Chapter 1
Notes:
Hello!! This is technically a rewrite of this original story, as I changed the major plot points due to my change of comfort of writing those certain things. After months of stalling and working on other fics, it's finally time for this fic to shine its renewable glory!
That sounds so ominous, oops
Anyways, I hope you enjoy :3_
(Each chapter will have content warnings in the beginning of notes.)
_Content Warning's:
- blood & injury
- severe religious trauma
- self-depreciating thoughts
- unintentional self-harm
- anxiety attacks
- mentions of murder slash threats of murder
- heavily references to child abuse
Chapter Text
..·🌸·..
With clumsy running and stumbling through the thick tundra snow, he struggles with keeping his eyes open and not stop running. He poorly shields his bleeding wound from the falling snowflakes and cold air with his hand. Fuck, his hand..
His skin was tinted pink and pale, shaking and cold, and he feared the after effects when he gets out of here. It's possible he would get hypothermia at this point.
Everything was blurry, his vision randomly darkening and brightening every few blinks, barely allowing him glimpses of where he was going. Running practically blindly was not ideal. Almost as scary as who he was running from.
Tommy was stuck in a tundra biome and was over fifteen miles away from civilization, even then, it was just a small useless village. He was a whole island away from his home. The only quick way was going through the Nether portal.
Tommy was alone out here, unsafe with the two predators that want him dead and will glady do so themselves. He was powerless to stop them, he had no help or weapons and he was already wounded.
They were stronger than him, even more so combined, and they knew what button to push. Especially Dream. That fucking wolf.
Tommy's only escape was the portal. It was so close but still so far away. He had to make it, he had to.
Tubbo and all of his friends were waiting for him to come back home, his herd was waiting for him and he couldn't let them down again. Surely they were.
His ears were ringing and his heartbeat was heavy in his chest, his throat and stomach felt like they were tied in a knot and he felt sick, even the feedback was growing distant and barely registering anything.
His hearing was fading away and making everything just out of earshot. He could only hear the sound of his uneven breathing. Even that was a little distant, it felt like it wasn't his body.
He couldn't stop shaking and crying, all while ignoring the ache to collapse.
His tears were cold against his skin as they slid down, blurring his vision further. Blinking them away, they keep resurfacing.
He's sure his face was red by now, looking like a mess of an idiot who didn't know what he was doing. He never liked crying.
Wilbur used to say it was okay to cry, but the voice inside his head begs to differ. Tommy cried anyway, in the privacy of his own judgment mostly, but there was that time he was near sobbing when Wilbur was killed in front of him.
He could never stand the feeling of vulnerability or loss of anything, it never felt safe and didn't turn out 'okay' in the end. The hurt never leaves him and turns into a dull ache.
He was always a sensitive kid.
He suddenly trips over himself, his foot suddenly getting caught and tugged down in the snow. He fell down just as his vision disappears again.
He gasped loudly at the sudden feeling of something so cold under his body and melting against the natural heat of his skin, the snow slowly turning into water and adding to the ruin of his clothes.
The hand over his side twitches violently, accidently pressing on his wound and making him hiss in pain. Blood slipped out through his fingers, falling onto the snow and being stained with velvet.
He cursed and glanced down at his blood covered hand, hastily putting it back over his cut to get it out of view, out of mind.
Once his vision came back, Tommy tried to get up quickly without worsening the fuzziness and dizziness in his head. Damn it, that shit was embarrassing.
Just as he manages to stand up, barely catching himself from falling over again and minding himself to not press on his wound more, his ears went back at the hauntingly deep howl and screaming of his name far behind him, eerily and echoing in the purple sunsetting atmosphere.
"Tommy! Get over here!" They screamed, voice stern and gravelly. It was Techno.
Dream was the one howling, sounding like he's gone feral. Which was probably true at this point, chasing Tommy always got him overly excited and murderous, something akin to a sport he loved to do in exile.
It sounded like they were getting closer.
His eyes widen, throat clamping up and pupils constricting, his instincts urging him to escape more urgent than before. He listens, praying to the gods above that he doesn't fucking pass out from all this stress.
Picking up his stumbling slash jogging with a dreaded pit twisting and sinking in his stomach, he doesn't looks back, fearful of seeing them and them seeing him.
Tommy felt very much like the prey he is; a defenseless lamb separated from it's herd, being hunt down by two hungry predators, who clearly caught the scent of it's blood and distress, the blood droplets in the snow hints of the direction he fled.
He didn't want to live up to his species' stereotype, yet he ends up dying like this every time.
Tears slide down his face through the fog of his light headedness, choking out a sob as his legs pass their limit and his lungs constrict in wheezes. Everything hurt so much.
At least he was getting closer to the portal, he was almost there, he can see it! Just a little longer.
He quickened his pace as much as he could, keeping his eyes locked on the Nether portal the whole time, pushing through the trembles of his body and pain trying to clog his brain.
Ashamed at his weakness, he resorted to the thing that was all he could do in exile and Pogtopia, the prayers slipping out of his mouth like second nature. "Dear God, p- please give me strength when I am weak, love when I feel forsaken, courage when I am a- afraid, wisdom when I feel foolish, comfort when I am alone, hope when I f- feel rejected, and peace when I am in turmoil. Amen."
Dream would often laugh and taunts him if he heard him praying, sometimes hitting him just to see him flinch and waver his words. Wilbur would scoff and leave when he prayed in Pogtopia, the coldness of barren stone walls trapping them in not helping with the ache of disapproval from his brother.
Both of them disliked that he still believed praying to a God so spiritual and special, hoping God would take time to answer someone not-so-special, like him. They didn't think his prayers would ever be acknowledged, like his pleas for them to stop and listen to him.
While Tommy felt damned and shunned for everything he's done and caused by XD and Prime, and while he finds himself giving up hope on believing in them, he couldn't find it in himself to stop leaving one of the only familiar remnants of his youth.
It gave him somewhat comfort in times like this, no matter if he was being listened to or not.
"Inspired with this con- confidence, we turn to thee, O Prime of holiness and purity, our Mother." Tommy said, his voice choking up and watery, pausing, shuddering a breathe and continuing. "To.. To thee we come, before thee we stand, s- sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, do not despise our petitions, but.. in thy mercy, hear and- and answer us. Amen."
"Please, please," Tommy could barely hear himself plead through the mess of his heartbeat and wheezing, mumbling and begging weakly and desperate. "Please, XD, Prime, let me leave. Oh, dear God, let me live."
It all felt so familiar to him, it was nearly pathetic. Or it was entirely. Who's he to say.
The yearning of wanting to leave once and for all, be safe and far away from the fangs and claws of they who used to his friend, his brother. He did not miss this feeling of heartbreak and uselessness.
Tommy almost couldn't believe he used to love both of them like family, idolizing them and caring so much of what they thought of him, like the fucking oblivious, idiot he is.
Then again, they were so different back then. They were so easy to love. Easy to forget what they've done and blindly trust.
Even after what they've done to him and his friends, he couldn't get over himself and whole heartily think of them as traitors and an enemy, not as a friend or a brother.
It's so strange of how you think you know someone inside and out, think you understand them and connect with them, love them, when it was all just a game to them. How just as easy they can change and hurt you.
It's kinda funny, really. Back then, Tommy hadn't known it was pain he was feeling, not anger or childish lashing out like the adults called it.
In exile, he hadn't had someone like Dream in too long and was desperate for someone to hold him, tell him how much they love him, spend time with him and indulge his crazy ideas. Like Tubbo and Wilbur did before they detached themselves from his herd.
Tommy had been so caught up in his instincts of a new herd member, that he didn't recognize the moment when the gentle, protective hugs turned into painful clutches that refused to let go.
He doesn't know when Dream's playful and hyper tackles, light punches, and light hearted teasing had turned into twists of his arms, bruising and hitting him when he does something Dream didn't like.
He doesn't know when the whispering of stories late at night turned into shouting that almost drowned out Tommy's pleading and crying.
He used to call him a friend. Now he's scared to fucking think of him.
With Techno, they go deeper than friendship and a single server. They've known half their lives, their history more of a brotherly bond.
He was apart of his herd, his older brother, definitely not by blood but he was still the one who Tommy turns to when things go wrong, if Wilbur wasn't there or not on his side about something.
He was the one who used to protect him when Philza and Wilbur started to fight, the one who taught him how to properly wield a sword and shoot arrows before anyone else.
But now, Techno is the one he's running from and not to. He's the one who caused the stinging slash in his side. He's the one who left his herd the moment he choose to kill Tubbo.
Tommy will forever wonder when did Techno stop loving him.
Tommy sighed in relief, pushing down a bleat, when he finally reaches the portal, a watery smile gracing his bruised and tear stained face, the endless swirling inviting him in and casting a purple hue onto his frame and reflecting in his glassy blue eyes.
He made it.
Now he just has to hastily make his way through the Nether without running into harmful mobs, and get to the other portal leading to L'manburg. Hopefully someone that is kind enough will see him and bring him to safety, maybe lend him some gauze to use.
He hopes everyone won't hate him like Dream tried to drill in his head and would let him stay. If that was the case, then he could always go through runaway plan. Nothing was left for him here anyway, so he could start a new life and heal in peace with no more wars and no more Dream.
God, that sounds so wonderful.
Without missing another beat, Tommy closes his eyes and goes in the portal, welcoming the familiar purple warmth that surrounds him and mentally preparing himself to be met with the dark red attributes of the nether.
Then suddenly, the overwhelming warmth around him began to twist into a mild cold breeze, the fuzz of the swirls were gone. Now it was green. Not the nauseating green of Dream's sweater, but a neutral tone of green, like nature.
Something felt off. Wrong. He wasn't supposed to be here, wherever 'here' was.
He wasn't given anytime to think more as to why, when he was pushed out by something large against his back. Like a.. hand. What. What the fuck.
Tommy landed on soft blades of grass instead of nether rack, greeted by birds chirping and squirrels chittering, branches swaying and leaves brushing against each other.
Tommy snaps his head up, widening his eyes at the tall trees surrounding him in a clearing. He would've thought that the portal accidently connected with the one at L'manburg, if it wasn't for the area around him looking so very different than it.
It was like a distant memory had been unlocked from many years ago, back when he was a younger kid and they were all living together still, before they split after an argument when Tommy wanted to go to Dream's server.
Of course he left without caring for Phil's and Techno's complaints, Wilbur had taken a bit convincing but joined him after a week or two.
That's right.. Didn't Phil have a portal himself, the one he for some reason had put in the woods? He had put it there so they wouldn't find it and go in the nether without him knowing, even though they found it.
But what is he doing here? How the hell did he get back home?
Well, shit. He hadn't called it home in years.
"Tommy, there you are!" A boyishly high pitched voice called out behind him, filled with relief, sounding awfully similar to a someone he once knew. "Dad was starting to get worried about you, y'know. You've been gone over the two hour mark, bud. What are you doing over here anyway?"
Turning his head over his shoulder with new fresh tears glassing over his eyes, frozen as he stared at the unmistakable figure of Wilbur, who looked much healthier and happier.
He looked just like how he remembered him, expect looking a couple years younger than before. Around sixteen? Seventeen?
How is the hell is that even possible?
Is that really him?
His hands gripped the grass beneath his palms, meekly mumbling with a wobbly bottom lip. "Wilbur?"
The brunette tilted his head, adjusting his circle glasses, a smile brightening his face while concern was expressed through his shifting canine ears and stiff tail. "Yeah? What's up, Tommy? Did you hit your head and fall? Is that why you're on the ground?"
He didn't get a response, the young lamb silently staring at him for a couple moments with an emotional gaze. Which wasn't very unusual for this Wilbur, since Tommy was known to be a sensitive kid, still learning how to self comfort and understand his big emotions for things.
Wilbur still parted his lips to ask what was wrong but was taken back by the sudden rush of his baby brother colliding into him with a loud bleat, arms wrapping around his waist and his face buried in his yellow sweater.
Wilbur looked down at his brother, confused but figuring he must have gotten scared being alone out here too long.
Tommy was a very affectionate and social child, typically traveling with someone or a group. He denies it, but he gets more clingy when he's scared or sad.
He wasn't used to being alone, quite common for sheep hybrids so it was expected. Especially lambs, as it was in their nature to follow their family.
Tommy's shoulders start shaking and a muffled sob tore through him. Wilbur lets him cry onto him, not caring if his shirt was ruined with snot and tears.
As long as his brother is alright, he doesn't care what it costs. Even if it was kind of gross.
"I missed you so much." The young lamb says into his sweater, hugging him tightly and fearing deeply that he'll soon disappear all over again. His touch was returned, more gentle with care.
Wilbur's chest rumbles with a chuckle, his hand retracting and running through Tommy's own blonde curls. "You saw me before you left the house."
"I know," Tommy didn't know anything, he didn't know why he was here or what to do, but the tears slipped from his eyes just as easily as the words did from his mouth. "I just wanted to see you already, Wilbur."
Tommy has been waiting for almost three years. He's forgotten just how much he missed the annoyingly comforting Dutch shepherd.
"Hey, and that's alright. You're gonna be alright." Wilbur soothes, bending down and picking him up, holding him so close and secure, just like he used to do. "Let's go home, yeah?"
"M'kay.." Tommy sniffles, taking in the serene bringing scent of caramel candy apple belonging to his protector, wrapping his arms around his neck and putting his head down.
His tears lessened, having a few stray ones falling down.
He closed his eyes for rest, slowly falling asleep to the warmth of another.
He hoped to Prime this wasn't a dream.
··.🌸.··
Chapter 2
Notes:
Content Warnings:
- hyperventilating until passing out at the end
- sensory overload
- emotional outbursts / lashing out
- mentioned past character death
- child neglect
- mentions of explosions
- mentions of mild gore
Chapter Text
..·🌸·..
When Tommy opened his eyes, he was confused.
He looked around the room, recognizing the painted baby blue walls with white clouds scattered, his bed was the size for a child below ten, there was toys on the floor, the walls had a few posters of games and pictures of his family. His old herd.
This is the same room he had in his childhood house before he left.
He laid in a small bed with blue sheets, four stuffed animals sitting beside to him as if watching over him as he slept. The stuffed animals were a dark brown dog, a fuzzy pink bear with sowed on eyes and nose, a small bird filled with beads, and a white cat with a pink bow around its neck.
All of them obviously resembling the people he used to care deeply for when he was younger. He still does, no matter how hard he tries to trick himself. He thinks he will always care about them.
His hands twitch, a phantom ache on the side of his stomach, a reminder of what happened not too long ago. A reminder that his near death experience was real and was running for dear life. Not the first time, but it doesn't get easier.
Tommy uncovered the blanket over him, expecting to see bandages wrapped around his waist, yet all that was there was his old fucking ironic sheep pajamas. He hated those pajamas. Wilbur used to insist they were cute, but to hell with 'em.
His thoughts were put to a halt, his body was smaller and with baby fat, and far healthier than the body he was supposed to have from the years spent on the server. He looked at his hands, eyes widening further.
There were no scars, or dirty bandaids or any speckle of blood, his skin was soft and not calloused. His fingernails didn't have dirt or dried blood underneath them, which was a rarity.
Glancing at the small beside table next to him, he sees a family picture of all of them next to a blue and white curvy glass lamp.
He was four years old in the picture, being held by Wilbur and holding onto Techno's necklace, the latter simply letting him with a small smile. Phil was behind them, smiling with embarrassment and fondness, holding the hands of a woman he hasn't seen for years. Maybe he wasn't dreaming after all.
Then that has to mean...
Tommy got out bed as quietly and quickly as he could, he didn't know what time it is and if the others were asleep or not. The light outside was seeping through the curtains, the shade of blue matching the colour theme of the room. It was almost too blue to be honest.
Tommy almost overlooks his reflection as he passes by his old small vanity. He stops and takes a few steps backwards until he is in center of the mirror, meeting his own wide eyes.
His curly blonde hair didn't reach his shoulders, a lighter shade and curlier. His horns, ears, and tail were smaller. His eyebags were gone and the light in his eyes were back, but looks to be dimming now that his damaged soul is in the purer and younger body that was no longer his own.
It felt wrong in a way, even though this was himself just younger, he felt like a trespasser, detached, almost.
His hand is slowly brought up to brush his fingertips against his face, feeling soft skin that wasn't ruined by lightening, swords, and explosion scarring. He was much smaller and shorter, looking to be around the age of eight or seven.
Tommy held back a groan, connecting the dots of him somehow being transported back in time through the Nether portal.
"Thanks a lot, XD!" He retorted sarcastically in a whisper at the roof, itching to stomp his foot.
He turned away, hugging his arms around himself as he continues his way out the room. It was cold in the mornings, not as cold as a deserted island, so he managed.
The door was partially closed, all he had to do was nudge it open with his foot. There was a ticking grandfather clock down the hall, and with a glance, he sees it is ten thirty in the morning. He tried his best to be as quiet as possible as he crept down the hall.
As he passed the neighbouring door to his room, it suddenly opened. He stiffened fearfully, snapping his head up towards.. younger Wilbur.
He sounded groggy but still attentive, slightly swaying with sleep as he leans on his doorway. "Hey little man, what are you doing up so early? Are you okay?"
Tommy swallowed down a startled bleat before nodding quickly, "U- Um.. yeah, I'm okay." He mumbled, awkwardly curling into himself and unknowingly putting negative emotion in his scent.
Being a sheep hybrid, he wasn't exactly made to be able to smell scents as good as Wilbur or Techno was, so it was only faint, sometimes barely there at all for him, so he couldn't tell.
Wilbur sniffed the air around him, frowning, and bends down on one knee, tilting his head. "Are you sure you're okay? Did you have a nightmare?"
He slowly reached out a hand to hold Tommy's cheek innocently and gently, but when fingers brush against his skin, Tommy was reminded of brutality in a ravine. Tommy flinched and made a choked noise of a bleat in the back of his throat, half expecting to be hurt from the touch.
Wilbur's breathe hitched, his eyes widening, pulling his hand away like it burned him and staring at the younger boy with an emotion he didn't know to name.
Hurt, concern, confusion. A mixture of it all.
"Tommy?" He blinked before shaking his head, standing up and mustering a hesitant smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Y- You're probably just hungry. Let's go see if dad is awake, yeah?"
At his shy nod, Wilbur led the two of them downstairs. Phil greets them with a small smile. "Morning you two. Is Techno still asleep?"
"As always." Wilbur said with a roll of his eyes, leading Tommy to sit down at the dinner table.
The lamb did so quietly. He tried to force himself to appear calm and sleepy. Yet Wilbur, who sat next to him rather closely, kept giving him the side eye as he spoke with Phil.
It was only when Philza brought two plates of a traditional British breakfast, is when he also noticed the change of mood of his youngest. "Toms, you feeling good mate?"
Tommy nodded mutely, not raising his head. He looked like he was waiting an order.
"You sure? If you're not hungry you don't have to force yourself to eat, I can just give it to Techno." Phil pressed more, gazing down at the other blonde with his parental instincts setting off alarms in his head.
Wilbur shook his head and spoke for him before he started to eat. "Don't worry, he probably just had a nightmare last night. He woke up pretty early."
"Well, alright." Phil said with pursed lips, glancing at Wilbur with uncertainty before he went back in the kitchen. The moment he was gone, Tommy heard Wilbur scoff quietly with a slight roll of his eyes.
He doesn't blame him for acting that way. One second their dad would be all nice and carefree, then the next he was unresponsive and shuts them out.
Obviously he was grieving in his own way, but so were they, and they needed him to be there.
Yet Phil was so caught up in his own world and his own emotions. Maybe he thought the opposite, somehow, that his kids were better off without him? That's how Tommy felt sometimes. Or maybe they weren't clear enough with their needs?
Hm. He should save that thought for later.
They hadn't brought her up in years. The last time they did was when Wilbur and Phil were arguing the night before they left for Dream's server. Wilbur had said along the lines of their mother would be disappointed in Phil's lack of parenting.
The look on both their faces had spoke volumes, containing the emotions they were trying desperately to repress. But Tommy knew it all too well, having tried to do the same thing for all these years.
He remembers what they looked like in that moment, bore witness the flashes of regret, grief, and then frustration, in Wilbur's eyes before he forced it into a cold glare. And the shock and anger turning into sadness and regret in Phil's before he too locked it away.
After they left in the morning, Phil didn't speak to them for two whole months.
Wilbur then looked back towards him, a smiling as he winks. "Go ahead and get your nutrients, king. Tomorrow we're gonna see your favourite woman." He said before going back to eating.
Tommy blinked. Who was he taking about?
He stared at Wilbur for a few more seconds, snapping out of it with a flicker of his ear. That was a problem for tomorrow him. He picked up his fork and slowly began eating.
If It was poisonous, well. He wouldn't really mind that right now. Going out in a delicious way sounds better than being sliced or torn to shreds.
Tommy was on his fifth bite of his eggs when Technoblade walked in, ruining his semi peaceful meal. His hands start shaking so he puts down his fork to not drop it, gulping and averting his gaze onto his plate, fiddling with his hands in his lap.
The side of his stomach starts to ache again, and for a split moment there was dripping blood on his hands, and deep and jagged scars all over his arms. There was so much blood, he couldn't believe it was his.
"Hey, Tommy," Techno's voice snaps him out of it, his head raising to look up at the bear hybrid. "Where were you yesterday?"
Oh right, yesterday. Tommy had fell asleep before they even made it back home.
Did Wilbur not tell them? It's not like going around the portal was bad or anything.
Again and again, Tommy gets ripped from his thoughts when Techno plops himself down across from him, making him stiff, shoulders hunching in and floppy ears going back. The Kodiak bear hybrid raises a brow at his avoidance and sudden silence.
Wilbur unhelpfully nudged him with an elbow, chewing loudly and speaking through it. "I foun' him at thuh portal. I thin' he jus' loss track of tahm."
"Yeah, I literally have no idea what you said." Techno deadpanned, then grimacing in disgust. "Don't talk with your mouth full, that's gross, Wilbur."
The Dutch shepherd made an face at him before swallowing his food. "I said; I found him at the portal, the one in the woods that dad thinks we forgot about."
"What was he doing so far out?" Techno glanced between them, his frown deepening. And y'know, it felt a bit weird to see a sixteen year old frown so much. Not like Tommy is one to speak. He's probably gonna have tons of frown lines when he's old.
"I don't know," Wilbur looked down at the youngest, who nearly started sweating at the combined attention. "Tommy, why were you so far in the woods? You usually stay near the house. Didn't you say you're afraid of the woods?"
Shit. He was not prepared to be questioned, how dare they. Okay, okay, stay calm. No one knows how you got here, it's fine.
Yet when he accidently makes eye contact with Technoblade, he didn't feel very fine. In fact, maybe he should've jumped off that tower 'cause what the fuck is he doing here.
"I- I was curious," He started in a gulp. "There.. was a butterfly, so I chased it. I didn't know how far I was until..." His throat clamped up, he looked at Wilbur and remembered what he assumed when he found him. "I fell. Tripped, on a- on a rock."
Hell yeah, that was a good save. He's a natural at this. He should time travel more oft—
"Hm." Techno hummed, staring at him with unreadable, calculating eyes.
...What the hell does 'hm' mean? Is that good or bad?
The rest of the dinner passes by slow and awkward. Tommy didn't speak afterwards when Phil came to sit with them, too uncomfortable to participate In their half assed conversations.
Wilbur tried several times to get him to eat more but he couldn't bring himself to after already devouring half the food on his plate.
Everything took a turn for the worst when Phil was getting their plates for them to clean. He was too close for Tommy's comfort, leaning over his shoulder to get his plate. It was innocent and okay at first.
And honestly, the man did nothing to provoke him. But when Tommy looked at Phil's shadow, with his eyes dilating and teeth began to grind, the outline of slightly outstretched wings and the feathers brushing his neck and head made him snap.
His defensive instincts took over the more sensible part of him before he could rationalize his mind.
Tommy headbutted Phil's chin, pushed back his chair and abruptly standing up. Phil yelped at being headbutted harshly and shoved by a surprisingly tough eight year old, puffing his feathers out with his wings mid-spread.
"Tommy, what the fuck are you doing?" Phil demands in more of confusion than aggression, not censoring himself like he usually would even though all three of them knew cuss words.
The lamb hybrid didn't answer, stomping his hooves and flickering his ears, aggressively nodding his head, aiming his still growing horns in his direction.
He chuffs in agitation. The sight would've been silly and cute if it wasn't for the seriousness of it.
"Woah, woah, calm down!" Wilbur got up, his hands outstretched and tail releasing anxious energy through wags, beginning to look split in his own conflict of instincts of correcting him or protecting.
Normally he would choose protecting without hesitating, but logically, he was watching the whole time and didn't see Phil hurt him at all.
"Tommy?" Wilbur's voice sounded distant, sounding underwater. "Hey, can you hear me, buddy?"
Tommy remembers how this all happened, so very clearly and he hates it. He sort of wished he lost his memories when he was teleported here.
He escaped his exile. More so tried to. He found his brother's hide out cottage and stayed hidden for a week or so, until he was found. And everything was fine for a little while. Techno said it was okay and he'll let him stay if they would work together.
Then Techno had invited Dream in, instead of keeping Tommy hidden like he hoped. He promised he would.
And yet Techno had pulled him out of the box like he was nothing but a rodent, presenting him to his tormentor, acting so careless and nonchalant to his begging and attempted bargaining.
The two hybrid predators had then decided to play a game of tag; whoever gets the prey's last life wins.
Techno almost did, but luckily (or perhaps unluckily, since it only made him angrier) Tommy managed to kick him in the stomach and get away. His hooves gave him an advantage with his kicks, at least.
In that moment, neither of them were remotely human. They were what they were meant to be, born to be; predator and prey, pawns in the animal kingdom.
They were lost in their instincts, Techno and Dream's to kill and Tommy's to run.
(He's always the one stuck running from danger, isn't he? Always the pitiful running lamb, the wounded animal, the weak and sick one of the flock that was left behind for the predator to devour.)
Tommy hadn't felt so hunted since Dream took his first life in the tu—
No, no, no. Not that memory, not that memory.
He doesn't want to think about this anymore. No, please, subconscious, don't think about that anymore.
Wait, what is he doing?
Something, or someone, was shaking his shoulders and cradling his cheek, muffled shouting all around and frantic stomping and low canine whining. There's too many noises and touch, it was quickly getting overwhelming.
It barely registered that he was crying until he felt his tears land on the palms of his hands. They started to blur his vision. He was shaking so bad, God, why can't he stop shaking. Why does breathing have to hurt so bad?
Tommy doesn't want to be hurt again, he doesn't want to be here, with them.
He's scared. He has no idea of what's going to happen, and he hates that.
He wants Tubbo. Where is Tubbo and Ranboo? What about Ghostbur? How could he forget about them..
They must be looking for him by this point. He's not sure if he should be relieved if they are, or scared of what they'll say to him once that found out everything about him. It's a mixture of both.
He's away from his friends, he needs to go home!
He wants to go home.
Letting out a sob then a wheeze, he startled when a loud screech of a chair sliding against the wooden floor and then a sudden movement ran toward him, bleating in alarm.
A short roar was enough to make him freeze, his prey senses overloading and doing that stupid method of passing out, falling back into securing arms as everything went black.
Tommy hadn't known of the edging of a fight between Wilbur and Techno the moment the bear made him pass out.
It became tense in the atmosphere around them and the silence was deafening.
Even if it was for his own good, Wilbur couldn't shake the vicious territorial side of himself that was displeased of that pup he was meant to protect was treated like that. And right when he was at one of his most vulnerable moments.
Pulling Tommy in his arms and snapping his teeth at Phil and Techno, he backed away from them without showing his back until he was close to the stairs, breaking into a run.
Techno sucked in a sharp breath, forcing himself to turn away from Wilbur to not trigger his own instincts to chase. He flinched at the slam of a door from upstairs.
Beside him, Phil shuffled his wings and rolled his shoulders, feathers ever so slowly falling into place. He didn't say a word as he took the forgotten plates in the kitchen, a heavy frown on his face.
The silence was nearly suffocating, besides the intense scrubbing and washing of dishes, it was silent.
The Kodiak bear stood alone in the dining room, taking it all in slowly of what just happened and what he did.
Techno tried to reason with himself. He had to do what he had to do, right?
It was weird to feel this guilty, because if he hadn't stepped in, then Tommy would've gotten himself and others hurt. To hell with what Wilbur's weird puppy brain thought.
Tommy was a growing ram hybrid with instinctual anger issues and a matter of space, it was expected for him to lash out and try to attack. Thing is, that was expected to happen when he's a teenager.
Not a eight year old.
So it was more than weird with how he reacted, since a lamb is supposed to not mind touch and not pick fights that weren't playful.
Tommy had took a stance an older ram would, not one of a clumsy and inexperienced kid, as if he had done it a hundred times. He didn't falter or hint at backing down until Techno got up.
There was only one other ram hybrid that they knew, and he was close to their age, thirteen. He formed getting his anger issues not too long ago, much like how Tommy acted.
But Schlatt's was out of random hormonal tantrums about anything, Tommy's felt more serious.
Techno huffed and shook his head, deciding to ignore it for now and store it for later. He went upstairs, making sure to not make too much noise when passing by Wilbur's room, going into his own.
He wasn't oblivious to the way Tommy acted around him either.
··.🌸.··
Chapter 3
Notes:
CWs:
- touch starvation
- past noncon touching / hugging
- unhealthy eating habits
- past forced restrictions of food
- implied/referenced child neglect
- implied/referenced codependency
- unhealthy coping mechanisms
- past character death
- descriptions of fear, crying
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
..·🌸·..
Tommy woke up slowly this time.
He was in a different bed and the room surrounded him in a warm afternoon instead of a cold morning, protective caramel apple invading his senses the second he breathed in.
He felt arms wrapped around him that made him feel safe and secured, longer legs trapping his smaller ones. He couldn't try to get away even if he tried, his movements would alert them.
He opened his eyes, blinking up at the unmistakable figure of his brother, Wilbur who was sound asleep but had a slight frown.
This must be Wilbur's room, since he doesn't recognize it as the others. Tommy doesn't quite remember what his families' rooms looked like, only a couple things that they shown off to him that stuck in his memory.
A brown guitar that Wilbur usually kept in the corner, polaroid's and albums he collected; as for Techno, x a shiny golden sword decorated upon the wall and wooden figurines for Techno.
He never went in Phil's room.
(He did once, after a nightmare of their departed mother but Phil only flared his wings, face full of tears, and kicked him out. Wilbur's door just happened to be open that night. From then on, Tommy only went to his brother for comfort.)
He knew he was family, but is he supposed to be this comfortable? He may have travelled back in time, a time long before joining the server, but who's to say one of them isn't planning something against him?
But.. no, they wouldn't do that to him. They're not that smart yet. Hah.
And looking up his older brother, he realized just how much he yearned to change the past and be someone better, to help more and show more love than passive aggression.
He's always been wanting to help more since Doomsday happened, it's just.. no one really liked him that much anymore and he was too scared to mess up again and make things worse.
Like with Niki.
He wanted to help her but just didn't know how, no one ever taught him how to mend a broken heart. No one ever taught him how to fix his own either.
And now she hates him for not helping Wilbur and making him die, even though Tommy did the best he could. He saw the fire in her eyes whenever she looks at him before he was exiled.
He doesn't blame her though. He missed Wilbur too. His eyes watered and he just stared up at the oblivious dog hybrid with sadness and nostalgia.
He misses him so much, and now he's here. The brother he knew and loved unconditionally, not the one in Pogtopia who he feared, was here holding him just like he used to.
This was the Wilbur who was buried away from everyone, a ghost of his soul replacing him, someone that wasn't him but just a scrapped nutshell of his past.
Wilbur always had some 'craziness' in him since childhood, but Tommy hadn't thought that it would cause that much destruction when they're older. He went to therapy for almost five years just before they left for the server.
He thought he was better, Wilbur said he was better. He didn't steal cigarettes from dad anymore and he controlled his temper. Tommy thought those were good signs.
Maybe he should've pressed more until he told the truth? Was there anything he could've done to help?
The overthinking boy turned his attention back to the present when the older boy shifted. He was waking up, perhaps feeling the pair of eyes on him.
His eyes slowly opened and he look down at Tommy, instantly softening and his voice rumbling low. "Why hello there, how are you feeling?" His words were spoken delicately as if the lamb would break at any moment.
And in a way, that was correct.
Tommy subconsciously whines, feeling almost overwhelmed at the sudden reunion of his herd. Wilbur sleepily coos and gently cradles his cheek with his hand, the blonde leaning into the warmth this time, a single tear falling from his right eye.
Tommy's been waiting and crying for so long, yearning for his protectors to find him and comfort him and to teach him how to be strong again, and for his herd leader to lead him back home.
He wanted his herd, his family, his sole purpose of loving.
He's been stuck in the same routine of heartbreak on that damned island, damaged and abandoned, that he almost forgotten what it felt like to be cared for and loved.
Tommy's herd was finally back together, he should be happy. He should be using all his time with them carefully and not waste it a bit.
This was his chance at making everything better and having a better life, a better family that doesn't leave him in the end heartbroken and bruised.
But.. why does his heart still hurt so much?
Why doesn't he feel complete and happy like he's supposed to? Why does it still hurt and scare him so much to look at them, even if they hadn't done anything to him yet?
Tommy hiccups a bleat, curling further into himself and gripping the yellow sweater that belonged to Wilbur. His brother that was supposed to be dead. He spent multiple holidays and two birthdays alone, mourning the loss of him.
And yet here he was, right in front of him with a beating heart and warm, healthy skin instead of having hallow white eyes and grey, cold skin.
This was real, he was real. It wasn't a dream or the trickery of one of his illusions, he was truly here.
Even if the face expressions and raise of voice Wilbur sometimes does makes still scare him and makes him weary, Tommy never wants this to end. He doesn't want to lose him again.
"Please don't leave me again.." Tommy mournfully pleads, frowning as more tears began to slid down and dampening the sheets. He couldn't stop the words coming out his mouth as he cries. He just couldn't stop them. "Please... I-I'm sorry for not being m-made right, please don't go—"
Wilbur immediately answers his cries with a confused and sadden expression, wiping some of his tears away with his thumb. "Hey, don't- don't apologize. Why are you apologizing? Tommy, you didn't do anything wrong."
"But I have..!" He insisted, gripping desperately Wilbur's hand resting on his face. His baby blue orbs dimming the slightest bit, going unnoticed. "I disobeyed a-and let you die by his hands! I-I should've stayed with you!"
Wilbur shook his head with a couple sympathetic tears peaking at the corners of his eyes, gently brushing his other hand through the blonde's hair. "What? No, I didn't die Tom, I'm still here. You must've had a really bad nightmare.. You have to calm down, it wasn't real, I promise."
But it was real. Everything was real, even if he hoped it wasn't.
He knew it was, but this Wilbur didn't.
The lamb slowly decreased his crying and lowered his gaze, realizing that he couldn't tell anyone the truth or else things might get worse. It was no use crying any longer.
They wouldn't believe him anyway.
They never did.
He nods mutely and curls up closer, resting his head against his chest and stiffly wiping away his tears. All the crying made him tired again. Curse this weak child body.
Wilbur rewraps his arms around him and puts his chin on his head, instinctively scenting the younger. Tommy was too drained to pull away, so he laid still, but still felt a little uncomfortable with the scenting.
but yet Tommy still felt hallow and sad deep in his heart. At least his company brought him a some comfort.
He wasn't suffering alone this time, even if Wilbur doesn't understand.
***
It was around 1PM when Wilbur had decided it was time for them to get up, being 'encouraged' by Technoblade as he stood in the doorway with an annoyed attitude, displeased that they get to sleep longer than he can.
(Tommy had stiffen up and wouldn't speak at all the whole time Techno was there. He didn't dare to meet the bear's gaze, keeping his wide eyes on his own hands clenched in Wilbur's sweater. All he could think about is the roughness of his giant paws as they dragged him out of his hiding place.)
Wilbur had left the bed to take a shower so Tommy reluctantly got up too and went to his room to change clothes, still trying to wrap his mind around everything as he walks downstairs.
He didn't have his iconic shirt yet at this age, so he just chose to wear dark brown shorts and a nice blue sweater with 'club sundays' on it with two colorful smiley face stick characters.
He tried to ignore how it distantly reminded him of Dream. He heard exposure therapy sometimes works, so why not try it a bit?
Techno must be in his room since he was no where to be seen, only a lonesome avian watching T.V on the couch. He hadn't spoken anything or made any sound besides the quiet creeks of the stairs, but Phil already knew it was him when he greeted him without turning his head away.
"Good afternoon Tommy," He said. "Did you enjoy your nap?"
Tommy blinked, standing awkwardly in the doorway.
He heard Phil call out, and he blinked variously before humming questioningly. "Are you feeling okay? You've been acting all jumpy and quiet today, unlike the hyper little boy we know and love."
"Uh, yeah. I'm okay." He answers despite himself, fidgeting with the ends of his sleeves as he makes his way closer to the couch.
He was hesitant to get close to Phil, as he can still remember the shouting and scolding he used to give him whenever he sat close for too long, even if he just wanted a hug or to curl up next to his dad. But he knew better. Phil stopped being physically affectionate ever since their mom passed.
"Are you okay enough to run an errand for me tomorrow?"
It was only ever rarely when he would pat him on the head or hold his hand. Even then it would be too rough or forceful on both ends and felt uncomfortable to Tommy.
"Hey. Answer me." Philza's stern voice cut through his thoughts, and he snapped his eyes over to meet unreadable blue iris' that almost matched his own. Ones that made him wish he had his mother's.
He felt his skin crawl, swallowing down a bleat. An instinctual call for help. He had to stop it from slipping out before Phil would get mad. Plus Wilbur was in the shower and it would be scarring to see him stumble out to respond to it.
"I asked if you could do something for me when you visit Niki tomorrow. Could you bring back my order of bread?" Phil said, glancing between him and whatever was playing on the TV. Some British guy shouting about cooking wrong.
Tommy nodded and tried to appear untethered as his dad nods back before turning his attention completely away. A signal that the conversation was over.
'He's just grieving. He doesn't mean anything he says, he's just grieving,' Tommy thought sadly as he backed away, looking behind him at the back of Phil's head with pursed lips. 'But I'm grieving too and I don't do that.'
'What am I saying? I'm a bad lair. I do that too.'
His stomach felt empty, he suddenly realized he's been hungry this whole time. He didn't know the last time he ate a full meal. No more time to dwell on Phil.
Walking to the kitchen, trying to be as quiet as he could to not disturb his dad, he tries to remember which cabinet has the snacks he likes.
Dream didn't like it when he ate too much food... so Tommy just took a snack bar and went back upstairs.
As he past the bathroom door, the shower was still running and Wilbur's room was left open. That means he was alone still. (No one to protect him from the monsters.)
He naturally drifted to the far wall when he passed Techno's room and quickened his pace past Phil's room. Not so fun having a room at the end of the hall and farthest from the stairs.
Tommy notes to himself that he needs to make easier escape routes. Just in case.
He shuts the door and crawls on his bed, sitting up against the headboard and nibbling on his snack.
His eye catches the sight of a picture frame he hadn't noticed before, one of him and young Tubbo smiling so big and happy. Both of their tooth was missing in the front and they held those mini plastic tooth treasure boxes proudly.
Tommy pauses, staring nostalgic at the old photo. He misses Tubbo.
He hopes he's okay.
··.🌸.··
Notes:
I hope you're ready to see Niki and Tommy moments :)
Chapter 4
Notes:
CWs:
- touch starvation
- emotional child neglect
- tommy blaming himself as usual
- mentioned explosions, past forced restrictions of food
- referenced past child abuse
- mild overstimulation
Chapter Text
..·🌸·..
Dinner was awkward as it could be. It always has been back then.
When Phil was taking a double shift at work or on some adventure, it wasn't awkward. It was chaotic and fun, but when he is around everyone is walking on eggshells. Or in Wilbur's case: stomping on them.
Anything could set that man off into him scolding you. All three of them were victim to it at a point of their lives. Since Wilbur couldn't keep his opinions to himself, his scoldings mostly lead to shouting matches.
Tommy felt like he was being eyed the whole time. By who? He had no fucking clue. It painfully reminded him of always having eyes on his back when Dream would visit him in exile. Even when he was gone he still felt watched and judged.
It made his skin crawl and heart beat faster, his slightly damaged ears instinctively straining as best they could to be on the look out for any movement near him.
Though all they heard was the usual feedback and utensils hitting glass and chewing. He hated those sounds.
Tommy kept his gaze locked on his plate of spaghetti the entire time, only ever glancing up towards Wilbur when being addressed, who always sat next to him. Unfortunately that also meant Tommy's ears suffered when fighting starts.
(He hadn't eaten much of his dinner since he wasn't used to such large proportions anymore. He got full quicker than normal, just thinking of taking another bite made him nauseous. His plate was a far cry of change from the rations he gotten before.)
(It was strange not being given the nod from Dream to start eating. He tried his best to keep his face neutral to hide his internal conflict.)
As much as Wilbur disliked their family dinners, he still tried to keep up a flow of conversation for as long as he could. Maybe it was like an subconscious attempt at making everything to appear normal and fine. He's not sure if Wilbur himself knew he did that.
Their family was far from normal and fine. Their father was absent and irresponsible. His children didn't turn out so chipper either.
It's a wonder of how no one else had figured that out yet.
***
Last night, Tommy went to bed alone in his own room, It was surprisingly easy to fall asleep despite his current circumstances. Yet, when he woke, he found Wilbur sleeping next to him, like he was meant to be there.
He hadn't heard him open his door last night nor felt a whole ass body heater suddenly appear next to him. You'd think having animal hearing would benefit in times like these.
He must've had a nightmare or a dream concerning him, like he used to back then in Pogtopia days. Wilbur would seek his comfort in the coldest of nights. But he stopped doing that a few weeks after he started to become paranoid that everyone was out to get him.
Tommy had two options; either stay in bed until Wilbur would be awake, or get a head start on the day. And as much as Tom loves not doing anything all day and staying in bed, he was getting kinda hungry so he chose the latter.
He slowly got out of Wilbur's grasp, grinning at the loud snore he made. He replaced himself with one of his pillows and went downstairs.
It was quiet downstairs, and when he reached the bottom, he saw no one was there. That meant Phil was at work. Technoblade was practically a hibernating bear when it came to sleep, so he didn't have to worry about him neither.
Tommy's mood lightened up and he went to the kitchen. He opened the fridge to get the milk, standing up on his tippy toes to grab the cereal on top of the fridge, and doing the same with getting a bowl from the top cabinet.
He pours the cereal in the bowl first, since he wasn't a criminal, and then poured the milk. He grabs a spoon slowly from the tableware drawer, making sure not to make so much noise to alarm his sleeping brothers.
He hadn't thought of it before but he really missed the taste of cereal. He sort of gotten so used to eating stale bread and bits of steak in exile.
Tommy places his bowl on the dinner table and opens all the downstairs curtains, eyes adjusting at being exposed to light. He hums in satisfaction and sits down in his signature chair, calmly eating his fruity pebbles.
What a lovely morning.
***
Some time passed and Tommy finished his cereal, placing the bowl in the sink, wincing when it made a loud clank. So much for keeping quiet.
He headed back upstairs, cursing Phil and his choice to get a house with wooden tiles, his hooves clicking as he walked.
Tommy hadn't forgotten about Wilbur's plans with him, so he has to brush his teeth and take a shower. He went to the bathroom and quickly brushed his teeth, trying to ignore his reflection and kept his head down the whole time he was in front of the sink.
He really doesn't want to be reminded of his disappointing life in the future so early in the morning.
The body he was in looked so innocent, small and unscarred from the trauma he was soon to go through after his 15th birthday. It was weird to think about so he tried not to.
Sometimes, he finds himself waiting for everything to be a false sense of security and a lie and wake up, lying on the Nether floor with Dream and Technoblade towering over him with their weapons raised, and nothing had really changed and he was still stuck in that hell hole.
It's been three days and it hasn't happened yet, so he thinks he's good so far to still assume this is real.
He went back to his room and climbed back into bed, seeing that Wilbur had moved his position in his sleep.
The pillow Tommy replaced himself with was being held in one arm while the other arm and tail was hanging of the bed, he laid on his back and his body was horizontal.
Snoring came from his slightly parted lips, once a upon a time being a reason Tommy used to not like sharing a bed with Wilbur. He hadn't heard his familiar yet annoying snoring since Pogtopia era, even then it was only sometimes when he successfully convinced him to sleep.
Tommy sat up against his headboard and placed himself under the covers comfortably, silently stared at the brunette teenager and flickering his gaze over the smallest bit of details on his face.
Lost in his reminiscing thoughts, a faint twitch of a smile perking the corners of his lips up.
He hated quiet mornings ever since exile, the feedback in his ears and the absence of another always getting to him, along with his cold sheets and empty home. Explosions were never good for the ear, especially if they get too close.
But he found that he didn't quite mind them right now, and if his mornings would be as peaceful as this one, then he might just like them again. It wasn't so cold or lonely here.
Tommy became alert when Wilbur began to shift, his floppy ears parking in his direction as a the older boy groaned as he sluggishly opened his eyes. He blinked and looked around, messy hair in his face.
Wilbur locked eyes with him and almost immediately a smile grew on his face, his tail lazily wagging, a sleepy chuckle coming from him. "You look creepy. Good morning, gremlin."
"A'yup." Tommy responded, watching the shepherd as he rolled off the bed and ironically stretched like a cat. "When are we going to see Niki?"
"Uhh, I'd say we should leave in the afternoon, so like, around one?" Wilbur hummed, sitting back down at the edge of the bed. "The village should be less rowdy by then."
He nodded silently, following after him as they went downstairs.
They then spent the spare time they had just goofing around, Wilbur ate cereal while they sat together on the couch watching cartoons. Wilbur was surprised when he found out he already ate and brushed his teeth, giving him a ruffle of his hair and a praise.
Tommy was then forced to take a bath, which was an embarrassing nightmare. To Wilbur, he was uncharacteristically more quiet and didn't complain, looking awkward sitting in the water the whole time, instead of being grumpy and trying to splash water on his clothes.
Wilbur didn't think much of it and simply thought he was still sleepy from waking up early. He made sure he wasn't cold after drying him off, so very gently patting his lamb ears and tail and nubs of horns, giving him his clothes before he went off to take a shower.
Tommy got dressed in a yellow sweater, reminding him briefly of Ghostbur. He wore navy blue overalls over it, a heart stitched a little crooked on the chest pocket. He doesn't remember where who did it.
Tommy hadn't really known what to do with himself then, so he went back downstairs and sat down in front of one of the windows, watching squirrels climb the tall forest trees and the sun rays wash over everything as the leaves gently sway.
'It's so different from exile.. so much more pretty.' Tommy had thought, placing his head on his arms that rested on the windowsill, almost in tranquility.
A butterfly caught his eye, and he hid his smile, partly embarrassed that a such a small thing could make him so happy.
He hasn't seen butterflies in a while.
Soon it was already time for them to leave. The moment where he'll see Niki from the past finally hitting him and he began to grow nervous and fidget.
It's been a while since they had last spoke, Doomsday being the thing to officially divide them despite him wanting so badly to stay friends.
But he never knew how to, realizing the only thing that bounded them together in the first place had been Wilbur, and now that he's gone, it was like seeing a completely new and different person.
Maybe that was his fault for not making an effort to reach out and get to know her more. Then again, they were all in the middle of fighting wars.
Tommy was a mess of a young teenager, always preparing for a battle and always on the run. He had no elder ram to teach him how to control his temper and instincts, not anymore.
He barely had friends from the start, and when he does, they never last long.
Niki and him weren't the number one best of friends but they cared for each other mutually. He had always loved her nice personality and all of her talents, no matter what he had said in the past.
Tommy wishes he never forgotten about her.
***
Wilbur was going to help him tie his shoelaces but Tommy had already beaten him to it, tying them fluently and with little struggle. "When did you learn how to do that?" Wilbur had asked with a raise brow.
Tommy looked a little startled and looked away, quickly making up an excuse. "I've been practicing, it's easy to remember now."
Wilbur hummed, impressed. "Good job." He grinned, lifting up his reading glasses. He wears them when reading books, watching the news, or going to the village's shops to be 'aesthetic' or whatever. He thinks he looks like a nerd.
Ghostbur worn them all the time though, never would take them off. Maybe he couldn't.
Wilbur took his hand and they walked out the door, making sure to lock it behind them with his copy of keys. They did bother leaving a note for the still sleeping bear in the house, as he already knew from yesterday.
They made their way through the forest on the gravel path to the village. At some point Wilbur picked Tommy up after he almost got left behind in the crowd.
Tommy had huffed and looked away, still not used to being carried around by his past family members again.
Tommy had loved hugs ever since he was little. Even if Pogtopia and exile ruined it for him a bit, he still craved them but sadly no one was willing to give him one. You could say he was touch starved at this point.
"Look, we're here Toms!" Wilbur's enthusiast cheer pulled him out of his thoughts, making him turn his head. It was a small bakery that was decorated with pretty pastels. It had a logo of a cartoon-ish smiling octopus with a light blue frosted cupcake for a hat.
He didn't get to read the bakery's name as Wilbur was already taking him inside, a bell shortly ringing above them as he opened the door. There was few people already in there, scattered about in tables and barely sparing them a glance.
A familiar feminine voice greets them cheerfully, "Wilbur, Tommy! Hi, welcome back. It's nice to see you again."
Niki smiled at them with a wave, standing behind the counter in a pink apron that had the bakery logo on the front. She looked so much younger, her hair not yet dyed and she wore circular glasses. Her feline ears were perked up, her thin and mildly fluffy tail swishing slowly behind her.
"Hi Niki! How is everything going? It's been a few weeks since we've visited." Wilbur said, putting Tommy down.
The blonde lamb peaked over the counter on his tippy toes, relieved to get a break from the grabby canine.
Niki shrugged, her smile never wavering, unlike the last Tommy had seen of her. "It's the usual. I love baking but my hands get tired quickly. At least my mom is letting me have tomorrow off, so maybe Jack and Tommy can have a playdate?"
"That'd be awesome! Tommy needs to spend more time with friends. I swear, he's starting to become like Techno." Wilbur snickers, Niki chuckling along with him.
And all Tommy could do is stare in awe up at her, not speaking and just listening to their conversation with mild nostalgia.
If he ignored all the major changes that happened over his lifetime, he would think that everything is the same and Doomsday never happened and everyone was still happy.
He wished Niki could still be happy. He hopes he didn't ruin it. He hopes she still cares for him. He looked up to her like she was his big sister, he never had a sister and it made her feel more special in his heart.
(That had to be wishful thinking. It was too good to be true, he would be gullible if he thought someone like her could love someone like him. That's what Dream would say...
Since when did he start caring for his opinion?)
"Speaking of which, where is Jack?" Wilbur asked while looking around.
Niki looked around with him too, her lips pursed, ears going back for a moment. "He should be around here somewhere-"
The lamb amongst them bleats loudly as something crashed into him while screaming in his ear. "TOMMY!" He recognized that accent anywhere, even if it's now high pitched and young.
"'Ello Jack." Tommy grumbled, his cheeks tinting red as both of their older siblings laughed at them. He forgot how hyper and clingy Jack used to be.
Jack is two years older than him but he was always just as childish and playful as he was, matching his energy and causing loud chaos amongst everyone. Normally younger Tommy would headbutt and jumped around playfully when Jack was there, his lamb mindset seeing him as a playmate.
When L'manburg was made their friendship hadn't change. Until the second destruction of it, though, was when Jack had stopped talking to him. Their conversations started to overlap with arguments.
Tommy didn't know why, but he was just too good at adding gasoline to the flame.
"Don't be too rough, Jack, you know Tommy is smaller than you. You can't scare him too much." Niki scolded after calming down.
Tommy felt slightly offended, but then realized how right she was. He was three inches shorter than him and was a faint risk lamb. Damn it. Why couldn't he be a dog like Wilbur.
Suddenly he perked back up, tugging at Wilbur's hand. "Uh, yesterday Phil told me to pick up an order for him here."
"He did?"
"Oh! I remember him placing an order yesterday morning, it was bread right?" Niki said, leaning back from the counter. With Tommy's nod of confirmation, she went to the back. "I'll get it for you."
They could hear her still in the other room because of the open door. "It's right... here!" She came back with a whole bread wrapped in thin plastic and a red ribbon bow, sitting in a wooden basket. She placed it on the counter and dusted off her hands.
"Neat! Thanks Niki. Did my dad pay already?" Wilbur asks, taking the basket.
"Yes, he did." She said with a nod, before turning back to her younger brother. "Hey Jack, how do you feel about having a playdate with Tommy tomorrow?"
"I'm too old for play dates!" Jack protested.
He's also too old to be pretending to be a robot, but oh well. Tommy can play along for this one.
··.🌸.··
Chapter 5: Author's Notice!
Chapter Text
Hello, author speaking!
I am here to say that I will be doing heavily editing on this story, cause I have grown not comfortable with writing CCs in this type of universe. Not that I am uncomfortable with A/B/O dynamics itself, just combining dsmp and that is not ideal anymore.
I won't delete this or anything, I will just be making this a predator & prey hybrid AU instead, which I already have ideas for!!
I will delete this chapter when I am finished :>
Chapter 6: Important Author's Note
Notes:
TRIGGER WARNING:
domestic abuse, child abuse, cc!Wilbur
Chapter Text
Alright, I'm going to make this as straight to the point as I can. I am sure you all know about Shubble coming out about her abuser, and earlier today, it is now confirmed by Wilbur that it was him.
I am no longer going to write Wilbur's dsmp or qsmp character in a positive light, if at all, in the future. I don't support Wilbur, or anyone that defends him.
I am most likely not going to ever write his character again and only mention him, and I will wrap up any of my stories that have him as an main character. I don't know if I should delete/orphan my old fics about him (2021-2022) or if I should just leave them be since they're done with anyway.
I am a bit disappointed my plans had crumbled because another Minecraft youtuber guy can't be a decent person, but I'll manage. I will either post a final chapter to this fic that shows what it was supposed to be, or maybe I could just write out c!Wilbur and continue it without him? I don't know yet.
I was genuinely excited to write this fic, along with others that I had planned months for ://
I won't go into a rant of how much he 'meant to me' or some other thing. I'm sure any other SBI fan gets it anyway. I will say that I grew up with Shubble's content, she was one of my favorites when I was younger. I would watch her videos and be happy to hear her chipper voice, because it was anything but loud and mean. She was a nice person, she still is, and that was someone I wanted to grow up into. I will always be loyal to her even if I haven't watched her videos in several years. I stand by her. I was heartbroken when I found out someone I looked up to went through a horrible thing too.
As for Wilbur.. I could go on with insults. That 'apology' of his was bullshit, and I even didn't bother to read it past the first sentence. I know enough from everyone else's reactions it isn't worth my time. I don't think he's change, or he'll ever change. Take it from me, people like Wilbur never do.
Edit/Update:
I have made a basically OC in replacement for c!Wilbur, some stories with have somewhat same lore that was set up for him, but I changed his most of his characteristics and backstory enough. His new name is Wyatt
If i continue this story, I will just change Wilbur's name to Wyatt, as I've done with all my other current works in progress.
I also have a new name for c!Dream, so I will start replacing that with Damion.