Archive of Our Own ^beta

"Marinette! Your friends are here!" Sabine called out.

Marinette straightened, turning to look at her trap door as the kwami began to scatter. She was confused by the news of a surprise visit, as she had been sure that all of the friends in her main group - excluding Alya, who was already there with her - were busy at the time. She glanced at Alya to see if she knew anything, but she merely shrugged in response.

They had just been about to have a serious conversation too, and now everything was awkward.

The sound of footsteps grew louder. They weren't quick and excitable like Rose, quiet like Juleka, uncaring like Alix, nor hesitant like Mylene. There was a presence to them, not heavy but calculated.

Just as Marinette realized who it was, the trap door opened and her suspicions were confirmed as Kagami entered, wearing her usual flat expression. Despite that, Marinette knew Kagami well enough to see the subtle changes in her face that indicated something deeper that she was feeling.

She was angry.

Marinette didn't know what she'd done, but she felt like she was about to be scolded. Her shoulders tensed, fists in her lap as she tried to make herself look as small as possible. She glanced at Alya, who clearly didn't get the message but felt strange about Kagami being there; she'd never seemed to have a positive opinion of her.

Alya stood, waving a dismissive hand and assuring, "Ah—I'll come back later, girl. We can talk then."

Marinette shot Alya a desperate look, but was ultimately ignored as Alya went to head for the trap door.

Suddenly, Kagami side-stepped, her eyes locking with Alya's in such a way that she was forced to stop.

"I came to speak with you, actually."

"What?" Alya raised a brow, thrown off by the comment. She and Kagami had barely talked, so it was strange to hear that Kagami had sought her out. Perhaps Kagami had asked someone else where they'd be?

Marinette looked back and forth between the two, not expecting this development. Anxious, she clenched her fist, feeling the edges of the fox miraculous press into her palm and fingers.

"I'm not familiar with friendship yet, nor French etiquette," Kagami began, her subtle shifts in her tone implying that she knew more than she let on, "but is it normal for friends to push each other around like that?"

Alya blinked rapidly, apparently needing a moment to realize what Kagami was talking about. Marinette, however, didn't, though her being "pushed" could've been either metaphorical or literal, and thus she came up with multiple memories that Kagami could've been talking about.

Then, she remembered the only one that Kagami had seen: the elevator.

"That?" Alya asked, any tension she had fading as she snorted at Kagami's seriousness. "That's just a thing between me and Marinette. She needs a little push every now and then. You haven't been around long, so I get that you—"

"It's your fault, then," Kagami noted, more to herself than Alya.

Alya stiffened, her mouth twitching in mild offense at the sudden attack. "What?"

Kagami squinted, her gaze flicking briefly to Marinette before going back to Alya. Marinette felt a sense of understanding there; a realization of what Kagami was referring to, but that she respected their friendship enough to not bring it up in front of Alya.

It was the day Alya had forced her out so she could comfort Kagami, and Marinette had spent the day shoving Kagami around for what she thought was the best for her. Marinette's cheeks turned pink with shame at the memory, but she simultaneously realized that she'd never made any connection between her actions and what Alya had always done.

"I believe the term my mother would use is bad influence," Kagami asserted.

"What did you say?" Alya gaped, turning to full offense at that point.

"I'm aware that you and your friends see me as an 'ice queen,'" Kagami stated, "but I am not the one shoving my friends around against their will."

"What do you know?" Alya asked, throwing her arms out. "Marinette is my friend, not you, and I'm helping her!"

Kagami squinted, skeptical of the claim. "Is that what you call it?"

Alya rolled her eyes. "You wouldn't understand."

"I understood that Marinette was extremely uncomfortable."

"She's uncomfortable around Adrien all the time," Alya retorted, dismissing the statement with a wave. "That's why she needs me to help her out."

"That's not what I saw. I saw Marinette being calm and well until you started forcing her into the elevator." Crossing her arms, Kagami continued, "I did think it was all Marinette at first, until I remembered the event where it was only the three of us: me, Marinette, and Adrien. We all had a great time and Marinette did perfectly well with Adrien. She—"

Kagami paused, a brief lightness passing over her expression. Marinette suspected that she was remembering how she'd let her and Adrien go.

As if realizing that her face had shifted, Kagami sharpened her gaze again and focused back on Alya. "She can act normally around him. You are the one who's causing her to hesitate."

"Me?" Alya placed a hand to her chest and scoffed. "Marinette wouldn't get anywhere with Adrien if it wasn't for me!"

Kagami tilted her head. "Where was she before?"

"...What?" Alya asked.

"You said that she wouldn't get anywhere. Where was she before?"

"She couldn't talk to him without screwing up, and I kept having to—" Alya froze, the realization hitting her.

Kagami raised a brow, her steely gaze daring Alya to continue. When she didn't, Kagami continued, "Then what I saw at the elevator was not progress. If you've been doing this for a long time, there has been no progress. Don't blame Marinette when it's your failure that made her nervous."

Alya bristled, whereas Marinette shifted quietly in her seat. The kwami had peeked out further, invested in the drama on display, but Marinette couldn't find it in herself to do anything against them, nor her arguing friends.

She instinctively wanted to defend Alya, but she also knew Kagami for her accurate - if a bit too blunt - deductions. As much as she often threw all the blame on herself, Kagami's points had made her at least consider things. She had tried to get Kagami and Adrien back together despite Kagami's refusal, because she thought that's what was best, but—

Wasn't that what Alya always did, forcing interaction with Adrien even when she tried to refuse? Marinette had given Alya credit for it, excusing it because she saw Alya as a good friend who knew better than her, but maybe that was being too hard on and downplaying herself in the process?

But before Alya, she had never been the type to presume what others wanted. She had kept to herself, had no friends, and any influence she had or could have on others was abysmal. It was once Alya came into her life that she began to act, with the addition of her role as Ladybug, and the first person she'd ever gotten superhero advice from was—

oh.

Marinette's grip on the fox necklace tightened, as if that would help ground her. She flashed back to the events of that day, along with what she'd been about to do, and suddenly she wondered if she needed to seriously re-evaluate things.

Her intent that day had been to give Alya the fox miraculous permanently, as well as make her the understudy for guardian. The moral she took from that day had been about making mistakes and learning from them, but—

Force. That's what Kagami had said. Marinette had been so focused on how Alya felt bad for the decision that she'd forgotten what mattered.

Alya felt bad now, but it was after there'd been consequences. When Alya told Nino about her crush on Adrien, she didn't apologize; she tried to deny it. When Alya and the girls talked about letting her crush "whenever she was ready" and she said that she'd focus on friendship, Alya had abandoned that within the week.

Even now, Marinette pressed her lips together firmly, imagining her giving Alya the fox, trusting her to tell no one, and then Alya would blab, probably to Nino.

She hated that it seem in character.

"Marinette!"

"Your opponent is me, not Marinette."

Marinette glanced up, seeing the two girls still apparently mid-argument, though she hadn't kept up with all of it. She could guess what happened though, and Alya seemed protective of her title of... of what? "Best friend"? "Crush enabler"? Regardless, she seemed to be seeking her out to tell Kagami that everything was wrong.

Marinette opened her mouth, a part of her genuinely wanting to defend Alya on the basis of friendship, but then memories sprang forward.

The slamming of a door when she'd been meant to babysit.

The crinkling of a bag as her humiliating mistake was revealed to her friends without her consent.

Her body hitting the pavement as she was soaked from the rain.

Embarrassment. Misery. Pain.

Whenever she was ready? No, it had been whenever Alya decided she was ready, putting a slew of expectations and pressure on her that she'd never realized before.

Thus, Marinette's mouth closed, and she stared silently down at her lap.

Alya's face was barely visible from her line of sight, but Marinette could tell that she was upset that she hadn't been defended. There was a pause, as if Alya had been weighing her options of going further, but then she turned abruptly and simply left, perhaps to blow off steam.

Kagami watched her go, waiting until the trap door was closed to look back at Marinette. Marinette dared to peek up, experience telling her that she had still done something wrong, and that was supported by the fact that Kagami's gaze was still stiff.

Kagami stepped forward, the kwami ducking away just in time to hide as she turned and sat down on the chaise, right next to Marinette. Her hands were folded in her lap, and Kagami stared ahead at nothing for the longest time before turning.

"How was my performance?"

Marinette jolted and made eye contact with her, blinking rapidly at the question. "Eh?"

"That was the first time defending a friend," Kagami explained. She looked forward again, and it was that point that made Marinette realize that her expression hadn't been stiff from anger; it was nerves. "So I'm asking how I did."

"O-oh." Marinette dropped her gaze back to the floor, still stunned that this was where the conversation had gone. "You—you were great?" She realized how disingenuous it sounded and quickly corrected herself, waving her hands frantically in reassurance. "I-I mean it! You did great for your first try!"

Kagami smiled faintly for the first time since she'd gotten there.

Marinette smiled back, her anxiety easing but her mental walls hesitant to come down. Kagami might've noticed it with the way she fell back into seriousness.

"I'm still upset about what happened at the pool," she clarified. Looking down, she ran her fingers along her ring and added, "But I also know that you were trying to make me feel better, and I never thanked you for caring about me. I've gotten traits from my mother without realizing it, and I'm not proud of all of them. I'm still working on it."

Marinette nodded slowly, absorbing that. "Is...is that why you knew that I was taking from Alya?"

The name coming out of her mouth reminded her of the necklace in her hand, which she quickly stashed away.

"I suspected," Kagami admitted, "but I didn't put it together until after the event was already over." She sighed. "In fencing, nothing else matters except for that duel. During Friendship Day, nothing mattered except my goal of winning and making a friend."

Without her saying it, Marinette understood. She'd always seen Kagami as this pinnacle of perfection, but both she and Kagami knew deep down that she wasn't even if she strived for it. She'd been short-sighted, focusing on the there-and-then during that moment in the elevator instead of looking at the big picture and making the connection to what happened earlier.

I didn't make the connection until now either, Marinette offered through a look, though unsure if Kagami read it properly. Normally, she might've scolded herself for being stupid, but Kagami had just confessed to having not seen a flaw within her own self as well.

It was nice, actually, having someone like Kagami who was blunt but not outright forceful.

"That's what's great about having friends," she thought aloud, gesturing a hand between them. "They can see what you can't, or... tell you when you're being too harsh on yourself."

Kagami eyed her, seeming to catch the multi-layered meaning. "...Yes, I think so too. Thank you."

Marinette beamed.

The silence stretched on, but this time it was something more comfortable. She found herself relaxing, making a mental note that this was the first time Kagami had been in her room and she should go about inviting her over more whenever Kagami could manage to sneak out. She always seemed to favor oranges, so maybe she could ask her parents about—

"Marinette."

Marinette looked over, drawn out of her thoughts by the sudden call. "Y-yes?"

"I—" Kagami paused, her brows furrowing and her mouth twisting in what seemed like frustration. "I have to apologize to you."

"For what?" Marinette tilted her head, puzzled. "You didn't do anything."

"It's not what I did. It's what I thought," Kagami clarified, looking down at her lap in shame. "I saw you with Adrien and my short-sightedness blinded me. I shouldn't have thought that you were made for each other."

"You thought what?"

"Adrien didn't just disappoint me," she explained, her hands tightening into fists. "He...he wronged me, and I don't think he was even sorry for it. He ignored me, and then had the gall to act like what we had was real."

Kagami's gaze grew intense, her eyes blazing as she muttered what Marinette could only guess was rapid Japanese. She didn't understand the language herself, but knew from the tone how much Kagami had been hurt.

Marinette felt genuinely bad about it. She'd misunderstood the entire situation, believing that both Kagami and Adrien were monuments to being perfect, yet the moment she was in now had proven that Kagami wasn't perfect and even that Kagami herself knew that.

Was Adrien not perfect either then? Marinette wondered about it, not wanting to think that she'd been wrong for so long but unable to ignore it. Kagami had high standards, certainly, but her only friend was a girl people either teased or mocked for being clumsy and making mistakes.

Marinette found herself blushing at the idea that Kagami saw her as someone better than Adrien. It made her feel special.

"I won't tell you not to go after Adrien," Kagami stated, "but I think you could do much better than him."

"Really?"

She nodded, then let out a groan as she hunched over, rubbing at one of her temples in irritation. "I regret everything that happened, and all the time I put into trying to make him fall for me. I only wish I'd known it sooner."

Marinette didn't respond at first, but the words hit somewhere all too familiar in her heart.

Regret. Time. Wishing for something different.

She reached over, placing a gentle hand on Kagami's shoulder. The posture reminded her of herself, right after she'd had to break up with Luka and drowned herself in the regret of everything she couldn't help. It wasn't exactly the same - Luka and Adrien were far different from each other, and in ways that she'd have to think about later given the new information Kagami had dropped on her - but regret was something they could relate on.

She remembered what she'd been about to tell Alya, and it suddenly seemed very appropriate to the moment. Smiling, Marinette offered, "I think mistakes are normal. What matters is that you learn from them and improve in the future."

Kagami's eyes met hers with a questioning gaze.

"Maybe..." Marinette began thoughtfully. Throwing her hands out enthusiastically, she suggested, "Maybe instead of all that time you used to spend with Adrien, you can spend it with me! We can hang out and do things together—well, not your fencing classes, because you have to take those with him, and I can also be really busy, but—"

Kagami nodded, straightening as she assured, "Yes. I'd like that."

Since her arms were already outstretched, Marinette simply giggled and lunged forward, pulling Kagami into a hug. Kagami herself went stiff at the gesture, frozen in place for a moment before she raised a hand and rested it on Marinette's back in some sort of one-armed hug. Marinette didn't really mind; Kagami was trying.

"...Oh," Kagami suddenly said, like she'd realized something.

Marinette pulled away with a curious look. "What?"

"That boy, Luka, came with me," she replied. "But I insisted on going first. He's waiting downstairs for you."

"What?!"

Marinette jumped up on alert. It wasn't that she was unhappy to hear that Luka had visited - after all the tension and drama, his calm demeanor was more than welcome - but she felt embarrassed at having made him wait, even if she hadn't known.

"Ah, thanks, Kagami! I'll call you later!" she said with a panicked wave.

Kagami waved calmly in response, then stood up to follow; ah, right, there was only one way to leave.

Marinette headed for the trap door, opening it and hurrying down to the bottom of the stairs. Kagami's footsteps trailed behind, then passed her, followed by the sound of the door shutting.

Luka glanced up from his position against the couch. He'd been leaning against the back of it, arms crossed in what seemed to be contemplation. Upon making eye contact with Marinette, however, he relaxed and leaned back into a comfortable stand, letting his arms drop down to his sides.

"Hey," he greeted, the simple word seeming to carry a bit of weight.

"Hey," Marinette greeted back with a slight squeak. "Sorry for making you wait."

"You didn't know," he assured, having probably guessed that Kagami wouldn't have mentioned him until now. "Sorry if we interrupted anything important."

She giggled, waving off the comment and finding it cute how he said 'we' as if he personally had stormed into her room. "No no, it's okay. I mean, Kagami did interrupt, but—" She paused, remembering the feel of the fox miraculous. "—she stopped me from making a huge mistake."

Luka merely smiled, not prying on the matter but seeming happy for her.

She smiled back, but it faded as she remembered that he'd come for a reason. She tilted her head, asking, "S-so... what are you doing here?"

He frowned, turning to face her fully and rubbing the back of his neck. "I... I was thinking, and..." He gave her a regretful look. "I wanted to say that I'm sorry."

"Huh?" She blinked, surprised and unable to imagine what Luka Couffaine would ever have to apologize for. Being too nice, maybe? "For what?"

He hesitated, like he was considering how to word it, but given the way he sighed afterward, there seemed to be no smooth way of saying it. "That day - my birthday - even if it was full of sour notes, I was really happy to get a chance to finally talk to you." He visibly cringed. "But I never wanted it to be like that. If we were going to talk, I wanted it to be when you were ready."

That made her even more confused. The gesture was sweet, and she could piece together that he must've asked Juleka about the meddling that happened on that day, but, "It's okay? It wasn't you, it was Alya and the others, and..." She trailed off, flashing back to what had happened with Kagami and Alya and catching herself before she defended the action.

"But it's not okay," he retorted. Pausing, his eyes darting away briefly, he asked, "Do they... do they do that a lot?"

"Do what—?" She stopped, finally realizing what must've caused his visit to be then even if they were talking about past events; he was here for the same reason as Kagami. "Force me into things?"

His gaze grew pained. "Yeah."

"...Sometimes," she admitted quietly, feeling ashamed to be talking about it in front of Luka. "Occasionally, um... a lot."

He looked down, brows furrowing in what seemed to be frustration. "And I'm no better than they are."

"What?!" She stepped towards him, waving her arms frantically. "What are you talking about? That's not true!"

He smiled weakly at her, but shook his head in disagreement. Gesturing a hand out vaguely, he explained, "I never thought about how much pressure was on you. I stepped back every day because I wanted you to make all the choices. I didn't want you to pick me because I wouldn't leave you alone, but I didn't know that Alya and the girls were doing..." His face contorted in disgust. "that. I tried to smile for you, but I had no idea they did it so often."

"What happened on the elevator?"

"Everything," he corrected. "Jule told me everything, about everything they and Alya did even if you weren't ready for it. That wasn't fair."

She'd never thought about it that way. Adrien was always the one she was pushed towards, not Luka, and any "pressuring" from the girls to look his way was minimal. In that respect, it was impressive that she'd ever dated Luka at all.

Come to think of it, it hadn't been fair to Kagami either, and Marinette felt a pit form in her stomach that she could've hypothetically "won" Adrien due to being surrounded by friends while Kagami was doing everything herself.

"...But—" She looked back up at him. "I don't understand? What does that have to do with you? What did you do?"

He apologized once more with his expression alone, running his fingers into his hair and ruffling it. "I was just—I didn't want to let you go without saying anything—" He cut himself off, correcting to, "—but I won't make excuses for myself. We had a chance to talk, finally, and... the first thing I asked about was Adrien."

She frowned sympathetically. "I—you were only trying to help. I mean, what else were you supposed to think—"

"—But I shouldn't have thought anything," he interrupted, his voice firmer than usual. "I told you that I would be there for you when you wanted to talk, but I didn't ask anything, and I shouldn't have assumed anything either." He clutched at his scalp, shutting his eyes tight in shame. "You're so much more than the person you like, Marinette, and instead of doing what I promised, I talked for you and made everything about Adrien."

"Luka..."

She wanted to comfort him, but knew that he'd only shoot her down again. He blamed himself for his presumptions over their break-up, and it was the way he dealt with it that led to the girls forcing her into talking with him in the first place. Even if everything did point to her breaking up with him over Adrien, he hadn't heard it from her directly.

Marinette stared down at the floor, gloom clouding her expression as she realized how much of a mess her infatuation with Adrien had made things. Her memories of all the schemes were re-contextualized now that she'd heard what Kagami had to say about the situation, bitterness replaced what was once fondness.

The girl squad supporting her was actually them forcing her, and while she took all the blame for everything bad that had happened, that hadn't been fair to herself. She deserved better than that, and maybe she'd understood - at least deep down - all the pressure that was riding on her confessing to Adrien, no matter what the girls claimed about doing things "when she was ready."

She winced at the embarrassment flooding her system, feeling humiliated that she'd let this go on for so long. She'd wasted so much time and energy going after Adrien, and the idea of continuing to try made her feel sick to her stomach.

She remembered what Kagami had said - about her deserving better than Adrien - and she genuinely wondered if she might be right, not just concerning Adrien but concerning herself.

Did she really want to keep chasing him? Keep making a fool out of herself when she failed? Cry to herself whenever she'd realize that nothing had happened and Adrien hadn't so much as asked to hang out with her without a big asterisk attached?

The guy she loved through schemes, jealousy, and shame didn't notice her, and none of those things sounded like the kind of pure love she wanted to have.

She'd thought she'd never love Luka in the way she loved Adrien, and how that proved that Adrien was the one she'd truly liked, but maybe she'd been thinking about that all wrong. The ability to think, to feel, and to act without any nerves attached... wasn't that what she'd wanted all along?

Because if so, she already had it. She had it right here.

Marinette's eyes scanned over Luka, but he seemed lost in his own thoughts as well, still trapped in this guilt he'd convinced himself of. She hesitated, then approached, reaching out to lay her hand on his.

He flinched, eyes snapping open in surprise due to having not noticed her. She smiled at him, gently holding his hand to bring it down from his face. His eyes darted to their hands, then back to her, brows furrowing with a wordless question.

"I forgive you, Luka, really, and I...I'm sorry too." She squeezed his hand, letting out a breath at the familiar sensation of calm washing over her. "You're right. We didn't talk - not really - and I'm sorry I made you feel like that while I was avoiding you. I just—I was scared."

"Scared of talking to me?" he asked.

"No! Scared of you getting akumatized again!" she cried out. "Bad things are always happening to you when I'm around! You always get hurt, and you got akumatized twice because of me! You'd be able to get a charm now at least, but I—"

"Wait," Luka cut in, raising his free hand to indicate that she stop, "what do you mean?"

"Huh?"

"I got akumatized twice 'because of you'?" he asked for clarification.

Marinette faltered, confused by his tone. "Yes? I tried to take down Bob Roth myself, and..."

"Are you blaming yourself for defending our work?" he challenged.

"A-ah—no, but—still, and then you got akumatized because of me keeping secrets from you."

He gaped at her, horror taking over his expression. "Marinette," he breathed, gently grabbing her shoulder, "if I knew you felt that way, I..." He halted, briefly gritting his teeth and seeming to be struggling for words. "Anyway, it's not your fault. None of it is. Bob Roth was the one I was angry at, not you, and I would never blame you having secrets you didn't want to share with me."

She broke eye contact with him, letting out a noncommittal noise, but he gently took her chin and turned her head back to her. His gaze was intense, leaving little room for doubt on her end when he spoke.

"I got myself akumatized because Shadow Moth took advantage of my doubts. I took what my parents did to me and thought you were going to play the same song. That wasn't fair to you."

"But—!" She stopped, having the distinct feeling that they would go back and forth to blame themselves otherwise; it wouldn't help anyone and would only make them both feel more guilty.

He smiled at her silence, the indicator that she wouldn't argue with him. "Thank you."

"I've never heard anyone be grateful to someone for letting them take the blame."

He retracted his hand from her shoulder and shrugged in response. "It was wrong, and now I want to fix it. I wasn't dating you for long, but I still wished I'd thought to ask about what the girls were doing.

"I didn't tell you," she reminded him, realizing belatedly that such a thing seemed to be a recurring problem for her. She supposed that keeping secrets for so long had gotten her used to lying and remaining quiet, even if she didn't have to. She was tired of keeping things hidden away, especially when she was such an open person, but revealing to Alya had caused a whole slew of problems that she'd rather not relive.

Though, give everything that Kagami had said, maybe it wasn't her reveal that had been the problem, but the person she'd revealed to?

"Marinette?"

She glanced up, seeing Luka looking concerned with how she'd been lost in her own head. The memory of his apology - that he'd been determined to improve - gave her pause, along with a hopeful skip in her heart.

They were still holding each other's hand.

"Sorry." She smiled reassuringly. "I was just thinking."

He nodded in understanding, but the concern on his face didn't fade, his eyes drifting off to the side in thought. She instinctively wanted to worry that she'd offended him, but remembered what they'd talked about when it came to assuming.

"What is it?" she asked.

He looked back, briefly surprised, then chuckled sheepishly. It was almost strange to see him fidget, his hand rhythmically tapping his leg while he remained silent.

"I don't want to make the same mistake as before," he replied, taking a step back to pull away from her, "but I need to see where you stand."

She blinked, her heart skipping a beat at the implication. He wanted to know where she stood with him now... romantically?

"A-ah." She ducked her head, but tried to act as if she didn't know. "Now I'm curious."

He frowned, unsure, but the question seemed to eat at him until he finally folded. "Marinette..." He rubbed the back of his neck, like he knew he was asking something awkward. "do you want to be in love with Adrien?"

She straightened in surprise, the question having caught her off-guard. "What?"

"I'd never even think of pressuring you like the girls do, but if Adrien's the one for you, I'd support it." He offered her a small smile. "I just need to know if that's what you want."

It took her a moment to process what he was trying to tell her, the mere mention of Adrien having smothered the warmth she'd felt before. Her fingers twitched, already missing his comforting hand in hers.

She'd never thought about it like that. The question had always been about when she was going to confess to Adrien, and it was always hurtful when she knew that she had tried, failing even when she succeeded. The simple shift of just a few words made all the difference, it seemed.

She genuinely considered it, having wondered about it just a moment before but now she was faced with the actual question.

"What if I don't...?" she wondered aloud, thinking back to all the time she'd spent going after Adrien and what it might be like to just—not.

"If you don't like how the instrument sounds, we can always work on it," he replied. Letting out a chuckle, possibly to lighten the mood, he then smiled and added, "I like to think I'm becoming a pretty good luthier, so..."

She snorted, any tension in her shoulders releasing as she giggled. That simple sound somehow made him smile even wider, and she noted to herself that she'd longed for it in the time they'd been apart.

It was strange, pleasant, and wonderful all at once, seeing the kind of effect she had on him.

The answer came easily after that. "No... to the Adrien thing, I mean. I—" She brought a hand to her face, neatening her bangs. "—I don't think I ever wanted to like him. It just—it happened, and his face was everywhere so even when I tried to forget about him, he was always there. I think..." She met his gaze more confidently, knowing that she couldn't take anything back once she'd said it. "I think I'm ready though. I want to be ready. I don't want to be pushed around anymore. I want to focus on what - who - matters to me... who's already there for me."

He nodded, taking a step closer to close the gap he'd created before. She reached out for his hand, intentionally stopping with just a light touch, to which he looked down in surprise. After a moment of pause, he met her the rest of the way, letting her hold his hand.

"Okay," he breathed, perhaps more to himself than to her. She noted the quiet, half-lidded expression on his face that she read as him still taking everything in.

It made sense to her. She'd avoided him for a while and he'd said himself that he made everything about Adrien. He'd lived with that assumption for a while, so everything that happened today and everything they talked about was a shock to what he thought he knew.

She could relate.

"...Luka."

He glanced up from their hands to look her in the eyes, letting out a hum of curiosity so she knew he was listening.

"It wasn't about you, and it wasn't about Adrien either." She waved her free hand dismissively. "The break-up, I mean. It wasn't even me. There was a lot going on in my head and I just felt so bad that I didn't even think explaining would make anything better, but that's no excuse. I should've told you more, even if it wouldn't have mattered."

Luka opened his mouth, seeming wholly prepared to reassure her, but she raised her hand, smiling as she pressed two fingers to his lips to silence him. His eyes opened wide at the gesture, and she could've sworn that she saw his cheeks tint pink.

"Thank you for always giving me a choice, Luka. Maybe it sounds silly to you, but I don't always get one. I don't even give myself one half the time, so..." She took a deep breath, steeling herself up and trying to focus over the feeling of her heart pounding in her chest. "I'm choosing this. I want this to be my choice."

She dropped her fingers from his lips, but he didn't reply, simply blinking at her with his full attention. She turned away, gently tugging on his hand and taking him across the floor. She rounded the couch to get to the front of it, sitting down and then wordlessly encouraging Luka to do the same.

Even once he was next to her, she didn't let go of his hand, nor did he with hers. Their hands merely rested between them, and she squeezed to remind herself that he was there.

And she trusted him. There would be no going back, no oncoming mental breakdown to blame, and she found that she was okay with that. She looked at him, the sunlight from the window glistening off of one of her earrings.

"Luka... there's something I want to tell you."