Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The monster sighed, haphazardly tearing the nails off of a decapitated hand he found lying around and flinging the frail material to the ground. The battle from the night before, he could still feel his skull throbbing from the beating it took. All from that human meatsack – no. That woman who fought with the wrath of a thousand suns.    

He sighed, adjusting his coat to crease the wrinkles. If he was being honest, he didn’t know what he was doing with his life anymore. The plan was to cook something edible as a ‘thank you’ to the two odd children who saved his life from the lavender haired human, and to his credit he did. However, it was another patch of broth he had whipped up in a half-assed manner. The thought of adding candy to it crossed his mind, since from what he observed, children loved the sweet stuff, but once again, it wasn’t as if he had any lying in the house.  

The truth was he just didn’t have anything to cook with unless they somehow built an appetite for human flesh overnight.   

Why did humans have to be such picky creatures? There’s an entire list of items he could have cooked with human flesh, but with human food he had to worry about nonsensical ingredients, such as spices, seasonings, or washed vegetables. It wasn’t as if he couldn’t, but it was so much easier to cut up a corpse and call it day.  

The pitter patter of feet skittering up to his house reached his ears, and knowing it was those two, he released a long sigh. Seeing them again so soon after what happened, he was not sure if he was going to be able to put up with their high energy.   

Getting up and walking to the door felt as if he was purposely walking towards his doom. Images of Eyes taunting him at the forefront of his mind, making his footsteps feel heavier with each step towards the door. He tried to rid himself of those thoughts, but no one could ever truly run from his influence. The universe warned him this was only the beginning.  

The monster feared of what the implications of those words could mean.  

His claw slowly clasped the doorknob. He gulped, wiping some sweat off his brow before opening the door by a crack. Not being able to fit his head through the small crevice, he used one of his large eyes to peer a look outside.  

Two gleeful children greeted him with eager wave of their arms.   

“Hello, Mr. Lemon!” They shouted in unison.  

Seeing no escape from this situation, the monster opened the door, and stepped outside, glancing left to right.  

Skid tilted his head in confusion. “What are you looking for, Mr. Lemon?”  

“Uh-” his claw twitched nervously, blinking rapidly. “- Is she here? Your mother?”  

“No, she needed to work on something tonight.”  

The monster visibly relaxed, his stiff posture deflating to a calm stance. The costumed children - however naïve they may be - caught on to his behavior. They recalled what happened the night prior and smiled wider at him.  

Pump giggled, pointing a finger at the lemon monster. “Skid, I think he is scared of your mom.”  

He frowned. “I am most definitely not afraid of some  human .”  

“It’s okay, Mr. Lemon.” Skid patted his leg in a show of sympathy. “My mom is kinda scary when she gets really mad.”  

His left eye twitched, aggravated from how they were treating him. An exhale left his mouth in an attempt to calm himself down. Breath in. Breath out. Breath in. Breath ou-  

“You kind of deserved it, though.”  

Red filled his vision, and without warning his claws wrapped around their fleshy heads. One simple squeeze would end it all, he knows it would be so deliciously simple, but as his nails threatened to prick the fabric of their colorful costumes, and seep into their youthful, delicious blood – he realized something.   

They weren’t scared of him. They still had that those same patient smiles on their faces as if he hadn’t done anything wrong. He’d done so many things to harm them, and their loved ones, but their eyes looked at him as if he were just a child who had gotten caught doing something mischievous.   

He couldn’t bring himself to kill them like this.   

Something told him he couldn’t. A conscious? No, he just wasn’t hungry.  

That had to be the reason why.  

His grip loosened, allowing his claws to rest on top of their heads. Skid and Pump glanced at each other, confused at what was happening, but before they could ask their lemon friend, he ruffled their heads awkwardly, and stood back up as if nothing happened.  

“So...” he shoved his claws into his pockets, leaning against the door. “You two have something planned tonight?”  

They shook their heads.  

The monster raised an eyebrow in question. “Really? Nothing at all?”  

“We kind of just walk around until stuff happens,” Skid said, shrugging his shoulders.   

“There is also lots of friends we can say hi to!” Pump suggested. “We can say hi to Roy and his friends if you want! I think they miss you a lot.”  

Ah, the three delinquents. There was something about those three he took a liking to, and rarely did he ever feel that way about human children. Despite that, his gut told him he yearned for something else tonight. He will think of a way to entertain himself later with them, on some other scheme perhaps, but as of now...  

He had something to prove.  

The monster turned his attention to Skid, and using the sweetest voice he could muster, he asked, “you mentioned your mother being home? I should let her know about me accompanying you.”  

Skid pondered for a second, but shook his head. “Are you sure, Mr. Lemon? What if she beats you up again?”  

“She won’t,” he stated, dropping his syrupy tone. “Besides, you two will be there to stop her, won’t you?”  

 Pump tapped his chin in thought, squinting at him. “I don’t know... you seem pretty scared of-”  

“I am NOT scared of her,” he interrupted, his gaze hardening into a cold stare. “If I was scared then I would not bother that woman with my presence, would I?”   

Sometimes he wasn’t sure if they were mocking him. They were children, but the way they pursed their lips told him they were sharing silent messages between one another and weren’t telling him something.   

“Okay!” Skid finally nodded. “Let’s go to my house for spooky month!”  

“But promise to be good, okay?” Pump added.  

He rolled his eyes, not bothering a reply as he followed him.  

Arriving in front of the mundane building brought pleasant memories. He remembered his first encounter with the skeleton boy’s mother having a rough start when she batted a home run on his teeth, but everything after that was pure bliss. The scent of her fear, the thrill of the hunt, until finally listening to her screams of terror as he forced her to endure her worst nightmare. He wondered if anything would have changed had he ended her life then.   

His eyes watched the backs of the two boys intently as Pump reached for the doorbell. Perhaps it was for the best he didn’t kill her. As much as he hated being bested by a mere human in a fight, the aftermath showed him love. Not the romantic kind that has fascinated him for so long, but something else entirely.   

The bond between the three made him curious...  

He was interrupted by his thoughts as the door swung open, revealing the human he had the displeasure of meeting. Her eyes widened in surprise at the sight of the boys.  

“Boys? You’re back early, what happened with-” she stopped, her eyes trailing to the lemon monster standing behind them. “- with your friend...”  

An awkward silence filled the air, but as usual, the monster did not catch the hint of being unwelcome, and instead tilted his hat in a cordial greeting. “Good evening, how are ya?”  

“Mr. Lemon wanted to say hi,” Skid explained, not noticing his mother shifting in place nervously.   

The monster shoved past her, roughly bumping into her shoulder as he made his way inside. She glared daggers at his back, but he ignored her, eyes zooming everywhere around the house. It felt odd, but the house was starting to become familiar enough for him to call a second home.  

"I never said this before, but you have a real nice place," he said, following a scent coming from the kitchen. "And the smell is not that bad either."  

"That food isn't for you, you know."  

The monster stopped, turning around to face her as if what uttered out of her mouth was otherworldly.   

“It’s for them.” She pointed to the two children near her feet who waved at him in greeting again.  

He scoffed. “I don’t care. What’s stopping me from taking the food off their plates?”  

Lila sighed, walking past him with Skid and Pump in tow. The two children giggled, but gave no indication as to why as they entered the kitchen. He quickly stalked after them, prepared to follow through on his threat, but the next thing he knew his mouth was salivating at the sight before him.   

What sat on the table were what looked like tiny hot snowflakes decorated around a charred piece of chicken breast. The combination of steamed vegetables on the side weren’t needed, but with how hungry he was he could withstand eating the flavorless green trees. However, as enticing as the plates were, what really caught his eye was the fridge the annoyed woman had opened.  

An entire row of broth contained in their packaging. They ranged from chicken, beef, vegetables, and some other flavors he did not know even existed.  

“We had an all this leftover from the last time you came over, so-”  

Without wasting any time, his legs carried him to the cold delicacies, grabbing one of each into his claws, and popping the respective caps off, allowing the liquid to fall into his open mouth like a waterfall.  

“-You’re welcome,” she muttered sarcastically, shutting the fridge and sitting down next to her son who had already begun to dig in to his plate.  

The trio were conversing among themselves while he busied himself with gurgling on his favorite drink. He kept an open ear for anything interesting, but their topics of conversation were boring human stuff, such as school, spooky month, or some other friend they had, which might as well be the entire town.   

After downing the final carton, the monster pat his engorged belly, taking a seat across from them, and burped loudly. Skid and Pump giggled at his insensitive table manners, but Lila found no humor in it, gathering their plates, and dumping them onto the dishwasher.   

“Boys, you still have two more hours to play outside if you want, just make sure you brush your teeth beforehand, okay?”  

“Okay, mom!” Skid yelled, already marching his way upstairs. Pump on the other hand stayed rooted to his seat, humming a tune, and rocking his small legs back and forth against the chair.  

As cute as that was, Lila also sent him a knowing look. “You too, Pump.”  

Pump pouted, but nodded in agreement, running after his best friend to brush his teeth alongside him.  

The monster watched how easily she controlled them with just a look, wondering if he could ever do the same or if it was just a power mothers have over their child. She sat down across from him once again, a serious expression plastered on her face.  

“Alright,” she began, narrowing her eyes at him. “You’re up to something, right?”  

He burped again, using a claw to scratch his belly. “What makes you say that?”  

“Maybe it’s because you’ve tried to kill me twice, you ever think of that?”  

The lemon monster’s smile dropped slightly, sitting up straight. “Yes, that... you nearly killed me last time, you know.”  

“Oh no, you are not going to make me feel guilty for that.” She shook her head, staring almost hatefully at him. “I did what I had to do, and I do not. Regret. A thing.”  

He nodded. “If it were not for those two upstairs, I would have allowed you to take my life.”  

“And I would do it again if I wer-” Lila stopped mid-rant, believing she had misheard him. “Wait, what did you say?”  

“I said I would have let you beat me to a bloody paste on the grass if it were not for the children.”  

Her rage deflated, confusion taking over. “Um, why?”  

“Are you kidding?” He stated as if the answer was obvious. “I have been trying for days to eat everything and failing. Then those demons came and gave me a taste of  real  power and stripped it away from me... And to top it all off a human had bested me in a fight.” His claws dug into the edge of the table as he described each failure. “I felt I was no longer the same monster I was before I met those two and no amount of flesh could ever fix that humiliation.”  

Lila took his words in before slowly shaking her head unsympathetically. “I had severe trauma since the first time you tried to kill me. I had trouble sleeping before, but that was just from my insomnia. Now every time I close my eyes all I have are nightmares of my son-” she paused, yawning sleepily and rubbing the dark circles under her eyes. “-You get the idea.”  

“Bah, those pains heal over time, human,” he dismissed. “Besides, you are not alone, your son will always be there for you, just as he was there for you that night you were pelting me.”  

She smiled, but quickly grew suspicious again. “Why are you bringing that up, anyways?”  

“Because I wanted to thank you.” He leaned in, eyes twinkling with delight. “Because of you three, I was able to witness something so sweet~ A new form of love I did not know existed.”  

Lila leaned back, eyeing the nearest kitchen knife. “W-what are you talking about?”  

Noticing her discomfort, he sat back down. “Why did you stop when the boys arrived?”  

“... Because they reminded me that I was better than that,” she whispered, not wanting to look at his crazed eyes. “And I am better than that, or at least better than I was.”  

He was not sure how to discern her emotions, but he liked what he was seeing so far. “Being able to hold back your wrath for the sake of your children – that takes a lot of love, human. I’ve met and eaten multiple parents before, but I don’t think I have met one quiet like you.”  

She tried not to think about the number of parents he’d taken – the amount of kids he must have left parentless and alone. “Why are you telling me this?”  

“Just curious,” he replied, standing up to crease his coat. “The boys should be here any second now, so I will be waiting for them outside.”  

The monster began to make his way to the front door just as Lila was having second thoughts about leaving them in his care. She knew they would be safe before, but after that talk? She needed to do something.  

“Don’t worry your purple little head,” he said, reading her thoughts. “I am not going to hurt them, and I will be sure to return them back home safe and sound – limbs and everything.”  

“How do I know if I can even trust you?”   

He was already out the door, but he peeked his head back in, smiling with a jolly grin and winked at her. “That’s the best part, you don’t”  

With the door shut, the monster exhaled, relieved that their discussion did not break into another fight. Not that he was afraid of her, but taking her on in combat was very exhausting. Standing on the front porch, he reflected on her words. She really did love those two numbskulls, huh? That much was clear, but he still felt there was a missing piece in her heart somewhere. Could it be a missing lover like he deduced during the party or something else?  

Something like a missing father in the boy’s life? There had to be something there, right? Did he love her? Did he love his son just as much as she loved hers? So many questions and the only answer he got was man-meat's death. His eyes searched the stars for some confirmation of his questions.  

After all, who else would know, but the stars?  

“We’re back, Mr. Lemon!”  

“And we’re ready for spooky month!”  

He chuckled, making sure to allow them to run ahead a few feet before following behind. “Is it just me or is every night spooky month?”  

Skid hummed, glancing at Pump. “Is every night spooky month, Pump?”  

“Yep! Even on the spookiest months of all like November!”  

What innocence. Ironically, the purple woman had no reason to distrust him. He would never admit it to anyone, especially her, but...  

No, he wanted to kill them. He just wasn’t hungry anymore.  

Yes, that had to be it.  

Chapter Text

For the next hour and a half, the costumed duo travelled around their block, waving hello and dancing to quite literally every single person on the street. They would never wave back of course due to his intimidating presence lurking behind them, but it was still quite annoying. His eyes kept wandering to the house on the hill, his mind plagued with questions to ask the eldritch being. It was a shame the two brats were dragging the little time they had out.  

The monster couldn’t go speak with Eyes without the kids, he would most likely be tortured again if he tried to speak to him on his own. The thought of whisking the children by their tiny necks, and running straight up the hill seemed appealing, but that would most likely infuriate the mother.  

If he had to choose between angering the Eyes of the Universe or that woman...  

Wait a minute, why the hell is this a difficult choice in the first place?!  

“Mr. Lemon are you okay?”  

He snapped out of his thoughts, giving the boys his best smile. “I’m just peachy.”  

“But you’re a lemon,” Pump pointed out.  

“Shut up, pumpkin” he muttered, staring at the stars above them. “Why do you two have to back so early tonight, anyways? The best kind of fun happens late after dark after all.”  

“It’s a school night!” Skid explained, skipping ahead. “Besides my mom will probably beat you up again if we don’t go back!”  

The monster kept staring at the stars, hoping his scowl wasn’t noticeable. “It’s a real shame. I really wanted to visit Eyes today. You know, since we’re  such  good friends and all.”  

Aw, I miss him too, Mr. Lemon,” Pump said. “We can visit him tomorrow night if you really want to!”  

Tomorrow night? That sucked the fun out of things, but he supposed he could wait. A yawn escaped his mouth, reminding him of how tired he was from the sulking he did in his home.   

Skid giggled, “Looks like you need to sleep too!”  

“Yeah, yeah, fine you brats, I got the message,” he grumbled, beginning to walk the opposite way to his run-down abode. “And don’t bother trying to get me to walk you home, I had enough of crazy humans trying to turn my face into mush.”  

He swore he saw a small smirk forming on Skid’s lips, but it quickly morphed back to his trademark grin.  

What a brat.   

The two kids waved goodbye at him and continued to do so until his shape completely disappeared.  

“Mr. Lemon is soooo scared of your mom, Skid,” Pump whispered into his friend’s ear, not wanting their lemon friend to hear them.  

Skid hummed in agreement, unaware of an ice cream truck speeding past them, and towards their friend.  

The monster liked to think he was a master of his class. He was a hunter, a predator who kept track of his prey, and more often than not would know their patterns better than they would even be able to recognize themselves. He had to; his perception abilities would prove to be much less effective if he was not able to decipher their fears. Watching them squirm and cry out was part of the fun after all.  

Which is why he found it awfully strange when a massive pink vehicle was trailing behind him.  

He’s been around the block. He may have had some bumps during his time in this town, but if there’s one thing he learned – you don’t stalk a stalker. There was a reason why the role of a hunter was given to him, and not the other way around. Prey and predator – the human behind him clearly did not recognize the role he played in this world.  

Saliva dripped from the monster’s maw, adrenaline beginning to pump into his veins. It had been so long since his last kill. He knows he somewhat made a deal with those little turds, but what’s the harm in eating just one stalker?  

His thoughts were cut off when the truck screeched to a halt next to him. The window rolled down, revealing a grimy looking human with a poorly shaven stubble. The way he smelled was particularly foul, which was a trait to be praised for as he rarely ever noticed such a distinct smell in a human. The manner in which the man smiled at him, his dark eyes boring into his own – he felt a spark of a kindred spirit, and couldn’t help but return it with his own menacing smile.  

“Well, well,” he spoke, leaning back into his seat casually. “I never would have thought I would find you walking in plain sight, but I guess following those kids was the right call.”  

Now  that  was odd. “You have been searching for me?”  

“Nah, but I do got something that might interest your ugly mug,” the human leaned back clicking the door open from the other side. “The night ain’t over yet, hop in.”  

Against his better judgement, the monster slithered his way around, and bounced inside the ice cream truck. He was interested in the human’s offer, sure, but part of why he was so eager to get inside was because he missed the sensation of soft leather against his bum. As he settled in, the man shifted gears, gently pressing on the petals to move forwards slowly.  

“Name’s Frank, but I'm sure you don’t really give a damn,” he snickered. “You live in that old house down the street, yeah? Those kids mentioned something about you living there.”  

“That I do, but I assume you did not invite me here to talk about my living arrangements.”  

Frank glanced at him, before swiftly staying glued to the road ahead. “That coat you’re wearing – belonged to a dealer I knew.”  

The monster squinted his eyes in thought, slowly nodding his head. “I vaguely remember killing a human like that. Why? Want his clothes back? As a sentimental way to honor his pathetic passing?”  

Frank grinned, unaffected by his taunts. “Heh, that guy was just a dealer, what happened to him sucks, but hey – it sucks to suck.” He swiveled to the right, parking the truck next to an alleyway, and shifting the gearstick to the letter P.  

“When I saw what happened to the guy -” he whistled, sending the monster a proud smile. “That was real messed up what you did, reminded me of my human trafficking days when I was a teenager.”  

“Human... trafficking?”  

He nodded, “Yeah, kind of what I do now except with grown adults.”  

“Ah, so you’re the child-napper,” he chuckled. “Why do you target children anyhow? They’re not very filling meals in my experience.”  

Frank rolled his eyes, his grin widening slightly. “I don’t eat them; I sell the little tykes back to their parents for some big moolah. I made more money with my trafficking business, but eh, it’s a lot easier to get rid of a kid – less messy too.”  

He pointed a thumb to the back. “You see that bag there?”  

The monster turned his head to the bag in question, the scent coming from it oddly familiar. “Got a child in there?”  

“Oh yeah, and this kid’s parents, let's just say their money ain’t anything to sniff at.” His smile dropped, “Although, they haven’t answered any of my calls. Even left a voicemail saying I got their kid, but if they don’t care... I guess the little man is gonna have to learn how to swim.”  

The monster laughed at the irony. “Drowning a child down a river, huh? That is a far crueler death than outright bashing the boy’s head in.”  

“I’ve gotten my hands dirty before, lemon man, but it’s the aftermath of cleaning the stuff off the floor that sucks.” There was slight movement behind them from the bag, but they both ignored it, continuing their conversation. “Besides, I think you’re going to like what I got in mind for you.”  

He didn’t like the way he addressed him, as if he were a pawn in his little kidnapper game, but humored him anyways, curious to see where this lead. “Do tell me then,  Frank. ”  

 Frank rubbed his hands together, a coy glint in his eyes. “Tomorrow’s Monday, meaning every kid in this neighborhood is going to be in school.” He shoved a hand down his pocket, taking out a small pair of compact binoculars. “I’ve been studying the layout and the routes of the third graders. When the bell rings at two, the kids come out and wait at the bus stop for twenty minutes-”  

“- Giving us time to swoop in and take the rascals for your little scheme,” the monster finished, several steps ahead of him. “It is a nice plan you have there, but I must ask, what’s in it for me?”  

“It’s obvious, isn’t it?” Frank asked, drumming his fingers against the dashboard. “Some of these kids – their parents don’t give a damn what happens to them, and won’t negotiate any money. You help me out with this job, and you get to keep all the rejects.”  

He hummed, deep in thought of the human’s proposal. He’s eaten children before - not many, but enough to decipher that it was not worth the trouble when he could go for meals twice or triple their size. However, it had been so long since he partook in human meat. Ever since those two spooky children bombarded into his life, they took that pleasure away from him. This was his chance.  

… Oh, the kids.  

He still owed them, didn’t he? He didn’t like having a debt over his head unless he was the one collecting. His mind racked for a solution to both problems, but everything always led to cooking human flesh. It was his specialty, but they wouldn’t eat that.  

Something clicked in his brain, “You mentioned you get money from this?”  

Frank raised a brow in confusion. “Yeah, why?”  

“... I want half of the money you get for this job.”  

The human eyed him silently, his smile now turned into a frown. “Lemon man, I got to ask, what do you need money for?”  

He turned his gaze to the window. “I have a new taste for green paper maybe.”  

Frank chuckled darkly, his hands gripping the wheel. “The reason I even wanted to bring you is because I thought you did not want money.”  

“Then how about I kill you here, and eat you instead?” The monster growled, staring intensely back at him. “Then I'll go after the kids myself, slit their throats, and shove their tiny bodies inside yours. I’ll roast you like a turkey with children as the stuffing, and then I-”  

“Alright, I get it,” Frank grumbled, disturbed by what was just described. “We will split the money fifty-fifty, but you’re going to help me get rid of the rejects after in return.”  

“Now that sounds like a fair deal.” The hungry monster shifted into a more comfortable position, purring as he turned to his side, and rubbing his cheek against the leather cushion. “Wake me up when you’re ready to start kidnapping.”  

“You’re going to sleep here? In my truck?”  

“Mhm,” he mumbled, already dozing off to sleep. “Got a problem?”  

The last thing he heard was the opening and slamming of the car door. The human was most likely upset, but he wasn’t stupid like the candy dealer. He didn’t try to fight or resist. As long as he kept his word on the money, the monster will let him live.  

When he opened his eyes, he was not in the ice cream truck anymore.  

Instead of a soft surface rubbing against his butt, the material beneath him felt cold, almost like a metal. His eyes were forced to squint against the surrounding lights, nearly blinding him before his retinas could adjust. Laughter was all around him, but it wasn’t mocking like in his previous dream. No, this laughter felt... happy? It was the sort of laughter he would hear when humans would gather in one place with their friends or families.   

He then realized that although he was in a sitting position, he was above ground, and very high up might he add. He could see different shades moving around beneath him. Humans, maybe? It was difficult to tell as the shapes would disappear just as often as they would appear.  

What the hell is this place?  

Something made contact with his shoulder, activating his killer instinct. He roared, and lunged at the foggy figure next to him, but his claws grazed through them, and the next thing he knew he was plummeting face-first into the bright lights. The laughter that was once syrupy sweet now transformed into the same laughter that was poking fun at him. They were laughing at him again. Why?  

The lights abruptly turned off, taking the laughter along with it.  

He was alone.  

And then he saw it. In the distance, a woman, no. A demon-like figure stood in his path, her a small glint of silver the palm of her hand. He couldn’t see her face, but he knew who it was.  Flickering, flowing fire adorns her head, which itself is scarred all over. A plume of shadow escapes the demon's sinuous nostrils set within a broken nose. Her head sits atop a compact, bony body. Gaping wounds show an infernal fire within, seemingly like a reminder of a certain event in the past.  

She charged at him, ready to plunge the blade into his eye, and-  

“Ey, wake up.”  

The monster jumped from his seat, sweating, and panting as his claws grasped his coat. “W-what happened?! Where am I?!”  

“You’re in my truck, remember?” Frank said, smiling at his misfortune. “I found you tossing and turning in your sleep – whimpering too. Must have been a real bad dream for it to freak you out like that.”  

He wiped the sweat off his brow, shaking his head in disbelief. It was just a dream, just a dream. He wasn’t scared of her; it was just Eyes fucking with him is all. That’s it. He was fine, he always will be fine.  

Taking a moment to collect himself, he addressed Frank. “Are we at the school?”  

“Yep, so you better get ready to play your part in about two minutes.”   

He nodded, grateful for the change of subject. “Let me handle the children.”  

“You sure? I can just offer ice cream and they’ll all fall asleep with one lick of the stuff.”  

“And I can get them inside without anyone suspecting a thing,” he countered, watching a group of small children come sprawling out the front doors. “Focus on keeping this hunk of metal alive, and I'll do the talking, got it.”  

Frank shrugged in agreement, flicking a switch, and igniting a charming tune to lure the school kids. Almost immediately, more than half a dozen kids were drawn to the music, rushing their small legs towards the truck. The monster adjusted his coat and hat before clicking the door open to step outside.  

It was showtime.  

The screams of the excited children quieted down as he stepped outside, the air growing tense as they took in the lemon headed stranger in front of them. His eyes trailed over each one of their heads, memorizing their features one by one. His jaw widened, prepared to affectionately manipulate them and gain their trust.  

“Hi, Mr. Lemon!”  

His teeth clamped shut, nearly biting his own tongue. “Oh, for the love of-”  

Skid and Pump pushed their way to the front of the crowd, their bowl cut and curly bouncing with each step. It was not fair how they looked completely different without their costumes.  

“That’s Mr. Lemon?” A girl with an orange bow said from the front.  

“Yep! He is a really cool and spooky friend of ours!” Skid proclaimed, joining the monster by his side.   

Pump nodded, jumping next to Skid. “Why did you come to school, Mr. Lemon?”  

He blinked, almost forgetting the entire reason why he was here. “Er, I wanted to surprise you and all your friends with a little treat. All you have to do is follow me into our ice cream truck and-” he stopped, spotting a boy with blond hair waving his arms wildly in the back. “-Yes, what?”  

“My mommy told me that I should never go inside cars with strangers.”  

He laughed, gently placing his claws onto the scalps of Skid and Pump and raising them into the air. “These two trust me, why shouldn’t you as well?”  

The spooky kids nodded, laughing as they used his wrists to swing around in the air, and kicking their feet.  

“Um... because my mommy told me not to?”  

“Well, can your mommy do this?” With a twirl of his wrist, he transported the children into an ice cream wonderland. They all gasped in awe, everywhere they looked, the frosty delicacy decorated every inch of their world. The floor itself felt soggy to the touch, similar to snow, but instead it was a combination of chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, and every color of the rainbow.”  

“Kids,” he spoked up again, opening the door to the back of the truck. “I think it’s time for Mr. Lemon to show you a whole new world of fun.”  

The kids scrambled to get into the truck, nearly toppling over one another, and giving him their thanks as they hopped inside. The last one to get inside was the shortest of the bunch who spoke about his mommy. The monster was about to shove him inside, when the boy suddenly wrapped his arms around his leg, sniffling against his pants.  

“Thank you, Mr. Lemon,” he whispered, drying his snot and tears into the fabric. “I can’t believe my mommy told me to stay away from strangers like you. YOU’RE SO COOL!”  

“Wow, um... Okay.” Feeling awkward, he lightly pried the boy off of him, ushering him inside. “Eat some ice cream, it’ll make you feel better.”  

He nodded, following the other kids inside without a word. The monster turned his gaze to Skid and Pump who were staring at him with stars in their eyes. “What are you two looking at?”  

“It’s super cool how you’re making friends with our friends!” Pump exclaimed, patting his leg.   

Skid nodded, smiling up at him. “Yeah, it’s amazing how fast you’re changing since you almost killed my mom.”  

He groaned, lowering his hat to cover the growing heat around his cheeks. “Just shut up and get in.”  

They laughed, following him inside, but were silenced by the sight of their classmates lying on the ground sound asleep. “Uh, what happened?”  

“Ey, kids! How’s it going!” Frank greeted from the front of the driver’s seat as he shoved a girl into a bag.”  

“We’re doing okay, mister,” Pump answered, looking worriedly at everyone asleep.  

“Where uh are we going?” Skid asked.  

Frank snickered, igniting the engine. “Somewhere fun.”  

Skid and Pump turned to the monster, asking him silently what was going on. Normally he wouldn’t care, but something about the way they looked at him told him to ease their worries. “You two will be safe, I’ll make sure of it.”  

“But what about our friends?” Skid asked, pointing to them.  

He shrugged, “Best case scenario they all go back home too.”  

Pump frowned. “Mr. Lemon...”  

“Hey, don’t be like that, I'm doing this for you in a way.”  

Something moved in the corner of his eye, drawing his attention. It was the brown bag, except this time whoever was inside was struggling desperately to get out. He placed his index claw over his teeth, indicating the boys to stay silent as he grabbed the bag in his hands. He undid the knot, opening it to tell whoever was inside to shut up, but instead was shocked with who was revealed.  

“Roy?!” Skid and Pump gasped. Their friend/bully had seen better days. He was bound by rope, his hands tied behind his back, and gagged, the only sounds coming from his mouth being muffled pleas for help. Evidence of dried tears ran down his cheeks, but it seemed his tear ducts had run out of the liquid, his eyes red from the amount of crying he had done inside the bag.   

The monster was speechless. He was not sure what to do now. He didn’t have a problem kidnapping kids, he didn’t know or care about their well-being, but he actually liked this particular one. He glanced behind him, checking to see if Frank had noticed, but he was too busy bopping his head to a beat from the radio.  

He closed his eyes, silently cursing himself for what he was about to do. “You two free him. I’ll be right back.”  

They nodded, Skid working on Roy’s binds while Pump removed the gag from Roy’s mouth. The monster crept up behind Frank who was completely unaware of his partner creeping up on him. He believed in another world, he and Frank could have maybe teamed up and gotten along as Machiavellian  bastards , but as of now he couldn’t allow him to continue his plans.  

His claws gripped the back of his head, not even giving a second to scream before slamming his face onto the steering wheel twice. The truck came to an abrupt stop, almost sending him flying, but he kept his grip on Frank, checking to make sure he was out for the count. His nose was bleeding, but sure enough he was out for the count. Lifting him off the seat, he dragged his body, and shoved Frank inside the ice cream freezer. It was a tight squeeze, and he was sure the human’s back would be sore by the time he woke up, but he’ll live.  

“T-thanks again,” someone whispered behind him. Turning around, Roy had been freed from his binds, but refused any more help from Skid and Pump despite their protests. “I thought I was going to die in there, and uh. Yeah, thanks.”  

“And thanks for not doing whatever it was you were going to do, Mr. Lemon,” Skid added.   

“... Don’t thank me yet, boys.” He gestured around them, “These kids need to get home somehow or we’ll all get in trouble.”  

“Can’t you drive?” Roy suggested, gesturing to the driver’s seat. “You’re the only one tall enough to do it.”  

He shook his head. “I have only ever slept in these vehicles.”  

Roy facepalmed, “Look, my dad showed me some stuff in his truck, I'll switch the stick, you just press on the pedestal.”  

The monster didn’t know what any of those words meant, but it gave him an excuse to sit on the seat cushions again, so he did as he was told, with Skid and Pump following in tow. His claws held onto the steering wheel, unfamiliar with the contraption in his claws.  

“See the two things on the bottom of your feet?” Roy pointed out.  

“Yes?”  

“The smaller one is for moving forwards, the bigger one is to stop.” He shifted the stick, clicking it in place. “Let’s move.”  

His foot slammed on the pedestal, rocketing them forwards at a great speed. “GENTLY! GENTLY!”  

The monster laughed, leaning his body up to get a better view of what was in front. “This feels amazing! FASTER!”  

Skid and Pump were also giggling their heads off, sitting beside Roy and watching their friends bicker. Roy however, had enough and jumped across the seat to slam his foot down on the brakes.  

The monster frowned, sad to have stopped. “Why are you being such a party pooper?”  

“Idiot! You can’t go that fast!”  

“... Why not?”  

“Because the cops will come after us if we go too fast!”  

He huffed, waving his claw in dismissal. “I’m not afraid of the boys in blue.”  

“Yeah, well, if they see all these people in the back ALL OF US ARE GOING TO GET IN TROUBLE.”  

He glared at Roy, not liking his attitude. “You know, maybe I should have left you in that bag.”  

“Um, guys,” Pump interrupted raising his hand. “Me and Skid know where they all live.”  

Roy crossed his arms, his eyes softening slightly. “You two dweebs know their houses?”  

Skid nodded, adjusting his backpack. “Yeah! We take the bus together all the time, so we could tell you as we drive!”  

“... That is the best thing you two weirdos have ever said, but don’t let it get to your head,” he mumbled. “Alright, Lemon, let’s go drop these idiots off.”  

It took a while, but the monster and Roy were able to create a system of gently moving forwards while Roy pressed on the brakes whenever they needed to make a stop. In their rush, the monster would haphazardly fling the tiny children from his window, dumping them onto their front lawns. Roy didn’t care, he had done worse to them in school with his friends, while Skid and Pump were too ecstatic over hanging out with their friends in an ice cream truck.  

“We’re almost done,” Roy said, relief crawling into his tone. “Just one more dweeb to drop off and we can-”  

A police siren went off behind them, causing his anxiety to blow up again. “Oh, crud, it’s the cops! My parents are going to kill me if they know what we did! And then I'm gonna go to jail and then-”  

“Relax, Roy,” the monster spoke, much calmer than he should be for this situation. “I have a plan to get us out of this.”  

Before Roy could voice his opinion on his past plans, he slammed his foot on the pedestal, roaring the truck’s engine to life, and propelling them past the normal speed limits.  

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! YOU CAN’T OUTRUN THE COPS!”  

He laughed in reply, swerving past several vehicles, and yet the cops were still gaining ground on them. That was fine, he could play ball with them. “Roy, take the wheel.”  

“W-WHAT?! I CAN’T EVEN REACH THE PEDASTAL!”  

“Pump, help Roy with the pedestal.”  

The boy saluted him, jumping over his lap. “Aye, Aye!”  

“Skid, move the stick if Roy tells you to move it.”  

“Yes, sir!”  

He stood up, leaving the steering wheel and nearly sending Roy into a panic attack as he grasped the wheel in his tiny hands. He breathed in and out, focusing on the road ahead, and praying to every god in the universe to not crash.  

Meanwhile, the monster began to move the freezer to the back. He took Frank’s body outside of it, binding his hands with rope, and laying him down on the ground. When he opened the backdoors, he saw two familiar officers, nearly bumping the front of their car against the butt of the truck. He waved at them; a menacing grin plastered on his face.  

“PULL OVER NOW YOU MONSTER!” The one next to the mustached man spoke through a speaker. “PULL OVER NOW OR WE WILL BE FORCED TO USE-”  

Instead of bothering with a reply, the monster flung the entire freezer case onto their vehicle. The front window shattered, causing them to swerve and crash into a tree.   

Good riddance.  

Closing the doors, he joined the crew in the front. “Gee, Roy, slow down, will you? You’re going too fast.”  

Roy glared at him, but commanded Pump to stomp on the brakes, which he did with his hands. “Where is the last house, guys?” He panted, the adrenaline wearing off.  

“It’s that one,” Skid pointed to a green house a block away from them.  

Roy nodded, “Skid, move it to P.”   

Skid did as he was told, and with that, Roy turned the keys, and removed it from the ignition. The vehicle sighed, the engine purring in relief from the calming stop after the wild chase it had to endure.  

“We’re not driving?” The monster inquired.  

“I think I'm never driving in my life ever again,” Roy responded, his legs trembling as he opened the doors. “Let’s just go leave the last dweeb home and go home.”  

The walk to the house was silent. Skid and Pump seemed to be in higher spirits than usual, but Roy was having trouble keeping still, fidgeting as they walked.   

Should he feel bad?  

Nah, it was fun.  

The boy they were dropping off stirred in his arms, waking up from his slumber. “M-mommy?”  

He stuck out his tongue, “Gross, I'm not your mommy.”  

“FREEZE!”  

The monster rolled his eyes, hoping the officers had died in the crash. He turned, the boy still in his arms as he smiled kindly at the two men. “Hello, how’s your day going?”  

Both officers clicked the safety off of their weapons, their intent made clear. “You’ve crossed a lot of lines today, monster,” The mustached one said. “We’re placing you under arrest for kidnapping, assaulting an officer of the law-”  

“AND SPEEDING!” His partner yelled.  

“... That too, I suppose.”  

“Now hold on, officers,” the monster spoke, holding the boy in his arms closer to his chest. “I did not kidnap anyone. In fact, I was saving these boys from the kidnapper.”  

John huffed. “Nice try, but I wasn’t born yesterday.”  

“But it’s true, misters!” Skid yelled, stepping in front of the monster. “Mr. Lemon was trying his hardest to bring all of my friends back home!”  

Pump frowned at the officers. “Yeah, he even saved Roy!”  

With the attention on him, Roy suddenly grew sheepish. “Uh, yeah, he did save me I guess...”  

“If you go ahead and check the truck, you will find your true kidnapper.” The monster chuckled, and with no shame said, “But as usual, you got nothing on me.”  

John sighed, wanting to bury himself into the dirt and never rise again. It was the same kids defending him too, just like that night. He gestured for his partner to come closer.  

“Go check the truck, I’ll stay here with our friend here.”  

“And if he’s right, John? What do we do then?”  

John sighed, putting his gun away and bringing a cigarette to his lips. “We give him a speeding ticket.”  

Chapter Text

“We interrupt this program to bring you some breaking news!”  

The television cut to static, transitioning to a news reporter with curly blond hair, applying lipstick to herself before chucking it to the nearest coworker.  

“About eight elementary school children were kidnapped today in broad daylight, their lives in the hands of a known predator in the area who as of right now is in police custody.”  

In the upper right-hand corner of the television, a photo of Frank slid into view, several of his teeth missing from the beating he took prior to being arrested.  

“The suspect has a long history of crime to their name, dating back to activities such as drug dealing, drug trafficking, human trafficking, child abduction, and worst of all – speeding. However, in even more surprising news, an individual in the neighborhood has taken it upon themselves to free these children from their captor with the aid of three other children, essentially saving their lives from what could have been a horrible demise. We interviewed each of the children for their story on their mysterious savior.”  

The camera cuts to a girl with an orange bow adorning her curly brown hair, glancing shyly away from the camera. “Could you tell us something about the man who saved you?”  

“U-um... he was really tall, and had really scary looking teeth, but I think he was really nice.”  

Another transition, this time to a boy with a hoodie over his head. “His head was really huge, and looked like a lemon! He was super weird, but he gave us ice cream! Bad people wouldn’t give us ice cream, right?”  

“He had super powers! Like a real superhero in a comic book,” a boy with oversized glasses said, bouncing in front of the camera. “He waved his hand like a wand and bam! The world was ice cream land! He could be – LEMON MAN! AND HIS POWERS LET HIM TURN ANYTHING INTO ICE CREAM!”  

Static appeared before revealing a small boy with disheveled blonde hair, bawling his eyes out, and clutching onto his mother’s legs. “MR. LEMON WAS SO COOL, AND NICE, AND AWESOME, AND HE LET ME HUG HIM, AND HE GAVE ME ICE CREAM, AND THEN HE SAVED ME, AND I WISH HE WAS MY REAL DAD!”  

Roy and his two best friends took the spotlight next, his arms crossed and with a devilish smirk on his face. “Yeah, unlike those little dweebs I actually know the guy. We’re kind of like best buds and hang out sometimes. He’s alright for a guy that can tear your face off.”  

Robert cut in front of him, waving his arm in the air. “Mom! Dad! I’m on TV!”  

“DUDE, I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU I WAS GOING TO SPEAK FOR US!”  

The news reporter coughed nervously into her fist, prompting the cameraman to shift the attention back to her. “All these children have only sung praises for this local hero, so it begs the question – who is this mysterious stranger known as the lemon man? Is this a sign of good things to come for our small neighborhood? Will I finally get a raise? This is Melva Robinson – signing off.”  

“BAHAHAHAHA!”  

Lila slammed her fist down repeatedly on the sofa arm, tears streaming down her cheeks as she cackled with laughter at what she just saw. “HERO! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!”  

The monster glared at her; his expression set in a miserable frown. “You really love seeing me suffer, don’t you?”  

“T-THEY DON’T EVEN KNOW THAT YOU TRIED TO KILL MY FAMILY! TWICE!”  

The woman howled even louder, using her hand to cover mouth, but a few snorts were able to escape through her nose. He had never seen her filled with such amusement, it only made him sink further into his seat that it was at his expense.  

“I’m sorry,” she replied, her laughter dying down as she wiped a tear from her eye. “But come on, don’t you feel a little good about what you did? All those kids adored you.”  

He scowled, baring his teeth at the television. “I hate all of them. I should have dropped them on their heads or better yet – have left them with that smelly human.”  

She rolled her eyes, taking the remote to change the channel. “Sounds like something you would do, so then why didn’t you?”  

“I-” his mouth clamped shut, the image of Roy’s tear-filled eyes forcing him to rethink what he was about to say. “Details! I just wanted to shut that child abductor up for thinking he can order me around.”  

She raised an eyebrow, sending him a questioning look. “That’s weird even for you. You don’t do stuff unless it benefits you.”  

“I wanted to-” no, he couldn’t tell her it was because he wanted to buy food for Skid and Pump. That would sound soft. Instead, he tipped his hat down, staring at the wall opposite of her. “- It’s complicated... that’s all.”  

Uncomfortable with how vulnerable he looked; she fixed her attention her back to the television, which was currently playing one of her son’s favorite cartoons. It focused on a family of monsters who lived isolated from the world in a corner of the woods. Many of the episodes focused on their whacky dynamics, which normally she would find cute, but it was definitely less entertaining when you meet a real monster.  

“Hey.”  

She blinked, turning back to his inquisitive stare. “Yes?”  

“Why did that short boy say that about me?”  

Lila smiled, remembering him as the cutest of the kids. “You mean when he couldn’t stop gushing about how amazing you were?”  

“No, the part where he said he wanted me to be his real father.”  

“Oh, um... well you see,” she sputtered, rubbing the back of her neck. “That boy probably did not have a father at home, and since you saved him, he took a liking to you.”  

The monster hummed, taking the information in. “In a way, it’s sort of like your son’s situation, right?”  

“I... suppose so, yes.”  

“Why is that the case?” He asked, his eyes unwavering from hers. “Why do so many mothers end up being the child’s only parent? Is human love really that fickle that parents end up leaving each other?”  

Lila sighed, suddenly feeling the weight of his questions hit her. They were hitting too close to home in her opinion. “Human relationships are more complicated than you think. There could be a lot of reasons why that boy’s mother is alone; could be a divorce, father abandoning them – it's never easy to tell.”  

“Then, what about your man-meat?” He leaned forwards, trying to gauge her reaction. “What made the two of you separate, leaving the boy with only you?”  

Her eyes narrowed, not enjoying the closing gap between them. “Are you asking all this just to get an answer about what happened my ex-husband?”  

“... Is it working?”  

She threw up her hands in the air in exasperation. “Ugh, you’re impossible.”  

The monster grinned, settling back into his seat. Perhaps he was a little too gung-ho in his approach, but he was glad to have not lost his touch with disturbing the woman at least. She stood up from the couch, glancing at the clock, reminding her of an errand she had to do. “I’m going to go buy groceries, the boys are doing their homework upstairs, so that should give me enough time to get back before they do anything crazy.”  

His grin fell into a thin line from her announcement. He was not able to get anything out of his scheme with Frank, but he still had to find some way to get the ingredients he needed to cook for the two kids. His eyes followed her to the door, watching as she placed the strap of a small purple purse around her shoulder. With lightning quick movement, he stealthily took frantic steps behind her, making sure to not make a sound, but when her hand wrapped around the doorknob, she tensed up, feeling his presence behind her.  

“What are you doing?”  

The monster leaned against the wall, doing his best to look as inconspicuous as possible. “Nothing. Nothing at all.”  

She stared at him for a few more seconds, suspicion gnawing at the back of her head, but instead of indulging him, she swung the door open and slammed it shut. Not even bothering to lock the front door, she darted to the car, throwing herself into the driver’s seat, and shoving her key in the ignition. The vehicle roared to life, but she refused to allow it any time to rest, shifting gears, and backing out of the driveway like a speeding bullet. She didn’t stop until she got to a red light, giving her the time needed to check around the inside of her, making sure there wasn’t a cannibalistic lemon monster hiding somewhere. Lila allowed a sigh of relief to leave her lips. She was honestly glad to just be rid of him even for just a short lapse of time. Maybe now she can relax and-   

Her breathe hitched, spotting several sharp nails piercing the roof of her car. Was that bastard seriously clinging to it? What the hell did he want?! She released a frustrated huff, tapping a finger against the wheel, waiting for the signal color to switch. The second it changed, she stomped on the pedal, jerking the caw forwards that was far beyond the speed limit. His body shifted above her; she knew he was probably smiling like an idiot, and just as quickly as she sped up, she pressed on the brakes. The monster propelled from his spot, his head landing on the hood of her car, and rolling to the ground with a groan.   

She waited for five seconds before his face rose, rubbing a sore bump on top of his head. “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”  

Lila pointed a thumb to the passenger seat. “Get in.”  

“So now you want to-”  

“NOW!”  

She was surprised with how fast he complied.

Speeding past the speed limits allowed her to arrive at the mall in shorter time than usual. She felt annoyed, but it was quite cathartic to hurt him. As they walked together inside, curiosity got the better of her. “You know, you could have asked me to come if you really wanted to.”  

“With the look on your face? I could tell you were ready to say no to anything I would have asked.”  

“Fair point,” she admitted. “But what do you need here anyways?”  

“... Some personal things.”  

Lila rolled her eyes, opening the door, and stepping outside. She didn’t know why he was being so secretive, but he could keep his secrets for all she cared. She latched onto a shopping cart, and begin to browse the breakfast aisle. They were running out of Skid’s favorite cereal at home, and she wanted to make sure he had enough before school.   

“Why are the humans staring me?”  

Lila looked up from the cereal box in her hands, surprised by the stares and hushed whispers surrounding him. A smirk found its way to her lips, producing a worried frown from the monster. It was never good for him when she smiled.  

“Did you forget? You’re a hero now.”  

Something warm crept up his cheeks as he pointed an accusing claw at her. “I swear on my life I am going to kidnap those kids again and then I will-”  

The monster felt a pair of hands tug on his pants. His head swiveled down to meet the gaze of a small girl in a blue blouse and shoes. “Are you Mr. Lemon? My big sister keeps talking about how a spooky lemon saved her.”  

“What? I wasn’t trying to save her, I was-”  

“Woah, is that the thing from the news?!” Another voice rose, this time from an adult woman pointing at him.  

“He looks scary.”  

“Thank you for saving my kids!”  

“Can I have an autograph?!”  

The humans began to huddle around him, and suddenly the monster didn’t feel like he was a predator anymore to these people. “C-could you help me, please?”  

“Mm, nah, I still have groceries to buy.” She began walking away, waving at him as she moved to the next aisle. “Good luck~”  

“DON’T LEAVE ME WITH THEM!”  

But his voice was drowned out by the adoring crowd.  

Lila was in a much better mood than before, hell she’d even argue that it’s the best she’s felt in weeks. Not only was the monster getting his just desserts, but because of his appearance drawing the attention of all the shoppers, she barely had to wait in line to check out her items. Twenty minutes was a new record for her!  

She walked to her car, bags of groceries in each hand, and humming the spooky month theme song. Her eyes widened in surprise, spotting the monster waiting for her with his own set of bags in his claws. What seemed off about him was the satisfied smile he greeted her with, as if she didn’t abandon him to his demise just minutes ago.  

She cleared her throat, “I see you made it out alive.”  

“No, thanks to you, but it wasn’t all bad.” He lifted the bags up to his shoulders, shaking them with glee. “A lot of those humans gave me free food as thanks, can you imagine that? Those idiots were content in chucking their meals at me.”  

“I’m glad you still enjoy taking things from people,” she sighed, opening the trunk. “You and I both got what we wanted in the end, so let’s go home. I have to check in on the boys.”  

“But before we go, what are these?” The monster thrusted several slips of paper to her, each with different telephone numbers. “Some of the human women and men gave off an odd smell, and gave me these. I can’t eat it, so I don’t know what to do with them.”  

Lila studied the slips, and couldn’t believe her eyes. The lemon man somehow managed to get a total of seven different telephone numbers, some even had lipstick markings all over them. She snorted, waving them in front of his face. “These people were really hungry for you, Mr. Lemon.”  

He blinked, unused to being teased by her, but continued his inquiry. “Eat me? You don’t mean... in  that  way?”  

“Yep, they were definitely way into you,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows. “You planning to let them eat you any time soon?”  

His reaction surprised her, his face turning into a deep shade of red as he shook his head profusely. “I’d only contact them if it means I'd get to kill them all, slowly and painfully!”  

“I think a lot of them would be into that.”  

The monster wanted to sink into his seat and disappear.  

Two speeding blurs bombarded them as they entered the home. “Mom! Me and Pump finished our homework!”  

“It would have been better if we burned it like last time!”  

“Pump, don’t say things like that, you’re going to sound like Mr. Lemon,” Lila chastised.  

“And what’s wrong with that?” The monster chuckled, patting Pump’s head in approval. “We could all use a little chaos in our lives.”  

“You mean spooky stuff?” Skid chimed in.  

“... Sure,” he smoothly replied, carrying his bags to the kitchen. “I’m going to leave my ingredients in your fridge, I’ll be back for it later.”  

He said it so nonchalantly, Lila was starting to worry he was going to begin thinking this is his home. Skid and Pump glanced at each other, disappointed their friend was leaving so soon. “Later? Where are you going?”  

“Just visiting an old friend of mine, nothing special. In fact, I’ll be back before you boys even sleep,” he stated, lying through his teeth. The individual in question will most likely take some time to even persuade into a conversation, but he didn’t have the time to deal with their complaints.  

“On the off chance you do come back after we’re all asleep, I am not leaving anything unlocked for you.” Lila fixed him with a distrustful stare. “You are not going to get in tonight, got it?”  

He walked past them, a lazy wave of his claw dismissing her warnings. “Yeah, yeah, don’t worry I’ll find a way to get in if all your doors or windows are locked.”  

“I just said-”  

The door closed, shutting their voices away from his ears. They were a fun bunch, but he technically wasn’t lying about needing to talk to someone. A lot of what the purple haired woman told him piqued his interest tonight, and he was starting to realize that love may not be as black and white as he thought. However, she guarded her secrets, and even if he tortured her again, he somehow doubted they would ever spill from her lips. The stars twinkled down onto him, and he could feel them watching his movement as he began his walk to the house on the hill.   

Eyes definitely knew he was coming.  

The closer he got, the closer the stars seemed to be. To this day he wasn’t sure how the demon’s abilities worked, but having lived in The End for an indescribable amount of time had left him apathetic to most of its effects.  

Still, he couldn’t but feel a tad afraid. The only reason Eyes didn’t kill him last time was because of the kids, but without them who knows what could go down.  

But damn it his curiosity needed to be sated!  

Upon reaching the top of the hill, an eerie glow illuminated him, nearly blinding him as he tried his best to shield his eyes from it. The ground beneath him shook, and he could feel something digging deep beneath the dirt. The monster sighed, already knowing what it was and lowered his arms in surrender. An enormous tentacle rose to greet him, wrapping itself around him in a tight grip before dragging him down to the pits below. Dirt and grime got caught in his eyes and mouth, but while it stung, the pit in his stomach continued to bloom as he traveled closer to his destination.  

“WELL. WELL. LOOK WHO’S BACK.”  He didn’t appear to have malicious intentions, at least he didn’t think so. It was hard to decipher emotions from Eyes; his grotesque figure made it impossible to do.  “AND WITHOUT EVERYTHING WITH YOU. NOW THAT IS A BOLD MOVE FROM A WEAKLING SUCH AS YOURSELF.”  

The monster did his best to formulate his next words carefully, his life depended on it.  

“Say, Eyes, we’re friends, right?”  

“TO THAT CHILD, MAYBE.”  The tentacle coiled tighter against his chest, making it difficult to breath.  “BUT TO ME YOU ARE VERMIN. WHY DID YOU COME?”  

“I-I just came with some questions is all!!” he sputtered.  

Air slowly filtered back into lungs as Eyes’s many tentacles shifted around him,  “THE STARS HAVE BEEN WATCHING. I HAVE SOME INCLINATION OF WHAT YOUR HEART DESIRES, BUT I WANT SOMETHING IN RETURN.”  

“... Fine, name your price.”  

“NO.”  The room shook with his disproval.  “YOU FIRST. THEN WE NAME OUR PRICE.”  

That was a major red flag and the monster knew it, but he didn’t have many options left but to comply. “I want to know more of the woman’s man-meat.”  

“I FIGURED AS MUCH.”  A beat of silence passed as Eyes closed his in contemplation.  “HE WAS A FAVORITE OF MINE. NOT THE FIRST TO TAKE UP THE MANTLE TO LEAD, BUT HE WAS THE MOST DEVOTED. EVEN WHEN MET WITH TEMPTATION, HE POURED ALL OF HIMSELF TO ME AND ME ALONE.”  

The monster had never seen such a serene expression on the powerful demon, it almost creeped him out. “But he had a child with that purple haired woman.”  

“YES, HE DID.”  The orbs widened slightly, keeping them glued to the monster’s bewildered stare.  “I GAVE HIM A TEST. IN RETURN FOR A SACRIFICE HE COULD ASCEND TO THE NEXT PLANE OF EXISTENCE AND JOIN ME BY MY SIDE, BUT A SACRIFICE HAS TO MEAN SOMETHING. I TOLD HIM HE COULD PICK ANYTHING OF IMPORTANCE TO SACRIFICE, AND HE CHOSE HIS FIRSTBORN CHILD.”  

The dots connected in the monster’s head, painting the scenario in his head like a film, but there was one piece of the puzzle that was missing. “I spoke to her. I think she loved him, but she loved the boy more.”  

“SHE DID.”  

“But did he... reciprocate her feelings?”  

The demon smirked,  “I SAID HE WAS THE MOST DEVOTED DIDN’T I? IT IS A SHAME, BUT THAT HUMAN NEVER STOOD A CHANCE AT WINNING HIS HEART OVER HIS IDEALS.”  

“... Damn.”  

“INDEED.”  

“But she’s so strong and –” he snarled, not being able to understand their relationship. “- did he really not love her even a little?”  

“IF HE DID, HE DID NOT SHOW IT.”  

“... Wow.”  

“I WOULD HAVE KILLED HER TOO FOR WHAT SHE’S DONE, BUT I WAIT FOR THE DAY THE EVERYTHING CHILD MATURES TO ADULTHOOD.”  Finished with his tale, the Eyes of the Universe shook him once.  “ANYTHING ELSE?”  

“Yeah, quit sending nightmares about her to my head! I know you found it so amusing that she caved my skull in, but it’s getting annoying!”  

A brief pause.  “BUT I NEVER INVADED YOUR MIND AS OF LATE.”  

The monster deflated, feeling smaller than ever. “Oh, you didn’t huh?”  

Eyes roared with laughter, multiple tentacles vibrating with vigor movement.  “I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN A WEAKLING LIKE YOU WOULD FEAR A MERE HUMAN!”  

“W-wait, it’s not-”  

“OR WAIT-”  he brought the monster closer to his face.  “ARE YOU PERHAPS INFATUATED WITH THE WOMAN?”  

“WHAT?!” He roared, shocked by the suggestion. “I WOULD NEVER! NOT WITH HER!”  

“THEN WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT HER BEING ‘STRONG’.”  

His mouth clamped shut. Truth be told he didn’t know why he said she was strong, he never thought of the human in such a way.  

“WHAT’S WRONG? GETTING ALL SHY OVER SOME MEAT?”  

Angry beyond belief, his jaw unhinged, sinking his teeth into the tentacle that was holding him, but instead of getting the reaction he wanted, he only received chuckles in response to his actions.  “LEAVE THIS PLACE. I HAVE HAD MY FUN WITH YOU TONIGHT.”  

His vision was blinded by pure light. It was so pretty, and warm. Eyes beginning to close, he thought of how enticing it would be to touch and feel that light.  

“SAY HI TO EVERYTHING FOR ME.”  

Opening his Eyes was painful, but at least he wasn’t in The End. Eyes had dragged his unconscious body to the foot of the hill, leaving him alone for now. His claws dusted his coat off, but his mind was elsewhere; distracted by all the new information he had been given. What the hell was he even going to use this for? He was better off not knowing about the tragedy of the human’s love life.   

Sighing in resignation, he began his trek back to his home – their home. He’s been there so many times his head is having trouble correcting itself. The monster mulled over what Eyes had told him, and part of him couldn’t believe it, but if there was one thing he wasn’t it was a liar. He’s met many human couples before, but this one...  

His footsteps stopped, nearly passing their home due to his attention being elsewhere. The lights were off inside meaning they were probably asleep. A shame that he had to break in now to get his food. He took a sharp right, taking a route around to get behind the home. Peering up, he could see one window with its curtains drawn, most likely her room. A smile found its way onto his face, taking this as an opportunity to scare her. His claws found their way to a pipe next to the window and began to ascend up to his destination.   

Quietly popping the window open, he slithered in, closing it as gently as he could without making a sound. She was on her side, blankets thrown onto the floor with her back turned. The monster tippy toed next to her bed, looming over her with his beady eyes staring down at the sleeping form, pondering his next step. However, his head traversed back to what Eyes had told him.  

His grin fell, and suddenly he didn’t want to disturb her. What was this? Pity? Why did he pity her? She was the one who stabbed him multiple times, so why should he feel bad if her husband chose a demonic figure over his family? Her shoulders moved an inch, causing him to tense up, but realized that the movement was from her body shivering. She was cold without anything covering her. She looked weak like that. She shouldn’t be that way. He should do something...  

A blanket was drawn over her shoulders, ceasing the shivers slightly. He looked down at his claw, not entirely sure why he did what he just did. It was almost like instinct, but not the bloody type that he prefers. He gazed down at her again, feeling something warm creep up his cheeks, but shook his head to clear his thoughts.   

“Goodnight,” he whispered, leaving the room as fast as he could.  

Underneath the pillow was a hand holding tightly onto a silver dagger.  

Her eyes were wide open.  

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, he heard some noises in the kitchen. The sounds of bags moving around reaching his ears. A thirst for blood reinvigorated his veins. If it was a robber, he would happily kill them in “self-defense."   

But what was in the kitchen was not a robber trying to take their possessions, but a boy in pajamas rummaging through his bags of food. “Skid?”  

Skid slowly turned around, rubbing his eye. “Mr. Lemon?”  

“What are you doing with my food?”  

“I’m sorry...” he responded slowly, not fully awake. “I wanted some water, but I also wanted to see what you got with mom from the store.”  

“That’s not for you to see,” he responded, closing the fridge. “That’s for something else.”  

“Mm... fiine,” he grumbled, walking past the monster. “Goodnight, Mr. Lemon.”  

Skid took two steps before his face met the wall, nearly toppling him to the ground. “Ow.”  

The monster almost laughed, and before he could stop himself, he said, “Want me to carry you back?”  

Skid turned around, fully awake and with starry look in his eyes. “Can you, please?”  

God damn it how is he supposed to say no to a face like that? Not sure of how to carry a child, he put both claws on Skid’s waist, lifting him up, and allowing the child’s body weight to rest on his chest with one arm under him and the other to pat his back. Skid closed his eyes, and rubbed his cheek against his warm spooky friend.   

Opening the door to his bedroom was difficult, but he managed with his foot. He carefully placed the boy onto the bed and pulled the blankets over his tiny body. The monster coughed, suddenly finding the ceiling interesting. “Well, goodnight. I’m going to go and-”  

“Can you stay until I sleep, Mr. Lemon?” Skid asked with one eye open to peer at him. “I sleep faster when someone is around.”  

He sighed, but complied; his boots remaining on as he laid down next to the boy. Skid rolled over next to him, hugging his waist. The monster awkwardly wrapped an arm around him to bring him closer, praying he would fall asleep instantly so he could stop feeling so wishy washy.  

“Mr. Lemon?”  

“Mm?”  

“Can you sing a song for me? A nice one and not one about killing people.”  

“You’re asking for a lot,” he was feeling drowsy now. It’s been so long since he last slept this comfortably. “Violence is all I have ever known. My songs reflect that.”  

“... Can you learn one?”  

He yawned, his eyes fully closing. “For you? Maybe I will.”  

“Thanks.”  

“Don’t tell your mother, though.”  

The last thing he heard was the boy giggling before sleep took over.  

Chapter Text

The monster was awake, and could feel the sun’s rays shining down onto his eyelids, but he didn’t bother opening them. He hadn’t slept this good in such a long time. No nightmares of purple haired women stabbing his eyes out invaded his mind, granting him a much needed respite of all the stress he had accumulated. A grumble escaped his mouth, readjusting himself and bringing Skid closer to his side.  

The sound of a camera clicking went off.  

That alerted his fight senses. Opening his eyes wide, his gaze met the sight of the boy’s mother staring at the two of them. Awestruck by what she saw, it took her two more clicks of the camera to notice the monster glaring at her, the tips of the stubs on the sides of his head turning into an embarrassing red.  

She smiled sweetly. “Good morning~”  

“What. Are. You. Doing.”  

He was trying desperately to come across as threatening, but it was futile when a small boy was snuggling against his side. “I came here to wake Skid up for school, and I found you cuddling with him instead. Really cute might I add.”  

“Mm?”  

Their conversation caused the boy to wake up from his slumber. Skid separated from his monstrous pillow, sitting up, and rubbing his eyes to rid himself of the drowsiness. The monster took this opportunity to scramble out of the bed, landing with a thud on the ground. It hurt, but it couldn’t compare to the embarrassment he felt in his heart. He couldn’t bear to look at that kid or woman anymore. Rolling himself over until finding himself under Skid’s bed, he felt somewhat better now. The darkness mellowing his modo down a tad.  

“... Morning, mom,” Skid whispered, taking notice of his mom standing in his room. He looked around, frowning at the disappearance of his friend. “Where is Mr. Lemon?”  

The lemon creature squinted his eyes at the feet of the mother who hummed in response. She was going to rat him out, wasn’t she? That human loved to make him miserable for some reason. He’ll get her back for this – for everything he endured! He would make her life ten times worse than he did when they first met! Trying to kill her and her son? Hah! That was just the tip of the iceberg! She better watch her-  

“Mr. Lemon had some errands to do, sweetie,” she said, sitting next to her son, and placing a kiss on his cheek. “I’m sure he will be back after school.”  

His rage softened, relief washing over him. She covered for him. That was... kind of her.  

“Aw, okay. He was really nice yesterday.” Skid jumped down and landed on his feet. “I’m gonna go brush my teeth for school, maybe I can bring some food from the cafeteria for him!”  

Lila laughed, “I’m sure he would appreciate that, sweetie.”  

Her son ran out of the room, his usual vigor back in just a short time. A few seconds passed before the monster revealed himself, and dusting himself off as if nothing ever happened. “Why did you do that?”  

She shrugged, yawning with her hand over her mouth. “You seemed so shy all of a sudden, I felt bad for you, but if I’m being honest -” her eyes met his, a certain mirth to them. “- it’s kind of fun making you squirm.”  

The manner in how she said that, it made something in his chest  tingle.  It felt familiar, similar to how his senses would prick his heart with tremors of adrenaline, but this was different. They weren’t engaging in a fight, so why did he feel so – so fuzzy inside?  

He took note of her thin lips opening and closing, studying the method in which they moved. Were her lips always this delicious looking?  

“Hello? Anybody in there?”  

Coming back to his senses, he turned to her tired gaze. “What is it?”  

“You’ve been staring at me with this creepy look on your face for the past minute,” she shuddered, rubbing her arms. “You were even drooling, I thought you were going to try to eat me again.”  

Unfortunately for her, the action made him notice her bare skin; there was so much more of it than usual in the tank top she was wearing. That was weird, he’s dreamt of skinning her alive before, but nothing like this. His fingers twitched, lifting just an inch to follow the desires in his head and touch her -   

NO!  

He bit down on his tongue. Ferociously. Blood spilled from his wet tongue, and he happily guzzled his own life essence back down his throat. What he didn’t predict was the bright red liquid to splash onto the human’s face as well. She closed her eyes, inhaling through her nose and exhaling out. She looked so annoyed, he nervously chuckled, clicking his nails together.   

“Er, sowwy?”  

She stood up, wiping his blood off with the palm of her hand. “I’ll be taking my son to school and go straight to work after that. You focus on going back to your house.”  

“My house?”  

“You don’t live here,” she stated bluntly with a shake of her head, leaving the room without a goodbye. His shoulders slumped, shame ringing throughout his body. The blood wasn’t even tasty anymore and he couldn’t decipher why. She technically wasn’t wrong, this place was not his home, but he had gotten so comfortable here that going back to that dim place felt odd to think about.  

His head hung low, he crawled under the bed once again to mull over his thoughts. Skid entered the room only once – grabbing his backpack as he yelled at his mother that he was ready before dashing out the door again. He listened intently for the clicking of locks being placed, and the roar of the car engine outside, signifying their leave of the premises. The monster waited a minute longer to make sure they had truly left before slithering out from under the bed.  

Slowly walking downstairs to the kitchen, his eyes trailed the several hanged pictures of the two humans on the walls. Their smiles mocked him, showing him several images of sentiments he could never have. The monster scowled, shaking his head and continuing his path to the kitchen. He’s made peace with the fact he would never be a participator of such things – it's why he took to stalking humans so much.  

What happened last night with the boy was a fluke.  

And the woman...  

He could not blame her for hating him at this point. Whatever those thoughts he had of her were best locked away in the furthest reaches of his mind, and forgotten about. Taking out his bagged groceries from the fridge, he set them on the counter. Perhaps the boy’s mother would never take a liking to him, but he did owe the runt for saving his life. This would be the last thing he did for the boy and he will be able to call it even between the two of them.   

Flour, milk, eggs, butter, sugar, salt, oils, lemon juice, almond extract, vanilla extract, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda. Two baking pans, cooking spray, mixing bowls, whisker, frosting bag. All carefully assembled and locked out of sight, ready for today. His fans had given him instructions for a sweet assembly of delight that would be sure to knock the socks off of Skid.   

He began stirring the yeast and milk in a bowl, his dejected mood lifting slightly as he focused on the task. After that, he let it rest for a minute, reading the instructions one of the human women had written for him. Then, he added flour, sugar, salt, eggs into the bowl with the yeast and milk. The writing mentioned the use of an electric mixer, but he was a traditional cook, and decided to instead beat the mixture himself thoroughly. His torso was drenched in the batter, but he was always messy anyways. When the dough was completed, he smiled, knowing it was all coming together.   

Now it was time for the cream filling. Moving on to two smaller bowls with sugar, flour, and salt in his claws. A rhythm began to build in his soul, swaying his body left and right as he cracked two eggs in one bowl.  

“I’m just so dissatisfied. Pretending to be dignified~”  

Blending the mixtures together until it became thick and pasty, he then placed a saucepan onto the stove, warming the milk until he saw bubbles forming around the edges.  

“All I want is to feel alive. Tender meat to thrive on~”  

After that, he removed the saucepan from the heat and carefully drizzled the warm milk into the egg mixture while whisking constantly. Then scraped the egg mixture back into the saucepan. His claws whisked constantly, always making sure the liquid would thicken to perfection.  

“You can’t fight nature, nor the pleasure of red water~”  

When the cream became thick and glossy and it no longer had foam on top, he removed the saucepan from the heat as fast as possible. He poured the white cream filling through a sieve that he set over a small bowl. Once finished sieving the cream, he whisked it in some vanilla a parent had given him. With the process done, he shoved the bowl of cream into the fridge.  

“I am now how I need to stay. Never want anything to change~”  

The monster took the prepared dough from the refrigerator, ensuring it was placed on a well-floured work surface. After that, he rolled the dough into a square using a rolling pin. It felt nice having tools to use instead of his claws and face.  

“And by the end of this story, you can stay with your smiles, and I will stay with mine~”  

Shaping the dough with his claws was the fun part, giggling as he did so, imagining how the boy’s eyes would beam at seeing the surprise. It wasn’t human barbeque, but it would not be half bad for something humanly made. He placed the items in the oven, watching the puffy shapes rise in height.  

“I’ll be happier than all of you. And when you grow old and wrinkly -”  

While waiting for his masterpiece to bake completely, he took the heavy cream from the fridge, beating it once again with a whisk. Electric mixers were for the weak. Afterward, he stirred with a spoon to loosen it up, and folded the remaining whipped cream until there were no longer any visible white streaks.  

“- I’ll eat forever~”  

Lastly, using a sharp nail, he poked holes in each of his baked items, and filled them with the white cream filling.  

“Eat forever~”  

“Be forever...”  

Lila sighed, not knowing what she was going to cook for dinner with the boys. At least with the monster gone that would mean on less plate to worry about. That man could tear through her fridge in seconds. She parked the car, glancing back at the two boys in the back. “Why don’t you two head upstairs and start on your homework while I cook something up for us?”  

“Okay, mom!”  

“Okay, miss mom!”  

She giggled, opening the door, and going through each key to find the key to the house. It was nice knowing everything was going to back to normal – as normal as their lives could be at least. Call her boring, but that was what she wanted most out of life with Skid.   

Her world came crashing down when opened the door, revealing a lemon shaped head staring back at her. “GAH!”  

“Gah? That’s a strange way of greeting someone,” he responded with an offended tone. His entire body was drenched in flour, eggshells, and some type of cream?  

“I thought I told you to -”  

“Mr. Lemon!”  

Skid and Pump rushed past her, hugging his legs. For his part, he wasn’t annoyed anymore by their affection, only raising a single digit to address them. “Just the brats I wanted to see! You know, I got something special cooked up for you.”  

Pump looked up, a wide smile on his face. “Really? You made something for us?”  

“Mhm,” he confirmed, flicking his forehead, inadvertently getting an eggshell stuck in his hair. “Go on to the kitchen and feast your heart’s content.”  

“W-wait!” Lila interjected before their small legs could run to the kitchen. They were eager to taste what their friend had cooked, but listened to her, staring worriedly at her. “Uh, wash your hands first before you eat anything kids, remember?”  

They both groaned, but nodded. “Sorry mom, we forgot.”  

“We’ll be back, Mr. Lemon!” Pump exclaimed, following Skid to the bathroom.  

Watching them retreat, he took notice of the lavender haired woman glaring at him. “What? I didn’t do anything wrong... this time.”  

“Didn’t do anything wrong?” She repeated, enunciating each word slowly. “I told you to get out of my house and instead you used my kitchen to cook?! Who did you kill? Was it anyone I know? Oh God, how am I going to clean it off and -”  

“Actually, I made doughnuts.”  

“You made what?”  

“Doughnuts,” he said, almost gleefully. “Come, I made several.”  

She followed him to the kitchen. If it wasn’t for the monster’s presence, she would have thought a tornado had torn the place apart. All types of different mixtures decorated the counter and the wall; bowls were strewn about, two of them somehow being upside down on the floor. Aside from the mess, in the middle of the kitchen table were the fluffy doughnuts he spoke of, covered with layers of sugar on top with an alluring smell to them.  

He took one in his claws, waving it side to side inches from her face. “Say ahhh~”  

Lila felt a faint flush reach her cheeks out of embarrassment, swiping the baked meal from his claw to his disappointment. She turned it upside down, checking for any gore or questionable bits. She glanced at the monster for a second, only to look down at the donut again due to his puppy-like eyes gazing at her.   

She licked her lips, and hesitantly took a bite. It was warm, clearly just out of the oven. They were  crisp, a little crunchy from the sugar, but what made her tastebuds soar  was the interior; light and fluffy, almost like a pillow. She had to fight down a moan as she swallowed, if only to not give the fiend before the satisfaction.  

But it was too late. He laughed watching her reaction, “I see you loved it. That’s good, that means the boys will enjoy it ten times more.”  

She opened her mouth to contradict him, but he was right. Her kids were going to love the hell out of this. “Where did you learn to make this? I didn’t think you can cook these kinds of things other than stuff with intestines.”  

“Hmph, don’t insult me. I’ve cooked all my life, you humans just have lower standards when it comes to food.” The monster popped an entire doughnut into his maw, swallowing it one gulp. “But if you must know, one of those humans from the store gave me the recipe for this. It’s not meat, but I suppose it isn’t half bad.”  

“... You made this for them, didn’t you?”  

His posture fell slightly, “No, why would you assume that?”  

Lila rolled her eyes. “I’m not stupid, you’ve been obsessed with getting this stuff since yesterday and you definitely didn’t do this for me.”  

“I don’t care for them if that’s what you’re thinking,” he grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. “Ever since that night we clashed, I felt I owed them a debt for... accepting me, and in doing so – stopping you. Cooking is a talent I rarely use for anyone besides myself. After this, I owe them nothing, and I will be out of your hair as you wished.”  

She couldn’t help, but catch a hint of dejection creeping into his tone. It was difficult to tell, with his eyes bouncing around everywhere, except for her. Lila leaned with her back against the counter. She felt she was going to regret what she was going to say next, but went with what her gut told her to. “I’m sorry about this morning.”  

That got his attention, his head swiveling back to her. “What?”  

“The whole ‘you don’t live here’ thing. Sorry.” It was her turn to glance away from his eyes, focusing on the doughnuts instead. “You can say what you want, I know you care about my son and his friend. You wouldn’t have done what you did last night if you didn’t.” He didn’t have a response to that, allowing her to continue, “I’m... grumpy without my coffee in the morning, and you can be a little too much at times, so that’s why I told you to leave when you got weird with the tongue biting.”  

It was silent for a minute, the room feeling smaller than ever with just the two of them.  

“... - rry”  

Lila furrowed her brow questionably at him. “What did you say?”  

“Don’t make me say it again.”  

A smirk. She loved when he got like this. “Well, I didn’t hear you, so you’re going to have to say it again.”  

“I said I was sorry too, okay!” He shouted, barely keeping his eyes open. “For all the... times I tried to kill ya.”  

She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. The monster apologizing to her? A laugh escaped her, causing the monster to stare at her as if she was insane. “What’s so funny?”  

“It’s nothing,” she said, wiping a tear from her eye. “You sounded so shy when saying that, I almost feel like you’re not the same lemon monster that tried to eat me.”  

“... Do not mention this to anyone.”  

She raised her hand, making a motion of sealing her lips shut and throwing away the key. “You secret is safe with me.”  

He tore his eyes away from her, feeling a weight being lifted off his shoulders from their shared apology. That was – until he felt her soft hand rest on his arm, sending a fierce tingle up the limb.  

“And you don’t have to distance yourself from them,” she whispered, her warm eyes forcing several torrents of butterflies down his stomach. “They love you, and I think I can trust you with them from what I’ve seen from you recently.”  

His mouth felt dry, and all he could do in that moment was nod dumbly, his cheeks too hot to form communication.  

“Mom! We washed our hands!”  

“What did Mr. Lemon cook?”  

Her hand left his arm, relieving his body of her mystical touch, and yet, his heart was still beating rapidly, watching her lead them to the table. “Over here, kids! He’s made us some tasty doughnuts!”  

Skid waved at him from the table, “Thanks so much!”  

Pump had already shoved one in his mouth, “Mfff trhankj Mr. Lewrmon!”  

“Pump, don’t chew with your mouth full,” she scolded, taking another doughnut from the pile.  

The monster watched the display, happy to have done his part, but dreaded what his heart was feeling.   

Why was she making him feel like this?  

“Do you have to leave?” Skid whined from the door.  

“Yep,” the monster adjusted his hat, his smile directed to the pale moonlight. “You two are fun, but even I have things I need to tend to.”   

Pump brough a finger to his chin, “when can we see you again then?”  

He winked. “On spooky month.”  

“SPOOKY MONTH!” they both yelled, and danced wildly before Lila coughed behind them.  

“Okay kids, say goodbye to your friend, you still have school tomorrow.”  

“Goodbye, Mr. Lemon!”   

“See you on spooky month!”  

He waved back, watching the door close before uttering a low, “bye.”  

The monster collapsed in a heap on the grass, clutching his chest where his heart should be, a manic expression in his eyes, and his face as red as a tomato. He couldn't believe it; Eyes was right. That woman’s laugh, her smile, her kindness, her scent, her hair – everything about her was driving him crazy. It had been so long since he felt these feelings for a human, and he wanted her for himself. But why her? Why, why, why.  

Damn her and those kids for ruining him.  

He laid on the grass, tormented with his thoughts.  

She wasn't expecting to end the night on a sweet note, but she wasn’t to complain. With Skid and Pump busy doing their homework, and the monster gone, she could finally focus on finishing one of her novels. She took the book out, but before she opened the cover, she stopped herself, glancing upstairs to her room. The monster’s actions reminded her of a certain item she had stored away. She supposed now was a good time to take it out.  

When she opened the door to her bedroom, she got on all fours, reaching a hand under the bed to take out a small box with an emblem of a skull on the front with a small rusty key next to it. Opening it revealed a voodoo doll she used to practice witchcraft in her teens, and a picture of her and her ex-husband attending a sacrificial ceremony together, daggers in hand as they smiled at the camera. She ignored that photo, removing a book from the confines of the box. Blowing on it removed the collected dust over the years, revealing a red cover with the caption “ The Obsession”  at the top.  

Prior to leaving the cult, she loved reading about the occult or blood-curdling topics of the world. Cults, eldritch beings, and even serial killers were the top of her interests back then, and combined with her love of romantic tropes, it was difficult to find subjects to check all those boxes. This novel was given to her by her mother, and it focused on the tale a young woman who becomes the obsession of a serial killer. They fight, stab, maim, and bite one another – often in an attempt to take the other’s life, but in the end, somehow the novel weaved the two together into a strange, but fulfilling relationship.   

Not that she was getting any ideas. Her and the monster? That could never work, but watching him get along with her son invoked some need to reconnect with an old hobby.   

She sighed, laid on the bed, and opened the book to the first page.  

Chapter Text

God, Wednesdays sucked. Along with Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday. Fridays and Saturdays were the only good days of the week. Those were the only days she was able to get the day off from that damned hospital and the dozens of corpses she has to analyze – that is if they don’t call her in the middle of the day to return for the night shift. She’s then forced to look through the deceased’s history to see if they have any loved ones for them to claim. A shame most end up being cremated, anyways.  

She made the mistake of drinking before heading to work. Not a lot, just a shot of rum to get her nerves to calm down from all the stress, but combine that with sleep deprivation, and she was having trouble keeping her eyes open. What the hell was wrong with her? Sure, she wasn’t exactly a licensed doctor, but she should have the common sense to realize drinking that shot was not a good idea.   

Thankfully barely anyone was on the road at this time. A car or two passed by her, off to their own late-night jobs, just the same as her. Although, they probably weren’t dumb enough to drive while tipsy. The downside of the road being empty? It made her eyelids feel heavier. The headlights served their purpose to light the road ahead of her, but it also made her realize just how alone the road was. She was going at twenty – she could close her eyes for a second, right?  

Patty nodded, agreeing with the voice in her head, and slowly closed her eyes. She wasn’t unused to this feeling – when you’re so sleep deprived that closing your eyes feels as if you’re shutting it with a metal plate. So blissful and calm, she almost forgot she was driving...  

Wait, shit she WAS driving.  

She opened one eye, and an image of something yellow on the road lying face down was getting closer. The tires of her car rose – not once but twice as the tires ran across the person lying on the road and it was only then she realized her mistake. She shrieked, both eyes wide open as she slammed her foot onto the brakes.   

“Holy crap,” she breathed, not wanting to look back. “Holy shit, holy shit, holy balls, was that a person?!”   

She looked at the rear-view mirror, spotting the strange humanoid shape not even twitch or cry out in pain. It was resting there, as if nothing had happened to them. Patty took a deep breath, and stepped out of the vehicle, wanting to make sure whoever she ran over would be able to walk.  

“Hey, are you- WHAT THE FUCK!”  

Whatever she ran over was not human in the slightest. Its clothing resembled that of a human, but everything above the neck was an image from hell itself. His skull was shaped to the size of a lemon; it would have been somewhat endearing had it not included the ghastly number of pink tinted teeth and bloodshot eyes.  

With her outburst done, she noticed it hadn’t reacted to anything she had done or said. She took a closer look – making sure she wasn’t in arms reach of it, and looked into its eyes. It looked miserable – hell, it looked like her whenever she had to wake up to come to work. “Uh, a-are you okay?”  

His eyes flicked to her, “leave me alone, human,” he grumbled, turning his head to rest his cheeks on the floor. “Can’t you see I'm wallowing in my own pity?”  

“Yeah, but, your legs and arm are kind of -” she pointed to his broken limbs, one arm and leg bent in unnatural ways. “- They’re pretty messed up from my car.”  

The monster coughed up blood, spitting some of it near her shoes. “I think you broke my ribs too lady, but it’s okay.”  

Patty raised a brow in concern. “Uh, no, this is not okay, I just ran you over.”  

“Oh, human, you could never understand,” he sighed, pointing a bent claw to his chest. “This pain is nothing compared to the pain I here in this place.”  

She squinted, trying to gauge the location of the pain. “Your heart?”  

He nodded, squeezing the place of origin.  

“... Do you mean it literally or did you get dumped or something?”  

“Worse,” he spit out, gazing at the night sky. “I am in love. With a human of all things. To someone unreachable even to me.”  

She rolled her eyes, growing less worried for the lemon man she nearly killed, but her conscious wouldn’t allow for her to leave him here alone with his injuries. “You’re really hurt, so whether you want to or not, you’re coming with me to the hospital before the cops show up to arrest me.”  

“Do what you will,” he said, sounding almost like a child who didn’t want to visit the doctor. “Take all my pain away, but you will never take away this horrible madness in my chest.”  

“Whatever you say.” She wrapped both hands under his armpits, and rose, using her knees to support his weight, but as much as they tried to, she could barely move his body without them trembling. “Jesus, you’re heavier than you look.”  

The monster burped, his breath causing her eyes to water from the putrid smell. “I ate a lot of doughnuts lady, deal with it.”  

Patty dealt with it by shoving the injured monster into the backseat of her car – there was no gentleness to her method, she just pushed him and his broken limbs inside, and slammed the door shut. She winced, hearing his bones crunch even further inwards as he flopped onto the seat, but he didn’t complain. If anything, he seemed to be more comfortable with the cushion pressed against his back.  

Sitting back in the driver’s seat, she counted to ten before proceeding her path to the hospital again.   

It was going to be a long night.  

Arriving at the hospital was the easy part, getting him in was even easier. The attendant at the front desk didn’t even bother asking who it was she was bringing in an operating table. Then again, in retrospect the attendant never really even said hi to her either, but it was working in her favor tonight.  

Quickly putting on her surgical scrub over her pajamas and her cap over her messy hair, she burst through the doors of the lowest floor of the building, wheeling in her sort of patient into the room. Strapping on her gloves, and mask over her mouth, she brought a lamp over his eyes, causing him to hiss from the sudden light source.  

“Look, I'm supposed to apply an anesthetic for this, but I need to know if you will be okay with being subjected to it.”  

He blinked, looking around the room. “Wait, where am I?”  

“I ran you over, broke your bones, hospital, any of this ring a bell?” Patty rolled in a mask with a tube attached to it, tapping on the vials to check the dosage.  “Keep up, I have dead bodies to examine and papers to file.”  

“Ah, yes, the bones.” He used his unharmed claw to latch onto the bent arm, and pulled up to where it was supposed to be. It didn’t budge, causing a growl to form in his throat.  

Patty’s eyes widened realizing what he was doing. “Wait, don’t -”  

And then he used all his force to twist the dislocated limb back into place, the deafening cracking of the bone ringing throughout the room. She was used to seeing dead bodies up close, but the noise made her slightly wince, but he didn’t even so much as grunt, and began working on his twisted ankle.  

“You could have saved us both the trouble if you -”  CRUNCH  “- If you did this from the beginning.”  

A sigh escaped his teeth, flexing his fingers and toes to test their viability. “Actually, lady, you did in fact save us both the trouble by bringing me here. You’re a doctor, aren’t you?”  

“Uh, no, I'm just a morgue attendant, I don’t actually have a license to -”  

“But you cut into bodies, yes?”   

Patty sighed, rolling the anesthetic machine away with gentle shove. “Only when the coroner is here for an autopsy report. I mostly clean and keep these guys in their compartments.”   

“That will have to do.” The monster unfastened his coat, revealing his dark bare chest, and laying down on the metal table. “I want you to cut out my heart.”  

“Absolutely fucking not,” she said, glaring down at him. “I don’t know how your –  everything  works, but I am not contributing to your death by removing it.”  

The monster scoffed, “I won’t die from some measly heart removal! I will live, but I would rather continue living without my pathetic heart beating for a human!”  

“Sir, I -” She pinched the bridge of her nose, wondering how the hell she got here. “Look, that sounds like a personal problem, and I don’t have the time to deal with whatever you’re going through.”  

“Fine, I’ll do it myself.” The monster seized a scalpel from the metal tray next to him, stabbing it straight into his chest, and began the process of sawing his way through his skin.   

Her hands desperately grasped his claw, slapping the instrument onto the floor. “Stop, are you insane?! I’m not a surgeon, but you could kill yourself by doing that!”  

“Either I do it or you, your choice, doc.” He sneered, an evil glint in his eye. “Either way, I intend to rid myself of this insufferable heart.”  

She cursed, considering her options. She was already way behind on schedule, but he was not going to leave unless he got what he wanted. She wasn’t even trained for this! The woman always dreamt of becoming a surgeon, but she imagined working on human patients that needed her help, not some lemon headed thing who kept screaming about being in love.  

In the end, she picked up the scalpel off the floor, and a purple marker. “Fine, but I'm not giving you an anesthetic.”  

“That’s fine.” His eyes didn’t meet hers, reminiscing a certain memory in his head. “Another woman once stuck a knife in my eye. Hated it, but I have learned to appreciate that raw fury.”  

Patty shook her head in disbelief. “The girl you’re in love with stabbed you, and you liked it? You’re way more off the deep end than I thought.”  

His smile fell, horror stricken by his own words. “God, it’s worse than I thought. Quickly! Get rid of it!”  

“Yeah, yeah, I'm going,” she muttered, making a guess of where his heart was located, and marking several spots with a purple marker where the incisions would be made. “You sure you want to do this? There’s no going back after I do this.”  

“Worry about yourself, doc,” he growled, baring his teeth at her. “I can handle it, I just want these stupid feelings to go away.”  

She nodded, and prodded the skin gently. O pen-heart surgery requires opening the chest wall to make the heart easier for the surgeon to reach. To access the heart, surgeons cut through the sternum, and spread the ribs. In this situation, however, she had zero experience with the procedure, and her patient wasn’t even human. Plus, she was pretty sure she was skipping several procedures prior to opening the chest, but to hell with it.  

The scalpel dragged down the middle of his chest, parting away the skin. The only sound between them being his slow breathing and the hum of the air conditioner. That is, until she decided to make conversation. “You looked skinnier with the coat; I'm surprised at all the belly fat.”  

“Belly fat?” The monster tilted his head slightly up, noticing the growing lump of his stomach. “That’s strange. I usually lose it all after sleeping.”  

“What’s your diet?” Her scalpel clinked against his breastbone, and she wiped sweat off her brow. This was harder than it looked. “Eat a lot of junk lately?”  

“Mostly chicken broth, and meat... although I have eaten a lot of sweets lately.” He brought his claw to his chin in wonder. “I have not tasted human flesh in what feels like forever. Perhaps that has something to do it.”  

She paused, “You’ve eaten humans?”  

“Yes, and your kind are quite the delectable dishes might I add.” Memories of tearing through his victims resurfaced, quelling his soft emotions aside and giving rise to a hidden hunger. “I ate so many people, but now I’ve grown weak-willed to a child and his mother.”  

Patty nodded, digesting his words as she continued the operation. “It could be that transition of your diet that’s causing the weight gain. It’s used to calories off calories of humans, but doesn’t know what to do with normal food.”  

“Sounds reasonable enough.” He glanced at her, surprised at the nonchalant response, but she appeared too focused on what she was doing he didn’t comment on it. “By the way, are you almost done? My back is getting cold.”   

“Almost,” she whispered, peeling back the flesh to reveal his insides. It was oddly empty save for his ribs and his – his heart? No, it couldn’t be, it was far bigger than any heart she had ever seen, but there it was. Its shape was identical to the shape of his head, and it was beating profusely against his ribcage. “Why the hell is it glowing purple?”  

His cheeks flushed, “that’s the color of her hair.”  

She snickered at his embarrassment, but before he could protest, she put both of her gloved hands in his chest, preparing the extraction. A part of her was excited, feeling as if she was performing a heart transplant, but another part of her was nervous of the consequences of removing it. Nevertheless, she said she would, and detached the organ from it place, moving the ribs to the side.   

“The autopsy guys would have a field day with this thing,” she said, gazing amazingly at it. Even without being connected to her patient, it was still beating with life, brimming with the alluring lavender glow like an emerald. “Do you think I can keep this for now?”  

“...”  

Patty swiftly turned around, and gasped. He was motionless, his bloodshot eyes drained from its color and now just a pitch black. Not a single twitch to indicate he was alive. The worst had happened, he died, and it was her fault. “God - DAMN IT WHY DID I DO THIS! I SHOULDN’T HAVE DONE THIS! I NEVER EVEN TOUCHED AN ALIVE HEART LET ALONE A FUCKING LEMON! OH GOD I NEED TO HIDE THE BODY, INCINERATE THE EVIDENCE AND -”  

“Put me back.”  

She shrieked, dropping the body part onto the floor with a wet slap. The scared woman looked around, searching for the source of the voice. “Who was that?! It wasn’t me, I swear!”  

“Down here, idiot. ”  

Her focus slowly shifted back to the floor, the monster’s heart beating angrily. “Y-you’re speaking from the heart?”  

“Yeah, thanks for dropping me by the way!”  He exclaimed, rolling towards her until he bumped onto her shoe.  “Really fucking hurt to get dropped like that, doc.”  

“Sorry, sorry,”  she grabbed both sides of the beating organ, not wanting to drop him or it again. “Your body went completely comatose when I removed this. Does that mean your entire body’s systems all rely on this one organ? Could that explain its size? But you’re not even dead, you’re still alive somehow through this link between the heart and the body. Is it possible to -”  

“Shut up with your nerd talk, and put me back inside,”  he groaned, wiggling in her grasp.  “I feel small, and this feels weird, even for me.”  

“Right, on it.” Patty moved back to his body, using one hand to make space for his sizeable heart, and gently lowering him inside back his chest cavity. Immediately upon its arrival to its original place, several ligaments of flesh attached themselves around it, reinforcing themselves by injecting into it. Blood spurted, causing small droplets of blood to splash onto her mask, but she was too concentrated on the intricacies of his biology to care.   

His claws moved just once – the bloodshot color of his eyes returning to its normal state. A few seconds later, and he shot up, gasping heavily for air.   

“How do you feel?” she asked, forcing herself not to take notes in front of him.  

“My heart is burning now, but instead of love it's with pain,” he groaned, laying back down. “Note to self, never remove my heart.”  

She sighed, sitting back against her seat in contemplation. He needed to be sewn up and given time to heal, but not here. “Why don’t you just tell the girl you like how you feel?”  

“Why don’t you just tell the girl you like how you feel,” he repeated in a higher octave, glaring at her. “Have you looked at me once, lady? She is not going to go for someone of my nature. Besides, I have a rather... unpleasant history with her.”  

“Yeah, the whole stabbing thing clued me in on that.” She leaned forwards; hands clasped together. “I have a theory about your heart condition.”  

“Give it to me straight, doctor,” he whispered, fear set deep in his eyes. “Am I doomed to love a meaty beautiful human?”  

“I don’t know about all that, but I do believe that the size of it is directly linked to your emotions.”  

“But... I'm not supposed to have any of those.”  

“Shut up and listen,” she scolded, standing back up to pace back and forth. “When you describe your pain, I thought it was something sentimental – a personal issue, but from the way it glowed, how it responded to your... attachments. It could very well be that your heart increased due to these new sensations, and now you’re experiencing pain that could be described as heart palpitations.”  

The monster stared blankly at the blonde. “So, you’re saying feelings equal bad?”  

“No... well, yes, in your case it is, but it’s totally fine.” Patty paused, walking over to a sink, and using the faucet water to clean her instruments. “It’s not going to be what you want to hear, but in my professional opinion, if you tell that girl how you feel, then your heart will stop all that crazy spooky stuff. Probably.”  

He rapidly stood up, bits of his ribcage, and other innards falling onto the floor as he did so. “Where the hell do I even start? I’m used to taking what I want – now I have to play by her stupid rules.”  

“For starters, lay back down, I need to stich your chest closed before you lose any more of your organs, and two -” she coughed, trying to word what she was going to say gently. “- You need to take a bath. You reek of death.”  

“Thank you,” he bowed, humbled by her comment. “It’s difficult, but I try my best.”  

“No, that’s bad. No woman likes a guy who smells like they just came out of a morgue.” Patty chuckled at her own irony. “I know from experience.”  

The monster scoffed. “That’s because humans are picky with their standards, but I happen to think the morgue smell is wonderful. We shouldn’t have to change our best selves to fit in with the meatsacks.”  

“Very empowering.” She stated sarcastically. “But the meatsack you like -”  

“Love,” he interrupted.   

“Erm, yes, that... she would probably like you back more if you didn’t smell like a pile of corpses.”  

He threw up his arms in exasperation. “What do you suggest? That I take a bath and cleanse myself of the odor I worked so hard to achieve?” The deadpan stare she gave him was enough for him to shake his head in refusal. “Eyes himself could be threatening me right now and I still wouldn’t get in a tub of  clean  water.”  

“Dude, do you want this girl to like you or not?”  

He winced, looking down at his feet sheepishly. “Yes.”  

“Then taking a bath is the minimum you can do.” She gathered a box of distinguishable tools, shuffling them around – away from his view. “Come on, it’s not that hard.”  

“Easy for you to say,” he muttered, feeling queasy from the thought of water and soap mixing together against his body. It didn’t sound like a good time, but if there was one thing he was sure of – he was not going to use her house for that; too suspicious. “I will take up your offer and bathe in your house then, doc.”  

“Woah, woah,” she turned, pointing a needle at him. “I’m only offering advice here, you’re the one wooing this girl, not me!”  

The monster rushed her, his eyes an inch away from her own. “We’re friends now, doctor,” he spit out – his breath almost sending her hurling back. “We’re two treads of the same stitch, and you’re going to help me get these – these emotions under control, whether you like it or not.”  

She shuddered, nodding her head rapidly. “U-understood, b-but speaking of stitches, let’s uh – let’s get that chest of yours stitched?” He didn’t move, watching her suspiciously. “Please?”  

He laughed, causing multiple pieces of his flesh splash onto her uniform as he patted her head. “Thank you, doctor.”  

After she stitched him up, he had wanted to immediately leave to do as she suggested, but Patty had to inform him that his procedure had interrupted her work schedule – one that she was very behind on because of him. She expected him to not care, and drag her to her car, but instead he resorted to complaining about it as he helped her drag the bodies to their proper assigned places after she was done examining them. She caught him nibbling on some limbs once or twice, but if she was being honest with herself – she was too exhausted to care if some of the bodies went missing.  

Besides, it might calm him down to eat some from the way his mood switched from jolly, hungry, or downright grumpy.  

She finished quicker than usual with his help, which was odd considering the number of times she had to tell him not to slam the bodies as he manhandled them from place to place. Arriving back to her home was normally something she would be celebrating about, but how can she now with a lovesick lemon man walking beside her?  

“I’ll go set up the bathtub,” she yawned, hoping it would give her time to separate from the monster. She turned to him, but quickly closed her eyes as he began to undress his coat and pants in front of her. “What the hell?! Couldn’t you have waited until we get to the bathroom?!”  

“You worry your head too much, friend.” Now fully naked, he paced around her living room, his claws lingering on photos of unfamiliar people with her. Most likely her family. “You’re here to make me squeaky clean, and as such – I must be in my natural form.”  

Patty stuck her tongue out in disgust, continuing her path to the bathroom. The sound of a water running reached his ears, but he paid little attention to that as his curiosity took over again, gazing at the pictures. Romantic relationships used to be his only focus, but Skid and his mother managed to change that for him. It was a shame his new friend did not have any children of her own, but she did have a lot of pictures with an older blonde woman who resembled her appearance. The mother in this case.  

Each photo down the wall allowed him to see glimpses of her past, until he reached one where she was considerably young. She was sporting a sleeveless top and a skirt with an odd pattern of orange and white. He’d seen buildings with kids like that – cheerleeches he believed they were called? Next to Patty was another younger girl with lavender hair whose mouth was open in uproarious laughter.    

His heart beat once.  

No, it couldn’t be.  

“Hey! Bath’s ready!”  

His claw took the photo from its shelf, shoving it into his coat pocket on the floor before heading down to the bathroom. He was going to ask her for answers, but the moment the tub reached his eyes, he stopped. It was filled to the brim, waiting for him to get in as his new friend tossed a soap bar inside. “It’s all yours. Let me know when you’re done.”  

“WAIT!”  

She paused, taken aback by his outburst. “What?”  

“I... don’t want a bath now.”  

She facepalmed. “You made me drive us all the way just for this – you’re taking the bath.”  

“N-No.”  

“What is your problem?!” Having enough of his attitude, she grabbed his arm and pulled. “You’re getting in!”  

“NO! I LIKE BEING DIRTY!”  

“YOU’RE GETTING INSIDE THAT WATER, ASSHOLE!”   

The monster roared, opening his jaw for a bite, but Patty had shoved another bar of soap into his waiting mouth, forcing him to swallow it whole. He grinned coyly at her, burping bubbles at her. “Jokes on you, lady. I’ve eaten things way more acidic than -”  

She shoved him, and he landed with a splash inside the tub. He screamed, splashing water everywhere, only stopping when he realized something. “Wow, this is really warm.”  

Patty rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I made it just the way I like mine. Happy now, jerk?”  

He didn’t respond, splish-splashing against the surface with his nimble claws in a childlike manner. The bar of soap floating next to him finally got his attention, and he swiped it, digging his nails into it. “What’s this?”  

“It’s what makes people smell good,” she said, doing her best not to look at him. “Just rub it all over yourself and your... private areas.”  

The monster furiously rubbed the object on his arm, creating foams of soap to cover. He giggled, rubbing more everywhere until eventually his body was subjected under an entire kingdom of soap. It got in his eyes and mouth – and sure it burned, but it was so much fun to play with the bubbles that he didn’t care.  

He was having a joyful time.  

Patty left the bathroom when the bubbles reached the door and was currently leaking outside of it. She didn’t bother stopping him, instead opting to sit on the couch and wonder where her life went wrong.  

Chapter Text

She had fallen asleep at some point. Some nights were like that – with her body shutting down due to how little sleep she got. Having grown used to functioning with little to no sleep, she would also wake up an hour or less later, proving the little she got useless. The doctors at the hospital would tease her for the dark circles under her eyes, but she couldn’t find the humor in their jabs when it was partially their fault for leaving her with the night shifts. 

She yawned, rubbing her eyelids, and did her best to recall what happened prior. She was heading to the hospital when she ran over a lemon that could talk, performed surgery on him, gave him dating advice, and then brought him to her home for a bath. 

A laugh escaped her. She must have been really exhausted if she thought the events of a nightmare were real. There was absolutely no way in hell any of that crap happened. Her eyes slowly opened, expecting the comfort of her small empty home, but instead found herself staring into the eyes of the monster from her nightmare. 

Amused by the widening of her eyes and the furrowing of her eyebrows, he prodded her cheek with a single sharp finger. “Wakey wakey, doc. It was fun watching you sleep, but we need to put my new clean scent to good use.” 

“Noooo,” she whined, a vacant expression on her face. “Why couldn’t you have been some stupid nightmare I was having.” 

The words were meant to be insulting, but he took it in stride, patting her head as one would to a pet. “These compliments from you are nice, but I want them from my other human... so get up and start driving.” 

His yellow haired companion slapped his claw away, all the while she struggled to sit back up, and glare at him with half lidded eyes. “Hey, here’s an idea – how about you go and fuck off?” 

The monster’s smile widened, placing his arms behind his back. “You have a pretty big potty mouth for a human.” 

“My mouth?! Your mouth is about the size of -” Before she could finish her sentence, he acted, forcing a bar of soap into her open mouth. Shocked by the bitter taste flooding her tastebuds, she retaliated by kicking his gut, sending him reeling back a few feet. Spitting out the intruding object, she coughed a couple of times in an attempt to get rid of the taste. “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” 

“Nothing is wrong with me. An eye for an eye, a soap for a soap.” The bloodshot vision of his eyes trailed to the ceiling, like a child does when they tried to pretend they had nothing to do with a situation. “Speaking of – you should take a bath; you  reek  of death.” 

Patty felt her temper flare up, pointing a finger at his murderous gaze. “You!” She hissed, trying her best not to assault him. “The only reason I smell like this is because of YOU!” 

“Mhm.” 

“YOU!” She spit out, standing up and pressing her index finger against his chest. “You and your pretentious need to drag me everywhere to solve a simple fucking problem!” 

“You’re a very angry human.” 

“Yes, I fucking am.” The face mask she had worn all night slid down her cheeks, revealing a deep scowl. “And I have the right be mad when you wasted my time in the middle of my shift, forced me to cut your heart out, drove you back to MY house, and put you in MY bathtub – which better be intact by the way or it’s your ass.” 

The coy bastard smiled at her, and shrugged his shoulders indifferently. “Lady, I'm grateful for everything you’ve done for me, but you need to relax.” 

“Relax.” Patty laughed, squeezing her eyes shut to take a deep breath. “RELAX?! HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO RELAX WITH YOU?!” 

Her outburst was music to his ears; it had felt like a century since a human had taken him for the demon that he was. It was a nice of change of pace to the usual chanting of spooky month or the teasing of his crush. A certain feeling of closeness gave rise to his chest again, and this time he indulged it instead of rejecting it.  

Patty’s entire body stiffened in place; the noodle-like arms of the once smelly monster wrapped around her. “Shh,” he whispered, swaying her back and forth.  “I always repay those who do me favors.” 

The lemon man purred, and for once his breath didn’t smell like a back-alley dumpster. It would have been a tender moment for anyone else, but this was the guy who ruined her sleep and her bathroom. Shaking herself back to reality, she stomped on his foot with all the force she could muster.  

Pain shot up the limb, forcing him to release her from his hold as he roared. “I was trying to be nice you ungrateful sack of -” 

Another boot was headed his direction, but he swiftly moved to the side to evade her wrath. The thought of using his claws to pull apart her skin – to tear her chest open and rip out her heart like a true surgeon should. As much as his bloodlust compelled him to, he couldn’t. The situation was beginning to get similar to how he first met a certain lavender haired woman. This was going to get hairy fast if they didn’t resolve whatever the hell she was angry about. 

“Alright, fine, lady.” He put his claws up in surrender to appease her rage. “I will take my leave if you desire it so much.” 

Her scowl fell, her mouth dropping into surprise. “What? Just like that?” 

“Yep.” Twirling around to face the door, he waved goodbye to her as he walked away. “Our time together was enjoyable, but I have a human to court.” His heart began its march against his chest at the thought of her. There was no time to lose, and certainly no time to waste fighting another human woman. Opening the door, he turned to her one last time. “Say, what’s your name? I never got it from all the chaos.” 

She walked towards him, her expression being a mixture of annoyed and drowsy. “Patty.” 

A fitting name. Her short yellow locks reminded him of the triangular patties they sold at the supermarket. “Well, Patty... my name is -” 

“Don’t care,” was all she had to offer before shoving him one last time. As soon as his butt made contact with the grass, she slammed the door shut, and clicked every lock available onto it. 

“Humans,” he huffed, rubbing his sore bottom as he regained his bearings. “Such a rude meatsack. Is it really that hard to drive me somewhere?” 

As he began his trek back to Lila’s house, his thoughts wandered to the photo in his pocket. He didn’t get the chance to ask her about it, nor was he planning on asking his human interest. It was useful information he could use in the future; information that could get him back in contact with his new friend. 

He’ll find a use for Patty one way or another.  

The further he got, the more he realized something. 

He can’t do this. 

It was simpler to imagine it in his head. Knock on the door, charm her with his alluring whit, confess his feelings, and then... he wasn’t sure what would happen after that. Rejection bounced around in his imagination, causing his shoulders to slump for a moment, but he quickly recovered raising his chest high, refusing to accept such a fate.  

He could do this. 

Say the words, “I love you.”  

That was it. 

Just three words. 

… No, he couldn’t. 

This wasn’t like food or broth; he couldn’t barge in and take what he desired. She was a human, and humans were complicated. He suspected she wouldn’t even listen to his confession, thinking it was some sort of trick. The monster needed something to grab her attention, to make her less wary of his presence every time he showed up. Frustrated with his building nervousness, he banged his head against the trunk of tree, hoping he would be able to beat an idea into his head.  

Small fits and bursts of giggles cut through his thoughts, sending several jolts of irritation down his spine. They sounded feminine – probably a pair of his admirers taking joy in his suffering. A growl climbed his throat, “Leave before I kill you and your entire bloodline.” 

The annoying sound stopped, and for a moment he thought he was alone with his thoughts again. Then a small pair of shoes pitter-pattered its way to his feet. He peered down curiously at the small girl, who shifted her feet nervously under his gaze. 

“Um, hello, Mr. Lemon,” she began, biting her lips, her orange bow decorated on her tiny head fluttering against the wind. “I wanted to say thank you for saving me and my friends from that bad ice cream man, so I brought your flowers from my mom’s garden.” The child held up several different types of plants; dandelions, tulips, orchids, and each varying in color as well. “I got a lot of them because I didn’t know which one you would like the most.” 

Hypnotized by the gift, his claws seized them from her hands by the stems. He sniffed the fragrance, not knowing what to make sense of the admittedly fruity taste, but offered a wide smile to the child nonetheless. The girl had no idea, but she had just helped him immensely. “Thanks, kid.” The monster patted her head, an action he was starting to build a routine out of. “I will treat each of these as if they were my own fleshlings.” 

Flustered from his praise, she blushed and kicked the grass beneath her feet. “M-my friends wanted t-to know if you’re going to go to the winter fair tomorrow?” 

Tilting his head, he asked, “Winter fair?” 

“Y-yeah! Everyone in town goes there every year!” She exclaimed, bouncing on her toes. “My mom and dad are gonna go, my friends, Tammy, Tommy, Timmy, Chad, Billy, our bullies, that weird kid who hangs out in the janitor’s closet -” she stopped to catch her breath. “Oh! And Skid and Pump too!” 

“You’re an easily excited one, aren’t you?” he commented, the list of names having no meaning for him. “But I think you’re right, I should take a chance to visit this winter fair of yours.” 

“Yay!” The girl threw her arms up in the air. “Wait till everyone else hears about this!”  

She dashed back to her group of friends standing on the sidewalk, their chatter increasing volume when she returned with news of his arrival. It was probably a bad idea to encourage the kids of the neighborhood, but he could deal with that later. For now, he had the perfect items to confess to the human with and a place to take her to. 

Arriving at the front door felt different this time. When was the last time he had actually entered their home without breaking in? Twirling the flowers with his claws, he rang the doorbell once, and waited. Humans liked patience, right? He just has to wait for the door to open and he will pour everything out to her. 

A minute passed, which wasn’t long, but he tried knocking again, this time with his knuckles. It took another ten seconds for the monster to be fed up and start banging his skull against the door. Dizzy from the beating he inflicted on the door, he stepped back, and pressed his face against the window. The house looked empty, but he memorized her scent, he could smell her from a mile away. Lila was inside, but for some reason was not answering the door. 

That was fine, he’ll just enter like he always does. No one can say he didn’t try to be more civilized in his approach, but as usual his unorthodox methods are always more effective. Humming a tune to himself, he walked behind the house, and spotted the pipes he had used to climb to her room the other night. Placing the stems between his teeth, he began to make his way up in a much faster pace than the night before, the objective of gaining her favor motivating him with each pull. 

Once slipping inside, he surveyed the room, and took one giant whiff of the air. She was close, but definitely not here. Had to keep looking before he lost his nerve. 

“... A thousand miles away from you~”  

The monster stopped, his grip on the plants faltering slightly. That voice – so melodic and sincere, that couldn’t have been her, right? 

“A broke mess, just scattered pieces of who I am~”  

His legs were turning to mush. Trembling. Breathless. Weak. This isn't how he pictured it. It was supposed to be easy. Comparable to lulling to sleep. This was getting harder. He doesn't want to know this madness. The chaos in his chest.  

“I tried so hard...”  

It was like he was falling in love all over again and he hated it. Every fiber of his being felt as if it was burning, like the sun itself draping its ray over his chest like a blanket.  

“A broken mess – Just shattered pieces of who I am~”  

Her voice – he's heard many variations of it, ranging mostly from sheer terror, stern tones to unrestrained laughter. They were usually feminine, but loud, unfettered. Those emotions would take over her whole body, and it amused him with how lively she was. This was different. Sweet, and angelic – attributes he’s seen in very small windows when she interacts with those of her inner circle.  “Thought I could do this on my own~”  

Each verse brought him closer to the door like a moth to the flame. Had he known she could sing with such an enchanting aura he might not have tried to kill her. Briefly, he thought of harmonizing with her, adding his brand of bass to her melodious tune. He didn’t know the lyrics of what she was singing, but he could learn and adapt. The boy mentioned wanting him to learn a new song anyways. 

“I’ve lost so much along the way...”  

Her voice rose high, following the dull sound of water running. The entranced monster was outside the door now; it was now or never. Never before had the adrenaline been this prevalent in his veins, not even during a hunt. However, after listening to her, fear be damned. He knew what he wanted, and he wanted her for himself. 

“LILA!” He roared, kicking the door open and sliding on the bathroom tiles on his knees, his arms outstretched as he thrusted the flowers above his head. “YOUR SIREN SONG HAS CALLED ME AND I HAVE ARRIVED TO -” 

The plan backfired immediately upon realization of what he had interrupted.  

She stood there; towel messily wrapped around her form, her hair - drenched in water, and clinging to her sleek shoulders. Lila stared at him in disbelief, and all he could do was stare back, sensing all the color drain from his face. The monster was not an expert on the concept of beauty, but he knew from an objective standpoint that the lavender woman was attractive despite having very little meat on her bones. 

Actually, that wasn’t right. She did have meat on her, but it was in particular locations he had never thought to admire before. His eyes trailed over the curve of her hip, all the way to the droplets of water gliding down her cleavage. The color that drained from his face redirected somewhere else, to an unfamiliar organ. 

“ARE YOU CHECKING ME OUT?!” 

Shaken out of his trance, he finally met her eyes, who appeared just as shaken as he was. “N-NO! I WOULD NEVER!” 

No longer flabbergasted, she felt warmth rise in her cheeks as she angrily tossed whatever she could get her hands on at him. “GET OUT! GET OUT!” 

Scrambling to his feet, he practically leaped to escape her attack, landing with a thud outside of the bathroom. In all the commotion, he forgot about the flowers, having dropped them upon the sight of her barely clothed body. Worried about them, he glanced back only to find the door slam shut, his gift scattered all over the flower. 

Wonderful. Another plan ruined. They weren’t even his, so why did he feel disheartened? He began picking them up, observing the torn-up petals in his claws. They weren’t salvageable anymore, broken from his own impatience to confess his feelings.  

Sadness quickly churned to hunger, his heart and stomach at odds with one another. It was a cycle he could never escape from, but at least it was a familiar one. Scooping up the flower heads, he popped them into his mouth, crushing whatever was left with his powerful jaws.  

Unfortunately, they didn’t taste very good. 

 The monster sat down on the couch of the living room, waiting for the human to come downstairs. It was no secret he was conniving creature, always with a backup plan to his backup plans, but his mind wasn’t allowing him to concentrate this time. Every time he closed his eyes the image of her bare flesh singed the forefront of his imagination.  

Disgusted with himself, he pinched his leg, the pain reminding him to come back to reality. Humans... he’s only even viewed them as food, toys even. Sure, sometimes he’d admire some lovers he fancied, but nothing beyond that. Clearly, something had changed, his heart be damned. 

The sounds of footsteps caught his attention, perking his gaze upstairs. She had dressed in a pair of dry clothes, a t-shirt with a pair of eyes staring back at him with the caption  “look at me in the eyes”  under it. It would have made him laugh before, except for the fact that he wasn’t sure if he even could meet her eyes after what happened. 

Seating herself down across from him, she crossed her arms and legs, an unamused expression plastered on her face. “You broke into my house again.” 

“... Yes.” 

“This is what? The third or fourth time?” 

Filled with shame, his gaze broke off, redirecting it to their reflection in the black screen television. “I -” 

“And then you  perv  on me while I’m showering?!” Lila shook her head, a tint of blue in the corner of her cheeks. “I mean, really, what the hell were you thinking?” 

“I wasn’t  perving ,” he said, doing his best to meet her eyes. “I was waiting outside knocking on the door when no one answered!” 

Lila scoffed at his excuse. “I was showering! Did you not hear the water running?!” 

“I did, but then I...” the malevolent grin forming on his mouth worried her, suddenly feeling she was going to lose ground. “But then I heard those sweet sounds from your vocal cords.” 

She groaned, burying her face in her hands. “You heard that, huh?” 

No longer guilt-ridden, he pushed himself closer to her in an attempt to gauge the reaction on her face. “You never told me you could sing like that.” 

“What, like a siren?” She mumbled into her hands. “I know you just want to make fun of me for singing like crap, so just say it.” 

“Now where is that sour attitude coming from, girl?” The monster cooed, using a finger to gently push the strands of hair covering her eyes aside. “I’ve listened to many humans sing, but you sounded like a professional. How did you learn such talent?” 

Flustered, she leaned back against the cushion, a nervous smile on her face. “Oh, stop it, you don’t mean that.” 

“I do.”  

Rolling her eyes, she dismissed his compliment with a wave of her hand. “Yeah, right. And how would you know what quality music sounds like?” 

“Because your voice is honest and pure.” He whispered, pressing his cheek against the sofa cushion as he leaned closer. “You sung from the heart and yet kept control of your tone. Rare for most humans who sing in showers.” The monster relaxed further, his eyes half-lidded before continuing, “Your voice matches you – both body and mind... beautiful.” 

Lila was shocked. She was flattered, but completely unsure of what to say. It felt odd to receive compliments on something she never had much confidence in, let alone from the monster that tried to kill her. It was too sweet, that she couldn’t help wonder if he had ulterior motives. However, she had to second guess herself when making contact with his eyes. He looked like a lovesick puppy, gazing at her as if she were a five-star meal. 

Did he... 

Before she could continue with her line of thought, the monster sat up straight, sweat running down his neck. “I MEAN - you’re obviously not as good as me, but it was pretty good for a human!” 

She began giggling, until it morphed into outright laughter. It took over her whole body. He'd never seen a woman laugh that way, and she rarely even opened her mouth to smile at him. Now, her shoulders were shaking, her eyes were narrow slits, her face was bright blue, and her smile was so wide he could see her teeth. 

And it was all because of him. He was proud of himself, proud that he'd been the one to make her come apart. He wanted to make her lose control again and again in delight, to know that he was the cause of it. 

After her laughter ceased, she wiped a tear from her eye before addressing him again. “Thank you, that’s genuinely one of the nicest things anyone’s said to me.” 

He looked away from her, his cheeked reddened in color, “Yeah, and uh... if you ever need someone to sing a duo with, I can be your monster for the job.” 

Lila smiled gratefully, but shook her head. “Thanks, but I don’t think you would like it. It’s a song I listened to a lot after the... situation with my son’s father. Real sentimental stuff.” 

Disappointed with her refusal, his grin fell slightly, but nodded in agreement.  

“Anyways,” she coughed into her fist, changing the subject. “Did you come here for something or did you just want to listen to me sing while I shower?” 

Growing sheepish again, he clicked his tongue, opening and closing each eye before continuing. “You heard of the winter fair that’s coming up?” 

“Yes, my son and I go with his friend every year.” Lila frowned in recollection. “Although, it does get crowded, it’s always unsanitary, and people get pushy, but they enjoy it, and that’s enough for me.” 

 His mouth felt dry. “Can I join you?” 

“Of course, you can! But -” The human winced, not wanting to hurt his feelings. “I did invite a friend of mine to come as well and I’m not sure if she would feel comfortable with you around.” 

“That’s okay!” He blurted, his eyes widening in panic. “I have a friend I can bring as well!” 

Surprised by his claim, she raised an eyebrow at him quizzically. “You have a friend?” 

“Mhm.” 

“A real friend?” She asked again. “Someone that actually enjoys spending time with you and vice versa?” 

“She and I are like two peas in a pod!”  

Ever the clever one, she narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “What’s her name?” 

He instantly knew the perfect candidate. “Patty.” 

Lila’s jaw dropped like an anchor, he almost thought he was going to have to reattach it back to her mouth. “Patty?! Patty as in P-A-T-T-Y, Patty?!” 

“I believe so, yes.” 

“Oh my god,” she muttered, staring at him in astonishment. “She and I used to go to high school together! How did you even meet her?!” 

“It’s a funny story, actually.” The monster chuckled, recalling the events. “The woman ran me over, crushing all of my limbs, but was... kind enough to bring me to the hospital.” 

“Heh, you kinda deserve it.” She stopped when he growled menacingly. “Sorry, go on.” 

He hummed, scratching his chin. “It was just my luck that Patty is the top surgeon of the hospital now, and let me tell ya, she worked wonders on me. I mean, look at me.” Wiggling his arms and legs in the air to prove his point. “You can’t even tell I was hurt.” 

Lila whistled in awe. “She always did say she wanted to be a surgeon...” A proud smile made its way to her cheeks. “I’m really happy for her, but -” she glanced worriedly at him. “She used to be a real shut-in person, so how did you two get along?” 

“Bah! If anything, that part of her brought us closer together. She would ask stuff about my insides while she performed surgery on me and I would answer her questions back.” 

“And just like that you two became friends?” 

“Just like that.” 

She mulled over his words carefully, nodding once and beaming in excitement. “I’m happy you made an actual friend and it would be really great if you bring Patty along! God, Jaune and I haven’t seen her in forever!” 

It seemed his lies worked for now. They weren’t technically bad lies either, they were meant to make his new friend look good when presented. Although, he didn’t understand why, he guessed it was better to be a surgeon rather than a morgue attendant, and it looks like his gamble paid off. 

Now he just needed to get Patty on board. 

“I assure you once I let her know she will be  overjoyed  to meet you again.” 

Chapter Text

Alright, so getting Patty to join him was going to be harder than he thought.  

After leaving Lila’s house, he went straight to Patty’s place with the intent of letting her know of the favor he did for her. It wasn’t everyday he helped with the reunion of some human friends, but if it allowed him to get closer to his desired mate, then a couple of white lies and stolen photos didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. 

The problem was his friend wasn’t answering the door and as impatient as he was, he was not going to break in due to fear of seeing her naked. The scent of her distinct flesh still lingered in the air, however and he guessed she hadn’t taken a shower since he left. 

Still, he wasn’t taking any chances. “PATTY GET OUT HERE I NEED TO TALK TO YA!” 

Pressing the nubs of his skull against the door, he heard the sounds of fabric shuffling inside. Did she really think she could ignore him? “I CAN HEAR YOU INSIDE NOW LET ME IN!” 

“... Fuck off.” 

He strained his ears to hear her barely audible voice. “WHAT?!” 

“I SAID FUCK OFF!!” 

Laughing her curses off, he rang the doorbell multiple times in succession. The inside of her home became engulfed in the ringing noise, his mocking laughter from outside only making it more insufferable. Patty screamed into her pillow, angry beyond belief at the monster who dared to return. Was he incapable of catching a hint or just plain stupid? 

Said monster tapped his feet in junction with the beat of the doorbell, feeling a rhythm coming up until it was abruptly interrupted by his blonde-haired friend swinging the door open. “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?!” 

“First off, hello,” he waved, offering a mischievous grin. “And you my friend look much worse than when I left this morning.” 

Her disheveled hair looked as if it had been put through a tornado, several locks stretching outwards like springs, and the crusts beneath her eyes were more noticeable now. The drowsy human sighed, leaning her head against the doorframe, and closing her eyes. “I lost a er –something very important to me... I haven’t been able to sleep because of it.” 

“You mean this little thing?” His claws revealed the item she was searching for, wiggling it back and forth in front of her. “I have no idea how it got in my pocket, but there it was.” 

There was a fire behind her eyes, growing ever brighter with each taunt. “Of course, you would be the type of asshole who steals shit as well.”  

“Want it back?”  

Patty scowled, clenching her fists together. “What do you want?” 

“Relax, Patty, I'm giving it back to you.” The height difference between the two was a taunt in and of itself. Patty had always been short, easily making the yellow asshole tower over her, and he gleefully used it to his advantage, holding her possession over her head. She reached up with one arm to swipe it from his grasp, but his keen reflexes kept her from grabbing it, briskly moving the picture away from her grabby hands. Her efforts made him roll his eyes, “Stop it, all I want in exchange is for you to hear me out.” 

The blonde crossed her arms, grumbling multiple curses under her breath. “Fine, whatever, but if there’s any crinkles on it I'm kicking your ass.”  

Ignoring her threat, he pointed a claw to Lila in the photo. “Do you see this woman?” 

“Yeah.” 

“This very pretty lady?” 

“... Yes?” 

“The most beautifu-” 

“She’s the girl you’ve been pining for, isn’t she?” 

“That’s why I like you so much, you’ve got a good head on your shoulders,” he replied, lowering the photo, and caressing a nail over the picture. “I caught her at a very vulnerable moment. It made me want to unmask more of her layers, and peer inside.” 

She didn’t understand, mouthing a silent  what  to him with narrowed eyes. The monster beckoned her to come closer, leaning forwards, as if ready to share a secret. Intrigued by what a gross looking lemon monster could share, she lent him her ear, waiting for the new information. 

He breathed once, sending chills up her spine before he whispered.  “I saw her naked~”  

“You what?!”  She whispered back harshly, a blush tinting her cheeks. 

“I know, right?!” He giggled like a boy, cheeks tinted red, and a claw over his teeth. “Well, not completely – she had a towel on, but it was very...  thrilling .” 

His friend did not share his sentiment, crinkling her nose in disgust. “Please don’t tell me you guys boned or something.” 

“Don’t be such a pervert,” he scolded, but his leery grin told her a different story of how he really felt. “It was accidental, I didn’t mean to peep on her.” 

She allowed his comment to slide, returning her attention back to the item he possessed. “Cool, so, you saw her showering, asked her out, and she probably jumped for joy, happy ending for everyone.”  

Patty tried once again to take what was hers, only for her hands to be met with air. “I wasn’t done.” 

Frustrated with her inability to get her picture back, she shouted, “Jesus christ, you asked her out after that didn’t you?!” 

This time his cheery attitude dropped, becoming sheepish as he tipped his hat down to cover his eyes. “I’m... not sure.” 

“Then what the hell were you doing that whole time?!” 

Facing her, he growled menacingly, both hands grasping his head. “I TRIED, OKAY?! But I got nervous and... well I managed to get invited to the winter fair with her kids.” 

“... Okay, um, did she mention the word date at all?” 

He shook his head, a worried glaze in his eyes. 

“To be honest, I don’t have a lot of dating experience either, but at least she trusts you with her kids.” Patty shoved her hands in her pajama pockets, feeling awkward of the circumstances. “Just make it clear to her what you want out of your relationship and go from there, I guess.” 

The monster knew she was right, but it didn’t make his stomach feel any lighter at the thought of it. “One last thing, Patty,” he stated, looking up at her with an unreadable gaze. “And you’re not going to like it, so try to keep that temper of yours in check.” 

“Just about everything you’ve said or done has been a pain in the ass.” A gust of wind blew, making it difficult to maintain her eyes open. “Get it over with so I can get my picture back.” 

“Weeell.” He placed the palms of his claws together, rubbing them against each other timidly. “I maaay have mentioned your name to her.” 

“You fucking WHAT?!” 

“And I may have mentioned that you will be accompanying me to this event.” Panic surged through her, and the monster could tell his words was not having the desired effect on her judging by her trembling form. “You don’t seem as happy about it like she was.” 

“Do you have any how long it’s been?! I hated high school me! High school me was the worst!” 

“... But you will accompany me, right?” 

“Fuck. No.” 

The monster slumped, disheartened by her rejection. “Please?” 

She shook her head again, her mood sourer than before. “No way in hell.” 

“But whyyyy,” he whined, widening his eyes as he implored. “She was so happy when I told her I would bring you along.” 

“Whatever this is -” she pointed a finger between them, waving it back and forth.  “It is not friendship. I don’t even know your name in the first place.” 

“It’s monster.”  

“Like I said, I don’t care.” Patty couldn’t meet his eyes anymore, they were somehow getting sadder with each word exchanged, despite the blood tinted below them. “Monster... I  really  don’t want to see her.” 

Puzzled by the desperation in her voice, he concentrated on the melancholic daze in her eyes. Feeling some pity for his human friend, he held out the picture as a gesture of goodwill. “You heard me out, but it sounds like you need someone to listen to your troubles.” 

Patty blinked, cautiously taking her prized possession from his claws. He made no sudden movements, content with watching her stare at the photo for a few seconds before her head darted back up. “What’s the catch?” 

“No catch.” He wrapped an arm around her, drawing them closer until they were shoulder to shoulder. “I’ve watched humans for a long time and this is how friends treat each other.” 

“With blackmail?” She mumbled, trying to wiggle her way out of his grasp. 

“Yes! You see, the day you tore my soul from my body and forced me to bathe -” 

“Screw you, you forced me to do that crap.” 

Ignoring her interruption, he continued. “- Was the day we formed a pact.” He used his index finger to poke her forehead playfully. “Meaning that all of  my  problems are  your  problems! And all of  your  problems are  my  problems.” 

Finally managing to escape his hold, she shivered from his description of friendship. “That sounds like the beginning of a codependent relationship.” 

“I don’t know what that means, but it sounds fun.” The monster sat down on her porch, patting the empty spot next to him. “Now, tell me what happened between you and my future mate.” 

Recognizing that he was determined to get answers, she took the spot next to him, her eyes planted to her pajama slippers. “I don’t know... we used to be really good friends. Hell, she was my  only friend for a long time in school.” She paused, glancing at the picture of the two of them laughing in the middle of a football field before tucking it away in her pocket. “I was a shy kid, didn't know how to talk to any of my classmates, and I could barely get a sentence out without stuttering like an idiot.”  

“Heh, you sound like a dork.” 

Her hands balled into fists, directing her hateful eyes to his, but he quickly defused her by putting both arms up in surrender. “I was just teasing ya~. Continue your story, please.” 

She rolled her eyes, glancing back down again. “Lila was the kind of girl that knew everyone on a first name basis. I thought it was because she would wear all these goth clothes and bracelets, but that didn’t stop her from brushing shoulders with anyone. I was jealous, but I kept living on with my life... until she began sitting down next to me in lunch.” 

The monster paid close attention to her facial features, humans were easy to read most of the time, but even he couldn’t tell what she was thinking. “That girl would just – sit down next to me and ask about my day. Me, the anxiety-ridden kid who could barely speak.” Patty exhaled, resting her chin on her knuckle in thought. “Eventually we would go from talking about our classes to goofing off in class, and eventually she even got me into cheerleading. Hated it, but she made it fun... I’m not sure what it is about her, but it’s like -”  

“It’s like she brings out the best in you,” he finished, surprising her with his understanding. “That woman... your tale reminds me of her kindness, but she possesses a strength like you wouldn’t believe.” Leaning back, he gazed up at the sky, imagining a cloud to be the shape of her head. “I’m not sure what’s happening to me, but she changed me too, that much I can tell you.” 

They sat in silence, contemplating the impact their mutual friend had on their lives. He would never say it out loud, but had it not been for their physical encounters, Patty would have most likely been diced and sliced into meat cubes. Biting the inside of his cheek to dissuade those thoughts, he said, “That still doesn’t explain why you don’t want to see her again.” 

“Ugh, it’s dumb,” she groaned, burying her face in her hands. “It was around senior year, she started hanging out with this guy, can’t remember his name, but he was way into the occult, much more than she was. Gave me really bad vibes.” The blonde leaned back, joining his admiration of the clouds. “I told her about it, but she told me I was being paranoid and that he’s a really nice guy.”  

The monster hummed, “Were you jealous, perhaps? I know, I would.” 

“No,” was her immediate response before deflating like a balloon. “Okay, fine, maybe I was a little, but I was mostly worried about her well-being.” 

Deep in his heart he knew he would have done much worse, but prompted her to continue. “And then what happened?” 

“It all came to a stop is what happened. Next thing I knew I couldn’t even be around her without him creeping around.” She pursed her lips, frowning at the sky. “Who knows? Maybe I really was just being paranoid. He was polite enough for her other friends to not suspect anything, but I personally couldn’t stand him at all.” 

“If I were you, I would have killed him as a message,” he muttered, the deadpan tone of his voice contrasting his homicidal statement. “She was your only friend, no one should have that honor, but you.” 

“Jesus, he creeped me out, but I didn’t want the guy to die.” Despite her protest, she offered an unsure smile to him. “But uh, thanks I think?” 

“You’re welcome.” A beat passed, allowing his imagination to go wild, deciding multiple ways to cut up the occult obsessed man. “But so, what? You avoided her till the end of your high school years?” 

“I tried to, but... Lila confronted me one day after practice, saying I was being really distant and that she was worried about me.” She bit her lip, her knee bouncing up and down as she continued to speak. “I felt bad about it, but I didn’t want to tell her that her boyfriend made me uncomfortable, she loved the guy.”  

A low growl rumbled next to her, but she ignored him. “But she kept insisting that I tell her if there’s something wrong and I – I just – I exploded. I guess all the weeks I spent avoiding her built up and I projected all that stress onto her.” 

He thought back to a few weeks back, his inability to kill Lila and the boys sending him down a spiral of despair, eventually depriving himself of food to punish himself for being weak. It wasn’t until she came along that his restraint shattered and they were put into another brawl again. 

“After I was done screaming, she stared at me, and I could tell she was hurt... but she still tried to step closer to me, maybe to hug me or something, but I -” She stopped, a dark shadow casting over her eyes, “I pushed her away, not hard, but enough, and started saying shit just for the sake of it. Things like how I didn’t want to hang around with a weird goth chick, and her creepy boyfriend anymore and other crap.” 

The monster’s eyes widened, “You really don’t hold back, do you?” 

“I would take it all back if I could. She’s never cared about what other people thought of her, but I know I must have hurt her terribly. Didn’t even say anything back to me, just walked away.” 

The monster laughed, inciting her fragile temperament. “The fuck is so funny?” 

“Please, I’ve done much worse to that woman.” He held up all the digits in his claw, listing his offenses, “I tried to kill her, traumatized her, tried to kill her again – compared to your petty bullying I was an absolute monster.” 

If he had done that to her, she would never allow him to even get close to her vicinity, but apparently her old friend was allowing him into her inner circle. “And even after all that she’s letting you go with her to the fair? How the fuck?” 

Shrugging, he wrapped an arm around her again. She really hated how touchy he was. “Which is exactly why you need to go see her again. If she can forgive me and my...  barbaric  tendencies, then I am one hundred percent sure she will forgive your name-calling.” 

She winced, “Even without that hanging over my head, it’s going to be extremely awkward. It’s me after all.” 

“Patty, your friend, monster is going to be there! What could go wrong?”  

Blinking twice, she shoved him away, putting a few feet of distance between them. “Literally everything could go wrong with your ass... but fine.” 

His features lifted, the prospect of not having to resort to threats easing him. “Really? You’ll join me?” 

“Only because I want to see if all this crap you’re spewing out is actually true.” She paused, a lingering question in the back of her mind coming to fruition. “By the way, if you’re trying to get in her pants, does that mean that creep she hung out with is out of the picture?” 

The monster waggled his finger, denying her question. “Yes, but I won’t share anything else. That is for her to say if she decides to tell you anything more.” 

Digesting his words, it dawned on her how much has changed. The girl now had kids, and a monster trailing her. Could so much have happened during those times? 

“Also, I told her you’re the top surgeon of the hospital, so be prepared with your little white lies, doc.” 

Patty was surprised Lila didn’t try to kill to kill the bastard. 

They made a small game plan after their discussion - nothing major, but they did add some filler as to how Patty became a surgeon and to the origin of their meeting. Both participants agreed it would be better for all of them if Lila saw them as very good friends despite how much Patty wanted to punt his jaw whenever he opened his mouth. 

Taking a shower after eighteen hours was probably both the grossest and most cathartic thing she’s ever done. She would have dozed off to sleep in the bathtub, but she was too anxious, imagining several scenarios of greeting Lila, each more awkward than the last.  

After drying herself off in her room, it was then she realized that she barely had any form of casual clothing, the only time she left the house was for her job. A pair of jeans and a hoodie would have to do, she had the excuse of it being cold outside after all.  

The monster barged in, his head wedged between the crevice of her door. “Are you done, yet?” 

“Yeah, give me a few more minutes,” she muttered, combing the last strand of unkempt hair neatly back into their natural curls. “Instead of being an ass, put this on,” continuing with getting ready, she tossed a bottle over to him, landing in his waiting claws. It smelled like the fragrance some of his victims wore. The front label read  Lancome Mens. An aroma for men, by men.  

Taken aback, he looked up, squinting his eyes at Patty. “Wait, I thought you were a woman.” 

“Uh, I am? I just like how colognes smell better.” 

He shrugged, pressing down on the nozzle and spraying it from the top of his neck to the bottom of his toes. It smelled quite nice, bubbly and pungent, but he desperately needed to smell better for Lila. Opening his maw wide, he sprayed once, immediately closing it afterwards due to the fierce burning in his tastebuds. His tongue darted between his teeth to diminish the taste.  

Glancing at the mirror, he saw what was a very handsome lemon monster, looking and smelling like a brand-new human. All that was left now were his eyes. Using two fingers to widen his left eye, he aimed the cologne at it, hesitating for a second before pressing down. 

“AAAAAAH!” 

Patty jumped from his outburst, rushing over to where he was currently crouched, and holding a claw over one of his eyes. “What the fuck happened?!” 

“Don’t worry, I got this,” he breathed, widening his unsprayed eye, and taking aim with the cologne. His friend could only watch at his stupidity as he continued to spray the acidic liquid into his right eye.  

“IT BURRRRRNS!” He roared, clawing at his head as blood poured down his tear ducts. 

“You’re not supposed to spray it on your eyes, dumbass.” She walked past him, opening the door outside. “Well, I'm done here, let’s go.” 

Hunched over and gasping for air, he held up a claw to stop her. “W-wait, how do I look?” 

Her eyes trailed over his clothing, not having changed much aside from borrowing one of her boots to replace the dirt filled one he had before and a red sweater she had lying around underneath his coat. Truth be told, Patty wasn’t sure what to look for. He was an abomination normally except for whenever he talked about Lila. In her eyes the man looked like a lost puppy who had been crying for hours on end with how puffy his eyes were now. 

A puppy with claws and enormous teeth. “Uh, you look great, man. She’ll love it.” 

Barely smiling at her, he nodded in gratitude, moving past her. 

She silently prayed to every god that nothing embarrassing happens tonight. 

The fair was bustling with people, strangers mostly. It was a small town, but for an introvert like her it might as well be an entire country. The monster stood out like a sore thumb, craning his neck above the crowd to get a better view of the area, unknowingly drawing unwanted attention to the both of them. 

“I can’t believe I had to pay for the both of us,” she grumbled, shoulders hunched, and her hoodie covering her face from the strangers around her. “I also can’t believe you didn’t think to set up a meeting place or something, she could be anywhere.” 

“Quit your whining,” he replied, sniffing the air a couple of times. “I know her scent better than anyone else, it won’t take me long to find her.” A few human groups tried to walk up to him with the intent to ask him something, only to scream and run when he would lunge and bite the air a few inches away from their face. “This would be a lot easier if there wasn’t so many useless meats around here.” 

Patty was surprisingly calm... for now. She wasn’t sure if she would be if he actually manages to sniff Lila and her company out. Should she start out with a normal greeting or apologize first? What the hell was the relationship between her and the weird creep next to her?  

… If anything, she was really curious about the latter question. 

“Aaaaah,” he cooed, a loopy smile forming on his face. “I caught her wonderful smell just now.” 

“What?! Where?!” She exclaimed, frantically looking around for a woman with purple hair, only being stopped by a claw pointing at a booth a few feet away from them. Lila was dressed in a sharply neat coat, a purple sweater poking underneath the sleeves and a pair of boots for the chilly evening. She was helping a boy in a skeleton costume shoot at red targets while another boy in a pumpkin costume and another woman with brown hair tied up in a sleek ponytail stood besides them, cheering them on. 

Her eyes widened, immediately recognizing who it was, and gripped onto the monster’s arm, stopping him in his tracks. Red hot fury fired up the instant she stopped him from running into Lila’s arms, but the way her body trembled and shook made him reconsider for a moment. “What’s wrong?” 

“You didn’t fucking tell me Jaune was going to be here!” She whispered, clinging to his coat as if it was her last saving grace. 

Annoyed by how clingy she was being, he waved off her concern, trying to pry her fingers off of him. “She mentioned a friend was coming, but I didn’t think it was important. Why do you care? Some other friend you blew off?” 

Sweat began forming on her forehead, running down her face like a waterfall. “N-no! We’re good! I think? I-it's hard to tell her with her sometimes, but I for one am not going to wait for her to -” 

“MR. LEMON!!” 

One of the rare times he was happy to hear their high-pitched voices, he turned around, nearly being knocked to the ground by the force of two children jumping into his arms. “Mrs. Lila told us you were going to come!” 

Skid nodded, gazing eagerly up at him. “We were starting to think you wouldn’t come!” 

“And miss all the excitement with you two?” He chuckled, holding them up like stuffed toys. “I thought you knew me better than that.” 

“Woah, Lila this guy’s spooky month costume is  scary  good!” Another voice chimed in, unfamiliar to the ones he’s picked up over the weeks. His eyes pointed to the woman Patty had been afraid of – Jaune he thinks is her name? She bumped an elbow into Lila’s shoulder, a sly smirk on her lips. “Seriously, why didn’t you tell me about him sooner?” 

The lavender haired woman laughed nervously, rubbing the back of her neck. “Actually, Jaune, that’s not a costu-” 

“Why thank you, Jaune,” he sang, cutting Lila off before she could reveal his true nature. “I worked arduously on it, just for the lads too.” Winking down at the two boys, sending the subtle message to keep quiet. They both smiled in response, making the motion of zipping their lips shut with their fingers. 

Jaune whistled, embarrassing Lila even further. She planned on adding another snarky comment, when something shuffled behind the tall lemon man, catching her attention. “Hey~ Is that who I think it is?” 

Patty sighed, lowering her hoodie to allow her short hair to blow free against the chilly wind. She forced a smile, offering one hand up in greeting. “Hey, it’s been a whi-” 

“Oh my god, your braces are gone!” 

Taken aback, she stared at Jaune wide eyed. “Y-yeah, they came off a year after graduation.”  

Jaune stepped forwards, cupping her cheeks. “Girl, you look so pretty without them!” 

Her face felt like boiling lava. “What?! Fu-” She glanced at the kids; their happy expressions unchanging. “ -uudge off, no I don’t! I look the freaking same!” 

Jaune disagreed, stepping back and using her thumbs and index fingers to form the shape of a camera. “You look like you haven’t slept in days, but trust me, you’ve definitely upgraded.” 

Finding herself in a vulnerable position and unable to find words for how casual Jaune was, all she could do was shrink into her jacket, muttering a small “thanks.” 

She grinned knowingly. “Cute.” 

As the monster watched the horrid display of affection between the two, he couldn’t help but notice not a single curse or kick from his angry little friend. Why were they getting more pacifist reactions when all he got was a bar of soap in his mouth?  

He’ll just never understand humans he supposed.  

At the very least Lila seemed nervous to approach her just as Patty was. They stared at each other for a few seconds, not knowing what to say to one another. The morgue attendant finally decided to take a chance, offering her hand. “Sup, been a while.” 

Everyone winced, and even he had to admit that could have been phrased better. However, as strange as it was, it only made Lila smile warmly in return. Taking her hand in what Patty would have thought to be a simple handshake turned into a bone crushing hug as Lila pulled her into her arms. 

“I missed you a lot...” 

Her soft voice shook her to the core, bringing up memories she thought were long gone. Her arms felt heavy, but through sheer will she found herself hugging Lila tightly back. Maybe not a lot has changed after all. Perhaps she could fix things now. 

As for the monster, a small, very tiny spec of his soul felt happy for his friend. 

Another much larger part wanted to tear her apart for being able to get a hug from Lila first. 

“Boys,” he whispered, carefully adjusting them onto his shoulders. “I don’t do well in these... soft moments, so why don’t we go have some fun of our own?” 

“Ohh, we haven’t tried the bumper cars yet!” Pump exclaimed.” 

The word cars instantly grabbed him. “As in, real cars?” 

“No, they are more like tinier versions.” Skid explained, looking over the crowd to find the ride. “But you can drive them and then crash into other people for fun!” 

“Using violence as a means for entertainment? Sounds like my kind of fun.” 

Their voices became background noise to the trio of women, who now had plenty of time to catch up. 

Chapter Text

“Patty! Patty, wait up!”  

Patty grumbled a curse under her breath, slowly shifting back to her. “What do you want, Lila?”  

“What do I want?” Lila asked incredulously. “You’ve been avoiding me and Jaune all week and you’re asking me what do I want?”  

“Then catch the hint, I have other plans like... uh -”  

“You can’t even think of a good excuse!”  

The blonde girl scowled, a pink shade coloring her cheeks. “Whatever! I just want to go home, does that give you a reason to butt so damn much?”  

“There’s nothing wrong with that, Patty! It’s just -” Lila took a deep breath to calm herself before it could escalate to a screaming match. “We’re just worried, okay? You’ve been pretty distant lately.”  

“... I’ve always been distant, Lila.”  

“Not with us,” she said, taking a step closer to her friend. “I know you don’t want me prying, but does it have anything to do with us?”  

“What? No, Lila, you guys are fine.”  

Unsure of her statement, Lila pursed her lips. “Are you sure? You can tell me anything, Patty.”  

Overwhelmed, she took a step back, ensuring the previous gap stayed the same. “I-I’m sure, Lila.”  

Realizing she wasn’t getting anywhere with her friend, she stayed rooted to her spot, hoping it would ease Patty to being more open to a discussion. “Does... it have anything to do with him?”  

She winced, confirming Lila’s fears. “N-nah, not at all! He’s totally a great guy and you two fit each other really well!”  

“Patty, come on, you can’t lie to me.” Crossing her arms, she peered at her friend with a mix of pity and indifference. “I know that you two don’t get along well, I'm okay with that, but I don’t want to lose what we have just because you don’t like my boyfriend.”  

“Lila, you still don’t get it,” she sighed, hands clenched. “I told you how I feel about him and you haven’t listened, or even taken me seriously.”  

“How do you expect me to react when you haven’t even made the effort to get to know him?”  

The disgruntled blonde rolled her eyes. “Culty boy hasn’t exactly made it easy to be friends with.”  

Lila giggled at the nickname, but quickly suppressed it as best she could. “Patty, I’m into the same things he is, does that make me a culty freak?”  

“What you’re into is completely different from whatever the fuck that guy is into and you and I both know that.”  

“Okay, so, maaaybe he is a little bit obsessed when it comes to talking about satanic rituals -”  

Patty scoffed. “A little is putting it lightly.”  

“- But I enjoy those things too, and it makes me happy that I finally have someone in my life that doesn’t... treat me like I'm some subhuman when it comes to those things.”  

“Lila we never -”  

“And I know you and Jaune don’t think of me like that, but -” she smiled, the kind of smile a child would get when opening a gift on Christmas. “- He’s the only person who ever really engages with me in those kinds of things, and I think he’s... cute when he babbles on about that stuff.”  

The blonde teen felt her chest being crumpled watching Lila gush about her partner. She didn’t trust the boy, but there was another reason she couldn’t stand seeing them together and she refused to acknowledge it. It was better for the two of them if she just left them to their own devices.  

“I’m happy for you, Lila,” she muttered, turning her back to her. “I really am, but as long as that guy sticks around, you can count me out.”  

“... I could break up with him if you want.”  

Eyes wide, she twisted back around, gaping at her. “W-what?”  

“I could break up with him if you want,” she repeated, eyes downcast. “I like him, but I don’t want to lose you.” She paused, taking a deep breath. “You’re one of my closest friends, Patty.”  

She gulped, stunned from her proclamation. Would she really break up with someone just to keep her around? It was selfish, but a voice in the back of her head told her to take advantage of it, to finally get rid of that creep from their circle and rejoin Lila and Jaune.  

Instead, she grits her teeth. “No.”  

Lila’s head perked back up. “I-I’m sorry I didn’t catch tha-”  

“I said, no.” Patty shook her head, a growing red filling her vision. “You’re just doing this out of some fucked up pity for me. For the lonely girl.”  

“Patty, what, I would never-”  

“Fuck off, ever since you’ve been going out with that guy you’ve been treating me like I'm just some background character! Even Jaune notices it and she’s been trying to tell you, but you never listen whenever he’s around!’  

“I-” She was at a loss of words from her friend’s outburst. That couldn’t have been true, no, she refused. “Patty, just because I have other people I want to spend time with doesn’t mean I completely ignore you.”  

“But you do!” Pointing a finger at her, she continued. “And even in the rare chance culty boy isn’t creeping around, you’re always talking about him! Nonstop!”  

She blushed; shoulders slumped. “I-I’m sorry, I-I didn’t know...”  

Patty closed her eyes shut, wondering why she had to make this harder than it had to be. “Well, you know what, that’s fine. It’s fine. You can spend time with him all you want now because I won’t be bothering you anymore.”   

Lila practically lunged, her eyes wavering with a gleam in them as she desperately tried to reach her. “Patty, wait! I didn’t mean to -”  

A pair of hands gripped her shoulders, lightly shoving her away, but the act might as well have shot a canon into her gut. “Stop.” Was the only response her friend whispered; her head hung low. “You can go and be the weird goth chick who dates satanic loving freaks, and I'll stay the same as the loner.”  

As the words left her lips, she immediately felt terrible, but she wanted Lila to go away. Tired of everything over the past weeks. Tired of everyone. Tired of being ignored by the same person she considered a best friend.  

There was a lump clogged in Lila’s throat, Patty’s words crushing her fragile soul with each syllable. Overwhelmed by the crushing sensations in her chest, she sniffled once, rubbing her eyes, and walked away, leaving Patty behind.  

Alone.  

Like she wanted.  

After the incident, she spent the next few hours playing her favorite first-person shooter, turning her brain off as she shot a player in the back of the head as they walked out of the spawn area. She could hear them yelling obscenities at her from the mic, probably directed at her, but she wasn’t in the mood to participate in a toxic screaming match tonight.  

Her phone went off, the jingle confusing her for a split second since no one ever called her phone except for Jaune and Lila. Removing her headphones, she picked up her cell, and was slightly relieved to see Jaune’s nonchalant smile.   

She tapped her phone to answer. “Uh, sup Jaune?”  

“Hey girl,” the other voice responded, surprisingly light in its tone. “Watcha doing?”  

“Shooting some idiots online,” she shifted on the bed into a sitting position. “Why do you ask?”  

“Oh, you know, just wanted to catch up.” She heard Jaune write something down on the other end of the receiver, but her voice remained unwavering. “I’m also really curious as to what you and Lila talked about.”  

Patty was hoping that it wouldn’t come to this. “She told you, huh?”  

“Yep,” she enunciated the word with a pop. “And I get where you’re coming from, Pat, but what you said was really not cool at all.”  

“... I know,” she muttered, hugging her knees close to her chest. “Is she okay?”  

Jaune was silent, allowing the tension to linger before answering. “Lila’s heartbroken right now, Patty. You really hurt her, and I know you didn’t mean it, but you two need to talk now.”  

She shook her head, tears beginning to drown her vision. “I-I can’t.”  

“But, Pat -”  

She hung up before Jaune could finish, and proceeded to bury her face into the fluffs of her pillow, drowning out the crack of bullets firing from her game and the rings from her phone with her sobs.

Patty recalled that day a lot. It was the day she stopped talking to either of them and it wasn’t hard to avoid them since they didn’t share any classes besides cheerleading and no one but them noticed her disappearance during the activity. It was a very lonely last few months of high school, but it was easy to blend in with the crowd when no one but them talked to her.  

That, and she didn’t even attend the graduation ceremony. Just in case they were there to ambush her.  

And yet, despite all those years not having seen them, here they were, standing side by side as if nothing had ever happened – or at least they made it seem that way with how much they were smiling warmly at her.   

“Something wrong, Patty?”  

Lila’s question tore up a wound she thought was healed, instantly making her bow slightly. “Guys, I'm sorry for all the stupid shit I ever said, I was scared, stupid, and you didn’t deserve -”  

“Pat, relax,” Jaune chirped in, fishing a bottle of beer from her coat pocket and swirling the liquid around. “It’s been years, it’s all dust under the bridge for me.”  

“You mean, water under the bridge,” Lila corrected.  

Jaune took a sip of her drink, smacking her lips twice, and glancing quizzically at Lila. “You said something about water?”  

“Never mind,” she said, rolling her eyes. The lavender haired woman took one of Patty’s hands in hers, squeezing it gently. “The same goes for me too, we’ve both grown a lot over the years, I'm just happy to see you again.”  

Patty swallowed, the physical contact making her body stiffen. “D-ditto to you girls, too.”  

“Besides,” Lila continued, letting go of her hand. “You weren’t completely wrong about him back then.”  

Her smile lowered, not reaching her eyes anymore. Along with that reaction, Jaune lowered her bottle, a frown plastered on her face. Rarely did she ever see such a displeased expression from Jaune, usually the most laid back of the three.  

Did her ex do something that bad?  

The brunette coughed, glancing at Lila. “I can go check in on the boys if you need the privacy, Lila.”  

She nodded, “I would appreciate it, Jaune.”   

Jaune rubbed the small of her back to comfort her, and winked once at Patty before sauntering off to find where the monster had run off to with the boys. An awkward moment passed before Patty found her voice to break the ice. “So... you have a kid now.”  

Lila grinned brightly, a small giggle escaping her lips. “Yeah, weird how life turns out, right? I didn’t think of ever having kids back in high school, but my son is one of the best things that’s ever happened in my life.”  

“You look like you handle it well. I mean, you look younger than me and I don’t even have kids.” They both laughed, and Patty could feel the weight of anxiety lifting off her chest before she continued. “I gotta ask though, is he from...”  

“Yes, my son was his,” Lila curtly replied, not enjoying having to say that about her son and his father. When she didn’t continue, Patty rubbed the back of her neck nervously, not entirely liking the idea of her bad feeling being right in retrospective of the cult boy. “Is he out of the picture or did he book it?”  

“Something like that,” she muttered, not meeting her eyes, instead her gaze was focused on the stars above. “I haven’t told anyone what happened to him. Jaune only knows some parts, but -” She bit her lip, forcing herself to stare back at Patty. “You were right, he was into some... supernatural stuff. Deeply and passionately into them, and I went along with it because I loved him despite everything telling me not to.”  

Patty’s brow furrowed, confused at what supernatural things he could have been into, but stayed silent to allow her to speak.  

“He didn’t hit me or yell at me or our son if that’s what you think,” Lila quickly said to disregard those thoughts. “He was a good father to Skid, but to me he was... at some point I didn’t exist to him, and when it came to choosing between me or his other interests -” she paused, out of breath. “- He never chose me.”  

The blonde felt like she was not getting the full story, but nevertheless felt immense sadness for her friend. “Lila, I don’t know what to say... I’m sorry and you deserved a lot better than what you got.”  

“Don’t be sorry, it’s not your fault,” she sighed, her warm features returning back to her face. “Besides, it’s not all a tragedy. Jaune has been there to help me whenever she could when my son was younger. She might as well be his aunt at this point.” Lila turned to her, smirking gleefully. “And speaking of non-tragedies, mister lemon man over there told me you’re a surgeon now?”  

Fuck her ass, she forgot about that lie. “Y-yep! Just like how I always wanted!”  

“That’s amazing,” she said, beaming at her like a proud parent would. “Is that why I never see you around town, saving other people’s lives by doing surgeries?”  

“Oh yeah, the job career of a surgeon definitely takes up a lot of my time, I practically live in the hospital!” She laughed a bit too loudly, “Yep, I just love performing surgery on alive people and doing stuff with alive corpses- I mean, people!”  

Weirded out by her odd behavior, Lila ignored it to keep the conversation going. “And what about, monster? Are you two really friends like he said? I’m asking since that man has the tendency to lie quite a bit.”  

“God, are you kidding me? He’s insufferable most of the time,” she spoke the truth this time, needing to vent about her companion. “I mean, sure he did invite me here so I guess he thinks of me as his friend, but he’s acts like such an asshole, then he does something nice, and somehow he still acts like an asshole when he’s being nice!”  

Lila burst out laughing, wiping a tear from her eye. “That describes him perfectly well, sometimes I can’t believe he’s even stayed alive with how he acts.”  

“Speaking of, that guy told me he tried to kill you twice, you sure you trust him with those kids?”  

The woman broadened her shoulders, a swell of pride swelling up in her chest. “I’m guessing he left out the part where I almost killed him, didn’t he?”  

Patty’s jaw dropped slightly, “Holy shit, no way, really?”  

“It was tough, and I still don’t know how I did it, but by the end of our fight I had him pinned to the ground.” She paused, wincing at the memory. “My son and his friend stopped me, and it’s probably for the best that I didn’t. I’m better than that. Still, I can’t help, but feel proud of myself for overcoming him.”  

The image of a blood-soaked Lila towering the beaten body of the lemon monster sent a chill down her spine, both alluring and frightening at the same time. “Are you kidding?” Patty fist bumped her shoulder, a wide grin meeting Lila’s. “You’re my hero for knocking that shithead down a peg! I’ve been wanting to do that ever since I met the guy!”  

They both shared a laugh, nearly doubling over and causing a few onlookers to stare questionably at them. Neither of them cared, however.  

“W-wait,” Patty gasped, pointing a finger at her. “Is that why he likes you so much? Cause you showed him what’s what?”  

Lila blushed, rubbing her arm unconsciously. “I guess, so? I am not entirely sure if I’m being honest with you.”  

“But you know he likes you, right?”  

“... Yes.”  

“And I mean,  like likes  you.” She emphasized, eager to not be the one teased for once. “Seriously, all that guy has done is gush about you ever since I met him.  Especially  after he saw you in the shower.”  

“Patty, I know, okay!” She whispered harshly, her blush deepening in color. “He hasn’t exactly kept his crush on me subtle, I'm not that blind.”  

The blonde shrugged her shoulders. “That’s fair, but how do you feel about it?”  

She sighed, leaning against a booth, eyes set on the ground. “I don’t know. I feel like I’m going crazy because instead of finding him terrifying I’m... finding him cute.”  

Patty narrowed her eyes, slightly disgusted. “No fucking way, he actually has a chance.”  

“Ugh, shut up,” Lila groaned, covering her face with her hands. “It’s embarrassing and I feel weird for thinking that.”  

She may think he’s an asshole, but he is the same asshole who helped her get in touch with Lila and Jaune again. The least she can do is help push her in his direction. Hopefully she wouldn’t regret it.  

“... What made you start to like him?”  

“Patty, a lot has happened since our last fight.” Lila hummed in thought. “He’s sweeter than you think. Maybe it’s because of his crush on me, but he’s been helping out with the kids, even cooked for them. And sometimes when he thinks I'm not looking, he stares at me with these puppy eyes and -” She pinched the bridge of her nose, shutting off her rambling. “I hate myself for thinking he’s cute when he shouldn’t be.”  

“Yeah, but to be fair, you’ve always liked weird stuff,” Patty pointed out.   

Lila smiled softly. “Yes, I supposed I have.”  

“So... you going to do anything about it?”  

“I don’t know if that would be right choice,” she muttered, her eyes half-lidded. “My son and his friend adore him, and he’s gotten along better with them, but Skid very much remembers his father, and I don’t want to make him uncomfortable. Besides, I don’t even know how his anatomy works, and how would we even kiss or just -” She stopped, her eyes shaking. “I just don’t want history to repeat.”  

“I don’t know much about the kid, but you don’t have to worry about his feelings for you, Lila.”  

She huffed, glancing indignantly at Patty. “What makes you say that? I don’t want him eating people anymore, but you never know. One day he could get hungry and choose to ignore me – killing some random person.”  

“I didn’t say it would be perfect, Lila. Especially with him.” The blonde placed her hand on her shoulder, it felt awkward, but she did it to reassure her. “He’s done a lot of stupid crap just to impress you. I get the feeling he would sacrifice a lot to be with you as well.”  

She stayed silent, unsure if the butterflies in her stomach and the beating of her heart thrumming against the chest was natural. She hadn’t felt like this in such a long time, but she wasn’t a teenager anymore. She needed to think more on this and -  

A booming roar broke her thoughts, shaking the ground beneath them. Several families decided that it was the perfect time to grab their kids and move away from the source. Lila and Patty stared at the place where it came from, a large booth, probably the biggest one in the fair with a massive crowd surrounding it, cheering for the names of some competitors.  

“That was definitely him,” Patty sighed.  

For some odd reason, Lila found herself grinning ear to ear.  

Chapter Text

It was so difficult to tear himself away from his favorite human. It was supposed to be his night after all – to confess all the smooshy and squeezy feeling he had for her, but instead he left Patty with her for the two to have some closure. He could already imagine the two of them hugging, crying, hugging some more, and performing many more acts of disgusting meaty feelings. It sent a growl up his throat just thinking about his yellow friend receiving all those touches before him.  

It was a good thing the kids were around to distract him. He liked Patty; it would be a shame to kill her now after everything they’ve been through.  

“Aw man, the line is really long,” Pump groaned, pointing at the backs of several dozen humans, most being young children with their parents and whining about the same issue. It was going to take them all night if they stayed here.  

Luckily, he never played by the rules. The monster lowered his arms, allowing them time to jump off and settle back unto their feet. “I will shorten this line for us.”  

Using his claw, he dug it into the shoulder of the man in front of him, making him shriek from the sudden pain. “What the hell man?! Who do you think you... are.” He stopped realizing who it was, “y-you’re h-him.”  

“And you’re mine.” Widening his pupils, he peered inside the man’s consciousness; small compared to the other delicious parts of his body. “The human over there,” guiding him with a swift motion of his thumb to a man wearing an aviator hat and misshapen goggles laughing along with what appeared to be his twin as they sluggishly drank beer together. “Punch him and that other one too.”  

“Yes, master,” he murmured, his eyes blank from his spell. Human minds were so easily malleable, and it only took a suggestion for them to follow his orders, but it was a boring tactic. The game of cat and mouse was much more fun when the prey is unwilling to give in to him; it would prove useful in lessening the line, however.  

Skid spoke up. “And then say you’re say sorry after punching them!”  

“And a hug too!” Pump suggested.  

The human froze, and the monster frowned, believing they had broken his hypnosis, but thankfully the human nodded in response, bidding his farewell with a final “yes, master.” All three waved goodbye as he continued his path to the drunken duo.  

The two homeless men continued laughing not noticing the stranger approaching them until they were face to face. “Wassup my man!” The shorter of the duo offered his bottle to the man. “Wanna share a drink with me and my buddy?”  

A fist collided against his nose, and down he fell along with his bottle, shattering against the concrete and spraying a dark yellow liquid among their feet. His partner stood still; mouth open in shock before it morphed into rage. “WHY DID YOU DO THAT?! I WAS ABOUT TO DRINK HIS PISS, YOU JERK!”  

The absurdity of the statement broke the hypnosis, bringing the man quickly back to reality. “Wait, you two were drinking pi-”  

“THIS ONE’S FOR YOU DUDE!” Without a second thought, a bottle was smashed down his skull, sending him tumbling to the piss-covered floor. The commotion garnered the attention of people around them, including a large chunk of the people waiting in line.  

“HOBO FIGHT!”  

Several broke out of the line to watch the homeless man put his partner’s attacker in a headlock, swaying back and forth while yelling obscenities at the sky for his lost urine. A crowd formed around them, cheering on the fight. The monster whistled in astonishment at how fast the chaos grew, but tugged on the sleeves of the children to drag them onto the ride. Getting a closer view of the contraption, he was disappointed that the bumper cars were less like cars and more like disrespectful toy versions of their bigger counterparts, their only advantage being the flashy lights blinking rapidly on their sides. He wasn’t even sure if the tiny cars would be able to accommodate his lanky body or his newly grown tummy.  

“We want to get on the cars, please!” Skid prompted the chubby man at the front of the ride. He sighed, opening the gate, his eyes placed on the fight a few feet away from them.  

“And we’re getting on there, too!”  

He recognized that high pitched nasal voice anywhere. Not even bothering to turn around, he addressed them. “You three here to cause trouble?”  

“Oh, hey guys, you want to ride the bumper cars, too?” Pump asked, surprised at their sudden inclusion.  

Roy snickered, arms crossed confidently while Robert and Ross were content to let him do the talking. “With you dweebs? Nah, I'm good, I just wanted to show you how it’s done.”  

“But Roy,” Robert tapped his shoulder, confused from the turn of events. “I thought you said the bumper cars were for babies.”  

“Shut up,” he hissed, swatting his hand away. “I changed my mind, is that so wrong?”  

Both of his friends stared at him, glancing between him and the boys peeking their heads around the monster’s legs. Ross sighed, adjusting his beanie. “Is this about messing with those kids again? It’s getting kinda old, dude.”  

Roy grit his teeth, seemingly about to have a temper tantrum before he added in a slow whisper. “It’s just bumper cars, it’s not even bullying if we ram them! Stop being so weird about it, and let’s go!”  

The attendant’s monotone voice broke through their argument. “Are you three going in too?”  

The short boy swiftly turned around, annoyed that the monster had ignored them and picked his own black bumper car with lightning sprayed on the sides. Struggling with his size for a few seconds, he tucked his legs into his chest to comfortably sit in it while Skid and Pump got into another decorated with skulls together.  

Growling at the sight, he practically shoved past the attendant who barely blinked in response. Ross sighed, following his friend, but Robert stuck behind for a second, peering up at the bored-looking man. Reluctantly, he addressed the boy, “there something you need?”  

“Yeah, you worked with my brother, right?” Robert snapped his fingers, eyeing his nametag, and smiling. “He mentioned inviting you over to hang out with us after you got suspended from the movies.”  

“He did do that,” he said, zero indication of life in his eyes. “And I didn’t go because half the time I wish my eyes never open again.”  

Robert’s smile fell into a thin line. “Oh.”  

“...”  

“ROBERT! GET OVER HERE, WE’RE GONNA START WITHOUT YOU!”  

“Dude, chill! I’m coming!” Giving a nervous grin to Rick, he added, “Well, Radford says hi! You have his number if you ever need it!”  

“Mhm.”  

The green hooded boy jumped onto the nearest bumper car while Ross sat comfortably in his own. Roy leaned up to sneer at Skid and Pump who gave each other nervous glances. Rick pressed a button on his side and the ride roared to life, a disco ball descending from the roof and bright lights bouncing off the walls. The monster rolled his eyes, and raised a claw into the air.  

Realizing what he was doing, Ross and Robert tried to drive away from him, but it was too late. With a snap of his fingers the other cars sprang alive, violently crashing onto their sides, forcing them into a tight circle and trapping them with the monster. “This is much better,” he cackled, turning the wheel and heading straight for Robert who screamed and wisely drove away from him as fast as his vehicle could go. Ross bravely chased after them. Despite knowing how futile it was, he was still willing to help defend his friend.  

While the monster was busy terrorizing the two, Roy took it upon himself to inflict his own brand of terror. “Well, well,” he taunted, hands ready at the wheel. “You guys ready to be owned?”  

“It is you that is going to be owned, Roy!” Skid yelled, one hand on the wheel and the other pointing indignantly at him.  

Roy sneered, using his thumb to indicate the scene unfolding behind him. “Your lemon guy is too busy to protect you this time. This time, you twerps are going to get yours!”  

“We don’t need Mr. Lemon to beat you, Roy!” Pump spoke, a rare frown on his face. “We will show you what happens when you mess with spooky month!”  

“Again, with that stupid gimmick! It’s not October you dumb little -”  

Skid pressed on the pedal, cutting him off as he rammed headfirst into Roy’s car. He was sent back a few feet, surprised by their boldness, but it quickly changed into pure rage. “I WILL GET YOU FOR THAT!”  

Both Skid and Pump stuck their tongues out, only further enraging him and they met in the middle, their torsos swaying violently back and forth from the speed of their bumper cars. This time, however, Roy had a mean glint in his eye as he pulled out a straw from his pocket, aiming at the skeleton wearing driver.  

“Skid! Watch out!”  

Skid tried dodging, rapidly turning the wheel to the right, but Roy had used this practice for many years and thus was a skilled marksman, nailing the wet spitball right onto Skid’s right eye.  

“OW! GROSS!” He whined, taking his hands off the wheel to swiftly wipe away the spit covering his eyelid, and with no one on the wheel it was the perfect distraction for Roy to start his attack.  

“THAT’S CHEATING, ROY!” Pump exclaimed.  

“MAKE ME STOP THEN!” He drove the car into them, pushing them back with little resistance, and for the next few minutes he repeated the cycle, mercilessly forcing them against the other bumper cars who were happy to aid in his conquest. Skid did his best to regain control, but he could barely see with one eye covered in his bully’s spit.  

On the other side of the ring, things were not looking good for neither Ross or Robert. “ROSS! HE’S GAINING ON ME DUDE, DO SOMETHING!”  

“RUN! RUN YOU WEAKLING!” The monster bellowed, cackling with glee, electric sparks radiating from his toy car. “IT’S A GAME OF LIFE OR DEATH, YOUR LIFE IS ON THE LINE AND I AM YOUR RINGMASTER! DO YOU CHOOSE TO FIGHT OR DO YOU CONTINUE TO RUN?!  

“WE ARE IN BUMPER CARS!” Ross screeched from behind, only adding to his amusement. Mere inches from the boy, he stretched his arm outward, his claws ready to nick Robert by the hoodie, but a foreign sound reached his ears.  

Was that whimpering coming from Skid?  

He released the throttle, causing Ross to crash behind him, and knocking the wind out of him, but he never was one to focus on pain. His eyes honed in on Skid and Pump doing their best to fight back against their abuser, but it was clearly not enough. Roy was using his control of the ring against them; pinning them against the circle of bumper cars. That was one reason that set him off, but what truly made his blood boil was watching Skid’s eyes. Something wet covered his right eye, but on the other eye, a glint of a tear could be seen forming.  

That boy was never sad. Hell, he thought he was incapable of crying, and how could he be? He had that lovely human for a mother. It seemed impossible, like something science cannot explain, but the evidence was right there in front of him.  

It pissed him off.  

A massive roar erupted from his throat, breaking his control of their surroundings. The ring of bumper cars retreated, giving the boys the space they need to get away from Roy, but he wasn’t done yet. He lunged from his car, landing in front of their bully who immediately shrank back in fear.  

“You.” He spoke with venom in his tongue. “Who do you think you are, boy ?”  

“I-I-”  

“I like you, so I’ll do you a favor and tell you what you are,” he hissed, slamming his foot down on the hood of the bumper car. “You are meat.”  

Roy wanted to get away, but he was trapped, the mental locks of mind melting away as the monster broke them down with his gaze. “And I will show you what meat is used for.”  

“Mr. Lemon.”  

A small hand tugged his sleeve, forcing him to look away from Roy, and down to Skid who had wiped away his tears, but still held a firm stare back at him. “Don’t do what you did to my mom to Roy.”  

A pang of guilt pierced his heart, clearing the fog of hate and mild hunger clouding his thoughts. It wasn’t fair, it’s not as if it was entirely malicious, he was standing up for the children after all, but their disapproving stares made him step down. Robert and Ross did not know why the monster had suddenly roared at Roy, but knowing him, they guessed it had to do with the kids.  

“Hey, someone’s calling for you guys at the front.”  

The monster huffed, giving Roy a fake grin as he lifted him off the bumper car and back onto his feet, dusting him off as if he did no wrong. “You heard the man, let’s be on our merry way, shall we?”  

“Uh huh,” Roy responded timidly, running back into the embrace of his friends who began to barrage him with questions of what happened. Exhaling through his mouth, he turned to the boys, their vulnerable forms making him think three times before asking, “You two okay?”  

Pump nodded, but Skid took a second to respond with a “yeah.”  

Human children usually found safeness in the arms of their parents. Perhaps this was one of those times. His claw patted the skeleton boy on back, “I can take you back to your mother if you like.”  

“No, I’m okay, Mr. Lemon, really.” He stood up straight, puffing his chest. “Me and Pump can handle Roy... most of the time.”  

“He’s just a dumb bully,” Pump added, looking up and giving the monster a thumbs up. “Thanks a lot for helping though!”  

He coughed, looking away from them. “We should take our leave then if you two are alright.”  

Stepping outside, they could see the trio standing next to a brunette, who was happily taking a drink from a bottle while they spoke of what happened. When they stepped closer, she waved them over, “Yo! It sounded like you guys had a wild time in there!”  

The monster couldn’t remember her name, but nodded all the same. “Yes, these little rascals caused quite the ruckus from me. Isn’t that right, fellas?”  

They all nodded dumbly, and Jaune chuckled, none the wiser. “I didn’t even know you knew who my boy is.”  

He blinked, his gaze trailing over each of them before staring back at her. “One of these spawns is yours?”  

Ross shyly put his hand up, “It’s uh, me.”  

“Yeah, come on, can't you see the resemblance?” Jaune laughed, ruffling his beanie. “I mean, I know he dyed his hair, but we’re practically twins!”  

“Mom, stop embarrassing me in front of everyone,” he whispered, using his beanie to cover his hair.  

Jaune laughed, ruffling his beanie gently this time. “Alright, kiddo, I'll back off for now.”  

During their exchange, he squinted his eyes to peer at the both of them, trying to find any resemblance, but he couldn’t for the life of him find a resemblance nor did he know what dyeing your hair meant. A whiff of something delicious caught his attention, and he found himself sniffing the air.  

“Something up, lemon guy?”  

“Yes,” he responded, licking his chops. “I smell cooked meat somewhere close and I want it.”  

“Ah, that’s just the hot dog eating contest. They do it every year.”  

Ross looked up at his mom, a glimmer of excitement in his eyes. “Are you going to participate this year, mom?”  

She smirked, thinking it over before shaking her head. “Nah, that was just a one time thing, kiddo, and I’m too buzzed to eat that much again.”  

“I told you bringing beer to the fair was going to be a bad idea!”  

“All bad ideas lead to a good time, sweetie.”  

“... What is a hot dog?”  

Skid excitedly said, “You’ll love it, Mr. Lemon! It’s got all your favorite things!”  

“Stuff like meat and bread and...” Pump paused trying to think of something else, but shrugged. “And more meat, I guess.”  

“And Miss Jaune is a legend here in the fair!” Robert spoke up, admiration in his eyes. “Last year she ate eighty hot dogs in under ten minutes!”  

Roy bumped Ross’ shoulder playfully. “I still can’t believe your mom did that during her first time either, it was the coolest thing I ever saw a mom do.”  

“Fellas, fellas, I can sign your autographs later, just make sure to form a line.”  

They all laughed; everyone, except for the monster that is. “You say you’re a legendary eater?”  

“Weeeell, I mean,” Jaune exaggerated her head movements from side to side to act as if she was thinking it over. “That is what they call me, and I totally live up to that title.”  

“You?” He scoffed, ogling her figure. “You’re a human. A skinny one at that.”  

She pursed her lips, “You trying to say something, lemon guy?”  

“I was born an eater, birthed to consume until nothing is left.” His claw pointed at her, almost accusatory. “You have no right to that title.”  

Everyone gasped, the statement making it clear that he was challenging her right to hold the title for best eater of the town. Jaune was unfazed, her smile never leaving her face before she downed the entire contents of her bottle and wiping her mouth clean.  

“You’re on.”  

There were a lot of obese humans in this contest. He wasn’t one to talk, the past couple of days of having nothing but human junk food affecting his physique drastically, but even he wasn’t fat to the point where he couldn’t walk. If it weren’t the plates of hot dogs in front of him he might have lunged across the table and eaten his competitors.  

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! A LEGEND RETURNS TO US! WE WELCOME BACK THE SAUSAGE MISTRESS HERSELF! MISS JAUNE!”  

The crowd practically blew up in applause as she sat onto her seat, waving back at the crowd with such ease that he almost envied. She then addressed the other competitors, winking at them, “Miss me, boys?”  

“Jaune? And I thought you humiliated us enough last year,” the large man next to her laughed, scratching his beard. “You back to break your own record or to set us straight again?”  

“Actually, this chum here,” she pointed at the monster, who waved at the competitors with a hungry gaze. “That guy doesn’t believe the stories about me, and it’s my duty to set him straight.”  

They all laughed, “By the end of the night, I'm sure our lemon headed friend will be a true believer of the sausage mistress.”  

He ignored the pitiful stares they gave him. Sausage mistress his ass. How much could a single human eat in just a few minutes? Certainly not more than him.  

“GET READY!”  

His tongue darted across his maw, saliva dripping onto the table.  

“SET!”  

Jaune held a hotdog in her hand, inspecting it as if it were a watch.  

“EAT!”  

The monster unhinged his jaw, widening it beyond humanly possible and slammed it down onto the pile of hotdogs laid before him. The crowd emitted sounds of disgust, as he guzzled down a dozen hot dogs down his throat in just three gulps. It was delicious, the temperatures of both the glizzy and the bun sending tingles down his spine. If it wasn’t a competition, he would have taken his time to savor it.  

“YOU CAN DO IT, MOM!”  

“GO MISS JAUNE, GO!”  

Why the hell were they cheering for her when he was clearly winning. His eyes went to check on what she was doing and what he saw shocked him to his core. The human had finished her plate, just as he had, and all he saw was the end of the final bun disappearing into her lips. With her mouth full, she addressed him with a “sfup brof?”  

“YOU CAN DO IT, MR. LEMON!”  

“YEAH, EAT EVERYTHING LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO.”  

He would never admit it, but hearing the boys cheer for him gave him the push he needed to continue despite being flabbergasted by Jaune’s ability to consume a dozen hot dogs in seconds like he could. Not wanting to fall behind, he grabbed another plate of hot dogs from one of the assistants, piling several into his open mouth before closing his jaw and crushing them beneath his teeth.  

By the fifth minute he was starting to get sick of the food. It was starting to taste bland from how much he was consuming.  

The seventh minute he felt his stomach protesting that it was full, but he pushed on, refusing to give any sense of victory to a human.  

The final minute was torture. The other competitors have dropped out, leaving just him and Jaune to continue the final push, but even he could tell she was at her limit as well. They both watched one another, downing a hot dog each second down their throats as each second passed. Her secret to eating was dousing the food in water and then shoving it down her throat for easy passage. Humans would call it resourceful, but for him it was just cheating.  

The clock was ticking, the final ten seconds counting down for the two of them. He held two hot dogs, just enough to beat her, while she only held one, her hand trembling and for once, her grin was struggling to stay up.  

“This is it, sausage lady,” he wheezed, raising the items above his mouth. “You los-”  

“KICK HIS ASS, JAUNE!”  

“YOU CAN DO IT, GIRL!”  

Nearly dropping his food, he spotted a blob of yellow and purple in the front. Patty? Lila? They were cheering for her? His heart fell into dejection, joining his stomach in their shared pain, leaving Jaune to finish her final hot dog.  

“AND SHE DOES IT AGAIN, FOLKS!” The announcer cheered, the crowd clapping for her. “LET’S GIVE IT UP FOR ALL THE COMPETIORS!”  

He threw the food onto the ground. What was he, a child? Did he really want validation that badly that he threw a match because of it? He couldn’t help it, he just wanted Lila to say his name with that much vigor, too.”  

“Hey.”  

The monster looked up at Jaune, who gave him a thumbs up and a shaky smile. “You really were a natural born eater like you said.” She held out a hand to him. “No hard feelings?”  

He sighed, giving her a handshake, but secretly fantasying ways to pile her sliced body parts into a bun. “No hard feelings...”  

“Good,” she said, wincing in pain. “Also, wanna run to the nearest trashcan and puke all this shit out?”  

His stomach grumbled in agreement.  

Chapter Text

He had never puked before. Coughing up blood from internal bleeding, sure, but watching the bile froth from his mouth and down into the trash hurt. All that food gone to waste. He was half tempted to reach inside and scoop up the vomit, but Lila would most likely find that disgusting.  

“Jesus Christ, you guys.” Patty muttered, holding Jaune’s hair back as she continued to heave the food from the past ten minutes into the trash one last time. “We leave you alone for a few minutes and you’re already doing something stupid.” 

“It wasn’t stupid,” the monster burped, patting his stomach. “It was about pride! Glory! Eating! All things important! Isn’t that right, sausage woman?” 

Jaune nodded woozily, swaying a little too far to the ground before Patty and Ross caught her by both arms. “Wuzzat you said? Wannazz go again, guy?” 

Opening his mouth to accept another challenge, he felt someone’s hand land on his back, and quickly bared his teeth to yell at the person who did so, only to immediately falter when he was met with Lila’s amused face. “Give her a break, she’s only human after all.” 

Soft...  

Snapping out of his trance, he sidestepped away from her hand before he lost his nerves. “Yes, yes, I'll go easy on your human friend for now.” 

“Rossy, sweetie,” Jaune muttered, leaning down to hug her son. “My stomach really hurts...”  

Ross sighed, looking up at Lila. “Sorry, Miss Lila, but can you help me get my mom to somewhere where we can sit for a bit?” 

“Of course, Ross!” Patty moved away for Lila gently hold her friend’s arm as she swayed back and forth. She laughed, letting them drag her feet across the floor. “You two are so sweet to me!” 

The others moved to join them, but Patty thrusted her arm in front of the monster, stopping his path. “Actually, Lila, me and Monster here are going to use the restrooms for a bit.” 

The monster blinked, turning his head to stare at her blankly. “But I don’t need to use the -” 

She shut him up with a jab to his stomach. “Meet us back here whenever you’re done, kay?” She said through gritted, not so subtly sending a message to him with narrowed eyes. He grunted, glaring back with equal distaste. “Yes, we will wait for you here, Lila.” 

They all shrugged, moving on, save for Lila whose questioning gaze lingered on the two of them for little a longer than they would have liked before being dragged off by the group.  

“Was that really necessary, Pat?” The monster grumbled, rubbing his stomach. “I could have thrown up my food again and that wouldn’t have been fun for anyone.” 

She rolled her eyes, uncaring of his pain. “Get over it, we have bigger things to worry about, remember?” 

Opening his mouth to answer, he found himself briefly confused because he did not have a clue of what she was talking about. “Did you want something from me?” 

Patty closed her eyes and sighed. “The whole confession thing to my friend, the one you have the hots for and haven’t shut up about for the past day and a half? Any of this ring a bell?” 

“Oh, that.” A smile, too wide for his mouth formed. “I... might have forgotten about it.” 

“What do you mean you forgot about it?!” She exclaimed, poking her index finger against his chest. “You dragged me here in the first place, I thought you had a plan for all this!” 

“I did have a plan,” he growled, flicking her hand away. “That was until you were reunited with those two, how was that by the way?” 

She did not miss the sarcastic undertone of his question. “It was great, real heartfelt, just. Really uplifting for my soul.” Sending a glare his way, she added, “You know, while you were off doing God knows what with the kids and Jaune.” 

“It’s not my fault you got all sappy with MY human,” he growled, crossing his arms. “Besides, after all that, I’m not so sure if I should do it tonight.” 

“What the fuck,” Patty said, mouth agape. “You drag me on an emotional rollercoaster for your own ends only for you to chicken out?!” 

He sighed, glancing wistfully at the direction Lila had taken. “Recently none of my plans have exactly come to fruition. Half the time it’s interrupted by idiot children or blonde doctors.” Shuffling in place, he looked down at his claws, rubbing them together as if to make sure he was present in the situation. “I don’t want this to end up like last time.” 

If only he knew.  

“You’re overthinking this way too much, the worst thing she can do is say no, right?” A shadow draped over the monster’s features, and she began to retract the statement. “Look, the sooner you do this, the better you will feel. Trust me, I just went through it.” 

“What do you suggest then?! There are too many people around her, and I don’t intend to share that moment with them. It should be with her only.” 

Patty waved his concern away. “Jaune is probably kissing a bench right now, and I can get the kids away from you two to buy you time.” 

A sound idea, but he wracked his head to find another excuse. “I still need a place to take her. I don’t care myself, but it needs to be somewhere pretty. Humans like pretty things.” A moment of silence passed. “Like her.” 

She rolled her eyes, pointing at something behind him. “What about the ferris wheel?” 

The name did nothing to persuade him, but he turned around anyways. The amusement ride consisting of a large upright wheel rotating on a fixed stand and having seats around its rim suspended freely with people – men and women giggling amongst themselves or had their arms wrapped around each other like gloves. The manner in which they stared at one another, it made his blood boil with envy, but if he could get that sort of reaction from Lila... 

“Uh, are you blushing?” 

“I AM!” He shouted, mouth wide, clenching his teeth. “I mean - fine! I’ll do it. I will take her to this wheel if you can do your end.” 

“Whatever, just don’t do anything crazy.” 

“What are you two talking about?” Startled by Lila’s voice, Patty shrieked, accidentally stomping on the monster’s foot. A deafening crack from the bone shattering was released, but to her surprise, he simply inhaled, and focused on Lila. 

“Hello.” He said, with as much affection as he could muster to hide the gnawing pain. 

Lila glanced worriedly at his foot, before meeting his eyes. “Um, hi?” 

The human and monster stood rigidly, with Lila’s eyes beginning to falter from making eye contact, and the monster’s claws tapping against leg. The group of children behind her were starting to get impatient, with Skid’s hand ready to tug on his mother’s pants, but Patty quickly took the initiative, stepping in between them. “H-Hey kids! Wanna go get some cotton candy?” 

They all nodded eagerly, save for Roy who huffed in annoyance. “You guys better not ruin it with your cruddy spook month.” 

The phrase sounded oddly familiar to her, but she decided against her better judgement to ask, “What’s spooky month?” 

Skid and Pump, the two smallest of the group looked up at her, their eyes widening with glee and their smiles reaching the edges of their cheeks, giving the lemon monster a run for his money. “You don’t know what spooky month is?” 

Ross, Roy, and Robert groaned, knowing what was to come.  

The monster and Lila watched their blonde friend try her best to communicate with the kids about their favorite holiday, but they could tell by her stiff posture and awkward stance that she had no experience with children, and was utterly failing to keep up with what they were saying. The lemon man rarely felt pity, so instead of helping his friend, he tapped on Lila’s shoulder to gain her attention. “Ferris wheel.” 

Lila’s brow twitched. “What about it?” 

She is going to make this difficult for him, isn’t she? “Want to go on it?” 

Her eyes darted to Patty struggling with her son and his friend while the other kids chipped in with their own commentary. She placed a finger under her chin, debating his question before asking with a knowing smile. “With just me?” 

“Er -” Nearly choking, he pushed forwards. “Y-yes, just you.” 

“Sure!” She responded, proceeding to walk ahead of him. Noticing a lack of a horrifying eldritch creature next to her, she whipped her head back to spot him standing in the same spot, staring off into space. “If you’re feeling sick then maybe we should find something else to do.” 

That broke his trance, “No! We’re going on that wheel no matter what!”  he dashed next to her, and to her astonishment she spotted a tint of pink in his cheeks. He did his best to hide them by fluffing his coat, but his meekness gave it away. The thought of teasing him enticed her, but she thought better of it, thinking he had enough stress tonight.  

Still, she could feel herself getting warm at the thought of making him squirm. She shook her head, dissuading those thoughts. He could have a crush on her if he wants – it was oddly cute, but it wouldn’t be normal if she started to reciprocate his feelings. Convincing herself that she was not going to act on impulse, she stepped into the passenger car, taking the seat furthest away to give him some space as he sat down next to her, but leaving a small gap between them. A woman in a box pressed a couple of buttons on her end, making the contraption groan and hiss as it began to slowly rise, no doubt rusty from many years of use. Lila half wondered if the fairground would ever replace it or wait until it would stop working to do something about it. 

However, with all its fault, she always enjoyed riding the ferris wheel. She looked up at the stars with a smile, closing her eyes as she inhaled the cold night air deeply into her lungs. The monster stared at her; eyes locked on her figure. He felt out of place next to her, with how angelic she looked with that blissful smile, and her silky lavender locks. Instinct told him to reach out, and he did – his claw inches away from tangling them deep in the lovely nest that was her hair, but then she opened her eyes. Suddenly all color drained from his face. 

They stared at each other, Lila in confusion asked, “Were you... reaching for my hair?” 

Forcing his other arm to shove his claw down, he replied in a nervous sweat. “Not at all! I was just checking to see if you were alive, is all.” 

Lila snorted, leaning back as if to challenge him. “All I did was close my eyes.” 

“Humans only close their eyes when they’re dead around me,” he stated, and that was a fact, not a lie. A rarity for him. “We’ve been through so much together; I would hate to have to lose you after we were just starting to get along.” 

“We have been through a lot, haven’t we?” She said wistfully, glancing away.  

Her tone made him gulp, it made him think he said something wrong. The monster opened his mouth to say something – anything, but he couldn’t get the words out. She wasn’t even looking at him, but he could tell something was bothering her, and he wanted to know, so he could kill the source.  

No, he wasn’t here for a manslaughter for once, he was here to confess. To tell her of his feelings or else his heart was going to literally and figuratively burst out of his chest. Gripping the rims of their seats, he slammed his face down onto the railing, effectively shocking Lila to gape at his action. “What are you -” 

“Lila, I have something I need to get off my chest,” he began, the front of his face feeling sore. “When I met you, I thought of you as any other human. Meat. A plaything for my amusement. I did not expect you to fight back with such ferocity. It was... humbling. I’ve clashed with bigger, and yet, I admit I saw your rageful face in my dreams, ready to take my life.” 

Lila opened her mouth in shock, “I - I’m sorry, I didn’t -” 

He held up a claw, “You did what had to be done. I started our feud, and in the end I lost.” Saying that he lost made him wince, but he continued. “And then you continued to humble me with that brat of yours.”  

“You mean, my son?” She said sourly, glaring at him. 

“Uh, yes, your son.” He hastily corrected. “You two hold a great love for another, a love that the boy himself wanted to share,” he mused, chuckling to himself. “I don’t know if he gets it from you, but he and his pumpkin friend continue to shower me with attention, and I'm sure I don’t deserve it.” 

“You don’t,” she quipped with a small smile. “But it makes me happy knowing that he’s helped you out of your funk.” 

“You too, you know.” 

“Me?” His statement of her helping him confused her. “I don’t think I have done a lot to help you, no offense.” 

“But you have.” The monster’s stutter now gone, he leaned in, but leaving the gap the same between them. “Prior to our final fight, when I was down in the dumps and cuddling my lovely, you offered help, despite everything that’s happened.” Lila thought back to that moment, how witnessing him being reduced to a shaking mess on the ground with a corpse had made her feel pity before he attacked. “You’re just as compassionate as your son, and yet with a fire in your heart. You’re a one-of-a-kind human, truly.” 

Not knowing what to say after the shower of compliments and with her cheeks flaring up, she turned her head away to hide the effect his words had on her. “Y-yes, w-w-well thank you, that was really sweet of you to say.” 

“I was not done,” he added, his fidgeting returning at full force. “I uh... t-think you are a very pretty human too. You smell pretty too all the time. And that’s not just because of the shower thing!” He laughed loudly to cover his embarrassment. “You’re lovely in the shower... b-but I also think you’re beautiful with clothes on and uh -” 

“Oh god, stop,” Lila murmured, sinking into her seat as her cheek rose in temperature. “I know you like me, okay, just stop.” 

The monster froze, scared for just a moment thinking she did not enjoy the words he was pouring out to her before realization dawned on him. “Wait, that’s not fair!” 

Lila sat back up properly in her seat, fanning herself to get rid of her blush. “W-what’s not fair?” 

He scowled at her. “I was supposed to say it first, not you!” 

Lila stared at him incredulously for a few seconds before bursting out laughing. The irony being lost on him entirely. “I - I’m sorry, you were being too adorable, I couldn’t help myself.” 

Now it was his turn to feel warm in the face as he crossed his arms over his chest, mumbling something about plans going wrong. Her giggles made his chest tingle, giving him the strength to say what he wanted to despite his disappointment. “Although, you are wrong about one thing.” 

She met his eyes, and her bubbly grin stayed the same. “And what could I be wrong about, hm?” 

“I don’t like you.” The sentence made her smile fall, the twinkle in her eyes fizzling out until he added, “I love you.” 

Lila could practically feel the steam erupting from her eyes, and inspected his face to check for any second guesses or a sigh of manipulation, but he remained eerily calm, waiting for her response. “M-monster, loving someone is a pretty big commitment, I don’t know if that’s how you really feel.” 

“You don’t understand.” He pointed to his chest with a jab of his claw. “I don’t share emotions the same way you humans do. Your kind are often conflicted on how to act on them, but I have always acted on what I felt or wanted, but with you I haven’t. I think about you every day and it pains me to not have told you this sooner.” His claw reached for her hand, his sharp digits enclosing around her warm and nimble fingers. “I can tell by your scent that you feel the same, but I want to hear it from your mouth. Do you love me too?” 

Every second of him talking was making it harder to breath. It was as if his tangents about hunger were replaced with love and it was overwhelming her to think that someone could feel that way about her. However, knowing all this, there was one lingering seed of doubt in her mind. “Do you remember the first human you told me you fell in love with?” 

His smile fell, but he nodded silently. 

She gulped. “What would you do if I said no like she did?” 

The monster fought the urge to growl, past emotions beginning to surface, but he was able to fight it down by tightening his grip on her warm hand. Focusing it on that helped. “I am not a good person, Lila. I have been a selfish bastard my whole life, and haven’t regretted a moment of it.” He paused, watching her eyes sadly droop. “But you’ve changed me too much... I would retreat somewhere far from this town. Perhaps a place where it’s less populated with humans.” 

“But why?” Lila asked, her fingers soothingly rubbing against his thumb, sending a chill down his spine. “You’ve changed for the better, the boys love you, you helped Patty reconnect with us, you have so many reasons to stay with us.” 

“No,” he said with a finality as if there was no other option from the beginning. “You may have thought I was a lunatic when I was hungry, but when it comes to love, there is no telling how I might react, and I don’t want to repeat what happened by eating all your friends.” Her grip slackened, but he held tightly, forcing her stay in their bubble. “Which is why it’s either that or you end me before it comes to that.” 

Lila’s eyes widened, thunderstruck by his implication. “You would let me kill you?” 

“... It’s only right.” He whispered, unable to look at her as he glanced down at their joined hands. “I am not ashamed anymore of my loss to you. The day I lost was the day my heart surrendered to you. You should have the final decision on what to do with it.” The monster chuckled, but she could tell it pained him to do so. “I’d like to have my teeth intact, though, if you decide to do it.” 

This was the most he’s ever said, and the most heartfelt. No double-edged swords, lies, or snarky comments, but his unfiltered thoughts of his love for her. It was morbid, but it touched her that he would let her be the one to end his life peacefully if he were to ever go back to his old ways. Weighing her options, she sighed, and took in the view in front of her. His head bowed, yet his claw, tightly, but gently yielding onto her hand. Lila smiled, rising up from her seat to place a kiss on his forehead. It was small – couldn't have lasted for more than a split second, but for him it was everything he had ever dreamed about. Sitting back down, she cheekily raised their hands up. “You’re lucky I like you, but you’re going to have to work for the love part, mister lemon~” 

She should have expected what happened next. First his face lit up red like a tomato, and then he lunged, closing the gap, and wrapping his arms around her waist. The human he came to love yelped, but began to giggle in embarrassment when his long tongue made contact with her cheek. “A-are you licking me?!” 

A purr was his answer, and he continued to lick her cheek, making her laugh even further as she squirmed in his arms. “M-monster, please stop, you’re making me blush!” 

He stopped, gazing lovingly down at her. “Basset.” 

She cocked her head to the side. “Basset?” 

“My real name.” 

Lila stopped wiggling, staring up at his uncertain eyes. It must have meant a lot for him to admit his real name to her, and to return the favor, she cupped his cheeks, lowering his head until eventually his face was nuzzled into the nape of her neck. “It’s nice getting to know you, Basset.” 

Cooing with affection, he stayed there, taking in her scent, and her pillow-like skin. This couldn’t be happening, Eyes must be playing some kind of trick on him, but he didn’t care anymore. If this was a dream, he would do everything in his power to stay dreaming right here with her. 

“Guys.” 

To have the one woman he’s ever dreamed about in his arms. What did he do to deserve this? Surely, nothing. Nonetheless, he was going to work hard to make sure she doesn’t just like him, but love him back with as much ferocity as he did with her. 

“Guys!” 

That was strange, he could hear Patty’s voice in this dream. Why would she be in his dreams? Other than helping him with Lila, she kept on punching or kicking him, which were things Lila did as well, but no one could ever be as beautiful or strong as Lila - 

“GUYS!” 

“WHAT?!” He roared, fully intent to fight back against the blonde for once, only to find himself surprised to the sight of Patty and the kids staring horrified at them as if they had just witnessed a murder.  

Much to his dismay, however, Lila practically shoved him off, jumping over him and joining the group while trying her best to keep calm. “AHA! WHAT A FUN RIDE, YOU GUYS SHOULD TRY IT SOME TIME!” 

“I’d rather not,” Roy muttered, sidestepping away from the woman. 

Lila winced, asking Patty, “Patty, how long were you all watching us?!” 

The blonde shuddered, “long enough for me to think you guys were going to start kissing face.” 

Basset confidently strode towards the group, a pep in his step as he finally got everything he wanted. Love. And food. But mostly love. And food!

He didn’t notice the growing turmoil beginning to stir in a certain skeleton wearing boy as he whipped his head back and forth between his mother and his supposed friend.

Change wasn't always beneficial to everyone.

Chapter Text

What a blast tonight was. For once, everything went perfectly how he planned – in a way at least. There were some complications, but by the end he got to feel Lila’s fleshy soft skin against his face, smell her – really smell her delirious scent, sending him into a near drunken state, and best of all, he had her as a mate! A human one, but a very tough, and pretty one at that! He was in such high spirits; he didn’t even take notice of how silent everyone was. The three misfits sticking close to Jaune’s side, clearly uncomfortable from their display of affection, Patty giving him the side eye of disgust, but with a little bit of pride as well? It was hard to tell if his blonde friend was angry about something or not sometimes. Even Skid and Pump were awkwardly leaving some space between them, which was surprising since he didn’t think they even knew what personal space was. 

Who knew that all he had to do was woo Skid’s mother to get him to back off. Although, he wasn’t entirely sure why the boy would be wary of him because of that, but he wasn’t going to question it – gift horse in the mouth and all that. 

Once they got to the parking lot, they all began to bid their farewells. The drunken woman with the strange name sputtered some nonsense about how much she loved them before burping into the sky as the misfits proceeded to help her into her car. Both Skid and Pump practically rushed to the backseat of Lila’s car, probably to avoid whatever awkward tension there was in the air. 

Patty was content in raising her hand to wave goodbye, but his mate pulled her into a hug instead, squeezing her as if she were a plush toy. Patty hugged tightly back, a stupid smile plastered on her face, dripping with joy. Glaring at the girl behind Lila’s back, he used a single claw to slide it across his throat, conveying the message that he would kill Patty if she tried anything. The woman rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue at him in response. A childish response, but he will allow it for now. 

Letting go of Patty, Lila started, “I hope this means I’ll get to see a lot more of you. You’re welcome in my home any time.” 

Losing some of her composure, Patty stuttered a single “Y-yeah... I hope so too.” 

“Then I hope you’re prepared to see my handsome mug a lot more then too,” Basset interjected, draping his arm protectively over Lila’s shoulders. “After all, my mate and I would be happy to accommodate you any time you feel lonely.” 

Lila winced, laying a hand on his claw, “can you not call me a mate, sweetie? You make me sound like an animal.” 

The monster’s teeth glinted in the moonlight, elated from the pet name she had given him. Those were usually reserved for the two small boys that followed him. “I can call you other things if you’d like. I made a list of names.” 

Lila’s scoffed in disbelief, but a blush crept up her cheeks all the same. “You’re not satisfied with me being called your girlfriend?” 

“Too human,” he said, his arm now lowering to her waist. “I want something that has my flair attached to it! How about... my meal?” 

Lila’s brow scrunched up behind her hair. “You make it sound like you’re preparing to eat me again.” 

“Hm, what about my lovely?” He continued. 

“Didn’t you name your corpses that back at your house?” 

“Plumie then?” 

Patty coughed, interrupting their back and forth. “As cute as this is, I think I’m going to back to the real world and go to bed.” She opened the door to her car, glancing at them with tired eyes. “Try not to traumatize anyone else, okay?” 

“No promises,” They both said, as they waved goodbye to the blonde. She had called them cute. Seeking approval from others was normally looked down upon by his kind, but for some reason it didn’t feel as humiliating.  

A few seconds passed, but it dawned on the monster that they were alone again, and he could tell it clicked for his girlfriend as well. They stood there, the wind blowing her long locks, making them appear to float. He felt as if he had fallen in love all over again, the hunger for her touch growing, so he did what came naturally to him. Letting go of her waist, he placed both claws onto her cheeks, raising them to eye level, but cautiously made sure not to harm her silky skin. The human sensed his nervousness, but almost looked like she expected this development, and only hummed with approval, pressing her cheeks against his palm. Basset gulped, leaning closer, focused on her lips. Such tantalizing things teasing him. He had no idea how this was going to work, but his mate was leaning closer to him as well, her eyes slowly closing, so he followed, unwilling to pass up this chance. 

That was until the blaring sound of a car horn blasted any chance of his dreams coming true. Gritting his teeth, he turned his head to yell at whatever interrupted them, only to meet Skid’s heated gaze as he pressed his palm onto the wheel, and honk again. Pump was in the backseat, almost apologetic, but clearly anxious to get home as well. Lila pressed both of her hands against his chest, gently pushing him away, gesturing him to her vehicle with a warm smile. “Come on, the kids are waiting.” 

It took all of his willpower not to say something unsavory towards her child, but he bit his tongue, following behind her. The lavender haired woman stepped inside, making herself comfortable as she tried to calm the rushing feelings in her chest. Unbeknownst to her, Basset turned to stare at Skid with a tilted head, only for him to huff and turn away from him. Rolling his eyes, he decided to let it go. The boy would probably back to his jolly self tomorrow. 

His claw rested on the door handle, prepared to open it, when he felt a sharp pain shoot up his leg. Confused, he looked down to see a sharp object embedded deep in his ankle. Without a care for his own well-being, he tore it out, and the flesh began to regenerate almost instantaneously. A side effect from having the weight of his feelings lifted off his shoulders. Inspecting the weapon, he realized that it was no normal blade, and he had been stabbed by a lot of them in his lifetime.  The weapon consisted of four-sided steel iron spikes, sharpened to perfection. If it weren’t for his natural affinity to getting stabbed, it might have cut his ankle ligaments clean off. Squinting his eyes, he read the tiny writing engraved on the metal. 

I have dug two graves. One for me and one for you.  

That was ominous. Was someone watching them? Lifting his head, he scanned the area and sniffed the air to catch whoever threw the weapon at him, but the assailant hid their presence well. 

“Is something wrong?” 

Lila’s question calmed him, and he shook his head, shoving the weapon into his coat pocket, and sitting in the passenger seat next to her. It was probably nothing. Only an idiot would dare target him. “Nah, just thinking about how lucky I am.” 

Arriving to his plumie’s home, it was apparent to him that the humans were exhausted from their nightly activities. Aside from the skeleton boy who seemed to avoid him at all costs. Lila instructed them to brush their teeth and prepare for bed, and they followed her orders, jogging right behind her. However, his inner devil sprouted from within, and he placed himself in front of Skid while Pump jogged past them. The boy was immediately uncomfortable, but the monster needed to put him to the test. “Say, now that I’m here, you feel like listening to one of my songs for you to sleep? I changed up some of the lyrics so that it isn’t -” 

“No.” Skid deadpanned, walking beneath the gap between his legs to run up the stairs to the bathroom. Basset was left speechless. The tone in the boy’s voice, it left no room for warmth, only a slight tint of disdain. Feeling slightly offended, he stomped up the stairs to follow Lila to her bedroom. Skid can be a whiny brat if he wanted, he didn’t need to care now that he had a girlfriend.  

Walking into Lila’s room without breaking in was a marvel. As she tore off her boots and undressed into her nightgown, he took a gander at the room. It was small, but so much took place here. The drawer next to the bed was the place where he threatened to take her life along with showing her, her worst fears, then the other time where he broke in to watch her sleep, and then the other time where he walked in on her naked. 

Good times... 

“Basset.” 

Bloodshot eyes widening, he put his full attention to her. “Plumie?” 

Scratching her hair, she began, “I... I haven’t been with someone in a long time. I don’t know if it’s appropriate or if I'm going too fast, but -” she signaled to the bed with a tilt of her head. “I don’t want to send you to the couch, so feel free to join me for tonight.” 

“I was already planning on it,” he purred, lying flat on his back before turning to his side in what he imagined was a seductive pose. “Also, by joining you tonight, I hope you don’t mean...” 

Lila rolled her eyes, flicking his forehead, causing an annoyed grunt from him. “Don’t flatter yourself. I wouldn’t do that while there are kids next to our room.” 

“But if they weren’t?” 

His mate sent him a flirtatious wink, making his cheeks feel warm again. “I’m going to kiss them goodnight. Lay here and cool off while I'm gone.” 

God, did he love her, but how was he going to make her say it back? There were a few ideas he had, but he would need to roll the dice tomorrow. For now, he would be content with snuggling against her perfect warmth. A few minutes passed, allowing him the time needed to drop off his own clothing to the floor. Lila wasted no time coming back, yawning as she pulled the covers over herself. She mumbled a “goodnight” and a beat passed before she noticed a lack of sharp nails around her. “Basset, you there?” 

“Mhm.” 

Opening one eye to check on him, she saw her boyfriend was leaning against the headboard, drumming his fingers together with half lidded eyes. “What are you doing?” 

The monster responded dreamily. “Watching you sleep.” 

Both her eyes were open now. “What, for the whole night?” 

Nodding eagerly, he added. “I’ve done it before. You’re very pretty when you’re asleep.” 

Ignoring the fact that he’s admitted to stalking her in her sleep, she threw her arms forwards – towards him. “I’d like it a lot more if you come over here.” 

Hesitation took over, his eyes darting between both of her arms before nervously nodding, and shifting his weight closer to her, until her arms wrapped around his midsection, and he swore his heart had to have jumped out of his chest as she proceeded to bury her head into the lower half of his neck. She kissed the spot once, relishing on the contrast of fuzziness of his chest and the smooth rotund tummy he had produced. A sound rumbled from his throat, similar to a whimper, and she smiled at the power she had over him.  

“Goodnight, sweetie~” 

He wasn’t getting any sleep tonight. “N-night, p-p-plum.” 

Pump was beginning to get worried.  

Skid was weirdly quiet since they got back home to Ms. Lila’s house. Actually, he was so busy trying to get Ms. Patty to understand what spooky month was, that he hadn’t notice Skid not doing the same or even participate in any of the activities the group decided to do, save for Roy who was also quiet the entire time. He glanced over at his friend; they had been tucked into bed a few minutes ago, and despite the darkness, he could sense Skid staring up at the ceiling, a thin line on his lips as he mulled over something that seemed to bring him discomfort. Racking his brain for an explanation, the boy recalled the past few hours, the hours of fun they had with Ms. Lila and Ms. Jaune, and then even Mr. Lemon joined in! None of those seemed like bad things, though. 

Luckily, he did not need to wonder for long. “Hey, Pump?” 

“Yeah, Skid?” Pump answered back, turning his body onto his side to put his full attention onto his friend. 

Skid did not say anything for a beat, clasping his hands together over his stomach. “What happened tonight?” 

 “Do you not remember? We celebrated spooky month at the fair.” 

The boy nodded, continuing, “I know, but what happened after Mr. Lemon came?” 

“After Mr. Lemon came?” He repeated, looking up at the ceiling and digging through his memories. “You mean when he stopped Roy?” 

“After that.” 

“Um... the hot dog eating contest?” 

“A little bit after that.” 

Pump scrunched his nose up in recollection. “I remember him licking Ms. Lila’s face. That was really icky.” 

Skid’s eyes narrowed in a manner Pump had never seen before, almost as if he was angry. “That actually happened, huh?” His small fists clenched twice, gathering his thoughts. “Pump, why would my mom let an ugly person like Mr. Lemon do that to her?” 

The curly haired boy sat up in shock, staring at Skid with his head tilted. “I thought Mr. Lemon was spooky, not ugly?” 

“Well, I think he’s ugly now,” Skid grumbled, sitting up to cross his arms over his chest. “And my mom is pretty, so why did she did do that gross stuff with him on the feriss wheel? After all the bad things he did?” 

“Um... Skid.” 

“What.” Skid deadpanned, annoyed at having his rant interrupted. 

Pump averted his eyes, nervously bumping his knuckles together. “I sort of thought that you knew about them.” 

Skid reeled back as if he had been slapped. “Know about them?” 

“Um... well, it was a little obvious Mr. Lemon really likes your mom.” 

Silence passed between the children, until Skid’s eye gradually began to widen at the implication. “SINCE WHEN?!” 

“Shhh!” Pump whispered, pressing a finger to his lips. “You’re going to wake up Ms. Lila.” 

Puffing his cheeks in irritation, Skid began, “Since when did he like my mom? He tried to eat her, remember?” 

“Mr. Lemon is very strange, Skid,” Pump shrugged. “But after we saved him from Ms. Lila, he’s been acting even weirder around her.” 

“But how can you tell, Pump? He’s always been strange!” 

Pump lifted a finger up, “Mr. Lemon kept sneaking into the house.” 

“Lots of our spooky friends sneak into our house, that’s normal!” 

“True,” Pump agreed, lifting another finger. “But he also started making food here for us and Ms. Lila.” 

“That’s -” Skid paused, struggling to find words. “That doesn’t mean he like likes my mom like that.” 

Pump pursed his lips, unsure if he should say anything more. “There’s also the way he looks at Ms. Lila...” 

Skid blinked, a small glimmer of hope rising in his chest. “Like he wants to eat her? That would be way better than liking her!” 

“Kind of. His eyes get bigger, and... I don’t know, I see it a lot on the gross romance tv shows Susie watches, but he looks like one of those guys who fall in love.” 

Skid’s face scrunched up at the mention of the L word. “This is the worst thing that could have happened...” 

Pump saw the distress in his friend’s face, but did not understand why. “I don’t know, Skid. Ms. Lila looked really happy tonight, maybe it’s a good thing.” 

“This is not a good thing, Pump,” Skid groaned, laying back down onto the pillow. “I thought Mr. Lemon was my friend and then he goes and does this! It’s weird and I hate it!” 

“Uh, maybe he means well?” 

Now Skid turned to glare at his best friend. “How would you like it if Mr. Lemon kissed YOUR mom?” 

Pump’s eyebrows furrowed in disgust. “Ew! Okay, I can kind of see your point now.” The boy huffed, and angrily buried his face into his pillow. Pump laid next to him; eyes glued to the ceiling as he thought of his friend’s predicament. They had forgiven their lemon friend for a lot of things, but he couldn’t help, but find it ironic that his friend could forgive attempted cannibalism, but not romantic interest. “So, what do we do now?” 

“I don’t know,” Skid admitted, closing his eyes. “But I am going to find out why Mr. Lemon is hypnotizing my mom and stop him.” 

Pump blinked. “You think he’s hypnotizing Ms. Lila?” 

“He has to be! My mom wouldn’t do that to -” He stopped, burying his face deeper into his pillow. “Goodnight, Pump.” 

Skid felt his friend pat his back encouragingly. “If you think Mr. Lemon is doing something bad, then I will help you too.” 

“... Thanks.” 

Grinning at his downtrodden friend, he snuggled into his own space on the bed, feeling very tired after their conversation. He wasn’t sure if Mr. Lemon was hypnotizing Ms. Lila, but he believed in Skid, and will help his friend in any way he could. 

What they didn’t know was that their lemon headed friend was listening in. Too captivated by the snoring of his lover to fall asleep, he stayed awake, memorizing the rise of her chest for every snore and the trail of saliva dripping from her lips and onto his chest. Strands of hair would fall over her eyes every once in a while, but he gently brushed them back behind her ear, as to not wake her. It was pure bliss. 

Then a shriek came from next door. Lila moved against him, her dreamlike state nearly being broken, but he shushed back to sleep with a few whispers. Those two better be fighting an actual demon, because if they weren’t then he was going to teach them a lesson about interrupting other people’s sleep.  

Reluctantly moving away from Lila, he carefully grasped her wrists, and pried them off. The woman whined, breaking his heart, but thankfully did not wake up, and turned over onto her back. Smacking her lips, she mumbled something about Skid getting away from a meatpie, as he placed the side of his skull against the wall to listen in. 

After a few moments of muffled arguing, he backed off, having gathered enough intel to understand what kept them awake. It was as he thought, the boy really did not like him being with his mother, but to top it all off they thought he performed a spell on her! The absolute gall! He didn’t need to put any human under hypnotism to make them fall in love with him. 

… Although, why didn’t he think of doing that? 

Filled with indignation, he reached for the door to put down their doubts, perhaps even put them in their place, but stopped himself. Try as he might, they were children – children his mate – girlfriend - deeply cared for. Getting into a fight with them might as well put him at odds with her. The question lingering in the back of his mind was whether or not he should let the boys carry on with their assumptions.  

Whatever, he decided, shrugging his shoulders, and tiptoeing back to bed. What harm could they really do? He already got his happy ending and nothing else was going to ruin it. 

A heavy thunking sound came from outside the window, washing away his thoughts. Lila grumbled, and for a moment he was afraid she had woken up, and waited a full minute to for her to back to snoring. Grasping his chest, he exhaled, not knowing he was holding his breath in until he did so. Inspecting out the window, there was nothing – at least as far as he can tell. Opening the window, he popped his head out, surveying the empty streets, but aside from the lampposts decorating the darkness, there was once again nothing. His eyes slowly crept down, and there he found the source of the noise.  

Another weapon, yet unlike the previous one it was leaf-shaped. The handle was covered in bandages and at the end of the hilt was a ring-shaped hole. Plucking it out of the wall, he quickly closed the window, out of suspicion someone might throw another weapon at him. Turning the blade over in his claws, he couldn’t help, but notice just how clean it was. Whoever the owner was cared deeply for their tools. 

And then he noticed another piece of writing engraved on the edge of the metal. 

The axe forgets, but the tree remembers.  

What a load of trash. It was either some secret admirer or someone trying to murder him, and he didn’t know which was worse. Hiding the accursed object in another coat pocket, there was only one thing on his mind. 

Eyes darting to Lila, watching her chest rise and fall. You could never tell the hidden secrets beneath that angelic exterior, and although he did witness it firsthand, he felt there was so much more left to explore. Slowly crawling onto the bed, he once again joined her, this time placing his arms around her waist, resting his head on her smooth stomach. 

Skid can protest all he wants. It won’t change his feelings for her. 

The world can hurl sharp objects all it wants at him. He will bleed for her. 

And he would ultimately change for her. 

Chapter Text

A week has passed since he had started dating a human. Never in his wildest dreams would he have thought he’d be in a relationship – at least not consensually, but life had a funny way of rewarding a bastard like him. At least, he liked to think it was mostly rewarding. Without any way to bring the green paper home, he made it his sole duty to prepare food for the other two humans – three when Pump was over which happened to be almost every other day. It was a process having to switch from raw body parts to normal ingredients like broccoli and rice. They were decent, but after a while he came to the conclusion that vegetables suck. His preferred dishes to make were baked sweets, such as glazed donuts or cakes, but after the third day of frosted cupcakes with sprinkles, Lila had forbidden him from making anymore sweets, because he was somehow encouraging the kids to eat junk food more – whatever that meant. 

That however, was the least of his problems. The attacks from the night of his confession were getting more frequent, and even bolder. The night when they first cuddled, he hadn’t fallen asleep, waiting till morning came for her to wake up. She yawned, groggily rubbing her eyes, moving to get up into a sitting position, only to be held down by her lemon boyfriend laying on her stomach, gazing up at her with adoration.  

Lila knew she should have been creeped out, but his presence was a welcome change from the years of bleakness of having to wake up in the morning. She was not a morning person by any means. Plus, from this position, he looked like a cute puppy in a strange “crazed menace” sort of way. “Did you even sleep?” 

“I was too distracted to sleep,” was his honeyed reply. “A very pretty human was in my arms last night.” 

She yawned, lightly kicking his legs. “That’s sweet, but I really need to get my coffee or else this entire house might burn down.” 

The monster had no clue what coffee, but there was a mild desperation in her voice that inclined him to let her leave his embrace. The woman sat on the edge of the bed, stretching her back until an audible crack elicited a groan of relief from her. In awe for what felt like the billionth time, his eyes roamed over the messy strands of her hair, the unruly pricks standing out - calling him to run his claws over them. Even the red dot slowly trailing up her back to the back of her skull seemed to agree. 

Wait, red dot? 

Rapidly turning to the window behind them, it was wide open, which should not have been possible since he had made sure to close it last night! At least, he thought he did... in hindsight he might have forgotten to do that.  

As he mulled over the intricacies of his memory, Lila had stood up, walking towards the door with the laser red dot following her. Realizing what was about to happen, he jumped into action, springing forth from the bed to shield her, only to entirely miss his target and get hit by a speeding projectile in his left arm. Landing with a loud thunk on the floor, Lila turned around, confused as to why he was suddenly sprawled out on the floor. “Are you okay?” 

“Yesh,” he mumbled, turning his back on her to hide the object embedded in his arm. “The floor and I are having a conversation right now, so do you mind?” 

She narrowed her eyes suspiciously, but ultimately walked away, groaning about how it was too early for this. The monster silently thanked Eyes for her apathetic mood, and pulled the item out of his arm. One good sign was that he wasn’t bleeding – it wasn’t even a bullet that had hit him, it was a dart. Was the assassin that stupid? Who the hell tries to kill someone with a dart? 

Chucking the dart away, he lifted himself off the ground, but fell over again into a heap. Frustrated, he willed his body to stand, and the right side of his body did, but the other side was unresponsive. No matter how much he willed them, his left arm and leg swung against the air like noodles.  

Okay, maybe the assassin wasn’t as stupid as he thought. 

Whoever it was – they were unrelenting in their pursuit. Basset had lost count of how many sharp daggers or other crudely shaped weapons were thrown at him. One time, while walking Lila back to her car with some groceries, he barely managed to catch a battle axe the size of a mallet within the iron grip of his jaws. Another night they were watching a movie – something about a Mexican hacksaw massacre – he bit into a burger Lila had made for him, which had no human meat of any kind sadly, and then promptly spit it out due to several sharp needles being embedded into his tonsils. She had asked what was wrong, but instead of answering he swallowed the entire thing whole. Even as several razor-sharp pricks scraped his throat, he wanted to keep the illusion of peace, and gurgled out a “yes.”  

The attacks have reached a point where he was forced to hide the assassin’s weapons underneath one of the floorboards in Lila’s bedroom. He didn’t really have a use for them – his claws were enough to dig into a human’s joints and tear apart their tendons, but he didn’t want his human mate to know about any of it. What if she thought it was too dangerous for them to be together and broke up with him? Just the thought sent a cold chill in his heart, and thus resolved himself to be under the thumb of his attacker.  

Ironically, even if he added up everything his would-be murder did to him, it wasn’t the worst thing that plagued his life. Physical pain was child’s play, and he could regenerate his flesh in an instant in most cases. No, they were not the problem at all. 

The biggest problem in his life was Skid. That irritating little shit was hellbent on ruining his newfound relationship with his petty schemes. One afternoon he woke up, thinking of what to make that day, and found a note on the door of the fridge letting him know that his mate had a meeting to attend to, and to watch over her son while she was gone. Tossing the note aside, he opened the fridge, rummaging around inside for a snack when clanging noise fell onto the ground behind him. Closing the fridge, he saw that it was Skid and Pump, who had arrived from school with their backpacks still strapped to them. In the middle of the two was a metal bucket with a pile of lemons stacked inside. One of the yellow citrus fruits fell over, rolling onto the ground until Skid stopped it with the ball of his foot, a grim look on his features that was unlike the normal playfulness he was used to. 

“... So,” he began, shifting his eyes between the two. “This supposed to be a spooky gift to me or something?” 

“No, Mr. Ugly,” Skid replied, breaking the monster’s smile into a frown. “All of these ugly lemons in this bucket have been given to me by the entire school.” Rolling the lemon under his foot, he fixed the monster with a deep glare. “Every day, I find a bunch of stupid lemons on my desk, and everyone thinks it’s sooo funny.” 

He laughed in the boy’s face. “I mean, you have to admit, it is pretty funny.” 

“It’s not!” With a shout, he kicked the fruit under his shoe as hard as he could, hitting the lemon fiend square in the chin. Basset grunted, narrowing his gaze on the boy. “Anything else you wanted to do besides whine about being bullied?” 

“Yes, actually.” Skid thrusted a hand to his friend, opening and closing his palm. “Pump.” 

Pump squeaked, taking his backpack off, and scrambling around inside in a hurry. They both watched him as he took out a box of matches, fumbling around with the item before he pulled a match out and handed both to Skid. Without letting up the pressure, he quickly slid the match head from one end of the striker to the other. The motion was quite quick and hard, almost as if he had done it previously before. He did this two more times, sliding the match faster with each swipe, until finally flame caught on to the match head. 

“Ahem,” he glanced at his friend. “Pump. The gasoline.” 

At this point, the monster shook his head in disbelief. “How in the world did you two even get this stuff?” 

“Skid uh... talked to one of the eighth graders,” Pump explained, removing a gallon of gasoline from his backpack and proceeding to pour it onto the pile of innocent fruits. “He traded his spooky month costume for it.” 

Shocked, he turned to the boy. “You love that dumb costume.” 

“I have a bunch more,” he responded expressionless, and promptly after, he flicked the match to the bucket, inciting a menacing flame that quickly scorched the pile. With his head held high, he walked away, with Pump following in his trail. He let them go, bending down and grabbing the only unburned lemon left from the floor, rolling it around in his palm as the flames rose higher. 

That was a bit overkill, wasn’t it? 

Then one night, while he was cuddling with Lila - his number one favorite activity since they had begun dating - the door to her bedroom creeped open. “Mom?” 

One of his eyes widened in annoyance, wanting to tell the boy off, but Lila rolled away from him, turning to her son. “Sweetie? Is something wrong?” 

“Mhm,” he nodded, rubbing his eyelids. “I can’t sleep... can I sleep with you tonight?” 

She smiled lovingly at him, which admittedly warmed his own cold heart, but due to Skid’s recent development, he couldn’t help but feel that there was an ulterior motive to his sudden need of being close to his mother. Nevertheless, she moved aside, leaving a space between the two of them for the boy. “Of course, you can, son.” 

Skid scrambled onto the bed, crawling on all fours until he reached the sheets, shifting under them, and resting his head on her shoulder while wrapping his arms around her. Basset stared at Skid’s back, still suspicious, but ultimately decided that there wasn’t much he could do in this situation and wrapped his lanky arms around the two of them, stirring an even warmer feeling of closeness that he couldn’t put to words. He’s snuggled with the two before – with Skid it felt awkward, but... pleasant. Perhaps that’s why he felt an inkling of protectiveness over him whenever he got hurt. With Lila, it was always warm, cozy – hot even – how she didn’t have the town asking for her hand in marriage was beyond him. 

Now with the two of them held tightly together like this in his arms? It felt as if the pieces of a puzzle he had given up on long ago had been complete. Maybe he’ll be nicer to the little runt after this.  

That was his thought process until he felt a tiny foot kick his chest. Opening his eyes, he squinted behind Skid’s hair, only to be met with another kick to his chest, slightly pushing him away. Glancing at Lila, she didn’t seem to notice what was happening, snoring away while her son was being a brat. Well, two can play that game. 

Knowing exactly at how to annoy the living hell out of the child, he placed his thumb in front of his index claw, and released the full force at the crown of his skull. Skid released a small “Ow,” which made the sadistic monster grin until the boy reaed a leg back and kicked him even harder, and in response he flicked the back of his head even harder. 

“Quit it!” he whispered, kicking him away again. 

“No, you,” he growled, flicking away with his fingers. 

“Stop it!”  

“You started it!”  

“What are you two doing?!” A third voice rose, stopping the two of them from escalating their attacks. Lila rose, barely awake as she addressed her boyfriend. “Son, was he bothering you?”  

Skid was all too eager to answer. “Yes, he was poking and flicking me the whole time, mom!” 

“What?! But this kid has been -” 

Lila raised her hand, stopping his protest. “Basset, he is my son, do you have any problem with him sleeping in my bed?” 

His shoulders slumped, shame entering his posture. “N-no, but -” 

“Good.” She laid back down, closing her baggy eyes shut once more. “Then go to sleep. Both of you.” 

Skid sent him a devilish smirk, one that would have made him proud if it wasn’t at his expense. “Okay, mom.” Hating to admit defeat, he moved away from them and rolled onto his back, a feet away from them. Ever since that night, he’s learned that if Skid climbs onto the bed, it meant no cuddling or kissing. Two of the things he loved doing with his mate that the boy seamlessly took away and the nights felt so cold without touching her. 

The most recent stunt, however, took the cake. After venting all day to Patty, who only nodded once or twice during their entire conversation, he returned to his mate’s home who was absent save for her son and his friend who were in the kitchen. As soon as he made it to the living room, they both walked over, with Skid holding a tin with a pie inside towards him. “This is for you.” 

The brat said it with such an apathetic tone, he immediately knew something was wrong with it. The presentation looked adequate, the top crust was baked until it was crisp and the filling seemed to be cooked thoroughly. To the untrained eye, it looked like a delicious pie. The stench – and he rarely used that word – coming from it told a different story. For all he knew it could have been poisoned. Trying to find a way out of the situation, his bloodshot eyes fell on Pump, who appeared as if he would rather be anywhere but here.  

But at least he wasn’t as annoyingly spiteful as Skid. 

“Pump,” he cooed in his best syrupy tone. “Did you help cook this?” 

Pump’s posture stiffened, but he nodded. “Uh, yes.” 

“Could you tell me what’s inside that pie? Just out of curiosity.” 

“Uh -” His eyes darted Skid, sweat forming on his brow. “It’s, um made with pie things.” 

“It’s an apple pie,” Skid cut in smoothly, moving closer to him. “A really really good apple pie too.” 

Basset gently pushed down on the pie, fixated on Pump. “I want to hear it from him.” 

“I-I-” His hand dug into his pocket, pulling out a cellphone and placing it against his ear. “Oh? What’s that Susie? Mr. Wonder fell in the bath again?” He forced a laugh, hoping it would pass as genuine. “Don’t worry, big sis, I will be right there!” Putting his phone away, he looked up at his unamused friends, “Sorry, guys! I gotta go! Family stuff!” With that, he dashed out the door faster than a speeding roadrunner. 

Rolling his eyes, he took the pie from Skid’s hands, doing his best to put on a gentle act. He opened his maw, raising the pie above his head, but before it could fall in his mouth, he moved his head, letting it fall to the floor with a splat. For good measure, he stomped on it with his boot, squishing the dark green ingredients and splattering more pieces of the crust all over the carpet. “This is what I think of your ‘apple pie’ you little -”  

“BASSET!” An outraged voice called out, instilling instant regret in his soul. Slowly craning his neck to the kitchen, Lila was there, practically seething. “My son and his friend spent the entire afternoon making a pie for you and YOU THROW IT ON THE GROUND?!” 

Scared for his life, he put his claws up in front of him. “W-wait, this isn’t what it looks like!” 

“Not what it looks like?!” She stomped over to him, making him cower from the sheer rage on her face. “Then tell me, what is it?! All I see is my son made a pie for you and you made him cry after throwing it onto the floor!” 

Skid buried his face in her jeans, drying his tears as he hiccupped. “I-I tried my best, mom, b-b-but he -” 

“Shh, it’s okay, sweetie,” she comforted, taking him in her arms. “It’s almost time for your bed time anyways, don’t worry about the mean lemon man.” 

As they walked away, Skid’s crocodile tears had already dried, and he stuck his tongue out at the monster, hugging his mother tightly around her neck. His jaw dropped, because he actually believed he had made him cry, but no. That kid actually planned it all to make it look like he was a saint, and beat him at his own manipulation game. It made him proud. It made him feel stupefied.  

But it mostly pissed him off. 

His claws dug onto his scalp, wanting to scream. Instead, he sat on the couch, taking deep breathes. One more incident and he was going to kill someone. He could feel the primal urge growing in his chest to fall into old habits to lessen the stress on his nerves. It didn’t take long for Lila to come back down the stairs, standing in front of him with her arms crossed. Basset didn’t have the strength to look into her disappointed eyes. 

“You’re going to clean up this mess,” she started, pointing at the dirtied carpet. “Then you’re going to apologize to my son for what you did.” 

That made him lift his gaze. “But I -” 

“No buts,” she said, shaking her head, determined to force her point across. “I don’t know what’s going on between you two, you used to treat him much better than this.” This time he did not complain, dropping his head down onto the floor again, allowing her to continue. “I know you’re happy we’re dating, but he is my son and he comes first and foremost whether you like it or not. If you have a problem with Skid, take it up with me. I will take care of it.” Her statement done, she began walking away, leaving him alone on the couch. 

“And you’re sleeping on the couch until you improve your attitude with my son.” 

He wished his assassin would man up and kill him already. It was one thing to lose to a human in a fight, but in a battle of wills with a child? He could accept losing to Lila, but not a boy. That kid should be the one crying on a couch, not him! 

Wiping away a bloody tear from his eye, he stood up, looking out the window. As the crickets chirped outside, he mulled over what to do. Truthfully, he didn’t want to kill the boy. He had saved his life once after all, and doing that would bring immeasurable pain to Lila. At the same time, her son despised him to the point he was willing to use psychological warfare, and he didn’t want to resort to the same, because there was only one way that would end. 

He needed outside help. Someone that either knew how children worked or someone close to Skid... Ah, of course. 

Making sure as not to make any noise, he opened the front door, and bounced across the night to Pump’s home. 

Susie liked drawing. She’s been drawing ever since she was her brother’s age, maybe even younger. Her parents always supported her, and so it became a hobby. Eventually, she took up streaming with a group of online friends that shared similar tastes in varying cartoons and ships. Without her parents around as often, though, they were not able to provide her with the necessities needed for her streams. She knew it was asking for a lot, but if she wanted to grow on witch.tv then she needed better streaming equipment. 

The problem was she hated doing commissions. She liked drawing for herself, not for others, and as nice as the compliments and money felt, it just wasn’t as satisfying. Thus, she searched for a more economical way of making a quick buck for her needs, and ran across a forum one of her friends lent to her of individuals willing to pay a large sum of cash in advance for their commissions – some even ranging from the four-digit count! 

The catch was that their commissions were very unorthodox and – no offense to them – teetering on the verge of being gross. Still, doing one commission every few months was a better trade off than drawing a dozen like some others. The paranoid preteen only did these late at night, when both her grandfather and little brother were asleep. This was a secret she was going to take to her grave; no one should know of the war crimes she was committing. 

Then her window opened and she began screeching, hitting the power button on her monitor and slamming the laptop shut before hurling it onto her bed. Suddenly instead of fearing for her exposure, she feared for her life. “GRANDPA! PUMP! THERE’S A -” 

“Gah! Shut up!” The lemon headed man shouted, blocking her path. “I don’t know who you are, but get me to Pump before I eat you alive!” 

Her eyes fell, suddenly growing relaxed. “Oh, you’re just the guy he talks about so much.” She shivered, taking in his appearance. “You’re a lot scarier than he described.” 

“Thank you,” he bowed. “But that’s not what I came here for.” 

“Mhm, yeah, -” she began walking back to her bed to pick up her laptop to make sure her work wasn’t deleted before swiveling back to him. “Wait! What are you doing in my room?! I’ll call the cops on you if you don’t leave!” 

“And I’m sooo scared of a little girl and he trusty cops,” he mocked, mimicking a high-pitched voice. “Listen, I'm only here for Pump. He has the answers I need, not you.” 

Her gaze remained on the door, ready to bolt for it if things got hazy. “And what do you want with my brother?” 

“Oh, he’s your sibling?” He perked up, smiling more politely at her. “That’s good. I just wanted him to help me on making Skid less of a brat.” 

“You’re asking the wrong kid, because he’s as much of a brat as my brother is,” she mumbled, rolling her eyes. “But seriously, do you really not know? It’s kind of obvious.” 

“If it’s so obvious, then tell me.” Sitting on her bed, he buried his head in his claws. “Tell me why that kid can’t stop making my mate hate me.” 

“You’re dating his mom.” 

“... So?” 

“So?!” Susie threw up her arms, “That kid used to talk about how awesome his dad was all the time. I don’t know what happened to him, but that kid only has his mom now and for some random lemon thing to suddenly start dating her when he still misses his dad, well... I think any kid would hate you.” 

Remaining silent, he took the girl’s words to heart. The boy’s missing father was always an element to Lila’s past, but he didn’t think it would connect to her son as well. The door to her room slowly opened, revealing a child with curly hair peeking in. “Susie? Are you okay?” Stepping into the room, he yawned, stopping at the sight of his friend. “Uh, hi, Mr. Lemon.” 

“Pump,” he acknowledged. “What do you think would make Skid hate me less? “ 

Put on the spot, the boy sighed, looking down at his feet. “I don’t know if he hates you Mr. Lemon, he’s just... scared.” 

Before the conversation could grow any more depressing, Susie said, “Have you tried talking to him?” 

“... No. I’ve been mostly catering to his mother.” 

“I think it would help Skid if you talked to him, Mr. Lemon.” Pump rubbed the back his head. “And, uh, sorry for all the stuff we did.”  

Talk to him? It was hard enough having a one-on-one with Lila, and it took weeks just to get to that point. The monster stood up, one leg out the window. “I will try... and Susie?” 

Susie blinked, “What?” 

He winked at her. “Those sketches of yours are quite sickening, even by my standards.” 

“YOU BETTER NOT TELL ANYONE!” She shouted, running at the window, but he was already gone. 

“What was he talking about, sis?”  

She moved him back out of her room. “Nothing just go to sleep.”  

Chapter Text

Skid was a strange child.   

Basset came to that conclusion when he first met the vibrantly dancing duo, and it still applied today. Throughout his life, he’s encountered other human children before, and has collected their lives from this Earth, but so far, none have ever tried as hard to be his friend as he and his friend did.   

Had he never met them, or even decided to do as he wanted in the past and added their tiny fleshy bodies to his broth, where would he be now? Had it not been for them, he would have never clashed with the strong-willed warrior that was his mate. If it weren’t for them, love – real human love that was so far from his grasp – would not have been possible to attain. With them gone, he might as well have kissed everything goodbye, including his own life.   

That annoying boy was a pain in the ass, and still is most of the time, but he was a pain in the ass that he had to learn to... what was the human word for it? Reconcile? Get along with? It didn’t matter. He needed him back to his happy-go-lucky self if he was going to keep his sanity in check.  

Turning the knob to the front door, he entered the home, planning to watch a marathon of some of Skid’s favorite horror films before he talked to him in the morning. However, instead of finding the empty couch he left behind, he found the boy himself, a knife in hand, and digging it down the cushion, making a cluster of foam around the sofa with an almost bored expression. His movement stopped, and they both stared at one another. The monster dragged a claw down his face, amazed at how far the kid was going to get him in trouble.   

Skid dropped down from the couch, and began walking away without a word. The brat was just going to pretend nothing happened. “Really, boy? You got nothing to say to my face after all that?” When the boy ignored him, and continued his path to the stairs, he reached into his pocket, feeling for the lemon he rescued the day prior. Once his claw grabbed his tiny comrade, he flung the fruit at the back of his head.  

It hit its mark, landing with an audible wallop against his noggin. “Ow, that really hurt!” Skid whined, rubbing the spot angrily. “Yeah? You going to do something about it, skeleton boy?”  

The nickname had its intended effect, sending the child into a fit. Not thinking straight, he ran forwards and kicked the fruit as hard as he could back at him. The monster smiled, leaning to the side, allowing for it to whizz right past him. Seeing his chance for payback was gone, Skid realized that by trying to hit him back he had closed the distance between them, but by then it was too late. His claw darted forwards, and caught the neckline of his shirt. He willed his legs to move as fast as they could, by then the monster had already lifted him up into the air, dragging him back to the ruined sofa.  

“Let me go!” Skid yelped, kicking at the air in a futile struggle to break free. “It doesn’t matter what you do to me Mr. Ugly! I won’t stop until you quit brainwashing my mom and then she will beat you again!”  

“Relax dummy, I'm not going to do anything to you.” Tossing the boy onto couch, he sat down next to him, but ultimately was too hesitant to get close so he left a wide gap between them. In retrospect, he didn’t exactly have a plan on how to get to the bottom of this whole ordeal – he knew it had something to do with his biological father, but he knew nothing of the man, and bringing it up felt like he would be stepping on a landmine. Besides, he’s been winging it so far and it’s worked out before, maybe it would work here?  

“So,” he began, cracking his neck side to side. “You think you know everything, don’t you kid?”  

Skid stood up on both feet, puffing his chest up to him. “I may be a kid, but I’m not dumb! I know you can do stuff like that!”  

He nodded, staring down at him with an unreadable expression. “Then tell me, what makes you think I ever did something so criminal to your mother?”  

The boy practically jumped at the chance. “Because that’s what you do all the time! You do spooky stuff to everyone, and then act like a big jerk about it!” He sat down, satisfied with his point made before adding, “And you’re also ugly.”  

Basset used two of his claws to turn Skid’s head around and upwards to meet his eyes, growing tired of having to be at odds with a child even if his claims were true. “Skid, I’m just going to lay out all of the cards on the table, because I can’t be bothered with dealing with all of this... emotion coming from you.” Making sure to keep his bloodlust in check, he placed both of his claws onto his knees, drumming them up and down. “I did not hypnotize, curse, or even brainwash your mother. She is completely untouched by my special abilities, aside from the first time we became acquainted that is.”  

Skid scowled. It might have been intimidating, had he not been the size of a puppy. “Why should I believe you? You lie all the time too!”  

“True, I do lie a lot,” he agreed. “But had I put her under some spell, would I not have stopped her from taking your side when you pulled that stunt with the apple pie? Which was very devious coming from you might I add.”  

The boy’s determined gaze faltered, whether it was from his compliment or counterpoint, he wasn’t sure. “But... I know you can hypnotize people; I’ve seen you do it.”  

The monster sheepishly glanced away upstairs – where her room was. “I... forgot I could do that, and I won’t lie about this – I fully believe I would have had I remembered back when I wanted to eat all of you.”  

“So why do all this?!” Skid exasperated, understanding even less of what was happening. “Spooky month was supposed to be a best friend thing! When you cooked all that stuff or hung out with us, I thought it was for us, not whatever icky stuff you do with mom!”  

Looking down, what was once an angry brat wanting to ruin his life, was now a small confused human trying to make sense of what was occurring to his somewhat safe life with his closest loved one. An ounce of pity bubbled to the surface, he’d forgotten that they were family, and humans put an emphasis and that sort of relationship. It wasn’t the same love he felt for Lila, but from observing them he understood that it was a strong love nonetheless.  

This time he knew exactly what to say. He’s felt it from his core since the very beginning. “I...” he paused, restraining himself from using ‘love’ in this instance. It wasn’t that it was a lie, but rather, he did not think the boy would be able to handle the blunt truth, and thus worded his next words carefully. “... I really like her.”  

Skid frowned, his stare breaking and landing back onto the floor. “As in... like like her?”  

“I really really like like her.”  

There was a shift in his stance. No longer hostile, but somber, mulling over his proclamation. For a moment, Basset thought he won, that perhaps Skid would back off, and not act like he had eaten his entire family. He knew it wasn’t exactly ideal, for the expression he wore was one of a deep sadness, but he’d take that over outright warlike behavior.  

Then Skid’s frown somehow deepened even further, his brow creasing into angry lines. He was about to snap, he can see the signs, and he was the only one around in the vicinity who had mere seconds to defuse the emotional turmoil that was about to explode.   

“Skid, sweetie?” Make that two people now, but he definitely did not want her here. Not now. “Are you down here?”  

Instinct overpowered rational thought, instantly putting a claw over Skid’s mouth, and pushing his small frame behind him. “Plumie! It’s so nice to see you at this hour –” A crunch interrupted him, and he could feel teeth grinding against his fingers. “That’s a good grip you’ve got on my hand, but also OW!”  

The pint-sized biter spit his claw out, jumping down from the sofa, and glaring at his mother with slightly less contempt that he saved for the monster. This was bad, the boy seemed like he was going to against his mother with that expression. This was becoming the worst-case scenario fast, and Basset didn’t know how to resolve it at all.   

 “Mom, can I ask you why?”  

Lila’s drowsy state slowly dissipated hearing the tremble in his voice. “Is everything okay, son? What do you mean?”  

“I mean... why him!” He pointed at the monster, who gulped nervously at the accusation. “If he isn’t forcing you to do all that lovey stuff with him, then why!”  

Lila’s jaw dropped in shock, her tired eyes widening. “Son, I -”  

“It just doesn’t make sense! None of it makes sense!” He ranted, throwing his arms up in the air. “That guy has done so many bad things to us! He does not deserve to live with us! He does not deserve your – your help! So why?!”  

“S-Skid, I -”  

“Or did you forget about dad?!” Basset practically felt the temperature in the room drop at the name drop. There was no salvaging this, whatever Skid was bottling up, it was coming out in waves of pure distress. “Because I haven’t forgotten mom! And as long as I remember, I do not want Mr. Lemon as my dad!”  

The monster rose a quizzical brow. “Er, but I am not your father?”  

“Shut up, I wish we never saved you!” With that, he ran past Lila, and up the stairs. He caught the sound of a few sniffles before he tearfully ran away, but he didn’t stop him. Basset didn’t want to admit it, but his statement did sting a little. With a numbness in his body, he rose off of the couch to check on his mate, who had stood still, her head stuck in the direction her son had went. She appeared... fine, but knowing humans she probably wasn’t.  

“I, uh... I’m really sorry about all that.” Scratching the back of his neck, he tried to put on his best smile, despite her back turned to him. “I was trying to talk to the little rascal about how he felt about all this when you came in and he exploded.” Glancing back at the furniture, he added, “I-I’ll try to find some way to fix that sofa he stabbed, probably my fault anyways and... uh -” he stopped when upon a closer look, he noticed that she was shaking, her palm covering her mouth. “L-Lila are you okay?”  

He should have known that she was not okay. Not at all. When turning around, he witnessed a face of anguish that was all too familiar. He’d seen it on the faces of other humans when he took away a loved one from them, upon parents when told their child was never coming back. It was an expression he sadistically drank in, using their agony as a cushion for his own crippling obsession with romance and meat. Now, however, his lover was the one wearing that same face, and watching the tears drip down her chin, and onto the floor – it was enough for a hole to be dug in his chest.  

Still inexperienced and not knowing what to do to comfort her, he brought his arms around her waist, and unlike their previous embraces, he did not eagerly jump at the chance or let his claws roam around her skin. Treating her like fragile glass, his claws resting on her back as he tried his best to calm down her hiccups by rubbing her back.  

“I-I should have known,” she croaked under him, tears staining his red sweater. “God, I should have known...” Basset stayed silent, because as much as he wanted to say something – anything to help, it wasn’t his place. “H-How could I have let this happen? I-I should have talked to him about it and now -” She gulped, her breath stuttering as she spoke through the hot tears. “I-I’m a t-terrible mother.”  

“No, you are not,” he spoke up, his chin resting on her head as her body wracked with sorrow. “I should have gone to you first, but I foolishly spoke to him about it instead.” Gently grasping her shoulders, he pulled away, gazing down at Lila apologetically. “You’ve been nothing but a doting mother to him. I’m just... me.”  

Wiping away her tears, she shook her head at him. “Maybe you’re right, but I should have known that getting into a relationship so openly would affect my son as well... he loved his father, but I got so carried away with everything and -” She sighed, ruffling her hair. “N-No. No, I won’t make any more excuses for myself, I-I'll go talk to him.”  

Her trembling ceased slightly, and he wanted to hug her again out of selfishness, but he knew Lila well enough that nothing would stop her once she sets her mind to it. “... Should I leave? To give you two some space.”  

“No, no, it’s fine, Basset.” She said quickly, almost desperately. “I just – wait here for the time being, okay?” She bit her lip before adding, “I really need you here.”  

A faint blush heated his cheeks, but he nodded in acceptance. Lila’s hand clasped around his claw tightly for a few seconds, and then she let go, following her son to his room while wiping the last of her tears away. He trudged back to the sofa for the sake of their privacy; usually he would love snooping for details, but they deserve to have their own enclosures after everything he did to them as Skid put it.   

Worn out from all the emotional labor he had to experience today; he was in the process of dumping his body onto the couch when a bright red dot blinded his left eye. Grunting in annoyance, he stared outside the window, and spotted a familiar looking white van with a familiar looking child kidnapper inside, waving a pen in a circle, which seemed to be the source of the light.  

Basset took one quick glance upstairs, hearing their faint whispers making him grimace. He did tell Lila he would stay, and he really did, but would the boy even want to see his face after this whole fiasco? Probably not. Silently apologizing to Lila in his head, he opened the door, and closed it behind him, making sure it stayed locked with a flick of his wrist. Strolling up to the van – Frank - if he recalled the human’s name, put away the laser pointer, shooting him a knowing grin. “Hey there, lemon man.”  

The monster huffed, eyes trailing behind the vehicle. “You’re the nimrod that’s been trying to kill me?”  

“Me? Nah all that stuff has been from someone else.” Frank shrugged his shoulders, raising a wad of green bills clutched in his hands. “I’m just the messenger boy in all this.”  

“Is that so?” Basset asked disbelievingly. “If I were you, I would absolutely hunt and fillet the man who put me behind bars.”  

“All water under the bridge,” Frank responded, smiling cheekily at him. “I got to meet some future partners in the big house, and besides I didn’t stay too long in there. Your... ‘friends’ were nice enough to bail me out.”  

The human was most likely referring to his assailants, meaning that whoever they were, they have been watching his activities for a long time. It felt odd being the one watched this time. “Alright then, ‘messenger,’ what is it that you need to pass on?”  

Frank put away his collected cash into the glove compartment, pointing to the passenger seat. “My message for you is really short. Get in – your friends wanna meet.”  

Ah, a confrontation. He was slowly starting to get elated over this meeting. If it was a fight they wanted, he would gladly offer his best methods of carnage. However, before he could jump in the van, his eyes averted back to the house, thoughts of the small family inside briefly stopping his bloodlust. Oh, to murder his would-be-murderer would be so cathartic, but he would betray Lila’s trust in him by doing so.  

“You getting in or what?” The driver spoke up impatiently, hands on the steering wheel.  

Blinking owlishly, he glanced back at Frank. “What if... I refuse?”  

The beady eyed man pursed his lips in frustration. “They told me that you might say no - didn’t think you would if I’m being honest.” Turning the keys in the ignition, the engine sparked to life. “They said if you said no, they would come here themselves. You got some folk in there you care about, right? Might as well get in.”  

Hanging his head in defeat, he sighed, and slogged his way to the other side of the van. After he killed whoever was disturbing his life, he would apologize to Lila. He just hoped she would understand and not whack him over the head for it.  

Skid had already buried his face into his pillow, releasing a few shaky breaths into the fluffy cushion. His head refused to lift even at the sound of his door opening and closing. A weight sat down next to him, but he stayed silent, stifling down his sniffles.  

“... Skid,” His mother’s voice tentatively began. “Did I ever tell you the story of how your father and I met?” Not seeing a response from him, she continued. “I was in school, late for class because I fell asleep on my desk. I was already twenty minutes late, so I was running down the hall like a maniac... and then I bumped into him.” Skif shifted his head slightly, one eye peeking out, watching his mother smile in recollection. “The boy I bumped into – your father – had a skull face painted on him, and a book in hand. We both dropped our things, and he tried to help, but your father was so nervous at the time that he nearly dropped his own things again. I then asked him what he was doing dressed up like it was October, and all he said – without any stuttering - was ‘Why wait for one month to come when you can celebrate it every day?’”  

“Spooky month...” Skid whispered, sitting up on the bed, and wiping away the tears dripping down his cheeks. “Dad and I used to celebrate it all the time...”  

Lila tried her best to smile, but even he could tell it was a strained attempt at one. “I didn’t forget about your father, Skid. I never will. He’s your father, and nothing – not even me or a monster – can ever change that.”  

“But -” he paused, averting his eyes to his feet. “What you and Mr. Lemon are doing... I-I thought y-you were trying to replace dad... a-and me.”  

“O-Oh, sweetie, no,” she said in a hushed whisper, taking him into her arms, and stroking his hair. She did her best to control the growing lump in her throat. “No, n-no, I would never, and I'm so sorry for letting you think that. That wasn’t at all what I was trying to do.”  

Skid could feel more tears welling up, but he blinked them away, wrapping his arms around her. “T-Then why? W-Why are you and Mr. Lemon...”  

Lila used one hand to lift Skid’s chin upwards; what Skid saw was not uncertainty, but a tender, determined gaze. “Do you remember when you stopped me from attacking him? Do you remember the look in his face?” Skid nodded, allowing her to continue. “He was so confused, lost... but you and your friend stayed by his side, offering him a friendship he probably never had. At some point, I even joined in helping, because I trusted you and Pump were the right ones to help him.” A small smile was beginning to form on her son’s teary-eyed face, and a few of her own peeked out of her tear ducts. “Eventually, Mr. Lemon started to... have feelings for me. Strong ones, and I don’t know how, but I think I did too.”  

Skid’s smile fell. “But... I thought -”  

“But that doesn’t mean I would ever replace you, sweetie.” She leaned down, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “You come first before anyone else. Nothing will ever change that.”  

Her son dug his face into her mother’s stomach, whimpering, and she was more than glad to hug tightly back, wanting to shield those thoughts away from his head. “I-I’m s-sorry, mom. F-for saying anything mean to you.”  

“Shh,” she shushed him, pressing another kiss to his forehead. “It’s okay, just let it all out.”  

And so, they did. Skid cried against her nightgown, muttering apologies that were not warranted, and Lila allowed herself a few silent drops of tears as well. They both needed it. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but by then they had both run out of energy to cry anymore. Skid wiped away the last of his tears, staring at the door. “Should I... say sorry to Mr. Lemon too?”  

Lila stared at her son quizzically. “Not unless you feel like you should, sweetie.”  

The boy tapped his index fingers nervously against each other. “I was kind of mean to him a lot.”  

“I’m sure he... understands,” Lila muttered, but in truth, she knew how petty he could get, so she was unsure if her son’s actions were unwarranted or not. “Could you tell me what you did?”  

He nervously chuckled, “I, uh, lied about the apple pie.”  

“Wait, what.”  

“Mhm. It was, uh, filled with broccoli... and lots of laxatives.”  

Lila did a double take. “Where did you even get laxatives from?”  

“Pump’s grandpa has a lot of them, so we borrowed a few.” His eyes went up to study his mother, only to avert them away when she stared back at him with disapproval. “I guess it was a good thing he threw it on the ground, huh?”  

She shook her head, standing up to stretch her legs. “I owe him an apology too then.”  

Skid did not share everything he did to devastate the life of her boyfriend, but he did agree to at least apologize about the tampered pie. She expected to see a nervous lemon monster waiting for her on the sofa, but it was empty downstairs. No sign of life at all. A tinge of anger swelled up at how he easily broke his promise to stay, and the minute she was gone he decided to make a beeline for it. She was about to tell Skid to go to bed, when she spotted a couple of dark figures shuffling around some bushes outside. They spotted her, and thinking she was in danger, she shoved Skid behind her in a defensive stance, but instead of showing hostility, they waved at her, signaling to the door before moving towards it.  

“Skid, stay behind the couch,” she instructed. Following her orders, he did as such, looking around the room for the lemon monster. With her son hidden, she prowled towards the door, grabbing her steel square ruler besides the coat hanger before opening it slightly to peer at her visitors.  

“Greetings!” A middle-aged man with a large white beard in a dark robe said, waving at her. If it wasn’t for the attire, she might have mistaken him for a mall santa. “We have come to inform you that we have taken care of your beast.”  

She cracked the door open fully. “You’ve taken care of my beast?”  

“Yes, the monster holding you and your son hostage. My partner and I have been watching you suffer at the hands of that lemon fiend, but worry not! For the Yellow Order has come to the rescue!”  

“And before you say anything, the name has nothing to do with pee.”  

The old man smacked his younger partner besides the head, nearly sending him to the ground. “Anyways! Would you like to spectate his demise?”  

“Woah, woah, hold on,” Lila gripped her head in her hands, exasperated at having to deal with another hooded organization. “The Yellow Order? What the hell do you guys even do?”  

“Glad you asked, my good lady!” The elderly man stood proudly at attention, nudging his partner, who couldn’t be any older than eighteen, to copy his mannerisms. “We are an organization that specializes in hunting, and killing murderous beasts – but while we all have claimed the lives of numerous creatures - we all share one common enemy.” Suddenly his jovial tone stopped, his stare transforming into a fierce rage. “The monster known as Basset.”  

Lila sweat dropped, feeling her throat becoming dry. “I-I see.”  

“Moving on,” he smiled, shifting moods quicker than lightning. “My son and I were tasked by our leader to bring to watch his glorious death. Our members have trained for years to kill that bastard, and I’m sure you would like to watch too.”  

“Y-Yes, yes!” She said, trying to sound happy, but was really panicking inside. “Let me gather a few things inside before we leave!”  

The old man’s son nodded, checking his watch. “Better hurry, lady, we can grab some popcorn if we leave in the next five minutes.”  

“Watch your tone, boy.”  

“Sorry.”  

She left them bickering at the door, running upstairs. Skid followed her, flabbergasted as to why his mother pulled a piece of the floorboard apart, and shoving as many weapons inside a bag and a few into her pockets as possible. “Mom, what’s going on? Who are those people outside?”  

“Mr. Lemon is in trouble, sweetie,” she replied with a tone leaving no room for hesitation. “And we’re going to save him.”  

Skid stood silent, watching her move about as she gathered supplies. He may still need time to accept his lemon friend back into his heart, but if there was anyone that was going to save him, it would have to be them. He ran back to his room, gathering a few items of his own, along with masking his body and face once more with his favorite costume.  

Once he was ready, he met his mother at the front door, who was surprised to see him. “Son?”  

“Let’s save him, mom.”  

She smirked, “Even if he doesn’t deserve it?”  

He nodded. “I've saved him before, and I won’t stop now.”

Chapter Text

This was probably a bad idea.  

Scratch that. He definitely knew it was a terrible idea. If he survives whatever his assailant has in store for him, then Lila will make sure to finish what they started via a good bashing. However, the thought of getting his claws dirty again – the chance to dig his jaws into raw flesh – pungent gore painting the entire streets. 

A shame it was going to stay a fantasy, and nothing more. 

He slumped in his seat; a miserable frown remaining on his face since he had stepped inside the van. The agitated monster would love nothing more than to indulge in old habits, but he did make a promise to his mate. A promise that no other human would die by his claw. Sure, he could kill them all, and lie about what happened to Lila, but she was a rather perceptive human. If anyone could be able to weave their way through his tricks, it would be her. 

The white van came to a stop, screeching his thoughts to a halt. Glancing out the passenger window, he saw that Frank had parked outside of the candy store. “This the place they wanted to meet?” 

“No, this is just a gig of mine I recently hooked up with for some extra cash.” Frank dialed a number on his phone, his grin widening with each button pressed. “Met this little guy through your friends. They tried getting him to join in kickin’ your ass, but he told em no.” 

Basset heard a familiar voice coming from the phone. “Uh, hello? Who is this?”  

“Sugar baby!” Frank drawled with a roll of the tongue. “I missed you, so I came by to see you.” 

“I told you not to call me that,” the voice mumbled. “And quit the weird flirting, you’re here for the package, right?”  

The greasy human winked at him, as if somehow the man-eating monster could relate to the exchange he was having, but Basset merely stared dumbfounded back. “Yeah, I'm outside, now get your skinny behind here, so we can do the exchange.”  

The person on the other end of the receiver hung up, but it didn’t dissuade Frank in the slightest, as he patiently waited for the individual. Basset had his suspicions from the start, but was still surprised when Kevin walked out of the candy store with a bag in his hands, looking as dead inside as usual. Their eyes met, and a flash of fear passed through his expression, but in the end, he sighed, trudging over to Frank’s van. “Hey, guys...” his eyes darted between Basset and Frank. “I didn’t know you two were friends.” 

“Sugar -” 

The candy store worker grimaced, “It’s Kevin.” 

“- Whatever, remember those weirdos wanting info about him? Today’s the day.” 

Kevin’s eyes widened, and he quickly scrambled over to get the monster’s attention. “H-hey, whatever happens, just know I didn’t say anything!” Narrowing his eyes, the monster growled, prompting Kevin to fumble with his next words, “R-Really! I-I didn’t say a single thing about you to them! N-not even about t-the time you killed that guy in my store!” 

Boisterous laughter bubbled up from the throats of the two in the van, kicking their feet and fists against the door at his expense. “Sugar, he’s messing with ya!” 

Basset’s laughter died down to a low chuckle. “I like you, candy man, I would never even dream of harming a hair on that twig body of yours.” 

“Me on the other hand,” Frank’s eyes flicked over to Kevin, making him back away in disgust. “I’d definitely harm every hair on your body if you asked.”  

The monster roared with laughter, slapping his knees. The way Frank acted, it reminded him of himself years ago whenever he had an obsession with certain humans or corpses. A pity that the candy store worker had to be the one the child kidnapper was currently interested in. 

Scowling at the two, he threw the bag at Frank’s face who caught it with ease with one massive hand. “Look, it’s late, can you please just give me the money, so I can move on with my life?” 

The van driver scoffed, glancing at the lemon man. “Isn’t he cute? Thinking he can order me around.” Nevertheless, he held out a wad of bills to Kevin, who swiped it out of his smelly hands, not even bothering to count them in his rush. Shoving the money in his pocket, he turned to the monster with a worried brow. “Uh, this is going to sound weird, but... good luck meeting those guys. They mean business.” With those final words said, he swiftly turned around, and jogged back inside the store. 

Basset’s curiosity was growing more and more. Clearly whoever had him on their hit list did their research before initiating the meeting. Shrugging the candy man’s warning off, he changed the subject. “What’s with you and candy man? He doesn’t strike me as the type to break laws.” 

“You’re right about that,” Frank agreed, turning the van on once more. “But after you killed my dealer, and sent me to jail I had to find another fast source of sugar real fast.” Scratching his stubble, a lecherous grin formed on his greasy mug. “For a little guy he had some balls – tried throwing me out and everything - but he’s slowly learning that we’re partners. Whether he likes it or not.” 

Nodding in understanding, Basset chuckled, relaxing in his seat. He didn’t have a complete picture of their relationship, but he could hear in Frank’s tone a certain lust, teetering on longing. It was almost like looking in a mirror. Albeit, his obsessions were more morbid than over monetary gain. 

If he were a decent person, he would send prayers to the candy man, but alas – he wasn’t. 

Their destination was a graveyard. A bit cliché for an attempted murderer to drag an actual murderer here, but he supposed the place was fitting for a meeting between bastards. Opening the door, he hopped out onto the pavement, and took one deep whiff of the air. The scent – as the waft hit his nostrils, he knew someone was going to die tonight, it was only a matter of who and when. For the first time ever, he didn’t want to commit a massacre. If Lila were to find out, she’d be horrified, and possibly break things off. 

Closing the door, he waved goodbye to Frank, who simply nodded with a malevolent smile, and drove off as quickly as he came. The man clearly knew more than he let on, but he didn’t care. Frank was small fry in the grand scheme of things; speaking of grand schemes, he wondered who could have plotted all of this. He’s made quite a few enemies in his past, but save for Eyes and some other demonic beings, they were all a blurry mess in his memories. You stop keeping track of victims at a certain threshold of bloodshed. 

Walking past the iron gates, his head swiveled left and right, searching for any sign of danger. The issue was that he could barely see in this mist, and the moonlight was blocked, stopping any light from entering the cold setting. What he did see were tombstones, stone angels on the verge of collapse, and on the foot of the graves were various flower pots. For such a small town, there sure were many humans who were put down six feet under the dirt, and he could recognize a few of them – his obsessions from the past. Were they able to, he was sure a couple dozen of these corpses would reach out from their holes, cursing his name and dragging him down with them. 

The thought made him sigh lovingly. In the end he found his true love – it only took a couple of serial killings to find her. 

The happy monster continued on his path, but the more he walked, the more he began to realize that he wasn’t alone. His ears – or whatever the human term for his hearing could be called – picked up on quiet voices, mummering around him. The mist was making it difficult to see, but as he peered closer to the shapes in the fog, he could make out a group of humans on their knees. Some were trying to hide their sobbing, muffling it as best they could while others chose to place their palms together in praying. 

 Clicking his tongue in annoyance, he spoke loudly over their mourning. “If you are the ones trying to end me, then crying isn’t going to do that for you.” 

As soon as he spoke those words, their quiet cries and prayers stopped. However, instead of the normal shouts of terror he was accustomed to, they simply stood up, and rotated until they were face to face.  he sensed it. A subtle killing intent in the air that wasn’t just from the meatsacks in front of him, but all around him. 

Taking his claws out of his pockets, he closed his eyes, breathing in and out. He had to control himself. He couldn’t do what his gut told him to anymore. It would be so easy to give in, and pounce on their thin necks, but - 

For her, he shall resist. 

A shuffling of footsteps behind him alerted his eyes to open, but he did not bother turning around. They had him surrounded, so there was no point in doing so. Instead, he licked his front teeth, offering one statement. “Is it just me, or is this some sort of reunion? I feel as if you all know me.” 

Someone stopped a few feet away from his back, and their scent was... really delectable – mouthwatering even – and oddly familiar. It was similar to Lila’s but stronger, tangier, making several knots churn in his stomach. This was not fear, he refused to believe it was. The master of puppeteering that emotion was him and him alone. 

“You could call this a reunion of sorts,” a feminine voice said, a very too familiar voice. Basset’s mind refused to acknowledge the possibility, but there was only one way to confirm his suspicions. 

His mouth dry as a desert, he slowly turned, and when she entered his peripheral vision, his signature smile fell into stunned dismay. The final jigsaw piece was inserted into the puzzle, and he did not like the picture that was shown.  

“Nillykine?” 

The tall redheaded woman met his stare with a dip of her head, placing a hand on her hip. Her skin, unblemished by bumps just as it was years prior, and the freckles on her nose – the ones he used to dream about glossing his tongue with – stayed hidden beneath a layer of mist, as she acknowledged him with a cold dead eyed stare, and a brisk nod.  

“Basset.” 

 “Well, we’re here!” 

Lila and Skid looked outside the window, the black iron gates of the graveyard along with the fog made it look more malignant than ever before, practically screaming at them to leave. Skid shifted in his seat, growing nervous, prompting his mother squeeze his hand, sending him a gentle smile before climbing out of the vehicle with him in tow. 

“S-Sooo, he’s inside?” Skid asked the old man. 

“Yes, sir,” he responded, checking his wristwatch. “Right about now the crimson one should be speaking to that beast to see what is has to say for itself. Then in about twenty minutes we should be getting a signal to charge in and help kill the thing.” 

Twenty minutes was not enough time to prepare, but she was going to have to make do. “Is the crimson one your leader?” 

The elderly man stroked his beard intensely, his voice raising an octave higher. “Yes! She doesn’t say a lot to us, but she understands the collective hatred we share for the repulsive monster!” 

“It also helps that she’s waay hot,” the youth by his hip said, using his index finger to draw the shape of a curve in the air. “Seriously, her hips could crush my -” 

A massive backhand was slapped across the back of his skull, silencing him. “I told you to stop your perverted comments, child! If she heard this, I can only imagine the kind of punishment we would have to face.” 

Skid looked up at Llia, tugging on her pants for clarification, but unsure of what to say to her son, she gave him a reassuring smile instead, hefting the bag of weapons over shoulders. “Anyways, you said he’s somewhere inside? Could you tell me where, so I can have a general idea of where we’re going?” 

“Oh, sure.” Taking out a map of a crudely drawn cemetery with different colored stick figures decorating the field, he pointed right at the center. “She will most likely be engaging him past the stone angels, and near this mass collection of tombstones where all of our forces will be waiting to attack.” 

“This is a very detailed map,” Lila held out one hand, an innocent smile betraying her ill intent. “Can I have it? I want to make sure me and my son don’t get lost in all that fog.” 

“Take your time to study it!” Handing over the piece of paper to her, he pointed out more helpful information. “The red figures are us and the yellow one is the fat ugly creature!” 

Lila let her smile fall. “I happen to like that he’s a bit bigger than most.” 

Skid nodded slowly. “His tummy makes a good pillow.” 

The older man blinked in surprise. “Er, what -” 

His sentence was cut off with a resounding thwack, the collective silver weapons colliding against his nose, and knocking him down onto the concrete unconscious. Skid picked up a stick from the ground, holding it up like a sword against the unarmed teenager. Alarmed, he put up his arms in surrender, glancing between the two. “W-woah! How about I just stay in the car while you guys do your thing, huh? I don’t really care for killing that lemon guy anyways.” 

Lila relented, not wanting to harm anyone she didn’t have to. “Son, come on. We don’t have a lot of time.” 

Skid ran on her tail, wooden stick still in hand. 

“You, uh, got a lot skinner,” Basset said, finally mustering the strength to speak up. 

“And your gut has expanded to the size of a bowling ball,” she muttered, pushing her crimson locks behind her ear. “As for me, a lot has happened over the time I’ve been gone, training every moment of my life for this moment.” 

She wasn’t straight up shoving a knife down his throat, which was surprising considering her claims. Perhaps she was calm due to having the upper hand in numbers. “... So, what is all this?” He spread his arms wide, gesturing the crowd around them. “Is this some sort of revenge plot? All for me?” Gnashing his teeth together, he slid one claw across his neck, imitating the slitting of a throat. “Nilly, you of all people should know that numbers don’t matter. All I see around me are more corpses waiting to be buried.” 

Unwavering in her stance, she began walking around him in a circle, eyes never straying from his. “Of course, I know that, Basset. I haven’t forgotten of what you’re capable of, but you can stay reassured that I have taken all the necessary precautions to take you down, once and for all.” 

“I find that a little hard to believe,” he sneered. “Your constant attacks were annoying to deal with, but that’s all they were – an annoyance. They didn’t wear me down, it only made me more motivated to crush the ones doing this to me and my -” he paused, his hat tilted just enough to hide his expression. “My...” 

“Your family?” She finished for him with a hint of sarcasm. “I was planning on sending an all-out attack during your little trip to the fair with them. It was a little more gung-ho than what I would have liked, but at the time I had just returned to this town, and all I could think about was ending your life in public display for everyone to see.” The monster’s eyes widened slightly, offput by the tranquility in her tone, as if she had practiced saying this multiple times. “Then I saw a most peculiar sight. It was you, confessing to a beautiful woman, and in turn, she embraced an abomination like you as her lover. My scouts immediately thought she had been brainwashed, but I knew it wasn’t a trick of yours. I’ve seen that look in her eyes before – I've felt that want for other men as well – that is, until they were all cut open by you, and I was stripped away of having that choice. Of ever having a chance at happiness.” 

Lifting his head, he met her eyes once more, this time with a smile that reached the edges of his cheeks. “Ah, I see what’s going on here now.” 

Tilting her head to the side, she stroked the hilt of a blade that was strapped to her thigh. “I was hoping you would. After all, I want you to fight with all your might and -” 

“You’re jealous.” 

Stopping, her brows furrowed, but her expression faded back into the iron mask she had grown accustomed to creating. “You’re accusing me of being jealous?” 

“It’s okay, I completely understandable. Seeing me with another woman as my mate, it’s made you want me, but it’s too late now. My heart belongs to another woman.” He sighed, placing a claw over where his heart was located. “You had your chance, Nillykine, but unfortunately, my future lies with her, and no one else.”  

The people around them took a step forward, but she raised a trembling hand up, stopping them in their tracks. Rage flowed through her like lava, no longer able to hide her emotions through a stone-cold demeanor. “I am going to enjoy cutting out every single ounce of pain out of your disgusting mouth.” 

“Aw, we can still be friends, can’t we?” 

She did not bother him with an answer, instead raising an arm and snapping her fingers. Much like an alarm clock, the sound awakened the humans surrounding him, and they all lunged with a cry, silver weapons at the ready. In the split second of the humans jumping to attack him, he thought about how even they held a familiar scent, but that should be impossible, he never left people alive before. Cooked or eaten raw is how their fates always ended. Pushing away those intruding thoughts, he snapped his own claws, covering the world around them in pitch darkness. Their blades missed their target, giving him the opportunity to slither behind their backs. An image of slitting their throats with his nails came to mind, but ultimately, he settled for latching onto the back of their skulls, and slamming them together like a pair of dominoes. He never had been good at anything else, but killing, so he wasn’t sure if he was giving them permanent brain damage or not. The point was to at least leave them alive, thus keeping his promise with Lila. 

Moving on to the next human who was struggling like the rest of his friends to see through the fog and the illusioned darkness. He decked a fist across his jaw, and before his body could crumple onto the dirt, he grabbed his leg, and began using the man as a makeshift weapon, batting away two more meatheads that were nearest to him. He hadn’t realized that he was laughing, his voice booming over their yells of despair. 

“We can’t see anything, mam!” A voice called out behind him, and he shut them down via grabbing his head, and slamming it onto a tombstone.  

The faint crackle of a radio reached his ears before Nillykine’s voice cut through the static. “Team rainfall, you know what to do.” 

“Understood, mam.”   

Bright lights blinded him, forcing him to step back as his eyes needed to adjust. The monster opened his mouth to mock them for only having flashy lights at their disposal, but the sounds of multiple things clicking made him think better of it. His legs carried him to cover behind a statue, but by then several deafening cracks of thunder filled the vicinity, the armed humans unloading as many bullets as their rifles could fire.  

Safe behind the angelic statue, he breathed in and out, the bullets whizzing past him, and passing through the dirt becoming background noise. His chest – it burned – like someone had stuck a sizzling iron pipe into it, and through his back. Glancing down, he blinked at the blossoming arterial blood seeping out of his chest, and onto the ground. He’d been shot so many times he wasn’t sure how he was alive. The massive heat rapidly turned into a sort of throbbing tingling numbness, consuming him whole. Unexpectedly, he coughed up blood; he hadn’t even felt the reflex coming. Hawking up more blood, he wiped it away from his chin, grunting in pain. 

Wonderful, they punctured his lungs. 

The damaged organs were slowly repairing themselves, but the regeneration was taking too slow. By the time the process finished they will find him and pour more bullets into his body. The only way to speed it up would be to eat raw flesh. 

“Drag him out,” her voice boomed, ever commanding over her small army. “Take too long, and his body will have healed. Don’t worry about ammunition, his regeneration can withhold as many bullets as a tank would.” 

Cursing himself, he squeezed his eyes shut, having a plan in mind, but it wasn’t one he liked.  

Damn it, Lila...  

Kneeling to the soil beneath him, he shoved both his claws underground, punching them with all his might, until both his arms were deep into the dirt, and then he moved. Shoveling away at a speed that would put most moles to shame, it took only a few seconds for the entire upper half of his torso to be buried inside the tunnel he was making. 

“Hey! It’s trying to escape underground!” 

Guns fired, but despite the tight fit with his new round belly, he was able to squeeze through before any of the bullets could hit their target. 

“Follow it! It can’t have gone far!” 

“No,” Nillykine spoke, chewing on the butt of a cigarette. “You follow him, and you’re like not ever come back up again.” 

The four soldiers glanced nervously at each other. “... Then what do we – AH!” One of the soldier’s ankles had been grabbed by a claw emerging from the depths of the Earth, and pulling with the strength of all his squad mates combined. “SHOOT IT! SHOOT IT!” His commands were muffled out by the cracking of bullets firing into the dirt, but it didn’t stop the monster from pulling his victim down, screaming the entire way until there was nothing left of him. 

The redhead scowled, stepping closer to the hole he had made. “This isn’t like you, Basset. Knowing you, you would have already torn these men apart in seconds, so why are you resorting to these cowardly methods?” She waited for an answer, and when none reached her ears, she sighed, reaching out for one of the grenades on the nearest soldier, right below his belt. The man flushed, stammering his words, but she quickly ordered him to shut up, pulling the pin out, and chucking it down the tunnel, along with her cigarette.  

A resounding explosion rocked the graveyard, dirt, and mud rising high above before collapsing back down. There was no sight of the monster, but they searched the area anyways, their backs to each other in case of any surprises sneaking up behind them. 

What they didn’t expect was for their opponent to rise up right in front of them, more furious than ever, his eyes burning right into their souls. They knew it was the end for them, but they took their chances anyways, with the forefront soldier, taking aim to fire, but Basset seized hold of the muzzle, and forced the butt of the rifle into his nose. Reeling from the impact, his other two companions fired, but the monster used his body as a shield, and he was quickly covered in friendly fire, becoming a fountain of his own bright red blood. He didn’t expect them to fire so willingly, but it didn’t matter, because in their confusion, he threw his meat shield away, lunging and grabbing the bigger male’s neck, forcing him to make eye contact. 

“Kill him.” 

Nodding once, he turned, and shot his ally only once with the barrel of his shotgun. With the last of the armed human gone, Basset snapped his claws.  

“Fall.” 

And with that, he had fallen.

“M-mom, was that...” 

She heard it too. The sound of gunfire. They were really prepared to kill him, and while she believed he could take care of himself, panic was beginning to seep into her nerves. What the hell did he do that got this many people riled up to kill him? 

… Scratch that, she could think of many things. 

“Son, I need you stay here, find some place to hide, and wait for me to come back.” 

Skid dropped his stick, feeling an emotion between shocked and fury. “B-but I want to see if Mr. Lemon is okay!” 

“I know you do, but I do not want you getting hurt.” She kneeled to his level, resting both hands on his shoulders, gazing at him with a face that told him that there was no budging from this. “Promise me that you will not move from this spot.” 

Skid’s eyes stayed glued to the ground, but he nodded in defeat. “... But you have to promise me that you will come back, okay mom?” 

She cupped his cheeks, pecking him on the forehead. “Of course, I will, sweetie.” 

He relaxed a tad, which in turn made soothed her nerves as well. Dropping the bag she carried, she took out two silver daggers from it, twirling them in her hands as she stood back up. “I’m leaving the rest of them here in case you need them, son. You probably don’t, but -” She bit her lip. “- Just in case.” 

“... Okay, mom.” 

An explosion shook the ground beneath them, breaking their moment, and bringing Lila back to the harsh reality before her. Sprinting towards the sounds, she could see faint figures in the fog, but none of them were her boyfriend. 

It was going to take more than a little fog, and some angry monster hunters to stop her from finding him, though. 

The monster gasped, wheezing from his injuries as she stood a few feet away from him. Judging him as she watched him struggle to do the simple act of standing up. He was engulfed in grime, bruises, and a mix of his own blood along with her subordinates. He had taken more damage than he had accounted for, thus making his regeneration fail miserably, with half of his body covered in shrapnel from the explosive. Even with his speed, he didn’t take into account of the small object exploding into several fast-moving metal parts that tore his body apart by the inside and out.  

Nillykine scoffed at the sight before her. “You are fucking pathetic.” 

“... W-Wha -” he coughed, splattering blood at her heels. “W-What?!” 

“You are not the same monster I knew, the monster who would stop at nothing to make everyone around him suffer on a whim. Do you think we want you to just knock us out?!” She gestured to the others around her, as they held their weapons close to their chest. “All of us. Mothers who lost their children, husbands wanting to avenge their fallen wives, people who have had loved ones taken away by you have all come together to put an end to you, and what do you do? You take a liking to some woman, and have the gall to act as if you deserve to have her – to have a family of your own while you destroyed many others?!” Seething with fury, she went on, stepping closer, unafraid of him. “And then you turn into some fucking lovesick dog who’s putty in her hands. I wanted a final climax with a bloodthirsty beast, not some PET!” 

Basset laughed, but only briefly. The act made his chest throb in agony. “You wanna know something funny?” He hacked some more, spitting out more of his internal bleeding from his blood-covered maw. “I-I still don’t feel any guilt for what I did. N-Nothing! Heh!” The giggle fell into a fit of coughs, sending him to his knees. 

“That’s okay.” Nillykine whispered, surprising him with her neutral tone. “I know just what to do that will make us all feel better. Well, everyone but you of course.” Leaning down next to his head, she continued, her voice even lower than before. “I sent one of my people to get your little girlie to join us here~” 

For the first time, he felt true fear for the well-being of someone that wasn’t himself. Seeing the tension spread across his body, she stepped back, this time with a cruel grin on her perfect face. “I am going to murder that woman, and her child. Right. In front. Of you.” 

“Nillykine...” His eyes met her, this time the hatred in his matching her own, as they both stared each other down. “Lay a single finger on her, and you – YOU AND ALL YOUR FLESH FRIENDS WILL NEVER HAVE WISHED TO COME BACK! AND IF I COULD GO BACK – BACK TO WHEN THIS ALL STARTED – I WOULD DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN JUST TO WATCH AS YOUR SANITY DROPS AGAIN!”  

Her smile stayed firm, never dropping. “That’s the Basset I know.” 

“BASSET!” 

Lila’s voice ceased his anger, but it also rose the fear in his heart. Glancing behind Nillykine, he saw her, his guardian angel coming to save him with two daggers in her hands. Her hair was a mess, the two top buttons of her shirt swayed uselessly against the wind, and the beads of sweat running down her forehead made her seem like a crazed animal, but she never seemed more beautiful than now. 

His ex turned away from him, walking towards his true mate. “Hold him back. I’m going to kill the woman.” 

Alarmed, he stood up, ignoring his body crying out to stop his sudden movement. “LILA DO NOT COME ANY CLOSER!” 

A kitana was swung in his direction, barely missing him as the assailants prepared to move forwards.  

“KILL THEM ALL!” 

Her proclamation made everyone stop what they were doing, even Nillykine was so shocked, her mouth was agape, staring wide eyed at Lila. 

“DID YOU NOT HEAR ME?!” Lila shouted once more, her head tilted up to snarl at the woman trying to kill him. “I SAID KILL THEM ALL! EVERY SINGLE FUCKING ONE!” 

The monster roared, the chains gone, and both love and glee swirling in his thoughts over that one sentence. Could there be anyone any more perfect? His legs were useless, but using the last of the strength from his arms, he propelled from his spot, pouncing onto the closest meatbag who was dumb enough to stand near him when Lila gave him the permission to kill. 

His teeth sunk into their neck – their juicy, delectable blood seeping onto his tastebuds, plunging him into paradise. He had cast away such nirvana when he entered a relationship with his mate, but given the permission to feast upon flesh, it felt as if he were sharing a meal with her. Like married couples do, but with human meat.  

His paradise was ruined when he heard several odd high-pitched beeps going off around him. Opening one eye, the snarky grins of the others around him made his hunger die down considerably. Shouldn’t they be afraid? The one he had bitten, raised a shaky hand before him, with a large red button in the palm of his hand. 

“You took the bait, you dumb bastard.” 

Then he pressed down on it. 

Everything went up in a flash, blinding Lila as she was forced to cover her face with her arms from the bright light and debris flying past. When it was all over, she timidly searched for the monster, but there was only smoke, piles of ash, and burnt corpses falling from the sky. She couldn’t distinguish anything, but death. 

“Damn,” the tall redheaded woman muttered, sliding a large blade from her thigh. “I told those idiots not to do that unless it’s an emergency. Guess they wanted to kill him rather than torture him like I did.” 

“Y-You bitch!” Lila stuttered, getting into a stance, tears blurring her vision. “You are going to pay for doing that!” 

“Are you really crying?” She scoffed, not even bothering to defend her actions. “He deserved to die, I think you and I both know that.” 

“Shut up! I stopped caring about anything he did after you came!” 

Nillykine parried an incoming attack and Lila quickly slashed out another attack, catching her by surprise.  

“I was happy with him! He was MINE!” 

Lila swung the blades over Nillykine as she crouched last-second to avoid them, then to standing up, slashing the lavender haired woman across her stomach. Lila ground her teeth together and stepped back, clutching onto the cut, tainting her hand with the red blood. 

“I hate you too, you know,” she muttered, staring her down like a teacher would a child. “You act like a girl, thinking you love a thing that doesn’t even know the meaning of the word, and then turning him into something he’s not.” 

“You don’t know anything about me,” Lila seethed, gripping the hilt of her daggers until her knuckles were white. “You have no clue how much he tried to change. How much I wanted to help!” 

One blade came in high, while the other tried to move around her, and stab her from behind. Nillykine parried the frontal attack with ease and spun to dodge the other swift attack. 

“You’re fast, but you aren’t good enough,” she taunted, causing Lila brows to furrow even more. “Give up, and you can join your disgusting fetish in hell.” 

With a yell, Lila tackled her midsection, taking the air out of her, but not enough to fall. Using her height to her advantage, she grabbed Lila by the neck, lifting her up, and digging her weapon into her wound. The woman grinned condescendingly, believing she had won, but fell onto the dirt with a shriek when Lila returned the favor with an attack on her eye, using her chin to pummel it onto the sensitive organ. 

Lila gasped to catch her breath, not yet feeling the stab wound registering yet, until Nillykine rushed over, digging a knee onto the open wound in her stomach. She clawed at her face, but the redhead showed no mercy, grabbing one of the dropped daggers, and raising it high into the air before using all her might to thrust it into Lila’s face. She caught her wrists mere inches away from the sharp weapon reaching her eyes, barely able to hold it back from the lack of air reaching her lungs. Nillykine continued to dig her knee into her wound, no matter how hard she tried to kick her off, she knew exactly what she was doing, and was able to keep Lila pinned down. 

“Now then. Lila, was it? ~” she cooed, a manic gleam in her eye. “Join that bastard in -” 

A set of teeth chomped onto her shoulder, making her cry out in pain. It gave Lila the opportunity to pry her off of her, and crawl away to catch her breath. She glanced over to see her saved her, and was breathless once again. Basset had survived, his body and face melted away from the explosion, but he survived, and had saved her. 

Nillykine screamed once more, this time with rage, plunging the silver blade onto his eye. It only served to make his teeth clench even tighter around her, splurging more blood from her.  

“FUCKING DIE ALREADY YOU MONSTER!” 

Lila stood, running to his aid. “STOP HURTING HIM OR -” 

A shuriken whizzed past her. Lila’s eyes widened as she watched it bury itself into the woman's throat. Her expression stuck in rage, she gurgled something out to her, probably cursing them out before falling limp. Basset unlatched himself from her, turning over onto his back, confirming her death. Skid let out a shaky breath, his arm still outstretched from his throw, with a whine coming from his throat. Lila's heart clenched at the sound and limped back to check on him. 

Her son didn’t seem to respond for a moment. In shock due to having killed a person. He didn’t want this for him, he should not have to endure this chaos and bloodshed. Saying nothing, she took him in her arms, and despite the blood dripping from her midsection, he embraced her back, trembling in her arms. 

A groan reminded the two that they still had one more to save person to save, and they both walked over to Basset. Lila wanted to cry just looking at him. His wounds were still openly flowing with life essence, grime, and gore covered his clothes, half his face was burned from the explosion, and his jaw was bent in an unnatural angle, it was a marvel he was able to even bite down on the ringleader. 

Groaning once more, he stared at them, sighing in relief at seeing them alive. “L-Lila... you came.” 

“Oh, sweetie,” she whispered, bending down to cup the side of his face that was melted with her hand. “Of course, I did.” 

Glancing at Skid with somber eyes, he worked his mouth slowly. “Y-You t-too, Skid?” 

The boy looked away, unsure of what to say. “... I didn’t want you to get hurt.” 

He tried to smile, but it his face, so he ended up grimacing. “That makes me so... happy.” 

“Shh, it’s okay, you can relax now.” Lila whispered, moving to help him sit up. “We can talk later once you get to a hospital.” 

Basset shook his head, eyes downcast. “Don’t think I'm going to make it, plumie.” 

She nearly dropped him. “What do you mean? Your body heals, doesn’t it?!” 

“Without flesh my body heals slowly...” pausing to wheeze, he pressed on. “Those idiots all exploded before I could eat... and everything hurts so much. I don’t think there is any blood left inside me either.” 

“Stop.” She uttered with a shaky breath, trying to calm herself. “S-Stop talking like that, you’re g-going to be fine.” 

Skid touched his claw with his own hand, finding it to be dead cold. He tried to squeeze their fingers together, but the monster did not have the energy to reciprocate the action. 

“... Mr. Lemon?” 

He swallowed a lump in his throat, his one intact eye switching between the two before slowly closing. “I’m sorry...” 

“NO!” Lila looked around frantically. “What about -” she was struck silent when the tall woman’s body was gone, leaving behind a pool of blood. “WHERE DID SHE GO?!” 

Basset coughed up more blood onto her lap, which only made her hold him closer to her. It was selfish, she knew it was. That woman was right on some things, maybe he didn’t deserve to live for everything he’s done to others, but he was hers now, he went as far as to sacrifice his own body to protect her and her son, and she couldn’t have him taken away from her after he did all of this for her. 

Which was why... 

“Would an arm do?” 

The monster opened his eye, struggling in his attempt. “W-What?” 

“My arm,” she specified, raising it above his mouth. “... Would an arm be enough to save you?” 

Skid’s eyes widened, shoving his mother’s arm back down. “Mom, no! You can’t have Mr. Lemon eat your arm, that’s crazy!” 

“I-” gasping for air, he coughed twice before continuing. “- The kid is right, Lila... I-I would rather die than hurt you.” 

“But if it’s enough to save you, I want to do it.” Tears were forming in her eyes again, but she kept her voice steady. “I don’t want to lose you this soon.” 

Watching her tears fall from her cheeks tore him apart. “Lila I... please don’t make me do this. I’ve done enough to hurt you and the boy.” 

“Mr. Lemon... will it save you?” 

Not trusting himself to say anything unethical, he nodded in confirmation to Skid. 

“... Do you promise not to hurt anyone else if it happens? Especially to mom and me?” 

“Skid I... I never wanted to hurt you guys, I mean, I did, but... I just -” he stopped, shamefully glancing down at his battered chest. “... I was scared you two wouldn’t want me around anymore.” 

Skid blinked. “Huh, me too.” 

Basset opened his mouth in confusion, only to greet his teeth in pain. Skid nodded to his mother, who seemed to have made up her mind as well. “Mom... I’m going to hide and look away.” 

She hugged him, and in the back of Skid’s mind, he relished this moment because it was going to be the last time she ever hugged him with both her arms. The boy ran as far away as he could to hide behind a tombstone, or even a statue, anything that can block from watching what his mom was going to do. 

Lila exhaled, smiling down at Basset, and even at death’s door, he couldn’t help, but coo with delight. “You look like an angel, plumie...” 

Wiping a tear away, she offered her arm out, hanging it over his mouth. “Are you ready?” 

“... I still don’t want to do this to you.” 

“Basset, please.” She hovered closer to his jaw, waiting for him to take a bite. “Live. For me.” 

Gently taking her arm in his claws, he whispered, “I am going to do this as fast as I can. I don’t want to drag this out, I don’t want to hurt you, and I am sorry for everything.” 

“Basset,” she cupped his cheek again, kissing his forehead. “It’s okay. I already forgive you.” 

Hearing those words, it made the lump in his throat feel bigger. If he were able to cry, he would have right on the spot. Lila and Skid deserved so much more than this. How could he possibly ever repay them? 

He opened his jaw, and Lila closed her eyes shut, her nails digging into her pants as she waited for the teeth to cut the bone and marrow clean through. 

The consumption of her arm took a second at most. 

And yet Skid – who ran several dozen feet away – still heard her scream. 

Chapter Text

It's been a while since she admitted this to herself, but the last few nights have been very boring at the morgue. Not that she minded, she preferred her shifts at work to be mundane rather than the insanity she experienced with the yellow bastard a few nights ago. God knows she was exhausted after everything that transpired.  

Yet, when arriving back to her small home and returning to her regular schedule, there was a bit of a readjustment period in her mind. Paranoia led her to believe that the monster would show up at any second, barging into her workspace and demanding her time, but no such scenario occurred. Instead, she was greeted with a welcome silence every time she clocked in and out. Maybe it meant that everything was going well for the odd couple? Sure, he was a piece of work in his own league of wanton mayhem, but Lila's taste in men have always been rather... uncanny. Maybe that trait was what balanced both their weirdly similar needs out?  

Not that she knew anything about relationships. None of her own lasted very long.   

A knocking sound from behind awoke her heart with a start, tightening her grip on her scalpel, ready to stab anything yellow colored, but she relaxed moments after. It couldn't be him; he would never knock like a polite person would.  

Turning back to the corpse, she yelled, "come in!"  

As the door opened, she provided a brief glance to see who it was, and found herself meeting the eyes of her supervisor who looked as pale as a ghost, her coat and hair in disarray. Blinking, she set the scalpel down, and stood up straight. “Oh, hey.” She offered quietly, wincing internally at her lack of professionalism. “Do you need my reports? I’m almost done documenting them, just need a little more time.”  

“No, Patty, that is actually the least of my worries,” she sighed, fingers treading through her own hair in distress. “You can leave the body and the report, you’re urgently needed upstairs by one of the patients who claim to know you.”  

The blonde guessed at who it could be, and groaned at the thought of the only possible suspect. She removed her gloves, and lowered her facemask, eyes shifting between her boss and the unattended work. “Alright, but this body is claimed, and will need to have its blood drained for the embalming. I have the fluids set up for the procedure, and -”  

“I’ll take care of it, Patty,” the woman said hurriedly, waving her concerns away. “I’m sorry if I’m coming off as harsh, but the... guest upstairs almost killed the entire nursing staff when he got here. We’re dealing with the patient he brought in at the emergency site, but he won’t calm down unless we adhere to his demands.” She paused, pursing her lips. “Which was after he stopped tearing the place apart that he finally mentioned your name. Please do us all a favor and hurry.”  

Patty nodded, no longer able to meet her boss’s eyes, and quickly scurried out of the room, clad in her uniform. While the feeling of kicking his jaw open came to mind for making her higher up kick her out, she felt worried about the patient she mentioned him bringing.   

It better not be who she thinks it is...  

Arriving to the upper floor, she felt out of place here. The only people she ever interacted with at work were her boss and the coroner who would come by at varying days, depending on what information he needed on a deceased. Now she was here with all these people around her, buzzing about as they continued to fulfill their duties. Some glanced at her, and she swore she caught a few grimaces being sent her way, but she ignored them for now. If what her boss said was true, then she couldn’t blame them for being cautious around her.   

Moving onto the emergency site, she halted in her steps as she opened the double doors. It was if a tornado had traveled through the place. Chairs for the patients were spread about, claw marks decorated the white porcelain walls and floors, the single television in the room had been struck clean off its hinge, wires laying uselessly, and smoke rising from within the machination.  

The only thing that was unharmed from the scene before her was the skeleton wearing boy from the carnival. Except this time, he hid it beneath a black hoodie, the mask clutched tightly between his fingers. His small legs were kicking absentmindedly in the air, his forlorn gaze glued to the ground, uncaring of the chaotic mess surrounding him.  

She approached him nervously, unsure of how to address Lila's son. "Uh, hey, kid."  

Skid’s head slowly lifted; his facial features hidden by the shadow of his hoodie, but the slump of his shoulders and a brief glimpse of his droopy eyelids under the hood told her that the boy had gone through a lot recently.  

A beat passed before he found the energy to reply. “Hi, Ms. Patty...”  

She did her best not to grimace from the name. ‘Ms. Patty’ made her feel older than what she actually was. “Where’s you mom?”  

He used his index finger to point over to the next room over, where the curtains were drawn, and the door sealed shut. She could make out a couple of figures hovering over a patient, which she assumed was Lila. Patty gulped, knowing that the room was only used for immediate surgery, and was starting to think of the worst possible scenario. “Y-Your mom’s -” she paused, choosing her next words carefully. “- her friend with the big teeth, where is he?”  

Skid slumped in his seat, closing his tired eyes. “... Mr. Lemon had to be taken away. He carried mom here, but they told him he had to get out of the hospital. I think they thought he was going to hurt everyone here too.” His wording made Patty’s stomach drop even further, but Skid continued, “I was going to try to tell the doctors that he was okay, but... he got really mad, and started throwing everything around, and everyone ran away. They put him in a white jacket, and left with him.”  

Patty opened her mouth to ask for more details, but with perfect timing, the subject of their conversation burst through the doors. The straightjacket Skid had mentioned was torn apart, pieces of the restraint flung to the other side of the room, landing with a small clang. Panting heavily, he leaned against the wall, doing his best to catch his breath. Like Skid, he also had the features of someone who been through too much in one day, but in addition to his baggy eyes, his clothing was battered, with several tears, scorch marks, and dried blood adorning the trench coat. The belly he was unashamed of showing off to everyone now sported burn scars that ran all the way up to his chest. It was as if he had just come back from a war, and he was the sole survivor of the battle.  

The battle-worn monster spoke, his voice trembling. "W-Where... is she?"  

While still shaken to her core, Patty took a step towards him, a rare feeling of concern washing over her. "I'll tell you, but first you need to sit down and rest while I do."  

"No," he muttered, clearly agitated from whatever had happened to him. Sniffing the air twice, some semblance of life returned to him, his beady eyes narrowing in on the operating room. "She's in there isn't she? Without me to see what they're doing to her?"  

"Mr. Lemon... please don't." Skid pleaded with a politeness that belied the fatigue he was feeling.  

Basset shook his head, his lungs heaving as he did his best to walk forwards without any support. "N-No... No, I have to see her. I must. See her. I'll tear apart this - this -" he dropped to one knee, nearly doubling over, but Patty rushed over just in time to latch onto his side to aid his balance. "- this entire hospital if it means getting to her..."  

"Jesus, listen to yourself," she said, helping him back up on his own two feet. "You can barely even get your words out. She's with professionals now, I'm sure whatever happened to her can be fixed as long as you give them time to do so." Patty knew that was not a hundred percent guarantee, but with the emotional distress he was currently undergoing, and the violence he's already inflicted, he needed to be reassured that Lila was going to be okay.  

A growl crawled its way out of his throat, and the next thing she knew there was a claw wrapped around her throat, cutting off the air to her lungs. Basset opened his mouth to roar, but closed it, staring at her in shock as if noticing it was her talking to him for the first time. Letting her go, she quickly shoved him away, gasping for air. He didn't fight back. Shamefully, his eyes tore away from her, onto the ground.  

"... Sorry," he whispered, unwilling to meet her eyes. "But this is all my fault and I must see her. I can't let anyone stop me."  

She tried to sputter a response, rightfully outraged from his attempt to strangle her, but Skid beat her to the punch. "You're doing it again."  

Basset turned to Skid, slightly confused. "... What?"  

"You're getting angry and hurting people." Skid looked away, more tired than indignant. "I know you don't feel bad about that stuff, but look what happened to mom.... to Ms. Patty." The monster's eye twitched, but said nothing in regards to his statement, choosing to stay silent. He couldn't expect anyone - especially a boy to understand. Feeling remorse for his past murders was – it was ludicrous! He enjoyed doing what he did, it was stupid to think back on it now! So what if Lila got hurt?! That didn’t mean it was – it was...  

Nillykine came for him, so why was she the one hurt?  

“... Lila was stabbed, so many times.” Like a zombie, he stumbled onto a chair, sliding down until he was adjacent to the two of them. “She came to save me, and she gets gutted in the stomach for it. She stood up for me and what do I do?” His tongue instinctively tried to flicker out of his maw, but he chewed on it to stop the animalistic desire. The taste of her iron blood still fresh on his tastebuds. “I.. I tear out her arm like a chew toy.”  

“You fucking WHAT?!” Patty shrieked.  

“Language, Ms. Patty.” Skid scolded.  

Patty muttered a small ‘sorry’ in his direction, looking as if she was about to tackle Basset to the ground. Her stance hesitantly lowered, when the monster in front of her lowered his head, resting both of his claws at the top of his head, clutching and digging his nails into the skin until it drew blood.   

“A-Are you good?” She asked, not sure how to proceed with him anymore.  

His body began trembling, his shoulders shaking as if he was trying to hold something back. Staring at him in disbelief, she tried one more time to comfort him, this time raising her hand to place it on his back, but stopped dead in her tracks when small drops of tears fell onto his lap, leaving behind wet spots on his pants.  

The man was crying.  

The realization made her reel back. The blonde wanted to be angry at him, but with the way he was grieving over whatever happened he was making it extremely difficult to want to punch him. Slowly stepping back, she took a seat next to Skid, who couldn’t find it within himself to continue arguing with the monster anymore.  

They sat there in silence, waiting to be called on.

An hour must have passed. The clock was shattered, so the only reason she knew was because it was at this time of hour that she would be dead asleep after downing several glasses of whiskey. When the surgeon exited the operation room, it dawned on her that she was too sober for this situation, and desperately needed a drink to calm her nerves.   

The surgeon cautiously beckoned them over. It was clear from the way he was eyeing the monster that he was wary but to his credit he did not move despite having witnessed him attack most of the staff.  

Patty cleared her throat to break the ice. "Er, how is she?"  

The surgeon lowered his facemask, his expression unfathomable. "Due to the blood loss, she was already unconscious by the time we got her to the table. It was fortunate that however her arm was cut -" he glanced to the monster whose eyes were still teary eyed, not really registering the words. "- it was a quick cut, so I was able to salvage most of the healthy tissue needed for future needs and discarded the damaged tissue along with the crushed bones before it could get infected."  

"By future, you mean for prosthetic surgery?" Patty inquired.  

The surgeon nodded. "Some patients choose to go through life without the aid of it, and it is possible to do so, but should she decide she wants to undergo the procedure, then yes."  

"Can we see her?" Basset spoke in low voice, not paying attention to anything they were saying.  

A beat passed, the surgeon chewing on his lip before sighing. Normally he wouldn’t allow visitors so soon after a procedure, but seeing as how the thing in front of him had no qualms with assaulting people he simply had no choice. "I'll get my staff to leave the room to give you the space you need, but be gentle. She's still very weak from the loss of blood and the surgery."  

He entered back into the operating room, leaving the trio to dwell on his words. It felt surreal to Patty how quickly things went from cute dates at a fair to arm amputation. She may not know the full story, but if he did this to her unprompted then maybe it was a mistake to help him in his romantic quest.  

"You two go first," the monster said, interrupting her thoughts. "I think she would want to see you guys rather than..." his gaze dropped, not wanting to finish the sentence.  

Patty rolled her eyes. "You were the one who attacked half the people who work here to see her, what made you change your mind?"  

"... After what the boy said - after what I did to you - I don't think I deserve to."  

A flash of guilt crossed Skid's face, but he stayed silent, more worried for the welfare of his mother, and truth be told, there was truth in that statement. If he really did chew out her arm, would she even want to see him? Patty knew Lila liked him, but surely not enough to sacrifice a limb, right?  

Against her better judgement, she patted his arm lightly. “I don’t know what the hell happened, but I get the feeling she’s going to want to see you too, so don’t go too far, okay?”  

He nodded, scratching his neck. “I won’t go anywhere. Not anymore.”  

Lila let out a soft groan, the bed she was in was probably the most uncomfortable bed she had ever slept on in her life, and that was definitely saying something considering she had slept against her boyfriend’s round soft belly multiple times. The thought of that privilege made her appreciate those moments more. She squeezed her eyes shut tight, not ready to open them and let the world know she was awake. The last thing she remembered was that the rescue had gone wrong, her partner was blown up in front of her, she fought against the foul-mouthed redhead until he came to her rescue, and then – pain. Pure, hellish pain. She was probably in a hospital room now, it felt like the lights above her were trying to blind her, but her pupils began to adjust accordingly. The lavender woman reached up to rub at her face tiredly, a sharp pain shot up her right arm, causing her toes to curl.  

She froze.  

Her fingers.   

She wiggled them for a moment, a frown appearing on her face, a crease between her brows. It felt like they were all there but at the same time, not there. She could feel her fingers on her left hand, but on her right hand? It was like a ghost of a feeling. Lila’s eyes snapped open at that. She read about phenomenon like this after amputations, something about phantom pain? Where the person could still feel the limb even after, despite it being removed. Lord, she hoped this wasn’t going to be permanent.  

“Mom! You’re awake!” The shrill cry of her son lifted her heart until he leaped onto the hospital bed, whisking the air out of her lungs from the tackle.  

“S-Son, sweetie, I-I'm okay,” she rasped, trying to will both her arms to – no – the one arm to wrap around her child to bring him closer, but found little to no strength to do so. “I’m okay, I’m here.”  

Skid sniffled into the base of her neck, hugging her as if she would fade away soon. Lila certainly felt she would, but did her best to requite his hug by nuzzling her head on top his head. A feminine voice coughed, prompting her to put effort into gazing upwards, meeting the nervous gaze of her blonde friend. Her stare was focused on her downtrodden face, wishing she could do more than offer a few words of condolences.  

Her hand suddenly pressed into Lila’s shoulder. “Lila, I’m glad you’re finally awake,” Patty said gently. Lila tore her eyes away from the spot where her arm was supposed to be and gave her friend a heartbroken look. She gave him a sad smile in return. “The doctors did everything they could, but they couldn’t save your arm. It was just, Lila, it was  gone ,” Patty said softly. The blonde reached a hand over and squeezed Lila’s intact one lightly. “But we’re here with you every single step of the way. The doctors should be in here soon to talk to you about the next steps you want to take.”  

Lila’s lips pursed into a slight frown. “I’d rather be taken out of here as soon as possible.”  

“You know they can’t do that, Lila,” she advised, crossing her arms. “They have to tell you about the options you have, medications, physical counseling, or a prosthetic.”  

Skid looked up curiously with a tilt in his head. “What’s a prosthetic?”  

Lila hummed before replying. “It’s kind of like a metal part to help people without arms or limbs, son.”  

“Woaah,” his eyes widened, practically sparkling. “You’re going to have a robot arm, mom?!”  

“Er, I’m still not sure about that, sweetie.” She glanced down at the empty space where her arm should be, her thoughts muddled from what happened till now. “It’s something I'll have to think about.”  

Skid nodded, but was already imagining how his mother would look with a mechanical limb. Robots weren’t exactly spooky, but if she does get a robot arm then he already knows what they’re going to be dressed as for October.  

Lila’s eyes shifted between them, looking all around the room after noticing a certain someone missing. “Say, where is Basset?”  

Patty and Skid blinked. “Basset?”  

She sighed. “Mr. Lemon.”  

“He’s outside the room, sulking like a boy.” She paused, afraid to ask, but knew she had to anyways. “Lila, what happened? All I could get out of him was that it was somehow his fault and that he was sorry.”  

Lila winced, staring back up at the ceiling lights. “It’s a long story, Patty. We’ll be here all night if I told you, but it wasn’t... entirely his fault.” The snap of bone breaking and the anguish of her limb being pulled out was engraved in her mind, but she wanted to talk to him again to make sure he was alright. “I promise I'll tell you everything later, but I need to talk to him first.”  

Patty chewed on her lip, but ultimately nodded, taking her phone out of her pocket. “I’ll give Jaune a call in the meantime then. She’s going to want to hear about this.”  

Lila beamed at her, practically glowing. “Thank you, Patty.”  

“Er, right!” Patty flushed, nudging Skid with her hand behind his back. “Come on, kid, your mom wants some space with the lemon man.”  

Skid’s face soured at the thought, but quickly rushed to Lila, pecking her cheek with a kiss. “I’ll be waiting outside, mom! I think I'll start drawing ideas for what kind of robot arm the doctors can make you.”  

She giggled, brushing his hair to the side. “I want to see those drawings too, okay son?”  

The monster hadn’t moved from his spot since they entered, the minutes ticking by feeling like hours. Gah! Why was he even waiting?! Is this what guilt is?! This deep pit of queasiness in his stomach? He should stomp in there, and take Lila back, she would be a lot safer in his arms than anywhere else after all.  

“Hey,” Patty’s voice shook him back to the hospital, with Skid following besides her. He took notice of both individuals seemingly a lot livelier, especially Skid, who minutes ago was the textbook definition of miserable, appeared to be deep in thought about something. “You’re lucky, you know.” Patty continued, gesturing a thumb behind her. “She still wants to see you.”  

Her need to see him brought back some confidence to the surface as he puffed out his chest, but stopped, as the movement stretched his slightly opened wounds. “Ow! I mean – of course she would. Who wouldn’t?”  

She scoffed, sitting down next to Skid who went on to nab a pen from the floor. “Don’t do anything crazy, okay? I think we've all had enough tonight.”  

Opening his maw to protest, he promptly closed it. “I’ll try, but with her it’s... difficult not to.”  

“Just go Mr. Lemon,” Skid gagged, beginning to start drawing on the white wall. Patty didn’t have the heart to stop him. “And don’t do anything icky.”  

Basset chuckled, appreciative of the two. He’d have to find some way to thank them later. Pushing through the doors, their eyes instantly locked onto each other. Her hair was in disarray, and she looked as if she was forcing her eyes to stay open, but despite all of that, she was still the same beautiful woman he fell in love with. The lemon man froze for less than a second until the last part of his resistance withered away, and he dove towards her, his arms locking themselves around her, and lifting her up from the bed. She yelped, making him swoon as he purred into her cheek, nuzzling his face onto it.  

Lila tried to return his affections, but couldn’t breathe. Her arm tapped his shoulder, “Sweetie, I-I need air, please.”  

He whined, but gently lowered her back onto the bed, his arms still wrapped around her. “Plumie, I-” he glanced at the stub, guilt washing over him. “I’m sorry for everything... mostly for your arm, though.”  

“Basset, I told you to do it, it’s alright,” she murmured, smiling up at him as he curled her strands of hair with his claws. Her stare trailed down to his chest, the scars making her gape in horror. “My god, your scars.”  

He tilted his head, glancing down, and waving her concern away. “Oh this? This is nothing, plumie. This is child’s play compared to what I dealt with. You need to worry about yourself more.”  

“Stop talking about yourself like that,” she said with a tone that made his humorous mood deflate. “I know you’re not human, and you can do more than any of us can, but Basset you -” she grasped his coat with her arm, wanting to convey to him her feelings deeply, so that he could understand. “- you made me scared for you. I thought you died, and you almost did die if it wasn’t for... this.” She gestured to her left with her head, too tired to add more.  

The monster sighed, wishing he stopped hurting the woman he loved. “Lila I – I'm sorry. I’m too used to that life. The bloodshed. The chaos. It’s... fun, but I promised I would change, so I went alone to protect you and the boy. I even held back as to not murder them outright, but... in the end they threatened to go after you, and I lost control.” Gazing into her eyes, he let go of her hair, and started caressing her hand. “I’m a bastard, Lila. If it wasn’t for me ruining their lives, they wouldn’t have come for me, they wouldn’t have threatened your life and your son’s, and you wouldn’t have to lose your arm.”  

“But I’ve seen you change,” she replied, determination in her gaze. “You are not the same man I met who wanted to do nothing but make others suffer. Now you have me and I have you. You don’t have to destroy your own body for my sake.”  

“And what if someone else comes back for revenge?” He asked, trembling in their embrace. “What then?”  

“Then we face them. Together.”  

“But... why do this for me?”  

They stayed silent, watching each other’s movements. Lila’s lips then curled into a smile, tangling his claws with her fingers. “Would you believe me if I told you I still want you to stay with us?”  

Baseet shook his head in disbelief. “You’re a strange woman, you know that?”  

A different smile formed on her lips, one he couldn’t quite place, but felt intimidated by it. “You’re going to have to get used to a lot stranger, sweetie.”  

Before a reply came out, she wrapped her arm around his neck, pulling herself up, and smashing her lips onto his large canines. In shock, his mouth opened, and she took this chance to use her dainty tongue to touch with his. It was one simple touch, nothing more than a second, but it made his face burning hot after she leaned back.  

“Uh, er – I,” his brain failed to form words.  

Lila laughed, a faint blush in her cheeks as she sat comfortably down. “You know, you’re the only man who actually cared for my son when he needed it most, so... I wanted to thank you for that.”  

He shyly looked away to the side. “W-well of course! Might be an annoying little bugger sometimes, but he’s the reason of how we met after all.” The irony of it didn’t fail to pass him, but he didn't want to comment on it now of all times.  

Lila yawned, staring up at him with droopy eyes. "Basset, can you carry me and Skid home? I'd rather be there than in this hospital."  

Basset perked up, all too willing to do so, but hesitated. "But Patty said something about you needing to stay here and stuff."  

"Patty will forgive us," she said, yawning a second time. "Besides, these beds are not comfortable at all." She raised her one arm outstretched to him, it reminded him of the time he caught Skid up late at night and had to carry him to his bed. "Please, sweetie?"  

The yellow man scooped her up in his arms, cradling her like glass. She practically purred, nuzzling into his chest. "This is much better..."  

He grinned, leaning down to whisper into her ear. "If it makes you feel any better, plumie, your arm was the best human meat I have ever eaten in all the years I've lived."  

"You're awful." She deadpanned, making him chuckle. "But you know, if it makes you feel any better... I think the scars make you more attractive."  

"You're wonderful, plumie."  

Chapter Text

The car ride was very silent. Eerily so. Basset wanted to be belligerent just to get a reaction from their yellow haired driver, but the deep scowl on her face indicated she would act out physically if he did. The vehicle passed a speed bump, as the car bounced harshly, he winced in pain, rubbing the slab of meat into his blackened eye.

Lila noticed his discomfort from the front passenger seat, glancing back and forth between him and their driver. “Um, Patty?”

Patty grunted in response.

She smiled nervously, not wanting to agitate her further. “Could you maybe drive a little slower?”

“Oh?” Patty scoffed, lightly tapping on the pedal to go a tad faster. “But I thought you two were in a hurry to get home? What happened to all that?”

Lila sighed. “We already said we were sorry.”

“And you didn’t have to punch my eye over it,” the lemon man grumbled from the back. Skid loudly snickered next to him, earning him a menacing glare from the monster sitting next to him. "And you shouldn't have laughed like a hyena when I got sucker punched."

Skid turned his head to the window, kicking his legs, and whistling an innocent tune.

“On the contrary,” Patty rose her voice slightly, eyeing the backseat with a heated glare. “I don’t think I went far enough with just that black eye.” The monster eyed her back, sticking his tongue out in mockery of her claims. “And you,” she turned to Lila, who shifted nervously in her seat. “I cannot believe you were the one who suggested that! I mean, him, sure, he’s an idiot and insane, but you?!”

“Don’t say it like that…”

“Aren’t you a mom? Isn’t being a mom supposed to make you more mature or something?!”

Lila hung her head in shame, using her hand to twirl a strand of her hair. “I don’t know what came over me, okay? I just wanted to leave with my family.”

Both Skid and Basset beamed at the mention of being her family before realizing what they had done and quickly scooted away from one another. Lila pursed her lips as she watched the two avoid each other; it was clear that while both had conceded to stop mistreating each other that they were still uncomfortable with the idea of being within the same family.

Family…

She never would have though she would include him into thoughts of her family.

“We’re here,” Patty announced, leaving the ignition on as she eyes the people in her car. “The sun’s about to rise and I haven’t gotten any sleep thanks to you all, so get out.”

Skid was the first to hop out of the vehicle, followed by Basset, wincing as he slid his body over to the door. The child was exhausted, not used to staying up almost an entire twenty-four hours had drained him of energy and all he desired was the soft comfort of his bed. The monster followed suit, dumping the frozen piece of meat onto the seat before stepping out. Patty glanced at Lila slowly reaching for the seatbelt buckle, not with great difficulty, but cautiously with her left hand. She wanted to offer aid, but as if sensing her worry, Lila smiled at her, unlatching herself from her seatbelt.

“Alright, well,” she began, moving over to twist her body to the door on her side. “Thanks for everything, Patty. I’ll have to find some way to make it up to you.”

“Just buy me a dozen drinks and I’ll call it even,” she grumbled back, her eyes drifting between sleep and consciousness. Lila opened her mouth to reply, but by then the door opened, a lemon head with a wide set of teeth popping his head inside to check on her. “Are you okay, plumie?”

Touched by his worry, she nodded, swiveling her legs outside. “I’m fine, don’t worry about me.”

Basset clicked his tongue, his eyes soft as his claw took her hand in his, helping her out of the vehicle. Lila’s movements were robotic, surprised by his sudden tenderness before letting out a yelp as she was swept beneath her feet, her left arm once again anchored from his neck.

“Goodnight, Pat~” he called, kicking the door closed, and walking away. The blonde woman scoffed at the sight of them being affectionate, and switched gears to drive away down the road to her house. She was the type of person that couldn’t stand watching that type of misty-eyed romance on her screen and seeing it up close and personal was not any different.

Back at the front door, Skid was having similar thoughts running through his head as his monster friend practically dotted on his mother. Normally he’d make his distaste for their kind of actions obvious, but he was too sleepy to care anymore. “Mom, what about the keys?”

Hey eyes widened, shifting in his arms. “Uh, I think it’s in my back pocket.”

“I got it,” Basset announced, moving her weight to lay on one arm while he used the other to reach around her pants. Lila felt a bead of sweat slide down her brow, trying her best not to think of anything perverse as his claw slid into the pocket to fetch the key. She congratulated herself when she felt him grab the set of keys, feeling as if she climbed a mountain.

That was until she felt a sharp pinch on her butt.

She scowled up above her carrier, face scarlet as he waved the keys knowingly above her. “Are these it, plumie~?”

“Yes, those are it,” she said through gritted teeth.

Tossing the keys to Skid, he readjusted Lila on both arms to compensate for his mischievousness. “Go ahead, boy, them’s the keys.”

Skid grabbed them from the air, muttering multiple incoherent sentences about how gross they were, and then finally turning the key to open the door. The couch was still a scratched-up mess, multiple layers of foam threatening to come out, and probably needed to be thrown out tomorrow morning. The single lemon fruit he had thrown at the boy earlier still lay at the bottom of the stairs, as if waiting for their arrival.

It felt like home to the monster. Except instead of blood and guts greeting him it was general disarray.

Marching over to the closest place to rest his human, he gently placed Lila down onto the couch who unconsciously had begun clinging to him and wouldn’t let go. Awkwardly trying to get her to release him, he coughed, and she reluctantly let him go with a pout, falling back into the cushions. She turned on her side, her eyes dripping with a want that intimidated him.

“Goodnight mom,” Skid spoke up, breaking their trance. “I’m going to brush my teeth and go to sleep.”

Their eyes followed his small form as he trudged upstairs, his eyes downcast on his feet the entire way. Basset sighed, scratching his neck. “Your boy and I have some unfinished business.”

“… You don’t have to talk to him if you feel like you’re not ready,” she assured, sitting up to rest her hand on his arm. “I could talk to him for you if you’d like.”

“Nah,” he muttered, resting his claw over her hand. “I made this mess, don’t want you cleaning up after me.”

She chuckled, laying back down, her hair everywhere as it sprawled against the couch. It was usually brushed to perfection, but even now she still looked beautiful, and he wondered if it was possible for her to look anything but that.

“I’m here if you need me,” she yawned, closing her eyes. “And this time, can you please come back?”

He leaned down to lick her cheek. “I will, plumie.”

Skid yawned, pushing the door to his room open with his face. He considered calling Pump and telling him what happened, but he didn’t want to recite the event of him actually killing a man to his best friend. Not that he was afraid of Pump’s reaction, he knew his best friend would understand that he had to.

It was another detail that bothered him personally.

“Hey there sleepy boy.”

His popped wide open, blinking incredulously at the sight of the lemon monster sitting on his bed. “What the – you were just downstairs!”

“And now I’m here,” he replied, patting the space next to him. “Don’t worry about the details, I just wanted to talk to ya.”

The boy narrowed his eyes, crinkling his nose. “Why?”

“Since when do I need a reason for anything,” he laughed, fingers drumming his along his stomach. “Not looking for a fight with ya kid, but I think we need to be square before we move on.”

Skid’s shoulders slumped, succumbing to his fate, and sitting next to the monster. “So what?”

“Hm… sorry.”

“What?” Skid perked up, wondering if he heard right. “You said that really low.”

“Don’t make me say sorry again, boy,” Basset growled, staring him down. “I know I’ve not been a… friendly guy even before all this. And I know it’s because of me that things have been rocky around here.”

“You could say that again,” the boy responded, still apathetic to the monster’s words. “But why say this to me?”

Basset tilted his head. “What do you mean?”

“I mean… aren’t you just here for my mom?”

They stared at one another in silence, until a sudden burst of laughter emerged from his gullet. “You’re quite the perceptive brat, aren’t you? True, I would wager about every fiber of my being has become fixated on your lovely mother.”

Skid rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I know, it’s annoying.”

“What is with humans and not letting me finish?” The monster draped a claw over his shoulder to bring him closer. “Sure, I may be obsessed with her now, but it didn’t start off like that.”

“… It didn’t?”

“’Course not.” He reassured, poking his chest. “Didn’t you ever wonder why I even agreed to be your friend? It was you who compelled me to visit. I wanted nothing to do with her in the beginning.”

 Taking all this in, he became more confused. “Why did you keep being my friend after you got beat up?”

“That’s not easy to answer,” his gaze travelled to the door, his memory running at max speed. “You saved me, but I had lost. Seeing you and your mother getting all sappy made me feel empty. It was... the end for me. At least, I wanted it to be until you saved me.” Back to the present, his stare went back to Skid, who was staring at his hands. “You’re a dumb kid for still offering me your hand after everything I had done, but you made me reconsider turning you away.”

“I’m not a dumb kid.” Skid grumbled but didn’t shy away from his touch. “But if we were friends and you didn’t like mom, why do you guys do all that icky stuff?”

“Hell, if I know,” he shrugged. “Ask your mom, things just happened, and I fell hard. Maybe it’s a human thing I don’t understand.”

“You know Mr. Lemon, I don’t think I can ever get used to you and my mom.” He paused, seeming apologetic. “Sorry, but it still feels weird even now.”

“That’s fine, I don’t like sharing either if I’m being honest.” With a claw, he pointed to the both of them. “But I did want to make one thing clear between us.” Almost as if in proclamation, he put one claw over his heart, and the other on his. “I promise that no matter what happens, I will protect your mother. Your family. Just as you have tonight.”

“You better keep that promise, Mr. Lemon,” he smiled tiredly, raising his own palm. “But about what happened…” Skid wasn’t sure if he should seek this type of advice from him, but he pressured on. “Has it ever bothered you to kill someone?”

“Pfft, nah.” He waved off with a roll of his eyes. “I loved it, really made it into a passion back in the day. I didn’t like that it caught up to me eventually, but it’s not guilt that I’m feeling. Probably.”

Skid twiddled his index fingers together. “Well, it’s just that… I killed that red lady, right?”

“Nillykine? Not too sure about that one, her body wasn’t found.” A lightbulb went off for the reason of his distress. “What, would it bother you if you murdered her?”

“No, that’s not it,” Skid pursed his lips, tapping his chin. “I felt scared that I did it when it happened, but I think it bothers me that it doesn’t bother me.”

“… Oh.”

“I-Is that a bad thing?” The manner in which he asked was so innocent, he pitied the little semi-killer. “I mean, she was hurting my mom, so maybe that’s why.”

Normally he would say no, but Skid was a child. A human one at that. It was actually abnormal that he didn’t feel some ounce of guilt. He wanted to praise the boy for finding comfort in his inner beast but encouraging that behavior would not ease his worry, nor would it sit right with his mate. Lila would outright punt him with a ruler.

“You were protecting a loved one,” he answered, soothingly draping his claws down his hair. “It’s normal to feel that way when you’re defending someone. I wouldn’t worry too much about it if I were you.”

Skid’s eyes glowed up again, nodding in understanding. “Yeah, you’re right, Mr. Lemon.”

With some of his youthful rigor back, Basset to took it as a sign to take the next step of his plan. Placing both claws under his armpits, he lifted him off the bed, and proceeded to carry him over his shoulder. Skid wanted to put up a little resistance, wiggling about. “Uh, where are we going?”

“To your mother. I think she’d like it if we were to rest together.”

Skid didn’t resist anymore.

“Ahem.”

Lila groaned, opening her eyes to a rather cute sight of her lemon partner holding her son above his shoulder. “Son?”

Skid hopped off, clambering onto the sofa, and nestling his face into the nape of his mother’s neck. “Sleepy…”

She couldn't believe it, he actually did it. Her eyes drooped once again, drifting closer to sleep with her son in her arm. Basset then climbed behind Skid, wrapping both of his long arms around them. There was very little space on the couch, and with his size half of his body was resting on the outside of the edge. She couldn’t imagine it could be comfortable, but he didn’t complain as he rested his chin on her son’s head, purring in delight. She opened her mouth, silently mouthing how his talk with her son went to which he only had a wink as his answer.

She smiled, blowing him a kiss, and then kissing her son’s forehead making him squirm for a second.

As for the monster, he was happy that they were all happily embraced for once.

Hopefully it will stay that way.

Chapter Text

Outside their window, a single star shone brighter than the rest, twinkling in awe. The eldritch being watched the trio doze off to sleep, humming to himself of what transpired. There were many possibilities he had predicted would transpire, many of them being the fleshy purple one to be killed, the Everything child swearing on his life to bring a gruesome end to his life, or his favorite – the fleshy purple one killing the yellow headed imbecile.

He really did not expect them to get all cuddly on the couch like this. The smile on the Everything child was cute, but everything else the other two were doing was abhorrent. It wasn’t the first time he witnessed a relationship blossom between a human and some subtype of beast or demon, but this one sprung up far too close for his liking.

The Eyes of the Universe began to shimmer out the star spying on them, when he caught movement from the boy. Skid opened one eye, slightly turning his head back to take a quick glance at the monster behind him who was snoring the night away. A small smile formed on his lips as he shimmied away from his grasp, the movement causing the lemon man to fall flat on his stomach. Despite this, it did not awake him from his slumber, instead the beast curled up onto the floor, murmuring a single “plumie” before resuming his snoring.

Eyes smiled, closing the star away. At the very least the boy would keep giving that idiot what he deserved. All those scars and burnt patterns on his face weren’t enough. Any form of punishment that was physical never was. True pain comes from within. It’s why it was so much fun playing with his mind for a few decades before inevitably getting bored of him and setting him free to inflict his malicious insanity onto others.

Still, in the outside world he was a rather resilient and crafty creature. Often, he would wonder how one of his meat broths would taste, but he didn’t want to ask the guy he tortured for food. It would be really awkward.

Oh well. It’s a shame he had to get caught up in all this.

A tentacle rose, dangling a woman with crimson hair and a torn-up dress to boot. She was on the brink of death when he dragged her out of the scuffle she caused, and it was the first time he ever made the effort to save a human from their fate.

“RISE.”

The meatbag’s eyes slowly rose, her body sluggish from the blood loss she had endured. “Wha – is this hell?”

“IN A WAY, BUT YOU WON’T BE BURNING IN DAMNATION FOR ETERNITY RED FLESH. AT LEAST, NOT YET.”

Nillykine’s eyes widened, filled with fear as her senses returned to her. “You! You’re -”

“SILENCE.” The woman instantly closed her mouth, a permanent scowl plastered on her features. “YOU ARE ALIVE ONLY BECAUSE I REQUIRE YOUR SERVICES FOR THE TIME BEING.”

“My services?” She smirked, her amber eyes flowing with rage. “Why would something like you need my help, you already have it all.”

“NO…” the giant whispered; his mind trained in on a boy sleeping soundly with his mother. “NO, I HAVE YET TO HAVE EVERYTHING.”

Nillykine scoffed, struggling in his grip. “Then you might as well kill me because I don’t work with demons.”

“AND LET OUR FRIEND - THE LEMON MAN ROAM FREE?”

“Shut up,” she hissed, the mask she wore crumbling to pieces as her fury overcame her. “That bastard would be dead by now if it wasn’t for that purple harlot and her brat! Idiots, all of them!”

“DID YOU KNOW THEY GOT TO CUDDLING WHEN THEY WENT HOME?” The woman grimaced in disgust, prompting him to agree. “I KNOW, GROSS, RIGHT?”

“What’s your point? Did you keep me alive to rub in my failure?”

Eyes laughed, bringing her closer to the forefront of his stars. “FLESHY ONE, I CAN GIVE YOU ANOTHER CHANCE OF ENDING HIM. I’VE WATCHED FROM THE STARS AND YOUR RAGE IS STRONG ENOUGH, BUT YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU FAILED?” Leaning closer, the luminescent bright lights dimmed, his foul breath intoxicating her nostrils, nearly making her hurl from the smell. “IT’S BECAUSE FOR ALL YOUR PREPARATIONS, YOUR PLANNING, YOUR FLESHY MINIONS – YOU STEWED IN YOUR ANGER FOR YEARS WHILE YOUR MONSTER WAS BUSY BEING LOVED BY ANOTHER MEATBAG.”

Stunned silent, she struggled to respond. She wanted to say he was wrong, that the irony of the situation was not at all how he placed it. The monster must have tricked the woman and her child, it was the only explanation, she was not the one at fault here.

But all that came out of her lips was a furious cry – quickly silenced by a squeeze of her abdomen. “ANYWAYS… ALL I WANT IS THE BOY.”

Nillykine gasped, her well-groomed hair a disheveled mess, eyeliner running sloppily down her cheeks. “The brat? That’s all you want?” A giggle surfaced from her throat before turning into choked gasps. “W-What about the others?”

The God of the Stars shrugged a single tentacle. “DO WHAT YOU WANT WITH THEM.” She smiled, imagining all sorts of terror she would inflict upon the couple to make them regret ever getting together. “AND YOU’LL HAVE HELP. COMPETENT HELP.”

“Working with one demon is already humiliating enough, I don’t want to work with another.”

“HE IS NOT A DEMON.” The demon tilted his eyes upwards, past the hole above them and onto an object she could barely make out. It seemed to be a painting – of what she couldn’t be sure. “HE IS…” The demon sighed, releasing a longing sigh. “UNLIKE THE REST OF YOU FLESH, HE IS SOMEONE IMPORTANT. YOU TWO WILL GET ALONG, I AM SURE.”

She almost gagged in front of him. What was it with freaks of nature and suddenly getting touchy feely with humans?

“YOU’RE JUDGY FOR SOMEONE WHO HAD A MONSTER SMITTEN WITH THEM.”

“Wha – don’t read my thoughts you overgrown -”

“FALL.”

Nillykine fell in a heap, fast asleep, and snoring away. Talking to humans was so tiring, he wondered how Basset had the patience to even bother communicating with them. Happy for the silence to return, Eyes raised himself above his pit, staring at the painting of a man he once knew – some would say he knew him too well.

A lone tentacle caressed the caricature, running up the painted arm and down to his hands where the ring laid rested tightly around his finger. The fleshy woman was right about one thing. He had everything long ago, but they were both lost to him. He’ll reunite them together again, and from there –

Everything will be perfect.