Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

With the sky ominous, the trees dark like threatening spears over my head, I fell. What was this place? Where was I? Or the better question perhaps - who was I?

I knew my name - maybe it was my name? - and it was Aesha. That was it - maybe. I couldn’t even begin to comprehend my own past - the concept of a past wracked my brain in the attempt to recall it. Did it exist? How did I know how to think and speak if it didn’t? Who am I?

Clutching my knees and hiding in the damp black leaves, I looked up once again to the sky. Was the world in black and white? I couldn’t see any color.

Something grabbed onto my shoulder and I screamed, trying to jam my pale fist into whatever it was. “Aesha! Aesha! It’s me,” someone said.

I turned around to see someone, but I didn’t know them at all. “Who-” was all I could creak out.

“Jyrus! It’s me, Jyrus! Don’t you remember me?”

I didn’t.

“Oh god… they said…”

“Who? What did they say?” I managed to spit out.

“I… I can barely remember who they were. But there was something about memory wipes… bad ones. But I remember you!” he exclaimed in a joy I couldn’t fathom sharing.

I couldn’t say anything else, for there was quite literally nothing else to say. I didn’t remember this one, I didn’t remember myself. I only knew one thing: fear.

We stared at each other for some time. I tried to move myself from this frozen grip, but every muscle in my body was made of stone. But where would I go anyway? There wasn’t anywhere to go.

My vision started to become unrememberable, and I knew I was going to vomit. Almost involuntarily, I laid on the ground, breathing through collapsing lungs. “I’ll, uh, I’ll find the others,” this Jyrus said and took off.

I drove my fingers into the cold, dark, wet dirt, and mindlessly but gently tore into the earth. It was like falling through a grey foggy void of sleep.

A breath entered my lungs, a deep breath, my body giving an involuntary shudder. I took my hand out of the dirt and absentmindedly stared at it. Small, almost microscopic bits stuck to my hands. It didn’t matter though. It was kind of cool looking.

I didn’t know how, but the minutes passed into hours, for the next time I glanced at the sky, it had shifted to an almost black shade of night, with no stars for comfort.

Shakily, I got up and walked just beyond a tree. Bright lights were coming? But how?

I heard shouting too. I had to run - I thought I did - but why would I? I don’t think I could manage it anyway.

Hiding only halfway behind the tree, I watched as the lights came closer. Who was it? Was I safe? Why did I feel like I wasn’t safe, even though my memory had blanked with no past recollection of fear?

Oh… those were humans - like me - coming with the lights. It was going to be okay. I was going to be okay.
I would’ve come out from behind the tree, but I was too tired. I leaned on it and closed my eyes. People were coming. I’d be okay. I’d be okay. I’d be okay…

Chapter Text

I opened my eyes, and they were ripped violently into by bright lights. I threw my hands up like a protective shield, and a cloth came with them. Confused but unwilling to yield to the light, I rolled over.

Murmurs were around me. What had happened? What did I do?

How did I pass out just standing by a tree, waiting for the people to come?

“H-hey,” someone said stammering, and a light presence felt apparent on my shoulder.

I grumbled and brushed them away, my eyes still not ready to face the light.

“I- uh… uh… could you, you could… get up? Are you okay?” they asked through a shaky voice.

“Why,” I said.

It wasn’t an ask. It was a statement. One I was not willing to receive an answer for.

“Because, um…” they seemed at a loss for words.

Maybe if I was quiet enough, this confusion would go away. Along with this person.

A door opened, and I growled. Don’t care don’t care don’t care don’t care don’t care-

“You have to get up. What if they call you next?” the person, who I could now tell was sitting right next to me, feverishly advised.

Finally ready to embrace the harsh reality of a life I didn’t know anything about, I got up. My eyes still itched, and I rapidly blinked away the pain. “Call me?” I asked.

I turned to the annoyance next to me, and now it made sense. Their scared and spindly nature was apparent even in their body shape. I couldn’t even tell if they were a boy or girl at this point. They looked at me with darting blue eyes and answered, “Yeah, for-”

They were cut off as a person at the door half-shouted, “SCP-7381-K, report for testing!”

And then I realized just how many of us there were.

Finally looking around the bright room, I saw all of the people there. We were practically wearing the same clothes, all dappled grey and green pants and shirts, with thin jackets that some had taken off. We were all so young, too. Five, seven, ten, sixteen? Huh. I wonder how old I was.

A kid that couldn’t have been older than 13 got up, and shambled towards the door. He looked… ill, but not on the verge of death. Huh. I wonder how I look.

He left with the man at the door, looking worried, nervous, shaken even, but not scared. “Where is he going?” I asked.

“Testing. It doesn’t hurt. It’s alright, seriously. They just do some stuff. Like, uh, taking blood and checking for injuries. I was okay. I even got some food afterwards! Good food too.”

“What’s your name?” I asked abruptly.

“Uh, Arrien. But they won’t call us by our names. They’ll call us by a number. Yours is SCP-7381-M,” she said.

“How do you know?”

“Because… because… it’s, uh, right there on your bracelet,” she pointed out.

I looked at where she had pointed, and lo and behold, there was indeed a bracelet on there. It had the aforementioned number, and also had a weird symbol that had three arrows pointing to each other, stuck in a circle. “Are we prisoners?” I asked.

“No! At least… we shouldn’t be… prisoners aren’t kept like this… aren’t they?”

“I don’t remember.”

“Well… I don’t either,” Arrien said. “But I mean… prisoners also do bad things… we didn’t do anything bad… I think.”

“I can’t remember. I can only remember what could be my name - Aesha.”

“Aesha and Arrien. Hehe. So, uh… could you stick with me? For now. If that’s okay. If that’s alright, you know…,” she asked, wringing her hands.

“Alright,” I said simply. It couldn’t really hurt… for as much of being a stuttering annoyance, I kind of liked her.

She seemed scared, and I guess I felt a need to protect her in a way. Which wasn’t really a good feeling, but it was there and I was going to enact on it anyway.

“Thank you,” she said, seemingly massively relieved, and hugged my side.

I did not hug back.

Chapter Text

I drummed my fingers on my thigh, the blanket that used to cover them now stolen by Arrien. They had just called in another one of us for testing. I didn’t know her name, but she was called SCP-7381-L. My letter was M, so I assumed I was going to be next. Even though Arrien said it would be fine, there still existed intense untrust.

Someone came up to me, trying to start a conversation, but I dully looked into their eyes. What was I going to share anyway? My lack of memory, or my only memory - that of losing time in the woods. How did that even happen, anyway?

The person trying to talk to me decided that I couldn’t offer much, and left. That was okay by my standards.

Arrien leaned on my shoulder, and I saw her close her eyes. I was tempted to push her off, but she was just as tired and scared as I was. Plus, she’d stare at me with those sad blue eyes in betrayal. I guess I didn’t want that too much either.

I was tempted to ask all the other people here questions, but we all seemed just as confused. To be honest, the only question I really wanted an answer to was simple: Am I safe?

And judging from the fact that no one was upset or scared, it seemed we were. For now.

I looked down at my hands. Not particularly entranced by them, I started to doze off. Just as I was about to fall into the void, someone yelling and screaming brought me back to reality.

I snapped my head up, about ready to punch someone. But any thought of punching was quickly erased and replaced with thoughts of running for my life.

The back wall was rapidly blackening, becoming dark and oily. I nearly shook Arrien, only to find that she was already awake and had jumped to her feet.

Almost immediately, everyone collectively backed towards the wall - all with various unhelpful degrees of screams and cries. They pounded at the door with no response. I thought there was someone just outside?

Other than Arrien, two small children, and a guy who had passed out, I was the only one who hadn’t huddled against the wall.

I stayed, sitting down. I wasn’t scared. There wasn’t any reason to hide for now. I just stared at the corrupted wall, watching the patch getting larger and larger.

Then, someone walked out of it. Or maybe something was the better word, for it looked just barely human. Oily perverse skin the texture of the blackened wall covered its entire body, and it’s emaciated arms hung loosely at its sides. Sitting as the perfect centerpiece of its rotten face were shallow disks of fogged glass, but they were filled with anything but opaque emotions.

The screaming got louder and worse, and the thing’s rotten mouth opened to reveal a twisted face-splitting grin - maybe a little too literally.

I finally got up, it now hitting me there was some danger. But the thing didn’t seem that interested in me.

No, it seemed more concerned on the little children that were cowering right in front of it.

It reached it’s bony fingers towards them, just barely grazing their shoulders. A black residue was left, and I heard it sizzle.

Oh, now that wasn’t good. Now there was danger. Now there was something to be scared about.

I started to move slowly away from it, trying to drag Arrien with me, but she ripped away. I tried to grab her again and she dodged my hand, purposely taking a step closer to that thing.

The two children tried to back up, but the creature grabbed at them, and they let out screams of all negativity. They wriggled and squirmed and clawed and cried out for help, but it did not let go.

Arrien leapt at the thing and loosely hit it in it’s emaciated arm. Immediately recoiling, she stepped back and stared in horror at the blackness that covered her fist. The creature recoiled, it’s arms held closely to its sides. The smile that used to split the face receded far too fast for my comfort.

The blackness on her fist started to spread, much to Arrien’s horror. The thing let go of the children, and took steps back towards the blackened wall, hugging it just as much as the children on the other side.

Arrien’s face turned to a grimace, then a snarl, then a scream. Her arm twisted and writhed in it’s own skin, growing and ripping, shredding and tearing.

I stepped forward to help, but through her tears and cries she told me, “Get away, get back!” I glanced over at the oily monster that caused this, but it had halfway sunken into the wall, seemingly unsure if to stay or leave.

Arrien backed away from everyone, the corruption spreading all over her chest and back. A horrified and deranged look filled her shifting pupils, them becoming a hideous slit in her eyes.

She hit the ground, kneeling animalistically. I ran back towards the wall. Could there be anything I could do now to save her? Had I failed her? Or myself?

Her face, now perverted and twisted beyond recognition and repair, was pulled into a vicious snarl, the human teeth gone and replaced with yellowed fangs - dripping with her own darkened blood.

Finally, the door opened, and everyone sprinted out except for me. I stayed, just for a moment longer, to take one last glance at what Arrien had become.

Then, I bolted out of the door and into the grey hallway, daring to look back once.

Chapter Text

I had taken off down a hallway to the left, but I ran into a group of armed personnel wearing thick combat armor. One grabbed my arm, and the rest ran down the hallway back towards where I had just left from.

“SCP-7381 instance secured,” he radioed. “This one’s SCP-7381-M. Over,”

“Where is the rest of the unit? Over,” he was answered back.

“Working on containing the rest of the instances as well as securing the area. Over.”

“Just make sure SCP-106 doesn’t get either of you. Radio if you find any more. Over,”

“Copy. Over and out,” he replied.

I was silent. I felt numb, but I was somehow still shaking.

“Okay, where did the others go?” he questioned.

“I- we all ran. Some went down the right hall. I was the only one to go down the left hall,” I answered.

I had questions, mainly about what the hell had happened back there, but I could clearly see that this was not the time.

“Okay, come with me. I can’t leave you alone here.”

Nodding, I followed him down the hall. It wasn’t too hard to find the other kids, a group stupidly huddling together at the back of a hallway.

“Co-” I was about to say, but was cut off.

“Come on,” the guard stole the words from my mouth. “It’s not safe here.”

Naturally, they didn’t comply. I barely knew anything but I knew I didn’t like little kids.

“Come on!” I roared at them, shaking my fist violently.

That scared them, and they got up, scrambling over to us.

“Oh, babysitting,” I heard the guard mumble.

I heard something - a wall? - being crashed through, followed by a horrific scream. Shit, was my first and largely involuntary thought.

Oh, it was getting worse too. Not only did you have a symphony of pain, but now there was a chorus of rips and tears added onto it. Well… if I die… at least I didn’t have much to live for.

But everything died down, and at least there weren’t any more vulgar sounds emanating from the other hallway. Maybe it was safe - it probably wasn’t though.

“Stay here,” the guard commanded, gesturing to hold back.

He peeked over at the hallway, and after a moment gestured for us to come.

Dragging the small children, I crept forward. I could only assume the worst about what happened.

Somehow, even through their thick armor, the other guards lie dead, blood and blackness spread all over the walls. The children tried to scream, but I silenced them with a hand over their mouths. “Shut up,” I growled through clenched teeth.

“It looks clear. Let’s go,” the guard said, and he carefully picked his way through the massacred corpses that littered the ground.

I hung to the back, making sure there wasn’t anyone else that could be left behind. It didn’t seem so.

A burning started to fill my lower right leg. Confused, I looked down and saw, embedded in my leg with no reason why, a chunk of thin metal - probably a knife? Maybe not, though - wrapped neatly around it, stabbing me in the process.

I tried to pull it out but it didn’t budge. I’d have time to get that later. I looked back one more time, then took off to catch up.

Chapter Text

After the incident,  it was decided by some higher-up that all of us needed to be moved to an entirely different “site” as they were called, and that we were all to be confined to singular or dual rooms - or as they were called here, containment chambers. I didn’t care what they were called though.

I was given a singular room with nothing but a bed. Was this prison? It seemed closer and closer to it by the day.

I had managed to learn enough about the world outside these walls. It wasn’t much, mind you, but it still meant something. Religion, politics, basic animals and world environments. I knew that I was most definitely disabled in my world knowledge, but it’s not like I had a lifetime's worth of memories pre-saved like every other human in this world.

By the time I was given my postponed test, the small bit of metal wrapping my leg had fallen off, and the wound miraculously healed. Of course I didn’t tell the scientists here about that. My trust for this place and the dodgy people in it was diminishing by the day. 

Every day, we were allowed to socialize with the others - we were dubbed Returnees for some reason - and I never once saw Arrien.

What had happened to her? And if that was her - and it most definitely was - that killed those other guards, what the hell caused her to do that?

I felt a general nothingness towards everyone else, but the loss of Arrien - even though I had only known her for a short time - still somehow stung. I didn’t know why, I couldn’t explain it, but I wanted her back. She didn’t deserve whatever had happened to her.

I had asked about it once. I was told it was classified.

It turns out that all of us “Returnees” had powers of sorts. Some were basic and probably stupid, like being able to hear much better than the average human or seeing in the dark. Though, there were some very interesting ones. One of us could manipulate his own field of gravity. There was another - who was now gone for some reason - who could use any form of music to control others. It seemed to exclude actually singing for some reason, though.

Now all of us had been put through somewhat rigorous tests to figure out what our powers were. A lot of them had been rooted out exceptionally fast. Some of them had taken a few days, even a week. To my knowledge, I was one of the only ones whose power wasn’t known - to the scientists, at least. 

I think I had an idea of what it was, but it wasn’t a good idea to tell. Experimenting with it might be… painful and brutal.

We were let out for our hour or so of socializing, herded into a sterile and clean room. There were some toys for the younger children, but they hardly played. It seemed like they didn’t know how. Granted, I didn’t really either, but I knew that playing was supposed to come easily to young children. 

For the most part, we just sat around. Occasional talk sometimes occurred, but it was small and never in-depth. Come to think of it, the deepest friendship that had probably occurred here was the brief moments Arrien and I shared together.

I started to phase out. Ah well. Here we go again , I thought.

Entranced by nothing but the whiteness of the wall, I lost all hearing of the other people. I knew just how this was. It would only feel like a few minutes, then hours later I’d be dragged back into existence by someone. 

After what felt like only a few seconds, someone running into me finally broke the wall of stasis. I was going to glare at them, but my attention quickly jumped from whoever did that.

Leaning against the wall was one of the people - SCP-7381-E if my memory on our numbers still served - but he glowed with a bright orange bleedthrough.

That reminded me - I hadn’t seen the sun during my entire recallable existence so far. Interesting. Maybe I should change that.

The memory of what happened to Arrien leaping to the forefront of my mind, I jumped up and ran to the door. “Hey!” I yelled. “Something’s not right here!”

This time, they actually came to the door. But just as the guard started to open it, I heard a deafening explosion just behind me.

The impact made me hit my head on the door, and I let out a small sound of disagreement. Bastard , my first and involuntary thought from the smack.

I turned around and saw the kid - or maybe I should say what was left of him. 

“Did he just - did he just explode? ” someone asked, the person who asked being covered in a red mist.

The door had opened, but I still stood there, numb as ever. Just as people started to rush past, everyone was yanked for just a moment. The sound of popping and breaking filled the air. 

Suddenly, as if I was jabbed a hundred times all at once, my body was assaulted by something. Something small…

I looked down, and I was covered in buttons. Small bloodstains on my clothes were starting to seep through. 

Before I even had a chance to process what even happened, my arm was grabbed and I was dragged away, not violently or brutally but not exactly kindly either.

Chapter Text

“SCP-7381-M, could you tell me what happened before the buttons embedded in your skin?” the scientist in front of me asked.

The buttons embedded in my skin couldn’t be removed - they tried - by hand, by object, by magnet - they were stuck in there. 

I didn’t mind, though. It didn’t hurt too bad. 

“I was sitting. Then I saw SCP-7381-E start to glow. Then I went to the door. I called for help. He exploded. The door opened,” I recalled simply.

“Has anything like this ever happened before?”

“No,” I lied.

“Are you sure? Have you ever felt strange sensations, or have unusual wounds?”

“No,” I lied again.

I was deadbeat enough. Hopefully they’d believe me. 

“Alright,” the scientist said, writing a few things down.

He handed me a thin sheet of metal and instructed, “Think of the event and anything leading up to it.”

“Okay,” I agreed.

I did. In fact, I didn’t just think of the force everyone was jerked back with when their buttons on their clothes flew off, I didn’t just think about the pile of cinder and blood that remained from 7381-E’s explosion. No, I thought about more.

I recalled all the wasted hours sitting and staring at blank walls. I remembered the almost melodic screams of the guards being murdered. I thought about Arrien’s face ripping and distorting. 

At the beginning of it all was the grey sky and black trees, encasing me in a lock of black and white.

“Stop,” I was instructed.

Snapped out of the endless memory loop, my eyes itchy and dry, I looked down at the small sheet of metal. It seemed… bent, but that might have been my imagination.

But I set it down, and it sure wasn’t my imagination. It was curved, only slightly, but still curved.

“What exactly were you thinking of when the metal was bent?” he asked.

“I don’t know.”

“Why?”

“I wasn’t paying attention. I was thinking. That’s what you told me to do.”

“I would have assumed you’d be paying attention to the metal. After all, I gave it to you for a reason.”

“You were paying attention to it. That’s good enough.”

He sighed and explained, “We need to figure out what causes the reaction. That’s why we’re doing these experiments.”

Is this his first day on the job?  

“Fine,” I said. “I’ll do this again. Paying attention this time.”

The last bit was more of a question than an acknowledgement.

I thought about all of my memories, over and over, focusing on each one and on the sheet of metal in my hand.

My mind started to drift off into a grey void, and I purposely dropped the sheet.

“Well. It looks like whatever it was doesn’t work anymore,” I concluded.

Just seconds before I set my head down on the table, I felt the back of an arm being grabbed. “Well, let’s try another experiment then,” the scientist announced through halfway-veiled displeasure.

Stupid human , my brain almost involuntarily thought.

We had made our way to a larger room. Its shiny white walls made my eyes burn. I couldn’t take this anymore.

But it would be over soon. Just one more experiment, I told myself. One more time. Then I could go back to my jail cell.

A lab , my brain recognized. Hmm. 

I took a seat on the depressing chair, and much to my discontent, clamps went around my wrists.

Great , I thought.

Gazing around the room, aiming to look curious rather than downright inquisitive, I spotted a few things that I could make use of. 

“We’re going to give you a shot that’ll increase your blood pressure. It’ll be very similar to a fear response, as that’s the leading theory around your involuntary magnetism,” I was assured.

So that’s what they’re calling it. Oh, and it’s being labelled as a “fear response.”

Funny. Imagine knowing the truth.

A scientist came up to me, holding a needle. A small amount of a clear substance filled it, and I very well knew I did not want that in my veins. 

But I had to sit through it. It would be done soon. It would be almost over. Then I could go back to my jail cell.

I noticed the wrist cuffs weren’t as tight as they could’ve been. I wonder why…

How much of a threat did they really consider me? 

The scientist briefly stabbed me with the needle for a split second. Rather than worry about the small pinprick, I braced myself. I couldn’t let them see the truth.

They weren’t entirely wrong about a fear response, but they sure weren’t right either.

Like some creeping monstrosity, unnatural fear flowed through my veins. I clenched my fists, my teeth, all my muscles. 

There it was… I could finally feel it.

Was this emotion?

I bent my head over and grinned manically, joy and fear mingling and dancing in my mind like some crazed pagan celebration. I couldn’t stop anything now - but why would I?

Having barely noticed the assortment of metals in front of me, it became apparent that they really did exist when they started to pierce my skin.

They shouldn’t have hurt, they were so small and insignificant… but they hurt. And the pain, oh the pain. How was something that’s supposed to be so evil truly be so beautiful?

The cuff on my wrist momentarily tightened. Had I struggled? Was the plan complete? I was so close.

Just one more night in prison, then freedom.

Just as the emotions began, they ended, leaving me with nothing more than the manic memories and a body now littered with metal scraps. 

I lifted, then lowered my head, feeling a bit of a cold sweat upon my entire body. My arms quaked and shivered, and I started to close my eyes.

“Holy shit,” I heard a scientist say, but his human worries were far beyond my concern now.

Much to my irritation, someone was poking me, prodding me. Someone was trying to move the bits of metal that were snugly wrapped in my skin. Someone was trying to move me out of the chair. For all their faults… at least they had the brains to lock me up during that.

I had to murder a smile just thinking about what I could do to them.

“Can you stand?” I was asked.

Not opening my eyes, I responded simply. “Probably… not.”

I tried to stand on my own, managing to stilt myself up upon the unstable foundations that were my own legs. Why did feeling emotions rip so much out of me? And why did I want to feel them so much again?

Oh god, I still had to deal with my human side. I had forgotten about that.

I had to ascend from this filthy body soon. Very soon.

With some assistance, I managed to get back to my jail cell. They had called it a room - my room, but I knew what it really was. 

I flopped ungraciously on the bed. If there was one thing I’d miss about being made of flesh, it was the feeling of sleeping on soft things.

Chapter Text

Sometime after I had fallen on my bed - probably sooner than later - I had fallen asleep. It was fortunate that I managed to do that - I would need a lot of energy for tomorrow.

Maybe I wouldn’t. Who knows. Maybe I’d be… what did they call it? Tragedy, tyranny, technology, terror?

No, no. The word was terminate. 

Heh. Maybe if this didn’t work out, they’d “terminate” me. 

Well… I just had to make sure termination couldn’t be on the table.

I had been awoken by walking, stomping, the sounds that weren’t considered when they made this prison cell. I had been awoken by some force moving above my head for the entire time I had been here - how long was that?

Even though I felt an urge to go back to sleep, I knew what I had to do meant so much more important than the human desire to sleep.

I sat up on the bed and stared down at my thigh. In the darkness, I could barely see, but it wouldn’t be worth the risk to turn on the light. I couldn’t let them know that I was awake, that I was alive, that I was about to be free.

Eyes adjusting to the dark, I brushed my hand over my thigh - overly thin but still enough to house a bit of metal. How have I not died yet? That would kill a mortal man - yet more proof that I needed to ascend. 

I would become second to Death itself - not God, but not less.

Taking a deep breath, I pulled at a metal chunk embedded in my leg. It hid what I needed, just inside another chunk of metal.

It seemed that the tool that hid inside the metal chunk was deeper than I thought. I pulled slightly, and realized just how much this was about to hurt. How could something embed itself so deep?

I didn’t need an answer on how I had healed so fast, or how I was even still alive. I just needed to finish this.

As I tore it from my skin, the pain burned in every way, and if I were a lesser being I would’ve screamed. But I was a god. The pain didn’t mean anything. 

I ripped out what I was searching for, it being somewhat warm, somewhat cold, but the lower half being covered in something warm and slimy - my own blood. How had they not noticed? Maybe it was in the chaos when all the sorts of metal objects covered my body. Oh… more of those were still there. I didn’t mind at all. In fact, it put a warm feeling in my cold body.

I twirled the scalpel around in my fingers, my arms quaking. I felt warmth fall down my leg, and knew that couldn’t be anything else but my own blood.

Well, I sure wasn’t going to sleep after that. I needed to stay awake now. Someone would come in. I couldn’t let them have the upper hand.

My mind started to fall back into it’s fog once again, but this time, it was different. I could feel every second, every minute, every hour, but I was trapped in my own mind. This was no grey mist of comfortable forgetfulness, this was a deep red smog of hell.

But time didn’t matter much to me anyway.

Hours later, I heard footsteps, and knew they were coming for me.

Practically having to mentally headbutt myself to be dragged out of the mind fog, I  then grazed my leg, and felt nothing but the dried streams of blood and a single semi-fresh wound.

I cloaked the wound under my shaking hand. It wouldn’t be hidden for long, but it would be hidden just long enough.

The door unlocked, and the light turned on automatically. Even though I had been awake for hours, my eyes still burned when the harsh light leapt upon the room.

I rapidly opened and closed my eyes, washing away the pain. It was weird - even though chunks of metal were embedded into my skin and I hardly felt a thing, one stupid lightbulb practically drove me blind.

The bloodstains were being covered, with the exception of the ones on my leg. Not much I could do about that. But at least I’d have some time.

Peeking through my aching eyes, I saw that the person who had entered was a scientist. Just past the door, I saw two guards. 

Just two?

Maybe I was overestimating myself. Who knows. 

Either way, this plan could end in escape or death and both didn’t really seem like bad choices.

“SCP-7381-M, please proceed with us for relocation and testing,” she said, almost without emotion, a normal occurrence for her.

Relocation, relocation, relocation , I mentally scratched my brain for that word.

I couldn’t think of the definition just yet. 

“What?” I asked, keying clueless.

“You’re to come for relocation to Site-4573, where testing will take place.”

“Relocation?” I hinted for an explanation.

“Relocation is being moved from this site to 4573,” she explained.

Ah… yet another prison.

She was being so kind in comparison to the other scientists. It would surely be a shame for what I would have to do to her.

But I had to. Humans - well, most of them - were inferior to me. Only through their deaths could I achieve what I needed the most.

I needed to become divine.

Sitting up carefully, I walked towards the door. The scalpel dripped down to my palm, a small blade right between my fingers. 

Her eyes had a realization as she gazed over at the bed, them filled with shades of confusion and horror, but there was nothing she could do now.

Just as quickly as it ended, my hand went to her throat and plunged the scalpel deep in.

Blood pooled like some unholy fountain, and she gasped a twisted gurgle. Trying to claw for me, she stumbled backwards.

The guards threw open the door and barreled in, aiming their guns at me. I grinned - not at the death for I felt no joy from killing, only energy - but at the fact that they’d be demoted to useless very, very soon.

“Get down on the floor!” one roared at me.

My face practically ripping open with a smile, I didn’t listen.

“I will shoot!”

I chuckled. “Dumbass.”

Their guns fell into pieces like some poorly-baked pastry before their eyes, the metal bits flying like terrified birds towards me and all the other materials clanging to the floor, useless.

“What the…”

“Go,” I warned. “Or I’ll slaughter you too.”

It unsettled me a little bit saying those words - they didn’t feel right coming out of my mouth. I didn’t want to slaughter excessively, I just needed one or two deaths, not a miasma of them.

The guards still came at me, even with their guns gone and their parts attributing to my form. 

A pair of black sharp bits crept up to my hands, resting dangerously atop them, forming sharp makeshift claws. I knew what I had to do, but I didn’t want to. 

I guess I didn’t really have a choice, though. It was the life of a divine, or the life of a weak mortal human.

One step forward felt like it sent shockwaves through the ground and my veins.The guards readied themselves for combat they could never win.

One advanced towards me, and the other hung to the side, but judging on his movements I knew he would try to get behind me. Oh, that wasn’t going to happen. 

I swung a clawed hand towards a guard, my strength now not what it used to be. He raised his arms to block my swing but the mere impact of it threw him off his feet and stumbling backwards.

The other guard ran up behind me, trying to wrap his arms around my neck. The feeling of rough cloth showed success on his end, but sharp bits of metal slid over to my back. I could feel them protruding as I struggled in combat with him.

I body slammed myself back into him. He jumped and fell back, and I turned.

Before he could comprehend what had happened, I was on him. I didn’t hunger for blood, but the divinity in me did. 

Even through thick armor, claws pierced, blood flowed. I kept stabbing, cutting, even though I had told myself that I didn’t need to, I only needed to incapacitate, I only needed to defend myself…

The other guard getting to his feet alerted me. I hadn’t killed him, I only knocked him over.

But maybe I could go without more bloodshed for now?

I sprinted past the guard. A trace of malicious wind breezed my shoulder from an attempted grab. 

Frantically darting around, I scrambled to find an exit from this colorless prison. Where were the doors? Were there other guards? How many people would be dead by the time I freed myself?

Yes, there were other doors.

What they housed were my fellow Returnees.

Maybe they were just as divine as I was.

I ran over to one of the doors and stabbed the handle, causing more metal to fly off and join me. The door swung open slightly to reveal a startled Returnee.

“Come on, you can be free! Escape this hell, this prison ,” I snarled.

They just stared at me, more startled than anything.

 “Fine. You have your chance. Take it,” I hissed and ran for the next door.

Just as I was breaking it open, a loud alarm went off.

Oh, I remembered this. This was the exact alarm that had played when Arrien turned into… whatever she became.

The breach alarm.

I kicked the door open to reveal another Returnee. But… this one was familiar.

“Aesha?” he asked in a hopeful way.

I nodded my head in agreement. “Aesha! Do you remember me! We found each other in the woods. It’s Jyrus.”

He walked up to me, and I stepped back.

I had forgotten about him, but I remembered him now.

“I do remember you. But that’s not important right now. I’m leaving this place. I’ve opened the door for you. Take it and get out of this goddamn prison,” I advised, turning to leave.

“But wait - what’s happened to you? Why are you covered in blood and… bits of things?” he asked, now seemingly fearful.

I stopped. “I’m not human. I’m beyond human,” I explained without looking back at him. “I have to become what I was chosen to be.”

“What? What are you talking about? You’re… are you okay?”

I didn’t bother to answer that question and ran off.

Chapter Text

I didn’t have any more time to rip open doors. I had to run if I wanted to secure my own freedom. I just hoped those two had the brains to follow suit.

Despite the fact that I was carrying probably pounds of metal on my back, I didn’t feel slow or hindered. I felt faster, I felt lighter. I felt beautiful.

Sprinting around a corner, I was met with a small squadron of guards. They raised their weapons to me, but the guns flew apart and hit me. The bits crowded around my feet and legs, and my entire body felt lighter than ever.

I dashed forward, my steps now having a satisfying clank to them. I brutally shoved past the guards, them being almost powerless to stop me. 

I realized something fun - I was taller! Looking down at my legs, they had formed a new structure, all made in metal. They still looked hastily put together, but I would change that eventually.

I dashed and raced around, practically gliding through the hallways. I was unstoppable. At least for now.

I turned a corner and saw a scientist looking around confused. Already on him by the time he turned around, he tried to run but I cut him off.

“How do I get out of here?” I demanded.

He seemed too scared to say anything, but I picked him up. “Tell me - how do I get out of this hell?”

“I- uh, you go through Exit B…” he stammered.

“Exit B, and then? ”

“If you don’t get shot at!”

I dropped him, and he hit the ground with a grunt. “That doesn’t matter. I can’t die from your pathetic metal, I am its god. Thank you,” I said and ran off.

Where was Exit B?

I looked all over the walls and saw a sign. It’s arrow was pointing right in the direction I was heading, but it said “Exit A.”

Eh, who cares. Exit A, Exit B. All the same things - hopefully - just different names.

I ran off down the hallway, and honest-to-god real light was in my eyes. I could see light, I could see outside. I was so close, just a little bit more…

The doors were closing! I had to get closer. Just a little bit more…

My heart racing, I leaped through the gap in the door just as it closed. A bit or two of metal got squished in and pulled off, but that didn’t matter.

Momentarily blinded by the brightness of day, I shielded my face and eyes with a clawed hand. “SCP-7381-M, we will be forced to terminate you if you do not surrender,” a massive voice said.

How much longer before the death wore off?

Oh, I had time , I concluded as parts of things that I didn’t even know existed formed my new skeleton.

I looked up, and saw something flying over my head. It was loud, black, and huge. Atop it a blur of rotating air held it suspended.

A helicopter?

It was staring right at me, and that’s where the yelling voice was coming from. 

I looked closer, and the strange metal had fallen from its body. I grinned. It couldn’t be near me for long.

The driver seemed to recognize that, and started to fly away slightly. 

Oh my god. The sky - the sky was just as beautiful as it was in the pictures.

Looking outwards, I saw trees and mountains in the distance. My eyes began to water, my body desperately yearning to get over there.

Just one more challenge.

Readying myself, I stretched my fingers and legs. My muscles burned and twitched even more than before. I took a deep breath, regaining a little bit of the lost energy.

I jumped forward, racing because my life truly depended on it. The helicopter turned towards me, putting motivation in my mind to run even faster. I only had a bit of time before the helicopter started shooting.

I couldn’t have been immune to bullets, they moved too fast to absorb. But you can’t tell anyone that, you can’t let them see that you fear something,  can’t show them that you fear anything.

Weaving aimlessly, I approached closer and closer to the edge. There was a fence, I could practically taste the fresh grass and earth. 

But it would all mean nothing if I didn’t make it. I had to make it. I had to know freedom. 

Something from the helicopter shot down and exploded, but I lept just out of its reach. Oh god, just a little bit more… 

The fence was huge, I didn’t realize it at first. There wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell I’d climb it up and over in time. 

I gripped on the fence and tore a slash through it with my claws, making a row of an uneven cut. The helicopter shot down again, and it blasted me back. 

My ears were destroyed with nothing but the sound of some monotone flatline ring. Little bits of shredding shrapnel had cut into my skin in an unpleasant way, and I winced on the ground. 

But the helicopter had stupidly done my job for me. A hole was cut, and all I had to do was simple. 

Legs shaking, arms that would’ve turned to sticks without their metal supports, I rose to my feet. I gave the helicopter one last acknowledgement of its existence - a rude glare - and pushed through the hole in the fence.

Of course the helicopter would just fly over the fence, but I didn’t need to look at it again. I was outside. I had breached the fence. I had broken away from this place. 

I was free.

Knowing that, hope came back to my body and bones. If I ran fast enough now, I could get out of here - for good.

My lungs quaking in their cage, I gave them permission to have a breath, then I took off again. 

Practically dragging my legs along, I somewhat heaved forward, not as fast as when I just started.

No, no no no! Not now! I couldn’t get tired now!

Even though I was still sprinting over concrete, I was just in view of dirt. I had felt dirt before, but it would be sweeter this time - at least, I hoped it would.

I had worked so hard to get to this point - it had to mean something.

Making one last leap, I jumped at the dirt and felt it squish into my feet. Ten thousand shudders echoed through my entire body, and I knew life. 

The helicopter shot one more thing, but I was already in the running by the time it even hit.

Just ahead, there was a river. It couldn’t be that big, I could jump in and float away. It wouldn’t be that hard.

Oh, but the river was far larger than I thought.

It stretched practically a hallway wide and I couldn’t even fathom the bottom. But it was my only chance. I had to risk it.

I plunged into the water, freezing like ice over my skin. It sunk into my bones and everything else.

The water’s brutality far surpassed anything any guard had done, and it dragged me towards the bottom much to my horror.

I ripped and tore and kicked the water, but it could never be hit, never be broken. It’s sheer unstoppable force smashed waves of fear into me as I was heaved around worthlessly, helpless in it’s currents.

I clawed violently upwards, but to no avail, as the great serpent of the river dragged me down into darkness one last time. “Smack!” I felt my head brutally smash onto something, and it all went black.

Chapter Text

In a deep dream, I saw deep woods the color of the darkest midnight blood, the sky unyielding to peace and shining like blackest eyes. Spiders bursting at the seams with fire crawled, and ravens with sickles sticking deep through their backs cawed, taunting someone that wasn’t me. 

Was I dead? Was the fallacy of mortal Hell truly real?

Might have I been in the so-called Heaven? Or had I finally become what I buried for weeks - a god?

A loud and real sound hit my brain, and I tried to turn and see. But it wasn’t in the dream, for the only sounds here were the drugged and muted caws of skewered birds.

How could I wake up from such a sweet dream?

Much to my irritation, my mortal mind seemed to have other ideas, and wrenched me from my sleep.

I gingerly opened my eyes, and for the first time harsh and unnatural light didn’t shove their fingers into my eyes. No, instead a friendly smiling light came to me, like some angel.

Moving my pounding head, I stared around. My brain bled with new smells, new colors, new feels. The wings of a breeze gracing my freezing face, the pure song of an innocent bird, the taste of water in my mouth.

Speaking of water… my body was half-submerged in the river still, my legs cold and immovable.

Movement caught my eye, and I turned to see something I had never seen before - a very big cat. 

I had seen cats in the books and programs we were given as education, but I hadn’t ever seen one in real life. And now here one was, right within my reach. 

Dappled grey fur covered its body, and the expression lacing it’s face was one of curiosity. It was the truest curiosity I had seen, with the animal’s only desire being to know what I was.

I crawled forward, my hands deep into sand and mud. The creature stepped back a little, but didn’t run away. 

“Come here,” I whispered.

I wonder why it had tufts on its ears. And where was it’s tail? Did it get cut off in a fight?

Snaking forward until my body wasn’t in the water, I made one last reach for it. To my surprise, it growled and bared its teeth - and it had more shiny white fangs than I thought it did.

Frowning and a bit shocked, I drew my hand away.

It took off, leaving me with a bit of sadness. Eh, it was a wild cat. I couldn’t expect too much of it.

Sitting up, I assessed my surroundings. Just as I did that, my head started to pound brutally, as if someone methodically was beating it with a hammer.

I clutched my face in my hands, making sure to not stab myself with the sharp claws still attached. Some had snaps and cracks, but most were intact.

A sweet forest loomed around me, deep and untouched. The river next to me gurgled and whispered secrets I couldn’t hear, seemingly unaware of the pain it had caused me. But at the same time, it dragged me away from the prison. It had saved my life, but could’ve just as easily ended it.

I stood up, my head protesting in childish crankiness. The water that dripped from my legs felt like ice.

Even though calming yellow light filtered through the clouds right now, the sun was already closing in on the horizon. I had got here, but I didn’t really think of what I was going to do next.

I couldn’t cross the river, but maybe I could follow it?

I started to follow it’s dark body across the land, my legs shaking and head pounding. My skeletal legs couldn’t help but trip over themselves with their new form.

I kept to the more solid areas of land and kept walking.

Let’s hope it wouldn’t be long now until I found something, anything.

Chapter Text

How long had I been walking for?

The sky turned to a deep indigo splattered with the most amazing array of twinkling lights - stars, I knew them - that I had seen. They gazed down with such a cold kindness, acknowledging my existence but could never act upon it.

The night’s beauty far outweighed the light of the day.

Shivering in my thin and torn clothing, I kept forward. Sometimes I stepped on things that would snap under my clawed feet, and a smile would crack from my tired face. 

A brief cry made me think that someone or something was nearby, but it only was heard once. Probably just an animal.

Maybe I should try laying down and sleeping? The leaves didn’t seem too bad - well, some of them. Plus, my head had stopped beating and pounding ages ago. 

I started to lay on the ground, the leaves damp and squishy - not in a good way.

Grumpily, I curled up on the ground. Just as my eyes started to heave in on themselves, bits of orange light flickered through. 

Lights were in the distance, not too far from me. They danced and danced, small eyes unintentionally gazing my way.

I leaped up, my bones filled with liquid energy. Haphazardly pushing aside bushes and weeds, I ran to the lights. 

As I approached, I could tell that it was a… fire? But it was held in one spot… right? 

If a fire exists, so do humans.

Humans… oh no…

I knew what I had to do. I didn’t want to do it.

They hadn’t seen me. I had approached them as silently as I could, even through my unintentional metal clanging and crashing through weeds. 

Those humans were so engorged in their happy conversations that they wouldn’t have noticed if I sprinted right at them.

The light of the fire just barely touched my skin as I knelt in a deep patch of grass. They didn’t deserve what I had to do… at least I’d give them time to finish whatever they were doing.

The fire had practically grabbed my face and glued me in. I had never seen fire with my own two eyes before, and it was… majestic. Empowering, entracing, dancing like some crazed beast in a cage.

For the first time since this morning - was it this morning? - my mind dipped into the grey fog. My eyes lost their clearness like gazing through blurred glass, fogged on purpose.

What the humans were saying became just as fuzzy and endless. I could only grab one word once, and was it about… dogs? 

Eventually, after so much indeterminate time passed, someone finally got up and started to walk away. Not towards me, but they were walking away, and that’s what I needed.

Still keeping to the edge just inside the woods, I stalked around and away from the fire and towards the human, making my best attempt to keep silent. It worked, as not even a single head turned. 

I followed the man down where he was walking, a small foot-carved trail. He was still in earshot though - I had to be just a bit more patient…

It came down to a parking lot, dark and only having a couple of bright streetlights. I had to be quiet - and quick. 

The man walked up to a car that must’ve been his and fiddled with his keys. I crept up behind him, but my creaking finally was known. 

He turned to me, and the look in his eyes was all I needed to know. 

He started to yell, make any sound that could ward me off or be heard, but I lept for him. “I’m sorry,” I whispered just as I plunged my claws deep into his chest.

The look of fear and pain in his eyes hurt , and it shouldn’t have. Was I doing the right thing?

Morally… no. No, no, no.

I couldn’t even look at him as he bled out on the ground, and I turned away.

It was so morally wrong, so horrible, but… I had to. I had to become better than human. The only way was by death. Why had the metal come to my body when death abounded otherwise? 

I heard a screech and looked over to see the car creeping towards me. “Oh no.”

I could hold guns, bits of helicopter metal, buttons, knives, you name it. But I was not about to carry around an entire car.

Even my strength - new to me - couldn’t hold that.

I backed up, and the car crawled even closer. “No,” I commanded even though it couldn’t hear me.

I held out my hand, and a side with a headlight jumped at my palm.

Starting to panic, I tried to wrench the car from my hand, but to no avail. Oh shit, this is bad… I thought, worry creeping into my chest.

I was about to try and kick it, but I chose against it at the last minute. If my foot got stuck, I’d be here for god knows how long…

Instead, I took the option that seemed smarter at the time.

Raising my hand, I sliced down through the chunk of headlight with my claws.

It cut through, and I fell over backwards. The headlight left my hand for a brief moment, but the short bit of relief was cut off immediately.

An explosion of screaming pain flooded my left eye, it burning like the Devil himself spit on it. Stricken blind, I crawled. Metal creaked and scraped as I dragged myself, my face ripped into a hissing scream. 

Oh god, the pain…

The pain was so bright and horrible.

What the hell was in my face?

My breaths shaking through sobs, I gingerly reached my fingertips to my face, the cold chill of metal spreading into them. I tapped on it ever so lightly, it making a somewhat hollow sound.

Did the car headlight  get on my face - no, it did get into my face. 

My body shuddered and my mouth cried, why did it have to hurt so much? Stupid mortality. Stupid everything.

I tried to open both eyes, but only one budged - it was better than nothing.

Get out of here, I hissed at myself. Someone will come. You’ll go back to that prison.

No no no, it hurt too much. I couldn’t. 

Do it, I hissed at myself, but it hardly felt like my voice. 

I tilted myself up and over, so at the very least I was sitting down. It didn’t ebb the pain, it sure didn’t. But at least I was doing something…

Everything shook like a baby animal left for dead in the middle of winter. I rocked myself, I stared into space, I talked. Nothing worked, my body still quaked.

The sound of something coming finally put the fear of humankind in my head once again, and I crawled to my feet. The foundation of my legs barely holding on, I numbly and mindlessly walked away, towards the road, across to the trees.

Chapter Text

I think I passed out somewhere in the woods. The roads were behind me, the lights, the humans. But I got rest, and that mattered the most.

I woke to the dawn, the fresh dawn of day. No dreams, no bright lights, just sweet pinks and blues and the smell of the true world around me.

Trees took the light of the sun in their leaves, the birds flew over my head in unconcerned patterns. Why had the jailers kept us from this? Why couldn’t we be free? Why couldn’t we be ourselves…

I must’ve passed out once more, as I woke to the sun just grazing the midday sky. Sitting up, everything felt good and normal again. As normal as it could get. 

My eye couldn’t see still, but the skin around it no longer burned and screamed under the pressure of the headlight. It still hurt, of course, but only if I pushed at it.

As I was making sure everything was in the right place, all in order, a creeping human pain gripped my midsection.

Hunger.

Ughhhhh…

I got up, no shaking and timbering this time. All around the forest, trees and leaves swayed in chill breezes, but there couldn’t be any food. Well, that was a lie; you could eat anything if you really wanted to.

I walked towards the road, but realized that might not be a good decision. People weren’t ready for me. They weren’t ready for things beyond them and their control.

Aghhhhhh… why did I have to suffer such human things?

Oh well. I could put it off for some time.

Despite the fact that I told myself it couldn’t have been a good idea, I plodded over to the edge of the road. There weren’t any cars, and as long as I hugged to the trees, it would be fine - maybe.

Now where would I find food? We were given all of our food at the prison… but I guess a part of freedom is getting your own.

Maybe I could… rob someone - not of their life this time.

I laughed to no one but myself. Oh, I’m already becoming more of a criminal than I already am.

A loud sound of whirring behind threw me into panic mode - I knew that damn sound.

I ran over to a tree with low-hanging branches and crawled into hiding.

Oh god, I pray it wasn’t the jailers.

Peeking through some slightly open leaves, a black whirr flew by. It’s them , I thought in panic, gripping the tree, leaving deep scratches. 

I held myself in a complete and utter stillness. Not a sound. Barely a breath. Maybe if I tried hard enough, I could even shut down my own heartbeat.

The sound of evil whirring seemed to last forever, endless mindless screaming from the sky. They were searching for me. They’d kill me - or worse, take me from this beautiful world.

When certainty filled every inch of my body that the helicopter had passed, I gently crawled down from the tree, bits of bark flying off towards the ground. 

Maybe I needed to move faster? But I’d have to do it all on foot…

Ack. I hated being in a human body.

Chapter Text

Finally, with courage in the forefront of my mind, I had managed to walk all the way to some park. No sounds of humans in simple joy filled it. The sky was darkening - how long has it been? Or were those just clouds?

They were just clouds. The sky was clouding over. I smiled, for that was a pleasant sight.

“Hehehe,” I chuckled.

Over on a bench, sitting on a table, some snacks and food lay, free of any consequences for taking.

I went over to them, and picked up some barely-eaten food. “What kind of monster would do this?” I asked to myself.

There was hardly a scratch and mark on it, pure and pristine. Almost uneaten, fresh out of the package. If they didn’t eat it, then I would.

I sat down on the bench and ate the refuse food, watching birds mindlessly, letting my mind dip once more into the fog. 

Little did I know it, but that would be the very last time that I had to feel the fog.

It was dark by the time I finished eating, and the sky didn’t show its bright stars tonight. The light of the moon was obstructed by the clouds, instead giving them her glow. Relief, calm, peace filled my body. Humans, so rarely seeing the smallest beauties in the world.

At least I’m here to appreciate them.

A chill crept in, and I knew I had to move on. 

I got up, wondering what I was even going to do next. Do I run? Do I hide? Do I keep walking until all of the bits of metal fall off of my mortal flesh?

I probably needed more metal.

But now, by this time, I didn’t feel shame nor guilt about it. No bugs creeping into my stomach, no dizzying headaches.

This act meant my survival now. I had to do it.

I went back to the darkened road, loitering right in the middle of it. Someone would come. They had to. Not much longer now, right? 

The lateness of the hour wouldn’t matter. People were always up late.

I knelt and grazed the road with my claws, a satisfying scratch emanating from the dark path. 

My life moved to its own beat, a beat that no jailer could contain - a beat that was perfect.

Maybe I should move further down? Maybe it would help.

Alas, my questions were graced with answers.

A sound of gentle humming made my heart race. I brutally drowned a smile, keeping my face dead like it was molded the entire time I was in the prison.

Lights galloped over the turn, scouring every inch they touched. As they set their gaze upon me, I raised my hand to my face.

Just a little bit more of driving and the car must’ve slammed to a stop. Nothing more, nothing less. No more sounds. 

Lowering my hand from my face, the dark glass of the car windshield still couldn’t cover up the gaze of confusion and fear the person had.

I felt so empowered. The feeling was just like back in the lab of the prison, when they gave me that shot. It was… emotion.

Oh, there was no reason to feel bad for what my existence required.

I smiled and twitched my claws.

Chapter Text

I sat just outside the car, wiping the blood off of my claws on the ground. Metal covered my forearms, the skin of my legs practically invisible under all the steel.

I grinned. This had finally put a  real smile on my face, a raging but beautiful fire in my stomach. I needed to do this far more often.

Loud rumbling turned my head, and another car came into view. Oh, good. Another notch on my arm , I thought.

I got to my feet, but my eye caught the all-too-large symbol on the side of the car and that put the fear of God in my soul.

The Jailers had found me - I didn’t know how, but that didn’t matter.

I took a brief glance around. Oh no . They were everywhere. I didn’t notice. How could I be that stupid?

They would never take me again though, I knew that much. 

Through death or destruction, I’d make sure I never went back to that whitewalled hell.

“ SCP-7381-M, stand down or you will be terminated ,” a speaker boomed.

I couldn’t get close enough to rip the guns from their hands, and the uneven ring of trigger-happy guards surrounding me prevented escape. 

It burned so much, the mere thought of what I had to do next.

Just for a short time , I assured myself.

I lowered myself to the ground in defeat.

Someone said something, someone signaled someone. Just for a short time , I comforted myself.

A small object whizzed towards me like a tiny fly, but it swerved and hit something beyond the woods.

A man fell. One more…

“ SCP-7381-M, do not resist, or you will be terminated ,” I was told one more time.

Another small shot flew towards me, a tranquilizer of sorts - of course they’d use one, they’d want me alive for some godforsaken reason - and it turned right back around. It returned to it’s shooter, and they fell. Stupid stupid stupid, humans are pathetic , I commented to myself.

I lunged forward to the Jailer’s car, jumping up to it in just two bounds. In another two, I was on and off the car, and back on the road. Bullets whizzed by, one just grazing the sheet metal that covered my legs and arms.

Weaving back and forth, I ran off down the road, and the vibration of the car starting gave me just one more reason to run. 

A screeching pain smacked me in the shoulder, halting me to a stop and thrusting my side viciously forward. I turned - more than I normally would’ve had to, my headlight eye not doing any favors - and blood stained the green shirt I wore. 

They shot me , my mind hissed. And it had hurt far worse than I would’ve thought.

Clutching my shoulder, I raced - to the best of my now-damaged ability - into the woods. Can’t drive a car past a horde of trees without something stopping you once or twice, right?

I shakily sprinted as deeply as I could into the woods. The night was dark - but it slowly became lighter. Had dawn already come like a gentle bird on sweet wings?

A clearing that would’ve been peaceful if I weren’t being hunted like some deranged boar came into view, and I stepped into it.

A ring of trees surrounded me. A beautiful place. The dark night, still covered in clouds, loomed over my head.

In contrast to the beauty of the land, rage and anger had filled my soul. Oh, if only my mind were a real place. This sweet clearing would have become a twisted burning forest in my mind and heart.

Still, I looked down, and the grass poked up curiously between my clawed toes. Oh, you’ve changed so much , I remarked to myself. 

So much change. So little time to appreciate it.

All because of those Jailor bastards. Oh, I didn’t care how this ended now. All that mattered stood in such conflict of what humans wanted. 

Still in a limp, still clutching my shoulder, I made my way through the clearing and through to the other side

So close to the other trees I could practically taste them - suddenly, a loud sound close behind made me stop for a brief moment. 

All that mattered to me could be summed up in two words: True Freedom.

And by death or destruction, I’d see the resolution to this conundrum. I’d feel true freedom, whether from my own hand or the hands of others.

There would be no more yelling. There would be no more fear. 

Maybe I would become fear itself. Now that would be true freedom .

They were coming for me, but at this point, I was just as much coming for them. 

Standing numb, I faced the trees. They were coming. I could hear them on all sides. I took a few steps forward, right into the forest I had worked so hard to cross to. I leaned back ever so slightly, seeing the stars. I profusely tried to deny it, but in my machine heart I knew this was the last time I’d ever see them.

Guns clicked, leaves rustled and broke under boots. The faint buzzing of a radio. They had surrounded me.

I couldn’t escape, but I didn’t need to anyway.

The Jailers were as subhuman as it comes, and me?

I’m secondhand divinity.

Turning and lunging at a guard, swiping away his pathetic humanity with one fell swoop, the one action convinced the others to make up their minds.

Deafening bangs told me all I needed to know, even before the pain hit.

With the sky ominous, the trees dark like threatening spears over my head, I fell.

Chapter Text

If I hadn’t been in Hell before then, I surely must be there now. Darkness surrounded my every glance, my every gaze. I lay on the ground, my eyes searching for something, anything. I waved my hand - somehow lighter than before - in front of my face, and a bloody limb with only bits of metal still remaining showed. What had happened? Was I dead? Was I still alive? 

I really was in Hell, wasn’t I?

I tried to rise to my feet, but my legs gave out underneath themselves. Excruciating pain exploded through my joints and hips, making me see nothing fit except to curl up in a ball and stare out helplessly.

Maybe… I wasn’t right after all. What if I had done everything wrong? What if I really wasn’t a divine creature as once so thought? Had I lied to myself? Tricked myself into believing a falsehood? Had it all been a lie all along?

Those mere thoughts horrified me. The thought that I was frail and pathetic and human made my blood boil. I couldn’t be. Not after everything that’s happened.

I sat up, gently and slowly easing myself through each zap and grip of pain that went through my body. My legs were next to mutilated, most of the metal that once made a magnificent exoskeleton gone. Just a bare layer, enough to keep myself covered at sensitive parts, remained.

What if I was awaiting a final trial? In my machine heart, I already knew I would fail any test of “holy” judgement passed upon me.

Suddenly, an explosion above my head startled me. I turned and gazed to the sky only to see fiery molten cracks appear above my head. Something - or someone - was descending from the blackened sky.

I turned to face whatever it was, knowing I couldn’t escape now. Whatever it was would judge me in its own time.

Alarmingly quick, it descended, and I began to make out that it was a collection of spider-like claws and limbs, blood red and gleaming with the fiery glow from the above cracks. A demon? My mind immediately jumped to the conclusion.

I stared without emotion. Don’t show anything, don’t let it know anything…

“Aesha,” a voice that could only be described as about as ancient as the wind and as alien as outer space spoke.

I said nothing, feeling paralyzed.

“You have done well,” it hissed.

I’m not being punished , I sighed in relief, mentally.

“Now…”

I finally summed up the words in my chest and in my heart. “What now?”

“It… is your turn…”

Turn for what?

“... To inflict the pain you’ve felt unto these… filthy… humans ,” it hissed, snarling the last word.

I could barely stop myself from grinning. A reward for seeing the truth , I whispered to myself in my mind.

“Serve… unto me… and I will let you… ascend… in ways you cannot even imagine,” it whispered.

“What do you want of me?” I asked.

The collection of spider limbs showed no emotion, but I could practically sense the pleasure in this creature.

“Wander… and find the humans… destroy them… sacrifice them… for me ,” it instructed.

Oh, how easy that was. How simple.

I could do that for the rest of my life and not feel a single pang of regret.

“Yes, I can do that,” I agreed, anticipation not beginning to describe the eagerness in my voice.

“Good…” the creature purred. “You will be… greatly rewarded. But first, let me give you the first gift.”

A few cracks shot through my legs and hips, briefly twisting my body. Tiny shocks of sparkly pain filled every inch of myself for a quick moment, before leaving me in a euphoric sense of healing.

“Now… go… and serve me well,” it said, and I felt the world suddenly give out from underneath me.

The blackness crumbled around me, taking the strange spider creature with it.

Just as I looked down, I hit the ground, taking no damage and feeling only the simple impact of laying down on grass-covered dirt.

I turned to face the sky, only to find it the darkest I’ve ever seen a sky. Not a single star flickered its bright eyes at me.

It should’ve been dark and haunting, terrifying even, but I felt at home. I felt true freedom. Even under the servitude of a being that was most definitely beyond my comprehension, I still felt free.

A single caw rang out over my head, and I looked up to see a raven perched in a tree. It gazed down at me, and I smiled back.

I arose to my feet, with there being no pain at all.

I had done it. I was free. I was alive. Now, it was time to make up the favor to this strange entity that had saved my life.

I am beyond human. I am beyond mortality. I am a machine.

And machines don’t need feelings. They need only to follow their instructions. But now I’m the only one who gives my machine heart and soul instructions. 

And I say it’s time I slaughter these wretched humans.