Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Nia and Brainy arrived from a long day celebrating Alex and Kelly through the door of their shared apartment. At least, it had been shared three weeks prior. But, as the Coluan would notice, it looked nearly identical from when he saw it last. Nia couldn’t bear to even start making alterations to their apartment in his absence. She had buried herself in work and helping with the wedding celebrations. 

The rest of the team, her friends, had supported her choice of distraction, allowing her to be as involved as she felt she needed to be. Without that much needed understanding and camaraderie it would have been a much harder good part of a month than it had already been. But, as the empty containers of comfort food scattered around surfaces proved, it had not been a pleasant recovery from the love of her life giving his mind, body, and soul away to save an entire planet and leaving her forever. 

Brainy chuckled with an “Oop!” as Nia stumbled through the threshold. They were both still a bit tipsy from the copious amounts of regularly supplied alcohol throughout the day and night. And they had both indulged in accordance to their emotion levels, which were very high right now in a whiplash sort of way. It had been a rollercoaster of intense feelings to each other and for the events around them. 

Querl held Nia steady as she laughed. 

“Oh my God, I’m so tired,” she huffed. 

The journalist and superhero toed off her shoes and all but fell onto the couch. Brainy followed suit, sidling next to her in his dress shirt sans jacket and raked a hand through his hair. 

“It has been a very long day,” he replied with a grin he couldn’t quite keep off his face. 

“The longest day ever ,” she agreed emphatically. Then she leaned over and tilted his head toward her with a guiding hand and put a loving kiss to his temple. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“I am, too,” he replied, still grinning. He swayed minutely as he focused on her face, her eyes, her lips. He clumsily took her head between his hands and opted to kiss the lips his eyes had fixated on.   

“Are you still a little drunk?” she asked incredulously. “I thought you processed alcohol faster or something. And got...sober...quicker?” She laughed. “I am obviously still a little drunk!”

“It’s a good thing we took that Uber, then,” he said. “Using my Legion flight ring probably would not have been wise in this...state.” He seemed amused at first and then a bit somber. 

“I am still...affected by my earlier alcohol consumption,” Brainy continued. “I believe we need to talk about what happened in the future. And though I would have preferred us both to have been less...compromised, perhaps it will soften the blow of the information I’m about to share.”

“Okay…” Nia said and seemed to sober up a little in preparation. 

The Coluan took a breath and nodded as if encouraging himself to continue as Nia’s face creased with more and more worry and confusion the longer he stalled. 

“Uh--I--want to-to emphasize that I am okay--now. I am still...recovering but the prognosis is very very good…” Brainy started.

“Okay...now? From what? What happened? What did you do?” Nia blurted. 

Brainy held up his hands to ease her questions. 

“Give me a moment,” he implored. “I have to figure out how to...word this so as to not...cause additional upset…”

“Screw upset, just tell me!” Nia blurted again. “I-I’m sorry. I’m just. I’ll be fine. I’m freaking out more knowing there’s something and not knowing what that something is and you mentioned ‘recovery’ and you’re not processing alcohol right and I just got you back and--” she stopped herself and took a breath, “Just...tell me what happened? Please?” She snapped her mouth closed in an attempt to assuage any other questions from escaping before he was ready to answer them. 

Brainy let loose a soft chuckle despite himself. He took another breath. 

“Remember when I said ‘sprock the future’?” he asked. At her nod he continued, “I didn’t abandon my duty to Colu completely. But I am unsure whether my ‘fix’ was adequate. The statistics seemed to support an 86.7% success rate but…” he trailed off seeming to be lost for a moment in his own thoughts. 

Nia touched his arm lightly to bring him back. 

“What was your ‘fix’?” she asked. Her voice was calmer than it had been before. Even through the fuzziness of alcoholic consumption she was able to see how difficult any decision of this nature must have been for him. 

Brainy nodded and started unbuttoning his shirt. Nia looked confused at first. This certainly wasn’t the time to be sexy. But as he bared his chest to her she startled at the medical pads (futuristic though they were, obviously medical in nature) on either side of his sternum. 

Green fingers peeled the material off to reveal scarification under each spongey protectant. Nia blinked rapidly, her mind racing to fill in gaps in her knowledge. The scars marked where the two alternate timeline Brainy’s storage capsules were located on his chest. 

“You...removed them. The other versions yourself?” she asked. Brainy nodded.

“It was not easy. Though others from the Legion were present to assist, I was the one with the most knowledge on how to best perform the procedure. As such, I stayed aware while leading the surgery. While it was relatively easy for the other versions of myself to insert their core AIs into my person, removing them without destroying my own body and core after they integrated was...difficult to say the least,” Brainy said.

He continued, “I did have assistance and guidance from my other selves. Both were more than willing to make the sacrifice to the Big Brain in hopes of their presence being enough to override what had been done to it. To save Colu. The only reason why the option had not come up sooner is that the procedure was very very risky. The chance of me surviving did increase slightly with the other Legionnaires presence. But, the point is, I did survive the surgery, Nia. And though my body is still weak, thus not able to process alcohol as effectively as it usually can, though perhaps not entirely a bad thing at this moment,” he added with a little grin, “I am here. And I am so relieved and ecstatic to be able to sit in front of you and-and hold your hands. This is the happiest I have been in a very long time, Nia Nal.”

Nia took a while to process that information. It was a lot to process. She looked down at where Briany cradled her hands in his. When she looked up tears were glistening on the bottom edges of her eyes. 

“You...operated on yourself and almost died...for me?” she finally asked, dumbfounded. 

“Technically,” Querl explained, a little too enthusiastically, “if I had died it would have been no different than having sacrificed myself to the Big Brain. And if I had perished Mon-El would have taken my core AI with the others to the Big Brain. So...same net result! Really! If you think about it! I jus--I just…” he sputtered a little and tried to recover himself emotionally, “It wasn’t just for you, Nia. I couldn’t be without you. I couldn’t…” he huffed and shook his head, “I need to be with you. So, if that means I perform spontaneous bilateral complex surgery on myself and pass out to leave Mon-El to do a, quite honestly, terrible mending job, then so be it!”

Nia couldn’t help herself and laughed at his dark, sarcastic humor. 

“Those scars are pretty...gnarly,” Nia admitted looking at the angry, raised, knotted lines. 

“They should heal less noticeably,” Brainy muttered a little self-consciously. 

“I dunno,” Nia said with a scoff, “I kinda like scars.” She smiled. 

“I mean...they won’t heal... completely ,” Brainy amended. 

Nia laughed and took a finger very gently to the top of one of the less angry bits of tissue on his chest before the Coluan could stop her. They were both sobering up quickly at this point but reaction time was still not quite where it should be. 

Brainy gasped in what looked like pain. Nia jerked her hand away, eyes wide. 

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” she cried, watching her boyfriend curl inward and put a hand to his head with a grunt. 

“It’s okay,” he gasped as he recovered. “The preventative pain measures must have been inhibited by my alcohol consumption. It’s okay. I’m fine.”

Brainy forced himself to straighten again, still flushed, but stoic. 

“Hey, no. It’s okay Nia,” Brainy implored as the dam finally released and she started crying. “Nia, I will be fine. I’m fine. Please…”

“I just,” Nia sobbed, “have so many emotions right now.” She sniffed. “You left and--and now you’re back but you almost died and I didn’t even know but you’re hurt and...and I was getting ready to be without you but...it’s a lot, okay?” She was rubbing furiously at her eyes and the tears falling down her cheeks. 

“It is,” he agreed. “Here. Give me your hand?” he asked as he positioned himself more directly beside her, his shoulder grazing hers. 

Nia offered her right hand and Brainy took it with his left hand, intertwining their fingers. She smiled through her tears at the gesture and leaned her head into his shoulder trying to control her breathing, snuggling into the crevice next to his neck that she thought she’d never feel again.

“I missed you,” she finally said softly with another sniff. 

“I missed you, too,” he replied in a near whisper leaning his head into hers.

Chapter Text

Soon after Querl and Nia calmed themselves in the living room Nia helped to replace the medical pads on Querl’s scars (carefully) and led them into her bedroom before they both fell asleep on the sofa . 

No. Wait. It was their bedroom again. As it should always be, Nia thought to herself. 

As they entered the threshold, however, Nia ran from Brainy’s side and started manically tossing empty food containers into the trash can or beside the trash can or in the corner, anything to get them off of the bed. She also took the sheets and blankets from the bed and started shaking crumbs out. Dreamer hadn’t exactly planned to have anyone over for a long long time after Brainy had left.

“What’s...this?” Brainy asked carefully, looking around. 

“I ate my feelings,” Nia explained brusquely as she continued to stash trash in a singular location so she could take it out in one trip after she was done. 

Brainy paused for a beat as he looked around at the impressive collection of take out boxes, ice cream containers, and general trash, then asked, “How many feelings?”

Nia shot him a look and, deadpanned, answered, “All of them.”

“Ah,” he replied, giving an understanding nod. He had the decency to look sheepish about the questioning, at least, as he leaned against the door jam casually inspecting the woman’s manic work. 

“Don’t judge,” Nia muttered, carrying a stack over to the trash can and shoving them in with effort.”

“I’m not!” he insisted. “May I help?”

“Nope! You are going to sit on the edge of the bed and not get hurt,” Nia said. 

“Nia,” Brainy implored with a smile, “I’m not incapable of--”

“Sit down!” Nia demanded.

Brainy sat down obediently.

“May I disrobe?” the Coluan asked after a moment in case Nia thought even that simple act was disallowed for fear of harming himself in some way. He understood her current over-protectiveness. He just hoped it wouldn’t last for too long. 

“Yes,” Nia replied distractedly. “I’ll be back!”

The woman admirably carried the trashcan plus several other trashcan’s worth of feeling-eating remnants with her to the kitchen allowing Querl to strip down to his underwear and idly wander over to the drawers that used to be his. He was both surprised and unsurprised to find that all of his belongings were where they had been before he left--three weeks ago. He unsuccessfully stifled a yawn as he pulled a heather grey shirt from its folded form onto his body. 

When Nia returned from the kitchen, a little winded, she found the green-skinned man with one of his old shirts haphazardly thrown on lying on his side of the bed with one leg out of the blanket and the other side of his body tucked in. His head was on the pillow, blonde hair splayed behind, and his face was resting in what seemed to be deep sleep. 

Nia smiled. She couldn’t help herself. She crossed to his side of the bed and carefully shifted the sheet from underneath his leg to cover his body the rest of the way. He shifted slightly but didn’t open his eyes. She casually brushed off stubborn crumbs from her emotional binging from the bedding. Then she got ready for bed herself.

When she had washed her face and dressed she crawled into bed and tucked her body into Querl’s side. His body usually shifted at her weight, but sleep must have come very suddenly and deeply as he didn’t move a muscle as the bed dipped next to him. 

The Naltorian turned off the light and even though she was exhausted from the events of the day she spent nearly three whole minutes staring at her boyfriend in awe and happiness until she finally drifted off-- 

--to be abruptly woken by shuffling and the feeling of movement beside her. Later she would discover she had slept for nearly a full 8 hours before this occurrence. It was the deepest and longest amount of sleep she had experienced after Brainy’s absence.  

She rubbed her eyes at an ache behind them and knew she would absolutely need to hydrate. But the grunting and vocalizations beside her forced her to become more alert. She sat up and looked to the side of the bed her boyfriend was currently occupying. The thought made her giddy until she saw his face and heard his panting. 

Fully awake now, Nia flicked on the light and took in the pinched look on Querl’s face and his fingers dancing above his chest. His head twitched and he let out a string of unintelligible words. It might not have even been English. It wasn’t his first language, after all. 

“Hey,” Nia coaxed as she put her hand on his shoulder seeking to ease him out of the nightmare in which he was trapped. “Hey, wildcat, time to wake up. C’mon.”

She shook him a little. Nothing.

“Querl. Querl?” she said louder. He usually wasn’t that hard to wake up. Then again, these weren’t usual circumstances. When were they usual circumstances, she thought morosely. They seemed to live in unstable abnormality most of the time as heroes. Still, this was out of character for the Coluan. 

“What’s going on in there, wildcat?” she asked him not expecting an answer. Cautiously she put a hand to his head and took a very small peek of what she was sure was a vulnerable memory. 

She was not prepared for what she saw and felt. As if she’d been physically shocked she jolted away from him, panting in emotion. The visage was already fading, but it had been very visceral. Blood, pain, fear, and guilt slowly faded from her immediate emotional memory. 

“Brainy?” she asked, startled at him suddenly sitting up, ramrod straight, eyes wide open but unseeing (at least of the world actually in front of him.)

His mouth opened in what started in a whimper but morphed into a low and then loud scream. 

“Oh my God! Brainy?!” Nia gasped. She cut the distance between them quickly and grabbed his shoulders. 

“Brainy! BRAINY!” Nia yelled. 

Dreamer, of all people, had no idea how to wake her boyfriend up from what she could only define as a night terror. 

“It’s okay,” she tried to hush, running her hand through his hair. But though changing in volume and strength, the vocalizations and screaming continued, all the while his eyes searched whatever he saw in his mind. 

Sweat started to bead on his head as seconds turned to a minute. This couldn’t last. Nia took his head between her hands and tried to catch his gaze in an act of futility. 

“Querl, you have to wake up, now. Sweetie, you need to wake up! Wake up!” she yelled in frustration. But then she felt a jolt of power come through her arms and hands. It was similar to the dream energy she was familiar with, but sharper. 

As he was hit with Nia’s energy burst he gasped awake and collapsed back down onto the pillow trying to catch his breath. His dark eyes searched and found Nia easily in the bright room. He knitted his brows in confusion at her distraught face. 

“Nia?” he asked, and swallowed wondering why his throat was sore. 

“Are you okay?” Nia asked desperately. “I think I did something! Did I hurt you? I was just trying to wake you up!”

“I don’t feel hurt,” Brainy said, contemplatively, still trying to catch his breath. “Why are you holding my face?”

Nia dropped her hands quickly and rubbed them together self consciously. 

“I couldn’t wake you up,” she explained. “I just wanted you to wake up so badly. Then I felt this energy go up my arms and it hit you and you woke up! Are you sure you’re okay? Really really sure? I’ve never felt anything like that before. I didn’t hurt you, right?”

Brainy propped himself on his elbows. His mind was already recovering the memory of his dream in the background. He wasn’t sure he wanted to look at it now after the revelations Nia was giving him. 

“No, Nia. No, I’m fine. It’s one of your abilities. To be able to wake someone. That’s...actually fantastic that you were able to channel it! I’m very impressed!” he said, missing completely the gravity of the situation that was written in Nia face. 

“That scared the shit out of me, Brainy. I wasn’t able to wake you. I thought...I didn’t know what I did. Damn it,” Nia exclaimed, sitting back on her knees and calming herself with her breath. 

“It’s okay,” he reassured her. “Give me a moment. I’m going to review my dream.” 

“Be careful,” Nia warned. 

“Understood,” he said softly. 

Nia slid back down beside him as he closed his eyes in concentration. Dreamer knew of Coluans’ ability to retrieve their dreams, but this had seemed like a nightmare beyond what he had battled before. 

When his eyes opened again his skin was flushed with emotion, dark green tinged on his cheeks and down his neck. 

“You okay?” Nia asked. 

Querl plopped back down to the pillow from his elbows and let out a shaky breath. He nodded instead of replying verbally but Nia could see tears gathering in his eyes. 

“I’m, uh…” he paused and sniffed but nodded as if urging himself on, “I blocked the neurological links to these visions and psychic experience from interfering with my sleep again. I shouldn’t have this particular...nightmare again.” 

He wiped a tear away and huffed. 

“Sorry,” he whispered. 

“You don’t have to apologize,” Nia reassured him, pulling him close. He took the guidance gratefully. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Brainy breathed out again, Nia feeling his breath on her neck as he tucked into her body. After a moment of swallowing and gathering his emotions he replied. 

“Suffice to say,” he said, his voice rough, “that the injury to me from the surgery was not simply physical.”

“You don’t say,” Nia couldn’t help but snark. 

He scoffed, “Surprising, I know. No. It was also psychic. My other selves’ integration into my physical, technical, and mental systems has created a sort of...psychic loss when they were removed. It is painful to a point. Like the dull ache one might feel if they’ve lost a limb and are experiencing phantom pain in an extremity that no longer exists. Except in this case it is not only in my body but my mind and psyche as well.”

“Are you going to be okay?” Nia asked, slowly stroking his arm. 

“I think so?” he admitted, a rarely vulnerable answer to a question. He took another deep breath and let it out shakily. “I’ve never experienced anything like this before. I’m not sure what to expect.” 

Nia felt a fine tremor in Brainy’s body at the realization. She held him tightly. 

“Well, whatever it is, we'll figure it out together. Okay?” she said looking down at his face. 

Querl’s face looked up at her worriedly but he whispered, “Okay” shakily. “Okay. Okay.” 

He nodded against her and held her a bit tighter. 

They laid like that for a while. A couple of minutes in fact. Or, as Brainy might have said, “2 minutes and 42 seconds.” 

Nia’s mindless petting of Brainy’s head, as he stayed nuzzled near her throat with a cheek resting on her shoulder, turned to taking the tips of her fingers and running them through his hair deeper. Short nails though she had, she was still able to scratch a little at his scalp. Brainy’s body relaxed even deeper, the Coluan humming contently at the sensation. 

Nia grinned, “Does that feel good?”

“Yes. Please don’t stop,” he replied lazily. 

After a few more moments, 20.3 seconds to Querl’s calculations, Nia shifted. Her hand stilled from her ministrations. Brainy whined grumpily but Nia only chuckled. She was delighted to find this new form of touch that apparently brought her boyfriend comfort. His brown eyes turned up to her questioningly with a slight frown on his face. 

“At some point we do need to get up,” Nia pointed out. 

“Why?” Briany challenged knowing full well the logical answers. He made a grab for her hand to place it back on his head but she easily avoided him with a guffaw. 

“One, because I need to pee. Two, because we need to eat. And three, because,” Nia paused, “we need to talk about what’s going on with your body and mind and...make a plan to help you through this. Okay?”

Brainy groaned and flipped on his back as he rubbed his hands over his eyes before turning them on her. 

“I hate when you’re the logical one, Nia,” he groused. 

“No you don’t !” she teased, “You love it!” She waited a beat before placing a kiss to his forehead, his nose, and his mouth. “Grumpy wildcat” she mumbled, trying to keep the mood light. 

“You try yanking integrated hardware containing vital software out of your own body while high on pain blockers from the future and not be grumpy!” he muttered lowly but sat up in bed, blinking his eyes at his slower than normal waking up. 

Nia chuckled a little at the explosion of dark humor, but perhaps a little more sedately than usual.

“I’m taking a shower!” Brainy announced and hopped up, only having to catch the corner of the dresser once to steady himself from the sudden change in position.

“Okay, then!” Nia exclaimed. 

“And,” Brainy said, pausing dramatically and turning to her with a procured towel in his hand at the door to their bathroom, “it will be a very long shower.” 

“Okay…” Nia replied, squinting. 

“In which I will waste the entirety of the hot water tank’s collection of hot water!” Brainy exclaimed. 

“Live your best life, dear,” Nia replied sweetly. 

“Oh, I shall! Because I deserve it!” he replied. And with a flourishing turn he shut the door of the bathroom behind him. 

“I...guess I’ll just take a shower tonight,” Nia muttered to herself wondering if Brainy had tapped into some self help information he was regurgitating in an attempt to implement self care at Nia’s suggestion that they work on what was going on with Brainy’s mind and body. 

Nia shook her head and turned toward the kitchen preparing to make breakfast for them both, bemoaning the fact that it meant she had to wash a second dish. But then she spun back around. 

“I still have to pee!” she squealed, remembering. “Brainy!!!”