Archive of Our Own ^beta

He thought maybe it started with the Sports Festival, but perhaps it was even before that. 

Either way, Shoto thought, once it started it just snowballed from there. Izuku Midoriya was going to be a part in his life forever in some form or another, and with each passing day that part only seemed to increase in size. It was simply hard to not notice Midoriya, Shoto reasoned with himself, that kid seemed to always be at the forefront of every conflict that befell their class. Not like it was his fault or anything, though. His strength, perseverance, and unwavering spirit among other things were characteristics Shoto came to respect and admire after everything, and even moreso when the two of them eventually found themselves as close friends. 

He was Shoto's first real friend, and currently his closest friend, a fact which he sometimes couldn't wrap his head around, considering how he'd acted toward him when they first properly spoke to one another. But that was Midoriya for you, he supposed. A truly kind and pure-hearted person whose positivity and strong spirit had infused into their class, creating something better than the original. Someone who, over time, Shoto found impossible to dislike even a little. Someone who definitely deserved better than him as a friend, but stuck by him anyway. That was Izuku Midoriya to him, just to start. 

Their friendship was strong and deep by this point, but Midoriya's causal demeanor around him still occasionally caught Shoto off guard--the light touches, the way he'd let their shoulders brush if they sat next to each other on the common room couch, the occasional awkward sort-of half hug, among other things. It wasn't something he was used to, but he couldn't say he was opposed to it, since it was coming from Midoriya. 

He also appreciated the times they could be alone together, such as now, as they were settled among school books and papers in Midoriya's dorm. Not that he didn't enjoy the company of his peers to some degree, but Shoto couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy whenever Midoriya was surrounded by his other friends. It wasn't his fault he was just so easy to be around, and it wasn't like he was Shoto's only friend anymore, but still . Midoriya was just something special.

He'd just finished the last problem on his worksheet, and when he leafed through the pages of homework he had out he was pleased to see that everything was done for the night. As if on cue, he heard Midoriya's textbook clap shut and a relieved sigh from where he sat on the bed, " Finally ."

Shoto hummed in agreement, turning away from Midoriya's desk to retrieve his bag. Midoriya filled the room with chatter as they both began to put their things away, "I still feel kind of burnt out from finals. I'm glad we got them over with, but I swear I kept dreaming of essay questions all throughout Christmas break." 

Shoto nodded, "I remember you did well, though." 

"I guess. My scores were kinda lower than last year's." The other boy sighed, "I gotta try harder next time, I don't want to fall behind or anything."

Shoto scoffed lightly, "You were still in the top ten. I don't think you have anything to worry about." He leaned back in the chair slightly, "you're probably one of the hardest working people I know." 

Midoriya gave a small huff of bashful laughter, looking toward the floor, "Th-thank you, Todoroki. You did really well too!"

His classmate's display of shyness unconsciously brought a soft smile to his face. He glanced at his phone, surprised to see that it wasn't as late as they thought it was, "Huh, it's only just now nine." 

"Whoa, really?" Midoriya verified with his own phone, "This has to be a new record for me." He stood from his bed to stretch out, having been curled into the same position for a little over two hours, "it's not a school night either, so I think everyone's watching movies downstairs. Do you wanna head down there?" 

Shoto didn't mind movie nights with his classmates--he found he enjoyed them more than he thought he would--but he wasn't always terribly fond of so many people in one room, especially since sometimes these nights could turn into raucous shenanigans. It's been a long time now, but sometimes Shoto still felt like he was adjusting to this new way of life. 

"I'm not sure, tonight." He answered. Midoriya knew why, after all the time they spent together and everything they'd learned about each other, so he didn't press him for a reason. 

"Oh, okay. Did you uh…" Midoriya rubbed the back of his neck, as if nervous, "did you want to go back to your room or do you want to maybe hang out or…?" 

"Hang out and do what?" 

"I dunno. Watch a movie?" 

Shoto tilted his head to one side, "Isn't there already a movie night downstairs?"

"Well, yeah." The other boy admitted, "but this could be like, a less...crowded movie night. Or we could watch funny YouTube videos instead or…" 

"What kind of movie did you have in mind?" He wasn't sure what they were watching downstairs, he thought after class he'd heard someone suggest the name of some corny romance he'd heard about but never seen, but he didn't know if they actually went with it. 

"I was uh, gonna ask you what you wanted to watch." Midoriya answered him.

"I'm fine with whatever you want to watch."

"But I'm asking you." Midoriya gave him a tiny smile that Shoto found he couldn't help but mirror back at him, kinda.

"You know more about movies than I do, Midoriya." Movies and other such entertainment were a more recent addition to Shoto's life. Previously, they were just known as 'distractions'.

Midoriya hummed in thought and turned to grab his laptop, waking it from sleep mode, "We can scroll through some and pick out whatever looks interesting." He offered. With that settled, soon Shoto found himself shoulder-to-shoulder with Midoriya on his bed, leaning against the headboard with the laptop set up in front of them and a movie fullscreened across its monitor, shining brightly in the darkened room. They'd ended up going with an All Might movie that was a reboot of one from a little over ten years ago. Midoriya had already seen it, but Shoto of course hadn't, and the dual Quirk user decided it would do. Midoriya seemed to have liked it on his first viewing. 

He found his gaze drawn toward the green-haired boy more than the movie over time, partially due to the occasional mumbled commentary that escaped him,

"...Still wish they hadn't scrapped the original scene, it added more nuance to the main conflict…" 

From this close, despite the only light in the room coming from the screen in front of them, Shoto could make out the individual freckles on Midoriya's right cheek. He unconsciously drew lines between them with his eyes, like he was mapping out tiny constellations.

"...The plot twist they added was kinda unnecessary but it was pretty well executed and adds another dimension to his character when in the original he was just a side character…"

Midoriya shifted slightly where he was nearly pressed against Shoto's left side. They were still in the throes of winter and even in the dorms it was a little chilly. He tugged a little at the blanket draped over both of their shoulders. It was soft and fleece and of course All Might-themed. 

"...They really did go all out with the special effects in this one. The original received a bunch of awards for best picture and a lot of it still holds up even today but wow what an improvement…"

Shoto sighed contentedly, but he felt Midoriya stiffen next to him, "O-oh, sorry. Was I mumbling again? I'm really sorry." His friend turned his head toward him, his big green eyes reflecting pyrotechnics and wild lights. 

"It's fine." Shoto told him calmly, "I like your commentary. I like hearing your thoughts in general." 

"Ah…" he couldn't see it, but he was sure Midoriya was blushing as he was so prone to doing, "no one's ever said that to me before." 

"Well, I just did." Shoto said matter-of-factly. Midoriya gave a small puff of laughter, and they lapsed into contented silence.

---

Shoto woke up to pale sunlight and soft breathing. It was probably early, it felt early. As awareness trickled back, he noticed he was still in Midoriya's dorm room, and currently had his limbs tangled with the other's under the covers. They must have dozed off sometime during the movie, and sunk into the bed fully sometime during the night. Thank goodness for that at least, they'd be terribly sore otherwise. 

Though now, Shoto was hesitant to move, suddenly overcome with the need to not wake his classmate up despite their position. It…was a little bit compromising--Midoriya curled against him, his face nestled against Shoto's neck. Their arms were loosely thrown around each other and their legs were tangled, their bodies likely having been seeking each other's warmth in the cold night. Shoto couldn't see Midoriya's face in this position, but the other boy's curls were soft against his own face. 

He hadn't dreamed overnight. 

Perhaps he should move to get up, but the early morning chill in the room presented a pretty good argument to the contrary--he was very comfortable in this soft warm bed, wrapped around a warm and familiar body. He could easily fall right back asleep if he wanted to. 

However the decision would be made for him, as he felt the other boy shift against him. Solid, strong arms stretched out around him and as the other teen drew back he could see Midoriya's eyes struggle to open. Midoriya scrubbed a scarred first over them with a small noise and slowly opened them. Shoto could see his gaze slowly clear of sleep, and sharpen into focus. Pale sunlight streaming through the window glinted off of deep green irises, the blend of colors reminding Shoto of early morning sunshine streaming through treetops. Somewhere quiet, somewhere peaceful, somewhere familiar…

"Oh...uh…"

Shoto blinked and Midoriya's room was back, "...Hi." he offered softly, voice husky with sleep.

Midoriya's eyes were wide and nervous, darting to and away from his classmate's face. He was tense like he was ready to move away, but didn't, "Um…s-sorry. Guess I dozed off…"

Shoto blinked his mismatched eyes at him curiously, "Why are you apologizing? I fell asleep too." 

"Ah, right…" he paused, "just um. Sorry about…this." The green-haired boy started to draw away from Shoto, and he was tempted by the urge to stop him, but let him move away, "I don't...I mean...I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." He knew about Shoto's feelings regarding physical contact toward him.

And yet…

"I'm not uncomfortable. Are you?"

Midoriya blinked, opened and closed his mouth a few times, and some of the tension left his arms, "Well...no. I don't mind. I just…yeah."

Yeah.

"You're warm." Shoto informed him in usual monotone. Midoriya looked up at him,

"Me? But you're the one with a warm side. It's…nice when the weather's like this." 

Shoto nodded, and the room went quiet as neither of them could quite think of what to say. As seconds turned into minutes, their bodies regrettably drew away from one another. Shoto noticed they'd both fallen asleep in their casual wear from the previous night. "I suppose I'll head back to my dorm." He said quietly.

"Uh, y-yeah. Sure. I'll see you downstairs." Midoriya's equally soft reply came. 

Shoto nodded, "See you." He stepped out of the room, but lingered at the door after it closed behind him.

Well, that was. Something.

Not a bad something, of course. But it was something. As the red-and-white-haired teen padded back to his own dorm, he dimly thought that this was a something he wouldn't mind doing again. 

---

The end of their weekend rolled around, and halfway into the next week Shoto battled a freezing headwind laced with sleet all the way to the dorms. Tonight's homework load promised at least a few hours to be dedicated to it, so he thought he might as well head straight to his room and try to get as much of it out of the way as he could. 

Inside, as he headed toward the common room, he paused when he caught sight of Midoriya shyly approaching Uraraka on one of the couches. She had been starting to unpack her own homework on the coffee table but paused as Midoriya seemed to urgently whisper something to her. Shoto saw Uraraka wince sympathetically in response to whatever she was told, turn to rifle through her bag, and then discreetly press something into Midoriya's hand. Midoriya jammed it into his pocket and seemed to stutter out his gratitude toward her before briskly ducking into the elevator. Shoto caught a glimpse of his pinched expression as he resumed entering the common room, but Midoriya didn't notice him before disappearing behind the metal doors.

"Is Midoriya alright?" He wondered out loud, and Uraraka caught the question and perked up to face him,

"Oh, hi Todoroki! Deku's…not feeling well right now, so I think he's going to his room to lie down for a bit." She informed him. She glanced off toward the elevator, giving it a look of pained sympathy.

Shoto blinked, brows furrowing with concern, "Is he coming down with something? Has he been to Recovery Girl? Is there anything I can do to help?"

Uraraka smiled fondly at him, "Aw, it's sweet of you to worry, but you don't need to. It happens--ah…" she stopped herself, seeming to reevaluate whatever she was about to say, and continued with a careful tone to her voice, "it's nothing serious. But if you wanna help, you could bring him some water. I don't know if he has any with him right now or not." 

Sounded simple enough. But Shoto continued to worry despite his classmate's reassurances. Something about how vague her explanation was made him wonder the true extent of his friend's ailment, though if Midoriya was neglecting his wellbeing again as he so often tended to do, Shoto couldn't imagine Uraraka allowing that to slide. 

Well, he'd see soon enough. He approached Midoriya's door, glass of water in hand, and knocked, "Midoriya? It's me."

A muffled " come in ." replied after a beat of silence. Inside the room, Shoto saw Midoriya curled up on top of his sheets with his arms wrapped around his middle. He sat up slightly as Shoto closed the door behind him, "Ah, hi Todoroki."

Shoto frowned a bit at the pained edge to his friend's voice, "Uraraka said you weren't feeling well. I brought you some water." As he moved to set it down on the bedside table, Midoriya shifted to open its drawer and fish out a small bottle of painkillers.

He took three, and settled back down, "Thank you, Todoroki."

"Is everything okay?" Shoto asked gently, sitting down in Midoriya's desk chair. 

"Yeah. It's…just something that happens. I'll be fine tomorrow."

"You look like you're in pain, are you sure?" 

"Oh…yeah." The boy shifted a little, adverting his gaze, "it's uh...my stomach. Usually I have a heating pad to help, but I think it died the other day." 

"Heat helps the pain?" 

Midoriya nodded, "Yeah, it--um, what are you doing?" He blinked up at Shoto, who had gotten up and now stood over him, left hand slightly raised,

"I can heat up my left side without creating flames, if that would help. Unless you aren't comfortable with that?" He retracted his hand a bit, and Midoriya propped himself up a bit,

"Oh no, it's not that...I just…it's not a huge deal, if you have other things you have to do. I don't want to inconvenience you--"

"Midoriya, it's okay. It's not an inconvenience." To hell with homework, Shoto knew his priorities. 

"I mean…if you're sure…" Midoriya mumbled, settling back down, "b-but don't feel obligated to stay if you have other stuff to do! I should be good once the painkillers kick in…" Shoto hummed in acknowledgement, carefully sitting himself on the bed next to his friend and gently trailing his hand toward Midoriya's stomach. His fingertips brushed bare skin where Midoriya's hoodie had rode up a bit, and the boy jerked slightly, "Watch it." He warned, stifling a giggle. 

Aw, he's ticklish. Shoto decided to file that information away for later. For what reason, he wasn't sure, but the tiny laugh the gesture got out of Midoriya had sent a gentle heat washing over him and a smirk threatened the corners of his mouth. Shoto cleared his throat, regaining that lost iota of composure, "Is this okay?" He asked gently, pressing his hand gently over Midoriya's abdomen, over his hoodie. He heard Midoriya sigh softly and felt him nod before quiet filled the room. Shoto pulled out his phone and resumed his reading of an article online he'd found that morning but hadn't finished before class had started. 

He expected Midoriya to fall asleep, but he hadn't yet, and shifted around a few times instead. Somehow after some time had passed, Shoto ended up reclining on Midoriya's bed while the other was curled into his left side, head resting on the taller boy's chest. Shoto's arm was still wrapped around Midoriya's body, hand resting gently over his stomach. He glanced down at him every so often to see the green-haired teen's eyes fluttering as he fought off a doze, "You're making me sleepy, Todoroki." He yawned.

"You can go to sleep if you want." Shoto told him, eyes still on his phone. 

"I can't, I gotta start on homework." Ah crap, that's right. 

Regrettably they broke off from their positions, though Midoriya looked less pained than he had when Shoto first came in. Since he had come straight to Midoriya's room, he still had his school bag with him, and so the two quietly spread out their familiar studying arrangement. 

The session ticked on as per normal, though Midoriya was a lot quieter than usual. It made sense, Shoto supposed, since he was feeling unwell today. Though a few glances in his direction made him think Midoriya was getting ready to say something since he wore such a pensive expression.

And after another pause, he did, "Todoroki, can I tell you something?"

Shoto hummed an affirmative, and looked up fully to see Midoriya's serious expression. Oh.

Midoriya was staring at his face, as if gauging his mood carefully. His mouth opened and closed a few times on aborted starts, and his eyes left Shoto a few times to dart around anxiously. Shoto turned to face him fully, the behavior giving him a prickle of unease, "...Midoriya?"

"I-I'm trans." 

Shoto blinked at him, and titled his head to the side, "Trans…?"

"T-transgender, I mean." 

That was a term Shoto had heard before, seen every now and then online in social spaces, though he rarely spent time on social media, "You're…changing genders?"

The scrutinizing green eyes were on him again, and his expression vaguely reminded Shoto of how Midoriya would look when he sized up an opponent or difficult obstacle, "Um…sort of." 

Shoto paused to let him explain, and he did so. Though his usual informative chatter sounded more like anxious, edgy word vomit, and his gaze was still searching and cautious, like he was worried about Shoto's reaction. Midoriya explained to him that he was a trans guy, someone who was assigned female at birth (that explained his current ailment) but was very much a boy, though he didn't know it until around five or so. He went on a little bit about what 'transgender' meant in general, and while Shoto found himself able to follow along, he had a feeling there was more to it. It sounded complex by the way Midoriya described it.

He noticed as Midoriya talked, some of the rigidity left his frame, and his gaze became less searching. Shoto hadn't really reacted much (not that he reacted strongly to much in general) and was more curious than anything. This was probably something his classmates and other people his age knew about, at least more so than himself. He didn't have internet access before UA, or much of a social life even among his own family members, and with his father being very much more of a traditional person, he supposed it made sense he never really learned about these things in detail. 

He decided to tell Midoriya as much, since he looked so nervous about Shoto's reaction. 

"Oh, yeah. Th-that's okay, I think. As long as--um...I mean…" his classmate fidgeted with his hands, "you're…you aren't mad or grossed out or anything, right?"

...Huh?   "Why would I be?" 

"Well…" Midoriya stared down into his sheets, "I mean…people are a lot more accepting about--about LGBT stuff in modern times than they were back then, especially before Quirks became a thing. But um…there's still always people who will judge and say it's wrong and sick and stuff…" 

Shoto frowned at him, brows pinching together in concern, "did you really think I would think badly of you for this, Midoriya?" That hurt a little bit, he had to admit, but he felt more upset that Midoriya felt the need to hide such a thing because of how the crueler population of the world was about it. While Shoto hadn't been educated on this stuff growing up, at least he hadn't been taught to hate what he didn't understand. The first real exposure he really ever had to this subject was probably when he was really little, sometime shortly before his Quirk manifested, and he'd pointed out two women kissing to his mother when they were at the park. She had gently informed him that yes, girls can like girls and boys can like boys the same way a mommy and daddy could like each other. It was a faint memory, but one that stuck.

Midoriya looked up at him, "N-no, not exactly. It's not...I mean…it's just something that's hard to bring up sometimes, for me. It's…really personal."

"Oh, okay." Shoto said, "well, I don't think badly of you, Midoriya." He doesn't think he's capable of that, to be honest.

"Thank you." His classmate breathed, and his body visibly relaxed, "it was… harder back before UA. I was already picked on a lot by my classmates, and this was um…another piece of ammunition for them I guess." 

Shoto briefly pictured himself tracking those cretins down. "Does anyone else know?"

Midoriya nodded, "Not many, though. Ochaco and Kacchan know, and Mr. Aizawa and All Might. And Recovery Girl." He said, " oh, and my mom of course. And...now you know." 

"I won't tell anyone." Shoto promised. It brought a gentle smile to Midoriya's face, which in turn warmed him.

"Thank you, I really appreciate it, Todoroki." The shorter boy relaxed fully into his sheets, reclining against the headboard, "I...I plan to tell everyone else eventually. It's not that I'm afraid of them or anything, UA feels a lot more accepting than my old school. It's just…" he looked down at his hands pensively, "it's kind of a big thing for me to confess. And even if no one is awful or judgemental about it, I still worry a little that it'll change how people will see me."

"You're still the same Midoriya to me." Shoto said simply. He wasn't really sure how to reassure Midoriya about this situation he himself didn't really understand until a few minutes ago, so he thought the best he could do about it was to just continue to be there for his friend. Midoriya's gender identity wouldn't change the fact that Shoto still saw a pillar of light and strength whenever he looked at him. 

Midoriya smiled at him, sending another fluttery current through his chest. A pause filled the room, and Shoto wondered if that meant this talk was done and it was time to get back to their homework. As he started to turn back to where he had his papers out on Midoriya's desk, he heard the other cough lightly,

"Um…you know…" Shoto turned to face him again, "I don't mind if you call me Izuku." 

Oh, that fluttery feeling again.

Shoto's mismatched eyes met with round green ones, "Alright. Then I don't mind if you call me Shoto."  

Mido-- Izuku smiled widely at that, and good God that sunshine-filled face did things to Shoto, made his heart skip beats and whatnot.

They lapsed into silence again, both turning to their respective homework assignments. A few minutes passed before Shoto turned to look at him again, "How are you feeling, by the way?" 

Izuku looked up at him, "Better, thank you. It's um...only really bad the first day or so. Like I said, I'll be fine tomorrow." 

Shoto nodded, "Good." He let another pause fill the room before he found his words traveling faster than his mind could process, "you know, when you tell the others at some point, if there's anyone who gives you problems you can let me know who." 

He heard Izuku splutter nervously, "Oh no, you don't have to uh...do anything on my behalf or anything! I can deal with it myself if there's any issues, I think." 

Shoto stared impassively at him, "Izuku, I want you to know that I would kill a man for you." 

At that, Izuku began laughing, warm and beautiful. Despite it being probably one of Shoto's favorite sounds ever, he frowned at him.

"Izuku, I'm serious." 

---

The walls seemed to shine with a sickly, oversaturated sheen. They swirl and disappear in his peripherals like a thick smoke.

UA is gone.

As Shoto staggers down the hall, some sense in the back of his mind told him that UA and its safety was far, far away. Farther away than it should be in proximity to his home. Wherever it was, or wherever this was in space, that sanctuary was unreachable.

He could hear muffled familiar voices of comfort, but when he followed them it led only to empty rooms. His home had been turned into an overly-bright labyrinth with no exits to speak of. No way out.

Someone growls his name from somewhere behind him, and dread whorls coldly in his chest. He doesn't turn around.

"You're home now. You're staying here. You aren't going back."

The air was thinning, yet pressing tightly around him. It wouldn't enter his lungs properly, it wouldn't let his chest expand with breath. Flames dance in the corner of his eye.

Let me out.

"You were created for this, and I'll see to it you fulfill that goal."  

Desperation rose and crush down around him, and he tries to shoot off a beam of ice to break down the wall. Terror floods his veins when it doesn't respond. He makes the mistake of trying his fire instead, but instead of it obeying his direction, it violently billows out and practically consumes him.

"Weak. Pathetic."

An unseen force grabs the back of his neck and he is sent sprawling across the floor. The world around him is filled with streams of writhing flames and the scorching air burns to breathe in. 

"How are you meant to fulfill your purpose when you can't even defend yourself?"

Something strikes him, hard, but when he looks up his assailant is vanishing back into the oppressive inferno wrung around him. 

"You aren't leaving until you get it right. I don't care how much it hurts."

Shoto thinks he hears a scream from somewhere, thinks it might have been his, but everything is whirling confusion and bright lights and scalding heat. Any combat knowledge or practiced reflexes have deserted him, leaving him curled on the wood floor that also bites scorch marks into his skin. 

It's loud, it's claustrophobic, it's going to kill him. 

I can't get out. No one knows where I am. I'll never see them again.

He's back home where he doesn't belong. 

Just when the world starts to fall apart overhead and crush him, everything is suddenly thrown into an abrupt, inky blackness.

Then his eyes shot open and his room was still there. 

No, no, no, no…

His chest hurt, his heart pounded like it was trying to break out of his ribcage. His breath came fast and panicked as he practically flung himself out of his futon and stumbled toward the door.

Let me out, let me out .

The hallway didn't match his room, but he kept staggering. He needed to get farther away. He'd finally found an exit and he was going to get out .

Shaking, sleep-heavy legs barely supported his body, and trembling fingers didn't catch the guardrail fast enough before he tumbled down a flight of stairs. He barely felt it, somehow, and the relentless fear pushed him back to his feet and propelled him forward. He had to keep going forward. Forward was out.

Another flight of stairs was behind him, and he didn't fall this time. And then another. The ground floor was almost there.

Someone called his name from somewhere behind him, and he bolted. The speaker called again, tone panicked rather than commanding, and in the darkness Shoto collided with the back of one of the common room couches. He stopped there, shaking and panting.

Something brushed his shoulder and he flinched, "Sh-Shoto? Oh my God, what happened?" 

Familiar. That voice was familiar.

The throes of panic settled just enough for him to make out and process Izuku's face in the darkness, but only just. 

"Oh my God, you're bleeding! H-here, sit down. J-just hang on, okay? It's okay Shoto, it's okay." 

It wasn't okay, he was pretty sure. God, his chest hurt .

He registered faintly that he wasn't standing anymore, and the quiet that followed the familiar voice didn't last long. Something damp was pressed gently against the right side of his forehead, and he began to register the feeling of something warm having trailed down his face a heartbeat before the wet object wiped it away. A light was turned on now, how long had it been on? His eyes found sweet, frightened, familiar eyes staring back at him, "Sh-Shoto? I ah…you…you're hyperventilating…" 

He felt lightheaded and his vision was starting to swim.

Rough but gentle fingers interlaced with his right hand, and another carefully grabbed his left and pressed it against Izuku's chest, "Just breathe, Shoto. Like this." He felt the other's chest expand slowly and deeply under his palm, "Copy me, breathe like this, it's okay." 

Shakily, he tried to mimic the pattern. Izuku's hand gently squeezed his as he patiently soothed him between breaths. 

Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. 

Slowly but surely, their breathing became synced. Shoto's heart still hammered and his chest felt beaten and raw from the inside but at least the lightheadedness was fading. Awareness trickled in, and he took in the situation. It was sometime in the middle of the night, he was seated on one of the couches in the common room, Izuku had turned on one of the lights and was sitting next to him, holding both his hands and looking him over with concern. He saw the concern melt a bit into relief as Shoto calmed down, and he felt Izuku squeeze the hand against his chest again, "Good, that's good Shoto." He said softly. He let go of the hand holding his right and picked up the damp paper towel he had been dabbing at Shoto's head previously to resume his earlier ministrations. Shoto caught the spots of red on the paper and frowned. 

Izuku was gentle, so gentle, like he was handling a priceless gem, "Your head is bleeding a little, but it's starting to stop. I think it's just a scrape, but are you okay?" His eyes searched Shoto's own. He must be looking for signs of concussion. The pain from his fall only now started to kick in, mostly centered around where he'd apparently scraped himself. He'd had concussions before, and while his sensations were kind of muddled and confused from leftover panic, he was pretty sure he was okay in that regard.

He told Izuku, who studied him a beat longer before drawing back slightly. He put the towel down, but still held Shoto's hand, "Okay, that's good I think. Are you alright besides that? You looked really scared."

"My chest hurts…" Shoto admitted, feeling compelled to tell him the truth rather than downplay or hide his condition. It wasn't like he'd succeed in getting him to go away, Izuku was well-known for being meddlesome (for good reasons). 

"Anxiety attack?" Izuku asked softly, "has this happened before?" Shoto nodded at that, though he hadn't known these episodes had a name. He always thought it was just a weirdly persistent feeling of fear. Izuku's free hand settled gently on his shoulder, "do you want to talk about it?" 

Shoto let out a long breath and leaned into the back of the couch. Izuku shifted and pressed into his side, not letting go of his hand. His friend now had an arm draped over his shoulders and his free hand tenderly brushed some of his bangs away from his face. The action stung Shoto's sore chest in an odd way. He wanted to cry for some reason. 

Taking a steadying breath, Shoto softly spoke, "It's…kind of stupid." He winced at the waver in his voice, "I just had a dream is all." 

Izuku's hand was gently carding through his hair, and the hand that was held in Izuku's tightened its grip unconsciously. He was so...comfortable doing this, and Shoto was faintly amazed that he himself was too. Izuku was so warm and gentle and grounding against his side. He really wanted to cry. He didn't even know why. "That's not stupid." Izuku said.

Shoto tried to swallow down the lump in his throat to no avail, "it…wasn't even the scariest thing I've ever dreamt about. Just…overwhelming." Izuku was quiet, inviting him to continue, "Overwhelming and confusing. I was back at home again, and couldn't get out." He looked toward the floor, shoulders hunching slightly, "I...I don't know why it got to me so much like that." 

Izuku hummed gently, stilling the hand in his hair, "Shoto, is it okay if I hug you?" 

Yes but no, Shoto thought. Yes because Izuku gave great hugs and he'd feel so safe wrapped up in his muscular arms. But also no because if he did, Shoto thought he might break. 

After a pause, however, he nodded his consent silently. Warm arms wrapped around him, tight enough for the pressure to be comforting but not enough to hurt, and Shoto broke.

But that was okay, he conceded. Izuku helps put all those pieces back together without even trying.  

He buried his face in Izuku's shoulder, exhaling shakily as the first tears escaped from his tightly closed eyes. His hands fisted in the fabric of Izuku's night shirt, and his shoulders shook with hitching breaths. Izuku's hands traced shapes comfortingly between his shoulders, and a gently whispered " I've got you " from him made Shoto want to cry harder.

How could Izuku be like this? How could any person be so…so…

So good??

When he felt himself begin to stabilize, his breathing slowing back down, his body loosening a bit, he pulled back slightly. They kept their arms loosely looped around each other, and their faces were so close their foreheads nearly touched, "Thn--" Shoto attempted to clear the crying from his throat, "Thank you, Izuku." 

Izuku graced him with another one of his smiles, "it's no problem, Shoto, I'll be here to help whenever you need me." 

"Thank you, Izuku." Shoto repeated, deliberately. 

"Yeah, it's no prob--"

"No." Shoto raised his head to look Izuku directly in his shining, foresty eyes, "I mean. Thank you…for…for you." 

"For me?"

Shoto dropped his head back onto Izuku's cried-on shoulder and nodded, "I'm so lucky to know you."

Izuku gave a quiet, shuddering sigh, "Oh, Shoto…" He was probably about to cry too. It wasn't that he was a crybaby, Shoto had learned, the other teen just felt things very strongly. 

He knew a lot about Izuku at this point, and Izuku knew a lot about him. And he often found himself wanting to know more. 

Life dealt him a pretty awful hand, but at least it also gave him the best first friend in the world.

As time passed and Shoto relaxed, Izuku lead them both back upstairs to the dorms. He gave Shoto a questioning look when they stopped on the floor the green-haired teen's dorm was, and Shoto nodded. Hand-in-hand, they retreated into Izuku's room and curled up together in his bed. The awkwardness of it all that should have been present was absent, maybe due to the two being too tired to care or something else. Either way, they fell asleep holding one another, as if it was the most natural thing in the world to them.

Shoto slept uninterrupted through the night.

---

Time continued to pass, and the first word that came to mind when Shoto thought of him and Izuku was 'peaceful'. 

Homework and study sessions usually took place in Izuku's room, and when they would finish they would have themselves another private movie night, or they'd go out for training, or sometimes they'd just lounge around the room talking about nothing in particular. Opinions on heros (Izuku had lots to say, and Shoto was so, so fond of the way his eyes would light up), or movies, or talks about plans for their days off, and such. 

Shoto would have to take Izuku with him when he visited his mother next time. She'd love him, he was pretty sure. It was hard not to love Izuku. 

They still attended class movie nights too, with Izuku always relaxed into the spot next to Shoto and usually Uraraka seated on his other side. There was one night where Izuku dozed off and slumped into Shoto, and when he glanced over Uraraka grinned brightly at him and shot him a thumbs up. 

It wasn't just her, it seemed like most of their class had taken notice of their closeness. Momo, whom Shoto considered his second-closest friend, would gaze over at the two with a knowing, fond smile. Kaminari and Ashido made made light, friendly jabs at the two of them, which made Izuku turn cherry-red and stutter adorably while Shoto would just huff and shrug them off. One day he saw Kirishima playfully clap Izuku on the shoulder, looking like a proud older brother. He didn't catch what he'd apparently said to Izuku, but whatever it was it flustered him. 

Maybe it was a little annoying, but no one truly harassed them about their close, comfy friendship. Not even Bakugo, who usually just rolled his eyes and scoffed something about 'damn nerds' whenever the pair showed up around him. There was one incident where Kaminari made a cheeky comment at Izuku that Shoto thought might have been some kind of innuendo, judging by Izuku's flustered yelling, and Bakugo just silently snagged the electric student by the back of his collar and tossed him neatly out of an open window (thankfully on the ground floor). He had simply claimed that the Pikachu was annoying him before stalking off. 

Yeah, it might've been a little annoying, but in a way it was kind of validating as well. He wasn't sure how to explain it, but it was nice that the others thought he and Izuku fit together just as much as they did. 

It all felt right.

One weekend afternoon saw the two of them outside together, sat under one of the taller trees on campus. It was still cold, but not nearly as bad as it had been the past couple of weeks. The two wore hoodies and were leaned into each other's sides as per usual, Shoto's warm side keeping them comfortable in the brisk air.

They were watching videos on Izuku's phone. The shorter teen had originally wanted to show Shoto this cool recorded footage of a bank robbery that had been smoothly thwarted by one of the local heros, but it turned into watching various random things that popped up in the related videos section. 

After a little distance down the YouTube rabbit hole, they ended up on one of those 'try not to laugh challenge' videos. Izuku failed a long time ago, at the first clip that featured someone's pets. A couple caused Shoto to smile and exhale sharply in amusement, but none got a reaction anywhere close to Izuku's laughter. The other boy's face was reddened and tears were starting to form at the corners of his shining eyes. It was goddamn beautiful. 

A particular video really got him, then. Something involving cats, and the video cutting off right at the start of the cameraperson screaming at something in shock. Izuku had to pause the video as he doubled over, shaking with laughter that was almost just straight screaming. Shoto didn't understand the punchline of the video, but a small chuckle escaped him as he watched Izuku fall apart.

Then it all went to hell after Izuku started to slow down. He was quite red and tear tracks marked up his cheeks. He tried to re-stablize his breathing, but instead he suddenly wheezed loudly and launched right back into the throes of another laughing fit. "Wh-what's so funny?" Shoto asked, voice wavering as more laughter bubbled up in his chest. He was beginning to understand that saying about laughter being contagious.

Izuku wheezed, "It's just--it's just," he panted, "the way h-he-- th-the--" another bout smothered his words. God, he was laughing so hard he couldn't even finish his sentence. Shoto wanted to squeeze him. Izuku slumped heavily against Shoto's side as the laughter rocked him hard. Shoto giggled softly at the sight, but then Izuku snorted on an inhale, and Shoto suddenly just lost it.  

He covered his face with his hands and shook with laughter, leaning back into Izuku, who was now laughing at the sight of Shoto laughing. It was a terribly wonderful feedback loop they were trapped in. Shoto thought he might suffocate to death from the laughing fit, and honestly, he decided he wouldn't mind. What a way to go, killed by Izuku's tiny laugh-snort. 

Eventually the fits subsided, leaving the pair panting heavily and leaning into one another. Izuku wiped his eyes and chuckled breathlessly, "H-hah, I don't--don't know why that got me so bad." 

"Your laughing made me laugh." Shoto told him, still trying to catch his breath.

Izuku giggled, "Oh my gosh, I don't think I've ever seen you laugh like, genuinely before." He smiled, crooked and dopey and aaaaa- "and it was because of me? I think that's my greatest achievement in life so far."

"Getting into UA isn't your greatest achievement?" Shoto joked, nudging him with his elbow. 

"It's a close second." Izuku said. He lifted a hand and swept some of Shoto's ruffled bangs out of his eyes with such tenderness Shoto felt his barely-reclaimed breath woosh back out of him, "But there's not a lot of things that can top 'Get Shoto Todoroki To Laugh' in my opinion." He lightly poked him on the cheek to punctuate his reasoning, and Shoto felt his heart just about stop entirely. 

They quieted down, save for the last few pants of them recovering from their laughter. They were slumped into each other bonelessly, arms loosely thrown around each other and Shoto resting his cheek against Izuku's head. 

And they just sat like that for a minute. All wrapped up in each other. It was the best feeling in the world, probably, Shoto thought. Everything felt so soft and warm, the world around them looked so vibrant and inviting. For a moment, Shoto could forget everything except the boy snuggled against him. 

It was wonderful.

He felt Izuku turn his head and nuzzle into the juncture between his neck and shoulder. He made a soft sound of contentment, and Shoto somehow managed to pull him closer.

"Mmm…Shoto…" Izuku mumbled into the fabric of his hoodie. Shoto shifted so he could look down and see the other's face. Izuku met his eyes, and Shoto was sure he'd never seen him look so serene, "I like you...a lot." He told him softly.

Warmth swelled overwhelmingly in his chest and his stomach was filled with the beats of a hundred butterfly wings, "Yeah?" He answered with a soft smile, "I like you too."

"I really like you, Shoto." Izuku said, almost insistently, curling tighter against the taller boy as if it was possible to get any closer. 

"I think I like you more " Shoto teased softly, and his smile grew at the indignance that appeared on Izuku's face,

"You do not! " He squeaked, pouting.

"Yeah, I do." 

"I like you more!"

"Not as much as I like you." 

Izuku growled, and sat up so the two were practically nose-to-nose. Before he could retort, Shoto leaned in and gave him a light peck on the cheek. Izuku promptly short-circuited and buried his face in Shoto's chest, gripping handfuls of hoodie fabric. Shoto couldn't help but laugh lightly, "why don't we agree to disagree?"

Izuku's head shot up, and Shoto saw the determination flash in his eyes before he lunged forward and pressed their lips together. They held it for a second before Izuku pulled away, now having the audacity to look smug, "Okay!" He quipped as Shoto himself lost higher brain function.

Izuku started laughing again, and Shoto looked up to marvel at him once he'd regained some composure. When they caught each other's gazes again, Shoto looked serious, "I change my mind. I don't like you. I think I actually love you." 

Izuku stuttered something incomprehensible as Shoto leaned in to chastely capture his lips again. He felt Izuku melt against him, and when they parted again, the other fell into him and buried his face in his shoulder. His muscular arms held Shoto in a crushing grip. Something was mumbled into his hoodie, and Shoto smiled down at his curls, "Did you say something?"

Izuku squeezed him tighter, "I love you too, Shoto." 

Shoto planted a kiss on the top of his head, "Love you more."

"Please, not this again." Izuku whined, and Shoto laughed.

Shoto knew a long time ago that Izuku Midoriya was going to be a part of his life forever, in some way shape or form. 

And he wouldn't want it any other way.