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Chapter Text

“This week on Buzzfeed unsolved, we investigate the mysterious Egg Hill Church as part of our ongoing investigation into the question: Are ghosts real?”

Shane shook his head as always. Ryan went on with his explanation of the place, but since he was so excited before, he’d already told Shane basically everything about it, so the taller man wasn’t really paying attention now. He looked around at his surroundings a bit, and noticed a shadow leaving the room in a hurry. This caused him to raise an eyebrow, but thought nothing of it, as it was probably his mind adjusting to the dimly lit space. He shrugged, then turned his focus back to Ryan, who had already noticed his friend checking out the room. He stopped his description and asked:

“Did you see anything?”

“Yeah, I saw something spooky,” Shane made a scared face into his flashlight before laughing, “It was my shadow.”

“Oh you prick, don’t know why I was expecting you to be serious for once.”

“Whatever, let’s just go see the ‘ghosties’.”

While the duo walked through the halls, Ryan did a bit of exposition on the alleged horrors that make the place a tourist attraction. While there are no records, it is said that during the 1800s, a mad pastor murdered his congregation. While it is not a very active place, the architecture is quite nice, and for an old building, it still seethes with life and does not look terrifying. ‘Probably why Ryan wanted to visit it, as it wouldn’t frighten him as much, but there could be evidence of the supernatural to be discovered here’, Shane thought to himself. As far as investigating went, they didn’t find anything, apart from some wind noises and seemingly hearing footsteps. Time went on, Shane taunting the ghosts as usual, his friend freaking out every time the spirit box said anything resembling a word, the normal stuff. And as tradition goes, they had to end things off with solo tours of the Church. Unsurprisingly, the man that was 80% leg went first.

He adjusted his camera on his shirt, wished Ryan goodbye, making empty threats that he might return a changed man, all the good stuff, while Ryan just rolled his eyes and ushered him to go. The taller man laughed, then entered alone and closed the doors behind him. He turned on his flashlight, started pacing around the service area. He looked at the iconography on the walls, and for a second felt a migraine creeping up on him. He rubbed his hand on his forehead, and asked mockingly:

“Was that you, Mr. Pastor murderer? Oh boy, I sure am scared of you now that I know you can give small pains to humans! I better get out of your church or you’ll get angry right?”

He was met with silence. Of course, he chuckled to himself, ghosts aren’t real, and the supernatural is bullshit. He looked back at the cross on the wall, even though he isn’t religious, but he found it fascinating how people could be so invested in believing in this. Suddenly, he frowned. The cross was turning black by the second, almost as if it was being burned. There wasn’t any smoke though, and no source of fire. Shane backed away from the object, trying to figure out what was causing it to burn. He shined his light across the room, finding nothing out of the ordinary. He lit up the holy symbol again, which was still charred, now sizzling as well. A loud bang shook the church, which made Shane promptly turn around alarmed, thinking it might be an earthquake. In the middle of the vast room, a circle formed of seemingly light, that was in shades of purple and black that cast a faint glow. A figure of blackness emerged from the apparition. Shane instinctively took 2 steps backwards, but felt immediately compelled to to take 3 forward. As he did, the entity became more detailed, dropping its void-like disguise, revealing a tall, elegantly dressed man. His piercing glowing green eyes peered into Shane’s soul. His brown hair was perfectly combed, and his gaze seemed ancient, almost as if his own soul had seen centuries come and go in a blink of an eye. And yet he looked welcoming.

He looked around at his surroundings, and just then took notice of Shane standing in front of him. A light glimmered in his eyes, and he smiled. He opened his arms in a friendly manner, and spoke:

“Ah Stolas! What a wonderful surprise, I didn’t expect you of all people to be the one that I sensed! So, why are you here?”

Shane gulped, letting out the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding accidentally, while he was assaulted with ideas from his mind on what to do. This guy had just popped into existence from thin air, and talked to him, using a name not his own, and acting as if he was supposed to know this guy. The idea that this could be a setup for a prank that Ryan had created briefly came into his brain, but he dismissed it as quickly as he had thought of it. He knew his friend, he wouldn’t do something like that, and what he was seeing in front of him was no illusion. The man did not know how, but this demonstration went against everything he believed and took for truth in the world. As reckless as he thought this could be, he spoke to the apparition:

“Uh hey? I-I don’t know if I should know you, you seem like you know me, but I don’t recognize you. Can you explain to me why you called me that? Stolas or whatever?”

Of course, Shane knew what he was doing was extremely dumb, and could warrant him a ticket straight into death, or worse, heroin, but he wasn’t one to lie, and he was terrified. He didn’t know what else to do, this guy seemed nice enough, maybe he wouldn’t kill him immediately.

The man frowned, stopping in his tracks. He looked Shane up and down, and even raised his hand and pointed at him, in places in rapid succession such as his forehead, eyes, hair and neck. His eyes followed the movement his finger did, and he became increasingly confused. He rubbed his own chin, trying to piece together the problem. Shane saw this as his chance to run, to get out of there, to grab Ryan and go far, far away from this place. But his body wasn’t responding to his wants. It was frozen in place, not wanting to leave. The handsome boogy man (Shane decided to refer to him as that from now on) raised his eyebrows in an ‘aha’ motion. He took a couple steps in Shane’s direction, all the while the ghost hunter was trying furiously but failing to flee. Boogy man stopped, leaving only a few inches between the two, and said, with a sorrowful look on his face:

“Oh Stolas, I thought I was mistaken, but it is you! Oh, if I’d known your memories would be wiped clean, I wouldn’t have allowed it.”

Finally Shane snapped out of his trance, and managed to set a bit of distance between them. “Alright, cut it out, I don’t know you, I don’t know what you’re talking about, I don’t even know what you are for that matter, can you please explain all this before I run away?”

Handsome boogy man™ looked appalled, but still smiled sadly and explained. “Stolas, my name is Luci. This might be a lot to take in for you, but we’ve been friends for eons. We’re what mortals call ‘demons’. You asked me about 3 decades ago to craft a human vessel in order to infiltrate this world and live among them and learn more about their psychology. You should still have your powers, but I can see they’ve stayed dormant for the most part-”

“Now hold on,” Shane cuts in, not giving a shit about interrupting the lord of Hell. “So you’re saying I’m a demon, and I’m supposed to accept that, no questions asked? Hah, now I know this is definitely a prank or something. I just hope they didn’t give me drugs, because that’d be bad. So, do you have any evidence, Mr. Luci?”

Luci started laughing, which Shane thought was proof that this whole thing was bullshit, until he composed himself and put a hand on his shoulder, which sent a shockwave across his body. Shane yelped in surprise, backing off so he doesn’t get touched again. “Hey, what was that for??” He yelled. Luci just smiled, and said:

“Well, I thought that maybe you would have changed, but it seems I was mistaken. You’re the exact same insufferable asshole that I’ve been around my whole life. Just thought I should stop making fun of you and show you the truth before you scare the humans.”

“What? How could I scare them? The only things I scare are the ‘ghosts’ and ‘demons’ Ryan and I find on our investigations,” he retorted with air quotations.

“Yeah about that, it makes so much more sense why so many of them had to take therapy in so little time. Now where is that mirror,” the other man muttered while patting his pockets.

“I have my phone with me if you’re looking for a reflective surface,” Shane stated stupidly while holding it up.

“Oh, I don’t need it. It’s for you to look at yourself.”

Shane found that extremely weird, but thought it best to just do as this guy says while he thinks of how to get out of this situation. He brought up his camera app, pressed on the selfie icon, and nearly dropped his phone, jumping about 4 feet into the air. “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO ME?”

“The devil has only showed your true nature,” ‘the devil’ grinned.

Shane’s hands were shaking. On his screen was reflected a monstrous image. His eyes were red, fangs sprouted from his mouth, and two circular horns ornated his head. He also felt a pressure on his back, and turned around to find a pair of delicate black wings. Images swirled into his mind, of a life he’d forgotten long about. A small office filled to the brim with books on plants and herbs. Nearly thirty legions of demons all standing still in a plain, awaiting orders under a crimson sky with stars much smaller than Shane remembered. An owl passed above the visions, and more started pouring in. In a lot of them, Luci was present, and while his appearance differed, his glowing green eyes betrayed who he was. Shane clutched his head firmly between his fingers as the images wouldn’t stop, and only grew in intensity and amount. Half weren’t even registered as he had to blink.

Finally, they stopped. Shane opened his eyes slowly, finding the devil still standing in the same spot, looking mildly impatient, yet compassionate. A smile played on his lips. “So, do you believe me now, Stolas? Actually, since this is fairly overwhelming for you, do you want me to call you by your mortal name or your older one?”

“Uh, both are fine,” the now-realized demon said weakly, now understanding just how much he was wrong about everything. As he tried to recollect his thoughts, a bang loudly shook the door.

“SHANE YOU'VE BEEN IN THERE FOR WAAY LONGER THAN SEVEN MINUTES, IF YOU DON'T OPEN THE DOOR I'LL DO IT MYSELF!”

Shit. Ryan was back there, and if he entered right now, he might just have a sheer heart attack. Oh god, this is the worst scenario that could have happened. As the banging only grew in intensity, Shane looked back at Luci for guidance, who then nodded, crossed his arms and whispered an incantation.

The door gave way as Ryan burst into the room. There was no sign of break-ins, nor of Shane. He shined his flashlight around, and caught sight of the smouldering cross. His heart crawled into his throat, but he steeled himself. He had to find his friend. He walked up the stairs to the altar, thinking that may be the only spot that could work as a makeshift hiding place. Almost to give him rightness, a low hiss came from there, stopping the man in his tracks. And yet, he pressed on past his fear, while mumbling some sort of prayer. He went around the rectangular protrusion, lighting it up, but there was nothing there. He let out a sigh of relief, and moved his light upwards on the other side, where he was met with two glowing red circles. Ryan screamed, dropping his torch on the floor, as the mass flew up on the ceiling and sat on one of the arches.

Ryan, help me.

A sharp screech echoed through Ryan’s mind, which made him clutch his ears. He looked up at the creature in bewilderment. It spoke to him. And it actually seemed threatened by him, and didn’t even threaten to take his soul. The man became more confused by the second. But he managed to snap out of his trance, taking the opportunity to fumble with his camera and adjust it to get his evidence. He looked to his right, where Shane should have been, but found no one. His face fell as he realized that the only time he gets irrefutable proof, his sarcastic friend isn’t even there.

A terrible thought crossed his mind, that of thinking maybe the holy shit it’s demon™ (hastily named by the scared human) had gotten to him first, essentially destroying his existence. Almost as if it heard him, the figure lunged at Ryan, who held up his arms to protect himself. Instead, the apparition simply snatched the recording device off of his shirt, dropping it to the ground, where it shattered to pieces. Holy shit it’s demon™ then flew back to its perch, looking down at the human. It spoke again, in that same whisper, as if it was self-conscious:

“Ryan, I don’t know what happened, I can explain a bit, but you need to trust me, I didn’t know about any of this.”

Even though he was scared shitless, Ryan gulped, and managed to articulate a half-comprehensible response, considering he didn’t want to anger this thing. “Y-yeah, sure, uh just come down here, s-so we can talk about all this in detail, and then after maybe you can help me find my tall companion? He was here a mo-moment ago, probably you’ve seen him?”

Yes, Ryan realizes he could have been more respectful and less blunt, but he was terrorized out of his mind, and it took all of his willpower to form those two sentences.

For a second, he swears that he saw the creature’s eyes shrink a bit after he spoke, as if it were smiling, but it only lasted for a second. It then flew down with lightning fast speed, settling on the ground lifting a small cloud of dust in the air. Ryan’s eyes, now more adjusted to the lack of lighting, could see the demon’s physique much more clearly. It’s wings wrapped around its body, leaving only its red eyes visible through the gaps. At least, the man assumed those were eyes. Slowly, the supernatural creature moved closer to Ryan, all while maintaining eye contact. As it came closer, the human wondered if he was doing the right thing. Every bone in his body was screaming at him to leave, to find Shane and get far, far away from this thing. But he stayed there, half because of his curiosity, half because he was stuck and his feet felt like lead. Just as the demon’s faint shadow touched the ghost hunter, its owner stopped. Ever so gently, the wings opened. Apprehension turned to horror as Ryan recognized his tall co-hunter.

A short silence followed, both parties unsure how to dissect this predicament. Ryan overcame his fright, and asked, while walking towards his friend:

“How-what? Shane, what the hell?”

“Hey look, I didn’t know either, can we please just sit down so I can try to explain?”

Ryan nodded, and they both sat on one of the benches, five feet apart since Shane’s massive wings took up the remaining space. He was looking dead ahead, playing with his hands. “I was just in here taunting the ghosts, and then this portal appeared, and this guy, I’m pretty sure he was the devil, he-uh, informed me that I used to be his friend, a demon, and that about thirty years ago, I decided to have a human life to understand you guys more, but apparently we both didn’t know my memories would fade and that I’d have no recollection of them. Some of them are starting to come back, it’s kind of overwhelming almost. I know you’re scared and all, and I understand if you don’t want me to be around you anymore I’ll-”

“What’s your real name?” Ryan cut him off.

“I-what? You do realize I’m a demon, something you hate, and you’ve always hated, that you’re so afraid of you needed me to scare them, and you’re asking about my name??”

“You may be a demon, but you’re still my friend. I know this is a lot for you to take in too, considering you thought they weren’t real, so that’s 1 point for the boogaras,” he scooted away to avoid being slapped by Shane’s left wing, “But I’m not going to cut you out of my life just because of this. We can figure out a way to make this work, but only if we search for it together.”

The demon’s eyes lit up, not expecting this outcome. He cleared his throat. “My name is Stolas.”

Ryan snickered. “Hey, at least they start with the same letter. So, what else? Do you have powers or anything?”

Shane flexed his finger. “I think so, I do feel more knowledgeable about astronomy as well, and plants.”

Ryan reached for his head and slapped him softly, laughing mockingly. “Oh come, I know you want to seem smart, but I know you’re lying right now, you’re just trying to see how far I’ll believe you.”

“But I’m not lying. I know, I lie about a lot of things sometimes,” Ryan arched his eyebrow but said nothing, “but right now, I’m serious. Why would herbal knowledge be a flex for me?”

The shorter man tapped his chin. “Fair enough, your reality has been completely shattered, you wouldn’t be joking at this time. So Mr. Flower expert, how do you think we’ll get out of here without having to explain anything to the crew?”

A sharp buzz interrupted Shane’s train of thought, making him let out a small growl. Luci’s voice rang in his ears. ‘I’ll call you later, this’ll have to do for now.’

Ryan gasped, which caused Shane to jerk back, startled, and saw as his wings and talons shrank before his eyes, dissolving into nothingness. The demon patted his back, trying to find any sign of the extra appendages, but found none. All traces of him being anything more than human were gone. And yet, he could feel something deep in his soul, that he’d never had before, ancient urges and feelings no mere mortal could even begin to comprehend. He understood quite quickly what this meant, and made part of this discovery to his friend. “Luci says hi, we shouldn’t linger around too much, this spell won’t last long with him not around me. Shouldn’t take too much time for me to find something to make this more permanent, but until then, we need to skedaddle before I get stuck in a laboratory. Or worse, Father Thomas’ church.” He shuddered at the thought of that place, which made him feel unwelcome and afraid. In hindsight, it makes sense now, considering the situation.

They both got up from their seats, and nearly ran for the door. Ryan stayed back for a bit, picking up the broken camera and the flashlight. Shane, watching this display, decided to walk slower, to not attract suspicion to his haste. A few minutes later, they were both making their way out the front door, surprising the crew, who had thought it was safe to assume the ghosts got their revenge. All of the equipment was packed up, and they got to their hotel safely, with no one assuming Shane was a supernatural creature that could easily delete anyone from existence.

Ryan dropped on the bed while his tall friend closed the door. Just then, as he started to relax a little, his demon characteristics manifested back into reality. A distant ‘Jesus, Christ’ could be heard from the insomniac laying on the mattress. Shane suppressed a scream and went into the bathroom to clear his mind with a cold, frigid shower. After getting out, he stared at his reflection in the mirror. It looked like himself, yet didn’t. He had tried to keep his fear down while talking with Ryan, to make him feel more safe, but now, he couldn’t keep lying to himself. He was scared shitless, he didn’t know anything about this supernatural stuff, his friend was the expert, he just mostly brought commentary and helped with the shorter man’s nerves when he got anxious. And now, he was probably due to go ‘downstairs’ as well, and he was not looking forward to it. Sure, he had no problem taunting these creatures before, but he thought he was talking to wind and dust and maybe-cultists. To know all these things were real, and that he’d have to face them, it truly sent a shiver down his spine. He rested his head on the wall, going through his newly acquired memories, trying to find a spell to hide his demon-ness. He pushed back from the drywall a couple minutes later. He’d found the solution, but that wasn’t his main concern right then. He pressed his chest with his arm, listening intently.

Nothing. No sound at all. His heart had stopped beating, his lungs didn’t need air anymore. And yet, he was alive. Hearing no sound of the vital functions he’d gotten accustomed to, he felt light-headed. Since demons were created from chaos and lived forever, they didn’t need to breathe nor eat. They could, but not as easily as mortals’ own bodies. The silence was deafening, but Shane managed to croak out a sentence in an eldritch language, long forgotten by humans. Just as quickly, everything inhuman about him vanished once more, leaving him feeling even more hollow than the first time. He sighed, putting on his spare clothes, and opened the door, and then promptly walked over to the bed and fell face first into the fabric. Ryan was already tucked in, almost asleep, but cracked an eye open to survey his friend. “Aren’t you going to sleep under the blanket? It’s much more comfortable than whatever the hell you’re doing right now,” he offered.

“Mhm. Too tired. Good night Ry, I’m gonna sleep,” Shane mumbled so softly Ryan had to guess half of the words. He shrugged, but still got up to help him get more than only half of his body on the bed. A gruelling task, considering that his friend is probably a direct descendant of a long generation of Bigfoots. In the end, both got about a couple hours of sleep. Shane told Ryan about the spell he used to hide his glamour, which had Ryan all giddy, since he was learning more about demons, causing Shane to roll his eyes. Once he heard about the organ problem, his happiness dissipated. The taller man found it endearing how his short friend was concerned about his health.

They decided that Shane would spend the night later with Ryan, to avoid scaring Sara, and to try to contact Luci for some more advice, and all around just mess around with his new found powers. Normal, serious behaviour, not childish in the slightest. The plane ride was very movemented, Shane having so many new feelings about it, such as longing and oppression. Other than that, no one else seemed to notice his distress too much, and there was no news of a real life demon caught on film, so the ghoul boys counted that as a win.

Ryan fiddled with his keys in front of his apartment. Shane stood behind him, impatiently tapping his foot. After the wretched car ride in the uber, where he had to keep his legs folded in the most uncomfortable position known to man, he still had to wait to be able to finally stretch everything back into place. He exhaled hard, and came up to his friend and took his keys away. “Hey, what was that for?” the shorter man yelled, mildly annoyed at the gesture. “Do you do this every single time you get home? Move, it’ll be faster if I do it,” the demon snapped.

“You don’t even know which is the right key, I don’t think this is gonna work.”

“Oh trust me Ryan, I’ll manage. There’s a lot you don’t know about me yet.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about yourself yet.”

Shane chuckled, and inserted a golden key into the keyhole. Miraculously, the door opened. He entered the house, pleased with himself, leaving his friend, mouth open, at the entrance. He blinked, jerked his head in shock, but followed suit. He found the demon sitting on the couch, twirling the keys. Ryan took them back quickly and put them on the stand. He then went to wash his hands, shooting Shane a murderous look. It didn’t take more than 2 minutes before he heard screaming coming from the living room. The man’s left eye twitched. ‘I can’t leave him alone without him destroying the fabric of reality for less than five minutes now can I?’ He thought to himself. This seemed like a good time to let his arrogant and aggressive alter ego Ricky Goldsworth come into play, but he decided against it. He stormed back into the room, ready to tear Shane a new one for scaring him, but stopped short.

The floor had a GIANT pentagram engraved on it, that Ryan might never manage to remove. In the center was a tall man standing calmly, inspecting his black fingernails. He lifted his gaze, and saw the human, apparently not expecting it, and took a step back. He looked at his own kind, arching an eyebrow, but not in an angry manner, more of an intrigued one. “I thought you wouldn’t tell mortals about this,” he said.

“Well shit happens, and Ryan is my best friend, he would have noticed if something was off,” Shane sighed, putting his arms behind his head, crossing his legs and getting comfortable on the couch.

The devil facepalmed lightly, then sighed. “Alright, this makes more work for me, but I’ll allow it. Come, both of you, hold my hand. We have a lot to go over.”

Chapter Text

The pair both took one of Luci’s hands, a bit afraid, but interested. Ryan nearly dropped it when another set of arms appeared out of the lord of the underworld’s back, making complex and rapid movements. There wasn’t enough time for the boys to register what was going on, before the fabric of reality folded inwards and they disappeared.

The trio appeared in what seemed like a hallway. Pale beige walls surrounded them, the floor covered in red carpet. The Devil let go of their hands, and made a motion for them to follow him. He quickly turned around and began walking down the hall. The ghoul boys glanced at each other, the demon shrugged, and they went along. Doors, each a different color and shape, stood on both sides which kept the place from seeming monotone. They passed about 100 of them once Luci stopped. Infront of him stood a delicately ornate one, fit for a very tall creature, within reasonable limit. Its doorknob was gold, and so shiny you could see your own reflection. He turned it, and opened the door.

An office, quite similar to the one Shane had in the human world, but the furniture was unlike any he’d seen back there. Very elegant, but not devoid of comfort. A fireplace burned intense green flames behind the desk, where every pencil had a sheen of gold coating. Shelves on either side of the room were filled to the brim with books, scrolls and vials. An owl stood on a perch next to the desk, eyeing Shane carefully. It let out a low coo, and left its place quickly to sit on the demon’s shoulder. Ryan yelped, and the devil let out a laugh. He entered the room, hands behind his back as he waited for his guests to get comfortable inside. The human stood awkwardly near a shelf, and Shane sat down slowly at his own desk.

Lucifer cleared his throat. “So, as you might have realized, this is your place of work,” He said, pointing at his subordinate, “Now, to break your stereotyping of our kind, we don’t go around dragging souls here to torture them for eternity. We tried that a couple thousand years ago, a lot didn’t like the practice, so we stopped. Now, what we do is guide these souls to forgiveness, to repent their sins, to find peace and then either choose to dissolve or to be reborn. Some of the spirits, however, the worse ones, they sometimes have such malice, they turn into daïmons, creatures that resemble us, but need to feed on negative human emotions to survive. They usually stay in the human world, and are the reason demons get a bad rep. Haunted houses, possession and worst of all,” he gasped, looking mildly offended. “identity theft.”

“Whoa whoa whoa,” Shane interrupted, stretching out his hand in a stop everything motion. “You’re telling me our old pal Sallie isn’t even like us? Damn, I looked forward to talking to her one on one.”

Even though he, the king of the underworld, had been rudely stopped in the middle of his explanation, he smiled. This was going exactly where he wanted it to go. He crossed his arms, leaning against an antique lamp dispensing a pastel red light. “Funny you mention it, that’s exactly why I brought you here. You see, you went off into the human world to study humans, yes, but also to find these rogue spirits that haunt the mortal plain, and bring them back to me. That includes ghosts and daïmons. You did such a splendid job up until last week, when you decided to wander into my summoning grounds, I thought there wasn’t any problem.”

“So you’re telling me that I just need to do what I was doing before?” Shane asked, twirling a pen incredulously.

“Yes, but I also need you to fill out a bit of paperwork on the nature of humans. You’ve been living among them for decades, you’re sure to complete the, quite frankly, limited knowledge we have here. If there’s anything that I need your help for, need not to worry, I’ll send you a ‘discrete’ message,” he said, with air quotes.

“So, if I’m understanding this correctly, we get to do exactly what we’ve been doing before, but Shane has to pop in over here to catalog his interactions?” Ryan asked, a bit suspicious.

“Yes, that would be a good recapitulation.”

“Now, I get that this doesn’t change anything, but can we please address the owl on my shoulder? Do I bring it back home or does it stay here? What am I supposed to feed it?” Shane asked, starting to ramble a bit. The last time he had a pet bird, it died after a couple years and his family kept it in the freezer since the ground wouldn’t thaw. Suffice to say, he definitely did not want his new friend going through that too.

Luci smirked, finding his old companion’s naivety endearing. “The animal is magic, it can disappear at will and self-sustaining. It’s able to travel freely from one world to the other, responding to your commands. It has waited a long time for your return, I don’t think I’ve ever seen such an attached familiar.”

The bird emitted a chirp, and nuzzled its owner’s face. Ryan came forward to touch it, and the creature, much more friendly than expected, let him pet it. The devil cleared his throat, regaining back their attention. “Why, this has been fun, but I can see you both have other matters at hand, as do I, so I think it’s much better if I send you both back home to organize your plans. Unless you have truly pressing questions, of course.”

“Actually, Luci,” Shane began, rising to full height, which he realized, stumbling a bit, was now taller than usual, “I thought that maybe I could try making the portal? Not that I don’t trust you with them, but it looks really cool.”

“Be my guest. But if you find yourself in the Himalayas, don’t blame me.”

He erupted into flames, disappearing to who knows where to attend to his work. Shane turned to the human gingerly, smiling awkwardly. Ryan raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms. “What, it’s not the strangest thing I’ve seen.”

The demon chuckled, and held out his hand. “Well, shall we?”

“I swear if you bring us to a known demon sighting to frighten some people,” Ryan muttered under his breath.

“Wasn’t planning on it, but you’ve given me an idea,” Shane replied, winking.

The shorter man groaned, knowing that the day was definitely not going to end without yet another nerve racking incident. Still, he took the outstretched arm, and braced himself as green flickers enveloped them, thus transporting them on the mortal coil.

Chapter Text

It was even worse than Ryan had thought. Once the ordeal was over, he’d shouted “Shane you fucking asshole! I’m never travelling with you again!”

He had tried to sound menacing, but it failed, as he knew he loved going places with the big goof, and the stunt was harmless, non life threatening, and kinda funny.

***
Both men had materialized in a scarcely decorated room. It was plunged in darkness, the only faint light source was a flimsy flashlight aimed directly at Ryan’s face. Shane had no problem with this absence of light, seeing the place as if it were daylight. Before them, five people stood, dumbfounded. They looked to be in their early twenties. Flashlight man™, a dark-skinned short guy, asked, confused. “Uh, where the hell did you guys come from?”

Right at that moment, Shane’s immortal brain pieced the last details of his diabolical plan together. His smile widened as he relished what was about to happen. He opened his arms dramatically, almost hitting Ryan in the head, and asked, “Whomst hath summoned me back to the mortal plain?”

The group of humans didn’t move, and shot each other concerned glances, unsure wht the fuck this crazy guy was on about. A tall brown-haired girl whispered in Flashlight man™’s ear, which caused him to clear his throat. He started speaking again, but was rudely cut off by another man with a raspy voice. “Dude, these people are insane, they’re probably just potheads that decided to squat here. Eric, there’s no way the ritual actually worked, it was a fucking wikihow article! Let’s get out of here before the fumes kick in even more and they try to kill us.”

A brief assent passed over the young friends, before Shane took an eager step forward. “Ah, so thee admits to haveth called me,” he said, struggling to not laugh under the exaggerated old English he was spitting out, and turned to face Ryan, as if noticing him for the first time, with an approving look, “And thee even brought me a sacrifice! Sucheth manners!”

Eric gulped, and turned to run for the door, which promptly shut itself in front of him. Ryan facepalmed, knowing he’d never hear the end of this feat. Shane shed his human disguise he’d hastily put on as they had left, revealing his true form. The young adults screamed, some scrambling to jump out the open window, which was thankfully close to the ground. The two remaining unsuspecting humans froze, shrieking in terror. The demon’s eyes glowed faintly, and no more sound exited their mouths. He snickered, putting his arms around a very disappointed Ryan, as if he were a prize. “I’ll thank thee for this gift when the time is right. But be careful, next time you mock me, I won’t be so forgiving.”

Bright flames then enveloped them, not producing any heat, and once they dissipated, the men found themselves back in Ryan’s living room. The human had hurled insult after insult at his friend, but mostly in good fun. He was more concerned about the possibility that he would reveal himself to the world by being caught on tape. They ultimately agreed to never do that again. However, both knew it wasn’t the end of supernatural pranks now that they had all this magic at their fingertips.

Chapter Text

“Soooo, what do you think about the new location?” Ryan asked as he entered the office, setting down two cups of coffee on the table.

“I say it’s bullshit,” Shane rolled his eyes as he brought the drink to his lips, “I don’t think any demon is going near that house.”

“Your shaney senses aren’t tingling? That’s why you’re so sure?” Ryan snickered.

“Shut up.”

A few hours later, infront of the week’s doomsday home, Shane realized he was very much mistaken. The building was infested with demons, and they seemed to be having a blast. ‘Oh, Ryan is so going to freak,’ he thought to himself. He might regret it later, but there was no way he’d confess just how much activity he was seeing right now. He didn’t want his friend to be in danger, and much less have a heart attack. The demon swallowed hard, and kept his expression as neutral as he could. He helped his friend with the recording equipment as he tried to find a plan to scare all of these things off without them ganging up on him. 

He sneezed as he crossed the threshold. 

“You okay big guy?” Ryan asked, turning around.

“Yeah, this place is just so dusty. It probably wouldn’t sell for a buck on Craigslist,” he joked, looking to his left, directly at a shadowy figure. It flinched, and dissolved into dust. Shane’s eyes widened. 

Huh, is it really that easy? 

“If the murders didn’t happen, the feng shui alone would’ve ended up killing them.”

Ryan chuckled. He hated to poke fun at dead people’s decor, but Shane was right, no one in their right mind would be caught dead with curtains like that .

Unfortunately for the demon, more spirits littered the house, and while it wasn’t too hard for him to send them back to the other dimension, it became frustrating trying to convince Ryan that he was simply admiring, or rather, scrutinizing the home and nothing more. The human wasn’t entirely fooled, and as the night progressed, the more he thought he saw his friend doing weird shit. Confirming his suspicions, once they exited a doorway, Shane had growled at the air.  

“You channeling your inner Wolfman in there, Shane?” he asked. 

“No,” the taller man snapped, then softened his tone, “I am channeling my inner Stolas .”

Ryan bgan snickering, and so did Shane. The viewers would find it a bit bizarre to laugh this much at such a stupid joke, but some things just can’t be given the needed context. 

And Shane was trying, so desperately hard not to blow his cover on what he was seeing. So, he was covering it up with humor. It seemed to be working, until about half an hour later, when he started picking up whispers that only he could hear during the flashlight segment. It was mostly gibberish, but the sounds were so persistent and nonstop, it actually angered him. He snarled quietly to make them go away, and it worked, for a few minutes.

This time, they were voices. Distinct, human voices. ‘You will never find me’, followed by cocky laughter. ‘I could punch you in the nose and you wouldn’t know who it was.’ 

He resisted the urge to shout, but the noises were growing in intensity and getting harder to ignore. Shane couldn’t focus on Ryan’s voice anymore, but pretended to, going by lip reading and intuition. They wound up going to the basement, the cries in his head getting drowning out the hard creak of the steps, giving him a gnarly headache. 

But the straw that broke the demon’s back was what he heard on the last step. ‘I’m going to break your little human bit by bit and you’re gonna watch.’

A violent head jerk and an animalistic howl. “You wouldn’t DARE-”

“Shane? You okay big guy?” Ryan asked from the ground floor. 

The tall man whipped around and jumped over the last stair as he put his arms over Ryan’s shoulders, a scared look in his eyes. “No, okay, I’m sorry I lied, there are demons here, or, well, one demon, but that’s beside the point, they threatened to torture you!”

“Wait, slow down a bit!” Ryan put his hand up defensively, Shane was practically shaking him at this point. “Can’t you like kill the fucker or something? They can’t be that powerful right?”

“Thing is, I kinda forgot to ask Luci how the whole ‘banishing demons’ business works, so I have no idea how to deal with this!”

Right after he said that, his eyes snapped up to a point behind his fellow ghosthunter. A bright blue light tinted his eyes that same colour, causing Ryan to turn to look  too. 

A swirling vortex that was getting darker by the second lay before them, objects that hadn’t been cleared out getting sucked in. A feral-looking shape hovered over the mass. Its eyes glowed a blinding white. It had the body of a centaur, and its hiss rang deep into the foundation of the house. 

Ryan swallowed sharply. “Run?”

“Run.”

Booking it up the stairs didn’t pose any threat with the adrenaline, but getting out of the house was a whole other issue. The walls seemed to elongate beyond reality, and the demon was gaining on them, perks of having four legs instead of two and all that. 

Ryan, being only human, was starting to fall behind. Shane noticed, turned around, and seeing his best friend so very close to the homicidal creature, he made a split-second decision to drop his glamour. 

He jumped to grab his friend and flew out of range of the hellish nightmare’s ridiculously large jaw, the fear he was experiencing making him fly faster than the walls could grow, and finally, he saw a bright light up ahead-

Misjudging the length of the open front door, Shane’s wings caught on the doorframe, the momentum sending them sprawling into the yard. 

The centaur shrieked from inside the house, brown fists banging on an invisible barrier. It huffed angrily, muttering something before giving up and disappearing back into the basement. 

Ryan and Shane both looked at each other, the shorter man out of breath. Fumbling to get up, the night sky making his vision unreliable, Shane took out his flashlight and shined it at his pal. 

Ryan squinted at the building while slowly rising to his feet. Seeing no more threats, he relaxed. He then glanced at his hand, a loopy grin forming on his face. “The camera’s still working!” He managed to get out between wheezes, holding the object high in the air. 

Shane grimaced as he looked over his shoulder between his wings. “That was my favourite shirt.”

“We literally survived an encounter with a murderous space-distortion demon, the camera’s not broken and I didn’t drop ut, and you’re concerned about your shirt gaving holes in it? Unbelievable. Come on man, we’ll buy you another one. In the meantime, I have some footage to review.”

“You’re not posting that.” Shane warned. 

“Of course I’m not, ” the human scoffed, offended he’d even suggest such a thing. “I just want to see how it looks like on tape.”

“Surely not heroic, I can guarantee that.”

————————————

A week later…

Shane walked into the office, coffee mug in hand. “So, how’re those dailies looking?”

Ryan rolled his chair in a 180. “Well, apart from us screaming our heads off and that demon sounding like a corrupt audio file, there is a frame where we can see both your horns and the centaur.”

“Oh, by the way, that’s Deimos, they say hi,” the taller man said as he hung his coat. 

Ryan blinked multiple times, baffled. “They have a name? And the Greek myths got something right apparently?”

“Yeah, I asked Luci about it,  apparently that demon just loves scaring people. Turns out they were just playing a prank on us, but Luci let it slide, since we sent quite a load of spirits back to hell. I really hope I don’t have to put that in my resumé.”

Ryan laughed, closing the tabs on his computer. “Well, that was embarrassing. Just goes to show, there’s no such thing as a perfect being.”

“You can say that again. I just hope I won’t screw up this badly again.” Shane looked at his watch. “Come on, it’s nearly 2:30, I didn’t reservate that voice over booth for hours!”

“Yeah sure, I’m just waiting for the computer to turn off.” The human looked back at his screen, and finding it black, closed the lid of the MacBook and grabbed it. 

The two men made their way out of the room, bantering and laughing as they left. However, neither of them noticed the usb key they left behind on the table…