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Chapter Text

The wind in Monstadt is as gentle as ever, caressing the trees and citizens, bringing a surge of warmth and peace to the land. This piece of land had gone through a lot bloodshed, but it is those things that lays the foundation of the current prosperous nation.

With four seasons and multiple festivals, all Monstadtians and foreigners are able to show love and appreciation to their loved ones. One of Monstadt’s greatest festival is Windblume, and the time around it is a very happening season for all.

Especially in Monstadt University.

Xiao had experienced two Windblume and his third time is coming soon.

He’s not fond of social contact and once a devil exposed his gym pictures online, his popularity bloomed.

Thank goodness Monstadt’s medical technologies were advance enough to save Hu Tao’s life.

If not, her grandfather would need to find a replacement for his successor.

After the exposure Xiao had received tons of letters and gifts.

On his second Windblume, Hu Tao actually planned a booth setup for him under the tree to collect all ‘appreciation’ from the university guys and girls.

Thank Celestia that Professor Albedo stopped her before she did it.

And of course, Hu Tao is not happy about it, so she personally highlighted Xiao’s mailbox, which is full by the time the first day of the festival ended.

As a gentleman, Xiao had tried to read a few letters and some of it actually send chills down his spine. So, the rest were untouched.

With extreme care, he had secretly thrown those letters away. Although he feels bad and Xiao’s ‘penpalship’ urges him to reply, reciprocating these letters would simply means digging his own grave and the last thing Xiao want is to have Hu Tao planning his burial.

She would probably go for public cremation. Near the Cider Lake.

However, other than romantic letters, there are some Windblume gifts that Xiao appreciated. Like from Zhongli and Hu Tao.

Zhongli’s letter was telling how proud the man is seeing how much Xiao had grown throughout the years and Xiao almost, shed a drop of tears.

Xiao appreciated it, and out of respect, he did not question why Zhongli gifted him a rock.

As for Hu Tao, that devil actually folded a piece of leaflet from her grandfather’s parlour and puts in the envelope, with a ‘Happy Windblume’ written in red ink.

That little shit.

Xiao would have drowned her in Cider Lake if she didn’t get him a portion of Almond tofu from a famous restaurant in Liyue as gift.

And that was last year.

This year, it’s going to be intense.

Because Xiao, had only studied in Monstadt University for a year and a half when Zhongli has proposed to have him to become his TA in History.

On the first day Xiao followed Zhongli into his first class as TA, with the grey dress shirt that Childe bought him as a congratulation gift (when Zhongli saw him wearing that his heart soared. Don’t ask Xiao why, he doesn’t want to know) the girls in the class squealed.

Ever since then, Xiao has been getting more and more letters on normal days. 

It gets even worse when Zhongli found that Xiao has a wide knowledge about the Favonius. Because he would ask the students to look for Xiao regarding any question related to the said topic, and Xiao would get bombarded by questions when the classes end.

The TA would then look at Zhongli with a ‘help me’ look, and the latter will wave at him with a proud smile and walk out of the class to look for Childe.

Childe, you piece of shit.

With him being a TA, that also means he would be having his own seat in the office. Where he will spend most of his free time away from people to have a moment of peace.

It usually doesn’t last long before someone come and disturb him,

like now.

“Xiao! Look what I got for you!” Hu Tao skipped her way to his spot– which is a simple banquet table and chair – and placed a wooden basket beside him.

“Hu Tao, it’s too early for me to deal with you.” Xiao sighed.

“Nonsense. It’s your break time and you’re busy doing nothing.” Hu Tao scoffed.

“Exactly. I’m busy. Leave me alone.”

“No way. Look what I found. We’re cleaning and rearranging the MUSA room and there’s a ton of stuff they wanted to throw away. There’s this nice basket that you could-”

“If you think I could use this as a letterbox then forget about it.” Xiao crossed his arms and kicked the said basket down.

“Rude!” She slapped his arm. “Your letter box is way too small for a hotshot like you and I’m simply looking out for you, you single Lilliputian! Do you know how many girls salivated when they see you in the dress shirt on the first day as a TA?”

“I don’t care. Now get this stupid basket and your brain out of my space. And stop bringing anything from MUSA to me.” Xiao shifts his focus to his laptop.

“Nope, I don’t think it’ll do Lilliputian.” Another annoying voice charms in. That stupid gingerhead is bringing an old floor lamp to him.

Xiao is going to be another tyrant in Monstadt again and he’ll start by killing these two idiots.

“Your TA seating is lacking lots of necessary furniture and Zhongli says it’ll be a waste to have all these antiques thrown away. So, we’re bringing it all to you.” Childe arranged the ugly floor lamp beside his banquet table and plugged into the electricity socket, turning it on and it casts an ugly orange light onto his laptop.

Xiao took a deep breath. “His fancy penthouse is big enough to keep all these.” Xiao turns the ugly light off.

“Nuh-uh. That’s what I’m trying to avoid. You have no idea how much the maid charges to clean all his knickknacks. Not that I mind the money but they do complain a lot and Zhongli is not happy when they arranged it wrongly.” Child turns the light back on and before Xiao can say anything Zhongli appeared.

“Xiao, I do apologize for the sudden intrusion but I think it would be a good idea to have all these furniture given to you since you don’t have a proper one.” Zhongli frowned apologetically and Xiao can’t say no to him.

He had already lost the fight before it started.

With majority of the documents digitalized, there are lesser need for MUSA to send letters out to the student. Windblume letters were mostly sent personally and MUSA no longer see the need to provide any letter sending services.

Which is why they are cleaning up and all these furniture moved into Xiao’s sacred spot.

As for why they are considered antiques, it’s because these items were found by MU when they move from Starfell. They were only usable leftovers during the Civil war and MU would gladly keep these pieces of furniture safe for their historical value.

There’s a basket, which Xiao’s not sure what it was intended for originally. It’s like a normal dustbin. Maybe it’s a dustbin.

Not gonna lie, it’s a great furniture for collecting his ‘love letter’ and whatever Hu Tao cooks for him.

Then there’s the stupid floor lamp that Childe brought him. It’s amazing how the lamp is still functionable after all the years.

There are a few big ass bookshelves that made with Cuihua wood and also a sofa. Definitely couldn’t fit into Xiao’s seating, so they have it sit at the teacher’s lounge area.

And the final piece is a simple wooden desk.

It is in good shape, properly cleaned, a few scuffs here and there, but it sits wonderfully at Xiao’s spot. It’s not too tall or short, just the right size for Xiao to do his work comfortably, spacious enough to put intended documents and multiple drawers that functions properly.

Well, except for one. It’s locked since the day they found the desk and it has been left locked since then.

With all the furniture settled in, and their mission accomplished, Zhongli, Childe and Hu Tao left Xiao with his new antique friends alone.

It was a busy week for Xiao as students rushed to finish their midyear exam just so they can start preparing for Windblume.

Xiao is currently checking over the assignments that was submitted recently and going through the emails. Not only does he need to reply the questions from student, but he will also need to compile the details regarding the next batch of students.

The MU is opening for midyear enrolment and Xiao needs to compile those who have picked History as their Major.

After printing out the details of the student and the compiled list, Xiao realized the stack of paper is thicker than what he expected.

Monstadt is a fruitful land that was exchanged with brutal historical moments. Although it has been a hundred years, there’s still a lot to discover and it’s not a surprise that there are students wanted to go with History as a major.

With that big stack of confidential paper, Xiao would need it to be in one of the drawers.

He pulled out each drawer and found out most of it was occupied. None of it should be up on the desk openly and the rest of the drawer space are too small.

And there’s this one drawer that was locked.

Xiao glared at the keyhole and puts his paper aside.

He will need to make a short visit to the local locksmith.

After a quick lockpick lesson from the locksmith, he is back to his desk. Since it’s night time, he can take his time slowly to do this.

He turns on the stupid floor lamp and sat on the ground, facing the keyhole and sprayed some lubricant at it.

The locksmith is kind enough to remind him to do that since Archons-knows-when the drawer has been used last.

He placed the tension wrench into the bottom of the keyhole and turned it gently. Another hand holds the pick and starts to push the individual pin, feeling them as he sets each pin like how the locksmith had demonstrated to him moments ago.

After a few minutes, it gives out a gentle click and it’s unlocked. Xiao officially certified himself as a lockpick master.

Now he can finally use all drawers.

With a victorious smile, he pulls the drawer out.

What greeted him is not an empty space but envelopes that is too familiar for him.

His own envelope. For Venti.

There’s a big pile of it and Xiao can clearly see his own writings.

Didn’t they say that this was salvaged from the Favonius Era? Why are his letters in the drawer-

Xiao held his breath.

No way, could it be?

He peeked one of the letters and saw a pressed Cecilia.

Xiao remembers Venti told him his body height, they’re almost the same size.

Ah, so this is why the desk fitted him so perfectly.

It was his desk.

Xiao stared at the letters. To think the Favonius captain is the one to place these letters here and lock it to keep them safe, Venti is really sentimental.

Xiao huffed a smile and gently took out one of the letters and opens it. He met his own font.

“Barbatos,

You wouldn’t believe me what Hu Tao had just done…”

He remembers this letter. Hu Tao was trying to crack his mailbox code and clear his mailbox because it’s full.

That day Xiao almost gotten a warning letter for choking another fellow student in MU.

So, all these while MU had desk with magical drawer? A magical drawer that only Venti has the key to it?

Xiao took all of the letters out and realized that he really had a long talk with Venti all these times. It has been a year since he received the last letter and Xiao couldn’t help but wonders, if their letters were to continue, would Venti keep all of it? Even if there’s no more space in the drawer?

While Xiao is sorting out the letters, something in the drawer caught his eyes.

There’s this notebook with yellowish cover.

Slowly, he flipped it open and a few pieces of pictures fell onto the ground. Xiao carefully gathers it, not wanting to lose a single one and gently he flips through each piece.

The pictures are definitely old.

Are these the pictures of the Favonius?

All of it were black and white and cracks everywhere. Some of it started to fell apart and Xiao had to gently lay it down on the desk before it gets worse.

He sees a picture of a man sleeping on a chair, his blade leaning beside the fireplace and Xiao could see at the right corner is the desk he currently using.

From the angle of the picture Xiao couldn’t see who is the man but seeing the long legs, definitely not Venti.

Then there’s a back image of two person talking beside a crumbled fountain.

Beside the fountain Xiao saw the same stupid basket Hu Tao brings in today. It’s holding the firewood.

One of person in the picture wears a tall hat and the other simply had their hair tied into a bun.

They seem too engaged in a friendly conversation and didn’t notice someone sneaked a picture of them.

The most perfectly kept picture is taken where the whole Favonius gang were gathering around the meeting table with the ugly floor lamp beside it and a map laid out top of the table. All five of them were frowning at the camera as if someone decided to take picture in the midst of an important planning or discussion.

Xiao smiled fondly. No doubt the idiot behind the camera is Venti.

Coming to the last piece and most worn pictures of all is the one with the identical twin smiling at the camera.

One of them are smiling fondly at his sibling, who smile so brightly that takes Xiao’s breath away.

Through the cracks and poorly lighting, Xiao can see the outline of his jaws and those two perfectly braided hairs. His eyes were closed but Xiao knows, this is the person whom he is writing to all these whiles.

Venti, his first and last pen pal, one and only lover.

Xiao couldn’t help but feeling relieved.

So, this is how the Venti looks like.

It has been a year ago since he received the last letter.

Even though time has passed, he still remembers the laugh he made a year ago, the smile he had when he read the letters and the excitement he has when he writes.

He missed those moments.

He looks at the pile of letter on the desk and wondered what would it takes for him to feel those moments again.

Oh Venti, would you write to him again? 

Would Venti tell him some lame jokes again in attempt to make him smile? Or how Diluc awkwardly comfort one of the crying kids in the safehouse? Or how Lisa nags you for mistreating a book?

If Venti is there to read Xiao’s letters, he would.

He would walk all around Monstadt to find another Katheryne just so he can tell Venti how he met them because he knows he would laugh his ass off.

He would join Hu Tao and Yan Fei for lunch so he can tell you how ridiculous in love those two is and most probably Venti would feel jealous.

He would love to tell him how Zhongli made him a TA and all the antics happened during Windblume.

Looking at the letters, he decided to read through it one by one.

On that night, Xiao takes his sweet solitary time to reminiscent about the past with a lamp, a basket, a desk, a notebook and a few pictures. 

No matter when, I always looking forward to your letters
The eras we live in are different but
They’ll pass through time and forever,
I wish I can see you, even just for a glance
Because I really like you

Chapter Text

How long have he sat here?

How long have he leaned on this tree trunk, that still stood in this last piece of green lush in Monstadt, that is still sustaining life to the critters that made home beneath its root?

How long was it since the attack begun?

It has been a while since he last saw Carmen.

He could still hear his voice.

“Venti, stop slacking around you loafer.”

“Seriously? A picture during a meeting?”

“Oh mighty archons, stop giggling out of nowhere!”

Where’s Lisa? He lost a book somewhere and wonder if she kept it without him knowing.

Is Amber home yet? Her wing glider is due for another maintenance.

Oh right.

They’re not here anymore.

Venti stared as the sun slowly make its way down the horizon.

So, another day passed.

Another day wasted.

Another day he made Jean and Diluc worried.

Another day he failed to reply the letters.

Another day the Favonius wonders where is their captain.

Another day Decarabian ruled Monstadt and Venti could imagine him laughing over their loss in the safehouse.

He is so exhausted. He had not been sleeping for days.

Because every time he closed his eyes he saw the bodies, how the blood splattered on the walls, children’s body mangled, faces so deformed that he can only recognize them by their clothes, Lisa’s body, and Carmen-

He sobbed.

He is beyond exhausted. His eyes are so dry that no matter how broken his heart is there’s no more tears left for him to shed.

Why is he a captain? Why do they pick him as one?

He is just a bard. A bard who dreamt of seeing the world, filling his day with songs and music and spends his night in taverns smelling the sweet taste of dandelion wine.

Not blood.

Why all he could smell is blood now?

No amount of wind in Monstadt could clear his lungs.

That stench of blood would always remain.

Not even after a hundred year–

What day is today again? Has another week passed?

Would there be another letter again?

Venti shifted his gaze slowly to the small building beyond the thick forest. The building of Favonius is hiding perfectly among the tall trees.

They still refuse to lit a single candle to avoid attention and he wonder if he could sneak past Diluc and Jean.

Well, if he wanted to, he could.

His room window is always opened. Diluc and Jean would shut it most of the time but this time they leave it open.

They must have known he would want to come and go as he pleases without anyone knowing. And they respected him to give him plenty of space and time to grieve.

By plenty means about three weeks.

For three weeks the Favonius had not seen their Captain.

Three weeks Venti did not had a proper sleep.

Three weeks Jean has been running around the infirmary.

Three weeks since Diluc single-handedly buried all their comrades.

He really doesn’t deserve to be called as their captain.

Because he is sneaking pass the window and back into his own room quietly. How many captains are there in Teyvat that runs from his own people? To run from their responsibility?

The moonlight shines through the window and Venti could see an envelope sits quietly on his desk.

Oh Xiao. As punctual as ever.

Gently holding the envelope, he tore open the flap and took the letter out. The letter is slightly thicker.

And he scanned through the content.

“Barbatos,

The wind here in Monstadt shifted slightly. It did not come and go as often as it used to be. It feels colder and harsher when it does.

I was passing by the flower shop that day and I found they are selling Cecilia Flower seed. I’ve decided to get some and try to plant it. It has been a month and I have yet to see a seedling. Didn’t you say that Cecilia grows best where the harsh wind blew? I hope the current weather helps…”

Venti smiled. So even the wind in that era felt somethings is off huh?

He scanned the rest of the content.

“Barbatos, I’m not good with words, I know you knew it too. But I wanted to tell you how much I’ve appreciated the letters and words that was exchanged in between us.

In this letter, I want to admit a few things…”

Xiao, what are you doing?

“Firstly, I’ve always enjoyed your lame jokes. It’s really lame, but nevertheless, I smiled while reading it. I didn’t know how much I’ve missed all these until your letter stopped coming in. Do not worry, I know you will write me again once you are well enough. You made a promise, didn’t you? I trust you will fulfil it.”

Will he? Maybe.

“Secondly, I admired you Barbatos. You told me you did not willingly take up the role as a Captain but all I heard from the witness that survived war, they were praising you. About how willing you are in stepping out of your comfort zone, not because you were forced but because you see the need to do it in order to protect your people. Barbatos, if you would have seen how I run from Hu Tao’s questioning gaze, you would know I’m a coward-”

Venti shuts his eyes.

How the hell does he deserve any praises?

For fucks sake, he disappeared for three weeks without telling anyone. He sulked at the corner and cried like a fucking puppy that is on leash. He ditched all the heart-breaking works to Diluc and Jean while he stares at the fucking sky while the sun is going up and down.

What do they see in him?

Xiao, what in the hell do you admire about him?

What is Hu Tao’s questioning gaze compared to hundred of injured men that tries to search for the shadow of their leader, who is supposed to lead them into war and bring victory?

That leader dinged out. He hides under a tree and laps his own tears until it dries out.

Venti is a coward. He’s nothing without Carmen.

And he is still crying.

Venti tries to hold his sob but he couldn’t control the fresh batch of tears that flowed down.

Even if he tries to hold his sob, it’s enough to let Diluc and Jean knows he’s back in his room.

Because the next thing Venti felt are warm hands caressing his hair and wiping the tears away from his cheek.

Venti could recognize those hands anywhere. Those hands are the one who did the gut-wrenching works with him and holds him calm when things are not.

“I’m sorry.” Venti whispered.

“Hush.” Diluc pulled his head down to lean on him and Venti lets his tears flow freely, damping his clothes. On usual days Diluc would never let him do that.

Jean said nothing and rubbed his back. Venti doesn’t need to look at her to know she will always smile fondly at him. She is always a big sister to him.

It’s alright. We’re here.

On that night, among the sobs, among the whispers of words and wind, he heard it.

"If someone plucks out your tongue, you can still sing with your eyes."

Those soft murmurs and hums.

"If someone blinds you in both eyes, you can still see with your ears."

Those light tap of rhythm, on soft and hard surface.

"If someone conspires to destroy tomorrow, then raise them a glass,"

Those gentle clink of glass, a promise to the living and the dead.

"For even if tomorrow dies, this song shall live on."

He’s not the only one that losses someone dear.

He’s not the only one that got scarred both physical and mentally.

He’s not the only grieving.

And he will not be the only one that wanted to give up.

Wouldn’t that make them die in vain?

He would not allow that to happen.

He will sing along with his people.

“If someone plucks out your tongue, you can still sing with your eyes.”

Ever so gently, he whispered, and the whole building quiet down.

Diluc never stops his caressing, but Venti knows he smiled.

“If someone blinds you in both eyes, you can still see with your ears.”

Those deep baritones echoed.

Venti chuckled because this could be the last time, he heard Diluc sings. Which is rarely by any chance.

“But if anyone dares to steal your song, the freedom you yearn for,”

A gentle yet firm voice sang, and Venti could hear the laughing huffs from the corridor and infirmary.

He too, laughed and sucked a breath. Because he knows the next line is the core of the whole song.

And everyone in the building chants:

“— That alone, that alone shall never do!”

--xx--

Another week has passed and things are getting livelier in the building.

They definitely lack the needed vision since they lost Amber, but it doesn’t stop them from planning their next step.

Venti may not be a healer and he doesn’t know a thing about medic, but he did what he could – lifting up people’s spirit.

While people recover in both mental and physical, Jean and Diluc goes through the last detail.

With the amount of manpower they have, they can’t evade the fact that they must give everything they had. If anyone of them hesitated, they would fail.

Not only will they fail as Favonius, they will fail those in the hideouts, who have placed all their hopes and dreams on their shoulder.

And Venti knows what is coming.

He has been playing his lyre around to distract himself from the fact. Not because he is worried about his own life, but he has occupied someone’s heart in another era.

He doesn’t know how to break the news to Xiao.

He must have been worried death.

Venti is a bit ashamed to tell him how he feels.

If Carmen is here, he would whack his head for the sudden withdrawn of confidence.

With a sigh, he reads through the letters again. It wouldn’t be right for him to not reciprocate.

How could he resist someone like Xiao? He bets he’s a hotshot in where he is. He could imagine him being an introvert who barely speaks and avoids social contact.

And Venti exceptionally likes to charm that kind of people. Just look at Diluc.

Venti wouldn’t have known that it ends differently with Xiao – he didn’t foresee himself falling for Xiao.

He keeps all the letter and flower press safe in a drawer. Because those are the words that keeps him distracted with all the mess around him.

Venti never handled stress well, he will always find something to distract himself, and Xiao’s letter works wonderfully.

Those poorly drawn Cecilia flowers; those flowers that pressed in odd angles, all the weird shits that Xiao was saying.

And also, the number of Katherines he found. (Venti never told him, he personally knew a few Katherines too.)

He swears, if he got a pet in the future, he would definitely name it Katheryne just to piss Xiao off.

Goodness, Xiao – a man of little words, but enough to keep Venti focus onto him for such a long duration.

But how long can Venti keep his focus on Xiao?

They are living in two different timeline and no matter how much they struggle they wouldn’t see each other. With what they doing now, they would only drag each other down and occupied that hollow space in their heart.

It wouldn’t be fair for Venti to do this to Xiao. It’s so selfish of him.

But is it selfish to be wanting to love someone?

Is it wrong for him to fell in love with Xiao?

Maybe.

Perhaps this war is a punishment and an eternal damnation for him.

But Venti won’t give a shit about it.

Because he did not regret falling in love for Xiao.

It has been so long since he holds the quill. The weight feels odd on his hand.

His hand moved so naturally on the paper.

The tip of the quill danced on the surface freely, letting the ink sinks into the sheet, holding words that he couldn’t no longer contained.

Every letter, every swirl, every drop of ink that recorded into the paper holds feelings that one could not be fully expressed by words.

All the agonies and sorrow for the past weeks, all the pain and bittersweet memories that he had, all formed into cursives on the paper.

And by the time he sighed his full name, he is crying all over again.

Thank goodness none of the tears stained the paper. He can’t let Xiao knows that he cried.

He won’t be able to reply Xiao when he asked about it.

He expected it didn’t he?

Then why his tears wouldn’t stop flowing?

He already anticipated it the moment the war started.

Why does it still hurt so much?

And he could hear Carmen’s voice,

“Com’on Venti. Suck it up. You know you need to do the right thing.”

Like what he had said in the letter, he’s fighting for a Monstadt that Xiao lives in, a better world for all.

He got no time to sulk, he needs to pick himself up.

Just in time, when his tears stopped flowing and heart calmed, Diluc and Jean came.

They keep their weapon close to them, with all men armed, ready to put their life on line.

“Ready?”

Collecting all his wits and courage that was left by the ghost of the Favonius, he keeps the letters locked in the drawer and grabbed his bow, determined to end it all at once.

“For Freedom.”