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Ranboo always knew he couldn’t die.
( He was a god after all, and if gods could die then they wouldn’t really be “all powerful beings” now would they? But then if they could die, there was also the problem of what would happen to their domain? )
When you’re a god, being immortal kind of comes with the territory. Ranboo always knew he couldn’t die. (He was the God of Balance as well as being the oldest being in the universe after all. He was created with this knowledge, and he also knew that if gods were to die, it would upset the balance of the universe. ( Which was kind of his whole thing, as it was basically the reason he was created .) However, there were some very specific circumstances where a god might choose a successor and chose to pass on after extensive training of their Chosen. ( Ranboo however, would never wish godhood on anyone. ))
However, the time he first proved he couldn’t die wasn’t a very fun experience for anyone involved.
This was very early on in one of the first worlds ever created. It was a beautiful place, and favored by several gods, including the God of Life who created this world. The creatures that had been created varied greatly. Some were very clever, others very strong, and still others had been imbued with small parts of the God of Life’s magic, creating very powerful people. At one point, there ended up being fighting rings. It was quite fun to go and watch all the different creatures fight, and see what the first creatures were capable of. Of course, they were never to the death, and all injuries were healed by the Zdravilec , the creatures blessed by Life, afterwards.
Ranboo often went to watch these fights when he wasn’t off seeing to his duties. At one point, he even decided to join in the events like many of the other gods were wont to do. He had never really fought before—there was no need to when you couldn’t die and rarely spent time with beings who tried to kill you—but he found great pleasure in learning a new skill, and worked hard to get better at fighting. He competed many times, won some, lost some, and ultimately became fairly good at fighting with a sword. Eventually, he got to the point where he was winning almost every match. Some of his opponents, however, were not very happy about that, to say the least. They decided to corner him after one of his fights, and after exchanging heated words, stabbed him. He had to awkwardly stand there as they stared at the golden blood flowing out of the wound. His attackers were very confused, tried to stab him again (and obviously failed), and he ended up having to go to the Goddess of Memory and ask her to wipe their memories. After that, he decided to train to get better and to always carry a weapon to defend himself with, so he wouldn’t get into any more awkward situations like that, and either have to wipe their memories, kill them, or tell them the truth (and none of those were very good options). Except for today of course. ( Because why couldn’t the universe just give him one day of peace )
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Ranboo knew, unlike several other people on this server, as well as other servers, that Technoblade was not, in fact, the Blood God. He did, however, know that Technoblade had interacted with the Blood God before. He doesn’t know the complete story, but he can guess at what happened. Techno’s quiet muttering he heard sometimes when there was no one around. Ranboo knew that this was probably because of the voices that the Blood God blessed people with. The red eyes, the fighting style, and his “immortality” (not immortality, just never being slowed down by pain, and therefore always being able to kill the opponent before they can kill him) also contributed to his theory.
Sure, they could just be one of his idiosyncrasies, but Ranboo highly doubted it. These attributes (combined with the fact that he was called the Blood God ( Ranboo wasn’t dumb enough to ignore that red flag )) pointed to him being favored by the Blood God.
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Ranboo needed more wood. He’d traded a lot of his sticks to stock up on more emeralds ( not that he needed any more, he just wanted more. He liked the look of them. They looked like his eye! ). So to solve this problem, he decides to head off into the forest near his house to get more wood (even though it’s the middle of the night; it’s not like he needs sleep). At first, he’s just wandering, thinking. Unfortunately, he gets too sucked into his thoughts to notice that he was entering a clearing that was currently occupied.
He’s jerked out of his thoughts to the sound of a loud thud , and a startled warble manages to leave his mouth.
Unfortunately that noise draws the attention of the occupants of the clearing, and Ranboo is startled to notice that the person in the clearing is none other than Technoblade (who’s fighting a zombie). Ranboo studies the man, noticing something is off, and decides to ignore the bloody netherite axe in his hand that is illuminated by the moonlight. He takes notice of the pristine white poet’s shirt, the pig mask covering his face, his scabbard at his side holding his sword, the dangling emerald earring hanging from his piglike ears, and the red fur-lined cloak clasped with a gold chain that matches his earring. His long pink hair is neatly braided, not a hair out of place, and the golden crown is placed perfectly on top of his head. All in all, looking abnormally neat and clean considering what he was just doing.
“Uh, hey Techno. Um… sorry for interrupting you? I, uh, didn’t know you were here. Uh- speaking of which, what are you doing?”
Ranboo is a little startled when instead of answering, the pinkette turns back to the zombie and beheads it in one swing. He’s impressed with the man’s power and control.
Ranboo takes a few more steps further into the clearing, hesitating when the piglin hybrid turns back around to face him. He’s a little confused as to why Techno hasn’t responded yet, and is about to speak again when, in an unfortunate turn of events, the anarchist lifts his axe in the air and runs at him.
Ranboo is shocked and horrified. ( What did he do to Techno to cause him to want to kill him? He hasn’t done anything to offend him has he? He’s paid his rent! How rude for someone to attack a person with the very weapon that was gifted to them by that person! ) Ranboo leaps to the side, face planting in the snow. He reaches into his inventory ( curse it all! Where is his axe? Guess he’ll have to go with a sword instead, although defending himself against an axe is going to suck. It puts him at a disadvantage. ) and pulls his sword out. ( Times like these are when he’s grateful that he can see in the dark. )
The axe is crashing down toward him and he lifts his sword to hopefully block it.
Ranboo is impressed with Techno’s fighting prowess. He is powerful but graceful, and always aware of his surroundings. He is prepared for any situation as well. In the middle of the fight, Techno corners Ranboo against a tree. He swings at him, and the monochrome teen darts out of the way, effectively causing Techno’s axe to get stuck in the tree. After hopelessly and pointlessly trying to tug it free, the pinkette smoothly turns to face Ranboo, pulling out his sword, and beginning to approach him with purposeful steps. Once Ranboo is within reach, the man attacks him again.
And then Ranboo realizes (with no small amount of shock) that he recognizes this fighting style. He’s had many duels with the Blood God—her personality being rather hot headed—as well as training each other in different fighting styles. ( Ah, so Techno must have been taken over by the voices. He has no clue what he’s doing. ) And upon discovering that, Ranboo also realizes that he can’t hurt Techno (he didn’t want to before this discovery either, and tried his best not to).
So, there’s Ranboo. Dodging and parrying and defending himself, but not attacking or trying to harm his opponent. This goes on for some time, The Universe watching, holding its breath, waiting for one of them to slip up. And in the end someone does. Ranboo, their beloved. He steps back, away from the swings of the sword. However, he steps on a rock, rolling his ankle and falling back. His head hits another rock, and he is pulled into darkness. (The last thought Ranboo has before everything is black is he’s going to bleed, and it will be golden, and he won’t be awake to change it to purple ) His opponent stops, darts forward, and The Universe cries out as the blade slips between Ranboo ribs, puncturing a lung and filling it with blood. The voices are now satisfied.
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Techno opens his eyes, relieved to finally hear the voices letting go and retreating to the back of his head. He stands up from where he was kneeling in the snow, and glances around the clearing he is in, trying to find the sword that is missing from his scabbard.
And then he finds it. And he’s horrified. His teenage neighbor is on the ground before him: eyes closed, covered in (golden?) blood, and, the scariest part of the image? Techno’s sword sticking out of his chest.
Oh goodness. What does he do? He had probably just killed his neighbor who had done nothing except happen upon him when he was filled with a bloodthirsty rage, and could not recognize anything around him.
( Focus on the issue at hand, Technoblade. Make a plan. Okay what needs to be done? Deep breaths. ) he nervously eyes his sword ( Okay. That’s probably the first step. Pull it out )
He gulps and quickly pulls the sword out of Ranboo’s chest, hoping it was the correct thing to do in this situation. He sighs, relieved, when he notices Ranboo’s chest still moving with his breathing ( Crap. That probably should have been the first step—make sure he was still alive ).
( Great. Step one complete. Now step two. Help heal him. Phil! Phil could help, couldn’t he? Now’s just the problem of getting him to Phil. Okay. Get him to Phil and worry about the rest later. He could do this, couldn’t he? )
And then in one smooth motion, he scoops the bleeding teen up into his arms, running as fast as he can through the snow towards his home, panicking the whole way, and praying to any gods that would hear (including the unconscious one in his arms) that the teen would live.
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“PHIL! PHIL!” A tall man with pink hair stumbles towards a well-lit home, a tall, lanky teenager in his arms. “PHIL! I NEED YOUR HELP!”
The front door slams open, a short man—his shoulder length blond hair pulled back into a low ponytail, including a small braid that is barely visible under his green and white striped bucket hat—rushing out, and freezing at the sight of the monochrome body in the other man’s arms. “What’s wrong? What the heck happened mate?”
“The voices, Phil. The voices,” the man says, nearly sobbing in fear and relief and hope that his friend/father figure could help.
“Phil? Wait- Techno?” Another voice says from behind the man on the porch. And then a head of blond hair, and a tall teenager with a white shirt and red sleeves pokes his head around the man in green. Blue eyes alighting on the teenager covered in a golden liquid in Techno’s arms and freezing with a gasp of horror and surprise. “Ranboo?!”
“Tommy? What are you d- not the time. Phil. I need your help. Ranboo’s bleedin’ out and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know first aid stuff or anythin’” Techno says rushing through the snow towards Phil.
“Come on, let’s go inside to figure this out.” Phil says, shooing the boys inside.
Techno walks in the house and into the front room, noticing the two tea cups sitting on the table in front of the couch. Phil rushes over and lays a blanket down on the couch, and Techno walks over and gently sets the person in his arms on said blanket.
“Okay. Okay. Phil. What do we need? How do we save him?” When Techno glances over at Phil, he’s confused to see him frozen and uncertain. “Phil? Everything okay?”
“Uh… yeah. It’s just, um,” Phil scratches the back of his neck nervously. “Are you sure you stabbed him? Maybe you made it up? Because, uh, it doesn’t look that bad! Maybe you just grazed him?”
“What? No! I definitely stabbed him Phil! My sword was sticking out of his chest! I had to pull it out!” Techno, traumatized, leans closer to the teen, examining the cut. He’s astonished when he notices that it doesn’t appear to be very deep. “What the heck? What’s going on here?”
“I don’t know,” Phil says, looking guilty.
“Phil,” Techno responds accusingly.
“Oh great… I’m gonna have to explain. I hate to do this without his consent though,” Phil mutters.
“Do what?” Tommy questions, leaning on the back of the green chair next to the couch.
“Uh, Tommy, mate? You mind leaving us alone for a moment?” Phil responds hesitantly. (the fewer people who find out, the better.)
“Yes,” Tommy says instantly. “I’m not movin’ from this spot. You,” he stabs a finger in Phil’s direction, “do not order me around. I’m staying here.”
“Right,” Phil winces. “So… Uh, Ranboo is immortal, so he can’t die,” the oldest conscious person quickly forces out.
“WHAT?!?!?” Techno exclaims, shocked and confused at the same time as Tommy nonchalantly says, “Oh. I already knew that,”
“WHAT?!?” Phil and Techno both whip around to look at Tommy.
The teenager awkwardly shrugs, scratching his arm. “Yeah. Uh, he told me like a week ago?”
“Oh my gosh I can’t believe you found out before me” Techno groans, bringing his hand up to cover his eyes.
“Ha! Take that jerk! I’m better than you! I’m clearly the favorite!” Tommy taunts.
“Wait, Tommy?” Phil interrupts their argument. As entertaining as it may be, the realization that someone else knows Ranboo’s secret has Phil concerned.
“Yeah Dadza?” The teen responds, turning to look at him.
“Who else knows?”
“Oh! I think it’s only you and I, cause Ranboo told me I was the second to find out. Second only to the biggest man ever, Philza Minecraft himself, of course.”
Phil shakes his head, rolling his eyes and sighing fondly, opening his mouth to either join in on the teasing or ask another question.
“Hold up. Back to the subject at hand,” Techno interjects, holding his hands up in the universal sign for stop. “Ranboo’s immortal? Since when?”
“The beginning of time, duh. He’s the oldest being in the universe?” Tommy says with a tone of voice signifying that he thinks Techno is an idiot. He then snorts and shakes his head, walking out of the room and towards the front door ( is he seriously leaving right now? ).
“I’m sorry what? I think I heard you wrong, because you surely did not say the beginning of time,” Techno called after him.
“Mate,” Phil sighs. “Do you know that poem?” At Techno’s confused head tilt ( we’re talking about poems right now? Now of all times? When there is an apparently immortal god that he thought was just his teenage neighbor bleedin’ out on his couch? ) Phil continues before trailing off, “First was darkness, then came light…”
“Then was balance, to absolve all fight. Third was life, and then came death. A fight over first and final breath,” Techno finishes off and raises an eyebrow. “Yeah? What does that have to do with anything though?”
“Ranboo’s the God of Balance big man,” Tommy answers, coming back into the room with his shoes now on and a slice of cake in his hand ( he’s leaving isn’t he. Seriously man? My world just changed and you’re abandoning me in my time of need? Not that I actually need you or anything, but it’s the sentiment man! )
Techno shoots him a glare. That was his piece of cake, thank you very much. And then what Tommy said sinks in, and he straightens, startled. “He’s the WHAT?!?” Ranboo twitches at the volume of his voice, and Techno winces, quietly apologizing while the teen calms down. He continues once he is sure that the apparent god is not going to wake. “So you’re telling me, that this teen, person, whatever,” he points to the unconscious being on their couch, ignoring Tommy’s wrinkled nose, offended on behalf of his not friend for being called a ‘person or whatever.’ “Is immortal,” he raises a finger, “the God of Balance,” he raises another, “and the oldest being in the universe?” he holds up a third finger, incredulous.
“Yup!” Phil exclaims happily.
“What has my life come to,” Techno moans. “Why am I not even surprised? Oh my gosh it’s all adding up now! He never sleeps, he’s such a pacifist—that must be his domain at play—and gets along with everyone-”
“As amusing as it is to see Techno’s world crashing down around him and everything else going on, I, unfortunately, have to be getting back home,” Tommy says cheerfully. “Goodbye Dadza! Goodbye The Blade! Tell boob boy over there to call me on his comm when he wakes up!” And then he grabs a cloak off the back of the chair next to him, turns around and opens the door. He walks out, slamming it shut behind him, and Techno can faintly hear the crunch of snow as he walks away.
He then continues on as if nothing ever happened, “-his appearance—how he doesn’t know what his other half is, it’s probably just the way he looks—he never gets hurt-” and with that statement, Techno cuts himself off. He looks down at the god on the couch, and questions, “He… never gets hurt. So… how did I hurt him?”
“I have no clue, Tech.”
“He’ll be okay though, won’t he?” the piglin hybrid asks worriedly, leaning over to peer at the unconscious teen.
“I’m sure he will,” the other man responds reassuringly. “But we’ll just have to wait to know for sure,” Phil sighs and then leaves the room, Techno sitting down on the green chair by the couch to question his existence until the apparent deity in his living room wakes up.
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Ranboo opens his eyes ( when did he close them? ) and sees a blur of pink and red hovering over him. He blinks to clear his vision, and realizes the blob is Techno, his mask missing. “Hey Techno. What happened?” he asks.
“I nearly killed you,” Techno says and raises an eyebrow.
Ranboo’s eyes widen as all his memories come rushing back.
“And then I found out that you can’t die, so all my worry was for nothing,” he says, his monotone voice and stone-cold face giving nothing away.
“Oh.”
“‘Oh?’ ‘Oh?!’” Now Techno’s mask breaks: his voice no longer monotone, and face and voice revealing his anger and betrayal and worry? . “That’s all you have to say for yourself? I nearly killed you! If you weren’t a god, you would be dead! And it would be on my conscience! Speaking of which! When were you going to tell me you’re a god?”
Ranboo groans and closes his eyes, wishing he were still unconscious.