Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Being reborn was like finding two yolks in one egg.

Fun fact: I hate egg yolks.

I heard the nurses fuss over me worriedly, probably wondering why this newborn wasn't screaming. I was in shock, okay? There was a blur between my past life and this. A blank space of muffled memories. I was drowning in the realisation of my rebirth and the following despair. I had no time to mindlessly scream like an infant while I could sulk in nihilism-

Actually, you know what? Screaming sounds like a good way to vent all of this.

I screamed.

I stared, unimpressed, at the writhing, laughing baby besides me. He had more hair than head, and four perfectly placed freckles on each cheek. Midoriya Izuku.

Then I stared at the beaming mother that held me, then at the neutral-faced black haired man peaking over her shoulder. 

He blinked at me, and I blinked right back.

Midoriya Inko and Midoriya Hisashi. Please do not let me be the result off her egg and his sperm.

I was not. 

I was arguably worse.

My reflection stared back at me, looking as unimpressed as I felt. Ever since catching sight of a red hair strand, I'd hunted wildly for a mirror.

I looked abnormal. Deep, glossy red hair that fell to my chin, eyes with golden irises and golden pupils. Well more accurately, it was a golden ring, then a black outline, then another golden ring, then a tiny dot that may or may not be my pupil. Makima? Hybrid between Shanks and Mihawk? 

I could pinpoint what I got from who: my colouring from my father; my hair type and facial features from my mother.

...My father was not Midoriya Hisashi, yet I was twins with Izuku. Was that possible? So... half-siblings? Fraternal half-sibling twins?

I wonder who named me. Midoriya Kitomi. It was such an uncreative name: the 'Ki' start for 'yellow' or 'gold' mixed with the name 'Hitomi' meaning 'pupil of the eye'. Then again, there was literally a surname of 'lightning' in this universe.

What would my nickname even be? Kit? Mimi? Like a cat? Kito- Kido- Kiddo...

It had been a few months, and I found that my pride was worth more than staying normal. I could not just wet myself purposefully. (At first the lack of control was humiliating and startling, but I'd gotten a grip on how to function semi-normally now.) Not to mention the breast feeding... I felt uncomfortable just thinking about it.

I felt a little bad because Inko freaked out a little at my lack of 'baby-ness'.

I found that Izuku was just too happy as a baby, and I realised that I will most likely love him as a person sooner or later. Right now, I was still in shock. Izuku was still the 'protagonist' inside of my head, not a drooling, screaming infant. 

I sighed and Inko patted my head nervously.

"Nawww," The woman- Katsuki's mother- switched tones faster than I could blink. She leaned down and shoved her face into Izuku's and mine. Izuku squeaked. I huffed. The woman cooed more. "They're such cutie, wittle babies. Do you remember me, little Izuku-chan? Kitomi-chan?"

My mind was scrambling to piece together the Japanese, but after a beat, I shook my head once, making the woman's red eyes widen. 

"Why Inko! You've gotten yourself a genius child, have you? Not yet a year old, and she's already smarter than Masaru!"

"Mitsuki!" A plain-looking man cried.

"Sorry dear. Anyway, Inko, look here. It's my baby darling, Katsuki! Doesn't he look so much like me?"

I stretched my neck to peer at an awfully angry-looking baby. There seemed to be a scowl etched into his features, brows in a wide V-shape, mouth angling down, and eye corners pulled upwards. ...This was... Katsuki. Bakugou Katsuki. As a baby. It felt strange; I suppose I really had to adjust quickly to this.

He made this noise, halfway between hissing and growling, at me, pointy grin in place. It looked just like his mother's grin though he didn't have teeth. I wrinkled my nose.

"Oh my!" I heard Mitsuki giggle. "Look at them two, hitting it off so quickly! I bet the three of our children will get along great."

I think of Katsuki telling Izuku to commit suicide, and I hear another one, from my previous world- The blurred memories shake in my mind and refocus. I cast it out of my mind quickly and hold back the urge to laugh sardonically; it was irrational to care about the unchangeable and irrelevant past, yet... 

I shook away the thought. 

Oh, but I do- I do loathe Katsuki.

It's not to say that his development didn't make sense, or that it wasn't expected for him to become that way. I wasn't saying it was entirely his fault, and I've liked worse people than him, but- It was just that one scene that sealed the case. That one scene... I wonder how much more I'd hate Katsuki once I see it come to life.

I dozed lightly as I waited for their idle chatter to end.

"-She isn't Hisashi's, is she?" Mitsuki's voice was unexpectedly low and serious as I felt the slight breeze from her arm gesturing at me. Air was snatched from my lungs as I tried not to show a visible reaction.

Inko sighed tiredly, "Mitsuki... Why do you ask? It's obvious, is it not? That hair colour, the eyes... I- I had been afraid of this happening, but... It had just been one night!"

"Akihito." She said in realisation. "...I haven't known you for all that long, Inko, but I didn't think you're the type of person to do, er, that."

"One night stands?" She exhaled softly. "Yeah. I'm not, but Mother had- Mother had pushed about this for so long. To get married, I mean, because I'm old. I was told that I had a week. A week, Mitsuki! It takes weeks to plan one, yet she wanted me wedded before then. To Hisashi, a family friend's son."

"What not to do but spend your last few days as a bachelorette at the bar, hey?"

"...I'm not sure whether or not I regretted it. I don't even remember his face properly, or even if I'd said 'yes' or not." Inko brushed at my hair. "I only remembered wavy, bright red hair, tan skin, calloused hands, and a cheerful voice. I remembered his eyes because who wouldn't? They were just like Kitomi's, golden and piercing-"

But why did it sound like-

"-They scare me a little, Mitsuki."

...And after then, I stopped listening because, within that quiet admission, I heard: she scares me.

My first words weren't celebrated like Izuku's were. She treated it more like I was getting out of my 'quiet and shy' phase rather than an infant finally learning one of the basic human abilities.

By the time Izuku had said his first words, I was already as fluent as my motor functions could allow. I told myself I shouldn't take too much heed; it was a logical reaction to be unnerved. I still didn't talk much because it would be bad for Inko's heart.

(But to disregard a negative response meant to blind myself from positive ones. I should've known that before I took a metaphorical step away.)

I could understand Inko's lack of spine upon meeting my grandmother. She held a fierceness within her that terrified even me, beady eyes, curled lips... It wasn't her appearance really- only her temperament, like a pulled elastic, a ticking bomb waiting for a chance to explode.

She was bad news in the first place: what sort of grandmother would wait an entire year and some to visit her grandchildren? Hisashi had stayed for the birth at least, and I knew- from overhearing- that they were on a 'deal' of sorts where Inko would raise the children, and he'd raise the money, and they could both live their own lives separately. I wonder what she'd think of it- the woman who'd set it all up.

"Grandmother." I'd greeted calmly with a lack of better things to say.

Inko had been a shrivelled form besides me, curling into herself, head bowed, knees weak. Izuku, seemingly unknowing of her blatant distaste of us, had babbled in 'hi's and 'hello's and offhanded comments that I could never say myself. It would sound stupid coming out of my mouth.

I'd stared up at her in challenge, almost, when I'd felt her eyes on mine. Dark grey, matched with sleek emerald hair, cut to her ears. After a beat, the woman had blinked and averted her gaze. She had not replied. Her eyes had not been warm.

I didn't care because it was irrational to. What point was there in caring for someone who didn't care about me?

And now I sat idly in the bland, empty room. Izuku was fiddling with the carpet mat, and I was eavesdropping.

'Devil child', I heard whispered. 'No wonder your husband left you.' 'Is she even Hisashi's?' 'That fluency... How off-putting. It's like she isn't even a child.' 'And her eyes... Those eyes...'

'A child born with blood for hair and yellow eyes, and looks nothing like her parents... That's a child of a demon.'

I had no good expectations for this woman in the first place, so I was not hurt by her accusations. They were mostly right anyway: I was a child with memories of a past life, my eyes were unsettling to look at, and I was indeed not Hisashi's child. If I was religious, perhaps I'd even agree with that demon-devil nonsense.

I was, however, irritated by Inko's response, if it could even count as one. Shaky breaths and watery tones and the 'I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I'm sorry, Mother, I'm sorry.'

What sort of mother apologised for the existence of their child?

I decided, barely two years old, that I did not like this family.

Izuku was an exception though.

I spent basically my entire life so far besides him. I'd endured the stench of vomit and tears and excrement along with him. He'd enchanted me with some baby sorcery by clinging onto my side, and holding my hand. He caused a burst of unfamiliar fondness within me. I'd lived a lonely quiet life before, and I'd never known or wanted company before him.

He made me realise that I would not ever want children, but he also made me realise that they were adorable.

I wanted to protect him. I decided I'd live this life to protect his because what other purpose did my existence hold?

I did not want him to become the protagonist of My Hero Academia.

I did not want him to become the Hero of such a filthy society.

I wanted Izuku to stay smiling like that.

It wasn't that Inko wasn't a caring mother; I knew she loved me, I knew she loved Izuku.

She held a warmness to her that drew her to me. Endearing, gentle, kind. The presence she radiated was similar to Izuku's, and opposite of mine.

She just lacked the competence to be an acceptable mother. She had no spine, cried in front of her children, did not help us develop any sort of solid moral compass. She couldn't hold solid eye contact. I heard her meeting regularly with Mitsuki, doubting her abilities to raise the two of us. To raise me as if she even needed to.

'At least she knew' was not a valid enough redeeming quality. I felt bad for her, sure, but that feeling of pity directed towards her made her a failure of a decent mother. Especially at this young, impressionable age, she shouldn't be projecting her personality flaws onto us.

I used to fear the times my mother cried- detest the natural feeling of helplessness when such a superior figure, an immoveable pillar in my life, crumbled. ...But in this life, it was just the norm for Inko.

'At least she cares' was... was good though. A good thought.

"I mean, girls do mature faster than boys, they say." Mitsuki told her one day. "Is Kitomi-chan the older twin?"

"No, Izuku is, actually." Inko replied. "She is the dominant one though; she's physically fitter than Izuku by a long shot."

'That,' I thought dryly, 'Was because I capitalised on my boundless amounts of energy.'

I stretched and ran to and fro every opportunity, feeling adamant on being as fit as possible when I grew older. I needed Izuku physically fit as well because in the off chance that he does not get the One for All Quirk- which would screw over the universe- he'd need to at least know self-defence. 

Izuku was... Izuku had found out recently that he was older, and he'd rambled on and on about how he would be my Hero and how he would always protect me. It was sweet, like watching a child proclaim that you'd be the 'bestest of best friends forever'.

I was trying to get him to tone down on the Hero obsession though; the grip it had on him was... disturbingly tight. Our room was slowly filled with more and more posters and figurines. His wardrobe changed, his word choices changed... His search history and internet suggestions...

"Smarter and fitter." Mitsuki hummed approvingly. 

"Don't say it like it's so well, Mitsuki." Inko said softly. "Kitomi doesn't get along well with other children. I'm wondering whether or not I should take her to a psychiatrist."

"Psy- What?! For her intelligence? It might just be a side effect of an early Quirk development or something!"

"I'm pretty sure Akihito's Quirk was sight based because I'd asked about his eyes, I think, so I doubt it's that. And she'd just- she was always a bit different from others. You know when she was born, the nurses told me she didn't scream until after a full minute of silence."

"...I find that comedic more than anything else, to be honest-"

"Mitsuki!" Inko cried exasperatedly. "But it isn't just that. She catches on things too quickly. She seems so... capable that I feel useless in comparison. And I think she even knows I feel like that! It's terrifying..." 

Well, I did before, and if I hadn't, then I did now. I should stop eavesdropping, but they really made it easy for me. I ignored the feeling that came from those last two words.

"I don't think she sees the other children as peers, more like... how a game player would look at a chess piece."

I pursed my lips; I did not think that way about other children- they were too useless to become even a pawn. At least a pawn had potential.

"Hmmm, you make her sound very unsettling and slightly mastermind-villainous, Inko. I'm sure it's not that."

"It isn't that," She agreed. "I know Kitomi isn't a bad child. I think she just has trouble... socialising."

I felt my nose wrinkle. She'd insisted on going to this mother's 'play group' or something where all the local children got together in clubs or something. I disliked it immensely. It was loud and overbearing. I got stared at and pulled at like a doll. I got backhanded comments on my 'unique appearance' all the time.

Of course I would stay sullenly quiet. Of course I would glare. Of course I wouldn't bother maintaining an act of childishness to appease their expectations.

"Mommy calls you a 'bastard child'."

"Tell your 'mommy' to watch her language."

"It's like she's always watching me... And she's so quiet as well."

"It's like she's plotting to kill us or something."

'At least gossip quieter.'

"Why do you talk that way?" 

"Why do you not?"

"Ewww, what's wrong with your eyes?"

"Why do you think there is something wrong with them?"

"They're so creepy." A kid had sneered as if he didn't have an older brother who could elongate his eyeballs like a snail.

"If you want to become a Hero, you should learn to control your reactions."

That wasn't 'trouble socialising'- I was not insulting them. I was giving them genuine feedbacks, and I truly wanted to know how narrow-minded they had to be to avoid me because of my appearance.

"I've heard." She snorted, "But the problem ain't in her, I bet, cuz my Katsuki gets along fine and dandy with her, doesn't he? He always boasts on behalf of her, saying that she's the only one who can keep up with his 'superior' self and everyone else he hangs around with are 'extras' that he can't bother playing with."

"E-Extras?"

"Pfft, Katsuki really comes up with the best insults when he's ranting on the dinner table."

On the very first play group day, Katsuki had been the star of the group, extroverted and loud. He dragged Izuku right along with him because their Hero obsession really made them click. Not a few minutes later, he'd narrowed me down as the only one who could keep up with him intellectually. 'Keep up' as if I didn't hold the memory of someone matured already.

Katsuki had seen me as a challenge at first. He'd always seen how I solved the baby puzzles instantaneously and wanted to beat me. Katsuki was the only person I ignored solidly at first. The other children would say strange things- insults, maybe- to try and get a rise out of me. I would at least grant them a response- a bit of advice and hope that they wouldn't continue to be as irrationally foolish as before.

I didn't know how to respond to Katsuki.

I could see his problems- the seed planted within his mind. I wanted to sneer at him, but that would be unreasonable. He was a toddler, and I was mature. This Katsuki wasn't the same one as the one who'd bully Izuku. (But perhaps in a year I could see that though.)

My mind twisted his innocent words into something malicious, and I'd see the worst in his naturally sharp smiles. 

I did not respond to Katsuki, simply trailing after Izuku, pretending to 'rely' on him when I was actually monitoring him. Monitoring them.

It turned out that I shouldn't've been worried about Izuku. He was the 'angel' of the group, kind and caring and righteous. It wasn't the same group as shown in the manga flashbacks- It was a larger group, probably before they split up. In this group, Izuku was their only 'safety net' next to the 'dangerous' Katsuki. They didn't know he was Quirkless, so it wouldn't make sense for them to bully him when Quirks aside, his person was amazing.

I should've been worried about Katsuki.

He was disliked, I realised, because the girls found him scary, and the boys thought he was mean and had a villainous personality. They wanted him to like them, but they themselves didn't like him. I didn't get how I never realised. Those sideways glances, the trembling fists, that fake laugh after Katsuki demands them of something.

It was ironic, but after realising that Izuku was the only one who truly cared for Katsuki... I felt bad.

It was true that his personality wasn't exactly charismatic, but they were all just toddlers, so how could they be so... horrible? It was difficult to pinpoint why I thought that way, but I was constantly unsettled by their interactions, feeling as though I was watching far more than what should be an innocent children's playdate.

He took falls, and everyone would loom over him like they were waiting for him to show vulnerability. He never did, but I... could see emotions within the eyes that I'd thought were feral. And perhaps Izuku could as well.

And then afterward, I'd started to try, and responded to him.

"I see..." Inko nodded with a nervous edge to her tone.

It was obvious to me that she didn't want me getting too close to Katsuki from her constant insistence on hanging out with the girls. It wasn't that I enjoyed spending time with Katsuki; I was just taking a bet. Fixing his complexes seemed more important than appeasing Inko's timid fears.

He had been so triumphant at that little success- of getting me to reply to him- ironically granted from the thing he utterly loathed: pity. Izuku had been ecstatic that his sister and his best friend were getting along, deciding that just because I didn't give him the cold shoulder, we were The Trio of top Heroes, and... you guessed it: 'best fwends for life- but 'Domi's diffewen' cuz she's my sister, but we tree are still super duper close!'

As if. It was just mild entertainment to me at this point.

It was almost funny accepting Katsuki's challenges because he'd throw fits and whine when he lost, and accused me of cheating because he beat every one of his other friends and there was no way I could be so good at them. At baby games.

My mouth had been pressed in a flat, passive line. I'd stare at him, completely unimpressed, and he'd flushed bright red in embarrassment before stomping away as loudly as a toddler could. (This reaction then became something common.)

I began to provide the lacklustre barrier between my brother and him when they interacted, the level ground between the fumbling, shy Izuku and the prodigious, bold Katsuki. I didn't even need to talk to them- only cut in when it was necessary. Usually, I would absolutely hate being used like this, my only purpose being to keep them both in check, but it was ultimately beneficial. I could cut down Katsuki's superior complex down from it's roots, and prod Izuku forward a little more.

Manipulating two toddlers was simple, even if it did rub against my pride a little.

It eventually became my only motivation to go to those mother meetings. Play groups were a waste of time, and I feared that it wouldn't be long before Izuku would realise that I was pointed out at for my strange appearance. For him, it was just normal that I had red hair and yellow eyes in a family with green hair and green eyes. I didn't want him to get that 'overprotective brother' stance on me now.

Katsuki had noticed something was weird- like a jigsaw puzzle that didn't match, but he chalked it up to- "Kitomi will probably have a super cool Quirk if she looks so different from you and Aunt Inko."

I do hope so. If there was one thing I absolutely despised, it would be irregularity. A lack of certainty or stability.

I knew that Quirk and Quirkless discriminations were a big thing here. It would be annoying to have an entire life skewered off tracks just because I didn't have a supernatural ability. Strength was always a need in every world; more so in this one where Villain attacks occur weekly. To have a lack of strength would mean balancing your entire life based off luck.

Based off uncertain chance.

My face twisted at that idea.

The problem was... Did that mean that I had to become a Hero? Being strong meant the possibility to get scouted by the Commission. Being strong meant expectations. What if a Villain attack occurred and I couldn't use my Quirk because I didn't have a license?

My thoughts fell silence and for a few seconds, I could just hear my silent breathing and the distant ticks of the clock.

I was going to turn four in about 7 months. Right now my priority was information, then after I turn four, I would have to train my Quirk, or train something that could replace it if I didn't have one. Once my body developed more, I would train physically as well as with my Quirk. Then when I hit my teens... I would choose a Hero school unless I was Quirkless.

Not UA. 

Definitely not UA. There were other ones: Shiketsu, Ketsubutsu, Seiai... 

I would just get my license, go underground for a while before I'd retire from an excuse. There weren't any laws against Quirk use if you had licenses that weren't active. After then, I'd live my life calmly and normally, far away from where all the plot-driven events occur. I didn't care for All Might, or Class 1-A, or even the characters that I liked because in the end, they were characters.

And I was living an extra life.

This life was already fraud; I would not care to cut this one off because it was an inaccuracy already.

Midoriya Kitomi was not meant to exist. A second yolk found was a surprise- unexpected, diverging from a pattern, and pleasant or unpleasant depending on the person.

"Yeah," Mitsuki slapped Inko's back. "So you don't need to worry, Inko!"

Chapter Text

I knew something was wrong as Izuku began doing strange things. Inhaling deeply and spitting out air. Reaching forward and grabbing onto nothing before pulling so hard that his body would flip on itself.

It must be because Katsuki's Quirk had awakened. He was praised endlessly on that day, even when he wasn't present. Those irritating teachers: they really went out and told the class that the flashier Quirk, the better for Heroics. Seemed like they weren't qualified for their job.

He had so many people flocking around him that I couldn't even give him a half-hearted reprimand to ensure that he wouldn't become as despicably arrogant as in the beginning of the series. It was that day when it'd all started...

Though in a different sense, Izuku probably thought the same.

"Nii-chan," I addressed him in the morning, only because 'Aniki' was too rude, and 'Nii-san' didn't suit him. "What are you doing?"

"D-Domi!" He exclaimed in his squeaky, high-pitched voice, and I took note that his lisp had started to fade a bit. Before it had been a 'half' D where he more like pronounced 'Omi'. Now it was a hard sound, crisp and clear. It seemed like it was a habit for him to call me 'Domi' now, even though he could speak pretty well and could pronounce the 'T'.

"I was- uh- you know, just testing out my Quirk!" Izuku said loudly with a shaky smile. "You know, Mom has a 'pulling' Quirk, and she told me Dad had a fire breathing one. I can't wait to find out what my one is!"

Ah. It was that. He'd been trying all last night in the darkness then.

I opened my mouth to say something cutting- something to restrain that irrationally optimistic mind of his: 'Don't get your hopes up too high.' 'Forcing it out won't do anything.' 

"Why do you want a... cool Quirk?"

"So I can become a Hero!" 

Said with all the joy his little body could muster. I felt my chest twinge and I gripped onto it, startled. Izuku was going to become a Hero, I knew it. ...I knew that the tearful boy with dark bags and red eyes and burn scars littered across his puny frame would get One for All.

...But this-

"Nii-chan," I said, feeling urgent for some reason. "Why do you want to become a Hero?"

"To save people." Without hesitation. Without doubt. Without falsehood. "...Don't you want to be one? Domi never talks about it."

"I... I don't like how the Heroes think."

His eyes narrowed, and I felt more fear at that little gesture than standing in front of my grandmother. "You... don't like..."

"I-I mean," I stammered, panicked. Why did I just say that? Intricate things like the politics, the social norms, and internalised, Hero-branded rock bottom self-respect were things I shouldn't bring up to Izuku. "I... I want to be the Hero for you and Mom. I don't want to die out there and leave you alone. I want... Nii-chan to be safe."

The look in his green eyes warred for a moment, confused indignation making his boundless affection stumble, and this time around- the first clash of the two emotions- affection won and he gripped my hands with a radiant beam.

"I want Domi to be safe as well!" He patted my head. "Don't worry! We'll both become super duper strong, and become the best Heroes together! Then you won't worry too much, right? If we're together forever?"

I smiled but my eyes felt uncomfortable, hot, "...Yeah."

-Inko-

She pushed off the wall silently as she headed back to the kitchen. Izuku had gotten her appearance, her meekness, and her softness, but Kitomi had gotten her quiet love, fierce protectiveness and concern.

She felt inappropriate amounts of relief at Kitomi's words though; Inko did not want to be the mother of two deceased children.

Her mind wandered over to Kitomi, her daughter. As close as one would expect them to be, Inko actually didn't know much of Kitomi.

She had been scared for her at the time of her birth. She was healthy, yet she didn't appear like an infant- not her demeanour. 

This never changed and it was only after her mother pointed it out that Inko realised she was really different... and it might be bad. She had always been rather frightened of her eyes- too sharp for a child, too old. She wished, with all her heart and soul, that Kitomi could have the eyes of a carefree child.

Her mother pointed out her strangeness, whispered 'devil child' and it felt like her blood had frozen in her veins.

Because she had not, even with her precious child insulted, felt the need to stand up against that.

She could only shake her head in confusion, in denial, in self-hatred, and chant- I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. 

Inko could not refute her words because she had thought the same, admittedly. Not in a way that her mother did, but she always did view Kitomi differently. Amongst her old neighbourhood, there had only been people with shades of hair ranging from red-brown to dirty blonde. Inko had been the strange one, a foreigner with green hair of all things.

But that red seemed otherworldly, and her eyes did not seem like one of a mere human's.

Kitomi had not changed much after the visit, though sometimes she stared harder at Inko than usual. It was like she was trying to read her mind.

She was otherwise like how she always appeared to be: unusually silent and still, like she was in a constant daydream, drifting in her thoughts, but then completely unsurprised, never startled, when someone interrupted her haze, and would simply turn to them with a blank face, half-lidded eyes that looked too apathetic for a mere toddler.

And how she talked- Her voice held all the smooth and beautiful tones of her father, and it was meshed with Inko's own songlike voice, one of her rare prides. But Kitomi's way of speaking dampened it, like a wet cloth over a candlelight.

She spoke blandly- without inflections- and her voice seemed mostly emotionless, and if there were emotions, they were hardly positive ones. 

It was never raised, nor whispered, nor cracked. It was one eloquent passage, like a never-ending étude until she stopped.

Then Inko would be too stunned, too preoccupied with trying to unravel her words, to even realise that she was waiting expectantly for a reply.

Izuku was a sole exception to this treatment. Not even her own mother was. Then again, what affection was truly shown between the two of them? Kitomi never asked to be picked up like Izuku, yet she wouldn't protest if Inko did anyway. She was just letting everything roll by at its own pace, passively observing them with a judging eye.

Inko felt clumsy, helpless, stupid in front of her own daughter. Yet she knew that apologising for it wouldn't help anyone.

-Kitomi-

"You're tagging along again? " Lackey 1 with tiny red wings sneered as he caught sight of me. "Katsuki, tell this creepy girl here to get lost!"

"Hah? Why should I?" He turned around to look at him. I nibbled on my ham sandwich in a circular motion as I stared at the group.

It was like a line of ducklings. Katsuki, Lackey 1, Lackey 2, Lackey 3, Izuku, then myself. 

"She's a girl!"

His eyes narrowed, "The Bakugou Hero Agency can have female members as well!"

"No," I interrupted, spying on a patch of trees that could make adequate covering. I peeled off the bread and chucked it into my mouth. "I'll go." I should've begun testing for my Quirk ages ago, but I liked the security of privacy.

His red eyes then turned to me, slightly accusing. "Scared off so easily? I didn't think you were such a wimp."

I rolled my eyes and Katsuki and co. bristled. "I just thought Lackey 1, 2, 3 were lacking in entertainment. See you around maybe, Katsuki. Bye, Nii-chan."

Without waiting for a reply, I headed towards the deeper parts of the area, veering off the walk way. I ate the second bit of bread, leaving only the ham, smeared with a bit of butter. I flexed my hands, thinking about what my Quirk could be. Apparently my father's had got to do with the eyes, but I couldn't see in any way that was noteworthy. My mother's was 'Attraction' with the unofficial addition of- 'of small objects'.

I glanced around, staring at a decent-sized rock with awkwardness. This felt really embarrassing. What was I meant to do? I made a grabby motion, trying to mimic Inko's motions when she used her Quirk.

...The rock didn't budge.

I felt my cheeks flush, and I was already prepared to quit in humiliation. I shoved the ham into my mouth. It wasn't the failure that hurt- It was the agonising process that got to failure anyway. I'd watched Izuku try to manifest his Quirk; it looked like he was trying to dance hip hop. Did I have to do something as excessive as that as well?

A sharp bark snapped me out of my thoughts, making me blink in surprise. I turned around slightly and felt my heart leap to my throat when I saw an enormous dog bounding towards me. I scrambled away instinctively, not understanding why it was chasing me. Had I wandered into a territory?

That feral looking thing- Why was it so fucking big? Were dogs always that-

I broke into a full-on sprint as it continued, not even a few seconds later- unable to even gain the slightest bit of distance- it leapt towards me, mouth wide open, and I felt my throat constrict. It was stupid and illogical to close my eyes and turn away when there surely would be a way to resolve this, but I couldn't help it. Fear was irrational, after all.

I could feel the hot stench of its breath before something sharp clamped on my arm, shoved defensively in between myself and the dog. I let out a strangled cry, kicking out my legs and trying to yank myself away.

Pain ripped down my arm, chilling me for a moment before it burnt. My eyes snapped to assess the damage, but I was met face-to-face with its head. 

Adrenaline flushed through me anew, and I thought, panicked, desperate, confused, scared- 'Get away from me! '

And the world around me shook, a blast of invisible force pushing out from around me. The dog was hurled into the trunk of a tree, and it bounced off with a loud thud that made me wince.

After a few moments, I felt shudders run through my body, my food swimming in my stomach. It whimpered, and I heard a distant voice behind me calling incoherently. The dog took a few tottering steps in the voice's direction, in my direction and I felt fear seize me again, like a chilled hand on my throat.

'Stay,' I thought wildly. The dog was barely a metre away from me, teeth visible in a hostile snarl. 'Stay by the tree. Please.'

A growl drew out of it, so much louder, so much scarier than I remembered dogs to be. My mess of a mind tried to clear up and sort out what'd just happened, what this ability could be, but it seemed like my Quirk had its own ideas as well.

The bark of the tree, the head of the dog-

Stay by the tree. 

-And a sudden, invisible hand seemed to grasp on its head, and yank, a terrifying, agonising keen leaving its throat before it cut off as I watched its skin tear around his neck, causing bursts and rivulets of deep red to stain its coat.

...Well-maintained coat. And- that was a collar. This was someone's pet and I'd just-

The body collapsed in a wet thwup, head half torn off, in a growing patch of dark brown grass.

I didn't have the chance to react as I heard the voice coming closer, "-Where are you? Jeez-" 

I shakily stood up, but my knees were weak beneath me. I felt my breaths becoming choppier as the voice neared more. I began to scale a tree, having a thoughtless idea that maybe it would be easier than running. Then I began to hear pounding footsteps on hard dirt, and I felt my foot slip on a branch. 

I instinctively grabbed at nothing as I stared, completely done with these chain of events, at a branch near the top of the tree. 'If only I could reach it-'

I did. I think I had a vague idea of what my Quirk was now.

And I idly wondered what I should focus on first: what just happened, my Quirk, or the twelve year old boy that rushed into the clearing with a scream, crying over his mutilated dog without a care for the blood sullying his clothes and skin.

(Stay calm.)

And so I did.

I tried to climb back down after they left with a bunch of professional-looking people taking the carcass away, but my arm throbbed in protest and I dropped straight onto the floor, ignoring the spike of pain in my ankles. It was all dulled, slightly, probably from the adrenaline and the exhaustion. I walked home in a limp, fresh blood probably blending with my hair colour. 

I threw up then collapsed, unable and unwilling to answer any of Inko's worried questions.

-Izuku-

Domi woke up the next morning with a fever. That's what Mom said. Her face was bright red, and she looked really uncomfortable, face shiny with sweat, reflecting whatever little light she could tolerate.

He'd come home the previous day to smell sourness by the entrance. Mom was washing a towel and was panting like she'd ran really hard. Finally, after she was finished doing whatever she'd been doing, Mom had looked angry, down at him. 

"Izuku!" Her voice had been like the crack of a whip. "Did you leave Kitomi alone yesterday? She got hurt so badly!"

But... Domi was the one who needed the least protection out of the two. Izuku knew he was bad at a lot of things, but he wasn't that stupid. Even though he liked to say he would always protect Domi, Domi was always the one who seemed to take care of him.

Maybe... he was wrong. Domi always said that she felt better being closer to him, so maybe Izuku should've been a better brother, and kept her safer. As soon as she was alone... something bad like this happened!

He'd overheard when Mom had been on her phone- some cut on her arm, and a broken foot! Izuku had never gotten so badly injured before, and even Kacchan had only sprained his wrist before.

Domi had always been calm and quietly confident, but that must've been because Izuku was with her. Izuku wanted to be a Hero, yet he couldn't even protect his own sister!

He felt his eyes begin to drip with tears as he blabbered out apologies. Izuku was no good. He wasn't as smart as Domi, or as strong as Kacchan. Maybe if Kacchan was with her, this wouldn't've happened. After their big friend group turned into little ones, Kacchan always did dangerous things. He was... cool like that. Powerful and strong.

That's how the neighbour kids began to follow him.

He could walk, head high and smile wide, into anything, and conquered whatever he met. Kacchan could do the things that Izuku couldn't. ...What if Kacchan was the only one who could protect Domi, and Izuku couldn't?

-Kitomi-

Exhaustion from what was probably Quirk overuse, a fractured ankle, and three lacerations that would leave a scar. The doctors told me I was lucky none of the canines got me.

I told them getting bitten at the age of four wasn't lucky at all.

I dreaded Inko's reaction. I didn't remember when she took me to the hospital. I was especially anxious about the dog incident; I'm pretty sure it was a crime to kill another animal- especially if it was domestic. And would that be counted as illegal Quirk use?

What was it anyway? It seemed so dangerous- 

And my thoughts stopped right there, honing in on that word: dangerous.

Quirk discrimination was very... volatile in this world. Some areas ostracised 'villainous' Quirks more than others, and some areas are extremely opinionated, so their dislike of someone was based on their own judgements.

It didn't matter if my Quirk was just used in a bad way accidentally, it mattered that my Quirk could be used in a bad way.

I let out an annoyed sigh; wouldn't faking Quirklessness be better? I mean, I didn't trust the fact that some people weren't assholes and would see even 'villainous' Quirks as how they are (tools), and it would be better to be underestimated than being feared. 

Or perhaps just fake a different Quirk for now? An intelligence-based Quirk? Or just saying it was a very minor and barely noticeable Quirk? I just wanted my guaranteed peaceful life, damn it. 

-Katsuki-

He frowned when he realised Izuku wasn't trailing behind him like usual. "Hey Tsubasa, where's Deku?"

"Oh, I heard that he was staying at home because the creep got sick."

"Sick?" He repeated. "Kitomi?"

"Yeah, she apparently sprained her ankle as well." The other snickered. "We told you so; girls are just weaker than boys."

Katsuki's frown deepened. "No they aren't. Kitomi's better than you. Shut up."

Because Kitomi was a person he had yet to beat at anything he challenged her with- at anything she could bother to reciprocate. (She didn't respond to taunts like 'are you scared?' like other children anyway.)

And if Kitomi was weaker than Katsuki... that would pull him down as well. If someone ever insulted someone who'd beat Katsuki, they were insulting him.

Though every reminder that she'd beaten him pressed against his pride- and that annoyingly serene expression on her face, like Katsuki was nothing but her little toy to amuse herself with. It flashed before his eyes, as if mocking him.

Katsuki had remembered the strange way she always stared at him- She used to ignore him and it grated at his nerves, his pride- his feelings.

Katsuki was used to beating everyone. Even his Quirk, just manifested, was 100% better than everyone else's. He was just unquestionably the best, the top of the top. Everyone agrees as well.

...Apart from Kitomi. The Kitomi who beat him. The Kitomi who thought she was superior. (She'd stared at him behind all those clambering extras, unsettling eyes like a hypnotic illusion telling him- They're wrong, they're wrong, they're wrong-)

The Kitomi who was superior in some ways that made Katsuki seethe. (She'd skipped a stone six times, and it was one less than Katsuki, but the stone she used wasn't flat at all.) The Kitomi who thought she was above competitions. (What? because she knew she was better already?)

Kitomi was the one person he had to convince, but everyone else told him her opinion didn't matter because she did not matter. As if.

That was the worst thing about it: no one even praised her like they praised him. They called her creepy for being smart, scary for being silent, a bastard child for having different looks- but so what even if she was a bastard child?

What does that even have to do with her beating him? He wouldn't accept something stupid like he wins because he was born from married parents.

That being said... how were the Midoriya twins so different? Their hair colours reminded him of Christmas, for one, and while Izuku looked dorky and plain, Kitomi looked like she came from a family with demon Quirks or something like how the adults say.

Hair the shade of blood. Eyes like those scarier birds- seagulls, an eagle if the picture books were right. Although her other features were close enough to Izuku's, he supposed: same round eyes, same button nose, same mouth though the words that came of them both were completely different as well.

He got why she was called a creep. But he didn't get why they thought it was such a good insult: she was still superior.

Katsuki harrumphed as he turned away, "Whatever. Let's go."

-Naomasa-

"Detectives still do idle cases like this, you know?"

Internally, he continued- 'Not that it was very 'idle' considering the brutality of the Quirk usage.'

"Ah." She said simply, eyes moving from him to her hands. "What a pain."

He laughed, wondering how a four year old knew such a phrase. Her mother, Inko, certainly didn't seem like the type to complain or swear at all. Naomasa opened his mouth to ask a question, carefully planning out each word to ensure that the four year old didn't find anything suspicious when she interrupted-

"Detective Tsukauchi-san probably has a lie detector Quirk right? It was obvious from your alias: True Man." The girl settled back into the hospital bed, drawing the covers up again. "Well, don't beat around the bush. I did not know my Quirk. I used my Quirk for the first time when the dog attacked me. I was under the belief that the dog was hostile. I did not intend for the dog to die."

He felt his lips tilt upwards at the monotone droll. His Quirk did not alert him of any falsehoods. "But you did intend for the dog to be harmed?"

She scowled, breaking the impassive- if not mildly annoyed- look on her face.

"I don't know, Detective," She said, words cutting and dry. "Try being the size of a four year old runt then have a dog barrage towards you like a freight truck. Of course I intended for the dog to get the fuck away from me."

Naomasa squashed the urge to snicker; it was more hilarious coming out of a child who was still half baby fat. He instead, chose to raise a brow because she hadn't exactly answered the question. Normally, cases like these were generally solved simply and easily, or written off as an accident, and this was no exception, but-

"Oh. Her." One mother had said, a little warily. "Heavens know why a Detective is asking about her, but let me just give you a heads up: Kitomi-chan, you see, she's always been... peculiar."

But there was the probability that this child was psychopathic. 

She certainly fit the bill for it: disregards general social behaviour, ignores (according to some personally offended mothers) the emotions and 'rights' of other children, was scarce to show remorse, failed to relate to her peers, seemed easily bored...

She didn't seem to care much about the dog or the owners, not displaying much panic or guilt. Sociopaths were becoming more and more frequent as Quirks developed; perhaps it was because of the evolution theory: the 'humanity' of people were slowly dulling as power was starting to dominate their minds.

The Darwinist society was slowly eroding the sympathetic nature of humans; survival of the fittest didn't care for that.

The girl glanced at him, "I don't like hurting animals, but hell like I'd rather get chewed on." True.

He hummed in understanding, "Well, there isn't much you need to do as this falls under the Quirk legislations."

"Oh good," She perked up, "So I won't have to go to any sort of detention or something?"

"...No." Naomasa blinked at her, "You're... four years old." Apparently the age factor didn't deter her doubt much. "...Many incidents occur because of accidental Quirk usage as a result of manifestation."

"Well thank that, I guess." She then closed her eyes. "Bye Detective."

...Was this a tick on lack of respect? Narcissism?

"Er-"

"Oh joy, more questions." Her eyes opened and turned half-lidded in what was either tiredness or irritation. "Fire away, Detective."

"What would you have done if you were charged?" Just being blunt cast away half his issues already.

"I would have been upset-" True.

"Over what?"

"Over my dream being hindered." True.

"Becoming a Hero?"

"Cruising through life." True.

"Do you wish to become a Hero?"

"I plan to become a Hero." True.

"For what reason?" 

She glanced at him with doubt, "...I dislike possibilities of downfall. Becoming a Hero comes with perks. Are you questioning me for the incident, or because you think I have ASPD?"

He didn't even twitch, but she sighed, "I thought so." Then she opened her mouth and-

"Accidental as it was, my DNA was probably scattered all over the area, but even then, there are really only children that wander there. If you found a piece of hair, it would've been obvious who it was considering I'm probably the only redhead in this local area. You'd just need to find out why I was there, but I feel like you clumsy adults would sooner ask the parents than the children, or get information from the children via their parents. Seeing as how they can't mention me without tagging along a word of 'weird' or something, you'd probably get suspicious of my mental stability. Then there's the thing where I can't lie, or act for my life, so who even cares? It's actually very handy for me that you were the one to interrogate me because of your Quirk because lying is just too much of a pain. I can't say anything reliable on my state of mind because I know it's different from others, but I can tell you right now what you want to know: I have zero intention of becoming a Villain or Vigilante unless it's my last option. The fact that it's an option alone could draw suspicion, but screw this. I just want to have a peaceful life with zero drama. I want to live far from the city, alone, because Nii-chan is definitely going to become a Hero, and Mom would definitely stay right besides him. I mean, right behind the TV screen, drowning in used tissues and worries. I want to have a Hero license so the law doesn't screw me over for practising self-defence when called for, and I want to be adequately strong so Villains also don't screw me over. I would prefer to die by old age for the sake of my brother and mother's mental wellbeing, and I will be entering my emo phase very prematurely to tell you that, though I dislike the irrationality of humans and their annoyingness, I will do my utter best to serve this society until I don't have to. Please do not send me to the asylum, or the Hero Commission, and let me keep my dream somewhat intact. It doesn't appear I am off to a good start considering at the age of four, I have already landed myself in the hospital, and am currently ranting to a detective."

Naomasa... likes her. This kid was interesting! She was the kind of person that he wished for; succinct, blunt, intelligent, straightforward, no-nonsense... Made his job a lot easier.

Usually dealing with children meant having to ensure their comfort, appease their guardians, making sure they don't run their mouth... Now all he needed to do was tell what she just told him to the dog owners, and seeing their rather gentle temperament, they'll probably just let this incident run by.

"...I'll take note of that." He nodded, as if she hadn't just spoken an entire essay. "I advise you participate in Quirk counselling howeve-"

"No thanks. Unless they're you, they wouldn't help."

Aw, he felt touched. "Then visit me at my station if you need help."

She tossed him an entirely unimpressed look that had him wheezing. "Could you not register details about my Quirk for a while? I'm avoided as it is, and if someone realises I... killed a domestic creature, that would... suck."

"Ah... children. Humans. Pieces of shits." He said eloquently. "I'm obligated to register information, but you yourself must update it. I must mention that it was an unintentional Quirk manifestation to the owners, but I'm not obligated to reveal your identity as it isn't considered an actual crime. The parents however... may realise or connect the dots eventually."

"Oh, true." She narrowed her eyes, and Naomasa braced for tears or frustration, but she simply tsked. "Well anyway-"

'Well anyway'?!

"While I still have the audacity," She then continued after a pause. "Could you help me figure out who my biological father is?"

"...Huh?"

"I don't even know whether or not I can do this, especially since you aren't even a private investigator, but if you have time on your hands..." She gave a lopsided, sorta-shrug. "My mother met him before she moved here, so that would be the Mie Prefecture. His name is Akihito, and I got both my hair colour and my eyes from him. He most likely has a sight-based Quirk. Thank you. Bye, Detective."

She shut her eyes, and Naomasa stared at her weirdly before he shrugged.

"See you around, Kitomi."

-Kitomi-

Izuku came back from the doctor's appointment with unseeing eyes. 

"Ni-"

Inko gripped at my shoulder, pulling me away.

"Mom?" I asked quietly, "What's wrong with Nii-chan?"

She sat me on the kitchen counter so that I didn't have to crane my neck so far up. "Kitomi," And her voice was low and serious. "Izuku... You see, Izuku... doesn't have a Quirk."

Inko was studying my face carefully for a reaction, but I didn't know how to fake one. I couldn't act. I couldn't lie. I could only stay silent and keep my face blank.

"Oh..."

I had a feeling Inko was disappointed in me as she gripped my shoulders, bending down. "The doctor said that Izuku had an extra toe joint compared to 80% of the population and that- and that the people with Quirks nowadays are considered a new evolved species. Kitomi, do you understand?"

"Yes, Mom."

"Kitomi." She said desperately, grip firmer, but still gentle. There were tears in her eyes. "Izuku... Izuku can't become a Hero like this! Izuku is-"

"Nii-chan can't become a Hero." I agreed, "But he will be."

And 'will' was a thousand times stronger than 'can'.

I pursed my lips as I stood to the side of the chair, angled enough to glimpse at Izuku and the screen. The lights were switched off in our room when I returned, the blaring computer screen providing the only light. Inko was facing the door, unable to stare at the pile of bloodied bodies as usual. Her hand was gripping at her chest, her face twisted in pain as she glanced back at me, at Izuku.

He was perched on the chair. Usually he'd bob his head, or do that ridiculous little jump, the full body sway. He was always like that, so full of energy.

Izuku simply sat, rigidly going about his movements. He hadn't even acknowledged me or Inko.

My chest twisted and I made a hurt noise; Izuku would get One for All anyway. Why did it look like he'd given up on himself? I thought protagonists were all about believing in themselves to the point of irrationality, to not be pitied because they were stronger than that or something stupid, something cringeworthy.

Where was that? Where was all his enthusiasm behind that dead gaze? Why did he look so-

"It's fine now."

I hadn't watched much of All Might, but he was shown everywhere in public, all over the TV screens, all over the news, all over Izuku's search history. I knew his voice, but hearing it, blaring so loudly in this bleak room, I could understand how Izuku could find comfort in it. How Izuku could find him as the light in his dark world.

"Why?"

His voice was rock steady, as confident as he appeared to be, as strong as he proved to be. (But then look at himself in the future: when he crumbled, so did the world around him, and that was wrong, so Izuku shouldn't be wanting to emulate All Might- shouldn't be using All Might as his only motivation-)

Izuku shouldn't have to suffer through this. He wasn't actually going to stay Quirkless for the rest of his life. Some people actually would, so why was he looking like that-

"Because I am here!"

There is a quiet 'click' as Izuku paused the video, All Might's smile radiant on the screen. It was such a blaring contrast to the three of us in the room, stifling silence draping over us.

"Mom... Domi..." I latched onto the sound of his voice, frail as it was, weak as it was. "H-He saves everyone with a smile, no matter what trouble they're in... He's such a cool Hero."

The chair cluttered as he pushed himself to face the two of us aimlessly. I took an automatic stumble back at the movement, and Izuku didn't stammer and panic over the movement as he usually would've. Inko seemed hesitant to move forward as her shoulders hunched higher.

I stared at my brother's face, the look of despondent misery. Tears trailed silently down his cheeks, and it felt like something pierced my chest again. I furrowed my brow. Something about his suffering hurt. I knew that he would become a Hero. I'd- I'd watched this, read this, and it felt... strange seeing this. 

Such a delicate, raw emotion on his face. It hurt me. I wanted to tell him that he can become a Hero. I knew he could.

Even without knowing the manga, I knew he would become a Hero.

Because that was... who Izuku was.

"Can I..." His arm was shaking, his smile was hollow, his eyes were empty of hope. "...Be a Hero too?"

It felt like he himself didn't even believe in that anymore.

Inko let out a sob, and she rushed forward, "I'm sorry, Izuku!"

Her voice was full of sorrow, full of a mother's love and a mother's pain. I could hear it in the cracks of her voice, the strain in it. My throat felt like it was sealed up as I was swept into her embrace. Her hands were like claws on us, protective and desperate. All this time I had thought that I didn't fit in, appearance wise, personality wise- I wasn't even a Midoriya. 

Her hands were like claws on us, and she held onto me just as tightly as she held onto Izuku. I didn't know why that hurt me so much- why I loved that so much.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"

I couldn't say the things I wanted to say then because my lips were pressed tightly together, and my face was pressed into my brother's side.

-A week later-

I stood over splintered branches, shattered rocks, crumpled plastic water bottles, and twitching insects, half dead, half on the verge of. 

I felt sick to the stomach. (It was overuse, again.)

I'd determined that my Quirk was a telekinesis one like Inko's, but it had a vision factor like my father's.

The easiest comparison would be magnetism. A positive charge and a negative charge, one pulling to the other.

How it worked was that I needed to establish a 'Centre Point', and a 'Target Point' within my direct vision. The Centre Point was where the Target was being drawn towards or repelled.

This depended on two ways I could use my Quirk: 'absolute' or 'relative', 'absolute' being the area I designate, and 'relative' being a specified object where the Target Point remains the same.

An Absolute Point is a general area where there is a single wave of indiscriminate force of either push or pull. 

A Relative Point was a specific thing. It could be adjusted depending on my focus, from an entire person to a single limb on their body. I could target liquids as well, though it was extremely difficult.

The worst thing about a Relative Point was that my focus had to travel with the point, otherwise my point of view's focus would waver, and the ability would cancel.

I suppose a practical name for those two would be 'Stream Mode' and 'Pinpoint Mode'. Without names, I wouldn't be able to easily organise my thoughts, so might as well just call it whatever I thought of.

There were two things that allowed this Quirk to activate: the first was my own body's abilities. If I overused my Quirk, I would suffer backlashes from it, explaining my few days of high fever after the manifestation. 

Stream Mode drained my stamina the most, though it was easier because of the second thing: concentration. The Quirk could only come to effect if I was focusing on it.

I had the range of my vision to assign the two points which was very far, but I found that it was the easiest to assign myself as a Point (it didn't actually require vision either) as compared to a rock five metres away where I got a throbbing headache from trying to focus on it.

The closer the Target Point is to the Centre Point, the stronger the force was. It was... like a black hole? I wasn't exactly a physics person, so I only knew the basics of force. I'd have to be very meticulous when using this Quirk because it could turn dangerous very quickly- for others and for myself.

Did Quirks usually name themselves? Because I had no clue what to call this. I hummed, thinking for a second before shrugging- it was invisible, and it caused an effect. Invisible Effect. 

That was practical enough, but not so inaccurate as 'magnetism', or obvious as compared to using the words 'force' or 'pull' or whatever. 

-Naomasa-

"Detective Tsukauchi, someone is requesting your presence."

"Oh, thank you." Naomasa dragged himself up from his chair, wondering who was-

"Detective." He trailed his gaze downwards and met gold eyes. "I need help."

"Oh, you actually took upon my request!" He smiled, "Well first of all, your biological father's name is Mitsumeru Akihito."

"That was quick." She raised her brows.

"With the information you gave, it was easy to pinpoint him, taking less than an hour's time." He waved off.

Mitsumeru Akihito, age 35, Quirk: 'See All', occupation: bartender. He had few immediate relatives registered, unlike his first and only living cousin: Uraraka Aiko, who'd married into a large family with a daughter Kitomi's age.

"Mitsumeru, huh... How practical."

"Lots of names are so, these days." He chuckled. "So? What was it that you need?"

"Oh." She went still. "My brother's depressed. He's Quirkless. What do I do?"

Chapter Text

-Kitomi-

Being Izuku's younger sibling irritated me to no end.

I couldn't even convince myself to stand down because it was for 'character development' or whatever. Izuku being bullied contributed nothing to anything but his personal suffering.

And I only added to it. I had never really been a comfort for him, just another responsibility, another burden, and another reason for him to think lowly of himself.

Especially because I was related to him so closely, my reassurances and arguments fell mostly on deaf ears. He took it as pity, as what I said to try and make him better because it was my 'sisterly obligation'.

I still tried.

The reaction I generally got was the phrase 'thank you ' paired with that bittersweet expression. It made me sad and angry for no reason.

No matter if Izuku could read people and their emotions as well as he could pinpoint traits in a Quirk, he was still an unknowing, innocent child in the end. He was still prone to child-like awe and idolisation, and he was still confused and scared whenever a realisation of his situation hit him.

Then he was hopelessly optimistic at times, daydreaming of what could happen, for someone- other than myself- to acknowledge him and bring forth an incredible power within him. If I hadn't known that plot would eventually hit, I would have smacked that naïve, pathetic ideology right out of his mind.

Izuku was too scared to seek for that. He didn't want to budge, or face what he was trying to ignore. The filthy world enveloped him like darkness fighting to swallow a firefly.

And alongside with his deeply buried optimism, Katsuki, it seemed like, was his light at the end of the tunnel.

'Katsuki and Izuku were rivals', or... 'Katsuki saw Izuku as an equal'. Were and saw, but Izuku didn't know the subtle implications of this use of 'past tense' yet.

Izuku had a belief that was so obvious that I could read his mind as he simultaneously thought those thoughts: 'If I'm friends with, or if I beat Kacchan, I would be a Hero too.'

I could see it. I'd slipped back into Katsuki's group quietly, observing the subtle shifts in power. Katsuki's dominance made Izuku awe more not less. He seemed more determined than ever to catch up to him. And Katsuki...

It wasn't as obvious as in the manga- it wasn't so simple as an action and response. Katsuki's gradual descent began with the glare that was a tad too hostile, the snarl of anger that sounded too guttural. His little 'hmph's turned into full blown growls, weaving within his speech pattern almost subconsciously. 

Izuku was still chasing, still chasing, and whenever I'd pull on his sleeve to try and slow him down, he'd simply tug me along with an insistent look on his face. He couldn't lose Katsuki and he couldn't turn away from Katsuki because Katsuki embodied his finish line.

Katsuki was his way to cope. 

And an unbidden thought would rise, no matter how many 'thank you's were uttered, or how many hugs I received- I did not fit into Izuku's dreams.

I was just... there.

"Well, I'm not very good at this, but 'just be there for him'... is all I can think of. Quirkless people nowadays are just feeling threatened and isolated."

"I was always there for him." True. But then she paused, as if figuring out whether or not what she just said correlated to what he meant. "But I don't have that sort of comforting presence." True. "I can say that, but Nii-chan won't believe it like I do." True.

"Hmmm, well I would say 'be happy and carefree', so that you don't become a part of his stresses, but I feel like you aren't the kind of person to do that eagerly."

"We've spent little time talking, yet you know me so well." She looked mildly surprised, but more comically unnerved.

Naomasa laughed at that, "There's a reason why I'm a detective, you know."

"Nii-chan, don't follow after Katsuki anymore." I finally said one day, fed up when Katsuki violently rejected him. Katsuki wasn't often violent- in fact, he rarely teetered on the line of 'rude' towards Izuku for now.

It was just the casual acceptance that encouraged Katsuki. He could call Izuku 'Deku' and no one would tell him it was wrong. If Katsuki slapped away his hand, or constantly one up him then call him useless, no one would stand on Izuku's side.

Izuku would grip my arm warningly, and then shake his head to tell me not to speak. And I wouldn't. So not even I could change anything.

"He doesn't like you."

I felt like I was that one embarrassing mom of a bullied character. I felt ashamed, and hurt on Izuku's behalf. I didn't know why he was rejecting my help, why he was rejecting me. I wanted to help, but I feel like I'd make matters worse.

"...I know."

"Then why do you keep following him?" I asked, exasperated. "Chasing after him even though he keeps shoving you away. He doesn't want your help! Can't you see?! You care so much for him, but he doesn't want that care! "

"I- I can't not." And if that didn't sum up Izuku's entire life. 

"Yes, you can." I insisted with an almost pleading tone. "Just get up and walk away. Ignore Katsuki! Who cares if he might've hit his head when he fell? Certainly not Katsuki, so-"

"But no one does." Izuku's voice trembled as his eyes flooded with tears. "N-None of Kacchan's friends think that way-"

"Katsuki's 'friends' only like him because he's the top dog. They don't 'think that way' because they don't give a damn about him!"

"Isn't that lonely?" He murmured after a few beats of silence. 

That's what he focused on?

"He wants to be Number One, doesn't he?" I felt my eye twitch. "Don't you think so as well? That being at the top means being alone?"

And Izuku... couldn't say anything to counter that. He could only dodge around it, or accidentally paraphrase what I'd said. He couldn't argue against that because whether he knew it or not, he embodied that belief. 

But it didn't matter if he couldn't respond to that because Izuku was still not convinced.

"Leave him be." "You shouldn't have to deal with him." "Stop trying. It's not going to help you."

Izuku somehow managed with his words, telling me that it was admiration, respect, and it was his own way of being a Hero, and every single time I try to say but Katsuki's wrong he would manage to get things his way. I didn't understand how I couldn't win against his arguments anymore.

It was like- speaking to a brick wall. There was something wrong with his mind. He justified anything Katsuki did wrong, and he explained- explained! Like I was the ignorant one- that Katsuki was just superior. That Katsuki was like that because he had the right to be.

He stated it firmly, more confident in that than he was in his answers to Inko's questions about dinner. 

I felt like Kacchan was more important than me. His name alone- not even his presence- was more than my opinion, than the few times I heatedly argued for something.

"You don't understand-" He'd always say, and I'd had to bite my tongue on the 'listen to me, listen to me, LISTEN TO ME-' that wanted to come out.

Katsuki was his way to cope, and even if I told him that was bad, he still couldn't let go.

I felt my arms move before I even knew what was doing, shoving Izuku away from me. My face scrunched up in an uncalled wave of irritation-

"Fine! Do what you want then!" I yelled angrily, my throat burnt at the raised voice-

"Keep chasing your stupid Kacchan."

-and it cracked, ugly, on the last word.

(I couldn't fix this mess of a relationship.)

Izuku had shuffled in besides me at night, rustling awkwardly in the tense silence. He was breathing very haltingly as if he felt the urge to hold his breath.

"Sorry..." He mumbled. "Are you mad at me?"

I felt my will waver already. I flipped to face him and stared into his remorseful face. "Regardless of my feelings, you'll still follow Katsuki, won't you?"

"Don't use that voice on me." Izuku whined. "It's scary."

I stayed silent, not letting the automatic 'sorry' come out. 

"It's just... I've-" He sniffled, and I felt my panic rise immediately. "It's just that I've already lost Kacchan a bit. I- I know I've lost Kacchan a bit, but I don't wanna lose you too-" Izuku let out a sob and I felt all my willpower crumble like sand. "I- I dunno what to do, b-but I'm sorry, so don't b-be mad. Please?"

Child, my mind reminded me. He was a child. (But I was one t-)

"I'm not mad, Nii-chan." Well, at least I wasn't anymore. "I'm sorry."

Izuku fell silent, sniffing after a few seconds, "...Don't say that. D-Don't be like Mom and me and say 'sorry' so fast because you're... different. Domi is strong, and- and it makes me strong too." As much as I made him feel weak.

"But I am sorry. For making you pick between Katsuki and me." What sort of decent sibling did that? And he already had so much to deal with... Whenever I tried to fix things... I really just made it all worse, didn't I?

"You didn't make me pick anything." Izuku replied instantly, face blotchy as he scrubbed at his eyes. "Because Domi isn't a 'choice', Domi is... Domi is always there."

"Always there?" I echoed, a little confused.

'There' seemed to be a very annoying word. I never understood it. I used it in a bad context, Tsukauchi used it in a positive context, so what did Izuku mean?

"Don't you- Don't you get it?" Izuku asked frailly.

Frail. And weak, and innocent. He really thought he could protect me.

"I'm sorry," He said again, more tears swimming in his eyes. "Sorry you think that- you think that I'd ever pick anyone instead of you. Sorry I never told you that I want to be your Hero before anything else, but I- I'm so bad at this." He hiccupped. "Wh-When Mom told me that I was the older one, I just- I just wanted to be someone you could look up to, but I'm just this usel-"

But in a way, he did. He did protect me. 

"Nii-chan's stupid." I told him. "You're already my Hero."

And even if he wasn't, I still wouldn't let Izuku call himself 'useless'.

"Other textbook answers for bullying would be: inform an adult- but at your age, I'd have to be honest and say that-"

"It wouldn't work." She cut in, not seeming the slightest bit surprised. 

"...Yes," Naomasa nodded. "Perhaps confront the bully?"

"I highly doubt that would work." She smiled grimly. "Katsuki knows- I think- that I'm protective of Nii-chan. He won't pay much to my words in his defence."

"You shouldn't dismiss it so quickly. There would also be the choice of telling him to stand up to himself. Remind him of his own rights." It definitely felt weird of him to say that to a literal child though. "Otherwise he'll slowly slip into a perpetual feeling of inferiority."

"...I think he already feels inferior. Katsuki seems 'far more superior' to Nii-chan and it's hurting them both. ...Nii-chan still adores him, and I'm hesitant as to say I could sway his judgement on that. Nii-chan does try to stand up for himself, but... that doesn't work."

"Still tell him anyway, and he'll learn to listen to you next time."

"...What if he still ignores me?"

Naomasa gave her a strange look, wondering why she was so adamant on that secondary security. At that age, he'd expected twins be super close, or at least trust each other a lot, yet she's acting as though she was the odd one out between their duo. 

At that, she expanded- "Children have irrational minds. Very temperamental, easily influenced, react when their surprisingly large prides are touched. Nii-chan already feels threatened by me because I'm also doing better than him in some aspects. I doubt- for his 'brotherly pride', that he'll bite his tongue and listen to me even if he sees past his- I don't know, delusion."

How eloquent. Naomasa was theorising that those parents felt less so that she was 'creepy' and more so irked that a child spoke smarter than they.

"You have a point."

That being said, while the whispers of those parents still lingered in his mind- on top of the doubt he felt towards her peculiar nature, he felt a hint of fondness, of doting. He felt bad for this 'Nii-chan' already, knowing of Toshinori's past and self-destructive traits, but he also wondered what type of kid he was to let such a disconnect occur between him and his sister.

Naomasa ruffled her hair with a soft, sad smile. "Well, then-"

"I-It's fine." He smiled, eyes rubbed raw. "Don't hang out with Kacchan's group anymore."

I hadn't for a while, ever since our last conversation about this. I just decided to let their relationship run its course. I wasn't anyone big or powerful- I couldn't change their relationship like I thought I could; I would just be Izuku's sister, 'there when he wanted me to be'.

Still, I asked- "...Why not?"

"Because Kacchan's friends are mean."

I frowned, wondering why this would suddenly happen when I'd (temporarily) given up on persuading him. Then I noticed a smear of dirt on his chin and frowned.

My expression was probably obvious as Izuku suddenly turned away, stammering something, but I stopped him, yanking on his wrists as harshly as I dared, face dropping in horror as I saw the bruises on his arms, the stained and dirtied clothes that had been hidden in his hunched posture.

A scene happened in which Izuku defended a kid Katsuki was going to bully, and thus got bullied himself.

"Well, then he'll learn that you're right the hard way."

"Kacchan and his friends..." And it sounded like a realisation, as if I hadn't practically screamed it into his ear for so long before. "They hurt other people."

Now that Izuku didn't hang out with Katsuki anymore, he was basically a loner, drifting towards to isolated areas that I spent my free time in.

It made hiding my Quirk harder than before. And yes, I had hidden my Quirk for longer than I expected. Izuku never brought it up, so it was easier for us both. The teachers would ask, of course, and so would Katsuki's friends.

'What's your Quirk?' 'I bet Deku's creepy sister doesn't have one either!'

It only took a meaningful stare to get them flustered and confused, wondering if they'd said something wrong. It was still stupidly easy to read the thoughts I could provoke-

'Had she told us already?' 'Was it on her file?' Even thoughts like- 'Is she keeping it a secret for some reason?' 'Was that a threat?'

I managed to avoid them all the way to my fifth birthday- Not saying that as in I got found out, more that I'd then asked if I could stop going to kindergarten.

Inko dropped her groceries in shock, making me cringe. Inko and her irrationally dramatic reactions. 

"Mom," I gritted out uncomfortably. "Didn't you say you went to buy eggs?"

I'd noted it because it was a rare occasion when they ran out. I guess now I had to studiously watch our food for any of that deplorable substance.

"Kitomi." She ignored me as her fingers dug into my shoulders. "Kitomi, why don't you want to go to school? Are you being bullied?"

I almost laughed at that. Would she change much if I said 'yes'? I didn't see much of Izuku's bullying because I was- thankfully- in a different class, but I knew from the looks some children would cast him that he was definitely bullied in some way, shape or form. 

"No, I am not." I reassured her confidently. Then I frowned, recalling what actually happens at school. ...At least I didn't feel bullied. "The teachers treat me like a child. My classmates are overbearing. The few productive things we do irritate me. Intellectually, I'm qualified for middle school at the very least. Let me be home-schooled." 

It was far cheaper if she 'taught' me during her free time. Inko worked a part-time as a librarian, but otherwise our family just received money from Hisashi. It was a win-win. I just needed to know more about Japanese and Quirk history, and I was done until university.

"Kitomi," Inko says, more gently this time. It reminds me of when she calls Izuku 'baby'. Soft, mushy, made my chest feel like some virus had invaded it. There's still a crease between her brows, and I wouldn't be surprised if she got wrinkles and grey hair soon; she seemed stressed enough to shave decades off her life.

"School isn't all about intellect, okay? I want you to socialise with the other children your age. I want you to make friends, and be happy."

"...I'm friends with Detective Tsukauchi-san." I said nervously. "And Nii-chan is the only kid my age I'm willing to tolerate."

Inko stared at me intensely, trying to find out something I didn't know. After a few seconds of tense silence, I started to shift anxiously. If she disagreed... I was almost willing to become a 'troublesome student' to escape their inanity.

If I tried hard enough, I could remember doing clapping and singing games in my previous life, but they were attached with feelings of glee or childish triumph, even nostalgia or light-hearted silliness. None of that was present when I had to hold back a look of disdain when a teacher asked me to do that stupid song and dance.

In fact, much of my past 'life' seemed foreign to me. I ignored it. Never dwelled. It was simply an extra slot of memories, tucked far away from my reality. That was the most reasonable way to treat it.

"Fine." Inko sighed. "I'll let you stay at home, but whenever you change your mind, just tell me, okay?"

The corners of my mouth lifted slightly and after a beat, she smiled back, wearily.

-One week since-

"Nii-chan." I said. "Nii-chan-"

"What is it, Domi?" He asked blearily. I narrowed my eyes at him; Izuku lied the worst in the mornings.

"How-" I hesitated. "How is Katsuki treating you?"

Izuku's face instantly twisted into an almost-scowl. He could never fully frown at me without wincing in guilt. Still, I felt a flash of anxiousness. "It's fine, Domi. You don't have to worry about me."

"...I will worry." I replied haltingly. Was it not obvious that I would worry? "I'm your sister."

"My younger sister." He corrected before smiling brightly, patting me on the head. "Thanks for worrying, Domi, but Nii-chan can protect himself! I'm strong after all!"

I slid besides him and listened to his steady breathing. I sought for his hand, and gripped onto it tightly, scared for something. "Okay."

He hadn't answered the question.

Just be there. Be there. Be there-

While I felt chronically unmotivated to actually train, there were actually times that I wanted and committed to progress. This was because I'd much rather prefer one day of productivity rather than little bits of productivity spanning weeks.

It hadn't taken long for me to map out how to train my Quirk, even if it was briefer than what would be expected: I'd had a time where I was super excited about Quirks as well. Efficiency meant less time spent after all.

The first step had been identification: it had taken over an hour to place down the main aspects of my Quirk.

The second would be activation: practising how to assign 'Points', and how to adjust my focus quickly. This step was invisible to everyone but me, making it something I could do all the time.

It appeared as a... dot, almost. A size-varying, sort-of-transparent-but-not-really, colourless dot. Both 'Points' appeared so, and if both Points were assigned, there would be a line connecting the two dots, meaning that I didn't have to worry much about predicting the direction.

The third would be accuracy: the second step, but more headache-inducing- literally.

Distance wise, vision wise, concentration wise- I had to know how to pinpoint. It threw me off because it was like a bad case of hyperfixation. The edges of my vision would darken, everything but my focus point would blur, and I'd feel blind, deaf, helpless before my panic would snap me out of my Quirk use.

Then after those two steps would be the second aspect of my Quirk: the actual force of pull and push. 

Within that, the fourth step would be commanding the amount of force that pulled or pushed, and calculating the changes in acceleration that occurs and the relation between distance and force of attraction or repulsion.

I had to fine tune my Quirk every single time I activated it.

And doing all that while having to hide it- 

Well... that subconscious decision of mine was troublesome, but not irrationally decided.

I studiously hid my Quirk, training only when I was certain no one would see me because Izuku's lack thereof was scrubbing down hard on his esteem. He desperately wanted, in any way possible, to be superior to me because he was the older sibling.

I could not think of any way he could best me in his current situation. Apart from things like 'determination', or 'motivation' perhaps. But if there were any, I doubt he'd care for them. Izuku was still human after all, and was victim to the human mind's natural way of pessimistic thought processes- singling out what he lacked instead of what he already had. 

He wouldn't linger at all on his achievements because what he actually wanted far outshone them. My own helplessness irritated me. I couldn't do much in fear of Izuku feeling bad, and I couldn't help Izuku's low self-esteem either. I didn't know how to change that. Oh, but right- I had decided to stop changing things.

(Frankly, it bored me- sitting still; it rubbed me the wrong way for some reason.)

He wanted to be my Hero, so I played the weak.

-Two weeks since-

"Nii-chan, is school stressful?" It was a vague enough question. I should be able to deduct what I'd like from his response.

He frowned at me- still managing to be gentle in that expression. "School is always stressful." He seemed to automatically respond before he turned red from panic- "I- I mean, school's meanta be stressful, y-you know?"

"Do you do sports?" I glanced at his dust-covered knees, and took that opportunity to try and scan for any bruises. There were none. (Small mercies, because he was wearing long sleeves and it was 25 degrees.)

"Ah... yeah."

"What sports? I might get too weak if I don't do it too." 

"Er, running."

"Oh." I said mildly. "Okay."

I ran.

Even after my muscles were feeling numb, my heartbeat was all I could hear, and I felt hair plaster to my forehead from sweat. As soon as I slowly to a stop, I felt myself tip, and I braced against a tree trunk, feeling nausea hit like a wrecking ball. 

I gasped for air, seeing my vision darken and whiten.

It took only one minute for my heart rate to return normal. I was nearly five, I'd sprinted for about 10 seconds, and ran and jogged for around ten more minutes.

A single thought ran through my mind after that realisation: 'inhuman'.

...I was starting to understand the differences between the Quirkless and this new 'normal'. The doctors were correct to say that there was a new evolution of mankind beginning to form. In fact, they began to evolve since Quirks were first introduced. That would explain many things that would've not-worked in real life. 

My previous world's bodies had fragile structures, and things I saw on a day to day basis- kids cracking tree bark, violent wrestling that ended with no concussions, jumping from higher places and not shattering ankles- If it had been my previous world, Katsuki falling into the river was extremely dangerous, yet he came out unscathed. It was just the little things that weren't so weird on screen, but were weird realistically speaking.

This didn't justify the discrimination, but I did understand where it came from; the Quirkless were, factually speaking, genetically inferior to those with a Quirk. That wasn't an insult. It was just a fact.

And the less common the Quirkless were, the closer they were placed to- well, frankly- animals. Another wave of nausea roiled in my stomach.

I squeezed my eyes shut before I ran again.

Then, when Izuku was in the second grade of elementary school, I found burn cream on his desk.

We were eight years old.

I gripped his arm, harshly tight. His green eyes swung to meet mine, confused at the borderline violent grip. 

"Izuku," I said, tone nearing coldness as I smiled humourlessly. "Run with me."

"D-Domi," His eyes were still blown wide as he stumbled a bit. "What do you mean?"

If Izuku didn't care about my opinion, why should I keep holding myself back because I cared for his?

"Didn't you say we'd become Heroes together? You're... too weak to become a Hero." I tugged him again, not letting him duck his head again.

Weak. He was too weak. And to try and 'help' him, I'd forced myself to act weaker than he already was. That would never help him. No, to help Izuku, I'd have to get him to struggle, pathetically, desperately. He needed to fight to become stronger than me.

"So become strong with me."

Chapter Text

-Eight-

"Have you read One Punch Man?" I asked as I stood besides Izuku who had his hands braced on his knees. He was drenched in sweat, and panting like he'd ran a marathon. 

We hadn't even reached one kilometre.

"100 sit-ups, 100 push-ups, 100 squats, and a 10 kilometre run everyday." I mused absently, "Though that takes effort, it isn't most efficient. Running targets pretty much every muscle in the body, and for children like us, it's the optimal work out. 10 kilometres for an average man would take less than an hour. So let's just use 'one hour' to run every morning for as long as possible."

It was a competition, and he knew it. And like hell I was going to go easy now. I was done with that.

"Guh-"

"...Hm?"

"Gr-Grip strength as well." Izuku gave me a sorta-smile as I handed him the bottle. "For handling weapons. And then there's flexibility in joints to prevent injuries."

I felt a satisfied smile spread over my face. He was surprisingly agreeable, and though there was a chance he'd give up in the near future, getting started was what I'd predicted to be the hardest. Perhaps he was just happy that I didn't immediately charge at Katsuki in loud vengeance. "And then there's diet to consider, and-"

"Your Quirk as well."

The smile froze on my face. He knew? Was he okay with it? How? When? Had I slipped sometime? For how long did he know-

Izuku chuckled airily, "Domi, I'm not an idiot."

"I know." I pursed my lips. Was he hiding his reaction? Was he faking it right now? Is he mad? What do I say- "But we're talking about our natural physique right now."

"Having a Quirk is essential to becoming a Hero, Domi." His chuckle turned pained. "Don't ignore it for me."

"Don't be stupid." I pressed my lips together. "You want to be a Hero that saves, don't you, Nii-chan? How does your Quirklessness prevent that? After all, Quirks are just weapons. I told you already, didn't I? You will become a Hero."

That bittersweet expression arose again, "'And that's a thousand times stronger than 'can'', right?"

"Right." I gave him a little push, smiling a little. I was surprised he'd actually listened. "Come on. Go run yourself into the ground, Nii-chan."

'So-' I continued internally. 'You're too exhausted to stop me from having a talk with Katsuki and his lackeys.'

In all seriousness though, I actually... did want to figure out why. I didn't think it would come to that, especially after that one conversation we'd had-

-Seven-

"Nii-chan," Kitomi said with a humourless smile. "You shouldn't admire that."

"...I know what you think about Kacchan, Domi." Izuku gave her a knowing look. "But strength- strength is what it takes to be a Hero! And Kacchan beat two fourth graders just like that! And he didn't even cry! Isn't that- Don't you think that that's cool?"

Then his face fell. Izuku knew he shouldn't've told her. She didn't understand Izuku, and it made him feel stupid and embarrassed.

"N-Never mind." He stammered, looking down and away. She grasped his hand to stop him from leaving, but she didn't say anything for a full few seconds.

"Getting beaten up..." Kitomi finally said, with difficulty. "Is not cool."

Izuku felt his expression freeze, but it wasn't like Kitomi could see it anyway.

"Yeah." He agreed, but the word shook as much as his hands did. They clenched into fists, and the aches on his shoulders from when he'd been shoved felt all too present.

Izuku was not cool at all.

A few hours later, Kitomi went to seek out the old 'secret' pathway Izuku and Katsuki had used to get to each other's backyards. It had been a... rather childish idea to Kitomi, seeing as how the distance was so short it was barely a 'path', but they had been two and their spatial awareness was horrible at best.

She'd gone along with it because it had represented their friendship, in a way.

Masaru was the one who saw her first. He was sitting in their outdoor shelter with his forehead pressed against the table. He looked miserable. Then when he saw her and the vaguely annoyed look on her face, he relaxed for some reason, shooing her... into his house.

Mitsuki noticed her second, as she let out a half-scream of surprised joy, cut off when Masaru raised his brows and they did the weird eye communication thing.

Then it was Katsuki, obviously, who had no choice but to see her because she'd opened his door with only a single, sharp knock's warning, ducking under his instinctive, accurate object-throw (it was a book on explosives), and greeting flatly-

"Katsuki."

His face wasn't in a scowl for once, flat in confusion.

Kitomi took the chance to examine his face, cringing inwardly when she noticed that yes, Katsuki had been crying, contrary to Izuku's belief.

There were stretched plastic band-aids in the bin on top of a mountain of tissue and gauze, probably forcibly yanked off. There was a noticeable blotch of red staining the band-aid whites, the tissues, and the bandages.

'Idiot.' She internally groaned, entirely unimpressed by whatever childish tantrum he was throwing. 

And if she didn't wish she was immature, irresponsible, and ignorant. Then she wouldn't have to do this. Then she- in spite- could just let Katsuki self-destruct, even if it meant hurting her brother.

But she couldn't do that. Emotions provoked irrational decisions. This was something that she had to figure out. 

And so she would.

-Eight: before present-

I slowly picked up the medication, reading the label over and over again. Burn cream medicine... for what? 

So long as they stayed far apart from each other, Izuku didn't really get hurt...

During that night, I stayed awake. I could hear muffled crying under his covers. In the early morning, there was a CRR noise as band-aids were loudly peeled from their plastic coverings. I could even hear Izuku let out a tiny, panicked- "Ah!" at the noise.

He wasn't subtle at all.

(I hadn't noticed until now.)

I could hear the fumbling and cluttering as he dressed his own wounds, the rustling as he buried the scraps deep in the bin, probably to make sure I couldn't see them.

And when I opened my eyes, I saw worse than what I'd thought. It was ugly, uglier on his pale, soft skin. The skin of a child. Purples mingling with greens, the tell-tale yellow of past bruising as well. A single, large, and noticeable burn wound stretched across his forearm.

I sat up, abruptly, startling him. Izuku had slapped his arms over his chest, then yelped when he agitated his wounds. I heard him say something, but it sounded like bubbles underwater. 

I felt my face shut off, cold exterior to my raging, seething mind. And I had thought- foolishly thought. (I felt betrayal, but I'd expected this, I'd seen this coming, even with how I tried to prevent it.)

I knew, somewhere at the back of my mind for some reason I couldn't identify, that it had never been that physically bad. There were most likely insults, but how dare I bring up his Quirklessness between the two of us? How would he admit his weakness to the younger sister he believed he had to 'protect'?

Perhaps they chased him, or scared him, but with how vehemently he denied my attempts to somehow intervene, he least wanted me to get involved. And I'd respected that. It was the one thing he was pushy on, so I... I just let it go.

Even with this- a physical beating, what was literally illegal Quirk use- he didn't want me to get involved. I could see it in the cowardly glint of his eyes.

Well now, I was going to get involved, whether he liked it or not. I was starting to realise that I was becoming like Inko.

That notion made me furious.

"Izuku," I said after we both silently got ready. He had not spoken once, but startled at his name. It was the first time I'd said it aloud like this. "Run with me."

-After-

She disappeared as soon as Izuku all but fell into the bathtub in physical exhaustion, muttering something about hygiene.

Today was Saturday, and it was still fairly early in the day, so Katsuki's parents would be working. Considering how Izuku wasn't friends with Katsuki anymore, he would be most likely at Tsubasa's house- or more likely, at the park and woodlands near it. Taking Katsuki's rigid sleep schedule in count, he would've been there for long enough to have scared every other kid off already, or ventured deep enough so that he was away from other 'extras'.

As she neared the area, she heard the tell-tale sounds of a child crying, and- rolling her eyes- thought: 'bingo'.

Kitomi slowed to a halt behind a tree closest to them. She placed a hand- Centre Point- on the trunk- Target Point- and set: Attract, then began scaling the tree slowly like a lizard. While with her current body, normal tree climbing would be a walk in the park, she decided to use her Quirk for any sort of thing possible to find out the limits or uses of it.

Fairly quickly, she reached the top, and peered through the leaves, noting that there was only Katsuki and Tsubasa there- no other one of his friends, or other people. 

She closed her eyes to think, before she shook her head and opened them again. Force of habit. A habit she needed to break if she didn't want her Quirk failing to get her or someone killed.

Kitomi needed to talk to Katsuki, but also- preferably punch him- at least once. The latter, of course, was her personal sentiment, and not an actual requirement that she set. For her, there was only one answer to fulfil both wants: getting rid of Tsubasa's involvement.

She took a leap, landing with one foot on the winged boy's back, right between his shoulder blades- Target Point- and she stared at the floor- Centre Point- and a brutal tug- Attract- sent him crashing down in a loud yelp.

"Whoo." She cheered blandly, daintily stepping off. "KO."

"B-" He gargled. "Bi-dge."

"Never mind. Please get lost." Ignoring the cuss, Kitomi turned to the blonde.

"Katsuki," She greeted as neutrally as she could.

The boy himself smirked, sharp and satisfied. "Kitomi."

"S-See, Katsuki?" Tsubasa managed, pretending to be unfazed by his bleeding nose. "I told you it would work. Deku's good for bait at least!"

Kitomi's jaw clenched at that jeer, and all semblance of amiability washed off of her face.

She moved to ask 'why', but instead-

"Stop it." She said quietly, voice cold.

"Make me." Katsuki instantly shot back, undeterred by the tone that even made adults hesitate, like he'd prepared for this- like he'd planned it all out. Little pops burst in his palm. "Fight me, Kitomi, and I'll finally prove that I'm better than you."

"...That was the reason?" Kitomi arched a brow, lip curling the slightest bit in what looked like disdain. "Why you hurt my brother?"

She was careful to maintain sharp clarity on top of her roiling emotions, lest her Quirk decided to act on them again.

After a beat, Tsubasa burst out laughing- "More like that was the reason why Katsuki didn't hurt Deku before!"

Confusion overtook anger for a moment as Kitomi returned back into a normal standing position, just realising that she had leaned forwards in subconscious eager to hurt. She frowned, glancing around Katsuki at him. "What do you mean?"

"Tsubasa," Katsuki growled, moving so that he intercepted her line of sight. "Shut the fuck up."

He chuckled, "Yes, Katsuki."

"Wait- Katsuki," She started, angering the blonde yet again as she tried to look around him at Tsubasa. "That gave me more questions. Explain."

"Don't order me around, you shitty creep!" He thundered, explosions crackling in his palm.

Kitomi dodged his lunge, stumbling from her lack of preparation. She narrowed her eyes at that insult, only just realising that he hadn't really called her 'creep' like the others usually did.

Just like he used to always call Izuku 'Izuku', he only called her 'Kitomi' or whatever nickname he'd thought of. 'Deku' and 'creep' now, was it?

"Still ignoring me?!" His breaths were already heavier than usual as he heaved to yell- "Now you're starting to really piss me off!"

"Explain." Kitomi repeated, a bit more forcefully. "I won't fight until you answer me-"

Her sentence was cut off by a loud bang that made her wince. "You think you had a choice?!" 

She sidestepped away from his lunge, reading his straightforward fighting style easily. She caught his wrist, thinking- for a moment- where his stance was most vulnerable, before she tugged his arm to her side, sweeping his foot. He landed stomach-first onto the ground. 

He only had the time to flip himself back face up before she sat on top of him, designating her palms as Centre Point, and Katsuki as Target Point- Repel- and his head thudded back onto the ground with a force that almost made Kitomi flinch, and worry. 

The force lessened drastically, though it should still be enough to hold him down. "Now," She gritted out, annoyed. "Talk to-"

A harsh impact knocked against her temple as she was sent flying, crashing onto the ground in an eruption of dust. She tumbled, barely even able to realise what had happened. 

"Get lost, Tsubasa!" Katsuki barked, a bang sounding his palms. "Don't fucking interfere!"

And- ah, she was such an idiot.

Kitomi slowly pulled herself up, cringing at the dust and dirt on her. She spat, tasting earth in her mouth, before she finger combed her hair back from her face.

That didn't hurt nearly as much as it should've. A flying kick would've knocked her unconscious in her past life, and now, she was just tanking it with not even a headache. She dusted her knees as she watched Katsuki resisting the urge to throw another tantrum, at conflict now that he gained an unfair advantage.

He wanted to fight, but the 'fight' was already faulty. 

"...So that's your Quirk, huh?" He finally mustered. "You weren't even using your full strength. Why are you going easy on me?! Do you think-"

"I don't think you're weak, Katsuki." Kitomi's eyes narrowed in distaste. "I think you're fucking stupid."

"What did you say?!" He howled, moving again, provoked. Her eyes widened when he used an explosion to burst himself forward- Such versatility at this age even?

Kitomi instinctively bent backwards, ducking away, wincing when his Quirk went off a tad too closely, burning off parts of her hair tips. As much as she'd 'trained', he probably had too- and a million times more.

Katsuki rampaged, limbs swinging as she barely managed to dodge each explosion of heat and force. Some feral noise akin to a roar tore out of the boy's throat as he didn't land a single hit. 

"I said you're stupid, Katsuki!" She yelled over the crackles. "Brawn for brains- You only think of fighting, don't you? This is why you hardly ever have normal conversations! That's really fucking pathetic, Katsuki! I don't like participating in spats with children-"

His voice was said through a baring of teeth, what everyone around him thought were 'smiles'. "I'll kill you if you don't fight! You were always like that, judging me quietly at the back, still as a statue! You just stand there doing nothing, and I fucking hate it!"

"We talked! "

"But you did nothing."

Kitomi's eyes widened and the next explosion threw her off her feet. She pulled her legs around and close to her chest, flipping and landing in a skid of dust. She didn't have time to pat off her knees before Katsuki leapt forward again.

"Why don't you ever move? " It seemed like he was lacking in the right words to say. "You never do anything and-" And Katsuki didn't know why. He could only assume that it was because she thought she was so much better than him. "I'm sick of it all."

"So you what?" Kitomi caught his collar, twisting her fist so that the cloth strained against his throat. The boy had yet to multitask so well that he could fight while speaking. Her voice lowered venomously, as soft as the breeze brushing against their skin.

"You beat up my brother to lure me out? Or maybe you beat him up cuz you couldn't beat me up? What a-"

"I'm not a coward!" He screamed, hand shooting towards her face. Kitomi moved to dodge, but it was too late. She flinched, and braced for the heat and pain of burns, but-

His palm struck against her face in a slap.

The force was still enough for her neck to whip to the side, and a stark crack to resound- She even felt her loose baby tooth come off, replaced with the metallic taste of blood. Was that... luck? Or- Mercy?

She slowly turned to face Katsuki again and he was frozen, both of them motionless as they took in what had just happened. 

Katsuki always did what Katsuki was capable of. Kitomi knew that he didn't do stuff like holding back, so wh-

His hand slowly clenched into a fist, and she spat out her tooth and tensed again in waiting. 

"You're the coward." Katsuki hissed. "You left class. You left my group. You even left your precious brother all alone."

"Is that why you hit Izuku?" Kitomi asked, feeling her emotions shift in discomfort. It wasn't even afternoon yet, but she felt so tired. She gathered strength again, and inhaled deeply to speak. "In defiance of my absence? To spite me for my decisions? Revenge? The world doesn't fucking revolve around you, Katsuki."

"Stop asking me why." He growled, face twisted in an expression she couldn't pick out. It held too many emotions, yet none at all. "I do it cuz I can. Cuz I want to."

A taunting smirk flashed across his face. Hollow happiness, but happiness all the same.

"So what?"

Katsuki picked on weak kids because they're easy ways to let out steam, and because he doesn't even get in trouble for it, and because it was a way for him to know that he was the top of the top, the Number One to-be. 

Kitomi realised all of this, but she hadn't yet accepted the fact that he picked on others because the feeling of superiority was the only enjoyment he could have when he was the lone dominator in his year level.

In simpler terms, Katsuki did this because it was fun.

"What... What do you-"

"But it's so fucking annoying, you know?" He sneered, "Because everyone- the teachers, those extras, every single person that sees- they don't give a fuck. Only you did. You still do. And you're the one I need to beat."

To become Number One. To confirm his position as top dog. To validate all that he'd done. 'The opinion of extras didn't matter.' But so long as Kitomi was superior to him, her opinion had to matter. That was what he'd implied back then, and even now.

"But you know who else does care?" Katsuki's eyes narrowed in what looked like genuine loathing- in what was probably genuine loathing. "Deku. Even though he's weak and useless. That's why it feels good kicking him arou-"

Kitomi's arm swung out in a brutal straight punch, sliding somewhere between his nose and his cheek. Katsuki stumbled back two steps- three, four-five. 

"Y-You... You say it's just because of that? " Her chest was tight, and maybe that was causing her breath to sound laboured. "Because of something- something that inane, you're ruining both our lives?!"

He rubbed at his face, eyes widening as blood started to trickle out of his nose. Kitomi's mind had blanked in one second of shock before anger rushed through her body again.

Every single bit of restraint she'd had for the sake of who knows what- Katsuki, Izuku, or even herself- just vanished. There had been no point in restraining herself in the first place.

All for his fun. 

Izuku went through all of that, and she'd suffered through all that conflict... Just because Katsuki found bullying fun.

She stepped forward and grabbed onto his elbow and shoulder, driving her knee into his gut. By now, she forego tactics, her Quirk, and even rationality. She didn't need any of those to just let out her distress on the one causing it. She punched and yanked and slammed her entire body weight into each of her strikes.

"I answered your question, so now answer mine! " And Katsuki fought back just as violently, punching and shoving and pulling and grappling. 

"Why don't I ever act? Why don't I look for trouble when I have all my 'power'?" She asked incredulously. Those questions seemed so confronting, accusing. It pushed against her pride because Katsuki had put her up to be all big and mighty when she- 

Kitomi's brows furrowed and she shook her head. "I'm not the rival you're looking for, Katsuki, and I'm not going to make myself one that you want-" 

"I don't have fucking requirements for this bullshit, just f-"

"You don't understa-" She didn't want to say it.

"There's nothing to fucking understand! "

Kitomi wrestled him onto the floor, dominating in both height and weight. There was no proper technique, or hold- There was nothing 'proper' about this entire messy, clumsy, ugly 'fight'.

"Did you even listen to me?! Back then?!" She swallowed. "Did you remember a word of what I said that day, one year ago?!"

Katsuki's face blanked and then he flashed a smile, red dribbling over his front teeth. "No. You talk too much."

She crashed her fist over his face, knocking the expression off his face.

"Then I'll just tell you what I'm thinking now. In simple terms, so even a thick-skulled bastard like you can understand." Kitomi's voice was deadened but foreboding, like the calm before the storm.

He lurched upwards and clawed at her face, catching onto her shirt collar and pulling her down low enough for his other arm to strike. "Wh-"

"I just don't want to!" Kitomi burst out, slightly unhinged. Her palms slammed down besides his head, too close for it to not be a threat. She leant down, tilting her head so she could stare coldly into his eyes. "I don't want to do any of it! It's not because I'm underestimating you, or that I'm arrogant-"

Katsuki shoved at her shoulders, and sent a right hook towards her head. She felt more blood pooling in her mouth, and wondered, for a moment, whether or not her tooth would grow crooked because of this.

She snapped her neck back to stare down him again, finishing her sentence. "-I'm just unwilling! I'm not your rival because-"

"Stop making excu-"

Kitomi slammed her fist downwards in an eruption of sudden anger, making the words cut off with a strained choke.

"Katsuki..." She gritted out.

A bite. A hiss. A spit. It still sounds like a profanity when the name comes out of her mouth.

(Nostalgia should be the last thing they're feeling.)

"Shut up." He snapped.

"Katsuki."

"Shut up! " He yelled. "I told you to shut up, and just figh-"

"Kacchan and his friends... They hurt people."

He said he could protect himself. He lied. He always lied even when she tried to do so much for him, but she can't hate her brother, so she can only hate what made her brother like that-

"Cuz I want to. So what?"

And wasn't he meant to have had a redemption? Wasn't he better before junior high? Why was he like this- Hadn't he changed? So what about what they'd talked about back then? So she, in the end, just couldn't- She knew she hadn't tried that hard, but she'd done what she thought was best, and every step forward she took just seemed to take her closer to the cliff's edge-

"Fight me, Kitomi, and I'll finally prove that I'm better than you-"

But she didn't want to. She didn't want any of this. He should've known. He should know. But he never even pays attention to anyone asides from himself because he was just arrogant like that! Selfish, narrow-minded, vain to the point of stupidity! So why was it always Kitomi who had to deal with this?!

"KATSUKI-" She screamed. In frustration, in rage, in bitterness. "Why won't you listen to me?! "

"...Ki-"

She drew in a ragged inhale, "I said I just don't want to do it! You're wrong, don't you get it?! I don't want to become Number One, or whatever the fuck you're aiming for!"

Her fingers squeezed tighter into her palm, so much restlessness but with nowhere to go. She slammed her fist down again, but it did nothing to help.

So, over and over and over and over and ov-

"I just want a normal, untroubled life, so I'm not your rival! Or your challenge, or your opponent! Just leave me the fuck alone! Is that too hard to understand? Is that too much to ask for?! "

Her throat felt raw, and her voice was so weak that the broken sound was only fuelled by emotion alone.

Only after six, or seven, or eight strikes did she realise that Katsuki was not resisting. She panted, lungs burning, muscles burning, and her face- red with exertion, and even her eyes-

Kitomi's fist loosened as it clumsily landed with a 'thup' on his shoulder, the sound suddenly a million times louder than it had been before.

Her eyes which swam with angry tears that dropped with every blink.

Down her lashes, barely touching her cheek from the position she was in, head hung in tired suffering. 

Katsuki pushed her off and she tipped to the side, not moving as he crawled out from beneath her.

Sitting in a child's pose, hands braced in front of her, back hunched- She felt like a puppet, cut of its strings, free, but lifeless. 

"...Hey..." Kitomi breathed heavily, not seeming to get enough air for how much adrenaline she felt, for how much exhaustion she felt. "...Why aren't you fighting back?"

"You just- You just want to get beaten up. Fucking loser." Katsuki's mouth curled, but it was half-hearted at best. His face was stained with blood, and his nose was still bleeding. 

"Answer the damn question." Her voice was fatigued and soft, yet he still felt compelled to answer.

"...Didn't you say? This isn't a fight. I wouldn't fight with someone- with someone as pathetic as you."

Kitomi craned her head, face tilted upwards, eyes meeting Katsuki's, and speaking the words she could not aloud- 'Why did you reply?' Because he wouldn't reply to someone he deemed 'pathetic'. 

'That was the last.' His eyes seemed to respond.

And in the emptiness of their space, towering trees casting shadows, their respective personas seemed to fall flat, the front they put on- not fake, but not entirely real- scrubbed off from exhaustion. 

"Go crawl back to your hidey-hole." His words held bite, but his tone was lacking. Katsuki stumbled back a few steps, arm latching onto a tree for support. Then he pushed off of it, turning around and stalking away.

"Do whatever you want." His voice was low. "I don't care anymore."

And as Kitomi's gaze dropped back to the dirt floor and her bloodied hands, Katsuki broke from a limping walk to a lopsided run, and then to a graceless sprint.

Her forearms fell to the floor, and she tucked her chest closer to her thighs, arms dragging in the dirt as they wrapped around her head. In whatever light there was in her little space of vision, her sight began to blur as it flooded with tears and more tears.

She choked, and she cried.

Because she was only eight years old, and she'd lost someone she didn't even have.

-Seven-

In a few brisk strides, she shortened the distance between them, and grabbed at his wrist. It snapped him out of his shock, and he yanked his arm away, flinching at the sting from the action, the roll of nausea-

"Kitomi," Katsuki narrowed his eyes, tone aggressive. He watched as she carelessly sat herself cross-legged on his bed, facing him. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Arm." She uttered flatly with an unimpressed mien. Her hand was facing palm up in between them.

His jaw shifted, face twisting into a scowl. His hands fisted when she didn't move an inch, curling into the fabric.

"Katsuki," Kitomi said harshly. "Arm. Left one first."

He never let people order him around. He raised his right arm, and a small smile broke the scarily neutral expression on Kitomi's face. He feels like he'd lost somehow, again.

But Katsuki remained silent, knowing he'd tear out those stupid bandages later anyway. He just stayed still so that she could waste all of her first aid shit.

"Nii-chan-" She started, and Katsuki felt himself sneer. Him again. Deku again. What, so she only approached him because Deku told her so? Was she going to pity and look down on him like he does as well? It wasn't like he was disabled!

"-Told me you were cool." Kitomi's voice was toneless, cold. "You beat up two fourth graders. You won."

He did. So why was she acting like this?

"How... do you feel?"

Katsuki glared at her, not knowing what words should come out of his mouth. It was rare that Kitomi approached him after all. It was always her staring, and not moving, so there must be something bad or important or whatever if she actually bothered...

"I won." He snapped back. "What else matters?" He could stand, he could walk, he wasn't fucking weak, so why was she treating him like a hospital ward patient?

"What." She chuckled airily. "You're smarter than this, Katsuki. I should rephrase that- What else matters, in all the ways you don't care about?"

Katsuki didn't think of the things he didn't care about. How- Was Kitomi implying that he was stupid for not caring about the things he did not care about? 

"Katsuki, your effect on others." Kitomi was laughed quietly, but it was nothing of amusement. "You really don't know anything about it?"

What was she on about? He wanted to scream at her, and then punch her in that arrogant, belittling face of hers.

Katsuki looked up and didn't see any arrogance. He scowled again, and stayed silent. His blood seethed. It was something about these Midoriya twins that kept challenging his right.

Strong people can fend for themselves; only the weak were treated like this.

And Katsuki wasn't fucking weak.

"I... didn't want to know. How you affect Nii-chan, I mean. Do you know that he looks up to you?"

As if.

"He might replicate you like how he tries to replicate All Might. He thinks getting beaten up is fine, probably. That winning and grinning over fear and hurt is fine, and- and cool even."

That rushed tone, like a clash of pitch, like a cool breeze disrupted- That wasn't how Kitomi spoke. Kitomi hardly spoke, and when she did, it was minimal, not repetitive, hardly interrupted by unintentional pauses of silence.

Katsuki could hear her breathing. And it felt strange because it felt like she didn't breathe, that everything she said was in one smooth exhale, and that- he didn't usually notice it when other people made small and insignificant sounds like inhaling and exhaling.

Probably because the sound of his own voice and breath drowned out those extras all the time.

In, and out... in and out, in-and-out, in-out-in-out-in-out- 

Why was she breathing so fast- And then it stops.

"...It isn't cool."

-And Katsuki's own breath halts, as if the sound, the action, had been stolen by Kitomi. 

"Shoving emotions down isn't healthy. Putting on a smile to solve your problems won't ever work. The façade these Heroes put on are simply that, but us- the younger generation- we misunderstand that."

How? He didn't understand. He was perfectly fine, and he did that all the time.

"I do too. So that's why I can't do anything but just ramble out whatever feels wrong to me. Out of all the people, you can't fall into the pit you're walking towards."

And Katsuki can only think- 'What?' But she's still talking amidst his confusion.

"-There is always a certain point when an avatar starts and ends, and for us, who only see what's on the screen- it becomes an ideal. To become a person like those avatars. To take a mask, and make it our real person. ...That doesn't work, and then things like- things like this happen-"

Katsuki wanted to tell her to stop, to demand her to explain, to rewind the past minute so he could actually understand what she was-

"Katsuki."

And the hard noise, the bite, hiss, spit- Ka-tsu-ki sounds like a profanity when it left her mouth.

"...What?" 

"Nothing about beating, or getting beaten-" There's a sharp inhale, then her voice snaps out like the crack of a whip. "-is fucking cool! "

Then there's another inhale, a louder exhale, then a softer inhale. "...Do you understand?"

No, Katsuki did not. Because that was what All Might did: beat up all the Villains, all the bad guys. A sharp yank reminded him that she was still dressing his cuts and scrapes and bruises and burns. He had wanted them to leave scars, so he could show everyone how cool- The thought cuts off, and he suddenly felt humiliated.

Even though he shouldn't.

She muttered, voice acidic as there's another sharp yank. "I can't read your mind, Katsuki." 

It felt like she could. Eyes like magnets- either no one looked at them, or they were drawn in, like staring at a hypnotic illusion. The eyes that seemed to always watch him, as present as the sun was in the afternoon, judging silently.

His lack of response seemed to disappoint her.

"All Might..." He started before being appalled by the pathetic-ness in his voice. He sounded like a loser. "All Might seems completely outmatched every time his fights are on those TV screens."

"The ones at the local electronic retail store." She nodded slowly.

"Two versus one is called unlucky. Four versus one is called unfair. Ten versus one is overkill." Katsuki inhaled, and he finds his breath again. "All Might... never loses. He always beats them up and wins in the end. That's what a Hero is. They do what they can do, and don't whine about it like a loser."

"Then, what about how you feel?"

"That isn't important." He instantly retorted.

It was true. He just did what he could, and if he couldn't, then that sucked, and he needed more training.

He didn't need help, especially not from a weakling like Deku.

"What if it's important to Nii-chan?"

"I don't care about that shitty De-" Katsuki hissed through his teeth.

"Don't cross the line, Katsuki." Kitomi instantly cut over stiffly, tone cold. "I'm here for answers, and to try and solve whatever's wrong with your fucked up ideology. Not to baby you, or let you insult my brother. Uncle Masaru looked like he was on the verge of cracking open a beer bottle, so it's more for him than you."

"Have you gotten your answers?" He asked with a scowl.

"No." Kitomi replied, sounding a little annoyed. "I don't understand how you think-"

"I could say the fuckin' same." He growled.

"Why are you letting me question you?"

"Because you can."

"Nii-chan can't?"

"No one else can." 

"Why not?"

"Because they're extras."

"Is Nii-chan an extra?"

"Wha-"

"Why not?"

He scowled- 'Can't read my mind, my arse!' and then replied aloud: "Because he keeps wanting to help me like I'm weak."

"...Izuku." Kitomi frowned, gold meeting crimson eyes. She said the name slowly, as if finding the right words to say. "Does not think you're weak. He helps you because he's just like that. It isn't you, it's him."

It makes him fall silent again. He didn't get any of this. All this information piled onto him- He couldn't tell what was right or wrong. He was used to dismissing everyone's opinion, but this was Kitomi, his only obstacle to becoming Number One. He couldn't dismiss her because she was in front. 

But how come she cared about these types of things too? Was it a Midoriya thing? Mentality wasn't important. He just did what he could, and if he couldn't, he just needed to work harder. That was it. Why was she making everything so complicated?! He thought that, if anything, she would agree with him.

"My turn." He shook his head. "Why don't you think All Might is cool when he could do so much better than you?"

"I know he is impressive." She nodded, like deciding to indulge him, and Katsuki didn't get-

"-What?! How is that any different?!"

"It's... more technical." And now she's as usual, unfazed to Katsuki's outbursts of loudness. "Something that's impressive just feels less personal. It means that it's a feat that exceeds expectations. Something that's... 'cool' is mimicked, placed as something to achieve so they were 'cool' themselves. It feels like a senseless term to me. Not being 'impressive' is 'better' than not being 'cool' when in actuality, both are just... fine."

So... like the 'vibe'?

He can't hear either of them breathing now. Just the sounds of rustling and and a few crickets beginning to chirp.

"I don't want anyone becoming like All Might." She added detachedly, as if she was thinking aloud. "Thinking of him just makes me feel sad."

But why? Why all of this? Katsuki didn't understand.

"...All Might is cool." She agreed with a slow nod, "There's much I could name, but I suppose I want to say that 'not giving up' is really cool."

Well figures that she thinks that considering someone as persistent as Deku was her brother. He was like a bloody cockroach. It's always Kitomi and her clinginess with her brother. Katsuki felt the urge to roll his eyes.

"I guess even you can be cool sometimes." She then said idly.

What. "Huh."

Kitomi offered a half-shrug. She looked a tad bit guilty, but he didn't know why. "Your determination is none other, really. It takes guts to fight against two fourth graders."

She started to gather up the rubbish from all the first aid products she used, completely not paying attention to him and his overwhelming feeling of unexplained accomplishment.

On the other side, Kitomi was feeling a little... responsible for projecting her inner thoughts on him. Hate him or not, she had to admit that Katsuki was a force to be reckoned with. She was also admittedly pleasantly surprised that he didn't snap like she expected him to.

"It's that spirit that I can admire," She added, "That's why I don't care if you won or not. Right now, we're all just kids. Don't take everything so personally, and try to broaden your horizons a little more."

Katsuki grew with a childlike mindset. He just needed some more flexibility. Now she sort of understood how Katsuki disliked Izuku so much: it was their mutual lack of understanding.

But how she wished she could just grab at a knife and threaten him to leave Izuku alone. Unfortunately, she knew that that wouldn't work well at all. Speaking to Katsuki like this, while making her feel a little gross, should prove better than violence.

"Also," Kitomi said, in an unimpressed tone before leaving the room. "Don't tear off your bandages like a bloody idiot next time."

Chapter Text

He was... scared. Of a lot of things.

He was scared of Kacchan's hands, that had always stopped an inch before his face, and the crackling noise it made.

He was scared of Tsubasa, and his quiet slyness. He was scared of the unpredictable words that would come out of his mouth.

He was scared of Mom finding out that he didn't fit in his class, that the teachers always treated him with pity, and his classmates always thought he was an alien, or some little strange creature.

He was scared of Domi because she was the one who could most easily tear his only pillar away from him. His status as her 'older brother'. That title- empty as it may be- was still something amongst all the things that kept slipping from him.

Tsubasa had whispered, sometimes, after Kacchan stalks away, things that frighten Izuku more than Kacchan's glares do. He told him that Kacchan wasn't even trying to bully him; he wasn't bullying him because he wanted something from Domi. That, though, he couldn't name besides a tentative suggestion of wanting her in his future Hero Agency.

Tsubasa's lack of understanding was barely a triumph though because it wasn't like Izuku understood Domi completely either. He had also been too preoccupied with the implication that he couldn't really care about that. 

Whether it was his feelings of jealousy that Kacchan would accept Domi, but not him, or that Domi might want Kacchan's protection, but not his, Izuku just felt left out. Angry. He could direct all those emotions towards Kacchan because Kacchan hurt people, and he might hurt Domi too.

He was all about wanting to fight her after all. That was what Tsubasa told him.

And Izuku felt mad, a little, not only at that, but also because every single mercy he'd experienced was all as a result of Domi's actions, or even just her presence. The things Izuku wanted, Domi had them, even though she didn't even realise it, or worked for it. It felt like that no matter how hard Izuku struggled, Domi's back would still be too far to grasp.

The only thing Izuku could do was protect her from the one thing she probably couldn't herself: Kacchan.

It was a stupid idea; he knew she had a Quirk- he'd seen it when she was bouncing a ball on a table, but it was tugged off course randomly without her even touching it. She would definitely stand more of a chance than Izuku did.

But Domi felt... fragile... to Izuku. He did know that when she didn't care about other people, she didn't care about their anything, including their opinions. But he knew that she was like egg shells around the ones she genuinely did care for.

And he had a feeling that Kacchan- when they were two and he smiled more- had weaselled into Domi's heart. She did care about Kacchan, in her quiet way. 

Izuku didn't know in what type of way she cared about Kacchan- whether if it was wariness, or regret, or the normal 'good' care- but that meant that Kacchan could hurt Domi in the way she was usually invincible in.

So Izuku threw himself in between them.

Domi still needed him, she constantly gravitated towards him, and that last realisation had been the only thing that kept Izuku from giving up even as pain bloomed from every inch of his body. 

He had to be strong- He was strong in front of her, but she still thought he was weak. It made him frustrated because did she see herself as the younger sister? She said he was his Hero, but was that just pity?

Like Mom? Was she like Mom, but just better at acting?

Kacchan had been so angry when she left; he'd picked on more people than normal. And when Izuku had run in between them like normal, he didn't just walk away with a scoff; he'd shoved Izuku so hard he went tumbling on the ground, and kicked him even when he was on the ground. 

'It was for her,' He'd always think, just as much as he knew it was for himself. 

Kacchan had loudly called her a 'coward'. Izuku had yelled back that she wasn't because cowards ran, (and they both knew that that was not the reason why Domi left). And they both started to think about why she had.

She was too smart, he'd determined. Domi was too smart for all of them.

But then Kacchan told him that she had most likely left because she couldn't stand coming to school with Izuku. Seeing Izuku like that.

"Pathetic," Kacchan had called him. "And weak."

"I bet she hates having a brother like you." Kacchan had said.

And that was the first time when his insults had really felt like... that. Like something sharp had stabbed into his chest. Not 'nerd', not 'Deku', not 'you're so weird ' or the loud- "You're Quirkless?!" had hurt as bad as that.

Because of all the horrible things he was used to, the only nice thing he had couldn't be like that. 

Izuku could've outright asked her, but he didn't. But why? Not because he dismissed the harsh words without a doubt towards her, but because- though it sounded ugly to voice aloud: he couldn't trust her answer to be the one he liked.

She hesitated a lot, looked conflicted when he asked her about things. It was like she was constantly trying to say things to make him feel better, to please him. It felt like every single thing she said was a lie at this point. She didn't... believe in him. 

Just like how Izuku didn't believe in her. (To be honest.) He lied as well. ("I'm fine.") But it was a lie that wasn't bad. It was the lie of a Hero, to smile when others were scared...

Lots of things happened at home. More things happened at school.

Then Tsubasa told Kacchan that Domi would probably come if Izuku was beaten bad enough. Izuku thought that Kacchan wasn't that kind of person. He liked to do things with his own strength, and even doing this would mean 'getting Izuku's help' in some way.

But then Kacchan had smiled, and then he'd felt true fear.

But he held it in because no way was he going to let Kacchan do that to his sister. Izuku would protect her from the dirt and the bruises and the burn- the startlingly loud pops and the fear, rage, betrayal, sadness from having Kacchan stare like he would to a bug. Izuku would protect her, even if it meant getting beaten like this every single day.

Though he always felt guilty because there was still that one lingering doubt that he could never fully extinguish: what if Domi agreed with Kacchan? What if, one day, she'd step away with a disgusted look on her face and tell him the same things that everyone else in the world calls him?

That was what he sincerely feared the most.

(He had been proven wrong.)

(He should've been more afraid of being unable to protect Kitomi at all, no matter what he tried to do.)

He'd come home to see hair cut shorter than his- "It's called a two block haircut. Do you dislike it?"- and familiar injuries on her face. The red irritation of scrapes and burns, that large bruise across her cheek- Izuku didn't even need to close his eyes to visualise Kacchan's first strong right strike.

Izuku choked on a scream- "What did you do? Where did you go?" He felt icy cold terror lace through him and his arms shook, knuckles whitening as he withdrew his hands and fisted them by his sides. Kacchan. Not Kacchan. Not him- Why?

"What happened- Domi, what did you do? " He asked again, more frantic as his hands reached for her again before he flinched back. She looked scared. Of him. Izuku worried his lower lip between his teeth. He was asking all the wrong things.

"Are you okay?" Of course she wasn't! Even while away from school, even while he'd tried so hard to convince her that it was his problem alone, she still got involved. With Kacchan. Kacchan. 

Izuku... was so helpless! He could do nothing to change what had happened. Why had this happened? Why did Kitomi go after him?!

She smiled, "I'm fine, Izuku-nii."

No, she wasn't!

"Katsuki!" Mitsuki snapped, eyes widened in horror. "Oh god, what happened? You're all beaten up- Did you get into a fight again? Are you getting bullied?"

"Hah?! Why would I get bullied? And I didn't get into no fights." He bit out, mustering a glare at his parents.

"Katsuki, your mother and I are serious now." Masaru crouched down besides him. "This is the second time such a thing had happened. You can't brush this aside with that excuse-"

"It's not an excuse!" Katsuki screamed, shoving past his dad but failing when his arms simply drew around him, trapping him in an embrace. He didn't bother to struggle out.

"I just want a normal, untroubled life, so I'm not your rival! Or your challenge, or your opponent! Just leave me the fuck alone!"

"I-" Someone like that... "I didn't fight anyone."

"Oh my, you want another haircut?" Inko blinked widely at her daughter. She was much more introverted than before- not wanting to go out at all, and while she felt a little upset about it, Inko could understand why. She could only imagine how scary it would be as a child in the bustling crowds. It even scared her! 

She couldn't believe that such a thing happened while she wasn't there. As mature as Kitomi proves to be, Inko almost forgot she was but a child.

"No, I want to dye-" 

"Die?! " Inko screeched before forcefully lowering her voice. "Kitomi baby, wh-"

"Dye my hair." Kitomi corrected in a way that made her feel sheepish. "Black."

"Oh." Inko cleared her throat. She frowned, humming for a moment in thought. The short haircut certainly surprised her, but she could understand why she had done so. The only problem was that she looked like a boy now! If Inko was against anything, it would be more the haircut rather than the dying it, so-

"I see no harm in that. Are you sure?"

She nodded, "Yeah. I want to look more like you and Izuku."

'And less,' Inko thought with the uncomfortable mish-mash of relief and disappointment. 'Like her father.' He'd been her taste of freedom- of free will, but was also the taint of sin and disobedience- the representation of all that her mother loathed.

"Devil child."

'Now, Mother,' Inko stared down at the head of short, straight black hair. 'Would this appease you?'

"Are you sure you want to keep self-studying?" Izuku glanced at her as he wiped sweat off his forehead. After a long time of running, he still couldn't match to her. And he even trained without her sometimes to try and keep up. "Things are getting harder in school now." Or maybe Izuku was just getting dumber. 

"You can just help me with anything I don't know." Kitomi shrugged off easily, instantly numbing the doubt he felt. "And I can help you with anything you don't know."

She didn't sound the slightest bit impatient. It made him relieved. Everyone seemed impatient with him as of the late. But then again, it made sense because Kacchan and them said they were all grown up because they had two numbers in their age now. Izuku didn't feel that much grown up. He must've been a nuisance still acting like he did.

When would he grow up? 

Some people thought he was Kitomi's younger brother. 

"Do you want to move on from just running?" She traded back a question. Kitomi was taller than him now, a full half-head taller than the top of hair. It was like her appearance was finally starting to match with her demeanour. Kitomi glanced up, yellow eyes expectant. "Ingenious as you are, you still need a physical means of getting by. Running will only do so much after these years." 

"I-Ingenious..." Izuku scratched his cheek, still hung up on the word. "I wouldn't call it so... Haha..."

Kitomi blinked then she rolled up the paper she was writing on into a cylindrical shape and bonked it over his head. "The question, Izu-nii. Do you want to learn how to fight?"

"Well..." He felt hesitant. Izuku never really enjoyed the idea of fighting someone- much less against his own twin sister. It was a stupid thought, he knew, but it felt wrong. 

She paused, "We don't have to go to a club; you can replicate pretty much any doable thing you see; we could self-teach and work around that." Kitomi cast him an assessing look. "You dislike fighting?"

"Of course I do." He replied softly, not really surprised at how she could just reply to the thoughts in his head. "You don't like it either, do you?"

She pursed her lips. "You need to get strong. As strong as possible." 

Because of his Quirklessness, Izuku instantly realised, mood turning flat again. His Quirklessness never failed to ruin every good thing he thinks of. (By now it was far too late to be looking for a late manifestation.) It made him dumber, and slower, and weaker than others. A little... unfair, wasn't it?

"Would it be better to phrase it- Do you want to learn how to defend yourself?" Her eyes bore into his. "Do you want to be able to protect someone?"

Katsuki eyed the weird newbie from the corner of his eye; he didn't recognise him despite how they looked about the same age, and it was only the locals that came to this gym. 

He slowly finished his set as he begun to muse about this strange kid. He was strong, for one- lifting about the same amount as he did last year, and he was disturbingly invisible; Katsuki wouldn't've even noticed his presence if it wasn't for how he'd been using the leg press before him. And it wasn't even because of his appearance either (which was still boring), it was just his... everything.

He wasn't even sure whether or not this person was new.

Of course, no one was loud in the gym, but he could at least hear grunts or groans of despair once every while that made them existent in Katsuki's little world of him and extras.

And what sort of psychopath didn't listen to music while treadmill running? And why was he wearing a weird blindfold? The entire being of this person set off the 'suspicious person' alarm bells inside of Katsuki's head.

As soon as Kitomi let out an exaggerated gagging noise, Izuku felt his face warm and he slammed his notebook cover shut. "Domi! " He cried in a way that was definitely not a whine.

She tried to stifle her laughter, visibly turning red from the effort. "Nii, you can't possibly think of wearing that as your Hero costume! You look like a bunny!" 

"Well, at least you aren't going on an All Might tirade." Izuku pretended to huff loudly. "It's admiration!"

"It's imitation! " Kitomi chortled, mimicking his tone. It was in times like this when Izuku remembered that his twin was, indeed, not an AI. "Here-" She then flipped to the next page and roughly sketched out something in a speed that made him doubt his previous statement about her not being a robot. "Doesn't this look way better?"

"The symbolism-"

"The symbolism," She rolled her eyes. "Can't be imitation, Nii-san. You want to be the best Hero; not All Might. They're different things, as much as they seem not to be."

'You're wrong.' Izuku opened his mouth to heatedly debate, before he glanced at her face, still flushed from her unrelenting giggles, and snapped his mouth shut. "Yes, yes, Domi knows all. Have you decided on your Hero outfit then?"

She freezes, and Izuku can track the thousands of thoughts that run through her brain before she rigidly replies- "Not yet." 

"Should we then?" He squinted at her. 

"No way it's 'we'." She protested dramatically. "You'll give me the All Might bunny ears as well!"

"Katsuki doesn't recognise me." The child laughed and it sounded awkward. "Not many people do anymore."

"That's a logical consequence." Naomasa said without stopping his writing. "Surely you expected that ever since you barged into my office looking like you escaped a horror movie and demanded I cut your hair then proceeded to dye it all black and change your clothing into the androgynous mess that it is before purchasing a customised blindfold."

"Detective-" She said in an aborted manner, holding up a finger. "I have many things to protest. First of all, I don't like the asymmetrical cuts, and red hair- No. And I'm literally a kid. Wearing something that isn't Hero-related or frilly pink doesn't mean I'm being androgynous. The blindfold was to prove a point."

Ah right- 'beating her brother's arse with a blindfold on proved that the Quirkless could do the same'.

"And now it's like covering up all my... beacon-like features, so it's convenient."

"You're invisible." Naomasa pressed. "Move a few metres outta your neighbourhood and blue hair is the norm. A fire hydrant would look more like a human than you do."

"Tis the point. And to your first implication: yes, I did expect it. The lack of recognition, I mean."

Naomasa eyed her suspiciously, mentally creating a list and ticking off boxes to try and narrow down her issue. "...Surely you aren't going through a phase, are you?"

"No, it was just an observation that I'm unsatisfied with for a reason I can't comprehend." She frowned. "Logically, everything makes sense."

"...And?" He prompted. 

"Everything-else-ly, it doesn't." 

"You're going through a phase." He sing-songed before his tone turned serious. "Well, it's like keeping a secret and hiding it in plain sight. It's worse since your last encounter with him was... catastrophic, to say the least. 'Confront or avoid'; two ways people react to stressors. Confront is a high moment of stress before the possibility of the stressor being removed while avoiding can lead to the prolonging of the stressor, but the feeling of relief."

She arched her brow in her signature way that made all his coworkers- reportedly- feel 'daft'. After a full five seconds of silence, she rolled her eyes, and obligingly said- "And?"

"And here, I present: you."

"I see." She said monotonously in a way that confirmed that she, in fact, did not see. 

"Basically avoid for life and deal with that feeling or reveal who you are and tank the reactions." Naomasa nodded to himself, ignoring Kitomi's mutter of- "Thanks for nothing." "I'm a man of many talents-"

"And therapy comes in your bundle deal." She finished in an unimpressed drone. "I've heard that many times, Detective, from your own egotistical mouth."

He stifled a snicker. "Did my many talents help?"

"Not with my issue, no." Kitomi rolled her eyes for the billionth time. "But your sheer amazingness never ceases to aid my general well-being."

"That's what I thought." 

"Goodbye, Detective."

Izuku had sat down with her and puppy-eyed her into filling in all the guardian details. Inko didn't have a spine when it came down to this. She was too used to bending down under her parents' wishes- anyone's wishes.

But from her parents, she did learn what she could do with her power as a mother, and what she needed to do with said power. 

If Izuku was going there, Kitomi would too.

There were lots of reasons why Inko was doing this even while knowing her daughter didn't truly have the same passion as her son did- They weren't... going well, for one, financially. They weren't doing poorly, but other Hero schools that Kitomi might be aiming for... weren't close. 

Inko couldn't pay for two housings, and she wasn't prepared to make Kitomi pay for her own livings. UA was close, and Izuku was trialling to go there. ...Kitomi... could protect Izuku where Izuku couldn't protect himself.

Once Izuku's fails, Kitomi would drop out with him, and that would work out fine; they could work from then on out together. Most likely, Izuku would then apply for another course- the Gen-Ed one, but being so close to such dangerous things worried Inko as well, so Kitomi being there would greaten the security of his safety.

Confirm submission for UA Hero course?

Yes. 

Confirm submission for UA General Education course?

Yes.

'Mother,' She thinks, 'Is this the right decision? Is this a lie?'

"I did it for your sake. This is for your own good, Inko, and you'll learn in due time."

Inko did her duty as a mother.

"If you wanna be a Hero so bad, why don't you make it easier for yourself and take a swan dive off the roof? Maybe you'll have Quirk in your next life."

The words leave Katsuki's lips like soup drips down an infant's mouth. It takes him a second to register what he implied, and a few more seconds to convince himself that the golden stare boring into the back of his head was just his imagination. (What did Kitomi look like now? It'd been years.)

Deku stiffened before he relaxed, and his teeth are gritted as he turned to face him, staring at him with wide eyes. The strangeness of the gesture reminds Katsuki that that was the first time in a long while when they'd made direct eye contact.

Deku looks disappointed. In Katsuki.

It makes his molars grind, and bitter frustration rises within him. His snarl comes out in a baring of teeth- an ugly rendition of what others would call a 'smile'. The crackles in his palm are a second nature response to this feeling he has. 

"You got something to say, nerd?"

There's a moment when his green eyes steel, anger flashing through them, and Katsuki thinks that he'd say something like- "Yes. Fuck you." but instead his expression blanked and he looked towards the floor, face ashen. 

Katsuki's eyes narrow in satisfaction, and a bit of what feels reminiscent to disappointment. 

(It didn't make sense. It was similar to what he felt when he didn't hear the teacher reading off Kitomi's applications even though she hadn't been a student there for six years already.)

Izuku waited until Katsuki's loud footsteps disappeared before he moved. It was about the a thousandth time he thought this, but- 'Domi was right.' Izuku could've done so much to avoid this.

He could've dropped out with her. He could've lied. He could've agreed with Katsuki. He could've ratted him out to Aunt Mitsuki and Uncle Masaru. He even could've fought back to prove his worth. 

But Izuku didn't want to 'avoid'. 'Nothing ventured, nothing gained.' Izuku did this for himself. 

Izuku... 

He picked up the drenched notebook, flipping through it to gauge how damaged it was.

Izuku did this for himself.

He'd made the decision when he was little, and Kitomi had helped him keep to his word. He'd created a direction he'd set for himself, so he should keep his head high, and ignore what others had said to-

(Izuku could do absolutely nothing against the sludge Villain.)

(And later, he could do nothing to save Kacchan.)

He'd figured that he'd be criticised for his actions. Kitomi had constantly told him the foolishness of recklessness. Death Arms' rant didn't sound unfamiliar at all, and it all fell on deaf ears-

"You..." But Izuku snapped to attention at the familiar low, but cutting voice. It was almost comical how easily Death Arms' large form was pushed aside by Kitomi as she stalked up to him. "Stupid, reckless fool of a human being."

She looked haggard, like she'd sprinted all the way here in the span of a few seconds, hair dishevelled, clothes askew, blindfold completely gone. All not in the favour of Izuku as now he could very clearly see the rare panic in her distraught eyes.

"Look here, kid-" The Pro Hero said, a tad impatiently. 

Kitomi turned, pointedly looking at him. It seemed normal, by now, to see the man twitch at her stare. "You have something to say, Hero? "

And the word rolled out with a lot more sarcasm and acid than they both seemed to expect: Izuku gripped onto her arm warningly, and Death Arms frowned. He opened his mouth, before Kitomi cut over his first breath.

"Well, save it for the interviews." She muttered. "I can predict the textbook response to 'irrational relatives of Villain victims'."

His grip tightened, but Kitomi's eyes were flat, angry.

"'You're so sorry for your incompetence, but your Quirk wasn't suited for the situation, so standard procedures states that you wait for backup in case you get hurt along with the victim.'" She smiled thinly. "Right?"

Izuku eyed his sister carefully; it didn't seem like she was going to stop there- And he was right.

"Standard procedures and Quirks are also the best means to save someone, and you tried your best." Kitomi's voice, dripping in something a tad too close to disdain, climbed in volume, "So good on you for that, Hero."

Her voice dropped, her calm tone giving him a faux sense of comfort. "And Izuku is just too crazy to be held back, so none of it was your fault." The stare then turned to him.

Debating on whether to address her rudeness or her quietly violent worry, Izuku inhaled sharply, and decided on the latter. (Because the little voice in his mind agreed with her disapproval.) "I... can ex-"

"I saw it on the news." She continued quietly. "I saw it live. You don't need to explain anything. Let's just go home now."

"Wait-" A rough voice called out, but it was cut off instantly. 

Kacchan, Izuku remembered, glancing at him anxiously. The blonde had a scowl etched into his features, more prominent and darker than before. He was- angry? Now all the events were catching up to him, and he really had done something stupid- What if he got even madder at Izuku because of what he'd done, but he couldn't not do it when all the Heroes were just standing there doing nothing-

Izuku watched Kitomi's expression, which'd blanked again to a neutral, almost bored look. 

"Who even-" His voice was still hoarse, and shaking. It was drowned out by the protests of the police and Heroes who urged him to sit back down.

"Come on," She tugged on his arm, without giving Kacchan the slightest acknowledgement. "Let's go home."

-Kitomi-

My nails made crescents in my palm. I'd totally forgotten about canon. We were, what, fourteen now? Canon had begun already, and I'd forgotten it. Of course, there was no way to know the exact date, but if it weren't for the news shoving it in my face, I would've never remembered what happened in the first chapter of the manga.

What had happened? Katsuki got attacked... before then, Izuku had been attacked, and then All Might... with whom he was currently meeting with. 

The very encounter made my blood boil. Who was that old man to cut in between us and haul Izuku away, and who was Izuku to dismiss me by saying 'see you at home'?

Though that was where Izuku had his moment, his validation. ...But hadn't I... given him that already? So what was happening right now? The gap that I'd narrowed just widened again. Could I just never be enough? It was infuriating. 

Years ago we said we'd become Heroes together, a nervous bluff on my part, but a superficial hope on Izuku's. No matter what, I couldn't be his Kacchan, or his All Might. 

...Then my mind honed into the single line I vividly remembered in the first episode- 

"If you wanna be a Hero so bad, why don't you make it easier for yourself and-"

"Kitomi, did something happen? I heard something smash-"

"Forget the idea of passing the UA entrance exam, you damn ner-"

'Oh right.' I realised, stepping neatly over the scattered stationary on the floor. 'High school...'

"Mom," I asked, stopping Inko by standing in the doorway. "You hadn't happened to've already... submit my high school applications for me, had you?"

"Oh," She shifted her position, scratching her cheek. "I had, actually. I'd forgotten to tell you- Usually the Senseis at school remind their students, and because you're such a smart girl, you know, I would've thought that-"

"What school?" My heart thudded loudly, and my voice sounded distance. Inko loathed the idea of Izuku going to UA, so surely... it wouldn't have been-

"UA, of course."

"What."

Chapter Text

"I'm so excited!" Izuku squealed yet again, bobbing his head.

That 'excitement' was really the final thing that pushed me into complying with Inko's decision. (And how bad could it be anyway? I'd forgotten the details, but it hadn't been all Villain attacks... right? And how could I ever trust Izuku to stay safe by himself in this school?)

Although he hadn't told me a single thing about what truly went on between him and All Might, he'd gotten super chatty to me once he heard that 'I' had applied to UA. He hadn't really changed the schedule we'd planned together at first, but probably went to do the trash lifting thing instead of our usual runs together. The last two days though... I'd scarcely seen him.

And this morning, I'd woken up to his bed cold- and I'd woken at six thirty am- and a sticky note with a clumsily drawn smiley face stuck to my cheek. (He was fooling himself if he thought that that was enough to make me not grumpy at him when he returned.)

Would I still be able to soundly beat him in a spar, I wondered, after he gained All Might's Quirk?

"We're gonna be late if you say that one more time." I replied, slathering on a small smile. "Packing shouldn't take upwards of five minutes. Of course, if you hadn't disappeared in the morning, then-"

"I'd already eaten your egg for you..." He cut me off with a sheepish whine, "Don't be mad!"

"You like hard-boiled eggs, bloody maniac of a brother." I pretended to vomit. "Still, move it. We're leaving in two minutes."

"It takes two minutes to put shoes on!"

"Nah, that's ten seconds top."

"You're just next level, Domi." He rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "How did you even get to that?"

Why, what other than speed-preparing myself in the morning to catch the early 6:42 train to get to scho- I felt my head twinge for a moment. Oh right... I used to go to school pretty early in my... past... last? My previous life. Oh right, I hadn't always been 'Kitomi'.

-UA Practical Exam-

I eyed Izuku from the corner of my eye. "Hey, why do you keep on stopping and starting?" Other people were starting to give him weird looks. "Are you feeling sick?"

"Not exactly..." He murmured under his breath.

"Get lost, Deku! Don't stand in my way, or do you wanna fucking die?"

"Kacchan!" Izuku exclaimed, a hand making aborted gestures in front of his face. The other one clamped onto my forearm. For some reason, it felt like the movement deterred me less than it had years ago. My fingers twitched as I silently waited for Katsuki to even blink in a way I didn't like.

But he brushed straight passed Izuku and instead made an action of towering over me. It failed though, because we were practically the same height.

"And you, you creep." He growled, the familiar insult making me wary for a moment-

So did he recognise me or not? I was still wearing the blindfold for my last scrapes of anonymity before Katsuki would inevitably find out and blow up in my face. It didn't make me stand out or anything, and it was a pretty good and comfortable accessory as well, so...

"I don't know who you are or what relation you have with Deku, but you better not get in my way, or else."

Then he stalked away, a trail of whispers of 'Villain attack victim' and prying stares following him that prevented me from asking 'or else what?'

"You all right?" A cheerful girlish voice sounded behind me. I glanced at her before doing a double take. 

"Nii-san-" I coughed, sputtering. "Why are you-" Floating?! Then the thought- 'Uraraka' hit me, and I cursed my forgetfulness. How long had it been anyway? Fifteen years or so, since I had vivid remembrance of this manga.

"That's what I'd like to know!" He still squeak-replied to my cut off question. He kicked his legs a bit and righted himself mid-air.

"Sorry for using my Quirk there." Uraraka smiled as she let him down. "I just think it'd have been a bad omen if you tripped, you know? I'm so nervous... bet you guys are too!"

"H-Huh? Uh? Ah-"

"Nervous on behalf of my brother." I sighed, returning a smile. I had to at least try stay on good terms with her; she was an important character, I was half-certain.

She giggled before running ahead, "Well, good luck then! Later!"

Izuku gasped, cheeks pink. "I talked to a girl!"

"...I'm a girl." I deadpanned after a few seconds of watching him stare into the sky with a goofy expression. "And I was doing the talking."

He let out a whine, "Yeah you did. Now I looked lame... Do I really look nervous?"

"Everyone here does." I replied neutrally, ignoring how he cast me a pointed look.

"Everyone, hm?" He hummed doubtfully.

There was nothing note-worthy about Present Mic's 'live show' other than his ear raping voice, and Iida being more of an ass than I remembered. Basically it was just 'destroy as many robots as you can with attention to points'.

Then other key words- 'Ten minutes, bring whatever you like, classmates were separated'... Although since I wasn't on Aldera's list, I was seated with the other participants who also seemed to be home-schooled or something.

I didn't know whether or not I'd like to be in Izuku's group. Considering what I remembered from canon... probably not. He'd hate me if I barred his chances of getting in, especially with his lifetime's motivation riding on All Might.

Aggravation made me scowl, and as I was ushered to an unfamiliar group, I tore off my blindfold, and felt my Quirk metaphorically stretch its limbs.

"And... start! "

A collective 'huh?' sounded out as I burst forwards alongside few other participants. I immediately reached for the roofs of low buildings- the deeper I get, the more likely higher point robots would be. I then cancelled my Quirk and screeched to a stop.

Should I be trying to pass though? I glanced down and behind me- the group had only just started to scramble forwards. Yes, I should. I cursed my past selves for never thinking about this properly! Why didn't I just figure it out back then when I had the time to?! Now all I could think was that I definitely should get in, because why should I not? I have an idea of the future which could pose a major advantage, and if I didn't, I'd be separated from Izuku and he'd be with dangerous people.

That's bad.

So I had to get in. Simple as that.

Why exactly had I been so vehemently against the idea of being here anyway?

I saw a 1 point burst into the road and I assigned the ground as a Point, what seemed like the head as a Point and pulled, crunching the feeble metal into pieces. 1 pointers were fast, but weak; 2 pointers were fast and had strong guards; 3 points were fast, strong and versatile. 

The 0 point bot was just undefeatable. Apparently.

I felt my brain twinge, reminding me not to think while using my Quirk. I'd lost track of my point count. I was pretty certain that I'd pass, even if I didn't get into the top 10 or whatever. While I was here, I might as well use it as an experimental grounds.

I found that it wasn't hard for someone with a Quirk like mine to rack up points- it was mostly competition. And then it was a mental and physical crisis for those who had physically weaker Quirks or unusable ones.

I tested how high I could levitate something, how hard it was to twist something, how heavy I could lift, all while tugging the incompetent from what seemed like their deaths. Both for the rescue points I distantly remembered about, and to deny this generation's stupidity.

I thought- no wonder Villains and Vigilantes... no wonder Stain. How could someone, at this age already, not notice where their attacks were heading? Could they not put two and two together and realise that fly kicking a robot meant that it would land somewhere?

These coming generations were just messed up in the head. Naturally, humans just couldn't be 'Heroes'.

Then I felt hands shoving at my shoulders- weak, but filled with enough bony sharpness that I let go immediately. I glanced at the (dozenth or so) idiot that I'd yanked from his incoming death or very-bad-injury and stared, unimpressed.

Then I felt my brain wiggle a little in déjà vu; purple hair, dark purple eyes and eye bags the darkest shade of purple- It was that brainwashing guy- Shinso Hitoshi- that had mental issues. Oh well, that latter description was unnecessary as it described the entire cast.

After a beat of his face slowly flushing from what was either embarrassment or anger, he said- "I didn't need your help." Half-snappishly, half-lamely.

I kept staring.

His mouth flapped a bit and I distantly recalled him being quite popular amongst the fandom because he was 'cool'... or something. He was currently proving wrong. "...What would... What would someone like you with a-"

"Toughen up, little bitch." I told him in the sincerest tone I could muster. Somehow any intelligent, passive-aggressive insult was escaping me, so the profanity would have to do for now. "Are you here to get in or to whine?"

For some reason his emo-phase snark was irritating. Off the bat- from his posture to the expression on his face to his sickly, malnourished, and squishy body- I instantly decided that I wouldn't like someone like him. I could perhaps tolerate, but most likely never 'like'.

The dependence on Quirks dulled the human fighting spirit. If he honestly wanted to become a Hero, no matter what reason, he should've at least worked out or- by the looks of his face- gotten more than a few hours of sleep every day. But then again, mental issues, so who knows?

"Anyway," I continued, just in case I'd become his outlet of frustration. "You can tell me about your issues later. There is a time limit, you know?"

His mouth flapped a little more before he cracked his neck absently, "Well- yeah." 

And thus minutes rolled by again, I took note of how devastatingly painful it was to assign two different points- especially on heavy metal chunks, and how useless it was to try and twist something. I was reminded of all the shortcomings of my Quirk all over again, yet I was surprised- as always- at how much power my concentration could create.

And when the 0 pointer loomed above, shattering buildings and scattering debris, amongst the screams of children and the loud stomping of 'deserters', I recalled those adults who watched him suffocate.

There were few I loathed more than the concept of disappointment. Things that defied rationality. Hypocrisy. I could speak miles about how I detested this system of Heroes and Villains, but somewhere within me, I was fully aware that I could and would do hardly anything to lift a finger to fix it.

And amongst my washing machine tumble of thoughts, I could admit that, as much as I hate the term 'Hero', Izuku was a Hero, through and through. But me? What was I doing here? I felt compelled to fight this monster. Or not even 'monster'- this big block of metal painted in hideous greens. 

And why was I compelled?

I caught the eye of Shinso, who'd- like I- stood still within the rushing crowd, staring at the robot and then at me with something like helplessness, frustration, annoyance. These people... all of these people were idiots.

Those who could fight, ran; those who couldn't fight, stood. 

And he stood, even as a block of plaster fell behind him, dangerously close. Five people had been within arms' reach of him. No one even glanced at him. There was little to no middle ground in this world: Heroes were majorly lacking, and Izuku overcompensated and self-destructed. Where was the in between? The Underground Heroes? But they're practically irrelevant, no?!

And myself?

I tilted my head back up.

I watched the 0 pointer that everyone ran from, even those who could defeat it, or slow it down, or bring it down. They ran because they wanted to snatch the last few robots; because they were playing it safe; because they were going to become Heroes like the ones that had stood by because of their incompetence- like those Heroes who were not actually 'Heroes'.

But I could raise my hand and say 'me too'. That's why I don't want to become a big-time Hero. So what was it that spurred me?

Perhaps I thought it would be a good challenge? I could defeat it? It would reward me points? Perhaps I even felt the urge to help the ones too slow or injured to escape its rampage- I may be rather unsympathetic, but it didn't mean that I would easily turn away from what looks like a dying person. Perhaps the urge to match my brother?

I trained with the sole motivation of 'staying safe'. I pushed myself so that I wouldn't be pushed by other unexpected variables. Was that reason bad? Katsuki... had clearly found it lacking.

But right now, I could really only think about Heroes and their uselessness and even though they did the right thing, somehow, I still didn't like it and since I'm technically a kid, no one could blame me for projecting my aggravation onto expensive blocks of metal... right?

Shinso had also felt like that, right? Out of pettiness and spite, and the more severe, ingrained bitterness. ...'Me too.'

And so, I thought aloud-

"Hero, this is my spite to you."

And then I sprinted towards the monster.

"Izuku!" Inko cried. "Are you alright? Stop smiling at the fish!"

I stared at him as he mumbled a lacklustre reassurance. I couldn't say anything. I was certain I'd passed, but I'd drop it in a heartbeat if Izuku hadn't.

"The letter should come today or tomorrow right?" She smiled, and it looked so forced. My stare shifted to focus on her, and she noticed and stiffened a bit. "Oh dear, your mother thinks it's wonderful that you even tried!"

"Mhm." Izuku nodded numbly.

"The nurse told me you'd injured your arm." I prompted when I cornered him in his room. "Not even injured- broken, shattered, ground into dust. You have a Quirk now, don't you?"

"Wh-What?" He sputtered. "How did you- jump to that conclusion?"

"You'd usually be offended- hurt if I'd said that. Tick on suspicious." I instantly countered flatly. "And you're my spar partner on top of my brother: I know damn well how you can tank hits and redirect attacks; there's no way in hell you would've gotten an injury like that because of how cautious you are."

"Still. Everyone there was super powerful. And it doesn't relate to how I may've 'gotten a Quirk'."

"The only explanation to your sudden injury would be a bout of recklessness born from any sort of gained strength. The weaker one is, the more careful they are after all."

"Wh-" Izuku sputtered. "What?"

"You're so bad at lying." I eyed his expression. Even without prior knowledge, I would've known that something was off; especially since at this point he was defending instead of reacting like how better liars would in his position. "Describe what happened in the exams."

"There's nothing to describe, Kitomi." Izuku said quietly, sobering instantly. "I passed the written decently, but the practical is what counts. I got no better than a goose egg score."

"You could disable the robots by targeting specific points." I tilted my head, gauging his reaction.

"I know." He absently grabbed at the long knife on his desk and threw it upwards, watching it spin before he caught it. "But that was only- what? Three-five-six-ish points? People around me got dozens at the very least. Some had upwards to forty! Without a Quirk, it's just too...-"

"How did you hurt your arm?" 

He let out a bitter chuckle, "I punched a robot."

I paused, "How many points was it?"

Izuku raised his head to stare at me, a small, complicated smile on his face. "The 0 pointer."

"That's-"

"Stupid, right?" He laughed softly, and the acid in his gentle tones clashed horribly. "Reckless, meaningless, inane."

"Don't use my words." I muttered quietly, a little sheepish, or even wary. It unsettled me how those words- my words, and even Katsuki's words- could leave his mouth, his person. "Brave of you, I would add. What could've urged you to run towards that monster?"

"That girl in the morning..."

"With the float Quirk?"

"Yeah. I was... saving her."

"Did you succeed?"

"Yeah."

"Then that makes you better than those Pro Heroes present during the Sludge Villain incident." I watched him wring his hands. "I don't see why UA wouldn't accept you."

Then the beginning of tears began to form in the corners of his eyes. "You were angry at me for charging in before. But you were angry at those Heroes for not doing anything. I don't understand, Domi. What do you even want of a Hero?"

"Rationality and competence." I obligingly answered despite it not being the cause of Izuku's frustration. "I was mocking their incompetence. They did indeed make the right decision as a human being, but being a Hero means that they should've helped somehow instead of having a tea time chat over the pros and cons of getting sweaty."

Even I was confused about my opinion.

"But I don't like either, Nii-san, that's why you're confused. I dislike recklessness, but without recklessness, a person can't be saved in this era. What it means to be a Hero is to be flawless and independent. People take on that role, and promptly fail. I loathe it."

'I loathed the façade of 'All Might'. The idea, the concept, everything about what it meant to be the Symbol of Peace.'

But judging from Izuku's conflicted expression, it was not only I who bit their tongue to stay silent.

"I know something's changed, Nii, and you're hiding it from me." I murmured, noting his flinch. "I can't believe I'm still a source of your distress. You can tell me upfront whenever you're ready. You know I'll wait for it- even if it never comes. Your sincerity, I mean."

"The scores for the practical are out!"

Aizawa Shouta stared boredly at the blaring screen. 

"In first place with zero rescue points! In the second half, when the other examinees were slowing down, this guy just kept going at it! He's one tough cookie."

He looked like a tyrant, an Endeavour point two in the flesh. And that grin on his face- looked like a bunch of complexes stacked on top of each other.

"And on the other side of the spectrum, in fifth place, with seven Villain points- the lowest of all who passed, but sixty points for his final stand. Yes, others have stood against the 0 pointer in the past, but... it's been a while since we've seen someone actually take it down in one attack."

That was just immaturity embodied. If All Might had a favourite, it'd be idiots like that kid. 

"But at what cost? He was considerably damaged by his own attack... like a child getting the first glimpse of his power."

"A strange one for sure. He looks like a typical failure in every other way."

"Don't be so fast to say that." Someone cut in before Shouta could. "If it weren't for 'kill-stealers', he could've gotten more points. Agility, mobility, tactics... He got those seven points Quirkless and with competition."

"True... sure he's a little clumsy, and has sensitive nerves, but he's got that something."

"Right?! Who cares about the details? I like him! Kid makes me go 'YEAH!'"

"But the second places most desirable as the middle point between the two extremes. 48 Villain points and 26 rescue, totalling 74, just three points under Mr Explosives..."

"There are more things to note about this one though... Hesitance, and slack? She spent quite her time spacing out and talking to other contestants."

An understatement. She was treating this exam as a joke, and Shouta didn't know what to feel about that.

"You mean that one salty mini-Aizawa, but purple edition?"

"He gives me nostalgia to high school Shou!"

Shouta eyed the apparent mini-him on the screen and cringed; he could relate to the disgruntled expression on the Midoriya child's face. "Don't bring my younger self into this, Hizashi."

"-She also faced the 0 pointer."

"She didn't get the points though..."

"-Hey fun fact: they're twins despite their different appearances, 5th and 2nd, I mean."

"-And what did she say at the end? 'This is my spite to you'? You think she's a little more down... the grey end-"

"Don't get it twisted."

Shouta cleared his throat, speaking up. The amount of calories he got from that yoghurt pouch wasn't enough to sustain him talking for more than half a minute; hopefully this won't happen again.

"Context matters."

Luckily, the principal chimed in, "Remember the Sludge Villain incident less than a year ago? Midoriya-kun was the student that rushed in to save Bakugou-kun. The Heroes present were ill-suited to the Villain and stood by. I've inspected the footage after seeing their applications and recognising their names, and I believe there may be some problems we'd need to address regarding that."

"Spite isn't a very Heroic motive after all..."

"That is indeed why she did not get those extra points-"

"She had a lot of awareness though, when confronting it." One mused.

"That's the bare minimum-" One argued.

"-Which not many of the younger gen have." Another finished. "Most casualties were as a result of crossfire."

"Y'all debating for what? Who cares? Anything that gets the job done!" Hizashi whistled. "Whoo, she's so cool! I like, I like, indeed!"

"Still seems like a handful." Shouta grumbled, ignoring the rest of their discussion.

'I hope,' He thought, 'I don't get any of those three menaces.'

Aizawa Shouta slowly shuffled towards his designated class. He hadn't checked his roll in hopes of not seeing the three accursed names.

The first thing Shouta hears is a loud slamming, then a howl of- "So it was you, KITOMI! "

He peered through the door and- god damn it all.

Bakugou had one leg propped on his chair, and an arm pointing at Midoriya... the daughter one. Iida was making aggressive actions towards the 'indecency' of Bakugou's behaviour while Uraraka and Midoriya (son one) were frozen besides Midoriya (daughter one) by the doorway.

All three of them.

Great.

(And by that, he means 'FUCK'.)

Chapter Text

Ignoring the clamour, I scanned the room- trying to ignore Katsuki's disturbingly blank stare. Despite change in exam rankings, the class was mostly the same... apart from the addition of me.

I was conflicted by what this meant. I'd resolved myself to be slightly disappointed yet relieved at being in Class 1B because 'I was also a Midoriya, so why would I be in the same class as Izuku?' But it was water under the bridge, swift surprise, swifter acceptance.

The only thing was that there had to be someone I replaced, but I have no idea who. Unfortunately, it was not the despised Mineta. It was, luckily, not any of relevant characters like the fan service girl, Todoroki, Iida, Uraraka, frog girl, Katsuki's future best friend, or Izuku himself.

Well, so long as they weren't relevant, it didn't really matter, did it?

"-And you too, Mido- er, Midoriya-san... as well." Iida gave a boyishly awkward air chop in my direction. Did he assume who I was based on how I entered with Izuku? That... was a more aware observation than I'd expected from him, to be frank. "I'd recorded your outstanding result in the entrance exam, and aspire to attain your level of capability and beyond."

I blinked slowly under the cloth, feeling my eyelashes brush against it. "...Okay." I said haltingly, glancing quickly at Izuku who'd begun talking to Uraraka. "Well, with both of us Midoriyas in the same class, I'll be fine with just my first name. Use 'Midoriya' for-" 

Although I knew he knew because Katsuki wasn't deaf nor an idiot, I was still hesitant on confirming my identity in front of him. It was... almost embarrassing 'exposing my identity' like this.

"-Nii-san."

"Oh, er, are you sure? I don't mind either, and it'll be awkward for you." Izuku's eyes glanced quickly at Katsuki then back to me and then to Iida and then to an impossibly quick back-and forth between Iida and Uraraka. "Well, y-you can call me I-Izuku- if you wish, I mean, I guess it is a little early, but seeing as how it's kinda awkward with the two of us in the same class, I figure- I mean like Domi said, to just-"

"Very well then." Iida uttered severely, the robotic seriousness lessening my initial reproach of the boy. It was almost comedically endearing. "You may call me Tenya then, to partake in mutual amity." 

"Ochaco's fine too!" She giggled, "It's like we're close friends already!"

Then they turned to me, but before either of them could open their mouths again, Katsuki- who'd been silent in shock the entire time upon Izuku and my entrance- made a loud show of stepping one leg onto his presumed chair, finger pointing aggressively at my face. Then he bellowed-

"So it was you, Kitomi! The creep that doesn't listen to music when running on the treadmill!"

Huh?

There was a moment of stillness before Iida- Tenya now, I suppose, chopped a hand rigidly through the air and snapped- "Such disrespect in the classroom should not be condoned! As I said prior. There is absolutely no acce-"

"You know what disrespect is, Mr Snob School?" Katsuki's brow raised as he continued to bore his eyes into my skull. "Get that blindfold off, creep; I know you don't need them."

Now Iida's stare was slowly trailing to my face... or the half that was covered. It was supposedly rude to not show the eyes in a conversation after all. Even as I lose myself in this 'next' life thing, I still maintained a sense of mental displacement- especially in regards to Japan's strangely specific and polite social etiquette.

I feel my face sour as I obligingly lifted off my face covering, eyes lowered at the ground to adjust to the lighting and clarity.

"You don't know that." I began quietly. I was pretty dependent on my blindfold to keep me sane. Who knows whether or not I'd accidentally mutilate something again?

It was so bright like this, and I could instantly feel my Quirk jump at random points, flickering on and off erratically. I slid a metaphorical cover over it, squashing my Quirk's hyperactivity, before I set my eyes upon the boy I hadn't seen clearly for years.

He still looked like the saturation setting turned to +100; vivid to the point he was an eyesore. Upturned, violently angled and sharp eyes. Hair just as aggressively spiky as before, and his face having the same punchable expression- just with less baby fat.

"...Katsuki," I said- but basically spat with how easy it was to profane the enunciation.

In contrast, butchered as the origin of it was, my name was still lovely calming tones that rolled off the tongue with something like elegance.

"...You speak as an animal." 

Yet out of his mouth, 'Kitomi' sounded like the clash of wrongly timed cymbals. I had to resist the irrationally urgent need to snap- shut the fuck up, please.

"How many years has it been?" He grinned- more like a distasteful baring of his teeth. His tone was veering a little too much on the theatrical side. My eye twitched. I felt an falsely amused grin curl my lips.

"Why would I count? You really don't recognise me without my eyes?" I watched his eyes flick slightly upwards- my hair- then down to the fabric pinched between my fingers- the face covering, and then finally to my distinctively male school uniform. Even without him saying it, I got his point.

...True.

I had a niggling feeling at the back of my mind that it was problematic to wear the pants instead of the outrageously short and low quality skirt made of rough, itchy fabric... but, with the drastic comparison between the two gendered uniforms, I preferred comfort, even if there was the potential of misunderstandings. In a miracle, UA somehow didn't specify policies around it as well.

"So... Kitomi-kun, right?" Ura- Ochaco interrupted, brilliantly smoothly. "Nice to meet-"

"Get out if you want to play at being friends."

A low drawl sounded from directly behind me, sending shivers up my spine.

My entire body flinched as I whipped around. In an instant, I was braced in a stance that, though wasn't intense, wasn't anything easy-going either, small blade open and in hand. Roused from adrenaline, my Quirk lurched in what I could describe as exhilaration, honing into Aizawa- my new teacher's figure before I hurriedly stamped it down.

Izuku, along with majority of the class, had similarly stiffened, but it was less subtle as he was directly facing Aizawa.

"This is-" The sleeping bag unzipped a little before he slurped from... a yoghurt pouch? "-The Hero Course."

Only when he said those words did I shake myself out of my fight-flight-freeze, hurriedly returning my knife and futilely hoping that Aizawa hadn't seen it. A larger part of me knew that he did though.

It unnerved me though- his appearance.

I didn't even hear or register the shuffling or rustling of the sleeping bag- anything of his presence before he made it noticeable. It was... humiliating, put simply.

Being mentally more mature (though now it's debatable), I'd always had a better perspective on my surroundings than my peers did. I could brag of never being snuck up on before. I prided myself on awareness after all. It was what I taught to Izuku as well- to consider all possible factors and plan accordingly.

And yet even with prior knowledge of his appearance, I had been taken completely off guard. The first time being surprised and it was in this context. I had to consciously keep my hands from shaking. My heart was still racing. 

As he hobbled in, he brushed against my side, sleeping bag fabric making a shhh noise. With an internal lament, I traced his hands and caught a metallic glint before it disappeared out of sight.

One weapon. Confiscated. Already. It wasn't like I was being a rebellious teenager by holding one. It was just a safety precaution, yet... 

Izuku glanced at me with a slightly apologetic, slightly amused expression.

"Okay. It took eight seconds for you guys to quieten down." The sleeping bag dropped and pooled on the floor, revealing messy hair, an unshaven face, and a person more haggard than I remembered. "Time is limited. You kids aren't rational, are you?"

"He's a Pro Hero too, right?" Izuku asked quietly besides me.

I leant slightly towards him, and he did the same as I murmured back- "I know him. He's an Underground."

"I'm your homeroom teacher, Aizawa Shouta. Pleased to meet you." And said with the blandest possible voice.

Before the class could respond, or even process, he continued- "Hurry up now. Change into your gym clothes and head out to the grounds."

I paused and turned around. Basically half the class was watching me, not subtle in the least. Izuku tilted his head sideways, eyes wide in confusion. I held back a groan and shooed him into the change rooms. 

That's right.

A group of morons were huddled in front of the change rooms to see which one I'd enter. Maybe Tsukauchi wasn't as dramatic as I thought; I really was considered 'androgynous'. Japan and their stereotypes... Even in the age of Quirks, I was surprised how old world norms managed to wrestle their way through.

Since I was basically a recluse, I hadn't really aligned myself with them, so this was really disorienting.

I could get why I seemed stereotypically masculine: male uniform, short hair, broader shoulders and a frame that was relatively muscular- though that wasn't really noticeable under uniform. I wasn't lacking in breast fat- a B was already larger than my past life, but I was substantially below average in that in comparison to other Japanese females. A sports bra and, again, the uniform's blazer, was enough to make it ambiguous.

I had a low and uninflected voice- mainly because I'd isolated myself from society and hadn't adopted Japan's 'upbeat' or high-pitched way of 'female speaking', and maybe that was 'masculine' as well?

I did hold stereotypical femininity as well: my name, for one, and upon uncovering half my face, my eyes and face shape were feminine as well. My voice's natural sound was feminine, and my demeanour would be fitted into a 'feminine' category at this age. As in: maturity or responsibility wise.

But that was about it. Again, I didn't really have any noticeable figure- kudos to the pants and blazer, so I suppose the confusion was understandable, especially since now I looked sort of similar to Izuku, who was distinctly male.

"...Kitomi's a girl, everyone." Jirou broke the silence with something like exasperation. "I saw this coming from a mile away."

"You don't know that." Kaminari burst out, face red from what seemed like... social exertion. He appeared much more nervous than I remembered. "They're wearing the boy's stuff and has a boy haircut!"

"Biologically a girl, at least." Asui added. "There is a social consensus that uniform equates to associated gender."

"But she-he doesn't have boobs unlike that babe Yaoyoro-" Mineta started before I faced to stare at him, unimpressed, and he yelped, cutting himself off. 

"Laughable." I said flatly before walking into the girl's changing area. "I am born and registered as female, though if it really bothers you, address me with whichever pronouns you wish; short purple ball guy, don't address me at all."

Gender was merely a label that some find comfort within. I am simply the neutral, judging it with nothing more than the associated stereotypes. 

If being a male made me stronger, I would be a male. If being a female made me more sensible, I would be a female. Biological processes such as the rate of the brain maturing, or the level of testosterone produced... That was all what gender was to me.

I sighed quietly as I neatly folded the uniform. Well, there was indeed confusion, but the confusion was debunked immediately.

"Ooh, nasty scar you've got there." Jirou winced as she shuffled besides me.

"Hm? Oh." I glanced onto my arm. It was rather noticeable. Three long scars running down my arm, starting from just above my elbow. They were evenly spaced as well, so I couldn't hide it in any way if I turned a certain angle. "I got that a long time ago."

"Quirk awakening?" She asked with necessary caution, making my eyes narrow.

"I doubt it." I deflected. "My Quirk is just force. 'Invisible Effect'. What about you?"

"You can see it right here. Earphone Jack." Her ear lobes- if they could be called that- waved at me.

I smiled amusedly. 

"We really introduced our Quirks before ourselves!" Jirou laughed. "'Kitomi'... is alright? Jirou Kyouka. You can call me Kyouka."

"Nice to meet you." I said obligingly. I really couldn't with these social interactions.

"You don't seem bothered by what happened just then." Kyouka prompted. "I can't say the same. I used to have the same problem, but I threw a hissy fit. Like, what's even feminine? I'm feminine, and screw whoever screws with me."

I smiled again, "That's rather admirable though, isn't it? Better than being completely passive."

"I think," Ashido- a surprising interruption- cut in, "That you aren't passive at all! When Mineta- that little rascal- was talking about Yaoyorozu-"

"Huh?!" Yaoyorozu exclaimed. "Mineta-kun?"

"Yes, him. It's only the first day, but I've caught him ogling so many times!" Kyouka scowled.

"But fear none, Yaoyorozu-chan! I was prepared to throw hands, but- dun DUN! " Ashido made a dramatic gesture that was a few centimetres away from a JoJo reference. "The cool and calm Kitomi-chan stares coldly and instantly cuts him off!"

I blinked a bit to process that.

"Oh, by the way, I'm Ashido Mina. 'Mina-chan' is welcomed!" She grinned, holding up a peace sign. "Same for you, Kyouka-chan, Yaoyorozu-chan."

"...Momo is alright. Though a little inappropriate, it seems Class 1A is already quite intimate."

"How about Yaomomo?" Mina suggested with a grin. "Perfect nickname; half-formal, half-not!"

"I-I'd be honoured."

We both awkwardly murmured a response. It was the full spectrum of introversion and extroversion. Myself, with a loner demeanour. Kyouka, an ambivert. Momo, with an extroversion that would be complimented by society. And Mina, a full-blown gyaru-type extrovert.

"But Mina... -chan was right." Kyouka added. "Kitomi was kinda cool."

"I think Mina was exaggerating a bit." I smiled hesitantly. All it takes was a stare to be cool? Then again, Todoroki and his fanbase... Even being in the background was something worth squealing about. "But thank you, I suppose."

"And everyone thinks they're passive until something they care about is touched." Mina smiled back. "We'll all find out as we grow, I guess."

"Perhaps."

"A test of our Quirks?!"

"What about the entrance ceremony?! Or guidance sessions?!" Ochaco cried.

"No time to waste on that stuff if you want to become Heroes." Aizawa deadpanned back. 

I resisted the urge to gape. Was he really like that in the manga?

Then his expression turned less nonchalant- "UA is known for its 'freestyle' education system. That applies to us teachers as well."

'Freestyle' system? Did that mean they weren't based off a syllabus or...

"Softball throwing. Standing long jump. 50 metre dash. Grip strength. Side to side stepping. Upper body training. Seated toe touch." He listed. "You did all these in middle school, right? Your standard no-Quirks gym tests."

Right. The strange test Aizawa did at the very beginning. It's fine. I could pass above average in all of these as a breeze. I hadn't been doing nothing all those years after all.

"This country still insists on prohibiting Quirks when calculating the averages of those records. It's not rational." Aizawa glanced at Katsuki. "Bakugou, how far could you throw in middle school."

"Sixty-seven metres." 

"Great. Now try it with your Quirk. Do whatever you need to. Just don't leave the circle, and give it all you've got."

Katsuki grinned before he flexed his shoulders and stretched them. "Awesome." 

I watched as he swung the ball, adding an explosion to the end of it. A large BOOM resounded in the air along with his scream of- "DIE!"

I could see everyone's expression mould into blank surprise. I already knew that this was one of 'Bakugou Katsuki's main defining trait. I held back a groan. He'd gotten worse. Honestly, how did Mitsuki and Masaru deal...

A slight beep made me turn back to Aizawa again. "It's important for us to know our limits. That's the first rational step to figuring out what kind of Heroes you'll be."

Distance: 705.2m 

That was ridiculously far. How harshly had Katsuki trained his Quirk? They used to be nothing more than a little burp. Now... Now an offhanded explosion like that could...

"Whoa! This is awesome!"

"705 metres? Seriously?"

"So we can use our Quirks for real! Man, the Hero Course is so great!"

I simply stared at Aizawa, remembering now, what he was going to say. 

"'Awesome'... you say? You're hoping to become Heroes after three years here. And you think it'll be all fun and games?"

He raised his head, eyes boring into ours under his hair. "Right. The one with the lowest score across all eight events will be judged hopeless... and will be expelled."

Then the class went loud again. In protest, shock, confusion.

"Your fates are in our hands. Welcome." He grinned. Terrifying, threatening, promising. "This is the Hero Course of UA."

Brilliantly executed. I felt my eye twitch. 

50 metre dash.

I hesitated. I could, theoretically, push myself hard enough that I clear the mark in one leap, but I hadn't tried it that far before- at least in this type of situation, so better to play it safe. I was above an average citizen anyway.

Average score.

Side stepping.

I focused one leg to push myself off the ground with my Quirk, and the other leg to rebound off the ground. I had to be careful not to accidentally damage myself by going too fast.

Average score.

Throwing.

I slowly walked into the circle. I had no idea what would give me the better outcome. Pushing it off my hand? Or pulling the ball towards something in the distance?

The former would give a larger force of push, so it was probably a better option... But it would also mean less control and a faster process.

"Midoriya," Aizawa cut through my thoughts. "Hurry it up. Are you daydreaming over there?"

I nearly scowled before I blanked my expression and took my position.

I felt my abdomen flip as I called upon my Quirk. This should be the easiest one for me, yet-

Yet-

Yet-

Yet just as I was about to throw, I felt my Quirk build up a force that terrified me. 

(My shoulder was going to rip off.

My elbows will tear.

My skin would peel.

My bones would be crushed.)

Wait a second.

DEATH.

It felt like something was going to explode off my hand, rip something to pieces. It was so close. It was on me. That power lingering right in my palm and there was something there and I couldn't- I mustn't- kill it again-

Since when had it gotten so powerful? I'd been so careful to use a little so I had good mastery, but without that blindfold, I could see everything. Too clearly. And everything I focused on. It was too close. It was too dangerous. I had to stop. I had to- had to stop.

(I felt a sinking feeling in my gut, and by instinct, I pulled back my Quirk, and wondered why it was so hard to do that now. I can't control it anymore.)

Every single thing that I looked at would twist and pull and push against each other until its-

-Skin would rip and its guts would rupture and blood would spurt and the eyes would bulge out, bloodshot, and-

The ball landed with a thud at my feet, and my arm returned to my side.

A moment of silence then- beep.

Distance: N/A

("Midoriya, what was that? Go agai-")

What was I doing here again?

"We're going to talk about what happened during that Quirk Apprehension Test." Aizawa sat on top of the desk besides mine.

It was after school. And I was asked to stay behind.

What a real pain in the neck. First day of school and I was already veering off my plan of blending in. How irritating. It seemed like some otherworldly force just wanted me to stand out. The second yolk. Why give a miracle to one like me anyway? I don't even like eggs.

I turned sideways so I faced him and tilted my head in questioning.

"As in, why you didn't expel me?"

"It was a logical ruse." He deadpanned.

"No," I blinked. "It was not."

"Maybe, maybe not." Aizawa shrugged off. "But that isn't the point. I'm not going to talk about the semantics; only about what happened because if I'm going to teach you, I need to figure out some things."

"You'd criticised Izuku. Why don't you ask for him as well?"

"I read his file and can fill in all the blanks pretty easily." His eyes lowered for a moment. "I do owe him a talk as well."

I nodded and stayed silent.

After a few seconds of staring, he asked carefully. "Why do you think you placed last place?"

Chapter Text

"We're going to talk about what happened during that Quirk Apprehension Test."

"As in, why you didn't expel me?"

After a few seconds of staring, he asked carefully. "Why do you think you placed last place?"

"Incompetence and lack of control." I immediately answered. My scores weren't anything outstanding and that throw- or lack thereof- is what dropped it drastically. The exercises after the throw were all a blur, but I wouldn't've used my Quirk, so they would've been mediocre.

"Wrong." He countered instantly. "I saw the footage of the entrance exam. You have power in spades, enough responsibility to handle it, and basically fine control from what I've seen and concluded... at least in the aspect I was considering. That's without taking into account your skills Quirk otherwise. ...And I hadn't even seen as much as I should've."

'Basically'. I didn't have any good control.

I pursed my lips, "I've been deemed with potential. I have potential and I'm not immature or reckless. What else could it be other than the incompetence to carry it out?"

"Guts." Aizawa said begrudgingly. "I was here to talk more about your Quirk, and I can't even believe I'm making this speech, but you wimp out. You're the opposite of your twin. There is no feeling worse than seeing everything that should be perfect be ruined by such a trivial thing."

It took a few moments to process the last sentence.

"Trivial?" I echoed, feeling something hot twinge in the pits of my stomach. "Wimp out?" My brows lowered subconsciously. "I don't-"

"I've seen the footage of you shoving Death Arms aside; I'm not talking about that sort of courage. Courage within yourself."

"It's rationality." I said sharply, defensive. "Why should I put everything on the line-"

"-'When you can just reach the quota of 'good enough''? Again: the entrance exam. You made sure you did enough to pass. You were treating those bots as playthings. Everything else? 'Spite', I heard." He narrowed his eyes. "That's where you go wrong. See how you didn't even question how you're 'everything that should be perfect'? That implication? You know you're good because you worked for it. But that's it. When it gets to the results, you don't fight to earn the title you'd worked so hard for."

"I..." Did I work for it? I worked enough. I worked the necessary. It was to remove uncertainties in the future. It was all to make sure that I... lived peacefully.

"Your standards may be high, but your ambitions go nowhere. And you still need to work. You always need to. Whatever's motivating you right now is gonna stop eventually. You'll burn out. Suffer from nothing but your own mind. I'm surprised you've managed to even keep it up until now when you're fourteen. ...What's your dream?"

Dream.

"Every kid has one."

My lips parted in an inhale, but I simply exhaled afterwards. I could feel his half-lidded eyes boring into my head.

"Why-" Aizawa waited until I stopped dodging eye contact. "Why are you even here? "

I...

Then silence.

'I don't know.'

And suddenly I felt shame.

It felt humiliating. I wanted him to keep talking, brush it off as a rhetorical. But he wanted an answer, and that answer... I didn't want to say it. 

'For Izuku. Inko. Wasn't that... enough?'

'To have a smooth life?'

It was pathetic. It sounded bad as soon as the words formed in my mouth. It made sense in my head, but- but...

More silence.

I looked away.

I ducked my head.

Aizawa clicked his tongue.

"I can figure out why you're in UA: because your brother is here and because it's close to your house. Not because this is ranked number one for heroics and considered as the top Hero academy in Japan."

After a beat, I replied defensively, feeling suffocated- "I'm not meaning to insult others by thinking the way I do."

"I didn't say that." And he continued, "And I didn't imply that either."

"I'm not going to fall behind." I tried again, failing to see what he was asking of me.

"I know." Aizawa squinted at me. "You won't, but at what cost?"

"What does cost mean in the face of results?" I challenged weakly.

"What does ambition mean in the face of death?" He retorted. "Pick apart your own words and you'll end up with some sort of nihilism."

"...So you're telling me to be more carefree?" I hesitantly offered.

He paused, "You barely reacted to my general character, the sleeping bag, and never displayed any excitement. I criticised the inappropriate bits of that, yes, and I also don't tolerate dumb judgement, but I expected it. Even Asui, Iida, Yaoyorozu... the 'sensible' of the lot, had a kiddish gleam to their eyes, or some sort of displeased surprise at my character. There's a difference between being irresponsible and being innocent."

"...You're implying I don't have 'innocence'." I said slowly, and with a tinge of distaste. "Violence is around the corner in most parts of Japan-"

"That's not what I was talking about either." Aizawa sighed exasperatedly. "Events don't equate to emotions or maturity like that. This is why I hate everything in the psych department; it's all relative. In essence, you're growing strangely. You twins both, but you more so. It makes me question your parents- parent."

"Inko loves us." I shot back.

Then he simply stared for a few more seconds and I flicked my eyes to somewhere over his shoulder then back to his face. Why did that sound... strange-

"Not 'mother' or 'mom', huh." Aizawa drawled. "Well it's not my place to question it- actually, it technically is, but whatever. Bottom line is that you don't end up regretting how you spent your life."

I scoffed before I could stop it.

The silence returned.

My mouth flapped a bit before- "It's forfeit anyway."

This was my second life. I'd thought like that since birth. That's why I could do what I do. But saying it was- Saying it aloud was-

The silence felt louder. 

It's not like I was a suicidal. So stop- 'So stop looking at me like that. It really isn't that.' 

"It's fraud." I muttered, as if to defend my previous blurt. My voice trailed off, quieter and quieter. "I don't- I don't think I'd... regret anything that I..."

The silence dragged, and was so thick that I felt like even twitching would somehow shift the structure of the world. 

"...That I..." I slowly began to worry my lower lip between my teeth. It was only the first day. What was I even doing here?! 

"...A classroom of problems." He groaned, slowly slapping his face and dragging his hand down it. I sat there. And silence passed yet again.

Tentatively and quietly, I-

"I still don't understand why I wasn't expelled." 

Aizawa pursed his lips and sighed. "This was the last thing I expected I had to explain. And I was planning to get you to explain your Quirk to me. The registered descriptions don't tell me the mechanics behind them."

I waited expectantly, and eventually, he sighed again. "What makes a good Hero other than All Might's blabber about compassion or whatever? Power, tick. Control, tick. Responsibility, tick. Awareness, tick. You have that. The basics. The foundation."

This time, he was staring expectantly.

"But what you lack," He said slowly, as if explaining to a child. "-Is what makes people become Heroes in the first place: the desire to become a Hero."

It felt so threadbare and foolish. That was obvious...

"You skipped," He shook his head, brows furrowed, "-What makes a person a person. Do you have anything there-" He poked his index against my forehead. "-That isn't all facts and planned out statistics that measure out the percentages of happiness or sadness? It's all logic, and nothing else. In some way, that's childish."

Childish?! His sharp glance stilled my bristle. 

"Not as in you're stupid or immature; it's simplistic and restraining. You're making yourself up as a child, or someone just as insignificant as one. That isn't normal. I didn't expel you, Midoriya, because of anything, this shouldn't be the thing that stops you."

"If you realised- if you think that that was what stopped me from scoring higher, then shouldn't you've felt more urge to expel me? Cuz you said it was a trivial thing, and if such a trivial thing stopped me, then surely I must be just that bad or something."

"Perspective. You excel at what you excel because you sacrificed the 'ease' of that."

"So this isn't actually- That isn't something that can be fixed, right? For me? If you think I don't want to be here, why didn't you- expel me?" I was so confused. Aizawa came off as so harsh as well. 

"You would've became a Hero anyway." Aizawa stated, like a fact. "Any other school would've passed you easy. You're a prodigy. An all-rounder, and hard-working to boot. It's frustrating. And it's a... teacher thing that no one expects me to have."

My mouth flapped again. I felt so... chastised. I was frustrating? I was... considered a prodigy? That praise didn't feel worthy. I was given an advantage and only did the bare minimum.

"Nedzu would also probably murder me if I expelled a gold mine. I'm not even talking about a 'gold mine' as in Yaoyorozu who's rich, or Iida who's from a Heroics family, or Bakugou who has a strong Quirk, or Todoroki who's Endeavour's kid. I'm talking about the rare kids that any person with a brain could look at and realise: that's it right there."

"...I don't have low self-esteem," I said haltingly, "But that's stretching it a bit far, isn't it?"

"I know the standard for Heroes better than you do." He shut down immediately. "Nedzu gave you to me because of how our mentalities align in some ways. Anyway, if you applied to another school, it would've been tug of war over you because if you just gained a little more gut, then you're already on the path to getting the license."

"Like I said, I'm not actually..." I wasn't actually that good. I didn't have control over my Quirk. Not completely anymore. "My Quirk is unstable. It's..."

"At your beck and call." Aizawa shook his head with a humourless smile. "I can tell these kinds of things, having to deal with this Quirk of mine. Your twin was also an absolute monster at that question about Quirks on the written exam; Nedzu wouldn't shut up about that in the staffroom. Surely you two had done some testing on it."

"...Yes." I said slowly. "That's why I can- despite proven differently- display fine control with my Quirk... at a distance... with my vision covered." 

"Yeah. Nah." Aizawa shook his head again. "Your obstacle is a beam in the dark. It's obvious to the point where I'm disappointed you didn't get it instantly."

"P-Pardon?" I raised my eyebrows, wondering why my (should be considered) rude tone hadn't been called out yet, and how far I could push it. "To feel disappointment means to have expectations. Today is the first day of school."

"Brilliant. You already know how I work. The first advice I'll give, that you indisputably have to follow, is to never wear your blindfold at UA."

"Impossible." I instantly deadpan.

"It's indisputable." He instantly countered.

I blinked rapidly and resisted the urge to press against the bridge of my nose. I did not expect such treatment. Usually, with the way I talk, teachers or older people would've either ignored me completely, or lambast me for my blunt tone. Tsukauchi was an exception, as were most of his co-workers, but I never saw them as that much above me. More like... friends. As strange as that sounds in my mind and aloud.

As such: I hadn't really held an intelligent conversation with many varying people before. What's even more bizarre than his apathy was his ability to shut everything I said down with a reasonably solid rebuttal, an authoritative air I'd actually listen to, and a largely unmoving face.

"...For a compromise, I won't wear it in your presence?" I offered, a bit shakily. What if I... A ghostly whimper sounded in my head. Crusted fur, browning grass. Red. Brown. Black. The child wailed.

My mouth was sour. I hope it didn't show on my face. What if I... "Please?"

He stared again and I couldn't help but wince.

"Okay." Aizawa shrugged boredly. "Baby steps, I guess."

'Indisputable', my ass! He caved so easily? I did a double-take at my own mental processes, pretty surprised at the amount of emotion his nonchalance could provoke.

"But still..." He hums. "I'm just looking at you and thinking... 'What a bloody waste.'"

At those words, I glanced away onto the floor, face flushing with lips pressed together. I gritted my teeth. Who was he to say that? "Then... what do I do? What was the beam in the dark you saw?"

"Eh. 'Why do you want to do something?' That's what you need to figure out before improving."

Because I'm at the bottom of the ladder of course. I had to reach the average and disappear within the classroom. I'd live life smoothly, and only for Izuku and Inko. Then I'd die in a way that'd make them cry less. I wouldn't die on a battlefield- Arghh. 

All stupidity is logical in the face of ignorance. Now that he had the decency to intrude upon my perfectly crafted self-delusions, I wouldn't have the peace to think of such things.

It was good, perhaps I could acknowledge, but I hated it. The feeling of conflict and confrontation. And I had the sense that he'd barely scraped the surface of it as well.

"You could be one of the most outstanding students in this already outstanding cohort, Midoriya." Aizawa sighed and shifted to a crouch on the floor, pressing my confiscated pocket knife into my hand.

In the end, I couldn't even think of anything else to say. I opened my mouth. I closed it. Then tried to speak again. "...Isn't it difficult to have two Midoriyas in your class? I am a Mitsumeru as well. You can call me that if it's easier." I turned to look at him.

It felt painful to hold his neutral, assessing stare. I'd never felt so inferior before. There was nothing of this man that I could judge. 

He was probably the only person that could be my 'Sensei'.

"You twins are indeed very difficult." He sighed, and it was definitely in more than just our names. "You identified yourself as Midoriya first, so I'll have to stick to that. ...At least until I get tired of juggling the two of you and your names."

"...Sensei?" I asked, voice the quietest it's ever been, and not even because I wanted it to sound like so. "May I be dismissed?"

He eyed me again, face blank. Then one of his teethy grins stretched across his face and he made a shooing motion. "You're dismissed, kid."

I did not run. 

-Aizawa Shouta-

He was still sitting there minutes after the student left.

Indeed, she had not been 'excited' in the least. If anything... He remembered the tenseness in her shoulders. If anything, she was scared. And the notion makes him want to laugh! 

What of him was worth that level of 'fear'? Yet it wasn't even the sort of fear from trauma or whatever; it was fear of the unknown. Her attitude didn't suggest fear of him, nor his label as her teacher. She avoided... his eyes. 

What was in one's eyes? ...About everything. It was mentioned that she didn't attend school for most of her life; did she have a distaste for teachers? Classroom settings? No- it was just him. Yet she didn't seem hostile either; just wary. 

Was it because he was an adult? There hadn't been many adult figures in her life. Midoriya Inko? Considering the twins' parents and their presumably (relatively) isolated childhood, they must've gotten their personalities from their mother, by theory of nurture.

If Inko was abusive- explaining Midoriya Izuku's timidness- by process of elimination, she would have a personality like Midoriya Kitomi.

But Izuku takes the 'dominant' role in their sibling relationship- obvious from how Kitomi is mostly always beside or behind him, and is always the one being subtly comforted. That being said, considering how they were twins as well, there was a small chance of Izuku acting so jumpy because of domestic abuse; otherwise Kitomi's personality would repel him in some way.

Yet from how they acted, it seemed like Kitomi's personality was the anomaly and Kitomi was the one needing of support.

So, Inko is probably timid. Reserved, insecure, tearful, vulnerable. Izuku took upon that. And Kitomi saw the flaws within that and acted as a complete opposite in rejection.

Supposedly.

But assuming that's somewhat right, an independence streak would've formed, explaining her isolation from society and her competence in both the written and the practical exam. This meant that she had little to no adult contact, and-

An inflated ego, in some way shape or form. With only comparisons to her mother, brother, average teachers and average classmates, she was superior; that was a fact. But something like that left untreated would form problems.

What a kid. A kid. Kid. Kid. Kid. The word seemed to fit her perfectly in his eyes. Yet the world and herself saw her as a grown up.

And she didn't want to confront them like a typical teenager. She just left them to fester and form into a gigantic mess of mental fuck-you's. But that was it to what was 'typical' about her. Basically, Aizawa was going to have to raise her all over again. 

What a colossal pain in the arse. Imagine him, Aizawa Shouta! Doing such a thing that no amount of income could tempt him to do.

Fourteen years worth of 'back in my days' life advice, lecturing, pulling by the ear, talks on respect, patting the head- Nup.

HAH! No way. 

It's his job.

Fuck.

(Speaking of which, wasn't Tsukauchi researching about this Mitsumeru guy a while back...? He had mentioned it was for a favour of a peculiar child-)

"How was your first day, Kitomi?" Inko asked tentatively.

I shook my head.

I let out a noise akin to a door creak into my pillow when I felt sixty kilos of Izuku splat onto my back in a perpendicular angle.

I grunted a 'what'. Then an incomprehensible 'get off' after a few seconds of no response. Izuku simply adjusted himself for comfort, propping his elbows onto my mattress and shuffling around. 

"Uhhhhh," He started, "Uh. Did Aizawa-sensei say something bad?"

After a beat, I faced to the side so I could talk. "What do you think he said?"

"Not the mind games again..." Izuku whined. "I don't know! I can't think of anything Sensei could've said that would've made you this upset."

"I'm not upset." I said plainly. "I am simply... pensive."

"'Pensive'." He echoed, managing to look reprimanding even with the softness of his expression. "Lies. There's more to it than that. I'm your brother- I'm your twin. I can read your mind at this point!"

"I really am just pensive!" I repeated, more insistently. "Or maybe not 'just', but what other word to use? Embarrassed? It was like a slap in the face-"

"You got slapped in the face?" Izuku asked sharply, tone instantly flat.

"N-No, Nii-san!" I snorted- then wheezed at the pressure on my stomach. "Also get off!"

He then positioned himself so that he was facing me. He blinked. "So, what happened? We basically tell each other everything-"

"Apart from Heroics." I interrupted quietly- weakly, squeezing my eyes shut, so I didn't see his reaction. There had always been a discord between us about that. We had never been able to meet a compromise on this- it was just reciprocated frustration and confusion. We hadn't ever even agreed to disagree.

"You haven't even told me about..." I opened my eyes.

"...All Might." Izuku finished, near silent. He faced the ceiling, arm extended and hand outstretched to the light.

"Yeah." I replied faintly, surprised he was willing to say even that.

After a few beats of silence, he let out a chuckle. "...Now? ...It- It isn't my secret to share. You told me about that- consequences of an action. I- This wasn't something I..." He trailed off, tone sombre.

"But out of everyone, I feel like I owe it to you the most, Kitomi. Because you were the only one who believed in 'Quirkless Deku'." His voice wavered. "Even I didn't."

I moved to face the ceiling as well.

"And on the reasons why I didn't kill myself long ago, you rest on the top."

I watched as his hand closed into a fist.

"It's called 'One for All'." Izuku said, voice unbetraying of his emotions. It was simply a trembling monotone with a touch of weariness. "An inheritable Quirk from All Might. I'm his protégé. His legacy."

Silence permeated the air, but it wasn't as awkward or uncomfortable as ones we had before. 

"You already know why I'd be angry." I exhaled in a tired sigh.

"You don't sound even a little bit angry." Izuku laughed lightly. "Nor shocked, nor doubtful. I knew it; even if I try so hard, I'll never be as considerate as you are. You believe me in a way that makes me disbelieving."

I flinched. Is that how Izuku saw me? There was not one ounce of truth in the truth he believed. I believed him because of my own knowledge, not because of-

"I don't know what it's for exactly... it feels like there's so much, but for what it's worth, I'm sorry, Domi. I feel like I had to say that. That I have to say it a thousand- a million times. Maybe it's the wrong time, or maybe it's completely irrelevant right now. I'm sorry, Domi." He continued. "For real. It feels like us two as twins... just clash."

And the final two words felt like a stab in the heart, even as I realised that far before Izuku probably had. "I know." My voice cracked. Somehow my mind spun this sincerity of his to be equivalent to Izuku caring less.

If he could talk about this so openly, he must be worrying less about the result of this conversation. He must care less about me. Now that he had All Might. And his legacy.

"You really don't want to talk about what Sensei said?" 

"'What a bloody waste.'"

"...No."

"...Do you want to quit UA?" Izuku asked in an even quieter voice. 

It felt like another knife in the chest. He wouldn't mind if I left UA. He has All Might. And his legacy. He had canon. His story. His path to becoming the number one Hero. Izuku was growing without me.

"Can we just not talk anymore?" My ears rung and the outlines of the light on the ceiling became blurred. My voice must be terrible at hiding my emotions. 

I could hear Izuku shifting- presumably to face me. His voice was gentle in a way that reminded me of Inko, but I didn't loathe it. 

"Okay." He said.

Chapter Text

"You have Midoriya Kitomi in your class?" Tsukauchi hummed. "My condolences, Aizawa."

"Thanks." He replied dryly. "So you do know them. The twins, I mean."

"You have both of them in your class? Damn. Double condolences." Tsukauchi winced before he began pulling up the student list. He was in the inner circle of things, so of course he had it. "UA really needs to start dividing their students properly. That Bakugou-kun- childhood friends. ...'Friends'. And look here, you even have Kitomi's cousin here."

"Huh?" Aizawa glanced at where he was pointing- Uraraka? Seriously? "You're kidding me. Did you tell her?"

"Who?" Tsukauchi paused then mouthed 'oops'. "...I don't think so. Because I didn't think it was relevant... The Urarakas are the only extended family on Kitomi's father's side that she has, but she said she didn't really care to meet with him or whatever. Dad-daughter stuff. But if they're in the same class..."

"I'll pass on the word." Aizawa sighed exasperatedly. As expected of All Might's close friend: just as scatterbrained. "Anyhow, I came here to ask for information."

"Urgh, I have enough work as it is." He pouted, "What is it?"

"About Kitomi. Obviously." Aizawa rolled his eyes. 

"No, really?" Tsukauchi immediately perked up. "Aw, is this Aizawa Shouta getting involved? No way!"

"Shut your trap." He rolled his eyes again. "Just tell me what you can. Her Quirk, her philosophies..."

"...That's a breech of privacy." Tsukauchi hesitated. "But not like I can help her the way you could."

Aizawa frowned. "Give me factual evidence and then go and confirm with her. I've done worse things than breeching personal information anyway."

"...Well I first met her because of a Quirk incident. She accidentally mutilated a dog."

Then Aizawa suddenly felt very, very bad considering these were the opening two sentences.

He swallowed down the 'excuse me?' and asked- "And?"

"I was testing her for ASPD as well. She seemed to have an awful lot of traits that align with one. A psychopath, or whatever. She was a really strange kid, and there was nothing much well said about her."

"What do you mean?" He narrowed his eyes.

"She's- a recluse. I'm sure you could infer a lot from her file- lacking as it is, but if the adults weren't indifferent to her, then they disliked her greatly. Consequently, the children were also like that. Bakugou Mitsuki-san and Masaru-san are the only exceptions."

"Bakugou's parents." Aizawa pressed a finger against his temple. "Jesus Christ."

"She was highly intelligent, indifferent and judgemental. She seemed to be in a constant daze, or state of boredom. It's hard to tell because her eyes are quite..."

"Confronting." He finished. "Shocking. It drowns out all her other features."

"That's right. Their mother- Inko-san, had even implied that she doesn't really know what Kitomi looks like because she avoids looking at her face for too long."

Aizawa felt his expression turn flat. "Really."

"Yeah... it's messed up." Tsukauchi grimaced. "Because Kitomi is also only half-Midoriya. She was conceived before Midoriya Izuku-kun was with a different man. Mitsumeru."

"So what's this?" He groaned, ticking off his fingers. "No parental figures, not socially liked, assumedly, no friends as well?" 

"You're right. Ironically enough, asides from her twin, she probably had the strongest bond with Bakugou-kun. Same with said twin. The three were quite close- I don't know whether or not it's in the way you'd think of toddlers though."

"Turned out shit." Aizawa huffed when remembering the obvious tension between them all. "What the fuck." 

"Right? Following Quirk awakening, she was even more withdrawn than before. She didn't even go to school. She self-taught."

"This idiot..." He was running out of groans and sighs and eye rolling. "Problem child."

"And after Bakugou-kun and Kitomi had a fight, it was even worse! There were times I didn't see her for entire months. I was so heartbroken, you know?" Tsukauchi shook a fist, crocodile tears welling up, "After all I'd done for her... after cutting her burnt hair! She just ignored me!"

"Burnt." Aizawa sighed in question. "A fight."

"Bakugou-kun bullied Midoriya-kun. You'll need to go interrogate some Aldera Junior High staff for that. It sounded pretty bad."

"What the shit." Aizawa groaned again, louder. "I mean I did realise afterwards that Midoriya would've been considered Quirkless because of the late awakening, but... I almost forgot how much worse bullying was for the Quirkless."

He'd been picked on before because his Quirk was... bully-able. It cancelled others, but didn't really help him himself. Easy target and incentive for bullying.

"Yeah." Tsukauchi scratched his cheek absently. "The three really need help. It's like some sort of trauma triangle."

"...Just... Start again." He grabbed at a notepad and a pen. "I thought I didn't need notes for this, but apparently I do."

"But you know, I kinda like the name 'Deku' for you!" Ochaco pumped a fist with a smile, "It gives me a sorta 'never give up!' vibe, you know?"

I watched as Izuku abruptly turned the shade of tomato, and wondered whether or not it was about this age where teens were drawn to romance and things. What a predicament: I had little to no clue on which group I should associate myself with; I certainly didn't feel comfortable within the close proximity of these two... soon to be crushing on each other...

Then Mina waved loudly, pink limbs all but flying in the air as she beckoned me over. My short bout of relief was a little hesitant- Should I really be relieved though? Her energy was a little overbearing...

Then I noticed Kyouka behind her, fiddling nervously with her ear jacks and exhaled exasperatedly. Well, I certainly couldn't leave her alone with Mina. I tipped my head in casual goodbye to Izuku and the others before lightly jogging towards the two girls.

Soon, Momo was dragged in and... that... was probably the 'group' I'm hanging out with then.

Just as social groups were important to monitor, it was also essential to keep track of student-teacher relationships in this prestigious school. Aizawa and I were already closer, but that didn't equate to 'better terms'. He simply knew more about me. 

'Yamada-sensei' (who insists the class call 'Mic-sensei') was jovial and loud. He picked on quiet, but capable students. Knowing English from my previous life and also trying not to stand out, I was already pointed out as the main student to pick on along with Izuku.

'Ectoplasm-sensei' (who did not give other names) was a terrifyingly strict maths teacher. He pinpointed the ones who slacked and wasn't afraid to 'publicly humiliate them' by the words of Kirishima. Cordial relationship.

'Kayama-sensei' ('Midnight-sensei') was by far my least favourite teacher. She needed therapy regarding her obsession with sex and need for attention. There was an intelligence and maturity to her eyes despite that though. 

Those were the only teachers I'd had a class with before Heroics started. And then this teacher, All Might... 

"I am..."

The doors flung open with such force that I could feel a breeze even from where I was sitting.

"...Coming through the door like a normal person!"

I forgot my initial, uncharacteristic plan of half-heartedly pretending to idolise him too to blend in. Because- 

Whatever intention he had, this was the man that took away my brother. Took away 'Midoriya Izuku, the bright-eyed child' and turned him- or would turn him into the tortured boy of a main character, slaving for a corrupt ideal, for a world that had rejected him. Perhaps one would argue that I was exaggerating, but the developments of the manga (blurry in memory, but enough) just proved my point and furthered my discomfort.

Drawn stylistically and printed in black and white, it's only a true 'Shonen' story, but so long as I was here, alive and breathing with Izuku as a live human being- relative, twin brother, then all this- past, present, future- was something that I would hate for as long as I existed.

One For All. All Might's legacy. All Might and his fucked up 'Symbol of Peace' reputation was, all at once, pushed onto him. 

If anything, I could barely contain my air of loathing.

All Might seemed to notice my presence and my stare immediately, stiffening in a rather unsubtle way. I suppose I should've been less obvious; the rest of the class was all in awe- both silent and loud awe, but then there was Midoriya Kitomi, still and judgemental.

I stared at him as he continued to speak, and his eyes occasionally flicked to meet mine even though they were hidden under the blindfold. 

How was I to interact with this man?

"-Let's jump right in with this: the battle trial!" All Might gestured to the wall where columns slowly pushed out to reveal stacks of metallic suitcases. Those were probably the costumes. I'd almost forgotten about them.

I glanced at Izuku and breathed an amused sigh of relief- for about the hundredth time- when I remembered that I'd triple checked and edited his submission. He was pretty adamant on the bunny ears- still calling them 'symbolism'- so I'd added it in. After all, any clothing that's vaguely bunny-shaped would be likened to All Might. To me, it didn't look as gag-able, so it was a win. 

Then I remembered the multiple flat sketches I'd drawn along with the paragraphs of heavily detailed explanations and requests and grimaced; let's all hope UA lived up to its hype.

It did.

The initial illustration looked simple: high-collared tank top and tight-fitting shorts, separated by a thick leather belt. Gloves to the shoulders with metal arm guards to the elbow over the top. Thigh strap, connected to belt, for weapons. Knee-high boots with knee sleeves attached. And a mask.

The suitcase opened to show neatly packaged clothing along with the... accessory I'd claimed 'comes with the costume'. There was a pocket for a copy of the submission- edited by the team- as well.

They didn't change much save for the colour- changing some parts to a vivid red with a note in scrawled neon pink reading: So gloomy... I took it upon myself to add some colour to your life! If you truly wish to embark upon the path of misery, feel free to visit the Support team with a complaint, and we'll fix it back up to the depressing costume it was!

I felt my brows raise. It was all black at first partly because it seemed practical, but mostly because I hadn't had coloured pencils with me at that time. I'd noted in the colours of red and yellow because they were my body's base colours, and I figured that the Hero industry wouldn't promote something like all-black. 

So it was now a mish-mash of flashy red with black. Not terrible.

But that was the simple outline.

Now comes the details.

And... to say the least, there are a lot of details.

The fabrics- remaining all black- had to be protective, absorbent, flexible, comfortable, and tough enough to compress and support. Pockets must be placed in as many ways possible without appearing visible. They'd ended up implementing all them in all the places I drew: compartments of zip-up pockets on the side under the armpit, and usual pockets- large ones- on both sides on the shorts. No pockets on the behind as I doubt I'd use them.

Metal was to be all matte. (Arm guards were red.) Getting sun glares when my Quirk was vision-based was just- a dumb idea.

The belt- red- had two fastening buckles, a pouch connected, and a ridiculous amount of loops on them; I had absolutely no clue what I had in plan for them, but I knew they would come in handy: larger ones on the left for weapons to draw, and many on the right for easier grabs. That arrangement was best for reach considering I was right-dominant. Even though I started pretty young, I still hadn't managed to train myself fully ambidextrous.

However, for today, they would be useless; I'd underestimated how fast All Might's lesson came, so I had yet to interrogate the Support Department on what they could offer.

The thigh strap (red) came with what looked like harnesses, detachable from the belt, as well as many hoops, and it came with the aforementioned accessory. As per my greed suggested, the 'accessory' had various functions.

It was some hybrid between a staff and a spear, with about every feature one could think of. With retractable blades, multiple detachable joints, paralysing or electrocuting functions, and even an adjustable flash light, it was every bullshitted function shoved into a single metal pole.

By now, it was obvious that I was going to take advantage of the Support Department.

The boots had reinforced tips and heels, and I stressed that kicking was going to be my main form of 'normal' attack, so plenty of support in the shin area as well. Two pockets, styled for hidden blades- red- on the inner side of the boots, were there as requested.

Finally, the mask. I was quite stuck on it, to be honest. (Apart from the obvious request of breathing filtration and what not.) I preferred minimal recognisability, but maximal visibility for my Quirk. But I also wanted to be able to adjust and control my Quirk through it like an adjustable version of my blindfold. I'd left vague instructions along with my measurements, and a note on my Quirk's conditions. 

'It requires direct vision to establish a 'Point'.' Then a tentative- 'I may not be able to use it on the chance I receive one.'

There were ways to get around it; the blindfold was made of a certain material that made it 'semi-transparent', but not in the way glass was transparent: it was just full of tiny holes. So in that way, it was still 'direct vision'. However, there wasn't really a way to bypass this condition.

A sticky note was slapped onto the wrapping of the mask: Don't underestimate me. 

Then as I took it off, I saw written on the other side of the sticky note: Ahh! What a pretty design! I hope I did it justice!

I felt my lips twitch before my eyes trailed to the mask. Then my brows raised involuntarily- whoever made this... 

I had to offer my awestruck compliments.

A sliver of an eyehole was carved in the smooth, pristine white. My half-hearted sketch- a nostalgic (and quite satirical) rendition of an ANBU symbol- was printed over it, crisply, in intertwining gold and crimson. Three petals adorned on the side of a swirl, a brush down to the bottom of the mask, like a track of bloody tears.

I felt the urge to just keep it as an art piece. 

Following the instructions, I folded out a mask from the from of my shirt collar. It was hard to explain the process where it unfolded so part was hard for security and parts were thick fabric. Then I fitted the white one over my face. ...It stuck. No wonder there was only a thin elastic strap to help secure it.

It... stuck to the fabric mask like how strong magnets would. I shook my head. It didn't twitch. I could swear that my previous world didn't have these types of materials. Was this really possible? ...Well, did I care? It worked. It worked better than expected.

It was more spacious and comfortable than expected with none of my senses compromised. No condensation seemed to build from my breath, and the material- sort of hard, but a little flexible?- wasn't something I recognised, and there also weren't any noticeably holes apart from the eyehole, which further confused me. 

I could see though. Perfectly. But I didn't know whether or not this meant I could use my Quirk.

I took it off and left it in the case. I didn't need it now; since it was just my class, there was no point in concealing my identity. Especially since it had little features right now; it was a request made on a hesitant whim, so if it did work... then we'd talk.

As I slowly fitted on the rest, accustoming myself to the tightness and revealing nature of it, I slotted my staff into the strap and carded my hair back with my fingers. Yanking my blindfold over my head and letting it rest around my neck, I slowly moved outside.

Let's see just how nicely this costume fits me.

-Not too soon later...-

It smelt of smoke and blood. 

"Don't you fucking dare-" I growled, backing Katsuki into the wall, one palm pressed against his sternum, and other forearm pressing across the stretch of his neck.

His eyes glared up at me. They narrowed, but he didn't move.

"You are not going to fight Izuku!"

IRRELEVANT STUFF:

kitomi doodle dump:

(ignore the random sun, flower, butterfly, and heart)

kitomi costume:

(missing some stuff, but... eh. work on ur imagination, guys.)

Chapter Text

-Uraraka Ochaco-

Deku was in a full black and green gear with noticeable wrist and knee supporting. He had a cute hood with big bunny ears which didn't really match the serious tone of his costume, much like how his innocent appearing face didn't really match.

"Ah Deku! Cool costume! It looks very practical." Ochaco grinned and waved.

"Thanks! Kitomi drew it up for me. She's amazing! And- oh- Oh woah! You- u-uh look g-guh- guhd too. Ahem." He covered the lower half of his face, suddenly stammering for some reason. 

She knew it: it must be because of how... inappropriate her costume looked. Ochaco blushed a little bashfully, "Thanks. And that's so cool of her. I wish I'd drawn my sketch a little better. My costume came out a little... tight."

"Heroics is the best." Mineta chimed in with an ogle and shot her a thumbs up. Ochaco resisted the violent urges that seem to always appear when he's around.

"The Heroics industry encourages sexual appeal." A monotone voice behind them coolly said with a sharp 'click' of a step. "It's disgusting."

Ochaco turned around to greet Kitomi, eyes jumping to her costume. ...Then the eyes wandered. Then they widened. 

"Holy shit, that's hot." Kaminari stammered, breaking the silence.

Kitomi grimaced but shot him a furrowed brow nod. "I... appreciate your compliment?"

"W-Wow," Momo cupped her cheek with a hand. "You're very... toned, Kitomi-san."

"You mean fucking ripped." Kyouka awed, face pinkening.

Though a little dramatic, Kyouka wasn't wrong in her description; while Kitomi wasn't anywhere near All Might's body-builder-esque physique, it was a shocking enough build in comparison to every other soft-bodied female in the class that they might as well call her 'ripped'.

The redhead's expression went deadpan as she looked down on herself. "Oh right. Society isn't used to seeing a little bit of muscles on females. And you'd think Mirko had stirred up the critics enough. Alas, the controversy begins again."

Mirko... Ochaco wasn't that well-versed in Hero talk, but she knew that Mirko was a pretty popular Hero; she just wasn't really plastered on many ads or whatever. They say she's pretty much independent and because of her 'attitude' and her lone wolf way of Hero-ing, she wasn't as well-known as someone in her position should be. 

Kitomi arched a brow and shifted, appearing a little self-conscious when a few seconds went by in silence and shocked stares.

Her outfit was rather revealing and tight as well, but it didn't feel lewd or awkward in the way that Ochaco's or Yaomomo's did. Perhaps it was because of those additional harsh angles that accompanied the softness of her femininity.

'Femininity'. Should she really call it that? Now that Kitomi said that. More like baby chub? She still hadn't lost all of hers and her parents liked to feed her up good.

Suddenly at that thought, Ochaco had to hold back a cringe at how bare she felt. 

Kitomi's deadpan cut off her thoughts- "Okay, this is getting ridiculous now. Go stare at Izuku's bunny ears instead. I consider them more of a sacrilege than the anatomical features this costume shows." 

All Might cleared his throat and when the attention turned to him, he began to speak. While he was explaining the rules though, Ochaco's mind went to Kitomi. It wasn't just because of the costume; she'd always felt different. Not even the way that was the usual 'different'. It was something deeper than general hobbies or fashion choices.

The air about her was foreign, like there was a permanent disconnect. Her interactions, while not nervous, were clunky and sounded pre-planned. And it looked like she was all too aware of this invisible barrier around her. 

Thus the competence in her step, in her grades, in her expression. She overcompensated. Ochaco wasn't an idiot; she could see it when it was there. It was in her parents all the time. The awareness of a flaw, and the desperate attempts to counterbalance them.

But damn, Ochaco really wants to be her friend. Despite how this all might be awkward and painful for her, she can't help but think about how cool she is.

"Team A: Midoriya Izuku, and Uraraka Ochaco!"

Deku again? What a coincidence!

"Wow, we must be fated or something!" Considering they'd coincidentally meet or been paired up so many times. "Pleased to have you!" She smiled encouragingly at Deku as he gave a wobbly one back. She'd never understand Deku and wobbliness.

"Pair A will be Heroes! Pair D will be Villains!"

Pair D? Ochaco glanced around, wracking her mind to remember who it was. Then she noticed the expression on Kitomi's face. Then Bakugou's. 

Her heart dropped.

Shit.

"This scenario has the Villains inside the building first! Then, after five minutes, the Heroes will be let in as well! Everyone else will be able to watch what unfolds through the surveillance cameras! This will allow Young Bakugou and Young- er, Midoriya to get inside the heads of Villainkind! This is a practical training exercise, so go all out without fear of injury! Though naturally, we'll cut things short if things go out of hand..."

-Kitomi-

Damn it. I held back a groan. 

As I walked towards wherever we were going, I tried to concoct a plan inside of my head, but failed drastically. I was fine sparring against Izuku, and maybe even Katsuki, but I could never fight against Izuku or fight alongside Katsuki. 

My train of thought- or lack thereof- was cut off when I lost balance and wobbled again. I cursed in my head, resisting the urge to stretch out my ankles. It wasn't that high of a heel yet the difference from this to regular shoes was jarring.

I must've been in a state of some stupidity to think they'd be good last resort weapons. After all, I remembered loving my heeled boots paired with front kicks in my past life. But not even an hour into wearing these things and I could bet I'd suffer more damage just walking around with this than the damage my opponents would get from a heeled kick.

My mind went back to the... comments that my classmates gave. It wasn't by any means a sexual remark that Mineta had basically given to Ochaco, but it reminded me of the lack of coverage. 

Was it dangerous? I'd gone with minimal guards, as I was more concerned with the quality of the clothes rather than what 'armour' I actually wanted.

There was no point in getting heavy steel that caved under superhuman Quirk attacks after all. If materials would be useless, they'd only be dead weight and I'd rely on her body more. 

The idea of being completely covered like Ochaco made me wince a little- I could already imagine how it'd pull against my skin when I try to move. Tight clothes were just like that; there was no way around it. 

"Did you know?" Katsuki asked abruptly. I turned to look at him, waiting for him to elaborate. He scowled, "That De- That he had a Quirk like that?"

"I did not." I replied neutrally. "Not for sure until Aizawa-sensei's test."

For some reason, he looked a little surprised then angry. But again, he always looked angry and it'd been so long that I was only half-certain about my interpretations. 

"Fucking nerd, was he fooling me the entire time?" He gritted out under his breath. 

"I assure you not." I interrupted with a little bit of disdain. "If Nii-san had that Quirk for a long time, he'd be able to control it better than then. You know what I'm saying."

The notebook, the obsession- Katsuki knew best just how much of a 'nerd' Izuku was for Quirks. 

He tossed me a sardonic look, "What about you then?"

I felt my eyes widen a little before I frowned and looked away. That was different. I never wanted to be stronger than necessary in the first place. 

There was silence- tense or comfortable, I couldn't really tell- as we reached the 'bomb'. I blinked at it once before turning to Katsuki, "It's paper mache. How are we gonna defend this thing..."

My gut writhed in apprehension as I finally addressed the stone lodged in my throat. "Katsuki... you're gonna go after Izuku, aren't you."

His head snapped in my direction and his expression was intense as if he was moving to shout, but didn't know what to say.

"Don't." I shook my head as I spoke, desperate and not unwilling to plead. I remembered burn cream on the table and quiet sniffles at night. That feeling of helplessness and useless anger. I was scared. 

I am scared. 

"Why are you still on this?" I continued, "You're in high school now. I get that you're angry, but... Just stop. ...Pl-"

"No point in traps or strategy." He spoke roughly, looking away. "Do what you're meant to do, and we can win this easy."

He doesn't listen. But... I lost that privilege as well.

"I don't care about winning." I snapped immediately. And he cared more about beating Izuku up as well.

"And why the fuck don't you?! " He instantly replied before sprinting out of the room. 

"Katsuki! " I glanced at the 'bomb' and then at the exit and let out a panicked breath. 

I chased after him.

"All Might-sensei... what are they doing...?"

I skidded to a halt as a loud BOOM reverberated in the area. I collected myself from the shockwave and hurried forward, anger and fear and guilt- for some reason- swimming in my stomach. 

"Damnit Deku... Don't fucking dodge me!" 

"Thanks for worrying, Domi, but Nii-chan can protect himself! I'm strong after all!" Childish crying, muffled by hands. The pile of band aid scraps in the bin, badly hidden under scrunched up balls of paper. 

I focused on anger because that was the only thing I knew I could handle and... swung at Katsuki. 

For a single moment, there was only silence.

Izuku was crouched on the floor in front of Ochaco, blood trickling from his temple. And Katsuki- He held his jaw, looking mostly expressionless. He spat out a red-tinged glob and broke the silence. 

"Thanks for worrying, Domi, but-"

The sound of quiet crying pierced my mind again, and I- 

I took one step forward, then another. "Don't you fucking dare-" I growled, backing Katsuki into the wall.

"Nii-chan can protect himself!" Lies, and lies, and lies. Yet what could I even do?!

My palm slammed against his sternum, and I pressed my other forearm across the stretch of his neck, threatening. His eyes glared up at me. They narrowed, but he didn't move.

"I'm strong after all!" 

Again and again, he lied. Izuku wasn't strong in the way that would protect him. He wasn't strong in the way that Katsuki's blows wouldn't hurt him. And by the end of this, he'll be in the infirmary again. He'll be shattered and broken and burnt and near dead, but he'll still smile and call that 'strength'. He'll still call it his win.

"You are not going to fight Izuku!"

"What are you doing...?" Izuku quietly asked as he stood up. "This isn't... the time for that."

I snapped my eyes to meet his, exasperated. Yeah right, this was exactly the time for this. Especially when All Might wouldn't be an actual supervisor and just let them beat each other to death's door. I was going to take responsibility this time. 

I had to. Otherwise those phantom sobs would never disappear from my head.

That guilt.

"Kitomi!" Izuku screamed again, eyes alight in anger. "I said this isn't the time for that! Why did you follow Kacchan? Do you even care about this?!"

"Nii-san," I gritted out, not a whine, but something desperate was in my voice. Didn't he get it?! Did he think I'd just wait calmly as this goes on? "I care about you! "

"Take me seriously!" He snapped.

I flinched and recoiled, feeling hurt in all the ways I had and hadn't before. I felt my lower lip tremble and it felt like my insides had been hollowed out.

"I don't even want to fight you when you're like that!" Izuku yelled, "I'm not about to use your care as a weapon to win this! If you really care about me, then go away! "

"This isn't a fight. I wouldn't fight with someone- with someone as pathetic as you."

I felt... uncertain. All of a sudden. 

Maybe this was the price to pay for not stepping in more when we were younger. 

Maybe Izuku didn't want my help- No, of course, he didn't. He looked so upset- He looked so angry at me, but I didn't think that-

I was sure that- Surely, I was right to be worried- I mean, Izuku was terrified of Katsuki, and this- and I vaguely remembered about Katsuki doing something really dangerous and he does end up getting in a really bad condition, but Katsuki always did something dangerous, so maybe I should've just let him be-

Because I'd always 'let him be' and now look at this. In the end, the fault was no one's but my own-

A firm grip lowered my arm, and it was more gentle than I expected- probably because anything more would've knocked me onto the floor. I searched his eyes and looked for pity: there was none. In fact, there was nothing I could really read.

"Get lost, Kitomi." Katsuki bared his teeth. "If your brother is as good as you say, he won't need your protection."

-Ochaco-

"Deku predicted it, you know?" She said in a gentle tone. Ochaco had to admit she felt pity for Kitomi. Perhaps 'sympathy' was a better word. "He knew Bakugou would immediately go for you, and he knew that you'd go after him."

It had taken a good while to find the 'bomb' with Kitomi on her trail, misleading her and stalling her. Ochaco figured that the only reason why she wasn't immediately captured was because of the thin heels she seemed to dislike with a burning fury. She knew that the girl could probably one shot KO her, but she seemed a little out of it as well. Ochaco doesn't blame her. 

That must've been a horrible thing to experience.

Kitomi tugged down her blindfold again- and if it wasn't humiliating that she'd handicapped herself to fight Ochaco on the way here, then she didn't know what was. They stood here now: Kitomi defending the 'bomb', and Ochaco on the other side of the room, puffed. It was echoey enough that she could speak softly and she could still hear. 

"Deku called it a 'cruel re-enactment of our childhood'." Ochaco smiled a small smile. "Bakugou bullied him before, right?"

"You couldn't call it just 'bullying'." She spoke, tone even but tired. "Nii-san worships Katsuki, Katsuki respected me, and I... And Nii-san is sort of like my only hope in the world. He means everything to me. Katsuki tormented Nii-san, Nii-san disliked my 'excessive' worrying, and Katsuki lost respect for me because of my... feelings towards Nii-san."

"It's complicated." Ochaco concluded for her, feeling sorry. It was probably the only thing on her mind if she volunteered that information so quickly. Initially, she started speaking to stall for time as she recovers and finds a plan, but... it didn't take the realness out of this conversation.

"I understand why you'd act that way. Deku... He said he wouldn't use your care as a weapon though. He wants a real fight from you, Kitomi, because you mean more to him than just your care for him, you know?"

Before she could reply, a loud explosion sounded, rattling the building and shattering the windows. Ochaco felt a bead of sweat drip down her neck, chanting to herself that it was part of the plan. (It wasn't, but Deku had said that Bakugou was strong.)

Kitomi looked distraught- face ashen and lips pressed together like she'd throw up. 

Ochaco decided to take this chance and tapped her fingertips together, leaping forward and jumping into the air. Kitomi simply turned her head upwards, eyes lasered onto hers. 

Ochaco felt a chill of primal fear zap through her body at that menacing gold, yet she couldn't pull her eyes away from that stare.

She braced herself, but there was merely a firm pull that dragged her back and pushed her back onto the floor. It didn't hurt at all, so why was Kitomi so set on limiting that...? Kitomi stared at her almost fearfully a while longer, as if waiting for something to happen, before reaching to hesitantly touch her blindfold. 

"Damn," Ochaco chuckled nervously. "Making myself float was going to be my trump card..."

"You're going to lose, Ochaco." Kitomi said calmly. "Our Quirks are completely incompatible. I can put a force on things, and you make things weightless. You're just making my job easier. Not to mention, you're on a time limit as well."

"You may be right... but I still gotta try, ya know?!" Ochaco dashed towards her, palms outstretched. 

"A front on charge?" Kitomi muttered amusedly before sliding into a well-balanced stance that has Ochaco fearing for her future wellbeing. With a war cry, she swung her palm forward.

In a fluid motion her eyes couldn't even catch, her arm was hit outwards, and there was a hard impact on her ribs. As she staggered backwards from it, her legs were swept out from under her and she made herself float a moment before she hit the floor. It surprised Kitomi enough that she almost caught her, but she retreated in time. 

She picked up a little random rock behind her and activated her Quirk, hurling it Kitomi and hoped that it served good enough distraction before she leapt towards her again. The rock simply stopped in its path and swerved, chasing after Ochaco. She released her Quirk effect and the force slowed enough that she had the time to duck behind the pillar. 

Then to her absolute horror, the pillar began to cave underneath the force of the rock. Luckily, it shattered and crumbled, and Kitomi dropped her Quirk. She took a gamble and hurled a few more, making them weightless. Generally, Quirks like hers could only focus on one. Kitomi smoothly dodged the flying stones, controlling one to knock away the rest. 

Moot point considering that happens.

Ochaco ran at Kitomi again, knowing she wouldn't win, but there was always a chance, she might catch her. She swung again, but each of her strikes were caught by the wrist or deflected far enough that it took time to drag her hand back into position. Kicks were even worse, she noted, as she constantly lost balance and kicked in retaliation. Tackles earnt her a strike to the back, and despite all her struggling, she still had not managed to take one step closer to the 'bomb'.

Kitomi seemed to also get a little restless at this fight as Ochaco wouldn't give up, but she also didn't seem to want to knock her out or injure her badly. 

Ochaco pretended to be more exhausted than she actually was, making her movements sloppier and more pathetic, and finally, Kitomi drew out the capturing tape, unwinding it and leaving one second of vulnerability.

Ochaco took it and then they were both in the air.

Uh... now what? 

She threw herself away from Kitomi to avoid the capturing tape and she put it away with a sigh. Ochaco steadied herself against a pillar when Deku's voice spoke into their mic- "I'm here, Ochaco!"

The signal for his final move in the plan-

"Okay!" Then she glanced at Kitomi and realised she was... directly at the place his punch was going to impact. And she was weightless. But Ochaco couldn't release her Quirk because it'd drop her as well- 

The sight of the zero pointer crumbling into pieces flashed through her mind and panic surged in her veins-

"WAIT, Kitomi-"

Chapter Text

There was something about waking up alone that hurt her more than that last impact. 

Kitomi laid there, defeated. 

She closed her eyes before the events could catch up to her, and let the bliss of unconsciousness take her.

-Shouta-

"Uraraka," He called out, not bothering to ask why she was randomly wandering about the hallway when it was the start of lunch time. "Perfect. I was just needing to tell you something."

"H-Huh?" She replied with a dazedness she didn't usually have. "O-Oh, okay... What was it, Sensei?"

Shouta frowned a little, but brushed it off. "It's about Midoriya Kitomi."

Uraraka's face drained of blood, becoming more sickly than she already looked. "K-Kitomi...?"

"Are you alright?" He asked, feeling more confused. 

"I-I- Could you first tell me?" She asked a little meekly. 

"It's not any bad news." Shouta half-heartedly reassured. Now that Uraraka was certified to share the same blood as Problem Child 1, maybe she'd become Problem Child 4 as well. Obviously, 2 was Midoriya Izuku and 3 was Bakugou. "I was just letting you know that you share the same blood as Midoriya Kitomi. A... An acquaintance of hers just forgot to tell you both."

"Huh?" Shock took over her features and her eyebrows rose to a comical level. "Wh... What do you mean?"

"Her father's named Mitsumeru and... something something. I'm sure that's enough seeing how you recognise that surname. If you're really curious, you could ask Kitomi herself. You're first cousins." Shouta then immediately pressed- "So based off your reactions before, did something happen? What period did you last have?"

Then he remembers. And realises.

Heroics. ...Fuck. Fuck...

"What. Happened." He asked stonily. "For the love of god, please don't tell me that Bakugou or either of the Midoriyas were paired together."

But he already knew that god- if he believed in one- definitely did not love him. Or either of the three children.

-Ochaco-

Her hands were trembling as she wrung them together. "It-It's almost funny how you say that, Aizawa-sensei... Bakugou was paired with Kitomi, and I was paired with Deku... And we... us two teams fought against each other."

Aizawa groaned in a long-suffering way. "And now?"

"Deku is severely injured, Bakugou..." Ochaco chuckled wetly. "Needs therapy. Actually they all do. I'm least injured. Kitomi..." A gasp-sob escaped her mouth and her eyes start to sting. "Kitomi is- Recovery Girl said that Kitomi could've died! "

Recovery Girl had asked her about what happened exactly- Ochaco didn't really know why she hadn't asked All Might instead, but as soon as she finished her recount, the woman had muttered that. Poor girl could've died if things went wrong.

"And- And I was just thinking about it before- Deku- They had a- fight- or something, Deku and Kitomi. It didn't seem like a regular sibling fight. I think you should call their mom or- or-..."

Then words came to her- something Izuku had added offhandedly before. "-Not even my mother had really believed in me the way Kitomi did."

And a little gut feeling told her that their mother wasn't someone that should be brought in. She remembered somehow that she knew Kitomi also didn't go to school. Kitomi had a 'lone wolf' sort of demeanour. 

Ochaco's face twisted bitterly as she sniffed. "Does Kitomi even have anyone?"

"Calm down, Uraraka," Aizawa attempted to comfort. His voice was flat and it sounded more like a deadpan, but it was the effort that counted, right? "Recovery Girl is one of the very best at treating people. Kitomi will be fine. She has you and her other new friends, she has the UA staff, and we'll make sure that she gets better, alright?"

"Okay, Aizawa-sensei," She chuckled, "Sorry to be an emotional mess."

"It's okay. I'm pretty sure I signed up for this. It's above my pay grade though." His face twitched like he was trying not to make a face. "Tell me what happened from the start."

She began to explain the activity as quick as she could. 

"-As Deku predicted, Bakugou immediately went for us- or Deku, I guess, and Kitomi was on Bakugou's tail."

"Which was stupid, considering they needed to protect the bomb." Aizawa already looked annoyed.

"Yeah, but even though Deku expected it, he got really angry."

"Bakugou and Midoriya had bad history, and Midor- Urgh. And Kitomi wanted to stop anything over the board, but let me guess- Midoriya wanted to 'evolve' himself by confronting Bakugou or whatever, so he thought Kitomi was disrespecting him."

"Exactly." She said dully. "And... Deku shut her down. It's the only way I can put it. It was- It was so painful to watch, and it hurts more now that I think about it. Afterwards, Deku's plan continued-"

"Wait."

She fell silent.

"You're telling me..." Aizawa's eyes narrowed. "That Midoriya had planned to emotionally attack Kitomi to get her to back off?"

"That's what I don't know!" She burst out, and then the words kept coming. "And I don't want to know. He just frowned a little before he skimmed over that and proceeded as if Kitomi never would've followed Bakugou."

He'd kept on explaining as if he was ignoring his prediction.

"It was like he'd... he'd have some tiny hope- an unrealistic hope that Kitomi would somehow read his mind and do what he wanted!"

Selfishly wanted. Deku was so sweet and kind- She never thought he'd be like that. He didn't seem like the kind of person to hurt anyone and much less someone who adores him.

"But then... that didn't happen. I get his frustration- I could tell that he felt uncomfortable and annoyed, but did it warrant that snap? Did it- Did it make it alright in his eyes? That- to feel hurt, he could hurt back?"

"-And I... And Nii-san is sort of like my only hope in the world. He means everything to me."

Ochaco felt her chest twist again. "I feel so bad because I should've spoken out! I should've stopped it because Kitomi was too scared and felt ashamed, and the other two boys-" She pursed her lips and a fiercely upset look crossed her eyes, "And the other two boys were having a pissing contest over this. They didn't want to stop it at all!"

She could tell as soon as they were in the vicinity of each other.

"Damnit Deku... Don't fucking dodge me!" 

And seeing that subtle but nauseous look of worry on Kitomi's face, she couldn't help but agree with her actions. Bakugou and Deku should not have been allowed to fight each other.

"No one was in a state to stop it... other than me! I should have done it! I should have done something. I didn't even know why I still cared about the activity when one friend was getting verbally and physically assaulted and my other friend was-"

The scene replays in her head again.

"Nii-san, I care about you!"

The clear concern and desperation.

"Take me seriously!"

Then that lost look in her eyes. The loosening grip. The way her head ducked a little- She looked so small. So scared.

"It keeps flashing before my eyes, Sensei-" She stared at him tearfully with furrowed brows, urging him to understand. "That- That look on her face. It was so heartbreaking!"

Her teacher remained silent, not dismissive nor encouraging. He merely listened.

Ochaco took a deep breath and continued quietly, "Deku's plan was to use a super strong punch upwards and then I'd use the debris from the shockwave to attack Kitomi and grab the bomb while she was in confusion."

Aizawa let out a small tutting noise disapprovingly.

She bit her lip, feeling slightly ashamed. "I know... It was a bad plan since it meant he had to blow up his arm."

He'd seemed confident, so she'd gone along with it. She's so weak. She's so indecisive.

"In the meantime, I'd been fighting Kitomi- and losing miserably, I might add- I'm sure you could look at the recording if you wanted to, Sensei. I'd managed to get her floating near the very end, but that was just before Deku's plan was finally set in motion..."

Aizawa finished slowly- "Kitomi was in the place of destruction."

"Smack bang in the middle." Ochaco whispered. "It's my fault, Sensei. Otherwise she wouldn't be as badly injured. Otherwise she could've been able to dodge it."

Her Quirk unbound her from one force of gravity. Kitomi would've been lighter than dust. 

"There isn't a definite way to say who's 'fault' it was, Uraraka, so don't pin it all on yourself. Have a good long talk with Kitomi afterwards, and I'm sure she won't blame you in the least. This is ridiculous."

"It really is." She rubbed at her eyes again to rid of the tears. Useless, useless tears. "Funniest thing was how, in the end, we didn't even win."

Because apparently that mattered to the boys.

"After that, I'd dropped my Quirk effect- in panic, almost, and she'd landed like... like a doll. Thud. Hah." Ochaco almost laughed. "On the ground. Just barely managing to pull herself away from that gaping hole on the floor."

She was in such a shock that all she could do was follow the plan that she'd chanted in her head over and over, and pretend like that image of an 'opponent' in her mind had been real when all that her 'enemy' was at that point was a half-dead friend.

The world had been fuzzy- blurring around the edges, and she hadn't wanted to think about reality. All she could focus on was the plan, the plan, the plan-

She gritted her teeth. She was useless. 

"I- I kept attacking, Sensei. I kept going. I don't know what I was doing."

Useless, useless, weak and pathetic.

"Kitomi had still gotten up- one knee up, all bloodied and beaten. She had- She'd stood up again."

Ochaco had never felt more intimidated in her life. The gust of wind from Deku's punch had scared her. If she wasn't gripping onto a pillar, she probably would've fallen onto the floor from the wind. That had hit Kitomi dead on. How could she still stand? How?!

"And so quickly- she'd drawn out that staff by her side and took me down before I could even react."

The distance between them had closed in the space of a blink. 

"My arms had been batted away, my legs were swept out and then I was on the floor and she was on top with that staff across my neck."

She'd felt sharp strikes against her joints and her sloppy guard had been ruined in an instant. She'd tumbled like a toddler. Useless, weak and pathetic.

Kitomi had wielded it like she would an arm. She'd held it as if she'd practised with it for lifetimes.

(Aizawa would later watch the footage with a grimace on his face, but a strange sense of surprise as well. The expertise- fluid, lightning-fast movements aided with the finesse of her Quirk's effects- called for years of dedication- innate talent. When he thought she'd downplayed herself enough... But the perseverance- the gritty determination was something of Midoriya Izuku's. It was something he'd criticised her for not having. That was his true surprise.)

Ochaco had laid there on the floor, startled and trapped. She had looked up and met a golden stare. 

It was terrifying. It was awe-inspiring. It felt godly in a horrific way. 

Ochaco had been in a fine condition. Yet Kitomi, she- She'd been hit by that impact and slammed into the roof. She'd dropped onto the floor and had bled a small pool of blood. Yet she still stood. Yet she could still use her Quirk. Yet she still fought and won.

(Ochaco had a few scrapes and was a bit tired. If she used her Quirk too much, she'd vomit. She feels embarrassed.)

Then she was rambling again. "After that... she... stopped moving. She didn't move- couldn't move, I think. She was just sitting there with her blood just... dripping over me. I managed to knock away the staff so I could breathe, but that was it. I tried to make her weightless- or make both of us weightless. I tried to kick her off, and I struggled and struggled, but I was so- I'm so weak. I'm useless. She was so injured and I- I stupidly didn't even pull my punches but even then I was useless."

Kitomi didn't even budge at her attempts to flail. Ochaco couldn't move. Ochaco couldn't even twitch. Kitomi seemed to tower over her, blood on her cheek, blood on her temple, blood down her lips and her nose, but with a face so calm. 

She didn't even flinch once.

Her voice went quiet and it trembled when she spoke. "I couldn't move. Every part of my body was just pinned to the floor. Neither of us moved for god knows how long. The match would've been called if not for the preciseness of the rules."

It was either the time limit or capture tape, but Kitomi wasn't in the position to even reach for it. 

"Then Bakugou came in and just tied my wrists with the capture tape." She still remembered the loud footsteps and the conflict in his eyes. Surprise, satisfaction, anger, confusion. Ochaco couldn't pick them apart- couldn't explain why those emotions were there. 

"That's how the match ended. It sounds anticlimactic, but it felt so intense." Then she said in a smaller voice, "I don't know why All Might-sensei didn't suspend it."

"Me neither." Aizawa intoned with a cold tone. "I'll be having a word."

"And you know, Aizawa-sensei?" Ochaco whispered. "I ended up being the 'best in this match'." She didn't know why she said that. Maybe she wanted someone to be proud of her. Maybe she wanted someone to tell her she wasn't actually useless or weak or pathetic and that this was just a mess too big for her.

"Momo basically said in a nice way that it was because 'I screwed up the least'."

"Don't think little of that." Her Sensei started, like he was trying to figure out the nicest way to be supportive.

Ochaco resisted a giggle: this was probably so out of his element considering his apathy and slight disdain he displayed so far towards mental counselling.

"It was... unlucky you got caught in such a situation, and you shouldn't have to have experienced that. It must've been a horrible one, but it was an experience nonetheless. Learn from your mistakes here, and take that feedback in stride. You did well." 

Confirming her thoughts, he continued, "...I'm not up for this sort of task, so talk it over with your parents and I advise you to seek some help figuring that out. It's not uncommon to feel distressed after a first battle experience- especially since this one went... awry."

Ochaco snorted. That was one way to describe it.

"That'll be all, Uraraka, thanks." Aizawa eyed her as if trying to find a way to shoo her off without sounding mean. "Take care of yourself and go eat your lunch now."

-Shouta-

As soon as she disappeared around the corner, he let out a string of curses, moving to dial Tsukauchi. Now he didn't know which student he should be most concerned about. This was why he loathed taking responsibility. But again, because teens were teens, and because they were all raised wonky, they wouldn't be able to figure this out without rational adult help.

After the second flip through his contacts, he realised he actually hadn't saved the man's number and cursed again, finding his public number online. They weren't all that close and only knew each other because they've operated in the same prefecture a lot.

"Hello, this is-"

"This is Eraserhead." He abruptly interrupted. "Let Tsukauchi on the phone."

The few seconds of wait stretched long.

"C'mon Eraser, we just spoke. What's up?"

"My fucking blood pressure. If you don't have upwards of five serial killers to find, then haul your ass to UA right now."

"Huh? I mean-"

"Right now." He growled before hanging up. Then he groaned again. "On god, what the fuck."

-Naomasa-

"Hm." He said in a neutral, nearly blank, tone as the clip finished. 

Without bothering to explain anything, Aizawa had simply pulled him over to make him sit through his compulsory homeroom teacher work of giving feedback. It was the fight between Bakugou, Uraraka and the two twins. 

Naomasa rolled over his thoughts while Aizawa scanned over his notes.

"Well," Naomasa cleared his throat, slathering on a mild expression. "That was a lot to unpack."

Internally though, he was beginning to have a meltdown. From the deadpan look of half-hearted empathy on Aizawa's face, it seemed like he knew anyway.

Aizawa rolled his eyes and sighed. "An exceptionally good teacher would talk to them individually about this and settle their problems."

"And are you an 'exceptionally good teacher'?"

He scoffed. "Fuck no. I'm here to whip them into shape. My obligations are to keep them alive. Get them to succeed."

"Bakugou-kun's sense of conflicting superiority and inferiority, Izuku-kun's low self-worth and self-destructive tendencies, and Kitomi's convoluted system of thinking..." Naomasa listed off. "They're not in for any sort of success; they're in for a raging inferno of problems."

"I don't want to touch the 'trauma triangle' with a ten foot pole. Even if I did, I wouldn't be able to solve this with any sort of 'ease'." Aizawa groaned. "What's wrong with these children?"

"Your circus." Naomasa shrugged. "Your monkeys. You already went ahead and became a teacher. Take responsibility. You talked with Kitomi. Go through with it."

"Fuck you."

"With all due respect, no thanks-"

"That response is old." Aizawa tossed him a dirty look. "Well, what would you suppose I do?"

"What state is Kitomi in right now?"

"A shit one." At Naomasa's unimpressed look, he rolled his eyes and elaborated. "Her Quirk burns through her stamina. You saw what she did. Stamina is what Recovery Girl uses to heal people. Luckily, Kitomi's physically capable enough that all her... more severe injuries were half-healed. Recovery Girl has her on bed rest for possibly the rest of the day. I doubt she'll wake up for a while."

The detective felt a migraine flare up in his head again. He felt fifty different cusses pass through his mind before he lamely said- "Well damn."

After a beat of silence, he answered Aizawa's question. "Visit Kitomi when she wakes up, pull Izuku-kun back after school, shove Bakugou-kun into a few weeks of deserved detention and talk to all of them in the meantime." Naomasa hummed. "Or... you can leave Kitomi to me, actually. You can handle the other two."

"Thanks." He said dryly. "But I actually have to write the other bits of feedback."

Naomasa turned a judgemental look on him. 

-Ochaco-

After spending a solid few minutes in the bathroom, she wandered back to the dining hall, feeling a little better now that she'd had her rant, but also a lot worse because saying it aloud just made it more real. 

Then her mood dipped again when she saw Deku sitting there after waving goodbye at a few of their classmates, wrapped up in bandages and a cast. Did he just leave Kitomi alone? It was funny that she had this sort of reaction when the first time they met- the first few times they met, Ochaco had thought of him so... specially.

There was something about his timidness that was endearing. No, it wasn't his timidness- maybe the softness that laid underneath his rigid shyness. His gentle and kind nature. 

And she hadn't quite met a boy her age that could smile like that. And when she'd watched him soar through the air, with eyes wide and mouth agape, every bit of fear, anxiety, and nausea she'd felt had disappeared. She had been enamoured.

She had been convinced that he was going to be her first romance. First and last. Soulmates. ...Or whatever her romantic mind thought. Of course she knew that such a trope was unlikely and unrealistic, but the girl loved to dream. 

It had been the entrance to her high school. Everything about it had been idealistic, dreamy. Even though she didn't really have a crush on Deku, with all the admiration and friendliness she felt, she wouldn't've been that surprised if 'attraction' or 'love' came into the mix. She wouldn't've been surprised if she started daydreaming about their future wedding in a couple of months.

But Aizawa-sensei had crushed that idealistic view, and that Heroics class had punched a hole into that dream. The first cousin thing gave her a bitter taste in the mouth, and it barely took anything for that entire 'dream' to shatter and crumble into dust.

She'd ignored so many things about going to a Heroics course in high school: injuries, sweat, tears, blood.

She's useless. Useless, weak, and pathetic. She winces when she thinks about herself a few days before.

"Deku, why're are you here?" She asked hesitantly, "You look pretty happy. Are you feeling better? Shouldn't you be in the infirmary for a little longer?"

"Recovery Girl said as long as I take it easy, I'll be alright." He rubbed the back of his head. 

"...And did you talk to Kitomi?" She clenched her fists and looked at him seriously. "Deku, I get that you were frustrated, but that was really mean of you."

"It's... It's been a long issue, Ochaco. I'll handle it."

Her eyes narrowed, expression twisting in an instant. 

"Like how you 'handled' Bakugou?" Ochaco asked with a cool and slightly mean tone. He flinched and his eyes snapped to look at hers. "Go speak to her, Deku. You should apologise if you still want that sibling relationship."

A few heads turned from the uncharacteristic hardness of her voice. Bakugou's head had turned, and he was staring holes into Deku's head. Deku was looking at her confusedly, hurt and betrayed.

"Don't look at me like that, Deku!" She cried. "You and I both know what you said, and you know more just how much it hurt her. Maybe those words were what you really thought- Maybe it was just the intensity of the fight getting to you, but she took it hard. And she's going to wake up feeling worse. You need to follow up. You have to. Don't you care about her?"

"Of course I care about her!" He immediately replied, looking betrayed. A flash of intense guilt passed over his face, but it was quickly replaced by indignation. "I feel so bad about her injury. I was- I'd never felt so terrible before. I would never forgive myself if I'd permanently damaged her or..."

Something about those words didn't sound right. Weren't they just talking about what he said? Not what he did?

"Deku..." Ochaco's jaw was tense. "What, so you just confirmed you didn't mutilate or kill her and then merrily went about your day? Is that all you care about?" 

"No!" He exclaimed defensively- angrily, then cringed, "I- I'm not- It's not like that..."

Right. It wasn't that, but it wasn't wrong.

"...Just apologise." She whispered. "Come on."

"Ochaco, don't do this to me. Don't say that. You really won't get it. It's something that had to be sorted out sooner or later, and I just- at that time- I... She's always treated me in this way. I was starting to get fed up, you know? I appreciate her concern, but it frustrates me!"

Her fists began to shake.

"-More than my mother! She's not even doing it for me anymore- I'm starting to think- I really think she doesn't do it for me at all! Otherwise she would've acted differently- Otherwise she would have listened, because I've told her before! I've already told her so many times that I didn't need her protection or help, but-

"Apologise to her." She says, louder. It sounds shaky and weak, and close to a plea.

His ramblings are muted to her and all she could see was a bleeding body and golden eyes. All she could smell was blood. 

"-She just doesn't understand me! She's too much! I can't take back those words. I won't take them back because, honestly, I think she should've expec-"

A sharp slap resounds across the dining hall. 

"Go apologise to her!"

Chapter Text

"'To be... or not to be, that is the question.'"

She stays silent and waits.

"You're overbearing!" Izuku burst out, still staring into his lap. "You're constantly around me, trying to- I don't know- baby me when I know what I'm doing. You fuss and worry and coddle me all the time, and I don't like it! I hate it! It's annoying!"

The edges darken and the film glitches.

"...I think it's best if you don't talk to me anymore."

Kitomi's head flipped to the other side and the situation is reset.

"Nii-san," She immediately began. "I'm sorry-"

"There's no use apologising." Izuku interrupted. "I know you don't mean it and I won't accept it."

"No, please- I really am! I never meant to-"

"I know you don't, but you never change! I'm sick of it! You're overbearing! You're constantly around me-"

The room shuts down in black.

Her brows crease.

"Izuku, I think this talk was long overdue-"

"Nii-san, I don't understand-"

"I really do care about you-"

"I didn't mean to act that way-"

"Do you hate me, Izuku?"

Dark spots scatter and spot her vision.

"You kept acting that way, Kitomi... how could I not?"

The heart rate monitor beeps loudly, quickly, incessantly. 

"The world isn't fair. You gotta grit your teeth and go with it. ...Or don't if you can't."

"You can open your eyes now, dearie." A kind, elderly voice lulled her into full wakefulness. 

She didn't want to.

Not into the world of white paint and antiseptic, and bandages and sores, and pain, where she's clear-minded and has to acknowledge-

"Take me seriously!" 

The words. Those words. (And the meaning behind them.) Her eyes cracked open and she stared at the white ceiling.

She didn't want to be here. Here, where she wasn't high on adrenaline, or reeling from the shock of things, or continuing on with a one-tracked mind of 'complete the objective, complete the activity-'. Here, where she had the time, the quiet, and the space to think and realise just what those words meant.

Her eyes began to sting again. If she moved too much, she might just cry.

"Shouldn't you let her rest?" A familiar voice sounded besides her. Kitomi shifted her head to the other side and was greeted by Tsukauchi's concerned expression. Aizawa stood behind him, brows creased. Otherwise, the place was empty.

"Yeah, I heard she 'could've died'?" Aizawa's voice was cold- something grave that she hadn't heard before. Why was he so fussed about this? Somehow it burns her face and encourages her tears. 

She managed to croak out a small- "Sensei? Detective?"

"Kitomi." He nodded. "You don't look that well." 

"Thanks." She replied half-heartedly.

"Hi kiddo." Tsukauchi's smile was sad. Why did he look sad? A tear rolls down her face and sinks into the pillow fabric. 

(This is pathetic.)

She tried to inhale but it sounded like a sob. The effect of that noise, ripping into silence, is glaringly obvious. Tsukauchi's smile dimmed, Aizawa grimaced, and at those expressions, something shattered within her.

Kitomi reached her arm out, only managing a few centimetres and the frustration of her helplessness- her weakness, evokes another sob. Tsukauchi grabbed her hand and, with arms too gentle, pulled her into a tight hug. (He barely even knew her.)

(And so this embrace feels fake. Cheap. He'd hold anyone that looked sad, and so, this hug meant nothing.)

Aizawa backed away, looking uncertain before leaving the room.

(But who was the cheap one for taking it? For trying to comfort herself like this when she really should just suffer from the consequences miserably?)

It's warm.

She's sobbing, shaking, and gasping into his shirt, trying to somehow ease that overwhelming feeling inside of her. Her chest was rattling and she'd never felt so stranded before- so alone. Her hands tensed and fisted, clawing helplessly for something- anything.

(What was she crying for exactly? Think rationally. Stay calm. This is obviously-)

"If you really care about me, then-"

Because she was falling. 

"-Then go away!" 

"No one wants you around here."

(She's jumping to conclusions. "Oh man, just jump off a fucking cliff already." Just breathe and think calmly-)

There was nothing. Nothing. Left for her in this world. She hated it- hated it so much. Even if that last lifeline of hers was rotting away at the edges, it'd be one nonetheless. Even if she'd seen this coming from a mile away, she'd still care heart and soul about Izuku. He had been there from the very moment she opened her eyes. He'd always been there.

But... if he didn't want her. If he loathed her presence so much... If he'd felt this way the entire time...

How long had their relationship been like this? To make Izuku happy, she should've stayed away. But she didn't want that, so she made him upset. Even at the expense of his freedom and joy, she'd still cling onto his spirit like it was all she had.

Because, in a way, he was. 

(Otherwise she'd have to think about her old life- largely forgotten, and almost entirely ignored.

"Take a hint. No one wants you around here." She'd have to think about her death. "The world isn't fair... If you can't do it, then don't. Test your fate, if you're brave enough to."

The whip of the wind, then the cold and the dark. 'I can't, I can't, I can't- I'm exhausted. Please. I'm tired.' Delusions, hysteria, insomnia- and that pain of not dying instantly. 'They say it's the easy way out.' The metallic scent of blood. 'It's my saviour. I can do this.' The regret, the fear, the loneliness. 'I don't want t-'

It had hurt so much.)

Otherwise, she'd think about how she had nothing in two lives that she could appreciate. She had privileges, she had opportunities, she had no reason to feel anything close to 'upset'. 

Yet the things she had, she loses, and the feelings she shouldn't feel, she experiences with all too much pain.

(And suddenly, nihilism is the law of the universe, and death is the sure answer to all problems, large or small. It only made sense, after all. 'Logical' sense.)

"You skipped what makes a person a person. Do you have anything there-" Aizawa's finger had poked into her forehead, firm, but not hard enough to hurt. She'd felt oddly chastised. "-That isn't all facts and planned out statistics that measure out the percentages of happiness or sadness?"

'No!' Because take out that, and she has nothing. 

She had nothing. Nothing that she wanted. Nothing that worked. 

Nothing but some brand of 'hate' because evidently that was the emotion humans could feel most easily. 'Hating her life, hating school, hating family, hating 'friends', hating those eyes, hating society and existence and the world itself-' 

If she didn't use her bloody 'facts and statistics', then her 'happiness' would go straight out the window! Fly down the drain! Despite everything! There was nothing rational about her emotions- she herself would sardonically label it an 'emo phase' if that 'phase' hadn't lasted for too long!- so that was the only way-

"It's all logic, and nothing else. In some way, that's childish."

So what?!

This was why she liked cold facts and rationality. Numbers and statistics. The absolute truth, or whatever most suitable substitution. That was how she lived. That was how she functioned and survived. Otherwise (selfish, selfish, selfish ) she'd never feel satisfied. (Greedy.)

Otherwise she'd always get hurt- "The world isn't fair..."

"A child born with blood for hair and yellow eyes, and looks nothing like her parents... That's a child of a demon."

"-I don't know, I don't know, I'm sorry, Mother, I'm sorry-"

"No wonder your husband left you."

So how else was she meant to go about this? Was she meant to cry and break down like Izuku? She couldn't handle that! She wasn't strong like that.

"Mommy calls you a 'bastard child'."

"Why do you talk that way?" 

"Why do your eyes look like that? They're so creepy."

A steel heart was praised as 'mental fortitude', but she knew that that was the biggest lie told! That wasn't strength; she wasn't strong! (But oh how she fooled both herself and everyone that mattered.)

"Are you being bullied?" 

"No."

' ...At least I didn't feel bullied.'

She wasn't strong at all, so what else could she have done? She did her best; she did what suited her; she did what would keep her going- 

"It's terrifying... I don't think she sees the other children as peers, more like... how a game player would look at a chess piece."

...Wasn't that enough?! "The world isn't fair..."

"...They scare me a little, Mitsuki."

What did she have to do to get something like 'love'?! Like 'will'? 

"If you really care about me, then-"

All this suffering that bore no results, yet she still moved forward, she still chased after her own shadow; she still spiralled. She still... couldn't help herself. It was a cycle that never faltered.

Of course she knew, deep down, that it was all just a meaningless mess.

Whatever this was, it grew warped and convoluted. To the point where her true, final 'end goal' was a peaceful death. (She only wanted to live a smooth life so she wouldn't stress Izuku out.)

She had this, so she shouldn't feel this. Do one thing, and this thing will happen.

(Follow Izuku with blind determination, and she'll forget her past.)

(Nothing can hurt you when your Hero is here! )

(Protect Izuku to protect herself.)

(He means everything to you! )

Break these 'rules'... then she's... Then she needs to take whatever beating her mind thinks she deserves. This was the way she lived.

(Dig too deep and nothing will make sense. Death will look too enticing again- 'To be, or not to be...')

"In some way, that's childish."

All of that was packaged underneath one pretty bowtie and, if someone pulled it too loose, everything falls apart.

Everything.

(Haha- It doesn't make sense! Nothing ever does.)

It'd just slowly become worse and worse, growing faker each day. When did protecting Izuku mean less about Izuku and more about herself? That selfishness she had... he didn't deserve it. 

Even though she knew this was coming, even though she knew- with shame- she deserved this, even though she knows that she has no right to feel this much pain and regret and guilt, it still hurts, so she cries.

(Stop with the dramatics. When she'd already hurt others with her presence, how could she act like she was a victim?)

It's warm, the embrace, but does she deserve that?

"I can't-" She gasped, voice wavering and thick as she withdrew her hands, clenching onto her bandaged arms and raking her fingers down her forearms for even a little bit of comfort- for the feelings she'd repressed to leave.

The arms around her loosen, and a ghostly voice asks warily- ("Kitomi?")

Her skin was raw and tingling uncomfortably. It was clammy with sweat and something that smelt like ointments or cream. The bandages were suffocating, and the hospital garb was rough. Someone had undressed her. Someone had touched her. (It only adds to the discomfort.) Her stomach was roiling. Her body ached. 

(This is what she gets.)

(No, no, no, but it's too unfair! That's not fair! )

Victim card.

(The world isn't fair. She knows that. The world isn't fair. It never has been and it never will be. "You gotta grit your teeth and go with it. ...Or don't if you can't.")

But-

(The world spins and the walls dip.)

Again-

"I can't. I can't, I can't-"

(She knew that this would happen all along. She has nothing to defend with- nothing to argue with. She doesn't deserve to try and fix this.)

"Take me seriously!"

Her entire body flinched from the words in her head- that scream that tore out of his throat like a roar would. It had cracked down the middle, an ugly split.

"I am! I swear I am, I'm just-" She shoved herself away and cold air chilled her. Her nails dug into the bandages, then her skin. She tried to get rid of the sores on her body with more pain- fresher pain. And her fingernails rake a path of refreshing stings.

"Take me seriously!"

(Shut up, shut UP! )

A broken sound erupted from her throat and she can feel the noise rattling in her chest. Her words sound loud in her head, but they come out like whispers, like wheezes of air.

"I'm sorry, I just- I didn't mean-"

Lies. She had it coming. (She had it coming.) She knew.

"-I'm sorry, I'm sorry-"

(She never does anything right.)

(Why must she?! Why can't she have what she wanted for once?!)

"Thanks for worrying, Domi, but Nii-chan can protect himself! I'm strong after all!"

She should've listened. She didn't respect his wishes. She just did whatever suited her. Selfish. How could she. How dare she.

(How dare Izuku?! )

"I told you already, didn't I? You will become a Hero."

"'And that's a thousand times stronger than 'can'', right?"

(How dare he, when she did so much for him?! How could he betray her like this- How dare he toss her aside after finally managing on his own?!)

"Nii-chan's stupid. You're already my Hero."

(How dare he be so inconsiderate when she did EVERYTHING to secure his comfort?! She was mad! She was ANGRY and she had EVERY RIGHT TO BE- How could he- How could he? How could he?!)

Victim playing.

('Stop blaming others when the fault obviously lies in you.')

She suddenly understood why alcoholics were alcoholics- Surely, if anything, that burn would get rid of thick throat, and tight chest. Surely, oblivion was the only way to fix this. 'They say it's the easy way out.'

("Grab her arms, you dolt! She's reopening all her wounds!")

She drew into herself, head tucked down, and arms going over her head, pulling at her hair. Everything hurt.

What was she going to do now? Apologise? No, it wouldn't work. (Why is she planning on manipulating him again?) What should she do? What can she do? 

"You know what you can do? You can go kill y-"

Why did she think she was allowed to do anything?

("Her Quirk is going off-")

"If you can't do it, then don't."

("Please- Is there anything I can do-")

Don't.

Do nothing.

Don't do anything.

("I'm going to sedate her.")

And so, she doesn't.

Tsukauchi was silent as he sat by her bedside, watching her with uneasiness. He got up and peered out the door where All Might and Aizawa are standing. The hallway was silent and empty. 

"Are you satisfied with your decision?" Aizawa asked lowly, not acknowledging the detective. "Midoriya's injuries, Bakugou's problems, and Kitomi getting the unholy mixture of both? You managed to fuck up your first lesson and four of your students by indulging Midoriya's personal issues and worse- validating his decision. ...So? You satisfied?"

All Might was motionless as he stared out the window. He turned to face the other man. "You know I'm not, Aizawa. How could I ever be satisfied with this? You know I never wanted anything like-"

An ice cold glare cuts him off.

"Then take better responsibility," He bit out. "-If there's a 'next time'."

-Izuku-

He'd never seen Ochaco like that. That angry, disdainful, with an edge of loathing in her eyes. It hurt him far more than he expected from someone he'd recently met.

Why was everyone against him? Did they want him to stay like the way he was before? A coward, a liar, a no-good wimp. Deku. 

His fingertips were cool as they met his smarting cheek. He's glad the hall is loud, and only a few heads were turned before he was granted the decency of privacy. 

"Recovery Girl said that she could have died." Ochaco said near silently. "If she hadn't reacted so quickly to my scream, if she wasn't as well-trained, if she wasn't as strong as she was- Apparently for children like us, it's only a few 'if's that bar us from death. She'd gone through so much. At least give her... that."

Izuku gnawed on the insides of his cheek. He didn't need to be guilt-tripped about this. Didn't Ochaco herself say that they were completely different issues? He was fine with apologising for getting her in the range of his attack, but that felt cheap. That felt like he was trying to indirectly apologise for his words.

Whatever Ochaco says wouldn't hurt more than the guilt and fear he'd felt himself.

It was worse than being dumped into ice cold water. It was a wave of fear that locked every bit of his body. It made the air tighten and freeze around him. 

It had been adrenaline and his less-than-fine condition that didn't allow him to comprehend Ochaco's scream in that last moment. But when he woke up and noticed another curtain drawn up besides him, he'd felt... 

The world drop from underneath his feet. The first conclusion he met was death. Murder.

He'd thrown up, choked on his mess, and cried into it in the short span of time before Recovery Girl had told him- or rather, before he registered Recovery Girl's words. She was alive. He hadn't just killed his precious twin sister.

He used that fact to repress all those other unnecessary emotions. What use was it to feel guilty over something Kitomi wasn't hurt most about? He hardly felt regret at saying the things he said, so the two thoughts clashed violently against each other.

Yet in that time, the shitty, disgusting part of himself reared its ugly head. He'd been mad for a single moment that Kitomi would have passed without getting what he wanted to tell her. That he'd be feeling guilty for the rest of his life because he didn't get the confrontation- the talk that he wanted.

There had always been that edge of concern that enraged him. And his anger fed on itself because he knew the concern was deserved. He was angry that she- Kitomi and his mother were right. He was angry at the teachers, his classmates, those bystanders, his mother, his sister, and himself. 

But he, selfish and hypocritical, could only direct that anger onto the ones who gave him concern- to the ones who cared most about himself. (Because he himself certainly didn't...)

And so he hated it. He felt like a pet. He felt weak. He felt like he was treated as a glass doll while Kitomi who was his twin- his younger sister, was resilient in any way possible. She had even faked being weak. It was about the greatest offense he'd ever felt, even while knowing why she might've done it.

She wasn't strong enough to resist her urge to reach for him. A hand on his arm, his shoulder, his hand. Tugging, dragging, pulling.

Hands everywhere reaching for him.

She was worse than his mother- even she had eventually excepted it, yet Kitomi merely grew worse. And the hate for her concern- her care- slowly turned onto Kitomi herself. All of their relationship now was Kitomi trying to hide him from the world. The world that he wanted to explore and protect. He wanted to become a Hero.

And she- And Kitomi-

He'd snapped like an elastic band, but only so harshly because she pulled it too far. 

He wasn't going to apologise.

Kitomi was so strong-

('Stronger than you,' Whispered his mind. 'Too strong.')

-So she would be fine. She'd recover fast because she was strong. Kitomi was always so very strong. 

She wouldn't even be mad at him because she'd know he didn't mean to injure her. And even for those words-

Izuku owed her nothing. 

Definitely not when she didn't even give him the room to breathe.

(He just wants someone to get him and his 'impossible' dreams, and the determined pursuits to make them possible.)

(Someone like Kacchan.)

The rest of Ochaco's words seemed to die in her mouth as she gauged the expression on his face. She pulled out a seat and sat down on his table, slumping onto it, head buried in her arms. She let out a low groan and he felt his anger flare again. Would Kitomi ruin this friendship of his as well?

The gnawing guilt (he's still so weak) deflated his anger and it passed as quickly as it came.

Tenya's eyes were like lasers on his food. "While I don't understand all that was going on," He said tersely. "I believe Izuku-kun should not apologise when he doesn't mean it. Kitomi-san would see right through it anyway. Although, it's best to acknowledge what happened rather than running away and ignoring it."

"I know. It's not like I'm... It's not like I never want to see her ever again. I don't hate her." He'll go after he finishes his food. He'll steel himself and see her. Izuku had to settle this properly.

After all, Kitomi was still his precious little sister and there were some things- even if it was the chains of his past- that he had to protect.

All Might met him near the doorway and he looked a little pale. "Young Midoriya, it's best you wait a little before seeing your sister. She's just been sedated."

"Sedated?" He echoed with a frown, panic creeping within him. "What- What's wrong with her? Did she get worse?"

The Hero stayed silent for a short while. "I am not too sure. You're better off asking Aizawa-sensei or Naomasa- er the detective. They're with Recovery Girl right now."

"Tsukauchi-san?" Izuku felt his frown deepen and moved forward- "It sounds pretty bad, so I should probably-"

"Stop right there, Young Midoriya." All Might put a hand on his shoulder. "It's best-" He repeated, pausing a little before continuing. "It's best you wait a little before seeing her."

So he waits and stews in his thoughts on the other end of the hallway. 

The infirmary is quiet and empty when she wakes again.

The situation is reset. 

A smile is glued to her face. The smile she wears in the face of clerks or shopkeepers; they were too distant for a genuine smile, yet enough politeness was required that she couldn't give them a neutral expression, judgemental up-down or raised eyebrow. Not that they usually deserve one.

She can't lie nor act for her life. But she can blank her face, insert a single expression, and leave it there.

The door slides open slowly and Izuku's eyes immediately shoot to read her expression. He scans her eyes and looks for something he can respond to. There is no remorse nor guilt nor kindness nor anything inviting about her smile.

But it's a smile.

Her words are well-planned and simple. They are spoken without any edge and would shut down any further attempts for conversation: "I understand. You don't need to say anything more, Izuku. I'll stay away for as long as wanted. I won't bother you again."

He leaves.

The situation is resolved. 

It goes exactly as she planned.

Do nothing. Don't do anything.

('We'll be together forever.' They had once promised.)

She'd been holding onto a severed end. That promise had been broken long ago.

('Just be there.' Tsukauchi had once told her.)

Now, she wouldn't even do that.

-Izuku-

When he faces her half an hour later, he's greeted by a small, polite smile on her face and a blankness to her demeanour. He couldn't read the expression on her face anymore, and not even her eyes, which used to betray all that she was feeling and thinking.

A cold feeling took over him, like he'd been submerged underwater. The thought comes unbidden-

'This is what it was like to be shut down by Kitomi.'

And for a moment, he panicked and opened his mouth to spew whatever he could to fix this. (As always, he was a coward.)

He said he was going to settle this once and for all, and like he'd concluded with his friends, he would clearly explain everyth-

"I understand," Kitomi interrupted calmly, before he could even utter a sound. His mouth clicked shut. "You don't need to say anything more, Izuku."

Even though she often called him by his given name, the lack of familial honorifics felt like a punch in the gut.

"Don't use that voice on me." Izuku had once said to her when they were four and young. "It's scary."

There was a ghostly tone to her voice when she distanced herself. Growing up with her he could easily recognise when the subtle warmth of her tone flattened out into a smooth and cold monotone. It was like a still ocean, unmoving, eerie, and unknown.

"I'll stay away for as long as wanted." She confirmed. "I won't bother you again."

Her smile widened the slightest bit, serene and warm. (Fake.) He felt a chill run down his spine. Izuku gave a slow nod, frowning the slightest bit. Well, she looked alright with it. She looked content. (Idiot. 'You're an idiot.') Perhaps he should've made this decision faster. ('You think you've changed... You haven't. You're just as pathetic as before, if not worse.')

He walked out after returning an uneasy smile, swallowing rants down his throat, with a sick feeling in his stomach.

He now slightly understood why the neighbourhood kids were scared by her stare. Tears brimmed in his eyes, but each drop that spilt felt heavy with an unexplained remorse. 

All his prior thoughts felt like lies, and he didn't trust his mind. 

('Useless, you.')

And he couldn't even deny that imaginary voice.

Chapter Text

Tsukauchi returned as soon as Izuku left, and Kitomi doesn't know how to feel around him. He carried that usual sense of ease that makes her doubt whether or not she'd actually had some sort of breakdown in his arms. There should be more awkwardness.

"What are you doing here, Detective?" She asked, face still arranged in that impeccable mask. Tsukauchi made a constipated face that chipped the expression off and had her snorting.

"How are you feeling, Kitomi?" 

"We're seriously doing this?" She glanced around. It was empty. "In the bloody infirmary?"

"Yes, sooner or later. You're going to be on bed rest for quite a while." Tsukauchi shot her a look. "Recovery Girl gave me an entire list."

"You? Tsukauchi-san?" Kitomi gave him an uncertain up-down look.

"Hey, watch it. I'm trustworthy."

"Of course." She rolled her eyes. It was so easy to slide into this routine. "How badly was I injured?" She frowned. "I was barely conscious after I heard Ochaco scream."

He narrowed his eyes at her, "You tell me. You were completely weightless and the shockwave of that full-powered attack which- mind you- demolished basically the entire building, hit you dead on. No pun intended. Why am I making so many today? "

"I'm not dead, so that doesn't qualify as a pun." Kitomi deadpanned, arching a brow. "I'm assuming some miracle happened: angle my head wrong and it would've snapped right off."

"That's exactly right." He didn't bother mincing his words. "The initial impact alone gave you a few dislocations, hairline fractures, and other body-wide mild injuries, but it sailed you right into the ceiling where you luckily only got severe bruising and broken ribs if you didn't get it before. If you tried to put some limb in between, it would've shattered, FYI."

She wrinkled her nose. "I know. You don't have to warn me."

If it was anyone else in the class in her position... escaping death would have been an actual miracle. One would be surprised how many people didn't know how to do basic breakfalling. In fact, so many injuries happened in her old world just from being shoved and landing wrong- or even just tripping. Even with the strange evolved bodies, what happened to her could spell fatality for many.

Tsukauchi laughed, but flicked her forehead in warning. "Indeed. But take this seriously, Kitomi. It was really dangerous. Obviously, there were debris and some glass in the mix, so you also sustained a concussion and a few lacerations. Then Uraraka-san released you and your impact with the floor just made everything worse."

"I could've sworn I used my Quirk to lessen the impact..."

"You did. But it still jostled your ribs and nearly poked a hole in your lungs. The fact that you kept fighting and used your Quirk just turned 'worse' to 'worst'. Internal bleeding is in the list as well, by the way."

"Surely this 'list' doesn't exist." Kitomi raised both eyebrows now. "You're rattling off every injury in the book." 

"Yeah?" The wad of folded papers he pulled out and threw at her wiped the expression right off her face as she scanned it. Tsukauchi raised his eyebrows right back. "That's what I thought." 

She huffed and folded it back up. "Was that all? It sounds manageable. I still feel terrible."

"I suppose so." The detective pursed his lips. "The main problem is that the damage is everywhere, so you can't be healed easily. Well, now your bones are all reset and in place, but not fully healed. Your larger cuts are partially healed but all your smaller bruises and scrapes will have to heal naturally or a day later when you're rested."

"Not enough stamina for Recovery Girl?"

"That's an understatement: you're suffering from pretty bad fatigue, so you've been given threats to not use your Quirk, rest and take care of yourself. You should watch out for low-grade fevers while you're at it."

"Fevers? I thought I'd grown out of Quirk overuse." Kitomi's face held a sense of disdain.

"You did. It's a combination of a half-destroyed body and using your Quirk on top of it that makes you vulnerable."

The disdain intensified. "What fragility."

"Stop pouting." 

"I am not-"

Tsukauchi cut her off with a Look and she tossed the 'Look' right back. 

He sighed. "You going to talk about what happened with Izuku now?"

She shot him the dirtiest look he'd ever seen before. He raised his eyebrows. She sighed. Then she just stared at him.

"I." Kitomi drawled. "I am in no mood to discuss anything that may compromise the tentative mental equilibrium my mind has laboriously toiled for." Then she stared again and sighed, as if indulging him. "Ask away then, Detective. What information are you requiring now?"

Tsukauchi rubbed at his forehead. "Jeez, Kitomi, I'm not going to- Well, I will aim to ensure the state of your mind is not disrupted." He mimicked her AI-like drone. "What are you going to do now?"

As if not expecting that question, Kitomi went silent. "...I suppose I will request for a transferral."

"You're leaving UA?" He asked, startled.

"No, I remember there were some tricky contracts about that, and it feels drastic to completely drop out or something... And also about Izuku, I still have to..." She shook her head. "No. ...No, I'm just transferring classes." Kitomi shrugged half-heartedly.

"It'd be awkward, you know? 1B... or even Gen-Ed. I... don't truly want to become a Hero. I think. I'm not sure."

"Lots of people aren't sure, Kitomi." He said gently. "You don't need to be so quick about your decision. You shouldn't feel like you're being forced out."

"Kinda am." She snorted. "I don't know how I'm feeling right now, but I really don't want to... hear... whatever- onslaught of emotions or frustrations Izuku prepares to confess."

The briefest amount of relief entered Tsukauchi's face and she frowned as she tried to find the reason behind why.

"...The urge was there to act like some human punching bag for his problems, but... I'm too pathetic to take it. And even though I shouldn't, I can't help but feel angry. Pettiness is quite shameful for me to admit I have."

"I'm... We need to unravel that mess." Tsukauchi narrowed his eyes at her. "You sound delusional."

She gave him a flat stare. It used to deter him, but now he barely blinked at it.

"Actually, I was planning on sleeping," Kitomi said abruptly, lying down and pulling the covers over her. "So I'd appreciate it if you would take your leave. Bye Detective."

"What a holy sense of déjà vu. Come on, really?" His voice held an unreadable tone. Tsukauchi's voice softened and lowered. "You scare the shit out of me, kid."

Huh. Not past tense. So the scaring is ongoing.

"...Planning on prolonging your unwelcome stay again, Detective?" Kitomi replied blankly, staunching the bubbling feeling of a tentative threat inside of her.

She wasn't permitting herself to cry a second time. She sat up and stared at him.

Kitomi sighed, "How can I help you manage your faecal problems, Tsukauchi-san?"

"Unfortunately for you, there isn't anything you can do to help with that." He sighed back. She was beginning to feel (good-natured, if possible) hate towards this person. "Do your kid magic and give the old man a hug, won't you?"

"I'm sceptical. I don't think I have the 'kid magic'." Kitomi eyed him, his eye bags and his lack of wrinkles, before obliging. Mentally, he must be more than 'ancient'. "If it'll comfort you, very well then."

Hugs were criminally comforting. They could feel like anything from a prison to fluffy marshmallow pillows. Her mother had only held her like this once. 

...Behold, the eye leak commences once again.

"It's amazing how you openly judge my appearance before not correcting my age." He muttered sarcastically. 

"I believe you're short on years left considering the amount of 'decades' I'd 'shaved off'." She quoted. "Elderly Tsukauchi-sama."

"Cantankerous, rambunctious brat." He insulted in a deadpan. "Never change. ...Unless it's benefitting of your mental health-"

"Shut up, please. ...With due respect."

"-Excuse my bluntness, but having watched the fight, Bakugou's behaviour was clearly driven by some personal grudge, and thus, totally haphazard in his actions. He failed communication with Kitomi-san and proceeded with mindless hostility. Furthermore, as Sensei had said, a large-range attack in an indoor arena is just-" 

She grimaced.

"-Plain idiotic."

There's a beat of loud silence as she seemed to brace herself for some sort of reaction. There is none.

"The same reasoning goes for Midoriya. Recklessness and self-destructive tendencies paired with personal relationships dragged into the activity. Ochaco-san failed to properly adapt to the scenario and her general performance was... lacking, but she... did not fault as much as the others. And finally, Kitomi-san..."

Katsuki finally lifted his gaze and stared at the screen that was flicking through various camera angles, a play back of the activity. 

"She held all the best points and the worst points of this activity." The ponytail girl looked pained. "Kitomi-san completely ignored the intention of the activity and didn't bother with trying to devise a strategy."

Kitomi. The screen flicked through scenes before settling on her frame. The part where she talked to Katsuki and then chased after him.

"She left the 'bomb' unguarded and then failed to engage combat when it was two versus two, and instead attacked her teammate. But afterwards, she  successfully returned to the 'bomb' while wearing down her opponent. She was at an advantage and dominated the fight against Ochaco-san. Then-"

He felt his face twist painfully as he watched Round Face's mouth open in a scream, as the floors blew out one by one, as Kitomi's face froze right before the impact hit her.

"Her final stand is uncertain for me. On one hand, it displays enormous amounts of survivor instincts, perseverance, and ability."

Katsuki watched as Kitomi's eyes fell half-lidded in that split second when she fell: judging whether or not she'd try. Whether or not it was worth it. Whether or not she'd just fall and stay lying. It was that look she always had when they were together in their childhood.

Then she closed her eyes as she impacted against the floor, a small wince flashing over her face. He watched as Round Face paled and shuddered, shaking in the knees. She ran clumsily forward with frenzied eyes and mouth open in what looked like a scream. 

With horrified awe and something like cruel satisfaction, he watched as Kitomi got up. 

And why? Why? Because Katsuki was grimly happy- or was he? Could he be? Should he be?

"On the other, it was beyond reckless and pushing the limits. It was most responsible for Kitomi-san to prioritise her safety and accept the loss." Then the ponytail girl hesitated. "No... that's incorrect. ... 'Allow the loss' rather than 'accept the loss'. "

Kitomi attacked with a cleanness and elegance to her movements that sparked the fires of obsessive rivalry again. She left a trail of blood in her wake, and her expression was almost bored if not for that unfamiliar glint of determination in her eyes. 

"I believe none of us here-" Her hand spread towards the rest of their classmates. "-expected Kitomi-san to get up. We fully expected the match to end there, but it was certainly underestimating Kitomi-san. She only continued to overpower her opponent despite the unpredictable wit of their plan: it was only the rules that had it in 'stalemate' before Bakugou's intervention. Indeed, if she hadn't acted against Ochaco-san-"

The next few words had made Katsuki feel something he couldn't identify.

"The Hero Team would have won right then and there. If there was one, the MVP title would have to go to Kitomi-san."

They'd won. But only just.

They should've won by a landslide, but for once, Katsuki didn't feel any urge to complain or feel frustrated. He was just... confused.

He didn't know what to feel, seeing his self-proclaimed 'rival' from childhood like that. She was far from pathetic like that time they were eight, but she was... injured, beaten- She looked defeated, covered in blood- but not really- and... That round faced girl had told Deku she nearly died. And the nerd- he just...

How could Katsuki complain about any of this? It wasn't like he was expecting something superhuman. Katsuki didn't think he was demanding some otherworldly, impossible thing. It wasn't like he was that tactless- or rather, stupid to pretend whatever happened between the twins could be brushed off.

Katsuki wasn't that... shallow. 

He had just thought that... He had just thought of her eyes, those words, her loser mentality.

"I just don't want to!" She had said. "I just want a normal, untroubled life, so I'm not your rival!"

From years ago, he had just thought: 'Kitomi must be mocking me.'

She was so amazingly strong after all- No, not 'strong': powerful. Katsuki couldn't name any concrete evidence because that creep always tried to avoid his challenges, but he knew that no matter how much someone would praise him as the best of the best, he would think 'no, that's wrong.' 

He had to beat Kitomi first before he could dare call himself 'best'.

Katsuki could give no shit about Kitomi's reputation, or gender, or background or whatever stupid bias the world of brats and adults and teachers and extras liked to make around them. 

No, Katsuki wasn't asking for anything beyond comprehension: just Kitomi at her best. Anything less than that was just an insult.

And insulted he was.

That tone, that expression- That pathetic look hadn't suited her- It doesn't. It never would. There was a bitter taste of disappointment, anger, and hurt he felt that cut deeper than he expected.

But she came to UA. Even if it was for her brother, she still came. She took the exam and scored high. She'd been there, he had learnt. There at the gym, silent but ever-present. She had tried. She had worked. 

If she wasn't doing her best, then what was she doing? What's the point of putting in 99% of effort and not following through?

In that very first day, after Kitomi's half-assed performance and the complete blank-out she had during the Apprehension Test, Katsuki had to think. He was confused after all- a rare feeling considering his natural ingeniousness paired with his perfectionist attitude.

What did 'the best' mean for Kitomi? And should he really be ignoring the stuff that goes on in people's heads? Mental illnesses and whatever had always been laughable for him: his MO was all about doing what was capable after all. 

If someone could walk, then walk. If they couldn't, crawl. If they have a functioning brain, study. A functioning body: train. If they got 99%, reach for 100%. Fuck whatever bullshit excuses others use... right?

Be the best. Use everything you have. Do everything you can.

He would become the best. But he wouldn't ever be truly the best if others had the potential to be better.

'If you want to survive in this world and scramble to the top, and fight me at the peak.'

But... that bloody shrink had said that was a Katsuki problem.

Well, in a more formal and nicer way, but Katsuki wasn't dumb. Words had passed through the man's lips- trauma, he'd said about that Villain incident. But since a while ago, there had been things that were not as alright as he thought they were. Anger, obsession, perfectionism, narcissism, pride-

Issues, the man had mentioned. Issues, complexes, disorders, diseases, support, therapy, medication, get tested for this, get tested for that- 

It didn't fucking matter. Not when he was going to become the Number One Hero. ...Or did it? 

"I don't want anyone becoming like All Might. Thinking of him just makes me feel sad."

(Golden eyes had always haunted him. He never knows how to think of Kitomi.)

Katsuki didn't even know why he relented in the first place: a fucking psychiatrist. 

It was kinda funny: it was the first time he'd seen his dad more angry than his mom. 

Usually it was his mother, screaming and hugging like some dying koala with the quiet, seething affection that neither of them acknowledged. She'd smack him over the head after scanning for injuries and yell her worry out. His dad would have his hands out placatingly before smiling in that soft mushy way of his and say something like- "I'm glad you're alright."

But this time... his mom that was silent and uncertain. They were both pale-faced, shaking, staring at him with a fear that escaped his understanding because what had been the big deal? 

He was alive. He was alive and intact and it wasn't the first time he'd been in dangerous situations- Hell, they had even laughed that one time he took a tumble down the playground monkey bars. Well, his mom did while his dad fretted as usual. They were used to him coming home with bruises and exhaustion, and were already too tired to yell at him for pulling all-nighters. They knew he would handle himself.

But that time... That time after that Villain attack... everything changed.

Katsuki had yelled at their faces- screamed his frustrations, anger, and eventually, fear. Scared words shouted with a splitting voice. He hated their uncharacteristic fear. He hated that. Hated that he knew that they knew that he knew that something was really, really wrong.

Why did he flinch at the fucking sponge? Or at the bloody tissue box just because it was a certain shade of green? Why did he break the sink at the feeling of cold water? Why was he- why was he scared? (And even the internal confession has him reeling and cringing in disgust and self-loathing.)

Why? Why? Why was he acting in a way he didn't understand?

His mom had stayed silent, saying no more than a few hushed words of- "Katsuki..." that angered him further, scared him further. And so he screamed at them more. He screamed to find that spark of irritation. 

If everyone was screaming, it'd be alright. Screams meant genuine emotions- outbursts of emotions that was like... open communication (quoted by his shrink) but probably the less socially approved version. He knew what his mom would be feeling and his parents would know what he would be feeling, and no one would ever take offence because that was just how it is.

But no one raised their voice apart from him.

His mother- His mom of all people brought up- brought up fucking- a mental health doctor like he was sick or damaged or something and he'd screamed again. Curses, insults- the phrases that had gotten him ear pulls and slaps in the past. He swore at his parents, then at his grandparents, then their friends and that fucking nerd. His mom used to smack him if he talked shit about Deku and Aunt Inko. Then- they didn't.

He'd screamed so much- More than he ever had. Hours, probably, or maybe his perception of time had just been warped. It was the first time his throat had gotten hoarse from it after all. Then when he could do nothing more but cough on his own voice, his dad had snapped back in a chilling tone, eyes dead serious and furious. Not at him, Katsuki thinks. There was no reason for his dad to be angry at Katsuki: he did that to himself enough.

The stupid shrink said so too. About both of those. Concern, the man had said, making Katsuki bodily cringe. That happened a lot: the cringing.

That's bullying, you understand? 

You're not okay.

There's nothing wrong with change. 

It's just scary, and that's okay.

We can fix this.

'Fix your face first,' He remembered sneering because Katsuki didn't need some trashy otaku-speak fixing like he was some broken comic character 'bad boy' with a bleeding heart. It gave him the creeps, every appointment. And he didn't know whether or not it was his usual 'cringe' or visceral discomfort at this point.

Eventually, the shrink's hypnotising started to work. He started feeling bad. Ish. Not really. He started to feel less angry, more calm. There was uncertainty, but there were still things he wanted to confirm.

But then UA, the nerd's Quirk, and then-

Kitomi. Kitomi dying but not dying, but it was that close. 

(Katsuki thought it'd be easy peasy to do what the damned psych told him to do, but when it came down to it, it... just escaped him.)

And to think that it was because of Deku's attack. To think that... Deku, who wasn't as weak as he expected, chose not to attack him, but instead to proceed with his plan to win- which failed- ended up hurting his sister who... cared so much about him that she had-

He never thought that Deku was anyone who could hurt. He was too weak to. (Too nice, but he didn't care about that quality anymore.) It was hard to think about Deku because he couldn't help feeling some things. His shrink was useless.

(Again, he considered firing the smartass man because clearly nothing was changing, but he knows that he'd get wrestled into a Talk.)

Then he scoffed at his thoughts. More like he was useless. 

Katsuki was confused and it felt like nothing he could do could fix it.

He knew there was frustration in there, but that was old news. That ponytail girl and her words. That ice dude and his strength. To think Deku could do that felt like a failure by itself. Was everyone joking him?

What part of this says 'he's the best'?

Was everyone just mocking him? Knowing he'd reach this and laugh at his short-sightedness?

He felt like he was drowning. Everyone was running ahead into their Hero Academia and he was here. Still. Unmoving.

They lied. 

But it wasn't a lie.

He was the best. He had to be the best. If the world thought it was a lie, he'd just have to shake them by the collar and prove it to them.

Right?

Confusion. There was too much confusion.

Yes, frustration. Yes, anger- but was he angry?

He shouldn't be.

Not when all he could see was blood and a mangled body, half-lidded golden eyes that sucked him in. Disappointment, disdain, regret.

"I don't care about winning!"

At the start, and at the very end, those eyes said the same thing. Then what was she doing? Back then, at UA, and even now?

What was Katsuki feeling? Confusion, duh. No! That's not a satisfying enough answer-

The anger from all those years ago hadn't ceased completely, but now he was left with mixed signals. He was left with questions.

Confusion. (The only definite answer. And the only one he couldn't trust.)

"Don't be afraid, Katsuki." His dumb shrink had said. 

Fine then. Katsuki was going to get them answered today.

Katsuki finished his lunch and ignored the weird 'manliness'-obsessed redhead's insistent cries of 'wait up!' or whatever.

In class or at home: she was just down the street anyway.

Katsuki and Kitomi would have another talk, and this time, he'll be in control.

-Kitomi-

Lunchtimes were an hour long, but time didn't really seem linear with the amount of people talking to her.

Ochaco came after and sobbed in her lap. It ended in a promise to train together and a reassurance that it was alright. Kitomi felt bad that she was trapped between herself and Izuku. After all, going to either person would make her feel guilty, so she constantly told her to hang out with Izuku if she would like to. 

Ochaco merely cried harder and continued in a rant about why everything was wrong and that Kitomi most definitely was not wrong for caring and that Izuku most definitely, definitely still cared about her too.

If anything, Kitomi was grateful to have another outside perspective; she needed a wide variety of options on how to act after this incident.

Kyouka, Momo and Mina stumbled in as a three before stumbling out at Ochaco's sobbing form. Then at her insistence, they crowded around her bed. 

Mina rambled on about the rest of the activity while Momo gave in the details. She'd mentally constructed profiles for each of their classmates already. It was beyond impressive. Then Kyouka admitted that she'd overheard some... personal things while trying to gather information on Kitomi's state. 

Kitomi gave the vague outline of her childhood with Ochaco's aid because context mattered, and then had to awkwardly pat Kyouka on the back as she offered a teary hug, restrain a raging Mina and catch a small 'comfort' teddy bear that Momo had created. Then Momo gave Ochaco one as well.

Then Mina abruptly asked with starry eyes for a pink one as well. Then the five had matching teddy bears. Turns out Momo learnt how to make them so she could comfort children or victims of accidents or attacks.

Lunchtime ended, but Kitomi didn't return to class.

"Oh dear, not even a day of consideration and you've already requested for a transferral?"

"I haven't requested yet, Principal Nedzu, which begs the question why you know." Kitomi returned in a flat tone.

"A touch disrespectful, but I'll allow it." The... creature said cheerily. 

"Oh, is it?" Kitomi was actually a little surprised- and doubly at the fact that Nedzu just offhandedly pointed it out. "My apologies."

"No, no, it is most definitely alright. I do find your person to be interesting to study." His eyes met mine and the intelligence in that nonhuman face made her blink.

Although she had seen them in the distance or online before, it was still... rather intriguing how the world had evolved to this point. So in a way, she 'could say the same for Principal Nedzu.' Of course she didn't say that aloud though. From the widened grin on his face, maybe he could tell anyway.

"After all, there aren't many people who could say they're in the situation you're in."

"No one can say they're in the situation someone else is in." Kitomi replied, though her confusion curved the end of her sentence to sound like a question.

"Prodigy, supposedly, but prodigies are idolised, popular, and definitely not self-taught since early childhood. Scored high on the entrance exam, defeated the zero pointer, but has no desperate drive and rather spite." Nedzu mused. "A fair few interesting... traits you have- what with the questionable appearance you present... Your ideals... You don't like Heroes, but you're not against them. And a Quirkless brother that suddenly obtained a superhuman power..."

She stayed silent, waiting for him to continue. If there was a bait in those words that she was meant to take, she couldn't identify it.

"Anyhow, a transferral, was it?" He clasped his... paws... together. 

"Yes sir," Kitomi nodded. "To 1B most preferably. I'm aware of classroom sizes and unequal numbers, so I don't mind a general education course."

There was a pause.

Then he smiled, bright and scary.

"Absolutely not!"

Kitomi smiled back, mirthlessly, "Well damn. May I be granted an explanation why and a chance for negotiation or a proposed argument?"

"Of course." He said through his smile. "Now you're speaking my language."

Chapter Text

-House (home?)-

From the sound of the footsteps, she knows it's not Izuku. Not that Kitomi would've expected him to approach her. That only leaves one more person out of the three including her who would know to find her here.

"Katsuki," She doesn't look up. "No." 

She sees a largening shadow from the corner of her eye as the brute pointedly ignored her. She startled when a hand slammed onto the space above her head.

Dramatic much. "Don't command me like some mutt," Comes out with equal melodrama.

Kitomi sighed into her knees as she shifted into a cross-legged position, head raising. Her eyes, uncovered, adjust and it's lucky that the timing made the lights dim and her vision obscure.

She's met with the sight of a determined looking Katsuki, patched up in bandages and band-aids. There was one slapped onto his jaw and Kitomi flexed her fingers absently as she remembered that blow she struck on him. She didn't feel guilty about that at all.

"What are you doing here?" Kitomi asked, trying to charge as much respectful hostility in her voice as possible. There were accusations and words poised to hurt in the back of her head, but she didn't feel it within herself to speak them.

Not that it'd deter him anymore than that biting remark. Nothing she did had really deterred him- apart from that fight they had years ago, but that was obviously not an option: she wasn't willing to break down like that again ever. And most definitely not in front of him. 

"What are you doing? Brooding?" He sneered, jamming his hands into his pockets. ...One hand misses and Kitomi snorted openly. Red started to creep up his face and he scowled. Kitomi stared at him flatly, slowly arching a completely unimpressed brow, and his attempt at towering over her now looks awkward at best.

There's almost nostalgia in these familiar, nearly comedic, interactions. To finish this old song-and-dance all she needed to do was smile in amusement despite herself and he'd storm away, all huffy. But it was not nostalgia. Almost. There's too much that happened.

And so, she coolly asked, "What business is it to you?"

Instantly, the scowl on his face dropped for a much more conflicted one. Her brow lifted higher inquisitively and, in a subconscious response, he rolled a shoulder absently- half a shrug, half just some action to bide time for himself. She knew the buttons to press- just how observant he was to these minute tellings of hers. 

Then resolve steeled over his features. "I want to talk. Now."

She immediately closes her eyes to calm herself, and more importantly- her Quirk, down. There was such an urge to forcibly hurl Katsuki back and out of this place.

Kitomi tasted sourness in her mouth. It was neither the time nor place. Here she was, curled up and- indeed- brooding in the solace of the hidey hole that they'd used in their childhood.

No doubt Izuku forgot these. These memories of happiness- of naivety. She hadn't cared a bit for this, hadn't even bothered remembering the stupid name Katsuki and Izuku had created for this place. For Izuku, all of this had been a lie. A paradise. It was some forbidden memory, a set up for that tragic revealing of his Quirklessness.

But for Kitomi, it was the opposite. So she doesn't want to tarnish this place with the blood and tears of them- one of them, or both.

Kitomi opened her eyes and moves to say- Later, or somewhere else, or even the more emotionally charged- Why? To make you feel better about yourself? but maybe the unwillingness was more visible than she thought because he blurted a mumbled- "Please." And it halted her spiteful train of thought.

Because if this conversation was equally hard for him as it was for her, then she'd probably feel a little less uncomfortable, for reasons unexplained. Equal through suffering, she supposed.

"...That's unfair." She breathed, more to herself, and that phantom voice responded by script, "The world isn't fair-" 

This might be the 'only' time that Katsuki would 'lower himself' into saying such a word, so it'd be 'her fault' if she was to turn him down. It'd be 'selfish'. And so, because of these burdened feelings and because of that hope that always got her in trouble, she decided to indulge him. 

Indulge herself, mimicking the 'Kitomi' from years ago and praying (but does she really care about Katsuki changing?) that the response would show something to believe in.

"You want to talk, huh." Kitomi echoed. "But..."

"Did you even listen to me?! Back then?!"

"Do you want to listen?" She challenged. "Will you?" 

Back then, Kitomi had sobbed for the first time. She'd cried for hours and hours for the first time. She didn't know how much she'd cared until that day; didn't know how thin the line between 'thinking she didn't care' and 'truly caring' actually was.

"Did you remember a word of what I said that day, one year ago?!"

"Do you remember a word of what I said that day-" Kitomi swallowed and refused to feel anything. "-Six years ago?"

Something passes over his face and for one incredulous second, Kitomi almost thinks of it as guilt. 

"Yeah." He mumbled. Then, grumbling, he cleared his voice a little. "Yeah. I'll listen. And I remembered. Of course I'd remember. It was so fucking angering."

The acceptance was so casual- or perhaps she was still a little shocked from what happened with Izuku, that she actually choked a little. "Do you think yourself so close to me that I'd trust your words so easily?"

"No." Katsuki's lips pinched together for a moment. Then he smirked sardonically, looking away and speaking louder. "No. You hate my fucking guts. You'd trust my pride. You'd trust that I wouldn't sink to that level. If I just wanted an answer, I wouldn't lie; I'd strangle it out of you forcibly."

At that, Kitomi can only laugh hollowly.

"Why are you-" Then Katsuki gave a short and bratty- "Urgh." He huffed. "Whatever. But no more mind games. My parents are going to beat my arse if I don't get home before curfew-"

"You still have curfew?" Kitomi can't help but ask amusedly. (Almost) nostalgia again as Katsuki flushed angrily at that tone of her voice. Perhaps she shouldn't relish too much in his embarrassment. "Whatever then." She waved off. "What was it?"

"...This isn't the question, but-" Katsuki paused, his voice lowering the slightest bit. "Why aren't you, you know, more pissed at me?"

And he has tact. If that wasn't news, Kitomi didn't know what was.

"I don't even remember." Kitomi's eyes closed for a moment. "It's all so far away, you know? I'm pissed, but I can't... be bothered."

Right. That was probably the right way to explain it. There was a heaviness in her movements, and her mind felt swampy. Anger would merely tire her out, a short fuse that she can't bother nor afford to light.

"You're not even acting in a way I could get upset at. Luck's on your side today, Katsuki. Or... you're just acting differently than usual which would garner, maybe, enough curiosity to override whatever anger I had."

He neither denied nor confirmed. After all, no one could be an accurate judge of themselves and whatever change they might've gone through. Instead, he asked the question that he had never dared to. 

"Back then," Katsuki used her words. "Six years ago... why... did you say what you said?"

She chuckled airily. "You'll have to be more specific than that."

"You... didn't want to do it." Katsuki muttered, watching his breaths cloud in the air. The evening was starting to chill. "You didn't want to become my rival- fine, but it wasn't because I wasn't good enough for you. It was because you wanted a normal... untroubled life..."

Kitomi paused for a while, "You remember those exact words, huh." Then again, she did remember that fight as well. It had been so... big. In her monotonous, flat life, sparks of highly intense, highly saturated vividness were all but engraved into her mind, whether it was a good kind or bad.

"Isn't it kind of sad how no one understands the ideal of a regular life nowadays, Katsuki?"

"Don't- Could you not ask those annoying questions? They make my brain hurt." Then added belatedly, "Please."

She laughed shortly again, wondering what kind of high he was on to be able to utter that word of 'please', not once but twice. "They're meant to. I can only ask 'annoying questions' because there are no definite answers that I can provide, nor that I could expect. Believe it or not, Katsuki, some people do crave normality."

"If you say 'normality'... Normality is..." Katsuki waved his hand around. "This."

If the context was anything else, she would've snorted at that and played a smartass.

"For you, maybe." Kitomi blowed warm air onto her reddening hands. "For me, I'd never had that... feeling of security. Kids are vulnerable, Katsuki. Kids also have narrow-minded views. I don't know exactly how you thought of me. I-"

"I thought you were insulting me." Katsuki interrupted quietly. Kitomi quieted, now fully concentrating on his words. He continued, eyes flicking on and off hers, as if gauging how peeved she was at his interruption.

"You... You could do so many things better than I could- No, shut up- I know. I might've been a bit socially dumb- or more like, ignorant, but I'm not called a genius for no reason. Ever since the beginning of my memories, you were better. It's not about whatever fake losses you made to make yourself look closer to average."

Kitomi's eyes slid away, a little sheepishly. It wasn't that she was trying to 'fake lose' more than she was trying to not get more attention than she already did. Wasn't it embarrassing to relish in an infant's achievement as someone who was very much not one?

"When I say 'better', I mean better than everyone at their best. You weren't at your best and was better. I... had never felt like any of my victories were fully deserved." He said, voice taut and rigid. "And that day, when you said that you..."

There was a long stretch of silence, and for a moment, Katsuki looked like he was prepared to drop it and walk away from this obviously difficult conversation. It seemed pretty unplanned and last minute. The information was skewered and neither of them really had a clue what the point of this was.

At this point, Kitomi didn't even feel like the one on the spot. Instead, she was more conscious of how wary he seemed to be.

Perhaps, Kitomi realised, this wasn't even about her. It was about him, and not in the 'superiority' sense.

"I felt insulted." Katsuki said curtly. "I felt... I felt... angry. Well, there's always anger. It's more like what type of anger, for me. It was-" He made an irritated clicking sound at the back of his throat. "I was... hurt. I think. Because you know, I- you were sort of like my in real life All Might."

"Excuse me?" Kitomi can't filter out her disbelief. She also didn't know what to feel, being compared to an extremely muscular and enthusiastic... American?... man. More so, it was disbelieving how she, as a mere child, would be put anywhere near the same level as All Might. "Look, Katsuki, I get kid brains are weird, but I was not all that great."

"Yeah- nah."

"Huh-"

"Back when we were kids, I didn't know about this stupid shit. Not about ranks, not about power scaling, not about any logistics. It was just 'best' or not, 'cool' or not, alright?" He hissed. "Just let me 'express' my fucking 'feelings'."

Right. This was about Katsuki.

This... was a confession.

"-You were powerful, right? Not just in the 'strength' sense. You looked and acted cool- You just were cool. Because you had something that others didn't, no matter how much you hid it-"

Of course she did. Because she wasn't a 'kid' then.

"-And it's just- Adoration, I think?! Like, like, fucking- I don't know. I had this mixture of adoration and- want to be your friend because of-" Katsuki waved in her vague direction. "Like, you were cool enough that I could ignore how you- lowered yourself to act all motherly and gross around Deku. Your brother. And that was what pissed me off in the end. That- That was what made everything slowly build up. It was irritating? I didn't get it. Because D- your brother could handle himself. And he wasn't all that great, so I didn't see any reason why-"

Any reason why she would even pay attention to him, let alone obsess over him... right?

Katsuki made a loud 'tsk' noise. "I mean- Oh fucking god, this is harder than I expected. Fuck this. Fuck that batshit crazy man."

"Neither of us are the talking type, are we?" Kitomi offered a flat smile, ignoring the comment of 'batshit crazy man'. It was probably Masaru... maybe...

She didn't know what she thought about this development; it seemed random. She honestly should be more indignant that he was doing this now of all times, but... Kitomi was pretty drained of anger.

Any sort of good improvement she would encourage, if only for the benefit of her own well-being. As always, the world wouldn't wait for her to patch herself up. If she lashed out because of what happened, it'd only do her more harm.

One would think that a cornered and defeated person would act with bitterness, but... she'd been numb her whole life (and it hadn't even been a long one). Bitterness was a useless concept to her, more isolating than the grey-tinged rationality that she tried to coat over the world's insanity.

"Either way, I could sort of guess where you're coming from." Kitomi tried to keep a blank face, but Katsuki's flat stare told her her efforts probably weren't good enough. "My decisions and priorities in childhood were obviously... not benefitting anyone but myself."

"If you really care about me, then-"

"That's... not what I was talking about." Katsuki snapped. "I just- I'm not really trying to enforce anything on you... that much..."

She huffed a dark laugh. "You kinda are? The way that I put Izuku over everyone else. Over you. Over myself. And even over Izuku's will. Who did it benefit? What was that good for? Nothing but my sick, twisted mind."

"Don't make me fucking argue with you about this." He growled before the anger dissipated as quickly as it forefronted. "And I said I wasn't talking about that. I mean, I wasn't asking you to be amazing or better than you already were."

"That's contradictory." She raised a brow, half-frowning, half-judging.

"What I mean is, I didn't... like, I just didn't want you to half-ass everything. I thought it was because of your brother that you were. But obviously... now I know it wasn't."

At her expression, he hurriedly continued.

"Like, I wasn't thinking 'you should be better', I was thinking 'you can be better' and 'why aren't you then?' I thought by acting so... sloppily all the time, you were trying to, I don't know, put me down or something. Show that you, without trying your best, was still better than me. Or that you'd rather lose than try your best and fight me... I-"

Katsuki paused. 

"I'm going to so fucking regret this talk." He said blankly. Then he scrubbed at his head again, "Fuck, this is taking too long. So basically, about six years ago- it's different now. Maybe. I just got confused because you said everything about you not wanting to do anything-"

"No, wait. First, I'm going to have to correct that." Kitomi narrowed her eyes. "I wasn't- I was taking things seriously-"

"Take me seriously-"

"I- uh-mn." Her tongue felt like lead and she had to physically shake away the sensation. "Well, I wasn't trying hard to become anything. I thought I was behind. I thought I wasn't going to survive. I wasn't doing anything to be competitive. I was doing all that I was doing because I thought it was what was required to live. I had never considered how-"

Realisation had dawned on his face. "Mother-fucking misunderstandings. Let me get this straight- you had some warped perception of strength and basically scared yourself into becoming the way you are."

"...Crudely outlined, but not incorrect."

"I thought... you were-" He shook his head. "No, I'm not gonna repeat that; it just sounds fucking dumb now."

"Hah, along the lines of... 'if you're this close, why didn't you just go further?', right?"

"Yeah... I mean, I'm still pissed at eight year old you, but... for a different reason now." Katsuki was frowning. "I don't even know. I was just betrayed that you, who was so good at everything, wouldn't do anything because you saw it as above yourself."

"You called me a coward for running." Her voice was thick. Not a third time, or she'll punch herself.

"I was trying to provoke you." He admitted. "We were kids. We're still kids, but. I didn't even mean half the shit I said. Well, I kinda did but... I mean, I still think that, in a different way though. You were a coward, Kitomi. You saw the world, and you ran from it."

"You think you knew me?" She scoffed harshly. He was absolutely right. 

"I can try." Katsuki replied bitterly. "I'll just wait. I'll wait and see whether or not you'll be a coward this time too."

And Kitomi couldn't even reply to that. The temptation was there. If it weren't for logistics... Run from UA. Run from home. Run from Boku no Hero Academia all together. Hiding, isolating, running and running and running-

"Why did you fight... in the end?"

"...I have no clue. I actually haven't thought about that." Kitomi's wandering eyes met his again, and it held. A smile twisted onto her face. "Maybe it was you, Katsuki. ...In my small world, how do you think your loud words and your loud presence would affect me? Even if I tried hiding, tried running- words, you know, they can stay with someone far longer than anything else could."

"So long as you aren't half-assing anymore, I don't care if you have a good motivation or not. I'll yell at you more if that's what gets you going." Katsuki rolled his eyes irritably. "Urgh, explaining like this is so fucking annoying."

"No need anymore. So long as you're willing, it's a bigger step than I ever could've imagined." Kitomi thudded her head back onto the wall behind her. Life, why?

"...Can we start again?"

And it's unexpected.

That Katsuki, out of the three of them. The most hostile one. The one who, arguably, was the cause of all their messes. The one who was seemingly the 'hardest to help'. 

That Katsuki was the first one to say something like that.

If she hadn't been utterly drained of all her emotions, perhaps she would've felt more viscerally angry. 

She looked up and didn't know how to feel. That feeling of displacement and confusion and the world-not-aligning was so familiar by now, she really should give that emotion a name. 

Kitomi held his gaze, saw seething pride and conflict and discomfort, saw sincerity, saw apology, buried deep within- but it was unspoken and not the one she wanted, so- 

"No."

His entire body flinched and his fists tightened. Kitomi held the pause for a long time, only to observe the way he'd react. This Katsuki was unpredicted after all. He wasn't like from canon, but also not like anything she'd tried to manipulate him into being like. She should've known not to be so pretentious as to think she could mould the human unpredictability to her liking. 

She was a cause to this mess after all.

He looked properly disheartened, but not really angry. If anything, he looked most ashamed. The edges of his eyes were creased and his eyes flickered away from hers. "Nah, I get it. I should've ex-"

"Not yet, at least." Kitomi continued over him. "Izuku and I fought. You and I fought. You and Izuku have been fighting for... a long time. Have you gotten your questions answered?"

"...I'm always confused when it comes to you."

"Well, what a coincidence." She returned dryly. "Me too. I'm confused right now. I'm still angry at you. Whatever you've done to me alone, which isn't very much, I can forgive rather easily."

"So it's De-" Katsuki cut himself off. "I'm not surprised."

"Until you properly, sincerely, find it within yourself to apologise for whatever you've done to Izuku, I cannot forgive you. I cannot overlook this. I don't want to sound patronising or-... but I can't- I can't just side with you if there are 'sides'."

"...I get that." He scuffed the toe of his shoes against the ground. "I guess I woulda been pissed if you cut him off so quickly too to- accept what I said."

The silence stretched. 

Then Katsuki spoke again. "For what it's worth, I am though." 

She waited, tugged absently at the blindfold around her neck. He continued.

"...Sorry, I mean. Frankly, for only some things I did to him. I didn't even know that some stuff I did were... worse-" He said haltingly, "-When you're on the other side of it. But within everything, I think I am... a little bit 'sorry'."

"I'm..." Surprised. Pleasantly? Though it was only decency.

"I didn't mean to tell you that part, but I've told you shit that I didn't mean to, like, five times already, so who cares, but... it's actually harder than you'd think to say these corny ass things, so I'll dig you a shallow fucking grave if you talk about this shit to others-"

"Yeah, I... acknowledge it." She cut over flatly, ignoring how the sentimentality was ruined by one hearty death threat. "Good on you, I think, for going in the right direction." Better than anything she could say for herself. "I'm not going to say you're there yet, but you'll get there eventually." 

"You think?"

"Mm. At least... at least you're trying. That's the hardest part of it."

"You think of us so close that I'd trust your words?" He echoed her words, smirk in his voice.

"I have no witty reply to that, Katsuki. After all, it is as simple as 'I wouldn't lie to you' and 'you would know if I did', right?"

"Well, I guess so."

"You should probably go now. It's nearly your bedtime, Katsuki-chan."

"Shut the fuck up."

"Not on your life."

"You're still so fucking annoying. Well whatever. I'll go then." He tilted his head up and she inclined her head before he turned around. 

"Katsuki," She started abruptly. "...Did you feel... Don't you feel ashamed? Coming to me?"

His shoulders hunched. "It feels pretty fucking shitty. It's not meant to be us talking right now."

But people change, and in ways that Kitomi could only look to appreciate rather than feel indignant at. So appreciate, she did, if only to make it seem like there were more positives in her life.

"It might not mean much, but I'm proud." She added distantly. "I'm proud of you."

He stopped, but was still facing away. "For what?" 

"For not tearing off your bandages." Kitomi deadpanned. "Like a bloody idiot. I'm not going to apologise for that, by the way."

His hand rubbed on the adhesive pad. "I don't think I want you to."

"Leave Recovery Girl's work alone." She warned as he absently started picking on the edge of it. "While it might make it take longer to heal, it heals better. Properly."

She could only hope the same for herself and Izuku, physical or otherwise.

"...Leave the metaphors for class; Present Mic will drink it up." Katsuki scoffed and looked back at her with an unreadable look on his face. "Well, thanks for whatever, I guess."

"My. You're here early, Mitsumeru." Aizawa droned. Neither of them acknowledge the swapped out surname. ...Or how he was on the floor, half-asleep.

"If I must admit, Sensei, I'm surprised that you're in class before school starts." 

"Let's say I'd be quite disappointed if you didn't arrive early for the feedback you missed yesterday." Aizawa slowly rose from his sleeping bag. "And personally disgruntled for the hours sacrificed, though Nemuri would bitch about how I'm still grumpy no matter how much sleep I get."

Kitomi didn't bother with a reply and instead tilted her head to the side in wait. 

"That." A finger jutted into her face. "Off."

Her eyelid twitched, but she begrudgingly tugged down her blindfold, letting it pool around her neck. It wasn't like she wore it around the clock, but she wore it enough that it was difficult to adjust to the brightness and... saturation of clear, vivid vision in broad daylight.

"Good. If I have to tell you again, there'll be extra homework and laps around the school involved." He grunted before snorting at her lack of reaction. "Alright. Since we have a good half of the hour, I'll just talk you through it. I'm sure you already know your mistakes?"

"Yeah. Textbook ones at least." Kitomi replied evenly.

"No one in the class is at the level to be thoroughly critiqued. In your circumstance, what you did well, combat-wise, was seamless, and what you did badly... was just plain obvious."

"I don't think my decision would've changed..."

"But now?"

"Now..." She worried her lower lip. "It'd be a rock or a hard place; whatever I did would've been equally bad in my eyes. In the professional field, however, I'd know how to act."

He made a grunt in reply. "But would you act how you 'know' you're meant to?"

"...Well, that's why I have a few more years of practice, right?"

Aizawa chuckled. "So what changed?"

"Huh?"

"Why did you continue with that activity? Was it 'spite' again? In the end."

"Ah, I..." Kitomi frowned in thought. This was probably the same reason why Katsuki approached her. She said it was because of him to his face, but after thinking about it...

"I'm not too sure, honestly. It might've been- I just felt tired. Sometimes what I think and do works, but sometimes it really doesn't. It's come to a point where I don't know whether or not my efforts to 'change' are good or bad- for better or for worse."

"What were you doing to 'change', if you call it that? And why?"

"I... don't know." She glanced away. "The change would mainly be that I... went against logical judgement and pushed myself to win, I think. It's not something I'd usually do. I mean, so far, all I've done is dedicate myself to the necessary- under the name of a goal or loose reasoning. I didn't care about winning. I still don't, I think. I was just upset and frustrated, impatient really, because in that moment I just wanted... to have something for myself. Fight because I wanted to. Do something irrational and reckless and beyond belief. I didn't get up with anyone in mind. I didn't do it for anyone. Not for making sure Izuku doesn't worry, not for appeasing Katsuki, not for good marks..."

"But no particular reasoning." Aizawa suggested.

"Yeah." She confirmed in a dejected tone. 

"That's fine." He shrugged, cracking open a yogurt pouch, summoned from nowhere.

"Huh?"

"That's fine, I said. Don't make me repeat myself." Then he slurped it all in one go. "It's great that you're finally thinking of doing something independently. It's like I'm witnessing a fawn starting to walk on its own."

What. "But..."

"But?"

"...Nothing actually." She sounded a little cowed. That was a first. (With someone apart from Izuku.)

"But it's hard to improve when you can't say it's for other people or something else, right?" Aizawa raised his brows. "Yeah. It feels really weird and you're now feeling lost- I get it. Suck it up."

Incredulous laughter burst out of her throat, but it was genuine. "Thanks, Sensei." Then the word 'Sensei' stuck out to her because- "But isn't that what you're here for?"

"Exactly. Woe is me." He replied dryly. "When we talked, I mentioned three things, right?"

"Three." She repeated a little confusedly. "If it's three, then it'd be... 'guts', 'a reason to become a Hero', and... the 'obvious' thing I was lacking."

"Bingo." Aizawa smirked. "Three things, one of which I mentioned in our last talk, one which every person goes through, and one which you can change; the one thing I refused to tell you about before. Though they all blur into each other, so a defined list is only for simplicity's sake."

"I thought..." Kitomi hesitated. "You said I had to figure out 'why' before you'd tell me-"

"You did tell me 'why'." He deadpanned. "A confident 'I don't know'."

"...Seriously?" She wouldn't really call it a 'confident' statement, but... it was definitely a clearer 'I don't know' in comparison.

"Yeah." Aizawa raised a finger. "First would be guts, or you could say 'self-respect' or 'ambition'. The 'guts' to take what you deserve. I'm sure you and your weird genes gave you a near-suicidal recklessness with charging into battles without nervousness, so that's not what we're talking about. What I'm gonna explain links directly to the third thing."

"What about the second?"

"Well, you already figured it out before, didn't you?"

"Why I want to become a Hero or to become stronger..." Kitomi echoed. "The answer is... 'I don't know'?"

"Exactly. It's fine if you don't know your dream, or 'reason'." Aizawa explained. "So long as you're considering it, or even thinking that, it's good enough. Many people don't know these kinds of things anyway."

"I... see. Then what was the third?"

"It's the most obvious, dumbest thing ever-" He smiled sardonically. "You're-"

"Your hair's dyed, innit?"

Kitomi blinked in surprise. "Yes, it is. Are my roots showing?"

"No, let's just call it an..." They chuckled in an overly 'cool' manner. "Inventor's intuition..."

"Souken!" The teacher hollered over the sounds of drilling and... explosions? "Get back to work before Hatsume explodes something else!"

"Nawww," The bright pink-haired boy cooed, somehow managing to still project his voice over the... concerning amount of loud noises. "But Maiji-sensei is meant to do that."

"She's your responsibility now! Not a week in and I'm prepared to throttle that crazy girl!"

"Aw, thanks Sensei!" A cheerful voice piped up.

"Was not a compliment-NO-HATSUMEWAITDON'TTOUCHTHAT-"

Kitomi shielded her eyes against the following explosion. As she waved away the dust, she eyeballed the pink-head still standing in the same pose as before, leaning against the doorframe, appearing completely unfazed. Must be routine for them.

"So, what business does Miss Gloomy have?" Souken asked.

'Gloomy'... Kitomi mused. So he must've been one of the people who designed her costume. "I'm looking for an adjustment in my costume..."

"Oh," His expression turned downcast. "So you wish to embark on the path of darkness and misery?"

"No." She replied. "I wanted to change the heels because I can't walk in them."

"Hmm?" He glanced at her feet then back at her face. "But they look cool!" He whined.

"It won't look cool if I fall on my face." Kitomi countered.

"True." He scratched his head. "Well, I've got a backup of all the costumes I made here, so just come in for a sec..."

Then another explosion sounded and a piece of shrapnel shot towards him. A bunch of voices immediately called out- "Duck, Senpai!" And instead of landing on the back of his skull, it flew over his head and hurtled towards her. Kitomi activated her Quirk and made it swerve on its path, colliding into the wall behind her. 

"...No thanks." She replied belatedly. It was a warzone here. "It seems unsafe."

"Eh, it's finee," He tugged lightly on her blazer sleeve and she obliged reluctantly. "The kids here are pretty sharp anyway, so it's not like I won't get a warning."

"Are you... not a 1-H student?" She asked carefully.

"Mm, nup! I'm a third year here. The Support department generally mingles between year levels because creativity isn't limited by age or experience!"

"You're also in charge of babysitting Hatsume." The teacher deadpanned. 

"And that." Souken chuckled. "Well, what would you like instead then?"

Even behind her blindfold, Souken could see the glint in her eyes. "Well, I'm not just after a shoe redesigning... May I request for the craziest and most ambitious student here?"

"I got permission from Nedzu."

"This is insane." Her face was completely blank.

You know what was insane? UA's limitless budget. The school literally spawned robots yearly to let a bunch of teens destroy them. Providing a large arena with about fifty of those and a few dozen civilian bots wasn't that big of a deal.

"Not really. Think about it. The classes are pretty small and there's a maximum of 120 Hero class students in total." Shouta yawned. "What did you expect me to do after telling you your one major flaw? Go all out."

"But-" This kid...

"Why do you think I'm the one supervising you?" He waved his hand dismissively. "There's no way you could hurt me, Quirk or otherwise, because I can erase yours on the off chance you'll lose control. You're more at a risk of hurting yourself, so I have to follow you around if you wander too far... Troublesome."

"Um-"

"Jesus fucking Christ, child. Set yourself loose." Shouta begrudgingly made The Eye Contact. "I promise you'll be fine with me and my Quirk here."

"...Thanks," Urgh, these children only continued to give Shouta migraines. For an emotionally constipated kid, she really could pull off that sappiness even with a completely blank tone and completely blank expression. "Sensei."

And from then, Shouta simply marvelled. He was similar to Kitomi in her indecision and apathy. He never had some big goal to becoming a Hero, and most people he knew also didn't. Her ongoing brooding over it was even preferable to those starry-eyed idiots who became Heroes because of mere propaganda- the false promises of money, fame, popularity...

Shouta hated crushing dreams, shallow or not, but it was his job as a teacher to eliminate those who would only suffer along the way.

But although he never had a definite motive, he did enjoy watching people thrive. Just like a main character in some TV series, or even the plant that you've been waiting to sprout, Shouta liked it. Who wouldn't?

Though slow to warm up to it, Kitomi was truly some kind of a genius. The way she wielded a mere 'push and pull' Quirk made it seem akin to telekinesis. She explained the mechanics behind it, the names she'd slapped on different 'modes'. It seemed so unnecessarily complicated, reminding Shouta of Midoriya's analysis and his unbelievable skill to pull out theories and potential behind even the simplest of motions.

Yet despite that, it was fluid. The way she moved herself midair, or sent two bots colliding- She switched between different usages as easily as breathing.

It seemed like his promise had indeed set some monster loose.

Her movements were far more extreme than her 'experimenting' in the entrance exam. And by the end of the hour, an entire segment of the arena was basically cleared, the bots all ripped into chunks like paper confetti and anything short of a building was crushed. If it was All Might supervising her, he would probably be worried about how the civilian bots were also strewn across the floor in broken pieces, metal limbs detached and bent out of recognition. 

Shouta could only be grimly satisfied. But not even grim as he saw the wide, exhilarated smile stretching across her face. It was far from composed and muted like what he'd seen before. She was winded, but her eyes were alight.

A smug smirk rose on his face. "I told you so."

"Do I get to do this again?" And at this kid's excitement, Shouta couldn't say 'no'.

Shouta stared at his student, a little creeped out at the level of attentiveness. He suspected that it wasn't her eyes itself that creeped people out; it was what was within them. That dissecting, critical, judgemental stare, unwavering and unflinching. He'd seen it in Midoriya too, that assessing edge within his round eyes, subtler with his softer appearance, but no less intense than Mitsumeru.

It held until it didn't, and even for her teacher, that stare hardly budged. Yet for all she was too observant, she couldn't even see this flaw that was literally right in front of her.

"It's the most obvious, dumbest thing ever: you're repressing your Quirk."