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Chapter Text

Mikasa Ackerman stretched as she woke. The soft light in her log cabin did very little in the way of making her eyes open more than halfway, such was the nature of how tired she was. The eight hours of sleep she got per night was certainly enough, per se. But she needed more. Sleep was the only time where Mikasa didn’t have to think. She didn’t have to face how well and truly awful she was.

She got up, slowly trudging out to the kitchen to get herself some tea. On the way, she pulled back her hair from out of her eyes. It hung all the way to her waist now. If she were being honest, she just couldn’t be bothered to cut it or have it cut.

Going into Shiganshina to have it cut was an especially threatening prospect. Mikasa hadn’t said a word out loud in more than a year.

She sent written correspondence to her friends (or more specifically, Armin Arlert) overseas once a month. On Paradis? She knew a grand total of three people, One of them was Yelena, who was in prison for crimes against humanity. The others were Queen Historia Reiss, to whom she was somewhat estranged (though Historia was allied with New Marley), and Hitch Dreyse, who was aligned with the Jaegerists.

There it was. A reminder of the object of her misery: the late Eren Jaeger. It had been a total of seven years since his death now.

Since she killed him. Since she looked into the eyes of the boy she grew up with, the man she fell in love with, and cut off his head.

Of course, seeing as he had brought about the Rumbling, this was not only a morally just action, but a necessary one to save what little was left of humanity. Mikasa, had Armin not been sympathetic enough to take the credit and save her the additional suffering, would have been hailed perhaps as history’s greatest hero.

So what did that make Mikasa if a part of her regretted ever doing it? The little girl who (sometimes) kept him out of trouble was still partially loyal to Eren until and past the end. How could someone so reluctant to do the right thing reasonably be heralded?

Teacup in hand, she wandered outside. It was three days into September, and Armin always wrote a letter around this time. And to her satisfaction, there was indeed a letter in the mail, no doubt written with fancy Marleyan stationary. He, along with Jean, Reiner, and a few other members of the alliance formed during the Rumbling, were parliament members overseas and occasional Paradisian ambassadors, working to govern New Marley and maintain peace between the two nations. She opened the envelope, reading his loopy handwriting on the doorstep.

Mikasa, dear friend,

I am pleased to hear of Shiganshina’s recent installation of telephone wires. Soon, we’ll be able to talk without needing to rely on letters. And, I might add, Annie will be pleased to see me get more use out of our telephone (they’re quite expensive over here!).

Speaking of Annie, there’s a particular purpose to this specific letter: she and I are to be married on the thirtieth of this month! I’m aware that you decided not to attend Jean’s wedding, but it would mean the world to us both if you could attend. Furthermore, everyone’s asking if you’re coming, so your correspondence would be appreciated as soon as possible.

As far as living arrangements are concerned, Levi has offered a room in his apartment. He doesn’t show it, but I think he’s excited to see you again, perhaps even more so than anyone else. Enclosed is a photograph of Annie and I immediately post-proposal (pardon Connie in the background, he was doing his best to act as a “wingman,” to Annie’s dismay).

Sincerely,

Armin Arlert

The photograph in question displayed the two blondes beaming, arms around each other and rings on full display (and Connie, sure enough, holding his groin in what could only be pain). Some politician, she thought, rolling her eyes. If only Mikasa could laugh. Not even Connie (and, realistically, probably also Jean) being ridiculous could elicit a giggle.

She went back inside. Strangely enough, she actually did plan on attending. The day after Jean and Pieck were married, she woke up on the verge of vomiting, wracked with guilt over her inaction. How bad would it be if she missed the wedding of her closest living friend? She wasn’t going to find out.

In fact, she was going to go right now. She pulled out a suitcase from her closet and began throwing clothes haphazardly inside. It was a purchase she made when news of the Kirsteins’ wedding first reached her. And that was her mistake: allowing herself to get so deep in her own head over something she almost certainly wouldn’t have hated.

Not today, though. There was a train that ran back and forth between the docks, where ferries between the island and New Marley went back and forth four times a day. She could at least catch an evening ferry and be there in the morning.

Bless her luck! She didn’t even end up having to say a word, on account of running into shady-looking people harking marked-up tickets to both the train and boat who handed over their goods immediately upon seeing the money. No conversation was necessary. The money came from Historia, who, after being informed of Mikasa’s actions with the alliance, decided that her retirement ought to be guaranteed. To be more specific, the queen gifted her former comrade a decent sum of money every two months.

Mikasa stood at the railing overlooking the starboard side. Her luggage was still clutched in her hand. This was hardly a well-planned endeavor. She didn’t pack nearly enough clothes for the minimum of three weeks, and depending on when the ferry arrived, it was questionable if she’d be able to get to Levi’s apartment at a period of time where he was awake. Then again, it was ten at night and the boat had only just departed. And after the six-hour boat ride, it would take another two hours to walk to the tea shop where Levi lived from the Marleyan shore. So in all likelihood, there was time to spend.

Which brought to light the biggest downside of the journey: Mikasa would not be sleeping tonight. This was one of the lower-end ferries that did not offer cabins for passengers. That meant eight hours more than usual of being alone with her thoughts. She’d brought only two items as a means of distraction: the letter and the photograph. For now, she chose to observe the photograph.

A startling realization was made: this was the first time Mikasa had ever seen Annie smile. She wondered if this was common for her, if it was even an everyday occurrence that Annie smiled. Mikasa tugged at her scarf, the same one that Eren gave her. She looked up at the moon. It was full, and surrounded by tiny little stars. Could she do that? Could she ever find the same happiness as Annie, Armin, and her other friends?

Chapter Text

I can’t do this, Mikasa thought. How could I ever explain why I didn’t go to their wedding?

She had made it to Marley in time for Levi’s tea shop to open. Judging by the glass counter displaying various pastries, he had even expanded his clientele and market. But that was how Mikasa was seeing this: from the outside window, back turned to the bustling streets.

She had decided to put her hair back down. Based on what she’d seen from the populace, such a style was somewhat in fashion. Blending in seemed like a good decision. Mikasa was in Marley for her friends, and no one else.

The main cause of her current spike of anxiety was the sight of Jean Kirstein and Pieck Finger, sitting side by side in a booth and chatting animatedly. There wasn’t much of a choice but to go by them if she wanted to find Levi, who wasn’t visible.

Deep breaths, she reminded herself. You’ve fought against more Titans than anyone can count. A little tea shop won’t kill you. Fighting the urge to throw up, Mikasa opened the door and a little bell rang. Shaky legs carried her to the counter. A young woman with long brown hair and bright eyes cheerfully asked, “Good morning, how may I help you?”

“Is-” Mikasa cleared her throat. This was the first time she’d used her vocal cords in over a year. “Is Levi Ackerman in?”

“Yes, he’s…” The woman trailed off, squinting slightly. She then gasped. “Mikasa?! Is that you?! It’s me, Gabi!”

Mikasa nodded. Though she didn’t mind seeing Gabi, the girl was quite loud. And that could bring attention she didn’t want.

“Follow me, please,” she said, practically bouncing over to where the patrons sat. Mikasa’s heart thundered in her chest. Please don’t be doing what I think you’re doing…

Alas, the youngest Ackerman’s worst fears were confirmed when Gabi stopped at the same dreaded table that she’d nervously eyed from outside. Jean and Pieck had hardly aged a day between them since she’d last seen them in person some four years ago, but one particularly important development was now incredibly clear.

Pieck was pregnant.

Mikasa’s breath hitched. It was only a year ago that they were married, right? It was especially surprising when considering the implications of Jean’s character. When they first met, he was a bit rude to others (granted, his words were nearly always accurate), constantly bickering and physically fighting with Eren. Hell, the last time they’d met, some four years ago, he and Pieck weren’t even an item. And now he was one of the most influential politicians in the world, a married man, and soon, a father?

She sat down, awkwardly shaking the couple’s hands. Jean was the first to speak, enthusiastically saying, “Holy shit, Mikasa, glad you could make it!” as Gabi walked away.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered back. “There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t regret missing your wedding.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” Pieck gently reassured her. “It’s perfectly acceptable if you felt like you weren’t up to the occasion.”

“Yeah, we’re not mad at all,” Jean easily said.

“Oh,” Mikasa still found it difficult to meet their gazes. But when she forced herself to wrench her head upwards, both of them were smiling at her, encouraging her. With that in mind, she decided to hazard a question towards Pieck. “How far along are you?”

“Nearly seven months,” she said. “I’m due in mid-November. But I might add that thanks to six-foot-three over here…” she elbowed Jean, “I look a lot further along than I actually am. Kid’s gigantic.”

“Oh, please,” Jean said. “With your five-foot-one genes? The little bastard’s going to end up at a perfectly normal height.”

While the two ribbed each other, a peculiar tapping noise accompanied slow footsteps coming close. Someone very familiar to Mikasa came up to the booth, leaning on a walking stick.

“Morning, brats.” Levi had barely aged since the Rumbling. The bandages were gone from his face, showing that one of his eyes was closed and a scar ran across it, and his hair was a little greyer, but aside from that, he looked the same. Mikasa moved closer to the wall and Levi sat down next to her, leaning his cane against the seat. “Mikasa. Good to see you again.”

“You too, Cap- Levi.” Old habits, Mikasa bitterly thought. His eye appeared to widen at the old title, but he went back to normal immediately. She decided to change the subject. “I thought that Armin said you were in a wheelchair.”

Levi shrugged. “Doctor said the cane’s okay. Just as long as I don’t stay on my feet for too long.”

Mikasa nodded. Jean and Pieck were already back to teasing each other. The more they went at it, the further upwards the corners of their mouths went. Couples poking fun in such a way was always fascinating to her, and back in the day, she’d often fantasized about being able to be so casual with Eren. Something was always tense between them, though.

Like maybe he wasn’t lying that day when he said he hated her.

Even though Armin said that he was only trying to distance himself, she had never heard it from Eren himself. How bad did that make her? That she couldn’t even trust Armin’s word, the best friend she still-

“Mikasa.” Jean was talking to her again. “We’re hosting a dinner party tonight to celebrate Armin and Annie’s engagement. Feel free to drop by.”

“I’ll be there.” She said that without thinking about it. Kicking herself slightly, she asked, “Who else is coming?”

“Everyone. Armin, Annie, Reiner, Connie, Levi, Falco, Gabi…” Pieck trailed off. “Jean, did you remember to invite Onyankopon?”

“I did. He said he’d be there.”

“Okay. Everyone, then,” Pieck said with a nod, and Mikasa returned the gesture.

“C’mon, brat.” Levi stood back up with a grunt. “I’ll show you to your room.”

Levi’s apartment was above the cafe, up a stairwell in the kitchen. On the way, Mikasa was able to share a brief greeting with Falco, who had been living with Levi ever since the Rumbling. It blew her mind that the Marleyan children were grown up now. At nineteen, they were actually the same age that she was at the end of the war. It was impossible not to feel happy for them. They got to live their lives free of the need to fight, working in a cozy tea shop with Levi.

Mikasa laid her suitcase by her room’s door and sat on the bed. Her anxiety boiled up again, the reality of tonight’s dinner crashing down on her. Most of the people there were old friends, had already seen her today, were likely to be cordial (Onyankopon), or were unlikely to pay her much mind (Annie). There was one guest that truly scared her.

Reiner Braun.

Now, in the letters Armin sent her, Mikasa had gained the impression that Reiner was actually quite kind. But after everything that had gone down with them, she was worried about him carrying a grudge against her. After all, she’d both almost decapitated him and blew him out of the Armored Titan, among many other transgressions. Sure, he worked with Armin, Jean, and Connie, all of whom had fought him before, but nobody alive had quite hurt him like Mikasa had. But with how cold she was to her friends, on the behalf of her love for a mass murderer, who among the previous Scouts and Warriors couldn’t truthfully say that?

Chapter Text

“Hey, man, what’s up?”

That was Connie Springer speaking from the other room, the telephone receiver no doubt held to his head. He and Reiner Braun had been roommates since the grey-haired man moved to Marley, living in a flat near the parliamentary building. And whenever Jean called, that was the greeting Connie would respond with.

Initially, starting during the Rumbling, tensions had run high between Reiner and Jean. But over the years, mostly due to Reiner living with Connie, the two had somewhat softened up, being able to comfortably share space with one another.

Well, at least, they both acted like it.

Reiner figured that there was no way that Jean could ever forgive him for killing Marco. For crying out loud, he couldn’t even forgive himself for killing the boy, so how would the late soldier’s best friend? And that fear of judgment, the fear of never being accepted, was the main emotion decorating the abyssal halls of Reiner’s psyche.

“Hey, Reiner? You’re never gonna believe who showed up at the teashop,” Connie said, poking his head into the sitting room.

“I’d probably believe it. Tons of people go there,” Reiner shrugged.

“Would you believe Mikasa?” Connie asked.

“Fuck, really?” Reiner replied, to which Connie nodded. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah, she’s coming to the dinner party tonight. Oh, and so is President Leonhardt.”

“I was wondering why he got left out of his daughter’s engagement party,” mused the blonde man. The comedic back-and-forth with Connie was a typical interaction for him, in which Reiner would use a face of good-natured neutrality to mask the inner turmoil.

There could not have been a less opportune scenario for Reiner to avoid judgment. Even Jean, certainly the one with the most reason to hate Reiner among the six Alliance members who became parliament members, had had seven years now to move forwards and become a friend, however tentative. But Mikasa and Reiner hadn’t spoken to one another since the Battle of Heaven and Earth. Even when the rest of the Alliance visited her some four years back, they didn’t speak, they only nodded to one another before Armin, Jean, and Connie went to talk to her.

In short, there was no way she would forgive him. How many years had he been the de facto arch-nemesis of the love of her life, Eren Jaeger? And how many times had she nearly killed him? All that without mentioning the fact that he and Bertholdt were responsible for the destruction of her home.

He couldn’t even bring himself to blame Mikasa. He didn’t deserve the forgiveness he sought. A little part of Reiner considered Connie and Armin and Jean idiotic for moving forwards with him.

Of course, he could always resort to his favorite tactic when it came to large groups of his comrades: keep quiet and observe. And sure enough, that worked well enough at the dinner. He sat between Connie and Gabi, quietly sipping his cocktail and praying that he wouldn’t be spoken to.

Gabi and Connie were both in the middle of arguing with Jean over whether the upcoming baseball season would see anyone break the current home-run record of forty-two (and who it would be, if anyone). Everyone else was much quieter with their conversation, and neither Ackerman seemed to be talking at all.

Reiner looked to Pieck, who was talking to Annie. Figures, thought Reiner. Pieck was slated to be the maid of honor at the upcoming wedding. Pieck glanced back at him for a moment. Her gaze was impossible for Reiner to read. It wasn’t quite accusatory, nor was it inquisitive. The best way he could put it was that she gave off a strangely accepting aura.

Though it was nearly the autumn season, it was quite stuffy in the Kirsteins’ penthouse apartment. It was a notably warm day, and even the spacious dining room (Jean had a penchant for living luxuriously) felt slightly overcrowded. “Pardon me,” Reiner said, excusing himself from the table and heading straight for the balcony. He needed a cigarette.

He thanked his lucky stars that Jean hadn’t discarded the balcony’s ashtray (he’d quit smoking upon confirmation of Pieck’s pregnancy, wanting to get a head start on providing a good example). Reiner leaned backwards against the railing and sighed. Half a cigarette left, he figured that he’d go inside after it was done.

The door opened up, and Mikasa tentatively stepped out. Reiner’s heart raced. Better have a couple more, he thought, instinctively reaching for his pocket to ensure that there would be enough. Internally cringing as he realized that he was being quite rude, he looked up and nodded at his ex-enemy.

She nodded back, eyes pointed at the street. Her fingers gripped the railing to the extent where her knuckles turned white, and Reiner made a connection: she’s here because she’s anxious. Knowing what he would want in such a scenario, he cleared his throat, held out his pack of cigarettes, and plainly asked, “Care for one?”

Mikasa took one, whispering, “Thank you.” Reiner simply nodded his head and tossed his lighter over to her. She lit the end of the cigarette, only to cough violently upon taking a puff.

In response, he decided to ask, “Not a smoker?”

Mikasa shook her head, her long hair shimmying as she did. Reiner got a glimpse of the scar on her cheek. He felt a sting of pity. He knew the pain of being emotionally scarred by Eren, but she had to live with a physical reminder of his violence as well. “I needed a break,” she said.

“So did I,” he muttered. She didn’t ask for another cigarette when she finished hers, she only put it out in the ashtray and put up a hand when he held out the pack again.

Mikasa stayed outside while Reiner went through his second cigarette. She kept looking down at the street, only occasionally glancing back up, as if to check and see if he were still in his spot. He looked down, curious to see if there was anything happening down there. There really wasn’t, only the standard hustle of the bustling streets of New Liberio. Cars puttered along, their headlights blending in with the yellow streetlights. People laughed and chattered, and food vendors wheeling around carts barked out advertisements of their wares.

To Reiner, it was as ordinary a sight as any. But he realized that Mikasa lived in a lonely log cabin outside of Shiganshina. Though Paradis was steadily catching up to Marley’s technology, this sort of sight was still a ways away for the island.

He put out his cigarette and straightened his back, ready to head back inside. She followed him abruptly when he did, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. In a way, it reminded him of his own existence. The weight of the atrocities he’d committed would always trail him, and as long as he was accompanied by Paradisians who called him an ally, he would never find peace.

Chapter Text

“Oh, the fish stew is excellent,” Armin said. “Though I’ll warn you, it’s quite spicy.” He had taken Mikasa to lunch to catch up on old times, and recommended one of his favorite Marleyan cafes. Mikasa, not having enough knowledge on the area to dispute, decided to take him up on his offer. She trusted Armin’s judgment, though. He was far and away the smartest person she knew.

“I can handle spicy food,” she replied. Admittedly, Mikasa was still getting back into the swing of talking on a daily basis again. Her voice was hoarse and quiet, a far cry from the confident soldier from the war. Perhaps it was a reflection of how shattered she felt after Eren?

“I don’t doubt it,” Armin was as cheerful as Mikasa had ever seen him. It was borderline obscene to her. Back on Paradis, society was still somewhat shell-shocked, with all but the Jaegerists keeping their heads down and trying to mull about their lives. Come to think of it, the population of Marley seemed… more carefree. In that sense, Mikasa stood out like a sore thumb.

Post-Rumbling, the once-segregated nation nearly unanimously rejected the cycle of hatred, with Eldians and other races being able to freely interact and mingle. A new, more democratic form of governance was instilled, with limited terms for the president (currently Annie’s father) and parliament members alike.

Perhaps that was the key. Being able to leave the past behind. Armin certainly had. And Mikasa, who’d not smiled in at least four years, was stuck on a man who almost certainly never loved her back and wiped out the human population-

“We’ll take two of the fish stew,” Armin said to the cheery waitress, unintentionally snapping Mikasa out of her trance.

The waitress walked off with their ticket and menus, and Mikasa decided to offer an inquiry. “What has you in such a good mood?”

“Well, there’s only twenty-three days until the wedding,” he chuckled. “Now that I’m saying it out loud, I suppose it doesn’t matter too much. It won’t change how I feel about Annie.”

“Hm.” Mikasa twirled her spoon in her hand. “May I ask how you fell for her?”

“It might not make too much since,” Armin looked up at the sky. They were seated on the cafe’s patio, and a lovely blue sky decorated with white clouds hung over their heads. “Did I tell you what she did to me? As the Female Titan?”

“Before or after the…” Mikasa trailed off.

“Before. When we’d only just joined the Survey Corps, and she attacked the regiment. She was looming over me, I thought I was going to die. But you know what she did?” A shake of the head prompted Armin to continue, “She looked at me, smiled, and spared my life. And, obviously, that didn’t stop me from doing my best to apprehend her. Though that was when I realized, maybe she didn’t want to be a killer. Maybe she didn’t have a choice.”

“And then you started… visiting her?”

“Mhm. I figured there was no way she could hear me, but during the final battle, she said that she was grateful for the company.” He took a long sip of water. “And I think the bottom line is, Annie is the most empathetic person I have ever met. She doesn’t just know how others are feeling, she feels it with them. And that makes her so- so understanding, in such a way that-” He stopped mid-sentence. “I can’t describe it. I just love her.”

“That makes sense.” Mikasa joined him in taking a drink. She didn’t know exactly what to say. Armin’s speech bore quite a good deal of resemblance to how she felt about Eren. The key difference, if she had to choose, was that she admired Eren’s drive and passion in much the same way that Armin admired Annie’s knack for empathy.

Maybe that was a sign that Mikasa’s love was doomed from the start. Empathy, in the way Annie displayed it, was a trait that would feed into itself by means of giving her the same experience, positive or negative, as those around her. But when Eren’s particular drive fed into itself, it only ever seemed to breed destruction.

Realizing that she’d been silent for too long, Mikasa added, “I’m glad that you’re happy.” She truly was. If anyone she knew deserved happiness, it was probably Armin.

Later that afternoon, she came home to Levi’s apartment, cutting through the kitchen of the teashop as usual. Levi was the only one upstairs, with Falco being busy finishing up a table of twelve’s tea with Gabi. Immediately upon opening the door, the middle-aged ex-soldier looked up from the newspaper and asked, “I hate to do this right when you get back, but can you do me a favor?”

“Yes, that’s fine.” Mikasa didn’t mind helping Levi out around the house. He couldn’t help having a bad knee.

“Reiner stopped by earlier, and he left his jacket. Can you run over to his apartment and drop it off?” Levi asked.

Mikasa’s heart sank to her toes. That might have been the worst possible favor for him to ask, given the implications of what it entailed. Still, she couldn’t exactly say no to Levi. Not after he allowed her into his home and through his silence, offered her solace. “I’ll do it.”

“Thank you, Mikasa.” She nodded at him before taking off.

Perhaps the scariest part of seeing Reiner was how standoffish he was. Not in a necessarily cold way, but in a tentative way. As if he were afraid that she would hurt him again.

In short, she didn’t fear seeing the blonde man for her own sake. She feared it for his. Mikasa was of the opinion that she’d caused Reiner enough turmoil in his life. He didn’t need any more.

She knocked on the door of his flat, praying that Connie would be the one to answer the door. No such luck. Reiner’s familiar small, golden eyes looked into hers, clearly somewhat apprehensive. “Good afternoon,” he politely said.

“You left your coat at Levi’s,” Mikasa spilled, holding out the garment. “I brought it back.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize.” He gingerly picked it up. “Thank you.”

“It’s no trouble,” Mikasa said, fighting back a wince at her wording. Great. Now he probably thinks you want to torture him.

Both former enemies stood awkwardly in the doorway for another minute or so, avoiding eye contact like the plague. Eventually, Reiner shifted his feet around. “Would, um, would you like something to drink?”

“No, I should really be going,” said Mikasa, performing the same shift as him. “Thank you for offering, though.”

“I see. Well, thanks again for the coat.” He began closing the door.

“No problem.” Once she said that, he gave a thumbs up and fully shut the door. She placed her head in her hands. By refusing his offer, she’d effectively sent mixed signals. Reiner couldn’t not hate her. Mikasa knew he was smart, smart enough to hate her for all she’d put him through. For the scars he’d have if the Armored Titan didn’t keep them off his skin. And by giving him the courtesy of leaving when she did, she’d teased him. He’d now have to balance having been forced to see her by circumstance and her being merciful enough to leave him to his own devices.

Chapter Text

Reiner was lucky to be sitting where he was. Third row seats at the first baseball game of the fall season, right behind home plate. To his left were his mother, Gabi, and Connie, and to his right were three empty seats. Connie and Gabi were probably the two biggest baseball fans he knew. They didn’t even follow teams like most fans, they kept track of individual players and were betting only on who would score the most runs, who would hit the most home runs, who would have the most impressive batting average, and other such categories.

“Reiner, dear,” said his mother, “Are we going to be hit by any stray balls?” Karina Braun was getting on in her years and was as grateful to spend time with her busy son as anyone could be. She did always have Gabi for company, though, seeing as the two lived together.

“Well, we’re in the least likely part of the stands for that to happen,” Reiner calmly stated. “But I think those two might actually want to catch one.” He looked over at Gabi and Connie, both of whom were procuring catcher’s mitts from within their jackets.

“Gabi, dear, don’t be too optimistic about that. You too, Connie,” said Karina, now focused on the other members of the party. Reiner looked to the left, and his stomach dropped as it became very, very obvious who the seats on the right belonged to. Falco pushed Levi’s wheelchair, and Mikasa trailed behind them, gray eyes darting around nervously. Reiner understood that feeling.

Mikasa aside, the sight of Levi put him a little on edge, too. He would certainly reject the title, but the elder Ackerman was very much a father to the Scouts. How many of what were essentially Levi’s children had Reiner tried to kill? Even blood that hadn’t technically been shed was still on his hands.

However, it wasn’t all bad. Reiner was a frequent guest of Levi’s tea shop on account of Falco, and it was fair to say that the two had warmed up to each other considerably. Now, both Ackermans were talking with Falco, and once everyone had nodded (Mikasa somewhat reluctantly), Levi took the end seat of the aisle, legs shaking as he took Falco’s arm for support out of the wheelchair. And of course, Mikasa went right next to Reiner.

“Oh, are you Mikasa? It’s so nice to meet you!” Karina reached across Reiner to shake her hand. As Mikasa accepted and softly said her greetings, her hands shook violently. Reiner didn’t know if his mother noticed, but he had a pretty good hypothesis concerning the reason.

His initial prediction concerning Mikasa, that she would never forgive him, was looking truer and truer with every encounter. She had never once looked comfortable around him. Not that it was the only possibility. Any number of reasons for her uneasiness existed, and Reiner was perhaps too familiar with the concept of confirmation bias. It was just that his initial theory felt the most sound to him.

The game began with a short speech by Jaroslav Darik, one of the players. Once an outspoken Marleyan supremacist, he’d softened his views considerably since the Rumbling. Sure enough, that was the crux of the speech: a call for forgiveness on all sides. In Reiner’s opinion, it was a little on the sappy side. In seven years, everyone who was willing to forgive probably already had.

The only thing that Reiner could hear over the crowd was the sound of Connie and Gabi arguing over what hits and outs meant for their standings in the little betting ring they’d set up. In between the third and fourth innings, he stood up, needing to use the restroom. Connie followed him, mumbling something about needing to take a piss. On the way, the shorter man asked, “What’s the deal with you and Mikasa, anyways?”

“Dunno. She doesn’t seem to like me too much,” Reiner plainly stated. He would rather discuss any other topic at the moment.

“Eh, she’s kinda like that with everyone. ‘Cept maybe Armin,” Connie offered with a shrug.

The conversation then paused until both men were washing their hands. At that point, Reiner said, “She’s got more reason to hate me than anyone else.”

“If that’s the case, man, at this point, that’s her problem. Even fuckin’ Jean doesn’t hate you anymore,” replied Connie, throwing away a paper towel.

“I guess.” Reiner was telling this to himself more than Connie at this point. The idea of not being disliked by Mikasa was alien to him, something so incomprehensible that he couldn’t bring himself to properly or honestly reply to his roommate. He was silent in following Connie to the food vendors, where they each purchased a soft pretzel.

Not that Reiner was planning on eating his. Something about the oversized salt crystals and the doughy texture put him off, made the thought of putting it in his mouth nauseating. He didn’t know how long he sat there staring at it before Mikasa asked, “What is that, again?”

“It’s a pretzel. Never had one?” She shook her head. “Here.” He handed it to her, watching as she shakily tore off a piece and hesitantly put it in her mouth.

Mikasa’s face rose nearly imperceptibly. “Oh, it’s good.” Another bite. “Thank you.”

Reiner grinned. “No problem.” His smile fell with the realization, signs of your happiness aren’t something she wants to see. “I think there’s a vendor near the tea shop.”

“Good to know.” Her stormy eyes glanced sideways at him, and immediately looked forwards. The crowd roared as Darik hit a home run, and Gabi swore profusely as she pulled out her wallet. Apparently, she’d bet against him hitting the season’s first homer. Mikasa, once the noise subsided, asked, “Is baseball a phenomenon over here?”

Reiner nodded. “It got really popular a couple years ago. I think people are happy to be able to root for something, y’know?”

“Mhm.” Mikasa finished the pretzel. “Don’t you have a parliamentary meeting today?”

“Baseball is big enough that even parliament is put on hold today. I think even schools are closed. I dunno, education isn’t my department.”

Despite Reiner’s attempt at humor, Mikasa’s face remained steely as ever. He hoped that Connie was right, he really did. Almost every part of him wanted to believe that maybe she really did just have the same demeanor with everybody.

But that raised a bigger problem with Reiner’s morality, one that made him physically wince. Was he really so desperate for validation and companionship (which he didn’t even deserve) that he hung onto the words of his roommate? Regardless of how Mikasa actually saw Reiner, it was probably for the best if he just stayed away. Only then would he receive any semblance of just penance.

Chapter Text

The past few weeks had actually been somewhat lonely for Mikasa. The group was going to an island off the coast of Marley for the wedding tomorrow, on the twenty-third of September, and so to offset the fact that much of Parliament would be on vacation, every member who was leaving (including the president, Annie’s father) had spent exorbitant amounts of time making sure that they’d be caught up, or as caught up as possible. Mikasa didn’t exactly know what they were working on. She didn’t read the papers, and none of them were around to ask.

It wasn’t a state of complete isolation, though. After running her meager funds dry to supply herself with more clothes than just what she packed, Levi offered her a job in the tea shop. Not even slightly comfortable with any other employment prospect, she accepted.

Working in the shop was fine. Levi, completely understanding of her social anxieties, had Falco show her the ropes of preparing tea and baked goods, leaving the front of the house to Gabi. Mikasa was far from the best at it, but Falco didn’t seem too concerned. And besides, she loved the smell of tea. It reminded her of simpler times as part of Squad Levi, holed up in the cabin with the Scouts and drinking the captain’s tea. How strange that those were among the happiest days of her life.

Maybe it was the lack of information. Eren didn’t know of Marley then. As far as he was concerned, all humanity lived within the walls. He couldn’t even have conceived of wiping out humans outside. The old saying may well have been true. Ignorance was bliss.

The doorbell rang, and even from the back, where Mikasa was shutting the kitchen down, Gabi could be heard out front excitedly squealing, “Pieck!”

That was convenient. Mikasa was alone for the evening, as apparently Falco had “urgent business” to take care of. And frankly, she had some questions for the pregnant woman. Specifically, questions about Reiner.

Mikasa slunk out front behind the counter. Pieck waved hello, and said, “Jean won’t be joining us today. He and the other guys decided that tonight was a good night to throw an impromptu bachelor party.”

“Falco wouldn’t happen to be among them, would he?” Gabi asked. When Pieck nodded, she muttered, “Go figure. Aunt Karina wanted me home early-ish today, so I’ll see you guys tomorrow!” She hugged Mikasa and Pieck in turn, to which the former stiffened.

Pieck placed a hand on Mikasa’s shoulder and gestured to a booth. “Sit down with me here. You look troubled.”

“I did have a question,” the former scout admitted.

“Then take your time,” Pieck said, sitting down. “I’m in no hurry.”

Mikasa joined her in the booth, and began tapping away at the table while she tried to figure out how to best word her query. Now that she was faced with actually airing her problems to someone else, it all seemed so insignificant. In fact, she found herself unable to speak for about a minute, and when she did break the silence, it was only to ask, “Can I get you some tea?”

“‘Fraid not. I can’t have caffeine.”

“Right, sorry.” Mikasa looked out the window. The street was empty, without even any stragglers passing by. That didn’t bode well. She’d actually become rather accustomed to their white noise as she fell asleep. “I didn’t mean to-”

“Mikasa.” Pieck was a little more firm than normal, but still as kind as ever. “Please just tell me.”

“Is Reiner always so tense?” blurted the younger woman. “He’s been polite with me, but he’s so tense all the time. If I’m making him uncomfortable, then maybe I shouldn’t be around him.”

“Oh, is that all?” Pieck asked. “I wouldn’t worry. Reiner doesn’t really hold grudges. If I were to guess, he’s probably anxious for the same reason you are.”

“You think that he thinks that I hate him?”

“It wouldn’t surprise me. He went through a very similar song and dance with Jean a few years ago. Funny enough, that series of events ended up getting Jean and I together. But that’s a long story for another time.”

“I see.” Wha- h ow did that work out? “So should I just talk to him about it?”

“Of course. You should be able to tomorrow.”

“That’s good. I’ve been meaning to speak with him, but he’s been busy.”

“Oh, yes. It’s been rough for the last few weeks. I can’t remember the last time I saw so much paperwork. Reiner doesn’t really complain about work too much, though. He takes it in stride like…” Pieck’s brow furrowed as she trailed off. Mikasa didn’t pry as to what she’d figured out. It probably wasn’t her place to ask.

The ship to the island was considerably nicer than the one Mikasa took from Paradis. There was much more space (late September was not, apparently, a popular time for vacations) and ample space on the deck, including tables where the entire group was eating lunch.

Or, more accurately, the entire group except for Armin. Armin’s head had been in his hand all day, and he’d preceded every sentence with a pained groan. The only word he offered in explanation was, “Hangover.”

In turn, Annie was interrogating the other attendees of the bachelor party to determine who was at fault. “Obviously, it wasn’t Falco. He’s too young. And Jean, you haven’t been drinking, right?”

“As long as Pieck can’t, I won’t. It’s only fair, right?”

“Sure,” Annie dismissively said. “So, that leaves Connie, Onyankopon, and Reiner.”

“In their defense,” Jean said, finishing his glass of water, “Reiner and Onyankopon didn’t drink very much.”

“Wow.” Connie glared at his friend. “Way to screw me over, Jean, ol’ buddy.”

As Annie began to (not entirely baselessly) accuse him of getting Armin to drink past what he could handle, Reiner and Onyankopon came back to the deck. Reiner placed a tall, red-orange drink in front of Armin. “There you go, bud. Best hangover cure I know.”

He languidly raised his head. “What’s in it?”

Onyankopon shook his head. “Having seen him order it, you don’t want to know.”

“You can just do that? Order whatever you want?” Jean sounded intrigued.

“As long as they’ve got the ingredients and you’re willing to pay a little extra, yeah.” Reiner shrugged.

“Heh. This boat is cool.” Jean’s statement was interrupted by Armin gagging after a sip.

“Right, it tastes like shit," said Reiner. "But something about the egg, the habanero, the parsley, and the clam juice-”

“Ugh, please stop talking.” Pieck looked a little green as she clutched her stomach.

“Sorry.” Reiner looked away, his demeanor having fallen considerably. And seeing this, Mikasa made a new observation: he took things to heart easily. Frankly, even the comical situation before her couldn’t stop the dire implications from taking over her train of thought. How long had Reiner been living among them? Seven years? How many times had something like this happened, where he’d been put in a situation of perceiving insignificant or nonexistent flaws in his character as if they were major?

And how many of these times in the past few weeks had been by Mikasa’s own tongue?

These questions plagued Mikasa until the evening, where Reiner, during dinner, quietly announced a smoke break. She let a minute or two pass. Pieck then caught her gaze and nodded in the direction that he left, signaling the Ackerman to quietly sneak away.

Reiner looked over the deserted stern of the ship as the end of his cigarette glowed brightly. He had an imposing physique, very nearly as tall as Jean and perhaps a bit broader. His stance, though, was unintimidating, if perhaps not what one would call open. Neutrality defined his appearance.

As he noticed Mikasa, he gave a small wave with his free hand. Steadying her nerves as best she could, she said, “Reiner.”

“Mikasa.” His voice was higher than it had been at lunch. Perhaps a sign of nervousness?

On shaky legs, Mikasa stepped closer to him. She barely registered her feet on the deck, her only sensory feedback being the sight of Reiner getting closer. “I don’t hate you, Reiner.”

“Huh?” A clump of ash fell from the cigarette. As the blonde man took in the information, he leaned back against the ship’s railing. “Huh.” Another pause as he took another puff. “I didn’t expect you to say that.”

“I’m sorry.” It was difficult for Mikasa to register what she was saying. Her head felt like it was buried in gelatin, everything felt ethereal. “It wasn’t fair to keep you on edge like I did.”

“I just figured that you didn’t want anything to do with me,” he said. “Not that I ever blamed you. I was never upset at you or anything. I just felt bad about always upsetting you.”

“Pieck was right,” Mikasa whispered.

“Oh, did she tell you about the Jean thing?” he asked, voice back to normal, if now a bit peeved.

“Not really. I just know that something happened. And that somehow it got them married.”

Reiner laughed softly. “That part’s pretty funny, actually. It’s a really long story, though.”

“She said the same thing.” Mikasa, still floating, moved to the balcony, peering over the edge. It reminded her strongly of her trip to Marley, only cloudier. No stars were visible tonight, and her consciousness remained hazy. And that was without mentioning the brutal windchill. She tightened the scarf around her neck. “I’m glad we could settle this.” Damn it, ease up already!

“Yeah,” Reiner murmured. “So am I.”

Chapter Text

Based on what little she’d heard, Mikasa could only assume that Annie’s bachelorette party was a much more relaxed affair than whatever Connie had treated Armin to. And based on the locale, she had to acknowledge how frequent of a motif boats had become in her life across the past month. Gabi and Pieck rented a yacht on the island, and the younger of the two was now swimming in the ocean with Annie. Apparently, Annie had loved swimming since before her joining the Warrior program, but due to a lifetime of extenuating circumstances, she seldom had the chance.

Paradis was far away from the equator, making for a very cold climate, especially during the winter. Marley was a great deal warmer, but the island of Ricca, where the wedding was being held, was downright tropical. Even the ocean’s water was pleasantly warm to the touch. Ricca, being north of Marley, was more or less untouched by the Rumbling. Still, on account of its secluded nature, its population was hardly dense.

Annie seemed to revel in just being in the water, opting to tread water and let the sun shine down on her, occasionally taking powerful, refined laps around the boat. Gabi, on the other hand, would jump in, make her way back to the ladder, and repeat the process again. Mikasa, being woefully out of practice at swimming, stayed on the deck with Pieck, who had laid down on one of the deck’s long chairs.

Everything was blue out here. The eye and ocean would have appeared as one if not for the water’s ever-shifting waves, distortedly reflecting the sparse clouds with a sheer gleam. It almost hurt Mikasa’s eyes. She was still coming off of seven years of reclusion in a dimly-lit cabin.

She felt out of place here. The other three attendees had a method of relaxing or unwinding. Even that aside, she hardly knew any of them. Gabi was probably closest to her, and even then, she and Mikasa were only coworkers and had only been coworkers for a matter of weeks. And Annie… Though she’d been kind enough to allow Mikasa to come to her bachelorette party, it was actually Pieck who had pitched the idea of inviting her in the first place.

Breaking Mikasa from her trance, Pieck yawned. “It’s really not so different, being pregnant.”

“From what?”

“Back when I was the Cart Titan, I was spending months at a time transformed. Had a stint in one nation that lasted over a year. I was just tired constantly outside of the Titan form.” She paused. “Of course, now there’s also morning sickness, the strangest cravings, all kinds of standard pregnancy-related bullshit. Not mentioning… There's only one recorded case of a Titan shifter having children. And it’s not very well-documented. Strange, considering that it was the Founder.”

Mikasa hadn’t considered that. As she understood it, there were no remaining traces of the Titans’ power. But perhaps some genetic component remained? Nobody had ever tested this specific scenario. Even if other Eldians had had children since the Rumbling, Titan shifters had not. It was truly a worrying prospect. Not that Mikasa would ever have to experience it. Never having been a Titan aside, she had no intention of having children.

Back at the hotel where the group was staying, Mikasa ended up running into both Armin and Reiner in the lobby. “Oh, hello, Mikasa!” Armin looked cheery as could be. Probably a symptom of his upcoming wedding. Only six days remained.

Reiner, in stark contrast, initially looked like he’d just seen a ghost. However, once Mikasa and Armin exchanged a few pleasantries, he seemed to calm down considerably, the shock leaving his small eyes. The conversation was kept light, only involving the music of the lobby’s string quartet. It was a fair bit more upbeat than the popular music of Marley, which mainly consisted of dark, brooding, low-key brass instrumentals, occasionally with warbling vocals. Eventually, Armin asked, “Come and think of it, Reiner, didn’t you get a violin recently?”

“Yeah, I did. Haven’t quite gotten the hang of it yet.” He brought a hand to his beard, which was now full, rather than the thin goatee he’d sported during the Battle of Heaven and Earth. “Connie hates it when I practice. Probably because I’m bad at it.”

“But it’s your home, too. Shouldn’t you be able to play your instrument?” asked Mikasa.

Reiner shrugged. “He’ll probably become a lot more fine with it when I improve.”

Mikasa hummed noncommittally while Armin inquired Reiner further about the violin. She had a bad taste left in her mouth from Reiner’s account of trying to take up music. He’s been through enough. This had become a common mantra of her inner monologue whenever she’d thought of the blonde man. And how could it not? He always ended up the butt of somebody’s joke. Sure, this particular infraction with Connie didn’t seem to bother him much. But she still reached the same conclusion: he deserved to find whatever small respite he could in the instrument.

How long had it been since she’d felt this strongly about someone’s well-being? There was a very simple and terrifying answer: seven years. Eren was the last person. Only one facet remained of the way she’d felt about him, though: the urge to protect. The very lie that Eren had told her about the Ackerman family’s blood had come true once more, only directed at another, and perhaps on a significantly smaller scale.

All of Mikasa’s attempts at protecting Eren had been for naught. Aside from the unforgivable actions he’d committed, she ended up taking his life. But Reiner wasn’t even slightly inclined towards violence anymore. Given the circumstances of the world Mikasa grew up in, stories of gentle giants were practically unheard of. But were such tales around, she would certainly have harkened back to them upon seeing Reiner’s behavior.

She bid Armin and Reiner goodnight and went back upstairs to her room, which she shared with Levi. The scarred man slumbered soundly. Before Mikasa laid in her bed to do the same, she drew a small knife from her suitcase. Though unable to remember why she’d brought it along for the trip, it was convenient to her at the moment. She took it to the bathroom and had a brief look in the mirror.

Charcoal-black hair hung down to her hips now. Even her bangs were overly long, reaching her eyebrows. And for this reason, she spent the better part of a half-hour using the knife to cut long strands down to size. By the time Mikasa had finished, her hair was down to the same length she’d had it when she joined the Survey Corps more than a decade ago.

Chapter Text

It was hard, nearly impossible, not to smile at a wedding. Such an occasion demanded a contagious sort of euphoria from the people getting married that spread over to the guests. Indeed, as he glanced to the right, there was nary an unhappy face in sight. Armin and Annie had just wrapped up their vows and had embraced, wrapped up in a kiss that somehow still failed to quench either smile. Reiner joined everyone in applause.

The Arlerts chose to be wed on the beach, in proximity to the ocean that Annie so loved. As a result, nobody wore shoes. The bone-white sand was dry and crumbly, and better described as fine than coarse.

The turnout was fantastic. It was the first time since Jean and Pieck’s wedding that everyone’s families had been together. Last year, the Kirstein and Springer families both emigrated from Paradis to be closer to their sons, and both had made it. A notable exception was Connie’s father, who’d unfortunately registered with the Jaegerists and divorced Ms. Springer.

Of course, there was one person in attendance who had missed the last Alliance members’ wedding. Mikasa was there at last, and, as Armin and Annie walked down the middle of the attendees (in lieu of a proper aisle), Reiner noticed that she was the only one not smiling. That didn’t really bother him, though. She probably had her reasons. Besides, Reiner wasn’t about to judge someone for not being happy. That would make him quite the hypocrite indeed.

The sky was dark, but the area was well-lit on account of the abundance of surrounding candles. This was a purely aesthetic decision the Arlerts made for their wedding, and one that made Reiner stop and appreciate just how exquisite his friends’ taste was. The atmosphere was simply divine, relaxed and simultaneously celebratory of Armin and Annie.

“We’re leaving,” said Connie. Everybody was piling into cars for the wedding reception, which was held in a dance hall a kilometer or so away. And in the car with Connie, Jean, and Pieck, Reiner made note of the fact that the sand of Ricca was soft enough to not even feel rough or uncomfortable under socks and shoes.

The others conversed while Reiner looked out the window. The trees were different on this island. They were shorter than the ones on Paradis, but had a unique structure where the enormous leaves all converged at the top and spread outwards. He’d seen these palm trees in books as a child, but never thought he’d live long enough to see them.

The reception’s hall was enormous. Where the beach was tapered and low-key, this was a ballet fit for the royals of old, its ceiling stretching far above, where many of the Pure Titans Reiner had seen would’ve had to stand on their tiptoes to touch it. It even had pillars leading into buttresses of mahogany. Center to it all was an elegant chandelier that shimmered with countless little bits of crystalline glass.

Tables on either side of the hall bore food as far as the eye could see. But when it came to the prospect of actually loading up a plate, Reiner felt nauseous. Where before he would have been in awe over the options and quality of it all, he just couldn’t fathom putting any of it into his mouth, let alone swallowing. Even the roast beef! Living in the internment zones before becoming a Warrior, it was practically treated as a holiday if even the most unappetizing cut of beef became available. And yet, now this most succulent of foods was now making his stomach flip. He settled on grabbing a few bread rolls and hurrying to the table.

This time, he and Connie were seated with the Ackermans, as the Kirsteins were the best man and maid of honor. “You good, man?” Connie wore concern as he eyed Reiner’s lonely plate.

“Yeah, just not that hungry,” he shrugged. Neither Levi or Mikasa seemed to notice.

All eyes were (at least partially) on the bride and groom, and, on account of the arrangement of the tables, Mikasa was in Reiner’s peripheral. Earlier in the week, she’d cut her hair to look more like when they were still just joining the Survey Corps. And this made Reiner realize: he needed to look his best to attend the union of two of his closest friends. Connie could attest to the hour it took to trim his beard from a blonde, bushy disarray to a groomed-looking mustache and goatee.

No speeches were made in honor of the newlyweds. But then again, nobody really needed to say anything. A simple look at how Armin would periodically whisper something in Annie’s ear, and the way how which she’d roll her eyes and smirk, told any observer all that they needed to know.

Eventually, a small band of string players took up their instruments, signaling the honored couple to dance. Now, Reiner had actually taken a liking to dance at a young age, and though he wasn’t what one would call practiced, per se, he could tell that neither was quite sure of their footsteps. Of course, he wasn’t such a snob that watching them laugh every time they stumbled didn’t bring the widest smile he could remember having to his face.

The smile didn’t go away for hours, either. It didn’t falter when Jean and Pieck joined in, nor when Gabi dragged Falco from his seat. It became a laugh when Connie and Jean somehow ended up roping Armin into a sort of line dance. But Reiner didn’t dance. As much as he admired the art, the kind of dancing he was familiar with required a partner.

Mikasa eventually cleared her throat. Her voice was raspier than he remembered it being from so long ago. “Would you mind if I asked for a cigarette?”

“Nope. I could use one myself, actually.” Both of them stood up and made their way to the door.

Once both of them had their cigarettes lit, Reiner decided to try his hand at small talk. “I like what you did with your hair.”

She nodded. “Your beard looks nice.”

“Thank you,” he said. “Connie wasn’t too pleased about how many times I came out of the bathroom, partially shaven, asking if I’d gone too short or not.”

She frowned, blowing a cloud of smoke. “I wish the others would go easier on you.”

“I mean…” Reiner shuffled his feet, trying to choose his next words carefully. “It was probably pretty annoying for him.”

“It’s not just that.” Mikasa’s eyes narrowed, and she was silent until both cigarettes were down to the filters. Abruptly, she spoke. “I’d like to make a proposition.”

“Do tell.” He extinguished his cigarette.

“I think we should start meeting up to discuss our problems,” she hastily explained.

Reiner was stunned. Given a hundred guesses, none of them would have been along those lines. On the one hand, he didn’t really know what he’d share. He was familiar with who he was and what he struggled with, and as a result, wasn’t exactly sure what he’d bring up. Furthermore, Mikasa seemed like a person with enough on her plate already. Saddling her with whatever problems came up (however slight they might have been) just didn’t sit right.

On the other hand, Mikasa was offering to hear him out. And the fact that she had so much on her plate was another attractive feature in favor of agreeing to her proposition. She deserved to be able to take a load off. So, Reiner said, “Yeah, that sounds like a plan.”

“Should we discuss details later?” she inquired.

“Sure.” Reiner put his hands in his pockets as Mikasa put out her cigarette. Without even thinking, he asked, “Do you want to dance?”

Her head bolted up to look at him, and he knew he’d made a mistake. What the fuck even made me ask that?

“I’m not sure I know how, but I’ll try my best,” came her voice.

Huh. Guess there’s no backing down. “It’s not so hard to learn, I promise.”

They went to the dancefloor next, standing on the edge until the band picked up a mid-tempo, somewhat jaunty sounding tune. Initially, Reiner did find the scenario to be somewhat awkward. He and Mikasa simply faced one another, awkwardly avoiding eye contact. But, once everyone else seemed to be distracted, Reiner bit the bullet and begn moving his feet around, a bit of spring in his step as his arms swung left and right.

Slowly, but surely, Mikasa joined in. Aside from being surprised at how well he remembered dancing, he was impressed at how quickly she picked it up. The former scout was a bona fide natural, putting his first attempts at dancing to shame. The song seemed to reach a crescendo, and fearing that it would be over soon, Reiner extended his hand. She took it, and Reiner slowly lifted her arm all the way upwards. Seemingly understanding the move, Mikasa twirled a few times before they both leaned back and pulled each other upright.

The song ended then, leaving both dancers to head back to the table where Levi carefully watched them. On the way, their eyes met, and what might very well have been the impossible came to pass.

Mikasa Ackerman burst out laughing.

Reiner couldn't help but join in.

Chapter Text

It had been a motherfucker of a week since the wedding.

Most of the wedding party went home a couple days after, leaving Armin and Annie to celebrate their honeymoon in peace. Of course, immediately upon returning, a mountain of work greeted Reiner. Even the extra hours put in before the trip didn’t completely offset the need to catch up.

Reiner, in a refreshing change of pace, found himself visiting the tea shop daily after work. It was nice to see Gabi more often, he’d rather regrettably been neglecting his cousin as of late. Hell, he was pretty sure Pieck had seen her more than he did during the build-up to the trip. So, every evening, near closing time, he stopped by for a cup of tea. He never got any pastries (they simply didn’t appeal to him). Still, he relished in the little conversation he got to have with Gabi every time she came over with his brew.

Until the sixth of October, that is. On that evening, Mikasa came over with his cup. It was just before closing, Reiner’s favorite time to visit. Very few customers remained, meaning he could properly greet his cousin without much fear of keeping her from her job. Plus, he really did need the daily period of just unwinding after the week he’d had. Still, Reiner didn’t expect to see Mikasa. Curious, he thought. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her outside of the back of the house.

She quietly asked, “Do you still want to meet?” Her stance was dangerous, on guard. As if she were still on the edge of battle. Reiner didn’t blame her. It was a terrifying idea, having to open up to another person. Especially seeing as they’d only been reacquainted for a month.

“Sure,” he said. “I’m free on just about any evening.”

“Does that include this evening?” she asked, halfway between tentativity and self-assuredness.

“I believe so, yeah.” The only person who was expecting him anywhere was Connie at the apartment, and he probably wouldn’t mind if Reiner was a bit late.

Wordlessly, Mikasa sat down across from him, arms wrapped around herself. She didn’t quite meet his gaze, she sort of stared into his teacup. He preferred black tea. It was the least reflective tea available, so he wouldn’t have to accidentally look down and gaze into his own dead eyes. She murmured, “Has your week been okay?”

“I can’t really complain,” he said. “Been pretty busy, which is why I didn’t see you earlier. My apologies.”

She ever so quickly raised her hand from her side to wave the statement away. “I imagined that was probably the case. You should know that Gabi’s been happy to see you more often.”

“I felt pretty bad about not seeing her before the wedding. Good to know it’s getting better,” responded Reiner. Indeed, his shoulders felt a bit lighter as he lifted his teacup and took a deep sip.

Silence. Dangerous, immovable, oppressing silence. Once the tea was done, there was only the faint, faraway sound of pots clanging in the back. Crushed under the weight of the awkwardness of the situation, Reiner forced out a question that he’d been working through ever since the wedding. “Are you going to be staying in Marley?”

Mikasa visibly retracted, her knees raising. Reiner immediately winced at his own stupidity. How could he have asked that? Moving was a stressful endeavor at the best of times. That was not an appropriate first question for their first meeting. She barely murmured, “I think I’d like to. I haven’t asked Levi, though.”

“Right.” Though he was relieved, truthfully, to know that Mikasa would be in Marley for the foreseeable future, he was still in the mindset of damage control. “We’d all be over the moon to have you around. Which probably sounds like I’m trying to coerce you to stay. Sorry about that.” Naturally, he only managed to make things worse. How typical.

“It didn’t sound like that to me.” Mikasa was a little louder. “I’m only worried about whether Levi will let me stay with him. I don’t really have anywhere else to go.”

“Oh.” Reiner had an inkling that he might just be able to squeeze out some competent discourse in this exchange. “I’m certain he wouldn’t have a problem with letting you stay in his apartment. He’s been a lot happier since you’ve been here.”

“Probably.” Mikasa met Reiner’s gaze. “There’s still a chance that he won’t.”

“If that comes about, then there’s a room in Connie and I’s apartment we aren’t using. Connie would definitely say yes, too.”

“That’s a kind offer, but how do you know that Connie wouldn’t say no?”

“So, I was roommates with Pieck way back when we first became politicians,” Reiner explained. “But eventually, she and Jean were looking to get a place together, and I mentioned that to Connie, and he was actually pretty insistent that I stay with him. He’s one hospitable motherfucker.”

Mikasa softly smiled, laughing once. “I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you, Reiner.”

Reiner didn’t know what to think. By all accounts, his responses should have resulted in nothing but catastrophic failure. So why didn’t it turn out that way? In what universe could his aimless rambling have actually been words of comfort? Not that he was disappointed, of course. He actually joined Mikasa in a chuckle, relieved at his unexpected fortune.

He looked out the window. It was a Sunday, and the streets were empty. The sun hung low, the days growing shorter as winter grew nearer. It wasn’t particularly cold yet, though. It was that magical, unspeakably pleasant temperature between warm and cool that seemed to revitalize the soul, where one couldn’t help but to close their eyes and breathe in the perfect air. It was about as warm as possible where a cigarette wouldn’t feel overwhelmingly hot in the lungs, no matter how it soothed the rest of the body.

Speaking of cigarettes, Reiner figured he could use one. “Care to join me for a smoke?” he offered. Mikasa nodded, and they walked outside without a word. They lit up as usual, continuing to not talk. Reiner didn’t mind that. Strange as it sounded (even to him), Mikasa didn’t need to talk to be a comforting presence. He didn’t even need to air his problems to feel better.

A pigeon flew down between their feet. It cocked its head, observing both smokers keenly, cooing softly. The bird strutted over to Reiner, looking deeply into his eyes. The pigeon didn’t judge him for any of the war crimes he’d committed. So how were his friends able to be as the pigeon? It was especially strange considering the difference in capability to understand. Connie and Mikasa and Jean could all fathom why Reiner earned the contempt of Paradis Island.

Especially Mikasa. She would’ve only been what, nine or ten years old? When she witnessed him destroy her home with her own eyes? It didn’t make any sense. He didn’t doubt that she was okay with his presence. Why else would she want to see him if she didn’t have to? Of course, he was okay with that. He certainly enjoyed having her around. The issue was understanding how.

“Reiner?” Mikasa asked. The pigeon flew away. Reiner blinked hard, turning to face her. She continued, “Are you feeling well?”

“Yeah,” he said. “The bird was cute.”

She smiled and put out her cigarette. “Indeed it was.”

Here, for the first time, in the middle of the sidewalk against a sunny Marleyan sunset, Reiner Braun felt his heart race as he caught a glimpse of Mikasa’s smile.

Chapter Text

Sometimes, Reiner didn’t really understand himself and the way he operated from day to day.

For instance, his first time meeting with Mikasa, they agreed to meet again the next week and bid each other farewell, and he left to go home. A normal interaction, but he didn’t know why he didn’t tell Connie about the meeting. Reiner felt as though it was a private affair, something practically sacred best left between himself and Mikasa. He had no rationale behind this line of thinking. Maybe he’d ask her about it, just to check and see if he was alone in this.

And he’d have an opportunity today, too. It just so happened to be exactly one week since they last met. It was evening, a half-hour after closing. It seemed like a reasonable enough time to see if she was still available, right? Connie was out running an errand, so Reiner had a unique opportunity: he could call her and give her time to prepare instead of going down there all gung-ho.

Heading to the living room, he dialed Levi’s number. As far as he knew, Mikasa still lived with her grouchy… uncle? Cousin? Reiner didn’t actually know how they were related. Perhaps that was something else he could ask her.

He put the telephone to his ear, anxiously hearing its shrill ringing.

Mikasa was glad that Levi tended to nap in the evenings and that Falco liked to spend his evenings with Gabi.

Typically, it just meant that she had a little while to relax. But now, her knees were clutched to her chest as she sat up against her headboard. She cried quietly, shuddering and rocking side-to-side.

It was too overwhelming. Her entire situation. Yesterday, she mustered up the courage to ask Levi and Falco if she could stay, and both of them were surprised that she even had to ask. She had no idea what sort of anxiety this would bring.

In just a month, Mikasa had uprooted her entire life of solitude to move to the busiest city outside of Paradis, surrounded by friends who she’d long forsaken. At the time, this never really bothered her. It was a busy time, packed to the brim with new developments and catching up with people who were all too happy to see her. Processing it all at once completely shut her down. She was having a panic attack.

Making it worse was the knowledge that she wouldn’t be seeing Reiner today. Last time, Mikasa didn’t actually get the chance to ask Reiner about how he was feeling. Her anxiety ended up taking over the conversation. She felt guilty over this. It was supposed to be mutual, at least that was how she’d intended it when she proposed this to him at the wedding. She did consider the man a friend, and what kind of friend would do something like that?

Reiner was actually responsible for a great deal of emotional comfort for Mikasa over the past few weeks or so. For fuck’s sake, he’d gotten her to smile and laugh! She hadn't done either in at least four years. It was his earnest nature. His words and their implications bore genuine kindness, without sacrificing practicality or straightforwardness. Mikasa got the feeling that Reiner legitimately wanted to help her. And today, she was initially going to make it absolutely clear to him that she was determined to do the same to him.

It made her feel worse. She couldn’t even manage to stow her own anxiety long enough to-

A sharp ring came from the other room, followed by shuffling and a groggy Levi asking, “Hello?” Silence. “I’ll check.” He groaned as he presumably rose, and the characteristic tapping of his cane grew nearer.

The doorknob turned painfully slowly. She dried a tear or two from her face, hoping to look like less of a wreck than how she felt. Levi’s eye widened as he saw her, and he was silent for a moment or two. “Mikasa.” He shifted on his cane. “Reiner called. He wanted to speak to you. Should I tell him you’re unavailable?” Mikasa nodded. “I’ll be right back.”

Levi walked back to the living room. He said, “She’s not available.” Reiner presumably said something, and the older man said, “No problem. Try again some other time.” Pause. “Goodbye.”

He returned in the doorway. “May I come in?” Mikasa nodded once more. He shuffled over and sat down on the bed next to her. “Is this because of Reiner?”

No, she thought. It’s all my fault. She shook her head. “I didn’t think so,” Levi said. “Still never hurts to make sure.”

He put an arm around her. “I won’t pry any further. Just let me know if you want to talk. Or leave. I can leave if you’d prefer.”

“You don’t need to leave.” Hoarse. Mikasa’s voice was back to being hoarse, though it was no longer from disuse. “It’s just a lot. Moving here.”

“It is,” Levi concurred. “That’s why I run the shop. It’s peaceful here. Or as peaceful as anything can be with Gabi’s involvement.”

However in spite of herself it may have been, Mikasa smiled at that.

Reiner sighed. He was disappointed that he wouldn’t be seeing Mikasa today after all. Which sounded pretty bad in his mind. He shouldn’t be so needy. Especially when there was such a large chance that it wasn’t even personal. Besides, he was going to the tea shop tomorrow to see Gabi. There was a chance he’d run into her then.

He needed a distraction. He went back to his room, propping his violin on his shoulder. The chords were becoming easier on his fingers, the bow feeling less unwieldy in his hand. Eventually, he actually tried a series of chords in such an order that sounded downright pleasant. He figured it was probably basic music theory, but if it sounded good, he could give less of a shit about its complexity.

So, he kept playing. Over and over, making sure his hands were completely familiar with the progression. Some time later, Connie knocked on the door. “Hey, Reiner? That sounds pretty good. Knew you’d get there eventually, buddy.”

“Thank you,” Reiner said. Going over to his desk, he pulled out an unused notebook and wrote Violin Progressions on the cover. Hopefully, this wasn’t a fluke. Perhaps he could fill up all of the pages? And perhaps, maybe, he could show Mikasa?

Chapter Text

In the evening of the fourteenth of October, Mikasa waited for Gabi to leave with Falco to see Reiner. He was a consistent person, always showing up around this time to order tea and catch up with his cousin. He had a tendency to stay until closing, so it’d be easy enough to catch him. Sure enough, as he was leaving, she was fortunate to see nobody else present. That way, she could say, “Reiner.”

He turned around, arm still reaching for the door. His face softened as he nodded and said, “Oh, good evening, Mikasa.”

“I’m sorry that I missed your call yesterday,” she said. “Something came up.”

He waved his hand, closing his eyes. “Don’t worry about it.”

Mikasa shifted from side to side. “Would you, by any chance, like to talk?”

“Well, I’m going to a boxing club that opened up with Connie today. But, um, if you’d like to come with us, I’m sure that’d be fun.”

“I suppose. Should I bring a change of clothes?” Her work attire wasn’t exactly conducive to a fight.

“Oh, definitely,” Reiner said. “I’ll just be waiting in the car out front.”

Mikasa, not wanting to make Reiner late, went up to Levi’s apartment. “I’m heading out,” she said to her relative, who simply looked up and nodded. Somehow, telling Levi about her rendezvouses with the former Armored Titan, however inconsequential, felt like too much, felt too off. Like it would be a breach of his privacy. She swiftly changed into a set of exercise clothes she’d purchased, but neglected to use up until now.

Getting back into an exercise routine was something that Mikasa had intended to do since determining that she’d be taking permanent residence in Marley. Now, Reiner had provided a convenient reason to get started. Once she was in the car, he said, “It’s not too far from here. Should only be a few minutes by car.”

“I see. So, it’s just you and Connie?”

“As far as I know. I guess he could have brought someone, too.” The car began moving. Reiner continued, “I’ve been wondering, and I hope this isn’t too personal, but how are you and Levi related, exactly?”

Mikasa felt herself smile. These were the kind of things she’d begun thinking of as Reinerisms. They followed a specific, but loose singular criterion: if it was a statement that he made that got her lips to turn upwards (regardless of whether that was the intended effect), then it was a Reinerism. For the sake of not leaving him hanging, Mikasa answered, “I’m not entirely sure, in all honesty. Probably cousins? But it’s a very distant relation.” She was amazed at how light her tone was for such a plain, blunt answer. Damn Reinerisms.

“Ah, okay,” he acknowledged, keeping a steady eye on the road. “I’ve never had the easiest time tracing my family tree, myself.”

“Neither have I. There weren’t exactly very many Ackermans I knew. Or anyone of Hizuran descent who was still living on Paradis. Until the Azumabito clan came around.”

“Oh, you’re related to the Azumabitos?” Reiner paused. “In retrospect, I really should have figured that out earlier.”

“Come and think of it, I don’t know why the other Scouts were so shocked when they found out,” she mused. “Not many Paradisian Eldians named ‘Mikasa,’ as far as I know.”

Reiner gave a deep belly laugh at that. Huh, Mikasa thought. I wasn’t even trying to be funny.

Shortly afterwards, they arrived. A vehicle Mikasa recognized as Connie’s was already parked out front. The inside was about exactly what she’d expect from a boxing club. Plain interior, punching bags, a few rings, the works. At front, however, there was an obstacle that she immediately felt a sting of embarrassment at not having considered: payment. It was a club! Of course there would be a bar for entry. Reiner seemed to take notice of her predicament, saying, “Oh, don’t worry, I’ll pay for you.”

“Are you sure?” Mikasa didn’t want to be a burden.

“Yeah, it’s not a problem. Entry is about as cheap as it gets.” Reiner had already drawn his wallet out, counting out bills for the receptionist. He got the both of them year-long memberships at the club, and they had just walked in when Connie and Jean walked out of the locker room.

“Hey, Reiner!” Connie called. “Jean’s gonna be joining us, I hope that’s okay!”

“That’s fine by me! I brought Mikasa!” They walked over to meet them, and both Connie and Jean were visibly nervous.

“Um, Reiner?” Jean said. “You do realize that Mikasa will kill us in the ring, right?”

Mikasa shifted. “I mean, if the Titans are gone, then the Ackerman bloodline shouldn’t still have its power either, right?”

“There we go, then,” Reiner said. “It’s for science, so we can see if it still works or not. I’m going to change really quickly.”

As he slipped away, the others started lacing themselves into the provisional gloves. “Science,” Connie grumbled. “Jean, you can tell Pieck that ‘science’ is why you’re coming home in a body cast, right?”

“Ah, c’mon, Connie. She’ll stop before we die or get seriously hurt,” said Jean. He then turned to Mikasa. “That is the case, right? Because I would not be able to tell Pieck that it was science and get away with it.”

“Yes,” Mikasa said, rolling her eyes. “Glad to see Connie’s just as mature as I remember.”

Jean laughed. “Some things never change, do they?”

“Hey!” Connie said, tying his gloves on. “I’ll have you know that I… well… fact of the matter is… eh, fuck it, you’ve got a point.”

Everybody had a laugh, and Reiner came out in a tank top and shorts. He looked significantly less optimistic than he did before changing, and Mikasa could swear that his musculature had significantly withered since their time in the Training Corps. Reiner was actually quite thin nowadays. “Alright,” he said. “Who’s going first?”

“I’ll go,” Mikasa said. She and Reiner ducked through the ropes

Jean leaned on one of the poles. “Alright, keep it clean, guys,” he said. “Nothing you wouldn’t be able to walk off.”

Mikasa nodded. Connie rang the bell. It was on. She put her fists up in a fairly noncommittal defensive position, shifting left and right as Reiner threw out a couple tentative jabs. Though he was sloppy, it was clearly from sheer lack of practice. The remnants of two nations’ military training still lingered in his arms.

She weaved quickly, making Reiner block preemptively. She was pleased to find that her agility was largely still present. After a few jabs, Mikasa feigned a right hook, allowing for a lightning-quick jab to connect with his midsection. He ducked to his right, exposing his left side. Mikasa honed in, capitalizing on openings as quickly as she created them.

Reiner raised his hands, and as soon as Mikasa noticed, she backed off, perhaps a little late. “Are you okay? I’m sorry, I didn’t notice-”

“Yeah, I’m good.” He chuckled, wiping the sweat from his brow. “Phew. Um, I think we can safely say that the Ackerman bloodline is intact?”

“I don’t think so,” Mikasa confessed. “It used to be like a trance. But I actually had to think about what I was going to do here.”

“So you’re just really, really good at fighting? Still?” asked Connie. Mikasa nodded. “Alright, mystery solved. You ready, Jean?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be. Let’s go.” Jean hopped over the ropes, grumbling, “Ooh, my back.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Mikasa whispered to Reiner once they were out of the ring.

“Don’t worry. I’ve been hurt way, way worse.” Reiner was flippant, but that statement only (however accidentally) troubled her to a greater degree.

It wasn’t until Mikasa was in bed that night that she realized: she did not actually ask about how Reiner was doing all day. Sure, it had been busy, but what about the car ride? Could she really not have made time for a quick ‘how are you feeling’ or ‘is your emotional state in check?’ And she couldn’t just ask tomorrow, either. How clingy would she look if every day she came down to see him? Meeting after a week’s time was his suggestion. It was his way of setting a pace he was comfortable with. And now, Mikasa would be waiting yet another week to try and extend the hand of support.

Chapter Text

Mikasa was glad to see Armin back in Marley.

He and Annie had returned home, their honeymoon done and over with. They both still glowed with that special ‘we got married’ euphoria.

Now that she was on friendly terms with Reiner, the most terrifying person in the circle of Mikasa’s old comrades was none other than Annie. Of course it would be another Warrior. Sure, there was Pieck, but the amount of times that Armin’s letters had described the ex-Cart as “mellow” had more or less quelled any of Mikasa’s fears. Annie, though… of course, as her lover, Armin had nary a bad word to say about her character, in writing or in conversation. But even before Mikasa knew that Annie was the Female Titan, the president’s daughter was incredibly tricky to get close to.

The irony of this was not lost on Mikasa. Especially at the moment. Gabi was poking her head in the back of the tea shop. “Mikasa? Armin and Annie are asking for you.”

Mikasa snapped her head up to meet Gabi’s eyes. “Just as well.” She picked up a tray with their brews, which she had just finished, making her way out to the bustling midday rush. Workers would frequently congregate in the cafe on their lunch breaks, and every other day or so, some combination of those involved in the government (or otherwise associated with Levi) would show up.

She was relieved to find that while noisy, there weren’t too many people in the way of Armin and Annie’s table in the farthest corner from the kitchen entrance. Many groups of patrons chattered and chuckled amongst themselves, and a radio played the latest hits. A wave of cheery, upbeat string music had struck Marley in the last month or so. That said, the string quartet eternally maintained its status as the premier band structure.

The decor was centered around light, soft, feathery yellow hues. It was a comforting choice as well as a sharp business decision. The cafe faced due east, and exceedingly tall buildings were being constructed across the way, leaving a sore lack of natural light. But the color palette brought some of that sunny atmosphere back in.

“Thank you,” said Armin, glancing up as Mikasa arrived at his table. He looked back down only to look back up sharply. “Oh, Mikasa! Good to see you again.”

“Good afternoon,” Mikasa said. Annie nodded silently in response, unbreaking in her gaze even as she sipped her tea. Mikasa was reminded of a garden snake she once saw back on Paradis. It was a humid, languid summer morning, and the snake simply reared its head and watched her, scrutinized her as she picked up the day’s mail, not looking elsewhere until she went back inside her cabin. Though both were likely equally harmless, Mikasa couldn’t help but feel like the short blonde woman sitting next to her was more frightening.

Hence her surprise when Annie just smirked and chuckled, low yet unmeasured. “Connie was telling everyone about you and Reiner boxing.”

“Oh.” Mikasa was caught off guard, both by Annie’s casual tone and her own laughter. “That.” It was only yesterday that the whole boxing club scenario had played out. “Well, I hope he kept things accurate.”

“I’d imagine. Jean and Reiner were both kind enough to tone down some… more exaggerated details.”

“Yeah, it didn’t seem likely that you sidestepped a jab at twenty meters per second. No offense, of course,” added Armin.

Mikasa and Annie kept laughing at that, and Mikasa felt her fists unclench, her arms swinging ever so slightly by her side. Why, again, had she expected Annie to be exactly as she remembered from the Rumbling? Of course she would change. But as she waved them goodbye on her way back to the kitchen, Mikasa began to wonder why she herself hadn’t done so.

Nothing more of interest happened until sundown. It was just past closing, around the time where Falco would go with Gabi to her home until later, where he would return to Levi’s to sleep. Mikasa was leaving when Gabi turned the corner and nearly crashed face-first into her older coworker.

“Oh, sorry!” Gabi exclaimed, backing up and blinking quickly. “Anyways, it sure looks like you’re popular today. Reiner’s looking for you, too. Looks like he was in a rush.”

Gabi wasn’t lying. When Mikasa met Reiner, his face was tinted pink and his breath was somewhat labored. “Hey, Mikasa,” he huffed, flashing a kind smile. “I’m kind of acting as a messenger here. Armin forgot to ask you earlier, do you want to go to his place for dinner tomorrow? At eight, if I remember correctly.”

Mikasa folded her arms, smirking at the scene. A street light shone down on both of them, as if they were on stage in some slice-of-life play. Maybe it was a symptom of getting back into the swing of things. There was no chance that Reiner or anyone else would find such a mundane scene as amusing as she did. Feeling a pang of embarrassment, she shuffled, dropped the grin, and plainly said, “I’ll go, then.”

“Alright, great. He invited me, too, so I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Wait.” Mikasa reached an arm out just as Reiner turned away, and he turned around practically directly into her outstretched hand. She put it down hastily, the scarlet embarrassment on her cheeks deepening. “I had a question.”

“Oh? Go for it.” Reiner put his hands in his pockets. He was open, steady, casual. Damn it, stop! Loosen up!

Mikasa shook her head as slightly as she could manage. “Annie. Was she ever scary to you?”

Reiner laughed. “She’s still scary to me. We didn’t exactly get along very well until we started our current line of work and started hanging out more.”

“Oh.” Mikasa moved her arms behind her back. “I figured that you were all close as Warriors.”

“Not really. I was friends with Bertholdt and Marcel, the guy Ymir got the Jaw from, but that was about it.” He blinked hard. “But the point is, Annie isn’t really so bad.”

“Oh, no, she’s much more friendly than I expected.”

“Once she starts talking to you, right?”

Mikasa grinned, relieved that her experience wasn’t unique to her. “That’s exactly what it is. It’s terrifying when she’s just staring you down.”

Reiner started laughing again. “Yup. Not that any of this is bad about her, right?”

“No, of course not, Annie is just fine. I probably intimidate people, too.”

“I mean…” The bearded blonde started moving his hands over one another, seemingly in contemplation. “Maybe at first, but I think you’re pretty easy to talk to.”

“You too.” Mikasa looked away, her face heating up once more. “See you tomorrow, then.”

“Yeah. Take care.” Reiner waved as he began walking away, and Mikasa swore she could have heard him pick up into a jog. She felt strangely elated as she went up the stairs, greeted Levi and Falco in the living room, and sat down on the sofa. Even though she hadn’t been in Marley for much more than a month, it felt like home.

When Mikasa went back to Paradis, it was to live in limbo. She existed for seven years, doing nothing that didn’t explicitly further her survival. She didn’t have hobbies, instead letting the days go by sitting under the tree that covered Eren’s head.

But there was an element of surprise she didn’t expect: what she ended up doing in Marley. Though she was initially here for Armin, he hadn’t really been around her much. The greatest irony of all was that of everyone here, she’d enjoyed the time she spent around Reiner Braun the most, and he was probably the person Eren showed more vitriol to than anyone else. Mikasa knew her priorities were changing. But she didn’t know if it was alright to betray Eren like this.

Chapter Text

Reiner stopped to catch his breath. It wasn’t a particularly long jog to Armin and Annie’s house, but ten minutes felt a good deal longer when one was wearing their nicer clothes. He drew a handkerchief and wiped the sweat from his brow. A couple days ago, he’d been changing clothes at the boxing club only to make a horrifying discovery: a thin layer of fat over his stomach. He was disgusted at himself, shocked that he’d let himself go so easily.

So he was running to and from places now. Granted, he hadn’t seen any results so far, but what else would one expect from two days? Especially after a couple years of work mostly being sitting in Parliament? It ate at him all the same, though. It wasn’t… right being this way. He used to be quite muscular back when he first joined the Training Corps. His physique had only gone downhill from there.

He knocked on the door of the Arlerts’ house. Just about instantly, Annie opened it. “One of these days, I’m going to get neck problems,” she said, craning her neck up to look at Reiner. “C’mon in. Mikasa’s already here and dinner’s almost ready.”

As he took off his shoes, Reiner remembered: fuck me, I forgot the booze. It was a sort of a tradition in his family to bring gifts to social events. Seeing as Reiner had recently come into possession of an aged bottle of bourbon and wasn’t a fan of drinking alone, he figured that the time was as ripe as any. This was particularly regrettable considering that bourbon was Annie’s spirit of choice, if his memory served him. At least there was an easy way out of this faux pax: don’t be a dumbfuck and don’t mention it.

“Good evening, everybody.” Greetings were not Reiner’s strong suit. Armin and Mikasa both briefly waved hello before returning to their conversation.

“I understand that we were in a minority, but we’re living in different times now. We can’t live by the same rules,” Armin said.

“I’m not saying that it won’t work now, or that it isn’t working now. I’m only saying that if we had the same way of thinking before, we wouldn’t be here.” Mikasa’s response matched Armin’s defensive tone.

“They’ve been debating democracy for a little while now,” Annie explained.

“Ahh.” Reiner folded his hands. This was a curious point of interest. “What’s your take?”

“They’re both right,” was all Annie said. A ding came from another room, leaving the Arlerts to both head to the kitchen.

Mikasa sighed. “Hello, Reiner.”

“Hey.” He sat down next to her. “Quite a party, huh?”

She smiled. “Something like that. I’ve only been here for fifteen minutes or so.”

A laugh building in his throat, Reiner mirthfully said, “Goodness.”

“Oh, it wasn’t just Armin bringing this up out of nowhere. I asked about how Marley’s Parliament works.” Mikasa sounded quick to clarify.

“Ah, got it.” Reiner leaned back a bit. “If you’re wondering, right now, we’re just going through the last of the old anti-Eldian laws.”

“They’re all still around?” Mikasa’s eyes narrowed.

“Well, most of them aren’t.” Reiner explained. “We initially held a successful vote to suspend all of their effects, and we’ve been getting rid of about one per week since we started up in New Marley.”

“Seven years ago? There are still any left?”

“Only four. And we haven’t had a vote that wasn’t unanimous in years.”

“Hm.” Mikasa sounded pensieve.

“It’s a slow process, but it’s a good example, I suppose. Armin and Annie are both really emphatic about that.”

“Sounds like they would be.”

Reiner nodded. There was more he wanted to say to her. A lot more, as a matter of fact.

Armin and Annie came out, then, carrying platters of various soups and breads. Reiner raised his eyebrows as he neatly tucked his napkin over his lap. Ever since they were children, Annie had a propensity for the spiciest of foods, the sort that made the toughest of diners shed tears. And sure enough, the scent of strong chilis wafted over. Now, Reiner had tasted the Arlerts’ cooking before, and knew that the pair were capable of putting phenomenal flavors in what they made. But good lord, did one ever have to fight through a bevy of heat to find them.

So that’s what Reiner did. He swallowed bite after bite of the ground meat and rice, savoring the tangy, almost sweet marinade used for the pork. He even started getting used to the heat, even as the back of his mouth screamed. But the more he ate, the less he found pleasure in doing so. Sure, the spice was there, and the other flavors. But the meat’s texture began to feel wrong on his tongue, like he was swallowing gravel.

He looked up. The others, too, were mostly focused on their food, but how had they eaten so much? They’d each eaten about twice as much as him, and none of them showed any signs of slowing down. It made his head swim.

Reiner needed a cigarette. Standing up, he quietly pardoned himself and walked out the front door. The little rolled stick of tobacco couldn’t be lit and in his mouth fast enough. He sighed and loosed his shoulders. Some evening.

A few minutes and half a cigarette later, Mikasa quietly crept outside. Reiner nodded and held out the pack. She raised a hand to decline, so he simply put it in his breast pocket. She started, “I’m sorry if I ruined dinner.”

“Not at all. What are you referring to?”

“It’s not strange for there to just be… silence after Armin and I were talking about politics like that?”

“Nah. At least, not that I know of. Personally, I was just trying to keep my tongue from combusting.”

“Everything in Marley is spicy. I’ll never get used to it.” Mikasa shook her head, softly chuckling.

Reiner couldn’t help but smile. A pause went by, and he said, “You know, I meant what I said last night.”

“I-” Mikasa turned red. “I meant it when I said you too. Comparatively speaking, at least.”

“I guess it’s more than that for me.” Clearly, blushing was contagious in the same manner as yawning, as Reiner felt his own face heating up. “I’m always second-guessing myself around the others. Even Connie from time to time, honestly. But it’s… it’s not like that with you. Or I’m not like that with you. You’re… well, it’s nice to see you around in the cafe. And other places.”

Mikasa didn’t say anything initially. For a brief moment, she stared silently, grey eyes blinking exactly twice. For a moment, Reiner felt terror.

But then, she spoke. “Well. I… yes, I understand that sort of feeling. I’ll admit, I’m still a little apprehensive when we speak, but not quite so much as most everyone else. At least, not as much as everyone but maybe Levi and Armin. But for the most part, I get that.”

“I think it’s pretty normal to be nervous around people. Fuck, I was worried in between you and I saying all that there.” Reiner kept on grinning like an idiot.

But if he were to grin like an idiot, it was in the style of an idiot in a particularly content state of mind.