Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Nines adjusted the notes on his wall again, the foggy plastic now covered with a faded blue paper taped on. He felt it kept things private between him and Detective Reed, just the way the man liked it.

Nines was wondering if it would look better with a new colour, though, neon yellow post-it notes organized in neat lines. Many had lost their ability to stick, a decorated white and black tape used to stick them onto his blue paper.

Most were from Reed, but he doubted the Detective ever checked. 

He gently brushed his fingers across his throat, then pressed his hand against his upper chest. His voice module had gotten worse recently, and he’d been too embarrassed to speak in front of the mean Detective. The only problem being he ignored any other means of communication, email especially.

These replicated emotions got more complicated the longer he was awake. 

He looked back over the crumpled notes, some coordinates and comments on their past cases held up like trophies. They were trophies to him, in a way. Remnants of times they worked together, snarky banter in the form of notes to be hidden from Fowler, all placed beside his desk. Reed, despite his temper and impossible behavioural issues, was a good Detective. He was also good at stirring up emotions in an android that should have nothing to do with such things.

He’d been released missionless, a code without an object or a point. He felt like some thing just floating around in a self-made ether. But… Nines didn’t make this ether on his own, did he? It was carefully crafted by everyone around him.

It was made by Connor, who expected him to join the P.D.

It was enriched by Markus and North, who expected him to take part in the androids’ political waves and crises.

It was bubbled by Tina, who expected him to know what she spoke and get what she meant.

More than anything, his little ether was expanded into an endless expanse that he had nothing to do with when he met Gavin Reed. The man was… not so unique in his nature. Loud, rash, prejudiced, persistent and prideful, he made the hallmarks of the common career-oriented man with personal issues.

Those personal issues opened up Nines’ world in a way he was still learning to appreciate, and two days after joining the DPD, Nines stopped speaking entirely.

“Nines, what the fuck is this supposed to mean?!” The android’s head snapped up to see the angry man before him, holding out a paper with cyberlife sans font written across it. Nines recognized it instantly, head tilting and brows furrowing as he tried to contemplate a response. Gavin, in all his stagnant glory, snapped.

“Don’t tilt your head at me like you don’t understand!”

He wasn’t. That was why RK800 tilted his head, and their behaviours were indeed different. He wished he could tell Gavin that. Maybe, eventually, the human would bother to care enough that he'd actually learn such things himself.

“You prick- I don’t answer your emails on purpose.” The Detective scoffed.

Finally, Nines responded, giving the man a shrug as if to say, “So?”

“Oh my- fuckin’ tin cans.” He shook his head with a frown. “Why do I even try?”

You don’t.

Nines shook his head as well, and Gavin didn’t much seem to get the idea.

“What are you frowning at me for?!” The Detective raised his voice again, as if somehow that might greatly scare the android. It didn’t.

He took the Detective’s hands, relishing in the way his eyes bugged out and face flushed, and then traced letters onto the man’s palm. The first time Nines had tried this, Reed had panicked and slapped his hand away, before screaming profanities.

Now, he just accepted it. 

Nines spelled out three words, which was usually the most Gavin ever bothered to try and figure out. The android was surprised Reed could even get that far.

“You…” Gavin said each word aloud, slow and stupid and endearing in manner. “Don’t… care?” His voice peaked up at the end of reading the words, insinuating a question, though it was meant to be a statement. Gavin was likely confused then. 

“What- what the hell is that supposed to mean, you plastic fuck? Are you saying I don’t care about my job?”

Nines shook his head, taking Gavin’s hand and placing it over his own chest. Me.

“...Oh. Yeah, not really.” He admitted with a shrug, the bite in his voice just as quickly as gone as it was built. Nines couldn’t tell if it was honesty or not, but the Detective had no reason to lie. How bitter. The man quickly wrenched his hand away from Nines’ chest, practically growling. He was a ‘gremlin,’ Connor once said, and with the face he made at Nines, the android could not help but agree.

It was endearing, nonetheless, this gremlin being the only consistent human interaction Nines had. He went back to typing on his laptop, when he heard Gavin’s voice again.

“I don’t get it, though.”

He furrowed his brow, head tilting yet again, this time far more pronounced as the Detective ran a hand over his stubble. Get what? Nines’ processors were running faster than usual. Coming up with ridiculous ideas of what the Detective could possibly mean, when the human spoke up.

“Why don’t you speak? Do you not know how or something? I heard Hank’s plastic boy toy said you could, but…” He trailed off for a moment, voice getting quieter. “I’ve never heard you speak, and..”

And what? Only Connor had, as well as Cyberlife technicians. To Nines, it didn’t matter much either way, but perhaps Gavin had a problem with that.

“I don’t know, nevermind.”

Nines frowned, but didn’t bother to continue the conversation any further. He wasn’t ready to speak, wasn’t comfortable, felt like it all came out wrong. Being able to stop, write it down… it calmed him. He knew people valued speech, and he knew that people expected so much of him in that way, but… even if it would make his life exponentially harder in the end, Nines was too scared. The android was used to letting fear control him. 

But did that mean he shouldn’t communicate at all? He’d always been selectively mute, but that was because constructing verbal sentences was hard for him. His voice module was incomplete, and words came out… wrong. Slow, broken, and as if a human’s throat had been stuck on something while speaking. It was… not a fixable issue, he’d been told, and would only improve with practice, and if he let Cyberlife rip him apart for a bit.

The second was not an option he could ever take.

Nines stood, making his way over to Gavin’s desk and leaned against it, as the man himself often did. Taking Gavin’s hand, he began to write out the letters to a sentence on them. Gavin stared, furrowed his brows, and pulled his hand away. “Just write it on a piece of paper like a normal person. That’s way too fucking long.” 

Nines let out an audible, scratchy sigh, taking Gavin by surprise. The android Detective did not make many sounds, the rare ones he did not in the company of others.

“O-oh.” Detective Reed stammered, and Nines reached over to his own desk to grab his notebook and pencil. Underneath his daily checklist- he enjoyed writing it, despite making his list of objectives every morning in his software- he wrote out what he’d been trying to say.

‘ Sorry.’ It read, ‘But, I spoke to you. Once.’ While writing, Nines paused, tapping the pen against his lips as he tilted his head. It was hard to think of the right wording.

‘You don’t believe I can speak well, at all.’ He finally decided, passing over the journal and trying to make sense of Gavin’s expressions.

The first one was of cruel glee, rough but joyful in a mean way. This meant he was going to tease Nines, the android had found… but not always. Surprisingly, the Detective kept many thoughts to himself, even in his loud and brash attitude. 

This time, he teased Nines aloud. “Watch cat videos with Reed? What, you really like cats that much?” He asked, laughing loudly. Nines did not see how that was funny. He liked his plans. Reaching over, Nines tapped the paper, redirecting Gavin’s attention to what he wrote.

The man took approximately 00:00:49.3 seconds to read it, meaning he likely read it multiple times. He was not usually slow when reading. 

Finally, after another 00:00:24.1 seconds, Gavin lifted his head and spoke. “That was… your third day on the job, right?”
Nines nodded.

“I’d… honestly forgotten about that.”

Nines wished they both spoke sign language now, as signing to Gavin that he could tell would surely fluster and anger the man, but in the way Nines liked. Instead, he just imagined Gavin’s reaction, advanced protocols running through the realistic possibilities. He wished he could save every one of them. 

“What’s it take to get you to speak?” He asked suddenly, and Nines frowned again, and shook his head in response. That wasn’t enough for Gavin, apparently.

“No- seriously. I won’t say shit about you, I mean it! I just… want to know what your voice sounds like.” Nines didn’t understand Gavin, why he’d ask for such a thing, but it was a no either way. He needed trust for that sort of thing. Taking his journal back without asking, he got some indignant huff from Gavin as he began writing again.

‘I don’t trust you.’

Wow- he wasn’t sure if he should give that to Gavin or not. Months they’d been working together, and he had seen the man change. They’d both changed. He crossed out the original message with his pen, and despite it being neat, it was still visible so he flipped to the next page. What was he even trying to say? Sighing, he tilted his head back as his hair fell astray and closed his eyes. He put down the journal, spelling out “Gavin cat” in the air. Gavin wasn’t sure what the hell he was doing, that much was obvious, and rolled his eyes.

“You put down the journal to spell it out to me? What, did you look at my grades in middle school and decide I need a spelling lesson or some shit?”

Nines bit his lip, pointed to Gavin and spelled out “cat” on his own hand. He wanted to do it this way because he did. Nines didn’t have a reason and he didn’t need one. He was a deviant now, after all. Wasn’t that the whole point?

“Oh. You want to meet my cat?” He asked, the Detective taken aback. “That’s it?”

Nines nodded. He also wanted to see what a home beyond Hank’s looked like, but that was also besides the point. Connor still hadn’t bothered to move out yet, so this was the best Nines got, unless he got his own possessions. What was the point? He wouldn’t keep them anyways, not forever.

Death happened to everyone, androids especially. The little things he had, the relationships he slowly built, the memories would always be there, until every part of his AI faded away. And then, those things would carry on with another.

It consoled him more than a roof over his head did, but maybe that was because the DPD was like a roof over his head most days. If not the DPD, he would stay with Connor. 

“I guess that’s fine.” The human Detective muttered, and Nines offered a smile in return. It seemed to surprise the man, who looked away for a long moment.

He hoped it didn’t offend him- though, that typically resulted in screaming.   

“So, tonight?” Gavin asked, drumming his foot against the floor. Nines did not know why. 

He gave the human man a nod, and that seemed to appease him well enough. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

A few hours later, Nines hung his coat over his arms and watched Gavin punch out. He’d done so a few minutes before, seeing as he’d decided to begin work a little early that day. Fowler would be annoyed, but Nines did not much care. He’d learned that from Gavin, the android supposed.

“You’ll need to keep any complaints about my driving to your damn self, got it, terminator?” Nines had told Gavin he did not like that name. Gavin said it was fitting because the terminator liked humans in some movies. Nines just thought the terminator was an evil killing machine, and he did not like being referred to for why he was made. 

He frowned at Gavin, reaching out and poking the shorter man’s shoulder. Gavin, somehow understanding that he was complaining already, rolled his eyes. “I’m going to make you watch that shit someday.”

Nines raised one perfect brow, pretending to be repulsed. Gavin tipped his head back and laughed. Nines was too busy smiling to himself to notice the way Connor tilted his head at him from across the precinct, still happy to find he’d managed to get along with Gavin more recently.

The man beckoned for Nines to follow, and his reaction was slow, for an android, as he tried to figure out what the odd motion meant. It was not sign- sign he knew, and Gavin did not. Knowing Gavin, he’d likely never bother to learn.

As Nines made his way to the beat-up 2024 Ford car, Nines assessed it. It went under his name in 2028, and hadn’t been through much use. He was, apparently, past his years of long road trips at 26 years of age. Coward. He admired how well he at least maintained the insides, despite the cheap old thing looking like it ‘belonged in a museum,’ as they say. They did say that Fords lasted for a reason. Inside of the car, he could tell that it was reasonably maintained, as most things Gavin owned. 

He slid into the passenger side door, and noticed that Gavin did not have it rewired for self-driving. Was it meant to be a relic, or did he hate AI that much? It did have some basic safety features, he noticed, when peeling away his skin to connect with the car. He could faintly hear Gavin mussing with his stuff in the backseat. It had power steering and the ability to stop at a certain distance between cars. It also had a backup camera and bluetooth connection, which was likely outdated. Somehow, there was a CD port.

Nine moved his hand away just as Gavin opened up the driver’s side door. “The fuck you doin’ with my car, Nines?” Gavin asked, and Nines gave an innocent shrug that came off far too mischievous. 

Gavin frowned in annoyance. “Seriously- what did you do?”

Nines tilted his head, pulling out his notebook. He heard Gavin give a quiet scoff. 

He began to think up a sentence to explain what he was doing to Gavin, before it dawned on him that he had left his pen on his desk. With a barely audible sigh, he placed his notebook down, reaching for Gavin’s hand instead. The man reluctantly gave up his right palm as he clicked in his seatbelt, looking away again.

… That meant he likely would not be able to tell what Nines was spelling.

Nines took Gavin’s chin in his hand, pulling his face over to look back at his hand. Gavin was warm, surprisingly so, and as he turned to look back at his hand, Gavin was flushed.

S-i-c-k-? Nine spelled, brows furring with concern as pinpointed blue eyes scrutinized Gavin Reed’s whole figure.

Gavin shook his head quickly, frustration worrying his face as he swatted Nines’ hand away. “I’m fine, tin can. You wanna meet my cat or what?”

You were the one who wanted me over, Nines thought with a frown, and he briefly wondered how Gavin would respond if he signed all of his backtalk at the man. Nine chose not to, though, keeping his words to himself and looking out the window. The LED on his head flickered a soft yellow, and as they drove through the after-work traffic, he could feel Gavin’s eyes trace it.

Chapter Text

So this was Gavin Reed’s home. A reasonable apartment, one bedroom and one bathroom, as well as a reasonably sized living room and a small kitchen. Smaller than Connor’s, at any rate, the slab old and almost grey in colour. The apartment, without Gavin’s decoration, would surely look as if someone had ‘drained the life from it.’

In the living room, he had a deep green couch, most likely made of cotton, but Nines didn’t bother to scan it to know. It could be polyester, and it wouldn’t make a reasonable difference either way. He couldn’t feel the comfort in a seat the way some deviants pretended to. Instead, he let his eyes drift to the colourful woven rug on the floor, the stained coffee table and small TV. The place was used, well-loved. In the kitchen, he could see a wild collection of refrigerator magnets plastered to the old white box, and the android smiled. He had multiple of different bottles, buttons, and replicas of vintage items. Perhaps he didn’t so much hate new technology as enjoy the relic of old technology. Nines couldn’t understand the aesthetic, but momentarily, he wished he could. It would be something in common with Gavin, at least. 

The best part was that there were signs of Gavin’s cat, Fillian, everywhere. Cat bowls, a cat tree, a few toys strewn across the janky wooden flooring. He hoped he could see the cat snuggled up in a cat bed. Or on Gavin; that was good too. Maybe even better, the android supposed, before dispensing that though to the side. He knew what he felt, most days, but he didn’t have a word for it. Gavin was simply special to him.

Nines had been so focused on looking around the room he didn’t notice Gavin himself had settled in until he let out an awkward cough. The android’s eyes snapped back to the couch where Gavin now sat, coat draped over the couch’s arm, gun and badge draped lazily on the coffee table. If he had Gavin’s cellular number, he would send the man a text regarding how dangerous that was. Instead, he gave Gavin a disapproving look, earning himself a scoff in return.

“What did I do now, tin can?” Nines rolled his eyes, as if to say, ‘ What do you think?’ Whether Gavin read it that way, he had no idea, but a smile twisted up at the corner of his lips. Nines liked making Gavin smile- not a mean, but genuine, trying to hold back his joy. It was disappointing. He understood what it was like, holding back your joy, before he began to deviate. Nines supposed that, with the war over, that was all deviation was: the comfort and ability to express emotions. Was it odd to say that he wanted Gavin to deviate around him?

Nines signed the thought. Looking down at his hands as he did so. He felt far away, contemplating such a thing, when Gavin asked, “You want me to what?”

Nines blinked. He knew he did not speak aloud, and Gavin’s knowledgeable confusion said what he needed to know. He knew sign.

And he never told Nines.

He was angry now, frustrated as his hands began waving angrily, trying to figure out his words. He couldn't compose them, and as his frustration grew, he felt something furry rub against his legs. Gavin looked more confused than before, with something else crossing his face, and Nines chose to look down so he wouldn’t be looking at him.

The cat was far cuter in person than in the digital photos Gavin shared with him and the precinct. She was a calico cat, purring against his leg, and apparently quite the loving being. He expected an asshole at for an asshole person, but he supposed the saying ‘opposites attract’ may be true in that form. Whether that ‘birds of a feather’ thing was true, he didn’t know. Nines was placated now, LED still yellow but no longer an angry red, and Nines thought he noticed Gavin slump with relief in his peripherals. Knowing how sharp his vision was, and that he was not running any extra software, his vision was probably correct. Whether or not it was relief, Nines didn’t want to know.

“Her name is Seagull.” Gavin commented, and Nines’ voice cracked deep as he let out a laugh, the noise uncomfortable in the already strained silence of the apartment. Nines thought apartments were supposed to be loud, but he felt as if he was the loudest thing he’d heard since he was a few blocks from the building.

If Nines was human, his face would be burning.

Gavin’s reaction to the whole debacle didn’t help, lips parted as his eyes widened, not by much, but enough. If Nines listened hard enough he’d probably be able to hear the man’s heartbeat pick up, and they both just stared at each other for a long while. The cat, Seagull, for fuck’s sake, kept purring happily. 

“I’ve never heard you laugh before.” Gavin finally stated, the annoying obvious crossing his lips, except he was wrong. Nines gave little chuckles all the time. The detective just didn’t care to notice.

So, breaking a hand up in a straight line to his chin, he pulled it across the bottom of his face to the left. Lie. Nines didn’t bother with the full sentence, figuring Gavin could get the idea.

Alas, he was starting to see why Gavin hadn’t mentioned knowing ASL… he obviously wasn't fluent, furrowing his brows. Nines resorted to spelling it out in sign. L-i-e. Little, quick movements that registered on the man’s face, a face Nines was finally learning to read. The only face he could read.

“I mean, I’ve never heard you laugh like that before. It’s…” The human’s face burned, a soft pink that he tried to cover up inconspicuously.

Nines shrugged again, his version of a nonchalant “so?”, and Gavin relented on whatever was in his head.

“It- it’s nice. I’m sorry I- I made fun of your voice when I first met you.”

Nines nodded slowly. He forgave the prat, of course he did. Nines always forgave Gavin, and a smile cracked across his face. He was so scared of speaking, it seemed nice that maybe he would have a place where he could, beyond his home.

“You don’t… have to talk if you don’t want to, but I just wanted to let you know I’m sorry for being a dick.”

“I̶͇̐t̴̟̃'̶̛͜s̶̫̍ okay. I̶̮̒ ̸̺͆ forgi̴̛͛́v̵̜̘͆͘e y̸̬͝o̷̻͠u̴̹͗.” His LED circled yellow as static broke through his voice module, struggling to put together an effective and constant noise. It wasn’t always like this, but these feelings made the existing problem worse. This time, though, he was not as nervous as he once was. He did not stutter, voice solid, and Gavin let out an honest squeak.

Nines froze up. Was he appalled by it, yet again? Was that too much, too inhuman, too disappointing? He couldn’t get sick but Nines was sure that he felt it , that this was what being sick felt like, and if he had a stomach it would be queasy. It was crashing down around him and the nice moment got ruined all over again, and-

“You… forgive me?” Gavin seemed far away, and the artificial breathing Nines typically never bothered with was suddenly slowing. He hadn’t realized he’d been taking in air until he was no longer hyperventilating, and Gavin was sliding off of the couch to gently place his hands on Nines’ arms. “Hey… you okay, tin can?” There was no animosity in his voice, and Nines just let his head fall forward, artificial hair loosening and falling awkwardly as he leaned on the shorter man.

“...N̶͒̄͠o.” His voice was quiet, still scratchy, and Gavin reached around to hug him. Nines didn’t question it.

He came over again the next night, only spoke a few words, but Gavin’s eyes brightened at each one. The cat had taken to curling up on Gavin's legs as he laid them across the coffee table, while Nines pet Seagull gently. It was the third night they’d done this when Gavin introduced him to streaming shows, starting him off with a random crime show on the front pages of the service.

“The fuck is he doing?! That’s not how that procedure works! C’mon, even Nelson knows better than that, and he’s new!!”

Nines found he liked listening to Gavin rant about these things, because sometimes they bothered him too. He’d never taken Gavin to be one bothered by inaccurate television, but kept it to himself that Connor shared the same trait. He just nodded along and smiled, sometimes laughing and watching the way Gavin tipped his head back to cackle louder in response.

The second week and Nines had three changes of clothes he’d left at Gavin’s house, and every night he walked off with the man, he saw how much lighter he stepped, in tandem with how much lighter his own components felt. Connor would raise a brow, but said nothing. Thy still fought, it was true, but Gavin once apologized to Connor, sincerely, and Nines had never been more elated. He felt as if this… this thing was a forbidden tightrope they edged a cross, but at the end, there was something good. It was helping them.

He’d never thought they could change each other.

It all came crashing down again, like usual with the two of them, after a particularly rough case. Gavin switched on a baking show as Nines noted things down in the new blue gel pen he’d taken an interest in. Gavin had vaguely remarked that the cool blue sparkled nicely, how it reminded him of Nines’ eyes, and it was in his very small grocery basket before Gavin could blink.

“Nines… what is this?”

The android looked up, expecting to see him holding something up, an object to the question, but found nothing. He made a noise of inquisition, almost like a soft hum, but a garbled peak at the end of it.
Gavin gestured between them in response. “This- us.”

Nines tilted his head for a moment in thought, turned to the back of his little notebook and wrote down, ‘ Why do you ask?’ in his pretty pen. He’d taken to writing as opposed to signing more, like before, because he really liked the pen. Enough he’d bought six more of them in case one ran out of ink, not that he’d ever tell Gavin that.

Flashing the writing at him, Gavin frowned. “I was just thinking about that guy, in the water.”

“ Drowned.” He wrote, before he realized that maybe Gavin needed something else to be said. Stating facts was no way to comfort a person. “We’ll catch them. ” Then looking up, he pointedly flicked his eyes between the two of them, implying, what does this have to do with us? Gavin was already looking over to read the notebook, and he didn’t notice the gesture. Frustrating, but understandable. Even if his extremely old school ways confused others, Gavin was always reading over what he wrote, like a helicopter parent. Except, it felt nauseating to compare Gavin to any sort of parental figure. He shouldn’t feel nausea, but Nines long ago gave up on making sense of how he possibly felt any of these things.

“Yeah, but… With his mods, he- he-'' Gavin stammered only when he was truly upset, trying not to cry. He didn’t like to show vulnerability, that was clear, but Nines had learned how Much Gavin really wanted to. So, with little effort, Nines wrapped his arms around Gavin as he did on that first night, hands carding through his hair. It was an intimate gesture, one that could end poorly, but his run were known for taking gambles, even if  Nines himself wasn’t. To his surprise, Gavin fell somewhat pliant in his arms, and Nines couldn’t help softly smiling into his hair.“... He looked like you.” Gavin finished, a mumble quiet enough his lips barely parted to speak.

‘He did, a little. But it wasn’t me. I’m right here,’ He wanted to say, so he hoped that he could pour that thought into the way his arms wound tighter around Gavin.

“I’ve been wasting my chances my whole life, Nines.” He had- Nines had heard, through the grapevine, but never directly from the man himself. “I- I didn't even want to be an officer.” He’d heard that as well, and nodded solemnly above his head, where he rested his own. “I don’t want to waste my chances with you. I don’t want to lose you and realize I never took the fuckin’ leap,” Gavin said, voice craking, tears falling, and Nines pulled back, blue eyes filling with confusion.

“Ŵ̷̨̹̇h̷̗̎a̶̛̎ͅt̶̮̚͘?̴͓̪̑͌” Nines asked, voice more glitchy than usual as a tear slid down his cheek as well. Nines had never had any fear of dying, and hadn’t put much thought to it. Apparently, Gavin had been doing all of the thinking for him.

“I love you, Nines.”

The android started at his swollen-eyed confession, lips slowly parting un surprise right as someone started cussing on the baking show, but the moment couldn’t be any less ruined, because Nines still had no idea how to answer. They had been good to each other, recently, but not always. Gavin was still a dick and couldn’t stand that he barely understood Nines. Nines himself couldn’t stand it either. Logically, Gavin loving him was a detriment to their work in the DPD.

Gavin, despite the concern on Nines face, continued. “We’ve been breaking all the normal boundaries with each other. I should mind, really, I should, but I like when you sit by my bed to watch me sleep, or when I wake up and you’re sitting on the couch in the living room flitting through memories or wherever the fuck you go. I know we don’t get each other, but being around one another is the only thing that makes any sense , and Nines, I know you have a lot of insecurities. Fuck, I do too, and I never thought I’d admit that first, but Nines, please-”

It was a horrible idea, especially considering he had no idea how to do it, but Nines kissed him. It was awkward and horrid but also… nice, the way Gavin relaxed and gently pressed his lips back. Nines didn’t know Gavin could be a gentle person before those few weeks ago. Was it his voice that he liked? It seemed impossible, but such an arbitrary part of himself began all of this.

So when Nines pulled away, needing to ask the important question, he knew the answer when Gavin pressed one finger to his artificial lips. His hand uncurled before twisting the middle and ring finger down, index, thumb, and pinkie still out. And then, with all the care in the world, he placed his calloused, scarred hand over top of Nine’s thirium pump.

“You… are a maze to me Nines, but you are one I never want to stop navigating. I know you.. Your mind wanders, in the best of ways and the worst. I’m not a great person, but I love you. And I don’t ever need you to change yourself for me.”

Nines LED, ever blue again, was lighting a soft and pale glow on Gavin’s face, and as he leaned in to kiss Gavin again, he knew that his actions told Gavin what he couldn’t say.

I know.