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Hal's first thought when he wakes up is, ow, fuck. Then, what the fuck? And then, as the memories of last night come rushing back - oh, fuck.
He throws an arm over his face before he tries opening his eyes again, blinking up at the familiar sight of Guy's ceiling through the sunlight that feels like it's actively targeting him with how much it hurts.
He could just leave.
He has his ring, the window's open already and Guy might be pissed enough that he won't chase him down so - he could just leave.
But, Hal thinks, looking over at the nightstand, to the glass of water and painkillers Guy must've set out for him last night, after dragging his drunk ass to bed. He thinks he can smell bacon, too, so Guy's probably cooking breakfast for him.
He could leave, and Guy might not chase him down - but it'd hurt him, and Hal - Hal has hurt Guy too much already.
So... he takes the pain meds, and leaves the bedroom through the door.
Guy's in the kitchen, making his favorite hangover breakfast, bacon, eggs and toast - his favorite breakfast in general. Good american food, he calls it.
Good american bacon isn't made from turkey, Hal always replies, just to make Guy scoff and bluster.
He's such a softie, underneath it all.
Simon doesn't even care about keeping halal that much, and Hal hasn't been religious for decades. And yet, Guy always makes sure the food he has is kosher and halal, just in case, not that he'd ever admit it.
It's all so familiar, Hal thinks with a sad smile, like nothing's wrong and they're still together, instead of -
Instead of Hal fucking everything up beyond repair, like always.
"Hey", he says, feeling bad and awkward, making Guy look over his shoulder at him, face pinched as he looks away again.
Hal swallows, mouth painfully dry.
"I should go", he says, watching Guy's back tense, before he sighs and turns around, leaning against the counter.
"What good's that gonna do?"
He's looking at him, but Hal can't bring himself to meet his eyes.
"Look, I appreciate... you doing this, but -"
"Shut the fuck up", Guy interrupts, "and sit down."
"Guy", Hal says, and Guy turns away again, fumbling around with the pans.
"Breakfast's gonna be ready any minute now", he says, "so - sit down and let me talk to you. Don't you owe me that much, after making me come pick your drunk ass up at ass o'clock?"
Hal sits, staring at his hands on the table.
"You didn't have to", he says, and Guy sighs disdainfully. "You didn't! I'd have been fine."
"Sure you would've", Guy scoffs, "Not like you were too drunk to walk straight, in a seedy bar, alone, and had already shown you're a Lantern to the whole place - oh, wait."
"That's not", Hal says, "You could've sent someone else."
"Hey John", Guy says in a mocking tone, pretending to be on the phone. "Yes, I know it's three a.m. and you were sleeping, but Hal just drunk dialed me and I'm too much of a bitch to deal with my ex in a reasonable manner so you need to come pick him up for me. No, I'm not acting like a teenage girl, what are you talking about?"
"Shut up", Hal says sullenly.
"You shut up", Guy snaps, angrily and loudly pulling plates from his cupboards. "I'm allowed to demand an explanation for you calling me, crying and begging me to take you back, Jordan."
He did that, didn't he, Hal thinks, looking away as Guy walks towards the table.
"Hal", Guy says, sliding a plate towards him. "Hal, you're the one who broke up with me and then avoided me for the next three months, what the fuck is going on?"
"I thought that'd be obvious", Hal says, voice rough, grabbing the plate reflexively. "I thought I was quite clear."
"About fucking what", Guy snaps, sounding angry, but when Hal looks up at him, he just looks hurt. "You realized being single was even worse than being with me, or what? Cuz - cuz breaking up with me after I caught you cheating for the third time sounds a very clear message that's the exact opposite of last night."
"That's not what I -" Hal says, mouth dry. "Of course being single is worse than being with you."
"Then why'd you break up with me", Guy demands, "Why'd you keep cheating? I would've given you another chance if you'd just explained."
"I know you would have", Hal says, "That's why I had to end it."
"So what?" Guy says, barking out a dry laugh. "You realized I was too fucking stupid to end it for you, so you had to man up and -"
"I was going to cheat again", Hal interrupts. "I would've promised not to do it again, and you would've trusted me and given me another chance, and I would've cheated again, and it would have broken your heart and I couldn't do that to you. Not again."
"You -" Guy says, trailing off, mouth hanging open as he stares at Hal. "You broke up with me... cuz you didn't want to hurt me? But - you already knew you were - did you know the other times too, that you wouldn't keep your promises?"
"I... yeah", Hal admits, looking away. "I knew."
"So why keep fucking going? Why didn't you just say that then?!"
"Because I love you!" Hal shouts, hands hitting the table, hard, as he springs to his feet. "I love you, and I wanted it to work, and I knew it wouldn't, but I wanted it to!"
"Then why keep cheating!" Guy yells back, getting to his feet.
"I tried to stop!" Hal shouts, and then loses his drift entirely, hanging his head. "I tried."
"That's not an explanation", Guy says, much more quietly. "Just tell me why, Hal."
"I don't know", Hal says, blinking hard and not looking at him.
"That's what you said the first time too", Guy says, and Hal can hear him step around the table. "And then you said you didn't mean to. And then, the third time, you just - fucked off."
He places his hands on Hal's shoulders, but Hal keeps his head turned away.
"Just tell me the truth", Guy demands, "Is it something I was doing? Was it - was it the sex, was I that bad? Did I - smother you, or -"
"No", Hal says, yells, grabbing at Guy, pushing him back, hands suddenly fisted in his jacket. "You didn't do shit! I don't fucking know why! If I knew, I'd be able to stop, but I can't! I never managed to have any relationship without cheating, with anyone and I don't even know why!"
He's breathing hard, way too close to Guy, who just looks shocked.
"Even Carol?"
Hal - he can't help himself. He chokes out a humorless laugh.
"Of course her too. Everyone."
Something in Guy's face goes unreadable, and Hal forces himself to uncurl his hands, to step back, tensing in preparation of getting thrown out.
"Why", he asks instead, again, and when Hal opens his mouth to snap at him, he presses a hand over his mouth. "You don't wake up a random morning and go 'I have to go cheat today', do you?"
"No", Hal says, looking away when Guy takes his hand away. "I just... Everything's fine for a few months, and then I just... start feeling bad."
"That's -"
"I know how stupid it is", Hal snaps, "I know it's wrong! If I could stop, I would, but I can't! I'm fucking miserable in any relationship, unless I cheat and I'm too big an idiot to just give it up all together."
"I don't think that's what makes you an idiot", Guy says, much calmer than is fair. Hal wants to snap at him, make him lose his calm. He wants to fall into his arms and promise to do better, to change, anything as long as Guy doesn't leave him.
Guy gently cradles his head in his hands, forcing him to look at him.
"I don't want you to be miserable", he says softly. "It's not because of me?"
"How could it be because of you?" Hal says, feeling himself get choked up. "You're - so fucking amazing, I can't - I'll try harder for you, I promise, you can - check my phone, and put a tracker on me, I'll do better, Guy, please -"
"That'd make you so fucking miserable", Guy says, gently brushing his tears away with his thumb. "And I don't want you to be miserable."
"I love you", Hal says, crying openly now. "Guy, I love you so much, I promise I'll do better -"
"I believe you", Guy says, and it sounds so honest that Hal just cries harder.
"The people you go to", Guy asks, much calmer than he should be, "They're not like - You're not dating them, are you?"
"No", Hal says, perplexed, "Why are you -"
"I think I can live with that", Guy interrupts. "Just... stop lying to me, okay? I don't want to know details, but I think I'm fine with you dipping to have flings from time to time."
"What?" Hal says, heart beating loudly in his ears. "You're fine with me cheating?"
"It's not cheating if I'm in on it", Guy says with a grin that only looks a little forced. "I don't know if I could deal with you falling in love with someone else, or having a regular partner, but - we'll see, yeah? You tell me when you're going out to pick someone up, or when the status quo changes, or you start feeling bad again, and I see what I'm cool with. Alright?"
"But that's not right", Hal says numbly, making Guy roll his eyes.
"You're not my christian housewife from the fifties, Jordan, chill. We can do what we want."
"If anyone's a housewife it's you", Hal gasps out, too many emotions cutting off his breath. Then, he throws himself forward, clinging to Guy and crying into his shoulder.
"Babe", Guy says gently.
"I love you", Hal mumbles into his skin, "I love you so much, you're so much better than I deserve, I'll make it work, I promise."
He can feel Guy heave a breath in his arms, and then he feels a kiss on his head.
"I love you too."