Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Think we’ll get to save anyone famous?” Chimney asked as the engine approached the location of the fire they’d been called to. 

It was a movie set, but not on the grounds of one of the major studios who all had their own on-site fire and safety response teams. Instead, a derelict factory and storage building that was frequently used for movie productions had reported a fire. In all likelihood, Eddie thought, they were probably just prepping the location — same as last time, about two years ago, when the 118 had responded to a call from the same location — and there’d be no actors around. 

“Like who?” Ravi asked, and Chimney shrugged. 

“Scarlett Johansson?”

“Since when are you into Scarlett Johansson?” Buck asked, his brow furrowing and eyes narrowed to slits, which had Eddie chuckle faintly. 

“I’m not. I was asking for a friend. Literally. But don’t tell Karen.” 

“Nothing wrong with a little celebrity crush,” Eddie said. 

“Exactly,” Chim agreed, and, likely knowing full-well that Buck’s reaction stemmed from a protectiveness over his sister, added, “Maddie has a bit of a celebrity crush herself. At first she didn’t even want to watch Aquaman , but afterwards I caught her browsing pictures of Jason Momoa on her phone. I almost considered growing my hair out.” 

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s all you’d have to grow,” Buck said, wrapping his hand around his own bicep, which made Ravi and Eddie laugh while Chim shot Buck a mock-affronted glare. 

As the engine drove onto site, followed by the ambulance currently manned by Hen and Julie, the light-hearted conversations stopped and everyone prepared themselves to act quickly and efficiently. 

The building was fully made of brick and concrete, with not too many flammables inside. So, the fire that had started in one of the rooms by a shortage in a power generator was easily and swiftly put out. Aside from the 118, there was also a team of set medics with their own ambulance, which, should there be any injuries would surely come in handy. 

There were quite a few people on that set, but so far, Eddie had no idea if they were just crew or also cast members. It didn’t really matter anyway. 

Just ten minutes or so after they got there, the fire was put out; Chim, Hen and Julie were treating two people with mild burns but no other, severe injuries, and it looked like the whole incident was perfectly under control. Until a guy a few feet next to them hurried towards the entrance in obvious agitation. 

“Oh my God, where are they?” 

“Who?” a woman next to him, with a headset on and a clipboard under her arm asked as she looked around the group standing in front of the set building. Quite suddenly, her eyes widened, and it became clear that they were missing someone. 

Eddie exchanged a quick glance with Buck, ready to storm back into the building to find whoever may have passed out from smoke inhalation or fell in a panic and had injured themselves, but before they even started to move, there was a shape visible in the entrance. 

A man, carrying a young girl around Christopher’s age and a medium-sized dog walked out, and the first guy, who Eddie guessed was probably the director, let out a stuttered sigh of relief as he hurried towards them. 

“Oh my god, Sandra, I thought you and Lady were in the trailer,” he said and took the girl from the other guy’s arms, hugging her before he let her stand on her own feet again.

“Dad. I’m fine. I just got lost upstairs because of the smoke.” 

“I heard the dog barking,” the other guy said and made a small, nonchalant waving motion with his hand. 

“So you barged right in and saved them? Wow,” the director — Eddie was just going to call him that in his head — let out a breathy chuckle and shook his head. 

“Like a real Captain America,” the girl said dreamily. 

And in that moment, as Eddie took off his helmet, the slightly soot-covered visor not obstructing his view any longer, he recognized who the hero was. 

“Oh…my…God.” Buck mumbled next to Eddie, obviously awe-struck. “That…That is—”

“Chris Evans,” Eddie finished for him, also quite surprised and a little excited. Strangely enough, even though he lived and worked in LA, he had never met an A-list celebrity on any of their calls or elsewhere yet. 

“You know, Christopher would love an autograph of him,” he said to Buck who was still staring as the Hollywood actor continued talking to the director and the girl, as well as Hen and Julie who had now come over to check on her. It didn’t look like she had received any injuries during the ordeal, and even the dog, a quite young looking beagle, was now jumping up and down his owner's leg happily. 

“Yeah,” Buck just muttered faintly. “I bet he would.” 

Bobby had come up behind them too, and Eddie looked back at him, wondering if it was okay to ask for something like that. He had no idea what the protocol was in such a situation. Bobby shrugged his head left and right subtly, as if he, too, was wondering the same thing. Then, however, his brows went up a fraction and his gaze drifted towards where the actor was standing. Correction: not standing any longer but walking up towards them just as Buck had taken one step forward too. 

Eddie briefly clapped Buck on the back and said, in a low voice, “You can ask him. I bet Christopher would be over the moon if you brought him an autograph.” 

Buck just nodded faintly, slowly, not moving even when Chris Evans had reached them. 

“Hey, thank you guys. I’ve never been in a fire before, and it’s not exactly an experience I’d like to repeat. But you guys took care of it so quickly. So thank you.” 

“Luckily, it wasn’t a big fire,” Bobby replied. “Nobody got hurt. And it looks like we have you to thank for that as well.”

“Ah, well…” Evans let out an almost bashful chuckle and waved his hand again. “Probably just dumb luck. I wanted to thank you anyway.”

“We were just doing our job, man,” Eddie said, giving him a brief smile before he picked up the hose that he and Buck had operated moments ago. Bobby moved to help him roll it back up. 

Buck still stood rooted to the spot, and it became quite obvious that he was really utterly star-struck. Eddie could just so refrain from rolling his eyes, feeling a smirk spread on his lips. Of course, Captain America had always been Buck’s favourite Avenger, too. 

“You know, I wanted to be a firefighter when I was a kid,” Evans now said to Buck while Eddie and Bobby continued rolling up the hose. They were all standing close enough to the fire engine to still remain within earshot. 

“Uh.” 

“But here I am, making movies about heroes while you guys are the real ones.” It was a genuine compliment, and for a moment Eddie considered the option that the actor was as ‘ star-struck ’ about meeting real life firefighters as other people were about meeting celebrities. 

“Canigetanautograph,” Buck blurted out in one breath, and Eddie winced slightly in mild second-hand embarrassment, biting the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t laugh. 

“Sorry? I didn’t catch that.” 

“I…Uh. An autograph. For—for my, err…Chris.” 

“Yes?” 

“No, I mean…” Buck’s voice was raspy, quiet, and he cleared his throat around a sheepish chuckle. “For—for a boy named Christopher.” 

“Oh!” Evans replied with a big, warm grin, “Sorry. Yes, sure. Do you have something to write?” 

Buck started patting himself down as if he might find a piece of paper and a pen in the pockets of his turnout gear. Of course, he didn’t. Luckily, the set assistant or whoever she was had heard the exchange and came over, handing Evans her clipboard. 

“You sure you don’t need this?” he asked, and she shook her head. 

“Just turn it around and use the blank side.”

“Cool, thank you, Becky. So…” Evans held the clipboard and looked back up at Buck. “How old?” 

“Uh…thirty.” 

“Christopher is thirty?” Evans asked, brow furrowing slightly. 

Shit, this was an utter trainwreck. Next to Eddie, Bobby closed the lid of the hose compartment a little more noisily than needed to tune out his snort of laughter. 

“No, he’s eleven,” Buck finally replied, one hand going up to his forehead to rub it in embarrassment. 

If Evans was in any way feeling awkward at the whole thing, he was doing a great job hiding it. “Great. So should I put Chris or Christopher? Maybe from Chris to Chris would be fun?”

“Uh-huh, yeah.” 

As Evans scribbled something on the page, he looked back up at Buck. “There’s another page here. Do you want one too?” 

And wow, that dude was really genuinely nice, wasn’t he? Eddie was just a little surprised that Buck, who was only nodding now in response, could actually get this flustered around a celebrity. 

Evans looked at Buck expectantly, prompting him to tell him his name. A simple enough task. Or so one should think. 

“I…uh— …err.”

“Oh, and do you want me to sign them just with my name or also—”

“Buck!” Buck quickly blurted out as he finally seemed to have remembered his own damn name. 

Evans tilted his head a little, squinting at Buck. “You mean Steve?” 

“My name isn’t Steve.” 

Next to Eddie, Hen and Chim had quietly come up to him and Bobby, watching the whole scene with them. Leaning in, Hen whispered in Eddie’s ear, “It’s like watching a particularly gruesome accident.”

Eddie, unfortunately, could only nod and agree. 

“No, I meant…” Evans let out a friendly little chuckle. “I played Steve, not Bucky. Though, if your boy likes Bucky too I could maybe ask Seb to send an auto—”

“Evan,” Buck interrupted him, receiving another slightly confused look from the actor. 

“Evans. Yeah, that’s my last name.” 

“No, that’s my name.” 

Evans still squinted at Buck a little, though there was a soft, friendly smile on his face. “I’m not sure I’m following.”

“Jesus, I can’t watch this,” Hen muttered before she took a step forward towards them. “His name is Evan Buckley, but he goes by Buck.” 

“Oh!” Evans exclaimed, nodding and waving his finger at Hen gratefully, before he turned back to Buck. “Right. So sorry. I didn’t get that, Evan. Or Buck. Huh…” His brow furrowed a little again, a grin forming on his face. “Your name is Evan, and you have a son named Chris. What a funny coincidence.” 

“He’s not actually—” 

“Yeah, it’s real funny, huh?” Chim now called, coming two steps closer to the pair. “Evan and Evans. Imagine if you two got married.” 

The thing was, if you knew Chim, then even his sometimes slightly awkward jokes always landed or at least made you chuckle about him . In this case, however, the result was a round of very awkward silence, coupled with a glare from Buck in Chim’s direction that basically said Buck would have very much liked for the earth to open up beneath him and swallow him. Eddie would feel really sorry for him if the whole star-struck thing hadn’t been a tiny little bit ridiculous. (He still did feel sorry, though.)

“I have got to go,” Buck just said, his voice nearly trembling with embarrassment. 

Luckily, Evans swooped down and saved him by letting out a bark of laughter. “You guys are hilarious. Here, don’t forget these,” he said, pulling the two pages from the clipboard and handing them to Buck who just so managed to get out a throaty little ‘thanks’. 

“Keep up the great work, guys,” Evans said warmly, smacking Buck’s shoulder once. And, despite all of Buck’s embarrassment — which was very clear in the way his face had turned rather red — he smiled a little before he made his way back to the engine, at last. 

Just as they all got on, Eddie could see Evans squint in Chimney’s direction before he lifted a hand, forefinger vaguely waving at Chim. “Hey… have we met?” 

Chim looked back at the actor, his brows going up to his hairline. “Uh, no, I don’t think so,” he replied before he turned and jogged over to the ambulance. 

“Huh,” Evans just mumbled, looking a little confused for a moment. But then he smiled again and waved at them all until Eddie slid the door shut and the engine drove off. 

While Hen and Ravi were looking at Buck, Eddie pointedly avoided it for the moment. This really had been an utter trainwreck, and Eddie still had no idea what had even gotten Buck to mess it all up so colossally. 

“Not. A. Word.” Buck just muttered darkly. 

Next to him, Ravi just breathed out a voiceless chuckle, but Hen’s was a little more audible. 

“He was being really nice about it, though.”

“Yeah!” Ravi agreed brightly. “He even made it look like the whole name confusion had been his fault. Very gracious of him.” 

“I have to leave the country,” Buck said, still that low, monotonous and somewhat dark tone. 

“Aww, come on, Buckaroo. It wasn’t that bad,” Hen said gently. “I’m sure he’s seen a lot worse.”

“Yeah,” Ravi agreed. “My sister was at a convention of this TV show she used to watch, and one girl there tried to kiss one of the actors. At least you didn’t do that.” 

Buck just glared at Ravi, open-mouthed, as if Ravi had meant to imply Buck’s actions had only been one level less awful than kissing someone who didn’t want it to happen. 

Finally, Eddie let out a snort of laughter too, though there was an odd feeling in his middle he couldn’t quite pinpoint as images stirred in his mind he couldn’t prevent. “Well, good thing we didn’t meet Scarlett Johansson. Though, what got you so flustered around that guy is still beyond me.” 

“I met Salma Hayek once,” Bobby said, turning around towards them. “I was nearly as star-struck as Buck here. Well…not quite.”

Eddie turned around in his seat a little. “Yeah, but Salma Hayek is an attractive woman . I would have understood that. But Chris Evans?” He turned towards Buck again. “He’s a guy.” 

All Buck did was look at him with deeply furrowed brows, head slightly lowered, and Eddie had no idea what this was about. 

“If I’d known you’d get this worked up, I’d have asked him for the autograph for Christopher myself,” Eddie tried for a mix between amused and consoling. For some reason, however, he felt his heartbeat pick up, and it reflected in his tone that came out a lot harsher than he had intended. 

“Eddie,” Hen said softly. 

“I mean, is this some celebrity man crush?” he said with a snort, ignoring Hen, needing to say something, to make sense of this, to apologize for letting it happen, or…something — he didn’t even know. 

“I just didn’t think you’d be this bothered because attractive women actually throw themselves at you all the time. And I mean really, really attractive women. And that one time last year…wasn’t that some Victoria’s Secret model whose cat we rescued from a tree? She was all over you, but no, you kept your professional cool anyway.” 

“She wasn’t my type,” Buck replied in a small voice. 

“Yeah, but…Captain America is?” A small, incredulous laugh came over Eddie’s lips a little high-pitched, stuttering in his throat. “Who’s still a guy, by the way.” 

“Eddie,” Hen warned him, a little louder this time, but something in Eddie’s brain was rattling, trying to piece together a puzzle although he wasn’t sure he wanted to see the finished result. 

“And you’re not into guys. So excuse me for being confused here that you—”

“Eddie, you need to shut up right now,” Hen said with an urgency and finality that even Eddie couldn’t ignore. 

He only noticed how his heart was suddenly racing in his chest. How Buck had sunken down lower in his seat, eyes wide, lips parted, looking small and caught and anxious. And that made even less sense. Or maybe it did but Eddie was simply missing the biggest piece of the puzzle. 

“You…He’s not…” he breathed out, his voice catching in his throat as he looked at Hen who decidedly didn’t meet his gaze, then at Ravi who’d gone quiet but was looking back and forth between them just with his eyes, otherwise unmoving, and back to Buck who now held Eddie’s gaze. 

Something darkened in Buck’s blue eyes then; his lips closed and his jaw clenched as a mask of defiance fell over his face. 

“I am.” 

Eddie realistically knew that the engine driving over the street made a whole bunch of sounds. At this moment, however, it was like his ears had fallen shut like they did due to the decrease in pressure when you ascended into the air on a plane. All he could hear was the rapid thumping of his own heart as the realization of what Buck had just said sunk into his consciousness.

“Huh, look at the time,” Ravi said after what seemed like an eternity of silence between all of them but likely had been only a few seconds. “When we get back, our shift’s almost over. And we have a whole Saturday off. Got anything planned with your family?” he asked Hen, who heaved a quiet but deep sigh. 

“No, just some downtime. I have a class in the afternoon, though.” 

“Ah, good. That’s nice. Not much longer until you can start your residency, huh?” 

“Yeah. Just a few more months.” 

Eddie didn’t even have it in him to think that he was going to miss Hen, once she left the 118 for good. All he could think of was the bomb Buck had just dropped that had, quite suddenly, turned his whole world upside down. So much so, that the thumping of his heart didn’t seem to calm down, and every breath he took cost him a great deal of effort to force it to remain even, slow and quiet. 

Finally, the engine came to a halt inside the firehouse and Eddie slid the door back open, ready to bolt. It was Buck who practically zoomed past him before Eddie even stood on solid ground. 

“Hey, what’s up with him?” Chim asked, the ambulance already having parked a few moments before them. “Is he still embarrassed because he made a bit of a fool of himself in front of Chris Evans?” 

“He’ll be fine,” Hen lied, to Eddie’s surprise. 

Eddie had wanted to rush to the changing rooms and get his things, but now Buck was there, and Eddie didn’t know what to do, where to go, or how to appease that horrible clenching feeling in his gut that went beyond the shock of the revelation he’d just witnessed. As everyone else took off their gear, he still stood by the fire engine, and it was only when he felt Hen’s hand on his shoulder that he could shake himself out of his stupor. 

“You better go talk to him,” she said gently but with urgency, and, while his heart was still beating rapidly, Eddie felt like he could finally take a proper, deeper breath in her calming presence. 

“I…What the hell just happened?” 

“That boy probably thinks you have a problem with what he just revealed. You gotta fix this,” she replied and moved a little closer to him, her eyes trained on him and the smallest of smiles on her lips. “You don’t have a problem with it, right?” 

For some reason it didn’t really sound like a question, not like Hen seriously considered him being bigoted about something like that, and Eddie was grateful for that. It meant, if Hen was sure of it, he could convince Buck as well. 

“Did you know?” he asked faintly, wondering if he was the only one of the team who hadn’t been privy to this fact about Buck. After all, they had known him more than a year longer, had witnessed his ‘Buck 1.0’ phase, and they had been around in the four months since Christmas in which Eddie had needed to figure out where he stood in life, where he wanted to be, and so much more. What if it had come up sometime after Buck had broken up with Taylor? Had it been difficult for Buck to admit? Had he needed support from his closest friends and family in figuring himself out, just that Eddie hadn’t been there because he’d been too busy with himself? 

“Just talk to him,” was all Hen replied. She squeezed his shoulder one last time before she headed off in direction of the changing rooms as well. 

Just as Eddie took another deep breath to steady himself, he saw Buck storm out, his duffel bag in hand and still in his uniform. He only briefly stopped in front of Bobby, exchanged a few words with him that Eddie couldn’t hear over the distance, and then left in the direction of the parking lot. 

Eddie exhaled a defeated sigh before he finally headed for the changing room. Maybe it was best to let Buck calm down first and talk to him tomorrow. Just how he was going to tackle that he had not the slightest clue. There was so much else they’d never talked about, so much Eddie never wanted to unpack or reveal himself, and he had a feeling it was going to be difficult to leave those issues separated. 

When he entered the room, he saw a sheet of paper on the bench, right in front of his own locker. Picking it up, he realized it was the autograph for Christopher. 

Dear Chris,

I only play a superhero, but your dad and his friends are real heroes. 

You can be really proud of them. 

Love, 

Chris Evans
(aka Captain America)

Eddie let out another sigh and then carefully folded the paper in half. He’d give it back to Buck so he could give it to Christopher himself. Of all the misunderstandings that happened today, Buck being Christopher’s dad was one Eddie definitely couldn’t mind in the slightest.

Chapter Text

This September, it would be four years since Eddie joined the LAFD, and four years since he met Buck. Four years wasn’t a very long time, considering he’d lived the thirty years of his life prior to this not knowing Buck. Sometimes, it felt like those past four years had just flown by like nothing; other times, it felt like it had already been a lifetime, like Eddie couldn’t even really remember a life before — or much of it that didn’t revolve around Christopher. 

The truth was, the family Eddie had found at the 118, and Buck at its center, had become such a constant in his life that Eddie often wanted to kick himself for ever thinking he needed to leave them behind. Those four months of absence had, in many ways, felt longer than all of the four years spent with the 118 together. But whenever Eddie wanted to regret leaving, — noticing, like now, that he still struggled finding his way back into their midst — he also remembered that he had needed that time, and that distance, to figure out if not all then most of the things that had gone awry in his life, had tilted him off center and thrown him off his course. 

It had been a long, difficult and mostly lonely process, because, as much as he had wanted to stay in touch with his second family, it had hurt. Seeing them or calling them always made it harder to take that time for himself. And he had needed it to push himself, step by step, into admitting that the risks of his job and how it affected Christopher hadn’t been all or even the deciding factor that had made him leave. 

Christopher may have been the trigger for his initial decision, but it had also been Christopher who had pushed Eddie into finally getting some help, into ultimately admitting that he had never wanted to leave, and slowly, painfully figuring out that Eddie was entitled to want things and pursue them. 

There was just one thing he could admit to wanting as much as he liked, he would never get to have it, and living with that, accepting that, had been the hardest part of it all. 

Eddie had spent almost his entire life keeping his own feelings at bay, repressing everything that he selfishly felt, only for his own sake. He’d ignored that, while truly and genuinely loving Shannon as a friend, he’d never loved her as much as she deserved, and as deeply, passionately, physically and romantically as he, himself, deserved loving someone. He’d ignored that he hadn’t wanted to get married once she was pregnant, but instead of facing the whole scope of his decision, he’d run away and convinced himself it was for the best. 

Later, when Shannon had left and he’d selfishly felt relieved for a moment, he’d ignored that too in favour of being angry at her and feeling abandoned. At least, that had been easier, a simpler, more justifiable feeling that he didn’t need to feel guilty about. 

And even later, while he thought he was getting better at not completely ignoring his own wishes, he had always just satisfied them on a surface level, or found an easy quick-fix outlet for his issues while never tackling the root, never allowing himself to face the truth — whichever of the many truths he’d later uncovered it was at the time. 

So his fears and worries for Christopher were only a pretence on the surface, too. Of course, being shot in broad daylight in the middle of the street hadn’t been something to leave him entirely cold. Eddie had struggled with that, and, like everything else, he’d repressed it too. But there was something else at the center of that event, something linked with it so intrinsically that, as soon as he had started to finally unpack everything with the help of his therapist, he could no longer ignore it, could no longer pretend that it wasn’t true, wasn’t a big, fucking gigantic part of his life and his entire being that everything else, every other issue he needed to face, hinged on. 

The truth, the indubitable, earth-shattering truth was that Eddie was in love with Buck, and it had taken him months of painful, difficult soul-searching to finally fully come to terms with it and everything it meant. 

What it meant, considering that Buck still had a girlfriend when Eddie had, tearfully, said it out loud for the first time to his therapist were several things. 

First of all, it meant that Eddie had to finally admit to himself that he was gay. That had probably been the biggest part of it all, sending him right into a panic attack in the middle of Dr. Barrera’s office. As hard and nearly insurmountable as it had seemed before Eddie had ultimately taken that leap, once it was done, everything that followed seemed rather easy; Eddie could still remember the relief he’d felt once he’d overcome that gigantic wall he’d put up around himself, and — even though it still was frightening to come to terms with his sexual orientation in his mid thirties — how proud of himself he had been for that achievement. 

What it meant next was, according to his therapist, that he had to allow himself to feel what he felt and experience it in all its facets — his love and devotion for Buck, the thoughts and fantasies he had about him that weren’t shameful but natural and normal; and, lastly, the grief it brought because Eddie knew that Buck would never return his feelings. And that, again, had meant dealing with it, accepting it like everything else, feeling it but ultimately letting it go some day. 

He was still in that process, still struggled to reconcile his hurt and disappointment with his wish and need to not lose Buck entirely. That part — the realization that having Buck in his life in whichever way Buck was willing to give was better than not having him at all — had been simultaneously the most self-evident and the hardest of it all. 

He’d been managing it, though. He was talking to his therapist, now once every other week; he’d gotten in touch with an old army buddy of his to have a friend outside the group that was linked to Buck; and he’d focused on the good things between him and Buck as their friendship was slowly coming back on track after that difficult, uncertain time of separation. 

He wasn’t ready to tell Buck or anyone at the 118 about all of it yet, but Eddie wasn’t dealing with it on his own, and for the first time in a long time he felt like things could actually be good in his life, eventually. 

Then, today had happened, and everything was upside down, everything he’d been so sure of now unclear and uncertain. 

Maybe he had a chance with Buck after all. Or maybe he had had it, before he’d been with Ana and Buck with Taylor, before Eddie had been shot and things had spiralled out of control and out of balance between them. Maybe something was broken between them, after all, irrevocably. Or maybe it could still be fixed but, no matter that Buck was interested in men too, it wouldn’t be fixed in a way Eddie was hoping for. 

But the truth was also that Eddie would never get an answer to this if he didn’t dare take the first step to find out. 

It was therefore almost three hours after their shift had ended at seven, and after Eddie had called Hen and asked her if he could drop Christopher off for a sleepover with Denny even despite the late hour, that he stood in front of the door to Buck’s apartment, trying to muster the courage to ring. 

He didn’t even know if Buck was home. Maybe he’d gone to Maddie and Chimney’s, or he was out for a late run which he sometimes did when he was stressed. Or maybe he’d gone to a bar for a few drinks, even to try and meet someone new; after all, he was single, and while Buck also always said he didn’t want to revert to his ‘Buck 1.0 days’, going out to get to know new people was nothing anyone could hold against him. 

Maybe Eddie was just trying to find reasons why he shouldn’t ring and was stalling until he found the energy to lift his hand and—

The door was being pulled open, and suddenly Eddie stood face to face with Buck who was holding a trash bag and stared at Eddie in mildly startled surprise. 

“Eddie…what are you doing here?” 

“I wanted to talk to you,” Eddie said quickly, looking at Buck pleadingly. “About earlier. I’m so sorry how that went down. I— Can we talk, please?” 

There was a frown on Buck’s face, his shoulders tense before he released a small sigh and nodded. “Yeah. Okay. Just let me…” He lifted the bag and pointed into the hallway, and Eddie awkwardly squeezed himself past Buck and his bag, into the loft.

So at least Buck was willing to talk, and Eddie breathed out a sigh of relief he hadn't been aware of holding in. Nevertheless, he was nervous. However it went, whatever he'd say, it could hardly be said without laying things bare that he had avoided to touch on, for so long.

As Eddie waited for Buck to come back he suddenly had no idea where to stand, feeling not at home as he usually had done in Buck's loft, but out of place somehow. He'd so rarely been here the past...well, year.

He heard Buck's steps on the hallway, coming back toward him and went to lean against the island counter in the kitchen. When Buck finally closed the door he looked at Eddie with a mix of confusion, hurt and hopefulness.

"So, you...uh...wanted to talk?"

Eddie nodded slowly as Buck passed him. He stopped by his sink, hands braced on the counter surface behind him, and his gaze going back and forth between Eddie and the floor.

There were so many things Eddie could, probably should say, but for some reason, the words simply wouldn't form in his mind or on his tongue. Instead, what he finally got out was, "Why did you never say anything?"

Buck’s eyes widened slightly; he looked caught and guilty, and that was the last thing Eddie wanted to achieve.

"I mean...this is not an accusation. This isn't me saying you should have told me. But you could have. I mean,” he let out a mirthless little laugh, “I hope you know I don't have a problem with this, Buck. I don’t have a problem with Hen either, or Michael or—"

"I never really thought you did," Buck said, and at least that was a relief, but it also added to Eddie’s confusion. "But..." He looked up at Eddie again, his eyes still shining with anxiousness even if he huffed out a small, somewhat bitter chuckle. "We've always been a little closer, so this was different than you and Hen or people you just know. I...I didn’t want it to get awkward between us or for you to think that I’d…Well. I didn't want it to ruin our friendship."

"Buck," Eddie breathed, and God, that hurt. It hurt in two ways at once. First of all, to think that Buck had kept it in all this time because he was afraid it was going to impact their friendship negatively. And secondly Buck had just more or less confirmed that him being attracted to men didn’t automatically imply he’d be interested in Eddie.  

Eddie took a small step closer but kept an arm's length of distance between them nevertheless. He felt that if he did something like lay his hand on Buck's shoulder for comfort and reassurance, he would need to pull him in for a hug. He had no idea if he’d be able to let go again. 

"First of all, nothing you could say or do could ever make me turn on you or ruin our friendship. And I mean it. Nothing, okay?"

There was a first, tentative smile forming slowly on Buck's lips, and it made Eddie's heart jump in his chest with something a little warmer and lighter.

"Really? Nothing?" Buck asked, and that tentative smile turned into the faintest trace of a teasing smirk.

Eddie shrugged, waving one hand vaguely. "Well. Unless you did something really awful. Like, I dunno, murder someone."

The smile on Buck's face became a little brighter, and he let out a faint, throaty chuckle.

"I mean," Eddie continued, "unless they deserved it. Then I'd probably help you bury the body."

"Oh. You'd actually do that for me?" Buck asked with a watery laugh.

Even though it was all just a joke, Eddie almost wanted to reply that he'd do anything for Buck, would give him anything he asked for, protect him from anything if he needed it, no questions asked or conditions given.

What he said instead, still with a hint of humor in his tone, was, "That's what friends are for, right?"

There was a moment of silence between them, somewhere in limbo between this light, hilarious mood and something heavy that was still lurking beneath the surface. Then, Buck shifted a little and let his hand run along the edge of the kitchen counter as if to find something to busy himself with.

"What you said earlier, though. That nothing could ever make you—"

"Me leaving wasn't on you, Buck. I told you that," Eddie quickly interjected. "You did nothing wrong, and you didn't drive me away. It was all me. I just had so many things to figure out about myself, and I had to do that on my own," he took a slightly deeper breath and bit his lower lip for a moment, trying to find the right words but not saying too much either. "It wasn't anything you did, and you couldn't have done anything different or better."

Eddie could see Buck drawing in a very slow and deep breath, his brows furrowing upwards in the middle, and the corners of his mouth pulled into a small but grateful smile. They had had a similar conversation about this before, but maybe Eddie hadn't made himself clear enough the last time. He was glad that he finally had.

"Thank you for saying that." Buck's voice had gone a little raspy, and he cleared his throat. "I...uh...just wanted to say the same. That nothing could ever ruin our friendship for me either. And… I think I'd also help you bury a body." He squinted a little into the air, a crooked smirk on his lips. "Maybe even if they hadn't deserved being murdered."

Eddie let out a soft, incredulous laugh. "Of course you had to go and top that."

"Yeah. I kinda had to."

"Well, either way, thanks."

There was silence between them again — not awkward or heavy this time, just a warmth that settled over Eddie that was just a tiny bit painful and tense. God, he loved Buck so much, loved everything about him from the most ridiculous to the very best. He just had to learn to live with the fact that Buck didn't love him back in the exact same way, not romantically at least.

To keep the topic light, Eddie let out a small huff of a chuckle. "So, Christ Evans, huh?" And God, was Eddie irrationally jealous of him. 

Buck winced around a chuckle of his own, going just ever so slightly red. "That was a disaster."

"Yeah. It really was," Eddie teased. "But I meant...he's the kind of guy who'd be your type?"

Buck shrugged, a little sheepish, as he leaned back against the counter, his long legs stretched out in front of him. "I mean. He's pretty hot."

Eddie gave just the vaguest of nods at that. "And...is this a recent realization for you. Or...did you always know but just never— I mean, did anyone know?"

"Uh, it's kind of...a bit complicated, actually," Buck replied, swallowing slightly and fidgeting with the sleeve of his hoodie. "I mean there were a few— A few encounters and, well...crushes here and there, nothing serious though. So I wasn't even exactly sure what label applied. Not that it matters much, but… you know."

"It probably doesn't, no," Eddie agreed, although he, himself, was pretty solidly sure about himself, and finally being able to give a name to the truth he’d always tried to bury had helped him.

"Yeah. And, well, I never went and said 'Hi, my name is Evan Buckley, and I guess I’m bisexual.' It just never seemed important enough. And then, when it did, I thought—" Suddenly, Buck bit his tongue, his face turned a little redder, and Eddie had a strange feeling that there was something he should be paying attention to. Something that almost made sense if he only looked a little deeper.

“So anyway,” Buck said a little louder, a breathy, bashful chuckle masking his nervousness. “Maddie’s always known. And, well, of the 118, like I said, I never went and told anyone because it just didn’t…It didn’t matter. I was always much more into women. But…Hen knew before today. I mean, she’s Hen . And I think Bobby may have suspected it, but that’s it.” 

Eddie wondered how they knew or suspected, if it had something to do with things that had happened before Eddie had joined the 118. In the almost four years since he had, he’d never seen Buck flirt with a guy on a call, or flirt back when he was being flirted at. 

“And I just made you come out to all of them, and not on your terms,” Eddie said. “God, Buck, I’m so sorry.” 

“Hey, it’s fine,” Buck replied, the smile he gave Eddie as well as the forgiveness in it genuine. “It’s probably best that the cat’s finally out of the bag. Though…it means I also have to tell Chimney. It’ll probably make him mentally blue-screen.” Buck laughed a little, and Eddie, too, felt a soft laugh bubble up his throat at the image of Chimney’s probably completely dumbfounded look. 

“Although, maybe…” Buck started, a hint of mischief in his gaze, “It would be kinda fun to just keep dropping hints until he finally figures it out. Maybe about other male celebrities.” 

Eddie snorted softly. “That could take a while. I mean, it’s Chimney.” 

“Yeah,” Buck smiled. “Hm, I just can’t think of any.”

“Any what?” 

“Other actors or famous men,” Buck shrugged. “Not from the top of my head.” 

“So it’s really just Chris Evans, huh?” Eddie hoped it sounded as playfully teasing as he had aimed for and not jealous — which was a ridiculous thing to feel in the context.

“Oh, I know,” Buck said, a slightly crooked smirk forming his lips and his brows going up. “The guy who plays the Witcher and Superman.” 

“Really? Him?” Eddie snorted softly, although he could see the appeal. “He’s even beefier than you.” 

Buck shrugged, leaving his shoulders drawn up for a moment as he tilted his head and his brows furrowed. “Kinda the point. But anyway. They’re celebrities. It’s not like I’d have a chance with either of them even if I wanted to.” 

“Yeah, I know the feeling.” The words had come out — more mumbled to himself than anything — before Eddie really thought about it, and he felt a pang of anxiety in the pit of his stomach. 

“So who’s it for you?” Buck asked, blissfully oblivious. “Salma Hayek or Scarlett Johansson?” 

Eddie could have easily lied; he could have made something up, but Buck had been so honest with him now, had laid himself bare, and Eddie simply didn’t have it in him to tell him something untrue. There was also a part of him — a small, and very frightened but nonetheless powerful part — that just ached to finally be shared with someone other than his therapist. 

Nevertheless, all Eddie did for now was shrug before his hand came up, on its own accord, to rub over his forehead. 

And even just that gesture already said too much, because he could see Buck squint at him, see him pick up on the tension and turmoil Eddie was suddenly feeling inside. 

They still stood with that arm’s length of distance apart. In some ways, it felt entirely too close, and in others not close enough, and Eddie didn’t know what to do with himself, with his body, other than brace himself against the island in his back as Buck had done on his side earlier. Buck, who was now standing between the sink and the island, one hand coming to rest on the polished surface right next to the fruit basket standing there like a piece of decoration in a fancy furniture store. He almost wanted to reach for one of the oranges just to keep his hands busy with something. 

“I said I needed to figure some things out on my own when I left,” he started, and he only briefly met Buck’s curious and patient but also mildly worried gaze. 

Eddie bit his lower lip and tried to breathe out some of the tension he was feeling. He didn’t know how to say it, how to preface it and ease Buck and himself into what he wanted to say. But then, as he looked at Buck again and saw everything there in his eyes that they both just had promised to each other, Eddie finally found that spark of courage he had needed. 

“I’m gay.” 

He heard Buck inhale and could have sworn he was holding his breath, and he only briefly caught the look of sheer and utter surprise on Buck’s features as Eddie met his gaze for a second. 

“It took me really long to figure it out,” Eddie continued with a stuttered little breath of a laugh as he looked away, somewhere into the darkened living room of the loft. “Or, well…to admit it to myself. I should’ve realized this so much sooner, ‘cause I was never into— I never looked at Salma Hayek or whoever and thought ‘wow, I’d really like to tap that’.” He let out another small huff. “With Shannon, it only worked out because she meant something to me, but I was never that into her. Not like I’m—” 

Like I’m into you , he wanted to say, and he could barely stand to look at Buck, at the gentle sympathy in his eyes that shone so brightly even through his surprise. Something prickled in Eddie’s nose, and he couldn’t prevent sniffling briefly to push it back. 

“Eddie.” It came out as barely more than a whisper, full of that gentleness and care, and Eddie could see Buck move closer into his space from his peripheral vision. Even though every fibre of his being ached for some closeness, he lifted a hand briefly to keep the distance between them. 

There was nothing he could say that would ever ruin their friendship. Buck had promised him that too. Maybe he really just needed to say it, so he could finally let it out and share it with the one person that, after his son, mattered the most. Maybe then, he could finally let it go. 

“You know, we also never really talked about what it was like when…When I was shot.” Very briefly, he looked up to meet Buck’s gaze, finding the echo of the pain that event had brought for both of them clearly etched into Buck’s features. 

“I can’t even begin to imagine what that must’ve been like for you, but for me, when I was lying there and bleeding out, I thought— I thought that was it.” 

He could still remember how, in those moments when time simultaneously seemed to stand still and move entirely too fast, he had tried to reach for Buck, and then everything had just been pain and shock, and blood on Buck’s face and the knowledge that he would die and the earth-shattering fear that Buck might die as well, and it wasn’t just because he was afraid that Christopher would have neither of them to take care of him. 

“And of course I thought of Christopher, but I also thought of…of you, and I selfishly thought of myself and all the things I’d never told you and would never get to tell you because I’ve been such a coward all of my life.” 

“Eddie, no. You’re not a coward,” Buck said quickly but softly, his own breath hitching in his throat audibly, and Eddie barely dared meet his gaze now because he was sure he’d see Buck’s blue eyes wet with tears. “You didn’t owe me—”

“No, maybe not,” Eddie quickly went on before he could change his mind and abort the whole thing. “But I owed it to myself. To be finally honest to myself, no matter the consequences. And then I didn’t die, and I wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell you so much, but then you were with Taylor , and all I could do was just…just give you a fragment of it all. But it wasn’t enough, and I—” 

A hitched breath got stuck in his throat, and Eddie noticed he was trembling slightly. 

“Eddie? What are you saying?” It was barely more than a whisper, Buck’s voice trembling around the words as well, and God, there was really no turning back now, was there? 

“I’m saying,” something between a gasp and a chuckle forced its way out of Eddie’s chest, and he swallowed, breathing in deeply as he — for some surprising and probably irrational reason finding strength in it — looked Buck in the eyes. “I’m saying I almost died, and I never got to tell you that I’m in love with you.” 

Buck's eyes went wide, his lips parting slowly, but other than surprise there was no emotion to discern on his features, nothing that told Eddie whether this was good or bad or something in between. 

"And maybe that's the thing that actually breaks our friendship, but I swear, Buck, I'm gonna—"

"Eddie." 

"—do everything to not make this impact us. That's what I've been doing, and—"

"Eddie, wait," Buck said a little louder, a hand lifted up, his eyes still showing the same surprise, but beyond that something else. Something Eddie didn't even dare try to decipher. "You...ah...you're in love with me?" Incredulity. So much Eddie recognized, but there was something else, something that pulled the corners of Buck's mouth up into the tiniest of smiles. 

"I'm...Yeah. I'm in love with you," Eddie breathed out, unable to keep the words in. 

"You really mean that?" Buck asked again, one corner of his mouth pulling up a little higher. 

"Yes, but—" 

He didn't get to finish his assurances that he would get over it, would do anything to not make Buck uncomfortable, would continue to be just his friend and support him even if Buck started dating someone else. He had a whole list of things he would do to leave this problem be his and not Buck's. But he didn't get to say any of that. Not a single word. 

Buck had crossed the distance between them, and before Eddie could even wrap his mind around what was happening, Buck's hand — gentle, careful — was at the back of his neck, and his lips — amazingly, impossibly — were on Eddie's. 

Even though he'd felt guilty about it, Eddie had imagined what it would be like to kiss Buck. He'd looked at those perfectly lush, pink lips many times and couldn't stop his mind from drifting, his own lips yearning to know Buck's, but knowing (wrongly) he'd never get to experience it. But none of those thoughts and fantasies could have prepared him for what it felt like now. 

Buck's lips were soft and warm, barely moving against his. A small puff of breath tickled on his upper lip before Buck's lips gently pushed against his, and Eddie finally remembered how to breathe. The air was pulled into his lungs with a hitched breath, and when he released it, it came out with a sound between a sigh and a whimper.

Before the kiss could even have properly started, before Eddie could have found his wits and remembered how to kiss, Buck drew away again slowly. But Eddie couldn't let that happen. He knew he should probably say something, ask the questions that were racing through his mind, because none of this made any sense yet. But he didn't speak. He brought his own hand up to mimic Buck's position and pulled him back in, their lips now pushing against each other with much greater urgency. 

When Buck's lips parted under his, Eddie caught a hoarse little sigh from Buck before the tips of their tongues met, and Eddie knew he was completely and utterly gone. He could not get enough of the taste of Buck, of the feeling of those warm, soft lips, and the scent of his skin — a faint trace of his shower gel wafting in every time Eddie inhaled; he never wanted it to end, that moment of total and insane bliss that made him almost feel like his heart was going to explode from it. 

But then the moment did end; Buck was the one to slowly let his lips leave Eddie's although his forehead came to rest against him, and Eddie could still feel the warmth of Buck's breath on his face. 

Finally, with that overwhelming and dumbfounding sensation gone, Eddie's mind caught on. Buck had kissed him. He'd actually kissed him, and all that Eddie could get out was a low, stuttered 'what?'

Buck chuckled throatily, and when he leaned back a little, just his hand now on Eddie's shoulder, his thumb brushing over the skin of his neck above his shirt collar, Eddie could see that his eyes were shining with tears. 

"You kissed me." Eddie said, unable to keep it from sounding almost like an accusation. 

Buck, however, only laughed softly, sniffing. "Uh...yeah. I did." 

"I— but...why?" 

Buck looked up into the air with furrowed brows, a close-lipped grin on his face. "Um...Because I'm in love with you too." 

Eddie could only let out a faint, stuttering gasp. 

The grin on Buck's lips turned into a much softer, gentler smile, and his hand slid lower, just lightly resting on Eddie's arm right below his elbow. 

Eddie still couldn't believe what was happening. "But...you said you— You didn't tell me that you're bi because you didn't want me to think you were interested."

Buck squinted a little, again, looking up into the air. "I didn't say that exactly.”

"But you hinted at it. I mean, you didn't finish it, but you said you didn't want it to get awkward between us." 

Eddie had no idea why he was arguing for Buck having erred here, because he definitely, very much wanted this to be true, but his mind still struggled to make sense of it. 

"Okay, I did, but...I meant that I didn't want you to think that I'd be interested in you. Not that I wasn't." 

And well, that made more sense than Eddie cared to admit. He breathed out a sigh of relief paired with a small chuckle as he shook his head. "I...can't believe this. What are you saying? That you've— What? Been in love with me for what? Months? Years?" 

Buck swallowed lightly, his gaze going down to where his hand rested on Eddie's arm before it drifted lower to tentatively, carefully intertwine their fingers. "Uh, yeah. I mean. Yeah. I had a crush on you at first, and then Shannon was back and I was dating Ali, but after that..." He let the sentence trail off, smiling a little bashfully, and Eddie just wanted to kick himself. 

"God, Buck. All this time, you've— Shit, I'm so sorry." 

The thing was, had Buck confessed his feelings to Eddie sometime between Shannon's death and the whole lawsuit episode, Eddie was pretty sure he'd very much not have been ready for it. He had still been grieving, and deeply in denial, even though those feelings for Buck were there already. They'd been so deep and profound that he'd been even angrier at Buck for leaving because of the lawsuit than he'd been at Shannon when she left him in El Paso, and at the same time, he had forgiven him more readily and easily than anyone else before. The truth was that, even then, Eddie had known there was a connection between them that surpassed mere friendship, but he had not had the courage to name it. 

Still, maybe if Buck had confided in him some time later — sometime before Eddie had started going out with Ana — maybe that could have been the final push he'd needed. Maybe. Or maybe, he'd still have panicked and denied it all. 

"It's okay," Buck said softly, his fingers caressing Eddie's as he smiled down at them, then back up at Eddie. "We got there in the end." 

Eddie huffed out another chuckle, and it was only when Buck brought his other hand to his cheek, his thumb tenderly brushing over his skin beneath his right eye, that Eddie noticed he must have shed a tear or two. 

As much as Eddie wanted to kiss Buck again, what he did was wrap his arms around him and pull him against his chest for a tight but tender hug. And Buck held him too, letting his hands brush over his back as Eddie nestled his face against the crook of Buck's neck. They'd never hugged like this either, and it was like Eddie was overflowing with all kinds of emotions he'd never been able to let himself experience. His heart felt wide and tight at the same time, light from joy and heavy with the residue of the sadness a longing he'd never hoped to fulfill. 

They probably still had so much to talk about, but there was time for that. Plenty of it, and the thought made his breath hitch in his throat and his heart jump in his chest entirely pleasantly. 

As he leaned back from the embrace, he brought a hand up to the side of Buck's face, caressing it gently, fingertips dancing lightly over the contours of Buck's birthmark. He was so beautiful, and Eddie finally got to look at him unabashedly, touch him…kiss him. As he did now, covering Buck's smile with his lips, kissing him patiently and gently but nonetheless deeply. 

There'd be plenty of time to experience a lot of those kisses as well, and that in itself was a fact that was just utterly, mind-blowingly amazing. 

“I’ve been such an idiot,” he said nevertheless, but had to laugh. It barely seemed to matter anymore. 

Buck shrugged slightly and sniffed, his hands now coming to rest around Eddie’s waist. “Guess we’ve both been idiots. I mean…I was really damn convinced that you were one-hundred percent straight. 

Eddie mirrored his shrug. “Yeah well. Same.” 

“Yeah, but you’re even less straight than me,” Buck replied with a small grin. “So I guess I’m the bigger idiot.”

Eddie rolled his eyes up, tilting his head left and right. “Hm. Okay. I’ll let you have that one.” 

It made Buck release a slightly heartier chuckle and punch him lightly against the shoulder. 

“Um, speaking of being an idiot…We’ve been standing here the whole time, and I haven’t even offered you a drink. You… um, want a beer and move this to the couch?” 

Eddie nodded with a smile, and, just because he could, leaned in once more to brush a soft kiss against Buck’s lips before he let him go. 

What they did move to the couch, even though they probably should have talked some more — and Eddie really wanted to do that eventually too — was a lot of kissing. Eddie had roughly twenty years of it to make up for, if you counted from the time he’d first tentatively started getting interested in romance. And while there was so much else that a part of him couldn’t wait to experience, tonight they both seemed to be happy with just that — kissing slowly, softly, sometimes passionately and hungrily until their lips were red and swollen, and until they simply fell asleep, holding each other, with Buck’s head resting against Eddie’s chest on Buck’s couch. 

~*~

When they got to the firehouse on Sunday morning, Eddie could look back on the most blissfully happy thirty-three hours he could remember. They had picked Christopher up from Hen in the early afternoon and gone to the zoo, had dinner together, played video games, and Buck had spent the night.

If you’d asked Eddie half a year ago what the first days and weeks of his first relationship with a man would be like he would have probably pictured something much more cautious, but then again he’d never imagined for it to be Buck — or, well, he had imagined it, just never thought it possible. With him, however, everything just felt so easy. So normal and natural, like they had both just fallen into place, to where they should be — not a ready-made family but one they had been making over the past four years. It felt as if something had righted itself in Eddie’s life where it had previously been off-center, and now he felt happier than he’d ever been. More himself than he’d ever dared to dream.

They were definitely going to take a few things slow, but more so because they wanted to enjoy every little, new step to its fullest and not rush through all of those beautiful little stages. 

“Buck’s gonna stay the night a bit more often now,” Eddie had told Christopher last night without going into detail on the change of their relationship, but Christopher had looked from him to Buck, a little smirk forming on his lips that seemed way too knowing, before he had simply replied, “that’s cool.” And if that meant he’d see them hold hands or kiss here and there, then Eddie was pretty confident it was going to be a non-issue. 

They had also agreed that they weren’t going to try to keep it a secret from the 118. They would have to have a conversation about it with Bobby anyway, though there was no reason to worry. The LAFD generally had a very lenient policy regarding romantic relationships as long as the captain didn’t consider it an issue. And Bobby? Well, Bobby had known how close they were even long before they added the element of romance to their relationship. It wasn’t like it even changed that much at all. 

So, as they got out of Eddie’s truck and made their way into the firehouse, they did not worry about still holding hands. There were none of their teammates in sight yet anyway, and so they got to enjoy this for a little while longer. 

“Ah, look. If it isn’t Bucky Evans,” they heard Chim as he came around the front of the ambulance, having spotted them before they noticed, and, while they did let go of each other’s hand, they didn’t do so in a panicked rush. 

“Good morning to you too,” Buck just replied brightly despite the playful taunt, and Eddie briefly raised his hand in a hinted wave hello. 

But then, Chim stopped in his tracks and the grin vanished from his features as he looked down between them. “Wait, were you just…Oh my god. Why were you holding hands? 

Of course, he had said it so loudly that it alerted Hen, who came down from the loft, her own hands in her pockets and a wide, warm smile on her lips. Unlike Chim, she had known since yesterday, and of course, Buck had told Maddie as well, who had very obviously not told Chim about it.

“Morning you two. Did you have a nice evening?” 

“The best,” Buck replied, still a look and tone of utter happiness, and it made something in Eddie’s chest swell with emotion and smile just as brightly. 

“Hen,” Chim muttered a little helplessly. “They were holding hands.” 

“What about it?” She shrugged just as Bobby and Ravi also came down from the loft. If Hen’s happiness for them hadn’t already moved Eddie, the wide, radiant smile on Bobby’s face as he stood in front of them certainly did. 

“About time,” he said and briefly clapped both of them on the shoulder. 

There was something thick in Eddie’s throat, his nose tingling just the smallest bit. He’d always seen Bobby as a father figure of sorts, in many ways even more than his own father. To get his approval, his blessing , in such a simple, natural way meant more to Eddie than he could have expressed.

“About time what?” Chimney asked, among the four of them the only one who still looked utterly confused. “Will somebody tell me what the hell is going on?” 

Eddie was inclined to just let Chimney stew for a little while longer; it was simply too hilarious how even Ravi seemed to catch on, smiling at both of them, while Chim remained clueless. Unfortunately, Buck seemed to have a different idea. 

“Well, let’s just say, hot actor and all as he may be, to me, Chris Evans has nothing on Eddie.” 

Eddie let out a breathy chuckle, shaking his head softly at the rather sappy compliment. But then, he heard a snort from Hen, and as he brought up his gaze, he found her, Ravi and Bobby all looking past Eddie and Buck towards the entrance of the fire house, various looks of amusement and surprise on their features. 

As Chim’s head snapped around, Buck turned rather slowly, and Eddie followed their gazes, not believing that he’d find who he briefly considered might explain their reactions. He was wrong. 

“Wow. Should I be offended?” Chris Evans asked, a grin on his lips and a playfulness in his tone that clearly told he wasn’t. 

Nevertheless, Buck inhaled deeply and muttered under his breath, “Why does this keep happening to me?” 

Hen just let out another soft snort, while Eddie brought a hand up and briefly placed it on the small of Buck’s back in a comforting gesture. 

“You’re early,” Bobby said with a friendly smile as he walked over to the actor and shook his hand. 

“I definitely didn’t want to leave a bad impression on my captain.” 

“Okay. What is going on here?” Chim asked softly, just as confused as he’d been about Buck and Eddie. 

“Not the faintest,” Buck replied, his voice having gone a little hoarse, this time, however, clearly from embarrassment. 

“Everybody, say hi to our newest team member,” Bobby said, the grin on his face telling that there was something more to it. Nevertheless, that part didn’t seem to get through to Chim and Buck who exchanged an open-mouthed look of utter confusion. 

“At least for today,” Bobby finally added and clapped Evans briefly on the back as first Hen, and then Ravi came forward to shake his hand. 

“Mr. Evans here—”

“Please, it’s Chris,” he interrupted Bobby.

“Okay, sure. Chris here reached out to the fire department and made a very generous donation. His condition was that he’d get a tour around the firehouse. I offered he could ride along if he was up to it.” 

“And I definitely am!” Evans — Eddie was not going to refer to him as Chris in his head — said with great enthusiasm. “This is really a childhood dream come true, Captain Nash. I cannot thank you enough.” 

“Ah!” Bobby said, lifting a finger, “It’s either Bobby or Cap. Though…that was one of your aliases too, right?” 

Evans chuckled slightly and shrugged. “Yeah. I think I’ll call you Bobby, if it’s all the same to you,” he said and then took a step closer towards Eddie, holding out his hand. 

And yeah, maybe Eddie had been a tiny bit jealous, and maybe a very small part of him still was, but the greater part of him knew he really had no reason to. And so he shook the offered hand and smiled as he introduced himself. 

“And we’ve already met, but good to see you again, Buck,” Evans said warmly, shaking Buck’s hand too, who, this time, seemed to hold it together a bit more and at least got out a mostly coherent, “Hi, yeah…uh…you too.” 

“Did you already give your boy the autograph?”

Buck swallowed briefly and cleared his throat before he answered. “Yeah, I did, but…he’s not actually my son. He’s—”

“I’m his father,” Eddie interjected, but then he looked over at Buck, a warmth settling in his chest and a small smile finding its way onto his lips as he placed his hand on the small of Buck’s back. “But in many ways, he’s Buck’s kid too.” 

And yeah, maybe he was playing a little dirty, because he could practically feel Buck melt to a puddle at that and knew it solidified the fact that Buck would only have eyes for him. But it was definitely also the truth. 

“Aww, that’s great. He must be so happy and proud to have two firefighter dads,” Evans said with genuine admiration. “But I was asking because I got him something a little better than just a piece of paper. I met with Scarlett for dinner last night, so we both signed a Captain America shield. I have it in my car.” 

“Wow, that’s—” Eddie huffed out a surprised little laugh, for a moment not quite knowing what to say. “That’s really very kind of you. He’ll be so happy, you have no idea.” 

Evans made a waving motion with his hand and shrugged, as if it was nothing. Then he turned to Chimney, whom he also hadn’t formally met yet, and shook his head. 

“Howard Han, but everybody calls me Chimney. Or Chim.”

Evans squinted slightly. “That’s an interesting nickname. You gotta tell me how you got that one.” 

“Sure, I’ll tell you later,” Chim said. “It’s a bit of a long story, though.”

“Alright everybody,” Bobby called from a few steps up the stairs, “time for breakfast. Buck, Eddie, go get changed. You can come up, too, Chris. In this house, we always have breakfast together if we can. We can see if we can at least find you a spare LAFD t-shirt later.” 

“Wow, that’s awesome. But…do you have any vegan options?”

“We sure do,” Bobby replied. “I can whip you up an eggless mushroom and onion pancake if you like.” 

“Really?” Evans asked, visibly impressed. “You cook here for everybody? Wow. I’m not sure I’m gonna want to go back to my job after today.” 

Bobby just laughed softly and made his way up the stairs, and Chim followed suit. 

Just as Buck and Eddie wanted to quickly head to the changing rooms, Evans shook his head and muttered, “I could really swear I know that guy from somewhere.” Not elaborating on it, he quickly jogged up the stairs as well. 

“Okay, I’ve got to hand it to you,” Eddie said as they reached the changing room, “he really is pretty cool. And decent.”

Buck shrugged faintly as he quickly slipped out of his jeans. “Yeah, well. Looks and all aside, he’s not the best Chris, though.”

“Oh? Then who is?” Eddie wanted to know. “Hemsworth? Not Pratt, right?” 

Buck shook his head as he quickly put on his uniform pants, a warm smile on his lips that made Eddie want to kiss it off his face. 

“No. Diaz, of course.”

And yeah, alright. So Buck knew Eddie’s weaknesses just as well as Eddie knew Buck’s. He definitely deserved the searing kiss Eddie pressed against his lips.