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Chapter Text

Milton Keynes, 2017

Smiling, George pressed the doorbell before taking another step back so as not to stand directly in front of the door. It wasn't five seconds before the door opened and Alex grinned at him. Smirking, he glanced at his watch before teasing, "Did you miss me so much to stand guard behind the door?"

His best friend crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe. "You're probably more the one who missed me, after all, it actually takes almost two hours from your house to mine, but you only texted an hour and a half ago that you were on your way," he countered nonchalantly.

He smiled innocently. "Gotcha." Yes, he did exceed the speed limit on the motorway before, but he knew which exits had speed cameras and never got caught. Besides, he never drove a lot too fast, at most 20km/h, and that was only on motorways. He would never do it in cities.

"Well, come on in," the older man urged him and took a step to the side so that he could squeeze past him into the house. He dropped his travel bag on the floor while he took off his shoes. Alex, on the other hand, closed the door and looked at him for a while.

"What time do you have to leave tomorrow?" he finally wanted to know as he reached for his bag again. He sighed softly, "Early, around seven."

For a few months now, he had regularly spent many days with Alex and his family, as he often had to drive for Mercedes in the simulator from early in the morning until late at night. Alex's way there was shorter than his, so he just slept at his place. He was practically part of the family anyway, so he was always welcome.

"Hm." Dissatisfied, Alex shrugged and then ran up the stairs, whereupon he followed him. "Your alarm clock better not be as loud as last time." Warningly, he raised his index finger, which made him laugh.

"Oh come on. The last time I woke up from my alarm clock, you were on top of me sleeping like a baby," he teased him laughing and placed his bag on the bed as they arrived in his room.

From the very beginning, they had slept together in Alex's bed, after all, there was no reason why they shouldn't. Then last time, they had woken up cuddling, which they could only laugh about. They were best friends and it wasn't awkward for them to cuddle or anything. Why should it?

"Ha...ha..." Unimpressed, Alex shook his head but couldn't help grinning. "Maybe you'd better put on some muscle, then you wouldn't be any more comfortable than my pillow."

"Pff...," he went on, holding his hand to his chest in feigned hurt. "You could just admit that you love me and can't survive without being near me."

"Oh yeah, I forgot all about that. George Russell, you are the love of my life, will you finally marry me?" the taller one laughed, at which he jumped in. These little jokes between them just showed how close their friendship was.

Grinning, he nudged his best friend with his shoulder and left the room again to go to the kitchen. After all, he had already noticed the wonderful smell of his favourite food. Alex's mother was an insanely good cook and whenever he came around, she made lasagne for him.

“She loves you more than me,” Alex would always say. Again, they exchanged a knowing glance, then entered the kitchen.

"George!" Minki came towards him smiling and he let her hug him grinning, greeting her properly. After that, he hugged his sisters as well before sharing a handshake with Luca.

"Dinner will be ready soon, why don't you take a seat in the dining room," she said with a shooing motion of her hand. They immediately followed her request and sat down at the already set table.

After dinner, they sat at the table for a while and talked about races and upcoming events until he noticed that Alex was quite tired. He could use a good night's sleep himself, so he turned to Minki with an apologetic smile.

"I think we'll go to bed, after all, I have to get up early tomorrow and Alex won't be spared by my alarm clock," he said, to which Alex immediately gave a grateful sigh.

"Sounds good, I'm tired too," she agreed. Alex's siblings had already gone to bed, so Alex and him cleared the table together.

"Thanks," Alex mumbled as he just put aluminium foil over the rest of the lasagne and then put the dish in the fridge. He looked at him questioningly and continued to put the plates in the dishwasher.

"I didn't sleep well last night and I'm really tired. But if you hadn't interrupted that, we would have been sitting there for hours, so thank you."

Attentively, he tilted his head. "You slept bad? Is there a reason for that?" He inquired empathetically and Alex shrugged.

"Maybe because I couldn't snuggle up to you," the Thai Briton joked and that settled the issue.

A few minutes later they were lying together in his bed with their heads turned towards each other.

"Where do you see yourself in five years?" Alex wanted to know at one point and he laughed lightly as he averted his gaze and stared at the ceiling instead.

"Is this going to be deep talk? If yes, I'm not mentally prepared for that," he smirked but really thought about it for a moment. He knew well enough that Alex wouldn't let him sleep until he gave him an answer.

"Hopefully in Formula One, preferably Mercedes, but mainly Formula One," he finally said thoughtfully. "And of course I hope you'll be there too."

"So gracious of you," he chuckled before becoming more serious again. "And what about a relationship?"

"If something comes up, sure. I won't resist it," he smiled and looked back up at him. "What about you?"

"Formula One sounds good," Alex agreed with him and closed his eyes. "About the relationship, I don't know. Probably similar to you, too. I'm not going to frantically search for the big love, but if it comes...why not?"

"How do you know it's true love?" he wanted to know. After all, it was always possible to be wrong in the end.

Alex shrugged his shoulders and then sighed, "I think you can tell somehow. Maybe not right away in the first week of the relationship, but sooner or later you do."

"Maybe you're right." He closed his eyes and thought about it for a moment. Of course, he had thought about it before, the love of his life. However, it still sounded far too absurd for him to comprehend. Right now, he couldn't imagine being with someone for the rest of his life, which was mainly because he only wanted to focus on his career. A relationship was not part of his career, but the idea was nice somewhere. To have someone who was always there for you, no matter what.

Then he remembered that he already had such people in his friends and family, especially Alex. Sure, he wasn't in a romantic relationship with Alex and never would be, but right now this friendship was all he needed. He didn't want anything more.

When suddenly someone snuggled up to him, he opened his eyes again. Alex rested his head on his chest and put his arms around his waist, which made him smile.

"And what are you going to do now?" He demanded to know but still gently put his arms around him.

"You're right, I slept very well when we cuddled, so I'll do it again," Alex said simply and he couldn't help laughing.

"Well, in that case..." he gave him a quick squeeze before loosening his grip a little again. A friendly gesture to show he had no problem with it. "Sleep well, Alex."

"You too," he murmured into his shirt before they both drifted off.

This was a step into an even closer friendship between the two of them. After that night, when they had actually both slept much better than usual, cuddling became a new routine of them. Every other night he spent with him they slept in the position, as strange as it had been the first time. Over time, it just became a normality that he liked too.

Chapter Text

Melbourne, 17th March, 2019

"Can you believe it? We made it into Formula 1," he muttered to Alex and Lando. As agreed they had met for dinner in the evening and were still sitting together in Lando's room.

The adrenaline was still pumping through his body when he thought about this weekend. Three free practice sessions, qualifying, and finally the race in the highest class of racing. It felt so surreal, so incredibly fake. Of course, they had been preparing for the start of the season the last few months, but this was much more exciting than ever expected. For their first race it was pretty good, he thought, but they would certainly improve over the year.

"I can't believe it either," Lando agreed and let himself fall on the bed. His gaze slid to the ceiling, while a blissful smile adorned his lips.

"It seems to me like it was only yesterday, when you were living with us," Alex teased him and shoved his elbow in his side. Laughing, he rolled his eyes.

"I never lived with you," he then contradicted his best friend. "I slept over a few times, that's all."

"A few times?" Lando repeated skeptically. "Alex told me that you spent almost every day with him back then."

"Well, maybe a little more than a few times," he admitted, grinning. "But I didn't live with you."

"You could have if you wanted to." Alex now gave him an honest smile, which he immediately returned. Of course, he was aware that Alex's family would have more or less adopted him immediately, but he loved it at home and so he was never officially registered with them, even though he had actually spent more time at Alex's house than at his own.

"How are things with your teammates?" He wanted to know and laid down like Lando so that only Alex was sitting. "Do you still like each other after the first race?"

Alex showed Lando with a glance that he should start, which the youngest of them did right away, "Well, Carlos didn't really have the best weekend and he was pretty frustrated today, but I think I was able to cheer him up pretty well. He was happy for me and congratulated me on my debut. It would have been nice if we had scored points for the team today, but that's coming."

He nodded smiling and was glad that Carlos had not taken out his frustration on Lando, after all, he knew how much the young Briton wanted to have a good relationship with his teammate. Especially after preparing for the season, where the two had already got along so well. Lando had often voiced his concerns to Alex and him that bad race results might come between their good relationship, but apparently, they had overcome the first obstacle without a fight, which pleased him.

Lando seemed to be much more relaxed than right after the race, where he had met him during the interviews. He hadn't had talked to Carlos yet and had made it clear to him quite quickly that he had wanted to do it right away.

"Sounds good," Alex said and the youngest nodded.

"I'm pretty happy, too. I never expected to be on the same wavelength with someone so fast, but somehow the chemistry between Carlos and me is very good. It's reassuring to have at least one relationship within the team that always works, no matter how bad a race gets," Lando muttered and couldn't help but smile.

"Today seems to have given you a lot of security," he remarked laughing, but also somewhat sceptical. Lando spoke of Carlos as if he had known him forever, but they had only really known each other for four months. How could he be so sure?

"You know, we spent a lot of time together during pre-season," he explained shrugging his shoulders. "I just feel like I know him well enough by now to know that we will get along very well, no matter what."

"Aha." Alex wiggled his eyebrows and looked at him knowingly. Horrified, Lando replied, "Not like that!"

Of course, he didn't miss the slight blush on his cheeks and when he looked at Alex for a moment, his grin showed him that he had noticed it too, but they both left it uncommented. Lando had always been very shy and such ambiguous remarks made him blush heavily, which didn't necessarily mean anything, even if he spoke very well of Carlos. He probably just wanted to build a friendship with him and it seemed to work. And as long as Lando was happy, Alex and him were happy for him.

"Daniil and I are getting along very well," Alex finally said, before looking at Lando again. "We don't spend as much time together as you and Carlos, but when we talk, we get along."

Internally, he felt really relieved with this statement, which made him wrinkle his forehead. Ever since the pre-season, he had a kind of flat feeling in his stomach when he thought Alex might get along very well with Daniil. At some point, he might have been more and more interested in expanding his friendship with him, so that their own friendship might have come too short. So far, it had always only been Alex and him, so no one could come between them. However, the transition to Formula 1 was also associated with new teammates, more pressure, and less time, they were aware of that. Of course, he was kind of afraid that something - or someone - would come between them.

That it wasn't like that made him feel relieved, but it also made him feel bad. After all, as his best friend, he should want him to get along well with everyone and be happy. On the other hand...he seemed happy like that, too, so he was allowed to enjoy the situation, right?

"George!" This exclamation and the following clapping made him shudder. Shocked, he looked at Lando, who immediately burst into laughter.

"You should have seen the look on your face! What universe were you in?" he wanted to know amused and he sighed quietly.

"I was just thinking, sorry. What were you saying?" He asked again, leaning on his forearms.

"We asked about you and Robert," Alex smiled and leaned over to Lando to give him a push so he would stop laughing.

"Good," he answered honestly. It was interesting to work with Robert, he was experienced and he could learn a lot from him. But apart from racing, they didn't have any contact, which was probably mainly since they were quite different. Robert enjoyed the peace on days off, while he liked to do something, be it with friends, family, or alone. Besides, he lived in Monaco and therefore not close to him. Meetings just didn't happen. Still, he thought highly of the older man.

"Good? Is there anything else coming?" Lando raised an eyebrow and he smiled briefly.

"What do you want to hear from me? Not everyone's like you and Carlos, not everyone makes out with each other after a few months," he teased him.

"We...," he began to defend himself, but then broke off. "Oh, forget it, you won't let it go anyway."

"We're just happy for you, Lando," Alex cheered him up. "You know we're just kidding, and we know you and Carlos are just teammates and not making out, don't worry."

A knock interrupted their conversation and Lando called out, "It's open!"

Immediately the door opened and Carlos' head stuck through the crack. His teammate sat up but seemed a little surprised. "Everything okay, Carlos?"

"Yes, I was just bored." He walked in and closed the door behind him before turning to Alex and him. "Hey, congratulations on your debuts, too."

"Thanks," he said for both of them and got up from the bed. "We were just leaving anyway." Invitingly, he held out his hand to Alex, which he took, pulling him to his feet.

"I'll see you tomorrow then. We'll pick you up," Alex said with a glance at Lando, who merely nodded. They'd all fly back to England tomorrow, and to make Lando not miss the flight, they would pick him up.

"See ya," he smiled and they said goodbye to Carlos before they left the room.

On the hotel floor, they met Max, who came to meet them accompanied by Daniel and Charles. They all greeted each other with a handshake. They knew Max and Charles from the time of karting together, Daniel, on the other hand, was still very unfamiliar to them, but he had been very open and friendly so far.

"Where are you going?"Alex asked in astonishment as he leaned against the wall.

"Pierre invited us to play some video games to kick off the season, some other guys are coming, I think Lance and..." Max stopped and seemed to think. Then he shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know who else is coming, to be honest. But you should come! It'll be fun."

"Sorry, I'm really tired and I'd like to go to sleep," he muttered. As good as the idea sounded, he felt the tiredness in him after the exciting weekend and slowly but surely longed for his bed.

"Understandable. What about you, Alex?" Max turned to him.

"Sounds good to me," his best friend replied after a moment's hesitation. "I'll be right there, okay?"

"You got it." They told him Pierre's room number before they said goodbye again.

"You could have gone right along with them," he smirked as they were alone again, even though he was kind of glad that he wasn't leaving yet so they could say goodbye to each other in peace.

"Someone has to make sure you get to your room safely though, right?" Smiling, he pushed himself away from the wall and they silently continued to his room.

"Thank you for accompanying me," he said when they had arrived and turned to him.

"No problem, sleep well." Alex pulled him into his arms, which immediately made him feel comfortable. Satisfied, he returned the hug.

"Have fun," he mumbled when they had broken the embrace. The elder thanked him, then he turned and disappeared in the direction they had come from.

For a moment, he looked after him before opening his room door with a sigh.

Chapter Text

Milton Keynes, 23rd March, 2019

With a broad grin, he pressed the doorbell and waited for a moment. Finally, he could hear footsteps from the inside, then the door was opened, so he was facing Alex.

"George!" He looked at him overwhelmed. "What are you doing here?"

"Celebrating your birthday, obviously. Happy birthday," he smiled before pulling him tightly into his arms. He automatically returned the hug and buried his face in his shoulder. For quite a while they stayed like this, he gently drove over Alex's back until he finally stepped back.

"Come on in," the freshly baked 23-year-old offered him, which he gladly accepted. He slipped out of his shoes, then put his arm around Alex's shoulder.

"Do you want the present now or later?" He asked him and Alex grinned broadly.

"Why are you even asking? Now, of course!" Alex looked at him in expectation, so he pulled his arm back, smiling, to pull it out of his backpack. He opened the zipper and his fingers grabbed the present, which he handed him.

Alex gratefully accepted it. Before he opened it, however, he ran into the living room, where he followed him. His family sat at the table, which was covered with coffee, tea, and cake. Of course, he had already talked about his appearance with Alex's mother, as it wasn't the last surprise for Alex and he needed her help – or rather approval. And he had also needed his family for the other birthday present.

"Hey," he smiled into the circle, raised his hand to say hello, and then dropped on his regular spot. Over the years he had come here less and less, but his seat at the table was still a habit of them and himself, so the right seat next to Alex always remained free. His best friend would always call it "strange" when he wasn't there and therefore there was a gap at the table, which he said made it "incomplete". Sometimes they even covered for him so it didn't feel so empty, which was incredibly touching.

"How are you, George?" his mother asked him intently, as Alex began to unpack his present. "We haven't seen you in a long time."

"I'm very well. Now that we've finished the first race, I'm not as nervous as before," he confessed, which made her smile.

"Awww, thank you, George. That's wonderful!" Alex then interrupted their short conversation, as he now held the present unpacked in his hands. It was a photo book, from his childhood to today, including a selfie from just last week after the first race of Alex, Lando, and himself. He had asked many friends and his family to send him pictures, so the album filled up pretty quickly.

Enthusiastically, he flipped through a few pages before he stood up and wrapped his arms around his neck from behind. Smiling, he placed his hands on his forearms as Alex placed his head on his.

"I'm glad you like it. Then it was at least worth the effort," he said, which he commented with a nod.

"It's great!" Slowly he withdrew from the embrace, which, for his own liking, could have lasted longer. Alex sat down on the chair next to him again and began to look at the pictures more closely. It was not long before his siblings gathered around him to look at them as well.

For a while, he watched them, especially Alex, with a loving smile. Again and again, forgotten memories seemed to come up, which made them talk about it.

"Do you want a piece of cake?" Minki then ripped him out of his mind, so he turned his gaze away again.

"Yes, please," he smiled, and she gave him a piece, which he started eating right away.

He got caught up in a new conversation with Minki, which was interrupted only when the photo album was passed on to her. While Alex's siblings got into an argument about something, Alex suddenly put a hand on his thigh and gave him a thankful smile before he pulled it back. He briefly returned his smile, ignoring the tingling that his touch left on the spot.

They sat at the table for quite a while before he saw that he slowly had to come to his second surprise.

"Alex and I have plans, so if you'll excuse us...," he grinned as he stood up. Alex glanced at him, but immediately followed the movement.

His mother and siblings only nodded because they knew, of course, which is why he pulled Alex into his room by the wrist.

"Put on something else," he told him, and Alex ran to his closet in surprise. He, on the other hand, sat down on the bed.

"What should I wear?" he demanded to know. He thought for a moment, and then said, "Something that isn't too warm. So, no sweater whatsoever."

"Okay." Alex pulled his sweater over his head before carelessly dropping it on the floor. His gaze landed on his upper body and immediately he got really hot. Holy shit, what was that?

Instantly, he turned away again in order not to lose control of his body. Of course, he couldn't deny that Alex was handsome and well trained, but his own body had never reacted so strongly to his best friend.

"Like that?" Alex finally asked and he looked at him again. He was wearing a short-sleeved shirt, which he had put in his pants. He nodded in agreement. Yeah, that would do.

Alex came back to him and felt his pockets. "I think I've got everything."

Slowly, he straightened up. "No, not everything yet."

"What's missing?" the older man demanded to know, and he ran a hand into his pocket, pulling out a small baggie.

"This." A little nervously, he handed it to him. This gift kind of unsettled him because they had never given each other anything like this before and he had no idea how he would react.

Carefully, Alex reached into the bag and immediately pulled out the bracelet. It was very simple – silver and narrow. However, he couldn't resist when he had seen it, as a racing car was attached as a trailer. He had to think about Alex right back then, which is why he had bought it.

"What do you-" he couldn't get any further, because Alex just threw himself around his neck. Surprised, he pulled him closer to him and enjoyed his closeness.

"You're the best friend I could have ever wished for," he mumbled into his hair and he grinned a little. They remained in the embrace for surely another minute, then he had to untie himself since they had somewhere else to go to.

"Will you help me put it on?" Alex asked him and stretched the bracelet towards him. He gently attached it to his wrist before pulling up the sleeve of his own sweater.

"I have it, too, by the way. From now on, this is our friendship bracelet," he said and Alex just nodded happily.

"Good, let's go." Smiling, he walked down the stairs again. They said goodbye to everyone before he took him to his car. He casually threw his backpack onto the back seat and steered the car onto the road when they were both strapped on.

"Where are we going?" The Toro Rosso driver wanted to know, but he refused to give him an answer. After all, it wouldn't be a surprise anymore if he told him right away.

Sighing, Alex gave up and looked for a good radio station instead. When he had found one, he leaned back and closed his eyes.

Just before they left the highway, he raised his voice, "Have a look in the glove compartment, please."

"Why?" Alex asked but did it right away. His eyes glided towards his best friend for a moment when he discovered the blindfold. "Forget it, George."

"Put it on or we'll go back," he threatened half for fun, half-seriously. Humming, the older one pulled it over his eyes and crossed his arms playfully.

Smiling, he took advantage of the next descent, before without thinking, he laid his hand on Alex's thigh. "Don't pout. You'll find out soon enough where we're going."

As he was about to withdraw his hand, Alex grabbed it and crossed their fingers. A little surprised by this action, he let it rest there. If he preferred it, then he would not deny him that wish.

Less than twenty minutes later, they finally arrived at his destination. He freed his hand of Alex's to get out and run around the car. Alex had meanwhile managed to get out on his own as well. He locked the car, then grabbed his two hands. 

"Where are we?" Alex asked uncertainly and he just laughed, "You will find out in a minute."

He was satisfied with that and let him guide him to the building he had rented for tonight. Actually, it was a kind of youth home, but he was able to persuade the owners that they would get it for today.

Arriving in the main room, he let go of Alex's hand and stood behind him instead. Meanwhile, he placed his hands on his shoulders. "Okay, you can take off the blindfold now."

He immediately pulled it down and was greeted by a loud "surprise!". Overwhelmed, he looked towards all his friends, who had found time to come here today. It wasn't easy, but he was glad that he had managed to organise everything.

"Wow," Alex finally said, and he dropped his hands so that everyone could congratulate him. After that, when someone started playing music, the evening took its course.

Hopefully, he had managed to give his best friend a birthday he wouldn't forget so soon.

Chapter Text

Bahrain, 31st March, 2019

As soon as he had parked his car in parc fermé and got out, he also scanned the surroundings for Lando and Alex. Both had finished the race within the points and he felt pure pride in his chest for his two friends. On the other hand, it had a bit of a bitter aftertaste.

Although he had become P15 today, he was aware that under normal circumstances it was difficult to reach such a position with his car. He guessed it would take him a while to get his first points, but he came to terms with it. Of course, it would be nice to have a better chance, but he was already living his childhood dream. Even if it would take him a few more years to possibly drive for Mercedes, he would be patient and take advantage of the opportunities he had.

His eyes now found Lando and he rushed over to him before he could get out of his sight again.

"Lando!" He shouted as he took off his helmet. The younger one turned to him and a happy grin spread across his lips.

Arriving at the other's car, he gave him a quick hug. "Congratulations on P6. I didn't see much of your race, but I'm pretty sure you drove great," he muttered and Lando laughed lightly.

"Thank you, George. You weren't bad either. I'm sure you'll also get your first points soon," he grinned and smacked him in a friendly manner. He just shrugged his shoulders in response.

"Have you seen Alex?" He asked him now and looked around once more, but couldn't find him anywhere.

"No," he replied. "Maybe he's already at the interviews."

"Maybe," he gave back and one after the other they weighed themselves before walking to the interviews together. There, he saw Alex from afar but didn't want to interrupt his interview, so he turned to the reporters himself. Lando patted him on the shoulder and kept following his press manager.

After he had finished his interviews, he wanted to go to his motorhome. However, Alex waved him over, who had meanwhile finished his interview and seemed to be waiting for him. So his original plan was thrown out again, his team could wait a few more minutes. Instead, he made his way to him and was pulled into a warm embrace.

"Hey. Everything all right with you?" Alex gently wanted to know when they had separated again.

"Sure, everything's fine," he smiled. "I've already spoken to Lando, but congratulations to you too on your first points."

"Your first points are coming soon, don't worry." Lightly, he punched him in the shoulder before they left the media area.

"Are we still meeting up later?" He asked to be on the safe side and Alex nodded immediately.

"Sure, I'll be there."

They had agreed with Charles, Max, and Lando to meet up on the hotel rooftop tonight for a few drinks and conversations.

"What are we betting that Lando either won't come because he's with Carlos, or he'll bring Carlos?" Alex grinned wide and he had to laugh.

"I'm certainly not going to bet against it," he joined. Lando probably made it his personal task to put Carlos in a better mood after his next bad race. He should bring him, after all, the Spaniard was very nice. Besides, they preferred one person joining over one person missing.

They continued talking about the race until they arrived at Alex's motorhome and he said goodbye. Meanwhile, he went on to his own motorhome to finish the team briefing, hoping it wouldn't last too long.

His cell phone showed 8:12pm when he was climbing up the stairs to the hotel roof. He was a little late but blamed it on room service, which had taken rather long for his dinner. Well, the others would certainly forgive him for being 12 minutes late.

On the way back to the hotel he had stopped at a kiosk and bought a six-pack of beer, which he now held in his left hand. With the right one, he opened the heavy door that led to the roof. The cool evening breeze blew towards him, which his body immediately commented with goosebumps.

He looked around and already discovered the silhouettes of the others who were sitting on the small benches that were up here.

"Look who's finally made it," Charles rebuked as soon as he walked up to them.

"It's the room service's fault," he said and immediately everyone contradicted him.

"Even if room service wasn't available, you would have been late," Alex grinned at him.

"Not at all." He dropped onto the free space next to him and put the six-pack down. "I brought beer tho."

"At least something," Max muttered, already holding another bottle in his hand. He looked around once to be able to decipher his friends in the dark.

Charles shared a bench with Pierre and both had a bottle in their hands. He guessed it was some other beer. So Charles had brought his best friend with him. The more the merrier, right?

Max had spread out on his bench that it would not be possible to sit next to him. His gaze fell on Lando, who really was accompanied by Carlos. The two seemed to be so engaged in a conversation that he doubted that they had even noticed his arrival. In addition to the fact that they were already so close to each other that no sheet could fit between them, they also shared a blanket. Smiling, he shook his head, unbelievable.

On the small table in the middle, there were a small lamp and several bottles of beer. Immediately, he recognised it as the beer that the others drank. Next to it were a bottle opener and several blankets.

He turned his attention to Max, Charles, and Pierre again now and asked, "How did the race go for you?"

While the conversation was going on, he grabbed a beer bottle himself and opened it. They toasted to the evening together before they just continued talking.

Eventually, he noticed Alex pulling his legs to his chest and wrapping his arms tightly around them. He rolled his eyes grinning before leaning over to the table to get a blanket.

"You're making life unnecessarily difficult for yourself," he said as he handed it to him. Gratefully, Alex wrapped the blanket and leaned on his shortly afterwards, so he would put an arm around him. For the others, it was normal for Alex and him to cuddle anyway, after all, they did it a lot.

Another new couple of friends seemed to have taken a liking to cuddling too, he noticed when he saw Lando's head resting on Carlos' chest. The Briton seemed to be asleep, while the Spaniard ran through his hair and quietly talked with Max.

"The two lovebirds," he giggled softly to Alex, who followed his gaze.

"Oh, man. They are almost as friendship goals as we are," Alex laughed and he looked at him in a playful state of shock.

"No one will ever be as goals as we are," he immediately contradicted him, which only magnified his grin.

"Of course not, how could I have come up with such an absurd idea?"

With a smile, he fished his phone out of his pocket and opened the camera to take a picture of Carlos and Lando. Unfortunately, he had to turn on the lightning, because otherwise, you wouldn't have seen anything through the darkness.

Immediately, the older man grinned at the camera, while Lando hid his head deeper in his teammate's sweater.

"Cute," he said as he looked at the photo.

"Jealous?" Sneaking, Alex raised his eyebrows.

"Why would I? I've got you, that's at least as good," he replied and locked his phone again.

It was not long before Carlos finally decided for himself and Lando that it was time to leave. Lando was no longer able to absorb anything and Carlos seemed tired as well. Since each of them knew how difficult it was to get Lando out of his sleep, the elder carried him to his room.

Shortly after, Charles and Pierre also said goodbye, so that only Max, Alex, and him were sitting in the light.

"And here we are. All in Formula 1," Max grinned at them. "It's nice that you finally made it."

"You've been so arrogant since you started driving at Red Bull," Alex remarked skeptically, if only for fun. The Dutchman ram through his hair smiling.

"What shall I say? Being the best young driver on the grid, you also have to be confident," he continued.

"Best young driver, who are you kidding?" He also got involved. "Give me your car and I'll beat you up."

"Keep dreaming." He tapped his forehead with his index finger and shook his head.

For quite a while they just sat on the roof, until they left it together and walked to their hotel rooms. Max's room was first, so Alex and him were soon alone.

He accompanied Alex to his room, where his best friend opened the door with the card. He hesitantly turned to him and bit his lip.

"Can you sleep in my room today?" The Thai Briton asked him uncertainly, which made him smile.

"Sure, no problem." He followed him into his room and within ten minutes they were cuddling on his bed.

"Sleep well, Alex," he muttered as he gently drove through his hair.

"You too," he replied quietly. A few minutes later, Alex's regular breath showed him that he was asleep. Calmed down by his warmth, he drifted off as well.

Chapter Text

Bahrain, 1st April, 2019

"I don't remember anything from yesterday," Lando yawned as he settled down in their private plane to England.

"That's because there's nothing you could remember. You just talked to Carlos and then fell asleep," he smiled, stowing his backpack over the seats before he squeezed himself past Alex to get to his beloved window seat. He climbed over his best friend with one leg, even though he would have had enough room not to. Sometimes it was fun to annoy your friends.

Laughing, the Thai Briton pushed him in the right direction. "God, you're such an idiot. Now sit down, would you?"

With a smile on his lips, he dropped on the seat and looked out for a moment, but the view of the airport was not really exciting, so he turned to Carlos, who accompanied them back to England today.

"Can you send me yesterday's photo?" the Spaniard asked him and he nodded immediately.

"Sure." He pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened the gallery to find the photo.

"Which photo?" Lando wanted to know confusedly. Alex, Carlos, and him shared a knowing look, which only confused him even more.

"Guys, which photo?" he repeated in a more serious voice, but they remained silent. In the meantime, he sent Carlos the photo.

"Thank you," he commented and typed on his phone.

"Carlos!" All joking was now gone from Lando's voice as he leaned over to his teammate to take a look at his phone. He quickly reacted and turned away from him.

"That's not fair!" Lando complained. "Show me the photo!"

"Is the baby getting mad now?" He teased him amused and raised an eyebrow. Lando looked at him with a burning glance before he extended his hand in Carlos' direction.

The Spaniard looked at Lando's hand, then at his cell phone, and finally at Lando's face. With an innocent smile, he put his hand in Lando's, whereupon Alex and him burst into laughter.

Of course, the young Briton actually wanted to have Carlos' cell phone and not his hand, so he massively blushed and withdrew his own hand. Instead, he crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Oh, fuck you," he only muttered offended.

His eyes slid towards Carlos, who watched him with a loving smile. His eyes radiated so much affection that he wondered how Lando hadn't noticed. Then again...it was Lando. He guessed it would take him a while to understand why Carlos looked at him like that.

"I'm sure Carlos would like to come back at your request," he commented on his statement. Now it was the older one who gave him an angry look.

Alex next to him shook his head and sighed, "I think that's enough, George."

He took his phone from his hand and unlocked it. Alex was the only one who knew his password. Because of their long friendship, he didn't have to hide anything from him or feel insecure that he read private messages when he used his phone. He could just trust him not to fuck up.

He opened the photo again and then reached out to Lando so he could take it. Briefly, he wanted to protest but left it under the warning gaze of his best friend.

When Lando saw the photo, he blushed again and bit his lip. He gave him the phone back, while his gaze always avoided Carlos, for which George could curse him, but on the other hand, he didn't want to say anything more. If he had seen Carlos' loving smile, he might not have been so embarrassed. At least he was sure that the Spaniard had enjoyed being so close to Lando yesterday.

The plane started to move at some point, so he put his headphones in his ears and looked out the window again. Meanwhile, Alex laid his head on his shoulder. He looked down at him briefly, his eyes were almost closed and his breath was flat.

Of course, he knew that Alex suffered from a slight fear of flying and then liked to look for protection from other people. He turned his hand upside down so that the palm of his hand was pointing upwards and the back of his hand was on his leg. Like that, he allowed him to reach out to it when he needed it.

In fact, it took only a few seconds for Alex to put his hand in his and he intertwined their fingers. For a moment, he squeezed his fingers, then he put his head on his. Again, he looked outside, as the plane was taking off.

Alex got a little tense and pressed his hand harder, so he gently ran his thumb over the back of his hand. After a while, it seemed to work and he relaxed noticeably.

Again, he turned his head slightly so he could look at him. He had buried his face in the crook of his neck and his eyes were now completely closed. He looked so incredibly innocent and sweet that it made his heart beat faster.

But then he thought of the better and turned his gaze away from him. Instead, it fell on Lando. He had placed his legs on Carlos' lap as he had headphones in his ears and watched his laptop resting on his legs. He probably watched a show. Carlos was on his cell phone and took a look outside every now and then.

He now followed his example and watched the passing clouds before the music from his headphones seemed more and more distant and the darkness enveloped him.

He woke up when his head suddenly felt like it slipped into nothingness. Immediately, he was wide awake and straightened up confused. What had just happened?

Sleepy, he blinked and recognized Alex, and Lando, who were looking at him with a smile. Both were standing in the narrow passageway, which also led to the door outside.

"What the hell?" He muttered still in a rough voice and ran through his face. Alex had to have just got up, so his head had no support anymore.

"Good morning, sweetheart," Lando greeted him as he shoved his backpack. Alex frowned at his words and gave him an indefinable look. Carlos also didn't seem to be happy with his choice of words.

"I hope you slept well, but we're here, so get up!" the Brit asked him and clapped his hands.

He simply grimaced. "Okay, no need to make such a fuss," he grumbled and slowly got up before taking his backpack like Lando. The four of them left the plane and were taken by a small shuttle bus to the airport.

"Home Sweet Home," Lando sighed happily as they left the airport and took a deep breath with his eyes closed. Carlos watched his action and began to grin before opening his mouth to say something. However, he seemed to choose not to say it out loud. Instead, he leaned to Lando's ear and whispered something to him that made him swallow easily. Blushing, he looked at his teammate, who still grinned broadly.

"We should go," Lando cleared his throat in embarrassment and turned to Alex and him. The two of them had to go to their MTC more often the next week, so they just slept together at Lando's.

He nodded in agreement and they said goodbye to them before they went to a taxi.

"What the hell?!" He immediately turned to the older man in shock. "What was that about?"

"I don't know," Alex muttered, shrugging his shoulders, and seemed as confused as he was. "Whatever Carlos whispered to him, it definitely made him very interested."

"Yeah, he wanted to leave very badly," he remarked, scrunching his nose. "I really don't want to imagine what he might have said."

"Do you think they are dating each other?" Alex turned his head and pulled his suitcase behind him when they were also looking for a taxi. He would sleep at Alex's family's tonight before he went to see his parents tomorrow.

"I could imagine...but wouldn't Lando have told us about it?" He doubted.

"He probably would," Alex agreed, sighing. "We need to talk to him the next time we see him."

"But seriously, did you see the way Carlos looks at him?" He laughed. "If they aren't dating: How could Lando not have noticed?"

"I don't know," the Toro Rosso driver giggled and headed straight for a taxi. "Even a blind man would have seen it by now."

Grinning, he nodded. They spoke briefly with the taxi driver and stowed their luggage in the trunk before getting in and leaving.

Like that, a really confusing day came to an end.

Chapter Text

Shanghai, 13th April, 2019

He was just about to start his last flying lap in FP3 when his race engineer called him back.

"Yellow flag in the last sector, get into the pits," he told him and so he drove back to the pit lane.

"What happened?" He asked as he discovered all the smoke to his left, drifting from the track to the pit lane. Somebody must have had an accident and an unpleasant feeling came over him. It could only have been two people because only two were directly in front of him that they could be considered. On the one hand, it was a Haas, he thought it was Kevin, and on the other it was Alex. However, the Haas had been in his field of vision when his race engineer had contacted him. The unfortunate feeling grew bigger and bigger.

"Albon crashed," his guess was now confirmed and immediately, he felt sick. "Red flag, practice is over."

He didn't really notice this last piece of information anymore, but just drove bluntly into the pit, where his mechanics were waiting for him.

He jumped out of the car as soon as he had stopped and looked around for someone who might know something about Alex.

"I'll be right back", he said frantically to the next best person before heading towards his team's command post. His steps led him to the grating that separated it from the track and his gaze slid to the left. There, you could see Alex's car, completely destroyed, and there were individual parts scattered over the track. Did he get out of the car or was he still in it?

"Oh, shit...," he said in shock. Thousands of different questions were circling in his head, but one got through: Was he okay?

"George!" A voice tore him out of his worries and with a heavy heart, he turned his gaze away from the accident site to look for the owner of the voice. He finally found him in Lando. His facial features showed just as much as his own pure shock. The younger one came to a stop in front of him and looked past him at the track for a moment.

"Do you know anything about his condition?" He asked his friend almost desperately. Inside, he prayed that he would give him the thumbs-up.

"Yes, I was in the pits anyway and saw the crash on the monitors. He's fine and being taken to the Medical Center," he reassured him, and he would have liked to have fallen around his neck. Pure relief spread through him as he released a breath of air.

"Shit, I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life," he breathed and ran through his face. "What exactly happened?"

"He got on the grass and then lost control before he hit the barriers," Lando explained, re-enacting the events with his hands. "Just be glad you didn't have to see the crash live."

"I would rather see it live than not receiving any information," he contradicted him. "I had no idea what had happened."

He forced himself to take a deep breath so he wouldn't completely lose his temper. "I'll go to his motorhome and wait for him there. Will you come with me?" He looked at Lando in question, who sighed heavily.

"I have another meeting in a minute," he muttered. "But I'll come by as soon as it's finished."

"Alright, I'll see you later," he agreed, before inspecting the command post. He immediately found the person he was looking for. He said goodbye to Lando with a simple wave before going to Claire, who was talking to some of the staff.

"Claire?" He interrupted her conversation and his team manager looked at him in question. "I'd like to go check on Alex. Is that all right?"

"Sure, do that," she smiled softly before casting a glance at the clock. "We have a meeting in 45 minutes, so you should be back by then."

"I will," he promised her right away. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

She didn't have a chance to answer him anymore, because he just disappeared. He was already running through his box and the paddock, until he was standing in front of the RedBull and thus also Toro Rosso Motorhome. He took a quick breath, then entered it. A few staff members noticed him, but of course, they knew why he was here. After all, it was no secret that Alex and him were good friends.

"Alex is still at the Medical Center, but he'll be here soon," a young woman told him without him having to say anything first. "Wait in his room. First floor, first door on the right." She pointed towards a staircase.

He thanked her nicely and followed the description. The sign next to the door said 'Alexander Albon', so this had to be the right place. He opened the door and stepped inside before it fell back into the lock behind him. Nervously, he took a seat on the small couch. His gaze slipped to the clock on the wall. He had almost 35 minutes left before he had to be back with his team, hopefully, that was enough.

However, it took much longer than expected for the door to finally open. Hopefully, he looked to the door frame in which Alex was standing now.

"Hey," Alex smiled tiredly at him, and immediately he was on his feet. "What are you doing here?"

"Are you kidding me? I was worried sick about you!" He said as he slowly walked towards him. "How are you?"

"Good, so far." He shrugged slightly. "The car won't be repaired until Quali, so I won't get to race today. I hope they can make it by tomorrow."

"I'm sure they will," he encouraged him. The images of the accident came back up and he suppressed a few tears. "Fuck, I was really scared that something bad had happened to you. I would have loved to run to your car to finally know if you were okay," he admitted quietly, looking down at the ground.

Sighing, Alex pulled him into his arms and immediately he pressed his best friend close. Being able to feel his closeness now was better than anything else in this world.

"Don't worry," he murmured into his hair. "I won't leave you alone so soon. Someone has to compete with you if you want to win the world title with Mercedes in a few years."

A burst of slight laughter escaped his lips and he stepped back to look at him again. "I'm really glad nothing worse happened to you."

"So am I, believe me. There's still so much I want to do," he sighed and sat down on the sofa.

"And that would be?" He asked him tensely.

"Winning races, family trips, spending time with my friends," he listed with the help of his fingers until a smirk crept onto his lips. "Dating a man."

Stunned, he shook his head. "Stop joking...Please be serious, the situation is not for joking right now."

"I am serious!" Alex insisted. "I want to give it a try. Maybe it changes my life and I realize that men are better than women."

For a moment, he looked at him silently and couldn't deny that his heart beat faster because of this statement. Some new feeling was spreading inside of him...Hope? Why did he feel hope springing up in him after these words?

"Why are you looking like that? Wouldn't you be my best friend anymore?" Alex checked and he snorted offended.

"Excuse me? What do you think of me?" He complained. "Of course I'd still be your best friend, don't talk nonsense!"

"That's all right," he smiled slightly and raised his arms in defence. "You just looked so...weird."

"I didn't," he muttered. Alex grinned before he tackled a new topic, "Do we want to have lunch with Lando after qualifying?"

"Yeah, sounds good."

As it turned out later, Lando didn't find time for them, since he was already meeting Carlos. But Alex and him still had a nice evening together, where they deepened their thoughts about Landos and Carlos' possible relationship. The accident was almost forgotten again, but only almost.

Late in the evening he laid in his hotel bed and let the day pass by. When he thought about the accident, his heart contracted painfully. It showed how quickly something life-changing could happen. A life without Alex was unimaginable to him and he never wanted to lose him, he would give anything for it. His thoughts drifted to all the touches that they kept exchanging and that always left a tingling in his stomach. And the reaction of his body when Alex was talking about a relationship with a man...

A new realisation shook him. Could it be that he just fell in love with Alex? No, he was sure it was only because of the situation today, that he felt that way. Right now, he was just too tired to have a clear idea.

A little calmed down by that thought, he closed his eyes and drifted off.

Chapter Text

Woking, 20th April, 2019

"What do you want to drink?" Lando shouted from the kitchen as he sat down on his couch.

"Just water!" He gave him his answer and grabbed the remote control to start the TV. They had decided to play some video games together today, as they both had been given time off from their teams for the day. Alex, however, had to spend his time in the simulator, which is why he couldn't come. Adding to that, Carlos was - in contrast to Lando - in the MTC, otherwise, Lando wouldn't have had time anyway. It was even harder to break him free from Carlos last week than all the months before.

Almost a minute later, the younger one came back with two glasses and a water bottle, as well as several bags of crisps under his arm. He dropped himself next to him and put everything on the table.

"Oh, our coaches can't know about that," he grinned.

"Don't worry, nobody will ever know except us," Lando replied, pouring water to both of them. "Furthermore, the water neutralises the calories."

"Of course it does," he said ironically, which his friend commented with a grin.

"Do you wanna play FIFA?" Lando gave him a questioning look, and he just nodded.

"Sure, why not?" So they started gambling and had a really nice afternoon until suddenly the front door slammed shut.

Alarmed, Lando sat up and he gave him a questioning look, after all, he seemed to know exactly who was coming.

"Do you have a roommate lately that you haven't told us about?"

"No, I-," he began, but was interrupted by a male voice, "Surprise, babe!"

Immediately, he became audacious when he recognized Carlos' voice. Did he just call him "babe"? Okay, what the hell did he miss?

His unbelieving gaze now slid towards Lando, who shook his head slightly and then buried it in his hands.

"Babe?" Carlos repeated as steps approached the living room. He could have bet that Lando shuddered slightly under his words. More and more he had the feeling that he was in the wrong movie.

He looked at the door frame in which the Spaniard appeared shortly after. When he spotted him, he stopped right away. "George..."

"Carlos," he replied, pulling his eyebrows up. Lando made a desperate sound. The elder now turned to him with an enticing glance.

"Uhm..." Lando scratched his head in embarrassment, which he slowly lifted out of his hands. "Yeah, so this is a thing between us-"

He didn't get any further, because he interrupted him, "Don't even try. You can't talk yourself out of this now." As a warning, he raised his index finger and could not resist a slight smile. "So, how am I supposed to understand the 'babe'? You guys are dating? You haven't settled down yet? Or do you sleep together regularly as 'friends', but haven't noticed that you're more than just friends yet?" He deliberately put the “friends” in quotation marks, as it was clear that the two were not just friends.

The teammates exchanged a glance that confirmed exactly this point of view. 

Nevertheless, Lando started to defend himself, "In fact, we don't sleep together."

"Well...," Carlos muttered more subconsciously, which made him look at the Spaniard interested.

"Aha?" He asked, grinning even wider than before. "Looks like Baby Lando isn't such a baby anymore."

"We haven't slept together yet!" he said in a firm voice, but his head had turned bright red again. He looked at him thoughtfully, until he suddenly understood the debate and scrunched his face. Okay, he didn't want to know that exactly.

"Depending on what you count as ‘sleeping together’," said his boyfriend – he just assumed they were in a relationship now – and the Briton threw his hands in the air.

"I'm certainly not going to argue with you about what counts as 'sleeping together'!" he muttered. "I don't think anything we've done is real sex."

"I do," he was immediately contradicted. Meanwhile, he moaned, "Boys! I'm not that interested in your sex life."

The Spaniard, smiling, went to the sofa and dropped himself next to Lando, who scolded him. "You could've just shut your mouth."

"He could have, but then I wouldn't have had so much to tell Alex later," he laughed slightly because Alex would certainly not be spared from all this. He just had to share this knowledge with him.

As Lando turned to him in fright, Carlos entered his laughter. "You're not going to tell Alex about this!"

"Of course I'll tell him about it. He deserves to know and would never judge you," he reassured him.

Now, Carlos stepped in, too. He put an arm around Lando and got his attention like that. "Look at it this way: It won't happen that often Alex isn't at our meetings. So if he knows, we don't have to pretend." He put his free hand to his chin and then connected their lips to a short kiss.

When they broke away, Lando seemed a lot more relaxed and also muttered a quiet approval before he snuggled up closer to him.

He looked at them with a slight smile. He was very happy for Lando that he had found someone he could love in Carlos. However, at the same time, he was overwhelmed by a depressing feeling, because he envied them for the relationship they had.

He himself wanted someone who loved him unconditionally, sought his closeness, and made him happy. And as much as he was reluctant to do it, he knew he already had someone in mind who was going to be that person. Deep down, he knew he wanted Alex, no one else. His body had been aware of this for a long time, which reacted so differently to his touches in recent months than before. And yes, of course, it was a new feeling and it scared him, too, but he couldn't deny that it was somehow beautiful.

He took another look at the couple. Lando had meanwhile wrapped his arms around Carlos' neck and buried his head in the crook of it. It was a brand new picture that he received from the younger one. Not only did Carlos manage to persuade the otherwise so stubborn Lando with just one kiss, the smaller one was a lot more touchy than he knew him. Of course, it was not the first time he had noticed it regarding Carlos, but it was still a bit unusual. Sooner or later he would get used to it though.

He spent several more hours at their place before he made his way back home. As soon as he was on the highway, he called Alex over the car speaker.

"George?" The Thai Briton immediately announced. "Everything okay?"

"No, nothing's okay," he answered immediately. "Carlos and Lando are dating!"

"What?!" The shock in his voice could not be overheard, but then he sighed, "Of course they are. We kinda were already aware of that before."

"Yes, but not officially. Carlos came by earlier when I was at Lando's, but he didn't know I was there," he started to tell him about the day and leaned deeper into his car seat. "In any case, he called Lando “Babe”, and then they couldn't hide anything from me. As if it wasn't enough that they already took off their clothes with their eyes, they also discussed their sex life."

Alex laughed slightly at the part. "What is there to discuss?"

"Well, according to Lando, they didn't have sex, according to Carlos, they did. So you can imagine what they were discussing about," he muttered and Alex's laughter grew louder.

"Well, thank you very much, actually I'm not so keen on imagining Lando and Carlos during...some...sexual activities," he finally complained.

"Believe me when I tell you I could have survived without it, too. Too much information, thank you very much. But shared suffering is better."

"Of course it is," he grumbled ironically. "How long did you have to watch that disaster?"

"A few hours, but they weren't that bad. Sure, there were some kisses, but they're freshly in love. I'm not angry with them," he smiled and glanced back before changing lane.

"Well, at least something. Well, I have to go now, I am spontaneously meeting up with Jack," Alex then apologized, which made him frown.

"Jack Aitken?" He chucked up confusedly. His F2 team-mate from last year and Alex had already got along well then, but they had never spent any time together, only exchanged a few words when Alex had picked him up at his room and then had run into him.

"Yep, he's here in Milton Keynes today and he asked me if I could show him around the city," Alex said, and he could see his shoulder shrug in front of his inner eye.

"Okay...," he muttered, trying to ignore the feeling of jealousy. Not only did his old teammate have to ask Alex of all people, no. His best friend had also suddenly spontaneously had time for him after he had cancelled him and Lando.

"Then have fun with him," he said with a heavy heart because he surely didn't mean those words at all.

"Thank you, I'll see you." He had ended the call before he could reply anything.

In a much worse mood than before, he continued to concentrate on the road. He just wanted to go to bed and sleep.

Chapter Text

Baku, 25th April, 2019

He had just walked the track with his engineers and was actually going back to the motorhome when a loud 'George!' sounded behind them. Immediately, he recognised Alex's voice, which made him smile.

The older one jogged towards their small group, a little further behind him on the track he could still spot his engineers. He now also detached himself from the staff to accommodate him. With a broad grin, Alex threw himself into his arms, which elicited a slight laugh.

"Hey," he whispered, pulling Alex closer to him.

"Hey, Georgie." His one hand ran into his hair and remained there for a moment before he backed away. With a gentle smile, his best friend looked at him. "How have you been the last two weeks?"

After he had got this one day off, which he had spent with Lando and later Carlos as well, his team didn't give him any more free time, so he hadn't seen Alex for almost two weeks now. So it felt all the better to have him around him again.

"Alright," he said shrugging his shoulders. "It was a bit boring, but it was okay. What about you?"

"Good. Jack stayed with us a few days longer, which was pretty nice," he told him and then looked at the track. "Do you have time for another track walk? Just the two of us?"

He hesitantly looked at his engineers, who seemed to be waiting for him. On the one hand, he wanted to do another track walk with Alex, on the other hand, he knew there was still a bit of work to be done. Besides, he didn't want to deny that it hurt that Jack had stayed over with him even longer and that he had been playing his part.

Finally, torn back and forth, he sighed, "Okay, I'll ask, wait a second." He ran back to the others and scratched his head in embarrassment. "Do you mind if I do another track walk with Alex? After that, I'll get straight to all the interviews."

"Alright," his race engineer gave him permission. "But hurry."

He thanked him with a smile before joining Alex again, who was also talking to his engineers, who had now caught up with him.

"Okay, let's go," he told the Thai Briton, who nodded happily. They said goodbye to the staff of his team and went on together.

"So, Lando and Carlos, huh?" Alex smiled at some point after they had just walked silently side by side for quite a while.

"Lando and Carlos," he confirmed with a slight smile. "You have to see them together. It's so cute that they're both so happy."

"We can pay them a surprise visit later. Then there's a very good chance we'll catch them at the right moment," Alex grinned and he shook his head.

"I don't want a picture that I would never get out of my head again," he contradicted him. He didn't mind Lando and Carlos kissing or cuddling, on the contrary. As he had said, he thought it was cute. However, he didn't want to catch them  during a make-out session or any other obvious activity.

"Come on, they won't be making out in the motorhome when someone could come in and see them at any time." The older one raised an eyebrow and seemed unable to share his concerns. "We're going to catch them kissing if anything, and that's nothing you haven't seen before."

"If we go visit them, we're going to let them know beforehand," he decided said in a firm voice that would not allow any further discussion.

"Alright," Alex agreed with him and looked forward.

"Alex?" He hesitantly changed the subject, which is why he gave him a questioning look. "What's going on between you and Jack?"

That was probably the question on which he feared the answer the most. He didn't want Alex to date someone else until he had had a chance to tell him how he felt, because that's what he wanted. Maybe not right now, because he wanted to be clean with himself first, but eventually he would, and then, of course, it would be handy if Alex wasn't in a relationship with someone else.

"No," he said after a while and he really had to hold back a relieved breath. "I wouldn't even say that we're friends, really. We actually just spent time together for the first time ever. Sure, it was nice, but we don't have anything going on."

"Good," he mumbled more to himself, but Alex had heard it. With a smile, he turned to him and laughed slightly, "Don't worry, Georgie, you're still the only one in my life I love more than anything else. After all, I even proposed to you a few years ago. Just because I said I wanted to date a man doesn't mean I'm going after everyone. I haven't only started thinking about that since my accident in China. You don't have to get jealous."

"Yes, understood," he whispered embarrassed, and lowered his gaze. Of course, it was uncomfortable that he immediately recognized what was behind his remark. Then again: What else did he expect? No one knew him as well as Alex did.

He was ripped out of his mind when Alex suddenly grabbed his hand and clasped their fingers together. Surprised, he glanced at their hands, but couldn't help but smile. This was different from cuddling in bed at night or holding hands on the plane when he was trying to calm Alex down. They had never done it like this before and it made his heart beat faster. Especially when you consider that theoretically everyone could see them, after all, Baku was a street race. The fact that he still wanted to hold his hand made him fucking happy.

After some time they got back to the pitlane, which is why they then disconnected their hands from each other.

"Where do you have to go?" Alex asked attentively and he glanced at his phone.

"I have an interview right away and then a team meeting," he said.

"Well. I've been through all this. They always want to catch the superstar as early as possible in the interviews," he replied with a playful arrogant smile, which made him laugh.

"Last but not least," he replied to his comment and Alex shrugged his shoulders.

"Yeah, keep dreaming! I'll pick you up at your motorhome and we'll look for the new couple, yeah?"

"Okay," he smiled, without taking his words seriously.

Alex said goodbye to him and he made his way to the paddock to finish his appointments.

With his mobile phone in his hand, he was about to leave his motorhome when a voice stopped him, "Where are you going, handsome?"

He turned around and looked for Alex, who he finally found on one of the armchairs in the entrance area. Slowly he straightened up and came towards him.

"I told you I'd pick you up," he reminded him and raised an eyebrow. "Where exactly were you going?"

"Uhm, pick you up?" He hesitantly suggested to find a good excuse for not waiting. To be honest, though, he just didn't expect him to be really serious about his plan. He thought he was just kidding.

"Yeah, sure," he grinned. "Let's go to Lando, I've told him."

He just nodded and followed him out without a word. He was seriously just going to see Carlos and Lando to see them as a couple?

Together they entered the McLaren motorhome and had a staff member describe the way to Lando's room, where the two drivers apparently wanted to discuss something.

"Well, let's interrupt their 'meeting'." Alex put the 'meeting' in quotation marks in his sentence and gave him a knowing look.

When they arrived at the described room, Alex opened the door without knocking, which they immediately regretted. Lando was sitting on Carlos' lap and had his hands buried in his hair. His eyes were closed while he thrown his head back. And what about Carlos? Well, Carlos seemed to enjoy covering Lando's neck with kisses. Besides, his hands were on his boyfriend's ass. Both of them didn't really seem to have noticed their presence yet.

He scrunched his nose and turned to his best friend. "You said you told Lando!"

"I really didn't think they would make out in the motorhome!" he began to defend himself.

Now the couple was also scared apart, whereby Lando escaped an annoyed sigh. "Can you at least close the door if you show up unannounced?" he muttered.

He immediately pushed Alex completely into the room before closing the door behind them. "I thought he had told you!"

"Mhm." In a bad mood, he slipped from Carlos' lap and ran through his face.

"A little advice: if you get so...oblivious by making out that you don't even notice when someone comes into the room, you should either move it back to the hotel or lock the door," Alex remarked with a smile. "Otherwise, your relationship won't be a secret for long."

"And that one," he added, pointing to the obvious hickeys on the younger man's throat. "-you should also avoid it."

Carlos couldn't help but grin and put a hand on Lando's throat to gently drive over it with his thumb. Lando probably reacted immediately to the touch rather unconsciously and turned his head slightly to the side, thereby exposing the spots even further. Then he seemed to realize this move and pushed Carlos' hand away.

"I don't know," the Spaniard remarked sceptically. "I think I did a good job."

Alex snorted amused and Lando just looked more dissatisfied than before.

"Dickhead. Why do you always have to fuck us up even more?" he complained to his boyfriend, who just shrugged his shoulders innocently, before he replied, "You're so cute when you pout. And it's a lot easier to turn you on afterwards."

Stunned, he shook his head. "Impossible. You're impossible."

Carlos only leaned to him in answer and pressed a kiss on his temple, which was the end of the matter.

"Do you want to go out for dinner?" asked Alex instead.

"Why not?" Lando sighed and straightened up. "Let me just quickly pack my things."

So they caught up with the dinner, which was already planned in China and had a pretty nice evening for four.

Chapter Text

Baku, 29th April, 2019

"Damn Carlos, couldn't you have made them smaller? They attract everyone's eyes," he commented when he couldn't take his eyes away from the huge hickeys on Lando's throat. The whole race weekend they were not to be overlooked already, but today they seemed to be even bigger. "It's unbelievable that no one has said anything about it."

"You have no idea," Lando sighed heavily and pulled out a sweater from his backpack, which he put on. Then he pulled the hood over his head so that the spots were at least a little better covered before handing the backpack to Carlos, who stowed it in the storage space above the seats, in which he had also placed his own backpack before.

Confused, he turned his head to the side, after all, he had not noticed any special articles or photos about the origin of these hickeys. "I didn't see anything about it on the Internet," he therefore said.

"Me neither," Alex agreed, nodding which made him smile. Lately, pretty much everything Alex did make him smile. He just made him fucking happy.

"Well." Carlos fell next to Lando grinning and put his arm around his boyfriend's shoulder. "Jon mocked him about it all weekend. And when Zak made a comment yesterday, I had to make sure they didn't disappear so quickly." He looked down at his teammate with a slight smile, who had cuddled himself up to him happily.

"In the motorhome again or this time in the hotel room?" Alex teased them.

"Hotel room," Lando muttered barely audible for them, burying his face in Carlos' neck. Alex and him exchanged a knowing glance that fortunately the couple did not notice. Carlos was far too busy watching Lando, while the younger one was so calm by the proximity of the Spaniard that he would probably fall asleep at any moment.

"Wait a minute...is that my sweater?" Carlos then suddenly broke the silence and pushed Lando away slightly to get a better look at his pullover.

"And if," the one complained, sleepy. "It's more cuddly than the sweaters I had with me."

Smiling, he drew him back to himself, which was immediately rewarded with a content hum.

"But it smells so beautifully of you, oh Carlos, I love you so much," Alex mimicked their friend exaggeratedly, making him giggle. The Thai also couldn't help but grin as he slowly leaned back, as he had leaned over to him before so Carlos and Lando wouldn't hear his words.

He gave him a slight punch in the ribs as he tried to suppress his laughter. But when his eyes found Alex's, they couldn't pull themselves together anymore. They both burst into loud laughter, which made their opponents look up confused.

"You two are so weird," Lando said, sceptically raising an eyebrow. "What are you laughing at?"

"Nothing," Alex said hypocritically as he took a deep breath. His body still trembled slightly with laughter as he leaned against him.

"Let them be happy, mi amor." Carlos put his hands on Lando's cheeks before he connected their lips. He could have sworn that the young Briton blushed at the nickname, but he was denied further sight of him because the hood covered his head. He quickly pulled his cell phone out of his pocket to take a picture of the two of them as they broke away again. A frustrated murmur left his lips.

"Don't worry, the biggest Carlos and Lando shipper - after you, of course - was fast enough to take a picture," Alex breathed to him and held up his phone for a moment, allowing him to see the picture.

"It's not true that I ship them so much," he contradicted him, which he acknowledged with a snort. Amused, he replied, "Oh please, every time they even look at each other, you start to grin and are ready to take a picture."

He blushed massively at his words. To be honest, he hadn't realised that the relationship between the two of them made him so happy, but he had to admit to himself that it was nice to see them like this. Especially for Lando, he was happy that he had found someone in Carlos who could give him security when he had to struggle with himself. Of course, from their Formula 2 time together, he knew that Lando could be tough on himself more often. Alex and him always had a lot to do to cheer him up, but Carlos would succeed with a single kiss.

"Whatever," he waved off and shook his head slightly. "Just let me be happy for them."

"I think it's adorable," Alex muttered and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek out of nowhere, which only sent more blood to his head. He embarrassedly bit his lip as he suppressed the electrifying feeling of Alex's lips on his cheek. What the fuck did he do to him?

"Okay, okay," he murmured. "Can't we just change the subject?"

Smiling, the elder agreed with him and laid his head on his shoulder as per usual. As the plane began to move, he sighed quietly. Immediately, he put his arm around him, pulling Alex towards him.

"Thank you, George," Alex whispered, grabbing his free hand to intertwine their fingers. "Thank you for doing this as if it was natural."

"It is," he made clear. "After all, I'm your best friend." Best friend... how he wished he was more than just his best friend...

He felt Alex's lips breaking to a grin. "You're so much more than just my best friend."

Surprisingly, he looked at him as he raised his head slightly. Their eyes met and immediately a pleasant shiver drove down his back. Only a few inches separated them before he understood the meaning of his words. Of course, Alex didn't mean what he wanted. He just meant that he was like a brother to him. God, how could he think for one moment that Alex had just indirectly confessed his feelings to him?

"Brother from another mother," he returned with a playful grin, while his heart broke into a thousand pieces.

Alex gave him a short smile before he sat up slightly and turned away from him. A little hurt, he swallowed. Did he say something wrong or why was he suddenly so weird?

Slowly, he pulled his arm back from his shoulder, as he had obviously just slipped away from him, although he hated flying. He guessed that meant he couldn't use his closeness. A little saddened, he leaned his head against the window and looked outside.

Throughout the flight, this strange atmosphere between them continued until the plane landed again. Alex's breath speeded up instantly and he began to tremble slightly. He automatically pulled him to him, which Alex allowed again this time. He pressed his face against his chest while he buried his own in his best friend's hair.

"Everything is fine, we will soon have solid ground under our feet again," he reassured him, which seemed to have an effect. Alex stopped shaking and slowly breathed more calmly. His hands gently ran over his back, which quickly evanesced the previously depressed mood.

A few minutes later they had landed, which is why his best friend broke away from him. Sighing, he ran through his face and finally yawed heartily. "God, flights are so tiring."

Smiling, he stroked his upper arm once again before loosening his belt and straightening up. The other three did the same, so they were soon able to leave the plane.

"And what are your plans for the coming weeks?" He asked his now almost standard question whenever they flew to London as a three, or more recently also as a four-man flight.

"Cuddle, cuddle and...oh yes, cuddle again," Lando happily enumerated and looked at Carlos with beaming eyes, who gave him a loving smile. "Honestly, these weeks between races are awesome! Sleep, enjoy your free time, go on dates...It's perfect."

"Especially if you can spend time with someone like Lando," Carlos added honestly and he sighed quietly. Yeah, it must be great to be with the person you loved.

"Sounds nice," Alex now returned and he nodded.

"And you?" Lando asked the counter-question after he had leaned on Carlos for a moment as he walked.

"Probably the same as you, except without kissing and sex," he said provocatively, which made Lando moan in annoyance.

"How many times do I have to tell you, George?! We-," he began, but Carlos quickly shut his mouth.

"Don't start with the fact that we haven't had sex yet." Carlos raised his index finger before he let go of him again. "Now you really can't deny it anymore."

"Carloooos," the respondent groaned as a red glow spread across his cheeks. "We had already talked about it! I don't want you to keep screwing us up!"

"Oops." Innocently, he shrugged his shoulders and grinned broadly.

He laughed as they walked out of the airport together, where they said goodbye.

When the couple left, Alex put an arm around his shoulder. "What do you think: We'll go to your place, order pizza, and then watch a movie?"

Smiling, he looked at him and was looking forward to the evening and the next few days with him. "Sounds perfect to me," he breathed back, which elicited a happy smile before they looked for a taxi.

Chapter Text

Milton Keynes, 4th May, 2019

Smiling, he looked at Alex next to him, who was still asleep. His hair stood out in all directions and he just looked incredibly cute. He couldn't help but reach out and gently stroke his cheek. Immediately his lips turned to a blissful smile, which made his heart beat faster.

He remained in this position for several minutes until he finally decided to let him sleep and prepare breakfast instead.

So he got up cautiously before going into the kitchen. He was looking for a recipe for pancakes on his phone that he had everything for at home and when he finally found one, he started to make the dough.

He had just started frying the first pancakes when two arms were wrapped around him from behind. Alex leaned his head against his bare back and murmured happily.

"Good morning," he smiled, turning his head back a bit, but he couldn't see more than his hair.

"Morning," he muttered, sleepy.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked and turned to the pan again. Alex only gave him a slight nod, and he left it there.

Obviously, he didn't pay enough attention to Alex, because after a few minutes he detached himself again to stand between him and the stove.

"Alex," he smiled in surprise. "What's all this about?"

"Nothing." He looked at him innocently before putting his arms around his neck and placing his head on his shoulder. He gently pulled him closer to him by the hip while he tried to flip the pancakes with his free hand. It was much more difficult than with two hands available, but Alex's proximity was worth the effort.

Soon after, he had managed to use up the dough, so he turned off the stove and put his second hand on Alex's hip.

"Shall we have breakfast?" He wanted to know gently and got an indestructible sound back. "Was that a yes or no?"

"A yes, but only if we eat on the sofa." He detached himself from him to look at him with big, pleading eyes, which made him laugh. Sometimes he couldn't believe he was older than him. Especially in the morning, when he was still sleepy, he mutated into a toddler, which was also damn cute somewhere. He always looked for his closeness and of course he liked it.

"Okay," he agreed. When he wanted to let go off him completely, his grip immediately solidified.

"Would you carry me to the sofa?" he begged, and how could he resist him with these puppy eyes? He grabbed under his thighs, which he immediately understood, and jumped up.

As Alex wrapped his legs around his hip for more support, he carried him into the living room, where he finally let him down on the sofa.

"I'll get the pancakes," he muttered and disconnected himself from him, which he also allowed this time. So he ran back into the kitchen, put plates and different toppings on a tray, and then brought breakfast to Alex.

"Hmm...I'm going to miss the service," his best friend smiled relaxedly as he put his second pancake on the plate. "I'm being spoiled."

"Don't think it's going to be normal," he warned him. "Today is an exception."

"Sure," he simply returned and reached for the remote control to turn on the TV. Shortly after that, he had already started the show on Netflix, which they had started together last week, and sat back satisfied. With a smile, he turned to the TV while they finished breakfast.

After several episodes, they cleaned up the stuff again.

"What's our plan for today?" He asked as he put the plates in the dishwasher.

"We've been training all week. Don't you think we deserve a relaxing day on the couch?" Alex closed the fridge and looked at him.

"We do," he nodded thoughtfully.

"So it's decided." Grinning, he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and stopped briefly. "Uhm...Georgie?"

He skeptically looked at the older man, who had put on his puppy eyes again. Plus the suspicious tone and the choice of his nickname...okay, what was his plan?

"Jack asked if he could come over. He happens to be nearby."

He had to hold off a snort. Jack happens to be nearby? It seemed like he quite often just 'happened' to be right where Alex was. Besides, how did he even know Alex was with him? Did they really have that much contact?

He was looking for an excuse to say no but found none, so he had to give up. "Sure," he said with a forced smile.

"You sure? If you don't want to, then-"

"Alex, just text him before I change my mind," he interrupted him quickly, and immediately a happy smile spread across his lips. It stabbed him right in the heart, that it made him so happy that Jack would come, but he still kept his smile.

"Thank you, you're the best!" With that, he fell around his neck and kissed him on the cheek before he ran out of the kitchen. Probably to get ready. Sighing, he closed the dishwasher. That would be awesome...not.

Almost an hour later Jack was standing in front of his door. For his own taste, he hugged Alex far too long and deeply. He even thought to see him put a kiss on his neck. Annoyed, he rolled his eyes and leaned against the wall as they loosened their grips around each other.

Jack greeted him with a handshake before putting an arm around Alex. "And what are we going to do now?" he asked with a smile and gave him a side glance.

It was hard to miss that the atmosphere between the two of them got icy. Still, Alex had managed to not notice it. Happily, he leaned on the British and shrugged his shoulders.

"We could go golfing," Jack suggested. He immediately wanted to disagree because Alex wanted a relaxed day on the sofa, but his best friend came before him.

"That sounds great!" he exclaimed enthusiastically, which made him falter.

Oh, all of a sudden you feel like sports, Alex??

"Okay," he muttered less enthusiastically and ran through his hair. "I'll just get changed."

How could a day start so beautiful and end so shitty?

This question was circling in his mind as they sat on my sofa late at night, although he was probably more of a decoration. Alex and Jack had only been talking to each other all day, he had always been third-wheeling. Even now, they cuddled together while he sat alone at the other end of the couch.

Frustrated, he tightened his jaw again and again, while the anger at Jack grew bigger and bigger. Normally, Alex would be in his arms now, not Jack's. Normally, he'd make him laugh. Normally, there would be only him for Alex.

Plus, Jack had to give him those stupid, victory-proof looks all the time. He guessed he noticed right away that he wasn't totally averse to Alex and it made him freak out when Jack was so close to him. In addition, he had to spend the night here.

When Jack leaned forward and whispered something in Alex's ear that made him giggle, he had had enough. He quickly straightened up.

"I'm going to bed," he tensely announced and immediately ran to his room, where he slammed the door behind him. Incredible aggression had built up inside him that he wanted to let out. His hands clenched in fists and he was about to reach out just to hit the wall when he thought of something better. Jack wasn't worth him being so angry. That's exactly what he wanted to do, he wouldn't give him that satisfaction.

He took a deep breath before he relaxed his muscles and got changed instead to go to sleep.

And even though Alex wasn't by his side, he did quite well.

He woke up when the mattress next to him was lowering. Shortly after that, someone cuddled him from behind, and instantly he knew it was Alex.

"You're awake, aren't you?" he breathed. His fingertips rolled gently over his side before he turned to him.

"Are you all right?" He frowned anxiously and put his hand to his cheek.

"'Course, very good," he whispered back. "I was just tired."

"Are you sure?" Lovingly he drove over his cheek and gave me a compassionate smile that made his heart beat faster. He nodded in agreement before he lost himself in his eyes despite the darkness.

Alex wanted to sleep in his bed. Even though he had been glued to Jack all day, he wanted to spend the night with him. It gave him security in his next step. He had to show Alex what he meant to him before Jack could do it and he would lose Alex.

Hypnotised, he slid closer to him. His gentle touch left a pleasant tingling as he approached him further. His gaze slipped to his full lips, then back to his eyes. Alex watched him as he moved, didn't back up, but he didn't meet him either.

He could already feel his breath on his skin when he suddenly started, "We should sleep. It's been a long day."

His words pierced his heart like a sword. He guessed that meant he wasn't interested in him, he didn't want to kiss him.

Hurt, he nodded and slipped back to restore the initial distance between them. As he turned around, pointing his back to Alex, he suppressed the tears.

He had lost him to Jack.

Chapter Text

London, 8th May, 2019

Tired, he ran through his face when he had settled down at the airport to fly to Barcelona. Today he would only fly with Carlos and Lando because Alex had rather spent the last days with Jack than with him and would also come tomorrow. Again and again, it struck him in the heart when he thought of his glowing eyes as soon as Jack said a word. It seemed like Alex was really falling in love with him. He would love to be happy for him, after all, he was his best friend and deserved to be happy, but he just didn't think Jack was a good choice. Why couldn't Alex just fall in love with him?

Sighing, he thought of all the beautiful moments with Alex, which from now on were probably a thing of the past. Sleeping and waking up next to each other, holding hands, cuddling...Why did Jack have to destroy everything?

"Good morning daydreamer," a cheerful voice tore him out of his thoughts. He gave Lando a short smile and stretched out his hand, to fist-bump him. Then he spotted Carlos behind him. The poor guy was packed with backpacks, so he gave Lando a disapproving look.

"You do know you can carry your backpack yourself, right?" He asked to be safe and the younger one shrugged his shoulders for a moment.

"But Carlos likes to do it for me. Is that right?" He turned to his boyfriend as he put on his best puppy eyes. Immediately Carlos' look softened, which made him smile. Okay, he already had two people he needed to talk to this weekend. On the one hand, Alex, he had to take the last chance before he finally decided on Jack, and on the other hand, Carlos. The Spaniard had to learn that Lando shamelessly exploited his kindness. If he didn't contradict Lando at the beginning of the relationship, it might not end well for him. Well, at least their love was real. And then his thoughts drifted back to Alex. Je wondered if he'd ever thought about him the last few days?

"Everything okay?" Carlos interrupted his thoughts this time and he nodded absently before he greeted him with a handshake too.

"I was just thinking about the race. Are you looking forward to it?" He asked. Instantly, a happy smile spread across his lips and he nodded violently before putting down the backpacks.

"Very!" he returned excitedly. "My family's coming to watch the race and after that, I'll spend a few days with them." He took a side glance at Lando, who was poking around on his mobile phone, but even he himself had noticed that his jaw had tensed. So Carlos probably didn't miss it either.

"What's going on?" He immediately followed and the elder sighed heavily.

"I offered Lando to come with me to meet my family, but he didn't want to," he said. His eyes grew big and he looked at the young Briton, who bit his lower lip ashamed. Great, so he had to talk to Lando, too, to find out why he didn't want to go with Carlos.

"I think our plane is ready." Lando straightened up quickly before they could continue the conversation, and this time he grabbed his own backpack, which he immediately put on his shoulders. Shaking his head, he did the same, so that they were soon on their plane to Spain.

It took less than five seconds for Lando to look at his boyfriend guiltily and begged for forgiveness. Of course, Carlos couldn't last long. After a short time, he rolled his eyes, but had to smile and finally leaned over to kiss him.

The flight was not long and nevertheless, Carlos fell asleep after half an hour on Lando's shoulder, who photographed it immediately with a dreamy smile. He watched for quite a while before he cleared his throat. Immediately his friend looked at him.

"Why don't you want to go visit his family?" He asked compassionately and he immediately closed his eyes knowingly. "That would only deepen your relationship."

"I know," he began almost desperately. "That's my problem!"

Irritated, he bent his head and frowned. But wasn't that what you usually wanted in a relationship? "What do you mean?"

"It's all happening so fast. It's my first real relationship where I feel like it could last forever. What if his family doesn't like me?" he doubted. "Then, we'll split up and he'll find someone new with whom I'll have to see him every day. And what if the new person is better than me? Then I even have to admit that I wasn't good enough for him!"

After his words, he couldn't help but smile. He‘d never seen Lando so much on the brink of despair, and he was kinda happy about finally seeing him like that. He was worried about a lot of unnecessary things, damn.

"You don't really think Carlos' family won't like you, do you?" He laughed quietly and got an annoyed look from him. "God, Lando. I'm pretty sure they just want what's best for Carlos. They won't miss how happy you make him, how he looks at you, and how you act around each other in general. And if they do miss it, and despise you for whatever reason, then you should still have a little more faith in your relationship. He would never give up on you because he knows you belong together."

Lando lowered his head and looked at his sleeping boyfriend for a brief moment. Finally, he began to smile before lovingly caressing his cheek. As a result, a blissful smile spread over Carlos' lips. He was really melting away.

"Maybe you're right," he admitted quietly, playing briefly with the Spaniard's hair. "Maybe I should talk to him again."

"Absolutely. Show him you're as serious about the relationship as he is."

"Thank you, Georgie." He gave him a big smile. "Your words really helped."

"Gladly." He watched with satisfaction the moment when Lando leaned over to Carlos and breathed a kiss on his forehead. He knew he was right with what he had said. Carlos really loved Lando and he had never experienced Lando so caring. It was nice to see when his friends were in a happy relationship. Well, apart from when you were in love with your best friend, maybe then it wasn't so nice.

He longingly opened the chat with Alex. The last message was several days ago before Jack came by and everything got kind of stupid. Alex had written to him after he had woken up where he was and that he should come back to bed. Of course, he had immediately followed up on this request and had postponed breakfast, which was definitely worth it. For several more hours, they had laid cuddling in bed and enjoyed just having time for themselves.

Yeah, it had been really nice when it had just been the two of them...

"Hey Carlos, can we talk?" He stopped the McLaren driver when he ran into him alone in front of the hotel in the evening. Surprised, he turned to him and then nodded in agreement, albeit somewhat skeptical.

"Sure. But I just got back from the paddock and Lando is waiting for me in my room, so you have to keep it short," he joked slightly, but he quickly realised it wasn't meant to be a joke. He seemed really in a hurry, so he briefly questioned the definition of “Lando waiting for me in my room”. But he quickly pushed the thought aside, after all, he was still not really keen on imagining them during sex.

"Okay." Together they entered the hotel and went to the stairs. "I just wanted to tell you that you don't have to do everything for Lando. He may be cute and look like a baby, but he's a grown-up," he teased Carlos slightly. "Honestly, if you don't learn to say 'no' then you'll have a problem."

He couldn't help but smile. "That sounds like he's still a baby and needs to be raised tho."

"Baby in terms of relationships," he laughed and looked at him from the side. "No, seriously. I know you're just trying to make him happy, but it's still good enough if you don't do everything for him without hesitation. He is happy as long as you are with him."

"Okay, got it. Thank you. I guess I spoiled him a bit," he admitted with a slight smile, which made him nod. "How can you give such good relationship advice and still not be in a relationship yourself?"

"If only I knew..." he shrugged as his thoughts drifted back to Alex. Well, sometimes some things didn't work out.

"Well, you still have Alex in case of need," grinned Carlos, to which he looked at him confused. When he looked at him, the Spanisrd reacted at least as surprised. "Wait a minute, you didn't notice?"

"Noticed what?" He checked.

"That Alex is always looking for your closeness, glancing at everyone who gets too close to you and using every situation to make you smile?" he enumerated meaninglessly, which only surprised him even more.

"You didn't get that from me! I really have to go now," Carlos apologised when his phone started ringing and the name 'Lando' appeared on the display. After a short farewell, Carlos ran down the hallway to his room, leaving him overwhelmed.

Did he really mean his words as he had said them?

Chapter Text

Barcelona, 9th May 2019

When he entered the paddock on Thursday morning and walked to his motorhome, he couldn't help but look for Alex. They hadn't texted anymore, but he had to come sometime today and he was hoping he'd run into him. However, there was no sign of his best friend, which made him sigh. He probably went to some media meetings.

He had just resigned himself to this thought, when his voice sounded behind him, "Georgie!"

Instantly, he turned to the older one and smiled a little. He noticed how happy he looked. Maybe it was Jack's fault...or because he saw him?

"Hey." He wanted to hug him when he just held out his hand. He looked at him perplexedly, before he fist-bumped it slowly. His heart was pounding painfully in his chest and he just couldn't believe what had just happened. He couldn't be serious, could he?

"How are you?" he grinned broadly as if it had not been a bit strange, and he swallowed heavily.

"G-Good, yeah...good," he lied, because to be honest, he felt pretty shitty. Alex's behavior was confusing and hurtful and he just didn't really know what to think or feel. Why was he acting so strange? "And you?"

"I've rarely been better. The last few days have been fantastic!" he raved. Ouch, that hurt. Now it was obvious that his good mood wasn't on him and he had screwed up again. There was only one way to end the whole thing between him and Jack, and if Carlos was right with what he had said yesterday, it had to work, didn't it?

Uncertain he played with his fingers and lowered his gaze. "Hmm, Alex? Can we talk later? There's something I want to tell you."

"Oh, okay. Sure," he returned surprised. "I'll text you my room number, so you can just come by tonight when it suits you."

"That sounds good." He looked at him again before he stepped back and cleared his throat. "Alright, I have to go."

"I’ll see you later," he nodded. He quickly said goodbye, then he jogged to his motorhome. Now there was no turning back...

One last time, he took a deep breath before he knocked on Alex's door. His hands had become quite sweaty, so he quickly wiped them off his pants. From now on, it was all or nothing, because either they would get together after this conversation or their friendship would fall apart. And his gut told him it would be second, no matter how hard he tried to suppress it. He forced himself to think positively. Everything would be all right, he had to trust Carlos' words...

"Hey, come in," Alex snatched him out of his mind as he opened the door with a gentle smile. Again, no hug, no touch, nothing.

He walked in without a word and looked around for a moment. His suitcase was open and ransacked on the floor. That was one of Alex's habits, which he didn't quite understand, but still accepted. He was never able to unpack his suitcase on the first day, instead, he did it on the second day. He didn't know why, but that's how it had always been like.

"What do you want to talk about?" he hooked up and ran past him to the bed on which he sat down. He hesitantly leaned against the wall opposite him.

"Can you promise me something?" He asked quietly and Alex turned his head inquiring.

"Define what exactly." He looked at him thoughtfully as he knotted his fingers. Another pain swept through his entire body. He had asked him that question before, it had been a few months before. At that time he had nodded without hesitation, now he seemed not so sure about it anymore.

"That we'll always be best friends, no matter what happens between us?" He asked him. Indecisively Alex bit his lip, turned his gaze away from him for a brief moment, and sighed.

"What are you getting at?" he finally wanted to know. "Why shouldn't we?"

"Because I might say something right now that might change it. Please promise me it won't be like that," he begged him, feeling tears coming into his eyes. Why couldn't he just promise him? A few weeks ago, he would have agreed right away, when did he distance himself so much from him?

"George, I can't promise you anything if I don't know what you're getting at," he said in a firm voice, and his heart broke another piece.

"I fell in love with you!" He exclaimed desperately and immediately it became dead silent. Only his trembling breath could be heard as he lowered his head. Alex had to let this information sink, which was also recognised by his posture. He supported himself sideways with his hands as if his body had suddenly become incredibly heavy.

"Why?" he whispered at last and raised his head again.

He ran through his hair before he shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, it just happened. It makes me-"

"No why?" he interrupted me. Confused, he looked into his eyes, in which tears sparkled. "Why couldn't you tell me sooner?"

After that question, he paused briefly. "W-What do you mean?" He asked gently and frowned.

"Shit, George. Do you know how many times I've tried to show you that I have feelings for you?" he breathed stunned. "Do you think I'll sleep with everyone in the same bed, just hold everyone's hand, or kiss everyone's cheek?"

Once again, all the memories came up that made his heart beat faster. And his words...he had feelings for him! Carlos was right! Then why was he so sad? Couldn't they just get together and forget about Jack?

"I-", he started uncertainly, but Alex interrupted him again, "Shit!"

Angrily, he straightened up and tumbled through the room. "Damn it, George! All this time, I've wanted nothing more than for you to be by my side, and you've never really responded to it. And now that I wanted to stop, you confess your feelings?! That's not fair!"

"I didn't think you'd respond to my feelings until Carlos told me yesterday!" He defended himself. "Why didn't you confess your feelings to me?!"

"I confessed them to you! I told you on the flight back from Baku that you are much more than just my best friend and do you know what you said?! ‘Brother from another mother'! Do you have any idea how fucking hurtful that was?" he asked him and he could see in his eyes how deep the pain was.

"I thought that's what you wanted to hear", he explained quietly. "It hurt me just as much."

The silence returned again. Alex let his shoulders drop and sighed heavily, "I've given you so many chances to reach out to me, but now...it's too late."

He immediately looked at Alex in panic. "What do you mean?"

"That I can't be in a relationship with you right now. I want to know where this is going with Jack, and I think..." He paused and swallowed. "...I don't think I can be friends with you right now, because otherwise, I can't focus on him."

A numbing feeling took over his body and it felt like his air was being cut off. It was a nightmare, it had to be a nightmare! Their friendship couldn't fall apart when they both felt the same way.

"George, I-,"Alex began apologising, but this time, he wouldn't let him finish.

"I should go," he pressed out, not wasting another second before running out of his room.

Now he couldn't hold back his tears. Unstoppable, they ran over his cheeks as he made his way to his hotel room. It was over. It was all over. He had given his heart into Alex's hands and he had dropped it. The person whom he would have trusted his life with at any time had betrayed him. It hurt so unbelievably.

"Georgie!" Lando suddenly shouted behind him. "I talked to Carlos again and- Oh, shit!" When he saw his tears, he immediately came up to him and hugged him tightly. "What happened?"

"N-nothing," he sniffed. "Just a bad day."

"Don't lie to me, George," he muttered and drove over his back calmly. "You can talk to me about anything."

And like that, he ended up sitting on the bed with him two minutes later to tell him everything. A short time later Carlos joined them. The two of them managed to get Alex out of his mind for at least a few hours, even if his broken heart would probably not be healed so quickly.

Chapter Text

Monaco, 24th May, 2019

After the second free practice, he exhaustedly fell on the chair in his driver's room. Actually, he thought he had his feelings under control for the past two weeks. Lando had always invited him over and distracted him so that he was actually quite fine. Except for the nights. Then the events of Barcelona caught up with him again and he had definitely shed too many tears.

Despite everything, he was fine. Since Wednesday, however, nothing seemed to work properly anymore. He had met Alex at the hotel in the evening and he wouldn't even look at him. Instead, he had actually turned completely to Max, with whom he had gone somewhere. The Dutchman had even greeted him and when he had noticed that Alex and he were in an icy mood, he was noticeably confused. Nobody was used to them arguing, after all, they had never really done that before. They had been inseparable since day one.

Apparently, Max had spread this strange encounter in the paddock, because yesterday almost all of their friends had approached him about it. With the excuse that "we had a little misunderstanding", he turned them all down. All these conversations caused him to be overwhelmed by the pain. When a journalist had observed that they had not even looked at each other in the paddock and had asked him about it, he had nearly broken in. He rarely had to hold back his tears so much, apart from Barcelona.

In the evening it had been useless. He was literally drowning in his tears until Lando pulled him out of the hole. He had prepared to get a card for his room when he arrived because he didn't want him to be alone.

Exhausted, he buried his face in his hands and took a deep breath. It was pretty hard for him to really focus on driving. First, because he slept poorly and was therefore tired, secondly, because his thoughts drifted off again and again. And you couldn't use that when you were in the race car.

When his phone rang, he lowered his hands to grab it instead.

Nathan.

Nathan was, along with Tim, a good friend from school. The two of them, Lando and Carlos, were the only ones he had told about Alex. Simply because he couldn't hide anything from them anyway, they knew him too well.

Sighing, he took the call. "Hey."

"Hey, Bro. How are you?" the Briton's voice sounded, and he glanced out the window.

"Not too good. This weekend couldn't get any worse," he moaned annoyed. "Everyone has to ask me about Alex all the time, it's really hard to bear."

"We could come by if you want," Tim said. He thought for a moment. In fact, the idea didn't sound so bad, but he had to admit that he had only little time. Tomorrow and Sunday, he was busy and on Sunday evening, if he theoretically had time, he wanted to fly back to London to spend as little time here as possible. Then he might as well meet them there.

"How about you come to my house on Sunday night?" He suggested straight away. "Unfortunately, I don't have much time here and you could stay for a few days then."

"Sounds great!" Nathan immediately agreed and he couldn't help but smile. He had by far the best friends.

"Well, then that's settled. Thank you for being there for me."

"Of course, that's what friends are for," he heard Tim grinning and bit his lips for a moment as his smile grew bigger.

They talked for a while about the first and second practice until there was a knock on his door and Lando stuck his head in. As soon as Lando saw the smile on his lips, he began to smile, too, and stepped in. He quickly said goodbye to his friends before hanging up.

"Well, you look happy," the younger remarked, leaning against the wall.

"Yeah, Tim and Nathan just called." Explanatory, he held up his mobile phone, whereupon he nodded understandingly.

"That's good." He scratched his head in embarrassment. "Uhm...can you help me with something?"

"Sure, what's it about?" He wanted to know immediately and sat upright.

"Carlos and me actually," he began cautiously. Lando looked at him uncertainly and he smiled slightly.

"Lando, I know you tried, but you can't spare me forever about relationships, so get it out. I will survive," he reassured him.

"Okay...well, Carlos' family has a holiday home in Italy and his father has invited me to go there with them in the summer. Of course, Carlos is coming along too, it's a tradition of them, but I-"

"You're going with them, of course!" He interrupted him before he could even express his concerns. Why didn't he tell him about it sooner?!

"But that's two whole weeks!" he exclaimed and shrugged helplessly. "Maybe I'll be too annoying for them."

"Lando, how long were you with them after the race in Barcelona?" He asked with raised eyebrows.

"Six days..." he muttered.

"Noticed it yourself, right?" A smile spread across his lips. "You said yourself that they welcomed you well and now you tell me that they invited you on holiday?! If it's a tradition of them as a family, then they've made you an offer to take you into the family completely. Even though they've only really known you for those six days! So don't worry about it. Besides, think of it this way: you can relax for two weeks in Italy with Carlos by your side, you can constantly admire his six pack on the beach, what could be better?"

During the last part, he rolled his eyes with a grin. "Did you just indirectly say that you think my boyfriend's hot?" Playing, he raised an eyebrow and he laughed slightly.

"Maybe," he responded. Lando breathed in shock and placed a hand on his chest.

"That's it, friendship's over." He turned around demonstratively before they both burst into laughter. Lando turned back to him and grinned widely.

"Thank you, George", he finally said when they had calmed down. "I think I just need to become more confident in our relationship."

"Definitely." He nodded in agreement. "Do you know the reason for this uncertainty?"

"I don't know. Sometimes I look at Carlos and listen to him and I don't know... then I feel so stupid and small next to him. I know he doesn't see it that way because he loves me, but if someone doesn't look at me the way he does, I'm afraid they might see it that way," he muttered and sighed heavily.

He straightened up and walked towards him. "Come here." He stretched out his arms. Not a second later, Lando cuddled into them and he closed his eyes.

He guessed they both could use that hug. For a few minutes, they stood like this in his room before they separated again.

Lando gave him another thankful smile and ran through his hair. "That was nice."

"Yes. And now go to your boyfriend and tell him about your worries before you also tell him you're going to Italy with him." He pushed him towards the door.

Torn to and fro, he hesitated and bent his head. "Are you okay?" he made sure again.

"Yes, I'll be fine," he reassured his friend. "Get out of here."

"You're the best!" Happy, he disappeared from his room and he shook his head with a grin before getting changed. He'd already been through the team briefing. Now he just wanted to go to bed and rest after a hard day.

With a packed backpack, he left his motorhome and walked to the exit of the paddock. On the way there, Pierre and Max met him with their coaches. A few meters behind them, Alex was also talking to his coach.

Immediately his eyes were tied. The RedBull drivers waved at him, which he quickly did, too. This also seemed to catch Alex's attention and the Thai turned his head towards him. Their eyes met and for a moment, the world stood still.

His heart beat incredibly fast when he showed him a light smile. Alex mimicked it briefly, before turning to his coach again and sinking into a conversation with him. He also looked back to the exit.

Yeah, he would be fine.

Chapter Text

Montreal, 9th June, 2019

After he had changed his clothes after the race, he headed straight to the McLaren Motorhome to check on Lando, as his race engineer had told him that he had to retire the car. Now he wanted to be there for him, just as he'd been there for him all the last few weeks.

He knocked on the door of the driver's room, in which he had spent a lot of time the last few days, and opened it when Lando shouted 'yes?'. When he entered, his face immediately brightened up. "Georgie!"

"Hey." He smiled compassionately at him and sat down next to him on the sofa. Satisfied, Lando laid his head on his shoulder.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Cheering you up and bringing you this." He took a bar of chocolate from his jacket pocket, which he had quickly stolen from his motorhome. Beaming, he grabbed it and opened the package.

"You're the best, thank you!" He happily shoved the first piece into his mouth before he closed his eyes in satisfaction. "Mhhh...Jon would kill me if he saw this."

"A little chocolate won't hurt," he smiled. "Moreover, it's just what you need after a bad race."

"Well, you're right." He looked at the chocolate thoughtfully, then gave it back to him with a gentle smile. "I think there's someone else who could use your presence and a bit of chocolate because he had a bad race."

Ironically, he snorted and rolled his eyes. "Very funny," he finally commented on his statement, even though his heart contracted. Of course, he knew who he meant – Alex. However, they had not exactly talked to each other since Barcelona, and thus for almost four weeks. They greeted each other, but that was all. So he was pretty much the last person to cheer Alex up.

The Thai had to retire his car too, he didn't know exactly why though. But what he was aware of was that he had to be in a terrible state and that didn't make him feel very good either. Still, he certainly wouldn't go to him.

"That wasn't a joke," Lando said, sighing heavily. "It's pretty hard for me to take care of both of you and run my relationship at the same time. Especially when I see how much you two miss each other. So please, Georgie, he needs you and you need him. You don't have to talk about what happened in Barcelona, but you have to be there for each other again, it doesn't work for anyone like this anymore."

"He misses me?" He chucked in disbelief, after all, he had the feeling that Alex looked pretty happy whenever he saw him.

"Of course he misses you! You've been best friends for so long, what do you think? That all this meant nothing to him? That it was easy for him to end it?" Invitingly, Lando raised his eyebrows and still held the chocolate towards him, which he slowly reached for.

Yeah, to be honest, it felt like it had all been pretty easy for him. It didn't seem like it was a big problem that he chose Jack over him, even though they had known each other for ages. Now that Lando came over so confident about his case, he began to doubt that thought. Maybe Alex really missed him...

"Do you seriously think he'll allow me to be near him?" He nevertheless asked again and immediately the Briton began to nod violently, which made him swallow. Maybe he should stop by Alex's again after all.

Suddenly the door was opened and Carlos entered as a matter of course. "Oh, hey George," he greeted him a little surprised. He guessed Carlos didn't expect him in his boyfriend's room so soon after the race.

"Hey." Slowly, he got up and ran through his hair. "I was about to leave anyway, now it's your job to take care of Lando."

"No one has to take care of me, I'm old enough to take care of myself," the youngest of the three of them grumbled, making Carlos and him smile.

"Sure." His voice was just so ironic as he walked to the door. Meanwhile, Carlos took his place next to his boyfriend and put an arm around him.

"Remember what I told you!" Lando shouted after him, while he had already half stepped through the door. He just raised his hand as a sign that he had understood before he left the room. Before that, however, he took one last look inside. Lando had leaned his head against Carlos' shoulder and had closed his eyes, his hand rested on his boyfriend's belly. Meanwhile, Carlos kept blowing kisses on his forehead, which made him smile. His friend was in good hands with the Spaniard after this really shitty race. So he could calmly close the door behind him and leave the motorhome.

His gaze glided over the paddock, where it got stuck at the RedBull Motorhome, where the Toro Rosso drivers also had their rooms. Should he really go and see Alex? He looked at the chocolate in his hands as he wrestled with himself. Okay, it was worth a try.

Nervously he entered said motorhome. "Hey, where's Alex's room?" He asked the first employee who ran into him.

"Theoretically, up the stairs on the right and then the second room on the left. He's still at the team briefing though. You can either wait for him in his room or I'll take you to him if you don't want to talk to him for long," she said.

He paused for a moment to think about it before answering, "I'll wait for him in his room, thank you." Because the conversation would probably not be so short. She nodded in agreement and he followed her description until he stood in front of the room. Slowly he entered it before nervously walking back and forth.

Maybe it was a mistake for him to be here. Maybe he should just put the chocolate on the table and get out of here. On the other hand, it would certainly look strange if an opened chocolate bar was suddenly in Alex's driver's room. Besides, the one employee had already seen him and maybe she would tell Alex he had been there.

However, the longer it took for Alex to show up, the more doubts arose. It was definitely a mistake to show up here. God, what was he doing here? Desperately, he wanted to leave the room when the door opened just at that moment.

Shocked, the elder stopped in the door frame and looked at him speechless, while he looked probably looked more uncertain than ever before. Slowly, he held out the chocolate to him. "Here, chocolate helps with bad races. Unfortunately, it is already opened, because Lando has already eaten a bit of it, but better than nothing, right?"

Slowly, a slight smile spread over Alex's lips and suddenly he came towards him with fast steps. The next moment, he wrapped his arms tightly around his neck. Surprised, he paused briefly, then returned his hug. Happily, he buried his face in Alex's shoulder and inhaled his smell deeply. He had him back...

At that moment, he didn't care about anything. He didn't care that maybe they'd just spend those few minutes together before they went to their not-really-talking stage again. He didn't care that he actually had this thing going on with Jack. The only thing that mattered now was holding him in his arms. And that little moment was perfect enough.

"Thank you," Alex whispered at some point, without any sign that he wanted to break the hug. Therefore, he only strengthened his grip and got a soft sigh from him.

Unfortunately, that embrace had to end at some point. Alex slowly started to get out of his grip and bit himself on the lip. "I missed you," he admitted. "And I know it's my own fault, but I still missed you. It's been really hard the last few weeks without my best friend by my side."

"I can relate." He laughed slightly and swallowed his nervousness. "I missed you too, a lot."

"So, what do you say, best friends again?" He looked at him with his best puppy eyes, which is why he couldn't help but smile.

"Best friends", he agreed. A soft squeak escaped him as he threw his arms around him again, though this time only briefly. He quickly snatched the bar of chocolate out of his hands and opened it as happily as Lando had done earlier.

Together they sat down on the small couch and were immersed in a conversation about the past four weeks while sharing the chocolate.

And suddenly, he felt like he knew where he belonged again.

Chapter Text

Milton Keynes, 15th June 2019

When his phone rang, he looked up from his book and glanced at the display. As soon as he saw the name 'Alex', he did not hesitate for a second before answering the call.

"Hey, Alex. What's up?"he asked with a slight smile on his face as he closed his book.

"I'm bored," he whined and sighed dramatically. "Do you want to come over?"

Of course, he didn't have to think twice about it. He quickly agreed with him and they hung up so he could pack the necessary things, which only were his wallet, keys, and mobile phone. Less than five minutes later, he left his house to go to Alex's. Since the beginning of the year, he also lived in Milton Keynes and therefore also in Alex's vicinity. The last few weeks he could have cursed it, because he had to be afraid to meet him while shopping groceries, now he saw it – as he did at the beginning – as an advantage again.

They had spent the rest of Sunday together and had flown back to London with Carlos and Lando on Monday. The last few days, they had been texting or talking on the phone, so things quickly got back to normal between them, which he was damn happy about. Besides, Alex hadn't said a word about Jack, which made him even happier somehow. He wondered if Alex might not have had any contact with him at all and instead give them a chance soon after all?

A few minutes later, he finally stood outside Alex's door and rang the bell in a good mood. The Thai Briton opened it with a smile.

"Thank you for coming so quickly," he said immediately. "I'm really dying of boredom."

"You should also start reading, that helps against-," he started to tell him, but Alex interrupted him with a playful yawn.

"Oh, sorry. That wasn't a bedtime story?" he then hooked up exaggeratedly apologetically to which he rolled his eyes grinning.

"You don't know what you're missing." Shrugging his shoulders, he walked past him into the hallway.

"Oh, I do," Alex snorted. "Even more boredom."

He already opened his mouth to contradict him, but Alex was faster than him and turned his head, "What are we going to do?"

He surrendered to his theme change and took off his shoes, which he immediately put aside. "We can play some games or just talk or something."

"Playing video games sounds good", Alex immediately burst out, which he commented with a smile, even if it confused him a little. Seemed like he really wanted to avoid talking, even though they had been talking so much lately. Was he trying to skip some topic?

"Well, then-"

"Georgie!" suddenly another voice came from the first floor before he could finish. He looked up the stairs and discovered Zoe, who waved at him enthusiastically before she stormed down the stairs. When she arrived, they hugged for a moment. "You've been here so little the last few weeks, even less than usual. We've missed you," she muttered.

He glanced at Alex in surprise, and he shrugged his shoulders in embarrassment. He didn't seem to have told his family about their little fight in Barcelona, otherwise, they would have reacted differently. "Uhm... yeah. I've been pretty busy."

"Now you're back. Will you stay for dinner?" With puppy eyes, she looked up at him and he laughed quietly.

"Oh yes, please stay for dinner!" Alicia said, who was suddenly standing on the stairs with Chloe and Luca. Zoe had apparently caught the attention of everyone here in the house with her shout.

"Okay, you idiots. Don't besiege him like that, you know George, he's not a new friend," Alex ordered and gave him an apologetic look, but he quickly waved it off, after all, Alex's siblings were kind of his own siblings, too, since he had seen them growing up.

"But we missed him," Luca complained and turned to him again. "Please, please, please stay for dinner. Mom's shopping and I'm sure she can make lasagna tonight."

Moved by the fact that they could still remember his favorite meal, he smiled. "I'll see if I can set it up."

"Fortunately! But Alex, please don't invite Jack back. He's not as cool as George." Alicia gave her older brother an annoyed look. "And no one wants to see you touching each other like last time at dinner."

Her words sent an icy chill down his spine. What did she just say? Jack had been here a lot lately, and they'd been touchy? What was that supposed to mean? Was there something going on between Jack and Alex?

His eyes glided at Alex, who just stared at his sister with his mouth open as if he couldn't believe what she had just said. Eventually, his eyes became darker and flashed furiously. That was an expression one could hardly see on him because he was rarely really angry. Now he seemed to be just that. "That's enough, you're not five anymore, so don't act like that. Just leave us alone, alright?!" His voice was dangerously calm and when he pointed upstairs, it was probably enough for his siblings to listen to their big brother. Frightened, they rushed up the stairs and he was surprised by his sudden drop in mood himself. He just couldn't remember Alex actually being really angry with someone in his family and then becoming so decisive ever.

Alex took a deep breath before he forced a smile at him. "I guess we better go to my room, otherwise they'll disturb us again." Without paying any attention to the situation, let alone Alicia's words, he ran upstairs to his room, where he followed him. Why was he so sensitive? Because he didn't want him to know about Jack? Because he didn't want to hurt him? Because it wasn't the truth? Because something happened between him and Jack - like a fight?

Internally, of course, he hoped that one of the last two assumptions were true, as he might have a chance then. Unfortunately, he could just as well imagine that something was going on between Jack and Alex, as much as he hated the idea because that would mean that he really didn't have any feelings for him anymore and it still hurt when he thought about it. However, he didn't want to ask him whether it was like this, he preferred to stay unknowing. Alex would tell him if he thought it was necessary.

"Mario Kart?" Alex held up the Wii U game box questioningly and he merely nodded wordlessly, whereupon he inserted it.

For quite a while they did all sorts of races, in between his mother interrupting them to say hello to him until finally, his mobile phone rang. Alex glanced at it briefly, then immediately reached for it. He quickly caught a glimpse of the display as well. Instantly, he froze. 'Babe<3' was written boldly as the caller.

"That's Jack, I have to take this," he apologized and stood up before taking the call. He heard him say 'hey', then he ran out of the room to make a phone call in peace, while he almost felt sick when he realised his statement. He had Jack memorized as 'Babe<3'... he guessed that meant they really were together.

He sat on Alex's bed, petrified until the elder came back a short time later. Alex didn't seem to notice he had seen the name on his phone and grinned, "I'm really sorry, he wanted to come by today, but I had to turn him off."

"Are you together?" It burst out of him when he couldn't hold back the question. Earlier he wanted to stay unknowing about Alicia's comment because he was able to sort of put together a perfect world, but now... now it didn't fit together anymore and slowly it seemed to form the exact picture he didn't want to see. Now he wanted to know the truth.

Overburdened, his best friend stared at him and started stuttering, "W-what? I...Jack...what?!"

"Alex, please just tell me," he asked him. It took a lot of self-control to avoid tears in his eyes or his voice shaking too much.

For a whole moment, it was still silent between them, until he finally took a deep breath. "Yes...yes, we got together. Almost two weeks ago," he muttered. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you straight away. I didn't know how you'd take it after...You know." Desperately, he shrugged his shoulders as he forced himself not to show how deep the pain was.

"All good. I just want you to be happy and to be honest, my feelings for you aren't really strong," he replied, even though the last part was a blatant lie. His aching heart was proof enough.

Alex gave him a thin smile and for a moment he even thought he could find his pain in his eyes as he nodded slowly. "Thank you, George. It means a lot."

Chapter Text

Le Castellet, 23rd June, 2019

Sighing, he slid deeper into his couch in the driver's room, while his gaze slid outwards, allowing him to watch the people in the paddock rushing frantically from place to place, carrying things around. He had finished another frustrating race, that was probably the only bright spot today. It was fun to drive in Formula 1, no question at all, but always driving at the back after winning Formula 2 last season was tiring. Eventually, he would drive for Mercedes, of course, but there was still a long way to go and he had to wait. He couldn't do anything else.

He spotted Alex, who was just in the distance with his coach and his attention got stuck with him. The Thai Briton stopped in front of his motorhome and seemed to be talking to his counterpart before he pointed vaguely in his direction. His coach nodded understandingly, then the two parted. While Patrick went to the motorhome, Alex continued to walk down the paddock, right towards his motorhome. Immediately, he sat up straight while a slight smile crept on his lips. Alex's presence would certainly do him good after this race.

He had arrived by now and disappeared out of his sight as he walked through the door. In order not to be too conspicuous, he kept looking outside, even though his heart was almost overflowing with joy. The fact that everything was more or less normal between Alex and him made him incredibly happy – even when he was with Jack. That was the only problem, but as long as he was happy, he guessed so was he. That was what true love and, above all, friendship was about, wasn't it?

The door opened swinging and he turned his head to the entrance where his best friend was standing. "Hey, Georgie," he greeted him with a smile. He returned the smile slightly before looking out again, patting the free space next to him with his right hand. He heard the door closing and steps approaching him. Alex's gaze followed his, and he laughed, "Haven't you got anything better to do than stalking other people?"

Smiling, he shrugged his shoulders. "Not really. I've already done the team briefing and all the interviews and I don't want to go back to the hotel yet," he muttered. "It's also interesting to watch other people. For example, Carlos and Lando walked by together and couldn't keep their hands to themselves. How obvious do they want to make their relationship?"

Alex giggled, causing his body to tremble slightly. Immediately he also grinned and looked at him sideways. In his ears, Alex's laughter was the most beautiful sound there was, especially when it was him who could make him laugh.

"You've always been strange," Alex teased him. He gave him a playfully angry look and gently punched his elbow into his side, which only made him laugh even more. Of course, he didn't miss the loving tone, which showed him that he didn't mean it seriously, or at least not in a mean way. After all, they had gotten used to each other over the years, knew each other inside and out, and liked the flaws that they – like pretty much everyone else – had.

"And you've always been mean." Offended, he stuck out his tongue. For a brief moment, it was quiet between them, then they both burst into laughter. Being able to joke with Alex like that, just being close to him, he'd missed the  last few weeks, very much so. He couldn't stress enough how important it was for him to have Alex by his side because he was just an important part of his life – if not the most important part of his life together with his family.

When they had calmed down, Alex smiled compassionately at him and put his hand on his knee. "Do you want to talk about the race?" he thoughtfully followed. He lowered his head against the headrest and sighed heavily.

"I don't know," he admitted. "It's frustrating not to keep up, but it's better than not Formula One at all. I can't change it anyway."

"Well you are right..." he commented on his words. "I still miss Formula 2 time somehow. Driving against you and Lando was always a highlight. Hopefully, we can do it again here on the track."

"Just drop to P17 and don't go full throttle, then we can do that," he muttered quietly. Actually, it was meant as a joke, but he quickly realised how bitter it really came across. "Sorry," he therefore apologised. "It shouldn't sound so ungrateful...In the future, we can certainly race against each other again."

Alex nodded slightly and wrapped his arms around his neck. "Don't lose your head, will you? You just have to keep telling yourself it's not you, it's the car. If you were sitting in my car, you'd constantly be better than me."

"Don't say that," he mumbled, as he hated it when Alex talked himself down.

"It's a fact and you know it as well as I do." He gave him a soft smile. "You're one of the most talented drivers I've ever seen and you deserve to be in a car to show that. And soon you will, I promise."

He had to admit that his words made him feel much better because he knew he meant them. He said it not only to cheer him up but because he really meant it. That was what he valued very much about Alex and what he could always count on: his honesty.

"Thank you," he breathed quietly and only then realised how close they were. Alex's hands were still on his neck, while his own had somehow found their way to his hip. Their faces were only a few centimeters apart and he swallowed heavily. Being so close to him definitely didn't do him any good. His whole body was electrified, while it tingled like crazy in his stomach.

There was tension between them, no matter how hard they tried to deny or ignore it, it would always be there if they didn't speak up. And even then, he wasn't sure it would just disappear like that. They couldn't be friends if at least one of them wanted more, he knew that. But then why did he feel like he wasn't the only one who wanted more? Why did he get the feeling that Alex was provoking situations like these? After all, he was the one who showed up here. He was the one who brought them to that moment. Because of him, they were closer than ever before.

The tingling in the air was so clear that it was hard to bear. His gaze slipped to Alex's lips and guided by his feelings, he approached him slowly. It was the same situation as in Milton Keynes when he had tried to kiss him. Again Alex didn't move, again he was just intoxicated by his proximity. This time, however, everything inside him screamed that it was a mistake. He had a fucking boyfriend. And even though he didn't want to admit it, he didn't have the right to kiss him like that. He wasn't supposed to break up their relationship. That wasn't fair. But he couldn't stop either.

Almost hypnotised, he closed his eyes when he finally kissed him. For a moment, Alex didn't react at all, until he finally noticed him moving his lips slightly against his, which quickly intensified the kiss. Alex's one hand ran into his hair and clung to it, while he had already forgotten how to breathe. Never before has anything felt so amazingly good and right as this moment. Why couldn't this become normality?

When he grabbed the hem of his shirt with one hand, Alex suddenly seemed to realise what had happened. Jerkingly, he broke the kiss and got up quickly. "What are you doing?!" he demanded to know, while despair was written on his face.

Uncertain, he scratched his neck, because to be honest, he didn't know himself. He knew it was a mistake to kiss him, and he had done it anyway. It was selfish, of course. But Alex had kissed back, so he was just as guilty somewhere, wasn't he? "Sorry, I-", he started, but was quickly interrupted by him.

"That never happened!" Alex clarified and he froze as his heart contracted. He seriously wanted to pretend it didn't happen? Then again, it was probably the only way they could still be friends in any way. If Jack were to find out about it, Alex would have to choose one of them and he knew he wasn't going to win this fight right now.

"Alright," he agreed with him in a scratchy voice. Alex ran through his hair and took a deep breath, "I have to go." Shaking his head, he left his driver's room while he buried his face in his hands. It was obvious that he was struggling with himself, but so was he. He wanted Alex at all costs, even more after that kiss, but he couldn't have him because he wasn't his priority right now. He's made that clear to him more than enough lately.

And as much as it hurt, that was the reality he had to deal with. It wasn't "Alex and George" anymore, it was "Alex and Jack" now.

Chapter Text

Spielberg, 27th June, 2019

"George!" A voice sounded through the paddock he knew all too well when he had just left his motorhome with his PR assistant. Delighted, he scanned the surroundings for the owner of the voice, until his eyes finally fell on Tim and Nathan, who waved at him excitedly.

"Will you excuse me for a moment?" He asked his team member, who looked at her tablet for a moment and then agreed, "Your video shoot starts in 15 minutes, so please be at the entrance of the paddock in ten."

"That can be arranged," he smiled and thanked her nicely, before running to his friends, whom he had invited to a race weekend after half an eternity. He pulled them both one after the other into a firm embrace.

"You made it!" He happily exclaimed. "There's so much I need to tell you."

The two exchanged a knowing glance and Tim nodded, "Is it about Alex?"

"Among other things," he admitted. Until now he hadn't told anyone about the kiss between his - now probably former again - best friend and him. There were several reasons why he hadn't done that.

First of all, the most obvious person he could talk to was Lando. But the younger one was literally on Cloud nine and just couldn't be separated from Carlos anymore though, and he was also friends with Alex. He had already felt bad when he had found him in Barcelona after Alex's and his huge 'fight' and he had told him about it. In Montreal, Lando finally made it clear to him that it was kind of annoying for him to be in between the fronts. After he found out they had made up again, he seemed relieved. He was pretty sure he didn't mean by his words at the time that he didn't want to help him, but he didn't want to put him in an uncomfortable situation either. He deserved to be happy with Carlos now.

The second reason no one knew was that he didn't want to tell Tim and Nathan on the phone but in person. Now they were there, so he could finally do it. The two of them were quite positive towards Alex, after all, they knew him as his best friend, but after Barcelona, that had changed a bit. They would always stand by him and be on his side, which was good in a situation like these.

The third and therefore also last reason was the strangest. Nothing had changed between Alex and him - publicly at least. In front of other drivers or the press, they were the normal best friends who had known each other for ages. They greeted each other, had normal conversations, made jokes, and so on. That's how it was yesterday and that's how it would probably continue. Unfortunately, that was just for the public. Alex tried to be subtle about it, but he knew him well enough to notice that he was avoiding him if a situation could lead to the two of them being alone.

Last night, they had had dinner with Lando and Carlos. While Carlos had gone out of the restaurant for a short call towards the end, Lando wanted to go to the bathroom, leaving only the two of them. Well, Alex immediately got up with the words 'I'll order the bill then' and went to the counter. What might seem normal from the outside was kind of restrictive for him. Knowing that he had fucked up with the kiss, but no one was allowed to know, made him sick, but most of all, he found Alex's behavior unfair.

He had given him so many signs in the last few weeks that he wanted him somehow, only to reject him again. When he had finally kissed Alex, he had decided to reject him completely, but only when they were alone. Sure, maybe he had feelings for him that overwhelmed him, but that still didn't give him the right to hurt his feelings, because he did. Alex finally had to decide what - or rather who - he wanted, because he certainly couldn't stand to jump for him much longer. Alex couldn't reach out to him and then push him away in the next moment and blame him for something he initiated. Of course, he had kissed him in the end, but that wouldn't have happened if he hadn't come so close to him before or just backed away in the first place.

"George?!" Nathan snatched him out of his thoughts. Frightened, he shuddered and realised that he had once again sunk into his emotional chaos.

"Sorry," he muttered, embarrassed. "How about I show you my motorhome for a moment, where you can wait while I have one more shoot, and we'll talk about everything later?"

"Sounds good." Tim patted him on the shoulder with compassion. Flanked by his friends he walked back to the motorhome, which he had actually just left. After showing them at least the cafeteria and his driver's room, he had to hurry to get to the shoot in time.

Thank goodness it was only a short video and after that, he was not interviewed much, so he was able to come back soon. The three of them were actually just about to leave the paddock when a person stopped them. "Tim? Nathan? Wow, we haven't seen each other for a long time!"

Alex.

Instantly, he froze and strained his shoulders as they turned to the Thai who approached them with a broad grin. Alex hugged him briefly and not as familiar as they had always done in the past, while he held out his hand to the other two. He watched the situation tensely. His friends exchanged a skeptical look before they accepted his handshake.

"Yes, I haven't seen you for a while," Nathan muttered monotonously, whereupon Alex looked at him knowingly.

"You told them about our kiss," he mistakenly stated, and he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Oh, God. Oh, God. Please, this was a nightmare and he would wake up at home any second.

"Kiss?!" Tim shouted in terror and turned to him. "You kissed?!"

He swallowed heavily and dodged the enticing gaze of now three people. Now was the moment he would like the ground to open up and swallow him. "Yes," he finally whispered. Alex just shook his head without a word and ran through his hair. At least he wasn't the only one who was uncomfortable now.

"Are you two together now?" Tim continued to ask and he shuddered as if he had hit him. That question...did it have to be? Tears formed in the corner of his eyes as all the memories came back. Not only from the kiss but also from Barcelona. How Alex had turned him down, how he had chosen Jack over him, how he had just dropped him.

"No," Alex answered and it was like another slap in the face. "No, we're not together." His voice sounded restrained, but he still heard the slight tremor, but did not dare to look at him. It was hopeless anyway, he would never choose him no matter how broken he was. He would choose Jack over and over again.

"I have to go now." Without another word, he turned around and ran back in the direction he had come from. Now he dared to look after him again as he would no longer see how hurtful this situation was for him.

"Shit," Nathan hissed in disbelief. "That idiot. You kiss each other and he lets you down again?!"

"Just leave it," he muttered powerlessly, wiping the tears out of his eyes. "There's nothing that could change it. All he cares about right now is Jack, everyone else has to line up in the back. He doesn't care what he does to me anyway."

Tim kindly put an arm around his shoulder. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He hesitantly nodded, because somehow everything had to come out now, what had accumulated the last week.

They drove back to the hotel in the Mercedes, which was provided to me over the weekend, where Tim and Nathan also had their rooms and ordered food from the room service. They spent the whole evening talking about everything that had happened since Montreal. It was a damn good thing to finally share that burden and not have to carry it alone. To raise the mood again at the end, they played a little bit on the Nintendo Switch the two had brought along, so he was definitely distracted enough at night to be able to sleep comfortably.

Chapter Text

Woking, 3rd July, 2019

"Are you coming, Lando?" Carlos shouted through the house as they both waited for the Briton with their bags packed. He had stayed with them yesterday and would repeat the whole thing today because they would go karting together. Since the track was in Farnborough and therefore close to Woking, it was a good idea to stay with them so he wouldn't have to drive home forever.

There was no answer, so Carlos gave him a questioning look, but he just shrugged his shoulders. The Spaniard sighed and started again louder, "Lando, let's go! Hurry up, or we'll go without you!"

Smiling, he lowered his gaze, as Lando probably knew as well as he did that this was just an empty threat. Carlos would never leave without him.

For another moment it was quiet and frustrated, the elder shook his head. "I'll check on him," he announced. He was just about to go to the stairs when Lando came rushing down.

"Sorry, sorry," he said breathlessly. "We can go now."

Skeptically, Carlos looked at his boyfriend's outfit and rolled his eyes. "That's my sweater," he said critically. He bent his head because he had no idea how Carlos could tell, after all, it was a McLaren sweater and it seemed to fit Lando too. How the hell did he know it wasn't Lando's sweater?

"Well, you didn't put it on so you don't seem to need it," he answered innocently, wrapping an arm around his waist. "I'm so happy, we haven't been karting for ages, Georgie."

"That's right," he remarked. It had actually been half an eternity since they had been karting together, early last year.

"I'm going to destroy you both." He grinned excitedly and Carlos looked down at him lovingly.

"I don’t think so, mi amor," he smiled, before blowing a gentle kiss on his temple.

"What are we betting on?" Lando provocatively challenged him, placing an arm on his hip.

"Doing the groceries tomorrow?" the respondent suggested. The Briton nodded in agreement and leaned over him to kiss him briefly. He whispered softly, "Deal."

When the two were finally able to let go of each other, they walked together to Carlos' car, with which they then drove to the kart track. It was a really nice, varied day they spent together and he was almost glad that Alex didn't have time to join them. With him, it would have been less relaxed - at least for him - and to be honest, he wasn't even sure if Alex really had a few appointments or if he just didn't want to run into him. Either way, it was fine with him.

Lando actually managed to drive faster than Carlos in the first lap, he himself was the fastest of all of them. As a result, the Spaniard had been persuaded by Lando that it was enough to make him go grocery shopping. So while they were having lunch at the track, Carlos pretended to be in a bad mood and finally, they agreed to go grocery shopping together tomorrow. All he could do was shake his head about them. They were so gone for each other, it was unbelievable.

"The girl at the bar has been staring at you since she got here," Lando muttered at one point while stealing some of Carlos' fries.

"Hm?" He looked up in amazement and Lando nodded towards the counter. He turned there. In fact, there was a young woman, probably his age, watching their table. She was brunette, her hair was slightly wavy and stretched over her shoulders. He noticed right away how pretty she was. He gave her a light smile before turning back to the others. "Maybe she knows us?" He guessed, and Lando snorted.

"Nonsense, she likes you!" he asserted confidently. "Go talk to her!"

"Ummm...I'm not quite over Al-" Before he could finish his quiet sentence, he was interrupted.

"Hi.“ A pleasant, bright voice, and he turned around, where the woman smiled shyly at him.

"Hey," he returned surprised. For a brief moment, it was quiet, then she blushed and stretched out her hand to him, "I'm Eileen and I saw you from over there. Somehow you looked nice, so I had to talk to you."

He grabbed her hand and slowly began to smile back. "George," he kindly returned. "It's nice to meet you, Eileen. Do you want to sit down?"

She took a quick look at her phone. "My shift doesn't start for half an hour, so why not?"

He fixed her a chair so she could sit down while Lando grinned happily. "We would go then. Will you join us later?"

"Sure. I'll still lap you in no time," he teased him and Lando just showed him his middle finger before giving him the money for lunch. He wanted to protest  and pay for it himself, but with his warning look, he‘d rather accept it. The couple said goodbye, so he was alone with Eileen.

"These are two good friends of mine before you wonder. The idiot I was talking to is Lando and the other one is Carlos," he explained to her and she nodded immediately.

"I've never seen you here before," she said.

Surprised, he bent his head. "Yes, we are here for the first time. You work here?" If she worked here, she had to have some connection to motorsport and actually recognise them, right?

"Yes, here in the restaurant, not right at the track. I don't know anything about karting," she laughed. "I just wanted to earn a bit of money in addition to my studies and here they were looking for employees, so I just applied for the job."

"What are you studying?" He followed up with interest.

"Maths and P.E. on Teaching. I just love working with children and teaching them," she raved and he couldn't help but smile. Eileen kind of fascinated him already. She seemed friendly, joyful, and just a kindhearted person in general. She also liked children, just like he did. Something deep inside him was sure that she was someone he would quickly learn to like. But maybe it was just because he was going through a difficult time and longing for love.

"What are you doing?" she asked and he tried to answer as trivially as possible, "Oh, I only drive cars."

"Taxi driver?" she asked, puzzled, which made him laugh.

"Something like that," he winked at her, and she laughed as well. He guessed she was aware she was completely wrong, but she didn't go any further, for which he was grateful. For today, he just wanted to stay 'George' and not become 'George, the Formula 1 driver'.

They used the rest of the time until her shift started to just get to know each other better. Eventually, however, she was called, which is why she got up and they said goodbye.

"Wait!" He held her back as she was on her way to the counter. Surprised, she addressed him and he looked at her hesitantly. "Can I have your number?"

"Oh, I thought you'd never ask," she breathed out relieved, and came back to him. He handed her his unlocked phone, whereupon she typed in her number before giving it back to him.

"I'll text you," he promised her, and she just nodded happily.

"See you, George," she said goodbye for the second time. He repeated her words and looked after her as she ran to the counter to start her shift. He quickly paid the bill, then he went back to the track to drive a bit.

Less than an hour later, the three of them were back in the car and drove back to Guildford. Lando gave him a knowing look through the rear-view mirror. "You look pretty happy."

"She was nice," he confirmed. "And she kind of distracted me from Alex, so... yeah. Maybe she'll do me some good."

"She also seemed really friendly. Purely optically you would fit well together," said Carlos, and Lando nodded enthusiastically.

"It's way too early to talk about a relationship. First of all, I have to get to know her better and above all tell her that I'm more or less famous," he smiled. "I can't even think about getting closer to her before that anyway."

"Yes, you have to be honest," Carlos agreed with him and continued to focus on the road.

"Who did you get that wisdom from?" Lando teased him.

"Not from you obviously," he returned dryly and raised his eyebrows. Offended, Lando pouted, whereupon Carlos laughed, "I'm just joking. Te quiero, te quiero."

"Yeah, that's what they all say." Lando crossed his arms in front of his chest and scoffed, but even he could clearly see the small smile on his lips.

They really were unbelievable.

Chapter Text

London, 5th July, 2019

"Hey," he smiled when he met Eileen in front of the restaurant. He had spent the whole day with Carlos and Lando yesterday and then invited Eileen to a date in London today, as it was the only night she had some free time before he had to go to the next Grand Prix. Although it was also the Grand Prix at Silverstone – and it was just around the corner -, he wanted to see her again beforehand, mostly to tell her what his job was.

"Hi George," she returned cheerfully and he hugged her right away. The hug felt good, but still, he didn't have that strange tingling in his stomach that he wished for. He wanted to fall in love with her at any cost. He wanted to get away from Alex, and yes, maybe he wanted to show him he didn't need him. But first and foremost, he was looking for the happiness he'd always had and hoped to find it with Eileen.

"Shall we go in?" He asked the younger one, to which she nodded. Gentleman-like, he opened the door for her so she could enter the fancy restaurant before him. He wasn't really familiar with these kinds of restaurants, but he had been here with Claire and Robert before the season had started, as they had a few things to clear up. Claire knew the owners, and the food was really excellent. Probably still a little overpriced, but Eileen was worth it. Besides, it was a bit remote, away from the hustle and bustle of the city of millions, which he very much welcomed. He didn't want fans to see them and take pictures.

"Wow," she said. "Now I'm really curious. Does a taxi driver earn that much?" She gently shoved him in the ribs and they both laughed quietly.

"I already told you I'm not a taxi driver," he returned with a grin. "I'll explain it to you right away, I promise."

The waiter at the entrance looked up when they both arrived at his place. "Have you made a reservation?" he asked.

"Yes, George Russell," he said. He nodded and looked at the list in his hand, before waving his hand to ask them to follow him.

"You were here with Claire Williams and Robert Kubica a few months ago, right?" the waiter correctly remembered.

"Yes, that's right," he said nicely as they sat down at the assigned table.

"How is it going in the team?" he asked with interest. "Is there anything new? Claire hasn't been here for so long." The waiter sighed regretfully and he gave him a cheering smile.

"Despite everything, the atmosphere in the team is quite good. I'll tell Claire to come back if you like."

He responded to his offer with a fierce nod. "We would be very happy about that!"

They talked for a moment until he ran back to the entrance to welcome new guests. Meanwhile, Eileen had leaned back and folded her arms. "Claire Williams, hm? Is that the woman in your life?"

Even though she tried to bring it over easily, he noticed the insecure yet demanding undertone in her voice, which showed him that she definitely was interested in him. Well, that had been pretty clear from the start.

"About that. She's my boss," he said relaxedly. "Don't worry, I'm not dating anyone." He paused briefly before adding with a smile, "Except for you."

A slight blush formed on her cheeks as she shyly smiled back. "So, Claire Williams is the head of the taxi company?"

"Oh, you really can't help it, can you?" He grinned and she shook her head. A waitress interrupted them briefly as she gave them the menus, which they gratefully accepted. As he opened his menu, he started to explain, "Claire Williams is the boss of Williams Racing, a Formula One team. I've been racing for them since this year. That's my job."

"That's your job?" she repeated, confused. "Racing, that's it? What's the catch?"

"There's no catch," he laughed and looked at her. "That's really all I do."

"This is a joke!" In disbelief, her eyes widened and she leaned back. "And driving a car makes that much money to be able to afford that?"

"I mean, I don't eat here every day," he said quickly. "Today is an exception. I usually cook myself or order something, like any normal person."

"Hmm." Still a bit skeptical, she scrunched her nose. "So Formula One...And how often do these races take place?"

"It's different, usually every two weeks, but sometimes there are two races in a row or the summer break and the rather long winter break. For example, we were only in Austria for a weekend last weekend. Next weekend there's one in Silverstone."

"Silverstone? It's right here! Can I come and watch? Does that cost anything? When is it exactly?" she asked him excitedly. Laughing, he grabbed her hand so she would calm down and listen to him properly.

"So, theoretically, you can come, yes. But it's not free, it's actually quite expensive." When he saw the disappointed look on her face, he quickly continued, "Unless I invite you as a guest."

"And how exactly does that work?" she asked and became quite loud.

"For that, I have to explain all this to you. The race takes place on Sundays, but we are usually at the track from Wednesday or Thursday onwards. Each team has its own building, where they can be from Thursday. These 'buildings' form the paddock. You will then get a pass from my team, with which you can get into the paddock for those days and also into our building. Right on the track, we have our boxes where the cars are. From there you could watch the race and all the things which are before it," he explained to her in more detail and she nodded a bit overwhelmed.

"What's before that?" the younger one wanted to know.

"We have a total of three sessions over Friday and Saturday in which we can drive the track to train. Saturday afternoon is our qualifying session, where we secure the starting positions for the race on Sunday. After qualifying, there's still Formula 2. This doesn't affect me, but it's still quite exciting to watch. Theoretically, Sunday before the race is a second Formula 2 race, if you want to watch it," he said trivially and her eyes got bigger.

"So much? Within three days?" she breathed stunned as he nodded in agreement. For a moment, she quietly nodded slightly then she finally decided,  "I'd like to come and see you drive."

"Then I'll get you a paddock pass." He squeezed her hand slightly. "I wanted to invite two friends of mine who wanted to come anyway."

"Lando and Carlos?" she guessed and he smiled slightly, "I don't have to invite them because they'll drive there themselves, for another team."

"So you're enemies and still friends?" she chucked up, irritated.

"That's right. The friends I invite are Tim and Nathan. They're a little pushy, but very nice, so don't worry."

"Do you have any more friends from other teams?" Eileen looked at him with interest and he immediately tensed with her question, because of course he came up with a name that he would love to say out loud, but right now it was very complicated. Still, he should probably mention it, since they would probably meet Alex sometime on the weekend. And if she found him on Instagram, it would raise questions about why he didn't tell anyone about Alex, even though they were obviously friends.

"Yes, basically we all get along very well", he said cautiously. "My best friend has always been Alex Albon, not only in the paddock but also in private."

Again, she seemed confused. Slowly she intertwined their fingers and brushed over the back of his hand before gently asking, "Has been?"

"We've had a few minor differences of opinion lately, but that's going to work out," he tried to say as relaxed as possible, even if it wasn't nearly the whole truth. It weren't small differences of opinion, it were bloody big differences, and he had absolutely no idea if it would ever clear up again. Maybe if he was in a new relationship at some point, yeah. Maybe then. But was he just ready for a new relationship?

His gaze fell on Eileen, who was still looking at him compassionately, then on their intertwined fingers. "I'm sure it'll be fine again. He surely doesn't want to lose someone like you," she said, sounding so honest that his heart just melted away.

That was just the affection he needed right now. And even if it didn't come from Alex, it was still kind of good enough. Maybe a new relationship would work after all.

Chapter Text

Silverstone, 12th July, 2019

Together with Eileen, he entered the paddock on Friday morning. After she had stayed at his place, they had left extra early today, with his reasoning that he would have enough time to show her everything then. Unofficially, he just wanted to avoid running into Alex because he knew the Thai Briton well enough to know that he would come as late as possible to use every minute of sleep. Because the race was close to his home, he was, fortunately, able to sleep at home and didn't have to go to a hotel, which would have been another risk of running into him. But everything went smoothly.

"So right here at the beginning you can see the motorhomes of Mercedes, Ferrari, and Red Bull," he said, pointing to the corresponding buildings. "I'm a Mercedes Junior driver, so I'll probably drive for them sometime. They're the most dominant team right now, so it's really an honour if they want you."

"So you're a natural, aren't you?" she smiled, and he shrugged with embarrassment, before he said, "You could call it like that, but don't expect me to win the race on Sunday or anything. My current car isn't exactly the best. If Robert or I end up in the top ten, that would be a dream already."

"Okay, my expectations are low," she joked. "No, seriously, George. You're probably gonna fascinate me anyway, so don't worry about it. And if the race goes bad, I'll be happy to cheer you up afterwards, if that's what you want."

"When I'm in the car, there's nothing to pressure me, so don't get your hopes up." Somehow it was nice to be able to make those little jokes with her that he used to do with Alex. Of course, it wasn't as familiar as with the older one, let alone as loose, but it was enough for him as it was.

They continued walking through the paddock and he showed her everything, especially the orange McLaren Motorhome, where he spent most of his free time on race weekends. He definitely wanted to use this weekend to make Eileen get to know Carlos and Lando better, as she would definitely hear from them more often in the future. Of course, they wouldn't be with the two McLaren drivers permanently. On the one hand, because they probably didn't trust her enough to tell her about their relationship, so they had to hold back when it came to touching and kissing – and nobody wanted that, right?

On the other hand, because Eileen and him also needed time together before Tim and Nathan came, who, unfortunately, or fortunately – depending on how you took it – only made it to the race on Sunday.

"And this is the Williams Motorhome and therefore mine too," he finished his tour when they stopped in front of the Motorhome. Impressed, Eileen turned to the entrance of the paddock again and let her gaze wander over everything before nodding her head towards the door.

"Can we go in?" she asked. He agreed with her and led her into the building. The tour did not last long, so they sat in the cafeteria about twenty minutes later to finally have some breakfast.

They talked about the upcoming training sessions until his race engineer interrupted them to pick him up for the team briefing. He took Eileen to his driver's room, where he gave her a short kiss on the cheek before going to the briefing.

It took until after the second free practice before they had some time to themselves again. Satisfied, he entered his driver's room behind Eileen. As she leaned against the wall, smiling, he placed his helmet on the shelf and slipped out of his racing suit.

"It was really unbelievable, these cars are so fast and so much louder than expected," she remarked in a good mood as he swapped his fireproof shirt for a team shirt.

"Yeah," he agreed. Although he had only driven a few laps in the second practice, he was still exhausted and was looking forward to just driving home and going to sleep.

"What do you have to do now?"

"I have to give interviews first, then I have a short team briefing. After that, I'm all yours," he smiled at her, putting on some fresh jeans. Eileen suddenly came up to him and wrapped her arms tightly around his waist. Surprised, he returned her hug before whispering in her ear, "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, I'm just really grateful to you for bringing me here, even though we haven't known each other that long," she breathed. Touched, he pushed her closer to him and stroked gently over her back.

"I'm glad you're here," he admitted. "And that I can just be myself with you."

"You have nothing to hide, you're great the way you are, George." She stepped back a bit to look at him. "Really. You're charming, handsome, funny, courteous and-"

Before she could continue, he leaned over to her and just kissed her. A little surprised, Eileen paused before finally returning the kiss. Their lips moved gently against each other. It wasn't a bad kiss, no, but he couldn't help comparing it to the kiss with Alex, which had felt a thousand times better. He didn't feel that explosion in his body, no endless butterflies, nothing like that. Of course, his heart was racing, but only because it was an unfamiliar situation.

"Hey, George! I-oh," a voice interrupted them suddenly. Shocked, they drove apart and he looked at Lando, who was standing in the door frame. "Sorry," he said, embarrassed. "I should have knocked."

"You should have, yes," he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "What's going on?"

"Can we have a word?" he asked.

"I'm going down to the entrance," Eileen offered and he smiled gratefully. She shyly kissed his cheek, then left the room.

Meanwhile, Lando closed the door behind her and stared at him skeptically. "Are you two already together?"

"I don't know, maybe," he replied shrugging. "That was our first kiss."

"You don't really know her," he criticised and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"First of all, you were the one who tried to set us up. Second of all, you and Carlos weren't any better."

"But you said you weren't ready for a relationship yet! And please don't compare that to Carlos and my relationship, we had known each other for four months before we got together," Lando said seriously before he started more gently, "Does Alex know about Eileen?"

He snorted contemptuously. "Why would he know? He doesn't care anymore since we kissed." He quickly interrupted himself when he realised he didn't want to tell Lando about the kiss. However, it was already too late now.

Shocked, Lando's eyes widened and his jaw literally dropped. "You kissed?!" he exclaimed in shock.

Caught, he ran through his face and slowly sat down on the small couch. It annoyed him that now three people knew about it through stupid situations. "Yes, we kissed in France after the race. But he pushed me away and wanted to pretend that nothing had happened," he muttered powerlessly, as it was still hurting whenever he thought about it.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he hooked slightly offended and sat down next to him. "I would have been there for you!"

"I didn't want you to be between the fronts again, and Alex wouldn't want that either. He cheated on Jack, that's all he sees. He doesn't care that he broke my heart," he grumbled bitterly.

"I'm pretty sure he cares." Lando put one hand on his back and gently drove over it. "You know, Alex loves you incredibly, in his opinion maybe too much. Maybe there's only Jack for him right now, but he cares about you, George, so freaking much."

He let his words sink for a moment before he sighed heavily. "I just miss it when things were still uncomplicated between us. Right now, I have the feeling that one moment we'd like to kiss each other and then yell at each other the next."

"Then maybe you should sort out your emotional mess around Alex before you jump into a new relationship because that's not how it works with Eileen. You don't have feelings for her, George. You have feelings for Alex."

That was the reality he didn't want to face. He didn't want to hear that he wasn't ready for a new relationship because he was still too attached to Alex. He wanted to keep his feelings for him out of the way, and that with Eileen. He had already made that decision when he had kissed her, and now there was no turning back.

"Thank you, Lando," he whispered quietly. "Can you give me a minute?"

"Of course." He hugged him quickly before leaving his room.

Desperately, he dropped his head back and stared at the ceiling. He had feelings for Alex, yeah, but it didn't matter because he didn't respond the way he wanted him to.

So he wouldn't break up with Eileen until he was absolutely sure that Alex and him wouldn't turn out to be something after all. Maybe it wasn't really fair to her, but he didn't think much about it. He just wanted to forget everything about Alex.

Chapter Text

Hockenheimring, 28th July, 2019

That could not be true!

He watched in dismay as Robert was cheered on and embraced from all sides. It had just been revealed that both Alfa Romeos were subsequently punished with a 10-second stop-and-go penalty after their vehicles obviously did not comply with the regulations. Since the race was already over, it was converted into a 30-second penalty, so Robert had now landed on P10 and thus had taken the first point of the season while he was on P11. Although that was his best result so far, it still felt miserable.

If this one corner had been better after his pit stop, he would have gotten the point now. It wasn't that he wasn't happy for Robert or his team, but it was like he was just merging with the environment, making him invisible. Of course, they were celebrating, but he was still there, wasn't he?

Sighing, he stood up and walked up to his teammate. "Congratulations on P10," he congratulated him as he patted him on the back.

"Thank you," the older one replied happily. "You'll get your points too, don't worry."

He smiled briefly in response, before stepping back a bit. Suddenly a tight feeling came over him and he had an urgent need to get some fresh air. So he hurriedly left the motorhome through the back exit to take a deep breath. What the fuck was that? Why couldn't he just be happy about P11? Why did it hurt so much that no one cared about him?

He noticed tears forming in the corners of his eyes and blinked quickly to suppress them. He really needed to talk to someone, but who? Lando had had a bad race himself and would probably just be looking for Carlos's proximity. He really didn't want to disturb their togetherness.

Eileen was an option, of course. After they had agreed on the last race weekend that they would try a relationship, but they didn't want to rush anything, everything went perfectly between them – apart from the fact that he still didn't really have strong feelings for her yet. He could call her, but right now he was craving physical closeness. He wanted to be hugged and comforted by someone, no more and no less.

Unfortunately, of course, he also knew who he was longing for – it was Alex. Only he could make him feel better than anyone else, only with him he would be able to calm down, only with him he would feel 100% understood.

Even though he knew that he theoretically shouldn't pay him a visit, he ran to his motorhome to do exactly that. Maybe they could forget all the 'little' things of the last few weeks and just talk, he didn't want any more.

A staff member described the way to the Toro Rosso driver's rooms. Nervously, he went there and thought about how to explain his appearance. Should he just say he felt shitty after the race? Or should he start a general conversation and hope he would feel better?

He was ripped out of his mind when he suddenly bumped into a person. He staggered a few steps back as the man turned around. The apologise got stuck in his throat when he recognised him.

"Where are you headed to?" Jack wanted to know and crossed his arms in front of his chest. He took a look at him in disbelief. He could ask him the same thing. What the hell was he doing here?! Didn't he have something better to do than spending his weekend here?

When he realised Jack was still looking at him invitingly, he caught himself again. "I wanted to talk to Alex," he said.

"About what?" he hooked, checking, and he rolled his eyes. Who was he? The police or what?

"About the race," he hissed coldly. He was about to pass Jack when he grabbed him rudely by the upper arm. "Mate, what's wrong with you?" He raged at him and turned back to him. Since when were they enemies?

"He doesn't want to see you," Jack remarked monotonously. He pulled himself out of his grip and just snorted, "And how do you know that?"

"He's my boyfriend, remember?" the Briton painfully reminded him of reality.

"And that's why you automatically know what he's thinking?" Angrily, he looked at him, after all, he knew Alex a lot better than he did. "You don't know him."

"I know him well enough to know his weaknesses, for example. I'm sure you don't know them. Or do you know how you can always make him sleep with you?" Innocently he smiled and licked his lips. He shuddered at his words. What kind of idiot did Alex fall in love with?! He wished Alex would have heard those words right now, just disgusting.

Of course, he knew Jack was just trying to provoke him, but he couldn't hold back any longer. Just the thought of Alex giving himself up to Jack and them sleeping together left a stabbing pain all over his body. Jack didn't deserve to be so close to Alex. Alex was way too good for him.

"You disgust me," he muttered, poking his index finger into his chest. "If you want to, we can ask Alex if he wants to see me or not."

"Oh, please, George," he only grinned stupidly. "You've lost the fight against me before, you'd lose it a second time. Don't you notice anything?" He leaned to his ear and breathed, "You were never more than an occupation for Alex when he needed someone to be there for him. I'm his boyfriend, he loves me and he wants to be with me. So do us all a favor and get out of his life." He pointed at the door before stepping back. "If you'll excuse me, I have to congratulate my boyfriend on his good race."

With those words, he walked around the corner, while he remained petrified. The last statements almost anaesthetised his body and he felt nothing but infinite emptiness. Maybe Jack was right, maybe Alex didn't like him as much as he used to, but he knew he cared about him. No matter what happened.

He wanted to yell after Jack that he had kissed his boyfriend, but he knew Alex would never forgive him for that. He had to come out of this relationship on his own, and he had nothing to do with it. He could only hope it would happen soon because Jack was definitely not a person to fit Alex. Besides, he had to show Jack that he couldn't do what he wanted with him.

So he tightened his shoulders and followed him around the corner with a little delay, but he stopped right there. Jack and Alex were kissing in the door frame of the driver's room, with the Brit's hands on Alex's ass. He was literally groping him and all he could feel was the pain as this image burned into his brain. He guessed that was the final proof that he didn't play a role anymore. Alex really was in love with Jack.

Jack slowly pushed him into the room without interrupting the kiss, then kicked the door behind them with his foot. He quickly turned away and ran out of the motorhome, right to the exit of the paddock, where he called a taxi. Now tears ran down his cheeks, which he couldn't hold back anymore. Alex and Jack's kiss had given him the rest.

Almost an hour later, he laid on his hotel bed and just stared at the ceiling. So far, he had only showered before he had thrown himself on the bed and had sunken in his tears. Meanwhile, he had calmed down a bit. Maybe it was just the urge to hear Alex's encouraging words that made that stupid kiss feel even worse than it was.

He grabbed his phone for the first time since the race and immediately saw the many missed calls from his parents, Tim, Nathan, and above all Eileen. His girlfriend had also texted him several messages saying she was proud of him and had also sent him a photo showing her in his Williams sweater. He smiled faintly and replied, 'Looks great! I'm pretty exhausted. We'll talk tomorrow, okay? I'm looking forward to seeing you, baby'.

A bad feeling came over him as he thought of how she would read this message at home smiling, while he didn't even really have feelings for her. Lando was right, he only loved Alex, and he couldn't talk himself out of it. With Eileen, however, he had the feeling of being loved and he longed for that feeling. In a way, she gave him exactly what he wanted. And right now, when he was worse off than ever, he didn't want to lose it at any price.

Chapter Text

Milton Keynes, 31st July, 2019

"I miss you already," Eileen muttered, wrapping her arms around his neck. He gently brought her closer to him by the hip.

"I'll be back on Monday and on Wednesday we'll go on vacation. Until then, you'll have to endure it, then we'll enjoy our free time," he breathed back.

"Alright," she whispered to his lips and smiled briefly. "I will survive."

They sank into a gentle kiss, in which she sighed happily. He, on the other hand, just liked it when she was happy. When they broke apart, he grabbed his suitcase and opened his front door.

"I'll call you when I get there, okay?"

She immediately nodded in haste. "Yes, please. Good luck and don't crash."

"And please leave my house in one piece," he returned smiling, kissing her forehead one last time before leaving the house. She had to go to work later, so she was allowed to stay at his for a while. Besides, he trusted her enough that she wouldn't have a party in his house while he was gone.

The race weekend in Hungary was the last one before the summer break. Eileen and he had spontaneously decided on Monday to fly to Croatia together for two weeks. Fortunately, her boss was able to spare her for two weeks on such short notice, so it wasn't a problem.

Today he would fly with his team for once because Carlos and Lando had something to do during the day and would not fly to Hungary until late afternoon. Alex, on the other hand, hadn't flown with them to the last races anyway, probably because he just didn't want to be near him. Well, the last few days Alex had actually tried to reach him several times, but he had always avoided it. He had left him messages like 'do you want to talk about the race?' or 'is everything okay?'. Somehow he was glad that he obviously cared about him, but it pissed him off that he pretended everything was as always because it really wasn't.

His boyfriend had fucking hurt him with his words, Alex had cheated on Jack with him and broken his heart several times. How could he still pretend everything was normal after all of this?

Meanwhile, he was able to understand his decision more and more in Barcelona. He realised for himself that he couldn't focus on Eileen when he kept trying to get close to Alex. That didn't mean he would have done the same thing, no. Because if Alex would confess his feelings to him, he would always choose him because he was the one he always wanted deep down. But as long as Jack was around, that wouldn't happen, so he had to stay away from the older one.

They landed in Mogyoród in the early afternoon. While most of the team headed straight to the paddock, he went to the hotel to check in and put his suitcase away first. It wasn't until the evening that he entered the paddock for the first time, where he walked the track with his engineers.

They all had dinner together in the cafeteria and talked about the upcoming weekend, where he noticed how cheerful everyone in the team was. The point in Germany really seemed to have raised the mood a lot.

After talking to Robert and Claire for half an eternity, he really just wanted to get his things in the driver's room and then drive back to the hotel, but this plan was thwarted right at the first point.

Because when he opened the door to the room, his eyes fell on Alex, who had made himself comfortable on a chair. He looked up from his phone without a word, while he quickly closed the door behind him.

"How long have you been here for?" He wanted to know, overwhelmed. He skilfully ignored his beating heart, after all, it was nothing new that Alex's presence made him insecure and crazy.

"For around ten minutes," he replied. "Why are you ignoring me?"

Was he serious? The reason was more than obvious if he would think for a moment. "Are you serious, Alex?" He brought out stunned and exhaled audibly. "Why would I ignore you, hmm?"

"If I knew, I wouldn't ask," he replied calmly.

"Okay, I'll tell you what's happened in the last few weeks. We kissed, you pushed me away, pretended nothing happened, but always made sure we weren't alone. Then you just exposed me in front of my friends by letting me look like an idiot again, before your oh-so-great boyfriend tells me that you don't want to see me. And now you're acting like everything's the same as always, but it's not for fuck's sake!" He enumerated angrily, before he thoughtfully said, "Why am I avoiding you? I don't know."

Alex looked at him speechless for a moment, then he found his language again, "You talked to Jack?"

"Yes, after the Grand Prix in Germany I wanted to see you, but he intercepted me and sent me away because you didn't seem to want to see me," he muttered. Was that really the only thing Alex took away from his emotional outburst?

"Bullshit, George! Of course, I wanted to see you! I'm going to talk to him and make it clear to him that he shouldn't do that in the future, I'm really sorry," Alex sighed and shook his head a little.

"That's not what I'm talking about! My point is that you act as if that kiss didn't mean anything to you, as if you could just push it away when it meant so much to me," he exclaimed hurt. The gaze of the older one became more guilty, but he was silent, which is why he said quietly, "It breaks my heart to know that I can't have you. And I don't want to make you decide again because you're gonna put Jack over me anyway. But this whole thing doesn't work for me anymore."

Those words hurt him when he had said them, but that was the only way to sort out all his emotional chaos. Immediately the elder stood up and walked up to him with a pleading look. "George, please. I need you as my best friend."

"And I need you as my boyfriend!" He exclaimed desperately. "If you're not ready, that's okay, but I don't want to keep breaking my heart!" He pointed towards the door and Alex seemed to wrestle with him.

"George, I-," he started a last attempt to dissuade him from his plan, but he interrupted him in a trembling voice, "You should really leave now."

Alex didn't move for a moment, then he dropped his head and left his room. Meanwhile, he slowly slid down against the wall. Horrifyingly, it wasn't as painful as he had imagined it would be. Of course, it hurt a lot, but somewhere it was also liberating. Now he could finally focus on Eileen.

He took his phone out of his pocket and asked Lando if he was still in the paddock, after all, he had asked him at Silverstone to keep him updated about Alex. Less than five seconds later, he sent him a selfie back, showing him probably lying on a massage bench with Carlos. He also asked him to come by.

He didn't let himself be told twice and headed to the McLaren Motorhome, where he was sent to Carlos's driver's room. Lando waved cheerfully to him as he entered. Then he gently detached himself from his sleeping boyfriend's arms and came towards him. "If you want to talk about something, we can go to my room. Actually, we wanted to be at the hotel a long time ago, but Carlos fell asleep and I couldn't bring myself to wake him up."

"Going over sounds good," he simply replied, and they sneaked out of the room.

As soon as they had sat on the sofa together, he started to tell Lando about the conversation with Alex. In the end, he seemed a little overwhelmed but nodded thoughtfully.

"And how are you doing now?" he wanted to know and looked at him worriedly.

"Better than I thought," he admitted. "It's kind of liberating. At least now I can really focus on Eileen."

"You should tell her about Alex," the younger one remarked and leaned back a little. "After all, that's a part of you she should know about."

"I know." He sighed softly. "I'll talk to her on vacation and explain everything to her."

"And the kiss?" he asked curiously.

"That's no longer relevant," he returned monotonously and Lando shook his head slightly. Upon his questioning look, he muttered, "If he's no longer relevant, you could tell her about it."

He let those words linger for a moment. Yes, of course, Lando was right with his indirect statement that the kiss was not irrelevant. But he didn't see any reason to unsettle Eileen, because Alex didn't want him. Then why should he tell her?

Chapter Text

Split, 12th August, 2019

Perplexed, he clicked on the pop-up notification that was displayed to him. 'Alex Albon and Pierre Gasly are swapping teams for the rest of the season!' was the title that immediately captivated him.

In fact, Alex was promoted to RedBull and would end the year with them, as Toro Rosso and RedBull had just announced. A wave of pride flooded his body as he thought about how far Alex had come with that step. He had really earned it, his races so far had been excellent. He was sure he was out of his mind with joy. He briefly thought about whether he should congratulate him, but then he decided not to.

Although there was no bad blood between them from his side – and probably not from Alex's side either – but at least he had broken off contact, so it felt strange to text him now that he had earned this place.

He had been doing quite well since Hungary. He was able to focus really well on Eileen, so he could even say that he had feelings for her. Not particularly strong, passionate feelings, but feelings at all. Alex was also surprisingly little in his mind which he was very satisfied with.

Besides, he had planned to talk to him again after the summer break. He wanted to tell him about Eileen and how happy he was with her, so there was no reason for him to try to destroy his relationship. At least no a reason beyond friendship, because he still thought Jack was a total asshole and didn't really love Alex, he just used him for his own...well, satisfaction. He guessed that wasn't really his thing anymore though.

"What are you looking at?" Eileen ripped him out of his mind. From behind, she wrapped her arms around him and pressed a gentle kiss on his neck. Until just now she had been in their cottage to put on swimwear for the pool, while he had already gone out.

Smiling, he turned his head to her. "Oh, Alex just got promoted to a better team, so I read an article about that," he answered honestly before he kissed her for a moment. The only thing that bothered him in this relationship was that the kisses still didn't feel so exciting.

"What exactly happened between you? You said you broke off contact in Hungary, but why?" Irritated, she sat down on the lounger next to him. That was probably the moment when he finally had to tell her everything because until now he had only told her that they had had several fights and then finally ended everything in Hungary.

He sat up and sighed quietly. "Do you promise me you won't get mad?" He made sure. Instantly she nodded, and he began to tell, "At the beginning of the year we got closer and closer and I realised at some point that I had feelings for him, which scared me so I suppressed them. But then Jack suddenly came along. He was constantly flirting with him, and Alex wasn't totally averse to him either. It bothered me because it had always been just Alex and me. We've always been best friends and no one else has ever been more important to us than the other. With Jack, that's changed. Alex didn't just start ghosting me, he started ghosting Lando and everyone else, too. Then I confessed my feelings to him at a race in May, after Carlos said that one can tell that Alex has feelings for me, too, and I thought it would help me convince him not to go out with Jack anymore."

"But you couldn't convince him," Eileen deduced herself.

He nodded in agreement and shrugged his shoulders. "He said he had feelings for me, but he wanted to focus on Jack, and then put our friendship on hold."

"You haven't been friends since May?!" She looked at him disillusioned and one could clearly see her confusion. "I thought you were still more or less friends with him when we got together?"

"Yes, well," he briefly paused. What was the best way to explain this to her without mentioning the kiss? "We got along more or less but didn't talk about what had happened which was stupid. At some point, his boyfriend got jealous and made it clear to me to stay away from him. I've been doing it since Hungary."

So he had changed the events a bit, but it wasn't entirely a lie. Besides, Eileen seemed satisfied with this answer and looked at him compassionately.

"I'm sorry you lost him," she said honestly. "Maybe he will part with this Jack someday and you will be able to make up."

"Maybe." He reached out to her and his girlfriend immediately took his hand. "You have to know I don't have feelings for him anymore, right? I promise Lando, Carlos, other friends, and especially you are everything I need right now."

A little relieved, she began to smile. "I would never doubt that, George," she breathed back lovingly and stroked over the back of his hand. For a short, while it was quiet between them, then she got up. "Shall we go into the pool?" she asked and he nodded immediately.

They spent most of the day in the water before going grocery shopping quickly in the afternoon. While Eileen was preparing dinner, he moved into the living room to call Lando again. The Briton had actually gone to Italy with Carlos and his parents and spent his holidays there. They were on the phone almost every day because Lando always had to ask if he was doing okay.

As soon as he had pressed the button for the video call, it was accepted and the younger one grinned at him. Laughing, he raised an eyebrow and remarked, "That was fast."

"Carlos is taking a shower and I'm bored. That's why I was on the phone anyway," he explained. "Did you hear about Alex?"

"His promotion to RedBull? Of course, there's no way to not know it, it's everywhere," he smiled. "He deserves it."

Lando nodded a bit. "Yes, he does, but that's not what I meant. I mean his move to Monaco away from Milton Keynes."

He froze when he said those words. Alex had moved to Monaco? Why the hell would he do that? He had said so many times that he loved Milton Keynes and that he just belonged there. He never wanted to leave his family, so why now?

"What?" He hung on, grimly. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, of course. I was just on the phone to congratulate him, and he told me. He moved into an apartment with Jack," he grumbled annoyed. "Now seriously, they can't move in together now! For how long have they been together? Like a day?"

After these words, he had to smile slightly, even if he didn't like the idea that Alex was now living with Jack in a town he didn't even know at all and where there was no one to make sure he was okay. What was Alex supposed to do if they had a fight? Go to Max, Daniel, Lewis, or Charles? He knew the Thai well enough to know that these were not the ones he would like to go to if he had problems.

"They'll know what they're doing, after all, they're grown-ups," he reminded Lando, hoping somehow this plan would lead to them breaking up. "Or they notice that the relationship isn't working."

"Hopefully." Theatrically, he dropped his back on the bed. "Jack's not good for him. I have no idea what the last time was I saw Alex. Jack's everywhere, trying to shield everyone from him like Alex is his property."

"I know, Lando. I've already experienced it," he remarked and wanted to follow up a bit, when Carlos' voice sounded, "Who are you on the phone with, amor?"

Lando's head turned to the side. Immediately his eyes widened and his face got bright red. "G-George," he answered before he cleared his throat.

"Do I want to know how much Carlos is wearing?" He joked because when Lando looked at Carlos, it was clear that he had seen something he liked.

"I'm not naked, don't worry," Carlos shouted in the background. Lando grinned and turned the camera around so that he could see his boyfriend, who was only dressed in briefs and stood in front of the closet.

"Thank you, Lando, but I would have believed you without seeing it," he reproached. The Briton giggled and switched back to the inside camera.

"I'm definitely under-fucked," he sighed dramatically with a side view on Carlos. "He won't have sex with me anymore."

He was used to these conversations by now, Lando had given up hiding his sex life with Carlos. That didn't mean that he wanted to know about it though. The Spaniard laughed harshly at these words, "Because my parents' room is right next door."

"I wanted to take a shower with you and you said no," Lando pouted.

"Tomorrow night we'll have the house to ourselves," was the answer Lando got, and he ran through his face.

"I definitely know who I won't call tomorrow," he remarked quietly, to which both laughed.

They talked a little bit about their vacations until Eileen called him for dinner, which they ended up with. The two of them spent a nice evening before they fell into bed in the evening.

Chapter Text

Spa, 31st August, 2019

Without any emotion, he picked around his dinner and just couldn't comprehend what had happened. Time and again he saw the accident of Formula 2 racing in front of his inner eye. Then Claire's voice rang through his head as she delivered the harrowing news to him and Robert. "Anthoine Hubert died of his injuries in the hospital," she had told them before offering professional psychological help if they needed it. He had felt her gaze on him and he was aware that the offer was aimed more at him.

Anthoine had been one of his teammates at ART Grand Prix in 2017, together with Jack and Nirei they had mixed up the GP3 series. This had made them friends quickly and they had also spent time together from time to time. When he had seen the accident, he had been shocked, but he had never thought Anthoine wouldn't make it. Now he noticed how this perfect picture of racing, which he thought every driver had since the introduction of the halo, was dissolved. They thought the halo would protect any driver. They were so wrong...

As soon as he looked at the noodles on his plate, he felt sick, so he finally pushed them away. He wouldn't get anything down anyway. His coach next to him also struggled with his food, but unlike him he forced himself to eat a bit.

Since the news had reached the paddock, it was strangely quiet everywhere, as everyone mourned and pondered their thoughts. The team only spoke when it really had to be, but then only very quietly so as not to interrupt the mourning. For the most part, however, communication was through facial expressions and gestures, which was more than right for him, because his throat was dry and he was afraid that if someone started a conversation with him, he wouldn't be able to bring out one clever sentence.

He got his phone and looked at the message Lando had sent him several hours ago. 'You wanna come over?' it said. After ignoring it at first, because he didn't really know what to feel, he would now answer him. Did he want to be with his friends or not? Was he even going to do anything today?

Now he had made a decision and texted him back that he would leave right away before he got up to take his tray away. An exchange of glances with Aleix was enough to make him understand that he was going to visit his friends. Aleix gave him one last compassionate smile, then he left the cafeteria.

The paddock was still as quiet as it had been after the accident. A few journalists were still there, but they left him alone, anyway he was not sure if they had noticed him at all. So he was able to enter the McLaren Motorhome undisturbed, where it was just as quiet as his own. An employee walked past him and put a hand on his shoulder. It was an almost friendly gesture, which was by no means normal, but what was normal today? At that moment, they were all just one big family.

Slowly, he walked to Lando's driver's room, where he had been several times this weekend, and opened the door. The Briton had put his head on his boyfriend's shoulder, while the two were just staring at the floor. When he entered, Lando tried to smile at him but failed miserably.

Although the younger had known Anthoine only briefly, that was not the point today. It didn't matter how well you knew Anthoine, when you were part of motorsport and something like that happened, it took everyone by shock. Some might be stronger than others, but it was precisely them drivers who it hit the hardest because, in the end, they were the ones who would get back into the car and thus put themselves in this life-threatening situation.

He slid down from on the wall opposite of them and put his legs up. They still hadn't said a word, because there was nothing they could have said. One just couldn't describe the mood, now you just wanted to be with the people you loved the most.

At that thought, Eileen shot through his head. He wondered if she'd heard about the accident. Maybe he'd get in touch with her later, but he just didn't feel like it right now because she wouldn't understand. It wasn't normal mourning that was going on here, but something much deeper. As an outsider, you couldn't possibly grasp that.

He didn’t know how long they just sat in the room in silence, but at some point, it knocked quietly, and Zak stuck his head in. When he saw him, he smiled forcibly. "Hey, you three. How are you?" he asked carefully.

Neither Lando nor he could say anything which Carlos probably noticed, which is why he took over the talking. "Fairly bad," he admitted, and he had to smile sadly, as those words did not even begin to describe his emotional state.

"I just wanted to let you know that the FIA has just announced that the race will not be cancelled tomorrow, I'm sorry," he sighed quietly. "If something is on your mind, you can always come to my or Andreas' office. I hope you know that." Those words were mostly addressed to his two drivers, but then Zak looked up at him and said, surprisingly, "That goes for you too, George. At times like this, all teams have to stick together."

He only managed to make a faint nod, even though he would have liked to say more. It was touching that Zak said that, especially since McLaren was somehow a part of his past. He had done a Formula 1 test drive with them for the first time in 2014, which he was eternally grateful for.

McLaren's CEO left the room, whereupon it was quiet again until Lando broke through. "I don't understand why they don't cancel the race," he breathed in a trembling voice. "Do they have any idea how we feel?"

"Probably not," he returned bitterly. "Otherwise they would have cancelled it."

It became quiet again. Lando cuddled even closer to Carlos, who tenderly ran through his hair, and closed his eyes. He was just about to do it like him when the door opened again.

A shiver ran down his back as he looked into Alex's glassy eyes. The elder looked back at him and whispered, "Sorry, I guess I'd better go back."

He was about to turn around when he interrupted this action. "Stay," he begged him softly. Surprised, Alex turned back to him before nodding slightly and entering. Shortly afterwards, he settled down next to him, leaving a small gap between them. He leaned against the wall and ran through his hair. The sleeves of his sweater slipped up slightly, exposing his forearm.

Shocked, he looked at the bruises that covered Alex's skin, and jerkingly, he was pulled out of his thoughts around Anthoine. What the hell was that? Nobody could tell him it was normal!

He swallowed heavily as he turned his gaze away. The bruises looked like fingerprints as if someone had held him far too tightly by his arms. Could it have been Jack? No, right? Alex would never let that happen. But then who had done that to him? Someone in his team? Or a stranger? Did something happen to him? Maybe he had an accident and they were just normal bruises? Then again, Alex was not a clumsy person. Of course, it happened that he bumped into something or slipped with a knife, but what did you have to do to have so many bruises on your forearm, which were almost all in the same distance? It seemed way too much like fingerprints for it to have been just an accident.

If Jack was really responsible for this, he should not come near him. It was clear to him that he needed to talk to Alex about it. Not this weekend, because enough had already happened, but definitely next.

Of course, Alex wouldn't tell him the truth right away and would maybe even reject him, he was aware of that. However, he didn't plan to be shaken off, because there was no stopping him when Jack abused Alex. It didn't matter if he was his best friend or not, because he always loved him with all his heart. Whether it was friendship or going beyond that, let's leave it. All that mattered was that he didn't want the people he loved most to get hurt, and one of those people was the older one, had been for most of his life.

Chapter Text

Milton Keynes, 12th September, 2019

"I just don't get it," he said puzzled, looking at his beer bottle in front of him.

Lando next to him sighed just as desperately. "He can figure out what you want to talk to him about, and he knows fully well that he can't avoid you when it comes to that. That's why he's avoiding you before you can even talk to him."

Who were they talking about? Alex, about whom else? On the weekend in Monza, he wanted to fulfil his plan and address him about the bruises that had multiplied and now even sporadically decorated his neck. Whatever it was, it wasn't good at all. Alex desperately needed their help if they didn't want things to get worse. He was sure of his assumption that Jack abused him. Whether it was 'just' beating or something worse, he didn't know, because the older one consistently ran out of his way.

When he had seen him in the paddock on Thursday and called for him, he was quick with running away. It was hurtful, but then he had convinced himself that he was just in a hurry. The same thing had happened on Friday after the first free practice though. They had run into each other for a short time, but before he could open his mouth, Alex had already passed him with the words 'Sorry, no time'. Saturday after qualifying the same thing. And when he finally had enough on Sunday and had waited in front of his driver's room, Alex was practically running away from him when he had spotted him. Of course, he had followed him immediately, but he had lost him after a few corners. It was pointless, Alex didn't even give him a chance to talk to him.

"But why doesn't he want to be helped?" He exclaimed. "It's obvious he's not okay! He's completely shutting himself off from all his friends. This move to Monaco is a disaster. How can we help him when he is so far away?!" Frustrated, he pulled at his hair and forced himself to take a deep breath. God, he'd love to drag Alex back to Milton Keynes himself. Anything, just to get him away from Jack.

"Calm down, we'll find a solution", Lando tried to appease him. "We just have to think carefully, then we'll definitely come up with something.

"Okay, okay." He did as he was told and tried to calm down. After multiple deep breaths in and out, he was able to stop the nervous swaying of his leg. "What's your plan?"

"I could try again to get him to talk to you, he's not ignoring me. When I asked him about the bruises, I didn't get far, he always says he's bumped into something."

"Oh, bullshit!" He hissed angrily. "That asshole beats him. We should just call the police straight away!"

"We don't have any proof," Lando reminded him, and he turned to him stunned.

"No proof?!" He repeated. "Did you see Alex? His skin color will be blue if it goes on like this!" Of course, it was exaggerated, but in his eyes, it was like that. Every bruise that adorned his body was one too much, no matter how it was created. However, the fact that Alex obviously let his boyfriend hit him was definitely going too far, and it bothered him tremendously that there was nothing he could do about it. He'd like to pay them a visit with Lando to really get Alex out of there, but when he talked about shutting down, he meant that. Alex had told Lando that he had moved to Monaco, but no one knew his address. Not Lando, not Max, not Charles, and certainly not him, they'd all asked. For some - obvious - reason, Alex didn't want to tell anyone.

"Okay, it's not that bad. Maybe he really just bumped into something," the smaller one thought and he snorted disdainfully.

"Yes, I always bump my neck and arms," he replied ironically, before folding his arms in front of his chest. "Notice for yourself, right?"

"But there's no guarantee it's Jack," he warned him. "Just because we're not his biggest fans doesn't mean we can just blame him if we don't have proof."

"Who else could it have been?" He asked the counter-question and raised his eyebrows. "Jack won't let Alex go out with anyone."

"I don't know." He closed his eyes helplessly. "I want to help him too, George, but he's not making it easy for us. And what shall we do if he will not allow help?"

"I'm not going to give up," he made it clear and got up to walk back and forth thoughtfully. "I could ask his siblings for the address, they have to know it."

"This is going to cause a lot of fuss. We can't spread panic if we're not absolutely sure what's going on," the McLaren driver stopped him.

Annoyed, he moaned, "Well, then not. But we have to do something, that's for sure."

"I don't know," he doubted, looking up at him. "Alex doesn't want help", he stressed again. "Maybe we should accept that."

"No!" He vehemently contradicted him and shook his head demonstratively. He just didn't want to realise that they couldn't help him, because there needed to be something they should be able to do.

"Why are you so obsessed with this when we obviously can't do anything?!" Lando asked and he realised his friend was slowly losing hope in his mind.

"Because I love him!" He almost screamed before continuing sadly, "I've tried to deny it long enough, but it doesn't work anymore. If you want to know why I'm worried sick about him, the answer is love. Imagine you saw Carlos like that, with lots of bruises, what would you do?"

"I would do anything to make him feel better," he breathed as his gaze grew more compassionate. "Oh, Georgie. Why didn't you say so sooner?"

"Because I suppressed my feelings. I got so lost in the relationship with Eileen to get away from him and prove to myself that I don't need Alex, but it didn't work. My heart belongs to him, and I guess it always will. I don't feel anything when I kiss Eileen, no tingling, no fast heartbeat, nothing." Exhausted, he ran through his face. "God, I'm such an idiot."

"I'd like to disagree with you, but unfortunately I can't," his friend muttered, honest. "You've done a lot of shit, and yet it doesn't surprise me. It was clear from the start that you had feelings for Alex, and that pushing them away wouldn't work." He gently stroked his back. "I told you you shouldn't have done that with Eileen. Now you got her involved, and she probably won't like the whole situation."

"Yeah," he muttered. "What am I supposed to do?"

"I have an idea, but you won't like it," Lando said, and he nodded, though somewhat skeptical. "I'll talk to Alex and make it clear to him that he really needs to talk to you. Then you talk to him and you tell him everything about Eileen, really everything. Besides, you ask him about his bruises. And no matter what answer he gives, I don't want you to go any further, okay? He'll tell you when he thinks it's right. Just trust me when I tell you he's gonna do it someday."

"And Eileen?" He whispered cautiously, after all, he hadn't said what to do with her.

"You have to break up with her."

He froze at those words. Of course, he was aware right from the start that she was not the right partner for him, but rather a replacement for Alex. He had far too high expectations of her that she could never have met because she wasn't Alex. But still, it had never been his intention to hurt her, at least not consciously. That he had done it anyway with his actions was now also clear to him. So many times she had told him she was happier than ever, and now he was just supposed to break her heart? He couldn't do that, could he?

But on the other hand, it was long overdue. She was a great person and deserved not only the truth about his feelings but also someone who really loved her. He had to let her go.

He took a deep breath and finally nodded. "Alright, I'll do it."

Chapter Text

Singapore, 19th September, 2019

I spoke to Alex this morning, and he promised me he wouldn't ignore you anymore. He just went to his motorhome, so you can go see him now.

As soon as he had received this message from Lando, he jumped up from the table where he had had a cup of coffee with a few employees. Aleix twitched in fright and looked at him perplexed. His engineers, who were sitting at the table with them, also interrupted their conversation to turn to him.

"What are you doing?" His coach wanted to know. Embarrassed by his euphoria triggered by Lando's message, he cleared his throat, "I urgently need to go somewhere. Can the team briefing wait another half an hour?"

Begging, he looked around and saw some of them rolling their eyes in amusement. "Only if there are donuts for the analysis of the race on Sunday," his race engineer said

"Agreed!" He immediately replied. He was happy to bring donuts if talking to Alex while he had time and hopefully finding out where he got his bruises from was the award for that. On photos and videos, he had not noticed any new ones yet, which was probably because he had worn a sweater yesterday and today. At 30° Celcius, he was seriously wearing a sweater, so if that wasn't questionable, then he didn't know. Nobody wore a sweater in the heat of hell, especially not at the track walk, where there was no shadow. Nobody, except for Alex.

"Okay, but with every minute of delay, the number of donuts you have to bring with you doubles. Half an hour!" His performance engineer warned him and he laughed, "Yeah, fine. Half an hour."

He quickly ran out of the building to the RedBull Motorhome. Fortunately, they shared this with Toro Rosso, otherwise, he would surely have run to the wrong motorhome out of habit. He also remembered that he hadn't congratulated Alex on his promotion yet. Although they had seen each other in Spa, they both had had different thoughts than his team change. At the time, it would have been more than inappropriate for him to congratulate Alex, so he would do that today, too.

Excited, he entered the large building and asked for Alex. A staff member told him the way to his room, where he went straight to the room. Nervously, he knocked on the door. How would he react? He meant, just because Alex wouldn't run away from him didn't mean he actually wanted to talk to him, right?

"Yes?" Alex then gave him the permission to enter. Immediately, he opened the door and froze at the sight. He was just putting on a fresh shirt, so he could see the huge blue-purple stain on his stomach. The collar of the top only half-covered a bruise on his neck, which looked like a slightly too-well-meant love bite. Was that dried blood?

"Oh, hey," Alex whispered uncertainly, stepping back while grabbing a sweater, which he also quickly put on. Now his neck was completely covered. Was that why he was wearing that thick sweater? So no one could see his neck? "Sorry, I thought you were Patrick."

"Uhm, alright," he stammered, forcing himself not to overwhelm him directly with his questions about his appearance. So instead, he asked carefully, "How are you? Congratulations on the promotion, too."

"Thank you and I'm fine, yes, fine," he said, and at that moment he cursed himself for knowing him so well. His eyes flashing nervously from side to side, the scratching on his neck and the slight shrug of his shoulders – he lied.

However, he remembered the promise he had given Lando. Today, he wouldn't argue with Alex about the bruises, today they had to talk and find each other again.

"And you?" Alex then asked the counter-question. He leaned against the closed door and smiled a little, "Well, fine, but I miss you."

When he had confessed that, Alex's gaze softened and he even returned his smile for a short time, before he then looked down on the ground. "That's how I felt when I broke off contact with you, too. Somehow we can't really live without each other, can we?" Even though he tried to bring it over easily, he heard the trembling of his voice, as if he wanted to start crying. What the hell was wrong with him?

"Yes, we probably can't," he agreed, nodding towards the sofa, which was a little bigger than his own. Everything here was a little bigger than at his motorhome. "Shall we sit down? I need to tell you something."

"Okay," he breathed and they sat down together.

"I have a girlfriend, her name is Eileen," he said. "Since the race at Silverstone."

"You have...oh." A little confused, Alex shook his head and intertwined his fingers on his lap. "So in Hungary that was just an excuse and you actually broke off our friendship because you were in a relationship?" He looked back up at him and he could see right away that it hit him hard. Oh, God, what was he supposed to say? Of course, it wasn't like that! Maybe it was a partial reason, but mostly he did it because the idea of Alex and Jack in a relationship was just too hurtful.

He mustered Alex speechlessly and after a while, the older one nodded understanding. "It's okay, it's probably even better that way," he muttered quietly.

"Probably?" He repeated, surprised. Was there any scenario where it wasn't better?

"It is better this way," he quickly improved his words and ran through his face once. "It's definitely better this way."

He didn't quite buy it, but still nodded without a word. "But I'm going to break up with Eileen, I think," he went on to tell him at least that. He didn't know if it would change anything between them, but maybe it would make a difference.

"I'm sorry." Alex wrung out a compassionate smile, even if it sounded more like a question as if he was not sure if he was really sorry. He was acting really strange. He was a completely different person than he had been before the summer break. Was it because of his move and therefore also because of Jack?

"Why?" Alex finally wanted to know.

"I have no feelings for her," he muttered. "Sometimes you just have to be honest with yourself. And as sorry as I am for her, in the end, it's gonna be the best thing for both of us."

"That's right," he replied, swallowing slightly at his words. Now would have been the perfect time to question him, after all, he had told him about Eileen. He thought he should take it slow, though.

"What's it like in Monaco? Lando told me you moved there?" He asked curiously. Alex's shoulders tensed as he nodded in agreement.

"Yes, the city is really beautiful. I don't speak French, but the people are still really nice and open to anything," he started hesitantly. "It's a good place to live there, but I often miss England and especially my family."

Of course, he didn't miss the fact that Alex hadn't said a word about Jack and living with him, so he casually followed up, "And how's it going with Jack? You all right?"

He shuddered noticeably under his question. "Are you really interested?" he asked, unsure, and turned his head a little.

"Yes, of course," he answered, even if it was only half-true. He didn't want to know how things went between them, he just wanted to know if Jack hit him or worse.

"To be honest, it's not going so well," the elder admitted. "I have the feeling that we are drifting a bit apart and have small arguments more often."

"Do they sometimes get out of control?" He leaned over a bit to get him out of his comfort zone and immediately Alex slipped away from him.

"What do you mean?" Uncertainly, he returned his gaze and frowned.

"In Monza, you had bruises on your arms. Was that Jack?" He asked directly. Alex's eyes widened and for a brief moment it was quiet, then he quickly shook his head.

"No! No, he would never do that. I had...I just had a bicycle accident!" he said panicked, still shaking his head.

"Okay, okay, all right. It was just a question." He laid a hand on his knee before brushing it slightly. "You know you could talk to me if he would do something like that?"

"Y-Yeah, but it wasn't him, really," he nodded, dodging his examining gaze.

"I believe you," he whispered softly before pulling him into his arms, even though that was a blatant lie.

The conversation and Alex's reactions had only confirmed his assumption that something went terribly wrong in the relationship between Alex and Jack. Now all he had to do was get Alex to trust him completely again and break up with Jack.

Chapter Text

Sochi, 29th September, 2019

In a bad mood, he dropped on the chair so that they could finish the team briefing, which had been brought forward after his DNF. He didn't feel like analysing the race today, he would rather just go straight to bed and forget about this day. Well, at least due to the braking failure there was relatively little to analyse, so fortunately it wouldn't take so long.

All in all, it had been quite a shitty day for the whole team, as Robert couldn't finish the race either. After such race weekends the mood was always bad, he knew that very well, after all, it wasn't the first bad race he had, just his second DNF in a row in his still young Formula 1 career.

They were just about to take a closer look at a mistake as his name rang through the room. Surprised he looked up, as he had recognised the voice immediately. Alex waved to him from the front door, next to him was his PR assistant. What the hell was he doing here?

"Uhm..." he looked at his race engineer, who commented on his unspoken question with a devoted nod. So he slipped back a bit, got up, and walked up to Alex, who immediately pulled him into a big hug.

"Hey, is everything okay?" He gently wanted to know before pushing him a little further back so that they were no longer in the door frame. He found it a little uncomfortable when his team was watching them.

"Yes, everything is fine," Alex whispered into the crook of his neck and he stroked his back lovingly. "I only heard about your failure and wanted to see you."

He stepped back a little to look at him. "Did you worry about that?" He hooked in surprise and Alex shrugged.

"A little." He gave him a crooked smile. "After all, it's your second DNF in a row. Not that you've forgotten how races work."

"I feel quite okay so far. Of course, it would have been better if I had finished the race, but it's not the end of the world," he said and looked at him proudly. "You were P5, right? That's your best result so far, congrats."

"Thank you," he replied with a thin smile. "I was still 14 seconds behind Max."

"This is your third race for RedBull," he remarked skeptically and frowned. "It's awesome, Alex! Really. Don't push yourself like that."

"Alright, alright." The taller one dropped his shoulders a little, which worried him more. It seemed as if something was on his mind and visibly preoccupied him.

"What's going on?" He asked worriedly and grabbed his hand to show him that he was there for him.

"I had a massive fight with Jack on Wednesday before I flew here, and I don't know if I want to go back now," he returned unsurely and dodged his gaze. "Maybe I could stay at yours until the next race? I don't want to see my family, they'd ask too many questions."

"Sure," he answered immediately, without thinking about it. Then he realised what he had just done. He had invited Alex to his home, even though he still hadn't talked to Eileen, either about his non-existent feelings or about the reconciliation with Alex. How was he supposed to explain to her that Alex was with him all of a sudden? Or should he just tell her he didn't have time and avoid a meeting between the two of them? It was clear that Alex could stay with him for as long as he wanted if that meant he wasn't with Jack.

"Thank you." Alex hugged him tightly again and he immediately pushed him closer. "I have no idea what I would have done if I hadn't been able to spend the time at yours."

"You're always welcome with me, Alex. No matter what," he whispered honestly. "I would never send you away."

They stood there for quite a while until Alex detached himself from the hug and ran through his hair. "You should get back to your team briefing," he smiled slightly, to which he nodded.

"Yes. I'll text you again when we were supposed to fly tomorrow."

"We?" Alex asked hesitantly, which made him smile, "You really haven't been flying with Carlos, Lando, and me for far too long."

At the mention of their friends, his eyes began to glow and now even an honest smile spread over his lips. "Okay, see you tomorrow."

"See you then." He stroked his upper arm again for a moment before Alex turned around and disappeared from his motorhome. He, on the other hand, returned to the team briefing in a much better mood, which his team members, fortunately, left uncommented.

It was late when he finally left the paddock. He was just about to call a taxi and drive to the hotel when a cheerful voice interrupted him. "Well, who do we have here?"

Smiling, he turned to Lando, who approached him with Carlos. He briefly hugged both of them before pulling the zipper of his jacket up, since it was quite cold. "Hey, I was just about to call a taxi. Do you want a ride?"

Carlos shook his head amused. "No, we got a car. Why don't you come with us?"

"I won't say no to that, will I?" He immediately agreed and was glad to not have to wait for a taxi in this cold. The three of them went to the McLaren they had come with this morning and talked a bit about the race.

"That reminds me," he started as they had just sat in the car. "Alex is flying back with us tomorrow."

"Really?" Enthusiastically, Lando turned over to him as he turned on the car heater and rubbed his hands together to warm them.

"Yes, Jack and he had a fight on Wednesday and he didn't want to go back yet, so he's staying at mine."

The Briton only nodded knowingly. "It's nice that you two get along again," he said, and he just nodded with a smile. Yeah, it really was.

Arriving at the hotel, they finally said goodbye to each other. While the two disappeared into Lando's room, he went into his own. He took a shower and brushed his teeth before he jumped into bed.

His real plan had been to go to sleep after a few episodes of Stranger Things, but the show caught him so much that he was still awake when somebody knocked on his door. Surprised, he glanced at his phone, 12:44am. Who wanted anything from him so late?

With a tortured groan, he struggled out of his duvet and walked to the door to open it. "Alex," he muttered in surprise when he recognised the man in front of him. "What the hell are you doing here?"

The Thai was wearing sweatpants, and a thick sweater and looked pretty tired. At the same time, however, he could see that Alex's eyes were suspiciously glassy. Had he been crying?

"I-I can't sleep," his best friend stammered and immediately his gaze became compassionate.

"Do you want to come in and sleep here?" He offered him. His heart was already beating incredibly fast, but when Alex nodded, it threatened to burst. He stepped aside so that he could enter before closing the door behind him.

"Were you still awake?" he asked in surprise, pointing to the bright screen of his laptop.

"Yes, I was so captivated by the show, I forgot the time," he smiled, embarrassed. He quickly closed the laptop and put it on the table. Meanwhile, Alex had already cuddled into the bed.

Satisfied, he slipped next to him under the blanket. Should he put an arm around him or not? This decision was taken away from him when Alex cuddled up to him, so he immediately wrapped his arm around him. With his free hand, he tapped for the switch to turn off the lamp on the bedside table so that they could fall asleep.

"Sleep well," he breathed into Alex's ear. He just cuddled himself closer to him and muttered, "You too."

His heart was beating so fast, he was afraid Alex would notice. He didn't waste a thought about the fact that they both actually were in a relationship and were way too close for that. He didn't really care about that at the time, it felt way too good to be lying here with him.

After so many months, he finally had the closeness to him again, which was good for him and which he needed more than anything else in the world.

Chapter Text

Milton Keynes, 3rd October, 2019

"Good morning," Alex muttered as he stomped into the kitchen sleepily. He turned away from the coffee machine to look at him instead, and couldn't help but smile.

His messy hair, his hazy eyes, and his behavior...Alex was just incredibly cute in the morning and he was more than happy to finally see him like that again.

"Morning," he replied. "Slept well?"

He stretched out and yawned heartily before he nodded. "I always sleep best with you."

He turned back to the coffee machine so he wouldn't see him blushing. "I'm glad." He opened one of the cupboards and took out two cups to pour the coffee into it.

Suddenly, Alex wrapped his arms around him from behind and put his head on his shoulder. Ever since he had been staying over, he'd been looking for his closeness more and more often, which made his heart beat faster every time. In general, the older one seemed happier and more relaxed. The bruises began to fade, the smile rarely left his lips, even though he had only been here a few days. It seemed really good for him to get away from Monaco, and Jack and spend time at his real home, with people who really loved and cared for him.

So he just silently smiled to himself, while he gladly accepted this embrace.

"I was thinking about making scrambled eggs?" He finally asked when he had handed him his cup. Alex had let go of him, but his hand remained at his hip.

"Fine with that," he replied with a mischievous grin and drank a sip of his coffee. "Mhh, I really missed your service." He licked his lips with pleasure, to which he chuckled.

"I didn't really miss spoiling you," he returned teasingly.

Playing hurt, he drew in the air and widened his eyes. "Liar!" the taller one exclaimed. "You love spoiling me."

Innocently, he shrugged and smiled. They both knew he was right. Right now, when he obviously needed someone to take care of him, he wanted to do it all the more. He liked to be the one who made Alex happier than anyone else and pulled him out of that dark hole. And if that meant he had Alex with him like this, he'd never stop.

Alex, gracious as he was, then helped him prepare the rest of the breakfast. Well, at least he put the buns in the oven while he did the rest. One couldn't expect more of him in his sleep-drunken state.

Less than fifteen minutes later they sat together at the breakfast table and ate in peace. "Can we just spend the day on the couch today?" His best friend begged, making him laugh.

"We've been doing this all the time since Monday," he criticised, but he also liked the daily routine. Cuddling with Alex on the sofa, watching movies, talking, or just playing video games was really fantastic.

"That's not true. We went to the gym on Tuesday." He crossed his arms and he raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, a full ten minutes," he reminded him skeptically. But when Alex threw his famous puppy eyes at him, it was clear what was already clear all along - he would give in to him.

"Fine," he said. "But tomorrow we really train again."

"We'll see," he grinned cheekily, and he rolled his eyes, but also had to smile. It was unbelievable that he always got what he wanted. He wondered if Alex was aware that he was completely gone for him.

After they had eaten, they threw themselves on the couch together and he let Alex choose a movie. In the end, he chose the first part of Harry Potter.

It wasn't long before Alex put an arm around his hip and placed his head on his chest. Lovingly, he drove through his hair before leaving a light kiss. He didn't know exactly what he was thinking, but Alex only grumbled with pleasure, which he interpreted as an agreement. Could this moment never end again, please?

He focused more on the man who laid half on top of him than on the movie, but he knew all the Harry Potter movies inside and out anyway. The situation with Alex on the other hand was new - or at least unusual again. He didn't know how long they'd actually be as close this time as they were now, so he wanted to cherish every moment with him.

"You're not watching at all," Alex interrupted his gaze at one point and looked up at him smiling.

"Hmmm?" He muttered. He raised his free hand and gently stroked his cheek. Immediately he leaned into the touch and closed his eyes satisfied.

"What's going on here?!" a new voice furiously broke through the pleasant atmosphere. He quickly pushed Alex away as a shiver swept through his entire body and he slowly turned towards the person. Oh, fuck.

Eileen stared at them with wide-open eyes, which slowly became glassy, and he realised how wrong this situation must have looked for her. No, it didn't just look like that, it was wrong. Alex and he shouldn't be so close, at least not when they both were in a relationship. Why was it so damn hard for them to act like normal friends?

"Eileen, I-," he tried to explain and stood up, but she only raised a hand as a warning, and he fell silent again.

"We'll talk upstairs," she hissed before she even stepped up the stairs. He briefly ran through his face and took a deep breath, then he turned to Alex, who looked at him a little overwhelmed.

"I'll be right back," he muttered, running after his girlfriend.

Eileen was waiting for him in his bedroom. When he walked in, she slammed the door behind him. "What the hell is this, George?!" she immediately demanded an explanation. "Are you cheating on me?"

"I...what?! No, no, no!" He said quickly and shook his head a little. "No, I would never do that."

"Then tell me you didn't exactly intend to kiss him!" she said dissolutely.

"I didn't want to kiss him, I really didn't!" He said almost desperately. He wanted to break up with her, but not like this. It wasn't planned like this, damn it! Of course, it looked like he wanted to kiss him - probably he wanted to - but he really never would have done it! He didn't want to lose him now that he had just got him back, and he certainly didn't want to cheat on Eileen.

Eileen took a deep breath and he realised she was on the verge of completely losing her temper. "You lied to me, George," she said quietly. "You said you were busy until the next race and didn't have time for me. So I come here to prepare a meal and surprise you for the evening, but you're laying on the couch with a stranger! How can you make me believe that you are not cheating on me?!"

"It's not a stranger," he whispered uncertainly. "It's Alex."

"That's Alex?! Oh, God." Stunned she pulled her hair. "I thought you broke off contact? Shit George, don't you tell me anything anymore?!"

"I'm sorry," he breathed quietly. "There's been so much going on in the last week, I kind of forgot." That wasn't a lie. There was actually really quite a lot going on, Alex's bruises had taken up most of his thoughts. However, it wasn't true that he had forgotten to tell Eileen. He had deliberately not told her.

"This is a big fucking thing, George! You don't forget that!" she exclaimed in disbelief. "You have contact with someone you once loved and then kept it from your girlfriend!"

"I didn't keep it from you," he began, but she interrupted him immediately, "Of course you did! I'm not stupid, damn it!"

For a moment it was quiet and he let her words linger. His gaze slipped from the wall, then to the floor, and finally back to Eileen. It couldn't end this way, it would break her heart. Somehow he had to convince her he wasn't cheating on her.

"How can I prove to you nothing is going on between us?" He asked.

"Decide." She shrugged her shoulders a little helplessly before looking at him. "Him or me?"

Chapter Text

"Decide." She shrugged her shoulders a little helplessly before looking at him. "Him or me?"

Stunned, he froze and held his breath. She couldn't be serious, could she? He had known Alex since he had been a kid, Alex knew him better than anyone else, and he made him feel the most comfortable. The last few months, when things didn't always go well between them, showed him that he couldn't lose the older one again at any price. Especially when Jack waited for him in Monaco to beat him pretty sure. He couldn't leave Alex alone now.

"What?" He whispered and frowned.

"Him or me?" Eileen repeated her question. With tears in her eyes, she returned his desperate look and every second he didn't answer, she just seemed to be more hurt.

"You can't ask for that! He's my best friend," he tried to dissuade her from her idea, but it was useless. She wouldn't change her mind.

"And I am your girlfriend!" she replied furiously. "But apparently all this means nothing to you. You'd rather hang out with your lover!"

"He's not my lover, Eileen!" He insisted again and slowly became more and more annoyed. Did she even listen to him?

"But you love him!" the younger one cried out, thus shutting him down. Shocked, he stared at his counterpart, not quite sure what to say. He wanted to contradict her, he wanted to fix it somehow, so he wouldn't break her heart like that, but he couldn't. He couldn't lie to her anymore, because he would if he disagreed with her.

Alex was the one he loved. He always had been, and he always would be. No matter how hard he tried to escape his feelings, he would end up with Alex again. The relationship with Eileen had made that more than clear to him.

"Okay...," she whispered as he just remained silent, and now the first tears left her eyes. "Then I guess everything is said between us."

"Eileen, I-" He was going to make an apology, but she just ran out of the room. Instantly, he ran after her and tried to catch up with her.

"Eileen! Stop, please!" He pleaded when they arrived in the hallway. In fact, she stopped, but only to turn to him and clarify, "It's over, George." Then she opened the front door and slammed it loudly behind her.

He shuddered, stopped as if shot. Did that really just happen? He cursed as he had definitely not imagined the breakup like that. He wanted to empathise with her that he didn't love her, and then split up for the better. But this wasn't a perfect world where every plan worked perfectly.

"George...?" Alex said quietly and he turned his head to him. Somewhat lost, he stood in the door frame to the living room and looked at him with concern. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I..." he paused for a moment to recover. "It was long overdue for me to tell her the truth." Seen from that perspective, he had not told her, she had come up with it much more herself, but in the end, it all came down to the same thing.

"Okay." Alex approached him cautiously to pull him in a firm embrace, which he was only too happy to reciprocate. His proximity made him calm down right away and feel better. God, what would he do without him?

"Shall we continue to watch?" He suggested at some point and thus elicited a slight laugh of him. Together they walked back to the living room, where they went back to the same position as before. Alex pressed play again and this time he even focused a little better on the plot, but not for very long.

Harry Potter, who didn't feel comfortable at home because he wasn't loved there, reminded him too much of Alex, who didn't have anyone in Monaco except for Jack, who didn't treat him very lovingly. He could see more and more parallels until he finally whispered out of nowhere, "I don't want you to ever go back to Monaco."

Alex's breath quickened immediately, but he didn't say anything, so he wasn't sure if he was going to ignore his comment. He just took a breath to say something else as Alex sat up, and at the same time, he was detaching himself from his arms.

"Why would you say that?" His best friend asked nervously and he could see him scratching his arms. Should he finally dare tell him his guesses?

"Because you're not doing well there, Alex," he breathed worryingly. "I've never seen you so broken as on the race weekends when you come from Monaco. All the bruises, the look that almost cries for help, and your strange behaviour...These are not coincidences and you don't get the bruises from bicycle accidents either. Please, just tell me the truth."

Alex looked at him with wide eyes and began to tremble. Then he pulled the sleeves of his sweater over his hands before rubbing his face nervously. But he did not say anything.

"Alex, please. You have no idea how much I care about you," he begged, looking for his gaze, but now he consistently dodged it. The elder pulled one leg up, wrapped his arms around it, and then let it sink again. He felt uncomfortable, possibly because there was no chance to escape the conversation. They both knew the truth, they both knew they knew it, but he wanted to hear it from Alex. He finally wanted answers to his questions.

"Okay, you don't have to talk, but please be honest when I ask you something." He took a deep breath and gained some strength before he asked the decisive question. He was fucking scared of the answer. On the one hand, because he was already afraid of the truth, and on the other, because there was still a small hope in him that he had misinterpreted everything and that it really was only an accident.

"Does Jack beat you?" He finally came out.

A hesitation on Alex's part, then a nod. A fucking nod.

He closed his eyes for a brief moment and felt anger build up inside him, but forced himself to remain calm. He didn't mean to scare Alex off. "Did he do anything else? Did he sexually abuse you or something?" He continued. This time he shook his head hastily, which relieved him. That was at least something...

"Why don't you break up with him?" He breathed thoughtfully, hoping earnestly that he would give him an answer.

The Thai now raised his head again to look at him. His lower lip trembled slightly as he began, "I deserve it!"

Frightened by this sentence, he held his breath. What was that?! "What makes you think of that shit, Alex?" He asked stunned, following a single tear that rolled down his cheek with his eyes.

"I cheated on him," Alex whispered, but he understood it anyway. "I cheated on him and didn't tell him. I was a shitty boyfriend. He has every right to beat me."

"No," he contradicted him strongly. "No, Alex. I kissed you, it had nothing to do with you, and even if it did, that's not a reason for him to hit you, you know? Stop telling yourself you deserve this because you don't."

According to his words, more and more tears were running down his cheeks and now he sobbed quietly. Meanwhile, he closed the gap between them so he could put his arms around him. Immediately, Alex grabbed his sweater to find the support he needed.

It broke his heart to see his best friend like that, he was completely broken. At the same time, he felt guilt build up inside him. If he hadn't kissed Alex back then, he might have broken up with Jack by now. But because of him, he had convinced himself he deserved the bruises.

"I'm sorry," he whispered in his ear, pushing Alex closer to him. "I'm so sorry that I kissed you and didn't help you directly when I first suspected it. I-I don't know how to ever make it up to you again."

Now it was Alex's turn to shake his head. He retreated slightly and looked for eye contact. "It's not your fault, okay? On the contrary, you're the only one currently showing me what it means to be really loved."

"Because I do," he muttered and immediately it became quiet. He was just waiting for Alex to ask him to take the words back, but he did not.

Instead, he started smiling slightly and put his hands on his cheeks. "That was the other reason I thought I deserved it. I've broken your heart so many times and then realised you're so much better than anyone else. I could have had you, but I lost you instead."

"You haven't lost me, Alex," he whispered tenderly, leaning closer to him. "And you never will, I promise."

Alex's one hand now slid towards his neck as his heart beat faster and faster.

Oh, please, don't let this be a dream.

Alex looked deep into his eyes until he finally closed his, which he guessed was his confirmation.

So he bridged the last centimeters between them and connected their lips to a heartfelt kiss, which he instantly reciprocated. His feelings were going absolutely crazy now, but he just accepted the intoxicating feeling. Kissing Alex and making him realise he would never leave him alone was the only thing that really mattered now.

When they broke away, they both couldn't help but smile. But it didn't last long as Alex kissed him a second time. He wrapped his arms around his hip and pulled him on his lap before deepening the kiss. Just to get more of that great feeling. That was all he had ever dreamed of, and he would definitely never give it up.

Could everything finally turn out okay now?

Chapter Text

Suzuka, 13th Oktober, 2019

With a broad grin, he entered the RedBull Motorhome. Alex had done it again, he had driven excellently again and had rewarded himself with P4. That was unbelievable! He really deserved the seat at RedBull and drive great races. Especially after everything that had been going on with Jack behind the scenes – or was still going on.

It wasn't the first time he had shown up in this building this weekend. So he knew the way to Alex's driver's room by heart and just ran there in a good mood. He quickly knocked on the door, did not wait for an answer, but simply entered.

Horrified, Alex shuddered when he arrived before he looked up from his phone. But as soon as his eyes fell on him, they began to shine and he stood up. "Georgie! I was just gonna text you when we're going back to the hotel." He approached him with pleasure, so that he no longer hesitated, but wrapped his arms around him.

He lifted Alex up briefly to swirl him around once, but when he wanted to put him down again, the older one put his legs firmly around his hip. So he drove his hands to his butt to be able to hold him better and breathed, "Congratulations to P4, that's unbelievable."

Alex pressed his face against his neck so he could feel his smile very clearly. He briefly pressed a kiss on the spot, then he muttered, "Thank you. Thank you for coming."

"I promised you I would always be there."

The elder buried his hands in his hair and grinned happily. Seeing him like that again was just beautiful. Only last race he hadn't been really happy about his fifth place, now the good race seemed to make him happier than anything else in the world and that made him happy again. Alex deserved to be able to enjoy his life again and was on his way there. He was proud to say that it was also his credit, which Alex himself stressed time and again.

Lovingly, he began to spread kisses all over his face, which made him giggle. "Okay, okay. I understand," Alex laughed and leaned his forehead against his. "You are proud of me, I get it."

"Proud is an understatement," he told him, looking at him as he closed his eyes. "I'm almost bursting with pride."

Again, he couldn't help laughing. "I hope not, at least I still need you," he joked, and now stretched out a bit to kiss him for a moment. "I need you so, so much."

"I need you too," he replied gently. Then he walked slowly to the sofa, on which he sat down, as his arms were starting to hurt. He trained a lot and Alex wasn't that heavy either, but at some point, it was too much - even for him.

Now Alex was able to make himself comfortable on his lap, which did not seem to bother him much. Immediately, the taller one slipped into a comfortable position and laid his head on his shoulder as he drove over his back.

"How about we order food from room service today and end the evening with a show before we fly back to London tomorrow?" He suggested.

Alex sighed heavily, and now he broke away from him. "I'm afraid that won't be possible...I promised Jack that I'd fly back to Monaco in the morning so we could talk," he whispered uncertainly.

Instantly, he tightened his entire body and literally looked at him in disbelief. That was a bad joke, wasn't it? He couldn't be serious! Did he want to fuck with him?!

"What?!" He exclaimed in shock and just couldn't believe it. Alex really wanted to go back to see Jack in Monaco? He thought he'd agreed with him with all the kisses that he'd stay with him now. Did Alex take him and his feelings seriously at all?!

Desperately, he ran through his face and slipped from his lap. "George, I really need to talk to him!" Alex tried to explain to him, but he didn't really see that point.

"What are you going to tell him? 'Hey, I've been with George for the past two weeks, with whom I've cheated on you several times by now'?! He's going to beat you to death, Alex!" He hissed angrily, and his counterpart tensed at these words.

"I didn't really plan on telling him anything about you at all actually," Alex now admitted quietly, which didn't really make him feel calmer. He didn't want to tell Jack about him? Then he obviously didn't want to break up with him either! He guessed that was the final proof that he was just a waste of time to Alex.

His eyes teared up at this realisation. Even now Alex couldn't confess to him. And that even though they had made their feelings for each other more than obvious.

"I should have known," he said, hurt, and stood up. "You're never going to choose me, are you?"

Alex couldn't hold back a few tears when he got up to reach for his hand. He allowed that touch but avoided his gaze. "Stop saying that, George," Alex asked him. "Of course I'll choose you."

"And then why are you going back to him?" He quietly wanted to know and cursed himself for having given himself hope straight away.

Alex hesitated for a moment before closing his eyes. "I want to break up with him."

"No," he immediately decided in a firm voice and tapped his forehead with his index finger. "Surely you will not fly to Monaco alone to break up with him. I'll go with you."

"No way!" Alex replied. "You're going back to England with Carlos and Lando, and I'll be there when I've sorted everything out. That's my business."

"It's not," he said trembling. "Damn it, Alex, that's not your business alone! It also affects me, and your family, and your friends, who all care about you! Because we care if you get hit by Jack! We want what's best for you and you won't get that in Monaco!"

"You won't be able to change my mind," he clarified and slowly let go of his hand.

"Even if I tell you I love you?" He whispered. Alex bit his lip straight and looked at him indecisively. "I love you, Alex. And I'm begging you, please let me come with you or don't go at all."

For quite a while it was quiet and Alex really seemed to wrestle with himself, but then he shook his head with determination. "I'm sorry, George, but I want to do this alone."

"I'm just trying to protect you!" He told him, hoping to somehow get him to his senses.

"But I don't want your help, okay?! I'm fine by myself, damn it!" he closed up completely.

And that gave him the rest. Well, if Alex didn't need his help, then he could see how well he was doing without him.

"You say you don't want to hurt me anymore, but you do it anyway," he breathed in torment and felt his heart tightening.

"And you promised me that you would always be there for me," he pleaded back. "Please don't break that promise now."

He just shook his head at these words. "I will always be there for you. But that doesn't mean you can ignore my feelings and do your own thing. If you had any interest in a relationship, you would see it too!" He hoped so much that Alex would finally realise, that he would hold on to him, but he just kept silent after his words, so he nodded slowly understanding as his heart broke further and further. "You know where to find me if you change your mind. Please, don't do this on your own, but come to terms with everyone needing help at some point of their life." Discouraged, he turned around and walked out of his room before Alex could stop him.

Great, that's not how he had imagined the end of his day when he had gone to see him.

Chapter Text

Suzuka, 14th Oktober, 2019

Exhausted, he stared out of the window and just watched planes landing and taking off. Yesterday at this time, he was expecting Alex to be sitting here at the airport with him, but by now, he had been taught better. Alex was on his way to Monaco and he was sitting here all alone because there was no sign of Carlos and Lando yet either. To be honest, he wouldn't even be surprised if they were already gone, because that would certainly fit his day.

He had been up all night thinking about trying to talk to Alex again so he wouldn't fly to Monaco, but what was he supposed to say? Alex wouldn't listen to him anyway. So he broke his head over nothing and when his alarm clock rang, he had slept for maybe an hour. Correspondingly, he was now feeling like a zombie, his mood was not exactly the best.

Suddenly his headphones were ripped from his ears and he looked at Lando in shock, who put them on. Then he shook his head disapprovingly. "Nah. Your taste in music still sucks," he remarked and gave them back again.

"Says the one who only ever listens to Ellie Goulding," he muttered before pausing the music to pack up his headphones.

"Ellie Goulding is great!" the younger one insisted and began to pout.

"Yes, from a teenager's point of view."

At his counter, Carlos started laughing, and his boyfriend looked at him furiously. Immediately he bit his lip to stop laughing.

"Yes, I would do that, too, if I were you," Lando growled towards the Spaniard and then turned back to him. "Not in a particularly good mood, huh?"

He sighed heavily and actually wanted to give something back, like 'I could ask you the same', but then realised that he lacked the strength to keep joking. "Yeah, pretty shitty mood," he admitted instead and ran through his face.

"Come on, let's get on the plane and talk." The smaller one held out his hands to him, which he immediately grabbed, and pulled him on his feet. He quickly packed his backpack, then the three of them went to their plane.

How was he supposed to explain everything to them without them freaking out? Neither Alex nor he had told anyone about the last two weeks, they never got to think about it. They had been way too busy ich each other for that.

Now he realised that Lando would probably complain about it, after all, he had promised him to tell him about everything that happened between Alex and him right away. Now he had forgotten the most important part and he could beat himself for it.

"Well, what's up with you?" Lando wanted to know when they had packed their things and had sat down.

"Alex," he said, and Lando muttered, 'what else?'. "Before I talk any more, you have to promise me you won't get mad at me, okay?" With his best puppy eyes, he looked at his friend, who hesitantly nodded and didn't seem to trust the whole thing yet.

"Okay, so you know Alex spent the last two weeks with me because he had a fight with Jack. Well, we got closer, cuddled and stuff, and Eileen saw us, and then she broke up with me," he started, unsure.

"Oh, what a miracle, you two broke up," Lando commented ironically and shook his head. "I told you to break up with her because you don't have feelings for her! Now you've broken her heart. Congratulations, George."

For a moment, he was speechless. He didn't even get to the point where Lando was supposed to get mad, and he couldn't even hold back now?

Carlos seemed to sense his discomfort, which is why he gave Lando a small punch in the ribs. "A little more empathy, Lando. I'm sure it wasn't George's intention," he calmed him down and he gave him a thankful look.

"Well, after that," he continued. "Alex and I sort of talked about Jack and he confessed to me that Jack really hits him."

Lando drove his face in shock and muttered, "Oh God, oh God! And then?"

"Then we kissed," he said cautiously. Immediately Lndo dropped his hands and question marks were clearly written on his face.

"Then you kissed?" he repeated confusedly, and he just nodded. "How did that happen?"

"I don't know, it just happened when we were talking about our feelings," he mumbled.

"Have you confessed your feelings?!" Lando exclaimed before he applauded slightly ironically. "You actually made it? Wow, I can still live that day."

"At least until yesterday we had made it," he said before Lando got too happy.

"What happened yesterday?" Carlos eagerly followed up and seemed totally captivated by his stories.

"Well, I congratulated him on the race and everything was perfect until I asked him if he would come back with us today. He said he promised Jack to come to Monaco," he whispered. Yesterday's events caught up with him again and he continued, displeased, "I got angry because I assumed that Jack was over and that he would finally get away from him. He also said he was only going to Monaco to break up with him, but he just didn't realise it was freaking scary for me."

"Wait, wait, wait," Lando interrupted his emotional outburst and seemed to have to process it at first. "That means he's on his way to Monaco alone to break up with his violent boyfriend?"

And the way Lando questioned it, he realised what he had done because he didn't want to be hurt anymore. He had let Alex go by himself, so he let him face Jack alone. God, Jack would kill him!

Desperately, he nodded and pulled at his hair. "Yeah, shit! I know it was stupid. I wanted to go with him, but then he said he didn't need my help! That was so fucking hurtful. What was I supposed to do?" He tried to explain himself, but he knew that this was no excuse for his behaviour. It shouldn't have mattered how much Alex had hurt him, he still should have insisted on coming to Monaco to protect him.

"George, what the fuck?!" Lando hissed angrily. "You can't be serious!" He jumped up and ran forward to the captain of the plane while he hung his head. Lando was right, he was an idiot.

"Don't blame him for his behaviour. He's just as worried about Alex as you are," Carlos said empathetically and he looked up at him. The Spaniard definitely seemed to be calmer than Lando or him, which was probably because he wasn't as good friends with Alex as they were.

"I know," he answered powerlessly and felt tears coming into his eyes again. Immediately, he brushed them away. "But I feel so bad. If anything happens to him now, it's my fault."

"It's not," he immediately contradicted him, which surprised him. "It was his own decision not to accept your help and to do it on his own. Just like the rest of the weeks when you were trying to help him."

"But why is he doing this?" He wanted to know. "Why does he think he can do it all by himself?"

"Sometimes you push people away when you need them most," the elder replied shrugging his shoulders. "Or maybe he wanted to protect you from Jack, after all, he would not have been exactly thrilled if you showed up in Monaco with Alex."

He briefly thought about his words and had to admit that they sounded quite plausible. However, it only increased his guilt. Alex was trying to protect him, and he basically handed him over to the devil in person.

"Unfortunately, we can't fly to Monaco at short notice instead of London," Lando interrupted their conversation angrily and dropped back into his seat. "We can't get a landing place there anymore. Shall we ask Charles to stop by?"

"Funny," he muttered. "We still don't know his address."

"Then we'll have to wait for him to contact us," Carlos said, whereupon Lando and he exchanged a worried look. That was something they definitely didn't want to do.

As the plane started moving, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened the chat with Alex.

Please contact me when you've landed

I'm sorry I left. I'm fucking worried about you, so let's talk as soon as you can, okay? If you're mad at me, at least send a message to Lando so we know you're okay. I love you, Alex. With all my heart

After he had sent him those two messages, he locked his phone again and looked out the window. Oh, please, Alex had to answer in time...

Chapter Text

Milton Keynes, 15th Oktober, 2019

Restlessly, he looked at the ticks next to the messages to Alex, which had been blue since this morning, showing him that he had read them but had not replied. Now he checked almost every second if Alex had answered him in the meantime and he had just not heard the sound.

Was that a good or a bad sign? On the one hand, it was good, after all, that meant that he had to have been on his mobile phone and he was doing more or less well. On the other hand, it could have been Jack who had just used Alex's phone, which would put the Thai Briton in an even more precarious situation. He was sure Alex would've answered and given him the all-clear if he'd read the message, wouldn't he? He had said that Alex could ignore him if he was somehow annoyed or angry, but he didn't expect it to happen, Alex normally wasn't like that. In addition, he definitely would have informed Lando instead and the Brit had not yet contacted him either. Or did Lando assume Alex wasn't just texting him?

He quickly dialled Lando's number and nibbled on his fingernails while the typical tute sounded. Finally, it cracked briefly, then the younger one came in, "George?"

"Has Alex checked in with you?" It broke right out of him and he suppressed the trembling of his hands as he waited for an answer.

"No," Lando sighed. "I suppose not with you either?"

He shook his head before he realised Lando couldn't see it. So he muttered, "No, nothing. Since he has read my messages this morning, I haven't received anything."

"Maybe he's on the plane to London. Have you tried calling him again?" The younger one asked and he rolled his eyes.

"Of course I have. I haven't been doing anything else since yesterday." Desperately, he walked through his living room and tried to stay calm.

Take a deep breath, George. He'll get in touch eventually and everything will be fine.

"Do you think Jack will do anything worse to him than hit him?" He then asked Lando quietly.

"George, stop making up horror scenarios. He's not going to kill Alex," he told him straight away in a firm voice, whereupon he breathed in relief. Of course, deep down he was aware that Alex would definitely survive the whole thing, but right now he couldn't think straight anymore. Besides, he trusted Jack with everything. Who knew what he was still capable of when he beat the one he 'loved'?

"And what if-," he wanted to worry even more when suddenly the doorbell rang. That was probably just the post officer, even though he couldn't remember ordering anything. Well, maybe he delivered something for the neighbours since they weren't there right now.

"Lando, the bell rang. I'll call you again in a minute, okay?" He muttered as he walked into the hallway. The younger one agreed with him and he hung up before opening the door.

When he saw the man with the small suitcase in front of him, he froze instantly. Although he had pulled the hood of his windbreaker deep over his face, the black eye and the cracked lip were still visible. So he could only imagine what the rest of his body looked like.

"Shit, Alex," he breathed in shock and extended his arms reflexively, into which Alex immediately dived, causing the hood to slip off his head. "I told you not to do it alone. God, I was so worried about you." He carefully closed the front door, then buried his face in his hair to pick up his smell. Slowly he felt how Alex's closeness gave him more peace.

He was – more or less – fine and he held him in his arms. Now he could say with confidence that he was safe from now on because he certainly wouldn't let him do that shit on his own again.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Alex whispered. "You were right, George. But I was afraid he'd do the same to you if you came with me."

So Carlos was right with that assumption, great. He shook his head almost imperceptibly and then gently drove through his hair. "You have no idea how much I wouldn't have cared as long as you're okay," he muttered.

"Then you'd have to understand why I did it alone," the elder replied, and he thought about it for a moment. Right, he hadn't thought of it that way. If Jack had beaten him up instead of Alex, their roles would have changed and Alex would probably feel guilty for the rest of his life.

He stepped back and put his hands gently on his cheeks to get a closer look at his face. "I'll get some chilling and some ointment. You wait in the living room, okay?" He ordered before he quickly pulled the jacket off Alex's shoulders.

"George, it doesn't hurt," he tried to stop him, but he interrupted him right away, "Forget it, Alex. You can't turn down my help again. This time you'll accept it."

Alex nodded and trotted into the living room as ordered. He quickly fetched a heparin ointment from the bathroom, before getting a refrigerator pack from the freezer in the kitchen. With both, he returned to the Thai who had made himself comfortable on the sofa.

"Sweater off," he ordered and knelt before him.

"That's really not necessary," Alex begged again, but he didn't intend to give in to him again. So he just looked at him sternly, which is why he finally did it. With a painful hiss, he pulled the sweater over his head and the shirt right behind.

With big eyes, he looked at his torso, which was covered with severe bruises. It looked really fucking awful and he had to fight hard against the urge to look away again. He hurriedly blinked away a few tears that had almost found their way out of his eyes and bit his lip. He had to stay strong for him now. This wasn't about him.

"No comment," Alex asked him powerlessly and took the ice pack from him to put it on his eye. He nodded silently, he couldn't have said anything anyway. He was just incredibly angry at Jack for not only breaking his heart but almost all his bones. He would be dead the next time he saw him...

He then opened the ointment and began to put it on to the worst places cautiously. He didn't want to cause him any more pain than he already had. Alex tensed under the light touches but gritted his teeth to not make a sound, so he could only assume how much it really hurt, which of course he would never admit.

"Is there anything else on the back?" He hooked quietly, but Alex shook his head. "Well, then I'm done." The tube was quickly closed again and he straightened up.

"Thank you," he smiled faintly. "Thank you for taking me right in and taking care of me, even though I have hurt you."

He only gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek in response. He would have liked to have told him that he loved him and did everything for him, but he didn't want to burden him with such words. Instead, he said, "I'll get you some clothes and then we'll make ourselves really comfortable, okay?"

"That sounds like a good plan." As if on command, a yawn escaped him, even though it was only noon. He probably had slept little or not at all. Well, he'd make sure Alex had enough rest for the next few days, after all the mental and physical stress.

Less than ten minutes later, Alex was laying between his legs on the sofa. He had specially picked out the most cuddly sweater he had for him, and a pair of comfortable sweats to make him feel comfortable. He had obviously reached his goal because Alex seemed very relaxed when he drew small circles on the back of his hand with his thumb.

He did not turn his gaze away from his face, which was resting on his chest, eyes closed and lips twisted to a very small smile. He had put his arms around his waist, not very tight so he wouldn't hurt him, but so Alex could feel his grip and knew he was holding him.

"That reminds me," Alex broke the silence at some point. He didn't open his eyes, but his smile grew bigger. "I forgot to tell you something."

Surprised, he frowned and thought for a moment what he might mean, but he couldn't think of anything. "What are you talking about?" He asked.

"I love you too," he whispered, before opening his eyes and turning around in his arms to put a hand on his cheek. The older one just grinned at his confused expression. "Your message. I haven't answered you yet, so I'm doing this now. I love you with all my heart, too, George. And if you're ready, I'd like to ask you if you want to be my boyfriend."

Instantly, a smile spread across his face. "You have no idea how happy you make me," he replied and then nodded quickly. "Of course I want to be your boyfriend, silly. I've been waiting for this moment for months."

"Me too," Alex admitted with a smile. "But now it has finally come."

He nodded relieved, with which Alex drew him to himself, tenderly connecting their lips to a soft kiss. It was different from all the others they had already shared. One could literally sense that they were now on a new level that was a lot more familiar than anything before. They were officially a couple now.

After they broke loose, Alex turned completely, so he could wrap his arms around his neck and bury his face in the crook of his neck. He just kept holding him and drove over his back, which made Alex sigh.

They remained in this position for quite some time until his calm breath showed him that he was asleep. He gently grabbed his mobile phone, which was lying on the small table next to the sofa, and took a selfie, making sure that Alex's black eye was not visible.

He then sent this photo to Lando. Almost instantly he received an answer:

Fucking finally!! He's in good hands with you, so I don't have to worry anymore, do I? ;)

He grinned a little and typed 'Nope, I'll watch him' before putting his phone down again to turn his attention back to his sleeping boyfriend. He twisted a bit to kiss his head, whereupon Alex strengthened the grip around him. The older one whispered something incomprehensible, which only made him smile. This whole situation was so unbelievably peaceful that he wished it would never end again.

He was sure of one thing: he wouldn't let go of him again.

Chapter Text

Mexico, 27th Oktober, 2019

"George!" Lando's cheerful voice echoed through the paddock as he was about to go to his motorhome with Aleix. So he stopped again and looked around looking for the Brit. Finally, he found him, and the broad grin on his face surprised him. After all, his race wasn't very good as he had to retire his car. That he still looked so happy was unusual, but certainly not bad.

Lando came up to him and finally stopped in front of him. "I wanted to see Alex after the team briefing to congratulate him. The boy drives one good race after another now, huh?" he smiled.

Immediately he grinned back and shrugged his shoulders. "Yes, but he really deserves it."

Lando nodded before asking, "Will you come with me?"

He glanced at his coach, who impatiently pointed at the building. Sighing, he turned back to Lando and shook his head regretfully. "I think I still have a few appointments to work through, but I'll catch up as soon as I can. We'll see each other later when we go out to dinner."

"Alright," his friend agreed and they shared a quick handshake before he continued his way to the motorhome. Aleix reproachfully tapped on his watch, which made him laugh.

"Yes, yes, I'm coming." He giggled lightly and ran to his driver's room so that he could get changed quickly. When he was done with that, he just grabbed his mobile phone to text Alex on the way to the team briefing. Then he went to the said briefing, where he dropped himself between his race engineer and his performance engineer in front of the computer. He put on his headset and sent his boyfriend a message congratulating him and telling him that he would come by later. Finally, he made his phone disappear into his pocket.

"Okay, I'm ready," he told his engineers and focused fully on the race analysis.

Almost an hour later he was allowed to leave again. Together with Robert, who had also just finished his briefing, he went to the driver's room so he could pack his things and go to Alex's. Although they had enjoyed a lot of togetherness this morning, he longed for his nearness again. One would almost think he was addicted to him. Well, maybe he was.

"See you!" He said goodbye to his teammate when they arrived at his room. The Pole answered his words and he hurriedly entered his room.

However, the hurry faded when he saw Alex leaning against the edge of his table. The Thai Briton gave him a happy smile and put his phone next to him before coming towards him.

"Hey," he greeted his boyfriend gently. "Congratulations again on your race. I'm sure you drove great."

"I owe it all to you," he returned, wrapping his arms around his neck. "Since we talked about everything, I've been driving good races almost permanently."

Smiling, he placed his hands on his waist before he said, "Everything you need, you have yourself."

"Will I be able to change your mind about that?" he wanted to know, and he shook his head. "Well, then at least accept it when I say that you make such results even better with your congratulations."

"I'm happy to accept that," he breathed to his lips.

"Yes?" he returned with a smile and he hummed a confirmation. Then he closed his eyes before lovingly kissing him. Alex immediately kissed him back, gently bit his lower lip, and buried – as so often – a hand in his hair. He couldn't help but gasp. His travelled under Alex's shirt and stroked his exposed sides, on which goosebumps spread under his touch.

He was as if intoxicated and already pushed his shirt further up, in order to take it off at best, when suddenly someone cleared their throat. Frightened, they broke away to look at the door where Lando and Carlos were standing.

"Oh, how times change," the youngest commented provocatively, before beginning to imitate their words from half an eternity ago, "So if you get so oblivious when you're making out that you don't even notice when someone comes in, you should either lock the door or move it to the hotel."

"At that point, I would point out any hickeys, but obviously you're actually more careful than we were," Carlos added.

Alex and he exchanged an amused look and couldn't help but laugh. "Okay, you idiots. Apparently, you're still mad that we interrupted you guys making out at the time, we're really sorry," he said ironically, whereupon Alex just giggled more.

Lando, on the other hand, grinned at him while showing him his middle finger. "To explain our appearance: We went to Alex's to wait for you with him, but strangely enough, we were told he's already gone. Our first guess was that he's here with you, and look at that, we were right."

"That was really hard to figure out, wasn't it?" His boyfriend smiled before he grabbed his hand and crossed their fingers. "Well, now that you've found me and we're obviously all done with all the appointments, we can go."

"Yes, please. I‘m starving," the Spaniard agreed. He shouldered his backpack with his free arm and pressed a gentle kiss on Alex's temple before releasing his hand from his so they could go.

The four of them left his motorhome. "I'm so looking forward to L.A.! That's going to be awesome!" Lando exclaimed excitedly as they had just left the paddock.

"What are you talking about? L.A.?" He hung up confusedly and immediately the smaller one looked at him disillusioned. Of course, Carlos and Alex knew right away that he was just joking.

Last week they had been thinking about the four of them taking a vacation in L.A. after the Austin Grand Prix and booked a house to stay in. After all the drama around Alex, it was good for all of them, especially because they both had finally figured everything out between them. It would be their first vacation as a couple and from experience, he knew that they were rarely recognised in the USA. So they also had their peace.

"That was a joke, cariño," Carlos told his boyfriend caringly. "He's just teasing you."

For the second time in a short time, Lando showed him his middle finger and he burst into laughter. "It's really a phenomenon that toddlers don't understand irony," he teased him further, and he started to pout.

"You're an asshole, George. Alex, how could you fall in love with him?" Invitingly he looked at the Thai, who seemed lost in his thoughts, and smiled blissfully. "Alex?!" Lando now waved violently in front of his face and the respondent shuddered in surprise.

"What?" he wanted to know.

"I asked you how you could fall in love with such an asshole," he repeated his question and gave him a defiant look.

"No one really knows that." Alex smiled lovingly at him, so he knew he was not serious about what he said. Still, he snorted offended, "I have feelings too, you know?"

"Feelings for me." He wiggled his eyebrows and now he couldn't help but giggle.

"Fact," he commented on his statement. He unobtrusively pushed his arm around Alex's hip and pulled him so close to him, which is why he lowered his gaze with a smile.

"Yeah, I see. If Georgie would treat everyone as lovingly as he treats you, he might really be boyfriend material," Lando remarked shrugging his shoulders.

"Uhm...I'm still here." Irritated, Carlos frowned and Alex shook his head.

"No thanks, Lando. I will stay with Alex, even if your words were very flattering," he gave him a rebuff.

"That's what I mean!" he complained. "Rude!"

"Lando, it's enough," Alex said in a firm voice and briefly looked at Carlos, who still didn't seem too enthusiastic about his boyfriend's words.

Lando followed his gaze and finally seemed to realize that some of those present no longer found his jokes so funny. "No, Carlos," he exclaimed. "Te quiero més que nada."

At the latest in Lando's desperate attempt to get a Spanish accent, Carlos had to stop grinning again. "Te quiero más que nada," he nevertheless improved it, which sounded much better. "Más not més. I'm not Catalan, I'm Spanish."

Frustrated, Lando threw his hands in the air. "You knew what I was going to say, didn't you?"

"Sí, yo también te quiero más que nada," he returned with a smile and looked around briefly before leaning over and kissing him.

When they arrived at the Mercedes, which he had been given for this week, their paths parted as the two continued to their car. Meanwhile, Alex and him got into his car.

"So you don't know what you love about me, huh?" He went back to Alex's words, and he rolled his eyes with a grin.

"What was I supposed to say?" he laughed. "How you kiss me? How you're there for me? How you hold me? How you treat me? Everything about you?"

"Those were several answers that I would have found quite good," he remarked and turned his head to him.

"I didn't want to get enthused about Lando, because that would have happened." Alex grabbed his face and gave him a short kiss on the lips. "But if it makes you happy, I love everything about you."

"That actually makes me very happy, yes," he muttered before they sank into the next kiss. He most certainly could get used to such routines.

Chapter Text

Austin, 3rd November, 2019

"Babe, hurry up!" Alex shouted as he tossed his things into the toiletry bag. Then he tried to close it, and his toothbrush fell out. Cursing, he squatted down and picked it up again.

"George, our flight leaves in an hour and a half!" His boyfriend continued pressuring him.

"Yes, I know!" He shouted back and stuffed everything in together before closing the bag properly. His gaze glided through the bathroom again, where he noticed the hair gel. That couldn't be true!

"What is taking you so long?" Alex suddenly asked right next to him. Surprised, he turned to him and ran through his face.

"I hate stress," he muttered as he grabbed his hair gel. That wasn't even a lie, but who liked stress anyway? He had never been able to handle stress well, so he was always irritated and in a bad mood.

"Oh, babe," Alex breathed caringly. He took his bag and the gel and put it aside again. Then he pulled him by the hip. "I'm sorry if I stressed you out, but I bet Lando isn't finished either and we'll have to wait for him."

"It's not your fault," he sighed heavily and dropped his head on his shoulder. "I wish we had just gotten up earlier this morning and packed before the race..."

Alex kissed his forehead so he could feel his smile very clearly. "Do you really wish that?"

His question made him think back to the morning. How he had woken up with Alex in his arms, who was still asleep, just watching him sleep. It had become one of his favorite things to do, watching Alex sleep. Again and again, it made him incredibly happy to see how Alex could be so calm with him.

At some point, he had to wake him up, but he did it a little too soon so that they could exchange a few kisses. However, the few kisses quickly became quite many, so that it had taken them half an eternity to get up. But then they were already late and had to go to the paddock, to be at least nearly on time. Nevertheless, he had enjoyed this morning unbelievably, so no, he would not have preferred to exchange it for packing.

"Not really," he therefore admitted. Lovingly Alex raised one hand and put it on his cheek so he would look at him.

"We now have almost two weeks to relax as long as we want in the morning," he whispered to his lips, and he immediately began to smile.

"It's just going to be fantastic," he muttered. Smiling, the elder nodded and kissed him. In his opinion, however, it ended much too soon, which is why he followed his motion moaningly.

"George," Alex warned him, laughing, as he tried to kiss him again. "We really have to go."

He reluctantly let go of him and took his things back. "We finish that when we're on the plane."

"Alright," he smiled and followed him out of the bathroom. He packed the things in his suitcase, which he then closed.

"Wow, that's insane!" Lando was amazed as they walked through the house. "This looks even nicer than on the pictures! Oh, look, the pool!" Enthusiastically, he pulled Carlos by the sleeve to the window front in the living room, from which one could view the garden and thus also the pool. The younger one opened the sliding door and ran out with him.

"Come," Alex whispered in his ear, which immediately gave him goosebumps. "We can quickly pick the better room as long as they're outside." He gently kissed the sensitive spot right under his ear and he shuddered. By now, of course, Alex knew exactly what he liked and took him straight out of reality.

Giggling, Alex let go of him again and put a hand on his back. "Seriously, we have to hurry, or they'll grab the better room."

"I doubt that," he critically said and nodded towards Lando and Carlos who were standing next to the pool but had apparently lost interest in it. Instead, they were now engulfed in a kiss.

"I'm telling you, once they have sex and we witness it, I'll be absolutely distraught for the rest of my life!" He muttered and Alex grinned widely.

"We can also just be louder than them." He winked at him and immediately he turned completely towards his boyfriend.

"What?" He chucked up, surprised, after all, they hadn't even had sex yet. Well, they hadn't been together for long. But they hadn't talked about it, too, and that he said something as clear as that, surprised him.

Smiling, he turned away and took his suitcase to the staircase leading up to the first floor, where the bedrooms were. He quickly followed him. "Alex!" He wailed. "I want to know if you meant it."

"Well," he returned innocently and lifted his suitcase up the stairs. On the first floor, he ran into the first room on the right. "Oh, that looks nice. And it has its own bathroom!"

"Ah, come on!" He muttered offended as Alex still didn't respond to his question.

Alex came out of the room and went to the next one, where he finally decided, "No, this one doesn't have a bathroom, we'll take the other one." So he went back to the first and he followed him there.

"Alex, stop ignoring me," he muttered.

His boyfriend ran to the side of the bed by the window, because he preferred it and so he always left it to him, where he put his suitcase. "If it comes to the point where Lando and Carlos really sleep together, we'll find out if I meant it."

Slowly, he closed the door behind him and then walked towards him. "What if I'd rather find out now?"

Alex just shook his head at him but didn't say anything. So he used the moment to demandingly press his lips on Alex's and drive under his sweater. Of course, he immediately responded to the kiss, but much more gently. Nevertheless, he let himself fall back without any resistance when he pushed him on the bed.

They continued the kiss that he had interrupted and he realised that the whole thing didn't leave him unaffected at all. Especially when he detached himself to kiss Alex's throat instead, and he happily moaned, he realised how long he had actually not been intimate with anyone. With Eileen, it had never got to that point because it would never have felt right in life, and before that, he had been way too into of Alex to even think about that. So the last time would have been at the end of last year when he had had his first – and hopefully last – one-night stand.

Now Alex was under him and that was definitely nothing where he wanted to hold back, let alone could or even had to. They had been best friends for a long time, had also changed clothes in front of each other many times before, which is why there was not an inch that they had not seen of the other. They also trusted and knew each other. They had only been together for a short time, but it wasn't long before they had figured out how they could make each other go crazy.

He left a clearly visible love bite on his neck, after all, there was no one here to critically question such marks. Maybe the two McLaren drivers would indulge in a few jokes, but in the end, they were no better.

"George, wait," Alex said with heavy breath at some point, and he immediately let go of him to make sure everything was okay. Alex stroked over his cheek before raising his head a little. He immediately responded and kissed him gently.

When they disconnected, he smiled apologetically. "Believe me, I'd love to continue, but I'm really hungry and the other two could burst in at any moment. The door doesn't have a lock," he lamented. And even though he was disappointed in that, he had to admit he was right. He definitely had no interest in Lando and Carlos interrupting their first time together. Especially because Lando would really do it just to annoy them.

"Alright," he mumbled and kissed him again briefly. "But I'm not going to let it stay like that for long."

Alex had to laugh before he pushed him away a little to get up. Meanwhile, he sat on the bed and watched him peek out the window. "Shall we ask the other two if we should order pizza? After all, it's pretty late, so I doubt we'll have a big choice."

He also got up and walked up to him so that he could put his arms around him from behind. He tenderly kissed Alex's neck before starting, "That sounds like a good idea."

For a moment, when they both looked out and watched the setting sun, it was quiet between them. Alex had leaned slightly against him and placed his hands on his forearms.

At that moment, he realised that he had never loved anyone as much as Alex. And he dared to doubt that would happen again in the future. Alex was everything he had ever wanted.

Chapter Text

Los Angeles, 11th November, 2019

"Wake up, Georgie. Today is our last full day," he was gently snatched from sleep. A hand stroked through his hair as he buried his face deeper into the pillow. He didn't want to get up yet. It was way too early.

"Five more minutes?" He begged sleepily and Alex laughed quietly before pressing a kiss on his shoulder.

"I'll be back in five minutes," he assured him, then the bed wobbled slightly as he got up.

"No, Alex," he tried to stop his boyfriend from leaving, but he was already out of the room. In a bad mood, he lowered his arm, which he had previously raised to hold him up, and sighed. Why was he even awake before him anyway? Alex usually liked to sleep longer than him.

Even though his boyfriend had left, he closed his eyes again and tried to use the remaining five minutes, but the door opened again before he could even find a comfortable position.

"Five minutes have passed," the elder told him. Tormented, he turned on his back and muttered, "More like five seconds."

Alex couldn't help but smile and sat down on the bed, where he leaned over him. "We would like to have breakfast soon. So, are you coming?"

Thoughtfully, he turned his head. "Depends on what's for breakfast."

"Carlos and Lando are making pancakes," Alex smiled and ran through his hair again. Instantly, he scrunched his nose.

"Then it's a no from me. Lando can't do anything at the stove, he always burns everything," he remarked sceptically. He would definitely not eat what Lando had made, because if it wasn't burnt anyway, it was inedible. Either way, one could definitely never eat it in the end.

"He was just sitting there while Carlos was making them," Alex calmed him down and kissed his nose for a moment. "Don't worry, you won't die."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," he mumbled more to himself, wrapping his arms around Alex's waist. "Why are you even awake? Didn't you sleep well?" He then hooked anxiously to which Alex grinned.

"Look at the clock," he ordered him, which is why he did it right away. When he saw the time, his eyes widened in terror. 12:13pm? Since when did he sleep this long

"Oh fuck!" He cursed. "We wanted to go running before we go to the town!"

"Oh no," Alex regretted exaggeratedly, so he immediately noticed that he had no problem with leaving out the workout.

"Idiot," he smiled and rolled his eyes. "You don't have a good influence on me." After these words, Alex pouted and got up, which he commented with a groan. "That was a joke, Alex."

But Alex didn't even think of giving in to him. Instead, he left the room, and immediately he jumped up to follow him. "Alex!" He laughed as he rushed down the stairs. What kind of diva was he?

In the hallway, he finally caught up with him and wrapped his arms around him from behind, whereupon a squeak escaped him. He tightened his grip before he threw Alex over his shoulder.

"Georgeeeeeee!" He giggled, even though he tried to sound angry. "Let me down right now!"

"I'll think about it," he grinned back, holding his legs as he started to flicker. When they got to the kitchen and he still hadn't let him down, Alex finally gave up.

"Good morning," he greeted the couple standing at the stove. They both turned to him and Lando shook his head.

"Alex, are you all right?" he made sure.

"Oh, I have a great view," he answered, and he bit his lip hard, as it didn't take an interpretation to know what he meant by that, after all, he was hanging right over his ass.

"Ass," he hissed at him and could literally imagine his grin, even though he couldn't see it.

"You're right, George, even if I hadn't said it so directly," Alex teased him. Stunned, he snorted and opened the fridge with his free hand.

"Does anyone want juice?" He asked the group, with Lando and Carlos denying. Alex, however, exclaimed enthusiastically, "Oh yes, please."

"Nobody?" He chucked up provocatively, ignoring his boyfriend's request. "Well, then not." With that, he closed the fridge again.

Now it was Alex who hummed an insult. He laughed and then decided to free him from his suffering. He leaned over a bit so that he could gently let him back on the ground and only got a nasty look from him.

"You are unbelievable, George," he groaned, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Poor baby. Shall I pour you some juice?" Encouragingly, he stroked his head and Alex nodded as he pouted more. He leaned forward smiling to give him a short kiss on the lips. He was truly the sweetest person on the planet.

"Pancakes are ready, guys," Carlos finally said. "Are you coming?"

"Yes, one sec," he said, grabbing a glass, and juice and pouring Alex some. The Thai watched him very closely before he grabbed the full glass to go to the table.

"You're welcome!" He shouted after him. Alex then turned to him again and gave him an air kiss. He was such an idiot.

In the middle of the night, the four of them sat in the garden, his boyfriend had cuddled himself sleepily into his arms. However, he wasn't really tired yet, which was probably because he had slept so long this morning. Well, in Alex's defense it was almost 1am, so by their standards it was actually very late.

"I don't want to go back. It's so beautiful here," Lando sighed hard at some point. "It's always so stressful in the paddock and we have to hide the relationships. That sucks."

"Mhhh," he muttered approvingly and didn't want to imagine what would happen in Brazil. It had been felt twice as loud, full, and exhausting there in recent years as other drivers had told them. He thoughtfully stroked through Alex's hair. Maybe he would get his first podium, who knows? At that thought, a smile crept on his lips and he could already imagine how he was sprayed with champagne. Hopefully, at some point, they would be on the podium together again, preferably also with Lando.

A sudden vibration ripped him out of his mind. It came from Alex's phone, which he had stashed in the belly pocket of his sweater he was wearing. "Can you answer it?" he muttered half asleep, and he pulled it out of his pocket.

"Uhm...it's a video call from Alicia," he said cautiously and didn't know if he should really answer it. After all, they hadn't told their families about their relationship. They knew that they had made up and were currently on vacation in L.A. together, but that was all. Now Alex wore a sweater of his – which was also from Williams and therefore clearly not his own – and basically slept on him. Even if they had done this before, it felt different now and somehow he also assumed that people noticed it was different.

"Just answer the call," the elder only said again. So he did exactly that and immediately looked into Alicia's smiling face.

"Georgie!" she greeted him in a good mood. "Where's Alex?"

"Here." He tilted the phone a little so she could see Alex waving tiredly into the camera. Then he turned the camera completely so she could see Lando and Carlos, too. "And there are the other two."

"That looks really nice," she remarked. He turned the camera again and nodded. "What time is it in L.A.? It's really dark."

"Shortly before one," he smiled. "Eight hours after you."

"Ohhhh." She smiled, embarrassed, and stroked a strand behind her ear. "I forgot, it's already 9 in the morning over here! Mom told me to call and see if everything was okay, so I'm calling."

"Everything's fine," he assured her. "We're going to sleep soon."

"I hope so! You have a race this week," she laughed warmly.

"In six days," he reminded her. Alex muttered something incomprehensible and cuddled up closer to him, whereupon he automatically tightened his grip.

"Meanwhile only five left!" she immediately corrected him. "Alright, I'll leave you alone before Alex falls asleep on you and you have to carry him inside. See you then." Alicia waved to the camera again, then hung up.

"Maybe we should really go to bed sometime," Carlos remarked and Lando got up right away as if he had just been waiting for that sentence. He, on the other hand, gently pushed his arms under Alex's knees and his back before he lifted him up.

Less than ten minutes later, they were in bed together, Alex was almost asleep.

"I love you," he whispered lovingly and kissed his forehead. "Sleep well, Alex."

He muttered something before he just snuggled up closer to him. He gently put an arm around him and could fall asleep relaxed.

Chapter Text

São Paulo, 17th November, 2019

The first thing that crossed his mind as he passed the Red Bull on the last lap was 'shit!'. When his race engineer told him that Alex and Lewis had crashed, his bad guess was confirmed: Alex had lost his podium.

Shortly before the re-start, he had been told the positions again and his boyfriend had been second then. The podium seemed safe, but now it was gone and he could only imagine how bad he must feel.

So it didn't interest him that his PR assistant actually wanted to take him to the motorhome after the interviews. All he had to do was go see Alex and make sure he wasn't alone.

"George, what are you doing?!" It slipped his assistant when he aimed for his boyfriend's motorhome.

"I really need to see Alex," he told him, and he shook his head in disbelief before he reminded him, "You're about to have a team briefing! You're not going anywhere now."

"That wasn't a question," he stated. "He needs me now."

"George, the sooner the team briefing is over, the sooner you can go to him indefinitely," he kept trying to stop him from leaving, but he probably already realised it was hopeless.

"Ten minutes," he just promised him and continued on his planned path. His team member just let him go, but could only shake his head about him.

So he hurriedly entered the motorhome and asked for Alex, whereupon he was led to a room, where probably their briefings took place. Through the glass door, he could see his friend, who had put his head on his arms and stared at the screen. His one engineer talked to him while he pointed at the screen, but he failed to respond. Alex was engrossed in his thoughts.

Just before the employee opened the door, he finally pulled the sleeves of his fireproof shirt over his hands and ran through his face. His heart broke at the sight of him. He didn't deserve this crash, he should be happy.

When the door was opened, they looked up, and Alex immediately took off his headset and stood up after spotting him. His engineers swapped a quick glance but seemed to accept him interrupting the briefing.

The Thai Briton almost fled into his arms, whereupon he wrapped them around him, protecting him. Since Alex was still wearing his racing gear, he figured he just wanted to get the briefing over with and have some peace of mind.

"I came as fast as I could," he whispered into his ear. "I'm so sorry about what happened. You really deserved the podium."

He just nodded silently and pressed his face against his shoulder. Lovingly, he scraped his neck before closing his eyes. Even though he knew that the staff present were watching them closely, he didn't care at that moment. Alex wasn't feeling well, and the only thing that mattered was that he wanted to see him happy again.

Suddenly someone put a hand on his shoulder, so he looked up.

"We would just end the team briefing at this point," one of the engineers said, smiling compassionately. "Will you take care of him?"

"Yeah. Yeah, of course," he replied, surprised that they actually left out the analysis of the race because Alex was feeling bad.

"Okay." He patted Alex on the back again and muttered a few encouraging words before they disappeared.

"Come on, babe," he mumbled caringly when they finally were alone. "We'll pack up your things and go to my room, okay? I have to go to my team briefing, too."

"I don't want you to go," he whimpered powerlessly, automatically tightening his grip. "I don't want to be alone now."

"Should I call Lando to be with you while I'm at the team briefing?" He suggested cautiously. Alex hesitated for a moment before he nodded. "Okay." He pressed a gentle kiss on his temple, then he detached himself from him. He gently intertwined their fingers and led him to his room. Since Alex didn't make any real moves to get changed, let alone pack his things, he took care of it for him.

"Is that okay?" He made sure as he drove his hands under his shirt, and he nodded confirming so he pulled it over his head. "Do you have a sweater here?"

He shook his head without a word, and he said, "Okay, I'll give you one of mine when we're in my room. If you take off your racing suit, I'll be able to pack your things." He nodded again and put on his own fresh clothes while he stuffed everything in his backpack.

Finally, they left his motorhome together. He had put his arm tightly around Alex's shoulder and searched for Lando's contact on his phone with his free hand before dialing his number. It took a few moments before he finally came in and said, "Hey George. Are you okay?"

"Listen, it's about-," he started, but Lando interrupted him again, "Wait a second, it's too loud here. I have to go somewhere else fast, or I won't understand you."

In fact, there was loud music and shouting in the background, which didn't surprise him, as Carlos had driven home a podium after Lewis's penalty. It was obvious that the team would celebrate this, but gradually one could hear the sounds getting quieter. Soon afterwards, Lando gave him the signal that he could continue talking, which is why he explained, "It's about Alex. I have to go to the team briefing, but he doesn't want to be alone right now. Could you maybe come to my motorhome and check on him? I know Carlos is on the podium, but-"

"I'll be right there!" Lando interrupted him again and he couldn't put into words how grateful he was. That was what he loved about their friendship. Although the three of them liked to tease each other, they were always there for the others when they weren't feeling good, even if, as in this case, Lando's boyfriend had gotten his first podium in Formula 1, which the younger one would certainly like to celebrate extensively with him.

"Okay, Lando is coming soon," he told Alex as they entered his motorhome together.

"There you are, at last, George!" James, his racing engineer, complained immediately. But then his eyes fell on Alex, who really looked terrible, and he paused for a moment. "I think we can wait another five minutes.

He mouthed a 'thank you' and took Alex to his room, where he ordered him to the sofa. He also quickly changed and handed him a sweater, which he put on. As soon as this was done, the door opened again.

"Here I am," Lando announced breathlessly, as if he had run his way here, and sat down next to Alex, around whom he caringly put an arm. Alex dropped against him, which calmed him down. At least that way he could be sure Alex was in good hands.

So he knelt down in front of his boyfriend and took his face in his hands. "I love you," he whispered, before pressing a short, loving kiss on his lips. "I'll hurry, I promise."

Alex nodded weakly and he rushed out of the room to begin the team briefing as quickly as possible.

In fact, it didn't take an hour for Alex and him to finally drive back to the hotel. Lando, on the other hand, stayed in the paddock to celebrate with his team. Anyway, he was able to take care of Alex again, besides they both didn't want to steal Carlos' boyfriend on one of the best evenings of his life.

When they had arrived in the hotel room, it was suddenly Alex who closed the door behind them and pulled him by the hip to kiss him demandingly. Surprised, he returned the kiss and tried to control his desire, which he had already ignited with this simple kiss. Impatiently, Alex drove his hands under his shirt, whereupon he detached himself from him with a heavy heart.

"Alex, what's going on?" He breathed perplexed and frowned.

"I want you," he whispered almost desperately. "Please, George."

"I don't know if this is the right time," he gently remarked, swallowing lightly. He didn't want him to feel pushed away, especially right now, but he also didn't want them both to regret their first time in retrospect.

"Yes. It is the right moment," Alex contradicted him immediately, making it harder and harder for him to hold back.

He looked him in the eye uncertainly. Everything in him was screaming that it was wrong for him to sleep with Alex now. He was sad and confused, just wanted to be distracted from his pain. Was this really supposed to be their first time? Then again Alex looked at him so hopefully and radiated a certain security. He didn't seem foggy or anything, he really wanted to sleep with him.

"Okay," he decided quietly, and immediately, Alex gave him a relieved smile, then he took off his shirt. It found its way to the ground, where his shirt also landed shortly afterwards. Their lips met again, but this time he made sure the kiss was more loving and especially slower. His hands went to Alex's thighs, whereupon he lifted him up.

Without breaking their kiss, he carried him to the bed and placed him on it carefully. Now he let go of his lips to slowly kiss his torso. Alex's hands ran into his hair and his breath sped up automatically, showing him that his gentle kisses were good. He didn't mean to move too fast. He wanted them both to be able to enjoy it in peace.

He took one last look at Alex before he opened his pants. However, he had closed his eyes and seemed relaxed, which he thought was a good sign. He leaned back to him and whispered to his lips, "I love you so much, Alex."

"I love you too," he replied just as quietly. They kissed one more time, while he slowly stripped his pants off his legs.

Just the fact that Alex trusted him in such an emotional situation showed him how much he loved him, and it made him incredibly happy that from now on he would be the one who could always get him out of reality.

Chapter Text

Monaco, 18th November, 2019

Nervous, Alex stopped outside the door and dug out his key. With trembling fingers, he lifted it to unlock the door but then paused. Compassionately, he approached him, kissed his cheek, and squeezed his free hand.

Alex wasn't so sure if he wanted to go back to Monaco, he knew that. Since they were together, Alex had spent almost all his free time with him, but he also went back to his family after the bruises had faded. So the last time he had been here had been the day he had broken up with Jack.

He had told him that Jack had beaten him up and destroyed the apartment before he had run away, leaving Alex alone. He hadn't taken the keys with him, but the Thai was still afraid Jack would come back. However, he had to return sooner or later, after all, most of his belongings were still here. So they had already agreed that they would fly here, after the Grand Prix in Brazil, and – if Alex was mentally okay with that – they would stay here until the next race.

He already doubted that though. His boyfriend couldn't even unlock the door. He didn't know if it would help in any way, but he put his head on Alex's shoulder, letting him feel he was watching out for him, and muttered, "I'm here, okay? Nothing will happen to you, I promise."

Apparently, these words seemed to give him the strength to put the key in the keyhole and open the door. For a moment they stopped in front of it, just stared into the empty hallway, then he took a step towards the entrance. When he had entered, he reached out a hand to Alex. The elder hesitated again, but then resolutely grasped for it, and he gently led him inside.

After the door was closed, he took a deep breath. "The worst is done," he cheered Alex up and stroked over the back of his hand. "I'm really proud of you for doing this."

"Sooner or later I had to come back anyway," his boyfriend whispered exhausted, and slowly took off his shoes, which he did, too.

"You could have given Charles the key and asked him if he would pack everything for you. I'm sure he would have done it," he contradicted him. "But you're here, so I'm proud of you."

"He would have started asking questions at the latest if he had come into the living room," Alex muttered, releasing his hand to proceed. Testing, he walked down the hallway and glanced into every adjoining room, while he just watched him. Finally, he nodded. "No sign of him. Everything looks exactly the same as when I left."

"Then let's start cleaning up," he decided as he looked around. In the hallway, it still looked normal, but this picture disappeared when he entered the living room. Cushions were lying around, the glass table had been smashed, so there were shards everywhere, and the TV was knocked over.

When he took a look at the kitchen, he shuddered again. The cupboards were wide open and anything that could be broken had been thrown on the floor, which was therefore covered with broken porcelain and glass particles.

"What the fuck?" He mumbled more to himself. Who the hell did that? Then again, who the hell hit his partner? Exactly, only completely crazy people, and Jack was definitely one of those. Unfortunately, he could only imagine Alex lying on the floor in pain, while Jack destroyed everything he could to inflict as much pain as possible on Alex

"You can say that out loud," Alex sighed behind him. He turned to him and saw the tears in his eyes very clearly. However, he never made a big thing out of his feelings with him, which made him happy somehow. They were finally past the stage where they had to hide their true feelings from each other.

Lovingly, he pulled him into his arms and gave him a gentle kiss on the head. "We can fix this, okay? And then we refurbish the apartment, nicer than last time."

"I only buy plastic things from now on," Alex said dryly. "If you ever lose your mind, at least you can't destroy anything."

Of course, it was only a joke, but he didn't find it funny. He shook his head resolutely and murmured, "You'll forget that very quickly. I'm not like him, Alex. I would never hurt you in any way."

"I know, I'm sorry," he groaned. "I know you're not like him. You take care of me, you support me unconditionally, and I feel safe with you."

"Because I love you, Alex." He gently raised his chin to make him look at him. "Unlike him, I really love you. If you get hurt, it hurts my heart, so I want to avoid it at all costs."

His boyfriend smiled faintly and looked him in the eye. "How did I deserve you?"

"Ask the question again and I'll create a PowerPoint presentation where I'll show you how great you are," he threatened him with a smile and now Alex even had to laugh a little.

"Okay, okay. I won't ask again," he giggled before putting his arms around his waist. More seriously, he continued, "I love you too, George. So, so much."

Like every time, these words made his heart beat significantly faster. Hearing it from Alex was just indescribably beautiful and every time he felt special. Lovingly, he leaned over him and kissed the tip of his nose before leaning his forehead against his.

"There's something I wanted to talk about," Alex added hesitantly. He closed his eyes and waited for him to speak, but he didn't. So he opened them again to look at him.

A slight blush had fallen on Alex's cheeks and he bit himself embarrassedly on the lip. Confused, he put his hand on his cheek before he asked, "What is it?"

"Yesterday...," he finally started. "Yesterday was really beautiful. Maybe it wasn't what you imagined it like, I'm sorry, but I still wanted to tell you that I thought it was perfect. Thanks for being so careful."

Now it was him who bit his lip, but only to stop his broad grin. Hearing that from Alex made him feel better. Of course, he was asking himself if Alex enjoyed it as much as he did. He had always made sure he was comfortable and relaxed, but in the end, he was still afraid that it had been too slow for him or that he had done something wrong. But the fact that his actions had been exactly right was incredibly relieving.

"I found it just as beautiful," he finally whispered to his lips. "And don't worry that I had imagined it differently. I don't care how or when it happened. I would have waited ten years if I had to. The only thing that mattered to me was that you were ready to do it."

Alex was still looking deep into his eyes as a broad smile spread across his lips. Then he leaned over to him and kissed him softly, which he immediately replied. Unfortunately, that kiss didn't last long. Instead, Alex detached himself and stepped back. "We should clean up and then go shopping while it's still bright outside."

So he started to clean up the whole apartment, which took quite a long time. But when it was finally done, they went shopping, because after a month, of course, there was not so much food to be found, which was not yet moldy. He had found a pack of noodles, but nothing else, so they couldn't get around shopping.

It was late at night when they dropped themselves on the sofa exhausted with a bottle of red wine. He leaned back tired and watched Alex open the bottle and pour something into the new wine glasses for both of them. Smiling, he handed him one, then took the other, which he held out to him.

"To us," he said, and Alex repeated the words before they toasted. After the two of them had taken a few sips, the older one put his glass back down to snuggle up to him instead.

"Thank you for helping me and being such great support for me. I could never have done it without you," Alex whispered in his sweater.

He gently stroked his hair and remained silent for a moment before placing his lips on his forehead for several seconds in response. Alex seemed to understand it because he just cuddled himself closer without a word and sighed relaxedly.

He really didn't want to destroy the atmosphere, but since they had arrived at noon, a thought had been stuck in his mind. It wasn't the first time it had been following him, but today it got extreme and he finally needed an answer.

So he took a deep breath, then he asked the question that was bothering him, "Are you going to report Jack to the police?"

At first, there was no response. Alex didn't tense, didn't look up, and didn't say anything, so he just kept waiting. Of course, Alex had heard his question, but he probably needed a moment to think about it himself.

"No," he finally returned. "I've thought about it before, but I don't have any proof. Besides, I don't want it to go public in any way."

"Okay." This answer was completely enough for him. He didn't want to push him to go to the police, and besides, he was right. Without proof, they wouldn't be able to do anything, and Jack would certainly not confess to what he did.

He kissed his forehead again. He just wanted them to put this chapter behind them and look forward together because he was more than sure that the future had a lot in store for them.

Chapter Text

Monaco, night between 18th and 19th November, 2019

A slight groan escaped him as he woke up in the middle of the night to a hand hitting his face. At first, he was too sleepy to realise what was happening, but then he heard Alex muttering restlessly next to him, so his brain was slowly processing what was happening.

Concerned, he opened his eyes, so he could immediately see his boyfriend tossing his head back and forth in his sleep and beating him again and again. He was able to avoid another blow by sitting up and felt for the lamp on his bedside table, so a few seconds later the room was bathed in dull light.

He gently grabbed his wrists with his hands and held them so that he wouldn't hit him again. "Alex," he muttered quietly in a husky voice. Meanwhile, he also noticed the tears that were running down Alex's cheeks. The older one didn't react, tried to get out of his grip by all means, and now he was kicking his legs, too.

"Alex!" He repeated his name a lot louder and grew dissatisfied when his foot caught his leg. His boyfriend still didn't wake up from it, so he changed his initial plan. He let go of his wrists again, shook his shoulder instead, but that didn't work either, except for him beating his hands off.

"Fuck!" He cursed and looked around, noticing the half-full glass of water on the bedside table. He hesitated for a moment, but then Alex whimpered quietly again, so he grabbed it and tipped the water over his head. Immediately his boyfriend shook up, taking a deep breath. For a brief moment, he looked at him in fright, then he turned away his gaze and took a deep breath several times.

Worriedly, he put the glass back and slid closer to him. "I'm sorry, but you just didn't wake up. That was my last idea," he breathed apologetically as he gently wrapped his arms around his torso.

Instantly, Alex sank against him and dropped his head to his chest. "It's okay. Thank you for waking me up," he nodded before closing his eyes exhausted.

He gave him several minutes to calm down completely, then he hung on unsurely, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Just a stupid nightmare, nothing more," the elder said shaking his head. "It's a bit difficult to be here again, but it's going to be better tomorrow."

"Okay," he whispered, pressing a tender kiss on his head. For some time they remained in the position until Alex slightly detached himself from the hug.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom and freshen up," Alex told him, swinging his legs out of bed. "I'll be right back." He left the bedroom with a faint smile, while he also stood up.

He used the time he was gone to change the sheets. Since Alex had already kicked the blanket and the pillow out of the bed anyway, they had not gotten any of the water on, but the sheets had. He had never been the best at making beds, so it took quite a while to get the sheets changed, but in the end, he was satisfied with the result.

With the old sheet in his hand, he went to the bathroom to throw it in the laundry basket and to look for Alex, who still hadn't come back. Through the open door, he could see him leaning on the edge of the sink and looking in the mirror. He had taken off his sweaty shirt, was now shirtless.

"Are you sure everything's okay?" He made sure again, but Alex just nodded. Again, he forced a smile at him, then turned the water on and smacked a load of it in his face. To cheer up the mood, he joked, "Has my attack not been enough for you yet?"

In fact, he elicited an honest smile and a funny shake of the head from Alex at that comment. He threw the sheets into the laundry basket before reaching out to him. "Let's go back to sleep."

"Sounds good," he thought, intertwining their fingers. He gently guided him back to the bedroom, where Alex quickly slipped into a new shirt, while he made myself comfortable in bed. Then Alex laid down with him and he pulled him right close to him.

"I'll take care of you, I promise." He tenderly pressed some kisses on his face, which is why he hummed happily. "Sleep now. I'll stay awake until you fall asleep."

He didn't let himself be told twice, but snuggled closer to him and closed his eyes. He waited for his breath to become calmer, then he pressed one last loving kiss on his forehead before he drifted off as well.

The next time, he woke up because it was suddenly strangely cold next to him. For the second time that night, he opened his eyes and noticed that Alex was no longer lying next to him, which made him sigh heavily. The digital alarm clock next to the bed indicated that it was 5am. Why the hell wasn't he in bed?

Sleep drunken, he stood up and bumped out of the room to look for his boyfriend. Instinctively, he ran into the living room, where he found him immediately. With a book in his hand, he sat on the sofa and he sighed again. He didn't know what sleep meant to Alex, but to him, Alex definitely wasn’t sleeping.

"What's going on here?" He wanted to know slightly reproachfully and leaned back into the door frame with crossed arms.

Surprised, Alex looked up from his book. "George! Why aren't you sleeping anymore?" he asked the counter-question without responding to him.

"I could ask you that too," he sighed, and now approached him until he was able to drop himself next to him. "What's going on, babe?"

"I don't know." Desperately, he shrugged his shoulders and put the book aside. "Every time I close my eyes, I see Jack in front of me and I imagine some sounds that aren't there at all. I just can't sleep anymore. So I acted asleep until you fell asleep, and then I got up so I wouldn't wake you up again."

Lovingly, he shook his head and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "That wasn't my idea when I said I'd stay awake until you fell asleep."

"I know," he said quietly. "But I didn't want to keep you awake anymore. You would've been worried."

"I worry more if my boyfriend stays up all night, but pretends it's nothing," he muttered. "I'd rather stay awake with you, even if we're just watching a show or something. I don't feel comfortable when you're not feeling well."

"Alright," he said and put a hand on his cheek. "Then let's stay awake together."

Satisfied, he nodded before pulling him in a short kiss. "Should we watch Modern Family? I'm sure this will distract you."

"Okay," he agreed, grabbing his laptop on the living room table. Meanwhile, he stretched out and grabbed the blanket that was on the sofa. His boyfriend placed the laptop so they both had a good view on the monitor. Then he cuddled up to him sideways and he carefully spread the blanket over both of them.

Protective, he wrapped an arm around him as he continued the show where they left off the last time. They liked to watch Modern Family since the show had come out when they needed something to laugh about after bad races or bad days in general. Time and again it managed to distract them both, like today.

After three episodes, he realised that Alex wasn't responding to any funny scene anymore. He glanced at his boyfriend, whose eyes had fallen shut and who was breathing very calmly again.

"Alex?" He whispered again just to be sure, as he didn't know if he would try to act asleep again, even though he didn't expect him to. But Alex didn't react at all, so he carefully turned off the show and shut down the laptop. He didn't want to risk waking him up by carrying him to the bedroom, so he just kept him close to him, whereupon he happily mumbled something incomprehensible.

"Sleep well, baby. I love you more than anything else," he whispered and closed his eyes for what felt like the thousandth time tonight. At least a few hours of sleep would do them good after that night.

Chapter Text

Monaco, 24th November, 2019

"Do you think we should tell our families?" He asked Alex as they were having breakfast together. They had spent the last few days fixing up his apartment, replacing broken things, and donating Jack's clothes he hadn't taken with him. Now the apartment looked completely different again and they were very satisfied with the result.

Alex looked up and swallowed the piece of bread before he nodded thoughtfully. "Probably we should. They most likely know anyway, spending as much time as we do together is kinda obvious."

He laughed a little. Yeah, that could well be. Although they had always spent a lot of time together, they had never been as inseparable as they had been since their relationship. Meanwhile, he hated it when he didn't have Alex with him permanently during the day.

"Shall we do it today?" He suggested, and Alex's eyes began glowing when he seemed to have an idea.

"And to celebrate the day, we're going to have a fancy dinner in the evening," he exclaimed enthusiastically, which made him smile.

"Fancy dinner?" He checked. They had never gone out to dinner before, usually, they cooked or ordered something as they didn't like people recognising them on the street.

"Yes, like a date." With a knowing grin, he got up and went around the table to sit on his lap. Meanwhile, he put his hands on his hip to give him the support he needed. Alex wrapped his arms around his neck and continued, "We've never been on a real date, I'd love to catch up. So, will you do me the honour and go out with me tonight?"

"I'll think about it," he teased him and kissed him briefly, to which he replied satisfied. "Okay, let's go on a date."

"Well, that's what enthusiasm sounds like," Alex grinned. Innocently, he leaned to his ear and whispered, "A date means I have to keep my hands off you and that is very hard for me." He watched with satisfaction as goosebumps spread over his neck. Alex got a little tense as he breathed a gentle kiss on his neck, and he squeezed closer to him.

"Idiot," his boyfriend mumbled anything but relaxed. "You're a fucking idiot."

"But you still love me," he remarked, and Alex scrunched his face, muttering a soft 'naaaah'. Instantly, he pushed his lower lip forward. "Okay, that's it with the date."

Laughing, Alex pressed several kisses on his face. "I'm just kidding, babe. You'll also get a reward if you come with me," he promised, and immediately he listened again.

"Reward?" He made sure, interested, which made him laugh.

"You really are an idiot," the Thai Briton commented and kissed him again briefly. "But yes, reward." The RedBull rider winked at him, then he got up and went back to his seat.

They finished breakfast in peace before they threw theirselves on the sofa together. Alex immediately dialed his mother's number, who also picked up shortly after.

"Alex! How nice to hear from you again," she said in a good mood. "What's it like in Monaco? Are you having a good time?"

"Uhmm..." Alex gave him a questioning look, and he nodded slightly. "Yes, we are recovering well. Mum, I have to tell you something."

"Of course. What is it?" she wanted to know caringly and he took a deep breath before confessing to her, "George and I are together, like in a relationship. That's why I broke up with Jack."

"Finally!" She cheered instantly. "You can't believe how long we've all been waiting for this! I already noticed it in 2017, when George used to sleep over at ours so often, you only had eyes for each other. And please, you've taken every opportunity to seek each other's closeness."

A bit overwhelmed, the Thai looked at his mobile phone while he scratched his neck embarrassingly. He was just as surprised. Had she noticed it already in 2017? He wasn't even aware at the time that he had feelings for Alex, how the hell could she have known?

"I'm happy for you," Minki just kept on talking when none of them replied. "And I know he'll treat you better than Jack, Alex. You really should watch out for him. He‘s a keeper."

"Mum!" He whispered, embarrassingly touched, and gave him a side glance. He couldn't help but smile and form his beloved 'FACT' with his lips and he smiled a bit.

"What? It's the truth!" She insisted. "You were never as happy with Jack as you were with George."

Obviously, she really had no idea that he could hear every word. Nevertheless, her statements meant a lot to him and made him incredibly happy. Having Minki's consent was one of the most important things, after all, she was his mother. The fact that she thought more of him than of Jack, even though she knew nothing of his actions, reassured him somewhere.

"He really makes me very happy," Alex said more to himself. Smiling, he placed his hand on Alex's thigh, and he immediately intertwined their fingers.

For several minutes, the two of them talked to each other, but he deliberately held back before they said goodbye. As soon as that was done, Alex climbed onto his lap and wrapped him in a loving kiss. Surprised by this action, he froze before finally returning the kiss, which quickly intensified. In between, he even forgot to breathe, which he only noticed when they broke away again.

"And what have I done to deserve that?" He breathlessly demanded to know, and Alex grinned broadly.

"I just wanted to show you how much I love you," he explained, shrugging his shoulders.

"Oh?" He smiled a little and bound their lips to many small kisses, in which he hummed a consent.

It took several moments to let go of each other again, but eventually, they managed to do it. Alex, however, had made himself far too comfortable on his lap to stand up while he called his parents.

"George?" His father immediately answered the call. "Everything okay?"

"It's never been better," he smiled. "Is Mum listening too?"

"Yes, I'm listening," Alison shouted from the background, and his smile immediately grew bigger. He always made sure that he talked to his parents on the phone often enough, but lately, he had neglected that a bit, so it was really nice to hear their voices again. He had to go and visit them the next time he got home.

"Good. There's something I want to tell you," he pressed around a bit, just like Alex did before.

"What? You're in a relationship with Alex?" His father joked and he froze. His boyfriend also lifted his head off his shoulder to look at him in surprise. How did they get that idea?

"Uhmm..." He cleared his throat unsure, which was enough for them as an answer.

"Oh, really?" His mother said confidently, and he then hesitantly confirmed this assumption officially. "That's beautiful!"

"We're really happy for you!" His father agreed. Before he could say anything, his mother offered, "How about we all celebrate Christmas together? With Alex's mother and his siblings?"

In fact, he didn't think the idea was too bad, and when he shared a look with Alex, he saw that he wasn't completely averse to it either. He gave him a slight nod, so he replied, "That sounds good. We could do it at my place. There's plenty of room for everyone. But we still need to talk to Minki to see if that would work for her at all."

"Of course, it's still a month away. You focus on each other and on the last race first, then we can still plan it,“ his father reassured him. "Then enjoy your last days off, will you? What are you doing today?"

"We wanted to go have dinner in the evening," he told them, resting one arm on the back of his head. "And until then...I don't know. Theoretically, we still have to train." At the last word, Alex immediately grumbled dissatisfied and cuddled closer to him, which he commented with a laugh. "But Alex doesn't really feel like it."

His parents echoed his laughter before his mother continued, "We don't want to bother you anymore. Have a nice day."

"You too. I'll get back to you as soon as we know anything about Christmas!" He promised them. They agreed with him and then they said their goodbyes.

"Do we have to train?" Alex grumbled not a second later. "I don't want to."

"You never want to, but yes, we have to." Encouragingly, he kissed his temple and pushed him from his lap to stand up.

"We could also do bed sports," he started a last desperate attempt to shy away from training, but feelingly for the first time, he didn't give in to him.

"Tempting, but we'll save that for later. I'm getting a reward anyway," he reminded him. Excessively tortured, the elder stretched out his arms, whereupon he pulled him on his feet, and sighed, "Okay, let's train."

In fact, training was actually more fun than expected. With Alex, everything was a thousand times funnier, even boring things.

In the evening, they got ready to go out and he was just about to put his last strand of hair in the right place with hair gel when arms were wrapped around him from behind. Soon after, Alex put his head on his shoulder and looked at him through the mirror.

"You look perfect, babe. It doesn't matter if this one strand is sitting perfectly or not," he smiled honestly. After these words, he lowered his hands to wash them. If Alex liked how he looked he had achieved everything, whom else should he dress up for?

Satisfied, Alex kissed his cheek, then let go of him again. Instead, he held out his one hand to him. "Ready?"

Happily, he grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers. "One more thing."

Confused, his boyfriend bent his head but seemed to know what he was getting at as he approached him slowly. A heartbeat later, their lips met and immediately moved in a perfect rhythm. As always, his whole body tingled comfortably. He hoped that feeling would never go away.

"Okay," he finally breathed to his lips as they broke away. "Now I'm ready."

Alex tenderly kissed him one last time, then he pulled him behind him into the hallway, where they put on their shoes and jackets. Hand in hand, they stepped into the cold November air a few minutes later, which however pleased him today. Packed in a thick jacket and scarf, it was all the more unlikely that anyone would recognise them. So they were able to be close even though they were in public.

And what could be better?

Chapter Text

Abu Dhabi, 1st December, 2019

"What a season," he muttered as he sat down between Alex and Lando at the huge table. His boyfriend gave him a compassionate smile and placed his hand unobtrusively on his thigh.

"Next season will be better for you," he cheered hm up before putting his head on his shoulder. "You'll get your first points, I'm sure."

"Yeah, sooner or later it will happen, I know that too. The question is when," he sighed and looked down at him. At the sight of him, however, a smile crept on his lips. "But it's not just bad things that happened this year. Especially off track, huh?"

A slight blush spread across Alex's cheeks and he hid his face in the crook of his neck. "You're so in love, it's unbelievable," Lando commented. Laughing, he turned his head to him and leaned back a bit.

"As if you and Carlos were any different," he smiled.

"Well, he must have found someone better," the younger one pouted and nodded towards the Spaniard, who had knelt down between Max and Daniel and was talking to them.

Lewis had suggested at the end of the season that they all spend the night after the race together. Of course, they were down for that immediately and here they were.

"I'm sure he would come back if you asked him to," he remarked, and Lando shrugged.

"If he just wants to have fun with others, that's okay," he gave back, making his voice extra whiny. He laughed again and looked around so that he could decipher the different groups that had formed.

The older drivers like Lewis, Bottas, Seb, and Kimi as well as the Haas drivers had gathered a bit apart and all listened with interest to Robert, who apparently told them something and gestured very wildly.

As already mentioned, Daniel and Max were sitting obliquely opposite them at the table, Carlos had joined them, but he didn't seem to want to stay with them for too long, because he didn't take a seat. The three had a wonderful time, they laughed again and again and Lando's pout grew bigger and bigger.

The second Renault driver was with Charles, Antonio, Pierre, Daniil, Lance, and Checo, who also formed the last group.

Nobody seemed to be paying any attention to them right now, so he gave Alex a gentle kiss on the head. Alex then loosened himself again and smiled briefly. "What took you so long? When I walked in, you said you only needed five minutes. It took you 15 minutes." Alex frowned sceptically and rested his head on the palms of his hands.

"That's right," Lando agreed. "Alex asked me to save the middle seat for you, but you just didn't come."

"Uhmmm..." Nervously, he looked for an excuse, because he certainly couldn't tell the truth. "I just packed my things quickly."

"Why is that? I thought you wanted to do your hair?" Alex hooked up irritatedly and he replied meaninglessly, "Yes, I don't know. I just wanted to pack."

The two didn't seem to buy it, but they didn't ask what made him feel better. He had never been a good liar before, and if he had to keep doing that, he'd certainly have fucked it up. Although, that wasn't exactly a lie. He had really packed a little, but only to make the room look nice when Alex and him came back later.

"Here I am again." A good-humoured (?) Carlos sat in the free space next to Lando, who examined him reproachfully.

"You've only been gone half an eternity," he reproved, crossing his arms in front of his chest, "But as long as you could enjoy yourself..."

"Lando," he smiled, surprised, "Are you jealous?"

"No!" It came back as if it had been shot from a gun. "Of course not! I'm not jealous!"

"Sure," he whispered ironically to Alex, who giggled quietly. Lando immediately gave them a nasty look and seemed to be telling them to shut up.

Carlos laughed lovingly and put a hand to the cheek of the Briton, so he was forced to look at him. Then he breathed something in Spanish that he himself didn't understand, but Lando seemed to understand it all the better. He instantly blushed and even smiled a little. Satisfied, Carlos bandaged her lips to a short kiss.

They didn't make a big deal out of their relationship in front of the other drivers. Of course, they didn't run to everyone and tell them about it, but they didn't hold back from exchanging tenderness when they were among theirselves. Alex and him, on the other hand, were different, which may also be because they hadn't been together for as long as the McLaren drivers. That's when he remembered it had to be almost eight months now. It was unbelievable how quickly time had passed. It felt like yesterday when the three of them had sat in Lando's room after the race in Australia and he couldn't stop raving about Carlos. At the time, he had been skeptical, but now he couldn't deny that the two complemented each other well.

"What are you doing on New Year's Eve?" asked Carlos as he pulled Lando's chair closer to him so that the younger one could cuddle up to him.

"We haven't really planned anything yet," he thoughtfully admitted, "We're just in the middle of planning Christmas, so New Year's Eve has somehow slipped into the background."

"Great!" Lando exclaimed enthusiastically. "We wanted to have a party at my place. A few Formula 2 and 3 drivers have already agreed, it would be cool if you could come too."

He exchanged a glance with his boyfriend, who was chewing on his lip. He could imagine what he was thinking: in front of the other drivers, they would definitely not exchange a New Year's kiss. On the other hand, the party sounded kind of nice and a New Year's Eve alone at home would not be too exciting.

So he bent his head slightly and said to Alex, "I think that's a good idea."

"Okay, we'll come," he told the couple. "Shall we help you with the preparations?"

"We'll definitely get back to that," their best friend assured them and grinned broadly. "Cool you're in. It would have been boring without you."

"What would have been boring without them?" Charles intervened, who was standing behind them with Pierre.

"Carlos and I are having a party on New Year's Eve. If you want you can come too," Lando immediately offered them and he just shook his head. Did he have a plan where all the people would stay overnight?

"Unfortunately, we have already planned something with our girlfriends, but thanks for asking us," the Frenchman refused the invitation and Charles nodded regretfully before adding grinning, "Maybe next year."

Lando only muttered, 'You don't know what you're missing' before the two drivers sat down with them. They talked for quite a while until Daniil came up with the great idea of playing Truth or Dare. They all got together at the table and as the process progressed, more and more alcohol came into play. Since he was always more of a lightweight, he deliberately held back, but many others didn't.

After half an hour, Carlos had to pull Lando onto his lap and hold him, so that he would not permanently grab a new drink, which Kimi handed him with a slight grin. For the rest of them, it was very amusing to watch the Briton reach out desperately, which was then stopped by Carlos before he could reach the glass.

The evening was really quite funny and he was more than happy that Lewis had had the idea. He always got into conversation with drivers, whom he didn't really have much to do with.

It was after midnight when Alex and him finally decided to say goodbye to the others and go to sleep instead. Or at least Alex thought so.

As soon as the lift doors closed behind them, he pulled the taller to him and placed his lips on his.

"Mh," he muttered somewhat surprised, before lovingly returning the kiss. He gently buried his hands in his hair and pressed closer to him, to which he responded with a pleasant sigh. He had definitely missed that all night.

The 'bing' of the lift caused them to drift apart. Smiling, he intertwined their fingers and dragged him behind him to his room. "Wait outside for a moment, will you?" He asked him as he opened the door a crack.

"George," Alex whined, "Do I have to?"

"Yes, you do." He gave him an apologetic kiss on the cheek before he slipped through the crack into the room and closed the door behind him. He quickly took matches from the drawer of the nightstand to light the candles he had set up earlier. Then he turned on the light chains before he looked at the whole work with satisfaction.

That was why it had taken him so long to go to the party. He had spread a trail of rose petals from the door to the bed and got a bottle of champagne to celebrate Alex's sensational season. He just hoped he'd like it.

He hurriedly ran back to the door and opened it again. "Close your eyes," he ordered. Sighing, Alex did, and he held the door open with one foot while he grabbed Alex's hands and gently led him into the room.

"Georgie, what's all this?" he asked. He pushed him in front of him so he could see everything perfectly, and then wrapped his arms around him from behind.

"You can open your eyes now," he allowed him, which he immediately did. He looked around in amazement.

"Wow, what's that for?" Alex breathed stunned, and turned around in his arms.

"You've had such a good season, we have to celebrate," he smiled. "Moreover, I love you and wanted to make you happy."

His boyfriend shook his head a little while his eyes became glassy. "You're crazy, babe. Do you know that?" he whispered, wrapping his arms around his neck. "Thank you for everything you've been doing for me all this time. You have no idea how happy you make me."

"If I make you as happy as you make me, then I am satisfied." he gently kissed his forehead. "So, what do you think? Shall we celebrate?"

"Our parties together have always been the best," he whispered and began to kiss his neck. "You make it really hard for me to hold back."

"Says the right one," he gasped, as Alex had now reached his weak spot and started to suck on the sensitive skin below his ear. He felt his broad grin on his skin. They knew they drove each other crazy.

"The champagne, Alex...," he tried to stop him, but he only muttered, "It can wait."

Of course, he let himself be persuaded, how could he not? So they fell into a demanding kiss and slowly stumbled to bed.

Yeah, he could get used to this new form of private celebration.

Chapter Text

Milton Keynes, 25th December, 2019

"Merry Christmas, babe," he gently whispered to Alex's lips before kissing him. Instantly, he felt him start smiling and wrapping his arms around his neck as he returned the kiss tiredly. He gently bit his lower lip, whereupon a satisfied sigh escaped him. Now his boyfriend let his hands slide down his back and shortly after, they slipped under his sweater. It wasn't hard to know what he was getting at, but unfortunately, they didn't have time for that.

He had certainly let him sleep half an hour longer than planned because he just looked too cute when he slept. His arms wrapped tightly around his pillow, his hair shuffled, and the peaceful expression...he really didn't have the heart to wake him up.

That's why he detached himself from him, which Alex commented with a disappointed lament. "Georgie..." He opened his eyes in torment and looked at him begging. "There must be so much time at the Feast of Love."

"Believe me, I'd love to continue, but we still have a lot of work to do," he regretted. "So no, we don't have that much time right now. I've been letting you sleep for a while."

"I'd rather sleep with you than get up later," he muttered offended, and even though that was definitely not his goal, he blushed hard. Embarrassed, he shook his head and muttered, "Okay, I'll remember that for next time."

He laughed a little before raising his head to kiss him tenderly again. "You should remember that," he snuck into the kiss. Smiling, he let go of Alex now and crawled out of bed.

"I'm going to the living room," he told him. Pouting, his boyfriend stretched out his arms and he sighed heavily, "I can't carry you everywhere in the morning, you lazy ass."

"Yes, you can," he remarked. Again he put on his puppy eyes and god, how could he resist him? Of course, Alex immediately noticed that he had given in to him and slipped to the edge of the bed, whereupon he lifted him up.

Happily, he buried his face in his neck and wrapped his legs around his hip. "You're just a baby that happened to be in an adult body," he commented, which made him giggle. Wordlessly he snuggled closer to him and he carried him into the living room. Once there, he looked up again. With glowing eyes, he looked at the Christmas tree, which they had decorated together yesterday and now looked accordingly beautiful.

"This is going to be the best Christmas ever," Alex raved as he was able to turn his gaze away at some point and instead looked at him. Then, he also noticed that he had been watching him all the time with a dreamy smile, which only got bigger when their eyes met. "Oh, Georgie...," he whispered softly. "You have no idea what you're doing to me when you look at me like that."

"Ah?" He chuckled with a broad grin and allowed him to join their lips again and again. In between, he still managed to bring out, "What am I doing to you?"

Sighing, Alex let go of his lips and honestly looked him in the eyes, "Every time you look at me like that, I'm the happiest man on the planet, and I'm not even exaggerating. You show me every day that I'm loved, and you do everything for me. I really don't know how I deserve it. But in that respect, I am still selfish and say that I will never let you go. You stay with me forever, whether you like it or not."

His words were incredibly touching and brought tears to his eyes, but he quickly covered it up and joked, "Okay, I see: I need the PowerPoint presentation so I can show you what you've done to deserve that." They both had to laugh a bit and he let him gently back on the ground as his arms got heavier and heavier. Instead, he put his hands on his cheeks, whereupon he became more serious again. "Seriously, Alex. You've earned the world and much more. And you don't have to worry, I'll never leave you."

"I'm relieved then," he breathed and kissed him again. And even though that kiss was short, it was incredibly emotional. This was and definitely remained the best way to show the love to the other.

When they broke away, they both kept their eyes closed for a moment. "The Feast of Love, huh?" Alex laughed softly and he gave back, "The Feast of Love."

They stood there for a while, until he finally suggested, "Let's have breakfast and then slowly take care of the food for later. We've wasted enough time."

"Oh, man," he murmured instantly. "I thought if I said such sappy words, I could avoid work. But apparently, it was all for nothing."

On command, he began to pout and Alex just pressed an apologetic kiss on his cheek. "I'm just kidding," the older one told him. "I meant every word as I said it. Now let's have breakfast, I'm starving."

With that, he dragged him into the kitchen, and he just smiled to himself. He was right, it would definitely be the best Christmas ever, even if it was stressful to get everything ready.

Around 4pm, their families arrived and immediately it became much louder in his house. In the background, there was quiet Christmas music playing while they traditionally ate turkey, opened Christmas crackers, and just talked. All in all, it was a really nice afternoon and the food they had – although it was not as easy as thought – was also quiet tasty.

The main course was followed by the plum pudding his parents had brought along. It was very British, in turn, everybody said a wish, then they ate it. There was a coin in some portion. Whoever got the coin would have their wish come true. They did just that until it was finally Alex's turn.

The Thai hesitated for a moment before looking at him and smiling, "I am happy with everything right now."

His heart raced as he returned his smile lovingly. Unfortunately, they weren't sitting next to each other, otherwise, he would have kissed him for that. A soft 'Awww' went through the circle, but then Luca criticised, "And what if he gets the coin now?"

"Then I just want everything to stay the way it is," the older brother replied, rolling his eyes with a smile. "Satisfied?"

"Not really." He shrugged his shoulders and Alex grabbed his napkin to throw it at him if Minki had not stepped in.

"Boys, at least leave it for today," she warned the siblings and his boyfriend let go of the napkin again. But the playful grin didn't leave his lips. The rest of the people still expressed their wishes, then they all ate in comfortable silence.

"Ha!" Alex triumphantly raised the coin. "Well, then nothing can happen to all of us now. Oh, man, I should have wished for Luca to finally grow up."

"You really can't help it, can you?" Luca growled offended and crossed his arms in front of his chest, making everyone laugh. They ate, then Alex and him carried the dishes into the kitchen.

"It's really beautiful," Alex remarked, and he looked up at him. While he put things in the dishwasher, he had sat down on the countertop. Smiling, he nodded and cleaned up the things. "You're so quiet all night, is everything okay?" Alex finally asked anxiously.

"It's never been better," he answered and stood up to stand between his legs. He placed his hands next to him, while he put his around his neck. "I'm just enjoying it."

For a short time, it was quiet between them, until a loud laugh sounded out of the living room, which today also served as a dining room because there was more space. When they Heard- their families laughing, they both had to smile. "It's nice that our families get along so well," he remarked and Alex nodded in agreement.

Again they didn't say anything for a while, but this time it was him who interrupted the silence, "By the way, I still have a present for you."

Smiling, he shook his head a bit. Actually, they had agreed that they wouldn't gift each other anything, but he was already aware that Alex couldn't keep that deal, it just wasn't Alex's way so he had arranged something for him as well.

"Be glad I have something small for you too," he remarked.

"So you're no better than me," he laughed and kissed his forehead, before putting one hand into his pocket. A small box came to light that only made him more sceptical.

"A proposal? Now?" He teased him and he rolled his eyes with a grin.

"That's not a proposal, idiot." Smiling, Alex gave him the box. "Well, open it."

Curious, he opened it and smiled when he discovered the bracelet in it. He gently took it out before putting the box aside. It was kept plain silver and had a small metal pendant. On one side of it were their initials, on the other the date on which they finally got together.

"That's really nice, Alex," he smiled happily and kissed him briefly.

"I thought that our friendship bracelet you gave me for my birthday should be renewed sometime," he explained embarrassingly. "I'm glad you like it."

Invitingly, he held his wrist out to him and immediately he put it on. Then he asked curiously, "And what do you have for me?"

"I have booked a two-week holiday in Thailand for the end of January." After he had said those words, Alex's jaw literally dropped.

"You have what?!" he exclaimed in shock. "George, you-"

"Please let me finish," he interrupted him unsurely. "You've told me so much about Thailand, but we've never been there together, so we'll catch up in January. You were always so melancholy when you talked about it, and I wanted to make you happy. Besides, your father's there. I've only seen him a few times, and I'm sure you miss him too. If you think it's stupid, I can still cancel it."

"No!" He said at once in a firm voice and shook his head decisively. "No, you certainly won't cancel it! We're going to Thailand!" Now his eyes began to shine and he brought him closer by his neck. "You are truly the best boyfriend in the world. I can't wait to introduce you to my father properly. I love you so much, Georgie."

Relieved that he liked his present, he beamed up at him. "I love you just as much, Alex."

They fell into a loving kiss and he couldn't be happier. The best thing about the whole situation was that it was just the beginning. Alex and him still had so much to experience together and he was looking forward to that time with him.

Chapter Text

Woking, December 31st, 2019

In a good mood, he knocked on Lando’s door before stepping back and putting his arm around Alex’s shoulder. His boyfriend briefly kissed him on the cheek. “It’s going to be a nice evening," he remarked, placing a hand on his stomach. “Even if the others don’t know about us."

“At first, it's only the four of us," he gently returned. “But yes, it will certainly be nice later, too.“

Now the door was finally opened and Lando stood in front of them, grinning wide. “There you are! Punctuality is not your thing, eh?" The younger criticised.

“Ten minutes," Alex answered dryly and he had to smile a little. “We’re ten minutes late because George couldn’t decide what to wear."

The McLaren driver stared at him sceptically before he muttered, “No matter what the other choices were, they would have been better."

“Asshole," he laughed, pulling his arm away from Alex’s shoulder to give the Briton a slight push. “You simply cannot be nice to me even on New Year’s Eve, can you?”

“Not really, no," the younger one giggled and stepped aside. “Come on in, Carlos is in the kitchen."

Together they entered the house and first took off their jackets, scarves, and hats, then followed Lando into the kitchen, where it smelled very good. The Spaniard was at the stove. When they got into the kitchen, he turned to them, smiling.

“Hey," Carlos greeted them as he moved around flawlessly. “How was your Christmas?”

His boyfriend and he exchanged a happy look before he answered, “Very nice. We celebrated with our families and it was just beautiful. They got along so well."

“That’s good to hear," he remarked.

“How was yours?” Alex asked and sat down on a chair on the work surface. While Carlos traditionally spent the 24th with his family in Spain, Lando had stayed in England to celebrate on 25th with his own family. After that, he had also flown to Spain to spend at least a few more days with Carlos and his family. Yesterday morning, they finally came back to start preparing for the party.

“Very nice, too," Lando nodded happily. “But I don’t think I’ve ever eaten so much. Jon would kill me if he knew."

“It was Christmas, Jon certainly ate a lot of food himself," Alex cheered him up, but Lando just groaned in torment, “Not at all! He kept telling me to do enough sports and I didn’t do anything!”

“That sounds familiar to me," he commented with a side view on the Thai Briton, who only showed him his middle finger. Alex had not only avoided working out for the past week, but he even preferred to stay in bed or cuddle on the sofa, where he stayed until he went to see him. He really tried to stick to his training plan, but this man was just irresistible. That pleading smile that always formed on Alex's lips whenever he walked past him, the oversize sweater that he always stole from his closet, and just...everything about him was so incredibly cute. How could he not give in to him? Especially because he thought it was better himself. Who didn't prefer cuddling with the partner over exercising? Right, nobody.

The four of them prepared the meal, which Carlos had already started and what would be there in addition to the raclette. They had left Lando out though because they wanted to finally be able to call it ’food'.

Around seven, the first guests came, which were Callum and Marcus, whom they also knew from karting times. It was not long before the house was full and they began to eat. Afterwards, they went into the living room, where Nicky came up with the glorious idea to play 'Never Have I Ever'.

At the first things said, many had to drink, so most of them had already been drinking well when the more interesting questions came up. Unfortunately, that included Alex and him. He was drunk fast anyway, but at least he wasn’t drinking without having eaten anything before. So he was just feeling a little dizzy, but he could still think clearly. He guessed Alex felt the same way. His boyfriend sat obliquely across from him and kept throwing suffering glances at him when he had to drink another shot, which made him giggle.

“Never have I ever moaned a wrong name during sex," Lando grinned and leaned back relaxedly.

“As you should, you’ve never had sex before," Robert teased him, to which they all laughed. Even Carlos could not resist a broad grin and pressed a kiss on the temple of his pouting boyfriend.

“That’s not true!” He complained loudly at once. “Of course, I’ve already had sex."

“Okay, but then only with one person. Whom else should you be thinking of besides Carlos?” Lando’s former F2 team-mate Sérgio added while drinking a shot.

“Yes, and I’m proud of it," the Briton snorted offended, and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

When everyone had finished drinking, Mick said, “Never have I ever made out with another driver.“ He grinned at Lando, who only filled his shot glass, annoyed, and did the same with Carlos' glass so that the two could drink.

Reluctantly, Alex reached for the alcohol to take a sip, while he looked at him shyly. Meanwhile, he was frozen by that statement. On the one hand, he didn’t want to drink, because that would betray him and the others would ask questions, but on the other hand, it wasn’t the point of the game to lie. It would be different if no one knew he was lying, but Carlos, Lando, and Alex knew. They wouldn’t judge him for it, but it still felt wrong.

Alex could drink without ulterior motives, that was clear. After all, Jack didn’t really want to keep their relationship a secret, so most Formula 2 drivers knew about it. Accordingly, it was no surprise to them when he drank, unlike him, but he really couldn’t lie, could he?

Uncertain, he reached for his glass and tipped down the remaining sip of the tequila. Immediately, he felt all eyes on him, which is why he bit his lips uncomfortably.

“Aha?” Nicky remarked with interest and wiggled his eyebrows. “Is there a story behind that?”

Helplessly, he glanced at Alex, then Lando and Carlos, who seemed genuinely surprised that he had actually taken a shot. Lando was the first one to come to his help. Playingly guilty, he turned to Carlos and mumbled, “I’m really sorry, Carlos. I wanted to tell you about it, but I didn’t know how."

The confusion was visible on everyone’s face, including his own and Carlos's. What was he doing?

“What are you talking about?” the Spaniard immediately followed and frowned.

“About George and I making out once. But it was only Truth or Dare, and we were drunk. I only love you, pinky promise. Please forgive me for not telling you sooner," the Briton begged and Carlos paused for a moment, didn’t really seem to know what to say. He couldn’t help but smile. Lando’s acting skills were actually good, so he could understand that Carlos didn’t know what was going on at first, too. Of course, Lando only said that to protect him though, because they had never had made out, and they never would, too.

But then, he also felt Alex’s perplexed look on him, burning under his skin, and knew he couldn’t let it stay like that. Not that Alex would start believing him, too.

“Lando," he said quickly, but he interrupted him in a hurry, “No, George. He needs to know the truth, it’s okay."

Stunned, he shook his head and sent a little prayer to the sky before he clarified aloud, “I never made out with Lando, it was with Alex."

Now it became deadly silent and Lando mouthed 'What the fuck?'. Desperately, he shrugged his shoulders before looking at his visibly embarrassed boyfriend. Was he mad at him now?

The eyes of the others slid from him to Alex and finally back to him. “Really?” Nyck ascertained. “Doesn’t it make it weird between you? You guys are best friends."

“Were. We were best friends," Alex improved him before he could say anything, and now he raised his head, so their eyes met.

“Are you no longer? Because you made out once?” Callum gently followed.

“No!” the older man exclaimed in terror and shook his head hastily, then went on more calmly, “No, we are in a relationship now."

Relieved, he took a deep breath and couldn’t deny that his heart was beating up to his throat. Alex gave him a loving smile, which he instantly reciprocated as a soft ’ohhh' went around.

“We knew," Lando then broke the brief silence that had formed. He proudly raised his chin. “Well, not everyone can be as cool as us."

“That’s right because you’re not cool at all. It’s hard to keep up," Marcus teased him and Lando hissed incredulously, “You can all go home if you want to!”

And like that, the evening just went on as usual, with a heavy weight dropping off his shoulders. It was somehow liberating that at least today, they didn’t have to pretend anymore.

At a quarter to midnight, they finally left the house packed with missiles, firecrackers, and drinks. He had just lined up next to Alex and wanted to grab his hand when he suddenly shouted, “Oh wait! I have an idea.“ He quickly put his foot in the front door and then ran back in, leaving him behind, confused.

It must have taken five minutes for him to reappear. He had several markers in his hand, which he proudly presented to the group. “We write all the bad things we’ve experienced this year on the firecrackers and then light them up," he quickly explained. Immediately, he received a consenting murmur, whereupon he distributed the pencils. Then he grabbed a firecracker himself and came back to him.

“That’s a really good idea," he breathed, smiling, and put his right hand on his cheek. Happily, he bandaged their lips into a short kiss, then stepped back.

The older one opened the marker and decidedly wrote something on a firecracker. He immediately walked up to him to see what he had written down.

JACK

Alex lifted his gaze from the firecracker and looked at him instead. Wordlessly, he grabbed his hand, in which he put it.

“I want you to blow it up," he said dead serious, and his eyes widened in surprise.

“What? Why?” He asked quickly.

“Because you protected me from him and were there for me when I felt lost. Because you’re trying everything to make me as happy as possible," Alex explained and slowly came closer to him until there was no space left between them. Lovingly, he wrapped his arms around his neck and whispered to his lips, “And because you’re the one who banished Jack from my thoughts. So it shall be you who banishes him from my life for good."

Speechless, he just looked into his eyes, which radiated such affection that he shuddered. How perfect could a human being be?

Finally, he nodded overwhelmed, Alex kissed him quickly and then dug a lighter out of his jacket pocket. While he was lighting the firecracker, the others around them started counting down from ten.

As soon as the fuse burned, he threw the firecracker as far away as he could. He followed it with his eyes until it finally stopped rolling.

“One!” it sounded from their friends. At the same time, a hand found its way to his cheek, so he turned his head back to Alex, who just happily smiled at him.

In the corner of his eye, he could still see the firecracker exploding, then his boyfriend already pulled him into a tender kiss, which he was only too happy to reciprocate. The commotion around them, when a dozen missiles were blown up and the others fell into each other’s arms, faded completely. All that mattered now was Alex.

He was more than just curious about the ups and downs of the new year, but he was sure of one thing: Alex would be there for him and he would be there for Alex. He would never let him go because he was the love of his life.

And it will always be you, Alexander Albon.