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English
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Part 9 of Valentine’s 2022
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Published:
2022-02-09
Completed:
2022-02-09
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2,616
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2/2
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Be My Love, Be My End

Summary:

Kakashi has been a rogue Shinobi for years, killing any Konoha shinobi who happens upon him and decides to pick a fight. He doesn't care, they're people who have signed their own death certificate as far as he's concerned.
Today's his last day of killing, and his opponent is someone he never wanted to face.

Chapter Text

There were a lot of ways Kakashi had imagined meeting his end. A whole list of shinobi capable of taking him down occupied his mind, and at night when he struggled to sleep he would imagine all of the possible scenarios and their outcomes.

It was the only thing that kept him going some days. If he wanted to live, he had to train. To prepare himself for the inevitable.

Tsunade-sama with her incredible strength required a speed comparable to Minato-sensei to avoid being struck down with a punch. 

Jiraiya, with all of his skills and sage mode, demanded a perfect tactical plan for survival.

Lord Third was the enemy Kakashi struggled with the most in his scenarios. He hoped old age would take the geezer so that he was never able to hunt Kakashi down himself, and somewhere in the back of his mind Kakashi was thankful that he was Hokage. A Hokage couldn’t go on a mission to hunt missing Ninja.

Even one as terrible as old man Third.

All of that planning and preparation, yet none of it had readied him for the fight he was destined to have.

The one enemy he never wanted to face.

“What are you doing here?” his voice was calm, but inside of his chest, his heart hammered, panicking at the thought of having to fight the man in front of him. 

“I’m here to put an end to your attacks on Konoha Shinobi,” with the same excitement he always had, his opponent threw a hand in front of him and gave him a stupid thumbs-up. “That’s my job as your eternal rival.”

“Eternal Rival,” he sneered. “After all of these years? All the people I have killed!?” His hands were covered in the blood of Konoha’s shinobi. Anbu operatives who had tried to put an end to his life in return for the handsome reward offered for his death. 

Chunin and Jonin unlucky enough to cross his path. The one’s too stupid or too proud to see a hopeless cause in front of them and run for their lives. 

“Eternal means forever,” there’s a softness in Gai’s voice. A chilling reminder of the friendship they had once had. A friendship Kakashi had turned his back on and walked away from, but which Gai still seemed to cling to even after everything Kakashi had done. All of the people he had killed in a hopeless attempt to claim back his anatomy. 

“And if I don’t want to fight?”

“It’s not a choice,” softness gave way to determination. A fiery, fierce emotion that had led Gai through childhood and still seemed to push him forward, even now. “We’re fighting. This ends here.”

Lifting his hand, Kakashi took a moment to examine it. Although he knew it was clean, having just washed it in the river before Gai’s arrival, he still saw blood.

Sticky, crimson red blood clung to his fingers. The result of years of being the weapon Konoha has created and wanted until the day he walked away and became his own being.

His own weapon.

One More Fight

 

His desire to live washed away. Acceptance of the inevitable settling into his soul.

If he was lucky Gai would make it quick. He wouldn’t have to feel this endless, deep pain for much longer. With careful planning and the right attacks, he could ensure that it didn’t drag on. 

There were few capable of killing him, and only one he would accept, no welcome, defeat from.

“Maito Gai,” the name rolls off of his tongue with easy familiarity. A name he could never forget, no matter how hard he tried. “I’ll admit, I never thought I would see the day when you tried to kill me.”

He should have. It seemed so obvious now that it was right there in front of him. The universe had always been unreasonably cruel to him, so why would it give him a break now?

Why wouldn’t it finally give him the opportunity to die and find a sense of peace he had never been granted in life, but at the cost of dying at the hands of the man he loved? The one person he could never bring himself to hate, even when he had come to loath everyone else in existence.

“Don’t pull your punches,” there’s a sorrow in Gai’s words, but no one would see it looking at him. Eyes burning with determination and a confident smile on his face, Maito Gai looked like the picture-perfect definition of resolve. “This is our final battle, rival. No matter what the outcome is, it should be grand.”

A grand battle. That was something he could manage. 

Rolling his shoulders, he took a deep breath and focused on the feeling of lightning crackling between his fingers. 

“As you wish, Rival.”


Blow for blow, Kakashi and Gai matched every step of the way. If they fell short in one area, they more than made up for it in others. Gai’s speed and strength made it difficult to follow his movements, but Kakashi’s ninjitsu and tactical intelligence kept him just out of reach from attacks that would shatter his bones.

There’s also familiarity in their movements. As if they’re five years old again sparing for the first time, or fifteen and trying to get their minds off of the endless missions for just a second. Lost in the adrenaline of a spar between friends.

They’re not friends though, not anymore, and Kakashi can’t help but feel his heartbreak when he remembers that. How he had given up that little bit of good in his life just so he could toss away all of the rotten trash. 

He’s not sure how long they have been going. How many blows they have exchanged, or why Gai hasn’t opened the seventh gate yet and put an end to the fight.

Why Gai has stopped at the sixth gate, even though they’re still evenly matched.

One thing he does know is he’s exhausted. If he doesn’t put an end to the fight quickly, he’ll collapse from exhaustion, and that’s not a risk he can take.

Maito Gai is a fierce warrior. One of the best in the world. However, he’s also Kind. If he’s given the opportunity to leave Kakashi alive he will. Even if it means landing Kakashi in prison.

Death was the only acceptable end. He refused to be a prisoner of the system that had already destroyed him. Picked apart every bit of his soul and tore it asunder so that they could create the perfect weapon. Empty and emotionless.

He had suffered enough at their hands.

Focusing the last of his chakra into his right hand, he listened to the sound of chirping birds erupting through the air while lightning crackled in his hand. The entire fight he had avoided using his Chidori. Refused to add Gai’s blood to his hand, no matter what.

But Gai was pulling his punches just as much if not more than him. Refusing to go in for the kill. Dragging this fight along longer than he needed to, even though when he did strike out at Kakashi he did it with earnest strength. 

That all changed as soon as he saw Kakashi’s Chidori forming in his hands. 

“Finally,” Gai bent down low, preparing for the final strike. “You’re taking this seriously.”

Dirt sprayed up into the air when they moved, covering the field as the two shinobi came in for one final deadly clash.

In an instant, it was done.

Blood splattered against Kakashi’s face and coated his hand. A sticky substance that was all too familiar to his skin, but so much more painful in this instance. At the same time, his abdomen exploded with pain.

The two hard crashed into each other, Kakashi’s hand piercing through Gai’s chest at the exact same time that Gai’s fist broke through his stomach. Bones cracked under the pressure of Gai’s punch, but more than that his skin was broken.

Glancing down at his body, Kakashi ignored the taste of blood in his mouth as he stared at the gaping hole where Gai’s fist had struck him. “You…” A wave of blood came rushing up his throat at that moment, choking him until he was forced to cough it up. It clung to his mask, making it difficult for him to breathe.

“I told you,” his eyes focused on Gai’s face where he was greeted with a proud but sad smile. “This would be…our last battle.”

At that moment, Kakashi finally realized just what Gai was saying. This wasn’t a battle Gai would win and collect a reward from, but a battle that would have no clear winner. Where both of them would die.

“Why?”

The question’s swirl in his mind. 

 

Why give up your life for this? Why become another name on an endless list of shinobi who never made it home?

Why give up your life when you still have so much to live for?

 

“Isn’t that obvious, Rival?” with what little strength he had left, Gai wrapped his free arm around Kakashi’s shoulders and pulled him tight against his body. “If anyone else had done this you would have been alone.”

For the first time in years, tears prickled the edges of Kakashi’s eyes. 

“Gai…” his knees gave out from under him, and Gai followed closely behind. Their bodies crashed to the ground with their arms still piercing each other’s bodies. There are still so many questions running through his mind. Things he doesn’t understand but doesn’t have time to ask.

With what little energy he has left, Kakashi extracts his arm from Gai’s body. The sight of blood splattering on the ground made him cringe for the first time in his life. Once his hand is free, he reaches up and cups Gai’s face, neither of them concerned with the bloody handprint it leaves there on his skin. 

“You should have forgotten me.”

“How could I?” Gai chuckled, turning his head into Kakashi’s hand. An incredible pain shot through Kakashi’s body when Gai retracted his hand from his abdomen, the sound of bones crunching and breaking more with the movement making them both wince. 

The air is cold against his face, and when Gai reaches up to brush some hair out of his face he longs to feel those fingers against his skin. There’s nothing though. His body is already dying on him, and it’s taken the last thing he wanted before he closes his eyes.

“I…”

“I know,” Gai speaks softly, forcing himself closer to Kakashi so that their foreheads are touching. “Don’t apologize.”

Years Kakashi had given up. The precious time he could have spent with Gai was gone because he couldn’t handle the life of a weapon. Because he had allowed anger and bitterness to seep into his heart and push him away from the one good thing he still had left.

If he could turn back the time he would. Maybe it wouldn’t have been as bad as he thought.

Perhaps he could have just closed his eyes to all of the horrible things he had seen and moved forward. Lived his life with Gai by his side smiling that brilliant smile and laughing in his ear.

“Kakashi,” his eyes were beginning to get heavy, but he forced himself to keep them open. To stare at Gai for just a bit longer, as if it would make up for all of the years he had thrown away. “I love you.”

“Thank you,” he’s surprised by his own words, but they’re the most honest thing he can say at that moment. Hardly an appropriate response to what he had just heard though. “Thank you, Maito Gai, for ending this.”

A day ago he would have sworn he could go on forever. That he would keep fighting until every last person in Konoha who had wronged him was dead at his feet. Their life snatched away by his Chidori.

Now, laying in the grass with Gai in front of him, he’s glad it’s over.

For the first time in his life, he can rest. There are no more fights to have. No more missions or surprise attacks. It’s all over.

“I love you,’ he whispered back, finally allowing his eyes to slide close as he curls up into Gai’s body. “I always have.”

Hatake Kakashi has imagined his death many times in his life. He has seen the mangled bloody corpse after a mission gone wrong while he was still fighting for Konoha. Lived through the nightmares of the day Jiraiya showed up and took his life, even with all of his preparations, and imagined how Tsunade would break every bone in his body as if it would bring back every Konoha shinobi he had ever killed.

In all those years, he had never imagined his death to be like this. Laying in the ground with Maito Gai’s arms around him and a feeling of love in his heart. The knowledge that he mattered to someone, just one person, the last thing he would close his eyes forever with.




When their bodies are found, Hatake Kakashi and Maito Gai are curled together in the grass, foreheads pressed together and a peaceful look on both of their faces that hasn’t been seen in years.

When they’re buried, there’s an uproar in Konoha. People who want Hatake Kakashi’s body burned and discarded without ceremony after all he had done to their loved ones. Hiruzen listens to Danzo and the elders explain to him how giving a rogue Ninja a proper burial within their walls would be seen as weakness.

As a sign of softness.

He ignores them. 

Hatake Kakashi might have been a rogue shinobi when he died, but a long time ago he was a hero. A proud shinobi of Konoha.

If that wasn’t enough, Maito Gai was still a hero. The man who had finally dealt with the threat that Kakashi posed to the village, and Hiruzen could think of no better way to honour his memory than to allow him this one final thing.

Burial with the man he had killed.

The man he had given his life to stop, and who anyone with eyes knew he had loved more than Konoha itself.

Chapter 2: Bitter Sweet Ending

Summary:

Just for those who want a short bitter sweet ending for Kakashi and Gai <3

Chapter Text

Death is surprisingly warm. 

There’s no great punishment waiting for Kakashi on the other side, though he’s certain there’s a disappointment in his father’s eyes when he sits by the fire and tells him the story of his life. It’s understandable. 

Who wouldn’t be disappointed that their son turned into a heartless murderer?

The best part of death, though, is everyone’s there.

Minato-Sensei scolds him for the things he did, but he also lifts him up into his arms and squeezes him tight. Kushina punches his shoulder, but in death, he doesn’t feel the pain he expects.

Rin just smiles at him with that soft, proud smile of hers and tells him he did well.

Obito is nowhere to be seen, which alarms him at first, but he forgets about it a moment when he sees who else is waiting for him.

“Gai…” he pushes past the others, rushing towards Gai. 

In death, he forgoes pride and restraint and succumbs to need. A desperate need he had been ignoring for far too long. Gai catches him in his arms with a cheerful laugh and hugs him close.

“Hello, Rival,” Embraced in each other's arms, they dare to laugh. To enjoy what they couldn’t have in life. Forgetting about all of the worries and fears that had once plagued them. “We’re home.”

Home. 

He likes the sound of that.

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