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Chapter Text

(Link has started Champion's Hangout)

(Mipha has joined the chat)

(Daruk has joined the chat)

(Urbosa has joined the chat)

(Revali has joined the chat)

Link: Um... hey everyone

Mipha: Heyy

Revali: 'Sup

Daruk: Hey, the little guy talks!

Revali: Really? I didn't notice that

Urbosa: Sav'saaba. Hmm... what's this place for?

Daruk: I think it's one of the Sheikah Tablet's newer features

Link: Pretty sweet, right?

Daruk: Nice addition I'll say

Mipha: I like it ^-^

Urbosa: Splendid idea

Revali: Does this mean I have to listen to all y'alls yapping :/

Daruk: Way to make an entrance dude...

Revali: I'll take that as a yes

Mipha: But... Link doesn't talk much

Urbosa: You've been pretty quiet these days Link

Revali: Spill the beans man, any juicy secrets?

Link: Well... I can't right now...

Daruk: What's wrong little guy?

Link: I... think I'm gonna... die...

Mipha: LINK! ARE YOU HURT?!

Link: No... just bruised all over...

Urbosa: Mipha, calm down sweetie. Link, where are you?

Link: I'm hiding inside a box

Revali: Oh, so now your chicken, eh?

Link: No... that's what's attacking me

Daruk: Little dude being chased by cuccos again?

Mipha: Cuccos?

Revali: OH FOR THE LOVE OF-

Urbosa: Chill out Revali, please

Revali: Mipha, you ever stepped outside of Sealife?

Mipha: ... I, um...

Urbosa: Stop this instant!

Revali: Says wh-

Link: THEY'RE TEARING THE BOX APART

Daruk: Geez, what did you do this time?

Link: All I wanted was an egg for breakfast...

Daruk: Sigh

Mipha: Where are you hiding Link?

Link: ...Kakariko Village... any help?

Urbosa: Too far for me, besides I have duties here as well

Daruk: Yeah, way too far, sorry bud

Revali: Nah, I'm fine with him dying

Mipha: ...Maybe... I can help...

Revali: Of course you would! Your boyfriend needs you!

Mipha: He's not my boyfriend!!! >:(

Revali: Sureeee :D

Link: OH FOR HYLIA'S SAKE, ONE GOT IN HERE

(Link has lost connection)

Mipha: LINK!!!

(Mipha has gone offline)

Revali: Those two... are made for each other ;)

Daruk: Then why won't Link pull the move on her?

Urbosa: Well, because he's Link

Revali: I know why, he's chicken XD

Urbosa: Revalia... you're... just...

Revali: Charming, I know right?

Daruk: On many levels dude

(Link is back online)

(Mipha is back online)

Revali: So princess, did you save your handsome prince?

Mipha: ...

Link: ...

Revali: Well, go on ;)

Link: Um, how do I put this...

Mipha: Were both... hiding in a box from cuccos now...

Revali: WOW GREAT JOB NERDS

Urbosa: Pipe your beak bird boy

Revali: Excuse me?

Link: You heard her XD

Mipha: Um Link... were pretty squished in here... it's pretty hot too...

Revali: Why? Because your so close to your man :p

Link: ...

Daruk: This is too good XD

Mipha: No... it's just hot and I don't have enough air in here...

Revali: Because he takes your breath away right?

Link: O-O

Mipha: No! I... we... I'm sorry Link!

(Mipha has gone offline)

Link: I'll see you guys later... I'm gonna help Mipha out of here...

Revali: We know sweetheart, we know

Link: ...

(Link has gone offline)

Revali: My work here is done

Daruk: Priceless

Revali: Thank you my good sir

Urbosa: Sigh... men...

(Urbosa has left the chat)

(Revali has left the chat)

(Daruk has left the chat)

Chapter Text

(Link is back online)

Link: Hi guys!

(Mipha is back online)

Mipha: Heyy Link!

Link: How are you? :D

Mipha: I'm doing good! Playing with Sidon right now, he's so adorable!

Link: Hey, well my training ended early... how about I come on over?

Mipha: Oh yes! We could use another person for water tag!

Link: Don't tell Sidon, let it be a surprise

Mipha: ^^

(Revali is back online)

(Daruk is back online)

Revali: Hmm... planning on making out, eh?

Mipha: W-What?

Link: Revali... don't be ridiculous...

Revali: Mhmm

Daruk: C'mon Rev, don't pressure them

Revali: You're right, they'd probably do it the first chance they get

Link: STOP IT

Mipha: ...please Revali...

Link: Were both just friends anyway

Mipha: Wait... friends?...

Revali: More like friends with benefits ;)

Link: NO it's not like that! >:(

Mipha: ...

Revali: Sure, sure whatever

Daruk: Sorry he's like this guys

Link: It's expected from his cucco head

Revali: What did you just call me Hylian?!

Daruk: XD

(Urbosa is back online)

Urbosa: What have I walked into

Link: Welcome to my world

Urbosa: I see... Revali, act like a warrior instead of a snotty brat

Revali: HEY!!!

Urbosa: Phh... what about you Mipha ^^

Mipha: I'm... doing fine...

Revali: She's sad Linky-Winky called her a friend :3

Mipha: Wait no! I... mean... um...

(Mipha has gone offline)

Revali: I have proved my point

Link: If you don't stop, I'm gonna reach through this tablet and pluck every feather from you

Revali: Funny, but you can't keep up to me though :p

Link: Any help on that Urbosa?

Urbosa: Of course. A good lightning bolt connecting to his bird brain should help

Revali: Hey no! That's not fair!

Urbosa: News disclaimer: It is in my world

Revali: Daruk, any help?!

Daruk: Sorry dude, you were pretty rude back there

Urbosa: Heheh, you ready then Link?

Link: Wait... hold up...

Urbosa: What's wrong?

Link: I promised Mipha that I'd go see her and Sidon...

Urbosa: Well, go on ahead in that case... you got lucky this time Revali...

Revali: Lucky is my middle name :D

Daruk: Ugh, cringe...

(Mipha is back online)

Mipha: Um... hey Link, are you still coming?

Link: Sure! I wouldn't change my mind!

Mipha: ^-^

Urbosa: He had to give up Revali to see you two

Mipha: Really? <3

Daruk: He's a great little guy

Revali: HE LOVES YOU!

Link: Revali, I didn't-

Revali: HE WANTS YOU! /(^-^)/

Link: Stop it!

Revali: YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO MARRY HER!

Link: NO!!!!

(Link has left the chat)

Mipha: ...

Daruk: Whoa... did he just leave his own group chat?

Urbosa: Revali, I will fry you for that

Revali: Aww come on, that was gold!

Daruk: You hurt his feelings dude

Mipha: You... um, really did...

Revali: But you know they're true Mipha

Mipha: ... I... um...

Urbosa: You better stop while you can you over-sized poultry

Revali: You aren't the boss here

Urbosa: Oh really?

(Urbosa kicked Revali from Champions Hangout)

Mipha: O-O

Daruk: Haha! Way to go!

Mipha: I didn't know you could actually do that...

Urbosa: I played around with my Sheikah Slate yesterday and discovered some means of power

Daruk: Couldn't Link impose his own rules?

Urbosa: He could've but luckily he's a little ignorant of the abilities 

Mipha: You think that was the right thing to do?

Urbosa: Revali will get over it ;)

Daruk: He deserves it anyway XD

Urbosa: Right?

Mipha: Hey, Link's here! I'll see you guys later! :D

Urbosa: Take care sweetie! It's about time I go as well

Daruk: I have some duties here to attend too. See ya!

(Mipha has gone offline)

(Daruk has gone offline)

(Urbosa has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Mipha is back online)

Mipha: Um... hey guys.... Hello?

(Daruk is back online)

(Revali is back online)

(Urbosa is back online)

Urbosa: Hey there sweetie!

Mipha: Hey Urbosa! :D

Urbosa: How are you doing girl?

Mipha: Oh, it's pretty busy here

Revali: You've been busy with Link eh?

Mipha: What! No... please stop saying that...

Revali: Denying the truth?

Urbosa: REVALI! I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN!

Revali: Good luck with that bosa gal

Urbosa: You take that back!!

Daruk: Guys, let's chill. Today's supposed to be training day.

Mipha: Yeah, he's right

Daruk: Thank you. Didn't we all agree to train "together" today?

Urbosa: Yes, I haven't forgotten

Revali: Ugh fine... and just when things were getting good

Urbosa: Mmmmm...

Mipha: Wait, everyone's here but Link 

Urbosa: Oh wait, you're right actually

Daruk: Where could the little guy be?

Revali: Eh, most likely died. That'd be awesome

Mipha: That's not very nice Revali..

Revali: Uhh... I keep telling you guys about this... Zora...

Daruk: No one is interested Rev

Urbosa: Hmm... Link has very quiet and distant lately

Daruk: Yeah, ever since he was appointed as the Princess's knight

Urbosa: It must be a lot of stress and pressure on the boy

Revali: Phh, I could've handled it easily

Urbosa: OF COURSE you could >->

Mipha: He barely talks to me now... he looks depressed :(

Daruk: I'm sure he'll get over it

Revali: Well when's he coming?! I want to get this training over with!

Mipha: Actually... I think he's...

Urbosa: Of course! He left the chat last time

Revali: I remember, that was a good day ^-^

Urbosa: Mark my words, one day I will..

Mipha: Wait... I think I have his contact saved

(Mipha added Link back to Champions Hangout)

Mipha: Yay! There we go! :)

Revali: Can't wait till they add a permanently remove option 

(Link is back online)

Daruk: Welcome back little guy!

Link: .....

Urbosa: Come on Link, you've been very quiet with us lately

Mipha: Is something bothering you?

Link: I... um...

Revali: SPILL IT OUT!

Link: ....

Daruk: Don't pressure him dude

Link: I well... got chosen to be the bearer of the.. Sword that Seals the Darkness 

Mipha: O.O

Revali: Wait WHAT?

Urbosa: Are you actually serious Link?

Link: ...yeah...

Daruk: Way to go little dude!

Mipha: I'm very happy for you Link ^^

Urbosa: What does that mean then?

Revali: I'd like to know that myself

Link: Well... it means I'm tasked with attacking Ganon head on 

Mipha: Oh... which means...

Link: Hyrule's safety is in my hands

Daruk: Gee, that sounds stressful

Link: It um... really is... it hurts my head often 

Revali: Well something good came out of this

Urbosa: REVALI ZIP IT!

Revali: :/

Mipha: Link... maybe you want to come on over to help cool down?

Link: I'd love to but my training is in even more demand now

Mipha: Oh, I see...

Revali: Disappointed Mipha Wipha?

Mipha: ......

Daruk: Look, let's not get distracted here, remember our training?

Urboss: Of course. I'm assuming were at our Divine Beasts?

Mipha: Yes I'm here

Revali: Hold up, what about Link? He takes it easy?

Link: I have to accompany the Princess on a visit to some spring

Revali: Hmm... fair enough I guess

Daruk: Okay, so let's begin with controlling our machines. You all got the hang of the controls yet?

Urbosa: Naboris's controls are a bit hard but manageable 

Revali: I have no clue about this flying chicken 

Urbosa: -_- 

Mipha: I don't need controls... Ruta responds to my voice

Daruk: Impressive!

Urbosa: You go girl!

Mipha: ^-^

Revali: Hmph.....

Daruk: Alright, and how are the defensive systems?

Urbosa: Tip top if I do say so myself

Mipha: Not a problem with Ruta

Revali: Ehh... is it supposed to be that red-looking shield thingy?

Daruk: So chicken leg failed that one...

Revali: HEY!! I have better things to do!

Urbosa: Like what? 

Link: Let's hear this

Revali: Well um... I like to...

Urbosa: Mhm?

Revali: Oh well won't you look at the time, I guess training is over!

(Revali has gone offline)

Urbosa: What a lazy bum.

Daruk: I guess that's Revali

Link: Totally accurate 

Urbosa: Well I'll see you all then, I have more work to do with Naboris

Daruk: Same, me and Rudania still have some training left. See ya!

(Daruk has gone offline)

(Urbosa has gone offline)

Mipha: Um Link?

Link: Yes Mipha?

Mipha: Do visit us whenever you can... it gets a little lonely here...

Link: Of course I'll drop by in my spare time!

Mipha: :)

Link: (^-^)

Mipha: I'll have to go then, take care of yourself Link!

Link: I will, and you too!

(Link has gone offline)

(Mipha has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Link is back online)

Link: Are any of you dudes online?

(Daruk is back online)

(Revali is back online)

Link: Thank Hylia... I need help

Daruk: Sure! What's up little guy?

Link: Hold up, I want this to be private

(Link has changed chat settings)

Revali: What'd you do now?

Link: The girls can't see our messages 

Daruk: You can actually do that?

Link: Yep, had some free time yesterday and did some playing around 

Revali: So what are you hiding then

Daruk: You actually got Urbosa mad?

Link: I... um... I...

Revali: SPILL IT

Link: Okay... so I... I like Mipha!!!!

Revali: -_-

Daruk: We already kinda knew that

Revali: I KNEW IT!

Link: Wait... you did?

Daruk: Link Link Link...

Revali: You're pathetically stupid

Daruk: Not that, you're just too oblivious 

Link: I am...?

Revali: Every damn time 

Daruk: Dude chill, this is a bro moment

Revali: Phhhh...

Link: Does she... like me?

Revali: Beats me -_-

Daruk: I think she does

Revali: She wants you Link

Link: Um...

Revali: Craves to be with you

Daruk: Okay, that's enough 

Revali: ;)

Link: But it feels weird though

Revali: Because she's a fish?

Link: No... Zelda... I think she likes me too

Revali: WHOA WHOA WHOA 

Daruk: Are you sure?

Link: Trust me, I'm positive she does

Revali: Dang Link, the Princess too?!

Daruk: Well do you like her?

Link: No... I mean, I like her but as a friend

Revali: Ouch, friendzoned XD

Link: I've never felt a romantic attraction to her... it feels weird

Revali: Mhm.

Link: No seriously

Revali: Sure buddy, whatever you say ;)

Link: :/

Daruk: Since when did you like Mipha?

Link: Pretty much when I first saw her... she's very cute

Revali: OOOOOH Link's getting serious 

Link: >->

Revali: When's the baby coming? Wait... can you...

Link: FOR ONCE IN YOUR SORRY LIFE SHUT UP

Daruk: Whoa... okay...

Revali: Hmm... that's more like it

Daruk: So... what help do you need then

Link: How do I work myself up to her?

Daruk: Well um, she's already into you Link, nothing much to do really

Revali: Simply go to her, french kiss, then make out

Link: .....

Daruk: Revali, were not there yet 

Revali: Why? It always works

Daruk: I don't know what to say Link... not an expert on those things

Revali: Who you date anyway? Rock sculptures?

Daruk: No... unlike you who couldn't even date a Moblin

Revali: Hey! I'm more charming than that!

Daruk: Keyword being "charming"

Link: Um weren't you guys supposed to help me?

Revali: Naw, you're sad enough already

Daruk: Ignore him Link... just be subtle with her

Link: Like flowers or a picnic together?

Revali: Or a smack to the face?

Link: ...

Daruk: Just be yourself

Link: I see... thanks for the help guys

Daruk: No problem!

Revali: Yeah whatever, I got more important things to do

(Revali has gone offline)

Daruk: Geez... I'll see you later then Link

Link: See ya big guy!

(Daruk has gone offline)

Link: Wait... hold up

(Link has changed chat settings)

Link: There you go

(Link has gone offline)

(Mipha is back online)

(Urbosa is back online)

Mipha: Um, what's going on?

Urbosa: Weird. The men were online and were typing but I couldn't see the messages

Mipha: You think they did something to the settings?

Urbosa: Hmm... something fishy is going on here

Mipha: Well, no one's online... I'll just go back to practice with Ruta...

Urbosa: Alright take care!

(Mipha has gone offline)

(Urbosa has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Urbosa is back online)

(Mipha is back online)

Urbosa: Hey Mipha! How are you?

Mipha: I'm doing really good! I had an amazing day yesterday! :D

Urbosa: Happy to hear that ^^

Mipha: How are you also fairing?

Urbosa: Well, not too bad actually. I got the hang of Naboris now. She's a clever girl

Mipha: Aww, we should meet up sometime!

Urbosa: We really should!

(Link is back online)

(Revali is back online)

(Daruk is back online)

Link: Hey guys

Urbosa: Sav'saaba

Mipha: Hi Link!

Link: Hey Mipha ^^

Mipha: I wanted to thank you again for taking me on a picnic yesterday

Link: Of course! I had a great time!

Mipha: \(^-^)/

Revali: Ahh... I see what you did there Link

Daruk: So you've actually done it ;)

Mipha: ?

Link: -_-

Urbosa: You know, this chat could use some more diversity, more girls.

Revali: Mmm, what do you mean?

(Urbosa added Zelda to Champions Hangout)

Link: ???

Daruk: O-O

Revali: WHOA WHOA HOLD UP

(Zelda is online)

Mipha: Welcome Princess! :D

Urbosa: Greetings!!

Zelda: Ooh hi everyone!!!

Link: ...

Daruk: Um hi princess...

Revali: Damn.

Urbosa: So, how are you doing Zelda?

Zelda: I'm studying up on Sheikah history!

Revali: MMM... this one's energetic

Zelda: What?

Urbosa: Obviously, Revali here is talking about his imaginary girlfriend 

Revali: I AM NOT! In fact, I do have one!

Daruk: Really? That's news

Mipha: Aww, how sweet! Who is she? <3

Revali: She um, is very shy... doesn't like attention...

Urbosa: Unlike you

Revali: :/

Zelda: Ooh yay! Link's here too!

Link: .....

Daruk: C'mon little guy, say hi

Revali: I'm sure she doesn't bite ;)

Link: ...uh, hi Zelda...

Zelda: He talks!!! :D

Urbosa: Amazing, isn't it?

Revali: Ehh, I like how he was before actually 

Mipha: Revali...

Zelda: Oh, by the way Link, I'm going frog searching tomorrow and requested to father that you tag along :)

Link: Um... but...

Mipha: Wait, Link? Weren't you gonna come to Sidon's birthday tomorrow?

Link: I still plan on coming

Zelda: Wait, who again?

Mipha: Sidon, my little brother. It's his birthday tomorrow and he was really excited for Link to come.

Link: By the way Mipha, I got his present 

Mipha: Splendid!

Zelda: I see but, my father really needed some hot footed frogs for an elixir.

Urbosa: Zelda, why don't you join Link to the birthday party?

Daruk: I'm sure you'll find frogs there too

Zelda: I don't know... it's a pretty tiresome trek

Revali: Glad someone agrees with me

Zelda: Link, this is actually very important 

Mipha: But... this is a special event here too...

Zelda: No one cares about a child's birthday!

Mipha: I......

Link: EXCUSE ME PRINCESS?

Revali: >.>

Zelda: What Link?

Link: NO ONE cares about your frog trip 

Daruk: Um...

Urbosa: Link, calm down

Revali: This is getting good! :D

Zelda: Excuse me, but do you know who you're talking to?

Mipha: Link please... it's okay...

Link: Sidon is like a little brother, I'm going to his birthday, okay?

Zelda: Link... this is an order from my father

(Link kicked Zelda from Champions Hangout)

Mipha: O.O

Revali: Haha that's my Link!!!

Daruk: Yikes...

Urbosa: Link! How dare you?!

Link: No one cares.

Revali: I'm actually starting to like him 

Mipha: You didn't have to do that... it would've been fine

Link: No way, I wouldn't miss Sidon's birthday for the world

Mipha: Awwww, that's so sweet!

Revali: Look at them lovebirds

Daruk: Yep!

Mipha: Um...

Link: Well I uh, I gotta go now... might be in trouble 

Mipha: Okay, take care! ^-^

(Link has gone offline)

Mipha: I'll be going too, I'm gonna help prepare for tomorrow's party

(Mipha has gone offline)

Urbosa: I really don't know how well this is gonna turn out

Revali: What? It was a blast! :D

Urbosa: You... are so... 

Daruk: Welp, I'll be seeing you all then

Urbosa: Yeah, me too

Revali: Sure, whatever.

(Urbosa has gone offline)

(Revali has gone offline)

(Daruk has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Revali is back online)

Revali: Ah, time to have some more fun...

(Daruk is back online)

(Link is back online)

Daruk: Hey guys 

Link: Heya dudes!

Revali: I'm not your dude Hylian.

Link: Um, then what are you?

Revali: ... acquaintance.

Link: Ah, I see.

Daruk: Rude

Revali: So anyway, anything new with you two?

Link: Ehh, Zelda and the King got mad at me for last time... :/

Daruk: Ouch... I kinda saw that coming

Revali: Don't worry, it was all worth it :)

Link: Um yeah, I guess? Sidon's birthday was amazing though. He was so happy to see me!

Revali: Hmph, cute I suppose

Daruk: I'm doing pretty rock solid. Rudania is easy to control now

Link: How are you and Medoh getting along Rev?

Revali: Barely got the hang of the clumsy chicken 

Daruk: -_-

Revali: Anyway, I'm here to play my game I told you about the other night

Daruk: Oh yeah. Where are the girls?

Link: I just wrote to them. Should be here any...

(Urbosa is back online)

(Mipha is back online)

Link: Hi Mipha! Urbosa too ^^

Mipha: Hey Link!

Link: <3

Urbosa: Hey there... so what's this game called?

Revali: Truth or Dare

Urbosa: And you're saying you came up with it?

Revali: Yep!

Urbosa: Funny how I've always played it as a little girl 

Mipha: Me too, I played it all the time with my friends!

Revali: Um...

Urbosa: Only thing not made up here is your ego

Link: Roasted! XD

Revali: HYLIAN I WILL EAT YOU ALIVE!

Mipha: O.O

Link: Yeah, go ahead. Pretty sure I don't taste that good

Daruk: Hahaha!!!

Mipha: ^^

Urbosa: Pretty good one there Link ;)

Revali: Uhhh... can we just play this damn thing?

Urbosa: Alright then, I'll go first. Daruk, Truth or Dare?

Link: Let's do a truth

Urbosa: Okay, what'd you eat for breakfast?

Daruk: Dirt

Link: Whoa... I'm guessing true

Urbosa: True

Revali: True as hell

Mipha: ... um... I don't know... that sounds unsafe

Revali: MMMMMMMMMMMMMM......

Daruk: That's actually true. Dirt really helps digest the rocks!

Mipha: Ewww...

Link: Nice um, knowing that

Daruk: Okay now back at you Urbosa. Truth or Dare?

Revali: Let's do a dare!

Urbosa: Oh no...

Daruk: I dare you to find a guy and smack his butt hard

Urbosa: Are you kidding me?!

Revali: No chickening out! ;3

Urbosa: Uh fine 

Mipha: This is getting pretty intense

Link: Relax! That's the fun part :D

Urbosa: Alright. Smacked some voe that was jogging around my city walls...

Revali: And?

Urbosa: I... might've done it too hard... he looked at me really weird...

Daruk: XD

Revali: Gold!!!

Urbosa: Mipha, Truth or Dare?

Link: Truth!

Revali: Take it easy lad

Link: ...

Urbosa: What was the last thing you did today so far?

Mipha: I worked on a very special Zora armor...

Revali: Ehh... true?

Daruk: True

Link: Armor? True I guess

Urbosa: True

Mipha: Yes... it's actually true

Revali: Who's the armor for?

Mipha: THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS 

Revali: Um......

Daruk: Right, moving along...

Mipha: Sorry... Revali. Truth or dare?

Urbosa: Dare! >:)

Revali: Hey, nothing stupid though

Mipha: I dare you to fly into Gerudo Town and yell out "I'm a handsome voe"

Revali: Did you not hear what I just said?!

Link: Way to go Mipha!

Mipha: I might've had a little help from Urbosa... ^^

Revali: Not doing it.

Urbosa: "Don't be chicken" Ravioli

Revali: Uhhhh... I'll get you back for this

(Revali has gone offline)

Daruk: I wonder if he'll do it?

Urbosa: I'll keep an eye on the town's marketplace in case

Link: Ooh, this has to be the best one so far!

Urbosa: Wait! There's someone flying above... it's Revali!

Daruk: No way!?!?

Urbosa: He just dropped down and hollered "I'm a handsome voe" and all my guards threw their spears at him XD

Daruk: I'm so dead 

Link: Haha!!!

(Revali is back online)

Urbosa: Welcome back! Did you receive a warm welcome?

Revali: A spear just grazed my head

Urbosa: Heheh, we don't take too kindly to men

Revali: Funny. My turn now. Link, Truth or Dare?

Mipha: Dare!

Revali: I dare you to go to Mipha and kiss her full on the lips.

Link: sneheonevedghqbdickdleodbwvsg

Mipha: >.>

Revali: Passionately too

Urbosa: Wow...

Daruk: Brining in the pain

Link: And if I don't?

Mipha: ......

Revali: You have to kiss a Goron X3

Link: AHHHHHHHHH

Daruk: Listen buddy, take my advice and just do it.

Mipha: .......

Revali: Pretty sure she tastes like fish anyway

(Link has gone offline)

Mipha: ....... 

(Mipha has gone offline)

Urbosa: Revali, you're cruel

Revali: What? I'm just helping them lovebirds

Daruk: As if

Urbosa: I wonder how this one will turn out

(Mipha is back online)

Revali: Well?

Mipha: Link...... kissed me!!!!!!!!!

Daruk: Wait really?!

Mipha: He came up behind me out of nowhere while I was playing with Sidon, and gave me a deep kiss then ran off

Urbosa: The boy still surprises me sometimes

Revali: Feels good now, eh? Bet you enjoyed it :p

Mipha: I... um... maybe?

Revali: (-_-)

(Link has left Champions Hangout)

Daruk: Whoa whoa!!

Urbosa: ?

Mipha: ... wha.....

Revali: That's weird 

Daruk: Hey guys, I think he blocked me

Revali: Let me check... yeah, me too

Urbosa: Same?

Mipha: Even......me....... :c

Daruk: Wonder what's wrong with him?

Mipha: M-Maybe he didn't like the fact he kissed me... or even likes me?

(Mipha has left Champions Hangout)

Daruk: .....wow.....

Urbosa: Look what you've done Revali

Revali: Don't look at me! Those two are sickening anyway! They're thirsty for each other but act like total losers!

(Revali has gone offline)

Urbosa: I'm heading off too... this is just crazy

Daruk: Same

(Daruk has gone offline)

(Urbosa has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Revali is back online)

(Daruk is back online)

Daruk: Hey Revali, what's up?

Revali: Your mom

Daruk: .......

Revali: Okay okay, I'm joking. Where are the others?

Daruk: You forgot already what happened last time?

Revali: Hmm... let's see here...

Daruk: >_> 

Revali: Ok yeah! Didn't Link and Mipha leave the group chat?

Daruk: Bingo... and Link blocked all of us.

Revali: Ah, a real tragedy indeed

Daruk: You're cold dude

(Urbosa is back online)

Revali: Yay. Gerudo are back in the house.

Urbosa: Scram fried chicken 

Revali: MHM?

Daruk: -_-

Urbosa: Whatever. Do you know what today is?

Daruk: Is it a holiday or something?

Revali: The day you go home and shut up?

Urbosa: No stupid. It's Valentine's Day

Daruk: Oh, I nearly forgot!

Revali: Phh... that's lame. Still wondering why the hell it's a thing

Urbosa: Come on Revali, what did you give your "sweetheart"

Revali: None of your snotty business!

Daruk: Probably a long poem on his love for himself XD

Urbosa: Not gonna lie, that totally sounds like Mr. Cucco here

Revali: Uhh... I wonder why I even bother with such losers

Urbosa: Revali. We know she's fake.

Revali: No she's not! She's very much real!

Daruk: Sure sure, whatever you say :)

Urbosa: Add her to the group chat then

Revali: I already told you she doesn't like attention 

Urbosa: Tell us her name at least

Revali: Well it's um... it's...

Urbosa: Go on.

Revali: OKAY SO, what are you guys doing for Valentine's Day?

Daruk: Might go hang out with some friends. Not really the romantic type.

Urbosa: I have duties here... not into voes either.

Revali: Dang, you two are sad! Especially you Urbosa :/

Urbosa: At least we don't have an imaginary girlfriend 

Revali: HEY SHE'S NOT IMAGINARY!!!

Daruk: Wait... what about Link and Mipha?

Revali: What about them two?

Daruk: Since it's Valentine's Day, don't you think those two...

Urbosa: I already talked with Mipha. Link didn't visit her since last time...

Daruk: Ouch...

Revali: We all know they like each other though

Urbosa: Link's definitely more oblivious and shy about her feelings towards him

Daruk: Yeah but Mipha is too timid and shy. They only act like childhood friends

Revali: That's what they actually are doofus

Daruk: :/

Urbosa: We can try to get them to spend time together... at least today

Revali: I agree. They're so aggravating that I can't take it anymore

Daruk: How do you propose we do so?

Revali: Well, Mipha did leave the chat... and Link blocked us

Urbosa: I can help with Mipha. I have her contact actually

(Urbosa added Mipha to Champions Hangout)

Revali: Good, we'll see how things unfold

Daruk: Maybe she can help us with Link

Revali: Agreed

(Mipha is back online)

Urbosa: Mipha, sweetie!! Welcome back! :D

Daruk: Glad to have you back!!

Revali: Meh. Hi.

Mipha: H-Hi everyone... sorry for leaving last time

Urbosa: No worries, it's understandable!

Mipha: Also... Happy Valentine's Day to you all...

Daruk: Thanks!

Revali: Yeah, whatever 

Urbosa: So how are you doing Mipha?

Mipha: I'm........ just staying alone at Lover's Pond...

Revali: OOOOH!! I see ya! Waiting for someone special? :3

Mipha: What, no?! The water here is um, refreshing...

Revali: Sureeeeee ;)

Mipha: ......

Urbosa: Have you and Link talked lately?

Mipha: No... he hasn't visited me either...

Daruk: Sorry to hear. Aren't you two like childhood friends though?

Mipha: Y-Yes... we were friends since we were kids... 

Urbosa: Well, didn't something bloom out of your friendship perhaps?

Mipha: Um I uh... no... I'm not sure were friends anymore...

Revali: And here I am thinking today was gonna be boring

Urbosa: Zip it

Mipha: Well he did unblock me the next day after blocking me but he hasn't said anything...

Urbosa: Why don't you add him back here?

Daruk: Yeah! This place is a bit boring sometimes without him!

Mipha: I-I don't know... maybe he doesn't want to see me......

Urbosa: Mipha, that's not true. You two are childhood friends, everything will be alright 

Revali: For the most part >:)

Mipha: ..... Okay...

(Mipha added Link to Champions Hangout)

Mipha: ......

(Link is back online)

Daruk: Hey little guy!

Urbosa: Welcome back Link!

Revali: Mmmmmm...

Mipha: .......

Link: Um... I...

Revali: Yes, go on?

Link: Um, sorry everyone for overreacting last time...

Mipha: ......

Urbosa: It's okay Link ^^

Daruk: Unblocking us would help though XD

Revali: Or just staying out of my life

Link: Oh uh, right. I'll do that right now 

Mipha: ......

Urbosa: Aren't you gonna say hi to Mipha?

Link: .... oh... um, hi Mipha.....

Mipha: H-Hi...

Revali: This is unbelievable. I'm dying here.

Urbosa: Revali Revali Revali...

Daruk: By the way, where are you Link? Maybe we could all hang out since it's Valentine's Day.

Urbosa: That sounds like a splendid idea!

Link: I'm actually about to reach Lover's Pond. I could use some cool water right now

Mipha: ?!?!?!

Urbosa: Um... about that...

Revali: Well well well, and I didn't even have to lift a finger this time

Link: What's the... Mipha?! What are you doing here?

(Link has gone offline)

Daruk: Whoops

Urbosa: Mipha! What's going on there?

Revali: Yes, please let us in on the secrets!

Mipha: His face is all red... he looked pretty surprised 

Daruk: Not surprised myself heheh

Mipha: H-He's walking up to me... he just sat down next to me! He's actually talking with me!

Revali: Chill. You're acting like he just proposed to you

Daruk: XD

Mipha: He just handed me a Silent Princess and kissed me on the cheek!!!!!!

(Mipha has gone offline)

Revali: You know, I take back what I said about the proposal 

Daruk: Well then... that was...

Revali: See? This is why I hate this holiday or whatever it is.

(Zelda has joined Champions Hangout)

Urbosa: Princess?

Revali: WHOA WHOA WAIT! HOW?!

Zelda: Hey everyone! I wan-

(Revali kicked Zelda out of Champions Hangout)

Revali: Hell no.

Daruk: O.O

Urbosa: Revali, you're dead meat now!

Revali: Phhh... I've had enough of babysitting you all

(Revali has gone offline)

Urbosa: I guess I'll check in later on how Mipha and Link are doing?

Daruk: Hey, maybe we can meet up somewhere to make up for today

Urbosa: Sure! I've got some time to kill and they just opened this new place near Hyrule Castle

Daruk: Oh yeah! We can meet there then. I'll see ya!

Urbosa: Alright then

(Urbosa has gone offline)

(Daruk has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Urbosa is back online)

Urbosa: Hmm, seems like I'm here first for once

(Revali is back online)

Revali: Geez, why'd it have to be you?

Urbosa: Becuase you aren't on my level

Revali: Says who?

Urbosa: Your mother

Revali: My mom did not say that!!!

Urbosa: Boohoo, ask her yourself

Revali: Maybe I will

(Revali has gone offline)

Urbosa: I still wonder why he's a Champion

(Revali is back online)

Urbosa: Well?

Revali: Shut up

Urbosa: I thought so ;)

Revali: You know what? I'm done.

(Revali changed Urbosa's name to Buzz off Vai)

(Link is back online)

(Daruk is back online)

Buzz off Vai: CHANGE MY NAME BACK THIS INSTANT!

Link: What's in Hylia's name have I walked into.

Revali: Your name should convey my message clearly enough

Daruk: Sigh

Buzz off Vai: LINK!!! DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!!

Link: .... I can't

Buzz off Vai: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!?!

Link: I lost all privileges over the chat settings after leaving it

Daruk: Rather unfortunate I'll say

Revali: Thanks for telling me that >:}

Link: Wait what?

Buzz off Vai: Change my name or else!

Revali: Or what ma'am?

Buzz off Vai: I'm heading over there to talk to your mother

Revali: Wha... um, she's on vacation

Daruk: Suree, of course

Buzz off Vai: That's it, I'm taking Naboris there too

Revali: OKAY OKAY

(Revali changed Buzz off Vai's name to Your Mom)

Link: Oh my

Daruk: XD

Your Mom: REVALI

Revali: Tra la la, I cant hear you!

Daruk: You know, Revali isn't as bad as I thought

Revali: Why thank you my good sir!

Your Mom: That's it

(Your Mom changed Revali's name to Fried Chicken)

Fried Chicken: WAIT HOLD UP

Your Mom: Heh >:D

Fried Chicken: COME ON! My names weren't that bad!

Your Mom: Hmm... I swear I smell something delicious through this screen

Fried Chicken: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...

Daruk: This is starting to get pretty entertaining!

Link: Time to get out the popcorn!

(Mipha is back online)

Mipha: What is going on...

Fried Chicken: Great. We got fish in here too.

Mipha: ???

Your Mom: Ignore him sweetie

Mipha: Um, who....

(Fried Chicken changed Mipha's name to Raw Fish)

Daruk: Oh boy XD

Link: ._.

Raw Fish: I'm not a fish.....

Fried: You are now! How does it feel to live in water all day?

Raw Fish: .....

Your Mom: Come on Revali, she's very sensitive... change it back

Fried Chicken: Fine, you got a point

(Fried Chicken changed Link's name to Oh Mipha!)

Daruk: O.O

Oh Mipha!: WHAT THE HELL.

Raw Fish: Oh...

Your Mom: Revali that's too far!

(Fried Chicken changed Your Mom's name to Pain in the Butt)

Pain in the butt: REVALI

Daruk: I'm dying here :'D

Fried Chicken: Don't think I forgot about you big guy

(Fried Chicken changed Daruk's name to Dumb Boulder)

Dumb Boulder: Whoa whoa what'd I do to you?!

Fried Chicken: Everything.

Oh Mipha!: Please change my name... it's making me feel uncomfortable...

Fried Chiken: Sigh

(Fried Chicken changed Oh Mipha's! name to Fishlover)

Fishlover: DAMN IT BIRDBRAIN

Pain in the Butt: Wait, why can't I change my name back?

Fried Chicken: I might've changed the chat settings a little >.>

Dumb Boulder: Ouch.

Fried Chicken: I'll change my name too if it'll make you losers happy

(Fried Chicken changed his name to Supreme Champion)

Pain in the Butt: Wow.

Raw Fish: That's not fair...

(Supreme Champion changed Raw Fish's name to Link it Hurts!)

Link it Hurts!: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Link it Hurts! has gone offline)

Fishlover: I hate you

Pain in the butt: Watch your back Rev... I'll get you one day

Supreme Champion: I'd like to see you try :p

Dumb Boulder: Okay dude, it was funny while it lasted. Change our names back

Supreme Champion: I'm not done yet. This is the most fun I've had in a long time!

Fishlover: I am though

Dumb Boulder: ?

Supreme Champion: What are you yapping about?

Fishlover: I'm paying you a visit

Pain in the Butt: I actually like where this is heading

Supreme Champion: And??

Fishlover: Say goodbye to your house

Dumb Boulder: Oh my...

Supreme Champion: Wait what do you mean?!

Fishlover: What I said. You hurt my friend's feelings

Dumb Boulder: Is he talking about Mipha?

Pain in the Butt: Pretty sure he is

Dumb Boulder: He still calls her a friend? That's sad.

Pain in the Butt: Indeed. They'll never end up together.

Supreme Champion: Where are you?!!

Fishlover: Look out your window

Supreme Champion: Huh? Wha- OMG BOMB ARROWS

(Supreme Champion has gone offline)

Fishlover: I'll see you guys, gonna be a bit busy.

Pain in the Butt: See ya Link. Give him a good beating from me

Dumb Boulder: Same

Fishlover: I gotchu both

(Fishlover has gone offline)

Dumb Boulder: Looks like it's just us two again

Pain in the Butt: Lame. No offense.

Dumb Boulder: None taken. I'm gonna head off for a nap

Pain in the Butt: Sigh Okay, I'll see you all another time

(Dumb Boulder has gone offline)

(Pain in the Butt has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Mipha is back online)

Mipha: Oh, my name is back to normal!

(Urbosa is back online)

Urbosa: Hey, what do you know?

Mipha: Hi Urbosa! I guess Revali felt bad about last time?

Urbosa: Hey sweetie! Perhaps, we may never know with this bird

Mipha: ^^

(Daruk is back online)

Daruk: Wait a minute...

Urbosa: Exactly what I thought

Daruk: I guess he's changed at last

Mipha: Maybe he did!

(Supreme Champion is back online)

Urbosa: You really think so?

Daruk: Sigh

Supreme Champion: Let me guess.

Urbosa: Please do

Supreme Champion: Alright then...

(Supreme Champion has changed name to Revali)

Revali: Happy now?

Mipha: :D

Urbosa: A little bit I suppose.

Daruk: Glad to have you back Rev!

Revali: Yes yes, no need to thank me

Urbosa: He hasn't changed one bit

Daruk: Which begs the question, what did Link do last time?

Revali: .......

Urbosa: Come on wise guy

Revali: HE. BLEW. UP. MY. HOUSE

Mipha: He what?! O.O

Urbosa: A pleasant sight to behold I bet

Daruk: Where do you stay now?

Revalu: In my mom's house.

Urbosa: Aha! How is it to live there mommy's boy?

Revali: A nightmare. The builders are taking forever to build it back.

Daruk: Sounds tough alright

Urbosa: Entertaining to my ears too

Revali: Uhh... anyway... you all heard about the new software update?

Mipha: What update?

Revali: Our Sheikah Slates got some update with the chats or something

Daruk: Anything new?

Revali: We can actually send photos now

Urbosa: Hmm, that sound pretty neat

Mipha: I can't wait to try it! ^^

Revali: I already tested it and I must say, it will come in handy

Daruk: Let's see it

Revali: I believe this might be of interest.

Mipha: !!!!!!!!

(Link is back online)

Revali: And perfect timing too!

Link: ........

(Link has gone offline)

Urbosa: Revali!!!

Revali: >:3

Daruk: Wait, how did you even...

Revali: Oh please. You should've been there yesterday at Lover's Pond

Mipha: No wonder I felt we were being followed

Urbosa: So what now Revali? You a stalker now?

Revali: It has its benefits

Urbosa: -_-

Daruk: Let me pick a picture and give it a try too

Mipha: Oh wow! The quality looks really good!

Revali: Oh wow, when did you get so fat?

Urbosa: I'm backing out of this

Daruk: WHAT DID YOU SAY BANANA BEAK?!

Mipha: O.O

Revali: Oh um, geez I...

Daruk: DO YOU WANT A TASTE OF MY CLUB???

Revali: ... no......

Daruk: GOOD!!!

Revali: .....

Urbosa: Wow...

Mipha:

Mipha: ^^

Urbosa: Aww Mipha!!! Who's that next to you?

Mipha: It's my little brother Sidon <3

Daruk: He looks adorable

Urbosa: I need to squish those chubby cheeks!!! :D

Revali: Heh, pretty cute. Can't deny that

Mipha: You should really visit, he'd love to meet you all!

Urbosa: That I will!!!

(Link is back online)

Link: Woah... Mipha...

Mipha: Yes Link? ^-^

Urbosa: Isn't her brother the cutest thing?

Link: Mipha, you look... stunning...

Mipha: .... r-really?.... you think so?.....

Link: Why would I even say it if it weren't true?

Revali: Damn, Link bringing in the big guns!

Daruk: Guns?

Revali: It's an expression moron. How am I supposed to know?

Daruk: HMPH

Revali: But it's all good right??

Urbosa: Guys chill, they're having a moment

Mipha: .......

Link: Oh and uh... your brother looks cute

Mipha: ... thanks

Urbosa: -_-

Link: I forgot to give you this last time... maybe this can make up for it

Mipha: Oh Link!! It looks beautiful!!

Link: ^^

Urbosa: Nice, thought all was lost there

Revali: Or it will be >:)

Daruk: Come on dude, everyone's happy now

Revali: I don't like happy endings

Mipha: ???

Revali:

Revali: I even edited it a bit

Mipha: !!!!!!!!!!!

Link: Hwbwlameldihcwoqbxgyxolq

Daruk: Whoa... I didn't know

Revali: Well, I am a bird of many talents

Mipha: How... did... you...

Revali: I was minding my own business when I came upon you two in action

Link: It's fake

Urbosa: Link, as much as I want to believe you, it looks pretty real

Revali: Admit it boy

Link: What?

Revali: You love Mipha! Isn't it obvious?

Mipha: I.......

Link: ......

Daruk: Little guy, it won't hurt to say it

Link: But-

Revali: Tut tut! You heard him.

Link: .....

Revali: I'm waiting

Link: Okay! Mipha! I um... I... I like you!

Revali: You sureeee?

Mipha: ...........

Link: I........ love you....

(Link has gone offline)

Mipha: I... don't know... what to say...

(Mipha has gone offline)

Urbosa: You know, that was quite impressive

Daruk: Never thought I'd hear Link say that

Revali: What can I say? I always do all the work.

Urbosa: Uhh... prideful peacock

Revali: Which reminds me, who wants to see a hilarious picture me and Link did the other week?

Daruk: Alright, I'm all ears

Revali:

Urbosa: What in...

Daruk: Yikes! Where were you two?!

Revali: I forgot what the place was called, but Link sure had a blast there!

Urbosa: Its a miracle he survived with you there

Revali: Oh yeah, I have another picture of me. Anyone wants to see it?

Urbosa: Ugh, nope.

Daruk: I'm out.

(Urbosa has gone offline)

(Daruk has gone offline)

Revali: They're all jealous of my good looks

(Revali has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Mipha is back online)

(Revali is back online)

Mipha: Hii Revali!

Revali: Hmph, hey there.

Mipha: How are you doing? ^^

Revali: Eh, fine... it's almost dawn here

Mipha: You're training with Medoh today?

Revali: Yeah... though I'd like to kill time here till then

Mipha: You want to spend time with us?

Revali: Nah, it's just fun trolling you all

Mipha: ... okay

(Urbosa is back online)

(Daruk is back online)

Urbosa: Good morning everyone

Daruk: Mornin'

Mipha: Good morning Urbosa! Hi Daruk! :D

Urbosa: Hi there sweetie! ^^

Daruk: Nice to see you

Revali: Morning? The sun hasn't even come out yet. I bet you all are still in bed.

Daruk: I actually finished my morning stretches

Urbosa: I already ate breakfast and did an early patrol of Gerudo Town

Mipha: Me and Sidon just finished breakfast <3

Revali: .....

Urbosa: Got anything else to say you lazy cocktail?

Revali: I... uh...

(Link is back online)

Revali: Phew... saved...

Mipha: Good morning Link!

Link: Morning Mipha! Hey everyone ^-^

Daruk: Glad to see ya little guy!

Urbosa: How are you fairing Link? Did you just wake up?

Link: I'm making a quick breakfast now

Revali: See? Who's the lazy cocktail now?

Urbosa: .....

Link: That five mile jog around Hyrule Castle sure works up an appetite

Revali: Wait... WHAT?!

Link: What?

Urbosa: You ran around Hyrule Castle?

Link: Yep

Daruk: When did you wake up?

Link: Not sure... it was still night outside. It's part of my morning warmup

Revali: W-Warmup?

Mipha: That's amazing Link ^^

Urbosa: It really is

Mipha: You must... be really... strong...

Link: Oh um... I don't know... thanks...

Urbosa: Were you saying something Rev?

Revali: .....

(Revali has gone offline)

Link: What's up with him?

Daruk: He must still be in bed XD

Urbosa: I wouldn't be surprised

Mipha: Oh! Training is about to start, I'll see you all later! <3

Urbosa: Bye sweetie!

Link: See ya! ^-^

Daruk: Take care Mipha

(Mipha has gone offline)

Urbosa: You know, I've got to admit... its pretty boring here without Revali

Daruk: Yeah, you're not wrong there

Link: Well, maybe we can play a game or something?

(Mipha is back online)

Link: ???

Urbosa: Mipha?

(Mipha has changed name to Sidon)

Link: ?!?!?!?

Sidon: NanemlNwheiconwpw8cb

Daruk: Um... hey Mipha, are you okay?

Sidon: Annoying keyboard... no, this is Sidon!

Urbosa: Revali? Are you pulling my leg here?

Sidon: Wait, there's a lot of letters to type here...

Link: Uh... Sidon?

Sidon: YESS!! LINK'S HERE TOO?!

Urbosa: Link? Do you know him?

Link: Yes, yes I do

Sidon: Ooh! You can take pictures???

Urbosa: OMG

Link: I think you'll remember him now

Daruk: Oh my... that's pretty darn cute

Sidon: I'm not cute...

Daruk: Heh, sorry bud

(Revali is back online)

Urbosa: So you're that adorable little Zora!!

Sidon: Yep!

Revali: What the hell... oh I see now...

Sidon: Are you Revali? The Rito Champion??

Revali: The one and only kid ;)

Sidon: And everyone else here are the other Champions?

Link: Pretty much, welcome to the club!!

Urbosa: ^-^

Sidon: Awesome!!! This is the best day ever!!

Daruk: Heh, glad to have you here

Link: Wait... how did you though?...

Sidon: Sis left her tablet thingy lying around. She never let's me use it

Revali: I see... have any good stuff on her? >:3

Link: Revali

Sidon: Oh yeah! I actually peeked in her diary yesterday!

Revali: May we know some interesting stories from it?

Link: Revali

Sidon: Sure!

Link: REVALI

Revali: Chill Link. Let the little Zora speak

Urbosa: I don't know...

Sidon: Well, sis always talks about you Link

Link: O-O

Revali: Interesting

Sidon: She must really like your muscles. She keeps describing them as "very toned" and "breathtaking"

Daruk: Are we talking about the same Link here? XD

Link: I.... um....

Sidon: There was one part where she sounded sad though

Revlai: Say what?

Sidon: Sis was depressed she and Link haven't spent much time together

Link: I... was with the Princess...

Urbosa: Another trip to some springs?

Link: Yeah... we've been spending a lot of time together lately

Sidon: I think she might be sad about that

Revali: Ahh...

Link: ..............

Sidon: Sis did mention if things between you two should work out, she wouldn't oppose to it

Daruk: Wow... she'd actually do that?

Sidon: Yeah, but sis sounded sad

Revali: Not gonna lie, I feel pretty bad for her...

Daruk: That's something in it's own

Urbosa: Me too, she's too sweet to be so depressed

Sidon: The last part of her diary said something about an armor set she's making

Link: ?

Sidon: Sis spent countless nights slowly working on it. I sometimes see her outside making it.

Revali: Must be some weird Zora tradition

Urbosa: Zip it.

Link: I wonder who's it for?

Daruk: Beats me, must be pretty special to her

Sidon: Yikes!!! Mipha is coming back!! See ya everyone!

(Sidon has gone offline)

Revali: I've got to admit, this has been pretty entertaining

Daruk: I'll say. A change is good sometimes

Link: ...............

(Sidon is back online)

Urbosa: Oh dear

Sidon: Why is my name...

Revali: Cough Cough

(Sidon has changed name back to Mipha)

Mipha: So how are you all? ^^

Daruk: Doing good, nothing much happened

Urbosa: Uh yeah, everything is normal here

Revali: Read up the chat

Urbosa: Damn it Revali.

Mipha: What....... w-what....

Link: ._.

Mipha: You a-all... know that... the armor?

Revali: Bingo, you win

Mipha: Sidon............

(Mipha has left Champion's Hangout)

Daruk: Again? I mean, well...

Urbosa: She seems pretty sensitive about the armor

Revali: So Link, what do you think?

Link: ..........

Urbosa: Are you okay?

Link: I'm gonna pay a much needed visit to Zora's Domain

Revali: Go get her tiger!!!

(Link has gone offline)

Daruk: XD

Urbosa: Well, I'm gonna head out then

Revali: Same, I can't stand staying around in bed anymore

Daruk: -_-

(Revali has gone offline)

(Daruk has gone offline)

(Urbosa has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Revali is back online)

Revali: Hey guys... guys???

(Daruk is back online)

Daruk: Yo, what's up?

Revali: Your m-

Daruk: Don't answer that

Revali: :/

Daruk: So what did you want to say?

Revali: It's really important. I'd prefer to tell everyone instead of wasting my breath on you all individually.

Daruk: HOOOO BOYYY

(Urbosa is back online)

Urbosa: ....

(Urbosa added Mipha to Champion's Hangout)

(Urbosa added Zelda to Champion's Hangout)

Revali: WHYYY

(Zelda is back online)

Zelda: Hi!!!

Revali: Damn. Like just straight up damn.

Zelda: Um...?

Daruk: Relax Princess, he's just a bit high on his ego

Revali: FFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Urbosa: Chill out banana break, keep it kid friendly here

Daruk: Whoa

Revali: Kid friendly?! What am I? 4???

Urbosa: Apparently yes, it seems so. You really are in need of a pacifier

Revali: nsjewkzomanehcismwcic

(Mipha is back online)

Mipha: Oh! It's good to see you Princess ^^

Zelda: The same to you Mipha <3

Revali: I ship it.

Daruk: NO. LIKE NO. STOP.

Urbosa: Please shut up and get some milk if you're that thirsty

Revali: Already got drunk enough just talking with you numbskulls here

Urbosa: Why do I even bother

Daruk: Anyway Rev, what'd you call us here for?

Urbosa: Probably wants to talk about his tragic breakup with his imaginary girlfriend

Revali: Breath in Revali... you're only surrounded by a bunch of idiots...

Mipha: I don't...

Urbosa: It's okay sweetie, he's just a sad introvert with no friends

Daruk: XD

Zelda: Um...

Revali: OKAY so... have any of you heard from Link?

Daruk: ..... no.....

Urbosa: I never thought of it... he hasn't visited Gerudo Town for a while

Daruk: Same here, I'm worried a bit

Mipha: He actually visited us yesterday

Urbosa: Really? How'd it go?

Mipha: For the first time since... I can remember... he didn't speak a single word to me the entire time

Revali: Whoa whoa, that's a news flash there

Zelda: ?

Revali: Uhh... nothing

Urbosa: That is rather strange. Link is pretty quiet but he's not silent

Revali: See? He completely removed himself from us.

Daruk: Let's not get ahead of ourselves now

Zelda: I think I know why...

Revali: The Princess has spoken!

Urbosa: Sigh... were you dropped as a child?

Daruk: You mean an egg?

Mipha: .....

Revali: So you've chosen death

Daruk: Come at me bro

Zelda: AHEM

Revali: I'm like one feather away from removing her again

Urbosa: Carry on Princess

Zelda: As I was saying-

Revali: Squawk Squawk!!!

Zelda: .....

Urbosa: The hell....

Zelda: As-

Revali: "As I said, Link is extremely hot" :)

Zelda: !!!!!!!!!!

Mipha: ......

Daruk: Holy-

Revali: We got ourselves a situation here

Urbosa: Why do you always have to ruin everything?

Revali: I'm simply creating a legendary moment

Daruk: He's got a point there

Zelda: LINK.

Revali: O-O

Mipha: ?

Zelda: Link got in trouble with my father

Urbosa: Wait, how?

Zelda: Well, we were out collecting Silent Princesses and a group of Moblins attacked us.

Revali: Go on.

Zelda: While he was busy fighting them off, one snuck behind me and struck me with its club.

Mipha: Oh dear... were you okay?

Zelda: My arm broke in several places... it got pretty bad

Revali: Damn, I bet-

Urbosa: Shut the hell up.

Revali: .-.

Zelda: Father was so furious... I thought he'd have a stroke

Urbosa: That does sound serious

Zelda: He nearly had Link executed if it weren't for the doctor who came in just then

Mipha: O.O

Revali: Shoot, and I hoped for the best there

Daruk: Poor little guy...

Mipha: It's not fair!

Revali: Meh, life is life Mipha. When you gotta go, you gotta go.

Urbosa: So if I strike you with a lightning bolt, that'll just be life deciding you've had your fill?

Revali: ... now hold up... I'm uh... special

Daruk: Mhm

Zelda: Well, Link took it really hard after that. He now trains every day almost non stop.

Mipha: .....

Zelda: He barely eats now. He starves often.

Revali: Okay, I feel a bit bad for him

Zelda: Thing is, he stopped talking or smiling completely after that

Mipha: It all makes sense now...

Daruk: That's terrible.

Urbosa: It really is, I wish I could help somehow

(Link is back online)

Zelda: !!!!

Revali: Superb entrance. Extra 10 points for that. Bravo.

Daruk: Hey little dude!

Urbosa: Greetings!

Link: ...

Revali: Yup, you were right

Mipha: Um... Link, are you okay?

Link: ...

Mipha: Do you need help... or something?

Link: No

Revali: Aha! He still talks!

Link: ...

Zelda: Hey Link, do you want to-

Link: No

Urbosa: ... Come on Link, a Noble Pursuit will cheer you up!

Mipha: ...

Daruk: He's not answering

Revali: Ouch! Rejected! :D

Urbosa: My nerves are on the limit with this flightless sap

Revali: Well at least I'm not a fat genie

Urbosa: WHAT

Revali: It's all in the thighs, I'm telling you guys

Daruk: Oh dang XD

Urbosa: I SWEAR I'LL-

(Revali has gone offline)

Daruk: ...

Urbosa: Phh... chicken...

Mipha: So uh... are we still meeting at the Champion's cookout tomorrow... like we planned?

Daruk: Yeah, I'll definitely attend that

Urbosa: Of course! ^^

Zelda: I asked father and he's okay with me going. What about you Link?

Link: ...

Mipha: Won't you come? Sidon will also tag along ^-^

Link: No

Mipha: Oh....... uh, okay...

Urbosa: Link, were here for you if you need it

(Link has gone offline)

Mipha: I... I... I need to go

(Mipha has gone offline)

Zelda: What's going on with Mipha? She sounds a bit... you know... around Link

Urbosa: That my dear, is something for another day

Zelda: But-

Daruk: We need Revali for that ;)

Urbosa: OH NO. That will turn into a blood fest

Daruk: XD

Urbosa: Anyway, it's getting late here, so I'll have to go now

Zelda: Okay, bye Urbosa!

Daruk: See ya

(Urbosa has gone offline)

Zelda: Daruk?

Daruk: Yes Princess?

Zelda: Can you keep a secret?

Daruk: Of course! Gorons are the best at keeping secrets!

Zelda: Well... I...

Daruk: Don't worry, we can delete the chats after... I think

Zelda: ... I have some, well... feelings towards Link.......

Daruk: Oh whoa, that's big

Zelda: I've said too much...

(Zelda has gone offline)

Daruk: Okay soo... how I delete texts again?... um... nah, no one will see them anyway

(Daruk has gone offline)

(Mipha is back online)

Mipha: Hey everyone! I.......... oh..........

(Mipha has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Daruk is back online)

(Urbosa is back online)

Daruk: Man that party was awesome!

Urbosa: I have to admit, it was better than I expected.

Daruk: Yeah! Those roasted rocks tasted amazing!

Urbosa: Uh... yeah... delicious....

(Revali is back online)

Urbosa: Look what the sky dropped in here

Revali: Says the genie who got drunk last night

Daruk: XD

Urbosa: I WAS NOT DRUNK! I ONLY HAD FOUR NOBLE PURSUITS!

Revali: Fourteen. You had fourteen.

Daruk: Yep, somewhere around there

Revali: Did you manage to carry her big butt all the way back to Feminist Paradise?

Urbosa: GERUDO TOWN

Revali: Tsk, blah blah my bad.

Daruk: She tried to break free several times and wanted to run into cactuses

Revali: Did you let her ram her face in them? I know I would've.

Daruk: Oh, I let her alright. It... wasn't very pretty.

Urbosa: SO THAT'S WHY I HAVE A BUNCH OF PUNCTURE WOUNDS

Revali: A memorable sight to behold I bet

Urbosa: FFFFFFFF-

Revali: Remember Miss Six Packs, keep it kid friendly here

Urbosa: For your information, I have an eight pack

Daruk: Whoa, that's...

Revali: And I have a ten pack. Get lost.

Urbosa: Lies

Revali: It's under the feathers. What would you know?

Daruk: Ooh savage!

Revali: But of course, my good sir.

Urbosa: This isn't fair. I need backup.

Revali: It's two against one. There's no way you can win against Lord Revali

Urbosa: Funny stuff birdbrain

(Zelda is back online)

(Mipha is back online)

Revali: Yo Daruk, they're begging to be slaughtered

Daruk: Touching.

Zelda: Urbosa... I've already had enough of Revali yesterday...

Mipha: What's going on?

Revali: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Slaughter House. My name is Revali and I'll be your host for today.

Urbosa: I swear I'll-

Daruk: Shouldn't hurt if I joined in on some of the fun

Zelda: Daruk? Not you too...

Mipha: ....?

Revali: Please, you peasants have no idea who you're up against.

Urbosa:

Urbosa: It's sad. Really sad.

Zelda: Oops

Revali: WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT?!?!

Urbosa: Mipha took several photos at the party yesterday and showed me some

Revali: So you have chosen death.

Mipha: ...... but I......

Revali:

Daruk: Oops

Mipha: AHHHHH!!!!

Zelda: .... what in... Hylia...

Revali: If your fishy face leaves this chat again, I've got plenty more of those pictures

Mipha: But.......

Zelda: Ahem. Where did you get that?

Revali: Phhh, you have no idea Princess. Let's say I've done some research.

Zelda: I see...

Urbosa: OMG...

Mipha: Princess... please i-it's not what it looks... like... I can explain...

Zelda: I'm not against you and Link um... but... I guess I have something to say

Mipha: .... yes?...

Zelda: I've got... well, I have some feelings towards... Link...

Mipha: Oh........

Urbosa: O.O

Revali: Daruk, why don't you come on over? I'll make popcorn to continue the movie.

Daruk: Already on my way ;>

Mipha: Well... I'm s-sure y-you two will be... happy together...

Zelda: Wait... um, I don't know yet but...

Urbosa: Mipha, sweetie, think this through

Mipha: No, I understand... you're the Princess of Hyrule

Daruk: I'm here Rev!

Revali: Just in time! The popcorn is ready!

Daruk: :D

Urbosa: I'm getting a headache

Revali: Join us! The plot is bound to thicken

Urbosa: Uhh... no? I'd rather help with the problem instead?

Revali: Were gonna need dinner for that too then

Daruk: Oh boy!

(Link is back online)

Revali: And here comes the main attraction!

Link: ...

Urbosa: Nothing happening here Link. You didn't miss much.

Link: ...

Revali: I suggest to take a look above ;)

Daruk: X3

Urbosa: Damn.

Mipha: ....

Zelda: Wait don't!!

Link: ........................................

Urbosa: I'm out

(Urbosa has gone offline)

Link: ...............

Zelda: Link, please.....

Link: .....

Revali: Hey Link, I'll give a ton of pots if you go berserk on them

Zelda: Those are drugs Revali

Revali: No, pots.

Link: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zelda: No No NO!!!

Revali: Well, do we have a deal?

Link: HYAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!

Mipha: ?!?!?!

Link: IS THAT HOW YOU BOTH THINK OF ME?!

Mipha: N-no... s-sorry.....

Zelda: We were um, just talking randomly. Nothing special...

Link: I don't like you. I never did. All I am is some servant that is a living reminder of your mistakes.

Zelda: But... wait, how do you know that?

Link: Your diary.

Zelda: MY WHAT!?

Daruk: XD

Zelda: HOW DARE YOU LINK?

Mipha: ........

Link: I was guarding your room the other day and so I got bored

Revali: That's my Hylian boy!!!

Daruk: I do say, this popcorn tastes delicious!

Revali: Thanks, mom's secret recipe

Zelda: It's unlawful to look and use other people's property, especially royalty. I could report you to father!

Link: Do it.

Mipha: Um Link... you're acting a bit-

Link: I don't care. I just want my pots.

Revali: I have found this man's weakness.

Zelda: I didn't really... mean those things...

Link: Your mom.

Daruk: OMG XD!!!!

Zelda: MY MOTHER is dead thank you very much!!!!!!

Link: PHHHHHHH

Zelda: AjwnskJamwkeJwkwmdohw

(Zelda has gone offline)

Revali: We have seen the Princess's dark side

Daruk: Indeed!

Mipha: ... Link?

Link: Were not friends.

Mipha: .... I... I'm sorry...

Link: No one cares.

Mipha: Please... you're making me... cry...

Daruk: Come on Rev, I'm starting to feel a bit bad now...

Revali: Hmm, you have a point...

Link: Get out of here fishbrain

Revali: Okay Link! That's enough geez...

Miph: I-I... I......

(Mipha has gone offline)

Daruk: Well that was quite... eventuful...

Link: POTS

Revali: The hell?

Link: POTS. I WANT MY POTS.

Revali: Okay okay, chill man

Link: POTS. NOW.

Daruk: Just give them already. He's scaring me now

Revali: Fine... come on over to my place and you can have them.

(Link has gone offline)

Daruk: Wait, who's knocking on your door?

Revali: I don't know... let me see... WHAT THE IT'S LINK

Daruk: GIVE HIM THE POTS ALREADY!!!! HE'S GONNA KILL US BOTH!!!

(Revali has gone offline)

(Daruk has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Link is back online)

(Revali is back online)

(Daruk is back online)

Revali: Evening gents.

Daruk: Yo what's up?

Link: ...

Revali: Say something, Hylian. Anything

Link: Hi... I guess

Daruk: That works, welcome back little guy

Revali: Did you enjoy those pots?

Link: Yes.

Revali: Never again

Daruk: I'm with you, I thought we were gonna die

(Mipha is back online)

(Zelda is back online)

(Urbosa is back online)

Revali: Aha! Girls are back in full force

Mipha: .....

Zelda: Please, this isn't bringing back any good memories

Urbosa: Link, I heard what happened last time

Daruk: O.O

Urbosa: I'm sad to say this but, I'm ashamed of you. Disappointed.

Link: ......

Zelda: Thank you. I couldn't have worded it any better.

Revali: Damn, that's deep

Link: Look Zelda... I'm sorry...

Zelda: Yeah, whatever now.

Link: .... Mipha... I wanted to....

Mipha: Please... don't talk... with me

Link: But-

Mipha: Please...

Revali: Well that's a major setback now

Urbosa: All thanks to your birdbrain

Revali: Hey, I'm a bird of many talent. One of them is entertainment.

Urbosa: More like a sore dumpling

Revali: You're more of a big, squishy palm fruit

Zelda: Here we go again....

Urbosa: Son, I lift more than your ego

Revali: Bet.

Urbosa: 500 pounds, 20 reps

Revali: 800. 30 reps. Suck that.

Urbosa: Obviously fake.

Revali: Phhh, ask Daruk

Daruk: It's actually true. He can even lift with his feet

Link: Yep

Urbosa: Hhhh... men.

Zelda: Right? Where would they be without us?

Revali: Life would be so much simpler without you... a dream life indeed.

Link: Free pots too.

Zelda: ......

Revali: This boy concerns me sometimes

Mipha: ........

Link: Hey wait, I found a bunch of cuccos

Urbosa: Link...

Daruk: Little dude, I suggest you make a run for it

Link: One is staring at me funny.

Urbosa: Is it me, or has Link been getting stupider lately?

Link: I'm hungry. I think I'll cook it.

Daruk: .......... yes...

Revali: EXCUSE ME?!

Link: What?

Revali: YOU DON'T COOK MY FAMILY.

Urbosa: I think Revali is high too

Revali: ONCE A BIRD, ALWAYS A BIRD

Daruk: He's high alright. His ego must've taken a wrong turn

Urbosa: I'm not surprised

Link: There. Caught it... now to dice it up

Mipha: .....

Revali: I'M COMING FOR YOU LITTLE GUY!!!

(Revali has gone offline)

Zelda: Link... this is a bad idea...

Link: Already chopped its head and legs off.

Daruk: OMG

Link: The other cuccos are looking really weird.

Urbosa: He's a goner

Link: I swear there are twice as may now.

Mipha: .....

Daruk: DUDE RUN!!!

Link: Nice... it smells good... almost done

Urbosa: Anyone gonna attend his funeral?

Zelda: I might if I'm free that day

Link: Mmmm... it tastes so delicious! So worth it, you guys should try some.

Urbosa: No thank you

Link: Wait... I'm surrounded... their eyes...

Mipha: ....

Link: OMG, some of them have knives...

Daruk: The heck?

Link: Wait th- AHH THEY'RE ATTACKING ME!!!!

Urbosa: Nice knowing you Link. You deserve it honestly, especially after last time.

Link: ZELDA PLEASE HELP!!!

Zelda: Sorry, busy writing in my diary that you've read from.

Link: DARUK!?!?!?

Daruk: I'm with Rudania now... sorry...

Link: MIPHA!!!....

Mipha: ....... no.... I..... don't... care...

Link: .......

(Link has been disconnected)

Daruk: There's no way he's gonna live

Urbosa: I swear cuccos would do so much better against Ganon

Zelda: So true, I might write that down

(Link is back online)

Urbosa: ?

(Link has changed name to Cucco)

Zelda: What in-

Cucco: Cluck

Zelda: ?????

Cucco: Cluck

Mipha: !!!!!!

(Cucco has gone offline)

Zelda: Oh dear... this appears rather urgent now...

Mipha: We must help him!!!!!

Zelda: Mipha... that was quite... unexpected...

(Revali is back online)

Revali: Okay, I've got news

Mipha: What is it?! Is Link okay???

Revali: Uhh... not the best welcoming image

Daruk: Just tell us already dude.

Revali: Well, I found our Hylian...

Mipha: And????

Revali: He ate my brother.

Urbosa: Please put me out of this misery

Zelda: Okay Rev, whatever. What happened then?

Revali: I was so saddened... so disappointed... that I told my fellow brothers to abuse Link even more.

Mipha: REVALI!!!!!!

Revali: We have a code of conduct, and we birds must follow them

Urbosa: Definitely high again.

Daruk: Well is he alive at least?

Revali: I kicked him a few times. He's not moving.

Urbosa: WOW. LET'S KICK SOMEONE TO SEE IF THEY'RE ALIVE.

Revali: I don't know whether to be happy or overjoyed

Mipha: No... no... no....

Zelda: ........

Revali: I think he's dead

Daruk: You think?

Mipha: No... and the last thing I said...

Zelda: I can't believe this is happening.

Revali: Wait... he's moving

Mipha: !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Revali: Geez... most of his bones are broken... puncture wounds too...

Urbosa: How sadistic are these birds anyway?

Zelda: I don't know...

Revali: Hey Mipha, you think you can help?

Mipha: You're... willing to help... Link?

Revali: Phh... I'd rather that he die, but you would never forgive me for that.

Urbosa: Finally this Rito thinks ahead of time

Zelda: Well I'm happy everything is fine then. I'll be going.

Daruk: Same here... Rudania is acting up

Urbosa: Alright, we'll see you two later

(Zelda has gone offline)

(Daruk has gone offline)

Mipha: You can bring him over... I'm by the East Resevoir Lake

Revali: Alright, I'll be there soon

(Revali has gone offline)

Urbosa: Mipha, do be careful. I appreciate your patience with this... boy.

Mipha: Yeah... it comes... never mind...

Urbosa: Alrighty then, I'll see you later. Bye sweetie!

Mipha: Bye Urbosa!! :D

(Urbosa has gone offline)

(Mipha has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Link is back online)

(Revali is back online)

Revali: Hey Link, how ya feeling?

Link: Help.

Revali: The heck is wrong with you? Not even a simple hi?

Link: Help me.

(Daruk is back online)

Daruk: What's good guys?

Link: HELP ME.

Daruk: Am I...

Revali: Beats me. Must've fallen out of bed this morning

Link: Please help me, I'm dead.

Daruk: Say what?

Link: I lost the Princess.

Revali: Whoa whoa, WHAT?!

Daruk: What's going on little dude?

Link: We were on our way to Gerudo Town and the Princess ran off somewhere

Revali: You know, I'm starting to have doubts about our future royalty.

Daruk: Same here

(Mipha is back online)

Revali: Whoopee.

Mipha: ... What's going... on...

Daruk: Link lost track of the Princess in the desert

Revali: You should be proud of your man :)

Mipha: ......

Link: Oh no... I can feel someone following me

Revali: A cucco by any chance?

Link: No... someone...

Daruk: Are you sure you aren't hearing things? It can get pretty harsh out there

Link: Wait... I hea-

(Link has been disconnected)

Mipha: Link!!!!!

Daruk: This is getting a bit worrisome

Revali: Ehh, I was expecting this from them weird Hylians anyway

Mipha: That's not very... nice...

Daruk: What'd you expect from Revali?

(Urbosa is back online)

Revali: Ho ho, look who decided to show up!

Urbosa: Phh, look I don't have time for this. Something serious is going on.

Daruk: What do you mean?

Urbosa: Link and Zelda were supposed to drop by here, and I've been waiting for them for hours.

Revali: Yeah, we heard Mrs. Know it all.

Daruk: Link told us he lost Zelda, then said someone was following him

Mipha: And got... disconnected... suddenly...

Urbosa: Oh no... this is what I feared...

Mipha: ???

Urbosa: The Yiga just carried out an assassination attempt against me... and it barely failed.

Mipha: Oh dear...

Revali: Drat, and I would've thrown a massive party

Urbosa: I think were being targeted, including you pip squeak

Revali: HEY HOLD UP!

Mipha: .....

Urbosa: Where are you all located?

Revali: Well, I'm doing a patrol around Rito Village

Daruk: I'm checking on the workers at the mines

Urbosa: Mipha?

Mipha: ..... East Reservoir Lake... I'm scared...

Urbosa: Don't worry sweetie, just stay calm

Revali: Or you'll be turned into fish sticks

Urbosa: You're not helping!!!

(Link is back online)

Mipha: Link!!!

(Zelda is back online)

Urbosa: Princess?

Daruk: Are you two okay?

Link: I got attacked by a dozen so Yiga warriors

Mipha: WHAT?!

Revali: Oho, do tell us what happened? Did they skin you alive? :)

Link: No... but I was already in a bad mood so they got massacred

Revali: Mhm.

Daruk: Well, that sounds pretty eventful... anything else happen after?

Zelda: Link saved me...

Urbosa: Oh?

Zelda: I... was being chased by Yiga warriors... and nearly...

Revali: Yeah yeah, and then your charming prince swooped in and saved you

Zelda: He was so..... charming and daring though....

Mipha: ............. that's nice...

Revali: Ahem, cough cough

Zelda: Um... so, are you guys doing okay?

Revali: Yeah, I'm just AfDIasKELSyBS

Urbosa: The hell?

Daruk: Yo, are you good?

Urbosa: Phh, the wind probably ruined his "prestigious hairline"

Link: Hairline?... shouldn't it be... featherline?

Revali: SOMETHING JUST SHOT A NET ON ME! I'M FALLING DOWN!

Zelda: Are you pranking us here again Revali?

Revali: NO BOTH OF MY WINGS ARE BROKEN SJSNnahnaJajLwk

Link: Hold up...

Revali: I CAN'T MOVE

Urbosa: Well get up and run!!!

Revali: Omg... there are some... some... crawling... to...

(Revali has been disconnected)

Mipha: Revali... this... this is bad...

Link: It might just be him acting pretty stupid as usual

Urbosa: I don't know... he would usually say something snappy... and stupid too I guess.

Daruk: Hey... I just came back to check on the workers and they're gone.

Urbosa: Be on your guard, this looks like it's a setup

Link: I don't like this

Daruk: I'm being followed. I can feel it.

Mipha: Please get out of there!

Daruk: I'll see you all later... this might not end pretty...

(Daruk has gone offline)

Mipha: .......

Link: Urbosa, I'm almost at your place with Zelda

Zelda: I hope we won't be a burden to you.

Urbosa: It is my pleasure to have you two... wait.....

Zelda: Is everything alright?

Urbosa: It got really quite all of a sudden... I just heard a pot crash.

Zelda: Urbosa!!!

Urbosa: Listen, get here quickly and let my guards know. Make haste!

Link: Nearly there....

Urbosa: They're in here... I can sense their presence, and it's a large group....

Zelda: !!!!!!!

Link: Okay were here!!! I'll wait outside in case.

(Urbosa has been disconnected)

Zelda: No!!!

(Zelda has gone offline)

Link: .....

Mipha: ..... um, Link?....

Link: Mipha! Are you okay???

Mipha: I'm fine, just swimming in the lake but...

Link: But???

Mipha: I... I swear I saw a... white faced figure... staring at me...

Link: Mipha get out of there!!!

Mipha: I'm already too far in... I don't think I can make it...

Link: Is there any way to alert your father???

Mipha: N-No... there's... two of them, no... three... more...

Link: They're trying to kill us all!

Mipha: ........

Link: There's a lot of commotion coming from the city walls. I think the guards might have it under control.

Mipha: Link... I'm scared...

Link: I'm coming there right now

Mipha: It's too far...they're coming closer...

Link: Just stay under water as long as can, okay?

Mipha: B-But....

Link: Just do it. Trust me. I'm on my way.

Mipha: ........

Link: Mipha.... I.... I.... l-love you.....

Mipha: .................... Li-

(Mipha has been disconnected)

Link: No!!!!!!!!

(Link has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Link is back online)

Link: Guys, anyone online? Hello???

Link: ............

(Daruk is back online)

Link: Daruk!!! Are you okay?!

Daruk: ...... yeah.... just a little roughed up...

Link: What happened???

Daruk: I got ambushed by over two dozen Yiga warriors

Link: So I was right......

Daruk: Right about what?

Link: I think the Yiga carried out an attempt to wipe us all out around the same times

Daruk: That......... makes sense...

Link: But-

Daruk: Are the others safe?!

Link: I don't know.... are you?

Daruk: I'm fine. Their heads were too soft for my club.

Link: .......... fascinating........

Daruk: The others must've been attacked by a similar number as well

Link: Mipha......

Daruk: ..... is she okay?

Link: I do-

(Urbosa is back online)

(Zelda is back online)

Daruk: Hey!!!

Urbosa: Hey there...

Zelda: Hi Daruk... Link...

Link: You two alright?

Zelda: I'm fine but... Urbosa is....

Urbosa: Doing good, just a few cuts and bruises-

Zelda: Gashes

Urbosa: .......

Zelda: I heard the doctor

Daruk: Whoa whoa! Are you hurt???

Zelda: Me and the guards found her on the point of collapse

Urbosa: Princess please, I had it under control

Zelda: No... you almost died!

Urbosa: Well, yes... bu-

Zelda: Look, I don't want to lose you! You're the closest person I know!!

Link: ......

Zelda: Ever since mom died... you just... took her role... I view you as.... my mom...

Daruk: Wholesome.

Link: Yeah, pretty much.

Urbosa: Awww x3

Zelda: ^^

Daruk: How sweet. Too bad Revali isn't here for the extra buttering

Urbosa: Where's that bird anyway? I actually wouldn't mind if he got fried or something.

Daruk: Beats me.

Link: He still hasn't come online

Zelda: Oh dear... wait, what about Mipha?!

Link: .....

Urbosa: Link? Is everything alright?

Link: ......

Urbosa: The suspense is killing me. Just lay out the facts!

Link: I don't know.... if she's..... alive...

Daruk: O.O

Urbosa: SnMakendkLeodpwmwbdi

Zelda: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Daruk: Where are you going then?

Link: To the East Reservoir Lake. Almost there.

Zelda: Do be careful Link...

Urbosa: Please. None of us need extra stress now

Daruk: Yeah.....

Daruk: Revali can go for all I care, but Mipha.... hell no.

(Mipha is back online)

Link: MIPHA!!!!!!!!

Mipha: ...............................

Urbosa: Mipha are you okay?!?!?!?!?!

Mipha: ....... no.... I'm under water now and they're... right above me.

Link: WHAT???

Mipha: I can't stay much longer... I'm.... scared....

Zelda: Just stay calm, everything will be fine.

Mipha: Omg.... they're trying... to shoot shock arrows?!

Link: I'm here!!!!!!!

Mipha: Please.... hurry.......

(Mipha had been disconnected)

Link: DAMN YOU HYLIA!!! NOT TO MY PRINCESS!!!

(Link has gone offline)

Daruk: O.O

Zelda: ..........

Urbosa: Okay.... um, I think he might've been referring to...

Zelda: .......

(Revali is back online)

Daruk: Dude?!

Urbosa: Oh hell no.

Zelda: Revali!!!

Revali: Hey.

Daruk: Are you doing okay???

Revali: Yeah. I guess

Urbosa: What's wrong? You sound pretty chill.

Revali: Well, I almost got killed, but everything seems to be cool.

Zelda: You almost what?!

Revali: Ya heard me sweet cheeks. I'm a pro.

Urbosa: Meaning?

Revali: When I fell down, Yiga warriors turned out to be behind the set up and jumped to finish me.

Daruk: Pretty obvious at this point.

Revali: Even with both of my wings broken, I destroyed them.

Urbosa: A likely story, and one nobody is interested in hearing.

Revali: OKAY NOW ISN'T ANYONE HAPPY I'M ALIVE?!

Daruk: ........

Zelda: Well... um..........

Urbosa: I wish the Yiga would've done a better job decorating you with arrows.

Revali: Wow, I need to invest in better friends.

Zelda: You weren't exactly... the ideal friend either.

Revali: ........

(Mipha is back online)

Urbosa: Mipha, is everything okay there?!

Mipha: The Yiga seem...to be distracted by something... or someone...

Zelda: Link by any chance?!?!?!

Mipha: Maybe, but I can't really hear much since I'm underwater

(Link is back online)

Link: Is anyone on here?

Daruk: Everyone's here little guy. You holding up good there? Need any help?

Link: ..... urgh..... I have an arrow in my arm.... several more lodged in my back

Urbosa: Wait, WHAT?!

Link: It's okay... I'm just slightly more worried about the large gash across my chest...

Mipha: !?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?

Zelda: Link get the hell out of there! You'll get yourself killed!!!

Revali: No please, stay there. :)

Zelda: THIS IS SERIOUS YOU SPINELESS SAP!!!

Daruk: ......

Revali: Just the type of attitude I like.

Link: I can't... see well... they're all blurry...

Mipha: Just stay put Link... I can see you. I'll make my way there.

Link: No..... it's really crazy here and you'll get hurt

Mipha: For you, it'll all be worth the pain.

Zelda: ..............

Link: They're too many, I can't chat on here anymore

(Link has gone offline)

Revali: Ahh... sweet words. Never though how much I w-

(Daruk kicked Revali out of Champion's Hangout)

Daruk: I'm actually sick of him

Urbosa: Same here. He's just an immature brat.

Zelda: Mipha, did you find Link?

Mipha: Yeah... surrounded by... mutilated Yiga warriors...

Daruk: Dang, he sure went a long way to save you

Mipha: I'll be going now... his wounds are pretty serious. We'll head on over to the Domain.

Urbosa: Alright sweetie, we'll see you...

(Mipha has gone offline)

Daruk: Phew, glad to know everyone is safe at last...

Urbosa: Well Princess, you want to go with me at the bar? I've recently just had it renovated.

Zelda: No thanks... I need some time to myself.

(Zelda has gone offline)

Daruk: Poor girl... they both really want him.

Urbosa: The issue is, he's pretty oblivious and... stupid... to the facts.

Daruk: It's just so much more complicated as well

Urbosa: It's tedious sometimes, but I can't blame them. I love both of those girls.

Daruk: Yeah... which reminds me, I need to go check on the miners.

Urbosa: Okay then, glad to know everything is back to normal, for now.

(Daruk has gone offline)

(Urbosa has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Zelda is back online)

Zelda: Hmm... no one has been on for days... I think I know why.

(Zelda added Revali to Champion's Hangout)

(Urbosa is back online)

Urbosa: Princess... why...?

Zelda: It's too quite without him, plus, I'm sure he's changed.

(Revali is back online)

Revali: Your beautiful bird Revali is back in the game!!!

Urbosa: I can think of more suitable synonyms. Dumb, stupid, lazy, idiotic, w-

Revali: Says Mrs. I wish I was Revali

Urbosa: See? Now you know why everyone prefers him kicked...

Zelda: Maybe I was...

Urbosa: Still kicking him anyway. Any last... no, mentally challenged words?

Revali: I'm beautiful

Zelda: ..... that was just..... random...

Urbosa: Hey wait, I can't remove him?! Zelda?!

Zelda: I didn't do anything!!!

Urbosa: Oh no, please don't tell me he-

Revali: But of course honey, I'm the daddy now >:)

Urbosa: Eww... you sound like a crazy stalker

Revali: It comes with these good looks

Urbosa: I think he's drunk... maybe high again...

Zelda: Revali? I don't think he would d-

Revali: Hey sugar lips, how about I swoop you off your feet?

Zelda: ................. I'm 17.

Urbosa: Holy hell

Revali: O_O

Urbosa: The King will find this screenshot interesting

Revali: Wait wait wait! I meant you sweetie!

Urbosa: Stop calling me mushy names. Did you hit your puberty late or what?

Revali: Palm fruits.

Urbosa: W-What?

Zelda: He's going random again. Maybe insane...

(Link is back online)

(Daruk is back online)

(Mipha is back online)

Urbosa: Thank Hylia the rest of the group is online

Revali: Fishsticks!!!

Mipha: ......... um........

Link: You doing good Rev?

Revali: I never realized how much I love my bed.

Urbosa: He's undergoing an evolutionary change. Apparently for the worse.

Revali: I think I'll marry it.

Link: The cuccos must be disappointed in their descendants

Daruk: Hmm... I think I know what's up with our peacock here

Urbosa: Oh? Please tell us. I can't take him anymore.

Daruk: Well, yesterday me and Revai explored this skull shaped region close to my place and...

Link: And....?

Daruk: We met this fellow called.... forgot his name. He ran some weird... monster shop of some sorts.

Revali: Damn... he sure was hot though

Mipha: I........... cannot.....

Daruk: He gave us some drinks or potions of some sort also

Link: Let me guess, you drank it.

Daruk: I only tasted a little and it was nasty... but Revali emptied his in seconds.

Revali: And bought a year's supply too!

Link: No wonder he's acting gay

Mipha: Link.... please....

Revali: Oh, which reminds me, I took an interesting screenshot of our chat

Link: Really, what do you have in store for us this time?

Link: AjwnalJWOWLANhJwownelsu

Mipha: Wait... wait ahh..... how....?

Zelda: Aha......

Revali: Mhm. There's a lot of sweet honey drizzled there.

Urbosa: Shutup. They were just scared at the moment.

Daruk: Everyone was freaking out, even Revali I bet

Revali: I was actually a pro during the whole thing.

Urbosa: Translation being, he ran away like a baby from the Yiga

Revali: NO I DIDN'T

Link: Yes you did, at least I stood and fought like the others...

Revali: DON'T PUSH ME

Mipha: Link.......

Link: Boohoo, just grow up already you feather freak

Revali: You know what, I'm done with this Hylian.

Mipha: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Revali: Weep.

Zelda: ...... I.....

Revali: If you leave like usual Mipha, I'll post even more.

Mipha: But....

Revali: Tut tut my dear

Zelda: Good, because I have some questions I want to get straight

Daruk: O.O

Urbosa: I think I'll leave

Revali: You stay right here missy

Urbosa: Or what? You threatening me?

Revali: I still have some interesting photos of you from the Champion's Party

Urbosa: WHAT?

Revali: Ha ha, got em.

Zelda: Okay um... Link? Can I ask you something?

Mipha: ..........

Link: Yeah.... sure I guess.....

Zelda: Do you... do you like me?

Link: I....... I....

Mipha: .....

Link: Yes, of course I like you Princess

Zelda: You mean it? Like.... you actually like me?

Link: Zelda look, you're smart, talented, brave... beautiful, I can't deny that. I like you a lot and would always consider you a very close and dear friend.

Urbosa: Aww, how sweet!

Zelda: Friend......

Revali: Damn, friendzoned XD

Zelda: What about Mipha? What do you think of her?

Mipha: I..... Princess.....

Zelda: Those words. What do they mean to you Link?

Link: She's been a very close childhood friend and I care a lot for her, as I do for you. I didn't know what was going through my head at that time.

Zelda: So you were only scared....?

Link: Yeah, honest.

Mipha: .................

Urbosa: Mipha sweetie, it's all-

Mipha: I'm okay... like I said... I wouldn't oppose if they got together one day.

Link: I didn't say that!

Mipha: THEN WHY DID YOU SAY ALL THOSE THINGS AND MAKE ME BELIEVE YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE FEELINGS FOR A STUPID ZORA LIKE ME?!

Link: ........ I....

Mipha: WHY CAN'T I EVER LIKE SOMEONE WHO HOLDS DEAR TO ME? IS IT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR A LITTLE AFFECTION???

(Mipha has left Champion's Hangout)

Daruk: I think she might be actually crying there

Link: ..... how so?

Urbosa: Can't you tell by reading others words you oblivious dog?

Link: .......

Zelda: Maybe I migh-

Urbosa: I'm disappointed in you two, especially you Link. You broke her. You lost her.

Daruk: Yeah.... she blocked me... and most likely everyone else

Urbosa: Wait, she's still with me... and writing back.

Daruk: At least she trusts you. You've always been there for Mipha.

Urbosa: She's crying. I feel terrible for her...

Link: ......

Zelda: I think I should go.

Revali: Or not

Urbosa: REVALI!!!!!!

Zelda: What the hell.....

Revali: It's an older picture but Mmm... such a gold finding...

Zelda: You know, I need a good, long break from all this.

(Zelda has gone offline)

Link: I screwed up.....

Revali: Big time pretty boy, but it was very enjoyable :)

Urbosa: I'm done with with this pesky Rito. Where are you all located?

Daruk: Just got out of Hyrule Castle

Link: Close to Rito Village...

Revali: Relaxing in bed ;)

Urbosa: Splendid. Let me send you some important information privately. And you Revali, aren't part of it.

Revali: Privately? Throwing me a surprise party? Thanks in advance.

Daruk: Sigh

*     *     *

Revali: Hey guys... you've been pretty quite for the last few hours... hello?

Daruk: Yeah, what's up?

Revali: I was wondering why you were online and not talking at all

Daruk: Oh, been a bit busy planning a surprise

Urbosa: If you don't mind, could take a look outside your balcony at the stable?

Revali: Yeah sure... oh hey! What are you guys doing there?! You came all this way to visit me?

Link: <3

Revali: But... what are you doing all the way down there... and waving goodbye?

Daruk: Huh?

Revali: Wait... I smell fire... it's coming... coming...

Daruk: From where?

Revali: From... HEY THERE ARE TNT INSIDE M-

(Revali has been disconnected)

Urbosa: Look at that explosion... best light show I've seen in a long time... satisfying too...

Daruk: Totally. You think he'll survive that?

Urbosa: I'd like to think no, but still probably no.

Link: Well....

Urbosa: Enough is enough for today. I'm going home to a nice, cold drink.

Daruk: Can't agree more

(Link has gone offline)

(Urbosa has gone offline)

(Daruk has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Urbosa is back online)

Urbosa: Sav'saaba everyone. It's all nice and peaceful here.

(Daruk is back online)

Daruk: Hey what's new over there!

Urbosa: Oh nothing really

Daruk: I can sense that smile behind your screen. You can't lie to me!

Urbosa: Well... I turned a squad of Yiga warriors into mincemeat. I've never felt such satisfaction in killing.

Daruk: Gee uh... maybe I should've...

(Revali is back online)

(Link is back online)

Daruk: Yo guys! What's up?

Revali: Me.

Daruk: ???

Urbosa: Oh ignore him. Miss feather cheeks here must be upset.

Daruk: Miss...? Oh yeah... I remember now. How's your house coming along Rev?

Revali: I HAVE TO LIVE IN MY MOTHER'S HOUSE AGAIN

Urbosa: Aww, momma's boy really likes her sweet cookies and milk?

Revali: SHE ORDERS I MAKE MY BED EVERY MORNING

Urbosa: Sheesh. Talk about lazy on a whole new level.

Daruk: Why is he even a Champion?

Urbosa: Bribe. Apparently the King "liked" Revali during the election. By the way, when are doing your ceremony Link?

Link: Next week... kinda nervous about... you know... being a Champion.

Daruk: Just think of it as a title really, nothing more to it.

Urbosa: He's right. Were really only here whenever Ganon will return.

Revali: Or to feed him to the Moblins

Link: Touchy.

Revali: I heard they recently developed a taste for sizzled Hylian.

Link: And I heard Hylians can eat any bird as long as it's cooked.

Revali: ...

Urbosa: Ooh, busted.

Daruk: Hey guys... doesn't it feel a bit... like something is missing here?

Urbosa: Revali's usual stupidity? I'm sure it'll kick in soon.

Revali: Damn you woman.

Daruk: No... more like someone...

Link: .....

Urbosa: Meaning..... MIPHA!!!

Revali: Aka "Sushi Roll"

Urbosa: SHUT UP YOU BANANA FREAK, NO ONE TALKS LIKE THAT ABOUT MY SWEET MIPHA

Daruk: O.O

Revali: Mhm.

Link: Um...... what are you going to do..?

Urbosa: Add her back. She's online anyway and must be lonely too.

Link: But-

Urbosa: And I'm getting the Princess here too.

Revali: For once, this drunk bastard actually has a brain

Daruk: Yeah....

(Urbosa added Mipha back to Champions Hangout)

(Mipha is back online)

Urbosa: Hey sweetie! Welcome back!

Link: ......

Revali: Say something before I get busy again

Daruk: Don't be shy....... it's all in the past.

Mipha: .......... hi...

Revali: The fish speaks!

Urbosa: Shut up before I wring your scrawny little neck

Mipha: That's pretty graphic...

Revali: Graphic? You haven't seen anything then! Maybe I'll give a good example of gra-

Urbosa: NO.

Revali: I beg your pardon ma'am?

Urbosa: I SAID NO.

Revali: Phh.... fine. But only cause I'm "nice."

(Zelda is back online)

Daruk: Looks like the whole gang is back in business once again ;)

Urbosa: Welcome Princess. I hope you don't mind, but I want to settle out the dispute once and for all. Please.

Zelda: What...? Oh.... yeah the....

Revali: Maybe the pictures will help brighten your memories?

Urbosa: Don't pour more coal on the fire you brainless sap.

Daruk: Savage move right there.

Urbosa: Okay so... Link, you have anything to say?

Mipha: ......

Link: ..... I...

Urbosa: Listen, I don't have all day and neither does she. You want to save a friendship, you do it now.

Link: .... M.... Mipha.... I...

Mipha: .. Y-Yes..?

Link: Look I'm.... sorry. Really.... I was... I am... not meant for you... I wasn't a true friend. I overlooked your feelings and... took advantage over them.

Mipha: I see.... it's okay..

Link: I've done a lot of thinking... I've cried and cursed myself for it. It's okay if you don't like me anymore.. I just wanted to say that..... I like you... and have feelings for you

Urbosa: My heart <3

Mipha: Link I.... do you really mean it?

Link: Every word... and I would've... hugged and....

Daruk: And...?

Revali: Just say it moron.

Link: K-Kissed you... to prove it

Mipha: ......

Link: It's okay if you don't care.. you have every right to hate me

Mipha: I don't hate you..

Revali: Damn it, I bet all my popcorn on that

Mipha: I... I've always wanted to tell you this.. I..

Urbosa: Just say it sweetie, no one is gonna harm you.

Mipha: I love you Link...

Zelda: ....

Revali: Holy- I almost forgot she was here XD

Link: Mipha I..... I love you too..

Urbosa: ^-^

Revali: And this is the part where they go and make out.

Urbosa: Stop it.

Revali: Then comes the baby

Urbosa: STOP IT.

Revali: Wait, how would that even work...?

Urbosa: STOP IT.

Revali: Hylian... fish? Fishian?

Daruk: XD

Zelda: FOR HYLIA'S SAKE STOP IT BEFORE I HAVE YOU EXECUTED.

Revali: .... say what?

Daruk: I wouldn't push her to those limits man

Zelda: Link, what about me...?

Link: .....

Urbosa: Go on.

Link: Zelda... I... I do have feelings for you too, I really do.

Zelda: You mean it..?

Link: They're just not... necessarily romantic. You're a good friend, the best I could have. I... I could feel myself getting closer to you the more we spend time together.. you're smart.. beautiful... courageous..

Zelda: ....

Link: I don't know if your father would even... approve... or if it'd ever work out.. really, I have also thought weeks about this..

Revali: Make it snappy son, you're taking a lot of space here.

Link: .... I just... I hope you find someone better than me.. I... I don't think I'm good enough for you.. Zelda.

Mipha: ......

Zelda: I see.... well...

Urbosa: If you want to talk about it, I c-

Zelda: I don't know what was wrong me. I thought maybe... just maybe I found the right one, someone who was there for me... for my life... to help cherish me and lead a happy life together.

Revali: Yawn

Zelda: I knew father would approve but... I've placed false hope on promising facts. Now I'll probably be married to some snobby prince. Maybe ending my life would be better...

(Zelda has gone offline)

Link: .......

Daruk: Okay.... that was really um...

Revali: Fascinating.

Urbosa: I hope she's okay now.. I feel a bit sorry for her. She just wanted to be... happy

Daruk: Zelda does have it pretty hard on her with these events. She probably just wanted...

Revali: Me, yours truly of course.

Urbosa: Gross. Go find a suitable pig to mate with.

Revali: anwkaoLWPWBWhMwow

(Revali has gone offline)

Mipha: ..... Link I....

Link: No, it had to be said. I choose... you Mipha. I'm sorry I kept it hidden all these years.

Mipha: It's okay... maybe... you want to come over? Sidon wants to play tag...

Link: Yeah I'd love to, I'll see you guys then..

(Link has gone offline)

(Mipha has gone offline)

Urbosa: I'm just gonna leave since it's getting stupid how were the last two left again.

Daruk: Well... you got a point there...

(Daruk has gone offline)

(Urbosa has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Link is back online)

Link: Hey everyone.......

(Mipha is back online)

(Urbosa is back online)

Urbosa: Hey there Link

Mipha: Link!!! :D

Link: Hi Mipha!

Mipha: How are you doing today? Feeling nervous???

Link: Well to be honest here... I actually am really nervous

(Daruk is back online)

Daruk: Hey there little guy!

Link: ^^

Mipha: Aww don't worry Link... I know everything will go well <3

Urbosa: Indeed, just think of it as recieving an ordinary medal

Daruk: They're totally right!

Link: Thanks guys but... I don't know...

Mipha: What's the matter...?

Link: I just... I don't think I deserve to be a Champion like you all

Daruk: Don't say that dude!

Urbosa: Why would you think that? You deserve much more for your feats and accomplishments

Link: But to be a Champion... to be directly involved on defeating Ganon and... fighting alongside with you guys...

(Revali is back online)

Urbosa: Oh no... and I thought today would be a good day

Revali: The eagle has landed!

Urbosa: Correction, you're not even close. Maybe a little under a cucco

Daruk: As much as I disagree, I agree with her

Revali: Come on, what happened to the proper welcomes?

Urbosa: That is a proper welcome. Actually, you definitely got more mercy this time

Revali: .... Okay so... what's cooking this time?

Mipha: Link's Champion Ceremony is today

Revali: Really? I completely forgot about it.

Daruk: Seriously?

Revali: I was planning on going fishing. Heard they were biting good today

Urbosa: The King requested that all Champions be present. I'm surprised you haven't heard that.

Revali: The fat shrimp said that?

Mipha: O.O

Daruk: Shhhhhhh, you'll get us all in trouble!!!

Revali: Honestly, can't he go on a diet or something? People let themselves be ruled by a potato like him?

Urbosa: Clearly this isn't my day

Daruk: Look, this is about Link now, it's his big moment today

Mipha: Yeah... at least try to be a... friend and encourage him at least this once...

Revali: Mmmmm.... no promises but we'll see

Daruk: Guess it's better than a snappy reply

Urbosa: I'll most definitely take it

(Zelda is back online)

Urbosa: Hello Princess!

Daruk: Heya!

Zelda: Hi....

Revali: Aww, is miss kissy here sad? Perhaps a picture w-

Urbosa: SHUT UP FOR ONCE IN YOUR PATHETIC, MEASLY LIFE YOU BRAINLESS CHICKEN

Zelda: Thank you Urbosa, I needed that.

Urbosa: Always my pleasure Zelda ^^

Revali: ........

Link: Well, I'll make my way to the Castle. If Epona behaves, I can still text on here

Mipha: :)

Zelda: ..... Yeah... I'll be waiting for you then...

Link: ..... look I'm sorry for last time I...

Zelda: No it's okay, we don't have to talk about it. Now, it's your moment.

Link: Thank you... it means... a lot

Revali: Eww, we getting all mushy here again? That stuff is boring!

Urbosa: Not as boring as listening to you

Daruk: Oh god... his singing though... I can never get it out of my head...

Urbosa: A beautiful example indeed

Revali: Hey!!! I took singing lessons as a kid!!!

Urbosa: I've heard Lizofolis who sing better than you

Mipha: That's actually true...

Revali: ...... I'm just gonna fly my way over to my fishing spot. If I feel like it, I might make my way to the ceremony

(Revali has gone offline)

Daruk: Well... at least that's out of the way

Urbosa: I'll be making my way over to the ceremony then. I'll see you all later.

Daruk: Same with me here, probably gonna take an hour or two to get there

(Daruk has gone offline)

(Urbosa has gone offline)

Zelda: ... I'm going to help father get everything ready...

(Zelda has gone offline)

Mipha: Link...?

Link: Yes? ^-^

Mipha: Do you want me to keep you company until you get there?

Link: But don't you have to make your way here as well?

Mipha: Oh well, yes... but I can swim to the castle in thirty minutes

Link: Wow... you really are a good swimmer...

Mipha: I don't think I'm that good...

Link: No really, your style is absolutely beautiful to the point of perfection

Mipha: .... T-Thank you... <3

Link: Trust me, you're amazing at a lot of different things. You... you always surprise me with your beauty and talent when I least expect it

Mipha: I... I don't know what to say...

Link: Take it as an encouragement to continue being who you are ^^

Mipha: Link I... thank you..

Link: Of course.. also, I just arrived at the castle. I'll be seeing you all shortly then!

Mipha: Okay bye!!! :D

(Link has gone offline)

(Mipha has gone offline)

*     *     *

(Daruk is back online)

(Link is back online)

(Mipha is back online)

(Urbosa is back online)

(Revali is back online)

Daruk: That ceremony sure took longer than I thought!

Revali: I literally thought I was gonna pass out from boredom. Phh, I knew fishing was the better choice

Mipha: At least... you were a good friend and came... :)

Urbosa: She's right there. You did the right thing

Daruk: Couldn't agree more

Revali: Well.......

Link: Thanks guys, it meant so much to me... it feels like I'm part of a big family now...

Urbosa: Aww, of course were all family Link!

Link: Yeah! Though... I did feel a bit sorry for Zelda. She seemed pretty lifeless as she helped me with my cloak

Daruk: The Princess did appear a bit depressed. It really slowed down the ceremony

Link: You think anyone noticed?

Urbosa: Without a doubt. You really should have a talk with her Link.

Mipha: I... agree...

Link: Mipha...?

Mipha: She probably hurts on the inside and needs someone to... be there for her and be a source of comfort

Urbosa: Mipha's right... she needs a little love. I'm sure the poor girl doesn't get much from her busy father

Link: I see........

Daruk: Don't take it to heart bud! Just do what you think is best!

Urbosa: Like I said, we're all in this like one big family, and help each other in times of need

Revali: Who knows, maybe a certain Hylian and Fish will have a family of their own?

Mipha: ......

Urbosa: I.... I can't anymore..

Link: Yeah? So what if we do?

Mipha: O.O

Daruk: Holy-

Revali: Whoa whoa now!! I didn't really mean...

Link: You got a problem if I really decide to marry Mipha and have a family with her?

Urbosa: .........

Mipha: I.... I.....

Revali: Hell yeah, those screenshots will work beautifully in the future

Link: Shrugs

Revali: Well it's been nice seeing you all I guess. Congrats on the ceremony Link, you deserve it.

Link: Thanks.... really..

Revali: Alright time to ditch you all

(Revali has gone offline)

Urbosa: You did good Link. I'm proud to have you as a Champions alongside us

Daruk: Same here little guy, we'll always be in this together as a family!

Link: ^^

Urbosa: I'll have to be going then... that party took its toll on me

Link: The banquet did offer a bit too much food heh

Daruk: Yeah... plus I'm sure these two can use some quality time together

Link: Wait I-

(Daruk has gone offline)

Link: ........

Mipha: Link...? Did you... did you mean all that?

Link: ...... Yeah.. I did..

Mipha: I see. Well... I would happily embrace a future like that... I really would ^^

Link: .....

(Mipha has gone offline)

Link: Oh god..... now I'm in trouble

(Link has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Revali is back online)

Revali: Hey everyone, it's your favorite Rito, Revali!!! Where are all you losers at?

(Urbosa is back online)

Revali: Wai-

Urbosa: The fat, glorious turkey has chosen his fate once again

Revali: I didn't really mea-

Urbosa: Mean what? That all the Champions chosen to save Hyrule are just some childish losers?

Revali: No... I ju-

Urbosa: Of course I might be mistaken. Lord Revali really knows everything!

Revali: JUST SHUTUP!!!

(Link is back online)

(Daruk is back online)

Daruk: Just one time... I just want to pop by once and to see that everyone is getting along...

Link: Totally feel you there big guy

(Mipha is back online)

Urbosa: Mipha!!!! ^w^

Mipha: Hi Urbosa! Hi Link and Daruk! :D

Daruk: Hey Mipha, good to see you too

Link: How have you been???

Mipha: I've been doing very well, and Sidon just learned how to swim up a waterfall yesterday!

Link: Really? Tell the little guy I'm proud of him!

Mipha: <3

(Zelda is back online)

Revali: I ship them two.

Link: Um... who?

Revali: You and Miss Sushi here

Mipha: ........

Daruk: Hey man, I don't think this is the right time to-

Revali: I mean, they do go pretty good together. Hylian and sushi. A tasty combination there

Urbosa: Eww....

Zelda: Why am I still alive?

Revali: Because you let Fried Fishsticks here to steal your man

Urbosa: Stop it Revali! Princess.... I'm so sorry for him...

Zelda: It's... fine...

Daruk: Speaking of food, are we still participating on that national food competition?

Urbosa: Oh wait, I forgot to tell Link about it...

Link: No worries, I already knew about it months before

Daruk: Are you serious?! So what are you doing now?

Link: Cooking.

Urbosa: Cooking...?

Link: Well... these things are pretty hard to chew on...

Revali: Wow. Just wow.

Mipha: Um Link......

Daruk: Hey, those look delicious!!!

Urbosa: Link, they're rocks.

Link: Ohh... that's why I nearly broke my teeth trying to eat them!

Revali: I'm starting to think that Hylian IQ is dropping rapidly these days

Urbosa: You would be one of those "special exceptions" though

Revali: .-.

Daruk: Well I do wonder which dish the King will choose! What are you guys bringing?

Urbosa: I'm preparing my favorite. A big, juicy piece of steak, cooked to perfection

Zelda: Aw very nice! I always loved your cooking Urbosa!

Urbosa: ^^

Mipha: I made a special dish of cooked sizzlefin trout with fried Hylian rice, carrots, radishes, and a pinch of raw bright-eyed crab

Urbosa: Raw crab?

Mipha: Family secret ^^

Revali: Well, I didn't really plan on participating, but I'll make my mom's secret goat milk pie

Link: Ooh! I love that one!

Revali: Why thank you my good sir

Daruk: I'm cooking up some magma rocks with a sprinkle of rubies and diamonds on top!

Urbosa: Um.....

Zelda: .......

Revali: Are you trying to kill the old man? Actually go ahead, I won't mind.

Zelda: Is that an expression of murder? Correct me if I'm wrong but, I think it's called treason...

Urbosa: Ooh, look who screwed up big time. These screenshots will come in handy for the future

Revali: Y-You wouldn't dare!!

Zelda: Revali.....

Urbosa: You want me to turn him into fried chicken? I heard Rito have a unique taste

Revali: You can't do that! I didn't mean it!!!

Zelda: Sigh, your fine Revali. I won't tell my father.

Revali: Omg thank thank thank thank you!!!

Zelda: Yeah, of course..

Urbosa: You seem a bit calmer today Princess

Zelda: Well, it's been a good day... mostly

Daruk: Are you also competing in the competition?

Zelda: No, because I happen to know exactly what dad likes and... the competition wouldn't be a competition anymore

Mipha: That makes sense... are you still going to be there?

Zelda: Oh yeah, I'll be judging the dishes as well

Link: Finished!!!

Urbosa: Finished...?

Link: My entry of course. I think it's the best I've made so far!

Revali: So far

Urbosa: What did you make this time?

Link: I threw in a couple moblin guts... lizards... bugs... oh and rocks too!

Daruk: Isn't that what you made last time...?

Link: Oh no, this time I made sure to throw in plenty of salt and peppers!

Revali: That's a recipe of death right there honestly

Mipha: You're not going to enter that in... right Link?

Link: Of course I will! It tastes... well, I didn't taste it yet but I bet it's delicious!

Zelda: Link... I'll have to take a look at what you've cooked in there. I don't want you to poison my father.

Link: I'm already at the castle

Zelda: WHAT?!?!

Mipha: O.O

Zelda: LINK DON'T YOU DARE!!!

Link: Don't worry, a guard has to test my entry to see if it's safe

Urbosa: Wait don-

Link: He took a bite

Urbosa: ........

Mipha: Oh dear.....

Link: He's chewing it slowly

Zelda: Link, I just can't

Link: Wait... he's coughing...

Daruk: Might I suggest to get out of there before things get bad?

Link: He's... on the floor and shaking all over... there's foam at his mouth...

Revali: That's very interesting indeed

Link: I think he's dead

Urbosa: Link... you do realize you're good as dead now

Link: Nope I'm getting out of here!!!

Mipha: Wait ma-

(Link has gone offline)

Mipha: ..........

Revali: Seriously, I sometimes wonder if that Hylian is even mentally capable of doing anything else than fighting

Urbosa: How do you put up with someone as... stupid... as him, Zelda?

Zelda: Well like Revali said... he really only knows how to fight... that's all... I sometimes feel pretty bad for him.

Urbosa: You're not wrong there. I'm sure the boy only wanted to have some fun as a change

Zelda: Yeah... I'll be seeing you all... I have to help father...

Urbosa: Okay, take care sweetie!

(Zelda has gone offline)

Daruk: You think we'll see him again?

Revali: I doubt it. If he's gone, I'll throw a party as a celebration

Mipha: That's very... cold...

Urbosa: Look, I'm sure he's fine. Anyway, the event will begin shortly, so I suggest we get our entries ready before going to Hyrule Castle

Daruk: Gotcha!!!


*     *     *


Revali: Damn it. Who knew that the King had a thing for seafood?

Urbosa: I actually had a taste of Mipha's dish. It tastes amazing!! The best thing I've eaten in a while!

Mipha: Aww thank you Urbosa! But... you deserved the win... mine wasn't as good as yours...

Urbosa: Are you kidding me? The King went crazy over your entry!

Daruk: You've earned it Mipha, everyone's proud of you

Revali: Hmph!

Urbosa: Well, almost everyone

(Link is back online)

Revali: Well look who decided to show up! Mr. Lamb Chops himself!

Daruk: What's up little dude? Where were you?

Urbosa: Yeah, you missed the competition. Mipha won by the way. She was amazing ^^

Link: Oh.... congratulations Mipha... I'm sure it was delicious

Mipha: Thanks Link uwu

Link: Well... I guess I'll see you all next month...

Mipha: Why??? What happened?!?!

Link: .....

Urbosa: Come on Link just tell us. We haven't seen you for days anyway

Link: I'm in prison...

Mipha: .......

Daruk: The guard?

Link: He... had a serious stomach ache but... I'm stuck here a month as punishment

Daruk: I'm sorry to hear that

Revali: Heck yeah!!! Thank you so much!!

Link: You're welcome.

Mipha: But... how can you still text?

Link: Zelda came by and brought me my Sheikah Slate...

Urbosa: So that's where she went. Well, that was nice of her

Revali: You sure that's the only thing she gave you? ;)

Link: OMG STOP

Mipha: .....

Revali: Are you sureee? I can smell her perfume from here

Link: NO WE DIDN'T

Revali: Nah, he's denying it everyone

(Link has gone offline)

Mipha: .......

(Mipha has gone offline)

Urbosa: Way to ruin the evening banana beak

Daruk: Sigh...

Revali: What? It was boring in here anyway!

(Daruk has gone offline)

(Urbosa has gone offline)

Revali: Geez. People these days can't have a laugh about anything

(Revali has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Zelda is back online)

Zelda: Hey everyone!

(Urbosa is back online)

Zelda: Urbosa! Hi!

Urbosa: Hey there sweetie! Something new going on over there?

Zelda: Well, I wanted to get everyone here if possible... you know...

Urbosa: Aha, well don't worry. I'm sure Mipha will join any moment

(Mipha is back online)

Urbosa: There she is! Hey Mipha! :)

Mipha: Hi Urbosa! Hello Princess!

Zelda: Mipha... you can call me Zelda, it's fine...

Mipha: Okay...

Urbosa: Well, at least were making progress here with you two

Zelda: What do you m-

(Revali is back online)

Urbosa: Whoa whoa whoa who invited you here?!?!

Revali: Myself, and I also brought popcorn and drinks for later

Urbosa: Meaning?

Revali: I'm looking forward to an entertaining night, so don't disappoint me

Zelda: Okay so anyway... where are the others? I have something important to tell you all.

Revali: You're pregnant?

Urbosa: WHAT THE HELL REVALI

Zelda: Good Hylia help me...

Revali: Who's the father?

Mipha: ......

Urbosa: I think I'm gonna throw up for real

Zelda: I'm 17 Revali... you're truly disgusting...

Revali: Ouch... what will your father say about the matter in that case?

(Link is back online)

(Daruk is back online)

Revali: Ah, the culprit has arrived!

Link: What?

Revali: What?

Mipha: ........

Daruk: Please don't tell me...

Urbosa: The glorious peacock is at it once again

Revali: It makes so much sense why Link is in jail now

Link: What's going on here?

Revali: Hey Link, watcha gonna do with a child at this age?

Link: ....... is he high again?

Urbosa: Apparently so, though he's got a different approach now.

Zelda: He's not letting me tell you all about my idea I had in mind...

Mipha: Please tell us Pri... Zelda ^^

Daruk: Yeah, whatcha got for us?

Zelda: Have you all ever heard of the game charades?

Urbosa: Yeah, I actually have now that you mention it

Mipha: I've played it a little with Sidon before <3

Daruk: Nope, never heard of it!

Link: Me neither

Revali: Wel-

Urbosa: Zip it.

Revali: .-.

Zelda: So... the way you play it... one person must use certain images to portray a message that the others must guess what it means

Link: Um... okay?

Daruk: How do we do that?

Zelda: The Sheikah Slates received another software update and we can now use emojis

Mipha: We can now use what?

Link: So that's why my slate wasn't working last night...

Revali: Ooh, sounds very interesting!

Zelda: Here are some... 😁 ❤ 🤭

Mipha: Aww they look so cute!

Revali: Ho ho ho!!! I just stumbled upon a gold mine!!

Daruk: Hey dude... save it for later now

Revali: Whatever you say big guy ;)

Link: So basically we have to use those... emojis... to create phrases?

Zelda: Yep! You ready to play?

Mipha: I sure am!

Link: Count me in then! Being in jail is getting pretty boring, I could use some fun

Urbosa: Alright, since you brought up the idea Princess, you can go first.

Zelda: Okay! 👩🏼 ❤ ❄

Mipha: .....

Revali: That's pretty lame.

Zelda: Just guess already, it's my first time.

Daruk: Zelda loves snow?

Zelda: Yes you're correct!!!

Mipha: Aww nice! I'll have a go..
👦🏼 🙁 🏊♂️ 🌊

Revali: CRINGE!!!

Urbosa: Shutup, she obviously has done better than you could ever do

Revali: Pah...

Daruk: I'm lost there...

Link: Wait... I don't like swimming in waves?

Mipha: ... yeah, you guessed it correctly!

Link: Haha nice! And you're not wrong there...

Mipha: ^^

Revali: 👦🏼 😍 😚 🐟  Guess this one.

Link: ......

Daruk: Hold up, let me see.... oh wow...

Mipha: I... wait, is that... me?

Urbosa: Link... loves kissing Mipha???

Revali: Jackpot! :D

Mipha: ..........

Zelda: I knew this would take a left turn.

Link: OKAY CARRY ON. WHO'S NEXT?

Urbosa: Me, it's time we have some real fun now with someone in particular
🐔 🤮 🤴🏼 ➡️ 😋 🍗

Zelda: Oh?

Revali: Hey... hold up there...

Daruk: Oh my, I think I just guessed it xD

Link: Haha!!! That's actually pretty accurate Urbksa. Good work!

Urbosa: Thank you Link

Revali: AM I SUPPOSED TO BE THAT STUPID CHIKEN?

Link: "Revali threw up on the King, and soon became tasty, fried poultry."

Revali: AmHiwLanjajOKBGUinva

Urbosa: There there turkey leg... maybe not today, but perhaps tomorrow...

Daruk: XD

Revali: I'll show you!!!
🤪 🧞♀️ ❤ 💋 🥵 🐟 ➕ 👩🏼

Daruk: Okay, now that's a long one...

Urbosa: What's that pile of nonsense supposed to mean?

Revali: Use your brain doofus

Urbosa: Mmmmmmmm

Zelda: I don't really get it

Mipha: Me neither...

Link: Clueless Urbosa... loves to kiss... hot fish and Zelda...

Mipha: Hot fish...? Wait....

Revali: HA! GET OWNED!!

Urbosa: How dare you disgusting... disgusting...

Daruk: Geez... there goes the whole neighborhood...

Link: You got anything to save the day big guy?

Daruk: As a matter of fact, I do!!
🌋 ➡️ 🥵 ➕ 🥶

Link: Lava is hot and cold?

Revali: That was a no brainer. I expected more from you Daruk

Daruk: Hey, I thought it was a good one!

Mipha: It wasn't that bad Daruk ^^

Daruk: I appreciate it Mipha!

Revali: 👦🏼 ➕ 🐟 ➡️ 💋 ❤ ➡️ 🐟 🐟 🐟

Link: ...........

Urbosa: What in Hylia...?

Zelda: I'm so done. Were always coming back to that issue.

(Zelda has gone offline)

Link: Can we all just do something else? This isn't fun anymore and now Zelda left

Mipha: Link and... me... then kissing and love... then.... kids?

(Mipha has gone offline)

Revali: And now Mipha left :)

Link: What? OMG REVALI WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

Revali: What? Can't take a joke like a man? Tsk tsk... I'm disappointed in you.

Link: Why do you always have to make it personal!!!

Revali: It's called "entertainment" my dear boy. You've got much to learn.

Urbosa: ...... what a mess...

Daruk: 👦🏼 👩🏼 🧞♀️ 🐔 🐟 🗿 💥 🐲 ➡️ 🎉 🎊

Urbosa: Wait wait...

Link: Is that what I think it is?

Urbosa: "Link, Zelda, me, Revali, Mipha, and you... defeating Ganon and then a celebration?"

Daruk: Yep! You're totally right there!

Urbosa: Aww Daruk that's so sweet!!!

Link: I've got to hand it to you, that was actually genius man

Daruk: Thanks you two!

Revali: Ehh, it's okay I guess.

Urbosa: 🧞♀️ 🍴 😋 🐔 ➡️ 🦴

Link: Let me guess... "Urbosa eats tasty Revali till there are only bones left of him?"

Urbosa: Couldn't have said it any better

Revali: WHOA WHOA WHOA HOLD ON!

Urbosa: I have steak knives waiting to be used. You interested how they feel?

Revali: You're joking, right?

Urbosa: Look outside your window.

Revali: Why would I lo-  WHAT THE HEL-

(Revali has been disconnected)

Urbosa: I'll see you later Link. I've got some Rito to season and grill ;)

Link: Alright I'll see you! Save me a leg!!!

(Urbosa has gone offline)

Link: Well... another night in jail then... I wonder if I should take on a career of cooking instead of a Champion?

(Link has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Link is back online)

Link: Hewo..ejsibxkwor dhwkc

(Revali is back online)

Revali: Um... okay now?

Link: Ooo Revuwwi!!

Revali: What the hell Link.

Link: Isd thatda rully yousm?

Revali: God damn it Link stop trying to type like a little child!!!

(Urbosa is back online)

Link: Urbodsca us heears tooo?!

Urbosa: Can someone please explain what is going on...?

Revali: That's exactly what I want to know too.

Urbosa: So your bird brain is not behind this at all?

Revali: Phh. I try to he nice to everyone for once and this is what I get in return? Real first class service.

Urbosa: You've pretty much created a national name for yourself

Revali: That being...?

Urbosa: Brainless bird, served hot and fresh

(Daruk is back online)

Revali: EXCUSE ME MISS GENIE OF FEMININ PARADISE???

Urbosa: Yeah, you called?

Link: Dharguk us heree?!

Daruk: What in Hylia...

Urbosa: Yep. My initial thoughts.

Revali: I WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON!!!

Link: Rebavli uss mads?

Revali: Please, someone end me or I'll actually kill that damn Hylian

Urbosa: Whoa there Revali, this feels different for some reason...

Daruk: You really think so? Maybe he's just high on his pots again

Urbosa: I don't know... he'd normally be stupid on a whole new level then

Revali: .......

(Zelda is back online)

Zelda: Hey, has anyon-

Link: PRUNCASS ZULDA!!!

Zelda: Seen..........

Revali: Welcome back to the never ending stupidity in this group chat

Zelda: Was that Link?

Link: I cudt buluve uts du Pruncess!!!

Urbosa: I doubt it at this point

Daruk: It sounds like a little child is talking

Revali: Or Link's mentality downgraded instead. I find that much more plausible.

Urbosa: Oh please, there's an explanation to everything bird brain

Daruk: You really think so?

Urbosa: Actually, time itself will never be able to explain Revali's existence

Revali: Ha ha very funny

Zelda: Can someone please tell me what's going on? This is serious.

Urbosa: What's going on Princess?

Revali: Boyfriend leave you trapped in a castle, waiting rescue? ;)

Zelda: No........

Daruk: Quit it Rev, now is not the time

Revali: :/

Zelda: I haven't seen Link for the past few days. He hasn't shown up at the castle at all.

Urbosa: Wait, are you serious there?

Daruk: We talking about the same Link here? That's some serious punishment there for not showing up

Zelda: Exactly what I was thinking. His family hasn't seen him either when I asked them.

(Mipha is back online)

Revali: Oh, I KNOW where Link was gone this entire time.

Mipha: ?

Revali: He obviously has been busy playing hide and seek with a certain fish... underwater :)

Daruk: Do I even want to know..?

Zelda: ........ that's.... disgusting.....

Mipha: What's going on?

Revali: Oh, stop being so-

Link: Mupha!!! Uts yuu!!!

Mipha: Link...?

Revali: Just admit it, you two were slobbering over each other these past few days all alone.

Mipha: .... What, no...... I haven't seen Link in over a week........

Urbosa: Way to put someone on the spot dimwit

Revali: Hey, I want to get my facts straight! You got a problem???

Urbosa: Mhm.

Mipha: But... Link, why are you texting in such a... weird manner?

Zelda: Where have you been anyway?!

Link: Oh... wut..

(Link has changed name to Saria)

Urbosa: Okay.......

Revali: Well this took another stupid turn. Yeesh.

Zelda: Saria? It was you this entire time?

Saria: Yuss!

Zelda: Aww I'm so happy to hear from you again!! How have you been sweetie???

Daruk: Can someone....?

Urbosa: I'd like to know that myself

Mipha: ........

Zelda: Haven't you all heard? Link has a sister!

Urbosa: Link has a what?!?!

Revali: EXCUSE ME WHAT THE HELL? LINK HAS A SISTER?!

Zelda: I was wondering the same thing. It looks like he didn't tell any of us about her.

Revali: I'm sorry, but I still need to get things straight. LINK HAS A GODDAMN SISTER??????

Saria: Yup! Lunk us my uldur bruder!

Urbosa: Aww, how precious!!!

Daruk: I never in a million years would've imagined that Link had a younger sister!

Zelda: Most definitely! You should all meet her in person! Saria is so much fun to hang out with!

Mipha: Hi Saria! How are you doing? ^^

Saria: I'm dooing rully gud!!!

Mipha: I'm delighted to hear that! How's your brother Link doing?

Saria: I huvnt seen hum fur a whuld..

Zelda: Wait what?!

Urbosa: Okay, now I'm starting to worry a bit

Mipha: I.... I....

Revali: Don't worry sweet cheeks, your hubsand will swoop in and save your broken heart

Mipha: He's not my husband!!!!!!

Urbosa: Damn it Revali just shut up for once!!!

Zelda: Please, I'm having a good day so far and I don't want a pesky Rito ruining it

Revali: Oh really, how about I g-

Daruk: Revali. Stop it before I get my club.

Urbosa: >.>

Revali: Okay...

Saria: Oh!!! Lunk us comung!!! I gutta go!!!

(Saria has gone offline)

Zelda: So... that was a little short. I really wanted to take more with her

Urbosa: Me too... she seemed like such a sweet and innocent girl. REVALI. MESS WITH HER ONCE AND I'LL WRING YOUR SCRAWNY NECK.

Revali: Yeah yeah, no promises on that one.

(Saria is back online)

Daruk: Oh boy... this will be interesting indeed...

Saria: What the...

Revali: :)

Saria: Oh.........

(Saria has changed name to Link)

Daruk: Glad to hear from you again little guy

Link: ......

Zelda: Now for the important question. Where in Hylia have you been Link?!

Link: Camped in Gerudo Desert.

Mipha: Wait....

Revali: Lame.

(Zelda has kicked Revali out of Champion's Hangout)

Link: .....

Zelda: Now that he's out of the way, what's going on Link? My father was furious at your absence.

Link: Sorry.

Zelda: Sorry? SORRY?! I MISSED MY TRIP TO THE SPRINGS OF WISDOM!! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I PREPARED FOR IT?

Urbosa: Wait, you never told...

Zelda: It was supposed to be kept a secret.... sorry Urbosa.

Urbosa: No no, I understand. Sorry you missed out on it.

Zelda: Father just wouldn't let me go! He said I needed Link to protect me.. and I prepared for years to visit the springs on that specific day....

Daruk: I'm sorry to hear Princess

Zelda: You don't need to apologize... I just... I'm frustrated...

Mipha: Link... is this about your sister?

Link: Yeah.....

Urbosa: Why haven't you told us about her Link? You know how much I like being a mother figure to sweet girls.

Link: I....

Zelda: You better have a good explanation for this Link. Father is already thinking of what to do with you now.

Daruk: Easy now Princess, I'm sure there's more to the story.

Link: Well... after my mother... died... trying to give birth to my sister... who also died... I....

Mipha: O-Oh....

Zelda: .....

Link: Father was never the same... he forced me to train until the point of death.... and... I rarely saw my home again. He never told me but... father remarried and... had a baby girl. Her mother died of a disease but... the little one... she's my sister. Father never told me. 4 years... I was alone, without anyone. I couldn't take the shock when he finally told me the news....

Mipha: ..........

Urbosa: Link... I never thought.... why... why didn't you tell us this before?

Link: I didn't know what to do. I have so much to do with training... I have no time for my personal life. What moments I have pass in the blink of an eye

Zelda: ..... Link...

Link: I'm sorry

Zelda: No.... I should be the one apologizing. I was so focused and stressed with my duties... with father... I never really give much though about others

Link: Maybe... no, I should really go

Daruk: Hey little dude, no one's mad. You've had it really though.

Urbosa: Just take the time you need to heal. I'm sure I can arrange something with the King.

Link: Thanks....

Urbosa: Do promises to bring your sister next time, okay?

Mipha: Oh yes, please!

Link: I'll make sure

(Link has gone offline)

Urbosa: Now then... Princess, if there is anything else you need help with-

Zelda: No, it's okay Urbosa. I need to get back to studying this... power inside me. Hopefully father won't be so mad at me this time....

Urbosa: Take care if yourself Zelda, we're always here to help

Daruk: Yeah!

Mipha: ^^

Zelda: Thanks you guys... it means a lot... really... I'll be seeing you all then

Mipha: Bye Princess!

(Zelda has gone offline)

Mipha: You know, I think I'll go back to Ruta and practice our procedures one more time

Urbosa: I've been thinking the same thing just now

Daruk: Hey, same here!

Mipha: I guess until next time then?

Daruk: I guess so, see you all later!

Urbosa: Take care you two!

(Urbosa has gone offline)

(Daruk has gone offline)

(Mipha has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Daruk is back online)

Daruk: Hey guys... I'm bored.

Daruk: Hello? Hellooooo

(Link is back online)

Link: Hey Daruk, what's shaking?

Daruk: Oh, nothing much. Is it just me or is this place lacking something?

Link: You read my mind

Daruk: Should we take the risk again...?

Link: I mean, it's your funeral if you do

Daruk: Well... make sure to bring plenty of rocks to it at least

(Daruk added Revali back to Champion's Hangout)

Link: ......

(Revali is back online)

Daruk: ..... hey Rev... I uh....

Revali: What now? Dog chased you up a tree again?

Link: Yep.

Daruk: No... I'm just pretty bored today. It would be a good time to just relax and talk

Revali: Talk?

Daruk: Talk.

Revali: Talk?

Daruk: Talk.

Revali: HAAA!!! OMG THIS MAN IS KILLING ME!! TALK?!

Daruk: .........

Revali: You want to TALK?!

Link: Okay then that went smooth....

(Urbosa is back online)

Revali: What the hell do expect these morons to talk about???

Urbosa: Is he talking about me? I know Mr. Ravioli isn't talking about me.

Revali: Mr. Ravioli? Please babe, I'm an icon. Those nicknames don't bother me one bit anymore

Link: Guys please...

Urbosa: An icon to whom? Your mother? I find that hard enough to believe already.

Revali: I am more well know that you!!! Just remember that!!!

Link: Guys please just-

Urbosa: Ha! Everyone inside the Gerudo Desert knows who I am. Your little pip squeak village isn't even half the size of my town.

Daruk: Here we go again....

Revali: Oh yeah? Wanna bet???

Urbosa: Why would I waste my time on a flightless doofus like you?

Revali: WHY YOU-

Daruk: FOR CRYING OUT LOUD PLEASE SHUT UP FOR ONCE!!!!!!!!

Link: Thanks big guy

Daruk: Anytime Link

(Mipha is back online)

(Zelda is back online)

Revali: Hoo... looks like royalty finally decided to show their faces here

Zelda: .......

Urbosa: Sighing intensifies

Zelda: Why? Can I please ask, why?

Mipha: .......

Urbosa: Can't ever give a warm welcome to others, can you?

Revali: I'm a bird of many talents, and one of them is-

Urbosa: Obviously being a pain in everyone's butt, yeah.

Zelda: Okay so guys, I thought we were gonna take it easy this time

Mipha: I thought that too.....

Daruk: Well I wanted everyone to be here... we're all one big family you know.... I know we might not get along but... were in this together

Revali: .....

Mipha: ^^

Revali: ..... fine, I'll shut up....

Link: Wowza.

Urbosa: .....

Daruk: Look, we've been at each other's throats all these times. I thought we could take this chance to just hang out and talk about old times

Zelda: You know what, I like that idea

Mipha: Me too <3

Urbosa: I doubt it'll last long though

Revali: I can sense you all staring at me through the screens

Urbosa: You're getting smarter, I'll admit that.

Revali: Mmmmm......

Daruk: ... How about we talk about our times growing up? That should help us bond very well

Link: .......

Urbosa: Princess, I guess it would be appropriate for you to go first then

Zelda: Well, you don't have to say that... were all friends anyway

Urbosa: All of us?

Revali: :/

Zelda: ..... All of us..

Urbosa: Right..

Zelda: I really don't remember that much when I was born... I hardly have any memories

Daruk: How so? You've got to have a few stored up in your head

Zelda: Well, mom died at childbirth so... I have no memories of her... everything else shortly after that is foggy

Mipha: .... oh... I'm sorry to hear that.

Zelda: Don't be Mipha, we can't choose what course our life will take... it takes us wherever it wants to

Mipha: Yeah.... my mother died when she gave us Sidon... I sometimes miss her...

Revali: Great, things just took a wide turn to depression. Keep it up.

Daruk: -_-

Urbosa: And pretty feathers here happens to actually have a mother who helped raise him?

Revali: Yeah... bu-

Urbosa: Let them talk. These are times when others feel comfortable to open up about their challenges. Don't keep them from relieving their troubles.

Revali: .... Fine....

Zelda: Father really took it hard from her loss. While he did his best to raise me... most of the time, his presence was someplace else

Link: .......

Zelda: Daily, I was being subjected to endless lectures and assignments... it was a nightmare

Urbosa: You really seem to have had it hard Princess

Zelda: I did... but in my spare time, I would secretly study and read about ancient technology and stories... especially about the Sheikah...

Revali: Now I know why she's such a nerd frea-

Urbosa: Wait your turn Miss Ravioli

Revali: FFFFFFFFFFFF

Link: Hey, no cursing in my kid-friendly server

Revali: Please end me now.

Zelda: Anyway... father didn't approve of my researching and dismissed it as childish fantasies. He insisted I work harder on becoming a princess....

Mipha: I sometimes feel the same way Zelda

Zelda: Really?

Mipha: Being the next in line for the Zora throne, father can be a bit persistent on my royal duties, forcing me to put everything else aside.

Revali: Parents suck.

Mipha: Well... I don't know....

Revali: Mhm.

Urbosa: Says the middle age Rito who still lives in his mother's house. 

Revali: YOU BLEW MINE UP!!!!

Urbosa: I'm sorry, did someone say something? I swore I just heard someone whisper ever so slightly

Daruk: You're getting pretty good at this Urbosa

Urbosa: You know it ;)

Zelda: I'm pretty curious now. How has your life been, growing up as a Zora?

Mipha: It had it's ups and downs. I didn't really have friends growing up, and there wasn't much to do around the Domain

Revali: Self-explanatory

Mipha: ..... Muzu was instructed to give me swimming lessons every day....... they were brutal

Urbosa: All this from a young age? How old are you now?

Mipha: Um... let's see..... in Zora years... I'm 80.. and in Hylian years... I'm 16....

Link: Really?

Revali: Guess who finally decides to talk

Link: ....... Sweet Hylia.......

Mipha: But yeah..... I'm still fairly young...

Urbosa: I don't know but... I always thought of you and Zelda as little kids... like my children

Zelda: Aww... well, you've always been like a mother to me ^-^

Mipha: I mean... you two have always felt like family to me... really...

Daruk: It might be safe to say that were finally getting along just well

Link: Um maybe.....

Revali: Urbosa sounds like a stalker now that you mention it :)

Link: Yeah... I thought so.....

Urbosa: Sweetie, we have a better connection than you have with your mom

Revali: I wo-

(Link has muted Revali)

Urbosa: Um... okay?

Zelda: That's pretty sudden, but I'll take it

Daruk: How'd you do that Link?

Link: New update... I was at Impa's place  yesterday.  She programmed it herself

Daruk: Aha, nice work!

Zelda: I've been meaning to go to her place for a while but father wouldn't allow me

Urbosa: I promise that I'll come by the castle one day and we'll visit her village

Zelda: Thanks Urbosa ^^

Urbosa: Of course Princess

Mipha: So what about you Daruk? Do you have any stories to tell us?

Daruk: Well.....

Zelda: Come on Daruk, tell us some good stuff!

Daruk: There's not really much to tell. My life has been the same ever since I can remember

Mipha: How was it...?

Daruk: I'd always wake up, train with my dad, eat... train with my dad some more, then sleep....

Link: That sounds pretty boring

Daruk: It grew on me honestly. After I finally became an adult Goron, I was then allowed to venture off and have more freedom

Mipha: That's nice <3

Urbosa: Being an adult always brings out the benefits... now what about you Link?

Link: .... what?

Urbosa: Tell us about your times growing up, you know... your childhood

Zelda: Yeah Link, you never talked about your background

Link: .....

Urbosa: Come on Link, whatever is said stays only between us, I promise.

Link: Well........ I was born at a Ranch..... a small farm actually.. on the outskirts near Hryle Castle... father served as one of the King's personal knights

Mipha: Really?? That sounds wonde-

Link: He rarely came home because of his duties. I was always left home alone with mom until....

Mipha: ....

Zelda: Until...?

Link: I found out one day that I was having a baby brother.... sister.... but... when the day finally came.... she got really sick and it got difficult....

Mipha: Link.... it's okay... you don't have to...

Link: I don't know... I thought that.. maybe...

(Link has gone offline)

Mipha: ........

Daruk: That just... took an unexpected turn..

Zelda: This group chat is starting to make me think it's completely pointless

(Revali has gone offline)

Urbosa: I bet a certain blue Rito is happy how things are going along

Zelda: No kidding. I'm gonna head out now, father is calling for me

Urbosa: Alright sweetie, take care then!

Mipha: Bye...

Daruk: See ya Princess!

(Zelda has gone offline)

Urbosa: Sigh... Daruk, did you actually think that out of all the things, we could actually sit down and just talk?

Daruk: It was worth a try. But never again... I feel pretty depressed..

Mipha: Same.... and to think that we've had it rough?

(Mipha has gone offline)

Urbosa: Well... later then...

(Urbosa has gone offline)

Daruk: .....

(Daruk has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Zelda is back online)

(Mipha is back online)

(Urbosa is back online)

Zelda: Hey girls...

Urbosa: Sav'saaba Princess... Mipha

Mipha: Hi...

Zelda: I'm assuming you two have also heard about it?

Mipha: Yeah...

Urbosa: Just had a messenger tell me the news a few minutes ago

Zelda: Oh... well, at least we know. I guess there was nothing else to do but come on here

Urbosa: You think we should try to comfort him? Perhaps it'll help him feel better?

Zelda: I don't know. He's really....

Mipha: It's true, he hasn't responded to any of my texts all week

Urbosa: That's really sending a message. Same results with you Zelda?

Zelda: Not even that much. He won't even look me in the face.

Urbosa: Hmm.... that does sound... awful..

Mipha: This isn't like Link, he was really open about his problems before. Well, most of them...

Urbosa: The boy has gone through far worse, but I think the present circumstances really took their toll

Zelda: I really tried to convince my father otherwise, but there wasn't much choice he had either

Mipha: What happened anyway? I only heard the main part of the story...

Urbosa: Yeah, I think it's safe to tell us. None of the guys are hanging around, ready to pounce on us

Mipha: Especially you know who ^^

Urbosa: My point exactly

Zelda: Well... okay. I don't the reason, but Link's father died last week while Link was out on patrol. He didn't find out until the next day and... took it... pretty hard.

Urbosa: Anyone would, especially him

Mipha: ......

Zelda: Saria was out at Kakariko Village, so it took an entire day to bring her back. She too, took it hard.. but not as bad as Link, not even close.

Mipha: She sounds like a tough little girl...

Zelda: Saria really is a marvel... we arranged for the funeral and everything else, and on the same day... the Yiga had managed to infiltrate the Castle and stole the plans to defeating Gannon.

Urbosa: What?! They did what?!

Zelda: They sent two scouts disguised as high ranking guards. It was too easy for them

Mipha: Did anyone get hurt?

Zelda: A few of our guards were found dead... with the plans gone

Urbosa: Why didn't you get ahold of me? I could've taken care of them in an instant!

Zelda: I left my Shiekah Slate back in my room, and everyone started panicking. Link happened to be with us so father ordered him to track the Yiga scouts.

Mipha: On the day of his father's funeral?!

Zelda: Yeah... I tried to tell him to choose someone else but...

Urbosa: Unbelievable...

Zelda: We needed someone with experience who could track those scouts before they reached their hideout

Mipha: I... I understand but... still...

Urbosa: I still think the King should've asked for my assistance. I could've easily blocked all entry routes to their place

Zelda: He just wouldn't listen. Link tried to protest but... father threatened him with the fate of Hyrule and... yeah...

Mipha: That's cruel... really cruel...

Zelda: There was nothing we could do

Urbosa: What happened then?

Zelda: It took him two whole days, but Link managed to come back with the plans

Mipha: Was he okay?!?! Was he hurt???

Zelda: ........

Mipha: I mean... was Link fine...?

Zelda: He was, well... covered in a lot of red stuff an-

Urbosa: I think it's safe to assume we get the picture

Zelda: Alright, that was a bit too far I guess. Link did miss the funeral.

Mipha: :(

(Daruk is back online)

Mipha: Hi Daruk...

Urbosa: Hey Daruk! Glad to finally see you show up!

Zelda: Well um, how are things looking over there?

Daruk: Doing pretty good! Link's over here, hanging out with me!

Mipha: WHAT?!

Urbosa: Okay now... you said what again about Link? He's with you?

Daruk: Yeah. I was told the king sent him here to pick up several rare diamond for something

Zelda: Looks like father is into rock collections

Mipha: Has he been talking at all?

Daruk: Nope, hasn't said a single word the entire time. Not even a smile.

Mipha: Oh......

Daruk: Maybe I can tell him to come on here, I bet it'll make the little guy feel a little less troubled

Urbosa: I don't kn-

(Link is back online)

Urbosa: Okay.... hey Link?

Mipha: Link.....?

Daruk: Looks like you decided to join us after all ;)

Zelda: Hey... Link?

Urbosa: Hello?

Mipha: Are you still with us?

Zelda: He's not...

Mipha: Link, are you okay?

Link: Yea

Zelda: .....

Urbosa: Listen, we're here for you Link

Daruk: Yeah, we can talk about it if you want. If not, let's just hang out and forget our troubles, at least here.

Mipha: Come on... it's not the same here without you...

Daruk: Well, Revali isn't he-

Urbosa: Nobody wants him here, especially now. Or ever, actually.

Zelda: I like that better

Mipha: Why don't we take this slow.. let's see.. what did you all eat for lunch today..?

Daruk: I ate a big bowl of rocks!

Urbosa: Yeah... um, I had a dish of cooked beef with rice... like always

Zelda: Something with mushrooms and chicken, I can't remember exactly

Mipha: Link?

Daruk: Come on little dude, I know you had to eat something!

Link: Nothing

Mipha: .......

Urbosa: That's a good start..

Zelda: Well........ did anyone have any dreams last night?

Mipha: Ooh! I dreamed that I finally got to swim in the ocean with all the colorful fish in it!

Urbosa: Lovely ^^

Link: No

Mipha: What?

Zelda: ??

Link: :/

Urbosa: Okay then.....

Mipha: Do you want to talk about something else Link?

(Link has gone offline)

Mipha: .....

Zelda: Looks like everything went according to plan!

Mipha: I don't know what's wrong with him

Urbosa: Daruk, can you see what's the Hylian doing?

Daruk: Yeah, let me see.... he's... leaving.. didn't even say goodbye to anyone

Mipha: That isn't like him

Urbosa: Are you sure it's Link?

Daruk: I'd know my little guy anywhere

Zelda: You think the one might now what to do in a situation like this?

Urbosa: Please don't tell me

Zelda: I hate to admit it, but every time he's here... it's well... entertaining

Daruk: Are we talking about Revali here?

Urbosa: The one and only. Plus, you pronounce it Ravioli

Daruk: I'll keep that in mind

(Zelda added Revali back to Champion's Hangout)

Mipha: ....

Daruk: I'm still not ready for thi-

(Revali is back online)

Zelda: Um, hi Revali.. how are you doing?

Revali: Fine, just fine.

Urbosa: Anything new happen at your village?

Revali: No, the only news I heard was about Link's old man. He has my condolences.

Daruk: You seem to be much more considerable of others Rev

Urbosa: Finally come to your bird senses?

Revali: Ha ha very funny wide load.

Urbosa: .... yep, he's back alright

Revali: So what'd you add me back for? There's got to be a reason with you peasants

Zelda: We need... you have any advice what to with Link?

Mipha: You know, cheer him up a bit

Revali: Yeah, I've got the perfect solution

Daruk: And that is?

Revali: Yeet him off a cliff.

Zelda: REVALI!!!

Mipha: ....

Revali: What? He won't be a depressed brat anymore.

Urbosa: Come on, this is something serious!

Revali: Fine. Hey Mipha.

Mipha: Yeah...?

Revali: Send him some sexy photos of yourself. That'll get his adrenaline up and kicking.

Zelda: EXCUSE ME?!

Revali: You can join in too Princess, let's see who will win.

Zelda: THAT IS HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE! WE'RE NOT EVEN ADU-

Revali: Time's flying by, you wouldn't want Miss Sushi here to beat you to it, no?

Mipha: Princess....

Revali: I'll give it a day before they give in :)

(Revali has gone offline)

Mipha: .....

Zelda: Mipha, he's only acting like an idiot again. You wouldn't actually do that, right?

Mipha: .... no.....

Zelda: MIPHA I SWEAR TO HYLI-

(Mipha has gone offline)

Daruk: You know, I think I'd better check on the mines...

Zelda: THAT FISH ISN'T GOING TO WIN AGAIN!

Daruk: Yeah...

(Daruk has gone offline)

(Zelda has gone offline)

Urbosa: This chat is stupid.

(Urbosa has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Urbosa is back online)

(Zelda is back online)

Urbosa: Hey Princess, I suspected you couldn't respond to my messages

Zelda: Yeah... my Sheikah Slate has been acting a bit unusual lately

Urbosa: Well we can always chat here

Zelda: I suppose.. so what did you want to ask me? ^^

Urbosa: Are you free tomorrow afternoon?

Zelda: As far as I know, yeah. Father didn't say anything concerning my training.

Urbosa: Splendid! I want you to help turn Revali into a scarecrow

Zelda: Sorry, a what?!

Urbosa: A scarecrow. He crossed the line again.

Zelda: Of course he did... what did Miss Banana Beak do this time?

Urbosa: Several rumors were spread throughout Gerudo town yesterday... something about me being in love with a certain Rito.

Zelda: Let me guess, that Rito was none other than our Revali?

Urbosa: Yes, the entire situation was a complete nightmare

Zelda: How did the rumour even start in the first place?

Urbosa: Oh, it was none other than Revali and his dirty schemes

Zelda: Why am I not surprised. We can do it tonight if you want to, I can bring some sleeping pills

Urbosa: Perfect, we're going to finally enjoy ourselves at his suffering

Zelda: Yeah... though you might want to delete the messages now or something before he sees them

Urbosa: Already did ;)

Zelda: ^-^

(Link is back online)

Zelda: Hi Link!!!

Urbosa: Sav'saaba Link

(Link added Paya to Champion's Hangout)

(Link added Sidon to Champion's Hangout)

(Link added Purah to Champion's Hangout)

Zelda: Um, okay...?

Urbosa: Link, what are you doing?

(Sidon is back online)

Urbosa: Hold up a second...

Sidon: Ooh hi everyone!!!

Urbosa: IT'S THE LITTLE ZORA!!!!! :D

Zelda: Awww it's actually him!!

Sidon: Hey, I'm not little!! I'm a big Zora!

Urbosa: Heh, alright little... I mean big guy, whatever you say!

Sidon: :D

Zelda: So how are you doing Sidon?

Sidon: Aww today is a blast! Link came over to visit us!

Zelda: He did?

Sidon: Yeah! Me and my sister are just hanging out with him at the Lake!

Urbosa: He sure is really impressive at typing so well...

Zelda: That's nice to hear... um... how are you texting on the chat?

Sidon: Well.... Link...

Link: Gave him a Shiekah Slate.

Zelda: A what?!?!

Urbosa: I didn't know there were more

Zelda: Where did you get another Link???

Urbosa: Um... he's not responding

Zelda: Link, answer me you Hylian!!!

Urbosa: A bit unnecessary...

Link: Impa.

Zelda: Oh... okay, makes sense I guess.. sorry..

Urbosa: Who's Impa again? I'm losing my marbles here...

Zelda: She's a member of the Sheikah Tribe... you know, the descendants of those engineers that built the Divine Beasts and Guardians

Urbosa: Ah, I remember now!

Sidon: Hey Link, let's play tag with sis! I bet you can't catch up to us this time!

Link: ^^

(Link has gone offline)

Zelda: ........

Urbosa: Don't worry Princess, I'm su-

(Link is back online)

Urbosa: Nevermind.

Link: Shh... Link's in the water with Mipha. I got on his tablet :D

Urbosa: Why would you do that?

Link: He keeps blushing when looking at his tablet, I want to find out why.

Zelda: Ooh, I'd like to see this!

Link: Ohhhhhh... I see why!!!!

Urbosa: What is it dear?

Link: I knew it! She likessssssss him!!!

Zelda: Who...?

Link: Yikes! Link and Mipha are running at me! I'll send it really quick!

Zelda: Send wha-

Link:

Zelda: .........

(Link has gone offline)

Urbosa: Princess.....

Zelda: .....

Urbosa: I thought you two were joking last time about sending suggestive photos to him but.....

(Mipha is back online)

(Link is back online)

Mipha: What was Sidon doing on... your....

Link: .... sweet Hylia...

Mipha: I um, forgot about that one.. I thought you deleted it or.....

Link: I'm screwed.

Zelda: LINK! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!

Link: I can ex-

Zelda: YOU'RE FLIRTING WITH A FISH

(Revali is back online)

Link: .......

Revali: I don't know what's going on, but please continue

Zelda: HOW COULD YOU?!?!

Urbosa: Zelda please, perhaps this is all a misun-

Revali: Nah, I'm actually enjoying this :)

Mipha: I'm gonna kill Sidon

Revali: That's right!!! Wait, who's Sidon again?

Zelda: HER LITTLE BROTHER WHO THANK HYLIA, SHOWED ME THAT PICTURE

Revali: What pic..... oh...... I see!!!

Link: End me.

Revali: Mipha finally bringing out the real stuff here!!! Nice and spicy!!!!

Mipha: .......

(Purah is back online)

Purah: Yes! It works!!

Link: Not now....

Zelda: ..... Purah?

Urbosa: Who is...?

Zelda: Another Shiekah member

Purah: Brilliant! It looks like photos can be shared as well!

Revali: We knew that long ago doofus

Zelda: Um... please excuse...

Purah: Eh, who is this Revali?

Urbosa: You don't want to know.

Purah: Hmm, oh well then.

Zelda: What are you doing here?

Purah: Link added me to your chat, no? Or was that an accident?

Link: No....

Purah: I also wanted to show you a surprise Princess!

Zelda: I'd love to see it...

Purah: Alright, click snap!!

Purah:

Zelda: What?! How?!?!

Link: !!!!

Revali: Hate to break it to you but... this chat ain't PG enough for you sweet cheeks

Zelda: She's older than you Rev.

Revali: What?!

Urbosa: I think he's slow to understanding it, like usual

Zelda: Could you explain, Purah?

Purah: I'm experimenting how to make myself look younger, yet retain my actual age.

Urbosa: I'm a bit confused, sorry.

Purah: No worries! I don't know much myself... the potion should wear off soon anyway.. I wonder if I can make it last forever?

Zelda: Well, whatever you're doing, keep it up!

Purah: Of course, I'll be off to experiment some more. Have a great one!!

Zelda: Bye!

Link: ... bye..

Urbosa: ^^

(Purah has gone offline)

Zelda: Now where was I?

Revali:

Revali: Maybe this shot I took the other day can rekindle some of that action

Mipha: !!!!

Link: Damn you...

Zelda: .....

(Daruk is back online)

Zelda: LINK WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?

Link: It's not wha-

Mipha: Princess please....

Daruk: Yeah, I'm out of here.

(Daruk has gone offline)

Zelda: At least now I know where you spend all your free time now!

Urbosa: Zelda, why are you so upset over them spending some time together?

Zelda: Because... because...

Revali: You want to have kids with him?

Zelda: I LIKE LINK!!!

Link: ....

Mipha: .....

Urbosa: We kinda knew that Princess

Revali: But you do act like a spoiled brat about it. Keep up the performance though!

Urbosa: Shutup!!

Revali: :p

Zelda: I just.. is it so wrong to have feelings for someone?

Link: Maybe if you acted more mature about the issue.. maybe then I would act differently too.

Mipha: .....

Revali: He's finally talking.. the shocks!

Zelda: W-What?

Link: Mipha never made a big fit about the problem before.. she just acts normal.. which attracts me to her

Zelda: ......

Link: Don't get me wrong, I still like you as a friend but, you have to let go of those jealous feelings first.

Urbosa: He's right. Give it a rest for a few days, then start fresh. It's not like they're getting married or something

Revali: Or are they???

Mipha: ......

Revali: I thought so ;)

Mipha: I mean, I don't mind if they end up together. I'm just happy to spend time with Link.... together...

Zelda: .....

Link: You have to change first. I'm telling you all this, as a friend would.

Zelda: .... ok....

(Paya is back online)

Urbosa: What now?

Link: Paya?

Paya: Um... hi Link...

Revali: Who's this chick?

Link: Hey... did the experiment actually work?

Paya: Yeah...... the aging potion worked perfectly...

Urbosa: Wait, what's going on?

Link: You know Purah?

Urbosa: I guess.. she said that she used some potion to make herself look younger so...

Zelda: ....

Link: Yesterday, Purah told me she was working on another potion that can rapidly increase someone's age, making them older.

Zelda: So Paya is actually...?

Link: You remember her mom, right?

Zelda: Yeah, didn't she have a little baby...?

Link: Bingo, you're on the same track now

Revali: What are you all rambling about here?

Urbosa: Pay attention pip squeak

Link: Paya, are you with Purah now?

Paya: Yeah....

Link: Quick, tell her to take a picture of you and send it to us!

Paya: Okay.....

Mipha: Link?

Link: Yes Mipha?

Mipha: Is sh-

Paya:

Link: Oh....... wow.....

Paya: Do I look... okay?

Link: You look.... amazing.. I never thought that....

Mipha: .....

Revali: You hear that?

Urbosa: What now?

Revali: That's the sound of jealousy... from two individuals

Zelda: ......

(Mipha has gone offline)

(Zelda has gone offline)

Link: Was it something I said?

Urbosa: Definitely something you said

Revali: My boy still has that kick in him.. I'm so proud...

Paya: Maybe I shouldn't...

Link: No no, you're fine!

Paya: Maybe another time..

(Paya has gone offline)

Link: Damn it.

(Link has gone offline)

Revali: So.... look who's left alone with good old Revali!

Urbosa: Ugh, get lost you freak.

(Urbosa has gone offline)

Revali: Aww come on! I was about to say something nice!

(Revali has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Mipha is back online)

Mipha: Hey guys...

(Urbosa is back online)

Urbosa: Mipha sweetie! How are you doing???

Mipha: Fine... I guess...

Urbosa: Is something wrong Mipha?

Mipha: No, I mean... yeah, everything is okay..

Urbosa: Listen, if there's anything you want to talk about, I'm here

Mipha: Well.....

Urbosa: Has Revali been bugging you again?

Mipha: .....

Urbosa: If he did, I'll march straight over to his place and fry him on the spot

Mipha: No... he sent me a picture

Urbosa: A picture of what?

Mipha:

Urbosa: Oh....... my....

Mipha: Yeah.

Urbosa: H-How...?

(Revali is back online)

Revali: Greeting from your one and on-

Urbosa: REVALI!!!

Revali: Sheesh, not even a simple hello? What's wrong with you Gerudo nowadays?

Urbosa: Where in Naboris did you get that picture from???

Revali: No idea what your talking about babe

Urbosa: You know exactly what I'm talking about feather cheeks

Revali: Hmm? Ohhhh, that one!!

Mipha: ......

Revali: I was resting under a bridge and happened to hear them walking above me.

Urbosa: What a coincidence

Revali: But hey, I got plenty more photos of then two :)

Urbosa: That will be enough Revali

Revali:

Urbosa: WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!

Mipha: .......

Urbosa: Hey Mipha, perhaps they were just, you know...

Mipha: No, it's fine

Revali: Please preach it

Mipha: I actually followed them around a lot these past few days... they've been spending a lot of time together

Revali: Ah, so you've been stalking them two?

Mipha: No no!!! I was just... out exploring

Revali: Mhm, exploring for ways how to kill wittle Zelda welda

Urbosa: THIS IS THE LAST WARNING!!

Mipha: ......

Revali: Tch, fineeee

Mipha: Link has been smiling a lot of the time around her now... he barely visits me anymore... and doesn't smile that often either

Urbosa: Maybe he's just assigned to the Princess a lot more and is better acquainted to her now

Mipha: I guess... kinda saw this coming

Revali: There's better fish out there for you anyway

Urbosa: Was that a pun?

Revali: Maybe... maybe not?

Mipha: No, he's right. Link and Zelda are both Hylians... and very close friends. I'm just a Zora, I belong with my people

Urbosa: You're not wrong but, if you do love him...

Revali: Hey Urbosa, which side are you on anyway?

Urbosa: I'm on the side where everyone  is happy!

Revali: Well wake up for once and realize that only one side will be happy here

Mipha: He's right, Urbosa...

Revali: Thank you, that will be 500 rupees

Mipha: For what...?

Revali: My indisputably good advice

Mipha: ......

Urbosa: I think you should give it a rest for now Mipha... maybe Zelda's attitude has changed towards Link

Revali: I spot a 5 letter word called marriage

Urbosa: That's not what I exactly meant but... let's just allow things go their course and see what happens

Mipha: Okay.....

Revali: See? Now we're all happy, thanks to me :D

Urbosa: If only.

(Daruk is back online)

Urbosa: Hey Daruk!

Daruk: What's shaking everyone???

(Link is back online)

(Zelda is back online)

Zelda: Hi everyone!!!

Link: ^^

Urbosa: Hey you two!

Daruk: What are my favorite Hylians up to?

Zelda: Oh, nothing much!

Revali: Really?

Zelda: Well, me and Link visited this fair and had so much fun!!

Link: <3

Mipha: That's nice to hear...

Daruk: Aww... make sure to tell me next time so I can join too!

Zelda: I'll invite you all whenever there is another fair here ^-^

Urbosa: You seem quite happy today Princess, I'm liking that energetic spirit!

Zelda: Oh... the last few days were very enjoyable for me

Revali: Cough cough cough

Link: ??

Revali: *Muffled giggles increase*

Zelda: Um, I'm sorry what?

Link: ....

Mipha: .....

Daruk: Can I please just drive my club through his hollow skull?

Urbosa: Please do. Revali would appreciate you putting him out of his misery.

Revali: Hey whoa whoa now! I'm trying to help our situation here!

Zelda: What situation?

Mipha: N-Nothing at all! Revali doesn't know what he's talking about!

Revali: .-.

Zelda: Okay then... how are you all doing?

Daruk: Not bad, just relaxing from all the training we had to do.

Urbosa: Same... Naboris got a bit hard to control lately

Revali: Ha, getting rusty there? How can we depend on you in a tough situation?

Urbosa: You know, I wonder if Naboris's laser range can reach all the way to your house...

Zelda: I think it can actually

Revali: ........

Zelda: Anyway... I also wanted to tell you all that Link got appointed as a knight!!!

Mipha: W-Wait... really?

Link: Mhm

Daruk: That's awesome! I'm proud of you little guy!

Urbosa: Congratulations Link!

Link: ^^

Revali: Hmph.

Urbosa: Ran out of snappy comebacks?

Revali: Nah, I think I'll let Link enjoy this one for once...

Zelda: That's nice of you :)

Urbosa: So.. what does Link do now that he's a knight?

Zelda: Father assigned him as my personal guard at all times

Revali: Ooh la la!

Link: ......

Daruk: Forgive me for being blunt here but, isn't that pretty boring during certain times?

Zelda: Oh yes, most definitely.. but I decided to make our time together more memorable

Revali: Define "memorable"

Zelda: Visiting fairs... riding horses.... picking flowers...

Revali: Picking flowers... a great activity I bet

Zelda: We also went swimming today!☺

Link: ^^

Revali: Swimming, ayy?

Zelda: What?

Revali: This reminds me of something

Link: .......

Revali: 🎶First comes the kiss🎶

Link: Stop.

Revali: 🎶Then comes the wedding🎶

Mipha: .......

Daruk: Revali, please chill out

Revali: 🎶Then comes a baby riding in a carriage🎶

Zelda: .... wait, are you taking about..?

Revali: You know it sugar lips ;)

Urbosa: Pervert.

Revali: Hold up now Urbosa, everyone can share me. One at a time

Urbosa: You're disgusting

Zelda: Well... I know it might be a bit early but... I mean...

Link: ^^

Mipha: ......

Daruk: Okay so...

Zelda: Oops, father just called me for dinner, I'll see you all tomorrow!

Urbosa: Alright, have a good night Zelda!

Daruk: Say hi to the King for me

Mipha: Bye...

Link: Bye Zelda

Zelda: Bye Link!❤

Link: ❤

(Zelda has gone offline)

Revali: Whoa, way to go tiger! You got her quick!

Link: Um.... yeah

Urbosa: Now that she's gone... what exactly happened between you two?

Revali: I know what happened :)

Daruk: We don't need to arrive to that conclusion yet

Link: Well....

Mipha: .......

Link: Zelda... she changed... towards me... towards everything

Mipha: How so?

Urbosa: O-O

Link: She's really nice and sweet now... cheerful... her jealousy from before, it all disappeared

Daruk: Wow, the Princess really took a change for the better!

Urbosa: Indeed

Revali: Ehh, whatever. What did you think of them Mipha? They would look really cute together, right?

Mipha: .. um...

Link: Is everything alright Mipha?

Mipha: Y-Yeah... no, I mean... nevermind..

Revali: She wants to have your kids Link

(Mipha kicked Revali out of Champions Hangout)

Daruk: You know, I think I'll leave...

(Daruk has gone offline)

Link: .....

Mipha: Um, Link...? Do you... do you like me?

Link: Do I like you? Of course I do! You're one of my closest friends!

Mipha: Oh... friends... okay...

Link: Wait, did you really think tha-

Mipha: Yeah, I actually thought we might have a future together

Urbosa: I'll give you two some time alone...

(Urbosa has gone offline)

Link: I don't understand

Mipha: What happened when you said you had feelings for me... when you saved my life... when you loved me?

Link: .... Maybe I was kinda um, uncertain about my feelings then...

Mipha: Ah.

Link: I mean... Zelda likes me... and the more time I spend with her, the more I realize that I like her too

Mipha: Well like I said, I wouldn't oppose to your decision. I just wished you would have told me sooner.

Link: But I didn't know yo-

Mipha: Link, did I ever tell you about the Zora armor?

Link: Umm... I can't remember...

Mipha: I made it for you. I'm sure you can at least remember what they're meant for

Link: Zora armor... meaning... oh, wait

Mipha: Yeah

(Mipha has gone offline)

Link: She actually wanted to marry me?

(Link has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Link is back online)

Link: .....

(Mipha is back online)

Mipha: Oh... hi Link...

Link: Um, hey Mipha..

Mipha: How are you?

Link: Good... you?

Mipha: Fine... I guess....

Link: That's nice to hear...

(Revali joined Champions Hangout)

Mipha: .......

Link: Wait..

Revali: I've seen little kids communicate better than you two saps

Mipha: How did you.. join?

Revali: Someone sent me an invite

Mipha: But then wh-

Revali: Oh, I don't know :)

Mipha: Plea-

(Revali changed Mipha's name to I want Link)

Link: ......

I want Link: AHH CHANGE IT BACK!!!

Revali: Fine fine, but only if you say please ;)

I want Link: Please......

(Revali changed I want Link's name to Link's Fishlover)

Link: ;-;

Link's Fishlover: WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!

(Revali made Link's Fishlover's name permanent)

Link's Fishlover: AHHHHHHHHHH

Link: ....

(Revali changed Link's name to Zelda is my Waifu)

Zelda is my Waifu: WHAT THE HELL REVALI

Revali: You know it's true :D

Zelda is my Waifu: But don't do it in front of her!!

Mipha: ......

Revali: Why not? Got to make things spicy here

Link's Fishlover: Link doesn't even like me!!!!

Zelda is my Waifu: Wait...

Revali: No no, please continue Mipha dear. I have to write this all down.

Link's Fishlover: YOU'RE NOT HELPING :'(

(Urbosa is back online)

Urbosa: ...... What in Naboris is going on here???

Revali: Nothing at all

Urbosa: Oh come on, cut it out Revali.. do you know what today even is?

Revali: The day you realize that Zelda is actually your biological daughter?

Urbosa: ........

Revali: I just had you exposed

Urbosa: I swear I'll eat you alive in front of your mother

Revali: Whoa whoa whoa now! We have children here!!!

Zelda is my Waifu: I'm 17.

Urbosa: Please change Mipha's name.

Zelda is my Waifu: What about me?

Urbosa: We all know you want to keep it.

Revali: Alright, fine.. BUT only because I'm a nice guy

Urbosa: The reason you're still here is because I'm a nice little, wittle girl

Revali: ....

(Revali changed Link's Fishlover name to Mipha)

Revali: There, happy?

Zelda is my Waifu: What about me???

(Revali changed Zelda is my Waifu's name to owo)

owo: WHAT IS THIS?!?!?!?

Urbosa: Wait, keep it like that.. I think I like it...

owo: @?#¥";=(@-)'dheaiwn

Urbosa: Anyway... WHAT I WAS TRYING TO SAY... is that today is Zelda's birthday

Revali: Well that's news

Mipha: That's nice to hear...

owo: .... my name looks stupid

Revali: Sush.

Urbosa: I just wanted to ask you all to act like normal today... please...

Revali: Is she legal now?

Urbosa: I don't know, why don't you ask her that yourself?

Revali: Maybe I will >.>

(Daruk is back online)

Urbosa: You're a sight for sore eyes...

Daruk: Don't worry, I know what today is

Revali: Help me make her day memorable, okay?

Daruk: Come on Rev, knock it off at least today...

Revali: No promises :)

(Zelda is back online)

Urbosa: Happy birthday Princess!!!!!

Daruk: A warm happy birthday from big old Daruk as well!!!

Zelda: Awww thank you so much you all!!!

Revali: Meh, happy birthday I guess

Zelda: I appreciate that too Revali ^^

Revali: Phh...

owo: Happy birthday Zelda ❤❤❤

Zelda: Aww thank you too Link! ❤

owo: ^^

Zelda: Um... you are Link... right?

owo: Mhm, Revali is still acting like a asinine jerk

Revali: HEYYYY

Urbosa: Ooo, he actually said it!

Zelda: Well I don't mind the name <3

Mipha: ........

Revali: Can you lovebirds please stop? It's getting pretty cringey.

Mipha: Yeah...

Daruk: Hey Rev, let them have a little fun

Urbosa: It's her birthday anyway so... come on...

Mipha: .......

(Saria is back online)

owo: Wait a minute....

Saria: Huy evuryone!! :D

Zelda: Saria!!! 

Saria: Yur here too! Happy Burtday Zulda!!!

Zelda: Thank you so much sweetie!

Urbosa: It's Link's sister!!!!!

Saria: Ohh evuryone us here!!!

owo: How did you even get on her anyway?

Saria: Impa guve me one of those tublets last week

owo: And you didn't tell me???

Saria: No.. I knew you would tuke it frum me

Urbosa: Hmm... has big bad Link been treating you poorly?

owo: HEYYY

Saria: Sumtimes... he wunt let me pluy un the watur...

Urbosa: Well I assume someone won't agree with that, right Mipha?

Mipha: Link... let her play in the water. She's old enough.

owo: Bu-

Mipha: I'm serious. Every child needs to be around water.

owo: ......

Zelda: How has it been living with your older brother Saria?

Saria: He tukes gud care of me! Und his cooking us dulucious!!!!

Zelda: His... cooking..?

Daruk: Oh no....

Urbosa: LINK!!! YOU'LL KILL THE SWEET CHILD!!!

owo: Hey, she actually eats it unlike you guys

Mipha: .......

Revali: Yeah, because I actually plan on living

Urbosa: Don't worry honey, Aunt Urbosa will come on over next week and cook you a nice big plate of steak!

Saria: Ooo I cunt wait!!! 

Urbosa: ^^

Saria: Wull I'll huve to go! I'm making Zulda a presunt!!!

(Saria has gone offline)

Zelda: She's so precious... you're lucky to have such an angel as a sister Link

owo: I guess....

Urbosa: I'm sure you'll develop your parenting skills much faster now

Revali: Maybe they'll come in handy... I heard baby Zoras are rather feisty

owo: The hell???

Zelda: Well um... Link... how was your day?

owo: My name will probably be enough to explain

Zelda: I still think it looks cute ^^

owo: I guess..... heh.. 

Revali: You know, I've had enough of this

owo: Huh?

Revali: This is unfair and sickening

Urbosa: Anyway... what will you be doing today Princess?

Zelda: Well, Link will be with me today so, we'll be visiting a horse show

Urbosa: Ooo, that sounds pretty exciting!

Zelda: Then he'll take me at this new restaurant that just opened up

owo: ^^

Zelda: So um Revali? Can you change his name back?

Revali: Why should I do that?

Zelda: Please?

Revali: Tch, fine.

(Revali changed owo's name to Zelda's SugarDaddy)

Zelda: Okay what?!?!?

Zelda's SugarDaddy: WHAT DID I TELL YOU BEFORE?

Mipha: .........

Revali: Don't worry fishsticks, I got you ;)

Mipha: .... okay...?

Zelda: This feels really weird... I hope you don't hate me or something Mipha..

Mipha: No... I don't hate you... I just...

Revali: She just hates your guts since you're stealing her man :D

Mipha: W-What I d-don't hate her... I...

Reavli: Want her dead? Come on, I want to see a Princess duel!

Urbosa: REVALI!!!!!

Daruk: .....

Revali: Sushi Princess vs Crybaby Princess

Zelda's SugarDaddy: Please kill me.

Zelda: Thank you but... I already have plans so....

Daruk: I'm gonna leave before this hits the next level. I wish you a wonderful happy birthday Princess!

Zelda: Aww thank you! I wish you a wonderful day as well!

Daruk: ^-^

(Daruk has gone offline)

Zelda: So Link, when will you be coming by to pick me up?

Mipha: ......

Revali: Whoa whoa whoa! What is this now, a date???

Zelda: No one asked you.

Zelda's SugarDaddy: I'm actually on my wa-

Revali: Well let's make this a double date!

Zelda: ???

Mipha: ....?

Urbosa: My head hurts just thinking how that would work

Zelda's SugarDaddy: What do you mean Rev?

Revali: Why me and Mipha can join you two! Isn't that right your majesty?

Mipha: ... when did we ever... start dati-

Revali: Splendid! I'll fly ahead and get us some reservations!

Urbosa: You're scaring me

Zelda: Same.

Zelda's SugarDaddy: Hold up here... SINCE WHEN WERE YOU TWO TOGETHER?!?!

Mipha: Um.....

Revali: Ever since you slapped her in the face and ditched her

Zelda's SugarDaddy: I didn't do that...

Urbosa: He's obviously lying. There's no proof to back it up.

Revali:

Zelda's SugarDaddy: WHAT THE HELL

Mipha: ........

Revali: Don't we look cute together?

Urbosa: Still don't believe it. That shot could've been taken from any of our meetings.

Revali:

Zelda: Okay now...... that's disturbing....

Zelda's SugarDaddy: HEY NOW WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT THIS?!

Mipha: .... I di-

Revali: Because she knew that you didn't care about her so.... >:D

Mipha: ;-;

Urbosa: Mipha... how could you actually... with him?!

Mipha: ........

Zelda's SugarDaddy: That's it, I'm coming over there right now.

Revali: Jealous?

Zelda: But Link, what about ou-

Zelda's SugarDaddy: ...... You'll have to wait a little...

Zelda: .......

(Zelda's SugarDaddy has gone offline)

Urbosa: I'm actually having a nightmare

Revali: Think of it more as a dream :)

Urbosa: You and your disgusting expressions....

Zelda: Ohh... I get it... I see what you did now...

Mipha: .....?

Zelda: You're actually helping Mipha get to Link?

Revali: Why would I be doing that?

Zelda: Well two can play at that game

(Zelda has gone offline)

Urbosa: Look at the mess you've just created. Especially on her birthday!

Revali: Ehh, how old was she anyway?

Urbosa: You're stupid.

(Urbosa has gone offline)

Mipha: .......

Revali: Hey, you good?

Mipha: Y-Yeah... I guess... thanks for... you know.. helping me..

Revali: Well I.... forget what I was saying

Mipha: So I guess we'll see until tomorrow?

Revali: Oh yeah, most definitely. He'll be going crazy now 

Mipha: It feels pretty wrong but....

Revali: Nah, for Link, it's fair game

Mipha: ^^

(Mipha has gone offline)

(Revali has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Link is back online)

(Urbosa is back online)

Urbosa: Alright Link, just had to take care of some stuff.. what's up?

Link: I want to die.

Urbosa: Okay? You want to come over for a Noble Pursuit to cheer you up?

Link: .....

Urbosa: It'll be on me this round

Link: I think I'll pass... besides, I'm still not legal to drink that stuff anyway...

Urbosa: You had 15 last time

Link: Okay... maybe I was bit depressed then

Urbosa: The bar tender almost busted us. If I didn't say you were my cousin, you would've been toast.

Link: Not sure how that actually worked

Urbosa: She barely hears anyway

Link: Yeah well....

Urbosa: Anyway, what ails you?

Link: These girls..... they're so....

Urbosa: Zelda and Mipha?

Link: PAYA TOO!!!!!

Urbosa: Wait, what?

Link: What I said.....

Urbosa: You seem to be a magnet

Link: It's tiring honestly...

Urbosa: Well don't you like any of them?

Link: Umm....

(Revali is back online)

Link: ......

Urbosa: I'll never hear the end of this one....

Revali: Calm your booty Urbosa, I'm not gonna roast you

Urbosa: EXcuse me WHAT THE HELL???

Link: >.>

Revali: Don't worry, I'm past all that.

Link: Say what?

Urbosa: Did you drink another potion from that weird monster moron?

Revali: Who? My dear Kilton?

Link: Hylia, end me.

Revali: But to answer your question, no, I haven't.

Urbosa: Then... what...?

Revali: I decided to change my act, that's all.

Link: Am I in the other life?

Revali: You're still stuck with me here in Hyrule buddy boy, no escape for you.

Link: ......

Urbosa: Well now, I don't know what to say but... this might sound promising, for once.

Revali: Of course :)

Urbosa: As if I'd believe you. I'm still keeping my eye on your feathery... feathery....

Link: Keep it kid-friendly here

Urbosa: Mark my words, one day I'll snap and we'll enter the adult world

Link: ......

Revali: Anyway, let's bring the chat back into the flow, you were discussing a difficult situation, right Link?

Link: You know, I liked him better before.

Revali: ?

Link: You sound like my therapist

Revali: Why can't I be one? I'm an expert in relationships!

Urbosa: Your relationship being who exactly?

Revali: Mipha ;)

Link: I'm suddenly having a strong urge to snap someone's wish bone

Revali: No worries, were just friends now

Urbosa: I do hope you were joking back then

Revali: Yeah, I would never get in between Link and his sushi roll

Link: She's not sushi!!

Revali: Mmm... fish with Hylian.. a perfect combination

Link: STOP

Revali: Haha, alright then

Urbosa: I wonder where the others are... they should really meet this new Revali

Revali: I'm flattered my dear

Urbosa: Hey, don't push your luck

(Zelda is back online)

Urbosa: Princess!!

Zelda: Hello everyone, how are we doing?

Link: ...... okay I guess?

Zelda: I'm glad to hear that.

Urbosa: You doing well Zelda?

Zelda: What do you mean?

Urbosa: Well... you sounded a bit serious there

Zelda: Ah.. yeah.. I'm just trying talk a bit more mature... since I turned 17, I can finally visit the Springs of Wisdom

Urbosa: Ah... I remember you mentioning that once

Zelda: Mhm, I've been preparing my whole life for this moment

Link: When will we have to go?

Zelda: Sometimes next week I believe, or when I think I'm ready...

Urbosa: You can do it Princess

Link: No pressure

Revali: Of course dear, just take it nice and easy, just a stroll through the park

Zelda: Um.. who is that?

Revali: I am me

Zelda: ?

Link: The hell?

Revali: Oh grow up you ignorant teenagers

Urbosa: That's.... our Revali

Zelda: What's wrong with him?

Revali: What do you mean what's wrong with me?

Link: Everything.

Zelda: Pretty much

Revali: Tsk tsk... you all are so rude

(Sidon is back online)

Urbosa: O.O

Link: Ay Sidon!!

Sidon: Hey everyone!!!!!

Zelda: Hiya Sidon!

Revali: W'sup

Urbosa: Ooo it's little... I mean big old Sidon!!

Sidon: ^^

Link: Where's your sister?

Sidon: Oh Mipha? She's just staying in the water, sad :(

Link: I'm sorry to hear that

Zelda: Well....

Urbosa: How long has this been going on?

Sidon: A week now

Revali: Well well... wasn't that when we had that interesting feud?

Link: .....

Zelda: I don't remember

Revali: You never showed up to our double date :)

Link: Well yeah but... me and Zelda decided to have a picnic instead

Revali: Ohhh

Sidon: Wait, who's Revali dating?

Urbosa: He's not exactly dat-

Revali: Your sister I believe

Sidon: ........

Link: This just got awkward

Sidon: Well you seem like a cool guy! Maybe not as cool as Link, but still cool!

Revali: I'll take that as a compliment

Link: .......

Sidon: Sis also forgot her tablet in her room :D

Revali: I like where this is heading. You are learning very well my apprentice

Urbosa: If you ruin the angel, I'll eat you alive and raw

Zelda: We have children here....

Urbosa: Oh, I forgot

Sidon: Ooo, sis has some really good pictures here!

Zelda: Okay...?

Revali: Show them.

Link: No.

Revali: Yes

Link: No.

Revali: Yes.

Link: No.

Sidon:

Zelda: .......

Revali: Ooh!

Link: .......

Revali: Mipha sure looks cute, doesn't she Link?

Zelda: Please stop, I don't want to go through this

Link: ......

(Paya is back online)

Urbosa: Hmm...? Oh, it's Paya!

Paya: Um.... hello everyone, I hope I'm not interrupting....

Revali: Nonsense! You joined at the right time!

Paya: .... okay...

Link: Hey Paya... sorry I didn't visit the village last night. I was out on patrol

Paya: That's fine.....

Revali: >.>

Paya: ...?

Sidon: Ooo I bet she likes you!!!!!!

Link: What?!

Paya: Um... w-what?

Link: This is ridiculous

Sidon: I just found some more pictures!!!

Zelda: STOP

Urbosa: He's so sweet......

Sidon:

Link: Wait... where did she even....

Revali: Ooh!!! Where have you been swimming these days?

Link: ;-;

Paya: Maybe I can...

Sidon: Sis labeled that one with a heart... along with a dozen more pictures of you

Link: ?!?!?!?

Urbosa: I'm getting too old for this...

(Urbosa has gone offline)

Sidon: Link's mostly shirtless in them...

Zelda: Okay, NOW I'm concerned

Revali: Looks like somebody is stalking you ;)

Link: Ahhhh stop!!!

Paya: Um... Link?

Link: YES???

Paya: Nevermind....

Revali: Sheesh, talk about being rude

Link: Oh, sorry Paya... what was it?

Paya: I made a drawing of you... thought you'd... maybe want to see it?

Link: A drawing of me? Sure!!

Zelda: ...

Paya:

Link: Wow.... that's.... really good!!!

Paya: Y-you really think so?

Link: Sure! You got everything right in there!

Zelda: .....

(Zelda has gone offline)

Revali: Someone is jealous!

Link: .....

Paya: I feel like maybe I'm in your way...

Link: No no no, you're not in anyone's way!

Sidon: Oh no... sis is just got out of the water...

Paya: .......?

Sidon: I'll show this one more picture she has :D

Link: Wai-

Sidon:

Revali: This Zora isn't so innocent as we thought

Link: Sweet Hylia...

Revali: She even got some of your abs ;)

Sidon: Everyone seems to like Link for some reason, but I wouldn't mind to have him as a brother-in-law

Link: ......

Revali: Meaning.... hehehe, some Hylian is going to be busy tonight

Link: Wait, shutup...

Sidon: Um.....

Paya: Perhaps...

(Paya has gone offline)

Revali: I'm starting to like this guy

Sidon: Who, me?

Revali: Heck yeah, you rock ;D

Sidon: Aww thanks!!

Link: ......

Sidon: Well I'll see you two then... Mipha is about to come in

Link: Yeah....

(Sidon has gone offline)

Link: This chat is starting to get stupid

Revali: Nah, I think it's doing just fine

Link: Screw you

(Link has gone offline)

Revali: Phh, some people just don't appreciate it when you decide to go easy on them

(Revali has gone offline)

(Mipha is back online)

Mipha: ......

(Daruk is back online)

Mipha: Hey Daruk...

Daruk: What's up Mipha?

Mipha: Well.... try reading the conversations up above...

Daruk: Oh no....

Mipha: This is getting ridiculous. I just wish Link would get together with Zelda and stop hurting me

Daruk: I wish it would end soon

Mipha: I'll end it

Daruk: What do you mean?

Mipha: Next time we all meet, I'll finish this mess... my life isn't happy anymore because of it...

Daruk: Well... whatever you do... always follow your heart

Mipha: Thanks ^^

Daruk: No problem... I'll be going then... doesn't seem to be much going on now

Mipha: Yeah.....

(Mipha has gone offline)

(Daruk has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Urbosa is back online)

(Daruk is back online)

Urbosa: Sav'saaba

Daruk: Hey there Urbosa!

Urbosa: How are you fairing today?

Daruk: Not too bad really

Urbosa: Always glad to hear that

Daruk: Actually... there was this one problem...

Urbosa: What's that?

Daruk: Well, Rudania has been acting really strange lately, almost like it's scared of something

Urbosa: You know what... Naboris has been acting the same way

Daruk: Really? 😶

Urbosa: Yeah... she's become really difficult to control and sometimes won't even move a single inch

Daruk: Do you think they might sense something we don't know?

Urbosa: Very possibly... although it wouldn't make sense.

Daruk: You don't suppose... that he might return?

Urbosa: There's no way. Not now.

Daruk: ....

(Mipha is back online)

Daruk: Hi Mipha!

Urbosa: Mipha sweetie! How are you??

Mipha: Hey Daruk... Urbosa... I'm doing okay

Urbosa: Are you sure? You sounded a bit sad right there

Mipha: I'm not sad... well, only a little

Daruk: You can open up to us if you want to... were always here for support

Urbosa: Yeah! Don't let anything burden you!

Mipha: Alright... I guess the past week has been really weird

Urbosa: Let me guess...

Mipha: No, not that... it's just that Link hasn't been talking anymore

Urbosa: Oh yeah, I was meaning to ask about that, but I guess you don't know anything?

Mipha: No... I mean, he's still pretty cheerful and.. no, he doesn't smile anymore either.

Daruk: I just jumped to the conclusion that something dumb happened to him

Urbosa: Or is going through another phase

Mipha: I tried talking to his sister but sh-

(Saria is back online)

Mipha: ....

Urbosa: Saria! We were just talking about you!

Saria: Rully??? That's awesum!!

Mipha: ^^

Urbosa: How are things looking over there?

Saria: Um.... not tu gud....

Daruk: Wait, what? Is everything alright?

Urbosa: Oh! What's bothering you???

Saria: Big bruder rarely comes hum now... I have tu stuy wid a frend

Urbosa: So big bad bruder needs a good lesson on child care from Aunt Urbosa?

Mipha: ....

Saria: Ids not his fault rully... I thunk its hus wurk and duties...

Daruk: I thought he didn't have to do so much work nowadays

Urbosa: That's what I heard as well

Saria: Nu... he's rully strussed and busy... sumtimes dusnt eat fur days

Mipha: .....

Urbosa: Has he been talking at least?

Saria: Sumtimes.. when he comes hum fur a luttle

Daruk: Well at least he hasn't gone mute

Saria: Whut?

Urbosa: You see, he doesn't talk with us anymore, or smiles

Saria: Oh... evun Mipha?

Mipha: Yeah

Saria: Lunk says he wunst to visut you

Mipha: I doubt he would. Probably staying with the Princess as usual.

Saria: Well.....

Mipha: Anyway, I was wanting to ask... have your Divine Beasts been acting pretty unusual?

Urbosa: Yeah, me and Daruk were talking about it.

Daruk: The same goes to yours?

Mipha: Mhm... Ruta... she seems to be suffering, as if she knows something is coming

Urbosa: You've always seemed to be very close to her

Mipha: Were a team really.. if she suffers, I also suffer

Daruk: So if Rudania, Naboris, and Ruta are experiencing the same issues...

Saria: Who's Ruta?

Mipha: My Divine Beast. Each Champion has one

Urbosa: Do you know what they are sweetie?

Saria: Oh yuss!! Link would talk all da tume abut them!!!

Mipha: How sweet...

Urbosa: Speaking of Link, where is he?

Saria: He said sumthung abut going wid Princuss Zulda to da Springs

Daruk: Wait, Zelda was supposed to tell us when she was going to leave

Urbosa: That's what she told me as well....

Mipha: ......

Daruk: There must be some mistake

Mipha: Wait... hold on a second...

Urbosa: What's wrong Mipha?

Mipha: Sweet Nayru!!! Link is here!!!

Urbosa: He what???

Mipha: Link is here!! Link is actually here!!!

Daruk: Okay now...

Sarai: Ooo big bruder visitud you?

Daruk: Apparently he did

Mipha: I'm gonna go see what's he doing here...

(Mipha has gone offline)

Urbosa: Well that was quite unexpected, but I'll take it any day

Saria: I dink Link likes her!!! 🥰

Daruk: You think?

Saria: Yuh! Havung her az a mom wud be awsume!!

Daruk: .....

(Revali is back online)

Revali: ...

Urbosa: Well now Saria... that might be a bit over the top but...

Revali: Yeesh, let Revali cleanse your eyes from those defiled words

Saria: ?

Urbosa: In other words, he's a loser

Revali: Hey!!!

Saria: Aww I bet Revuli is a cul guy!!!

Daruk: Cool indeed... in his own eyes... just joking Rev

Revali: The big man gets a pass for his humble apology

Daruk: I wasn't apolo-

Revali: No need to say more, I accept it :)

Urbosa: Hmph... anyway...

Saria: I'll huv to go... itds almst tum for dinur!

Urbosa: Alright sweetie, take care!

Daruk: Have a good one!

Revali: Meh, stay cool kiddo

Saria: ^^

(Saria has gone offline)

Urbosa: Now that it's just us three...

Daruk: What's up with you Revali?

Revali: Eh, nothing much really

Urbosa: Sounds like you've done something stupid as usual

Revali: Not that stuff, I literally did nothing

Daruk: Weren't you supposed to be out flying with Medoh?

Revali: I was, but the stupid turkey kept fumbling around

Urbosa: ....

Daruk: Oh.....

Revali: What? What's wrong?

Urbosa: Our Divine Beasts... all of them... have been experiencing the same issues

Revali: Okay? So what's that supposed to mean then?

Daruk: None of us are sure, but they seem to be anticipating something

Revali: The day the King dies of diabetes?

Urbosa: REVALI!!!

Revali: What? Haven't you seen how fat he is? My bad, obese. My man is in need of some serious exercise

Daruk: Dude...

Revali: I mean, he looks like an inflated ball waiting to pop

Daruk: Stop...

Revali: He should start jogging. I bet he'll pass out after ten steps

Urbosa: You really like playing with fire, don't you?

Revali: It's not like he's gonna join the chat or something :p

(King Rhoam has joined Champion's Hangout)

Revali: Wmw#^#* helxP I os @^÷wkdcon

Urbosa: Your majesty!!!

Daruk: King?!

King Rhoam: Greetings everyone! How are you all doing on this fine day?

Urbosa: Doing well I guess...? How did you get on here anyway...?

King Rhoam: Oh! The Shiekah gave me one of those fancy slates that are a riot these days.

Daruk: What do you think of it?

King Rhoam: It's absolutely clever and spectacular! There's so much to get lost in!

Urbosa: Yeah... really helps pass time...

King Rhoam: I hope you all don't mind my sudden appearance here, but my daughter sent me an invite the other day

Urbosa: How sweet of her! We always like having new people join!

King Rhoam: Of course! Now, what's this conversation here about me...?

Daruk: ......

King Rhoam: Wait, did that cucco just call me O-

(Revali kicked King Rhoam out of Champion's Hangout)

Daruk: DUDE WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!

Urbosa: YOU SPINELESS SAP!!!!!

Revali: I'm sorry, but I'm not in the mood to deal with some old boiled egg

Urbosa: This can't be happening...

Revali: Plus, he called me a cucco. That deserves for him to be blocked too.

Daruk: ...

(Mipha is back online)

Urbosa: Ah, you're back!!

Mipha: <3

Urbosa: So what happened???

Daruk: Do tell

Revali: What's going on?

Urbosa: Shutup and listen.

Mipha: Well... Link just left a few minutes ago... he had to meet with the Princess

Urbosa: Aww, but I bet you two had some time together, right?

Mipha: I... Sidon saw Link as he arrived so he kept pestering him with questions

Daruk: Ouch.

Mipha: It took some time, but I managed to get rid of him...

Urbosa: And?

Mipha: So we were alone at the pier

Revali: Swimming around with each other, ay? How'd it feel?

Urbosa: I swear by the gods I'll have you sitting on my dinner plate tonight

Revali: Meh :/

Mipha: .... Well, Link didn't say much but.. he said he wanted to apologize

Urbosa: Oh?

Mipha: He said that he made a mistake pushing me away and playing with my feelings...

Revali: Nah, he just wanted to have babies with both you and the Zelda Welda :D

Urbosa: ONE MORE TIME. I SWEAR ONE MORE TIME.

Revali: ;-;

Mipha: Link talked some more, but he wanted to... he said he...

Urbosa: Just say it!!

(Link is back online)

(Zelda is back online)

Mipha: Oh....

Daruk: Hey you two!!

Urbosa: Princes? Link?

Zelda: Ah, sorry everyone.. I was busy reading my notes for the last time

Urbosa: Is everything alright?

Zelda: Yeah... well, I'm visiting the Springs of Wisdom...

Daruk: Ah, why didn't you tell us?

Zelda: I was really stressed this week.. and father has been pushing me a lot too

Mipha: I'm sorry to hear that

Zelda: Well... now that I'm old enough, I can now go and see if I'm ready to accept...

Daruk: You've been preparing your whole life for this, don't worry

Urbosa: Daruk is right. We have faith in you Zelda!

Mipha: You can do it ^^

Zelda: I... thanks everyone... it really means a lot... to have you here as my friends...

Urbosa: Are you going there by yourself?

Zelda: Link is coming with me in case anything should happen

Mipha: .....

Urbosa: Is there something else we need to know

Zelda: Well first, is everyone here?

Revali: Right under your nose pip squeak

Zelda: Good. Do you all know that one spot we would always meet at near Mount Lanayru?

Mipha: Yeah...

Daruk: I remember that place

Revali: You mean the place where I stole Link's pants in front of everyone?

Link: ........

Mipha: Um.....

Revali: I know you all enjoyed seeing him running around naked

Zelda: Uh...

Revali: He sure was ripped down there

Mipha: .....

Revali: :)

Zelda: Er... yeah well, if you all can... I would like for everyone to wait for me until I finish...

Daruk: Of course! Just ask us anything!

Revali: Whoa now Daruk, that's a big promise right there

Daruk: This is for Hyrule's future Rev, whether you like it or not.

Urbosa: He's right, were all in this together.

Revali: Geez, alright. Just give me time to calm Medoh down

Zelda: Is everything alright Revali?

Revali: Nah, Medoh keeps wanting to kamikaze into Link's straw shack

Link: Hey.

Urbosa: All of our Divine Beasts have been acting rather strange Princess

Mipha: Yeah... it's difficult to work with them

Zelda: .......

Daruk: I keep wondering if.. you know...

Zelda: But... it would be too early... I must go to the springs right away!!

Urbosa: Take your time honey, we'll be waiting for you there 😄

Revali: Ew, stop with the cringey emojis

Urbosa: .........

Zelda: Okay then.. I'll see you all later...

(Zelda has gone offline)

Link: Um... bye...

Mipha: Bye Link... ❤

(Link has gone offline)

Revali: Oho!! Mipha bringing in that slick killer move! You go!!

Mipha: .... thank you...

Urbosa: Okay, we should all make our way to that spot then

Daruk: I'm already packing up. See you all there in an hour.

Revali: Yeah yeah whatever

(Revali has gone offline)

(Urbosa has gone offline)

(Daruk has gone offline)

Mipha: .......

(Mipha has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Mipha is back online)

Mipha: Um... hello anyone?

(Revali is back online)

Mipha: Hi Revali...

Revali: What's cooking fishsticks?

Mipha: That's not nice...

Revali: Sushi Roll? Raw fish?

Mipha: Stop...

Revali: I know, Link's tuna salad?

Mipha: No!!!

(Revali changed Mipha's name to Link's Tuna Salad)

Link's Tuna Salad: What are you doing?!

(Revali changed chat settings)

Revali: Now it's permanent :D

Link's Tuna Salad: NOO!!!!!

Revali: :p

Link's Tuna Salad: Change it back!!!

Revali: Not before Link gets a taste of his salad

Link's Tuna Salad: Please!!!

Revali: No

Link's Tuna Salad: Please...

Revali: No

Link's Tuna Salad: Please... I'm begging you....

Revali: What? Is Mipha Wipha nervous her Linky Binky will see her name?

Link's Tuna Salad: You're hurting my feelings!!!!

Revali: Aww....

(Daruk is back online)

Revali: Ayy, big boulder is back!

Daruk: Geez Rev, cut it out.... wait, who's....

Link's Tuna Salad: Take a guess

Daruk: That's the best thing I've seen all week XD

Revali: Sometimes... I even surprise myself

Link's Tuna Salad: 😭

Daruk: Okay, I think you should change it back Revali

Revali: Nah

Link's Tuna Salad: Please....

(Link is back online)

Link's Tuna Salad: !!!!!!!!

Link: Wha... hey, who's this now?

Revali: Your dinner

Link: ?

Revali: Specially prepared just for you

Link: Um...

Revali: With a hint of Zora in there

Daruk: XD

Link's Tuna Salad: Link!!! I'm so sorry!!!

Link: Yeah.... it's okay...

Revali: What's the matter Link? Don't you want to take a bite out of her?

Link: No... I wouldn't mind taking a bite out of you

Revali: ....

Link: Of course, if seasoned well

Revali: Hey now wait right there yo-

(Urbosa is back online)

Link: ...

Revali: Looks like the warden finally showed up

Urbosa: You wish.

Link's Tuna Salad: Hey Urbosa...

Urbosa: Hey... hold up...

Link: Exactly that

Urbosa: REVALI. IF YOU DON'T CHANGE HER NAME BACK, I WILL TURN YOU INTO A GERUDO DRESS WHEN WE MEET.

Revali: Didn't know that was a thing

Urbosa: I'll make sure to bring my sewing kit

Revali: You aren't serious, are you?

Daruk: I mean...

Urbosa: You want to test me?

Revali: Fine...

Urbosa: That's the good Ravioli I know

(Revali changed Link's Tuna Salad's name back to Mipha)

Mipha: Yay <3

Urbosa: ^^

Revali: OKAY ANYWAY, where are you guys?

Daruk: Whatcha talking about?

Revali: I've been waiting here for over an hour

Urbosa: Excuse me? Is this this the same Revali were talking about? The one who still lives in his mother's house?

Revali: You burned mine down

Urbosa: Really? I didn't notice.

Link: Me neither

Daruk: Well I'm almost there. Just had to stop by and order some rocks for dinner

Revali: .....

Daruk: Don't worry, I should be there in a few minutes

Revali: Hurry. You're keeping this beautiful face waiting.

Link: ..........

Urbosa: Did you say beautiful?

Revali: Yes. Gorgeous, am I not?

Urbosa: You look like that one scarecrow I have in my watermelon patch with a banana for a nose

Revali: You're evil

Link: I agree

Revali: Really???

Link: With Urbosa

Revali: I SWEAR I'LL GUT YOU ALIVE AND HAVE YOU THROWN TO TH-

Urbosa: Calm down bird, Mipha's here

Mipha: .......

Revali: Did you just call me a bird?

Daruk: >.>

Urbosa: BIRB

Revali: Listen here genie, if you don-

(Urbosa changed Revali's name to Birb)

Birb: WHAT THE HELL URBOSA?!?!

Link: XD

Daruk: You rock girl

Urbosa: Always.

Birb: I HATE YOU ALL!!!!

Mipha: Um... Revali? Why are you dancing around like at some voodoo ritual...?

Urbosa: Oh?

Birb: Wha hey!!! When did you get here???

Mipha: .... right now?

Daruk: I think... yeah, I can see you two

Birb: Finally... you morons take forever

Urbosa: Look who's talking

Birb: I bet you didn't even leave lady paradise yet

Urbosa: Actually... I'm right there

Birb: Where???

Urbosa: Behind you.

Birb: Hu-

(Birb has been disconnected)

Link: ....... um...

Daruk: Oh wow...

Mipha: ....

Link: What happened?

Daruk: Urbosa just burned the word "Birb" across his butt with her suprisingly electric fingers

Urbosa: A fine memory he'll have of me

Link: Urbosa, do you like Revali?

Mipha: O-O

Urbosa: Wait, what did you just say?

Daruk: Um...

Link: You two kind have a love-hate thing going on all the time

Urbosa: Ha!!! As if!!!

Daruk: Link does have a point there

Urbosa: You can't be serious!?

Mipha: .......

Urbosa: Mipha! Tell them they are wrong!!!

Mipha: It... kinda makes sense...

Urbosa: You've got to be kidding me, out of all the times

Daruk: Hey, it's okay. We don't blame you

Link: Okay, that's enough guys...

Daruk: Having Banana Beak as a last name wouldn't be that bad

Urbosa: Daruk, I swear if you don-

Link: FOR HYLIA'S SAKE, SHUTUP!!!

Urbosa: ......

Daruk: Um....

Mipha: ......

Link: Me and Zelda just arrived at the Springs... please...

Mipha: Wait....

Urbosa: Why hasn't the Princess come online?

Link: She's been stressing to mentally prepare herself for the time, and coming here would've distracted her

Daruk: That would make sense...

Mipha: So then...?

Link: I'll have to go inside and keep guard

Urbosa: Alright then, don't let us get in the way

Daruk: Yeah, just pop by when it's done

Urbosa: Maybe Birb here will wake up by then

Daruk: XD

Link: ....

(Link has gone offline)

Urbosa: Now, how about I place my slate down and give you a piece of my mind?

Daruk: Um....

*Several hours later*

Birb: Help me wipe these burn marks off my feathers

Daruk: You mean your butt?

Birb: Shutup and help me.

Urbosa: Help yourself

Birb: Watch your behind then. I'll get you one day and you'll never forget me then.

Urbosa: I dare you to even touch me

Daruk: So... why are we texting each other when were literally like five feet from away from one another?

Urbosa: Revali can get away with threats that way

Mipha: .....

Birb: Meanwhile Mipha here is actively wondering when her senpai will be back

Mipha: N-No I'm not!!!

Birb: :)

Daruk: Come on... just calm down. If I wait another hour, I'll actually go insane

(Birb has changed name back to Revali)

Revali: THERE.

Urbosa: A round of applause to the cucco for finally figuring it out

Revali: Sweetie, plea-

(Link is back online)

Mipha: !!!!!!!!!

Urbosa: Link! Any news! How'd it go???

Daruk: Please! Give us any news!

Link: ......

Revali: Hold up

Mipha: Is everything alright Link...?

Link: ......

Urbosa: Talk to us

Link: Zelda is crying

Mipha: .....

Urbosa: Oh no....

Revali: Phh, crybaby

Daruk: Shush Revali, this is actually serious now

Urbosa: How is Zelda???

Link: She's so weak, that I had to support her the entire way.. even had to carry her at one point

Mipha: ... that sounds terrible

Daruk: Did anything go wrong?

Link: I don't know. She didn't tell me anything.

Urbosa: But you were guarding her, right? Surely you've heard something.

Link: ......

Mipha: Please tell us Link.. I'm scared

Link: Zelda was... crying about why she's not getting an answer... a sign... why isn't she worthy

Daruk: That's tough

Revali: Really tough

Link: Were actually almost there. Can you see us?

Revali: Hmmm, oh yeah, I see you two

(Zelda is online)

Urbosa: Princess!!

Daruk: Hey Zelda, are you okay?

Zelda: .... I'm sorry....

Urbosa: No no no sweetie! What are you sorry for?

Zelda: I'm... sorry for failing you all...

Urbosa: Don't think like that! Just come on over and tell us what happened!

Zelda: Okay...

(Zelda has gone offline)

(Daruk has gone offline)

(Urbosa has gone offline)

(Revali has gone offline)

Mipha: Link....?

Link: Yes?

Mipha: Did she....

(Mipha has gone offline)

Link: ....

(Link has gone offline)

~~~~~~~~~~

Revali: Yeah!! It's definitely Ganon alright, and he's huge!!!

Zelda: What?!?! No!! It can't be!!! Not now!!!

Urbosa: Let's all calm do-

Daruk: Everyone hurry to their Divine Beasts!! Link, you and the Princess hurry to the castle!

Urbosa: Um...

Link: ....

Daruk: Just do it!!

Revali: I'm already off to Medoh, get moving you guys!!

Daruk: Right behind! I'll see you all later!

Urbosa: Sure... I hope

Mipha: ......

~~~~~~~~~~

Daruk: HEY, HOW MUCH LONGER TO YOUR DIVINE BEASTS?!?!

Urbosa: I'm here!! Just got inside!!

Revali: Doing a final checking before activating it...

Mipha: I'm saying bye to daddy and Sidon...

Daruk: Okay good!!! I'm about to enter Rudania myself! Wait until my signal!!!

Urbosa: Understood!

Revali: Aye...

Mipha: Ahh... Sidon doesn't want me to go... he's holding on to my arm...

Link: Mipha... listen... tell him everything will be alright

Mipha: But-

Link: Tell him if anything will happen, I will come immediately to help

Mipha: Okay.....

Urbosa: Are you doing okay Link?!

Link: Yeah.... were making our way to the castle

(Zelda is back online)

Urbosa: Princess! Is everything alright there???

Zelda: No.... there's destruction everywhere.... my father's army is evacuating everyone...

Daruk: Make sure that they make their way to the woods or distant mountains!

Zelda: Y-Yeah but... I keep thinking if he's okay...

Urbosa: I'm sure he's fine and out of harm's way Zelda... positive...

Zelda: I hope your right...

Revali: Everything is going according to plan! Medoh is ready!

Urboda: Same with Naboris!

Mipha: Almost there... almost there...

Daruk: Hurry up Mipha, we mustn't waste any time!!

Mipha: I know I know!

Zelda: How did this all happen...? Why now....? It's all my fault...

Urbosa: It's not your fault honey... it was just unpredicted

Zelda: But... what if my sealing powers don't awaken? What then?

Mipha: Zelda.. I was trying to tell you earlier, but then I got interrupted... maybe....

Zelda: Y-Yes?

Mipha: What always helps me focus and perform my healing abilities... is to think about lo-

Daruk: READY!! MIPHA, IS EVERYTHING IN PLACE THERE???

Mipha: Um... y-yeah!!!

Daruk: Alright... on my mark, we all activate the shrines at the same time, got it?

Urbosa: Understood

Revali: Got it.

Mipha: .....

Daruk: OKAY, ONE. TWO. THREE. NOW!!!

Link: ......

Urbosa: H-Hey....

Revali: Um...

Mipha: !!!!

Zelda: What's wrong?!

Urbosa: Nothing happened... but the doorway leading to the exit suddenly closed on me...

Mipha: Same... here....

Revali: The force field came up for some reason with Medoh...

Daruk: I... the shrine is acting all weird!

Link: .....

Zelda: Link.... that guardian... why is it... walking like that towards us?

Link: Get back behind me

Zelda: It's... not supposed to glow like that....

Daruk: What's going on?!?!

Urbosa: Wha- the shrine just got plummeted by a pink cloud!!

Revali: Mine... mine is filling up with that weird cloud too.....

Mipha: S-Same....

Daruk: This isn't supposed to happen!

Zelda: LINK! IT'S CHARGING ITS LASER AT YOU-

(Zelda has been disconnected)

Mipha: !!!!!!!!!

Urbosa: LINK! ZELDA!!!!

Revali: Hey... hey... hey!! Some creatures just appeared in front of my shrine!!!

Daruk: M-Mine too! It looks.... it looks...

Urbosa: Guys! Get out of there! I can't control Naboris anymore!!!

Revali: Me neither!!!

Daruk: I can't!! Rudania placed herself right in the middle of the volcano!

Urbosa: Mipha???

Mipha: Ahh.... I'm...... hurt....

Link: MIPHA?!?!?!

Mipha: Some... monster just appeared.. and threw a spear through my leg...

Link: No no no no NO NO NO NO!!!

Mipha: I'm trying to hide but... my leg is bleeding bad...

Daruk: Ahh! It's already starting to atta-

(Daruk has been disconnected)

Urbosa: Daruk!!! Link!! Try to go and get hel-

(Urbosa has been disconnected)

Revali: Heheh, this sucker thinks it can take me on? I'll see you chums later

Link: Wair Revali! Don't get cocky duri-

Revali: I'll be fine... you worry too much

(Revali has gone offline)

Mipha: Link....

Link: Mipha!! Stay right there!!! I'm coming for you!!!!

Mipha: No... stay with the Princess...

Link: I'm not gonna let you there by yourself!

Mipha: Ah... protect the Princess Link... she needs you...

(Mipha has been disconnected)

Link: #@%&# %#$@

(Link has been disconnected)

Chapter Text

(Link is back online)

Link: Hey guys?!?!? IS ANYONE ONLINE???

Link: HELLO??? THE PRINCESS AND I ARE SURRO-

(Link has been disconnected)

-

-

(Time Skip: Ten minutes)

-

-

(Link is back online)

Link: Are any of you guys still out there!? I'm having a really hard time trying to keep myself and the Princess alive!!!!

Link: HELLO?!?!?!

(Revali is back online)

Link: Revali!!! Are you okay????

Revali: ... yeah......

Link: What's that supposed to mean?!?!

Revali: Geez Link, calm down

Link: What do you mean calm down?! Don't you see what's happening!!!

Revali: I can see what's happening you stupid buffoon, and I'm handling myself just fine

Link: .....

Revali: Calm down

Link: ......

Revali: Okay, now that were nice and relaxed, what's going on there?

Link: The Guardians... they're.. attacking us...

Revali: Wait wait wait, that's impossible

Link: That's what I said! There seems to be even more of them swarming the place!!!

Revali: .... where are you now?

Link: Me and Zelda are hiding behind some boulders... her Sheikah Slate got crushed

Revali: Makes Sens-

Link: REVALI, WHY AREN'T THE DIVINE BEASTS FIRING THEIR WEAPONS?!?!

Revali: Um....

Link: THIS IS ZELDA. I DEMAND A REPLY. NOW.

Revali: YEAH SURE, SHOULDN'T BE THAT HARD WITH SOME CREATURE THAT CONSTANTLY WANTS TO KILL YOU

Link: ..... Wait... what are you saying?

Revali: There's some damn pink blob out on Medoh that's trying t-

(Revali has been disconnected)

Link: Hey hey hey REVALI!!!!

Link: .....

(Revali is back online)

Revali: Sorry, had to dodge one of it's missiles

Link: What in Hylia is going on there?!

Revali: Listen, I'd love to chit chat with you two, but this is actually serious

Link: Bu-

Revali: I'll shoot a text if things are under control or... if I need help... nah, screw that last part

(Revali has gone offline)

Link: Wai.... no.....

-

-

(Time Skip: Twenty minutes)

-

-

Link: Guys!!! Are any of you out there??? These Guardians are too much to handle! I can't protect the Princess like this!

Link: Please answer me!!!

(Saria is back online)

Link: OMG SARIA ARE YOU OKAY?????

Saria: Yus yes! I'm okaiy... wher ar you Link... I'm scurd...

Link: Everything will be fine! I just want to know where you are!!! Did everyone get out safely?!

Saria: I dunt kno... all I remumbr is... hearing a loud explosun... and a guard caim to take me somewure..

Link: Saria! Listen to me! Make sure to head to the mountains!! You'll be safe there!!!

Saria: Okuy.......

Link: HELLO? SARIA??? THIS IS ZELDA

Saria: Hi Prunces-

Link: MY FATHER.. DID YOU SEE HIM? IS HE OKAY??????

Saria: I..... not shur...

Link: BUT... surely you must've seen him?!!?

Saria: I dont.... I huv to go...

Link: No wait!!!

(Saria has gone offline)

Link: NOOOOO

-

-

(Time Skip: Thirty minutes)

-

-

Link: ...... please.. anybody... I'm too injured to carry on...

(Urbosa is back online)

Link: Urbosa!!! Thank goodness your back!!!

Urbosa: Ahh, Link!! Are you doing okay over there???

Link: No... not at all...

Urbosa: The Princess! Zelda! Is she hurt?!?!?

Link: No......

Urbosa: I... I would like to...

Link: Urbosa.... what is..?

Urbosa: Wait a second

Link: ....

Urbosa: I'm trying to hide from this monstrosity to catch my breath

Link: What mons-

Urbosa: Hell I know Link!?

Link: .....

Urbosa: Look... whatever it is... I'm doing my best just to survive but..

Link: Don't..

Urbosa: If I don't make i-

Link: DON'T FREAKING SAY IT

Urbosa: Tell Zelda she will always be like a daughter to me.. that I would love her like any mother would

Link: YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DIE. NO ONE IS.

Urbosa: Link, sweetie... perhaps some things weren't meant to..

Link: NO NO NO NO

(Revali is back online)

Urbosa: Revali?

Revali: You two are a sight for sore eyes...

Urbosa: Same situation...?

Revali: I was about to ask you the the same thing

Link: What are those creatures even supposed to be?!

Revali: I don't know... right now, I managed to hit a few more shots on it but... I'm running out of arrows

Urbosa: ....

Revali: It's starting to notice my patterns and tactics... it's smart....

Urbosa: Same he-

(Urbosa has been disconnected)

Link: .....

Revali: I'm sure she's fine

Link: I... hope

Revali: Hey, is Zelda doing fine?

Link: Yeah... she's just sobbing how this is all her fault

Revali: Mmm... tell her that I believe in her

Link: That's pretty lame advice

Revali: Just do it for crying outloud THIS ISN'T A TIME TO JOKE AROUND

Link: I wi-

(Urbosa is back online)

Urbosa: Hoo..... that was a close one...

Link: ???

Urbosa: The blade grazed my arm.. luckily the bleeding isn't that bad

Revali: Hmph, finally fighting with some grit for a change Miss Genie?

Urbosa: Even now you still joke around you cheeky bastard

Revali: Hey, anything to brighten up a stupid situation

Urbosa: Ha, get lost... I'll have t-

(Urbosa has been disconnected)

Revali: Argh... this damn thing is charging up its laser again... I'll have to go now

(Revali has gone offline)

Link: .......

-

-

(Time Skip: Fourty minutes)

-

-

(Daruk is back online)

Daruk: HELLO? ANYONE???

Link: DARUK!!!!!!!

Daruk: Link!! Are you and Zelda okay?!

Link: We're doing just fine! I'm more worried about you guys!!!

Daruk: I'm managing over here! Just a few scuffs and scratches, that's all...

Link: Did some creature also appear there too?????

Daruk: Yeah... but my protective ability is keeping me safe for now

Link: For now? What do you mean?

Daruk: Thing is, I don't know how long it could last

Link: T-That's.... just pull it together! I know you can defeat it!

Daruk: Thanks little guy....

Link: Maybe I can co-

Daruk: Gahh... it's changing tacti-

(Daruk has been disconnected)

Link: No... no no no NO NO WAIT

-

-

(Time Skip: One hour)

-

-

Link: Hey everyone... me and Zelda managed to get beneath a bridge to hide for a while...

Link: Are any of you still out there? We're really worried now....

Link: Please answer us.....

(Urbosa is back online)

(Revali is back online)

Link: !!!!!!

Urbosa: Link....

Revali: Hey...

Link: W-What's going on? Are you guys winning over there???

Urbosa: No... this abomination just won't go down...

Revali: Same here.. their durability is ridiculous

Urbosa: And my shield..... is close to breaking

Revali: I..... only have two more arrows left....

Urbosa: Link.. Revali.... I don't think I'm gonna get out of this one

Link: NO URBOSA!!!

Revali: Have you tried the exit to your Beast?

Urbosa: Locked... sealed shut

Link: But.. Revali! Why don't you just fly away from the fight?

Revali: Medoh's forcefield won't go out and I can't fly through it..

Urbosa: So it looks like this might be it...

Link: Guys stop!!!! Please!!! Me and Zelda will leave right now and gather some soldiers to tr-

Urbosa: Link... listen to us...

Revali: I hate to admit it but... were not gonna make it out of here

Urbosa: Tell Zelda I'm proud of her... I always will be.... she'll be an amazing ruler one day

Revali: ....

Urbosa: Link, take care of her for me. That is all I ask for... and Revali...

Revali: Yeah?

Urbosa: Sorry for burning your house down

Revali: It's okay...

(Daruk is back online)

Urbosa: Hey Daruk!!!

Daruk: Hey... thought I'd come here for a few seconds while this freak is trying to find me...

Urbosa: Same... this is my last hiding spot I had left

Revali: What do you know... I'm in the same position here as well..

(Mipha is back online)

Link: OMG MIPHA!!!!!!

Urbosa: Mipha!!

Daruk: Are you okay?????

Link: ANSWER ME FOR ONCE! I'M ABOUT TO BREAK DOWN THINKING OF YOU

Mipha: I'm....

Revali: ??

Mipha: I'm hiding... behind the shrine...

Urbosa: You aren't hurt, right?!

Mipha: It's spear.... it...... it went through me........

Link: WAITWHAT!ZBD@OC$&B

Mipha: I'm trying to... heal it but... I've lost too much.... blood....

Link: Mipha stay right there!! Don't move!!!

Mipha: I can hear it getting closer.....

Link: DAMN YOU HYLIA DON'T TAKE MY FAMILY AWAY FROM ME LIKE THIS

Urbosa: Link... please....

Daruk: ..

Urbosa: You know... at least I got the chance to be with you guys one last time... even on this stupid groupchat

Revali: Yeah.... I just wanted to say that.. I'm sorry for all the times I've been a jerk

Daruk: You're cool dude

Link: Guys... please stop... everything will be fine.. we'll get someone to help you all

Mipha: It's okay Revali... I forgive you...

Link: Are you even listening to me???

Daruk: If we are going to die, let's at least die trying to defeat Ganon!!

Link: You guys are tearing me up😭😭

Urbosa: You're right Daruk.

Revali: Couldn't agree more

Urbosa: Mipha... I know you must be in a lot of pain but.. do you have anything to say?

Mipha: I... I want to.... I just to tell you Link that...

Link: .....

Mipha: I love you...

(Link has gone offline)

Mipha: ......

Urbosa: Good job girl

Daruk: Well.. it's been an honor serving with you guys... it's time to put this device down and finish it

Urbosa: Yeah...

Revali: So long then... maybe.. in the next life?

Urbosa: I like that... I like that a lot

Revali: Good.. bye

Daruk: Good bye

Urbosa: Good bye.....

Mipha: Good..... bye...

(Revali has been disconnected)

(Urbosa has been disconnected)

(Mipha has been disconnected)

(Daruk has been disconnected)

Chapter Text

(Link is back online)

Link: Hello...? Wait.....

(Link has changed name to Zelda)

Zelda: Hey everyone! It's me Zelda!!! Are any of you still online?!?!

Zelda: Anyone?!?!? Link is hurt really bad!!! Hello???

~

~

(Time skip: Twenty minutes)

~

~

Zelda: Somebody please answer!!! I need to know if yo-

(Sidon is back online)

Zelda: SIDON YOU'RE ONLINE???

Sidon: Princess???

Zelda: What's going on over there at the Domain? Is Mipha okay?!

Sidon: I... I don't know... Ruta... it....

Zelda: The Divine Beast? Is something wrong with it????

Sidon: I... it started stomping around and acting really scary....

Zelda: That.. doesn't make sense

Sidon: Yeah...... a bunch of our guards are trying to get inside but they can't figure a way in.....

Zelda: ....

Sidon: Is Link okay?

Zelda: He..... almost died trying to.. protect me

Sidon: What?! Linky almost died!!!??

Zelda: Guardians surrounded us and one of them... Link... he tried...

Sidon: !!!!!! HOW IS HE???

Zelda: I... wait, Link!! H-

(Zelda has gone offline)

Sidon: Zelda? Zelda??? What's going to happen to my sister?!

Sidon: Zelda...? Anyone....? Help.....😥😥

~

~

(Time Skip: Ten minutes)

~

~

(Revali is back online)

Revali: Hello...?

Revali: Anyone...

(Zelda is back online)

Zelda: REVALI!!! IS IT REALLY YOU???

Revali: The one... and only sweetcheeks

Zelda: Are you okay?!? Are the others oka-

Revali: I. Don't. Know.

Zelda: B-But ma-

Revali: I DON'T KNOW DAMN IT. EVERYONE ELSE MIGHT BE DEAD AND I MIGHT JOIN THEM TOO

Zelda: .......

Revali: Please... I'm in no mood....

Zelda: .....

Revali: ..

Zelda: Are you hurt?

Revali: My left wing is mangled beyond description and my right wing is broken in several spots

Zelda: How are you still.... still fighting?

Revali: I... I'm hanging off the side of Medoh.. this creature is also suffering though

Zelda: Oh..

Revali: It's a matter of.. who will finish

Zelda: Please.. take care of yourself there...

Revali: I will. How are you fairing?

Zelda: I'm... shouldn't you be focusing on the battle? I don't want to distract you

Revali: Nah, this babe model knows how to do things, unlike some others

Zelda: Well... okay then...

Revali: Is Link doing fine?

Zelda: Funny that you care about him now

Revali: I still have surprises up my sleeve, don't I?

Zelda: He... he was supposed to be taken to the Shrine of Resurrection

Revali: Whoa WHOA WHOA, EXCUSE ME???

Zelda: It got really bad here....

Revali: I can tell that, but what do you mean by "he was supposed to?"

Zelda: Mipha... she... she managed to send one last message to us where she..

Revali: For crying out loud spill it out!!! I don't have all day here!!

Zelda: Mipha was slowly losing consciousness... her sight getting dizzy

Revali: ...... if only I could defeat this punk and then fly over to her

Zelda: Well... when Link heard that.. he got onto a horse and rode towards the Zora Domain

Revali: Hmph, he really wants his precious sushi that much?

Zelda: .... yeah, but.. I tried to convince him not to go... he could barely walk and his foot was broken in several places

Revali: Music to my ears

Zelda: It's not a laughing matter Revali

Revali: Hardy har har

Zelda: ....

Revali: Anyway, what about you?

Zelda: Two Sheikah guards came to help us... Robbie and Symin

Revali: Mhm

Zelda: I told them to ride out to Urbosa and tell her soldiers to help if possible

Revali: And where does that leave you then?

Zelda: I...... unlocked my sealing powers

Revali: ......

Zelda: .....

Revali: ......

Zelda: Um....

Revali: YOU'VE GOT TO BE FREAKING KIDDING ME. OUT OF ALL THE TIMES.

Zelda: .....

Revali: I COULD BE SITTING IN A HOT TUB RIGHT NOW, DRINKING A SMOOTHIE AND NOW YOU'VE DECIDED T-

Zelda: I didn't get to choose this!!!! Just try to understand the situations I'm in!!!

Revali: ... so?

Zelda: .. sorry... what I was trying to say...

Revali: Go on

Zelda: I'm going to keep Ganon at bay... and maybe slow down the destruction

Revali: Finally som-

(Mipha is back online)

Revali: Mipha???

Zelda: MIPHA!!!!

Mipha: Is...... is Link there...?

Zelda: No..

Mipha: Oh.. I only wanted to say a few words to him.. or maybe just one...

Revali: He's on his way to see you

Mipha: W-What...?

Zelda: Link is going to try to get you out of there

Mipha: Ahh... that's... that's nice...

Revali: Just hang in there girl

Mipha: Are you two o-okay?

Revali: Yeah?

Zelda: I guess so...

Mipha: I'm happy to hear.. that....

Revali: Hey hey! Stay with us!!

Mipha: I... I can't swim anymore... can't escape...

Revali: MIPHA JUST HANG IN THERE, LINK IS COMING!!!

Mipha: I... I can't see straight anymore...

(Mipha has been disconnected)

Revali: DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT ALL!!!!!!

Zelda: ......

Revali: That's it, I'm ending this clown right here right now

Zelda: Revali.. be careful

Revali: I am, which is why this tablet will go zooming off Medoh

Zelda: Hey!! It's a valuable piece of history!!!

Revali: Haha, goodbye Princess

(Revali has been disconnected)

Zelda: .....

(Zelda has gone offline)

~

~

(Time Skip: Fifteen minutes)

~

~

(Zelda is back online)

(Zelda added Robbie to Champion's Hangout)

(Zelda added Symin to Champion's Hangout)

Zelda: .....

(Symin is back online)

(Robbie is back online)

Zelda: Hey you two!!

Symin: Princess!

Robbie: Are you safe? Any assistance needed over there!

Zelda: I'm fine.. just helping some of the locals to escape

Robbie: Ah.. that's good to hear

Zelda: How are you two holding up with the Gerudo?

Symin: They were all in a state of fear and confusion when we arrived

Robbie: Luckily, they listened to what we had to say and now every single guard has made her way to Naboris

Zelda: I'm... that's splendid to hear.... I hope Urbosa....

Symin: Do not worry Princess, I'm sure she's managing just fine

Robbie: Yeah.. were just a bit more concerned about you and Ganon....

Zelda: I'M DOING JUST FINE THANK YOU VERY MUCH

Robbie: ....

Zelda: Just make sure Urbosa gets out of Naboris safely... that's all I'm asking...

Symin: Of course

Robbie: You have our word

Zelda: Alright.....

(Zelda has gone offline)

~

~

(Time Skip: Thirty minutes)

~

~

(Zelda is back online)

Zelda: Hello? Anyone else online? I'm done evacuating the last of the survivors....

Zelda: .....

(Sidon is back online)

Zelda: Sidon?

Sidon: It's me... Link...

Zelda: Link?!?!?

Sidon: I had to take a short break here with Sidon... my lungs were about to collapse from all the running

Zelda: I thought you took off with a horse...?

Link: It couldn't make it all the way, so I had to run

Zelda: Oh...

Sidon: ....

Zelda: ...?

Zelda: .....

Zelda: Link?

Sidon: Ah... sorry... my chest just sent a sharp surge of pain

Zelda: Ahh please be careful!!!!

Sidon: Don't worry... I just wanted to check on you, that's all

Zelda  I..... thank you Link... I'm doing well over here

Sidon: I'm happy to hear that... I'll be seein-

Zelda: Link..?

Sidon: Yeah?

Zelda: If there's still a chance... save Mipha....

Sidon: ......

Zelda: I know she loves you with all her heart... and I would hate for you to.... for us.. to lose her

Sidon: ......

Zelda: It's okay Link... I'm not jealous anymore

Sidon: Thank you.... Zelda....

Zelda: Of course.. now go..

Sidon: Goodbye.. though... I have a feeling that....

Zelda: ?

Sidon: This might not end well for me...

(Sidon has gone offline)

Zelda: What...?

~

~

(Time Skip: Two hours)

~

~

(Daruk is back online)

Daruk: HEY GUYS!!!!

Daruk: HELLO????

Zelda: D-Daruk?!?! H-How???

Daruk: I.... I...

Zelda: What happened??? I didn't hear from you at all!!!!

Daruk: A bunch of my brothers grew uneasy back home and they came to see what was going on

Zelda: .....

Daruk: The foul beast... was about to end me but.. my buddies.. they all tackled it

Zelda: Really???

Daruk: Yeah.. it didn't even last five seconds

Zelda: I'm so delighted to hear!!!! :D

(Revali is back online)

Daruk: YO REVALI!!!

Zelda: Wait wait wait..

Revali: HEY HEY HEY WHAT'S UP MY GOOD PEOPLE???????

Daruk: ARE YOU ACTUALLY OKAY?!

Revali: HELL YEAH BROTHER!!!!

Daruk: :D

Zelda: I thought.. but...

Revali: Oh yeah... I did throw my Sheikah Slate off Medoh but Kaneli saw it fall and caught it

Zelda: Ahhh

Daruk: Haha!!! That's lit!!

Revali: Definitely! Several of the Rito warriors then came up and put out the forcefield!

Zelda: .....

Revali: They all unleashed complete hell on that sucker :)

Daruk: What do you know? Same thing happened to me!!

Revali: Really??? This day has only been getting better and better!!!!

Zelda: I think... I'm going to cry..

Daruk: Why's that Princess?

Zelda: I thought you guys were... gone... forever... it was so hard not to break down...

Revali: Hey now, it's all over.. we're here with you

Zelda: Yeah but... Urbosa.. what about her?

Daruk: I don't know about tha-

(Urbosa is back online)

Zelda: !!!!!!!!!!!

Revali: Whoa, is it the one and only Miss Genie herself?

Urbosa: Sav'saaba everyone!!!!!

Zelda: OMG OMG OMG URBOSA IS THAT YOU?????????

Urbosa: The one and only sweetie!! 😁

Zelda: You guys....

Urbosa: ^^

Revali: We sure put you through a rough time, no?

Daruk: Poor girl...

Zelda: ..... I'm.... I just can't....

Urbosa: There there honey... I'll come on over once I recover

Revali: Actually, what happened to you anyway? From when we last talked.. you were pretty much a goner

Urbosa: Zelda's two Shiekah guards rallied up my soldiers and they managed to climb in through spots in the ceiling

Revali: I thought it's basically impenetrable when it closes on you

Urbosa: Those Shiekah men knew a few things about my Divine Beast

Revali: Makes sense I guess

Daruk: That's awesome to hear then!!

Urbosa: Yeah... it sure was a close call

Zelda: ....

Urbosa: Where's Link and Mipha though?

Zelda: Link... he went to help Mipha but.. I haven't heard from either....

Revali: They're probably too "busy" if you know what I mean

Urbosa: If your wing isn't broken enough to text, I'll make sure to tear it off your body

Revali: Ha ha ha, very funny

Daruk: Okay you two.. come one, may-

(Mipha is back online)

Urbosa: Oh?? Mipha???

Mipha: Somone help!!!!

Zelda: ???

Daruk: What's going on?

Mipha: Link! He... he's... he's dying!!!!

Zelda: No NO NO NO!!! WHAT HAPPENED?!

Urbosa: Ahh! I'm coming right away!

Daruk: Same here!!

Mipha: He.... he tried to save me and...

Zelda: SPILL IT OUT ALREADY!!!

Mipha: The creature.... impaled him to the wall with the spear and.... then started stabbing him multiple times.....

Zelda: CAN'T YOU HEAL HIM?! YOU MUST BE ABLE TO HEAL HIM?!

Mipha: I'm too weak.... I can't heal a basic scratch.... Muzu is trying but....

Urbosa: I'll bring my personal doctor along as well!!!!

Zelda: HE... DON'T LET HIM DIE! I CAN'T LET HIM GO OUT ON ME LIKE THIS!!!

Mipha: It's... all my fault...

Daruk: Hey... everything will be alright... just take a deep breath an-

Mipha: I have to go... I can't take it anymore... his screams are.... too much...

(Mipha has gone offline)

Zelda: NO NO NO NO!!!

(Zelda has gone offline)

Urbosa: Hang tight over there!!

(Urbosa has gone offline)

(Daruk has gone offline)

Revali: Phh, just when I was about to munch on my mum's cookies...

(Revali has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Mipha is back online)

Mipha: IS ANYONE ONLINE???

Mipha: ANYONE???

(Urbosa is back online)

Urbosa: Yes yes yes?

Mipha: Are you close to the Domain Urbosa?!

Urbosa: Me and my soldiers just transferred from our sandseals onto some horses

Mipha: O-Oh...

Urbosa: We are galloping at full speed, hang tight Mipha!

Mipha: Okay....

Urbosa: If you want to, we can talk... (Gerudo soldier) is handling my horse

Mipha: I have time... a little...

Urbosa: How are you and Link holding out?

Mipha: Link... I... I can't see him

Urbosa: What do you mean?

Mipha: Muzu is attending to him and... Dento is taking care of me outside Ruta

Urbosa: At least your in goo-

Mipha: Thing is, Muzu isn't familiar with Hylian anatomy...

Urbosa: .....

Mipha: ...

Urbosa: Is that a bad thing?

Mipha: .... kinda..

Urbosa: Can't you heal him or at least ease up his pain??

Mipha: I'm too injured to be of any help

(Zelda is back online)

Urbosa: Zelda!

Zelda: Hey is Link okay!!??

Mipha: .....

Zelda: Is he??? I'm wrecking my head here just thinking about him!!!

Urbosa: He's fine Princess...

Zelda: Argh! I want to come but... I can't because of damn Ganon!!!

Urbosa: Can't you just...

Zelda: I CAN'T! HE'LL WREAK HAVOC ON HYRULE THEN!

Mipha: So... wait, I'm confused.. how..?

Zelda: I unlocked my sealing powers

Urbosa: OHH SO YOU DID??? 😁

Zelda: Yeah but...

Mipha: But... how?

Zelda: We got swarmed by Guardians and... one of then locked its laser beam on us

Urbosa: Oh dear...

Zelda: And right at that moment, Link rose up to protect me from getting blasted... even whilst he was injured...

(Revali is back online)

Zelda: ....

Urbosa: ......

Revali: Go on.

Zelda: I felt my love for him and... and... that's when it happened...

Mipha: Ahh, that makes sense

Zelda: ?

Mipha: Remeber when I wanted to tell you something near Mt. Lanayru?

Zelda: Yeah...?

Mipha: I just wanted to suggest that... perhaps love could've helped awaken your ability... at least that's what always helps drive me...

Urbosa: How lovely! Who knew love could play such an important role?

Revali: Yeah, who knew?

Urbosa: ...

Revali: Mhm?

Urbosa: Where are you anyway?

Revali: On my way to see our dear Hylian

Urbosa: Dear Hylian???

Revali: You know I'm being sarcastic.

Urbosa: Figured.

Zelda: But... Mipha... can't you check on Link at least?

Mipha: ... I want to... but then that would mean opening up my wound again......

Zelda: .....

Revali: Tis but a scratch, no?

Urbosa: REVALI!!

Mipha: No... a spear went through me, remember?

Revali: Oof, I wouldn't want to feel that

Urbosa: Revali, as glad as I am to know your alive and well, I'm starting to wish you would've been fried

Revali: So what happened to those "final" words you told me then?

Urbosa: ......

Zelda: Um...

Revali: I thought so

Urbosa: Ugh... aren't your wings supposed to be broken?

Revali: They were but Magic

Urbosa: Magic?

Revali: Magic

Urbosa: Sweet Naboris...

Revali: Actually one of them is fine now. I only type with my beak

Mipha: ....

Zelda: .....

(Zelda has gone offline)

Revali: Left a lot of dents on the screen but it works

Mipha: .... I have to... go... it hurts to text with you guys..

(Mipha has gone offline)

Urbosa: ....

Revali: :)

Urbosa: Why do I have to get stuck with you?

Revali: Heheh, how about you and me go to dinner after all this is over?

Urbosa: The hell...?

Revali: No like, seriously.

Urbosa: Eww no.....

Revali: ;)

Urbosa: You're creeping me out

Revali: Hoo Hoo Hoo... she likes me...

Urbosa: Are you even mentally stable now?

Revali: I'll be having Gerudo Genie for supper tonig-

(Urbosa kicked Revali out of Champion's Hangout)

Urbosa: .....

(Urbosa has gone offline)

(Daruk is back online)

Daruk: Hey guys!! Guess... what... oh...

Daruk: ..... anyone online...? Hold up...

(Daruk added Revali back to Champion's Hangout)

(Revali is back online)

Revali: Yo

Daruk: Hey Revali, what happened?

Revali: Genie kicked me out

Daruk: Oh

Revali: Yeah

Daruk: ....

Revali: .....

Daruk: ...

Revali: .-.

Daruk: So....

Revali: I assume you're on your way to the Domain?

Daruk: Yep, what about you?

Revali: Same here. I have a few Rito that let me sit on them as they fly

Daruk: Interesting.. I'm almost there

Revali: Nice, give him a good slap on the face for me if I don't get there in time

Daruk: ......

Revali: You know, I wonder why Mipha didn't just kiss Link and get over with it

Daruk: Um....

Revali: You know, the Princess kisses the Prince and he comes back to life?

Daruk: ...?

Revali: Don't you remember your bedtime stories?

Daruk: .... I don't think Link is exactly a prin-

Revali: Wait, maybe it was the other way around... that would be impossible then

Daruk: ....

Revali: Actually, I sometimes think how does it feel to be kissed by a Zora

Daruk: Dude... you're creeping me ou-

Revali: I bet they taste all fishy

Daruk: ...

Revali: Imagine Link slobbering with Mipha XD

Daruk: Now I can see why Urbosa kicked you out

Revali: What? Can't you all take a chuckle?

(Daruk has gone offline)

Revali: ....

(Revali has gone offline)

~

~

(Time Skip: One hour)

~

~

(Mipha is back online)

Mipha: Hey you guys!!!

(Revali is back online)

(Urbosa is back online)

Urbosa: Yes Mipha???

Revali: Meh.

Urbosa: FOR THE LOVE OF- WHO ADDED YOU BACK?

Revali: Magic

Mipha: Listen to me!!!

Revali: Yes, your highness?

Mipha: How far away are you guys?

Urbosa: Me and my soldiers just crossed the first bridge that leads to your place

Revali: I'm at... do you take a right or left?

Mipha: .....

Revali: Or can I turn back? My mom's cookies are waiting for me

Mipha: You know what, screw you Revali. I don't care about you anymore

Revali: .....

Mipha: If you don't show any sympathy for your friends who need help, then please leave

Revali: ....

Mipha: Leave.

Revali: Fine.....

Urbosa: Ooh, did I sense jealousy?

Revali: Shutup...

Urbosa: So Mipha, are you able to stand up now at least?

Mipha: Yeah... I regained my energy and healed my injuries but...

Urbosa: But...?

Mipha: I don't know if I have enough energy to fix Link

Revali: Fix link. Let those words sink in for a moment

Mipha: ......

(Sidon is back online)

Mipha: Sidon???

Sidon: MIPHA ARE YOU OKAY?! 😭😭😭

Mipha: Yes I'm fine Sidon!!

Revali: Yeah, Link just almost got torn in half, that's all

Sidon: WWWHHAAATTT?????

Mipha: Revali!!! >:(

Urbosa: He's still a child!!!

Sidon: @&#* %# !?#&#%*

Revali: Still a child?

Sidon: I'm coming there right now!!!

Mipha: No you're not!! You stay right down there mister!!!

Sidon: I'm still coming!

Mipha: If you don't listen, I'll tell father that you were the one who ate half of his birthday cake

(Zelda is back online)

Sidon: If you won't let me come, I'll tell father you were the one who messed up mom's wedding gown while playing "pretend" with Link

Urbosa: O-O

Zelda: .....................

Revali: Wow, I'm saving that.. and what luck Princess! You got to see it firsthand!

Zelda: ......

Mipha: Ahh.... fine...

Sidon: Yes!!!!

Zelda: ..

(Sidon has gone offline)

Zelda: Hey guys....

(Daruk is back online)

Urbosa: What luck Daruk

Daruk: Huh?

Zelda: Guys....

Urbosa: Zelda?

Zelda: I need you all to use the Divine Beasts against Ganon...

Mipha: Wait what???

Urbosa: Are you okay?

Mipha: What about Link???

Zelda: I don't know anymore!!! I'm using almost all my energy just to contain Ganon!!!!!

Revali: Wow, that must not be a lot

Daruk: -_-

Urbosa: How are you doing that?

Zelda: I..... have no idea.... all I know is that I might... be inside him...

Mipha: ???

Daruk: Not sure how that works

Zelda: It's really dark here and... I can't even see my body.. just the tablet's screen, which is already starting to fade away...

Urbosa: Oh dear.....

Zelda: Please........ get to the Divine Beasts... I'm scared

Daruk: Don't you also need the Hero of Time to successfully defeat Ganon?

Zelda: ..........

Mipha: .......

Revali: GOD DAMN IT MIPHA YOU BETTER NOT LET LINK DIE

Mipha: .... I'll try..

Revali: NO TRIES! YOU FIX LINK! HELL, I'M GONNA COME RIGHT THERE AND SLAP HIM AWAKE

Daruk: Chill dude...

Zelda: Well in that case... I guess I might need to go.. who knows for how long?

Urbosa: Hey, let's just put our heads together an-

Zelda: If Link does come back, tell him that I love....

Mipha: .....

Revali: This is getting cringey. Please stop.

Zelda: Goodbye..

(Zelda has been disconnected)

Urbosa: What was that for Revali?! Didn't you see how scared she was?

Revali: Lol

Urbosa: MXJXI AIslenlxna Jesl

Mipha: ..... I'm gonna go to Link.. I think Muzu might've quieted him down

Urbosa: Stay stro-

(Mipha has gone offline)

Urbosa: ....

Revali: Oh well, here we go again

(Revali has gone offline)

(Daruk has gone offline)

(Urbosa has gone offline)

~

~

(Time skip: Thirty minutes)

~

~

(Revali is back online)

Revali: Heyyy, look at what I found :)

(Urbosa is back online)

Urbosa: What do you want now? I just arrived at the Domain

Revali: I found something of great importance

Urbosa: And...?

Revali:

Urbosa: Oh... oh my...

Revali: 😏

Urbosa: Aww... my heart!!!!

Revali: Right?

Urbosa: But h-how???

Revali: I literally just walked in on them

Urbosa: Wait right there!

(Urbosa has gone offline)

Revali: Oh boy...

(Revali has gone offline)

(Daruk is back online)

Daruk: Hey!! I just arrived! Did I miss anything?

Daruk: Hello...?

Daruk: Anyone...?

(Daruk has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Sidon is back online)

Sidon: Hey... are any of you guys coming? There's only one Champion here.. what's his name..

(Revali is back online)

Revali: Yeah?

Sidon: What's your name?

Revali: ....

Sidon: ?

Revali: Revali.....

Sidon: Cool! Than-

Revali: Shouldn't you help your sister?

Sidon: Oh.. yeah, I probably sh-

(Urbosa is back online)

Urbosa: Hey you two!! Hi Sidon!!!

Sidon: Hi...

Revali: Hurry along now Urbosa

Sidon: Okay, I'll leave.. I just hope sis knows how to heal Link...

Urbosa: .. wait... what?

Revali: >.>

Urbosa: Wait... WHAT?

Sidon: You didn't know what happened to Link?

Urbosa: I did but, REVALI said that your sister healed him!!!

Sidon: No... she's desperately trying right now to stabilize the blood loss

Urbosa: Then.... that... means......

Revali: o.o

Urbosa: REVALI.

Revali: Yes sir?

Urbosa: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON THERE???

Revali: Huh?

Urbosa: WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME?

Revali: I didn't lie, I... might've exaggerated the details just a tiny bit

Urbosa: A TINY BIT?!

Revali: Hey, if it made you get here faster, then my job is done

Urbosa: I SWEAR BEFORE THE SUN GOES DOWN I WILL BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR BODY

Revali: Lol 😂

Sidon: ...?

Urbosa: Actually... WHERE DID YOU GET THAT PICTURE FROM THEN?

Revali: Geez, calm down girl XD

Sidon: Maybe I should leave...

Revali: C'mon Gerudo Queen, I have hundreds of pictures of those two

Urbosa: You're.... hideous

Revali: I'll take that as a compliment

Urbosa: Ah, there you are, perched on Ruta's trunk. Say your prayers bird

(Urbosa has gone offline)

(Sidon has gone offline)

Revali: I might've overdone that 😂

(Daruk is back online)

Daruk: Hey you guys, I'm making my way over the bridge right now

Revali: What's good big guy?

Daruk: Um... are you at Ruta?

Revali: Yeah I... oh crap, Urbosa is right here

Daruk: ?

Revali: I GOTTA GO

(Revali has gone offline)

Daruk: Huh, I hope everything is okay there

(Daruk has gone offline)

~

~

(Time Skip: Two hours)

~

~

(Paya is back online)

Paya: Um...... hello.....?

Paya: Hello.....?

Paya: Maybe I should...

(Urbosa is back online)

Urbosa: Paya? PAYA SWEETIE!!

Paya: H-Hi Urbosa...

Urbosa: Are you okay there??? Is anyone hurt?!

Paya: Yes... our village was spared from any destruction.. plus the guards were ready to fight to the death

Urbosa: Well I'm very glad to hear that! 😁😁😁

Paya: ...

Urbosa: I meant the part where your village was spared

Paya: Oh, okay..

Urbosa: ^^

Paya: Are you all doing okay?

Urbosa: Um, of course! We ran into some problems along the way but uh, everything is fine!

Paya: .....

Urbosa: ...

Paya: Is Link okay?

Urbosa: Why would you be asking that sweetie?

Paya: Oh... I um... was just curious..

Urbosa: Ahh...

Paya: You don't...

Urbosa: Don't worry, I won't tell anyo-

(Revali is back online)

Paya: ??

Urbosa: WAIT HOW ARE YOU STIL-

Revali: I LIVED

Urbosa: B-But... I made sure to break you up for good!!!!

Revali: BUT 'CHA DIDN'T

Urbosa: DAMN IT!!

Paya: .....

Revali: Hmm, lovely conversation you've been having there Paya

Paya: Wait... I c-can explain!!

Revali: And another beautiful screenshot to add to my collection :)

Paya: No no no!!! Don't tell anyone!!!

Urbosa: REVALI

Revali: You didn't say please

Paya: PLEASE!!!

Revali: Ehhh, I change my mind

Urbosa: That's it, I'm coming up there and I'll rip your beak off too this time

Revali: Whoa whoa whoa there, we're supposed to act cordial and wel-

(Urbosa has gone offline)

Revali: ....

Paya: .......

Revali: I'm scared

Paya: ... I should... maybe check another time..

(Paya has gone offline)

Revali: 😱

(Revali has been disconnected)

~

~

(Time Skip: Ten minutes)

~

~

(Saria is back online)

Saria: Link? Link!!!! Anyun?!

(Mipha is back online)

Saria: Mupha!!!!

Mipha: Oh! Hello Saria!!

Saria: Wut is hapunin???

(Link is back online)

Saria: LINK!!!!! :D

Link: Heya sis!

Saria: Omg omg omg ar yu okaiy?!

Link: Of course sweetie, your big brother is always okay, especially with Mipha by my side

Mipha: Link... I'm not tha-

Saria: Can she bu my mom????

Link: .......

Mipha: ......

Saria: Prutty pleaz!!!!! I prumis to be a gud gurl!!!

Link: Um...

Mipha: Saria honey, that's very sweet but you need a father as we-

Saria: Link cun be my daddy!!!!

Link: .....

Saria: He cun be my daddy and big bruder!!!!! :D

Mipha: Well now... I uh... I don't know...

Link: No promises

Saria: I dunt care!!!

Link: Okay okay, I'll see what.. we can do. Anyway, I just want to make sure you're safe right now

Saria: I'm safe ovur here

Link: Good... that's good.... stay put then

Saria: How much longr do I huv to wait untl you com???

Link: I'll be there in a few hours.. I just have unfinished business to attend to

Saria: Okay....

Link: I love you sis, stay safe and listen to what the others say

Saria: ....

(Saria has gone offline)

Link: Hey.. sorry about that...

Mipha: It's okay 🤭

Link: So did you let your father know you're safe?

Mipha: Yeah.. he was crying when he saw me..

Link: I'm sure he was stressed beyond measure

Mipha: .... Link..?

Link: Yeah?

Mipha: T-Thank you... for coming for me... if it weren't for... I would've..

Link: I guess I should also thank you for.. basically saving my life back there too

Mipha: Oh, that...

Link: How'd you even manage to bring me back anyway? From everyone's reaction, the situation must've been grim

Mipha: Well I di-

(Sidon is back online)

Sidon: DID YOU SEE THE AWESOME PICTURES MIPHA TOOK ON HER SHEIKAH SLATE?!?!

Link: ......

Mipha: What are you talking about Sidon?

Sidon: Just look at this one!! Link looks so awesome facing that stupid thing in the middle!!!

Sidon:

Link: What in...

Mipha: Oh...

Link: Did you......?

Mipha: I couldn't help but take one shot of you when you came to my rescue

Link: Well... that's a good one there.. I guess I do look pretty cool XD

Mipha: :)

Sidon: OMG THIS LOOKS EVEN BETTER!

Mipha: I'm confused, how did you get your hands on these?

Sidon: I went through your Sheikah Slate while you were crying over Link

Mipha: I had a password on it...

Sidon: That was easy to guess! You should put a better one honestly

Mipha: .....

Sidon: Iwant_to_marrryLink was pretty easy to crack

Link: ............

Mipha: Sidon.... you and me are going to have a long talk about privacy

Link: ....

Sidon: Ooh! Here's that other one I saved on my Slate!

Sidon:

Mipha: Wait, what?

Link: Huh?

Mipha: I don't remember taking that photo

Sidon: Who cares? It looks awesome!!!

Link: Maybe you were about to take one but dropped it?

Mipha: No... I never remember touching it since that last picture....

Link: ....

Mipha: .....

Link: I'm slightly concerned

Mipha: .....

Sidon: Oops, Muzu is calling for me. I guess I'll see you two later then!

(Sidon has gone offline)

Link: ....

Mipha: I'm coming over there right no-

Link: Hold up...

Mipha: ?

Link: Where's Zelda?

Mipha: Um...

Link: Where is she??? Is Zelda okay?!?!

Mipha: I heard she was containing Ganon or something...

Link: WHAT

Mipha: .....

Link: I'M GOING THERE RIGHT NOW

Mipha: Wait! You're still very weak from everything that happened!!!!

Link: I DON'T CARE! I HAVE MY DUTY TO COMPLETE!

Mipha: ....

Link: I'm sorry..

Mipha: Please... please don't die

Link: ....

Mipha: I don't want to go through that pain and heartache again..  please....

Link: I promise

Mipha: ...

(Link has gone offline)

(Mipha has gone offline)

~

~

(Time Skip: One hour)

~

~

(Urbosa is back online)

(Daruk is back online)

Urbosa: Hey! Has anyone seen Link?

Daruk: Um... no? I thought he remained at the Domain with you guys

Urbosa: He isn't anywhere to be found!

Daruk: That's impossible. He couldn't just get up and walk out of there in his condition

Urbosa: Exactly what I was thinking!

(Mipha is back online)

Urbosa: Mipha! Do you know where Link is?!

Mipha: ....

Daruk: Are you hiding something from us? Come on... were like family....

Mipha: Link... he went for Ganon....

Urbosa: EXCUSE ME WHAT?!

Daruk: Oh no

Urbosa: We have to go help him!!

Daruk: Good idea, we'll all meet at our respective Divine Beasts an-

Mipha: Where's Revali anyway?

Urbosa: I folded him into an origami airplane. He can fly home now

Daruk: .....

Mipha: ... okay

Urbosa: Oh come on! That bird brain had it coming!

(Link is back online)

Mipha: Link!!

Urbosa: Sweet Naboris, you had us worrying for you!!

Daruk Hey little guy...

Link: No worries, I already took care of Ganon

Mipha: W-What?

Urbosa: This isn't time to play pranks Link

Link: Well, technically I wasn't the one who defeated him

Daruk: I'm confused

Urbosa: So am I

Link: I got a bunch of Cuccos to follow me

Daruk: O-O

Link: Once that bastard hit one of them, they all tackled him in a violent frenzy

Mipha: .....

Urbosa: Um...

Link: I swear a million of them little devils just randomly spawned with us inside the castle

Daruk: So... what does that leave you at?

Link: Oh yeah, they also turned on me after devouring him

Mipha: !!!!!!

Urbosa: I'm coming over to make sure you're mentally sane

Link: Don't worry. I got teleported outside a field then.. it felt weird

Daruk: Actually... wait, I see something near Hyrule Castle.. and it's big

Link: That's supposed to be Ganon too

Urbosa: WHAT IS GOING ON THERE?

Link: Ganon turned into some fat pig

Daruk: Looks like some type of rhino

Link: Pig

Daruk: Rhino

Link: Pig

Daruk: Rhino

Link: Pig

Daruk: RHINO

Link: Pigno

Daruk: Fair enough

Urbosa: I have seen enough. I'm coming over there Link, stay put

(Urbosa has gone offline)

Daruk: ...

Mipha: Um...

Daruk: What are those flashy streaks being projected at Ganon.. I mean that Pigno?

Link: Some bow fell from the sky and hit me in the head

Daruk: ?

Link: Apparently it's some holy weapon meant for defeating Ganon. Zelda keeps babbling stupid nonsense in my head

Mipha: She's talking to you?

Link: Somehow. She keeps bugging me to stop thinking of red Zoras and to focus on shooting Ganon

Mipha: .... red Zoras?

Daruk: I'm sure she meant nothing

Mipha: .........

Link: Haha!! There you go, he's down!!!

Daruk: No... wait... he's... transforming into some... black smoke

Link: .....

Mipha: ......

Daruk: ....

Link: Hey hey hey HEY HEY! IT'S ZELDA!!

Daruk: Where?! Where?!

Mipha: ???

Daruk: Link! Watch out! He's coming straight for you!!!!

Mipha: LINK?!?!

(Link has been disconnected)

Mipha: LINK!!!!!!

Daruk: .....

Mipha: DARUK?! WHAT DO YOU SEE?!

Daruk: ....

Mipha: ANSWER ME OR I'LL TEAR YOU APART

Daruk: Um... some.. massive explosion of light and... I can't really see.. wait..

Mipha: .....

Daruk: There's nothing left. Just... two people....

Mipha: What?

Daruk: I can't see Ganon anymore

Mipha: Wait.. so that means...

Daruk: I think Link just saved us all

Mipha: ...

(Mipha has gone offline)

(Daruk has goes offline)

Chapter Text

(Daruk is back online)

Daruk: Hey guys!!! Where are my favorite Champions at???

(Urbosa is back online)

Urbosa: Sav'saaba Daruk! How are you doing today?

Daruk: Oh, you know me, doing good as always!

Urbosa: Well I'm glad to hear that! :D

Daruk: So... did you manage to recover from... that one incident?

Urbosa: Incident? 😂

Daruk: Yeah...

Urbosa: We just went through the apocalypse Daruk, and barely survived it too

Daruk: Maybe I should've worded it di-

Urbosa: But to answer your question, I'm doing quite well here. Things have finally gone back to normal

Daruk: Same here, thankfully XD

Urbosa: Mhm, so where are the others?

Daruk: No idea yet. We haven't been online ever since Zelda sealed Ganon away

Urbosa: Speaking of that, I heard her Sheikah Slate got destroyed

Daruk: Same here. I think she'll get another one soon

Urbosa: I hope so...

(Link is back online)

(Revali is back online)

Urbosa: .....

Daruk: ....

Urbosa: Why?

Revali: :)

Link: Um...

Daruk: How's it going Rev?

Revali: Oh, nothing much

Link: Great to hea-

Revali: I'm just sitting in bed, my entire body wrapped up in plaster because of all the broken bones

Link: ....

Daruk: Let me guess

Urbosa: 🤭

Daruk: This had something to do with you and Urbosa?

Revali: You just won a million rupees

Daruk: I'm sorry to hear that

Urbosa: Though.. I'm curious how in Naboris are you able to type?

Revali: A have a fellow brother helping me out

Link: ???

Revali: A Cucco

Urbosa: ........

Daruk: ....

Link: ....

Revali: It's good to have friends

Link: .....

Urbosa: Um... so, Link! What are you up to?

Link: I'm just staying with Mipha at her place. Were actually relaxing on Ruta's trunk

Daruk: A fine way to spend the evening I bet

Urbosa: 😁

Link: Y-Yeah..

Revali: Define "Relaxing"

Link: .....

Urbosa: Revali, please stop

Revali: I bet you two have been swimming a lot with each other

Urbosa: Just shutup for once!!

Link: I'm gonna go... Mipha wants me to do some diving competition with her...

Revali: Diving into each other's souls... :)

(Link has gone offline)

Urbosa: I don't understand. I thought you changed after the Calamity

Daruk: Yeah... like a turn for the better

Revali: Well, at least I keep this place busy and interesting

Urbosa: A nice break would do well...

Revali: Ehh, I'll think about it

(Sidon is back online)

Revali: Ayy it's my boi Sidon!!!

Sidon: Hey!!!

Revali: Sorry, my favorite Zora 😏

Sidon: :D

Urboda: Hey Sidon!!

Sidon: Hi

Daruk: Oh, what's this?

Revali: Huh?

Daruk: You two seemed to have hit it off

Revali: Oh yeah, we formed a pact

Sidon: Yep!!

Urbosa: Meaning...?

Revali: That means we have made the strongest alliance in Hyrule history

Urbosa: Hah, give me a break

Sidon: By the way, I managed to crack sis's password again

Urbosa: .-.

Revali: Oh?

Sidon: Seriously, it was pretty easy to guess

Revali: Do tell :D

Sidon: I_simp_for_linky_winky_because he is_handsome_and_strong änd supportive_and I_want_to_marry_him_ for lïfe_and_trap him_with_me_forever

Daruk: Okay now.... that was um....

Revali: We must warn our Hylian

Urbosa: H-How did you even...

Sidon: Sis was gone for a while with Link and I got bored

Revali: That's what I like to hear

(Zelda is back online)

Urbosa: Princess!!

Daruk: It's good to have you back with us!

Revali: Yo

Sidon: Ooh, hello Zelda!

Zelda: Thank Hylia it worked... hi everyone!!!

Urbosa: How did you manage to come back on???

Zelda: Purah hooked me up to another Sheikah Slate yesterday and I took to retrieving my information

Daruk: I'm glad to hear that! Maybe things can go back to norma-

Sidon: Hey Revali... I also found a lot of notes and photos here too!

Zelda: Um...?

Urbosa: Long story

Daruk: Yeah, don't pay attention to it

Revali: I'm all ears big guy :)

Sidon: Let's see... she has a lot of pictures of Link...

Zelda: .....

Urbosa: Zelda, I'm sorry.... they're just playing aroun-

Sidon: Link's shirtless in more than half of them, and he's pretty jacked too

Zelda: .......

Sidon: Sis hearted all of them 😂

Revali: Beautiful. Just beautiful.

Sidon: She also wrote a lot of notes here...

Revali: I'm writing this down

Urbosa: Uh, Sidon? Don't you think it's rather... you know... to look in other's private lives?

Sidon: Well, we all know Mipha loves Link so, why not look at the proof since it's all here?

Zelda: And I thought this would be a good day...

Daruk: ...

Urbosa: Did you have anything to do with this Revali?

Revali: Nah. This is just a small glimpse at my powers

Urbosa: ??

Sidon: Sis also wrote a lot about her armor for Link

Zelda: What was that?

Sidon: Oh, Zoras that want to marry someone make a really intricate set of armor as a way of proposing to them

Revali: So that means....

Sidon: She wants to marry Link!!!

Zelda: ...

Sidon: He can actually be my brother???

Revali: So that's what the armor was for... no wonder she never liked to talk about it....

Daruk: My head hurts

Zelda: So does mine...

Revali: Aren't you jealous then? 😏

Urbosa: REVALI, GIVE HER A BREAK

Zelda: ... um... no.. I mean...

Revali: C'mon, I'm sure you can get a few licks in there

Zelda: Eww....

Sidon: ....

Daruk: Hey Rev, why do you keep focusing on Link and Mipha so much? Especially our little Zora

Revali: ... becuase I want.. to?

Urbosa: Hold up hold up...

Sidon: ?

Revali: What?

Urbosa: You.......... like Mipha?

Daruk: O.o

Revali: No.....

Zelda: Or maybe he likes Link?

Urbosa: I doubt that. Revali didn't mind all those times when Link was close to dying

Zelda: Ohhh, I get it now

Sidon: Um.....

Urbosa: The only person Revali ever showed sympathy towards in a crisis was Mipha

Revali: Phh, so?

Daruk: I'm blown away

Zelda: Me too. This is news

Revali: I can't believe you'd actually come up with something as stupid as that

Urbosa: IT ALL MAKES SENSE.

Zelda: I'm suddenly getting interested here

Urbosa: ME TOO BECAUSE THEY WOULD LOOK PRETTY CUTE TOGETHER, NO?

Revali: Wha- Shutup!!!

Daruk: Ooooh

Revali: It's not true!!

Urbosa: You keep causing drama between them and Zelda so you can get Mipha for yourself in the end!

Revali: As if!!!!!!

Sidon: So.... bird dude likes my sister?

Zelda: Apparently the facts point to that

Daruk: I wonder what Link would think of that >.>

Revali: S-Shutup!!!

Urbosa: HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE EXPOSED FINALLY???

Sidon: .... wow

Zelda: This has worked out better than I had even anticipated

Sidon: I mean....

Revali: THAT'S IT I'M USING MY POWER TO IT'S FULL EXTENT

Urbosa: You're so full of yourself 🤣

Daruk: I'm actually crying right now XD

Zelda: I'm just shocked. And happy too

Sidon: I'm... confused

(Paya is back online)

Paya: Um... hello?

Revali: BY THE ALMIGHTY POWERS OF REVALI, I COMMAND YOU ALL TO CEASE IN THE NAME OF
A S I N I N E

(Urbosa has been disconnected)

(Daruk has been disconnected)

(Zelda has been disconnected)

(Sidon has been disconnected)

(Paya has been disconnected)

(Server settings have been modified)

Revali: ...

(Link is back online)

Link: Hey guys... is it raining... meteors over there as well?

Revali: Huh?

Link: It's... whoa... THOSE THINGS ARE AS BIG AS MOUNTAINS

(Link has been disconnected)

Revali: I didn't think using 99.9% of my powers would actually be so effective but...

Revali: Aww, but what if Mipha also dies or something during my affliction upon Hyrule...

Revali: Damn it.

~

~

(Time Skip: Five hours)

~

~

(Revali is back online)

Revali: Shouldn't be too long befo-

(Urbosa is back online)

(Daruk is back online)

(Zelda is back online)

(Link is back online)

Revali: So?

Link: What?

Urbosa: ???

Revali: Feel anything different?

Daruk: I don't know what you're talking about?

Revali: You mean you don't remember?

Zelda: Remember what?

Revali: ....

Link: ...

Revali: So no one remembers how I...

Urbosa: Are you high again?

Daruk: He probably is

Revali: What is the last thing you remember talking about?

Zelda: How you liked Mipha?

Revali: WHAT?!

Link: .....

Revali: B-But... wait...

Zelda: I also heard that Paya has a big crush on Link

Daruk: ....

Link: .........

Urbosa: Wait, how did you know?

Zelda: Her grandmother, Impa

Urbosa: Oh... of course

Link: ........

Revali: God damn it everyone likes each other. I'm leaving.

(Revali has left Champion's Hangout)

Link: ..... Did... he... just..?

Urbosa: I guess so

(Link has gone offline)

Daruk: Well, another productive time spent together as friends

Zelda: Yep

(Zelda had gone offline)

(Daruk has gone offline)

(Urbosa has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Link is back online)

Link: .......

(Urbosa is back online)

(Daruk is back online)

Urbosa: A fine day to you all

Daruk: Heya Urbosa! Hey Link!

Link: .......

Urbosa: Rough day?

Link: ......

Urbosa: Don't want to talk again?

Link: ...

Daruk: Um...

(Link added Revali back to Champion's Hangout)

Urbosa: I don't like where this is going, but I'm looking forward to it still

(Mipha is back online)

Urbosa: Ohh, hi Mipha! :D

Mipha: Hey Urbosa!

Link: ...

Mipha: Link...? You wanted me on?

Link: Yes.

(Revali is back online)

Revali: Huh? Who added me back?

Daruk: Link

Revali: Hold u-

Link: REVALI

Revali: O-O

Urbosa: .....

Daruk: ...

Mipha: Link? What's going on here?

Revali: Y-Yeah... what's going on?

Link: DO YOU LIKE MIPHA?

Mipha: Wait...

Revali: Since when can you demand a question from me like tha-

Link: ANSWER ME.

Revali: Bu-

Link: ANSWER ME OR I'LL USE YOU IN MY NEXT SEAFOOD DISH.

Urbosa: Yikes

Mipha: Seafood...?

Revali: I don't...

Link: I'M COUNTING TILL THREE

Revali: ....

Mipha: W-What's going on?!

Revali: Um...

Link: One.

Revali: Hhhhhhhhh

Link: TWO.

Daruk: Urbosa, do something quick

Link: THR-

Urbosa: Mipha and Revali sitting in a tree

Revali: Stop

Link: ...

Mipha: ??

Urbosa: K   I   S   S   I   N   G

Revali: Please stop.

Urbosa: First comes the kiss

Revali: STOP.

Urbosa: Then comes the marriage

Link: .....

Urbosa: THEN COMES A BABY RIDING IN A CARRIAGE

Daruk: Oh god xD

Mipha: Um...

Urbosa: I wonder what the kids would actually look like?

Daruk: Flying Zoras?

Urbosa: Probably >.>

Revali: I'm begging you

Urbosa: Hey, I know what to call it

Daruk: What's that?

Urbosa: Miphvali!

Link: .... fascinating

Revali: You don't believe all this, right Link?

Link: .....

Revali: Right?

Mipha: .....

Link: Some bird is going on a one way trip down Death Mountain tonight

Mipha: Link....

Link: What?

Mipha: Just... um... you know...

Link: What?

(Impa added herself to Champion's Hangout)

Link: .....

Urbosa: Oh?

(Zelda is back online)

Mipha: ....

Impa: Greetings everyone

Zelda: Excuse me but, what is going on?!

Impa: Princess, hello!

Zelda: IMPA?!

Impa: Yes?

Zelda: B-But h-how???

Impa: Don't you all know?

Daruk: Know what?

Revali: .....

Impa: I monitor all the Sheikah Slates that were handed out

Urbosa: What do you mean exactly?

Impa: I know all and I see all

Revali: O.o

Link: .....

Zelda: That would've been nice... to tell us beforehand....

Mipha: So if you can monitor us...

Impa: Pretty much what you think

Mipha: .....

Daruk: Please enlighten us

Urbosa: NO.

Daruk: Come on, I'm sure none of you have anything to hide

Mipha: .... no no no.....

Link: ???

Impa: Sure, let's start off with Urbosa. I have all day anyway

(Urbosa left Champion's Hangout)

Daruk: Dang, that's suspicious

Impa: Must be all the Revali pictures she has in her gallery

Zelda: I'm sorry, WHAT

Revali: Say what again?

Link: ...

Impa: Ooh yes! She didn't have too many, just a few dozen, but the quality of the pictures was on a whole new level

Daruk: It all makes sense...

Link: But... wait...

Zelda: Link? What about him?

Mipha: Um, yeah...

Impa: Link has only two pictures in his gallery, quite sad if you ask me.

Mipha: ...

Zelda: Who are they of?

Impa: You and Mipha

Mipha: Oh...

Zelda: I.. didn't know that

Daruk: Damn this just got a whole lot more interesting

Link: Now, what about Revali?

Revali: I'm gonna leave if you don-

Link: Leave, and it'll be the last decision you'll make

Revali: ;-;

Impa: Revali? Oh, he has quite a good number of pictures of Mipha

Zelda: Really?

Link: ...

Impa: Quite suggestive too, but not too unbearable

Link: ..............

Mipha: Um....

Link: ..............

Revali: No one saw that... right...?

Link: .......

Zelda: Link?

Link: I feel a deep urge to tear someone's wish bone

Revali: I'm actually starting to get worried

Daruk: And Mipha?

Impa: Mipha meanwhile has over a million pictures of our little Hylian

Zelda: Okay, HOLD UP

Revali: Bruh

Impa: That's only on her internal storage. She still has probably twice as much on external storage

Zelda: Are you kidding me...?

Impa: She even has more than the Princess herself

Link: O.o

Zelda: Impa stop!!

Impa: You wouldn't believe all the... cough cough... shots Zelda has of Link

Zelda: IMPA!!!!!

Impa: :)

(Zelda has gone offline)

Daruk: I bet she's doing all this so her granddaughter will get together with Link

Impa: What makes you say that?

Daruk: Oh, just an idea

Link: ...

Mipha: I would've appreciated if you didn't say that...

Impa: Oh yeah, Mipha also has a separate folder with Revali picutures

Revali: >.>

Link: Hold up

Impa: Yes Link?

Link: What kind of pictures?

Impa: Most of them look like screenshots, but a few of them are some pretty high quality shots

(Sidon is back online)

Mipha: ......

(Sidon added Muzu to Champion's Hangout)

Mipha: .....

Link: Why?

Sidon: He also got a Sheikah Slate....

Link: Oh, sorry Sidon... I was talking to Mipha?

Sidon: Sis?

Mipha: ....

(Muzu is back online)

Impa: Hello?

Muzu: Hmph, greetings

Impa: And who might you be?

Muzu: I'm Mipha and Sidon's mentor. I heard about this groupchat and found out my students are in it

Sidon: Yep :D

Muzu: Of course I'm not excited about it but... I shall oversee the matter

Impa: Ahh, well I'm happy to have you join us!

Mipha: .....

Impa: Also Link, this is just an example of what she has of our Rito

Impa:

Sidon: What....?

Mipha: NOOOO!!!!!

Link: WHAT THE HELL

Revali: Guess I'll die

Muzu: Mipha?!

Mipha: It's n-not what you think!

Muzu: How could you?!

Link: ....

Muzu: A Rito?! The lowest scum in Hyrule history?!?!

Revali: HEY!!!!

Muzu: Pipe your beak you vile pedo!!!

Impa: .....

Sidon: O.O

Revali: ....

Mipha: I j-just like to have pictures of my friends!!!

Impa: She's lying

Daruk: Damn.

Muzu: Now you lie to me too???

Mipha: N-No!!!!

Muzu: You're father will hear about this! You will marry a Zora and only a Zora!!

Mipha: I WILL NOT! I WILL MARRY LINK AND HAVE MY CHILDREN WITH HIM

(Mipha has gone offline)

Link: .....

Muzu: W-What did she say...?

Sidon: Will that make Link my older brother??? Then he could live with us too? That's awesome!!! :D

Muzu: ...

(Muzu has gone offline)

Link: ....

Revali: Um...

Link: You and me are not done

Revali: Hold up now!!

Link: You flirted with my sushi

Impa: Sushi... I like that

Sidon: Um... I might need to go...

(Sidon has gone offline)

Revali: Let's just call a truce?

Link: I'm paying you a visit

Revali: HELP ME

(Revali has gone offline)

(Link has gone offline)

Daruk: That wasn't really nice you know...

Impa: I had to do something. Paya is much too shy to talk with Link

Daruk: Oh well...

Impa: I wish you a splendid day :)

(Impa has gone offline)

Daruk: .....

Daruk: So...

(Zelda is back online)

(Urbosa is back online)

Daruk: Well this is awkward

Zelda: Urbosa?

Urbosa: Yes...?

Zelda: Can I just ask one question?

Urbosa: ...

Zelda: Why?

Urbosa: Sweetie I... um...

Daruk: Out of all the guys in Hyrule... it just had to be Revali?

Urbosa: .... he... how do I say this...?

Zelda: How do you say it Urbosa?

Urbosa: He's funny... he's... Revali talks different with me

Daruk: In the groupchat? That's a bit hard to believe

Urbosa: No, not that...

Zelda: Oooooooo

Daruk: I get it now

Zelda: You text with each other, right?

Urbosa: 😳

Daruk: Does he send sappy morning and night texts?

Urbosa: Were just... friends... that's all

Zelda: And here I thought you two hated each other's guts

Daruk: I thought this was all a love triangle between the Princesses and the little guy but...

Zelda: ?

Daruk: This is just a straight up hexagon instead xD

Urbosa: Ha ha very funny

Zelda: Daruk?

Daruk: Yes Princess?

Zelda: Do you have someone special?

Daruk: Of course I do

Urbosa: Really?! Please tell, I want to hear this.

Zelda: Me too

Daruk: I sleep with her every night

Zelda: .......

Urbosa: Wow um...

Daruk: My rock bed

Urbosa: ....

Zelda: That's nice

(Zelda has gone offline)

(Urbosa has gone offline)

Daruk: They're just jealous I'm actually happy with my soul mate :)

(Daruk has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Link is back online)

Link: ......

Link: Another day... another god damn day....

(Revali is back online)

Link: ...

Revali: Nope.

(Revali has gone offline)

Link: .... freaking bird

(Link has gone offline)

(Zelda is back online)

(Mipha is back online)

Zelda: Um....

Mipha: Hi... Princess...

Zelda: Hey Mipha

Mipha: ....

Zelda: Okay, listen.. this isn't going to get us anywhere

Mipha: What do you mean Princess?

Zelda: Link.

Mipha: Oh

Zelda: Yeah so... look... I don't like how things are between us now. It really isn't fair

Mipha: I'm listening

Zelda: Link... he's stressed so much with his work, our love quarrels only multiply it

Mipha: You're right...

Zelda: I've been thinking a lot about it lately

Mipha: Me too

Zelda: It isn't fair for him, or for any of us

Mipha: ... yeah.....

Zelda: But...

Mipha: ?

Zelda: Although.... although I love Link with all my heart...... I just...

Mipha: ..

Zelda: I know... he... will be... so... so much happier....... with you

Mipha: ....

Zelda: Please, I don't want to ruin our friendship all because of jealousy... I just want things to go back to what they used to be

Mipha: Do you.. really mean that?

Zelda: Every word

Mipha: ..

Zelda: I've made up my mind last night. I cried about it, but I know it's the right thing

Mipha: Princes... I......

Zelda: Please, you can just call me Zelda :)

Mipha: ... <3

(Urbosa is back online)

Mipha: Hey Urbosa! ^-^

Zelda: Heya!!

Urbosa: Sav... sa.... what is this?

Zelda: What do you mean?

Urbosa: I scrolled up a little and... just... wow... Princess...

Mipha: It's okay, we talked about it

Urbosa: I'm proud you learned to let go

Zelda: Aww thank you :D

Urbosa Of course!

Mipha: I'm happy now that we're all h-

Zelda: Since you're here Urbosa.. I would like to discuss you and Mr. Banana Freak himself

Mipha: .... I spoke too soon....

Urbosa: Do we have too...?

Zelda: Take advantage of the fact it's only us girls here

Urbosa: But....

Zelda: One question only. Why?

Mipha: I'd like to know that too....

Urbosa: Do you really want to know?

Zelda: I need to know.

Urbosa: Well... Revali... he, um...

Zelda: Go on. I'm writing all this down

Urbosa: He... we... when's it's only us two alone.. we.. talk differently

Mipha: ?

Urbosa: Revali... although a pain sometimes.. he's really nice and funny towards me

Zelda: Really?

Urbosa: Yeah.. and his sense of humor.. it's actually.. attractive.. besides his usual dark jokes on here

Mipha: Dark.

Zelda: So, is that it?

Urbosa: I don't know how to explain it. He's also been the only... guy I've actually gotten to know personally

Zelda: I mean, that makes sense

Mipha: Awww owo

Zelda: That doesn't make sense though. You two hate each other here... like heavily dislike

Mipha: True....

Urbosa: I uh, well... he doesn't know that I might've had feelings for him so...

Mipha: ?

Urbosa: When Revali is around others.. he seems to change, I don't know why. He becomes really aggressive and mean-spirited

Mipha: Mean-spirited?

Zelda: Asinine in other words

Mipha: Ahh

Urbosa: That's when I lose my patience with him and... let my feelings get confused

Zelda: This should be an interesting entry in my diary

Urbosa: Princess... please...

Zelda: Haha, no.

Mipha: Urbosa, why haven't you at least told us about it? We could've helped.

Zelda: What about the Gerudo?

Urbosa: ... I never told anyone that.. much less my people. I'm afraid what they will think of me

Mipha: Just be happy with who you want to be with. Don't let other's opinions discourage you <3

Zelda: Yeah.. what Mipha said

Urbosa: ..... But what if Revali...

Zelda: In that case, it can be both a good thing, but also a bad thing.

Mipha: ....

Zelda: And I'm heavily accenting on "good thing"

Urbosa: Oh well.... wait

Mipha: ?

Urbosa: I don't want the others to read all this!!!

Zelda: Ah

Mipha: Oh dear....

Zelda: Don't worry ;)

(Zelda has cleared previous chats)

Zelda: I learned a few more tricks

Urbosa: Ha... you're a lifesaver

Mipha: ^^

(Daruk is back online)

Zelda: Just in time...

Daruk: ?

Zelda: Oh, nothing :)

Daruk: Okay.. what's up girls?

Urbosa: Kinda bored actually

Mipha: Me too...

Daruk: It has gotten really quite around here ever since that... um.. incident

Zelda: Yeah.. cough

Mipha: Don't worry, me and Zelda made up earlier

Daruk: Really? That's news >.>

Mipha: <3

(Revali is back online)

Urbosa: Ahh

(Urbosa has gone offline)

Revali: ?

Mipha: ...

Revali: Oh... right, I remember.

Zelda: Wait Revali, it's not like that!

Daruk: I'm just gonna relax and watch everything unfold. Anyone else that wants to join is invited :)

Mipha: .....

Revali: She's here too...? This is hella awkward

Mipha: Um...

Zelda: Omg QUIET FOR ONCE AND LET ME EXPLAIN!!!!

Revali: No need to be rude

Zelda: .....

Daruk: XD

Zelda: Listen, I just want to break down this... no, it's not a triangle...

Daruk: Hexacontakaienneagon?

Mipha: ..........

Daruk: The holy polygon with 69 sides

Zelda: Um....

Revali: What the hell Daruk? Now you too?

Daruk: :D

Zelda: Anyway.... whether you know it or not, we know you like Mipha

Mipha: ....

Zelda: Like really like her

Daruk: To the point where you wanna have kids

Revali: DARUK

Daruk: Heh, sorry mate

Revali: Do I have to be here?

Mipha: Yes.

Revali: ......

Zelda: And I know someone else that has feelings for you too

Revali: Yeah yeah.... Miss Genie in the Lamp... I heard last time loud and clear

Zelda: Actually, let me go get her

(Zelda has gone offline)

Revali: Bruh...

Mipha: ....

Revali: So um, Mipha? How.. are you?

Mipha: Good... I tried Cucco for lunch today. It tastes kinda like fish

Revali: ......

Daruk: Damn.

Revali: ......

Mipha: ..

Revali: .....

Daruk: :)

Revali: ......

Mipha: Are you okay?

Revali: Another... fellow brother... has fallen prey to................

Mipha: Oh, sorry about that

Revali: It's okay..

(Zelda is back online)

(Urbosa is back online)

Urbosa: Do I have to be here???

Zelda: You have no choice.

(Link is back online)

Zelda: Oh, hey Link

Link: .....

(Link has gone offline)

Zelda: Okay, that went smooth. We don't need him anyway.. at least now

Revali: Dramatic sigh intensifies

Zelda: So Revali, why... do you... gosh this sounds weird.. why do you like Mipha?

Revali: ... is that a question?

Daruk: It's an undisputed fact

Zelda: Yes, I'm asking you

Revali: Well.... Mipha... she...

Mipha: It's okay Revali, I won't get mad

Revali: Mipha... was the only.. person who actually... acted like a close friend..... she never.. ya know.. acted like a jerk to me, even if I was one..

Daruk: Again, damn.

Mipha: ..

Revali: To tell the truth.. I always view myself as the weakest Champion here.. the least worthy. I just... to be able to represent your people as a heroic figure in Hyrule, it's really.. stressful. There were plenty of other candidates out there that were better then me but.. no, I was chosen.

Zelda: Why didn't you open up to us? Were your friends...

Revali: I couldn't bring myself to.. but I did try to prove myself worthy to you all... like when I invented Revali's Gale..

Mipha: You did that... just for us?

Revali: Yeah...

Daruk: Once again, Damn.

Zelda: Daruk...

Revali: But then came Link in the picture.. and he outperformed me in everything... my new move was literally nothing when he came along. I was... so... so... jealous.. he was a better Champion than I'll ever be. That's why I always acted so... like a jerk around here..

Zelda: ........ where does Mipha sit in all this?

Revali: I'd often turn to her for advice and... comfort since she was the nicest person to me whenever I needed help.. I guess..... I got thinking

(Link is back online)

Revali: ....

Daruk: Welcome back little guy

Zelda: Link?

Link: Go on Revali.

Revali: I'm sorry.... Mipha

Mipha: For what?

Revali: I kept causing drama between you and Link just for my own selfish reason... I didn't want to lose to him again.. when it came to feelings

Mipha: Hey, it's alright. We all make mistakes.. that's where forgiveness comes into play

Zelda: Yeah :)

Revali: You.. really mean that?

Link: I guess?

Revali: .....

Revali: And Urbosa?

Urbosa: O-O

Revali: Thanks for... you know. I never imagined someone would have feelings for someone as low as me

Urbosa: ..

Mipha: My heart!!! ❤

Zelda: Aww

Urbosa: Revali... I...

(Saria is back online)

Link: ?

Zelda: Oh, hello Saria!

Mipha: Hiya! ^^

Saria: Huy evuyone!!!

Link: Sis.. what.. where are you?

Saria: I'm wit Paya rit now! Wer playun hide an seek!!!

Zelda: I bet it's a lot of fun sweetie

Urbosa: Yeah...

Link: So.. um...

Saria: Oh yuh, speekig of bruder, I fond anoder Skeika Slate undr his bed!

Link: JW*@#%O jen%@&xos Ha@%@

(Link has gone offline)

Zelda: Wait what?

Daruk: Link has another Skeikah Slate?

Saria: Mhm! I'm goin thru his picturs now!!

Zelda: Interesting...

Mipha: ....

Revali: So this guy thinks he can get away with another tablet eh?

Daruk: >:)

Zelda: Saria... sweetie... could you perhaps tell us what pictures your brother has?

Urbosa: Yes please

Saria: Oh.. I've bun scrollin fur a whil an it's only Mipha picturs so far... not evun haf waiy der

Mipha: !!!

Zelda: Really??

Saria: Yuh! A lot!!!

Revali: Holy damn.

Daruk: Indeed lol

Zelda: Thank you Saria ^^

Urbosa: I wonder how long he had it for?

Zelda: A while I'm guessing, judging by the quantity of Zora pictures in it

Mipha: ........

Zelda: Don't worry, I'm not mad <3

Mipha: Thanks..

Saria: Oh um.. Paya is abut ta find me.. got to go! Bye!!!

Urbosa: Take care honey

Zelda: Bye!

(Saria has gone offline)

Mipha: Hey...

Daruk: Hm?

Mipha: Why is Link here...?

Revali: >.>

Zelda: What do you mean?

Mipha: I'm sitting on Vah Ruta's trunk and... he's swimming out here...

Daruk: I'm getting butterflies in my stomach

Urbosa: ?

Revali: It means he's hungry

Urbosa: Oh.

Mipha: He's... coming up here....... wait.. is that my Zora.. Armor?

Revali: I'm lost

Daruk: Same here

(Mipha has gone offline)

(Sidon has come back online)

Urbosa: Ohh hey Sidon! :D

Sidon: Hello!

Revali: Yo

Daruk: What's up big guy?

Sidon: Well um.. I was chasing Link.. but I couldn't catch up

Zelda: ?

Sidon: I kept tripping on my dorsal fin and holding this stupid tablet

Urbosa: Awwwww 😁

Zelda: Why were you..?

Sidon: Link just came into the Zora Domain out of nowhere and went to Mipha's room

Revali: Pervert....

Sidon: And came out with sis's special armor....

Urbosa: Um....

Sidon: So I followed him all the way to the pier and... wait... WAIT WAIT WAIT

Zelda: ?!?!

Revali: The suspense is killing me

Sidon: Mipha and Link are on Ruta's trunk... and... and...

Zelda: WHAT'S GOING ON?!

Sidon: Link got down on one knee

Zelda: ....

Urbosa: Omg...

Sidon: He.. seems to have opened a small box... sis is.... she looks like she's about to die

Revali: ....

Daruk: It's okay man

Revali: ........

Sidon: Now she's jumping up and down excited

Zelda: Is this.. what I think..?

Sidon: They're hugging

Revali: Okay.

Sidon: They're looking at each other

Revali: Maybe too much information?

Sidon: They're kissing.... holy... I've never seen anyone kiss like that

(Revali has gone offline)

Daruk: XD

Zelda: Omg omg omg omg

(Sidon has gone offline)

Urbosa: DID HE JUST?!?!?!

Zelda: OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!

Daruk: owo

Urbosa: OUR LITTLE HYLIAN HAS PROPOSED TO OUR TENDER SUHSI!!!!

Zelda: I think I'm about to cry :'D

Urbosa: I MUST GO THERE RIGHT NOW!

Zelda: I'm coming too!!

(Zelda has gone offline)

(Urbosa has gone offline)

Daruk: Damn.

(Daruk has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Mipha is back online)

Mipha: Oh, today is such a good day!!!

(Sidon is back online)

Mipha: Sidon! What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at your lessons with Muzu?!

Sidon: I sneaked off

Mipha: What???

Sidon: I'm swimming around some lake and the fish are biting good here

Mipha: Get your fins right back to Muzu this instant!!

Sidon: Maybe I'll just pretend I didn't hear that

Mipha: Sidon! I'm counting till three!

Sidon: ;)

Mipha: Don't try me...

Sidon: :D

Mipha: One...

Sidon: :)

Mipha: Two...

Sidon: Fine, I'll go. If I remember, I should also mention that his prized student is getting married to Li-

Mipha: WE DON'T NEED TO ARRIVE TO SUCH HASTY DECISIONS

Sidon: Heheh

Mipha: .....

Sidon: Hey sis

Mipha: Yeah...?

Sidon: Did you tell father?

Mipha: No...

Sidon: You really should

Mipha: But... what will his reaction be?

Sidon: Are you kidding me? Father literally squeals every time he sees Link like he's some sort of angel!

Mipha: He is an angel. My angel.

Sidon: And he's gonna be my brother!! :D

Mipha: Step brother, to be exact

Sidon: No, brother sounds better!!!

Mipha: .....

Sidon: Oh well

(Urbosa is back online)

Mipha: Hii Urbosa!!

Urbosa: HEY THERE'S MY PROUD LITTLE ZORA!!! 😁😁😁

Mipha: Aww, it's good to see you too Urbosa.. <3

Urbosa: When will the wedding take place?! Will it be at your place or his or m-

Sidon: In her bedroom. Just Link and sis alone.

Urbosa: .....

Mipha: Um... he's not usually like this

Urbosa: I suspect the little Zora had a few private tutoring lessons with a certain Rito

Sidon: Hey!! I'm not little!!!

Urbosa: Oh, I'm sorry. How could I forget how strong and brave you are? I bet your sister is proud of you

Sidon: Well... only when I don't talk

Mipha: That's not true...

Sidon: :D

Urbosa: But Mipha, do tell about your plans! You know how excited everyone is to hear the news!

Mipha: E-Everyone...?

Sidon: O.o

Urbosa: Word spread out like wildfire over here. It's the only thing the Gerudo are taking about nowadays

Mipha: I was wanting for it to be more private but....

Sidon: Well I'm gonna go. Turns out you can't text and eat Hylian Bass the same time anyway

Urbosa: .....

Mipha: He has an interesting way of eating fish

Urbosa: Ah... interesting....

(Sidon had gone offline)

Mipha: The wedding though... I don't know... me and Link haven't really talked about it

Urbosa: Why not? It's been three days since then!

Mipha: Link had to attend several ceremonies with the Princess. He got some sort of promotion and now has to be by her side at all times

Urbosa: Oh.....

Mipha: I mean, I tried to make plans and arrangements, but it's too much stress on me at the moment

Urbosa: So he's been staying a lot with Zelda...

Mipha: Yeah. Too much for my liking but...

Urbosa: Was she against the idea in any way?

Mipha: No... the Princess, I mean Zelda.. seemed almost happy at the decision

Urbosa: My head hurts.

Mipha: ?

Urbosa: I thought you two made up

Mipha: Well yeah but.. I knew Zelda couldn't give up Link that easily. I know I wouldn't have the power to stand down myself if he chose her over me

Urbosa: The poor girl is just confused, that's all

Mipha: I guess....

(Revali is back online)

(Daruk is back online)

Daruk: And a fine day to everyone here

Mipha: Thank you Daruk ^^

Urbosa: Likewise

Daruk: Also, it's good to see you Mipha! How have things been since... you know

Mipha: Oh, just fine... just fine...

Revali: ...

Daruk: When are the babies coming?

Revali: . . . . . . . . . . . .

Mipha: Um...

Daruk: Whatever they're gonna be... Zoras with... Geez... I don't even know where to start

Urbosa: Daruk... please tell me you're not gonna be the new Revali...

Revali: ....

Daruk: Old feathercheeks here is already acting like Link 2.0

Urbosa: You do have a point there

Daruk: He's been impersonating Link a lot lately. I bet he likes the Hylian

Revali: @?^# &SN!B #*#^?!@( WJX FHS

Mipha: ???????

Urbosa: Sweet Naboris I'm choking

Revali: GOD DAMN IT DARUK CAN'T YOU JUST SHUTUP FOR ONE FRICK-

Mipha: Language Revali!!!!

Revali: ......

Urbosa: ;-;

Revali: .....

Daruk: That really hurt his ego

Revali: ...

Daruk: A lot.

Revali: I hate you.

Daruk: Thank you. I love you too :)

Urbosa: Listen guys... let's just all chill out for at least a day, and give Mipha a break. She has a wedding to plan

Revali: ......

Daruk: Don't worry dude, I know how it feels.

Revali: ...

Daruk: My bed too, rejected me at one point and I had to sleep outside for a year

Urbosa: What the hell

Revali: I'm mentally disturbed Daruk

Daruk: Okay, in all seriousness, you've got to let go of your feelings and stop simping for Mipha here

Mipha: ....

Revali: Excuse me?

Daruk: You're a simp. I'm just saying it now bluntly. There are plenty of other fish in the sea

Revali: ...

Daruk: Pretty sure the other Zoras at Mipha's place are fish to-

Mipha: Technically Zoras aren't fis-

Revali: IT'S NOT THE SAME!!!!

Daruk: Welp, gonna grab my poprocks

Mipha: Revali...

Revali: What??

Mipha: Will you listen to what I have to say?

Revali: F-Fine...

Mipha: I think it's sweet that you developed feelings for me... really... but my heart now belongs to Link.. I'm sorry if that hurts but, you've just got to move on

Revali: ....

Daruk: Wait for it...

Urbosa: Daruk..

Daruk: Wait for it...

Revali: I DON'T WANT TO LOSE TO THAT BASTARD AGAIN. I JUST WANT HIM TO DIE.

Daruk: Bingo.

Urbosa: ....

Mipha: ....

Daruk: Mipha might've taken that personally

Mipha: I'm sorry you feel that way Revali.. but it's time to move on

Revali: ...

Mipha: But someone else here has feelings for you well

Daruk: owo

Urbosa: ....

Mipha: Not you Daruk

Revali: Yeah yeah, Miss "I wanna zap Revali buttcheeks" of course

Daruk: Simp.

Revali: WOULD YOU CUT THAT OUT?!

Daruk: Simp.

Mipha: ....

Daruk: Revali still simps like a simp for Mipha, Urbosa simps for Revali, who doesn't doesn't simp for her in return, Zelda still has some holy simp in her for Link...

Revali: And you're together with your bed

Daruk: As all things should be ;)

Mipha: How do you Gorons even reproduce?

Urbosa: I've... always wondered that myself

Daruk: That, ladies and gentlemen, is classified for Science only.

Mipha: ....

Daruk: Which also reminds me, how do Zoras reproduce? Much more, how would a Hylian and Zora ma-

Revali: COUGH COUGH COUGH

Mipha: Well... I... um... how we.....

Daruk: Don't worry. I'm sure you two will have plenty of practice after the wedding ;)

Mipha: ..........

Revali: ..

Urbosa: I think Daruk has literally gone full on Ravioli insane.

Daruk: Simps.

(Zelda is back online)

Urbosa: Ah, thank goodness you're here Princess!!!

Mipha: Zelda?

Daruk: Hello??

Zelda: Guys. I need help. Now.

Daruk: Phh, simp.

Zelda: .....?

Urbosa: Ignore the big fella. What's wrong?

Zelda: Well, I was minding my own business here at a stable, and then Link began probing this Cucco for eggs

Daruk: Damn.

Mipha: LINK!!!!!!

Revali: ....

(Link is back online)

Mipha: LINK!! ARE YOU ALRIGHT HONEY?!?!

Link: Yeah...

Zelda: We hid inside a crate just a few minutes ago...

Link: A million of those feathery demons swarmed us

Urbosa: Surely you're overreacting Link...

Link: No... I can see in their eyes... they want to destroy and eat me alive

Revali: That's true you know

Mipha: ....

Zelda: It's your fault!!

Link: I didn't eat breakfast okay?! Can't a guy have a fried egg at least?

Revali: No.

Zelda: This is the last time you're coming with me at the stables.

Link: ..

Daruk: Well hopefully there's enough leg room in there. I would hate to spend the next several minutes squished in a tiny compartment

Link: ......

Zelda: ...

Urbosa: ?

Zelda: Well... I kinda have to sit in Link's lap... it's a very small box and.. the Cuccos are still outside patrolling with knives

Mipha: .... oh dear.. I should make my way there

Link: Um...

Zelda: Mph! Link, is that your sword's handle underneath me?

Revali: >.>

Link: What...?

Urbosa: ....

Zelda: I feel something hard under me.. I can't put it exactly... can't even move to see what it is

Link: .....

(Link has gone offline)

Daruk: Ooooooh

Revali: Oooooooooooh

Mipha: ?

Zelda: Aww, come on Link, my butt is numb from sitting in it all this time. I'll just grab and move......... it........... wait...

Mipha: W-What?

Zelda: What in Hylia...? Link...? Is that...? DID I JUST GRAB YOU-

Daruk: Simp overload

(Zelda has gone offline)

Revali: Damn. Link already cheating on his fiance

Mipha: .......... I don't get it..

Urbosa: It's better you not..

Mipha: But I... wait....a oh... I understand what she meant...

(Mipha had gone offline)

Revali: Somehow, this day got a bit brighter for me

Daruk: Me too dude

Urbosa: .... men...

(Urbosa has gone offline)

(Daruk has gone offline)

(Revali has gone offline)

Chapter Text

(Revali is back online)

Revali: .....

Revali: I hate this place.

(Revali has gone offline)

(Daruk is back online)

Daruk: I'm hungry.

Daruk: Hello? Anyone?

Daruk: ....

(Daruk had gone offline)

(Link is back online)

Link: Geez.... why won't anyone respond to my messages... it couldn't be because of that incident

(Sidon is back online)

Link: Thank Hylia... hey Sidon...

Sidon: ..

Link: ...

Sidon: ....

Link: Is something wrong?

Sidon: ....

Link: Come on... your big brother wants to talk with you... well, soon to be..

Sidon: I don't know if you're gonna be my brother anymore

Link: Wait, what was that again???

Sidon: What I... said

Link: Hold up now!! You don't know about what happe-

Sidon: Sis told me. Then Revali too. The entire Domain knows.

Link: ......

Sidon: So....

Link: I can't.... even have one day... one god damn day to myself in peace.. together with the love of my life..?

Sidom: Um...

Link: Come on Sidon... you know I would never do that to your sister...

Sidon: I don't know.

Link: Please... it seems that everyone here is against me.. it's too much for me to handle

Sidon: Well, since you put it that way...

(Urbosa is back online)

Urbosa: Sav'saaba everyone. Oh, hey Sidon! :D

Sidon: Hi! 😁

Urbosa: How is my favorite Zora doing today???

Link: I thought it was Mipha?

Urbosa: Sidon has obviously taken that spot

Sidon: Heh, I'm doing really good! Finished my lessons early today!

Urbosa: Delighted to hear that. How's your sister doing? ^^

Sidon: She's um...

Link: ...

Sidon: Kinda.. sad?

Urbosa: I think I know why

Link: Wait! Urbosa, you can't seriously believe that!!!

Urbosa: I mean... really, I don't even know what to believe at this point.

Link: IT WAS A GOD DAMN MISUNDERSTANDING!!!

Sidon: .....

Urbosa: Link....

Link: ..... why is that everytime I try to get together with Mipha, something happens.....

Urbosa: .....

Link: It hurts.. for all I know, everyone in Hyrule now thinks I cheated with the Princess... but to hear that from you guys.. it hurts..

Urbosa: .......

Sidon: ....

Urbosa: Hey... maybe I was too harsh there

Sidon: Yeah..

Urbosa: I'm willing to believe it was an accident. No point in overreacting to something silly as this

Sidon: I agree!!

Link: You.... thanks...

(Daruk is back online)

Daruk: Hey everyone!!!

Urbosa: .... hi Daruk...

Link: ......

Daruk: Let me guess, this is about me eating all the snacks at the party last week?

Link: ... no?