Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Everything absolutely sucks forever.

I repeated this over and over again in my head as I fitfully threw on my hoodie, my hair going in ever direction as I pulled it down over my body. 
"Maybe I never fucking wanted to work here anyway!", I spat over my shoulder as I slid my work card into the slot. With a beep, I threw open the door and bolted outside, the rush of cold city air mixing with the scent of coffee.
I inhaled it, letting it fill the deepest parts of me, seeming to bring me back to life. The biggest smile leapt out onto my face, for the stars were shining bright.
Believe it or not, my boss was being a dick again! The biggest dick. The fattest cock. A premium, Grade-A throbbing member of the ages! 

Basically, he wasn't being cool.

Just to be clear, I come back the next day and I'm pretty sure they just forget that they've fired me most of the time. 
A hella fucking solid way to run a business, if you ask me.

That old coffee shop was gonna be the death of me.
Seriously, I'll probably straight up fucking die there! One day I'll be making a coconut mint mocha and the next minute I'll be cleaning satans toenails.

A sigh escaped my lips as I slowed my pace, walking along the shitty big city alleyways. I looked down just in time to stumble and nearly take a spill over a protruding stone.
All my friends have said that maybe if I didn't wear shades 24/7, I wouldn't be so fucking clumsy. 
But hey! To achieve maximum cool, a dude has to embody that shit. Plus, they're just super cool.

I recover from the stumble, the rip in my tattered old red chucks growing bigger seemingly everyday.
I would probably die wearing these things, too.

It wasn't long before the peeling door of my apartment came into view, the paint flaking off leaving the 1950's scattered around my doorstep.
I snickered as I trotted up to the gateway of my domain, fumbling for the key in my pocket. 
I suddenly got very worried, like something behind me was about to snatch me. I dug for the key even faster, a sense of panic rising in me! What the fuck, where's the fucking key!!
My heart beats with that of a thousand bass drums as I jam the key in the lock and swing open the door in one quick motion, slamming it behind me and gasping for air in relief.
Anxiety really fucking blows.

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Shoes kicked off in a corner, I snuggled up with some tea as a record slowly spun on my turntable. I smiled and let out a breath as I looked around my one-room apartment.
The couch I lived on, broken spring and all, was a sight to behold after a long day making skinny latte's for hipsters.
No, don't you dare fucking call me a hipster. If anything, the vinyl is ironic!


I sigh, wanting worse than anything to come home to someone.
To not have to panic every time I have my back turned toward the dark.
My tea set aside, I begin to nod off with the sound of soft crackles in my ear.

'Cuz Striders just fucking like it that way.

Chapter Text

The world returns to me in a flurry of confused gasps as my eyes flow open, sitting bolt upright and grasping my chest while gulps of air filled me. 
What the fuck! It's only 7 in the goddamn morning and i'm already having a motherfucking anxiety attack. Do I ever get a fucking break? It feels like some old asshole telling you to pay taxes and get a job over and over again.
I mean what the fuck old man? When you were in your early twenties, you could get any job you wanted. Get away from my lemonade stand, where's your fucking shuffleboard buddies? Asshole.

Wait, wait. Hold the fuck up. 
7 AM?

HOLY SHIT.

I'm supposed to be at work right fucking now!

I leap off the couch, tripping over the blanket as I fly to my beatdown bathroom. I was in and out of the shower in record time, my hair slinging water in every which fucking direction.
Sliding into the living room again, I took a moment to calmly and safely put away my record. I mean, come on! You gotta handle those things with care dude. Sheesh!
I threw some Klonopin down my throat as I pulled on some pants. Who the fuck decided those were mandatory? You know how much other stuff I could buy if I didn't have to buy pants?
A lot of other shit, dude. I could probably afford to eat something else besides ramen noodles. I mean, yeah, they're fucking good! But when you eat them most every night they get old real fast.

The next thing I knew, I was out the door and sprinting down the alleyways of the city. 

The only thing I really took time to notice was the dark figure standing in the alley across from my door.

Worrying about this could come later though, because suddenly my sprinting came to a complete halt as I hit a patch of black fucking ice.

godfuckingdammitOUCHmotherfuckingSHITfuckmethisbullshitWOOAHohgodHELLYES.

The cafe came into view as I safely navigated the ice field from hell.
Hell yeah, that's some fucking irony.
I barreled through the door to the looming stares of my coworker. Vriska looked like she couldn't hold back her laughter much longer, her face red with the pain of holding it back.
My sighs were huge as I thought I was in the clear.

But I guess I failed to see my boss, Gamzee, sauntering toward me.

Just I started to clock in, he grabbed me by the scruff of neck, holding me up against the wall, threatening to punch a hole in it.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID I TELL YOU ABOUT BEING LATE, MOTHERFUCKER!!" His eyes told stories of rage as he stared into mine, and suddenly I wished I could die.
His leather jacket told stories of addiction and hate, the multiple scratches and tears striking fear in me.
I thought for certain he was gonna kill me, but he just put me down! Like, he just sat me down! Right there and then. Without slapping me or punching me or anything!
Was he ok? There was no way he could be ok. He wasn't ok.

I looked up at him to find him chuckling while digging in his jean pocket, pulling out a cigarette and placing it in his mouth.

"You're lucky I'm in such a good fucking mood today, bro. Get to work, and don't take a fucking break today or I swear to god you'll be seeing shit into next week!"
He smiled his sickly sweet smile and leapt out the door, a blast of cold air hitting me in the face.

And all I could do was stand there, too stunned to move.

Did.
Did that actually just fucking happen?
Did that shit actually take place? Like, I didn't get fake fired? He didn't punch me?
Holy fuck.
This may just be the best fucking day ever. This is an omen of things to come. Of glorious things to come. 
It's a beautiful day and no shit is standing in my way. Hell yeah.

I strolled over to grab my apron, Vriskas mouth hanging wide open as she watched me.
She felt it too.

"Ok, what the fuck just happened?" Her words fell sharply.

"You wanna know what the fuck just happened? A miracle. A motherfucking miracle."
I shuttered. That sounded like something Gamezee would say and it made me sick.

"Is God kissing your fucking ass?" She turned around and continued to pour coffee grounds into the machines, swirling cream onto latte's. 

My apron read 'Barista Bro' in big pink letters. 
I'm just hardcore like that.

"Probably, dude!" My legs were still shaky as I washed my hands, turning toward the cash register to serve some customers.
I took the first order, shouting 'macchiato' back at her.
"I mean, when hasn't he hit me for being late?"

I took the next guys order, a galão.

Who the fuck even orders those anymore? Like why don't you just drink a glass of milk dude. That's all it fucking is. Hell, even better, you could just drink some chocolate milk.
It's basically the same thing. I could go in the back and pour you a glass of milk and you wouldn't know the fucking difference. You're just a fucking hipster who doesn't even
like coffee. We have tea too, assfuck! Geeze.

I hand him is "coffee" and turn back to Vriska.

"Anyway, how did that date go yesterday?"

Vriska liked to get around, and there wasn't a thing wrong with that! Her crazy stories kept these long hours fun. 
I considered her an old friend even though I'm pretty sure she hated my guts.

"Oh, he was a total drag man. The first warning sign was he had on a fucking fedora. He had the fucking audacity to leave the house wearing that shit."
She laughed and rolled her eyes as she turned to me.
"Besides, he had a pencil dick too."
She held up her pinky and winked at me.

I busted out laughing, smiling super wide as I imagined the scene. 

I heard the bell to the door ring, turning around and preparing to serve the next asshole.

But instead of some asshole, some kid clad in blue walked in the door.
And with that, he took my breath away.
His black jeans and sweater that seemed way too big for him just made me stare longer.
I closed my mouth and felt the blush grow on my face as he walked up to the counter.
His smile was as bright as a star, and his presence felt celestial.
He took my mind away for a second.

"Hey there! Can I get a cup of green tea, please?" He smiled wide at me and I melted. 
I couldn't do this, he was too cute. His dimples were killing me. I tried to punch in the order
on the cash register but I just couldn't do it. I opened my mouth to say something, anything!

"Uuuh, cool!" I smiled at him and laughed.
I felt like vomiting. What the fuck was going on? 
"S-sure thing cool dude!" I winked at him, which of course he couldn't see on account of my shades.
He laughed boldly, sliding a 5 my way as he went to sit down.
"Thanks, dude." He giggled over his shoulder.

I stood there planted.
He was too much for me.

Chapter Text

      I felt my face grow hot as I watched him walk away, turning around swiftly to hide my face. What fucking right did he have? Coming in here, with his crystal eyes and perfect laugh? 
Who the fuck does he think he is? What a fucking asshole! Apparently I was muttering to myself when Vriska strolled up to me with that smug douchebag look on her face.
     
     "Soooooo, who's that kid?" She snickered at me, drinking in my obvious embarrassment.
     "None of your fucking business, that's who!"

     I wheeled around and stumbled to grab a mug, trying to convince myself that what everyone knew was happening wasn't happening. 
     
     "Do you even know his name?" Vriska was relentless, still right on my heels as I poured boiling water into the cup and grabbed a tea bag.
     "No, not yet at least! What do you care anyway?" The steam fogged up my shades as I picked it up and shoved past her.

     Vriska's words swirled in my head as I walked past the counter toward the boy who I'm afraid I may have a crush on. What am I, some kind of fucking sap? I've only know about him
for like 15 minutes? He's probably just another asshole hipster. But those eyes just say so much more than that...

Ok, really, what the fuck am I saying?!

I feel myself growing a bit weaker as I approach his table, his eyes busy with his phone screen. He's just another customer, some dumb university kid who doesn't care about anyone but himself.
No matter how much I try to shake the thought out of my head, something about this boy just seemed so brand new.

    "H-hey! Here's your tea, dude!" 

He looked up from his phone, his eyes seeming to brighten a bit as he saw me and the tea. My heart literally skipped a beat.

    "Hey thanks!" He slipped it from my hands as he smiled at me, tilting his head a bit as he ripped into the paper holding the tea bag.
    "So, what's with the goofy sunglasses" He giggled at me as he dropped the tea bag in the water.

You could fry a fucking egg on my face at this point.

    "Oh! Y'know, just dumb ol' shades!" I smiled at him as I pushed the shades further up my face.

My stomach was quickly becoming a butterfly garden.

    "Well, thanks for the tea, shades!" He winked at me and turned to add some sugar to his brew.

I almost collapsed right there and then.

    "R-rad! You're welcome!" The words just spilled out of my mouth.

I spun around and hastily made my way back to the counter to the face of an eager Vriska.

    "You have a fucking crush on him, oh my god!" Her entire face was lit up as I shuffled past her. The butterflies in my stomach were going absolute crazy.
    "Did you get his name, at least? Dude, you're practically radiating love. Oh my god, how long before you buck up and talk to him?" 

    "He called me shades" was all I managed to get out. 

Vriska looked at me for a second before bursting into a laugh so loud they probably could have heard it next door. 

    "Oh my god, you fucking blew it dude." She wiped tears from her eyes as she propped herself on the counter next to me.

    "Shut up, dude. Maybe he liked me? Who wouldn't? I'm a pretty cool dude." I wish I could just believe my own words, but my cool kid image was too important.

     Not too much time later, the mysterious blue boy got up and left, his messenger back in tow. I sighed as I watched him go, thinking about I probably missed my chance. 
What chance would I have with a guy like that anyway? I'm just Dave, some confused dude who likes music and skateboarding. What would he see in me? I always try and keep up 
this facade but the second someone challenges it, the whole thing crumbles like a cookie. What would he ever find in me?

I went to pick up his cup and noticed a slip of paper under it. 

As I read it, my stomach fell through the floor. Hell, if fell through the world. It was at the fucking south pole by now.

It was his phone number with the words "I actually love your shades" written near it.

In that moment, I knew this was just the start of something so much bigger than ourselves.