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Chapter Text

I’m sitting on the couch sipping a wine cooler when someone knocks. Flustered, Qira calls from the kitchen- “Rey! Can you get that?” So I set my drink on a coaster and open the door to see Han standing there, holding two bouquets- one with red and pink roses, and a smaller one with pink and white roses.

“Hey, kid,” Han says.

“Hi,” I say and step back. I’m fifteen, which is maybe a little too old to be calling me kid, but not quite old enough that I feel justified snapping at him for it, but I consider it every goddamn time.

He hands me the smaller bouquet and I blink. “Here, hon.”

Hon. That’s a first. I think I hate it more. “Thanks?”

“Mhm.”

I close the door and hear Qira scurry forward. “Oh!” Qira says brightly. “Hello to you, too, old man.”

Han grumbles and I turn around just in time to see him put a hand on her hip and kiss her, which is gross, but I stay silent and return to my seat and hell, I pick up my wine cooler, too. Qira looks at me like I’m doing something wrong, then glances at Han as he kisses her cheek, too, and her jaw, and her neck.

“You said I could have it,” I say out of spite for letting him do that in front of me, and I take another sip.

Han pulls away eventually and hands her the bouquet. “Happy anniversary, Qira.”

“Happy anniversary,” Qira says, looking at him with wide doll eyes, breathlessly. Gross. “Seven months already.”

“Seven months and all those other times, too,” he says. I sip my booze and try to pay attention to the television because even the news is preferable to them.

They go into the kitchen mercifully, but Qira calls me when dinner is done. I walk over.

“It’s your anniversary. Wouldn’t you rather be alone?” Qira had made sure I was at Kay’s or Rose’s the last six anniversaries, and several other times in between.

“It’s alright, dear,” Qira says softly. “Sit. And after dinner, be sure you put those flowers in a vase. Although, you usually leave a few to dry out so you can keep them, right?”

I pull out my chair. “From boyfriends. And Poe’s is just down the street, I can-”

“Poe is too old for you,” Qira says tersely. “ Sit. ”

I frown and sit. “Poe is gay, for one, and not my type, for two, and I know he’s too old for me. He’s thirty. He’s a funny guy who pays me to take care of his garden.”

Han looks uncomfortable, and good. Maybe this will teach them a lesson for keeping me around on their date nights. Qira only sighs, pursing her lips and shaking her head. “Enough.”

“Whatever. I didn’t want to burden you with my company tonight, any-”

“E- nough , Rachel Anne.”

I grit my teeth and glower at my empty plate. Qira serves everyone at the table, just like always- a big, juicy steak, a big helping of mashed potatoes, and asparagus. I go to dig in and she tuts at me, and Han mutters a prayer, or whatever. I look at her the whole time, and as soon as he’s done, I speak.

“Are we ready or is my asparagus going to be inedible?”

Qira gives me her Mom Look which I hate because she’s not my mom and she’s the one who said it. “Eat.”

I eat all of my asparagus first because it’s gross, anyway, and even worse when you let it sit. They talk throughout dinner and I listen to the jazz music playing in the background, and the occassional Elton John or Marvin Gaye or Louis Armstrong. Qira’s leg brushes past mine on its way to Han’s and I scowl and tuck my legs as far beneath my chair as is humanly possible.

“So,” Qira says when we’re done. I go to get up and she gives me a glare, so I roll my eyes and hug my stomach.

“So,” Han says.

For the love of God, just say it . “What is it?”

“Han… Was married,” Qira says softly. “But he’s separated now, and in the process of getting a divorce.”

I look over at the expensive watch on his arm. I always thought it was weird he always came here when they spent time together, but it had not quite occured to me that he was a filthy fucking cheater. “That’s not my business.”

Han looks relieved at that. “No,” he says. “It isn’t.” But his voice is gentle and almost… Kind? Almost bonding? Like he finds solidarity in the fact that I want nothing to do with that.

I think I hate him. That’s a first. I was usually indifferent to him, and there had been a fair few moments I’d liked him.

“That’s why I asked you not to tell anyone specifics, or even his name,” Qira says.

So I’m a good little accessory. “Mm.”

“But,” Qira goes on. “He’s separated, now. And we’re moving in together.”

I think she’s going to tell me she’s sending me back. “Oh.”

“And,” she goes on. “We’re getting married, as soon as the divorce is final.”

“Good for you.”

“And,” she says yet again. “We’re… Adopting you.”

I blink more times than I care to count. “Okay.”

She touches my hand and I force myself not to pull away. “How does that sound?”

“Okay.”

“Good. Rey?”

“Qira?”

“I love you.”

I look over at her and blink some more. Three months ago, she’d looked at me and snapped it- the thing she always did when I pissed her off too much- and I am not your mother! “Love you, too.”

Qira smiles as if either of us mean it. “Why don’t you go start to pack up your room, Rey? We’ll be all ready to move in about a week.”

A week. “To where?”

“The Upper East Side,” Qira says, too smugly for my own liking.

“So, I’m changing schools?” I don’t like that. Paige drives us to school and I have classes with Kay and I don’t want to change schools, not now that I’ve finally found one that I like.

Qira smiles brighter. “Yes. I’m already looking at getting you enrolled in First Order Prepatory School.”

Fops. Stupid name. “Um… I like my school. Is there any way-?”

“No,” Qira says, smiling differently, pulling away and laughing gently as she looks down at her empty plate. “First Order is a wonderful school, dear. It’ll help you get into Brown or even Harvard or Yale one day, just like you want.”

Just like she wants. “Um. Okay.” I’m fuming and near tears but I’m careful not to look it because she doesn’t care, anyway. “Can I please go to Poe’s? I’ll pack tomorrow.”

Qira purses her lips. “No. Off. Now.”

I stand and they can clearly tell I’m not happy. “Thanks for the flowers, Dad,” I hiss.

“Rachel Anne-”

“Off now!” I holler back, not even bothering to take care of my dishes. I hear them talking until I’m in my room. I lock my door and cry into my pillow for a while and then scream into it, too. After my temper tantrum is over, I only feel worse, and glumly, I start packing up.

I’m used to it. I know how to do it quickly, even if Qira’s bought me far more than anyone else ever had.

And probably Han, too. I’d been getting more and more things, nicer and nicer things, since they got together. I’m half done when I collapse in bed again. Someone knocks and I don’t answer.

“Rey?” It’s Han’s voice. I glare and wait, but I hear Qira snarl something and he sighs and knocks again. I grit my teeth and get up, unlocking the door, and I crack it.

“What?”

“Can I… Ah… Come in?”

I pull the door back even though I don’t want to and I sit on the edge of my bed, arms crossed. He closes the door and sits at my desk chair, turning it to face me.

“I know it’s a lot,” he says.

“Yep.”

“I’ve heard you’ve been through a lot- no specifics, but… It must be even more to you.”

I glower at the floor.

“I know your mothe-”

“She’s not my mother,” I snap. “She says so herself.”

Han looks surprised at that. “What?”

But I don’t elaborate, just look out the window and keep a stony, icy look on my face to suppress the scowls and tears. Sometimes I pretend I might be able to will myself into being stone or ice, and sometimes, I’m able to pretend the raging emotions that feel so physical and true in every cell of my body is actually me turning myself into stone or ice. Like a child, or a crazy person. I don’t care which.

Han sighs and shifts. “She calls you her daughter,” he says softly. “If it helps to hear that.”

It does not help to know she’s a liar. “Mm.”

“First Order’s good,” Han says. “My son goes there.”

A son. I’d heard of him. Ben, maybe? I thought he was older. Struck, I look at Han. “Does he- live with you?”

“Yeah,” Han says, looking away. “Not sure… How much. Or for how much longer, now.”

Poor fucking Ben. I look away and struggle to look relatively neutral, even if I’m clearly faking it. “Your business is not my business,” I breathe quietly. “But I’m afraid I’m going to act very judgemental if you don’t give me room to breathe .”

Han sighs, then gets up. He lingers halfway to the door, though. “My w-... Leia and I weren’t going to work out, anyway. I love your- I love Qira. And I think you’re pretty cool, too, kid.”

“Mm.”

He finally leaves, then, and I lock the door again and fall asleep, thinking about Leia and Ben and First Order and Kay and Rose and Paige and Finn and Snap and…

Chapter Text

Han lives in a penthouse. I guess I do, too, now. The Upper East Side is pretty and charming and for some reason I hate it with every last fiber in the core of my being. We’re pulled up to Han’s private garage from a car elevator and he’s got a driver and it’s weird and I hate it all so very much.

I thought Qira was bougie.

Our stuff has all been moved. My room is larger than any room in Qira’s house. It’s got all new furniture and my things have already been unpacked and I search frantically for all my belongings including the vibrators that a stranger tucked into my nightstand and the alcohol someone stowed in my mini fridge and then I sit on the queen sized, four-poster bed and I cry.

It’s my dream room. Two white walls, one sage green, one hay yellow. The furniture is contemporary and cottage-y and perfect, like someone had stalked my Pinterest before designing the room just for me. A perfect mix of old and new and yet it does not feel like me, not at all.

There wouldn’t be so much white. It would be less dreamy and more fantastical, whimsical, a bit darker. More fae-inspired dark academia, still woodsy and earthy but darker, and less fairytale princess who happens to prefer yellow to pink.

As I wander the house and adjust to the floor plan and the fact that there are several studies and two libraries and a billiards room and a parlour and a living room and a family room and a den and a drawing room and blah, blah, blah, I realize he has maids and shit or whatever they’re called scampering around and trying to stay out of sight.

One is on the balcony of the smaller library, the one I like more, smoking a cigarette. When I go out, there’s actually two of them- two girls just a handful of years older than me. They look over at me and recoil.

“Um-” one says.

“I don’t care what you’re doing, don’t worry,” I say. “I’m Rey.”

They look at me, then each other, then me. “I’m Jyn,” one says softly. “And this is Jess.”

“Jyn and Jess,” I say, and I lean into the railing. “Like gin and juice.”

They look amused, and for a while, I stand and chat with Jyn and Jess. They’re sneaking out for a smoke and they’re not supposed to, and I assure them I could not care less. Jyn gives me a cigarette and I hate it but I smoke it, anyway, feeling like one of those dimwits in anti-smoking ads who’s just a little girl swept up in peer pressure. When it’s gone, I ask Jess if I can hit her vape and she lets me, and I like it a lot better.

“I hope you’re not just being nice so I don’t snitch,” I say. “I’m not gonna snitch, anyway, but I wouldn’t like being buttered up to.”

They assure me they’re not, and eventually, they go back to whatever it is they do, and I stay on the balcony for a while and look down at the too-posh neighborhood.

School had just ended when they announced they- we- were moving in together. School was just about to start when Ben came back.

He’d spent a week at his mother’s, then a week here. They’d rotate holidays and split the summer in half- June and part of July with his mom, part of July and August with his dad. They told me like it’s my business and I guess, if I have to live with a random seventeen year old boy, that part might be.

I can’t help it. The morning before he’s set to be dropped off, I walk into his room for the first time.

It’s smaller than mine and that bugs me. It’s still ridiculously large, but they’d given me the largest bedroom (save for their master suite) instead of the son of the man whose money was paying for this penthouse mansion. One white one, one grey wall, one almost black wall, one deep blue wall. Darker, more masculine. Sleek and chic and mostly greys, dotted with blue for accent. There’s a three-monitor set up and a fancy keyboard and mouse and a sick ass computer and they’re all covered in stickers and it’s about the only thing that looks like it might have been used before.

At least we weren’t moving into his wife’s house. That had been eating at me all summer.

I’m eyeing the computer without touching anything when the door opens and I straighten-

Han is standing there, blinking at me.

“I didn’t touch anything,” I say quickly.

Han looks around at the room, silent for a while. “Think he’ll like it?”

I look around. “I dunno him. This is sick, though.”

Han looks over at it. “Yeah. They were already his.”

I study the stickers. Bands I like and bands I don’t know and games I like and games I don’t know. A Bernie 2016 sticker right above a Bernie 2020 sticker.

Maybe this won’t be so bad.

“Did you like your room?” Han asks after a moment, for the first time.

“Yes.” I don’t know if I should thank him. I feel the urge to but also, like I shouldn’t. Maybe I should thank his help instead.

“Good, good.”

“Does he know? About… The… Specifics?”

I’m not being specific, but Han catches on, anyway. He gets tense and looks away. “We didn’t tell him,” he grumbles. “But he’s not stupid. Probably.”

“Mm.”

“Qira’s out with her friends for the day,” Han says. “She wants me to drop you off at Baz’s.”

Right. Baz. The girl I’m being forced to befriend. “Oh.”

“I was wondering if you want to meet Ben instead. If you want me to tell Qira that Baz had to reschedule.”

I blink at him. “Um. I mean, it’s been months since you’ve seen him. Maybe he wants to spend time with you.”

“I’m sure he wouldn’t mind meeting his sister.”

His sister . I want to ralph, and maybe Han senses that, because he shifts again. “You don’t have to, kid.”

“I shouldn’t cancel on Baz,” I grumble.

“Okay.”

I leave to get ready and I wear some of the new designer clothes ‘Qira’ got for me because I’m certain Baz will be wearing that sort of stuff, too, and I’m not about to meet Prep School Baz in my usual worn pants and camisoles and oversized flannels. I brush and straighten my hair and then grumble and french braid it over my shoulder instead. I do my makeup and redo it and then do it a third time, then make my way out towards the entryway when Han texts me that it’s time to go.

“Ah,” Han says, suddenly looking uncomfortable. “Aren’t you a little too young for that much makeup?”

I blink at him. I’m barely wearing any. “No?”

Han shifts. “Do you- look, kid. I’ve got a son, not a daughter. Could you Skype your mom, or something? To make sure?”

I roll my eyes but pull out my phone and call Qira. She looks over at me and grins. “Hello, dear! You look so pretty!”

“Thanks. Han wants to make sure I don’t look like a harlot.”

“That’s not -” Han says.

Qira giggles. “You look lovely, dear. Han’s just worried about you.”

“Mhm. Thanks. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye! Have a nice time with Bazine!”

“Thanks. Have a nice time with your friends. See you for dinner, dear.”

“See you.”

Han and I are driving when he gets a call and he answers it through his car, but at least he’s driving his damned self this time.

Hectic sounds of the airport blast through the speakers.

“Ben?” Han says.

“When are you going to be here?” Ben’s voice is deep and highly agitated and he sounds more than a little stressed out. “I’ve been waiting for an hour.”

I grit my teeth. Han had been waiting on me, but he’d said it was no rush. Damnit, damnit, damnit .

“Just a minute. I have to drop Rey off-”

“You can pick him up,” I say hurriedly. “I don’t want to make him wait.”

“Alright. About ten minutes, then, kid,” Han says.

“Fine. Okay. Whatever.”

They hang up without saying goodbye. When Han pulls up outside of the airport, I’m out of the front seat at once.

“Ben can-”

“That’s alright.”

I slip into the backseat and seal myself inside, sitting in the middle, hugging myself. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. This way, I don’t have to buckle.”

Han gets a deep frown. “Yes, you do.”

I scowl.

But he doesn’t make me do much.

So whatever. I buckle, and scowl, and look out the window.

Someone opens the trunk and I’m suddenly too anxious to look so I stare at the parking lot as Han gets out and helps. A little while later, they climb into the front seat.

They’re silent so I just, out of nowhere, start blabbering. “I didn’t realize you were waiting, or I wouldn’t have taken so long getting ready.”

Ben looks back at me like he didn’t realize I was there.

He’s hot and I hate that so much . Long black hair, cascading towards his shoulders. Dark eyes and a big nose and strange features that go too well together and plump lips and now he’s turning away without a word.

“I doubt she’s used to it, anyway,” Han says after a moment. “Usually doesn’t wear makeup, or that kinda thing.”

 Ben glances at me in the rearview. He still looks so annoyed, but there’s a bitterness in his eyes. “Mm.”

“Ah- Ben, Rey. Rey, Ben,” Han says.

I wonder why he came from the airport, if he has to fly twice a week now. I don’t ask out loud, though, just stare out the window.

“Rey was nice enough to give you the front seat, Ben.”

“Thanks,” Ben grumbles, and he does not mean it, and Han sighs.

“She thinks your computer’s cool.”

Ben scowls and says nothing.

“I didn’t- didn’t touch anything,” I say quickly. “Just noticed it.”

“Rey’s got a shitty laptop from Walmart,” Han says, and I scowl, too. “I was going to get her a new one but I figured I’d wait for you to come around because you know I don’t know shit about computers.” No one responds, and Han looks like he doesn’t want to talk at all- he’s still got that grouchy old man look, but he speaks like he’s not- “Ben built his own computer.”

The awe I feel does not show through, and good. “That’s impressive.”

“He’s built two, now, I guess. One for each house.”

Ben leans into the window.

Finally, at long last, Han shuts the fuck up, and we’re all grumpy and silent until we arrive at Baz’s own Upper East Side house.

Baz is alright. We hang out in her room and listen to music and talk about school and college and plans, and then she talks about boys and I pretend to care, and then she chips her nail and says she’s treating us to mani-pedis because of it and then we’re leaving and she’s driving us to the fanciest salon I’ve ever seen and she doesn’t need an appointment, apparently.

“Miss Netal,” says the bougie receptionist with faux delight. “What a pleasure.”

“For two,” Baz says. She’s not cold but she’s entirely disinterested. We sit and pick out colors and she gets pretty, pearlescant indigo and I get a shade of brown-red that’s barely lighter than black, and it’s matte and beautiful and I love it. They clean and massage and do wonderful things to us first and we chat about colors and then houses and then clothes and she’s not judgemental and she slowly opens up and then we’re talking about music and art and books and we have such different taste but we’re getting along, anyway.

She’s going to drop me off at home and I ask her to stay for dinner before I can even think about it and she agrees, not bothering to ask her parents.

I walk up to Qira, who’s standing with Han in front of Ben, who sits at the table and stares impassively at his phone. “I invited Baz for dinner, if you don’t mind.”

Han looks like he minds but Qira only beams. “That’s lovely! We’re having venison.”

And Baz and Qira talk about food and I shift and look out the window at the view I hate.

The help, as I’ve learned  to begrudgingly refer to them as, serves us. Baz sits next to me and I’m next to Qira and she’s next to Han and Ben is across from her.

“Nice to see you again, Ben, by the way,” she says in a flirtatious voice- but a subtly flirtatious voice- and I suddenly feel sick.

“You, too.”

“How was your summer?”

Ben raises both eyebrows. “I’ve had better.”

Dinner is stiff and awkward and Baz is talking to me like we’re best friends and she’s talking to Ben like they’re lovers and they’re laughing at the rest of us, but Ben doesn’t so much as look at her once. Qira is delighted and Han is deeply uncomfortable and I am very apparently out of my element.

“How’s Tai?” Ben asks eventually, and his voice is cold now.

Baz shifts. “He’s good. Haven’t you been talking to him?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.” Baz looks over at me. “Tai is my boyfriend,” she explains.

“Ah.”

“And Ben’s best friend.”

“Cool.”

“And I’ve decided I like you,” Baz says.

“I, um- I like you, too,” I say, and she gets the same amused little smile she always does when I stumble over my words or say something dumb.

“So, I think you and Ben should go to homecoming- like, as siblings, or step siblings, or whatever- and that way, the four of us can go together.”

Ben sinks into his chair a little and his eyes widen and his brows raise before lowering immediately, like a suppressed eyeroll or something- and he sighs.

“That’s darling,” Qira says, dreamy.

“Um,” I say. “I just- I just met him,” I barely breathe. “And I doubt he thinks of me as a sister, either. We’re strangers.”

Ben glances at me, and at once he looks annoyed and relieved. “Yeah,” he all but grunts.

“Bonding exercise, then,” Baz says with a bright, feminine finality, brushing her hair back.

“It’s settled, then,” Qira says, and Baz gives her a bright smile and pleased eyes.

I want to die.

“Are- are you two… Okay with that?” Han does not look okay with that.

Neither Ben nor I speak, and I look at him but he just pokes at his food.

“Ben?” Han says, almost begging for a no.

Ben glances up at his father, and then, the briefest look of vindictiveness passes through his eyes. “I’d love to take Rey to homecoming,” he says in a faux-polite tone, but there’s ice in it.

Qira grins. “Wonderful!”

Baz is smirking, all but wiggling in her seat.

Han looks over at me and I look away at once. “Rey?”

“Yes?”

Han lets out a disgruntled sound but drops it.

“Oh- Rey ,” Qira gushes some time later. “Let me see those nails!”

I flush and outstretch a hand and she grabs it, studying them. I shift. “You should see Baz’s. They’re so pretty.”

Qira finishes grinning at my hand and looks over; Baz is more than happy to show off her manicure.

“That’s so lovely,” Qira says. “I’ve been bugging Rey to get a manicure with me for months!”

“Why didn’t you?” Baz asks, looking over at me. I shift.

“Not… My style. But I like this one a lot.”

Baz looks weirdly satisfied as she takes a sip of her sparkling water. “Suits you,” she says in a strange voice, high and cheery and still so smug. “You know, you and Ben have so much in common.”

“Do we?” Ben asks, much to my surprise, and he’s got that same tone in his voice. Han is visibly gritting his teeth together and Qira looks over in curiosity which slips into a knowing intrigue and I have no idea what’s going on.

“Oh, yes. Same bands, for one- her favorites are In This Moment , The Pretty Reckless , and Halestorm .”

Ben looks surprised, then gives me a smile with That Look in his eyes that I don’t understand. Vindictive and dark and calculating. I look at him, heart thuddering. “Good taste.”

“She’s in love with Kurt Cobain,” Baz says, and I flush.

“He’s a good artist. Was a good artist.”

“Mhm.”

The help clears the table and Baz leaves and I scurry to my room to call Kay because what the fuck is going on but there’s a knock before I can and then they open the door without permission.

It’s Ben. I look over at him and blink as he walks in and closes the door. He looks around at my room, looking annoyed. “How old are you?”

“Fifteen.”

“A freshman,” he grumbles.

“I’m starting sophomore year.”

He relaxes a little and then sits on my bed and I stare at him, tense.

Han knocks, and I know it because he’s always got the stiff two raps.

“Come in,” Ben calls, looking smug again.

Han comes in and frowns at Ben, tense. “You’re not allowed in a girl’s room.”

“Just spending time with my new step-sister,” Ben says in the vindictive voice.

Han looks like he could strangle Ben. Then, he composes himself and looks at me. “Do you have a boyfriend you’d prefer to take you to homecoming?”

The wind is knocked out of me. “No.”

“I’m sure that Baz will help you take care of that,” Ben says in the voice.

Han looks near a freak out. “Ben,” he says.

“Dad,” Ben says, smug.

Han stares at Ben and Ben smirks at Han. “Behave yourself,” Han says, halfway between a breath and a growl.

Ben gets the biggest, most shit-eating grin I’ve ever seen, and I hate that it looks so good on him. He has dimples and freckles and beautiful, kaleidescope brown eyes, and- “Always,” Ben says in the voice.

Han does not like that. He leaves the door open when he leaves.

Ben looks over at me, then reclines back, his hand pressing into my bed. He’s tall and strong and broad and he looks so good in his stupid midnight blue polo and his black trousers hug muscular legs and he’s the hottest guy I’ve ever seen in my entire life . “So,” he says. “What kind of dress are you wearing to homecoming?”

I blink. “I- dunno?”

“What kind of dress did you wear last year?”

“I didn’t go last year.”

“Why not?”

“Didn’t want to.”

“Why not?” He looks at me like he’s mad at me for not playing along only I don’t know what game he wants to play and I don’t think I’d want to if I did.

“Didn’t have a date and all of my friends did.”

Ben gets a small smile, eyes locked on mine, and he looks so charming and debonair, but dark and cruel at the same time. There’s an imposing intensity that seems to demand attention, command my eyes to stay locked on his and the breath to leave my lungs. I think I’m blushing. “You do this year, though. So, that’s good.”

A date.

This is so fucked.

“I’m driving you to school when I’m here,” Ben says, running a big hand through his hair, and he’s so fucking hot. “I can pick you up when I’m not, too.”

“Okay. Um- thank you.”

He gives me that debonair smile again. “Don’t mention it, sweetheart.”

Both of my eyebrows raise and I all but sigh at that. He looks deeply, deeply amused and more than a little smug. Then, he gets up and leans over me, and I tense and close my eyes as his breath finds my ear.

“Let’s give ‘em hell, yeah?”

And then Ben kisses my temple and I whimper, and he gives a dark laugh, but it’s less cruel this time.

“Night, sis,” he calls in a dry, ironic tone. “Love you.”

He has the decency to close my door and I collapse, entirely lacking the will to even call Kay and not even knowing what the fuck just happened.

Chapter Text

When I get ready for school, I glare at the plaid skirt uniform and my pale blue button-down and the grey vest and the stupid knee socks and stupid loafers and the tight bun my hair is in because my bangs look weird now. I wear less eyeliner than I like to and mascara and lip gloss and blush and I look like a child and I hate it and-

And Ben walks into my room and stands in front of my bathroom like he owns the place, not knocking on anything or caring at all, and I tense and spin and lean into the vanity. He eyes me with a smirk, gaze darkening. “You look good,” he says, and I don’t think he’s so much as glanced at my face.

He’s wearing a similar outfit but for boys. The school was still pending my request to wear fucking trousers and I wasn’t even sure I wanted to if I’d be the only girl doing so. But his are well-tailored and he’s forgone the vest and his buttons are struggling to keep his poor shirt on his too-broad frame. He tucks big thumbs into his pockets and leans against the door jam, crossing one ankle over his leg as his eyes linger on my chest.

“You know, you don’t have to wear the vest,” he says.

“My shirt’s too small. Baz and I aren’t quite the same size after all.”

Ben smirks. “That’s okay.”

I bite my lip and look away. “Are you hitting on me?” I manage the will to ask. It’s been nagging me all week.

He stayed an extra week this time to make up for not seeing Han all summer. He bought me and is building me a computer with his own money. We’ve talked about games and then a bunch of other stuff my computer might need to be good enough for. Qira’s been whispering about what a ‘fine young man’ he is and Han nearly has a panic attack everytime Ben is in the same general vicinity as me.

And now Ben’s staring at me like I am a delicious piece of food and he is a starved wolf.

Ben quirks one brow and takes a few steps forward. “So what if I am?”

I look away and stare at my shower in the en-suite bathroom that is all mine and I still don’t like that, and I don’t know why. “Why?”

“Why am I hitting on you?” Ben repeats, laughing.

“You just want to use me to piss off your dad. As much as I support the goal, I don’t like being used.”

Ben’s hands land right next to mine on the vanity and I inhale sharply. “I also think you’re hot. For the record. Might even have hit on you, anyway- just a bit less… Forward.”

“Might?” I snap. “Then stop doing it. Find some other way to-”

“No.”

I glare up at him, and he turns that debonair charm on and I tense up.

“You ever been fucked, freshie?”

I scowl. “I’m not a freshman anymore.”

Ben leans forward, eyes gleaming with predatory intent. “You ever been fucked, sis?”

“Stop that.”

“Answer me, or I’ll check myself,” his hand grips my thigh and I gasp and slap his hand, but it doesn’t move and he doesn’t seem to give a shit.

“No! Get off .”

“I’m trying to get off,” he says in a low, suggestive tone, head moving down-

“Rey?” Qira’s approaching voice calls and Ben glares the wall before pulling back and leaning on the wall. I swallow and straighten and then she appears. She smiles at me. “Are you almost ready? Breakfast is nearly done.”

“Yeah,” I grumble. “Be out in a sec.”

“Good.”

She disappears and Ben watches me as I stand there and wait. “You know,” he says after a moment. “I’m not going to stop, and you’re clearly so desperately attracted to me. It’ll go a lot more smoothly for you if you flush and bat your eyes at me like last time.”

I walk past him without a word and he follows close behind, and I can’t put any distance between us no matter how fast I walk. I’m tempted to run but the help might look at me funny.

Han works early, so it’s just me, Qira, and Ben. Ben sits next to me everytime now, but always next to Qira. He’s been sweet-talking her all week, and she adores him.

He puts his hand on my thigh and I grit my teeth and glare at my omelet. I want nothing more than cereal and fucking solitude. His hand teases my leg, brushing up occasionally to whisper over my core through my panties, until I’m wet. He smirks into his glass when my gusset is visibly wet against his hand.

Ben and I leave, eventually. “Nice car, even for a trust fund baby,” I grumble.

He takes it in stride, opening the passenger side door for me like a gentleman . “She’s a Mercedes-AMG GT Roadster,” he says.

“I know.”

“You like cars?”

“Yes.”

It’s midnight blue and the top is down and it’s the sexiest fucking car I’ve seen in person. “Me, too,” he says, and he foregoes his own door, hopping with ease into the driver’s seat.

I want to fuck this man.

Shut the everloving fuck up.

“Get comfy, Rey,” he says. “I’ve decided you’re going to lose your virginity right there .”

“In your dreams ,” I hiss.

He smirks. “For a little while, yeah. I like the chase.”

He grips my thigh as he guides the car to the elevator and for all my fighting, he doesn’t let me move it. When I huff and seethe out the ‘window’- the top is down- he starts teasing again, much less tentative when he touches my panties, and I’m red in the face and positively dripping by the time he sets out onto the road.

“Say my name,” he says. “And I’ll let you come. Save you some embarrassment at school.”

“What?”

“Say my fucking name.”

“Ben,” I grumble.

He looks over. “You can say it nicer than that, Rey, or I’ll make sure you don’t come again. Ever.”

He’s only here half the time, and yet, out of fear and nothing else, I whimper and shift. “Ben,” I breathe.

“That’s right, sweetheart. Now ask me to let you come.”

I close my eyes. “Let me come, please, Ben.”

“Mmm,” he grumbles. “We’ll work on that, but you’re being such a good girl, aren’t you?”

He gets close to school and keeps teasing me, and I’m whimpering and squirming, red in the face for a few reasons, arms crossed tightly, when he pulls into a parking garage and raises his hood, rolls up the windows. He parks the car and drags me closer, and before I know it, I’m on my knees in front of him. I stare at his erection, mouth agape.

“I’ve never-”

“I figured.”

“I’ve never even been kissed before,” I hiss. “Please.”

“Please, what?”

I glare up at him, and he smirks back down at me. And I know I’m sucking him off whether I want to or not. “Please, Ben,” I try. “Can you- kiss me first?”

He give me another strangely endearing, shit-eating grin and drags me up into his lap. “I suppose,” he says, taking my hips in his hands and rocking them forward into him, and I whimper and clutch onto his shoulders for dear life. “Good girl- move your hips for me, just like that.”

I flush and close my eyes, and his hands go limp, and my hips do as he’s bade them to.

“Beg me to kiss you.”

I let out a frustrated whine and bite my lip. “Please,” I manage after a bit of hesitation. “Please, kiss me, Ben. Please.”

“We’ll work on that, too,” he mutters, but he kisses me suddenly, hands wrapping around my waist.

His lips are expert and matter-of-fact and nonchalant as they press into mine, and I whimper and kiss back. I have no idea what to do but he leaves no room for doubt, and the way I respond to him is instinctual if ever tentative. His tongue flicks out over my lip and I almost fearfully part my lips for him; he lets out the ghost of a chuckle and delves his tongue in and I moan as he darts it across mine, then pulls it away.

Each delve is slightly longer than the last and they only happen after a few more sloppy kisses, and it does not take long until my brain has melted away and I’m running my palms against his shoulders, biceps, pecs. He gropes my ass and my thighs for a while, but as his tongue reaches forward to make figure eights with mine, one slips up to grope my breast. He laughs into my mouth and kisses me; I give a confused, affronted sound and he tugs my vest up, my shirt out of my skirt, and moves his hand beneath them to grope me above only my lacy little bralette. He snarls in approval and I whimper again, gently, my hips moving with much more eagerness than before.

Eventually he pulls away and leans into the seat. “Get on your knees for me, sweetheart.”

I flush and slink down before reality can set back in, and luckily, he has himself out of his trousers quickly so that I can busy my mouth again before I realise what we’re doing and lose my mind entirely.

“Fuck- there you go,” he breathes as I kiss and lap at his head. “Such a good girl. That’s right. Suck my fucking cock.”

He lets me slobber on the tip of him as he fully moves aside his clothes so that all of him is out- and he’s so fucking massive I whimper in fear. He snickers, placing his hand on the back of my neck.

“That’s right, sweetheart. You’re going to have all of this fucking cock buried in your throat, and then, you’re going to cream yourself on my fingers. Thank me for it, now.”

“Thank you, Ben,” I whimper, and his head tilts back.

“Fuck, yeah,” he says. “Take it in your mouth now, or you’re going from this to deepthroating.”

I whine and take about a quarter of him in my mouth and he hums.

“Good girl- that’s right. You wanna work up slow and steady. A little teeth is okay, but watch out. Stick out your tongue- there you go, fuck, Rey. Rub it into me, just like that. Suck a bit harder and don’t forget to keep making more spit for me. That’s fucking perfect, sweetheart.”

His fingers gently work their onto my scalp, not disturbing my hair, to soothe me, his other hand guiding my neck and head and thumbing my neck. He feels so big and frightening, warm and intoxicating, in my mouth, and he tastes like skin in the strangest and most erotic way. The scent is hardy and masculine but clean, enthralling, and his words have my hips rocking forward into nothing.

“Fuck, yes. Take some more, baby, we’ve only got so much time, and I will keep you late. There you fucking go, Rey. Fuck.”

Half of him is in me and it’s already too much but I haven’t gagged yet and I’m losing myself in it, breathing steadily and shakily through my nose. He’s less gentle when he guides my bobbing, and his loafers keep inching out and his head falls back for a few moments, over and over.

“Best fucking head I’ve ever had,” he snarls. “Already. Fucking- fuck yes. You’re all mine. We’re going to make them fucking pay, and we’re going to reap all the benefits, sweetheart. You just keep fuckin’ sucking.”

Tears fall as he guides me down lower, lets me adjust for a minute, and then lower still. I gag as my lips press into his base and he snarls.

“Fucking- there you go, baby. Swallow. You’re good, you’re not gonna choke. Fucking perfect little mouth. Gonna come soon, and you can pull up for that, but you’re swallowing every last fucking drop, you hear me? You spill, you lick it up. You spit it out, you’re licking it the fuck up.” He shifts, pushing me back. “Look up at me, let me see those tears, sweetheart. Fuck- so fucking pretty. Big fucking eyes,” I look up at him and he looks so predatory, so volatile, and like he’s made a home for himself smack dab in the middle of cloud nine. “Sweet fucking girl, take it. Gonna fuck your throat now, until I come- you swallow to calm the gagging and you sit tight, Rey. I’ve got you.”

And he starts thrusting and I whimper and clutch his thighs for dear life, mind faltering as my cunt throbs in desperation. He throws his head back for a moment to let out an oath and then looks back down at me, slamming my face forward to meet his thrusts, and it hurts but it’s so fucking hot and he’s so sexy and he’s looking at me like I am, too, and I can’t breathe anymore and I’m light-headed and…

And then he sits back down with a snarl. “Gonna fucking come- now,” he says urgently, and I pull back and slip a hand to stroke his base. He grins a crazed grin and lets out a sadistically pleased sound, his hand sliding from my neck to my shoulder as the salty taste of pre is replaced with streams of salty, bitter come.

Kay said it’s nasty. I love it. I whimper and feel my face screw up with shamed tears as I swallow and breathe, swallow and breathe, swallow and breathe…

“Fuck,” he says when he starts to soften in my mouth. “That was fucking perfect,” he gently pushes me off and grabs a moist towelette that’s been sitting on his console the whole time like he knew and planned for this, and he cleans himself off as I shift and whimper on my knees, my legs sore. “A deal’s a deal,” he says as he tucks himself away. “As much as I want to leave you walking around, desperate for me. I wasn’t expecting you to say it- or be such a good little cocksheath for me- but you deserve a reward, and you need to know you’re getting something good out of this, too. All you gotta do is a be a good little girl for me.”

He picks me up with ease and then he’s dragging us both into the passenger seat and leaning me back, his hands working over my thighs. He grins as he eyes my face.

“You soaked right fucking through your panties,” he snarls, looking vindictive and hungry again. “Fucking slut, loved sucking my cock, didn’t you?”

I flush and whimper and turn away. He snickers and pushes my panties to the side.

“It’s alright, sweetheart,” he coos, but he’s got a sadistic edge to his voice again as he runs a finger through my folds-

So much bigger than mine. Gentle, slow, teasing. I keen.

“You just be happy you found someone to take care of you. Be such a shame if you ended up a fucking whore like your mom.”

I hiss at that, brow knitting, as he delves a finger inside.

“Say my name, slut,” he says.

I’m not planning to until his finger finds a sweet spot and I gasp it- “Ben,”

“That’s a good- fucking- girl,” he snarls, emphasizing the last three words with fast, hard pumps. I moan and squirm but his other hand holds me still as his thumb finds my clit and I lean back and twitch, nodding. “Tiny, pretty little pussy,” he snarls. “And it’s all fucking mine, you understand? You ask me before you touch yourself. You fucking call me if you have to, I don’t care. You have to beg me before you get to come. Got it?”

And I feel so good that I don’t even think, just nod along, moaning and whimpering please, more, Ben, yes, please, oh, oh, yes…

He adds another finger and I all but cry, the sound of a delirious, ecstatic sob coming, anyway.

“That’s a perfect fucking slut for me,” he snarls, looking so happy, so eager, so hungry. He drags me closer then and sets my head on his. “We’re in this in together, Rey, and you’re all fucking mine. I don’t blame you for shit but me and you are going to right a few wrongs and I’ll make sure you’re fucking set for life. Got it, sweetheart? All fucking mine, my pretty little slut…”

“I’m gonna come,” I whimper.

“Ask, baby. All you gotta do is ask.”

“Please! Please, Ben, can I come? Please, make me come, please, Ben, please , let me come.”

His hand picks up the pace as I speak and he nods, his hot breath on my lips. “Look at me, Rey, and fucking come for me.”

I look into his beautiful eyes and come, clinging to his shoulders, whimpering and crying out, trying to be quiet and failing miserably.

He fingerfucks me through the best orgasm of my life and then wrenches his hand away, sucking my arousal off of his fingers and shoving his slick thumb into my mouth. I pant and hold his gaze, shivering into him, until he drops his hand. “You taste so fucking good, sweetheart, don’t you?”

I collapse into his shoulder and his hands smooth over my thighs.

“Such a good girl,” he breathes. “Remember. You’re mine, your cunt is mine, and you ask before you touch yourself and you beg before you come. Got it?”

I nod feebly, and his hands grip my ass before he gently pushes me away and adjusts my clothes, locating another moist towelette for my thighs.

When we get out, Baz is parked one space away, leaning on a mulberry Rolls-Royce, smirking. A guy is next to her, cute and clearly slightly uncomfortable. I flush and recoil into Ben.

“Tai. Baz.”

“Ben,” Baz grins. Her eyes take me in, glittering. “Rey.”

Tai seems incapable of meeting my eyes. “Nice to meet you, Rey.”

“Y-you, t-t-too,” I breathe.

The four of us make our way into school. Ben and Baz are seniors; Tai and I are sophomores. I meet more of their friends and I don’t like any of them.

As I sit in home room with Baz because Netal and Niima are close together, I think of my last foster home. I lived with a guy named Unkar Plutt in the shittiest apartment in Queens and I walked to the shittiest school in the state. And now I’m living with a multi-millionaire and his hot son just made me come in his convertible Mercedes-Benz before walking me into the most expensive prep school on the east coast.

As if she can hear my thoughts, Baz leans over and places her purple-tipped hand on my arm. “Pretty soon,” he breathes. “You’re going to be a big fish like me.”

Ben Solo is a violent, vindictive shark. I feel like the tiniest speck of bacteria in the biggest ocean there is.

Baz, Tai, Ben, and I go to the library every day after school and we do our homework there, and Ben and I arrive just in time for dinner. We eat and he calls me ‘sis’ exclusively in front of Han, which makes Qira look so knowingly amused, and Han shift uncomfortably in his chair. He keeps his hand on my back when he walk and he keeps his hand on my thigh when we sit and eat too-fancy food made by strangers who look like they’re doing something wrong if I so much as look at them. Ben invites me into his room and I sit on his bed and we chat as he fucks with my computer and sometimes, he’ll invite me to play on his and I get to play his Fallout: New Vegas save, but scolds me when I do something he doesn’t like and makes me load a save if I do a quest he wanted to do himself. He’s big on guns while I’m big on unarmed because it makes me feel very powerful to kick the shit out of Legate Lanius, a scary man with a scary sword, with nothing but my own fist wrapped in metal, and he’s funny and amusing and amused by me, too, and that’s new and strange and nice and all I have to do is not think about the way he calls me ‘sis’ in front of Han.

When it’s late I go to bed and he comes in without knocking.

“Ben,” I gasp. I’m naked.

He looks over at my tits and grins. “Rey.” He comes in with a glass of warm milk and a pill in his hands. “You should get some rest.”

“That’s the general idea of sleeping.”

He sets the milk down and holds up the pill. “Sedative. Gonna play with you. You’ll need the pill to sleep.”

I blink at him, mouth falling open. “I’m not losing my vir-”

“No, you’ll be awake for that ,” Ben says, that dark gleam in his voice. “But I’m going to watch you sleep and lay there like a pretty little dolly for me, and you’re going to come so many times it’ll look like you’ve wet yourself. But you still have school tomorrow, so you should take the pill like a good girl and get some rest.”

None of this is a question. None of this is an option. Is the fact that I’m only anxious and not afraid as I take the pill enough to make up for the way that I don’t have a choice in the matter, anyway?

I toss the pill back and chug the milk. “Fine. But you have to kiss me until I fall asleep. Please, Ben.”

He smirks, then crawls on top of me- but it doesn’t look like he’s crawling. He’s sexy and slow and predatory. “We’ll work on your manners,” he says quietly. “But for now, I’m into the sass. We’ll see if that holds up.”

We makeout until the sedative kicks in and I’m out like a light. When I wake up, my chest and stomach and thighs are covered in hickies, and my hips and thighs are bruised by hands, and I gawk down at myself. Nothing hurts but my ass , not unless I press into three of the bruises. I get up and check out my back-

My ass is bruised and purple. Scratches on my back- not bleeding, almost gone. Several more hickies, all expertly places to be hidden by most clothing. And it’s fall, anyway, and I only wear anything that might show any of this in the summer, which will be something I’ll have to bring up.

I try to ignore the way my strangely exhausted core roars to life at the sight of it all, and then, I get into the shower.

We’ve got a bit of a routine. Ben comes in to watch me finish my hair and then walks me out to have breakfast and we leave early and I suck him off. I usually don’t come because he plays with me and I could not take another orgasm. Baz and I are best friends and she shows off the weird, clueless orphan to her clique but she’s much less painful to be around when she’s not with them. Her and Tai are cute and Tai is funny and sweet. We do homework in the library and then head home for more hanging out in Ben’s room until my computer is done and he sets it up in his room which is weird but I like it because after that we play the same game and talk about it and stop to watch each other do something every so often, and Han comes in all the time and seems soothed to see us just acting like teens.

Like boyfriend and girlfriend, though, not brother and sister.

We eat dinner and he gets me wet and then we hang out and then he drugs me so that he can kiss me until I fall asleep and then leave me with more expertly placed, increasingly painful marks, and I shouldn’t be as turned on by them as I am, but I am turned on.

On Saturday, Qira makes me have a girl’s night, then she leaves with Han to their ‘vacation home’ which is a place on the lake about an hour away, and I know Ben’s got something strange in mind.

He waits about an hour after they leave to dismiss the help, and I say goodbye to Jyn and Jess who I’m sure to catch on their stolen smoke break on the balcony, who may or may not be friends. He waits another hour and then he shows up out of nowhere and presses me into the wall, grinding into me, his lips on my ear.

“Hey, sis.”

“St-”

“You should know better by now,” he says.

“You don’t think of me like a sister.”

He laughs. “Of course I fucking don’t.”

The reassurance makes me a little less uneasy. He’s got one of my arms pressed into the small of my back and the other wrenched above my head, my face turned to the other side. He’s grinding an erection into my bruises and it’s so fucking hot .

“You ready to get fucked full of come?” he asks.

I shudder. “I’m not on bir-”

“You don’t need it, sweetheart.”

Okay. He’s got to have something, then. “No condoms?”

“Not with you, sissy.”

Right. There’s birth control for men or reversible vasectomies or yada, yada, yada. I know from his reputation that he’s done quite a bit to quite a few different people. “And you’re clean?”

He laughs. “Yes.”

I close my eyes and press back into him and he snarls his approval. “Good girl,” he says, kissing my cheek. “I made sure to just edge you last night. I wanna feel you come on my cock.”

I shudder and nod.

“Who’s little fucking whore are you, Rey Niima?”

“Yours,” I gasp.

“And who owns that sweet little virgin cunt?”

“Ben Solo.”

“That’s fucking right,” he says. “Next time I’m here, when I play with you, I’ll get that asshole ready for me. I bet you’ll fucking love that- you squirt, did you know that? Makes a big fucking mess all over me, and I fucking love it. Have you ever made yourself squirt?”

I shake my head, flushing. “No.”

He bites my ear. “What are you?”

There are several answers he likes. “I’m your cumslut,” I whimper. “I’m a useless fucking cocksheath who’s honored to get fucked by the likes of you.”

He suckles some of my neck into his mouth, but lets go to keep his marks hidden. “That’s fucking right, baby. You wanna know what else you are?”

“Yes, Ben.”

He gives me cheek another kiss. “You’re a pretty little sweetheart, and you’re going to get fucked like one.” He pulls back suddenly and I blink, looking back at him. He gets that debonair smile, but his eyes hold no trace of vindictiveness, just hunger. He’s only sadistic when he’s fucking me now.

I think he means it when he says he likes me. I hope he does.

He takes my hand and guides me to the kitchen, then picks me up and sets me on the counter. “What’s your favorite food?”

He knows the answer; he’s asked, several times. I’ve had many little moments of proof that he doesn’t forget a damned thing. “Spaghetti.”

He pulls out everything he’ll need to make spaghetti and gets to work. “This is Nona’s recipe,” he says. “My mom’s mom. We can doctor it if you’re prepared to swear by oath I’ve never so much as suggested doing so.”

I giggle quietly and nod. “We’re in this together, Ben. Your secret’s safe with me.”

He grins at me, then kisses me generously. “Good girl.”

As he cooks and does not let me help, I find out that he likes a lot less sugar in his spaghetti than Nona does, and I like a lot more garlic and absolutely no onions, oh, God, please. And when he’s done with the spaghetti we eat it in the kitchen off of one plate with one fork; the food sits next to me and I stay on the counter and he stands in front of my legs and keeps peppering me with kisses in between bites. We’re just laughing and being stupid and bonding and it’s great.

“Is this a date?” I ask.

“Ah- yes, Rey,” he says, like I asked if my hair was brown. “Oh- speaking of, though. Tai and Baz want a double brunch date tomorrow, so I’ll pick out a nice outfit for you.”

“You gonna dress me, too?”

His eyes shimmer as he pushes a bite into my mouth. “Now I am, brat. I’ll shower you, too. Brush your teeth for you.”

“Wipe for me?”

“Don’t tempt me.”

I roll my eyes and scrunch my nose, but I’m giggling into my food. When I swallow, I say, “You’re gross.”

“Gonna make you wear a butt plug,” Ben says.

“What?”

“I got you a butt plug- well, I got a bunch, but most of them are too big for that tight little hole. You’re wearing the littlest one tomorrow at brunch.”

I flush and shift in my seat. “O-okay.”

He smiles and kisses me. “Good girl,” he says, and then he takes a bite.

He leaves the dishes in the sink but I’m bothered enough to rinse them, which annoys him. I wanted to clean them but he said no and I’m a little bit afraid of what he’d do if I ever, like, defied him, or whatever, but I can at least make it easier on the help when they return.

“They’re paid handsomely,” he tuts.

“They better be, cleaning up after you and that slob.”

“They clean up after you and your whore, too,” Ben says.

I have not asked why he calls Qira a whore- and not in the happy way he calls me one- because I know. Because she was the other woman that broke up his parents. “She’s not my anything, and she’s told me as much.”

Ben leans forward and turns the water off; I say nothing, as I was done anyway. But then his voice comes, and it’s more than a little frightening. “She’s what, sweetheart?”

Quiet. Deep. Lethal. I bite my lip and shudder, then force a casual shrug. “She’s not my mom.”

“What did she say to you?” Ben asks, and his hands are gentle as they find my waist, but I know that they will get a lot less gentle if I don’t tell him exactly what I’m talking about.

I turn around and look up at him. “Just- when she gets frustrated, she snaps at me that she’s not my mother. And she isn’t.”

He nods slowly, eyes darkening. “And to think I gave the whore the benefit of the doubt,” he barely breathes.

“Ben- it’s fine, I-”

“No, it isn’t. No one talks to my little sweetheart like that.”

“What do you think you’re going to do?”

He grins, and it’s an evil, demonic look. His eyes are dark and sure. “Nothing much.”

I wrap my arms around his shoulder and stand on the tips of my toes and look up at him, our noses brushing. “Please, Ben, will you tell me?”

“Mmm,” he says, picking me up. I wrap my legs around his waist. “Better manners. So sorry, though, pet. This is still new, though, and that’s such a big ask.”

“You’re not going to hurt her, are you?”

“I’m not going to touch her.”

That’s not an answer.

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head, sweetheart. That’s what I’m here for.”

He’s carrying me towards the door. “Where are we going?”

“To the car, so I can fuck you senseless.”

I shudder, cling more tightly to him. “Please,” I breathe in his ear. “I want to lose my virginity in a bed.”

“No.”

“Please-”

“No.”

“Their bed,” I say quickly, and he stops dead. “We can get back at them like that, and I get to lose it in a bed, where we can move.”

His eyes flick towards mine and at first I think I’ve sealed my own coffin, but he gets a small, evil smirk, eyes darkening. “You’re a freak,” he says softly, and turns around, and he walks me towards their master suite.

Until now, I’ve yet to have seen it. Big and beautiful and glorious and perfectly to Qira’s taste. He throws me down on the bed and, smirking, lights all of their candles and turns on their music, but after a few moments, he rolls his eyes and changes it to something a little more to our taste. Still more gentle than Apocalyptic or Kill Me or Whore , though.

When he sits on the bed, he’s smirking, reaching both arms out and very smug as he settles down into the mattress. “Come here, pretty girl,” he beckons, and I slip into his lap.

His arms are around me and he’s kissing me deeply, pulling my hips into his and pressing his tongue into my overeager mouth. It isn’t long until his hands are making me all but hump him, and my hips are more than happy to play along.

My head falls back and he kisses my throat, growling hungrily into my throat, biting and flicking out his tongue. “Ben,” I moan. “Oh, yes…”

“Who’s your daddy, Rey?”

“You! Ben Solo,” I whimper. It’s the first he’s ever had me say it but he jokes about daddy kink with some of his friends and, when he does, he smirks at me.

“That’s fucking right,” he grumbles, yanking my flannel off of my shoulders. “Say it, baby.”

“You’re my daddy,” I whimper, grinding my core into his erection. “Daddy, I want you. Want you to fuck me into this bed and show me just how much my cunt belongs to you.”

He snarls and rips my Nirvana shirt by the collar, and I gasp, looking down. With a few more strong tugs, he shoves that off of me, too. “No more Kurt Cobain,” he says. “Just daddy in your life now.”

I shudder and nod. “Just daddy,” I echo.

He’s kissing me again then and pushing me back into the bed, his hands cupping my face as he spreads my legs. He humps me with vigor and my fingers fly to the hem of his shirt, dragging it up over his head. As soon as it’s gone our lips are locked again, hungry and desperate.

He wrenches my leggings off and throws them aside; I fumble with his belt and he slips it off, setting it a foot away as a sweet, terrifying promise. He rips my panties clean in half and then wrestles out of his boxer briefs and then we’re naked and he pins my thighs open and presses himself into my folds-

“Fuck,” he snarls, grinding through my arousal. “That’s so much fucking better, baby. You like that?”

I nod eagerly. “I love your cock, daddy,” I coo, and he rewards me with a deep kiss.

He wraps his arms around me and we make out as he teases my clit with his cock. “Sweet, beautiful girl,” he hisses in between kisses. “Perfect little thing, you know that? Made for me- meant for me. S’fucking fate, Rey. You’re all mine, forever.”

I shudder and nod and he bites my lip, not gentle, not rough.

“I love you,” he breathes, and then kisses me.

My mind reels and I whimper and cling to him, digging my nails in, eagerly pressing my tongue into him. I’m too horny to unpack that, and it makes my heart flutter and brain flood with panic, but he said it with such conviction.

“Please,” I beg some time later. “I need you. Please-”

He kisses down my throat. “Soon,” he says. “Got lost in that sweet, bratty mouth. Gotta pay some attention to these perfect little tits first.”

He flicks a tongue over my nipple and I cry out, back arching.

“Should have fucked you with the help here,” he grumbles. “Should have made sure your little friends heard me fuck you into Dad’s bed.”

I flush crimson and send out a silent prayer that he doesn’t talk about Han again. He suckles on my left nipple, toying with my right. His hand gropes the side of my left breast eagerly, pulling it towards his face. “Oh,” I moan. “Thank you, Ben. Thank you, daddy. So fucking good. Fuck.”

Rolling and sucking and nipping, flicks of his tongue and drags of his teeth. His nails and knuckles tease the other one in turn, and if he’s rough to one, he’s rough to the other; if he’s gentle to one, he’s gentle to the other.

“Fuck,” I whine. “I’m- I’m so close- just from-”

Ben groans in appreciation but dutifully makes his way down my stomach, giving my ravaged body time to come back a bit. He kisses down one thigh and up the other, parting my folds with two fingers. “Gonna taste you,” he says. “You’re gonna come on my mouth and then I’ll fuck you, sweetheart.”

I whimper and flush. “A-are you su-sure-?”

“Yes.”

With that, he indulges me with a tongue and I moan and roll my hips forward. He clutches them, letting them move but making sure they leave room for his every whim. He flicks a tongue over my clit and looks up at me I let out the most sinful noise I’ve ever heard, eyes locked on his.

“You like that, sweetheart?”

“Yes, daddy! Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you, Ben- oh, fuck- yes!”

It does not take me long to come on his tongue as his nose expertly grinds into my clit, and I squirt on him and he grunts surprise but does not let up, growling in appreciation. He pulls back and teases my flesh gently with his fingers, looking up at me with gleaming eyes. “Such a good girl.”

“Thank you, daddy,” I sob out in delirium. “I’m going to die.”

He laughs a generous, beautiful, kind sound, kissing up my belly and over my sternum. He pays attention to my breasts again, and which one gets his mouth is flipped, until I’m begging him to take me already.

He adjusts himself and notches his cock at my entrance, holding me round the middle with one arm and cupping my cheek with the other, and looks into my eyes. “I love you, Rey.”

I whimper and look into his eyes. “I love you, too, Ben.”

He groans, eyes closing, and he sets his forehead on mine and he rolls inside.

“Oh,” I cry out, and those nighttime play sessions stretching me with his fingers were very helpful. It’s like he knew precisely how tight to leave me so that it would be alarming and barely sore and so, so, so fucking hot when he finally seated himself into me. “Ben,” I purr.

“You freaky little- fucking- sweet, perfect girl,” he snarls, sounding like a crazed man on the edge of something. He wrapped his arms more surely around me, face nuzzling into mine as he keeps himself seated inside of me, grinding as gently as he’s able to. “Fuck. Do you have any fucking idea how good you feel on my cock, sweetheart?”

I’m only able to whimper and drag him more soundly against me, nuzzle back into him. “Daddy,” I coo.

“Are you ready, Rey?”

I give an eager nod and then his knees slide up and his hips roll out, his upper body caught in a tight embrace with mine, as he starts-

Making love to me. Sure, roughly, but slowly and rhythmically and with great, precise care. I moan as my walls instinctively clench and roll, as pleasure works out through my body like ripples turning to waves on the sea’s surface. I gasp in a sporadic, shaky breath, dragging my nails over his back.

“Such a sweet girl,” he breathes. “And you feel like fucking heaven. However you want it, baby, I’ll give it to you like that. You deserve it so fucking good, Rey. You like it? You like how daddy’s taking your virginity in mommy and daddy’s bed?”

I could live without that last part but I’m far too gone to even feel the discomfort. I nod. “So perfect,” I whimper as every cell in my body catches fire and ignites the rest, as my senses fall into sharp focus on him and only him. “So fucking big, so fucking good, daddy. Thank you, Ben- fuck, yes…”

And then he’s kissing me, much less composed than usual, his tongue more eager, and it’s like we’ve forgotten the rules he’d slowly laid out over the past week. Nothing but passion and need drives our actions as his tongue delves into my mouth, and as seconds turn to breathless minutes, it’s like our bodies have melded into one single being. Maybe I’m delusional, but it’s a divine, heavenly ecstasy, as if he’d taken me in his hands and exalted me.

And then he pulls away to breathe and sets his mouth by my temple, shifting for a faster, sharper tempo, and I’m panting into his neck.

“Oh! O-oh! Yes!”

“Yeah, baby? Want it harder now?”

“Yes, please! Please, Ben- please, daddy, fuck me harder.”

And then it’s faster, harder, meaner, rougher, all with the same sweet undertones he’d had since he’d finished ripping my clothes to tatters. “Fuck, yeah, sweetheart- take my fucking cock. Taking every last fucking bit of your stepbrother’s cock. You like that, sissy? Want me to fuck you full of my come and watch it fucking gush out of you, only for me to finger it all back in there?”

And, in the heat of sex, there might be something a little arousing about being teased like that, and absolutely no synapses to force together for my more sensible side to try and unpack it. “Yes!” I cry out. “Fucking fill me, daddy, and make sure I take it and keep it and-”

He snarls and cuts me off with a passionate, possessive kiss, and again, we’re back to his rules, the way he spaces out indulgences with our tongues. Then, he pulls back just a bit, supporting himself with a hand pressed into the bed beside my head, and his other hand kneads a breast as he fucks into me even harder. “Such a good fucking girl, sweetheart. You like this, too, baby?”

Lewd slaps sound and my cunt is making downright obscene noises, but again I feel transcendent. I nod vigorously as I moan and whimper and gasp.

“That’s right,” he says, pinching and twisting my nipple more cruelly than ever, and I keen, but he does it for just long enough that it’s still an act I’m in love with. After soothing my nipple with gentle, rolling fingers, he switches hands to knead my other breast. “You like it however I want to fucking give it to you, don’t you?”

“Know exactly how to make me feel good,” I whine.

“That’s right, sweetheart. So you just let that pretty little head rest and watch daddy fuck you how he likes. ‘Cause that’s how it’ll be best for you, too.”

“Yes,” I whimper, putting a hand on either of his forearms.

He rest on his elbow to kiss me until we’re breathless again, then pulls more fully back and hooks my knees over his elbows, grabbing my hips with his big, beautiful hands, and he’s pistoning into me unforgivingly. He indluges my sweet spots and absolutely batters my cervix and it’s a perfect mix of agony and a bliss beyond bliss. I’m getting louder and louder. “Fuck! Yes! Daddy, fuck, yes, fuck me so hard, fuck me so fucking mean- yes, Ben, thank you, fuck, yes, yes, yes!”

“You’re a fucking freak, Rey Niima,” he snarls, but he says it with such hot passionate that maybe I’m into being called a ‘freak’ now, too. “My sweet, pretty little fucking freak and you want me ruin this beautiful, perfect fucking cunt. Isn’t that right, baby?”

“Yes, daddy, please,” I whimper.

“Say it.”

With more than a little stumbling and stammering, I do- “I’m your little fucking freak and I want you to fucking ruin my cunt ‘cause it’s fucking yours and you can!”

Another dark, approving snarl, and his eyes wander closed and his head tips back. “Fucking- shit, baby. Not gonna last much longer. Never came this quickly. You need daddy to play with your clit to come?”

I realize much to my surprise that, actually, I probably don’t need it, but I ask all the same. “Please, Ben, play with my clit. Please, touch me, daddy. Please, make me come on your glorious fucking cock-”

He laughs breathlessly and it’s perhaps the most beautiful one yet. He immediately moves his hand to toy with my clit, not bothering to go slow and steady- it’s a fast assault, and I realize he’s probably very close to the edge. “Glorious, baby? Such a sweet girl.”

“Glorious, heavenly, divine…” I whimper.

He hums in amusement, eyes locking on mine, so bright and so dark at once. “Sweet, perfect, angel ,” he says, and though is voice is a little teasing, it’s still a sweet and genuine sound. He leans forward, placing one of my legs on his shoulder, and fucks into me in a delectable mix of rough and sweet. “What are you into, sweetheart? What can I do to push you over the edge?”

I don’t know. What do I want him to do?

Without thinking, I pull one of his hands up to my mouth and suckled on his fingers, closing my eyes and losing myself in it.

“Mmm, is that what you want, pretty girl? Wanna suck on whatever part of daddy you can get those cocksucking lips on?”

I whimper and nod, sucking his two fingers in deeper, rolling my tongue around them, looking up at him from beneath my lashes.

“God, fuck, look at you, baby,” Ben says, running his thumb over my jaw, still working me dangerously close to that edge. “Hottest fucking girl in the world. Big, beautiful eyes… Are you close, my angel baby?”

I nod and whimper.

“Good. You don’t have to ask this time- I want you to keep sucking on those fingers for me.” He adds a third finger and my mouth opens up a bit, making a show of my sucking. “That’s perfect, baby, fuck.”

It hits me as soon as it hits him, by some holy miracle, and we rock into one another in tandem like live wires hissing with electricity. He snarls another slew of oaths and filthy words, but my brain short circuits and I give the most sinful noise I’ve ever heard into his fingers as they press deeper into my mouth, tempting my gag reflex. Heat floods my twitching, seizing core as I shudder and convulse beneath him.

His forehead finds mine and he thrusts softly a few more times, easing my leg off of his shoulder. “So fucking perfect, Rey. Did you like that, baby?”

“Yes,” I whimper. “Thank you, daddy.”

He seats his softening cock into me one more time and kisses me deeply for a few moments, then pulls back and sits on his butt, his knees under mine, and looks at my spread cunt. I can feel him running down onto the bedding. For thankfully the first time, when I glance to the side, I notice the wall featuring pictures of us all- Han and Qira, Qira and I, Han and Qira. A few of young Ben, a few of young me, a couple each of younger versions of our ‘parents’.

I send a silent prayer begging for forgiveness. I’m not particularly religious, but suddenly, I feel… Gross. For having not only done this, but asked to.

Ben seems to sense this and his hand stops in its tracks, aimed for my pussy. “Are you alright, pet?”

“I don’t think so.”

He instantly moves forward, laying on his side and guiding me to do the some, holding me. “What’s the matter, Rey?”

I curl into him, and for a moment, I don’t think I’m going to say- but for some reason, a tender trust has built up somewhere in this hectic, strange week. “I feel gross. For doing it here.”

He kisses my forehead and then my temple. “It’s alright, Rey,” he says. “You’re not gross. The help is going to be back before they are- it’s not like they’re going to lay down in our mess.”

I’m surprised but grateful for his comfort, and I curl more fully against him. He peppers me with more kisses, hands gently rubbing into my back, my arms. “Right,” I breathe.

He comforts me about that until the grossness is gone. After a few more gentle minutes, he speaks again- “Did you like your first time, sweetheart?”

I nod and smile, flushing. “Yes, I did. Was it good for you?”

He gives a bright laugh, and that’s the best one yet. “Oh, yeah, baby. Best yet.”

I bite my lip, not sure I believe him. “Better than Baz?”

“Yes.”

I don’t think I believe him. “Did you say that to Baz?”

“Well, until you, Baz was the best, so… Yeah. I don’t go around saying it willy nilly. Have you seen me lie before?”

No, I haven’t. Even when he’s misguiding people, I’ve never heard him lie once- it’s all cleverly worded and concealed truths. “Do you promise?”

He catches my chin and guides my face up to kiss me sweetly, tenderly. “I promise you’re the best I’ve ever had, baby.”

After a bit more lazing, he picks me up and carries me off, paging the help. He carries me to his bathroom and draws a bath, and after my sheepish request, he fetches a bath bomb from my bathroom. He brings my soap and stuff, too.

“I wanna smell like you,” I breathe.

That earns me an eager, tender kiss. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“And your bath bomb.”

I giggle. “We’ll smell like each other.”

We lounge in the bath, and after a while, Jyn walks in with two glasses of wine. I flush and move into Ben, but only my tits are at all visible, and I’m turned away from her, and she’s a girl, anyway, so I don’t actually care. She doesn’t look, anyway, just sets the wine on the fancy tray waiting to rest on porcelain tub.

“Thank you,” I say, and Ben blinks.

“You’re welcome, Miss-”

“Just Rey, Jyn.”

Jyn offers me a smile, then glances at Ben before winking at me, and I flush and grin.

“Go ahead and smoke in my room. It’s cold today.”

“Thank you, just Rey,” Jyn says as she leaves.

Ben’s giving me a small, funny smile. I ignore him and adjust the tray to rest in front of us and I sip my wine. I don’t like wine, but it makes me feel fancy. Ben takes a sip of his own. “You’re a sweetheart,” he says after a time.

“She’s my friend. I hope.”

He looks at me like I’m adorable. Maybe I am, but not for that. “Sounded like friends.”

I curl into him. “She lets me bum smokes sometimes.”

Ben frowns at that, brow furrowing. “You smoke?”

“Only when I bum a cigarette a day off of her, and take a puff or two off of Jess’ vape.”

“Who is Jess?”

“Another one of the help. The one that’s always with Jyn.”

“I don’t know any of their names.”

I roll my eyes. “The two prettiest ones.”

“Ah. I’ve gathered that.”

I push him playfully and take another sip of wine. “Spoiled pervert.”

He gives a dark laugh, and when he grips me, it is playfully threatening. I shoot him a flirtatious, defiant look.

“Don’t worry, daddy. I like that. But I wish you’d be nicer to the help.”

He looks a bit confused. “I’m not mean to them.”

“You don’t know their names and you don’t deign to thank them when they serve you.”

“Mmm. I’ll start thanking them. No promises on the names.”

I roll my eyes, but curl into him again.

“If,” he says. “You stop smoking. Not good for you.”

I frown. “We’ll see.”

“I guess we will.”

“Are we together?”

He laughs. “Yes.”

“What do you want from me?”

His eyes gleam as he looks into mine. “Everything. Forever. Didn’t I tell you that? You’re mine.”

I roll my eyes and shift, but I can tell he doesn’t like that. “What does that even mean? ‘Everything, forever’.”

“It means,” he says, containing his possessive agitation, at least for the moment. “That this is an every day thing. It means we’re going to keep pissing my dad off- we’ll clue him in to the fact that it’s more than just flirting eventually, but for now, I like the game. We’ll go to dances and I’ll take you on dates . We’ll match on Halloween and I’ll drown you in presents on Christmas and we’ll kiss at midnight on New Year’s Eve and, by summer, when our parents know the deal, we’ll go off and vacation for the summer before I go off to Harvard. I’ll come and visit you every chance I get and I’ll make damned sure I come back for all the dances and holidays. We’ll vacation in the summer and you’re already all set up to graduate a year early, because you’re impossibly smart. You’ll take a gap year and you’ll live with me- I know you’re yearning for a gap year after all that hard work, and you’ve mentioned it before. After that, you’ll go to the Ivy League of your choice, as much as I’d prefer you playing happy little housewife for me- and I only mention that on the off chance you change your mind. When you pick out your school, we’ll work on the details then. A bit hard to plan for a complete unknown.”

I listen in shock, staring at my wine, still sat contently in his lap. “It’s been two weeks.”

“I’ve always been good at knowing what I want.”

And what if I don’t want it? I know better than to ask. The question would set him off and while I didn’t think he’d hurt me, he might just leave me for that. So, since it sounds good and I want to want it, I’ll hold off on that unless I realize one day I don’t want it. “And then we’ll get married and have babies and live happily ever after?”

“To put it vaguely, yes.”

My mind is reeling, but not in a bad way. Not in a strictly good way, but not bad at all. “You are- not what I was expecting, Ben Solo.”

He laughs, wrapping his arms around me. “I don’t think anyone’s ever expected me to be what I am. It’s more than a little satisfying.” He kisses my head. “For the record, I wasn’t expecting you, either.”

“No?”

“No. And when Baz started dropping hints that we might be compatible, I wasn’t expecting it to be so… Perfect. I wasn’t expecting you yet, even then.”

We lounge in the bath for a while, gushing about how much we like each other and our reactions to everything that’s happened these past two weeks. And he’s funny and mischeivous and boyish. He reveals almost reluctantly that part of the confidence is an act- “Fake it ‘till you make it,” he mutters into his wine, and I giggle. When our fingers and toes are prunes and the bath is lukewarm at best, we finally get out and dry off. We curl up naked in his bed and, half dry and half full of hope, we speculate about the future.

He wants to be the CEO of his own company. I want to be a CFO. We could start a company together. Tai would get in on it and so would his friend Armitage and maybe, just maybe, he’ll help me get Finn into a place like Fops- maybe even Fops, for real- because he’s smart and he’s got big dreams, too.

Then, when he’s tired, I’m not, so I kiss him and he makes me promise I’ll sleep in his bed tonight when I am tired, and I pull on his robe and go check to make sure Qira and Han’s room is clean- it is, and it looks like nothing happened- and then I slip out onto my own personal balcony, feet tucked into luxurious slippers, to call my friends.

Rose first. I always thought I’d call Kay about sex, but it was so sweet that I need Rosie first.

“Hey, stranger!” Rose says lightheartedly.

“Forgotten me after two weeks, Rosie? That stings.”

Rose giggles. “It’s late , Rey, even for a Saturday.”

“I know, but I just lost my virginity to my hot boyfriend who’s talking about our plans through college, so I was hoping you’d make an exception for me.”

Rose is gasping and giggling before I’m even done talking. “Rachel Anne Niima!”

“Rose Marie Tico!”

“Boyfriend since when?”

I take a page out of his book and give a misleading answer without actually lying. “The timeline is debatable. My hot, rich, spoiled boyfriend asks for nothing, and I found out after the fact.”

“Oh, my God, Rey.”

“It’s sooner than I thought I’d lose my virginity,” I admit. “But he’s so- God, Rey. Even if this isn’t forever like he’s already planning, I want it to be, and even if it isn’t- I’m still glad he was first.”

“I need details! Did you call Kay?”

“She’s next on the list.”

“I’m honored!”

“I considered a group call but I can’t handle you both at the best of times.”

Rose giggles. “Details!”

“Okay,” I sigh, trying to work out how to do this without lying or offending Rosie’s delicate sensibilities. “It really started amping up two weeks ago.”

“Amping up?”

“Getting… Sexual. I guess. But we didn’t do it until tonight. I wanted to call you sooner but I had no free time and didn’t even know how to word what was going on, and it just… Kept getting pushed back, I guess.”

“That’s fine! I bet a place like your little prep school keeps you weighed down with homework.”

“Yeah,” I say. “Um, also…”

“What?”

“He might be Han’s son.”

There is a pause. “Qira’s boyfriend’s son?”

“Her… Fiance…”

“Your foster mother’s fiance’s son?”

“Yes.”

“Han is about to adopt you.”

“... Yes.”

“Your stepbrother?”

“... Yes.”

There is a longer pause. “Okay, that’s nasty, but at least you didn’t, like, know each other at all before the… Dating. Right?”

“Right.”

“Okay. Fine. Gross, but fine. Continue.”

That was better than I was expecting. “So, he goes to First Order, too.”

“Okay!”

“He’s a senior and literally every girl wants him, and/or has already had him, and I feel so- so not good enough and yet also so powerful . It’s more than a little embarassing.”

Rose gives a gentle, fond sound. “You’re so good enough, Rey Niima. And the powerful- there’s no reason to be embarassed.”

“He’s more than six feet tall.”

“Nice,” Rose coos. She is five foot and loves tall guys.

“And he’s broad and muscular and he works out every day.”

“Nice!”

“And he’s got beautiful fucking eyes- true, whiskey brown in the center, and like honey in the sun. Jagged circles in the center and then it drops off into this beautiful color that’s not quite brown but it isn’t really green and it’s like murky water and fuck, Rose, I could look into his eyes forever and starve to death happily.”

Rose keens softly, full of excitment. “Hell, yeah!”

“Long hair that’s too dark to be brown but too brown to be black. Wavy, and it’s so fucking soft. Big ears and a big nose add perfect charm to the perfect face and he’s so sexy and hot and still so cute at the same time.”

“That’s amazing!”

“Freckles and birthmarks and moles and-”

“I need pictures , Rey Niima!”

“I’ll make him take pics with me tomorrow,” I giggle out. “Giant, magical fucking hands, huge feet, a fucking behemoth cock-”

“Rey!” Rose squeals, delighted. Then, softer. “Sorry, sorry. I’ll keep it down.”

I giggle, impassioned. “I’m so in love with him,” I gush before I can stop myself.

But- am I? I feel like it, I realize, and I’m struck by it. But so soon? It doesn’t seem possible. Rose croons something but I’m too distracted to really hear it.

“Um,” I say softly. “I’ve- I’ve never said that, and neither has he. I haven’t even thought it yet, but then I said it and it feels like I mean it and it’s so soon and I-?”

“It’s okay,” Rose giggles. “It’s okay, Rey.”

“Yeah,” I say softly. “And he’s so- intense, and intimidating, but sweet and playful and dreamy and ugh. I feel like the center of the universe around him, like everything is bending to the gravity of his will and his will is me . Does that make sense?”

“Oooh,” Rose coos. “Good for you!”

And I gush more for more than hour, and answer any questions she has.

Until one. “And you used protection , right?”

“It’s taken care of, killjoy.”

“Good! Fine. I won’t push. Just be safe . You don’t need to be popping out a kid if he’s planning to make you his CFO, now, do you?”

“Right.”

“Okay. It’s, like, eleven. Call Kay, I’m going to go pass out. And do not forget my pictures!”

“Of course! I love you, Rosie. Goodnight.”

“I love you, too!”

I hang up, then call Kay.

“Heyyo!”

“A bitch got laid and that bitch is me.”

Kay gives a dramatic gasp. “Oh, fuck yeah, baby. I’ve been waiting for this.”

I giggle. “Okay, so, I gave a… Skillfully misleading version of events to Rosie, and you are the only friend I have who’s crazy enough for the whole thing. Are we ready?”

“I’m in love with you.”

I giggle. “And, before we start, I consented to everything he did to me before the fact.”

Kay literally groans in delight. “Lay it on me, Rey. What kinky shit did your Upper East boy toy do to you?”

Kay’s weird. Kay’s kinky. “He’s not my boy toy- if anyone’s a toy, it’s me.”

An out and out moan, but it’s played up. “Hell yeah. I love that for you.”

“He’s my boyfriend. And my stepbrother.”

Words cannot describe the sound that Kay makes. “Oh, that’s fucking nasty! I love that for you, truly. Wish it were me. Dad’s still single- be on the lookout for rich moms with hot sons. We’ll be nasty together.”

I giggle and shake my head. “I can’t stand you.”

“Give me more!”

I giggle some more, because I can’t stop myself. “Okay, so. He started it all to piss off his dad,”

“Wow, okay.”

“And he calls me ‘sis’ in front of his dad-”

“Wow!”

“- and in bed-”

A devilish squeal. “Freaky! You’re freaks , Rey Niima!”

I giggle again and shake my head. “But! He’s so very certain we’re going to be getting married one day and I’ll be damned if I don’t believe it when he says it.”

“Get the bread. Secure the bag. I love that for you.”

“Oh, my God, it’s not even about that-”

“It should be! Even if it’s also about something else!”

“I like him, Kay. So much.”

“Good!”

And then I gush about his personality and the way he makes me feel and, I can’t help it, how hot he is, too.

“I love that for you, truly, but get to the kinky incest.”

“It is NOT incest and don’t you DARE say that again.”

“Fine. Get to the kinky step-incest.”

“Fuck you, Kaydie, I’ll hang up-”

“No, no,” Kay giggles out. “Get to the kinky sex. Please. I’ll be good.”

“Okay,” I sigh softly. “So. He started by just touching and teasing my thigh until I was literally soaking through my panties-”

“Fuck! You’re a slut. I was not expecting that from my pretty little virgin, but okay. Go on.”

“Fuck you! He’s the only one who’s allowed to call me a slut.”

Kay giggles. “Noted! Continue.”

“And then he made me blow him in his Benz-”

“Fuck yesss-”

“And then he fingered me and gave me the best orgasm of my life at the time.”

“Naturally, naturally.”

“And later that night, he came into my room, and gave me a sedative so I could get some rest and he could play with me .”

“Woah!” Kay says. “He drugged you?”

“Consentually, yes.”

“Love that for you!”

“And I woke up feeling so fucking amazing . High on a bajillion orgasms. Apparently, I can squirt.”

“Oh, fuck yes.”

“And covered in bruises . Angry, mean, purple ones, and I still am and it turns me on so fucking much-”

Another giddy squeal. “Fuck! Can you share?”

“Maybe. Only if I was there, too, though.”

“Of course!”

I’m shocked to find that I don’t mind the thought of having a threesome. “Only with you, though. If he was okay with that. ‘Cause you’re you.”

“I’m flattered, babe.”

“And I don’t think I’d do much with you.”

“Rude, but okay.”

I moved through the week and then got to tonight- the sweet and then the rough and then the mean, then the cuddling and the bath and the cuddling again.

“Fuck. I’m so fucking happy for you!”

“Me, too! I could gush about him forever, but it’s almost one in the morning and I’m going to go curl up to my hot boyfriend.”

“Yes, I’m sure he misses his sweet little sissy.”

“Fuck you, Kaydel. Goodnight, I love you.”

“I love you, too!”

I hang up and yawn, stretching. I was tired at midnight but too busy gushing to care. I hug his robe tightly around me and make my way to his bedroom; he’s laying awake, his lamp on, with a smirk and dark, gleaming eyes.

And I instantly know he was spying on me. I flush and close the door, set the rob aside, and kick off my slippers beside the bed.

“It’s cute that you think this is consensual,” Ben says.

His words give a chill running up my spine but I say nothing as I get into bed, tuck my cheek against his shoulder. “Why aren’t you asleep?”

“I was waiting for my girlfriend.”

I flush darker at his tone. “Are you annoyed with me?”

He chuckles softly. “No, sissy. Settle on down.”

I run fingers along his chest. “You’re acting differently. I don’t know how to respond to that.”

He snickers softly, running his fingers up my spine. “You’re so very on edge at just the slightest change, pet. Relax.”

“What’s the change about?”

He looks over at me, infinitely amused. “Surprised. Very glad to hear you like my marks, sis.”

But once again it sounds like he’s in the know about something that I’m not, and it’s deeply, deeply unsettling. “Talk to me.”

His eyes gleam with some dark pride. “We’re talking.”

“I’m talking. You’re being vague and beating around the bush, and I don’t even know where the bush is or for certain if it’s there at all.”

He laughs at that, looking up at the ceiling. “Why do you want me to fuck your friend Kay?”

I inhale sharply, but I suppose the forward question is sort of what I was asking for. “Because she’d like it and I wanna watch,” I breathe softly.

“Mmm,” he says, appraising the answer. “We’ll see how much trouble you’re in for even entertaining the idea when I decide what you deserve, based off your reasoning.”

“How much trouble I’m in?” I echo, prickling.

His eyes gleam hellishly, like the licking amber flames of hellfire. “You ask daddy for anything you want. You can giggle with your friends all you want, but remember- you belong to me. That cunt and all those desires belong to me. You come to me first and, if you don’t, you’ll be punished for it. And none of that is remotely negotiable.”

I look up at him, frozen, scarecely breathing. His eyes are still gleaming as he looks down at me.

“Am I understood, sissy?”

“Yes,” I breathe without a thought. He smiles, then turns off the lamp.

“Good girl. Now, roll over and press that ass into daddy’s cock and fall asleep. Dream of me.”

I flush and do as I’m bid, and he curls around me, his nose resting just above my ear, his breaths tickling my face and hair.

“Oh,” he breathes softly some time later. “By the way. Say it to my face- what you said to Rose.”

Oh. “I-” my breath hitches. “I… I love you, daddy,” I barely breathe.

He hums contently in my ear. “Good girl.”

Chapter Text

When I wake up, I’m tied to Ben’s bed spread eagle and his face is buried between my legs.

“Oh,” I groan, seizing up against my restraints. He growls gently into my clit and I keen as my mind absolutely shatters.

“Who owns this cunt?” he asks as his fingers fuck me through the aftershocks.

“Ben Solo,” I whimper.

“Who’s your fucking daddy?”

“You, Ben.”

“Manners, pet.”

“Thank you, daddy, for making me come.”

“Good girl.”

I press back into the bed and try to shimmy away from the pleasure, but that’s not an option; it is not negotiable. Ben eventually pulls back, only to lay above me and notch himself at my entrace. He looks down at me, then turns my face to each side, eyes devouring me.

“Open.”

I open my mouth, and he spits three times- once on my tongue, once in the corner of my eye, another on the opposite cheek. “Thank you, daddy,” I whimper.

“Stupid, worthless fucking whore,” he says, and then, he shoves inside of me.

He’s rough and unforgiving, but even my not-quite-adjusted body takes him with ease after all the foreplay he must have given me while I slept.

“At least you know your place, though- don’t you? Only I’m allowed to call you names, and you know you fucking like it. Don’t you, sweetheart?”

“Yes, daddy,” I breathe, closing my eyes to focus on the feel of him fucking me angrily.

“Do you want to know what your punishment was?” He says it like the question is a test, and the answer will decide some fate.

Luckily, I’ve read (and written) some weird, kinky shit, and I know a few lines that might be appropriate. “If it pleases you, daddy.”

He snarls into my ear. “Fucking slut,” he snaps. “I fucked your ass this morning. You were already asleep, so your nighttime medicine had to be administered via syringe. That little whimper when I prickled that pretty little neck almost had me doing some… Far worse things to you. You ought to be careful not to piss me off, love. You make daddy want to really hurt you.”

My pleasure-drunk mind is entirely unsure what to do with any of that information. I try to focus on the pain that should be there if he’d, you know, fucked my ass entirely without preparation, but I feel only numbness.

“Used some more medicine,” he grunts as he thrusts, as if he can read my mind. “Should feel it in an hour or two. Wanted to wake you up to a good, hard fuck, and I wanted you to like it. So you know daddy still cares about you, even if you’re going to feel how badly I ripped that ass in two.”

“Thank you, daddy,” I whimper.

He laughs. “For what?” Again, it feels like a test.

I blink up at him, and his eyes darken at the sight. He likes it when I blink, and so, I do it a lot. “Making me take my punishment.”

He growls in my ear, deeply satisfied, but I can feel that the test isn’t quite over. “Is that right?”

“Yes, daddy. Gotta make me- oh!- a g- a good girl for you.”

He bites down on my ear hard, and despite the pain that leaves me gasping, it feels like a reward. “That’s right, baby. Your punishments let you know daddy’s taking care of you- that he loves you enough to want you to behave.”

“Yes,” I whimper, and when we word it like that, I’m almost too turned on to be bitter about the fact that I missed out on… Losing the last vestige of my virginity.

Until I go and think about it like that.

“Aw- now, why does daddy’s little sweetheart look so sad all of a sudden? I thought we were getting along.”

“We are,” I whisper, desperate to assure him.

“Why do you look so sad?”

I tell him, and he gives a dark chuckle. “That’s your punishment, pet. Should have kept that whore fucking mouth shut.”

Slap slap slap , his balls hit my half-dumb underside, and his hips slam into my spread thighs. “Daddy,” I whimper.

“Yes?”

“I-I’m so- I’m so close…”

“Already?” Ben laughs.

“Y-yes- can I- please, daddy, may I come?”

“Come for me, slut. So easy to please.”

I was expecting to have to beg longer; it takes a few more moments to come, but he shudders as another orgasm rolls over me and I clench down on him, crying out. “Thank you, daddy!”

“That’s it,” he snarls. “Louder. Jyn and Jess are here- I made sure of it. I want your little friends to know how hard I’m fucking you.”

“Thank you, daddy!” I cry out, louder, even as I flush.

He suckles on my throat, then bites hard. “Tell me you’re a freaking fucking cunt.”

“I-I’m a freaky fucking c-cunt!”

“Tell me you love your big brother’s cock.”

I blanch, whimpering, and squirm. It takes me a few moments to muster it up; he’s about to snap at me when I cry out, “I-I! I l-love my big- big brother’s c-cock!”

He snarls in approval, peppering my throat and face with kisses and nips. “Tell me all you’re worth is creaming on the end of my cock.”

It’s the final request, for now. He grabs my hips and cements himself deep inside of me, grinding into my cervix painfully as he comes.

“Tha-thank you, da-daddy,” I whine.

He pulls back eventually and releases me, a smug, satisfied look on his face. He rolls his tongue over his teeth, eyeing me, then presses his spilling seed back inside of me. “I should probably wait for you to figure it out,” he says in a low, sadistic voice. “But I want to be able to savor your reaction in private, even if it would be better if you see for yourself.”

I know I’m not going to like it. I stare at him, waiting, and he grins at me.

“Mommy and Daddy are home, too,” he breathes in my ear. “And I’m certain they heard.”

He pulls back quickly to catch the look of horror that must be blooming over my face. He keeps his face schooled down to a small smirk, clearly savoring it, just like he said. He stands up and guides me onto my feet-

And then someone’s pounding on the door.

“We’re naked,” Ben calls, smug.

“Benjamin fucking Solo,” Han’s voice snarls.

Ben looks truly twisted. “Go brush your teeth- in here, pet.”

I try not to feel any of the shame that’s quickly threatening to fully overtake me, and I walk towards his bathroom to brush my teeth.

When we’re all cleaned up and I’m wearing his clothes, Ben keeps me close to him as we walk out of his room.

“Let me talk, baby. You just keep close and look pretty.”

I’m more than okay with that, actually.

It’s not long before we’re all gathered in the family room. Ben sits in the big, wide recliner, and I’m half in his lap, half tucked up against him. Qira’s sitting silently on the sofa, ankles crossed, hands folded in between her knees, shoulders pressed together and eyes locked on the ground. Her face is impassive and she looks like she’s trying to make herself as small as possible.

Han stalks in last, rubbing a hand over his mouth, and pauses to look at us, horrified and grim and angry. “Ben- what the fuck?”

Ben glances around the room. He’s not so smug now, but his eyes glimmer; he looks like he’s in a business meeting, or something, one he’s excited for, one he’s going to get a lot out of. His fingers stroke up my spine. “Family meeting,” Ben says, and a look passes over Han’s face. “Been a while, hasn’t it?”

Han tries again. “Rey,” he implores, less angry and more grim. “What the fuck?”

I don’t look at him- I can’t, and I doubt that I’m supposed to. I tuck myself more fully into Ben, who smirks at Han for it, eyes glittering. “Now, leave her be. She’s never had a family of her own- just wanted to bond, is all-”

“Fuck you,” Han snaps, and from the quirk of Ben’s brow and the way his eyes darken, I doubt it’s a commonly shared sentiment. “She’s fucking fifteen, Ben.”

“So?”

“So, it’s fucking illegal . You could go to fucking jail!” Han says.

“Yeah? We’ll see about that, Dad.” Ben looked over at me. “Do you want me to go to jail?”

“No,” I whisper immediately.

Ben looks up at Han. “She’s the best sister a guy could-”

“Stop fucking calling her that,” Han snarls.

“Why? It pisses you off.”

“It’s fucking creepy, Ben. Christ.”

Ben laughs at that, letting his other hand trail up my shin. “Sissy likes it like that.”

I close my eyes and flush. He’s just- fully painting it out to be all me.

“Likes calling me ‘daddy’, too,” Ben goes on, and Han lets out a strangled sound. “Like I said, she’s never had a family of her own, so I guess those words must feel different to her.”

“Did you use a fucking condom?” Han snaps.

“Of course we did,” Ben lies. “I got her on birth control, too.”

I’ve never heard him lie- not once. I don’t react at all.

This is bad. This is dangerous. He did get it taken care of somehow, didn’t he? Of course he did. There’s no way he wants a kid, either.

He wouldn’t do that to me. And if he did- Qira and Han would help me. Right?

Of course.

“Rey?”

“I said, leave her the fuck alone. She’s probably embarassed and scared out of her wits.”

At least Ben Solo knows some mercy, even if it’s probably just to have his own way.

But then, he pulls up the hem of my shirt. I don’t think about it at first as his hands soothe my skin-

“Oh, my God,” Qira breathes, sounding- devastated.

Han has literally thrown me aside in a moment and I tumble onto the dark red leather of the sofa beside Qira. Ben shoves Han hard and then they’re all but snarling at each other, eyes locked, both ready to fight. They’re the same height, but Ben is already a hair more broad, and he works out. Han’s old, and he’s no match.

“Stop it!” Qira says, getting to her feet. Both men promptly ignore her.

“What are those fucking bruises, Ben?” Han snaps. “Why don’t you pick someone your own fucking size, not some five-foot-five fifteen year old girl?”

Ben shoves his father again. “I didn’t do a goddamn thing to her that she didn’t fucking love,” he snarls. “Asked for fucking everything. Don’t believe me? Check her internet history- girl’s a freak. Ask her friend Kay, too- she was boasting about all those bruises she begged me to give her just last night, Dad.”

I turn crimson and look away, but I feel Qira’s eyes on me and I don’t want to know her reaction to all that.

Han’s coming towards me then and I whimper and backpedal, hugging myself. Ben grabs Han and physically prevents him from taking another step in my direction.

“Leave her alone,” Ben snarls hatefully. “You’re scaring her, and I’ll break your fucking jaw for it if you take one more goddamn step in her direction.”

Han shoves his son back- well, he tries to. He looks over at me. “Is he hurting you?”

I watch the two of them struggle, watch Han act as if he’s not woefully out of his league. Ben would win, easily, in a physical altercation. Even if Ben was hurting me, there wouldn’t be a goddamn thing Han could do about it. “No!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!”

Han relaxes, then, and Ben wrenches him backwards, shoving him several feet away, and physically blocks the path to me. Qira’s sitting down again, feet tucked beneath her, looking tired and waif-like. Han turns away, running a hand through his hair, and takes a moment to compose himself before turning around and jabbing a finger into Ben’s chest. “She gets pregnant,” he snarls. “And you’re the one paying to take care of it.”

Take care of it. From his tone, I know what he means, and it does not involve parenthood. I shiver.

“Yeah,” Ben counters, voice cold. “She’s mine, Dad. You’ve got one already- you’ve had two.”

Qira looks ill all of a sudden.

“Jesus, Ben- is that what this is about? You’re sleeping with the girl to- to piss me off?”

“You think I’d fuck someone if I didn’t want to because of you, you ham-fisted old bastard?” Ben snarls. “No. I’m not going to lie and say I don’t like the queasy fucking looks you get, but this doesn’t have a goddamn thing to do with you.” Ben stalks forward, and Han tenses, eyeing his son with a stern and yet weary look. “She’s fucking mine, Dad. She’s my concern, not yours. She’s moving into my room. We’ve got the school year planned to perfection. We’ve got the next two years after that planned soundly. Rey. Is. Mine.”

Qira’s gawking, but Han seems begrudgingly settled by the words. “Fine,” he grumbles, and when he glances at me-

It’s like a forlorn, fatherly yearning, and it makes me feel sick, and I look to the side, uncomfortable.

“Oh, look at that,” Ben says, voice deceptively gentle. “I’m the only daddy she wants.”

“Fuck you,” Han snaps as if Ben has hit a nerve.

Despite the situation, there’s just one thing playing in my head that threatens to send me into a very innappropriate fit of giggles.

I outlived you, H.R. Pickens! I crushed you into the ground, and now your bones turn to oil beneath my living feet! I married your granddaughter, filled her belly with my festering seed, and sired a boy! He is my final revenge, H.R.!

“Now,” Ben says coolly. “My girlfriend and I have a nice brunch with Bazine and Tai to get ready for.”

When we get to my room, Ben picks me up and sets me on the bed himself, looking down and taking in my face. One hand pushes my hair back and the other settles into the thin of my waist.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes.”

“Do you promise?”

“I promise,” I breathe.

His eyes wander for a few more moments before settling on my eyes. “Good.” He kisses me deeply, sweetly. He stands after a few moments. “I’ll pick something out for you, sweetheart.”

As he searches through my closet, I take out my phone and maybe send him the SNL skit. Just that little excerpt. Only after he has set a serviceable outfit on my bed and told me to get changes does he pull out his phone- I hear the skit playing as I get changed, and I flush crimson and try to fight my nervous laughter.

He wraps his arms around me as soon as I’m dressed, holding me from behind. He presses kisses into neck. “You think you’re funny,” he grumbles, but he sounds amused.

“Sometimes.”

He kisses my jaw. “You want my festering seed, sweetheart?”

I giggle, flushing darker, and look away. “Well,” I breathe softly. “I’ve grown fond of it.”

“I’m sure you have.”

I wiggle to face him and look up at him, and he looks down at me with a satisfied, proud smirk.

This is not negotiable and he’s said as much, and you’re happy and smiling up at him, anyway.

He presses a kiss into my lips. “Go put some face on, baby. Pretty as you are without it.”

I kiss him again. “Yes, daddy.”

I head into my bathroom and begin doing my makeup, taking Baz’s generously offered tips that make no sense to me, but that she stressed quite a bit. He came in behind me, gently brushing through my hair, then combing it.

“You do smell like me,” he said with no small amount of possessive smugness. He presses a kiss into my temple. “I love you,” he barely breathes into my ear, and there’s a verve to it I can’t quite place.

Maybe I just don’t want to place it. “I love you, too.”

He gives another kiss. “Pretty girl. You’re good at that, sweetheart. Do you like it?”

I’m not sure how to answer for a moment. “I like doing makeup. Not fond of wearing it, though. I do my friends’ makeup all the time.”

“Mmm,” he hums, and I can see him file the bit of information away.

“Am I on any form of birth control?” I ask suddenly.

His eyes gleam. “It’s taken care of, killjoy.”

I stiffen. “I’m just trying to make sure I didn’t lie to my friend.”

“You didn’t lie,” he says, and I believe him. “It is taken care of.”

“And you’re not going to tell me how,” I grumble.

His eyes gleam again. “Nope.”

My makeup done, I spin to look at him. He quirks one brow, getting an amused smirk at the determined look in my eye. “Promise me something.”

“I promise you that you have the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen,” he says with that debonair smile.

I purse my lips, giving him a look, and ignore the way I soften. He does not. “You said you’ll take care of me. Make sure I’m set. Promise me you will. Whatever weird plans you have- fine. But I’m scared I’m gonna wind up pregnant or some shit and they’re not going to want me and you’re gonna decide you don’t, either-”

He cuts me off with an impassioned kiss. “I promise you that won’t happen,” he says. “If you got pregnant, they’d be fucking pissed, sure, but they’d adore that kid. And I would not leave you stranded even if I did not genuinely intend to make you mine forever- and I promise you that I do. You could not leave if you tried.”

The gentle but impassioned reassurance is marred at the end by a lethal, matter-of-fact venom, but I don’t care, because he’s said he won’t make me be alone. I lean into him and he holds me.

“Are you satisfied with that?” he asks, and for once, I fully catch the deeper implications.

He’s asking to make sure I won’t try to ruin whatever twisted plans he’s got going that he refuses to fill me in on. He’s asking if just being taken care of is enough for me to just… Let him do whatever with me.

And after a decade, at least, of being unloved and unwanted, I think playing pretty little housewife to some guy with control issues and twisted plans is good enough. Especially if he’s this hot and fun to be around.

“Yes, daddy,” I breathe, curling into him more.

I catch a dark, sinister smirk. “Good,” he says. “Off with you, then- go say goodbye to the parents and wait in the car.”

I stand on the tips of my toes to kiss him, and after several sweet, deep kisses, he slaps my ass as I walk off.

Qira is standing in the foyer, looking exhausted and some sort of high. She’s got pain meds of all sorts and she is no stranger to using them in excess. I bite my lip as I meet her eyes. “Hi,” I breathe.

She looks over at me, then smiles. “Hi, dear,” she says.

“I, uh… I’ll see you when I get back.”

“Have fun, dear.”

She hugs me gently, pressing a kiss into my temple as she only did when she was high. I step outside and make my way to the Benz, sitting quietly in the passenger seat and texting Kay.

Hi.

U good?

Yes. Double brunch date.

Ooh

Me n rosie want our PICS bitch xx

When he gets out to the car

Hectic morning lmao

Maybe Qira and Han know and maybe they’re not happy xx

SKskksksksksks

Rip

Ben gets in, pushing his hair back. “You ready, sweetheart?”

“Will you take pictures with me, please?”

He glances over, looking amused. “No. You don’t deserve selfies with me,” he quips, leaning over. I pull out Snapchat and we take a few, and he is beautiful and sweet and he keeps kissing me, my lips and my cheek and my temple and my hair. When I am satisfied, I send pictures to the group chat.

Who’s the hunk?

Hunk?

Who’s the freckled dork?

Finn, he’s hot.

Poe, you have bad taste.

Be nice to my baby’s boyfriend!

Her what

Her boyfriend, apparently

Good for you Rey

His name is Ben and I have a date

MOMMY LIKEY

I’m going to be gone. I will not be reading back, as Finn is clearly Not Impressed and I don’t really care, but my bestie deserves venting space xx

Thank you

It’s only bc ur important to me

Ik. ily all

Ben doesn’t even hide the fact that he’s snooping. “Tell me about Finn.”

“Best friend,” I say. “Since childhood. He was in the first foster home I was in, and we got close- he was like a brother to me at first. He got a crush on me and kissed me, and so that was weird. He kept trying to ask me out until we were eleven and he kissed a guy on a dare. Now, he’s gay, so… Yeah.”

“Ah,” Ben says, relaxing the very moment I say the word ‘gay’. “And Poe?”

“Poe is the thirty year old neighbor all of my friends are crushing on.”

“And you?”

“Don’t crush on thirty year olds. Poe’s like the cool older cousin who gets you booze and lets you drink it at his place so he knows you’re not doing heroin or some shit.”

Ben smirks, then nods. “Okay. Kay?”

“Kay is my partner in crime,” I say. “She is wicked and weird and the least judgemental person in the world.”

“Rose?”

“Rose is… A sweetheart. My neighbor. She has delicate sensibilities, but she’s the mom friend- in that she is kind and smart and never wants us to Do A Bad but the minute someone threatens her friends she’s claws out, all bark and all bite. Which is funny because she’s four-foot-ten and doesn’t look like much.”

“You said the least about Kay,” Ben says. “But you talk to her most.”

“I don’t know what else to say about her. She’s absolutely insane and I love her for it. And she’s always encouraging me to be insane, too. She’s like a feral coyote we’ve adopted, and I’m the one she imprinted on.”

He snickers at that. “Okay. And which friend are you?”

“I don’t know,” I say.

“Try.”

I sigh and think. “The burnout who is usually the voice of reason. More tame than Kay’s craziness, less uptight than Rosie’s mama bear schtick, less hands-off, anything-goes than Poe’s stoner cousin vibes. Finn doesn’t usually have an opinion on our shenanigans unless it’s romance-related, in which case he is, time and time again, firmly disapproving.”

“Burnout voice of reason,” Ben repeats with a smirk. “Alright.”

“Tell me about Baz,” I say, looking over at him.

He quirks both brows. “She’s like a wild lynx people pretend to try to tame.”

“Okay. You dated her.”

Ben looks over at me, and from the gleam in his eyes, I know he knows I’m a little jealous. “She’s hot.”

“Mmm.”

“You’ve got nothing to worry about,” Ben says, reaching over to grip my knee. “I promise. I’m not a cheater.”

“You’ve been with her since she’s been with Tai,” I barely breathe.

He inhales sharply through his nose. He looks at the road again, and the gleam in his eyes is different in a way I can’t place. “Did she really tell you that?”

“No, of course not.”

He smirks. “But you’ve gathered.”

“It’s not difficult.”

“It really, really is.” But he sounds impressed.

“Does Tai know?”

“Know? No. He’s not an idiot.”

“He’s your best-”

“Enough,” Ben says. His voice is gentle but lethal, and it holds an air of finality.

“Tell me about Tai.”

“Tai is the good boy next door with a trust fund and a heart of gold,” he says, and his tone implies that it’s some tragic thing.

“What about the ginger? Hux?”

“He’s… Interesting. Ass-kisser. Pretentious. He’s smart, though, and he’s a good mix of kind and ruthless.”

“And you?”

He smirks. “Now, that would be tellin’, Ethan, and I don’t do spoilers,” he says- a reference to a video game. He does a good voice, too. I roll my eyes.

“Baz is your friend before she’s mine,” I say softly.

His brow furrows. “Mmm… Baz is my confidante before yours. But she’ll be your friend before mine, first. Take that as you will.”

I take his hand and twine our fingers together, and he smirks and holds tight.

“You’re very strange,” he says softly.

“Am I?”

“I was very sure to kick my new pet early on to make sure she knew what kind of owner I’d be,” he says. “And she’s slinking back up to me, anyway. Kicks be damned.”

I tense up, slighted, but not for the obvious reason. “Baz is the cat. I get to be something else.”

He laughs, looking over at me. “Strange, indeed.”

We make it to some fancy looking, brunchy cafe thing. I don’t know, man. Baz and Tai are sitting outside at a table for four, and Ben opens my door for me and walks me towards them.

Baz hugs me and kisses both of my cheeks, and I do the same, too. I know the gig by now. Tai hugs me and kisses one of my cheeks, and I do the same.

Two kisses for other girls, one kiss for guys. Ben gives a brief, impersonal hug to Tai, then hugs Baz the same way I hug Tai, and then we sit down.

I know the deal. Baz knows the deal. She orders and then I order the same thing. She gets a soy latte, so I get a soy latte. She gets eggs benedict, so I get eggs benedict. The fancy food these people ate are largely as unappetizing to me as it can be, but Baz often orders the least offensive things, so I follow her lead rather than guessing and getting something weird. Baz has taken to calling me her ‘mini-me’ and there are rumors going around that I want to be exactly like her so that Ben will like me. I feel like they should bother me more than they do; I feel like I should be more offended by the smug way she encourages them than I am.

Ben laces our fingers together on the table; Baz’s eye twitches and she laces her fingers with Tai, who looks surprised, then disregards it completely, just letting her do whatever.

I prefer alone time with Baz. I like her when we’re alone. With anyone else present, though, it feels like she’s in a competition I don’t care enough to participate in, and I think that bugs her more than it would if I won. She hasn’t said anything about it, though, so…

As we eat, I wonder what was so special about me that wasn’t special about Baz. Because I know Ben was the one to break up with Baz, and yet, here he was, talking about me never being able to leave him.

Ben’s hand releases mine to touch my thigh, and like a mirror, Baz discreetly guides Tai’s hand to her own thigh. Just to test it, I lean over and press a kiss into Ben’s lips; only two or three seconds later, Baz kisses Tai.

Weird. And he calls me strange.

I discreetly text him, monkey see, monkey do . He checks discreetly and smirks.

“Dirty talking under the table?” Baz asks.

“Something like that,” Ben says in a silky voice.

Baz does not like not being in on the joke. I gently tap her leg under the table the way she does to me- I’ll tell you later - but I’ll make something up. She relaxes considerably and smiles brightly.

Someone’s catching onto things, Ben texts.

I’m trying.

After a while, when brunch is over, we go shopping and it’s less of a date; Baz and I stay close together, giggling and trying things on, while Ben and Tai hang back, chatting together, offering input when we try things on.

Eventually, we part ways, and Ben and I get back into the Benz.

“Blow me,” he says as he drives.

I blink. “Right- right now?”

“Yes.”

I look at the floor in front of him, but his big leg is in the way. I know the windows are blacked out, but it’s stil-

“Now, Rey,” he teases gently.

I undo his belt and work him slowly, teasingly out of his pants, just like he likes. He’s only just started to harden when I have him out, and I stroke him softly, leaning to the side to spit.

“You have very nice hands,” Ben says. “But I don’t believe that’s what I asked for.”

“Baz said that when it’s not hard, I should-”

He doesn’t like that, apparently. “Are you blowing Baz, or me, Rey?”

“You,” I whisper, leaning forward. “I’m sorry, daddy.”

“That’s better,” he sighs as I take him into my mouth. His hand guides me down lower, and though he’s clearly the one in control of the amount of him I have in me, and the bobbing, he lets me do the sucking and licking without much disturbance. “Hands on my balls, sweetheart. There you go.”

He goes faster and faster and I know it. I whimper and struggle to look up at him without ruining the blowjob. He snickers; this is all a game.

“You want me to slow down?” he asks, deeply amused. I whimper and nod, slinking down deeper on my own. “Aw, poor baby doesn’t want to get caught with daddy’s cock in her mouth? Are you ashamed of me, Rey?”

I shake my head.

“No? Hmm… Are you… Shy, then?”

I nod.

“Mmm. Such a good girl. You keep that cock all the way in your mouth, and I’ll slow down. How’s that?”

I nod. After a few seconds, he slows down. I suckle and lick, and he moves his hand to the wheel. I’m weeping from the strain of keeping him fully embedded in my throat, and my head already feels light from scarcely being able to breathe.

But I keep him in my throat until he pulls to a stop. He grabs my hair and fucks up into my throat; I chortle and choke but force my muscles to keep up and remain still.

“Such a good fucking girl,” he snarls. “Such a sweetheart. Fucking take it, Rey. Fuck.”

When he’s done, he pulls out and comes on my face- a first. I gasp and keep my mouth open, tongue out.

“Fucking- that’s it, baby. You’re a natural. Sit up.”

I pull back and collapse into my seat, body aching from the strain of staying just right.

He opens the glove compartment and hands me a moist towelette. “Clean up, baby. You’re meeting my mother.”

I straighten at once, gawking at him, and he smirks. I pull down the visor and quickly clean up, careful not to ruin my makeup but going as quickly as I could.

Someone was quickly approaching.

“You’re evil,” I hiss.

“Am I? Evil? That’s a bit harsh. You know, I was planning on making you come for me, but if you’re going to act like that-”

“We don’t have time for me to come!”

He smirks at me, deeply amused. “You’re staying for dinner, so… Yeah, we do.”

I huff. “Tell me nothing…” I grumble, and he laughs at me.

He pops the visor up. “Beautiful as ever, pet. Careful not to breathe too close to anyone’s face, I’m sure they all know what come smells like.”

I flush and pout at him, and he smirks, tapping my nose.

“Pretty pout, but you need your big girl face to meet your new mommy.”

“You think you’re funny,” I grumble as he gets out.

“Sometimes,” he says as soon as he opens my door. He helps me out, holding my hand. “The story is that we’ve known each other since Dad and Qira got together.”

“Ten months ago?”

“Yes. We were flirting over text and we’d met in person several times- to the zoo with our parents, a few small get-togethers, a couple dates. We made it official the first night I came to Dad’s.”

“Got it.”

“Since Dad went and lied, saying I knew about the affair the whole time,” Ben adds in a cold voice.

“Oh- I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. Did you know?”

“Not that he was married. I knew he had a son named Ben. I, ah… Don’t pry. Didn’t- didn’t even consider…”

“Mmm,” Ben says. “Stick with that, then. And you were very upset with me when you found out.”

“Why don’t you tell your mother Han lied?”

His eyes gleamed. “Several reasons. We can talk later.”

Everything’s an opportunity, eh, baby?

“Master Ben!” A man calls- a blond man with a handlebar moustache and a fancy pompadour hairdo, streaked with white.

“Threepio,” Ben says, and I blink. “This is my girlfriend, Rey. Rey, this is our butler, Threepio.”

Leia’s house is a giant mansion, something resembling a castle. Threepio bows at me. “Miss Rey! What pleasure it is to meet you, madam.”

“Just… Rey is fine,” I breathe. “A pleasure to meet you, too.”

Ben smirks. “She’s not fond of the formalities, Threep.”

Threepio extends a hand and I shake it.

“He used to be my governor,” he says, as if I should know what that means.

“Lovely,” I say, because Qira says it and it sounds appropriate.

The three of us walk inside, and Threepio takes our coats. “Artoo is the chauffeur. I’m fond of him, too. You’ll meet him sometime.”

“Okay,” I say. “What’s a governor?”

“A male governess.”

“Okay. What’s a governess?”

He smirks. “A live-in nanny.”

“Ah.”

“ ‘Lovely’ ,” he teases softly, and I shove him playfully. He laughs.

The last few moments are caught by who I can only assume is Leia, sitting in what might be some sort of parlour, lounging in an armchair. Her eyes gleam as she takes it in, smiling, and she sips her glass. Three men are also inside.

“Mother,” Ben says. “This is my girlfriend, Rey Niima. Rey, this is my mother, Leia Organa-Naberrie. This is my uncle, Luke Skywalker, and my godfather, Landonis Calrissian- call him ‘Uncle Lando’. This is Chewie.”

“Hello,” I say, mind lingering on the strange name of the strange final man. “A pleasure to meet all of you.”

Lando’s on his feet in a moment, his handsome face smiling, arms reaching out as he takes my hands, studying me. “Look at you,” he says. “Beautiful young thing.”

“She’s too young for you, Lando,” Leia says, amused.

“She’s spoken for, anyway,” Ben says coolly, but his eyes are playful.

“Unfortunately, that did get in my way last time, too,” Lando says. “Can I hug you, sweetie?”

I flush and smile. “Of course.”

Lando hugs me, one hand on my hip. “Ben’s got his daddy’s taste- let’s hope he’s got better etiquette.”

I clear my throat and pull back. “For his own sake, I hope so.”

Leia laughs at that, looking at the floor.

“Rey didn’t know,” Ben says. “She nearly said ‘no’ when I asked her out, mad at me for not saying.”

I pursed my lips. “I knew something was up, just didn’t think it was my place to pry. I didn’t-... I didn’t think that, though. Or I might have.”

Leia gives me kind eyes. “It’s alright, dear,” she barely breathes, and I offer as kind a smile as I can. “May I hug you, as well?”

I smile brighter. “Of course, ma’am.”

She smiles, too, getting up. “Please, dear. Call me Leia.”

“Thank you, Leia.”

I hug her and I lean into the touch. She’s warm and matronly, and her touch seems to pull me in for a longer hug than most. I pull back and look at her sheepishly, taking in her face, and she lights up again, still with that motherly verve.

“You are stunning,” I breathe.

She gives a gentle laugh, looking at once taken off guard and flattered. “Why, thank you, darling. You are quite the looker, too.”

Ben takes my hand and guides me onto the loveseat with him, and I relax, curling up next to him but not, like… Cuddling him, or anything. He seems pleased with that.

“Are Nona and Pops coming over?” Ben asks.

“Of course,” Leia says.

“Good, good. Anyone else?”

“Amilyn and her godson, but I had former plans with them.”

Ben nods, smirking, looking over at me. “That’s alright.”

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

Ben grins, eyes falling. “You know her godson.”

“Do I?”

“I believe.”

I look at him, confused, but he seems content to leave me in the dark.

“His name is-”

“Rey’s so fond of surprises,” Ben interrupts his mother.

“I very much am not.”

“Well, we’re working on that. We’ve just gotten you appropriate manners. Give it time.”

I pout; he smirks.

“He’s too much like his grandfather,” Luke grumbles.

“No such thing,” Lando says with a toast. “Here’s to hoping he’s exactly like his grandfather.”

“Now, don’t go saying that ,” Leia laughs out.

We chat for a while, until Threepio leads two people inside-

“Poe?” I sit up.

He grins, then laughs. “Holy shit! Small fry!”

I’m on my feet in a moment, hugging him before I can think better of it. “Language!”

“Suck my-”

“I’ll sic my boyfriend on you.”

I pull back to look up at him and he winks. Poe introduces me to Amilyn, and then I sit down with Ben again, curling more soundly into him.

After more chatting, wherein I gather that Poe absolutely knew who Ben was, and that Han was cheating on Leia, the whole time.

Asshole.

Not long after, the final two guests pull up. Ben stands me up. “You’ll kiss each of Nona’s cheeks,” he says. “Just like Baz. You’ll greet Pops just like Tai. You’ll call Nona just that- Nona- and you’ll call Pops ‘Ani’.”

“Okay,” I say.

“And you’ll tell them you’ve heard so much about them.”

“Has she not?” Leia asks.

“I’ve heard some,” I say. “Just the other day, Ben made me her spaghetti recipe. It was divine.”

Threepio leads in Ben’s grandparents, and Ben urges me forward first. I greet Nona as he greets Ani;

“Hello, you,” says Nona, a jaw-dropping woman with soft, steady hands.

“Hello, Nona,” I say, hugging her, kissing her cheeks. “I’ve heard so much about you! Both of you! What an honor to finally meet you.”

Ani is also devastatingly handsome, and he eyes me playfully. “I’m glad to see food taste runs in the family- well. At least for the men.”

I laugh softly, hugging him, kissing just one of his cheeks. “Thank you, Ani.”

After Nona and Ani are settled, Ben and I sit once more. He pulls me closer, and I am cuddled into him.

More chatting until it’s time for dinner- a three coarse ordeal in a beyond-fancy dining room. “So,” Nona asks. “When did you two meet?”

Ben and I look at each other. “November, was it?” I ask.

He smiles. “Yes. Just before Thanksgiving.”

“How long have you two been together?”

Ben clears his throat. “That is… Debatable,” he says.

“He only just asked to make it official when he came to stay with his father, two weeks ago.” I say, playing the part of girl-who-was-waiting-in-limbo-for-too-long as well as I’m able.

Ben looks convincably guilty, smiling through it. “With the… Situation, we agreed we had to be sure it would last before making it official.”

“Situation?” Chewie scoffs. “You mean, being adopted siblings?”

Ben clears his throat. “I’m very adament about Han not adopting her. Qira can, but… Well. I’d like to marry this girl. I’d rather she not be my adopted sister.”

I clear my throat and look down, slightly flushed.

“Thinking about marriage already?” Luke asks.

“I’ve had nearly a year to,” Ben says. “And I’ve always been rather decisive, haven’t I?”

“I’ll give you that,” Luke mutters.

“I knew the moment I laid eyes on Padme,” Ani says, looking fondly over at Nona, who returns the smile with amusement.

“Ah, yes. As a nine year old boy.”

“I did,” he says softly. “And now, I’m ninety, and I would not change a thing.”

Nona touches his arm. “Well. Aren’t you laying on the charm, Ani?”

“Always,” he says. “I hope.”

“Do you want to marry him, Rey?” Luke speaks up.

I flush, pulling back just a little, but I hold his gaze. “Very much so, yes,” I say softly.

“I plan on proposing on… A relatively nearby occasion,” Ben says matter-of-factly, and I bite my lip. “I’d rather not let on which one, though.”

He’s going to propose to me. Soon-ish.

Oh, my God.

“You know,” Poe pipes up. “Rey hasn’t mentioned you at all.”

“Not to you, old man,” I say softly, sweetly. “Save for, of course, the pictures I sent of us. That you saw and responded to.”

His eyes turn towards mine, and he looks half apprehensive, half amused. “Not to Finn, either.”

“No, not to beyond overprotective Finn, either. Delicate situation.”

Poe purses his lips, nodding slowly. “To Kay and Rose?”

“To Kay.”

“But not Rose?”

“Not until recently.”

“Okay.”

Ben grips my hand so I stop, and I squeeze softly; he squeezes back in reassurance.

“How old is she?” Nona asks.

“Twenty-seven,” Ben says, and she gives him a you’re so very funny- now tell me look. “She’ll be sixteen before I propose, Nona. Thank you for making me admit that.”

“And you’ve talked about the future, I trust?” Ani confirms.

“Of course,” Ben says, and then goes over The Plan with them.

“And you treat her like a gentleman?” Nona asks.

Ben smirks. “Usually,” he says in a low voice.

Nona tuts, then scoffs. Leia gives a tired look. Lando and Chewie joke under their breaths. Luke is staunchly disapproving. Ani looks amused; Amilyn looks bemused.

“Forgive me,” Poe says, shifting. “Rey Niima had not so much as been kissed before she met you, Ben Solo.”

“I’m fully aware, Poe,” he says.

“And you’re proposing to and making suggestive jokes about her, two weeks after you get together.”

“Our first kiss was Christmas Day last year,” Ben says. I quickly squeeze.

“Christmas Day?” Poe asks, honing in.

“Or Eve. Somewhere late, in that general vicinity,” Ben says. “But Christmas Day sounds so much better. We had gone for a walk, and we stopped under the mistletoe.”

After a few more made up stories that had Poe left without rebuttal, the conversation moves on. We eat the appetizers, then the entree, then desert.

We settle back in the parlour and the adults get drinks from Threepio-

“An Old Fashioned for me and a St. Germain for Rey, please,” Ben says, the last to speak.

None of the adults bat an eye, save for Poe, who frowns. “Rey is not allowed to drink.”

Ben laughs softly. “Is that so? I seem to be entirely aware that you give her and her other underage friends alcohol at least once a month.”

Poe stiffens and shoots me a look.

“What? He’s going to be my fiance soon. Was I supposed to lie to him?”

“It’s a sworn secret,” Poe says. “Confidential. I only do it so that you don’t go out and get shitfaced somewhere dangerous, where someone can slip something into your-”

“I doubt Threepio’s going to slip anything into my drink,” I say softly. “And how, exactly, would it look if I had a small get-together every month- drinking in the house of a man twice my age with other teenagers- and then lied to him about it? He’d think you were the dangerous one.”

Poe sighs, and Threepio hands me and Ben our drinks.

“Thank you, Threepio,” I say.

“But, of course, Miss Rey!”

“Please- just Rey.”

“Good luck with that,” Luke mutters.

I sip my St. Germain and I find that I like it quite a bit.

“Anyway,” Ben says sometime later. “I would not usually announce things so soon, but I think Rey’s still fighting insecurities and fears that I’m not serious. So, I thought I’d get everyone together and tell all of my favorite people right in front of her. So that she knows this is serious, I’m serious, we’re serious…”

I flush. “You make me sound so-”

“Shh,” he breathes, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze. “We’re young. I understand.”

“When do you think you’ll have the wedding, squirt?” Ani asks.

“With any luck, late June.”

“When she’s sixteen? And you’re eighteen?” Luke asks.

Ben meets his eyes, and he’s got that businessman look again, but it’s darker, colder. “Yes. Right after Qira finishes the adoption process.”

“You have no need to go so fast,” Luke says- then, he gets a look. “Unless she’s pregnant.”

“Of course she isn’t pregnant,” Ben says. “We’re going fast because we want to.”

“Because all fifteen year olds are so good at making lifelong decisions,” Poe says.

“Poe?” I look at him, and he looks at me. Then, he sighs.

“Look, Rey. I know you’ve got a better head on you than most. I just… I’m worried about you, kid.”

“You know Ben, too, right?”

“Yeah. He’s like a brother to me. I-”

“Let’s say this is temporary, then,” I say. Ben tenses. “Let’s say he leaves me in five years. I’ve got a kid and one on the way, and Ben wants out. You think he’d screw me over?”

“No-” Poe says immediately, vehemently.

“Then it’s not a mistake.”

Poe meets my eyes. “Is that really how you see it?”

“Yes.”

“It’s not temporary,” Ben says, and I turn to look at him, meet his eyes. We keep our gazes locked for a long moment.

“I know, Ben. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” But it’s not true, as good a show as he puts on. And it stings something in my chest.

He leans forward to kiss me gently, then reclines into the loveseat.

“Ah,” Ani says. “To be young, dumb, and in love again.”

“Two outta three ain’t bad, Dad,” Leia breathes, and laughter follows.

More chatting until it’s dark out and my phone rings; Ben walks me outside so I can answer it.

“Hello?”

“Brunch is running late,” Han grumbles.

I glare at Ben. “Sorry- I thought he’d have told you. He took me to eat dinner with his family.”

Ben grins and Han lets out a noise and I realize what I’ve done.

“Other… Family,” I say, but to keep Ben happy, I force an empty, impassive tone.

“It’s late. Your mother wants you home.”

“Mmm. Is it?”

Ben is still grinning.

“Come home.”

I tilt my head to the side, egged on by Ben. “Sometime, surely. I mean, I left my phone charger there.”

I can hear his teeth grinding into one another. “Get home or you’re grounded.”

“Sorry. Daddy’s keeping me-”

“Stop fucking calling him that!” he screams, and I jump-

Ben grabs the phone, stalks away. “She calls me whatever the fuck she wants,” he snarls. After more arguing, Ben hangs up and turns off my phone. He comes back, fully composed, but he has a wild gleam in his eyes. “You are- perfect, Rey Niima.”

I curl into him. “I love you,” I say, as if I like to wound myself with him lying to me.

“I know,” he breathes instead, his voice soft and kind, and he hugs me back. He presses a kiss into the top of my head. “I’ve decided you’ll be my little puppy dog. So eager to please, and playful, but so loyal and obedient.”

“Keep your voice down,” I giggle out.

“Or what? You’ll-”

But the door opens and people begin to leave. We stay outside and say goodbyes as everyone leaves, then head inside to spend a few more moments with Leia.

“So,” Leia says as Threepio hands us new glasses. “How much of that was true , Ben?”

Ben smiles. “A fair bit of it,” he says, sipping his Old Fashioned.

“Is she pregnant, Ben?”

Ben looks at his mother, then over at me. “No. Not yet.”

Leia looks over at me, eyes growing a little… Sad. “And you?”

“Me?”

“Are you satisfied with whatever he has planned?”

There is a very large part of me that wants to tell her that I have not the faintest clue what he has planned, but even more of me still is far too terrified to find out the consequences for that. “I love him. Yes.”

Her eyes soften, and she looked at her son, forlorn. “Is she telling the truth? She’s in love with you?”

Ben smiles, leaning over the arm of the chair. “That, or she’s the best actress I’ve ever met. Which would be saying quite a bit.”

Leia looks down, then shakes her head slowly. “Do you love her?”

“Not yet. I’m quite fond of her.”

“Ben… Please. Let the poor girl live -”

“She will,” Ben says, rolling his eyes. “She’ll go to the Ivy League of her choice and we’ll start a company together.”

“You meant that?”

“She’s a smart girl. I’ve been keeping my eye on her.”

Leia looks at me anew, as if it’s some great honor for my boyfriend to start a company with me. Although, to be honest, if there was any kind of guy to tell his girlfriend she didn’t make the cut, it would be whatever kind of guy Ben is.

“Alright. Your trust fund is available, as you know, on your twenty-first birthday… Or your wedding day. Whatever comes first.”

Things make a bit more sense now. Ben smirks. “I’m fully aware.”

“Get Rey home. It’s late, and she’s had two drinks now.”

Ben pushes to his feet. “Yes, ma’am.”

“It was nice meeting you, Leia,” I say softly as Ben helps us both to our feet with a hand.

“Likewise, dear. Come here.” We hug again, and this time, she holds me for quite a while. “I’ll have Ben give me your number when he gets back. I’m always just a call away.”

“Thank you, Leia.”

“Of course. Evidently, you’re family now.”

It’s a strange sentiment, but I just embrace her more fully. “That’s a first.”

Leia kisses my cheek goodbye, but gives no offer for me to do the same. Ben hugs his mother, then walks me to a new car-

“I’ve been drinking, obviously,” he says. “So, Artoo will drive us.”

“Alright.”

I meet Artoo, a chubby, short man with a much less silly version of a handlebar moustache and pure white hair. “Where to?”

“Han’s.”

“Got it.”

Ben closes the screen between the front and the cabin, then settles back with me. “Tapes in your room. You’ll watch two a day. Since you want to watch me .”

“Huh?”

His eyes gleam. “You’ll see. And remember- you call and ask before you touch yourself. You beg before you come. Am I understood?”

“Yes, daddy,” I breathe, flushing, hoping Artoo can’t hear us.

He kisses my cheek as we park outside of the front door, long after the elevator. “I’ll see you tomorrow when I pick you up.”

“Sleep well, Ben. I love you,” I say, and I kiss his lips.

He strokes my hair back. “Dream of me.”

When I get inside, Han is waiting just across the door, arms crossed. I toss my coat on the table and run my hands through my hair. “Hi, Han.”

“Hi.”

“Chewie and Lando say hi, too.”

Han’s jaw clenches and he nods. “And what was the occasion?”

“Ben was announcing that he’s going to propose to me sometime this year.”

Han looked like I’d told him we were running off to Never Never Land together. “Are you kidding me?”

“No. Nona and Ani were there, too. Ben told me to say that neither of them said hi. I told him that might sound rude.”

Han pushes his hair back. “This is fucking ridiculous-”

“Oh, and Ben also says to say ‘go fuck yourself’, and admittedly, I’m more anxious to learn how pissed he’d be if I didn’t than how pissed you’ll be if I do.”

“You’re grounded,” Han snaps. I make my way towards my bed, but between the booze and my boyfriend, I feel weirdly powerful.

“Good luck with that.”

“I mean it,” Han says, following. “Give me your phone.”

“No.”

“I paid for it.”

“Okay?”

“Give it to me!” Han roars, grabbing my arm-

I shove him back. “Don’t fucking touch me,” I hiss. “Next time, I’ll break your fucking hand.”

“Rachel Anne-” Qira calls, approaching.

“Suck my dick.”

Qira gasps and stops dead. I stomp into my room and lock the door, then barricade it for good measure.

And then I sag onto the bathroom floor and call Ben.

“That was fast,” he says. “I’m not even home yet.”

“Han thinks I’m grounded.”

Ben laughs. “I do hope you told him otherwise.”

“I said ‘good luck with that’. He tried to take my phone and I didn’t let me. He grabbed me and I shoved him and I told him I’d break his hand if he touched me again.”

“Good girl,” Ben says, and I can hear his smile.

We’re silent for a moment. “I miss you,” I say.

He hums softly. “I miss you, too. I’d much rather be watching you drift off with your medicine right now. Oh- by the way. I’ll be taking a different car to school when I’m at my mother’s. One with a backseat, for… Convenience’s sake. Since we’re missing out on our playtime.”

I hug myself as someone tries to get inside. “So, I suppose you’ll be fairly early?”

He chuckles. “Usually. I’ll text you when I leave, pet.”

“That sounds good. They’re trying to get into my room.”

He laughs softly. “They’ll stop soon. It’s a school night.”

“Can you get me a new phone, please? Just in case they manage to take this one?”

“Yes, love. We’ll stop and grab one after homework.”

“Thank you, daddy.”

“Go to bed, princess. Dream of me.”

“Only if you dream of me.”

He laughs softly. “If I’m so lucky.”

Chapter Text

Sunday night and Monday morning are largely uneventful. I pack up all of my things to move into Ben’s room, though, and slip it all into his room. I tuck the tapes away for later and make my way out to the dining room to brave breakfast-

It’s just me and Qira. Qira looks up, heavily medicated, and gives a tired smile.

“Hello, dear. Goodmorning.”

“Morning, Mom,” I say.

She looks so pleasantly surprised. “How did you sleep?”

“Well, thank you. And yourself?”

Qira smiles, eyes closing. She’s high as fuck . Her head tilts back. “Oh, lovely, dear.”

“I was wondering,” I say, laying on the suck up as much as I can. I don’t do suck up well, but Qira’s mind is all but gone, so I suppose it’ll do. “If maybe only you could adopt me? Ben’s already announced to his grandparents…” And I gush, playing my act well. Qira listens as well as she’s able, smiling and nodding along.

“That’s alright, dear,” Qira hums. “I was considering that, regardless. We wouldn’t have to wait for the divorce to finalize, or for the wedding to be planned, that way.”

I smile brightly. “Thank you so much, Mama.”

Qira offers a blissful smile. “I love you, Rey.”

“I love you, too!”

With how happy she looks, I feel guilty for doing this, but I hold true. When Ben is coming up the elevator, ready to pick me up, I hug her and kiss her cheek and then depart.

Ben’s car is now a Bentley Bentayga V8, a deep and angry red. When I open the passenger side door, Ben is rubbing a forefinger and thumb into his eyes.

“Are you alright?” I ask as I climb in.

“Yes,” he grumbles, sounding tired, grouchy. “No coffee. Very little sleep.”

“I’m sorry.”

He leans over and we kiss for a few moments. “No time to play this morning. We’re getting caffiene, or I will murder every person in First Order today.”

I try not to look disappointed; he doesn’t look at me, just gets us onto the car elevator and then onto the road. We stop for coffee and he chugs five cups of it.

I shift and wiggle in my seat. “You know,” I breathe. “If we get some to go, I can use my mouth-”

He meets my eyes, a kind rejection in his eyes. He winks, gripping my thigh. “I appreciate the offer, my sweet little Rey.”

I stifle the sting in my chest as best as I’m able. Ben relaxes, sighing, inhaling the fresh, cool air.

“Do you usually have issues sleeping?” I ask softly.

“Yes.”

He hadn’t been like this since I met him. I don’t really understand. “I’m sorry.”

“Mm,” he says.

When we get back into Ben’s Bentley Bentayga- benbenben- he turns the music on and takes the long way to school, all windows rolled down, and he leans out towards his window as much as he can while still driving. When we park, Baz and Tai are making out on the hood of his Porsche. I move into Ben’s lap, but just curl into him, and he holds me sweetly.

Baz and Tai wander over before we pull away.

“You look like shit, Benji,” Baz says.

Benji. I feel an envious, murderous rage.

“I feel like shit,” Ben says.

We get out, eventually, and Baz guides Ben to walk a few feet ahead of us and I cannot suppress the offended scowl fast enough. Tai notices, giving me a small, apologetic smile.

Baz laughs eventually, putting a hand on Ben’s elbow, and something in me-

Snaps.

I veer away from the group and scurry away. “Rey?” I hear Tai call.

I lock myself in one of the women’s bathrooms- one of the ones without stalls, just one giant powder room- and sag onto the immaculate, freshly cleaned floor.

And I realize that I feel like shit, too. I can’t even bring myself to unpack it, but Baz giggling and touching my boyfriend who doesn’t want me to blow him certainly did not help.

Someone knocks. I ignore them. Someone else knocks, and I ignore them, too. My phone rings and I start to cry, and I don’t know why-

A sigh on the other side of the door, followed by vague, barely-detectable whispers. “Rey?” It’s Ben’s voice, right on the other side of the door.

But I can’t speak. If I try, animalistic sobs will follow. The call goes to voicemail and then they call again. I check; it’s Ben. I answer and hear my own crying in person, and from his phone inches away from my head, just on the other side of the door. The whispering gets louder and Ben hangs up immediately.

“Let me in, Rey. Please.”

Fingers push under the gap in the door, and with his giant fucking sausage fingers, that can’t have been easy. I put my fingers on top of his and we sit there while I struggle to Get A Grip. When I unlock the door, the fingers pull away; Ben slips inside and closes the door behind him, locking it again. He sinks onto the ground next to me and tugs me into his lap again, holding me tightly while I cry silently into his shoulder for absolutely no reason at all.

He’s on his phone for a few minutes, the screen vaguely reflected in his beautiful, murky eyes. After a while, he speaks. “We’re off school for the day,” he says softly.

“Mmm.”

Ben sits me on the counter and gently, silently coaxes me into Something Resembling Okay. Then, he guides me outside; it’s apparent class has already started. We go back to the BenBenBen and he drives me to his mother’s house, and holds my hand, and we sit there in total silence. He leads me to his bedroom.

It’s got the same old-fashioned, Victorian vibes as the rest of the house. Dark and luxurious and rich. He sets me down on the bed and pulls off my loafers and kicks off his own. He turns the lights off and we curl up under the covers.

“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” he breathes finally.

“Dunno,” I whisper.

“You don’t know?”

“Baz’s flirting-not-flirting display didn’t help,” I admit softly. “But I wasn’t doing great before.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know.”

“Is it because we didn’t play?”

I flush, curl into him. “That didn’t help,” I say. “Not that I’m, like, blaming you-”

“I know that, sweetheart.”

I press a kiss into his shoulder. “I don’t think that’s why , though. I was off all morning.” I shift.

“Talk to me, Rey,” Ben asks softly.

“I-... Might be starting my- period? Sorry if that’s gross.”

He exhales a sort-of laugh. “No, it isn’t.”

“It’s, like, early, though. Which is annoying.”

“How early?”

“I was still on my period when we met. It’s, like, two weeks early, if it is that.”

“What makes you think it’s that?”

“I’m spotting, cramping. My back and hips and belly are fucking killing me. I’m warm and tired and my head aches and everything smells so much and…” As I talk, focus on myself, I notice more than I had this morning. “There’s a weird taste in my mouth and I’d kill for some of that tiramisu. And my tits hurt.”

He kisses my forehead and runs his hands through my hair. “I’m sorry, Rey,” he says softly, genuinely. “I should have been paying better attention to you this morning.”

“No, it’s alright,” I argue softly. “You barely slept and you’ve got your own-”

“You’re mine,” he says. “I ought to take care of what’s mine. How can I make it up to you?”

I curl more fully into him. “This is good,” I say softly. “And some tiramisu.”

He smiles, taking out his phone. “Threepio will have the rest of it up in no time. Eat the whole fucking thing, I don’t care.”

“I might just do that,” I grumble.

Shit was good.

Threepio comes up with the tiramisu and two tall vanilla milkshakes and gets medicine from the en suite. After we’re all set up, we spend the morning devouring the food and demolishing our shakes and keeping as much of our bodies touching as we can. Around lunch, he has Threepio send up a heating pad and puts it on my stomach- so that’s a thing I’m going to be doing for every fucking period- and gives me a generous massage. It takes some convincing but once he’s done, I make him let me give him one, too.

Then, we curl up and watch movies until I fall asleep. He doesn’t wake me up until dinnertime, and we go and eat with Leia, and I get sick right after. Ben calls Amilyn- she’s a doctor, apparently- and then he takes me to her office. I have a mild fever but despite all the tests, I’m not sick. I’m not pregnant and I am ovulating.

“My best guess,” Amilyn says. “Is that a fertilized egg is being implanted into the uteran lining. Try some morning-after pill, but it’s likely too late for that. If the pregnancy takes, I’m one call away for whatever you decide to do.”

I just stare at her, blinking. I know what those words mean, but my brain refuses them. He takes the morning-after pill she hands him and drives me to his mother’s house, calling Qira to let her know I’m ill and I’ll be staying home from school with him for a few days.

When Ben tucks the box with the bill into his medicine cabinet as I lay in the bath, I blink. “Don’t I have to take that?”

“If it’s already being implanted, it’s a waste of a pill,” Ben says. “Amilyn’s a call away.”

“Ben…”

“I’ve got this. I’ve got you. Don’t worry about a thing, ever.”

He steps out of the bathroom, so I clean myself quickly and get out-

But I don’t drain the tub, lest he hear it.

“Yeah. Expedite it. Good- thank you, Qira. It means a lot to me. I should get back to her. Of course. I’ll see you on Sunday. I doubt it. Alright- goodnight.”

After a few more moments, his phone rings. He answers it.

I can tell he leans against the door and I’m so grateful I left the jets on; he’ll think nothing of it. I can barely hear him or the phone through the damn door and I’m pressed against it.

“Hi, Baz,” he barely breathes.

I almost- almost - lose my goddamn mind and open the door and punch him as hard as I can.

“Hi, Benji,” Baz coos. “How is my bestie?”

Fucking lying, evil, stupid fucking cunt.

“Rey’s alright,” he says. “In pain. Amilyn thinks she’s getting pregnant.”

Baz sighs. “Already?”

“Yes.”

“This is why we never worked out, Benji. Because you’re-”

“I would not advise finishing that sentence,” he says, his voice… Cold. “Besides. Rey is perfect. I’m glad we didn’t work out.”

It’s a trick. He knows I’m listening.

That doesn’t make any sense.

Baz sighs, but I can tell it’s more annoyed, more slighted. “Rey is wonderful,” Baz says, annoyed. “But we- we’re the same, you and I. It should be me and you, and Tai and Rey.”

“I’d take one moment with Rey over anything with you,” Ben says.

“Good for you,” Baz hisses. “I’m so fucking happy for you!”

“Careful, Bazine,” Ben says in a low voice that I almost miss. “If you keep making my sweetheart cry, I’ll have to find her a new friend to play with. Tai’s just as on-the-fence about your relationship as you are. I’d watch myself if I were you.”

“Ben,” Baz says, clearly wounded. “I-”

“I’m getting back to Rey now,” Ben says coldly. “Goodnight, Baz. Give Tai a call. I’m sure he misses you- or not. Either way…”

I scurry back to the tub and turn off the jets, draining it. I’ve just gotten my hair wrapped up into a towel when Ben comes in.

“I was planning on joining you,” Ben says.

“I didn’t know,” I say. “I’m sorry- it was hurting my back.”

He nods, then pulls me into a kiss. “Go on and lie down, then,” he says. “With your heating pad. I had Threepio bring up snacks and such. I’ll take a shower and join you in a bit.”

I kiss him more. “I love you,” I breathe. What are you doing to me, Ben?

He couldn’t want me to get pregnant. Does he want me to have an abortion, or something? Why? Just- testing to make sure I’m Servicably Fertile? Does he want a kid already? Why??

“I know,” he says, cupping my face, voice and eyes full of fondness. “Go get comfortable for me, Rey. I’ll be out in about ten, fifteen minutes.”

I lay out and eat So Much Chocolate- the fancy dark chocolate that I could never get enough of, with truffles in the center- and stare up at the ceiling, a heating pad on my stomach and a weighted blanket on top of me.

Baz calls me five minutes later, and I answer it-

She’s crying. “Baz?” I ask, sitting up.

“He left me,” she snarls. “And it’s your fucking fault, Rey Niima!”

“What?” I say. “What happened?”

“Tai left me!” she roars.

“I- I’m so sorry,” I say. “I’m sure it’ll be o-”

“Ben’s getting you pregnant so you can’t fucking leave him,” Baz spits, and I gawk. “And you’re letting him! Not even asking questions! ‘Cause you’re a fucking imbecile!”

My heart is pounding. “Back to Tai, Baz,” I say, but I can hear the panicked shock in my voice. Baz gives a desolate, mirthless laugh.

“Ben was supposed to be mine,” she whines. “But, no. I didn’t want to get knocked up at sixteen, so he dumped me and left me to be sloppy seconds for his friend. Because I was a good person to have on his side and not fucking good enough to change a single fucking thing about his shitty fucking plans for. And Tai’s sick of me, so now, I’m going to be out of it for good! So fuck you all!”

“Baz,” I breathe. “I don’t know what this goddamn plan is, but you’re out for fucking sure if Ben finds out you told me all of this behind his back. Just- calm down. Don’t burn a bridge because it needs repairs. Take the night, forget you called me, and we can regroup in person soon. Girl’s night.”

I can hear Baz’s emotional confusion despite her near silence. “Why the fuck would you do that?”

“I don’t know. I thought we were friends,” I say. “Because I’m a fucking imbecile, I guess.”

Baz whines, then makes another noise. “No. You’re-... I’m just-... There’s a lot right now. You’re not… I’m sorry. I’m sorry, okay?”

“Okay,” I say softly. Because I am indeed a fucking imbecile.

“I’m gonna go,” she whimpers.

“Goodnight, Baz.”

“... Night, Rey.”

I hang up. A few minutes later, Ben comes out.

“On the phone?”

“Baz called.”

Ben looks over, intrigued. “Is that so?”

“C’mere,” I beckon, and he comes over and lays beside me. We curl into one another and he kisses my forehead.

“Talk to me, Rey…”

“You’re not allowed to be mad at Baz.”

He laughs a rich laugh. “Is that so? I’m not allowed?”

“You know what I mean, Ben. We both know by now that I couldn’t stop you from doing a damned thing, nor could I bring myself to try.”

He snickers. “What did naughty little Bazine tell my sweetheart to make her see that?”

“A bit,” I say. “But I’d already gathered that bit. Not that her news wasn’t new.”

Ben’s eyes gleam. “You’re so strong with other people, Rey. And you melt so completely for me already.”

I stare at his throat as desolation washes over me. “If I was so strong, I wouldn’t be planning to beg for Baz’s forgiveness.”

“What did she do, Rey? I would not advise making me ask again.”

So I tell him, all of it.

He listens intently, smirking, deeply amused. “Alright- one moment.”

He pulls out his phone. “Do not, under any circumstances, get back together with Baz.”

“Ben-” I breathe, heart pounding.

“On account of what she just said to my girlfriend. Details later. I have to be with Rey right now… Good. I’m sorry for that. Oh, and Tai- is your mother still single? Just wondering. I’ll see you later. Bye.”

Ben kisses my temple as he hangs up, then calls someone else-

“Bazzie,” he greets with a sadistic edge to his voice. “Of course she did. She belongs to me, and she knows it. Don’t worry- she’s so fond of you. ‘Prepared to beg’ for you, apparently. So, if you want any part of the plan, I suggest staying in my baby’s good graces. If she so readily forgives you for daring to call her an imbecile, I’m sure even you won’t struggle with that. However… Insult her again, and you’ll have so much more to worry about than losing your place in the plan. Am I very clearly understood, Bazzie? … Good. Have a wonderful night’s rest.”

Ben hangs up.

“What plan?” I ask softly.

“Hush, pet. Just take the hand that’s dealt your way. You’re so very good at playing.”

I curl into him, then close my eyes.

“So. You’re going to get pregnant as soon as possible- whether this one sticks or not. How does that sound, sweetheart?”

It sounds too fucking fast. “If it pleases you.”

Sweet, tender kisses. “Such a good girl for me.”

I’m too tired for any of this shit. Luckily, he seems more than content to go to bed with me. “Did you give me my medicine?”

“No. I’ll have to look into pregnancy-safe sedatives, but I’m not entirely sure you’ll get your medicine for quite a while.”

My mind processes nearly none of any of this. “I love you,” I breathe.

“I love you, too, Rey.” This time- and maybe it’s just me being an imbecile… This time, I believe it.

I think that might be worse, given the circumstances.

Chapter Text

Ben drops me off at school in the morning and Baz is right there waiting, in a hot pink Ferrarri, arms crossed. Ben mutters something about heading off to find Tai, so I walk over and link my arm with Baz, just like she does to me when I’m overwhelmed.

“You’re not an imbecile,” she breathes softly, and the look of guilt flooding her beautiful face is enough to send painful pangs through my chest.

“It’s alright, Baz,” I say softly. “I’ve been angry and hurt and said shit, too. It’s okay.”

We go about our usual morning schedule, cut in half. Just her locker and mine, then straight to home room.

We text until class begins.

He didn’t tell you the plan, did he?

No.

Of course he didn’t.

He likes to keep people in the dark. If Tai and I- or, at least, someone a lot like me- weren’t so integral, we’d be soundly in the dark, too.

Well. Maybe not Tai. Armie’s not essential and he knows it all, too.

Is it illegal?

First of all, for big enough fish, nothing’s really illegal.

Second of all… Sort of. Not really.

Not really?

I doubt I’m allowed to say, Rey.

Are you scared of him?

Of course I’m scared of him, Rey.

His ‘sweetheart’ or not, you should be scared, too.

But maybe it’s better if you’re not. You get away with so much more than I ever did.

I don’t think I’m scared of him.

He’s scarY. I don’t think I’m scarED.

Mmm. Like I said, probably for the best.

Have you met Phasma yet?

No.

Good luck. She’s important, too- or someone like her.

Not many people like her, though, so…

And what am I?

You

If this is chess, you’re the queen

Probably not too involved. The most important piece.

The most powerful piece, and too risky to utilise. Unless the stakes get that high.

Ben will do his damndest not to let it get that high.

Even in chess, he’s always been so overprotective of his queen.

Now I’m a little scared.

That’s far off, Rey. Your biggest concern is the fact that you’re going to have a fucking baby as soon as humanly possible.

At least the bruises will stop.

Did he get you pregnant?

Yeah.

I had an abortion and told him it was a miscarraige.

Don’t ever lie to him. About anything. For any reason. He’ll forgive almost anything else.

And Rey?

Don’t leave him. It’s too late. Maybe it always has been.

I had gathered.

Did he hurt you?

No worse than he’s hurt you.

At least, not much worse, depending. He didn’t exactly give me the details.

I’m not processing any of this situation. At all.

Again, that’s probably for the best.

Just buckle up and hold on. I’m sorry that that’s the only advice I have to give.

Then, class began, and we tucked out phones away. For lunch, Ben guides me to one of the smaller tables- one that could fit four, but that is really only well-suited for two.

“Show me your little conversation with Baz,” Ben says.

I pull out my phone and get to it. “I’m sure you already know what was said.”

“Of course I do,” Ben says. “It’ll be so much easier after I buy you a new one.”

Meaning, he’ll see everything on the new one. I don’t have any sort of reaction, internally or externally. Ben reads it all, smirking.

“Look at that,” he says softly. “Bazzie does like you.”

“I don’t like it when you call her that.”

His eyes shimmer. “Alright. Apologies, sweetheart. Oh- you don’t have to worry about meeting Phasma, by the way. Not unless the stakes get that high. If I have my way- and I always have thus far- you won’t have to do a damned thing. I’ll get you ready in case you do, of course.”

“But you won’t tell me what you’re doing.”

Ben smirks. “Trust me, Rey. You’re safer not knowing. What if we get caught?” He says it like he doesn’t believe for a moment that it’s possible. Even if it is, he’s right. Better to just disregard my boyfriend and his friends being vague and weird than be knee-deep in whatever shit they’re digging up. “Do you want a boy or a girl first? We’ll have a couple- we can wait for the others. If you want.”

I flush, shifting. “I… Don’t know. Imagined I’d have a daughter as my eldest.”

“Ah. Mom will be pleased. Han, too.”

I look over at him. “Why aren’t we waiting for all of them?”

Ben meets my eyes, at first tense and annoyed, but as he studies my face and finds little but anxious curiosity, he relaxes. He smiles at me, still so intense and dark. “Because. You’re mine. Right from the get-go. And our sweet little girl will be eternal proof of that.”

I reach over with a fork and steal a bite of his steak. I don’t know why- maybe to proove to myself that I can. That he’s dictating the broad strokes and letting me live. He only watches, amused.

I feel sated by that. Because I’m pathetic.

“Do you know my full name?” he asks.

“No.”

“Benjamin Luca Landonis Naberrie-Solo,” he says.

“That’s… Long.”

“Yes.”

I take a bite of my shrimp. “My name is Rachel Anne Niima, and I know you know that already. I hate Rachel, though. I’m just Rey.”

“Soon, you’ll be Rey Anne Naberrie-Solo,” he says.

Just Rey. My heart flutters.

“And what about our daughter?” he asks. “Other than Naberrie-Solo, of course.”

I think for a few moments. When I was a kid, I had a name picked out.

“Dorothy Anne Naberrie-Solo,” I breathe. “We’ll call her ‘Dottie’.”

Ben smiles a bright, genuine smile, and I commit it to memory as my favorite. “Dottie,” he breathes.

My heart and stomach are rioting from the viscerally emotional reaction.

“And the first boy?”

I think. “Well. I used to like the name Greyson. We could have a little Ben, though. Benji.”

“We’ll shoot for two boys, then.”

“No. One boy and two girls.”

He gets a funny little smile. “Then how will we have Greyson and Benji?”

“Fine. Two boys and two girls. Four is a lot of children, though.”

“I’m sure Threepio will love it.” Oh. We’ll have a governor for our children. I don’t think I like that. As if he can sense my reluctance, he goes on- “They’ll be our kids, Rey. We’ll raise them. Threepio will help us, and we’ve got all of our friends, too. And family.”

After lunch, more class, and then, Ben and I do our homework in peace.

“Oh, by the way,” Ben says as he guides me to the BenBenBen. “We’re having a little party on Saturday at my mother’s. Your friends and mine. Tai’s mother is single, and so is Kay’s dad. Since she wants to be nasty with you.”

I flush and roll my eyes. “Oh, my God. Is that why you asked him that?”

Ben grins. “Of course.”

The week goes on similarly. Mornings with Baz, lunch and homework with Ben. The tapes are entirely forgotten about.

Friday, though… Friday I have a doctor’s appointment with Amilyn. And I’ve never been more nervous in my life as we pull up to it.

More symptoms, all week. It might not show up even if it’s taken, depending on how quickly my body makes hormones.

“What would you do,” I ask suddenly, and he waits to get out of the car. “If I had been infertile?”

Ben looks over at me. “I don’t know. I’d thought about the possibility, of course. Never did come up with an answer.”

Well. He gets out and opens my door for me, guiding me into the familiar office and straight past the desk without so much as a nod at the receptionist.

Ben Solo waits for no invitation, no permission. If I was not already so tired, I might have that powerful feeling again.

First thing’s first- blood test. Amilyn chats with us as we wait. “How long ago did you two begin having sex?”

“Two weeks,” I say.

“Three,” Ben says.

No, it’s for sure just been two.

That I know of.

My blood has run cold.

I give a nervous laugh. “Has it been three already?”

“Yes, sweetheart,” Ben says. “It has.”

“And when was the last time you two had sex?”

“This morning.”

Amilyn looks over at Ben, then me. “Not missing school, or skipping breakfast, I hope?”

It alarms me that that’s her only concern. “No, ma’am,” Ben says.

“Good.” Amilyn gets to a routine checkup then, as the test could take a few hours- or more. When she leaves for a moment, I look over at Ben.

“Did I lose my virginity before you said?”

“No.”

“But you did things that could have gotten me pregnant while we played?”

Ben’s eyes gleam. “You skipped the tapes,” he says, sounding… Disappointed.

And it was the first time I’d remembered the tapes since moving them to his room. I explain.

“Mmm,” he says. “Naughty girl. Next time I leave for my mother’s, you’ll watch three a day to get caught up.”

“Okay,” I say softly. “I’m sorry.”

He gives me a dark but reassuring smile. “It’s alright. Hectic week, I’d say.”

“Yeah.”

Amilyn returns. By the time the routine check up, which is more in-depth than any I’ve ever had before, is done, the results are ready.

She sighs, shoulders sagging just a bit. “You’re pregnant.”

Silence settles on the room, and I stare at the spot just between her shoulder blades. I hiccup, and in doing so, I realize how nausceous I am. “I’m going to be sick,” I say quickly.

And there’s only enough time to get me to the garbage bin in the room to get sick. Ben smooths my hair away, strokes a hand over my back, whispering gentle reassurances. After it’s done, I lay on the exam table, one clean mouth and warm rag later.

“There are a lot of options,” Amilyn says gently, talking about them all. Me and Ben pretend that any of it could be of any use to us, and Amilyn talks about all the vitamins and shit I should start just in case I choose to deliver the child.

There’s no choice. It really eats at me for the first time.

I look down at my stomach, which looks and feels no different. Dottie, you’re non-negotiable, anyway, I whisper in my mind.

Maybe that was why a baby would be first. So he could become attached alongside the child we’d make together. To speed along the inseperableness of the bond.

Because the only way I could get away from him would be to run away and try to care for a child as a fifteen year old minor. And to hide from a guy with the resources Ben Solo had, I’d have to fucking drop off the face of the planet to do so.

“What are we thinking?” Amilyn asks gently.

“Keeping the kid,” Ben breathes, solemn and gentle and strangely genuine, as he looks at my stomach. I look at him and I yearn for this Ben to stay. For this Ben to be the one that I get. For this Ben to be the one Dottie gets, or Benji, or Greyson, or whoever this child grows up to be.

“I couldn’t- I couldn’t have an abortion,” I breathe, because it’s true. It would kill me, personally. “And I don’t think I could… Give up a child after delivering it.”

“So,” Amilyn says. “Embryo transplant or… Keeping and raising a child. At fifteen.”

I can’t look away from Ben. He meets my gaze, and then, he gives a gentle smile. “We can do it.”

“Yeah,” I breathe.

When we get back in the car, he holds my hand. We’re silent and it’s companionable, comfortable.

“For the record,” I say softly. “I don’t care what you do to me. What you rope me into. It does not affect any children we have. That’s the only thing that would get me to leave you- and if you ever came close to hurting them, I would die trying.”

His hand tightens on mine. “Good.”

He drops me off at home. I’d like to rip this particular Band-Aid off, so I ask Jess to get Han and Qira into the family room. I sit on the sofa and wait, feet tucked under my bottom.

Han and Qira come in. Qira’s smiling, intrigued. Han looks like he’s already suspecting what I’m about to say. They sit side by side, hand in hand.

“I’m pregnant.”

Qira’s brows raise, and I watch her for the ten seconds it takes for the words to sink in, and then the reality of it, and then the gravity. She looks down, brow furrowing in almost confusion.

“Already?” is all that Han has to say, looking… Tortured.

I glance down. “I think he wanted it to happen,” I breathe. “I don’t know why we’d already be looking for it, otherwise. I’m barely pregnant enough for it to register on the blood test.”

“I know we disagree on… Certain… Political issues,” Qira says suddenly. “But I think, in this case, abortion might be appropriate.”

Qira is staunchly pro-life, and I am staunchly pro-choice. “We’re keeping the kid,” I breathe.

Qira’s brow knits again and she licks her lips, presses them together.

“You’re fifteen, for fuck’s sa-” Han starts.

“This is non-negotiable.”

Silence settles.

“I’m very tired,” I say softly. “And very overwhelmed. I just… I thought you two should know. Right away. I didn’t… I didn’t ask him if it was okay to tell you alone. Now that I think about it, he’ll probably wish I’d waited for him. But… There it is. I’m going to bed.”

“Goodnight, Rey,” Qira breathes. “I love you.”

I get up and kiss her cheek. “I love you, too. And…” I pull back, look between the two of them. “Thank you both. For… Everything.”

“Don’t fucking pretend,” Han says, sounding drained. “To be any fucking different than him.”

I look down at him, surprised to find that I’m wounded by that. All of it, every little facet. “You think that, if it helps. Goodnight.”

Chapter Text

When I wake up Saturday morning, I’m tied to Ben’s bed and his face is buried in between my legs. After the orgasm, I manage to gather my wits slowly.

“Well, this is familiar,” I say breathlessly, and he laughs into my core- “O- oh,”

He pulls back, eyes gleaming.

“You probably should have waited for me to tell you I might have done a bad,” I say.

“Telling them?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t give a shit,” he says, as if it should be obvious that he doesn’t give a shit. “By the way- you’ll be officially adopted by Qira and Qira alone by Christmas.”

“I’d like to stop talking about them if you’re putting that in me.”

Ben grins, stroking his cock. “Of course I’m putting this in you. Where else would you have me put it? Kay?”

“No,” I grumble, and he winks.

Mercifully, he doesn’t goad me into shouting obscenities this time, but to be honest, it’d be their own fault for sticking around to hear it at this point.

Honey badger just takes what it wants. (Do you even understand the reference?? skalkfafslf)

When he’s done, he collapses into me, then curls up and holds me. After a long few minutes of cuddling, he gets up and pats my thigh. “Now,” he says, looking around. “Where’d you put all your shit, whore?”

“I’d point if I had hands available.”

He gives me a dark, debonair smirk. He always looks happiest after a good nut. “You have a mouth available.”

“Unfortunately, she’s on strike. She’s not had enough hours this week.”

Ben laughs a rich, beautiful laugh, leaning down to kiss me. “Sweetheart, as much as I’d love to keep you tied to my bed, holes filled at all times, it’s simply not practical.”

“Well, good luck getting anything out of her now.”

Ben unties my wrists and ankles and I show him how I’ve put all of my things- he assures me with almost every passing minute that “Yeah, we’re changing that.”

“Rude,” I grumble.

“What was that?”

“She’s on strike from manners, as well.”

“I can tell.”

After he’s chosen my outfit for me, and has not yelled at me for my lippiness, I’m emboldened. “You never got to play with dolls as a kid,” I say. “I bet that’s why you have to play dress up with me.”

Ben’s eyes gleam and he shoves me onto the bed, pinning me with ease. “I got to do whatever the fuck I wanted to as a kid,” Ben says in a low, almost threatening voice, but his eyes are gleaming playfully. “I have to play dress up with you because there’s not a thing that’s going to happen to this immaculate little body that I don’t wholeheartedly approve of.”

Maybe we fuck again, I don’t know.

After that, though, he dresses me and I do my makeup. He brushes my hair and gropes my butt and hips as I finish doing my hair. He presses kisses into my shoulder, my neck. “Does your mother know?”

“Yes.”

“Does anyone else?”

“No. I figured we’d announce it to friends tonight. The grandparents and uncles and such get together every Sunday- we’ll tell them tomorrow.”

“We’re supposed to go homecoming shopping tomorrow.”

“Change of plans,” Ben says. “You and I are going with my mother and Lando. I think they’re dating.”

“What about Baz?”

“I don’t give a flying fuck about Baz,” Ben says, and I frown.

“She’s my friend.”

“As far as I know, she doesn’t have a date. Her shot at homecoming queen is washed soundly down the toilet.”

I sigh and lean back into him. “I’m still not happy about being on the court.”

“Why? You’ll be homecoming duchess, you’ll dance with some idiot in your grade, and we’ll keep your tiara and sash and snicker at them when we remember they exist.”

“You’re so certain I’ll win?”

His eyes gleam. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Are you going to win?”

He laughs. “I always win.”

“Who’s going to be homecoming queen?”

“Fuck if I care.”

I sigh, then give him a look through the mirror. “I’ll kill her.”

He grins, then kisses my cheek. “I’ll kill the duke, then. We’ll dig one hole.”

At least I don’t have to see Ben and Baz dance. I might actually lose my mind. “Tai better win,” I grumble. “I don’t even know the other candidates.”

“It’s very possible.”

“This is all so stupid.”

“Homecoming court? Yes, yes, it is.”

He gets ready and I also follow him around and brush his hair. Eventually, we head out for his mother’s place.

They’re all there already. When I get inside, Kay is flirting with Tai. Finn is huddled next to Poe, eyeing the small crowd wearily. Rose and Baz are chatting, which is a weird sight, indeed.

I get an idea. I kiss Ben as he heads off to find his mother, and I slink towards Rose and Baz.

“How long have you two been talking?” I ask.

Baz’s eyes shimmer. Rose is gawking, looking me up and down. “About thirty minutes. Why?”

“Rosie and Hux. Thoughts?”

Baz giggles. “Good luck. I haven’t so much as seen him flirt with anyone, ever, and I’ve known him since we were in diapers.”

Rose is flushing. “You- what?” she says to me.

“Come,” I say, taking her hand.

“Who are you and what have you done to Rey Niima?” Rose demands.

Armitage looks over at me and smiles kindly. “Hello, Rey,” he says.

“Hello, Armitage,” I say. Rose is flushed as I guide her closer.

He’s just her type. Tall, ginger, attractive, studious. He looks at her and gives another tense but kind smile.

“This is my very good friend Rose,” I say softly. “And Rose, this is Ben’s friend Armitage.” I look over at Hux. “She’s been in need of some new friends for a while, and I think you’re kind and gentle enough to be a good option to… Show her meeting people doesn’t have to be so frightening.”

Hux smiles, and from the look in his eyes, I know that he knows my intention and I know he is at once frightened and excited.

Perfect.

Rose tucks her hair behind her ear. “After that very- rigid introduction,” she giggles out softly, and I wander away as they talk.

A very rigid get-together. Rose and Armitage don’t part for longer than it takes to use the restroom or for him to refill their glasses. He starts touching her back, and she starts touching his arm.

Ben approaches some time later after… Mingling with the crowd, or whatever. “I hear you’re playing matchmaker.”

“Just once. Because it occurred to me suddenly. And it seems to be going well.”

Ben studies Rose and Hux as she giggles, leaning into him, and he beams down at her like he can’t believe she’s real. “That it does,” he says softly. “It… Changes my plans a bit.”

“Oh.” Maybe if you told me what said plans were… “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s alright,” he says softly. “These are people, not chess pieces. There is room for error- ample room.”

Dinner at a ridiculously long table in a ridiculously large dining room- sorry. Banquet hall. Bougie as fuck.

Afterwards, Ben goes to make the announcement-

Panicked, I grip his hand, and he falters. He doesn’t seem to like it, but he stops. Afterwards, as people disperse, he looks at me expectantly.

“I was going to tell my friends separately. They will make a scene- especially Poe.”

Ben sits with that for a few moments, then gives a tense nod.

“I’m sorry.”

“I suppose that’s what I get for telling you nothing,” he grumbles. He’s not happy, and I can’t tell if he’s mad at me. “Go. Tell them. Now.”

I gather them up one by one until we’re accumulated in the study, then drag a still-sour Ben into the room with me. He throws up a convincing veneer.

“Ladies, Kaydies, and gentlemen,” I say. I gathered Tai and Baz, too, because why not?

Kay giggles at that. “What?” she asks brightly.

“Are you engaged?” Poe demands.

I bite my lip and lean into Ben. “No.”

“Are you- married, or some shit?”

“No.”

Poe’s eyes search mine. He knows, now.

“We’re pregnant,” Ben says, with no small amount of satisfaction.

“For the moment, right?” Poe demands, steely, eyes locked on Ben. “And you’re in here asking for support through such a tough time?”

Ben’s eyes lock on Poe’s. “No.”

“Good for you,” Tai says.

“He’s fucking seventeen,” Poe snarls. “She’s fifteen. Not fucking good for them.”

“Poe Dameron,” I say softly, and he looks at me, about to interrupt- I must have a new sort of look on my face, though, because his jaw snaps shut and his lips press together. “You are a very good friend of mine. I appreciate your concern. It’s not as if we are not aware of what… A life changing and… Intense decision it is to keep a child at our ages. But I did not invite all of my friends into this room to be lectured, and I do hope you will all keep that in mind, no matter how worried you are at the moment.”

I’m pretty proud of that little spiel, and from the way Ben squeezes my hand, I can tell that he is, too. Poe shakes his head, then looks over at me. “Then maybe you shouldn’t have invited me into this room,” he grumbles.

And he and Finn just… Walk out.

“Step out of that door,” I say in a low, lethal voice, and they both pause. “And you will not be invited back on any similar occasion. Whether you’d approve of it or not.”

They both waver behind me. The door is still closed. I don’t look back at them.

They walk out.

“Rey…” Rose is the first to break the tense silence that follows. My eyes can’t be willed to search for her, even as she steps forward and takes my other hand.

“We’re here for you,” Kay says.

“They’re just-” Rose starts, and finally, I look at her. Her dark eyes grow sad, and she looks down and leans in to me, and I hold tightly to her.

And then I start to cry- to sob. Ben wants to comfort me, and I know it, but Kay is on me in a moment and she and Rose hold me tightly.

After sadness and comfort and then a bit of gentle excitement, we’re out of the study, and Poe and Finn have left the party entirely.

“Fuck them,” Baz whisper-snaps in my ear.

But they’d been with me through enough that it’s not a sentiment I’m capable of sharing. “Finn is a brother to me,” I breathe. “And Poe-... He’s family, too.”

Baz doesn’t seem to really understand, and something about that hurts, too.

Ben makes an occasion to make the announcement and his strange friends take it so much better. I try to get near him, but it’s like he’s avoiding me, and then, the house is empty save for us. And his mother, somewhere, I think.

His eyes are cold when they find me. “Artoo can take you home.”

“Punish me,” I say suddenly, and he blinks. “For whatever I’ve done to annoy you. But don’t shut me out. If you can’t tell, I don’t do well with that.”

His jaw tightens and he studies me. “You didn’t do anything,” he says softly.

“And you’re shutting me out, anyway.”

He catches my chin and makes me look at him. He brushes a thumb over my bottom lip. “I’m not happy your friends got in between us. I’m not good company tonight.”

He means Kay and Rose hugging me, I gather. “Do I seem chipper, myself?”

He studies me without a word. “Do you want to stay the night?”

“Yes.”

He takes my hand and guides me to his mother, tucked away in the drawing room, whatever that is. He hugs and kisses her goodnight, and she stands to hug me, too. She smiles, half fond and half sad, and lets her hand lay on my stomach. “Family,” she breathes.

I touch her hand. “Family.”

And then Ben and I fall asleep, not touching save for the hands clasped between us.

Sunday morning, I wake up to Ben on top of me, his head laid on my chest, his arms wrapped firmly around me. I yawn and bury my fingers in knotted, downy hair. “G’morning,” I say.

“Goodmorning. I love you.”

Three weeks. “I love you, too.”

Why do we feel and sound like we mean it? Could it possibly be true? “I’m sorry about last night.”

“Don’t be.”

He presses a kiss into my sternum. “You’re comfy,” he says softly. “Which is strange, because you’re tiny and entirely made out of bones and skin.”

“Not true. My thighs are chubby and I’m fairly muscular.”

He smiles into my chest, gripping my thigh. “That’s true, I suppose.”

We lay like that for a while before taking a shower for an hour and a half and collapsing naked on the bed again, only this time, I’m on my belly when he lays on me.

“Ass,” he grumbles into my neck.

“I’m very blessed, aren’t I?”

“And, by extension, so am I.” He grinds his erection into me as he says the word ‘extension’. “I want to fuck you in the ass, right now.”

My heart rate speeds up. It had always been something I was vaguely interested in- but it was also… Daunting.

He presses kisses into my neck. “I’ll use lube, but it’ll be sore still. How’s that sound?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“There was a question that time, wasn’t there? I mean- now you don’t,” he says, pulling back to fish out some lube. “But, for the record- you did. With that little bit.”

“I’m honored.”

He snickers softly. “And you should be,” he says in an odd voice.

I know I should be more alarmed than I am. I know this should bother me more than it does. He adjusts my legs and then spurts some cold, viscous fluid into my crack and I gasp.

“Mmm…” he hums. “Such a nice fucking ass, baby. Fuck.” He slaps me and I groan loudly; my bruises are healed, so it isn’t agonizing, but he slapped me fairly hard. “Love watching you jiggle. Perfect fucking girl.”

He lubes himself up, too, and I hug a pillow closer. “Be gentle with me, please, daddy?”

“Hmm… At first,” he says, shifting us both into position. I feel his two big hands spread my cheeks, feel his thumbs gently massage their way into my entrance.

… It’s easier than I’d have imagined, but then again, I’d coped with the soreness from his little somnophilia punishment.

“God, I love this fucking ass,” he whispers under his breath. “Such a pretty little asshole, baby,” he says, louder. Talking more to me than himself with that. “Pink and inviting and sweet…” his thumbs gently spread me as I fight the increasingly hard-to-ignore compulsion to clench. “Loosen up, sweetheart, or this isn’t going to go very gently.”

I close my eyes and force myself to relax. I still feel myself threatening to flutter closed, but there’s something erotic about just that.

We’ve known each other for a month and already he’s changed, claimed, or marked every facet of my person in some way or another.

I feel him spit gently inside of me, and then, I feel him slide the head of his cock inside, feel the way he stretches me. I moan softly under my breath and he hums in satisfaction.

“I knew you’d be a little buttslut for me, babygirl,” he says. “You came so fucking hard when I took this hole the first time- and believe me, that was not gentle in the slightest.”

I shudder and nibble on my lip. “Thank you, daddy,” I sigh.

He laughs, a dark and sadistically pleased sound, as he gets a few more inches in and removes his thumbs. “For fucking you in the ass?”

“Yes, daddy. For making me your little buttslut.”

He snarls softly and I let out a chortled, throaty sound as he presses all the way inside of me, stretching me open. It doesn’t hurt at all, and he seems to be a master of working past any resistance. He falls forward, draping himself over me, to nip at my ear. “You’re very welcome, sweetheart,” he says. “God- such a perfect fucking ass. It’d just be a shame if I didn’t fuck it full of come.”

I clench down on him and we both moan- maybe it does hurt a little, now, but even as my body fights his presence, it’s so-

Fucking good. I moan and squirm, pressing back into him, and he groans quietly.

“Fuck,” he breathes, voice- strained. “I could do nothing but fuck you for the rest of my life, and that’d be the best damn life a guy could…” he trails off and straightens, clutching my hips in his hands. “Loosen up a little again, sweetheart, or we’ll have to do all of that over again.”

It takes a few moments, but I manage to relax again. He slips out about halfway and I whimper.

It’s so good. My cunt clenches and flexes, empty and jealous. “It’s so fucking good,” I whine as he sinks back in.

“Yeah, baby,” he murmurs. “Fuck. Sweet fucking ass…” he starts rolling his hips, fucking me slowly and sweetly. I wrap my upper body around the pillow and keen in delight.

“Oh- o-oh- God, yes, Ben- daddy- fuck! Yes- thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you…”

“Fuck, Rey,” he snarls. His thrusts speed up, the force behind them increasing. “Such a good fucking good girl for me. That’s it, baby. Take daddy’s cock in that tight little asshole- take it and- fucking love it…”

“Love it so much,” I cry out, high-pitched and throaty, as he only continues to fuck me harder and harder, rougher and rougher. The lewd sounds seem to come more easily. My cunt is throbbing, dripping. My clit feels sensitive and more than a little neglected. “Fuck me, fuck my ass- it’s yours, all yours, forever…”

“That’s right,” he says in a low, delighted snarl. “Daddy’s ass to fuck, whenever he wants, isn’t it?” he emphases the question with a harsh slap to one side and I moan and nod vehemently.

“All yours, daddy, all yours!”

Faster, harder, rougher. He groans and grunts, cursing and muttering. He grabs my ankles and holds them close to my hips for a bit; after a while, he lets go and grabs my arms, folding them behind my back. He puts a bit of his weight on the hand securing them, pressing me into the mattress for a bit; after a while, he leans back and supports me, my upper body dangling and bouncing from the force of his thrusts.

“Fuck, daddy,” I whimper. “I’m so close, please, I’m so close…”

“This is all you’re getting,” he manages, breathy and strained. “And I’m fucking close, too, so you’d better fucking hurry up and come for me, you stupid fucking bitch…”

“Please, Ben,” I gasp. “Talk to me. Call me more names- nice and mean, please- please-”

He laughs breathlessly. “Yeah, baby? You’re my sweet little comesock, aren’t you? Just meant to pumped full of fucking come- but you do such a good job of it. Just a filthy fucking whore- a tight fucking cocksleeve- but you’re gorgeous, sweetheart, and soft, and warm, and wet- so eager and ready for me- fuck, Rey. You’re a goddamn fuckdoll for me, and you’re better than anything I’d ever dreamed.”

It’s enough. I cry out, begging to come, probably entirely incoherent- but he must get the message, because he grunts his approval and I come, shuddering and seizing and twitching as he half-dangles me over the pillows. “Fuck!” I scream. “Thank you, daddy- thank you, Ben- fuck! Yes!- for making- oh, hoh-ooooh… Me come for you while- while you… Fuck-fuck me in my ass…”

“Fu- uck,” he hisses, and then my chest finds the bed and he leans over me, grinding into me as deeply as he can. “Good girl- gonna fuck come for you, pump this tight ass full- fuck, Rey…”

Warmth sputters into my ass in spurt after spurt, and he grunts and groans into my hair. His arms slip around my waist, clutching me tightly, and he palms over one breast languidly as he rides out his orgasm. I grind back into him, helping him, and he bites down on the skin of my shoulder.

“There you go, baby,” he whispers, pressing kisses along my shoulder and upper back. “Fuck, that was so fucking good, Rey. Good fucking girl.”

He lays there for a while, and I wiggle my arms free, tucking one under the pillow and folding one back to play with his hair. He hums gently and shifts to press lazy kisses into the side of my face.

“I fucking love you,” he breathes, as if in awe of his own words.

“I love you, too,” I whisper, flushing- not out of shame, but… A weird and pathetic gratitude.

Every single facet of all that is me.

Eventually, he sighs and straightens onto his knees, dragging out of me. There’s a weird sensation in my stomach, and it only grows as he pulls out. Before long, I’m curled into his chest, and it’s only a matter of time before I’m drifting off to sleep as his fingers trace lazy circles into my shoulder blades.