Chapter Text
Chapter 1: September 1st 1971
“Lily!! Lily, where are you?” Lily’s mum shouted from down the hallway steadily rushing to Lily's room. “Ah, Lily there you are. Are you all packed?” Lily nods her head and turns away from her mum not wanting to hear the regular lecture about how jeans are not flattering on her body shape.
“Excellent, your dad will grab the trunk so let's head…… hold it, turn around,” Lily did as she was told, “You cannot seriously think I’d let you leave the house looking like that did you? Put on that loose sundress with the puffy sleeves and florals. The knee length one and don’t leave this bedroom till you do. I don't care if you miss the train to this wizarding school. I’ll not have you embarrassing me before you even get there.”
Lily flushed red but doesn’t argue. She didn’t really think it’d last long besides Sev has already told her she’ll have to change on the train ride anyway. She can’t wait to be out of here, of course she’ll miss her family but at least she won’t have to deal with being forced into someone she’s not. She finds the dress her mum wants her to wear and changes it just in time for Petunia to walk in.
“Wow, you’re wearing that? Not even the other freaks at your freak school are going to want to spend time with you looking like that” She scoffs and walks toward the living room. She grabbed her shoes and bookbag to chase after her.
“Pet, why would you say that? I know you don’t really like Sev but that doesn't mean everyone at this school will be like him,” Lily stumbles to follow her sister but Pet is ignoring her. Lily sighs and sits to put on her shoes as her sister heads to the car where her mum presumably already is.
“Lily hun, where's your trunk I’ll take it out to the car,” Her dad says walking in from the kitchen. He stops and gives her a once over. “My word Lils you look lovely, didn’t put that on for Severus I hope.” He jokes while laughing.
Lily blushes “Dad! Absolutely not. And my trunk is still in my room.” He just nods still chuckling and walks to her room to grab her trunk. She heads outside to the car and sits quietly waiting for her dad. Her mum's only acknowledgement that she changed like asked was a small nod to say thank you. The drive to Kings Station went relatively quietly and calmly. Pet seemed to have calmed down and just decided that ignoring Lily’s existence would go better then arguing and her parents just seemed to be content with singing softly to the music on the radio.
Finally when they were almost there her mum turned and said “How are we supposed to get to platform 9 ¾’s again?” Petunia shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Lily looked thoughtful for a moment trying to remember what the letter Professor Mcgonagall sent said.
“We go to platform 9 and 10 then on the third pillar we are to run at it, we go through it and we’ll be on platform 9 ¾’s.”
“The pillar? You mean the metal pillar? We are supposed to run at it?” Petunia asked, frightened.
“Yes,” Lily said carefully, “You guys don’t have to run through the pillar with me if you don’t want to, Sev promised he’d wait for me on the train.” Lily looked down waiting for her parents' response. She knows that her mum doesn’t like Sev but is fine with them being friends since he’s the only wizard she knows. Her dad is neutral but he always is.
“No, Lily Flower, we want to go with you. We won’t see you for so long and we might as well get used to the world our baby will be living in for her school years,” Her dad spoke gentilly giving her a moment to respond. He was always good at showing Lily that she was loved even if she didn’t believe it herself.
“Ok, I’d like that,” Lily whispers. She just hopes Severus won’t be all touchy about them coming. She doesn’t know if she can really deal with that.
XX
They finally arrive after what feels like hours and Lily is quickly out of the car grabbing her trunk and owl from the back. Her owl for some reason really didn’t like Petunia so her dad had put her in the car the night before. She made sure to keep going out to check on her and feed her, it’s not like she could sleep much last night anyway. Her dad chuckles at her eagerness and silently grabs her trunk and they walk in silence to the platform.
They see a couple of people already running through the barrier. She speeds up leaving her family behind mostly. She hears her mom saying something about ladys running and Pet mumble about freaks but her dad is hot on her heels.
“I’m gonna beat you” He says in a sing-songy voice as he passes her. She laughs, a good heartfelt laugh as she speeds up to a full on run to chase her dad. He gets through the pillar first but she is right behind him when she passes through. She nearly runs over her dad when he has stopped abruptly right inside the barrier. She can see why. It’s gorgeous, the train, the crazy looking people, and all the surrounding area. She giggles as she moves her dad forward to let her mum and sister through. They stand near the train as her parents stare at anything and everything all at once. She knows they are too distracted to say goodbye so she just hugs them and says she loves them before grabbing her trunk and turning to her sister.
She scoffs “I’m not hugging you freak and it’s not like I love you so just get on the train and I’ll lead them out.” She points an accusatory thumb over her shoulder at their parents and turns around to pull them away.
Lily sighs again, why was this day slowly turning sour, thank god for her dad. She doesn't see Severus so she just gets on the train towards the back and goes to the first compartment she sees. No one is in there so she just changes in to her school robes so no one else has to see her in this horrific dress. She likes that her robes are a little too big for her; she doesn’t really want to show that she has kind of developed early. She doesn’t want to be made fun of.
She decides to just sit there for the thirty minutes it’s gonna take for the train to leave. She mostly just stares out the window not really watching anything in particular. She sees a girl with really short curly hair and super clear chocolate skin talking admittedly to her amazed looking parents. She must be in the same boat as her, muggle-born, that’s what Severus said they were called.
There was another girl she noticed that was practically jumping off the walls with a long blonde ponytail following her movements. She seemed like she lived in dirt because her tan skin was covered in it. Lily wished she could look like either of these girls. Skinny, effortlessly pretty, fun and listened to. She knows that will never happen to her but it might be nice to befriend them, they can probably give her some tips. Pretty much everyone is on the train now and she never even noticed her two new companions in her compartment. That is until the train starts moving and Severus finally finds her.
“Lily there you are, I have been looking everywhere for you.” Severus comes into the compartment and sits right across from her on the bench. Now is when she notices the other two people in the compartment. A shy looking boy with long black hair and who wore fancy robes but not school ones. He was looking down at his feet not acknowledging anyone. The other boy also had black hair but it was much less unkempt and looked goofy, lily had to force herself not to chuckle while looking at him, and he had large wire rimmed glasses that were crookedly hanging on his nose. He was desperately trying to get the other boy's attention.
“I’ve been here. Where were you? I waited for you on the platform but I never saw you.” She sees that he bristles at that and looks away. She touched a sore spot she could tell.
“I was talking to some of the upperclassmen in Slytherin. What happened to you? You look upset.” He says with a look of concern on his face. She knows she shouldn't be mad at him, that he was looking out for her by telling her about Pet begging Professor Dumbledore to let her come to school with Lily but maybe she wouldn’t have been so mean to Lily this morning because of it.
“I got in a fight with Pet last night over her letter and she called me a freak this morning before she left. I can’t believe she can be so mean, especially since it was you who told me.” Lily sighs out exasperated. Severus looks at Lily and anger flashes over his face. He mumbles something and turns back to Lily.
“Lily why would you care what that dumb Muggle thinks of us. You’re a witch you’re much more powerful than her,” He states matter factly like Lily being upset over her sister is a nonchalant thing.
This makes Lily flush angrily, “Whatever Sev, it doesn't matter now she's at home and I’m here.” She looks back out the window and Sev just sighs.
“Ok then Lily, anyway are you excited about school, I hope I get put in Slytherin and you better be in Slytherin too.” He says incredulously pointing at her. She hears a scoff from one of the other boys in the compartment. She honestly forgot they were here.
It was the boy with the wild hair that scoffed, “I’d rather die than be put in Slytherin, it’s an awful place to be sorted.”
“My whole family has been in Slytherin, not that I want to be put there,” The shy boy says softly, not looking up at them.
“What house do you want to be in then?” Lily asks even though she knows it’ll upset Severus.
“I want to be in Gryffindor, it’s the brave house,” Says the boy with glasses.
“I want to be in anything other than Slytherin but there is a likelihood that it won’t happen. Though Gryffindor does sound nice. I’d like to go there.” The shy boy answers again looking up this time and smiles broadly at her and the other boy.
Severus scoffs putting his nose in the air in a way that reminds her of Petunia, “Sure if you’d rather be brawny than brainy.”
“What house will you end up in then, since you're neither. There’s no house for greasy jerks is there?” The boy with the glasses laughs and Lily has to stifle a laugh that tried to come out at that joke. This kid kind of reminds her of her dad, though her dad’s not nearly as mean. Severus abruptly stands and the other boys obviously think he’s going to try to fight because they jump up too. Right as Severus starts pulling out his wand a boy with scars and mousy brown curly hair opens the door. They all stop moving and the other boy looks started.
“Oh I’m sorry,” He starts, “I didn’t see anyone in here, sorry for interrupting, I can go somewhere else.” He looks down and starts to move back. The boy with glasses suddenly gives a start.
“Wait you didn't interrupt anything you can come in and sit with us,” He seems very sincere about the other boy sitting with them that it surprises her when the boy actually does come in and sits on the bench the glasses boy was just sitting on.
“Yeah whatever we were just leaving, come on Lily,” He says aggressively. He’s never aggressive with her. Is he mad at her?
“But Sev,” She starts before he interrupts her.
“Come on and leave your things, the elfs will get them when we get off the train,” He starts to head out the door. She doesn't know what to do so she starts to follow.
The boy with glasses tries to trip Sev and the other boy with long hair says “See ya Snivillus!” as they leave. She can hear their laughter fill the hall as they walk out.
XX
The rest of the train ride goes in a blurr and suddenly she is being rowed- If you can call it being rowed- across a lake to a large castle. Severus hasn’t spoken to her since they left that compartment at the beginning of the train ride. She’s wondering what she did wrong but all thoughts of Severus leave her mind as all the first years are led into the Great Hall. It’s the most amazing site she’s ever seen. The ceiling looks like there is no roof and shows the beautiful starry night sky outside.
There are thousands of floating candles overhead as they walk up to the table at the very front. It’s very obviously filled with staff and teachers. They all have kind eyes watching as the students stop and the teacher who one can only assume is Professor Mcgonagal stands and tells them that they will be sorted into one of four houses, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin. It’s all very interesting and then she pulls out a long list of names. Lily has never been more thankful for her name being at the top of the alphabet.
The first person she recognizes that is called up is the boy who called Severus Snivillus, his name is Sirius Black. The hat actually didn’t ponder very long with him and he was sent to Gryffindor. She saw him beam at the boy with glasses as he walked to the table decked with red and gold. She heard Severus scoff something behind her but she ignored him. She didn’t know anyone else who was called up but very shortly it was her turn.
Mcgonagal called “Evans, Lily.” Lily gulped as she walked up to the three legged stool. Mcgonagal placed the hat on her head and for a moment she felt like she was transported to a different world but the cool stool under her just reminded her she wasn’t anywhere but her new school.
Oh now that’s interesting, a voice said in her head. She almost screamed when she heard this. Do not fret dear it is just I the hat on your head. I’m enchanted to see into your mind. You are quite an interesting specimen. I have no clue where to place you. You show all the signs of smarts and wit. You are kind and helpful. You’re strong willed and courageous, but you are also ambitious and powerful. I think however you’d do best in….. “GRYFFINDOR!” The hat shouted to the students. As soon as Mcgonagal pulled the hat off her head she raced down to sit next to Black and shot an apologetic look to Severus as she sat down.
“Hello again, so your name is Lily. Obviously you hear that mine is Sirius. Glad to be in Gryffindor.” The boy next to her smiled then they turned back to the sorting. The next person to be sorted into Gryffindor was the scarred boy named Remus Lupin. He seemed nice enough with his small wave as he sat down in front of them. The next three were all girls Mary Mcdonald, the girl with short curly hair and clear skin, Marlene McKinnon, The blonde girl who was covered in dirt and Dorcas Meadowes, a girl with really long black hair and the same complexion as Mary. They were all friendly as they sat around Lily and started converting with her.
A rather small boy with very bright blonde hair and a chipped tooth named Peter Pettigrew was next to be sorted to Gryffindor. Then finally to the delight of all the boys around her the boy with the glasses was sorted to Gryffindor. His name? James Potter and she had a feeling she wasn’t going to like him, especially since he asked her to scoot down quite rudely to sit next to Black. Severus was of course sorted to Slytherin where he wanted.
After an odd speech by Headmaster Dumbledore the feast began. The people around her were moderately talkative. Except for Lupin and Meadows, they were as quiet as her. She could feel Severus’ glaring eyes on her and she knew she wasn’t going to live this down quickly. This was going to be a long year.
Chapter 2: October-November 1971
Summary:
Lily gets through her first month great but now she has more problems. Severus us being cruel, the boys and girls are worried for her and she learns kids aren't any better here then they were at her last school.
Chapter Text
October 1st 1971
Lily’s first month went well enough and she actually has made some friends. Severus and her have had several rows since school started but he seems to have settled, ibit uncomfortably, into the fact that Lily is a Gryffindor and there is no fixing that. Severus is constantly on her about spending time with her fellow Gryffindors, saying blankly that none of them are worth her time if they all act like James Potter.
She disagrees with him however, Potter is obnoxious and mean to Severus but it’s not like he goes out of his way to be cruel to her or the other houses in their year. He is definitely a prankster and that irritates Lily to no end, especially since he drags shy Pettigrew, quiet Lupin, and secluded Black in with him. Though she can see how it’s helping them come out of their shells. She's noticed that Black seems to have a boisterous personality under all that sadness. The other boys don’t seem as close to Potter as Black does, and she surely hopes he doesn’t leave them out, but they are coming along just fine. Especially after they found out that Lupin’s mother is sick and every month he goes and sees her, like on the fifth last month.
Her new dorm mates are probably the favorite of the people she has met. They are so sweet and kind to Lily, though they obviously disagree with her choice of company, they never make Lily feel like she is less than. They genuinely enjoy spending time with her. Like right now, they are walking to their first class of the day, Potions with the Slytherins.
“Honestly I find it so dumb that we aren’t allowed to go to Hogsmeade until third year, why shouldn’t we be allowed to go? It’s not like we can’t do everything a third year can,” Marlene complains walking slightly ahead of them. Dorcas giggles but Mary and Lily look at eachother confused.
“Hogsmeade? What’s that” Mary asks sheepishly, looking down to the ground.
“Oh, I’m sorry girls, I forgot your Muggle-Borns and don’t know much about the wizarding world,” Marlene says ashamed.
“Oh! Well it’s one of the only all wizard villages in Britain!” Dorcas exclaims, “It’s very interesting but Hogwarts students aren’t allowed to go til third year since…. Well I don’t actually know why but I’m sure we’ll find out.”
As they get closer to the potions classroom they start to hear what sounds like a scuffle. Marlene Rolls her eyes and sighs, Mary looking nervous but Dorcas just says “Potter and his gang must be attacking Snape again.”
“Will they ever learn not to do that,” Lily sighs, “At least not in front of a classroom where they will definitely get detention.”
“Oh, Lily haven’t you learned yet, they don’t care about detention if it means they can attack your friend,” Mary laughs. She honestly has the weirdest personality out of the 4 of them, she can be nervous and quiet or loud and energetic. Lily thinks that’s Marlene rubbing off on her. Suddenly they hear a huge explosion. All the girls go running to the classroom only to find Severus on the ground and Potter fuming.
“What happened?” Marlene asks frantically. The other girls stand between the Gryffindor boys and Severus while Lily runs over to Severus’ side. She makes sure there aren’t any wounds and that he can stand before turning back to them.
“Severus is fine. So what happened? Your guy’s regular bout of anger then?” Lily asks angrily. She doesn’t know who she is more mad at. The boys for attacking Sev or herself for not being here to stop it. Potter looks like he is about to pop from frustration but Pettirgrew steps in, leaving the other boys to deal with Potter.
“Oh, well, you see, we were just poking fun at Snape and we weren’t going to actually hurt him,” Lily nods calmly, she knows it’s not ok for them to do that but it’s not like she can stop it, though that’s always their excuse. Pettirgrew continues, “But Snape crossed a line, Evans, he really did, he brought up Blacks family.” He looks at her with such anger that she realizes whatever Severus said it was really messed up.
She nods her head curtly “Okay. Severus, is that true?” She glances behind her to see Severus still fuming he just nods his head yes and looks away from her, “Alright well it’s said and done no need to tell Slughorn. Just stay away from each other. The boys looked relieved and Black even gave her a thankful look for not getting mad at them. She turned back to Severus only to see that he was still angry, with a hard look in his eye. Slughorn chose that moment to open the door. He glanced at his students jollyily and gestured them into the room.
Lily and Serverus had already chosen to work together at the front of the class during the first week of school. But today Severus must have decided he didn’t want to work with her and walked to the middle of the class with his Slytherin friends, Mulciber and Belbey. She only sighs and asks to work with Marlene, Mary and Dorcas.
She sat down and waited for Slughorn’s instructions. He wrote the potion they were making today on the board and turned to give directions. His beaming face faltered a little when he saw that Severus and Lily were sitting on different sides of the room.
He gained his composure and said “Ahh, I see some of us have moved places. However Lily dear I won’t allow a group of four and I think perhaps that none of these other ladies are on your level, so why don’t we move you humm?” Lily reluctantly nodded and he looked around trying to decide where to place her. “Why don’t you work with Mr. Potter and Mr. Black.” She got up and moved back to their table at the back of the room. She sent an apologetic smile to her friends and sat down.
All the boys were sitting at the table together. They each shared a look that she couldn’t read. “Hullo Evans,” Potter waved and nudged Black. He just mumbled a hello and looked down. She never understood why he could be so crazy with Potter but not with the other Gryffindors.
“Hullo guys. Sorry about this. But no need to fret, Severus and I’ll make up and you can go back to having a table all to yourselves in a couple weeks at most.” Lily giggled then wrote down the ingredients waiting for Slughorn to finish what he was saying before going to get supplies. When she looked back up at the boys they were each giving her significant looks of questioning. “What?” She asks, “Is something on my face?” She reaches up to wipe at her face.
“Oh no nothing like that it’s just… it seems like you guys are always in a fight. Is everything okay?” Lupin asks shyly from across the table. She looks confused for a second not realising that they mean the last couple of explosive fights she and Severus had.
“No, no not at all. We probably are both just stressed because this is a big change for both of us. No need to worry about us,” She forces a giggle and a tight smile before turning down to the parchment in her hand, “Ok, I can go get the ingredients and then we’ll get started.” She gets up and walks to the ingredient cabinet as fast as possible. She didn’t realise anyone would notice her and Sev fighting, it’s not like she's used to anyone noticing her let alone being truly worried. Maybe her dad but he works a lot so she doesn’t see him very often.
She doesn’t notice Severus coming up behind her. He leans in close to her ear and says “Lily you can’t honestly believe their concern will last long do you?” It’s like he read her mind and since when does he eavesdrop on her conversations. A shiver slithers down her back. He continues, “Why do you think anyone other than me could truly care about someone like you?” He grabs his ingredients and turns back to his table. She must have really messed up if he was going to say something so cruel to her.
The rest of class flys by in a blur. Lily is very obviously upset and the poor boys have no idea how you help. All they do is continue shooting sympathetic looks in her direction. As soon as class ends she practically runs from the class going anywhere to hide. She doesn’t want to talk to any of them and might not ever again.
XX
October 5th 1971
Lily noticed something was off the second she walked into the Great Hall. All boys had their heads down and together like they always do when they were planning something. However Lupin was missing. They also all looked rather concerned. Marlene and Mary looked less concerned than them but Dorcas looked pale. Lily cautiously walked up to the table and sat down next to Dorcas, she didn’t seem to notice Lily’s presents yet.
Lily looked at all the other Gryffindors in her year then said in a soft whisper, “Is something the matter Dorcas you look sick. Do you need someone to walk you to the hospital wing?” This seemed to startle them all.
“No!” Dorcas shouted immediately. Lily couldn’t be sure but she thought she saw Dorcas become even more ashy for a moment before she turned back to studying her plate.
“Well then what is the matter?” Lily asked impatiently. It’s not like she had time for this.
“Her matter is that she was already in the hospital wing.” Mary said matter-of-factly. Before Lily could turn back to ask Dorcas why she left the hospital wing if she looks so sick Marlene answered her unspoken question.
“She didn’t originally go in there because she was feeling unwell, She went in there because she wanted to ask Madam Pomfrey a few questions but when she got in there she saw Lupin. She said she went to talk to him while Pomfrey was helping him to ask why he was there. She apparently saw him looking ill and pale with a large gash across his abdomen. She’s looked like this ever since.”
This took Lily a minute to wrap her head around because why would he be ill. “I thought he was going to see his mum last night after class and was staying the day with her?” Lily asked.
“So did we,” said Potter, “We tried going down there to see him, but the old bat won’t let us in to see him.” He was angry, she could tell. It’s not like he was very good at hiding his emotions.
“Well and to see who hurt him so we can beat them up,” said Black. At least good to know they truly care about their friend.
“That is not really the best way to go about it,” Lily said gathering her food on her plate, “You four are always sneaking around being hooligans and causing mischief. It’s like you’ve got a map that tells you where people are. I mean how else do you get around so easily without getting caught?” There seemed to be a light bulb that went off in their heads as she finished speaking. All three shared a glance and jumped up running from the hall. “Where are you going,” Lily shouts after them.
“To find a way to get to Lupin in the hospital wing,” Pettigrew shouted back as they ran to the door.
“Yeah and thanks for the idea Evans!” Black shouts as they go through the door.
“What ever do they mean by giving them an idea? All I said was that they were always sneaking around doing their little thing.” Lily looked scandalized by the idea of ever helping those four with a prank.
“Yeah, their maraduring is so cute,” Mary replied, giggling. Looks like Marlene is rubbing off more than she thought. And for some reason Lily really feels a need to go to the library.
XX
October 30th 1971
After weeks of research Lily couldn’t find any reason as to what kind of spell could do that to Lupin. Somehow those boys found a way into the hospital wing without Madam Pomfrey finding out. She still had no clue how they did it.
When Lupin got out of the hospital wing everyone was concerned for his health and safety. Well everyone that knew anyway. He had limped into the common room at about 8 o’clock leaning on Black for support. He seemed to just wait for the scolding to start. Not a single one of them moved. He finally said he didn’t want to talk about it. They all left it at that.
When almost everyone had headed up to bed besides Dorcas, Lupin, Black and her, Lily finally got the courage to ask.
“I know you don’t want to talk about it and I’m not asking you too but could I see your wound?” She spoke so softly that she didn’t think he heard until he lifted his shirt for her to see. Dorcas looked away, She later told Lily that she didn’t have it in her to see it again even if it was healed, Black however stared at it blankly and openly. She leaned down a little to get a good look.
She leaned back up and said, “I’ve never had a scar as long before but I do have some scars from a lot of different stuff.” She leaned back and pulled up her skirt just enough to see the top of her thigh. “When I was 7 my grandfather crashed his car while I was sitting up front with him. The glass from the windshield shattered and cut me. This is from a piece of glass getting lodged in my leg. A small piece is still in there. Sometimes it feels like it’s rubbing against my bone.”
The rest of the night Black, Dorcas and Lily spent it talking about their scars to make Lupin feel better about his. They all fell asleep huddled on the couch and that's where Potter and Pettigrew found them the next morning.
Lily really loves thinking about that night, it's calming to her. But now that she’s seen the scar all she can think about is finding out what did it. She knows it wasn’t a spell. She decided to go to the magical creature section of the library. She hunkered down with a large book, Fantastic beasts and where to find them, on the table and spent the whole day reading it.
(A/N Don’t worry ya’ll she’s not going to find out for a little while longer)
XX
November 19th 1971
Lily honestly feels like this whole year is going to fly by too fast for her to truly enjoy it. Last week her and Sev finally made up, however he still wasn’t sitting with her in potions class. It felt like weeks since she last saw him but he still wasn’t talking to her. Her being held up in the library during all free time and her fellow housemates taking up the rest of her non-class time made it extra difficult for her to see him. So it surprised her when he came up to her after a potions lesson.
“Hullo. Can we meet in the library after classes are over? I need to get this essay for potions done and we both know you're the best at writing essays,” How could she say no. Obviously she was planning on doing research for Lupin’s scar, she had yet to find anything but she got Professor McGonagall to give her a permission slip for the restricted section of the library, and helping Mary with her charms paper but this was as good a time as any to catch up with Sev.
“Yes of course. I’ll just need to tell Mary that I can help her with her charms essay later,” He just nods his head and walks away from her.
After classes are over and she has let Mary know she’ll help her in the common room, she doesn’t want to subject Mary to his nastiness and Mary is thankful, she heads to the library to wait for Severus to arrive.
She headed to her normal table at the back of the library, it’s right next to a window so it lets in alot of natural light, and pulls out her potions book. She hears some second years in the corner of the room behind some shelves chuckling but she ignores them. That is until she realises they are laughing at her. When she looks up at them she starts to feel funny and dizzy. Some of the other kids are pointing at her face and laughing. She fishs her mirror compact out of her bag to see what they were laughing at. She regrets this decision immediately because on her face was a pig nose and the words fat pig across her forehead spelled with her freckles.
She tried her absolute hardest not to cry and she put her compact away and turned back to her book. Just a few seconds later Severus walked up to Lily shooing off the boys that hexed her. She wouldn’t look up at him and blatantly refused to talk to him for fear her voice would tremble and shake in fear. He finally just got irritated and forced her to look at him. He laughed a little and sat down across from her.
“Oh come on Lily, don’t be so childish. It’s quite funny. Learn to take a joke,” He pulled his class work out and left it at that. She thought maybe he was right and she let him get rid of it, though it took till they were ready to leave the library for him to do the counter. She chose not to tell her friends they’d probably just not get it.
The next four weeks were filled with people laughing about her behind her back. People jinxing her with pig noses and pig tails, as well as cow ears and spots. Some of these happened in front of her house mates. They usually had very angry reactions. She always told them it was okay and laughed it off, though that’s not how she felt. She’d never been more thankful for the holidays coming up then she did during those weeks.
Notes:
So I'm thinking I'm going to just post more during the weekends instead of over the week since I have a lot of school stuff going on and it's my senior year. I'm posting this today since we have a football game tomorrow specifically homecoming and my friends are going to want to go. Have a good weekend and Kudos are greatly appreciated so THANK YOU!!!
Chapter 3: Chapter 3: December and Winter Holiday 1971
Summary:
December comes and goes and of course we had to introduce the shitty Slytherins! (I'm a Slytherin so please don't be offended by that) and we found out how the boys got their name!
Notes:
C.W Some internalized fatphobia
More notes at the end, they are kinda important if your sticking this out so please read
Kinda short even though it's late I'm so sorry (explanation at end of chapter)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
December 10th 1971
Two weeks into December she got a letter from her father asking if she would like to stay there. He seemed to mean no harm from it, saying he just found that it was an option when he got a letter from Professor Mcgonagall. He claimed they would just be having a normal boring holiday since her grandparents would be unable to come up and her dad’s brother was going to his wife's parents for the holiday. Lily knew her mum didn’t talk much to her parents but it felt a little odd that she didn’t at least invite them.
She responded that she would stay and she’d let Professor Mcgonagall know. She found out later that Severus had no way of not going home when his fathers parents decided they were coming and he’d been forced to go and be a buffer between his mum and grandparents. So she knew she would be forced to be alone. She told the Gryffindor girls that she was to be alone and immediately Mary tried to jump on the ‘I’ll stay here with you’ train but Lily insisted they not worry about her.
They were a little hesitant to agree with not staying for Lily’s sake but they ultimately did. They were leaving the morning of the 17th and she couldn’t be any less excited. She had no problem being alone but it felt a little off putting to be spending the whole of the holidays in a big empty castle.
“Evans….. Evans…. Lils….. Lily…. Lils hello are you in there,” She was brought back to earth by a hand waving in her face. It was none other than James Potter bothering her yet again. “Ahh there you are,” He said when she turned to glare at him, “I thought we’d lost you. As I was saying, Are you staying for the holidays? Marly said something about it but I supposed I should just ask you.”
“Uh, yeah I’m staying. And good call I guess since Marly doesn’t really know much,” She said glaring at the bouncy blonde ponytail a few feet ahead of them bobbing next to Dorcas and Pettigrew. They must have been talking about quidditch judging by the excited movements.
“Why do you need to know anyway Potter,” Severus snarled from her other side. She’d forgotten he was there; he must have saddled up next to her on their way out of potions.
“It’s none of your business Snivellus but if you must know the boys and I are staying back as well. We just wanted to know who all was staying back,” Potter shot back looking apprehensive. Instead of asking why they were staying back, not like he would tell her anyway, especially not with Severus right next to her, she said.
“Oh so you know who all is staying back? That’s great because I had no idea who I’d be stuck with. Who’s staying?” She put her index finger on her chin and looked up while she talked. She wanted it to seem like she was going to just ignore Severus and Potters annoyance with each other since she really didn’t want to deal with it.
“Well it’ll be us boys, you, obviously, the Prewett twins, and Frank and Alice.” The twins honestly didn’t surprise her, she assumed that they would be working something dumb and prank worthy and that’s why they stayed. Frank and Alice love Hogwarts and being only fourth years gives them some leniency in their strictness. They’d probably become prefects by next year.
She just nodded her head as they kept walking. She realized she had either boy on the side of her but her other friends were also being weird. Mary was only a few steps ahead of her in the middle of the crowd. Pettigrew, Dorcas were on either side of Marlene talking but they were back further to sort of be more stationed on either side of Mary. Black and Lupin seemed to be taking up the rear close to behind where Lily was walking. Lupin even looked slightly put out. She realized then that something was up.
She leaned towards Potter knowing Severus wouldn’t know fully what was happening. “What’s going on Potter? Did you idiots do something?” She whispered. Voice calm but not hiding her partial panic. He looked at her sort of frighteningly.
He leaned down because of course she had to be short for an 11 year old. He whispered in her ear, “Yeah, Sirius’ cousin threatened to hex us in the hallways if she sees us. It’s unlikely she will since her older sister is a sweetheart but that won’t stop her psycho boyfriend. And they especially threatened you and Mary since your muggle-borns.” A shiver went up her spine.
“Who’s her boyfriend, is he a Slytherin?” She whispered softly next to his face.
“Yes he is. His name is Lucius Malfoy. You probably know who he is since your boyfriend is best friends with him,” She visibly bristled at that but before she could say anything she heard a loud gasp and a small scream before Marlene came falling backwards. Before she knew it she was under Marlene and holding her head up from hitting the ground. She looked around and noticed a large group of Slytherins including Lucius Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, Lastrange, Muliber, Yaxley, the Carrow twins and Narcissa Black she was standing further back from all the rest of them and just looked annoyed at these antics.
“Oh come on Lucius, they are first years they don’t know the first thing about spells let alone dueling. Let’s just go to lunch please?” She rolled her eyes and huffed.
Some in the group scowled, other laughed darky. They were all rather terrifying. Lily had suddenly noticed that as soon as she left his side Severus had gone around their group and was now standing in front of them with the other Slytherins. Lily felt like she couldn’t really blame him. They were his other friends after all.
Lucius finally looked away from the group as they tightened around each other to look at Narcissa. She was glaring right back. Lily didn’t know much about wizard relations but she felt as though this was one of those times where she should look away. He looked positively furious and Lily suspected that he might hit her. But instead he gave up. He threw his hands up in defeat and walked towards his girlfriend who accepted his outstretched hand. The other Slytherins looked at him confused.
“Let’s go, you fools. We are all hungry and let’s face it Cissy is right they are no fun at all,” He commanded walking towards the Great Hall's doors. At that exact moment someone new came around the corner. All she could see were slytherin robes and a slytherin uniform but she assumed they were not that bad as the crowd around her, Marlene and Mary started to disperse.
The head girl Andromada Black, another cousin of Sirius Blacks, and her boyfriend and head boy Ted Tonks came to a stop in front of them. They must have noticed they’d had a run in because Andromada just tsked and knelt down to undo the petrifying hex put on Marlene who was still lying on Lily’s pudgy thighs. Marlene sat up so quickly Lily didn’t see her coming until she hit her head squarely on Lily’s nose, surely breaking it.
There was a sickening crack and a few shouted ows before the blood started flowing. It was everywhere and while her friend were freaking out Andromada chuckled and said “Sorry about that love, I forget not everyone knows you have to get out of the way once you’ve unpetrify someone. But no worries, it's an easy fix and simple clean.” She did a spell to fix her nose and Lily immediately felt better, then she did a small spell to clean her clothing and Ted cleaned the blood from the floor with the same spell.
Lily mumbled out a small thank you before she was pulled up to her feet and black had gone on to babbling about something very interesting he had learned to his cousin. Marlene pulled the girls into the hall and they were all seated again before anyone spoke.
“Well that was quite terrifying,” Marlene chuckled, reassuming her carefree attitude towards things.
“Yes and very amusing,” Laughed Mary, making Dorcas giggle with her. Lily disagreed with Mary however it was honestly so scary even though the other kids had made a protective circle around Mary, Marlene and Lily. The Gryffindor boys ran into the great hall giggling and laughing. They came to a stop and sat down with the girls at the table.
Black turned to them and said, “My cousin has now given you four a group name. She dubbed you all the flower power girls.”
The girls just giggled and nodded their heads, Andromeda Black seemed to be terrible at coming up with nicknames. Lily kind of hoped it would last though, She never had a group of friends with a title.
December 20th 1971
Her holiday had been absolutely rambunctious so far. She was starting to regret saying she’d stay here. The boys were non stop bothering her especially if they found her exploring the castle. When they weren’t irritating her, one of the twins or Alice were ircking her nerves. She liked Alice perfectly well and if she wasn’t so much at times they could be great friends. She was glad for the few hours of alone time she got in her dorm before Alice would pop in and say that they needed to head down to breakfast or something along those lines.
She had tried on multiple occasions to just hide in her room but Alice had come in about 2 hours in and started irritating her until she left the room. She was pretty sure that was on purpose. But she liked wandering the hall, even if it was freezing. Had this school never heard of heating. It was Christmas Eve and she was sure she was expected down in the great hall soon but she was just so interested in this weird tapestry. It was of some strange unicorn thing with a skull as a head but other than that a completely normal body. She knows she was staring at it for a while now but she hadn’t yet worked up the courage to touch it.
But this time she did. Her fingers, rather chubby as she thought, were tracing along the back of the weird creature when suddenly there was no wall behind it anymore. She moved the tapestry gently only to find a plain brick wall. Confused, she ran her hand along the wall but then she noticed her hand slip into the wall as if it disappeared. She decided that it could be a bit of fun and if anyone asked why she took so long to get to the feast she’d have an excuse ‘I’m so sorry I got lost in a secret passageway’ she did not like eating in front of people let alone teachers.
She steeled herself and walked through. It was dark and strangely lit by glowing green dots on the ceiling. They looked like stars. They kind of reminded her of the glow in the dark stars stuck to her ceiling from when she was a young child. She started her walk down the passage touching the rocky hard wall and ducking beneath the low pillars. She came to a spot that was relatively tight so she had to walk through sideways. She cursed her body.
Eventually she thought she might have reached the end; it only took her 20 or so minutes to find it. She wanted to see where it exited; however, suddenly she heard voices outside the passage. They were voices she recognized and knew fairly well.
“What do you guys think? Can we find every secret passageway before the other students are due back?” Lupin asked quietly.
“Definitely! We can use the cloak and sneak around at night looking everywhere!” Black shouted excitedly.
“I think it would be better to be a little more organized than that,” Lupin laughed.
“Yeah! That’s a good idea Lupin, we shouldn't let these two run around all crazy in the middle of the night” Petigrew may seem like he was the tag along but Lily knew better. They were all exactly the same. Arrogant, annoying and full of themselves. At least they have been throughout the last month. She suspected that was all Potter’s doing.
“Guy’s if we find the one that leads down to the dungeons we should do a prank on the Slytherins when they get back,” Black laughed excitedly.
“Yes, I absolutely agree. Tonight we will go to dungeons and try to find the passageway that leads closest to the tower! Then we will be able to pull a prank. Got any ideas stored away in that big brain of yours Lupin?” Potter said. She could hear nothing else but assumed they were making a plan on their way down to the dinner. She waited for a few minutes then exited the passageway. She somehow managed to exit at the transfiguration hall.
XX
She was late for dinner and Professor McGonagal just reminded her she should be on time for everything while at school then said nothing else. Dinner was pleasurable. There was all the staff and the headmaster as well as the few students who stayed behind. When she got back to the tower she was ready to pass out.
She decided she was going to stake out in the common room to deter the boys from escaping. However she ended up falling asleep. They snuck out some time after she had fallen asleep. She could have sworn she heard something fall and had woken up slightly only to see no one.
The next time she woke up she heard it. The sound of the portrait door opening. She could have sworn she even heard familiar laughter. Her anger bubbled up; she had no idea why. As soon as they crawled through the whole in the wall she stood up and started screaming. They all stared at her dumbfounded. She paused for a few moments to shoot a quick muffliato in the room before continuing.
She screamed till her voice was starting to get hoarse. None had said a single word. She turned to stalk up stairs when she remembered something Mary had said. She whipped around quickly and said “One day your little marauder’s scheme will get boring and a prey it’s soon!” Before she turned around though she saw a spark in Potter and Black’s eyes as they turned excitedly to the other boys. Her last thought before falling asleep was ‘What have I done? My life just got a lot more difficult.’
Notes:
I first want to say I'm so sorry this is late! I've been dealing with a lot right now and I had a friend who pasted this last weekend so mentally not so great but I'll try and keep up weekly for yall sticking with me. First year is kind of a introducing and giving personality to some of the characters. But I would also like to add that this is close to cannon but not cannon complacent. There are going to be insert characters in the future and a lot of tugging and pushing for Lily. I'm also not just keeping it in just her point of view forever is will bounce around a bit in later chapters but it'll mostly be Lily's pov. Please stick with me lol I know this is gonna be a long one but I so want it to be liked! I'm obsessed with these characters they have my heart and I know they do for many of you as well. All comments and Kudos are so appreciated and I love them but it isn't necessary that you do. Though it does put a smile on my face
Chapter 4: Chapter 4: January-March 1972
Summary:
Lily realizes some things about the Marauders and maybe even a few things about her friendship with Severus.
Tw: some harsh comments to herself and some from other people around her
Notes:
This one is longer than normal. And I really hope you enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
January 15th 1972
Lily has been researching Lupin’s aliment for a while now and she had practically looked through every book in the library on medicinal practices of wizards and witches, she had so far found nothing. It was getting late on that Saturday evening and she was thankful to be practically alone in the library. It was a necessity since she had finally found what she was looking for. She remembers jumping up and screaming as she read the page. It matched perfectly.
Madam Pince told her to be quiet and if she wasn’t checking out a book she better be leaving in five minutes. Lily immediately ran to the magical creature section of the library to check out as many books that could possibly involve what she was looking for and checked them out immediately. Madam Pince looked at her weird as she ran her wand over them. But she said nothing and sent Lily on her way. Lily remembered staying up all night reading through those books in the safety of her curtains.
XX
The next morning she had no idea what to do. On one hand she could just tell him she found out and hope he isn’t too angry with her for invading his privacy but on the other hand she could say nothing and wait for him to bring it to her when he trusts her enough with this secret. She wondered if he had told the other boys, who now insisted on being called the Marauders, no thanks to her, but she doubted if he had. It seemed like it was taboo in the wizarding world and looked down upon.
How was she supposed to tell Lupin that she knew he was a werewolf without him freaking out and thinking she was going to out him. It’s obviously being kept a secret for a reason. And she has so many questions that none of the books answered. It seems werewolves were grossly under researched. If the ministry tried a little harder maybe they would have already found a way to help werewolves, at least a little. She hated that they were treated this way, of all the things she read, the book, “How to Kill a Werewolf the Proper Way” had been the worst one she read. She had no clue why it was in a library for children.
She nearly missed breakfast with all the thinking, debating and weighing options she was doing, so it was no surprise most of the school had already headed off to do other things. However, one person in her year was still at the table. She had no idea how to react when she saw Lupin sitting there alone. She knew she shouldn't act any different around him otherwise he would know something was up. So she walked over, took her seat and started eating, she wasn’t refusing to acknowledge him she was just waiting till he looked up.
He didn’t so she felt the need to say something “Hello Lupin, where are the other “marauders” this morning,” she used air quotes to show she didn’t find their name amusing. He finally looked up, he wasn’t sad or angry or shy like she usually saw, just tired, extremely tired.
“Hullo Evans, I’d assume they are running about the school getting into more trouble before their detentions. I haven’t seen them yet.” He smiled slightly at the thought of his friends running amok.
“Ah and why is that?” Lily asked foundly, she did find some of their antics hilarious and Lupin was her favorite.
“Oh I just didn’t get enough sleep last night is all, you know how it can be,”
“That I can Lupin, that I can,” and just like that all her worries about what to do fell away. She knew her only option was to wait for him to tell her and honestly she didn’t mind how long it took. It gave lots of time to do research and “investigate” on her own.
XX
January 30th 1972
The full moon was tonight and Lily couldn’t even think of anything other than that, even though it was her birthday. Today was a sunday so she knew she wouldn’t have to be worried about Lupin snapping in class and being grouchy all day. But that also meant she was going to be asked by Sev to hang out with him at all meals.
She woke up that morning to Marlene and Mary fighting about whether or not to wake her up and give her the present they all bought her. Dorcas could be heard grumbling in the background but Lily had no clue what she was saying. She decided not to let them keep fighting and groaned, getting up and moving her curtains to look at her new friends.
Marlene's hair seemed to have gotten blonder since the beginning of school and she was as smiley and muscular as ever. Mary’s petite figure was wrapped around Marlene's neck trying to wrestle her to the ground. They’d found she was rather tomboyish when she wasn’t all shy acting. Dorcas was trying her hardest to pull Mary off Marlene with one hand while holding a brightly wrapped present in the other.
As soon as Lily opened the curtains they stopped moving in one fluid motion. They stared at her for about four seconds before Mary was jumping off Marlene and Dorcas was handing her the present. It rattled and bounced as she moved it. Marlene started singing her happy birthday, although off key, and the other girls joined in.
When they stopped Mary practically shouted in her ear “Open your present now! We didn’t go through the trouble just so you can stare at the wrapping, though Dorcas did a great job.”
She giggled gratefully and slowly looked around the box for a card, she was taught to always read the card first, when she saw none she opened the box. There was no note on the top of the contents either. She pulled out a muggle band t-shirt first. It was purposely ripped in some places to give it a dirty look, all she could think about was her mother’s face if she ever saw it, and it looked like it would be a bit big on her which she was thankful for. It had some band she didn’t know on it but she was fine with that.
There was a pair of bell bottom jeans which she would never wear in there as well. And when she looked up confused at the girls Marlene excitedly explained that they had a charm on them to where they will always grow with her and fit her the way she wanted. She had know clue where they found that charm but she was fine with them having it, which might make her wearing jeans easier for her to do. The rest of the items were a random assortment of things, some muggle and some wizard but all appreciated nonetheless.
It had taken a lot of convincing but they finally got her to let them dress her up. They had put her in her new clothes, tying the shirt tightly behind her back so it was more fitting to her shape. The jeans were way tighter then she would have liked but she did it for them. And it wasn’t uncomfortable which she assumed was the charm doing it’s work. They even did her hair, a tight plait braid with lots of face framing pieces, and makeup, some dark eyeshadow and eyeliner which she was sure she wasn’t supposed to wear until she was way older. She honestly felt like one of those teen girls she used to see at concerts when her dad was able to take her. Her mum didn’t agree to that very often.
After an hour of preening they were ready for breakfast and Lily was dreading it. The girls decided to dress similar to her in solace, she didn’t want to be the only person dressed like this, but they were way subtler than her, claiming they wanted her to be the center of attention. She thought this was a dumb idea, who’d want to be foreced to see an ugly girl like her, even if in this outfit she felt pretty, she knew who she was.
She also didn’t exactly want to see Severus. But guess who was the first person she saw waiting outside the great hall’s door, it was none other than Severus Snape. He didn’t even get a chance to speak before Marlene said “Piss off Snape. You can have Lily later, but we’ve got a breakfast surprise for her.” She never even gave him a chance to say anything back before she was pushing her into the hall and towards the Gryffindor table.
“Wow Evans, look at you embracing yourself! Love the look.” Black shouted as she sat down. He was going to be a right flirtatious prat when he got older, she just knew it.
“Well thank you Black that was all my handiwork!” Marlene beamed behind her.
Mary elbowed her in the side and Dorcas scoffed saying “You mean all of our handiwork Mckinnon since it took us all to get her into that getup.” Lily and the Marauders laughed at the look on Marlene’s face as she stared dumb founded at her friend.
“Happy Birthday Evans,” Lupin said softly, passing her the eggs and some toast. The breakfast she eats every morning.
“Thank you” She said kindly, taking the food and making her plate. The Marauders tried to sing her happy birthday loudly in front of everyone but she refused to let them. When breakfast was over the girls gave her the surprise, a whole day they planned that was full of things Lily loved to do. She was then given the presents from her parents, deciding that she would just open them later not wanting to see yet another letter about her need to lose weight from her mother.
The girls had planned so much that it spilled over into the lunch hour and they ended up just having a lunch picnic by the lake. Even with the freezing weather it was beautiful. The rest of their plans involved the Marauders and pretty soon she forgot all about spending any time with Sev. By the time dinner rolled around she had sort of forgotten about him completely.
Lupin had already separated from them claiming to need to go head home to see his sick mum. She thought that wasn’t the greatest excuse people could easily figure that out. But it wasn’t her place to barge. She was honestly having fun. She never had this much fun at home before. She knew that wasn’t entirely true. She always had fun with her dad. And sometimes she had a great time with Sev. But for some reason these Gryffindor dorks just got her a lot better than anyone else. It was very strange and she just didn’t get it. Like right now on their way to dinner, Potter and Black were showing her and Mary a few spells they learned from a book, an actual book!
They were all laughing and having fun even when they had only known each other for a few months at this point. She felt like she could really care for them, maybe. Sometimes they were annoying, sometimes they were sweet. She was used to the kind of annoying the girls were, The flower power girls had stuck for some unknown reason, but the marauders were something else she wasn’t used to yet, they irked her more often than she would like to admit.
She heard Sev before she saw him. He was shouting at Mulciber about something, she heard her name once or twice and even heard ‘those bloody Gryffindors’. She stopped in her tracks. The others had heard too and stopped with her. They looked slightly upset but not angry yet. She knew she’d need to handle this otherwise they were going to blow this out of proportion.
“Listen, I am going to handle whatever he’s on about and I want none of you to say anything. I don’t want to deal with another fight. Just walk ahead of me and head into the great hall.” She spoke intently. She spoke more to the girls but 3 out of 4 of the marauders understood that she was talking specifically about them.
“But lily…” Marlene started. Potter interrupted her and it was the first time she was really grateful for him being there.
“Come on Mckinnon, Evens is right let's just head to dinner before Peter gets violent,” He laughs waving for her and everyone else to follow him. They did, keeping quiet as they walked towards the doors to the great hall. As Potter passes Sev he says, “Alright Snape?” and keeps walking. Severus is too mind boggled to say anything snarky back. His mouth is still hanging open when she gets to him. She pushes down her giggle, trying very hard not to laugh at the look on his face. He finally notices her and goes right back to being angry. His face flashes with anger and disgust while looking her over.
“Hi Sev sorry I didn’t see you today the girls had so much planned that we spaced on everything else. Do you maybe want to eat dinner with me and the girls tonight?” She tried very hard to not sound like she was hoping he’d say no and she could go back to her fun day.
“Merlin Lily, what makes you honestly think I’d want to sit with that group of hoodlums? I honestly can’t think of anything I’d rather do less. How about you come and sit with me and my sophisticated friends instead. Though they might not like what you’re wearing. Honestly, what are you wearing? You look like those hooker teenages that run amok back at home. And it doesn’t look good,” That crushed her soul even more and she knew she looked deflated but he apparently had more to say, “What’s with the shite on your face, you look nasty with that on. What happened to the sweet and gentle looking Lily I know?” Maybe he had a point there, “Whatever you ditched me all day to hang out with a bunch of arrogant and egotistical prats all day so the least you can do is eat dinner with me and my friends at the Slytherin table.”
He grabbed her arm and pulled him to the table. She noticed he sat with Malfoy and other older students. She noticed also that he sat on the opposite side of Malfoy. Andromeda saw her and gave a little wave, while getting up and coming around the table to sit on Lily’s other side. Narcissa Black just rolled her eyes and went back to talking about something Lily didn’t understand to Malfoy. Some people sneered or jeered but said nothing. Probably because she was with Severus and he was with Malfoy.
“What are you doing here?” Andromeda asked kindly. Looking her up and down, “I love your outfit”
“Thank you,” Lily said in a small voice, “I’m here because I accidentally forgot about Sev all day since my Gryffindor friends gave me a little birthday celebration.” She looked up sadly at the Gryffindor table where her friends were looking at her with concern and talking to each other in low whispers. She gave a little wave and looked back at Andromeda.
She smiled down at her and asked “It’s your birthday?” Lily gave a little nod. “Well then happy birthday and I hope those little lions gave you a great birthday.”
“Thank you Andromeda Black” Lily said, smiling slightly.
“Oh, good heavens don’t call me that!” She laughed, “You can call me Andy or Dromeda or even Drom, Merlin knows that's what Siri calls me.”
“Alright Andy then,” Andy laughed heartily and kept her company all through dinner despite Sev’s glares. She even said goodnight to her as she walked over to her Gryffindor buddies.
“What was that about? Why did you eat with the snakes?” Black asked as they headed up to the dorms.
“Sev was angry I spent all day with you guys so he dragged me over there to eat with them. I don’t want to talk about it. Your cousin is great though Sirius, she was nice to me and kept me entertained all dinner long, Count yourself lucky.” She said as they all went through the portrait hole one by one.
“Yeah, Drom’s the best isn’t she? One of the only people I can stand in my family, Besides my brother and sister,” He laughed heading towards the boys stairs, “Goodnight Evans”
She laughed and said “Goodnight Siri” teasingly as she climbed the stairs. He shouted after her wanting to know how she knew about that nickname but all she did was laugh and continue walking.
XX
February 14th, 1972
Nothing interesting has happened in February so far. But as she could tell all the older students are being odd about valentines day. Lily doesn’t really understand why all these wizards really celebrate muggle holidays but she’s just decided to ignore that weirdness. She was more concerned with what she was going to do about any letters from home on that day.
Usually her and her family would have a fancy dinner exchanging cards of love and happiness but she had a feeling only her father would be participating this year. She didn’t want him to embarrass her at school by sending a large heart shaped card full of glitter and other cutesy things.
She noticed the strange energy around her friends as well. They seemed to either be scared they’ll get a card or excited to get one. It was confusing to her why they cared since they were all 11 or 12. It's not like they needed to worry. Besides she found early on in life to not expect people to do nice things like that even if it was required.
She assumed most of the couples had gotten out their valentine’s day jitters during their Hogsmeade weekend two days earlier. She walked to the Great Hall alone today. She was up super early and didn’t feel like she should wake anyone up to come with her.
She found however she wasn’t the only Gryffindor there early. So was Alice Fortescue. Lily felt she could look up to Alice, even if she could be extremely annoying sometimes. She was top of her year, 4th year to be exact, smart, witty, yet fun and charismatic. Lily wanted to be like that too. Though she might be too wrapped in keeping up with the pure and half blood students.
“Hello Evans!” She greeted as Lily sat a few feet down from her, “I’ve been wondering where you’d run off to. I feel like I haven’t seen you at all. You must know you’re my favorite person to annoy.” She was scooting down the table so she was seated right across from Lily.
“I’m sure I do know that Fortescue. And I’ve been a little preoccupied.” Lily responded, grabbing her regular breakfast and pouring herself some pumpkin juice. Honestly, why couldn’t they just drink water. She knew Alice was going to speak more so there was no point in pulling out the book she's been reading.
“Oh, have you been spending a lot of time with that snape boy?” Alice asked in a polite yet chipped voice. Lily could tell that Alice knew what the answer was. Lily knew that none of her Gryffindor friends, or acquaintances, were very keen on Lily spending time with Sev, they were worried, she knew that but it still felt like a kick in the face. Did they not trust that she had been friends with him long enough to know him differently?
“I thought you didn’t know where I’ve been Fortescue?” Lily decided on this response and a non-accusatory tone. She didn’t sound chipper but she didn’t sound mean either. This seemed like a good compromise for her two sides. She was angry that none of her friends seemed to be able to leave it alone and let her be but she was happy that they cared enough to worry about her. She knew the reputation Sev had but she also knew that was the workings of his friends, Muliber, Avery and Rosier.
“Never mind love. It doesn’t matter, just nice to see you is all,” Alice chimed, smiling kindly at her as the others entered the hall and she scooted down to sit next to Frank and the Prewett twins.
The girls and the Marauders greeted her and sat down. They started eating and chattering but as it came closer to time for the mail to arrive the energy around them seemed to churn with anticipation. Soon they owls swooped down and started delivering cards. So many people were getting cards.
She saw 3 or 4 land in front of Lupin before he quickly grabbed them and put them in his bag, no one else seemed to notice. Mary had a large pile of gifts along with the cards, mostly chocolate she assumed. Marlene had 5 and she was showing them off. Dorcas got quite a few, Lily didn’t get much of a good look before she stuffed them away but she’d say 10 or 12. Potter got a modest 8 and he was grinning ear to ear. Pettigrew got 3 and he smiled down at them, she assumed most were from friends if not all. She got 4 but she didn’t look as she put them in her bag deciding on opening them later, she knew they had to be from her family or Sev there was no way anyone else would send cards to her, fat and ugly as she was.
Black however got a lot more than the rest. There had to be at least 40 cards and there was tons of chocolate and treats along with them. Marelene was giggling her arse off at him. She looked him dead in the face and said “I want to go through them” She looked so serious too.
He laughed and said “Sure, whatever you want Mckinnon. I don’t want to go through them.” and with that she leaned over, laughing as she picked up the large pile.
“I’m assuming you’ll want none from your Sytherin admirers who think you’ll still side with them right?” He nodded his head feverishly. “Good” Marlene replied as she set them on fire.
She continued going through them laughing as she did so, reading them out loud for all of them to hear. They had a good time laughing at his cards and eating his candy. Except his chocolate which he silently handed to Lupin in a nonchalant manner. Lupin and Black were smiling softly for most of the rest of breakfast and on to heading to class where Marlene was still reading his letters.
She got to the end of the pile and her smile softened and she stopped laughing so hard. “Do you want to read your cards from your brother and sister on your own time?” She asked gently, trying not to set him off. He stopped in his tracks and turned back to her quickly.
“There’s a card from my brother and sister in there?” His eyes seemed sad, yet soft. He obviously cared for his siblings.
“There’s two actually, one from your sister and another from your brother,” She grinned at him. He pulled the cards from her hands grinning. This was the first time, since school started, Lily had seen him actually happy to get anything from home. It warmed her heart. She wished her sister could be like that.
XX
March 11th 1972
There were apparently two marauders birthdays in the month of March and she could swear on anything holy that it was going to get annoying. As if Black’s birthday wasn’t bad enough, they had started a new tradition, standing on top of the gryffindor table and yell-singing happy birthday to the embarrassed boy till everyone else joined in, they did it at breakfast, lunch and dinner.
That’s how Lily had spent her morning. Listening to the screeching noise of the marauders singing to Lupin. It was loud but she did thoroughly enjoy the smile on each of their faces. She could tell she was warming up to them and it was getting concerning. They could be really mean when they wanted to and she noticed she was slowly not telling them off anymore.
She made something for Lupin for his birthday, as a way to show him that she knew his secret, she hoped it wouldn’t be too obvious so he wouldn’t freak out. It was a book about accepting your “scars”, especially ones you did to yourself. It was a muggle book so it obviously wasn't about werewolves exactly but she thought it got the point across.
Her dad knew the author so he had sent her a copy that was just the words and had some blank pages for her to draw on. She knew that he didn’t read children's books but she thought the story hitting home and her drawings of him as the main character, as well as all their friends, would make him enjoy the book regardless.
She wouldn’t necessarily call herself an artist but everyone she’d shown her art to had a genuine reaction to it. And seemed very honest about how good it was. She could tell when an adult was lying to her so she guessed that she must have some “untapped potential” or something like that.
She waited till he was finally alone, in a dark corridor for some reason, to give him the book. It was while they were on their way to potions that morning. When he looked at the book he was surprised, then confused. He looked in her eyes and she tried to convey that she knew but she still cared about him. He mumbled a quiet thank you before running off. From then till about middle of third year he actively tried to avoid spending time with her alone.
XX
March, 27th 1972
Potter’s birthday was no different from Lupin’s. It was a lazy Monday and it was going relatively smoothly. It was oddly warm for early spring in Scotland and incredibly humid. Mary and Dorcas were very upset that it was humid. They told Lily that it messed with their hair and made it frizzy.
She thought that sucked. She wouldn’t want to have to deal with that but she thought it might be worth it if her hair could be that beautiful. But what did she know, she was a boring girl from cokeworth.
The marauders were insufferable. They found it hilarious to annoy her and Dorcas but Mary and Marlene loved their banter. She could see that soon they would all become inseparable. She decided it was in her best interest to spend as much time as possible with Severus today. He hated Potter and her spending time with him on his birthday would have made Severus explode.
In class she sat with him, and had him come eat outside with her at lunch. Potter had teased that she just didn’t want to join in the cheerful singing. She zipped back saying of course not she’d never wish an obnoxious rich boy a happy birthday. That’s where everything went downhill. The second she said that Sev took it as an invitation to start railing on Potter. Calling him entitled and arrogant.
In turn riling the other marauders up. She thought this was a poor decision since the full moon was literally in 2 days and Lupin looked like he might be the first to snap. She found that when it came to the marauders the only people allowed to insult Potter were the other boys and her and the girls. She tried to deescalate the situation as best as possible. Pulling Sev away, telling him that was unfair and he shouldn’t be saying those things, apologising to Potter as she does so.
Potter waved it off and had turned around to walk away when the boys decided to pipe up. Black started attacking Sev’s family, calling his mom some cruel things and saying some stuff about his muggle, abusive, father. Peter was just insulting him in any way he could. Severus was shouting things back. The whole while Lupin is getting angrier and angrier until he snapped.
He said “Well you know what Snivellus? I don’t even understand how you can fathom that Lily will ever love you back seeing as how you're an ugly, greasy, pig with a big nose and a holy-than-thou attitude and a narcissism problem! The only reason you have Lily is because you keep her under your thumb with harsh comments and isolation!”
When he said that Lily froze. Not only was that the first time he’d called her by her real name but it also was the first time someone had put the hard questions in her mind. She knew that couldn’t be true… could it? She knew Severus cared about her and had a little crush which she was hoping he would get over. But he was her friend. He wasn't intentionally cruel was he? He was her best friend so it was only right that he pointed out her flaws and insecurities to help her get better. She needed to better herself, just like her mum always said. She came back to reality when she felt a tug on her arm pulling her in the direction she was just dragging Sev.
Everybody seemed so stunned but none more than her. Hearing those words from someone she considered a friend placed a seedling of doubt in her mind. Doubt that Sev had ever actually been her friend, that all he was doing was for his own agenda. Someday that seedling would grow into a large tree and she would know the truth, but it wouldn’t finish growing for 4 more years. Where a branch would smack her directly in the face at the word “mudblood” sneered at her from her best friend's mouth.
She heard one last call from behind her as she was dragged away by Severus. “Lily is too good for you! She’s too kind!”
Notes:
Hey sorry this is super late I've been struggling since my dog died at the beginning or November but I felt this was as good a time as any to post this. This is the second to last chapter in first year! Next one is going to be in James POV so be prepared
Im2oldforthis on Chapter 2 Thu 14 Oct 2021 07:49AM UTC
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