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Chapter Text

“Excuse me - you’re Klaus, right?”

The man that stood on the sidewalk in front of Klaus was lean and handsome, one hand shoved into the pocket of his trench coat, the other stretched forward in greeting. He looked to be in his thirties, and without the slight slouch to his shoulders, he probably matched Klaus’s height. His clean-shaven face was nearly vulnerable in its overt friendliness as his eyes crinkled up with his broad smile.

It was almost enough to make Klaus forget about the dozens of ghosts packed around the stranger.

“That’s me,” Klaus said. “Unless Klaus owes you money, in which case, I do so regret to inform you of his passing not quite three years ago.”

The man laughed. “No, sorry, I should have introduced myself sooner. I’m Alex. I’m a friend of your brother’s.”

Klaus truly wanted to believe the words of this attractive stranger who’d given Klaus no reason to distrust him, but. There were a lot of ghosts.

A lot of them were children.

“Oh, yeah? That’s neat,” Klaus said, barely aware of what he was saying as he scanned his surroundings. The street was nearly empty, and the people who happened to be out were hunched inside their coats as the chill wind whipped at the edges of their clothing. In other words, they weren’t looking at Klaus and his predicament.

Alex sighed. “Well, kind of. I mean -” he winked at Klaus - “you and I both know Five doesn’t have any friends.”

Klaus felt his stomach drop somewhere near his shoes.

Alex’s other hand lifted out of his pocket slightly, revealing a glint of metal. His grin turned sheepish. “Sorry, I was hoping to keep the facade up for at least a little longer, but I hadn’t planned on you being suspicious from the get-go.”

“Oh, no, no worries,” Klaus said, waving a hand through the air. “It was great for the two seconds it lasted.”

Alex laughed in surprise. “Are you sure you’re related to Five? You are so easy to talk to.”

Klaus shrugged. “It’s a gift.”

“Seriously, if that grouchy scarecrow had half your charm, I probably wouldn’t be here right now.” His tone turned regretful. “If only he weren’t such a stubborn, crusty old man. I already had a bone to pick with him before he left the Commission. But then I heard he came back, just to blow the place up? And then wipe out the entire upper management? Not that it really bothers me, to be honest, but that was my job, you know?” He let out an annoyed huff of air. “I haven’t even seen him since he left, and yet he still manages to find a way to screw me over.”

Klaus pretended he was still listening, but his eyes were fixed on the police car that had just turned the corner and come to a stop in front of a deli. Klaus’s gaze flicked back to Alex just as the man shifted his shoulders and let the gun slip completely back into his pocket. “Now,” said Alex, “you’re going to smile like I just said something funny and walk for-”

The police car’s door opened, and Klaus immediately dashed past Alex and toward the cop who stepped out. “Hey!” Klaus screamed, waving his arms over his head. “Help! He’s got a gun!”

The cop swiveled, sharp eyes glancing first at Klaus and then Alex as he unholstered his gun. Klaus stopped but kept his hands up. The cop lifted his weapon marginally and nodded at Alex. “Hands where I can see them,” he barked.

Klaus craned his head backward. Alex didn’t move for a full second, then he smiled indulgently and lifted both hands above his head. 

“It’s in his pocket,” Klaus blurted out.

“Officer,” Alex said, taking a step forward, tugging his glassy-eyed, ghostly entourage with him, “I can explain.”

The cop snorted. “You can explain while you’re up against the side of my car, son.” He looked at Klaus. “Same goes for you.”

Alex inclined his head. “Of course.” He leaned his stomach against the car, his hands splayed out on top. Klaus followed suit, having been through this song and dance once or twice in his lifetime, but he made sure to keep his distance from Alex. 

This should have been good - it was going much better than Klaus had anticipated. The policeman had believed him. There was no opportunity for Alex to grab his gun before the cop had time to shoot his. But if everything was working out the way Klaus wanted it to, why was Alex still smiling?

As the cop began patting Alex down, Alex said, “My wallet is in my breast pocket. If you could pull that out for me, I think it would clear up a few misunderstandings.”

The policeman pulled the wallet out and flipped it open. His eyes widened. “Uh, I’m so sorry, sir,” he said, handing it back and retreating a few steps backward, allowing Alex to push himself off the side of the car. “I didn’t realize -”

As Klaus’s stomach dropped even lower than his shoes, which he hadn’t even thought possible, Alex patted the cop on the arm. “No need to apologize - you were just doing your job. It would’ve been remiss not to treat me like that, given the circumstances.” He jerked his head at Klaus. “This one’s my informant - or, should I say, former informant.” He shook his head in annoyance. “Clearly, he thinks his time would be better spent in prison than giving me the information I need.”

“What?” Klaus said, miles behind the conversation.

The cop grinned. “They just need a good reminder every once in a while, you know?”

Alex spread his hands. “That’s exactly what I was telling him when he decided to run at you!” He gripped Klaus’s arm so hard Klaus winced. “Let’s see if a night in a cell changes your mind.”

“Wait,” Klaus said, panic rising in his chest as he tried to jerk free of Alex’s tight grip. He looked at the cop. “Listen, I don’t know what you saw, but this guy isn’t law enforcement, and I’m not an informant, I swear. My name is -”

Alex rolled his eyes and shoved Klaus forward, not releasing his hold on Klaus’s arm. “Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard this spiel before.” He nodded at the policeman. “Sorry to interrupt your lunch, officer.”

The cop waved a hand dismissively. “Eh, it gave me something to tell my wife tonight.”

Alex leaned close to Klaus’s ear. “Be a good little boy from now on, Klaus. Otherwise, I’ll have to undo all the work I just did and kill that nice policeman. You wouldn’t want that blood on your hands, right?”

Klaus remembered the blood of a nice detective that already was on his hands and swallowed. He heard the door to the diner swing open with the tinkle of a bell. “What do you want?”

Alex sounded surprised. “It wasn’t obvious? I want to utterly annihilate Number Five.”

Alex’s house was a typical suburban home with a white-washed exterior and pleasant, homey interior. Very cool, very non-time-traveling-assassin vibes. Klaus had been dragged to the center of what he guessed was the living room based on the plush furniture occupying it. Alex stood in front of him, his arms folded over his chest.

“So,” Klaus said finally, trying hard to look at anything other than the ghost children, “neat house. Can I get a tour?”

Alex grinned. “I love that you asked, but no, we should probably get started.”

“Man, this is so unfair,” Klaus complained. “I’ve made enough mistakes in my life to kill me, but what ends up doing me in is Five’s attitude.”

“Whoa, whoa, who said anything about killing you?” Alex said. Behind him, a little girl with pigtails and a faded floral sundress doodled something on the wall with her finger. “Well, to be fair, I probably was going to until about twenty minutes ago. You’re too likeable to kill.”

Klaus brightened. “Hey, that’s great news!”

“Besides,” Alex said, shrugging, “I don’t have to kill you for Five to get the message.” He reeled his fist back and punched Klaus in the face.

Klaus’s head snapped back. He couldn’t even tell where exactly he’d been hit - his face was too busy throbbing in pain to provide details. “That was uncalled for,” Klaus said, somewhat nasally.

Alex looked amused. “I think this is going to be more fun than I anticipated.”

Klaus opened his mouth to say something probably hilarious, but a fist to his gut doubled him over and ripped the air from his lungs. 

“Just endure it a little longer, okay?” Alex’s voice whispered too close to his ear.

Hours or maybe minutes later, Klaus couldn’t be sure, he was on the floor, curled up in a ball as Alex savagely kicked him for the third? fourth? time. A little longer, Klaus repeated to himself, unsure of who exactly had said that and when. He might have hit his head on his way to the ground. He couldn’t remember.

Alex’s shoe was yanked away from Klaus’s abdomen, and Klaus winced, curling in on himself even more as he waited for the foot to return. Then Alex’s face loomed into view. “Do you want to leave?”

What? “What?”

“Do you. Want. To leave?” The smile never left Alex’s face.

“I’m sure there’s a right answer here,” Klaus said, lifting his head off the floor. He squinted at Alex. “And that answer would beeee . . .?”

Alex shrugged. “I’m just asking a question.”

Klaus hummed, tasting blood.

Well. Here went nothing.

“I think,” he said slowly, “as lovely as your company has been, yes, I would like to leave.”

“Okay!” Alex stuck out a hand, which Klaus tentatively grabbed. He hoisted Klaus to his feet. “It was great having you, Klaus.”

Klaus smiled right back at Alex, which did not hurt his still-aching face. “Best date I’ve been on in a while. Where can I drop a review?”

Alex snorted. “Date? Listen, Klaus, I like you a lot, but -” he dropped a hand on Klaus’s shoulder, and if he noticed Klaus’s hard flinch, he didn’t show it - “you’re a little too old for my taste.”

And now Klaus stood outside the academy, bones aching, wounds stinging, stomach churning, and mind singing exactly one thought:

Five can never find out.

Chapter Text

The lights were all off when Klaus opened the door, which he decided to take as a huge blessing on a not-so-blessed day. He hadn’t come up with a plausible story for the injuries yet, so if Luther or Five had questioned him, he wasn’t totally sure what lie would have tumbled from his mouth. 

He dragged his aching body to his room. His full-length mirror was leaning against the wall, and Klaus knew he should examine his wounds, but whether it was because the mirror looked especially scary with the curtains drawn and the lights off or because of something lingering just beneath his skin that he didn’t want to name, he couldn’t bring himself to stand in front of the glass.

Yeah. Definitely because the mirror looked super creepy in the dark and no other reason, no sirree. The Klaus Mindset had a zero self-examination policy, and he wasn’t about to break that rule now. Besides, he was tired. He could come up with a feasible lie and address his injuries tomorrow.

And when he laid in bed and closed his eyes, he pretended he couldn’t still see the little girl in the floral sundress, idly tracing her finger along his ceiling.

The next morning, Klaus simply didn’t have time to assess the damage to his body. He was a busy guy, and grocery shopping waited for no one. (Luther and Five had collectively decided that would be the one thing Klaus was responsible for in this house, which - house meetings without Klaus? Absolutely devastating.) The fact that he hadn’t actually ever gone shopping for food since being assigned that job three months ago was hardly his fault. And it was just a coincidence that this was the One Day that grocery shopping Had to Be Done. So, really, also not his fault he couldn’t take the time to stand in front of the mirror. 

When he got dressed, he did allow hims- found time to look at his face in the smaller bathroom mirror. A huge, purple bruise shadowed his jawline, but it wasn’t anything a little more makeup than normal couldn’t cover. And with that thought, Klaus realized his brilliant solution - there was no need to come up with a story if no one found out about the injuries in the first place.

Ten minutes later, Klaus strolled into the kitchen with a spring in his step that did not jostle bruised ribs and a smile that did not stretch fragile cheeks. Luther was hunched over a large plate of eggs, shoveling spoonful after spoonful into his mouth without bothering to swallow, and Five was sipping a cup of coffee, ankle resting on the knee of his other leg, a newspaper in his hands. 

Luther looked up at Klaus’s entrance, surprise slapped onto his expressive face. “Wow,” he said through a mouthful of yellow, “you’re up early.” He paused. “-ier than normal.”

“What can I say,” Klaus said, grabbing a bowl and a box of candied cereal. “I’m an enigma.”

Five snorted without looking up from his newspaper. “Last time I checked, ‘enigma’ didn’t classify ‘waking up before noon.’”

“Everyone’s a critic,” Klaus sighed dramatically as he somewhat gingerly took his seat. He hoped neither one of them would notice.

Luther swallowed the rest of the eggs in his mouth. “I didn’t see you come home last night. Did you go somewhere else after the movie?”

Oh, yeah. Klaus had completely forgotten about the movie he’d seen with Vanya. He’d forgotten anything had happened yesterday apart from Alex. “Well,” Klaus said, leaning forward on the table and propping his chin up on his hands, “there was a man sitting in front of us, and we got to talking, and basically he told me that he was having an orgy at his place afterward, and -”

Luther held up a hand, looking as though he regretted putting the next forkful of eggs in his mouth. “Okay. Stop.”

Five, still studying the newspaper, said, “Gross, Klaus.”

Klaus clasped a hand to his heart. “This is why people call you heartless.”

Five turned the page. “Oh, and here I was thinking it was because of the scores of people I’ve murdered.”

“Nope. It’s because of your lack of appreciation of the finer things in life.”

Luther squinted at both of them. “I don’t know which of you sounds more insane.”

Breakfast was, in Klaus’s opinion, a success.

Luckily, neither Luther nor Five exactly excelled at the whole “talking” thing, so it was easy for Klaus to mention grocery shopping (which had made both of them raise their eyebrows, which - rude) and then bounce. At the time, grocery shopping had seemed like the perfect excuse - ahem, legitimate reason - to get out of the house and away from Luther and Five, but now, as he flinched every time someone passed by a little too closely on the sidewalk, he was starting to wonder if that was the best call. He’d been so concerned with getting away from sharp eyes that would eventually see the snaking fractures on his skin that he’d forgotten to consider what awaited him beyond the front door.

But this was fine, because it was a busy day, the streets were crowded, and Klaus was not afraid in the slightest.

At least, he wasn’t until a low voice whispered in his ear, “Mind answering a few questions for me?”

Klaus wished he could say he put up a fight, or at least resisted the firm hand that clapped down on his shoulder, but he didn’t, so he couldn’t.

“Ah,” Alex said, sounding pleased. “You’re learning.”

Klaus allowed himself to be steered toward a familiar car, averting his gaze from a translucent little boy whose blank eyes stared straight through him from the backseat. He didn’t entirely remember getting in the car, or the drive itself, but he snapped back to reality when they entered Alex’s house. “Here again?” Klaus said, hoping the dryness of his throat didn’t sound as apparent to Alex as it did to him. “Not very original.”

Alex motioned at the couch. After a moment of hesitation, Klaus sat on it. “Listen, Klaus,” Alex began, pacing in front of the couch. “I thought we had come to a mutually beneficial agreement last time. I let you live; you tell on me.” He stopped and spread his hands. “And yet, to my surprise, I received no visitors last night, let alone a decrepit former Commission agent!”

“Um?” Klaus offered.

“How much more obvious do I have to be?” Alex said, resuming his pacing. “I took you to my house, so you knew exactly where I lived. I told you my name, which I know he’d recognize. Letting you go was supposed to be easier than killing you.”

Klaus realized he was drumming his fingers against his leg - a habit he couldn’t control when he was anxious. “I’m not sure I follow you.”

Alex sighed, exasperated. “You were supposed to tell Five about me. I had everything set up last night for when he got here, but he never came. So either he doesn’t care about you like I thought he did, or -” Alex suddenly leaned forward, his nose inches away from Klaus’s. “You never told him.”

“No, no,” Klaus said airily. “You got it right the first time. I’m definitely his least favorite sibling. Including the dead one.”

Alex grinned. “I somehow doubt that. The question is - why wouldn’t you tell him?”

“Maybe you’re not as scary as you think you are,” Klaus said as one of the ghost children flinched away from Alex’s shadow.

Alex threw back his head and laughed. “You’re too funny! No - I wonder if it isn’t because you’re ashamed.”

Klaus recoiled. “I’m not.”

Alex pretended to examine his fingernails. “I didn’t care enough to finish reading any of your guys’ files, but aren’t all of Five’s siblings supposed to have superpowers? Where are yours?”

“You’re not worth them,” Klaus lied.

Alex’s smile was pitying. “Sure I’m not.” Then he sighed. “Maybe this is my fault. I should have dropped your body on his doorstep and started working on one of the other siblings. I guess I still could. What’s the name of the one with the knives?”

Cold fear and blazing anger flooded Klaus’s bloodstream. “You know, you talk big for someone too afraid to meet Five anywhere other than your home turf.” 

Alex’s eye twitched. “What?”

Klaus shrugged, acting flippant. “I mean, you obviously know where he lives. And you’ve followed me around the last two days, so you could probably do the same to him. But you’re too scared to. You want revenge, but you only think it will happen here, where you have the advantage.”

Alex said nothing for several long seconds. 

Alex’s silence confirmed what Klaus already suspected - Alex hadn’t seen Five since the last time they worked together.

Alex didn’t know what Five looked like now.

Klaus was going to do his best to keep it that way.

Finally, Alex smiled, although it was darker than the normal grins he flashed at Klaus. “I think I found the solution to my problem."

Chapter Text

Alex had delivered what he promised - there was no way Klaus could hide his injuries this time. His right eye was swollen to the point he couldn’t even see out of it, and the finger-shaped bruises encircling his throat were unlikely to be missed by anyone with a working pair of eyes. He didn’t think his arm was broken, but he couldn’t bend it all the way, which he couldn’t imagine boded well.

The missing pinky finger on his left hand didn’t exactly scream “okay,” either.

But all of this proved what Klaus already knew to be true - Alex was scared of Five. At least, to some degree he was, because he knew where to find Five, and yet he insisted on playing this ridiculous game. (One Klaus wasn’t incredibly fond of.)

No chance Five wouldn’t notice Klaus had been quite literally beaten to unconsciousness. Obvious solution: Klaus would simply never go home. If he stayed away from the academy, Five would never see him, and everything would be completely and totally fine. He had enough cash on his person to crash in a motel room for a couple of nights. When he ran out, he’d have to get creative, but who was Klaus Hargreeves if not creative? 

For a moment, he’d considered coming clean to Five and Luther. As he’d stumbled down the sidewalk, looking drunk and feeling worse, he’d thought about turning back to the academy. He almost had. What were the odds Five couldn’t take Alex?

But - Alex had clearly worked with Five at the Commission. What he knew about Five was enough to instill a healthy fear of the former agent in him, which begged the question - why was Alex so adamant that Five come to him? Nobody would ever antagonize a skilled assassin they weren’t sure they could beat. Alex believed he had a very real chance of beating Five under the right circumstances - therefore, it was Klaus’s job to ensure those circumstances never manifested. Alex wanted Klaus to tell Five where he was. Well, Klaus couldn’t do that if he never interacted with Five, right?

Klaus also did not want Alex to lay eyes on Five literally ever, so his plan seemed like a win-win. A win-win-win, in fact, because Klaus would additionally never have to explain why he was weak enough to let this happen to himself.

It was a good plan. A great plan, in fact. 

Or, it was until a day later, when Five blinked into his room. “What,” he said, “have you been doing?”

Klaus, not for the first time in his life, was thankful for the poor lighting of motels as he immediately spun to face the wall as though he’d just noticed something interesting in the paint. He fiercely hoped the bruises on his throat had faded enough not to be noticeable. “I wouldn’t want to corrupt your virgin ears, young man.”

“Klaus.”

“Ah, well, if you insist - I was invited here by quite the beautiful -”

Five blinked directly in front of Klaus, his sharp eyes raking Klaus’s form in a way that made him feel exposed. Klaus tried to shrink back, but Five caught hold of Klaus’s wrist and forcibly pulled it toward him while simultaneously pushing back the sleeve. Klaus was unable to keep the hiss from sliding through his teeth. The purple bruises looked especially dark on his pale skin, and the bandages he’d wrapped around the stump of his former finger were soaked through with blood.

Five’s voice was low. “Did you think I was an idiot?”

Klaus nearly flinched. Before he could even open his mouth, Five continued in that same quiet tone. “Because you must have to think I wouldn’t eventually find out about this.” His fingers tightened around Klaus’s injured wrist, and Klaus couldn’t stop himself from yelping in pain.

Five didn’t let go. “Well? Am I an idiot?”

Klaus swallowed thickly. His heartbeat pounded out an uneven rhythm in his throat. “Hey,” he said, trying so very hard to make his voice light, to make whatever next came out of his mouth convince Five to drop this, “since when did Diego have a monopoly on fighting crime at night? Maybe I wanted a taste of the leather vigilante lifestyle.”

“Are you being threatened?”

“Remember that one time when you were mad at Dad and you convinced all of us to skip our trai-”

“Where are they?”

Klaus’s smile felt stale. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Five, still clutching Klaus’s wrist in a death grip, leaned in until he was inches away from Klaus’s face. “Do they scare you more than I do?” Five’s smile was barbed wire and jagged glass, and Klaus, for the first time, was afraid of his brother. 

“I want to utterly annihilate Number Five.”

Klaus said nothing.

Five studied him for several seconds before pulling back and releasing Klaus’s wrist, which Klaus instinctively drew back toward his chest. Five straightened the cuffs of his sleeves. “Okay,” he said.

Klaus blinked. “That’s it?”

Five shrugged. “I already figured out who it is.”

Klaus’s stomach dropped to his feet. Five was the one person who couldn’t find out. If Klaus had been more cautious, if he’d avoided Five more - “How?”

Five’s smile was all teeth and no humor. “Your face. Just now.”

Klaus buried his stupid, expressive face in his hands.

“There are very few people in the world scarier than me. And guess who hired all of them?”

“You can’t go after him.”

Five’s not-smile widened. “‘Him,’ huh? The list grows shorter.”

Klaus very desperately needed to stop talking, but it was clearly only a matter of time before Five figured out who it was. “Five, you can’t. It’s what he wants. He was just using me to get to you.”

Five tipped his head back, pondering at the ceiling. “A male Commission agent who’s scarier than me and hates my guts.” His eyebrows drew together. “Hm. That actually didn’t narrow it down any further.”

“Stop!”

Five looked at him with narrowed eyes. “You’re that sure I’m going to lose?” His tone was incredulous.

“He doesn’t want to kill you, Five. He’s obsessed with destroying you.”

Five stepped forward, tilting his head to meet Klaus’s gaze. “And what happens if I do nothing, Klaus? How long do you think it’ll be before he kills you?”

Klaus had nothing to say to that.

“That’s what I thought. Now, are you going to tell me where to find him, or am I going to have to pay a visit to my former employer and crack a few skulls?” Five’s grin was positively shark-like. “Metaphorically, of course.”

Okay, all right, this was spiraling out of control faster than Klaus’s drug-induced hallucinations, but really, what had he expected? The whole point of him hiding out in the motel was to keep Five from finding out about Alex - you know, Five, the teleporting sibling with a negative sense of social boundaries. “Fine,” Klaus said slowly. “I’ll tell you, but you have to take me with you.”

“No. You’re a liability.”

“Come ooon, we could be a crime-fighting duo!” Truthfully, he’d love to never have to see Alex again, but there was no way he could let Five do this on his own.

“I won’t be fighting crime, Klaus,” Five said flatly. “I’ll be committing a crime.”

Ah. Poor choice of words. That was on Klaus. “Er, crime-creating duo?”

Five’s eyes glinted. “You’re not going to want to be there when I get my hands on him.”

“I’ll stay out of the way, I promise. I want to be there just . . . just in case.”

Five raised an eyebrow. “In case I lose?”

Klaus remembered the little girl in the floral sundress and could only shrug.

Five seemed to ponder this. “Fine. You can come if you agree to stay out of my way. Where is he?”

Klaus wagged a finger at Five. “Ah ah ah, my little friend. We’ll take the van, and I’ll give you directions on the way. Don’t want you teleporting there without me.”

Five scowled. “I drive.” He spun on his heel and began heading toward the van.

Klaus blew a kiss at his retreating form, trying to ignore the queasy dread in his gut. “It legally can’t be any other way.”

Chapter Text

Klaus had never been a fan of silences, and Five was The Worst at Talking, so it was up to Klaus to fill the car with noise, especially when he needed a distraction from his stomach twisting itself in knots. “Is it in the job description to be a psychopath? Because I feel like most Commission agents I’ve met have been psychopaths. Except for Herb. Left here. He seems nice, but also, how nice can you really be when you work there, you know? Other than you, of course, because, as we all know, you’re a rosy bucket of sunshine. Take a right at the light.” Klaus drummed his fingers on the door handle, but stopped when his arm twinged in pain. “I think it’s weird you haven’t asked me for a name.”

“Don’t need one to kill him.” 

“It’s Alex.”

Five’s posture didn’t change, but something flickered in his expression for just a second. 

Klaus leaned forward. “Why does he hate you?”

Five didn’t answer for a moment. Then: “The same reason everyone hates me. I killed someone.”

Klaus waited for additional details, and when it became clear none were forthcoming, he said, “Who?”

“Does it matter?” Five snapped. “She’s dead. End of story.”

As antsy as Klaus was, he decided to stop pushing.

By the time Five pulled up to the house, Klaus had considered giving him wrong directions twelve different times. Each time he decided against it because, like Five said, Five wasn’t an idiot. If Klaus didn’t tell him, he’d figure it out some other way and face Alex alone. At least this way, he had Klaus - for all the comfort that probably brought him.

“This house?” Five said, putting the car in park.

Klaus nodded, unable to tear his eyes away from the front door. 

“Excellent,” Five said, then disappeared in a flash of blue.

Klaus cursed under his breath and stumbled out of the van as quickly as he could. He ran to the front door and flung it open, unsurprised to find it unlocked. Alex probably didn’t have much to fear - and one of the only things he should have was already standing in his living room.

“ - hasn’t it?” Klaus caught the tail end of Five’s sentence as he burst through the door.

Alex was staring at Five, total rapture on his face, but he looked at Klaus as he entered. “Ah, Klaus!” he said brightly. “Good to see you again.”

“Hey, now,” Five said in a sing-song voice, “eyes on me, okay?”

Alex easily obliged, his eager gaze sliding back to Five. “Not my type, anyhow,” he told Five. “But you - you’re pretty enough to eat.”

Five leaned forward, teeth bared in what a blind person might have called a smile. “Why don’t you come closer so I can give you a taste?”

“Ohoho!” Alex tittered. “Don’t tease me like that, Number Five. You know -” his eyes scanned Five’s body in a way that nearly made Klaus ill - “I originally wanted to make you wish you were dead, but seeing what you look like now, I think I want to hear you beg for death.”

“Wait a second,” Five said, cocking his head in mock confusion. “That’s my line.”

Alex laughed. “Appearances can be so deceiving - I almost forgot how much I hated you.”

“I never liked you, Alex,” Five said, idly examining the knife in his hand that Klaus could have sworn wasn’t there a second ago. “But you could have lived if you’d done anything else.”

Alex’s eyes were bright with curiosity. “What did I do?”

“You went after my family.” Five blinked directly behind Alex and stabbed his knife into the man’s side.

Or, rather, tried to. When the knife should have met flesh, it instead halted so abruptly that Five’s hand slipped off the handle and slid across the blade. Five hissed through his teeth and yanked his bloody hand back, the knife dropping to the floor.

Alex spoke as though nothing had happened. “But I had to go after them to get your attention. It was the only way you’d care.” He twisted his head to look Five in the eyes. “It was the only way I could think of to hurt you.”

Five blinked to Klaus’s side, clutching his injured hand with the other. “Um, what was that?” Klaus asked.

Five frowned. “I don’t know. It’s like there’s some kind of force field covering his skin.”

Alex grinned at Five as he scooped the knife up off the ground. “New Commission tech. Got it a few years after you left. Before you destroyed the place. Pretty nifty, right?”

“How do we kill someone wearing indestructible, invisible armor?” Klaus whispered.

“I’ve got a few ideas,” Five said almost flippantly. “You should leave, though.”

“Maybe I will,” Klaus said, fully aware of how useless he was in this fight and fully aware he wasn’t going anywhere. He could never forgive himself if he left Five alone with a man who looked at Five the way Alex had. 

Five shrugged when Klaus made no move to exit. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He blinked in front of Alex, hands tucked into his pockets, the total picture of arrogance.

Alex laughed. “You can’t touch me, Number Five, but I love that you think you can try.” He leaned forward, viciousness brightening his eyes as he whispered, “I might let you if you ask nicely.” Then he lunged, the blood-smeared knife flashing in front of him.

Five blinked, but not where Klaus expected him to. He appeared right next to Alex, by the arm that wasn’t holding the knife, and casually grabbed the forefinger of Alex’s hand to twist it backward.

The snap of Alex’s broken bone barely had time to register in Klaus’s ears before Alex used his forward momentum to swing his blade to the side, neatly opening up the skin on Five’s arm. Five blinked back a few steps, seemingly unfazed by the bloodied tear in his sleeve.

Alex brought his wrongly-bent finger in front of his face and winced. “That wasn’t very nice,” he said, and while his tone was playful, Klaus could see the wary nervousness on his face. His armor was supposed to make him untouchable.

Five grinned lopsidedly. “Well, I can’t just kill you. How else would you learn your lesson?”

Alex barked out a laugh that sounded less than pleased. “Geez, you’re a real piece of work.” He dropped the knife and pulled a gun from his belt. 

Five might as well have said the words “tut-tut” when he shook his head. “When has you pulling a gun on me ever worked?”

Alex grinned, and his gaze shifted ever so slightly to Klaus, and then -

And then Five was gripping the arm holding the gun.

Klaus blinked. Had Five teleported? He didn’t remember seeing blue, or hearing that familiar whoosh sound. He must have, though, because now Five was standing next to Alex, breathing hard, a feral slant to his mouth as he sharply lifted one knee upward at the same time he forced Alex’s arm down.

Snap.

The gun clattered to the floor as Alex screeched in pain, and Klaus had to swallow hard. Elbows weren’t supposed to bend in that direction.

Five’s foot slammed into the side of Alex’s knee with a loud crack, so Alex was half-kneeling on the floor, choking on panicked breaths. His one working arm lashed out, striking Five in the jaw, but Five’s only reaction was to latch onto his wrist. 

Snap.

Alex howled.

“I should’ve done this years ago,” Five spat as he grabbed Alex’s thumb.

Snap.

“But you didn’t.” Alex’s voice was hoarse, and he spoke between gasping pants. “I never understood that. Why you killed her and not me.”

“Shut up!”

Snap.

Alex attempted to lurch to his feet, but Five lifted his foot up and brought it down hard on Alex’s ankle.

Snap.

“Stop!” Alex screamed. He was on his belly now, trying to writhe forward as his swollen, twisted fingers scrabbled uselessly at the floorboards. “Please, stop!”

Five’s teeth were bared as he raised his foot again.

Snap.

“Five,” Klaus said. He wasn’t even sure his voice could be heard over Alex’s screeches.

Snap.

Klaus’s stomach churned, and he had to force his gaze toward something, anything, that would distract him from the crunching noise.

The little girl in the floral sundress was standing next to Alex. In fact, all of the ghosts in the room were gathered around the broken man on the floor, silent and watchful.

Snap.

Then Klaus realized she wasn’t staring at Alex - she was looking at Five.

Snap.

The sound that left her throat fell somewhere between a whimper and a moan.

Snap.

Alex stopped screaming.

Klaus finally sneaked a glance toward his brother. Alex was lying facedown on the floor, his neck twisted at an awkward angle. Five stood staring at the body, his face slack.

With a sigh, the ghost-children faded out of existence.

“I told you,” Five said. His voice, quiet and raw, sounded too loud in the abrupt silence.

The little girl remained, tears leaking from the corners of her eyes.

“What?” Klaus croaked.

“I told you you wouldn’t want to be here.” Five finally lifted his gaze from Alex to look at Klaus. 

Klaus wasn’t sure what he’d expected to see in Five’s face, but dull resignation was not it.

“I,” said Five slowly, carefully, “am not a good person, Klaus.”

Klaus attempted a lopsided grin. “Who isn’t?” When Five didn’t respond, Klaus, desperate, aching to fill the room with noise so he could get the snap of splintered bones out of his head, said, “He was - he was very bad. What you did was . . .” good felt silly, childish to say in the presence of a grotesquely twisted corpse, but necessary felt even worse, like throwing a handkerchief on an amputated limb in order to hide the blood.

Five’s eyes were hard and bright with knowing. “The word you’re looking for is brutal.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Klaus saw the girl fold in two, her knees connecting with the floor as sobs wracked her body.

Klaus chewed on his bottom lip. “Creative. I was going to say creative.”

Five snorted humorlessly, looking back at Alex. Where Klaus couldn’t keep his gaze farther from the body, Five’s seemed to be pulled toward it like a compass pointing north.

“We were sent on a mission together,” Five said, still staring at Alex. Him offering up information about his past unbidden was a rare enough occurrence to make Klaus almost forget about the unceasing snap snap snap pervading the room. “We had separate targets, but they existed close enough in the timeline that it was cheaper to send us together. Mine was a janitor. His was a five year-old girl.”

Klaus suddenly, feverishly, decided he didn’t want to hear anymore. As nosy and curious as he was by nature, some secrets could stay secrets until they aged and withered into timeless dust with him none the wiser and all the better for it.

But Five was looking at him in earnest, now, in a way Klaus hadn’t previously thought possible for Five, and Klaus couldn’t summon the words, Don’t tell me, please, past his dry throat, pinned as he was by that stare.

“I knew what he was like. I knew what he did.” Five’s words were measured and calm and everything else that Klaus was not in this moment. If Five talked too fast, maybe Klaus’s brain wouldn’t be able to register the weight behind what he was saying, but Five was making sure Klaus could keep up, making sure that Klaus could not plead ignorance afterward. “I knew where his target lived.”

The girl’s sobs were keening, piercing, impossible to ignore.

Barely able to summon enough breath to utter the words, Klaus said, “So you stopped him, right?”

Klaus hoped with a thorny desperation that coiled and twisted and tightened around his ribcage that his brother would take the hint and lie.

“I found her first,” Five said as though Klaus had not spoken, as though Klaus’s silent pleas meant nothing. “So I killed her. Before he could get to her.”

Klaus squeezed his eyes shut. Snap snap snap. “Why,” he breathed, “are you telling me this?”

“Because I need you to understand who I am.”

Five’s tone seemed almost indifferent, but when Klaus opened his eyes, he saw the subtle, defiant tilt to Five’s chin, the hidden challenge flashing in his gaze.

Klaus was very aware that a misstep here could ripple into an unfathomable chasm he’d eventually be helpless to cross. 

“Killing Alex wasn’t wrong,” Klaus said, unable to pull his eyes away from the crying little girl on the floor. “Killing him in the way you did . . . that might have been wrong. Who am I to say? I wanted the guy dead, too.” Five would not accept a lie, and he most definitely would not accept sugar-coating of any kind. “Killing her was wrong, though.”

Five said nothing.

The little girl’s wails grew louder.

“But . . . you know that already. You know that it was wrong. And I think it’s been eating you alive.”

Five stayed silent, but he didn’t look away, so Klaus took that as a sign to keep going. “Here’s the thing, Five. Nothing you do will make that okay. You can’t just hit the undo button and pretend that it never happened, that you never killed her.

“But here’s the other thing. You’re my brother.” Klaus’s breath hitched in his chest. “And nothing can change that. I still love you.”

Five’s tense, jagged form stained with blood didn’t move. Then, finally, he spoke. “I don’t deserve that.” His face twisted, and he practically spit the next word. “Love.”

“Maybe not,” Klaus said, his gaze sliding back to the ghostly little girl. “But, whether you like it or not, you have it.”

For the first time in what felt like eons, Five looked away from Klaus. “I thought it was justified,” he confessed quietly. “I was . . . it felt like the only possible option, at the time. But it wasn’t. I just wasn’t willing to take the chance.”

The little girl had stopped crying. Now she stared, unblinking, at Five.

“I -” Five’s fist clenched at his side. He was staring very hard at the corner of the wallpapered room. “Regrets are worth nothing. But I wish I hadn’t killed her.”

The little girl tilted her head to the side, as though listening to something Klaus couldn’t hear. Then she nodded resolutely. Quietly, with no preamble, she disappeared.

“Hey,” Klaus said, spreading his arms wide, “you’re talking to the King of Regrets. I know better than anyone that they’re worth nothing.” He offered Five a half-smile. “But they’re all I have, and I’d like to believe that it’s a start.”

Five snorted, his head turning toward the twisted corpse of Alex. “We make quite the pair, don’t we?”

“I say we do,” Klaus said. “And, as the aforementioned king, I also say we call Diego and make him clean up this mess.”

Five’s body seemed to uncoil a fraction of an amount. “That’s the first good idea you’ve had all day.”

“Au contraire, my friend, it’s the only good idea I’ve had all week.”

And Klaus clung to the thought, It’s a start.