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Published:
2022-02-02
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2022-02-18
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18/18
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self inserts for the month of love

Summary:

bc we all deserve to treat ourselves<3

Chapter 1: i. romani archaman (fate/grand order) / enjoy the silence

Chapter Text

"One more hug? As a good luck charm?" The current and only Master of Chaldea opens his arms, puppy dog eyeing his friends. Mash, Da Vinci, and Dr. Roman all look at each other for a second, before pulling them into a group hug. Mash had to clean her glasses, and Da Vinci's staff pressed up against Romani's back painfully. A ring felt like it was closing too painfully in under a glove, and Romani smiles as the Master pulls away. 

"...Now, let's begin the final Order. Go get 'em, tiger!" 


&-&-&


A hand reaches up into the darkness of the room, gasps echoing out into the silence. Sweat and tears wet Lucia's body, and slowly, his arm comes back down to rest at his side. This wasn't the first time. Weird and terrifyingly realistic dreams came to him ever since he arrived at Chaldea, even before they knew what the Incineration of Humanity was. Vague, hazy, uncomfortable to both mind and body. But no matter how often they saw these nightmares, he could never get used to it. Lucia's hand lays themselves over his eyes, trying to take everything in. His room is dark, quiet, and it's suffocating. Pained breaths escape his mouth, but the knock at the door takes the sound over.

"Lucia, are you okay?" Light filters in from the hallway as Romani silently steps in. "I though I heard you crying out..." 

"Ah..." Sitting up gingerly, Lucia wipes his tears away to face him. "I... I guess I might've. Bad dream, you know..."

"Oh, I... I see." Romani falters, just ever so slightly. He takes a step, and then another, until he's sitting at the edge of Lucia's bed. "I may have kind of a, uh... familiarity with nightmares, I guess you can say. I don't know exactly what you were dreaming of, but just know I'm right here with you."

Lucia doesn't say anything. They lean into the doctor, slowly, eventually resting their head on his shoulder. Romani doesn't speak again either, instead choosing to wrap his arms around around the other man. Calm, enveloping, comforting. It's still silent in the room, but as Lucia hugs Romani back, any and all residue of the nightmare disappears.

Chapter 2: ii. arsene lupin (code: realize) / beneath the mask

Chapter Text

The moon so bright, though beautiful and tonight full, only serves to shed light on Lupin's fatigued body. 

It's a quiet night, all the hard-working citizens of Britain herself gone to bed. The streets are empty. Nothing but the soft moonlight falling down on the asleep city of London, the only sound being Lupin's near silent footsteps as he walks back home. Yes, the people have gone to bed, but Lupin knows that there is someone still up and awake to welcome him home. Bright warm light makes him squint, just a little, as he opens the door to his shared home. His beloved is in the kitchen taste testing some soup, as they fail to hear him come in. 

"I'm home, mon amour," Lupin wraps his arms around Lucia's waist, careful to not let the wooden spoon fall out of their hands. A soft kiss to the back of their neck, one that makes the other man shiver in delight.

"Welcome home, Arsene," Lucia turns his head around to smile at Lupin. "I'm assuming the heist went well?" 

"Hmhm..." Lupin grumbles into their shoulder. "Well, I pulled it off..." It's unlike him to be so vague, but Lucia smiles as he reaches for the bowls in the cabinet. 

"I see. Have fun with your nemesis?"

"He is nomy nemesis. That damned third-rate detective is nowhere near my level, I'll have you know." Lupin steps back to go to the dining room table, frowning all the way.

"Yes, yes, he is definitely not anywhere near my beloved, cool, handsome, dashing, smart, intelligent—"

"You don't need to be sarcastic."

"I'm making fun of you, but I do really think of you so lovingly, hon." Lucia hands him his bowl and his spoon, sitting across from him. 

"Nngn...! I can't say anything back when you're so honest." Lupin scoops up a spoonful, a red blush over his cheeks.

"Teehee. After all, I really do love you, Arsene♡."

"Wait, what? How'd you do that with your mouth—"

Chapter 3: iii. d.m. (identity v) / words are trivial

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"Nn..." Eyes barely open, only to squint at the light coming in from the door. 

"Oh, dear me, did I wake you, darling?" 

A mysterious man, unknown to most, and a danger to those who do know him. Soft black hair comes undone as D.M. takes the ribbon out of his hair, placing it on his vanity. Not even Lucia was privy to what D.M. was usually up to, but he had often come home late like this. Whether he was secretly a superhero, or had just doomed the world to its end, they did not care. They sit up as D.M.'s arms wrap around them, a gentle kiss to their forehead. 

"I'm sorry to have you wait for me, love. I'm sure you know you don't need to..."

"And I'm sure you know that I won't do that."

D.M. says nothing in return, smiling softly at his beloved. 

"You're like a snake wrapped around my heart, you know." Lucia says, leaning into him.

"How cruel," D.M. lays them down, brushing their hair with his lithe fingers. "...There is nothing I wouldn't do for you. You think I've got you wrapped around my finger, but the truth is..." Lucia's right hand is warm as their lover kisses it, over and over, down their arm. Over their collarbone, their neck, their cheeks. D.M. rests his head in the crook of their neck, finding solace in the warmth of a familiar embrace. "I've always been playing in the palm of your hand."

"Oh, sweetheart..."

"Mhmm," He softly hums, getting up from their side. "Give me another moment, doll. I'll get undressed and ready in a minute."

"Take your time. I'll be right here."

"...Hm," He hovers near the bed for a second more. "...Forever?"

"Yes. Always by your side."

"...I see," D.M. takes his rings off, leaving a simple silver one wrapped around his left ring finger. "I'll hold you to that."

Notes:

i wrote this as genuine but d.m. comes off as slimy and manipulative i'm sorry ToT

Chapter 4: iv. zucca (original character) / superbeast

Chapter Text

"Oh my. Isn't this a lovely surprise to come home to?"

Zucca stops in their tracks, freezing up as they hear their uncle's voice. It was the dead of night, both their parents gone to bed. So, surely, no one would be up to catch Zucca in the act of smuggling a cat in, right...? Well, that was a flimsy fantasy, they admit. They slowly turn their head, dark purple bangs curling in between their eyes.

"Oh, hiya, Uncle Lucia... Couldn't, uh... sleep?"

"No, I just came home from a night on the town. Could you not sleep, little one?" 

Zucca gives a toothy smile in return. It was a moot question—he could very obviously see the gray cat nestled in their arms. They shrug, pulling the cat closer to them. It wasn't like their family would be opposed to them getting a pet, per se, but... To bring one home unannounced and so unexpectedly? ...Well, can't fault them for having some anxiety. 

"...Did you go clubbing?" It was a term another of their uncles used (that damned good-for-nothing melon), though they weren't exactly sure what that entailed. 

"Oh, something like that." Uncle Lucia smiles. It's not unfamiliar, and while it can be described as sus, Zucca knows that there is no malice. "You should get to bed, my little dove. Sleep is important for children, especially in their formative years."

...Zucca supposes it wasn't too surprising. Uncle was always one for darting around the main topic of the conversation, instead choosing to show words of concern instead.

"Yeah, I'll go to bed here soon in a sec," They're at a standstill in the hallway. "...So, uh? You're not gonna tell mom or dad about this, right?"

A wide, sly smile.

"Good night, little pumpkin."

Chapter 5: v. ibis (princess arthur) / after dark

Chapter Text

"You really are a stupid, foolish king."

Lucia doesn't say anything in response, merely laughing without a care in the world. Ibis softly clicks his tongue, looking away from Britain's current king. They were young, had no prior battle experience, and utterly naive. Though, no matter how many times they were told that, they didn't let that stop them. He'd heard of multiple assassination attempts already, yet Lucia lived his life like they weren't even a problem. Right, they were a complete idiot. How could you laugh through a venomous snake in your bed? How could you rescue some mercenary with not even a thought of 'oh, this could be a trap'? How could you constantly bicker with someone who wants you dead? 

"You're a really nice guy, Ibis."

And how could you say something like that...? 

"You just have no self-preservation."

Ibis lived his life as a member of Horta Promessa—a dangerous and powerful mercenary group. He worked for money and nothing else. He could shake hands with a good friend one day, only to stab them mercilessly in the back the next. He was an enemy to everyone, and an ally to none. Not even the rest of the mercenaries trusted him, trying to kill him and usurp him as fast as they can. There was no moment of rest in Ibis' life, no comfort. No safety, no constant. And yet...

"Well, I mean, you're hanging out with me, right? Even though you don't have to. I'd say that makes you a pretty good guy in my book."

Lucia smiles brightly at him. A king so wonderfully ignorant, and yet so blinding. For someone who stands atop of the country of Britain, chosen by the heavens to lead it to glory. Someone who had everything—a family, friends, a soft bed, knights in shining armor, ladies in waiting, even the non-humans were fond of him. And yet. And yet...

Lucia's right hand is soft as it brushes over Ibis' left one. They lean in, slowly, carefully. Ibis doesn't move, closing his eyes in the wake of the inevitable. Soft lips meet his chapped ones, completely innocent in nature. Ibis ever so slightly tightens his grip on his king. 

...Yes, what an utter fool they both were.


Chapter 6: vi. finis (code: realize) / crack baby

Notes:

..........but also i've kidnapped finis out of code: realize and into my own little universe

Chapter Text

Finis watched his sister hum quietly to himself, folding the towels in a methodical rhythm. He was sure that their arms hurt, but a content smile was on his face as he stacked another towel. Well, that's fine, he supposes. As long as he was okay with doing the laundry, then Finis was fine to do the dishes. Their siblings and their parents had gone out to the grocery store, buying their monthly stock of food and snacks and what-have-you. Of course in a household that holds 6 there was going to bed a lot. ...Yes, which is why Finis was doing the chores at home instead of going out and dealing with all that mess. 

Finis was never one for social interactions. They were long, tiring, draining both mentally and physically. It was nicer to stay home and hang out with his older twin, as Lucia takes one stack of towels to go put into their shared room. Two other stacks, one for the older twins, and one for the dads, lay down on the dining room table. Finis picks up the ones for their dads, putting them away nicely in their drawers, doing the same with the last stack. Lucia comes back into dining room, a mute look of surprise on their face. He huffs out a sigh as he looks at them, miming to take out their earbuds.

"You were taking so long, so I thought I'd help out." He says.

"Whaaat, I was almost done, you're exaggerating." Lucia pouts, though not unhappy for the extra hand. "Go finish your dishes, young man."

"I'm not that much younger than you! And I have finished the dishes." Yes, he was efficient and precise when doing something, so chores were anything but a hassle. A proud expression settles on his face as his sister is unable to say anything. Though, he does make a face that screams nothing but unpleased.

"...You wanna clean the bathroom too?"

"Don't put your chores on me!" 

Chapter 7: vii. albedo (genshin impact) / i hear a symphony

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"Mm..."

A dab of yellow.

"..Hnm..."

A stroke of white.

"..Ahnm..."

A painting of sky.

"...Albedo?"

"Yes, my darling?" He says, clearing his paintbrush of blue, going in with it painted brown. He had to get every detail, every little thing that made up his beloved. 

"When can I move?" The pout in Lucia's voice was obvious, and Albedo smirked with the canvas as cover. He couldn't help but tease.

"Just a couple more hours." 

"What?!"

Notes:

dies and blows up

Chapter 8: viii. tamamo-no-mae (fate/grand order, fate/extra) / moon viewing

Chapter Text

"Looking at the moon again, Tamamo-no-mae?" 

It was weird. Even though she said just 'Tamamo' was fine, he insisted on saying her full name. It was like that back then, and it is like that right now. She turns to her master, foxy smile belying her nostalgia. Yes, her master looked the same as always, even in another planet, another time, another universe. He was so meek when she first met him, unsure of his existence or his reason to be. She watched him grow into his own, walking forward into the future, even if it hurt. Her master of the Moon was no more, technically, but Chaldea's master was hardly different. 

"Oh, yes, Master. Moon viewing is oh so romantic, is it not?" Lucia sits next to her, legs pressed up against her own. "There's nothing more... intimate than meeting with your lover under the moonlight, hehe." 

"Well, I mean. I guess..."

If this Lucia was the same Lucia, her Lucia, then he did not show it. As far as Tamamo was aware, this was a completely different human that looked and acted the exact same as someone else. There was no mention of a Moon Holy Grail War. No mentions of Rin or Rani. No mention of the school nurse who gave out bentos. He got along well with Nero and Emiya, playing around with Nursery Rhyme and Francis Drake. Slacking off with Robin Hood and Cu Chulainn, training with and struggling against an unholy trio of Vlad III, Lu Bu, and Li Shuwen. He messes with Gawain for no apparent reason. 

"Jesus, it's cold out here... Tamamo-no-mae, you should get inside before you catch a cold."

"Oh my, Master, I am a Servant. We don't get ill." She supposes that's just like Lucia, to worry needlessly.

"Okay, yeah, but..." He frowns, unsure of what to say. 

"Kyaah, Master, how lewd! You're using that as an excuse to 'warm me up' in bed, aren't you! You sly little fox, you!"

"You're the fox here, though?!"

It's all so nostalgic, all so heart-rending. It's bittersweet, and overwhelming. Though, as she jumps into her master's arms, Tamamo knows she wouldn't have it any other way.

Chapter 9: ix. arthur conan doyle (ikemen vampire) / going down

Chapter Text

"...He must've been really tired. So much for vampire stamina."

Who would've thought a world-renowned artist would sleep at his desk? Well, everybody, actually. 

"So much for me making you some coffee." Lucia sets the cup down, away from the manuscripts littered across Arthur's desk. Pen ink dyed his fingertips as he drooled, glasses still on his face. Ever so gently, Lucia takes them off, setting them aside. A soft smile and loving eyes. They pick up one of the blankets from his bed, laying it on Arthur's shoulders, steadily rising and falling. Not that he would like to admit to being cute, but Arthur was nothing but in their eyes. Not that he would know it, but Lucia leans down to give him a kiss on the forehead before leaving him to his much deserved rest.

Chapter 10: x. arjuna (fate/grand order) / dreaming

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Arjuna didn't want to intrude on his master's sleep, but Lucia subconsciously grabs onto the hem of his outfit, stopping him in his tracks. He assumes they were finally having a normal dream for once, a soft smile on their face as they drool. Arjuna can't help but smile himself, happy with seeing his master content. He supposes he can stay, just a little longer. There are plenty of people out there who'd want to get back at them, so surely they'd need someone to protect them at their most vulnerable, yes? ...Even that is going too far, he admits, but Arjuna finds himself unable to pull away.

"Arjuna..."

...That's a surprise, for sure. Out of all the happy things to dream about, they choose him...? It's weird to think about, and Arjuna subconsciously puts a hand on his face to hide his blush. Weird, yes, but far from unpleasant.

"Arjuna, not there... I'm sensitive, hehehehe..."

...I see now. 

"Master. You aren't dreaming of... those things, are you?" He gently grabs Lucia's wrist, still clinging to him not-so-innocently. "...Expanding sacred domain."


&-&-&


"Did you guys hear that scream?" Mash nearly drops her fork, looking for an answer from the other Servants.

"Oh, it was nothing, I'm sure." Merlin says, with a knowing smile.

"...I don't think it was nothing. I think that was Senpai just now..."

"Well, I guess he'll just have to die and be reborn, hahaha." 

"Merlin!"


Notes:

hehheheheheh arjuna

Chapter 11: xi. kaeya (genshin impact) / supermassive black hole

Chapter Text

A shoulder massage. Freshly picked calla lilies. Finest wine picked from the basement of Dawn Winery itself. Kaeya was used to grand gestures, he supposes, but this is a little weird. 

"What's the occasion, sweetheart?" He asks, placing an arm around his love's waist. Cooking a lovely dinner for him, no doubt. 

"Oh, nothing, really. I just..." Lucia goes silent, focusing on stirring the pot in front of him. "...I don't know. I just want to show you that I love you."

Kaeya doesn't say anything back, but softly smiles in response. Lucia drops the wooden spoon on the counter in surprise as Kaeya pulls them closer to his body, hugging them tightly. He hides his face in their back, embarrassed at how... genuine this all was. He could see the clumsy effort through all of their actions, and it only made his heart warmer.

"Ahh!! The noodles..!!"

He can only wonder how he landed someone as wonderful as them.

Chapter 12: xii. lancelot (princess arthur) / sworn liege

Chapter Text

He knows it might be only to his own benefit, but if he had to choose... Lancelot would pick Lucia as his lord anytime. 

Lord Uther was a great man, and a great king. But did Uther ever so cheekily smile? Or tell white lies just to see him get flustered? Lancelot never carried him on his back, that is for sure. A proper, respected lord of prestige would never be caught dead doing things so childish. And yet... 

It wasn't like he ever intended to stop serving Britain, even if the king died and changed. But when was it that Lancelot truly thought it was fate that brought them to the castle? Was it when they decided to go to war as well? Perhaps when they did go to battle, though it was their first, it was a glorious battle. Maybe it was when Lucia said that they wanted him to serve only them, not out of repayment for the previous lord, or for the freedom of this country. ...It might've even been the night he kissed them. 

"I don't want to be king," Lucia says, as nonchalantly as he always is. "But maybe..." 

A small, but genuine smile. Their hand grasps Lancelot's slowly, frantically, finding comfort in his touch.

"...I guess it's not so bad if I have my own knight in shining armor."

Chapter 13: xiii. lilia vanrouge (twisted wonderland) / kiting

Chapter Text

"Agh, goddammit, Lilia...!! Are you sure you haven't played this damn game before?!" 

"Ahaha, I am but an old man unfamiliar with modern technology," A complete and utter lie, of course. "I had no clue about this game until you told me about it."

Lilia blocks another in-game hit with his owl, making Lucia hiss out another curse. Lucia was a decent hunter, sure, but Lilia was just a natural. It was just so easy to dodge and deflect anything that came his way, even when he was young. Though, that changed when Malleus was born... and once again when he met Lucia. They stop the chase to take a photo, going into the mirror world to down him. They did that at the start, of course, but Lilia was too good at hiding. 

"LIliaaaa... You need to be neeeeeeeerfed...." Even when the photo world ended, they still had trouble finding out where he was. Which gave him enough time to self-heal, and even decode another cipher. The dungeon spawned and opened to him, and victory was in sight.

But there waiting was Lucia. Lilia was already injured, and had no way of healing. Having chosen Eli, there was no way he could pick up a syringe. This was a 1v1, too, so it was only him. He couldn't even get close enough to farm another owl. Lucia laughed a very cliche evil laugh, but Lilia only smirked.

"I've got you now, my pretty."

"Oho, I wouldn't be so sure about that!"

Yes, Lilia hadn't played this game before, so Lucia so graciously lent him their main account to play with. ...Which meant Lilia had one special move at hand, a secret last resort that would for sure make Lucia lose.

The kiss emote.

"Gah..!! Liliaaaa... that's not fair...." Lucia whines, as he predicted, but alas. Lucia steps aside the dungeon, allowing Lilia to win. 

"Haven't you heard?" He looks up from his phone to Lucia sitting at their desk, giving them a gentle kiss. "All is fair in love and war."

Chapter 14: xiv. mitsuhide akechi (ikemen sengoku) / valentine's day

Chapter Text

What could you possibly give your boyfriend for Valentine's Day?

Chocolate, sure, but this was the 1500's, in ye olde Japan, nonetheless. Even if there was, Mitsuhide had, quite literally, no taste at all. Sure, he ate everything Lucia cooked with a grateful smile, but it wasn't like he could actually taste it. Mitsuhide wasn't one for any material gifts, either. Whenever they went out on a vacation, he never seemed to want anything, instead buying stuff as gifts. For Lucia, no doubt, and while the gesture was sweet... Yeah, if Lucia had anything to say about it, it was like they were his favorite... thing...


&-&-&


It was a long day of work, as always, but it never got easier. Nor did the work ever decrease, Mitsuhide bitterly chuckles to himself. Even his palace was just another place to do work, having task upon task upon task. ...Not lately, though, of course, and his pace sped up as he thought of his dearly beloved waiting for him at home. Lucia gave him a light to his life he didn't think he'd wanted, worming their way into his heart in a way no other could. The winter months were cold, but Mitsuhide felt warm as he opened the door to their shared room.

"I'm back, my love—I... what is this?"

Bright red ropes wrapped around all the right places. A pretty bow on their head.

"Happy Valentine's Day♡."

...Not like Mitsuhide knew what that was, but he enjoyed his gift nonetheless.

Chapter 15: xv. bedivere (fate/grand order) / hand kiss

Chapter Text

Bedivere must take care of his lips well, Lucia thinks. 

He's kneeling in front of them, on one knee. Yes, he was eternally a Knight of the Round Table in service of King Arthur. But they were his master, and one he treasured dearly. His lips truly are soft to the touch, but Bedivere thinks his master's hand is also soft. He looks up, only to see a covered, embarrassed smile. Lucia is blushing, but happy. How cute, and Bedivere cannot contain himself.

More kisses litter their fingers, over the back of the hand, and on the palm as well. He grabs the other hand too, giving it as much love and attention. It might not be appropriate for a knight, but for right now, in this moment, he is not a knight with his liege. He is not a servant with his master. As Bedivere stands up, he plants a light, but sweet kiss on Lucia's lips. Yes, for right now, they were just two lovers spending quality time with each other.

Chapter 16: xvi. miyamoto musashi (fate/grand order) / ddr

Chapter Text

"Haah, haah, Musashiiii... Can we do another game... please?" 

Musashi's feet flew across the floor, pressing each step with precision. The screen was just full of red and blue steps, but it didn't hinder her one bit. She wasn't too familiar about much modern stuff, but Dance Dance Revolution seemed to come almost naturally to her. ...Her master and friend, on the other hand. 

Lucia was struggling, that was clear. He never considered himself the athletic type, and even with all that Singularity and Lostbelt experience... Well, DDR still eluded him. Though when Musashi begged to play the game with her, he couldn't refuse. I mean, who could refuse such a cute face like that? Any person with a brain, that's for sure. Musashi twirls at the last step, striking a pose and cementing her win. Lucia had sat down at that point, having given up entirely and catching his breath. 

"Didja see that, Lucy? Pretty cool, huh?" 

"Yeah, yeah... Very cool..." 

"I think I'm gonna become a DDR champion, known around the world! Beautiful and graceful, everybody's gonna fawn over me! Both handsome guys and pretty girls!"

"Aren't you gonna be a perfect swordsmaster...?"

"Hm? Oh, I guess that, too."

"...Can't wait for Miyamoto Musashi to be known as the DDR-saint of Japan..."

Chapter 17: xvii. nero claudius (fate/extra ccc) / wedding dress

Chapter Text

"W.. What? If you have something to say, then say it." Nero pouts her usual pout, and Lucia can tell that she's unusually shy.

"You're so cute, Nero."

"What--!"

Her blush is a bright red, a contrast to her new outfit. The faux classroom was silent sans the two of them, and Lucia smiles softly.

"I'm serious. It looks good on you. Red is your color, but white is equally wonderful on you."

Nero says nothing, looking down at her feet. 

"...Yeah, it's like you're a bride. My bride, haha."

"Well..." She stammers out, and finally looks her master in his eyes. At her next words, it's Lucia's turn to become embarrassed. "I wouldn't mind it. Being your bride."

Chapter 18: xviii. kenshin uesugi (ikemen sengoku) / birthday letter

Chapter Text

If it was last year, then Kenshin would've enjoyed today.


What could be better than a thrilling battle of life and death on your birthday? Or so, he used to think. Now, he is just aching to go home. His beloved, not one for the battlefield, was at home, waiting for his return. And being apart from his other half was something Kenshin absolutely hated, no matter the fact they had the rest of their lives together to spend.

"Lord Kenshin!"

A vassal comes up to him hurriedly, and he expects more battle information. Instead, the vassal delicately hands him a letter with his name scribbled on the top in English letters. He grabs the letter excitedly, opening it up with a passion.

"Dear my beloved Kenshin,

I'm sorry we can't be together for your birthday. But it doesn't matter as much to me, as long as we get to spend time together. 

It doesn't matter what date it is, I will always celebrate your birth. I'm glad you were born, and I'm glad that I was able to meet you.

Forever yours,

Lucia"


If there's such a wonderful reward waiting for him at home, then Kenshin supposes that a birthday battle is not so bad.