Chapter Text
“HANS!” A big and loud shout was heard from the end of the hall, Hans, Eddie and Holly McClane turned around to see a bruised, bloody and dirty John McClane holding a machine gun, the man limped towards them. Hans took hold of Holly’s arm and held her at gun point.
“This was all about? A fucking robbery?!” McClane demanded at the realization of the many bags Hans and Eddie had been loading.
“Put down the gun” Hans demanded as he moved around with Holly still by his side.
“Why did you had to nuke the whole building Hans?” McClane asked
“If you steal six hundred dollars you can just disappear, when you steal six hundred million dollars they will find you unless they think you’re already dead, now put down the gun” Hans explained has he pressed his gun to Holly’s temple.
McClane hesitated and assessed his options in this tense situation, Hans put more pressure on his gun and finally McClane dropped his machine gun onto the floor. Eddie quickly grabbed his own machine gun.
“Nein, this is mine!” Hans yelled at his underling.
McClane put his hands behind his head and said “You got me”
“Still the cowboy Mr. McClane, Americans all alike. Well this time John Wayne does not walk into the sunset with Grace Kelly” Hans mocked the surrendering police man in front of him.
“That was Gary Cooper asshole” McClane corrected.
“Enough jokes” Hans said.
“You would’ve made a pretty good cowboy yourself Hans” McClane remarked
“Ah yes, what did you said to me before? Yippe kay-yay, motherfucker?” Hans said as he pointed his gun towards McClane.
McClane began laughing at the top of his lungs, both Eddie and Hans got the contagious laugh themselves, the next thing happen way too suddenly, McClane shot Hans through the chest, with the bullet shattering the window behind him and Holly, and Eddie was shot on the head, Hans grabbed Holly’s wrist as he dangled on the air.
“Happy trails Hans” He heard McClane quipped.
Hans saw the terrified expression of Holly and the exasperation of McClane as he tried to free his wife from his grip. Hans began pointing his gun to McClane, his chest was hurt but he wanted revenge, he was almost aiming his pistol at McClane’s head when Holly’s wrist watch became loose and his grip subside, and before he noticed he was falling.
During his fall from the Nakatomi Plaza Hans Gruber saw his life past in front of his eyes as he saw the McClanes looking as he fell, he could hear the cops talking and the hustle of every police officer and reporter on the scene, he embraced for the impact, for his death to come only to fall into a nice chair on a dark and candle lit office in what it look a castle. Where was he and how did he got there? He didn't know.
Hans looked first at his chest and saw that his chest was unharmed, the bullet wound wasn’t there. He looked himself into a mirror that was on the office, his suit was the same, his hair, and even himself was the same, although he apparently had lost his gun during the fall. “Blasted McClane” He thought to himself.
He adjusted his suit and cleaned his face with the handkerchief that was on his pocket, let’s gets some answers.
He stepped out of the office to see what it look like a classroom, nothing out of the ordinary although it reminded him of the monastery in which he grew alongside his brother Simon, he walked to the door to see a hallway, he apparently was on a castle indeed, the snow outside indicated him of the weather, he saw a redhead boy about twelve years old walking alone with books on his arms.
“Boy, where am I? What year is this?” Hans asked the boy who looked startled at him.
“It’s Christmas sir, the year is 1988 and you’re in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry” The boy said as he had been ordered, not questioning the man in front of him
“If it’s a school why are you here? You should be at home opening your presents” Hans said to the boy
“My brothers and I didn’t went to home this year, Professor Snape, sir, my mom send us a letter telling us that our younger brother and sister had dragon pox so we stayed here for our safety, I was on my way to the library, do you need something else sir?” The boy asked
“That’s all… I can’t remember your name” Hans said to the boy
“It’s Weasley sir, Percy Weasley, I know having three almost identical Weasleys makes it difficult to keep track of who is who, just wait until my twin brothers assist here next year, anyway I should be going Professor, have a nice day” The boy, Percy nodded as he walked.
“By the way nice suit sir, and I like your new style, as the Muggles would say it’s very chic” Percy said as he was leaving, Hans smirked as he was complimented on his looks, a Gruber should always be dress to impress.
With a new resolution Hans re-entered his office and began reading the books next to his desk, what baffled him more was that the notes on every book was written on his letter, just who was this Professor Snape that had his same face, voice and handwriting?
Hans began reading as he found the topics on every book very interesting, even the notes on every chapter was like if he had written for himself, he noted that there was a wand on the desk and many chapters told him how to do magic using one’s wand.
Hans didn’t hesitate and took the wand on his hands, he immediately felt a rush of power flowing through his body, he grinned from ear to ear and decide to put some of the easier spells at practice.
He went to the classroom and in less than two hours, if his Rolex was correct, he had mastered the spells Wingardium leviosa, said spell had to be enunciated perfectly or else it wouldn’t work, Accio, a spell to get him things which was useful because many things were out of his reach on the classroom, Petrificus totalus, a spell to freeze everything in place, at least that’s what Hans thought, Sectum Sempra, one to hurt his enemies, if only he had that wand when he faced McClane, and he was currently practicing one named Bombarda, Hans liked the way it sounded but he was impressed when one of the wooden bench on the classroom was blown to smithereens, he pictured it would have been very useful during his undertaking of the Nakatomi Plaza against those pesky officers.
Although he was very entertained practicing magic his use of the latest spell brought the attention of a blonde woman around his age who peeked her head on the door.
“Professor Snape, are you alright?” The woman asked.
“Who are you?” Hans asked the woman.
“It’s me professor, Charity Burbage, from Muggle studies” The woman said
“Ah yes Professor Burbage, I didn’t recognize you standing there in the shadows” Hans explained at the blonde woman, he really needed to read about the staff in this place if he was going to stay.
The woman approach him and he could see her features better, the woman was just a little younger than him but she was beautiful still, not chubby but wasn’t skinny either, her long blonde hair fell gracefully behind her shoulders and her round face was a sight to be seeing as she had a sincere and honest smile.
“I’ve always thought that the Potions Dungeon wasn’t the best place to teach, perhaps you could add more candles or open the curtains.” The professor said.
“Yes, I thought that the candles weren’t the best source of light, I should bring fluorescent lamps” Hans said.
The woman’s face got bright at his suggestion. “That’s an excellent idea professor, I’ve been trying to bring the Hogwarts castle to the Twentieth century since I was in first year many years ago, maybe with your help we could ask Professor Dumbledore to do it, I know they say that Muggle technology doesn’t mix with Magic but I believe they can do in fact belong together” Professor Charity said overly excited.
“Well my watch still works so I guess “muggle” artifacts can work on the magical world” Hans said pronouncing intensely on the word she used.
If Hans thought that the woman’s face got brighter then he would have never expected what came next, she grabbed his arm and looked overly excited at his Rolex “A Rolex Oyster Sotto, one of the most expensive wrist watches on the world, since when did you have one?” Professor Charity asked
“From a couple of years, it was a gift from my brother” He said without thinking
“I didn’t knew you had a brother professor” She said.
“Shit” Was what Hans thought inside his head “He works in Germany, I don’t talk too much with him to be honest, just a couple of letters or small gifts to know we are still alive"
“I get it, I have a sister that works at Austria” Was her reply, both of them stood there not knowing what to say. Then she broke the silence asking “So… what were you doing?” She said
“I thought I saw a rat and tried to eliminate it” Hans said.
“With a bombarda spell?” She inquired
“Yes, it caught me by surprise” Hans said.
“It must have been the rat of Percy Weasley, I’m used to every type of animal but there’s something about it that unnerves me about it” She said honestly
“You and me both, I despise rats, especially those that enter to your house without invitation” Hans said while picturing John McClane’s smug expression and how he wanted to give him every spell he has learn and make him suffer.
“Professor, since when did you changed your hair and grew a beard?” She asked him
“It’s a new look I’m trying, for the New Year, what do you think about it?” He asked her for her opinion, being an exceptional thief as he himself thought he was a good liar under pressure.
“I think you look handsome professor, no offense but that look of long and greasy hair wasn’t a good look, and that suit makes you look dashing instead of those robes that wasn’t making your figure a favor” Professor Charity said.
“Thank you professor, it’s a John Philips, a nice tailor I found when I went to London” Hans revealed
“You went to London?! How was it?! Was it beautiful?” Professor Charity began asking him many questions, Hans was a patient man but mostly a cunning man, and this woman could make him get info about many of the ins and outs of this so called School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and who knows maybe get himself a nice woman to settle, not that that was his main goal but it could make him avoid suspicions about who he really was.
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On another place of the world laid on the ground a man dressed on black robes and long hair, in one of his hands was a flask with a weird potion, the LAPD looked at the man only to confirmed that he was dead, the impact had broken every bone in his body and exploded his organs.