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There is want. 

There is want, and the want is of a body.

Because there is want, and the want is of a body, the body is before God.

It is His, this soft expanse before Him. It is very beautiful, and it is His. He is God, and God may do as He pleases. He may take of the body as He wills.

He is astride the body. He lays a hand to the stomach, and feels muscles tense under His fingers. He strokes the ribs, and hears a small gasp. 

The tongue darts out. Wets the lips. He did not give permission for that. He pushes two fingers into the mouth, holding the tongue so that it cannot disobey him.

The mouth is soft, and shudders around His fingers. There is want.

He is God, and God may do as He pleases.

This body pleases Him. And yet, He… There is still want. What want?

There is want of touching the body. God touches the body.

Perhaps it is a want of the mouth? God touches the body with His mouth. Yes. Want of the mouth.

God carries a vessel with Him. Want is something of vessels. God remembers that once there was hunger. Once there was flesh into His mouth. Perhaps this is the want.

God presses a finger to the sternum, and draws it down, all the way to the navel. Below, the flesh parts cleanly, sliced with the knife of His wishes. The voice cries out, wordless. Pitiful. It does not understand that the body belongs to God. That God may do with the body as He pleases. There is want.

God dips a finger into the slit, and there is a cry of pain, and God’s finger is red. There is whimpering. Also, there is want. God places the finger in His mouth, and He swallows the blood, and He is pleased with the swallowing of the blood and the warm blood in His belly among all the cold, writhing things.

God dips His finger into the slit again, and the whimpering grows louder. The body’s mind is filled with God. There is want. The body understands that it belongs to God, and God may do as He pleases. May take of it as He wills. The body understands that it is fruitful, and it understands that God will harvest. There is want.

God dips His entire hand into the slit. There is warmth and wetness, and shuddering movement. There is want. God is pleased by the warmth and the wetness and the shuddering and as He is pleased there is more want. God pushes deeper into the slit, parting flesh until His arm is deep in the body, disappearing up to the elbow. There is screaming, and thrashing, and God understands that the body is filled with fear, and it is also filled with God, and it fears God, and also it knows that it belongs to God and God is all it knows. And God is pleased, and as He is pleased there is more want.

God clenches His fist within the body, in all the softness and warmth, surrounded by shuddering muscles. Blood appears at the mouth, and it shines, and there is want. God wants the mouth. 

God pulls Himself from the slit in the belly, slowly He removes Himself, and His hand is red and His arm is red and He licks up His arm and across His palm and swallowing the blood pleases Him and the warm blood in His belly pleases Him and increases His want. 

He pushes three fingers into the mouth, because the mouth is where want is. The mouth is wet, and warm, and shuddering. He pushes deep into the mouth, deep where the want is. The throat shudders around His fingers. The body struggles, because it is filled with God, and it cannot breathe. It quivers around God. There is nothing in it but God. There is want. 

God removes His hand. The body is preferred alive. There is gasping, and more whimpering. God puts His hand back in the slit, which is warmer than the mouth and just as wet, but does not quiver in the same way, and the body screams. He grasps slippery warm things inside the slit. God pulls jejunum from the body. There is want. There is want of the mouth. God will taste.

God tears into flesh with His teeth, and the body screams, and big wet green eyes stare at Him. Jejunum is rubbery. He swallows it down and the swallowing pleases Him and the warmth of it in His belly among all the cold, writhing things pleases Him but the rubberiness does not please Him and He drops it, letting it lie coiled outside the body. 

The eyes are glazed, now. The body is in shock. Its mind is gone. This displeases God. God needs a mind in the body or the body cannot truly belong to God, cannot be filled with God. God gifts the body with Grace, and the eyes blink, newly awakened, and there is screaming again. 

God reaches into the slit, further this time, and grasps another soft thing. He pulls, tearing it from its moorings in the body, and the body screams. In His hand the thing is soft, and He grasps and squeezes, and He is pleased with softness. The thing He grasps is liver. He brings it to his mouth, and it is soft and warm and hot metal taste. God swallows it down and it pleases Him in His mouth and it pleases Him in the swallowing and it pleases Him in His belly among the cold, writhing things. God presses His hand to His mouth and swallows it all down and it is warm and soft in His mouth and in His throat and in His belly with the cold, writhing things, and it pleases Him. He licks His hand and swallows down the blood and the juices and the swallowing pleases Him.

But still, there is want. 

Again He reaches into the body, because perhaps want is deep in the body, and He reaches his arm in and grasps, and tears at soft things. The body does not scream, instead, it convulses, jerking once, twice, three times, and this pleases God and there is want because the body convulsed around God. Blood has flown from the body's mouth and coated its lips and the lips are slick and shiny with it and there is certainly want in the mouth, and also the eyes are wide and terrified and filled with God and there is want. God is pleased and there is want. But the body convulses again and it expires. 

This displeases God. He withdraws His hand and in it there is torn lung tissue. This is why the body expired. He created this body and He understands that tearing the lungs will cause it to expire. He gifts the body with His Grace and the body twitches and he sees it breathe and it lives again.

God looks at the torn fragment of lung in His hand and He puts the warm flesh to his mouth and he tastes it. But the flesh is gelatinous and covered in spiky hairs and it displeases God and God spits it on the ground beside the body. There is no want in the lungs, only disgust. 

God plunges his hand into the body because there is still want in the body and he will find it. And the body is screaming and God is far in the body and there is a twitching, pulsing motion. God’s hand is deep in the body and His fingers are a soft cup, and His fingers cup the body’s heart. The body screams, and convulses, and God can feel its heart pumping so quickly. Its heart pumps for God and it is surrounded by God and filled with God. The heart keeps it alive to worship God. The body's eyes are wide with terror and they are filled with God and there is so much want. And God strokes the flesh of the heart with His thumb because it is good and perfect and His and it beats for Him and there is want in it. The body quivers and whimpers around God because it belongs to God and its heart beats for God and God will do with it what He will and there is nothing else for this body only God. And there is want.

There is want in the heart. God must choose. The body will expire if He takes the heart but there is so much want in the heart. There is want of the mouth in the heart. God will taste it and swallow it down and it will be warm in His belly with the cold, writhing things, and it will worship Him in His belly with its warmth and it will be His.

God chooses. The body is preferred alive but there is want in the heart. Want is very large and it increases every moment He is touching the heart. So He takes of the heart. He cups His fingers around the heart and yanks, and he feels spray coming from the heart as it struggles and thrashes because it does not know that it belongs to God and it will worship Him from within soon. Around him the body shudders and twitches and gives soundless gasps. God watches the face. The full-lipped mouth sucks futilely at air and the eyes stare panicked at nothing. The body expires filled with God and there is want in that. It still shudders and twitches warm and wet around God even though it has expired, and the heart is still twitching in God’s hand. He is please by the twitching and He gifts the heart with His Grace so that the heart may twitch a little longer.

He draws the heart from the slit, and it is dark and quivering and He can see it twitch, and there is so much want in it. Want of the mouth. He touches the heart with His lips and there is want in the touching, God is pleased with the touching of His lips to the twitching heart, and He draws it across His lips again and again until His lips tingle with the want of it. He puts it between His lips and he takes of it and it still twitches in his mouth. He swallows it down and He is pleased by the swallowing and He can feel it warm and twitching in His belly among the cold, writhing things, and there is so much want of the heart in His belly. The rest of the heart He gifts again with His grace so that it might twitch for longer and He takes great tearing bites of it, and swallows it down until all of it is warm and twitching and worshipping Him in His belly among the cold, writhing things. 

God lays a hand to His belly and feels the last of the twitching of the heart. But. There is still want. The body is warming him from within and worshipping him in his belly but there is still want. 

He looks down at the body. It is mindless and cooling. It is still very beautiful, but there is no want in it. He prods the slit with a blood-slick finger, and it gapes limply, nothing but meat. God narrows His eyes. 

If this body did not sate His want… 

He licks blood from His fingers, and He swallows it down. 

Perhaps… perhaps want is only in the real Dean. Perhaps there is no want in this copy-thing. Perhaps God needs to take of the body of the real Dean and swallow it down and keep it in his belly. Not this imitation. 

The real Dean would say “Cas, please” instead of simply whimpering as God filled it, and suddenly there is very much want in that. God is frozen with want. Yes. Want is in the body of the real Dean. He will take of the body of the real Dean and He will fill it and it will worship Him and be His.

But. 

But, if He takes of the real Dean, then it will be in His belly forever. He will take it into Himself and swallow it down but then there will be no more outside of Himself to take in. And the taking and the taking in and the swallowing down pleases God and fills Him with want. There is want of Dean in His belly but also in His throat and in His mouth and in His lips and in His hands. And if Dean is all in His belly then there will be no more Dean to take into His belly.

God bites His knuckles in frustration. There is want of Dean in Him but if He takes of Dean then there will be no more Dean to take even though there will be want of taking. But there is want now!

God waves a hand, and the cold remains of the copy disappear from under Him. He materializes a new one to take its place. He sits astride it, tearing apart the front of its shirt as it struggles, slightly. He bends down, nuzzling His mouth along the hard flesh of its chest, and the soft flesh of its belly. 

Then He reaches up a hand, and teaches it.

Pleading green eyes stare down at Him.

“Cas, please ,” it says. And there is so much want.