Archive of Our Own ^beta

“This club is so loud!” you yelled over to your friend. She furrowed her brows and looked at you.
“What?” she yelled back.
“I said- Nevermind.” You shook your head. She shrugged. Like she cared. She was here for someone to go home with, and you just wished you were at home watching YouTube.
Specifically, Markiplier. Of course, you’ve seen that stupidly funny video Mark put out called, “How to pick up girls at the club.” You grinned. You hated to admit that you had seen that video more times than you could probably count. Just going back to it time and time again when you were feeling crappy or just wanted to laugh at it again.
You doubted that ‘mating dance’, as some called it, ever worked.
Someone bumped your shoulder. You fell into a group of people who gave you a rude look. You looked back and saw the guy with bright blonde hair walk away, not even noticing you had fallen over. Your friend was mixed in with the rest of the crowd. You sighed as another person bumped into you.
“Sorry,” you heard, mostly muffled by the loud dance music. You saw a mess of dark hair hold up his hand as he turned back to the group he was with.
Wait a minute.
“Oh, my balls, you’re Markiplier!” you yelled out. The man turned around at your comment, laughing.
“That I am!” he yelled back, turning fully to face you. You laughed aloud.
“Has the Markiplier mating dance not been working?” you asked. He shrugged.
Then he started doing the dance.
“I don’t know, is it working right now?” he yelled back, moving his arms floppily and grinning childishly. You watched him, barely able to contain your laughter. “Is it working?” You nodded, holding your stomach from giggling excessively. He laughed as he stopped dancing and walked forward to you.
“How can that even work?” you asked loudly. Mark shrugged.
“I don’t know, you’re the one it worked on!” he yelled back. You groaned as yet another person bumped into you. “Do you want to leave? You shrugged.
“Not like I have anywhere to go,” you said. “My friend’s letting me stay at her house. She’s probably left by now, and not back home.”
“Uh... You know, not trying to sound all creepy, but you can go back to my house. Unless you don’t like staying the night with strange people who dance like idiots.” You shook your head.
“No, it’s fine. I’m chill.” Mark nodded. He turned back to his group, which probably contained Wade and a couple other friends. Mark turned away after he hit one of them lightly in the arm, probably because they made some stupid joke.
“We can go now,” Mark yelled at you, the club music somehow louder than it was five minutes ago. You nodded as he lead the way towards the exit. As the music faded more, you sighed.
"And, for further notice, I haven't had any alcohol," you informed Mark.
"That's fine, I haven't either," he replied. You took a deep sigh as you felt the cool air surround you.
“Oh, the air feels really nice,” you said. Mark nodded. He grinned halfway as he led you to his car. It was easy to trust him, and it almost felt like he was a friend you’d had for a long time. It was nice.
“So, uh...,” Mark started as he began to start his car, “I never asked your name, which is kind of weird.”
“It’s okay,” you said. “I trust you won’t, you know, kill me. I’m (YN) (LN).”
“Cool.” You grinned as he drove towards his house, which you found wasn’t too far away. The ride was a comfortable silence, one you enjoyed contrary to the awkward ones you shared with your constantly-partying friend.
Maybe she wasn’t so much of a friend anymore, though.
“And, here we are!” Mark said as you stopped at his house.
“Sorry I’m making you let me stay here,” you said, shrugging as you unbuckled your seatbelt. “I know I could have called my friend, but she wouldn’t answer anyways. Actually, she’d probably yell at me.”
“It kind of sounds like your friend’s a dick.” You sighed.
“She is, but I care about her, and I know she can take care of herself. She’s got martial arts training, I’ve seen her kick at least three guys’ asses.” Mark laughed as you both went inside to go up to his apartment. Once there, he offered you the couch to sit on.
“Um, it’s a little early...,” you said, almost silently.
“What’s that?” Mark asked as he went to grab a pillow from a closet. You looked up from your hands and shrugged.
“I just said it was early was all.” Mark laughed as he threw the pillow on the couch and sat down.
“We can do something,” he said. “Unless you’re uncomfortable, though. Then that’s okay. I have a laptop you can use.” You giggled.
“No, that’s okay. We can talk or something.” Mark adjusted on the couch to cross his legs. His grin was ever present as you watched him.
“Ooh, talking. Haven’t done that with someone in a while.”
“Oh, really?”
“Really, really.” You leaned back on the couch and slipped off your shoes before dragging your knees to your chest. “So, I guess if you want to talk, I’ll start off by asking about, like, what you do.”
“Oh, okay,” you laughed. “I work as a waitress back where I live, but because I’m on a little vacation, I get to spend time away from work.” Mark nodded. “Uh, I guess it’s no use asking what you do because I already know.” Mark laughed at that.
“I guess it isn’t.” He bit his cheek, thinking. “Hey, so, with that whole dance thing in the club, you know that was a joke, right?” You nodded.
“I know. It was funny, though. I think it only works with you, though. I mean, the serious dance might’ve worked with anyone, but the weird, mating dance thing only works with you.” Mark let out a hearty laugh and looked at you.
“What the hell is the serious dance?” You laughed.
“You know about Smosh?” He nodded. “They made up this dance called the serious dance, and it’s really funny. You do it when you’re trying to prove you’re serious about something.” Mark raised his eyebrows and now crossed his arms.
“Well, I guess if you’re so serious about it working with anyone, do the serious dance.” You shook your head, closing your eyes.
“I can’t.”
“Then I guess you’re not serious.” You held up your hands and stood.
“Fine.” You grinned.
And you did the serious dance. Mark laughed profusely as you stopped, pointing at him.
“Be quiet!” you laughed at him. “I told you I was serious!”
“You look like-...,” he tried to say, but kept laughing until he finally got out, “You look like a penguin having a seizure!” You fell onto your knees, laughing until tears were at the edge of your eyes.
As you stopped laughing Mark looked at you.
“What?” you asked.
“I’m just going to say it now,” Mark started, “I think the dance worked.” You blinked as your grinned wide.
“You’re serious?” Mark shrugged and stood up.
He did the serious dance.
You were now on the floor crying from laughing, your stomach hurting.
The dance had worked.
No wonder you liked this guy so much.