Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“I heard the mission bell

And I was thinking to myself,

"This could be Heaven, or this could be Hell"

Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way

There were voices down the corridor”

The Eagles, Hotel California (1976)

It was raining the day Levi moved to his new apartment. The sky was a plumbeous grey and chucking it down. He was soaked to the bone even before that fucking car gave him an unwanted shower of dirty asphalt water. He’d been a sprinter in high school, 15 years before, and he was still young and strong enough to outrun most people younger than him. Yelling at the car was useless and out of the question. In his rage, he grabbed a rock from a flowerbed on the pavement and threw it full force against the car’s rear windshield. It smashed into a million white squares, and the driver hit the brakes too suddenly. The car behind him collided with his. The driver of that car got out with a baseball bat. Levi stared for two seconds and mingled with the upset crowd piercing through them and their jostling umbrellas, hearing a swear here and there and ran to where his new flat was. 

It was a nice neighbourhood, and the flat had been suspiciously cheap, but he didn’t care. He liked it. It was spacious, and the sun rose on that side of the building. And it was on the top floor. The only issue with that apparent blessing was that the lift didn’t go there. The landlord didn’t tell him why and he didn’t ask because he was able-bodied. He could take the stairs to the 9th floor just fine. Climbing two flights of stairs was not a problem.

“The corridor is a bit windy, sweetheart,” the old landlord told him when he handed him the key after he paid the security deposit. Levi glared at him hearing the shitty petname, “but don’t think too much of it. It’s just the wind, and for this price, who cares about a little bit of wind, eh? And you only have a neighbour, and he’s a good fella, pays his rent on time, always polite. Maybe a bit crazy. Says he hears weird noises at night,” the landlord said and laughed. Levi looked at him when he heard that loud laugh, “but it’s just the wind. Maybe he’s paranoid. I don’t care.”

Levi had an odd feeling about the way the man avoided his gaze when he said that. But the man, Mr Kirschstein, was right – the rent was way below market value for that property. Wind noises wouldn’t be an issue. 

Levi was angry when he reached the 9th floor and then climbed the stairs to the 10th floor. The corridor was just like all the other corridors in the building. The walls had been painted white recently, and the sconces on the walls were yellow. The light fanned up from the glass and stuck on the walls, unmoving. The floor was covered in unscathed beige tiles and had a brownish paisley runner rug across it that didn’t look like many people had walked on it. 

“Fucking hell,” Levi whispered when he managed to get the damp key in the hole and get in his flat. He’d already cleaned it and furnished it. He pulled off his boots and put them aside by the door. He’d clean the damp mess after showering and getting a dry change of clothes. 

Levi was glad to be short for once when he got his clothes off in the bathroom. The only thing he could see in the bathroom mirrors was his face, not the rest of his body. And after his combat style four minutes shower he grabbed his clothes and put them on as quickly as he could. 

He was cleaning the mess by the door and along the hallway when he heard his doorbell and raised an eyebrow. The landlord? He’d said the neighbours kept to themselves, so he didn’t think it’d be a neighbour.

And yet, it was. The neighbour from his floor for sure. The landlord hadn’t described him or said his name. Levi had checked the name on his mailbox downstairs. It had to be the man called ‘E. Smith’. The man was tall, and what Levi noticed first were his bloodshot blue eyes, with grey bags under them. He looked confused, and Levi knew why.

“Can I help you?” Levi said, quietly looking up at him. 

“I guess he made some mistake, he's getting old after all," E. Smith mumbled and then smiled, "Mr Kirschstein told me I’d have a neighbour and I… well, I’m not good at cooking, but I can make nice biscuits,” he said. Levi stared at his gentle, tired eyes and his smile and then at the plastic container with biscuits inside, “I don’t want to be weird, but I’m happy to have a neighbour.”

Levi remembered the stories the landlord had told him about this man. Looking at him then, he was even surer that someone was lying. And as a principle, he’d say it was the landlord, not this E. Smith, who’d baked him biscuits. Levi carefully accepted the box and stared at the man.

“Erwin,” he said quickly, reaching his hand, “Erwin Smith, sorry.”

“Levi Ackerman,” Levi said, voice low, accepting the hand and shaking it, “I don’t have anything to give you.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Erwin said and smiled, “I just… I,” he covered his eyes and sighed, “I just don’t like this place and knowing I’m not alone anymore made me a bit happy. I’m sorry,” Erwin said and uncovered his eyes, looking at Levi, “the biscuits are good, seriously. You can bin them, but they’re not bad or laced with anything,” Erwin said and looked at him, “I hear weird noises at night,” he said at last and Levi had already heard that bit, “I’ve been here for six months and would move out if this wasn’t so affordable and well-located,” he said and leant against Levi’s door frame, “I can’t sleep well in here and that’s messing up my work...” he trailed off and shook his head, smiling a little again, “I won’t bother you anymore. If you need me, I’m just across,” he said, “see you around.”

“See you,” Levi said back and held the box seeing Erwin disappear behind the door across from his before closing his door. He was sure that Erwin had gone over as soon as he heard a noise in his flat. In a normal situation, he’d think it was creepy, but seeing the man’s face, he could tell that he was honest. Unlike their landlord, who’d called him ‘sweetheart’.

Levi clicked his tongue and opened the plastic box. They were shortbread biscuits. Levi sent it all to hell and took a bite of one. They were good. He ate it all. And then sat in his living room. No poison. He kept eating the biscuits in silence, thinking. He had the day off from his web programming job. He worked from home and was thankful forever for that. He didn’t have money to pay for medical care yet, and the bureaucracy to have a name and gender change was fucking horrible. Three months? For a name and gender change? It was infuriating.

And he was dreading that Erwin Smith had clocked him. If anything, because of the damn landlord. Before he could stop it, he was eating the biscuits and crying in silence, looking at the dark TV screen through his watery eyes, shaking and gritting his teeth. He emptied the box and did a plank on the floor to do press-ups and get rid of the anger the society filled him with.

Erwin was right. There were weird noises at night and a strange whistling sound that could be mistaken for wind if you were an idiot. It sounded like human wheezing. Sometimes there was laughing. It sounded like it came from far away, a gurgling kind of laugh. But the sound came from that floor, and it wasn’t Erwin’s voice.

Levi met Erwin on the lift several times, and Erwin was friendly and chatty. Levi didn’t know what to say to him, and at one point, Erwin just stopped talking and only greeted him and smiled with his bloodshot eyes and his slightly sad smile. Levi hated it.

It was the 8th of August when Levi finally got his name change and gender change documents in the mail.

When Levi finally got his name change confirmation and changed all his documents as fast as possible, he felt a little more confident.

“Levi? But that’s a man’s name. Your other name wasn’t the prettiest, but this is a man’s name, honey. Why do you want to be a man?” the landlord said when he slapped the proof of identity on his desk and fisted both his hands glaring at the landlord. He was a man. He didn't want to be one.

“It’s my name and my gender,” Levi said firmly, mentally counting to ten not to snap, “please, if you would be so kind, I would like to change my data in my contract.”

“Alright,” the landlord said and snorted. Levi gritted his teeth but didn’t make a scene as the man did as he was told.

Levi walked out of there angry but with his name and gender corrected.

He met Erwin on the lift again and saw him in a crutch, holding a bag of groceries. And then he looked at Erwin’s foot and noticed a cast on his ankle and an orthopaedic boot. He looked like he’d just gotten out of the hospital. His shirt was ripped on the elbow, and he had a plaster over a wound there. 

Levi hated his voice and how much it sounded like Batman’s when he lowered it (he related a lot more to the Joker, so it was annoying), but he was worried. This man was always nice to him and had been his only human contact for nearly a month and he enjoyed his presence. He sent his certainty that he’d been clocked to hell and asked.

“What happened to you?”

Erwin was startled, and Levi wondered if it was his voice. “Um, I kind of fainted…” Erwin said softly, “but I’m fine. They checked my brain and all that. I just fainted.”

“For no reason? You just dropped like a dead bird for no reason?” Levi asked, a bit annoyed, his voice getting higher, but he didn’t care.

“They said it was lack of sleep…” Erwin said, “and stress… I was lucky I fell into a bush,” he said and smiled. 

Levi didn’t think it was funny. “Lack of sleep because of the noises.”

Erwin gripped his crutch and the bag with groceries. “You hear them too?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think it’s the wind?”

“No.”

“I don’t, either,” Erwin said when they got to the 9th floor, and he sighed looking at the stairs.

“I’ll take the bag for you,” Levi offered whimsically, “hold onto me so that you don’t fall. I won’t let you fall.”

Erwin looked like he was about to cry when he smiled, the gratitude shining in his eyes. “Thank you.”

Erwin was warm. That’s the first thing Levi noticed about his body when he held him firmly around the waist. And he smelled like hair pomade and hospitals. Levi helped him to his door and got into his flat to help him with the groceries.

Erwin’s flat was clean and organised but a bit cluttered. He owned many books that he kept neatly on shelves. It smelled nice in there. He had a cute incense burner near the front door. It was a little frog holding the stick with a base that looked like a lily pad.

“I can…”

“No, I’ll do it, just tell me where things go.”

“I don’t want to bother yo-“

Levi snapped at last. “Look, I’ve been being a jerk to you for a month, you talk to me, and I say nothing. This is my way of saying I’m sorry,” he said, gripping a bag of flour and staring at a dumbfounded Erwin, “I could see it in your eyes how sad you were when I ignored you. People like me notice a lot of things.”

Erwin looked confused but smiled. “You don’t have to apologise, Levi… I'm a nuisance, and you don’t seem like the kind of man who likes that kind of person.”

The kind of man.

Levi’s heart skipped a beat when the thought that Erwin didn’t know crossed his mind. “You’re not a nuisance,” Levi said quietly, “but I’m stubborn. Tell me where things go, and I’ll put them away for you.”

Erwin told him, and then they stood there a bit, staring at each other. Levi noticed Erwin’s state. His sunken eyes and pale cheeks. The man was a mess and still.

“I can make you a cup of coffee,” Erwin offered with a smile.

“I don’t drink coffee.

“Oh.”

“But I drink tea.”

Erwin’s tired face lit up with a smile. “I have that as well.”

“And I’ll be the one making both the coffee and the tea,” Levi said and Erwin opened his mouth, “you’re hurt. Go take a bath instead. Get rid of the hospital smell, relax a bit, alright?”

Erwin opened his mouth and then closed it and nodded. “Thank you… I…”

“Don’t say anything,” Levi said filling the kettle to boil the water, not looking at him, “The only reason I sleep a bit is that I work mostly at night and the noises don’t bother me because I crank up the music,” he said getting the tins with the labels for the tea and the coffee, “don’t fall asleep in the tub.”

“Okay, then,” Erwin said and smiled, “thank you.”

Levi worried a bit, seeing that Erwin wasn’t coming out of the bathroom. He figured out where it was by thinking of his own flat and knocked on the door.

“Erwin?”

“Levi,” he heard the embarrassed tone, “I forgot to get clothes.”

Levi huffed and clicked his tongue. “I can get them for you. What do you want?”

“Pyjamas, please… and underwear… also socks,” he paused, “or sock. Just the one. It’s in the dresser.”

Levi got him what he asked and then knocked on the door of the bathroom. “Come in.”

Levi did and saw him sitting on the closet toilet with a towel around his waist, looking like a kicked puppy but smiling. “I’m sorry for the trouble.”

“No trouble, you’re tired,” Levi said trying not to look too much at Erwin’s body but failing miserably, “sorry I’m looking,” he said, straightforward, and Erwin looked confused as he struggled to put on his boxers through the boot.

“Looking at what?” Erwin asked, getting rid of the towel. 

“At your body,” Levi said quietly. When Erwin put on his sock, the little rolls on his stomach attracted Levi's attention, as did his impressive chest and his pinkish nipples, “you’re good-looking.”

And he saw a light blush cover Erwin’s shimmering cheeks when he smiled. “I used to have more brawn going, now it’s a bit soft…” he said, putting on his pyjamas’ top and buttoning it up before struggling with the pants.

“It looks good,” Levi insisted, “I don’t want to be weird. Just a compliment. You had a rough day and….” he hesitated, “so did I.”

They sat together in the living room with their hot drinks, and Levi was extra self-conscious now that he was sure that Erwin hadn’t clocked him. 

They chatted for the first time.

Erwin was a struggling writer. He wrote columns and ghostwrote articles for several newspapers but wanted to write his own book. 

“How’s that going for you?”

“Terribly. I barely have time to think about it,” Erwin said and chuckled, sipping on his coffee, his hurt foot propped on pillows on the coffee table, “I’m not lucky,” Erwin rambled quietly, his naturally deep voice a bit raspy. Levi looked at him, his tousled hair falling to his forehead when he leant back against the back of the blue loveseat, “I make ends meet but I have nobody,” he said and snorted, his eyes welling up, “and when I find a place to live, it’s got weird noises going and I don’t have neighbours.”

Levi gripped his mug. “You have me now.”

“But you think I’m annoying.”

“I already told you I don’t,” Levi said, his voice raising a note. He frowned at his tea, “It’s something else.”

Erwin didn’t ask what. “Then I’m just terrible company,” he said, and Levi was shocked to see his eyes fill with tears even though he was smiling, “I’m tired, Levi. I’m expendable. They could find another columnist or ghostwriter easily,” the tears slid down his cheeks. His blue eyes looked like they were melting. Like a small ocean overflowing.

Levi didn’t like the way he said ‘I’m tired’ but he was awful at comforting people. “Don’t you have friends?”

“I do, but they work far away, and I don’t want to bother them either,” Erwin said, voice choked, and his hands shaking as he finished his coffee, “it’s like that when you pass 25.”

Levi got the mug from his hands and wiped the bottom on his own pants before putting it on the coffee table. “I feel that. I’m also past 25,” he said quietly and looked at Erwin, who was trying to wipe his face. Levi saw then, first-hand, that the people who look the happiest are often the saddest. He wanted to change the subject, “Can you tell me what your novel is about?”

Erwin sniffled and then smiled again. “I’m scared you’ll run away and think it’s gross.”

Levi’s heart skipped a beat. “Try me.”

Erwin sighed and rubbed his red, puffy eyes with the tips of his fingers. “It’s about queer people.”

Levi opened his mouth and lowered his voice. “Oh, that’s interesting. Why did you choose to write about that?”

“Because I’m gay,” Erwin said directly, and Levi felt his heart sink when he heard the tone. He didn’t care anymore. That was self-harm. Erwin thought Levi was cis, and that was the confirmation. He was so overwhelmed with that that he forgot to tell him that he was gay, too.

“Queer stories written by queer people are probably the best,” Levi said casually, putting his mug next to Erwin’s after wiping the bottom, “I mean… I don’t know shit about literature, I don’t read a lot, but I figure that writing about what you know makes the story feel, you know, more relatable for the people who read it and, like,” he gestured with his hands, not knowing what words to use. 

It made Erwin smile. He looked relieved, and that was a genuine smile, despite his puffy eyes. “People who see themselves in the characters will relate to them because they’re realistic,” he said, “I talked to people on forums and things like that, as a sort of research with real people to be able to write about experiences I can’t know anything about. Like being a lesbian or being bisexual.”

“Makes sense,” Levi said and nodded, “that’s a good strategy,” he added, “and is it like, a love story?”

Erwin’s sigh was worth a thousand and answered the question before he did. “I want it to be, but the main character is based on me and I’m… I don’t think I can imagine anyone falling in love with me,” he said and chortled. Levi was seeing Erwin for the first time that evening. He thought he was just a quirky, friendly man who baked biscuits and liked to talk about the weather and plants, which he had plenty in his flat, but he was a mentally drained man with no self-esteem. And that night, Levi wanted anything but to leave him alone. He wasn’t a heartless bastard and he felt inexplicably drawn to him.

“I’ll cook dinner for us,” Levi offered, and Erwin blinked at the sudden suggestion, “I’m a good cook and you’re hurt. Don’t argue with me,” Levi said picking up the mugs and seeing Erwin open his mouth, “I’m a lot more stubborn than you think.”

“You don’t have to, Levi,” Erwin argued anyway, “I can order take-out. I feel like I’m upsetting you with this pity party.”

“Don’t call it a pity party, idiot,” Levi snapped, not bothering to lower his voice, “don’t do that. It’s your mental health. The only reason I haven’t lost my mind yet, is that I get to yell at customers sometimes and I also play online games,” he said and a smile curled the corners of his lips, and he saw Erwin’s surprised look, “can’t tell what’s shocking you. If me yelling at children on the internet or me smiling.”

Erwin chortled. “Both I guess… but mostly your smile. It's a nice smile.”

Levi chuckled softly. He cooked some steaks and some rice and made a bit of salad to go with it, and they ate together. Erwin had a high pain tolerance, but Levi wasn’t stupid. The guy had fractured his ankle and hadn’t taken any painkillers yet. They’d prescribed him some strong stuff, too. The pain had to be unpleasant, to say the least.

“Take your painkillers,” Levi said and got them from the paper bag he’d stuffed in the groceries bag, “doesn’t that shit hurt?”

“It does. I just forgot,” Erwin said, and Levi clicked his tongue popping the pills for him, “thanks.”

“Let me get water,” Levi scolded seeing that the absolute nutjob was going to swallow them dry, “now tell me how the hell you managed to fracture your ankle.”

“It’s a silly story. You’ll think I’m a dumbass.”

“I already do.”

Erwin chortled. “Okay, then I guess I can tell you. I tripped on the edge of the pavement and fell into a bush. I don’t remember much since I fainted before I tripped, but my foot twisted in an awkward angle, and since I wasn’t awake it made it worse.”

Levi clicked his tongue and looked at him. It was past 11 pm by then and he only noticed because Erwin had a digital clock on the wall with bright yellow numbers. 

They started hearing them then. 

The noises. 

Someone’s gurgling laugh and wheezy swears. It sounded louder that night, guttural noises and the sound of screaming that seemed to come from a different time.

“Fuck this shit, I’m gonna check,” Levi said and got up. Erwin got up as well, grabbing his crutch, “don’t be stupid. You stay here.”

“I haven’t been sleeping more than an hour a night for months, Levi, I’m going with you.”

Levi couldn’t convince him not to, so he let him go along. 

“We look like two white people in a horror film, fucking hell,” Levi complained when they were cautiously walking down the yellowish corridor. It fell oddly silent when they got out of Erwin’s flat. 

The sconces’ light, usually still, flickered.

“Maybe it really was just the wind,” Erwin said, and the hint of sarcasm didn’t escape Levi’s ears.

The bloodcurdling scream they heard as soon as he said that, but it was nothing compared with the sight of it.

A blood-covered being that looked like a man and was gushing blood from a slit on his throat that didn’t stain the floor. The ghastly creature had no eyes. Or feet. Or hands. They looked like they’d be severed with an axe.

And then it grinned a red grin covered in blood that slid down the sides of its mouth before it opened that mouth so far it became a gaping black hole of teeth and it screaming and then laughed before the lights in the hallway all went off.

Levi shoved his hand in his pocket, horrified, and found his flat’s keys and gripped them.

“Let’s fucking get the hell out of here!” Levi exclaimed.

“Maybe he’s just alone…”

“THAT THING ISN'T HUMAN, ERWIN. DON’T BE STUPID.”

“Levi I can’t run. If it wants to kill me, it will.”

Hearing that made Levi feel overwhelmed with anger and worry, and it pushed the fear back. He crouched and held Erwin by the waist, pulling him up and flinging him over his shoulder and holding him tightly, hearing him gasp before he started running just as the lights came back on. The blood-covered creature gurgled in agony and flew towards them. Levi gripped Erwin’s waist and unlocked his flat before bursting in and slamming the door behind him, locking the door as soon as he put Erwin on the floor. Levi’s panic made him think of salt and crosses. He grabbed a marker from his office and drew a cross on the door and then got a pack of salt from the kitchen and dumped it in front of the door.

The noise stopped. Erwin leant against the wall and looked at Levi, who was still holding the empty bag of salt and breathing heavily.

They needed a moment to recover.

“Talking with a fucking demonic thing?” Levi said, gripping the plastic bag, “You suicidal idiot. I won’t let you die, do you hear me?”

Erwin was silent, looking like he was having an out of body experience.

“And you were right. It wasn’t just the fucking wind,” Levi said, but Erwin was still staring at him in silence, “it’s okay, now. We’ll call a damn priest if we have to. Exorcist style”

“That’s not what I’m thinking about,” Erwin said at last, voice hoarse and low, “I’m thinking that I don’t have anything to lose.”

“I told you not to say shit like that.”

“No, what I mean is that I’m going to gamble,” Erwin said with a small shrug, “you know I’m gay, and the thing is that I’ve found you attractive since I saw you for the first time. I don’t know if this demon will win or if we’ll win," he said and Levi stared, confused, "I’m into pain, and I like being sexually tortured and topped.”

Levi looked at him like he was crazy, unsure if he’d heard him right, feeling warm all over.

“Tortured?”

“I like to feel pain in my cock and balls for one.”

“That explains why you weren’t complaining about your foot,” Levi said, ruffling his own hair and then he looked at Erwin, “I thought you knew when we met, but then realised you didn’t,” he decided to be honest as well. He had to be, “I’m trans, Erwin. I don’t have a cock or balls. I’m not even on testosterone yet and haven’t had top surgery.”

Erwin looked at him confused but then hummed. “That’s why the landlord said that… I was confused when I saw you,” Erwin said and smiled, “but I didn’t hear a no.”

“What?”

“I didn’t hear you say you didn’t want to fuck me.”

“You said you’re gay.”

“Which means I like men,” Erwin said with a small smile, “and you’d make me very happy if you had a strap.”

The kiss Levi pulled Erwin into was deep and filled with gratitude and yearning. He felt a metaphorical spark when their lips connected. He picked Erwin up and heard him chuckle when he carried him to his bedroom and put him on his bed. He crawled onto him and kissed his lips again. Erwin left his hands on the pillow and kissed him back, wanton, and horny. Levi could feel his growing boner, and it made him feel hornier. It was the first time he fucked another gay man. And the first time he didn’t have to tie his partner up to stop him from touching him where he shouldn’t.

Levi unbuttoned Erwin’s pyjamas top and helped him out of it. He looked so beautiful in the dim light of his bedroom. “Is there any place in your body you don’t want me to touch?” he asked. Erwin shook his head and smiled, his face completely red.

“No, all yours. Touch me wherever you want. But that’s the question I should be asking.”

Levi’s heart raced when he heard that. He kissed Erwin deep and hard on the mouth again. “My waist and chest. Don’t touch them. Also thighs, kind of,” he said getting off him to get his big purple strap from his dresser along with a bottle of lube, “but you won’t be having access to them tonight.”

Levi didn’t go straight for the fucking. Erwin had said he wanted to have his cock and balls abused after all. Levi was a bit of a sadist and had never tried that but knew a thing or two about it. He helped Erwin out of his pants and then pulled off his shirt. He had his binder on.

“I’m not gonna take it off. I don’t feel comfortable showing my chest.”

“That’s okay… I mean, it’s bad, but I get it, I mean… uh, I’m useless,” Erwin said, breathing heavily, when he was completely naked, anticipating the pain he so craved, “just hit me, make me feel pain.”

“If it’s too much, fucking say so, don’t be stupid.”

Levi was angry at Erwin’s lack of self-esteem. The only reason Levi accepted the cock and ball torture thing was that Erwin wanted it but that big idiot didn’t know what he had planned for him after he hurt him.

Erwin winced and squirmed when Levi kneed his balls from bellow full-force before gripping them along with his hardening cock and gripped them hard. Erwin arched his back and clenched his fists, his face drenched in tears, gritting his teeth, his boner getting harder in Levi’s hand as he gripped it and abused his balls. Erwin screamed and whimpered but didn’t stop him. His cock was dripping with pre-cum, and when Levi saw how red his cock and balls were getting from his tugs and grips, he stopped because Erwin was an idiot and wouldn’t tell him to stop. Erwin breathed, and his body sagged. 

“You’re crazy,” Levi whispered, kissing his lips and wiping his face with the back of his hands, “but lucky that I’m kind of a sadist.”

Erwin smiled into the kiss and didn’t expect the tenderness that followed. Levi kissed his cheeks, and then his neck and then took his sweet time worshipping his chest and nibbling carefully on his sensitive nipples, hearing him moan and feeling his hands on the back of his neck as he slid down and kissed his stomach, peppering it with gentle kisses, caressing his sides and feeling him heave under him.

“You’re beautiful and worthy, Erwin Smith, don’t let anything make you think otherwise,” Levi said when he was at eye level with him seeing his tears and his trembling lip when he smiled, “I’ll get the strap now, careful with your foot.”

“Okay…” Erwin sniffled as Levi got rid of his pants and got the purple dick on before lubing it up and getting his end in with a small grunt before turning around.

“I won’t stretch you out. You’re not a virgin, and this slides in easily,” Levi said, heart racing seeing Erwin’s lustful look eyeing the huge cock. Levi raised his legs and guided the dick into Erwin’s ass. His end was rubbing just what it should, and he moaned, not bothering to hide his voice. Erwin arched his back and moaned loudly opening his arms, and Levi took the chance to hold him, give him a gentle squeeze, kissing the middle of his chest. The sweet moans Erwin let out as Levi moved in and out of him made them forget about everything they’d just survived and focus on nothing but one another. Levi wanted to kiss Erwin’s mouth, but he couldn’t reach it, so he kissed his chest over and over. Levi took one lubed hand to Erwin’s cock and started jerking him off. Erwin’s moans were gorgeous, and Levi felt himself twitch, his sensitive bit rubbing against Erwin’s skin, and he felt Erwin’s legs tremble just before he groaned his name and came in his hand and sagged back, looking like he’d just seen heaven. Levi came as well and took a bit longer for his orgasm to end before he recovered and stopped twitching.

“I think I saw Heaven, just after we both saw Hell,” Erwin said, sprawled naked on Levi’s bed as Levi pulled his dick out of him and took it off before putting his underwear back on after wiping himself up and wiping Erwin down. He kept unscented wipes near his bed for when he jerked off.

“I’m gonna take a piss,” Levi said, leaning over to kiss Erwin’s lips, “and get a bottle of water from the kitchen.”

And he did just that before returning to the bed where Erwin was still naked and waiting for him with a smile that said nothing but pure bliss. Levi smiled back and got his pyjamas and underwear to hand them back and help him back into them. Erwin took the help.

“God, does this always happen to you when you fuck?” Levi said as he helped him into his pants. Erwin’s limbs felt like lead. 

“Not really, I get tired but not like this… I hadn’t been fucked in a long time, though,” Erwin drawled as Levi buttoned his pyjamas’ top for him, “maybe it’s those painkillers. I think they’re taking effect.”

“Ah… right,” Levi said, looking at his foot, “does it hurt?”

“No,” Erwin said laying on his back as Levi put his pyjamas’ on over the binder, “you sleep with the binder on?”

Levi hesitated. “Not usually… don’t take it personally, alright? It’s not something you can understand.”

“I know,” Erwin said when Levi joined him in the bed, “so, I’m sleeping here?”

“Yes, you are. I hope you don’t mind tea in the morning, because I don’t drink coffee,” Levi said, laying beside him and looking at his droopy, smiling eyes.

“I like tea… and I think I should gamble more,” he said, “did you think I was attractive for… uh, did you think I was good-looking long?” he drawled and placed and hand on Levi’s cheek. The tender gesture caught Levi off guard, and he put his hand over Erwin’s, kissing it.

“I did,” he confessed quietly, “I thought you were my type, the moment you started talking to me when we met in the lift, and I was a jerk and didn’t respond, I like the sound of your voice and your random stories… I just didn’t think you could be gay or that you’d…” he trailed off. It hurt. He didn’t want to talk about it.

“Levi… I don’t think anyone has ever treated me as well as you have, and I don’t think I’ve, that the… the dicking down could be so good until tonight,” Erwin said, already half-asleep. Levi smiled a little. It was cute and validating to hear that from a cis gay man who was about to fall asleep. Erwin was fast-asleep when Levi scooted closer to him and put an arm around his neck, and kissed his forehead, before allowing himself to fall asleep as well. There were no more noises that night save for their peaceful breathing.

Chapter Text

“Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone
If your time to you is worth savin'
And you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'”

Bob Dylan, The Times They Are a-Changin' (1963)

Sometimes it takes an encounter with a terrifying, bloodied spirit to bring people together. That’s what happened to Erwin and Levi. That first night they saw what was causing the noise and then unwound by having sex didn’t happen again. Not because they didn’t want to, but because they were wary of messing up. It’d been too good.

They kept doing their jobs. Erwin spent a lot of time In Levi’s flat with his laptop writing his columns, and Levi did his programming but when they had free time, they sat together and investigated what their landlord hadn’t told them. They also sat together with the food Levi cooked watching TV and chatting.

Erwin had a mother somewhere but heard of her every blue moon and had nobody else. Levi was an orphan and had no living relatives that he knew about. He’d had some friends as Erwin did, but time does that thing – it pushes everyone away from you if you’re not careful. And that’s the way it is.

“Why do you do that stuff?” Levi asked on one of those nights at his flat, where he had his computer that couldn’t just be carried around. Erwin was into crochet, and he liked doing crochet animals while they talked. He was good at multitasking.

“It helps me think,” Erwin replied as Levi cooked them dinner, “and they’re cute,” Erwin smiled when Levi returned with trays with their food, “I sell some of them on Etsy, but I mostly gift them.”

That’s how Levi got gifted a cute little leopard that he put in his bedroom. Erwin slept in his bed several times, without anything frisky happening. Just two men sharing a bed because they felt safer together on that cursed windy floor.

And they still had that issue to solve.

Both agreed that the landlord was a crook and had concealed information from them. Levi was the computer whiz, and Erwin worked with newspapers. They both worked to find out what had happened on the 10th floor of that building. Erwin emailed some people he knew, but nobody knew anything about it. It was hard to find information when all you were willing to tell was that you wanted to know more about the place you lived in. 

Erwin’s foot healed, and he started going around and asking the neighbours about it, but nobody knew anything. They just knew the floor was weird and weird noises came from there.

“I don’t know what else to do,” Erwin said to Levi one afternoon when they were sitting together at Levi’s powerful hacker computer, “maybe you can find some information about it.”

Levi had tried, but it seemed like nothing existed on that particular building, aside from when it’d been built, the architect, and the owner, the crooked Mr Jean Kirschstein. Levi resorted to the deep web, where people who were better than him at finding info dwelled. And paid for the service.

Not an hour later he got an email with a bunch of newspaper articles that had been made confidential. There’d been a murder in that building, on their floor, 30 years before. A jealous wife had killed her husband’s lover, who happened to be a man. 

“Meredith Kirschstein,” Erwin read quietly, shocked, “that’s the name of our landlord. Kirschstein.”

Levi was staring at the information in shock. Mr Jean Kirschstein? Queer?

“What if this Marco Bott wants Jean Kirschstein?” Erwin suggested, “He’s never here at night, and that’s when the noise starts and the spirit strikes. Maybe this woman messed with the wrong kind of magic.”

“Is there a right kind of magic to kill someone out of jealousy?” Levi asked, pursing his lips, and leaning back on his chair, “We won’t get the truth out of the crook, and he sure as fuck won’t show up in here at night.”

Erwin leant back on his chair and hummed. “Isn’t it weird that this kind of stuff only happens at night?”

“Do you believe in thoughtform, Erwin?”

Erwin looked at him, and Levi shrugged. “It’s a belief that believing in something will, like, channel that energy into creating that thing, and it’ll become real. And the more people believe in that thing, the more powerful it gets.”

Erwin hummed. “Is this backed by science?”

Levi shrugged and huffed. “Kind of, there are some studies. We can take a look at them.”

It was a pseudo-science, but there were several instances where it seemed like thoughtform was real. People believed hard enough in something and that something became real. But what exactly had that woman wanted when she turned some man into a creature from hell with a mouth that opened all the way to show way more teeth than a human has and bled everywhere without leaving a drop of blood anywhere? 

“Do you think she’s still married to Kirschstein?” Erwin asked, and Levi shrugged, “We could try to find out somehow…”

And that they did. They found out that they were no longer married, and Meredith Hobbs was apparently in a psychiatric ward a bit away from the centre, the loony bin if you will. Erwin took them there in his Volvo. Levi didn’t drive. Erwin was the one to speak. He was better at it. And he lied through his teeth.

“Hello, my name is Edward Hobbs,” he said and if Levi didn’t know he’d have believed it, “my aunt Meredith Hobbs was admitted here many years ago, and my parents are dead,” that was half true, “I’m looking for my living relatives. I would like to know if it’s possible to see her,” he said, and Levi saw the serious tone and the little sad look in his convincing blue eyes. The man behind the counter, whose name was Floch Forster, was wooed by it. Levi felt an odd pang of jealousy when he saw the man blush.

“That was a long time ago. The records aren’t on the computer, I’ll check for you. Hobbs, right?”

“Hobbs,” Erwin confirmed. The man nodded and disappeared into the archive room. Erwin smiled at Levi and saw his slightly annoyed look, “what’s wrong?”

“Are you always that good at wooing people?”

“That wasn’t wooing,” Erwin corrected with a raised eyebrow, “it was persuading.”

“The guy was wooed, though.”

“He’s not my type,” Erwin said simply and chuckled, “feel my heart.”

“What?”

“Feel it,” Erwin said, carefully holding one of Levi’s hands and putting it over the left side of his chest, “what do you feel?”

“Fast heartbeat,” Levi said with pursed lips, and Erwin smiled letting go of his hand.

“I wasn’t nervous about asking for this information,” he said simply, and Levi looked at him, a bit confused, feeling his heart race and suppressing it. 

Floch Forster returned with the file and opened it in front of them and the little unrelated chat was pushed to the back of their minds. “Okay, so it says here that she was schizophrenic, had delusions that she was a witch, and was admitted because she killed a man in a ritual that isn’t mentioned here, just says it had satanic beliefs involved,” the man grimaced and looked at Erwin, “are you okay in the head? Schizophrenia is genetic, you know?”

Levi gave him a look but Erwin put a hand over his and smiled.

“She’s a distant aunt. I’m not schizophrenic, don’t worry,” Erwin said, pretending that wasn't an ignorant comment, “what happened to her, then?”

“I want to say sadly she’s dead, but this is too… I mean, you were related but… this is too messed up.”

Erwin put up a performance worthy of an Oscar. “Oh… so she’s also dead… I guess it was better that way if she had serious mental health issues and killed a person…” he said quietly, looking genuinely sad.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, man.”

Erwin and Levi left the ward soon after and got back in the Volvo. 

“You’re good at lying.”

“I’m a writer, a failed one but a writer nonetheless,” Erwin said with a chuckle starting the car, “making up stories comes naturally.”

“What do we do now, then?”

“We find Satanists and ask what we should do to put that man’s soul to rest.”

“You believe that shit?”

“You were the one who talked about thoughtform, Levi. This woman believed in this, no matter how mentally ill she was, maybe we need to fight fire with fire,” he said firmly, shifting the gear and letting go of the clutch. Levi thought his resolve was hot as was his smooth driving.

They found the closest Satanist Cult place, and it wasn’t at all like Levi had expected. Those looked like normal people. Sure, some had tattoos and piercings and dressed in black, but they were just regular people. Erwin’s diplomacy and charm worked with everyone and everywhere. It was hard to believe that that man had low self-esteem and little sense of self-preservation.

He talked with someone in the intercom, and his smooth tone made them trust him. He said he just wanted to know more about their Cult and their practices and beliefs. He introduced himself as Edward Hobbs again and Levi as Caleb Jameson, his boyfriend. Levi blushed when he said that so casually.

“How do you come up with names so fast?”

“Writing,” Erwin smiled as the door was unlocked.

“And why are we boyfriends?”

“They’re Satanists. They love gays. Maybe we should convert,” Erwin said, smiling. Erwin reached his hand, and Levi held it, a bit awkward, definitely nervous.

The woman who talked to them had piercings on her ears and face and wore a long green dress matched with bright red lipstick. She sat them down in a small yet cosy lounge area.

“You’re not boyfriends,” she said when she sat with them in silence and took a closer look at them, with a little wry smile, “but you’re both gay and love each other.”

Even Erwin blushed with that direct statement. Levi wanted the armchair to swallow him whole. How the fuck had she just made his doubts click together and give him a certainty? It seemed like Erwin was just embarrassed but not surprised. Levi wondered for how long Erwin had been in love with him and wanted to cry. He figured he’d been in love with him from the moment he’d started talking to him on the lift and smiling at him and felt ridiculous for not noticing. Also scared. Erwin was a cis gay man, and he was a trans gay man pre-t and pre-op. That sounded like a non-problem for a cis person, but it wasn’t for a trans one.

“Why don’t you start by telling me your real names?”

Erwin smiled, and Levi wanted to hold his hand. How the hell did she know they were lying about that?

“Names are powerful, you know?” she said with a smile, “And they stick to you the moment they’re given to you.”

Levi looked at her, and she smiled. “Or when you give them to yourself.”

“Erwin Smith and Levi Ackerman,” Erwin said simply, pointing from himself to Levi, deciding that honesty was the only thing that would work there.

“Ymir,” she said and smiled crossing her legs and resting her face on her hand, her elbow on the arm of the armchair, “I assume you were telling the truth about why you’re here.”

“That’s correct,” Erwin said, and she hummed.

“And why do you want that information?”

“We live in a building that’s haunted by what looks like a vengeful spirit,” Erwin said, “and we saw it. It chased us,” he said and paused, “we found some information about what happened and apparently it’s the spirit of the lover of our landlord who was cheating on his schizophrenic wife, who killed that man,” Erwin continued and sighed, “and then she was sent to a loony bin. We went there, they told us about her condition and about the satanic ritual she’s supposed to have performed when she killed this man.”

“Sounds like a thing, doesn’t it?” Ymir said and pressed her lips together, “and I’m assuming the landlord didn’t tell you anything about this when you rented the place.”

“That’s correct.”

“That’s against the law,” Ymir said with a smile, raising her perfectly trimmed thin eyebrows, and Erwin nodded, “but tell me more about this haunting you’re dealing with.”

Erwin told her all about the noise, the screams, the gurgling laughter, the blood that didn’t stain anything and then the time they met him and saw how deformed and abused the appearance was on the 8th of August and Erwin wanted to talk to him, but Levi pulled him away and the spirit chased them. He also told Ymir about their theories about thoughtform.

“This isn’t a vengeful spirit,” Ymir said and sighed, “this is a sad and lost spirit, and this woman tortured his soul before torturing his body and killing him. There’s nothing satanic about that. But your choice of finding us was a good one since she believed in a skewed version of satanism. People like me are the only ones able to stop this.” 

“Fucking hell,” was the first thing Levi said in that meeting. Ymir smiled at him, and he felt self-conscious. She knew for sure that he was trans. He feared that she’d be transphobic.

“Don’t look so worried, Levi,” she said to him, “We welcome everyone in our cult, and you’re a man, that’s your energy. It’s been your energy since you were born,” she said and smiled and then looked at Erwin as Levi breathed, relieved, “neither of you can put this spirit to rest. It must be me, and we need the landlord. You two can be there, this is the spirit of a queer man after all. And he’s a lost, tortured soul, we need to get to his pure soul and release him.”

Ymir was the one to talk to the landlord and threaten him with the law. He was scared because she was very convincing.

“You let your lover die and buried the story, you piece of shit,” she said, pressing his head hard against his desk, “and now he’s haunting the place where he was murdered.”

Mr Kirschstein started blubbering that he never meant for that to happen, and the times were different, but Ymir was ruthless. She didn’t stop threatening him and pressing his head against the desk until he agreed to go there at night and face his past.

She wasn’t exactly an exorcist, but she was a medium and gave Erwin and Levi a necklace with a charm from her cult for protection. They held hands on that corridor, and once Mr Kirschstein showed up there, shaking from head to toe, a freezing gust of wind blew across the narrow space, and all the sconces' light went off. Ymir had a creepy hand object with a candle that didn’t go out. 

“Marco Bott,” her voice boomed through the corridor, “Jean Kirschstein is here.”

They heard footsteps around the dark corner and the same creature that had scared Levi and Erwin that night showed up, still covered in blood, still with no hands, feet, or eyes, bleeding without leaving blood on the floor, still the same red grin. 

Jean Kirschstein dropped to his knees and started crying convulsively. “I didn’t…. I didn’t know she’d done that to him… Marco,” he whimpered, his tears staining the runner rug, “I’m so sorry, I should have… I couldn’t… times were so different. I loved you so much… so much. I wanted to run away with you, she found out.”

“Jean Kirschstein is a crook and an idiot, and you know that Marco Bott,” Ymir said, her face looking spectral in the light of that strange hand that cast no shadows, “but he speaks the truth. He loved you and wanted to leave with you, but Meredith Kirschstein found out.”

As she spoke the horrifying, disfigured spectre began to gain a human form. His feet and hands grew back first. The slit on his throat closed, and finally, two gentle eyes emerged from his empty eye sockets, and he looked like a man again. He cried. And his tears fell on the runner rug and stained it.

“Who are these boys?” Marco Bott spoke, with a windy, yet human voice.

“They’re lovers,” Ymir said, “or will be,” she smiled at the ghost, “times are different now, Marco Bott. I’m a lesbian, and I have a wife. There is still prejudice, and hate, and violence, but love is slowly winning.”

Marco Bott smiled and cried looking at Erwin and Levi, who were clasping each other’s hands. “I’m happy.”

Jean Kirschstein crawled to where Marco Bott’s feet were and tried to grab them but there was nothing but an afterimage. Marco Bott crouched before him and looked him in the eyes. The non-involved parties were silent, seeing Marco Bott put a ghostly hand on Jean Kirschstein’s face and making him cry harder.

“I’m sorry, Marco, I’m so sorry, I really am an idiot. I should have hidden you better,” he blubbered. Marco smiled and reached his ghostly lips to Jean Kirschstein’s, leaving the ghost of a kiss on them.

“I forgive you, Jean. You were scared, and you were always a coward,” he said and smiled and stood up. Jean Kirschstein opened his mouth, but no sound came out. Ymir, the Satanist, and Levi and Erwin looked on seeing the ghost of a man smile, “thank you for freeing me from this prison,” he said and looked at Jean Kirschstein whose eyes were fixed on him, “goodbye, Jean. Thank you for loving me as I loved you.”

The light that erupted from the ceiling wasn’t pure white. It was pure blue, and in it, the ghost of Marco Bott, a victim of a jealous, mentally ill wife, and the stupidity of a cheating husband vanished with a smile. 

“NO! NO! MARCO, DON’T GO! DON’T GO!” Jean Kirschstein yelled after him, patting the place where the ghost vanished, hopelessly, crying, “Please… I still love you...”

The lights in the hallway went back on, and the candle on the odd hand went out.

“He’s gone,” Ymir said looking at Erwin and Levi, “you can keep the charms. They’ll protect you if you believe it,” she said and smiled before walking over to the crying old man leaving the two young men dumbfounded and shook by what they’d just witnessed. 

“Get up now, Jean. He knows you loved him, and he’s in peace now,” she said and patted his back before holding him by the armpits and easily bringing him to his feet, “you can have a memorial in the flat he lived in. Come on now, here’s a good chap,” she said and hugged him, patting his head, “now go home and rest. Maybe invest some of your money on helping queer youth in need. There’s still a lot of work to do, you know?” she said and then looked at Levi and Erwin, “And you’re free of this now, lads. Maybe confessing your love for each other is the thing you need to do now. I’m taking this old idiot home,” she said, “and the cult of Satan is always open for you,” she said and winked, and Erwin cracked a smile and nodded.

She disappeared down the stairs, holding the very shaken, bisexual man upright.

Levi and Erwin went to Levi’s flat where they’d practically been living together for several months as they solved that mystery and stood in front of each other by the door.

“She’s right,” Erwin said, “I love you, Levi. And it’s not a new feeling. I’ve loved you for months but…”

“But you’re a fool and don’t think you deserve love even though you’re the kindest, most considerate, and smartest man I’ve ever met,” Levi said, cutting him off, “I love you too, you fucking idiot. My issue is just,” he paused and sniffed, holding his chest and closing his eyes, “my damn body,” he said at last, “I will get top surgery and start T as soon as possible, but I won’t get bottom surgery and you’re gay.”

“And like I said the first time we had sex, that means I like men, and you’re a man. Sure there’s the whole hormone smell thing but…” Erwin paused and leant against the wall of Levi’s hallway, “love isn’t about a body,” he said. Levi felt his eyes sting. “I know your dysphoria is bad, and when you get your top surgery and the testosterone shots, I’ll be here with you,” he said and smiled, his blue eyes welling up, “because I love you and I’m willing to do anything for you, Levi,” he said and held Levi’s wet cheeks, “even start believing that I deserve your love.... because you're kind, strong, have an iron will, and you... you make me feel like I matter.”

Levi threw himself against Erwin’s chest and held him tightly, crying, and overwhelmed, not believing he’d found a man like Erwin. And he wanted to show him just how deep his love was, how deeply he trusted him, how much he valued him. He pulled his face down for a kiss, and they kissed deeply and sloppily into Levi’s bedroom. He lit his bedside table lamp and grabbed a pair of boxers from the drawer and threw it over it to dim the light even further. They could still see each other.

“I won’t top you this time, unless you want me to and don’t like topping at all,” Levi said when he was on top of him kissing him, his heart racing, the anxiety taking over, “I’m bad with words, Erwin,” he started breathed heavily, straddling his thighs.

“I like topping, Levi,” Erwin assured him, sitting up and holding his cheeks, “but if you don’t want that because of your dysphoria, don’t force it. You’ve already shown me that you trust me and love me.”

“No,” Levi said, stubborn, angry, with tears in his eyes, “I’m getting top surgery before I start T and I want you to see all of me. You’re the only person in this world aside from the damn doctors who will see how I was,” he said, on the verge of hyperventilation, “I can’t let some people I don’t even know see all of me and not let,” he paused to breathe and let Erwin soother him with his gentle hands, “not let the man I love see that.”

Erwin was tearing up as well and kissed him deeply, which helped Levi calm down a bit. 

Levi pulled off his sweater and his undershirt and then breathed heavily before unhooking his black binder with slightly shaking fingers. It came off easily because it was his size and provided the comfort and compression his chest needed. He looked to the side after pulling it off his head and dropping it beside the bed, gripping the bed sheets and fighting the urge to cover himself. 

Erwin looked at his chest and didn’t touch it. “Can you lay down, please?” Erwin asked gently.

Levi nodded and did just that. His chest became practically flat as soon as he did it, and he was still covering his eyes, fighting his tears. “You figured it out, didn’t you?” he said quietly, a bit strained, “When I lie down, it’s almost not there. I do it all the time, but it doesn’t help. I still want this shit gone,” he said, and punched the mattress with his free fist, “but you can touch it. If anyone can touch this before I get rid of it, it’s you. I’ll feel almost nothing on my damn nipples after I fucking get this shit out of my body. I want to know what it feels like.”

Erwin was hesitant, and Levi knew why. He respected him, and he knew that was a triggering thing. And for someone with dysphoria that bad, it was a big deal. Levi tensed when he felt Erwin’s hands on his chest, over his nipples, softly touching and caressing the tissue and grazing his palms against his nipples. Levi gasped a little and uncovered his eyes to look at him. Erwin pulled his hands away, looking at his eyes.

“Is that enough?” Erwin said softly, and Levi nodded as Erwin pulled off his sweater and undershirt and smiled despite his wet eyes, exposing his voluptuous chest “Mine are bigger.”

Levi didn’t expect that silly comment and snorted. “They are,” he said softly and reached his hands to touch Erwin’s chest and gently rub his nipples seeing his face turn red and smiling, “and so sensitive… you're one of kind, Erwin,” he sniffled and breathed, “I want to be on top, but I want to blindfold you, not in a kinky way,” Levi said holding Erwin’s sides.

“I understand,” Erwin said and leaned over to kiss his lips, “blindfold me… it can be kinky as well,” he said in his ear, his breath grazing against the sensitive skin of Levi’s neck and making him shiver.

“We’ll need a condom and some lube,” Levi said, “I’m horny but I’m also fucking anxious about this so shit may be dry down there and I want my first bottoming experience to be good.”

“You’ve never bottomed?” Erwin asked, laying on his back, as Levi got the condom, the lube, and a bandanna from his drawer and put them beside the pillow when he swapped their positions.

“No,” Levi confirmed, “I’ve used dildos, though, so it won’t hurt if it’s done right,” he said as he carefully blindfolded Erwin, who smiled, “you kinky bastard.”

“I think I have a new kink, sensory deprivation,” Erwin said and grinned, his face beet red and the flush running down his neck to his collarbones. Levi rubbed his crotch against Erwin’s and felt his growing boner.

“I won’t hurt you this time,” Levi said, and Erwin made a fake disappointed noise that earned him a slap in his still clothed ass and made him laugh, “there. I’m kind of a sadist, but I love you. I won’t hurt you a lot all the damn time because you deserve to be worshipped, not punished," he stated, "If the world abandoned you, I won’t.”

Erwin’s lower lip trembled, and he smiled when Levi kissed his lips, nibbling his lower lip before slipping him tongue and making it a bit messier. He kissed his cheek and then spent some time on his neck when he realised it was sensitive. He pressed his lips on his pulsing jugular and indulged his kinks. “I could bite this and kill you instantly.”

Worked like a charm. He felt Erwin’s boner get harder. 

“But I want to kiss it, maybe a bit of a bruise, just because you’re a freak,” Levi teased and Erwin chuckled a bit winded as Levi left a kiss mark over his jugular before nibbling on his collarbones and spending his sweet time on his chest, that was definitely bigger than his. Erwin’s moans were lewd and unabashed. 

“You’re a bit slutty, aren’t you?”

“You have no idea,” Erwin said with a cute toothy grin, his eyes covered with the red bandanna, “and this makes it sounds like I’m,” he gasped when Levi nibbled his nipple, “that feels so good, oh God… this makes it sound like I’m fucking guys left and right but I’m not, I’m just kinky and not ashamed of it.”

Levi liked to hear that. Honest communication. The coherent words vanished as soon as Levi unbuckled Erwin’s jeans and pulled them off along with his underwear. Before pulling off his jeans and underwear. He hesitated a bit before sitting on Erwin’s leg with nothing covering his crotch but did it anyway and saw Erwin’s cock twitch at the feeling. It relaxed him as he kissed Erwin's ribs and he slid down to kiss his soft stomach and his happy trail before caressing his balls and making him moan even more when he held his throbbing cock and licked it from the base to the tip, where he spent the most time, tasting the slightly salty, a bit sweet pre-cum. Erwin gripped the bedsheets and whimpered, arching his back when Levi took his cock in his mouth and started blowing him, tantalising, slow, and then felt Erwin groan and his legs tense up and stopped, rubbing it a bit to get rid of the saliva.

“Feeling good?”

“Amazing, Levi,” Erwin breathed and sighed as Levi ripped the condom’s package and unrolled it on Erwin’s dick. He popped the lube bottle open and rubbed some of it on the covered cock, making Erwin moan and squirm a bit more.

“Have you ever… have you ever felt something like what I have?”

“No,” Erwin confessed, “but it shouldn’t be too different from what I have felt,” Erwin said, voice low and hoarse with lust.

Levi knelt on top of Erwin and carefully slid his cock into him. Erwin gasped, and his legs closed.

“So warm,” he managed to say, gripping the bedsheets, “it feels so good, oh my God.”

Levi was relieved to hear that and couldn’t avoid a couple of tears and a smile that Erwin didn’t see because of the blindfold. He steadied himself on Erwin’s stomach, not sure what he was doing, but he’d seen it in porn, and it wasn’t too difficult. His pace was a bit awkward, but the feeling of a warm cock inside him was something he didn’t expect to feel so amazing. Erwin’s cock curved a little and touched his spot. Levi moaned a little lower than Erwin, but he moaned and felt his whole body warm up.

“Levi… can I touch you there? I know it’ll feel better,” Erwin said between moans, his chest heaving. 

Levi was moving slowly on his cock, and the suggestion was godsent. “You can,” he said. 

Erwin had clearly never done that before, but his fingers were gentle when he touched him in his sensitive part that'd hopefully grow when he started T and rubbed it carefully. Levi moaned louder and clenched his legs. Everything was being stimulated at the same time. He felt Erwin close, and he was close too.

He came first, calling Erwin’s name and clenched around his cock. Erwin gasped and moaned his name and came hard into the condom. Levi felt himself come more than once and needed a bit to recover from it. Erwin was panting and on cloud nine, smiling but tired. Levi got up and hummed at the feeling of the softening cock sliding out of him. He recovered faster than Erwin and carefully pulled the condom off his cock and tied it before getting up. Levi got some clothes on.

"You take the blindfold off," Levi said and Erwin did and smiled at him.

“Where are you going?”

“Bin the condom, take a piss, get some water.”

“Oh right,” Erwin said and stayed there as Levi passed him his wipes so that he could clean up a bit. 

Levi cleaned up a bit as well and that night, he didn’t put on the binder. Erwin only noticed when he’d chugged some water and got some pyjamas on, and they cuddled. Levi buried his face on Erwin’s chest.

“No binder,” Levi mumbled.

“That’s good for your health,” Erwin said and kissed his forehead in the dark, “no binder either,” he joked, and Levi snorted rubbing his face on Erwin’s chest.

“Idiot,” he said fondly, “I love you, Erwin, thank you for being you,” he muttered.

“I love you, too,” Erwin whispered back in the dark, ”thank you for loving me.”

They didn’t take long to fall asleep in the embrace of their love and the uncursed floor.

Levi got his top surgery the following week. The surgery was a success, and the nipple grafts looked fantastic. So much so that when he’d recovered from the surgery, and his scarring was minimal, the doctor asked if it was okay to take a pic to put in his successful surgery book. Levi was a bit annoyed but relented because nobody would know it was him anyway. Then he started T.

More people moved to their floor in the following months, and they moved into the same flat, Levi’s, the one facing the sunrise. Their rent stayed low as a silent thank you from their idiot landlord.

As soon as Levi recovered from his surgery, he and Erwin joined a gym and worked on getting the health their lifestyle made them lose. Levi was ripped, absolutely shredded in a little over three months and Erwin bulked up quite a bit as well.

And Erwin could at last finish his queer novel with the disclaimer that it was a work of fiction and added a bit of a thriller element to it. His main character finally had a boyfriend. A trans man called Chad S. Häyhä. Life was finally looking up for them, and there was no but. Sometimes things just go well.