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Yokohama was usually a peaceful city. Well, it was peaceful often enough. As a result of the Tripartite Framework, members of the Special Division of Supernatural Powers, the Port Mafia and the Armed Detective Agency worked hard to maintain the peace in the city.
The Framework was well known in Yokohama's Underworld. The government's Ability Users Division ruled the day, the Port Mafia led by Mori Ougai ruled the Night, and twilight was ruled by the Armed Detective Agency, led by Fukuzawa Yukichi.
The point is, the members of the Armed Detective Agency worked hard to protect the peace of the city. So, it was kind of ironic that the Agency offices were always overridden by absolute chaos. The reason of the chaotic atmosphere was Dazai Osamu, more often than not. The man was an absolute genius, but he was also really, really idiotic and his co-workers were so done with his bullshit most of the time.
Dazai was very well known for slacking off during work hours. Like, the man never did any paperwork and he showed up to work in the afternoon, when half of the work day had already gone by. He also didn't show up to work at all, most days, and his co-worker Kunikida couldn't recall a single time he had applied for leave, instead of just not showing up.
That's precisely why Kunikida was ready to have a heart attack when Dazai sidled up to his desk one fine morning and deposited a bunch of papers on it. He had an annoying, smug look on his face, as if he was expecting to be praised and rewarded for bringing a few papers to his co-worker. The papers were probably not important anyway.
Kunikida raised his eyebrows at the the other detective, "What, you've finally done some of your paperwork for once?"
Dazai waved his hands in denial, "Of course not, Kunikida-kun!"
Yosano-sensei, who was happening to walk past them at that instant, stopped to chat as well. She laughed, "Kunikida-kun, you know better than to assume that Dazai here has done actual work. That'd quite be the end of the world, don't you think?"
Dazai said cheerfully, "Yosano-sensei is absolutely right, of course! And being a good, law-abiding citizen that I am, I wouldn't want to end the world now! Hence, it's best for me to not do any paperwork."
Kunikida muttered under his breath, "That is the stupidest reasoning I've ever heard."
The bandaged man gasped dramatically, "Kunikida-kun! Don't you know I am a genius? There's no way my logic can be flawed!"
Before the argument could progress any further, Yosano interrupted, "Anyway. Kunikida-kun, shouldn't you be asking him what the papers are?"
The blonde man gave her a nod of acknowledgement before turning to the man who'd brought said papers, "Right, yes. What are these papers?"
Dazai clasped his hands together in response, "Leave application! I need the next week off, you see."
For twenty whole seconds, there was utter silence. Neither of the idealist nor the doctor could comprehend the words spoken by their co-worker. Leave application? Since when does Dazai apply for leave? That just might be more surreal than the world ending right now.
Then finally, Ranpo, who had been overhearing the conversation, walked over to Kunikida's desk, "Dazai's applying for leave? Oh, is this about what I think it is?"
Dazai gave the detective a smile, his eyes twinkling, "Probably, yeah."
The fact that Ranpo might know what's going on was enough to induce Kunikida and Yosano into chorusing loudly, "What?!"
And in turn, they were loud enough to attract the attention of everyone else in the office. Soon enough, all the Agency members were crowding around Kunikida's desk. Atsushi asked hesitantly, "Um, what's going on?"
Kyouka, who had figured out what was going on, responded softly, "I think Dazai-san just turned in his leave application papers."
Before Atsushi could say anything, Kenji exclaimed loudly, happening to overhear them, "Oh! Dazai-san, are you going to visit a village?"
If the former Mafia executive was surprised by the question, he didn't show it. He merely replied with a grin, "Not exactly. I'm going to Tokyo."
Kunikida blinked, "You want to go to Tokyo for a week?"
Dazai corrected him, "I am going to Tokyo for a week. Everything has already been planned. The hotel room has been booked too, and I can't get a refund on it."
Atsushi asked carefully, "Oh, do you have any business there then, Dazai-san?"
The taller man hummed in response, "I suppose you could say that."
Nobody really knew what to say after that. They didn't move away though. The Agency members just collectively stood there and gaped in silence as Kunikida stamped Dazai's leave application paperwork with approval. Atsushi managed to get a look at his mentor's face during the process. He was quite surprised by the expression on his face. Dazai was smilingly at his paperwork fondly, and oh my god, he almost looked excited. Atsushi couldn't remember of a time his mentor had genuinely looked excited about something.
Kunikida was done approving the leave application soon enough, and before anybody could say anything, President Fukuzawa walked into the room, Naomi and Haruno right behind him. Nobody noticed their arrival, considering everyone was still looking at Dazai and the whole business about his leave application.
President Fukuzawa cleared his throat, which finally got everyone's attention. Kunikida stood up at once, "President! Good morning, sir."
The grey haired man nodded in greeting before beckoning at the group assembled near Kunikida's desk, "Good morning. What's going on here?"
Ranpo took the courtesy of responding to him, "Oh, nothing much. Dazai here applied for leave so everybody is curious."
The President merely raised his eyebrows in surprise, but other than that, he ignored the topic completely. He then announced, "Right, I had an announcement. The Port Mafia has requested for a joint mission. I don't know the details of the mission, but it's a request for Dazai-kun. The Mafia member is going to be here soon."
Dazai's eyes lit up even further almost immediately. Mafia member, huh? He had a pretty good idea about who it might be. Apparently, Ranpo knew as well, because he just smirked at Dazai before turning and doing the same to the rest of the members. They were probably confused, but they knew better than to ask Ranpo for answers. The genius never gave away anything, anyway.
After the President and the office clerks left the room, Atsushi wondered aloud, "Mafia member? I wonder who it's going to be?"
Yosano hummed, "Maybe that blonde woman who asked for our help disguised as a civilian when Atsushi-kun first joined the Agency."
Dazai tilted his head, "Higuchi-kun? It won't be her."
Atsushi wondered how he was so sure, but then he figured it was probably a mafia thing. Maybe the blonde woman wasn't qualified enough for important joint missions. But looking at Dazai's stance and expression, Atsushi had a feeling that Dazai knew who exactly it was going to be.
Sure enough, ten minutes later, when everybody had gone back to their seats, Dazai suddenly stood up. He beamed when everybody looked at him questioningly, "He's here!"
Kunikida raised his eyebrows, "The Mafia member for the mission?"
Dazai clapped his hands, "Who else!"
Thirty seconds later, the door to the Agency office opened and a short red-haired man walked in, his coat flowing behind him, and his hat perched perfectly on top of his head. Nobody was surprised to see Nakahara Chuuya walk in, per se, but most of the members regarded him with wary eyes. It was fair enough, considering he was known to be the most powerful man in Yokohama. Most people didn't even know the extent of his ability. If he wanted, he could totally demolish Yokohama in one night. The people of the city were truly lucky that Chuuya was in love with their city.
Of course, Dazai and Kenji were the only ones who appeared to be excited to see the Mafia executive. The former went ahead and draped his arms around the newcomer, "Chuuya~ You're finally here!"
Chuuya rolled his eyes, "Get off me, asshole. We have a mission to get to."
Kenji made his way to the gravity manipulator, "Good morning, Nakahara-san! Are you having a good day?"
Chuuya fondly grinned at the younger boy, "Hello! I was having a good day until Boss decided to send me on a joint mission with shitty Dazai, yeah."
Kenji clapped his hands, his eyes sparkling, "Oh, well don't worry! Dazai-san is on leave for a week from tomorrow! Then you'll get rid of him!"
Kunikida coughed, "Kenji-kun, I don't think Nakahara-san wants to know that."
Chuuya waved his hands, "I knew that already, but thank you, Kenji-kun."
Ranpo spoke up, his expression smug, "Oi, Mr. Fancy Hat. You already knew about Dazai being on leave, you say? Shouldn't you be excited then? You can finally rest knowing that Dazai is going to be miles away from you."
Atsushi had given up on trying to understand the Agency members by now. It was common knowledge that Dazai and Chuuya used to be partners in the Mafia, but surely that doesn't explain why Dazai-san was sure that Chuuya would be the one on the joint mission? And since when is Ranpo on such casual terms with the Executive? It makes sense, Atsushi supposed. Ranpo-san wasn't ever scared of anything, anyway. Kenji was also apparently a huge fan of the gravity manipulator. Atsushi couldn't help but be wary of Chuuya, but Kenji seemed perfectly at ease with him. It was at least a little bit weird.
Chuuya rolled his eyes in response to the Agency's resident genius detective, "I wish that was the case. But I'm on leave from tomorrow as well. I'm going to Tokyo."
Heads snapped up faster than Kyouka finishing ten crepes. Wait, Chuuya was going to Tokyo too?! But didn't Dazai just say he was going to Tokyo for a week as well? Was this merely a coincidence? It can't possibly be a mere coincidence; Double Black going to Tokyo on the same day and for a week.
The question was evident on every Agency member's face. Dazai, being the shitty mackerel bastard he was (as Chuuya would say), took the liberty of answering the unspoken question, "Uwah~ Chibi is a liar! Chibi was the one who wanted to go to Tokyo."
Chuuya didn't even try to deny it. He merely glared at Dazai, "Yeah, because there's a wine exhibition there this week! A wine exhibition, shitty Dazai! They'll have the fanciest wines from across the world and you bet I'm buying all of them."
Dazai tsked, "You spend too much money on wine. You should buy me something instead, Chuuya~"
Chuuya scoffed, "Asshole, you use everything of mine anyway. I can't believe I'm still letting you stay at my penthouse after you used all of my Dior body wash!"
Dazai pouted, "Our penthouse!!"
"Ugh, whatever. My point is, there is a wine exhibition and we obviously have to go."
Dazai nodded as he rested his arms against Chuuya's shoulders, "Yeah, yeah. We are going, aren't we?"
Chuuya moved the other's arms a bit so the two of them were more comfortable, "Yeah. I need a fucking vacation after dealing with you every day."
The bandaged man's eyes twinkled, "But you're taking me on said vacation too?"
The mafia executive rolled his eyes for the hundredth time that day, "Because you'll probably burn our house down if I leave you alone! I most definitely do not want you to tag along on my well deserved vacation, damn it!"
(He was totally lying. He most definitely did want Dazai to be on vacation with him. In fact, he'd pestered Dazai into going to Tokyo for a vacation until the younger of them had given in.)
It was Kunikida's concerned voice which got Double Black out of their own little world, "Um, the two of you are going to vacation together?"
Kenji followed up with a question too, "And do you two live in a penthouse together, Nakahara-san??"
Dazai responded to both their questions, "Yes and yes."
This time Atsushi couldn't help but speak his mind too, "Um... But why? Are you two trying to get along better for the sake of our alliance?"
Chuuya snorted, "Yeah, as if. I'm unfortunately married to this shitty bastard."
Everyone just stared for a minute before the whole office erupted into pure chaos. Kunikida broke his pen, Kenji was way too excited, Ranpo just munched on his snacks because he'd known about their marriage all along, Yosano wanted to know more about the wine exhibition, and Kyouka was busy confirming this new piece of information on a phone call with Kouyou.
And of course, everybody had questions. Before Chuuya could even begin to answer any of his co-workers' questions, Dazai pulled his husband out of the office after cheerily waving at everyone else, "Oh, look at the time! We'll be late for our mission! See you guys later!"
Once they had made it out of the Agency building, Chuuya scoffed at his partner, "You are such a shitty bastard, you know that?"
Dazai grinned as he slung an arm around the other's shoulders, "Well, of course!"
Chuuya groaned, "There is no joint mission is there? You just wanted to cause chaos in the agency so you could take the day off."
Dazai beamed as he bopped Chuuya on the nose, "Chibi knows me so well!"
The older man sighed as he pulled the younger one along, "Let's just go home, shitty Dazai."