Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

My name is Sam Winchester. My life hasn’t always been what you’d call ‘normal’. I’ve been a hunter my whole life. No, I don’t hunt deer, or duck. I hunt the creatures that usually keep your kids up at night. Demons, werewolves, vampires. You name it, I’ve hunted it.

I’m not like most hunters. See, most hunters move around and never stay in one place. It keeps them safe from the creatures they hunt and from the authorities that are usually after them. I stay in one place because I can. I’m not one to brag but I’m really good at what I do and I’m not worried about any creatures getting to me. At least that was what I said before that demon with a flamethrower destroyed my home.

Hold on, let me back up a bit.

Being a hunter doesn’t pay much of anything; in fact nine and a half times out of ten you don’t get paid at all. So of course, I had a normal job. I worked as one of the head project managers at Blue Cross and Blue Shield Health Insurance, specifically cancer and tumors. It took me quite a while to get there and I was just as good at that job as I was hunting.

I was a favorite around the office. People liked seeing me and greeted me all the time. I was the go-to guy for almost everything. Big job means a big salary and man did I use it. I had a condo on the top floor of a condominium complex on the upside of town and I had an expensive car (a black 2012 Dodge Charger blacktop).

I was living the high life.

And he ruined everything.

This dick Gabriel Novak, the new guy. He comes in that office, all jokes and smiles and a damn lollipop in his mouth and he thinks he knows what he’s doing. He didn’t work in my department but he was close enough that I had to see his stupid smirk every day.

Every day it was the same thing. He walked by my cubicle, his shirt only half tucked in, his tie a mess. He had a yellow lollipop that day. I could smell it. It was pineapple flavored. He smiled at me, all lips and no teeth, and then continued on his way to the copier. I glared.

If I had a tumor, I would have named it Gabriel.

So, about that demon and the flamethrower. He had been watching me for a while. At least that’s what he told me. To make a really long drawn-out story short, he had a flamethrower and he ended up using it on my condo before I could stop him. I managed to exorcise him just before the fire department showed up.

That was the first step that pushed me toward my bizarre situation that involves me living with a man that went by the name of ‘Lucifer’.

I didn’t want to be a bother to the other hunters in the city, so instead of asking them to let me stay with them, I took to staying in different hiding places at night. I knew that in most parking garages, people never parked above the seventh floor. So I stayed on the ninth. Always better to be safe than sorry.

The whole hermit deal went on for about 2 weeks before I met him. He approached me one day while I was sitting having a beer at one of the bars in the shadier side of town. Probably not the safest idea since I was wanted by a lot of dangerous people and creatures but hey, a guy’s gotta get his booze somewhere.

“Sam Winchester, right?”

I looked up at the sound of the smooth voice addressing me. Standing next to my booth was a tall blonde man in jeans and a t-shirt, a contrast to my button up shirt and slacks I had worn to work. I stared at him for a moment before nodding.

“That’s right.”

He stuck out his hand, smiling.

“Nick DuBois.” He said. I took his hand, surprised at his grip.

“Sam Winchester, but you knew that.” I said with a smile.

“May I?” He said. I nodded and he sat down across from me, still smiling at me. I called for another glass and Nick poured himself a glass of beer, swallowing it down easily.

“You’re probably wondering how I know you.” He said, hands in his lap. I shrugged. I was pretty well known, as a hunter and as a project manager.

“I’ve heard your name through the grape vine. Word on the street is you’re a pretty good hunter.”

Okay so it was the hunter part he knew. I smiled and shrugged again.

“I’m alright I guess. I’m not fantastic. Who’d you hear about me from?” I asked because honestly I think I’d remember the name ‘Nick DuBois’. Nick gestured vaguely.

“One of my hunter buddies said to look you up. Heard about your condo. Bad luck, man.” He said, soberly slightly. My smile faded a little but I just took another sip of my beer.

“Yea most demons don’t like me very much. What can I say, I’m good with Latin.”

Nick chuckled and poured another glass for himself.

“I’m pretty good with demons too. I’ve earned the name ‘Lucifer’ somewhere along the way. That’s the name most people know me as and I go by more often than not.”

I laughed, feeling pretty relaxed around this guy already. He seemed really relatable and down to Earth. From there we chatted idly about hunting; what we’ve encountered, what method did we use to kill it, what our track record as far as the law went was. We had a lot in common I discovered and I found myself liking him a lot. Before I knew it, it was late and we had gone through 3 pitchers of beer.

We left the bar through the back. I slipped my jacket back on and awkwardly shoved my hands in my pockets. I wasn’t totally smashed but I was more than a little buzzed and I was kind of worried about getting to my hideout safely. Of course I wasn’t about to say anything.

Nick, sorry, I mean Lucifer put his hands in his own pockets and turned to me expectantly.

“So where are you staying now? You know since your condo is currently out of commission?”

His tone was a little mocking but I knew he meant well. At least that’s what the alcohol was telling me. I looked around, shrugging. I had done a lot of that this evening.

“Wherever I can stay hidden from the cops. Top floors of the parking garages usually.”

I heard him snort and then chuckle slightly.

“That’s pretty smart but you know what’d be smarter?”

I turned to him and hummed in response. He clapped a hand onto my shoulder with a smile.

“Staying in a safer place. Come stay with me.”

I may have been staring because he shook me slightly.

“Come on it’ll be fun. I could use a roommate.” He looked at me with both eyebrows raised and I let out a sigh, nodding my consent. A smile spread across his face and for a moment I felt a little nervous. There was something predatory about that smile. I quickly forgot about it because he was speaking again.

“Awesome. Let’s go get your stuff and then we’ll head to my place.”

He slung his arm around my shoulders (as best as he could since he was shorter than me) and we set off, leaning on each other slightly.

Chapter Text

I don’t know how Lucifer found that house, but he said he had been there for a year. It was probably the alcohol in my system that let that statement make sense, considering he had told me at the bar that he was visiting the city. Whatever it was, it kept me from bringing that little issue up. As we stood just outside the wire fence, I observed my surroundings with a raised eyebrow.

The front yard was covered in trash and various machine parts. There wasn’t really a yard; just some random patches of grass that didn’t even look like grass anymore. The paint on the outside of the house was peeling and the windows were so dirty that they looked black. It looked like it was waiting to be torn down but Lucifer called it home so without a word I followed him up the stairs and through the front door.

The inside wasn’t much better. As it turns out, the windows weren’t dirty, just boarded up. There was no lock on the front door from when the police or whoever kicked it in. Lucifer motioned for me to follow him so I picked up my bag and did. He led us to the stairs and we ascended.

Those stairs were ready to collapse, a fact that was proven by one splitting down the middle when I stepped on it, almost breaking my ankle. I cast him an exasperated look but he was still walking so he didn’t see it. I didn’t know if he owned that house or if he was just squatting. Neither would have surprised me. Hunters took what they could get. In all actuality this house was just barely worse than my uncle Bobby Singer’s house. His house was cleaner and not in danger of condemnation, but it was still a close call.

Lucifer pushed open a door near the top of the stairs and stood aside, sweeping his arm inside. I glanced around him before entering. There wasn’t much in there: a dirty window (surprisingly not boarded up but filthy enough for it not to matter), a lamp on top of a stack of magazines, and a dusty, bare spring mattress. I placed my bag on the ground and eased myself onto the mattress. Lucifer hovered in the doorway before pointing down the hall.

“Yep so this is you, and that’s me,” he pointed to another door adjacent from mine, “and that’s the toilet. You good?” He asked, smiling at me. I gave him a tight smile in return.

“Yea thanks.”

He nodded and left me. I pushed on the mattress, hearing it squeak.

What a shithole.

I soon figured out that the cosmetics of the house weren’t the only problem. Nothing worked. The morning after I arrived, I went to take a shower. I cranked the knob for the water. There was a horrible noise that tore through the pipes before ugly rust colored water spurted from the showerhead. Needless to say, I didn’t take one.

The list of issues grew. Turning on one light meant another light in the house went out. It annoyed the hell out of me for a while whereas it didn’t bother Lucifer one bit. My light would go out, I’d hear him yell ‘sorry’ from wherever he was, and then I would have to wait for him to turn his light back off for mine to come back on. I got used to it eventually.

There were no neighbors, just some warehouses and a paper mill; that fart smell of steam, that hamster cage smell of woodchips. It made the mornings peaceful, far more peaceful than it ever was in the city. I would sit on the island in the middle of the kitchen and watch the pink and orange sunrise as Lucifer toasted bread over the burner on the stove top, wearing his bunny slippers and his pink bathrobe with coffee cups on it, cigarette hanging from his lips.

At night, Lucifer and I were alone for a half a mile in every direction. We’d sit on the front porch and drink beer, sometimes talking, sometimes siting in silence. A few times we got pretty drunk and ended up hitting golf balls into the side of the buildings across the street. We never retrieved them from the other side of the road. A little more trash on the ground wouldn’t hurt anything, not when we were the only residents.

Every time it rained we had to kill the power. I’d stand on the stairs while Lucifer braved the flooded basement. The water often times came up to my knees, and since Lucifer was shorter than me by a long shot, it came up way higher on him. I held the flashlight and Lucifer would flip the switches on the power box, jerking his hand away when sparks flew everywhere, a few of which always managed to get on him.

The rain trickled down through the plaster and the light fixtures. Everything wooden swelled and shrank. Since we had to shut the power down, the house became more dangerous than ever. Everywhere there were rusted nails to snag your elbow on. Luckily neither of us ever had that happen. We had bowls and buckets and just about everything else that could hold water scattered around the house, doing our best to catch the streams of water that were coming through the cracks in the ceilings and floors.

On one such rainy night, Lucifer was riding around the house on a bike in nothing but a dirty t-shirt, his bathrobe, his boxers, and a toboggan hat. He had found the bike abandoned a little ways down the street and had taken an instant liking to it so he brought it home. While he proceeded to ride in circles around the house, I was sitting on one of the dry spots in the floor, flashlight in hand, going through some old reading material I had found.

Obviously the previous occupant had been a bit of a shut-in.

“Hey man whatcha reading?” Lucifer asked. He rang the bike’s bell as he passed me, going back around the far wall and circling the living room again.

“Listen to this. It’s an article written by an organ in the first person. ‘I am Jack’s medulla oblongata, without me Jack could not regulate his heart rate, blood pressure, or breathing’.” I glanced up as he rode through the room again and rang the bell.

“There’s a whole series of these.” I said incredulously, skimming the remaining articles.

Another ring.

“‘I am Jill’s nipple’.” I flipped the page, shaking my head. “‘I am Jack’s colon’.”

I looked up when Lucifer came through the room again chuckling. I shined the flashlight on him as he passed.

“Yea, I get cancer, I kill Jack.” He said as he continued on. He stopped pedaling and the bike started to wobble. Lucifer drove right into the doorframe and fell off with about as much grace as an octopus, landing flat on his face. I did my best not to laugh. I couldn’t stop the snort that escaped though and Lucifer heard me, throwing me a rude hand gesture over his shoulder.

“I thought once you learn how to ride a bike you never forget.” I joked. Lucifer picked himself up off the floor and gave me a sarcastic look, brushing himself off.

“There’s always an exception to the norm, Sam.” He replied, coming to sit down in front of me and grabbing some of the articles. I looked at him. The way he had said that sounded like it had a double meaning. Thunder rolled in the background as I thought on it, but I soon disregarded it and went back to reading about Jack’s personified anatomy.

Chapter Text

Being a hunter is a hard and dangerous job. Injuries were plentiful and the doctors in my City liked to ask questions. I was never a good liar so sometimes Lucifer spoke for me.

We had been hunting a demon that had some information for us. We thought for sure we had him pinned down but somehow he got out of his restraints and threw me across the room, sending me head first into a bookshelf. It’s so cliché that I laughed afterwards.

Normally I would patch myself up but I was out of the supplies I needed and Lucifer had told me the size of the cut was dangerously deep so I had no other choice. We went to the hospital. That’s how I ended up getting stitches in my head.

I was on my back on the table while Lucifer sat on the counter across the room. The light the doctor had on me was bright and I fought the urge to squint too much. I didn’t want my stitches to be messy. I did flinch every once and a while when I felt the needle pull at my skin though.

The old man’s brow was creased as he looked at me.

“How did this happen, young man?”

I told you they liked to ask questions. It was then that I realized that I didn’t have a cover story. I was being put on the spot and that usually meant my lie was gonna suck. Bad. Then Lucifer’s soft voice came from across the room.

“You fell down some stairs.” He muttered, his voice too quiet for the focused doctor to hear. I gave the doctor a weak smile.

“I fell down some stairs.” I said. He nodded and finished sewing me up.

o-o-o-o-o

Lucifer didn’t just speak for me when I was hurt and getting patched up or when I needed to lie. I found myself channeling his way of doing things into my life subconsciously. My boss, Crowley, a dry-humored sarcastic British man, seemed to materialize in front of my desk one day.

“Name, Ruby. Gender, female. Classification, demon. Am I to assume that this is yours?” He asked, rolling his eyes at me. I eyed the flyer he had in his hand. My flyer. It was for a demon that most of the hunters in the area were looking for. I must have left it on the copier by accident.

“Huh?” I said dumbly, once again trying to find my words. Lucifer couldn’t help me this time so I was on my own. Crowley sneered at me, putting one hand into the pocket of his expensive dress pants, looking particularly snobby.

“Pretend you’re me, which let’s be honest, must be difficult for someone of your rank. Make a managerial decision. You find this,” he lifted the paper so I could see the front. “What would you do?”

From the way he was staring at me, with his eyes unblinking and an eyebrow raised, I knew I must have looked nervous. I was ready to go into full-blown panic mode when I felt my face smooth into a blank mask. I sat back in my chair, appraising my boss for a moment. The words came after a few seconds of silence.

“Well I gotta tell ya, I’d be very careful who you talk to about that because the person who wrote that is dangerous.”

I got out of my chair, slowly making my way around my desk.

“And this button-down Oxford cloth psycho might just snap and then stalk from office to office with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into colleagues and coworkers.”

I was standing next to him now. The look he was giving me was slightly nervous. My voice was soft. Dangerously so.

“This might be someone you’ve known for years. Someone very close.”

Lucifer’s words coming out of my mouth.

I could have sworn he flinched when I snatched the paper from him.

And I used to be such a nice guy.

“Or maybe you shouldn’t bring me every little piece of trash you happen to pick up.” I sneered, a nasty smile on my face. I don’t think I’ve ever seen my boss look so uncomfortable. He looked like he was going to say something but the phone rang. ‘Saved by the bell’ could be considered a relevant phrase for that moment. I answered it with a smile and he walked silently from my cubicle, his gait stiff and choppy.

Things like that happened more frequently the more I hung around with Lucifer. I was getting good at lying and weaseling my way out of awkward situations and unwanted conversations. I wasn’t sure if I should be nervous or not. I went with not.

o-o-o-o-o

Moans filled my ears… There was a warm body beneath me… I was thrusting into white hot heat… Gabriel's eyes were lit up a bright gold, like liquid fire… Gabriel...?

My eyes snapped open and I sat up in bed. That erotic dream was not welcome at all so I tried to push it from my mind as I left my room and ventured down the hallway. It was quiet. Too quiet. Lucifer’s door was closed. I’d been living there for two months and Lucifer’s door was never closed.

It was obviously closed for a reason so I didn’t bother knocking. Instead I went downstairs to find some breakfast. I was pretty sure we had some milk that hadn’t spoiled and Lucifer had just got some cereal the other day. I pulled a Tupperware bowl down from one of the cabinets and grabbed a spoon that was mostly clean, snagging the box of cereal and the milk before sitting down at the table.

I had everything put together and was happily enjoying it when I heard the creak on the stairs. Lucifer was finally awake.

“Dude you won’t believe the dream I had last night.” I said, shaking my head and taking another bite of my Lucky Charms.

“I can hardly believe anything about last night.”

That wasn’t Lucifer’s voice, and that wasn’t Lucifer standing at the sink washing his mouth out with my coffee cup. Gabriel turned back to cast me a look before spitting in the sink. Gabriel fucking Novak was in this house.

“What are you doing here?” I said, cereal forgotten. Gabriel turned slowly to me, confusion on his face.

“… What?”

“This is my house, what are you doing in my house?” I said, my brow furrowed. Gabriel stared at me for a moment longer before a disgusted look spread across his face.

“… Fuck you.” He snarled before he grabbed his jacket off of the table next to the door, making a hasty exit. I watched him leave, feeling just as confused and maybe a little pissed off when Lucifer entered the kitchen laughing.

“Man you have got some fucked up friends.” He said, still laughing. He grabbed a new coffee mug and filled it with the cold coffee sitting on the counter. He leaned against said-counter so he could look at me.

“So while you were out last night, the phone rang. Guess who’s on the other end?”

My stomach dropped. I already could guess the story before he told me…

Sam had just left the house when the phone rang. Lucifer wasn’t usually the one who answered the phone but he decided that it was better than letting it ring. With a melodramatic sigh, he picked the phone up and held it to his ear.

“Hello? Sam? It’s Gabriel.”

Lucifer felt a smile spread across his face.

A short while later he was standing outside Gabriel’s apartment door, knocking. A few moments later, the door opened revealing a short man with caramel hair and honey gold eyes. His mouth turned up in a smile.

“Well. I’m surprised you came. Come on in.”

Lucifer returned the smile.

Gabriel had beer. Lots of it.

I glared as Lucifer kept laughing. He was obviously able to handle Gabriel’s eccentric personality. He shook his head, walking over to the window to look out at our pathetic front yard.

“Man, I’m telling you what, but you know what I mean, I mean you fucked him.”

My stomach curled in on itself as I grimaced.

“No I didn’t.”

He gave me a surprised look.

“Never?”

“No.”

Lucifer narrowed his eyes at me before raising an eyebrow.

“You’re not into him, are you?”

My grimace deepened.

“No, GOD no.”

I am Jack’s raging bile duct.

“You sure? You can tell me.” Lucifer had a look of false concern on his face. I rolled my eyes, looking down at my soggy cereal.

“Believe me I’m sure.” I grumbled.

Put a gun to my head and paint the walls with my brains.

Lucifer looked relieved.

“Good cuz he’s a predator posing as a house pet, stay away from that one.”

I rolled my eyes again. This was just too much. There was no way Lucifer really liked Gabriel. I pushed the bloated cereal bits around the plastic container with my spoon, watching them fall apart.

“Gabriel doesn’t need a lover, he needs a fucking babysitter.”

Lucifer shrugged.

“Well yea, but this isn’t love, it’s sport fucking.”

Somehow that sounded appropriate for both of them.

o-o-o-o-o

Fast forward a month or so.

“Is that your blood, Samuel?”

I looked up at the sound of Crowley’s voice, cigarette dangling from my lips. I looked down at my shoulder, seeing a spot of blood. This must have been a shirt I wore on a hunt. Oops.

“Some of it, yea.”

Crowley looked a little peeved.

“You can’t smoke in here and you know it.”

I snorted, not even bothered when Crowley’s face got stormy.

“Take the rest of the day off and come back Monday with some clean clothes. For God’s sake, get yourself together.”

With that he left the cubicle in a huff, hands once again in his pockets. As I packed my things up, I felt like I had won some silent victory. I wasn’t quite sure what the battle had been or who with, but it didn’t matter.

As I walked down the stairs, I got right in everyone’s hostile little face. Yes there is blood on my shirt. Yes I am okay with that. It’s because of me that you’re all able to sleep safely at night. I continued down the steps, tugging my shirt loose from my pants as I walked. I didn’t have a car so I had to walk back to the house.

I made my way through the gates and up the pathway to the house. As I entered the house, my eyes automatically went to the ceiling. The only sounds I heard in the entire house were a rhythmic thudding and what couldn’t be anything other than screaming. Gabriel screaming.

You give up the condo life, give up all your flaming worldly possessions, go live in a dilapidated house in the toxic waste part of town, and you have to come home to this.

I headed straight to my bedroom, closing and locking my door. I tried to occupy myself with reading, but I have to say, Gabriel was definitely in the highest order of screamers. Lucifer wasn’t exactly quiet either and I felt a little weird listening. I could have gone to the third floor where I may not have heard them, but that meant passing Lucifer’s bedroom.

Of course I had to eventually when I needed to go to the bathroom before bed. They had been going at it for hours. I was a little worried that they were going to hurt themselves. I tried to walk as quietly as possible, but when I got to Lucifer’s door, it was slightly cracked. Curiosity is a bitch and after a moment’s debate I found myself trying to peek through.

I nearly had a heart attack when the door opened and Lucifer stood before me in all his naked glory save for some neon yellow rubber gloves. I really didn’t want to know. Really didn’t want to know.

“What are you doing?” He asked, looking at me blankly. I swallowed and motioned at the bathroom.

“I’m just going to bed.” I said lamely, my voice soft with embarrassment. I could hear Gabriel still moaning and making little noises from the bedroom. I glanced past Lucifer and watched as Gabriel tumbled gracelessly off of the bed with a thud. Lucifer followed my gaze.

“You want to finish him off?” He asked, cocking his head at me. I actually considered it before I realized what I was doing and shook my head.

“No I’m okay.” I said, dropping my gaze from his intense blue eyes.

“Alright goodnight.” He said. I turned to leave but I heard Gabriel speak again, his voice rough from screaming.

“Found the cigarettes… Who are you talking to?”

“Shut up.” was the last thing I heard before Lucifer slammed the door and the screaming and yelling resumed.

Sport fucking.

It was still relevant.

And no I didn’t feel jealous. Not at all.

Chapter Text

Fast-forward a few months. Lucifer had gone away on a long hunting trip a week or so prior. I hadn’t heard anything from him since he left. He wouldn’t answer my calls or my texts. My email inbox remained empty. Any other hunter would have gotten suspicious and gone out to try and find him, but I knew Lucifer, and he’d be pissed if I tried to involve myself so I stayed at home. I made sure my phone stayed charged and on the highest volume though, just in case.

Nothing ever came.

Fast-forward another week, give or take a few days. Things were getting really weird. People who saw me out and about began to greet me as ‘Mr. DuBois’. That’s not my name, it’s Lucifer’s. I brushed it off the first few times, assuming that Lucifer knew them and that he had been asked about me living with him. Maybe he had been telling them that I was a visiting relative, I don’t know. All I knew was that the hellos didn’t go away. They got more frequent. Eventually I had had enough and I was going through Lucifer’s room. His trip had gone on long enough.

I went through his drawers and found nothing, not even a hint of where he went. In fact, most of his drawers were empty save for a spider or maybe a dead cockroach. There was a lone sock in one drawer but I dared not touch it. I was about to give up hope when I spotted a stray piece of paper peeking out from under his bed. It was a sticky note with the words ‘hotel reservation’ and an address on it.

“Bingo.”

The hotel listed was a Hilton Suites, a state over. It took me a little bit to get there since I had to take the train but I made it all the same. I grabbed a cab and made my way to the hotel on the sticky note. When I stepped out of the car I whistled low. It was a damn nice hotel, very uncommon for a hunter. A hunter’s usual place of temporary stay was a shady motel on the side of the highway. This was the fucking Hilton Suites. Lucifer was definitely not trying to keep a low profile. It made me wonder what kind of job he was working.

I entered the main foyer and the receptionist at the desk looked up, smiling at me.

“Welcome back, Mr. DuBois.”

I stopped, staring at her. Now the people at home I could understand, I mean they knew Lucifer more than likely, but this woman was in a totally different state and I had never met her before in my life. It’s not likely that he told her about me since he probably wasn’t expecting me to show up, so how was it that she—

I felt myself pale. I had a theory as to why all of this was happening but it was heinous and I could hardly believe it myself. Well, more like I didn’t want to believe it. I would just have to piece the puzzle together slowly, not rushing anything.

I approached the front desk with a smile.

“Hi, uh, I’m really sorry but while I was out I lost my room key. Do you have a spare by any chance?”

She nodded and handed me a new key, smiling and telling me to be more careful. I smiled back weakly and went to the elevator. I felt like my organs were lodged in my throat as I opened the hotel door and entered the lavish space. I stared around for a moment, trying to make sense of it all when I realized something. Lucifer wasn’t there.

I was starting to really get nervous so I did something I thought I’d never do. I called Gabriel. I don’t know how I knew his number. I had never called him before but that wasn’t important at the moment. I just dialed and waited.

He picked up after four rings.

“Yea?”

His voice was bored.

“Gabriel it’s me. Have we ever done it?” I asked, not bothering to say my name because he knew my voice.

“Done what?”

“Have we ever had sex?”

“What kind of stupid question is that?” He sounded exasperated.

“Is it stupid because the answer’s yes or because the answer’s no?” My stomach clenched when he laughed at me.

“Is this a trick?”

“No Gabriel it’s not a trick, I need to know—“

“You mean you want to know if I think we’re just having sex or making love?” He sounded like he was mocking me but regardless I felt my stomach flutter.

“So we did make love…”

“Is that what you’re calling it?” Back to irritated. That worked because I was getting annoyed too.

“Just answer the question Gabriel, please. Did we do it or not.”

He hissed his reply at me.

“You fuck me then snub me. You love me, you hate me. You show me your sensitive side, then you turn into a total asshole, is that a pretty accurate description of our relationship, Lucifer?”

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

“… What did you just say?...” I managed to choke out.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“What did you just call me? Say my name.” I said desperately. I heard Gabriel sigh.

“Lucifer DuBois, you weirdo. What the hell is going on?”

I couldn’t have answered if I tried.

“That’s it I’m coming over.”

“No wait Gabriel I’m not there—“

He hung up on me.

“Hey buddy.”

I jumped at the voice, dropping the phone and standing up quickly. Lucifer himself was sitting in the chair adjacent from the bed on which I had previously been sitting. He looked… different. He wasn’t in his jeans. He was wearing a white suit with a red tie and black dress shoes. He had a red rose tucked into his breast pocket. Very formal, very put together, and very much freaking me out.

“Lucifer what the fuck is going on here? Why do people think I’m you?”

Lucifer didn’t say anything, only looked at me.

“Answer me!” I pushed, feeling my body getting jittery. Lucifer squinted at me before folding his hands in his lap.

“… Sit.” He said, motioning to the bed. I did.

“Answer me, why do people think that I’m you?” I repeated.

He had that predatory grin on his face again.

“I think you know.” He said vaguely.

“No I don’t.” I lied. He saw right through me as always, because he chuckled.

“Yes you do. How could anyone possibly confuse you with me?”

“I don’t know.” I said. Suddenly an image flashed before my eyes.

The vampire that Lucifer had killed a month or so back lying at my feet, not his.

I stared wide-eyed at him. His smile widened.

“You’ve got it.”

“No…” I said disbelievingly.

The shape shifter’s skin coming off in my hands and not Lucifer’s hands.

“Say it.” He prompted me. I took a deep breath.

“Because…”

Me firing the gun with the silver bullet that killed the werewolf, not Lucifer.

“Say it.” He said again, still smiling at me.

“Because… we’re the same person.” I finally said, feeling my stomach turn when Lucifer nodded.

“That’s right.”

I felt the panic rising up in my throat along with bile. I raked my hand through my hair, holding it in my fist.

“I don’t understand this.” I looked up as Lucifer pulled the rose from his pocket, spinning it slowly between his fingers as he looked at me in turn.

“You were looking for a new chapter in your life. Yes you were.” He insisted as I shook my head. He continued.

“You wanted something new, something exciting. Everything you wanted in life, that’s me. I act like you wanna act, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly,” he leveled me with a stare. “I am free in all the ways that you are not.”

I was shaking my head again, feeling lightheaded.

“No this is impossible. This is crazy.”

Lucifer looked amused.

“No. People do it every day. They talk to themselves and interact with people who simply aren’t visible to other people. They don’t have the courage to do what you did and just run with it.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“Naturally you’re still struggling with it so,” he shrugged. “Sometimes you’re still you.”

At the bar the night I met Lucifer, I’m talking to an empty seat and pouring beer into my own glass, refilling twice as often.

“Other times you imagine yourself watching me.” He continued.

The werewolf from a few months ago. I could have sworn Lucifer had been the one to shoot her.

“Little by little, you’re just letting yourself become Lucifer DuBois.” He said with a grin. I still just couldn’t even believe it.

“No. No, you have a house.”

“Rented in your name.” He answered as he began pulling the petals off of his rose, dropping them one by one onto the hotel room floor.

“You have friends, you have a whole life.” I insisted. Lucifer shrugged.

“No you have friends from out of town because of how often you travel.”

I was getting desperate. I scooted forward on the bed, looking at him imploringly.

“But Gabriel, you’re fucking Gabriel, Lucifer.”

Lucifer stopped pulling the petals off to smile at me.

“Technically you’re fucking Gabriel, but it’s all the same to him.”

I was between Gabriel’s legs, thrusting into him as he laid on his back half-way off the bed, one hand over his eyes and one hand buried in the sheets, moaning softly.

My stomach dropped out again.

“Oh my God…”

Lucifer spread his hands, keeping the rose between his fingers, expression falsely grim.

“Now you see our dilemma.” He said dramatically.

My heart was beating erratically in my ears, sweat was gathering on my brow, my hands were fisted in my hair, and everything was too brightly colored. I was having a panic attack and Lucifer knew it based on how he was watching me. I swallowed the lump in my throat noisily.

“This is bullshit, I’m not listening to this! You’re insane!” I said, turning to him, my eyes wild. Lucifer chuckled and stood up, dropping the rose.

“No, you’re insane, and we simply do not have time for your crap.”

My vision went black and I passed out.

It’s called a change over. The movie goes on and nobody in the audience has any idea.

Chapter Text

When I woke up again, I was alone in the hotel room. Lucifer was gone.

As I sat there on the bed, staring around at the empty room, a part of me just wanted to believe that it had all been a strange Kafka dream; that I had been staying up too late and imagined it all, but I knew I was just trying to make myself feel better about everything. I also knew I needed to get home and find Gabriel before he did something stupid, or before Lucifer took over again and he did something stupid.

I rushed out of the hotel, telling the desk girl that I was checking out and to bill me at my current address because honestly, I didn’t have time to wait.

As I sat in my seat in the mini jetliner that was taking me home, I couldn’t help but start thinking some more about what was happening to me and how it came to be.

Had I been going to bed earlier every night?

I walked up my front steps slowly when I finally arrived home. The key made a harsh grinding sound when I turned it in the lock, and the door squeaked when I finally got it open.

Have I been sleeping later?

I wandered the house aimlessly, looking for a sign that Lucifer had been there and knowing that I wouldn’t find it. The house that I had grown comfortable with just made my skin crawl now. I imagined what I must have looked like to an innocent passerby, if we ever had any that is. I must have looked like a freaking nutjob, talking to myself and interacting with people who weren’t there. Not to mention all the noise from when Gabriel had been over all those times…

Have I been Lucifer longer and longer?

With these thoughts spinning in my head, I ran out in search of Gabriel. Hopefully he was still okay. If Lucifer was really as much of an asshat to Gabriel as Gabriel claimed, then I didn’t want Gabriel to be around me… him… us? I shook my head and raked a hand through my hair, trying to pull Gabriel’s address to the front of my consciousness. This was more confusing than I wanted to deal with.

As I was jogging up to the apartment complex where Gabriel lived, I saw him leaving. I was thrown off for a moment since he was in normal clothes (orange sneakers, blue jeans, a dark green t-shirt that had a picture of Loki from The Avengers on it, a grey fashion scarf around his neck, a brown messenger bag, and black Ray Ban sunglasses… he looked really good actually. I’ve never seen him in anything but a suit and-- dammit FOCUS WINCHESTER). I quickly caught up with him.

“Gabriel! Gabriel wait!”

He turned and pushed his sunglasses down on his nose to look at me, glaring before pushing them back up and continuing to walk.

“I don’t want to speak to you.” He said loudly. I ran up beside him, noticing that even though he was walking pretty fast, I was hardly having to keep up. Any other time I would have smiled and made fun of how short he is, but this was a serious moment so I kept it to myself.

“Look I know you don’t, but I need a little act of faith on your part.” I half-pleaded. His whole body seemed to mock me as he curled his lip at me and started walking faster.

“Oh now here comes a whole avalanche of bullshit.” He sneered and kept walking even as I stopped and sighed loudly.

“I need a little more faith than that.”

I followed him into a little café on the street corner. He sat down at a table and crossed his arms as I sat down across from him.

“Listen man, I don’t want to hear ANYTHING you have to say.” Gabriel said flatly. I shifted in my seat.

“You have every right to be upset.” I said. He took off his sunglasses and tossed them on the table, one of his eyebrows arched sharply.

“You have about thirty seconds.” He said. I took a deep breath.

“I know that I have been acting very very strange, okay? And I know it’s gotta seem like there’s two sides to me when you’re with me--“

Gabriel cut me off with a snort.

“Two sides? Yea, you’re Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Jackass.”

I paused.

“… Alright I can agree that I deserve that but I’ve come to realize something very important.”

“What?” His tone was still flat. He wasn’t convinced. I needed to get my point across and fast.

“Okay, the full extent of our relationship hasn’t exactly been clear to me until now for reasons that I don’t really want to get into,” I faltered when he started to look irritated but I pressed on, “but the important thing is that I know I’ve been a total ass to you lately--“

I was obviously failing at keeping his attention because he rolled his eyes and started to stand.

“Yea whatever--“

My hand flew out, grabbing his wrist.

“No no, 15 seconds!” I said, panicked. “15 seconds. Don’t open your mouth. Please.”

He stared at me, sitting back down. His wrist was still in my grip and I tried not to squeeze too tight.

“I’m trying to tell you that I am sorry. Because I’ve come to realize that I really like you, Gabriel.”

He still had that elegant eyebrow arched but some of the ice in his eyes melted.

“You do?” He said softly. I could have sighed in relief.

“I really do.” I said, loosening my grip on him. “I care about you and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you because of me.”

Oops, wrong thing to say. The crease between his eyebrows was back as he cocked his head slightly at me.

“What are you talking about?” He said in a low voice. I wanted nothing more than to smash my head against the table. When I said I suck at this, I wasn’t kidding.

“Just trust me, being with me isn’t safe.”

“You’re an insane person.” He said, his voice full of mockery. Fuck, this was not going good AT ALL.

“No, listen--“

“Shut up.”

“Gabriel--“

“SHUT UP.” He shouted, making a few other customers look at us. I let go of his wrist and he put his hands in his lap, looking down at them before looking at me again.

“I tried, Lucifer. I really did.” He said and against my will I flinched. I didn’t like how he called me Lucifer. It rubbed me the wrong way. The broken tone in his voice pulled me back and I found myself leaning forward a little.

“I know you did.” I said helplessly. He sat up a little straighter and looked me in the eye.

“There are things about you that I like; you’re smart, you’re funny, you’re a fuckin’ beast in the sack,” (I’d have to take his word for it), “but you are INTOLERABLE.”

I felt my eyebrows draw down on my forehead in confusion. His gold eyes were wide and I had a fleeting thought that he could see into my soul.

“You have very serious emotional problems, deep-seated problems for which I think you should seek professional help.”

In any other situation, I would have thought he was being a bit harsh, but he was speaking the truth. I had some issues. I had a blonde dude who sat around in my head and called himself Lucifer. Doesn’t get much more fucked up than that I guess.

“I know, I’m sorry,” was all I could manage. Gabriel rolled his eyes.

“Yea, you’re sorry I’m sorry everyone’s sorry.” He spat out. He started shaking his head, his voice going quiet again.

“But I can’t do this anymore. I can’t. I won’t.” His eyes looked a little glassy and he swallowed.

“I’m gone.”

Before I could get in a word edgewise, he snatched up his sunglasses and strode out of the café. I jumped to my feet and ran after him. I couldn’t let him get away, not just yet.

“Gabriel listen I’m trying to keep you safe--“ I called out only to have him shout over his shoulder again.

“GO AWAY. I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.”

“If that’s what I takes, fine!” I said. I walked around in front of him, making him stop walking and watch in horror as I stepped into the street, stopping a line of cars and a bus. One particularly irritated driver honked at me.

“SHUT UP, shut up!” I shouted as he honked. I dug into my pocket and pulled out a roll of cash. I didn’t bother thinking about how it got there because I knew already. Lucifer always had money on him. I grabbed Gabriel’s wrist and placed the money in his hand.

“Here, take this money and get on the bus, and I promise I will never bother you again.”

Asshat number one in the car started honking again.

“SHUT. UP.” I roared, daring him to do it again with the snarl on my face. I softened my expression when I looked at Gabriel again.

“Gabriel, please get on the bus.” I said. Gabriel hesitated. “PLEASE get on the bus.” I pleaded. Gabriel rolled his eyes dramatically but he stepped up the bus stairs. I was facing away from him when he spoke again, and I had to stop myself from turning around.

“Why are you doing this?” He asked me, sounding suspicious. I was getting exasperated at this point. I didn’t know how strong Lucifer was and I didn’t want him overtaking me while I was trying to get Gabriel away from him.

“I can’t explain right now but just trust me, if I see where you’re going, you won’t be safe.”

I could imagine the look he was giving me. He spoke again.

“I’m not paying this back. I consider it asshole tax.”

I chuckled a little.

“Okay whatever, just stay away for a little while.”

“Lucifer?”

Again with that damn name. I turned around without thinking, but upon seeing the heartbreaking expression on his face, I wish I hadn’t.

“You’re the worst thing to ever happen to me.”

I didn’t say anything back to him, I couldn’t. For some reason, I felt like I had gotten punched in the stomach. The doors shut and the bus drove away, leaving me standing in the street. I watched it go down to the next light and turn right before I stepped back up onto the curb.

That was when I got grabbed and pulled inside a van and everything went black.

o-o-o-o-o

It was dark for a good while; at least 10 minutes if I had to guess. Then I was pulled out of the van and forced to walk somewhere. There were stairs… then a door opened, and then I was being forced into a chair. The bag came off of my head and I found myself staring up into the faces of 3 of my hunter buddies. I almost smiled at them but then I got a good look at their expressions.

“Hey guys,” I said nervously. They were binding my legs to the chair. “What’s going on?”

“You know damn well what’s going on, you son of a bitch.” One guy, Artie snarled. I jerked back. Something wasn’t right. Had Lucifer done something? Had I done something?

“Guys what did I do? What the hell is happening?” I said more urgently. I grunted when my wrists were tied to the chair’s arms. Luckily for me, Brandon wasn’t very good at tying knots. I could get out of those easily if I needed to.

“I’ll be asking the questions around here, you scum.”

Oh no, Will. Will was a brilliant hunter, so if he was in on this then I definitely fucked up somewhere. I scrambled to try and bring it to mind but Will was speaking again.

“How did you manage to possess Sam?”

Wait. What?

“What?” I said, totally confused. Will crossed his tattooed arms over his chest.

“You heard me. The guy’s got an anti-possession tattoo. How did you weasel your way inside him? Did you break the lines of it somehow?”

The pieces clicked into place and I felt like a complete and utter moron.

“Wait, you guys think I’m possessed? Seriously?” I laughed out, looking at each of them in turn. I couldn’t believe this. Well, okay. Maybe I could see why they’d think that. When someone starts acting like two different people all the time, the first thing a hunter is going to think is demon possession.

“Yea seriously.” Artie mocked me, crossing his arms as well. Brandon threw holy water on me but all it did was get me wet. They all looked horrified.

“You’re stronger than we thought.”

I rolled my eyes and flexed my arms, trying to get out of the ropes.

“I don’t have time for this. I’m out of here.”

That freaked them out because I got another cup of holy water in my face, this time tasting of salt.

“You can’t escape. We’ve got you in a Devil’s Trap.” Brandon said shakily. I glared, making him flinch back.

“Guys I’m NOT possessed!! Trust me on this, there is a perfectly normal, human explanation for why I’m acting weird, and I’ll gladly tell you if you let me out.”

They didn’t budge, and Will grabbed a book and started to read in Latin. I sighed again. The ultimate irony in all of this? My other personality was named after the Devil himself, the father of all demons.

Fuck me, it looked like I was going to have to fight my way out of this, so with another flex of my arms and shoulders, the knots holding my arms down popped open. I heard Will curse at Brandon and tell him to find the salt rounds. During that time, I slipped my feet and legs loose as well. It wasn’t hard to get Artie and Brandon out of my way, but Will was about as strong as I was, so it took a few more hits and a punch or two to my face to get him down, and even after all that he managed to shoot me in the arm.

FUCK it hurt more than anything I’ve felt. I screamed and kicked out, landing a foot in his face and FINALLY knocking him out. He had shot me with a salt round. Oh my God I could feel all the pieces of salt in my arm and it burned like tiny hot coals under my skin.

I tied them all up just in case they decided to follow me. God how was I going to fix this? After what I just pulled, there was no way they were gonna believe me when I told them the truth. I’d probably have to leave, and that sucked, but better safe than sorry. They were thinking of pumping some rounds into me (one of them technically succeeded), and that was just not something I wanted to experience.

I grabbed a handgun that was sitting on the table before doing the next thing that came to mind.

I ran.

I ran until my muscles burned and my veins pumped battery acid. I would have kept running except I heard a familiar laugh and skidded to a halt.

Lucifer was standing a few feet from me in front of a huge glass building, still in that fancy white suit of his, a new rose in his pocket. I shook my head, feeling white creeping into the corners of my vision. I was losing blood quickly.

“Sam, what the fuck are you doing running around waving that gun at people, man you look like a crazy person.” He asked. Now, any other logical person would have just kept walking or hell, maybe they would have gone to a hospital and gotten their gunshot wound looked at and then eventually would have asked to see a shrink, but not me. Nope, I decided to acknowledge to him.

“Stay away from me!” My head felt light and I was starting to sway a bit. He chuckled and gave me a look full of pity.

“Why? We’re having such a good time. How’s Gabriel by the way?”

Again, a person thinking logically would have ignored him and kept walking, but I wasn’t thinking logically. I was bleeding out and I was scared. So I reacted on impulse. I pointed the gun at him and pulled the trigger.

He disappeared right before my eyes with a laugh and the glass of the building shattered when the bullet hit. My mind screamed at me so I started running again, but no matter where I went, or how long I ran, Lucifer was always right there taunting me.

“Can’t run from me Sammy!”

My vision was blurring…

“You’re stuck with me forever, might as well accept it!”

I staggered but somehow managed to keep running…

“Watch out here comes the reality check!” was all the warning I got before an arm shot out and clotheslined me. I fell flat on my back, all of the air rushing out of me in one huge gasp. Lucifer was standing over me, a huge smile on his face as he put one foot on my chest, holding me down.

“Told you that you couldn’t run from me.” He paused. “Hey Sammy? I think you’re bleeding.”

He jammed a finger into one of the holes in my arm and I shouted, my back arching. When I dared open one eye, I watched in horror as he put his bloody finger in his mouth and hummed.

“At least you’re healthy.”

That frightening smile was back and I shivered, a hand going to cover my bleeding arm as best I could. The blood was hot and sticky as it seeped out from between my fingers. Lucifer’s foot left my chest and he stepped back, letting me sit up. We were alone in a park somewhere on the outside reaches of the city. It was quiet and no one was around, which was probably for the best.

With a good bit of difficulty, I got to my feet, heaving for breath and staring at this monster in front of me.

“Give it up, Sam.” He said, his voice smooth as silk. I shook my head, a horrified look on my face.

“No this isn’t happening. I don’t believe it. I won’t.”

He rolled his eyes, looking extremely amused.

“How hard is it to believe something that is so glaringly true? Oh, by the way, running from those hunters? Not the best idea you’ve had. They’ll catch you and you know it.”

I still couldn’t think straight.

“So? If they catch me, they catch you.”

I realized how stupid that sounded after he snorted.

“Yea true, but I don’t care. Because maybe then you’ll understand that we are in this together. I will bring us through this. As always, I will carry you kicking and screaming, and in the end you will thank me.”

Something very close to a sob left my mouth as I pressed a bloody hand to my forehead, since both of my hands were now covered.

“You’re a voice in my head. A fucking hallucination, why can’t I get rid of you?”

A rhetorical question of course but one that Lucifer answered anyway in the flattest tone he could manage.

“You need me.”

I looked at him again, seeing him standing in front of me with both hands in his pants pockets, bright blue eyes watching me. I was so tired…

“No I don’t, I really don’t. You’re not real.”

He was taking steps towards me again but I couldn’t have moved if I wanted to.

“I’m not?” He asked slowly. He punched me in the stomach, sending me down on one knee coughing. He packed a punch, there was no doubt about that. “How’s that for not real? Huh?” He knelt down in front of me.

“Do I feel real now, Sammy boy?” He sneered. I looked at him through the tears that were glazing my already-tired eyes.

“You’re… not real.” I gasped out. He leaned forward into my personal space. He smelled like the rose in his pocket, and that made me more nervous.

“I am real. This is very real. You just couldn’t cope after what happened to your brother Dean…”

My blood ran cold. I started shaking my head even as he kept talking.

“Shame really,” he sighed. “He should have seen that werewolf coming…”

“Shut up.” I said hoarsely. He ignored me.

“Too bad there isn’t a cure.”

“I said shut up!” I said louder. He smirked at me.

“Or what? You’re gonna make me? NO.” He snatched the gun from its place at my side and stood, twirling it around his finger. My breath was still coming in little heaves so I stayed crouched on the ground.

“Why are you doing this to me?” I asked softly, flinching back when he turned his sharp gaze on me and shouted, “Because you wanted this!”

He turned to face me fully.

“You created me, TAKE some responsibility.” He said, his voice still loud as he glared, holding the gun tightly. I somehow got to my feet again, swaying dangerously and fighting to stay conscious. I needed to get my arm patched up ASAP.

“I do, I take responsibility, for whatever is happening.” I said.

Lucifer snorted and looked at the gun, basically ignoring me.

“Does it matter what’s happening? It’s happening, and you can’t stop me.”

As I stared at him, a sudden moment of clarity made me realize something. If Lucifer was me, and I was Lucifer, then…

“That’s not right. The gun isn’t in your hand…” My eyes widened. “The gun is in my hand.”

Lucifer looked at my hand at the same time that I did, and we both saw that I was once again grasping the gun and he wasn’t. We looked at each other simultaneously, and I once again acted on my gut reaction; I put the gun to my temple, locking gazes with him. He looked more disbelieving than anything.

“Why would you put a gun to your head?” He asked, clearly not understanding.

“Not my head, Lucifer. Our head.” I said softly. His face lit up and that little quirk of his lips was back. He crossed his arms over his chest.

“Interesting…” He motioned vaguely at me. “And uhh where are you going with all of this?”

I swallowed hard and cocked the hammer. He looked extremely amused with me.

“You’re really considering this? Come on, Sam.” He chuckled. I took a deep relaxing breath, keeping the gun pressed tight against my head.

“Lucifer, I want you to really listen to me.”

“LUCIFER STOP!!” a voice screamed. I turned around so fast that I saw stars.

“Gabriel?” I said, not believing what I was seeing. I heard Lucifer chuckle again.

“Well this is interesting.”

I’ve never seen Gabriel look so angry. He stalked right up to me, his eyes like liquid fire.

“The fuck is going on?” He snarled. I was so busy just trying to process the fact that he was here that I couldn’t form a proper answer.

“I uh--”

He cut me off with a sharp motion of his hand, his nostrils flared.

“You put me on a fucking bus to God knows where with some cryptic-ass explanation, and when I come back you’re standing in the middle of the park with a fucking gun to your head. Jesus God would you-- GIVE ME THAT.”

He carefully pulled the gun from my grasp and put the safety on, shoving it into his bag and putting one hand on his hip and the other to his forehead.

“Look Lucifer. It was nasty for both of us, alright? I didn’t want to leave you and I know you didn’t want me to leave, but that is no reason to blow your head off. Jesus Christ, are you that fucked in the head?”

Lucifer and I have one more thing in common; we answer rhetorical questions.

“Actually yes. I am.”

I could almost see his train of thought just freeze as he looked at me. I took a big breath. Sparks were dancing in my vision and my arm was numb now. I was so dizzy.

“My name isn’t Lucifer, or Nick. My name is Sam. And I can admit that I have a problem.”

When Gabriel didn’t say anything, I continued despite the poisonous look that Lucifer was giving me over Gabriel’s shoulder.

“Lucifer is my other personality’s name. I didn’t know about him until recently, and that’s when I called you the other night. No, Gabriel I’m serious.” I pleaded when he started to give me that smile, that ‘oh my god you are batshit insane but you don’t need to know I’m thinking that’ smile.

“He’s the one who calls you and has you come over, he’s the one you’ve been having sex with, and he’s the one who leaves you alone the morning after. I’ve had no part in that.”

Lucifer snorted and I glared at him, attracting Gabriel’s attention to the space behind him.

“So, what, are you seeing him right now?” He asked, voice full of humor.

“Unfortunately yea.” I sighed, staggering back a step because suddenly the universe decided to have a meteor shower behind my eyelids. Gabriel looked at me, concern written on his face.

“Hey. Are you oka-- is that blood on your-- oh my god what happened to your arm?” His spoke rapid fire and I jumped when he tentatively touched my arm. He pulled his hand back when he found it was sticky with blood.

“God what have you been doing the past few hours?” All sense of irritation was gone as he looked at me, waiting for me to answer. I opened my mouth but before I could say anything, Lucifer piped up again.

“Aww that’s sweet. He cares about you now that you’ve been shot? Maybe you should do it more often.”

“Shut up.” I snapped without thinking. Gabriel reeled back as if I slapped him and I realized what I had done.

“NO God, no not you. Him. Lucifer. He’s mocking me.” I said, shutting my eyes when I realized how insane I sounded. Much to my surprise however, Gabriel touched my hand gently.

“I don’t give a shit what he’s doing, look at me.”

Slowly I opened my eyes and found nothing but wary concern in his gold eyes.

“Sam… I like that name better. I can call you Sammy now.” He said, smiling slightly. Lucifer gagged behind him and I glared. Gabriel noticed and grabbed my hand.

“Don’t pay attention to him. Pay attention to me because I have something to say to you.” He waited until I was looking at him again to speak and what he said was strangely comforting.

“If you ever scare me like this again, with the blood and shotgun wounds and guns to your head and psychotic other personalities, I will rip out your intestines and make you eat them, and then I’ll feed you your balls for dessert. Sound fair?” He smiled sweetly.

Lucifer snorted and rolled his eyes but I ignored him, instead smiling weakly and nodding.

“Sounds perfectly fair.” I wheezed.

Gabriel put his hands on my neck and when I glanced over his shoulder, Lucifer was not there. Gabriel cocked his head slightly.

“If I kiss you right now, who am I kissing? Sam or Lucifer?”

I was so tired and I was ready to collapse, but a kiss sounded amazing so I kept smiling, feeling myself going weak in the knees already. That was the blood loss talking I think.

“No Lucifer here. Just me, Sam.”

Gabriel chuckled.

“I think I can tell the difference now.”

The kiss he gave me was gentle and sweet, but I was thankful for that because as soon as he pulled away, I swayed dramatically and felt my eyes rolling back. Despite how short he was, Gabriel was surprisingly strong and managed to keep me on my feet.

Slowly, he helped me walk out of the park and he grabbed a cab, driving us to the hospital. The doctors say I was lucky. If I had waited even another half hour, I would have lost too much blood and my body would have gone into shock. Thank God for little miracles right?

Gabriel came back home with me the next day to the house on Paper Street. Lucifer was there but with some help from Gabriel, I got him to leave me alone. I rested almost the entire day with Gabriel lying beside me, keeping me calm whenever Lucifer woke me up or tried to keep me awake.

Two days later, I had learned how to banish Lucifer without so much as glance his way. All it took was some concentration.

A day after that, Gabriel and I made love for the first time as Gabriel and Sam, and not Gabriel and Lucifer.

It was nothing short of amazing. I felt kind of bad that it happened on my dusty mattress in my shithole of a house, but Gabriel didn’t mind. I don’t think he was coherent enough to even know where he was when I was done with him.

Will and his guys found me soon after but as it turns out, I let them do their tests on me and after Gabriel backed up my explanation, they let me go with no fuss at all.

Eventually, Lucifer only popped up every now and again and I found that I didn’t mind him that much. He didn’t try and hurt me anymore and really he only showed up when Gabriel wasn’t home, when I was alone, so I didn’t look weird if I chose to talk to him. I did choose to speak some days, but others I just made him leave me alone.

A month or so after all that happened, I agreed to go see Gabriel’s little brother, Castiel. Apparently he was a shrink of some kind. Castiel was quiet with tousled black hair and a pair of the bluest eyes I have ever seen, a little serious but he would have gotten along great with Dean, and I told him so. I don’t know why I was surprised when he said he had known Dean, and that they had been close friends. The sad look in his eyes told me all I needed to know about what Dean had really meant to him.

As I continued to see Castiel every week, Lucifer disappeared all together. Part of me was sad to see him go, but the part of me that was logical and liked to sleep and generally be sane said good riddance.

Every now and again, to this day, I’ll have a dream and Lucifer will be there, talking to me and telling me that he misses hanging out, misses ‘us’ is what he calls it, but I wake myself up, and when I fall back asleep with Gabriel curled against my side (in the new condo that we bought), he’s gone.

Nick 'Lucifer’ DuBois is gone, and only Sam Winchester remains.

And to think this all started with a demon and a flame thrower.

But I did say that my life hasn’t always been what you’d call ‘normal’.