Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Don’t bro me

Yuyu

HELP

I am about to DIE

Mingles

Die die or just kinda die?

Yuyu

MINGI HELP

Mingles

Are you ok?

Yuyu

NO 😭

I saw someone so pretty I almost started crying

I think I’m actually tearing up what the fuck

Mingles

This is not news…

Yuyu

No BUT

I think he’s flirting?????????

Mingi a pretty man is winking at me what do I do

First he makes me cry and then he does this and I think I’m short circuiting I am not built for this!!!

Mingles

So you’re telling me

A guy winked at you and you’re reduced to tears and malfunction?

Yuyu

YES

Mingles

You’re a disaster

Yuyu

And you’re not helping!

You don’t understand!!!!!

He’s PRETTY

Mingles

What can I even do???

Yuyu

Come pick me up 😭

I need a distraction before he thinks I’m insane!

Mingles

Chill I’ll be there

Close your eyes or something

Yuyu

That doesn’t make him leave!

Not that I want him to leave!! But!!

Mingles

I know

Don’t do anything stupid until I’m there

So I can at least witness it and remind you for the rest of eternity

Yuyu

You’re the worst

***

Three dinguses of government 

Yeosang✨

Omg 

I think I just broke a guy

San⛰️

What did you do..

Yeosang✨

I looked at him

Might have winked once

He’s hot

He’s also looking like he’s about to cry and jump into the void

Wooyoung🔪

Lol

San⛰️

Sangie

Yeosang✨

What???

He is hot!

What was I supposed to do? Not look at him??

Wooyoung🔪

Did you try to talk to him?

Yeosang✨

Didn’t get to that yet

I’m not sure how to start

How do you politely ask someone if you can climb them like a tree?

San⛰️

Not breaking them is a good start

Yeosang✨

I literally breathed in his direction??? Closed one eye once???

Wooyoung🔪

Aaand judging from the reaction it was enough to break the poor guy 😂

Do we know him?

Yeosang✨

I don’t know, do we?

I’ve seen him a couple times I think?

San⛰️

Sangie

Description! We’re not there!

Yeosang✨

Oh yeah

Umm

Hot

Tall

Hot

San⛰️

A little more specific maybe?

We’re still not there

Wooyoung🔪

He’s in thirst mode San

You can’t expect him to make good observations when he’s horny

San⛰️

That would imply he’s never making good observations

Wooyoung🔪

🤷

Yeosang✨

Get fucked

Idk what to tell you

He’s tall and hot and expensive looking

His shoes probably cost more than my life

Wooyoung🔪

Oooooo sugar daddy? Get it!

San⛰️

Or just someone who has more than three coins in their wallet

It’s Yeosang we’re talking about

Yeosang✨

San did I eat your snacks or why are you being a bitch?

San⛰️

I need MORE INFORMATION so I can help you find out who he is and you’re not cooperating!

Yeosang✨

Oh

San⛰️

Now

Answers!

Hair color?

Features that stand out?

Does he look like a serial killer?

Yeosang✨

Umm

Dark

Tall and hot but also kinda cute like a puppy

Not really serial killer material but maybe it’s an act? 

I can live with that I guess

I don’t mind if he's into postcoital dismemberment as long as the dick is good

Wooyoung🔪

Wow you are desperate

Yeosang✨

You’re even more desperate you have no room to talk

San⛰️

True

But he has extenuating circumstances

Yeosang✨

Does he

San⛰️

His target is dumb and in denial

Wooyoung🔪

He’s dumb and in denial

He’s lucky he’s pretty

Yeosang✨

Tall hot man could also be dumb and in denial!

I just haven’t found that out yet!

Wooyoung🔪

Go talk to tall hot man and find out loser!!

Yeosang✨

Going!

No wait

Not going

Wooyoung 🔪

Wtf are you chickening out

Yeosang✨

No

His friend came to pick him up

I look weird if I go to him now

San ⛰️

Does the friend look familiar???

Yeosang✨

Now that you said it

Yes

Wait

I think it's that guy!

Wooyoung🔪

That guy

San ⛰️

That guy

Yeosang✨

Hongjoong hyung's boyfriend!! Whatshisname!

San⛰️

Mingi?

Yeosang✨

I guess? Also tall and hot but different hot and less expensive!

San⛰️

And wears sunglasses?

Yeosang✨

And wears sunglasses!

San⛰️

Yep that’s Mingi

Well then, that makes this easy

***

Accept my love dammit

San

Babe

Baaaabe

I need information!

Jjong❤️

What is it?

Wait

You changed the name again!

Jjong❤️ changed the chat name to Leech (affectionate)

San

:(

Jjong❤️

Stop pouting and tell me what you need

San

Kisses :(

And information!

Who's Mingi's bestie?

Jjong❤️

Me

Obviously

San

No his other bestie!

The tall one!

I've seen him but never really met him??

Jjong❤️

Wait you haven't?

How in the hell

You're both at our place so often

San

Never at the same time it seems

Jjong❤️

Wow

Anyway he's Yunho

San

A quick summary?

Jjong❤️

Ugh

Jeong Yunho

Same age as you, performing arts school, dance major but also does other music related studies

Good at basically everything, has a dickload of money and is handsome but is also too nice for anyone to dislike him or even feel that jealous

San

Huh

Now I am annoyed that we haven't been introduced 

Jjong❤️

That can be easily fixed

Why are you asking?

San

Apparently Yeosang broke him

Jjong❤️

Lol what

San

He winked once and dude crumbled

If I understood correctly Mingi had to come and collect him

Jjong❤️

😂

Wonderful

I will not let him forget this

Thanks 😘

San

🥰😘😘😘

Also

You're a demon

Jjong❤️

That's just your bad influence on me

San

Hush you love me~ ❤️

Jjong❤️

I guess

San changed the chat name to Accept my love dammit

***

Three dinguses of government

San⛰️

I found out who he is!

Yeosang✨

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!

Wooyoung🔪

🎵A man after midnight🎶

Yeosang✨

Yes that too please

San⛰️

😂

Ookay

He's Jeong Yunho AND as I called it, Mingi's best friend!

So he’s probably not a serial killer

Jongho said he's super nice and I trust my man's judgement

So final verdict: get it!

Yeosang✨

I suppose he couldn't also supply me with a number…? 👉👈

Wooyoung🔪

Did we find out if he's rich?

So we know if Yeo still needs to snatch a sugar daddy

Or mama

Yeosang✨

Why are you making me sound like a freeloading leech

Wooyoung🔪

He asks as he eats the food I provided for the fifth time this week

San⛰️

That depends

How much do you estimate "a dickload" of money to be?

Yeosang✨

Enough to buy dinner

San focus! 

The number!

San⛰️

I'm not hearing you asking nicely 😜

Yeosang✨

Please?

I'll cuddle you!

Wooyoung🔪

He has a boyfriend for that

Unlike his lovely friends

San⛰️

Sangie cuddles!!!

You got a deal!

Wooyoung🔪

Wow

You're too easy

Yeosang✨

And you're not getting cuddles 😛

Wooyoung🔪

Rude :(

Yeosang✨

Sucks to suck

And you don’t even get to do that

San⛰️

Don’t be mean!

It’s not his fault hyung is dumb

***

Midnight coffee runs

2ndHo

Lol

Yunho hyung I heard you crumbled

From a single wink no less

I expected more from you

Yuyu

HOW DO YOU KNOW

AND STOP

I AM STILL NOT OKAY

Mingles

I think his phone is stuck on all caps

Hongdad

What happened?

Mingles

A severe case of bi panic happened

Yuyu

A divine creature looked at me and I didn't know what to do and he was pretty so I almost cried 😭

2ndHo

Almost he says 😂

Yuyu

I’M SENSITIVE JONGHO YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND

And how do you even know?!?!

We're not at your place yet???

2ndHo

I know because I know who this "divine creature" is

Or infernal, rather

Mingles

I didn't see

But from that I can tell that he's San's friend

Which one?

Yuyu

The pretty one!!!

Hongdad

They're all pretty tbh from what I've seen

It's not Seonghwa, right?

Wooyoung?

2ndHo

Yeosang

Yuyu

Why is even his name pretty???

Hongdad

Yunho, breathe

Yuyu

I'm trying but then I think of the face of a literal angel and I can't!!

Mingles

Angels do not look like that

They look scary

Too many eyes and wings and other freaky shit going on

Hongdad

True

Anyway Yunho please get your shit together

It's just a cute boy

Yuyu

You don't understand!!!

Cute boy?

More like cutest prettiest boy!!!

2ndHo

You want his number?

Yuyu

???

2ndHo

Yeosang is one of San's best friends

It's not hard to get his number

I can ask

So you can actually talk to him?

Unless you're too much of a mess and break down even when a pretty boy even texts you 😏

Yuyu

…

Please?

***

Leech (affectionate)

Jjong❤️

So

San

So

Can I get Yunho's number so I can give it to Sangie?

Jjong ❤️

I was gonna ask the other way around but sure that works

I don't think Yunho could even bring himself to text first atm

Or ever

San

… Let's hope Yeosang won't scare him off

Jjong❤️

There's nothing scary about him

San

Except his outrageous levels of horny

And chaotic disaster bi energy

Jjong ❤️

Lol

That makes two of them

They'll get along perfectly

***

Yeosang created a new chat

Yeosang added Tall hot man to the chat

Yeosang

Hi it’s Yeosang

I’m that guy who stared at you in public until Mingi came and whisked you away

And San gave me your number that he got from Jongho so don’t worry I am not stalking you!!

Oh fuck that’s what a stalker would say

Wow I am not smooth here

Anyway

Hi

Chapter Text

Midnight coffee runs

Yuyu

JONGHO

THIS IS YOUR FAULT I KNOW IT

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

2ndHo

Wow this hyung

So ungrateful when I try to help him

Hongdad

What happened?

2ndHo

Judging from all caps and panicked accusations it's Yeosang related

And because I did give Yunho's number to San…

Yuyu

HE TEXTED ME 

WHAT DO I DO

Mingles

First of all breathe

And stop the all caps

Don't panic

Yuyu

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Mingles

Marginally better

Hongdad

Yunho are you alright? Seriously.

You're kinda worrying me

Yuyu

Sorry 

I just don't know what to do 😫

Hyung he is PRETTY and idk I can't think????

Hongdad

Let's calm down first

What did he say?

Yuyu

He said hi

In a rambley way?

Hongdad

…?

Yuyu

[Screenshot]

Mingles

Well good news is that he’s nervous too

Yuyu

Is he though??????

Hongdad

If that doesn’t say nervous idk what does

2ndHo

Reply him!!

Yuyu

What do I say????

Hongdad

Start with a hi and that you don’t think he’s a stalker or smth

Work out from there

Yuyu

Hhhh

2ndHo

Wow have we ever seen him this nervous?

It feels weird

Yuyu

SHUT

He’s pretty!!!

I can’t handle pretty!!!

Mingles

I believe in you!

***

Tall hot man

Hi

Wait

What’s that name?

Yeosang

Oh

I thought it was fitting

Tall hot man

… you think I’m hot?

Yeosang

Well have you seen yourself?

Tall hot man

Um… I don’t think of myself like that?

But thanks

Yeosang

You’re welcome, and you absolutely should

Tall hot man

Oookay?

Um

Well

Hi? I’m Yunho 👋

Yeosang

I know, but hi again

I’m Yeosang 👋

***

Don’t bro me

Yuyu

Mingi

I need help

Mingles

You act like you’ve never texted a boy before

Yuyu

I’ve never texted a pretty ethereal boy before who named me Tall Hot Man in the chat!!!

Mingles

Wow he took a direct approach

Get it!

Yuyu

What do I do???

We’ve only said hi and my head is empty!!

Mingles

Get to know him!

Yuyu

HOW

It feels really awkward!

Mingles

Make it not awkward!

You’re good at making people comfortable!

Yuyu

It doesn’t help when the one who’s uncomfortable is ME

***

Tall hot man

Ummm can I request something?

Yeosang

Sure

Tall hot man

Can you change my name?

It feels weird when I’m

this

and you’re just Yeosang

Yeosang

Or

You can change my name?

Tall hot man

To what?

Yeosang

Idk

Make something up

Maybe something that matches yours?

Tall hot man changed Yeosang to Pretty pretty man

Pretty pretty man

Ooh

I like it ✨

I could have been short pretty man too, I guess?

So we could match completely

Tall hot man

You’re not that short?

Pretty pretty man

You’re at least a head taller

Tall hot man

But that’s because I’m tall

Not because you’re short

Pretty pretty man

Alright

I accept this reasoning

***

Three dinguses of government

Yeosang✨

He replied!!

San⛰️

!!!

Wooyoung🔪

Tell us everything!

Yeosang✨

Well

We didn’t get far yet

We said hi

Wooyoung🔪

Wow

I expected better from you

Yeosang✨

And he named me Pretty pretty man

San⛰️

Oh he’s whipped already

Wooyoung🔪

Please tell me you didn’t name him Tall hot man

Yeosang✨

I named him Tall hot man

Wooyoung🔪

Of course you did

San⛰️

Keep us updated!

Yeosang✨

I will

It feels a bit awkward though…

What should I say?

San⛰️

Just ask basic starter questions?

Get to know each other a little

Yeosang✨

Starter questions…

Ok

Yeah

I can do that

***

Pretty pretty man

So

Tall hot man

So…

Pretty pretty man

Who are your top 3 hot people you want to step on you?

Tall hot man

Wait what

Pretty pretty man

Sorry

I’m trying to break the ice here and San said I should ask easy starter questions

Guess that was not it

Tall hot man

Yeah that kinda wasn’t it 

I think he meant something along the lines of

What you do and what you like

That sort of questions

Pretty pretty man

… I mean it kinda fits the category?

Tall hot man

I don’t have an answer though 😅

My list is unranked

Pretty pretty man

But you DO have a list 👀

Tall hot man

Of course I have a list!

Who doesn't?

Pretty pretty man

You'd be surprised

We have to compare ours at some point

But apparently that’s an activity for later…

Ok, easier starter questions…

Tall hot man

Ummm I can start?

I don’t really know anything about you

Other than that you’re San’s friend, and I don’t really know San either

Just that he’s Jongho’s boyfriend and we somehow never have managed to hang out at Mingi’s and Jongho’s apartment at the same time so we’ve never met

Pretty pretty man

I have no idea how you managed to do that btw

Even I have met Mingi like twice

Though that wasn’t at their place

Tall hot man

Oh?

Pretty pretty man

Nah Hongjoong brought him along a few times when we were hanging out with him and Seonghwa

Tall hot man

I guess that explains how we have never met either

Anyway

Sooo

What do you do? Are you a student too?

***

Don’t bro me

Yuyu

I’m actually making conversation???

And not falling apart????

Mingi

Be proud of me!

Mingles

I’m always proud of you?

I thought that goes without saying

Yuyu

Please

I need emotional support

Mingles

You’re doing great

Yuyu

Thanks

***

Pretty pretty man

Yeah

Literature major

And a starving artist on the side

Tall hot man

Ooh?

Pretty pretty man

Meaning my debut novel is still in progress

Very slow progress

Tall hot man

Ohhh you’re a writer

That’s cool!

Pretty pretty man

Thanks

And you?

San said something about performing arts?

Tall hot man

Dance major yeah

I take music classes too, I like singing

But dancing is my main thing, you know?

Pretty pretty man

Cool

I’ve danced too, but it’s more of a hobby

I have no passion to be a pro or anything

But it’s fun

Tall hot man

Oooh nice

And yes it’s super fun!

Pretty pretty man

Soooo mister dancer

Do you have any clips to show me?

Because now I’m curious 👀

Tall hot man

Uhhh

Pretty pretty man

Pleaaaase?

Only if you're comfortable, of course!

***

Midnight coffee runs

Yuyu

I’m not making a huge mistake when I’m sharing my instagram with him, right???

2ndHo

Your profile is public

He would have found it anyway

Yuyu

Oookay

Hongdad

Judging from this you’re actually talking?

Yuyu

We’re doing something, I guess?

He asked to see clips of me dancing when I mentioned it

2ndHo

Oh yeah

San mentioned that Yeosang and Wooyoung have some dancing background

Hongdad

At least we know he will appreciate our Yunho

Yuyu

Aaww, you do love me hyung ❤️

***

Tall hot man

Sure

I mean my profile is public anyway

No big deal

[link]

Pretty pretty man

Thaaaanks

Oh you got a lot of followers!

Though I guess that’s not a surprise

Tall hot man

?

Pretty pretty man

I told you you’re hot!

Tall hot man

Oh

Well I don’t really post selcas though?

It’s mostly just dance videos

Pretty pretty man

So that must mean that they really like your dancing

Tall hot man

Well I hope they do instead of hate following

Pretty pretty man

Who even does that

Ok let me have a look

Tall hot man

You’d be surprised how many…

Pretty pretty man

Wow

You’re really good wtf

Tall hot man

Haha thanks

Pretty pretty man

For real! You have some serious talent!

Tall hot man

Thanks 😊

***

You’re never getting rid of me

Yeoyeo

This man is a WHORE

Weewoo

What did I do?

This feels unprovoked

For once

Yeoyeo

I NEED TO SCREAM AT SOMEONE

Weewoo

?????

Wait

Is this about Yunho?

Yeoyeo

[link]

HOW DARES HE DO THIS TO ME

Weewoo

Ummm what?

Oh he’s got pretty good moves

Yeoyeo

Scroll down!!!!

Weewoo

Ffs calm down you thirsty bitch

Wait

Nevermind you’re right

How the fuck does he still look classy when doing THAT🥵

Yeoyeo

My dick was NOT PREPARED for this

Wooyoung I am in public!!!

Weewoo

Lol

Suffer 

Yeoyeo

You’re the worst!

Weewoo

Wow those hips don’t lie

Love the tied up hands too

Yeoyeo

NOT

HELPING

Weewoo

Did the tall hot man get you horny in public? 😏

Yeoyeo

YES

And you have no right to talk

I’ve heard you burst into a fucking essay length rant about a certain hyung’s tongue and what it could do

Weewoo

It deserves nothing less

Yeoyeo

You haven’t even gotten to test it yourself

Weewoo

And you haven’t tested Yunho’s hip game either so I guess we’re both suffering Kang Yeosang!

Yeoyeo

At least I’ve only known him for like 30 minutes and not almost two years

Weewoo

UNCALLED FOR

***

Tall hot man

I would ask to see your writing but

From what I know a lot of writers aren’t comfortable sharing works in progress?

Pretty pretty man

Lol that’s so true

Idk I guess I can share something at some point

But I don’t really have anything atm

Tall hot man

That’s okay

I’m sure you’ll come up with something soon!

Pretty pretty man

I hope so

Thanks

If all else fails I’ll write porn and put it on Kindle or something for cheap

I need money for chicken nuggets

Tall hot man

Lol

Valid

***

Don’t bro me

Mingles

You haven’t panicked in a moment

Did he stop texting?

Yuyu

Why do you expect me to be constantly on the verge of breakdown?

Mingles

Scroll up and ask me that again

Yuyu

Shhhh

It’s… going well I guess?

I’m not full on panicking anymore?

He seems nice

Praised my dancing

Seems interesting but I haven’t gotten much out of him yet

Mingles

Oooo

So it’s not awkward anymore?

Yuyu

Not really

I feel like it’s going somewhere

I’ll tell you if something happens

Mingles

You better

If I hear something from Jongho instead of you first I’ll stab you

Yuyu

You couldn’t even stab a plushie

Mingles

True, but you’re not one

Yuyu

I’m as cute as one 😘

***

Catboy committee🐾

Wooyoung🔪

Y’all

I have a GREAT idea

Yeosang✨

Sounds fake but okay

Seonghwa🌠

No

San⛰️

…. what’s this about?

Wooyoung🔪

Gee thanks 

Really feeling the love here

San⛰️

I’m trying to be supportive but I have suspicions

Wooyoung🔪

ANYWAY

I’m finally putting all this culinary school experience to use outside school!

We’re gonna have a dinner party!

Like a fancy one!

San⛰️

Oh?

Yeosang✨

… how fancy?

Our place can only be improved so much…

Seonghwa🌠

Oh god here we go…

Wooyoung🔪

A small one! Just us and some other friends!

Enough that we can all fit in our place!

And we just have to clean up!

Seonghwa🌠

Good luck with that, I’m not helping

Wooyoung🔪

Hyuuuung don’t be rude!

You make it sound like we live in a pig pen!

Seonghwa🌠

…

San⛰️

Lol just because you’re a neat freak doesn’t mean we don’t know how to clean hyung

Anyway Woo

It actually sounds like fun

You’ll cook everything yourself?

Wooyoung🔪

Yes!

I’ve learned so much so I think it’s about time!

Yeosang✨

Sounds good buuuut

Are you sure you can afford it? Food gets real expensive real fast

Wooyoung🔪

That’s why there won't be too many guests!

And I think I can plan a good menu even on a tighter budget!

In fact you guys should help me since you’re the ones I’ll be cooking for!

Hyung you come over too so we can plan!

Seonghwa🌠

Can’t, I’m busy

Sorry

Wooyoung🔪

Hyuuuuuuuuuuuung

Seonghwa🌠

I wasn’t kidding I actually have stuff to do

***

Edgy emo authors

Mountain

No he fucking doesn’t

Prince

Right?

He’s been so weird in the chat whenever Woo says anything for a while now

The fuck is going on?

Mountain

I have no idea but I think we should find out

It’s not like him at all

Prince

Yeah

Let’s do that

Mountain

Yeah

Btw how are things with Yunho?

Prince

He made me almost pop a boner in public

Mountain

What???

😱

Prince

I don’t wanna talk about it

Mountain

Liar

Prince

Ughhhh

I’ll be home in a few

I’ll explain you then

Mountain

That’s what I thought

Chapter Text

Catboy committee🐾

Wooyoung🔪

Ok sooo

Since someone was too busy for me yesterday

Let's plan the party today!

Seonghwa🌠

Wooyoung

You don't need me to plan, you know that right?

And I have classes today

San⛰️

So do all of us you're not special hyung

Seonghwa🌠

I also don't live with you three

Yeosang✨

And?

Wooyoung🔪

Hyung 💔

You start to sound like you're avoiding me!

And I need you to help me plan!

I can't make a proper seating order without your input! 

Though I should probably make a guest list first…🤔

Seonghwa🌠

You're a student, Wooyoung

Not a 19th century lord

Why do you need a seating arrangement?

Wooyoung🔪

It's my dinner party and I will make it fancy!!

And you're an important guest too!

Seonghwa🌠

Yeah no

I will politely decline

Wooyoung🔪

You can't escape my dinner parties forever Park Seonghwa!

***

Tall hot man

Can I ask a potentially incendiary question?

Pretty pretty man

Is this about the List of Hot people I want to step on me?

Tall hot man

No

How would that even be?

Pretty pretty man

Idk

Maybe I have someone on my list you think is too problematic to thirst over?

Tall hot man

… is there someone?

Pretty pretty man

There might be a few but they’re fictional

Tall hot man

Yeah I think we’re safe then

I might have a couple of those too

Pretty pretty man

👀

Tall hot man

My question wasn’t about that!

Pretty pretty man

Go ahead and ask then

Tall hot man

What’s your take on mint choco ice cream?

Pretty pretty man

Ehh

Not my thing

San loves it, Wooyoung likes it too, I’ll eat it if it’s there but wouldn’t ever buy it

You?

Tall hot man

I guess I’m kinda meh about it

Like you said

Wouldn’t pick it when buying ice cream but if it’s there I can eat it

I don’t have strong feelings on the matter

Pretty pretty man

But clearly someone does?

I feel like this came from somewhere

Tall hot man

Haha yeah it did

I just listened Mingi rant about it

He had a whole debate over it with Hongjoong

AGAIN

Istg this happens like every other thursday

Pretty pretty man

Lol

Hongjoong hates it doesn’t he?

He and Seonghwa saw San and Wooyoung eat it

And then bitched about it amongst themselves for like 15 minutes

Tall hot man

Yeah that sounds about right 😂

Pretty pretty man

I see food is the topic of the day everywhere

Wooyoung is dragging us all into planning a fancy dinner party

Tall hot man

Lol what

Pretty pretty man

He’s a culinary school student

About to be a fancy chef and all

So he now has the idea of hosting a fancy dinner for us

Tall hot man

Ohhhh

That sounds really fun actually

Pretty pretty man

It sounds pretentious and dumb

And fun

And like I am NOT passing free food

Wooyoung cooks really well

Tall hot man

Shit now I’m hungry

Pretty pretty man

Maybe we can sneak you on the guest list too?

Tall hot man

Please do I want free fancy food 🥺

***

You’re never getting rid of me

Yeoyeo

Yunho will be on your guest list, right?

R I G H T ?

Weewoo

Oh what’s this?

You want to bring an avec already after knowing him for a minute? 😏

Yeoyeo

What’s a better way to charm a man than bring him to a fancy dinner?

Weewoo

It’s my fancy dinner and I’M doing the charming, mister!

But you got the spirit and I appreciate that~

I’ll add him to the list!

Yeoyeo

Who do we have there so far?

Other than me and San and Yunho and the hyung that tries desperately not to be on the list?

Weewoo

He can try

There’s Jongho, obviously since San will drag him there

Even though he already wants to be there because food and because that man is whipped no matter how bad he tries to hide it

Yeoyeo

Lol true

Anyone else?

Weewoo

I was thinking of inviting Hongjoong as well? And he can bring Mingi I guess

Since you’re bringing Yunho

So that’s eight including me

I might invite a couple others

Yeoyeo

Yeonjun? Changbin?

Weewoo

Maybe? Probably?

I’ll put them on the list

So I can start planning the menu and the budget

Yeoyeo

Look at you, putting your education to good use!

Weewoo

You’re being oddly nice here

Where’s the gentle roasting?

Suspicious 🤔

Yeoyeo

Rude

I'm being supportive, bitch!

Weewoo

Ah, there we go

Now I know it’s actually you and not a body snatcher

Yeoyeo

🙄

***

Midnight coffee runs

Hongdad

I crave

2ndho

Pizza?

Hongdad

No

Well, that too

Maybe

But

Caffeine first

Yuyu

You slept like an hour last night once again didn't you

Hongdad

Shhh

Yuyu

Hyung, I'm not mad

I'm disappointed

Hongdad

That's my line and you know it

Now where is my saving grace?

My angel

Yuyu

Flattering your boyfriend won't get you coffee

Mingles

I'm on my way 💕

With the usual order!

2ndHo

Wow

Whipped

Mingles

What can I say

I love my shorty

Hongdad

I will bite you if you call me that

Mingles

Jokes on you I'm into that

2ndHo

That's not allowed in this chat

Mingles

Shut up I know you and San are into some kinky shit too

Yuyu

Oh tea?👀

2ndHo

You know nothing

Mingles

I know a lot, actually

Yuyu

My money is on pet play 

Or something on the same level

Mingles

Wellllllll

Yuyu

Wait really???

2ndHo

I hate you both

But now that you said it

San would look great on a leash

Maybe I should pitch him the idea

Mingles

I was about to say that he’s already basically a cat

So even if you haven’t tried it yet maybe you should…

2ndHo

Thank you, now please stay out of my sex life from now on

Both of you

Hongdad

Mingiiiiiiii

COFFEE

Remember????

Where are you????

Mingles

Wow someone’s grumpy

I’m almost there calm down

Yuyu

Hyung for real get actual sleep too

This is why you end up arguing about mint choco ice cream every week

Hongdad

I can forgive many things but that crime against ice cream isn’t one of them

2ndHo

I guess we should be glad that ice cream is the most serious thing they argue about

Mingles

We’re grown ass men who can address things civilly!

Except when he gets tired and petty

Yuyu

He’s tired and petty quite often

Hongdad

Only about small things!

And I would never prevent him from eating mint choco

At least it gives him fresh breath all the time

Mingles

See he’s learning!

Now what studio are you in? The usual?

Hongdad

Yeah

You’re the best, you know that? 

Mingles

I do but you should always mention it ❤️

Yuyu

Wow why are you two so wholesome

Mingles

Because you aren’t and Jongho is a tsundere, so someone has to take the role

***

Pretty pretty man

I thought about something

Do you mind a personal question?

Tall hot man

Ask away

But I won't promise I can answer if it's about the List again

It’s still unsorted and unranked

Pretty pretty man

Not exactly

But it's connected I guess?

Tall hot man

Oookay? 

Pretty pretty man

Sorry if it's invasive

And very sudden considering how little we have talked so far

You’re not obligated to answer if you don’t want to

Buut

I know Jongho and Hongjoong and Mingi are very very gay 🏳️🌈

So are all my closest friends btw

Are you?

Tall hot man

I’m not

***

You're never getting rid of me

Yeoyeo

FUCK

***

Tall hot man

I mean!

I like men

Just not exclusively

I'm bi

Pretty pretty man

!!!

OMG 

ME TOO

Tall hot man

Wait you too??

Pretty pretty man

Yes!

We are both the token bisexual in our friend groups!!! 😱

Tall hot man

😱

A fellow disaster bi??

Pretty pretty man

It's destiny!!!

***

You're never getting rid of me

Weewoo

What did you do now

Yeoyeo

Oh right

Nevermind!

Crisis averted!

This is perfect 💖

Weewoo

Wow a heart?

Yunho makes you soft

Yeoyeo

Quite the opposite actually

Weewoo

… Goddammit

I really gave you that on a silver platter

Yeoyeo

😘

BUT

WOOYOUNG

HE'S BI TOO

I FOUND MY SOULMATE

Weewoo

Ohhhhhh

Great!

Finally you get someone you can talk to about vaginas

Yeoyeo

Get fucked ❤️

Weewoo

I'd love to

Wow two hearts

This is the most love I've gotten from you in like a month

Yeoyeo

I gave you some of my chicken nuggets last week!

What more do you want from me???

***

Pretty pretty man

You know what this means?

Tall hot man

???

Pretty pretty man

We need to name the chat appropriately

Tall hot man

Ohhhh

You're right!

Hmmm

Do you have anything?

Pretty pretty man

Hold on

Pretty pretty man changed the chat name to Disaster Bi Support

Tall hot man

You know what I don't get?

Why is it disaster bi?

And not bisaster?

Pretty pretty man

😱

Ohhhhhh that's even better

You’re a genius let me change that again

Pretty pretty man changed the chat name to Bisaster Aid

Tall hot man

I love it 😂

***

Midnight coffee runs

Hongdad

Now that I’ve got caffeine in my veins

Yuyu

I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to drink the coffee, not inject it

2ndHo

Lol

Hongdad

Ignoring that

Yunho

How are things?

With the panic-inducing boy?

Yuyu

Oh!

Pretty good

I haven’t panicked again!!!

2ndHo

Yet

Yuyu

Shhhhhh

Mingles

So what’s he like?

I’ve seen him like once and he didn’t talk that much?

Hongdad

From what I know

Pretty and sweet

But also a specific brand of chaotic and very gay when he opens his mouth

Yuyu

Pretty much all of those except the gay

Hongdad

Wait what

Mingles

He flirted with you though???

Yuyu

Yes

But he’s bi!

He’s another token bi friend!

Hongdad

Ohhhhhh

Well you got more things in common than expected!

Yuyu

Yes!

And as I said I haven't panicked again!!

2ndHo

Yet

Just wait until you actually meet him in person again

Yuyu

Shut

Let me have this

2ndHo

You could have him? If you don't crumble into pieces as soon as he looks at you

Yuyu

I'm a big boy and can handle myself!

***

Bisaster Aid

Pretty pretty man

Btw can I get a selca?

You said you don't post them

But you take them, right?

I need one for your contact

Tall hot man

Sure

But I want one back

Pretty pretty man

Of course!

Fair trade and all!

Tall hot man

Great!

Let me find one where I don't look ridiculous

Pretty pretty man

Hey now

That's not even possible

Tall hot man

Yes it is

Pretty pretty man

Ooo

🔥🔥

Tall hot man

I guess that's a compliment?

Thanks 😂

Pretty pretty man

You're very very welcome

Here's mine

Tall hot man

Stunning 🔥

Pretty pretty man

Thanks

I try ✨

***

Don't bro me

Yuyu

I LIED

I CAN’T HANDLE MYSELF

Mingles

Aaand he’s panicking again 

What happened

Yuyu

HE HAPPENED

Mingles

Oh he looks FINE

Yuyu

I AM PAINFULLY AWARE

Mingles

Oh I just realized he's laying down

Just wait till he starts sending actual thirst traps…

Yuyu

(Softly) DON'T

Mingles

That wasn't soft

Yuyu

NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS SOFT

Mingles

Aaaand I've heard enough

Yuyu

Haha NO YOU HAVEN'T

You've made me listen to you waxing poetry about your boyfriend's ass so many times

You owe me this!

Mingles

It's a nice ass 🤷

***

Catboy committee🐾

Wooyoung🔪

Alright

I think I’ve got this figured out!

The guest list is done!

Yeosang✨

Remember what I said!!

Wooyoung🔪

Got you baby😘 it’s been accounted for

San⛰️

Yaaay! So how many extra chairs and tables do we need to hunt from somewhere?

Wooyoung🔪

My list at the moment includes 10 people

It might go up to 11

San⛰️

Oh?

Wooyoung🔪

If Changbin brings Felix, that is!

I’m inviting him and Yeonjun

And then there’s you three

Obviously San you’re bringing Jongho

San⛰️

Of course 💖

Wait 10-11?

You’re inviting Hongjoong and Mingi?

Wooyoung🔪

Yeah

And Yunho too!

I guess I could stretch to 12, if Yeonjun wants to bring someone too, but he’s single atm so I don’t think so

Seonghwa🌠

You forgot to exclude me from the list

Wooyoung🔪

😱

Hyung!

I could never!

And it wouldn’t make sense for me to invite Hongjoong but not you!

Seonghwa🌠

Not really, he’s your friend too?

San⛰️

Yeah, but tbh we don’t know him as well as you do

He was your friend first

And hyung, why wouldn’t you come to Wooyoung’s party?

Seonghwa🌠

Because I got my hands full of other stuff I have to do?

And dinner parties aren’t my thing

And because I’m predicting a disaster

Wooyoung🔪

Rude

I already told you you’re not escaping!

Seonghwa🌠

And I told you I have to decline

***

Edgy emo authors

Prince

Should we step in?

Before it gets worse

Mountain

Yeah I think we should because what the fuck

But what do we say?

Prince

Nothing in the group chat

Not yet

I’ll handle it in a minute

Chapter Text

Yeosang created a new chat

Yeosang added Mountain to the chat

Yeosang added Seonghwa hyung to the chat

Mountain

Wow why does he have such a boring name on your phone

Yeosang changed the chat name to Hyung you better start explaining

Seonghwa hyung

What’s going on?

Mountain

Hold up I need to change this up a little

Mountain changed the chat name to Spanish inquisition: reboot

Mountain changed their name to Inquisitor #1

Inquisitor #1 changed Yeosang to Inquisitor #2

Inquisitor #1 changed Seonghwa hyung to Accused

Inquisitor #2

… I really wanna say that this was [redacted] but I don’t want to give in

Inquisitor #1

The fact that you thought of it is enough for me 😘

Inquisitor #2

Is this the time for jokes tho?

Inquisitor #1

For now while I still find any humor in this situation

But, depending on how this continues I might just end up pissed off

Accused

Will someone now explain what’s happening????

San, what is this?

Inquisitor #1

You tell us, hyung

What the hell was that in the group chat?

Accused

What do you mean?

Inquisitor #2

Oh my god he’s an idiot

Accused

Excuse me

I’m your hyung

Inquisitor #2

And I would expect you to behave like one

I can’t believe we have to call out YOU of all people

For being a dick

Inquisitor #1

What he said

Hyung

Wooyoung’s trying to include you in a thing he’s excited about

And you keep being evasive and tbh kinda hostile about it

What’s going on?

Accused

…?

Nothing’s going on?

Inquisitor #2

Then explain us why you’re acting like a moody teenager

Did you fight?

Accused

I’m not?

Guys, I am actually busy

I don’t have time to indulge all of Wooyoung’s whims

Inquisitor #1

When are you NOT busy?

And hyung

This isn’t like you at all

You’re actually making us worried here

Inquisitor #2

Yeah

You’re never this… well

Negative

Bordering on downright bitchy

Accused

Ok why are you two ganging up on me like this?

All I said was that I am not interested in his party ideas?

Inquisitor #1

Because usually you’re supportive of us even when we are idiots?

And as I just said

You came across as really negative in the chat earlier

Accused

I’m busy, guys

Maybe it came across harsher than intended

End of story

You’re making it a bigger deal than it is

Now, I really have to go

Talk to you later!

***

Edgy emo authors

Prince

What the serious fuckery was that

Mountain

RIGHT?

He straight up refused to acknowledge it

The fuck is happening???

Prince

Body snatchers?

Mountain

…

You know what that makes sense

Our real hyung wouldn’t be this blind to his own behavior

...right?

Prince

I want to say yes

But then I remember he’s a fucking idiot

Well

This didn’t go well at all

Mountain

Yeah…

We have to bring it up again later I guess

Preferably in a situation where he can’t run away like that

Prince

Right

But

I think there’s something going on between them

And he’s not telling us

Mountain

Probably

But I think it’s even weirder that if there is something

And Wooyoung isn’t telling us

Do you think he confessed and got rejected or…?

Prince

No

We would know that

I think it might be something else

Let’s wait and then probe again

Hyung can’t avoid us forever

***

You’re never getting rid of me

Yeoyeo

Is this on? 🎤

This is your best friend speaking

No matter how cunty an evil hyung gets

Don’t let it get you down!

Weewoo

You’re unusually loving today

It’s starting to scare me 👀

Yeoyeo

Enjoy while it lasts

And this is your free pass to vent if you need to

Weewoo

I’m fine I guess

I just don’t get why he’s being like that??

Yeoyeo

Did something happen? Did you have a fight?

Weewoo

Not that I know of?

If we did it’s entirely on his side???

Yeoyeo

Ookayyy

And you don’t remember saying anything he might have been hurt or offended by?

Weewoo

No?

And how could I even tell when he pulls off the offended face every time I say anything??

Yeoyeo

There’s a difference between that face and the one he makes when he’s actually hurt

Weewoo

Anyway he doesn’t usually get like this though???

He just sulks on his own and maybe at some point finally decides to tell us that something bothers him???

Yeoyeo

Hmm you’re right

Well

I just hope he will come to his senses soon so we don’t have to order a hit on him with San

Weewoo

Have I mentioned I love you two ❤️

By the way

I thought of the space problem

Since we don’t have enough chairs or a table big enough for what I’m going for

And then I remembered

Our school has this smaller restaurant space that’s used for practice sometimes

Yeoyeo

Ooo

You think you could use it if you ask?

Weewoo

I think there is a chance to rent it??

Yeoyeo

Great

Now you go be charming and bat your eyelashes to the person in charge of that

And then tell me and San how much we need to pay

Btw this means you’re not getting a birthday present this year

Weewoo

Seriously the love I’m getting from you today is overwhelming omg

Who are you and what did you do to Kang Yeosang 

Yeoyeo

Don’t worry I’ll get back to picking on you soon ❤️

And now you can return the favor by helping me

Weewoo

What does my precious Pikachu need?

Yeoyeo

A lot of things but

It’s about Yunho

Weewoo

What did tall hot man do?

Yeoyeo

Be tall and hot

Weewoo

Is it bad I really wanna make out with him? 🥵

Yeoyeo

Back off he’s mine

Weewoo

If you ever get there

And if you don’t I will

Yeoyeo

Anyway

I was actually about to say

I kinda wanna see him in person?

I like talking via text but

You know

Weewoo

I mean you totally should!

Yeoyeo

Yeah

But here’s the thing

How do you ask someone for a friendly outing without making it weird or awkward????

Weewoo

By asking like a normal person?

Wait

No, it’s you nevermind

You can't be normal

Yeoyeo

I’d be offended if you weren’t right

Weewoo

😘

***

Leech (affectionate)

San

Babe

Baaaabe

The love of my life

The light of my universe

Jongho!

Why do you ignore me :(

Jjong ❤️

I don’t?

I’m at the gym

These guns don’t maintain themselves

Or thighs

San

Thighs ❤️❤️❤️

Wait you distracted me

Though I guess that’s for the best

Jjong ❤️

Did something happen?

San

Not really but I’m really annoyed at Seonghwa hyung right now

Jjong ❤️

Oh?

San

He’s acting weird and dodging our attempts to confront him about it, just claiming he’s busy

It’s probably nothing big but it’s kind of upsetting tbh :(

Jjong ❤️

I see

Do you want me to come over later? 

San

I think I’m just going to channel my emotions to dramatic poetry

You know to fuel creativity and all that

Jjong ❤️

So what I hear is that you don’t want cuddles today

San

On a second thought I think I really need to be held by strong arms to get through this!

Jjong ❤️

I’ll come over after I’m done

Is Wooyoung cooking today?

San

… I should have known you had an ulterior motive 😒

Who really is the leech here?

Jjong ❤️

The food is just a bonus

You know I wouldn’t be offering if I didn’t want to cuddle you and have you in my lap

San

Promise?

Jjong ❤️

Swear on my considerable honor

And I will prove it once I get there

San

Aaawwww you’re the cutest!

Jjong ❤️

Shhhhh

San

And you love me~ ❤️❤️❤️

Jjong ❤️

And if you tell anyone I’m being soft…

San

Aaawwww don’t be embarrassed! It’s ok! You love me~

Jjong ❤️

Don’t get a big head about it

Now, I need to get back to working on my arms

San

I’ll make sure to appreciate them when you get here~

***

Bisaster Aid

Tall hot man

Good morning~

Pretty pretty man

Good morning I hate it here

Tall hot man

Oh shit do you have morning classes on fridays?

Pretty pretty man

No thank god

I just have the most annoying assignment to write and it’s really getting on my nerves 😫

Tall hot man

Oof

That sucks

Pretty pretty man

It does and not in a good way

How’s your morning?

Tall hot man

Ok so far

Though I have to study too…

Theory classes are dry as fuck

Pretty pretty man

Great, we’re both suffering

Remind me why I’m studying anything at all and not just starting an onlyfans account?

People can make a living selling pics of their feet so why am I not doing that?

Tall hot man

Ummm

Something something degree something better job prospects something your future blah blah

But I mean

Studying and starting an onlyfans account aren’t mutually exclusive?

Pretty pretty man

True 🤔

Hmmm

Would you subscribe to my account?

Tall hot man

…

Depends on content

I’m not into feet

I think

Pretty pretty man

You think?

Tall hot man

Look

We’re all a single gentle prompt away from discovering kinks we didn’t know we have

Pretty pretty man

… I would love to argue

But then I remember that one guy who asked me about breeding kink mid-sex

Tall hot man

I-

Pretty pretty man

Made the whole thing super awkward

And had me wondering if I have it for like two weeks

Tall hot man

… what was the conclusion?

Pretty pretty man

I guess you’ll find out if I ever get to opening that account ;)

And you?

Tall hot man

?

Pretty pretty man

You can’t let me overshare and then not tell me what was your kink that you discovered!

Tall hot man

Well it wasn’t me exactly

It was Jongho

Pretty pretty man

Omg

Tell me!

Tall hot man

Don’t ask why

But we ended up bringing up pet play

And he said he should consider asking San if he’d be into that

Pretty pretty man

Wait they’re not doing it already?????

Jongho what the hell is that man doing

Tall hot man

Umm?

Pretty pretty man

Look I know basically everything about San and Wooyoung

Including way too well what they’re into

And I am SHOCKED that they haven’t tried it already!

Tall hot man

Ohhhh

Pretty pretty man

So yeah if you see Jongho

Just tell him to buy that collar

***

Three dinguses of government

Yeosang✨

San what the fuck

San⛰️

What did I do now???

Yeosang✨

We all know you’re the catboyest of catboys!

How have you not incorporated that to bedroom yet???

Wooyoung🔪

What 😂

San⛰️

What??

Yeosang✨

Pet play

San⛰️

Wait how do you know?!!!?!

You weren’t here yesterday!!!

Yeosang✨

Oh he did propose it to you then?

San⛰️

I am not allowed to speak without a lawyer present

Wooyoung🔪

Lol was that what you were whispering about on the couch 😂

San⛰️

Shhhhhh

Yeosang✨

I’m just shook that it wasn’t already a thing

San⛰️

I didn’t wanna bring it up so soon 😭

I was scared that Jongho thinks it’s weird

Wooyoung🔪

San

You’ve been dating him for almost 8 months

And he knows you’re weird as fuck

You really think the fact that you like putting on a collar and following orders is gonna scare him off?

Yeosang✨

Lol

San⛰️

You’re both horrible

This was not what I wanted to talk about while having breakfast!

Yeosang✨

You love us

***

Bisaster Aid

Pretty pretty man

Btw

Since I need to write the stupidest assignment in history of stupid assignments

Tall hot man

What’s the problem?

Is it like super difficult or?

Pretty pretty man

I don’t think it’s supposed to be

But it’s so confusingly worded that I can’t figure out how to do it!!

Anyway what I was gonna say

You wanna study and complain together to make it slightly less horrible?

Since you had like theory to read or something

Tall hot man

Oh

Yeah I guess it could make it more fun

Are you free in an hour or so?

Pretty pretty man

Yeah

Now where should we meet?

Every cell of my body says a cafe but my empty wallet says library

Tall hot man

I can buy you a coffee

Pick a spot and we’ll meet there?

Pretty pretty man

Omg you’re an angel ❤️

If I ever make that onlyfans account I’ll give you like a free subscription

Tall hot man

… thanks?

***

Midnight coffee runs

Yuyu

Someone

Anyone

Help

Hongdad

Oh are we in for another hot boy panic breakdown?

Yuyu

Maybe

I’m meeting Yeosang today

2ndHo

Ohhh progress

Mingles

Get it!

Yuyu

It’s just a study date

Mingles

It has the word date in it so it counts!

Hongdad

Don’t worry too much Yunho

He’s a mere mortal like us too

Yuyu

Yeah but he’s PRETTY

Like I can function when we’re just talking like this

But it’s gonna be different when I can actually SEE him

Hongdad

Who knows

Maybe it won’t

Now just go and get some studying done

Be like you usually are

Yuyu

An absolute mess?

Hongdad

You and I both know that isn’t true

Be like you’d be with anyone who isn’t ridiculously pretty

Yuyu

…

I’ll try

Mingles

Good boy, you got this!

2ndHo

Lol is he your puppy now

Mingles

Always has been 🐶

Yuyu

Speaking of puppies

Jongho you should buy that collar for your boyfriend

2ndHo

Already did 

Hongdad

This feels wrong

2ndHo

You have your boyfriend and his bestie to blame for bringing it up in the first place

***

Tired & Miserable (NOT OLD)

Hwa

Hey

Are you busy?

Joong

As usual

I’m gonna be stuck in class and studio for the whole day again

Did you want to meet up? Might have to wait til tomorrow

Hwa

No it’s ok

I got a lot to do too

But do you have a minute so I can vent?

Joong

Sure

Is everything ok?

Hwa

Yeah

Or not really idk

It’s nothing big

But I told you about that shit with that one professor already

It’s just that now my friends seem to be ganging up on me for some reason too

Joong

Huh

How about you tell me exactly what happened

Chapter Text

Tired & Miserable (NOT OLD)

Joong

So basically

What I got from this

Is that Wooyoung who is your friend

Is making plans regarding something he’s very passionate about

And then you go and shut him down

Multiple times

And when your other friends call you out on it you try to avoid the whole subject?

Hwa

… Did you have to put it like that?

Now it sounds really bad

Joong

It already sounded bad when you recounted it to me

I’m just summarizing here

Hwa

Hongjoong pleaaase 😭

Joong

We’re friends

And that includes me telling you when you’ve fucked up something and vice versa

And you did fuck up here

Hwa

… I guess

Joong

Hey you said it yourself

San told you this isn’t like you at all

That should be an obvious tell

Hwa

Hhhh

Joong

Hey now

Why are you being like this? Seriously

Like I can tell it has something to do with Wooyoung

Did something happen between you two before this?

Hwa

Not really?

Kinda? Maybe?

Idk

Joong

???

Hwa

He’s been acting weird

Weirder than usual I mean

Joong

From what I know Wooyoung’s default mode is weird

You’re gonna have to be a bit more specific

Hwa

He’s been clingy and all every time we meet

I mean he always is but ehh

Also he keeps saying weird shit to me and calling me pretty

Joong

Weird shit as in “how many raccoons can you shove up your ass” or as in “I wanna shove a raccoon up your ass”?

Hwa

Why is THAT the example you come up with?!

Joong

I stumbled upon interesting facts last night 🤷

For the record, the answer to the question is about one and a half

Hwa

I didn’t ask

Joong

Sounds like a you problem

Now which is it?

Hwa

Neither? 

But he said

And I quote

“Hyung, I want our tongues to battle for dominance”

Joong

Oh my god

What fanfic is he reading

It must be confiscated, that line should have stayed in 2013

Hwa

What does that even mean!??!!

Joong

The fanfic?

Hwa

No the line!!!

I don’t get him!

Joong

It means he wants to make out with you

I thought that was obvious

Hwa

Ughhh

Joong

So my conclusion is that he’s flirting

And doing a very cringy job at it

Hwa

So he’s pulling a prank on me

Got it

I feel slightly less bad now

Joong

Are you sure he’s pranking tho

Hwa

Yes

Joong

Oookay

Anyway

You should probably still apologize

If the others had to call you out

You probably came across pretty harsh

So you know

Just to prevent any drama if nothing else

I mean he’s just trying to put his culinary school studies to use and you’re being a bitch

Hwa

Hhh

You’re right

I’ll talk to him later

Thanks

Joong

No problem

This was a great distraction from class

Why the fuck do I need math when I’m a music major

Hwa

Because music is math

Joong

This isn’t even real math

It’s statistics

Why am I here

Hwa

… Are you supposed to be there?

Joong

… I’m not sure

***

Three dinguses of government

Yeosang✨

Permission to gush?

San⛰️

Granted

Wooyoung🔪

Just gushing, no gloating!

Yeosang ✨

He's so cute and HOT

AND

He's really nice?!?!!!

Is it legal to be all three???

San⛰️

I thought we knew he was all that?

Wooyoung🔪

So did you actually ask him out?

Yeosang✨

I did!

We're studying together right now!

He bought me coffee💗

Wooyoung 🔪

Fuck he's a gentleman too???

Where can I get one

San⛰️

With caramel syrup?

Yeosang ✨

Yes 💖

And he didn't judge when I said I prefer sweet drinks over plain ass americano

I think he said it was cute

San ⛰️

You think?

Yeosang ✨

He was hiding behind his hand so it was all muffled

He blushes a lot

It's adorable

I want to bite and squish him

Wooyoung 🔪

I'd say go ahead but you're in public

San ⛰️

You think that will stop him?

Yeosang✨

No but the fact that this is a) friendly meeting b) study date will

I’m actually getting work done here wow

San ⛰️

You just said all that

And it's a FRIENDLY meeting???

Yeosang ✨

Small steps!

To make sure he won't run!

And you know

Even if it goes nowhere

Then at least I have a hot friend to discuss vaginas with

Wooyoung 🔪

Goddammit 🤦♂️

San ⛰️

Whatever makes you happy I guess 😂

***

Don't bro me

Mingles

Status report!!

Are you alive?

Yuyu

I think?

I might have also died and gone to heaven because I have a literal angel next to me frowning at his laptop

Mingles

Oh right you're actually studying

Yuyu

Trying to at least

I've read like 5 pages

I keep getting distracted because he's there

Being pretty 😫

And cute and sipping his caramel latte and he pouts when he does it and it's cute! 

Mingles

Oh my god

Not the pout 😱

Yuyu

The pout will be my doom Mingi!

I'm just gonna stare at him doing it forever and not even notice I'm starving to death!

Mingles

Yeah you're a lost cause

But despite that the date is going well it seems?

Yuyu

I mean we're not talking that much since we're actually trying to focus

And stop calling it a date

It's a friendly meeting

Mingles

With a guy you're hopelessly infatuated with

Yuyu

Details

But you know since we haven’t established that we’re trying to date

Assume everything's a friendly thing until I say otherwise ok?

Mingles

Sounds fake but ok

So, the Friendly Meeting is going well?

Yuyu

As I said, not much talking happening here

But I feel surprisingly calm? 

Besides the pout of doom that will fry all of my remaining brain cells

Like we're just sitting together and working quietly but I don't feel awkward at all

It's a comfortable silence you know?

Mingles

A good sign 👍

Ok I'll let you get back to pretending that you're reading while you're actually just staring at him and the pout of doom

Yuyu

Am I masochistic enough to buy him another latte just to see him do it more…?

***

This house is too small for both of us

Tall loser

Dude

Should we be worried?

Buff loser

What is it this time?

Tall loser

You know how Yunho is on that study date with Yeosang

He just called it a Friendly Meeting

Like

He’s friendzoning him????

Buff loser

Or

They’re just taking it slow and see how well they get along

Trying to feel each other a bit you know?

Tall loser

That sounds sexual

Buff loser

It probably is

I bet their chat is nasty already and they’re not even together yet

Tall loser

If we ever find out and it turns out you’re right…

Buff loser

Yes, I’ll gladly accept your offer to do the dishes for a month thank you

You’re officially my favorite hyung

Tall loser

A week and a half at most

The odds are too much in your favor here

***

Spanish inquisition: reboot

Accused

Hi

Inquisitor #1

Oh?

Inquisitor #2

??

Accused

… was I that harsh earlier?

Inquisitor #1

Yes

Inquisitor #2

Yes

Accused

Oh ffff-

Inquisitor #1

It’s adorable how you’re trying not to curse

But seriously hyung

Do you want to explain now?

Accused

…

Not really

But I did realize my behavior was uncalled for

I should apologize to Wooyoung, right?

Inquisitor #2

You should

Like he doesn’t want to show it

But I think he was a little hurt

Even if you playing hard to get makes him work twice as hard

Accused

Oh god

Inquisitor #1

Just say you’re sorry for being shitty

And that you will attend his dinner

He’ll forgive you in an instant!

Accused

I guess?

I’ll do it

Inquisitor #2

Good

I can call off the hit we ordered on you

Accused

Wtf Yeosang???!!!

Inquisitor #2

Wow you really thought I would?

What do you think of me hyung?

Accused

At this point nothing you three hellspawns do is too “out there”

Inquisitor #1

Aawww he loves us

Accused

I’m concerned of your reading comprehension, San

I literally called you hellspawns

Inquisitor #1

And?

Inquisitor #2

But we’re YOUR hellspawns hyung~ ❤️

That’s what he meant

Accused

Ughhhh

Inquisitor #1

Aaaanyway Yeosang

Any more updates?

Concerning The Tall Hot Man

Also known as Yunho?

Inquisitor #2

Not really unless you want a rehash of what I already told you?

I mean if you want I can repeat how cute and tall and handsome and sexy he is and I really wanna sit on him and kiss him until he cries

Accused

Wait what?

Have I missed something?

Yunho?

Yeosang? What is going on?

Inquisitor #2

Sorry but mean hyungs don’t get updates

Fix your issues with Wooyoung and you might get them!

Accused

This is not fair!!!

You’re unfairly excluding me! 😡

Inquisitor #1

There’s an easy solution hyung

Stop trying to exclude yourself from Wooyoung’s dinner party guest list

Accused

How is it that on your own you two can be the most angelic boys

But together you’re complete brats???

***

Bisaster Aid

Pretty pretty man

I feel like I need to warn you

Tall hot man

Oh?

Pretty pretty man

Unless you’re applying to be my sugar daddy

You should limit the amount of lattes and macarons you buy me

I’m pretty sure I drained your wallet

And I feel I’m very high on sugar

Tall hot man

That’s cute

Pretty pretty man

Glad you think so

Wooyoung just called me annoying

He’s right

Tall hot man

Not what I meant 😂

Though you are cute too

But I was talking about you thinking that the two caramel lattes and four macarons I bought for you will bankrupt me

Pretty pretty man

They were very pricey macarons!

Delicious too

Tall hot man

And didn’t even make a tiny dent in my wallet

Pretty pretty man

Oh right I did hear

You have a dickload of money

Tall hot man

Where did you hear that?

Pretty pretty man

From San

Who heard from Jongho

Say

You sure you don’t want to put in that sugar daddy application?

Tall hot man

I think you’ve had enough sugar for today 

Pretty pretty man

… can’t argue with that

Hmm

Do you think it would be a better investment instead of the onlyfans?

Tall hot man

What?

Pretty pretty man

Getting a sugar daddy

Or mama

Tall hot man

asdfhdfsha

Maybe?? Idk??

Pretty pretty man

🤔

Where can I find one?

Do you know any??

Tall hot man

Lol don’t you think I’d have one if I did?

Pretty pretty man

I mean you could have one and you just didn’t tell me 

Tall hot man

Sadly, no

Haven’t found one either

But I think there are sites for that?

And if they’re not your type otherwise

There are probably some people who will be content with just the feet pics or smth

Pretty pretty man

I love how you’re actually giving advice on this 😂

Tall hot man

I mean who am I to stop you from following your dreams

Pretty pretty man

Dreams of being a rich person’s boytoy?

Tall hot man

Never let anyone tell you that dream isn’t worth pursuing!

Pretty pretty man

I appreciate the support

And the applications are still open

Just a reminder~

Tall hot man

aejfhag stop!

Pretty pretty man

😘

***

Don’t bro me

Yuyu

ddsfdhhgsh Mingi he’s killing me

Mingles

This isn’t news anymore

Yuyu

I’m serious!!!

Mingles

Lol what is it this time

Yuyu

[ screenshot ]

Mingles

… you know this makes it even harder to believe that you two are just friends for now

Yuyu

Idk what we are

But what I said still stands!

Mingles

Suuuuure

Btw you better never let Jongho know about this

Yuyu

Wasn’t going to

He will never stop making fun of me

Mingles

That’s not the reason but I’m glad you agree

Yuyu

… what’s the reason?

Mingles

I don’t wanna have to do the dishes

Yuyu

Wait you guys were betting???

Mingi you can’t cheat like that!

I can't believe you're making me consider enduring the humiliation just because you refuse to honor a bet!

Mingles

Not betting!

Just saying that “if we ever find out”

And if he never finds out

Then I won’t have to do it!

Yuyu

You have no honor

Mingles

Neither does Jongho so it’s fine

***

Hyung stop blocking me

No respect guy

Wooyoung

I know you’re probably busy

With you know

But can we talk?

Brat

I’m not that busy though?

But apparently you are

No respect guy

gfdhah

I’m sorry

You know

For being too harsh on you earlier

I know you’re excited to plan the dinner party and it was shitty of me to shut you down like that

Brat

Glad you acknowledged that

Why were you like that?

No respect guy

Hhh I don’t even know???

Like I’ve been very stressed lately

I have a lot to do and there’s this one professor giving me so much shit and I just

I seriously have no idea what came over me

And ok maybe I felt a little weird when you used some cringy pick-up lines on me that, according to Hongjoong, belong to a fanfic from like 2013

Brat

Lol 😂

Ok I promise to use better lines in the future!

And don’t worry hyung, I accept your apology!

No respect guy

Thank you

… am I banned from the dinner now or can I still change my mind and come?

Brat

You’re never banned ❤️

Like I would miss the chance to feed you!

No respect guy

You’re weird again

Brat

You always say that

Btw what’s the thing with the professor? 

Like is he just being a dick in general or is it something you should actually report?

Like is he singling you out?

No respect guy

… I’m not sure?

I feel like he might just be like that to everyone

But I still feel like shit every time he says anything to me

Brat

Say the word and we will hire a hitman

No respect guy

Appreciated but unnecessary

Hopefully I never have to deal with him again after this class is done

Brat

If you say so

Any other issues you want to talk about?

You know

To make you less stressed and all

No respect guy

Not really?

Just a lot on my plate at once

Brat

Well you better empty your plate so I can serve you better stuff!

No respect guy

😂

Thanks

Looking forward to it

Brat

Are you now? 

You were sooooooo convinced it would be a disaster before!

No respect guy

That was the old me, let’s forget about him!

And

I realized I’ve never actually had any of your cooking?

Or have I?

Brat

😱

OMG

Prepare to be thoroughly impressed!!!

***

Three dinguses of government

Wooyoung🔪

EMERGENCY

HAVE I REALLY NEVER COOKED FOR SEONGHWA HYUNG BEFORE??????

Yeosang✨

…. idk?

Maybe?

San⛰️

Wait really?

Well

That would explain how in the fuck he would have the capability to predict you making dinner would go anything but spectacularly

Yeosang✨

I just excused that with him being an idiot honestly

Wooyoung🔪

OH

MY

GOD

I NEED TO COME UP WITH A FLAWLESS MENU

YOU TWO ARE BANNED FROM KITCHEN TONIGHT

I NEED TO PLAN

Chapter Text

Bisaster Aid

Pretty pretty man

Hey

Do you wanna come over today?

Tall hot man

Ummmm sure?

Is there like a specific reason?

Or are we just gonna hang out?

Pretty pretty man

We’re gonna hang out

Wooyoung is convinced that we exclusively talk about vaginas

So we can either prove him correct

Or show him that there are other topics men who are attracted to women can be interested in

Tall hot man

Lol

That’s funny

Considering we haven’t talked about girls once

Pretty pretty man

True

Should we?

What kind of women do you like?

Tall hot man

Wait are you seriously asking?

Pretty pretty man

Why wouldn’t I?

I’m curious!

Tall hot man

Ummm

Small?

And dominant?

Pretty pretty man

Oh my god

For a moment

I was thinking you’re gonna be like the stereotypical big guy

Tall hot man

Is that bad?

Pretty pretty man

Nah, just funny

And I wouldn’t actually shame you for liking what you like! 

Tall hot man

I believe you

But you know what I mean, right?

Cute but can and will order you around, you know?

Pretty pretty man

Yeah I get it

Tall hot man

What about you?

You can’t just put me on the spot and not reveal yours!

Pretty pretty man

Lol fair

Tall hot man

So

What kind of women do you like?

Pretty pretty man

The kind that can crush me

Tall hot man

So like… strong?

Tall?

Pretty pretty man

Sure

But you don’t have to be tall to snap someone like a toothpick?

Like you can be tiny and still crush me you know? 

It’s more the attitude than the physical capability!

Tall hot man

… you could have just said you like dominant women too, you know?

Pretty pretty man

I like the sound of “can crush me” better

***

Edgy emo authors

Prince

Oh fuck

I just talked to Yunho

And I realized we might both be subs

Or bottoms

Or we just both like dominant women

Mountain

Pfft

This is your concern???

Prince

Don’t judge me :(

I can hear you laughing through the wall!

Mountain

Sorry

But the fact that you two are

As you said

"Not dating, just friends for now"

And you’re worried about this

Is fucking hilarious

Like that’s not gonna be an actual problem you need to solve right now???

Prince

Saaaannnn :((

I mean you’re right but still!

Compatibility is important!

Mountain

And there are few things that can’t be solved with communication and compromises

When and/or if you ever actually have sex with him

Prince

Why do you have to give actual good advice when I’m being dumb and dramatic

Mountain

Because I’m a good friend and I love you ❤️

And you need someone to make you act less dumb

Prince

Apparently

And I think it might just be that both me and Yunho like dominant women

Like

A lot of people have a different taste in women than they do in men, right?

Mountain

Is this what you guys talk about?

Because it sounds like you’re trying to wingman each other

Or a weird version of speed dating

Prince

It’s friendly banter!

You act like I don’t talk about dick with you and Woo constantly

Mountain

True but the difference is

You don’t want to fuck us

Prince

And?

Mountain

From what I know, you DO want to fuck Yunho

Or get fucked by him

Idk it sounds weird to me for you two to talk about girls in that context 😂

Prince

You have no right to judge

I have too much dirt on you

Mountain

I’m not! I just can’t really relate here

Prince

Ok that’s fair

Btw I’m trying to bring him over today

For non-sexy, entirely friendly purposes

Mountain

Please do!

I want to finally meet him!

***

Bisaster Aid

Pretty pretty man

So… size kink 👀

Tall hot man

I refuse to discuss further without my lawyer present!

Besides... strength kink 👀

Pretty pretty man

I guess??

I like strong men too so

Tall hot man

Same

I mean

Who doesn’t love a man who can lift you?

Pretty pretty man

I could lift you

Tall hot man

sadfsdgfh

You’re welcome to try

Pretty pretty man

You can lift me in return

Tall hot man

Lol that’s not a challenge

Pretty pretty man

I might be heavier than I look

Especially if you keep feeding me macarons

Tall hot man

I can pick you up with like one arm

You’re tiny

Pretty pretty man

I can pick you up and do squats while holding you!

Tall hot man

Please don’t

You’ll drop me 

I’m too young to die

Pretty pretty man

I won’t drop you!

Come over, I’ll prove it!

Besides 

I haven’t introduced you to Wooyoung and San properly!

They want to meet you!

Tall hot man

Sure

Gimme the address and I’ll swing by in like an hour

And please don’t actually try to do the thing and get yourself hurt

Pretty pretty man

I will make sure you never doubt me again!

***

Babe but like, platonically

Tinky

Woo

Winky

San

Tinky

I’m convinced Yeosang is either really dumb and in denial

And somehow Yunho is too

Or they’re both just weirdly comfortable with each other from the get go and fine talking about girl preferences despite the obvious mutual interest in railing each other

Winky

What?

Tinky

Yeah I don’t get it either

Yeo called it “friendly banter”

How long did it take for us to share kinks and talk about dick?

Winky

About a month

Would have been sooner if you weren’t a prude

Tinky

I’m not a prude 😡

Winky

It took you ages to say "cock" without blushing

Tinky

…

Winky

Don’t try it, that’s exactly how it went

Yeosang claimed I ruined your innocence

Like he’s not just as bad

He’s like the personification of oddly subdued but chaotic horny

Tinky

You’re both the worst

Winky

He’s been a bad influence on me

And apparently he’s corrupting Yunho too?

Tinky

He’s very worried about their sex dynamic

Despite the fact that they haven’t gone on a single official date

I’m pretty sure their chat is just full of nasty

Winky

Lol

I bet it is

But I think you’re right

They’re probably just very comfortable with each other

Like we were right after you stopped being silly

But like speedrun mode

Tinky

I guess 😅

But good for them

Winky

Right

Now we just wait and see which comes first

First date

or “friendly” railing

Tinky

Unless Yunho is a gentleman who does things in the proper way

It’s gonna be the railing

Winky

Glad we agree

***

Midnight coffee runs

2ndHo

This is a public callout

Mingi hyung has no honor!

Hongdad

I fail to see how this is news in any way

Mingles

You’re supposed to side with me :(

Hongdad

What did you do now?

2ndHo

We had a bet

And he’s not honoring the bet when he lost!

Mingles

It was NOT a bet!

It was a “what if”!

Technically I didn’t even agree to do anything!

And how do you even know if you’re right????

2ndHo

I know everything

And you did agree

Considering when I said one month you said one and a half weeks!

That means you agreed!

Hongdad

Are you trying to get him to do the dishes?

2ndHo

As per our agreement!

Hongdad

… What was the non-bet what-if?

Mingles

Are Yunho and Yeosang talking nasty in their chat

2ndHo

Which they absolutely are

Mingles

I am once again asking HOW DO YOU KNOW

2ndHo

I know everything

Mingles

YUNHO

DID YOU BETRAY ME

YOU’RE HORRIBLE

BEST FRIEND PRIVILEGES ARE BEING LOST AS WE SPEAK

Hongdad

Is he even reading these…

2ndHo

He is now

And btw it wasn’t Yunho who told me

Yuyu

What’s happening?

Sorry I’m kinda occupied atm

Mingles

Then WHO

2ndHo

My boyfriend

Obviously

Mingles

How does HE know????

2ndHo

The same way you knew

Yuyu

Yeah I think Yeosang might talk to them the way I talk to you Mingi…

So you better take back what you just said

Mingles

Alright bestie privileges stay

I will direct my anger to the right address

2ndHo

At the dishes? They’re waiting in the sink

Mingles

Tell San he’s dead to me

Yuyu

I can relay the message too

He’s in the same room with me

Hongdad

Wait what?

Yuyu

Yeah I’m at their place

Yeosang invited me over to hang out

Hongdad

He’s working fast

And you seem surprisingly composed

Yuyu

I’m very much NOT composed

I’m screaming internally

I’m trying to calm down

And I’m scared one of them will read over my shoulder

Mingles

Aren’t they all like a head shorter?

Yuyu

Yes but Yeosang can lift me up and do squats while holding me up bridal style

2ndHo

That’s hot

Yuyu

YOU DON’T SAY

I DIDN’T THINK HE WOULD ACTUALLY DO IT

Hongdad

Did he actually do that???

Yuyu

YES

HE DID THAT

Picked me up like it was easy

While Wooyoung and San cheered

This is not good for my health hyung!

Hongdad

Try not to get hard while you’re there

I don’t think it’s polite to do that on the first visit

Especially since apparently there are other people in the house

Yuyu

I’m distracting myself by talking to you guys

And listening to Wooyoung pondering over his dinner plans

The downside is that it’s making me hungry

Mingles

Being hungry is still less embarrassing than being visibly horny

***

Leech (affectionate)

San

I am shocked and appalled

Jjong❤️

Why?

San

By the fact that you haven't introduced Yunho before!!!

HOW

IS HE SO SWEET

IS THAT ALLOWED

Jjong❤️

It's all an act

In reality he's a hot mess

San

But he's a sweet hot mess!!!

I totally get why Yeo is smitten

Jjong❤️

Did he really lift Yunho up and do squats?

San

He did two and a half squats

But that counts I guess

Jjong❤️

Lol

Amateur

I could have done at least 10

San

Of course!

You’re the strongest ❤️❤️❤️

Jjong❤️

So

How is he doing otherwise?

Because he’s screaming at us

San

He’s good at hiding it then

They’re giving me so much whiplash honestly

Like they did that

And they totally have this look

Like they wanna dick each other down so bad

But they’re also just acting like friends

Jjong❤️

I’m sure they’ll get around to it soon enough

San

I mean there’s no doubt

But at least it doesn’t make us feel like we’re third-wheeling with Woo for now

And Yunho is super nice omg

Where did you find him?

Jjong❤️

Mingi brought him in

And you don’t take a puppy for one summer

You have to commit

So now he’s ours forever

San

He’s your puppy?

Jjong❤️

Look at him and tell me he doesn’t look like one

San

Ok fair

Totally a puppy

Jjong❤️

I’m gathering a whole zoo here

A puppy

A sloth of a roommate

Hongjoong hyung kinda looks like a squirrel

And I got a rare kitten-leech hybrid as well

San

Hey 😡

Jjong❤️

It’s true

San

But you love meeeeeee :(

Jjong❤️

I never said I didn’t?

San

Why you bully meeeeee

Jjong❤️

Is stating facts bullying?

San

I’m gonna cling on you super hard when I next see you and become a true leech

Jjong❤️

As long as my neck isn’t purple after that

I need to look decent

San

Then you better wear a button-up so I can have easier access to stake my claim!

Jjong❤️

Lol

***

Catboy committee🐾

Wooyoung🔪

EMERGENCY

San⛰️

A real emergency

Or a dinner emergency?

Yeosang✨

He’s wailing on the couch clutching on a cookbook

It’s the latter

Wooyoung🔪

THIS IS SERIOUS

Seonghwa🌠

What is it now

Wooyoung🔪

I hit a big roadblock :((((

Here I was

Planning a delicious menu

And then it hit me

UNPROVOKED

San⛰️

What is it??

Wooyoung🔪

I don’t know how to make a dessert!!!

Like a good one!!!

That would fit the menu!!!

Yeosang✨

Omg not the dessert!!!

That IS serious

Seonghwa🌠

Is it?

Yeosang✨

Hyung!

You’ve been to a restaurant!

If everything else is good but the dessert is shit

Are you gonna think of the good meal you had after you leave?

NO

You’re thinking of how disappointing the dessert was!

Seonghwa🌠

You’re literally a culinary school student Wooyoung

Wooyoung🔪

And I don’t make desserts!

I’m not a pastry chef!

Seonghwa🌠

But I’m pretty sure someone else there is?

Ask someone to teach you?

All you need is to learn one dessert that fits your menu and that you can make

Wooyoung🔪

Omg hyung you're right

I love you ❤️

San⛰️

Hey

Isn’t there someone you know who IS going to be a pastry chef?

Who you could very easily ask?

And who’s probably going to be on that dinner anyway?

Wooyoung🔪

…

Wow

Suddenly I feel dumb for not immediately seeing that

San⛰️

It’s okay to be a little dumb

Wooyoung🔪

Choi San stop turning my own words against me

***

📢Yoooooo

Wooyoungie

Heyyyyyyyy

I need a favor

Binnie

I’m not helping with anything that ends up with us getting arrested

Wooyoungie

When have we ever gotten arrested?

Binnie

You have a criminal mind

And you look like a raccoon

So excuse me for expecting you to try to draft me into your evil little schemes

Wooyoungie

Wow rude

Anyway

I need your boyfriend’s number

Binnie

So you can draw him into your nefarious plans?

Nice try

Keep your criminal paws off my baby

Wooyoungie

It’s not criminal!

It’s for food purposes!

You will benefit from this!

Binnie

Well why didn’t you just say so???

Wooyoungie

I literally just did???

Just send it

Chapter Text

Wooyoung created a new chat

Wooyoung added Felix to the chat

Wooyoung

Hi hi!

Felix

Wooyoung hyung?

Hi~

This is unexpected

Wooyoung

Got your number from Binnie!

How’s my favorite pastry chef doing?

Felix

I’m doing great! And you?

Wooyoung

Pretty good buuuut

There’s a tiny little favor I wanna ask you

You see

I don’t think I mentioned it to Changbin yet

But I’m going to host a dinner party soon-ish

Felix

Ooooo

Cool!

Wooyoung

And I’m gonna invite him

And you of course as his +1!

… Now that I think of it I'm basically inviting you first here and he's the +1 but anyway

Semantics!

Felix

Ohhh

Thanks! I’d be happy to come!

Wooyoung

Great 😊 I’m gonna make a delicious dinner!

Buuut

I have a problem!

I don’t really know how to make desserts

Soooo

Is there any chance you could teach me how to make some? 👉👈

Felix

Well you promised free dinner so of course~

What do you have in mind?

Wooyoung

I got a couple options that I think could go with the menu well

But I kinda want your input since you know more about desserts?

So I can send you my plan for reference and then you can come over and we can practice?

Felix

Sounds good!

Is Wednesday evening ok? I can bring Changbin too!

We need someone to test what we make after all

Wooyoung

Sure

He can entertain San and Yeosang and they can talk about their gym routines or something while stuffing their faces with all the sweet things we make

Felix

Haha yeah

See you on Wednesday~

***

Tired & Miserable (NOT OLD)

Joong

Hey I forgot to ask earlier

Did you settle things with Wooyoung?

Hwa

I did!

He was pretty forgiving thank god

Yeosang and San won’t murder me either

Probably

And I’ll show up at the dinner

That at least should make everything ok

Joong

Well done!

Now…👀

Hwa

What?

Joong

Who is he?

Hwa

??????

Joong

I told you Wooyoung was obviously flirting and you straight up ignored that

Even you aren’t that dense

Which drives me to the conclusion there’s someone else since you’re not warming up to him

Hwa

I have no idea what you’re talking about

And Wooyoung is just being Wooyoung

He plays around like that

Joong

Delusion - convince yourself!

Hwa

Don’t be mean :(

Joong

I am once again asking

Who is he?

Hwa

Not telling you since you’re mean!

Joong

Don’t be like that 🥺

You can tell me

I can be your wingman

Hwa

Hongjoong you’re the worst wingman I could ever have and we both know that

Joong

I’m not!

Lies and slander!

Hwa

You’re even more awkward with people than I am!

Like how you even managed to snag a boyfriend???

Joong

He followed me like a lost duckling during his first year, mostly

It was kinda endearing and then I found out that he’s smart and sweet and everything kinda happened by itself?

So basically Mingi did most of the work

Hwa

… not fair

Joong

There’s literally a man out to get you but pine away I guess

I’ll find out your secret crush sooner or later

Hwa

No you won’t

Joong

Wanna bet?

***

Bisaster Aid

Pretty pretty man

I haven’t gotten any texts today from anyone :o

Are you alive

Tall hot man

Just about

Remind me that I should never dare you to do anything ever again

Pretty pretty man

Are you sure?

You might miss on many opportunities with that

Tall hot man

I might?

Pretty pretty man

You might

 You could try to goad me into committing nefarious acts you know?

Tall hot man

Like what?

Breaking into a candy shop?

Pretty pretty man

Oh that’s a good idea!

Not gonna do it though :p

Tall hot man

Yeah best not

I might have to bail you out and then explain my parents where all that money went

Pretty pretty man

Bold of you to assume I would get caught

But glad to hear you would bail me out of jail ❤️

Tall hot man

Of course!

But yeah I’m not gonna dare you to do that

Pretty pretty man

I feel like San would stop me before I could get to it

Tall hot man

I would stop you

Do you get dared to do a lot of things…?

Pretty pretty man

Not really?

Mostly San and Wooyoung try to use that tactic to get cuddles

Tall hot man

Why?

Pretty pretty man

Because my cuddles are superior, and rare and valuable

And great leverage when I have to get my way because I don’t do it that often ;)

Tall hot man

Ohhhhh

Clever

However

As a 

Ahem

Seasoned cuddle veteran

I am suspicious of this claim of superiority

Pretty pretty man

😱

You dare question the quality of my cuddles?!

Tall hot man

I have not seen sufficient evidence of their quality, sir

Pretty pretty man

…

Is this a ploy to get cuddles?

This sounds like a ploy to get free cuddles

Tall hot man

Is it working?

Pretty pretty man

Yes

Mostly because you’re cute

And because I need to sample how good yours are

Tall hot man

sdhfgf

You can’t call me cute out of nowhere!

Pretty pretty man

Why not ;)

Tall hot man

It destroys my brain cells

I only have a few left!

Pretty pretty man

Well I’m happy to see that my master plan of getting you down to one so we can be on the same level is working

Tall hot man

Evil

Pretty pretty man

Wooyoung corrupted me as a child

I’ve been a lost cause for years

So… your place or mine?

Tall hot man

… should I ignore the suggestive undertone

Pretty pretty man

For cuddles!

Absolutely nothing else

Tall hot man

I know I know

Um

Sure you can come over

If you give me like 45 minutes to clean up

Pretty pretty man

You saw our apartment

Yours can’t be that much worse

Right?

You don’t strike me as someone who lives in a wasteland

Tall hot man

It’s not BAD

But I need the outside pressure to actually pick up the vacuum

So you coming over is that

Pretty pretty man

For now at least

We’ll see how it is in like two weeks

Tall hot man

Lol you’re right

I’ll send you the address

[ location sent ]

Pretty pretty man

I’ll bring snacks!

***

Tired & Miserable (NOT OLD)

Joong

By the way

I need advice

Hwa

Kim Hongjoong asking for advice?

That’s a new one

Joong

I consult my friends very often thank you very much

Hwa

Not me though?

Am I a last resort? :(

Joong

Most of the time you’re too busy and I don’t wanna bother you

But now

I feel like I have to ask you first

You’re the romance expert

Hwa

… that’s

Unexpected

I thought you were a strict anti-romantic

Joong

I am

Which is why I’m asking you!

Hwa

I see 😂

How can I help?

Joong

Anniversary gifts

Hwa

Ohhhhhh

When’s the day again?

Joong

In like 2 weeks

Hwa

I didn’t even realize you’ve been together that long

Wow

So do you have any plans yet?

Joong

No because this is VERY out of my comfort zone and I have no idea what to do!

How does being romantic work??

How do I romance my boyfriend???

Hwa

Oh my god you're hopeless

Are you at the studio?

Joong

Aren’t I always?

Hwa

I just got done with my essay

I can come over there so we can brainstorm

Joong

Thanks

You’re a lifesaver

***

Don’t bro me

Mingles

Heyyyy

I need help

Yuyu

What’s going on?

My ability to help is very limited right now

Mingles

Just advice ok?

I’m kinda out of ideas so I need you to inspire me

Yuyu

I can try

The itching is very distracting though

Mingles

What are you doing?

Yuyu

Sitting on the bathroom floor while the bleach eats my hair

Finally got around to doing that too

Mingles

Oh you’re finally going blonde?

Wait are you bleaching your hair alone?

Oh god

Yuyu

Not alone!

Yeosang is helping!

Like I would have asked for you to do it but he came over and I mentioned it and then he offered to help since he’s done it before many times to himself and to his friends so

Mingles

I see

SOoooooooo

You got pretty boy over 😏

Yuyu

I got pretty boy sitting on a stool behind me so you better be mindful of that

Mingles

Oh please as if he doesn’t talk about your dick to his friends in another chat as we speak