Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

There’s something about the setting sun behind Wangshu Inn that makes Xiao feel at home. What exactly is it? He can never tell. But it calls to him from all over the nation, no matter how far he goes during the day, as if it’s some sort of unsigned contract he has to keep himself to: the sun sets at five, and Xiao watches from the balcony. 

He isn’t always alone. Sometimes,  adventurers or travelers accompany him on the balcony. But they never know he’s there - he keeps himself hidden in the shadows, careful not to disturb or burden them with his presence. Other times, his friends are present, or the few people whose presence he can bear. Morax telling him about his mortal life, Ganyu asking for advice on how to balance her mortal and adeptus life. Barbatos, on occasion, playing the flute or the lyre. Most of the time, the honor goes to Aether and his floating friend, who bring him Almond Tofu and pretend they don’t mind when Xiao’s pain becomes too much and he has to leave. 

It’s always these four - five if he counts Paimon as one. Never together, always one of them at a time. Eventually, Aether starts bringing his sister, and Xiao’s delighted to hear his stories from Fontaine, Natlan and Snezhnaya, and how he finally brought Lumine home. But she never visits on her own, only together with Aether.

He rarely watches the sunset alone nowadays. But the few times he does, it’s peaceful and quiet, and it gives him time to reflect on his past, present and future. These days, he finds himself enjoying the sunsets much more than before. They’re less about escaping the pain for a while, and more about enjoying the orange-golden colors of the sky, and the glittering stars fading into nothingness. Wangshu Inn’s view has always been extraordinarily beautiful; the kind of beauty one might only see once in a lifetime. The mountains paint a dark contrast with the golden sky, casting deep shadows over Dihua Marsh and its surroundings. When the sun starts its descent in the sky, one can see all the way to Qingce village, until the sun dips beneath the horizon and makes place for the starry night to take over. To be able to see it every evening is quite a blessing. 

Tonight, Aether is the one who visits him. 

“Hey, Xiao,” says his friend, offering him a small smile. He looks calm as ever, dressed in his usual attire, hands on his hips. An unearthly shine radiates off him, warping the light from the setting sun around his body, making him glow around the edges. “I’ve been looking for you.”

Xiao makes a swift bow out of habit, spear in hand, covered in blood. He spent all day strolling through Guili Plains, slaying the monsters hidden there, all of them possessed by either demons or his own karmic debt, and hasn’t had time to clean himself up. The enemies had been fiercer than ever before, but it’s nothing he can’t handle. He’s fought gods and monsters alike for centuries - a few hilichurls won’t kill him. 

“I’m here,” Xiao says, making the spear vanish with a flick of the hand. Aether nervously bounces back and forth on his legs, and Paimon doesn’t appear to be present to soften his nerves. “What can I do for you?”

Aether’s smile fades - a rare sight. Xiao hesitantly summons his spear again, worried that something bad has happened. But Aether doesn’t ask him to fight, nor does he warn him of any immediate danger. 

“Um - I was just wondering if you wanted to have dinner together.”

Smiley Yanxiao brings them Almond Tofu and Sticky Honey Roast as dinner, with water and wine on the side. Aether seats them at the very bottom of Wangshu Inn, always respecting Xiao’s wish to stay in quiet spaces. Xiao is immensely grateful for it, and voices out a simple, “Thank you.”

Aether’s smile is back. It’s a pleasant sight, though Xiao can still tell something’s off. Aether’s anxiety radiates off him; it’s visible in the jitter of his right knee, his tense shoulders, and the way he fiddles with his fingers. But he doesn’t mention it, so Xiao keeps his mouth firmly shut. 

“Let me know if you need anything else,” Smiley says. He’s grown much older in all the time that has passed. His once-black hair has turned an ashy gray, and his movements are much stiffer than before. It’s a look Xiao has seen thousands of times before, on countless other men. None of them lived for much longer. Still, Smiley refuses to quit this job, no matter how often Verr Goldet tells him he should take a break. 

“They’ve decorated this place beautifully,” Aether says, reaching for the flowerpot on the table. Before him stands his food, so far untouched. 

“I don’t concern myself with mortal frills.”

“Undoubtedly,” is all Aether says on the subject, twisting a Glaze Lily between his fingers. Then, he continues; “The Lantern Rite is soon. I would like it if you attended this year.”

Xiao feels his frown sink deeper. “Is that really why you’re here?”

Aether merely smiles, returning to his meal and placing the Glaze Lily next to his plate. Xiao knows him well enough to understand he won’t get a straight answer. So he leans back, folding his arms and observing his friend. 

He can’t deny that he’s curious as to why Aether’s here. It isn’t rare for him to show up and talk to Xiao; despite him insistingly telling Aether that staying away from him would be the safest option, he has not listened once. Nowadays, Xiao can expect him to show up at least once every week, if not more often. Aether tells him of his adventures, and Xiao listens. The only thing that’s different now is that Aether has never invited him to dinner before. 

It’s strange, seeing him in such a different setting than the usual one on the balcony. Somehow, despite his regular attire and attitude, he seems off. Almost as if he came to Xiao with unusual intentions. Xiao wants to know, but is aware that Aether won’t share unless he wants to himself. He’s always been reliable that way, following the same behavioral rules he always has. Xiao learned to read him many years ago, and he hasn’t failed to understand Aether since. 

Not that it was an easy process. Xiao supposes the only reason it went somewhat smoothly is because Aether was so incredibly patient with him. From the moment Xiao first suggested they go to Liyue Harbor together up until right now, he’s been nothing but kind, always willing to help and explain subjects Xiao can’t quite grasp. 

Xiao can’t tell when he started to understand Aether. Back then, getting to know him had been such a complicated process that it clouded his mind completely, making it nearly impossible to see the bigger picture. All he knows is that one day, he spoke to Aether about mortal emotions, and he found himself understanding why people felt the way they did. It started with Aether, and then he started to understand Morax, the other adepti, and eventually regular citizens. He still couldn’t imagine himself feeling the way they did, but he knew what they were feeling and why, and that was enough for him.

All in all, it meant that something in their relationship shifted. Aether became a friend rather than just a companion, and every now and then, Xiao longed to talk to him, instead of only listening. Conversations had felt pointless up until that point, and nowadays they spent many nights together, talking to each other about Aether’s adventures and the history of Liyue. Xiao didn’t have many interesting stories about himself, but Aether said he enjoyed listening nevertheless. And if Xiao is secretly grateful when Aether shows up on his own, without anyone else to disturb them, that is no one’s business but his own.

They eat in silence. Without Aether’s chatty buddy, it seems there isn’t much he has to say right now. It’s nice, in its own way. Xiao can’t start a normal conversation to save his life anyway. That has always been, and always will be Aether's role. 

When his plate is half-finished, Aether finally speaks. “How was your day?”

Xiao looks at him. It’s at that exact same moment that he realizes he never ended up cleaning himself. Suddenly Smiley’s apprehensive glances towards him make sense; he must be all bloody and sweaty. 

“Fine,” he says. “How are Lumine and Paimon?”

The conversation feels forced. Something really is different than usual, and he can’t quite put his finger on what it is. Aether places the Glaze Lily back into the bouquet carefully, fingers shaking. 

“They’re okay.” He lets his hand fall, eyes glued to the table. Xiao can practically feel his anxiety as he continues, “I actually wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Go on,” Xiao says. He can see Smiley Yanxiao quietly sneak up the stairs out of the corner of his eyes, always the subtle guy.

Aether doesn’t speak. His shoulders lose the previous tension, falling down pathetically, and he keeps looking at the table, fiddling with the tablecloth. He looks tired - no, he looks sad, and suddenly the puzzle pieces slot in place, as they always seem to do when he’s around Aether. 

“You’re leaving,” Xiao says. He doesn’t know how he knows, but as soon as the words leave his lips, he knows that they’re true. Why else would Aether look so sad? He has everything he could ever want. Maybe that’s precisely the reason he’s ready to leave and move on to the next world. 

Aether nods quietly, confirming his thoughts, and it’s like Xiao’s whole universe falls apart. 

He’s never really liked surprises. In all fairness, there isn’t much he does like. Mortal ideas about feeling affection over one thing or another have never made much sense to him up until meeting Aether, and it hasn’t been long enough since then for him to form his own opinions. To like or dislike, to love or hate - it’s all irrelevant to him, he treats everyone and everything with the same respect and attitude. After all, human lives are short and precious, so what is the point of preferring one over the other? 

But he does know that he doesn’t like surprises, least of all this one. 

Aether is leaving. Aether. Is leaving. 

Xiao figured out he wasn’t from this world a very long time ago. The first clue must have been during the battle with Osial; the adepti channelled their strength and gave it to him, and he survived. No ordinary mortal would have been able to withstand so much adeptal power - not even Xiao himself would have survived. But Aether was fine throughout it all, in fact, he even grew stronger from it.

And then there was the strange golden glow that always seemed to emanate off him. It was best seen during sunset or sunrise: tiny golden sparkles around his hair, the patches in his clothes and his eyes. It was an energy he was unfamiliar with, yet it didn’t feel evil. In fact, it felt warm and comfortable whenever he got close, as if the universe itself was hugging his body. Not to mention that Aether looked at the sky with clear longing in his eyes, always leaning forward just a tiny bit, as if ready to take off at any moment and ascend back to the galaxies above. As if he was familiar with every speck of light in the sky, and the universe above was much more interesting than what was right in front of him. When he told Xiao he wasn’t originally from this world, it had barely been a surprise. Especially not after Xiao realized that whenever he looked into Aether's eyes, he could swear he saw pieces of stardust in them. 

Somehow, though, it had never occurred to him that one day, Aether might return to where he came from. It makes sense now - he only stayed in Teyvat to find his sister and regain his old powers, and now he’s done exactly that. Why would he continue to stay here? He can go literally anywhere he wants, he has no reason to tie himself to Teyvat for the rest of his (long, very long, he must be much older than Xiao himself) life. 

All he says is, “Oh.”

Aether looks almost apologetic, though it’s nothing he should apologize for. Considering everything he’s already experienced, and everything he will experience in the future, Xiao is but a fragment of his life, an irrelevant piece of human experience he shouldn’t concern himself with. Their time together has felt immensely short to Xiao - he can’t even begin to imagine how short it felt to Aether. 

“I knew this time would come eventually,” Aether slowly says. He sounds choked up, and Xiao hates it. How many times has he done this before? How many people has he said goodbye to in other worlds? “These past few months… I’ve said goodbye to everyone. You, and all of Liyue - you’re the last.”

“I see.” Xiao’s throat is dry. He needs water, for the first time in his life. He needs to leave, to find a place to breathe, to watch the sunset and calm himself. Maybe the blinding sunlight will wake him up and he’ll realize this was all a terrible dream. “How long?”

“Two weeks.”

Two weeks. It feels like so much, yet nothing at all. 

“Okay.” Xiao swallows the strange lump in his throat. “Thank you for telling me.”

He gets up, feeling the surrounding air constricting his throat. He has to get out of here. The sooner he starts distancing himself, the better. Keeping his distance now will soften the blow when Aether leaves him. Staying around will make him grow more attached than he already is, and losing him will feel like losing part of himself.

He doesn’t know why he’s so hurt; all of his previous friends have left him, so why does this pain pierce through his heart like never before? You’d think he’d be used to the feeling by now. 

“Xiao - wait.” Aether grabs his wrist, looking desperate and heartbroken. It’s a look Xiao never wants to see on his face again - but then again, if it meant that Aether stayed on this earth, he would want to see it a million times over, just to selfishly have him by his side. 

“Will you go to the Lantern Rite with me?”

And just this once, Xiao can’t say no. 

“Of course.”

~

He remembers the day they first met, so many years ago now. He’d been cold and closed-off back then, always hiding in the shadows or on the roof, and sometimes disguising himself in plain sight. And then, boom, Aether walked into his life and turned everything upside down. Even all those years ago, his presence had been striking, causing a major shift in Teyvat’s natural balance, as well as Xiao’s own.  

He was watching from the railing as an unfamiliar blonde guy walked onto his balcony, accompanied by a strange floating creature. They looked quite springy, eyes wide and lips turned up into wide smiles. The latter had a high-pitched squeaky voice, and said, “Oh? He’s not here?”

The guy didn’t reply, looking around the balcony with a slight frown that turned into a smile as he took in the view. Xiao was well aware that Wangshu Inn overlooked one of the more beautiful areas of Liyue, and so he indulged them, watching as they walked over to right next to where he stood, looking at the starry night sky. 

They were so incredibly focused on the view that they didn’t even notice when Xiao lifted his disguise. A strange sort of force radiated off them - something preventing him from coming closer, and so he kept his distance. It felt familiar, like the chains that had bound him eons ago, or the contract that bound him now.

“To the blind, everything may not be as it appears.”

They visibly jumped at his voice, and the guy took out something golden, holding it up as if defending himself. Xiao had to admire his bravery, though it was pointless in the moment.

“A sigil of permission?” Xiao calmly asked, eyeing the object apprehensively. In the back of his mind, he could feel the pull of his karmic debt, an indication that he should leave as soon as he was given an opportunity. It had been building up in his chest all day, and the timing of his visitors was most unfortunate. “You came prepared. Though this only prevents me from hurting you myself. Doesn’t stop you from getting hurt in other ways.”

The squeaky fairy spoke in that same high-pitched voice. “Uhh… Paimon doesn’t get it…”

“Too much contact with our world is breaking the rules,” Xiao explained, folding his arms. A particular sharp tug of his karmic debt pulled at his heart, and he frowned to cover up the instinct to wince. The blonde person watched him quietly, never attempting to interrupt him. Xiao had never met such a quiet mortal before. 

“Mortal souls are not as robust as those of the adepti, nor can your blood carry this level of adeptal energy.” He shifted his gaze from the guy to the fairy, and then back again. His resolve was crumbling, and dark spots started to cloud his vision. “It’s for your own good. Leave. Now.”

“Wait a sec, we came here to -”

Xiao teleported, leaving them standing in the rainy darkness.

~

The Lantern Rite is only a week away. Liyue is in full preparation, importing fireworks and balloons and all sorts of festive food. The citizens of Liyue Harbor decorate every building in sight, and even Wangshu Inn can’t escape the festive spirit. Verr Goldet decides to decorate the building all the way up to Xiao’s balcony, hanging balloons from the ceiling and pressing a Qingxin flower into his hand when he descends from his room the next morning. It’s useless to him, but since she’s the one who gave it, he decides to keep it safe anyway. Best to cherish it, just in case she decides to leave him like Aether will. 

When he walks back upstairs, he’s greeted by no other than Morax himself. 

He kneels, more out of habit than anything. It’s the proper way to show respect, even if Morax - no, Zhongli - doesn’t care for it anymore. It feels wrong not to show him the same respect he always has. But Zhongli simply tells him to get up, then takes the Qingxin flower from his hands. 

“Good morning, Xiao,” he says, nodding his head in courtesy. “How are you doing today?”

Xiao forces himself to relax and meets his gaze. The mortal form of his old master looks eerily similar to his Archon form, and he idly wonders how no one has recognized him yet. “Everything’s under control. I exterminated the monsters in Guili Plains yesterday. I will continue to keep Liyue safe.”

He can’t lie to his old master. As Zhongli studies him, effortlessly reads him, he realizes every emotion he’s feeling is probably etched into his face. It selfishly makes him wish that he never learned how to feel again. He’s been selfish a lot recently.

“I see he’s told you,” Zhongli says, and he doesn’t have to elaborate for Xiao to know who he’s talking about. “An unfortunate turn of events, yet not a surprising one.”

Xiao musters up the strength to say, “It’s his decision.”

“I have no doubt that it is,” Zhongli smiles at him, sympathy in his eyes. “That doesn’t mean you can’t feel upset, though.”

Xiao hates how well Zhongli knows him. There’s nothing to hide from him, even if he’d tried to cover up his newly-discovered emotions. He can’t even convince himself that he doesn’t care for Aether’s departure, how could he ever convince the man who practically raised him? 

Zhongli’s smile fades as he says, “You should spend some time with him, while you still can.”

“We’re going to the Lantern Rite together.”

“I see.” Zhongli looks proud, calm as ever. “But I meant more than that.”

He hands Xiao the Qingxin flower back, then makes his way towards the stairs. Xiao can’t bring himself to turn around, stubbornly staring at the blank wall in front of him; surely staring at hard wood has less of a chance of making him emotional than looking into Zhongli’s understanding eyes. 

“Just in case my words still hold value to you…” Zhongli then says, lingering on the top step. “...I would recommend you accompany him for a while. Distancing yourself is easier now, but you’ll regret it in the end.”

He finally turns, and Zhongli bitterly smiles at him. “Trust me. I did.”

Xiao finds Aether in Wanmin Restaurant, talking to one of the chefs and smiling brightly. She’s about the same height as him, with long blue hair and a bright orange outfit. The last time Xiao saw her must have been years ago - the one time Aether had called his name, during the moonchase festival. Xiangling, company of Guoba, the reincarnated version of a god he once served. The fact that she’s gained his trust is enough for Xiao to trust her as well. 

“Aether.”

His friend looks up from his conversation, and it seems his smile turns even brighter. Paimon looks a little scared to see him, hiding behind Xiangling’s shoulder. Even after all these years, she can’t get used to his presence. He doesn’t particularly mind.

“Xiao!” Aether says, standing up hurriedly. He makes his way over, looking happy despite everything, and Xiao’s filled with what he can only describe as “pre-missing,” heart aching for things that haven’t even left him yet. He wishes he could stop time even if just for a moment, to have Aether by his side for a little longer. Another selfish request.

He decides to speak before Aether can ask him any questions.

“I want to help you. On your last adventures.”

Aether blinks, mouth falling open in a silent ‘O’. A few moments later, he voices the sound. Then, “Why?”

Xiao can’t say it. There’s a lock in his throat, and the three words sealed away behind it will never come out. Not even if Aether’s leaving, or the end of the world is on its way - but to be honest, those two are slowly starting to sound like the same thing.

Instead, he settles for, “You know why.”

There’s a moment where neither of them speak, and he can swear he sees Aether’s eyes glistening. He doesn’t want to see it. He looks away.

“For how long?” Aether asks, and Xiao has the decency to pretend he doesn’t hear the shake in his friends’ voice. 

Forever, he wants to say. 

“As long as you’ll have me,” he answers instead. 

Aether nods as if confirming this. Behind him, Paimon finally comes out of hiding, floating over to pat his shoulder in reassurance. Xiao fleetingly wonders if she’s going with him to the next world, or if he’s decided to leave her behind as well. In case of the latter, he’s sure Wangshu Inn could be a nice home for her.

“Okay,” Aether says, and he manages a smile. “Let’s go, then.”

Chapter Text

Xiao feels strangely giddy as he watches Aether accept today’s commissions. He thought Aether would take a break from his duties now that his departure is so close, but it seems like he will never stop helping people. Maybe part of him is like Xiao; grasping onto every bit of familiarity and routine, just to be able to avoid direct confrontation with the inevitable truth. It’s the most he allows himself to hope. 

“Monsters near Luhua Pool,” he says to Xiao, handing him a map. “Nothing unusual. Should be easy, no?”

Xiao nods, studying the map. It doesn’t give any information besides what Aether just told him, so he tosses it into the bag Aether is holding open for him. “Hold onto me.”

“Hm?”

Xiao takes his wrist, and begrudgingly Paimon’s as well. “Close your eyes.”

He teleports to Luhua Pool with a flash, ignoring the yelp Aether lets out. They land near the two tall statues, and he can already see the monsters from here. Nothing more than a lawachurl and some smaller hilichurls. Aether saved so many nations out of pure good will, and this is his thanks? Ridiculous. 

“Jeez - Xiao -” Aether stutters out, grabbing his chest. Xiao senses his heartbeat is the same as ever, so he figures it’s more dramatics than real discomfort. “You could’ve at least warned me first.”

Paimon turns in a circle mid-float, looking dizzy. Xiao ignores them, fingers itching for his mask and spear. His karmic debt has been clawing away at him for the past twelve hours, begging to be the center of his attention once again. Maybe Aether senses it too, because he comes over and rests his hand on Xiao’s shoulder. 

“Let’s do it together,” he says, and Xiao can’t refuse him. 

Paimon disappears with a pop as they make their way over to the monsters. It takes only a few moments for them to get spotted; the lawachurl roars, and the fight starts. 

It’s over as soon as it begins. Aether stands amidst the bodies without a trace of sweat or blood on his body, as if slaying several monsters on his own is no big deal. Of course, they had only been hilichurls, but he was greatly outnumbered nevertheless. To come out without even a simple scratch… only Xiao himself is able to do the same. 

“You’ve grown stronger,” he says. Aether meets his eye, and suddenly Xiao realizes this isn’t the same Aether from all those years ago. His experiences in Teyvat reflect in his mature expression, as well as the glowing white pads in his clothes. He evolved from a mere traveler back into the person he was before, just with more life experience. 

“I regained my old powers,” Aether says, though Xiao already knew this. He’d seen the golden-white sword reflecting the light of the rising sun, as well as the warm glow radiating off of Aether - a celestial power, representing the stars and the universe in a single body. It pulsates slowly, the only indication that Aether had put any effort into the fight. 

A sudden uneasiness comes over him as he watches Aether’s proud form. It’s anxious and jittery, and he hates it. He feels an itch to leave again, to run away from the emotions deep within him, with them only recently having resurfaced. He’s not sure at what point he’d learned to feel again, but it must have been recently, as he still feels uncomfortable and confused every time an emotion bubbles up inside of him. 

To feel again… it was relieving, although scary. He’d sealed himself off for eons, driven only by anger and his contract. Days went by in a blur of blood and death, centuries passing without a hint of change. Liyue evolved, Rex Lapis evolved, but Xiao stayed the same, like the only rock in the sea not affected by erosion or tidal waves. And then Aether came, a tsunami in the everlasting ocean that was Xiao’s life, destroying everything to pieces until nothing but pebbles were left. Aether picked him up and put him back together, not as the Vigilant Yaksha, but as Xiao . As his friend. 

He’s always been so incredibly kind to Xiao, it was difficult not to get fond of him, which ended up being the gateway to the changes within him. The moment he decided to try and understand his golden-haired friend more was the moment he felt himself slowly becoming more…. well, human. It was a terrifying process, and only Morax’ and Aether’s comforting words were the reason he allowed it, rather than fled from it. 

“Let’s go to the next one,” he says, interrupting his own train of thought. Aether nods firmly, and Xiao teleports them away once again. 

~

“Why are you here, Xiao?”

Xiao looked at them over his shoulder. Aether was sitting on a chopped-down tree, arms wrapped in bandages, carefully applied by Xiao himself. 

“It is my duty to protect this area. I felt the threat of the Abyss long before I noticed your presence.”

He turned to fully face his companion, folding his arms. He’d been busy fulfilling his usual duties when he noticed a Ruin Guard and two Ruin Hunters chasing after a small figure. It only took a glance at the blonde braid for Xiao to realize it was Aether, running past the sea near Mingyun Village. By the time Xiao was finished with the Ruin machines, Aether laid on the ground unconscious, bleeding from the nose and leg. It took several hours for him to wake back up, and then several more to be able to stand on his own without throwing up.

Xiao observed his wounds, eyes narrowing. “Why didn't you call my name?”

Aether somehow looked embarrassed, scratching the back of his neck. “Ah… sorry. I guess it didn't come to mind in the heat of the moment.”

“There shouldn't have to be a heat of the moment,” Xiao said, the anger in his voice rising slightly. “I made you a promise. Call me as soon as you need help.”

“Hey, we were a bit busy fighting Ruin Guards!” Paimon said, resting her hands on her hips. Xiao didn’t bother to mention that she had done none of the fighting, or that they had barely been able to fight off one before Xiao showed up. 

“Recklessly so,” Xiao said, turning back to watch over the area. He had cleared out all the monsters nearby, but that was no reason to stop being vigilant. “Why would you go searching for trouble in this area?”

“It's a commission from the Adventurer's Guild,” Aether explained softly. “I didn’t know there’d be three.”

He got up from where he was sitting, stumbling over his own feet as he did so. Xiao listened to him shuffling closer in silence, helping with anemo to stabilize him when he got a little too close to falling over again. 

“Thank you,” Aether said to Xiao's back. “For saving me. And staying with me. I know you must have duties to get to -”

Xiao interrupted him. “This is my duty.”

He half-turned to face Aether, arms folded tightly. Up close, he could see the dark spots under Aether’s eyes, and the small scar above his right eyebrow. “You may forget it in crucial moments, but I won't. I said I would protect you, so I did. Don't thank me.”

“Well, then…” Aether said, running his hand through his hair. It was all tangled from sleeping, and his braid was half undone. “Thank you for saving Paimon, at least.”

He walked closer to stand next to Xiao, offering him a brave smile. “I'm usually able to take Ruin machines, you know.”

Xiao coolly met his gaze. “Undoubtedly.” 

“Anyway.” Aether looked away from him, face flushing. “I must be taking up too much of your time. I'm sorry.”

“I'm not leaving your side until you're rested and fully recovered.”

“Oh.” Aether's mouth fell open in silent surprise. It looked rather ridiculous, and Xiao reached out with his hand to shut his mouth himself. 

Aether blinked, then grinned. “In that case… will you please help me with this commission?”

~

It’s been a few hours since they started their commissions, and they’re already done. Aether doesn’t speak much throughout it all, focused entirely on the battles he fights. In any other situation, it would be a comfortable silence, but right now, all Xiao can think of is that they’re wasting time that could be spent talking. 

He doesn’t even know what they would talk about. He doesn’t have many cheerful stories to tell, and Aether has already told him everything that happened in his journey through Teyvat. But there’s something comforting about conversations with Aether he’s never been able to understand. Even when there’s nothing to talk about at all, Aether seems to find the words, easily pulling Xiao in and distracting him from his karmic debt, or the painful memories that plague his mind every day. 

The limited amount of time that Xiao has left with Aether suddenly hits him, deep in his chest. He never thought of the inevitable goodbye when they first met, and wishes he had sooner. That way, he would have cherished their memories together, like Aether showing him around Liyue Harbor, or the very first time they met. He took it all for granted, never truly appreciating how much Aether helped him become more human, even become happier, and now it was far too late. 

Where will Aether go? Will he go to the nearest planet, or back to where he came from? Is there even something like a ‘birth-planet’ for celestial princes, or do they just start to exist at some point, much like the archons in Teyvat? Maybe he’s made completely out of stardust. Xiao wouldn’t be surprised. There’s an elegance to his every moment, his every breath and smile, that he can only associate with a shooting star. 

“You okay?”

Aether walks over to him, effectively snapping him out of his inner monologue. They’re standing atop Mount Aocang after slowly making their way up, getting rid of the monsters on the way. It hadn’t really been a commission from the Guild, but Xiao sensed their presence, and Aether hadn’t protested. Paimon has been absent all day, knowing she’s more of a hindrance than a help in a fight. It allows for some peace and quiet, but it also means Aether has to speak for himself - which is something he’s only recently gotten fond of, and hasn’t done much thus far. 

“I’m fine,” Xiao says, wiping drops of blood from his spear and pretending he was busy with that all along. It’s not a very believable act, but Aether doesn’t mention it. So either he’s somehow, magically, not aware of what Xiao is thinking about, or he’s painfully aware of it and just chooses to ignore it. The latter stings, and he hopes that isn’t the case. 

“You seem on edge,” Aether says, taking Xiao’s spear from his hand to put it down on the ground. If it were anyone else, Xiao would have them in a death grip within the blink of an eye. But he trusts Aether. He’s caught himself letting his guard down around his friend more than once, and he doubts it will ever change.  

Due to some magical reason, Xiao can feel the tension in his body dissipate as soon as Aether touches him. He forces himself to breathe through his nose, breathing in the scent of fresh air and grass. 

Aether smiles at him. “If there’s anything bothering you - you know I’m here for you, right?”

“Not for long,” Xiao blurts out. He didn’t mean to say it so bluntly, and hates the way Aether visibly shrinks. “Sorry.”

“No, you’re right,” Aether says, and he takes a step back. “I’m…”

His gaze drifts to the size and glosses over as he sinks into deep thought. Xiao knows better than to disturb him, so he picks his spear back up and continues his scrubbing. Aether doesn’t move an inch the whole time - Xiao idly wonders if he’s looking into whole other galaxies with those starry eyes of his. 

Clearly not, as Aether speaks again after a moment. “I’ll miss you.”

Xiao barely chokes down the lump in his throat at the three words he’s been trying to desperately avoid. He doesn’t want to hear it. He doesn’t want to face the fact that, despite everything, he’s grown too attached to Aether. And he most certainly doesn’t want to hear that Aether has done the same, and still chose to leave him behind. 

Maybe, one day, he’ll come back and visit. Thousands, or millions of years from now, if Xiao can wait that long. Or maybe he can convince him to stay, and he won’t have to wait at all. 

He’s never felt more selfish in his life. 

“I…” he tries, noticing how strange his voice sounds, and cutting himself off halfway. His tongue curls up in his throat, forcibly preventing him from speaking. Though he knows how to feel emotions now, voicing them is still quite the struggle. 

Aether nods, giving him a brave smile. “I know.”

The sun starts to set behind him, bathing him in a deep orange glow. Xiao wants to look away, but finds it impossible to do so. Aether is no different, holding his gaze for as long as possible until he starts to tear up from not blinking. The usual golden glow around his body seems to have disappeared over time, and the only sign that Aether isn’t from this world at all are the glowing white patches on his clothes. Perhaps if he stares long enough he can convince himself Aether is a regular Liyue citizen who’s only leaving for a few days.

“Can I hug you?” Aether then asks, voice cracking on the last word. It’s something he’s regularly asked Xiao in the past, and not once has he budged. Hugging someone is a boundary he never crossed and never would - it’s bad enough that Aether, or anyone for that matter, stays around him so long without getting close. It’s only a matter of time before his karmic debt corrupts Aether’s mind as well. That is, if they even have enough time left for that to happen.

Today is no different, no matter the circumstances. He gives the answer he always does. “Absolutely not.”

“Damn it.”

~

Aether dreamt of his sister, restaurants, and Paimon. Xiao devoured every bad dream before it got the chance to fully form itself. It was a tiring job, but worth it nonetheless if it meant Aether finally got a good night’s sleep. 

When Aether woke up, Xiao sat outside the tent they had set up the evening before, watching over the area below with his spear in his lap. Far off in the distance, the first sliver of sunlight peeked over the horizon.

Aether stood up and made his way outside, sitting down next to his friend. 

For a few moments, they sat in silence. 

Then, Aether spoke. 

“Did you sleep well?”

He somehow sounded more tired than usual, and it worried Xiao. He was well aware that Aether overworked himself and would never admit to it, and Xiao knew he would push himself to the edge until he inevitably fell off. The way he sat now, shoulders tense and head low, looked like he was getting dangerously close to that exact edge. 

“Adepti don’t sleep,” he said once he found his voice. “I patrolled the area all night.”

The lie felt bitter on his tongue, but it was much easier than admitting he’d looked after Aether all night. There was no point in telling him anyway - Aether would probably only be weirded out that Xiao was able to see his dreams. He hadn’t even told him of his special skill anyway. It’d be strange and desperate to bring it up now, as if he wanted approval or praise, neither of which he deserved.

“When did you return?”

“Two hours ago.”

Aether looked down at where Xiao’s arms were moving. He’d taken off his left glove, and he slowly wrapped bandages around the fingers there. The glove lay abandoned on his knee. For some reason, it struck Xiao at that very moment that Aether had never seen his bare hands before. 

“Are you okay?” Aether asked carefully.

Xiao stiffened, hands pausing in their movements. A small morning breeze made his hair fly up, and he slowly met Aether’s gaze. 

“Are you asking about the effects of my karmic debt?” he asked, eyebrows drawn together in confusion. “No issues. It is of my own doing, so I alone will bear the consequences.”

He returned to wrapping up his hand. His fingers moved gently and with expertise, covering up a deep cut on the palm of his hand. It didn’t look all too well; small drops of blood ran down his hand, and the familiar black-teal smoke of his karmic debt curled around his fingers. But it was nothing he wasn’t used to.

Xiao pinned part of the bandage down, with the wound completely covered now. “I don’t know if it’s related to you, but recently the pain from my karmic debt has been less excruciating. It’s much easier to bear than before. As for any excess concerns… best to leave that for yourself.”

If there was one thing Xiao could always count on, it was that Aether would show his thoughts through his expressions, not his words. Every bit of nasty or unwelcome information would cause his eyebrow to twitch, and the corner of his lips to droop. Good or useful information made him smile, even grin sometimes, eyes twinkling and face flushed. His confused expression was a light frown accompanied by the repeated biting of his lower lip. That was the expression he wore now, gazing at Xiao quietly.

“That’s - I -” Aether eventually stuttered out, struggling to find his coherence, settling on a simple, “That’s great, Xiao.”

“Hm.” Xiao finished wrapping the bandages, putting his glove back on. “I can sense you’re getting too excited over this. Don’t be disappointed when it turns out it isn’t permanent.”

“Has it been… not-permanent before?” Aether asked. Xiao didn’t meet his gaze, looking out over the area below. 

“I have found temporary relief on occasion,” he said, and he left it at that. 

“Well.” Aether cleared his throat. “Then I’ll try my best to make it permanent this time.”

Chapter Text

“You know,” Aether says on the second day, “No matter where I go, I think I’ll never forget the taste of Almond Tofu.”

Xiao looks at him, eyebrows raised. “Really? Almond Tofu? Not the monsters, the archons, or your friends?”

“That too, of course.” Aether rolls his eyes. They’re standing in the middle of Tianqiu Valley, preparing to battle the monsters near the lake of water. Aether had mentioned he liked coming here to fight the Primo Geovishap that resided underground, so Xiao suggested they go there together and fight anything they met along the way. It’s a rather strange way to spend their last few days together, but Xiao quite likes it. After all, it’s similar to what he does every day. It’s comfortable, despite the circumstances. 

“It’s just…” Aether says, his eyes scanning the surroundings. “It’s a unique dish. I’ve never had anything like it. I can see why you like it.”

Xiao makes a mindless humming noise. The conversation isn’t going anywhere - normally, he’d cut it off for that exact reason, but now every second he gets to spend talking to Aether feels twice as valuable. There’s a small part of him that still can’t quite believe Aether is leaving - it has always seemed like he would just be around, no matter what. He can’t imagine how Teyvat will fare without him. He can’t imagine how he will fare without him; Aether was his first true friend after everything that happened, the one person he allowed himself to get close with. Even now, after allowing others in his company, he’s not sure they’ll ever get quite as close as Aether. 

In a way, Aether and him were the only ones who fully understood each other, back when they first met. Even with Xiao’s limited knowledge of other humans, he could see that Aether was similar to him in many ways, always carrying other people’s burdens, with a burning passion to help others. When Aether came back from Inazuma for the first time, he’d told him that Xiao had been the only person to never ask him to solve any of his problems. And Aether had been the same for him, all that time; he never asked Xiao to fight for him, never called his name to use him as a weapon. It was something only the two of them had, and Xiao doubts he’ll ever have something similar with his other companions - Barbatos, Ganyu or even Morax. It feels wrong to even compare them to what Aether is to him. 

“Look over there.” Aether lifts his arm, pointing at three torn-down buildings in the distance, far beyond the monster camp. “Allegedly, those ruins are full of treasure.”

He turns to Xiao, eyes sparkling with clear anticipation. “Wanna take a look?”

“I have no use for mortal treasures,” Xiao says. 

Aether doesn’t even blink as he says, “Neither do I. It’s just for fun.”

Fun ..? It’s been a very long time since Xiao did anything just for fun. He has no time for such things. He has to remain vigilant, patrol Liyue, and fulfill his duties. He signed a contract eons ago, and fun wasn’t written into it. 

“Come on, Xiao,” Aether says, snapping him out of his thoughts. “Have some fun with me, these last few weeks?”

“You’re emotionally manipulating me,” Xiao huffs. “I believe this is called guilt-tripping.”

“Maybe,” Aether’s lips break out into a grin, and he tugs at Xiao’s sleeve. “Is it working?”

Five minutes later, Xiao finds himself at the bottom of the middle building, kicking away at rocks. Aether’s rummaging through his bag, foreign curses leaving his lips. When he finally finds what he’s looking for, he pulls it out with an “Aha!”, hopping back and forth in an attempt at a victory dance. It looks ridiculous - Aether can praise himself on many things, but his talent for dancing isn't one of them.

“Do you really need that?” Xiao asks, eyeing the flashlight in Aether’s hands. “I would’ve thought celestial beings could just automatically see in the dark.”

“You overestimate me,” Aether chuckles, flipping the switch. The flashlight shines up at him from beneath his chin, forming strange shadows above his eyes. “I still have to keep to the rules of this planet, believe it or not.”

“So you could do it if you tried,” Xiao states. Aether merely smiles, stepping inside the ruins. Xiao follows, careful not to slip on the rocks. Once inside, he slowly waits for his eyes to adjust, scanning the room they’re in. Three large pillars support the ceiling, a fourth one torn in half. The other three don’t look stable either, with pieces chipped off and spread out over the floor. There’s barely anything inside apart from abandoned bags, cloths and pieces of rock that have fallen out of the ceiling. 

Aether picks up a large piece of cloth from the floor, and a thick cloud of dust flies around the room as he does so. Xiao has to shut his eyes to protect them from the dust - when he opens them again, Aether has made his way to the back left corner of the room. 

“There’s something underneath this,” he says, pointing the flashlight down. A strange rectangular indentation indicates an entrance to something under their feet. Aether kicks at it, and a small crack forms. He kicks again, and the stone crumbles, revealing a gaping hole in the floor. After a few seconds of silence, a small crash can be heard. Xiao figures it's the stone reaching the floor, which means that it is an unusually long fall.

“This doesn’t look very safe,” he says. Aether looks back at him, smiling softly. 

“Well, I’ve yet to discover something capable of killing me.” And then he jumps in carelessly, successfully giving Xiao a heart attack. He leans over the hole to see Aether slowly disappear, until he hears the landing and a flashlight shines up straight into his eyes. 

“All good!”

Xiao cautiously looks down, focusing his willpower on Aether and letting himself teleport. When he reappears, he’s next to Aether, who doesn’t even look startled at his sudden appearance. Once his eyes adjust to this new darkness, he can tell they’re in a basement of sorts, which looks nearly twice as large as the building above.

“Look at this,” Aether says, turning the flashlight to shine around the room. The light catches onto something gold and sparkly plastered to the wall, and Xiao’s first thought is that it must be a treasure chest. But as his eyes focus, the shape doesn’t match. It’s long and thin, with sharp edges. 

“It’s a spear,” Aether says just as Xiao realizes. “Everything around here… all weapons.”

He turns in a circle, lighting up the room with the bright bundle of light coming from the flashlight. He’s right; everything in the basement is a bright golden color, and looks to be weaponry of sorts. From spears to swords to whips to chains, it’s all there. 

Xiao hesitantly walks over to the golden spear in front of them. It’s cool to the touch, and fairly heavy. His first thought is that something so precious and beautiful must be a trap - maybe it’s cursed, or an illusion created by a demon - but he can’t feel any demonic power, nor does he feel any different when he takes the weapon off the wall. 

Aether shines his light on him. “It looks good on you.”

Xiao twists the spear in his hand, getting familiar with its shape and length. It moves through the air quite smoothly, almost as well as his own. If he were to take a guess, this weapon once belonged to a god that has since passed, or something else related to Celestia. Morax’ weapon was the spear - maybe this had once been his. 

“It’s not as good as my own,” he says, placing it back against the wall. “I’m more familiar with that one.”

“Let me try.” Aether approaches him, handing him the flashlight. “Hold this.”

He takes the spear from where it’s leaning against the wall and takes a few steps back. Xiao has never seen him wield anything other than a sword, so he watches in quiet fascination as Aether spins the weapon around, executing flawless moves. Everything is perfect from his posture to his grip, and Xiao suddenly realizes Aether must be capable of fighting with any weapon of choice. After all, why would someone like him restrict himself to something as small as a sword?

“Spar with me.”

“Huh?”

Aether stops in place, turning to face Xiao. He’s holding the spear upright, and it reaches way above his head. 

“Spar with me,” Xiao repeats, summoning his own spear. “You’re a good fighter.”

“That doesn’t mean you have to fight me,” Aether laughs, a hint of nervosity in his voice. 

“Are you scared I’ll hurt you?” Xiao asks. He proposes it as something of a challenge, and he’s curious to see if Aether will accept it. After all - he’s never backed down from one before. 

“No,” Aether says, lips slowly forming a smile. “I’m scared I’ll hurt you.”

Xiao huffs, “It’s been a while since you’ve wielded anything but a sword, golden boy. Don’t get too cocky.”

“Alright, fine,” Aether says, taking a few steps back. Xiao takes the flashlight and places it on the floor. A sudden, reckless idea comes over him and he listens to it, turning to face Aether. 

“Don’t hold back.” And then he turns off the flashlight with a click, leaving both of them standing in pitch-black darkness. 

It takes two seconds of silence for Xiao to strike. He still knows Aether’s rough position based on pure memory, so he dashes forward, swiping from left to right with his spear. Aether parries the blow, and the clash of metal against metal rings through the basement. 

He swipes again, aiming for just about head-height. If this were anyone else, he would worry that they couldn’t defend themselves properly, but this is Aether, and he pushes Xiao away before he can even get close. 

Xiao realizes Aether is a defensive fighter rather quickly. Only against monsters and other creatures does he go in recklessly - when it’s an actual human opponent, he waits, reading their moves and blocking every single one. It makes attacking him rather difficult, as Aether’s strength is not to be underestimated, and every time he feels their spears clashing, the impact shoots vibrations straight through his arms. 

But Xiao is strong as well. He may not be as old or as experienced, but he trains every day, and he’s more familiar with a spear than Aether is. He’s fast and cunning, and manages to make Aether stumble, despite the darkness. The rush of battle only pushes him to fight harder, adrenaline rushing through his veins, heart pounding. 

Aether finds his footing. 

The next strike gets blocked with a so far unknown strength. Xiao instinctively retracts his hand to stop his wrist from spraining, and in the small moment he takes to move back, Aether makes his move. 

Suddenly, Xiao is the defensive fighter. His eyes have slightly adjusted to the darkness, and the combination of sound and shadow is enough for him to see Aether’s fast moves, slicing away at every opening he gives him. He’s forced to move backwards even if just to avoid the blows, jumping and dashing out of the way as quick as he can. Every time he wants to strike back, he hears the whoosh of a spear, and has to parry another blow. 

A strange, golden glow starts to emit from Aether. Something he’s only seen a hint of before. It looks like pure golden stardust, shimmering around him, illuminating his moves, his weapon, and his eyes. He looks entrancing, arms and legs moving too fast for Xiao’s eyes to catch up. His normally brown eyes seem to shine in the darkness of the room. Slowly but surely, the golden light rises up behind him, until it forms into a blurred shape - six wings behind Aether’s back, rising up proudly as if he were an angel straight from heaven. They’re white and gold and seem to carry his every movement, with Aether barely even touching the ground as he fights.

Xiao stares at what he knows is a small representation of Aether’s celestial form. When he feels himself hit a wall, all he can think is that he finally found himself a worthy opponent.

The loud clang of metal against stone shakes him out of it. Aether stops less than a foot away from him, chest heaving. His spearhead is driven into the wall besides Xiao’s head - he would feel scared if Aether wasn’t still smiling. Slowly but surely, the golden light around him fades, until they’re left in darkness yet again.

“I win,” his golden-haired traveler says, and Xiao sinks to his knees in defeat. 

~

It wasn’t long after Aether had departed for Inazuma that he’d already returned, fresh purple patches in his outfit radiating with electro power. Xiao happened to be in the vicinity of Wangshu Inn when he saw him and his floating buddy approaching, watching from afar as his slouched posture entered the inn and booked a table. Only minutes later, he heard Aether softly call his name, and a plate of Almond Tofu was presented to him with a tired smile. 

They ended up on the balcony, Aether telling him about Inazuma while Xiao ate the delicacy he’d been given. It was different from the way Smiley Yanxiao made it, but not necessarily in a bad way. Paimon had gone to sleep by Aether’s side, tiny head resting against his hip as if she were a baby. 

“I came back here to rest,” Aether told him at some point. “The fight with the Shogun really took a lot out of me -”

“The Shogun?” Xiao interrupted sharply, and Aether’s eyes widened, as if he’d only just realized what he said. So far, he had only told stories of Sakura trees, talking dogs and kitsunes. He knew the Vision Hunt Decree had ended - word traveled fast when it came to the secretive land of Inazuma - and looking at Aether then made him realize that he’d naturally had something to do with it. He was the one and only traveler, after all, carrying the burdens and problems of every nation on his back.

It explained why he’d looked so exhausted. Xiao wasn’t used to the tired look on his face, or the tremble of his limbs. 

“Yeah…” Aether said, avoiding his gaze. “It’s a long story.”

Xiao watched him fidget on the spot, pulling down his sleeves and absentmindedly rubbing the electro patches in his clothes. He looked more nervous than ever before, and only now did Xiao notice the purple bags under his eyes, and the clear pain he was in. 

He wondered if Aether knew he deserved a rest. It was not his responsibility to save every nation he entered, nor was it his responsibility to face Archons head-on. Whatever he may have been before falling into Teyvat, all of it was gone now, and in terms of power, he was even below Xiao’s level. The few times they’d sparred proved that. Though Aether’s ability to manipulate multiple elements at a time was undoubtedly impressive, he lacked speed and agility, and most of all lethality. He was a helper - he seeked to save people, rather than exterminate them. Xiao wanted to advise him to change his morals.

But Aether didn’t want to talk about it. If he did, he would have. 

“Call my name next time,” was all he said, and it ended at that.

Chapter Text

Day three. Xiao is starting to think he’s losing his mind. 

Aether continued doing his commissions, bringing Paimon or Lumine along in the morning and waving his sister goodbye around eleven. He walks with a newfound spring in his step, climbing any surface he sees and practically dancing around Liyue’s landscape. His happiness would have been infectious if not for the reason he’s so happy clashing directly with Xiao. 

Hu Tao follows them around everywhere, a rather new addition to the previous team of two. They ran into her in Liyue Harbor, and she insisted on coming along on their way to Qingce village, as she supposedly has business there. Xiao could easily tell that wasn’t the real reason she was coming - Aether must’ve told her he was leaving - but didn’t mention it. Aether accepted her company with a smile, always the people-pleaser. 

Xiao hates the way she takes up all of his time, and he especially hates the way Aether indulges her. Even Paimon grows tired of it; surprisingly enough, Xiao finds himself having lunch with the floating fairy as the two lovebirds hunt boars together. 

It’s not like there’s anything he can say about it. He knows, objectively, that he shouldn’t be feeling upset. He can’t put a finger on why her presence annoys him so much, which is precisely why he keeps quiet. Besides, Zhongli seems fond of Hu Tao, as if she’s the daughter he never had, so Xiao can’t exactly say he hates her. But something about her loud presence and never-ending jokes about death itches him in the wrong way. 

“We should pay Bubu Pharmacy a visit,” Hu Tao says as they pass Wangshu Inn, tugging at Aether’s braid. “Just to see how Qiqi’s doing.”

“You know I won’t let you bury her,” Aether says, chuckling. 

“Aiya, soon you won’t be here to stop me anyway,” Hu Tao says, catching a butterfly. Xiao is positively horrified at the interaction, and when Hu Tao places the butterfly on Aether’s head, he decides he’s reached his limit. 

“I’ll be back,” he says to Aether, making his spear materialize with a flick of his hand. He doesn’t give Aether time to reply as he teleports away, far from where those two are. He ends up in Minlin, the pull of evil presences forcing him forward. 

Moments later, he finds a group of hilichurls dancing around a campfire to be the source of the pull. Boring, really. He’s seen so many hilichurls these past few days that he wouldn’t be surprised if he started dreaming of them. That is, if he slept like humans did. 

He dodges an arrow, feeling the familiar thrill of battle running through his veins. It’s been a while since he was able to make full use of his powers, severing his karmic binds and unleashing the cropped up anger within his heart. The hilichurls don’t stand a chance. 

Hu Tao annoys him. He stabs at a white-coloured hilichurl, and it drops the cryo slime it’s holding. Aether is leaving way too soon. He jumps up in the air, as high as he can, and plunges toward a shielded mitachurl . An arrow grazes his shoulder, and he throws his spear the guilty hilichurl, dashing forward to grab it again when the beast falls to the ground. The world blurs together in flashes of movement. He lands in a place he doesn’t recognize, and jumps up to plunge at the next enemy. If he knew emotions were this complicated, he never would have opened up. A lawachurl spots him, roaring and rushing over. He dashes out of the way, and takes down a cryo slime in the process. He never should have gone on this adventure trip.

He secures his mask to his face, and lets the karma inside him take over. 

“Xiao.”

He finishes a mitachurl off with a plunge, chest heaving, and feels his heart drop.

Aether has never called him from his duties before, save for the one time he needed help at the moonchase festival. Why now? Isn’t he aware that Xiao is busy? Is he in danger?

It doesn’t matter. He locates where Aether’s call comes from, and teleports without a second thought. 

He finds himself standing on a hill near Cuijue Slope, and there isn’t any danger in sight. Aether’s standing in front of him, his back turned towards Xiao. It’s raining, and his long hair sticks to his face. The water dims its usual golden color, making it more of a dark blonde. 

“You called?”

Aether turns, face breaking out into a smile so bright Xiao has to look away. Neither Paimon nor Hu Tao is anywhere to be seen. It’s only the two of them, not even a single monster in sight.

“Hey,” his friend says, grabbing his adventurer’s bag. “I was thinking you might want dinner.”

Dinner -?

“You called me from my duties for food ?” Xiao asks, feeling anger build up inside him. Aether’s eyes widen in surprise, and his face flushes despite the cold weather. 

“You were busy? I’m so sorry - I thought you’d be done by now -”

“I was only gone for a little while.”

Aether’s eyes soften. “Xiao, you were gone for five hours.”

It’s only then that Xiao notices the setting sun, as well as the eerie silence among them. Despite his initial feeling of disbelief, everything around him proves that Aether is telling the truth; he was clearly gone nearly all day, yet if felt like only a few minutes. 

“But I only killed one group of hilichurls,” he says, confusion bubbling up in his gut. It had been one group, right? Through the blur of it all, he remembers the white hilichurl, and the one with the arrows, and the slime and lawachurl. They all belonged together, no? 

“Really?” Aether asks, stepping closer. “You don’t look like it.”

Xiao looks down at himself, noticing his torn shirt and bruised arms. Where on earth did he get those? He doesn’t remember getting injured. Was he really that zoned out during the fight? Had he not even noticed that there were more hilichurls than just the few remarkable ones? Or had he perhaps moved to another place in Liyue in his rage, unable to control himself due to his karmic debt? 

It doesn’t matter now. Aether carefully takes hold of his hands, then leads him to where he was standing before. A white object floats in the air at waist-height. It looks like a teapot, but Xiao can sense energies in the air that indicate it isn’t any ordinary teapot.

“This is a teapot I got from Madame Ping,” Aether explains, clear concern in his voice. “It contains an adeptal realm, with a house, a shower, and beds. How about you rest in here?”

“I don’t need rest,” Xiao protests, pulling his hands from Aether’s grip. 

“Xiao,” Aether says, voice softening. “Please.”

“You know I don’t sleep.”

“Maybe you should try it.”

Xiao takes a deep breath, forcing his racing heart to calm down. Frustration bubbles up at Aether’s inability to understand him, and he longs to teleport away, fighting monsters until the crack of dawn, until his hands are bloody and his soul is torn. The pain his karmic debt brings him can sometimes be relieving in situations like these, where he doesn’t know how to control his emotions and feels himself growing irritated at everything and everyone. To be able to control what he’s feeling when he dons the mask is freeing, even if the only thing he can control is how much pain he does or doesn’t feel. But Aether wouldn’t understand that - someone like him doesn’t carry the burden of karmic debt. Insignificant issues such as human lives or slain souls don’t tie themselves to him. He’s made from pure celestial energy and stardust; how could he ever be stained by perpetual agony? 

“Xiao,” Aether’s hand brushes against his arm. “You look worse for wear. Even if you won’t sleep, at least let me take care of your wounds.”

He huffs, folding his arms. “They’ll heal.”

“They’ll heal faster with my help,” Aether insists. Xiao would criticize his stubbornness if these weren’t the last few precious days he could spend in his presence. To start an argument now would be as self-destructive as fighting a Primo Geovishap with his bare hands. 

Instead, he opts for a simple, “I’ll be fine.”

Aether looks at him in stunned silence for a moment or two. His staring is so intense Xiao actually wonders if he’s zoned out, until his expression changes and he takes a firm hold of Xiao’s arm. 

“What are you -” he tries, but Aether cuts him off, fire in his eyes. 

“Please just shut up.” And then the world around them shifts into a blue-orange blur, so blindingly bright that Xiao has to squeeze his eyes shut. When the brightness dissipates and he opens his eyes, they’re standing in a large grassy area. Tall, golden bridges connect the platform they’re on to the next one, and flocks of birds fly around the area near the waterfalls in the distance. He turns, looking at what appears to be Aether’s temporary home; a large red mansion, with a floating bird creature near the front door. It looks much like Cloud Retainer’s adeptal realm, and he comes to the conclusion that Aether teleported them inside the strange-looking teapot against his own will. 

“Let me out,” he says, glaring at his friend. Aether opens his bag and drops a small golden item with a blue tassel inside, and Xiao figures this must be the key to the realm. He reaches out for the bag, and Aether steps back in protest. 

“No.”

“You have no respect -”

“- For the ways of the adepti, yada yada yada.” Aether rolls his eyes. “I don’t care, Xiao. You’re my friend first, adeptus second. And as your friend, I’m not letting you leave until you’re recovered and out of whatever mood you’ve been in all day.”

“I haven’t been in a mood ,” Xiao hisses, reaching for the bag again. Aether is too quick, making it vanish with a flick of the wrist. 

“Even Paimon noticed,” Aether said. “And she already thinks you’re grumpy all the time, so I can’t imagine how bad it must have been for her to notice a change.”

Xiao steps back, giving up the fight for the bag and turning to the weird bird-like creature. “What is this thing?”

Aether walks to stand next to him. “Tubby. She watches over this realm.”

“Can she let me out?”

“She won’t.”

“But she can.”

“She won’t.”

Xiao can think of about a thousand things he wants to do to change Aether’s mind. Curse at him, spar with him again, even childishly tug at his braid. Instead, he says, “Fine. I’ll stay. But don’t be surprised if I hide in my room the whole time I’m here.”

“As long as you’re resting,” Aether says, accepting a key from Tubby and unlocking the front door. They step inside the home, and the first thing Xiao notices is how incredibly massive it is; much bigger than necessary for just Aether himself. There’s a fireplace with couches to his left, bookcases and a desk to his right and a kitchen up ahead with two staircases on the side of the room. In the middle of the area, two hallways split off to the side, revealing entrances to several more rooms. 

“Do humans really need this much space?” he asks, walking over to the kitchen. It’s eerily similar to Wangshu Inn’s kitchen, and he wonders if Aether decorated it that way on purpose. 

“Not really,” Aether says, following him. “Most of the rooms are unfurnished. I have my own room upstairs, as does Paimon, and the rest are either guest rooms or studies.”

“Where does Hu Tao stay?” Xiao asks, feeling bitterness on his tongue at the mention of her name. He can only hope it doesn’t show in his tone of voice.

Aether approaches him, smiling softly. “Probably in Qingce Village, as she’s not here.”

He pauses, looking Xiao up and down. A strange, jittery feeling dances through Xiao’s gut as he does so. “Is that what you were so upset about? Hu Tao?”

“Her presence is bothersome,” Xiao says, turning away from him. 

“I thought you found her funny.”

“She has her moments,” Xiao admits, slightly embarrassed that Aether remembered such a detail. “But not today.”

He looks at the kitchen, finally feeling the aftermath of today’s battle sink in. His shoulders feel heavy, and his mind is clouded by death, replaying the images of slimes and other monsters bleeding out until he’s zoned out completely. It’s rather common for this to happen after a fight; he watches his victims die on repeat, absorbing the memories until their screams attach themselves to his soul, and his karmic debt grows a little stronger yet again. It’s easier to bear when it’s monsters and other creatures than when it’s gods and humans, and so he stays upright, closing his eyes to let it all wash over him. He can analyze the battle this way, though he doubts there’s much to learn. The only peculiar event from today is that he lost complete track of time, fighting until the sun had begun its descent in the sky, making him nearly miss the sunset for the first time in his life. He’d been too caught up in his thoughts to notice his surroundings. It was reckless, and something he must improve on.

“Hey,” Aether touches his shoulder, shaking him out of it. “I’m… sorry if you felt neglected, today.”

“Hm?”

Xiao opens his eyes, a little confused. Aether thought he felt neglected? There was no reason for him to feel that way. He wasn’t entitled to Aether’s attention, after all. For him to spend time with someone else was completely natural, and no reason for Xiao to feel upset. 

“Is that what you believe?” he asks. “That I was upset because I felt neglected?”

Aether nods firmly, looking a little more sad than before. Pure guilt is etched into his face, and Xiao hates the look of it. This isn’t an expression he’s used to seeing, and it makes him feel icky, as if it’s his fault Aether’s feeling this way. And to be fair, maybe it is.

“You’re wrong,” Xiao says. “It’s normal for you to spend time with other companions. I don’t feel like I deserve your attention more than them, nor will it make me upset if you talk to them.”

“I see.” Aether nods, a small mischievous smile forming on his lips. “So… if I spent all of tomorrow talking to only Paimon and Hu Tao, you wouldn’t be mad?”

And fine, maybe Xiao is lying to himself. 

“You’re incomprehensible,” he blurts out, frowning. “First you ignore me all day, then you try to convince me it should have made me feel bad? And then you suggest doing it again to try and upset me - why would you paint yourself in such a bad light?”

Aether shrugs, folding his arms in the same way Xiao has, smiling brightly. “I guess I was just curious to see if you desired my attention.”

Xiao hates the corner he’s being driven into. It feels like Aether wants some sort of confession out of him, and it goes straight against Xiao’s nature, leaving him confused and frustrated. He wants nothing more than to understand Aether’s intentions, but every time he feels himself getting close, something changes yet again, until all he can do is endlessly chase him around. Why did he behave in such a way? Was their friendship not enough for him? Their connection was unlike any other, why did he toy with it in such a way - and why now?

“You’re my friend,” he manages to say, despite the circles his mind is running in. “And you’re leaving soon. I want to make use of every day we have left together.”

Aether’s smile turns sad, eyes glistening. “Then why won’t you let me help you? Even after all this time?”

He’s breaking Xiao down once again. Soon, he won’t be there anymore to put the pieces back together. 

“It’s how I’ve always done it,” he answers honestly. Aether’s burning gaze is too much, and he has to look away. “I work alone. I always will.”

Aether touches his upper arm, trails his fingers down to his wrist. He pulls, and Xiao doesn’t have the strength to refuse. He lets Aether take his hand, and obliges when Aether forces him to turn back and face him. 

“I want to work together , while we still can,” he says. His voice trembles with something Xiao can’t decipher - perhaps sadness, or anticipation, though the latter doesn’t seem very likely. “Do me a favor. I want to cherish the time we have left.”

Xiao looks into his eyes, and can’t bring himself to say no. 

~

So, here was the truth - Xiao knew. He knew, objectively speaking, that what he and Aether had wasn’t normal. It wasn’t like his relationship with Morax, or Barbatos, or anyone else. And it wasn’t like the one Morax and Azhdaha once had, or Aether and Lumine now had. It was much more complicated than that; he could never quite put a finger on what was different. Morax saved him once, as did Barbatos. As did Aether, yet it still didn’t feel the same. 

Zhongli stood in front of him, hood drawn up high, casting a dark shadow over his face. In his hands was a Glaze Lily bouquet he’d handpicked earlier that day. 

“Come with me,” he said, and Xiao obliged. He followed his old master through the torn-down ruins in Guili Plains, noticing the strange absence of monsters in the area. Perhaps even the darkest of creatures could sense the presence of their god, bowing down in submission instead of picking a fight. Zhongli had given up his gnosis many years ago, but he hadn’t lost his godly aura, radiating a sense of power and authority Xiao had yet to find in anyone else. 

One ruin looked particularly quiet. Zhongli headed inside and Xiao followed, letting the darkness of the ruin engulf him. A small gap in the wall allowed beams of sunlight to shine through, illuminating a small gravestone right below it. Dried-up Glaze Lilies covered the floor, and Xiao kneeled as soon as he realized who this grave belonged to.

“Guizhong was always particularly fond of these flowers,” Zhongli said, kneeling down to pick up the old flowers, replacing them with his new bouquet. “I once built this as a shrine to honor her… but it seems time and erosion have worn it down to nothing more than a ruin in the middle of a wasteland.”

“I brought nothing to honor her,” Xiao said, not getting up from his kneeling position. “I apologize. ”

“ No need.” Zhongli looked at him with a sad smile. “Your presence is enough.”

Silence fell. Xiao’s knee was starting to hurt from kneeling for too long, but that was no reason for him to stand up. Only if Zhongli stood up would he do the same - that was the proper way to show respect, both towards his god and his long-lost… companion. 

He didn’t know how long the silence lasted. But it must have been several hours, as the sun had nearly disappeared when Zhongli finally got up. His expression looked quite grave, with eyebrows drawn together tensely, and the corners of his mouth pointing downward. He must have sunken deep into his memory for him to get into such a state. 

“My lord,” Xiao hesitantly said, and Zhongli’s expression cleared at his voice. He slipped back into his usual expression without effort, a small smile on his lips, and nodded as if urging Xiao to go on. 

“If I may ask… what did the Lord of Dust mean to you?”

Zhongli’s eyes glistened with tears in the setting sun as he answered, “I believe you already know.”

He helped Xiao get up. As they left the ruins together, Xiao couldn't help but think that perhaps, his relationship with Aether was much more like what Zhongli and Guizhong’s had once been. 

Chapter Text

“The Lantern Rite is in three days,” Aether says when Xiao approaches him the next morning. He’s leaning against the fireplace, coffee mug in his hand, golden locks of hair framing his face. It’s a bit strange to see him without his signature braid, but it's not an unpleasant sight. His hair is a bit longer than expected, with small curls having formed due to the twists and turns of his usual hairstyle. Incredibly impractical for a fight, yet he somehow pulls it off. 

“I’m aware,” Xiao replies, sitting down on the couch in front of him. Aether turns his body towards him and smiles. 

“Haven’t changed your mind, have you?”

Xiao hums absentmindedly. It would be a lie to say he hadn’t thought of not going, especially now that it was getting so close. The thought of being amongst such a large crowd, having to deal with Liyue’s citizens and being unable to jump to someone’s aid if necessary is enough to give him as much anxiety as a small bird learning how to fly. It’s a massive leap to take for him, and the thought of backing out and hiding in Wangshu Inn is far more appealing. But it’s Aether’s last Lantern Rite, and Xiao knows he will regret not going after he’s gone.

“I haven’t,” he answers truthfully. “Did you expect me to?”

“Maybe,” Aether says, walking over to sit next to him. He looks calm this morning - a surprisingly rare sight. Perhaps that’s why he hasn’t done his hair, or bothered to dress up in his usual clothes, sitting in what appear to be his pajamas. 

He takes a sip from his drink, and Xiao looks away, watching the flames dance in the fireplace. “You’ve never gone before, so I guess I was surprised you said yes this time.”

“I’m not fond of Lantern Rite,” Xiao says. “But if it’s with you, I’ll go.”

“Really? It didn’t use to be that way.”

“Well, it wasn’t your last Lantern Rite in any of the previous years,” Xiao says. “This is an exception.”

Aether looks away, shrinking into himself. He looks upset, hands clamped around the mug, shoulders tense. Xiao hates it. “...I see.”

“What’s wrong?”

Aether lets out a half-laugh, half-huff. “Nothing. Just… sad that I’m leaving.”

“You don’t have to leave,” Xiao suggests. It’s a selfish request, and he hates himself for it. 

“I know,” Aether says, smile watery. “Trust me.”

Xiao takes a deep breath, finding himself unable to look directly into Aether’s eyes. “But you’re going anyway.”

Aether doesn’t answer for a moment, seemingly in a world of his own. His head is tilted towards the ceiling, coffee mug long forgotten. Xiao idly wonders if he’s trying to find comfort in the sky again, seeking out the moon and the stars. But the sky is covered by a glossy wooden ceiling, and the sun has already come up, so Aether looks back down, shoulders slumped. 

“Yeah.”

~ 

The call of demons pulled him forward. Deep within his mind, he could sense their presence, growing stronger and stronger every second he spent not fighting them. He searched for them in his mind, tracking their location, vanishing from place to place in clouds of anemo butterflies to slowly approach them. 

They were in Jueyun Karst, moving up Mt. Hulao. Three - no, four of them, seemingly having possessed someone or something. They were braver than most, as well, as it was rare for any demon to step foot into the territory of the adepti. Well, it was a mistake they would only make once. 

He donned the mask, jumping from mountain to mountain. He could see the demons now, each of them hiding away in the body of a hilichurl or mitachurl. Easy targets for demons, but for Xiao as well. It would be a short-lived fight. 

He jumped down, plunging into the group of monsters. They scrambled apart, gathering clubs and bows to counterattack. It was a rather useless attempt, as Xiao had already made quick work of two of them, and now dashed toward the third. 

“Boring,” he huffed to himself, watching as four demon spirits left the hilichurls’ body, shooting high up into the sky. He expected them to shoot straight up to the heavens, but it seemed they still had some strength left, as they bent towards the top of the mountain, where Mountain Shaper lived.

Surely there wouldn’t be any living souls up there for the demons to attach themselves to. But Xiao wouldn’t be Xiao if he didn’t at least check. 

He teleported to the top of the mountain, tightly gripping his spear. A teal-green cloud he recognized as the demon spirits flashed past him, moving rapidly as if with a clear destination in mind. The place it manifested from, perhaps? Though it was unlikely that demons resided in a place so close to the adepti. 

He followed it up, dashing past large pieces of amber rocks, not losing sight of the spirits. If they didn’t die out on their own, he would have to exterminate them. They vanished behind the mountaintop, and he followed. 

Xiao dashed up, landing on the very top of the mountain, near the adeptus’ abode. He watched as the demon spirits shrunk to a minor size, twirling around each other… 

… and shooting straight into the chest of a familiar golden-haired traveler. 

Xiao froze in place. Aether was knocked back with the force of it, stumbling back and falling against a tree. Paimon shrieked beside him, hiding her hands behind her face. The spirit forced its way through the yellow patch on Aether’s chest, until it vanished completely, and Aether’s eyes turned black for a moment. 

So, this was it, then. This was the moment Xiao had warned him about ages ago - if Aether ever fell prey to the darkness, it would be his responsibility to save both Aether himself and Liyue from it. He gripped his spear tighter, feeling a painful tug at his heart. He’d fought many souls in his life, but this would be the first time facing a friend. 

A loud shriek sliced through the air. Xiao’s first thought was that it was Aether’s, with the demons having reached his heart, but it sounded far too inhuman for that. He looked up, and watched in stunned silence as dark energy seemed to seep out of Aether’s body, straight through the glowing patches in his clothes where they’d previously entered. 

Another shriek. With a flash, the demonic spirits burst out of Aether's body and a dark cloud of smoke hid him from Xiao's vision, until all of it suddenly vanished into thin air. The heavy weight of demonic presence lifted, and when he stepped closer, Aether’s eyes were back to their normal color. 

He reached out with his spear. Perhaps this was merely a trick. 

Aether lifted his arms, dropping his sword. “Xiao - I can explain.”

“You're… what, exactly?”

“It's complicated.” Aether gave him a weak smile. He looked startled and slightly embarrassed, but most of all he looked sincere. Xiao finally lowered his spear, and he swore he could see a hint of relief in his friend's face. 

“Explain,” he commands, taking a step back to keep his distance from the person he once thought he knew. But the bomb of information Aether just dropped on him had changed everything; though part of him wasn't surprised at his origins at all, he never would've jumped to this conclusion by himself.

Aether sat down cross-legged, plucking away at the grass beneath his thighs. “I can't really get possessed, I guess? Not unwillingly, at least - I'm… from the stars, let's say… any demon willing to get close will be banished straight away due to the purifying powers within me.”

“Purifying powers,” Xiao repeated, the words falling flat on his tongue. It sounded almost laughably unrealistic. But still - Aether was right in front of him telling him otherwise, and Xiao couldn't think of any other reason why the demons would vanish so quickly. 

“I purified Dvalin's tears when the Abyss corrupted him,” Aether said. It wasn't new information to Xiao; even though he kept to Liyue for the vast majority of time, he still got regular updates on the other nations through their respective Archons, or his own. Months before Aether came to Liyue, Morax had already informed him of a certain peculiar traveler in Teyvat. 

Aether seemed to hesitate, gaze flickering back and forth between Xiao and the ground below. Anxiety was a rather unusual expression on him, and Xiao couldn't quite figure out whether he felt concerned or annoyed by it. 

“I can almost hear you thinking,” he said, folding his arms. Aether looked up with a slight flush to his face. “Spit it out.”

“It's probably not a big deal,” Aether said, letting out a short chuckle that didn't sound humorous at all. “But I guess lately I've been wondering if that's how I've been helping you with your karmic debt.”

Xiao watched him in silence as he continued fiddling with the grass, pulling out each straw in a circle around his left foot. Paimon had long disappeared, squeaking something about not intruding on private conversations. It was the one time Xiao was grateful for her continuous absence. 

He hadn't entertained that possibility himself. After all, he hadn't even known about Aether's so-called ‘purifying powers’. The fact that he possessed such a thing made much more sense after considering him for a moment. Xiao had known Aether wasn't a regular citizen in Teyvat for a while, and he did certainly look like someone - or something - wholly pure, with golden locks of hair and glowing patches in his clothing. To think that Xiao hadn't suspected anything earlier was actually slightly embarrassing. 

Had Aether been unknowingly purifying him? Was karmic debt even something that could be purified? He didn't think so. It wasn't an Abyssal manifestation, or a strong demonic power. It was pure karma that had accumulated over the course of several centuries; if anything, his karmic debt represented the consequences of his actions, of his guilt. Surely guilt couldn't be purified. 

“No,” he said. Aether looked a bit taken aback by his firm tone, so he swiftly continued, “I don't believe it has anything to do with your powers.”

“Then how come you said it's been getting better?”

Xiao hummed, considering it for a moment. The answer was crystal clear in his mind, and on a whim or bravery he said, “I believe it has very little to do with purifying, and much more with you. As a person. A… friend. You make me feel better.”

“Ah,” Aether slowly said, a smile stretching over his face. Xiao could've sworn he looked flustered for a moment, but the expression was gone so fast he might as well have imagined it. 

“A friend, huh. I can work with that.”

~ 

Aether takes him to see the stars that evening. He dresses himself in his usual attire for the occasion; after staying indoors for most of the day, playfully scolding Xiao whenever he put too much pressure on himself, he disappears into his room for a minute or two only to re-emerge with fresh clothes and his hair braided. He combs his hair through the pieces left out, brushing them so that they frame his face. In his hand is the blue item Xiao had seen the day before - the key to this place. Aether promptly takes his hand and they vanish in a whirlwind of anemo and adeptal powers, until they reappear on what looks like a Jueyun Karst mountain peak. He can see the signature worn-down bridges connecting the hills below them, swaying softly in the late evening breeze. 

Aether lets go of his hand and sits down carelessly. Xiao observes the mountaintop; they appear to be completely alone, surrounded by nothing but grass and small trees. A lizard scuttles away on a rock nearby, wringing itself into the crack between stone and earth. 

He hesitantly sits down, looking at the golden-blue colours of the sky. The sun has nearly settled; he can see a blanket of stars slowly forming behind the full moon. 

“I know you don't like missing the sunset,” Aether says, leaning back to lay down on the grass, head resting on his hands. “And I don't like missing you, so I thought we could watch the sunset together. There’s supposed to be lots of shooting stars tonight.”

Xiao has to look away at that - the sheer warmth that flooded over him at Aether's comment overwhelms him. For Aether to see the inevitable blush on his face would be absolutely mortifying. 

“Thank you,” he says, leaning back on his elbows. He hopes those two simple words are enough to fully convey his gratitude; the fact that Aether is willing to make time for him, just to watch the sunset together, is something he never could've hoped for. But Aether proves to him over and over again that his heart is truly good. He cares for Xiao, and though the feeling is scary, it's also comforting. 

They watch in silence as the golden hues of the skies shift into dark blue and black. Tiny specks of light show themselves over time, creating swirly strokes of constellations and whatever else is up there. Xiao's knowledge of the universe is limited; he barely knows his own star sign. 

He turns his head to the side. Whilst watching the stars, he's allowed himself to rest, lowering his body until he laid down next to Aether. Now, under the light of the moon, he can see Aether staring up to the sky with a sad mixture of longing and pain in his eyes. He lays completely still - with his quiet starstruck expression and the absent look on his face, he might as well be miles away. 

If he were anyone else, Xiao might have warned him about the consequences of letting his guard down in a place like this. To carelessly stargaze in the realm of the adepti is so bold he's surprised they haven't been intruded on yet. But this is Aether, and Aether can do basically anything he wants without consequence. And for once, Xiao can do the same; with Aether so caught up in his own mind, he is free to take this moment to stare at his friend. 

Aether is, undoubtedly, very handsome. This was one of the first things Xiao noticed when meeting him. The curve of his nose, the shape of his jaw and the slight curl in his hair were all signs of perfection that were only confirmed by the rest of his face. His eyes, darker than Xiao's own, that look at him with gentleness and care. His cheeks, that flush cutely any time Xiao calls him out on something embarrassing. His lips, soft-spoken and quiet around strangers, still struggling with Liyue's local accent. Yes, he is indeed very attractive, and Xiao idly wonders if that's what drew him to Aether in the first place. After all, it couldn't have been his personality back then, when Paimon did all the talking for him. Perhaps he's been… interested for much longer than he initially assumed. 

“I know each and every one of those stars,” Aether suddenly says. Xiao pulls himself out of his staring mode, and swears he can see something glistening in his friend's eyes. His heart hurts when a small tear makes its way down the side of Aether's face, and he realizes Aether must have been reminiscing. Even though they’re right next to each other, it feels like he’s miles away.

“Can you tell me their names?” Xiao asks. Aether glances at him, then looks back up. Raising his hand, he points at the constellation right above. Their shoulders brush as he does so, and a tingle shoots straight down Xiao's spine at the contact. 

“Most of them have names in constellations.” Aether smiles, sniffing softly. “That's Pavo Ocellus. The one right over there is Alatus Nemeseos. That's yours.”

Alatus… It's a name he hasn't heard in a very long time. Hearing it from Aether sounds wrong somehow, as if it's not really his name he's saying, just a few syllables strung together. He's always pronounced Xiao's name with such care and precision, and the way he said Alatus sounded completely unlike it. He's not sure whether he should comment on it or not, so he stays quiet, looking back and forth between the sky and his companion. 

“Tell me something, Xiao,” Aether softly says, lowering his arm and turning his face to look at him. From this distance, Xiao can make out every spot on his face; small scars and freckles cover his cheekbones, barely visible in the darkness of the night. 

“Tell you what?” Xiao asks. His voice instinctively lowers to a whisper now that Aether's so close, and he has to take deep gulps of breath to calm his racing heart. 

“Tell me, how have I traveled through all those constellations, and I've never found someone like you before? You fascinate me,” Aether says. His voice drops lower too, mimicking Xiao's way of speaking. 

Xiao's mind goes blank. Aether clearly doesn't seem to know the impacts his words can have on him. Never before had he said something so much like a compliment and a confession combined, and Xiao doesn't dare let himself hope that it means what he thinks it means. There is no reason for him to confess anything to Xiao, especially not now, when his departure is creeping closer and closer every day. He must be fascinating because of his past and his powers - nothing more than that. To hope otherwise would be self-destructive. 

“I - I don't know,” he eventually says, when he regains his breath and realizes Aether is waiting for an actual answer. “I haven't really met anyone like you either.”

Aether smiles - not a sarcastic chuckle or devious grin, but an actual, genuine smile. One of his more rare ones, and one that Xiao is blessed enough to have seen on multiple occasions. 

“Promise me something then, if I'm so special,” he says, eyes scanning Xiao's face. “Don't forget about me.”

Xiao blinks. Aether's words don't make sense to him - how could he ever forget? Even if they had never gotten as close as they are now, Aether was still memorable. He saved every citizen in Teyvat, and had stood out from the crowd from the moment he first set foot on this earth. Someone like him will simply always be memorable. 

“Why would I forget about you?” he asks. He's not sure he wants to hear the answer - that perhaps he's made Aether feel insignificant, or forgettable. 

“I don't know.” Aether turns to look back at the stars, and Xiao's able to breathe freely again. “You're immortal. You have your duties. I can easily understand if I stop being on your mind eventually.”

“You underestimate yourself,” Xiao answers. “You've made quite an impact, everywhere you've gone.”

Aether huffs. “I know that. I'm not talking about that - I'm talking about you .”

His voice is shaking. Xiao doesn't know what to do with himself. 

“I won't forget you,” he says truthfully. “You've made an impact on me, too.”

At some point below, Aether's fingers brush his. Xiao gulps, trying to ignore the tingles shooting up his arm. “A good one, I hope.”

“Do you really think I would've accompanied you on this trip if you hadn't?”

“Perhaps,” Aether smiles. “I might have forced you to come anyway.”

“You cannot force me to do anything.”

“I know,” Aether says, looking back at him. “But I would try.”

Xiao raises himself up by leaning on his elbows. “You’re annoyingly persistant.”

“But you allow it,” Aether sends him a cheeky grin Xiao isn’t sure whether or not he likes seeing. “Why do you allow it?”

Xiao wants to move back, wants to leave the confrontation zone they’d just established, but finds himself frozen in place as he stares down at Aether, repeating his question over and over again in his head. Why does he allow it? Why is it that he declines all visitors, anyone who tries to get close to him, except Aether? Why is it that when he was called from his duties by Aether, it barely upset him? Why had he given up on their argument so easily the day before?

The answer is on the tip of his tongue - he liked Aether, he trusted Aether. His kind heart and good nature meant that it was very difficult to get upset at him, even back when he hadn’t really understood Aether at all. 

“You’ve changed me,” he answers truthfully. “I don’t know why or how, but you did. You know this already.”

Aether’s smile fades - perhaps he had not anticipated such an honest answer. He clears his throat, and Xiao is once again blessed by the embarrassed flush on his face. “I guess I just wanted to be your friend.”

Xiao makes a tsk-noise. This is the one thing he has never understood about Aether, even after all these years. Him wanting to be Xiao’s friend had always been surprising and slightly unbelievable, as he couldn’t think of a single reason why anyone would want to be around him. His presence was unsafe and not ideal for chit-chat, and he did not have much to offer to Aether. For long he had wondered if Aether had ulterior motives - maybe he wanted information, or adeptal blessings - but all of those concerns had vanished over time. After all, their time together was mostly spent talking, and not once had Aether asked him to fight for him, or requested to know any confidential information. Perhaps he simply likes Xiao - but that is also something he can't wrap his head around. There isn't much about him to like, or at least that’s what he likes to believe. His days are filled with never-ending battles that corrupt his mind, and he can’t imagine all of it gives him a nice personality or attitude. 

But maybe he's just talking down on himself. Barbatos once told him he judged himself too harshly, and though Xiao didn’t agree at the time, he can now see his point on occasion. Another result of spending so much time with Aether, who had been nothing but nice to him, praising Xiao’s hard work whenever the subject came up. Though Xiao still believes he doesn’t deserve the compliments or gratitude, it’s still nice to have a listening ear, as well as a friend to comfort him at the end of his dark days. He supposes it all influenced him to think better of himself.

“You still there?” Aether asks, flicking his forehead and snapping him out of his train of thought. “A penny for your thoughts?”

Xiao blinks, confused at his words. “What?”

“Ah, nothing, just a saying from another world me and Lumine picked up on,” Aether says, shrugging. “What are you thinking about?”

Xiao hums. “You.”

“Me?”

“Yes. I still do not understand why you wanted to be friends.”

“Oh, that.” Aether chuckles, scratching the back of his neck. “Well, did you not?”

Xiao lets himself fall down on his back, resting his hands on his stomach. Now it’s Aether’s turn to lean up, facing him from above. There’s a piece of grass in his hair, and Xiao reaches up to remove it without a second thought. 

“I was curious about you,” he admits. “Eventually, I saw how lonely you were, and you weren’t awful to be around. I thought I could help.”

“I see,” Aether says, brushing his hand through the strands of hair Xiao had just touched. “Always the selfless one, hm?”

“As are you,” Xiao says. “Did you not say you wanted to help me with my karmic debt?”

With the way Aether’s leaning, shadows fall over his face. Xiao can barely make out the smile on his face. 

“My initial reasons to be your friend were… much more selfish,” he slowly says. His eyes flicker up and down Xiao’s face, then look back up to the sky. 

“Helping with my karmic debt isn’t selfish.”

Aether huffs out a laugh, falling down onto his back. “Gods, you’re so oblivious sometimes.”

He remains quiet after that, leaving Xiao to figure out whatever the hell that means. Was there some part of the conversation he’d missed? Something Aether was trying to tell him without actually saying anything? 

He watches as the evening breeze ruffles Aether’s hair, bangs falling into his eyes. He thinks of the years spent together, the way Aether has always treated him, the way his face flushes at Xiao’s words and the way he carefully holds his hand on nights when Xiao’s karmic debt becomes nearly unbearable, and Aether is the first person he thinks of for help. 

He thinks of all this, and also thinks that perhaps, he’s just a massive idiot.

“Aether,” he says, swallowing a lump in his throat. “I think we may have had the same reasons.”

Aether looks to the side. A tree leaf flutters down onto his face, and Xiao once again reaches out to brush it off. 

Aether grabs his wrist and removes the leaf himself. Electricity zaps down Xiao’s spine at the skin contact, especially when Aether turns back and presses his wrist down on Xiao’s chest, leaning on his elbows to look down at him. 

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he says, voice cracking on the last word. 

Xiao smiles, feels sadness bubbling up in his gut. “I wish that was true.”

Aether’s eyes soften, letting sadness shine through. “Xiao…”

“Aether,” Xiao interrupts him. He doesn’t follow it up with anything, lets the silence fall between them. Aether looks torn, eyes glued to Xiao’s face, hands trembling. He lets go of Xiao’s wrist, and then reaches out to touch the side of Xiao’s face. Xiao lets it happen, lets himself be carefully touched for the first time in his life, allows Aether to cup the side of his face, fingers pressing to the back of his scalp. His heart is pounding and he’s pretty sure he might be out of breath soon, but he waits, watches patiently as Aether makes a decision for himself. 

For once, he allows a spark of hope to blossom in his chest.

A tear has formed itself in Aether’s left eye. It glistens in the moonlight, then slides down his face. Xiao sits up and gently wipes it away. 

When he moves back, Aether lets go of his face and grabs his hand instead, pulling him closer. “I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for,” Xiao says. He can’t bring himself to meet Aether’s gaze, instead staring down at their intertwined hands. Aether fiddles with his fingers, a nervousness in his movements that Xiao has barely seen before. 

“I know,” Aether says. He looks hesitant, and Xiao gently covers his shaking hand with his own.

“Then why are you apologizing?” he asks. When he looks up, Aether is smiling at him. 

Silence. Aether’s hands find his face again. Xiao’s heart skips a beat, then slows down. He closes his eyes, and remembers the very first time Aether made him feel a spark of emotion.

I'm willing to protect you. But don't think about getting close, and stay out of my way, or all that awaits you is regret.

Underneath the first shooting star, Aether’s lips finally meet his.

Chapter Text

Kissing Aether feels like falling down a bottomless hole.

It’s freeing and exciting and it hurts like hell, because Aether kisses him desperately, capturing his lips breathlessly, pulling his face closer and closer as if he’s afraid of letting go. Xiao doesn’t have any experience with romantic relationships, let alone kissing, so he supposes he should feel anxious in one way or another. But truth be told, all he feels is warmth within his chest, something inherently happy blossoming there despite the circumstances and the continuous stabbing in his heart. 

It feels like losing your footing on a steep hill, like swimming underwater with no oxygen in your lungs, and it feels like he’s gaining a tiny something at the cost of losing Aether entirely. 

Aether clutches to his jaw like it’s a life jacket, fingers pressed to the skin behind Xiao’s ears. Xiao is not sure what to do with himself, so he awkwardly rests his hands on his legs, feeling his knees burn from sitting in the grass for so long. It burns similarly to how Aether’s skin burns on his; a numbing sort of feeling that shoots electricity up and down his spine every few seconds. 

He’s running out of breath - perhaps due to the kiss, perhaps due to Aether’s mere presence. Whatever the reason, he pulls away, and Aether immediately lets go of him, looking guilty. 

He's disheveled, hair and face a mess, lips red and swollen. For just a moment, he looks carefree. Xiao adores him.

But he's leaving, and Xiao doesn't adore that at all.

“Why would you do that?” he asks, reaching up to touch his lips. They tingle, a remnant of Aether’s touch. 

Aether blinks, face falling. “What?”

He huffs out a dry laugh that doesn’t contain any trace of humor at all. “You have no idea how hard…”

His voice trails off as he stares into Aether’s eyes. They’re wide and sad and glittery, reflecting the stars in the night sky. Even through his sad expression, he looks like a dream. 

“You’re leaving,” he says when he regains his composure. “We can’t…”

“Ah.” Aether nods, backing away and wrapping his arms around his legs. “I see.”

For the first time in his life, Xiao feels tears burning behind his eyes. He blinks them away. “I’m sorry.”

Aether smiles at him, but it’s not very convincing. “I understand.”

Xiao tries not to think about what just happened so he doesn’t have a breakdown in the middle of the night. But he can’t help but repeat his own question in his head: why did Aether do that? He could have just left the conversation where it was completely, or perhaps play it all off as a joke. That would have been the easier route to take - nothing complicated, staying as they were. If Aether hadn’t made any moves, they would have still been just friends , and Xiao wouldn’t have to think about what he could have had after Aether leaves. 

Xiao thought Aether didn’t want this. For the longest time, he’d assumed Aether saw him as a mere friend, especially considering all the Teyvat women that flocked to him whenever he stepped foot within a nation. Not to mention the men, too; if Xiao counted the guys who had clearly expressed interest on his hands, he’d run out of fingers. They were all his competition, a match he could never win. But it changed, just now. Even Xiao himself, usually oblivious to any and all romantic advantages, could feel it burning in his chest, all of the puzzle pieces finally coming together. Still, he doesn’t know what Aether wants now – doesn’t know what any of it means. Does he love Xiao? Or is this something else? And why, if he loved Xiao, would he wait so long to show it?

He clears his throat. “We should go back.”

Aether turns, and they lock eyes. He stares at Xiao with a look in his eyes that’s so spaced out he might as well be miles away. “Right.”

Xiao avoids Aether’s gaze for a moment before speaking. “Aether, I-”

“No, Xiao, it’s fine,” Aether interrupts. “You’re right. For a moment, I thought… but you’re right. I shouldn’t have done that.”

He stands up, holding out his hand for Xiao to take. Despite everything that just happened, he still does, and when Aether pulls him up he doesn’t miss the moment his hand lingers, hesitant to let go. For a moment, he wonders if the tension created between them within the past minutes will ever fade. 

“Paimon will be waiting for us,” Aether says, finally dropping his hand and fishing his teapot out of his adventurer’s bag. For the first time in days, Xiao actually wants to go inside. 

He takes hold of Aether’s wrist, allowing himself to be teleported inside the adeptal realm. Only when they land and Aether’s shoulders slump does he realize just how late it is, and so he allows Aether to lean on him as they walk inside, very pointedly ignoring the way his heartbeat spikes at the skin contact. 

Paimon is nowhere to be seen. She’s probably asleep somewhere, not worried about them, but she did leave a note with a poorly-drawn face of a person on it that Xiao figures must be a self-portrait only due to the crown on its head. The Paimon-drawing is frowning intensely, and scribbled underneath it in a child’s handwriting are the words you’re late.

Aether picks up the note and smiles. “I should go to sleep.”

Xiao nods, stepping away despite his brain screaming at him to stay. “Have a good night.”

He turns to the right hallway. Aether insisted on giving him his own room, despite Xiao’s insistence that he doesn’t need one. Now, though, it feels like the only good place to hide. 

There is barely more than a week left before Aether leaves, never to return. All Xiao had to do was get through this week and the next, and say goodbye on the final day without breaking down. And now Aether’s kissed him. He couldn’t possibly have made the goodbye any more difficult.

This is what he was trying to avoid. Sure, it would have hurt for them to say goodbye either way, since they were such good friends. But now there’s a new layer of hurt added to it, of what possibly could have been. Xiao wonders if Aether feels it as deeply as he does. But he doesn’t want to know, so perhaps it is best to spend some time away. 

Aether catches his wrist. “Wait, please.”

There’s a few moments of absolutely nothing. The whole world, silent. Eventually, Aether quietly speaks.

“I’m sorry, Xiao,” he starts. “I care about you a lot. You know that.”

Xiao nods in silence. Aether fiddles with his adventurer’s bag, then continues. “I’m going to miss you. Truly. I want to…” His voice trails off, gaze fixated on some point above Xiao’s shoulder. After a few moments, he shakes his head. “Never mind that. I’m sorry I crossed your boundaries. If I’d known you didn’t feel the same way… Well, anyway, I didn’t mean to make things weird.”

Oh. 

Aether merely thinks Xiao isn't interested. 

...Perhaps that's for the best. 

“Nothing is awkward,” Xiao says, offering him the bravest smile he can muster. “I don’t mind, you didn’t cross any boundaries.” 

Aether huffs out a laugh. “You’re lying. You wouldn’t even let me hug you before.”

Xiao bites his lip, feels terribly guilty for making Aether believe this. But surely rejection is easier to handle than heartbreak? That’s what Aether has always told him, at least. 

“I changed my mind,” he says, though truth be told, he’d never really thought about it. Aether’s expression is skeptical, and Xiao curses all the demons in the world before feeling his resolve crumble. 

He opens his arms, heart racing. “Well come on, then.”

Aether approaches him slowly, moving faster with each step. When he’s finally in front of Xiao, he hesitates for a moment, before slowly placing his arms around Xiao’s shoulders, resting against his chest. Even though Aether has a few inches on him, he slouches down in the hug, burying his face against Xiao’s collarbone. 

He’s never been held like this before. Aether’s arms engulf him, trapping him in their grip, and Xiao figures he would feel claustrophobic if it were anyone else. But he knows Aether, knows his arms and hands and his gentleness, and he trusts him enough to let him get this close. 

Aether’s whole body is warm, a stark contrast to Xiao’s own. It’s nice, he supposes. Comfortable, like a personal heater. He idly wonders how Aether stays warm with such short sleeves and his cropped top. 

He finally steps back when the proximity gets too much to handle. If he lets Aether this close for any longer, he might give in to his desires, which would definitely not end well. 

“You should sleep,” he hears himself say. It’s almost as if he’s outside of his own body, simply observing the conversation. The coldness in his own voice startles him. 

“Yeah,” Aether moves back, dropping his arms to his sides. “You should get some rest too.”

“Hm.” Xiao folds his arms, stepping away and feeling his heart break into a million tiny pieces. “Go. I’ll be here.”

“Alright.” Aether’s gaze lingers on his lips for a moment, and then he looks back up with a sad smile. “Good night, Xiao.”

“Good night, Aether.”

~

“Tell me, Xiao,” Barbatos said, fingers absentmindedly strumming the lyre he was holding. “Aren’t you lonely?”

Xiao lifted his mask from where it was attached to his face. “Excuse me?”

“There are a few rumors going around that Raiden Ei has captured the heart of Guuji Yae,” Barbatos stated. He was sitting on the railing of Xiao’s balcony, dressed in a ridiculous green-white outfit. He had appeared as quietly as the morning breeze, carrying nothing but a lyre he used to call Xiao from his duties. For just a moment, Xiao considered sending him away, but he knew the Anemo Archon’s will did not waver for a Yaksha such as himself. He must have just returned from visiting Morax for their regular meetups, as the air of wine still hung around him.

“The Raiden Shogun?” Xiao questioned. “What are you talking about?”

Barbatos hummed a tune, and the wind picked up. “Windblume is near. Romance is in the air. Yet you stand here before me, all alone. I ask again, aren’t you lonely?”

“I have no foolish mortal desires,” Xiao huffed, eyes narrowing. “I don’t feel emotions like humans do.”

“Ah, but love isn’t inherently mortal,” Barbatos said, a smile playing around his lips. “Have you not seen the gentleness Guizhong awoke inside Morax, or how miss Ganyu eyed Guuji Yae before the latter dedicated herself fully to the Electro Archon?”

Xiao folded his arms. “I don’t care. If there isn’t anything of importance, I shall be taking my leave.”

“Fine, go ahead,” Barbatos said, waving his hand around in a way that indicated he really couldn’t care less. “I will simply wait to hear from Morax when a fine suitor catches your eye.”

“Pointless.”

Barbatos smiled, strumming the lyre to elicit a few familiar notes. It made Xiao halt in his steps, and he glared at the Archon as a response. “Don’t do that.”

With the flick of a hand, the lyre vanished from Barbatos’ hands. “Listen to me, Alatus.”

Xiao felt his shoulders go tense at the name, but couldn’t bring himself to move. Clearly, the Archon wanted his attention, and it was only logical to respect his wish. Though he may not serve Barbatos the way he did Morax, the two were considered good friends, and Xiao could never disobey a friend of Morax. The only indication of his dislike that he gave was yet another glare. 

“I’m listening.”

Barbatos placed a hand on his shoulder, buzzing with carefully contained anemo energy. “I have seen you grow up into the person you are now. Besides Morax, I might know you best. So I have a few words of advice, and perhaps you will listen to it one day.”

Xiao grumbled something of agreement, shaking Barbatos’ hand off. He didn’t even look fazed, continuing as if nothing happened. 

“Though you may be unable to feel anything now, you are not meant to be this way,” Barbatos said. “No one is, except perhaps the seven themselves - but even so, they have also found their ways to feel human. So, in a few hundred years, or a few thousand, when you eventually do find your person…”

He smiled in a genuine way that unsettled Xiao deeply, before finishing his sentence. 

“...Make sure you cherish it.”

~

Xiao wakes up with a headache. 

It doesn’t seem odd at first. Pain and headaches are regular occurrences for him, so for them to show up now isn’t all that strange. It’s only when he sits up in his unfamiliar bed and sees himself in the mirror that he’s struck with a heart-sinking realization. 

He woke up. 

He had been asleep? 

Immediately, an overwhelming sense of pure panic fills his chest, constricting his breathing and causing his hands to shake irrationally. He tries to find something, anything, to calm him down, but there’s nothing around him to ground him or bring him back to reality. His eyes stare past his reflection in the mirror, watching himself go blurry, his mind transporting him to Liyue Harbor and its surroundings, where unspeakable things might have happened since he fell asleep and neglected his duties. He was careless. He let his guard down. The citizens might be in great danger.

And then, for the first time in his life, he starts to cry.

It’s ugly. It’s unsettling, it’s scary, it’s him trying to catch his breath while his head is reeling, playing all sorts of scenarios over and over again in his mind. Visual images of monsters and demons slaughtering citizens and fellow adepti; Morax is no longer in the position of an Archon to protect the city, and he wasn’t around to keep guard either. And now he can't even help; he's trapped and he's vulnerable, trying to adjust to the utterly strange feeling of shortness of breath, tears and chest contractions. What if something terrible had happened in his carelessness? 

Never before has he let his guard down like this, never before has he felt his emotions so intensely all at once. It’s like the initial sadness that was placed upon his shoulders when Aether first announced his departure has built itself up gradually, and now comes crashing down after such a shock to his mind. Somehow, the fact that he’s feeling so strongly all of a sudden drives his anxiety even more. He scrambles towards his headboard, remembers that Aether might not even be awake, and tries to cover his own mouth. His room is right across from Xiao’s - if he’s too loud, it will surely alert Aether to his pathetic presence.

Footsteps, in the hallway. A soft knock on the door, and then a voice. 

“Xiao?” Aether grumbles, clearly only half awake. Xiao says nothing, closing his eyes and feeling the full embarrassment of having a breakdown over such a thing fully wash over him. Perhaps last night’s events really had shaken him much more than he initially thought, but he truly can’t admit that to Aether.

Suddenly, Xiao feels himself being pulled into Aether’s arms, his face buried into his chest. He wills himself to calm down, Aether pressing him against his chest, stroking his hair and squeezing his hand.

“You’re okay,” Aether keeps repeating. “I’m here. It's okay.”

Xiao wipes at his eyes, the crying having subsided for now. But the shortness of breath is still there, and Aether holds his hands between his own to try and prevent the shaking. 

“I’m sorry,” he voices out, feeling his face flush out of pure embarrassment. “I’ve never done that before.”

“What, cry?” Aether asks, blowing warm air on Xiao’s hands. “That’s okay. There’s a first for everything.”

“I don’t know why it happened,” Xiao admits. The initial uneasiness he felt at Aether’s presence slowly wears off, until his breathing has stabilized, and Aether finally lets go of him. “I’m not supposed to feel this way.”

“You’re human,” Aether simply says. “Humans cry.”

“I am an adeptus,” Xiao argues. “Not human. I shouldn’t… feel.”

Aether hums. He still hasn’t let go of Xiao’s hands. “Xiao, you care , you fight, and you love. That, in itself, is humanity. Therefore, you are human. Therefore, you feel.”

Xiao doesn’t have the energy to argue with his logic. “I fell asleep.”

Aether smiles at him, rubbing his arm. “That’s good. You look well-rested.”

“It’s not good ,” Xiao says, frowning. “I must be vigilant at all times. Dropping my guard like this is reckless, and selfish.”

“You know what I think?” Aether says. He lets go of Xiao’s hands now that they’re warm and still, and Xiao immediately misses his touch. 

“Probably something incredibly unrealistic and heroic, as you always do.”

Aether smiles, “I think that nowadays, Liyue Harbor can survive without you for a night.”

He says it so sincerely that it shakes Xiao a little. Such honesty and sincerity is so inherently Aether it almost makes him smile - and it almost convinces him, just for a moment.

“Every minute not spent fighting demons is a minute wasted,” he argues then.

“Yet you’ve spent this much time traveling with me.”

Xiao has to look away, face flushing yet again. “That’s different.”

“Mhm, sure,” Aether says, and Xiao wonders for a moment if he isn’t at all bothered by what happened last night. Part of him selfishly hopes that he is, just to have confirmation that none of it was fake, and Aether really did care for him that way. 

“Come on,” Aether says, getting up out of bed. “Let’s go make breakfast before Paimon kills me. I’m sure Liyue is safe, or they would’ve asked for my help by now..”

Xiao catches his reflection in the mirror behind Aether. Somehow, he seems to be smiling. Idly, he wonders how he can laugh after all this heaviness. The fear, the guilt, the pain; how can someone like Aether still find a way to make it all feel better? What magical force brought him to this earth, and what did Xiao do to deserve him?

“Yeah,” he says, taking Aether’s extended hand and letting himself be pulled up. “Let’s.”

Chapter Text

Despite Aether’s luxurious kitchen, he does not yet have the right supplies and tools to create a plate of Almond Tofu, so Xiao sits at the breakfast table in silence with nothing on his plate. 

Part of him itches to teleport away. Despite Aether’s reassurance, he knows he won’t feel better until he has visual confirmation that Liyue was safe without him. But once upon a time, quite some years ago now, Aether told him that friends often sit together at the kitchen table when having a meal, so he stays seated out of pure formality, even if he has nothing to eat himself. Paimon’s stacked plate might make up for his lack of an appetite anyway, as she practically inhales the pancakes Aether made for her. 

Speaking of Aether, he’s sitting right across from Xiao, which is ultimately less than ideal. If he was seated a little more to the side, Xiao could stare into nothingness quite easily, but now he’s constantly reminded of Aether’s presence no matter where he looks. He very pointedly does not watch the way Aether eats, and also definitely doesn’t think of how less than eight hours ago, his lips had been pressed against Xiao’s own. 

He’d never understood human’s desire to share kisses, always thinking of it as unhygienic and unnecessary, until he’d felt the feeling for himself. It was more than just a physical sensation; it was a feeling that awoke within him, as addictive as the alcoholic beverages Liyue’s citizens were so fond of. He wonders for a moment what Aether would do if he gave into the small part of his brain that burned with desire, craving that same feeling from last night. 

Aether doesn’t look half as bad as Xiao feels. It’s another indication that he’s not at all upset by what happened, and although Xiao does want him to be happy, he selfishly wishes it was different. With the way he’s acting now, it’s as if Xiao is the only one upset by the kiss, and Aether just shrugged it off carelessly. Had he really read it all wrong, then? Perhaps Aether never loved him the way he expected – and hoped – he did. 

In any case, he’s glad that Paimon doesn’t seem to have noticed anything. She focuses all her attention on the food in front of her, occasionally complimenting Aether’s cooking. The latter just nods and smiles, having a small fruit salad for himself. It once again strikes Xiao how much he does for his loved ones at his own expense. 

He hasn't seen Paimon upset about Aether’s departure at all. Perhaps she really is coming along with him to the next world. After all, she isn’t human, so it’s very much possible that she’s capable of traveling just like Aether. 

Perhaps he’s cursed himself, because Paimon speaks up at that exact moment, mouth stuffed with a syrup-filled pancake. “So why were you home so late yesterday?”

She looks back and forth between them with a strange sparkle in her eyes and a smirk on her face. Now that she looks at them like this, Xiao wonders if she knew about their strange relationship all along. 

“We went stargazing,” Aether answers after a moment of silence. He stabs his fork into an apple, ignoring Xiao’s gaze. 

“Okay,” Paimon slowly says, drawing out the last syllable. Her eyes lock with Xiao’s, and he swiftly looks away. Unfortunately, this means he ends up looking back at Aether, who just so happened to have looked up at that exact moment. He looks slightly embarrassed. It’s as if the calm Aether from just seconds ago has vanished completely, and the aftermath of their kiss is finally settling down on his shoulders. Or perhaps he had just been hiding his true feelings every time Xiao looked at him.

“Any plans for today?” Xiao asks to break the tense silence. “If not, I’d like to visit Liyue Harbor.”

Aether shakes his head, swallowing down a strawberry. “No plans. But Liyue is in full preparation for the Lantern Rite, are you sure you want to go now?”

“I have to ensure the city is safe,” Xiao says, getting up from the table. He wasn’t actually planning to leave right away, but can’t think of a reason to stay. “I will be back before dusk.”

“Be back before lunch?” Aether asks, tilting his head to the side. Xiao hates how he feels his resolve crumble at the sight of him, and he looks away. 

“I’ll be back after lunch,” he grumbles out. “Take it or leave it.”

“Okay, deal,” Aether nods. “Just give me a moment to change.”

He gets up, taking his plate and bringing it over to the sink. Xiao frowns. “Change?”

“I’m coming with you,” Aether says, his tone so matter-of-factly that Xiao wonders if they had already agreed on this and he just forgot. But he can’t remember a time where they made plans for this, except for many years ago, when he mentioned he’d like to go into the city to understand Aether’s life better. Surely that isn’t the reason Aether’s coming along now? 

“Why?”

But it seems he’s wrong about Aether once again. 

“You said you wanted to visit Liyue Harbor together.”

Xiao cannot believe him sometimes. A warm feeling blossoms in his chest, and he shuts it down quickly, not allowing himself to hope again. 

“Okay.”

~

Xiao had always considered himself of above-average intelligence. He was an adeptus, after all. The last of the yakshas, with over two thousand years of life experience. Rex Lapis had taught him everything he knew and more, and even now, Xiao followed his contract, loyal to his duty as the protector of Liyue even if gods and adepti were no longer its rulers. He knew how to fight and he knew how to handle the repercussions of it; the karmic debt accumulating under his skin with every slain soul. The bone-chilling screams in his mind every time he whipped out his spear. It was nothing new to him - he learned how to cope, and he learned how to live.

He was intelligent, no doubt. Much more intelligent than most - he believed only the other adepti and the remaining archons could be at or above his level. 

Still, he had no clue how he ended up laying in a field of Mondstadt dandelions, basking in the early spring sunlight. 

Objectively speaking, he did have a clue. Aether had asked him to come along, and he’d said yes. It was simple as that - it was more that he didn’t know the precise reason why he said yes; how Aether had managed to convince him. The golden-haired traveler had a way with words he was never quite able to understand, no matter how much time they spent together. In fact, sometimes it felt like the more time they spent together, the harder it was to decipher the true meaning behind his words and actions.

He turned his head, watching his friend from the side. He was looking at the early afternoon sky, twisting a dandelion in his hands. He’d left his usual floating buddy behind with the Wanmin Restaurant chef, so it was completely quiet apart from their slow breathing and the sound of the wind. 

Xiao did not know why Aether wanted him to come along. There was nothing dangerous about the situation they were in, so he had no need for protection. Yet Aether had still requested his presence, and for some reason, Xiao hadn’t thought to decline. Not for the first time, he wished that he knew humans and their intentions more. 

An idea came to mind.

“I’d like to see Liyue Harbor,” he softly said, turning his head to see the sky again. He could hear a rustling noise beside him, and when he looked back, Aether had turned his head. 

“You do?” he asked, smiling softly. Something strange and uncomfortable twisted in Xiao’s gut, and he looked away quickly. 

“I have no intention of getting close to the lives of mortals,” he said. “But I know that you often enter and leave the city, walking amidst the crowd. The stories you tell me…If I don't experience such things myself, it'll be hard to understand your thoughts.”

“I see.” Aether turned back. “I’d like to show you around the harbor, too.”

“Let me know when you have time to go,” Xiao said. “I am busy a lot… but I will make time for you.”

Aether smiled at him, and that same uncomfortable feeling stirred in Xiao’s gut again. He blamed it on his karmic debt; after all, it had been quite a few hours since he last participated in a fight, and he was itching to grab his mask and leave. But if Aether needed his protection (or his… companionship?) he would not go until he was ordered to do so. This was the promise he’d made, and he never broke a promise. 

“You know, in some worlds it is believed that dandelions grant wishes,” Aether suddenly said, lifting the small flower in his hand. “Just blow the seeds, and whatever you wish for, will happen.”

“Do you believe in this?” Xiao asked, genuinely curious about this myth. It was not one he’d heard of before. Aether glanced at him, then blew the seeds off the flower in one puff of breath. 

“Perhaps,” he said, and he left it at that. Xiao watched the seeds fly away in the breeze, until they blended in with the bright sky, invisible to the bare eye. 

“What did you wish for?”

Aether smiled at him again, but this time with a tinge of sadness that unsettled Xiao deeply. For some reason, he felt a tug at his heart, and the strange desire to make this sadness disappear. He shut the feeling down as soon as it bubbled up.

“A reason to stay.”

~ 

“Paimon doesn’t look all too sad about you leaving,” Xiao says. They’re walking through Bishui plain together, approaching the general area of Wangshu Inn. It feels like years ago that Aether showed up on his balcony to tell him he was leaving, and Xiao made the impulsive decision to come along. Strangely enough, despite the rollercoaster they've been on since that day, he doesn’t regret it at all. 

“Oh,” Aether says, and when Xiao looks at him, he can tell that he’s purposely avoiding his gaze. “Yeah.”

“Is she coming with you?” Xiao asks. It’s impossible to read Aether sometimes, especially now that he’s looking the other way, catching butterflies here and there. 

Aether continues walking, not answering. Xiao worries for a moment that Aether might not have heard him, but he knows better than that. Is he ignoring Xiao on purpose? Does he not want Xiao to feel bad because Paimon can come along, and Xiao can’t? Or… the realization hits him like a brick, and he stops in his tracks momentarily. 

“She’s not coming with you, is she?”

Aether stops walking, too, and the butterfly on his hand flies away sadly. 

“No.”

Xiao doesn’t know how to respond. He doesn’t know how to comfort him, never has. In his mind, he goes through the list of possible responses to a sad statement that Aether had drilled into him;

1. Hug them,
2. Ask them to talk about it,
3. Give some advice.

Somehow, he can sense that none of these will be appropriate in the current situation. So what comes out of his mouth instead, is a simple, “Oh.”

It’s quite strange to imagine, Aether without Paimon and Paimon without Aether. The two had been joined at the hip from the moment Xiao met them up until right now, and he never would’ve thought that Aether could leave his floating fairy friend behind. Was this because she wasn’t from the stars, like Aether? Could she not survive out there? Or, perhaps, did he not want to leave with any reminders of his time spent in Teyvat? Was he planning on forgetting this world completely?

The silliest thought comes to mind; who will tuck Paimon in at night when he’s gone?

“I don’t want to leave her,” Aether says. He waits for Xiao to catch up with him, then continues, “But I have no other choice.”

“Is it not safe?” Xiao asks, and they slowly continue their walk. 

Aether shakes his head. “Neither Lumine nor I know if she would survive out there. It’s… better to be safe than sorry, sometimes.”

Xiao swallows down a lump in his throat. For some reason, this news about the pixie greatly upsets him, even though he hadn’t cared for her much previously. “I see.”

A crystalfly flies by, and he follows it with his eyes before Aether catches it in his hands. “How does she feel about it?”

“She…” Aether smiles, but something sad shimmers in his eyes. “I think she hasn’t come to terms with it yet. But she said she’s happy for me.”

He watches the crystalfly’s wings flutter in the breeze, and Xiao has the decency to pretend he doesn’t see a single teardrop falling to the ground. “...She’s just a kid.”

“I understand,” Xiao says, carefully reaching out to brush his fingers against Aether’s shoulders. Upon receiving no negative response, he carefully rubs his shoulder, having learned that this motion can be comforting at times. “If it helps, I will ask Verr Goldet to look after her.”

“That would be nice,” Aether says, smiling up at him, and they leave it at that.

As they walk into Liyue Harbor together, Xiao begins to feel regret. 

Aether was correct; the citizens are busy with their preparations for the Lantern Rite, and the streets are much busier than expected. He’d only seen the city from a distance, but even from that far away he could tell that it was usually much quieter than this. Groups of families, friends, and children walk and stand around, carrying lanterns, food and all sorts of decorations. The strings of lanterns already attached to the harbor’s buildings bathe the whole city in a deep orange glow, giving it a warm and welcoming look. Still, everything inside Xiao screams at him to turn and walk the other way. 

Perhaps Aether can sense his hesitance, because he softly tugs at Xiao’s arm. “It’ll be okay. Come on.”

Xiao follows, feeling his heart pound in his throat. Every Liyue citizen appears to be quite occupied, yet he still feels as if everyone is watching him. As if his karmic debt and uneasiness is actually visible, and they are all scared of him. It was never a good idea for him to get this close to mortals – why had he even suggested it? He could see the city was safe from miles away, yet he’d let Aether drag him this far. 

“This is a bad idea,” he says as they cross the bridge into the city. “I can’t be here for too long, I’ll put everyone in danger.”

“You’ve been here before,” Aether says, clearly not bothered at all. “For the Moonchase festival, and when you came to tell me you’d join me. Now’s not any different.”

“It is different,” Xiao argues, lowering his voice to a whisper. “I didn’t stay for longer than necessary both those times. This won’t end well.”

Aether waves at a familiar face, then turns to him, his hand still hooked in Xiao’s elbow. “It’ll be fine. Just stay with me, and I’ll make sure it all goes well.”

“I carry too much adeptal energy and karmic debt. It’s bad for them.”

“Xiao.” Aether stops in his tracks and gives him a stern look. “I’m quite literally an otherworldly presence. If my power hasn’t affected them, yours won’t either.”

“My power is bad ,” Xiao hisses, anxiously looking around. Their presence has caught a few people’s attention, and he lowers his head to look at the ground, arms folded. “Yours is… different.”

“Listen.” Aether steps closer, pulling his arms away from his chest and nudging his chin to get Xiao to look up. “If I wanted to, I could wipe out this whole city right now. Would you say those are good powers?”

“But you wouldn’t do that,” Xiao says. “You’re too kind to harm them.”

“And so are you,” Aether says, offering him a smile. “Listen - how about this. I show you around as much as you can, and as soon as you get too uncomfortable, we’ll leave. Consider it practice for the Lantern Rite tomorrow.”

“I’m already uncomfortable,” Xiao says. It comes out much meaner than intended, but Aether doesn’t look bothered by it. 

“ Too uncomfortable,” he says, and he tilts his head to the side the slightest bit because he’s a stubborn idiot and he knows damn well how to convince Xiao of his stupid plans.

“Fine.” he sighs. “But avoid the busy streets.”

Aether hums, hooking his arm through Xiao’s. “It’s Liyue, darling, every street is busy.”

Xiao kind of wishes he hated him.

Chapter Text

Xiao sleeps for the second day in a row. 

This time, when he wakes up, it’s much less panicked. In fact, he wakes up with a calm heart and mind, and when he looks at the handmade clock on the wall, it’s already quite late in the morning. But for the first time in his life, he doesn’t worry about Liyue. 

Okay, perhaps that’s a lie, because he did wake up five times in the middle of the night to teleport back and forth between here and Liyue Harbor. Aether finally granted him a key to this place – a so-called realm dispatch, apparently – which gives him the opportunity to leave at any time. It means that he can rest up in the manor, but continue his duties as well. All in all, quite ideal. 

Today is the day of the Lantern Rite. As soon as he realizes, the nerves come flying back. 

It feels like the end of their time together, somehow, even though Xiao promised to stay with him until he leaves. But the Lantern Rite is such a significant event that it’s impossible to ignore, especially now that he’ll finally be going for the very first time. With Aether, no less.

Surprisingly enough, it’s not that awkward between them. Though Xiao feels as if his own desires are constantly laid bare for Aether to see, he apparently does a good job at hiding them. They had dubbed themselves to be ‘just friends’ and Aether didn’t suspect a thing. Neither brought up the kiss, and it was okay that way. 

(If during several of his dreams, he recognized that feeling again, craved the taste, felt the press of lips against his own, endlessly loved Aether over and over again, and woke up in cold sweat, that is no one’s business but his own.) 

When he gets up, he can already hear Aether in the kitchen preparing breakfast or lunch. Brunch ? He is still getting familiar with these mortal terms. It smells sweet and savory, and he figures they’re pancakes again for Paimon’s sweet tooth. 

He stands awkwardly in the hallway waiting for Aether to notice him. His friend is still dressed in his pajamas, hair down. Paimon’s sitting at the kitchen table, munching away at a sunsettia, also dressed in some sort of night robe. For the first time since he joined Aether's travels, he feels out of place, never having taken off his armor. The mask on his hip feels heavy all of a sudden. 

“Goodmorning,” Aether says, smiling at him. “Lantern Rite today!”

“I’m aware.” Xiao stiffly nods and makes his way over to the table, taking a seat in the same place as yesterday. This way, Aether is right behind his back, and he won’t have to look at him. “I assume you’ll want to see the firework show?”

“Absolutely,” Aether says, sounding cheerful. As he speaks, his voice gradually gets closer, before ending up right next to Xiao. “I was thinking we could watch it from the very front of the harbor, underneath the jetty. There’s structures down there we can sit on, that way we won’t be in the crowd.”

“Underneath the jetty…?” Xiao questions. 

“Well, yeah.” Aether half-shrugs, and a soft pink color appears on his cheeks. “If you don’t like it, we can go somewhere else? I just thought you’d want a bit of privacy.”

“I’d like…” Xiao starts, hesitating for a moment when he catches Paimon’s cheeky grin. He forces himself to look the other way, not wanting to see the knowing look on her face any longer. “...I’d like to experience it like you would. I’m assuming that’s not underneath a jetty. ”

Aether chuckles, face flushing even brighter. He awkwardly scratches his neck, then says, “Sure - yeah, no, yeah. That’s… not what I do.”

“Yeah no yeah ,” Xiao echoes, frowning. “Your vocabulary is strange.”

Paimon giggles, which is Aether’s cue to walk away and disappear into the kitchen. Xiao worries for a moment that he feels embarrassed, and makes a mental note to apologize later. He doesn’t want to make Aether uncomfortable in his last week, after all. 

His last week. 

It hits him there, suddenly; Lantern Rite is the halfway point to his departure. They only have one more week together, a fragile few days, and then Aether is gone forever. It feels like so much time, yet also nothing at all. Ever since the start of their journey, Lantern Rite has been looming on the horizon as some sort of point-of-no-return, and now it’s here, and he doesn’t know what to do with himself. Doesn’t know how to experience the supposed joys of this festival when all he can think of is that he’s running out of time. Doesn’t know how to keep his feelings and emotions in for yet another week, when it already feels like they’ll combust out of him at any minute.

Perhaps this was all a bad idea. 

But he doesn’t say that - can’t say that. So he sits in silence as Aether serves Paimon a plate of pancakes, and then enjoys a fruit salad for himself, sitting right across from Xiao once again. This time, Xiao can’t bring himself to look away – but if Aether notices his staring, he doesn’t mention it. Or perhaps he’s also caught up in his own mind. 

After mealtime, Aether stands up to clap in his hands. He immediately catches Xiao’s attention – even if Aether was already on his mind – and he looks up, raising his eyebrows. 

“What is it?”

“We,” Aether says, gesturing between the three of them. “Are not going to show up to Lantern Rite in our pajamas – or armor, bless you Xiao. So I contacted a friend, and she made more formal outfits for all of us. How does that sound?”

“I don’t need a formal outfit,” Xiao says, at the same time that Paimon says, “Yes, thank you!”

“You’re welcome,” Aether says to Paimon, and then he turns to Xiao. “I know. It’s just for today.”

“It’ll be impractical in a fight.”

Aether smiles reassuringly. “I made sure to tell my friend about your duties. Don’t worry.”

Telling Xiao not to worry was as inefficient as telling Paimon not to eat, but he shuts his mouth just to discontinue the conversation. He knows that no matter what argument he brings up, Aether has a counterargument prepared. That's how it always has been, and how it will continue to be in the little time they have left. 

“Paimon wants to see the outfits!” the little fairy exclaims from beside them, clapping her hands excitedly. “Come on, show us!”

Aether smiles at her and turns to disappear into his room. Xiao can hear him rummaging through his belongings, coming out a short while after with a pile of clothes in his arms consisting of light pink, beige and navy blue colours. When he reaches the table, he hands the pink garment to Paimon, and the navy blue one to Xiao. The beige he keeps for himself, slowly unfolding it to show them what looks like a modern version of traditional Liyuen clothing, long robes and golden accents wrapping around the sleeves and waistline. It's strangely reminiscent of his usual clothes, and Xiao can immediately see that it's personally tailored for him. 

“It's beautiful,” he admits, a little hesitant to look at his own clothes. But Aether nods towards them with an encouraging smile, and that's all it takes for him to cave. 

He unwraps them carefully. After the clothes unfold beneath his fingers, Xiao finds himself looking at an outfit that initially looks similar to Aether's, with long sleeves and a dark blue cloak with silver rhinestones embedded into the lining. But then he folds the cloak away and sees a simple suit-like outfit underneath; a loose-fitting white button-up as well as thin black pants. Upon closer inspection, the shirt has those same silver rhinestones around its collar, and the pants have a nearly invisible belt with a small hook on the side to which he figures he can attach his mask. The finishing touch is a pair of tightly laced black boots Aether tosses him that he knows will work well in combat, with patterned soles and small pockets to hide knives and other tiny weapons. It's absolutely perfect. 

“This is gorgeous!” Paimon says from beside him, holding a fairy-sized qipao dress. “Thank you so much, Paimon loves it!”

“You're welcome,” Aether softly says, and his eyes travel quickly back and forth between her and Xiao, eventually coming to rest on the latter. Xiao finds it hard to meet his gaze, heart pumping with a sickly combination of anxiety and appreciation. Perhaps if he looks away for long enough Aether won't see the mixed feelings undoubtedly expressed on his face.

“Xiao?” he asks, sounding just as nervous as Xiao feels. 

Xiao looks up briefly, emotions spiking so high in his throat that he might combust. “They're beautiful. Thank you, Aether.”

Aether's face breaks out into a smile, and Xiao's heart skips a beat. “Wonderful. Then let's go put them on - don't wanna be late now, do we?”

Ten minutes later, Xiao re-emerges from his room in the new outfit, feeling a bit ridiculous. Sure, the outfit looks wonderful and feels smooth and convenient, but he can't help but think he looks like a fool engaging in mortal behaviours like these. The outfit is way out of his comfort zone, and knows he'll feel out of place in Liyue Harbor too. When he looked into the mirror earlier he could clearly see on his face that he wasn't used to dressing like this, and once again he'd felt that urge to teleport away and hide from all of this. 

Paimon's floating through the living room with a mirror in her hand, admiring herself in the new outfit. Xiao must admit Aether did a great job for her, dressing her in something traditionally Liyuen that she will cherish forever. She could get quite big-headed, after all, and this dress will probably boost her ego for the next year or so, cheering her up indefinitely. 

“Are you ready?” she asks when spotting him, quickly putting away the mirror. He nods stiffly, leaning against one of the pillars supporting the ceiling while he waits for Aether to come out. 

As if reading his mind, Paimon speaks. “He said he'd take a little longer. Hair problem.”

“I can wait,” Xiao replies. She nods, and then floats away to go back to admiring herself. 

He waits for perhaps a few minutes. A small part of him feels giddy, knowing that to an outsider, this whole situation probably looks more like a date than two close friends hanging out. To him, it's nothing more than that, but he wonders if Aether wishes it was a date. He knows he does, deep down. 

Finally, he can hear Aether's door knob turn, as well as footsteps in the hallway. Paimon lets out a loud gasp, which is followed by a small chuckle coming from Aether, and Xiao has to turn and look. 

He looks…

Well, he looks like a prince, somehow. 

His hair is fully down, long and wavy, reaching to around his elbows. It gleams in the light, and a small upper part of it is tied back in small braids, flowers intertwined with the twists of his hair. He's wearing the outfit from earlier, but only now does Xiao notice that the golden patterns from earlier take the shape of stars and moons that glitter softly. But what really catches his eye is his eyeliner, red like Xiao's own, accentuating the brown of his eyes and making him look far more intimidating than usual. It gives him something of a sly look, and Xiao feels his mouth fall open in surprise. 

He quickly catches himself and forces his face to return to its usual passive expression, but he knows Aether can't miss the inevitable blush on his face, or the smile he can't contain. 

Aether looks at him, jaw slacking. Unlike Xiao, he doesn't bother to hide it. “Wow. You look…”

He looks him up and down, then smiles. "Well, you know how I feel.”

It’s a small, yet painful reminder of that night - he knows how Aether feels. He wishes to hear it, out loud, just this once, but Paimon is right there, and he knows it’s not the right time. Still, he accepts this statement as a compliment, and nods in reply. 

“Um, is there something Paimon missed?” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Aether says. The little interaction breaks the tension in the air, and Xiao straightens up, ready to leave. He expects Aether to take out the realm dispatch and teleport away, but instead he takes out a rectangular mechanical device Xiao knows as his kamera. 

“Want to take a Lantern Rite photo?” Aether asks, tilting his head to the side like a pleading puppy. 

“You’re going to take a picture of me?” Xiao asks, folding his arms. He doesn’t know how to pose for a photo – never had one taken, never needed to – and feels embarrassment creep up his face. 

“Yeah,” Aether says, turning the kamera on. “As a keepsake. You don’t have to do anything, just… stand there and look pretty.”

“A keepsake?”

Aether nods. He points the kamera at Xiao, who tries his best to force a smile. A small flash goes off, and then the kamera prints a picture. 

Aether looks at it for a moment, then carefully tucks it away in his clothes. “Something to remember you by.”

“Oh,” is all Xiao can say. Aether's words feel like an emotional punch to the gut, and he has to swallow down a sudden lump in his throat. “I see.”

“Do you want one of me as well?” Aether asks, waving the kamera in the air.

Xiao wonders, just for a moment, if Aether knows. If perhaps he’s been a little too open with his emotions and feelings lately, and if he figured it out by himself but chose not to speak on it. But truth be told, he’s not sure he cares anymore. None of it matters anyway, not when the end of their time together is so near. What matters is the present, and in the present moment, he makes a decision. 

“I want one of us together,” he says, stepping forward. “If that’s possible.”

“Ooo, Paimon will be your photographer!” Paimon yells, flying forward to snatch the kamera from Aether’s hands. “Go on, stand by the window, where the light is all pretty.”

They awkwardly make their way over to said window, ushered into their places by Paimon. She’s very strict with how she wants her photo, poking at their bodies and arms until they end up with Xiao sitting on the windowsill, and Aether on the armrest of the chair right next to the window. When Paimon instructs him to rest his arms on his legs, his fingertips reach Aether’s elbow, and Aether jumps in surprise when they touch. He leans into Xiao as a response, letting him rest his hand on Aether’s lower arm. 

“Alright,” Paimon says, floating back and looking proud of her work. “Now smile.”

“Say something funny,” Xiao dryly says. Paimon looks offended, and it elicits a genuine laugh from Aether, which in turn makes Xiao smile at him. Just in that moment, a flash goes off, and Paimon floats towards them with a newly printed photo of them both. It looks candid and real despite the circumstances, and Xiao carefully takes it. 

“Thank you,” he says to her, tracing their silhouettes on the photograph. “I will keep this safe.”

“You’re welcome.” Paimon grins, placing her hands on her sides. “Now let’s finally get out of here, Paimon wants everyone to see Paimon’s beautiful dress!”

~

Morax sat before him, taking a slow sip of his tea. He looked as powerful as ever, always on his guard with his spear in his lap despite the peace surrounding them. There was something different about his aura today. Xiao couldn’t exactly put a finger on what it was; he had a hard time reading people's emotions. Especially his master's, someone who he only knew from a distance. He was a little confused as to why Morax had chosen him specifically to share his tea with, but it was an honor he would forever be grateful for. To be able to protect this nation and share moments with his master in return was a blessing most adepti weren't granted.

“You do good work in Liyue,” Morax said at that moment. Xiao sometimes wondered if he could read minds – after everything he’d seen his master do in the past, he wouldn’t be surprised. After all, he defied expectations in the best way possible. Perhaps that was why he had earned himself a seat as one of the seven archons, emerging victorious from nearly every battle. 

Xiao wasn’t around him when the latest battle stopped, busy with his duties elsewhere, as the archon war raged on. But he did know it had been an enormous battle, and it had taken all of Morax’ power to win. 

“I’m happy you approve,” he said, bowing his head out of respect. He caught his reflection in the teacup below his nose; he looked exhausted, with dark circles under his eyes after engaging in such a long battle. Not that it mattered. 

“Do you have any idea why I called you here?” Morax asked. He set his teacup down and smiled strangely, still with that weird aura coming off him. If Xiao hadn’t seen his archon form when he appeared, he might have been worried that he was a stranger impersonating the Geo Archon. 

“No idea, master,” Xiao said. Morax observed him for a moment, then took another sip. 

“Guizhong has fallen.”

This was news to Xiao – he hadn’t been back for long, and hadn’t heard the details of the battle. Looking back, it was a little weird for her to not be around, especially considering how close she was to Morax. They had ruled together, and he quickly concluded that Morax’ visit had something to do with her passing. 

“I’m sorry to hear that,” he said, placing a hand over his heart. “Is there anything I must do to honor her death?”

“No.” Morax smiled. “If you have time, I’d just like to share my thoughts.”

Xiao nodded, albeit a bit confused. He wasn’t very good at emotions, nor at comforting, so he had no clue why Morax wanted to share his thoughts with him of all people. But it was his god’s request, so he would listen no matter what. 

“How did she pass, if I may ask?”

“It happened in the battle,” Morax said. Xiao suddenly realized this must be why he seemed off; the grief must have changed him. “But I would rather speak about what her death will mean, and how it will affect the future of Liyue.”

“Of course, I apologize,” Xiao said, bowing his head again. Morax’ words were stern, something he didn’t like to hear. One more mistake, and he might as well call himself a failure of a servant. 

“I want you to protect Guili Plains,” Morax said. The name was unfamiliar to Xiao, and he looked up with his eyebrows raised. Upon seeing this, Morax continued, “It is where we are now, everything above Mount Tianheng. The mortals have named it after Guizhong and I. I will move them down toward the sea, where we can find a safer place for them while this war rages on.”

“I see.” Xiao nodded. Then, hesitantly, he added, “We will all greatly miss Guizhong.”

“Yes, we will.” Morax smiled again, but it was bittersweet. “I simply wish I had something to remember her by. So, if you can keep this place safe, we will build a shrine in her honor.”

“Understood, master,” Xiao said. Morax stood up, and he knew that he was to be dismissed. As a final message to his god before he left, he placed a hand over his heart and said, “I will protect this place. For the people of Liyue, and for you and Guizhong’s… alliance.”

Morax folded his hands together with a smile. “Not an alliance, Xiao. It is love that you are speaking of.”

~

Wangshu Inn looks more cheerful than usual in the Lantern Rite decorations. Xiao has seen it this way many times before, so he’s already quite used to it, but Paimon and Aether walk around with wide eyes and smiles, taking in all the decorations with awe on their faces. It’s slightly adorable, but Xiao will never admit it. Instead, he teleports to his balcony, leaving Aether to talk to Verr Goldet, as he mentioned he wanted to do so on the way there. 

His balcony isn’t empty. 

A small figure is leaning on the railing, dressed in her usual white dress. Her hair flows gently in the breeze, and she notices his presence immediately. 

“Adeptus Xiao,” Lumine says, standing up straight. “You look different.”

Xiao feels slightly embarrassed, looking down at his clothes. “Aether got these for me.”

“Of course he did,” she says, fingers toying with her hand jewelry. “Are you going to the Lantern Rite together?”

He nods, looking her up and down. She doesn’t look like she dressed up any differently than usual, so he thinks he knows his answer when he asks, “You?”

“Not my thing.” She smiles. “I hope you two have fun, though.”

He turns away, looking over Dihua Marsh with her. Their relationship has always been slightly strange; she gives off some sort of ‘older sister’ vibe that he’s not used to at all, and doesn’t feel right for him either. Especially not considering his relationship with Aether. But then again, he doesn’t really know her that well, so he might be wrong. Perhaps his initial dislike for her had tainted his judgement; after all it is quite difficult to be the best of friends with someone he considered an enemy for a very long time. 

“Do I have to give you the talk?” Lumine suddenly asks. Xiao turns to face her, and idly wonders if she knows about him and Aether. After all, it does seem like he tells her everything. 

The talk is something Aether explained to him once. Something older siblings or parents do to their loved ones’ lovers as a warning. He’s not sure he needs it, considering he and Aether aren’t even romantically involved. 

“Go ahead,” he says anyway. 

“Well...” Lumine turns to him with a mischievous look in her eyes that is eerily similar to Aether, reminding Xiao that they really are twins despite their opposite personalities. “You hurt him, I’ll kill ya, I think you know the drill.”

Xiao smiles bitterly. “At this rate, I’d be more worried about him hurting me.”

Her eyes narrow, “Has something happened?”

He quickly shakes his head, though he’s pretty sure it won’t convince her. Oh well, it probably doesn’t matter anyway. She hasn’t interfered with their adventures much, and he doubts she will interfere in their strange relationship. After all, she’ll get plenty of time with Aether once they leave, and he’ll probably tell her everything then. 

“In that case,” she says, smiling and standing up straight. “Happy Lantern Rite. Please take care of him for the night.”

“Will do,” Xiao says, and she walks away with an elegant wave. 

Xiao has never felt more alone in a city full of people. 

The Liyue Harbor streets are more crowded than ever before; citizens everywhere celebrate the Lantern Rite by gifting presents, lighting up lanterns and catching up with family and friends. Aether is on his left, Paimon on his right, yet it feels as if he’s all by himself in the city, the centre of everyone's attention. 

Heads turn. Whispers, here and there. He’s only been this far into the city once before, and back then people looked too scared to approach him. But now he’s dressed in Liyue attire instead of his armor, Aether by his side in his formal clothes, and he can’t avoid hearing the rumors that are flying around. He’s made enough of a name for himself to have all these people know exactly who he is and what he’s done. The only person who would be able to relate to this feeling of being terrifyingly known is Aether, and said friend doesn’t seem to have this problem at all. He’s looking at the lanterns and lights in awe with a happy expression on his face. With everything left unsaid between them, they have never been closer together, yet also never further apart. 

He lowers his head, watching the pavement beneath their feet shooting by. Aether’s greeted by acquaintances and friends, and he doesn’t engage in the conversation. Only when a small girl holding the hand of her blue-haired father asks who he is, he shortly answers. “Xiao.”

“I’ve heard of you,” says another voice, and he looks up to see a tall white-haired adult next to the father. “Conqueror of demons, right?” His face flushes with embarrassment, and the blue-haired man quietly hands him a popsicle. 

“Correct.” Xiao nods, pressing his lips together in a thin line. 

“I see,” the man chuckles, scratching his neck. “I am Chongyun, an exorcist. It is an honor to finally meet you.”

Xiao folds his arms, looking him up and down. For an exorcist, he seems to have an unusual amount of anxiety when speaking to strangers. He would’ve expected someone who works with demons to be more confident with his words, but perhaps he’s just not familiar with this new generation of citizens. 

“An exorcist, huh,” he says, eyeing the yin-yang symbol on his clothing. “An honorable line of work, though exorcising demons is pointless. They always return in the end.”

Aether awkwardly chuckles, taking hold of Xiao’s elbow. “Let’s keep walking, shall we?” 

Chongyun looks puzzled, though not hurt. Perhaps what Xiao said was insensitive, or new knowledge to exorcists. Did they really believe that demons were gone forever once expelled? 

“Happy Lantern Rite to both of you,” the other man says, pulling Chongyun along. “Let’s go, Yun.”

Aether waves them goodbye, then turns to Xiao. “Shall we head to the seaside? The firework show is best seen from there.”

“If it’s what you wish for,” Xiao says, and Aether smiles, nodding. He pulls at Xiao’s arm and forces him to continue moving, not letting go of him. Paimon floats around their heads in circles, showing off her new dress to every stranger willing to speak. All of it turns out to be very distracting from the city's beauty, but Xiao still takes a few moments to look around, trying to appreciate the area despite the anxiety high in his throat. He has his mind set on enjoying this night, no matter what it might take. 

They spot a few familiar faces on the way to the seaside; Lady Keqing and Ganyu eating together in Wanmin restaurant, Hu Tao chasing Qiqi around, Zhongli sipping tea while listening to the storyteller. Xiao feels obligated to greet him, and Zhongli wishes them a good evening with the promise of catching up soon. 

Eventually, they reach the seaside. Even here, Aether can’t avoid his friends, getting dragged away by people like the half-adeptus lawyer he introduces as Yanfei, Tianquan Ningguang and Captain Beidou, even the usually reserved Shenhe. She appears to recognize Xiao, and he nods to her in greeting. 

“You both look nice,” she says after exchanging formalities. “Are you on a date?”

Aether chokes on the wine Beidou had forced into his hands, coughing as he laughs awkwardly. Xiao feels his face flush, glaring at her and then looking the other way. 

“We’re… we’re not,” Aether eventually coughs out, wiping his mouth with his hand.

“Oh. I see,” Shenhe says, looking back and forth. “I apologize, I always thought Xiao –”

He shoots her another glare, efficiently cutting off her sentence – though she may be near adeptal status, she still has respect for him, usually treating him as an authority figure, which means he has some sort of power over her. He’s usually uncomfortable with it, but now he can only be grateful. Aether looks back and forth between them for a moment, then seems to let go of the subject. Xiao wishes he could do the same as easily.

“Happy Lantern Rite,” Shenhe says, turning around. “I know it is your last, and I hope you enjoy it.”

“I will, thank you,” Aether says. When she disappears into the crowd, he stares into the spot she vanished at for several more seconds, sinking deeply into thought. Xiao pulls at his sleeve to catch his attention, and after succeeding in doing so, Aether takes him further to the sea. 

They end up standing amongst the crowd despite Xiao’s initial uneasiness with the idea. Aether is a great comfort as he squeezes himself through masses of people just to get a good view. Once the crowd starts to recognize them, they part, allowing them a path to the very front. All while this is happening, Aether holds his hand from behind, squeezing it every time Xiao’s face spasms with anxiety. Eventually, they reach a railing, and Xiao starts to highly doubt that this was all worth it. 

Aether joins him on his left, hands clutching the railing. It’s strangely silent around him, and Xiao looks up to find Paimon’s chatty presence gone. Aether follows his gaze, then bumps their shoulders together. 

“She left with Xiangling to get some food. She’ll probably be back right before the firework show.”

“How long will we have to wait?” Xiao asks, looking around them. The crowd has left a few feet of space in a circle around them, as if avoiding them. He knows it’s due to Aether’s fame and reputation, but a small part of him still worries that it’s also because of the energy he gives off. They should find a more secluded spot after the fireworks, just to make sure no one has been affected by his karmic debt. 

When he looks down, there’s a ring on Aether’s right hand he hadn’t seen before. It’s thick and gold, engraved with the crescent shape of a moon. It strikes him as oddly familiar, and after a few moments of reminiscing, he remembers seeing a similar one on Lumine’s fingers before. 

“What does your ring mean?” he asks, pointing at Aether’s hand. 

Aether stretches his fingers, looking down. “It’s a shared one with Lumine. I have the moon engraved, she has the stars. Our native names are in there as well.”

Xiao leans down to inspect the ring closer. Underneath the moon, nearly invisible to the human eye, is writing in a script he doesn’t know. 

“So your real name isn't Aether?” he asks. “Why’d you change it?”

“No, my name is Aether,” his friend says, twisting the ring with his fingers. “It’s just said differently in my homeland.”

He turns to Xiao with a smile. “What about you? Do you have any other names?”

“Only one,” Xiao says, facing away from him. Way below, he can see a few people in boats preparing for the fireworks show. “Morax was the one who gave me the name Xiao. Before that… I was Alatus.”

“Alatus,” Aether slowly says, leaning back on his feet, holding himself in balance by the railing. “Like the constellation. Winged. It’s nice.”

Xiao hums absentmindedly. “I suppose. I prefer Xiao.” 

“I can understand that,” Aether smiles. “And by the way, to answer your question, the fireworks start in a few minutes.”

Xiao nods. Silence falls between them as they continue watching the preparations and the glittering sea. He can see Aether in the corner of his vision, looking simply ethereal with these clothes, and the new hairstyle.

Naturally, their kiss comes to mind – it always does. 

The feelings and emotions of that night rush straight back into his heart as soon as he remembers the press of lips against his own. It had felt so wrong, so painful, but also so right, as if it was always meant to be this way. As if from the moment Aether walked into Wangshu Inn, everything had started building towards that night, the outcome inevitable. He can still feel the way Aether had held his face, and how he himself had frozen in place. 

What does Aether want? Is there even anything he desires? Or have all his desires been fulfilled, and is that why he’s leaving? Was Xiao not an important enough desire for him to stay? Or did he not desire Xiao in the first place? 

He felt selfish in enjoying the kiss. He had made a decision that night, to keep his own feelings hidden for the sake of Aether’s happiness, as well as their friendship. And he feels even more selfish for wanting to kiss him again, right here and right now in the eerie blue light of the moon, just because Aether looks so handsome tonight and he’s not sure he can keep lying to him for much longer. 

He wishes Aether would stay. He wants to live vividly through every second of every minute with him, holding him and loving him and soaking him up like a sponge so that when he leaves he will have gathered enough memories of him to remember him by. He wants to spend every next moment in these next seven days with him, until Aether steps out of this world and travels to the next, leaving Xiao to deal with the mess they’ve made of themselves. Or, until he convinces Aether to stay, clutching onto his clothes and pinning him down to the earth. If only it was a few years earlier than it is currently  – he longs for the time where he was stronger than Aether in a fight, and actually would have been capable of holding him back. 

He shouldn’t say anything, he knows that. It’ll only make things harder for both of them. It will make the grief stronger, the sadness heavier, and the distance between them much, much further. His mind yells at him to let it go, forget it and move on while he still can – but his heart begs him to hold Aether, to make a move now and enjoy their last few days together the way he wants to so badly, so that he won’t have to imagine what could have been after he’s already gone. To take and take and take until they’re fully and completely intertwined, and then perhaps, he will have convinced Aether to stay with him. 

Tears start forming behind his eyes. He speaks without thinking.

“Stay with me.”

Aether turns to face him, frowning. “Huh?”

“Stay with me,” Xiao repeats, desperation sneaking through in his voice. “Don’t leave to go to the next world. I don’t want you to.”

“Xiao…” Aether chuckles, but his voice sounds sad. “You know I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” Xiao asks. His throat starts closing up more every second, and he realizes that he’s feeling pure heartbreak for the very first time. “Have you not found a reason to stay?”

When Aether smiles at him, Xiao knows he remembers the conversation in the dandelion field too. “Xiao, why would you ask me this now?”

“I... feel for you the way you feel for me,” Xiao blurts out. It shocks both Aether and himself, but from the moment he says it, he knows it’s true. He may not know much about human emotions, but it is clear from everything that he wants to be with Aether, has loved him for as long as he can remember, and will love him for an undetermined amount of time. It had started out as a platonic sort of affection, but it has morphed into so much more. 

Aether now knows this too. For just a split-second, Xiao has a vision of a universe in which Aether accepts his confession happily and kisses him just as the fireworks shoot up into the sky, staying with him until the end of time. 

This is not that universe. 

“Xiao - I -” Aether stutters out, turning completely red and looking severely upset. Trust Xiao to have the worst timing possible; he actually looks offended rather than excited. “Don’t do this.”

“I’m sorry,” Xiao whispers, reaching out for his hands. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to tell you, I don’t want to ruin this, I don’t want to make this harder, but I can’t live with myself knowing I could’ve told you and I didn’t.”

“You could’ve told me earlier,” Aether said, stepping out of his reach. “You could’ve told me years ago, or after I kissed you - not now, Xiao, you're too late. ”

“I didn’t know back then,” Xiao says. “I didn’t -”

“You didn’t want to make things difficult,” Aether interrupts him, looking away with tears in his eyes. He bites his bottom lip and chuckles dryly. “Well, that didn’t go great.”

“I’m sorry,” Xiao repeats, but the words fall on deaf ears. “This was a horrible idea, I'm sorry, but I simply don’t want you to leave.”

“You're telling me this now?” Aether snaps, turning to face him. Tears actually fall this time, and the crowd around them moves back. Xiao looks around to realize that they’re being watched by dozens of people, and feels absolutely mortified. He kind of wishes he'd taken Aether up on that offer of staying underneath a jetty.

But his feelings don’t matter right now. He watches Aether, who’s running his hand through his hair exasperatedly. “You have no idea what it’s been like, Xiao.”

“I think I have a clue,” Xiao argues. “You’re not the only one who has lost people, and who’s been left on his own.”

“That’s different,” Aether says. He looks mad, an expression Xiao has barely ever seen on him, and he knows he majorly screwed up. “You don’t know what it’s like to have this exact conversation over and over again with hundreds of people begging me to stay. You don’t know -”

He takes a deep breath, wiping tears off his face. Xiao can only watch in stunned silence, frozen in place. 

“You have no idea how many times I had to tell people I couldn’t stay for them,” Aether continues. “And to hope, constantly, that the one person I was going to tell last would also want me to stay. But then he doesn't say a thing for a week until after he’s already broken my heart - after you lied to me, told me you didn’t feel the same. But now you suddenly say that you do… You had no right to do that, Xiao.”

“I never said I didn’t feel the same,” Xiao whispers. Tears prickle behind his eyes. 

“You insinuated it,” Aether says, voice sharp as a knife. He laughs coldly, but it sounds more like a sob. “God, Xiao, all I’ve ever wanted was for you to ask me to stay.”

“And I just did,” Xiao says, stepping forward to take Aether’s hands. “I’m asking you, right now, to stay with me. I can’t…”

He looks around at Liyue Harbor, at the few people watching them, and the fireworks show that has long started. “Aether, I can’t do all this without you.”

Aether smiles bitterly. “You’ll figure it out.”

Xiao has felt hurt before, but never like this. Aether takes his heart and stabs into it, twisting the knife deeper and deeper until he’s left to bleed to death. It's what he's been doing from the very start; slowly building Xiao up piece by piece only to slam him to bits with a hammer when he finished. And worst of all, he wasn't even doing it on purpose. If he did do it on purpose it would be much easier; that would give Xiao a reason to hate him and move on quickly. 

But it seems the odds are never in his favor, because he loves Aether and Aether loves him, yet they're standing here breaking each other's hearts over and over again.

To love and to be loved – is it worth it, if it feels like this?

“Gods,” Aether says, huffing out a laugh that doesn’t contain any humor at all, eyes sparkling with tears. “Look at us.”

“I’m sorry,” Xiao says again. A single tear slips past his lashes. 

“So am I,” Aether says. 

Xiao, a broken glass. Aether, hands bloody. 

Aether lets go of his hands, and disappears into the crowd.

Chapter Text

Xiao’s next hour in the harbor goes by in a haze. He spends the better part of it frozen on the spot, watching the firework show but not really seeing anything. The crowd around him moves in closer and closer over time. He barely registers it. If he thought his thoughts were overwhelming before, this is ten times worse. His head hurts like hell, sharp pains behind his eyes, stabbing wounds into his brain. Eventually, he gathers the mental capacity to teleport away and ends up on the outskirts of the harbor, trying to distract himself by watching over Liyue’s citizens before eventually giving up and sitting down in the grass.

No one finds him for a while. The streets are crowded, families and friends sharing dinner and telling each other stories of local legends and fairytales. Xiao lets it all wash over him, barely registering his surroundings. 

He feels numb. He feels numb because his emotions are too overwhelming to fully register, especially while he’s still getting used to feeling this much. It’s much easier to feel nothing at all than to be trapped in his current cycle. It starts with anger; raging, seething hatred for himself because he wasted so much time. Hatred for Aether because he’s leaving him alone, and hatred for everyone who witnessed their conversation just now. Next is regret, all-consuming and suffocating; wishing he hadn’t told Aether, regretting not telling him sooner, regretting the kiss and regretting allowing himself to fall in love with his friend. The regret morphs into sadness; grieving for everything that could have been, of the alternate universes and worlds where things worked out. He can almost see it in the back of his mind; silhouettes and blurry images of the two of them, together. Aether settling down in Teyvat, and Xiao settling down with him. Then, finally, denial; feeling that there’s nothing to mourn because there was never anything in the first place. The disturbing thought that Aether does not love him, perhaps never did. And even if he does love him, it doesn’t matter, not anymore. Xiao knew how this would end from the very beginning; that first day when Aether told him he would leave. And perhaps even before that, because everyone left him eventually and he shouldn’t have expected Aether to be any different. He’s had countless years to prepare, countless years to grieve. He made things worse for himself by confessing his feelings out of pure selfishness. Then, the denial circles back to anger.

Evening morphs into night. The stalls in the harbor get emptier over time, and so do the streets. Young adults and teenagers remain, hanging out in small groups and cliques, most of them sharing bottles of whatever mortals drink nowadays. They’re loud and disturbing, but a pleasant distraction. 

For the first time in his life, Xiao has no sense of direction. From the moment of his creation up until very recently he's always had a goal in life; first, to serve his god, devouring humans’ dreams and ambitions. Then Morax freed him from his chains, and his duty was to protect Liyue. Liyue changed over time until his protection was no longer needed, and his duties shifted to simply watching over the nation. And these past few days of him not being here helped him realize that perhaps even that isn’t necessary anymore. So his duty became accompanying Aether, helping him out before he finally left. And now he’s gone and messed that up - what is he supposed to do now?

He doesn’t know himself without his duties. He doesn’t know his own place in this world, nor what purpose he has. Part of him knows Aether and Zhongli would advise him to settle down like a mortal, integrating into city life and assuming a new identity. But that was never something he intended to do – besides, even without his duties, his karmic debt can still seriously harm the mortals of Liyue, which renders living in the harbor impossible.

Xiao can’t imagine Aether wants him in his company anymore. It was clear from his reaction and expression that Xiao deeply hurt him, and he's aware that he shouldn’t re-enter the teapot without being called. The realm dispatch feels heavy in his pocket. 

“You look lonely.”

Xiao looks up at the familiar voice; finally, someone has found him. And that someone happens to be the mortal form of his old master taking a late-night stroll. He feels ashamed for not being on guard tonight – he’s not even wearing his armor. 

“It is good to see you,” Zhongli says. He slowly lowers himself, taking a seat right next to Xiao in the grass. Xiao bows his head out of respect, placing a hand over his heart. 

“I hope you enjoyed the Lantern Rite,” Zhongli says, observing him with a strange sparkle in his eyes. “Though, judging by your expression, that appears to be a false hope.”

Xiao doesn’t know how to respond to this. He and Morax – he and Zhongli – were never the type to discuss his feelings. If anyone’s feelings were discussed, they would be Zhongli’s, and only briefly. Xiao’s heart never mattered – why was Zhongli curious now?

“It doesn’t matter,” he says honestly, though he feels his throat squeeze together in sadness. 

“On the contrary, I think it does,” Zhongli says. The smell of wine hangs around him, an indication that he probably met up with his Mondstadt friend. But his words are sharp and clear, so he must be sober. 

“Where has Aether gone?” Zhongli asks, feigning innocence. “I thought the two of you were going out together.”

A small smile hangs around his lips, showing Xiao that he’s aware of far more than he’s letting him know. Perhaps he had a suspicion all along, or perhaps he witnessed the conversation in one way or another. It embarrasses him to think about. 

“He’s gone home,” Xiao says, and then he realizes home for Aether is away from this world . “In his teapot, I mean.”

“Ah yes, that little trinket,” Zhongli says. “I wonder who will inherit it after he’s gone. Perhaps…”

His voice trails off as he watches Liyue Harbor in the far distance. Xiao frowns at him.

“Perhaps what?”

“Perhaps,” Zhongli continues, “you could take it.”

Xiao huffs; it’s bizarre to think about himself in such a mansion, all alone. It would be quite ridiculous, but sad as well, as it would be a constant reminder of Aether. But he can’t say that to Zhongli, so he says, “I don't need it. Wangshu Inn is my residency.”

“It doesn’t have to be.” Zhongli smiles. “If you had a teapot just like him, you’d be able to go anywhere you want and sleep in your own bed. I assume you have started sleeping recently? You look well-rested.”

Xiao doesn’t know why this is happening. Zhongli had never bothered to show up to check on him earlier; why did he care for Xiao’s well-being now? It was far too late. 

“Just a bit,” is his curt reply, lips pressed together in a thin line out of pure frustration. Zhongli stays quiet for a minute or two. 

Then, finally, he says six simple words. 

“He’ll miss you too, you know.”

It’s all Xiao needs for his facade to crumble. 

~

Two weeks after the Rite of Parting, Morax visited Xiao’s balcony. 

Xiao was sitting on the Wangshu Inn roof, spear resting in his lap. It had been a long day of slaying demons and evicting dangers from his own abode. Constantly accumulating karmic debt and not entering the realm for ages had resulted in cracks in his abode’s defense, and slowly but surely enemies had slipped inside. If he’d noticed them a bit later, they might have been able to enter Liyue harbor through the realm. It was careless of him, and something he had to improve on. The threat had been quelled for now, but he knew it was only a matter of time before new demons took the place of the old ones. 

He could sense Morax’ presence long before he set foot on the balcony. Though he disguised himself well for mortals, there was something inherently powerful about his existence that any adeptus could sense from miles away. 

The news of his death had come as a shock to Xiao, and the news of him still living as an even greater one; during the few weeks in which Xiao believed Rex Lapis had passed, he hadn’t been able to sense his power at all. 

He teleported, reappearing in front of his master and kneeling down, spear planted into the wooden balcony. Morax looked at him with a blank expression, motioning for him to get up. Xiao obeyed, but kept his head low out of respect. 

“Master,” he said, placing a hand over his heart. “How can I be of assistance?”

Morax smiled, waving his hand carelessly. “Please, Xiao, ‘master’ isn’t necessary anymore. I am no longer the Geo Archon, nor am I your superior.”

Hearing those words was bittersweet. He knew it was Morax’ decision for Liyue, and so it could only be good, yet it was still strange for Xiao to see him as equal. He was, in all ways, inferior to Morax. To treat him as a friend, or even anything other than a god, felt plain disrespectful. 

Still, he nodded. “I apologize… Morax. How can I help you?”

Morax took off his gloves, folding his hands together. “I was hoping we could have a talk. And… I go by Zhongli these days. Call me that, if you so please.”

“Zhongli,” Xiao repeated after him, testing out the name. It felt uncomfortable and unfamiliar, yet fitting all the same. “I understand.”

“Very well.” Morax smiled. “Now, as for our conversation… I hope we can find a place to sit down?”

A few minutes later, Xiao brought Morax – Zhongli – into the room Verr Goldet had reserved for him. It had never been used before; after all, he had no need for it. All he did with the room was store his armor and weapon materials. He opened a window to let in the soft breeze, blowing the freshly-gathered dust out of the window with a flick of the hand. 

Zhongli settled down in an armchair by the door, crossing one leg over the other and resting his hands on his knees. Xiao stayed by the window, breathing in the fresh evening air, watching the golden colors of the sky. 

For a minute, neither of them spoke. Then, Xiao finally gathered the courage to ask why he was here.

Zhongli paused before answering. 

“I came here to discuss your contract.”

Immediately, Xiao’s mind jumped to the worst possibility; that perhaps he hadn’t done his duties well enough, and Zhongli had decided he was best off letting the other adepti do all the work. But Zhongli said nothing of the sort, smiling calmly at him without saying a word.

“My contract?” he finally asked, when the silence had dragged on for so long that it became uncomfortable. 

Zhongli nodded, “It is only natural to discuss this, when I just fulfilled the ‘contract to end all contracts’.”

He said the last part with such enunciation that Xiao could practically feel the quotation marks in the sentence. The contract to end all contracts – what did it mean? Was Xiao’s agreement with him over? Surely not – Liyue still needed him, and he still needed Liyue. Without his duties, he had no purpose as a yaksha. 

“Don’t fear,” Zhongli said, perfectly analyzing his reaction as he always did. “This does not mean I will force you to abandon your current duties.”

“Then what does it mean?” Xiao asked, playing with the hem of his shirt.

Zhongli smiled at him, looking calm as ever. “It simply means that you are free, if you wish to be.”

Free. 

Xiao glanced at his Anemo vision; the representation of Barbatos’ support. When he granted Xiao the vision, he too, said it represented his freedom. Freedom he never had, freedom he could gain, freedom to go anywhere and do anything, when given the opportunity. It had meant nothing to Xiao back then, and it meant nothing to him now. 

“I don’t desire freedom,” he said, turning back to face Zhongli. “It is my duty to protect this nation, and that is what I will continue to do. Having freedom means not having those duties… and without my duties, I am no one.”

Zhongli sighed, standing upright. It was clear in his every move that he was preparing to leave after hearing Xiao’s negative answer, and Xiao watched him in silence, frozen in place. 

“I had a feeling you’d say that,” Zhongli said, buttoning up his coat. “Though I had hoped that by now, you would have realized you’re more than just your duties.”

“I am an adeptus,” Xiao persisted. “A yaksha. This is who I am meant to be.”

Zhongli bitterly smiled at him.

“You have the power to move worlds, Xiao. It is hidden deep within you, underneath the clipped wings on your back.”

He stepped forward to place a hand on Xiao’s shoulder, squeezing it as if comforting him. 

“I only wish for you to find your true self one day. When that day comes, I will truly be at peace as an Archon.”

~

Zhongli leaves him after dawn. 

He stayed with Xiao until the sun came up, quietly chatting to him about the Lantern Rite festivities and his visits to other nations. He looks calm these days, as if he’s found peace and purpose in life by traveling through other nations and absorbing their culture. Xiao tries his best to absorb all the information he’s given, but finds it hard to focus on anything other than himself. He knows it’s selfish, and quite rude towards his master. But he also knows that Zhongli is well aware of this, and the only purpose of his stories is to provide a distraction for him. 

He doesn’t let his guard down around Zhongli. He does tell him about the past week, but forces his face to remain passive, and his voice to remain steady. Zhongli listens to it all with an intense expression on his face, not bothering to offer pointless advice or criticize Xiao’s actions. Instead, he offers a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, and that is more than Xiao could have ever asked for. 

He doesn’t cry. Not because he’s not sad, but because he simply doesn’t have the energy for it. 

Sitting beside Zhongli like this reminds him of the past, when he and the other adepti would watch over the city of Liyue Harbor together. Perhaps that’s where he gained the habit of watching the sunset; back when all five of the Yakshas were still together, and they took the occasional break to share their concerns and experiences. It’s nostalgic in a sweet way, and actually makes him feel a bit better.

“I don’t know what to do,” he says, moments before Zhongli leaves. He didn’t mean to say it, but doesn’t regret it either. It’s the truth, after all, and Zhongli is one of the very few people he can confide in. 

“Explain,” Zhongli quietly says. 

Xiao takes a moment to gather his thoughts, taking deep breaths.

“I don’t know how to talk to Aether. I don’t know what we are, and if we should ever be… more . I don’t know how things will pan out, and if they take a turn for the worse, I don’t know how to handle that.”

There are a million words stuck in his throat, curses and frustrated rants about how he feels, but he keeps them locked in his vocal cords, knowing they won’t contribute to the conversation. In fact, he feels that he’s already said too much. 

Zhongli hums lowly in his throat. “Have you ever considered the fact that you don’t have to know anything?”

When Xiao frowns at him, he smiles and continues. “This is new for both of you. There is no right or wrong answer, nor a right or wrong path to take. The most you can do is take it day by day, and figure it out together.”

“What if he doesn’t wish to speak with me?” Xiao whispers, finally admitting his main fear about all of this. “What if he doesn’t even care to say goodbye, and this will have been our last conversation?”

“He wouldn’t do that,” Zhongli says, which is something Xiao objectively knows, but is still afraid of. The thought of Aether leaving without another word or perhaps already having left has been haunting his mind ever since he left the harbor. He doesn’t want to end things on bad terms – in fact, he doesn’t want to end things at all.

“Do you want my advice?” Zhongli then asks, smiling at him. Xiao nods, if only to hear an outsider’s perspective. 

“I think you should give him space for a while until you’ve figured out what your heart wants. And when you’re sure of yourself, talk to him. Tell him everything.”

“Everything?” 

“Everything.”

Xiao spends two days in solitude. 

It’s not as peaceful or quiet as he likes it to be. Somehow, he gravitates right back to the person he was before, falling back into the habit of waking up, fighting, resting, fighting, having dinner, fighting again. He finds demons on the outskirts of Liyue and destroys them over and over again, until he’s sunken comfortably into the familiar routine and it’s as if nothing ever changed. 

He gets time to think. Which is… well. It’s terrifying, but part of him knows it’s the right thing to do. Though it already feels like he’s wasted way too much time thinking about Aether and their strange relationship, he’s yet to come to any conclusion. So, that’s his new goal, as he kills monsters left and right. He’s careless in his actions, mind in an entirely different place. He wins his fights due to pure muscle memory and skill, no concentration required. Perhaps, he thinks, he’s grown bored of it all. 

He doesn’t entirely mind the loneliness. Sometimes the endlessly tiring routine, the quiet hum of chatter in Wangshu Inn and the wind whizzing by is all Xiao really needs. He used to be someone who thought solitude was always painful, or depressing. But he learned long ago to appreciate these moments of peace, of being cooped up inside his own mind, of watching the sunset alone. It’s not hard at all to return to these old habits now that Aether’s gone. 

But that’s the thing - he’s not actually gone. Not yet. They just aren’t talking. Xiao feels anxious knowing that he’s wasting two whole days that could be spent with Aether. 

He wonders where Aether has gone. Occasionally, he’ll catch a glimpse of Lumine in Liyue Harbor, sometimes even Paimon, but Aether never appears. Xiao hopes he hasn’t scared him off from socializing completely, but deep down he knows he’s probably just in his teapot. He still has the realm dispatch on him, and every few minutes he takes it out, wondering whether or not he should use it. He longs to see Aether again even if he hasn’t fully gathered his thoughts, but he knows that’s selfish of him. He takes Zhongli’s advice, and gives Aether the space he undoubtedly needs. 

Two days after the Lantern Rite, Xiao finds a visitor underneath the wooden structures that support Wangshu Inn, hiding away from the crowds. Said visitor is busy playing an unfamiliar tune on a flute, dressed in his signature greenish outfit. Xiao pulls at his hat as a way of greeting him. 

“Tsk,” Venti says, readjusting the position of his hat on his head. “You adepti are so rude nowadays.”

“What do you want?” Xiao asks, getting straight to the point. He has no need for visitors, not when the sun is about to set, and especially not when the visitor in fact is the always-cheery Anemo Archon. If Venti is here, it’s most likely to tease or ridicule him, or because something terrible happened. He knows it isn’t the latter, so he prepares himself for the worst. 

“What, can an Archon not visit a dear friend?” Venti asks, gasping and feigning hurt. “My oh my, how the times have changed. Back in my day -”

“I have no time for chit-chat,” Xiao interrupts, folding his arms. “Get to the point.”

Venti smirks, eyes twinkling with something Xiao doesn’t like. “Alright then. Tell me why a good blond friend of ours has appeared in Mondstadt looking like the world is ending?”

“Are you referring to the Dragonspine alchemist?” Xiao asks, pretending to be unaware of the direction Venti is trying to steer the conversation in. “If he of all people looks worried, perhaps you should return to your Archon duties and protect Mondstadt instead of bothering me.”

“You say the sweetest things,” Venti says. He reaches out to pinch Xiao’s cheek like a grandma, and Xiao steps back in disgust. 

“Get your hands off me.”

Venti pretends he doesn’t hear, gesturing towards Xiao with his flute. “Playtime’s over. What have you done to poor Aether?”

“It’s not your business,” Xiao grumbles out, looking away from him. “I can handle it myself.”

“And by ‘handling it’ you mean ‘hiding away for days on end until Aether starts to believe you never want to see him again’?”

“What?” Xiao asks, frowning. “That’s ridiculous, he was the one that left me .” 

“Aha!” Venti exclaims, doing a little victory dance. “So something did happen, I knew it!”

“I hate you,” Xiao says, turning away. “I’m leaving now.”

Venti tuts, grabbing Xiao’s shoulder to hold him in place. Though he would never seriously harm Xiao, there’s still a certain amount of Anemo power intertwined with his grip, forcing Xiao to stay grounded and not teleport away. 

“I’ll stop teasing you,” Venti says, and his expression shifts. “But I am worried about Aether, and about you too. As is Zhongli.”

He’s quiet for a moment, eyes scanning Xiao’s face. With how bright they are in the dark afternoon, Xiao almost feels like he’s being X-rayed. 

“Did you two fight because he’s leaving?” Venti asks, nearly hitting the nail on the head. “Or…”

His eyes widen, and Xiao can feel the wind pick up as his excitement does the same. “Did you two… you know… and then, he ghosted you?”

Xiao rolls his eyes, “I don’t even want to know what you’re trying to say.”

“I’m trying to say that Aether looks heartbroken,” Venti says, letting go of Xiao’s shoulder to drape himself over the wooden structures of the Inn all dramatically. “And you look miserable too, so it’s my legal duty to fix whatever situation you’ve created for yourselves.”

Xiao narrows his eyes at him, “No it’s not.”

“Yes it is!” Venti protests. “I’m the closest friend you have after Aether and Zhongli, plus a certified love expert – I’m basically the only person you can trust with this.”

Unfortunately, Xiao knows better than to argue with him. Though Venti may appear as a jokester most of the time, he’s quite serious when it comes to the people he cares about. This means that no matter how hard Xiao tries, Venti will interrogate him until the crack of dawn, and he’ll have to spill eventually. It is one of the many traits of Venti that irritates him, and he takes a brief moment to reconsider their watery friendship. 

“Fine,” he finally says, slapping away Venti’s hand when he tries to pull at Xiao’s sleeve. “Do you really want to know?”

Venti nods wide-eyed, scrambling to get back on his feet. Now that his dramatic act is over, he looks much more approachable. 

Xiao rolls his eyes. He can’t believe he’s confiding in Venti , of all people. 

“I’m in love with Aether,” he says, sighing and bracing himself for the worst. He’s not sure he actually said it out loud before Venti responds with a “What the fuck?”

It almost – almost – makes him laugh. 

“Okay – well I knew that,” Venti says after a moment of silence, though he looks as if he’s just seen a ghost. “Everyone knew that, you’re like, super obvious about it.”

“Shut it,” Xiao says, and Venti actually listens. “That’s not the point – he feels the same and I pretended I didn’t because he’s leaving soon, and then at the Lantern Rite I confessed anyway and now we’re not talking.”

“Ahh,” Venti says. “Sorry, I’m still stuck on the part where you said you're in love with Aether.” 

“I thought you said you knew,” Xiao deadpans. 

“Well, yeah.” Venti shrugs. “I just didn’t know you knew.”

“I don’t usually go around showcasing my feelings. It’s pointless.”

“Is it?” Venti asks, folding his arms in a way that mimics Xiao's form. “I’d say that sharing your feelings is usually for the better.”

“Not in this case,” Xiao says, and he immediately bites his tongue afterwards in regret. He has already shared too much about himself; he is probably wasting Venti’s time. And it’s not like Venti can really fix anything that’s going on, so why was Xiao trusting him with this in the first place?

Venti hums lowly, “I think you worry too much.”

“I think you don’t worry enough,” is Xiao’s immediate rebuttal, and Venti chuckles in reply.

“This isn’t about me, thank you very much,” he says. “Listen – I think you worry too much about what’s going to happen when Aether leaves, rather than feel satisfied with what already has happened. By which I mean, the relationship you already have.”

Xiao despises him. How on earth is he supposed to feel grateful for what happened between them, when they have only broken each other’s hearts?

He sighs and turns to face Venti, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means…” Venti starts, turning on his heel to start pacing back and forth. His step is light and springy, as if the wind could blow him away at any moment. “... That you tend to look at every situation with the most pessimistic outlook ever, bless. Tell me this – why would you concern yourself with how your love will change your life, rather than be content that the love existed in the first place? Is it not enough to enjoy what you have while you still have it?”

“Easy for you to say,” Xiao grumbles, though part of him understands what Venti is trying to say – he may not be the god of love, but he has always known a great deal about it anyway. Still, it’s hard to fully believe him when the pain of Aether leaving is so fresh in his mind.

“I know.” Venti sighs. “But listen, this is not the end. Whoever will come next -”

“There won’t be a next,” Xiao interrupts, balling his hands into fists, growing annoyed by Venti's cheerful attitude. “I have never - I will never -”

“- Meet someone like him?” Venti finishes his sentence for him, smiling despite the conversation topic. “Oh, Xiao. You don’t have to meet someone like him. Not to survive, not to exist, not to love. You have love within you, something he has awakened, but that won’t leave just because he’s gone, you know?”

“It feels like it,” Xiao confesses in a whisper. There’s a weight pressing down on his chest, constricting his airways. It’s a feeling he’s grown quite familiar with ever since Aether announced that he was leaving. Strangely enough, the pain has grown to be comforting ever since then.

“I know,” Venti sighs, sounding sad for the first time ever since Xiao met him. “You have changed so much because of him. I’m happy to see it.”

“Can we please change the conversation topic?”

“No.” Venti stops pacing. “I need you to hear this.”

He steps closer, placing his hand on Xiao’s shoulder. For possibly the first time in Xiao’s life, he looks completely serious. The mask of Venti drops – this is Barbatos , calm and collected, speaking words that Xiao can’t think of himself because of his limited grasp on human emotions. He feels the urge to kneel in respect, but knows Venti wouldn’t want him to.

“You may not fall in love again, I don’t know that,” Venti says in a soft voice. “But I do know how much Aether means to you, and how much you mean to him.”

Xiao listens, unsure of where he is going. Venti’s hand on his shoulder has him frozen in place, glued to the floor with the power of Anemo. 

“In these next few days, stay with him,” Venti continues. “Cherish the love you have, even if you expect it to end badly – because love doesn’t have to change anything in order to matter. It just has to be .”

“But when he leaves -”

Venti interrupts him, “ If he leaves, you will continue to love him. But you take that love -” He grabs Xiao's left hand and presses it to his chest, right where his heart is. “- And you keep it safe, right here, until he returns, and you get to love him again.”

Xiao looks away to stop himself from tearing up. “I don’t know if he’ll return.”

“Well then.” Venti smiles in a way Xiao doesn’t like at all. “Why don’t you ask him?”

Xiao frowns. “Venti -” 

But before he can finish his sentence, Venti snaps his fingers with a giggle. A cloud of thick Anemo smoke surrounds them, bright and blinding to the eye. Xiao squints to protect himself. When he opens his eyes, Venti is gone. 

He curses under his breath, thinking of the dozens of ways he can scold Venti for this the next time they meet. He finds himself on the Wangshu Inn balcony, the sun beginning to set in the distance. 

A familiar figure is leaning against the railing. Long, blonde hair in a braid. Brown clothing. Aether is facing away from him, and Xiao steps back to try and sneak away quietly. 

A floorboard creaks. 

Xiao tenses as Aether makes eye contact with him, feeling like a deer caught in headlights. For a moment, the entire world seems to stop. No wind outside, no breaths, no blinking, nothing. The air feels heavy, thick, and unsettled.

Everything has to be different now, after what I’ve said , Xiao thinks. This feels like the end of everything. But then, Aether just smiles.

“Hey, Xiao.”

Xiao has to pinch his arm to convince himself that this is not fake. It stings a little, but not as much as it stings to see Aether here, standing before him with a sad expression and his shoulders low. In all honesty, he looks as if he’s just been through hell and back. His clothes are wrinkled, his hair is in knots and there are purple spots underneath his eyes that weren’t there before. It’s a visual representation of how Xiao feels, how Xiao has felt for the past week, and how Aether has felt for gods know how long. 

“Hey,” he softly says, his voice wobbly. Aether doesn’t seem mad like Xiao expected. He seems...scared, more than anything. They look at each other for a moment, Xiao unsure of what to do or say next. He feels paralyzed. 

“Are you okay?” Aether asks, and it’s as if that’s the switch that needed to be flipped within Xiao’s heart – he starts to speak, and once he starts, he can’t bring himself to stop. 

“I’m sorry,” he starts, “I should have told you about my feelings earlier, I shouldn’t have ruined your last Lantern Rite, I shouldn’t have asked you to stay for me. It was selfish, and I was only thinking about my own feelings, I never even considered how hard this has been for you. I assumed -”

“Xiao,” Aether says earnestly. Xiao stops, taking a deep breath. He feels naked, like he just ripped open his chest with his own two hands, split it down the middle. He’s never talked about himself and his feelings this much in his whole life. 

“I’m sorry,” he repeats. “I shouldn’t have ruined your last week in Teyvat.”

“It’s okay,” Aether replies. “You didn’t ruin anything.”

He hesitates for a moment. Xiao can practically see the gears running in his head.

“I have things to apologize for too,” Aether says beginning to pace. “Because I took what we had and I ruined it. I threw away the friendship we built up, because I kissed you. And then I abandoned you, after -” he pauses. His next words make everything painfully real. “After you said you have feelings for me.”

Xiao is silent in shock, feeling his heart splinter with every word Aether says.

“I’m sorry,” Aether continues, watching Xiao with a pained expression. “You deserved better.”

“I’m sorry too,” Xiao quietly says. “I have been selfish in my actions, I was not a good friend.”

There's a moment of silence – a heavy, painful, thick silence – before Aether speaks.

“I have been selfish too.”

“You haven’t -” Xiao starts, but Aether raises his hand to stop him. 

“I have been selfish,” he continues, breathing deeply, “because I never told you how I felt. Not once, in all those years. Even though I knew I needed to, I didn’t, because I was scared of losing you and I wanted to keep you all to myself.”

He smiles with watery eyes. “When I kissed you, I put pressure on you that I never should have. I’m sorry for that.”

Xiao feels tears building up behind his eyes. He clenches his jaw trying to hold them in. 

“You’re a great friend,” Aether continues. He takes a step in Xiao’s direction. “You have been nothing but loving towards me. You’ve made mistakes, but so have I - I shouldn’t have expected you to ask me to stay when I never told you I wanted to stay.”

Xiao feels a question heavy on his tongue – do you want to stay? but decides to let it go. There’s no point in asking now, when Aether has just laid his feelings bare for him to see, and Xiao still hasn’t spoken. 

Everything they haven’t discussed – their feelings, their future, their past – it’s all right here in front of him. Aether is apologizing for things Xiao never blamed him for. And he’s still here even though Xiao hasn’t spoken, looking expectant, waiting for an answer with all the patience in the universe. He’s gentle, he’s understanding but most of all he’s here , with Xiao, when he could have left years ago. 

“I don’t want us to end like this,” Aether says, an affectionate expression on his face that tells Xiao everything he needs to know. He steps closer once again, reaching for Xiao’s hands. “Is that okay?”

Everything inside him is screaming yes , yes, yes. He cannot bring himself to speak, struck with a breathless kind of speechlessness as he looks at Aether – his friend, his familiar, his sun and moon and all the stars. He’s completely, utterly in love. 

Xiao grabs Aether’s face and kisses him. His heart breaks into a million tiny pieces when he feels Aether reciprocate without hesitation, shaking in his arms. It is terrifyingly beautiful; to open himself up to this, knowing that it might all vanish but not caring anyway. A ghost of Venti’s words rings in his ears; why worry about the future, instead of being content with what you have, right now?

Because it’s better to experience everything and come out empty-handed than never to have experienced it at all. 

Xiao pulls away, wiping the tears that have escaped Aether’s eyes. “It’s okay, Aether.”

“I have to say it,” Aether softly says. “I haven’t yet – but I should -”

“You don’t have to do anything,” Xiao reassures him, feeling his emotions press thick against his vocal cords. “It’s okay. I know.”

“No, I want you to hear it,” Aether insists. “I love you. I love you, Xiao, and I don’t -”

He pauses, looking away to blink back tears. “I don’t know what to do.”

Xiao nods solemnly, pulling him into a hug. He sighs against Aether’s shoulder, holding back his chokey breathing as he tries to focus on his heartbeat to ground himself. 

“I don’t know what to do,” Aether repeats in a whisper. Xiao doesn’t answer – he doesn’t know either. He can hear Aether sobbing quietly, shaky breaths slicing through Xiao’s heart like a sharp-edged spear. He feels the tension within his shoulders dissipate as they hold each other, the full heaviness of the situation finally gaining the upper hand and collapsing in on them.

It is, in a strange way, relieving.

Chapter Text

“Of course you’re here! It’s not like I needed you a week ago or something,” Hu Tao mumbles, fishing a large rectangular object out of the adventurer’s bag in Aether’s hands. “Why did you even have this? Did I leave it here?”

The last questions are directed towards Aether, who just smiles and shrugs. Hu Tao finishes going through his stuff, then takes a step back. “I think that’s all. If you find anything else…”

“I’ll return it straight away,” Aether reassures her, zipping up his bag. She bids him goodbye with a hug and a smile.

Aether turns to Xiao, “Was that everyone on the list?”

Xiao takes a small piece of paper out of his pocket, scanning the names and scratching Hu Tao’s name out. “Yeah.”

“Alright then.” Aether shakes the bag. “I think that means we’re done.” 

He takes a moment to stare at the bag, running his fingers over pockets and zippers yet unknown to Xiao. He looks torn; as if he’s trying to make a decision his mind has barely caught onto. 

Finally, he holds out the bag for Xiao to take. It hangs in the air, suspended, waiting for Xiao to take it. 

“Check if there’s anything of yours,” Aether says. “Armor, weapons, anything like that.”

“You have got to tell me the secret dynamics of that bag someday,” Xiao mumbles, accepting the item. He zips it back open and reaches inside, feeling through the bottomless bag. His hands find a pair of keys, clothes, a warm package of food that chef Xiangling had given them earlier, a bottle of water, and finally, his teapot. Nothing that belongs to Xiao – which makes sense, considering he has very few belongings, and he doesn’t recall ever handing them over to Aether. 

His fingers brush across something soft, and he pauses. After a moment of hesitation, he takes it out. 

In his hands is the long-decayed form of a crystal core, shimmering weakly in the early morning light. He frowns, “What’s this?”

Aether looks up at him and freezes. “Um…”

Xiao turns it over in his hands, inspecting it closely. It looks to be at least several years old, if not decades. He wonders absentmindedly why Aether would keep this for so long. 

“It’s, uh…” Aether says, stepping closer and taking it from him. “It’s… the crystalfly you gave me on your birthday. The very first time we spent it together.”

“Oh.” Xiao can’t bring himself to say anything other than that, looking away with his face warming up. He had no idea Aether cherished the gift so much; of course, he had hoped for it, but that was all. He was never very good at gift-giving, so to hear that Aether kept this one for so long warmed his heart. 

“Does that come off as weird?” Aether asks, slightly tilting his head to the side. 

Xiao shakes his head, “Not at all. I was just surprised, is all.”

Aether smiles brightly at him. “In that case, why don’t we go back to Wangshu Inn? We still have to get ready.”

Xiao nods and Aether takes his hand, fingers slotting together perfectly. His hand is warm and firm in his own, pulling him forward just a tiny bit since Aether is always one step ahead of him. 

The past two days have been… strange. In the time that has passed since Aether visited his balcony, they haven’t discussed the status of their relationship once. They spent time together, they talked, they kissed and slept in the same bed, but never bothered to put a label on it. They aren’t anything – they just are. 

And they will continue to just be. They will coexist peacefully, navigating carefully through this new phase of their relationship, trying to figure out what will happen. Perhaps nothing will happen at all. They will just be. Together. Until their time is up.

He’d like to finish that thought with and that is okay, but that would be a lie. Because it wouldn’t be okay – it’d be life, and life isn’t always okay. After all, one can do everything right; create the perfect formula under the perfect circumstances, follow the exact steps with precision and gentleness, and it can still fail in the end. 

But, as Venti had reminded him, the outcome isn’t what matters. It’s the process, and what he learns from it. 

Perhaps, one day, he will truly believe in what he’s thinking. For now, all he can think of is that it sucks, and he wants to lock Aether in the basement they discovered on one of their first days so that he’ll never leave. Or maybe he can hide in Aether’s adventurer bag and come back out when he’s landed in the next world. 

“Come on,” Aether says, tugging on Xiao’s hand when he starts to fall behind. “I thought you were supposed to be the fastest of the adepti?”

Xiao rolls his eyes, knowing damn well why Aether is saying this with a smirk on his face. Still, he complies, because he would probably run off the surface of the earth if Aether asked him to.

(He’s considered it before, hoping against all hope that he could join Aether in his departure that way.)

He teleports them to Wangshu Inn, landing on his balcony. The sun has started to set in the far distance, bathing Aether in a golden glow. Said boy lets go of him and fishes a large mirror from his adventurer’s bag, checking his reflection. 

“Do I look okay for tonight?” he asks a little nervously, glancing back and forth between Xiao and the mirror. Xiao nods, not quite knowing how to tell Aether that he always looks good without sounding sappy. 

“Alright,” Aether says, fingers slowly tracing down Xiao’s arm to take his hand. “Shall we go, then? We don’t want to keep them waiting.”

Xiao nods again, relishing the feel of Aether’s hand in his. For the second time in minutes, he teleports them away, quietly landing on the outskirts of Liyue Harbor. No one notices them, somehow; all the citizens are wrapped up in their own lives, cleaning up the remains of the Lantern Rite decorations and talking to their friends. 

They walk to Liuli Pavilion together, hand in hand. A small part of him realizes that this is the first time he’s held hands with Aether in public. He would be scared, or embarrassed, but there are too many other emotions running through him that are much more powerful. There’s simply no room for it.

Zhongli awaits them outside Liuli Pavilion, hands folded together behind his back. Xiao hasn’t seen him since that fateful night after the Lantern Rite, and therefore has had no chance to tell Zhongli of the development in his and Aether’s relationship. Still, he doesn’t look surprised to see them together, so Xiao concludes either Venti or Aether told him. 

“Welcome,” Zhongli says, smiling calmly. “Everyone’s inside already. Have you had a good day?”

“Fine,” Aether answers for them, letting them be guided inside by Zhongli. Liuli Pavilion has been booked exclusively for them and Aether’s friends, so they can all share dinner together. Xiao initially didn’t like the idea of it, but once he figured out how much it meant for Aether, he begrudgingly agreed to go. He wonders if Aether can feel how clammy and shaky his hands are due to the crowd inside. He thinks he does, because Aether keeps tracing his thumb over Xiao’s hand, slow and steady. It’s reassuring in a way only Aether can be. 

Once inside, the sound of conversation gradually gets louder. Liuli Pavilion is rather small, so it only takes moments for Xiao to notice everyone Aether has invited. First, Lumine, at the head of the table, chatting to Paimon on her left. Venti besides Paimon with an empty seat next to him which Zhongli takes. Shenhe, looking slightly awkward in such company, trying to have a conversation with Ganyu and Keqing. Captain Beidou and Tianquan Ningguang, with Qiqi from Bubu Pharmacy between them. It’s a compilation of all the Liyue friends Aether has made throughout his journey, and he briefly wonders if Aether held a dinner like this in every nation. 

“Come in!” Lumine says as soon as she spots them, patting the empty seat to her right. There’s one more empty chair next to it, beside Captain Beidou, who looks awestruck to be in all the company she’s in. It’s the seat Aether chooses to take, seeing the anxiety of being so close to a mortal in Xiao’s eyes. 

The quiet hum of ongoing conversations slowly dies down when Aether takes a seat. Everyone’s attention turns to him, as if they’re waiting for him to say something. A speech, maybe. After all, he’s the reason they’re all here. 

Aether clears his throat, “I’m happy you’re all here. Thank you.”

They all expect him to say more; Xiao can see it in their curious expressions and slightly confused eyes, but Aether doesn’t say any more. Instead, he reaches for a plate of Almond Tofu in front of him, scooping it onto Xiao’s plate. 

He’s smiling, but Xiao can tell something is off. Perhaps that’s why he didn’t say much. He finds Aether’s hand under the table and gives it a short squeeze. 

“Alright,” Lumine says, successfully diverting everyone’s attention from Aether. “Dig in then, I suppose.”

Aether’s friends all listen, returning to their food and previous conversation. It’s loud and overwhelming, but Xiao finds himself adjusting rather quickly. Precisely because their attention is on each other, he’s able to calm himself down, mentally distancing himself from the chatter. No one makes an effort to involve him in any conversations, so he digs into the Almond Tofu with a silver-plated spoon, enjoying the moment he gets to himself. 

“I hope you like it,” Aether says, looking at him from the side. “I asked Yanxiao to make it for you. Lumine sneaked it into the pavilion.”

“It’s good,” Xiao answers. “Almost as good as yours.”

“Oh.” Aether chuckles. “You flatter me.”

He takes hold of Xiao’s hand once again, playing with his fingers. It’s something he’s been doing quite a lot these days, almost as if it’s a habit. His touch feels so natural that Xiao can’t imagine not feeling it every day.

“Xiao -” Aether starts, seemingly unsure of what he wants to say. It fills Xiao with a sense of panic, not wanting to hear his words just yet. Especially not with all these people around.

Xiao stops him before he can say anything. “Can we do this later?”

Aether nods, understanding. “Okay.”

Xiao nods back. Part of him wants to look away, to focus his attention on his food or Aether’s friends or literally anything else, but he’s unable to do so. Aether holds his gaze intensely, breathing more quickly than usual. He can’t quite tell whether it’s anxiety or excitement that causes him to behave this way. 

“Excuse me,” comes a voice from the opposite side of the table, effectively snapping the tension between them. Zhongli is leaning over, looking apologetic to have disturbed the moment. “Could you pass me the salt, please?”

Xiao nods, swallowing thickly. He finds the salt shaker next to his plate and hands it to Zhongli, forcing himself to look at the table, and the table only. 

To his right, Aether does the same, and they don’t speak for the rest of the meal. 

Though Xiao appreciates all the effort Aether put into this dinner, he excuses himself from the table after a mere forty minutes. The pressure of mortals all around becomes too much, pressing in on him and taking his breath away. He hurries outside, turning one, two, three, and four corners until he finds a quiet spot in the harbor, overlooking the sea. There’s a waypoint to his left, and he fights the urge to use it.

Once outside, he feels himself calm down immediately, his heartbeat returning to its regular interval. Out here, in the slightly cold breeze, he feels much less claustrophobic. He appreciates Aether’s friends, really, but being in their presence for so long takes quite the toll on him. They’re overwhelmingly loud and cheerful, not to mention their combined body heat made Liuli Pavilion suffocatingly warm. 

A pair of footsteps approach. They’re not Aether’s; he hears the click-clack of heels, and senses a calm and collected aura he barely recognizes. When he turns, he sees Lumine, smiling at him. 

“You okay?” she asks, walking over to stand beside him. “Aether wanted to go after you, but Venti practically pinned him down to his chair.”

“Fine.” Xiao turns away. “Just needed some air.”

She hums, leaning on the wooden railing in front of them. Unlike Aether, she doesn’t look sad or serious at all. Does she really not have a worry in the world?

“You look like you’ve had a rough week,” she then says. “I heard from Aether how the Lantern Rite went down.”

Xiao frowns, feeling slightly embarrassed that she knows about him and Aether. Part of him had assumed that she knew, but he still feels uncomfortable, somehow. “My week has been fine.”

“Sure.” Lumine smiles, turning to the side to lean against the railing with her hip. “That’s why you look so grumpy and disappointed.”

“This conversation is going nowhere,” he says, scoffing. “I’m going back now.”

He turns to leave, but Lumine reaches out to stop him, an arm in front of his chest. He has the childish urge to walk around it, but stays for a reason he himself isn’t even aware of. Lumine seems happy with this, as she drops her arm. 

“Listen,” she says, and Xiao knows what she will say next will either hurt him or anger him. Unsurprisingly, it’s the latter. “You should talk to Aether about us leaving. He wants to hear about your feelings, you know.”

“I know,” Xiao says. He finds it very hard to contain the venom in his voice, which Lumine undoubtedly senses. “I know well enough.”

“Do you?” Lumine asks, tilting her head to the side in the same way Aether always does. “Because from what Aether told me, you’ve barely talked to him about your feelings.”

The statement angers him in a way he can’t quite comprehend, and he shoots her a glare. “Don’t pretend like you know me. We’re not friends.”

“True,” she says, turning back to watch the sea. “But I know how you feel, regardless.”

“You have no idea,” he hisses out. “You don’t -”

“I’ve had to say goodbye to someone too, you know.”

Xiao blinks. “What?”

He can’t see her face, but hears the smile in her voice when she continues, fond of whoever she's referring to. “There’s someone I loved. Love. And I had to leave, in the same way Aether has to leave you.”

He doesn’t have to leave, is Xiao’s first thought, but he doesn’t voice it. It’s irrelevant, and he knows Lumine will disagree.

“I know part of you probably blames me for Aether leaving. Which I understand.” She looks at him over her shoulder. “But ultimately, it was his choice to go.”

“His… choice,” Xiao repeats. “I see.”

He doesn’t know how to react to the news. Part of him feels disappointed, another part angry. Mostly, he just feels numb, as if nothing can surprise him anymore at this point. 

Aether’s choice. It was Aether’s choice to go. His decision. 

He understands, now, why Aether barely looked upset about leaving. 

Lumine’s gaze shifts from Xiao to a point above his shoulder, and her expression changes the slightest bit. Xiao turns on the spot to see where she’s looking. Aether’s approaching them, smiling softly. When he turns back, Lumine has already started walking back to Liuli Pavilion. She whispers something to Aether in passing, and it makes him chuckle. Xiao doesn’t bother to hear what she said. 

“Hey,” Aether says when he’s close. He moves to stand next to Xiao, hands on the railing. “What were you two talking about?”

“You,” Xiao answers truthfully.

“Oh?” Aether smiles. “All good things, I hope.”

Xiao doesn’t know how to bring it up without sounding like a bitter and selfish person, so he just nods. “Yeah.”

Silence falls. Aether turns away, looking at the sea. In the darkness of the night, the stars glitter on the watery surface. Somehow, they reflect in Aether’s eyes as well. 

Xiao can’t help but look differently at him now. How come Aether of all people, decided he wanted to leave? Did he have no business here? Did he feel unwanted, or unnecessary? Was he truly unaware of how many people loved him, and how many people wanted him to stay? And most of all, if he was the one who chose to leave, why did he want Xiao to ask him to stay? None of it made any sense to him. Aether never made any sense to him. Xiao wishes he could take a deep dive into his mind and figure out all his thoughts and feelings, just to get a satisfying answer. But he knows that’s impossible, and probably far too late. 

“I can’t believe the Lantern Rite was almost a week ago,” Aether suddenly says. “It feels like so much has changed since then.”

He smiles, and Xiao can see the sadness behind it. It’s quite unusual; only a few days ago, Aether never showed any emotion regarding his departure. To see him slightly more open and vulnerable is still a surprise, though he can’t tell whether or not it’s a pleasant one. 

“A lot has changed,” he confirms, nodding. Aether nods back, pulling at Xiao’s arm to press their sides together. Xiao lets him do it without hesitation. 

They watch the sea for a while, spectating the back-and-forth of the waves. Aether quietly tells him stories of other nations and worlds, voice barely more than a whisper. He sounds sad, nostalgic and excited all the same. It once again hits Xiao just how big his heart is, always loving every journey he goes on and every person he meets. He truly is extraordinary.

As Xiao listens to him speak, he comes to the conclusion that perhaps, Aether finally feels happy now. Despite the circumstances. Maybe because of the circumstances. 

“Why did you want me to ask you to stay?” he suddenly finds himself asking, when a quiet moment falls. It’s a question that has been in the back of his mind for a while, racking his brain. It still doesn’t make sense to him, even after all these days. 

“Huh?” Aether asks, seemingly distracted.

“Why did you want me to ask you to stay?” Xiao repeats. “At the Lantern Rite.”

“Oh.” Aether looks down for a moment, thinking. “That.”

He sighs, averting his eyes from Xiao’s gaze. “I guess… I thought you could convince me to stay.”

Somehow, this hurts more than anything he’s said all week. He thought Xiao could convince him to stay. And he didn’t – he clearly didn’t, because Aether had not said a single word about staying since their conversation on the balcony. In fact, it seems like in the past week, Aether has done everything to prepare for his departure. He emptied out his teapot and adventurer’s bag, stopped taking commissions, organized a goodbye dinner with his Liyue friends, even handed his sword over to Xiao because he said he’d no longer need it. Xiao had not been enough. His question, his pleas, his love had not been enough. 

He gulps. He thinks he knows the answer, but asks anyway. “And I didn’t?”

Surprisingly, Aether smiles. “No, you did.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Aether looks up to the sky, at the stars and constellations he claims to be so familiar with. “But I guess I realized that no matter how much I want something, I can’t always have it.”

Xiao has to blink away the sudden tears in his eyes. “I understand.”

“Hey,” Aether says, reaching for him. He turns Xiao around in his place, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him close so they’re touching noses. “Don’t cry. This is supposed to be a happy night.”

“I’m not going to cry,” Xiao says. It’s true; though he feels on the verge of tears, he would never spill them in public, and definitely not in Liyue Harbor. His emotions are reserved for Aether and Aether alone, hidden in private spaces like Wangshu Inn or his teapot. 

“Good.” Aether smiles. “Will you stay with me?”

 It shoots right through Xiao’s heart. He knows what Aether means; stay with me, just for the night, but part of him still hears it as come with me, wherever I go. 

“Yeah.” he nods, swallowing the lump in his throat. “I can stay.”

“Are you done with your duties for today?” Aether asks, pressing small kisses on his nose. They’re fleeting, soft as butterfly wings, much like Aether himself. Ephemeral. Transitory. 

He shakes his head. “My duties are never-ending. I’m just… on a break.”

Aether smiles, so brightly that Xiao has to look away. “I should’ve expected that answer.”

They stand in silence for a moment, simply looking at each other. Aether’s smile still rests on his face, and his thumb rubs circles on Xiao’s waist. Xiao tries to keep his composure, forcing a neutral expression on his face. His heart is racing for no reason at all. 

Aether breaks the silence, “Should we go back inside?”

He’s tilting his head to the side, looking sweet as ever, and Xiao can’t take it anymore. Can’t handle the rampage of emotions buried within his chest, can’t stay silent when there are words pressing against his teeth that feel sharp on his tongue. Words he’s been holding back for days, months, years even, and that’ll surely cut his insides if he keeps them in for any longer.

“I’m gonna miss you.”

Aether’s face falls. The statement is something Xiao could never bring himself to say before, utterly terrified of exposing himself emotionally. But right now, after the week they’ve been through, it feels like the only right thing to say, as if the world will collapse in on itself if he doesn’t tell Aether how he feels.

“Xiao-”

“I know you don’t want to hear it right now,” Xiao interrupts him. “But I have to say it. I will miss you. I… will wait for you.”

Aether watches him for a few moments, tears glistening in his eyes. The fact that he has given up on keeping a happy expression reminds Xiao of how much he’s put him through in the last week. It makes him feel guilty, deep within.

“I’m gonna miss you too,” Aether says softly. “But you knew that already.”

Xiao gives a weak smile. “Yeah.”

Aether looks to the side, breathing deeply. The light of the moon is much brighter today, illuminating half of his face. The golden sprinkles of light in his hair and skin make him look more like a star than ever before. “Can I tell you something?”

“Anything,” Xiao reassures him, taking his hand. Aether gives it a squeeze before speaking in a quiet whisper. 

“I’m scared, Xiao.”

Xiao blinks. Whatever he’d been expecting, it wasn’t this. “What?”

“I’m scared,” Aether repeats with a weak smile. “Teyvat isn’t my home. There’s no point in pretending it is. But still, there’s a part of me… a small, selfish part of me that longs to stay anyway. I don’t know what I’ll come back to when I return to the skies.”

Xiao feels his heart break into a million tiny little pieces. 

“Then why don’t you stay?”

Aether smiles, pressing a kiss to Xiao’s hand. “I can’t. The part that longs to stay…” he takes a breath before continuing. “It’s the same part that longs for my youth, back when Lumine used to braid my hair. When I was just discovering the full extent of my power. It’s the part that longs for the feeling of stepping into a new world for the very first time, and the part that wishes it could taste the fruits of my homeland once more. It’s… nostalgia, more than anything.”

He drops Xiao’s hand. “I doubted whether or not I should leave for a very long time. But much like you, I have a duty to fulfill – worlds to protect, lives to save, a sibling to follow. And unlike you, I haven’t fulfilled that duty yet.”

Xiao feels a tear slip past his eyelashes, even though he just said he wouldn’t cry. These are all things he already knew, but still, he feels a profound, inexplicable sadness. It’s all-consuming, gripping his throat and darkening his vision. 

“Weren’t you the one who told me I was your friend first, adeptus second? Why can’t you be Aether first… celestial traveler second?”

“I wish that was how this worked,” Aether sighs. “I meant what I said about you. I wish for you to live your life as Xiao, not just the Vigilant Yaksha. The same doesn’t apply to me.”

“Maybe there will have come more celestial travelers in the time you’ve been here,” Xiao says, “and then you won’t have to leave.”

You won’t have to leave. It’s something Xiao has said in his mind countless times, repeating it over and over again in hopes of communicating it to Aether in some sort of telepathic way. You don’t have to leave. Please, don’t leave. 

“It’s okay,” Aether says, though they both know that it isn’t. “You don’t have to feel bad for me.”

“I feel bad for both of us,” Xiao admits in a whisper. “I don’t know how to -”

“Do this without me?” Aether finishes with a smile. It’s the exact thing Xiao had said at the harbor, and it’s surprising to hear Aether remembered such a detail. “Well… if I’m honest, I can’t really picture my life without you either.”

It’s enough to send Xiao toppling over the edge, overcome with pain. He takes in a sharp breath and turns away, furiously blinking back tears. He feels slightly embarrassed, still, whenever he feels his emotions this intensely. Especially in such a public place. He almost doesn’t recognize himself anymore. Guess that’s what love can do to a person. 

Something brushes his shoulder. He knows it’s Aether’s hand. “I’m sorry, Xiao.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” he insists, brushing Aether’s hand off. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“I know,” Aether says from behind him. “But I’m sorry for everything I haven’t done. And everything I’ll be unable to do when I leave.”

Xiao understands. He understands too well, so much that it tears him up from the inside. 

He thinks, selfishly, that his life would be much easier had Aether never showed up on his balcony.

~

“Alright, Zhongli told me to double-check everything with you. You have your extra clothes?” 

“Yes.”

“Where?”

“In my bag.”

“Good. Sword?”

“Also in my bag.”

“Paimon?”

“Next to you.”

“True.”

Xiao glances to the side; Paimon is, indeed, right next to him, clutching a heap of tissues and sobbing indignantly. He clears his throat, and goes back to reciting the list in his head.

“Do you have your -”

“Xiao.” Aether stops him. “I have everything.”

“... Okay.”

He falls silent, staring at Aether. They’re standing on a mountain peak in Jueyun Karst, accompanied by only Lumine and Aether. Lumine’s standing in the far distance, having chosen to give them privacy for this moment. Paimon hasn’t said a word, a steady stream of tears falling down her face. 

Everyone he knows has been giving him advice on how to handle this goodbye. Venti told him to leave room in his heart for someone else, so he could open up once more. He also told him to force Aether to stay, preferably while using violence. Ganyu told him to focus on his future. Zhongli told him to focus on one day at a time. They all had the best intentions, but none of them were really helpful. Who knows how he was actually going to handle it. Xiao certainly didn’t know.

Lumine has opened up a portal in the distance. Xiao feels the insistent urge to jump through, hoping that he can come along with Aether that way. 

“Well,” Aether says. Xiao can see how much he’s struggling not to cry; his eyes are wet and his gaze avoidant, and he’s bouncing back and forth on his feet. He lets out a weak laugh, “I guess this is it.”

“I guess so.” Xiao’s voice comes out as nothing more than a whisper, mostly because he’s afraid it’ll break if he speaks any louder. 

Beside him, Paimon lets out an exceptionally loud sob. “Paimon will miss you.”

“I know,” Aether says. “I will miss you too.”

Another beat of silence. Xiao figures it’s supposed to be uncomfortable, but he doesn’t really feel it anymore. The heaviness of the situation has become a strange comfort, somehow. 

Aether steps forward, pulling Paimon into a short hug. He doesn’t let go for at least ten seconds, the small fairy actually shaking with sadness. When he finally pulls away, his face is wet with tears. Xiao can’t tell whether they’re Paimon’s or his own. 

“Paimon just wants to say…” Paimon says, through hiccups, “That it was an honor to be your guide.”

“I won’t forget you,” Aether says, placing a hand over his heart. “I could never.”

He turns to Xiao. Paimon falls back, turning away from them. Perhaps to give them some privacy – perhaps because she can’t handle it anymore. 

He doesn’t speak, for a while. Neither does Xiao. After all this time, he should probably have prepared a speech or something, but nothing sounds right to him. There aren’t any words to explain himself, or how he feels. Most of all, he just wants to hold Aether and never let him go. 

Aether laughs bitterly. “This sucks.”

“Yeah.” Xiao bites his lip. “It does.”

Truthfully, Xiao has been expecting something large, and terrifying; something equivalent to the pain in all the romance stories Aether has introduced him to in the past few years. But it’s not that dramatic. This isn’t the grand emotional climax of a book, where the two characters tearfully part with the promise of reuniting soon. There’s no shadow chasing them, ready to consume them both. Nothing is ever as dramatic as that. It’s just life. It feels rushed, and fleeting, and the realization that life will simply keep going helps him, unexpectedly.

Aether perks up suddenly, taking his adventurer’s bag and rummaging through it. “I almost forgot. I have something for you.”

He fishes out a small object, unfamiliar in shape. Upon closer inspection, it appears to be a clock, with strange numbers, characters and hands inside. Xiao takes it hesitantly, studying the golden craftsmanship. How is he supposed to read the time on this?

“It’s a clock from my homeland,” Aether explains, zipping his bag back up. “So you’ll always know what time it is where I am.”

“It moves slowly,” Xiao states. “I don’t think I can read it.”

“Well, yeah.” Aether shrugs. “Time moves differently in Teyvat. I haven’t figured out how, exactly, but perhaps you can find out this way.”

“Thank you.” Xiao pockets it, feeling his hands shake. Why is he nervous now? It’s not like he’s unprepared for the situation. 

“Maybe…” Aether says, eyes following Xiao’s hands as he carefully stuffs the clock away. “Maybe, thousands of years outside of this world equal only a few days in Teyvat. That way, you won’t have to wait very long.”

It’s an empty statement, yet it stirs up a whirlwind of emotions within Xiao. His words feel like a shock to his brain, relentless electricity that’s painful in the best way possible. He thinks he might be on fire. Aether always makes him feel like he’s burning inside.

“I hope so,” Xiao whispers, selfishly. “Does that mean you’ll be back?”

“I don’t know.” Aether smiles, tears in his eyes. “I’m not going to pretend I know how any of this is going to work out… but I know you, and I know me, and this just… doesn’t feel like the end.”

Xiao looks away. “How can this not feel like the end?”

“I don’t know,” Aether admits, taking his hand and squeezing it. “It just doesn’t.”

Xiao sincerely hopes it’s not an empty promise. But even if it is, it’s strangely comforting, a small bit of relief from the emotional pain he’s been in for two weeks now. 

Two weeks. It feels like it has been much longer than that. 

Xiao looks at Aether, and steps closer. Somehow, they both decide that it’s time to share their last kiss, right there and then. It’s unlike any kiss they’ve had before – they’ve always been full of desperation and pain, considering the timing, but this is much, much worse. It’s painful, it’s messy, it’s pleading and short-lived, because Aether pulls away with a sob, and they all but collapse into each other’s arms. Xiao tries to hold them steady, arms trembling around Aether. It’s the saddest embrace that Xiao has ever known, and likely will ever know.

They pull away after what was likely only a minute but feels like an eternity, even to an immortal.

“Okay,” Xiao says, somehow composing himself despite everything. He squeezes Aether’s hand. “Go through that portal before I personally pin you to this earth.”

Aether laughs, breath warm on Xiao’s face. “Okay.”

He steps away, wiping the tears from his face. Surprisingly, Xiao himself hasn’t shed a single one. He supposes it’ll come at some point in the next few days, crashing in on him as his emotions usually do. It’s easier that way, somehow. 

“I love you,” Aether says, the sound of it comforting yet heartbreaking at the same time. “I love you, and I will love you.”

I will love you. A promise yet to be broken. Xiao can’t put into words just how much it hurts to hear those words. He doesn’t know what they mean, and he knows Aether doesn’t, either. But somehow he still knows that they aren’t empty words. They hold some meaning, some truth. They'll figure out what it is, eventually.

“I love you too,” he chokes out, feeling his face burn. Somehow, he realizes this is the first time he’s ever admitted it out loud. But he knows Aether knows, and has known for days. Maybe longer. “And I will.”

Aether laughs through his teary eyes, shaking his head. He sneaks in a quick kiss to Xiao’ forehead before turning and running towards Lumine, making a point not to look back. Xiao understands. He would have done the same thing.

He waits, and waits, and waits until Lumine steps through the portal. A flash, and then she’s gone, onto her next adventure. Aether hesitates for a moment, fiddling with his clothes. But then he looks up to the sky, takes a deep breath, and on his exhale, he steps through. 

Xiao watches him go. The flash is almost blinding, but not enough for him to break his stare. Slowly but surely, the portal dissipates, almost as if Aether was never here in the first place. He waits until the portal is fully out of sight before he turns to Paimon. Part of him wants to stay and watch the stars in the night sky gain two more companions, but he knows that'll only hurt him more. He's not ready for that yet.

Paimon's crying, but more softly now. Xiao kindly reaches down to replace her tissue with a new one. She smiles at him. It might be the first time she’s ever smiled at him. 

“Paimon doesn’t know where to go,” she softly says, voice hoarse due to the crying. “Are you going to Wangshu Inn?”

Wangshu Inn. The place where this all started. The place he’ll probably come back to much more often now, like he did before everything. 

“Yeah,” he says. “You can come with me, if you’d like. If I’m away for my duties, you can stay with Verr Goldet. Or maybe Zhongli.”

She nods, looking lost and confused. It’s strange to see her without her other half. 

“Let’s go,” he says, taking her small hand into his. “Be careful not to get dizzy.”

He teleports before she can answer, ending up on the familiar balcony. Paimon shoots inside immediately, probably rushing down to find comfort in the kind arms of Verr Goldet. She’s much better at taking care of Paimon than he is, anyway. Perhaps he’ll ask her to give him some pointers. After all, he can’t leave Paimon on her own, now, can he?

Maybe he'll start traveling through Liyue. He remembers Zhongli’s words - you are free, if you wish to be. Paimon can be his guide, if he lets her. She must be quite experienced by now.

Xiao walks over to the railing, feeling the evening breeze on his skin. Something catches his eye – two small bright dots, almost star-like, twirling around each other against the late afternoon sky. They bring a sense of familiarity into his heart, and he continues watching them for a while. Slowly but surely, they grow smaller and smaller, dancing around clouds and the golden hues of the sky, until they vanish into nothingness. 

In the far distance, he can see the horizon turning a beautiful golden-orange color. He smiles to no one in particular. 

After a long day, the sun is about to set.