Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Behind that long and lonely trenched line 

To which men come and go, where brave men die, 

There is a yet unmarked and unknown shrine, 

A broken plot, a soldier’s cemetery. 

There lie the flower of youth, the men who scorn’d

To live (so died) when languished Liberty:

Across their graves flowerless and unadorned

Still scream the shells of each artillery.

—“A Soldier’s Cemetery” by John William Streets

Steve had almost fallen asleep when a shrill cry pulled him from his bed. He stumbled in the dark and stubbed his toe on the crib. “Dammit! Ow!”

Peggy’s big brown eyes were filled with tears. Her lip trembled. 

“Hey, baby girl,” Steve crooned. He lifted her out of the crib. 

Peggy laid her head against his chest. 

“We’ve talked about this, Pegs.” Steve sighed. 

He’d worked all day and well into the night. He’d walked home with a fussy baby. Once they were home, he’d looked through his empty fridge and his empty pantry until he found something he could whip up for dinner.  

Peggy got most of their meager meal. After all, she was a growing baby. 

Steve’s next battle was getting Peggy into the bath. She hated bath time. They’d both ended up soaked and sobbing. 

Finally, Steve had wrangled her into her night-owl onesie. He spent the next hour rocking her, singing to her, telling her stories until her eyes drooped close. Peggy was usually an easy baby unless it came to bath time or nap time. Once she was settled, he’d spent the next few hours washing dishes, doing laundry, and tidying up their apartment. He was dead on his feet by the time he finally fell on top of his bed. Cue, Peggy. 

Steve blinked back tears of exhaustion. 

The clock blinked back at him, 5:30 a.m. 

“Breakfast?” Steve asked. He needed to go grocery shopping tonight. 

But at least there was coffee and apple sauce. 

Steve sipped his coffee hoping that the caffeine would keep him going the rest of the day. 

Peggy was already covered in apple sauce. She giggled as she smushed some on his face. 

“C’mon, let’s get you cleaned up,” Steve said. He picked her up. 

Peggy whined. 

“I know, doll. But you’re covered in apple sauce. Sides, we can’t go to work in our PJs.”

The walk to the Stark Tower usually wasn’t that bad. But today, they were running late and low on sleep. 

Steve clocked in and headed towards the elevator. 

“Good morning, Mr. Rogers,” J.A.R.V.I.S.’s voice called out. 

“Morning, Jar,” Steve replied. 

The elevator doors dinged open. 

“Stevie, my boy!” Howard greeted excitedly. 

“How’s my favorite patient?” Steve asked. 

Howard waved him over. His hair was askew, his glasses were hanging off of his face, and his face was covered in soot. “Excellent!”

Steve chuckled. “Experiment go well?”

“Well, not exactly,” Howard admitted. 

“Have you had breakfast?” Steve asked. 

Howard paused. He was brilliant, but he often forgot the simplest things. 

“I’ll whip something up,” Steve said. 

“Make something for yourself,” Howard ordered. He made a silly face at Peggy. “I’ll take the little miss.” After all, he was the closest thing Peggy had to a grandparent. 

Steve started on breakfast listening as Howard hummed an old thirties song. 

The elevator dinged and the air soured with the scent of smoke and oil. 

Steve sighed. This was the worst part about this job: specifically, Tony Stark. 

Tony glared at his father. “I pay this guy to babysit you.”

Howard sighed. “Steven does an excellent job.”

“And yet, you’re the one doing the babysitting,” Tony drawled. 

“Good morning, Mr. Stark,” Steve said quietly. 

Tony huffed. “At least there’s breakfast.”

Steve’s stomach clenched as Tony took the plate that he’d made for himself. 

Howard handed Peggy back. Sadness marred his normally jovial features. 

“It’d do you well to remember that the only reason you still have a job is that dear old Dad won’t let me fire you.” Tony smirked. 

Steve knew that better than most. 

Howard frowned. “Steve’s the only nurse who can handle me.”

Tony scoffed. 

“A-Are they really shutting down Shield?” Steve asked. He immediately wished that he hadn’t said anything. 

Tony glared at him. “Not that it's any of your business—”

“It is his business,” Howard snapped. “He named his daughter after your mother.”

“And that makes him family,” Tony said sarcastically. 

“You know very well what makes him family!” Howard growled. 

Tony growled. He dropped the last of Steve’s breakfast into the trash and stormed out of Howard’s suite.

Howard sighed. He handed Steve a piece of toast. 

“That’s for you—” Steve tried. 

Howard shook his head.

Steve couldn’t help it. He was starving! 

“I don’t know where I went wrong with him,” Howard said. “But I’m sorry that you’ve paid the price.”

“It’s better this way,” Steve insisted because it was. 

Tony had been a colossal mistake, but that mistake had left him with the best thing in his life. 

“You look dead on your feet,” Howard said. “Little Miss, and me’ll watch a movie.”

Steve shook his head. “It’s my job—”

“Get some sleep,” Howard said softly. 

Steve woke slightly refreshed to the smell of pizza. 

Howard grinned at him. “Grab a slice.”

“You really shouldn’t have,” Steve said. 

“You won’t let me take care of you any other way,” Howard said. 

“We don’t need charity,” Steve insisted. He was doing just fine on his own. 

Howard sighed. “It ain’t charity when it’s for family.”

“I can’t,” Steve whispered. “I can’t give him a way in.”

“Steve—”

“No, I can’t risk it.” Steve looked at Peggy. She was gumming on some watermelon, perfectly unaware. 

Tony had been adamant that he didn’t want to be a part of Peggy’s life, but if he ever changed his mind, the courts would always side with him. 

Steve was an unmated Omega whose health was consistently failing. Because of his health, had trouble holding down a job. His apartment was practically a shoebox. It didn’t matter that he was doing his best for Peggy, that he loved her more than anything. If Tony Stark wanted her, Steve didn't stand a chance... 

Tony was an Avenger. He was a billionaire. He owned an entire tower. The only thing going against him was that he refused to acknowledge Peggy as his own. 

Howard squeezed his shoulder. “Just don’t forget to take care of yourself.”

Steve’s smile was crooked. He’d been taking care of himself since his mother died. 

The next few hours were spent trying to clean up after Howard's explosions. 

Feet aching, Steve headed towards his next job. 

The VA didn’t pay much, but they were always understaffed. 

“Afternoon, Sam.” Steve waved at his only friend. 

“Heya, Stevie.” Sam ruffled his blond hair. “The Howlies are waiting for ya.”

“Please, tell me they haven’t had coffee—”

“And donuts.” Sam grinned. 

Steve groaned. He could hear their singing from the lobby! 

The Howlies were a hoot, but they were decidedly nuttier when they had sugar and caffeine. 

Falsworth, Dum Dum, Frenchie, Happy, Pinky, and Jim were singing at the tops of their lungs. “Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run. Bang, bang, bang, bang goes the farmer’s gun. Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run, run. Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run. Don’t give the farmer his fun, fun, fun. He’ll get by without his rabbit pie. So run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run.”

Steve couldn’t help but laugh. 

“There’s our captain!” Falsworth saluted Steve. 

“There’s my band of merry brothers.” Steve saluted him back. “I hear someone made the mistake of giving you old geezers sugar and caffeine.”

Dum Dum laughed. “Nah, we brought our own!” 

“Let me see that bébé!” Frenchie demanded. 

Peggy giggled. She loved her crazy uncles. 

At Sam’s suggestion, Steve started bringing Peggy to work. 

The veterans adored her. 

“Ok, let’s get started,” Steve said. “How’re we doing?”

“I’ll start, boss," Dum Dum said. “You know how long it’s been since I’ve seen my kids?”

The mirth slowly died down. 

The Howlies had fought for their country, but their country had forgotten their sacrifice. 

“How long?” Steve asked. He hated this part of his job. He'd give anything to see his ma again. 

“Not since two Christmas’s,” Dum Dum said. “They keep saying they can’t afford the tickets, but I finally got that Initgram thing. They posted pictures of their trip to Hawaii.”

“Damn, youngins," Falsworth growled. “My girl won’t leave me with the grandkids. Says I’m too old to watch after em.”

Happy sighed. “I-I had a dream last night.”

They all waited. 

“Saw Sarge,” Happy whispered. “Clear as day.”

The Howlies bowed their heads. 

Their unit had been captured by Hydra. They had been tortured and starved. And they’d only survived because of one man’s bravery. 

Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes had single-handedly launched an escape that had destroyed Hydra's base and turned the course of the war. 

But the Howlies remembered him as their sarge who had sacrificed his life for theirs. 

“I know it’s hard,” Steve said softly. “You lived through an experience that no one else can understand. You didn't come back whole, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t matter.”

Dum Dum forced a smile. 

“I want you to try to reach out to your families. Even if it’s just on Instagram,” Steve said. “I know that it hasn’t worked in the past, but you can’t give up on family.”

“Guess, we’ll try, Cap,” Falsworth said. 

“I also want you to do something for yourselves. I don’t care what it is, even if it's drinking a pot of coffee or a box of donuts.”

The Howlies chuckled. 

“Report back to me on how it goes.” Steve smiled. He loved looking after Howard, but the Howlies were some of the best men he knew. 

Walking back to his apartment, Steve squinted. 

The streets felt darker than usual. 

Peggy was fussy. She was building up to a full-blown meltdown. 

Steve shifted her in his arms. “I know, doll. But we gotta get groceries.”

This market was one of the few places open this late. It was dingy, and most of the food was stale, but at least it was cheap. Steve grabbed rice, coffee, bread, apple sauce, and some more baby soap. He hadn't gotten his paycheck yet, so he breathed a sigh of relief when his card was approved. 

The lights flickered as he walked back outside. Steve shivered. He hated walking home this late. He’d almost made it when he heard a scuffle in the alley. He’d spent enough time getting beat on to recognize a fight. Well, not really a fight. A gang of kids was kicking on a homeless man. 

“Hey, leave him alone!” Steve growled. 

The kids turned on him with twisted smiles. 

Steve gulped. He really needed to learn to stay out of trouble. 

One of the bigger ones shoved him hard and grabbed his bag of groceries. 

Peggy started screaming.

Before they could do worse, the homeless man moved like a demon. Suddenly, he stood between Steve and his attackers. 

Thankfully, like most bullies, the kids were cowards once someone stood up to em.

Steve wondered why he hadn’t stood up for himself. “Y-You alright?” 

The man turned to look at him. "You shouldn’t have interfered.”

“I couldn’t turn a blind eye,” Steve said. “I-It was the right thing to do.”

“Thanks,” the man quipped. "Though you wouldn’t have been much help.”

“I’m tougher than I look,” Steve said. 

The homeless man chuckled. “Sure, kid.” He held out his hand.

Steve gripped his hand and was pulled to his feet. Digging through his pockets, he found a few bucks. “It’s not much, but you could get yourself a hot meal.”

“You’ve helped me enough.” The man tried to give it back. 

Steve squeezed his hand. “Take the help when you can get it.”

“T-Thank you,” he whispered as if he’d not known kindness for a very long time. 

“Least I can do,” Steve said. He wished he could do more.

The Asset watched as the Omega trudged back to his apartment. He’d noticed him before, but he’d never imagined that the slip of a thing would try to defend him. 

The Omega had gotten into a fight he couldn't win. He'd given what little he had... Why?

The Asset was used to cruelty. He didn’t know what to do with kindness. 

The alley was dark and cold. But nothing was as dark as the cell Hydra had kept him in. Nothing was as cold as being frozen alive. Shivering, he watched as the Omega’s apartment blinked awake. He couldn’t help but wonder if he could repay the Omega somehow. He wouldn’t know where to begin. 

***

Follow me on Facebook: Facebook.

Follow me on TikTok: freddiegene (@freddiegene) | TikTok.

Check out my website and blog: Freddie Gene (godaddysites.com). 

Follow me on Tumblr: @greekgeek24 on Tumblr or @freddiegene on Tumblr.

Follow me on Instagram: Freddie Gene (@bookswithfreddie) • Instagram photos and videos. 

Chapter Text

“How can I teach her some way of being human that won’t destroy her?” —Margaret Atwood

Steve stared at the bruises painted across his body. The worst of it was across his chest and back. He’d always bruised easily so he wasn't really surprised. He knew better than to pick a fight, but he couldn’t just walk away when someone needed help. 

Homelessness was a common issue with returning veterans. It was something Steve had seen too many times. So, he couldn’t help but notice how quickly the Alpha had responded when he protected Steve. 

But why didn’t he protect himself?

Steve sighed. It was almost five in the morning, and he’d spent most of the night thinking about the Alpha on the streets.

Peggy started crying. 

Steve flipped on the lights and walked over to his daughter. “Morning, baby girl.”

Peggy made grabby hands. 

Steve picked her up and paused for just a moment. He inhaled her sweet baby scent. She smelled like lilacs and smoke. 

His mother’s scent had been lilacs. 

Tony’s scent was tobacco and smoke. 

Steve pulled himself from memories associated with smell. Placing Peggy in her high chair, he tried to find something for breakfast. “Guess we’ll need to get groceries again. Dammit!” Steve didn’t get paid till the end of the week, and he couldn’t afford anything else—

Someone knocked on the door. 

Frowning, Steve wasn’t expecting anyone. When he opened his door, he didn’t see anyone but a bag of groceries was sitting on his welcome mat. Steve looked to see if he could see who had left them, but he only found the lingering scent of pine and snow.

The Asset shivered. It did not like the cold. It did not have much of a choice.

Someone cleared his throat. 

The Asset blinked not certain if the Omega were really standing before him or not. 

“G-Good morning,” the Omega stuttered. 

“Morning,” the Asset echoed. 

The Omega thrust a thermos at him. “I uh brought you some tea.”

The Asset took it. 

“It’s uh thank-you tea,” the Omega explained. “For the groceries.”

The Asset nodded. 

“I uh work at the VA,” the Omega said. “I’ve worked with a lot of veterans, and I know it’s hard to ask for help. But you’re welcome even if you don’t want to talk. There’s always coffee and food.”

The Asset wasn’t sure how to respond. 

This was probably the longest conversation he’d had. 

“Well, I gotta get to work,” the Omega said 

The Asset watched as the Omega walked away. He couldn’t help but think that the Omega looked incredibly vulnerable. The Omega needed someone watching his back. The Asset could provide that. He had nothing better to do so he followed the Omega. 

Steve was wheezing by the time he reached the lobby of the Stark Tower. He’d barely taken a step into the tower when he ran into the hardest chest imaginable. He would have fallen if muscular arms had not enveloped around him. 

“Easy there,” a uniquely accented voice murmured. 

Steve blinked. “T-Thor?”

The god of thunder grinned. “Are you well, Omega?” 

“J-Just dandy,” Steve squeaked out. He pulled away quite not believing what had just happened. Trying not to freak out, he stepped onto the elevator.

Thor followed. “Where are we going?”

“W-Work,” Steve squeaked out. 

“Good morning, Mr. Rogers. Good morning, Sparky Sparky Boom Man,” Jarvis’ voice trilled out.

Laughing a bit hysterically, Steve wondered if his face could turn any redder. 

“You are son of Rogers?” Thor asked.

“Steve,” Steve corrected. 

“What is our quest?” Thor asked. “It appeared urgent.”

“I work for Mr. Stark,” Steve explained.

“Ah, yes, I know Tony!” Thor exclaimed. 

“No, I mean I work for Howard Stark.” Steve almost wondered if Jarvis were making the elevator move slower. 

“There is another Stark?” Thor asked. 

Steve nodded. “Yeah, Howard is Tony’s dad.”

“This is wonderful!” Thor exclaimed. “I have finally met a Midgardian Omega, and I am about to meet a Midgardian father!”

Finally, the elevator dinged. 

Steve felt frazzled as he looked up to see Tony and Howard glaring at each other. It was very obvious that they had been arguing… 

“M-Morning,” Steve said quietly. 

Howard’s smile was strained.

“You’re late,” Tony snapped. 

“Most likely that is my fault,” Thor said smiling at Steve. 

Tony forced a charming smile upon his face. “And what brings you here?”

“Curiosity, my friend. I am to observe how Midgardians live that includes familial bonds.” Thor saw more than he was letting on. 

“I’ll get breakfast started,” Steve said. 

Howard took Peggy without a word. 

Frowning, Steve slipped into the kitchen. He couldn’t help but worry about what they’d been arguing about. Was it about Peggy? Had Tony changed his mind? Hands shaking, Steve tried to focus on making breakfast. He breathed deeply for some reason focusing on the scent of pine and snow… By the time he’d finished making pancakes and eggs, everything seemed normal. Or at least, Steve felt more grounded. 

Howard handed Peggy back. 

“I’ve not seen a pup so small!” Thor announced with a mouth full of pancake. “In Asgard, they are much bigger!”

“S-She was premature,” Steve explained. He didn’t mention how his declining health had affected her. All of his doctors had advised him to abort, but Steve could never… He’d been miserably sick for the entire pregnancy, but he’d never been alone.

“Have you had syrup yet?” Howard asked trying to change the subject.

Thor nodded. “We have a similar substance on Asgard, but it is alcoholic.”

“Alcoholic syrup.” Tony grinned. “I’d drink to that!”

“Why are you not eating son of Rogers?” Thor asked. “You are much too thin for an Omega.” 

Steve shook his head. “I already had breakfast.” For once, it was the truth. He’d had the most filling breakfast he’d had in weeks. The groceries that the Alpha had left had been more than he would have ever bought for himself. 

“At least, some eggs sons of chicken,” Thor insisted. 

Swallowing thickly, Steve sat across from Tony. He forced himself to eat a few bites, but Peggy started to squirm.

She opened her mouth like a baby bird. 

Steve offered her some.

Peggy’s eyes lit up in delight. 

Steve made a mental note to get eggs when he got his paycheck.

“Have we found the frost warrior?” Thor asked. 

“No,” Tony growled. “He’s the one who trained Nat, and we’d never find her if she wanted to disappear.”

“Clint says his mind was controlled?” Thor continued. “It sounds similar to how Loki controlled him.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Tony growled. His scent burning in anger.

Steve bit his lip hard.

Peggy started crying.

“It does matter!” Howard yelled. 

Tony threw his plate at the wall. “Tell that to mom!”

Broken glass. 

Steve trembled, shaking like a leaf.

“He’s not mine!” Joseph roared. “No son of mine’s a useless Omega!”

“How dare you!” Sarah growled. “Am I any less for being an Omega?”

Joseph laughed darkly. “Yes, your only worth was your ability to provide pups. And look what you provided!”

Stevie whimpered. He could feel it: his father’s hatred and his mother’s love.

Sarah cried out as Joseph hit her.

Joseph kicked her and grabbed Steve’s baby doll. He threw it against the wall. 

Broken glass. 

He picked up Steve and threw him against the wall.

Steve heard the cracking of already broken glass. He felt hundreds of small shards digging into his body. 

Sarah covered his body with her own as Joseph hit her and kicked her over and and over again.

“Excuse me.” Steve winced at how loud the chair was as it dragged against the floor. He stood on unsteady feet, but Peggy’s familiar weight centered him. The short distance between the dining room and the powder room had him wheezing. Locking himself in the bathroom, he tried to put himself back together. Sometimes, Steve wondered if he was cursed; he’d fallen for an Alpha just like his father… 

Peggy was whining. She could feel his distress, but she didn’t know what was wrong.

Steve took a deep breath. “I-It’s ok. Oma’s ok.”

Peggy nuzzled against him trying to scent him and comfort him. Steve rocked back and forth humming a lullaby that Sarah used to sing for him. It always made him feel better, but the truth was Steve hadn’t felt right for years.

Nonetheless, he couldn’t hide, not even from memories. Exiting the bathroom, he found, Thor and Tony had already left.

Howard was cleaning up the glass.

“I can do that,” Steve said.

Howard shook his head. “No need, I’m done.”

“What’s wrong?” Steve asked. He’d known Howard long enough to tell when something was wrong. 

Howard sighed. “You know my wife died.”

Steve nodded. He’d never met Peggy Carter, but he’d known the ones she left behind. “It was a car crash.”

Howard shook his head. He blinked back tears. “No, it wasn’t. I-It wasn’t an accident.”

“Howard—”

“No, they killed her!” Howard sobbed. “He killed her!”

Steve managed to get Howard back to bed. For once, his eccentric patient, his goofy friend, did not have the heart to tinker away or play with his grandchild. Steve didn’t blame him. He knew grief as a dear old friend. She was his constant companion. 

Steve felt heavy as he walked to the VA. He just wanted to go home and make a nest…

“What’s wrong with you?” Sam asked.

“Rough day,” Steve managed. 

Sam frowned. He was about to say something when the door opened.

The Alpha from the alley walked in. He looked at Steve worriedly.

Steve smiled sadly. “You came.”

He nodded.

“Sam, this is uh, what’s your name?” Steve asked. 

“James,” the Asset replied. 

“I’m Steve, and this is Sam,” Steve said.

Sam held out his hand. “Nice to meet you. You’ll be with my group.”

James looked back at Steve.

“That’s right. I deal with a specialized group but don’t worry; Sam’s better than I am.” Steve grinned halfheartedly. Walking towards the Howlies, Steve hoped that James got the help he needed. The Howlies were fencing with their canes when Steve walked in. They fell short when they smelled the lingering distress in Steve’s scent.

“You alright, Cap?” Dum Dum asked.

Steve shrugged. “Not really.”

They moved the chairs into a circle.

Steve sighed. “It’s been a while since I’ve had an episode. I know recovery’s not a straight line, but damn, I thought I was finally done.”

Falsworth patted his back. “We’re never done.” 

Steve nodded. “How bout you guys?”

“Started smoking again,” Gabe sighed. “I just missed the smell.”

“Remember lucky cigarettes?” Jim asked. “I lost all my rations to Sarge!”

Dum Dum chuckled. “So, did I! The bastard bet me he couldn’t make the shot, but he’d hit it every time!”

Steve smiled. “Made any progress on our homework?”

“I called my granddaughter,” Falsworth said. “Wished her happy birthday.”

“I made a bean sandwich,” Gabe said. “Bout the only thing I ate during the depression. Swore I’d never eat one again, but I miss it sometimes.”

Steve smiled. “That’s really good.”

“How bout you, Cap?” Dum Dum asked. “You reach out to your family? Or do something for you?”

“I don’t have any family left,” Steve said. “I did manage to get groceries yesterday.”

The Howlies frowned. 

“You ever do anything just for you?” Jim asked. 

“Sometimes I draw,” Steve admitted. 

Falsworh grinned. “Can you draw something for us?”

“Sure,” Steve said with a tired smile. “I want you to do this too. Not draw I mean but give yourself a day where you take care of yourself. Sometimes, we’re so busy trying to take care of everyone else that we forget that we have needs to.”

Steve was about dead on his feet when he met up with Sam after their sessions had ended.

“Where’d you find that Alpha?” Sam asked, startling him. 

“He’s been living in the alley across my street. Had that look about him,” Steve explained. “Why did it go well?”

“Hard to say. He didn’t really say anything.” Sam sighed. “I’ll make some calls to see if I can find a job for him or something.” 

Steve yawned. “I wish we could do more.”

“Me too.” Sam’s brow creased in worry. “How are you doing, really?”

“Honestly, I feel like shit.” Steve shifted Peggy, trying to find a more comfortable position.

“You coming down with something?” Sam asked. 

“Maybe,” Steve admitted. 

Sam squeezed his shoulder. “You ask for help this time. And not when you’ve been hospitalized!”

“That was one time,” Steve mumbled. 

“Try five times,” Sam corrected. 

Steve was almost a block from his apartment when he had to stop. He sat on a bench, taking deep breaths. The sun was going down, casting dark shadows across the city. He needed to get home. He was just out of energy—

“Steve?” James asked. 

“H-Hey,” Steve said tiredly. “M’jus resting.”

The Asset frowned at the Omega, who had fallen asleep on a bench. Hesitantly, the Asset shook him. 

The Omega jerked away. “Jamie?”

“C’mon, let’s get you home.” The Asset picked up the pup with his flesh arm and helped the Omega up with his metal arm. He tried to step away, but the Omega held onto him. They made slow progress, but soon enough, they were outside of the Omega’s apartment. 

“Do you have the key?” The Alpha asked. 

The Omega’s only reply was a soft snore.

Twisting the doorknob, he heard a crunching sound. He might have broken the doorknob, but he could fix that. He carefully set the Omega and his pup in the bed. He hadn’t realized how much his new mission actually needed his help.

The Omega was clearly exhausted to the depths of his soul. His den was small and messy, but it was obvious that the Omega had tried his best to make it a home. There were pictures of the pup on the wall, of the Omega with friends, and his mother. Despite the groceries the Asset provided, there needed to be more food in the small fridge. 

Omegas were capable of taking care of themselves. They were not the weaker type, but their needs could be met with others. They needed to feel safe. Even if they could provide for themselves, they needed an Alpha who could provide for them. They did not need to be crushed or coddled. Instead, they needed to be cherished. 

The Asset did not know a lot of things, but he knew that an Omega should be treated better than this.

***

Follow me on Facebook: Facebook.

Follow me on TikTok: freddiegene (@freddiegene) | TikTok.

Check out my website and blog: Freddie Gene (godaddysites.com). 

Follow me on Tumblr: @greekgeek24 on Tumblr or @freddiegene on Tumblr.

Follow me on Instagram: Freddie Gene (@bookswithfreddie) • Instagram photos and videos. 

Chapter Text

“I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way, his breaths came, and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world.” —Madeline Miller

The Asset knew that he should leave, but he had broken the doorknob.  No matter how he tried, he could not fix it. It is always easy to break something; after all, everything is made to be broken. It is never easy to fix something, after all, nothing is put back together without cracks and scars. 

How could he fix a doorknob? He did not even know how to fix himself. He should leave. But a door was like armor. Without that protection, the Omega was at great risk. He looked so small in his nest, so breakable…

“A good Alpha protects those who are weaker than he,” a woman’s voice whispered in his mind.

Hydra had not allowed him to protect. He had not been able to protect the innocents he’d been forced to kill. He had not been able to protect the girls he’d been forced to train. But Hydra did not control him anymore. So, he would protect this strange Omega and his pup. Leaning against the door, he sat outside of the Omega's apartment.

He’d dreamed of her before. She had dark brown hair and gorgeous blue eyes like a sky that went on forever. He remembered she smelled like cotton and sugar cookies. He didn’t know her name, but somehow, he knew her.

“I am so disappointed in you, James.” Her voice was soft but sad. 

His eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry, Mama.”

“Sorry isn’t always enough.” She sighed. “What you did was wrong.”

“But I didn’t mean to get in a fight! Promise!”

“You don’t accidentally get in a fight!” She frowned. “What happened? What was so bad you couldn’t solve it without fists?” 

James didn’t know how to articulate himself. He didn’t know how to explain that he had intended to walk away, but Karl Ritten had said something too horrible to repeat.

“We’ll talk about this some more when your father gets home.” She pressed a kiss atop his head. “Go play with your sister.”

The Asset woke with a start. He assessed the situation looking for whatever was wrong, and that’s when he heard the baby’s crying. Hydra had not allowed the Asset to care. He fought against his instincts that screamed for something he didn’t understand. It was not his pup. Its oma would wake and comfort it.

Only Steve was exhausted, and he did not wake, and the baby continued to cry.

“Go help your sister.”

Cautiously, the Asset crept into the apartment and over to the crib. 

The baby looked up at him with eyes filled with tears.

He did not remember holding babies, but somehow, he knew exactly how to hold her. Wrapping a blanket around her, he sat on the couch and tried to remember the last time he’d been this close to another human being. 

Silence lay languidly upon Steve's small apartment. Blearily, Steve tried to make out the numbers on his clock. It was 7:00 a.m. Jumping out of bed, he collided into the wall. “Ow!” He limped over to Peggy’s crib. He was surprised she hadn’t woken him yet—

The crib was empty!

Steve tried to fight against his panic and think clearly, but ever since her birth, he’d been terrified of losing her... Wheezing, he looked around the apartment and stopped short at the sight of James sitting on the couch holding Peggy. 

“What! Why’re you here?” Steve croaked. 

“I was guarding the door,” James explained. 

Steve didn’t understand, but then he noticed that the doorknob was crushed. How on earth did that happen?

“I couldn’t leave you unprotected,” James said softly. “I only came in because she was crying.”

Steve didn’t know what to say; he wasn’t used to anyone protecting him... “S-She’s probably hungry.”

James tried to set her in his arms, but Peggy’s small hand curled around James’ shirt. 

“Guess she's content,” Steve said, his heart twisting with jealousy. But watching them, Steve realized that Peggy had never had affection from her Alpha. Pups needed their Alphas just as much as their Omegas.

James wasn’t her father, and most Alphas would struggle with their instincts to accept a pup that wasn’t theirs. And yet, James only saw a pup in distress. He didn’t care who her Alpha was. He stepped up because it was the right thing to do. Why couldn’t Peggy’s father be James? How could a complete stranger care about her more than her own father?

“Thank you for everything,” Steves’ voice was soft. He wasn’t used to being taken care of; he didn’t know what to make of it.

James smiled. His smile was strained as if he had not smiled in years. 

“I’ll get her bottle made and some breakfast for us,” Steve said. He was relieved that it was his day off. If it had been any other day, he would have been late to work. He couldn’t afford to give Tony another reason to cut his salary again. 

Sighing, Steve focused on food. He warmed up Peggy’s bottle and started mixing up pancake batter. 

“She is a very good baby,” James said. 

Steve smiled as he handed James her bottle. “She’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”

***

Follow me on Facebook: Facebook.

Follow me on TikTok: freddiegene (@freddiegene) | TikTok.

Check out my website and blog: Freddie Gene (godaddysites.com). 

Follow me on Tumblr: @greekgeek24 on Tumblr or @freddiegene on Tumblr.

Follow me on Instagram: Freddie Gene (@bookswithfreddie) • Instagram photos and videos. 

Chapter Text

“Is it history or home that hurts us more?” —Robin Ekiss

“You look well!” Howard grinned at Steve. 

Steve shrugged. He felt better than he’d felt in months. He almost hadn’t recognized himself in the mirror without the bags under his eyes and the exhaustion weighing his body down. He hadn’t realized how haggard he’d been looking. 

Howard swooped Peggy into his arms, making engine noises. 

Peggy giggled like a lark. 

“Did my little miss get a new onesie?” Howard asked. He tried to keep curiosity out of his voice, but Peggy had worn the same onesies her whole life. 

Steve nodded. He bit his lip and hoped his cheeks didn’t flush. 

“Wait a sec—” Howard’s eyes gleamed. “You’re seeing someone!”

“No!” Steve’s face burned. 

Howard smirked. “C’mon, tell me everything!"

“I-I guess I kinda met someone,” Steve admitted. “But we’re not, I mean...”

“But you like him?” Howard asked. 

Steve blushed with all the pinks of a sunset. 

“I’m happy for you, my boy!” Howard wrapped his free arm around him. “He treats you well?”

Steve nodded. “He’s kind.”

With Sam’s help, James found a job as a mechanic. He was even able to move into the apartment next door. 

Steve had yet to put much thought into it at first. 

But then, James had knocked on his door an hour before he left for work. He had been carrying a large tray of breakfast foods. “I made too much. Can’t stand for it to go to waste.”

It had been the longest sentence that the Alpha had spoken to him. 

Steve had thought he was just being kind, but then he started walking with him back to their apartment building after their VA meetings. 

He’d knock again about an hour later carrying a tray of food with the same excuse: he cooked too much and didn’t want it to go to waste. 

Steve had been embarrassingly oblivious. He’d thought that James just wanted a friend, and he would probably still think that if Sam hadn’t stepped in. 

“I’m just gonna say this once,” Sam said softly. 

They’d been watching James lift ten foldable chairs without breaking a sweat. 

“Hmm?” Steve asked. 

“That Alpha is head over heels for you,” Sam whispered. 

“What!” Steve said a little too loudly. 

Sam shook his head. “He’s doing our job ‘cause he doesn’t want you lifting those chairs. He walks you to and from work every day. And he’s feeding all three of you.”

Steve hadn’t believed it. 

James was just being friendly! And then, he'd stopped by one morning with an adorable onesie for Peggy. It was yellow with honeybees and flowers. “It’s soft,” James’ voice had been soft. “I thought it was cute.”

Steve had been a little taken aback, but he’d seen with his own eyes how much James adored Peggy. 

He provided for her... He provided for him...

Steve was so screwed. 

“So, what’s the problem?” Howard asked. “He sounds like a wonderful Alpha.”

“He is.” Steve sighed. “B-But there's no way...”

“There’s no way what?” Howard asked. “There’s no way that he likes you too?”

“E-Even if he does, it won’t last,” Steve whispered. “And I c-can’t do that to Peggy! She’s already too attached...”

Howard frowned. “I hope you don't believe that. I can't say whether it'll last or not. It's the beginning; you’re not supposed to know.”

But all of Steve’s beginnings felt more like endings. 

“I know what Tony did to you,” Howard whispered. “And I pray you do not think all Alphas would do the same.”

Steve blinked back tears. 

Howard pulled Steve into his arms. 

Peggy settled between them. 

“I love my son,” Howard’s voice cracked. “But I hate what he has done to you.”

Steve sniffled. “I-It was my fault.”

“No, it wasn’t,” Howard said. “Now, I want you to promise me something.”

Steve wiped his face and, with it, any trace of the sadness he carried with him. 

“Promise me, you’ll give it a chance,” Howard said. “You remind me so much of my Peggy, and I want you to be brave. Yes, there’s always risk when it comes to the heart. You might get hurt, but it’s still worth it to try.”

Steve was sick of believing the worst of himself. He’d made himself smaller and smaller until he might not have mattered at all. 

James was too good to be true. 

But Steve wanted... God, what exactly did he want?

“You should invite him to my birthday party!” Howard grinned. “I’d love to meet him! Sides, I gotta put the fear of God into him!”

Steve cracked a smile. 

“I can’t wait to see the Howlies!” Howard exclaimed. 

Steve’s heart twisted. He never understood why Tony wouldn’t let Howard out of the Tower. 

“D-Do they ever talk about me?” Howard asked. His voice cracked, revealing how lonely he really was. 

“Yeah, they do,” Steve said. He couldn't bear his friend's pain. 

“I know I wasn’t really a part of them,” Howard whispered. “But they were the best pack I ever had.” 

The Howlies grinned cheekily at their captain. 

“You got a beau?” Dum Dum asked. 

Steve blushed. "Maybe.”

“I am happy for you, my friend,” Happy said with a genuine smile. 

“Qui est votre amour (Who is your love)?” Frenchie asked. 

“It’s a little soon for that,” Steve whispered. 

“I am happy for you nonetheless.” Falsworth grinned. 

"We all are,” Pinky said. 

“I’m gonna ask him to Howard's party,” Steve admitted. 

The Howlies grinned conspiratorially. 

“Please, don’t!” Steve begged. He could see it now. 

They would grill James even harder than Sarah Rogers. The interrogation would be more intense than the Cold War. 

“No promises, Cap. Gotta make sure you’re being treated right,” Dum Dum said. 

"We’re not even officially dating yet,” Steve said. “I’m not even sure...”

“He’d be a fool,” Jim growled. “You’re the best of us.”

Steve took a wheezy breath. “Enough about me.”

“I dreamed bout Sarge again,” Happy whispered. 

Dum Dum sighed. “I can’t help but wonder how he would’ve lived.”

“I can’t imagine the Omega who woulda caught his eye,” Falsworth said sadly. 

“I can,” Jim whispered. “He woulda been just like our Stevie.”

Dum Dum smiled sadly. “You’re right our sarge woulda loved our cap.”

James and Steve walked side by side. 

“How was your day?” Steve asked. 

“Good,” James said. “I finally fixed that ole beater.”

Steve smiled. 

“D-Do you want to go home r-right now?” James asked hesitantly. 

Steve shrugged. “We don’t have to. Is there somewhere you want to go?”

“The museum?” James’ voice wavered with insecurity. 

“I’d like that,” Steve said. 

Peggy cooed in agreement.

They walked through the museum. 

James listened intently as Steve rambled on about his favorite pieces of art. 

“Is there something specific you want to see?” Steve asked. 

“The World War II exhibit,” James’ voice was so soft, Steve barely heard him. 

They were silent as they walked through the exhibit. 

James felt like he was trapped within a painting. He stopped dead in his tracks before his own history. 

James Buchanan Barnes

“A-Are you alright?” Steve asked. 

James nodded. “I-I want to leave.”

“Let’s go then.” Steve squeezed his hand. 

James was shaken up about something. 

As much as Steve wanted to ask him about it, he knew that it wasn't his place, but he could offer something else. “I-I like you.”

“What?” James asked. He hadn’t expected that. 

“I like you,” Steve blurted out. “I-I think you like m-me.”

“I do,” James whispered. The corners of his mouth curved. 

Channeling his peculiar burst of adrenaline and spontaneity, Steve kissed him. 

James smiled against his lips. 

***

Follow me on Facebook: Facebook.

Follow me on TikTok: freddiegene (@freddiegene) | TikTok.

Check out my website and blog: Freddie Gene (godaddysites.com). 

Follow me on Tumblr: @greekgeek24 on Tumblr or @freddiegene on Tumblr.

Follow me on Instagram: Freddie Gene (@bookswithfreddie) • Instagram photos and videos. 

Chapter Text

“If someone punches you in the stomach, it’ll hurt whether you were expecting it or not. So, if the person you love stops loving you back, you’re going to feel the blow, even if you saw it coming.” —S.Z.

The Funeral

The funeral was a lonely affair. Some of the hospital staff sent flowers, but none of them had actually come to pay their respects. 

Sarah Rogers’ darling boy stood before her coffin, alone. He stared at the body that didn’t look like his mother. 

His mother had been brilliant and vivid. But a corpse is only an echo of life. 

He didn’t cry. Not even a tear slipped from his eyes. But that didn’t mean that he loved her any less. He was alone as they lowered her body into the grave beside her husband. He was alone as he threw a handful of dirt on top of her coffin. He was alone as she was buried, an inevitable distance between mother and son. 

No one walked him home. No one offered him comfort. No one held him close because no one should go through grief alone. 

Steve was irrevocably alone. 

The Interview 

Tap. Tap. Tap. 

Steve’s feet tapped nervously. He squeezed his knee in an attempt to stop himself, but he was wound up so tightly that his nerves bubbled over. He didn’t know what he was going to do if he didn’t get this job. 

“Mr. Rogers,” the receptionist called. 

Steve took a deep breath and walked over to her desk. 

“Mr. Stark will see you now.” She looked him up and down and was clearly not impressed. 

Steve hoped he didn’t look as nervous as he felt. 

Tony Stark’s office was obviously built to intimidate. 

Tony motioned for him to sit down but didn’t even look at him. “Where’s the red sweater?”

Steve was taken aback. “E-Excuse me?”

“Mr. Rogers?” Stark dragged the words out.

Steve forced himself to chuckle. 

“Where’d you last work?” Tony asked dryly. 

“The hospital,” Steve replied. 

“Hmm. Why are you applying for this job?”

“The pay’s better,” Steve answered honestly.  

“References?” Tony held out his hand. 

Steve handed over his resume. 

Tony skimmed through it. 

Steve waited with bated breath. 

“Well?” Mr. Stark asked impatiently. “Why should you get the job?”

Steve blinked. 

Tony rubbed his temples. “I’m waiting.”

“I’m an experienced nurse, and I enjoy working with seniors,” Steve said. 

Tony downed a glass of whiskey. “Barely any experience compared to the other applicants.”

“I’m a hard worker.”

Tony sighed. 

Steve dug his fingernail into his thumb. “I-I really need this job.”

Tony frowned. “Why?”

“M-My ma died,” Steve whispered. “I can’t pay the hospital bills or the mortgage bills on our place.”

“So, I should give you this job out of charity?” Tony laughed. 

“No, sir!” Steve cried. “I’ll work harder than anyone else, and I won’t quit no matter what.”

Tony hummed. “We’ll see about that.”

“I got the job?” Steve asked. 

“Sure, kid. The elevator will take you up.”

Steve was clearly dismissed. Hesitantly, he got on the elevator but balked at the hundreds of floors. 

“May I assist you?” A polite voice asked. 

Steve nearly jumped out of his skin. 

“Apologies, sir. I am the AI system that runs the building.”

“Oh, well, I’m Steve Rogers. Nice to meet you.” Steve stupidly held his hand out. 

“I am J.A.R.V.I.S.,” the amused AI replied. “I believe you are heading to the Stark Senior’s floor?”

“Uh, yes.”

The elevator started moving. 

The Job

The elevator opened into a large living room that could have easily swallowed Steve’s small apartment whole. 

It was as cluttered as it was big. 

Steve stepped over a pile of empty pizza boxes. His nose burned at a pile of clothes that looked like they’d barely survived a fire. 

“Fire in the hole!” An overexcited voice shouted. 

Steve ducked behind a rich leather couch that put his lumpy, orange couch to shame. 

A loud explosion shook the whole room. 

“Mr. Stark, we have company,” J.A.R.V.I.S.’ voice rang out throughout the room. 

“Company?” Mr. Stark asked. 

Steve stood up. “Hi.”

Mr. Stark looked so much like his son that it was uncanny. “Jar, who’s this?”

“The nurse—”

“How many times do I have to tell that boy that I don’t need a nurse!” Howard interrupted the AI. 

Steve chuckled. “Guess, it’s good I’m not a nurse.”

“What?” Howard asked. 

“Well, I’m technically a nurse, but it’s obvious that you don’t need one.” Steve smiled. “I am, however, whatever you need. So, for today, I’m a maid and a chef.” 

Steve had heard horror stories about working for the Starks. And though it was true that Howard Stark was eccentric and Tony Stark was a playboy, Steve didn’t mind it. Everything about him was small, even his personality. He didn’t mind letting the Starks shine. He needed the distraction. 

Nothing had been right since Sarah died. 

Steve had finally given up hope on keeping their old apartment. Even with his new paycheck, he just couldn’t swing it. He hated going home after work. The new apartment had no heart. Steve stared at the blank walls and hated how hollow he felt. 

Work was the only thing that gave him some purpose. 

The Beginning

Steve was doing just fine on his own. He actually really enjoyed working for the Starks. 

Howard didn’t need a nurse so much as he needed a friend. 

Something that was all too easy to give. 

It was usually just him and Howard. 

But sometimes, Tony came around. 

The tension between the two Starks was obvious, but it wasn’t something that Steve understood. He’d do anything just to see his ma again. 

One night after Howard had gone to bed, Steve was cleaning up the dishes. He hadn’t even realized that Tony was staring at him. 

“You know I pay actual maids to do that.” Tony’s voice was husky against Steve’s ear.

Steve shivered. “I made the mess.”

The Alpha almost purred. 

Steve almost jumped when the Alpha’s arms wrapped and locked around him. “M-Mr. Stark?”

Tony nipped Steve’s neck. 

Steve gasped. He didn’t understand what was going on. 

Tony Stark could have any Omega he wanted. 

Why would he want little-ole Steve?

But for whatever reason, Tony did want Steve. 

And Steve? Well, he just wanted to be wanted. 

Omegas are vulnerable. 

And Alphas take advantage.  

The Affair

Steve woke up feeling used and  bruised . The bed was empty. He was alone. Why was he always alone?

Loneliness gnawed on the remains of his heart. 

Steve was worried about work, but Tony acted as if nothing had happened. So, Steve did his best to pretend that it didn’t hurt. He tried to focus on work. 

If Howard noticed that something was off, he didn’t mention it. 

Steve was especially exhausted as he got on the elevator. He pushed the lobby button, but the elevator didn’t go down, it went up. 

The elevator doors opened into a wing of the Avengers’ Tower that he had never seen before. It was even nicer than Howard’s. 

“Ah, there’s the friendly neighborhood Rogers,” Tony drawled, an empty whiskey bottle in his hand. 

“Uh, I think the elevator isn’t working,” Steve stuttered. 

Tony laughed. “Nope. I wanted to spend more time with you.” 

“I-I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Steve whispered. 

Tony dropped the whiskey bottle. “Why not, baby?” 

“You’re my boss. I can’t afford to lose this job.” 

“I’m not gonna fire you. I sleep with my employees all the time.” Tony pulled Steve towards him. “C’mon, baby.”

Steve knew that he should leave. He didn’t like being treated like this, but he didn’t want to go home either. He didn’t want to be alone anymore. 

The affair lasted for a few weeks. 

Steve couldn’t help but feel something for Tony. 

It wasn’t love. 

It was carnal, painful, and nothing but a lie. 

But Steve didn’t deserve love. 

Sometimes, Tony would whisper sweet nothings in his ear. Sometimes, Tony held him during the night. 

Sometimes, it felt real. 

The Fight

It wasn’t unusual for Steve to feel unwell. 

He thought he was coming down with the flu, so he called in sick. A few days passed, but Steve didn’t feel any better. 

Finally, he forced himself to go to work. 

“You sure you’re alright?” Howard asked. 

“I’m fine.” Steve’s voice was wheezy. 

Howard frowned. “Well, how bout we watch some movies?”

“I thought you wanted to finish your experiment?” Steve asked. 

Howard gently ruffled Steve’s hair. “We can do that any other day.”

Watching old movies put him right to sleep. 

A few weeks ago, Howard had first noticed that something was off with Steve. He didn’t usually care about his nurses, but Steve wasn’t like his previous caregivers. 

The Omega was curled against his side like a pup. 

Howard had almost fallen asleep himself when the elevator opened. 

“What’s going on here?” Tony growled. 

Howard sighed. “Steve’s still a bit under the weather.”

Tony scoffed. “This is inappropriate.”

“Since when have you cared about that?” Howard asked. He suspected, but he didn’t dare bring it up. 

Tony glared at him. 

“I think Steve’s been going through a hard time,” Howard admitted. 

“So, he’s just the help.” Tony snapped. 

“Is that how you see people?” Howard asked. 

Tony laughed loudly. “As if you’re one to judge!”

Steve startled awake. 

“I’m not paying overtime for you to sit on your ass!” Tony yelled. 

Steve flinched. “I-I’m sorry. I’ll be on my way.”

“It’s too late for you to walk home on your own,” Howard said. “I’ll have Happy drive you home.”

“He’s already clocked out,” Tony said snidely. 

“I’ll be fine,” Steve said. 

“No, no, dear-old dad’s right! You’ll stay in one of the empty apartments.” 

Steve trembled under the influence of the Alpha’s voice. 

“J.A.R.V.I.S. will take you where you need to go,” Tony continued.

“Yes, Alpha,” Steve said softly. 

Once Steve was on the elevator, Howard yelled at Tony, “You never use your Alpha voice on an Omega like that!” 

“When did you get so pretentious?” Tony asked. “You wrote the book on being a shitty Alpha, and now you judge me for acting just like you!”

“I am your father!” Howard yelled. 

“Yeah, well, the wrong parent died!” Tony screamed. 

Steve was almost asleep when Tony stumbled into his room. 

Tony fell on top of Steve and tried to kiss him. 

Steve shoved him away. “You’re drunk!”

Tony gripped Steve’s hands. “So, you’re a bitch in heat for daddy—”

“Let go of me!” Steve growled. 

“Fine!” Tony shoved Steve so hard he fell out of the bed. “You’re pathetic! Not even worth a damn. Omegas have one purpose, and you can’t even do that right!”

Steve whimpered. 

Tears were free falling. 

“Get out of my tower!” Tony screamed. “Get out!”

The rain was pouring like pellets of ice. 

Steve shivered. He hadn’t even grabbed his threadbare jacket—

The rain made dark streets even harder to navigate; he could make anything out through the tears and the rain. 

He slipped, and everything went black. 

The Elegy 

Sam woke up with a start. 

The phone was ringing. 

Why on earth was the phone ringing so early?

“Hello?” He managed. 

“You are Steve Rogers’ next of kin?” A nurse asked. 

“What happened?” Sam asked. “Where is he?”

“Strange Miracles,” the nurse replied. 

“I’ll be there in a few minutes. Is he ok?”

The nurse hesitated before answering truthfully, “No.”

“What the hell happened?” Sam asked. He’d thought he’d seen Steve at his worst, but he’d never seen Steve look so broken. 

“He has hyperthermia and some evidence of abuse,” Dr. Strange replied. “It’s a miracle he didn’t lose the baby.”

“Baby!” Sam shouted. 

Dr. Strange frowned. 

Steve’s eyes cracked open as if they were frozen. 

He recognized that he was in a hospital, but he didn’t know why. 

“Thank God, you’re awake!” Sam hugged him. “I was so worried about you.”

“W-What happened?” Steve asked. 

“You walked home in a hurricane without your coat!” Sam snapped. “You caught hyperthermia, and you fell and passed out.”

Steve flinched at the harshness in his friend’s voice. 

“Goddammit, Steve, you’re supposed to be able to take care of yourself!” Sam swore. 

Steve started crying. His frail arms tightened around Sam. 

“Who hurt you?” Sam growled. “I’ll kill ‘em I swear.”

Steve sobbed harder. 

The next time Steve woke up, he was alone. Whimpering, he felt tears swell like an ocean held back by eyelashes. 

“Mr. Rogers?” Dr. Strange hovered in the doorway. 

“Yes?” Steve sighed. He was so sick and tired of hospitals and doctors. 

“We need to discuss your pregnancy.”

Steve inhaled sharply. “W-What?”

“You are pregnant. I would say only a few weeks along—”

“Is the baby ok?” Steve asked. 

“I’ve been going over your chart, and I can’t say that carrying this pregnancy to term in your condition would be a viable option.”

“Is my baby ok!” Steve asked again. 

“You have several chronic illnesses and a very weak immune system. I do not think your body could handle carrying a child to term.” Dr. Strange despised Omegas. They were so emotional. 

Steve knew that. He’d been warned repeatedly that pregnancy was not a safe option with his health. But that was before. Now, he was pregnant, and he would rather die than give that up. 

Steve missed several weeks of work because he’d been confined to bed rest. He’d seriously considered quitting, but he doubted he could find a better job. He was terrified when he finally set foot in the Avengers’ Tower. His hand curled protectively around his little baby bump. 

Howard pulled him into a crushing hug. “I was so worried about you!”

This close, there was no way the Alpha could miss how the Omega’s scent had changed. 

Howard’s face drained of color. His instincts screamed that this was his to protect—his family!

Steve dreaded telling Tony, but he knew that he had to. 

“What do you want?” Tony snarled. 

“I-I’m pregnant!” Steve blurted out. 

“Get rid of it then!” Tony threw a couple of hundreds at him. 

Steve shook his head. “I’m going to keep it.”

“Let’s get something straight then. That thing isn’t mine!” Tony advanced on Steve menacingly. “I don’t owe you or it anything.”

Steve nodded frantically. He was relieved if he were honest. He didn’t want a man like that in his child's life. “Understood.”

Tony tried to fire Steve, but Howard wouldn’t let him. So, Tony cut Steve’s pay in half. He didn’t care how it affected the Omega or his pup. 

Life was infinitely more complicated. 

But Steve wasn’t alone anymore. 

***

Follow me on Facebook: Facebook.

Follow me on TikTok: freddiegene (@freddiegene) | TikTok.

Check out my website and blog: Freddie Gene (godaddysites.com). 

Follow me on Tumblr: @greekgeek24 on Tumblr or @freddiegene on Tumblr.

Follow me on Instagram: Freddie Gene (@bookswithfreddie) • Instagram photos and videos. 

Chapter Text

I am tired of being powerless, I say to the wind. 

No answer. 

I am sick of feeling small, 

I say to the sun. 

No answer. 

Is this the end of me then?

I ask of the stars,

And light-years away, a black hole laughs.

—Amrita C. 

“I think we should look into this man,” Tony addressed the Avengers. He gestured towards the screen that displayed blurry pictures. 

“Is that not Steven’s mate?” Thor asked. 

“There’s not one clear image of him on the security tapes,” Tony explained. 

“He might be special ops,” Nat said. 

Clint nodded. “Steve said he was ex-military or something.” 

Tony barely bit back a growl. “I still think it’s worth looking into.”

“No,” Nat snapped. “We’ll have no part in your petty vendetta.” 

Tony growled. If they wouldn’t help, then he’d do it himself. 

James’ knee bounced up and down. 

Steve should be getting off work any minute now. 

Normally, they would walk straight to the VA building, but today was a special day. 

Steve and Peggy grinned when they spotted James. 

James stood and kissed Steve’s cheek. 

Peggy whined, demanding attention. 

Grinning, James obligingly covered her in kisses. 

“You’re in a good mood,” Steve said softly. 

“I got promoted!” James puffed up in pride. He was practically purring with the knowledge that he could provide for his mate and pup. 

“That’s amazing!” Steve gave him a proper kiss. 

“I want to show you something,” James ventured. 

Steve cocked his head. “After the VA?”

“I kinda told Sam we’d be skippin today,” James admitted. He was worried Steve would be mad at him. 

Steve smiled. “Well, what is it?” 

“It’s a surprise!” James exclaimed. He grabbed Steve’s hand and led the way. 

They walked for a few blocks, talking about work. Finally, they stopped before an old building. 

“What’s this?” Steve asked, frowning. 

“Remember that promotion?” James ventured. 

Steve nodded. 

“The pay’s a lot better. I even got a bonus, and well, I bought this place.”

“You what!” Steve exclaimed. 

“She was built during the thirties. She’s seen some rough years, but she’s got good bones,” James explained. “She just needs a bit of fixing up is all.”

“What’s this for?” Steve asked. 

“Well, it’s for us,” James said softly. “I thought you might like to have a real home.”

“You bought us a house?” Steve asked. 

James was suddenly very afraid that he had done the wrong thing.

Steve kissed him fiercely. “I love it!”

The next few weeks consisted of fixing up their new home. 

Alphas had an innate desire to provide a den for their mates and pups. 

James wanted nothing more than to make a home that was worthy of Steve and Peggy. 

James replaced the electricity and the plumbing. He patched the walls and allowed Steve to pick the colors. 

They painted together. 

James could watch Steve paint for hours. 

“You’re staring again.” Steve flicked some orange paint at him. 

James grinned. “I haven’t seen you smile like that.”

“Like what?” Steve asked. 

“Happy,” James said. 

Steve smiled. “Well, I am happy.”

James kissed him. “Me too.”

“All we need now is furniture,” Steve said. “I actually know a place where we can get a great deal.”

“I don’t know anything about furniture,” James admitted. 

“That’s ok,” Steve said. “We’ll figure it out together.”

The Howlin Hoard was run by Steve’s Howlies. 

“Cap!” Dum Dum exclaimed. 

Steve grinned. “I was wondering if that offer was still on the table?”

“You wanna get some furniture!” Dum Dum practically jumped for joy. 

“My Alpha got us a new place,” Steve explained, blushing slightly. 

“This ain’t him, it it?” Dum Dum asked, dragging his gaze up and down James’ awkward figure.

Steve nodded. “This is James.”

Dum Dum’s good humor faded away. He stared at James as if he were seeing a ghost. “B-Bucky?”

***

Follow me on Facebook: Facebook.

Follow me on TikTok: freddiegene (@freddiegene) | TikTok.

Check out my website and blog: Freddie Gene (godaddysites.com). 

Follow me on Tumblr: @greekgeek24 on Tumblr or @freddiegene on Tumblr.

Follow me on Instagram: Freddie Gene (@bookswithfreddie) • Instagram photos and videos. 

Chapter Text

My shoulders broad, I can carry much:

Sticks and stones and dirt and such

Ideas that cross my mind.

Still I find I can carry more, 

Your secrets, burdens, wishes for

The future, though the now unkind.

Sometimes, the world weighs me down—

I’m Atlas with a groaning sound,

Though it passes if you wait. 

Each item gone relieves some strain, 

But I’d have your troubles back again—

Your absence bears a greater weight.

— “Atlas” by Michael Maller

The burden of war is never alone. 

You carry your band of brothers with you always, even those you’ve lost. 

Dum Dum carried all of them, those young boys from training, those scared little boys who didn’t want to die, those hardened men who did what they had to do, those old souls who met their end before their time, and those lucky few who made it home. “B-Bucky?”

Bucky stilled like a statue. 

Steve froze as he sensed his Alpha’s turmoil. “Jamie, what’s wrong?”

The Asset, James, Bucky had not felt panic for decades, but he was terrified. He did not even want to imagine the danger if Steve and Peggy knew his true identity. 

“I-I’m fine. It’s just been a while since I’ve seen Dum Dum.”

“You know each other?” Steve asked. 

Bucky caught Dum Dum's eyes. 

“Uh, yeah, Jamie’s our sarge’s grandson,” Dum Dum explained. “I haven’t seen ‘im since he was a wee thing, and I was surprised by how much he looks like Buck.”

Bucky smiled gratefully. “How ‘bout you go check out the furniture, doll? I’ll catch up with Dum Dum for a bit.”

Steve hesitated. He couldn’t help but feel like he was missing something, but he trusted James. 

Once Steve was out of the room, Bucky visibly relaxed. 

“Who are you?” Dum Dum asked quietly. 

“You probably know better than me,” Bucky muttered. 

“Are you James Buchanan Barnes?” Dum Dum asked. “H-How?”

Bucky closed his eyes. “H-Hydra.”

Dum Dum swore. “What’s Stevie got to do with this?”

“Nothing!” Bucky growled. 

“Good, you better keep it that way,” Dum Dum said. 

Bucky nodded. 

Dum Dum sighed and pulled Bucky into a bone-crushing hug. “It’s real good to see you, Sarge. We all thought you were dead.” 

“Thought so too,” Bucky whispered. 

Steve had picked out a velvet orange couch that reminded him of the one in Friends. He was quite smitten with an old-fashioned bank light when his phone rang.

“Is Peggy, ok?” He asked. 

“You think you would trust me by now.” Sam chuckled. “We watched Little Bear, man, I forgot what a classic it is. Then we ate some mushed watermelon and some pudding.”

Steve sighed. 

“Don’t even start me with sugar,” Sam continued. “I’m her favorite uncle: it’s my job to fill her with sugar.”

Steve chuckled. “It’s her nap time—”

“I just put her down,” Sam said. 

Steve’s phone buzzed, delivering a picture of Peggy clutching her teddy bear.  

“What’s this I hear that you’re moving in with James?” Sam asked. 

“Well, he got promoted, and he bought this gorgeous brownstone…”

“Steve.” Sam sighed. “You barely know him!”

Steve wanted to say that, that wasn’t true. He knew James; he always would. 

“Steve, you jump into these things, and you always…” Sam trailed off. 

Steve always got hurt. “You don’t know him out of group sessions. Why don’t you come over for dinner?”

Sam agreed. 

Steve hung up and meandered back over to Dum Dum and James. 

James looped his arm around Steve. “Hey, doll.”

Steve leaned into his Alpha’s touch. 

“You find anything?” Dum Dum asked. 

Steve nodded. “I really like that orange couch you got there.”

Dum Dum grinned. “That couch comes with free side tables.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Steve tried. He hated taking charity. 

“Don’t even think about that, Cap,” Dum Dum said. “I’ll get everything delivered to your place tomorrow.”

James kissed the top of Steve’s head. 

“Sam’s comin over for dinner,” Steve said. “We should probably get groceries.” 

“How’s Peg?” James asked. 

Steve showed him the picture that Sam had sent.

James smiled and showed the picture to Dum Dum. “Ain’t I a lucky man?”

Dum Dum’s face filled with awe. He hugged them both goodbye, but he held James just a little longer. 

Steve was quiet as they walked to the supermarket. He was thinking too much, but what if he were making a mistake? What if he didn’t know James as well as he thought he did? “W-Why did Dum Dum call you Bucky?”

“It’s my name,” James explained. “James Buchanan Barnes. My little sister used to call me Bucky.”

“Do you like it better than James or Jamie?” Steve asked. 

“They’re all my name.” James shrugged. 

Steve nodded. He was afraid because he trusted James, Jamie, and Bucky more than he had ever trusted Tony Stark. 

James had the ability to ruin Steve.

***

Follow me on Facebook: Facebook.

Follow me on TikTok: freddiegene (@freddiegene) | TikTok.

Check out my website and blog: Freddie Gene (godaddysites.com). 

Follow me on Tumblr: @greekgeek24 on Tumblr or @freddiegene on Tumblr.

Follow me on Instagram: Freddie Gene (@bookswithfreddie) • Instagram photos and videos. 

Chapter Text

“He was another knife I could feel it. A different sort, but a knife still. I did not care. I thought: give me the blade. Some things are worth spilling blood for.” —Madeline Miller

Sam had always prided himself on his ability to be objective. After all, he had to be objective. He listened to awful, heart wrenching stories, yet he couldn’t judge. So, Sam knew how to be an objective counselor, and he had offered that trust to James. 

James always listened and watched group sessions intently, but he never interacted. He was like a bank vault that not even the best thief could crack.  

Although Sam, the counselor, could be objective. Sam, the best friend of Steve, could not. 

No veteran was alike, but a few who had witnessed the worst of mankind. 

James’ eyes held that haunted look. 

So, Sam couldn’t trust James with Steve. He still blamed himself for what happened with Tony, and he’d be damned if he let Steve get hurt again. 

“This is a real nice place, James,” Sam said. “How did you afford it?”

Steve glared at Sam. “I told you he got a promotion.”

Sam really doubted that. He’d helped James get connected in a shoddy auto shop. “Have you made any progress on your homework, at least?”

James shrugged. “I can’t.”

“You can’t,” Sam repeated. “It’s a simple assignment—”

“My family’s dead,” James growled. “I can’t make amends or whatever.” 

Steve squeezed James’ arm. 

They were silent as they sat down for a dinner of steak and potatoes. 

Steve offered Peggy some mashed potatoes. “She’s his biggest fan.”

“Huh?” Sam asked. 

“Pegg prefers James’ cooking to mine,” Steve explained. 

James lightly ruffled Peggy’s hair. “She’s just getting used to solids. I’m sure she loves yours the best.”

Steve snorted. 

“So, what’s the plan?” Sam asked. “You two just gonna live together and play house?”

“Sam!” Steve exclaimed. 

“I-I’m not playing,” James said softly. “I love him. He’s the closest thing I have to home.”

Steve squeezed James’ hand. “I know you’re just worried about me, but he’s not like that.”

Sam wasn’t convinced, but he knew from experience that Steve was like a mountain. It would take a miracle or something much worse to move him. 

Bucky watched Steve sleep. 

His chest rising and falling. His breaths shaky.

I just wanted to come home, Bucky thought. But what if I hurt him?

***

Follow me on Facebook: Facebook.

Follow me on TikTok: freddiegene (@freddiegene) | TikTok.

Check out my website and blog: Freddie Gene (godaddysites.com). 

Follow me on Tumblr: @greekgeek24 on Tumblr or @freddiegene on Tumblr.

Follow me on Instagram: Freddie Gene (@bookswithfreddie) • Instagram photos and videos. 

Chapter Text

“I’m not tragic these days, I don’t weep, but I feel alone, bewildered, far from you, far from everything—nothing has any meaning.” —Simone de Beauvoir

Every few weeks, Steve and Peggy went to Strange Miracles for a check-up. Steve because his health was always a concern. Peggy because she likely inherited something. For the first time, Steve and Peggy didn’t have to face it alone. 

James had insisted on coming. He sat next to Steve and held Peggy, offering both of them comfort. 

Steve was no stranger to hospitals, waiting rooms, or doctors. But he’d never learned how to like it. That sterile smell, the white-washed walls, and the disinterested faces just brought everything back. He remembered being hospitalized. He remembered hearing his ma cry for the first time. He remembered when it was her turn. He remembered hiding his tears from her…

“Peggy Rogers.” 

Steve was always worried when it was Peggy’s turn. 

James squeezed his hand. 

Dr. Strange greeted them as indifferently as he always did. He listened to Peggy’s lungs and tested her reflexes. 

Anxiously, Steve watched and worried. 

“Has anything changed?” Dr. Strange asked. “She appears to be in better health this time.”

“Really?” Steve asked. 

Dr. Strange nodded. He looked at Steve finally, noticing that the Omega also appeared to be in better health. Finally, his gaze was drawn to the quiet Alpha. “Ah, that explains it.”

“What?” Steve asked. 

“You’ve got an Alpha,” Dr. Strange said. “Alphas drastically affect the health of Omegas and pups.”

Steve’s own appointment went much the same. He was given a stronger medication, a precaution with the colder weather coming. But overall, he was healthy. 

And it had everything to do with James. 

“I can’t believe it,” Steve said quietly. “I always expect the worst when it comes to doctors. I-I’ll have what my ma had… Or Pegs will have asthma…”

“You won’t ever have to go to the doctor’s alone,” James promised. He wished he could do more. 

Steve smiled softly. “Thank you for taking care of us.”

“You take care of me too,” James whispered.

More than they knew.

***

Follow me on Facebook: Facebook.

Follow me on TikTok: freddiegene (@freddiegene) | TikTok.

Check out my website and blog: Freddie Gene (godaddysites.com). 

Follow me on Tumblr: @greekgeek24 on Tumblr or @freddiegene on Tumblr.

Follow me on Instagram: Freddie Gene (@bookswithfreddie) • Instagram photos and videos. 

Chapter Text

“” ‘’  —

Memory is not in the head

only. It’s midnight, 

you existed once, you exist

again, my entire skin

sensitive as an eye, 

imprint of you

glowing against me, 

burnt-out match in a dark room.

—Margaret Atwood

Steve stared at his reflection and sighed. Even in his nicest button-up shirt, he still looked like the help. 

Howard had said that there wouldn’t be a dress code. 

But Steve knew how Tony threw parties. 

“You look lovely, doll.” Jamie was sitting on the bed trying to distract Peggy from her party dress. 

Steve blushed. He still wasn't used to that. “Y-You're sure you want to go?”

Jamie shrugged. “I just want to be with you.”

Steve felt as if he might float away with all the butterflies flying in his chest. 

Peggy pouted. 

“She really doesn’t like her dress,” James commented. 

Steve sighed. “She cant’ wear a onesie. Everyone’s gonna be guzzied up.”

“Not everyone’s a baby.” James kissed the top of her peach-fuzz head. 

“Guess you’re right,” Steve said. He really didn’t want to deal with a cranky Peggy tonight. 

James freed Peggy from her itchy party dress, and the baby cooed in triumph. 

“She’s got you wrapped around her little fingers,” Steve said handing him the yellow onesie with bees and flowers. 

Jamie blew a raspberry on Peggy’s tummy. 

Peals of laughter filled the apartment. 

“I can think of worse masters,” Jamie said softly. 

Steve frowned. Sometimes, he felt an ancient sadness around James. 

James didn't talk about the war. He didn't even talk about it in Sam’s VA group. 

Steve had worked with enough veterans to know that he wasn't ready to open up yet, but he also knew that he wouldn't start healing until he opened up. 

“C’mon, let’s get this party started.” Jamie grinned. 

Steve grinned back. “You’re sure you want to go?”

“I go where you go, Punk,” Jamie replied. 

They held hands as they walked towards the Stark Tower. 

A Stark Galla was always over the top. 

Steve always felt out of place, but at least he wasn't alone anymore. 

“Stevie, my boy!” Howard exclaimed jovially. 

“Look at you! You look even older than yesterday,” Steve joked. 

Howard laughed and grinned cheekily at Steve. “And is this your boyfriend?”

Steve blushed. “Um, this is uh James.”

“Nice to meet you!” Howard squeezed James' hand as he shook it. 

The two Alphas stared at each other for a moment. 

“You’ve been good for Stevie,” Howard finally said. 

“It ain’t hard to be good to someone,” James said simply. 

Howard smiled. "I like him!”

Steve wrapped his arm around Jamie's waist. “He’s mine!”

Jamie pressed a kiss atop Steve's head. 

“You make sure this one has some fun,” Howard said grinning at James. “He’s too serious.”

James nodded. 

“I’ll try to catch up with you guys later, but I’ve got to posture to all the rich fuddy duddies.” Howard sighed dramatically. 

“He’s always like that,” Steve explained. 

James’ mouth quirked. “I like him.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Course, you two would get along.”

James’ lips hovered near Steve's ear. “I really liked that you called me yours.”

“Well, you are.” Steve stood on his tippy toes and kissed his jaw. 

“You wanna dance, doll?” Jamie asked. 

Steve grinned. “I’d love to."

“I was asking the little princess.” Jamie chuckled. “But I’ll dance with you too, honey cheeks.”

Steve giggled. 

“Steven!” Thor boomed from across the room.

James startled a bit at the loud noise. 

“It is good to see you again," Thor greeted Steve warmly. 

“I’m gonna give this girl a dance,” James said softly.

Steve watched James twirl around with Peggy in his arms.  

James was a natural dancer. 

“You and your pup appear to be in good health,” Thor commented. 

“We are. My uh boyfriend’s seeing to it.” Steve still wasn't used to saying that.

“I am happy for you, my friend.” Thor grinned. 

Jamie and Peggy walked back over. 

“Would you watch the little one?” Jamie asked. “I want to take this one out on the dance floor.”

Thor grinned. "It would be my honor.”

James literally swept Steve off his feet. 

Steve had never been good at dancing, but he felt like he was flying in James’ arms. “How did you learn to dance?” 

“M-My ma,” James whispered. 

“Did she teach you like this?” Steve asked stepping on his toes.

Jamie grinned and danced with him as if they were lovestruck boys.  

When they had returned to Thor, Steve took a few shaky breaths. 

James frowned. “I’ll get you some water.”

Steve smiled gratefully. Rocking Peggy back and forth, he waited for James to return.

“Didn’t realize Dad invited the help,” Tony drawled. 

Steve tensed uncomfortably. “It’s his birthday; he can invite who he wants.”

Tony glared at him. “Why’d you bring the pup? Didn’t realize you trained them that young.”

“I can’t afford a sitter,” Steve growled. 

“Shouldn’t have had her then,” Tony growled. 

James stepped between the threatening Alpha and his Omega. “Is there a problem here?”

“Nah, we’re old friends. Aren’t we, Stevie?” Tony’s voice was laced with venom. 

James settled his arms around Steve. 

“And you are?” Tony asked. 

“I’m his,” James said. 

“He’s used goods,” Tony said. 

Jamie grinned. “I didn’t know I was that good.”

Tony sputtered. 

Steve burst into laughter. 

Tony stormed off.

“Thank you,” Steve whispered. 

James kissed his cheek. “He shouldn’t have talked to you like that.”

“I’m used to it,” Steve admitted. 

“You shouldn’t be." James hugged him tight. “You wanna dance again?"

Steve shook his head. “Honestly, I just wanna go home and cuddle."

Jamie smiled softly. “Then that’s what we’ll do."

“Ugh,” Steve groaned. “The Howlies won’t forgive me if I don’t at least drop by.”

“You’re exhausted, doll.” James frowned. “And you’ve got work tomorrow.”

Steve sighed. “Let’s go home."

***

Follow me on Facebook: Facebook.

Follow me on TikTok: freddiegene (@freddiegene) | TikTok.

Check out my website and blog: Freddie Gene (godaddysites.com). 

Follow me on Tumblr: @greekgeek24 on Tumblr or @freddiegene on Tumblr.

Follow me on Instagram: Freddie Gene (@bookswithfreddie) • Instagram photos and videos. 

Chapter Text

“I love anything that haunts me… and never leaves.” —Jeff Buckley

During his captivity, Bucky hadn’t remembered holidays. So, he wasn’t expecting the following months. 

Halloween 

Bucky had been reading a book about Alphas, Omegas, and Pups , waiting for Steve and Peggy to get home. He was trying not to worry they were only twenty minutes late… He perked up when he heard Steve’s light stomps and huffing breath. The last thing he expected to see was Steve carrying Peggy and shopping bags. 

Steve so rarely bought anything but necessities. “Oh, good, you’re home! I can’t wait to show you what I got!”

Bucky grinned, holding his hands out for Peg. 

Steve laughed as their baby girl squealed and held her arms out for Bucky. Handing her over, he sat with his legs crossed and pulled out something colorful.

Bucky cocked his head. 

“I got us all costumes for tonight!” Steve pulled out two cowboy hats, plaid shirts, wranglers, and a little cow onesie. 

“Tonight?” Bucky asked. 

“It’s Halloween, silly.” Steve teased. 

“Oh.” Bucky looked at Peggy to see if she knew what her oma was going on about. 

She blew a spit bubble. 

“We better get changed. I want to stop by Howard’s and the Howlies. Now, do you wanna get the little monster wrangled into her costume, or me?” Steve asked. 

“I’ll do it,” Bucky said, kissing Peggy’s soft locks. He might not understand what was going on, but even he could admit Peggy looked adorable in her black and white costume. 

But Steve looked downright sinful. “I’m going to feed her while you get changed.”

Bucky hummed, staring at Steve’s chest peeking through his unbuttoned plaid shirt.

“Get dressed, and maybe I’ll let you lasso me tonight.” Steve was so pretty when he blushed. 

This was not how Bucky had envisioned his night, but the obvious joy on Steve and Peggy’s faces was worth it. Holding the camera steady, he watched as Steve knocked on the door. “Trick or treat!”

Howard opened the door with a big grin. “Oh, let me see that little gremlin!”

Peggy squealed with delight at seeing her grandpa. 

Howard kissed her face, tickling her with his beard. “Let me get a picture of all three of you.”

Bucky handed him their camera and wrapped his arm around Steve’s shoulder. Peggy’s face was concentrated. 

“Now, that’s a keeper!” Howard laughed passing it over. 

“Oh, no, not the poopy face!” Steve exclaimed. “I’m gonna have to change her real quick.”

“Take your time, son,” Howard said, looking closer at Bucky. “I’ve been meaning to have a chat with your new beau anyway.”

“Be nice,” Steve called over his shoulder as he and Peggy disappeared into Howard’s apartment. 

“You know there’s something real familiar about you,” Howard said. 

Bucky shrugged. 

“I will say I’ve never seen that boy happier,” Howard said thoughtfully. “Keep it that way.” 

“Yes, sir,” Bucky said. 

Steve and Peggy were ready soon after that. Steve looked between Howard and Bucky. “Everything good?”

“Everything’s perfect, doll,” Bucky whispered softly and kissed his cheek. 

Howard smiled. “You take Monday off?”

“I can’t do that,” Steve said. 

“I insist!” Howard squeezed his hand. “You enjoy some time with your family.”

The Howlies lived relatively close to each other. 

Steve was a little surprised when Dum Dum pulled Bucky into a hug. In fact, he was pulled into a hug by every Howling Commando they met that night. He couldn’t help but wonder…

Thanksgiving

Bucky’s memories were scattered, but he vaguely remembered his mother cooking. 

Winnifred Barnes only learned to cook after she married George Barnes. She learned through trial and error, but compared to army rations, George found her cooking wonderful. With the arrivals of Bucky, Becca, Betty, and Ben, food became the very life source of the Barnes household. They weren’t rich by any means, but they never went without. Thanksgiving was one of the few occasions when the Barnes clan would gather in its entirety. Bucky learned if he played quietly in the kitchen and offered to help where he could his mother would offer him spoonfuls of potatoes and yams. Bites of turkey and gravy before everyone else. And his favorite, apple pie.

The Rogers’ Thanksgivings had always been a small affair. Sarah simply couldn’t afford to waste money on food when Steve needed his medication so badly. 

So, Steve was surprised when he came home from work to find Bucky single-handedly a Thanksgiving feast. 

It was more than the two of them could ever eat. 

But Bucky had thought of that as well. He arranged to share the meal with the Howlies and the veterans in his group. 

All of them had so much to be thankful for. 

Christmas 

Steve couldn’t believe this was Peggy’s first Christmas. He’d always been fond of Christmas because it was one of the few days he had his ma all to himself. She never worked on Christmas. 

Bucky was blue. He still refused to talk about his past in group sessions, and he blatantly refused to entertain the idea of sharing it with Steve. But his nightmares were getting worse. He wasn’t sleeping the whole night through. More often than not, Steve had woken up to a cold and empty nest. Some nights, Steve woke up to blood-curdling screams; some nights, Steve woke up to a hurricane of sobs that could drown the ocean. 

Steve didn’t know what to do. It killed him that Bucky was hurting so much. “J-Just talk to me, Buck.”

Bucky shook his head. “No.”

Steve sighed. “You can’t keep it inside of you. It’s eating you alive.”

But Bucky wouldn’t hear it. 

“At least talk about it in your sessions,” Steve begged. He knew what happened to veterans who bottled it all up. 

Bucky hugged him. He kissed a tear from Steve’s face. “I’m fine. I promise.”

They both knew he was lying. 

“What’s the matter?” Howard asked. He hadn’t seen Steve looking so down in months. 

“I-I’m just worried about Jamie,” Steve whispered. “He’s not talking in group, and he won’t talk to me. And h-he isn’t doing well.”

Howard frowned. “Are you and Peggy safe?”

“What?” Steve gasped. 

“He wound’t hurt you, would he?” Howard asked. He could still taste the liquor on his lips…

“No, no of course not!” Steve shivered. “I-I’m afraid he’ll hurt himself.”

Howard patted his shoulder. “You can’t force him to talk. You just have to weather the storm and be there when he’s ready.”

“Cap, you alright?” Dum Dum asked. 

Steve took a shuddering breath. “No, I’m real worried about Buck.”

The Howlies shared a look. One war always equals one more. Sometimes, the war after the war was even harder. 

“Don’t you worry, Cap. We’ll take care of our Sarge,” Falsworth said. 

After work, Steve and Bucky picked out a Christmas tree. They got home and decorated it. 

Peggy stared at the colorful lights in wonder. She kept reaching for the ornaments.

Bucky picked her up and distracted her with a teddy bear. He stared at the lights too, unable to wrap his head around it. 

“The Howlies wanted to invite you to dinner,” Steve said carefully. “After the holidays.”

Bucky nodded. “That’s nice of em.”

Steve played with Bucky’s hair. “You’re sure you’re alright?”

Bucky kissed Steve’s hand. “I’m sorry. I-I’ve just been thinking about my family. I guess I just didn’t realize how much I missed them.”

Steve tightened his arms around Bucky. “I know what you mean.” 

Watching Peggy babble at the Christmas lights, they wished their loved ones had lived just a little longer. It wasn’t fair that they’d never gotten a chance to see how holidays change. 

Christmas Day was just the three of them. They were all dressed in plaid pjs. Bucky savored the orange in his stocking and kissed Steve hard, tasting of citrus. Steve tried not to cry as his baby girl opened her first presents. Peggy didn’t quite understand what the fuss was all about, but she loved playing with the wrapping paper. 

Bucky was nervous as he handed Steve a small, badly wrapped present.

Steve unwrapped it carefully with every intention of saving the wrapping paper. He gasped. “B-Buck!”

Bucky was already kneeling. “You’re everything I dreamt for. You were worth the last century of pain. Marry me?”

Steve didn’t quite understand Bucky’s words. But it didn’t matter. He loved him; he didn’t need to know the rest of it yet. “M-My present can’t possibly compare.” Steve’s voice shook as he stared at the ring on his finger. 

Bucky was quiet for a long moment after unwrapping his gift. 

Steve had painted all three of them. “I know we don’t have any family left, but we’re family now.” 

Bucky kissed him. “Mine.” 

***

Follow me on Facebook: Facebook.

Follow me on TikTok: freddiegene (@freddiegene) | TikTok.

Check out my website and blog: Freddie Gene (godaddysites.com). 

Follow me on Tumblr: @greekgeek24 on Tumblr or @freddiegene on Tumblr.

Follow me on Instagram: Freddie Gene (@bookswithfreddie) • Instagram photos and videos. 

Chapter Text

“But people like me love only ghosts. If I ever loved a human being—I would soon go to ruin.” —Friedrich Nietzsche

Steve stared at the antique ring on his finger. He wondered where Bucky had gotten it, but he hadn’t asked yet. He was curious, but he was more worried about Bucky. 

Bucky had been having more and more nightmares. Most nights, Bucky wouldn’t even sleep in the same bed as Steve. He wasn’t eating like he should, and he looked like he was in pain. He would kiss Steve but nothing more.

Steve didn’t know what to do. He really hoped that somehow the Howlies would get through to Bucky where he couldn’t. 

“You’re sure you’ll be alright?” Bucky asked. 

“I’m sure.” Steve smiled at his Alpha’s overprotectiveness. “Sam’s coming over for dinner and a movie. We’ll be fine.”

Bucky nodded. He trusted Sam for the most part. 

“How bout you? Excited for tonight?”

“I guess.” Bucky shrugged.

“You gotta talk to someone,” Steve said softly. “You won’t talk to Sam or me. You’re hurting yourself holding everything inside. The Howlies have been through more than most. If anyone can relate to what you’ve been through, it’s them.”

Bucky hugged Steve. “I don’t deserve you.”

Steve kissed his chin. “I don’t care.”

“I don’t want to go,” Bucky whispered. “I-I’m not who they remember.”

“Buck, they’re all the family you have left.” Steve thought of his ma. “They’ll love you no matter what.”

Bucky nodded. “Ok. I’m going to go. You’re sure you’ll be alright?”

“I’m sure.” Steve pulled his Alpha down for a kiss. Lingering in the scent of pine and snow, his heart filled with love. 

Looking back at Steve and Peggy, Bucky remembered they were why he had to do this. “I love you.”

“Love you.” Steve watched him go, wishing that Bucky would deal with what he needed to. 

Sam arrived only a few minutes after Bucky had left. 

***

The Howlies had asked Sam and Steve if they could use the VA building after hours. They wanted a space that was familiar to Sarge. 

Dum Dum told them everything he knew which wasn’t much, but they all knew that Steve was worried. Trusting their captain, they were prepared to go to war. Recovery is just as much of war as the battlefield. 

The Asset, James, Jamie, Bucky hesitated outside the door. His metal hand flexed as he considered the doorknob. He wasn’t sure if he was more afraid that they wouldn’t know him, or that they would know him after all this time. 

“C’mon, Sarge,” Dum Dum said softly. “We’ve been waiting a long time for you to come home.”

Every single one of the Howling Commandos stood as Sargent James Buchanan Barnes walked into the room. They saluted, standing at attention. 

“At ease,” Bucky said softly.

They were older, but they were so familiar. 

“You don’t look a day over twenty,” Jim whispered. 

“What the hell did they do to you?” Falsworth asked. 

“Hydra.” Happy blinked back tears. Had everything they fought for been for naught?

“C’est assez de chagrin (That is enough grief),” Frenchie said. “Il est vivant et libre (He is alive and free).”

They were sitting in a circle, staring at him. 

“What happened? H-How are you alive?” Pinky asked. 

Bucky didn’t know how to tell them, so he showed them. Taking off his long-sleeve shirt and glove, his metal arm was bare for the first time since he’d escaped Hydra. 

“Vous êtes l’assassin (You are the assassin)!” Frenchie gasped. 

“They called me the Winter Soldier,” Bucky said softly. “B-But I didn’t know my own name. I-I was their asset. I k-killed who they ordered me to.” 

“Why?” Falsworth asked. “Why did you do it?”

“I didn’t have a choice,” Bucky’s voice cracked. “I-I wasn’t in control. I didn’t know right from wrong. I didn’t remember who I was. I-I didn’t know anything but pain.”

Dum Dum laid a hand on his shoulder. “You were a prisoner of war for seventy years. You did what you had to do to survive. You didn’t have a choice.”

“I know,” Bucky whispered. “But I still did it.”

***

“Steve, why on earth would you say yes!” Sam asked, anger creeping into his voice. 

“I love him,” Steve said. “Why can’t you just be happy for me?”

“I want to be,” Sam said. “But you barely know him!”

Maybe, that was true, Steve admitted to himself. He didn’t know James, Jamie, or even Bucky that well. But Sarah always told him that love was like a garden. You had to water and tend it to make it bloom.  

Bucky was a good man. He’d proven that to Steve, so he deserved some trust even if he didn’t tell Steve everything. 

“I know enough.” Steve smiled. “Ma married Da after only knowing him for a few weeks.”

Sam sighed. “I just don’t want you to get hurt again.”

“I know, but he won’t hurt me. I’m more worried about him hurting himself,” Steve whispered. “I really hope the Howlies can get through to him.”

“He’s started talking a bit more during group,” Sam said. 

Steve didn’t ask, but he wanted to. 

“He talks a lot bout his ma and sister,” Sam continued. “But it doesn’t make sense.”

“W-What do you mean?” Steve asked. 

“He says his ma made a wacky cake like from the Depression,” Sam explained. “He says he’s surprised by how expensive everything is. Says bananas and coke taste different. Like I said it’s nonsense.”

“At least, he’s talking,” Steve said. 

***

“What are you going to tell Cap?” Dum Dum asked. 

Bucky shook his head. “Nothing. I-I can’t tell him any of it.”

“He could handle it,” Jim said. 

“I couldn’t,” Bucky said. “I don’t deserve him. I’m barely human.”

“Et pourtant, vous l’aimez (And yet, you love him).” Frenchie smiled. “Et il t’aime (And he loves you).”

“I keep thinking how much my ma would’ve loved him,” Bucky whispered. “I didn’t mean to fall in love, but he’s like the sun. He makes all the darkness of the last seventy years easier to bear.”

“You should tell him,” Dum Dum said. 

“He’s in danger just knowing me,” Bucky whispered. “But if he knew everything… I don’t know if I could protect him.”

“It’s not you versus the world anymore,” Falsworth said. “You have us.”

“We’ll keep our Captain and Sarge safe,” Dum Dum promised. 

***

Steve was sketching, pretending he wasn’t just waiting for Bucky to come home. 

Peggy was finally sleeping in her toddler bed. She probably would wake up in the middle of the night. She didn’t like sleeping in a different room from Steve, and Steve didn’t have the heart to force her to self-soothe… 

Bucky plopped onto the couch next to Steve. He struggled with touch sometimes, but he couldn’t help himself. 

Steve sighed in contentment. “How did it go?”

“Good,” Bucky said softly. 

“I’m glad.” Steve wiggled until he was lying on top of Bucky. 

“I’m sorry,” Bucky said softly. “I know I’ve been worrying you.”

Steve pressed a soft kiss against his lips. “I love you, of course, I worry.”

“I don’t know how to talk about it,” Bucky confessed. “I wasn’t allowed to for so long, and I don’t even know where to start.”

“I want to know,” Steve confessed. “I want to know you, but I know better than most what it’s like tearing yourself apart. There’s stuff I haven’t told you about.”

“I-I didn’t want to go to war,” Bucky whispered. “I was drafted. I think I liked science, but I don’t remember before. Not really.”

Steve frowned. He didn’t think there’d been a draft for decades… 

“I-I remember the cold so clearly.” Bucky shivered. 

Steve hugged him. “That’s enough for now.”

Bucky kissed him. “I want you to know me, but I’m afraid once you will, you won’t be able to love me anymore.”

 “That’s not how love works,” Steve promised. “A part of me loves Tony despite everything he did. And I love my parents even though they left me alone. And I’ll love you till the end of the line.”

***

Growling, Tony threw a stack of papers from his desk. “Jarvis, pull up everything we have on the Winter Soldier. Now pull up a picture of Steve’s boyfriend.” 

The two pictures were side by side, making the similarities even more obvious. Two men with dark hair and brown eyes. Interestingly enough, they both had long hair…

“What’s the boyfriend’s name again?” Tony asked. 

“I believe Mr. Rogers introduced him as James.” 

“What’s the Winter Soldier’s name,” Tony asked. 

“James Buchanan Barnes,” Jarvis replied. 

“So, they’re both named James?” Tony cocked his head, that was a pretty big coincidence, especially since they looked like they could be related or possibly the same person.

“Yes, though it is a very popular name. In fact, it has been among the top ten boys’ names every single decade except for two.” Jarvis found it amusing. 

“Run facial analysis on the Jameses.” Tony didn’t care, but he needed the Avengers’ help to kill the man who’d killed his mom. 

“They are a match. The Winter Soldier is Steve’s boyfriend,” Jarvis confirmed. 

AVENGERS ASSEMBLE ASAP

TARGET AQUIRED: WINTER SOLDIER

***

Follow me on Facebook: Facebook.

Follow me on TikTok: freddiegene (@freddiegene) | TikTok.

Check out my website and blog: Freddie Gene (godaddysites.com). 

Follow me on Tumblr: @greekgeek24 on Tumblr or @freddiegene on Tumblr.

Follow me on Instagram: Freddie Gene (@bookswithfreddie) • Instagram photos and videos. 

Chapter Text

“I have done bad things. I can’t take them back, and they are part of who I am. Most of the time, they seem like the only thing I am.” —Veronica Roth

“You’re saying the Winter Soldier is Steven’s love?” Thor asked. He had not sensed evil in the young man’s heart. He had not even recognized him…

Nat stared at the side-by-side pictures of the Asset and James. “It’s him.”

“So, we bring him in,” Clint said. 

“No, we’re not bringing him in,” Tony said. “He’s too dangerous.”

“He is like Loki?” Thor asked. “He did not have a choice.”

“We can’t just kill him,” Clint said. 

“Tony, don’t make this about Steve,” Nat warned. 

Tony laughed. “This isn’t about Steve. It’s about what we have to do. You remember last time we fought him? He’s got the closest thing to Erskine’s super-soldier serum. He’s a better spy and assassin than you, Nat. And he fucking killed my mom!”

Thor frowned. He did not want to go into battle with anger leading the way. “We cannot just attack out right. What of Steve and the little one?”

“Extraction,” Nat said. “We get them as far away from the fight as possible.”

“You don’t think he’ll fight for them?” Bruce asked. “He’s been with them for months. He considers them his pack. He’ll go feral…”

Tony made a face. “He could just as easily use them as hostages.”

Thor thought to the ball, remembering how James and Steven had looked at each other. He had not seen a pairing so in love since Loki and Sygin… He doubted the soldier of winter would use his pack against them, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t fight viciously for those he considered his own. 

“Thunder for brain!” Tony snapped. 

Thor shook his head, clearing his tumultuous thoughts. “Aye?”

“Can you extract Steve and P-Peggy?” Tony asked. “Steve knows you. He’d probably be more willing to go with you.”

“Of course, I will get friend Steven and small one Peggy to safety.” Thor hoped his friend would forgive him… 

“We don’t attack until Steve and the kid are clear,” Natasha said. “Tony.”

“Fine. Whatever.” Tony’s hand clenched into a fist. 

“He didn’t have a choice,” Clint said, voice cracking, unable to not think of what Loki did to him. “We can’t just kill him… We’d be no better than them.”

Tony ignored him. He wanted revenge for his mother, for himself, and even for his daughter. He’d been broken when his mother died, and he’d done nothing right since. Everything he’d fucked up was the Winter Soldier’s fault. 

***

Steve jerked awake, struggling to breathe. He didn’t understand at first, but a heavy hand was clasped over his mouth. 

“Easy, Steven,” Thor said softly. “I shall get you and young Peggy to safety.”

Wheezing, Steve looked up at Thor. 

“I need you to trust me,” Thor said. He was a god, an Avenger, and his friend. If he asked for Steve’s trust, Steve knew it was important. “We must be very quiet.”

Steve’s heart was pounding as they crept into Peggy’s room. He picked her up, breathing in her scent, trying to calm himself. But Thor picked both of them up. “W-What about Bucky?”

Thor’s face was painted with grief. “I am sorry, my friend.” With that, Thor jumped out of the window with Steve and Peggy in his arms. 

Steve screamed—

Someone catapulted out of the window after them. “Let them go!” It was Bucky’s voice. 

“You know I can’t do that,” Thor said softly. 

“Let me go!” Steve squirmed, trying to break free. “It’s Bucky!”

“He is not who you think he is,” Thor said gravely. 

Steve couldn’t fight against the god’s strength, but that didn’t stop him from trying. He saw another figure jump to the ground, standing between Thor and Bucky.

“Get Rogers and the pup out of here.” It was Natasha’s voice. 

“Natalia, you know better than to get between an Alpha and his mate,” Bucky’s voice had never sounded so dangerous. 

“And you know people like us don’t get the simple life, Yakov,” Natasha said. “There’s too much red on our ledgers.”

While they were talking, Thor was slowly backing up, dragging Steve further away from his mate. 

Panic swelled up in Steve’s chest. He writhed like a soaking wet kitten, but Thor’s grip was unyielding. “You can’t take me away from him!” His voice cracked, desperate. “Please, don’t do this.”

Bucky growled low in his throat, shifting his stance. His metal hand flexed, and in an instant, he was moving. Natasha was fast, but Bucky was faster. He dodged her strike and lunged at Thor. 

Steve barely had time to gasp before Bucky slammed against them, sending all four of them tumbling to the ground. 

Thor absorbed most of the impact with a grunt, but it was enough. His grip loosened, and Steve managed to break free, rolling instinctively to protect Peggy.

“Steve, run!” Bucky ordered. 

But Steve couldn’t run, not without him. 

Natasha was already on Bucky, knife flashing. 

He blocked it with his metal arm, but Thor’s eyes were sparking with electricity. 

There was no way Bucky could take them both, and they probably only had a short window of time before the rest of the Avengers showed up. 

Scrambling to his feet, Steve panted, his brain working a mile a minute. And then—It was like the universe whispered in his ear. 

There. 

His fingers wrapped around something smooth, cold, and impossibly heavy. Except, it wasn’t heavy. 

The noise of the fight went deathly silent. 

Steve looked down, breath catching in his throat. Mjolnir. He’d grabbed Mjolnir! Thunger rumbled overheard, not following Thor’s command but Steve’s.

Natasha and Thor froze, staring at Steve with wide eyes. 

Steve swallowed hard and tightened his grip. He didn’t have time to process what this meant. Didn’t have time to be shocked. He just turned and—

SLAM

With a mighty swing, he smashed Mjolnir to the ground. The shockwave blasted outward, throwing Natasha and Thor into some kind of cellar. It was enough. 

“Bucky, go!” Steve yelled. 

But Bucky wasn’t moving. His eyes were locked on Steve, wide and dark with something raw. Reverence. Fear. Love.

Steve didn’t hesitate. He grabbed Bucky’s wrist, hauling him down the alley. 

Behind them, Thor was already back on his feet. 

Steve turned and in one swift motion shoved Mjolnir’s handle through the cellar handles, trapping Thor and Natasha inside. 

Bucky gaped at him. 

“Steve, you’re not safe with him!” Natasha yelled. 

“Friend Steven we are trying to help!” Thor pounded against the cellar doors. 

Wiping sweat from his brow, Steve apologized to the Avengers. “Sorry, but you don’t have a fuckin’ clue!”

With that, Bucky and he ran. 

*** 

Steve sat on the edge of the lumpy motel bed, cradling Peggy against his chest. The weight of their situation felt it would crush them, destroy them… The fucking Avengers were after them! But why? Did Tony—? No, it didn’t make sense. None of this did.

Bucky hadn’t said a word since they checked in. He paced, movements stiff and tense, like he was fighting something inside himself.

Steve couldn’t take it anymore. He needed answers. Carefully, he placed Peggy in the crib the front desk had provided. She slept so peacefully, oblivious to the chaos around them. A sliver of normalcy—but nothing about this was normal.

Turning to Bucky, Steve crossed his arms, voice soft but urgent. “Buck, talk to me.”

Bucky froze, back still to Steve. Shoulders tight. Head down. “I should’ve never gotten you mixed up in all this.” His voice cracked.

“Mixed up in what?” Steve asked, confusion tightening his chest. “Why did the Avengers attack us?”

Bucky finally turned, raking a hand through his hair. “There’s something you don’t know. Something I should’ve told you a long time ago.”

A chill ran down Steve’s spine. “Bucky, whatever it is, we’ll figure it out together. You’re not alone.”

Bucky looked at him then—really looked at him. But it wasn’t the man Steve loved staring back. There was something darker, something haunted in his eyes.

“I’m not the man you think I am, Steve.”

Steve’s heart clenched. “I know exactly who you are.”

Bucky shook his head. “I’ve done things, Stevie. Things you wouldn’t believe. I’ve hurt people. Killed them.”

Steve swallowed hard. “Y-You were a soldier.”

“I was in… World War II.”

Steve let out a breathless chuckle—until it died in his throat. Bucky wasn’t joking.

“That’s not possible,” Steve whispered.

Bucky’s face twisted. “I’m ninety-six years old.”

Steve took a step back. “No… that’s not—”

“I was born in 1917 and grew up during the Great Depression. I dropped out of college to work as a mechanic so my sisters could stay in school. I was too much of a coward to volunteer for the war, but then I got drafted. They sent me to the 107th, and I did my best. I was a damn good sniper, loved my men as if they were my own brothers—but war changes you. We were captured, tortured. Experimented on. I didn’t know it then, but they were turning me into this.” Bucky gestured to himself. “Somehow, I got us out, and we kept fighting. Then I fell off that damn train. I thought it was over. But Hydra found me. If I thought Azanzo was bad… it was nothing compared to Siberia. They erased who I was and turned me into something else. I wasn’t a person anymore. I was an asset. The Winter Soldier.”

The words slammed into Steve like a fist to the gut. He remembered watching the Battle of Triskelion on the news. The helicarriers exploding… The Avengers fighting Hydra…

Bucky’s hands trembled as he took a step closer. “I did what I was told. It was the only way to stop the pain. I didn’t know my name. I didn’t remember my family. But it was my hands—me—who killed them, Stevie. So many people who didn’t deserve it. I—I killed her.”

Steve’s breath hitched. “H-Her?”

Bucky dropped his head, refusing to meet his gaze. “Peggy Stark.”

Steve recoiled. “No. No, Bucky, you couldn’t have—” His mind spun. Howard’s wife. Tony’s mother. Peggy’s grandmother.

“I didn’t recognize her.” Bucky’s voice was barely above a whisper. “They ordered me to kill her, so I did. I didn’t remember we were friends. That I fought with the Howlies. That I tinkered with Howard. T-That I strategized with Peggy.”

Steve felt like the ground was crumbling beneath him. “Bucky, I—I don’t know what to say.”

Bucky finally looked up, tears streaking his face. “I ain’t asking for forgiveness. I don’t expect you to understand. But I should’ve told you. After Triskelion, I had a chance to run. I didn’t have my memories back, but I knew I didn’t wanna fight anymore. I was gonna disappear—but then I found you and Peggy.”

Steve’s breath shuddered. His heart should have been telling him to run because Bucky lied to him. A lie of omission was still a lie… He should grab Peggy and run as far away as possible. But instead, all he felt was the aching, overwhelming need to hold Bucky.

Bucky reached for him—then hesitated—his hand curling tight. “I have to flee the country. The Avengers won’t stop coming for me. Tony wants me dead, and I can’t even blame him. I hate him for what he did to you, but I killed his mom.” His voice broke. “But you and Peggy don’t deserve to be dragged into my mess. You deserve a normal life. A life without me.”

Steve’s anger flared. “Stop. You’re not leaving me.”

“I have to.” Bucky’s voice cracked. “You almost got hurt tonight because of me.”

“But we didn’t!” Steve surged forward, grabbing Bucky by the collar and yanking him into a kiss. It was desperate, full of everything he couldn’t say. “I love you, James. Bucky. Winter—whatever the hell your name is. Peggy and I weren’t living before you—we were just surviving. We need you.”

Bucky squeezed his eyes shut. “It’s only a matter of time till they get me, Stevie.”

“Please…” Steve whispered. “Don’t leave.”

Bucky shook his head, eyes filled with anguish. “I love you. But this is the only way to keep you safe.”

Steve set his jaw. “I won’t let you! If you try to leave me, I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth, till the end of the line.”

Bucky met his gaze, and for a moment—just a moment—Steve saw something raw. Longing.

“You don’t get it,” Bucky rasped. “If you stay with me, you’ll be in danger constantly. I’m not the man I was. I thought I could have a normal life with you, but I was a goddamned fool. I can’t go back to who I was, can’t be somebody else, either.”

Steve closed the distance, pressing a hand against Bucky’s chest, feeling the frantic beating of his heart. “I don’t care.” His voice was thick with emotion. “I don’t care what you were. I care about who you are now. You’re not the Winter Soldier. You’re mine.”

Bucky swallowed hard, his gaze flickering to Peggy, still sleeping peacefully. “I’m not safe, Stevie. I could hurt you. I could hurt Peggy.”

Steve cupped Bucky’s face, brushing his lips over his forehead. “You’re not gonna scare me. There’s no way in hell I’m leaving you. I’m not afraid of you. I’m afraid of losing you.”

Bucky let out a shaky breath, then, suddenly, he pulled Steve into a kiss. It was fierce and desperate, filled with everything unsaid. Steve gasped, hands gripping Bucky’s shirt, pouring every ounce of love, fear, and need into it.

When they broke apart, breathless, Bucky rested his forehead against Steve’s. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Yes, you do,” Steve said fiercely. “You deserve everything.”

Bucky’s chest heaved as he pulled away, pushing Steve gently onto the bed. Before Steve could get another word out, Bucky kissed him again—slower this time. 

Steve’s fingers traced the scars on Bucky’s back. Goosebumps rising under his touch as if Bucky were afraid of him.

Bucky paused, his breath shallow, his lips brushing against Steve’s neck.

Steve barely had time to react before he felt the sharp pressure of teeth sinking into his flesh—Bucky had bit him! He’d finally claimed him. Breathing out a sigh of relief, Steve knew he’d never leave him behind now. You didn’t leave your mate; you just didn’t.

Steve gasped. The sting burned, but it wasn’t pain. It was something deeper.

Primal.

Protective.

Belonging.

Bucky growled low in his throat, his breath hot against the fresh wound on Steve’s neck. He licked over the mark, soothing the sting as Steve writhed beneath him.

This was the only way.

If—when—he left, this would keep Steve safe. Instead of being an unmated single mother, Steve would be claimed. Alphas would leave him alone, and Tony wouldn’t be able to hurt him or Peggy anymore. By law, Steve and Peggy would belong to him. And that had to count for something. 

Steve moaned, arching against him, his fingers ripping into Bucky’s back, a marking of his own… “Bucky—” His voice was raw, needy, filled with trust, with love. 

Bucky clenched his jaw. He didn’t deserve that trust. He never deserved Steve. But he couldn’t stop. His hands roamed over Steve’s body, memorizing every inch of him, savoring the heat, the way they fit together. Bucky kissed him again—fierce, consuming, like he could burn this memory into his bones. One last time. He felt the shift coming, the pull of instinct as his body locked with Steve’s, knotting him in place. A low, possessive growl rumbled in his chest as Steve gasped, his body trembling, surrendering to him completely. Bucky clenched his fists, resisting the urge to tilt his head, to offer his own throat. He couldn’t.

If Steve bit him back, it would be final. It would be a bond neither of them could break. 

And Bucky knew—he couldn’t stay. So he pressed his forehead to Steve’s, breathing him in, feeling the heat between them, the connection that was almost everything. But not quite. “I got you,” Bucky murmured, his voice thick with emotion. I can’t stay, but I can do this. I can leave you with this.

Steve sighed, spent, blissed out—but Bucky felt the hesitation in him, the vulnerability. “Let me bite you,” Steve whispered, a hint of fear tinging his voice.

Bucky could feel Steve’s tumultuous emotions. He’d finally claimed, but he hadn’t claimed in return. It went against all his instincts. Did his Alpha not want him? 

Bucky’s heart clenched. He swallowed hard, brushing his lips over Steve’s forehead. “Not tonight,” he murmured.

Not ever.

Steve didn’t fight him. Didn’t push. Just held him tighter as if he were strong enough to keep Bucky forever.

For now, this was enough.

Even if it was only half a bond.

Even if, one day, Steve would realize it wasn’t enough at all. That Bucky’s final gift was the most selfish thing he’d ever done.

Later, as they lay together, Bucky’s arms wrapped around Steve protectively, Steve felt a momentary peace. Despite the world crashing down around them, despite everything Bucky had been through, they were together.

Steve drifted off to sleep, the steady rise and fall of Bucky’s chest beneath him lulling him into a sense of security. But when Steve woke, his hand reached out instinctively for Bucky, but the bed was cold. His breath caught in his throat as his eyes darted around the room.

Bucky was gone!

Steve shot up, the weight of the empty bed sinking in. His heart thudded painfully in his chest. He scrambled to his feet, rushing to the crib. Peggy was still asleep, blissfully unaware of the emptiness that now filled their lives.

“Bucky?” Steve called out hoarsely, as if the name itself might bring him back.

There was no answer. Just the loud hum of the motel’s air conditioning. And the soft sound of Peggy’s breathing.

Steve sank back onto the bed, his hand clutching the pillow Bucky had slept on. It still had his scent… Burying his face in his mate’s scent, Steve inhaled it. A part of him had known this would happen, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. He had talked Bucky into staying. Or so he thought. But now, with the light Bucky had brought into their lives snuffed out, Steve realized that Bucky had made his choice.

And he’d chosen to leave them, to leave Steve in exile…

***

Follow me on Facebook: Facebook.

Check out my website and blog: Freddie Gene (godaddysites.com). 

Follow me on Tumblr: @greekgeek24 on Tumblr or @freddiegene on Tumblr.

Follow me on Instagram: Freddie Gene (@bookswithfreddie) • Instagram photos and videos. 

Chapter Text

“In a perverse way, I was glad for the stitches, glad it would show, that there would be scars. What was the point in just being hurt on the inside? It should bloody well show.” —Janet Fitch

It didn’t take long for the Avengers to find Steve and Peggy. They were still holed up in that dingy motel room, the stale air thick with exhaustion and uncertainty.

Steve sat on the edge of the bed, clad only in a pair of boxers, his scabbed-over mark stark against his skin.

Tony’s gaze locked onto it, his jaw tightening, a growl rumbling low in his throat. That should have been his mark. Steve was his.

But Steve didn’t react. He didn’t flinch, didn’t even look up. His entire world was cradled in his arms—his daughter, sleeping soundly despite the storm raging around them.

“He’s gone,” Steve said simply, his voice flat, final.

Natasha swore under her breath. “He’ll be in the wind then.”

A ghost of a smile flickered across Steve’s face, more defiant than joyful. “You’ll never catch him now.” 

“We don’t need to catch him,” Tony said, his voice dangerously calm. “We have you—his mate.”

Steve glared at him. “You can’t hold me. I ain’t done nothing wrong.”

“You were harboring a fugitive. Well—Harboring is the wrong word, more like shacking up with.”

“Steve is blameless,” Thor interjected, his voice firm. “He is worthy of the hammer, and his heart is pure.”

Tony snorted. “He’s anything but.”

The flight back to the tower felt suffocating. Steve was strapped into a seat, holding Peggy in his arms. The weight of the Avengers’ scrutiny was heavy, each one of them silently assessing him—some with curiosity, others with suspicion. But Tony’s gaze was filled with anger. 

When they arrived at the tower, Steve was ushered inside like a prisoner. Peggy stirred in his arms as they moved through the cold, sterile hallways, her little hand grasping his shirt. Steve had a tight hold on her, unwilling to let anyone take her from him.

He was led into a conference room where the Avengers spread out, but their gazes kept flickering back to him. 

Peggy was wide awake now. Her little face scrunched up, and a soft whine escaped her lips. Her chubby little fingers pawed at Steve’s breast, but Steve had switched her over to solids months ago. 

Her crying was quiet at first, but it quickly grew more desperate. 

Tony shot a look at the baby in Steve’s arms.

Rubbing her back, Steve tried to soothe her, but he couldn’t do the one thing she wanted. 

Peggy’s cries intensified, louder now. She squirmed, wanting to be free of Steve’s arms. 

Bouncing her lightly, Steve tried to distract her. “Shh, it’s okay, baby.”

Tony’s frustration was rising like a thermometer. He was nearly to the red. 

A man—Steve, wasn’t sure what his name was, but he thought he was Hawkeye—leaned over, a look of concern on his face. “She’s teething?”

Steve nodded. “That isn’t it, though. She’s hungry.”

“I think we’ve got some apple sauce and Cheerios. How ‘bout I get you both something to eat,” He offered his voice surprisingly gently. 

Steve’s calm composure, a facade, almost cracked right there. “T-Thank you.” 

He nodded, then turned to leave with Natasha not far behind. 

Thor sighed. “I must consult the seers about what happened last night. I’ll likely be off planet for some time.”

Tony jerked his head in acknowledgment, still tapping away at a tablet. 

Steve almost wanted to call out to Thor, but it was too late. And now, he was alone with him. 

The baby’s cries were impossible to ignore now, echoing in Steve’s ears as she squirmed, clearly uncomfortable. For a moment, the only sound in the room was Peggy’s loud wailing and Steve’s soft reassurances. 

“Shh, baby, we’ll get you something to eat,” Steve cooed, rocking her in his arms. 

“Can’t you calm her down?” Tony asked, his anger making everything worse. 

“I’m trying, Tony,” Steve replied, his patience thinning. “But she’s hungry.” She wasn’t just hungry—she was confused, too. She didn’t understand why they weren’t home, why Bucky wasn’t there to give her, her morning cuddles, why Steve wasn’t choo-chooing her bites of breakfast already. 

The silence between them could have been cut with a knife. Peggy’s soft whimpers were the only sound. Rocking her in his arms, Steve closed his eyes. How had everything gotten so screwed up? 

Tony’s voice cut through the stillness, deceptively casual. “You know, I should dock your pay for this.”

Steve huffed a dry and humorless laugh. “That so?”

“Oh, absolutely.” Tony leaned back, watching Steve as if he were prey; he was sizing up. “You were hiding a fugitive, shacking up with him, playing house—and you dragged my daughter into it. You really thought you could just disappear with her?”

Steve’s grip on Peggy tightened, causing her to cry. His pulse pounded, and his chest burned. “Y-You don’t get to call her that.”

Tony scoffed. “What? My daughter? ” He tilted his head, amusement flickering in his eyes. “Because that’s exactly what she is. Mine.”

“She’s never been yours.” The words came out low, dangerous. “You made sure of that.”

Tony’s jaw clenched. “That wasn’t my fault.”

Steve wanted to scream, to jump across the table and slap that smug grin off the Alpha’s face. “You refused to acknowledge her,” Steve growled. “You aren’t on her birth certificate, and you haven’t paid a dime of child support. You told me to get a fucking abortion!”

Tony’s eyes flickered with something unreadable—something raw—but he smothered it fast. “And yet, you didn’t listen to me. You kept her. And look where that got you,” he said, his voice turning cruel. “Broke. On the run. With nothing.”

Steve exhaled sharply, barely holding back his temper. 

Tony stepped closer. “You think this is a life, Stevie? Hiding in shitty motels, running from the law, clinging to a kid you can’t even take care of properly?” His voice was cold, cutting. “You think she deserves this?”

Steve flinched. Barely. 

But Tony saw it. He pressed in. “You always act like you know best. Like you’re the better man. But let’s be real—The Winter Soldier ruined your life, and you let him. You let him take everything from you. Your job. Your home. Your family.” 

So, that was his plan, Steve thought. He’s gonna fire me. 

Tony let the words settle before his voice dropped into something crueler. “Hell, you probably knew all along what he did to mine.”

Steve’s stomach dropped. His breath caught. Tears welled up in his eyes as he thought of his daughter’s namesake. 

Tony froze, his eyes narrowing. “Holy shit.” His voice was quiet, disbelieving. Then his lips curled. “You didn’t know.”

Steve swallowed hard. “Tony—”

“You didn’t know.” Tony let out a stunned, humorless laugh. His hands curled into fists, his whole body vibrating with barely restrained rage. “You were fucking the guy, raising a kid with him, and you didn’t even know what he did?”

Steve’s throat felt tight, dry. “I swear to you, if I had—”

“Oh, spare me the righteous bullshit, Steve.” Tony’s voice was venomous now. “Because it doesn’t change a damn thing. You still chose him over me. Over her.” He flippantly gestured toward Peggy, his expression hard. “And I’m not letting you do it again.” 

Something about the way he said it sent a chill down Steve’s spine. 

Tony smirked. “You really think you’re walking out of here with her?”

Steve’s breath hitched. 

“It doesn’t have to go down that way, though,” Tony said almost kindly. “All you gotta do is crawl back to me. Because no matter how much you hate me, no matter how much you pretend otherwise—your life still belongs to me.”

A sinking feeling threatened to drag Steve down, but his mama had taught him to never stay down. 

Tony hummed. “And if you refuse? Your pay? Cut. Your house? Gone. Your future? Destroyed.” He let the words settle before grabbing Steve’s face, his fingernails digging into his flesh. “And if you really want to push me, Steve? I’ll take her too.”

“What?” His voice barely came out.

Tony smiled, slow and smug. “You heard me.”

Steve’s entire body went cold.

“You’re an unbonded Omega with no stable income, no legal protection, and now, a history of running around with criminals,” Tony said smoothly. “You really think the courts will side with you?”

Steve’s throat was so tight he could barely breathe.

“I could have full custody papers drawn up tomorrow.” Tony shrugged. “Hell, with my lawyers? She could be out of your arms by the end of the week.”

Peggy whimpered as if sensing the shift in Steve’s scent. His hands shook as he held her closer, sheer panic surging through his veins.

“You wouldn’t,” Steve whispered, but it came out weak.

Tony tilted his head, gaze sharp as a blade. “Wouldn’t I?”

Something inside Steve shattered. “You know what, Tony?” His voice was hoarse but firm. “I quit.”

Tony blinked. “What?”

“I. Quit.” Steve’s chest heaved, rage clawing its way out. “I don’t want your damned money. I don’t want your control. And I sure as hell don’t want your pity.”

For the first time, something flickered in Tony’s expression—something almost hesitant, almost wounded.

But Steve didn’t stop. He took a steady breath, voice unwavering. “You think you own me, but you don’t. You never did.” His grip on Peggy tightened. “And if you try to take her from me?” His voice dropped into something deadly. “I will burn everything you love to the ground.”

Tony’s smirk faltered.

Good. Let him be afraid for once.

Steve turned sharply on his heel, shoving the door open. 

“You’re gonna regret this,” Tony called after him, his voice tense—like he wasn’t as sure as he wanted to be. “Hey, we’re not finished with you!”

Steve didn’t look back. He knew the Avengers could probably find him again, but he wasn’t exactly a threat. He was just a sickly Omega who happened to be the Winter Soldier’s mate. But he couldn’t help them; even if he could, he wouldn’t. He was furious at Bucky for leaving him and Peggy behind, but he still loved him. Steve wasn’t sure what he was going to do now, but somehow, he had to track his mate down, clear his name, and keep his daughter from his abusive ex. It should’ve been overwhelming, but Steve smiled savagely.

Because for the first time in a long, long time—he was free.

***

Follow me on Facebook: Facebook .

Follow me on TikTok: freddiegene (@freddiegene) | TikTok .

Check out my website and blog: Freddie Gene (godaddysites.com) . 

Follow me on Tumblr: @greekgeek24 on Tumblr or @freddiegene on Tumblr .

Follow me on Instagram: Freddie Gene (@bookswithfreddie) • Instagram photos and videos . 

Chapter Text

You lived

two decades

with nothing but your spine

holding you up.

The way light does not care

if shadows follow

you do not have to be wanted

to prove you are real. 

—Natalie Wee

“Breaking news: We have exclusive updates on last night’s violent altercation. The Avengers launched a mission to apprehend the Winter Soldier—Hydra’s infamous assassin, long thought to be a ghost story. Months ago, leaked S.H.I.E.L.D. files confirmed that the Winter Soldier was, in fact, James Buchanan Barnes, a decorated World War II veteran and former Howling Commando. However, this information was kept from the public until tonight.”

A picture of Steve and Peggy flashed across the screen, and Sam nearly dropped his glass.

“For the first time since the Battle of Triskelion, Barnes has resurfaced—and he wasn’t alone. Sources confirm that Barnes abandoned his fugitive life to live in secrecy with an omega named Steve Rogers, an employee at Avengers Tower. Even more shocking, the couple shares a daughter. New footage suggests that during the Avengers’ attempt to bring Barnes in, Rogers aided in his escape—wielding none other than Mjolnir itself. The question remains: was Rogers a willing accomplice, or another victim?”

If Sam weren’t already sick with worry about Steve and Peggy, he’d have the satisfaction of saying I told you so. He’d always known something was off about James.

The man had never truly opened up in group therapy. His trauma, his PTSD—it was written all over him. But one thing had been just as clear: James Barnes was hopelessly devoted to Steve and Peggy.

And now, they were on the run.

His home phone and iPhone erupted in a frenzy of ringing—no doubt the Howlies trying to get ahold of him. Sam was just about to answer when a quiet, urgent knock pulled him from his thoughts. His stomach dropped.

Setting his glass down, he braced himself and opened the door.

Steve stood there, trembling, Peggy curled up in his arms. His clothes were rumpled, his eyes red-rimmed, his breaths coming in short, wheezy gasps. He looked wrecked. “Sam,” he rasped, gripping Peggy like she was the only thing keeping him upright. His entire body screamed desperation. “I need your help.”

Sam didn’t hesitate. He pulled Steve inside, shutting the door firmly behind them before wrapping an arm around his friend.

“Oh, you son of a bitch,” he muttered, voice thick with relief and frustration.

Steve let out a broken hiccup, his body shaking as he clung to Sam. The weight of everything—fear, exhaustion, helplessness—came crashing down, and he couldn’t hold back the tears any longer.

“I told you he was trouble!” Sam couldn’t help himself.

“It’s not what you think,” Steve croaked.

Sam guided him to the couch, letting him sink into the cushions. He was still clutching Peggy against his chest. Her tiny fingers were tangled in his shirt, and her small face nuzzled his neck. Sam sat on the ottoman, rubbing a hand over his face before exhaling. “Alright, man, start from the beginning.”

Steve took a shaky breath. “O-One minute, we were in bed. The next, Thor was dragging Peggy and me out of the house. I-I think the plan was to separate us, but Bucky came after us. We didn’t stand a chance.” His fingers combed absently through Peggy’s soft curls. “Bucky fought back, but it wasn’t enough.” His voice wavered. “And then… I picked up Mjolnir.”

Even though he’d just heard it on the news, Sam’s eyebrows shot up. “Hold up! You wielded Thor’s hammer, really!?”

Steve let out a shaky, almost hysterical laugh. “Yeah. I don’t even know how. One minute, I was just trying to get to Bucky. The next, I was throwing Black Widow and Thor across the street.” He swallowed. “It gave us just enough time to get away.”

“Damn, Steve.”

“We hid out in a motel that night. Bucky had this giant wad of cash—I don’t know where he got it.”

Sam snorted. “I mean, apparently, he’s a Russian spy.”

“He’s not… He’s not what they’re saying.” Steve met Sam’s gaze. “You know the Howlies’ old sarge?”

“Yeah,” Sam said slowly. “News said your boy was a WWII soldier, which, I mean… kinda makes sense, given all the weird alien shit out there.”

Steve let out a bitter laugh. “The Howlies talk about him all the time. When Dum Dum first saw Jamie, it was like he’d seen a ghost. They told me he was Bucky’s great-great-grandson.”

Sam gave him a really ? look. “And you believed that?”

Steve exhaled sharply, rubbing his hands over his face. “I know. I should’ve figured it out. I’d seen Bucky’s picture at the Smithsonian. Heard the Howlies tell stories about him. There was always something Jamie wasn’t telling me…” He sucked in a breath. “A mission went wrong. He drew enemy fire away from the Howlies, and that’s how he fell. They thought he was dead. They’ve spent seventy years believing he died for them.” His voice cracked. “But he didn’t. Hydra found him.”

Sam’s stomach twisted.

“They tortured him for twenty years, just trying to break him. Then they brainwashed him until he didn’t even remember his own name, much less that he was human.”

“Fuck,” Sam whispered. He’d known James had trauma—had suspected it was bad—but this? This was worse than anything he’d imagined.

“They had him for seventy years, Sam.” Steve’s voice was barely audible.

Sam exhaled sharply. “That means he was a prisoner of war longer than anyone in history.”

Steve nodded, eyes shimmering with tears. “Hydra turned him into a weapon. An asset. They pointed him at a target and told him to kill.” His breath hitched. “He killed Peggy Carter and didn’t even recognize her.”

Sam closed his eyes for a beat, nausea rising in his gut. “Jesus.”

Steve buried his face in Peggy’s curls.

Sam ran a hand down his face. “Even if I believe you, Steve, the whole world thinks your boyfriend’s an enemy of the state.”

“He wasn’t in control, Sam. He wasn’t!”

“Okay,” Sam said carefully. “Say I believe you. How the hell are we gonna convince anyone else? And what do we do about the Avengers?”

Steve’s breath hitched. Then he broke. Sobs wracked his slight frame, his shoulders shaking violently. Soon, he was gasping, struggling for air.

Sam cursed under his breath, quickly pulling Steve’s inhaler from his satchel and pressing it into his hand. Taking Peggy, he rubbed her back as Steve took a few deep breaths.

Steve swallowed hard, forcing himself to get the rest out. “H-He bit me.”

Sam, who’d been bouncing Peggy to keep her calm, froze. “He what!?”

Steve met his gaze, blue eyes swimming with unshed tears. “W-We mated.” His voice cracked. “Only… he didn’t let me bite him back. He said he had to leave—that Peggy and I weren’t safe as long as he was around. I-I thought I’d talked him into staying, but when I woke up, he was gone.”

Sam muttered a string of curses under his breath. “Goddamn it, Barnes.”

“And then the Avengers found me. Took me and Peggy back to the tower.” Steve swallowed hard. “And Tony… he threatened to take Peggy away. Said he could have custody papers drawn up by the end of the week.”

Sam growled. “That son of a bitch—”

“I quit,” Steve whispered.

Sam blinked. “You what ?”

“I quit. Told Tony I was done. That I didn’t need his money or his control. Didn’t want anything to do with him anymore.” Steve let out a humorless laugh. “And now? Now, I’ve got nothing.”

“Hey, that’s not true.”

Steve frowned.

“You’ve got Peggy. And you’ve got me. And we’re gonna figure something out.”

Steve swallowed hard.

Sam just gave him a look—one that meant you don’t have to do this alone .

Steve wiped his face and nodded. For the first time since his world had crashed down around him, the crushing weight on his chest lifted—just a little. Having gotten it all off his chest, Steve was exhausted. All he wanted to do was close his eyes and sleep for a week, but he didn’t have the luxury of rest. He had to protect Peggy, and he had to find a way to save Bucky. 

Sam sighed. “Alright, man. You need help—real help. And I might know just the guy.”

Steve’s brow furrowed. 

“Goes by Matt Murdock, hell of a lawyer. He’s actually one of the good ones, and he specializes in impossible cases.”

“I-I couldn’t afford—”

“He won’t charge a single-omegan mother. Like I said, he’s one of the good ones. He’d help you pro bono. I’m sure of it.”

“I-I don’t need charity.”

“Steven Grant Rogers, you’re gonna need all the help you can get. You ain’t got a chance in hell against Tony Stark and his hoard of lawyers. And if we’re gonna prove your boy’s the victim—we need some damn charity. He’ll fight for you and Peggy, and if anyone has a chance against Stark, it’s him.” 

That was all Steve needed to hear. 

The name stuck with Steve long after Sam had left.

Matt Murdock.

He’d heard it before, in passing—whispers about a blind lawyer with the tenacity of a war dog, someone who took on the fights no one else would touch. A man who didn’t just navigate the system but tore through it when necessary.

Still, the idea of asking for help, of relying on a stranger, unsettled him. But Sam was right—he was outgunned, outmatched, and running on fumes. He couldn’t afford pride. Not when Peggy’s future was on the line. Not when Bucky’s life depended on it.

So, the next evening, Steve found himself in a small, cluttered office in Hell’s Kitchen, Peggy nestled in his arms. The room smelled like old books, cheap coffee, and something sharp beneath it—like the lingering scent of a fight.

Across the desk, Matt Murdock sat quietly, fingers lightly tapping against the wooden surface, head tilted as if listening to something only he could hear.

“You’ve got one hell of a fight ahead of you, Rogers,” Matt finally said, voice calm but firm.

Steve swallowed hard. “I don’t have a choice.”

Matt’s lips quirked into something that wasn’t quite a smile but close enough. “Good,” he said. “Neither do I.”

Steve didn’t know how long he sat there, gripping the edges of Matt’s desk as the lawyer laid out their options. Custody battles were brutal enough, but going up against Stark’s resources meant an uphill fight, one Matt was more than willing to take on.

Still, the weight in Steve’s chest refused to ease. He could barely think beyond the next day, the next hurdle. Bucky was still out there, still running, and all Steve could do was hold on and fight the battles in front of him.

The message came through in the dead of night.

An old war channel that hadn’t seen activity in decades crackled to life in the backroom of a Brooklyn bar. The Howlies had always kept an ear to the past, a habit they never quite shook, but none of them expected to use that old radio again.

Dum Dum Dugan nearly spilled his whiskey when the signal came through, distorted but clear enough.

“If you get this—” The voice was rough, familiar as the lines on his hand. “I need you to do something for me. Look after Steve. Help him. Protect Peggy.” A heavy silence, then a quiet, resigned exhale. “I don’t know how long I’ll be gone. Just—make sure he’s not alone.”

The line cut out.

Dugan set his glass down with a thud.

“Well,” Gabe Jones said, rubbing a hand over his face. “Guess we better get to work.”

Morita, silent until now, reached for his coat.

“Where you goin’?” Dugan asked.

“Got a call to make,” Morita muttered.

Jim Morita had always done what needed to be done. During the war, that meant fighting beside Bucky and the Howlies. Now, it meant taking care of one of the most stubborn Omegas he’d ever known. He sat in his car outside a payphone, fingers drumming against the receiver as he dialed a number he hadn’t used in a long time. 

It rang twice before a groggy voice answered. “Hello?”

“Son, it’s me.”

A pause, then a sigh. “It’s two in the morning, Dad.”

“I need a favor.”

Another pause. Longer this time. “What kind of favor?”

“There’s a nurse, damn good one. Needs a job at Midtown.”

His son exhaled. “Dad—”

“Don’t put my name on it,” Morita cut in. “Just… see what you can do.”

A beat of silence, then, “Alright.”

Morita hung up, rubbing a hand down his face. One problem down. A hundred more to go.

***

Follow me on Facebook: Facebook.

Check out my website and blog: Freddie Gene (godaddysites.com). 

Follow me on Tumblr: @greekgeek24 on Tumblr or @freddiegene on Tumblr.

Follow me on Instagram: Freddie Gene (@bookswithfreddie) • Instagram photos and videos. 

Chapter Text

“Yet for all its coldness, 

there’s a tenderness in winter too,

making us cover

what we can no longer bare.”

—Carole Glasser Langille 

“You didn’t say your favor was Steve Rogers!” James Mortia hissed. He’d been named after his father and his father’s old war buddy, but right now, that legacy felt more like a burden than an honor. 

Jim Mortia looked smaller than the father James had always looked up to. When he was a child, he’d tell anyone who’d listen, “My father’s a hero.” But now, Jim looked his age. He was tired of fighting, but the war was far from over. “What’s it matter? He’s a damn good nurse.”

James ran a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply. “Have you watched the news? He’s all over it! They’re saying he helped the Winter Solider escape.”

Jim’s face remained unreadable, but there was something in his eyes—something unshaken, resolute. “Son, there’s a hell of a lot more going on here than you think. Cap’s a good man. A good friend. And he needs help,” he hesitated, just for a second, then added, softer. “I wouldn’t be asking if it wasn’t important.”

James wanted to scream. You ask too much. You always have. But then he saw it—the way his father held himself, the exhaustion in his posture. Jim Mortia had never been a man to beg, not in war, not in life. And yet, here he was, not demanding, not ordering—simply asking.

James clenched his jaw. “Fine.”

Jim exhaled, his shoulders sagging just a little in relief. “Thank you, son.”

With that, Steve Rogers was officially the school nurse at Midtown High. At first, he’d wanted to refuse, but Matt reminded him that he needed a good job to prove to the judge he could support Peggy. Steve liked his new job, but he couldn’t help but miss Howard. Steve wasn’t even allowed to visit… 

***

Every step took Bucky further and further away from Steve and Peggy. It was painful as if shards of glass were in his boots. His bond with Steve stretched thinner with every mile, like a thread pulled to the edge of snapping. That invisible string was the only thing anchoring him, the only proof he hadn’t completely lost himself. He could still feel Steve—flares of anger, grief, loneliness like open wounds. It hurt, but pain meant Steve was alive.

Bucky knew pain. He had lived it, breathed it, been broken by it—but this was different. This pain was chosen. Self-inflicted. He could turn back. Fall to his knees in front of Steve and beg for forgiveness. But he didn’t. He couldn’t.

He wasn’t safe. Not for Steve. And especially not for Peggy.

Nothing—not the chair, the cold, the mind wipes—had ever terrified him the way Steve and Peggy screamed when Thor, the fucking god of thunder, held his entire world in his arms. He could still hear Peggy’s cries. Still see the way Steve had fought like a man possessed, like a mother bear with her cub.

He couldn’t let that happen again. He wouldn’t.

Steve would be better off without him. 

Bucky knew that now. It had been selfish to stay—to let things get so tangled, so messy, so real. But goddammit, he loved Steve. He loved Peggy. He loves them still.

He loved their life together—the sacred stillness that made the world feel safe again. Holding Steve close as he slept, his wheezy breaths and cold feet. Peggy’s laughter echoing off the walls of their home, their home… The way her tiny hands reached for him without hesitation, the way her eyes sparkled with trust—never fear, never pain.

He loved making breakfast, fixing leaky pipes, and providing and protecting them. For the first time since the war, since Hydra shattered him into pieces, Bucky had almost felt whole again. Whether they were in Steve’s little apartment or the brownstone they were fixing up together, that quiet life hadn’t been just a hiding place. It was the life he’d always dreamed of. The life Hydra had stolen.

And for a little while… he’d gotten it back.

Somehow, that was the cruelest part of all—to have everything he’d ever wanted within his grasp just to lose it… 

One foot in front of another, Bucky forced himself to keep moving. Each step a lie he told himself: that distance was mercy. That this was for the best. 

Steve would survive without him; he had to. 

Bucky had made sure of it. He’d called upon his band of brothers, the men he’d died for a lifetime ago. 

They’d keep Steve and Peggy safe when Bucky couldn’t. 

He couldn’t think of a way home, of a way back to them, but that didn’t mean he’d given up. One day, he’d find his way back to Steve and Peggy. Until then, he just had to survive. And right now, survival meant staying ahead of the Avengers and Hydra. Survival meant supplies. Weapons. Food. Intel. Anything to give himself a fighting chance.

That’s what brought him to the ruins of a Hydra safe house. His instincts were on high alert as he stepped back into his past. The shadows seemed to shift with memory, and Bucky’s body moved before his thoughts caught up. Muscle memory. Fear memory. The Soldier had been forged in places like this.

Whenever missions ran long, the Asset would be contained in one of these safe houses. Never a relief, only a pause between horrors. Sometimes, he’d be trapped for days, weeks, sometimes even months with the worst kind of handlers: the bored ones. He didn’t want to think about the kind of things they did to him. He didn’t want to remember…

Taking a deep breath, Bucky almost vomited at the sour, chemical stench that clung to the walls. His shoulders shook, his metal hand crushing a shock collar to dust. His eyes darted over the room—it had been picked over long ago—file cabinets gutted, drawers hanging loose, and overturned chairs left to gather dust. Cracked tiles crunched faintly beneath his boots.

Still, he found a few things worth taking—a half-stocked med kit, a matte-black Glock 19 fitted with a suppressor and a full mag, and a few ration bars that tasted like shit but were engineered to keep a super soldier on his feet. Wrappers littered the floor, and one bar was half-eaten, with a couple of bites taken out of it.

But something wasn’t right.

He tossed the bar aside but froze when he heard something. A faint skittering noise, too heavy to be a mouse or a rat… His senses were on high alert as he let the Asset take over. 

The Asset had been trained to infiltrate like a ghost—unseen, unheard, barely real. One of the methods they used was ballet. Not for beauty. For control. They forced him to dance until his ankles shattered. Then they made him do it again. And again. Until silence became second nature. Until pain was just part of the rhythm.

Behind an overturned supply crate, a small shape huddled in the shadows. A boy—no older than four or five—clutched the ration bar like it was his last meal. He gnawed on it, teeth working relentlessly not caring about how much it hurt. 

Bucky knew the feeling. He’d be starved for days before one of the handlers would finally throw one of those goddamned bars at him. They shredded his gums and cracked molars even with enhanced strength. 

But the kid didn’t stop. He looked desperate—like he was scared someone might take it away again.

Then Bucky moved, just enough for his shadow to stretch across the floor.

The boy froze. His eyes snapped up—wide, glassy with fear. Big brown eyes that didn’t blink.

He wore a ragged, oversized hospital gown stained with things Bucky didn’t want to name. The kind of stains that spoke of torture nobody should endure—let alone a child. There were holes, too, torn at the seams, revealing scars a kid should never have. It hung off his frame, bones too visible under pale, malnourished skin. His hair had been shorn, likely because none of the handlers cared to bother with it, but now, it was growing back in uneven tufts—patchy and wild. On the back of the boy’s neck, inked into fragile skin, was a tattoo—an exact replica of the one branded on Bucky’s own flesh. The same number. The same branding. The same fate.

Oh, God.

They were turning this little boy into another Winter Soldier.

Bucky’s stomach didn’t just turn; it revolted. The room tilted, the edges of his vision narrowing as the realization sank in like a dagger twisting between his ribs. He’d known Hydra was evil. He’d lived it. But this? This was rot in its purest form. A baby, barely old enough to read, already marked. Branded. Owned. 

Bucky didn’t move. 

Neither did the boy, except for the trembling. He was shaking so hard that the ration bar in his hand made a soft, crinkling noise with each shiver. His eyes were wide and hollow, too old and too empty for someone so small, like he’d already learned what it meant to be alone and, worse—what it meant to be owned.

He didn’t cry, probably hadn’t in a long time. That would have been trained out of him. 

When he’d first been captured at Azzanzo, after the fall, Bucky had screamed himself hoarse, cried until his throat bled and his lungs burned. He’d begged in every language he knew, clawed at restraints until his fingers split open. Eventually, the silence answered louder than any voice could have. 

But no one ever came.

No one ever cared…

The boy coughed—choking on the ration bar, must’ve gone down the wrong pipe. 

Without thinking, Bucky reached out and gave him a firm smack between the shoulder blades.

The kid flinched hard. But then, his face hardened, and he whipped around fast. A jagged piece of metal flashed in his hand—more rust than edge, but he jabbed it up anyway, wild and terrified.

Bucky caught his wrist with barely any effort, but it still made his heart ache. 

The kid was shaking like a leaf, eyes wide, lips cracked and bleeding.

Bucky let go and stepped back. “I ain’t gonna hurt you, kid. Fuck.” He forced himself to breathe through the sudden pressure in his chest. Somewhat naively, he’d thought that the Avengers would deal with Hydra. 

But this kid was proof they hadn’t.

Hydra wasn’t gone. They were starting over. They’d tried again—tried to forge this boy into another asset. Just like Bucky was broken apart and rebuilt until there was nothing left but obedience, and then they’d left him, just left him here to starve.

The boy was too smart not to know what was happening. He was rationing the food. He’d heard Bucky take the supplies. He’d taken a risk because he was starving—but more than that, he knew it was all slipping away. Everything he’d been surviving on, piece by piece.

When Bucky had come in and begun packing away the boy’s only food supply, he’d taken a risk. But he’d made a mistake, and now he stared up at a ghost, waiting to be punished.

Bucky knew that look; he remembered that look. God help them all, he wasn’t going to let this boy become him. Not if he had to burn Hydra’s grave a second time to make it right. Exhaling through his nose, his mind raced. The smart thing—the safe thing—would be to leave him. Keep moving. A kid was a liability, an anchor that could slow him down.

But Bucky had done a lot of things in his life—things he could never take back, things that left his hands stained no matter how many times he tried to scrub them clean.

He wasn’t about to add abandoning a kid to that list. “Soldat,” the words scraped at his throat. “YA tvoy novyy kurator. Ty poydesh' so mnoy (Soldier, I am your new handler. You will be coming with me).”

The boy’s lip trembled, and a single tear slipped down his cheek.

Then he let out a shaky sigh—relief, bone-deep. He’d done good. He’d survived long enough.

Someone had finally come for him.

“Alright, bud,” Bucky said, carefully reaching his flesh hand out to him. “Let’s get you outta here.”

The boy hesitated before his tiny fingers wrapped around Bucky’s hand.

And just like that, Bucky Barnes had something new to fight for.

***

Follow me on Facebook: Facebook.

Check out my website and blog: Freddie Gene (godaddysites.com). 

Follow me on Tumblr: @greekgeek24 on Tumblr or @freddiegene on Tumblr.

Follow me on Instagram: Freddie Gene (@bookswithfreddie) • Instagram photos and videos. 

Chapter Text

“I still don’t know how to look at my life without seeing an inescapable absence of you.” —Chloë Frayne 

Steve had just dozed off when a shrill cry pulled him from sleep. For a moment, he lay still, hoping Peggy would settle… or maybe—just maybe—Bucky would stir beside him. But the bed was cold. It had been for days now. His scent was almost gone now, but still, the ghost of Bucky lingered—woven into the quiet, clinging to the cotton like a memory that wouldn’t let go. It always hit him like an asthma attack—sudden, breath-stealing. Bucky was gone.

Steve sat on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. For a moment, he just breathed, gathering whatever strength he had left. Then, his hand flailed for the lamp, knocking over a bottle of pills and Peggy’s favorite teddy bear. It was an ugly thing, something Sam had bought at the hospital gift shop the night she was born. 

“Shit—sorry, Boops,” he muttered, squinting against the morning light. 

Peggy was already standing in her crib, face flushed and furious. Her little fists gripped the railings tight.

Steve padded across the soft rug, stretching until his back cracked. “Hey, baby girl,” he murmured, scooping her up. With practiced hands, Steve changed her diaper and gently wiped her down. He dressed her in the soft yellow sunflower onesie—the one Bucky had gotten her what felt like a lifetime ago.  

Whining, Peggy buried her face in the crook of his neck. Her fists batted at his breasts. 

Steve didn’t have to guess at what she wanted. It was the same thing he wanted. Patting her back, he murmured, “I know, baby. I-I miss him, too.”

Funny, really—just a few months ago, Steve had been used to the loneliness. It was familiar, manageable. But now, after Bucky, he didn’t know how to live with it again. Bucky had given him a glimpse of something warm, something whole—a life Steve never thought he was allowed to want.

Omega and pup stayed like that for a while—Steve swaying slowly, forehead pressed against Peggy. 

The nursery was still new. The whole Brownstone was new. But Peggy’s was one of the only rooms that felt finished, with its walls painted a soft, buttery yellow that made the space feel warm even on gray mornings. Tiny bumblebees danced across the walls in playful swirls, hand-painted by Steve. 

In one corner stood a well-loved rocking chair draped with a knitted throw Sarah had made across from a modest crib with pale honey-colored wood. A few stuffed animals and toys were tucked neatly inside. 

There were still flecks of yellow paint on the hardwood floors, stubborn little reminders of a memory Steve couldn’t scrub away. He remembered painting the nursery walls with careful strokes, only for Bucky to come in and immediately flick paint at him with a grin. Steve had gasped, indignant, and retaliated with a splatter to Bucky’s cheek. The playful battle had ended in breathless laughter and a kiss that still lingered like a bruise on his heart.

He could still feel the ghost of Bucky’s lips against his own—soft, sure, tasting faintly of smoked plums and honey. That moment had felt like he’d finally gotten the life he’d always dreamed of. A loving mate and a beautiful pup… Now, it felt like the worst kind of dream, the kind you think came true only to wake up and realize it was all a lie. 

Sighing, Steve turned from the nursery and stepped into the hallway, the creaky floorboards groaning softly beneath his feet. The brownstone was old—charming but stubborn in its age. The crown molding was chipped in places, and the wallpaper in the front hall had begun to peel at the corners, revealing a glimpse of the decades that lay beneath.

The light fixtures were mismatched—some modern, some antique. A threadbare runner lined the staircase, and the banister wobbled if you leaned on it too hard. The kitchen still smelled faintly of last night’s dinner, and a cabinet door hung perpetually crooked no matter how many times Bucky had tried to fix it.

There was warmth in the space, though—not just from the casseroles and comfort left behind by the Howlies, but from the lived-in kind of love that clung to the walls. It wasn’t perfect, but it was home. Or it had been when Bucky was still there…

Now, the silence echoed. Every room felt too big, too quiet. Like the house was holding its breath, waiting for someone to come back.

But Bucky wasn’t coming back. 

“How ‘bout we try some banana and yogurt, huh?” Steve asked. 

The kitchen still held the lingering scent of beans and Vienna sausages—remnants of the Howlies’ care packages. They’d banded together, throwing together casseroles from whatever they could find, with varying degrees of culinary success. The ingredients were questionable, and the flavors left something to be desired. But food was food—and Steve was touched that they’d gone through all that trouble just for him. There were still three mystery casseroles in the freezer.

Peggy made a face and threw her spoon at him. Yogurt hit the fridge. 

Steve sighed. “Pegs, we’ve talked about this. I thought you liked yogurt.”

Apparently, not today. 

“Toast it is.” 

After the breakfast disaster, Steve had to change Peggy all over again.

She cried the entire time—wailed through the outfit swap, kept going as he hurried into his own clothes, and didn’t let up for the walk to Midtown High. It was a shorter walk than the one to Avengers Tower, but Steve craved the routine. He needed the ritual of it—the way the city was almost quiet in the early morning. 

If he were honest with himself, Steve was nervous about starting this new job. He didn’t regret quitting, though he hated the fact that he’d left Howard behind. Howard was the closest thing Steve had left of family… 

 Before he could clock in, Steve had to drop Peggy off at the daycare on the first floor. She’d just about stopped crying, too, her little head tucked under Steve’s neck, but the moment Steve carefully transferred her into the daycare worker’s arms, all hell broke loose. 

Peggy wailed like she was being abandoned in a war zone, reaching for Steve with sticky, desperate fingers. Her face scrunched up, blotchy and tear-streaked, and her cries echoed down the hallway.

The poor worker—Miss Darcy, according to her name tag—gave Steve a sympathetic smile, gently rocking Peggy back and forth. “She’ll settle in,” Darcy said softly. “Transitions are hard.”

Steve signed the paperwork with trembling fingers. He nodded, swallowing thickly. “Y-You have no idea.”

“First day?” Darcy asked.

“Yeah.” Steve blinked, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. “P-Peg’s a little fussy. She’s been worse lately—since our Alpha left us. And she’s never been to daycare before. At my old job, I got to keep her with me. I-If she needs me, please—”

“Of course,” Darcy said. “I’ll even text you updates and pictures so you know she’s alright. Sometimes, this part is harder on the Omegas than on the pups.”

Listening to Peggy scream herself hoarse, Steve doubted it. But who was he kidding? All he wanted was his baby back. But if Steve had any chance of keeping Peggy, he needed this job. Swallowing the ache in his chest at her panicked cries, he took a deep breath, turned his back on his daughter, and stepped inside the nurse’s office.

The nurse’s office was like a yearbook of memories. How many times had he been sent there for an asthma attack or a black eye from a bully? The sharp scent of antiseptic and lemons was overpowering, making his stomach churn. Hanging up his coat, Steve stared at the room—a shadow box of his childhood and now his new beginning.

He rifled through the drawers, memorizing where the medication, bandages, and supplies were kept. But his gaze kept drifting back to the cot. It reminded him of hospital beds, waiting rooms, and nights filled with despair—the night he thought he wouldn’t make it, the night Sarah left him all alone in the world, the night he found out he was pregnant… 

Someone knocked lightly at the door.

Steve blinked and forced a smile for the man standing there. He was the spitting image of Mortia. 

“James Mortia.” He extended a hand. 

Steve stood a little straighter and took it. “Steve Rogers.”  

They stared at each other for a moment. James Mortia couldn’t help the flicker of resentment—his father had pressured him to hire the little Omegan nurse. But judging by the way the Omega shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, it was obvious he didn’t know anything about it.

“I-I really appreciate this opportunity,” Steve managed.

“I’ve heard you’re a hell of a nurse,” Mortia replied, voice neutral but eyes sharp. “I’ve got a meeting upstairs, but Nurse Rogers—just do the job. Don’t make me regret this.” With that, he turned and strode out, leaving Steve alone in the too-quiet office with nothing but the hum of the fluorescent lights and the sound of his own anxious heartbeat.

As the door closed, Steve sat down behind his desk and pressed a hand to his stomach. He felt off. Dizzy. Hollow in a way, food wouldn’t fix.

Probably just nerves. Or sleep deprivation. Or...

He didn’t finish the thought.

Didn’t want to be alone in it.

Didn’t want to name it.

***

Follow me on Facebook: Facebook.

Follow me on TikTok: freddiegene (@freddiegene) | TikTok.

Check out my website and blog: Freddie Gene (godaddysites.com). 

Follow me on Tumblr: @greekgeek24 on Tumblr or @freddiegene on Tumblr.

Follow me on Instagram: Freddie Gene (@bookswithfreddie) • Instagram photos and videos. 

Chapter Text

this isn’t the world

I thought I’d raise you in

and it’s not the same world

I grew up in. 

but if

all the stars ever fall into the sea, 

the rains turn into fire, 

and all the mountains crumble into dust,

you’ve got me. 

until my time is done, 

you’ve got me.  

—Author Unknown 

Steve’s head pounded. He tossed back two aspirin, hoping they’d take the edge off the migraine clawing at his skull. Five minutes into his first day, and he already had no idea what to do with himself. He wasn’t used to having nothing to do, nothing to take his mind off all the shit he had to deal with on a daily basis. 

The nurse’s office still smelled like antiseptic and lemons. The lights were too bright, and the room too quiet. He hadn’t even finished unpacking the supply cart when the door creaked open.

A girl with auburn hair stepped in, half-carrying a boy with silver hair and a sock soaked red at the ankle.

“Uh… hi?” the boy offered, leaning heavily on her. “Teacher said to come here.”

Steve blinked at them, brain still lagging behind.

Right. Nurse. That was him now.

“Come in,” he said hoarsely, clearing his throat. “What happened?”

The girl didn’t hesitate. “He tried to jump the stairs again.”

“Hey—I almost landed it,” the boy muttered.

She rolled her eyes. “You never land it.” She guided him toward the cot with the practiced ease of someone who’d done it a dozen times before. 

Steve’s gaze dropped to the blood spreading at the boy’s ankle. “Let’s get that cleaned up.” He motioned for the boy to sit and started rummaging through the drawers for antiseptic and gauze. His fingers were shaky, slow, and his stomach was churning again. The aspirin wasn’t helping… “What’s your name?” He asked as he knelt to peel down the sock.

“Pietro,” the boy said softly. “And this is my sister, Wanda.”

“I’m not his sister,” the girl corrected, arms crossed. “I’m his twin. That’s different.”

“Right.” Steve nodded faintly as he swabbed the scrape. “Nice to meet you both. I’m—uh—Nurse Rogers. First day.”

“You look like it,” Wanda said, raising a brow.

“Wanda!” Pietro hissed, but she didn’t take it back. Just stared at Steve like she was trying to figure him out.

Pietro flinched as Steve dabbed on the antiseptic. “You’re enjoying this.”

“Deeply,” Steve said dryly. “Try fewer stairs next time.” He taped the bandage in place and stood—too fast. The room swam. He gripped the counter and blinked hard until the dizziness passed. Probably just stress—or low blood sugar.

Before he could shake it off, the door slammed open again.

A girl with intricate braids strode in and flopped dramatically onto the second cot. “I’m dying!” She declared.

“She’s not,” Wanda muttered, not even bothering to turn around.

Steve blinked. “Symptoms?”

“An overwhelming sense of dread,” the girl said, waving her hand weakly. “Also, gym. It’s dodgeball day. I hate dodgeball!”

“Name?”

“Not important,” she sighed, flinging an arm over her eyes. “But my legacy will live on.”

“Shuri,” Wanda said, clearly unimpressed. “You’re gonna fail gym again.”

Steve coughed into his elbow to hide a laugh, then winced when it tugged at something in his ribs.

Wanda was still watching. “You okay?” She asked, suddenly serious.

“I’m fine,” Steve said quickly. Even if he wasn’t, it wasn’t her job to worry about him.

The look she gave him said she didn’t believe him for a second.

About an hour later, Wanda came back. This time, she wasn’t dragging anyone. She walked in slowly, arms wrapped around her stomach, face pale and pinched. She didn’t say anything.

Steve didn’t ask right away. He just helped her onto the cot and handed her a bottle of water. “Too hot?” He asked quietly.

She nodded.

“Feeling weird around people today? Sounds and smells too much?”

Another nod.

He moved slowly, staying in her peripheral vision. He pulled a heating pad from the shelf, wrapped it in a flannel cover, and passed it to her.

“This happens sometimes,” he said gently. “Early presentation signs. Your body’s just testing the waters. You’re not doing anything wrong.”

Her lip trembled, but she didn’t cry. “It’s embarrassing.”

“It’s not,” Steve said. “It’s biology. Boring, normal biology.”

Shuri came in again ten minutes later, coughing so dramatically it deserved an Oscar.

“I am unwell!” She announced, collapsing onto the cot. “I may not survive second period.”

Steve raised an unimpressed brow. “Is it gym again?”

She sniffed. “Worse. PE. They make us run. Outside. In the heat.”

“You know I still have to call your guardian.”

“Do what you must,” she said solemnly. “But I may perish before then.”

Steve let her lie down for the rest of the period. Everyone deserved a break now and then. He didn’t know what she was going through, not really—but some kids didn’t need to be caught. They just needed a break.

So, there Steve was, sitting in his office while Shuri napped on the cot.

The bell rang, sharp and sudden, signaling the start of the lunch period. Steve flinched before he could stop himself. The sound rang too loud in his ears, like a clap of thunder inside his skull. He rubbed at his temple, willing the ache behind his eyes to ease.

Shuri stirred at the sound and peeked one eye open.

“Hey,” Steve said softly, forcing a smile. “You ready to rejoin the other students, or do you want to eat in here?”

“You’d let me?” She asked, blinking at him in surprise.

Steve gave a real smile this time—tired but warm. “Of course.”

Shuri sat up, grinning. “You’re a good nurse.”

“I try,” Steve said, leaning back in his chair. He tried not to think about the nausea still twisting in his gut or the headache pulsing behind his eyes. Just for a little while longer, he could pretend he was fine.

For now, that was enough.

Steve waited until Shuri was settled at the little desk by the window, flipping through one of the coloring books someone had left behind before he slipped out of the nurse’s office and into the hallway.

The school was loud—buzzing with footsteps and chatter as students rushed to lunch—and the noise hit him like a wave. He kept his head down, moving slower than usual as he made his way toward the cafeteria. He picked up two sack lunches and an extra juice box.

He was just rounding the corner when a voice called out, “Nurse Rogers?”

Steve turned to see Principal Morita standing near the office doors, hands in his pockets, concern creasing his brow.

“Hey,” Steve said. “Everything okay?”

Morita gave him a look; the kind administrators always wore when they had something heavy to drop. “Wanted to give you a heads-up about one of your regulars—Shuri Udaku. I saw her name on the visit log.”

Steve nodded. “Yeah. She came in this morning and said she wasn’t feeling well. So, I let her rest through the period.”

Morita’s mouth pressed into a tight line. “She’s been having a hard time. Her father passed away a few weeks before school started. She’s living with her brother now—he’s just barely in college.”

A knot formed in Steve’s gut. “I-I didn’t know.”

“She’s a good kid. Smart as they come. But those are often the ones who struggle the most when life shifts like this. She’s meeting with the school counselor, and her brother’s really stepping up. Her grades are still solid, but… if she keeps showing up to your office? Let her. Sometimes, having an adult with no expectations is better than trying to hold it all together alone.”

Steve nodded. He knew a thing or two about that. “Of course.”

As the principal turned to go, Steve turned down the main hallway and turned left at the sign for the daycare.

Darcy smiled when she saw him. “Is it that time already?” she asked.

“Just borrowing her for lunch, if that’s okay?” Steve said.

“Oh, it’s fine.” Darcy grinned. “She’s been a doll. A little fussy in the beginning, but we distracted her with craft time.”

Steve smiled. He was glad to hear that Peggy was having fun. 

Darcy handed Peggy over. Her bright blue eyes lit up when she saw him. 

He scooped her up, pressing a soft kiss to her curls. She was covered in paint—all over her onesie and her hands and arms.

“It’s machine washable.” Darcy shrugged. “The paint on her skin should come off with a bit of water and dish soap.”

“It’s alright,” Steve said. There’d been a time he wouldn’t have been able to afford finger paints, and it had been so long since he had allowed himself to enjoy art and creation just for the hell of it. Well, he couldn’t begrudge Peg the pure joy of painting. It was something he missed desperately if he were honest with himself.

Juggling Peggy on one hip and a brown bag lunch in the other, Steve somehow managed to open the nurse’s office. 

Shuri looked up, confused. “You brought a baby?” she asked, arching a brow.

“I brought a lot of things,” Steve said, handing her the lunch sack.

A soft knock came at the open door before Pietro peeked in, followed closely by Wanda.

“We stole pizza!” Pietro grinned.

Wanda shrugged. “We’ve got kleptomania, so you have to take us in.”

Steve smiled despite himself. “You three are something else.”

And just like that, the nurse’s office filled with noise—four people and a baby crowded around a few lunch boxes. 

Peggy was in Steve’s lap, gumming happily on apple slices.

And for the first time all day, Steve’s headache faded into the background.

After Steve dropped Peggy off at the nursery, the silence that followed felt unnaturally loud. The warmth and chaos of lunch—Shuri’s soft laugh, Wanda’s dry wit, Pietro’s loud chewing—had vanished like a dream. The nurse’s office was still again, too still.

Wanda had convinced Shuri to go back to class, gently coaxing her with the promise of walking her there. 

Steve watched the two girls and couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride. They were such good kids.

But now, standing in the empty office, his stomach churned.

He barely had time to react before the nausea surged up again, this time tumultuous and violent. He bolted for the tiny private bathroom at the back of the office, flinging the door shut behind him and collapsing in front of the toilet.

He retched hard, over and over, until there was nothing left in him but air and exhaustion. The cold tile pressed against his knees, and the room tilted slightly when he sat back against the wall, breath shaky.

His throat burned, his body ached, and he knew—he knew this wasn’t stress. And it sure as hell wasn’t the flu. 

Trying to get his bearings, Steve reached for the cabinet above the sink. He stood slowly, rinsed his mouth, and opened the mirrored door in search of something that might settle his stomach until the end of his shift.

Instead, tucked behind a box of gloves and a half-used roll of tampons, he found a small pink box.

He stared at it for a long second before pulling it out.

Pregnancy Test.

His breath caught.

The previous nurse must’ve left it behind—forgotten or shelved in case a student ever needed it. He turned it over in his hands, heart pounding so loudly it drowned out everything else.

It was probably nothing, just in his head.

But still, his fingers closed around the box, and he couldn’t bring himself to put it back.

Not yet.

Not when something inside him already knew the answer.

Steve stared at his reflection, pale and shaky, eyes red-rimmed with tears falling down his face. The test sat on the edge of the sink. He picked it up again with trembling fingers and read the result. Still there. Two pink lines—he was pregnant.

A laugh broke from his throat—bitter and broken. It turned into a sob halfway out.  

Of course, it happened again.

An Alpha who swore he loved him, made promises Steve let himself believe—who held him like he meant it, fucked him like it mattered—then left. Just like the last time.

Left him pregnant.

Left him alone.

A single night. A goodbye wrapped in lies and teeth……

Only this time, it was so much worse. Because Steve really thought Bucky was different. He thought Bucky was better than Tony—gentler, braver, honest.

And for one stupid, fragile moment, Steve let himself believe Bucky loved him. That maybe he was finally safe. Finally chosen.

But Bucky didn’t love him enough.

Not enough to stay.

Not enough to fight for them.

Instead, he ran—left Steve in exile, pregnant with a bond that was only half-formed and already broken.

The claiming mark throbbed on his neck like a brand he hadn’t asked for, and all Steve could think was: How could he do this to me? How could he leave me like this? 

He slid down to the floor, knees to his chest, clutching the test like maybe this was all a nightmare he’d wake up from. How was he supposed to do this again? 

His pregnancy with Peggy had almost killed them both. The doctors tried to convince him to abort the pregnancy. After all, he wasn’t meant to have pups, not with his fragile body—heart fluttery, lungs unreliable, ribs still bruised from a coughing fit last week. 

Peggy had come early, too early. Born so small she could fit in the palms of his hands, her skin nearly translucent, her body trembling with each shallow breath. She hadn’t even cried—just let out the weakest little gasp before she was taken from him.

He hadn’t been allowed to hold her. Not even once.

One second, she was there, slick and silent and terrifyingly still—and the next, she was gone. Rushed down the hall in a flurry of shouting voices and sterile gloves, surrounded by nurses and doctors who didn’t look at him when they spoke.

She was in the NICU for weeks. Hooked up to wires and machines, tiny arms splayed under the glow of incubator lights. A tangle of tubes in her nose, a pulse monitor on her foot, and a plastic shield over her eyes to protect her from the harsh blue light.

And Steve—Steve could only watch.

Sitting there day after day, his body broken, his chest aching with milk and grief and terror, staring through the glass and praying to whatever gods might still be listening that she’d survive.

And she had. Somehow, miraculously, Peggy had survived.

But Steve hadn’t forgotten.

Not the silence.

Not the emptiness.

Not the unbearable feeling of being alone in that sterile room while his daughter fought for her life.

And now it was happening again.

Another pregnancy.

Another baby.

Only this time, he was even more alone.

Steve pressed a hand flat to his abdomen, the phantom ache already blooming in his lower belly. He imagined the changes starting already—hormone surges, scent shifts, the bond’s lingering echo keeping his system in overdrive. No Alpha to stabilize him. No partner to scent him when the shakes started. No one to carry him when his knees gave out.

“Jamie,” he whispered, almost a prayer. “Why the hell did you do this to me?”

But he knew better. 

Bucky hadn’t meant to get him pregnant. But he had meant to claim Steve so that everyone knew Steve was taken. But the only way a bond like that stuck was sex… The idiot Alpha had been trying to save them. He just hadn’t stuck around to make sure it worked.

Steve leaned his head back against the wall and let the cold tiles press into his spine. He didn’t know what he’d do. He didn’t know how he’d survive it.

But he knew he couldn’t tell anyone yet because once he said it out loud, it would become real.

For now, it was just a secret.

His secret.

And the tiny life growing inside him—fragile and dangerous and his—would be the only proof left that Bucky had ever really loved him.

***

Follow me on Facebook: Facebook.

Follow me on TikTok: freddiegene (@freddiegene) | TikTok.

Check out my website and blog: Freddie Gene (godaddysites.com). 

Follow me on Tumblr: @greekgeek24 on Tumblr or @freddiegene on Tumblr.

Follow me on Instagram: Freddie Gene (@bookswithfreddie) • Instagram photos and videos.