Chapter Text
"Let us go! Let us go! Ya're violatin' our civilian rights!" Becca screamed and kicked.
"Just following orders." Mary Ann said stiffly.
"Do a couple of dangerous rogues such ourselves even 'ave civilian rights?" Abner drawled dumbly.
"Shut up! The charges 'gainst us 'ave not been proven!" Becca insisted adamantly.
"What "charges"? King Julien just wishes to speak with you?" a confused Mary Ann replied while carrying the couple under her arms as she walked up the baobab tree leading to the king's private quarters.
"They don't know yet." Becca whispered to her husband before glowering at the fossa.
"Mary Ann, 'ave ya no dignity!" Becca scolded her. "Ya'ra a damn fossa! A lemur-eater! How can ya be so subservient ta an oppressive lemur tyrant and still look at yourself in the mirror!"
"Okay, first off. I don't see why me swearing off lemurs would be a bad thing to you." Mary Anne retorted pointedly. "And second, King Julien has been nothing but fair to me, fairer than I probably deserved after the things I've pulled. So excuse me for feeling a sense of loyalty to our king, unlike some people."
"She talkin' 'bout us?" Abner asked his wife, who fumed.
"He's got her brainwashed too!" Becca lamented, while the fossa rolled her eyes and kicked open the door to Julien's plane, throwing the two lemurs in.
Before either could get up, she closed the door and guarded it.
As the couple picked themselves up, they saw Maurice standing there and the throne next to him rotated and they were met with King Julien himself.
"Ah! Adler! Bella!" he smiled. "It is so good that you two could drop in."
He snickered. "Get it? "Drop in"? Cuz Mary Ann dropped you here like a pair of expired mangos? I made a funny!"
Maurice cleared his throat, urging his king to get back to business instead of cracking lame jokes.
"Ya can't keep us here against our will, ya oppressive monster!" Becca yelled and shook her fist, earning an eye roll from Maurice.
"Yeah! We're leavin' this instant!" Abner added and they turned their backs on the king, only to halt immediately as they found Mary Ann still blocking their exit, her arms folded and wearing sunglasses.
"Don't make me get rough with you." She grunted in warning, much to the couple's terror.
"Nice hat, dude." Julien told Abner. "A little too much with the feathers, but still pretty dope."
"Oh…thanks." Abner smiled only to be smacked on the head by Becca.
"Whatever torture ya subject us to, we won't sing!" Becca yelled. "Long live LALA!"
"Look, I know this seems bad but it's not what ya think it is." A sheepish Maurice tried to mitigate the situation. "King Julien? You have something important to tell 'em, right?"
"Yes, yes. I certainly have." Julien hopped off his throne and pressed his hands together.
"Now listen. I know we haven't been on the best of terms for the last few years…"
"That's an understatement." Becca scoffed.
"..and I would have talked things out with you a lot sooner but, y'know…" Julien shrugged casually "…my kingly attention had to be devoted to more important matters, like all the real enemies and whackos that tried to kill me and/or take over my kingdom, like Koto or my uncle or even the Bonehead-Fossa. Not to mention all the dance parties that I called for and simply had to attend."
"King Julien, please try to sound a bit less…condescending." Maurice whispered into his ear.
"Okay, fine…" Julien rolled his eyes before offering the couple a sincere smile. "Look, I am thinking there has been a big misunderstanding. And I'm afraid I was the cause of it. My bad."
"Ya can say that again." Becca narrowed her eyes. "Ya 'ave the entire kingdom fooled that yur a great guy, even one fossa!" she pointed over her shoulder at Mary Ann. "But we know better!"
"Yeah, we're too dang smart ta be brainwashed by propaganda, empty promises and nonstop dance parties." Abner added, crossing his arms.
"Ah, but I'm afraid you are misunderstanding about the misunderstanding," Julien explained. "By which I mean it is you who is misunderstanding, meaning you are dead wrong but I don't hold that against you."
"Condescending." Maurice cleared his throat. "Don'tbethat."
"Okay, okay, the point I'm trying to get across is that I'm a great guy and a noble king, not some self-serving tyrant." Julien elaborated, earning unconvinced glared in the process.
"And if my kingly word isn't good enough for you, how about you hear it from the mouth of LALA's founder himself?"
With that, Julien walked over towards a changing curtain, where he took off his crown and grabbed a banana, much to his disgust. Both for taking off his fabulous crown and for touching the demon fruit.
"Our founder!" Becca was outraged and had to be held back by Abner. "Our founder is pushin' up daisies, because of ya, ya cold-hearted killer! Murderer!"
"Oi." Maurice facepalmed before Julien came back out.
"Hey, guys! What's cracking!" he said, with his weird accent being only slightly subdued, which in Julien's mind passed off as "disguising his voice".
Abner and Becca's eyes widened in utter disbelief.
"Banana Guy Mike?!" Becca yelped, thinking she had seen a ghost. "It is you?! But how? Why?! How?!"
"We thought ya was a goner!" Abner blurted.
"How have these two not drowned in their own drool yet?" Mary Ann muttered to herself.
"Simple! I've never died in the first place." "Mike" chuckled.
"But…no…we saw yur lifeless body!" Becca replied, tears forming in her eyes.
"Oh, no. That was just King Julien's very convincing body double dummy." "Mike" gestured at the crudely made, pineapple-headed dummy Maurice placed in front of them.
Abner and Becca dropped their jaws.
"That…that looks jus' like his decayin' corpse!" Abner realized, sporting googly eyes. "Ah'd know it anywhere! The sight of it still haunts my nightmares."
"But, Banana Guy Mike?" Becca blurted. "If ya've been alive all this time, why didn't ya contact us! We've been strugglin' ta accomplish anythin' without our glorious and strategically-minded leader!"
Mary Ann groaned. "King Julien? Can I break my promise just this once and eat these two? They were clearly not meant for this world?"
"No, Mary Ann." "Mike" barked at her. "I am wishing to end their delusions."
"Why did ya jus' call Banana Guy Mike "King Julien"?" Becca sent the fossa a baffled glare.
"Mike" rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I'll gladly show ya, my loyal followers."
He waltzed back toward the curtain and came back with his crown and minus the filthy banana.
"King Julien?" Abner asked. "Where did Banana Guy Mike go?"
"What 'ave ya done with 'im, ya fiend!" Becca held up her fists. "Yur not takin' 'im away from us a second time, ya unscrupulous tyrant!"
Maurice facepalmed again. "Cuz King Julien IS Banana Guy Mike, ya fools!" even he was getting aggravated by their stupidity.
Becca snorted. "Yeah right! And I'm his mommy, Princess Julienne, ol'chap. Oh, why am I talking with all these revolting, unwashed commoners? I want my mangos."
"And ah'm Sage Moondancer." Abner laughed and flexed his scrawny arms. "Oh, look at my big muscles and…and…all thu hippie junk."
Julien's face fell and he whispered to his advisor. "Mo-Mo? I'm not sure how to break through their stupidity? It's thicker than the biggest, thickest baobab tree on Madagascar."
Maurice pondered and whispered something into his ear.
Julien straightened himself and cleared his throat. "I'm telling you the truth. Just watch."
He pulled his crown behind his back and pulled out the banana.
"Mike? How did ya get here so fast!" Becca asked.
Julien swapped the banana for the crown.
"King Julien? What did ya do ta Mike!" Abner pointed at him.
He swapped it again.
"Mike! Please, let's blow this stand!" Becca implored him.
He swapped it again.
"King Julien?!" the two blurted.
Now he sported both.
"Banana Guy Julien!" Becca smiled and grabbed his arm. "Come on, there's no time ta…wait? What did ah say?"
Slowly but surely, a look of realization washed over her features and she let go, stepping back in a daze and Abner helped her not fall over.
"I think they're getting it…" Maurice said with a look of relief.
"King Julien? Ya…ya…ya're Banana Guy Mike?!" Abner asked in wide-eyed shock while his wife was left speechless.
"Yes, finally! You are getting it!" the king replied, frustration still lingering in his tone. "Look, I know this is confusing, but I can totally explain it. See, when I first became king, I tried to get a better perspective on what it's like being a sad nobody commoner, so I disguised myself as "Banana Guy Mike"! A fool-proof secret identity, cuz everyone knows I hate bananas."
He emphasized that by tossing the dreaded fruit through the window before they heard an "Ow!" from Willie.
"…and as "Mike", I first learned how delicate my peoples were and how many problems they had to face on a daily basis. Problems that I, being the pampered and wet-behind-the-ears newbie king I was back then, was ignoring. For which I want to apologize immensely."
"Unfortunately, he got carried away with the role and it slipped his mind that he WAS King Julien, so he started his own rebelion." Maurice added flatly. Yeah, it still sounded beyond stupid no matter how you phrased it.
"That is not true, Mo-Mo." Julien insisted peevishly. "I'm just a very dedicated thespian who gets sucked into his roles. So I was a drama kid in Lemur School, sue me!"
"Wait…so all this time, our hero, our idol, our inspiration, our very reason for goin' on has jus' been… King Julien's disguise?!" Becca rambled, trying to process this earth-shattering revelation.
"And all dem generous things ya did ta the kingdom and all those times ya fought fer it and put yur life on the line…those were fer real, and not a very elaborate and convoluted long game plot ta brainwash dem good folk into thinkin' you was a benevolent king?"
"All this time…ya were jus' a flawed but still well-meanin' ruler who grew and matured over time?" Becca squinted, trying to make sense of this.
"Yes, ya summed it up nicely there." Maurice grew a small smile. "Except for the whole "government conspiracy thing", that's jus' stupid."
He leaned closer and whispered. "But don't feel too bad, guys. Your misgivings are nothing compared to Clover's? She might be my friend but that woman is one raving paranoiac, and that's putting it mildly."
Abner and Becca exchanged blank looks before looking back at the king and his advisor.
The king laughed and threw his arms over their shoulders, pulling them into a tight hug.
"But no hard feelings, guys. I don't blame ya for being duped by my mad acting skills. And I'm all too willing to forgive you for your numerous attempted regicides cuz you are still my peeps!"
Their whole life? Their dreams and ambitions? They've just been a big, fat lie rooted in their misinterpretation of King Julien's character! But before they could have an existential crisis like Karl in the last story, King Julien dropped a bomb.
He let go and motioned for Mary Ann to step back as he left his plane. "But we'll celebrate our newfound friendship later cuz we have a gladiator match to attend and watch Mr. Alex pummel poor little Thraxy-Waxy into a bloody pulp!"
"I'm so glad we could end this feud." Maurice smiled and shook their hands before clicking his tongue and shooting them two finger guns. "See ya at the gladiator match!"
Mary Ann shot them an annoyed look. "I still think we should have just put them out of their misery." she muttered and ran after Julien and Maurice.
"Oh, one more thing!" Maurice suddenly rushed back to them and looked at Becca hopefully.
"Would you care to take up the position of royal secretary? I'm looking to make the king's entourage more inclusive?" He whispered to her.
"Eh…sure…why not?" Becca said with a vacant look and Maurice smiled before waving as he ran off to catch up with his king.
Now alone, Abner and Becca's pupils shrank and they were petrified with horror as the gravity of their recent action dawned on them.
"ABNER!" Becca shook him hysterically. "We were wrong 'bout King Julien and we jus' assisted the evil fossa king into resurrecting a giant, psychotic wildebeest that will murder our king and Mr. Alex!"
"Well…shoot." Abner drawled. "That's pretty dang bad?"
...
The animals had gathered in the same arena where Clover had famously defeated Wigman Wildebeest. Unsurprisingly, Madagascar's biggest celebrity being challenged to a fight drew in quite a crowd, quite the continuity palooza.
Some renovations had been made to the place, including the addition of stone safety railings for the spectators and four balconies below it for the VIP spectators. And the bleachers on the left side of the arena had been modified to be able to support larger animals, mainly at the request of the Crocodile Ambassador and his subjects, who all lamented about the uncomfortable and tiny seats they had to endure during previous death matches.
Speaking of which, the fez-wearing Nile crocodile himself was fiddling nervously on the bleachers, while his advisor tried to calm him down.
"Oh…I don't know?" he said foppishly. "These death matches are always so dreadfully violent. Seeing people get bruised makes me faint?"
Just thinking about it made the crocodile leader feel light-headed and his advisor gently patted his hand.
"Take it easy, sir. No need to panic." He said in a placating tone.
"This is gonna be so dope, guys! I can't wait to see that Thrax get beat into the dirt by my best bud!" the two heard Marty talking loudly as he seated himself next to the crocodile advisor, while wearing a huge foam finger, which was shaped like a paw and spelled "Alex".
Yes, apparently everything washed up in the Cove of Wonders.
"I'm just saying, I've seen at least ten major health code violations in this arena." Melman said nervously as he placed a pillow down and sat on it, next to his zebra friend. Of course, they were joined by…
"AHHHH! The monster's back! Protect me!" the Crocodile Ambassador screamed and cowered behind his likewise terrified advisor as Gloria sat next to Melman.
The hippo rolled her eyes. "Scaly crybabies…" she grumbled.
"Hey, Gloria?" Melman asked. "Is it just me, or is that a 20-foot scorpion sitting next to us?"
Gloria glanced to her left and was met with Fred.
"Hello, my name's Fred." The super-sized arachnid gave a friendly wave with his giant pincher.
"Oh, Barty? I don't know why we had to come all this way just to spectate this ghastly blood sport?" Princess Julienne lamented in her usual haughty and posh demeanor as she and her husband seated themselves on one of the balconies.
"Why, dear, didn't you hear?" Barty chuckled. "Our son's new bodyguard is going to brutally maul a fossa to death in the arena."
"Oh? That sounds like a romp." Julienne smiled with delight and pulled out her opera glasses.
"Ow…my achin' head…" Ted drawled, still dizzy and with his head bandaged up, while sitting on the opposite side of the arena.
"Oh, Ted. Are you feeling alright?" a concerned Dorothy was comforting him. "How did this happen?"
"The idiot probably slipped on a banana peel." Hector grumbled and sat down next to her.
"Oh, that happens to me all the time." Patrick Star's fursona…I mean, King Joey, who was sitting next to Ted, laughed stupidly. "Those yellow buggers are hard to spot!"
"Hector, you came?" Dorothy was genuinely surprised.
"Course I did. I wouldn't miss a fossa's demise for the world." Hector retorted curtly.
"Egad…I can't believe you talked me into coming." A peeved Mason crossed his arms, with him and Phill sitting just below the former four. Phill did some hand gestures but Mason ignored him.
"And to think that Karl and I could be matching wits at three-dimensional chess right now?" Mason lamented. But Karl was still busy examining the drone footage.
"Honey, are you sure you're okay with this?" Horst asked his wife as they sat down next to the chimps.
"Oh, yes." Mary Ann assured him. "I just wish it was Bone-Fossa doing the fighting."
As if on cue, Bone-Fossa arrived on one of the balconies, accompanied by a dozen fossa guards with wooden spears, and took his seat.
He and Mary Ann locked eyes, bared their teeth and growled at each other.
Uncle Julien and Zora arrived on the third balcony. But the former wasn't merely a spectator but also the announcer, since he was still the legal owner of this arena.
"Uhhh…it's been so long since I've witnessed a good and gory gladiator death match!" The old ringtail was pumped with excitement, feeling a sense of nostalgia, and held up his palm leaf-megaphone.
"I know, my little love ham." Zora agreed. "We mountain lemurs live for the glory of battle."
And finally, King Julien and Maurice arrived and seated themselves on the last balcony, right below the large animals, with the aye-aye holding a bag of popcorn for his king.
"Oh, Mo-Mo, I can't wait to be seeing Mr. Alex turn Thrax into mincemeat!"
"Your majesty, he's jus' supposed to beat 'im up." Maurice reminded him.
"I know, but a king can always hope that maybe, just maybe Mr. Alex's savage side might resurface at the right moment and he'll bite Thrax's head off."
"Huh, I wouldn't have pegged you as a fan of gladiator death matches?" A familiar female voice with a British accent said.
King Julien couldn't believe his kingly ears and spun around to see a familiar crowned lemur.
"Clover!" in a heartbeat, the overjoyed king glomped the female lemur, sobbing, and she hugged him back. "I've missed you so much! My kingly four-man band has felt so empty without you!"
"Um…King Julien?" Maurice said uncomfortably while Julien heard a purr and felt his neck being nuzzled.
"I knew you missed me, Juju-Bear." she said in her usual sultry tone and hugged him tighter.
"Crimson!?" Julien pushed her back and stepped behind Maurice.
"The one and only." Crimson smirked flirtatiously.
"What the hell, man…eh woman?" Julien whimpered. "Why do you have to be such a tease? Why do have to give me false hope by being Clover's twin sister!"
"Yeah, I bought it too for two seconds." Maurice muttered sadly and wiped a small tear.
"Oh, please." Crimson put her hand to her chest. "Don't act like I'm not the more alluring one?"
"What are ya doing here?" Maurice asked.
"Same thing as everyone else." The crowned lemur shrugged. "I came to see Thrax get mangled."
In a millisecond, she was all over Julien, walking her fingers along his chest, making Julien feel very uncomfortable, but also strangely turned on. Damn, why did the sexy vixens always have to be so clingy and psychotic?
"But more importantly, I've been wondering if you had any plans to finally settle down and find a queen, Shmuby-Bear?" Crimson cooed while playfully tapping Julien's nose and pressing her body very tightly against his.
"After all, the clock's ticking and you wouldn't want to end up old, fat, bitter and all alone." Crimson chuckled while lifting one leg up Julien's waist. "Like your uncle?"
"Hey! I heard that!" Uncle Julien shouted from his balcony. "And I have a mistress!"
He pointed at Zora, who just gave a friendly wave.
"That thing is a woman?" Crimson asked in surprise.
"Is this another plot to gain power?" Maurice asked suspiciously.
"Yes." Crimson replied candidly before making kissy noises at Julien. "But I'm also crazy for your delicious king. Meow."
Julien pulled himself free and chuckled nervously. "Crimson? I am very flattered by your incredibly aggressive advances but…eh…I'm already seeing someone? She's currently in…Canada?"
Crimson's expression made it clear she wasn't buying it but she just shrugged before jumping on the railings. "Oh, well? I'll get you eventually."
She gave him a wink before doing a jump-flip and joining her fellow sirens on the railings, where she started filing her nails. She was a rebel, so she obviously wasn't going to use regular seats.
"Bitter and old…I'll show her…" Uncle Julien grumbled before tapping his megaphone.
"Welcome, ladies and gentlefolk of Madagascar! Welcome back to Julien XII's latest Tournament of the Doomed! Today's gonna be a battle for the ages! Starring Madagascar's most celebrated hero!"
King Julien was munching on popcorn in excitement, while Bone-Fossa snapped his fingers and one of his subjects offered him a popcorn bag filled with dead baby birds to chow on.
"Give a big hand for… Alex the Lion!"
The gates opened and Alex stepped out, boasting with confidence while doing his trademark pose, accompanied by a big roar that echoed through the arena, eliciting choruses of applause.
"Go, Alex!" Marty whistled and lifted his foam finger. "You're my man!"
Uncle Julien chuckled condescendingly. "And…his soon-to-be-deceased opponent-"
He stopped as he was given a letter and read it.
"Oh, wait!" he announced. "I've just been informed that Thrax has caught the flu!"
Thrax appeared next to Bone-Fossa, and after the latter elbowed him, Thrax started faking a cough. One of the fossa strapped a leaf mask over his muzzle.
"Meaning Alex will be facing his last-minute replacement!"
"Say what now?" Alex and Julien both blurted and the former noticed something ramming the other gate while grunting viciously, akin to a fighting bull eager to be let out of his pen.
"Wait? This can't be right?" Uncle King Julien squinted and read the letter again. "His replacement will be…Vigman Wildebeest?"
The gate was busted open and Wigman jumped into the scene, stomping his foot and causing a huge crack where he stood while bellowing at the tops of his lungs, leaving the audience speechless.
Alex squeaked, Julien was agape, while Bone-Fossa rubbed his hands and tossed another baby bird into his mouth.
"Oh, ja! Vigman is back, baby! Und little lemur guy?" He pointed at the announcer.
"Zank you fur pronouncing mein name right. Unlike certain overgrown iguanas." Wigman growled while glaring at the Crocodile Ambassador specifically.
"Oh….why I…you're such a big meanie!" the Crocodile Ambassador shed tears before running away and flailing his tiny arms in a crying fit.
"What's going on here?" Marty wondered. "Who the blazes is the Schwarzenegger wildebeest?"
"Yeah, I thought he was worm food?" Crimson wondered while filing her nails.
"Maurice? Isn't he that swole cow-guy that fell to his doom?" Julien inquired from his advisor.
"Yes?" Maurice couldn't believe his own eyes. "He's dead? How can he be back!"
Wigman grunted threateningly at the terrified lion, grabbed a nearby rock and smashed it to bits against his head before laughing in exuberance.
"Nope. Not doing that!" Alex tried to flee but the gate behind him closed and he ran headfirst into it.
Dazed, he stumbled towards the center of the ring and came face to face with a grinning Wigman.
"Whoah!" he jumped and stepped back. They were the same height but one obviously had far more muscle mass.
"Um…hi?" Alex waved nervously. "You…you're a big dude? Aren't ya?"
"Danke schön." Wigman smirked and kissed his bulging biceps. "I vork out."
"Yeah, I'm sure you do." Alex grinned and pressed his paws, trying very hard not to wet himself. "Look, buddy? We're all civilized animals here? Can't we talk this out like gentlemen?"
Wigman pretended to ponder before shaking his head. "Nein. I kame to kill you, Herr Löwe!"
"Well…this just got a lot more interesting?" Uncle Julien rubbed his chin before shouting into his megaphone. "Already then! Let the fight to the death commence!"
Alex whimpered while Wigman braced himself while grunting and dusting the ground with his foot.
He chuckled evilly. "Some fights are chust fights. But killing a lion? Zat iss a great honor fur any vildebeest!"
Alex held his paws up. "Look, man! I swear I never touched a single wildebeest-"
A gong was heard and Wigman instantly charged at his opponent with a mighty bellow. Alex screamed and was headbutted in the gut, knocking the wind out of him and Wigman rammed him straight into the wall.
"Alex!" Marty cried as Wigman stepped back and let Alex plop to the ground, moaning in pain and leaving behind a crater in the wall.
Laughing, Wigman grabbed the lion by the tail and started swinging him around, before slamming him repeatedly against the ground or the walls, much to the audience's shock.
Alex received blow after blow to the face before falling over while Wigman raised his fist into the air, but nobody except for the fossa was cheering. Alex's friends watched in horror, with Marty accidentally dropping his foam finger
Groaning, Alex struggled to pick himself up, while Wigman gestured at himself.
"Come on, sissy kitty! Chust try to get ein in!"
"Come on, Alex! Ya can do it!" Marty shouted.
"Yes, just be a lion! Channel your inner lion!" Gloria added.
Alex gulped and tried to brace himself as he adopted a boxing stance.
"Be a lion. Be a lion." He told himself and punched Wigman in the face.
The wildebeest didn't budge but his head was knocked backward and he casually screwed it back into place, accompanied by a sickening crunch.
A stunned Alex was about to lose his stomach when Wigman butted heads with him and sent him tumbling away.
"King Julien, this is not going well!? We gotta do something!" Maurice panicked.
"Do not fret, Maurice! I know exactly what to do in a situation like this!" Julien announced and pulled out his own megaphone.
"Get up, ya big pansy! Get off your booty and fight harder! Fight HARDER!"
Picking himself up and spitting out some teeth, Alex collected himself and glared at his adversary before dropping down on all fours.
"Come on…channel your inner lion! You can do this!" he told himself before growing a feral expression and letting out a mighty roar.
"Yes, he's doing it!" Julien cheered.
Claws extended, Alex lunged at Wigman like a superhero about to hand out justice…only for his attack to be deflected by Wigman's glorious abs and Alex was slammed into a wall yet again.
"Vigman hat einen großartigen Waschbrettbauch!" Wigman boasted while flexing each one of his ab muscles.
Hans and his family cheered while holding a sign saying "Go Wigman!"
"I beg your pardon, sir?" an unnerved Mason turned to them. "But on whose side are you on?"
Hans told him that zombies had to stick together, but to the chimp, it was just unintelligible moaning.
A gleeful Bone-Fossa had his eyes glued to the arena, as did a stunned Julien and Maurice as Alex was getting the whooping of a lifetime.
Becca and Abner appeared on the bleachers and gasped in horror as they saw Wigman repeatedly smashing Alex's face into the wall.
"He's a dead cat!" Becca panicked and pulled on her hair.
"Hun, we gotta do somethin'?" Abner cried.
"We gotta tell King Julien!" Becca urged him. "There might be one way ta stop this!"
Wigman took his sweet time to deliver the finishing blow and exercised a few elbow-drops on Alex, making the lion's eyes almost pop out, while the crowd cringed in horror. Except for a certain couple of upper-class twits.
"Good show, jolly good show." Barty and his wife chuckled poshly.
"It's no fossa execution, but it's still quite entertaining." Julienne agreed.
"Alex!" Marty cried in despair before noticing Crimson in front of him.
"Hey, aren't ya that deadly Clover chick's twin sister?"
"Yes." Crimson nodded while admiring her nails.
Wigman stepped on Alex's foot to keep him in place and used him as an adjustable punching bag.
"And you're just as much of a warrior as she is?!"
"Certainly, we were both trained by our Grandma Rose. She was a force to be reckoned with."
Marty saw Wigman grabbing Alex in a headlock with his muscly calves and thrashing him around with his legs.
"So you could beat that monster and save Alex?!" Marty pleaded.
"I probably could?" Crimson shrugged.
"Then will ya? He's my best friend!" Marty pressed his hooves together in a begging gesture.
"You joking?" Crimson barked a laugh. "And risk breaking a nail? Puh-leeze!"
Wigman hooked the beaten and defeated Alex with his horns and swung him around before throwing him high into the air.
Julien and Maurice watched as Alex was being repeatedly tossed into the air.
"Maurice, this is bad! Very, very, supremely bad!" Julien was freaking out. "Mr. Alex is getting his booty handed to him! How embarrassing for our kingdom!"
"Worse! He's gonna die, King Julien!" Maurice cried. "This IS a fight to the death!"
"Oh…?" Julien remembered before screaming, "THAT IS SO MUCH WORSE!?"
"King Julien! King Julien!" Becca and Abner ran up to him and Maurice, panting.
"We… gotta… tell ya…somethin'?" Abner said between breaths.
"Not now, guys." Julien was biting his nails. "Your king's too preoccupied being paralyzed with utter terror as he is watching his dear friend and the kingdom's protector getting killed by a psycho ox dude."
"How did this happen?!" Maurice was clutching his head. "How did the fossa get Wigman?! The dead don't jus' come back to life!"
Hans moaned indignantly from the bleachers.
"Oh, man!" Julien dragged his hands through his terrified face. "Why can't Clover be here so she can be springing into action to save the day with her mad battle prowess! Why! Why!"
"We know how Wigman came back!" Becca cried, finally getting the ringtail and aye-aye's attention.
"Crazy hillbilly ex-rebel say what now?" a stunned Julien asked.
"Yes, we know how this 'appened!" Abner nodded. "And it's all our fault!"
"Your fault?" a dumbstruck Maurice asked. "How?"
"Step. Away. From the king, traitors." A familiar baritone cut in.
The four saw Karl confronting them, wielding his giant plasma gun, along with Pancho, wielding a harpoon gun, and Mort, who was holding a man-sized police baton, and wearing his rubber glove hat.
"Karl, don't aim that thing at the king!" Julien winced. "We all know about your lousy aim."
"King Julien, these two scoundrels have committed high treason!" Karl told him, aiming his steely glare and bigass gun at the cowering Abner and Becca, who were pressed against the stone railings.
"They've been conspiring with the fossa!" Pancho added, aiming his harpoon gun at them.
"DEATH! You will be sentenced to death!?" Mort ranted with a psychotic look in his eyes. "Your smoldering, mangled corpses shall hang like freshly-caught fishies! FISHIES!?"
"Conspiring with the fossa?!" Maurice blurted in utter disbelief, while Julien snorted.
"Guys, that is the funniest thing my royal ears have heard ever since I was told that Thrax was gonna fight Mr. Alex." Julien chuckled incredulously, seemingly forgetting that Alex was currently being destroyed in the arena. "No self-respecting lemur would betray their kin by working with the dreaded fossa."
He paused to ponder. "Well, except for my uncle? But he's a weaselly, unscrupulous, honorless piece of bushpig doo-doo anyway." He said with a casual shrug.
"King Julien, my drone footage confirms my accusaion." Karl told him. "I have seen with my own two eyes these two country bumpkins…" he glared at the couple, his voice laced with venom, "…making a deal with Bone-Fossa and Thrax!"
"King Julien, he's tellin' ya the truth!" Becca admitted frantically. "We helped dem fossa bring Wigman back from the grave! As a ZOMBIE! So he could kill Mr. Alex! And you! And Clover!"
"WHAT?!" the king was beside himself, while his advisor gasped before scowling with unbridled fury.
"Why would you do THAT!" Maurice snapped at them incredulously.
"We was tryin' ta overthrow 'im, alright! Ah know it was wrong!" Becca cried pleadingly.
"Yeah, we done wrong! But this ain't the time ta be scoldin' us, or Mr. Alex will be a goner!" Abner pointed to the arena.
Julien and Maurice looked down and saw Alex lying on the ground while Wigman was river dancing on top of his battered body.
"They're right, King Julien!" Maurice panicked. "We gotta do something?!"
"But what?!" King Julien was at a loss. "How do ya stop an undead bodybuilder wildebeest?!"
"Masikura! Masikura oughta know how ta undo this! This was her resurrection spell we looted!" Becca implored them.
"Masikura?" the king asked.
"Yes, we tapped her up and left her in a drawer in her hut!" Becca explained. "We need ta fetch her right now!"
A lasso was thrown over her and Abner by Pancho and he promptly tied them together.
"Fat chance, lady! You're not going anywhere!" the crowned lemur said dangerously.
"Fine wit' us, just git the dang chameleon!" Abner implored them.
"Yes, yes, what he said!" Julien barked. "Karl! Pancho! You get Masikura! Mort! You stay and guard the prisoners!"
The former two nodded and ran off, while Mort smiled creepily at the captives while tapping his palm with his baton.
"King Julien, we might not have the time!" Maurice cried while pointing down.
A battered Alex was dropped like a sack of potatoes, while Wigman was river dancing around the lion.
"Oh, ja! Vho iss ze King uff ze Beasts now, Herr Löwe! Vho iss beating die Scheisse out uff you?" the wildebeest pranced and pointed at Alex.
"Vigaman? Vigman! VIIIIGMAAAAANNN!" he sang his name in victory.
"Vigman! You had fun!" Bone-Fossa yelled down at him and slammed his fist against the railings.
"Finish him! Impale his heart with horns!"
Wigman looked down at his "opponent" and chuckled darkly. "Ah, schon gut. Not like the little girly lion's gonna last another fünf Minuten."
He cracked his beefy neck and prepared to deliver his infamous finishing blow, when he heard King Julien shouting.
"Yo, Wigman! You fatty, zombified heffer!" Julien laughed. "Bet you're glad Clover isn't here!"
"Vhat?!" Wigman growled and glared up at him.
"Yes, ya heard me!" Julien blew a raspberry at him. "You feeling macho beating up Mr. Alex? Hah! I'm sure you are! That big pansy is an easy target! Lucky you! Cuz not like you could take down a real gladiator! You know who I'm talking about!"
"How dare you!" a pissed Wigman marched up towards him until he was right in front of the balcony.
"Here's a hint, ya big dummy! Her name starts with a "C" and ends with "Over"! I'm sure you know her, given how you must be soiling yourself every time you think about her!"
Wigman blew steam through his nostrils and his eyes twitched.
"Yeah, she plowed you down like a chump!" Maurice shouted. "For all that muscle, you couldn't even fight a little lady lemur, ya big phony!"
"You said it, Mo-Mo! He is an overgrown pony, not a cow!"
"Don't you dare kompare Vigman to ze little horsies!"
"You're a big sissy horsie! Na-na-na-na-na!" Mort pranced around and flapped his tongue at him.
Abner and Becca stood up and scooted closer to them. "They're plum right!" Becca laughed. "If Clover were here, she'd kick yur heini in a heartbeat!"
"Yeah…ya wuss!" Abner drawled.
"Yeah, so what do you say to that, you big cowardly cow patty with your bulging man-pecks!" Julien laughed.
Wigman growled and was seeing red. He answered Julien's question with a mighty bellow before charging below them and ramming the wall.
This caused a crack to run up all the way to the balcony, causing it to split in half, before crumbling to pieces and causing the five lemurs to plummet into the arena. As the dust cleared, the bruised lemurs were lying in-between the rubble and Julien sat up.
"Oh, man…" he rubbed his sore head before being engulfed by a huge shadow.
"Sag "Auf Wiedersehen", Clover's twinzy."
He gulped as he was confronted with a grinning Wigman, who raised his fists, ready to flatten the ringtail like a pancake.
"Yes! Fossa win!" Bone-Fossa cheered with wide-eyed excitement. "Wigman kill both!"
"Hold on!" they all suddenly heard Karl's voice, and everyone looked up to see him and Pancho standing on the railings and the former holding Masikura, who was still tapped up except for her mouth.
"Masikura has something to say to you, you boorish bovid!" Karl announced. "Masikura, if you may?"
"Lasa fahavalo." She said simply.
"NOOO!" Bone-Fossa cried.
"Vhat?" Wigman asked before beams of light started exploding from all the sores on his body and the wildebeest could feel his essence fading into nothing.
"NEEEEEIIIIN!?" he cried as he was engulfed by the light and reduced back to a mere skull, which bounced off the ground and landed next to a battered and dazed Alex.
"Did ah win?" he drawled in a dopey voice before plopping on his face.
"Yes! We did it!" Julien jumped up and danced in victory before looking up. "You did it, Masikura! You sent that brute on a one-way trip back to Frankri-La!"
"Oh, no. You can only go to Frankri-La once." Masikura said sagely before pointing down. "He went to the other place."
Bone-Fossa watched the event in horrified disbelief before shifting his glance at the K.O-ed Alex and something dawned on him.
"Alex down for count!" he urged Thrax and the other fossa. "Lemurs unprotected! Fossa! ATTACK!"
"Fossa what now?" he winced and looked up to see Gloria looming over them, giving them a terrifying glare and punching her palm.
"Umm…" Bone-Fossa grinned nervously before pointing over his shoulder.
"Fossa running away? By!" he said in a squeaky voice and made like the wind, with his clan following suit.
Gloria watched them run through the tunnel and out of the arena with a satisfied smirk. "Mmmhhmm….that's what I thought."
"The death battle is over! What a spectacle!" Uncle Julien announced through his megaphone.
"And the winner is…" he scratched his head. "Ehh….Masikura, I guess?"
...
"We're sorry, King Julien. Guess we really screwed the pooch?" Abner drawled shamefully as he and Becca said farewell to King Julien at the shore of Feartopia, with Willie waiting in his new boat, the S.S. Latrine, and shaking fearfully as he clutched the helm. Abner was allowed to keep his voodoo priest hat, which he was currently clutching.
"Yeah…a tyrant would never grant us mercy like this instead of jus' choppin' our heads off and usin' our defleshed skulls as fruit bowls?" Becca added and promptly shuddered at the gruesome thought.
To their surprise, King Julien laughed. It wasn't a mocking laugh, but a sincere, mirthful one.
"No, guys. This isn't me "granting you mercy"." Julien explained. "That would imply that I am hating on you, and being a hater simply isn't the KJ style. Nobody wants to be a hater."
The coupled blinked in confusion. "But we almost got yur lion friend killed?" Becca reminded him.
"I know, that was seriously not cool." Julien narrowed his eyes before perking up. "But then I would be a major hypocrite if I got mad, given how many times I almost got my kingdom destroyed or my dearest friends killed. Besides, Mr. Alex should be fine…"
We cut to the megafauna hotel.
Marty, Melman and Gloria gathered around a battered and wheelchair-strapped Alex, who had his right arm and left leg in casts, his chest and the top of the head were bandaged up, he was missing half of his teeth and sported two black eyes.
Doctor S was looking the lion over to give his prognosis. "Don't worry." He giggled. "Mr. Alex should be making a full recovery in no time."
"Mommy?" Alex babbled in a dopey voice while going wall-eyed. "Can ah ride my rainbow-fartin' Pegasus tuh da magical kingdom of La-La Land tuh fight da evil Emperor Tai Lung?"
"Whoop! Whoop!" he laughed while waving his arms around.
Doctor S's face faltered. "Then again, my prognoses have been dead wrong before?"
Back to the lemurs.
Julien continued, "And anyway, if it had been up to me, you guys would have just been given a slap on the wrist and a firm scolding, but…" he rubbed the back of his neck and gave them an apologetic smile.
"My peoples didn't see it the same way? They wished for you to be beheaded for high treason since you conspired with the fossa and all? So, banishing you two into exile was the best compromise I could squeeze out of this very not-good situation."
Abner and Becca deflated and glanced down.
"We getz it?" Becca sighed sadly. "We gotta own up ta our mistakes. Guess ah ain't gettin' that secretary job, huh?
"We're jus' sorry we've been tryin' ta kill ya for all these years?" Abner sighed.
"No hard feelings, it's all water under the bridge." Julien smiled. "Besides, I've managed to book you guys a pretty sweet gig…well, as far as exile goes? Uncle Julien has agreed to take you two quirky rogues in. It gets pretty lonely here with just him and Zora?"
"That's…uncharacteristically generous of 'im?" Becca squinted uneasily.
Julien jumped into Willie's ship and it set sail. "You can thank Zora for it. Love redeems even the blackest of hearts!"
He waved as the boat sailed off into the distance. "Goodbye! So long! Till we meet again, my homies!"
Abner and Becca waved back.
"Well, it wasn't a total bust, darlin'?" Abner shrugged to his wife. "At least we're on good terms again?"
"And ah got ta keep this fancy 'at." He put his new hat back on.
"Alright, enough dilly-dallying, slaves." They heard and turned around to find Uncle Julien standing atop of the stairs, arms crossed and sporting an impatient scowl.
"You have lots of work to do, so get to it. Chop chop!" he clapped his hands before pointing at Abner.
"My musclebound mistress needs someone to disinfect all her skin pouches every four hours and clean her personal bathroom, for she eats a lot of fiber to stay fit. And you, lady!"
"You're gonna be my personal aide. See, I suffer from a lot of unsightly medical conditions due to my…advanced age, and I need someone to help treat them! There's lots of places I can't reach. So get busy!"
Abner and Becca's jaws dropped and they exchanged queasy looks.