Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Ben sits by the front window in his favorite coffee shop, waiting on his order while he texts his mother back. She’s always texting him, calling him, knocking on his front door like he’s some kind of helpless baby that needs her—even though he’s thirty years old. 

Leia: What are you doing today?

Ben: Running errands.

He says this every weekend to prevent her from coming over to visit. A small—very small—part of him feels guilty over the way he lies and deceives his own flesh and blood. This strong Alpha woman gave birth to him and raised him to be a man. His father Han, also an Alpha, was there, but only when he wanted to be. His idea of being a family man was dropping in once a year to give Ben a birthday present and drive his wife crazy for one night before heading off again doing God knows what. 

Ben learned long ago there was no point in begging for Han’s attention. He was never sure, but—his gut told him that maybe his parents hadn’t even wanted to have him in the first place.  There were times when he’d heard his mother tell their cleaning staff just how much of a nuisance having a child was (if I had just spent my heat alone I wouldn’t have to deal with this!). Leia got pregnant with Ben during the first heat she spent with her husband. 

At first it hurt his feelings. Then he realized it was a good thing because it meant they would leave him alone to his own devices—until now.

For some odd reason that Ben has yet to figure out, his mother has decided to smother him with all the love and affection he should have gotten when he was a child. Perhaps he can pin-point it to the return of his father a few years back. Han finally decided after a string of emotionless  dalliances with loose Omegas that he suddenly loved his wife and son. And Ben suspects that his mother, as a result, is trying to glue her broken family back together by smothering her son to death.

It’s not going to happen because Ben is over it and has been for years. Too little too late. If they had given a shit when he was a child it would mean something. Now he thinks they’re just two old people trying to get into heaven.

Well good luck, Ben thinks, scowling at all the happy couples strolling outside past the window. Relationships are a waste of time, only ending in disappointment for everyone involved. Everyone says Alphas can’t live without Omegas. But Ben has—for years. He’s spent every rut alone, and it’s been taxing and lonely at times but he’ll be damned if he’s going to get into a relationship like his parents. Not to mention force all his trauma on some innocent kid. 

His phone vibrates again, making him roll his eyes. 

Leia:  I know you think I’m a fool, Benjamin, but I’m smarter than you think. You can’t have this much to do every weekend. You need to go out and start meeting some Omegas. Surely one of your friends knows someone. Or I could have Poe ask around! Let me call him.

“Shit…” he says, fighting the urge to throw his phone across the cafe. Can’t she just leave that asshole out of it? 

Ben: Mother, my life is none of his business. Just leave him out of it. I don’t need your help or his. I’m perfectly happy being alone. I have to go. I’m busy. 

Leia: Why are you always so hard on Poe? He likes you! He just wants to see you settled down and happy like he is. Don’t you want a nice Omega and pups? Why do you insist on being so stubborn? You’re just like your father!

Ha!

Ben: You’re right. I don’t want a family either. 

Before Leia can answer, he shuts his phone off and puts his head in his hands. Once he gets his coffee he’s getting the hell out of there and going home. He’s not gonna let his Alpha mother make him feel like he can’t enjoy being alone. 

Finally his order is called out, so he stomps past the tables full of college kids working on their papers to grab it. 

He has a whole library of books at home waiting on him.

*****

Hux:  Are you seriously going to just continue to ignore your mother? You realize the more you ignore her, the more she bothers me. It’s torture.

Ben: you’re the one working for her. 

Hux: I can’t quit now. We’re slammed. I’m not going to let your family squabbles get in the way.

Ben: She's throwing Poe on me again. 

Ben can practically see his friend roll his eyes. 

Hux: why do you two have to be enemies? You’re grown men. 

Ben: because he’s a tool. Anyone who actually likes and gets along with my parents is a moron.

Hux: you’re too generous. Dameron is a moron either way. You know what he’s up to this time, right? 

Unfortunately, Ben has an idea. 

Ben: Let me guess. The secretary.

Hux: bingo. 

As far as Alphas go, Poe Dameron is the worst kind: pompous, all-knowing, always strutting like a cock in a hen house. Not only that but he’s handsome and intelligent. And all the girls want him.

But unfortunately he’s already been mated—with a young wife named Kaydel. He’d claimed her right out of high school. She is head over heels in love with him. They have the perfect little brood of five kids—all Alpha boys. Kaydel stays home to be the perfect housewife making everything spotless and oh-so-perfect, waiting at the door with a full face of makeup for him to pull into the driveway. 

Ben wants to vomit every time he thinks about it. Until he remembers what Poe does to his sweet Omega wife. Then Ben feels guilty for hating them. Because Poe cheats on Kaydel practically every week with a different Omega. He’s even mated with one. The little Omega doesn’t live with the Damerons. Ben always thought Kaydel was a weak, pitiful thing; but his respect for her grew when he found out she refused to let her competition live under the same roof. Alphas can mate as many Omegas they want. It’s not only biologically possible—it’s perfectly legal. There’s no such thing as being mated against one’s will. It’s just biology. Alphas have to follow their instincts or they’ll go crazy. 

That’s the excuse anyway. Well Ben doesn’t have a problem with his instincts. He’s not an animal. 

This is one of the many reasons he hates Poe. He acts like a jerk and still gets something Ben desperately—secretly— wants: a family. 

Yes, Ben prefers to be alone—to be able to do what he wants when he wants. And he’s never gonna turn into some dumb, macho, meathead Alpha who sleeps with multiple Omegas behind  his wife’s back. 

But deep down inside, when he’s lying in bed at night right before falling asleep, he dreams of his Omega. He doesn’t want to be like Poe, no. But he would like to get married, have pups, and have an Omega that pleases him. That’s not bad, is it? But he’s put up this front for so long about hating relationships that now it seems like he’s a hypocrite if he wants those things. 

He doesn’t want anyone to laugh at him. Or say “I told you so.” Or even worse: turn into an Alpha like his father or Poe. 

So for now he’s just existing—enjoying his solitude—but open to someone. 

If she ever comes along. 

*****

He wakes to the sound of his phone, which he unfortunately forgot to silence before he went to sleep.

And of course. It’s his favorite person.

“Benjamin, why are you still asleep? It’s nine in the morning. You need to get up and start your day. I didn’t raise you to act like this.”

He sits up and rubs his eyes, leaning up against his bed frame. “What do you want, mother?”

Leia huffs. “I want you to help me with something. It’s very important.”

Ben groans, knowing this will be some stupid corporate dinner where his mother wants to show him off—and set him up with someone. 

“Ask your favorite—Poe.”

“He’s already helping. But I need your help too. I need your strong arms.”

“Why don’t you ask Dad?”

“Because he’s old and his back hurts. Just come to the office tomorrow on your lunch break. It won’t take but a minute to go over the schedule.”

Ben hears footsteps on the other side of the line and braces himself because he knows what’s coming. 

Han grabs the phone from his wife and orders his son: “Kid, your mother needs help. She and I are getting too old to be doing this kind of thing. Just do it.”

He’s not going to get out of this. His dad can make him just as miserable as his mom. 

“Fine but don’t expect much.” He hangs up and tosses his phone to the other side of the bed. 

The next morning he throws his satchel over his shoulder at noon and leaves his job to meet with his mother. 

Ben works in the IT Department for First Order, and as glad as he is to be able to use his degree, he hates it. From the time he clocks in to the moment he leaves, he works on help desk tickets. And it’s enough to make his head explode. 

It’s so monotonous. And people are so endlessly stupid. If Linda in accounting asks him how to convert a Word doc to a pdf one more time, he swears he’ll quit. 

He’s thankful for a reprieve, but hates that he has to spend it with his mother. 

He steps through the circular doors leading into his mother’s building, where she’s renting a set of offices for her campaign. Leia is running for Governor— again—and needs a place for her kiss-ass staff to work. And her campaign manager is Ben’s best friend, Armitage Hux.

Ben has known Hux since college when they were both political science majors. In his sophomore year Ben later changed his mind and decided to do more with computers. No way was he going to live in his mother’s shadow. Hux thrived on it, but thankfully didn’t treat Ben’s mother like she was God (like everyone else did). He just loved doing the work. 

It’s Hux he sees first, riding the elevator.

“Thank God you’re here Solo,” he says, crossing his arms. “Your mother is a handful today. She’s driving us all mad. Please do something with her before I quit.”

Ben smirks. “If only.”

Hux sighs and looks at his Rolex. “Yeah, well. I guess it could be worse. Poe’s out for lunch so we won’t have to deal with him. He’s been insufferable too.” He leans toward Ben with mischief in his eyes. “Leia fired that secretary—turns out even the golden boy can’t be caught sleeping around with staff.”

Ben frowns, not surprised in the least. “Mom cares more about her image than anything.”

“Yes, well…the new girl is supposed to start today.”

“She’s not made it in yet? It’s the middle of the day. Who’s been answering the phones?”

Hux smiles with glee. “Bazine.”

If Ben had been drinking his coffee he would have spit it out. “Bazine? You mean you guys actually let her speak to people? She’s such a…”

“…bitch? Yeah, I know. Alpha women always are, aren’t they? That’s why we have Omega secretaries. They are better suited for it.”

Hux isn’t being a jerk—it’s just the truth. Omega women love to serve. It’s built into their DNA. Nothing wrong with that.

“So Bazine has to train her too? Even I feel sorry for the new girl. Jesus.”

“So do I,” Hux says, as the elevator stops on their floor. “Ah. I think I see the new girl now.”

Ben looks through the glass into the offices and sees two women sitting together behind the front desk. One is Bazine, of course, with a scowl on her face. The other he can’t quite see yet.

Hux opens the door as they step inside, with Ben behind him. 

“How’s it going ladies?”  Hux asks, stopping in front to greet them.

Bazine is smacking a piece of gum in her mouth and glaring at them. “It’s going,” she says. “What are you up to? I see Leia has ordered her little Alpha here for something.”

Normally at a comment like this Ben would just call her a bitch and walk out, turning off his phone and refusing to speak to his mother again. He hates being made fun of by Alphas, especially Alpha women.

But…it all goes over his head as a new scent from behind the desk hits him—the strongest scent he’s ever smelled. It’s like a garden—a beautiful garden of flowers freshly bloomed, blowing in a soft, Spring breeze.

Gardenia.

It’s so overwhelming he can’t speak. And it gets even more pronounced when the source of the smell stands and smiles at him. 

Bazine perks up. “Ugh, right. Sorry I forgot. Ben this is Rey—Rey this is Leia’s son Ben.”

Ben still hasn't gotten used to the fragrant floral smell when this beautiful brunette leaps up from her seat behind the desk and runs around it, slamming into him. Her arms reach all the way around his waist, and she hugs him so hard he can barely breathe.

He keeps his hands in the air, not used to anyone hugging him, let alone a complete stranger.

She pulls back, and he gets a better look. Her eyes are wide and green, her cheeks flushed and pink. There are sweet little dimples there as she grins excitedly at him, showing her gleaming white teeth. Her dress is floral just like her scent—green, bringing out her irises. And there under a wave of curled hair is her gland, pink and raised, peeking out from under the soft material.

Omega.

“Hi Ben! I’m Rey! You’re Leia’s son!”

Ben comes out of his stupor to respond. He can see Hux fighting a laughing fit at the desk with Bazine. 

“Yes, I’m Leia’s son. Nice to meet you.” 

He doesn’t know what to do. He’s kind of freaking out because she’s still got her arms around his waist, bending her neck back to look up at him. It’s hard for Ben to be touched because no one has for such a long time. Because he doesn’t let anyone. His parents never gave him physical affection, and he doesn’t want it either. It makes him angry. 

“You’re very pretty,” she tells him. She uses her finger to trace down the slope of his nose. “Your nose is quite large, but I like it.” Then—Ben cannot believe this is happening—she reaches under his hair and glides her short nails along the outside of his ears. “But I’d like to see your ears.” She frowns. “Why do you hide them?”

“I…I…I just do,” he says stupidly, wondering what the hell is wrong with this girl. But then she smiles again and tugs at his ear a little, her scent wafting up through his nose. And he forgets why he is so annoyed. 

“Rey is our new secretary,” Bazine says, looking exhausted. “Leia was supposed to come out and meet her, but she never did. Typical.” She catches herself. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m not a fan of her either,” Ben says, watching Rey skip happily back to her seat. 

“I’m going to be the new secretary!” Rey announces, stating the obvious. “Bazine is going to train me! She’s an Alpha.”

Yikes. That’s a little much. It’s not really appropriate to be calling out people’s designations in the workplace. And she’s already hugged him. She’s a walking HR nightmare.

Bazine doesn’t seem to care. She keeps popping her gum. “Damn straight,” she tells Rey. And I can kick little Benny’s Alpha ass any day.”

Hux loses it, bending over to laugh. 

“Whatever,” Ben says, then turning to Rey. “You know you really shouldn’t call out people’s designations like this,” he warns the new girl. “It’s inappropriate. And I don’t like being touched either. I think you should apologize.” 

Bazine drops her pen on the desk and rises slowly from her chair. “Ben, you really shouldn’t…”

“Please spare me, Bazine. I know you’re going to say she’s new and doesn’t know any better, but honestly—who comes up and hugs a perfect stranger? It’s totally out of line!”

His voice is growing louder, and Ben knows he’s being a dick, but it’s bad enough to be here dealing with his mother—let alone some weirdo who can’t keep her hands to herself. And making fun of his ears? What an asshole. 

He’s expecting some eye-rolling, sarcastic remark—anything else but what Rey does. 

Her smile evaporates, her scent changing to a dull, dry smell. Her eyes shine. A tear threatens to fall. 

“I’m sorry,” Rey says, looking down as she smoothes the creases of her dress down over her lap. “It won’t happen again.”

Ben swallows and feels like disappearing into the floor at the dejected look on the Omega’s face. 

“It’s okay, dear,” Hux says to her, patting Ben on the back just a little too hard. “No need to apologize. Ben’s just not used to having people touch him because he’s miserable.”

Ben throws Armitage off him and glowers. “I’m not miserable. I’m so sick of people saying that.”

He looks over to the Omega and watches as she chews on her lower lip, her eyes still down. Ben just stares, willing her to look up at him because even though she was inappropriate, he should have never been so demanding. He’s not even her boss. And she’s an Omega, and they do tend to be overly affectionate. 

What is wrong with him? Why does he care this much?

As if possessed, he steps forward and puts his hands on the desk, trying to find the right words. 

“I’m sorry, Rey. I know you were just trying to be nice. Don’t take anything I say seriously. Hux is right. I’m just a miserable person and I’m taking it out on you.” 

Bazine’s jaw drops and Ben knows exactly what she’s thinking: Ben Solo is apologizing for something?

Rey finally looks up and smiles a little, the tiniest hint of dimple forming in her cheek. “That’s okay, Ben.”

Ben takes a deep breath in as her scent stabilizes, the garden growing around him again. 

“Okay, well…yeah…sorry again…Omega.”

Now Bazine’s eyes widen. Shit…he’s broken his own rule. 

“Okay,” Rey says softly. “Okay Alpha.  And…can I tell you something?”

Ben nods, curious to hear what she’ll say.

“You smell like early morning dew on a bright, Spring morning. It’s the most lovely thing I’ve ever smelled.”

Ben gulps, and feels his knot ache at the comment. His breath comes fast, and his feet are itching to go to her. He wants to find out more about his smell…and what she thinks of it. No girl has ever said something so nice to him. He’s not sure how to react. 

Hux whispers in his ear. “Say thank you, you idiot.”

“Right!…right. Thank you Rey.” He tightens his satchel over his chest nervously and strides away before he says anything stupid. 

When they get to the end of the hall, Bazine catches up with them.

“Oh God, what now?” Hux whines. “I’ve got things to do. I don’t have time to chat.”

Bazine crosses her arms and scolds them. “Did you speak to Leia?” she asks them.

They shake their heads.

She sighs. “Okay I’m really not supposed to be saying this, but…there’s a reason why Rey acts the way she does.” She looks back at the desk where Rey is fiddling with the computer and turns back to them. “She’s on the spectrum.”

Crickets.

Bazine clarifies: “She’s autistic. So you need to watch what you say.”

Ben knows this is directed at him, and as bad as he felt before, he feels even worse. He’d yelled at her like she was a child. He was cruel. He almost made her cry. 

He doesn’t really know what to say. He just nods before Bazine walks back to the desk. 

“Well that was unexpected,” Hux says. “You need to work on your attitude Solo. And by the way I don’t think you smell that great. She’s full of it.”

Hux laughs, and right before he follows him into his mother’s office, he looks at Rey one last time. 

She catches his eye and smiles at him, giving him a little wave.

And he, miserable Ben Solo, actually smiles back.

Chapter Text

Ben is still reeling from his encounter with Rey a few days later, when he parks in front of the hotel where his mother is having her charity dinner.

She holds these once a year—usually in December, but this year (surprisingly) Leia announces that it will be moved up because the Solos are going on a Christmas family vacation.

Great. Just what Ben needs—trapped with his family with no escape. 

He’s still sitting in his car, playing games on his phone and hoping his mother will text and say he’s no longer needed. And he wants a moment to prepare himself for who he might see; because usually the office staff sets up the room and attends the dinner. 

And that group always includes his mother’s secretary.

So Ben is anxious to both stay in the car and run inside. His Alpha is beating him over the head.

Go inside. Find her. Claim her before someone else does. 

The last time he saw Rey he was totally out of line. And even though she accepted his apology, he still feels embarrassed of his behavior. Why does he have to be such an asshole? 

So the rational part of him fights his Alpha, telling him that A.: He was a jerk, and Rey does not want to see him again, B.: He doesn’t want to be in a relationship, and C.: Ben knows absolutely nothing about autism and he’s afraid he’ll do or say something stupid. 

Not to mention the fact that Rey works for his mother. That’s a whole other issue.

But Ben is reminded that he is not in control of the situation, as a familiar head of flaming red hair appears at the front of the building.

Hux smiles and waves him inside.

Dammit. He should have left while he still could—feigned a cold or something. 

He hops out, walking up the steep set of concrete stairs. 

“I can’t believe you’re actually on time for a change,” Hux says with a pleased grin. 

“Please tell me I’m no longer needed,” Ben says.

Hux holds the door open for him. “Not a chance. We haven’t set anything up yet and Leia is dead set on having you attend the dinner. Lucky you!”

Ben scowls as he follows Hux inside and waves to the front desk clerk. He’s seen her a million times before. His mother uses this hotel for all of her charity and campaign events. 

The girl is friendly. She always waves, and Ben never thinks anything of it because she’s just doing her job. Hux of course has a different opinion.

“She’s still got a crush on you,” Hux says mischievously.

“No, she’s just doing her job. I’ve told you this a million times. Stop getting so excited. I’m not interested.”

Hux shakes his head. “Her scent always spikes when you come in for these things. I think you should stop being so boring and ask her out. I don’t know why you have to be so difficult. Having an Omega would be good for you.”

The girl has attractive blonde hair curled into ringlets and pink lipstick—pretty, but not good-looking enough to tempt him.  Her scent is floral—like roses—but it smells like cheap dollar store perfume compared to…

“Ahhh, but you’ve got someone else in mind dont you?” Hux asks, and Ben groans. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ben says, trying to put an end to the conversation.

“Oh please. Of course you do. You had goo-goo eyes the minute she said she liked your lovely scent.”

This is the last thing Ben wants—to be transparent. It’s embarrassing and any feelings he has about his interaction with Rey he wants to keep to himself. He’s used to wearing a hard shell to protect all those parts of himself that are vulnerable; because if he’s open about his feelings, this is exactly the kind of reaction he’s going to get—from everyone.

“I did not have goo-goo eyes and mind your own business.”

“Now, now…no reason to be so upset,” Hux says, giving him a friendly pat on the back. “I’m just messing with you.”

“Whatever, let's just get this over with,” Ben grumbles, finally approaching the event room doors. Maybe if he does well enough putting the room together can get out of going to dinner. 

He steps inside the room and sees Leia’s staff bustling about—pulling out the tables and chairs. 

His mother is in a corner of the room talking to the hotel event coordinator when she spots him. She motions him over with her finger like he’s a dog and he obeys—eager to get it all over with.

Leia doesn’t hesitate. “Ben, I need you to pull out the rest of the round tables. There should be four more. Then fetch the table cloths. I think those are steamed and ready. 

“Alright. Anything else?”

Leia looks like she’s about to say something, then changes her mind. “No, that’s it. I hope you brought your tux because a suit and tie is not going to cut it for this one.”

He rolls his eyes because she acts like he hasn’t done this a thousand times before. 

Ben knows exactly where the tables and chairs are, and he’s on his way back to the storage room when he passes what looks like a table moving on it’s own across the hardwood floor. 

Then the smell hits him: Gardenia.

There are two little feet on the other side that have stopped moving.

His pulse races under his skin because only one person here smells like that, and it’s the same one he’s been excited about for days. Ben walks around and sees Rey, holding the table up by herself, but having trouble moving it forward. She’s huffing and puffing, but it won’t budge.

Omega is in distress.

Ben runs up and of course—because he just can’t help himself—he scolds her.

“What are you doing?! You shouldn’t be handling tables like this. They’re too heavy for you. Let me get it.”

He’s holding the table up beside her and looks down to see her gazing at him with soft eyes—like she’s in awe of him. 

“Oh wow! Thank you, Alpha. You’re so nice.”

Ben feels completely out of his element. He never spends time with women his age (by choice), and if he has to, they never call him “nice.” No one does. 

“It’s, um…it’s no big deal,” he stutters out. 

He rolls it forward and pulls the metal legs out, with Rey watching his every move. He likes putting things together in front of her. It satisfies something animalistic inside him—definitely an Alpha thing. 

When he’s done, he rises and almost runs right into her. She’s standing right next to him.

“Ben, do you remember me? I’m Rey. I’m your mother’s secretary!”

Okay Ben, he tells himself—this time you’ll know how to handle this. Don’t be stupid.

“Of course I do. It’s nice to see you again.”

She smiles, linking her hands behind her back. “Did you know this hotel was constructed during the Hoover administration?”

Not exactly the response he was expecting. “No, I guess I didn’t,” he says. As often as Ben has been here, he knows nothing about the building. He’s never cared. But if Rey does, he’ll listen. 

She keeps going. “The exterior is faced in white Georgia marble and the interior follows the popular Art Deco trend. It was built during the Great Depression. It used to be the city post office, but now it’s a hotel. It was converted in the late seventies.”

Frankly Ben is—sort of lost? The last thing he expects is a history lesson. But there’s nothing wrong with that. It makes him feel more at ease. There’s no pressure to talk about himself, which always makes him uncomfortable. 

“Wow, I didn’t know that.” He looks around the room, as if it were the first time. “It’s actually quite beautiful.” It really is. He can see why his mother uses it. 

She follows his eyes to the ceiling, her face blank and uninterested. When his eyes meet hers again she shrugs. “Oh…yes, I suppose it is. I hadn’t noticed.”

Ben is confused, but then realizes her focus is more on the facts than the aesthetics. 

“So who is your favorite president?” he asks, wanting to keep her talking. 

Her eyebrows lift. “Oh, that’s a good question. I guess that would be...William Howard Taft.”

“Why is that?” he asks.

She looks at him like it should be obvious. “Because of his mustache.” 

Ben busts out laughing, and after a bit she chuckles too. 

They stand there awkwardly for a moment, Ben taking in her scent some more. It’s heady and strong. He wonders, inappropriately, if she is on blockers. 

His Alpha likes the idea of an unmedicated Omega. It’s the way it’s supposed to be.

He can’t help but look her up and down, taking in the way her white chiffon dress stops at her knees. Her skin is nice and tan, her hair curled. He can see freckles standing out on her cheeks. She’s very attractive, and even more so because she’s probably unaware of it. He’s not sure what to do. He’s a stuttering fool, trying to come up with something interesting to say. 

Then he doesn’t have to because without warning she wraps her arms around him, just resting her head against his chest. Ben stands there like an idiot, not knowing whether he should return the embrace. He doesn’t know if it’s appropriate.

“I like your scent,” she says, almost to herself. Her voice is matter-of-fact but the vibration is soft and feminine. “It’s nice.”

Ben bends his head down a bit, taking in her smell too—that heady floral scent that transports him—makes him woozy. He gently brings his arms down around her, barely touching her back. If he thought her smell was good before, it’s ten times better now. 

Then he hears chirping and realizes it’s coming from the Omega that is clinging to him like a little monkey. He’s making an Omega happy. He feels like he’s on another planet.

“Stop flirting over there and get back to work lovebirds!”

Oh no.

Ben regrettably breaks from the embrace, praying that the voice calling out doesn’t belong to the person he thinks it does.

Han Solo never did know when to be quiet or mind his own business. And now that he’s back in Ben’s life for good, he’s obsessed with every little thing about him. 

What is he doing here? Ben thinks. Wasn’t he “too old” to be helping out? He never cared about coming to these things before. He never cared about anything to do with his family—only about himself. 

He strides up to Ben and Rey with a knowing smile on his face. 

“I can't believe my eyes. Is my son actually talking to a girl?!” Han asks, a smirk forming on his rugged face. 

“Shut up, Dad.” Ben was never one to mince words around his father. 

“Does Ben not talk to girls?” Rey asks innocently.

“Not unless it’s one of his family members, no. And I’m even more surprised he’s found one so pretty.” 

Han winks at Rey, but she doesn’t smile or laugh. 

“A pretty girl?” She surveys the room curiously. “But who? I don’t see any.”

Of course Leia hasn’t explained Rey’s situation to Han. She’s far too busy with her precious campaign. 

Han chuckles. “And she’s humble too. I like that.”

Rey is still standing before them, confused as ever. “Who is?” she asks, still looking around the room.

“He means you,” Ben explains, his face heating up. 

Rey looks floored. “Oh…okay.”  She addresses Han: “My name is Rey. This is Ben,” she says sweetly. 

Ben cringes and sends out brain waves to his father: please do not be your usual smart-ass self. Watch your mouth. 

“I know,” Han says smoothly. “And I’m his father, Leia’s husband. And you must be Rey, the new secretary. Is that right?”

Rey smiles shyly. “Yes, that’s me. I’m sorry I didn’t know who you were. There are no pictures of you on Leia’s desk and she never talks about you.”

Han guffaws, bending over with his hands on his knees. “Well, that doesn’t surprise me. You got a boyfriend, Rey?” Han pulls Ben into his side roughly. “I think you’re just his type.”

Ben’s heart races because he’s thought about this a lot since he’s met her—whether she’s already dating someone. She beautiful, sweet, and sexy in an irresistibly unassuming way and there’s no way she isn’t dating someone 

Rey giggles. “Oh no, I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Ben breathes a sigh of relief. 

Han replies, finally releasing Ben from his grasp. “Why not? You’re a pretty girl.”

Where most girls would have giggled, blushed, or smiled shyly, Rey stares straight ahead blankly. “Alphas don’t like me. So I’m never going to have a mate. But that’s okay because I have my reborns!” she says with confidence.

“Rey! Go get the centerpieces out of my car!” Leia yells from across the room. She’s sporting her usual grimace, the one she wears when she’s stressed out and ready to rain down her wrath on anyone.

Usually her target is Ben.

Rey smiles, waving at the Solo men. “Leia needs the centerpieces, so I have to go now,” she informs them seriously. “I’ll be back after I get them.”

As she skips away, Ben smiles, watching the way the hem of her skirt bounces around her thighs and little wisps of her hair shift around her sweaty forehead.

“Cute girl,” Han says, staring in her direction. “What the hell are reborns?”

Ben shrugs. “Beats me…”

*****

While Rey is busy fiddling with Leia’s elaborate centerpieces, Ben continues to watch her in his periphery while he helps his mother straighten the tablecloths. 

Leia smoothes out the last few wrinkles on the table before her with her manicured hands and steps back to see if the cloth is falling evenly on all sides.

“Looks good to me,” she says. “I like the brocade. I think we’ll stick with that next year.”

Ben vaguely hears her—more interested in watching Rey light the little votive candies on the table in front of her. There’s a little divot between her eyebrows as she concentrates. It’s really cute. 

“I told Rey not to light those yet. It’s not even close to being time for guests. And she wastes too much time trying to make sure everything is perfect, so nothing is getting done.” She sighs.  “Honestly I think she’s just getting in the way. We don’t have all night to get set up. Maybe I should just tell her to go home.”

Ben turns to his mother, ready to snap. “You mean you, Leia Organa, don’t want everything to be perfect? You have to be kidding me, mother.”

She tries to placate him. “Don’t jump down my throat, Benjamin. I’m not trying to be hateful, but facts are facts. It’s taking far longer than it should to get this room ready. I don’t even think she’ll be with us that long anyway.”

Honestly, neither does Ben. He’s ready to leave as soon as possible.

“Well if she’s leaving for the night, so am I. I’m over it.”

Leia shakes her head impatiently. “That’s not what I’m saying.” She leans in closer so no one can hear. “After her probationary period is over, I think I’m going to let her go.”

Ben thinks about how kind and friendly Rey is—how focused she seems to be—and can’t imagine why his mother would do such a thing.

Unless she’s doing what he thinks she’s doing.

“Are you kidding me, Mom? You can’t just fire her because she’s autistic. That’s fucked up. Not to mention illegal.”

Leia’s eyebrows raise. “Since when have you cared about my job? And I can fire anyone I please. If someone is doing a job improperly, they have to be let go. It’s as simple as that. Don’t you think Rey would want to be treated like everyone else?”

Of course Ben does. If he was Rey, he would want fair and equal treatment—but that’s if she’s actually done a bad job. And he can’t imagine that’s possible.

“I don’t get it,” Ben says. “If that’s the case we need to have a serious talk about Poe because after all the shit he pulls, he should have been fired a long time ago.”

“There’s no need to be so fussy,” Leia says. “She’s still on her two week trial period. I haven’t made any final decisions yet. And as far as Poe Dameron goes—we need him. His behavior is disgusting, I’ll give you that. But he’s very talented. He helped us win the last race and I’m going to need him again. After that, I’ll let him go.”

Ben looks at Rey again, who’s still working on the same table. 

“You better,” Ben warns her.

“I wouldn’t even have to deal with his nonsense if my son would just come work with me,” Leia complains. 

There it is. Ben knew it was coming. Leia is always trying to bring him onto her staff, but he knows what it's all about. She just wants him close so she can smother him, not because she respects what he can do. Help desk tickets suck, but at least he doesn’t have to deal with his mother.

“That’s never going to happen, so just drop it.”

Leia puts her hands on her hips. “Fine. Oh, look!…there he is now.”

She didn’t even need to tell him because Ben would know that scent anywhere. 

And his annoyance with his mother is nothing compared to the fury he feels as he watches Poe Dameron reach up and tuck a piece of hair behind Rey’s ear.

He storms over to them, not sure what exactly he’s going to do or say, but it’s not going to be nice. 

Poe is laughing and Rey is just standing there listening, with her usual soft smile. Her hands tell a different story, though. They’re red, and she’s standing there squeezing them over and over. 

“What are you doing, Dameron?” Ben asks Poe. “Don’t you have something else to do? Like work?”

Poe chuckles, throwing up his hands defensively. “Jesus, Benny, no need to throw a fit. I’m just getting better acquainted with our new secretary. I didn’t get a chance to meet her. Isn’t she great?”

Ben doesn’t know why Poe feels the need to talk about Rey as if she’s not there. He does this to every Omega he meets. 

“Yes, she is, and she’s busy so go find something to do.” He turns his back on Poe and messes around with the votives, hoping this moronic Alpha will take the hint and leave.

But of course—because he’s Poe—he makes it even worse. 

Rey is helping Ben organize the cutlery when Poe tries to get her attention. “You know, sweetie,” he says, “everything looks good to me! In fact, I don’t think any other Omega could have done a better job.”

Ben fumes because he’s talking to Rey like she’s a baby. 

“Thank you,” she says evenly, not even bothering to meet his eyes. Poe looks disgruntled, his smile (which Ben is one-hundred percent sure is fake) fading from his expression. These kinds of compliments work well on Omegas. They love being praised, especially when it comes to making things look nice. 

But Rey is an anomaly, not even giving Poe the time of day: not because she’s not interested or thinks he’s a bad Alpha (which he most definitely is by Ben’s standards), but because she’s too preoccupied with the work in front of her. 

It’s apparent by the frown on Poe’s face that he is not used to being ignored. He expects every Omega to fawn over him, follow him around like a dog in heat. 

Not this one, Ben thinks, amused that Rey is so unaffected. It’s nice to see Poe get knocked down a peg. 

“I think this one is good,” she says, walking around the table to stand next to Ben. “What do you think, Alpha?”

Poe’s expression is furious and Ben smiles triumphantly, feeling smug. He looks down at her, admiring her pretty green eyes and long lashes. Her hair is half-up but looks like it’s about to come down. Her eyeshadow is a bit smudged and her lips are dry. But her scent is pleasant, her voice soft and sweet. And Ben doesn’t think he’s ever seen an Omega so lovely. 

And he likes that she wants his approval. 

“It’s perfect. Let’s go get the chair covers. I’ll show you where they are.”

They leave an unhappy Poe behind them, Ben leading Rey back to the storage room, but Leia stands in their path. 

“Rey, you can go home now. I think we’ve got it covered.”

“What do you mean?” Ben asks, knowing Leia’s secretary always attends the annual dinner. Sure she’d threatened to send her home, but he was hoping she would change her mind. 

“I mean just what I said. You have the night off, honey. Enjoy your evening.”

Ben sees Rey’s face fall a little. “Oh, okay. I have a new dress. I was going to wear it. It’s black and it falls just below my knees. Maz says it’s very appropriate for a charity dinner.”

It’s incredibly awkward. 

For someone who’s always running her mouth, Leia sure is quiet, Ben thinks. He can’t believe his mother is capable of this. He never actually thought she would keep Rey from attending the dinner. Leia is afraid Rey will embarrass her in front of someone important—more concerned about her reputation than her employee’s feelings. And she knows that Rey can’t help it and still doesn’t want her.

Well Ben will be damned if she’ll have him.

He throws up his hands. “Alright, well if you don't need us, we’ll get out of here.”

Leia’s eyes practically pop out of her head. “What do you mean?! You’re not leaving.”

Ben walks up and bends down to her ear so Rey can’t hear. “Unbelievable,” he whispers. 

Leia grabs his sleeve. “Ben, I need you to stay and sit at my table. There are important donors who expect my husband and son to be here to support me. What are they going to say?”

He ignores her and addresses Rey. 

“Do you need a ride home, Rey?”

She doesn’t hesitate. “Yes, Alpha. I would like that very much. Thank you. I’ll see you on Monday, Leia. Ben is going to take me home.”

Ben escorts her out of the event room without giving Leia a chance to respond. 

Once they are seated in the car, Ben asks her if she’s hungry because he can’t fight the instinct. It feels good to take care of an Omega—especially her. He doesn’t want the night to end. When is he going to have this chance again? 

“Yes,” she answers, leaning forward to turn the radio on. 

He asks her where she would like to eat, but she ignores him, asking him something completely out of left field.

“Who is your favorite president, Ben?” 

Ben sighs, knowing this is probably how most conversations with Rey may go, but…he wouldn’t have it any other way. She’s so wonderfully different from any other girl he’s ever met. 

Deep down inside that little part of him that secretly longs for his own family is jumping for joy. 

Maybe he’s found an Omega he likes after all.

Chapter Text

It’s been quite a car ride. 

Ben’s been driving around now for thirty minutes, and he still can’t get Rey to tell him what she wants to eat for dinner. 

They’ve gone through all the presidents Rey likes: Abraham Lincoln (she recites the Gettysburg Address for him), William Howard Taft (obviously because of the mustache), and Teddy Roosevelt (Ben learns about the Antiquities Act, which she’s been fixated on for half the trip)—and all the ones Rey hates: Zachary Taylor (who the fuck is that? Ben thinks), and Franklin Roosevelt (Teddy is the better Roosevelt), and now the conversation has moved on to First Ladies. And Ben is ready to lose it because if he doesn’t get any food into his stomach soon he may combust. 

She’s going on a spiel about Dolley Madison when Ben interrupts her: “I’m sorry, Rey, but where would you like to eat? You must be getting hungry. How long has it been since you’ve eaten?” He’s going into Alpha mode now, which he often does when he’s hungry and tired—and apparently anywhere near Rey. 

She looks at him like she’s forgotten about food—that eating is a completely foreign concept—before giving her answer.

“Taco Bell,” she says confidently while fiddling with the radio some more. Ben can’t tell if she does this because it’s just a habit or a nervous tick. 

He knows one thing though: this Omega is not having Taco Bell. It’s the most unhealthy choice she could have come up with. 

Besides: he wants to spoil her. She’s so sweet and kind, and he can’t stop thinking about how it felt when she hugged him earlier at the hotel. His Alpha really wants to hear her little chirps again. No Omega has ever chirped at him. He knows there’s a really nice steakhouse about a block away, and sure it’s probably too expensive for an informal dinner—a dinner that is most definitely not a date—but why not? Rey would have had the same kind of food at the fundraiser anyway. 

Ben absolutely fumes when he thinks about how his mother had spoken to Rey. Every year she has that stupid dinner her assistant is right there next to her. It’s an absolute guarantee that when he checks his phone again he’ll see a whole thread of text messages from her about how disloyal he is as a son. But Ben could care less. Leia needs to learn to stop pushing him around. He’s a grown man, and he’s an Alpha. And she can’t treat Omegas like that either—especially Rey. 

“This isn’t how you get to Taco Bell,” Rey says with authority, so much so that she actually sounds like Leia. “You take a right at the Mapco on Spring Rd. and a left at McGovern.”

Ben bites his bottom lip. “Yeah, I know, but I figured I could take you someplace nicer. Do you like steak?”

“Yes,” she answers in a flat voice.

“Okay great! You’ll really like where I’m taking you.” 

“No, I want Taco Bell.”

Ben sighs. His Alpha is screaming at him (YOU CANNOT LET THIS OMEGA HAVE TACO BELL), but Ben ignores it, knowing this will be a losing battle. He’ll just have to take her to the nice restaurant some other time. 

He spends fifty dollars at Taco Bell because Rey orders half the menu, but it’s worth it to see the happy expression on her face. He doesn’t even bat an eye when she accidently flings nacho cheese all over the dashboard or spills a little of her Baha Blast on the seat. He asks her for directions home, and it’s only fifteen minutes away. They pull up to a nice apartment complex, and Ben puts his car in park. 

When he looks over at her he chuckles, seeing that her mouth is rimmed in hot sauce and there’s a bit of cheese on her cheek. 

All of a sudden Ben feels really awkward, as if he’s suddenly reminded that he’s alone with a girl, and it’s been a long time since that’s happened. He doesn’t really know what to say or how to handle himself. He’s kept himself so isolated from people over the past few years that he’s forgotten the basics. 

“So um…” he starts, clearing his throat, “this is where you live, huh?” 

“Yeah! I live here with Maz! She was my foster mother. She adopted me when I was a little girl. My parents were very abusive. They made me sleep in the hallway closet.”

Ben feels like he’s just been knocked over the head with a sledgehammer. “They what?”

Rey bites off another big piece of cheese quesadilla into her mouth, and her cheeks look like a chipmunk’s. “Dey made me sweep in deh cwoset.” 

Ben smells the air to catch her scent, expecting her to be in distress; but the gardenia blooms steadily between them, giving him no indication that she’s upset. 

He turns to face her fully, feeling more than inadequate. “Rey, I’m…I’m so sorry that happened to you. You didn’t deserve that.”

She shrugs before swallowing down the enormous bite she’s taken. “It’s okay, Alpha. They’re in jail now, so they can’t get me.”

She scrunches her cute little brow and stares oddly at him. 

Ben feels like a tea kettle that’s been sitting on the stove too long, a pot ready to boil over. He’s never felt anything like it—the absolute rage that consumes him over what she’s just told him. 

It must be affecting her too because she’s eyeing him curiously. 

Then out of nowhere, she licks her hand and rubs her saliva over the gland by his neck, an act so intimate that if anyone else had done it, he would have smacked their hand away. Interactions like this were typically reserved for the bedroom—certainly not in a parking lot where people can see and with a person he barely knows.

But he finds he doesn’t care—in fact, he leans his head back and closes his eyes, taking deep breaths until his pulse slows. She rubs the pads of her little fingers in slow circles over the soft flesh, filling the small space with her thick, floral scent, and Ben feels like he’s floating on a cloud or lying in a garden on a warm, spring day. 

And then…something happens that he does not expect…something mortifying that he should have seen coming. He’s got a hard-on. 

Every drop of blood runs south, and he’s so worked up he’s sure there’s already pre-cum forming at the tip. Shit. He’s got to calm down before he comes in his pants like a thirteen year old. 

With every bit of gentleness he can muster in his frazzled state, he takes her hand off his gland (ignoring the way his Alpha protests) and quickly opens his eyes and tries to collect himself. 

He looks over and sees that she has a faraway look in her eyes. They’re glazed over, and her cheeks are pink. And he can smell it…newly formed slick. He’s sure that if he were to slip his fingers under her skirt and feel between her legs she would be wet. 

God, what is she doing to him? He doesn’t think he can handle being in close proximity to her much longer without doing something crazy—pulling her mouth to his, running his hand up her dress, kneading her breasts.

He’s got to get out of this car ASAP.

He opens the door and practically leaps out onto the pavement, trying to think of anything to get his dick to behave because this girl is so sweet, so innocent that he cant make her uncomfortable with something like this. 

Pull it together Ben. 

He’s pacing, watching his feet stomp over the faded white lines between the parking spaces, trying to put the most unattractive images into his head. Hux in a dress. That seems to work. The throbbing slows, and he’s virtually back to normal when he hears the passenger door shut. 

Rey is crunching on tortilla chips on the other side of the car. 

“Do you want to see my bedroom Ben?”

Is she trying to kill him?!

Great. He looks down at the tent in his pants and sees that he’s back to square one. No way can he introduce himself to Rey’s adoptive mother like this. 

But he feels horrible saying no. It’s almost painful to do it because the thought of hurting her feelings tears him up inside, making him feel like the worst person. He knows it’s not logical, but she’s so—unassuming and innocent. 

Oh, he would love to see her bedroom, but tonight he has to leave her sooner than he would like. 

He’s so disappointed though. He wants to keep talking to her. 

So he walks around the hood of the car and stands next to her, awkwardly covering his problem with his hands. 

She’s holding the large Taco Bell bag in her hands, chewing on the last chip. 

“I um….I would love to see your bedroom, but I have to get home.”

She doesn’t seem upset—maybe confused. “Why?”

“Um…because I just…I just have to…but I really wish I didn’t! I want to stay. Do you think maybe I could come over some other time?”

“Tomorrow?” she asks with a hopeful smile. “I can show you my reborns too. I don’t show them to anyone, but I’ll let you see them.”

Once again Ben asks himself what the hell she’s talking about, but it’s not the time or place. “Maybe. I might be busy (yeah, right—more like he needs time to process all this). Can I have your number? I can text you…if you want.” Ben cannot believe this. He swore he’d never do this with an Omega but all those stupid rules he has for himself just go flying out the window. 

“Sure! It’s…”

“One sec…” Ben says, taking out his phone. “Okay I’m ready.”

She tells him her number, which she has to do twice because his hands are jittery and he keeps fucking up the numbers. 

Alpha really, really likes this: getting her number. 

Now we can call her. Omega can come over. She can look at our closet. Make her comfortable. Touch her gland. Bend her over. Give her pups. 

Jesus. Ben is going to have to up his suppressants. This is getting out of hand already. 

They stand there awkwardly for a moment, before Ben finally forces himself to get back into the car. 

“I’ll text you, Alpha,” she informs him. “I’ll send you memes.”

He chuckles. “Okay. Bye Rey.”

She waves excitedly. “Bye Ben!”

After she hops up the stairs he lets out a long breath and laughs. 

This girl is going to drive him crazy—in the best way possible.

*****

When Ben gets home that night, he throws his keys in the bowl by the door and runs to the bathroom, splashing water on his face. 

He heads into the bedroom and falls backward onto his bed and sighs. He knows what he’d like to do right now. He wants to pull his cock out and release all that tension that’s been building up since he’d left Rey at her apartment, but…

…somehow it feels…disrespectful toward her. It’s not that he doesn’t want to do anything sexual with her, it’s just that…she seems so pure and trusting. And if he jerks off to the image of her hazel eyes looking up at him all glazed over like they were in his car today, it would somehow ruin this fragile thing between them and make it dirty.

He pulls his hand away from his groin and hops up from the bed, undressing to take a shower and cool himself off, when he hears his phone ding. 

It’s Rey, because of course it is. She has no inhibitions—no hesitation about talking to him.

Rey: Thank you for taking me to Taco Bell. 

Ben: you’re very welcome. 

Rey: are you coming over tomorrow Ben?

Now he’s got to think about this. As much as he likes this girl, he needs some space for a while. Ever since he’s met her, (was that only a week ago?) it’s been like a whirlwind. 

Besides—he’s tired, and tomorrow is Saturday. He’d like to sleep in to catch up on some reading—just sit by his window with a coffee and zone out for a while. He’s the kind of person that needs to recharge his battery every now and then, especially after interacting with people. 

He hopes he doesn’t hurt her feelings. 

Ben: I’m sorry. I can’t come over tomorrow. I have something I need to do. Maybe next week?

Rey: What are you doing? Can I go with you?

Ben’s Alpha loves this—loves a clingy Omega who just wants to tag along, but Ben is exhausted.

Ben: I’m sorry. I kind of have to do it alone. But we can do something next week. I can take you out for steak this time. 

Rey: I want Red Lobster.

Ben chuckles. 

Ben: Sure, if that’s what you want. We can talk about more presidents. 

Rey: No, I don’t want to do that. 

Ben: Okay. We can talk about anything you want. 

Rey: Edith Wharton. 

Ben’s heart skips a beat.

Ben: you like to read? 

Rey: yes! I have a huge bookshelf. I’m running out of room though. Maz says if I keep buying more books we’ll have more than the library downtown.

Ben’s heart leaps in his chest because she likes reading too. He’s excited to see her again and ask her about all her favorite authors. Maybe he can give her some of his favorite books.

Ben: That's amazing Rey. I love to read too. 

Suddenly he finds his apartment is too confining—too quiet and empty. Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone else here to read with him—not to dissect every paragraph, examine the metaphors and get swept away by the characterization—but just to sit and be in each other’s comforting presence? 

Ben looks up from his phone and surveys his bedroom thoughtfully, taking in the blank, gray walls and the stark white comforter he sleeps under every night. There’s a book on his bedside table and a glass of water—the only sign that anyone ever occupies this room.

It’s much the same in his living room: a sad potted plant in the corner by the window, a chrome coffee maker on the pristine marble countertop, and a small, metal magnet on his fridge that’s holding his grocery list for the week. 

Everything is so empty and lifeless. 

But isn’t this what he’s always preferred? Everything has to be the opposite of his parents’ house. The Solo house was chaos. Images flooded his mind: porcelain plates smashing into the sink when his mother was angry and Han’s bottle of whiskey exploding against the wall, breaking one of their family photographs. He can see himself sitting in the corner of his bedroom on the floor with his hands pressed over his ears, fighting to block out the noise. 

Yes, he thinks, taking in the space again. This is why it has to be this way. He can’t fall in love. He can’t get too attached. Because it will all come tumbling down around him, leaving him even more broken than he already is. 

It can’t hurt to be Rey’s friend, though…right? There’s no harm in that. She doesn’t see him as anything else, he thinks. And maybe that’s what she needs right now too, especially working a new job. It must be hard for her to be so different from everyone else. When Ben thinks about it long enough, he realizes he feels the same way. Everyone around him is eager to fall in love and be in a relationship and he is terrified of it. 

He thinks about his day with Rey and feels a little less alone.  Maybe he wouldn’t mind letting her get to know him. 

Rey: My favorite book is The Age of Innocence. Do you know who my favorite character is? 

Ben: Madame Olenska.

Rey: How did you know that Ben?! 

Ben: because she’s my favorite too. 

Ben stays up all night texting her and doesn’t regret it—even when he feels dead on his feet the next morning. 

Chapter Text

Mom: You better have one hell of an excuse for leaving that dinner Benjamin.

Ben: And YOU better have a good excuse for treating your employee like she’s an embarrassment. 

Ben knows she’s gonna do it. She’s gonna call him in. 5, 4, 3, 2…

*RING*

Dammit.

He grumbles and yanks his work phone up to his ear, irritated that his mother is interrupting him in the middle of a busy work day. But the word ‘no’ isn’t in Leia Organa’s vocabulary. 

“What is it, Mother? I’m busy.”

She huffs. “I will not be ignored, Ben. I am your mother, and I expect a certain level of respect from you.”

“I’m thirty years old,” he reminds her. “And you’re not my boss. And if my boss catches me on the phone with you again he’ll blow a gasket. I’m not doing this with you today.”

“Oh, please. You and I both know that you hate that job. You’re just doing this to get back at me for divorcing your father all those years ago. Well we’re married now, and you need to move on. I need your help.”

“So you think that because you and Dad decided out of the blue to get back together and act like a normal couple, I’m supposed to get down on my knees, thank my lucky stars, and be at your beck and call? That’s not how this works. Goodbye.”

“Ben list-”

“I said goodbye.”

He slams the phone down and puts his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes so hard that when he opens them again the room is blurry. She’s never going to stop, is she? Probably because it’s the first time he’s ever skipped out on one of her political events. 

Does she really expect him to be okay with her behavior? He’s heard his mother verbally abuse his father relentlessly over the years; but somehow when the words ‘you can go home now’ left her mouth and directed themselves toward Rey, they were the cruelest ever uttered. 

How could she patronize Rey like that? The irony of the whole situation is that Leia Organa has spent years trying to pass new laws that make Omegas’ lives easier—giving them more freedom from Alphas. For a person that always advocates for the vulnerable in society, Leia certainly picks and chooses. 

Not that Rey needs anyone’s help.

Ben chuckles to himself, leaning back in his chair. She is the least vulnerable person he knows; in fact, she’s ten times more confident than any Omega he’s ever met. 

Usually Omegas are very soft and sweet—and Rey is without a doubt both of those things—but she possesses qualities that other Omegas don’t, and Ben can’t help but find them attractive. 

She’s smart—incredibly smart—about so many things. When she’s not telling him about her obsession with American presidents, she’s on a spiel about Queen Victoria and her nine children, each of whom fascinates her. She schools him on their marriages, children, and personalities in such detail and with such great enthusiasm that she could have easily written a dissertation on them.

All of her knowledge is like a well with an endless supply of water that overflows and never stops. 

Ben finds it impressive but also intimidating. It makes him nervous to talk to her. What could he possibly have to offer her? He’s a boring IT tech. Sure, he’s read a lot of the same books, but he hasn’t mastered the material in the way that Rey has. She remembers everything.

Yet despite his inadequacy, she still isn’t tired of him. Somehow she seems to find him just as fascinating as her most treasured topics. 

When she calls him (she prefers to call him now as texting what she wants takes too much time), she interrogates him so heartily that he feels as if all the attention he craved as an adolescent has finally been remedied. How is it possible that after only one week of knowing Rey, she’s already healing all those old wounds inside him that have been festering since he was a boy?

But he has to remind himself that he can’t take advantage of her like this. Too many Alphas use their Omegas for their inherent ability to calm and heal, but Rey is so much more than that. He wouldn’t even care if she wasn’t an Omega. He just wants to spend more time with her. 

Would she be annoyed if he texted her now? He doesn’t want to distract her while she’s working, especially with Leia being her boss; but he wants to check on her.

That’s not just him thinking it though. His Alpha wants to make sure she’s okay too. 

Ben: Hi Rey. How is work today?

Rey: Hello Ben! Work is very good. This is my first day alone. Bazine is not sitting at my desk anymore. So I have to answer all the calls myself. How are your tickets?

Ben: Pretty boring, but they always are. You’re sure you’re doing okay? Is my mother being helpful?

What he really means is, “Is my mother being nice to you? Because if she isn’t I will make sure she does, Omega.”

Rey: Oh, yes! She’s very kind and she knows so much about politics. It’s very fascinating. Though, she doesn’t seem to know a lot about her opposing party’s history. Don’t you think that’s weird? Everyone knows Teddy Roosevelt was an Omega. It’s a common misconception that he was an Alpha, but that’s not true. 

Ben: I see. And what did she say to that?

Rey: She said there was a time and place for nonsense and that it was rude of me to correct her. Ben, do you want to meet Maz this weekend?

He’s out of his chair so fast that he nearly forgets to lock his computer screen. 

Leia’s office is just a few blocks away, and he fights the urge to run (running is unnecessary to Ben, but his Alpha says otherwise). 

Sure, it’s not his lunch hour yet, but Alpha doesn’t give a shit about his schedule. Another Alpha is pushing his Omega around, and it has to be dealt with.

No, no, no, he chastises himself—she is not your Omega. She’s just a friend. 

lol

That ever-present voice that resides in his head actually laughs at him. 

Rey is our Omega. Don’t be stupid. 

Ben’s not going down that road because it will only have a bad end—relationships always do. Just look at his parents. It didn’t matter how in love they were. They still hurt each other. Sure, they’re together now, but the damage is done—and Ben is the wreckage. 

Finally he makes it to the right building and barrels his way inside, nearly knocking a man over on his way in.

He takes the elevator (throws out a couple of expletives at its painfully slow ascent) and takes a deep breath in to steady his nerves before walking into his mother’s offices. 

And there sitting at the front like an angel sent from heaven is Rey, her head bent down over her notepad, writing something out with great precision. Her hair is half up, as it usually is, falling around her face like a curtain. But he can still see her teeth biting over her lower lip and he can’t help but stare. 

Her nostrils flare a bit, and before he can process it, she’s in his arms again, a repeat of the first day they met. 

Those familiar nodes of gardenia waft into the air as she rubs her face into his shirt. He forgets about the fact that he’s in public—that something so intimate and special as her scenting against him is exposing them both to ridicule. 

But the longer he knows Rey, the less he cares about what people think of him. 

When she steps out of his embrace she looks up at him with a question in her eyes.

The prettiest eyes he’s ever…

“Well, well, well…”

It’s his fault, really. He should have known better than to come here so quickly without thinking. 

Poe saunters up to them, and Rey shifts into Ben a bit more, her scent spiking. Ben sniffs the air and smells nervousness coming off of his Omega and immediately pushes her behind him. 

“What do you want, Poe?” 

“I just wanted to see if our sweet little secretary wanted to go out for lunch today!”

Ben looks at his watch: 10:45am. It’s a little early, but maybe he should have thought to bring something for Rey. 

No, that’s stupid. She probably brought her own lunch. Who is he to try to impose on her like that? She doesn’t need him to baby her. 

Still—he can’t help but feel inadequate that Poe, another Alpha, has offered to feed Rey and Ben hasn't. 

“Oh, that’s okay Poe!” she says cheerily. “I brought my own lunch today. I have chicken noodle soup. It’s Campbell’s.”

Nope. Too cheap. Not nutritious. Give her your lunch. 

But Poe beats him to the chase. 

“Honey, that’s not good for you,” he says. “You need something more substantial.” He steps forward and takes her by the hand. “Come on, sweetheart. I’ll take you out to eat. I know a nice little Indian buffet down the street. It’s got great North Indian cuisine.”

“No. I like South Indian,” she tells him. Ben fights back a smirk because Poe looks so annoyed. Omegas are usually passive and agree to practically anything an Alpha wants just to please them. 

Rey doesn’t care about all of these unspoken societal rules. She likes what she likes. 

Poe tries to regain his smile, though it’s still faltering a bit. “Well…I guess that’s okay, but it might take me a moment to find the right place…maybe…”

Ben’s had enough of this shit. 

Time to step in. 

“You can have my lunch, Omega,” he blurts out, cursing himself for using her designation because that’s the last thing he wants to do. Rey is so much more than an Omega. 

But judging by her scent, she seems just fine with it. In fact, he’s practically smothered with buoyant, happy nodes, and it makes him woozy.

“Alpha, really? I can have your lunch?” She looks up at him with her Bambi eyes—like this is the best present she’s ever gotten. 

“Yeah, sure. Of course! I just…um…I just have to go get it. But I’ll be right back!” He runs to the door, but forgets to ask: “It’s cheese tortellini. Do you like that?”

His pulse races while he waits for her response, because he knows she will be honest; and if she rejects him he’ll do something embarrassing like sit in his car and cry. 

“Did you make it?” she asks.

“Yeah…I made it. I love to cook.” 

“Do you know how to make vada? That’s my favorite.” 

Ben has no earthly idea what she’s talking about, but it doesn’t matter because he can just look it up later. It’s not like he can make it now in the middle of a workday.

It’s not like he should be here either, but that’s beside the point. 

“Sure! Yeah…definitely. I can make that for you sometime. So yeah…just stay here…I’ll be back with the pasta.” 

“Okay, thank you Alpha! I didn’t want to have my soup anyway. I’ll sit here and wait for you.” 

And then—right in front of Poe—she lifts his wrist, yanks up his sleeve and rubs her gland with his.  It’s not a soft slide or a gentle pressing, no; she’s rubbing them together fiercely, as if this is a task that must be accomplished instead of an intimate, sweet gesture between two lovers. 

Biology is driving her to mark him as hers. 

Omega is protecting us from other Omegas. We belong to her. 

Before he can stop himself, Ben pulls his wrist away and stutters, before leaving a pissed off Poe and unfazed Rey in his wake. 

It’s hard to leave Rey alone with Poe, but Ben’s instincts are telling him it’s more important to have her fed than to protect her from the other Alpha. Poe is already mated. It’s highly unlikely that he’ll claim another Omega. Surely having two would be enough for him…right? And his mother would never let anything happen to Rey while she’s at work. 

It’s still making him anxious to leave her there, so he goes back to his office as fast as he can, running into the lunchroom to grab his lunchbox. He decides to go ahead and heat it up for her in the microwave so it’s ready by time he gets back. 

When he makes it to his mother’s offices again, he’s sweating from head to toe, but he would happily do it again to see the look on Rey’s face when she takes her first bite.

She closes her eyes and moans. “Oh, thank you Ben! This is the best pasta I’ve ever had. I like it even better than Olive Garden.” 

He chuckles, and Poe, who is still hovering by the front desk, shakes his head. 

“That’s not even real Italian. I can take you to dinner somewhere with authentic Italian food, Rey.” 

With her mouth full of pasta, looking very much as she did with her Taco Bell earlier that week, she replies: “No. I don’t want to eat dinner with you.” There is no ‘sorry’ or ‘maybe some other time.’ Just a flat-out dismissal. 

Ben fucking loves it. Poe doesn’t even answer her back. He just storms off back to his office and slams the door. 

Rey is chewing away, blissfully unaware of the state Poe is in, and Ben thinks that maybe he could stand here all day and just look at her. 

But that’s not exactly realistic. 

And then he remembers why he came here in the first place. 

He looks around the room to make sure no one is listening before asking her: “Rey—what did you say my mother said to you today? About the whole Teddy Roosevelt thing?” 

“She said it was rude, and that I was spouting off nonsense.” 

Ben’s fighting a tantrum because it really isn’t a big deal, is it? His mother has always been blunt and unfeeling. Rey can often be blunt, but her intentions are always innocent—Leia’s aren’t. Ben’s been on the rough end of her criticisms time and again. He knows how she operates.

And he doesn’t like it. 

“I’ll be right back, Rey.” 

“Okay. I’ll be here,” she informs him, stating the obvious. 

He walks swiftly down the end of the hall to his mother’s office, passing Hux along the way, who looks like he already has something sarcastic to say. 

“Come to see your girlfriend?” Hux jokes, wiggling his eyebrows. 

“Shut up Armitage,” Ben says, pushing the redhead out of the way. “I’m busy.” 

“Somebody has a crushhhhhh,” Hux sings behind him.

Ben flips him off. He’ll get him back for that later. Right now he has a little business to attend to with his mother. 

Not caring about interrupting a meeting or a phone call, Ben throws open Leia’s door and catches her by surprise.

“Ben! What on earth are you doing here?!”

He shuts the door behind him and puts his hands on his hips. 

“Right, so I heard what you said to Rey, and I think you should apologize to her.” 

Leia leans back into her chair and laughs. “Have you lost your mind? Apologize for what?” 

“For being mean to her.”

She covers her face with her hands and mutters an ‘oh my God.’  

“This isn’t pre-school, Benjamin. I was never mean to her. I told her that she needs to focus on work because all of these silly little obsessions she has are distracting. I can’t even have a conversation with her about her duties without hearing something nonsensical.” 

Ben tries to calm himself. He sits in the chair in front of his mother’s desk and leans his arms over his knees.

“Mother—Rey is on the spectrum. You know she can’t help it.” 

“Ben, do you even know what ‘on the spectrum’ means, or are you just throwing that phrase around because you are infatuated with her?”

Yes. 

“No. I’m just looking out for her. She’s a nice person.” 

Nope. She’s our mate stupid. 

He’s really got to up his suppressants. 

“Ben, I will only tell you this one more time. Rey deserves to be treated just like anyone else. You aren’t doing her any favors by infantilizing her…and (she raises her volume when he tries to interrupt) I’m sure she would agree with me.”

But she’s an Omega. This Alpha needs to back off. Tell her. 

“Well…it’s not that. It’s that she’s…she’s an Omega, and you’re an Alpha. You need to be careful with how you speak to her. You know how Omegas are. They’re sensitive.” 

Leia looks like she doesn’t buy his response for a minute. 

“I’m not going to have this conversation with you again. Now what I want to know is why you abandoned me at that charity dinner. You’ve never behaved this way before. I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but I’m telling you—it better not happen again.” 

Ben has never felt more pissed off. How dare she demand that he help her? He’s a grown adult! She doesn’t own him! He’s not her little Omega that she can order around! And he doesn’t care who hears him, because he’s about to unleash thirty years of pent-up trauma on this woman to show her that she’s never going to treat him this way again—ever. 

Then there’s a little knock at the door. He yanks it open to see Rey standing there with a worried look on her face. 

“Are you okay, Alpha? I could smell you all the way up to my desk. You seem upset. Would you like some tortellini?” 

It’s not really a question, because before he can answer, she stabs a piece of pasta with her fork and shoves it into his mouth. He takes a deep breath in through his nose while he chews it, feeling his pulse calm. 

Ahhh. That’s better.

All that anger that was spinning around like a tornado inside of him has subsided, leaving nothing but a pleasant peace—the gardenia blooming around him. He’s back in her meadow again, lying under the afternoon sun without a care in the world. 

“Rey…get back to your desk before you miss a phone call,” Leia orders, waking Ben from the trance he’s in. 

Rey grabs his hand to lead him out.

“Benjamin—remember what I said. Do not fail me again.” 

He does the mature thing and ignores her, choosing instead to focus on the delicate hand in his. 

“Ben, will you eat lunch with me?” she asks him, and he would love to, but he can’t lose his job. 

“I’m sorry, Rey—maybe some other time, okay?” 

Her face looks downcast. “Oh. Can you come over and meet Maz this weekend?” 

“Sure—I’d love to.” 

There’s her smile. She’s happy again. 

Before he leaves, though, he wants to make sure of something. 

“Rey, can you do me a favor?” he asks her, bending over the edge of the desk with his arms crossed.

She wipes her face with a napkin. “Sure!” 

“Will you be careful around Poe?” 

He’d like to order her to stay away from Poe, but that’s kind of impossible because they work together. And he doesn’t want to command an Omega when she doesn’t belong to him. 

Yes she does! Do it! Command her. 

“Oh. Sure, but why would I need to be careful?”

“Just—don’t go anywhere with him alone, okay? Sorry—I have no right to be telling you what to do.” 

She nods fervently. “That’s okay, Alpha. I trust you. I promise I will be very careful. I will call you tonight. What time do you get home?” 

Ben smiles. “At five. You can call me then.”

He stands rooted in front of the desk for a moment, awkwardly tightening his fists at his sides because it’s hard for him to leave her alone—especially when a threatening Alpha is working a few feet away. 

She rises from her perch behind the desk, taking him by surprise as she leans up to kiss his cheek.

He walks back to work in a daze. 

*****

It’s raining that Saturday when Ben arrives at Rey’s apartment to meet Maz. 

After he parks his car, he tries to get his bearings, pulling down his visor mirror to make sure he looks presentable. 

Should he have brought a gift for Maz—maybe flowers? How does one greet the foster mother of the woman he is attracted to but definitely not dating?

Ben sighs, placing his hand on his chest in a vain attempt to slow his heart rate. This isn’t a big deal. He’s just spending more time getting to know his new friend. It’s not him picking her up for a date or anything. 

Unfortunately by the time he’s ready to exit the car, the rain is pouring down in a deluge, which means all his primping was a waste of time. 

Oh well. He’s not going to be impressing anyone now. 

With wet hair clinging to his temples and a shirt that’s soaked through to the skin, he finds her apartment number and knocks on the door. 

Not even a second after he’s done knocking the door swings open, and there stands Rey with her usual bright smile and flowery scent, dressed in tight, dark wash jeans and a white t-shirt with Snoopy cradling a tiny Woodstock in his paws. 

She couldn’t look more adorable than she does at this moment—or more attractive. Ben’s Alpha likes seeing her like this, casually dressed and relaxed. 

“Hi, Ben! How are you?” she chirps, gazing up at him. She doesn’t give him a chance to answer. “I’m so happy you’re here! Now I can show you my reborns! Oh and all my books too! You can take one home with you, if you like! I know you like Edith Wharton and William Faulkner! Maybe you…”

“Rey, give the boy some room to breathe!”

An elderly woman (Beta by the smell of it) with a cane shuffles into the room and holds out her bony hand to introduce herself. 

“I’m Maz Kanata. You must be the boy Rey has been jabbering about for the past few days.” She takes him in, scanning him from head to toe. “Son, you look like a wet dog. Rey, why didn't you offer him a towel or anything?”

“Oh,” she says innocently. “Sorry, Ben. I’ll go get you one!”

She scampers into what Ben can only assume is the hallway closet and returns with a mint green towel. He thanks her before rubbing his head with it. 

Maz cackles. “You look like The Shaggy Dog. And your shirt is soaking wet. Rey, honey you might as well go get your boyfriend a shirt too.”

Ben fidgets nervously nervously. “Oh, no! I’m not her boyfriend.”

The old woman escorts him to a couch covered in plastic and rolls her eyes. “Don’t be stupid.”

lol!

Stupid Alpha voice. 

“I’ll get you a drink. What’ll you have?”

He shrugs. “Water is fine. Thank you.”

Her eyes widen. “Water?” She shakes her head disapprovingly and talks to herself on the way to the kitchen. 

While Rey is upstairs trying to locate a shirt for him to wear, Ben takes his first good look around the space. 

He’s surrounded by old wood paneling from wall to wall. The oriental carpet beneath his feet has certainly seen better days, the once red color faded into a soft orange, the edges lined with frayed ends. It’s a little hazy in the room, and the air conditioning must barely be running because it’s stiflingly hot. There are old photographs on the walls from a variety of time periods, the oldest of which must be from the 1920s, judging by the short haircuts and low hemlines. Behind Maz’s recliner is a glass display case filled with frightening old dolls that look like they’d come to life at any terrifying moment.

Maz comes back into the room, her jewelry jangling away, with a drink in each hand. 

“Here you are. Drink up!”

Ben smiles and takes a swig before spitting it right out. 

It’s vodka—and by the harsh taste of it, very cheap 100 proof vodka. Ben imagines that this is what nail polish remover would taste like. 

He’s coughing and hitting his chest with his fist, trying to maintain any semblance of calm and cool that he can, but it’s hopeless at this point.

Maz, on the other hand, is relaxing, plunking herself down into the squeaky recliner across from him, stirring what looks like a Bloody Mary with a large stick of celery. 

She lights a Virginia Slim and assesses him with a smirk. 

“Sorry, kid—no water here. In my house we drink. Besides! This is practically your initiation into the Kanata clan! It’s not every day my little Rey brings home an Alpha.”

There are many thoughts Ben has at this moment, the first and most urgent being the fact that he is not Rey’s Alpha. The next is that he doesn’t like drinking or smoking, but he gets the feeling that expressing that might earn him a swift smack, and he has no doubt that the old lady sitting across from him would have no problem using her cane as a weapon. 

He’s just about to correct her on the first part, when she notices him looking at the antique dolls behind her. 

“Those are my Shirley Temple dolls. Momma was an avid collector. She bought them for me when I was a little girl.” She points a long finger at him. “They’re worth a fortune, but you can’t sell them! They have to stay in the family!” She leans forward, making the old chair creak, whispering not so quietly: “I’m giving them to Rey as a wedding present. I expect they’ll make great heirlooms—especially for all the little girls you’ll have.”

Now Ben has no problem knocking a few gulps of his drink back. 

It’s not necessary to correct her. There’s no point in it, because Ben is sure from only having known this lady a few minutes that she won’t listen to reason. 

Thankfully Rey comes hopping down the old wooden steps with a navy blue undershirt over her arm. 

“Maz—I had to take one of Pop’s old shirts because all of mine are too small.”

“That’s just fine, sweetheart,” she says, tapping her cigarette over the ashtray next to her. 

“Here you go, Ben,” Rey says, about to hand over the shirt. 

Ben stands and pulls his button-down shirt off, then his damp undershirt, leaving him bare-chested in front of them. 

After shaking his half-dried hair out of his eyes, he reaches out to take the shirt, but Rey has dropped it onto the carpet. 

She’s staring at his chest, her pupils dilated and chest rising and falling just a touch more rapidly than it was before. 

A lovely pink blooms in her cheeks as she takes him in, wringing her hands over her stomach. 

It’s when she gently bites down on her bottom lip that Ben can feel the beginning of an erection forming in his pants, and the mortification he experiences knows no bounds. 

A long whistle can be heard where Maz is seated comfortably in her chair, an emphatic ‘damn’ leaving her rouged lips. 

It’s not that Ben is embarrassed of his body. He works out a lot because it relaxes him. It’s that he’s half-naked in front of two women who are ogling him that makes him want to fall into the floor. 

Then the phone—that must be at least twenty years old—trills loudly, breaking the spell that’s come over them.

Rey quickly reaches down for the shirt and hands it over, watching him slip it on with wide eyes. 

“Marge? That you?” Maz says into the receiver. “What channel? Which one?” She holds her hand over the speaker and looks at Ben. “It’s been a pleasure to meet you, young man, but Paul Henreid is on TCM tonight. You kids go on upstairs and have fun.”

Ben waves awkwardly and mutters a ‘nice to meet you too’ before following Rey to the second floor. 

Upon reaching the landing, Ben can smell the gardenia wafting from Rey’s room at the end of the hallway. 

She opens the door and lets him inside, and he’s assaulted with it. 

Mmmm. So good. So good. 

For once, Ben agrees with his Alpha. 

Rey’s space is very different from Maz’s. Where Maz’s is humid, antique-ridden and covered in a blanket of smoke, Rey’s is a more open, contemporary space. 

It’s a decently sized room, with a purple comforter draped over a full sized bed in the corner under a string of twinkle lights. The walls are clean and white, decorated with an elaborate stenciling of flowers and trees, almost as if a garden is growing on her walls. On her bedside table is a little tree lamp with light blue roses glowing softly on the wired branches. 

At the end of her bed is a small wooden trunk, and in the corner against the wall is a large desk, which seems to operate more as a workspace than one for studying, judging by the tools that are placed atop it. 

And of course there is a large bookcase on one wall, which interests Ben a lot because he loves to read. 

An AC Unit in the window is blowing nice, crisp cold air into the room. 

And the best part? Ben is finally alone with Rey.

“Can I sit here?” he asks her, pointing to the bed. 

“Oh…sure! I was going to show you my books! Would you like to see them? I have a lot of Faulkner. I know you love him, Ben. And Ralph Ellison too!  Which would you like to see first?” 

He would love to, but his attention is pulled to her desk, where he sees an assortment of acrylic paints and brushes. “What are these for, Rey?” 

“Oh! Those are for my reborn dolls! Would you like to see them?” 

“Sure.” 

She opens her closet door, pulls out a large, unsealed box and places it onto the desk.

“I’m still working on this one, but I’ll let you take a look.” Her hands gently lift a half-finished doll of an infant and hold it up for him. 

Ben’s a little perplexed. “So…do you make these?” 

“Well, I don’t sculpt the body parts. I have to order them in a kit. I’m not quite that skilled yet, but I’d like to be. I’ll show you what some of my finished ones look like.” 

She pulls out three more boxes, and inside each is the same sort of doll, though they’re all different sizes and skin tones. 

“Wow...these are beautiful. They look like real babies. You make these yourself?” 

“Yes. It takes me a while to do, but I’ve completed ten this month.” 

“You did ten of these? That’s impressive. I don’t think I could do that.” 

“Yeah…I have a lot of time to do it. I don’t really go out much.” 

“So…do you sell them online?” 

“Yes! I make them for Omegas who can’t have pups. The infertility rate among Omegas is much higher than you would think! The last study that was done by the CDC showed that ten percent of all Omegas ages fifteen to forty-four are infertile. That can be caused by a lot of things, the majority of which is related to glandular issues. Sometimes an Omega mates with an Alpha that isn’t compatible with her biology, and her uterus simply won’t accept her Alpha’s seed. Sometimes an incompatible Alpha can’t even knot, which means that his spend leaks during heat, which really isn’t conducive to procreating.” 

Ben gulps, feeling his own knot begin to swell. Somehow Rey, without her even knowing it, always manages to get him worked up. He’s going to have to learn some good breathing exercises or something if he’s going to be around her more. 

“That’s a really admirable thing that you’re doing, Rey.” 

She’s wringing her hands again. “Yes. I met an infertile Omega at the Demihuman Community Center with Maz, and I had seen people making the dolls online…and I like to paint.” 

“Did you paint these flowers?” Ben asks, brushing his finger over a violet peeking out behind the desk.

“Yes, I did. Maz says they’re pretty, but we’re going to have to paint over them if we ever move.” 

“So…you like living here with Maz?” 

She shrugs. “I guess so. I’m saving up to get my own apartment. I’ve never lived on my own, and I’d really like to, but it’s just so expensive.” 

Now’s our chance. Invite her to live with us. We have a nice, big closet. That’s where she can put the pups while you’re at work.

The only reason Ben has his own place is because his grandmother Padme set up a trust fund for him. If she hadn’t he would be in Rey’s position too. 

“Yeah…I guess it makes sense. You can save money that way,” he says. 

“One day, I’d like to live with my Alpha and have pups, but I can’t.” 

It’s bluntly said, which is normal for Rey, but Ben can feel sadness emanating from her scent that’s so overwhelming he’s fighting the urge to pull her in for a hug.

“Rey—why wouldn’t you be able to live with an Alpha?” 

“Because no Alpha wants me.”

Omega thinks she’s unwanted. Calm her. 

“But…why would you ever think that? Why would no Alpha want you?” I want you. 

She shrugs. “I talk too much. And I have a hard time understanding Alphas—anyone really.”

“You can’t read their scent?” 

“Not very well. Ben—I’m autistic. Did you know that?”

Ben winces because he feels like he should have confessed it or something. He didn’t know whether he should bring it up or not because it didn’t seem like his business, especially since he hasn’t known her for that long. 

“Yeah—Bazine sort of let it slip. Is that why you have trouble reading other people’s scents?”

She nods. “It’s like—they all meld together into one big cloud of pheromones and I can’t differentiate between who the scents belong to—and it gets so overwhelming that I usually just stay home.”

Ben has a horrible thought—what if his scent is bad? What if it stresses her out?

“Is mine okay?” he asks, meaning his scent.

“Your scent?”

He nods.

“Oh, Ben, yours is wonderful! You're the first person I’ve ever smelled that made me feel relaxed.” She scrunches up her cute little button nose. “All other Alpha smells are pungent and give me headaches. You know—that’s why a lot of studies have shown that same-designation pairing among autistic demihumans has great benefits because the similarity of the scents seems to balance out their nervous systems.”

Ben has read about this—how people on the spectrum have sensitivity issues. 

She continues. “Omegas are okay. But Alphas say and do things that just don’t make sense to me.”

“Rey—I hope I don’t ever say or do anything to make you upset,” Ben says, bracing himself for her to say that he’s done something wrong.

“Oh, no Ben! You treat me like an Omega. I like it—a lot. I wish I could be your Omega. Do you have a girlfriend Ben?”

Here it is—here’s the moment where he tells her the truth—that his parents have completely fucked him up for anyone, and that he would only cause her pain because that’s all he ever saw his father do to his mother. 

Years of broken picture frames and antique vases smashing against the walls of his family home flash before his eyes…his mother’s tears…his father’s drunken tirades…

But…when he looks at this stunningly beautiful Omega in her Snoopy t-shirt, unveiling all her vulnerable parts, those memories just don’t seem to matter anymore. 

“No, I don’t have a girlfriend,” he says. “But…I would like one.” He awkwardly clears his throat, summoning the courage to ask her something he’s never asked an Omega before.

“Would you like to go out with me, Rey?”

Chapter Text

Rey’s heart is beating incredibly fast, the spaces between her hands slick with sweat. She’s staring at Ben’s lips, which remind her of a set of plush pink pillows she saw at Target. Maybe they can go to Target right now! She’s been meaning to buy some new throw pillows for her bed. And then they can get popcorn and Coke and go down the toy aisle for fun. And—

“Um—Rey?”

It’s a little nerve-wracking to look him in the eye. She has to interrupt her train of thought and bring herself back to the present. 

Did he just ask her out for—for a date?

“Did you hear what I asked you?” Ben says, wiping his hands on his pants. His scent is all over the place, like popcorn kernels exploding in the air. It’s odd and a little overwhelming to be able to distinguish his scent. Rey has never been able to read an Alpha so well. Ben is special. 

“You…you want to go on a date with me?” she asks with hesitation, trying to decipher what his next move is. Her nostrils twitch as she tries to scent the air. 

“Yes, I do…so…will you?”

Rey scans his face and tries to see if he’s being serious. It’s so frustrating. She never knows when people are teasing her or being sarcastic; but she’s being silly because this is Ben and he would never be rude or say anything disingenuous. He must truly want to go out with her, which must mean…

“You want to be my Alpha?!”

His eyes widen and his scent does this weird spiral in the air around him. She thinks that means he’s anxious…or maybe excited? It happens when she hugs him or when she touches his hand. 

“Well, I…I don’t know if I’m ready to be someone’s Alpha yet, but I would like to take you out and sort of…see where things go…?”

This is so frustrating! Why would an Alpha ask an Omega out for a date if he didn’t intend on being her Alpha? Isn’t that just a waste of time?!

He doesn’t want us?

She swallows and straightens her back, ready to be honest with him because she deserves to be courted by an Alpha who has long-term goals. She deepens the timbre of her voice so he understands how serious this is to her. “I want you to be my Alpha. Do you not want me to be your Omega?” 

Rey has to be direct. Conversations are like a dance where everyone else knows the steps except her. She needs him to lead her around the floor (so to speak).

“I…God, I’m so bad at this,” Ben says, rubbing his eyes with his wrists. Rey notices the tiny pink gland swelling there on his right hand—as pink as his lips. She smells that familiar spiraling in his scent that tells her he is nervous, and hops up from her seat at her work desk and sits on the edge of the bed next to him. 

Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark.

Her Omega chants a steady order in her head, instructing her to rub her gland against his to calm him down. Rey loves her Omega. It’s like having a secret helper—someone to interpret other  people’s behavior and tell her how to respond. 

She yanks his hand into her lap and hones in on his gland, rubbing her wrist over his, and it feels like ecstasy. His breathing begins to slow, the frantic spiraling in the air settling into a peaceful buzz. His eyes are glazed over, looking at nothing. She wishes he would look at her.

Then something awkward happens. A stream of sticky slick slowly creeps its way down her thigh. She rubs her thighs to make herself more comfortable, but now her jeans are wet with slick. Ben is finally staring at her, but his eyes shift from her face to her lap, and her Omega knows why he’s looking there. 

He wants us. 

“You don’t have to explain anything, Ben,” Rey tells him, afraid that she’ll say something to scare him away. How many chances will she have to go out with an Alpha? Alphas don’t like her. 

And she really likes Ben. 

His cheeks puff up like a chipmunk’s before he lets out a long, steady breath. He smiles, and her thighs get wetter. 

“Thank you, Rey. So—what do you say? Can I take you out to dinner maybe next weekend?”

She nods. “Yes, that’s fine! Can we go to Olive Garden? I haven’t been in so long! Maz doesn’t like to go out to eat. She prefers staying inside and snacking.” It really is so frustrating. Rey wants to do so many things, but Maz is an older lady who has already had her ‘fair share of gallivanting about town.’

“Sure!” Ben says. “I could always take you someplace nicer too…if you like.”

Rey shakes her head emphatically. “No thank you. I want breadsticks.” Rey doesn’t like fancy restaurants. When she was a child, one of Maz’s friends invited them out to a place like that, and Rey got into trouble when a waiter accidentally dropped several china dishes, making them shatter loudly. The noise vibrated and burrowed its way into her ears, making her cover them frantically and scream until the commotion died down. The manager turned up his snobby nose and asked them to leave.

Nothing so horrible would happen at Olive Garden, and Rey knows the head cook there. His name is Dex. Rey can’t wait for Ben to meet him!

Ben smiles. “Okay. Sounds good to me. So—tell me about what books you have.” He stands up and walks over to her bookshelf, running his fingers along the worn spines.

“Well, I just re-read The Age of Innocence. There are so many lovely quotes from that book; but I think there are better ones in Invisible Man. Do you know what my favorite Ellison quote is Ben?”

He shakes his head and raises his eyebrows. “No, I don’t. What is it?”

She grins. “I yam what I am.”

His eyes widen, and she’s sure he knows the reference by the change in his expression. 

“That’s a Popeye reference, right?” he says, and her face falls. Well technically, yes, but he doesn’t understand all that it implies. 

She pulls the book from the shelf and opens to the quote in question. 

“I’ll explain it to you, Alpha.” She scoots backward to the wall and pats the seat next to her. He sits beside her. Her legs are still a little wet and uncomfortable though. Maybe she should excuse herself to wipe them off in the bathroom. She’s not going to be able to focus if she doesn’t. 

Then she looks at Ben, and his eyes have gone all hazy and deep brown. His scent is like a fluffy teddy bear that snuggles around her. Suddenly the need to clean herself is completely unimportant, being quietly silenced by the Alpha sitting next to her. 

Her Alpha. 

*****

Rey is in a conundrum. She has never been on a date before, and Ben is taking her out tomorrow evening. And while she normally wears casual clothing when going to the Olive Garden—maybe her sunflower t-shirt and light-wash jeans—this is different because she’s with a boy. An Alpha. 

And Ben is so handsome. She loves his eyes because the irises change like the mood ring Maz bought her at the grocery store when she was a child. She remembers the clicking of the metal crank as it turned with her fingers, until a small plastic container plunked down into the open slot. When she pulled the cap off, there it was—a green mood ring that looked like a little oval galaxy shimmering under the flickering fluorescent lights. 

The color of his eyes changes with his scent from amber brown, to green with little golden spots twinkling like stars under his lashes. 

His lashes! They’re gorgeous too—long, black and pretty. It makes Rey want to give him butterfly kisses, but perhaps that’s too forward? Is it too forward to butterfly kiss someone on a first date? What about a kiss on the lips? Should she do it? Or should Ben decide? 

Alpha. Let Alpha make the first move. 

Oh. 

Rey thanks the little Omega in her head for the advice. Better to listen to her. She knows best. And Rey doesn’t want all the pressure of making the first romantic move. What if Ben thinks she’s weird? It wouldn’t be the first time an Alpha called her weird. 

That solves the issue with the first kiss, but what about her outfit? Maybe she can ask her friend Rose. She would ask Maz, but Maz is too old to help. She’ll make Rey wear something vintage and ugly. There are nice looking vintage clothes Rey likes—especially from the forties—but Maz would probably drape her in a garishly colored mumu from the seventies. She is completely out of touch. 

Rey sits on her bed and leans against the wall where she and Ben had reclined when he came over to visit just a week ago. She runs her hand over the spot on the comforter where he sat, and her nose twitches. The scent of him there only lasted a day or two because Rey had rubbed her face into the cotton so much. She had some…other urges that were very unlike her—things she wanted to do with her blanket that were in no way normal or innocent. 

But she just feels so calm when she smells him. It’s like the best fabric softener—lavender and vanilla orchid. She wants to burrow herself like a little bunny rabbit inside of him. She imagines it must feel the same way when a cat kneads its paws into a fluffy blanket. 

And his glands, well—Rey has never seen anything look so delectable. Somehow she knows that if she could sink her teeth into the one by his neck, the incessant need she has to be close to him would finally subside. 

Rey feels like a starfish suctioned to the wall of a fish tank when Ben walks into a room. She wants to fuse herself with him. The closer she is, the calmer she feels. All the noises and scents that bombard her immediately die down when she’s in his arms—as if someone has turned the dial down on a radio. A little twinge of guilt nips at her, reminding her that Ben is a person—so much more than his designation. Rey can’t use him for her own ends.

She shakes her head to clear it, trying to get herself to focus. She’s got to find a suitable outfit for this date or it will be a complete disaster. Her next order of business is calling Rose to see if she can get some advice. Rose has a boyfriend named Finn, so she must know a lot about how to behave on dates. 

Rey snatches her phone from her bedside table and leans on the floral pillow against her headboard. And before she can call Rose, she sees a text from Ben and smiles. 

Ben: Hi Rey! How are you? 

Rey: Very well. How are you today?

Ben: Good because it’s Friday. Work is driving me crazy. What time can I pick you up tomorrow? 

Rey: Maybe 5:00pm. 

Rey likes to eat dinner early. Maz always took Rey out for early bird specials growing up, so she’s not used to waiting until seven or eight for dinner. 

Ben: okay perfect. I was thinking maybe after dinner we could go see a movie. The old theatre in town is playing something I think you’ll love. Is that okay? 

Oh no. This is exactly what Rey has always hated: being in a confined space surrounded by large groups of people. Any normal person would take no issue with this, but Rey can’t handle all the scents in the air. It triggers her anxiety and gives her a migraine that can last for hours. How is she going to tell Ben no? She doesn’t want to start off on the wrong foot. What if he is offended when she says no?

She simply can’t say no. Ben is too important. She likes him so much.

Besides—she can always bring her facemask if she needs it. Maybe it won’t be too busy anyway and she won’t even need it. His scent might be enough to form a nice bubble around them. 

Rey: Sure! That sounds wonderful. Thank you, Ben. I will be ready at 5:00pm.

Ben: I’ll see you then :)

Rey places the phone down onto her comforter and sighs. This will be okay. Everything will be fine. You can handle this for one night. A night with Ben is worth it. 

Alpha will take care of us. 

Yes, Rey agrees, feeling a blooming warmth in her chest. He will.

*****

When Rey talks to Rose, she is advised that pants are a no-go for a date, which is fine because Rey often prefers dresses. They’re light and airy, not clinging to every inch of her skin. And tonight Rose has recommended that she wear her pink chiffon dress because it’s “right in between super dressy and casual. It’s exactly the right balance. Put on some simple stud earrings—none of that flashy, costume jewelry that Maz has—and do your hair in loose curls.” 

Rey sees no point in curling her hair. It always falls flat within an hour, but she gives it a shot. 

Now, dressed and ready, Rey waits in the living room with Maz, who’s currently nursing her third bloody mary of the day. 

“Excited about your big date?” Maz asks, adjusting her crossed ankles over the aged ottoman in front of her. 

Rey sits on the couch, hands rubbing over her thighs nervously. “Yes! Ben is taking me to Olive Garden and then to a movie.”

Maz takes a drag of her cigarette and holds it in the air. “That boy is taking you to Olive Garden?! Kiddo, a gentleman caller needs to take you to something much more elevated—nothing so cheap and fake.”

“But…but I like Olive Garden. Ben wants to take me somewhere nicer, but I don’t want that. I want Olive Garden. Besides! I get to introduce him to my friends!”

Maz mutters a quiet oh boy, and sits up a bit straighter. “Sweetheart, a date is supposed to be about the man and woman involved, not the entire restaurant staff. It will be rude to introduce your Alpha to all those people. He has to be the focus. That’s what Alphas like.”

Rey cringes. This date will be much harder than she thought. “Is that what Pop was like?”

“My, yes! He may have been just a Beta, but men no matter their designation always want to be the center of the universe. It’s just the way things have always been.”

That doesn’t sound right. Ben doesn’t seem like the kind of person that would require so much attention; but perhaps Maz is right. She may come from an entirely different generation with old-fashioned perspectives, but she knows more about the opposite sex than Rey does. 

“Okay. I’ll do my best.”

Maz slaps her bony knee. “Good girl!”

Just then the doorbell rings, and Rey leaps excitedly off the couch to answer it. 

He’s here, he’s here! Alpha is here. She’s so happy. 

She opens the door and is met with his lilac scent, her anxiety over the evening melting away like warm butter. He’s dressed in the same way he does for work, though his shirt isn’t tucked in and his sleeves are rolled up to the elbows, which makes her very happy since she can see his glands there on his wrists. 

“Hello, Rey.”

He’s got a bouquet of flowers in his hand—they’re white and smell heavenly. “What are these, Ben?” she asks curiously.

“They’re gardenias. They um…reminded me of you. I hope the smell’s not too strong.” 

She leans down to inhale the scent of them, and no, the smell is just right. 

“You are so kind, Ben. Thank you. I have a hard time with smells, you know. I hate the smell of gasoline and smoke and grocery stores and…”

“Rey! Stop boring the boy and get on with your date,” Maz says. “Remember what I told you…” she winks.

Oh right! Rey can’t make this date all about her. It has to be about him.

“Right! Sorry, Ben. I’m ready to go now.”

He holds out his hand and she giddily takes it. She had wanted to hug him, but the flowers were in the way. Maybe she can once they get out into the hallway. 

She sets the lovely flowers on the entryway table and walks with Ben to his car. Before they make it to the parking lot, she pulls him in closely and squeezes around his waist. She does what she always does, rubbing her face into his shirt. It’s heavenly.

His arms reach around her waist and gently rest there. She would like him to squeeze her much tighter, but feels awkward making such a request. 

When he steps out of the embrace, he looks a little out of it. She feels his sweaty thumb rubbing over her knuckles. It feels nice. 

“You look very pretty,” he says. “I like your dress.”

“Oh, thank you Ben! I wasn’t sure what exactly I should wear since I’ve never been on a date before, but Rose helped me pick something out. She said dresses are better for dates. Is that what you think?”

His eyebrows raise as he opens his car door for her. “I think you look nice in anything you wear.”

Rey’s eyes widen, mouth dropping a little. “You do? You mean I could have worn a t-shirt if I wanted to?” That would have been nice. 

He motions for her to sit, and she finally does, turning on the A/C because she is always hot. Maz really needs to invest in a new HVAC system. 

“You can wear whatever you like, Rey. I don’t mind.”

Wow—Ben is so nice. He really doesn’t care what she looks like? Rey has always known she’s a pretty girl—maybe there are a few characteristics she’s not fond of, but overall she’s happy with her features. She wonders—what kind of beauty in a woman does Ben prefer? Hopefully she’s his type. At least he’s pleased with what she wears. 

They drive for about ten minutes, Rey giving him directions the whole way. She is practically vibrating with excitement. She hasn’t been to Olive Garden in a few weeks and she’s looking forward to seeing her friends. Perhaps she can leave this part out of her retelling of the date to Maz. 

He holds her hand again as they walk up to the doors of the restaurant, and Rey squeezes it. He’s like a big, solid anchor, making her feel grounded and safe. 

Upon entering, she spots her favorite hostess, Jannah, and runs up to hug her. 

“Jannah! It’s so good to see you! I haven’t been here in weeks! But guess what! I have a date!” Rey can barely contain her excitement as she pulls Ben forward to introduce him. “This is Ben! He’s an Alpha. I work for his mother, Leia.”

“Nice to meet you,” Ben says, shaking her hand. 

“You as well! Rey, you never told me you had an Alpha! He’s good-looking too.” Jannah wiggles her eyebrows and Rey blushes. She hadn’t really thought of other women finding Ben attractive. Has he dated other women?

Ben’s cheeks are tinged in a light pink, and there’s a bit of sweat on his forehead. He smells good, though Rey smells the tiniest bit of anxiety in it. She stands closer, grabbing his hand back. She brushes his gland on his wrist lightly with the tips of her fingers. 

“Rey, would you like your normal table?” Jannah asks, holding two menus in her hand. There’s a large table in the back room where parties and meetings are usually held that the restaurant lets Rey use. It helps keep her isolated from all the scents and the noise. That way she doesn’t have to wear her facemask in public. She always gets stares when she does that. 

But—Maz said this night should be about pleasing Ben, her Alpha. And he probably wants to sit at a regular table. 

“No, that’s okay. Just any table is fine,” Rey says, hoping she won’t regret it. 

Jannah leads them to a booth in the back, and Rey slides in, wishing she could just sit next to Ben. It would help with all the scents flying around her, which are already starting to overwhelm her senses.

Ben opens his menu and smiles over the table. “What do you usually get, Rey? I haven’t been to Olive Garden in so long.”

“Oh! I get baked parmesan shrimp! It’s not on the menu anymore, but Dex makes it for me anyway.”

“Who is Dex?” he asks. 

“He’s the head cook here! He makes me whatever I want, but I like getting the shrimp. It’s my favorite.”

Ben closes his menu. “I guess I can try it—if your friend will make it for me too.”

“Oh, I’m sure he would! He’s very accommodating.”

The waitress comes by, but Rey is disappointed. It’s not one she knows, which makes her nervous. Jyn is usually the waitress when she comes, and she knows exactly what Rey likes—her drink, her dinner, her dessert. Rey takes a deep breath and nearly coughs at the smell of the girl. She’s got her hair slicked back into a ponytail, a shiny black, and her lips have bright red lipstick coloring them. She’s an Omega. 

“Good evening! I’m Jennifer. I’ll be your server tonight. What can I get you to start off?”

Rey gets right to the point. “Where is Jyn? I'd like her to be my waitress please.”

The girl looks up from her notepad and turns her nose down at Rey, her expression not as welcoming as it was before. “Jyn’s off today, but I would be more than happy to serve you. What can I get you to drink?” 

Rey bites her nails nervously. This girl is going to judge her for her drink order. She just knows it. 

“Can…can I have…” usually Rey gets a Shirley Temple, but that’s a drink for children, and Ben will think that’s silly. 

Alpha should order for us.

She waits for Ben to order for her, but he just looks confused. They are both staring at her, and she feels like she wants to cry. Why does something so simple have to be so hard?

“I’ll have a…” what does Rose like? She’ll text her. “Just a moment.” She pulls her phone out of her purse with shaking hands and sends Rose a text. 

Rey: What should I order to drink?! I don’t know what to pick. 

Rose: Easy! Just order a margarita. You’ll like it ❤️

Rey: Okay, thank you Rose. 

“Um…may I please have a Margarita?” Rey asks, hoping that’s a good answer.

The waitress nods, writing it down on her pad. Jyn never has to write anything down. She remembers everything. 

“Sure,” Jennifer says. “And you sir?” Rey notices her tone shifts from friendly to soft and sweet when she addresses Ben. Why?

“I’ll just have water, thanks,” he says. 

“Can I have baked parmesan shrimp?” Rey quickly asks. “And Ben would like some too.”

The waitress pauses. “We don’t sell that anymore. Do you want to try the shrimp alfredo?” She stares at Ben and bats her eyelashes. “Is that what you want, Alpha?”

Ben’s eyes widen, and he coughs a little. Rey tries to smell him to gauge what he’s thinking but all the other scents in the air are interfering. 

“Yes, that’s fine,” he says. “Thank you.”

Jennifer takes their menus, smiling back at Ben, as Rey calls her back to the table. 

“Pardon me, but I would like the baked parmesan shrimp. I know that it’s off the menu, but Dex always makes it for me. Can you ask him please?”

The waitress rolls her eyes. “No. Dex is off today—called in sick. Sorry.” She walks back to the kitchen, and Rey sighs. She will just have to have the alfredo. Nothing is going right. 

When Jennifer returns with their drinks, Rey remembers her last train of thought. As she watches Ben take the glass of water from Jennifer’s hand, she wonders: how many girls has Ben dated? Has he ever had a girlfriend?”

“So, Rey—how is work going with my mother? Is she being nice to you?”

“How many girlfriends have you had, Ben?” Rey blurts out. 

“I…how many girlfriends have I had?” he asks, his brow scrunching up. 

She nods. “I’ve never had a boyfriend. You would be my first boyfriend. Would I be your first girlfriend?”

She really hopes he’ll say yes. That way they can figure this whole dating thing out together. The thought of having a mate is intimidating, but Rey would like to navigate that with Ben. He would be so kind and patient—the perfect Alpha.

“Well—yes, you would be. I’ve dated before, but only a little. I’ve never had a girlfriend.”

Rey is so happy! “Really? I’m your first?!”

His face shifts, and Rey can’t quite make it out. “Well, you would be if that’s…if that’s what we decide we want. But I definitely want to be honest with you. I haven’t dated a lot because I haven’t wanted to. I just can’t see myself with an Omega.” He rubs his hand through his hair. “My parents fought constantly when I was growing up. They hated each other. And they always made me feel like I was unwanted—a nuisance. So it’s difficult for me to be open to something like this, but I’m trying.”

Rey’s heart aches for Ben. Han and Leia hated each other? Surely not. They seem to go back and forth quite a bit, but they certainly don’t yell, and they always talk about how much they love their son. This picture Ben has painted doesn’t match up with the image Rey has of the Solos. 

But she trusts Ben, and she wants to let him know something important. 

“Ben—you aren’t unwanted at all. I want you. And you don’t have to feel alone. I understand what that’s like.”

He smiles, and she sees his dimples form in his cheeks and oh, they make his face look so handsome. She blushes profusely. And then it happens, as she should have known it would: slick begins to form between her legs, warm and wet. His nostrils flare from across the table, and his eyes seem to be more black than before. 

“Thank you, Rey,” he says, voice deep and gravelly. The slick is coming in waves, and Rey starts to panic. She’s going to make a mess on the seat, and it will be so embarrassing!

“Ben, I have to use the restroom. I’ll be right back!”

Before he can answer, she gets up from the table and skips to the bathroom. She knows exactly where it is, thankfully, and it’s not far off which is good because slick is beginning to run down her legs. 

She runs into a stall and sits on the toilet, wiping herself down. She should have known better than to wear regular underwear around Ben, but she just didn’t think about it. 

Once she’s nice and clean again, she exits the stall and washes her hands and face. She’s very flushed. 

A Beta woman steps into the room, and Rey slips behind her to head back to her table. She stands still for a moment to smooth down her dress and hair, and while she does, she hears a  conversation taking place from a few feet away. 

“It’s going to be a long night.”

It’s one of the waitresses. This one is a girl Rey’s never spoken with before. Jennifer is standing in front of a screen next to her. She grumbles: “you’re telling me. But there is one handsome Alpha at one of my tables.”

“Where?” the other girl asks. 

Jennifer points to Rey’s table at Ben. 

“Oh him. I saw him come in. Wait, but isn’t he with someone? I thought I saw a girl with him.”

Jennifer scoffs. “Yeah, but she’s a total retard—a real weirdo. There’s no way he’s with her. She’s probably just a friend. I’m gonna try and slip him my number before he leaves. Wish me luck!”

Rey steps back and hides behind a fake tree while Jennifer goes back to their table. The waitress is giggling with Ben about something. Rey can feel her throat swelling and her eyes fill with tears. That girl had called her…called her the worst possible word she could have used. Growing up, kids always used to call her the ‘r’ word, and it was devastating. It’s just as devastating now as it was then. 

Maybe Jennifer is right. Maybe Rey just isn’t good enough for Ben—or any Alpha. Ben said himself that he didn’t really want a girlfriend. He definitely doesn’t want Rey. He’s probably just doing something nice for Leia—taking her new employee out to dinner to make her feel more welcome. 

Rey’s chest heaves as she cries. She can’t possibly go back to the table. How can she ever face Ben again? 

Instead of returning to her seat, she runs toward the glass double doors past the large desk where Jannah is greeting customers. Rey pushes them open and plops down onto one of the nearby benches. She hides her face in her hands and tries to get a hold of herself, but the more she tries, the harder it is to stop. And though all the scents that were strangling her aren’t as bad now that she’s outside, she still feels completely overwhelmed. Her head hurts, and she can’t stop shaking her hands. 

“Rey! Are you okay?!”

It’s Ben. Oh no! He can’t see her like this! He’s the Alpha! He has to be the center of attention! Why is she making this all about her?! Ben doesn’t want to deal with someone WEIRD like her! 

She can’t really talk, so she just shakes her head. She tries to say something, but it’s just a bunch of blubbering. 

Ben sits next to her on the bench and rubs her back, but it makes fire run through her nerves. Her brain feels like it’s twitching and won’t stop. She shrugs him off and crosses her arms, rocking back and forth to try and calm herself down. 

“Okay, okay. I’ll stop. What if…what if I gave you a hug? Would that be okay?” he offers. 

Yes, that would be good; but it would have to be nice and tight. It’s the only kind of contact that is bearable. 

She nods, and he pulls her up from the bench and squeezes her to him. There is no space between them, and he wraps his large arms over hers, making her feel like a caterpillar in a cocoon. She’ll get snot on his shirt, but his heady scent is too much to resist. Her body surrenders to his, her heart slowing in pace. The beating in her chest de-escalates from thrumming hummingbird wings to a steady drumbeat, and finally she takes a steady breath in and out. 

“It’s okay,” Ben says softly, his hands threaded tightly at her lower back. He lifts one arm to run his fingers through her mussed up hair. Rey doesn’t like people touching her like that, but she’s so calmed by Ben’s scent that it doesn’t matter. 

She finally steps out of his arms and wipes her face. 

“Rey, what happened? Did you hurt yourself?” He scans her body for injuries. 

Alpha is so sweet. So kind

Rey doesn’t deserve him. 

“Um…no, I didn’t. Can we just…can we just leave? You don’t…you don’t have to take me home. I can call Maz.”

“But—I don’t understand. Did I do something wrong?”

“Oh, no Ben! I just…I heard…”

Another round of tears starts as Rey remembers the way Jennifer’s red lips had uttered the worst word imaginable. 

“What did you hear, Rey?” Ben says, his voice now hardening.

“Jennifer, she…called me a bad word. Can we just go, Ben? Please? I don’t…I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

Ben’s not saying anything—just standing with his hands on his hips, his mouth forming a hard line. His scent is changing into something Rey’s never smelled. It’s like burnt charcoal. 

Rey is a little hesitant to approach him in this state because she’s unfamiliar with it. But her Omega is quietly urging her to help. 

Rub your saliva over his gland. It will make him feel better. 

Oh—Ben feels bad? 

Rey slowly steps forward with caution as if approaching an angry bear. She licks her fingers and rubs them over the soft, pink patch under his shirt in small circles. She’s very gentle and careful. 

His head bends down and his eyes close. He’s relaxed now, the flames of that hot fire surrounding him dying down. 

“Thank you,” he whispers, taking her hand. “Stay here. I’m going to get our food packed up and we’ll go to my place. Is that okay?”

Rey is a little nervous to be anywhere she hasn’t been before, but she wants to be with Ben. “Yes, that’s fine.”

He comes out five minutes later with a bag in hand and escorts her to the car. Rey is quiet on the way over to Ben’s, completely drained.

When they arrive, she takes in the building. It’s much nicer than Maz’s. He walks her up one flight of stairs to his floor and opens the door. 

Rey is assaulted with his scent in the best way. She feels as if she’s tumbled into a jug of Snuggle fabric softener. 

“Would you like a glass of water?” Ben asks her, opening his kitchen cabinets.

“Yes, please,” she says, taking a seat on his black leather couch. It’s nice and cool. 

Ben sits next to her and hands her the water. He watches as she takes a few big gulps. 

“Would you like me to make a plate of your alfredo? We could rent a movie. You can pick anything you like.”

Does Rey feel like eating? When she’s upset she loves to eat, and she is still hungry for dinner. “Yes, I would.” She tries to smile, still happy that she’s with Ben. He makes everything better. 

“Okay,” she says. He hands her the remote and tells her she can pick a movie. The majority of them she’s already seen. Rey’s not a big fan of streaming. She likes to buy DVDs. Maybe Ben has something good saved on his watchlist. She clicks there, and sees something she definitely wants to watch because it’s one of her favorite documentaries of all time. Ben wants to watch this?!

He comes back from the kitchen with their plates and puts them on two black tv stands. “Did you find anything you like?” he asks her, sinking into the couch. 

“Ben, you have my favorite documentary on here! You like it too?!”

Ben looks at the TV and sees where she’s landed. It’s The Roosevelts: An Intimate History by Ken Burns. Rey loves anything to do with the Roosevelts, especially Teddy Roosevelt. She bites her thumbnail and waits for him to say something. This is so exciting! 

“Actually I saved that for you.” He shrugs and scratches behind his ear, the tip of which is now a light pink.  “I thought we could watch it together sometime. I guess now is as good a time as any.”

Then Rey wants to facepalm herself. She completely forgot about the movie Ben had wanted to take her to.  “Ben, I’m so sorry I made us miss the movie. Which movie was it?”

“It was The Age of Innocence. I thought you might like it, but it’s okay. We can go another day.” He twirls a bit of pasta with his fork. “Rey, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but what did that waitress say to you?”

Rey feels a lot safer to say now, since she’s surrounded by Alpha’s comforting scent. It’s still humiliating to say out loud to a boy she’s dating, but she supposes the band aid should be ripped off. And maybe she’s starting to trust that Ben is a good Alpha and would never make fun of her. “I was leaving the bathroom when I heard Jennifer talking about me. She called me the ‘r’ word.”

Ben looks perplexed, Rey thinks. “The ‘r’ word?”

“Yes, you know.” She writes it out on her phone and shows it to him. That charcoal smell he had before is wafting up to her nose. 

Ben pulls out his phone and stands. “I’ll be right back, Rey. I just have to make a phone call.”

He walks down the hall and shuts a door. Maybe Leia is calling him. After a few minutes, Ben comes back out and beams at her. 

“Okay, I’m ready! Let’s watch it.”

Rey licks alfredo sauce off of her mouth. “Are you sure, Ben?”

He smiles at her, and takes her hand into his, squeezing. “I’m sure.” 

Rey wonders if he just means the movie—she can’t help but think by the twinkle in his eye that he means her too. 

Chapter Text

Ben just—stares. 

He’s leaning back against his kitchen counter in a romantic daze—still dressed in his t-shirt and pajama pants, drumming his fingers against his bicep. 

The clock on the wall reads 8:30am. He usually doesn’t sleep in so late, but he suspects the scent of the lovely Omega snoring on his couch has something to do with it. Ben wakes in a fragrant, Spring garden. It’s sweet and strong, infusing itself into every space in the house, like having a strong candle lit or a plug-in that never stops working. It’s a struggle to pull himself out of bed, he’s so comfortable; but he’s eager to see the source of the scent tucked away in his living room. 

She’s fast asleep, still in her dress from the night before. Her cheek is smooshed into the leather cushion, a bit of drool dripping out of the corner of her mouth. Her lips are chapped, as they normally are, but Ben can’t stop staring at them. He wants to kiss her now, and he wanted to kiss her when she opened the door with that cute little dress on at Maz’s…when she ordered her favorite pasta for him…

…and especially when she was crying her eyes out over what that girl at the restaurant had said about her. 

Ben has always had a bad temper. He’s never had the ability to calmly think things through or gauge a situation in a rational way. A therapist in college once told him to take deep breaths or walk away from a situation to get his bearings before he gave into the temptation to explode; but Ben thought those exercises were bullshit. Why was he spending one-hundred dollars an hour for a stupid shrink to tell him to ‘breathe deeply’? 

Ben has a temper—his mother’s temper and his father’s inability to quell it. 

But somehow when Rey had confessed that she’d been called the ‘r’ word, he didn’t flip out. He didn’t rage—throw a punch in the wall, curse out the manager, or maybe…set the entire restaurant on fire (which is what old Ben would have seriously considered)…

No, he’d just excused himself, picked up his phone and called the restaurant, asking to leave a message for the cook; because his Alpha instincts had told him that this Omega might be different. All the drama of making a scene in the restaurant wouldn’t go over well with Rey. She had already been through enough. 

Ben wants to make her happy—to make it so that that shitty dinner never happened.

This time he has a plan. 

Currently, he’s trying to get himself to push back from his perch in the kitchen and wake her up. He’s afraid that Maz will be furious with him for not bringing her home last night. Ben wants to show that he’s a good mate—a respectful suitor. He would have woken her up the night before, but she just looked so cute passed out on his couch

Ben feels like he’s in a trance. It feels right that she’s here in his den (he shakes his head and corrects himself…his apartment). Every cell in his body protests against letting his future mate (he shakes his head again—potential girlfriend) out of his sight. Just the thought of someone else mating her devastates him. Ben doesn’t want to infantilize Rey by thinking of her as especially vulnerable with her being autistic, but it worries him. 

He sighs. It’s no use now. She’s got him wrapped around her finger. He’s never going to stop thinking about her well-being now. He belongs to her, even without the mating bite. 

A jolt of fear hits him though. The thought of mating her or any Omega is daunting. He doesn’t want to get married or be tied down in any way. A lifetime of shouting matches—arguments over money, career, kids—is something he’s avoided his whole life. He doesn’t want those things holding him back. 

And yet…

As he watches this adorable, sweet Omega sleep on his couch, the idea doesn’t seem so daunting after all. 

Baby steps. He can take this new relationship one step at a time.

“Hmmm…”

Ben comes out of his reverie at the sound of her waking. She pushes up on her hands and looks around the room confused, as if she’s forgotten where she is. Her green eyes are squinting into the sun pouring through the blinds. Her hair, previously half up and curled at the ends, is now a bird's nest, sticking out in all directions. 

She’s so beautiful that it nearly takes his breath away. How could any Alpha have not taken notice of her? Ben is incredibly thankful to Fate for putting her in his path. 

Then her groggy eyes notice him, and she beams. 

“Good Morning, Ben!” She says with a scratchy voice. “How are you? I like your pants.”

He sets his coffee cup aside and looks down at his blue-striped pants. Nothing to write home about, but if she likes them…

“Thank you. How—

—where did you get them? They look really soft. I’d like a pair. Maybe a yellow or purple pair. I don’t like pink. Most Omegas like pink, but I don’t. Maz thinks that’s weird. Do you think that’s weird, Ben?”

Ben wonders if she’s even taken a breath.

“No, I don’t think it’s weird at all. You should like what you like—be yourself.”

She tilts her head. “Just like I can wear pants if I want on our next date? I’d like that much better than my dress. I bought it to please you, but if you say it’s okay, then I’ll dress more casually Alpha.”

Ben feels a familiar tingling in his chest, which tells him that something’s about to happen that rarely does; and it feels just as embarrassing as it did in middle school when it first happened. 

“You can, ugh…yeah you can definitely wear whatever you want on our next…our next date…” he says, rubbing his chest with his hand. Apparently his Alpha loves hearing her call him by his designation because the thrumming ratchets up when she says it again.

“Oh, Alpha thank you! I’m so glad you took me to your apartment. I had the best night! I was nervous because it was my first date ever. May I use the restroom?”

“Um…yeah of course. Go right ahead.”

She smiles and hops off the couch, skipping down the hallway, her stringy hair shifting over her shoulders. 

Before Ben can register what she’s said, she’s back out of the restroom in no time, her hair a little straighter and her dress a bit more flat around her thighs. They aren’t skinny like other Omegas’. When Rey walks Ben sees thick, tan muscle and his knot throbs as he pictures winding his hands around said thighs and wrapping them around his waist. 

He can barely contain himself when he thinks about kissing her, let alone having sex with her. 

But that’s a long way away. Ben is going to court her like she deserves, and he can’t overwhelm himself. It’s hard for him to open himself up to an Omega like this. If he goes too fast he’ll have to end it; and that would be unbearable. 

“I think I better call Maz now,” she informs him, picking her phone up from the coffee table where it’s been charging. Ben mouths to her that he’ll be right back. He heads into the bedroom and takes a five minute shower, before throwing on a nicer shirt and some khakis. If he’s going to see the old lady again she’s going to be pissed that he didn’t take Rey home the night before, so there’s no way he’s gonna show up looking like he doesn’t care. 

When he comes back out into the hallway, he braces himself to see if Rey is upset—if maybe Maz had scolded her for staying the night; but Rey is occupied in front of his fridge with the door wide open. 

She smiles when she notices he’s back. 

“Do you have any freshly squeezed orange juice or pancakes? Pancakes are my favorite, but only the plain kind. I don’t like chocolate chips or blueberries in them.”

“No, I'm sorry Rey,” he says. “I usually just have yogurt or cereal. What did Maz say?”

“Oh! She asked how everything went! I started to tell her all about our date, but she interrupted me and said I should be paying more attention to you.”

“So she wasn’t mad that you spent the night?”

Rey bites her lip and looks down at the floor. Her scent is subdued and practically non-existent. Oh, great. What did he do wrong?

“Ben—I’m not a kid. I’m an adult and I can stay overnight at a boy’s house if I want to.”

He’s mortified. What a miss-step! How could he be so stupid?!

“Oh, no Rey! That’s not what I meant at all! I just felt bad because I thought I was maybe being a bad Alpha. I wanted to do everything right. I wanted to be a gentleman. I’m sorry.”

Her mouth drops a little. “Oh. I thought you were treating me like a kid. I hate when people do that. It makes me feel stupid.” She crosses her arms and faces the stove, her eyes unfocused. 

Shit. 

He walks over to her and touches her arm. “Rey, I swear I wasn’t trying to make you feel like that, and if anyone ever treats you like that, they’ll have to answer to me. I won’t ever let anyone talk to you that way again—especially that girl at the Olive Garden.”

Rey reaches a hand up and starts biting her fingernails. 

“Jennifer is really pretty, isn’t she?” 

Ben supposes the waitress is objectively pretty, even compared with other Omegas. Her makeup was nice and her outfit was sexy, but…Ben isn’t attracted to her at all, and he’s even more repulsed by her behavior. 

“Rey…I hardly even noticed her. You’re far prettier than she is, Omega.”

She smiles a little, a faint burst of pink forming on the apples of her cheeks. Her dimples are slowly making an appearance. “Oh. Okay. I think you’re pretty too—or handsome I suppose? Men aren’t allowed to be pretty are they? But I think you are. Your eyes are like…like Hershey’s chocolate syrup and your nose is very regal. I think you would look very distinguished in a presidential portrait—even more so than President Roosevelt. He was very handsome in his youth, but grew a little tubby as he aged. I don’t think you’ll ever age poorly. You would look just as handsome in your later years as you do now. Although…” she laughs awkwardly “I’m not sure how well I’d look as a First Lady in mine. President Roosevelt’s first wife was rather pretty, but his second left much to be desired. I suppose he loved her, though not as much as his first wife. She died on Valentine’s Day, 1884 after giving birth to their daughter Alice.”

Ben just stares at her…again…because he’s in awe of her. He loves hearing her talk about what she loves, and the fact that she said he was handsome is making him practically shoot into the sky like a rocket because no one says that; in fact quite frequently when he was a kid his mother would tell him that it would be hard for him in the dating world because his features were so ‘off’; and while Ben usually brushed off her negative comments, he found that deep down inside it hurt him more than he realized…

…and the more this Omega compliments him, the more his confidence increases. He’s beginning to see himself in a whole new way, all because of her. 

He smiles and leans back against the counter, crossing his arms. “So…I’m president and you’re my First Lady?” he asks playfully. She finally makes eye contact with him and giggles, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. 

“Oh, well I guess. We would have to be mates first, wouldn’t we? Also, I don’t think I would make a good politician. I can’t really tell a lie, can I? I’m terribly blunt, at least that’s what Maz says. I’m not too blunt, am I Ben?”

He shakes his head. “Not at all,” he says genuinely. “So—do you still want pancakes? Is there anywhere in particular that you want to go?”

She grins with a twinkle in her eye. “Yes—can we go to IHOP?”

“Sure! You can tell me more about your favorite First Ladies,” he says, grabbing his wallet from the table in the entryway. “I’d like to hear more about Teddy Roosevelt’s wives.”

“Oh, good!  I’d love that—but you know Alice Hathaway Lee wasn’t a First Lady because President Roosevelt wasn’t president when they were married. That would have been his second wife, Edith.”

Ben is happy to be corrected. 

*****

He should really be working. He’s been staring at his computer screen far too long without having done anything; but he can’t find it in himself to care much.

Rey is all he thinks about now—every second that ticks by before mid-day is torturous because the climax of his workday is always lunch time when he can go see her. 

After their first date, he’d started bringing her lunch every day. He makes lunch for two now, one for him and one for her. It feels nice—homey. Ben’s never felt so comfortable and relaxed before. He always thought he loved his life alone—didn’t care about courting some dumb, bimbo Omega who would only want him for his knot. 

Strangely, Ben now finds himself in a predicament he didn’t foresee:

He wants to be wanted for his knot. He wants an Omega to beg him for it—to ask him if she’s been good enough for it—and there’s one particular Omega he wants this from—a very shy, innocent one that unintentionally has him in a consistent state of arousal, to the point where Ben considers calling his doctor to up his suppressants. 

Rey: Are you coming to have lunch today Ben? 

Ben: Of course. :)

Rey: Will you be here right at 11:00am?

He always is. He never fails to show up, and always makes sure he’s on time because she doesn’t like to veer off schedule. Ben suspects that has to do with his mother, who’s always a stickler for time. It was nauseating growing up with a formal schedule: every meal at its designated time. That was one thing (maybe the only thing) he and his father bonded over—their shared annoyance over her rigidity. 

Ben: I’ll be right there…not a minute after. Is everything going okay? Everyone being nice to you? 

He’ll kick anyone's ass, especially Poe’s if he’s being a dick. 

Rey: Yes! Everyone loves TR! They think he’s quite amusing, and I do too. Thank you, Ben. 

Ben had given her a Teddy Roosevelt bobble-head doll he found on eBay. It was hard to narrow things down because she has so many collectibles already; but this, she didn’t have. She has it sitting on her desk by her computer monitor and talks about it non-stop to anyone who will listen. 

Ben: you’re welcome! Okay I’ll be over in a few minutes. 

Rey: 🫡

Ben chuckles and locks his computer screen, but he doesn’t have to grab his lunchbox because this time he’s got something special planned—something Rey will never see coming.

He hopes she likes surprises. 

*****

When he steps through the door to his mother’s campaign office, he prepares to be bombarded with an affectionate hug from his Omega. She greets him like this every time he sees her, and he loves the way her scent blooms when she does it…

…but she’s still seated at her desk, and her scent is spiking in a bad way…in a frantic way. 

Poe Dameron is standing over her, tapping her bobble head, whispering something in her ear. 

She’s afraid. Sometimes it’s hard to decipher what Rey is thinking, but Ben can smell her anxiety in the air. 

Then Poe reaches down and curls his fingers over her shoulder, making her wince. She’s wringing her hands together, making them turn red. 

Ben loses it. 

He says nothing as he calmly walks up behind them and lifts Poe off of Rey in one easy movement, as if he’s a baby or a small dog. He throws him back so hard that Poe’s ass hits the thin carpeting, making the Alpha wince. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Solo?!” he bellows, trying to get back on his feet. 

Ben could not give one fuck about Poe. He bends down next to Rey, who’s still wringing her hands desperately, her breaths coming fast. Ben isn’t sure, but it looks like some kind of anxiety attack? 

“Are you okay, Rey?” he asks her softly, careful not to touch her. He doesn’t want to trigger her or make her feel uncomfortable. 

It looks like she’s having trouble speaking, so he stands up and pulls her to her feet, pulling her in for a tight hug. Ben’s been doing as much research as he can on autism and sensory overload. He wonders if giving her a deep pressure hug will ease her anxiety. 

And he’s right. Her heart rate slowly goes back to normal, like a wind-up toy finally coming to a stop. She’s got her eyes closed, her face hidden in his shirt. Ben looks over her head at Poe, who storms off in the direction of Leia’s office. 

Good, because Ben’s gonna take care of this asshole once and for all. 

“Are you okay, Rey?”

She doesn’t look at him—just nods her head against the fabric of his shirt. It doesn’t look like she’s crying, which is good, but she could be trying to hold it in, and she really shouldn’t because she should always feel comfortable being emotional around him. 

“I'm going to go talk to Mom for a second, but we’re still going to have lunch. Just give me five minutes.”

She nods and faces her computer, moving her mouse around, pulling up her time-clock so she can clock out. 

Ben is livid, storming down the hallway, feeling like he’ll murder anyone that even looks at him the wrong way.

Hux walks by and has a snarky look on his face, but for once, the stupid ginger gets the hint and just keeps walking. 

The door to Leia’s office is closed, but that’s not going to stop Ben. He throws it open and slams it behind him, making the frame shake. 

His mother isn’t even affected, just sitting regally behind her desk, her hand under her chin. Ben hates how calm she is. 

“Benjamin, did you hit him?” she asks calmly. 

“You’re fucking right I did. He attacked Rey!”

Poe rolls his eyes. “I attacked her? I was just talking to her about work! I barely even touched her! You can’t act like a wild animal and attack people out of nowhere, Alpha! She’s not even your mate!”

Ben gets into his face and smiles inside as Poe cowers beneath him, feeling the satisfaction of overpowering him take over. 

“You were practically assaulting her—I could smell her anxiety from the moment I came through the door, and I know you could too, Alpha. You crossed the line. Mother, you need to fire him!”

Leia sighs wearily. “I cannot fire him unless Rey actually goes to HR with a complaint.”

Ben is flabbergasted, and Poe looks smug. 

“Mom, you need to go out there and look at your employee. She’s terrified.”

Leia rolls her eyes. “I don’t have time for this. Unless she files a complaint, my hands are tied. Now both of you get out of my office. Poe get back to work and stay away from the front desk please.”

Poe looks victorious, and Ben would love to wipe that stupid smirk off his face. 

Omega needs us. She’s upset. This can be dealt with later. 

His Alpha is right. Rey needs him. 

“I’ll be watching you, Dameron,” he threatens, before leaving the office for the front desk. Bazine is sitting there and Rey is standing next to her, fiddling with the purse strap laying over her chest. 

“Ready to eat?” he says with a forced smile, smelling the air for her mood. She seems better, but not back to normal quite yet. 

She doesn’t meet his eyes when she answers. “Yes, I believe I’m ready. Do you want to go to the breakroom now?”

“Actually, I have a surprise for you. I hope it’s okay.”

“Oh…a surprise? What is it?”

He smiles, holding the door open for her. “You’ll see.”

They drive in silence, Rey clearly depleted from her interaction with Poe, and for a moment Ben wonders if this little lunch is a good idea. Maybe it would have been a good idea to do this another day; but it might make things better too. It’s a risk he’s willing to take. 

He gets nervous as they get closer, and when they finally pull into the parking lot, her eyes widen and she frowns. 

“We’re at Olive Garden?” she asks hesitantly, leaning forward in her seat. Her eyes are scanning the sidewalk nervously. 

“Yeah—I thought we could try our first date again. Is that okay?”

She bites her lip, and Ben knows she’s scared to go in because she thinks Jennifer will be there. 

She won’t be. 

“I don’t think Olive Garden is a good place to go because we already went,” she says, looking everywhere but at Ben.

“Rey?” He waits until she faces him, her eyes cast down. 

“Do you trust me?” he asks her, hoping she’ll say yes. 

She raises her head and looks him in the eye. He opens his hand across the console and she rests her hand there. He squeezes. 

“Yes, Ben. I trust you.”

Chapter Text

Rey’s grip on the leather strap of her purse is tight, her hands sweaty and red, as Ben unbuckles his seatbelt and smiles at her reassuringly. 

There aren’t many cars parked nearby, maybe because it’s lunch time and most people go to Olive Garden for dinner or order in—that’s what Rey thinks, anyway. 

She is extremely nervous because this is completely out of the norm for her. Lunch for her is always the same and that means it’s in the breakroom, at 11:00am sharp, and either involves soup (chicken noodle) or a sandwich (tuna). 

Lately, Ben has become a part of that routine, and at first the idea of sharing her lunch time with him was intimidating—a threat in a way, because what if he comes too late? Or too early? And what if he makes something she doesn’t like, and she has to lie?

Rey can’t lie. She can’t do that thing that other people do where they pretend to like something just to keep from hurting someone’s feelings—and the last person she wants to hurt is Ben. 

Thankfully, everything he’s made her has been perfect. He likes to bring pasta: alfredo, pesto, shrimp scampi, spaghetti—and every meal is homemade too. He even bakes garlic bread and heats it up for her in the toaster oven with butter. 

But nothing compares to the brownies. He makes them with chocolate chips, so they’re double the chocolate—so good that Rey has begged him to bring them every day—and he does. He never really says ‘no’ to her. 

Ben Solo really is the perfect Alpha, and deep down inside, Rey doesn’t think she’ll ever be worthy of him. 

“Rey? Are you okay?”

She’s been standing outside the car, consumed with thoughts of her Alpha. 

“Yes! I’m very well.” She turns from the passenger door and faces him, nervously fiddling with her bag. 

Ben steps closer and reaches his hand out to take hers. Usually, she would hate to hold hands with anyone; but touching Ben is like a balm—like rubbing cool aloe vera on a searing sunburn. Then again, it also feels like an engine being revved up in her body, driving her pulse higher and higher until she feels like she’ll explode like a supernova. 

All these new sensations can be so overwhelming, but despite the anxiety she feels over this new, blossoming relationship, her Omega tells her that this man—this Alpha—is worth it. 

He is the BEST Alpha. 

She feels the smooth skin of his palm as he squeezes her hand and tries to decipher the look on his face. It’s not a happy expression, but it’s not a sad one either…? This is one thing Rey struggles with. Maz is always telling her to maintain eye contact because ‘it’s rude to just stare over someone’s shoulder when speaking to them. They will think you’re ignoring them!’; but making eye contact is hard for Rey to do. It doesn’t come naturally. 

“Listen,” Ben says. “At any point you feel uncomfortable, we can leave. I can take you back to the office, and we can have lunch in the breakroom.” 

Rey shrugs. Her schedule is already messed up. If she goes back to the office now, it wouldn’t make any sense. “I’m fine,” she says, forcing a smile. Why are they here? She hates the unknown—and what if Jennifer is here? Rey doesn’t want to cry in front of Ben again. The humiliation of it would be too much to bear. 

They walk down the sidewalk, the noonday sun shining down on them. It’s a nice day, not a cloud in the sky, and not too hot either. 

Ben opens the front door for her, and she goes inside. His hand is at her back as they walk up to the desk. She really likes that–how he always touches her. It makes her feel grounded. 

Then much to her surprise, she sees Jannah working as the hostess! Jannah never works this shift!

“Hello, Jannah! What are you doing here? This isn’t your normal shift.” 

Jannah grins and winks at Ben. Why? 

“Well, that’s because your Alpha told me that you’d be coming to eat today for lunch! I’ve got your table all ready for you!” 

Ben told Jannah they would be coming? Why would he need to do that? 

Jannah leads them to the back of the restaurant to the large, private room where Rey usually sits to get away from the scents and the noise of the restaurant. Ben takes a seat across from her, but it’s awkward with it being a long table. It’s really meant for families and corporate events. 

“Alpha–can you sit by me, please?” she asks, hoping he won’t reject her–

–but he doesn’t 

“Of course!” He slides his chair out and takes a seat at her right, his bicep only an inch from hers. His scent—so calming and so delicious—enfolds her body like a cocoon. 

“Sorry,” he says, folding his napkin in his lap. “I just figured you might want some space, especially after…well…you know…”

“After what?” Rey asks, trying to meet his eyes with effort. 

He sighs and his scent increases a bit, close to smothering her with comfort. “After the incident with Poe. I hope I didn’t upset you with what I did. I was just…it just made me so…so…angry.”

Ben’s hand is clenched in a tight fist on his thigh, and Rey slips her fingers to rest over his hot skin. She’s not sure how to feel about Poe Dameron. He spends an awful lot of time at her desk throughout the day. He makes jokes, touches her hair and her shoulders, tries to give her hugs–it’s really uncomfortable, and to be honest, she was relieved when Ben showed up to stop it. Poe is getting more and more aggressive with his advances, and it puts her in distress, but she’s worried if she brings it up with Leia she’ll lose her job. 

It’s so hard to keep a job because bosses don’t seem to understand why she acts the way she does, even when she explains it to them. 

So as much as she hates to lie to Ben or downplay her worries, she does it anyway. 

“You don’t have to be concerned for me,” she assures him. “Just because I’m an Omega doesn’t mean I can’t protect myself—and Leia is there to make sure nothing happens.” Besides, Poe doesn’t have any interest in actually mating her. If he did, he would have done it by now. She’s sure of that. 

Ben turns in his seat to face her, and squeezes her hand, his brown eyes urgent with what he says next. 

“Rey, if that ever happens again, tell my mother immediately and call me.” 

His voice has a tinge of command in it, and while Rey is not fond of Alphas using commands on her, she will allow it from Ben. It makes her skin hot and her gland tingle in the best way. 

“Okay,” she says. “I will.” 

Where is the waitress? Rey wonders. Please don’t let it be Jennifer. Why would Ben bring her here if Jennifer was here? 

And then to her surprise, Jyn walks into the room with a set of menus in hand. 

“Jyn! How are you?” Rey asks. “Ben and I went on a date here the other evening, but Jennifer was our waitress. I asked for you, but she said you had the day off.” 

Jyn tilts her head and winces. “I’m sorry, Rey. I had some important errands to run. I’m going to serve you now though. Your boyfriend called in a favor.” She winks at Ben, and once again Rey wonders why everyone is winking at her Alpha. 

Oh, that reminds her!

“Jyn, this is my Alpha, Ben Solo! I work for his mother, Leia Organa. I’m the secretary there.” 

“That’s wonderful, Rey! Dex told me you had a new job. Congratulations!” 

Rey giggles. “Thank you.” Then she wilts because as nice as this lunch may be, it just won’t be the same if Dex is not the cook.

“So Rey, I know what you want. Ben, what would you like? Do you need more time to look at the menu?” Jyn asks. She doesn’t need to use a notepad like Jennifer does. She’s a really good waitress. 

“No, I’ll actually have what Rey is having—the baked parmesan shrimp.” 

“But…is Dex here to make it? He wasn’t here the last time we came. I had to have the alfredo, and it wasn’t as good,” Rey says, still frustrated over the whole ordeal. 

“Oh, he’s here! And he’s already had your pasta ready for you. It should be up in a few minutes! What do you want to drink, Ben?” 

“Same as Rey,” he says, stacking their menus on the table and handing them to Jyn. 

Oh no, he can’t have what Rey is having! That is so embarrassing!

“But Ben, it’s…um…you wouldn’t want the drink I’m getting. It’s stupid,” Rey says, lowering her head. 

“Nothing you drink would be stupid, Rey,” he says. “Nothing you ever do is stupid.” 

She gathers the courage to look into his eyes, and she thinks she sees honesty there. It’s so hard for her to trust people because she can’t always interpret their actions. It’s not easy to see who people truly are until they’ve hurt her—and by then it’s too late. 

But with Ben, well—he saw her have one of her panic attacks and he’s still here. He makes lunch for her everyday and talks to her on the phone every night. He doesn’t seem to be tired of her despite how difficult she must be. 

There are very few people in Rey’s life that she trusts with her authentic self. Ben Solo is one of them now. 

“Okay,” she says, taking a deep breath. “Two Shirley Temples,” she tells Jyn. 

Rey wants to squint her eyes and plug her ears in case Ben will laugh at her, but he’s not. Out of the corner of her eye, she notices him just—staring at her.

“Is there something on my face?” Maybe her makeup is wrong? She usually doesn’t wear any, but she has been lately for Ben. Rose had to help her because she did such a horrible job by herself. 

“No, it’s just…I hope you don’t mind me saying this, Rey, but—you’re beautiful.” 

Now she looks him dead in the eye. He’s laughing at her—surely he’s laughing at her. She recalls her real mother telling her many times as a child that no Alpha would want her because her teeth were too big and her skin too freckled. 

He’s lying. He must be. 

She crosses her arms, leaving his hand empty in his lap. She’s not angry, but hurt. Why would he make fun of her like this? 

“Rey…what did I do wrong?” 

Her arms uncross and she smooths her skirt down her thighs, wiping the sweat off. “I’m not beautiful. I don’t like when people make fun of me.” 

“What?! Rey I’m not making–

–here you are,” Jyn says, setting their drinks on the table. “Lunch is ready. I’ll just go and fetch it.” 

Ben huffs. “Rey, I'm not making fun of you. Why would you ever think that? You know you’re beautiful, don’t you?”

“I–

Rey is in disbelief, so much so that she can barely form a thought, let alone a response. This handsome Alpha said when she stayed at his apartment that she was pretty, but on some level she never really believed it. There have been too many snide remarks made from her past that prevent her from seeing herself as other people see her. 

“No,” she says quietly. “I guess I don’t. Alphas don’t like me. I’m not really pretty like other Omegas.” 

Ben takes her hand back and places it firmly in his. “You’re right. You’re not like other Omegas—because your beauty far surpasses theirs.”

Her jaw drops. All she can do now is stare at the table and feel the warmth bloom in her cheeks. 

Ben Solo thinks I’m beautiful. Handsome, wonderful Ben. Wow. 

She giggles uncomfortably, and shifts her fork around on the table. He hooks his index finger over hers and she smiles. 

Then, a plate of parmesan shrimp is placed in front of her. 

“Guess who!” 

Rey looks up and sees that it’s Dex! 

“Dex!” she cries, leaping out of her chair to embrace him. His meaty arms fold around her and he pats her back. 

When she steps back he tweaks her nose, just like he did when she was a little girl and Maz took her out to eat (Maz learned long ago that her fancy culinary preferences had to take a back seat to what made Rey feel comfortable).                                                        

“How are you, sweetheart?” Dex asks. “So sorry I wasn’t here the other night, but your Alpha told me about the whole thing and wanted to make sure everything was done properly this time.” 

Rey is stunned. “Really?”

“Yes, he arranged the whole thing.” He bends his head close and whispers, “I think he’s a keeper. When is the wedding?” 

Rey bites her lip and shyly looks Ben’s way. His smile is blinding. 

Dex laughs at her awkward smile. “Okay, okay I’ll stop poking fun. You have a good lunch, sweetheart—and next time anything happens to you at my restaurant you let me know, and I’ll take care of it.” 

“I will,” she says, taking her seat again. Once they’re alone again, she asks him: “Did you really do all this for me, Ben?” 

He nods. “Yes. I wanted to make you happy. Did I?” 

“Oh yes,” she says, digging into her pasta. “You did, Ben.” She’s never been so happy. Ben is such a good person. No one has ever treated her so well. 

And Dex’s ‘wedding’ comment has her thinking. 

“I’ve always wanted to marry an Alpha. My parents told me that no Alpha would want me, but you do. Would you want to get married one day, Ben?” 

He pauses his chewing and wipes his mouth slowly with his napkin, his scent flattening. 

“Well—marriage really isn’t something I’ve thought of to be honest. I’m not sure it’s something I’d want to do.” 

Oh. That’s a little disappointing. Rey thought because of all he’d done for her today and because he said she was more beautiful than any other Omega that he would be happy to marry her. 

“Why?” she asks. 

“Because of my parents’ marriage. They were always fighting with each other. It never got physical or anything like that, but there were objects thrown. The yelling used to scare me as a child. I would hide in my bedroom and lock my door, especially when my father came home drunk. He did that a lot. So I wouldn’t want to subject my children to that. I just can’t risk it.” 

This is even worse to Rey. 

“So you don’t want pups either?” she asks, feeling her heart sink because she already knows the answer. 

He shakes his head. “No, I don’t.”

This is the most sad news Rey has ever gotten. Of course pups are something she desires—something she craves more than anything. It’s primal. All Omegas want to have pups because that’s just in their DNA. And it should also be in an Alpha’s to want to give an Omega pups—

—which makes Rey think something is wrong with her. Why wouldn’t Ben want to have pups with her? She would never yell at her kids or fight with him in front of them. She can’t see herself ever having an argument with Ben in the first place, since he’s so wonderful. 

“Rey? Are you feeling okay?” 

She nods morosely and pushes a piece of pasta around her plate. 

“I love pups,” she says. “I’ve always wanted them. I want to be a Mom so badly. I grew up all alone. I don’t want my kids to go through what I did,” Rey tells him. 

“Well—I could change my mind,” Ben says, staring at his plate. “I just need time, Rey. This is hard for me. I never thought I would ever want to date anyone, let alone have pups with them. I hope you can be patient with me.” 

This is still a punch to the gut, but perhaps there’s hope. If she’s convinced him to date, then over time she may be able to bring him around to the idea of marriage and pups. Her Omega hates this though.

He should be pursuing us, not the other way around. We need pups, and he needs to give them to us. 

“Rey?” Ben places his hand over hers on the table. “Please?” 

“Okay,” she says. “I will be patient, Alpha.” 

“Thank you,” he says quietly. “Rey…can I…”

“How was everything?” Jyn interrupts Ben and begins to gather their plates. 

“Very good!” Rey says enthusiastically. “But we have to go back now. I don’t want to be late clocking in at work. My boss wouldn’t be happy.” 

“No problem. You take care Rey. Nice to meet you, Ben!” 

“Ready to go back?” Ben asks, rising from his seat. He offers his hand so she can take it again.

“Yes. I wish I didn’t have to go back to work.” She wants to stay with him all day. She really wishes she could go home with him and maybe cuddle up next to him in a nest, but they aren’t really boyfriend-girlfriend yet. 

“I wish you didn’t have to either,” he says, swinging their arms back and forth. They’re on the sidewalk now, approaching the car. As they make it there, Rey departs from him and places her hand on her door handle.

“Rey…”

There’s some urgency—some anxiety in his tone that makes her perk up immediately. “Yes?” 

He walks around the car and gets close to her, his body just an inch from hers. She bends her neck to look up at him. He looks stressed out. 

“Rey, can…can I kiss you?” 

Her eyes widen, and her breath comes quickly. Does she want him to kiss her? Is that something she can handle right now? It had been a lot to take in—going back to the restaurant where she was called names, changing her daily schedule—but then she thinks about how he called her beautiful–how he set this whole, lovely lunch up just for her. 

“Yes. You can kiss me,” she says with a trembling voice. 

Ben steps closer, this time his stomach touching hers. She can feel the heat from beneath his buttoned-up shirt and smell his wonderful scent getting thicker in the air. 

His fingers trail along her shoulders and his mouth hovers around her temple right before he gently kisses over the little flyaway hairs there. She shivers. 

He tilts her chin up and leans his head down, finally pressing his lips against hers. 

It feels…it feels…good…so good that on the next press she opens her mouth a little, making him moan into it. He tastes like parmesan shrimp and Rey is briefly worried that her mouth tastes like lunch too—but then again does it matter if his is the same? 

Rey has never kissed a boy before—not willingly, anyway. Once a kid a few grades ahead of her—a sixth grader named Tommy Teedo—made her kiss him on the slide when she was in Kindergarten. It was sloppy with spit and he forced his tongue inside her mouth. It was weird. He was always following her around—sniffing her hair—touching her arms. He was an Alpha. 

Ben cradles her head and moves his lips just a little more over hers, and oh it’s ecstasy. His tongue shyly dips into her mouth and searches for hers, and they glide together, making their scents bloom into the air. 

His hands move from her arms down to her waist, where he pulls her body tightly against his. She can feel a hardness pressing against the front of her dress, and all her Omega can chant in her head is knot Alpha knot Alpha knot. 

She has the urge to reach up and delve her fingers into his hair. When she does it’s difficult because he’s so tall, but he grasps her about the waist and picks her up so that her feet are dangling in the air. Her breasts press into his chest, and she can feel his heart thudding rapidly against hers. The space between her legs is warm and throbbing, and there’s slick running down her thighs, but she can’t find it in herself to care. 

Ben Solo—her Alpha—thinks she’s beautiful.

Chapter Text

When Ben is a little boy, he frequently finds himself standing in front of his parents’ wedding photo, mesmerized by the bright smiles on their faces. His mother is wearing a white wedding dress, nothing poofy or gaudy, just straight and simple—typical late seventies fashion. Han is the most dressed Ben has ever seen him, his brown hair hanging over his forehead and his face cleanly shaven (which it frequently wasn’t). They look to Ben like characters right out of a fairytale. 

As an adult, his eyes never rest on the old photo because he can finally see through the facade. His parents weren’t swept away together in some great love affair; in fact, his grandmother once confessed to Ben that the Solos had only married because Leia was pregnant, and it wouldn’t have been appropriate to be pregnant out of wedlock (despite the fact that the sexual revolution had long since passed and the rigidity of the post-war years had subsided). Leia was always quick to tell her friends and acquaintances that Ben came along after her first heat, which was true, but she left out the fact that she was unmarried at the time.

The Solos were attracted to each other, and perhaps at one point they may have been in love, but Ben’s arrival quickly destroyed any affection the Solos had toward each other. He was always seen as the burden. It was never explicitly said to him, but Ben felt it nonetheless. 

He was the intruder to his parents’ happiness…

…until now, of course. Strangely, the Solos have decided that they are now desperately in love, and Ben doesn’t know what’s worse: living with parents on the brink of divorce, or with parents who are to be happily remarried. The prospect of both makes his stomach turn. 

And now, despite the fact that he is a grown adult, he is being dragged by his mother to the same suit shop where Han was fitted for his wedding tux. Now, Ben will be measured for his. 

He stands in front of a tall mirror at the back of the store while a man so ancient he could have been a Civil War veteran (okay maybe not that old, but still…) is bending at Ben’s knees, holding a frayed measuring tape from his ankle to his inseam. 

The man murmurs to himself a bit, seeming to forget Ben is even there, before rising (with great effort) to write the measurements down on an old yellow pad. 

“Mr. Solo, if you don’t mind lifting your chin while I measure the collar…”

Ben follows orders, letting the old geezer step in closer, and the smell—the pungent stench practically seeping out of his clothes—is so ghastly, that Ben has to hold his breath. Why do some old people smell so bad? Elderly Alphas and Omegas never have issues like this, as their glands always smell as fresh as they did when they were young. This man is a Beta, and they do not age well. 

“Mmmhmm…” The employee sets his tape down and writes the last measurement down with a No. 2 pencil and faces an observant Leia, who has been watching the whole process closely. 

“So how long do you think it will take?” she asks. “We’d like to set the date for next Spring—May, preferably.” She’s trying to use her commanding Alpha voice, but she needs to realize that it’s not going to make a difference to this Beta. Leia always expects to get what she wants. She thinks she’s everyone’s supervisor, just as she is in her campaign office. 

“Oh, they should be ready well before then.”

“Excellent.”

Ben shuffles over to where Han is lounging on a leather couch that’s seen better days, his head leaning back, eyes to the ceiling. 

“Are we done?” he groans, raising his arms up for a stretch. The sleeves of his worn blue-jean jacket shift down from his wrists. He’s had it for twenty years. Leia hates it—can’t ever get him to buy new clothes. 

Well, except today. There’s no way he’s getting out of buying a new tux. 

“We’re done.” Leia checks her watch. “It’s five. Why don’t we go out for dinner—since we never see you, Ben.”

“You see me every day,” Ben points out, referring to his lunch visits with Rey. “How much more time can you possibly want?”

They walk out of the store and Leia pulls out her Chanel sunglasses. It’s getting cooler outside—finally. It feels like summer has gone on for a whole miserable year. 

“How many times do you actually come into my office and say hello except to complain about Poe?”

Ben climbs into the backseat of Leia’s Escalade and pulls his phone out to see if Rey has messaged him back. It’s been a couple hours which is weird because she always answers quickly. It concerns him, and with the conversation turning to Poe, his anxiety ratchets up, forcing him to dial her number. 

No answer. 

“Benjamin? Did you hear me?” 

“Yes,” he says sharply, tapping out a text to Rey. “You need to fire him. I’ve told you this.”

Once they get to a red light, Leia twists around to face him. 

“I’ve explained this to you already. I need Poe’s talent. No one else can handle the job…except you of course, but you refuse to do it.”

“I don’t want to talk about it…” he mumbles, his body shifting as his mother drives recklessly over the city’s many potholes. 

Ben : Hi Rey! I hope I’m not being a nuisance. I just want to make sure you’re okay. 

No answer comes, and Ben’s concern increases. 

*****

Dinner is dull. His mother takes them to one of her favorite restaurants—food too expensive for most people, and it’s not even worth the money. He’d much rather go to Olive Garden and at least eat something he knows he’ll like. Ben was raised with an elevated taste in food, but finds it too stuffy as an adult. 

Rey has had a lot to do with it. She’s so wonderfully down to earth; and if she were any other Omega he’d take her out to a restaurant like this, but she isn’t like any other Omega—she’s special. 

He makes a valiant attempt not to check his phone during dinner to give her space. Acting like some kind of controlling chauvinist isn’t going to impress her, and that’s just not the kind of Alpha he is. 

At the end of a very monotonous and expensive meal, Leia suggests they take a stroll down the city boardwalk together. Their shoes clack over the old planks of wood, and Ben takes in the crisp smell of the ocean that’s brought over by a soft wind from the beach. There are twinkle lights and food stands scattered along their path, mid-century lamp posts lighting their way. 

It’s so nice that Ben realizes it would make a great date. He’ll suggest that to Rey the next time they see each other. 

He checks his phone. There’s still no response. 

“What are you back there scowling for?” Leia asks. She’s walking in front of Ben with Han, and they’re holding hands. Gross. 

“Nothing. Just can’t get a hold of Rey.”

Han laughs softly. “I love that girl. She’s a trip. Should have invited her out for dinner, Ben—especially if wedding bells are on the horizon.” He wiggles his bushy gray eyebrows, and Ben blushes. 

Leia’s quick gait slows, her eyes fierce and incredulous. “Han Solo, you can’t be serious! Wedding bells?!”

“That’s all that girl ever talks about when I see her at the office. ‘Did you know Ben took me to Olive Garden twice? Did you know that he gave me a Teddy Roosevelt doll? I want Ben to be my Alpha.” Han chuckles and shakes his head. “It's only a matter of time…”

Leia sticks her nose up into the air and huffs. “Well…Rey is…a nice girl, but…she’s not really…”

Ben lifts his head up quickly at her sarcastic tone, sensing that what she’s about to say will piss him off. 

He’s right.

“She’s just not really… normal, and I don’t think that she would make a good Omega for Ben. I know of several smart Omegas through several mutual acquaintances I have, and they would be thrilled to go out with him.” 

“What do you mean, ‘not normal,’ Mother?” Ben asks, daring her to say what she’s really thinking. 

“Well…you know…the whole autism thing is kind of…well…it’s a lot. She’s not the girl for you. Trust me.”

“No, she’s just not the girl you want dating your son during election season. You’re afraid that Rey will do something to embarrass you,” Ben says, his heart racing fast as his fury grows.

They stop walking and Han rolls his eyes because he’s been in this situation many times when Leia and her son have gotten into it. Best to wait until the storm passes by and pretend he’s invisible. 

“That’s not true, Ben! Not everything is relevant to my career, especially when it comes to you! You’re my son, and I don’t want you to make a terrible mistake! If you mate her, you will be stuck with her forever! There is no going back after you’ve done it. Ask yourself this question: are you truly prepared to spend the rest of your life with her?” 

‘Yes,’ is the answer that immediately pops into his brain, but he knows it’s not how he really feels. He just wants to say anything that will irritate Leia. 

It makes him sad to think that he, in fact, is not ready to have a long-term relationship with Rey. It has nothing to do with her autism—he just doesn’t want to be tied down to anyone. Rey and he are just having fun…feeling things out. And he was honest with her about it too. She would never disrespect him by ignoring his wishes. 

“My relationship is none of your business, Leia. Stay out of it,” he warns her, his glare matching hers. 

She sticks her finger in his face, trying to intimidate him.

“Everything you do is my business.”

He swipes her finger away, and she gasps.

“I’m not a child anymore, and I’m not going to let you treat me like one! And I’m not sure why exactly you’re all of a sudden taking an interest in my personal life. You certainly didn’t give a shit when I was growing up!”

“Lower your voice…” Leia says, as people walking by are starting to take notice. 

“NO! I’m not going to lower my voice! You know it’s true! The only reason you’ve started to take an interest in me now is so that you can look good in front of all your donors and political friends. And as far as Rey goes, you’ll keep her name out of your mouth!”

“HEY! That’s enough!” Han yells, making Ben flinch. 

“Just be honest, Mother,” Ben says, ignoring his father. “I ruined your life just by being born, but you won’t admit it.” 

He stands there and crosses his arms, expecting her to say ‘No, of course not. I would never think that. You’re my son, and I love you. You were wanted.’

But to Ben’s shock, she doesn’t. She just stands there with her mouth open, her eyes locked onto the aged wood below their feet—and the betrayal—the heartbreak Ben feels is so heavy that he immediately feels a lump forming in his throat. 

So it’s true. He really did ruin his mother’s life. His parents would be better without him. He should have never been born. 

His devastation morphs into anger. Ben pulls out his phone and starts to walk quickly away from them, feeling the urge to get as far away as possible before he says something he’ll regret. His Alpha hormones are off the charts, probably because fighting with another Alpha about his Omega has skyrocketed his blood pressure. 

“Where do you think you’re going, Ben?” Leia calls from a few feet behind him. “We’re not through with this conversation!!” 

He ignores her and walks back to the restaurant where he calls an Uber. He’s got to get the fuck away from them as soon as possible. 

As he gets situated in the back of the car, he swallows over the lump in his throat and tries not to cry. He’s not going to let his mother do this to him. He won’t give her the satisfaction. 

Going back to his apartment would be the best course of action, but his Alpha is so distraught that it only thinks one thing will make Ben feel better. 

Rey. 

She still hasn’t answered him, but he doesn’t care. He has the Uber take him to Maz’s apartment. And if she’s not home, he’ll wait there as long as possible for her. He can’t bear to go home yet and climb into bed knowing that his mother wishes he’d never been born. 

*****

When Maz opens the door, a wall of smoke billows up into Ben’s nose, making him sneeze before he can even say hello. 

The old lady is dressed in a tropical mumu with green palms, exoctic parrots and flowers resting over her bosom. Her lips are pink and overdrawn, sweat resting under her nose and on her forehead. Her black mascara is melting a bit from the corners of her eyes, and her blush is right on the apples of her bony cheeks. 

“Well! Ben Solo!” She takes a puff from her cigarette—a long, thin Virginia Slim. “What brings you here?” 

“I’m here to see Rey. Is she home?” he asks, sniffing the air for her scent—listening with ready ears for the sound of her footsteps, but there’s nothing but the TV blaring in the background. 

“She’s not here—went to some museum with a friend today. When that girl goes to a museum, heaven help you if you can get a hold of her. She gets fixated on every little damn thing. Why don’t you have a seat and wait for her.”

Ben is disappointed, but relieved that she’ll let him stay and wait.

Maz’s many golden bracelets on her wrist jingle as she closes the door behind them, and Ben sinks into the couch to see what’s on TV. It’s Gone With The Wind .  He wants to groan, but holds it in. This movie is so long. Is he really going to have to sit here and watch the whole thing with her? 

“Well…what’ll it be? Gin and tonic? Screwdriver? Bloody Mary?” 

Maz stands imperiously over him with her hands on her hips, eyes magnified by her black rimmed glasses.

“Gin and tonic is fine,” he says, relieved that it was offered. Even if the liquor is cheap, he could do with a nice buzz. Especially tonight. 

She comes back with a tray in her hands and sets it down onto the coffee table. She’s poured his drink into a large, glass jar that looks like it was used for pickling in a former life. There’s a black china plate next to it with gold etchings of the Zodiac along the edges—probably another antique of hers. He just hopes she’s washed it. She’s arranged a few graham crackers, grapes, and cheese on the plate, with some deviled eggs resting in the middle. 

Ben sits quietly on the old sofa across from a curious Maz, holding a stale graham cracker in his hand. He tells her when she offers to feed him that he’d just gone out to dinner, but she ignores him. So to be polite, he’s trying to digest his nasty snack until Rey makes her way through the door. 

Maz is resting in her recliner, the leg rest propped up where she wiggles her red-painted toenails. 

“Boy, that Clark Gable,” she says. “Hell of an Alpha in his day. I would have given anything to be an Omega back then.” She shivers. “The things I would do to him.”

Jesus. 

Ben lifts his jar and gulps down half of it, and it’s strong. If he’s going to stay here all night, he needs to be drunk for it, especially if Maz is going to talk about how hot she is for every Alpha she sees.  

Two hours later, Ben finds that he’s actually enjoying himself. He and Maz watch the movie together, the old lady giving her own personal commentary on every scene. 

And the best part is that he’s completely wasted, and that means he doesn’t have to feel anything—not about Poe or his parents and their stupid wedding. His parents who never wanted him. He’s probably the only kid in the whole world that wasn’t wanted. It’s irrational to think that way, but he does regardless. 

“Are you crying?” Maz asks, incredulously. 

His lower lip is trembling like it used to do when he was a little boy, and he feels just as alone and unloved. He wants Rey. He needs her. 

“Shit…” Maz mutters, pushing her leg rest down and throwing an old handkerchief into his lap.

“I’ll pour you another one.” She picks up the empty jar resting between his legs and walks into the kitchen. He wipes his eyes and sniffles. He would be embarrassed about his crying if he wasn’t so drunk.

Then he smells it…her scent getting closer. 

He sits up a little straighter, wiping the condensation from the jar that has wetted his hands onto his khakis (his mother made him wear them for dinner), and hopes he doesn’t look too upset. Hopefully Rey won’t notice. He’s not sure he’s ready to talk about it. 

Just as Maz is leaning over to set Ben’s refreshed drink down, Rey walks inside, her strong gardenia scent filling the room. Ben immediately feels relief.

“Hello, Maz! I…Ben?” 

She walks over to where he’s sitting and Ben realizes he should probably stand up. 

“Hi…” he says, shuffling his feet awkwardly.

“Ben?! You’re here!” she says, running up to hug him. He squeezes her tightly, burrowing his head into her neck by her gland. He scents her there, moving his nose over the swollen red spot. He wants to lick it so badly. He knows it’s the only thing that will calm him down, but he doesn’t want to be disrespectful. 

“He came by for you, sweetheart,” Maz explains. “Says he couldn’t get a hold of you, and I told him when you’re looking at one of those damned art exhibits that you forget anyone else exists.”

Ben lifts his heavy head from her shoulder and wipes his nose. “I’m sorry, Rey. I didn’t mean to bother you with all my calls and texts. I was just worried.” And I need you. I need to be in my Omega’s arms.

“That’s okay, Ben!” she says with a big smile on her face. “My phone battery ran out, and I didn’t have time to check it until now. I’m so glad you’re here! I missed you! I haven’t had dinner yet, have you? I would like to go to Taco Bell this time. I’d really like to have some nachos with my cheese quesadilla. Maz doesn’t like Taco Bell though, but that’s okay because she usually isn’t very hungry for dinner anyway, and…” 

Ben can’t help it when he bursts into tears. All that gin is flowing through him, turning him into a blubbering mess of a man. It basically emasculates him, making him a horrible excuse for an Alpha, but when she asks if he’s had dinner, he’s reminded of his mother’s blank face when he’d asked if he was basically a mistake. 

“Is everything okay, Ben?” she asks, stepping forward shyly, her little purse still draped over her chest. Her eyes aren’t really meeting his, just sort of shifting over his shirt. 

He hides his eyes in his wrists, embarrassed that Maz is seeing him like this. She probably thinks he’s a real joke—not nearly good enough for Rey. Some Rhett Butler he is. 

“It’s nothing,” he says, wiping his face. “I’ve just…had a long night. Sorry.” He gazes at her and gets lost in those pretty hazel eyes, all wide and concerned for him. Her hair is of course half-up as it usually is, and her face is completely bare—not a touch of makeup in sight.

His finger glides along her jawline. 

“Do you know how pretty you are?” Ben has a vision of what their pups would look like, all of them with her garden-like eyes and scents, their personalities just as pure and lovely as their mother’s. “Our pups would be so pretty,” he says in a drunken daze, his eyes scanning her delicate features. He will regret every bit of it in the morning, but for now he just wants to let his inhibitions go for an evening. 

Her face is as red as a tomato as she bites her lower lip. Then she frowns. Oh, no…he hates to see her frown. 

“But Ben, you said at our second date at the Olive Garden that you didn’t want to have pups…remember?”

He wraps his long arms around her back and threads his hands just above her butt, squeezing into her hips. He rests his forehead onto hers and sighs. “Maybe I’ve changed my mind. Maybe you’re the only Omega in the world that’s ever made me want to have pups. You’d never be sad if you got pregnant, would you?” His Mother was devastated when she found out she was pregnant. He just knows it. Would Rey be that way too?

“Oh, no!” she says with certainty. “I would be so happy! I’ve always wanted pups, ever since I was little! I want to be a mom.”

He’s so overwhelmed by her sincere response that squeezes her even tighter. She fiddles with one of his shirt buttons as he hides his face in her neck. He inhales her scent, and it’s like a drug made just for him. 

“Embrace me…my sweet embraceable you…embrace me! You irreplaceable you!”

Maz is floating around the room belting out a tune, a Bloody Mary in one hand and a cigarette in the other, her mumu rippling in the air as she twirls. 

“Just one look at you, My heart grew tipsy in me. You and you alone bring out the gypsy in me.” 

“That’s Judy Garland, Ben,” Rey explains, stepping out of his arms. “She had the most beautiful voice. Did you know that her mother tried to miscarry her when she was pregnant?”

It hits Ben like a ton of bricks, and he can’t help but smile at her bluntness. “No, I didn’t.”

“She had two older sisters and they performed in a vaudeville act together. Her real name was Frances Gumm, which I don’t think is a very pretty name. Judy is much nicer.”

“I agree,” Ben said. “I have to um…use the restroom. I’ll just…” he takes a step forward but almost trips and falls over Maz’s oriental rug.  

Rey grabs his bicep and holds him steady.

“Alpha, are you sick? Do you need to lie down? I can get you a thermometer and some orange juice. I could also make you some chicken noodle soup. We don’t have to order Taco Bell, even though I would really like to.”

Maz stops her dancing and sidles up next to Rey. 

“I think your darling Alpha’s had just a bit too much to drink tonight, honey” she says, voice deep and scratchy. “Why don’t you take him up to your room for a good lie-down. Looks like he’s about to fall on his ass. Lightweight,” Maz mutters. 

Ben isn’t a lightweight! He had…three or four of those cocktails! Anyone would be sloshed if they drank that much. 

“I’ll just be right back!” he announces, before he realizes he has no idea where the bathroom is.

“Here, Alpha. Follow me!”

Rey slowly escorts him up the stairs, her small hand at his back to keep him from falling.

Her bedroom smells like a garden, like Rey, and he’s more than ready to just collapse into her bed and pass out, but he still needs to pee. 

“Here’s my bathroom. I’ll get you some of Pop’s old clothes so you’re comfortable, Alpha.”

While she’s gone, Ben takes care of business, and when he’s done he sits on the toilet, elbows resting on his knees. The room is spinning, and he’s starting to feel a little nauseated.

He uses the counter to push himself up, and rinses his face with some cool sink water.

The bedroom is nice and cool, her bed looking extremely tempting. 

But his nostrils twitch when his bleary eyes move to her closet. 

It’s cracked open about an inch, and Ben finds himself slowly stalking toward it, desperate to inhale more of that flowery, heavenly scent. 

He slides the wooden door to the left and her scent assaults him. There’s a fluffy green comforter on the carpet and a variety of throw pillows lining the walls. 

He collapses inside, grabbing one of the pillows and pressing his nose into it. It’s cool and soft—filled with down, and it’s the most comfortable pillow he’s evenly laid on. He can smell her in the fabric. It’s better than any fabric softener he’s ever bought. 

“Ben? Where are you?”

He grins goofily when he hears her. Rey, he sighs to himself.

She finds him there in the closet, and he’s struggling to keep his eyes open to look at her. 

“What are you doing in here, Ben?”

“Sleeping,” he mumbles. “Smells so good in here.”

“Um…I don’t know. I’m not used to having an Alpha in my nest.” 

Ben notices that she’s doing that thing she does when she’s nervous—wringing her hands roughly over her stomach. 

“Do you…do you want me to leave? I’m sorry, Omega. I shouldn’t have taken liberties, but…I think your nest is perfect.”

Her hands still. “You do?”

“Mmhmm. It’s the best. Can you lay down next to me?”

“I’m sorry, Ben but I don’t think Maz would like that very much. She thinks Omegas should be married before they share their nest, and if I slept with you she would be really upset. I need to stay in my bed.”

If I slept with you. God, how he wants to have sex with her. Not only does she have the most beautiful personality, but the most attractive body, and once again he finds himself thinking about her strong thighs and her plush bottom. He hasn’t touched her there, of course. He’s a gentleman, and Rey deserves the world. She deserves to be handled gently. 

“Please?” he begs her. 

She bites her lip and stares right at him, before giving him a soft ‘yes.’ 

After changing into her pajamas—a large, white t-shirt and gray shorts—she crawls in next to him. She squeaks when he pulls her against his chest, and he sighs over her head. 

“Ben, we get Taco Bell tomorrow, right? I still want to go.”

“Yeah,” he whispers, kissing her forehead. “We can do that. Goodnight Rey.” 

“Goodnight, Alpha.” 

Chapter Text

Rey doesn’t like to be warm. She hates being hot even more. 

So the fact that there’s a huge, sweaty Alpha lying next to her with his large arm wrapped protectively around her waist should make her annoyed…anxious…irritated…

…but it doesn’t.

Because Ben is her Alpha, and unlike other Alphas, his scent isn’t triggering her. She doesn’t feel the urge to claw his eyes out or hers. He’s just…he’s just… perfect. Oh how she wishes he wanted to get married and have pups! But wait! He’d said he wanted pups with her last night, hadn’t he? Surely he meant what he said. Ben doesn’t seem like the kind of person who would lie. He’s always been honest with her, right from the very beginning about how marriage made him feel. Maybe he’s changed his mind! Or perhaps they can just be mates without having to marry…? Rey would still like a wedding ceremony. She doesn’t have anyone to walk her down the aisle, though. Is that something Ben can do with her? Or maybe his father? Han seems nice. He would probably do it. 

And then once they’re married she can finally move out of Maz’s house and live with Ben in his apartment. She doesn’t mind not having a house. As long as she’s with him, it doesn’t matter. It looked big enough to hold a pup or two. 

The hairs on the back of her neck tickle, and she can feel Ben’s warm breaths blowing over her gland. His hand is resting over her chest, pulling her to him. Rey feels like a teddy bear that he’s cuddling. She likes it. 

Tentatively, she reaches her hand up to cover his that’s resting under her neck. His hand is large and warm, and she can feel her heartbeat thump underneath it. She’s never let anyone get this close to her. She hates being touched when she can’t control it; but Ben feels nice. His hand is smooth and comforting. 

When she twists a bit to adjust her head, now resting on his forearm, he grunts and his hand moves down and rests lightly over her breast. 

His fingers squeeze with just the slightest pressure. Oh. That feels…nice. 

He doesn’t do it again, just drifts back off into a deep sleep, his breathing evening back out again. 

Rey wants to turn around and look at him, but she’s afraid he’ll wake up. 

The temptation is too strong. 

Slowly, she uses her elbow to prop herself up and turn into his chest. Her eyes scan his face. There are no lines around his eyes like there are when he’s awake, and his mouth is fuller somehow. It’s moving a little, and his eyebrows shoot up as if he’s talking to someone. He must be having a dream. Rey has never been this close to a boy. She’s definitely never let anyone into her nest. This is her safe space—the place she goes when she’s feeling over-stimulated or sad.

Now an Alpha is in it—a big, sweet Alpha who thinks she’s prettier than any other Omega in the whole world. 

His lips are moving a bit again. She’s so curious to know what he’s dreaming. When he wakes up, she’ll—

BANG

Something hits the closet door hard, making it shake. 

It startles Rey and wakes Ben, whose eyes blink open in confusion. She slides the door open and sees Maz standing in the hallway. She’s got hot pink sponge rollers in her hair with a silk scarf tied over her hairline. Her wrinkled face is covered with a green facemask and her hand is already grasping a Bloody Mary. One of her fancy house shoes is sitting on the floor by the closet door. She must have thrown it. 

“Up and at ‘em, kids! Time for breakfast!”

“Okay Maz!” Rey says. “We’ll be down in a second. We’re still sleepy.”

“Hurry up before it gets cold, kiddo.”

As Maz shuffles away, Rey looks up at Ben, who’s rubbing his squinted eyes. 

“Morning…” he mumbles before letting out a big yawn.

“Good Morning, Ben! How are you?”

He lays his head back down onto the pillow and sighs. “Tired…really hungover. My head hurts.”

“Would you like some Advil? I have some in my bathroom. I imagine you’ll need water too, since it’s likely you’re dehydrated. What kind of liquor did Maz give you? Was it dark or light? Because dark liquors like brandy, tequila, and whiskey contain congeners that tend to produce severe hangovers, whereas clear liquors like vodka and gin cause hangovers less frequently.”

“Um…I’m pretty sure it was gin. God, I feel horrible.”

Poor Alpha. Let’s make him more comfortable. 

Ah! Okay, Rey thinks, grateful for her Omega. That’s very helpful. 

“Then your hangover shouldn’t be as bad,” she tells him. “I will go downstairs and bring breakfast up here, Alpha.”

He whines and pulls her in closer to him, their bodies touching from head to toe. His nose brushes along her gland. “It makes me feel better to scent you. Can we stay here a little longer?”

“Well…I really think you should eat. It would make you feel a lot better.”

“You make me feel better,” he says into her tangled hair. “Thank you for letting me stay the night. I’m sorry I got drunk. I had a bad night.”

“Oh…that’s okay. I’m glad you’re here. I really missed you.

He shuffles his body down to where he’s at her eye level. Rey keeps her eyes on his neck and counts the freckles there…one, two, three…

“I missed you too, Omega.”

Rey feels a warmth that trickles from the top of her head to the soles of her feet when he lifts his head and plants a gentle kiss on her forehead. 

“Ben?”

“Yeah?”

“You said last night that you wanted pups. How many would you like? I think one would be sufficient, but two would fit well in your apartment. There haven’t been a lot of studies on autistic parents, but I think there are many benefits to being a parent with autism. It’s likely our child will have autism too, so my experience will be very useful. I’m good at being organized, and structure is important, especially for young children. I would prefer to breastfeed the baby, but I don’t feel comfortable doing that at the office. There isn’t a breastfeeding room, even though legally there’s supposed to be. I’ve told Leia this, but she always ignores me. And I don’t want to be a strict disciplinarian. I’d prefer not to lock the pups in the closet when they’re bad. My parents kept me in the hallway closet and wrapped me in chicken wire to keep me still, and I have scars under my armpits from the metal. It didn’t teach me anything, and I don’t think it’s reasonable to inflict punishment that isn’t useful. What do you think, Ben?”

Ben’s Adam’s apple bobs. “Rey…where do your parents live?”

“They’re in jail,” Rey tells him. But why is he asking about her parents? Doesn’t he want to talk about pups?

“Which one?” Ben asks. 

“Um…I don’t know. Maz knows, though. I can ask her when we go downstairs.”

Ben cups her head, and his thumb shifts over her cheek. 

“You didn’t deserve that, Rey. You know that…right?”

She shrugs. She doesn’t really think about her parents now. Maz and Pop feel more like her parents than the Palpatines. 

“But it’s over now,” she tells Ben. “Ben, do you still want Taco Bell for lunch?”

He shakes his head. “Yes, but Rey…I want you to really listen to me…what happened to you was not your fault. Don’t ever feel that way. You were just a kid.”

Rey’s kind of getting frustrated. Why does Ben keep bringing this up? She keeps asking him questions and he’s not answering! 

Alpha is concerned about you. He cares about your well-being. Show him how grateful you are. 

Oh! Right. That makes sense. 

“Thank you for being concerned, Ben. I’m very grateful that you care about me.”

Ben sighs. “You’re welcome. Rey…may I kiss you?”

She blushes. “Yes, if you like.”

“Okay, just…just tell me if I trigger you or anything. I want to respect your boundaries.”

“Okay.”

Then she freaks out. She has morning breath! She hasn’t even brushed her teeth! Not only that, but she hasn’t taken a shower in a few days. Most people would think it’s gross, but keeping herself clean is difficult. It’s a major ordeal to pick out clothes, find the right temperature and flow of the water…once she finally gets that down, she has to take on the task of washing her hair and then soaping up her body. By the time she’s clean, she’s already exhausted. Then she has to deal with drying off and getting dressed. 

It’s a lot, and it’s going to be way too much for Ben to handle. 

But he’s so cute and she likes kissing him a lot the first time. Maybe she can just do it with a closed mouth. That seems like an easy solution. And she’ll keep herself at least an inch away from his body. Hopefully her body doesn’t smell too bad. 

He leans over her and kisses her softly, testing the waters a bit. She keeps her mouth closed tightly as he moves his mouth, but…she wants him to just squeeze her against him and kiss her with passion. That’s what she’s used to. She knows what to expect because he did it before.

But she’s so concerned with her breath that she can’t let herself go, and now she’s starting to spiral. She’s got to get out of the nest!

“I’m sorry, Rey! What did I do?” Ben says, as she twists her mouth away. 

“I…I haven’t brushed my teeth. You’re going to be sick if you kiss me.”

Ben just stares for a moment and then chuckles. “Rey, I’m not worried about your morning breath…unless you’re worried about mine.”

“Oh no! I don’t mind at all! I’m sure you taste very good, Alpha, but I won’t.”

“Yes, you will. You always taste and smell good to me.”

“Really?””

He nods. “Really. But it’s like I said. We don’t have to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with.”

“I do want you to kiss me. But can you do it exactly like you did when we were at Olive Garden?”

“I can try. What about it did you like?”

“Can you press me up against you really tightly? And kiss me hard? With your tongue? It’s…the soft kissing that seems to—

His lips cut her off. They’re strong and wet, and oh, it feels so good when he French kisses her. He has morning breath, but she doesn’t care because he tastes like Ben, like Alpha, like mate…

Mate mate mate mate

He grabs her thigh and hooks it over his hip, squeezing her behind, just like he did her breast, and when she gathers her courage, she reaches down and lifts his hand up to her breast.

“Can you give it a squeeze?” she pleads, and he does it. Warmth floods her lower belly and slick starts to slide down her thighs. Ben kisses her like he’s devouring a meal. This is exactly what she likes. 

Alpha is so good. He takes such good care of us.

They’re humping each other like teenagers, Rey letting out high-pitched whines and Ben groaning into her mouth. It feels so good…so good that she starts to…

“BREAKFAST NOW!!!”

Maz’s scratchy voice bellows into the room, and Ben groans at the volume of it. 

“We can skip breakfast if you like, Ben. We can stay in the closet for a little while longer,” Rey says, hoping that he’ll agree because she wants to continue what they were doing. It felt really good. 

“No,” he says. “I should get up. You’re right. Eating might help with the hangover.”

“You can take a shower if you like, Ben. I can give you some of Pop’s old clothes.”

“Actually, that would be great. Do you um…do you want to shower with me?”

“Well…I…” This is absolutely the last thing Rey thought Ben would say. She has no idea how to respond. She can’t shower with him because there’s no room, and she has a routine. It’s so overwhelming. 

He must sense her hesitation, because he quickly backtracks. “You don’t have to! Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, Rey.”

Rey feels really sad. Other women—modern women—would think showering with someone they’re attracted to would be normal; but not Rey. It’s not being naked that bothers her; it’s her autism. Taking a shower alone is a major ordeal. With someone else? It would be a disaster. 

“You can say that Ben. I just can’t shower with you right now. I have a hard time doing that.”

“Of course, Rey. I understand. You’re a lady, and…and you deserve to be treated with the utmost respect, Omega.”

“Well I would like to see you naked, Ben, and I would like you to see me. I’m not really ashamed of my body. It’s just that cleaning takes a lot out of me.”

His cheeks turn pink. Hmm. Hopefully he’s not getting a fever, Rey thinks.

“Oh. I see. Well…I can just wait until I get home.”

“Ben? Thank you. You’re so kind and understanding about my autism.”

“It’s not hard to be kind to you, Rey. You deserve all the kindness in the world.”

*****

As they take a seat at the kitchen table, Maz sets their breakfast in front of them: there are biscuits from the can (dark brown on the top because somehow she always burns them), omelets with undercooked mushrooms and hot sauce, and thick slices of ham. The ham is good. Maz gets it right every time. Rey slices it into squares and makes herself little ham biscuits.

“Kid…you need some meds for that hangover?” Maz asks Ben.

“Yes, please.”

She directs him to the downstairs bathroom and tells him where the over the counter stuff is. 

The phone on the wall lets out a long, loud ring, and Maz walks over to answer it. 

“Hello? Yes, hold on…” she puts her hand over the receiver. “Rey, there's a Leah calling for you…”

“You mean Leia?”

“That’s what I said,” Maz insists, holding the phone out to her. Rey takes it and answers. 

“Hello?”

“Good Morning, Rey. This is Leia. How are you?”

“I’m well, thank you. How did you get this number? I only put Maz down as an emergency contact, but there’s nothing wrong with me, and you have my cell phone number. Did you try to call? I don’t see a missed call on my phone.”

“Oh, I had thought this was your cell. I must have the numbers backward. I’m calling because—

—how was your dinner last night? Ben told me you went out to eat.”

There’s a pause.

“He did? What else did he say?”

“Well, he said that our pups would be very pretty, and I told him this morning that I want to breastfeed them, but Leia if I do have to work I need a room to breastfeed in, and—

“Is Ben over there?”

Just as she’s asking it, Ben walks back into the kitchen.

“Yes…one moment…” Rey says. “Here you go, Ben. It’s your Mom.”

Ben rolls his eyes and gently grabs the phone. Rey sits back down and resumes eating. 

“What do you want, Mother?…That’s ridiculous, you know why I left. Don’t pretend like you don’t know…you get the respect you deserve…I don’t care…she said what?” 

Ben looks over at Rey, who notices that his scent has sharpened a bit. What does that mean? 

He sighs and runs his hand through his hair. “It’s none of your business. And if I don’t pick up the phone, don’t call Rey and bother her…I don’t think this counts as work, Mother…the cabin? Who says I’m going this year anyway?…after you said what you said?…fine!”

Ben hangs the phone up really hard, making it cling and shake against the wall. 

“Sounds like that went well,” Maz says, stirring her celery stick in her drink. 

“Yeah. That’s my mother. Sorry. I don’t know why she called here when she had my number. She must have gotten mad that I wasn’t answering.”

“Maz!” Rey interrupts. “Ben wants to know which jail my parents are in. Where are they now?”

She taps her cigarette over her ashtray and takes an inhale. “State penitentiary on Highway 100. Why do you ask?”

“Just wondering,” Ben says, taking a bite out of his biscuit. Looks like he’s having a hard time chewing. They are as hard as bullets. 

“Listen, Alpha. If you think going down there to straighten them out will help Rey, you got another thing coming. There’s no talking to people like that, hon’.”

“Who says I want to talk to them?” Ben grumbles, finally swallowing his biscuit. “Just curious.”

“Ha! Sure you are! But there is nothing that will change what happened to little Rey. It’s in the past now, and she’s doin’ just fine. Best to let sleeping dogs lie.”

“Oh, yes Ben. I’m doing very well,” Rey assures him. “They are just my biological parents and Maz is my true parent. And I have you, my Alpha. I'm very safe because I know you’ll protect me. It’s likely that the newfound knowledge that your Omega was hurt is triggering the designation part of your brain. Once we mate, that urge should begin to subside—the hormones secreted from the bite will level out your emotions and silence your baser instincts. Your focus will shift from hunter to provider with the addition of pups to our family.”

Everyone at the table is silent except Maz, who begins to chuckle, a spark of amusement flickering in her old eyes. 

“Pups, eh? Listen, that reminds me. Maz Kanata (she points her thumb to her chest) is the biggest supporter of romance—you’ll find no greater ally than myself, BUT—there will be no more nesting together under my roof. I don’t care what you do at your apartment, young man, but here I want things a certain way. My little Omega deserves to be courted properly, and I do not approve of premarital necking…capisce?”

“Sorry, Maz,” Rey says, feeling a little embarrassed. She’s never brought a boy home. None of this has ever happened to her. It’s a whole new world she has to navigate. 

“I apologize, Ms. Kanata,” Ben says, sitting up a little straighter. “Rey is very special to me, and I would never disrespect her or you.”

“It’s alright, kiddo. Now you know! And forget about the Palpatines. No good can come from speaking to them. Do you hear me, young Alpha?”

Rey sees Ben sigh. 

“I hear you,” Ben says. He reaches under the table for Rey’s hand, and she glides her finger over the tiny gland there. Ahhh. She loves his scent. It makes her want to go outside and lie in the grass. Maybe one day they can go to the park and have a picnic!

Maz unfolds her napkin and places it in her lap. “Well! What did your mother want, Ben?”

“Oh…nothing. She was just checking on me. She still wants me to go on our annual family vacation for Christmas, but I told her ‘no.’”

“Where do you usually go?” Maz asks.

“My family has a cabin about an hour from here.”

“Sounds like fun to me. Why not go?”

“It’s a long story,” Ben tells her. 

“Ben, I would like to go!” Rey says. “I’ve never been on vacation before. We always have to stay here because we’re too poor and Maz says her arthritis is bad. But having arthritis shouldn’t be a deterrent. Plenty of people with arthritis lead perfectly normal lives. She just uses it as an excuse to stay home and watch TV.”

Maz chuckles and takes a drag, blowing smoke into the air over the table. “Why not take Rey? Maybe you’ll have a better time with your sweetheart there.”

“My family would just make her miserable. They make me miserable,” Ben grumbles. “Besides…Rey wouldn’t want to spend her holiday with her boss.”

“I wouldn’t mind!” Rey says. “Han seems like a pleasant sort of person, and Leia is simply pragmatic and stoic. I suppose she acts that way because I only see her in an office setting. And she is an Alpha, and studies have shown that Alphas tend to exhibit that behavior. If they possess any primary emotional response, it would be anger, usually involving the protection of a mate or nest. Omegas can be very helpful in stressful situations though. Here…”

She takes his hand into her lap and licks her fingers before smoothing them over the gland by his wrist. 

Ben’s head falls back, and his eyes grow a little hazy. Rey can feel his pulse begin to slow. 

“Maybe you’re right,” he says, a little loopy. “My mother won’t take no for an answer, and…I would love to spend Christmas with you, Rey. Would you like to come with me?”

She nods. “Oh, yes. That would be wonderful.”

Chapter Text

As Ben drives away from the Kanata apartment, soaked in Rey’s intoxicating floral scent, he feels no hesitation in calling his mother back. He will have to let her know that Rey is coming to the cabin for Christmas too. It will not be a request, because it’s the only way Leia is going to get him to come out there. After what she said, she should be thankful he’s speaking to her at all. 

Once he takes a nice, hot shower and brushes his teeth, he sits on his bed, leaning back against the headboard. As he dials, he crosses his bare feet at the ankles, taking a deep breath in to prepare himself for the reaction he’ll get from his mother. It won’t be nice.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Mother,” he says, already hearing a bit of surprise in her tone of voice. He rarely calls her, and after their little tiff over the phone at Maz’s, she’s probably stunned. 

“Look, if you’re just going to be disrespectful, I’ll end this call right now,” she warns him. 

Ben rolls his eyes. “I’m not. I actually have good news. I’ve decided to go to the cabin for Christmas.”

“Good. You should be there. Staying away from family around Christmas is unacceptable, and so was the way you spoke to me earlier on the phone. I think you should apologize.”

Why did Ben think she would be a little more excited? Maybe say something like: ‘Oh I’m so happy you’re coming! It wouldn’t have been the same without you. I love you!’ I’m so sorry for all the things I said to you last night. Of course I wanted you!

He’s just as much of a fool now as he was when he was a kid. 

“Anyway,” he says, ignoring her demand for an apology, “I just wanted to tell you that I’m bringing Rey with me.”

Silence. It seems like an age has passed when she finally responds. 

“Don’t be absurd,” Leia says, laughing at him. “You’re bringing Rey?”

“And what the fuck is wrong with that?” Let her say one more thing about Rey’s autism—one more thing. He’ll never speak to her again. 

Leia lets out a heavy, annoyed sigh, and Ben has the words ready on his tongue: Well in that case I’m done with you forever. Have a nice life!”

“Well…I suppose if you want to invite her I can’t stop you. But only as friends. If you’re not married, I don’t think it’s appropriate for you to share a room.”

Her cadence is sickeningly sweet, and so out of character. Ben is suspicious now. She’s got some plan hatched out, and he has a feeling it’s not going to lead anywhere good.

But he already told Rey she could come. And he wouldn’t disappoint her for the world. 

“That’s fine,” he says, ready to get off the phone and read for a while. “I have to go.”

“Very well.”

The call ends, and Ben tosses his phone onto the comforter. He turns on the TV and let’s The Office play in the background, occasionally looking up when he hears a funny line. 

*****

Rey: Good Morning Ben! I am ready! When will you be leaving your apartment? 

Ben: I’m already five minutes away!

Rey: Excellent! But you really should not be texting and driving, Ben. It’s quite dangerous. You could get into a wreck and injure yourself. 

Ben chuckles as he turns onto Rey’s street. It’s sweet how much she worries about him. It’s odd to have someone in his life that cares about him as much as Rey does. Han is nice—tries to text him every now and then, especially since the big fight they had at dinner a few weeks ago. Of course his mother only focuses on the negative, and she’s been even worse because Ben refuses to answer the phone when she calls. 

But Rey—her concern is always genuine. Ben is the kind of person who is always questioning himself. Is he good enough? Is he just an unwanted mistake and a burden to his family? 

It’s wrong to cling to Rey’s sunny disposition and neverending kindness, but Ben has sequestered himself away in the dark for too long to care. He’s like a flower ready to bloom after a hard frost. 

Once he parks, his intention is to meet her at the apartment door, but she’s already skipping out to the parking lot.

He jumps out and races over to help with her bags. She’s got three—a rolling suitcase, backpack, and cloth bag that says ‘Bull Moose Party’ in big, cartoonish letters. 

“Hi, Ben!” she yells from the sidewalk, pulling her stubborn suitcase over the cracks in the sidewalk. Dear God, he thinks. She’s fucking adorable. A crocheted maroon scarf has been draped around her neck, and upon her head sits a black beret winter hat with two red bows, one decorating the back and the other in the front by her ear. It looks vintage—probably something Maz pulled out of her old wardrobe—and it makes Rey look as pretty as a porcelain doll. 

Which reminds him…

He’s got to check to make sure her present is coming on time. Rey has a new obsession with American girl dolls—it’s not as prevalent as the one she has for Teddy Roosevelt, but it’s on its way there—and that’s on top of her reborn baby projects. 

Ben has no idea how she has the time for so many hobbies. Sometimes he can barely finish a book by the end of the week. 

He checks his phone and sees that yes, the order has shipped and will be at the cabin just in time for Christmas. It’s a big surprise too because it’s Felicity, a doll that hasn’t been sold by the company in a long time. Ben found one in pristine condition on EBay. He hopes it’s the right one. Of course it was supposed to come a week ago, but it’s EBay. Every now and then a seller takes their fucking time. 

Good thing he’s got a backup present. 

“Are you calling Leia to let her know we’re coming?”

Ben looks up and quickly stashes his phone back into his jacket pocket. “No! Just checking on Christmas stuff.”

She tries to lift her bags into the open trunk, but he shoos her away. He’s the Alpha. It’s his privilege. 

Once the trunk closes, Rey grasps his arm, two dark green mittens squeezing over his coat sleeve. “Is it my Christmas gift? Did you order it? When will it be here? I can’t wait to give you your gift. You’ll really like it. I wrapped it and packed it in my backpack. Hopefully the wrapping paper hasn’t torn off. I’m very good at painting but horrible at wrapping presents. Why do you think that is, Ben? You would think wrapping would involv—

He walks her over to the passenger side and holds the door open for her. She murmurs a ‘thank you, Alpha’ and kisses his cheek before continuing her spiel. 

—would involve the same skill set that painting does: agility, concentration, and attention to detail.”

It takes Ben a second to get in the car because the cute little imprint of the kiss on his cheek is a major distraction, but it doesn’t seem to have slowed her down. 

After sitting behind the wheel, he rubs his hands together and blows into them. He just had the heat on in the car, but it’s already gotten chilly inside. He turns the heat back on high. “Sorry. It’ll get warm in here soon.”

She loops her arm through his over the console and smiles up at him. “It’s okay, Alpha. I feel warm sitting close to you like this. May I lay my head on your shoulder? I’m quite sleepy.”

“Sure,” Ben says, smiling widely as he backs the car out of its spot. “I would have brought you breakfast, but I wasn’t sure if you’d eat this early. So do you want to stop and get pancakes? Or maybe go to a drive thru?”

“Oh I think pancakes would be nice, but do we have time? I don’t want to be late. You know Leia thinks it’s very rude when a person is late—well, except for Poe. But she says that’s because he has a lot of pups to take care of and sometimes he has to help his Omega with them. That doesn’t really make sense, though. Omegas typically prefer to see to the raising of the pups themselves. And Alphas are to stay out of the way.”

The mention of Poe makes him grind his teeth together, but whenever Rey utters the word ‘pups’ he gets distracted. 

“Would um…would that mean that if you had pups you would want your Alpha to stay out of the way?” 

She bites her lip and her forehead scrunches, making her hat shift down a bit. “I think whatever makes the pups happier…don’t you, Ben?”

“I think the pups should come first.” He never came first. It’s important that Rey knows how things will be when…

Wait a minute, what is he talking about? He doesn’t want a wife or pups! He’s just now getting used to dating someone. 

Ever since Ben got drunk and said what he said about pups, he hasn’t been able to stop talking about it. It just comes out like word vomit. He actually gets… excited…thinking about being brave enough to have a mate and pups. He can actually be normal like other people. He’ll never tell anyone how he feels, though. They’d just make fun of him for finally being the secret sap they always accuse him of being. 

His phone rings, and he reaches down to pick up, but Rey snatches it out of his hand. 

“I’ll answer! That way you can focus on the road, Alpha.”

“Thank you, sweetheart,” he says, like he’s said it a million times before. 

He stills, and his eyes widen. 

Sweetheart? He’s never called anyone sweetheart before. Even if he had a girlfriend he wouldn’t because it’s totally sappy. Ben is not a sappy person. 

Oh, but he likes calling Rey that. It rolls off his tongue so sweetly. 

He looks over at her and sees that she hasn’t noticed the endearment he let slip. He kind of wishes she had. He wants to talk about how much he likes her—about how much he likes being with her—but it’s hard for him to communicate those kind of things to anyone.

“Hello this is Rey. Oh hi, Leia! I’m well, how are you…oh well he can’t talk right now because he’s driving. He could get into a bad accident. Most people insist that driving is safer than flying, but they are mistaken. Statistics show…oh, okay.” She looks at Ben. “How far away are we, Alpha?”

“An hour. Tell her we just left.” 

“It will be an hour because we just left, but it may be later because Ben is going to buy me pancakes for breakfast. I’m not sure where the nearest IHOP is, so there may be quite a detour, but…oh…right…just a moment…” Ben…your mom says she’s having breakfast made at the cabin, and that she expects us to be there in exactly one hour with no delay.”

“One second,” he tells Rey, connecting his phone to the Bluetooth in his car. “We’re going to IHOP. We’ll get there when we get there!”

“Benjamin, I told you that if you’re coming on this trip, you will follow the schedule. I had my chef make us a nice breakfast, and you’re already ruining it! Why can’t you just be a nice son who wants to please his mother? Why did I get stuck with such a brat? Don’t be late, and I mean it.”

Leia ends the call, and Ben glances over at the quiet Omega in his passenger seat. Her face is downcast and she twists her gloved hands that are resting in her lap. 

Her scent is changing from bright, clean gardenia to something dull and musty, like old flowers that have been sitting in a vase for too long. 

His Alpha is on high alert. What did he do??

Oh no. Maybe she’s scared from the yelling. Shit, what if her parents used to yell at her, and it frightens her?! What if she thinks he’s a threat? 

“Rey, I’m so sorry! I won’t raise my voice again, and I pro—

“I don’t like the way Leia speaks to you. I don’t think it’s very nice.”

She shrugs and keeps her eyes down. 

“You’re not angry with me, are you?” he asks in a near state of panic. 

Her hazel eyes look up and Ben sees something new there—a Rey that has been hidden from him. 

A ferocious Rey. 

“I am not angry with you, Alpha. I am angry at her. What right has she to be so rude? It is true that Alpha women are not fit to be parents. It is simply in their biology. And one cannot blame them for it, but you are her pup.”

Ben doesn’t really understand it when his face heats up. Maybe he’s a little embarrassed that his mother emasculates him so much. She never treats him like an Alpha. There is no respect for his designation whatsoever. And he doesn’t want his Omega to defend him. He’s his own man, and he can fix it. 

He takes her hand and squeezes it. “You don’t have to defend me. I can handle it.”

She frowns and yanks off her glove, lifting his hand to rub her cheeks over his gland by his wrist. She sniffs and licks and kisses it, and Ben senses that she’s doing it for her own comfort. 

He wraps his arm around her and pulls her closer, with the other hand still on the wheel. He kisses the top of her head. “It’s okay, Omega. It’s okay.”

*****

The drive has been so relaxing. Aside from his mother’s phone call, Ben has already had the best vacation he’s ever been on—all because Rey is with him.

Currently she’s shoving a piece of pancake into her mouth, and there’s syrup dripping over her bottom lip. 

They stop at IHOP, but don’t go in and sit down (as Ben had planned) because Rey’s reaction to Leia’s tirade was concerning. He doesn’t want to risk another argument with his mother that will make Rey upset. 

Now they’re driving and eating, but Rey will not let him feed himself. It’s far too dangerous, she insists. So she takes turns feeding him and herself. 

“I wonder what breakfast your mother is making,” Rey says, chewing her food. She stabs a piece of pancake with a plastic fork and lifts it to his mouth. “Open, Alpha!”

He follows orders, and she gently slips it into his mouth. As he closes it, he looks over at her and feels a burst of affection at the doting look on her face. There’s syrup on her chin and tiny bits of pancake on her cheek. Her cheeks are pink and she still has that really cute hat on.

He has to kiss her. He just has to. 

And thankfully, they’re approaching the long, winding driveway that leads up to the family cabin. The Solos will be waiting outside for them, but he wants a little privacy with his Omega first. 

So he stops in the middle of the driveway and puts the car in park. 

“Ben? What’s wrong? Why are we st—

He takes off his seatbelt and twists around to face her, cupping her face as he plants a kiss on her sticky lips. 

At first she stills, and shit, Ben shouldn’t have done this. Rey doesn’t like anything unexpected. It makes her nervous. He should have known better than to be so impetuous. 

But when he tilts his mouth just a tad to the right, she devours him. Her warm, wet tongue slides into his mouth, and Ben feels his cock swell against his jean zipper. 

Her scent is dizzying.

“You’re so pretty, Omega,” he whispers between kisses. “You feed me so well….you make sure I’m safe…”

She doesn’t really respond, and Ben doesn’t give her a chance, because he can’t take his lips off of her. 

If only they had the cabin to themselves. If only…

“AHHHHHHHHH”

They both jump at the sound of a shrill scream, and Ben curses as his head hits the roof of the car. 

What the fuck was that?!

He hears a thump on his driver’s side window, and there’s a kid standing there sticking his tongue out at him. He has tan skin and curly hair. 

“Alpha?”

“Stay in the car, Omega,” Ben says. “This is where it’s safe. I’ll be right back.”

“Okay! I’ll wait right here for you. I’ll be good.”

Just for saying that, he wants to kiss her again, but just as he’s considering leaning back down to do so, a snowball hits him on the back of his head. 

He slams the door shut and sees the same boy standing there with a goofy grin on his face. “Gotcha!! Ha!!!!!”

Ben chases the little brat up the driveway, huffing and puffing in the cold air. He turns around to check on Rey and freezes. 

It’s Poe Dameron—Poe fucking Dameron—and he’s leaning over the passenger door flashing his pearly white teeth, saying something to Rey. 

Ben smells it—his Omega’s scent is spiking in a dangerous way. 

Ben runs over to where Poe is standing and as he approaches he slows down and inserts himself between his Omega and the threatening Alpha. 

“Hey, Benny! Bet you didn’t expect to see me here! Merry Christmas!”

Chapter Text

Rey hates noise—especially what she would deem unnecessary noise—and frankly she thought (perhaps naively?) that she and Ben would have a nice, quiet holiday at his family’s cabin. After all, the drive had been rather pleasant. Ben let her pick whatever she wanted to listen to on the radio, bought her favorite breakfast food, and kissed her—a lot. And that was probably her favorite part. She always thought she’d be scared to kiss a boy. Kissing involves a lot of steps, like—when is the appropriate time to kiss? Who kisses first? Where do your hands go? What if your Alpha is taller than you and you can’t reach his lips? 

But Ben seems to know exactly how to navigate all of this stuff. He feels like her lighthouse shining over a dark coast and she, a little ship rolling over dark, stormy waters. Or is he like a warm blanket on a cold day? When in his arms, she feels the same warmth and safety she does when she’s sick with a bad cold and Maz puts her to bed with one of her heavy quilts and a hot bowl of chicken noodle soup. 

He makes her feel…normal.

She sighs, smiling to herself. She wants to cuddle more with Alpha right now, but he is a bit preoccupied.

She sits in the passenger seat while her Alpha has a very tense discussion with Poe Dameron. Her Omega is on edge. She does not like that Alpha—at all.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Dameron?” she hears Ben growl, his broad back blocking the window. Rey wrings her hands over her lap and pulls out her phone, pulling up her favorite playlist. Perhaps if she puts her headphones on she can calm her nerves.

But Ben and Poe’s scents are spiking in the air, swirling like a group of dark, rolling clouds, and while Rey is not so much affected by Ben’s scent, Poe’s is suffocating.

“Chill out, Ben. Your mother invited me! Thought it might be nice to give the kids a little holiday fun, since they’re always stuck at the house with my busy schedule.”

“So Kaydel is here?” Ben asks, voice still an octave away from a growl. 

“Well, yeah…she is my Omega.”

Ben crosses his arms. “You have some nerve, Dameron.”

Poe crosses his arms as well. “Yeah? Why do you say that?”

“You know why. Just stay away from Rey.”

Ben’s scent is so strong it’s clouding the air, but Poe’s is just as strong, like…like murky swamp water, and Rey’s senses are completely overwhelmed. She can feel an all too familiar wave of anxiety roiling inside her. 

Oh no. Not here with Ben’s family! Not now!

Poe scratches his chin. “It’s gonna be kind of hard to do that in such close quarters.”

Rey quickly fishes her facemask out of her bag and places it on to block out the smell. Tears are already leaking from her eyes when she shoves her headphones into her ears and with shaking hands tries to pull up her playlist. 

The smells…the noise…it’s all so bad that she cranks the music up on its highest setting and holds her hands over her ears. She needs to go into her closet. She needs it…she needs it! 

The first song isn’t working. Maybe it’s too soft and quiet. She needs something a little louder to block out the voices, so she chooses “Meet Me in St. Louis” and cranks it up. Judy Garland's voice always helps. It’s so powerful—so loud that it seems to cocoon Rey, blocking out everything else. 

It feels as if she might be getting better when a big thump hits the windshield—a snowball from one of the kids, and she wails loudly. 

She just wants to go home. She just wants to go home!

“Rey?”

She thinks she hears her name, but it’s muffled under the music. Then a pair of fingers brush over her forehead and the smell of fresh dew brushes under her nose. 

Alpha.

She takes her headphones off, hands still shaking, and sees Ben, sweet, handsome Ben, looking down at her.

So embarrassing—already she is having another meltdown in front of him. He’ll break up with her now for sure. She’s just a stupid burden. 

“Rey? It’s okay. Shhhh. It’s okay. He’s gone now,” Ben assures her, stroking the fly aways framing her face. 

“What’s wrong?”

Rey is so out of it, it’s a shock at first to see Leia lording over her behind Ben, looking (Rey thinks) a little annoyed. She certainly doesn’t look happy to see her. 

“Just go inside, Mom,” Ben says. “You’re crowding her. Give her space.”

“Fine” she huffs. “But hurry up! We have guests that have been waiting to eat because somebody had to stop at IHOP.”

Oh. Is Leia mad at Rey for wanting IHOP? Rey didn’t really think it was a big deal. Maybe she and Ben should have just driven straight here. Has Rey ruined the vacation? 

“You’re cold, Omega. Take my hand,” Ben says, and Rey obeys. He gently helps her up out of the car and then pulls her against him, squeezing her tightly—just like she likes. 

“I’m sorry,” he says over her head. “I didn’t know he would be here. Mom didn’t say a word about it. We can go. I’ll take you anywhere you want to go, Rey. We can go to a museum or to a restaurant…anything you want.”

“No, it’s…it’s okay Ben. I’m sorry. It was just a lot of triggers at…at once. I don’t want to be…to be a disappointment.”

Ben unwraps his hold on her and bends down to look her in the eyes. He glides his fingers along the cloth straps of the mask behind her ears. 

“May I take this off?”

She nods. It’s safe now because Poe and all the kids have gone inside. 

He gently takes the mask off and places it in his pocket, then cups her wet cheeks. 

“Rey, you’re never a disappointment. I’m the disappointment. It’s my fault things have already gone so poorly. I should have known he would be here. I don’t want to see you upset. Just tell me where you want to go, and we’ll go.”

Rey really, really just wants to go home and fall into her nest until she feels normal again. But she also doesn’t want Ben to break up with her. He must be so tired of dealing with her autism. He could have any normal, beautiful girl he wants. He’s just wasting his time with her. 

But she doesn’t want to let him go just yet. Maybe during this trip, she can just pretend to be normal. She’ll be good for him. He won’t be ashamed of her.

“It’s okay, Ben. I feel much better. We can go inside now.”

“Are you sure?” he asks.

“Yes. I just want to be with you.”

He smiles and touches his forehead to hers, closing his eyes. “I just want to be with you too, Omega. May I kiss you? I’m sorry I did it without permission before.”

“Yes,” she says softly. “You can always kiss me, Ben. You don’t need to ask. You’re my Alpha.”

He tips her chin up and looks deeply into her eyes. “That’s right,” he says with surety. “I am.”

And then he pulls her close and presses his lips to hers. She wraps her arms around his neck and feels lighter than air—as if she’s a character in one of Maz’s old Hollywood films. 

“Hey lovebirds! It’s chilly out here! Why don’t you come inside before your lips get stuck together?”

Rey, a little loopy from her Alpha’s kiss, smiles shyly at Ben’s father, who’s standing in a jean jacket with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. 

“Actually, Mr. Solo it’s not cold enough for something like that. If we got frostbite, it would have to be at least thirty-one degrees or below, and my phone said it was only thirty-eight.”

Ben is still looking at her, his brown eyes scanning her face. Rey can’t quite tell what he’s thinking. Hopefully, nothing bad. 

Han walks up and pats Ben on the back. “Hey, kid. Tell me you got your old man some pancakes. I’m not eating that fancy shit your mother laid out.”

“Sorry, Mr. Solo. We ate all the pancakes. They were very good,” Rey informs him. 

Han chuckles. “Damn. Maybe we can scrounge something up in the kitchen. Let’s go before your mother puts me in the doghouse again,” he says to Ben, throwing his cigarette into a nearby snow bank. 

As he leads them to the porch, Ben puts his arm around her shoulders and suddenly halts. 

“Ben? Why have we stopped?” 

His chest rises and falls. “I just…I can’t go in there like this.”

Rey is confused. “Like what?”

“Rey. I know this is asking a lot. You might even say it’s inappropriate, but I’m wondering if you’ll let me do it just this once.”

Rey tilts her head curiously. “Do what?”

He steps closer. “Rey, can I scent you?”

Oh! That’s what he wants? But that’s so easy! They’ve done that so many times before!

“Of course, Alpha! Here…” she pulls off her mitten and grabs his hand but he takes it back. 

Alpha?

“No, I mean, yes that would be good but I meant your neck.”

“My neck gland? Oh, well…”

He holds up his hands in front of her. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. Like I said, it was inappropriate to even think it.”

Is Rey bothered by his request? Perhaps if this were another Alpha she would be, but…this is Ben, and if she’s ever uncomfortable she knows she can tell him and he’ll be nothing but kind and understanding. He has been from the very beginning. 

“You can do it, Ben. I’d like you to.” She really would. It would make her feel much safer being doused in his scent when there is another young Alpha present. 

“Just this once,” he says, as Rey pulls her sweater aside, exposing her gland. She can practically feel it throbbing under his stare, swelling and blooming her scent into the air. She wants him to touch it...so much.

And then…he does it. 

He bends down and smells her, his long nose shifting back and forth over the spot, and then he licks her with one long, even lick and she trembles in his arms. 

Having this Alpha…her Alpha…claim her like this…it’s…it’s everything.

It feels as if at that moment they are both the same person…two hearts beating as one…Alpha and Omega…

It’s primal and heady, and Rey feels the same urge—to lick him until she’s dizzy with it, but then…

She feels it…a stream of warm slick drip into her underwear, which means soon it will get even worse. Her heat isn’t due for a few months, but lately since she’s had so much contact with Ben, it’s been happening a lot more frequently. 

But stupid her, she didn’t think to put her slick underwear on before they left. She’ll have to do it the minute they get inside. Thankfully she packed a pair. 

Ben wraps his arm back around her, and as he steps inside, Rey can hear a lot of commotion coming from a room nearby—people laughing and silverware clanging together—but she only has eyes for her Alpha. 

“Well…hello, there.”

The scent of orange blossoms fills the room, and Rey’s Omega completely takes over. 

She steps in front of her Alpha and abruptly backs him against the wall behind them. 

This woman is unmated. An unmated Omega will be on this vacation with them. And she could take Ben away from Rey. 

“Goodness! I’m sorry,” Leia says, waking into the room. “This is Tahiri!”

The girl—tall, skinny, and blonde—steps up to them and holds out her hand. “It’s nice to meet you, both. Mrs. Organa was generous enough to let me tag along. She’s so kind. I mean, I only did just start working for her.”

“No you don’t,” Rey said. “I work for Leia at the front desk, and it’s my job to send all new hires to her office for their interviews. I’ve never done that for you.”

The girl turns to Leia. “But…I’m confused…I thought that—

—now, now—we’ll have time to chat about work later. Let’s go ahead and have a seat in the dining room and have some breakfast.” Leia glares at Ben. “God knows we’ve been waiting long enough.”

Rey is at a loss. Who is this girl? And why has Rey never seen her at the office?

Chapter Text

Ben watches his mother and Tahiri (whoever the fuck she is) walk into the dining room, and he lets out a sigh. Why on earth did his mother invite her? Aren’t there enough scents as it is? 

He’s still crowded against the wall, with Rey blocking him. She smells extremely fragrant. In fact, it’s so strong that Ben falls into a round of sneezes that never seems to end. 

“Rey??”

Her body is completely still—rigid, even. He places his hand on her shoulder and she relaxes a little, but not by much. 

“Omega? What’s wrong?” 

It must be calling her by designation that makes her turn around and face him. Her face, always so soft and open, is hard, her lips forming a thin line. Her cheeks are pink from the chill of the outside air—or maybe she’s hot? It’s burning up in the cabin. Leia has gone completely overboard. It’s not like they’re in a blizzard. 

Ben steps closer, but Rey suddenly pushes him back against the wall, making him wince a little. It doesn’t hurt—it’s more like a surprise. 

“Rey…are you sick? Are you being triggered? Is there anything I can do?” 

Her hands are on his chest, still pressing, but not too hard. Her eyes are unfocused. 

Ben decides to make his voice a little deeper. He doesn’t want to command her, but maybe if there’s a hint of a command, she’ll wake up from whatever catatonic state she’s in. 

“Omega.” 

Suddenly her hazel eyes snap up. It kind of reminds Ben of a hypnotist that snaps his fingers and wakes their patient up. It’s quick and a little odd—like she took something that made her zone out. 

“Yes, Alpha?” Rey asks. So rarely does Rey look Ben in the eye, that when she does, it takes his breath away. Her green orbs pierce into his brown, her breathing even and focused. 

Focused on Alpha. 

“Are you feeling okay? You’re not sick are you?” He puts the back of his hand on her forehead, and wow—it is a little warm. Maybe she just needs to take her jacket off. 

“I’m very well, Alpha. Do you require anything?” she asks in a small voice. 

“No, not at all,” he says, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear. She flinches a little. 

Ben shakes his head slowly. “I’m worried about you.” Ben has never seen her act like this. It’s alarming. She’s just had a major meltdown and now she’s got to deal with a lot of people and scents at one time. Her eyes are still watery and her cheeks damp from crying. She looks completely spent. 

“Here, let me take your jacket,” Ben says. He turns her back around and helps her shrug out of it. “I’ll hang it up in the hall closet.”

Rey’s eyes light up, and she smiles. Okay. She seems a little more lucid now. 

“Oh no, let me, Alpha! I want to take care of you. You’ve been so nice to bring me here with your family. It’s the least I can do.” 

“Oh. Um. Okay. It’s at the end of the hallway,” he says, pointing behind them.

She smiles and shuffles down the hall. 

Han peeks his gray head into the room. “Son…get in here before your mother explodes.”

Ben rolls his eyes. “One sec. Rey is hanging up our coats.” 

“Why is she doing that if you’re the Alpha? Can’t you be a gentleman? Jesus…have I taught you nothing?”

“You weren’t around to teach me anything,” Ben points out. Han ignores the snide comment and goes back into the dining room. Whatever. He doesn’t know Rey and Ben’s relationship. He needs to mind his own business. 

Where is Rey? It shouldn’t take this long to hang up a coat. 

He looks down the hallway. It’s pretty dark, so he turns on the light. 

She’s standing in front of the hall closet, coats still folded over her arm. She’s just—staring at it. 

Ben places his hand at her back. “What is it, Rey? Here—do you need some help?” 

She nods a little, and he takes them from her, hanging them up. It’s a tiny closet—only big enough for jackets and not much else. Not exactly a closet an Omega would be interested in. He’s not sure why Rey is so taken with it. Odd. Her scent is musty again like it was in the car earlier.

He reaches out and takes her hand. “Come on. Let’s go eat.” 

“We already ate,” she tells him. She doesn’t really sound annoyed, but then again Ben can’t really tell. Sometimes Rey is very direct, but she doesn’t mean to be short. 

“You don’t have to if you’re full. You can just relax. Mom always has mimosas for breakfast. I’ll get you one.” 

She links her arm through his. “I would prefer we sit by the fire.”

She walks around the large, leather couch, running her hand along the back of it. She fluffs the pillows up a bit— paces around it a couple times before finally taking a seat. She puts a pillow on her lap and sighs. 

Okay. Whatever his sweetheart wants. She’s his sweetheart now—has been ever since he called her that in the car (and probably for much longer). 

“I would like a blanket. I’m cold,” she informs him. 

Ben grabs the fuzzy throw blanket from the couch across from Rey’s and drapes it over her. 

“I need it scented,” she says. 

Okay. She’s the boss. Ben is actually loving this. His Alpha instincts are kicking into gear. 

Nice and warm. Nice and warm and ready for pups.

Ben shakes his head. What the fuck was that thought? 

He rubs the blanket over the gland at his neck and lays it back over her. 

Ben can’t help but be a little disappointed. Sure, he’s not exactly looking forward to dealing with his relatives, but this is a big first step for him. He’s never been in a relationship, and he’s proud to have Rey on his arm. She’s smart, beautiful, kind—all the things his family never thought he would get—and he would like to bring her into the dining room and introduce her to everyone.

But then he looks at her—the way her fly-away hairs curl around her forehead—the flames of the fire lighting up her hazel eyes—and the small smile on her face as she rubs the soft edges of the blanket over her wrist gland—and he decides he doesn’t care. And now he realizes he's been a complete moron because he could have just refused his mother and taken Rey somewhere else for Christmas—somewhere they could actually be alone. 

“Ben? Does your mother have any good books here? I don’t see a bookshelf anywhere. I have some on my kindle but I don’t like reading on electronics. It really hurts my eyes, and I forgot to bring my copy of Invisible Man.”

It’s then that Han comes into the room with a plate of crepes and a cup of coffee. He sinks into the chair by the fireplace and sticks his fork into a blueberry. It’s only a matter of time before Leia comes in to scold him. He’s not allowed to eat anywhere other than the dining room (nor is anyone else). 

“Have you seen Abbott and Costello Meet The Invisible Man? Classic,” he says, joining in on the conversation.

“Yes! I have!” Rey says, perking up. “Maz has watched all the Abbott and Costello films in front of me. But you see Mr. Solo, I’m not referring to the same Invisible Man that you are. I was referring to the book by Ralph Ellison. Have you read it?”

Han chuckled. “I’m not much of a reader. Your boyfriend is though,” he says, winking at Ben. “Always loved sitting in his room reading his dorky books.”

“How would you know?” Ben grumbles under his breath. He doesn’t want to get into a fight in front of Rey. She’s been through enough already. 

Rey looks over and smiles at Ben. “Oh, yes. Ben is an avid reader, just like I am. I’ve given him some of my books, but sometimes he doesn’t understand them. That’s okay though, because I’m happy to explain. He didn’t even know what ‘I yam what I am,’” means,” she says with a giggle. 

“You know…I could go for some yams right now. Anything but this fancy French stuff,” Han says. He points his fork at Rey. “Next time you go to IHOP, you invite me.”

“I would be happy to!” Rey says. 

Han chuckles and sips his coffee. That reminds Ben…. 

“I’ll be back—gonna get you something to drink.”

Rey snuggles down into her little hole in the couch and smiles. “Thank you, Alpha.”

“Of course.” He bends down and kisses her forehead. For a second he almost apologizes because he doesn’t want to do things without asking for permission, but then he remembers that Rey had said he could kiss her whenever he wants. 

Ben is hesitant to leave her alone, but Poe and his spawn are in the dining room—as well as the unmated Omega, Tahiri. No threat from either side, since they’re surrounded by people. And Han is there to watch her. She seems to be calm, judging by her scent. 

As an Alpha, he should be able to tell just how his Omega is feeling by smelling her; but Rey is an anomaly. He never knows what will trigger her. Today was the worst meltdown she’d had in front of him. Ben had no idea that the smell of two fighting Alphas could be so overwhelming for her. 

What he’d like to do is ask her to list out all of her possible triggers so that he can be prepared next time. It’s his job as her Alpha to keep her calm and happy—and she’s Rey—the most lovely, sweet girl he’s ever met. Anyone who upsets her is the enemy, and Ben certainly has plenty to choose from at this stupid family get-together. 

It’s bad enough that Poe is here—fucking Poe with his bullshit. He’s a threat, and he needs to be taken down several pegs. Of course Ben can’t do that because despite the raised level of hormones wafting in the air, everyone has to remain civilized. 

But if anyone screws with Rey, Ben isn’t going to care about being civilized. Not for one second. 

Ben walks into the dining room. Looks like everyone is busy chatting and eating. Poe’s children are whining about how they want more orange juice. Kaydel looks tired and sad. 

Tahiri is making heart eyes at Ben. 

Yeah. He’s got to get out of there. Rey had the right idea. 

“Well, look who it is! Late as always!” 

Chewie walks over and wraps his big arms around Ben and practically lifts him in the air, the same way he did when he was a kid. Kind of embarrassing in front of everyone, but no one is going to tell Chewie to chill. He’d just laugh and keep doing it. He pats Ben’s back so hard that Ben nearly chokes. 

“I’m not late. I told Mom we were making a stop. Who has a schedule on vacation anyway?” Ben asks. 

Chewie’s girlfriend Peli hugs him. “Well, we wouldn’t if we were out by the lake at our cabin, but you know your mother. She’s a little OCD.”

“She doesn’t have OCD. She’s just has a stick up her…”

“Ben…” Chewie says, voice laced with a playful edge. “Leave your poor mother alone. She means well.”

“We’ll see,” Ben says. “Hey does Mom has mimosas poured anywhere?” 

“Already getting started? They’re on the sideboard. Where’s your girl? I want to meet her!” Peli says. 

“She’s in the living room with Dad. Excuse me…”

Ben would like to tell her to stay out of there because she can't be overstimulated, but he can’t exactly stop her. What reason would he give? He isn’t going to tell them Rey is autistic because it doesn’t seem like any of their business. Ben doesn’t know what the ‘rules’ are when it comes to stuff like that. He really needs to have that conversation with Rey. 

He grabs two mimosas off the side table and sees that Peli and Chewie have thankfully taken their seats at the table. 

Ben locks eyes with Poe, who is smiling at him. 

He better fucking stay away from Rey. Ben isn’t above torture—maybe a little maiming too. 

Poor Kaydel. Her brown eyes shift between the two men wearily. There are large circles under her eyes and her sweater has a stain on it. She’s an absolute mess. She reminds Ben of a stereotypical 1950s housewife. She puts up with Poe’s bullshit because she has to. She deserves so much better. 

Ben scans the room and his pulse quickens when he doesn’t see his mother. That can only mean one thing…

He quickly makes his way back into the living room, almost spilling the mimosas. 

Han is chuckling at something Rey is saying. Rey is still under the blanket Ben scented. And Leia is seated on the couch across from Rey and Ben. Her hands are threaded delicately over her thigh, and her head is tilted in a way that makes Ben uncomfortable. Her dark, brown eyes are piercing—calculating. 

“Here you go,” he says, handing the glass over to Rey. 

“Thank you, Ben. You know I usually don’t drink because drinking takes away your inhibitions. I don’t like to feel as if I’m not in control, but this champagne is diluted with orange juice, which I like very much. Ben, do you like to drink?”

He lifts her feet up into his lap and sits next to her on the couch. “I like to have a glass of whiskey every now and then, but I don’t do it a lot.”

“How come you always drink at Maz’s?”

Han raises his eyebrows. “Who is Maz?”

“Maz is my mother. She and Pop adopted me when I was placed in child protective services.”

Leia purses her lips. “Child protective services?”

“Yes. I was placed into their custody when I was a child. My parents were arrested for child neglect and abuse.”

“Ahhh. Seems to be quite common these days,” Leia says. “When I was a girl, parents were much more firm, and rightfully so. Too many young people today create problems that don’t exist.”

Ben feels anger roil through him. He tries to keep his cool, but Leia is really pushing it. He remembers that perhaps she isn’t aware of just what happened to Rey when she was a child. It’s the only thing keeping him from exploding.

“I suppose it seems that way to your generation,” Rey says, “but young adults today are much more equipped to handle family trauma than baby boomers. Boomers were born in a post-war economic boom that—

—dear, none of you young people will ever be able to comprehend the gravity of what your elders were raised in. I suggest you do a little more research before spouting off about historical trends.”

Ben is going to fucking lose it. He’s going to pick his mother up and throw her through the window. 

“Oh, but Leia, your parents experienced a level of emotional and physical trauma that you will never be able to comprehend. You see, your mother and father were children during the Great Depression, and—

Rey’s speech is interrupted by the sound of Leia slamming her coffee mug down onto the table. 

“You know nothing about my parents! You may have been a foster child, but you’re not the only one. Don’t act as if you are merely a victim. So many children of my generation had to live with fathers they never saw and mothers who were too drugged up on tranquilizers to even remember they had children. Honestly, what nonsense. You wouldn’t know what trauma is.”

Ben storms over to where his mother is sitting, grabs her empty coffee mug and throws it against the wall, making it shatter. 

The entire room goes quiet, and Chewie and Peli have run up to the doorway leading into the living room, eyes wide and concerned. 

Ben bends down in front of his mother, bracketing her in with a hand on each arm of the chair. She doesn’t look the least bit scared, and that pisses Ben off even more. 

“Rey was locked into a closet by her parents for years. They practically starved her, and not only that—they wrapped her up in metal chicken wire, making it impossible for her to even sit. You, Alpha, know nothing of pain. Rey would have been ten times better off with Padme passed out at her vanity than with her mother. If you ever speak that way to my Omega again, there will be consequences—understand?”

Leia scowls at him. “She’s not your Omega.” 

Ben steps back and when he does, she pushes up from her seat and storms up the stairs. 

He’s so angry that his hands are shaking. He just wants to break every piece of breakable crap that Leia has decorated the cabin with. He’s so angry that he can feel it in his joints. 

Then he feels a hand brush against his from behind, and the scent of a freshly bloomed gardenia covers him like a blanket. 

“Alpha? Are you okay?”

He squeezes her hand and turns around. She’s left her little nest on the couch and is staring at his sweater with a small smile.

“Me? Am I okay? I don’t care about me. I care about you.”

“Me? But…why?”

Ben is thrown off by her calm demeanor. “Because of what my mother said—about your parents.”

Her eyebrows lift. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that what she said was rude and disrespectful and you didn’t deserve it. I’m sorry, Rey.”

“Rude? Was she? Perhaps it was the discussion that brought up some painful childhood memories and that is why she left the room. Would you like me to go and apologize?”

Ben is stunned—he’s just—completely flabbergasted at her nonchalance. 

He cups her face and kisses the tip of her nose. “You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met.”

She blushes. “Yes, you said I was prettier than other Omegas.”

“Did he now?” Han says with a smirk. 

Ben ignores him. 

“Yes, you are, but that’s not what I mean. I mean you’re beautiful on the inside too.” He swallows over the building lump in his throat. Why is he getting so worked up over this? Where is this coming from? 

“Oh. Thank you, Ben. You’re the most beautiful person I have ever met too.”

Ben pulls her against him and squeezes her tightly. She chirps as she rubs her face over his chest. 

And there’s a clicking noise. 

Ben looks up to see Peli with her phone in the air.

“Are you taking pictures?!”

“It’s not every day our little Benny has a girlfriend,” she says. “Rey, I hear that you love to read. Why don’t you come upstairs with me and I’ll show you the books I brought?”

“That would be lovely. Thank you!” She turns to Ben. “Alpha, I’m going upstairs with…”

“Peli…” Peli says.

“Yes, with Peli. I will be right back.”

Peli leads Rey up the staircase, and Ben hangs his head. What the fuck is he going to do about his mother?

Han comes up next to him and rests his hand on Ben’s shoulder. “Well, kid—can’t say I’m happy about the way you spoke to your mother, but I will say she walked right into it. Do me a favor and talk to her later—okay?”

“Sure,” Ben mumbles. His eyes are on the stairs—up to where his Omega is, worried that Leia will say something hurtful to Rey while he’s not there. 

“You love her…don’t you?” Han asks. 

Ben doesn’t know what to say because his father is right. 

He’s in love. And he’s been in love for much longer than he realized. 

Chapter Text

Peli seems like a nice enough person, Rey thinks. She’s very kind to show Rey her books, though Rey isn’t sure why she should be the one invited upstairs. After all, Ben loves to read too. Doesn’t everyone?

Rey is taken to the second floor of the cabin and notices there is a third floor as well. Leia and Han must be very wealthy to own a vacation home like this. When she was a child, Rey would have thought this was a castle. 

She shivers as she thinks about that closet in the downstairs hallway. It smells of mothballs, dust, and rotten wood—just like the one her parents locked her in for all those years. The stench is so strong, so pungent, that she feels her limbs twitch and her underarms ache with the memory of it. 

Her fingers sneak under her sweater and stroke the white, raised flesh there—scars that match the ones deep inside her that no one else can see—that she won’t allow anyone to see. 

Laughter sounds on the other side of the wall—a muffling before the rusty springs of the mattress in the bedroom begin to squeak. Rey isn’t sure what that noise is. Perhaps her parents are jumping on the bed. That would be fun. 

She closes her eyes and imagines she’s in her very own bedroom, jumping up and down onto a fluffy comforter—a bright purple one! She tries with all her might to hop, but when she comes down from her little jump, her arms snag on the chicken wire. Ouch! That hurts! 

Blood begins to drip slowly down her arms. She lifts each one to catch the copper liquid onto her fingers and suck it into her mouth. It’s all she has for now. 

Rey is yanked out of her memory by Peli’s voice. It’s scratchy and deep, like a smoker’s voice—like Maz’s.

“Rey? Honey? Are you paying attention?”

“Are you paying attention, REY? You piss on this floor one more time, and you’ll regret it! Shut up and go to sleep!”

Rey rests her hand over her throat and tries not to think about the image of her mother’s grimace right before the closet door is slammed in her face. In the distance—far outside herself—Peli keeps speaking, but Rey blocks it out. She can’t really talk right now. Anxiety just shoots through her body from head to toe, making her jaw clench shut. 

Rey wrings her hands together and stares at the wood paneling surrounding her. She hates it. She hates it.

Peli’s cold, bony hand strokes her upper arm, and she twitches.

“Did I say something to upset you, dear?”

Rey shakes her head, but still won’t speak. To be frank, she really needs to take a nap—and change her underwear because Ben’s affection earlier had quite an effect on her. This is all far too much stimulation. Did Ben tell his family she has autism? That might have been helpful. 

“Take a look at these!” Peli says, pulling a suitcase out from under the bed. She unzips the bag and throws open the cover, reaching beneath a stack of neatly folded clothes. “Here we are!” 

There’s a collection of used paperbacks in her hands, and Rey’s interest is piqued. Reading really is her favorite hobby (aside from her obsession with U.S. presidents). Where is Ben? He should be here too. 

Peli waves Rey over to her side of the bed and Rey sees that she’s laid the books flat on the comforter in a little row.

“Now, these are my favorites! I love to re-read them! They’re so good—and so entertaining too! This one is fantastic!”

Peli holds out a copy of Eat, Pray, Love. “This one changed my life! Absolutely incredible! It’s the story of a woman who is stuck in a miserable marriage, so she finally gets a divorce and decides to travel. Oh, it’s so inspiring! She goes to Italy first and then to India, and finally Bali. And the lessons she learns! It’s marvelous—a very good book for a young woman like you to read, Rey.”

Hmm. Perhaps focusing like this will help Rey’s anxiety and overstimulation. Discussing books always seems to help. Perhaps Peli had the right idea—and Rey loves to give her opinion!

“Well, I actually already read it,” Rey says, making Peli’s thin, brown eyebrows raise. 

“Really? Didn’t you just love it?!”

“I found it disingenuous,” Rey says, making Peli’s face fall. “I didn’t understand why the author felt it necessary to divorce her husband if all she had to do was communicate her issues. That seems the more mature route—and it’s nonsense that a gluttonous trip to Italy is beneficial to anyone’s mental health. Aside from that, I found it ironic that she would have a spiritual experience while centering the entire thing not around any particular religion, but herself. This is superficial nonsense. True happiness is sacrificial love. True serenity is the use of one’s vocation to serve others.”

Peli laughs. Weird. Rey’s not sure why that was funny. It wasn’t meant to be. 

“Well, she does use her vocation to help others! She wrote this book to help other women free themselves from being suffocated by society's expectations! It…it brings women out of their drudgery and encourages them to live an authentic life! To not accept mediocrity just because it’s expected of them!”

“Yes, but you see she didn’t learn anything. She remarried and that union ended in divorce as well. She was right back where she started, you see? Women should be encouraged to bear their burdens with dignity and face problems head-on—but one mustn’t be too hasty to judge, I suppose. Modern women have been raised to be led by their most basic urges. It’s quite difficult to sell them any other message than to do what makes them happy—to fulfill their true selves. But do you know what TR once said?”

Peli’s eyes are wide. They appear wet, and her lips are trembling. Perhaps the air is too humid. Rey can feel sweat firming at her brow and above her upper lip.

“Who…who is TR?” Peli asks. 

“Oh! Teddy Roosevelt! You see, he said: “A soft, easy life is not worth living, if it impairs the fibre of brain and heart and muscle. We must dare to be great; and we must realize that greatness is the fruit of toil and sacrifice and high courage... For us is the life of action, of strenuous performance of duty; let us live in the harness, striving mightily; let us rather run the risk of wearing out than rusting out." He had asthma, and though his asthma could not be cured, he still achieved greatness—and he was an Omega! He overcame every obstacle thrown before him and lived a life of service. This is the life one is meant to live!”

Peli swallows, and the book slides out of her hand and plops down onto a copy of The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck, and runs out of the room. 

Was it something Rey said? 

Oh well. She is thankful to finally be left alone. She needs to use the bathroom and find a decent closet to take a nap in. 

“Rey?”

She faces the door and sees her Alpha…her Ben!…standing there, and runs into his arms. He wraps them around her and squeezes. She loves being squeezed by his big arms. His hands move in slow circles over her back. 

Alpha

“Is everything okay? What happened to Peli?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. She showed me her books.”

Ben peeks over to the bed and grimaces. “Yeah those are fucking awful,” he says with a light-hearted chuckle. “She’s always loved self-help books and memoirs. She’s not really into literature or anything high-brow.”

“Oh. Well she left rather abruptly.”

Ben’s hands freeze at Rey’s back. “Why? What did she say?”

“Nothing, really. I was trying to tell her that I thought one of her books was a little silly, and she walked out. I suspect she was ill. Her cheeks were red and her eyes were watery. Those symptoms can be signs of one’s impending heat or simply a rise in temperature in the room. I imagine she’s freshening up. Ben—where is our room? I need to take a nap.”

“Ben has his own room, dear.”

Leia stands at the door, and her face is downturned in such a way that it reminds Rey of a gargoyle. 

“We’re a couple, Mother,” Ben says. “We need our own room.”

“You are not mated, and therefore not a couple. It would be inappropriate for you to share the same room. Stop acting like a teenager and just accept it. Rey can sleep on the couch by the fire. She’s—nested there already. I’m sure that will be much more comfortable for her.”

Oh no…no no no! Rey can’t stay there! In the middle of everything?! There will be so much foot traffic and talking and noise! And she desperately needs a closet! IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT SHE HAVE A CLOSET. 

“That’s not happening,” Ben says. “Rey is a guest. She can have my room.”

“You won’t fit on the couch,” Leia explains as if Ben is still a child. 

“I don’t care. Come on, Rey. I’ve put our bags in the room.”

Rey is unsure about going against Leia’s wishes in any way. After all, Rey will eventually be a member of the family, and it would be nice if they could get along—and Rey seems to have made the Alpha upset in some way. 

“One moment, Alpha,” Rey says to Ben. “I will be right with you.” He hesitates for a moment, but eventually walks away, disappearing into a room at the end of the hall. 

Leia purses her red lips and crosses her arms over her beige sweater. It looks expensive—definitely not something Maz would wear. It’s too boring. 

“I would like to speak to you, Leia.”

Leia’s raises her hand and shakes her head. “There’s no need to discuss it.”

Rey continues anyway. “Ben implied that I may have upset you in some way earlier. If that is the case, I would like to apologize. After all, one day you will be the grandmother to our pups, and I would like us to have a healthy relationship. Sometimes when I am engaged in conversation, I—

—we’ll not talk about this now,” Leia says, the authority in her voice on the verge of being a command. Rey doesn’t like that. She doesn’t like Alphas who use their designation to control her. That’s what her parents did. Only Ben may use a command on her. 

She really wants to draw a boundary, but also doesn't want to upset Leia any further. 

It’s probably better that she drops the matter. 

Leia leaves the room and climbs the second staircase to the third level, and Rey breathes a little sigh of relief. Now to go find Alpha! 

But she doesn’t need to. He’s walking right toward her. 

“Is everything okay?”

“Oh, yes Ben. It is.”

He takes her hand and leads her down the hallway, his thumb rubbing affectionately over her wrist gland as they make their way. She inhales and at first the musty smell of the closet, which seems to perforate throughout the cabin, claws it’s way down her throat—but then her Alpha’s dewy scent covers her like a protective blanket—like an oxygen mask giving her good, clean air to breathe. 

He’s so wonderful. How could she have lived her life so long without him? 

They walk into the bedroom and Rey takes it all in. It’s not that large. The bed—a full size—is facing them. On the right is the bathroom and on the left—a closet! 

Ben walks behind her and shuts the door. 

“I’m sorry about my Mom,” Ben says, taking her hands in his, pulling her further into the room. His thumbs glide over her wrist glands. “Was she rude to you? You can tell me.”

Briefly Rey thinks of the command Leia gave her, but pushes it down. Rey has already put Ben through so much and the vacation has only just begun. She’s not going to ruin it for him any further. 

“No! Not at all. Ben—I am very tired. May I please take a nap?” After her meltdown in the car and the exchange with both Peli and Leia, she’s very drained. 

“Sure!”

Oh, thank goodness. Ben is so kind and understanding. 

He places the back of his hand on her forehead and winces. “Omega—you’re kind of hot. I hope you’re not getting sick. Would you like me to run you a bath or anything?”

“Oh, no thank you Alpha.” Cleaning is very difficult for her especially when she’s recovering from a meltdown. “Where is my bag?”

“Here,” he says, lifting it onto the bed. “Do you um…do you want some privacy?”

“Yes,” she answers honestly. “I might need help with the nest though. You will need to scent it once it’s ready.” 

“The…the nest? You’ll let me scent your nest? Really?”

“Yes. I need you to, please.” Rey opens her bag and begins to gently place her clothes on the bed. She’ll have to scent each one of them very carefully. 

Out of her periphery she notices Ben stepping closer to her, wiping his hands on the front of his pants.

“Rey…I…I want to tell you something…something important.”

She’s rubbing one of her sweaters over her gland. It’s very thick, so she needs to be thorough. “What do you need to tell me?”

“Can you…can you come here?”

Rey stops rubbing the thick sweater over her neck and gently folds it before putting it in her scented pile. She rises from the bed and walks up to her Alpha as he requested. 

He takes her hands back in his and stares down at them for a quiet moment. What is the matter? Has Rey done something to displease him?

“Rey, I—

“Get down here kids! Time to decorate the tree!” Han bellows from the floor below. 

“Dammit,” Ben mutters under his breath. He lets go of Rey's hand and ruffles his black hair with it. Rey’s not sure if he’s upset with her. It doesn’t smell like it.

“I guess we ought to go downstairs,” he says. “But when we’re done you can take a nap,” he assures her. 

“And you’ll help me with the nest?”

He puts his arm around her shoulders and kisses her forehead. “Yes, Omega. I’ll help you.”

Chapter Text

As Ben walks with Rey down the hallway, she yawns adorably, and he wraps his arm around her shoulders. She easily lets her head drop onto his shoulder, and she seems to be sleeping on her feet. 

“I know you’re exhausted,” he tells her, planting a light kiss on her warm forehead. “But it’s kind of a tradition to decorate the Christmas tree on the first day here. Will you be alright?”

“Oh, yes! That sounds quite fun.”

“Good,” he says, pleased that her scent is stable. It always feels like a relief when his Omega is at peace. Rey being happy makes Ben happy. 

As they walk down the stairs, he thinks about how close he came to telling her that he loved her—because his father was right. It may be the only thing Han Solo has ever been right about when it comes to Ben. 

Liking Rey was incredibly easy. Loving her was inevitable. Ben truly thinks he may have found what he has always secretly wanted—a mate.  

But does she love him? What if he makes his big confession of love and she rejects him? Rey is blunt. If she doesn’t return his feelings, she will crush him, and she won’t even know she’s done it. Ben will have to deal with his broken heart all by himself because he wouldn’t dare tell her that she’s hurt him. Ben can’t bear to think of any scenario where he makes her feel bad. 

Maybe he should just keep it to himself for now—until he’s sure that she returns his feelings. 

“Well! It’s the lovebirds!” Han says, cup of coffee in hand. “Ready to decorate the tree?”

“No,” Ben grumbles as he takes the last step. 

Han rolls his eyes. “Well, what about you, Rey?”

“I am very tired from the long drive and I would like to take a nap, but I will stay and decorate.”

“You’re a good sport,” Han says, patting her back. Rey flinches a little. Ben should have had a talk with his Dad about physical boundaries and autism, but Ben doesn’t talk to his Dad about anything. Maybe it’s time that Ben grows up and just swallows his pride. When it comes to making Rey feel safe, he has no problem stepping out of his comfort zone. 

“Dad?”

Han, who is walking a hunched over Rey into the living room, stops and looks back. “Yeah?”

“Can I talk to you for a sec?”

“Sure. Rey, you go save me a seat on the couch, kiddo.” He winks and Rey nods profusely, her usual bright smile lighting up her pretty face. Ben is already anxious to be next to her again. 

Han leans against the wood of the cabin wall and taps the heel of his boot on the floor. It’s a little awkward. Ben never speaks to his father. There’s too much animosity there—too much history—but this involves Ben’s Omega, the only Omega he’s ever had or ever will have. It’s important. 

“Alright,” Han says. “What is it you want to say? What have I done wrong now?”

“Did Mom tell you that Rey is autistic?” 

“Yeah…and?”

“And that means you need to give her space. Don’t touch her without asking. Actually—just don’t touch her at all. You could upset her.”

Han rolls his eyes. “Oh come on, son. Rey is a big girl. She doesn’t want to be treated like a baby.”

Ben suppresses his building anger, telling himself that if Rey were standing there he would be embarrassed to be acting so rashly. 

“You don’t know anything about what she wants,” Ben says. “I do because I’m her Alpha. It’s my job to take care of her. So don’t touch her like that anymore.”

“Jeez. I knew it would be like this,” Han grumbles, stepping away from the wall. He reaches into the inside pocket of his jean jacket and pulls out a pack of Marlboros and pulls one out, letting it hang from his bottom lip. 

“Like what?” Ben says, feeling his blood pressure rise. 

“I knew you’d be a total sap when you got your first girlfriend. You’re acting more like an Omega than an Alpha with all this whining you’re doing.”

Ben swallows and stares at the floor, his eyes picking out each little speck of wood woven together. If he keeps his eyes on the floor, maybe he won’t get upset. Maybe then he won’t reveal just how hurt he is by his father’s remark. 

“Just forget it,” Ben says, feeling defeated. 

He walks toward the living room, a part of him wishing that Han would beg him to come back so they can talk it out. 

But he doesn’t. He just shuffles behind Ben as they make their way toward the small little gathering by the tree. 

Ben is in a daze of depression as he tries to breathe in the room. There are garlands hanging from the fireplace with little stocking holders—the same ones that have been placed there since Ben was a kid. 

The tree is evergreen, the soft, white lights casting a gentle glow between the branches. Leia’s red velvet tree skirt is fanned out at the bottom, golden embroidery lining the ruffled edges. Ben has vague memories of being a toddler and pressing his baby hand onto the fabric (accompanied by his mother scolding him to stop). 

Leia is sitting in one of the chairs by the fire talking to Peli, who’s standing with a mug in her hand, arms crossed. They’ve been friends for years. Peli and Chewie were even at the Solo wedding. 

Kaydel can be heard in the kitchen fussing over one of Poe’s spawn. 

And what about Rey? Where is his Omega? 

There’s a figure sitting on the couch with a blanket over its head. It smells like gardenia. 

Ben walks around the couch and sees his Omega sitting in the corner of the couch, quietly observing the room. Her green eyes are wide and alert. Her nostrils flare and she looks up at him and smiles. “Hello, Alpha.”

Ben sinks into the couch and reaches out to hold her hand. She sneaks it out from under the blanket. Ben leans forward, turning her hand over in his. He’s trying to block out the comment Han made about being like an Omega, but it’s hard. When he was a kid, he would ask his mom constantly about his father. Where was he? Why did he leave? When was he coming back? And then when he would come back, Han would spend all of his time with Leia, and most of that time was spent arguing. 

Still—Ben would sneak out of his bedroom and peek through the wooden banisters lining the staircase and watch his father scream at his mother. He would notice the way Han’s peppered hair ruffled under his thick fingers—how deep and gravelly his voice would get when he was upset about something. Every little detail he could take in, Ben would catalog so that he would always remember who his father was. 

Now, he wishes nothing more than to forget him. 

“Your scent is very bad,” Rey points out, scrunching up her dainty little nose. “It smells like mold or mildew—kind of like the pipes under Maz’s kitchen sink. They leak a little. Pops was supposed to fix it, but he always put it off. Do you know how to fix pipes, Ben?”

He doesn’t say anything—just shakes his head. 

“Fix pipes? Ben?” Han says, taking a seat at the other end of the couch. “Are you kidding?”

“No,” Rey says very seriously, not catching the sarcasm in Han’s comment. “Ben is a very smart person—and a good Alpha. He could probably fix anything.”

“I’m sure he can,” Han says, this time with not one bit of sarcasm. He glances at Ben and mumbles a quiet ‘sorry,’ to Ben’s surprise. Rey must be the only person who can make Han Solo look guilty for something he’s done. 

Ben squeezes her hand and kisses the inside of her palm. 

“Leia! Are we doing this or what?”

Leia glares at her husband. “Yes. There’s no need to be so impatient.” She stands and flattens down the edges of her sweater, gently folding the thick sleeves up to her elbows. “The ornament boxes are in the hallway closet. Tahiri will you be a doll and go—

—I can get them!” Rey offers, dropping her blanket from her shoulders. 

“That’s not necessary, dear. Tahiri needs to learn where everything is. You just have a seat.”

“But I can…”

“Don’t worry about it, dear,” Leia says. 

As Tahiri steps out of the room, Leia takes her seat again and crosses her legs. It’s quiet. Everyone just sort of stares at each other before Poe comes back into the cabin with one of his sons charging in behind him. 

Poe’s scent claws up Ben’s nose, making him irritable. He just wants to cocoon Rey in her blanket and hide her away from the threatening Alpha. 

Tahiri brings in the ornaments one box at a time and very neatly stacks them around the tree. 

“What a lovely job you’ve done!” Leia says. “Ben, don't you think Tahiri has done an excellent job?

“Yes?” As if it’s hard to stack a few boxes. Ben knows what Leia is up to now. She’s trying to push Tahiri at him. Should he tell her now that it’s a complete waste of time? So this girl can arrange a stack of boxes? That’s neat but can she interpret Ralph Ellison without CliffsNotes? Can she sculpt and paint a reborn doll? Can she tell him about every single US President (including the forgotten ones like Franklin Pierce)? 

Ben looks over at his Omega, who is smiling at the tree. Nope. No one is like Rey. No woman could even begin to compare.

“Well! Let’s get going!” Leia says. Everyone jumps up from their seats and begins to take the ornaments out of their respective boxes, placing them on the tree. 

“Would you like to put on the bows?” Ben asks Rey.

“Oh, yes!” 

They both rise from the couch and Ben divides the bows up between them. He shows her how to tie the best way so that they don’t fall off the branches—since they’re so damn ancient. 

“These are so pretty,” Rey says. 

“Thank you, dear,” Leia says. “I’ve had them for a while. They were a gift from one of my old friends.”

She winks over at Peli, and Peli winks back. 

“Who?” Rey asks. 

Leia huffs. “Peli, dear. They are one of a kind.”

“Oh. They’re lovely.” Rey giggles. “The plaid is very retro. I like it.”

Leia’s eyebrows hit the ceiling. “Retro?”

Rey explains: “Yes, this particular ornament was listed in the 1992 JCPENNEY Christmas catalog.”

“The what?” Leia sputters. 

“The JCPENNEY Christmas catalog. Maz used to order them every year until they eliminated the physical catalog and replaced it with the website. She hates the website, so she refuses to shop there anymore. We go to the Goodwill sometimes—or Target when we have the money.”

Leia looks over at Peli, and Peli avoids her eyes, cheeks turning pink. Oh. So apparently these ornaments are not one of a kind. 

Ben loves it. He loves Rey so much. She takes people down a notch without even knowing it. 

“I’ve never had a real Christmas tree before!” Rey continues. “Maz has a fake one.”

“What about your parents? Did they have a real tree?” Leia asks. 

Ben’s eyes sharpen like daggers. Leia is trying to bring up something traumatic on purpose just to upset Rey and trigger an episode. He just knows it. 

He hates his mother. 

“They never had a Christmas tree. At least I don’t believe so.”

“You don’t believe so?” Chewie says. “What do you mean by that?”

Rey shrugs. “Well I just don’t know because I was in the closet most of the time. I think they had lights up somewhere. I once thought I saw twinkling lights coming from the outside when I snuck out once. That was before they put the chicken wire in. Ben? We’re out of bows. What shall we work on next?”

Ben swallows hard and reaches down for a new box. “The angels,” he says, kissing the top of her head. 

I’m here, his Alpha wants to say.

She lifts up one of the porcelain angels and gently loops it onto one of the branches. “They’re very pretty angels, aren’t they?”

Ben wraps his arms around her from behind, and dares to kiss her gland, knowing his mother is watching. She looks like she’s about to explode.

“Not as pretty as you,” Ben says. 

Han peeks his head around the back of the tree. He’s handling all the ball ornaments. “Are you two ever going to stop being so sappy?”

“Mind your own business,” Ben says, unwinding his arms from Rey’s waist. 

They all continue to hang the ornaments, quiet conversation blending in nicely with the Nat King Cole playing in the background. 

“So, Rey…you, um…you mentioned that you were in a closet?” Peli asks.

Ben is so annoyed. When is his family going to give this up?

“Yes,” Rey says. She doesn’t say anything more. It’s weird that she doesn’t elaborate because Rey rarely speaks in less than one sentence. 

“Were you always in a closet?”

“Yes,” she says, bending down to pick up another angel. She swipes her forehead with the back of her hand. 

“Sweetheart—are you feeling well?”

“I’m very hot.”

He feels her forehead. Yikes. She’s burning up. It does feel like a furnace in here. Even Ben is sweating bullets. 

“Would you like to sit down? I can get you something to drink.” Can’t let Omega get dehydrated. It could be dangerous. 

“Yes,” she says, sinking into the couch. She lays down and holds a throw pillow to her chest. 

Ben goes to the kitchen to grab a glass of ice water. He decides to pour one for himself too. He pulls at the collar of his sweater. It’s sweltering. 

When he comes back, he sees that Rey has fallen asleep, her cheek squished against the arm of the couch. He bends down and strokes the little curls of her hair away from her sweaty forehead.

“Rey? Do you want to go lie down in the closet upstairs and take a nap?”

This time she doesn’t even answer. She just squints her eyes open like a sleepy cat and nods in the affirmative. Ben lifts her up from the couch and into a bridal carry. His family seems too preoccupied with the tree to pay any attention to Rey. It kind of pisses Ben off. 

“Poor thing.”

Ben turns around at Poe’s comment, rolls his eyes, and heads for the stairs when Poe says something that makes his blood boil. 

“She’s a real sweetheart. You know, Ben—if I were you, I wouldn’t leave her alone for too long. Another Alpha is probably waiting in the wings to snatch her up.” He winks at Ben and saunters away. 

If Rey wasn’t so tired—if he wasn’t so tired—Ben would deck this asshole. In fact, maybe he should just tell Rey when she wakes up that they’re going to leave early. So far this trip has been a total failure, and he’d much rather sit next to Rey and hang out with Maz watching old movies than deal with his rude family. Yeah. They’re definitely leaving tomorrow. 

Once he makes it up the stairs to the second floor he pauses to catch his breath. Why is he so winded? 

Get Omega into the nest. She’ll be safe there. 

“Yes,” Ben speaks aloud to himself. “Much safer in the nest.”

He slides the closet door open with his elbow and gently lays Rey down onto the blanket that’s already been laid out. There are only two pillows there, but he’ll have to make-do. 

It smells so nice—so floral and fragrant. He lays down next to her and snuggles his head into one of the pillows. Ahh. It’s nice and cool. 

Rey turns around and snuggles into his chest, chirping just before she hides her face behind her closed fists. Fucking adorable. 

He kisses her forehead just before he dozes off, a chorus of Mine Mine Mine looping through his head.

Chapter Text

Rey gasps when she suddenly wakes, eyes blinking rapidly in the dark. Oh my, what a horrid dream! She was running through a complicated maze, surrounded by thick, green ivy and heavy fog, and her stomach hurt so horribly bad! It felt as if the cramping would never end! Thank goodness it’s over now!

Her tongue rolls around in her mouth. It’s very dry, and she’s parched. She desperately needs a glass of water or orange juice. Usually, she will be sure to place a plastic bottle of Deer Park on her bedside table, but she is on vacation, so everything has been thrown into chaos. 

Perhaps Alpha can assist her. 

“Alpha? Alpha, can you please fetch me a glass of water? I’m thirsty.”

But Ben doesn’t answer—in fact, he snores rather loudly. His scent smells much sharper than it normally does. She places the back of her hand on his forehead. Oh, no! He is burning up! Maybe he has a bad case of the flu! Poor Alpha. She needs to take care of him. 

Very carefully, she pushes herself up from the closet floor. What time is it? She tip-toes to her bag and pulls out her phone. It’s already dinner time! They missed lunch! Oh, dear. No wonder she’s so thirsty. 

She heads into the bathroom and combs her hair. Her clothes are so thick and hot! So she undresses and changes into a pajama floral dress Maz had purchased for her at Walmart. Rose says it’s really not proper winter clothing, and that Rey’s legs will freeze right off—but it’s so horribly hot that she has to change. 

When more of her skin is exposed to the air, she feels much, much better. Unfortunately though, people will still be awake downstairs, so she can’t just come down in her pajamas. She pulls up some black leggings and lets a thin Dollar Tree scarf hang from her neck to cover her chest. There—much more presentable. All she’s getting is a drink of water. 

She gently opens and closes the bedroom door so as not to disturb Alpha. He’s clearly very tired. She doesn’t want to anger him. 

Surprisingly, the cabin is quiet. 

Once Rey makes it to the first floor, she looks around and sees no one—no one! 

Hmm. That’s very odd. Surely Leia would have woken Rey and Ben up. 

Rey goes into the kitchen and sees a note written on a dry erase board:

Ben,

I’m taking Kaydel and the kids to the grocery store…the one on Mavrille. Your father is taking a nap. We will bring home dinner. 

Oh! So the family is running errands. Rey wishes she could have asked to go too. She really needs some slick pads. Her underwear just isn’t cutting it, and it’s incredibly uncomfortable. Maybe Ben can take her later. Ben would do anything for her. He’s never ever said ‘no.’ He’s just…well, he’s wonderful. 

Oh Alpha. You’re so good to me. Too good. 

She opens a nearby cabinet and takes down a glass, putting it under the ice maker. Maz doesn't have one like this that’s built into the fridge door. It’s very high-end. There’s even a water dispenser. There’s a fridge like this one in the breakroom at work. Rey used to use it, but Ben brings her sparkling grape juice every day because it’s her favorite beverage, even though it feels stupid to like it. Don’t most adults like real wine? But Ben doesn’t judge her. He never does. 

Rey stares at the glass and turns it over the counter. The snow is white and bright through the window, reflecting through the crystal, making little rainbows over Rey’s fingertips. 

She thinks about all the years she’s been alone—how she never thought she’d find a friend that would like her, let alone an Alpha. 

Her eyes begin to well. And Ben said he didn’t want an Omega, but he still wants Rey. And he said he was her Alpha, didn’t he? He’s sacrificing so much for her. His selflessness is so overwhelming that she breaks down. Love—pure, unconditional love floods every part of her—love for her Ben, her Alpha. She wants him to be her mate. She wants him to bite her. And even if he doesn’t want that, she wants it. And she always will. 

How will he react when she tells him she loves him? Because she does. She’s desperately in love with him. But she feels like Jane Eyre—like the plain girl who just pines after the handsome and very unavailable Mr. Rochester. And Ben is even more incredible than Mr. Rochester. 

She feels so ugly and annoying and stupid! How can he want to be with her? She just ruins everything. She’s only bringing him down. 

Despite it all she wants him. She needs him—and her need for him outweighs her insecurity. She wants nothing more than to go back up to the nest and have him hold her closely. Even if he doesn’t love her, maybe her love can be enough for them both. 

She takes a quick sip and gets excited to run back to her Alpha. 

But as her body turns she’s met with a wall—a chest belonging not to her Alpha—but to Poe Dameron.

Before she can even protest his nearness, he pushes her against the counter, and presses his finger into her gland, making her wince. Ow! That hurts! 

“Be quiet. Don’t say a word,” he commands.

Rey’s body goes into fight or flight mode or something like it because the last time someone truly, outrightly commanded her was her father, and when that happened, she ended up caged in sharp, unrelenting chicken wire. What does it mean that Poe is commanding her? 

He grabs her forearm and looks out the window before yanking her to a bedroom on the first floor, just beyond that horrible hall closet. 

This must be his and Kaydel’s bedroom—but why is he commanding Rey to come in here? She doesn’t feel comfortable around him, but they certainly could have spoken out in the living room. 

He smiles. “Undress” he says, licking his lips. 

Rey freezes. He…he commanded her to undress. Just the thought of disrobing makes her stomach roil with nausea.

He’s going to rape her. Just like most Alphas—he’s going to take what he wants—and there’s nothing she can do about it because she’ll be horribly sick if she doesn’t. She could even end up in the hospital. 

With shaking fingers, she pulls the thin scarf from her neck. Then she bends over and slides her black leggings off. Finally, off comes her dress. And because she didn’t wear a bra, he can see her breasts. He steps forward and squeezes her left one with his rough, calloused hands. She hates it. No man has ever touched her here. He’s taken this moment away from her. 

“Take off your underwear,” he commands. 

No, NO! She doesn’t want to! She can’t! That’s too far! No, no! It’s like giving her soul away against her will!

But she must. She has no say. 

She grasps her panties and slowly slides them down, exposing herself fully to him. He licks his lips again and walks up to her, putting his hand at her lower back, pressing her to him. Her body responds against her will. 

He moves his hand from her breast down…down…down…until he’s just above that sacred place between her legs. 

“I’m going to fuck this little pussy now. And then—you’re going to let me mate you. I’m going to make you come around my cock. I’m the only Alpha you’ll ever need. Now—lay on the bed and spread your legs.”

She sniffles and tries to disassociate as she obeys, scooting her naked body up onto the bed, opening her knees. 

Poe takes his clothes off and holds himself in hand, walking toward the bed. He strokes himself and presses his right knee just at the edge…

…when a loud roar from the doorway reverberates through the room. 

Ben leaps on top of Poe and pulls him to the ground, and all Rey can see are limbs tangling on the wooden floor at the foot of the bed. 

She peers over as Ben lifts Poe under his arms and slams him into the cabin wall, making it crack under the pressure. 

His hands, large and powerful, wrap around Poe’s neck and squeeze, making him choke. 

Ben says nothing as Poe’s face changes color. 

“I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM MY OMEGA!”

Poe’s neck is being squeezed so tightly that he can’t even speak. He alternates between flailing his arms and gripping Ben’s in a vain attempt to remove his grip, but Ben is too big and too strong. 

Without warning, a cramp seizes at Rey’s belly like white hot lightning, and she curls into herself with a ragged moan. Slick pours out of her and coats her thighs. It hurts! It hurts so bad she begins to sob!

“Alpha,” she whimpers. “Alpha.”

It’s the only word that seems to get Ben’s attention. 

He releases Poe from his death grip and lets him sink to the floor with a thump. Poe falls flat on his back and his head lolls as he passes out. 

Ben takes swift action, sweeping Rey up from the soaked bedspread and into his strong arms. 

Through the fog of heat, Rey realizes that she is stark naked! In front of Ben! She doesn’t feel comfortable showing herself to him yet. No man has ever, ever seen her naked! And Ben saw everything when he came into that bedroom. She was on full display. 

It’s more than humiliating. It’s degrading. She feels as if she was laid out like a piece of meat. She unleashes a loud cry into Ben’s neck, ashamed that he’s seen her like this. 

“Shhh. It’s okay, Omega. I’ve got you. You’re mine.”

It makes her cry even harder. She was going to tell him she loved him for the very first time, and Poe took that moment away from her. Now Ben will never want her. She’s used up. She’s trash. Ben wants a nice, clean Omega. 

No. He didn’t want one at all—remember Rey?

“Gonna get you out of here. Don’t worry. Don’t worry,” he says, huffing his way up the stairs to the bedroom. He walks to the closet and gently lays her down in the nest. She curls in on herself, trying to cover her nakedness, body shaking with tremors.

He leaves for a moment, then comes back with a large throw blanket that Rey remembers seeing on a chair in the corner of the room. He drapes it over her. 

“I’m going to shut the door while I pack our things.”

Rey whimpers. She can’t bear to be away from Alpha, even if it’s only a few feet. What if Poe wakes up and comes in to snatch her out of the closet? What if he commands her to let him mate her? She will die. She will die if she has to be his mate—to move into his house with his bratty children and his sad wife. 

And she’ll be without Ben forever. She’s never going to see him again. 

“Shhhhh,” he says, leaning over her. He kisses her forehead. “I’m going as fast as I can, okay? I'm going to drive us home.”

“Poe…he’s going to mate me!” she cries. “Help me! Help me!” 

Ben’s face is smooth and stiff like marble—like a statue of Zeus she once saw in a museum, tall bolts of lightening in his strong hand. “He’s not going to get past me. I’ll kill him first. I’ll kill him,” he says, voice cool and deep. Rey nods shakily and he bends down to kiss her forehead.

Once everything is packed and ready to go, he lifts her from the closet and lays her onto the bed. He doesn’t talk—neither of them do—as he wraps her up in the comforter on the bed into a tight cocoon. He’s scented it. Rey takes deep breaths and tries to let the dewy smell into her nervous system. It helps, but she’s too traumatized to calm down. 

He runs with her downstairs and out into the crisp winter weather, the sun shining through the tree branches onto the driveway, as he places her in the backseat. Rey shivers. The seat is fabric, but it’s still cold. 

“Be right back. Getting the bags.”

He slams the door shut and Rey waits, every second feeling like an hour, until he comes back. He turns the key in the ignition and begins backing the car out. 

The heat comes through the little vents at the back of the console. It’s not enough but it will be soon. 

Ben says nothing as he drives them. Rey just tried to focus on feeling better, but she can’t. She just can’t because all she can think about is Poe Dameron waking up and following them. He knows Ben’s car, doesn’t he? He knows his license plate too! He’s probably got a GPS tracker on the car! 

The phone rings and Rey can hear it through the sound system. 

“Hello?” Ben says, voice calm and deadly. Rey has never heard this tone of voice from him before. It’s scary. 

“Ben what on earth happened?!” Leia yells.

He remains silent, hands resting comfortably on the wheel. Somehow him being so quiet is more frightening than his angry growls. 

“Ben, Poe is on the ground with a Goddamned purple neck and I have a cracked wall! Where the hell are you?!”

“Goodbye, Mother,” Ben says, ending the call. 

The phone doesn’t ring again. 

Ben is so quiet that it’s starting to freak Rey out. She’s incredibly nervous—so nervous that he’s angry with her!

“Burden burden burden…Rey is a burden…lock her away…we don’t want to see her…we don’t want to see her!” she says robotically. 

Ben looks through the rear view mirror. “Omega?”

The sounds of the cars whooshing past them on the interstate and the bumps on the road hitting the tires are making her sick. Her head is on fire and her stomach squeezes so hard that she feels like she will pass out. It’s the most excruciating pain she’s ever experienced. She feels like she’s going to die. 

She lets out a blood-curdling scream, making Ben swerve the car over onto the side of the road. People are honking behind them and Ben is cursing. 

He hops out and runs around to open the back door and gently lifts her body up and into his lap. 

He cradles her in his elbow, hand at her back, as he rocks her as well as he can in the tight space. 

“Shhhh…shhh…I’m here. Alpha will protect you. You’re safe. You’re safe.”

Rey shakes her head and an image of Poe leaning over her floods her vision and makes her scream again. 

“BITE ME!!!! PLEASE BITE ME ALPHA!!!! SAVE ME!!! SAVE ME!!!”

Ben shakes his head. “No,” he whispers. “Not like this. Not like this. I can’t.”

“PLEASE PLEASE HE’S COMING TO GET ME HE'S COMING!!!”

“Rey, I can’t,” he whispers, lower lip trembling. “I can’t do that to you.”

Rey is desperate, cold, and alone. Alone! Stuck in the hallway closet!!! She’s hungry!!! She’s thirsty!!! She can’t breathe!!!

“HELP!!!!!! SOMEONE PLEASE…HELP!!!”

She’s on the verge of passing out from the pain when she feels it…

Sharp, thick teeth sink into the delicate flesh at her neck, making her eyes roll into the back of her head. She’s transported to a heavenly garden, surrounded by pink roses, yellow tulips, and morning glories. A light breeze flows through her hair carrying the scent of warm dew blanketing the grass. She feels like the orphan Mary standing in awe of the secret garden that has bloomed around her, the rebirth of Spring pushing out the pain and misery of her childhood and regenerating her with new life. 

Chapter Text

Ben is shivering in the backseat of his car, but not because of the plummeting temperature. 

His tongue brushes in long, luxurious licks over the punctured, raised flesh on his mate’s delicate neck. The scent is different now—it’s not just her blooming gardenia, but his fresh, Spring dew. Together, they smell like an entire bed of flowers. 

“Oh,” Rey whines as he continues to tend to her wound. “Mmmm…”

“Mine…” he says, stating the obvious. The word falls from his lips from something deep inside his biology—a place he’s rarely tapped from—an urge that is foreign, yet somehow natural. 

Omega is sniffling into his neck, much calmer than she was just a few seconds ago. All it took was Ben’s bite—his DNA seeping from his teeth into her skin and melding with hers. It’s incredible. 

But it’s not all she needs, judging by Ben’s thighs, now warm and wet by her dripping slick. 

Ben kisses her forehead and looks down at her. She’s not looking right at him, which isn’t unusual. Her line of sight is always just slightly off. But he still tries to catch her eye. 

“You’re safe, Rey. You’re safe. I’ve got you. I’ve got you,” he tells her, pulling her even tighter to his chest.

She whimpers, curling her fingers inward to make little balled fists against his sweater. Then her left hand loosens and creeps slowly up his chest and to his neck. Ben stills when he feels the pad of her index finger brush over his gland, and she presses down into the swollen flesh.

“Pups,” she mutters. “I need pups, Alpha.”

That wakes him up from his stupor. 

“Rey, I need to get you home. We can’t do this right now. I need to make sure you’re really consenting to this. We never talked about…”

Her nostrils flare and before Ben knows it, she’s straddling him, her cold fingers brushing against his belly as she lifts his sweater and unbuttons his pants. 

“No, Rey. Stop, we…we can’t do this. We’re…I’m about to go into rut and you’re in full heat. We can’t…we can’t…”

It's then that she keels over, clutching her belly, and sobs into his neck.

“Hurts. It hurts, Alpha. Please!”

He shushes her and pulls her in close, stroking her back. “I’m sorry…I’m sorry, Omega.” He feels so guilty that he is very close to taking her right there in his car—to slip inside her and knot her until she never cries again—but she’s been through so much trauma and Poe…Poe had…

This would be rape. If Ben took her like this, she wouldn’t be consenting, and he would never forgive himself. 

She tries again to pull him from his pants, but he bats her hand away and pulls the blanket back up over her shoulders. She huffs and grabs his wrists as she fights to touch him. As the blanket falls, it exposes her nakedness, and Ben keeps his eyes on her face because he’s a gentleman, and this is his Omega who's been treated like a piece of meat. He’s going to give her back her dignity. She’s the most precious, important person to him, and now she’s his mate. He will protect her—even from himself. 

“No, sweetheart,” he says, trying in vain to bundle her up. “Just relax. You have to relax.”

“Please…please, Alpha, please! It hurts.”

“No, Omega. No.”

At his response, she unleashes the most pitiful wail Ben has ever heard. It pierces his ears and travels down into his chest, lancing his heart. It’s the cry of a little girl that’s fallen and skinned her knee…the little girl who can’t find her parents at the grocery store…

…the little girl who was locked into a closet by the two people in the world who were supposed to love her the most. 

He can’t do this to her. He can’t be the one to cause her more pain. He’s got to be the one to take it away. He just prays that she forgives him when she finally comes back to her senses. 

“It’s okay, Rey. It’s okay. Here.” He pushes his pants down, his behind chilled by the cold fabric of the backseat, and lifts her up by the hips to slowly join their shivering bodies together. 

Ben can’t breathe. The feeling of being inside her is so right…so perfect…so beautiful…that he is almost brought to tears. 

He pulls her in closer, and lets her take control of his body. Ben doesn’t mind. It belongs to her now anyway, and…he’s so happy…so blissfully happy that he never wants to detach from her again. 

It’s when his knot blooms and locks her body to his that he feels it for the first time…

…home. This is home. This is what it feels like to be loved unconditionally…to feel peace and belonging…to feel closeness and intimacy he’s longed for his whole life…

It’s so much greater than romantic love. It’s the universal love that every person is born longing for. This is supposed to be reserved for other people, people far more deserving, and Ben is the one who has been blessed to find it. 

And what’s even better than the euphoria flooding his body?: The happiness he brings to his Omega. 

His Omega…

He’s been so occupied with his feelings that he hasn’t even noticed her licking away at his gland. Her tongue is warm and wet and very, very busy. 

Ben is in such a daze that he leans his head back and closes his eyes. He’s never been so relaxed—so at peace.

And then he feels it…

Her teeth nip around his gland between licks and soon the licks stop all together and she’s nibbling away at his sensitive flesh. It feels good…so good…and then…and then…

She bites into his gland—hard. 

Ben cries out in ecstasy, and his knot swells even larger inside her, which he never thought was even possible with how snug and tight she is. 

“Mine,” she mutters, just as he did. “Mine…mine…mine…”

He grasps her hips and holds her to him, gliding his hands up her soft body. 

“Beautiful…my beautiful mate,” he says, pulling the blanket back up over her shoulders. He tucks her head under his chin and kisses the top of her head, inhaling the scent of her hair.

Immediately, she drifts off to sleep, and the most adorable snores Ben has ever heard come out of her open mouth. This is the woman who stole his heart—the only one who ever could. Only she was worthy to take it. 

He wants to get her into a nest as soon as possible. They can’t stay here like this on the side of the road. 

The only issue is that his knot doesn’t seem to want to go down. His body isn’t ready to let go yet. 

They don’t have time to wait for it to go down. It’s too cold, and they’re on the side of a busy highway. It’s dangerous. He’ll just have to drive with her in his lap. 

He opens the car door on the left and winces at the winter chill in the air. It’s icy on the road, so he has to be incredibly careful. Slowly and carefully, he walks to the driver’s side door and sinks into the front seat. He turns the car on and prays that they get to his apartment safely. He also hopes she stays asleep because it’s not exactly safe to have sex behind the wheel, let alone in the dead of winter when all the roads are covered in black ice. 

The drive is quiet. Ben stays in the slow lane the entire way and doesn’t go above 60mph. The longer he drives, the darker it gets outside. 

Rey is still fast asleep when he finally parks the car in front of his apartment building. Good. He can lay the Omega in his nest and prepare a few snacks to eat. Soon he’ll be in rut and he won’t have time to think about food. 

He gets out and carries her inside, dropping his keys on the table by the door. He ensures that the door is deadbolted in case any Alphas catch Rey’s scent. 

As he turns his neck to do so, his punctured gland throbs, and he welcomes it. He actually has a mate. He belongs to someone when he never thought he would. The giddiness bubbling inside him would be embarrassing if it wasn’t so euphoric. 

His closet isn’t really a nest right now because usually that’s something an Omega starts. He decides to lay her in bed for now where they can be comfortable. 

He lays down with Rey draped over him. He pulls the comforter over them and strokes her back. It gives him time to think about what has happened. 

When Ben reaches over and feels the empty space where Rey is supposed to be sleeping, he knows immediately that something is awry. She would never leave without telling him, not while she is going into heat. 

And when he makes it to the first floor and hears a foreboding, dead silence, he knows. He just knows where she is, and the fear—the abject terror that shoots through his nervous system is so great that he nearly faints, but his adrenaline pumps through his veins and propels him forward. 

When he sees how close he came to losing her forever, the guilt threatens to swallow him up, but he doesn’t have time to feel the anguish, because he must save her…

…and he does. Thank God, he does. 

But even if Poe had mated her he would have fought for Rey. He would have taken Poe to court for custody and told the judge what really happened to Rey—that she was assaulted and a victim of forced mating. It’s a hard thing to prove because the system is set up to work against Omegas, but he would have fought as long as it took to have her. 

Even if he had to spend every day looking at the indentation of Poe’s teeth on her neck, Ben would have been with her. 

He breathes a sigh of relief before his lips gently press into her hair. She snuggles even closer to him, mumbling a little in her sleep. She can’t speak to him, she’s so knocked out from exhaustion, but he can feel how much she loves him by the way her body clings to his—holds him deep inside. She hasn’t said it yet, but Ben can feel it. 

“Love you, too, sweetheart,” he says, rubbing her back under the blanket. “You’re mine. You’re mine.”

*****

Ben gasps when he wakes to the whining of his Omega. She’s pushing onto his chest, desperate to get off his knot. She’s not saying anything, just grunting and pressing her hands against him, trying to break away, but Ben’s knot isn’t going down anytime soon. 

“Hey…hey, it’s okay…you’re okay…” 

She doesn’t respond. Instead, she just keeps banging her fists against him and he tries in vain to get her to settle down. 

Ben tries everything. 

He strokes her hair, rubs her arms—nothing is working. Nothing.

Then she does something horrifying. She begins to pull her hair out and smack her face. 

Ben is freaking out.

“Stop, Rey. Please stop! You’re hurting yourself! Please…please!” 

Her hands go from being flat to balling into fists. Ben is stronger than she is, so much stronger, but it’s hard to overtake her because if he moves his knot the wrong way he could do permanent damage to her insides. She may never be able to have pups. 

Then she hits herself so hard that she makes her own nose bleed. At that moment, as if by some miracle, Ben’s knot deflates and he quickly pushes himself up into a sitting position. He remembers the way he hugged her at Olive Garden—as tight as he possibly could. She must be having an episode related to her autism. If Ben knew her heat was coming he would have been more prepared. He would have sat her down and asked her about her triggers and how to make her feel safe and…

…it’s impossible now. 

He’s able to calm her down by cocooning her tightly in his arms. He’s scared that if he lets go, she’ll start hitting herself again, but he’s got to treat her nose. It could be broken. 

“Let’s go to the bathroom,” he tells her. “I need to look at your nose.”

“No…no…” she grunts. 

“Yes, Omega. Come on. You don’t have to walk. I’ll carry you.” 

He doesn’t wait for her to respond—just picks her up and starts carrying her to the bathroom. She seems a bit calmer now that she’s not tied to him, but still irritable, until her nose finds his gland. She sniffs him before kissing his gland with her chapped lips. Ben shivers and feels himself getting turned on. He’s trying to suppress his urges but it’s difficult. He’s got to make sure his Omega is safe before he takes her again. 

Pups. Need pups. Put Omega into the nest and bend her over!

Shit. His Alpha is starting to take over, but he can’t let that happen—not when Rey needs him.  

He places her at the edge of the sink. 

“Lift up your chin, sweetheart.”

She ignores him, choosing instead to suck on his gland, which makes his eyes roll back into his head. 

Wouldn’t it feel good to knot? To breed her? She’s fertile. So very fertile. She smells ripe and ready for the taking. 

“No,” Ben says out loud. “No, I…no,” he says to himself. 

He tries again. “Rey? Baby? Can you please let Alpha look at your nose?”

She ignores him and continues to suck at his gland. Ben feels his body begin to respond and his knot threaten to expand. 

There’s only one way to do this, and he hopes she’ll forgive him for it.  

He’s got to command her. 

“Omega. Lift your head up.”

It’s like magic, the way she stills and leans back obediently. Ben tilts her chin upward with one hand as he wets a washcloth with warm water in the sink. Gently, he wipes the blood away and checks her nose. It doesn’t appear to be broken. 

He kisses the tip of it, and she smiles. It’s the first one he’s gotten since her heat began, and it breaks Ben’s heart a little. 

This was not how their first heat was supposed to go. This was not how their first time having sex was supposed to go either. 

But Ben can still make it special for her…or at least he can try. 

But the first thing he’s got to do is make her feel comfortable. It must be very hard to have autism and deal with a heat—very physically stimulating, and Ben isn’t surprised at Rey’s behavior. But every person with autism is different. He needs to find out specifically how Rey handles her heat…

….and unfortunately that involves calling Maz. 

It rings only one time before she picks up. 

“Yello?”

“Maz? It’s me, Ben Solo…Rey’s boyfriend?”

“Hey, kiddo! How’s the trip goin’? Rey doing alright? That kid promised me she’d call, but she still hasn’t. Put her on the phone.” 

“I…I can’t.”

“You what young man?”

“I can’t because she’s in heat, and I swear if I had known this would happen I would have never taken her on the trip, but it’s happening and I don’t know what to do! I can’t get her to calm down without using a command, and she’s gone completely mute and…”

“Slow your roll, Prince Charming. You do what I tell you to the ‘T’ and you’ll be just fine. You need to put on Judy Garland's greatest hits as loud as you can without the neighbors complainin’. Let it play on a loop. It’ll help her nerves settle. Then you gotta keep her clean. She takes enough showers during a heat to hold the Titanic up. Now…it’s hard enough gettin’ her to eat normally, and during heat it’s near impossible. But she will eat if you give her peaches. Hates them when she’s out of heat, loves them during heat. Can’t explain it—never could. And grilled cheese sandwiches, but only with the cheap American slices—not Kraft, but the store brand. You got it?” 

“Yeah. Yeah I got it. Anything else?”

“You got a weighted blanket?”

“Um…no. No I don’t.”

“You’re gonna need one. Want me to drop hers off?”

“No, no. I’ll buy one. She’s my Omega. I’m going to get it for her.” 

“Atta boy! You take care of my little Rey and listen…if you want to conceive the best position is…”

“Okay thanks Maz, BYE!”

Ben hangs up. That would have been mortifying if he wasn’t so worried about his mate. 

His mate. His mate that he’s going to take care of. He’s going to show her he is worthy to take care of her. No matter what it takes.  

Ben is her Alpha. 

“Come on, sweetheart,” he says, lifting her off the counter. “Let’s fly over the rainbow…”

Chapter Text

Heats are dreaded by all Omegas. The tortuous cramping, the hot, unrelenting fever, the need to be knotted and filled, are all taxing and emotionally draining, not to mention highly inconvenient. 

The same has always been true for Rey, but even more so because of her autism. All of those horrible experiences that all Omegas are subjected to are aggravated to the fullest extent possible. Rey’s cramps are more than intolerable—they are strong enough to make her pass out (which has happened a handful of times). Her fever always feels several miserable degrees higher than it actually is, and her bosses are even more unfeeling about her taking heat leave because they are already perturbed over her autism. 

And Leia, she already seems to be unhappy with Rey, though Rey is still at a loss as to why. But in the midst of this cloud of lust, Rey’s anxiety over losing her job almost distracts her from the biological task at hand—almost—

—because the incandescent joy of being tied forever to her Alpha, her Ben, far overtakes some silly, dull desk job that can easily be replaced. Her employment is a blip on the radar. 

Rey is his…and even better…he is hers. No other Omega can take him away from her! It’s forever! The bond is unbreakable.

And she had been so worried about whether Ben would ever want pups! Now he has to want them because they are mated. If he wants her for life, surely that means he wants to have children with her!

Rey is overjoyed. It feels like her entire life has lead up to this very moment—to this bed and this wonderful Alpha—

Forget your troubles, c'mon get happy

You better chase all your cares away

Shout "hallelujah", c'mon get happy

Get ready for the judgment day

Ben is on top of her, the heavy weight of his body pressing her into the mattress, as he moves inside her. He had previously been very gentle with her, barely letting his skin touch hers—but Rey protested. She hates that sort of sensation—like the feel of velvet under her fingertips. It causes an uncomfortable shiver to rattle her nerves. She needs a firm pressing, and Ben is giving it to her. She can barely breathe, but it’s euphoric. His skin is so fused to hers it’s as if they’re one person. Well, they’re mates aren’t they? Of course they are one.

Alpha is grunting in her ear, huffing into her sweaty shoulder. Rey’s just lying there, letting him tend to her every need. He’s put a Judy Garland record on at high volume, and Rey closes her eyes and lets the vibration sink into her brain. She stares at the popcorn ceiling and counts the little dots, breathing in a way that a pregnant woman in lamaze class would. The sex does feel nice, and with Ben’s help she’s actually been able to relax and just sink into her heat. As long as she does her breathing exercises and commun…communicat…comm…

“Ahhh…” 

A rush of dopamine floods her system as she comes, her toes curling behind Ben’s strong thighs. He follows closely behind, just as vocal, moaning obscenely into her neck. 

“Alpha…” she cries, brain trying to process it all. She begins to feel overwhelmed, but Ben doesn’t let her fall into the abyss. As his knot blooms deep inside her, he licks her gland until she calms, letting her rest her lips against his cheek. 

Ben, who is greatly out of breath, pushes up with his arms and hovers over her. His face is sweaty. Rey can see that the tips of his sideburns are clinging to the skin by his ears. It looks as if he’s been running a marathon.  Rey hates running or any other kind of exercise. Perhaps that is why her thighs are so thick and her behind so….plush.

“Are you okay?” Ben asks, brushing away the sticky strands of hair clinging to Rey’s forehead. 

“Ben…I don’t like exercise, do you?”

“Exercise?”

“Yes. I hate exercise. I don’t like to be dirty or sweaty. It makes me very uncomfortable. I especially hate when it’s hot outside and someone expects me to go out in it. Sometimes it gets so swelteringly hot in the house during the summer that I find myself in my bedroom most of the day. Maz hates air conditioning because of her arthritis.”

“Oh. Are you over-heated? Would you like me to run a cold shower for you?”

“Ben, my thighs are very fat. I don’t like them. They sweat in the summer and cling to Maz’s plastic porch chairs, and I have some very unsightly cellulite that is quite unattractive. I would appreciate it if you would not touch or look at my legs.” It has always been an insecurity of hers.

“I think they’re beautiful,” Ben says. “I always have. Of course, everything about you is beautiful.“

Surely Ben is lying. Rey’s legs are not objectively beautiful. They aren’t thin and feminine and perfectly smooth.

“Perhaps you just mean my face? I have pretty eyes and Rose tells me my dimples are endearing, but otherwise my body leaves much to be desired.”

”But I thought you felt comfortable in your body?”

“Generally yes, but…but…” But now there is so much more at stake. Ben is her mate and if he hates her body, she will have to live with it the rest of her life, so naturally all of her flaws are floating to the surface. 

“You, Omega, are perfect in every way—every bit of you. I would like to touch you everywhere, but I understand if you don’t feel comfortable.”

Rey blushes and shrugs. She doesn’t know why he would want to do that, but he is her Alpha—and he is very kind and considerate to ask her permission. 

“You can touch me. I don’t mind,” she answers, shyly biting her lower lip.

Ben scoots down her body and slides down to the edge of the bed, where he sinks down to the floor onto his knees. He grasps her ankles and pulls her body down to meet him. Oddly, Rey recalls her first visit to the gynecologist as Ben widens her legs and puts her on display for him. It is not nearly as traumatizing as letting Dr. Carnie examine her. 

Soft, wet kisses tickle her thighs, as she realizes that Ben is doting on her, his mouth traveling down her sticky thighs, getting closer and closer to…

He kisses her…there…and that’s all it takes for her to climax again…

…but this time, it is not enjoyable. Far from it. 

Rey does not know if it’s because she already came not two minutes ago or if it’s due to the new method Ben is using, but she does not like it—not one bit. Her hands ball into fists over the coverlet and shake. She squeezes her eyes shut as hard as she can to keep from crying out, because Ben is now licking her and that might even be worse than his kisses.

Warm tears leak out of her eyes as she tries to count…one…two…three…but it’s not working. This horrible jittery sensation is still buzzing in her brain, and she thinks she might pass out. 

Ben must sense her anguish, because he immediately stops what he’s doing and climbs back up the bed, cupping her cheek. 

“Omega…what’s wrong? What did I do?”

She grits her teeth. It’s very hard to speak. She tries to force the sound from the back of her throat, but nothing happens. Nothing happens! It’s so frustrating because she needs to tell him that she can’t stand to be touched, but she can’t…get…the…words…OUT.

“Is it your stomach? Do you need my knot again? Does it hurt? You can just shake your head ‘yes’ or ‘no.’ Do you need my knot again?”

She shakes her head ‘no.’ 

“Okay…are…did that not feel good? Was it too much?”

Rey is so scared to admit it to her Alpha, but it was too much. Other Omegas in heat would probably love what Ben did. They would probably be begging for more, but Rey can’t. She just can’t be normal and she hates it. SHE HATES IT. 

“What about a shower? Are you hot? I can run you a cold shower and have food ready for you when you get out.”

A shower? Yes, that would be perfect, but not cold. Not cold! But how does she tell Ben? 

What an idiot! Her phone! 

“Mmpfff…mmm…” She can't get the words out. She points toward the dresser where her phone is. Ben’s eyes, onyx black, follow hers to his sleek, modern dresser. ‘Oh’ he mumbles, walking stark naked over to her purse. Rey can see the reflection of his…his cock…bouncing in the mirror, his dark pubic hair framing it nicely. Ben smells dewy and fresh and clean everywhere, but especially there. Rey hasn’t put her mouth on him but she would like to—but that wouldn’t exactly take care of her cramping stomach—would it? No, she has to be knotted to stop that. 

Well—the only thing that would stop this wretched heat would be for Rey to get pregnant, and that very well could happen because she isn’t on birth control and Ben isn’t wearing a condom. He can’t wear a condom because his knot would break right through it. There would be no point. The gynecologist Maz drug Rey to kept bringing the pill up over and over and Rey just didn’t get it. She wasn’t in a relationship, and never thought she would be, so why would she need to be on it? And Dr. Carnie kept implying that ‘this is what is best, considering.’ Considering what? 

But now Rey has a mate and she doesn’t have to worry about stupid birth control because Ben as the Alpha will expect pups. The only situation in which he would be unhappy would be if she couldn’t give him babies. But Rey will try her best. For now, though, she desperately needs a shower—and then maybe she can do the certain thing to Ben that she’s been thinking of. 

Ben rushes over with her phone and hands it to her. 

Rey: I need a hot shower. Very hot please. By myself. 

“Oh,” he says. “By yourself? You’re sure?”

Rey: yes, please. And I need a clean towel and my shampoo and conditioner. Do you have the brand I like?

“What brand?” 

Rey: Pantene Rose Water

“I'm sorry, Rey. I don’t, but I can order some right now. What if you get in the shower in the meantime?”

Rey: You can leave me here alone to go and purchase some.

“Sweetheart, there’s no way I’m leaving you alone. What can I do?”

What can he do? There is nothing he can do because Rey wants to take a shower and she needs to shampoo and condition her hair, then wash herself with a bar of Dove soap, then wash her hair again. So she can’t get in the shower if things aren’t going to be done properly. But she needs a shower now! 

Ben is holding his phone, typing something. Wait! Does he have glasses on? Oh my, they look very nice! They are thin frames, but still noticeable. He looks very handsome, and Rey always thought Ben was handsome, but this is a new development, and her cunt throbs just thinking about Ben taking her with those glasses on. 

How does she communicate that she would like him to have sex with her with his glasses on? 

Her stomach, unfortunately, does not care for manners or politeness. There is no such thing, so when Rey finds her voice again, she utters the most humiliating thing imaginable:

“Please…please have sex with me with your glasses on, Alpha.”

Rey rolls over and gets on her knees, widening her legs and resting her head on Ben’s pillow. She can feel a fresh, thick flow of slick drip down her thighs, and a strangled sound climbs up Ben’s throat. 

“I…are you…are you sure?”

“Please?” she asks. 

“Of course. One sec…I’ve gotta order your shampoo…”

“And conditioner and Dove soap. I need the bar please.”

“Okay…okay…and…I’ve got it. It’s ordered. So…yeah…can I…”

He comes to the bed and climbs up behind her. She feels his hands grasp her hips, but it’s too gentle. 

“Can you grab hard? Can you go fast?”

“Yes. I can. Just tell me if I’m hurting you.”

He wets himself with her slick before piling inside her, and oh it feels so much better. He feels so good! She wants him to be inside her always. He’s warm and thick and everywhere, and…it’s not so much the sexual pleasure as it is the closeness. Rey finds it difficult to be physically close to people. She worries she’ll be hugged or kissed or touched in a way that will make her skin crawl—but with Ben? He seems to always know just how to touch her, and if he doesn’t he asks. 

Ben thrusts into her at a steady pace, his hands sliding from her hips up to her hanging breasts, squeezing them in his big palms. Yes, this is good. This is very good. Much better than when he was kissing her in other places. 

“Omega, you…you feel incredible. You feel amazing. You are amazing.”

Rey turns her head sideways and sees Ben’s flushed cheeks, his glasses shifting with every thrust. He’s so beautiful.  She imagines staying home with their pups and greeting him at the front door when he comes home from work. He’s got a suit and tie on…a navy blue tie…a white button-up shirt…black belt…he takes the pup from her arms and kisses her on the lips…he tells her she’s pretty even though she’s an absolute mess. They have dinner at the table together. Rey breastfeeds the baby, and Ben takes care of their toddler. After the kids are put to bed, she lifts her gown and climbs into his lap in their bedroom and takes care of him, just as she does every night…

Her orgasm shoots through her so unexpectedly that she smothers her face into the pillow and cries out as his knot unwinds and locks inside her.

“Thank you, Alpha. Thank you for giving me pups. I wanted them so much. You’re such a good Alpha. I’m so happy I married you. I love being your wife.”

Ben’s roving, warm hands stop. He clears his throat and wraps his arm around her stomach, making them slowly collapse onto the sheets. Ben settles in behind her and says nothing.

Rey bites her lip and snuggles closer to him, but he moves away. He must be very hot. She holds his hands against her belly and sighs happily. 

“Perhaps I’m bred…or I will be soon,” she says, trying to catch her breath. “Alpha you will…you will be an excellent father. I have no doubt of that. You’ve taken such good care of me. You will take very good care of the babies too. I am sure of it.”

He says nothing. When Rey turns her head back, she sees that he’s fallen deeply asleep. Odd, since his eyes seem to be shifting under his eyelids, but perhaps he’s dreaming. 

Chapter Text

When Ben finally hears Rey’s quiet snoring, he opens his eyes and lifts his hand from her stomach to take his glasses off. He reaches behind him and sets them down on the bedside table. He wipes the sweat off his face before wrapping his arm around her again. He shifts his head backward on the pillow to give himself some breathing room.

Ben strokes his fingers through Rey’s disheveled hair, lightly, to keep her from waking up. She’s been through so much, emotionally and physically. He can’t imagine how overwhelming this whole experience has been for her. 

Judy Garland is still playing in the background at an unreasonable volume. He should really get up and turn it off while Rey’s sleeping in case his neighbors complain—and it would probably be a good idea to order more groceries and get them organized. 

But he can’t yet—not until his knot goes down, and that may not be for a while. 

But Ben doesn’t mind. It feels so perfect—so right to be locked inside her—like their bodies were meant to be fused together. Their compatibility shouldn’t be so surprising, based on every article written on designation he’s read, but living it is different—so much more intense. 

This is supposed to be the climax of their relationship and the height of their happiness, but it’s tainted. Poe Dameron poisoned everything pure and lovely that would have made mating with his Omega for the first time a loving, bonding experience. It would have been more romantic and less clinical. Ben would have had more time to research how autistic Omegas go through their heats and more importantly how Rey does. Everything has been so rushed. Mating should be a little chaotic, but not because Ben is driving his mate over black ice to protect her from another Alpha. 

A predator. 

If Ben could choke Poe again, he would— happily. The man kept pushing Rey over and over—stepping over all of her boundaries despite how clear they were laid out. 

Just the memory of the silent terror in Rey’s eyes as she lied under Poe is enough to make Ben furious all over again. And to think that his own mother probably orchestrated the whole situation makes him want to…

No. He’s not going to be violent anymore. Rey is probably scarred for life after seeing Ben throw Poe against the wall of the cabin. 

He snuggles up against her and sighs into her hair. She’s safe now. Nothing like that will ever happen to her again. Ben will die protecting her if he has to—and now because they’re mated, he has a legal right to her too. Any Alpha that attacks her would be in mortal danger because Ben would be able to kill them with no legal repercussions. 

She huffs in her sleep and presses his hand into her belly. She could be ovulating now. He could be making her pregnant. How does he feel about that?

He searches his heart for the truth. He feels..he feels…

Euphoric. 

If Rey is pupped, everything he has always secretly desired will have come true. Those nights lying in bed, dreaming of some imaginary girl he could marry and raise a family with—a girl that could look past his moody exterior and see the person deep down inside—someone who wants what everyone else does—happiness. 

He’d pretended to be asleep because he knew if he joined her in the ‘pup’ conversation she would never go to sleep, and she needed her rest. 

Ben feels a heavy yawn crawl up his throat and leave his mouth. Maybe he needs to get some shut-eye too—especially if he’s going to keep up with his Omega.

His.

“I love you,” he whispers, kissing the back of her head. 

Sleep claims him quickly. 

*****

Upon waking, Ben rubs his bleary eyes with his free hand and checks the clock on the wall. It’s late, and he’s still exhausted. The sun has set, leaving a black night sky. Distantly, he hears the sound of people talking out on the sidewalk a few feet away from the apartment building. The street light on the corner is glowing orange over the parking lot. 

Rey is not in bed. 

Abruptly he sits up and rubs his eyes, as if clearing them would reveal a hidden Rey, but it doesn’t. 

“Rey?”

He hears no response. 

His anxiety rises as he throws the comforter off his legs and hustles into the living room. The sight before him is…confusing. 

Rey is pacing back and forth, chewing on her thumb nail, while speaking to herself, mumbling under her quick breaths. Ben smells intense anxiety filling the room like hot air in a balloon. 

“Omega?”

She doesn’t even look up—just keeps mumbling to herself with a crazed look in her eyes. As Ben steps closer, he manages to understand what she’s chanting. 

Unclean. Unclean. Dirty. Stuck. STUCK. Trapped.  

“Did you need to shower? I can run it for you. Just tell me what to do. I can take it with you…I can give you space…anything…”

She looks up to the ceiling and large puffs of air escape her mouth, reminding Ben of a train puffing out smoke as it makes a steep climb up a mountain. 

Ben grabs her shoulders and tries to catch her eye, but is unsuccessful. 

She growls at him. 

He takes a step back, hands in the air in surrender. “Okay, okay. Sorry, but I need you to tell me what’s wrong so that I can help.” So that he can stop feeling like a failure as an Alpha. 

Tears form at the corners of her fevered eyes as she clenches her fists at her side and stares at the floor, looking as if she’ll explode like a volcano at any moment. 

Take control. 

Ben’s Alpha inserts himself into the conversation, and his skin feels like it’s melting away as his designation takes over. It’s as if he’s been dormant, but now the wolf inside him is awake and ready to take control. 

Without any hesitation, he grabs Rey and lifts her into a bridal carry, hands tight under her thighs and back. She sniffles as he takes her to the bathroom. He sets her gently onto the counter. 

“Stay here. Don’t move,” he says. She obediently nods while Ben turns the shower on. It sprays cold for a moment but heats up quickly, the water stinging his hands. He turns the heat down a notch and finds it perfect now—hot enough for her, since she prefers a scalding shower during her heat. 

“Stand up,” he says, and she complies. “Turn around.” She turns and faces the mirror. Gently, he pulls the hair-tie from her tangled hair and rubs his fingers through. It’ll be easier to wash if it’s not as knotted. 

She’s already naked, so he takes her hand and instructs her to wait until he can go get the stuff he ordered for her. He doesn’t even bother putting a robe on, just opens his front door and grabs the bag of shampoo, conditioner, and soap. Looks like they got everything right. 

She’s still waiting obediently for him in the bathroom, no longer crying. Her cheeks are pink, but the tear-stains are gone. She’s calming down. Good. 

He steps in first and offers his hand. She trustingly takes it and follows him in. He shuts the glass door behind them and carefully places her fingers under the spray. 

“Okay?” he asks, referring to the temperature. 

“Hotter,” she says, waiting patiently as he turns the dial over the red a little more. Steam rises as she runs her fingers under the water again and nods her assent. 

He guides her under the water and wets her hair, before squirting the rose shampoo in his hand. He lathers it up and massages it into her head. She doesn’t appear to be bothered or triggered by his actions, just calmly lets him take care of her. 

After rinsing the shampoo out, he covers her hair in conditioner and lets it sit while he takes the Dove bar and lathers it up into a clean washcloth. Alpha tells him to start with her feet and clean every crevice. The Omega cannot relax until she is clean and she must relax if she’s going to conceive a healthy pup. 

He lifts her right foot then her left and scrubs the bottom of her feet…then up her calves and her muscled thighs (still beautiful, in his opinion) and between her legs, but gently because she’s very sore there. Next is her tanned, flat stomach and her freckled chest. He gently runs the cloth over her breasts, not really thinking about sex, but how pretty her body is—how lucky he is to have her. 

It’s time for her arms. He instructs her to lift them, but she winces. 

Is she in pain?

Ben’s not sure. He remembers her tying ornaments to his mother’s tree, arms stretched above her head, so she must not be in pain. 

A flash of jagged white hits his eyes. 

Scars. 

Scars thick and sharp run like bolts of white lightning over her soft skin. They run from the outside, under her arms and sneak to the back. 

The scars from her childhood—from being locked in a closet with sharp chicken wire under her arms.

But Ben knows the scars aren’t just physical. They live inside her too—in the deepest parts of her that even her autism can’t hide. This is the part of Rey no one has ever seen—the most vulnerable part of her soul. 

Her face is blank, eyes staring straight ahead. This empty look is more concerning than her crying because she looks dead inside. Her garden is withering away, her scent morphing into dead plant life and rotting trees. 

Then he presses his lips to her scarring. 

Gently. Carefully. 

Lovingly. 

He sees her swallow as he tries his way under her sensitive skin. Her eyes close as he takes the washcloth, runs the hot water through it once more, and gently rubs it under her arm. She winces as he carefully cleans her, leaving the fresh smell of roses over her skin. He freshens the washcloth with more soap and does the same with her other arm, but not before kissing the scars there too. 

Omega is damaged. Hurt. A predator. 

Yes, Ben agrees with his Alpha. Humans are the most dangerous predators of all.

He raises his head and tries to look into her eyes, but her hazel orbs are staring at the wall. And then…

…she breaks. 

Her lips tremble as she unleashes a shuddering sob. 

She collapses onto the shower floor and her shoulders shake with her tortured cries.

Ben bends down onto his knees and pulls her up and into his embrace. She clings to him, arms stretching over his wide shoulders.

He picks her up and as she hangs from his neck he turns the water off. After drying them both off, somehow managing to unhook Rey’s grip from around his neck, he lifts her into a bridal carry again and sets her on the couch, covering her with a blanket. 

“Stay,” he orders, leaving her there to change the bedsheets and the comforter. He pulls fresh linen from the hall closet and tucks the sheets under the corners of the mattress. 

When he returns, he lifts Rey into his arms again and places her gently onto the edge of the bed. He grabs a towel from the bathroom and squeezes the excess water out of her hair before gently combing through it with his own brush. If his strokes bother her, she doesn’t let on. 

He finds her hair tie on the floor of the bathroom and ties her hair half-up as she normally does, but this time he also braids the rest, tying it off with another hair-tie he finds at the bottom of her purse.

Next, he gently rolls her into the sheets— cocooning her like a caterpillar. The only part of her that’s visible is her head. 

He pulls her in close and ignores the rising  need in his body to knot her. Sex isn’t the answer right now. She needs intimacy…connection…

Unconditional Love.

Chapter Text

It feels like two anvils are attached to Rey’s eyelids when she wakes. Having a heat always drains her body of every last drop of energy, and she hoped that by being with an Alpha this time, it wouldn’t be so bad—in a way, the symptoms are worse—as if her body knows there is opportunity to get pregnant this time and is working overtime to make it happen. 

Ahhh Pups. Beautiful, smart pups with pale skin and black hair. They will be lovely. 

Yes, Rey agrees with her Omega. Ben is so handsome that surely his much better looks will override Rey’s plain ones—well, perhaps hers are not very plain, but compared to him she pales in comparison. 

She snuggles deeper into her cold pillow and sighs, tracing his fingers that are pressed at her waist. For once in her life she’s completely comfortable. She’s physically comfortable and mentally comfortable. Ben showered her so well. He used exactly the right temperature—almost scalding hot—and he didn’t even complain! 

And the way he kissed her scars—this is a moment Rey will treasure forever—a rose that bloomed amongst a thicket of thorns. When his soft lips pressed their billowy goodness onto her raised, white trauma, it was like ecstasy. This is what it means to lust in love. She loves Ben and that love transcends a silly crush or a pull between designations—her body wants to fuse with his because her soul has already climbed up into his, like vines crawling up a pure, white trellis.  That white trellis is Ben’s glowing, moonbeam skin and his long strong arms are the branches. 

Together they will create beautiful pups—a bouquet of gardenias, a bed of little rose buds that Rey can tend and care for so much more than her parents ever did—and if they have autism? She will guide them like a lighthouse on a rocky beach or the Blessed Mother cradling her Savior. Rey will be what she has always been meant to become, something she was so wretchedly denied: 

A loving mother. 

And Ben will be a loving father. She has no doubt of that. 

“How are you feeling?”

Rey tingles from head to toe when she hears Alpha speak into the quiet, calm bubble they’ve been nesting in. He pushes up onto his elbow and leans over her. 

“Very well, Alpha,” she says, trying to speak the way a girl normally would after going through heat. Is this what lovers do? Is this how they talk? What else should she say? She forges ahead. “I believe my cramps have subsided and that my heat fever has broken. That means my hormones will begin to settle normally in the next fifteen hours. Can you imagine Teddy Roosevelt having a heat? He found it very humiliating. His asthma was already quite the hurdle to overcome, as well as the discrimination he faced as a male Omega.”

Ben smiles and strokes through the curls that have circled Rey’s forehead like a crown. The little flyaways were always a nuisance growing up. No matter what she did, her hair refused to lie flat in humidity. 

“And his wife? What was she?” Ben asks. 

“Alice Hathaway Lee? She was an Omega.”

“And his second wife?” he asks.

“Oh! You mean Edith Carow. She was a Beta—a very bland-looking woman with whom Teddy shared a rekindled childhood romance.”

“It's very sad that his first wife died.”

“Yes. It is. Mating with Alice was considered taboo, and it was believed that they would never have any children, but miraculously, they did. They had a daughter who lived with TR’s older sister Bamie. Little Alice was very beautiful, like her mother, and quite precocious.”

“Do you know who else is beautiful?”

“Do you mean Dolley Madison, Ben?”

“No. I mean you.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you. May I kiss you, Rey?”

“Yes, you may.”

He does so much more than kiss her. 

Her Alpha climbs atop her, spreading her legs wide so he can rest between them. Oh. This feels very nice. It’s then that he smothers her face in kisses as soft as butterfly wings—and Rey is an open flower, her arms and legs the delicate petals opening under the sun. And then as Ben opens her lips to dip his warm tongue against hers, her stomach swells and her slick flows easily down her legs like fresh nectar. 

She needs him—her Alpha. 

When he slides inside her, he doesn’t do it slowly or carefully, but hard and quick, just the way she likes it. Her nerves can’t handle soft and sweet right now, but because Ben is obeying her every wish, it is sweet. He makes her feel so cherished—and most of all, worthy. Most of her life, Rey has been made to feel like a nuisance—a hindrance to someone else’s happiness and a burden to be borne. Ben doesn’t treat her that way, no. He wants her in the same way she wants him, and it’s miraculous. 

After they both come down from reaching new heights, Ben doesn’t leave her. He presses her body into the bed and kisses her so well that it makes her toes curl over his thick calves. When he swims to the surface for air, he looks down so intensely that Rey feels her tummy do a somersault. His knot is buried inside her, a physical promise that he won’t leave—he can’t when he’s tied to her. 

“Rey…I have something to tell you.”

“Yes, Ben?”

“It’s very important. I don’t know how to say it because I’ve never said it before—to anyone. I’m afraid.”

“Afraid? Why?” This is peculiar. Ben always seems very sure of himself. 

“Because I don’t know how you’ll respond, and I…I don’t want to get hurt.”

“I would never hurt you, Ben. I’m your Omega and you’re my Alpha.”

“You’re really my Omega?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t share my heat with anyone I did not consider mine—someone I did not love.” 

Ben’s jaw drops and time seems to stand still. Rey can't make out his expression. She can only guess that based on his lack of response, she has said something egregious. Oh no, what has she done?! 

“Rey—you—you love me?”

His voice is trembling, as are his hands which cradle her face. This is the moment that she was thinking of in the cabin when…when…when that horrid Poe Dameron attacked her. He tried to rape her and take her for his possession—forever away from wonderful, handsome Ben. 

Her heart is no longer hers—it’s his now, and it’s time she gave it to him. 

“Yes. I love you Ben.” She begins to cry. “I know…I know that I’m not nearly good enough to be called your mate, but I would very much like to be. I never thought I would meet anyone that even wanted to be my friend, let alone my Alpha. I understand if you don’t feel the same way. You probably see me as a silly girl who is too stupid to understand when a boy is just being nice, but I love you.”

It is a great relief to finally make her confession. At least she can die knowing that she took the risk—that she had the rare opportunity to be in love—even if that person didn’t love her back. 

“Rey…”

If possible, Ben sinks even more heavily into her, his knot blooming deeper between her hips. Her legs shake as she climaxes and her arms grab hold of his broad back. He overshadows her like an eagle guarding its precious nest. No one could ever get to Rey with this strong Alpha shielding her. What has she ever done to deserve this? 

“Rey…I’m in love with you,” he whispers, lips resting by her ear. 

“You’re in love with me Ben?”

He kisses her ear and leans up onto his elbow, looking down at her. “Yes, I am. I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, and I know this isn’t the most romantic moment to be saying it.”

Rey hastily sits up, pulling on Ben’s knot, which makes him groan, and insists that he sit against the headboard so that they can be a touch more comfortable. She kisses his face in the same way he kissed hers, scattering little loving pecks on his cheeks and chin. This feels…so comfortable…so very right. 

“It is a very romantic moment, Ben.”

“Really? Because I don’t want you to think I’m just…you know…telling you because we’re having…sex.”

“Oh. Do people do that often?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. That’s the stereotype I guess—that men will lie during sex to get more sex.”

“Well, stereotypes are just ignorant, uneducated opinions or prejudicial attitudes. Just because a  man says ‘I love you’ during sex does not mean he is lying. You are a good man, Ben.”

“I don’t think I always have been,” he admits. “In fact, I’ve had a pretty negative attitude towards everything in my life for a long time, especially when it comes to relationships. I don’t want to end up with someone and be miserable—or even worse, make them miserable.”

“Oh Ben—you don’t seem like a miserable person at all!”

“Really?”

“Yes! You’re very kind and considerate! And you always think of my well-being no matter the circumstance. You remind me very much of Mr. Darcy. He was quite misunderstood too. Have you read Pride and Prejudice, Ben?

“No, I haven’t. I have read Northanger Abbey.”

“Really?! That is my favorite Jane Austen book! It’s quite gothic. I—oh…”

Her stomach twists so hard it nearly steals her breath away.

She yanks at his hair and sensuously rotates her hips. “I’m sorry, Alpha. I don’t feel well.”

He kisses the tip of her nose. 

“Never be sorry for taking what is yours.”

Chapter Text

After seven days of heat, Ben finally wakes to a much calmer, more content Omega. She is lying on his chest, snoring adorably, her hair an absolute disaster. Her lips are chapped, as they always are, but still kiss-worthy—and she’s completely nude. 

Ben didn’t really have a chance to take in her body when the heat began, but now that he is more clear-headed and his anxiety over keeping her safe has waned, he gets his fill. 

Her back is muscled, freckles scattered in random places, and her chest is warm and soft against his. Her breasts he remembers being a bit small, but still gorgeous, her nipples sweet, small, and pink. One of his favorite things to do is to worship them with his mouth, but Rey gets overstimulated and he has to stop, but that’s okay. He doesn’t mind just looking at them. Her thighs are thick and muscled, yet still soft and God if it didn’t make all his fantasies come true when she wrapped them around his waist. 

His favorite part though will always be her hair. It’s always unbrushed, frequently unwashed, and an oily, tangled mess, but it smells like her. There is nothing he loves more than just burrowing his nose into it and drifting off to sleep. 

Which is exactly what he’s about to do. 

Until his damn phone rings. 

And it’s loud.

Rey whines and covers her ears as he frantically grabs his cell phone from the bedside table. 

It’s his mother. And she’s called him fifteen times since he last spoke to her. 

He might as well get this over with now, but not for too long. His Omega is tired and needs to regain her strength. Gingerly, he rolls Rey onto her back and slides out of bed, making his way to the living room so as not to awaken her.

“Hello?”

There’s a whoosh of air that crackles the audio from the other end of the line. Ben braces himself for what’s to come.

“Do you have any idea what you have done?!”

He sighs, already exhausted from the call. “I haven’t done anything to you, Mother.”

“Oh really? Oh okay, let’s see—you pummel my campaign manager to death, you put a hole through my cabin wall—

—are you fucking kidding right now Mom?! Poe was two seconds from assaulting Rey before I did that. I was protecting her, and I had every right to!”

“Did you ever stop to think about protecting me? You want to know what’s happened to my campaign? Hmm? Somehow someone leaked this to the news and now I am the laughstock of my party! All because of that…that girl!”

“Watch your mouth,” Ben warns.

“I said because of THAT GIRL—that girl who can’t even handle being a secretary! Who doesn't follow the simplest of instructions! She comes up here and insults my best friend, who is now not even speaking to me…”

“Oh you mean Peli? Give me a fucking break! She knew..” he lowers his voice to avoid waking his Omega. “She knew Rey was autistic, and still took everything she said personally. If you ask me, she’s the moron. I guarantee you she’s the one that leaked everything to the press.”

“How dare you make such false accusations! Peli and I have been the best of friends for thirty years! She would never do such a horrible thing!”

“And you’re my mother and I never would have expected you’d put your precious career over the happiness of your son but you’ve done it time and time again. I’m through with you, Mom. Rey and I are never going to speak to you again.”

“What do I care what Rey thinks of me? Who is she to me?”

“Your daughter-in-law.”

“Yeah right. You’re not married.”

“No…but we are mated.”

“Excuse me…mated?”

“That’s right. I bit her and she bit me because we love each other!”

“Love each other? Ben, do you realize what you’ve done?! You’ve ruined your life! Now you’re going to be stuck with that silly fool forever! You’ll be nothing but a babysitter! Do you know what it’s like to live with someone like Rey? Do you? You may have the energy to deal with her now, but what about when you have pups? Will she even be able to take care of them? Can you even trust her to be alone with them? You can’t! You’ll be stuck carrying the entire load of your relationship and you’ll burn out, Ben. I love you too much to see that happen. I’ve always said I wanted you to be happy, and I still do. And now you’ve thrown everything away!”

“No, I haven’t! For the first time in my life I feel loved—unconditionally—and that’s a hell of a lot more than I can say about you. You never wanted me. You even admitted it!”

“So you’re just going to use Rey to fill the void that I created in you, is that it? Is that fair to her, Ben? That you’re using her to feel like the self-confident Alpha you already should be? Mating her was the biggest mistake you’ve ever made. You may not see it now, but eventually you will.”

Leia ends the call and Ben rolls his eyes. His mother has always been a drama queen, but this time she was shooting for an Academy Award. She talks about Rey as if she's a burden. That’s bullshit. If anything he’s a burden to her—not nearly good enough for her. But he’s going to spend every minute of the rest of his life proving himself. Nothing will ever change his mind about her—his love. 

He can’t wait to get back to her. 

“Rey?” he whispers as he walks down the hall. Will she be awake now? He’d love to make her breakfast and give it to her in bed. He can make blueberry pancakes and bacon and anything else she wants because she’s not a burden. Ben will do it because he loves her. 

And now he can finally tell her whenever he likes. And she’ll always be his—forever. No other Alpha can ever steal her away. 

He pushes open the bedroom door with an eager smile…

…but sees no Rey in bed. 

She’s probably just in the bathroom. Maybe she needs some space. He hopes he hasn’t irritated her by being loud on the phone. He should really start to monitor the volume of his voice. In fact, he should sit down and have a talk with Rey about all the things he can do to make her life—their life together—more comfortable. 

He sits on the edge of the bed and notices it’s pretty quiet. There’s no light on under the bathroom door. He rapts gently on it, but no one answers. 

Where is she?

He goes out to the living room as if she’s going to be there, when obviously she wasn’t before. 

“Omega?”

He sniffs the air around him. Her scent is still in the apartment, but it’s not her. He can tell the difference. Panic courses through him as he races back into the bedroom and dials her number on his cell phone. It rings and rings and Ben swears he’s having a panic attack when finally she answers. 

“Hello?”

“Rey, thank God. Are you okay? I was on the phone with Mom and came back and you weren’t here. Where are you?”

“I am sorry, Ben. I cannot be your mate anymore.”

His stomach churns with dread. “What? What do you mean? Did I do something wrong?”

“I cannot be your mate, Ben. I am sorry.”

“But…but what are you talking about?! What happened? Why can’t you?”

“I heard what Leia said on the phone. She was very upset, and I do not want to ruin your relationship with her.” 

“Rey I don’t give a fuck about her. I care about you. I love you!”

Her voice breaks. “I love you too, but I took advantage of you. I assaulted you. I am no better than Poe Dameron.”

“Rey, that's crazy! You’re not like him at all! I wanted you to mate me! Otherwise I wouldn’t have bitten you back!”

“You said you were not ready for a girlfriend, and I ignored you. I was very disrespectful to you, Alpha. I’m sorry. I will get the bond removed as soon as I can.”

Ben panics. Bonds can be removed if caught early enough. It’s only been a few days since he bit her. 

“Rey, please! Don’t do this! I want you to be my mate! I thought you loved me!”

“I do love you, Alpha, which is why I should have just stayed away from you. You should be with a normal girl who does not have to be babysat. Leia was correct. You do not understand what you are doing. I won’t make a good wife. I’m like a kid you’ll have to take care of, and you will be miserable and hate me, and Ben I do not want you to hate me!”

“I would never, ever, hate you, Rey! You’re the love of my life! You’re the only love of my life. I don’t want anyone else but you! Stop infantilizing yourself! You’re so much more than your autism!”

“I know, but it won’t be enough! All my quirks are novel and fascinating to you now, but they won’t be in ten years. I could not bear to make you unhappy Ben. You don’t deserve that.”

“Rey, I want you…I…I need you!”

“You shouldn’t.”

“So what about what happened this week? That means nothing to you? We…had sex and you don’t care about me at all?”

“I am saying this because I love you.”

“I guess it didn’t mean anything did it? Do you know I’ve never done that with anyone? Do you know how difficult it’s been to open myself up to someone after shutting everyone out all these years? And now you’re just going to show me I was right all along by breaking up with me? You’re not even doing it face to face!”

“Alpha, I’m sorry. I was just scared you might command me to stay.”

“Are you serious? Why would you ever think I would do that?! Don’t you know me at all?”

“Because you did do it! During my heat! I haven’t forgotten!”

“Rey, you were hurting yourself. I had to find a way to stop you! I’m not going to let you suffer!”

“I have to go, Ben. I am home.”

“I’ll call you later, okay? Just…please don’t sever the bond.”

“I have to, Alpha. It’s the only way.”

She hangs up and Ben tries to call her back, but she’s blocked him. 

He throws his cellphone against the wall, making the screen shatter. His back hits the wall and he slides down to the floor where he hangs his head and cries.

Chapter Text

Ben stares at his computer screen and tries to will himself to open the first helpdesk ticket of the day, but his mouse doesn’t move. He disassociates, staring at his inbox that just keeps filling up. Who cares about hooking up printers and resetting phones? It’s all stupid bullshit. None of it matters. Nothing matters anymore and it never will again. He might as well just quit this worthless job and hide in his apartment like a recluse. He has a trust fund. He can get away with it. But he was saving most of it for the future—to buy a house and new car—set up a whole new life—but that’s no longer in the cards. Life is utterly meaningless. 

“Excuse me.”

Ben doesn’t bother looking up from his computer. He recognizes the fake, syrupy voice of his co-worker, Linda. What the fuck does she want? 

She clears her throat. “Pardon me, but I would like to know the status of my ticket.”

“What’s the ticket number?” Ben asks, forcing himself to move his mouse. 

Linda huffs. “Well, I don’t know. Can you look it up by name? It’s Linda Wellman—W-E-L-L—

—no. I need the ticket number,” he says, again. How many times must he repeat himself? Does this boomer bitch not get it? Why are they always so damn lazy and demanding? What is this, the gift-wrapping counter at JCPENNEY? 

She crosses her arms over her tubby belly, swishing her ugly earrings over her wrinkled neck. Her coral-manicured toenails tap in her sandals. The rules in the office state no open-toed shoes, but do they think they’re going to stop Linda? Fuck no! She’s been here thirty years! She’ll do what she wants!

“I don’t understand why you just can’t use my last name to look it up! How hard is it to do that?”

Ben grits his teeth.

“Why don’t you just tell me what the issue is now and I’ll see if I can help,” he says with a slight tone of sarcasm.

“I don’t know why you couldn’t have offered that to begin with,” she says, scowling with her thick jowls swinging like a turkey’s. “But if you must know, I can’t convert my Word Document into…um…the Adobe…thing.”

No. No fucking way. This cannot be happening. 

“You mean to a pdf?” he asks, hands shaking under his desk, fighting the urge to choke this stupid bitch. 

“Whatever! You knew what I meant. I need it fixed now because I have a meeting in five minutes and—

—fuck this!”

Ben has had enough. He cannot take anymore of this fake bullcrap. 

Linda very dramatically rests her hand over her sagging bosom. “You can’t speak to me that way! I’m going to HR!”

Ben throws his bag over his shoulder and grabs his keys. 

“You can do whatever the fuck you want. I’m done.”

Ben shoves past her and he can hear her sandals flopping under her chunky feet as she follows after him. Despite Ben literally quitting right in front of her, she’s still harping on how offended she is. 

“How dare you curse at me like that!” she squalls. “You’re so unappreciative! All of you young people! Just ungrateful!”

It feels so good to slam the door on her stunned, ugly face. 

Ben doesn’t need the job. It’s a major waste of his time. It was always dull, but wasn’t so bad when he knew at lunch time he could…

He throws his bag into passenger seat and slams the driver side door shut. For a moment he just stares into space. He turns his head and sniffs his neck. Gardenia. 

Omega.

Ben suppresses the lump in his throat. He’s so tired of crying over this. It’s been a month already, and his Alpha won’t let up. 

Great. Now that he has no job, he’ll have plenty of time to think about his mate. 

His mate that wants nothing to do with him. He must be the first newly mated Alpha that hasn’t seen his Omega for such a long time period. What a loser he is. Of course it wasn’t going to work out. Why would it? The universe hates Ben and always has. 

When he gets home, he sinks into his reading chair in his apartment and stares at his phone, hoping that somehow Rey has gotten his new number and wants to reconcile. But she doesn’t. 

Maz answers the phone one time, but thinks that it’s better to leave Rey alone. She’ll come around once she’s had a chance to take everything in. She’s autistic! Give her a minute to adjust, young man!

That’s not fair! Just because Rey has autism doesn’t mean she can treat him like this. He’s a person with feelings and he deserves love and respect.

And she’s had more than a minute to adjust. She doesn’t want to adjust. Maz doesn’t get it. Rey broke up with him and Rey wasn’t even in the room. 

He gives up on trying to read and lies in bed with the lights off in the middle of the day, burrowing under his comforter. He has no interest in eating lunch or dinner. 

His phone buzzes in the living room, but he doesn’t care. No one he loves is going to call him. Not anymore. 

*****

Weeks go by and Ben does nothing but lie in bed and use the restroom. He orders food, but can barely keep it down. All he thinks about—all he dreams about is his Omega. How is she? Is she healthy? Is she eating enough? Getting enough sleep? He’ll never know, will he? He has a mate that doesn’t want him. No one ever does. 

*****

Ben really doesn’t open his mail, but one day, he notices an envelope a little different than the rest, with no window and addressed in pen. There’s no return address. Hope gets the better of him. He thinks maybe, just maybe, Rey has reached out to him. 

He opens the card and pulls out a letter. 

Ben, 

I’m writing to you because I can’t seem to get through on your phone. I hope you’re feeling okay. Your father told me Rey broke up with you. I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine the pain you must be going through. Rey was never a favorite of mine, but I can see looking back how much she meant to you. I’m sorry if I offended her or you in any way at the cabin. 

Please accept this picture as my apology.  

Hope things get better for you. 

Peli xoxo. 

Ben is numb. He doesn’t care that she’s apologizing. She acted like a baby, crying over someone merely giving their honest opinion. She’s weak. 

She says she’s enclosed a picture. Where is it? Oh. Looks like it fell to the floor. He bends down and picks it up. 

And he drops the useless letter and clings to the photograph like a lifeline. 

It’s the picture taken by Peli at the cabin of Rey and Ben, Ben kissing the top of her head, his arms wrapped around her. She’s smiling contentedly against his chest with her eyes closed. 

Ben can’t help it when he starts to cry. He misses Rey so much that he can barely breathe. He thinks about every wonderful moment with her—the sex during her heat, the car ride to the cabin, the first day they met when she hugged him. 

“Omega,” he cries pitifully, brushing the picture with his finger. “I love you. I’ll always love you. You’re the most beautiful girl in the world, and I’ll never stop loving you. I’ll always be your Alpha. Always.”

He frames it and he places it on his bedside dresser, staring at it whenever he’s awake and dreaming about it when he’s asleep. 

*****

Ben thinks a lot about pups. He never wanted to have them before, but now it’s all he can think about. He wonders if Rey is pupped from the heat they shared. It’s highly likely. Would she tell him if she was pregnant? Is that the kind of person she is? 

It might be. She made the decision to break up without him. Maybe she’d give up their pup for adoption too. 

Is his mother right? Is Rey capable of taking care of children? Ben’s gut says yes, but his mother has all these negative thoughts going through his head. She’s ruined everything. She always does. 

But Rey fell for it. She dropped Ben so fast it took the wind out of him. 

*****

Another month goes by and Ben is taking a nap when someone knocks on his door.

He ignores it and closes his eyes. 

Again, a knock at the door. He ignores it again.

Then a bang at the door. 

Seriously? Fuck this. 

He climbs out of bed and screams a very impolite GO AWAY to the person on the other side. Unbeknownst to him, Han Solo is that person, and he has no patience for Ben’s drama queen behavior. 

“Kid—if you don’t open this door and at least let me see you’re alive, your mother will call the police and they’ll have you committed. You’ll be out in a straight jacket and put in a padded room. Does that sound like something you would enjoy?”

Yes, Ben answers in his head. It would be perfect.

The only issue is that when Leia makes a threat like that, she always follows through. Not that she cares what happens to him. She just needs him for something. Ben is sure of it. He knows how she operates. 

He throws open the door and refuses to look his father in the face. But as he turns around, Han grabs his arm. 

“Get the fuck off me!”

“Son…”

“How dare you come over here! You’re like Mom’s fucking lap dog following all her commands! Isn’t it enough that I’ve lost the only person that’s ever loved me? Do you have to come over here and throw it in my face that you only care to be here to get out of the doghouse you’re always in? Well fuck that. And don’t think I’m coming to your wedding either because we both know it’s bullshit.”

“HEY. Watch it, kid. You don’t know a thing about our marriage.”

“I know enough.” Ben jumps up from the couch and heads back to the bedroom to lay down. Eventually his father will give up and leave. It’s what he always does. For once Ben wishes for it. 

Han sits on the other side of the bed and sighs. 

“Why do you think that Rey is the only person that loves you?” he asks. 

Ben shrugs. “Because Mom only wants me when it suits her career and you only want Mom.”

“You seriously think that?”

“I know that.”

“Boy we fucked you up, didn’t we? Look I didn’t just come over here for your mother. I came to find out what’s going on with you and this girl—

—my wife.”

“She’s not your wife, unless you want to tell me you eloped.”

“She’s my mate. It’s the same thing.”

“There’s a difference between being a mate and being a husband, Ben. That’s something it took me thirty years to learn. It shouldn’t have, but it did. I was tied to your mother physically, but not in any other way. I closed my heart off to her. You know it’s not easy for me to talk about this sort of thing.”

“You don’t get it, Dad. I love her and she’s my mate, but she doesn’t want me.”

“No, there’s a difference. She doesn’t think she’s good enough for you. I heard about the text you sent your mother. Leia said it was her fault?”

“Rey heard what Mom was saying to me on the phone.”

“So?”

“So that’s why Rey left.”

“Well why the hell didn’t you run after her?!”

“Run after her?! Why would I? She didn’t want me! She abandoned me!”

“Jesus, did you ever stop and think that maybe she wanted you to come after her?” 

“I did. I tried calling her and she blocked me. I’ve called Maz a dozen times.”

“Have you gone over there? Have you knocked on the damn door? She wants you to show up for her! Do you even understand all the childhood bullshit she’s been through? Because I didn’t understand your mother’s. That was the problem. She wanted to know she wouldn’t be abandoned. That’s why she kept pushing me away. It wasn’t because she didn’t want me there—it was because she was testing me. She was waiting for me to show up, and I didn’t. It took me thirty years to learn that lesson. I don’t want you to go through thirty years of screwing up like I did. I could have been happy that whole time. It was a fucking waste.”

Ben thinks about everything Han is saying and strangely he can see the logic in it. Ben thought that because Rey is autistic that space was the most important thing, but not in every circumstance. Rey is a person like any other person who just wants to be loved—who wants to be fought for. 

What a fucking idiot Ben is. It seems so obvious now. 

“Think about what I’ve said. I know I don’t deserve to have you in my life, son. I’ve completely screwed up. But I want to make it right. And, uh…I really like your girl. She’s pretty incredible. Certainly gives your mother a run for her money.”

Ben smiles for the first time in a long time. 

“Yeah she does. But…she said she would get the bond removed,” Ben says. 

“You would know if she did. You’d feel it. She doesn’t want to break things off. I know you’ve never had a reason to trust me before, but I’m hoping you will now. You’re my son, and the last thing I want is for you to be unhappy.”

It’s hard to believe—kind of impossible—but Ben actually thinks his father is being genuine. 

Maybe he’s right. Maybe Rey is just waiting for him to prove himself. 

“You know—I used to think your mother and I had something special,” Han says, looking at the photograph of Rey and Ben on the bedside dresser. “But our relationship pales in comparison.”

Han pats Ben’s legs over the comforter and walks out of the bedroom and out of the apartment. 

Chapter Text

“Come on, now. You’ve got to eat. I mean it little girl.”

Maz stands in front of the stove where she’s made a valiant attempt to cook, but her mashed potatoes are lumpy and covered in a blanket black pepper. She’s burnt the biscuits again and now she’s trying to shove a piece of dry turkey into Rey’s mouth that’s been frozen for God knows how long in the spare fridge in the garage. Rey holds her hands over her ears and shakes her head. 

“Kid—if you don’t eat, I’m gonna have to do something drastic and exhausting like take you to the emergency room, and you don’t have insurance anymore so that’s not an option.” She puts a cigarette in her mouth and lights it. Her red lipstick smears around the tip and her red nails flick cigarette ashes into the ashtray on the kitchen table. 

“‘Course,” Maz continues, “we could just toss the bills in the trash, but who wants all that junk mail? Not me!”

Rey stares at the cheap, vinyl tablecloth and says nothing. She stopped talking a long time ago. And she doesn’t have insurance because Leia fired her. Tahiri is the new secretary. 

Alpha…Alpha…Alpha…

That stupid voice in her head won’t let up and it hasn’t since she left Ben’s apartment that day. Now it just plays in a despondent loop, pushing her to find her mate and make things right again…

…but she can’t. 

“Kiddo—did you hear what Maz just said to ya?”

Rey looks down at her plate and her stomach churns as she takes in the lumpy potatoes and dried-out turkey. She’s been throwing up a lot. Someone at the community center told Maz that separation for a newly-mated pair can cause physical symptoms in the Omega, like nausea, migraines, anxiety and depression. Rey can check each of those boxes. 

Right now, Rey is checking the vomiting box. 

She runs down the hall to the bathroom and throws up in the toilet. She cries when it’s over, desperate for Alpha to come and take care of her. 

Our Ben would be gentle with us. He would run a hot shower and braid our hair and kiss our forehead. 

Rey feels so empty inside. So empty. 

She ignores Maz’s pestering and decides to go back to bed. Maybe a nap will make the nausea go away. She tells herself that, but she knows the only cure is her Alpha. 

*****

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Rose asks. “I don’t think you’ve really thought about how you’re going to feel when you see your mother again. I think you have this expectation that somehow if you exchange a few pleasantries and get everything off your chest, this issue with Ben will be resolved too, and I just don’t think it’s going to improve the situation. What if it makes things worse? What if your Mom is even crueler now than she was when you were little?”

“I have considered all the possibilities, and I am ready. Besides, statistically speaking, people do soften in age and are more likely to be remorseful about their past shortcomings. It’s highly likely that I will receive an apology.”

Rose’s eyebrow lifts skeptically. 

“But will an apology be enough? I don’t think so.”

“I do not care what you think, Rose. You are my friend and I love you, but the only reason you are coming with me is because Maz made me take you—

“I know, I know,” Rose says, throwing up her hands. “I just don’t want to see you hurt. You’ve suffered enough, and on top of your heat and all the issues with Ben, well—oh wow.”

As they round the corner, the  penitentiary comes into view, large and imposing, representing every nightmare Rey has ever had about her parents. 

Rose waits in the car and Rey turns and smells the dewy scent at her gland from Ben’s bite. It is probably better that he is not here. Rey has to do this on her own. It was her childhood, no one else’s. Still, she doesn't see any harm in inhaling that fresh smell to bolster her spirits. It’s like he’s right there next to her, ready to defend her. 

Once she’s gone through metal detection and several doors, she’s shown into a long, narrow room split in two by plexiglass. The guard escorts her down to the end and directs her to sit on the hard metal stool screwed into the wall. 

There is no one on the other side yet. 

“Excuse me,” she says. “My name is Rey Kanata and I am here to visit Mara Palpatine.”

The guard ignores her and walks away. He must be very busy. 

Rey waits there, deciding to take out her phone to distract herself. She is tempted to unblock Ben and reach out to him, but she really shouldn’t go back on her word. It would be like she was playing a game with him. So she opens a book on her kindle, and sits there for about thirty minutes, when a metal door squeaks on its hinges. 

Oh. 

Rey hardly recognizes her, but then again, how often did she actually see her mother? 

Mara is shorter than Rey. Her brown hair is permed and combed into a ponytail. It looks as if she’s crinkled some cheap hair product into the ends of her curls. She’s heavier than Rey, maybe thirty or so pounds, and her chest is much larger. Her eyes are dark brown and pencilled with thick black eyeliner. Her lips have some metallic color on them and there are little hoop earrings climbing up her ears. 

“You from the church?” she says, staring at Rey with her dead eyes. 

“No, I am—

“I thought some guy was coming from the church or something. You’re telling me you’re not from the church?”

“No. I am your daughter, Rey.”

The name doesn’t seem to phase her. 

“My daughter? I don’t have a daughter.”

Rey is very perplexed. “Yes. I’m your daughter. You locked me up in a closet with chicken wire.”

“I think you’ve got the wrong person, honey.”

“Is your name Mara Jade Palpatine and is your birthday April 17th 1961?”

The lady says nothing, so Rey is forced to continue. Perhaps her mother simply has no recollection, or maybe she does, but does not believe Rey is the same girl? But how can that be?

“Hey!” Mara yells to the end of the room. There’s an older lady there who waves back. They begin to have a full on conversation over everyone’s heads—something to do with commissary or money or—Rey has no idea.

“Mom? Mom, I—

—hey look I’ll be in the kitchen tomorrow so I’ll see you then,” Mara yells to the lady, completely ignoring Rey. 

“Pardon me, but I have something to say,” Rey tells her, but Mara, whose attention is now back on her visitor, shakes her head. 

“Sorry, hon.’ I don’t know what to tell you. I’m not your Mama.”

Rey is simply dumbfounded. 

“According to Maz, you are the correct person. Her records have indicated that you are in fact my mother. Not only that, but I recognize you, though you look quite different.  You have gained about twenty pounds. There are large bags under your eyes and I don’t recall you having a cheap perm, but perhaps my memory is serving me incorrectly. Your teeth are worse. They are yellow and uneven—

—I am NOT your mother, you freak!”

“Yes, you are.”

“Alright then—prove it.”

Rey takes out her birth certificate, and holds it up to the glass. 

“So? You could’ve faked that.”

“I think you mean ‘doctored’ it, which would be extremely difficult for me to do. It is highly unlikely that you are not my mother. I have come here today because I would like to know why you put me in that closet. What did I do to merit such a punishment? You see, I think it would be beneficial to know because your poor decision making has affected my relationship and I thought it would be wise to try and address the issue at the source.”

Mara abruptly stands and places her hands down flat on the counter beneath her. She leans over and her brown eyes pierce Rey’s. 

“I am not your mother, you stupid bitch.”

“You are my mother, and—

“Fine! Yes! I’m your mother! Happy? You wanna know why I locked you in that closet?! Because I had to look out for ME! Whenever Sheev would get sick and tired of listening to you, he would blame me! He would hurt ME! And by God you never shut up! My life would have been perfect if I had never had you! I wouldn’t be stuck in this fucking prison paying for everything he made me do! If I couldn’t make you behave he would punish me for it! Now I can’t even be with him! He’s miles away at the men’s prison, and I’ll probably never see him again! All because of you.”

Rey is so taken-aback by the lack of remorse—the cruelty lacing every word that comes out of Mara’s mouth. 

“So…you…you are not going to apologize to me?”

“Apologize? The way I see it you should be apologizing to me! If I didn’t have a retard for a kid I wouldn’t be here. You deserved to stay in that damn closet because you were an animal! I should have gotten rid of you when I had the chance!”

“But Mom—

—don’t call me that and don't ever show your face here again, because I won’t see you!”

“But—

The stool on the other side squeaks as Mara stands up and walks out of the room. 

Rey is speechless. 

This went far worse than she could have ever imagined. 

Rose was correct. Mara was not apologetic and not only that, she heaved even more abuse on Rey, with no hesitation whatsoever. 

What exactly had she expected to happen? Will Rey ever be good enough? Will anyone ever not see her as a burden? Shouldn’t she just live alone so that Maz doesn’t have to put up with her anymore? And shouldn’t she stop being friends with Rose, who has to constantly deal with her lack of social skills? 

Stupid Rey. Stupid, stupid, stupid. 

When she slides back into the passenger seat next to Rose, she puts her head down, completely disgraced and embarrassed because she was foolish enough to think she would walk out with a new mother. 

“What happened?” Rose asks softly. 

“Mara states that she was not my mother, and when confronted with the truth she finally admitted our biological relationship, and said that I ruined her life.”

“Excuse me—that you ruined her life?! You can't be serious!”

“I am very serious, Rose. She confessed that she should have gotten rid of me when she had the chance.”

“When she had the chance? What does that mean?”

“I do not know. Perhaps she meant having an abortion or abandoning me somewhere and leaving me exposed to the elements. Frankly, I believe she is correct. I should have never been born. I have been such a burden to everyone.”

“How can you say that, Rey? You are never a burden. You are a blessing to everyone who is privileged enough to cross your path! Don’t believe anything that woman says!”

“I just mated and my Alpha wants nothing to do with me.”

“Rey, you left him!”

“But he didn’t follow me, Rose! I suspected he would because of how much he said he cared, but he didn’t even bother to try and see me. He was pleased  to finally be rid of me. Now he can get the bond removed and have a second chance. He deserves a normal girl, not some…some…RETARD like ME!!!”

Rey collapses in on herself and crosses her arms over her tummy. She rocks and cries and feels salt and snot and saliva running down her face. Rose is saying something, but Rey can’t bear to listen. Eventually, Rose decides to just start driving. The entire trip is a blur, and by the time the car stops Rey is a shell of who she once was. 

Rose cannot get her out of the car, so Maz has to come out and it takes a long time before Rey can calm down enough to start walking, but she never raises her head. 

“Come on, baby,” Maz says. “Let’s get you in bed.

The closet is where she belongs. She deserves to be punished for being such a burden to everyone. She doesn’t deserve a bed. Beds are for normal people, not unwanted things like her. 

Maz and Rose stand in the doorway of her bedroom and watch her throw all of her blankets and pillows out of the closet and curl up into a ball in the corner. All that lies beneath her is the hard carpet. She buries her face against the closet wall and welcomes the memory of sharp metal pressing under her soft skin. 

You deserve it. You deserve it. 

She wants to die. 

Distantly, she registers that Maz and Rose have left the room. She slides the closet door closed and curls in on herself. 

Time goes by, infinite—never ending—one second that lasts a lifetime. Rey is no longer Rey. She is a thing that must be locked away from society. 

Suddenly the closet door slides open and Rey flinches, the muscles in her exposed back spasming. She braces herself for the punishment to come.

Her nostrils twitch and her gland tingles. 

The scent of fresh Spring dew fills the closet. 

Two strong arms turn her body over and lift her into the air. She is swept out of the closet and into her Alpha’s arms. He squeezes her to him so tightly that she can barely breathe—

—yet somehow this is the first time she’s been able to breathe in months.

“Alpha,” she croaks. “You came.”

“Sweetheart…I love you. I’m here. I’m here, Omega.”

“Put me back in, Ben…I don’t deserve to be loved.”

“You’re never going back in that closet again,” he says. “Because you’re with me now, and you always will be. Do you hear me, Rey?”

She’s unable to respond because the relief at finally being held by her Alpha again is too great. Her nervous system immediately levels out and her lips move to his gland, smelling it. Is this really happening? 

“Alpha, I’m sorry. I don’t want to entrap you. You should be with Tahiri. She is much better and it would make Leia very happy. You should have the bond removed and marry her.”

“I can’t marry her because I already have a wife—or at least I hope I do.”

Ben lowers her to the ground and Rey is utterly bereft. She doesn’t want to leave him. 

He bends down onto one knee. 

“Ben, please pick me up again?” 

He clears his throat and looks deeply into her eyes. 

“Your eyes are very brown, Alpha,” she observes. 

He takes her hands in his, before resting his hands over her hips. 

“Embrace me…my sweet embraceable you,” he sings. The tips of his fingers dip into her hips and pull her closer. “Embrace me…you irreplaceable you. Just one look at you, my heart grew tipsy in me. You and you alone bring out the gypsy in me.”

“Ben—you are singing! Although, you are not in tune.”

“Oh, let the man sing! Who can compete with Judy?!” Maz says. “Sing it, son!” she says, shaking her fist in the air. Rose is standing behind her with a warm smile. 

His hands reach around and lovingly stroke over her behind. 

“I love all…the many charms about you. Above all…I want my arms about you.”

“They are, Ben,” she says, giggling. 

“Don’t be a naughty baby…come to Papa, come to Papa do…my sweet embraceable…you.”

Maz and Rose clap, but Rey isn’t sure why. It wasn’t very good singing, but she does love the way Ben’s hands feel. 

“You are not a good singer.”

“I know,” he says with a grin. “I have something for you.”

“For me, Ben?”

He leans to the side and picks a wrapped box from the floor. It’s not wrapped very well. 

“This is your Christmas present. Open it.”

For a moment, Rey relives the horrible trauma of that trip, but when Ben rubs the back of her thighs, she immediately forgets it. 

She tears open the paper and a book is revealed! Oh she loves books so much! How thoughtful of Ben!

”It’s a copy of Theodore Roosevelt’s diary. Maz told me you didn’t have it.”

“Oh, Ben! This is the best gift I’ve ever been given! Even better than the bobble-head you gave me!”

“I marked a diary entry. I want you to read it.”

”But I’ve read all of TR’s diary!”

“Just read it, and I’ll tell you why,” he says. 

Rey is confused as to why she should read something she’s already read, but for wonderful Ben she will do anything. 

JULY,          SUNDAY 4.       1880.          

Church in the morning. In the afternoon, I took my darling a long and beautiful walk through Fleet’s woods. In the evening, we went down to the dock.

How I love her! And I would trust her to the end of the world. Whatever troubles come upon me—losses or griefs or sickness—I know she will only be more true and loving and tender than ever; she is so radiantly pure and good and beautiful that I almost feel like worshipping her. Not one thing is ever hidden between us. No matter how long I live I know my love for her will only grow deeper and tenderer day by day; and she will always be mistress over all that I have.

“That’s about TR’s first wife, Alice Hathaway Lee,” Rey says. 

“Yes,” Ben says. “And that’s how I feel about you, sweetheart. I never wanted to be in love. My whole life all I knew about love was that it could hurt. People, even with the best of intentions, can cause the people they love pain. But if you really love someone you fight for them. You show them that love is worth it because you can’t imagine spending your life without them.”

He fumbles around in his pocket and pulls out something small. It’s a ring! The band is thin and gold and it’s topped with a beautiful flower with white petals. 

“It’s a gardenia. The petals are made of opal and the leaves are emeralds. The center is a small diamond. I spent my whole trust fund on it…well most of it…but it’s supposed to be for my future family anyway, and well…you are my family, or at least I hope you’ll be because I love you, Rey. From the moment I met you I pretty much knew you were it for me. There is no woman like you in the world. You're absolutely beautiful inside and out.”

“You are proposing marriage to me, Ben?”

“Yes. You’re my mate, but I want you to be something far more important. I want you to be my wife and the mother of my children.”

“You…you would trust me with your pups?”

“Rey…I don’t trust anyone else with them. Only you.”

“In that case may I please have the baby sleep in our room? It greatly reduces the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome and promotes bonding between parents and child. After six months we can consider putting him or her in their nursery, and if—

“Kid give the man an answer!” Maz yells. 

“Oh…sorry Ben. Yes, I will be your wife, but can I tell you something?”

“Anything,” he says. 

“I apologize for leaving you and for making you cry. It is very important to me that I take responsibility for my behavior. I do not want to treat you the way my mother treated me today. You are—

—your mother? You saw your mother today? What did she do? Tell me, Rey.”

“Oh, she said—

“Dear God, youth is wasted on the young!” Maz says. “Are you gonna kiss and make-up or not? This is a classic Hollywood moment!”

Ben takes her hand and slides the ring up her finger. 

“It’s very pretty, Ben.”

“Not as pretty as you, Omega.”

He finally gets back into his feet and Rey stands on her toes and throws her arms around his neck. Ben kisses her passionately, not even caring that Rose and Maz are watching. His warm tongue dances with hers, his arms giving her body no space between them. She feels happy tears stream down her flushed cheeks. 

When he’s done claiming her, he kisses the bite mark on her gland and his forehead touches hers. “Mine,” he whispers. “You’re all mine.”

“I love you, Ben,” she whispers against his lips. 

“Woo-hoo! Let’s party! Come on kid,” Maz says, wrapping her arm around Ben’s waist. “Let’s pop open a bottle of gin and boogie!”

Chapter Text

When Maz opens the door, Ben expects her to slam the door in his face—but when she grabs his hand with her bony one (cigarette in the other, of course) and drags him upstairs he knows something is terribly wrong. A young woman is on her knees in front of Rey’s closet trying to coax her out (Ben learns her name is Rose), but no matter what she says, Rey refuses to even move, let alone speak. 

Ben’s Alpha immediately springs into action, pulling her out of her nest of horrible childhood memories and up into his embrace. 

Now, they’re in their own little paradise, slow dancing to some of Maz’s old big band records, while Rose and Maz relax on the couch. They’ve been celebrating Rey and Ben’s reunion with cocktails (Ben of course was offered a gin and tonic, but politely refused). Maz has had God knows how many bloody Marys. 

But Ben doesn’t care how many people watch him, because he only has eyes for his Omega. She still hasn’t been specific about what happened at the penitentiary, but Ben won’t push her. It’s her story, and she can choose not to tell it—even though Ben is dying to know so that he can rectify the situation. 

But it’s just not the right time or place. He’d like to hear the story when they are alone. In fact, he’s ready to go now. It’s been an emotionally draining day and he’d like to take his Omega back to his nest and get her settled for the evening. 

“Rey? Would you mind at all if we call it an evening?”

Her head rises from his chest and she sighs. “Yes, Ben. I’m afraid all the excitement of our engagement has left me quite exhausted.” She yawns. “When will I see you again? I would like to start planning the wedding. I know what kind of dress I would like but Ben what colors should the flowers be? And would you like a black or white tuxedo?”

“Well—I actually wondered if you’d come home with me for a while.” He plays with the strands of her hair. “I’ve missed you.”

“Yes, I’ve missed you too, Ben.” She presses up onto the tips of her sneakers and puckers her lips. Ben bends down and gives her a kiss. Rey runs up to Maz, who’s currently bobbing her head to The Andrews Sisters, cigarette in hand.

“Maz? I am going to spend the night at Ben’s apartment. I’ve missed him a great deal and do not want to be separated from him.”

“Course you do, kiddo! You spend as much time as you want with your Alpha. Old Maz here is going to be just fine.”

“Yes, thank you Maz. It would make me very happy, and I would very much like to have sex again, and I cannot do it here because I am too loud and you would hear everything. That would be very embarrassing.”

She runs up the stairs and Ben’s cheeks must be tomato red. 

“Sweet Jesus,” Maz says. “Always knew that girl would go from zero to a hundred once she found a mate. Listen here Alpha—you take care of my girl and ugh…you be sure to bring her back to me in one piece.” She winks and Ben is desperate to leave before his head explodes from the mortification. 

“Okay I am ready!” 

Rey comes down with a full backpack and her Bull Moose Party bag. In her other hand is her bobble-head that Ben bought her—the one that used to sit at her desk at Leia’s office. Ben is still furious at his mother for firing her, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg with Leia. 

“Kid, where you goin’ with that toy of yours?” Maz asks. 

“It’s not a toy, it’s a collectible and I am going to put it on my side of the bed. Ben I would like my side to be on the right and yours on the left. And I will need the temperature to be no higher than seventy-three, otherwise I would become too overheated. And I need—

“Kiddo, you don’t go into someone else’s house and make demands,” Maz says, correcting her. 

“It’s not just my place,” Ben says. “It’s hers too. She’s my Omega. Everything I have is hers.”

Rey giggles. “That’s true Ben, though one day I think we should buy a house for our pups. Six pups won’t fit into your tiny apartment I’m afraid. One, perhaps.”

Ben gulps. “Six?” One pup is fine, maybe two, but six?!

“Yes. I’d like to have as many as TR. Would you like boys or girls, Ben?”

“I would like either,” he answers honestly. He takes her backpack and throws it over his shoulder, opening the front door for her. He finds the idea of pups with Rey a nice one.

He’s taking his Omega home. Finally.

*****

The very minute they step inside the apartment, Ben drops her bag onto the hardwood floor and sweeps her into his arms, making her laugh. 

“Ben, where are you taking me?”

“To the bedroom. We have some making up to do, sweetheart.”

“Yes, we do. But Ben, can we talk first? Can we sit on your leather couch?”

“Of course.”

He sets her down gently and after she declines a drink, he sits down next to her and holds her hand. He’s so fucking relieved she’s here and that they’re together. His life was so empty without her. He really felt like there was no point in going on. If he hadn’t taken action when he did…

“I have something very important to say.” Rey sits up straight and lifts her chin, her countenance somber. Completely relaxed, Ben leans against the cushion, his hand stretched behind her on the back of the couch. 

“I…I…” Her breathing picks up and she squeezes the fabric of her dress into tight balls. Ben leans forward and rubs the surface of her hand with his thumb to comfort her. 

“It’s okay, sweetheart. Just take your time,” he says. 

She nods and swallows and then to Ben’s utter shock, begins to cry. Oh no! What is wrong? 

“I am so- sorry…Alpha.”

“What are you sorry for?”

“I am sorry for walking out on you during my heat. It was a very cruel and heartless thing to do. You are the best Alpha and the most…the most wonderful person I’ve ever met. I treated you like…like my parents treated me.” She hides her face in her hands and her shoulders shake.

“No, Rey. No, I won’t allow you to think this way. You are nothing like your parents. Do you understand?”

She sniffles and shakes her head. “Just…just because I have autism does not mean I can be cruel, and Ben you would have never done that to me. You are the kindest, most understanding Alpha and—

—it’s okay Rey. I accept your apology.”

“You…you do, Ben?”

“I told you I did when I was proposing didn’t I?”

“Yes,” she agrees. “You did, Ben.”

“Then everything is okay. This is what a marriage will be like. We’re going to have fights and that’s fine as long as we talk about it—as long as we don’t give up on each other. I think that’s why my parents’ marriage failed. They didn’t communicate. Instead of trying to fix the problem, my father just…walked out on my mother. He didn’t even try.”

“I will always try, Ben. I promise I will always be honest with you about my feelings. I am very hurt about what happened with Mara Palpatine, but I am glad I visited her because I can see that abandoning the people you love is not the answer. Did you know that TR abandoned Baby Lee when she was born? He couldn’t bear the grief caused by the death of his wife. Ben—if I die in childbirth, will you promise not to abandon the baby?”

“I promise. I would never do that. My family would be everything. It is everything, and it always will be.”

He strokes his fingers behind her ear and brings her mouth to his. Kissing her again is like putting an oxygen mask on. He can finally relax now that he has her back. He can finally be happy again, truly happy. He doesn’t even care about his mother or father or his loneliness—he’s on top of the world with his Omega at his side. 

“Come to bed,” he whispers into her mouth. “I want you in the nest. I want you safe. I just want to hold you.”

“Okay…Alpha…”

They both rise from the couch and Ben picks her up. She wraps her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. As they enter the room, Ben stops in his tracks because he has forgotten about the picture on his nightstand. What if it brings up the traumatic memory of Poe at the cabin?

Rey gasps. “Ben, where did you get that picture?!”

“Peli mailed it to me. Rey if it makes you up—

—oh, that’s so kind of her! Do you know what I was thinking, Ben? I would like to take Peli and Chewy to Olive Garden! In fact, I would like to have our wedding reception there. Maz won’t be pleased, but she will make the sacrifice for me.”

Not for the first time, Ben is stunned at Rey’s kindness. Peli’s behavior at the cabin was absurd, but Rey doesn’t see her any differently. 

Ben really did pick the perfect woman to be his mate. He is her opposite: impatient, vengeful, selfish, violent, pessimistic—what in the world does she see in him? He’s never going to take her for granted. 

“I’m so sleepy, Alpha. I would like to lay down and watch TV. Can we have makeup sex later?”

He completely understands. Right now he just wants to hold her. “Do you want to change clothes and get more comfortable? We can watch The Roosevelts.”

“That’s a fantastic idea, and I would like to eat—

—Taco Bell?”

“No. I would like to order from the steakhouse you mentioned when you gave me a ride home from your mother’s event. Do you remember, Ben? You wanted to take me out to a restaurant but I wanted Taco Bell.”

How could he forget? “I remember.” He opens his Uber app and tells her to pick whatever she wants (which ends up being a New York strip, fries, a Caesar salad, and a Shirley Temple) and he gets a filet mignon because why the fuck not? He’s engaged to the love of his life and they’re finally in bed together. The only thing that would make the evening better? Knowing a pup was coming. But they have time. They can wait. 

Once he finds the remote, he navigates to the documentary and puts it on. After they change into their respective t-shirts and shorts, they climb into bed and Rey cuddles up to him, resting her head on his chest. A few minutes into the movie, Rey asks:

“Ben? What do you think about the name…Kermit?”

Chapter Text

“Harder, Alpha.”

Ben is more than happy to oblige. He grabs her hips and pulls her to him. He loves being close to her like this, even if it’s rushed and literally ten minutes before his parents are supposed to have their vow renewal (guests are literally sitting in their seats on the back lawn waiting for the bride).

She shifts on her hands, head almost hitting the closet wall. 

“I am…I am going to climax, Ben…it feels…”

A loud whine escapes her lips as she comes around him. His knot blooms and he groans. It feels just as incredible as it did when they had sex for the first time. He wants to keep moving inside her but they can’t stay here all day and Rey would be overstimulated.

“I very much liked that, Ben. That felt really nice. Did it feel nice for you too? Judging by the way you sounded just now, it was pleasurable.”

“Yeah,” he says, trying to catch his breath. He kisses the back of her head. “It was.” He wants to stay in this closet with her forever. She may be mated, but it was only a month ago that they reconciled. He wants her all to himself. It’s hard to share. Ben’s always been selfish with the things he loves, and he loves Rey more than any person or thing in his life. 

The door to the closet shifts when someone knocks on it. 

“Hey kids.” It’s Han. “You done in there yet? We have a wedding to start.”

“Shit,” Ben mutters. He can’t exactly get up and dress yet since his knot has to go down first before he can address this situation. 

“Mr. Solo, Ben’s knot has to deflate first and then we can come out. Fortunately I am already dressed, which is why we had sex because Ben said my ass looked spectacular in my dress.”

Ben’s cheeks could not be redder. 

Han chuckles. “Understood. Just do me a solid and come out when you can kids. Can’t be in the doghouse on my wedding day. And daughter-in-law—you call me Dad, not Mr. Solo.”

“Okay, Dad!” Rey says. “We’ll be out in approximately six to eight minutes.”

Han mumbles something under his breath and walks out of the room. Ben snuggles even more into his mate, his nose running along her gland. The scent there is different now—still floral, but now laced with a bit of morning dew. His instincts tell him to lick, so he does. Omega squirms on his knot and comes again. He huffs an ‘I love you’ into her hair. She grabs his hand and brings it to her mouth for a kiss. 

*****

In typical Leia-fashion, the wedding is an elaborate affair (the word ‘spectacle’ comes to mind for Ben). The ceremony is taking place in the rose garden behind the governor’s mansion, very different from the hastened wedding at the courthouse where Leia drug Han when she was pregnant with Ben. This, Ben imagines, is the wedding his mother always wanted, and he’s genuinely pleased for her. He’s still disgusted by the way Rey was treated at the cabin last Christmas, but Rey has been so kind and forgiving that Ben can find no excuse to continue to cut off his mother. 

If Ben is like ice, Rey is like the sun. She’s so warm that she melts even the hardest heart—and that includes Leia’s. The governor will always be wary and a little irritable, but she’s accepted that Rey is sticking around. 

Rey and Ben sit in the front row. Han is yanking at his shirt collar, sweating in buckets. It probably doesn’t help that he hates being around all of Leia’s political friends. 

He shuffles over to where Ben is sitting and leans over. 

“Glad you could finally make it,” he tells them. “I’ve only been baking in the hot sun like a damn hot dog on a grill.”

“We apologize, Dad,” Rey says. “I am not particularly fond of this weather myself. It’s quite miserable. I’m very glad our wedding was in the winter. Aren’t you glad for that, Ben?”

He looks down at her engagement ring nestled against her wedding ring and brings her fingers to his lips. “Very glad. Though I’d marry you in any weather.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s you, sweetheart.” 

The string quartet begins to play the wedding march, so Han gets back into position and wipes the sweat from his forehead. 

“Good luck!” Rey tells him. 

He winks. “Thanks, kiddo.”

*****

Ben is incredibly thankful the wedding ceremony is only fifteen minutes long. Being out in the sun in a tux is not pleasant. The wedding reception is still outside, but under the shade of white silk tents and he can take his suit jacket off. 

He leads Rey over to their table, which they’re sharing with Chewie, Peli, Bazine and Hux. A server comes by and pours them each a glass of water. 

“Beautiful wedding,” Peli says. “Leia just looked radiant didn’t she?”

“Makes me remember the first one,” Chewie says. 

“You were there?” Hux asks. 

“I was the witness and best man. Han was a damned nervous wreck. He could barely repeat after the judge. Glad he did better today.”

Bazine leans back in her chair and crosses her legs. “So, Benny. What’s it like to be there for the wedding this time? Weird to see your parents get married right in front of you?”

“Oh, he was there the first time, alright,” Chewie says. “He just wasn’t born yet. Boy Leia was excited. She was jabbering away about how she’d just decorated the nursery and how she was so happy the baby was a boy. Said she hoped he was just like her father. I know they had their problems, but Leia’s father meant a great deal to her.”

“I’m not entirely sure I lived up to the expectation,” Ben says. 

“No, you didn’t,” Chewie says. “You exceeded it.”

Ben doesn’t know what to say. The old him would have become morose even hearing this discussion. But now he has enough self confidence to know it doesn’t matter whether the comment reflects the truth. He deserves to be loved unconditionally. Rey has shown him that. 

“Well he certainly exceeded expectations when he married this lovely lady,” Hux says. “How is married life treating you, Rey?”

“Oh, wonderfully! I moved into Ben’s apartment. It’s very comfortable! And I have plenty of room for all of my collectibles, except for my reborn dolls. Many of them are not finished and they will have to stay in my bedroom closet at Maz’s for the time being. She would have been here today, but she was not feeling well, though she seemed perfectly healthy to me when I spoke with her over the phone.”

Hux pats Ben on the shoulder. “And is this grump giving you any trouble?”

“Why would Ben give me trouble?”

“He’s just joking, Rey,” Bazine explains. “He doesn’t know how to construct a sentence without it being sarcastic.”

“Oh! I apologize. It can be difficult for me to detect sarcasm.”

An elderly gentleman with very refined white whiskers in a sharp black suit approaches the table. He taps on Rey’s shoulder. “Young lady!”

Everyone at the table looks his way. Ben is on alert, ready to protect his wife from this old curmudgeon. He places his hand on Rey’s thigh to soothe his nerves. Rey, however, is unfazed by the man. She turns around in her seat and smiles. She seems to recognize him. 

“Hello Mr. Ackbar! How are you?”

“Not very well,” he grumbles. “I’m still waiting for the certified mail I requested. Very unlike you, young lady. You are always on top of things.”

“Oh, Congressman, my apologies. I am no longer employed by Leia. There is a new secretary at her office now.”

“What?!” he shouts, making everyone flinch. “Why on earth aren’t you working there anymore?”

“I was fired, but it’s okay because I—

“LEIA!”

Oh no. 

Ben winces when his mother hears her name. She excuses herself from her table with Han and glides over to Rey and Ben’s. 

“Congressman Ackbar! Thank you so much for attending the wedding. Han and I appreciate—

—why was this girl fired?”

Leia’s eye twitches. Uh-oh. 

“You mean Rey? You misunderstand. Rey resigned from the office because she was recently married, and to my son, Ben!”

Leia is very well-versed at being a politician. She knows how to hide her true feelings. 

“Don’t give me a story! I want this young lady back to work! I don’t know who has taken her place, but the new secretary is an absolute imbecile!”

“I’m very sorry. Mr. Ackbar,” Rey says. “But Leia is correct. I am married now, and aside from that, we had a falling out over her employee, Poe Dameron. He—

—Rey and I will discuss it, Henry,” Leia tells him. “I’m sure that she will be more than happy to come back to the team.”

“But Leia, I can’t go back—

She’s cut off when the sound of a champagne flute grabs everyone’s attention. It’s Han. He’s standing on the dance floor in front of everyone. Leia hurries back to her seat with Mr. Ackbar yapping at her heels. A hush falls over the tent. 

“I’m not really the kind of guy who likes to give toasts. Hell, I’m not even the kind of guy who likes putting a fancy button-up shirt on, let alone a tuxedo. But for my wife I’ll pretty much do anything. Otherwise, I’ll be in trouble.”

The crowd chuckles softly and Leia winks at him. 

“I just wanted to tell my wife how much I love her. I know that she’s heard me say it for thirty years now, but I want to say it again. We’ve had our ups and downs. God knows we’ve had our screaming matches. But through it all, this incredible woman stood by me. She loved me despite how much bullshit I put her through. It, um—

He begins to tear up, and Ben can’t lie. It makes him emotional. 

—it’s incredible we’re here today. The true miracle though has to do with my son, Ben.”

Ben looks down at the table and braces himself for what’s to come, trying to remind himself no matter what is said that he’s still worthy of being loved and that Rey is there for him. 

“When Leia and I got together we didn’t expect to have a pup so quickly. It was…well, it was a nightmare. Not because we didn’t want him, but because we were way too fucking young to have a kid. I was terrified of being a bad father, and though she didn’t say it, I know Leia was just as scared. And it turns out that we were right. We were terrible parents. We tried our best, but we had no idea what we were doing. Sometimes it still feels that way, but despite what we put him through, Ben turned into one hell of a man.”

It’s a lot to take in. Ben can feel a lump in his throat. He tries not to cry, but it’s difficult. This is all he wanted his whole childhood—some acknowledgment that they screwed up. And now he’s getting it. 

“When I look at my son, I see the husband that I want to be. I see the way he takes care of his wife. He’s her rock. He’s there for her no matter what. He’s her protector, her provider, and her strength. He's everything I wasn’t in my marriage. I've learned more from him about being a man than my own father. And this one…” he points to Rey. “Come up here, daughter-in-law.”

Rey giggles and joins him at the front. Han wraps his arm around her shoulders. 

“The second best thing my son could have done for me was give me something I’ve always wanted: a daughter.  From the moment I met Rey, I loved her. Aside from my wife, she’s the prettiest, smartest woman I’ve ever met. If anyone deserves my son, it’s her. So I’d like to raise a toast.” 

Everyone lifts their glasses. 

“To my wife and to my kids: I love you. Thank you.”

Everyone takes a sip and claps. Ben cannot believe what he just heard. His father is the least emotional person he knows. Getting him to even say ‘I love you’ is a struggle. Ben will never forget it. 

“Someone get my little girl a glass of champagne!” Han says into the mic. 

“Oh, no thank you Dad!” Rey says. “I will toast with my water. Drinking while pupped is very ill-advised.”

Ben spits his champagne out. 

Pupped? Did she say pupped?

Rey winces. “Oops,” she says, covering her mouth. 

Ben feels like he could walk on air because this can’t be true…can it? 

He leaps from his seat and walks over to her—his beautiful Omega—and cups her face. Her cheeks are pink from the warm weather and her eyes are bright. Her lips are chapped and her hair is curling around her forehead from the humidity. She’s breathtaking. The mother of his pup. His pup! 

“Alpha, I'm so sorry! I did not mean to tell you like this! I have been so incredibly scatterbrained. I was contemplating baking you a cake or perhaps buying you a card, but both gifts are rather dull and I wanted it to be special. I thought we might go to the steakhouse you like, but then we go there quite frequently. Oh dear, I’ve ruined the surprise haven’t I? But the sex will still be a surprise! If it’s a boy I would prefer Teddy, and you may name the baby if it’s a girl. What name would you choose, Ben?”

Ben laughs, running a hand through his hair. “God…um…how about Lee?”

Rey gasps. “Ben we can call her Baby Lee just like Bamie used to call Alice Roosevelt Longworth!! Oh but her legal name should be Leia after your mother.”

“You would name the baby after me?” Leia says, placing her hand on her chest. 

“Naturally! You are the baby’s grandmother. You’re very important to her.”

Leia does something Ben has only seen a handful of times in his life. She begins to lose her composure. Her eyes fill with tears. He is floored.

“I…I don’t know what to say,” she says, her deep voice shaking with emotion. 

A warm, blanketing ray of sunshine. That’s Rey. Melting the hardest of hearts. 

“I think you say ‘thanks’, Grandma,” Han says. Rey takes Leia by the hand and talks her ear off about how she’d like to decorate the nursery. Han throws his arm around Ben’s shoulder and asks: 

 “By the way…who the hell is Bamie?”

*****

“Okay Baby Lee…it’s time to see your house!”

Ben is unbuckling his newborn daughter from her car seat. She squirms and spreads her little fingers over her red cheek. He should probably just carry the pup in with the seat, but he wants to hold her close. With the diaper bag thrown over his shoulder, he closes the door and comes around to the passenger side where his wife is sleeping. She’s exhausted. The hospital was a lot for her (in more ways than one). 

It’s a difficult pregnancy—not to Rey, really just to Ben. He loved feeling the baby kick, talking to the baby, looking at the ultrasound pictures—but Rey was very—mechanical. Scientific. 

It’s not a bad thing, it’s just difficult for Ben because he feels like he’s really connecting with his daughter and his mate isn’t. He’s done research on autism and parenting and he should know it’s a possible scenario, but feeling it in real time is different than reading about it. He’s hoping that once Rey can recharge her sensory batteries that she’ll be able to bond with the baby. 

For now, he’s going to do his best to be there for her. She needs him. His girls need him. 

“Sweetheart? We’re home.”

She blinks her weary eyes open and smiles. “I’m tired.”

“I know. Let’s get you inside so you can get some rest.”

He holds out his hand and she takes it, gently stepping onto the pavement. 

“Ben, I hate wearing this pad. It’s so uncomfortable. I don’t like feeling dirty. The minute I shower I step out and become dirty again. I can’t stand it!”

She grips her hair and Ben rubs his thumb over her gland in an effort to calm her down. Sometimes it helps. 

“I’m sorry, Omega. Once we get inside, you can lay down and I’ll be your servant. I’ll do whatever you need me to do.” 

“I love you, Ben. Thank you for understanding.”

He kisses her forehead and slowly walks her up the stairs. The baby is still sleeping soundly in his arms. 

Once they get inside, Ben places the baby in her new bassinet (bought by Grandma) and walks Rey to the bedroom. 

“Bed or closet?”

“Closet.”

“I’ve already got the nest mattress in there. It’s ready for you.” He had a feeling she’d want to hibernate there for a while. That’s what all the books say. 

He helps her to not the bathroom and offers to stay and help her get situated but she declines. Once she’s out, she falls into the closet.

“Would you like a blanket or are you too hot?”

“Too hot,” she mumbles. “Ben, I need the fan.”

“Got it.” He grabs the big box fan and sets it up right at the door. She quickly falls back to sleep. Ben returns to the living room and peeks into the bassinet, where Baby Lee is sleeping. He knows he should let her rest. He knows he needs to detach—maybe take a shower and a nap, but he can’t help himself. He’s been waiting for months to hold her. 

He picks her up and cradles her head, sinking into the rocking chair. He doesn't bother to turn the tv on. He just wants to stare at her. He can’t believe he’s a father. He remembers spending his Saturday mornings so differently in the past. He’d wake up, pick a book and go to the coffee shop, scowling at all the happy couples walking past the window. He was jealous and angry and alone. He never thought he deserved love because no one ever showed him he was worthy to be loved. Not until Rey. She completely changed his life. 

“Ben?”

Ben turns his head and there is his sleepy wife staring at his shirt with her garden eyes. The baby will have them. He’s sure of it. 

“Yeah?”

“You and the pup need to come lie with me.  It will help us bond as a family, and I want the baby to understand that I am her mother. It’s very important that she knows she is loved.”

He looks down at his little girl and holds her closer. 

“She’ll always know. Always.”