Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

As bizarre as this situation was, Dick was honestly surprised this had never happened before. And didn’t that say how insane their lives were.

He wasn’t sure if the magician or wizard or sorcerer or whatever she’d been- was there a difference?- had done this on purpose or not. The way she’d been stumbling and stuttering through her spellbook hadn’t screamed ‘experienced’. And she’d looked as surprised as the rest of them when it happened.

At least she hadn’t killed anyone with her haphazard spell casting. Dick had been worried, but Zatanna had assured him it was nothing dangerous. She’d been able to come right away to check Damian over. Once she’d confirmed the spell wasn’t harmful or expanding, she’d gone to help Bruce catch the wizard before more harm could be done. Then she’d need to go get some supplies and do a little extra research before she tried to reverse it. Dick was relieved she was so confident that the spell was safe. And despite his lingering concern…

Dick glanced down at the baby in his arms. “You’re sooo cute, Dami,” he cooed, tickling a finger against Damian’s bare belly. They hadn’t had any baby clothes at the Manor, but they’d had diapers leftover from when Clark would visit with baby Jon. So at least Damian wasn’t nude by baby standards. Jason was bringing some clothes for him. It didn’t super matter since Damian was a baby and hopefully the spell would be reversed by the end of the day, but Jason had offered, and it would be good to have if this lasted longer than they expected.

Call him biased, but he wasn’t, and Damian was literally and objectively the cutest baby he’d ever seen in his life. He was so chubby and tiny. So, so tiny. So cuddlable. His big, green eyes looking around curiously while he almost looked serious with his tiny mouth remaining in a scowly pout that was so Damian and so cute. Dick was about ready to explode from cuteness overload. Damian had been cute before, but this was a whole other level.

Leslie had estimated he was about six months right now. He had some hair and just starting to sprout teeth. Alfred was making some baby food for him now. Apparently, he didn’t trust the store brought stuff to be of the highest quality.

Tim crept closer from where he’d been hovering at the edge of the room. “How is he scowling?” he asked in nervous disbelief. “Are babies supposed the be able to do that? Or is he just using his gremlin powers?”

“He’s just a little grumpy,” Dick replied. Poor Tim was a bit intimidated by the baby. “He doesn’t understand what’s happening.” He held out a finger, watching with glee as Damian’s tiny fingers reached out to try and grab it. “Don’t worry, Little D,” he sang. “Your big brothers are here. And soon Bruce will come back and we’ll get you fixed.”

Tim perked up somewhat. “What do you think his memories are like?” he asked analytically, eyes narrowing in thought. Always the detective. “Like, does he remember us as much as his baby brain can or does he only have the memories he had at that age? Does he even recognize us? It might be Talia he wants.”

Dick stiffened, gripping Damian slightly tighter. Could that be true? No way. Damian couldn’t want that vile, manipulative, evil bitch when his real family was already here.

He was fairly certain he hated the woman more than anyone else in the family. Maybe more than all of them combined. Damian and Jason still had some small amount of misplaced affection for her from their lingering brainwashing. Bruce was definitely no longer romantically interested in her, but Dick didn’t see the boiling hate for the woman that he himself carried. She’d stolen two of his little brothers from him. Manipulated them, twisted them, and abused them. Dick would never forgive her. That wasn’t even including all the awful things she did for the League. Talia had never liked him either. Back when Bruce had first taken him in, she’d seen Dick as a low born circus brat that was distracting Bruce from her and his mission and her opinion of him never seemed to get any higher. Dick took it as a compliment.

A familiar voice came from behind them. “Nah, Talia wasn’t around him much for the baby years. He had a few nursemaids they cycled through.” Dick turned to see Jason standing in the doorway holding a large cardboard box.

It took a second for Dick to process Jason’s sudden presence and his words. “Of course she didn’t,” he scoffed, then frowned. Jason definitely hadn’t been with the League while Damian was a baby. “How do you know that?”

Jason rolled his eyes. “I hear things. From Talia, from other League members. And it doesn’t take a genius to guess that was how it was even if I hadn’t been told anything. You think Ra’s gave his second-in-command maternity leave? He views babies as literally worthless. If there was some sort of magical button he could’ve pushed to immediately age Damian up to four so they could start training him right away, he would have.”

“Four?” Dick repeated, clutching Damian closer. Like that would somehow protect him from what had already happened.

Shrugging, Jason stepped fully into the room. “You already knew the kid’s nonexistent childhood was brutal. And that Ra’s is insane.”

“Talia really just didn’t give a damn, did she,” Dick growled, anger boiling beneath his skin.

Jason gave him a look that said a defense was coming. Of Talia. He struggled to remind himself that it wasn’t entirely Jason’s fault. The woman had had her claws in him for years, it wasn’t something so easily shaken off.

“I think Talia wanted to spend more time with him, but Ra’s wouldn’t allow it,” was Jason’s lame excuse. “Both because Ra’s saw it as a waste of time and because he didn’t want Talia getting too emotionally attached. I can’t really see her changing diapers but holding the kid more would’ve been nice. Heck, I’m pretty sure I’ve spent more time with her than Damian ever has.”

“That’s not an excuse,” Dick hissed. “She could’ve left Ra’s. Came to Bruce. He would’ve protected them.”

Jason’s eyes narrowed angrily. “I’m not excusing it!” he snapped. “I’m just saying it wasn’t as straightforward as you probably think it was.”

“What’s in the box?” Tim interrupted, probably trying to stop them before they devolved into an argument. Which was the right call, now wasn’t the time. And it was a good question. What was in the box? It was a big box.

“Clothes for Damian,” Jason answered, his eyes moving from Dick down to the baby in his arms. His face softened at the sight. “Aww, look at that, the gremlin used to be cute.”

“What?!” Dick startled, frowning. “Jay, Zatanna will have him back to normal by the end of the day. I told you that. He just needs the one outfit. How much clothes did you buy?” Did Jason not believe Zatanna? But why wouldn’t he?

“I didn’t buy anything,” Jason corrected, suspiciously pleasant. “I had these already. In case of emergencies.”

Ok, his little brother was definitely up to something. “What emergency would you need baby clothes for?” He was almost scared for the answer. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked- no, wait, he hadn’t asked Jason, Jason had volunteered. How had that not set off red flags for him? Dang it, Damian’s adorableness was too distracting for fully rational thought.

His confusion and worry only deepened when Roy suddenly walked into the room carrying another large box. Roy was in on this? What even was this?

Roy gave him and Tim a small wave of greeting, so whatever was in the box couldn’t be too heavy or he wouldn’t have been able to partially let go.

“Where do you want this, Jaybird,” Roy asked.

“Just put it on the floor somewhere,” Jason said flippantly, plopping his own box on the floor so it wasn’t delicate either. No clanging. That made Dick feel a bit better. Jason scowled. “And don’t call me that.”

Roy shrugged. “Sure thing, Jaybird.” Despite Dick’s steadily rising paranoia, a smile slipped onto his face. A smile he quickly suppressed as Jason turned to glare at Roy.

Placing his box on the ground, the redhead raised his hands in mock defense. “Hey, you’re the one who made me drag this stuff out here. I was taking a much-deserved nap when you called me.”

Jason scoffed. “Yes, thanks for that. You can go back to your nap now.” He made a shooing motion with his hands.

“Wait!” Dick countered. Roy was his last chance to get the info he needed to brace himself for whatever was about to happen. “What’s going on? What are in the boxes?”

Roy shook his head and rolled his eyes in good natured exasperation. Moving a little closer to get a better look at Damian, he said, “I can’t believe this actually happened. I’ll never be able to talk him out of any of his crazy plans now.” He shook his head again, more mournfully this time. “He’s real cute,” he told Dick, then stood up and walked out the door. The jerk. After he was already out of sight, Roy called back, “I expect my pictures as payment, Jaybird.”

“You’ll get them, asshole,” Jason shouted back. Grumbling something too quiet for Dick to catch, he came and crouched beside Dick, poking at Damian’s plump bare baby belly in fascination. “He really is fine, right?” he asked with a frown.

“Yep, just a lot smaller,” Dick confirmed, silently surrendering as Jason fully dropped his tough guy act and smiled down at the baby. There was no point in continuing the box interrogation, Jay was trying to be an ass. Ironically, he would get answers quicker if he didn’t ask the questions. And whatever it was couldn’t be anything bad. Jason wouldn’t do anything that risked hurting Damian.

It could be something stupid though.

Jason nodded. “I’m here to end your nudity, Damian,” he informed the infant, tugging one of the boxes closer. He opened it, pulling out… a tiny, green dinosaur costume.

“Jason, no,” Tim rebuked firmly, before Dick could even react, “you can’t take advantage of him like that.” As much as it pained Dick to agree, because it was super cute, Tim was right.

“He’s right, Jay,” Dick said, shaking his head. “How would you like it if you got brainwashed or something and we made you dress up in costumes?” Were both those boxes full of baby costumes. How had he…?

Jason rolled his eyes. “I ain’t taking advantage of sh- anything. This isn’t him being brainwashed. He’s a baby. And people dress up babies all the time and no one complains.”

“But he isn’t really a baby,” Dick argued.

“Could’ve fooled me,” Jason shot back. “C’mon Dick,” he wheedled. “This is the kind of stuff we would’ve done with him at this age anyways.” Oh definitely. One thousand percent. There were so many things he would’ve done with a baby Damian. “It’s our right as older family members.”

Oh so now they were family? At least he was admitting it. Honestly, he was making some fair points but… “I don’t know, Jay,” he said, not able to hide the uncertainty in his voice. It was like blood in the water the way Jason’s eyes lit up. “It doesn’t feel right. You know he wouldn’t like it…”

“Damian doesn’t like anything,” Jason countered, starting to riffle through the box. “That doesn’t stop you from dragging him around to do stuff. And you’ll never get another chance at this if you let it pass.”

That was… kinda true. Not the Damian not liking anything part, but the other stuff. And Jason was right, this was more akin to time travel than brainwashing. It wasn’t brainwashing at all. If they’d plucked the baby Damian from the past, Dick wouldn’t have a problem with this. That might even be how the spell worked, Z hadn’t gone into detail. Maybe this wasn’t as morally questionable as he’d instinctively thought…

“Hmm,” Dick hummed noncommittedly, trying maybe a little too desperately to rationalize this in his head. Because it would be so cute, and Jason was right about this being his only chance.

“You know you want to,” Jason tempted, a sly smile creeping onto his face. “You can’t honestly tell me you don’t want to see him in- this!” He pulled out a costume and waved it in Dick’s face.

“Oh my gosh,” Dick breathed, feeling the last of his resolve shattering.

“Dick, no,” Tim begged, but Dick was already reaching for the outfit.

“A Nightwing onesie?!” Dick gasped gleefully. “They make those?!” It was his current costume too. Mostly black with his blue bird symbol on its chest, the blue shoulder pads, and stripes on the boots. How had he not known these existed? Well, he didn’t really spend time in the baby section of stores but surely he would have seen a post of one online or maybe seen one out in the wild?

“Apparently,” Jason said with a shrug, a smug grin on his face as he let Dick take the outfit.

“Dick,” Tim tried again, inching closer like he planned on grabbing the tiny outfit away.

“But it’s so cute, Timmy,” Dick pleaded, eyes wide and innocent as he clutched the outfit to his chest.

“You are a weak man, Dick,” Tim accused, shaking his head. “You see Damian wearing your old costume all the time.”

That wasn’t the same thing! “But Timmy-“

“Weak.”

“Looks like you’ve been outvoted, Timmers!” Jason cheered. “Besides-“ he leaned in closer to the smaller boy, somehow managing to invade his space despite Tim currently being higher than him. “we both know you want this too. You’re just too much of a coward to admit it. Does the kid really scare you that much? You gonna be bossed around by a baby?”

“I’m not-“ Tim half sputtered. “You know he’s gonna be mad!”

Jason waved the protest away. “I’ll take the fall for it if it scares you so much, Timbers. I’m the one who brought the costumes after all. So don’t worry your sleep deprived little head about it.”

“I got sleep last night,” Tim grumbled, but finally surrendered, plopping to sit crossed legged on the floor.

Dick lost no time getting Damian into the onesie, being probably overly gentle as he maneuvered tiny limbs.

“Oh, Dami,” he crooned. “You’re so cute!” The baby was staring down at the Nightwing symbol like he didn’t understand what was this material they’d put over his body. He was the cutest, littlest Nightwing ever! Dick gazed down at the mini Nightwing, trying to sear the image into his brain forever.

Jason watched Damian crawl around with an almost maniac smile, scooching forward to get closer. “Hm,” he hummed, staring down at Damian intently. He tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Alright Timmy, now is your time to shine. Go get your stalker camera and put those photography skills to use.”

That got Dick to tear his gaze away from Damian. He frowned, turning to face Jason. As tempting as the prospect of having a picture of this to treasure forever was, that might be pushing it.

Tim was against it too, looking downright alarmed. “What?! No!” he shook his head frenziedly. “Are you insane?! He’s already going to be mad as it is!” The way he looked at the baby you’d think he thought Damian would somehow draw a knife, lunge at him, and stab him then and there.

Jason rolled his eyes. “Like you’ve ever needed people’s permission to take pictures before. You have two options- either you take the pictures, or I take the pictures and tell him you did it. These pictures are happening no matter what you do, so we might as well have the expert do it.”

Tim squirmed, though Dick suspected it was more out of embarrassment from Jason’s possibly unwitting compliment of his photography skills than anything else. The eldest opened his mouth to intervene but Jason whipped around, and his distraught expression made him pause.

“You really want to have no baby pictures of your baby brother, Dickie?” Jason asked in what was definitely fake distress. “This is the only chance you’ll ever get. Unless Talia sent you pictures that may or may not exist.” Under his breath in a normal tone Jason muttered, “Honestly I think she would have had a painting done if anything.” Then back to his overacting, “Do you really want Talia to be the only one with Damian’s baby pictures? And what about Cass? Think about how mad she’ll be that she missed out on this and you have no pictures!”

Dick scowled. He did hate the possibility that Damian’s abusive mother had his baby pictures, but his family didn’t. And Cass would be upset she missed this. Not angry, but sad and disappointed, which was arguably worse. He knew Jason was trying to manipulate him but if he had good arguments, he had good arguments. This was a time travel situation without having to worry about wrecking timelines so…

“Go get the camera, Tim,” Dick agreed. Jason puffed up triumphantly.

“What?!” Tim groaned. “You too? I don’t think you-“

“Succumb to peer pressure, Timmy,” Jason interrupted, reaching out and physically pushing Tim to get up.

Tim rolled his eyes, but obediently got up and slunk off to get the camera, grumbling under his breath.

Dick returned his full attention to Damian and melted all over again. The baby had taken a break from crawling in circles to sit next to Dick’s legs. “Aww, Dami,” he sang, scooping the baby into his lap. “Do you like your outfit? You look just like your big brother!” He kind of desperately wanted to show everyone he knew but that really would be going to far. He’d use his incredible self-control and limit himself to family and very close friends.

“I think he actually wears it better than you,” Jason inputted.

Dick grinned widely. “Even I can’t compete with that cute wittle face.” He nuzzled at Damian’s forehead.

Jason snorted, reaching out a hand towards Damian then hesitating. “Does he remember us?” he asked. “Does he recognize us?”

“I think so,” Dick answered. Damian would be crying or something if he didn’t, right? He was too young for talking so that wasn’t an option. He raised Damian so he could get a better view of Jason’s face. “You know Jay, right Dami?”

“Geez, Dick,” Jason reproached, “stop waving the baby in front of my face.” Dick put Damian back on his lap. Jason reached out his hand again. His hands were already big but compared to Damian’s current small size they seemed massive. Damian’s tiny arms reached back, trying to grab at Jason’s fingers. Jason let Damian pull his finger along and soon Damian’s gums were gnawing on Jason’s pointer finger. “He’s trying to eat me,” Jason deadpanned.

“Gaww,” Dick crooned. Then he fixed Jason with his best big brother glare. “Your hands better be clean,” he warned. Gunpowder, grease, blood, chemicals, trash residue, there was so much grossness that could be stuck to his little brother’s hands.

Jason rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t be letting him do this if my hands were dirty. I washed them before I came in.” Observing Damian, he frowned slightly. “You said he was six months, right?”

“Yeah,” Dick nodded, worry causing his heartbeat to speed up. Why was Jason frowning? It was like he’d noticed something wrong with Damian. Did he know something Dick didn’t? He wasn’t an expert on babies. But Leslie had checked him! And he looked fine. Was he not fine?!

Fortunately for Dick’s blood pressure, Jason immediately explained himself.

“That means he’s at the point his teeth are starting to poke through his gums,” Jason told him, turning to use his free hand to dig through one of the boxes. “I assume he’s been biting you too?”

Dick nodded anxiously. He hadn’t thought much of it. That was just something babies did.

“His gums are probably sore,” Jason informed him. “He’s trying to teeth. That may be part of why he’s so grumpy.” Pulling out a small gold colored, plastic toy from the box, he handed it to Damian. It was shaped like a badge, and it had a star shape popping out of the center as well as ridges around the edges. “That’s part of another costume,” Jason said, gently tugging his finger out of Damian’s mouth and leading Damian to replace it with the toy. “But he can use it now.” The baby started chewing at it right away.

Dick’s eyes widened in horror. “So he’s been hurting this whole time?!” And he hadn’t helped him? Hadn’t even realized?

Jason gave him a funny look. “’Hurting’ is a bit much. A little uncomfortable, yeah, but now that he’s got something to chew, he’ll be fine.”

Guilt deflated his good mood, but Dick tried to fight the feeling back. Adjusting his hold on Damian, he opened his mouth to ask a semi-related question but then Tim walked back into the room, camera in hand.

The teen was fiddling with the camera instead of watching where he was going. He raised the camera and took a picture of the three of them on the floor, probably testing the settings and the lighting and all that camera stuff. Apparently satisfied with the results, Tim nodded and finally looked at them.

“Alright,” Tim sighed. “Let’s start digging our graves.”

Jason beamed. “Oh, I’m an expert grave digger, Timmy.”

Tim joined Dick in glaring at Jason, but Jason ignored them. And honestly, even though Dick really did hate when Jason made death jokes, this was the happiest Dick had seen Jason in a long time. With the family too. He couldn’t really get mad at him right now.

Shaking his head, Tim started taking pictures. He didn’t ask them to smile, but Dick was already smiling and Jason had scooted away once the shutter started clicking. Jason didn’t like getting his picture taken. Never had. Even back during his childhood days at the Manor. Dick wasn’t really sure why.

Oooh, wait, this was a golden opportunity to get the elusive Jason photo. A family photo even!

“Jason, you should hold Damian for a bit,” Dick declared, placing the baby in his startled brother’s lap. Jason’s hands automatically went to steady the baby, but his brain seemed to stutter.

Tim grinned, instantly picking up on the plot. In the time it took Dick to reposition himself beside Jason so he could be in the photo too, Tim already had three pictures of Damian and Jason. Jason scowled but didn’t kick up a fuss, probably out of fear they’d stop taking pictures of Damian if he refused.

After a while, Tim had dozens of pictures. Damian by himself, Damian with various combinations of his brothers, Damian with the chew toy and without it, a few with Dick making some goofier poses. Jason raised his hand to signal Tim to stop.

“Think we’ve got plenty of this one,” Jason said, sounding pleased. “We should move on to the next.” He pulled out an adorable mini superman costume from one of the boxes. It had a little cape and everything. Uncle Clark would have a heart attack of cute at the sight of it.

Tim eyed the boxes warily. “How many costumes do you have exactly?” Dick turned to look at the boxes too. With how small the costumes were, there could easily be dozens.

Jason just grinned.

Chapter Text

The mini-Superman wasn’t baby Nightwing levels of cute, but it was still impressive. Damian was a natural ultra-cute model.

Dick had seen other babies in Superman costumes before and Damian was the cutest. The way the onsie hid his tiny feet. The way he chewed at his cape. The way he just existed.

Jason had gotten a fluffy white blanket from one of the guest rooms to imitate a cloud. When Damian lay on his belly, it almost looked like the Superman flying pose. Kind of. It was cute either way.

He’d been surprised that Jason had found the blanket so quickly. Had he known what blankets were in which guest room? Did Jason maybe come to the Manor more than he’d thought? He felt a glimmer of hope at the possibly, but it was unlikely. Jason could have been going for any white sheet, something almost all the bedrooms had, and stumbled onto the blanket by chance.

“Alright,” Jason said as Tim snapped a final picture. They’d managed to get Damian to look up in as close to a ‘looking upwards Superman style’ as they could get. “Let’s keep it moving.” He pulled a dog costume out of the box.

The costume was brown, covered in curly fluff. The hood had eyes, a nose, and floppy ears. The ears were bigger than Damian’s little head.

“Aww,” Dick cooed, scooping Damian up. “What a cute little puppy you are, Dami!” The costume felt plush against his skin. It was surprisingly well made. Actually, they’d all been surprisingly well made so far. Most of the baby costumes he’d seen before now had been, well, not cheap exactly, but less detailed. Which made sense, babies grew so fast they were probably only ever going to wear it once and the baby inside was the main attraction anyways.

“Hmm,” Jason hummed, eyeing Damian thoughtfully. “You think we could get Titus in one this one? Or will the mutt stomple him?”

“Oh God,” Tim moaned. “Do not let Damian hear you calling Titus a mutt. He will stab you. Or worse.”

Jason snorted. “What, he steal your coffee or something?”

Dick tuned out their bickering to focus on Damian. He was getting so many cuddles out of this. If only he’d gotten all his younger siblings when they were super little. He could’ve indoctrinated them into cuddling at a young age, so they didn’t grumble like they did now. He knew they all secretly liked it. They just wanted to act ‘tough’.

He started paying attention to the others again when Jason re-entered the room with Titus trotting behind him. The sight gave Dick a little spark of anxiety. Titus was the definition of a gentle giant but Damian was so small and Titus was so big…

Titus seemed very interested in the baby in the room. The dog went right up to Dick, sniffing the baby in his lap. Did he recognize his owner? Could he tell by the scent? It seemed like Damian must smell very different but maybe it was close enough for a dog nose. Titus’ tongue stretched out and licked at the fluff covering Damian’s tiny arm. Damian let out an adorable little giggle, reaching out a hand towards the dog. Dick’s heart might literally melt. He might not survive this. Even as a baby Damian was still an animal lover.

Tim got to work quickly. None of them were the dog whisperer Dami was so they had to resort to treats to get the canine to do certain things. They ended up spending about five minutes taking pictures before moving to the next costume. In Dick’s opinion, they were moving too fast, he wanted to savor the cuteness longer. But he supposed they were on a time limit. And they did have pictures. Lots of pictures.

“A Robin costume, Jason? Really?” Tim said, cocking an eyebrow. “He is Robin. He wears that all the time.”

“I don’t get what you’re trying to say,” Jason replied distractedly as he chased down Damian’s left foot to put on a boot. “That is part of what makes it cute. He’s mini-Robin.” He straightened, having succeeded in getting on the shoes. “Besides, Damian never had to wear this Robin uniform. Never had to suffer the indignity of booty shorts.” Jason let out a mournful sigh. “I thought I’d get some sort of feeling of justice seeing him in this, but it turns out a baby is the one body type that can make this outfit not look cringe. Dammit, I should’ve given him my Robin suit.”

Dick rolled his eyes. He was so unappreciated. “You guys always make fun of me for my iconic fashion sense. As I’ve told you a billion times, the shorts were non-confining so I could move how I wanted. And you, act like I never had pants on my uniform. I did. Once I found a pair I liked.”

“You mean once your Titan friends shamed you,” Jason falsely corrected.

“Oh please,” Dick rebutted. “I was never ‘shamed’. I looked great. The pants just offered better protection. And it got cold sometimes.” Like, really cold. Gotham was a freezing hellpit.

“Yeah, I know,” Jason said pointedly. “Yet when you hand me down your costume, you give me the shorty shorts version.”

“It was my first suit,” Dick defended. “It was symbolic. And your size. You could’ve changed it. You did change it eventually.”

“Yeah,” Jason scoffed, “after I got over my near crippling fear of offending you. I mean good grief Dick, what did you expect me to do? ‘Oh, thanks, I know this is a big deal and that you don’t fucking like me and you’ve only just barely started talking to me, but let me just throw out and change half of this very important outfit you just gave me.”

Dick frowned. “I liked you. And I wouldn’t have been offended.” He hadn’t thought Jason was one to care about what others thought about him anyways. “I would’ve offered to help you change it if that’s what you wanted.”

A shudder ran up Jason’s body. “Y’know, in hindsight, maybe some short-term suffering saved me from longer term pain.”

So mean. Dick rolled his eyes, but the feeling of guilt was still there. Tim snorted a laugh, not pausing in his picture taking.

“Don’t laugh, Replacement,” Jason ordered, pointing a finger at him. “You didn’t have to go through what I did. Those pants were one of my greatest gifts to the next generation. No way you would’ve had the guts to change the suit when you first started out.”

Tim shook his head rapidly with wide horrified eyes, laying the camera down. “At the start? No, no way. I ended up changing it a little so it didn’t look exactly like yours, but I couldn’t do any big changes like that. It was still your suit. But I didn’t want to have your same suit because it was still your suit so I really didn’t know what to-“

“Good grief, Timmers,” Jason cut into Tim’s babbling. “I get it, I was just trying to make sure you were properly grateful for your pants. That’s all, geez.”

Dick marveled at the interaction. They were getting along! A year ago, Jason would have shot at Tim on sight, not to actually hit him, he’d been better than that by that point, but it hadn’t been friendly. Now here they were, joking around on the floor of one of the Manor’s living rooms. Was it because the Pit had faded? Was it just the passing of time? Was it exposure to the family? Dick didn’t know, but the sight made him giddy.

A couple dozen photos later and Jason moved on to a cat costume. It was grey with white ‘paws’ and a white tipped tail. It was made out of a fluffy yarn that made the costume look handmade. Like the dog costume, there was a hood with cat ears.

“Well,” Jason said, handing Damian to Dick, “if we got the dog in on the dog one, I guess we should get the cat in on this one.”

Tim snorted. “Good luck with that. You’ll be lucky to even find him. And then bringing him back without getting your arms clawed to shreds is a whole other battle.”

Shrugging, Jason stood up. “It gets under my feet every time I come here. I think Damian trained the thing to stalk me.” No, Damian had told Dick that the cat liked Jason. The kid had been a little ruffled about it. “I’m sure it will come to me if I walk around a bit. I’ll go look for him. Don’t move on to the next one without me.”

Ten seconds after Jason had left the room, Tim turned to him and asked, “Is he on drugs?”

“Jason doesn’t need to be on drugs to be nice,” Dick scolded lightly, although he was secretly wondering if something had happened as well. Getting Jason to come to the Manor was like trying to get Tim to get some proper sleep. Both often involved drugs. And/or serious injury.

“He wouldn’t come home for Thanksgiving even though we begged him to, even Alfred begged him to, but dressing Damian up in little costumes? That he’ll come home for?” Tim asked, disbelieving.

“Well a baby Damian’s enough to tempt anyone,” Dick pointed out logically. “And we have been getting along lately. Even Bruce is behaving. This is also-“ he paused to think of the right word. “less familial than Thanksgiving, so maybe it doesn’t freak him out as much.” His eyes shone. “We might be able to get him to come this year!” He swore if Bruce messed this up somehow…

“You think?” Tim asked quietly, a fragile hope in his voice that twisted Dick’s heart. How did Jason not realize how desperately the family wanted him back?

Dick opened his mouth to give his little brother encouragement but snapped it shut when Jason strode in with a ball of white and black fur in his arms.

The surprise on Tim’s face was almost comic. “There is no way you found him that fast!”

“Didn’t have to,” Jason told him, placing the cat on the floor. “He walked up to me in the hallway. I told you, he’s a trained stalker. Probably would go for my throat if I was asleep, knowing Demon Brat.”

Dick rolled his eyes, letting Damian crawl off his lap towards the cat. He was more nervous about Alfred than he had been about Titus, but Jason was right there, and they weren’t shoving the cat onto him, they just wanted him in the frame.

He was still ready to react at the slightest sign of feline aggression.

“Selina’s gonna love these,” Jason commented, looking over Tim’s shoulder to scrutinize the pictures.

Dick nodded, scooting over to be closer to Damian. He was so cute. He was itching to pick the baby up again but that would mess up Tim’s pictures. His eyes slid over to Jason. His biggest little brother wouldn’t be able to escape, not if he wanted to keep playing with Damian. An opportunity like this almost never happened, especially not when Jason was in a good mood. 

Before he could sneak over though, Jason announced it was time for the next costume. Dick redirected to scoop up Damian (he’d get Jason later) and cuddled him for a few seconds before starting to take off the costume.

He was excited to see what Jason would pull out of the box next. They’d all been cute so far. It was like opening one of those keychain bags where you don’t know which one you got until you opened it. Except you only have a vague idea of what designs your unpredictable brother might have picked but you’re pretty sure they’ll all be cute because he doesn’t seem to be doing this to be mean. This was classic big brother stuff. Dick was so proud.

…

He cocked an eyebrow. Not what he’d been expecting. But adorable!

Tim’s eyes widened, then narrowed. “Okay, where are you getting these? A Nightwing and Robin costume? I see those everywhere. I have never seen a Red Robin costume. I’m not as popular as you guys.”

That wasn’t true! Probably. Technically. Tim himself was generally liked as Robin and Red Robin. Red Robin just hadn’t had as much time to grow yet. Nightwing had his own city and was the oldest. Red Hood was very loud and more personal with the people he protected than the average bat. Red Robin was like Tim, he tried not to draw attention to himself, but he still had plenty of fans. Especially if you counted his Robin days fans.

Jason snorted. “I’m not popular at all, so I’m sure you have me beat. I didn’t buy this at a store though.” He poked at the black cape trailing behind Damian. “This is custom made.”

Both his little brothers thought people didn’t like them? He could let that stand.

Pulling out his phone, he scrolled through his photos until he found the ones he wanted. “You’re popular Little Wing. You’ve got plushies and everything.” He held out the phone for everyone to see the photo of him smiling at the camera holding the Red Hood doll.

“What the-?” Jason stared at the screen with a bewildered expression. “Who the hell is buying their kids a Red Hood plushie? Wait, did you buy a Red Hood plushie?!”

“I bought three,” Dick corrected with a grin. “I have some Red Robin ones too. I also have your funko pops-ooh!” He eagerly scrolled further down. “Look, they made a buddy pop of us!”

The photo showed Red Hood and Nightwing pops standing next to each other in battle stances on a rooftop. “It’s so cute! They gave you little guns and everything.” Dick had nearly fallen on his face in his desperate dive to get it when he’d seen it on the shelf.

“But that’s-“Jason stuttered. Then he shook his head. “Who is getting the royalties for these?”

“The Justice League has a program,” Dick replied, graciously allowing Jason to dodge the more embarrassing subject. Not that it should be embarrassing, but Jason was very sensitive about certain things.

A scowl passed over Jason’s face. “Those thieving bastards. I’m not a member of the Justice League.” Dick knew the scowl was because of the Justice League rather than missing royalties.

Shrugging, Dick asked, “You wanna deal with that stuff?”

Jason’s scowl deepened. “Ugh,” he groaned, “no.” Huffing, he reached over, too quick for Dick to react, and snatched Damian from Dick’s lap.

“Little Wing!” he gasped, placing the phone down. “Give him back!”

“Nope,” Jason said, curling around Damian further. “You’ve lost the right.”

“For doing what?” Dick protested. Aww, Damian looked even tinier in Jason’s lap.

“Wait, back up,” Tim interrupted. “Custom-made? Why did you get a custom Red Robin baby outfit? You didn’t get it made in the hour between Dick calling you and you coming here. Even if someone happened to have it already made, you still couldn’t have gotten your hands on it so quickly. Why did you already have it?”

Huh, Tim was right, that was weird. Really weird. He couldn’t think of how it might hint at something bad, but it was suspicious. Come to think of it, the other costumes had looked pretty nice and custom too…

Jason shrugged. “I wanted to be prepared if this scenario ever happened.”

Dick had no idea what that meant. Just, whenever they got their hands on a baby, Jason had wanted to be able to dress them up? That was…odd of him.

“You had a plan for if one of us got turned into a baby?” Tim said slowly. Dick snorted. There was no way that was what Jason had meant. “And that plan was to dress up in cute little costumes?”

Jason rolled his eyes. “It wasn’t just the costumes.” Wait, what? “I also had ways to fix it, but Zatanna already has that covered so I only brought the costumes.”

For a few seconds, Dick and Tim just stared at Jason in disbelief, Damian was staring up at Jason too, which was super cute, but he wouldn’t allow himself to be distracted.

“What?” Jason asked, bizarrely nonchalant.

“You expected this to happen?” Dick asked, baffled.

Jason shrugged. “It was a possibility. And can you imagine this happening and me not being ready?” He shook his head in mild horror. “You can’t even get costumes like this in most stores unless it’s around Halloween. Hired some people to make a lot of these anyways, but that kind of thing takes time. Could’ve completely missed this chance.”

“How much time have you spent on this?” Dick asked, eyebrows furrowing. Was this funny or concerning?

“How much money have you spent on this?” Tim asked.

Jason waved his hand flippantly. “You can’t put a price on something like this. And I was supporting artists.”

Dick frowned. “You still haven’t fixed the plumbing in your apartment. Or the walls. Or the lights.” It was a crappy apartment. Jason had the money to get a not crappy apartment, but he hated spending money. On himself anyways. Dick often thought about sneaking in and fixing at least some of the problems himself, but Jason would be mad about it. Might even abandon the apartment out of spite.

Jason scowled. “My apartment’s fine. It’s functional. I don’t need a fancy dishwasher or perfect walls. The place is probably temporary anyways, investing in it when I might have to torch it later is stupid.”

Filing away Jason’s worrying level of life instability to deal with later, Dick returned the subject to Jason’s other worrying thoughts.

“Why did you consider this particular scenario so likely to happen that you prepared for it?” Dick asked, very careful not to sound accusatory.

Jason shrugged. “Some wizard I was fighting mentioned it in a long list of the threats. I don’t think he could actually do most of the things he was saying, he was pretty meh magically, but it got me thinking about it. The costume thing started as a joke between me and Roy but it kinda evolved into a hobby. I wasn’t sure what size you guys might end up as, so I just got several sizes of each. He used to make fun of me for it, but who’s laughing now?”

“Why were you fighting a magic user?” Tim asked. Yeah, that was concerning. Jason had never told them he’d been tangling with magic users. And he didn’t think Jason had any magic friends he could call on to help him.

“What do you mean ‘why’?” Jason asked, understanding the core question. “I can’t control what kind of power the bad guy has. I’m not going to let someone off just because they have a weird power. The guy was easy anyways. Barely knew what he was doing.”

“That’s not what we were saying,” Dick protested. “Magic just sucks is all. Even a meta you can use logic and science and all that. Magic is dangerous. It would be nice if you kept us more in the loop.”

Jason scoffed. “Magic makes its own sort of sense, even if I do hate it. But that doesn’t matter. What matters is that now it is Timmy’s turn to be in the photos.” He passed off Damian onto Tim’s lap, who froze at the contact. The way Tim looked down at the baby you’d think Damian was a rabid dog ready to lunge at the slightest movement.

“N-no, I can’t hold him,” Tim stammered. “I’m taking pictures.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Timbers,” Jason said, plucking the camera out of his hands. “I can manage a few pictures. He’s wearing your costume; you have to be in at least some of the pictures.”

“It’ll be so cute!” Dick gushed. “Brotherly bonding photos!” He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Tim look so uncomfortable. Had he never held a baby before?

“He’s an infant,” Tim protested, hands still in the air where the camera had once been. “This won’t cause any bonding. It will actually cause anti-bonding when he’s back to normal.” That wasn’t true, brotherly teasing was a very important part of bonding. If this could even be considered teasing.

Jason lowered the camera, looking annoyed. “Put your hands down, Replacement.”

Tim’s hands flopped to the ground.

Jason rolled his eyes. “Hold him.” Tim robotically moved his hands to hold onto Damian’s sides. It did not look natural. Ugh, Damian could be on his lap right now. But he understood the appeal of the pictures. And he shouldn’t hog Damian’s cuteness for himself.

Letting out an exasperated sigh, Jason raised the camera to begin the photo shoot. “You could try to make it look like you don’t think he’s a bomb, but fine. Hm, actually, this might make it funnier. You may stay as you are.”

“You didn’t put the cowl on it,” Tim noted, sounding strained.

“How observant of you, Timmy,” Jason responded drily, shutter clicking as he started taking pictures. “Real detective. I didn’t want to put a cowl on a baby.”

“Oh. That make se- wha-what is he doing?” All Damian was doing was thumping one of his little hands up and down.

“He’s just moving,” Dick told him gently. “He’s not upset or anything. Actually, he seems to like you.” At least, he wasn’t trying to crawl away or anything.

“No,” Jason joked. “that’s his attempt at murder. It’s very ineffective. Count yourself lucky Replacement.”

“Relax, Tim,” Dick encouraged. “Just focus on the cuteness. He doesn’t even have the teeth to bite.”

Dick was going to get Damian back on his lap as soon as possible, but he could wait a few minutes.

Chapter Text

The room was quickly turning into a mini-movie studio. They kept bringing in more and more props, littering the roof with stuffed animals, pillows, and whatever else they wanted for a particular shot. It was becoming a bit of a mess, but they’d clean it up when they were done.

Jason was currently getting Damian out of a little black bear costume. They’d given him a little stuffed black teddy bear for the shoot, like the baby had a baby. So cute. You’d think he’d get used to the cuteness and build a resistance to it, but no, still super cute. The appeal hadn’t lessened in the slightest.

Even Tim had finally given in and was super into his photos now. He was getting very artistic with his shots. Different angles, more fussy with the props, multiples of the same shots so he could pick out the best one. They were going to have to make a full photo album just for Damian’s baby pictures. It would be glorious.

“Dick,” Jason asked over his shoulder, Damian still hidden from view. “Does Damian have any tinier easels?”

“Um, he has super tiny easels,” Dick replied. “But they’re, like, the size of my hand. They’re for mini-art. He does have smaller canvases though.” Which costume would need an easel? A baby artist? Or did Jay just need the easel to hold a prop?

“Eh, the canvases will do,” Jason shrugged, waving him off. “Go grab one.”

Dick stood up, leaning to the side as he did to get a better look at Damian, but Jason matched his leaning to hide him. Jerk. Rushing to Damian’s room, Dick grabbed one of the smaller canvases and raced back.

“Aww, Dami,” Dick cooed, grinning down at the baby. It was an artist costume. The little outfit was covered in colorful paint splatters, had a little beret, and even had a paint brush plushie. It was adorable! When Damian began to gnaw on the end of the paintbrush, Dick thought his heart might be about to give out.

“Excellent,” Jason said, snatching the canvas from Dick’s hand. He used a stack of books to prop it up and plopped Damian down next to it. Then he pulled out a jar of green paint and, before Dick could say anything, took a real paintbrush and painted the hand Damian wasn’t using to hold the plushie.

“Jay,” Dick warned, concerned. He didn’t want Damian swallowing paint.

“Don’t worry, I’ll clean it off in a second,” Jason assured. Gently, he guided Damian’s little hand to the canvas, pressing it down on the clean white. Pulling the hand away, Jason took out a wipe and cleaned Damian’s hand. Damian scrunched his wittle nose during the process but once it was done, he looked between his hand and the green handprint on the canvas with a fascinated expression. The handprint was precious. Dibs. Triple dibs. That painting was Dick’s forever.

“That’s it!” Tim exclaimed excitedly. “Move your knee out of the shot, Jason.”

Dick was able to hold himself back for six shots before he dove down and scooped Damian into his lap. When Damian reached out and brushed his fingers against the side of the canvas, like he expected his now clean hands to do something, Dick leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “You’re such a good artist, Dami,” he praised.

“I did most of the work on that particular piece,” Jason pointed out.

Dick ignored Jason to nuzzle Damian’s head. Jason huffed, scooting over to the boxes to scout the next outfit.

Dick was sad to see the artist costume go, but they were on the clock.

A little cop costume was next. The star chew toy (a baby police badge apparently) from earlier was meant to go with this costume, they’d had to dig around a bit to find it again. It was super cute but it did make Dick wonder.

Jason had already admitted he’d had these costumes made for them, so were some costumes intended for a particular person? The hero ones were obvious, but had the artist one been picked with Damian in mind? Was the cop supposed to be for Dick? Jason had no way of knowing who this would happen to. It would make a kind of sense.

They did a few different sets of the cop costume. Damian by himself, asleep on the job, arresting a teddy bear… Dick really wished he could show Amy these, but he wouldn’t be able to explain where they came from.

Dick got to put Damian’s next costume on. Jason handed it to him and at first Dick wasn’t sure what it was. The light green and white cloth was folded up. Once he started helping Damian into it though, he realized it was a frog.

The onesie had a white belly and white spots on the elbows and knees. The hood had the frog’s smile and nose on it while the eyes and cloth yellow crown stuck out of the top of it. So he was a royal frog. Or a prince turned into a frog? Cute either way.

They all took turns being the one in the picture with Damian this time. Dick took the photos when it was Tim’s turn. Tim was handing Damian back to Dick when Alfred suddenly appeared in the room. Alfred even managed to sneak up on Cass sometimes, it really wasn’t natural.

The three of them were silent as Alfred surveyed the room. The piles of props, the discarded costumes, the adorable baby frog in Dick’s lap. When his eyes stopped on Dick, Dick instantly promised, “We’ll clean it up when we’re done.”

“Indeed, sir,” Alfred said, arching an eyebrow. “I see we’ve been enjoying Master Damian’s transformation.”

“He’s so cute, Alfred!” Dick gushed, holding Damian up for him to see. “Look!”

Alfred’s lips twitched into a smile. “The spitting image of his father at that age, eye color excluded.”

Jason made a face. “I can’t imagine Bruce as a baby.” Yeah, Dick struggled with that too. Obviously, he knew Bruce had been a baby at some point, but Bruce was big. To Dick, he’d always been big. Bruce being small was- weird.

“Well, he looked remarkably like how Master Damian does now,” Alfred informed him. “We do have photos of Master Bruce at that age around the house.”

“And now we’ll have baby Damian pictures too,” Jason said smugly. Yes, all the baby brother photos. Hm, come to think of it…

“Timmy, you’ve got baby pictures, right?” Dick asked. Tim must have been such a cute baby. “We should add them to the family album.” Only ones without Tim’s parents in them though.

Tim paused, mulling the question. “I know there are some somewhere. My parents had them professionally taken. For events and articles and stuff. I haven’t seen them in ages though. I’d have to dig around for them.” So they probably weren’t just hanging on the wall in Drake Manor. Not surprising, but still upsetting. Dick couldn’t really fathom how a parent could not give a shit about their kid, but they were out there.

“You should find those when you get a chance,” Dick told him.

“What about you, Dick?” Tim inquired, setting the camera aside. “Are your baby pictures somewhere?”

Dick nodded. “Mine are already in the family albums. Bruce recovered everything he could after he took me in.” Dick had never cared much about his baby photos. At least he didn’t care much about the photos that were of just him. He only had a few of those. The ones he cherished were the ones with his parents in them. But he viewed those more as photos of his parents than photos of baby him, even if he was in them.

Hearing a scoff, Dick turned to see Jason shuffling through the costume boxes again. He wasn’t sure what he’d said to earn his brother’s scorn.

“We could take a peek at your baby pictures, Jay,” Dick suggested slyly. Because Bruce absolutely would have gotten his hands on them, though Dick couldn’t recall ever seeing them. “I bet you were adorable.”

Jason snorted, pulling a folded black outfit out of the box, and setting it aside. “Doubt it. My old man always said I was a sickly, money-eating runt. I was probably a hideous baby.”

The whole family frowned. Even Damian frowned though that was likely just a coincidence. “Master Jason,” Alfred scolded lightly. “Willis may not have appreciated you as he should have, but I’m certain you were a delightfully adorable infant.”

“Yeah, you were super cute,” Dick agreed with absolute certainty. “Don’t you have a picture we could look at?”

Jason shrugged. “If the pictures exist, I’ve never seen it.”

Dick frowned harder, outlining the timeline in his head. Shelia must have dumped Jason on Willis very soon after he was born. Willis probably hadn’t been thrilled about that, but Jason was still his son. Surely he must have taken at least one picture. And Catherine had definitely loved Jason. Could it maybe be one of the holes Jason occasionally had in his memory? Dick didn’t want to voice the possibility aloud though and risk Jason getting upset. Or had Jason’s parents really just never taken any pictures of him?

“Hmm,” Dick hummed, deciding not to push it for now. Jason was in a good mood today and he’d like to keep it that way. “Well, I don’t need photographic evidence to know you were super duper cute, Jay.” If they did find photos though, Dick would be very happy.

“Whatever,” Jason grumbled, making grabby hands at Damian. “Give me the gremlin.” Dick handed Damian over and Jason stripped him of the frog costume and started putting on whatever the black costume was.

“Where on Earth did you acquire so many costumes on such short notice?” Alfred questioned, stepping around a pile of discarded props to get a closer look at Damian.

“Jason brought them,” Tim told him. “He was prepared for this situation apparently.”

“I see,” Alfred said, still sounding slightly puzzled.

“There we go,” Jason declared proudly. Dick gasped. The little suit Damian was now wearing looked exactly like Alfred’s. Bowtie and all.

Alfred arched an eyebrow, amusement glittering in his eyes. “It seems you were well prepared indeed, Master Jason.”

“Quick, Alfie, take some pictures with him in this,” Jay pleaded. Dick nodded eagerly. Ugh, today was the goldmine of cuteness. What if this was the peak? What if he never witnessed this level of cuteness again?

Alfred checked his watch then sat down on one of the armchairs. “I suppose I have time for a few photos.”

The older man appeared to be quite charmed by the baby in his lap. Damian really did look like baby Bruce. Dick wondered if Bruce had been as grumpy as baby Damian.

Alfred didn’t stay long though. After about a dozen shots, Damian was handed back to Dick.

“I’m afraid I must be off to pick up Master Bruce from Wayne Enterprises,” Alfred explained. “I merely came to check on Master Damian before I departed.” The man stood up. “I have also been informed that Miss Zatanna is due to return this afternoon with the necessary supplies for her spell.”

Dick sucked in a breath. “That doesn’t give us much time.”

“Shit, you’re right,” Jason agreed. “We need to keep pace.”

“How many are left?” Tim asked, reaching for his camera.

“Uh, twelve or so,” Jason estimated.

“Hm, we should be able to make it,” Dick calculated.

Alfred’s lips twitched. “Do enjoy your time with Master Damian. Though do give the boy a break if he starts getting upset with all the manhandling.”

“We will,” Dick promised, Tim and Jason echoing him.

With Alfred gone and a full set of photos of the butler costume, they moved on to the next one.

“A mailman?” Tim asked skeptically. “Why a mailman?”

“Y’know, I honestly don’t know,” Jason answered, placing a plushie that looked like a package in Damian’s lap. It was too big for Damian to grab so the baby patted at it instead. “I’m sure I had some kind of reason at the time. A lot of these were done on a whim.”

“So, what, you’re just sitting on the couch reading a book and you’re hit out of the blue with a baby costume idea?” Dick asked, half-joking.

“Inspiration can strike you anywhere, anytime,” Jason shrugged. “I have no control over it.”

“Well, he’s a very cute mailbaby,” Dick grinned, letting Damian crawl to the floor. “I’d let you deliver all my packages, Dami.”

Tim took some pictures as Damian wandered about. After a few shots, Dick plucked the hat off Damian because it seemed to be hampering his movement. Because Damian’s head was tiny.

Suddenly, Jason snapped his fingers. “That’s it!” he exclaimed, diving to one of the boxes.

“What’s it?” Dick asked.

“I remembered why I chose the mailman outfit,” Jason explained excitedly, pulling an envelope out and removing a card from it. Sliding over to Damian, Jason opened the card and placed it in front of the baby. “Alright, Timmy, take the picture.”

Dick felt a spark of indignation upon reading the words.

“Jason,” Tim protested.

“That’s not fair, Jay, you rigged it,” Dick pouted. The card had big blue bubbly text inside that read ‘You are my favorite brother’ then in a more childish (faked) red scrawl ‘Jason’.

“What? I’ve earned this,” Jason defended. “I’m the one who brought the costumes.”

Dick pulled out his phone. “Let him have it, Tim.” They had to choose their battles.

“What?!” Tim gasped, turning to look at Dick in disbelief.

“I can print more cards on cardstock,” Dick told him , rapidly searching the internet for card templates. “We can make more.”

A little scowl appeared on Jason’s face, but he didn’t protest. So after a few minutes of compiling and a few more minutes of printing, they created a new stack of cards.

They ended up with a stack of twelve cards, which was a lot of photographs and time, but it was worth it. They used ‘You are the most amazingly awesome brother ever!’ for each brother and the sister version for Cass. They used a Batman themed ‘You are my hero!’ for Bruce. ‘Thank you for being the best grandfather ever!’ for Alfred. A cute puppy card that said ‘I got you the gift that never stops giving’ then inside said ‘Open it, close it. Open it, close it. Hey, the fun never ends!’. A pancake card where the pancakes had little faces that said ‘No one’s butter than you! You’re flipping amazing!’. Another pancake card with ‘Nobody stacks up to you!’. One with a cat lying on top of a cake that said ‘What? Were you gonna eat that?’. A cute cartoon otter with ‘Have an otterly awesome day’. And a cartoon rock with sunglasses and an electric guitar that said ‘You rock’.

Some of the puns made Tim and Jason groan, but they used to be Robin too, they used puns just as much as Dick did, they had no right to judge him.

Once they were done with the mailman, Jason scooped Damian into his lap to start removing the outfit. Damian stared up at Jason with wide eyes. Babies stared a lot Dick had noticed. The average adult blinked fifteen times a minute, but Damian only blinked two or three times a minute. He wasn’t sure why that was. The lack of blinking paired with babies not having the social awareness to know that staring was weird meant a lot of staring. It was really cute. So long as the baby wasn’t sad or grumpy, they looked constantly amazed by everything.

Even Jason couldn’t resist those wide baby eyes. His little brother bent down and kissed the top of Damian’s head. Then, realizing what he’d just done, froze, eyes darting between Tim and Dick, shoulders hunching defensively. As if wanting to give your sweet baby brother some affection wasn’t the most natural thing in the world.

Jason shuffled back to grab the next costume (and to hide). Dick glanced at Tim who gave a subtle affirmative nod. So he’d gotten a photo of the kiss. Excellent. Those Robin reflexes at work.

Tim got extra excited when Jason revealed the baby yoda costume. The coat looked perfect and the ears were a knitted hat. Not an aim at realism, but cuteness. Babies looked so cute in knitted clothes.

They ran through the photos for this one fairly quickly. Tim immediately knew what pics he wanted, and Jason already had all the props. Sleeping, eating, naughtiness, using the force. For one of them, Dick stood on one hand in a way that made it look like Damian was lifting him into the air and Dick was grasping to stay on the ground. A stellar set of photos.

Dick raised an eyebrow at the very familiar red next costume. He really should have expected it, but he somehow hadn’t. If they hadn’t already found out that Jason had these costumes custom-made, Dick would have wondered where Jason had gotten an Arsenal costume.

Jason took out his phone and opened his camera. “I promised Roy I’d send pictures.”

“You realize this will only make Damian want to gut him when he next sees him,” Tim stated drily. “He might even hunt him down.”

“Roy can handle it,” Jason shrugged.

“I’m not so sure he can,” Tim refuted.

From there, the two of them devolved into an argument about risks and rewards, Damian’s past murder attempts, and the effectiveness of arrows. Dick took advantage of the distraction to get Damian again.

“You’re so popular, Dami,” he whispered to the baby. “Everyone wants to see you in their threads.”

Damian gave no answer, instead curling up on Dick’s lap, eyes drooping shut. Dick softened at the sight. Maybe it was time to give Damian a break. This was a lot of excitement and activity for a baby after all.

Chapter Text

Why were bee costumes so cute? Bees themselves weren’t cute, but put a baby into a bee costume and bam- cuteness.

Dick was holding Damian and a flower pillow from Cass’s room as Tim took a few final pictures of the outfit. Jason was digging around a now half empty box for the next outfit. The first box was fully empty now. Only six or seven costumes were left. They should be able to finish before Bruce and Zatanna got back.

This was all really fun. Nice. This was the longest Jason had ever stuck around the Manor without being forced to stay since he came back. No one was fighting. Timmy wasn’t glued to his phone or laptop. Damian was ultra-adorable and so, so cuddly. It was a rare peace and Dick was going to enjoy every second of it. Hopefully, all this family bonding would extend past today, help repair some fractured relationships.

“What’s next, Little Wing,” Dick called over and that Jason didn’t protest the nickname at all further highlighted his brother’s good mood.

“I’m debating between two…” Jason replied. He studied the two costumes in his hands for a few more seconds then shrugged. “Eh, let’s just do this one. We’ll see him in both of them eventually anyways.”

Having had some practice with this now, Dick quickly, gently, took off the bee costume then passed Damian into Jason’s outstretched arms. While Jason put on the new costume, Dick folded the bee costume up and put it into the ‘done’ box. They were trying to be more tidy now. The mess had been leaking into their photos.

When Dick looked up again, Jason was pulling a hat onto Damian’s head. The hat looked like a swirl of whipped cream with a green straw poking out of it.

“Coffee?” Dick observed, raising an eyebrow. A specific type of coffee too. The clothing part of the outfit was a simple white onesie that had those little checkboxes coffee had (decaf, syrup, milk, etc) down the front. There was also a very familiar gold velcro sash with the logo of one of Tim’s favorite coffee brands that went around Damian’s upper body like a cup sleeve. How could Damian make coffee of all things so cute? Ugh, he was such a natural cutie. Anything he came in contact with became cuter from his presence alone.

“Yep,” Jason grinned, gaze sliding from Damian to Tim. “Now, Timmy, come over here and look at him like you want to drink him alive for the pics.”

“What?! No,” Tim rejected with a scowl.

“Oh come on, Timbo,” Jason wheedled, rolling his eyes. “It’s not like we’re exposing anything here. Everyone already knows you have a problem. It’ll be funny.”

“It’s not a problem,” Tim denied. “I’m fine. Maybe I drink a little more than the average person, but I’m busier than the average person. I need my coffee. It doesn’t hurt me.”

“Science disagrees,” Jason chirped.

Tim’s glare was withering.

“C’mon, you’re wasting precious time,” Jason urged. “You can’t not.”

“I can not, actually,” Tim sniffed. “Why should I let you make fun of me? I don’t think I even can fake a look like that.”

“Just imagine he’s the real deal,” Jason shrugged.

“Dick,” Tim pleaded, turning to his eldest brother for support. “are you going to let him bully me into this?”

“It’ll be so cute, Tim!” Dick exclaimed excitedly. He couldn’t believe he’d never known Jason had such vision. “Give me the camera, I’ll take the pictures for you.”

“Oh my god, Dick,” Tim groaned. “you’re useless.”

“Order for Timmy,” Jason joked, plopping Damian into Tim’s lap. Dick plucked the camera away.

Tim let out a long sigh but made no attempt to remove Damian or take the camera back. Damian tilted his head, and the rest of his body, back to stare up at Tim with wide eyes. A small smile slipped onto Tim’s face though he wiped it off quickly. “Fine,” Tim sighed. “We can do a few pictures.”

Dick grinned and shuffled into a better position. His pictures probably wouldn’t be as good as Tim’s, but they’d suffice.

The first couple were normal, but the next few were supposed to be Tim giving ‘the look’ and…

“Good grief, Tim, what kind of look is that?” Jason criticized. “You look like you’re trying to activate your non-existent laser eyes. You’re supposed to be looking at him like he’s your version of ambrosia. Drool should be pouring down your face.”

“I told you I can’t just do that look,” Tim grumbled.

“I’ve seen you pretend to be fascinated by stuffy, obnoxious businesspeople conversation for hours straight at galas,” Jason reminded him. “I know you can act.”

“That’s a very different thing,” Tim argued, shaking his head in frustration. “Why don’t you just take the rest of the pictures with him?”

“What? Why would I do that,” Jason scoffed. “It wouldn’t make sense. I don’t even like coffee. Stop trying to weasel out of this.”

Tim stiffened, eyes going huge. “Wait, you don’t like coffee?!”

Jason shrugged. “I’m more of a tea guy.”

“How can you not like coffee?!” Tim stuttered.

“I don’t know,” Jason shrugged again. “I just never have. When I was a kid, I snuck a sip of Bruce’s coffee, and it was awful.” His face scrunched up at the memory. “Never liked it since.”

“You can’t base your opinion or something like that!” Tim protested. “Maybe Bruce’s coffee was just weird. For all you know, he could have been barely awake and drinking it black.”

“He might have spiked it with something weird,” Dick suggested, he wouldn’t put it past Bruce. “Because I know you weren’t allowed to drink it. He was stricter with that stuff back then.”

“What?” Jason startled. “No, no way. He couldn’t have known I was going to drink it.”

“Did he just leave it out after you pestered him about it for days on end?” Dick asked. He didn’t know if Bruce had done it or not, but he believed Bruce could have done such a thing to his mischievous son.

There was no confidence in Jason’s words as he answered, “I don’t… think so. This didn’t exactly happen just yesterday. I don’t remember it that well.”

“Wait, you guys weren’t allowed to have coffee?” Tim gasped, as if they’d admitted to some kind of horrible abuse.

Jason rolled his eyes. “He goes so easy on you squirts. I never would have gotten away with half of the stuff you and the gremlin do. It’s ridiculous. I don’t know if the old man is getting soft with age or what.”

Yes, Dick was very aware that Bruce had gotten less strict with certain things and more strict with others. The reasons behind that were so complex it would take ages to even try to unravel them. Jason’s death, Bruce’s initial resentment of Tim and then Tim’s late full induction into the family, Damian’s upbringing, and so much other shit and life experiences. Dick would feel flashes of jealousy sometimes over what his little brothers got away with (child Dick would have loved to have a pet and nearly unfettered access to coffee and energy drinks), but it usually passed quickly.

It took another six minutes of attempts before Jason was satisfied with Tim’s performance and ready to move on to the next costume.

As Dick handed the camera back to Tim, Jason pulled out a new bright yellow outfit. At first, Dick thought it was Pikachu but then his brain registered the ears were wrong and the cheeks were pink, not red. It was the little one, Pichu. Dick wasn’t that into Pokemon, he’d played it back when he was a kid, but he remembered that much. It was a cute outfit. The material was very plush, not just a thin piece of cloth. It was basically a onesie with a little black tail and a hood that had the ears, eyes, and cheeks of Pichu. Very cute, the thick material made Damian look like a plushie.

“Why didn’t you do Pikachu?” Tim questioned, squishing the ear of the costume. “He’s way more iconic than Pichu.”

Jason frowned. “But this is the baby one, right? And Damian’s a baby.”

“Well, yeah,” Tim confirmed, moving his hand back to his camera. “But Pikachu’s still more iconic. And you can hatch a Pikachu from an egg, they don’t necessarily start as Pichus.”

“What?” Jason said, eyebrows furrowing. “How does that work? Does the Pikachu somehow hatch late and it grows in the egg?”

“Baby Pokemon are weird,” Tim shrugged. “And Pichu’s a friendship evolution, so that can’t be done from inside the egg. These are magical creatures who evolve rapidly in a matter of seconds when the right conditions are met, it doesn’t have to make real sense.”

As Tim and Jason continued their conversation, Dick turned his attention to the remaining costumes, trying to guess what else might be left. Definitely a Green Lantern, Jason wouldn’t pass up that opportunity. Flash too probably. Maybe Martian Manhunter, but Jason had never been very close with that league member. For all Jason’s complaining and denial, a Batman costume had to be in there, his little brother wouldn’t-

Wait.

The realization caused his spine to straighten. They hadn’t done a Red Hood costume yet. How? Why? Jason must have one. But then why hadn’t it been one of the first costumes they’d done? Dick had leapt to see his baby brother in his vigilante threads. Was Jason saving it for the grand finale? That was crazy levels of patience. Dick wouldn’t have been able to wait that long for the Nightwing costume.

Dick scooched over to the costume box and dug through its contents. At the bottom of the box, Dick found it- a mini Red Hood outfit. It was the older version of the suit, probably the one Hood had been using at the time he commissioned the costume. It was a very accurate mini recreation minus the full helmet, instead replacing it with a red hood, and the holsters lacked guns. Everything else was there, from the little brown leather jacket to the tiny combat boots. It was so cute. Dick needed a picture of Jason holding Damian in this costume ASAP.

“Let’s do this one next,” Dick announced, triumphantly holding up the costume. Tim’s eyes lit up at the sight of the tiny Red Hood costume. Jason’s expression was oddly blank.”

“We’re almost done with the Pichu shots,” Tim told him. “I just want one where it looks like he’s riding on your shoulder. Jay, you help hold Damian up out of frame.”

“Alright,” Dick chirped, hopping over to them, taking the Red Hood costume with him. He placed the costume off to the side as Jason got Damian into position. This would be a cute pic, but the Red Hood ones would be better. An allusive Jason photo, a top tier one at that, and an adorable Damian photo all in one.

After Tim had taken the desired pictures, Jason lowered Damian into his lap, but made no move to start switching costumes.

Dick frowned. Why was Jason not racing to put on the costume? “Something wrong? Is Damian upset?” The baby didn’t look upset to Dick, but Jason clearly knew more about this stuff than he did.

“No,” Jason said curtly. “I’m just not rushing him. Jeez, Dick, you’re so impatient.”

Jason finally began to change the costume, but there was no eagerness behind his movements. Why wasn’t he excited? Did he not like the outfit? But it was perfect! Did he maybe wish it was his current suit? That wasn’t a big deal, Jason’s suit hadn’t changed that much, it was still clearly him.

“He’s so cute!” Dick cooed as Jason pulled on the final tiny combat boot.

Jason rolled his eyes. “He’s a baby. He’d look cute in anything.” On his lap, Damian was making grabby hands at the red bat symbol, eyes wide with adorable curiosity. A smile finally cracked Jason’s face. “Glad to be in something stylish for once, huh, Dami?”

Ah. Damian wasn’t the problem. The costume wasn’t the problem either. It was Jason’s worryingly low self-esteem that was the problem. With all the false bravado, the seemingly cocky confidence, the stubbornness, the willingness to argue, it was easy to forget that Jason was near cripplingly insecure. The reason Jason hadn’t been rushing to see Damian in his own suit was because Jason didn’t like himself that much. The realization was depressing.

“We’re all pretty dang stylish, Jaybird,” Dick asserted. As much as he wanted to reassure Jason that he was amazing, he knew now wasn’t the time to get emotional about this. Dick could weave it in more naturally over time for now. “Name a better dressed hero family. You can’t. The Supers- very iconic, well-designed, but they don’t change things up much.” Because they had powers and didn’t have to worry much, if at all, about their equipment, they rarely had a reason to change their suits. “Neither do the Arrows. The Flashes, very good actually, they’re probably second place, but they can’t compete with our variety.”

Jason mulled this over for a few seconds then said, “I guess.” He side-eyed Dick and added. “Some people really drag down the average sometimes.”

“Yeah,” Dick reminisced, ignoring Jason’s intended implication. “remember when Bruce had that zebra suit?”

“What?” Tim startled. “Zebra suit?”

“Yeah, it was white with black stripes,” Dick recalled, nose scrunching in disgust. “It was so awful.”

“Wait! I do remember hearing about that!” Tim exclaimed. “But I never saw it myself, so I thought people were making it up.”

“In Bruce’s defense,” Jason pipped up drily, “he wasn’t in that suit willingly. That was Zebra Man’s fault for messing with it. Bruce only wore it for, like, three days until he could get a replacement.”

“People still saw it,” Dick grinned. The rumors that had been thrown around back then had been both fascinating and hilarious.

“Zebra Man?” Tim repeated, eyebrows knitting together.

“We get some really weird villains,” Jason sighed. “Wonder Woman doesn’t have to deal with that shit.”

“Yeah,” Dick and Tim sighed.

“Enough depressing stuff,” Dick declared. “Let’s get these pictures.”

The photos came out super cute. Dick’s favorite was one that had Damian on Jason’s lap with Damian hugging one of Tim’s Nightwing plushies. Jason looked vaguely exasperated, but also amused. Perfection. Utter perfection. Dick was sad to see the costume go, but they were really getting down to the wire. They had to keep going.

They did the Flash and Green Lantern ones next. Wally was going to love the Flash ones. The Green Lantern ring was a plush bracelet rather than a ring (that would have been such a small ring and a serious choking hazard) but was otherwise accurate to the real deal. They had Damian hug one of Dick’s Batman plushies for that one. Now Dick wished they’d used the Batman plushie in some of their previous pics, but it was too late to go back. Oh well, what they already had was still amazing.

The gargoyle costume was very impressive. Jason must have dropped a lot of money on it. The material looked very rock-like, even the hood. It was a lot cuter than the average gargoyle design. More like how a kid’s cartoon would make a gargoyle look. Despite not looking soft, it was very cute, and all the Bats had a certain fondness for gargoyles, Dick included.

Next was a bat. Not Batman, just a bat. The wings folded out from the arms and attached to the body. It was a lot simpler than many of the other costumes, but undeniably cute.

“Aw, Dami,” Dick sang, scooping Damian up for cuddles. “What a cute baby bat you are!” He nuzzled the top of his widdle head. “Yes you are, yes you are!”

“Bats get an unfair amount of hate,” Jason commented. “Some of them are downright cute and the less cute ones aren’t horrifying or anything.”

“I think it’s the noses some species have that weird people out,” Tim said. “We have myotis and American brown bats in the cave. They have more ‘normal’ looking animal noses.”

Jason shot Tim an annoyed look, the first genuinely negative vibe he’d tossed at the kid all day. “I don’t need to be lectured about what bats are in the cave, Replacement. I was in there naming them long before you ever stepped foot in the cave.” Tim wilted at the older boy’s jab, but thankfully Jason decided not to harp on it. “But even the ones with the weirder noses aren’t scary. Yeah, I wouldn’t want one flying into my face, but I wouldn’t want a kitten to the face either, it’s not a good parameter to judge on.”

“I like the cave bats,” Dick agreed. “I do understand why Bruce was scared of them as a kid though, especially with the cave being dark. I like Califorian leaf-nosed bats, we had those in Jump. Their ears are cute.” One time, he’d found one of the bats with a broken wing and he’d brought it back to Titans Tower to help it recover. He’d named it Bunny, because of the ears. His teammates had teased him quite a bit for bringing a bat home.

Jason and Tim both nodded in agreement, not having to ask about or search up the species. They both knew it, even if they hadn’t seen it in real life. All the Robins had gone through their bat research phase. They knew their stuff.

“Okay,” Tim said, turning his attention back to Damian. “We can’t hang him upside down, but there is other stuff we can do. Dick, we’ll start with some shots with you.”

"Sure thing,” Dick nodded eagerly, petting Damian’s head with one finger.

Just two left.

Tim stared into the near empty costume box, silently debating. He glanced at his phone screen, hummed thoughtfully, then grabbed out one of the costumes. Dick literally squealed (earning him a scoff from Jason) when he saw what it was. An elephant! So cute!

When Tim handed Dick the costume, Dick eagerly swapped the costumes out. The elephant was very plush. The hood had big ears and a plush upturned trunk. It was so cute. This was the best animal one.

Dick lay on the floor and placed Damian on his stomach. He was so light! As Damian began to crawl up towards Dick’s head it reminded Dick of being stomped on by one of Selena’s kittens. Tim started snapping pictures. When Damian reached Dick’s head, the baby started patting at Dick’s lower face. Dick’s heart felt ready to burst and he smiled widely.

The next few poses flew by and Dick hoarded Damian the whole time. They were almost at the end, he wanted to savor every second of it. He was cuddling Damian to his chest when Bruce walked through the door. Zatanna was a few steps behind him.

For a moment, everyone froze. Bruce gazed at the scene before him and Dick could see the analysis mode kicking in. Bruce slowly scanned the room, lingering longer on Jason before landing on Damian. “Boys,” he started, voice purposefully even. “What are- how did you-?”

“Look how cute he is Bruce!” Dick exclaimed gleefully, giving Damian a gentle squeeze.

“How did you get all these outfits?” Bruce questioned, eyes on the costumes instead of his adorable infant son because Bruce’s priorities were so screwed sometimes.

“Jason brought them,” Tim told him, fiddling with his camera.

Bruce turned to look at Jason who glared challengingly back. Bruce retreated to looking down at Damian again.

Finally, Bruce looked past the costume to Damian himself, in all his adorable glory. Bruce’s eyes softened and he went to crouch in front of Dick. “Hello Damian,” he greeted tenderly. “I see your brothers have been keeping themselves entertained.”

“Timmy, give me your camera,” Dick ordered. “We have to show him!” Dick passed Damian to Jason while he and Tim started gushing over their photos.

Bruce’s smile was gooey as they scrolled through the hundreds of photos. Dick didn’t know how Bruce would’ve handled raising a child from infanthood, but he would have tried his best. Better than Talia for sure and he would have had Dick and Alfred to help him. It was too late for all that now though. At least they’d gotten this glimpse.

“Hold your damn kid, Bruce,” Jason huffed, suddenly beside them and shoving Damian into Bruce’s arms. Jason had changed Damian’s costume while the rest of them were looking through the photos. Damian was now wearing a baby Batman costume with an oversized cape.

Bruce blinked down at the baby, shifting so he was holding him with one arm. He used his now free hand to brush a finger against Damian’s chubby cheek. Damian gurgled happily and tried to grab at the finger, his tiny hand barely able to wrap around the single finger. Dick could faint from cuteness.

Dick was aware of Zatanna hovering in the background, and he was grateful that she hadn’t stepped in just yet. As cute as this version of Damian was, pre-teen Damian was cute too and Dick loved that kid. But for this short time, he wanted to enjoy this while they had it. He’d let Bruce hold Damian for what time they had left though. Dick had been hoarding him for most of the shoot and he could cuddle Damian again when he was older. Emotionally constipated Bruce (and Damian too sadly) would struggle with hugs once Damian was fixed. But for now, this was perfect.