Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sapnap trudged through the grass, feeling irritated by the cool breeze hitting his figure gently. He’s been feeling irritated by a lot of things recently; he’s realized. The way the grass tries to slice his ankles, how the sun beats down onto him, the clouds moving just a little too slow. 

He’s noticed it more since Dream has been put into prison, having a lot more time to think rather than thinking about El Rapids - morely Kinoko Kingdom nowadays. 

The raven haired male lets out a sigh, seeing the said kingdom come into view. The huge mushroom buildings being hit by the rays of light, birds flying around. Don’t get him wrong, he loves this place. Founded by him, one of his fiancé’s and his best friend? It means the world to him that this place is standing.

Sapnap just felt as if something was wrong. The feeling that he’s missing something. He’s had this feeling as long as he could remember, but always pushed it aside - because he has everything, right? 

He has one of fiancé’s by his side, going to see the other soon, his best friend, his dad (despite him being a little too invested in an egg at the moment, what’s that even about?) and a good home. He has everything he could need in life!

Except this damn fucking feeling won’t go away. 

Gritting his teeth together, Sapnap grips the packaxe in his hand tighter as he begins making his way towards the nether portal. 

Being a blaze hybrid, it feels natural for him to be in the hot realm. Whenever going, he instantly relaxes as he watches the ghasts float by, piglins doing their own things as they gather some more gold to hoard. 

Ignoring the slight nauseous feeling once going through the portal, Sapnap takes a deep breath of the suffocating air. He feels the tension in his body fade away, the young adult letting out a half-hearted laugh.

Walking down the path that Puffy had fixed, Sapnap looks around at his surroundings. It hurts to see how the SMP has affected this part of the nether, but knew that the rest of the dimension was untouched and safe from them all. 

He raises an eyebrow as he notices a path on the side thinning out, going from logs to obsidian, clearly unstable. He knows where the path leads to, he’s been down it once before; months ago. 

It never really bothered him before, yet for some reason the path makes his stomach turn. Furrowing his eyebrows, Sapnap carefully begins walking down the shaky path, ignoring the sign stating that he was now entering Logstedshire. 

Tommy’s exile area had been beautiful, despite it all. The mostly untouched beach with more fresh air than Sapnap could remember. Tommy had never been one to build, so it wasn’t like he was going to clear the trees and start a civilization there.

Seeing how exile had went for him, and the outcome of everything; Sapnap doubted that even if Tommy was a builder, he wouldn’t have been able to do much anyways with Dream around.

Making his way towards the nether portal leading to the beach, Sapnap stops in his tracks.

Curled up, leaning against the portal was no one other than TommyInnit. 

He debated leaving the teen alone and turning around to go back home, forget this even happened. The teen clearly didn’t want to be disturbed by anyone, judging how he had come back here of all places; yet something pulled for him to confront him. 

Last Sapnap had heard, the teen had died at the hands of Dream in the prison. 

He and Tommy had never been close. They’ve gone against each other in wars, and even without any conflict, Sapnap never found himself getting close with the teen. If anything, he found him pretty fucking annoying; always running around and claiming everything was his.

Yet, seeing him now; guards down, Sapnap wanted to try. 

Taking small steps towards the teen, he hesitates. Is this a good idea?

“Tommy?” He calls out, the teens head snapping up to see who it was. A white streak covered his one eye, mixing in with the ashy blond hair of his; making him look a little like Wilbur. 

Guess they are really brothers. He thinks to himself, yet the thought had made him feel as if it was wrong.

Seeing the teen stare at him, Sapnap notices how different the teen looks. It’s as if the fire in him had gone out, his eyes dulled and grey. He had a blue knitted sweater over him, and god- he looked as if he hadn’t slept properly in weeks.

“The fuck you want, bitch?” Tommy calls out, voice raspy. Sapnap furrows his eyebrows, debating on if this was even a good idea once more.

“Are you okay?” He goes with instead, Tommy eying him before nodding stiffly. “Of course i’m fucking okay! I don’t need your pity.” He yells out, making Sapnap wince. 

Taking another step forward, Sapnap rolls his eyes. “You know, maybe it isn’t out of pity? Maybe I just, oh I don’t know, care about you?” He shoots back, Tommy huffing out a laugh as he looks away. “Sure. Why would you, of all people, care about me?” Tommy exaggerates, making Sapnap stop in place.

Why was he here? 

“Because I just do?” He replies, though it seems more like a question than an answer. Tommy shakes his head, bringing it back down to his knees. “Cool. Please leave now.” He grumbles, Sapnap sighing as he sits down beside the teen.

“Why the nether? Why here?” He asks instead, looking back out towards the shaky path; Ghasts floating around, not even paying attention to them despite being in eyesight. Weird.

“Because I fuckin’ like the nether? What’s it to you?” Tommy shoots back, bringing his head back up to him to glare at the older male. Sapnap glares back, shaking his head. 

“Because you’re human. Isn't like, I don’t know, the heat too much for you?”

Tommy pierces his lips, looking away. The two sit in silence for a few moments before the teen shrugs. “Not really, no. It’s always been.. comforting, for me, really.” He says softly, more soft than Sapnap has ever even heard the teen be.

Raising an eyebrow as his lips quirk up, he huffs out a laugh. “You’re weird.” He tells him, Tommy scoffing as he plays with the sleeve of his sweater. “Fuck off.” 

The two banter with each other more than they ever had, and the feeling that Sapnap had been missing something went away through time. Talking with the blond had helped, and it made the hybrid think that maybe there was something that he was missing. 

Tommy wasn’t as annoying as everyone makes him to be when having a genuine conversation with him, and even sitting in silence when the two run out of words; Sapnap found himself more content than he had been in a long time.

He glanced over to the teen, who had his eyes closed as he continued to lean against the portal. Piercing his lips together, he came to a conclusion.

“Want to come back to Kinoko Kingdom with me?” He asks quietly, Tommy peaking an eye open as he looks over to Sapnap tiredly. “What the fuck is that?” He grumbles out, Sapnap huffing out a laugh as he stands up.

Stretching his arm out for the teen to take, Tommy stares up at him as Sapnap smiles gently at him. “C’mon, idiot.” He pushes, Tommy glaring at him before grabbing his hand, Sapnap helping him up; beginning to lead the way towards the kingdom.

The feeling of missing something never came back as they walked back. 

Chapter Text

Tommy didn’t know how to feel about this. 

He didn’t know how to feel with the sudden kindness being given to him from Sapnap. The light-hearted teasing, the soft look he gives as Tommy talks about a topic - the brotherly love that Wilbur used to give him. 

He wanted to say it was out of pity, yet whenever he mentioned it, Sapnap had shut it down; glaring at the teen and telling him that it wasn’t out of pity. 

It confused him. It makes him want to scream and cry and hide away in his wooden hut once more. 

Yet, at the same time; it made Tommy want it more. He wanted that brotherly relationship he used to have with Wilbur again - except this time, it’s with Sapnap rather than his real brother. (He ignored the way his stomach turned at the thought of Wilbur being his brother.) He wanted to feel loved again, and if it's by his abuser's ex-best friend; then so be it - because everyone he loved had left him or replaced him. 

His family left him - Phil and Techno destroying L’Manburg with Dream, Wilbur blowing up L’Manburg himself and dying - leaving no room to even say goodbye to him. 

Tubbo replaced him, and of course, Tommy doesn’t blame him. Ranboo was a much better friend and person than he ever was. Tubbo deserved Ranboo - to be happy. 

Sam left him. Told him that he’d murder him if he was even seen by the prison. Sam had gained his trust, made him believe that maybe someone could be there for him; and destroyed it. 

It is his fault though.

Dream left him. 

No, wait - Dream wasn’t his friend. Dream couldn’t have left him.

But he did.

Sapnap eyes Tommy, the teen being awfully quiet for someone labelled as loud and annoying. He furrowed his eyebrows, looking ahead to the path. 

Tommy bites the insides of his cheek, looking down to his feet as he walked. Would Wilbur find him, wherever Sapnap is taking him? Would Wilbur try the same things he’s doing with Las Navadas; trying to get in and then suddenly becoming rivals with them?

He isn’t sure if he wants Wilbur to find him.

“How many people know about this place?” He asked quietly, Sapnap glancing back over to Tommy with a small smile. 

“Me, George, Karl, Foolish - and now you.” He answers, Tommy piercing his lips as he nods his head at the answer.

“Why are you showing me this?” He presses further, Sapnap humming softly as he thinks of an answer for the teen; ending up shrugging in response. “Am I not allowed to show off something I found?” He asks, a smirk on his face as he looks back to the blond. Tommy eyes him, until scoffing at the answer that Sapnap had given him. “Seems like you’re bragging. Are you bragging, Sapnap?” He taunts, Sapnap scoffing as he rolls his eyes fondedly. 

“No, I’m not bragging-”

“It seems like you are! No one likes braggers, Sapnap.” 

Sapnap glares at the teen, huffing. “Oh, shut up and follow me.” He says, Tommy smirking (Sapnap notes how it’s not the usual wide grin that the teen would have when bothering someone, this smirk being a little less sparked with the usual fire that the teen has set inside of him) as he follows the raven haired male.

The entry point to the small kingdom makes view, Tommy’s eyes widening as they get closer to the place that Sapnap seems to call home; Sapnap’s smile widening as joy bubbles up inside of him as it clicks in that he’s finally home without the consistent feeling of missing something. ‘

Of course, It’s weird. Sapnap could think back to being around Tommy before all the wars, the two of them easily falling into some sort of dynamic; and he had felt the same he would feel now. Complete. Like he was where he was supposed to be. 

Now, after everything, their dynamic had broken apart along with the walls that fell from the bombs and the yelling of empty promises; Sapnap still feels he’s where he’s supposed to be when around the hot-headed blond; as if he was around family. 

It made no sense to Sapnap, seeing as how he and Tommy weren’t related in any way possible - the blond being human whereas he was from the Nether; a blaze hybrid. He didn’t remember much from his time in the Nether, being too young to understand what was happening. He remembered Bad finding him, but he also remembered the feeling of leaving something behind. Though, it really could have been an item he treasured. 

From what Sapnap knows, Tommy is Phil’s son. He wasn’t sure if he was adopted like he was, but he never heard Phil, Wilbur or Techno - even Tommy himself - mention that he was adopted. Tommy even looked like Phil in a way, so he couldn’t be, right? 

Tommy and him just fit well together, there was no need to think further into this. Sapnap probably needed a friend that wasn’t his fiance (s?) or George. 

Sapnap shook the thought away, instead focusing on what was happening right in front of him. Coming to an abrupt stop, he turned quick enough to give him whiplash - a wide grin on his face as Tommy stared at the kingdom in front of him until looking over to Sapnap. 

“Welcome to Kinoko Kingdom, Tommy!” He exclaims, gesturing towards the mushroom themed area. Tommy furrowed his eyebrows, hesitantly taking slow steps past the gate. 

Tommy stared with amazement, but of course; he wouldn’t say that to Sapnap. Never would he tell Sapnap how this place was probably better built than Las Nevadas, having more of a ‘this is home’ vibe rather than ‘your life might become a living hell here’ vibe. 

“S’ cool, right?” Sapnap asks, the teen quickly turning to face the older male again, biting the insides of his cheeks before nodding. “Yeah, cool.” He agrees quietly, Sapnap frowning at the sound of how quiet the teen was because it’s so wrong, hearing him keep to himself rather being as loud as he could possibly be-

“Want a tour?” He says, the statement being more of a suggestion rather than a question. Tommy furrows his eyebrows, the two of them standing in silence before the teen nods slightly. Sapnap grins, and gestures for the teen to follow him. 

Tommy somewhat listens as the tour begins, the majority of it being tuned out as Tommy dives into his thoughts. The answers to the questions that Tommy had asked Sapnap had been bullshit, there was no way that the male cared this much about him to show him something that he clearly treasured. He was curious as to why the sudden kindness from him, and he wondered if it really was all out of pity despite what Sapnap says about it. He wonders what drove Sapnap this far for him to seem to want to be around him, or how many diamond blocks someone had offered him to be around Tommy and talk to him as if they were best friends reuniting. 

Tommy was confused, and really, he wanted to get to the bottom of it. 

Though, he wouldn’t mind the kindness that Sapnap was offering for a little while longer. If Sapnap was going to play a game with him, then he might as well play along until the raven haired male gets annoyed and tells him to leave.

It won’t be long until that happens, anyways.