Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Central Toad Town shouldn’t take seven minutes to get to, let alone ten. Maybe if I’d been walking, but this was on a dang bus. To maintain some sanity on this crowded vehicle, my time was spent reading articles on my phone.

At least I had quite the comfy setup in the back of the bus. Since this seat spanned the whole width, my legs took full advantage of that. I even kicked my shoes off to give my feet some fresh air. After walking miles to the bus stop in stockings, they were in desperate need of that.

Huh? I pulled my phone down, and there was some kid staring me down. Just a few inches or so from my feet.

You bet I was freaked out. But I had better things to do than escalate things with a child. Plus, staring wasn’t exactly an arrestable offence. So, I gave him a smile and returned to my phone.

This article bombarded me with info on how to make my feet stop stinking, at least for a while. My younger form would’ve appreciated this knowledge back then. And in this new profession, whatever it may be, the last thing I needed was mockery from a royal. Especially over something as preventable as stinky feet. Well, easily preventable if your name doesn’t start with “T” and end with “ette”.

Jotting mental notes, I spread my toes out. Um… I didn’t do that on my own. I dropped my phone, and the sight before me left me paralysed.

The tan-skinned Toad shoved his grubby tongue into my toes, licking them. Oh my gosh! No, no, stop!

Slamming myself against the sidewall of the bus, I shoved my stockinged feet back into my flats. Clearly, they were a safer place for them. Calm down, Toadette. Breathe. Ugh, what sick kid licks a girl’s feet like that? Out of nowhere. Licking a stranger in any context is creepy, but especially feet.

A lady next to the boy grabbed him by the wrist, then slapped him.

“I am so sorry for that,” she said to me.

A loud ding then played over the bus’ speaker, followed by a message. “We’ve arrived at the western entrance of central Toad Town.”

Whoo-hoo, my ride was coming to an end. I let out a nervous chuckle, picking up my suitcase.

“It’s okay, ma’am. Maybe I just taste good today.”

Finally away from that creepy boy, my stocking was still coated in his awful saliva. No, I wasn’t going to the castle this unclean. Looking perfect was the only option I had. As I looked around at the various shops, I realised none would prove helpful. Most of these central stores didn’t sell cleansers or anything of the sort. Well, one exception stood. The flower shop.

In a full sprint, those wooden doors nearly flew off the hinges. But after smacking chest-first into the counter, yeah, that thing was far sturdier.

Minh T., the shop owner, slapped her heel against her flip-flop. “Hi-ya, Toadette.”

“Can you get me some wipes?”

She hopped off the counter and picked up a box of disinfectants. “You okay?”

“Try having some chubby kid lick your feet on a bus.” I kicked off my right flat and peeled my stocking off, setting the fabric on the counter. My arm almost fell off with the intensity at which I scrubbed. Perhaps this is what I deserved for foolishly removing my footwear on a public bus.

Minh held my stocking down. “Hehe, that’s funny. I don’t think being licked would be the worst thing ever, though.”

“My feet, Minh. That’s disgusting no matter how you wanna interpret it.”

With my stocking as cleaned as it could get, I lifted my leg over the counter. My toes curled in anticipation for the wipe that would give them a deeper washing. Minh kept her eyes on my toes. Hmm, she must’ve been checking out my nail polish. Whereas hers were normally painted 24/7, mine went back and forth between being naked and glamorous. It all depended on if I had the energy to give myself a pedicure.

“I can wipe it for you if you want,” she said.

“You mean my foot?” I shook my head. “Thanks, but no thanks. You know the rule: no one touches my feet but me.”

The tops of the digits had been polished, so now it was time to get between those tight areas. I tugged both ends of the wipe and flossed between each of my blushing toes. Good thing she had a bunch of them, as I’d used nearly twenty. All just to serve as some toe-flossers.

“Hey, could you wipe my shoes off? No telling what he did to those, either.”

I kicked my left flat a distance away to sit alongside its twin. Not missing a beat, Minh grabbed some wipes with a smile and rushed behind me.

Washing my toes like this was the last thing I wanted to do before meeting Her Highness. But as long as I got there within 40 minutes, all would be well. Who knows? If my shoes slip off, Her Highness might be impressed with how perfect my feet will smell and look.

Voila! My foot and stocking were both ready to go. I turned around, ready to join Minh in scrubbing my shoes. And my jaw hit the floor.

The pink-spotted Toad was on all floors, kissing the tips of one of my flats! Her nose went deep in the opening of the shoe, too!

“What the hell are you doing!?”

Busted! She sprung up immediately, red in the face and fidgeting like a Fuzzy. “I was just making sure they’re clean.”

“You were kissing them!”

“Nuh-uh.”

I put my hands on my hips. “I’m blind all of a sudden?”

Rubbing her fingers together, she tried to wait me out for several seconds. As if I’d magically forget she had her lips on my shoe. Eventually, I started to tap my foot. I didn’t have time to wait around for a lying response. I had a princess to see.

“I never thought this was gonna happen,” she sighed.

“Never thought what was gonna happen?”

“I… Can you promise to keep what I’m about to say between us?”

My default response was a nod. If I didn’t, you know she wouldn’t say a peep.

The girl got chest-to-chest with me, then whispered, “I have a foot fetish.”

All I could do was cock my head. “What?”

“Fetish. I like feet, okay? Just laugh so we can get this over with.”

She backed up, wiping her hair. I’d seen her nervous plenty of times—too many times to count—but not to where she’d be walking in circles like she was having a manic episode. How was I supposed to react to a disgusting confession like that? It wasn’t funny. It was entirely nasty. Feet!? She liked feet!? That’s not just dipping your toes into mental illness. That’s a whole plunge into the vast ocean of mental disabilities.

Cringing at the revelation, I tried to get her to talk a bit more. “So, what have you been doing to my shoes in the past? Wait, no! My feet! Have you been kissing my feet!? Minh, that’s sick!”

“Nothing, I swear! Unless I had to touch them, like maybe some exercises, I only looked! I wish I touched them…”

“That is creepy.”

Stomping, she cried out, “Okay, I confess! I sniffed your dirty P.E. socks back in middle school, Toadette! But I haven’t done anything like that since eighth grade. You believe me, right?”

“I—”

“Even then,” she continued, “you’re usually wearing closed-toed stuff anyway. It’s rare when I see your feet outside of you spending a night barefoot.”

Now Minh was in sniffling mode. And we know what comes after sniffing. Unfortunately for her, I couldn’t play therapist today. A real shame since she needed a cure for this sickness.

I put my stocking back on. “Foot freak or not, I’m not de-friending you or anything, so quit the waterworks. Just don’t interact with my feet, got it? That’s all.”

She nodded. “But maybe sometime—”

“No means no.”

She sat back on the counter, slowly dangling her worn-out flip-flops. The fact that her feet and shoes were always so dirty told me everything I needed to know about her little foot thing. Jeez, it’s like she wanted me to puke with this information overload.

“You’re not gonna tell anyone, right?” She still couldn’t keep still, her fingers tapping loudly against the wood.

“I’m not on a mission to make you Toad Town’s laughingstock.” Before I went through the door, I looked back. “If I’m really tired and need some massage at this job, maybe I’ll think about you.”

Minh immediately turned into her typical cheery self, running to the door. Even though I put my hands up to stop her, she broke through my defences and smothered me with a tight hug. Emphasis on the word “tight”. Without warning, she gave me a kiss on the cheek as well. I immediately wiped it off, but she giggled in spite of that.

“Good luck, Toadette.”

Now all cleaned up, I just had to head north, and I’d be at the castle. I’m not ashamed to admit how nervous I was. Each step to the front entrance added additional weight to my shoulders.

Once inside, I showed a Toad my invitation letter, and he escorted me through a crowd of various castle goers. Even though that letter came with a map, navigating this massive structure would be a pain for any newcomer. Doors and stairwells took space in every hallway, making this place the biggest maze I’d ever traversed.

The Toad knocked on the door. Then he did it four times in succession. Through the wall, I could hear a muffled voice.

“You may enter.”

He pulled out a ring containing hundreds of keys and proceeded to unlock the door.

“Thank you.”

“If you wish, I’ll hold onto your suitcase.”

Well, I usually put up a fight when anyone takes my stuff. But considering I’d been lugging this thing around town all morning and afternoon, I welcomed the break. Once he walked off with my suitcase, I peeked through the door.

There she was, Princess Peach. I held my breath, strolling in the room with my hands in my pockets. My fingers twitched back and forth like crazy. And in my shoes, my toes mimicked the same action.

I’d yet to see Her Highness in person beforehand, and it showed. She made me look like an ant. Even sitting at a chair, her tall figure could intimidate any Toad. Still, I kept a bright smile on my face. She wasn’t going to see any weak side of me today.

“You’re the girl who wanted to be a cook here, yes?”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

Her Highness trilled her gloved finger across various papers scattered on the desk.

“I hate to disappoint you, but all those positions have been filled.”

I choked on my spit. If that were the message she wanted to relay to me, a simple letter would have sufficed.

She continued. “However, I do have an open position you’d qualify for. A recent position that only you would have.”

“I’ll do anything, Your Highness!”

Regardless of what the task was, this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity wasn’t going to slip out my fingers. I scooted my chair forward, putting my hands together on the desk.

Two distinct PLOP sounds came from under the desk, followed by Her Highness rolling her chair backwards. One by one, she placed her legs on the desk. And if her height had already put me to shame, the same could be said for her feet. Never from a human had I seen feet so large. But wait. What was she doing?

Her Highness snapped her fingers. “Open your mouth.”

“Wha!?”

Open my mouth for what? She couldn’t possibly be referring to licking the bottoms of her feet. Clean or not, feet are absolutely disgusting. Putrid!

“Could you please explain why, Your Highness?”

She put her hand to her mouth, laughing. “For years, I’ve had to walk around in various footwear. From the stylish yet uncomfortable high heels to the accessible but very loose flip-flops. And rarely have I had the pleasure of having them attended to.”

Her Highness pushed her feet further on the desk, wiggling her toes back and forth. “And with that pretty mouth of yours, your tongue could do wonders for my illustrious soles.”

Unbelievable. All the potentially available positions in the castle, and they stuck me at the very bottom of the totem pole. When will I ever catch a break in life?

But declining was not an option. It was this bottom-barrel job or back to the streets with me. So, I sat up straight, put on my big girl face and nodded.

“Understood, Your Highness.”

The closer my lips got to that massive foot, the more my body trembled. Time to bite to bullet and get it over with. I stuck my tongue out and took my first lick across Her Highness’s right heel.

Immediately after that lick, I smacked my lips. No, not to savour the flavour. But because it was so… yuck. While my brain fought not to process the exact taste, I went in for another quick lick. They only got quicker from there. With the faint heat that radiated from Her Highness’s feet, it became obvious that they were sweaty. Luckily, it wasn’t a major amount of sweat, but still abhorrent for my mouth.

“Hmm… You’re much rougher than I expected.”

Before I could respond, Her Highness wrapped her right leg around my neck and pulled me into her left foot. Four of her five toes penetrated my mouth halfway. If only you knew how badly I wanted to scream my head off. Her nasty toes went wherever they pleased. They yanked on my tongue, rubbed against my teeth, smacked against my gums, my poor mouth was getting violated in every way. And once the toes got just a little deeper than halfway, my eyes shot wide open. My gag reflex began to kick in!

After an agonising six seconds, Her Highness finally released her giant foot from my mouth. Her toes now sparkled with my saliva. I gasped for air as my own spit dribbled down my lips. I just wanted a clean shower.

“Your skills are quite abysmal, Toadette. But it’s not something more training can’t solve.”

She pushed forward a very long, yellow-tinted paper. At the bottom was a blank line.

“Sign here, and you’ll officially be my foot slave.”

I picked up a pen and hovered it above the line. Like it or not, a job was better than no job. And if I could climb these ranks to something better, that’d be great. My time here might be a living Hell, but let’s see how long it lasts. I signed my name onto the contract, to Her Highness’s pleasure.

“I’m going to enjoy you.”

She got out of her chair and placed her feet back inside her shoes. “Follow.”

As I followed Her Highness up many flights of stairs, she explained to me the basic idea of this foot slave position. In essence, my job would consist of serving Her Highness’s feet at all times, be it putting her shoes on, massaging them in public, scrubbing them while she bathes, and other embarrassing stuff. I still kept a smile on my face, hoping she didn’t see through my broken state.

In a hallway on one of the upper floors, Her Highness walked to one of the doors and unlocked it.

“Welcome to your room.”

Inside, the blue walls immediately caught my eye. Along the bottom of the walls were hillsides and clouds painted on. Oh, and there was a bed! A big bed! Yes, no more sleeping on a small air mattress! And then, to my right, there was a bathroom, so no sharing.

So caught up in everything, I almost missed Her Highness’s next comment.

“Tomorrow morning, you’re to see me at 7 AM. Don’t be late.”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

She threw me a key and exited the room. Instantly, I rushed into the bathroom and brushed my teeth. Thankfully, that Toad who took my suitcase had already set things up decently well. Maybe he knew I’d be in a rush to get the taste of foot out my mouth.

After washing my mouth out and having a nice, steamy shower, I curled up under the sheets of my new bed. This mattress was so firm... I immediately knocked out, not knowing what Her Highness would have in store for me tomorrow.

Chapter Text

5:50 AM. It was a full 70 minutes before Her Highness expected me to be in her bedroom. My professional attire would be reused for the second day in a row. But, hey, it wasn’t stinky or anything. Surely, Her Highness couldn’t tell the difference. A few brush strokes later, a bit of lotion, and I was ready to shine. What better way to make a first impression than by showing up early?

I knocked on the enormous, ruby door.

“Who is it?”

My throat needed some clearing before I could shout, “It’s Toadette, Your Highness!”

A few seconds of silence passed. Did she not hear me? Maybe I should’ve repeated what I said.

“Enter already.”

Never mind. I pulled the heavy door open, getting my first glimpse into Her Highness’s room. To say it was massive would be the understatement of the century. The bed’s mattress and frame combined were about 1.5 metres tall! I mean, I was only barely taller than that. If you looked up, you’d see just how high the ceiling scaled. Ridiculously impressive for a room on a higher floor of the castle. This was stuff I’d only see on a ground level in other buildings.

Her Highness was reading a book in bed, appearing to wear a light form of sleepwear. When I walked over to her side, sweat bullets were racing down my body. Being this close to such an important public figure was like a dream. Even with this odd job, I could consider myself lucky in that respect.

She raised an eyebrow, looking at the midsection of my body. Was it my muscles tensing up? My skinny posture?

“Your effort to look formal is cute, but you should calm yourself with the rigidity. You’re about to pop a blood vessel.”

Phew, what a relief. As the stiffness turned to casualness, Her Highness returned to her book.

“Today, I’m going to learn how well you can follow commands. Oh, and you’re to remove all your clothing.”

“M-my clothes!?”

What kind of sick nightmare was this becoming?

“Simple procedure. I have to see ALL my workers in their truest form at least once. But feel free to keep your glasses on. How else would you admire my heavenly feet?”

Simple procedure, huh? Now I felt like I was getting an invasive check-up at the doctor. My fingers struggled to grasp the edges of my shirt.

“Do I have to?”

Her Highness nodded, smiling like it was her birthday.

Off came each clothing article I had. Not only did I feel dirty, but the cold A/C was nothing less than unpleasant.

“My, my. What a forest you’ve got.”

She handed me what looked to be… Huh? A collar? And a leash? But, I was a Toad, not some Chain Chomp.

“Is there a problem, Toadette?”

I shook my head and scrambled to get the collar around my neck. Her Highness grabbed the dangling leash, making no attempt to cover up her amusement.

“Now, stand at the foot of my bed.”

My speed was no better than that of Whomp at this moment. It was like my brain was coaxing my body to delay the inevitable for as long as possible.

YANK!

The choking force on my neck flung me backwards towards Her Highness.

“Need I remind you that you are the one who chose to come here far earlier than scheduled? If I were in your position, I’d work harder to make sure that MY time isn’t wasted.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

Now I scampered to the foot of her bed, where her large feet awaited me. Her feet were indeed not as sweaty-looking as last time. Worked in my favour. So, the first move I made was rubbing her left foot. As soon as I got my thumbs between her toes—

YANK!!

It happened again! Except this time, I hit my face against the bed frame. Felt like running face-first into a wall of metal.

Her Highness sighed. “Don’t touch my feet until I allow you to do so. These don’t sound like complicated instructions to me.”

They weren’t complicated, just very weird. Seeing as I had apparently no orders at that moment, my only option was simply looking at Her Highness’s feet. At least it’d give me a better idea of what I would be up against today. As noted earlier, they lacked the sweat they’d been covered in yesterday. The immense scale of her feet was still something to behold, though. Seeing her on TV or in magazines, I guessed she always had petite, narrow feet. Sadly, reality wasn’t so merciful.

“A-AH!!”

Her Highness’s toes were pushing into one of my breasts. I leaned back, but her grip on the leash kept me right up close to her feet.

“Your breasts are so tiny, Toadette. I could smother them with both my feet if I desired.”

Come on, my boobs couldn’t be that small. They weren’t model quality, but I always found them to be passable. Her Highness eventually gave my poor boob some relief, setting her foot alongside the other one on the bed.

“Kiss my soles.”

I sighed, licking my lips to—

YANK!!!

“What’d I do wrong this time!?”

“I heard you sighing. And lower that tone, little girl.”

Damn, did she steal the hearing abilities of a Swooper? Whatever. Without any snide remarks from me, I dove straight into her feet with some kisses. You’d think I’d eaten something sour with how puckered my lips were. However, it helped to keep my tongue from brushing contact with the feet.

If there was one thing to compliment about Her Highness, it was that she took exceptional care of her feet. Not a bunion in sight, no unsightly imperfections, nothing out of the ordinary from regular feet. And you know, if this job solely consisted of kissing or giving foot rubs, it wouldn’t be too awful. Even if the bottoms of her feet got horribly dirty, I’d suck things up and continue kissing them for a paycheck.

“Now open that mouth like a good girl.”

Aw, I should’ve seen this coming a mile away. My tongue against the middle of her foot, leaving it sitting there for a while. This disgust would just have to be fought through if I wanted to make it to the end of the day. After my sluggish start, I began to lap her toes over and over.

“Oh, you’re a toe-girl, aren’t you?”

Her Highness pushed a couple of her toes into my mouth, pushing my head back and forth. Those squirming toes had a mission to invade every inch of me. Once they came back out, they glistened like diamonds against the bedroom’s lights.

Then, her toes re-entered my mouth with an even greater force. Three of her toes managed to fit in, but the last two stuck out.

“All five toes in there, let’s go, Toadette.”

Ugh, this was like having my mouth stretched for a dental exam. No matter how hard the princess yanked on that leash, those tiny toes couldn’t penetrate me at all. As the pressure of the leash rose, I stomped my foot on the carpet. My body was ready to explode.

Her Highness tugged so hard that I had to lean against her bed for support. My feet were barely clinging to the floor, and she kept me in this position for 20 painful seconds.

Finally, her toes slowly exited my mouth, wiggling. She then proceeded to wipe her foot against my cheek. Never had I felt so violated by a pair of feet.

“How unfortunate that you can’t bear more than three toes. Stretching that cute mouth of yours is definitely high on the priority list.”

If my mouth were to stretch any further, I’d have the most distorted face in Toad Town. Or even worse, the entire Mushroom Kingdom.

Her Highness tucked her feet under the covers before pulling me to her side. As the mighty woman undid my collar, her cold hands ran along my back.

“I’m willing to excuse your very lacklustre effort today if you guarantee you’ll impress me next time.”

If I wanted a roof over my head, I didn’t have much of a choice, did I?

Before she dismissed me, Her Highness told me to meet her in the garden at 12:00. Something about having a slightly different task for me. For two and a half hours, I’d have the freedom to do what I wished.

Redressed and walking through the halls, my pants began to vibrate. A phone call from Minh T.

“Hello?”

“So, how’d it go?”

I chuckled. “Oh, just great. I mean, I got hired.”

On the other end, there was an applause.

“Increíble. What are you?”

Damn, she wanted all the details. If I told her the truth, this maniac would bombard me with a dozen questions. But lying wouldn’t benefit me, either. I could pull a fast one in some scenarios, but lying about what job you have isn’t a piece of cake. Especially when said job is also your place of residence.

My lips almost kissed the phone’s mic when I said, “I’m Her Highness’s foot slave.”

My finger ended the call then and there. But don’t worry, Minh could send me her endless list of wonders later tonight. Right now, I needed some me-time.

Chapter Text

Break time came to a swift end when 11:58 struck. If I didn’t find where Her Highness was in this garden, there was no telling what punishment I’d get. And to my frustration, each path lined itself with hedges that rose at least two times my height. Eventually, everything started to look the same. Green leaves, beige sand, and a blue sky. The only things helping me were my shoeprints and the sun’s direction.

I took a left exit at a split path to find… a pool? Couldn’t say I was too surprised. This rich environment had everything I lacked as a kid. Gradually, the ground went from warm sand to a rough and sturdy cobblestone. On the opposite side of the pool lay Her Highness in a chair, with a towel over her face. And her feet sticking right out, ready to haunt me. Let’s just get this over with.

“Good afternoon, Your Highness.”

But wait, something was off. Everything about the princess was reduced in size. She looked like she was my height, if not slightly shorter. No, it couldn’t be. The heat was just getting to me.

“Good afternoon.”

Huh? That voice came from… behind.

I turned around, where Her Highness stood tall, leash and collar in hand. And when I twisted back, Her Highness was still lying in that chair. What the hell was going on!?

“Surely you didn’t think that was me with those tiny proportions.”

“Weirder stuff has happened in this kingdom, Your Highness.”

“True, but this is no odd occurrence.”

She swung the towel off the other person, slapping me in the face with it. Whoever this other woman was, she was the spitting image of Her Highness. The skin and hair colours were perfect matches. The only thing she lacked was a coating of lipstick. In her hands, she was playing on one of those video game thingies. Looked like a DS.

Her Highness stuck a hand over the person. “Meet Penelope. My daughter.”

“Daughter!?”

A deserved reaction to a very confusing event going on. These past hours had been full of surprises, but this here took the cake.

“Normally, I’d blame you for being ignorant, but you not knowing about her proves just how good of a mother I’ve been.”

“What do you mean?”

Her Highness grabbed my head, tightening the collar around my neck again. Next thing you know, she was going to have me drinking water out of a bowl.

“I’ve taken extensive measures to guarantee she gets little attention from the various Mushroom Kingdom media outlets. So she gets to live like a normal kid but with benefits. Amazing, is it not?”

Well, I’ll be damned. That’s a pretty good way of parenting. Probably the nicest thing I’ve seen from Her Highness in recent years. But if she was this girl’s mother, who was the daddy? Hmm… The girl bared zero resemblance to an icon like Luigi. Perhaps the true Super Mario? Then again, that’d be a vague link at best.

SPLASH!

Her Highness rose her head above the surface of the water, tugging on the leash. Unlike last time, the leash was now tied to a metal pole rather than commanded by her hand.

“Penelope has you under her control. Let’s see if you’re effective under easy mode.”

Easy mode, huh? The girl’s feet were a tad too dirty for me to call this easy. They weren’t as bad as Minh T.’s feet from yesterday but were no match for her mother’s clean soles from this morning. Given how much focus she had on that little device, maybe I wouldn’t have to do much at all.

“Rub my feet.”

My hopes went up in smokes as she uttered those words. Good news? I didn’t have to use my mouth. Bad news? Well, I’d never given a foot massage before. Hell, no one ever gave me one either. There was no better time to learn than now.

I held one of the kid’s feet and felt around it, getting my bearing. Similarly to her mother, the feel of her feet could not be discredited. Heh, it was like fluffing a very firm pillow. With my thumbs above the middle of her arches, I pushed in before releasing. Rinse and repeat four more times.

Then I stroked the tops of her feet. A laugh slipped out her mouth.

Ooh, was this bad or good? She wasn’t complaining, so maybe she liked the feeling.

“Do my feet smell good?”

Now the girl stared directly at me, head cocked to the side. All I could do was let out a nervous, “Yes, they smell good.”

“Try again. I didn’t feel or even hear you sniff anything.”

Damn it. She certainly had the same Swooper-like senses as her mom. Taking a deep sniff this time, her foot odour violated my nostrils.

“That’s more like it,” she sang, thrusting her foot further in my face.

Although her feet didn’t smell as rotten as I suspected, it wasn’t a pleasing odour. It was very neutral. Nothing pleasant like cherry blossom, but not as deadly as my feet on a good mile run.

Right, she asked me that question. I responded, “They smell nice.”

“Thanks. So keep sniffin’ at them.”

As I continued to smell the girl’s dusty feet, how much sweeter she was than Her Highness became apparent. The princess never told me “thank you”. Yet her daughter displayed more of the manners I expected the leader of our kingdom to have.

SLAM!

The girl closed her game device and had a wide grin. “Suck my toe!”

After seeing what lay between the kid’s toes, I was less than enthusiastic about plopping those things in my mouth. But orders were orders.

I slid her big toe into my mouth, where it sat like a log. My fingers crinkled in horror once my tastebuds detected a flavour. While Her Highness’s feet tasted a bit like chips this morning, these things tasted like sour chips with a dash of black liquorice. Are you ready to vomit yet?

One by one, the girl’s dirty toes entered and exited my mouth. While sucking on them, I could hear Her Highness approaching from behind.

Time to kick things into overdrive. Rather than just sucking these plumpy toes, I forced my tongue to slither between a couple of them. The salty sand was on a mission to make me gag. Once it felt like my tongue was licking a sticky part of her toes, I instantly spit the foot out. Spit dribbled out my lips, but the relief was worth it.

Out of the corner of my eye, two wet feet taunted me.

“So, what do you think of her?”

“Your daughter has… very interesting feet.”

Her Highness kicked me down and applied all her weight onto my exhausted body. One foot flattened my boobs, and the other tried to crush my vagina. This was as bad as being squished by two Thwomps. No matter how I fidgeted, the princess didn’t budge an inch. If anything, she just curled her toes into my skin.

“The question was for Penelope, not you, Toadette.”

Now the girl was standing over my head. One of her chubby feet had yet to crush me, but I waited for it.

“She did good. I saw no problems with her.”

“Oh?” Her Highness dug a foot deeper into my chest.

“Actually, you interrupted the best part, Mother. When she had her tongue licking my toes like that, it was so relaxing.”

“I can’t breathe!” I screamed.

Her Highness’s toes pinched my skin for another time before she stepped off me. In my coughing fit.

“Get used to Penelope, Toadette. You’ve got another big responsibility on your little hands.”

I jumped to my feet. “Excuse me?”

“I’d love to be in my daughter’s life 100% of the time, but duty calls. Therefore, you’ll be her guardian whenever I cannot be.”

I didn’t sign up for this! First, I became some weird foot slave, and now Her Highness made me this little girl’s protector. It’d been years since I interacted with a kid of any kind. Worst of all, there was no way she would raise my pay to compensate for this.

“Your pay will be appropriately increased, but don’t expect a large increase. Whenever Penelope’s outside the castle grounds, I need you to accompany her.”

Scratch that. It seemed I’d be making a few extra coins after all.

Her Highness slid her pink flip-flops on and held the kid at a distance as she wailed and whined.

“Mother, I’ve walked around Toad Town for so long! I don’t need her watching me! You can’t trust me with—”

“QUIET!”

The girl stiffened up like a soldier.

“If you weren’t losing all my money like crazy, we wouldn’t need Toadette monitoring you, right? Someone manages to steal from you every time you’re out and alone, so no, I don’t trust you.”

Her Highness’s daughter yelled and raised her game device in the air.

“Break it,” Her Highness snarled. “You won’t get a replacement any time soon.”

The princess undid my collar and retracted the leash. Meanwhile, her daughter stood in silence with a scrunched face.

“Get to know each other better, you two. When I want you, I’ll summon you, Toadette.”

Her Highness strolled into the gardens, leaving me alone with her daughter.

Chapter Text

“Why are you taking so long?” 

The girl stormed off while I was sliding my feet back into my flats. Jeez, was she in that much of a hurry to leave? When I finally caught up to her, something occurred to me.

“You’re not gonna put your shoes on?”

“Why? It’s not the first time I’ve gone out barefoot.”

Hearing that sent a chill up my spine. But forget about the bare feet. The kid’s exposed body disturbed me more than her getting a rock stuck in her foot.

“Can you change the swimsuit into something more… presentable?”

She rolled her eyes. “We’re not going out that long.”

While walking through the castle, the girl left a dirt trail behind. Whoever’s job was to clean the floor, I felt terrible for them. Rich kids could get away with anything.

“You never told me where we’re even going,” I mentioned.

“Playroom.”

That place was constructed by a devil hellbent on sucking out your coins. No rational person would go there. How did this kid even know about it?

“Why the Playroom— OW!”

This little brat kicked me right in the shin. “Wait until we’re out the castle.”

Once we left the castle grounds, the girl wiped her forehead. Then, she fell to the sidewalk below her, sticking a finger up. Something told me she needed an inhaler with all this huffing and puffing.

But in due time, she got up, taking one last look at the castle. “I always lose coins, huh? Well, I’m about to win me a bunch of them, and Mother’s not getting a single one.”

“Because wealthy people totally need more money.”

“I barely got money from Mother in the first place. And if she’s gonna limit my coins, I wanna earn some on my own.”

“Heh, good luck with that,” I chuckled. “They have a jumping game and a hammer game. And I know a little girl like you can’t earn more than a single coin without some strength.”

More importantly, she wouldn’t have a lot of time to play these games anyway. Up in the sky, the clouds were getting into position to block the sun. Grey clouds only meant one thing. Rain. And I wasn’t looking forward to getting my clothes ruined by some nasty rainwater.

The girl kept trying to scratch her sandy toes on my leg. For a royal, she sure didn’t understand cleanliness.

“You must’ve gone ages ago. Have you never seen the Tickle Attack game?”

I paused. “Tickle a-what now?”

“It’s been there for two years now. One person gets tied to a chair, and that chair’s bolted to a giant machine. The second person tickles the victim’s feet like a monster, and the laughter fills the meter. The more the meter rises…”

She did a backwards somersault. Kind of. That face-first landing looked like it hurt.

“The more money we make!” She wiped herself off, laughing. “You and me, Miss…”

“Toadette,” I corrected. “And what’s the deal with this? I’m supposed to be tickling you?”

The girl went motionless for a bit before shrugging. “Sure. My feet are pretty ticklish, so it shouldn’t stress you out too badly.”

Oh, if I were reaping some of the benefits from this, I’d tickle her to death.

As we got closer to the pipe that led to the Playroom, Her Highness’s daughter mentioned that we could earn a maximum of 950 coins. Half of 950 is 300, right? That’s a higher amount of cash than I’d have had in months! Ooh, I could start buying myself some new make-up or better-quality food.

“The time limit is 60 seconds,” the girl said as she climbed atop the green pipe. “Hope you can handle it.”

I dove in after her, cruising along the suction of the warp pipe. Dang, these things always sucked. Nothing scared me more than temporarily getting stuck in a tube as the suction pulled against my face. Luckily, this time, I plopped right on the other side. Mmm… The scent of cinnamon sent me down a nostalgia motorway. The hours I’d spent in this place were limitless. Its fuzzy orange and brown walls, years later, made me smile.

“Well, lookie here.”

That high, sing-songy voice was all too recognisable.

Minh!

With me playing babysitter today, she was the last person I wanted to see. And… Oh my gosh, even with her flip-flops on, her wiggling toes were still making me green in the face. How can someone get so much dirt encrusted onto their toes and under their nails if half their time is spent indoors?

I swatted her foot away from my face. “Didn’t expect you to be here.”

“Neither did I, Miss I-Swear-I-Won’t-Gamble-All-My-Coins-Away-Ever-Again.”

Four years later, she still wouldn’t let that incident slide. It wasn’t like it was her money I spent. Just a bit of her money.

“Well, get your facts straight because I’m not the one betting my coins today.”

“Is that true?”

My reply? Pointing to the yellow-haired midget that stood on her toes to talk to the Toad behind the counter. Minh’s head creaked towards the girl, then back to my smug face. Confused didn’t describe just how clueless she was.

“Toadette, did you make Her Highness into a kid again?”

“I’m about to blow your mind, but that’s her daughter.”

“WHAT?” Her sharp yell forced the lights to flicker, and the voice travelled through the room for twelve seconds.

I pinched her arm. “Don’t make it big news. I’m just as lost as you are, but I gotta watch her, okay?”

Minh put her feet up on the waiting bench, yawning and nodding. One thing I could say about her: she was a hard worker. Sometimes I’d be scared she’d work herself to death. My attempts to get her to rest a bit more had been in vain, but as of recent, I’d seen her taking more time off to heal her body.

“Wait a minute,” I snapped. “What are you doing here?”

“Just came from the Li’l Oink Farm. Managed to snag me a Super Mushroom snack. Then I saw it was about to shower out there, and well, I’m gonna hide in here.”

“What if it doesn’t stop pouring?”

She sighed. “I can sleep here. No biggie.”

The little girl ran up to tap my shoulder. “The Tickle Attack pipes are on their way, Miss Toadette.”

“Tickle attack?”

As if she snorted the largest batch of S’crow Dust, Minh rocketed out her seat and shook me back and forth. “Let me play! I wanna play!”

“Sorry,” I pushed her off me, “two people only.”

“Actually, ma’am, it supports THREE players. One in the chair. One on the right foot. One on the left foot. She can play.”

I glared at the Toad at the counter. I was looking forward to having at least 300 coins, not splitting it even further. Or 450 or whatever half of 950 was!

“It’s fine, Miss Toadette.” As she skipped to one of the blue pipes, the brat declared, “I’ll take 50% of our prize, and you and your girlfriend can take 25% each.”

What a rip-off! But a few hundred coins at max was better than nothing. And I refused to let Minh take half of those winnings. I went to the massive pipe only to be hit in the face by the kid.

“You go to the pipe next to this one. The one I’m on is for the chair.”

I followed those instructions, hoisting myself into the second pipe.

Oof. Did I land… in a chair? My legs were propped up on some kind of table. And as I checked my right, a Toad was tying me up with belts. Wait. What the hell was going on?

Minh dropped flat before me, with the girl already rubbing her hands.

My energy was at an all-time high. “You little demon! You told me YOU were being tickled!”

“I did consider that,” she smirked. “But it’d be way funnier to see you tickled, Miss Toadette.”

If I weren’t her proto-nanny right now, I’d have clawed her hair out.

“But don’t worry. My fingers are masters at wiggling.”

These heavy belts didn’t break one bit. No matter how hard I struggled, even lunging out, they restrained me to this giant contraption. Suddenly, my feet felt a breeze. In addition, the tops of my toes were now barely visible. My shoes!

Oh no…

As if things weren’t going downhill already, this was the reddest I’d ever seen Minh in a while. Her jaw dropped, and without haste, she got on her knees, giggling like a psycho.

“Question. We allowed to use our tongues in this game?”

The Toad nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”

She probably had an orgasm right there on the spot. “Sorry, Toadette,” she licked her lips. “I’ve waited years for this. I ain’t holdin’ anything back.”

Ew! She scrunched her nose against my toes and took a huge whiff. Gross, gross! She moaned out some Spanish gibberish before taking another sniff.

“So the rumours about you having naturally smelly feet were true after all!”

Her horniness was interrupted by the room’s lights reaching a high brightness. Then came a whirring sound. From the ceiling, half of a block encased itself right behind my feet.

My legs were prisoners, too?

“We start in ten seconds!”

Chapter Text

I sat in my chair as helpless as a Blargg in water. Anticipating the attack about to happen on my poor fit, my eyes shut tight. My hands, painted in sweat, clenched into fists. Finally, I bit my lip.

“Two, one, start!!”

Wacky music commenced, and the chair’s vibration kicked up by a few notches. At first, there was a flinch. Then, a quick shriek escaped my lips. The assault on Toadette’s feet had begun.

On my right foot, Her Highness’s daughter tickled away. Her fingers were like ten different Cape Feathers ganging up on me. And to my left, Minh licked the bottom of my foot. Ugh! Her wet tongue left a warm path of saliva on my defenceless foot. My fingers dug into my palms so intensely I swear I drew blood.

Make this torment end!

I took a peek with one eye and witnessed Minh using the tip of her tongue to lick. The pointedness of that muscle made this sensation even harder to contain. My grip was slipping! My toes began to wiggle back and forth. I didn’t want to scream. I didn’t want to give in. But my body was on the verge of exploding!

Reaching its limit, I sprung forward as far as I could against these belts, and my laughter flooded the room.

No, I gave up this early? My toes splayed as the girls bombarded them with endless tickles.

The heat filling up my head let me know just how badly I began to blush. Still laughing like a Boo, I tried to kick Her Highness’s daughter. The brat had my foot surrounded top and bottom. Back to Minh, the freak somehow fit four of my slimy toes in her mouth. Stop sucking on them, you weirdo! They’re not Lemon Candy!

As if my feet getting weaker was bad enough, my groin was tingling from this onslaught. In fact, from head to toe, I became more sensitive. When was this game gonna end?

That’s when the Toad in charge yelled, “30 seconds remaining, ladies!”

No. No! I had to last half a minute more?

“You don’t have to tell me twice!” Minh yelled, tightening her grip on my foot.

She stroked my toes while pecking my sole with a series of wet kisses. Out the corner of my eye, I caught Her Highness’s kid fall onto the floor. What was that about? I had no time to think as Minh’s kisses drove me into a dangerously intense laughing fit.

Tears streamed down my cheeks. Then I felt something colder and rougher rub against my right foot. I opened both eyes best I could, and the laughter obscured my disgust and horror. The kid was scraping her dirty, sandy foot against my sole.

“Stop!” I shouted before collapsing back into giggles.

How long could a girl go laughing before she passed out? Was I even gonna make it out of this alive? This chair’s vibration completely numbed my groin and butt. All in the world was mute aside from the jolting sensation on my feet.

Sniffling, I noticed that the tickling was no more. Yet my toes still scrunched and flexed as if it never ended.

Minh was panting for air as if she were the one who just got tickle tortured. But, her Highness’s daughter just clapped as the block holding me down retracted into the ceiling.

Between my sniffles, I kept on laughing. You would’ve thought I’d been gassed at the dentist’s office.

“Stupendous! You guys almost broke the meter! Your reward is 2,000 coins!”

Those words made this nightmarish experience worth it. 25% of 2,000 is… Wait. Half of 2,000 is 1,000. Half of 1,000 is 500.

“Whoo-hoo!” I huffed out, feeling light as the Toad undid my binds. “500 for me!”

Her Highness’s daughter had a grin so wide it took up most her face. “See? Was that so bad, now?”

At last, sweet freedom! That was the longest minute of my entire life. So dizzy was I that I tumbled into Minh’s arms.

“You taste amazing,” she said.

“Consider yourself lucky because that’s the only time you’ll ever have ‘em anywhere near your mouth.”

While I was delighted with our reward, the weather had to put a damper on our moods. The rain came down like a series of bullets, and we had no choice but to put up with it. Oh well. Hopefully, the castle has a good laundry service.

The girl, Penelope, led the way back to the castle. But so long as we headed north, we’d be there in under thirty minutes.

Minh removed her flip-flops, trekking these streets barefoot. Real smart, since now her feet were getting muddier than before. As if the castle staff needed more of a mess to clean up.

“It’s not even that late, and it’s been a long day,” I sighed, spitting out rainwater.

“I don’t even wanna cook nothin’. I just want someone to make me something quick so I can call it a night. Or evening.”

I smeared my glasses against my coat. “Sucks that Her Highness doesn’t allow guests in the castle. I’d have let you crash there.”

“Yes, she does.”

The girl was now walking backwards like this was normal. “You think we guard that place? I’ve seen Koopa Troopas walk in without questioning. If Mother says something, I’ll tell her you can stay.”

Minh squealed, stomping her feet in even more muck. “Excellent! I’ve nunca— never ever been in the castle before!”

Soaked from top to bottom, the three of us shivered as I grasped the front door. Once open, there stood Her Highness, tall and mighty.

No one had to tell me to get on my knees. “Your Highness!”

“Of course, Penelope drags you out the castle when she knew it was going to rain.”

She glared at her daughter before directing her attention to Minh. The royal poked her nose, rubbing her finger across her face.

“The gardening girl who runs the flower shop, yes?”

THUD!!

Minh hit the ground, mumbling, “She touched me…”

“Yes, Your Highness,” I nodded. “We’re… friends.”

“And here I was suspecting you were a loner,” she chuckled, dragging me inside. “Come, we need to discuss something important.”

A few steps in, Her Highness turned back to the kid. “You’d better bathe immediately, Penelope. And make sure you drag the Toad in.”

Massaging Her Highness’s big feet while being drenched wasn’t my idea of fun. She swept through a bunch of papers that were scattered across this large room.

“You know about the robbery in Sarasaland, right?”

“No, I’m not familiar with that place, Your Highness.”

She shoved her foot against my face. “Quick history lesson. Sarasaland is west to the Mushroom Kingdom. It’s a country with four separate kingdoms, but it’s not uncommon for one to call the entire place one kingdom. Some of Princess Daisy’s valuables have been stolen, and get this. Her so-called special units report that the thieves hail from our very own kingdom.”

“What does this have to do with me, Your Highness?”

SLAP!

My cheek stung. How weird is it that the most humiliating thing to happen to me so far was being slapped by some feet?

“The madwoman is coming tomorrow by plane. She’s requested assistance, and I don’t think you’ll disappoint her too much.”

“Huh?”

Her Highness gagged me with her toes, stabbing the roof of my mouth with her lengthy toenails. As spit dribbled out my mouth, she played with my tongue. Pinching it, slapping it, violating it, all the works.

“She says she wants to leave as much Sarasaland staff back as possible, so she’ll be coming with no other help. And despite your pathetic self, you’ve still got tougher skin than most Toads I’ve met. Consider it an honour.”

How bizarre. Not only would I be meeting a new princess, but I’d be helping her get some stolen good back. Should I stress how this was not part of the job description?

Smothering me with her foot, Her Highness added, “Besides, once you get a hint of how rancid her feet smell, perhaps you’ll appreciate being at mine way more.”

“Rancid?”

“Of course. Would you expect any different from a princess who plays football?”

After minutes of serving Her Highness’s feet, I came out the room more worried than when I’d entered it. Of all the stuff I tolerated to this point, I never had to deal with someone else’s stinky feet. What had I gotten myself into?

Chapter Text

Who would’ve guessed my life would come to this? Not only being hired to clean the feet of Her Highness, but also serving the feet of some foreign princess. Maybe I didn’t take all the best turns in life, but I didn’t deserve this treatment.

The only way to survive was by looking at the positives. After all, I was in a warm castle earning a buck. It beat fighting in alleys and wasting money on the inns.

“Hey, cutie.”

Dang, how long was I sitting on these stairs? A Toad wearing an oversized headlamp chewed loudly as he stuck his thick fingers in my face. It looked to be a half-eaten cookie in the shape of a Yoshi.

“Eat it already. You look starved,” he commented, pointing at my stomach.

Harsh, for sure. But the guy wasn’t wrong. My tongue quivered at the thought of his saliva being on this thing. However, the taste remained sweet.

Mmm… Vanilla on the outside yet soft and creamy on the inside.

The Toad pulled at my braids. “You’re the new girl, right?”

“Yes,” I huffed, tugging them back. Why were people so attracted to my braids?

“Neat. Then I caught you right before the princess deploys me.”

“And you are?”

He pushed up the stairs past me, lugging a heavy backpack.

“Her Highness’s daughter wants you in her room. Second floor, a pink door. If I survive our journey to Fahr Outpost, I’ll see you again, rookie.”

What a strange dude that was. Eh, it could’ve been worse. He could’ve been ugly and tried to chat me up. But whatever Her Highness’s daughter wanted better have been important. Was tickling me to the point of nearly pissing myself not enough fun for her?

Locating the brat’s room was an exercise in frustration. Each floor of this castle was as wide as two football fields combined. But with enough patience, I found the only pink door in a sea of blue ones.

KNOCK! KNOCK!

The door creaked open, and Her Highness’s daughter walked out with both arms folded. She had a pair of violet pyjamas draped over her body.

“About time. I felt like I was waiting for hours.”

“You probably were,” I mumbled.

Between the smell of strawberries and the bright pink walls, I couldn’t tell which overloaded my senses more. Avoiding the various objects on the floor was another exercise. Stickers, paintings and folded papers made up only half the clutter in this little girl’s room. Candy wrappers and clothes covered the second half.

Like a hyper acrobat, she hopped onto her bigger-than-needed bed. I was “greeted” by her forcing her feet in front of my face. Oh well, the best thing I could say was that they were spotless.

“You like experiments? I like experiments,” she giggled. “I wanna see you lick my feet until I’m sleeping.”

The quicker I handled this, the faster I’d be resting in my own bed.

Without resistance this time, I licked along the girl’s arch. No strong flavour came from her foot. Though, a bland taste was always better than a sickining one.

My tongue flapped around that area of the girl’s foot for a while. Eventually, she guided her big toe into my mouth.

“At least you’re not as crazy as your mom,” I tried to say while gargling on the rest of her toes.

The girl splayed her wet toes against my lips, clearly inviting me to lick between them. Without any dirt or an awful odour, my body began to tolerate this. Just a little bit.

She wiggled her toes. “Since you mentioned my mother, what’d she talk to you about?”

“Some Daisy lady coming tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow!?” The girl’s expression snapped from calm to panicked.

“Why’s that bad?” I asked, holding her foot in place as I continued to lick.

Sucking on her sole intermittently seemed to get her to breathe normally. The girl slumped against a pillow, eyes half-closed.

“It’s weird. She usually announces that a week early, but not a day.”

Hmm… I’d never seen this Princess Daisy woman physically. What if her feet were as tiny as this child? Wouldn’t that be something?

Or worse. If that lady’s feet were as gigantic as Her Highness’s, and they were as foul as she described, I’d be in for a new type of Hell.

“What’s she like?” I questioned. “Princess Daisy. Describe her for me.”

“Miss Daisy is awesome. For one thing, she LOVES me. I can’t think of a single time she’s ever not been nice. Now, when she’s with Mother, it’s a different story.”

Speaking of different, the girl flipped to the opposite position. Her soles faced the ceiling while her stomach cushioned her.

“Whenever they’re with each other, I can’t go a day without hearing them argue about something stupid.”

Ooh, a rift between friends? Interesting. Her Highness talked about Princess Daisy like she was a needy person. But this info wasn’t good enough for me. If Her Highness made some questionable comments about Toads, would the Sarasaland lady be kinder or an even bigger witch?

“So, where does that leave me?”

The girl yawned. “If you were human, she’d love you probably.”

She didn’t see my face, but I knew she could feel my frustration. I had to stop my nails from piercing into this girl’s delicate soles. Hell, my toes wanted to rip open my flats with the tension rising.

“S-Sorry, I didn’t mean it like—” The girl stammered like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

“No, thank you,” I said as I kissed her foot. “I need all the warnings I can get. What do you know about her feet?”

Thanks to this girl’s feet, my cheeks were covered in my own saliva. With patience, she handed me all the details her little mind knew. She claimed that Princess Daisy’s feet were almost as big as Her Highness’s, if not larger. More alarmingly, she confirmed that this princess’s feet could work up a powerful odour if in sneakers specifically. She described it as the scent “taking you by surprise”.

“At least yours don’t stink,” I sighed.

“Catch me after I’ve been running all day, and you’ll… you’ll see…”

My tongue reaching her heel and lowering back to her scrunched toes signified the end of this foot licking. The girl purred like a kitty before soft breathing filled the warm room.

“Thanks for the info, kid.” I kissed both of her soles before covering them up.

When I got to the door, Penelope muttered one more thing out. “Compliment Miss Daisy a bunch, and she might go easy…”

In the shower, I practised the handful of compliments to throw this princess’s way.

“Hey, Princess. Your feet may smell like Stinky Herbs, but— That’s gonna get me killed.”

While the warm water soaked my sore soles, I brainstormed two ideas for managing the princess’s stinky feet. Plan A: I could hold my breath. All those years of diving underwater would finally pay off. Or flip the coin, and we get Plan B: I could breathe through my mouth the whole time. A bit harder, but not impossible.

“You’ve got this Toadette,” I said aloud.

Out of the shower with a white T-shirt and panties, I made an immediate beeline for my bed. There lay Minh, conked out and in a spare pair of clothes I owned. If she hadn’t showered, she would’ve been sleeping on the carpeted floor like an animal.

The thing about Minh was that she did not sleep like an average person. Rather than having her head on the pillow side, she almost always grabbed two pillows and brought them to the other end. So, she was sleeping where my feet would go.

Likewise, I had to sleep with her feet in front of my face, on my pillows. Yes, I tried moving her. It was like attempting to move a Thwomp.

“Thanks a whole lot, friend,” I groaned before removing my glasses.

Yet, her feet were so distinct from any casual day. There was no grime, a fresh smell of soap, and they were a bit softer visually. With this princess arriving so unexpectedly, I needed all the practice I could get.

“I’m gonna regret this.”

Shrugging off the guilt, I wrapped my lips around Minh’s smallest toes. Slowly but surely, I sucked on my best friend. And just like Her Highness’s daughter, Minh’s feet had no flavour. Perfect.

The sides of her feet were next in line. The texture separating the sole and normal skin was difficult to put in words. Picture a smooth service with occasional rough parts. I got to work on her cold soles for a few extra seconds before my body dropped dead. Clearly, my brain wanted me to rest.

I’ve had enough experiences in the past like this. It’s better to get rest versus fighting to stay awake in these situations. So I cast the room in darkness and conked out to the rhythm of the soothing raindrops.

Chapter Text

Opening the curtains, the pleasant pink hue of the sky sent such a sense of relief in my body. Not one grey cloud was set to damper the mood, either. This was the happiness I needed before the grand arrival of Princess Daisy.

“The only time you worship my feet, and it’s when I’m friggin’ sleeping,” Minh moaned. Her brown hair was a frizzy mess.

“Oh, you felt that?”

“I ain’t stupid. I gotta say, your toe sucking’s pretty good. But it’s better to kiss ’em before sucking, as a little warm-up.”

“Yeah, I’m totally taking that advice.”

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

At the door stood Her Highness’s daughter, Penelope. Looking a bit more presentable today, she was. She had a white shirt and a black skirt instead of the skimpy swimsuit.

“Good morning, Miss…”

A look of horror overtook the girl’s face.

“Morning. What’s wrong?”

Her hand pointed straight at my crotch. Damn, I forgot I only wore panties and a loose shirt to sleep!

In haste, I slammed the door and leapt to the closet. What to wear today? Scrolling through my small assortment of clothes, I stopped at another set of my professional attire. Perhaps it would become my daily uniform.

Now I beamed a smile at the girl, showing off my clean aesthetic.

“You can wear something less fancy, you know.”

SLAM!

Back to the closet, I went. One minute later, I emerged sporting a pink shirt, black shorts, fuzzy white ankle socks and hot-pink sneakers. No vest-coat, no flats, just a casual look.

I flung the door so hard that it struck me in the face. Little Penelope snickered.

“Much better. Princess Daisy will be here in a few minutes.”

“A few minutes?” I shouted. “Why didn’t anyone tell me ahead of time?”

“Welp, now you know how I felt last night.” And away she went.

I waltzed in the bathroom, where Minh brushed her teeth. My glasses just needed a little polishing.

“So, are you coming to meet this princess with me or not?”

“I’d love to,” she spat. “But I gotta work too, ya know.”

“Whatever,” I chuckled. “Get back to your shop before your flowers wilt of loneliness.”

As I climbed the endless flight of stairs, my heart rate accelerated. The anticipation of meeting a new royal was only one cause of that. The additional factor was the vibration travelling down the stairwell. The closer I got to the uppermost level, the stronger the rumbling became. Finally, I stopped at the only door at the end.

“Don’t screw this up. Don’t screw this up. Don’t screw this up.”

Once outside, I was met with gusts of warm wind. If you opened your mouth up here, it’d dry your tongue out. Away, I heard a loud buzzing noise along with various bits of chatter.

I pulled my shirt over my head just to be able to walk in this heat. A few steps forward, and I felt something soft.

SLAP!

My shirt came down, and my hand stung like hell. In front of me was a Toad. Scratch that. There was a mass of Toads spanning from one corner of the castle to the other. And within this mass, I was the only one not on my knees.

Someone yanked me to the floor. “Show some respect.”

Over the sea of Toads was a large, yellow aeroplane. Two Toads stood by the rear door. Given space in the middle of the crowd, all to herself was Her Highness.

While the thick door opened, a set of orange stairs rolled out. Yet what truly caught my eye was the thick smoke that poured from the insides of the plane. It looked like a fire had gone off mixed with some fireworks. At first, it was pink, like cotton candy. Then it transitioned into a berry-ish red.

Suddenly, all the Toads lowered their heads. Confused, I whispered, “What’s the big deal?”

KABOOM!!!

My throat was strained, yelling to the max, but I heard nothing. All that accompanied the silent scream was an intense white and red flash. Holding my hands over my eyes, I briefly lowered one to see what happened.

Glowing pieces of paper rained onto us all. As if nothing happened, the other Toads jumped to their feet, and a wave of applause commenced. And here I was clinging to the floor like a baby would its mother.

Eventually, I pulled myself up to see someone emerging from the smoke clouds. This had to be her. Princess Daisy.

Just looking at her, wow. To say this woman was beautiful would be an understatement.

Her skin was darker than that of Her Highness’s, and her eyes were royal blue. Was that a royal tradition or something? She boasted two flower earring as well.

Her clothes managed to compliment her slim build. A sleeveless shirt with a flower emblem made up her top, and orange/yellow shorts made up her bottoms. As for her feet, the princess wore white socks and orange tennis shoes.

Alright, let me take a guess. Was her favourite colour green? No, maybe purple. Definitely not orange.

“Hello, mushroom heads!”

The crowd applauded.

“I’ll be in town for a few days. Might have to stretch it to a week. So, I expect all of you to make every teeny-tiny thing comfortable for me. Can you handle it?”

All at once, Toads dispersed in mass. Some sprinted into that plane, while some dashed into the castle. My head spinning, I shrieked when something clenched on my shoulder.

“Pink cap, glasses, funny balls hanging off the head. Yep. You’re my helper, aren’t ya?”

“Y-Yes, ma’am!” My eyes blinked so fast, you’d swear I was having a seizure.

Princess Daisy shook my hand with an unneeded degree of force. “Neat-o. At least I won’t be mixing you up with the other spore-brains around this joint.”

The clanking of high heels got louder and louder. Sure enough, Her Highness was approaching me from behind. I swallowed spit and tightened my posture.

“If Toadette gives you problems, treat her as you see fit. But keep her alive.”

Princess Daisy smirked. “Like I need you telling me that, Peach.” Her grip got tighter, wrapping my hand like a Cobrat. “But, I think Toadette and I will get along just fine.”

“Just don’t do anything stupid again, understood?”

She left us to head back in the castle. Princess Daisy’s face switched from smug to annoyed as she walked me to the edge of the roof. Oh no, this was TOO close to the edge.

“When this kingdom eventually falls, she doesn’t know how hard I’ll be celebrating,” the princess uttered. “Anyways, whatcha think of my grand entrance?”

“Deafeningly impressive, Princess Daisy.” The ringing in my ears had yet to subdue.

“Awesome. Part of being a stylish princess: everyone’s gotta know when Daisy’s in town. But explosions don’t really look cool in the day, huh? Should’ve landed here at night.”

The princess dangled her legs over the roof, staring out into the miles of land surrounding us.

“Did Peach give you the rundown?”

“She told me you were robbed. That’s all.”

The princess groaned, pulling a shoe off. “Why does she always leave the important bits out. We’re searching for three things. You got an idea of one?”

What kind of game was this? She looked no different from Her Highness when she wore casual clothes. I scanned her from her feet to her hair, and everything was in order.

“Getting warmer,” she teased.

“I don’t know.”

“My crown, stupid.” She pointed at her head. “You ever seen a princess go out in public without one? Let alone another territory?”

“Sorry…”

Princess Daisy removed her other shoe, tossing it in my direction. Remember, Toadette, breathe through your mouth. The taste might be a bit soured, and your tongue may get dry. But it beats smelling lethal funk.

The royal now stretched her legs in my direction. “You’re too slow for the rest, so I’ll cut to the chase. The second thing on the list is my soccer ball.”

“Why would a soccer ball matter?”

“Because it’s no regular soccer ball. That baby’s made of gold with a hint of silver at its core.”

Her thick white sock hovered before my face. Now the advice from Penelope came back to me.

“You have cute socks, Princess Daisy.” Boy, that was one of the most awkward sentences to escape my lips.

“Ooh, if you like those, wait until you see my bare soles. In fact, that leads perfectly into the third thing stolen. My all-important shoe collection.”

“Huh?”

Seriously, unless you live in the trashy parts of Mushroom City, who the hell steals shoes? Or maybe these guys had a foot thing like Minh and were getting off to the smell.

“These sneakers are the only things I got right now. My flip-flops, heels, winter boots, fancy sandals all disappeared. Kinda pisses me off more than the soccer ball if I’m bein’ honest.”

“But why your shoes?” I questioned.

Slowly, the princess began to peel the sock off her right foot. “If someone of my status wears something, its value skyrockets to the heavens. Some commoners like you are dumb enough to pay millions for a smelly shoe because it was on MY foot.”

The middle of her foot was now revealed.

“Okay, that makes sense. But so, why do you need me?”

I couldn’t react to the sock landing on my cap. The princess pushed her right foot in front of my face.

Her big toe flexed its way into my mouth like a grubby worm.

“Two answers, Toadette. One, it’s not like I’m doing all this work by myself. And two, it’s not like Peach can train you to be an effective foot slave. So Daisy here’s gonna give you some real lessons, ’kay?”

The rest of her toes pinched my lips until I actively sucked on the big one. Yuck! Bits of sock fuzz swirled along with my tongue. It was like licking pulp that swims in orange juice.

Her big toe flew out my mouth and pushed into one of my breasts. “Swallow,” she commanded.

As much as I wanted to spit it out, the woman’s blue eyes locked onto me like a Bull’s-Eye Bill. Swallowing my sanity in the process, I closed my eyes and sent that sweat and sock lint down my throat.

My tongue drooped out my mouth for some freshness, but all it met was the princess’s foot. It came up and down twice before my tongue made a hasty retreat. What was that flavour?

“Just a sneak preview,” the princess said as she shoved her socks and shoes on. “But we’ve got plenty of time to train that mouth.”

My eyes widened as I watched the princess do a backwards somersault off the roof of the building. Just a few moments before hitting the ground, she appeared to spin, rise a little, then descend safely. She brushed herself off and waved me down.

“You waiting for an invitation?”

“I can’t do that!” I screamed, nearly falling off the castle from panic.

“Obviously not with that attitude. If you’re not down in ten seconds, I’ll go ask Peach for her whip.”

“You can’t be serious!”

“Nine, eight, seven…”

What choice did I have? I jumped off the castle. The wind got louder in volume the faster I went. And unlike this crazy royal, I couldn’t manipulate my body mid-air. That’s video game nonsense. This was the end for me.

Huh? How was I still breathing?

I opened my eyes to see the princess holding me up. Then she dropped me. “I may be a little crazy, but again, I’m not stupid. Now gimme a place of interest.”

“Place of interest?”

“Duh. Somewhere that seems interesting. A place we might get some hot info from.”

Well, that was easier said than done. How do you decide where to search when a thief has left zero clues behind?

Wait! Club 64! When I was a kid, my mom always mentioned drama finding its way back to that restaurant. Thankfully, I hadn’t experienced anything of the sort in the years I’d been there. But if we were gonna start tracking down some robbers, we’d be foolish not to start there.

Chapter Text

Keeping up with Princess Daisy’s footspeed was quite the exercise. Damn humans with their natural strength.

Club 64. The mention of that name filled my nose with the sweet aroma of coffee and vanilla. What a shame that the princess’s shoes killed the pleasant thought. All this walking in the streets caused dirt to settle on them.

“Boy, this city’s about as packed as my closet,” she said. “You don’t feel things are ever a little too close together?”

“You grow up here, you get used to it. Being bigger wouldn’t hurt, though.”

“A Toad who doesn’t blindly accept everything. I like that.”

I stomped in front of the princess. “Not every Toad is an idiot, you know.”

“Let’s see Peach go a year without being someone’s prisoner, and I’ll believe it. I’ve been telling her she needs to up her security, but so far, I don’t see a single change here.”

We made it to the westernmost side of Toad Town. Club 64 was just a few steps away.

“This is it,” I said, walking to the door.

YANK!

Down to the ground, I went.

“No-no-no, wait just a minute.” The princess put her hands on her hips. “You see all this dirt on my shoes? I gotta maintain some modesty in a restaurant. Make ’em clean.”

Ugh, this princess couldn’t have picked a worse hour. So many people flooded the docks at this time. Some fished, some were just chatting, and some were smoking. And I was going to be out here cleaning her shoes like a… well, I guess I was a slave.

“Yes, Princess,” I said, getting on my knees. I began to sweep the dirt off with my hand.

“Not gonna work, shorty,” she teased. “Lemme see that tongue.”

What little appetite I had flew south. This woman wanted me to lick her shoes? I mean, the dirt wasn’t thick, but nobody in their right mind wanted that stuff in their mouth.

I shut my eyes and took a quick lick.

“More. Come on.”

Damn, this was godawful. I went for another lick, this time on the side of her shoe. My whole body clenched from the powdery dust and sand mix. No, her shoe itself tasted no better. As I lapped the dirt up, Princess Daisy laughed about.

A passing Toad commented, “The hell is she doing?”

That was the encouragement I needed to do a better job at this licking. The faster I cleaned this woman’s shoes, the sooner we’d be out of the public eye.

Now I took lengthy licks on the tip of her sneakers. The dirt being so dry was a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it tasted terrible and was undoubtedly unhealthy. On the other hand, since the powdery blend dried out my salvia, it killed my taste buds after two minutes of licking. Then, like when licking Penelope’s feet last night, the flavour became plain. Tolerable.

“Good enough.” Princess Daisy stepped back.

“Let’s check this joint out. I might even grab a drink myself.”

So far, this foot stuff has had a consistent record of making me feel dirty.

Once inside Club 64, the scent of enticing food and coffee hit me immediately. It helped remind me that I didn’t eat breakfast today, nor did I eat much last night. Fortunately, despite the docks being busy at this hour, the restaurant didn’t gain traction until around 11.

On the stage, singing aloud to the audience was the self-titled Pop Diva. Real name? Minh probably knew it, but I didn’t care to. Despite my lack of knowledge about her, she wasn’t some lowbrow singer. On the contrary, her purple-spotted cap and red, devilish eyes made her an icon for the kingdom. And the people couldn’t get enough of her vibrato.

“Drink up.”

A giant glass pushed me back into reality. Princess Daisy practically forced the liquid down my throat. “Come on. We can’t have you walking around with a dry throat.”

I recognised that sour taste anywhere. Beer. Wine would’ve suited me better, but beggars can’t be choosers. After taking my sip, the princess gulped some of the alcohol down herself. A bit loose for a princess, wouldn’t you say?

“Who’s that broad?” The princess pointed to the stage.

“Pop Diva. Not my favourite singer, but—”

“Pop Diva, Toadette, jeez. And I thought my mom and dad were lazy for naming me after a flower.”

An instrumental part of the song commenced, and the singer broke into a dance. But, in flats, it wasn’t super impressive what she could achieve. Those are stock dancing shoes. Now, if Pop Diva did some dance moves in high heels, that’d have caught my attention.

“Somewhere in this small town, one of these Toads is probably wishing to lick her feet,” the princess chuckled.

“Ew,” I raised my voice. “Most people here are sane!”

“And did I say ALL Toads? In Sarasaland, you got three groups. The guys who want a girl’s boobs, the guys who wanna be under a girl’s lush butt, and the third group who wants to rub her feet. Especially after all that footwork she’s doing up there, wowsa! If she’s as popular as her name implies, there’s gotta be a bunch of fans snapping pics of her feet when they can.”

My nails almost ripped into my cap. “I learn that freaks can like feet only two days ago, and now it’s all I hear about.”

“Then either the Mushroom Kingdom is just that boring, or you’ve been living under a rock.”

Pop Diva resumed singing, but my thoughts clouded the lyrics of her song. In contrast, Princess Daisy bobbed her head to the tune.

Taking that swig of alcohol wasn’t the smartest move. Watching Pop Diva move around the stage as she sang drove my stomach crazy. Motion sickness? If I didn’t keep my head down, I was gonna barf all over this table.

Thankfully, the song soon came to an end, followed by a round of applause.

“Thank you! Thank you!”

The curtains finally closed.

CLANK!

“Let’s go,” the princess yelled.

“Where?”

“Backstage, I dunno. You saw that look she gave?”

I shook my head, all while trying to regain balance.

“She had that death look on her face!”

Princess Daisy grabbed my arm once more and flung me across the bar. Now glasses of alcohol were exploding onto me, but the princess pushed through with me as her shield. After bursting through a door, I stumbled about, ready to puke.

BONK!

In my stumbling, I collided headfirst with Pop Diva. The princess appeared to barricade the door with a bunch of chairs. My vision fell in and out, for I was on all fours spewing cold alcohol out my body.

“You in a hurry?” the princess asked, approaching the singer.

Between heavy breaths, Pop Diva said, “No, Princess Daisy. I just didn’t expect you to be part of my audience.”

“Yeah, bet you weren’t.” The princess felt the Toad up, and the singer went blue in the face. The royal checked every inch, even sticking her hand under her dress.

Eventually, the princess pulled out a crumpled paper. Oh, please don’t tell me it was in or near Pop Diva’s panties.

She scanned the paper, then tossed it to me. “Can you speak scribbles?”

The paper looked like it was etched on with a crayon. There were crude drawings of a crown, a football (or soccer ball, as Princess Daisy called it) and a flip-flop. Below that, there was a paragraph or two of text written in a cursive style. It wasn’t English, and I could tell based on the third word.

“I-I don’t know what I’m reading.” I squinted a second time, thinking it might be Spanish that Minh could read. But no, the alphabet was radically different. I’d never seen it in the Mushroom Kingdom.

“Well, that’s not gonna help us,” the princess sighed.

Pop Diva’s breathing got even shallow, and the princess’s clutch on her was not getting looser.

“Who gave you this?”

“I’m not at liberty to say.”

The princess slammed her against a wall, growling almost. “I can have you charged for impeding an investigation, fungus breath.”

“Excuse me, but you can’t enforce laws outside of your land, Princess Dai—”

“How are you Mushroom Kingdom people always so oblivious…” She threw the singer to the ground. “To the fact things won’t always go your way?”

As the princess pinned Pop Diva, she tossed me one of her shoes. An odd smell instantly tickled my nose. Twisting the shoe around, a balled-up sock fell from it like a Bob-omb dropped from an Albatoss. I titled my head, getting another view of Princess Daisy’s naked foot. Once again, it was the right one.

How long had that left foot been trapped in that shoe and sock now?

“Toadette!”

“Y-Yes, ma’am!”

“Shoes off! And don’t mess with me, I want your socks off, too. Welcome to your first dominating experience.”

I slowly undid my sneakers, clenching my teeth.

“If we can’t get a peep out of little Miss Songstress, the only tune she’s gonna be singing ’long to is a flatline.”

Chapter Text

Here we were, both standing over a famous singer. If the princess was going to do what I thought she would, I was going to be so embarrassed. She lifted one of her legs.

“Final chance to say something.”

Not even a second passed before she slammed her foot into Pop Diva’s chest. At first, everything was silent. The calm before the storm, if you will. Then the screaming started. This screaming was so shrill, so high-pitched. It was like nails against a chalkboard.

Over all of this screaming, the princess yelled to me, “Put your foot in her mouth!”

“What?”

“You heard me!”

Damn it, she was serious. Oh, this day was just going peachy. I pulled my right leg over Pop Diva’s face, gritting my teeth. How was I supposed to just shove my foot in her mouth like it was normal? And on top of that, wasn’t there an easier way to just get her to say something? Why not get the Toad Town police involved?

“Hey!”

My thoughts broke at Princess Daisy’s loud voice. One thing she was good at? Getting someone’s attention.

“Any day now! Jeez, I’m gettin’ wrinkles waiting on you.”

“G-Got it!”

I dangled my foot down to the singer’s face, keeping my focus on one of the walls. I didn’t even have to see my foot on her mouth to be grossed out. Her rubbery lips gave an unwelcome kiss to all my poor toes. But that was as far as they went. It didn’t matter what direction my foot came from. This woman’s mouth was like an impenetrable fortress. Occasionally I could slip a toe in just a little bit, but her teeth proved to be quite the annoyance.

Princess Daisy may not have been in my line of vision, but the anger coming from her was just intense. Like a wave of heat rushing over me.

My toes squirmed against Pop Diva’s lips, but nothing was happening. Getting desperate, I put my hands together and whispered to myself, “Just open…”

“KYAA!”

Before I knew it, I was flat on the floor. The princess either kicked me real good or her hand power was out of this world. Either case, my glasses flew straight off my face.

“Never mind, I’ll do this myself. Ugh, I blame myself for expecting more from a spore-head like you.”

My arms jittered, trying in vain to pull my body up.

“Just stay down there. I don’t need some useless pansy of a Toad screwing up my search.”

The princess went on to gag Pop Diva in the background while I was left on the floor trembling. I touched the side of my face, and my eyebrows lowered at the sight of my hand. Blood? Really? This was the great thanks I got for trying to help this lady out? I didn’t even want to meet her in the first place, yet I still put forth the effort to try and assist.

My nails dug into my palms. Who would’ve guessed I’d reach such high levels of stress AGAIN working under royalty?

Oh, but the craziest part was yet to come. I started chuckling. Yes, chuckling. Thinking of all the wacky stuff I’d been through in these past three days, it was funny. Something out of a book of mad-libs, except this wasn’t just random words on a paper. My life was warping into one sick mad-lib.

As my chest puffed in and out, I flipped over on my back. The sight of Princess Daisy’s toes flying in and out of Pop Diva’s mouth would make any sane person want to gag. Hell, it’d make me want to gag under normal conditions. But seeing someone else in so much pain was so satisfying.

Hunched over, I rose to my feet. “M-Move…”

Did she not hear me? “Move.”

The princess continued to shout at the singer, still jamming her foot past her purple lips. My twisted smile flipped into a scowl real quick.

“Goddamn it, move!!”

As soon as I took that first step forward, that was it. I headbutted the princess off of Pop Diva and planted my left foot flat onto her stomach.

Her face was nothing short of confused, with some spit stained on her chin. Forget words. I forced my right foot right down her throat. And unlike the princess, I made sure to go as deep as possible. None of that back and forth garbage was gonna fly now.

With the top half of my foot submerged in Pop Diva’s moist mouth, I wiggled my toes all around. Her choking sounds were loud but fell on deaf ears compared to the internal laughing playing in my head. Finally, I had some control over my life!

I must’ve had her suck on my foot for a good minute before I plucked it out her mouth. My left foot still had yet to get its time to shine. Hmm, but having her lick both of my feet wouldn’t have been nearly as satisfying. Something else had to spice up this treatment. Ah, I got it.

My sole lowered onto her tiny nose, rubbing up and down. Whether my feet stunk or not, I didn’t know, nor did I care. The smell of feet was unpleasant regardless, so all that mattered was that Pop Diva was suffering. With all this blood pumping, I couldn’t even feel the tickling her nose would’ve normally done.

To my left, I heard Princess Daisy…clapping? I gave her a brief glance before going forward with rubbing my greasy foot up and down Pop Diva’s face.

“Yeah! That’s what I wanted to see!”

So this is how I had to get approval? Being an anger-fuelled bitch?

The princess stepped on Pop Diva’s cap, inches or so away from my foot.

“It’s not so hard to be a good little Toad, you know. Just tell me who stole my stuff, and we can forget the whole thing happened.”

Pop Diva shook her head, saying, “Like I said, I’m not at liberty to—”

The princess kicked her cap like a ball, rolling her eyes. She must’ve had the same thoughts I had. How damn tight-lipped could one person be? I got that this wasn’t the best situation, but lady, you were being tortured.

I was ready to get a move on. But, before I moved my foot, the princess rested her foot slightly over mine.

“You gag her. I’ll suffocate her.”

My first instinct was to ignore the command. After just throwing me to the side like a piece of trash, Princess Daisy expected me to be cool? A tirade of words had been bubbling up, waiting for me to spit them out at her rude self.

That’s when my brain got a wake-up call. With my twisted and cruel behaviour, the princess was warming up to me. And if I could get in good fate with her, perhaps I could work my way up to getting on Her Highness’s good side. Of course, this sucked big time, but what else was a girl to do?

I curled my toes back and forth, preparing them to drive into Pop Diva’s mouth for another time. All the while, the princess put both of her feet over the top half of the Toad’s head. Pop Diva’s legs kicked out into the air as soon shoved my left foot inside of her.

As she sucked my toes, my intense rage was coming to an end. Watching her have my foot in her mouth began to make me feel sick instead of powerful. Nevertheless, I had to endure it if I wanted to leave this restaurant in one piece. With my sweaty foot in her mouth combined with the apparently awful smell of Princess Daisy’s feet scrunched around her nose, Pop Diva was in a total Hell.

“Alright, alright, let’s get off the girl. I can’t have her passing out now.”

She didn’t have to tell me twice. I jumped off the Toad, brushing my feet off with my hands. From the toes to the middle of the soles, Pop Diva had coated both my feet in a thick layer of saliva. You could bet there were a bunch of “Ew” sounds coming out my mouth.

While trying to clean my feet off, the princess said, “Interesting. So I gotta push you over the edge to get some results outta you.”

No, not at all. That’s a terrible way to get someone to do something. It was a good thing that I didn’t get really violent for both her sake and mine.

Princess Daisy picked the paper off the ground and held it before Pop Diva.

“This has been fun and all, but I didn’t plan on spending my whole day here. Just translate this gibberish, and they won’t have to know you ratted ‘em out.”

She glanced at me. “Or, we could completely destroy those pretty little vocal cords you got.”

Pop Diva nodded, gasping for fresh air. “Please, air…” Her once pale face had turned just as violet as her lips. If Princess Daisy’s feet smelt that bad, I didn’t dare to get on her side.

The princess picked one of her filthy socks off the floor. “You’re on my time. Just remember that.”

“In exchange for us giving you 640 coins, you will fake an accident in one of the Toad Town buildings on the north end. Buy us 30 minutes so that we can sneak through the city while the citizens are preoccupied. Make sure they’re kept AWAY from the southern and western sides of Toad Town.”

With a grin, Princess Daisy rubbed her slimy toes against Pop Diva’s red cheek, saying, “Good girl. Was that hard?”

West and south? Well, we at least had somewhere to look. Maybe.

“Oh, one more question before we go. Who gave you the order?”

“I don’t know. They were all covered in black. There were five of them, possibly more.” Then two shoes hit Pop Diva in the face.

“Now, put my shoes on. Don’t forget the socks.”

Boy, every visit to Club 64 after today would be super awkward. I just felt it. By tomorrow, somebody was probably gonna put a big TOADETTE IS BANNED sign up.

Outside of the restaurant, the salty ocean water was busy killing the germs on my feet. How sick in the head did I have to be to rub them all over somebody? But I mean, being gross made the princess like me. Ugh, all of this was like a tornado going off in my head.

“Yo! You done or not?”

Between this princess and Her Highness, I couldn’t tell which one was worse. I dried my feet with a couple of napkins before happily putting them back in my shoes and socks.

Princess Daisy folded her arms. “Ya know, weak as you are, I think there’s still some use yet to be squeezed out that little body.”

“That makes me so happy…”

“Hey, you chose to work for Peach. Don’t blame me for your problems.”

Not a single bit of eye contact was made between the two of us. Really, this lady didn’t deserve it.

“Don’t think I’m the enemy here. We’re both actually more similar than you’d think.” She wiped the sweat off her forehead.

I chuckled. “See, now that’s funny.”

“Laugh it off if you want. I’m just tryin’ to form some bond here.” She turned around. “You’re the only Toad I’ve met who thinks for themselves.”

…I guess we were in agreement there. I didn’t talk to many others who dared to say something terrible about Her Highness.

“Having the courage to push me like you did, then let that girl choke on your foot without my command… I gotta respect that.”

The princess looked to the sky. “Sun’s telling me it’s about afternoon. I wanna hit up one more spot before calling it a day. You got an idea where these thieves could be?”

Only one building in that specific part of Toad Town was weird, but it couldn’t be that suspicious. It’d been abandoned for years. Nobody went in or out of that place. No, that left us one place to check out. This day was just getting better and better.

I pointed straight-right past Princess Daisy. “Looks like we’re going underground.”

Chapter Text

If Club 64 was a place I was interested in visiting, you could call Toad Town Tunnels the complete opposite. Nothing but bad memories associated with that dump. Just looking at the rusted pipe ejected from the ground made my stomach churn.

The princess stretched her legs. “Don’t tell me you’re already scared.”

“The place itself is no big deal. It’s what’s in there.”

It had been years since I’d last walked through the tunnels. For all I knew, the pests of the past probably expanded. Buzzy Beetles dropping from the ceiling, Spinies poking holes in your legs, Dark Koopas keeping you in a permanent loop of dizziness. The danger levels were off the charts.

“Too bad you don’t got tough skin. I was raised fearlessly.”

I rolled my eyes as the princess jumped on the pipe, legs spread on the edges.

“AAH!”

And to the ground, she fell. She didn’t maintain her balance for even a second. I waited for her to get back up and go in the smart way, but she sat rubbing her legs. Almost like she was shaking in a way.

“Oh, yeah.” This little tidbit must have slipped my mind. “It’s pretty cold down there.”

I wasn’t talking about a bit of a wind draft either. Temperatures down there could rival those of Shiver City.

Suddenly, the princess started dragging me away from the pipe. “Maybe we’ll come back tomorrow.”

Tomorrow? I yanked my hand back, shaking my head. “We’ve still got a full day, and we’re already here.”

My fingers brushed along the pipe’s frigid edges. “See? It’s not that bad.”

“I hear ya and all. But, I mean, we’ve already done a lot today with that singer alone. You can’t tell me you don’t wanna lie in your bed for the rest of the day, right?”

This lady had some nerve telling me to grow tough skin. Scared of a little breeze? Now that’s pathetic. I folded my arms.

“What’s wrong, Princess? Don’t tell me you’re scared.”

She scoffed. “Don’t get smart with me, Toad. I just told you, I grew up learning to be scared of nothing.”

“Seems like that little draft from the pipe’s got you scared stiff.”

The princess just stared at me. Then, out of nowhere, her cocky grin came back in full force.

“Pssh. I could walk through your silly little underground barefoot if I really wanted. In fact…”

No. She wasn’t this stupid. Nobody in their right mind would even joke about walking on that nasty concrete without socks.

My eye twitched. She was this stupid. Proud and loud, Princess Daisy held one shoe out towards me. My hands rushed to protect my nose from the funk cloud and sock lint pouring out the shoe.

“How ‘bout the two of us play a little game?”

If she thought I was walking down there without protection on my feet, this woman had another thing coming. Nobody would get me to do something as sick as that, not even a royal.

Her proposal continued. “I’m gonna go all around this place completely barefoot, and if I come out the same ol’ bright and cheery Daisy, you’re gonna have to grand responsibility of licking the grime off my feet. Mmm, nice and salty. And after that, I’m still gonna make you scrub ‘em hard while this sexy body gets a bath.”

Hmmm… No doubt that the outcome was sickening if I were to lose this bet. But, the odds were stacked in my favour if she couldn’t even handle the pipe. And, well, you can’t have a bet without both sides being able to earn something. So I had a chance to really end my day with a blast. What would I request, though?

I could’ve found a way to make her suffer like what she put me through minutes ago. Maybe I could even humiliate her in front of Her Highness somehow. Or…

“And if you lose, Princess, you’re going to give me a great foot massage.”

“Ah, someone’s out here making big girl demands. You’re on.”

This was going to be a piece of cake. I dipped my legs into the mouth of the pipe.

“I just wanna see a royal like you so low that you’re taking orders from me. A spore head.”

The princess lifted one of her feet up, already dusty from the sand below us. “We’ll see if you’ve still got that attitude while you’re sucking on my feet.”

The suction carried me deep below the city. First, the pipe went straight, then it made a curve. Finally, it spat me out onto the wet, concrete floor. All my confidence quickly switched to disgust. You wouldn’t believe this place was inhabited by anybody, even the grossest of all the monsters.

Droplets of water hit my head. Three years since I’d last been here, and they didn’t patch up those ceilings yet. Wonderful.

And wow, the temperature from the pipe undersold just how damn cold this place was. A Mr Blizzard could live down here without melting into a puddle of water. But, even though it was unpleasant, my body didn’t mind it too much. I wiggled my fingers stretched my legs, and the cold failed to change how effective I could move.

Too bad I couldn’t say the same for Princess Daisy. She emerged out the pipe shivering and hugging herself as tight as possible.

“Huh, I’m impressed you lasted even a few seconds down here without shoes.”

Fighting through her breaths of air, the princess put her hands on her hips. “Please. If you think a little temperature drop’s gonna put Daisy outta commission, you’re loco.”

She rubbed her foot on the bottom half of my leg. “My toes are dying to dirty up your mouth.”

Like that was going to happen. Before taking off, I had to think about how we’d tackle this. That note mentioned the west and south of Toad Town, but these underground places were a twisty network of pipes and rivers. Combing the whole area could take a full day, maybe two. As much as it sucked, it looked like I was about to rely on my gut instinct only.

“We should go to the lowest level.”

“Hold up! That far?”

I grabbed the princess’s arm, walking her to the western door of the room. “It’s rare for anyone to be that low down. Maybe these guys betted on nobody finding them there.”

And so began our long trek through the tunnels. Two minutes in, and I already lost track of the exact number of doors and pipes we’d used. Brown and grey filled up every room from top to bottom. By the ten-minute mark, my eyes had gotten hungry. Hungry for some more variety.

I looked back to check on Princess Daisy. And yikes, she’d seen better days. Her colourful skin was replaced by a white complexion no different from that of a Boo. A blue blush dominated her skin on top of that. And her shivering had yet to slow down. Now her teeth were chattering, combined with her foot speed actively getting worse.

Dared I look at her feet? They’d turned just as white as the rest of her. And rarely did she stand on both legs, instead keeping one in the air at a time.

Okay, maybe this was going a little too far. It was hard to feel bad for the princess since she was the genius who came up with this stupid challenge. But even then, seeing her suffer like this kind of pulled my heart down.

I stopped in my tracks. “If you want, we can go back to the surface.”

Immediately, she raised her head. Jeez, even her nose had a blue hue.

“Ha Nice try to get me and lose the bet.”

“That’s not even why I—”

“Just get us to the bottom of this place. That’s your order, now.”

Well, you can’t help someone who doesn’t want it. So I continued my walk, sighing out the cold air.

THUD!

Oh, this wasn’t happening! The princess collapsed!

“You gotta be kidding me!”

I flipped her on her back, pushing the cold puddle water off her face. Her stomach rose and sank, so at the very least, she was breathing. But what the hell was I going to do? I couldn’t carry her all the way up to the surface. And if I left her there to get help, there was no telling what could happen to her.

Damn it! The tunnels only got darker as I paced around the room. The only thing I could think to do was warm her up. But neither of us had heavy clothing, nor did I have some sort of item to heat her up. Think, Toadette.

Wait! I wiggled my own toes, which were tucked away in my shoes, followed by being cushioned by my socks. The only part of my body heavily masked. Was I really going to try something this stupid?

…Yep. If it meant saving my own butt in the long run.

I lowered myself onto the princess’s stomach, using her arched legs as support. “I hate this…”

With my shoes and socks now off my feet, I planted them onto her face. Eek! Her lips felt so weird on them… I grasped her shorts, pushing my feet as hard as I could into her face. For her sake, I had to fight through my feelings of disgust.

Rubbing my hot feet up and down the princess’s face was a test in both resistance and endurance. Preventing myself from getting squicked out was just one half of the challenge. My legs throbbed, but they weren’t taking this day off.

My toes had the top half of the princess’s face covered, while my heels and whatnot worked on the lower part. Perhaps with this method, the heat from my feet would fade equally into her. I caught her nose between two of my toes, closing my eyes at the sight. Forget her lips. It was her nose that was going to get me to laugh. Breathing between my toes, the wind draft sent me to cover my mouth.

But my efforts could only continue for so long without me tiring out. My toes stopped in her orangish hair, and I leaned my head back. At this rate, I was going to be stuck in this place for the whole afternoon.

“What are you doing?”

That voice jumpstarted my heart real quick. The princess pushed my feet off her face, and um… Where was I to begin?

She looked at her hands, which were still as pale as the rest of her body. Then, she chuckled. “Guess I lost, huh?”

That was the first thing on her mind? I thought she’d be more excited at the fact she was still alive.

“Sucks I’m gonna have to take a boring bath by myself. But anyone who beats me in a challenge is worth something.”

She felt around my body, taking hold of my feet. Then she sighed in relief, rubbing my soles against her face.

“Sweet warmth…”

At least she gave my legs a break since she was controlling them for me. All I had to do was sit back and watch. Did I say watch? I mean, sit back and keep my eyes closed because the last thing I needed to see was my feet being used in this manner.

The princess took my feet down to her neck, with my toes scratching right under her ears. Her smile failed to disappear, though I had to question whether she was enjoying the warmth, my feet, or both. That question became truer when she brought my feet to the sides of her body.

I felt like a string toy being constantly pulled on. The princess repeatedly thrust my feet along her hips and sides, taking away my precious warmth. Yeah, that transfer didn’t come without penalty. She’d better be grateful after this.

Her legs straightened out, allowing me to at least lay down somewhat. If only the ceiling wasn’t dropping water on me. I twisted around on my stomach, with my feet back on the princess’s face. This time, the tops would be responsible for helping her warm up.

With my head near the princess’s feet, something grabbed my attention. There was no smell. Or maybe I’d just gotten so used to the rancid smell of the tunnels that her feet were nothing. Either way, I didn’t complain. The time I’d have to endure her foot stink might be the death of me.

For minutes, the princess absorbed my heat into her body. My toes were the only parts that still contained some amount of warmth. Could I at least leave with those? Please?

Ready to go, I asked, “You think you’ll be good now?”

“Just one more thing I gotta do.”

What now? Her face had to be good and well by now.

Ew! Did she just lick my foot? And she did it again! Great, now I was shivering for entirely different reasons. But I still tried to hold on. That is until her tongue made the mistake of going between my toes. Once that happened, I sprung off the princess, scrambling to pick up my shoes.

“You’re warm enough! We’re getting a move on!”

The princess laughed. “Hey, my tongue was frozen.”

And on top of her nasty mouth ruining my toes, my feet were kicking about in this dirty sewer water. My shoes contained them while I threw my filthy socks in my pockets. I was gonna have to give all these things a nice scrubbing once back at the castle.

“Not gonna put your socks back on?”

I shook my head. “Ever tried that after your feet get wet? The bottoms always come out all wrinkly and old-looking.”

“Forget about wrinkles. I’m tryin’ to keep warm here.” The princess put her shoes and socks both on. Good, they’d better stay on her feet.

Never had I seen someone so vulnerable to cold temperatures before. Well, not someone who wasn’t a Lava Bubble or something similar. And they say humans have less sensitive skin than Toads.

“Up or down?”

“Depends. How much longer is it gonna it take to get to the pit of this maze?”

I waved my hand past a pipe. “It’s right below us.”

Her jaw dropped, with her head following suit. One could only imagine what was going through her head.

“Let’s get this over with.”

I snickered. Hey, at least I wouldn’t be bringing her back as a Daisy-flavoured popsicle.

Chapter Text

Finally, we made it to the bottom of this hellhole. Despite the actual smell not changing, this was a breath of fresh air. Gone were the small and cramped rooms that all blended together. This here was a giant and expansive space. Right under us was a river storming around the area.

Princess Daisy hid her hands in her pockets. “Can we try and make this quick?”

“I dunno, I’m kinda getting used to the cold here.”

“Real funny.”

Jokes aside, being quick wasn’t really an option. Out of all the rooms, none were as dark as this one. We’d have to skim every single corner just to make sure no stone was left unturned. And combined with the massive scale of the area, searching the floor space here would take an eternity.

“OW!”

What stupid thing did the princess do this time?

“Only in the Mushroom Kingdom do idiots put random blocks everywhere!”

I followed her groans until I bumped into her backside. Blocks? Well, she wasn’t wrong. A mass of stone blocks spanned from the floor to the ceiling, like a tower. Not only that but they were pushed right against a wall.

“I think we found them.”

The princess cocked her head. “I’m pretty sure blocks can’t walk and steal stuff.”

“I meant behind them. There’s probably a door or some hole carved in the well. It’s not that uncommon if you’re on the run.”

While she stood dumbfounded, my eyes scaled the massive structure a second time. I could only shake my head in disbelief. “You’d have to be either real strong or have a lot of people helping you to set this--”

SPLASH!

What the? That was odd. Sounded like something came out the water. Must’ve been a small fish or something since whatever it was disappeared.

The princess rotated her arm. “Just give me a second, and I’ll bust these down in one hit.”

“Why not? That’s the quickest way to break your hand.”

Those stone blocks, in particular, needed weapons to destroy them. Hmm... Silver hammers could work well, but it wasn’t like we had those on hand. Dead end.

“Unless you got a hammer hiding somewhere, we’re screwed.”

“We’ll just come back tomorrow then. I can’t believe I actually wanna be back in Peach’s castle now.”

Odd how the princess seemed to have a disdain for Her Highness. I mean, she wasn’t the nicest person like I expected, but you’d think that mean attitude they both shared would make them the perfect friends.

I folded my arms. “Did you learn your weird foot punishment stuff from her?”

“Ha, reverse that, and you got it right. Peach wasn’t a fan of it back then, but I sure got a kick outta it.”

“Back then?”

The princess nodded, rubbing her hands together. “Yeah, I was about 8 or something. Had pretty feet back then and still got some cute toes now.”

Wait, so Her Highness wasn’t always like this?

“If she didn’t like doing this stuff, then what changed?”

“Ooh, you want a story. Well, I’d love to talk your little head off. But first, can we like get to civilisation?”

Aw, I wanted to learn. At least we were finally on our way back up to the surface. It wouldn’t take nearly as long as descending.

Or so I thought. It didn’t take long for my thoughts to get shattered as something heavy clapped against the water. You’d think an earthquake was going on with how much the platform vibrated. Dropping on all fours, I wasn’t ready for the giant wave ready to crash on us.

I poked my head above the raised river, spitting out bursts of water. Damn it! This place was throwing problem after problem at me. Now both myself and Princess Daisy were soaked from head to toe. And after I’d gone through such lengths to keep her from freezing to death.

Worse yet, the water rendered my poor glasses useless. Drenched and covered in specks of dirt, those lenses couldn’t serve my eyes at all. I folded them up and shoved them in my wet pockets, squinting to make some sense of what surrounded me.

As the river descended near its original level, the princess finally emerged out of the filthy water. Her hair and clothes switched from warm colours to a dark and musty tint.

“I hate this stupid place!!”

Who could blame her? But my body being soaked was a minor nuisance compared to the insides of my shoes. In every free space, that water took refuge. Yuck, my toes felt simultaneously slippery and slimy. It only took seconds for them to get wrinkly, too.

AAH! Caught between a rock and a hard spot. And I couldn’t just barefoot this place since that’d be equally as unpleasant, if not worse.

“Question...” Princess Daisy tapped on my shoulder like she was ringing a bell.

“Yes?”

“Is that thing a squid or an octopus?”

Son of a bitch, it was happening. Craning my head up, my eyes met the one creature I didn’t want to encounter down here. A wild Electro Blooper. Just seeing it pulse white and yellow reminded me of the terrible shock these things can give. And in this water-filled environment, to have a giant one soaking in the stuff was nothing short of horrifying.

“Okay. On three, you want to run to the pipe. Don’t argue…”

“You sure abo—”

“Don’t.”

The giant Blooper was not leaving my sight. Oh, but how good could I run with my shoes heavy and sloshing through water? Guess there was only one way to find out.

“Go!”

My feet stomped forward, but behind me, there was a shriek. Goddamn it! I spun to see that two long tentacles had wrapped around the princess. Tightly, as a matter of fact. Like a snake.

“Why didn’t you move!?”

Trying to pull the tentacles off her, she said, “Don’t tell me to run on three if you’re just gonna say GO!”

…I stayed silent on that.

Before I could come up with a new idea, the princess began to slide away. No, no, no! The Blooper was reeling her in!

“Grab a pole!”

“I only see columns!”

“Whatever!”

Screw these word games. Something had to be done about the Blooper. We didn’t have to kill the thing, but at least get it distracted or scared or something. I fled behind one of the gigantic support columns that held the floor above us.

Suddenly, two sharp sounds echoed through the room. Biting my lip, I just had to peek around the corner.

Two more tentacles centred on the princess, who hugged the brick column. They danced around her, but what were they doing specifically? Much of the column hid them from me. My poor heart felt like it was gonna burst out of my chest.

“My shoe!”

Huh? One of the princess’s shoes landed in the water, with a sock landing a great distance away on the platform. Then another shoe was swept away by the current while another sock landed safely.

“Hey, those are the only shoes I got right now, idiot!”

Maybe her shoes were making her difficult to grip for the Blooper.

Back to planning an attack, we had nothing to hit this thing. Why didn’t I think ahead before coming down here!? It did nothing but cause problems for us.

“Hahahahahaha!”

Now the princess was laughing. Enough of this corner stuff. I popped out, only to scream and flail my arms. This bastard wasn’t slick! Its tentacles were tickling her feet! Oh, and I thought I had seen everything. Nope.

Princess Daisy kicked her feet back and forth, but she couldn’t go anywhere. Those tentacles on her stomach glued themselves to her. And her feet being touched only caused her grip to get looser and looser.

Between her laughter, she shouted, “N-Need help!”

The pulsating Blooper’s eyes didn’t let a single one of us avoid it. Yet, the risk was worth taking. Yelling, I sprang from the edge of the platform to give the beast a heavy kick.

SMACK!

Oof! That concrete was not the most pleasant thing to hit, let me tell you. While I sat with half my body in the river, the Blooper didn’t let up on the princess. In addition to sweeping up and down her feet with the tips of its tentacles, its suction cups would latch on and off the princess’s dusty soles. All the while, her laughing got louder and her grip weaker.

If the Blooper could intercept me in the air like that, clearly, a direct hit was gonna be an obstacle. Hmm... No, I wasn’t giving up! Even if I lacked a weapon, perhaps I’d be able to outsmart this thing. Somehow.

“I’m slipping!”

Princess Daisy’s fingers began dancing up and down, ready to let go of that column. As her body wiggled from the tickling, the Blooper’s tentacles performed at lightning speed. You could hear the scratchy little sounds of the tickling from metres away. Her toes flexed and curled all over the place, and combined with her legs kicking, there was little chance the princess would hold onto the column for long.

Okay, Toadette. Think about something you saw today that could help. Pipes? No. Water? No, it swims. Um... Shoes? The image of the princess’s shoes drifting away in the river stuck in my mind. Out of the corner of my eye, one of her socks sat limply on the floor. Collecting it and its twin, I smiled.

“I got it.”

The second time down here that I’d have to do this. Who would’ve guessed? Kicking my shoes off, my wet feet had the displeasure of walking on this nasty floor again. The bits of dirt under my feet sent shivers up my spine, but I took a deep breath.

“Hey, ugly!”

The Blooper’s eyes didn’t shift, but I knew this thing saw and heard me.

“You want her so bad!? Try tickling her everywhere! Her stomach, ’tween her toes, her face, you’re missing a lot of ground!”

Come on, stupid. Take the bait…

I continued, “What’s wrong? You don’t want a nice royal dinner? Believe me, the bottoms of her feet taste... scrumptious. Especially when they’re all black and dirty like now.”

Holding back a puke, I crossed my fingers. Please, fall for it.

Still blind to fine details in this darkness, the princess’s facial expression was a mystery. But her barrage of insults pretty much told me everything she felt about me at that moment. Let’s see, spore head, check. Fungus, check. Mush-for-brains, yeah, of course, she called me that.

Within seconds, tentacles began to fly out the water like white and yellow bullets. One after another, they targeted Princess Daisy. Six in total, I counted. Added with four, we had ten tentacles, all focused on sending the princess into a tickling frenzy.

She let out more laughs as the tentacles did just what I suggested. One of those slimy things slid back and forth between her dirty toes. And on the other foot, another tentacle trilled its end on the top of her foot. Two extra tentacles went up and down on her hips which... Ugh. If she were as ticklish there as I was, that must’ve felt horrible. But continuing, a free tentacle had gotten a spot that surprised me: behind the princess’s ear. Finally, the last tentacle played with her cheeks, probably soaking up the tears she was leaking out.

I had this bastard right where I wanted him. Let’s see him try and intercept me now! With both my sneakers in each of my hands, my toes clutched onto the edge of the platform. The Blooper was so close to reeling the princess off the platform. A few seconds, if that. But he wasn’t suspecting that Toadette here had one more strategy.

Airborne, I launched both my shoes into one of the Blooper’s eyes. Yes! And for stylish points, I backflipped off its rubbery skin and just landed on the platform. Immediately, the place began to rumble. Green waves crashed on me once more, sending me swirling to the wall of blocks.

It must’ve been one whole minute I had spent underwater. By the time I got a hint of air, my insides felt twisted.

No Blooper. But what about the princess?

Taking a step without slipping was a new challenge in this cold and wet place. My legs were so sleepy, my clothing heavy, and my eyesight strained. Wobbling, I wiped my damp hair out of my eyes. The colours yellow and white started to come into view.

“What in the world...” Princess Daisy breathed as heavily as me, hunched over and dripping wet.

“Your socks, princess.”

They may have been drenched beyond belief, but it was still safer than having her walk around barefoot.

“I thought you turned on me for a second. Can’t believe you got the thing to let me go.”

“Some of ’em have ten tentacles max. I knew he couldn’t knock me out if he was messing with your ticklish feet.”

She slapped me on the back, causing me to flinch. “Neato!”

All of this just to find some stolen goods. Huh, it’s strange. Despite this being somehow scarier than half the stuff I dealt with in the past, it was exciting. I stretched my hand out to the princess, wiggling my fingers.

“To the castle?”

She stared at my hand for a few seconds. Oh well. I began to retract it until-- OW! She clasped it real tight and smiled.

“You lead.”

Chapter Text

After being covered in saliva, soaked in the dirty tunnel water and having to make my way back here barefoot, I breathed a sigh of relief, washing those germs off. For a job with a basic description, they sure were sending me into a mess of situations. What next? Throwing me in a volcano?

Alright, I finished with showering. Now, what to wear? It wasn't like I was going anywhere special for the night. Simple pyjama pants and a plain, white T-shirt worked fine enough.

While rubbing my stomach, I realised just how much of an appetite it had built up. Who could blame it after using all that food energy on squid-face?

After a chilly descent to the kitchen (thank you, tile floors), a nice bowl of Spicy Soup warmed me up. I crossed my legs on the ground, took a spoonful of the red liquid and let it run down my throat. Oh, and once the first gulp came, that was it.

My lips sat on the edge of the bowl, now drinking the soup like it were a beverage. And with those yummy, soft potato chunks melting in my mouth, my teeth didn't budge an inch. Even for such an everyday meal, I couldn't remember the last time I'd tasted Spicy Soup this wonderful.

“Boo!”

It took a moment to lower the bowl from my face. To no one's surprise, it was Her Highness's spawn. Great, what did she want this time?

She groaned. “You were supposed to scream.”

“Your voice is the last thing I'd call intimidating, kid.”

She plopped down, extending her legs to meet mine. Wow. It was still weird how she was so much younger, yet we weren't too different in height. Although, of course, I was taller. It'd be embarrassing if I wasn't. But still, where would she be in four or five years? Provided I'm even working at the castle at that point.

“Is it true you really beat a Blooper?”

I licked the remaining soup off my lips. “Oh, she told you, huh?”

“Miss Daisy tells me everything. She's the best non-aunt in the universe.”

Really now? I grasped my toes, stretching my body out.

“Kid, Miss Daisy almost got herself killed more than once. She's lucky I came to this castle when I—”

What was she doing? Penelope mimicked my stretching action. Or should I say, she attempted to. Poor girl didn't seem to grasp the importance of flexibility. Yet, even in that half-hearted position, she continued to talk.

“Have your feet always been so humongous, Miss Toadette?”

I sprung back to neutral, gasping. “My feet are normal, thank you very much.”

“Nuh-uh.” Readjusting herself, Penelope stuck one of her feet in between mine. “They're giant!”

Ugh, I wish I were her mother just so I could forcibly shut her up. Looking at our feet closer, she wasn't exactly wrong. Yeah, that hurt to confess. My feet were indeed taller than hers. But the difference was less in size and more in form. Penelope's feet were really, hmm, how to say… Chubby. Very, very chubby. Remember how I thought they felt like two enormous marshmallows?

In contrast, my feet were slender. I didn't choose that. That's just how they grew.

“They're no Miss Daisy or Mother in size, but wow!”

She began rubbing the bottoms of her feet against the tops of mine. Tingling, I covered my mouth, giggling. And she wasn't letting up, keeping pace.

“You know, I'd love to tickle you with your girlfriend another time.”

Nope, nope, nope. We weren't going through tortuous tickling again. My legs retreated as I stood up.

“I gotta get to bed, alright?”

“Before you do…”

Damn it. Of course, my evening couldn’t be simple.

Penelope took the empty bowl out of my hands. “I'll be going out with you and Miss Daisy tomorrow.”

I snickered. “Aw, that’s cute. But no, you're not.”

“Mother said I could, and Miss Daisy said I could. So yes, I am.”

Oh, she was serious. So everyone got a say in this but me? Perfect. And all the while, this brat had a big, wide grin taking up most of her face.

Now, if this girl was gonna be a part of this search, I'd have two royals to manage. An adult who could barely care for herself, and a child who definitely couldn't care for herself. The only question was how I was going to keep them both out of harm's way. Easier said than done.

Back in my room, exhaustion caught up with me. My bed was calling my name.

I sighed a breath of relief. “Finally, I'm done today.”

“Not yet.”

Just my luck. A few steps forward, and there she was, Princess Daisy on MY bed. At the very least, she seemed to have taken a shower. No longer was her hair drooping or her clothes a soggy mess. And would you look at that, there was some actual colour back in her skin.

My instincts initially signalled me to freak out, you know, because of the bottoms of her feet on my clean sheets. But, to my surprise, her feet were fairly clean. They were definitely the cleanest I'd seen all day.

She rolled off the bed. “Sit.”

Didn't have to tell me twice. As soon as I reached my bed, my body collapsed on the firm mattress. All that jumping and sprinting that Blooper made me do must have put serious stress on my muscles.

Tilting on my side, I asked, “What do you want this time?”

“I’m just holding my end of the bargain. But if you wanna be ungrateful…”

Oh, I'd completely forgotten we had that bet where she'd give me a massage. You tend to forget that stuff when you're focused on saving someone's life. Twice. At the same time, wow. To get a massage from a princess… You couldn't get more backwards than that if you wanted to.

The princess had this bottle in her hands she shook up and down. Just a tad bigger than the size of a water bottle. An orangish substance curled out the bottle like toothpaste, forming into a mass in the princess's bare hands.

She chuckled. “Sarasaland-exclusive, right here.”

My head went back straight, looking at the ceiling. Princess Daisy rubbed the substance in her hands and quite intensely from the sounds of it. Ten seconds later and she took hold of my left foot, somewhere around the middle section. Then, her thumbs pressed into my sole.

I let out another sigh, feeling all the stress stored in me begin to fizzle out.

Whatever weird lotion she used had was super warm. And the texture, now that threw me for a loop. I expected a silky-smooth sensation, not something chunky. Yet, through all odds, I was in Heaven. My foot felt as if it was bathing in oatmeal.

“How often do you get massages?”

I ran my fingers along my cap. “Never. I always turn them down.”

Honestly, the fact I wanted her to rub my feet in the first place would shock anyone who knew me. So far, Princess Daisy was the only exception to my little no-contact-with-my-feet rule.

She squeezed her fingers between my toes and then rubbed my big toe in circles with her free thumb.

“Heh, you better be real glad you didn't refuse this one.”

Another load of cream coated the princess's hand before splatting against my right foot. I bit my lip as sighs bounced through me internally. As her thumbs pressed into my arch, swirling round and round, my fingers were digging into my sheets. Should I have really been enjoying this? She was touching my feet. My feet! It was gross, but it also didn't feel gross. Ugh, I didn't feel like processing all of this. Best to just go with the flow.

I tilted my head to get a look at Princess Daisy. Her blue eyes sharply focused on my feet, not attempting to even look me in the eyes. If I didn't know better, I'd say she looked furious.

Two minutes followed when she started to tug on all my toes. And when she did, she would apply a satisfying pressure to the area right underneath them. And would you look at that. All the soreness I had felt walking here. Gone.

By the time the massage ended, my feet felt very minty. Hot, yet cool. In the background, the princess clapped her hands together.

“Now, how was that for your first Sarasalandic massage?”

I gave her a thumbs-up, sighing on and off.

“Yeah, I knew you'd love it. Peach likes to call us outdated, but don't change what isn't broken.”

I piped up, “Hang on. You were gonna tell me about you and her, right?”

Princess Daisy put her hand on her chin, keeping her vision on my feet and not my face.

“I dunno. You seem like you're dying to count some sheep.”

“No, I'm…”

If only a yawn didn't prevent me from finishing that sentence. The princess began waving and walking to the door.

Then, in an instant, she sprinted back, jumping on the bed and nearly into me. I bumped my head into the bed frame to scurry from her.

“Aw, what the hell. It's not every day someone WANTS to hear me talk.”

Chapter Text

Princess Daisy set her feet on my pillows, right next to my head. Getting a real sense of déjà vu here.

“So, which story you wanna hear? I got trillions off the top of my head.”

Yeah, no. We weren’t wading through two stories in one night, let alone trillions.

“Surprise me. Something with you and Her Highness.”

“Hmm, let’s see… My first real foot experience with Peach happened when I was eight. My first time in the Mushroom Kingdom.”

I tapped my fingers. “Let me guess. You hated it?”

“Compared to Birabuto, it looked primitive.”

“Birabuto?”

The princess looked to the window. “Yeah, Sarasaland’s signature desert kingdom. Beautiful, especially compared to this wasteland.”

A desert? Well, that explained her issues with coldness. After trekking through the Dry, Dry Desert, I never wanted to step foot in another sand land ever again.

She continued. “So, I’m walking through this huge castle, and Peach is holding my hand all the way through. I see all these freaky mushroom people, and she’s all like, ‘It’s okay, they’re normal.’”

I muttered, “We don’t even look that different from you….”

“That night, we’re in the same room. Peach is sleeping, but I’m, you know, doing anything but. Back then, you’d have to sedate me if you wanted me to sit down and sleep. I was bored out of my mind. So, I pull myself up in Peach’s bed, and I’m leaning over her body.”

I gasped. The princess started stroking my legs with her fingers. “So, her feet are sticking out the covers, scrunched up ’cause she’s on her stomach. For some reason, I’m getting jittery and give one of her feet a poke.”

She then proceeded to push her finger into my right sole.

“Now, that didn’t wake her up either. So, I kick things up a notch.”

I opened my mouth to yawn and was immediately met with something entering it.

“I stick my big toe in her mouth.”

This lady. Oh, how I wanted to spit this thing out so badly and gargle some mouthwash. But for some reason, and I can’t explain why, I instinctively began to suck on her big toe. Nasty! Was my body starting to adjust to this freaky stuff?

As the princess thrust her meaty toe back and forth, she stayed narrating.

“Yep, and Peach started sleep-sucking my toe. Her teeth tickled me like crazy. I mean, trying not to laugh was a true test of endurance. And after I gave it a second or two, something awoke within me.”

The rest of her toes drove themselves into my mouth, with only the pinkie sitting outside.

“I realised just how much I loved the sensation. There the rest of my toes went, squirming to fit their way past her lips. It was GOOD. Well, until I let out that one sigh. Then, all of a sudden, she comes to life.”

When those toes slid out my mouth, I gave my pillow a lengthy lick. Anything to get those icky germs off my poor tongue. The texture may have been rough, but I embraced it.

She chuckled. “Peach is screaming like crazy, and I’m all like, ‘Shut up!’ Heh, and she had the same reaction you’re having. Licking her pillow and bedsheets like that’d get the taste of my perfect feet out her mouth. Called me a maniac.”

Then I said, “You put your foot in her mouth while she was sleeping. So yeah, you’re a maniac.” “All it meant was I was a curious little girl. And that curiosity opened the door to a pleasure I never would’ve guessed I’d be into. Of course, I never even considered the idea of someone smelling my feet or licking the soles. No, that came later.”

She pushed her feet against my nose, scrunching it between her big and second toes. Thank goodness they didn’t stink. It was… pumpkin-scented or something close. Still, was she trying to suffocate me? My whole head’s movement was locked from the force of her feet.

“Fast forward two years, I’m back in the Mushroom Kingdom. Peach and I are sitting out by the pools. Both barefoot, in bathing suits, feet stretched out on those chairs. And that’s when this Toad servant comes by to give us a drink.”

Under her massive feet, I mumbled, “Oh no….”

“Look, it was burning out there. But I also wasn’t quite ready to dive into the pool. So, I tell him to get on his knees. And he does so, like a good spore-head. Then, I point at my feet and order him. My exact words: Worship my feet.”

I was out of the darkness as her feet lowered from my face. Now the princess was only a few centimetres away from my face.

“He’s confused, and I repeat myself. Still doesn’t get what I mean. And frankly, his lack of brain cells called for me to give him a little assistance.”

In a flash, Princess Daisy forced me down into her feet. And, eck, right on her backside.

“By now, he got the message pretty clear that Daisy wanted a nice tongue massage.”

There was no getting out of this situation. Her body strength still dwarfed mine like crazy. Finally, accepting defeat, I stuck my tongue out and brushed it against the bottoms of the princess’s feet. Still, the worst was yet to come. They could’ve been as black as Minh T.’s feet typically are.

As I worked on her soles, the princess yanked on the braids of my cap.

“OW!” “And he knew that he had to work very hard before this loving princess would let him go.”

What a bitch. I picked up the pace as well as I could, getting about ten sloppy licks in per minute. Any faster, and my tongue would’ve torn out the socket. No one should be so specific and demanding with an absurd task like getting their feet licked. I couldn’t even pinpoint a flavour. I was just so desperate to escape her clutch.

Princess Daisy stood up and brought her foot down on my cap. Slowly she started to wipe my saliva off her soles. Yeah, great, do this AFTER I showered. Real nice princess here.

“And while I’m having the time of my life, Peach is sitting there getting flashbacks. She was like, ‘Ew, ew! What’s wrong with you!?’ Meanwhile, I’m sitting there moaning in my seat. That tongue felt so good on my heels….”

My again-violated body shivered as my cap only got moister from the princess’s feet. Why did this have to be my castle position of all jobs?

“I tell Peach that when I become Sarasaland’s leader, I’m gonna create a new foot slave program throughout my castle. She said I was cruel and that she’d never have anyone under her feet like that. Well, look where we are now.”

Good, she stopped using me like a rag. But, noting the silence, I came to realise that the princess had concluded her little story. Yet, there was still more information I could pry to satiate my own curiosity.

“So…?”

She shrugged, “So…?”

“So, how’d Her Highness go from disagreeing with you to full-on agreeing with you and then some?”

The princess’s sunny demeanour went neutral like a deer caught in headlights. But then, she changed back to a smile, shaking her head.

“Oh, I could go on for hours about that. But I might have time to abrid—”

“Afraid not.”

The two of us snapped our heads to the door. It was Her Highness.

Did she hear everything? No, forget that. Was there something we shouldn’t have been talking about? Ugh, think of a lie, Toadette. Think of something to save yourself.

Each footstep of Her Highness accelerated my heart rate. Looking out the corner of my eye, however, Princess Daisy stood firm. The fearlessness she boasted about may have failed her in the tunnels, but she put it in full effect here.

“What’s up, Peach? Just giving Toadette here a little lecture ’bout myself.”

Her Highness put her hands behind her back. “Well, I have a little lecture for her myself. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be taking her for the night.”

Before Her Highness could step forward, Princess Daisy put her arm up.

“Tonight’s not the best time. Look at her. She’s dying to get some sleep.”

She ran over and pushed me into a laying position, making a wrinkled mess out of the sheets decking the bed.

“Besides, I gotta make full use of her tomorrow. She’s practically the key to me getting my stuff back.”

Her Highness glared at me and then spun around. “If that’s the case, perhaps you should let her rest too, no?”

“Who said I wasn’t?”

“Oh, and seeing as you’ll be resting early tonight, Toadette, I expect to see you early in the morning. Is that understood?”

I nodded. “Yes, Your Highness.”

Boy, this was quite the day. The two royals exited my bedroom, leaving me to enter another night of peaceful slumber. 

Chapter Text

By the early morning hours, I had already dressed and eaten. Well, mostly dressed. With my sneakers lost to the underwater rivers, another footwear had to suffice today. Flip-flops? Not my preferred choice. Besides, I didn’t need my toes exposed if we were going back to Toad Town Tunnels.

Aside from my flip-flops, the only other option was my pink flats. Looked like I’d be rocking those for the day. After that, I just had to throw on a pair of stockings, and I’d be set to go.

For this morning, Her Highness had summoned me into her bathroom for 6AM. Getting there wasn’t too far of a trek. A few stairs, entering Her Highness’s room, nothing new. But, once inside the bathroom, the richness of Her Highness began to strike me.

The bathroom’s scale alone could leave someone awestruck. It was no smaller than her actual bedroom. And that room felt like a large sports field. Lots of golden and creamy-white colours blasted the place, with all the surfaces so shiny I could see my reflection.

And if you looked left from when you walked in, roughly 40 metres away, a gigantic bathtub stood high in the air. You could call that a regular swimming pool, and I’d believe you. The tub was 7 or 8 metres tall at a glance, and a staircase built into it led you to the top.

Even though my mind was blown, one question pestered me. What exactly was I supposed to do in Her Highness’s bathroom? I was told to wait here, but when was something going to happen? She couldn’t have wanted me to clean anything based on how polished these walls and floors were.

After what felt like forever, the bathroom door finally opened again.

“Excellent. You’re here.”

Her Highness stepped before me, wearing a lightweight outfit. Barefoot this time, instead of in her traditional heels. Thanks for giving me an inkling of what I was in for.

My posture hastily straightened. “What am I doing today, Your Highness?” She lifted one of her feet, showing me the underside. And yuck. It was filthy. Not in a caked-on manner like her daughter had the second day, but splotchy. Like someone had taken a paint gun full of soil and blasted it on her.

“Around four, I’d taken a trek through the castle grounds. The courtyard, the garden, just relaxing before the sun could rise.”

Her Highness pointed down to her feet, puckering her lips. The message was obvious, so I complied, kissing the tops of her feet. Disgusting, but better than the bottoms, at least.

“But as you can see, I just might have taken the walk barefoot.”

As her feet continued to receive kisses, she curled her toes up and down.

“And as happy as it makes me not to have my feet restricted in tight-yet-fashionable shoes, a princess can’t go about her day with filthy feet. As I’m sure you’re aware.”

I nodded.

“How fortunate then that you’ll be licking them to perfection. Right?”

Damn it all. This is exactly what I avoided doing with Princess Daisy. And now I was going to have to do with Her Highness, whose feet dwarfed the already-large feet of the crazy princess.

“Yes, Your Highness,” I mumbled, giving her filthy big toe a smooch.

The tall lady walked away to activate something on the wall. It looked to be a dial. In a few seconds, the entire room started to vibrate. What followed was the beige curtain masking most of the bathtub splitting to each edge of the massive tub.

And as this went on, another horror happened right in front of me. Her Highness began removing her clothes. Nope, nope. There were things my eyes didn’t need to see, and the naked body of our princess was one of those.

Blinded I may have been, but deaf I wasn’t. Her footsteps got farther and farther away, eventually going above me.

“I can’t wait on you forever, Toadette.”

How I wish she could. Up the stairs I went, reaching the bathtub’s edge. Thankfully, it was so broad I didn’t risk falling off.

“Now then, let’s see you get to work.”

With Her Highness’s blackened feet waiting to be licked, I had to learn how I could stall this out. This mouth was not ready for the load of nasty dirt she wanted to shovel in it. So, my first move involved rubbing my thumbs along her soles. A prep thing if you will. She wouldn’t get mad over a massage, right?

Usually, if I feel dirt on my own feet, it’s kinda smooth and grounded into them, like powder. But here, the dirt had a very rough and pronounced texture. It was loud and proud.

One minute in, and Her Highness already folded her arms. So much for my stalling strategy. She left me with no choice but actually trying to lick her feet. The very tip of my tongue trilled against her big toe. It was like awkwardly hugging that one relative you’re never around. Minimal contact let’s put it bluntly.

“If I wanted a poor job done, I’d have picked any other Toad in this castle, sweetie.”

Man, what would it take to please this woman? Screw it, I put my whole tongue to use. Better to just rip the bandage off than do it slowly. One slow lick up her bunched-up toes left me smacking my lips. Not because it was tasty, but because it was so coarse. A ridiculous amount of dirt was caked into her feet.

While I suffered, Her Highness started rubbing soap on her skin. “Oh, you’ve still far to go before I can actually call you a talented foot slave.”

You know, she’d only recently adopted this idea, right? What would she know about what makes a good servant? I’d think the crazy orange-haired princess would be more of an expert in this field.

“Enjoying yourself up there, Peachy?”

Speak of the devil. Sprinting up the stairs was the desert lady herself. Each footstep sounded like a brick crashing on tile floor. If she’d gone any faster, she might’ve cracked a hole in this tub.

Her Highness jammed her toes in my mouth. “I was…”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Now, pardon me, but I’ll be taking Toadette here.”

Before Princess Daisy could hoist me from under my armpits, Her Highness wrapped both her legs around my neck. This was worse than when she had the collar on me. For a princess who gets kidnapped every other month, I didn’t expect her to have remotely impressive body strength.

“Excuse me, but since when was she your slave? You’ll have to wait until I’m finished with her.”

Oh, great…

Princess Daisy clenched onto Her Highness’s legs, tightening the grip they had on me.

“Hey, you lent her to me, remember? Right now, she’s mine!”

As the two princesses bickered, I found myself in a truly surreal position. People were fighting over me. Of course, it was for a stupid reason, but still, I was being fought over. And by royal people, nevertheless. It almost made me forget about the lack of oxygen going to my brain. Almost.

Princess Daisy slapped Her Highness’s leg, yelling, “Fine!”

Then, she got on her knees, right next to me.

“Make this hard all you want. I’m the queen at coming up with solutions.”

Said the lady who relied on me to attack a Blooper yesterday. Her Highness, chuckling, lifted her legs and placed her feet back in their former position. This time, however, she crossed them at the ankles. Her left foot wiggled its toes in front of my face while her right foot slapped Princess Daisy across her lips.

I did a double-take when the princess wrapped her mouth around Her Highness’s dirty heel. First, no one’s mouth should ever open that wide. Second, why would she even participate in this nasty act? Someone with her ego should scoff at the idea of someone else’s dirty foot in their mouth. But on the contrary, she appeared pretty unphased by the ordeal. While I sat undergoing a slow and gruelling cleaning of Her Highness’s feet, Princess Daisy was set in overdrive. Hearing her slurp on that foot was like listening to a blender. And this was the bravest moment I’d ever seen from her, as she had her complete tongue working on the foot at prima speed. Fascinating in a way.

Did Princess Daisy like this at all? No, it couldn’t be. She wasn’t moaning or doing anything to suggest she enjoyed it. Maybe when she had to work, she just put full effort into it. As she went up and down Her Highness’s wide sole, I still focused on cleaning the toes. Ugh, so much dirt occupied them.

“This is a wonderful start to a morning, isn’t it, Toadette?” Her Highness asked.

I shrugged my shoulders, swallowing a bit of sand. “Yes, Your Highness.”

Princess Daisy chuckled, licking between Her Highness’s toes. “Please, she’d rather be at my feet than your ugly things any day of the week. Bet on it.”

Was this clown trying to get me killed? I had no intention of drawing a line between the two princesses. Just give me my pay, and I’d be good.

Her Highness yanked her foot out of my mouth and pushed the top of it into my cap. This led to her heel hovering right in front of my nose, albeit a small distance away. The scent was non-existent, truth be told. I’d expected her feet to smell like some nasty corn chips, but no, it was just very earthly at most. You’d have to try to find a heavy scent.

“You really think that your putrid feet hold a candle to my giant beauties?”

“Ask Toadette. This girl loves her some smelly toes.”

Uh, could I get a say in this? A lot of assumptions being made here without my input.

Her Highness returned her foot back down to my mouth.

“Perhaps we’ll have to test that theory before you go back to Sarasaland.”

“You know I won’t take ‘no’ for an answer.”

Yeah, sure, add more to the list of stuff I’m trying to avoid. I could barely handle one of them at a time, let alone two. Who knows? In the days to come, Her Highness or Princess Daisy would forget about their little experiment if it went unmentioned. Fingers crossed that that would happen.

“Ta-da!”

What the? That fast!? Her Highness’s right foot was completely soaked, with Princess Daisy licking her lips. What in the hell was she made of?

While I took my time working on the left foot, the princess slammed into my side.

“Let’s pick up the pace, why don’t we?”

Well, now we both had the task of licking Her Highness’s left foot. I still took care of the top half, but Princess Daisy concentrated on the bottom. If she was trying to light a fire under my butt, mission failed. My speed plunged into snail-tier levels. Sorry, but my tongue was in no rush to accidentally bump into hers.

Taking a break from Her Highness’s toes, I descended to the ball of her foot. A simpler matter, for sure. So long as my lips kept a tight suction on the ball, Princess Daisy’s mouth wouldn’t be a concern at all. But unfortunately, things couldn’t be so simple, could they?

The dirt here clung on worse than the dirt covering the toes. Seventy tongue swirls later, and only then did it loosen up. The wet dirt dripped down Her Highness’s foot and onto Princess Daisy’s lips, who was busy sucking on the heel.

Before I could react, she took hold of my cheeks. “Finish up on those toes, Toadette!”

Immediately, three of Her Highness’s toes busted through my lips. The other two didn’t play nice either. They had a love for pinching my cheek. And the three toes in my mouth took up so much room, they blocked my tongue’s movement. It was a sitting duck!

Nevertheless, Her Highness began moving her toes within my mouth, effectively turning me into a stationary foot-wash machine.

The intense pressure forced tears to trickle down my face. Believe it or not, things only amplified from there. On the right side of me, something wiped across my lips. It couldn’t have been the toes since the texture was too soft and spongy.

Well, I took a little peek and saw Princess Daisy’s wet lips licking between the other two toes. Her tongue would hit my mouth in the process. EW!! And because her head was now behind Her Highness’s feet, when that tongue jabbed straight into me, it looked like she was kissing me. Where’s the bottle of cleanser when you need it?

What felt like an eternity started to end when Miss Sarasaland backed off, leaving me choking on those dirty toes. Although, she at least had the courtesy of pulling my head back. That left a thin trail of saliva between my lips and Her Highness’s big toe, which flexed back and forth.

Her Highness shook her head, still smiling. “Always a show-off, aren’t you?”

“You say it like it’s a bad thing.”

Princess Daisy pushed Her Highness’s feet into the deep bathwater, wiping her hands together.

“Now, you get yourself prettied up while I take little Toadette with me.”

To see someone talk so casually to Her Highness was something to behold. Especially given that this princess seemed to have no objections to sharing her true thoughts. Then again, could a princess give another princess consequences at all?

She dragged me down the stairs, not even giving Her Highness the opportunity to object. That’s not where she stopped either, continuing to yank me into the hallway outside of Her Highness’s room.

Once I regained some balance, I wiped my tongue on my shirt. Who would’ve thought childhood habits would become a regular trait for me again? And worse of all, crunchy dirt bits managed to slide between my teeth. So nasty!

Princess Daisy smirked. “So, I guess you both won and lost that bet we had, huh?” I nodded, picking at my teeth. I didn’t even want to see if they’d been blackened or grey-end or whatever. Pearly white is all I could hope for.

Chapter Text

Princess Daisy laughed the whole trip to the ground floor. Great, my suffering was just another comedy routine for this woman.

“Hey, I feel your pain, shorty. It’s way more fun to be on the receiving end of foot worship.”

I quivered. “Maybe it’s possible that both sides are awful.”

The ground level had yet to fill to the total capacity. Judging from what little I knew, it would only become full around the afternoon. So, aside from the Toads chattering about, guess who was also there? Her Highness’s spawn.

I should’ve remembered from last night that she’d be coming. Just great. On the positive side, at least she was fully dressed today. A shirt, shorts, shoes, a backpack. Anything was an improvement over a girl walking through town in a swimsuit.

Or so I thought. One more scan of her outfit made me slap my face.

“What are those?”

“What’s what?”

I pointed right at her feet. How in the world did she think flip-flops were an excellent idea to bring to an ice-cold sewer system? How was ANY of that clothing going to help her down there? So much of her skin was left exposed.

“Get some warmer clothes, or you can’t come, got it?”

She folded her arms. “I’m not changing my—”

“You wanna end up like your non-aunt over there? Change or stay!”

The girl groaned and shoved past me. Trust me, once she entered those sewers, she’d learn that I just wanted to save her butt.

“Where was that tough girl energy in the club when we needed it?” Princess Daisy asked, tugging on my braid.

“Kept under wraps like it should be. I haven’t had to act like that in…”

When was the last time I ever had to act like that? Jeez, that must’ve been so long ago. Maybe around that time we moved.

OH! Penelope came back. Or I had my head in memory lane for too long. I digress. Her outfit here fit much better with where we were meant to go. She’d wrapped a sweater around her waist that she could throw on at any point. Jeans covered her legs, so no need to worry about those giving way. And as for her feet, they were out of sight and snuggled in sneakers.

She tapped her foot. “Is this better?”

“The most normal I’ve ever seen you dressed.”

With all the walking we’d have to do in the sewers, pacing myself was of utmost priority. So, rather than spend the whole day on foot, we would rely on one of the world’s great inventions: public transport. The blue and red bus proudly pulled up in front of the castle’s bus stop, the smell of exhaust filling my lungs. Once the doors slid open, passengers flooded out the bus like scatter-brained flies. It took 23 seconds before we even got a chance to step into the vehicle.

Gripping Penelope’s arm, I immediately targeted the back of the bus. Always the best spot to sit, let’s admit. To my horror, despite the large crowd of people who exited, this bus was still jam-packed with people. Standing, sitting, it didn’t matter. Trying to reach the back to see if there were any available seats was rustling through trees and plants in a crowded jungle.

“You’re gonna rip my arm off!”

Ah, that brought me back to when I told my mother the same thing in public. As soon as we made it to the back, I claimed the few accessible seats there were. Three right next to each other, thankfully enough. After settling in our seats, Penelope yanked her arm back, rubbing it. Typical kid stuff she was pulling here, pretending like I really hurt her. If only she understood that I was once a kid. All the tricks, yeah, I was the one who mastered them.

Both the royals sandwiched me, and across from us sat a family of humans. Brown hair, light skin. Must’ve been tourists from some other place. Outside of Princess Peach and her apparent daughter, humans living in Toad Town was a rarity.

The last bus incident made me really conscious about taking off my shoes in public, now. But these flats were getting so tight on my feet. Constricting my toe movement, making it difficult for my soles to breathe. Ultimately, I had to at least dangle them off my toes. Such a mundane action couldn’t attract any undue attention.

Just as I believed I was golden, Penelope swiped my shoe and began rubbing the top of my stockinged foot.

“Ew. You like these things, Miss Toadette?”

“They’re a bit of a pain to put on every morning, but yeah. Something wrong with them?”

Now she ran her fingers across the bottom of my foot.

“They’re too slippery to walk around in.”

Princess Daisy shook her head. “If you’re walking everywhere with them, that’s mistake number one, Penny.”

Stockings never gave me issues. How could they give royals? The things take some getting used to on smooth floors. Maybe I busted my ass one or two times. But once you get the hang of it, jumping around in them is a piece of cake.

“They’re better than socks,” I said. “On top of that—"

SPLAT!

What the hell? The kid across from me shot a spitball at my cap! Once I made eye contact with him, he peeled into a fit of laughter. But... ugh, just let it slide. No use beating up a kid on the bus.

Picking up where I left off, “I like that they always cover my whole leg—”

SPLAT!!

Mess with me once, I’m mad. Mess with me twice, I’m furious. Now that I actively focused on the boy, his shirt said everything I needed to know about him. Mushroom City. Of course, he was from that nightmare of a city. Furthermore, his mother sat doing nothing about this blatant disrespect.

My teeth ground against each other. “Can you cut that out, please?”

“Make me, bitch.”

Adding insult to injury, the boy stuck his middle finger up. Natural instincts took over, and I swung at him. If only my first made contact, he would’ve been in for a world of pain. But the oh-so kind princess held me like I was a stubborn child.

“Hold on, hold on. Can’t have you getting arrested for fighting a kid, now.”

She loomed over the little brat. “Hey, little boy, didn’t she just ask you to stop?”

He ripped another piece of paper and crumpled it. Then, placing it in straw again, he spat at Penelope’s face. Wow. He was either very stupid or had some big balls.

While I swatted it off her cheek, she growled at this boy. His response? A cheeky little grin back. Before he could ball up another paper, Princess Daisy plucked the straw out his dirty mouth and backhanded him in the nose.

“Hmph! Rude way to address Sarasaland’s leader, don’tcha think?”

Immediately, the boy’s mother dropped her newspaper and bowed to the princess. She had her hands together and everything. Where was this energy when I was getting spat on by her demon spawn?

She cried out, “Your Highness, I apologise for my son’s behaviour.”

“I’d believe you if you stepped in when he spat on my assistant there. Or when he called her a bitch.”

Princess Daisy stomped the heels of her sneakers in, lifting her socked feet out of them. And as the mother fumbled coming up with excuses, the princess sat back in her seat, peeling her socks off.

“If you wanna let your son act like an animal, that’s fine by me. On your knees, boy!”

The whole bus’s attention was drawn to the back. Even the driver couldn’t keep his concentration on the road. Between the princess’s yelling and the endless eyes locked onto us, I couldn’t tell what was more nerve-wracking.

The mother jerked her son on the floor. Princess Daisy chuckled, shoving her big toe in the boy’s mouth. Seriously, on the bus!?

“Enjoy licking my feet for the rest of your ride. Mom, you can give my assistant the same treatment.”

“No, no, that’s okay,” I said. Being a spectator was perfectly fine.

“Lucky you. You can handle my left foot, then.”

The boy’s tongue worked around the bottom of the princess’s foot. Hopefully, it wasn’t too sweaty since we hadn’t been out that long. No, what am I saying? It better have been as sweaty as possible, just to squick him out. Maybe, just maybe, he’d get a clue of how I felt from his spitballs. Heh, now hearing him groan sent a cathartic shock up my spine.

Princess Daisy was sure getting a kick out of it. “In between the toes. Come on, get it where it’s nice and tasty.”

While her toes absolutely violated the boy’s tongue, the mother had her face slapped by the princess’s other foot. Following that, the heel pushed itself deeply into her mouth. Oof, must’ve been real difficult for her to breathe with that blocking her. But that was karma for being a terrible parent.

As if this wasn’t enough, Penelope also decided to join in the action. The girl hopped out of her seat and held her foot up to the mother. By the way, her shoe was still firmly on her foot.

“Lick.”

Damn. How revolting it must have felt to be licking the bottom of a girl’s shoes. Those shoes had a distinctly worn look to them, so no, the soles were not clean. Well, not yet. The mother’s tongue in the first lick already had some sludge on it.

Princess Daisy moved her left foot in front of the boy’s face, giving him ten toes to focus on.

“Now, I think you owe my assistant her due apology, don’t you, brat?”

He muttered the most pathetic “I’m sorry” I’d heard in a while. But if he wanted to play so badly, Toadette here would indulge him. I gave Princess Daisy’s arm a poke.

“Doesn’t sound sincere to me. Maybe you oughta make him suck all your toes, just to be sure.”

She chuckled. “Absolutely. Care to do the honours?”

Did that even need to be asked? I took ahold of the boy’s head and drove it towards the princess’s scrunching toes.

“Bon appetite!”

First, the big toe charged into the boy’s puny mouth. Then, in an instant, the rest of the princess’s toes followed their leader. He sat so helplessly at the mercy of the princess’s nasty feet. And there I was, bobbing his head back and forth like he was doing another dirty activity. A tad too humiliating? Perhaps, but sometimes you gotta embarrass kids to get them to learn a lesson.

Back on the mother, she practically had a third of Penelope’s shoe in her mouth. Now that was an impressive feat. Looked painful as well, what with her eyes watering and face going red. Princess Daisy gave a round of applause.
 
“Why stop there? Take your shoes off, Penny. Let’s give ’em both eight feet to worship toget—”

The princess fell into a handrailing accompanied by a loud screech. The bus swayed backwards, then the metal slowly creaked back to neutral.

A ding ringed through the bus, followed by the automated voice going, “We’ve arrived at the northern entrance of central Toad Town.”

“Time to go,” I said, fixing my flat back on my foot.

Penelope yanked her shoe out the woman’s mouth. “Aw, it was just getting fun.”

Before she disembarked, Princess Daisy gave the boy a final slap with her wet foot.

“Even if I’m not around, just know I’m always watching, boy.”

The moment we stepped off the bus, it pulled off without hesitation. Hmm… Would they ban me from that bus next time? Wouldn’t be my first banning, no siree.

Before going off, I said to the princess, “Thank you for that.”

“If that kid grew up in Sarasaland, he wouldn’t even dare to pull something like that. You guys are slipping up here.”

“Don’t confuse Toad Town citizens for Mushroom City scum. We’re two different breeds.”

Now, before we headed off to Toad Town Tunnels, we had to make a stop somewhere. What use was going back down there if we had no hammers? That girl better had not sold them off.

Chapter Text

“Why didn’t you tell me you were bringing a princess in my store?”

Sorting through all of Minh’s tools was like going through a child’s dirty laundry pile. So many things that shouldn’t be scattered in a utility closet barely missed slicing me. First, a machete. Then a pocketknife. After that, a goddamned saw.

“Because we’re not here to stop and chit-chat. And how the hell haven’t you ever cut yourself in this mess?”

Carelessly flinging items at me, she said, “So long as the blade’s not pointing at you, it ain’t dangerous.”

Prodding through this pile for the feel of a single hammer had the same difficulty as finding a needle in a haystack. The difference? The hay couldn’t jab right into you. Despite this survival challenge, Minh couldn’t care less about keeping me safe. She came a finger’s length from piercing my heart with a hook.

“So… You think that Princess Daisy would let me—”

“Lick her nasty feet? Yes, that sounds in-character.”

“What am I doing here, then?”

Minh zoomed past me and almost made me trip into the sharp pile. Sure, she couldn’t run a mile, but she could be fast whenever she wanted to be. Makes sense.

Her voice faded out in the other room. “Princess Daisy, do you mind I were to worship your feet, ma’am?”

“Wow, now we got Toads offering themselves up to me.”

While this clown was on her knees praying, I lugged two silver hammers into the main shop area. Of course, leave me doing the heavy work. A staple of our relationship, really.

“I appreciate your submissiveness, Flower Toad. But I kinda had a thing on the bus already, and I can’t have my feet over-worshipped now.”

I cleared my throat. “And like I said, we’re not here to just sit and chat.”

Besides, if Minh was so into feet, it wasn’t like anything stopped her from doing stuff with her own. Come to think of it, is that what she ever did in the past? She wasn’t the purest girl in school, but nobody would be dumb enough to entertain her foot thing, right? Otherwise, I had some questionable classmates.

The princess pointed to me. “You can go have fun with Toadette over there.”

“Not funny!”

Minh’s neck snapped back at me, her body following suit. Sorry to break her heart, but she wasn’t getting another piece of me. My body pumped itself to push her off me if need be.

“If you’re gonna offer anyone up, make it the rich girl who likes this stuff.”

This whole time, Penelope played on that video game thing. Wholly immersed in it, if her giant, wide irises were any indication. Lying flat on her stomach, her feet swayed back and forth.

Minh smacked her lips. “She’s a cutie, so I ain’t complaining.”

Being the pervert she was, she pounced for Penelope’s legs and yanked her shoes off. The girl didn’t give a strong reaction, surprisingly. I swear that game had control over her mind or something. Maybe games could sedate people.

Shaking my head, I crashed against the counter. This was gonna take a while.

After stripping her of her socks, Minh wiggled her skinny fingers across Penelope’s soles.

“Ya ticklish?”

Penelope burst into a peal of laughter, sending her device to fall out her hands. This put a massive grin on Minh’s face, and she started digging in between the girl’s toes. And wow, her dodgeball abilities came into play, for Penelope never kicked Minh.

“Aw, come here!”

Now Minh gave a nibble on Penelope’s foot. The laughter only rose from here, and Minh didn’t let up. She really enjoyed rubbing her fingers along the wrinkles of the girl’s soles.

“See, why can’t you be that enthusiastic, Toadette?” asked Princess Daisy, who sat above me on the counter.

“Because I’m not interested in dirty feet. Like a sane person.”

The princess put her dangling shoe near my mouth. “Get used to it, it’s part of your job. Better be taking some notes, ‘cause Flower Girl here’s a real pro at her game.”

Minh’s tongue travelled across Penelope’s chubby soles like she was licking a giant ice-cream cone. After each lick, she’d let out a moan as if it were delicious. Penelope’s laughter died down from the tickling, but the smile on her face was still there. Whether it be from her game or my friend drenching her feet was up to you to decide.

“Can you wiggle your toes?”

Penelope obliged like a loyal dog, moving her toes around as they entered Minh’s mouth.

Princess Daisy said, “See, that’s one of the nicest-feeling ways to clean someone’s toe-area if they’re filthy.”

“And if they’re not?” I proposed.

“Feels wonderful regardless. It’s not all about cleaning the feet, ya know.”

Not all about cleaning the feet? Hmm… So far, the only feet I’ve actually had to clean were Penelope’s the first day I met her. Every other time, the feet may have stunk or been sweaty, but they weren’t dirty. Well, if this foot licking game was all about feeling good, couldn’t a basic massage cover that. Get some oil, get some pillows, rub a little, and all is solved.

“Your feet taste so good, Miss… um…”

“Penelope. And don’t say Miss, that’s all weird.”

Minh backed out of the girl’s wet soles, panting with her tongue drooping. A second later, she pecked her feet with a flurry of kisses. Eventually, the kisses turned into pure toe-sucking. That would have been tame on its own, but Minh’s hand dropped on the girl’s butt. Not a light, accidental tap.

To step in or not to step in?

Yeah, enough was enough. If somebody didn’t stop her now, we’d be sitting here for an extra 24 hours. And nobody could predict what she’d do then. Penelope’s poor feet were probably numb at this rate.

“Alright, this was fun and all,” I said, picking Minh up. “But I prefer to get my work done early.”

“What work’s that?” Minh asked.

Penelope flipped over to grab her socks. “Finding Miss Daisy’s stolen stuff.”

“Expensive stolen stuff, let’s be clear. That’s not some fake gold we’re dealing with.”

Minh leapt behind the counter. “Gold?”

I nodded. “There’s a crown, there’s a soccer ball, and a bunch of her shoes are gone.”

What a bizarre list of items still. Why steal a bunch of shoes instead of something more valuable to a kingdom? Steal a document, steal a rare item or go all out and steal the princess herself. I mean, the last is a Mushroom Kingdom tradition at this point.

“You know what these guys look like?”

“They’re probably ugly. But no, Flower Girl, we got no idea.”

Minh leaned over the countertop. “Well, I think I saw someone walk past here with a crown an hour or two ago.”

The princess gripped Minh’s shoulders and shook her back and forth.

“You think? Where? Where?”

Oh no, this was not the way to go about handling this! I pulled the princess off Minh, giving my friend some room to compose herself.

My voice was stern. “You trying to give her a panic attack?”

We could’ve lost a valuable piece of information with the princess’s stunt.

After rapidly blinking, Minh scratched her head. “It was someone in silver. H-He went south of here.”

Well, this was a brain scratcher. South of the flower shop could lead into a variety of locations. He could be in the sewers, could’ve gone to Forever Forest or could be screwing around in the Playroom.

I held Minh’s hand. “Please tell me you got more than that.”

She shrugged. “I’m sorry. If it helps, it looked like he went straight south. Didn’t change direction. Maybe he took the train.”

The train? Wait. White clothing doesn’t make you as hot as when you wear darker stuff. I may have been grasping for straws to find a connection, but it would make sense that he would wear something bright in that scorching region.

“The sewers gotta wait. We're going to the damn desert,” I groaned.

Penelope scratched around her bag, and disappointment hit her face as hard as it did mine. “Aw, I didn’t bring a hat.”

“My type of land!”

Of course the princess gravitated to such a place. While Her Highness’s daughter and I dreaded our next location, she tugged on Minh’s hair like this was all fun and games.

“Hey, Toadette. We may as well take your gay buddy with us, too.”

Minh dove onto the floor, shouting in refusal to go. Ah, so our last visit to Dry Dry Desert was still burnt in her head. I pulled so many Pokey needles out her body that day.

The princess, chuckling, tapped on the counter. “Hey, you join our little team, and when we get my footwear back, I’ll lend you my second-most stinkiest pair. We’re talking over 10,000 hours spent trapped in those tight, platinum flats.”

As quickly as she dove, she sprung over the princess. “Let’s get a move on, Toadette.”

I sighed. “Mmm-hmm, great. Drag someone else along for the ride.”

Chapter Text

Taking the train from Toad Town to Mt Rugged wouldn’t cost us a huge amount of time. If luck was on our side, we’d be there within the hour.

A recurring theme, huh? Luck. Well, now we were gambling on when Minh was gonna get to this line with Her Highness’s daughter. The line was only getting shorter by the second. What was she doing back there?

The princess snapped her fingers. “Ah, it’s about time!”

Not even a second to react, I yelped at the impact this Toad left on my cap. My thing was pink, it shouldn’t be hard to avoid!

“Congrats on nearly costing us this ride, friend.”

“Sorry. You know I don’t travel lightly.”

She didn’t travel lightly? But she had on the same clothes as before, with nothing changed. Behind her, however, Penelope waddled like she was a little Bumpty. Ooh, that poor bag was on the verge of bursting.

As if the stars aligned, the four of us were the last to board this train. With a solo cabin, at that. Once settled in, the thunderous engine ignited, and this train set its course for Mt Rugged. Bumpy as the ride was, I couldn’t help but doze off. No vehicle did better at delivering a cosiness like a train.

Though I intended to catch some Z’s for a bit, feeling two heavy things on my lap interrupted those dreams. The princess’s socked feet scratched against my thigh.

“What’cha doin’? You can go back to sleep.”

“No, I’m good.”

The hell would she do with my mouth if I were sleeping? Not wanting to find out, I pinched myself for an energy boost. Across the seats was like staring into a mirror. Penelope’s feet sat on Minh’s lap, only she sucked on those toes like jawbreakers. At this rate, the girl’s feet would never get the chance to dry.

Princess Daisy poked my shoulder with her big toe. “How’d an anti-feet girl like you end up with a foot-fanatic like that?”

“Never knew she was a foot freak until a few days ago.”

Minh pulled Penelope’s wiggling toes out her mouth, scoffing. Her lips opened, but the princess cut her off.

“Flower Girl, where’d you get your little fetish from?”

Rubbing Penelope’s feet against the side of her face, she looked to the corner. Did this question require much thinking from her?

“I guess grade four. Kinda noticed it when the other kids did sit-ups, and I had to hold their feet. After—”

“Lemme take it from here,” Princess Daisy said. “You felt weird about those barefoot girls, a few years passed, and you learnt what your condition was. Now, hold on, you’re a grown woman desperate to grab feet at every chance you got.”

Penelope’s feet dropped onto the seat. All Minh could say was, “You’re smart, Princess.”

“Was that ever a secret?”

We started to cross into the desert lands if the air was an indicator. Dry. The plains of grass surrounding Toad Town were but a blip in the background, replaced with cacti, tumbleweeds and an endless sea of sand. Finally, the princess pulled her heavy feet off my lap. Yet bafflingly, she stripped her socks off. Then her sweater.

“Did you forget the last time you took—”

She put a finger on my lips, doing that ‘ssh’ noise. “This isn’t some frigid sewer. It’s a desert. I barefoot this all the time back home.”

On this boiling hot sand? Yeah right. By the time we end the day, her feet will probably be red and burdened by blisters.

Penelope began to lift her shirt, and I yelled, “Keep your stuff on!”

“If Miss Daisy’s doing it—”

The princess rolled her shirt above her belly button. “Nah, listen to the girl, Penny. I’m the experienced one here.”

Off the train we stepped, with Mt Rugged looming in the distance. What this mountain lacked in height it made up for in length and width. These thieves couldn’t have chosen a better location to make off to. Before we ascended the initial hill, I stopped the other three in their tracks.

“How about this? I take Penelope and search the west side of the mountain. You two can go on the opposite end.”

The princess put her hands on her hips. “Objection. I gotta stay with someone whose hands I can entrust my life in.”

“Also,” Minh grabbed Penelope’s shoulders. “The two of us have been gettin’ along real well, Toadette. We’ll be fine together.”

“Interesting,” I said.

WHOOSH!

With Penelope in hand, I bolted uphill and left a dust storm behind. Sorry, but Minh alone with Penelope sounded like the worst idea ever. Her horny tendencies sat at the bottom of the list of concerns. But I had to give them one message before we were too far.

“You know this area, Minh! If something happens, don’t hesitate to call me!”

Phew, far away from those two now. I could breathe a sigh of relief. Penelope looked like she’d been spinning in a tea-cup ride for hours.

“Alright, you’re in safe hands now, kid.”

“Your girlfriend is really nice.”

…To correct her or not to correct her? Eh, save that for later.

“Nice, but she can’t fight worth anything.”

At least leaving Minh with the princess meant someone in that pair-up could defend them a tad. And no, it wasn’t the Toad.

Now began our exploration of the western side of the mountain. Boy, this was a journey in itself. Did it always take 15 or 20 minutes to get to the westernmost point of Mt Rugged? The sun may as well have been the Angry Sun with how it wanted to sap my energy.

“Miss Toadette, are you melting?”

Melting!? I tugged on my face, attempting to restore it to normal. Except… it was already normal.

Boy, this heat fried my mind. Penelope’s eyes scrunched, and she pillaged through her black bag. Now I’d fallen to one knee, flicking sweat beads off my face.

What was this? Water?

“You can have some of mine,” Penelope offered.

Aw… it wasn’t right for me to take her drink. But, given my slowed nature, what choice did I have? A sip at most is what I took. I’d have to function off that for the rest of the trip if we were skipping Dry Dry Outpost.

Penelope chugged her water down like an animal, and I sprang to seal her lips. “Save that for later, ‘kay?”

For all I knew, the princess or Minh could be in the same situation I was in. Penelope’s concerns lay elsewhere. She pulled off a shoe, letting out a gentle sigh. Yeah, yeah, I got the hint. And if I let her go in only socks, imagine all the sand spurs that would cling to her. The image of that sent a shiver up my spine.

I hesitated, but told her, “Go barefoot if you want.”

The other shoe hit me smack in the face. Now her pinkish toes curled like there was no tomorrow, and a smile appeared on her face. Ooh… Maybe I should…

No, going barefoot was out of the question in these sands. The sweat may have been building up in my stockings, but it could bubble there until we got home to the castle. Airing them out here wouldn’t hurt, though.

Once my left flat dropped to the sand, Penelope’s smile quickly switched to a gagging expression.

“What now?” I asked.

“Your feet!”

Oh please. Pinpointing the scent of feet amongst the smell of this mountainous atmosphere was impossible. Surely she was overreacting.

“My feet smell fine, kid. Watch.”

My rear hit the sand and I brought my right leg up to my face. A flexible skill Minh sorely wished she had.

Sniff, sniff…

Blech! Okay, the girl had a point! My foot smelt like mouldy cheese, but I mean, it could be worse. Right? Amidst my urge to vomit, I forced a happy look on my face.

“Mmm! Smells delicious.”

Penelope glared at me like I was a clown. “Smelly feet are gross.”

“Tell that to the girl who sniffed your feet, ‘cause she only seems to adore nasty stuff.”

Penelope got up and pushed her sneaker in my face. The nasty insole, not the bottom.

“Smell that and tell me it’s horrible.”

“How ‘bout you do the same?” I took my flat and jammed it in the kids nose.

Her shoe smelt, well, like a sneaker. Definitely had a worn scent to it yet wasn’t quite as stinky as I expected. Odd. Now as for my flat, it must’ve had an overwhelming odour if my foot was anything to go by. Poor Penelope squealed like a baby to get away from my shoe, slapping my arms like that’d hurt me.

Alright, enough was enough. Simultaneously we fell back gasping for air, with Penelope’s face gaining a green hue. That got a heavy snicker out of me.

“Welcome to my job, kid.”

My foot entered its prison, with the stocking’s moisture becoming hot and steamy once again. If I’d known I’d be scaling a damn mountain, I’d have worn some flip-flops. Okay, that’s not the best footwear. But I had no boots, so…

Penelope fanned herself, regaining balance. “I mean, if I have stinky feet, it’s no big deal. But when someone else does, eck!”

Hypocrisy is a wonderful thing to value, no? Alright, our mission was a failure. Time to see if Minh or Princess Daisy made some progress.

I sighed. “Found nothing but a few coins over here. You got something?”

“Is it suspicious if people wear black hooded coats out here?”

“No, it’s completely normal for the folk here to wear— Yes, it’s suspicious.”

A rustling happened before Princess Daisy’s voice came through. The quality of the call began dropping like mad.

“Three of these weird… Gotta start running here. We can’t them forever, Toadette. Get a move on!”

I hung up. Who could we be dealing with here this time? The actual thieves or some other group interfering?

Chapter Text

Note to self: never expect a kid to keep up with you at full sprint. Penelope lagged like a sack of potatoes, and here I was zipping at a cheetah’s speed.

“Kid, I hate to say this, but you’re really weighing us down right now.”

Breathless, Penelope fell to my feet. “It’s hot. I’m tired… And your feet still smell like fish guts.”

“If you’d stayed home like I suggested, maybe you wouldn’t be dying out here.”

“Carry me.” She gave a half-hearted attempt to stick her arms up.

Considering she wasn’t much shorter than me, the true test was learning if I could lift her in the first place. Grabbing her by the waist accomplished nothing, nor did lifting under her arms. What the hell did she eat? Ugh, for all I knew, the princess and Minh were in some danger. And if the former died or suffered some severe injury, Her Highness would pin that on me. But damn it, all my ideas fizzled into dust. Except…

I kicked the moaning girl off my feet and bent down.

“Hop on my back.”

Now she sprung to life, crushing my back like how Mario crushes Yoshis.

“Thank you, Miss Toadette.”

She could thank me next time by simply not joining me. Now with this creature riding me, we made progress to the other side of the mountain. If climbing the mountain was only a mild hurdle on the west side, the east side was like walking up an endless hill. Gravity tried to keep me from reaching my destination but leaning forward kept us barely stable. Okay, now this footwear was uncomfortable. While the stockings prevented the flats from chafing my feet, the heat and pressure from walking uphill made them sizzle. And though the sweat wasn’t too extreme before, now water and sand flooded my shoes.

Time was running out! Now we were running through a field of endless Monty Moles. Not familiar with them? They love throwing rocks and teasing you. And boy, was I battered when we escaped that section. One got me right in the shoulder, eventually leading me to drop Penelope.

“That’s it, boulder! Walk!”

There it was, in perfect sight. The rickety bridge signified the end of the eastern mountainside. But where were those two? I looked up, down and all around. The only people in this area were myself and the kid.

Penelope smacked the sand out of her hair. “Miss Daisy’s probably tyin’ those guys up somewhere.”

“You got more faith in her than I do.”

Now the mountain descended into a roundabout stairwell of sorts. Just a few steps forward, and we’d be officially in Dry Dry Desert. That name alone takes all the moisture out of your mouth. And just as I thought things couldn’t get worse, we had a sandstorm in front of us. Ouch! The heat went from typical to sweltering. Imagine being baked in a giant oven while wearing two layers of clothing. Ooh, I was gonna leave here with a bad burn. Bet on it.

“There’s sand in my eyes!”

Unfortunately for Penelope, we were at the utter mercy of whatever weather this place wanted to throw at us. Wait! Through my squinted vision, something in the distance faded in and out. A tree? As I pulled us closer to the object, it was unmistakably one of this region’s long and tall palm trees. But around the base, there was something else.

“The enemies have arrived!”

Huh? After hearing that, three or four people pushed me into the sand. As they struggled to yank my jacket off, Penelope was shrieking like mad.

“Nice of you to join us.”

Whose voice was that? It sounded deep and demonic, and it was too far to be one of the people attacking me. I could barely see in front of me with this sandy air. Meanwhile, the voices on top of me babbled in an incoherent language. My wrists tightened together, and the same went for my legs.

Against the pressure of the storm, I opened my eyes. Five figures stood before us. Three were very tall, two were very short. Minh got their description right over the phone, as the only thing noteworthy was their black coats. Except for the one in the middle, that is. He had a white coat with a crown on his head.

Princess Daisy’s crown, no doubt! Except, did her crown typically come in silver?

“The short weirdos caught us from behind.”

Now that was her voice. If I looked to the right, the princess squirmed in the same restricted manner as me. Only she was on her stomach with her feet tied in the air. But the other two were gone as far as my eyes told me.

“Minh, you here?” I gritted my teeth as best I could to block all this sand from my mouth.

“Hot, injured n’ sweaty, but yep.”

Sorry, friend, but your mood-lightening attempts were in vain right now. The figure in white marched up to me with his hands behind his back.

His voice echoed through the sand land. “Now, I predicted Peach would send someone to assist Sarasaland’s ineffective ruler. But two Toads and her own child? Now that’s invigorating.”

Penelope yelled out, “Listen, mister. If you don’t untie us right—”

“You hear that, boys? The child’s got guts.”

He walked to Princess Daisy, sticking his shiny, red hand out. “A pleasure getting to know you for a short while, Princess Daisy. Don’t panic. I’ll personally assure that Sarasaland gains a superior leader after your passing.”

While the princess lunged at him, those bindings killed any attack she planned.

“Who even are you?” I demanded to know.

The man burst in laughter. “Trying to track us down was a mistake, little girl. You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes.”

With a snap of his fingers, two of his goons followed him off into the distance. Which direction? No idea, for the haze obscured everything that wasn’t three metres in front of me.

Left behind to patrol us were two of the shorter men. One carried a heavy-looking spear. The other held a platinum-coloured hammer, something you’d expect the Mario Bros. to be swinging around.

Penelope, whose voice came from behind me, squeaked out, “Miss Toadette, do something.”

“Like what? Why does everyone think I’m this master problem-solver?”

One of the guys kicked me in my side. The man with the mallet.

Just then, a sharp pain struck me in my side. The man with the mallet raised his voice.

“Enough, you miserable little mushroom. We’re deciding which one of you to finish first.”

The spear-wielder chimed in, “Coin flip, man. Plain and simple.”

“Yeah, you’re a real genius. Flip a coin where both sides are the same.”

Without a weapon of any kind to cut myself free, my options for survival dwindled. And hearing these two bicker about how they’d off us didn’t help matters.

While I brainstormed, Princess Daisy whispered, “Might be an inappropriate time to say this, but I could really use a foot worship right about now.”

Minh couldn’t stay silent on the matter, of course. “Right? I’m all smelly and sticky now.”

And third time’s the charm, with Her Highness’s daughter chiming in. “If someone could get this sand from between my toes, that’d help a little.”

Obviously that’s inappropriate! We were on the verge of dying, and they brought up their feet? As if anyone was thinking about “worshipping” their probably-smelly feet.

Alright, back to planning. Hmm… On second thought, maybe I deserved the title of Master Problem-Solver.

I looked at the two figures. “How about smelliest feet, you two?”

The man with the mallet went, “A suggestion? Glasses Toad, repeat yourself.”

“Simple. You two smell all our feet, and whoever’s stink the worst dies first. You can even spice it up and lick to see who has the nastiest.”

From my left, Minh cried out, “Aw, come on! So it takes you dying to let someone do this?”

The guards turned around, chattering again in their language. If they said yes to this proposal, we had no guarantee things would work out. My wrists may have been tied, but my fingers were crossed.

When they faced me again, the one with the spear said, “See, that girl knows how to set a killin’ order.”

Good, good. Now they walked over to Minh. Once I shut my eyes, my hearing was the only sense I needed to observe this. They slid Minh’s worn-out flip-flops off her feet, and the sand between her toes could be heard crunching.

“Why didn’t I wear my fresher flip-flops today?”

Okay, now there was reason to panic. As the guards sniffed and sucked on her feet, I envisioned how disgusting they must taste. Maybe there was some bad grime sticking to her heels. Or a patch of soil hidden underneath her wrinkles. Or perhaps that awful word I don’t want to say was between her toes, too.

Minh’s laughing ramped up, interrupted occasionally by coughing on the sand drifting through the air.

“They don’t have a scent.”

The mallet-wielder rose. “Nor a taste. She’ll be low on the execution list. Peach’s daughter, let’s go.”

Phew, that was close. Guess it had some truth behind it, though. Minh’s feet never really stunk badly, even in gym class. A miracle when her soles would be covered from heel to toe in dirt. The guards left her gasping, curling her audibly slimy toes now.

Between her puffs of air, she sighed, “Wow… Eat my toe jam, why don’t ya?”

Yuck, she said the word! Or words.

Now these idiots did their routine on Penelope. First, they sniffed at her feet, then licked them. Penelope giggled, but I picked up nervousness in her voice without question. Like her giggling was faked. One of the guards made a lip-smacking noise.

“These ain’t too bad now.”

“Smells like Shroom Cake.”

Alright, that was a vile lie. She roamed half of this mountain wearing sneakers with… Socks, of course. They’re the ultimate sweat and funk absorbers. On the plus side, it meant she was safe for now. Princess Daisy is where all hope in this plan succeeding disappeared. With her always proud about how stinky her feet are, I trembled in anticipation.

When they got to her, she scoffed and muttered, “No shame in bullying a princess, huh?”

“We’re doin’ your people a favour, Daisy.”

“Indeed,” the mallet-wielder said, smacking her feet. “Sarasalanders have enough problems as is. They don’t need a narcissist running their lives.”

Ruining lives, huh? Not something she mentioned to me about her outstanding leadership. Well, here it was. The moment I waited for. My eyes fought the sand to see what was going on entirely. And I gasped when I saw these figures at her feet. Their hoods didn’t come down or anything. Her big feet just vanished into black voids of nothingness as the sounds of smelling intensified.

The mallet-wielder gagged. “Two days stepping in trash is where these feet have been.”

Now the spear-wielder appeared to be licking her toes. “Sick! Saltier than the Toad bitch’s feet.”

He immediately got up and swung his spear at Princess Daisy’s neck. I let out a shrill scream.

“Let’s just cut her right now, my dude!”

The mallet-wielder used his weapon to knock the spear back. “Fair is fair. We sniff the nerdy Toad’s feet, then we can finish off the princess.”

Yes! Never have I been so happier to get my feet sniffed than now!

The spear-wielder marched over to me, grumbling. “Good. I’ve been waiting to use this thing proper for months now.”

They pulled off my flats, being welcomed by my curling toes. There was just one problem, though. You see, my stockings were still on my feet. Oh, what was a poor, helpless girl to do?

Licking my lips and raising my pitch, I went, “If you wanna play fair, rip my stockings off. I gotta be barefoot like the others, right?”

They tore the stockings open like they were nothing, and now the dry air peppered some sand onto my sweaty toes. The goons placed my feet within their hoods, and a light tickle met my feet.

“Holy—”

No, they’d better have kept going. I egged them on, splaying my toes about. “Lick ‘em, lick ‘em. Mmm…”

Feeling their tongues between my toes creeped me the hell out, but hearing them gag on them satisfied me equally. A few seconds in, and their bodies stopped moving. One still had my big toe wiggling in his mouth, along with sand, sweat and any other icky element.

“So, how were my feet?”

With no response, I squirmed my way over to pick up that spear. Thank the stars that the dude with the mallet didn’t leave me out of the equation.

Princess Daisy shook her head. “Unbelievable…”

While they must’ve been in shock, I was still chuckling like a little girl. “Thank the kid for reminding me how bad my feet can smell in these things.”

Side to side, a little more wiggling… SNAP! My hands were free! And with a careful slice, I released my legs from their bondage. After all this tension, the blood in my body began to settle and slow my adrenaline. First I cut the princess, then Penelope, and finally Minh.

Penelope picked up her bag and ran into my arms. You know, this comfort was well-needed. In my sizzling embrace, she asked, “Can you please put your shoes on, Miss Toadette?”

Heh, with pleasure. My stockings may have been ripped, but the shoes still beat traversing here barefoot. When I went to pick up my flats, Minh scooped them up. Oh no. She lifted the footwear up to her nose. Yet, just short of that, she smiled and tried to return them to me.

“Thanks for savin’ us and all with your um… smelly, warm, probably-sweaty feet.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “What the hell. Go ahead and sniff ‘em.”

Her face lit up like a Christmas tree and quickly disappeared in the insoles of my shoes. For each long sniff, Minh let out a long, broken moan. Kinda cute, kinda disturbing. Wasn’t too long before she began coughing again, though.

“Ooh, might have to save these for later, Toadette.”

Princess Daisy glanced at the horizon and slapped her forehead. “You gotta be kiddin’ me. In a couple minutes, we’re about to go from a baby sandstorm to a violent dust devil.”

This was what she considered babyish? Damn it all. And we had no idea where the other bad guys were anymore. Fortunately, I knew someone who could remedy this. The only question was if they would assist us. With the faint path in the sand being visible, east and west were now clear.

I pointed to the east, “Those two can wake up any minute now. Dry Dry Outpost should protect us for a bit.”

“We gotta get my crown back from that—”

“And we’re going to, princess.”

She put her hand on her hips, and admittedly, I put my hands up in defence. The hit didn’t come, though. What was going on?

“Drop the formality already. Cool people don’t gotta refer to me as Princess Daisy, got it?”

I nodded, thanking the princess. But dropping that respectful title would take some getting used to.

Chapter Text

For a tiny town, Dry Dry Outpost bustled with life. You had Dryites playing music, some trying to sell you stuff in the open, and Little Mousers scattering between all these stores. Sightseeing wasn’t our intention, however. Right now, we sat in a restaurant eating a bit of Dried Pasta. Crunchy, bitter, but beggars can’t be choosers.

Princess Daisy… I mean, Daisy had her sandy feet between Minh and myself.

“Go to Birabuto and they’ll teach you to appreciate the sand kissing your soles.”

“This isn’t Budobudo Land though,” I said.

Penelope put her feet on the table for all the see. Calling her soles red would be an understatement.

“An A for effort?”

Both us Toads winced in unison. When the foot freak notices something’s off, you know there’s a problem. Daisy caught a glimpse of those things and laughed.

“They still gotta adjust to the heat.”

Minh poked Penelope’s dry sole. “Looks painful…”

After sipping some water, I rose from the table. “Minh and I’ll be back.”

“Be back?” Daisy asked.

I nodded. “It shouldn’t be long. Thirty minutes, alright?”

Even though I couldn’t guarantee that this lady would help us, it was still worth a shot. So long as I played my hand right though, things would work out.

Minh didn’t share that confidence. As we walked the streets, she tugged my arm. “Can’t we be spending our time with something a wee bit more productive?”

“I’m about to crack some info out a witch lady. Last time I checked, that’s productive.”

Looking down, she said, “I don’t want you to stress yourself.”

Stress myself? Despite all that’s happened to me, this was the most interesting my life had been in a while.

We squeezed behind two long buildings, ducking underneath the various spiderwebs. As we emerged into the light, a turn to the left brought us to a violet tent. Within this tent stood a variety of artefacts. Skull-shaped pots decorated the little place along with Star Pieces, very ancient desert relics and small cards scattered about.

Sitting atop a stack of books, and with one open in her hands, was the main lady herself.

“Merlee, long time no see.”

Not even a response to my greeting, huh? When Minh followed up with a wave, she returned the gesture.

“Hello, my dear Minh. Seeing you always fills me with glee.”

Wha? So she got respect but I couldn’t? Now I stomped closer to this magic lady, saying, “Where’s my greeting, huh?”

Suddenly, a countdown appeared over my head. It started with the number XII, whatever that meant.

“Did I not make it clear the last time we met? If you came here again, I’d consider you a threat.”

Now the symbol changed to XI. Wait, does that mean it’s rising or dropping?

“What’s with the number?” I asked.

“Oh, when the number hits zero, it’ll be brutally painful. I might’ve felt bad if you weren’t so disdainful.”

Whatever pain she stored for me didn’t need to be unleashed. But damn it all, why couldn’t anything just be simple today? What happened between us took place four years ago. I was 15. Give me a break.

As the counter switched to VIII, Minh pointed, “That means eight.”

“I’m just asking for a quick favour. You can’t hook me up or something?”

Merlee snapped her fingers, and now the counter dropped to IV. Okay, I knew what that meant! And that’s not how that’s supposed to work!

“Anything, you claim? Clearly nothing more than another game.”

Enough of the rhymes. My hands and knees struck the floor, and I bowed before this manipulator. Swallowing my dignity, I put my hands together and begged.

“Okay! I’m sorry for trying to steal your cards back when! Happy? Just let me make it up to you! Don’t be unreasonable!”

The ding signified the number dropping to III. As I clenched onto my head, a wispy sound bounced from side to side. The symbol remained at III instead of dropping to II or even I.

Merlee set her book down and said, “I’m taking a look into your mind. Perhaps I’ll be surprised at the fears I find.”

Fears? Immediately, she pulled the bottom of her robe up. Whoa, who knew she was this pale? Ignoring that detail, now I got what she meant by fears. This lady had pure witch feet. Pointed toes that wiggled abnormally topped off with black polish.

“Are you trying to put a hex on me with your toes?”

“I don’t know, you lout. Adore them and find out.”

Well, it wouldn’t be the first time I did this nonsense. The few experiences I had should’ve taught me something about this by now. I crawled in front of Merlee’s feet to give her big toe a kiss. Then again, and again. In line with her feet looking milky, they were surprisingly soft. Honestly, they could give Penelope’s a run for their money.

Behind me, Minh whispered, “I wanna kiss you, Merlee…”

Trust me, if we could switch places, I’d do it in a heartbeat. The next step in this weird worship process was licking the tops of Merlee’s feet. At least those could be guaranteed clean. Her toes tapped against the carpet as she hummed.

“Minh, here’s a treat. While Toadette slaves away, you can worship her feet.”

“I don’t agree to—”

Merlee forced my nose between her pointed toes. “I care not for your consent. Focus on absorbing my scent.”

A single whiff of her foot made my face crinkle. How to describe it? It smelt like a regular foot, but almost like a foot that had been unwashed for days. Upon seeing the bottom of it, maybe there was some truth to that. Merlee’s feet were by far the dirtiest pair I had in my face up to now. Penelope’s on the second day may have been a tad sandy from the castle’s garden, but these were in their own league. Blackened with grime, covered in sand bits, possibly some tar or something between her toes. This magician was intent on making this day a living Hell.

As I dealt with a stinky foot I had to pretend to love, Minh had already stripped my shoes off. And without stockings blocking anything, she took a long lick from my toes to my heel. A few seconds passed, and she lifted my legs up. The next thing I knew, my toes were getting wetter and wetter.

Her sucking my toes led me to suck on Merlee’s big toe. Well, I sucked it like a lollypop that has that flavour you can’t stand. With my tongue painting this toe in saliva, Merlee folded her arms.

“The taste, what do you think?”

Resisting the urge to spit out the dirt in my mouth, I mumbled, “Nasty.”

DING!

The countdown dropped to II.

“Like candy! Oh, Merlee, you have the best-tasting toes I’ve ever had in my mouth. They make my tastebuds dance. And the smell…”

I smelt her arch again, cringing but fighting to maintain composure.

“Your feet smell so natural. In a good way, a good way!”

She jammed her toes back in my mouth, cackling. “Ah, it takes minimal effort for me to make them stink.”

Speaking of stinky feet, Minh’s nose skimmed my soles back and forth. You thought she was aroused by my shoes last time? That was just a sneak preview. Here, her moans were not only louder, but the girl went from moaning to whimpering. That’s something she typically reserved for when she was getting off to pornos and other tasteless stuff. While sucking Merlee’s toes, I glimpsed back to confirm my suspicions. Nope. Minh still had her clothes on, and her hands weren’t on her crotch or breasts.

Merlee pulled her feet out my mouth and said, “Suckle on my heel.”

Okay, this wasn’t something I did much up to now. Angling her feet in my mouth proved to be a challenge. But with a simple position swap of being under her feet, one of her heels sank into my mouth.

“I hope you’re enjoying your meal.”

No, I was not. This so-called meal was dry, bitter and a tad salty.

As my feet turned right-side-up, Minh locked onto them and started to lick their sides. That whimpering continued, and now it made me uncomfortable.

She let out a little, “You’re so sweaty,” before licking between my toes. Gross. So while one freak licked my clammy feet, another freak had me cleaning her feet. Are you kidding me?

“On your feet. I’ve something neat.”

Finally, this had better have been over soon. Her sour feet numbed my lips and tongue. When I got up, Minh followed suit. Then, disgustingly enough, she had the nerve to lick her fingers after touching my soles.

“Whatever it is, can I have it too, Madam Merlee?”

Merlee rubbed her still-filthy soles together, laughing behind that dark hood. “Anything for you, my dear. Know that YOU have nothing to fear.”

Really? So, what did I have to fear?

SMACK!

Damn, right in the vag! I hit the floor screaming a series of expletives. Ah… And people think it only hurts guys when they’re hit down here!

Writhing in pain, paying attention to those two became a low priority. What I believe I heard was Minh either licking Merlee’s feet or getting her vagina rubbed. It was a very moist sound, put it like that. For all I knew, she did both.

“Okay, Toadette, I shall grant you one request. Make it snappy before I go and take a rest.”

Yes! Now was my chance. Still holding myself with spurts of heavy breathing, I made the request. “We’re hunting the guys who stole Princess Daisy’s materials. Sarasaland princess. I want to know where they’re planning to go.”

Merlee shook her head. “You know well that predictions are not my strongest power. So why not go to my grandfather if you’re so desperate this hour?”

“‘Cause I’ve been trying that for the past year, and all he says is, ‘Merlon is out!’”

Yeah, if I were to give the rundown of this family, it’d make your head spin. Right now, only Merlee and her sister Merluvlee could be of use to us. The latter was skilled at finding specific objects, but not if they were constantly on the move. Undoubtedly a tactic these thieves could take advantage of.

Merlee did some magic mumbo jumbo with her cards. This temporarily darkened the area before sunlight brought us back to reality.

“As the sun sets, the figures will be in a maze. Located in the northern region of this heat haze.”

That simple? Well, it was progress regardless. Dry Dry Ruins. Why would they be going there, though?

“Thank you very much,” I said, bowing out of the area. While walking off, a faint smooch happened and Minh caught up with me, smacking her lips.

“She’s so sweet. Didn’t expect her mouth to taste like grape.”

Ew. Just ew. So, now the plan was to wait until it hit around 7. In the meantime, nothing forced us to just sit around for the remaining time. My body could use a little fun. So, I dropped a few coins in Minh’s hand.

“Go rent us an inn room. For the love of the Star Spirits, make sure it’s got a bathroom IN the room.”

“And what then until we go to the Ruins?”

I cracked my knuckles on both hands. “Don’t know about you, but I can go for a quick work-out.”

Chapter Text

This inn room made mine at the castle look gargantuan. Instead of a giant bed, they gave us two small ones. Rather than having a modern TV, we were left with one of those old clunkers. The only saving grace was the air conditioning, and even getting that to activate was like defusing a bomb.

In the three hours since we checked in, we rinsed ourselves up, and the two royals got to relaxing. Princess Daisy scrolled endlessly through TV channels while Penelope sat playing on her game thingy. Though Minh locked herself in the bathroom, with only the sound of sprinkling water making its way to me. Oh, I’d been doing all kinds of activities. Lunges, neck stretches, squats, and even some curl-ups. You know that energy you get from the burn of working out? Euphoria, I believe it’s called. That filled me from head to toe.

The princess chucked the remote at my head. “You got hyper issues? How are you not tired from all that moving around?”

“Who says I don’t get tired?”

“Most sane people don’t work out straight for two hours.”

Dropping to a push-up position, I admitted, “They always said I had unlimited stamina.”

SQUEAK!

The downside to all this working out was my body’s reproduction of sweat. Luckily, without the footwear choking my soles, having stinky feet wouldn’t be a repeat issue.

“Mother said all Toads have weak arms,” Penelope chimed in, still tapping away at her game device.

The princess added, “I was under the same impression.”

Not to brag to these higher-status individuals, but did I look like other Toads? My muscles tightened. After taking a breath, I shot into a vertical position. While my hands kept me stable, my legs were free to sway as they pleased.

I scoffed. “Stereotyping Toads must be a fun pastime for you humans.”

THUD!

My arms finally gave way. Alright, alright. Maybe a short break wouldn’t hurt.

Creaking from behind, the bathroom door made way for Minh to exit. Dressed in nothing but a bra and panties, of course. Not what I’d pick with a child in the room, but given all the craziness Penelope went through, this was tame. The perky Toad skipped right in front of me. And oh, what a pleasant surprise. For the second time since I’ve started this wacky job, her feet weren’t smothered in filth.

She wiggled her pink-painted toes. “Still working out?”

“Just taking a break now,” I moaned.

“Remember, you got a friend always willin’ to massage you. Hint, hint.”

What was there to lose? If she got freaky with my feet, it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had them violated. I gave Minh a thumbs up. Suddenly, something heavy pushed into my back. Then another thing followed. W-Was she standing on me?

“You know what to say if I hurt you.”

“Will you get off my—”

My head immediately dropped as Minh’s toes pushed into my left shoulder. Before I could utter something, my lower back got some pressure from her foot. So, this is what it’s like to live life as a carpet. But, man, why was this so relaxing? No girl of her weight should be able to stand on me without it hurting like hell.

Oh! Her heels circled against my skin, then she started curling her toes. Come on, Toadette, hide any sounds of joy. Be appropriate. Damn, without the smut on her feet, they actually felt quite smooth. Minh’s feet had the firmness of the two princesses and the silkiness of Penelope’s.

Fuck, if she kept her feet clean 24/7, I’d kill for this sort of massage. Snuggling my head into my arms, any sounds I made fell deaf on this girl. Keep at it, Minh.

Daisy said, “I’m surprised she’s not screaming in pain.”

Minh’s movements ceased. “I’m not fat, Princess Daisy.”

“Didn’t say you were. Just talking from experience with prior slaves of mine.”

Come on, get back to the massa— There we go! The ball of her right foot put warm pressure against the back of my neck. Man, even my own toes wiggled at the treatment this Toad gave me.

Minh thankfully continued talking AS she walked all over me.

“And I’m just making it clear I’m skinny. I did this to someone in junior high. He survived.”

Penelope’s digits still clacked at her game device. “What’s a normal school like?”

“Oh, school was fun. You meet a whole lot of friends there. I mean, Toadette can confirm, right?”

“If one counts as a lot,” I murmured.

Daisy let out a yawn. “And on that note, wake me up whenever we’re about to leave.”

Minh switched to a new position, sitting on my butt. The weight may have been off my back, but her feet continued kneading my shoulders. I sighed, breathing softer and softer. Then she wanted me to flip over.

“What for?” I asked.

“Gotta get to the rest of you, don’t I?”

Well, I wasn’t gonna be stupid now. To my shock, the girl rested her feet on my face. No odour, thankfully. While her heels rubbed against my cheeks, Minh used her hands to rub my hips.

“If you two switched, I think you’d be knocked out, Miss Minh T.”

Minh snickered, shoving two of her toes into my nostrils. “I dunno. Sounds kinda hot.”

Within the following hours, she’d massaged me from top to bottom. I found myself having to fight the urge to sleep like Princess Daisy. And somehow, Minh managed all of that while keeping Penelope engaged. Guess that’s the skill you inherent when you’re a social butterfly.

“What’s the time?” I murmured.

“6:26. You think the Sun’s setting by now?”

I tapped Minh off me and walked to my bagged shoes. “Same time zone as Toad Town, yeah.”

My jacket could stay here. Deserts only ever get super cold at the dead of night. As for the others, they’d keep the same outfits on with which they walked here. Not like we all had much of a choice. So, that equalled two crazy barefoot royals and my friend wearing flip-flops.

My voice’s volume lowered. “Clearly, I’m the only one who cares about protecting my feet.”

Chapter Text

Returning to the desert without the sand in our eyes highlighted just how nice this barren land could look. Instead of boring yellow by itself, the orange and purple sunset gave some real life to this place. The silhouette of the ruins stood tall and proud at the horizon. But as we closed the distance, I caught a figure entering the structure.

“Hey!”

Disappearing into the black opening, at least he alerted us that these guys were here. But why would they be in the Dry Dry Ruins still? When I climbed the sixth or seventh step, I looked back to see Minh T. not budging an inch. Putting my hands on my hips gave her a jolt.

“What? I didn’t think it’d be that dark!”

I sighed in disbelief. “All those years in those Toad Town Tunnels, and you’re still scared of a little blackness?”

The princess shoved Minh to the side, stopping just short of me. “The two of us’ll go in, then.”

“Don’t forget me!”

Penelope scrambled up the stairs with that bag still weighing her down. Jeez, just toss the thing at this point. But the princess held the kid by her forehead, chuckling.

“I love your bravery, but maybe you should stay with Flower Girl. Who knows? Might be ghost creepin’ in—”

A glass-shattering scream erupted through the desert. Soon, Minh finally shut her mouth. Her skin got so pale she practically looked half-Boo. Now onto Penelope, where was her bravery here? No screaming, sure, but her eyes darted everywhere. Not to mention her trembling legs. However, that could’ve been from the heavy weight of the bag as well.

I pet her on the head. “Make sure she doesn’t have a heart attack.”

Once Daisy and I broke into the ruins, sounds from the outside world went mute. Only the sound of light wind vibrated these walls. And boy, these halls could use a technician or something. Strangely lit torches stood as the only things to brighten this brown path. Oh, and they highlighted the grimy coffins that have been here for who knows how long.

Ew, speaking of grimy, this floor needed a good sweeping. Sand? Check. Dirt? Check. Bugs? Unfortunately, check. So focused on the pests crawling about, my heart nearly burst feeling the princess’s foot rub upon my thigh.

“Regrettin’ wearing those shoes yet?”

I smacked her foot away. “No. I like not having bugs taking refuge under my toes.”

“You gotta get less rigid than that.”

The deeper we got in this beige maze, the weaker the oxygen levels got. On top of that, we were both wiping waves of sweat off our bodies. My armpits burnt two visible stains into my T-shirt. The less we talk about my feet, the better. Without stockings being my protectors, my feet felt muckier than ever against those insoles.

In an emptier room, the princess brushed her sole. “My foot’s getting pretty caked in dirt. Might need a tongue to help with that, Toadette.”

“Good. How about asking the dudes in front of us?” I gave a little point to the doorway ahead.

Two bluish Pokeys were homing in on us. Ugh, I always hated these assholes and their demented faces. Springing into action, Daisy threw a punch at the head of one of the cacti. Ooh, poor decision. That fist came back just as fast as she threw it.

“Guess it’s my turn,” I said.

As the Pokeys focused on Daisy with her weakened hand, I gave one of them a flying roundhouse kick to the head. Incidentally, this kick sent my flat into the air. Just had to grab it to give this last Pokey a nice whack in all four of its segments.

After that stylish finish, my foot filled that flat back up. And Daisy just got a Pokey spine out of her hand, growling.

I lifted my leg. “See why I don’t regret wearing shoes here?”

“Alright, smarty, that’s a different context. Just walkin’ around is no big deal.”

“I think since I just saved ya again, you oughta give my feet a lick,” I said. “I mean, the tops got a smudge of grime on ‘em.”

The princess got down on her knees, rolling her eyes. While she slurped the tops of my feet, a weird tingle shot up my spine again. This may have been gross, it may have been weird, but something satisfied me about a lady of her status doing something so lowly. I didn’t even leave it there, instead pulling out my toes and letting the big one enter Daisy’s mouth.

Immediately, she got up, wiping her lips.

“Remember, if you were anyone other Toad, I wouldn’t have done that.”

Whoo, that brief encounter injected a dose of confidence in me. We cruised through the next hallways like they were nothing. Every later Pokey we’d see met their fate at my footwear. Finishing off one of these beasts, both my flats fell off as I hit the ground. The princess held one to her face.

“For someone obsessed with being clean, your insoles look about as dirty as my worst shoes.”

Panting, I muttered, “You’re rich…”

Daisy sniffed my shoe, hurling it at my head and covering her nose. “What’s that got to do with it?”

“Try needing to wear the same shoes for six years.”

“Six years? Dang, you’ve worn these into the ground.”

Keeping my flats fresh smelling always proved to be a challenge. And now with me wearing them more often these days, the worst qualities of them shone brighter than ever. Not even a rat would want to sleep in them. But, they’ve become a part of me in a way.

When I stepped forward, a voice blasted through the ruins. Deep, yes. Echoey, yes. Suspicious, yes. The leader of those hooded brutes. Who else could it be?

“Ladies, if you’re interested in having a discussion about your objects, no need for violence.”

“Quit the mind games and tell us where you are!” the princess yelled.

“You’re in the process of descending the ruins. We can discuss business at the pit. But don’t keep us waiting.”

Interesting. Only now did I notice we’d been descending the ruins all this time. We weren’t even using the stairs much now; the floors subtly sloped down.

PLAT!

And this made my balance a bitch. Dimly lit corridors with a stupid incline. Who designed this place? I brushed myself off, only to hit the ground again. And again. And again. The princess, on the other hand, breezed by here without issue. Lemme guess. Her bare feet?

“Y’know, a lot of the streets in Chai are slanted like this. Part of why we don’t really like wearing shoes.”

Enough of the negativity, Toadette. Say something positive. Don’t be like Mommy.

“I’ll give you one thing. For a land of barefooters, your feet aren’t the ugliest I’ve seen.”

Daisy chuckled, wiggling her toes in front of my face. “Duh. ‘Cause we don’t encourage imprisoning our feet like you guys.”

Her toes wiggling, was that an invitation to suck on them? Sick, but… Maybe if I sucked the dirt off them, it’d make me look less pathetic. Nothing makes you look worse than constantly tripping, believe me. Plus, the movement was so… rhythmic. So I closed my eyes and got three of her toes in my mouth.

“Oh! What are you doing?”

Toes still in mouth, I said, “…Practising my skills?”

All went okay until I tried to get my tongue between her toes. Something, I don’t know what, crawled into my mouth. It got to the middle of my tongue when I spat into the air, groaning.

The princess got a laugh out of it, though. “If you’re eager to practise, maybe wait until we get back to that city.”

“Yeah, sorry.”

Really, I still couldn’t gain a grip on this walkway until we hit the next room. The sand-littered floor began to finally level out again. In this room stood five dry Chain Chomp statues, each with blank spots in their middles. Either they never had anything in them to begin with, or those bad guys stole something else.

“Where are these idiots? We’ve scoured this whole pyramid, ruin, whatever.” The princess leaned against a wall, catching her breath.

“They said the pit. Let’s keep going do—”

BOOM!!

Sand burst through the ceiling, and sizzling winds flooded the doorways. In a second, I went weightless as the floor broke beneath my feet. Then, along with the thunderous roaring, everything went pitch black.

Ow, my head…

Wait, where was the princess! The lack of light obscured any hint of her being here. Was I even in the same room? I prodded across the broken floor, touching the jagged edges of fallen debris.

Crying out for the princess hurt me with this salty air floating about. I repeated myself over and over, battling the pain.

“Right next to you.”

Another creak sounded, followed by another rainstorm of powder. Then that’s when I heard the crackling. Not the breaking of material, no. The soft yet intense crackling of flames. Sure enough, when I squinted up, there was a bright red fire about four metres above us. 

Flickering through the cracked ceiling, its light allowed me to make out Daisy. She didn’t look too banged up, but her waist and below sat firmly in a pile of sand surrounded by other bits of rubble. A banged up column pushed up against her back.

“Think you can get out?” I tugged on her arm.

“I can barely wiggle my toes, Toadette.”

What was the use in struggling? Hold on, we had a hope. I pulled up my phone, turning up the brightness to get a nice look at that signal bar. No connection. Slamming the device on the built-up sand, I slumped against the princess. This was it.

“What’s your plan now?”

 I said not a single word.

“You don’t know, huh?”

I shook my head. So caught up in this, I just realised how damaged my glasses were. They were not only covered in dust, but my right lens had a deep scratch from the fall.

…

Damn it! How do you navigate a collapsed ruin? No! How do you do it when there’s a fire above you, and probably below you? How did the place even come down on itself?

Daisy poked my neck. “Look, I’m no Ms. Idea like you, but what about there?”

She guided my eyes to the large gash in a far wall. Maybe it was a way out. Or, more realistically, there was nothing but debris clogging it up. I didn’t move a muscle.

“I don’t think we’re getting out.”

“Don’t think. Confirm! That’s an order, Toadette!”

The princess just didn’t get it, did she? I sat exhausted. My arms ached, my feet were sore, and my brain was way too stimulated with the deteriorating structure and fire. Sinking further in my relaxed posture, my eyes shut. Just as pitch-black as this room was before the blazes.

Daisy rubbed along my braids, sighing. “You’re really not gonna try, huh?”

Minh and Penelope. One I grew up with, and the other was not only young but the daughter of the most significant figure in our kingdom. Maybe they got away in time, or perhaps they were in danger, too. And… Even this princess next to me hadn’t been nearly as cruel as she started off. If I were to just let everything play out…

“Fuck it.”

I rocketed up and removed my shoes and glasses, leaving them beside Daisy. Running to the massive split in the wall, my feet gained an enormous boost of energy. Time to get us the hell out of here!

Chapter Text

The crumbling floor still slanted downwards into the pit of the ruins. With no good light source outside of the occasional flames, my brisk pace had to come to a crawl. Slow and steady, Toadette. Soon enough, a room emerged that looked to be mostly intact. The torches blazed, the dust didn’t muck the air up, and the debris was few and far between. Finally, a safety pocket in this hell.

Glancing at my right sole, it hadn’t been this dirty since I’d left Toad Town Tunnels. Beige and black soot caked the whole of my feet. Actually, the entirety of my body had some form of dirt covering me like I’d popped out of a chimney.

“Let’s see…”

Even though this may have hurt, I had to make sure these weapons of mine were functional. I lifted my right foot to my nose and took a sniff.

Instant regret! Totally, instant regret!! Okay, now it was confirmed my feet had the most noxious smell out there.

I picked up the pace and ran into the next room.

Now I was back in familiar conditions. How this room managed to keep from completely collapsing was a wonder. Far in the distance, someone was coughing harshly. The moaning and groaning had a high pitch, too! At that moment, my heart missed a beat.

“I’m coming, Penelope!”

I was a fool! I should’ve told this girl to stay back at the inn! My heavy steps didn’t do this uneven floor any favours, but my legs couldn’t stop. The few intact torches led me to the end of this winding room. Amazingly, her body was still moving alright, though covered in thick black dust.

“You okay?” I asked.

Upon touching her body, I sprang back like a wet cat. That wasn’t dust! It was a black coat! Damn it, one of those thieves.

He sputtered as he pulled himself up. “How are you still alive?”

“Bet you’re the one who turned this place into a walking death trap, aren’t you?”

“What can I say? The boss saw you as trouble, so he needed you out the picture. A shame you really don’t know when to die.”

Fires emerged from the cracks in the floor. Standing on my tiptoes, I was ready to get this over with. Yet I hadn’t fought anybody in a good while. Even counting the Blooper, that wasn’t someone my own size.

“It’s over!”

CLAP!

The guy kicked me in the cheek. Then he gave me another one to my cap. Man, his kicks were so unnatural! Hard to predict, too.

With my best efforts, I dodged a hit and prepared to stick my foot right in his hood. Just as it reached, I found myself spinning into a column. And my leg felt worn out. The man chuckled, stiffly approaching me with arms outstretched.

“Your feet stopped my friends. Don’t think I’m as gullible.”

He rushed at me with a closed fist. After blocking it, we exchanged blows back and forth. These dusty kicks I gave failed to hurt him. But what he had in fighting skills, I had in endurance.

Jumping away from the man proved advantageous. I briefly clung onto a wall, anticipating him to charge at me. Surely enough, he took the bait.

BOOM!

Before gravity brought me down, I sprang over the man who collided with the structure. Now that he was howling out in pain, it was time to gain the upper hand. A swift elbow to the head sent him slipping across the deteriorating floor.

And speaking of, it became apparent that standing on my tiptoes served no purpose. My feet barely crinkled at the warmth shooting from below. Though my soles were reddened, it wasn’t from any injuries. My whole body was becoming as warm coloured as my cap.

Cruising through this heat, my heel struck the man on his side. A pile of debris waited right for him, crumbling into pieces of charred dust upon the impact.

“Ow!”

That sharp impact got the both of us, bringing me to the floor about three metres away. Oof, maybe I should’ve kicked with the ball of my foot.

“No more games, you rotten fungus.”

The groaning figure crawled out the pile, appearing to walk just as fine. As if I wasn’t beginning to tremble enough, his voice gained an unsettling echo. Each inhale sounded like a distorted, roaring vacuum. And my shallow breathing started catching up with me.

“We didn’t raid that princess’s land, only to be stopped by a mushroom girl.”

I scrunched my crimson toes into the ground. “Nor did I come here to be killed by a whiny-sounding hooded maniac.”

Screeching, he pulled his foot back. Wait, Toadette. Not yet.

“Gotcha!” I screamed.

He kicked the air while I leapt straight for his face. Feet-first. And I got it in on the first try! Oh yeah, both of them.

We fell together, with my feet firmly in this fool’s hood. So, this is what it felt like when Minh was rubbing my face. Who would’ve guessed this position would be an effective take-down tactic? Now with the man trapped under my smelly soles, I’d have to borrow something from Daisy. A touch of grossness, you know.

“Mmm… Mmm…! You like those rotten feet?”

My toes dumped loads of grime and soot onto his nose, mouth and maybe even eyes. And whoo, I could smell those things from here this time. That ground heat combined with my shoes must’ve stunk them the hell up. Penelope was right when she said they smelt like fish guts.

While I laughed, the man shrieked like a little girl. Twisting like he was suffering a malfunction, he swung his arms desperately to grasp my ankles.

“Get ’em off!! Can’t breathe!!”

Clink, clink, clink…

Something popped out of the man’s coat as his body freaked out. No, two things. One was purple and shaped like a flat egg. The other was — I couldn’t believe it — the princess’s crown! I reached for both items, continuing to slap his face with my slippery feet.

My toes forced their way in his mouth until the sounds of choking were louder than my laughing. After the hell he put me through, gagging him with my clammy foot was an act of mercy. He better not have sucked off any of my toenail polish!

Soon, his body stopped moving altogether. Though his panting persisted.

I stood and delivered another series of kicks to his head. The screaming first intensified, then faded into muffled whimpers. Now the only sound filling up the room was my excitement. Maybe it took us going out to the desert to achieve it, but we finally got one of the princess’s items back.

The celebrations came to a crawl once it dawned on me. We were still trapped under the ruins. So, I hovered my saliva-covered foot above the man’s hood, wiggling my toes.

“Unless you want another date with Toadette’s nasty feet, tell me how we get out of here.”

Coughing, he growled, “These ruins are sinking. Neither you nor I am ever getting out at this rate.”

“Poor answer.”

My toes dipped back into his hood, entering his mouth. While I teased him about my toe grime and the other nasty little elements of my feet, it sunk in just how rigid his body was. When fallen down, it looked rather lumpy or like there was tech hiding under his coat.

As the toes came up for air, the man yelled out.

“Gross, I swallowed it! Look, the boss and the others already left! The place is too deep down. W-We’ve got nowhere to go, and that’s the truth. You want a better answer than that?”

A shame he couldn’t have caught me in a better mood. I gave him a final stomp to the face before spinning off in the other direction. With or without him, I’d find my own out.

Actually… How about I correct an error I made in my last encounter with these men?

“Just what’s under that hood?”

“Don’t you dare!!”

Before I could pull it back, the man reached for one of the torches and enveloped himself in flames. A burst ensued as tiny fragments dispersed throughout the room. That… That is not normal, right? In my panic, I immediately dashed to the way I came.

“Hold up,” I said, turning around. “New idea.”

I scooped up some of the hot pieces of the man and jammed them into my pocket. Cloth, what appeared to be a string, whatever I saw.

The former safe haven turned into another disaster. Both doorways leaked in a mad amount of black gas, and the odour of burning sand and artefacts got me on my knees.

CRACK!

Come on! Give me a break! The place was crumbling again? I closed my eyes, preparing for the worst. Then, sure enough, a wave of heat hit my back. Now was time for the debris storm.

“Toadette! Finally!”

I squinted at the wall where the noise echoed from. A deep hole spewing out dirty air formed, and a metal tool popped out. Wait a minute. That was the strong drill I used before working for Her Highness. After looking up, my jaw dropped seeing Minh running into this smouldering room. She quickly wrapped me in a snug hug.

“How are you—”

She pulled back, picking up the drill. “Good thing this thing didn’t pop her bag.”

So that’s why Penelope’s bag was so heavy. Only Minh would stuff a bunch of tools into a bag and have a little girl carry them. When she looked me up and down, her expression went from concern to anger.

“Are you insane? Why would you pull out the Pulse Stone?”

“Huh?”

She screamed at the purple egg-thingy poking out my pocket. “You remove that from its pedestal, this place gives and drops miles into Earth! You learnt this in history, come on!”

Scold me later. I yanked Minh in the direction of the princess, scrambling up the slippery slope. Rubble began coming on our heads while the fires and their crackling got a boost in strength.

“First of all,” I growled, “I didn’t pull this stupid thing out! It was one of those cloaked assholes! Second of all, where is Penelope?”

“Makin’ sure our emergency exit’s stable. If that rope snaps from that palm tree, we’ll be buried alive.”

KABOOM!!

Minh whimpered as the pulverised stone obscured most of the light. Still holding her by the arm, I shushed her. All I repeated was that I wouldn’t leave her.

When we got to Daisy, she screamed, “I thought you died down there!”

“None of you have any fate in me, do you?” I asked, shoving my shoes back on.

I grabbed my left behind stuff and put my shoes back on. Ah… My toes could relax in their sloshy home once again. A sharp snapping sound meant the slab crushing the princess was finally cut.

Minh sprinted down the broken hill. “Let’s go!”

We picked up the pace to the hole she dug out as more debris rained over us. It was a tight fit, but at the end, a faint light shone from above. Right in the middle, a long rope. No time to waste. Grasping for dear life, I hoisted myself up the rope to the surface.

Yes! Fresh air! Or as fresh as it could be with the collapsing ruins showering sand into the air.

“Miss Toadette!”

Penelope ran to me from a tree, rubbing her head into my chest. Despite the pain in my body, who would I be to not squeeze her back?

The princess and Minh joined up, wiping sand out their hair.

“Is that it?” I asked.

Just as I said that it was like we were all invited to watch. The structure creaked and groaned. Then, once one side leaned over, its acceleration built up and sent the whole ruins plummeting into the Earth with a monstrous roar.

“Run!!”

I picked up the kid, and we fled from the sinking desert sand.

Man, the Dry Dry Ruins had been brought back to the surface for about ten years now. And it was just gone. All because of some thieves who wanted to get rid of us, huh?

“This may hurt a teensy bit, Miss Toadette.”

Back in the inn, I fought back the tears as Penelope bandaged my right arm. Meanwhile, across the room, Daisy posed in front of a mirror. Her just-polished crown topped her off, and I admit, she looked way more like a princess with it than without.

“Now, all we gotta get is my ball and shoes.”

She slapped my left arm. “Good job, Toadette! Most useful Toad this kingdom has.”

“T-Thank you,” I whimpered.

The princess began to rub my feet like last night. No cream, but her soft hands soothed my aching soles. Penelope scurried to grab one of my feet, pushing her thumbs into my heel. I sighed in relief. Could I spot the difference in massage quality between these two? Absolutely. But the effort is what counts. So, while they treated my feet, I gave them an abridged recount of my encounter in the pit of the ruins.

Daisy sighed. “Burnt himself? Great, so we still don’t know who these guys are?”

“Oh, we’ll find out. I guarantee it.”

My eyes widened as something odd happened with my big toe. Penelope sucked on it, wrapping her tongue back and forth against my toenail. Still gross after everything I went through—I still hadn’t showered—but her big eyes looked so cute doing it.

She popped it out her mouth to say, “We tried to call you when we saw them leaving, but you never answered.”

Ah, so that’s how that happened. The whole group sans that one mook pulled a U-turn while we were being led deeper into a trap. Makes me sick. I bet it was meant for all four of us. Thank the stars that Minh and Penelope’s ghost fears prevented them from entering, even if there were no ghosts.

Speaking of the Toad, she remained in the bathroom during my long shower. After the damage I endured, somebody had to stick with me if I lost my balance.

“So, is that the most dangerous mission we’ve done?” she asked from behind the curtains.

“Nah. Cleaning out Crystal Palace that one time was way worse.”

Minh remained quiet, outside of her humming. She must’ve been tired too. Couldn’t blame her. This was another long and crazy day, and she had to enter a place she feared at the last minute.

“So, thanks for not travelling lightly.”

She giggled. “De nada.”

“Look, I need you to do something very important tomorrow.”

“So long as I’m not running into the dark, lay it on me.”

I flung my head back, sighing as the water ran down my neck and breasts.

“Well, you mind giving the know-it-all a little visit?”

If we were going to get the identity of these goons by ourselves, an old acquaintance of ours was the key. And better yet, he’d do it in an instant for free. Not like I owed him anything. And if he refused, well, this was just the beginning of my stinky soles being a powerful manipulator.

Chapter Text

I lay in the inn bed with nothing but a dry towel wrapped around my body. Oh, how I wished our clothes would wash faster. Mine had some serious holes, but nothing that a bit of sewing couldn’t fix.

Princess Daisy and Penelope occupied the other bed. Sitting criss-cross like a behaved child, Penelope scooped a spoonful of warm applesauce in her mouth. The princess, also cleaned up but scratched, ate some leftover dried pasta from the restaurant. And finally, Minh T. washed herself in the shower, for just as long as she did this evening.

Although my feet felt nicer from the brief massage Penelope and Daisy gave me, I wanted some more. In a city that lacks the best aid kits, someone’s slimy mouth was the best remedy for the soles.

“Do you not have a stomach, Toadette?” the princess asked.

“I don’t know what I want is all.”

Daisy pushed her plate to Penelope. “Give it to Toadette.”

Obediently, Penelope handed me the leftover pasta. Before she could scuttle back to the “royal” bed, I grabbed her by the shirt.

“Hey, you mind licking my feet again?”

The girl stuck her tongue in her applesauce container, nodding. “I’ll try.”

Penelope crawled on the bed and took hold of my right foot. The sole was clean, as you’d expect. What the hell was I thinking allowing her to lick my dirty foot earlier? There was no telling what particles were in that collapsed structure.

After poking around for a bit, the kid finally planted her tongue on my heel. Slowly she made her way up the side of my foot, stopping right at the pinkie toe. There, her tongue flapped before she descended the sole.

“They feel a lot harder,” she noted.

“A lack of lotion and warm shower will do that to you.”

Penelope kissed the area under my toes. “I wish my mother licked my feet.”

“She’s too good for that,” Daisy piped up. “At least that's what she thinks. When I turned 11, I already had Mom and Dad sucking on my feet. And they wanted to.”

Um… Isn’t that concerning? If my mom did this weird stuff to my feet when I was a kid, or especially a teen, I’d have wanted to kill her. Even more than I already do.

“What about you, Miss Toadette? Did your mom ever lick your feet?”

I felt the fork grind against my teeth. “No, she never licked them. But she sure made fun of them.”

“Don’t leave us on that,” Daisy encouraged. “What did she laugh about?”

As the pasta went down my gullet, my mind took me back home. Before Mushroom City, back when we were nearly poor in Toad Town. Just me, my mom, and my baby brother.

“She always joked about how bad they stunk. Any time we were at a school event and I was running, she’d tell the other moms that I’m killing all my shoes. Oh, she never tried to actually teach me how to make my shoes smell better. I had to learn by myself on a sweaty freaking bus at 19 years old, way past the time I was actually in school.”

CLINK!

I set my empty plate beside me, staring at Penelope, who was frozen with my toes in her mouth. Jeez, this was supposed to make me feel better, not worse.

The princess clicked her teeth. “I mean, you do have smelly feet.”

“But I can’t help it,” I groaned. “And you don’t get it. Everyone teased me for it growing up.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get ya. But it’s done already. Now your smelly feet are a good weapon. Embrace that skill!”

She had a point but didn’t seem to grasp my problem. Then again, it wasn’t the princess’s responsibility to hear me whine about my issues with my mom.

I turned on my side, curling up as little Penelope licked between my chipping toes.

“Besides, it runs in your family like water runs through rivers,” another voice said.

Minh hopped next to me. Among the items she’d stored in Penelope’s bag, pyjamas were one of them. A short-sleeved dotted shirt, white and pink, complemented by grey sweatpants.

Rubbing my cap, she said, “I remember your mom saying your brother’s feet smelt just like yours.”

“Well, he’s a boy. His feet are supposed to stink.”

“You have a brother!?” Penelope shouted.

My little brother is six years younger than me. Yet he probably did so much better in the school system because he was male. Being ultra sweaty is a norm for teen boys, on top of being grosser.

Minh let out a moan. “If I sniffed you both at the same time, I’d die one happy Toad.”

“What’s stopping you?” the princess asked.

“Can we end the topic?” I pleaded.

Soon enough, even with the TV noise polluting the room, I had fallen asleep. Did I reveal too much info about my life to these two royals? At least neither I nor Minh were dumb enough to say specific names.

The following morning…

At last, the dry eastern air was out my nostrils upon the train halting at Toad Town. Re-entering the grand castle, I bolted for my room immediately. Exchanging words with Her Highness was low on the list of things I wanted to do right now.

CLICK!

Out my original suitcase came a small, pink bag. I spent the next few minutes polishing the dust off my glasses. Most importantly, I’d replace the damaged lens with a new pair. As soon as I put my glasses on, my vision switched from soft and fuzzy to sharp and bold. Much better.

I hopped into my bed, letting my phone’s bright screen pull me into another news-reading session. One click downwards pulled up an article referring to yesterday’s events. To skip or to read? A little peek wouldn’t hurt me.

The title read, “Dry Dry Ruins, Gone.”

The rest of the article went as follows:

“7:36 PM. Citizens of Dry Dry Outpost were pulled from their daily activities when an intense rumbling shook the entirety of the Dry Dry Desert. What many in the town failed to witness was the disappearance of the Dry Dry Ruins. The massive structure is said to have plunged back into the Earth, miles and miles below the surface. Who is responsible for such a catastrophe? Nobody yet has an answer, as zero bodies have been found near the site.

An anonymous man suggested to us that someone “must have stolen the Pulse Stone”. The circumstances behind the collapse are considered a mystery to select researchers, as it is not traditional to enter the Dry Dry Ruins after sunset for any purpose. It is therefore ruled out that the individual who carried out this task was a native of Dry Dry Outpost.”

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

Way to take me out the article. “The door’s open.”

Once I got a glimpse of who was there, any potential excitement faded.

“I don’t remember asking you to come here.”

“Not the most courteous way to greet someone whose help you’re so desperate for, T. Ana Jr.”

Calling me that stupid name that literally no one else addresses me by? When I asked Minh to deliver fragments to this blue-capped know-it-all, I expected her to send me a message giving me answers. Instead, Russ T.’s smug voice was all that was needed to ruin my day.

Picture a nerd in school, slap some Toad features on him, and you’ve got the perfect image. Buttoned shirt, khaki pants, and blue hair. Then contrasting with my squarish glasses, his were completely circular. And look at his stance, folding his arms like he was better than me. For a geek, he was quite the arrogant one.

He wiped his nose, saying, “Good news. Those charred pieces you found might have helped me figure out this thief character you’re chasing.”

“Then don’t waste my time. Get to it.”

“But like everything involving you, good news can’t exist without bad news. In this case, our pending payment.”

I furrowed my eyebrows. “Pending?”

“For at least six years now, Toadette. All the fake documents, arranged burglaries, so on and so forth. You always said you’d pay me later, but later never came. Let’s not forget—”

“I can take a hint. How many coins you want?”

Russ T. just stared me on. Then, out of nowhere, he was stroking my arm.

“All these years, and you still think I want your money?”

As the mental pieces aligned, I didn’t hesitate to shove this pervert away from me. Yet, despite the impact, here he was, laughing. This wasn’t funny!

“If you don’t need my wisdom, I’ll be on my way, Toadette. Excuse me.”

Man, I felt I needed to shower after that. Russ T. had been trying to bust off to me since high school. Oh, I’ll never forget how disturbed I was. Imagine some guy coming up to you and asking, “May I smell your hair while I masturbate and ejaculate to your scent?”

Yet if he let him leave, it could take us forever to find these guys’ identity. The leader’s potential strength made gathering info critical. Think, Toadette. Do you let him wank off to you this one time? Or would you rather have an unprepared near-death experience with these goons for the third time?

“Wait!” My head slumped. “Just make it quick.”

Russ T. flipped a 180°, rubbing his sweaty hands. “Superb. If you were always this cooperative, I might’ve been able to call you useful before.”

Asshole. The Toad unbuckled his belt and dropped his khaki pants. His dick was pushing hard against his briefs, looking like a stained lump.

Before I knew it, he started to rub his boner. Yes, with the underwear still tight on him. On one knee he went, continuing to massage his dick as he… sniffed the tops of my feet!?

Kicking him in the chin, I screamed, “What are you doing!?”

“You know a woman’s scent piques my curiosity. And Minh made special mention of your feet containing incredibly potent pheromones.”

“Oh, did she now?” I muttered.

“Was I supposed to lie?”

Great, bring an extra uninvited guest to the table. The girl barged in with a bag of chips, noisily chomping them while her flip-flops slapped against her stained feet.

“You’ve never seen a guy jack off for you before, huh?” she asked through the smacking of her salty lips.

“No, and I didn’t want it to be like— Oh, kill me.”

Russ T.’s penis had swollen up to the size of a sausage, and he whipped it out for all to see. It stood darker than the rest of him, and the base had a blue tuft of hair. The end of the thing was completely bare. Guess he was one of the ones to snip that extra skin.

Seeing this nerd shoving his nose between my toes as he pumped his cock made me feel so dirty. It’s that feeling where you know you shouldn’t be doing something but choose to do it anyway.

“Your feet indeed emit powerful odours, Toadette.” Russ T. pushed his nose flat against my sole, making me gasp. “Very strawberry-like.”

Bite your lip, Toadette. You do this once, you won’t have to do it again.

While this horny bastard’s moaning ramped up, Minh entertained herself by rubbing her gross feet on his cap. No nail polish this time around. Now her nails matched her skin tone, if not being a touch more undersaturated.

Although the tickling sensation of Russ T.’s nose was getting bad, I maintained my composure. That was until he wiggled his fingers on my heel. Once the first wiggle took place, I fell back into the mattress, laughing like a jester. My own giggles drowned out the squishy, moist sounds of his cock going back and forth.

“Still sensitive, I see.” Russ T. kept his fingers skittering along the tops of my feet as he kissed my soles.

“Shut up!” I cried out.

As if one person on me wasn’t enough, Minh pushed all her weight on top of me. My shirt came up and I squealed as her fingers went up and down on my sides. Her giggling fused with mine.

“Coochie coochie coo…”

This was the second time this girl had tickle tortured me. But this time, there was nothing heavy restraining me aside from her body weight. Twisting and turning was impossible. I lay stuck, with a tickling assault taking place on not only my feet, but my body as well.

Minh’s brown eyes crinkled in joy as she made her way up my body. Her crazy hands stopped right before my bra.

It stopped. The tickles were over, even on my feet. Closing my eyes, I felt the pressure of Minh’s body and Russ T. sucking my right big toe. These two worked up so much frustration in me, yet my desperation to breathe made it impossible to communicate anything.

SLAP!

For a second, something weird touched my foot. Then there was some rustling in the sheets, and the mattress moved.

“This position should make you more comfortable,” Russ T. said, laying directly in front of me. My feet were directly on his face as he lay on my bed. Without pants and while wearing shoes. If I could speak, imagine the rant I’d go on.

Muffled under my soles, he grabbed at Minh T’s thighs. “Minh T., do you mind stimulating my penis while I… ah… take in Toadette’s aura?”

“What kind of dumb question is that?” Minh instantly grabbed the geek’s cock and yanked it up and down like a machine.

Russ T. went back to sniffing and kissing the bottoms of my feet. Moaning like he was getting the best sex out there. Though, he WAS getting a handjob as he sniffed my feet. Now that’s a strange concept for a sexual encounter.

“I’m ‘bout to go wild, guys.”

I turned to Minh, and whoa! Although rumours floated around school about her sucking dick with passion, I had the pleasure of never needing to witness it until today. A good three-fourths of Russ T.’s slong sat in her mouth. And in seconds, her head went back and forth on the penis. Minh’s vacuum-like slurping was accompanied by the bouts of leaking saliva mixed with pre-cum. This was no Toad. Clearly, she was an animal.

Russ T.’s moans ramped up as the horny nut gave him head and my foot smell entranced him. As embarrassed as my face was, this could’ve been worse. He could’ve been getting off to my stinky feet. Yuck!

Giving quick licks to my soles, the nerd’s moaning turned into intense huffing. And he started to rub my legs.

Minh slapped his penis on her tongue before driving it back down her throat. The way she gave moaning comments, you’d think she was dining on a five-star meal. In no reality could a penis be that flavourful to where you’re moaning like that.

Suddenly, Russ T. pushed my feet deep into his face. His whole body convulsed as he let out a long moan, followed by little gasps as he sniffed between my toes. On the other end, Minh’s head-bobbing came to a crawl, yet her slurping persisted strong. When she pulled back for air, all that was left was Russ T.’s worn-out cock spurting out some… Oh, it was disgusting.

“Please do not swallow that,” I begged her.

The girl stared at me blankly but seeing her neck go in and out told me everything. Sick. And she had the nerve to lick her semen-coated fingers as well. The only good part about this was that none of it ended up on my body.

Russ T. gave my feet some final tongue laps before I yanked them off his face. He lay as red as my toenail polish.

“There, you got your whiff of me,” I groaned. “Now, hold up your end of the bargain.”

He snickered as he grabbed his pants, with Minh still licking at his penis. “Those fragments you found belong to a mask, that much I can confirm. But they’re so burnt, I couldn’t pinpoint what mask it was no matter how much you offered. If you were gonna play detective, maybe you should’ve brought a certain someone.”

Damn it. Let me think. What races wear masks commonly in the Mushroom Kingdom? Shy Guys are the default choices. Snifits, who are kind of like Shy Guys, but not exactly. Bandits, who are also like Shy Guys.

Hmm…

“Gotta be Bandits,” I insisted. “The dudes whose faces are somehow on their masks.”

“No way. It’s the Shy Guys!”

Minh took centre stage, sucking off the last of the sticky substance off her fingers. “Don’tcha remember when they ransacked this place before? They crushed all my flowers, messed with the mail around town, and it turned out they were working with Bowser!”

“Minh, they’re like the same family. We should’ve checked that whole desert and, ooh!”

Bandits were just the less-popular versions of Shy Guys, so it made more sense that they would rob from Princess Daisy. It’d draw less attention than if a well-known group did it.

“I don’t know. Minh’s always been the smarter of you two, Toadette.”

My brows furrowed, but he talked with a smartass smile on his face in spite of my mood.

“A decent amount of Shy Guys live in Sarasaland and the Mushroom Kingdom. Bandits tend to stay on home turf if you will. And if they’re here, your best bet is that abandoned yellow building. It’s where they operated from in 2001.”

“Okay,” I sighed. “Then why don’t we just ask our princess to blow the place up from the outside?”

“Because that’s a perfect way to destroy the items you’ve been looking so hard for. Not to mention, these guys aren’t complete idiots. What if the walls are rigged with explosives? The items are gone, the Toads are gone, the whole street could be gone.”

Okay, so we were going back to that secret entrance after all. That underground block wall had to have been what led into the yellow building. Yes, the map works out. We’d be walking right underneath that stupid structure.

Yet if the Shy Guys were the real ones behind this, we can’t just go in willy nilly. And furthermore, two of us wouldn’t be able to survive alone. They nearly got both Daisy and me in the ruins.

Taking Penelope and Minh along for the ride would have to be our strategy. And this time, I’d make sure they’d be able to defend themselves. All they need is a heavy dose of stink added to their feet.

Chapter Text

Breaking the reality of the situation to Princess Daisy was easier said than done. But, having Minh at my side gave me a bit more comfort. She’d be an okay shield.

The princesses were in swimsuits, sitting in long chairs around one of the garden’s great pools. Even under the umbrella, Her Highness rocked a pair of shades.

“Hardly surprising,” Her Highnesses commented. “Shy Guys always carried a reputation for being thieves.”

“I was under the impression of petty thefts. Not messing with royalty.”

“We can break into their base tonight,” I said. After nearly burying me alive, there was nothing I craved more than seeing these guys get their well-deserved punishment.

But Daisy stuck her hand out. “Stop right there. We got our hands dirty enough for the past two days. Peach, you and your other Toads can take it from here.”

Her Highness glared at Daisy before laughing. “Always asking for more, aren’t we? I already gave you Toadette, and you still want to eat up more of my resources.”

“Yes, I do. Do you have a problem with that?”

“You could say that.”

In an instant, Daisy lunged out of her chair and yanked Her Highness’s arm. Her puffed cheeks and furrowed brows made for an intimidating appearance. Well, intimidating by my standards, and certainly by Minh’s. So, why was Her Highness so calm?

“This whole mess started in your kingdom! So yeah, you’re gonna get off your lazy butt and deal with those Shy Guys!”

Her Highness pulled her shades off. That high confidence her body language displayed was present in her eyes. “Aw… It’s always adorable when you try to give me commands.”

What a condescending comment. All it achieved was Daisy’s muscles tensing and her teeth gritting so loudly she sounded like a furious animal. Matching her grip on Her Highness’s arm, her toes curled to a degree I had never before seen. This was the highest amount of wrinkles this lady had in all this time.

Minh poked my side, and I responded, “Someone’s about to get hurt in a second.”

BAM!

Ow… Her Highness’s strength… Not only that, but her speed continued to catch me off-guard. Was my nose broken? My sense of smell seemed to vanish in thin air, and it wasn’t helped by her giant foot crushing my face.

“Tell me, Toadette. Did I request to hear your ‘hilarious’ commentary?”

“N-No! No, Your Highness!” My short message was broken into chunks as I tried to breathe.

Finally, she pulled the foot off of me.

CRACK!!

Wrong! Her foot slammed down a second time! The force could’ve been enough to break my glasses, but my strained screaming was getting loud enough to achieve that. Matters only got worse as her long toenails dug into my face.

For a second time, she got off. But it felt more like she was forced off.

I opened my eyes, and Princess Daisy towered over me. She pointed in the direction of the castle.

“You and the gay Toad start getting this operation in order. Peach and I will be busy for a bit.”

Her Highness sighed. “Oh goodness. Here we go again.”

I never thought Minh would be the one to drag me away from a dangerous event. When we got to a garden path far from the royals, she fell to her knees, hyperventilating. Her pupils were smaller, and her hands clasped over her mouth.

Before I could check on her, she sprung up to rub my face. “Are you okay, Toadette?”

“Let’s just grab Penelope.” I brushed her off, leading us into the mighty structure.

“Her Highness always looks happy on TV and in the mags,” she continued. “Aside from when Bowser’s the subject, I’ve never seen her act with so much… anger.”

Poor Minh, still stuck in that mindset of worshipping a figure because of their status. I was the same at a point. After all, Her Highness seemed like a perfect role model for a growing little girl like myself. It’s a shame that my illusion of the Mushroom Kingdom being a utopia was shattered on my 13th birthday. A quick introduction to the grimy aspects of Toad Town showed me that Her Highness wasn’t the perfect angel she appears as to the public.

Even with this knowledge, I was still lucky to be working under her. Although she labelled me a slave, at least I wasn’t working for someone like Bowser. Babysitting Penelope was ten times more fun than what those dreaded Koopalings could terrorise me with.

After Minh and I dragged Penelope outside, I put the first phase of my plan into motion.

“Jumping jacks! Go!”

At my command, Penelope got to work flapping up and down like a bird. She didn’t have all-star athletic prowess but cut her some slack. Without any school, meaning no gym, who could fault her for lacking strength?

The important thing was how her pale skin started to turn shiny. See, these Shy Guys only had one apparent weakness: feet. Stinky feet proved to be an instant knock-out gas for two of them, though one put up more of a struggle against me. But if we had eight very smelly feet on our side, imagine the outcome.

And this tennis court served as a good training ground. The blue one had the hardest floor of the three basic courts I scoped. Penelope and Minh slipping was the last thing I worried about.

Speaking of Minh, this dope put on a pathetic display. One jumping jack for every 20 seconds?

“Would it kill you to work out for once in your life?” I groaned.

“If you want me to sweat so bad, just let me sit out in this hot sun.”

Clearly, the girl needed some motivation. I began to slip my shoe off yet halted halfway. That strategy wasn’t good enough. She needed a solid threat.

“You can start jumping, or I’ll walk through town broadcasting your foot obsession to everyone.”

She threw her hands up. “You wouldn’t dare!”

“Try me.”

That lit a fire under her butt. Now she was matching Penelope in pacing. Intimidation is a valuable tool when used appropriately.

Would I really share her secret with the public like that? No, but she had reason to believe I would. Unlike her, I’d never been a goodie-two-shoes about keeping secrets. Sorry, promises be damned. I gotta jump on opportunities when I can.

Penelope went for an extra 50 seconds before hitting the ground. “I feel heavier…”

That got a smile out of me. “Then that means you’re getting stronger, too.”

“How come you’re not doing any of this?” Penelope asked.

“Good question!” Minh panted through her exercising.

Well, the truth was that I didn’t need the exercise. My body was gonna get sweaty regardless of whether or not I worked out along with these two. In addition, all this stress from imagining the potential obstacles we’d face was forcing enough water out my body.

“Four laps, girls. And…go!”

For the second exercise, the kid zoomed off like she downed dozens of candy. She left Minh in the dust. Of course, this lazybones wasn’t running, instead walking in this heavy heat.

While the two completed their laps around this spacious tennis court, my toes were dying for some fresh air. A little progress check wouldn’t hurt. Off popped my shoe, and I bent to smell my foot. Just a little sniff.

“Eck!”

Back in its prison, the foot went. Holy cow, the funk wasn’t quite as bad as when we were in the ruins, but it was on its way. Let’s try to keep these shoes on for the rest of the day.

By the time Penelope finished, six minutes had passed. For a little girl running what seemed like three-fourths of a mile, she had some skill! Heh, she’d make a good exercise partner if she wanted.

“Should we check the smell?” she asked, removing her sneaker without an answer.

I plugged my nose. “No! You don’t wanna lose that smell, okay?”

Phew, I dodged a bullet there. All this heat turned the girl into a cooked chicken. Even though the bottom of her foot never crossed my sight, I knew deep down that it was as red as a cherry. Gross to have in your face but effective as a combat weapon.

As Penelope just finished doing some push-ups, sit-ups and squats, Minh slumped past me for the fourth and final time.

“My body isn’t built to handle this abuse!” she cried out.

“Tell me about it,” I scoffed. “You can ride someone for hours, but a little running hurts like Hell.”

Her voice cracked. “At least I’m sitting or lying with a dick in me, Toadette! Not doing a triathlon across the kingdom.”

I told her to listen to her crazy self as she gulped cold water down. She and Penelope sat at one of the circular tables under the shade. Meanwhile, I was flat on the concrete doing bicycle kicks.

“So, what makes your feet smell so awful, Miss Toadette?”

Way to be blunt about it. I was still kind enough to answer the kid’s question.

“First of all, I work hard. Second, blame genetics. Stupid doctors say I sweat more than other Toads, yet they can’t or won’t give a reason why.”

Minh kicked her flip-flops off and slammed her feet on the table. Through the ridges of the table, it was clear that the splotches of dirt on her soles were fading. Excellent. It only meant that the sweat level was high.

“She’s right,” the Toad said. “First time I went to a pool with her, I thought she jumped in ‘fore us all. Turns out she was a natural fountain of sweat, leaking gallons of the stuff like a soda dispenser.”

“Don’t tell her that!” I shrieked.

But Penelope was already laughing. “So, can you bathe with your own sweat? Have you?”

“One time, my mom bought doughnuts, and they weren’t glazed,” Minh wheezed. “So, I tell her ‘Toadette nos ayuda’ and rub her forehead all over my doughnut. And it’s shinier than when you normally buy them!”

I should’ve really kept my mouth shut. Just add these to the pile of sweat-related jokes I got over the years.

“You look like you ran a marathon.”

And there was the princess herself, barefoot and still in her swimming attire. The big difference, and this made my heart freeze, was a bruise on her left shoulder. The bright red could only mean that it was fresh.

“Tell me you’ve got all these details planned from A to Z, Toadette.”

“Is A to L close enough?”

She trotted to the chair closest to me, setting her dirty feet on my cap. “For now, I don’t got many other choices. Give us a little rundown, okay?”

While the princess rubbed her rough feet on me, I gave a thorough explanation of how we would handle our entrance into the base of the Shy Guys.

“Neat. I can whip up a pair of smelly feet in a half-hour,” the princess smiled.

I pushed her feet off me. “But as soon as we’re in there, you gotta keep your shoes off.”

“Why?”

“I don’t think you can pop sneakers off like flats or flip-flops.”

Penelope would need to follow the same advice. Sneakers were mandatory for both humans due to the Toad Town Tunnels. Even though neither Minh nor I enjoyed chilly temperatures, we could wear whatever light footwear we wanted through the sewers. See? Being a Toad has its benefits.

“By the way,” the princess added, “If we’re talking about practise, how about we give each and every one of us a long tickling?”

“Nope!” I shut the idea down immediately.

“It’ll help numb us a little bit. Come on, you gonna chicken out on that?”

“I’ll be fine,” I insisted.

Although I declined to get my feet tickled, Minh and Penelope stepped right up.

As the sun fell upon the domain, the four of us approached the powerful pipe’s mouth. And no, we did not forget the hammers this time. Those blocks were coming down for good this time.

I came in my flats, whereas the two royals arrived in winter clothing and sneakers. Everything was as planned so far, except for Minh.

“Where are your shoes?” I groaned.

“You didn’t notice me walking here barefoot the whole time?” she said. “Besides, I ain’t gonna freeze down there. You forget I lived in Mushroom City.”

Speaking of freezing, I turned my attention to the crowned princess herself.

“Don’t YOU freeze up on me again.”

“No promises. You just focus on getting us to the end quicker, shorty.”

Easy enough. It wasn’t like the tunnels changed one bit from when we last passed through them. Frigid, putrid, ugly, all its traits still applied to this walk. Only now I had two more people to care for, and one was a little girl.

“Why do you know this place so well?” Penelope asked.

“Shortcut pipes,” Minh sang. “Not always the most reliable, but when they work, it’s better than catching a flight.”

“Mother always said she’d let me fly, but I’m waiting for that—”

My grip on the hammer tightened. “Can your mom be an actual mom for once?”

There was dead silence aside from the sloshing of feet in sewer water for three seconds.

“Sorry,” I sighed. “But what does your mom actually do with you?”

As I led us deeper, I felt intense regret for my outburst. Please understand that up to now, I’ve been more like a mother to Penelope than Her Highness. I’ve tried to entertain her, I’ve listened to what she has to say, and I’ve just let her be like a kid. Somewhat.

While Penelope stayed silent, Princess Daisy responded to me. “She leaves Penny herself most the time, and then Peach gets mad when she makes mistakes.”

Yeah, that was the reason I was even assigned to be this kid’s permanent babysitter. All because Penelope was carelessly getting robbed every day in Toad Town. Perhaps my mom was too constricting of me. But I always believed an overprotective parent beat an uncaring parent any day of the week.

“How old are you, actually?” I asked Penelope. “Seven?”

“Ten…” she mumbled.

Ah, back to the blocks. They towered us once again. This time, however, we were well-equipped. Minh took the first heave backwards, then swung with all her might.

BOOM!

A lightning-like crack penetrated the block’s surface, but more blocks required to be demolished before this wall fell. It was like a musical rhythm. Whenever I hit a block, Minh prepared her next swing. As all her weight shifted forward, I’d retract my hammer.

“Isn’t this nostalgic?” I chuckled, lightly coughing in this cold.

“Look, it ain’t as bad as having lava under our feet.”

While we laughed, we overheard the princess calling us the Super Toad Sisters. It wasn’t too off from reality. Since we became friends, our bond was as tight as two loving siblings. We played with each other, we laughed, we had our petty squabbles. Hell, we were sisters in everything but blood. And that makes her desire to do dirty things with me all the more disturbing, actually.

As those incestuous thoughts ran in my mind, Minh went flat on her back. Panting, she kicked at the block.

“If you’re tired, you can give the princess your hammer,” I gasped. “Don’t break your feet.”

“Block’s weak enough. This’ll only take a few more minutes. Come on, you gotta keep some of your arm power, Toadette.”

I hated to admit it, but she was absolutely right. Feet may be the weakness of Shy Guys, but being able to handle them with melee shouldn’t have been ignored. So, I plopped next to her, and together we kicked at a single block. She used her bare feet, and I used my flats.

My strikes sounded hard as you could expect. Like banging your fist on a table. Meanwhile, Minh sounded like she was hitting a pillow.

She giggled. “If you were more into feet stuff, we could totally do a double footjob. Look at those legs go!”

“Don’t get any ideas like that. You’ll save yourself the disappointment.”

“You get feet in your face every day now,” Minh sighed. “One way or another, you’ll see what I see in ‘em.”

Come on, Toadette. You can’t think of a witty comeback?

CRACK!

Whoa, the block just crumbled into pieces. And following its destruction, a black dropped from above, shattering into chunks. I pulled Minh back as the domino effect formed a frigid cloud of dust and pulverised stone.

Choking in the stuff, Minh exclaimed, “I broke it first!”

“About time,” Daisy cheered. “I’m gonna teach these Shy Guys a thing or two about respect.”

Inside the new room, there was nothing along the sides. It looked no different from every other room in this sewer. Yet in the middle was a firm, red pipe shooting up for what could’ve been miles. Due to the minimal flickering lights, it was impossible to tell if it turned at any point. And looking up in the tube proved fruitless, as it was pitch black.

“What the hell is it gonna be like up there?” I huffed.

“Only one way to find out.” The princess pushed me to the side, jumping into the pipe. Up, she went.

I turned to the remaining two. “As soon as you come out that pipe, swing in all directions.”

Although I didn’t see a nod, two distinct pipe sounds indicated they’d made the jump. In my isolation, I recited a brief prayer to the Star Spirits. As much as I didn’t put stock in their powers or care for people, this prayer helped to ready my body. With my nerves calm, I let the pipe suck me up.

Flowing in the pipe for the next three minutes made my back hurt. This thing was a deathtrap, let me tell you something. Most pipes are built to stretch upon detecting a person’s size. Yet this dark pipe not only refused to alter its form, but it was only barely wider than myself. And of the four of us, I’m the skinniest!

The only saving grace was that the tube was lubed. If it weren’t for that, my cap would be slowly ripped for three whole minutes. The pipe went straight for one minute, twisted left for another, and then continued upwards.

POP!

Slumping out the warp pipe, I forgot my own advice. “How are you guys feeling?”

“Worst pipe I’ve ever travelled through, hands-down!” Minh whined, fluffing her hair.

This room was tiny. The only thing of note was some orange toy box pushed against the wall and that every wall was a different colour. In front of the toy box was a golden and red spring. Coming from a non-artist, these colours were so ugly mixed together.

The princess shuffled her feet around the tight space, shaking her head. “Don’t tell me this is all there is.”

“Well, I can tell you we’re in the right place,” I said, pointing to two crooked windows. The only building on this street with such an obvious defect: the yellow “abandoned” building.

Yet this room was doorless. As much as I wanted to keep the princess excited in finding her stuff, we had nothing to go on.

I turned to Minh. “You were hit by that Shy Guy raid in the past, right? You remember anything specific?”

“They hopped around in my garden, Mario gave ‘em head injuries, and that was it. You know he’s not the talkative type.”

“Damn…”

While we three adults thought of something, perhaps another place the Shy Guys could be hiding, Penelope was stomping on the golden spring.

“Get off that thing before you hit your head on the ceiling,” I warned. This was shorter than your average one-floor building.

“Thanks for caring, Miss Toadette, but sometimes you worry too much.”

I frowned. “Off. Now.”

“Is it a crime to have a little fun—”

BOING!!

What in the world? Penelope shrunk! And the… the toy box swallowed her whole! As the spring tightened again, the lid shut with a POOMPH.

We seemed to find the Shy Guy’s base after all! A magical toy box, who would’ve guessed that? These goons were never known for their magic capabilities.

Daisy’s face of disappointment switched to a big smile. “We’ve got those suckers now! What’cha waiting for?”

Vaulting onto the spring, another BOING brought her into the toy box. Minh and I looked at each other, and all we could do was let out a nervous chuckle. Of all the strange stuff we did in the past, this was very out there.

“After you,” I insisted, pushing her to the spring.

She pulled me back in front of the toy box. “Nah, nah! You’re stronger, so you go first.”

Ultimately, we held our hands in the middle. My right foot pushed down on the spring, and her bare left foot reciprocated the action. It took two seconds, but the toy box came to life! The spring threw us into this mysterious toy box.

Chapter Text

The dive into the toy box lasted an eternity. Just as my eyes opened, I went into a panic. What was going to break our fall on the way down?

BOING!

Huh, a spring? Well, that was good. Before I could barf, a mass of footsteps headed in our direction. Though I couldn’t see them, the heavy pitter-patter noises made it clear.

“So, this is how we’re starting, huh?” I yanked Minh onto a set of train tracks.

These tracks were designed to give us a difficult time. I fought tooth and nail to maintain my balance, but these slippery flats couldn’t grip onto the surfaces. In contrast, trailing behind me, Minh ran with a tighter posture.

“Do you know where we’re going?” she asked.

“Wherever the tracks lead, we follow!”

But my idea was hacked to pieces. About 100 metres or further ahead, another group of Shy Guys headed towards us. Their blobby shadows cast upon the inner train tunnel, and the dozens of high-pitched wails struck fear in me.

Damn! Cut off from behind and front. Looked like we had no choice but to fight. So, I skidded to a halt and reached for my shoe.

“Come here!”

Next thing I knew, I fell face-first behind a wall of colourful blocks. Then, something pulled me into a corner, covering my face.

My muffled screams fell on deaf ears, for something was pushed deep in my mouth. When the world finally became visible again, it looked to be… a giant foot! Someone’s upside-down foot was forcing itself down my throat. But it wasn’t just any foot. Of course, this toxic body part belonged to the Sarasaland princess herself.

As her toes twitched in my mouth, the sounds of the Shy Guys grew to thunderous levels. It was as if a locomotive was roaring right on top of me because the ground was shaking with such intensity.

I waited breathlessly, expecting the minions to spot us. Yet soon enough, the screaming and footsteps faded altogether.

“That’s not fair at all. They didn’t even give us a headstart,” the princess pouted.

When she pulled her foot out my mouth, I scurried to my feet. Penelope stood behind me, panting with her hands over her own lips.

Wait. That’s one, two…

“Where’s Minh?” I did a 360° scan of my surroundings, yet there wasn’t a single cap with pink spots.

“Ran there,” the princess said, pointing to a doorless room. “Guess she got burst of crazy energy when I snatched you.”

“Here they are!”

Our attention diverted to a lone Shy Guy waving his hands at his distant peers. Not taking the chance, Daisy grabbed him and drove him into the floor.

“Help me knock this cretin out,” she ordered.

Running to her side, I stepped on the face of this Shy Guy. Upon getting a whiff of my smell, he began screaming. Bad news! Bad news! Even stomping my heel against his mask had no effect.

Suddenly, there was a wet noise.

The princess had stuck her toes through the mouth hole of the mask. Damn! She actually made the hole bigger.

“Like a big baby,” she snarked. “Gotta pacify him with my dirty toes.”

Ten seconds later, she drew her foot out his mouth. Saliva was indeed dripping from her toes, and a decent amount at that. Finally, we all made our way to where Minh had run off to. 

This doorless area spanned the height of this surprisingly colossal toy box. The whole place looked like a creative child’s bedroom. Floor tiles that formed pinkish-yellow diamonds covered the entire floor, and the beforementioned train tracks sported a blue and cream colour scheme. And never was there a completely empty area, in stark contrast to the building housing the toy box.

Now, that’s what made navigating this place more of a hassle. As we entered the room Minh hid in, letter blocks were scattered in seemingly random locations. They were at least Penelope’s height, if not bigger.

“Duck!”

I spun around. “What?”

BA-BOOM!

The princess’s command didn’t get me to move, but that noise pulled me to the floor. I hugged the top of my head, clenching my teeth because it felt like the toy box was collapsing. Did Minh mess this all up already?

BOOM!

Another one! To get a better vantage point of the situation, I climbed one of the heavy blocks. A decent distance ahead, Penelope was wrestling a slingshot away from a Shy Guy.

This dude had on some bush attire as if he’d trained rigorously on Lavalava Island. And right behind them, the wall was in shambles, glowing from the tiny licks of fire that tried to escape.

These morons! They were using explosive ammo to weed us out?

Worse yet, as Penelope got some toes through this Shy Guy’s mask, another soldier set his sights on her. He drew back on the slingshot with a direct line of fire.

“Do something!” I screamed to the princess. Between Minh getting herself in danger and Penelope about to be blown up, my mind was drowning in panic.

PLONG!

The tiny cannonball zipped from the slingshot, and it was a sight you couldn’t ignore. He had to have godlike skills to aim so accurately for Penelope’s forehead. The poor girl didn’t even notice as she smothered her occupied foe into unconsciousness.

Princess Daisy shouldered Penelope into the wall. Just a hair afterwards, a heavy THUD echoed through the toy box. Then, the ear-bleeding BOOM sound took place and shook everything. As a wisp of grey smoke rose, I ran to try and caress Penelope.

“What are you doing?” The princess pushed me back. “We’re intact. Deal with the grass guy!”

How fortunate that she told me this, for the Shy Guy was quickly drawing another bit of ammunition. Popping off my shoes, I zig-zagged over to the short menace.

Just as he grabbed the slingshot’s band, we stood face to face. Or rather, foot to face. I delivered a kick before following with a stomp to his mask. Even without my foot close to my own nostrils, I got a good hint of how strongly they stunk. Imagine an old, dripping cheese pizza with extra garlic, and you’d have my feet in the present moment.

I penetrated his mouth hole with my heel. “Take that!” My sticky toes dipped into the opening, and I let loose. As they wiggled, the Shy Guy’s tiny body squirmed and contorted. Eventually, it gave out and went still. Yet the fool’s tongue remained between my toes.

“How do you like that, huh?” I screamed in frustration, letting out louder grunts as I pinched his costume with my toes.

“You deaf? Stop!”

The princess, in turn, kicked me off the Shy Guy. My flats then smacked me in the face before hitting the tiled floor.

“Keep screaming like that, and we’ll have the whole shorty force right on top of us,” she growled.

“…Right.”

Princess Daisy must’ve been a genius today. At first, there was a brief buzzing noise that made Penelope jump. But after that, three high-pitched blares activated throughout the toy box.

A fuzzy voice said, “May I have your attention. Four intruders have been reported in the toy box. All workers, do whatever is in your power to detain them. And if they die in the process, we won’t blame it on you.”

We were screwed.

I ran back to pull Penelope up, brushing her body off. Good thing that strike missed her. Otherwise, I don’t even want to imagine what it would’ve been like. Why didn’t I expect this level of danger? I thought we’d be encountering spears like what they held to us yesterday. Not weapons more deadly than anything Her Highness’s guards had.

“I’m fine,” Penelope assured.

Nodding, I held her hand into the next room.

Doth my eyes deceive me? Right at the end of this room, past two open blue doors, was the missing Toad herself. And she was chatting with a Shy Guy?

“Minh! Are you trying to get us killed?”

Daisy shared my frustration tenfold. “I didn’t know you Toads were the traitorous type!”

When she caught me marching up on her, she nearly jumped out her flip-flops. Hands outward, she stammered her next excuse.

“I can’t get a thank you for finding us some help?”

“Help?”

I looked at what was the big blue shoe of a Shy Guy. Oh, that was only the beginning. This beast was at least a good 8 feet tall, bigger than Bowser of all monsters. Yet at the very top was a mask no different than any other Shy Guy, aside from being slightly pointed.

Grabbing Minh by the collar, I growled, “Be glad I’m nice enough to not let them capture you, even though you just gave them our location.”

“They only know we’re in this station ’cause you were screaming like a dying Bumpty,” she said.

She interrupted me before I could continue on.

“And my friend, Gourmet Guy, is offering to hide us.”

Unbelievable. Like I always say, she makes friends wherever she goes.

The now-trembling floor sent me into a panic. Not only were we cut off by a dead-end wall, but the guardrails near us were too high to hop in time.

Clasping my hand, Minh yanked me behind this lump of mass known as Gourmet Guy.

HICCUP!

The hell? Right below me, Penelope let out three more hiccups. What else could make our situation worse? The Shy Guy horde barged into the room with its high-pitched wailing. I shut my eyes, trying to brainstorm an alternative escape.

“The intruders. Where are they?” a voice huffed.

“Absolutely nowhere near here. They said they’d go back to Toad Town to bring along more friends.”

Gourmet Guy and Minh shared one thing in common. Neither could tell a decent lie. You’d have to be as brainless as a Goomba to buy that claim.

“Dang it! Why didn’t we—” A Shy Guy slammed something on the floor.

A second voice, deeper in tone, spoke up. “Boys, half of you go into the tunnels and guard Secret Entrance A. The rest, conduct a thorough search of the other stations.”

“Yes, sir!”

Penelope broke from our huddle and peeked past Gourmet Guy’s fat rolls.

“You!”

Just like that, another hiccup bubbled out her mouth!

“If you see them again, make sure you report it this time.”

When the Shy Guy was out of audible range, Minh skipped in front of Gourmet Guy. Her blushing cheeks scrunched as a wide grin overtook half her face.

“Thanks, Mr Gourmet Guy.”

“No problem,” he bellowed. “But in return, you know what I’d like most.”

Minh paused, still keeping that grin strong.

“What?” I asked.

“You got any sweets on you?”

“Yes, because I totally carry sweets when I’m trespassing.”

Daisy checked her pockets, resulting in nothing. And Penelope shrugged as well. Hmm…

“Penelope!”

I swung the little girl towards this behemoth. Though his mask was expressionless, he must’ve been confused.

“You can’t eat her, but you can lick her feet like a lollipop.”

“What kind of offer is that?” Daisy yelled.

Too late to reverse the decision. Gourmet Guy was already lifting Penelope all the way to his massive mask. The girl was kicking and flailing in every direction. Although it was cute in a way, a muscle or two twitched. Nothing was fun about seeing a little kid terrified.

“You’ll be fine, Penelope,” I assured. “If not, don’t worry. I will kill Minh to avenge you.”

If those guards in the desert thought Penelope’s feet tasted sweet, Gourmet Guy must’ve had the same tastebuds. This unique trait of Penelope’s feet could be what saves us in the long run.

The Shy Guy stuck the kid’s feet in his mouth hole, and the loud slurping commenced. Imagine a fat man slurping up a plate of noodles.

“It tickles!!”

Penelope’s worried whimpers turned into a mix of sniffles and laughter. Could you blame her? A giant, slimy tongue was pushing against her toes with the force of a tsunami. 

“Oh… Oh… Oh!! Delicious!! Too unbelievably delicious!!!”

The room shook for another time as the big man zipped from corner to corner, ceiling to floor, and bounced against the giant walls. When he landed before us, Penelope’s hair was a frizzy mess. Kinda cute…

“Listen up,” Gourmet Guy began, reinserting Penelope’s feet into his mouth, “If you’re looking for the big man, you can find him in Red Station. One of the two big rooms there connects to his chamber. But I can’t tell you which.”

Penelope collapsed to the floor upon being released. Her feet had spit bubbles all over them, like she’d been dipped in a bubble bath.

“I can’t feel my feet…” she panted.

So, all Shy Guys weren’t complete scum. Though, it was best not to chance chatting another one up.

Back to the tracks we went. Not a Shy Guy in sight so far. I kept alert, for one could be lurking around the corner at any moment. Based on the map I glanced at, these tracks went in an oval formation. Unfortunately, the Red Station was directly opposite the Pink Station. Left, right, it didn’t matter. We’d have to pass the Blue Station or Green Station to reach our target.

“Miss Toadette—”

“Ssh!” I tightened my grip on her arm.

“Can we dry my feet off with something?”

“Keep walking, and you’ll find them magically dried.”

Anything to keep us moving was good. But how long could a little girl like her hold up for? Especially now that her feet were numbed.

“Miss Toadette!”

“What?”

I almost swung her in the face, but something greater in the distance caught my eye. A swarm of Shy Guys locked onto us. In this crowd of yellows, reds and blues, the one emotion I spotted was determination. They were gonna carry us to this leader one way or another. Or worse, kill us on command.

“We gotta run!” Daisy yelled, hoisting Penelope in her arms.

Groaning, I ran in the direction of the Shy Guys. “Keep running that way,” I explained. “I’ll distract them and we’ll meet at the Red Station.”

“But then they know we’re still in here!” Minh screamed.

Her concern was well-founded, but things would look bright so long as we kept our speeds up.

Sliding past the Shy Guys, I teased them with a toe wiggle. “What’cha waiting for, suckers?”

“Charge!!”

So, is this what it feels like to be chased by boys in school?

Both shoes flew off my feet this time. Taking after Minh, I took advantage of the grip my bare feet offered. With my balance up, my speed got an additional boost. But those Shy Guys came in huge droves.

The high screaming was enough to drive a girl crazy, but on top of that, I could hear radio static. A Shy Guy was relaying our locations!

Giving up the chase, I directly confronted the Shy Guy mob. Maybe I was outnumbered. But the fight needed to be settled here and now.

I drove my foot into one of their faces, growling. Huh? Why wasn’t it knocking this one out? My feet smelt like rotten onions! I switched attention to another, and this one actually conked out. Great, so even some basic grunts learnt to be immune to foot odour.

“No point in resisting,” a Shy Guy said. “You can give up and make this easy.”

I clenched my flats with every fibre of my being. “I’m sure I could.”

BANG!

With one hit, I tackled two Shy Guys with both shoes. Come on, more power! Pushing as deeply as I could into their masks, I eventually heard a crack. Yes!

“What’s wrong?” I giggled. “My toes too strong for losers like you?”

Somersaulting over the two minions, I made another sprint away from them. I’d be leading these fools back to Pink Station, as far away from their target as they could get. Hopefully, the other three didn’t get captured.

TWANG!!

“Ow!”

Out of nowhere, a Shy Guy sliced me with a devastating blow. What the hell? He had a guitar!

Alright. If he wanted to play rough, he could get it rough. Aiming low, I swept the Shy Guy off his feet. Though he used the guitar as defence, he fell onto his back.

“Take this!”

I shut my eyes and stomped my foot as hard as I could below the belt. There was a strong wail echoing through these Toy Box walls. My heels dug deep into his crotch before I jumped back. At least this idiot was out of commission for now.

Ugh, they wouldn’t stop coming!

I kicked a Shy Guy with such strength its mask broke into three large pieces. Simultaneously, a second one was pushing me to the floor. I whacked its face with my shoe, but a third one joined! Then a fourth one!

Those two started to tickle my soles.

“No!” I shrieked. “Don’t do that!”

Curse my sensitive skin. Their little play session with my feet sapped away all the strength in my upper half. So, the second Shy Guy successfully pinned me to the cold floor.

“You’re gonna regret this!” I cried, banging my fist on the ground.

I squirmed like a worm, but it was in vain. The Shy Guys didn’t let up on my feet. If anything, they went even harder. And now, with my laughter echoing throughout the toy box, each and every one knew my position.

Damn it. I lost.

Chapter Text

The Shy Guys had tied something over my eyes and gagged my mouth. Perfect. I had no way of communicating as they carried me to who knows where in the Toy Box. To think I was defeated because of some ticklish feet.

Above their marching chants, all I could hear was a train zipping by. So, these tracks served a purpose, after all.

Once the air changed is when I knew I entered a different room. The rest of the Toy Box smelt like an ordinary building with occasional hints of sugar. However, this room reeked of nasty body odour mixed with expired food. And feet. Never a pleasant combo.

“Don’t kill her,” a gruff voice said. “But disable her in every possible way.”

My bindings were removed, yet the room was just as pitch black as when my eyes were shielded.

CLANK!

Not good. That was a gate or door. Where was the exit to this place?

“Wee hee hee… What have we here?”

My hands went on the defensive. It took a few seconds to notice that my shoes were nowhere to be found. In my fumbling, I slipped on what felt like a puddle of oil.

“Who’s there?”

“You sure you want to know?”

A spark lit the room for a second. Then it became a flame, and I turned blue in the face. Holding the flame, the lantern, was a gigantic Shy Guy draped in a green cloak. He was decently taller than me, with a spooky face cut out of the cloth.

I fled, only to hit my face on the floor again. This lantern oil was going to be the death of me. It made my soles even more slippery than their regular sweat!

“Now that the introduction’s out of the way…”

The creature blew out the candle, covering us both in an endless room of darkness. Okay, what were his potential weaknesses? My feet, probably. But how do you kick someone that’s invisible more or less? Screw kicking! How do you smother someone with your feet in these conditions?

My breath sat trapped in my throat as I tip-toed along the edges of the walls. Maybe I could find a latch to open the entrance to this place.

“BOO!!”

A giant arm pulled my chest, forcing air out my body. I hit at the creature with my elbow.

“I’ve got your every movement traced…”

“Let…me…go!”

I bit into his arm so deeply until I tasted blood. He screamed and dropped me. As I spit, the clinking of the lantern signalled me to where it was.

I needed that light!

Crawling on my knees in this slick oil, my arms did a wide sweeping motion to feel for a piece of metal or wood. All the while, the ghostly dude growled and stomped in my direction. I had to be on the right track!

Nothing to the left. Nothing to my back-left. Something on the right?

No!! I went past it! But wait! My toes…

They were slippery, but I managed to carry the lantern with my feet. Once in my hands, I didn’t know what to do with the tool. I didn’t walk in here with matches, after all.

“Hand it over…”

The voice was right on top of me. Taking my chance, I rubbed my greasy foot along the massive face.

The monster coughed, flinging me into a wall. He sputtered and wheezed before running at me with his gigantic feet. Good thing he was making so much noise. Just as he nearly collided with me, I sprung into his shoulders and took him down.

Unable to see, I kicked at his face with my right foot. Quickly, I felt an opening in the cloth and slid my foot in there.

I wriggled onto my feet, now standing in both of his eye sockets. The noises of my slippery soles dancing on his face made my stomach churn, but this meant survival! At some point, he’d have to give in to these grimy soles.

“Enough!” the giant Shy Guy howled.

Before I knew it, I was airborne and crashed into the ceiling. When I hit the ground, my insides felt mangled. But my grip on the oily lantern was firm, just in time to hear him approaching me.

“We’ll make a deal. You give me back that lantern, and I will let you go.”

“Yeah, right. What do you even need a lantern for, dark-loving freak?” I held it in the air, ready to slam it into pieces. This device was useless for me.

“Light is quite the powerful tool in the darkness.”

I maintained silence.

“I see what’s happening here. But luckily, Jack Lanterna always thinks ahead.”

Jack Lanterna? My breathing intensified as this hot air started to hurt my face.

“Ow!!”

I dropped the lantern and a ton of glass shattered. Against the walls, it sounded like a ball was bouncing. What kind of ball would that be? One made of bricks?

“What’s wrong?” Lanterna cackled. “Mommy never taught you how to dodge in sports?”

A second strike hit me right in the stomach, barely missing my crotch. But my feet held me up. If I were to fall, I’d be sliced into a million tiny pieces thanks to this lantern. It only flickered once, then a second time. After that, nothing.

Damn! I was barefoot. I was stuck in this one position.

CLINK!

A third hit from the ball got me in the shin. He knew what he was doing.

That ball… What were the odds it was Princess Daisy’s stolen soccer ball? Made of gold, as she liked to brag. If I could bring this loser to his giant knees, I’d be leaving this place with the item. First, I needed to find a way to get from this spot.

Reaching slowly, I grasped the lantern’s handle off the floor.

“What a lacklustre opponent. I think I’ll finish you off before I die of boredom…”

While he pumped himself up, I tinkered with this doohickey with sweat racing down my face. How the hell would I light it?

Wait a minute. That school camping trip we went on back in sixth grade. While most the students had cheaper or traditional lanterns, Minh T.’s parents got her an electric one. It may not have been a real fire, but it was a super bright bulb in the shape of a fire. Moreover, it had a switch on the bottom!

Oh! I brushed my hands against the bottom of this squarish lantern, yelling once the monster was a step away from me.

CLICK!

A dangerously bright light shone in both our faces. And from what I could faintly see, it pushed him back.

His wobbly stance was the perfect opening.

I set the lantern down and slammed both my feet into his mouth. Falling atop of him, I held on to his shoes for support, pushing my toes as deep as they would travel.

Salty? Probably. Greasy? Definitely. But the light revealed it wasn’t oil I stepped in. Instead, my feet were just soaked in melted butter.

It explained the bad odour. They set this trap up specifically for one or all of us. Hmm… Would melted butter make my feet taste better?

Clearly, it didn’t for this bastard. My foot thrust in and out his mouth like a plunger, and each time he reached for me, I dug my nails into his arms. This Toad wasn’t going anywhere until he was put out of commission.

“Doesn’t that foot smell yummy-wummy?” I giggled.

“You’re a psychopath!”

I wiggled my toes in his mouth. “Nah, just a fighter.”

40 seconds of violent gagging later, I pulled my slippery feet out this thing’s mouth. It sent a shiver up my spine, but he seemed incapacitated. The smell and taste didn’t knock him out cold, but his movements were too slow to harm me.

“Open your mouth,” I ordered.

Clearly, I hadn’t had enough of gagging this asshole. As horrible as the sensation on my feet was, seeing him below me was far too satisfying. Toadette held all the power now.

“Mwah, mwah…” I teased. “Make ‘em slimy.” 

Alright, enough playing. Lest I ended up like Penelope with numbed feet.

A quick scan of the room showed me where the exit door was. It was big, blue, and sealed tightly.

“Let me out of here before you get my sweaty, stinky feet going down your throat again!”

He coughed. “Don’t get too cocky. You’ve still got the big man to handle…”

A button clicked, and the metal door opened from bottom to top. I saw my poor flats sitting right next to it. Oh, I wanted to cry so badly upon seeing those smelly things. Before leaving, I shoved my feet in their little homes and picked up Princess Daisy’s golden soccer ball.

Boy, this baby was hefty. If you told me it weighed two kilos, I’d believe it. Who in the world plays soccer like this without breaking their big toe?

“You don’t stand a chance…”

SPLAT!!

A deep stomp to his large crotch shut him up for good. “I think I’ll be fine, thank you very much.”

While I was out in the open again, my tension didn’t lessen. The Red Station could be crawling with guards since they knew I was a prisoner here. I hid behind some giant toy blocks before hopping on a toy Ferris wheel.

Looking down, the area was clear. I vaulted off the blocks, tumbling to a halt when striking the ground.

You know, despite all this madness, I had a smile on my face.

With my feet being the powerful weapons they were against that guy, there was no question in my mind. I would not be beaten by their leader. No, I could not be beaten! If I could take down lantern freak, a regular Shy Guy would be amateur. What happened in the past must’ve been flukes and nothing more.

Maybe I wasn’t the strongest person around. Perhaps I wasn’t the smartest Toad around. Hell, I know I wasn’t the bravest girl around. But I had two things working for me: my speed and my sweaty, sticky feet.

“Watch out, Shy Guys,” I grinned. “Toadette’s here.”

Chapter Text

The Red Station had two long hallways, and only one went unexplored.

This one wasn’t nearly as blocky as the other room. It resembled an open plaza. Really, the only unique quality was the large blue wall at the end. On it, a band of tape covered up a crackling section.

Well, how were we gonna solve this? I pulled out each pocket for reassurance, and there was no tool to help me.

“Maybe I could use this ball.”

That idea sounded smart before I thought about it. With my feet being combat weapons, broken toes would be suicide.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted an abandoned slingshot. Two stray bullets lay beside it.

“Worth a shot.”

Boy, aiming this was finicky. Pulling back was easy, but my fingers were freaking out, knowing they were clutching an explosive. I only had one chance of getting this right, and I wasn’t gonna waste it. So, with my feet planted and arm drawn back, I let the little bullet zip across the room.

BOOM!

Smoke came out the hole, and a small fire got started. Thankfully, it wasn’t big enough to burn this place to the ground.

“Easier than I thought,” I chuckled. Picking up the princess’s golden ball, I waddled into the dark room.

The flickering flames illuminated a white door at the end of this extended hall. What a clash of decor. All these childish decorations, and now they wanted to look professional with an office door?

I reached for the handle, only to bust my mouth on the ground.

There was no handle! It was just a smooth door, presumably locked shut.

“Screw you Shy Guys so much!”

Taking a few steps back, I rammed the door with this soccer ball. It didn’t budge. So, I went further back and repeated it with a scream. Still locked!

“What’s wrong? My feet too strong for you?”

I sprinted one final time, pushing through this stupid door. I dropped the ball and whipped out one of my flats.

“All of you are going—”

“Get her!”

Someone crushed me from above, and the next thing I knew, my hands were being tied together. Ow! And another one dropped on me. I could feel something wrapping around my feet, as well.

“I intended to handle you myself…”

That voice. It was the leader.

“But if you prefer being executed along with your friends, we can accommodate you.”

As the Shy Guys carried me, I got a good view of the tall man himself. He sat in an almost-bored position, leaning on his elbow. Next to him were two groups of Shy Guys stacked into towers and a gigantic rifle.

What the? It was rare to see even Her Highness’s troops wielding guns. Yet this platinum-coated one stood 2 metres long.

“I commend your bold strategy of facing us head-on just one day later, Toadette. Your intel-gathering is remarkable.”

A gruelling 20 seconds passed with the Shy Guys tying my midsection to a large chair. Ramming down that door like that really messed my shoulders up. Frustratingly, to my left and right were the three that I left behind. Directly to my left, Minh. To my right, Penelope. Look a bit next to her, and you’d see the Sarasaland princess herself.

“Splitting up didn’t work so well, huh?” she asked.

“I found your ball. Too bad you might not get to use it again.”

The Shy Guys propped my feet on a table, along with the other girls. Man, my toenail polish was starting to chip. But that was a minor concern, considering we could hear mechanical devices moving throughout the ceiling.

“Princess Daisy,” the leader said with an echo. “Tell us how it feels to not only have been outsmarted by us, but to have lost your country, your status, and your unimpressive life.”

“I’m not giving up my home to a scum-sucking loser like you.”

BZZZZZ!!

A shock travelled through the princess’s chair! A flash came, and her body stiffened like a statue.

The figure cackled. “In a few minutes, you won’t be there to defend it. It’s about time we Shy Guys aren’t on the same underclass levels as fungi.”

“What’s he talking about?” I asked.

He continued. “Approximately 97% of Shy Guys in Sarasaland have suffered under your leadership. They crave a man who will end the advantages of you humans and the other sub-races. A man who cares for his fellow Shy Guys, General Guy!”

Clap! Clap!

Those mechanical devices? They dropped in front of all our feet.

Out of these tubes came two hairbrushes, at least on my end. For Minh, they were toothbrushes. Two coloured feathers sprouted before Penelope’s soles. And in front of Daisy were a marker and a paintbrush.

“I don’t know if this is kinky or scary,” Minh said.

“This is the start of your punishment, Princess Daisy, for the atrocious treatment you have given to our people over the years!” General Guy spat those words out, they were so anger-fuelled. “Men! Engage the first phase!”

All at once, the machines made a move. I couldn’t hold my laughter in for a second once the brush bristles scratched my soles. It was just like sitting in that chair in the Playroom. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, just a vulnerable target to be tickled.

“Resist, you two,” Daisy coaxed, clearly referring to Penelope and myself.

Through her boisterous laugh, the little girl let out a broken “I’m sorry”. Those feathers were doing a number on her feet. Every sensitive area got a visit from the tip of a coloured feather, and poor Penelope lost it once they played with her toes.

Despite my dear princess’s attempt to stay strong, those art tools made her crack.

“No!”

Oh, it was too late. As soon as her guard went down, she couldn’t help but giggle. All three of us had one thing in common aside from the laughter. We tried at various points to force our way out of these seats.

Every opportunity I got, I swung my midsection against this seatbelt. But it wouldn’t break! How were we gonna get out of this situation?

To my left, Minh sat with a dead neutral face. No smile, no fear, no emotion.

“H-How are you not laughing?” I screamed.

Her voice was strained. “Just biting the inside of my lip.”

Penelope and Daisy continued to fidget against these chairs, and my feet wanted to bust out of this bondage.

Again, it was that ribbon material. Not the thickest in the world, but very sturdy if our previous experience taught us anything. But I knew if we could find something sharp and position our feet just right, maybe we could cut our way to freedom.

Minh’s breathing intensified along with the pace of the toothbrushes scrubbing her feet. Huh, one was electric. Maybe if they activated the actual brush motor…

“Hahahahahahaha!”

A loud whirring sound started Minh’s descent into giggles. She leaned forward to pull that brush away, but learnt quickly how restrained she was. How restrained we all were.

About two minutes in now, and the sensation was dying down on me. My toes may have been curling and flinching, but I finally took a deep breath.

“Phase two, men!” General Guy yelled.

The torture devices made a hasty retreat to the sky, and the chairs started shifting independently.

I sat across from Minh, and Daisy was across from Penelope. Shy Guys ran up to us and started positioning our feet in front of the other’s face. Yuck, I couldn’t have been partnered up with someone whose feet were cleaner. Well, nothing was forcing me to lick.

ZAP!!

Both us Toads locked up and squealed.

“Keep licking,” Daisy shouted. “Or those midget maniacs are gonna fry us into bits!”

Minh T’s feet were so brownish from dirt that even “dirt crumbs” were caked around her toes and stuck to her heel. The girl had no issue licking my feet, though. And so the tickling returned.

NO! I needed to lick or risk dying. I’d just wash my mouth out with soap later, if there was a later.

I sucked on Minh’s big toe. Firstly, it tasted nothing like a foot. It tasted like elements of earth mixed with a slight infectious flavour, no doubt caused by her wearing flip-flops through the sewers. Closing my eyes was the best way not to throw up.

Cringing, I gave the side of her feet a few licks before slurping on her pinkie toe.

To my utter horror, Minh was licking my feet with less passion. Her speed plummeted after a while. Even foot-freak deviants have to let their mouths rest after a while, and we just had jolts of electricity pumped in our bodies.

In between kisses, I ordered her to fight through this. I’d think of something, hopefully.

This felt like it was going on forever. While Minh’s speed dropped, my tongue became a desert.

“Whoa!” I suddenly spun around in this chair.

The Shy Guys were repositioning us. Now I had Penelope’s feet in my face.

Gross, they were covered in Princess Daisy’s spit already!! EW!! If I weren’t on the brink of death, I’d have used that General Guy’s rifle on him already.

Once more, with shut eyes, I licked Penelope’s thick arches before exploring her drenched toes. The taste wasn’t awful, but it surely wasn’t good. It was like tasting porridge or any other bland dish. Penelope didn’t have things any better. After all, her whining noises rivalled our licking noises.

“Miss Toadette!”

“Be quiet!” I yelled. She needed to let me think of a way to get us out of here.

“R-I-P my R-I-B-BON!”

Huh? R-I-P… Rip my ribbon? Yeah, like I hadn’t thought of that.

“Good try, but it’s not that simple.”

My vision blurred as I jammed all five of her toes in my mouth. My power was low, and my jaw wanted to fall off. I looked up at Penelope’s face to see her mouthing something. First, it looked like she was saying “my”, then “pig”, then “do”. At the same time, she removed her foot from my mouth and tapped her big toe on my lips. Yuck, it was SO slimy!

…This clever little brat. Finally, we saw eye to eye.

While licking one of her feet, I pushed the ribbon on my hands against her big toe. Her nail wasn’t too long, but it was long enough to apply pressure.

Just a bit more. Come on, Toadette, do it!

Yes, a small slit formed in the bottommost layer. From here, we fit three of her toes into that little hole. The spreading commenced. Those three toes made the hole so wide, this ribbon’s strength was becoming weaker by the second.

SNAP!

We did it! My hands were freed!

Using my own fingernails, I punctured and tore the red ribbons around Penelope’s chubby feet. Heh, and she was catching on fast. At that exact moment, she broke her hand bondage against my toes. Then my feet came free.

“Hey! What are they doing down there?”

General Guy must’ve lost his mind when he saw us disengage these seatbelts from the side and come to the rescue of Daisy and Minh.

“Sir, they’ve broken the bindings!” a Shy Guy cried.

“Wait! Those are the red ribbons?” General Guy rose from his seat. “How could I have been so ignorant? We had the gold ribbons ready to secure these women tightly.”

All four of us stood tall and barefoot. We had about 30 Shy Guys staring us down.

“Skip phase three! Men, attack!”

“Don’t just stand there, guys!” Daisy yelled, easily swatting away a Shy Guy.

One of my flats was right behind me. With a duck and a spin, I pulled a Shy Guy into it. My shoe might’ve been smoking him out, but this was the least these bozos had to worry about. You could hear Penelope smashing one’s mask in with her heel a short distance away.

The crackling was interrupted when two Shy Guys in pink robes backflipped on her head.

I could see one of them ready to ram her stomach once he hit the floor. Time to counter that little plan.

WHOOSH!

The Shy Guy that suffocated from my noxious flats flew right into his buddy. And I handled the remaining pink Shy Guy with an elbow to the eye.

“Thank you, Miss Toadette,” Penelope sighed.

“Thank you. We would’ve been literal dead meat back there if you hadn’t spoken up.”

I patted her on the back before going to clear out more Shy Guys. This excitement, it filled my body with a sense of invincibility. Suddenly, the energy was unlimited.

Minh, over in the corner, stood still with a Shy Guy under her arch.

“Say you’re sorry,” she said, putting on her extra sweet voice.

No response came.

CRUNCH!

Ooh, seeing her arch go into his mask made me jump back a little. That was somehow more intense than what the royals or I had done beforehand. Though, Minh proved to be a bit nervous.

“Oh! I didn’t mean to step that hard!”

“Don’t feel too bad,” I yelled. “Keep that energy going!”

CLINK!!

Behind me, Shy Guys rained from the ceiling, covered in red. Well, even more red. Bloody red. The next thing I knew, a shiny sphere rolled against the floor. It went from white to a crisp golden state, and Princess Daisy’s toes were there to hold it in place.

“Feels good to have you back,” she said to the soccer ball.

“This is war!”

Chapter Text

General Guy leapt out his chair, letting his long coat soar through the air. And to my shock, he set his platinum rifle on the floor. However, his slow, intense breathing told me to not let my guard down. Once he curled a fist, I stepped forward.

“A fistfight?” I scoffed. “That’s lame, you’re gonna challenge us to that?” 

“Nope. He’s challenging ME.”

Princess Daisy brushed her shoulders while she marched ahead of us. Before I could pull her back, Penelope tugged on my leg.

“Interrupting Miss Daisy when she’s angry is a really bad idea.”

I shook my head. “Handling this monster by herself is a really bad idea.”

Sighing, Minh got on one knee. “Don’t worry too much, Toadette. She’s pretty strong, I mean.”

Fine. I would just sit and watch this upcoming clash. With all these wounded Shy Guys on the floor, the space was ten times smaller. So as a precaution, I pushed the girls a few steps back.

The chuckling General Guy folded his arms. “Stubborn to the very end. Your desperate need for power has damaged your brain.”

“We wiped out your little army with some sweaty feet, loser. So even if you’ve got some trick up your sleeve, Daisy’s not one to be underestimated.”

“Based on your foolish adventure, you should listen to your own advice.”

Daisy threw her leg in the air, revealing the dirty bottom of her foot to the Shy Guy leader. “Please, you know I’ll win. Unlike these red-garbed morons, I’ve been able to lift hundreds of pounds since I was a kid.” 

“Ah…” The man cracked his knuckles. “Creating fictional accounts of events that never transpired is a genius way of boosting self-confidence. Tell me, is that what helps you sleep at night? Instead of Shy Guys being battered in Sarasaland’s rich streets, you tell yourself they’re dancing peacefully?”

SMACK!

Daisy brought the conversation to a close, slugging General Guy in the chest. And so, the battle began.

General Guy first guarded Daisy’s punch, then shoved her a short distance away. But she returned with a diving kick, missing the barely moving man. For each attack she threw, he only twitched to avoid it.

“It’s like an insect buzzing ’round a statue,” Minh remarked.

“Part of why I wasn’t concerned about her strength.”

So many somersault flips came into play with the princess’s strategy, yet General Guy took advantage of every opening. There was a punch here, a strong kick there, and a backhand that sent her tumbling.

“Come now,” the man taunted. “You can lift hundreds of pounds but can’t catch a stationary general?”

“Don’t mock me!”

With an explosion of vigour, Daisy leapt into the air again. And this time, she dove her leg right into General Guy’s hood. At least he’d have her foot odour to deal with now.

“You got him, Miss Daisy!” Penelope hopped up and down.

But something in the pit of my stomach told me that this was far from over.

In just two seconds, General Guy rose from his collapsed state and snatched Daisy by the ankle. No big boasts came out her mouth now.

The mood completely shifted when the Shy Guy used his other hand to tickle her sole.

“Hahahahaha! Get out of there, you jerk!” Daisy screamed, her laughter starting to sound like crying. “Let me down!”

SLAM!

The crack was so bad, I instinctively shielded Penelope’s eyes. All hope for Daisy winning faded as she struck the ground head-first.

“Wish granted.”

As if he inherited the speed of a Bullet Bill, General Guy drove his foot into Daisy’s chest. “Such a lacking opponent,” he said, punting the princess twice until she skidded before us. The lady coughed up a storm, moaning and groaning.

Even though my heart sunk, the thought of the princess’s alleged treatment of Shy Guys in her own country sickened me more. I’d denied it, but of course, Minh was correct. Not every Shy Guy was a horrible person. So, this brutal beating could be considered Daisy’s consequences.

Nevertheless, I spoke loud and clear. “You wanna tag out? Lady, you look like someone pulled you out of a demolition derby.”

Her arms wobbled until she was on her feet again, but even her legs shook like jelly. “I’m defending my home. That’s MY job.”

“Won’t be anymore if you keep fighting like this.” My volume increased. “Use your head—”

“SHUT UP!”

It took a lot of restraint for me not to slug the princess at that moment. She huffed at me, eventually turning around to confront the man ready to kill her. Penelope whispered the princess’s name in a feeble attempt to persuade her, but alas, she was already gone. The royal drove her foot into General Guy’s midsection. Then the coated figure flew back, shockingly unable to maintain balance.

BAM!

I spoke too soon. The princess lay face-first on the ground with General Guy looming over her. Seeing as he didn’t pass out from her earlier attempt to suffocate him, he must’ve been resistant to her feet. Great, so even if she got another chance, it’d be in vain.

He shook his head. “Are you beginning to comprehend the pain you put my comrades through in your country? I promise, this is but a taste of that.”

CRACK!

Daisy’s pained scream reverberated against the walls, and it only got shriller as General Guy drilled into her back.

“Whether we be in the Mushroom Kingdom or Sarasaland, you privileged sorts step on us like trash. And here you have the nerve to get enraged when we finally react!”

CRACK!!

Penelope tugged on my shirt. “Miss Toadette. Please.” Not once could she blink nor turn her head away from this display.

My feet, they wouldn’t move. How could they when Daisy’s true colours were once again being revealed? No matter what gripes I had with these monsters, if they had innocents being abused in Sarasaland… General Guy’s accounts sounded no different than how the princess treated me when she came to this place. If I had the power to command a bunch of Toads to kill her, would I have done that earlier?

“What’s wrong?” Minh snapped me back to reality.

I described to her frantically how this conflict stabbed at me like a knife. Would I go and help Princess Daisy, or what I let her face the consequences of her actions uninterrupted? Even if the latter meant losing my job, there had to come a point where I stopped being selfish.

Minh looked me in my eyes, drawing me closer to her calming voice. “Let’s see, Toadette. Either Princess Daisy can live to become a better person, or disappear and never correct her mistakes.”

“And you’re still making me decide,” I sighed.

“Don’t forget what he told his followers to do to us,” she said. “If Daisy’s some so-called demon, he ain’t no better.”

With a nod, I hopped into a handstand and struck General Guy’s chest. So began the new stage of this battle, with Toadette taking centre stage! My unexpected entrance got him breathing harder in that suffocating coat. All Daisy let out was a sickly moan, lying like a corpse beneath General Guy and me.

“She doesn’t like mushrooms any more than my people,” he said, lunging back. “Why ally yourself with a common threat, child?”

I furrowed my brows.

He continued. “The enemy of my enemy is my friend. Therefore, we settle our differences here and lay this dictator to rest for the best outcome.” Though a cold hood shrouded his face, some sincerity shone through in his voice.

Unfortunately, it didn’t through mine. “Don’t get sweet with me when I had to crawl my ass out the desert TWICE thanks to your goons.”

“It was worth a try.”

“You got this, Toadette!” Minh shouted, waving from a distance. Aside her was Penelope, still wide-eyed and motionless.

CLAP! CLAP! BOOM!

The two of us exchanged blows back and forth before I slammed General Guy in his skull. For the first time in two days, he groaned in genuine pain. But it only lasted for so long. Soon, the man yanked me by the collar, and I hit a pillar with a force strong enough to break it. He immediately reached me again, taking hold of my foot before driving my knee into the floor.

My right leg stung like crazy. However…

“Is that the best you got?” I growled, rubbing my side. The tried-and-true method of my powerful feet was roaring to be my next strategy. General Guy read me like an open book.

“Don’t bother,” he said. “If we trained many of our elites to withstand your toxic odour, what makes you think I’d be susceptible?”

I chuckled. “You’re not the invincible leader you think you are.” I’d need to back those words up with proof.

If my foot had been in some of these guys’ faces for longer, I could’ve subdued them more easily. And General Guy couldn’t be much different because no matter his build, he was a Shy Guy at his core. So I wasn’t going to give this bastard some quick stomps. Nope, he needed lethal suffocation.

Air poured out my lungs while I dashed along the room’s edges. Once, twice I circled past General Guy. His eyes stayed locked on me like an Albatoss.

“Tiring yourself out? Your tactics are so embarrassing I can’t even laugh.”

Perfect timing! Just as he spoke, I pushed from the wall and jammed my right foot into that hooded opening.

“I got loads more energy where that came from, bud!” My foot made sure to stink his face up. At first, his echoey laughter continued. No screams, no nothing. My face changed from cocky to worried when nothing happened. But once I spread and flexed my dirty toes, something snapped.

General Guy let out a scream so wild that his voice was breaking into chunks. Then, with his defences broken, the man fought to get this sweaty Toad off his face.

“Guys!” I stomped with all my might, trying to fit the other foot in there. “Help!”

As he screamed again, all five of my toes managed to break into his foul mouth. “Eat it! Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!” I yelled that forever, grossing both of us out in the process.

THUD!

No, just as I was winning… General Guy punted me across the floor and slid to his rifle as if he had skates. Although I proved that he floundered under smelly feet, he had me beat thanks to a stupid gun.

“You beat my infantry, but that’s all you’ll achieve.”

What was I supposed to do now? Hold my hands up in fear? Get on my knees? I had speed, but not even the fastest Toad could outrun a rifle’s bullet. Without even realising it, I’d already accepted my fate. On my knees and with both hands in the air, I kissed my life goodbye.

“I respect your combative skills, but so long, Toadette.”

“WYAAAA!”

BOOM!

Glass rained from the ceiling as General Guy let out a thunderous scream. To my excitement and horror, Penelope stood right next to him. As a light flickered, the girl kicked and clawed at his cloak. Knowing her soles were slobbery and sweaty, a bit of hope returned. The Shy Guy hopped backwards as his grip on the gun began to slip.

With the opportune moment here, I slammed this asshole into a pillar. And when he sunk to the ground, Penelope and I both got heavy stomps in.

“Are we winning?” the child asked, breathless. “Are we—”

SMACK!

The butt of the rifle whacked me in the forehead, knocking all the energy out my body. Like a ragdoll, I tumbled on my knees and eventually lay flat.

“Disrespectful, uncouth human!”

BONK!

In a flash, Penelope bumped her noggin against mine. Her warm spit dribbled onto my cap, yet I knew better than to complain. If I had the strength, I’d have thanked her for being brave. Even if it was a foolish attempt, the girl was ready to risk her life for me.

With the teensy amount of power coursing through my veins, I flung one of my flats at the man.

It missed.

“None of you knows when to surrender, do you?” General Guy asked, reloading his gun. “Mario was LUCKY to defeat me once, several years ago, and even he broke the rules of war. You all lack the proper battle experience to tangle with the best of the Shy Guys.”

“Sorry, Miss Toadette,” an injured Penelope said. No doubt she heard the reloading and predicted what the next step was. Holding her as best I could, I shut my eyes.

“You’re just a stinkin’ coward,” Daisy growled, coughing.

CLINK!!

The next thing I heard was the gun dropping to the floor, a bullet leaving the chamber and a heavy metal sound bouncing against the walls. When I opened my eyes, a sphere rocketed from surface to surface like a cannonball. And indeed, General Guy’s weapon hit the floor while he danced around in panic.

“Come the heck on!”

I looked back and lost my marbles. Minh? With Daisy’s soccer ball rolling back under her feet? How the hell did this gym-skipping Toad kick a golden ball without footwear? The rules of physics should’ve deemed that illegal. Either my friend was secretly the strongest person in the room, or she was the dumbest person.

Nevertheless, I cheered her on mentally. The princess encouraged her to kick the ball again. But amidst all our excitement, General Guy regained his rifle. Within no time, another bullet sat in the chamber.

“This is why I’m sorry!” Penelope sprung up, limping towards the towering Shy Guy. Her shirt was torn, her face was scuffed, and her spit-covered feet made her trip twice. Yet here she was, pushing on like a trooper.

General Guy cackled. “Stubbornness must be a virtue in royalty.”

The man aimed his gun directly at Penelope’s face. One pull of that trigger and Her Highness’s daughter would be lost for eternity.

“Move,” I croaked.

“I swear I’m gonna rip your head off if you hurt her again!” Daisy yelled, pulling herself on one elbow.

“Do not touch her!!” We all froze as Minh’s vocal cords snapped.

BONK!! Clank…

Our eyes recorded every precise detail as if we’d eaten the essence of Slow Flowers. The golden soccer ball penetrated General Guy’s chest, then something flashed. Just after the impact, the cloak split into millions of fabric pieces while smoke rose. Out that smoke flew 20-ish regular Shy Guys, metal shrapnel, a fragment of a metal arm, and one unique Shy Guy. His defining features were his military cap and his silver attire.

So, the big man himself wasn’t so big, huh? Even in my half-dead state, I couldn’t help but snicker.

“I-Is she okay?” Minh asked, squeaking like a mouse.

“Whoo-hoo! Good work! The idiot burst like a piñata before his trigger finger worked!” Daisy’s wide grin returned for the first time since this battle started. She rose with all the energy in the world, despite looking like she had come out of the Glitz Pit.

The grown women pinned General Guy under their feet while I limped like a mummy. My arm was so red that you’d think I had lost blood by the second. This soreness could not be overstated.

Princess Daisy asked, “Any of you wanna throw me some suggestions on how we punish this guy?”

“Forget that,” I said. “Your shoes.”

“Right, right. Where do you clowns have all my shoes, shorty?”

Through his emotionless and stained masked, General Guy wheezed. “I have an offer—”

“Lemme stop you there, jerk,” Minh said, stomping her dusty foot on the defeated Shy Guy. “You tried to murder us, and now you wanna make deals with us?”

“What offer?” Daisy folded her arms.

“In exchange for not being persecuted or captured by either the Mushroom Kingdom or Sarasaland government, we will return your shoe—”

Penelope forced her toes in his mouth right then and there. Now the Shy Guy had a mouthful of sweat, filth, and the spit of at least three other people.

The girl’s heavy breathing was meant to hold back tears, but she failed. “We can search this whole place and find Miss Daisy’s stuff without you. Why WOULDN’T my mother arrest you and your friends? Huh? Huh?” She plucked her toes out his mouth.

“We will give Princess Daisy her shoe collection and offer her our military services. In exchange, we only ask that she treats the respected Shy Guys of Sarasaland no differently than the common man.”

Military services? What a joke. Sure, these guys were strong and coordinated. But that’s all they had going. And who was to say that they wouldn’t go back to robbing within Sarasaland? Four kingdoms in one country meant a lot of places from which to steal.

“Flower Toad, force your foot down his throat.” Daisy snapped her fingers.

“At your request, Princess Daisy!” the Toad got on her knees and reserved her foot into General Guy’s mask. If he thought Penelope’s toes were disgusting, Minh’s were gonna drain the life from him.

And they did. His screams got louder and louder to the point that Daisy covered her ears. Though she still had a smile on her face. Don’t think Minh stopped at the toes. She got around the halfway point of the ball of her foot. After that, she had to dip her other foot in that mouth. More warm grime, saliva, and sweat for General Guy.

When the Toad pulled her foot back, she scoffed. “Seriously, why have only bad guys been messing with my feet of late?”

“Toadette deserves to get some anger out, right?” Daisy grabbed my shoulder.

Unfortunately, my power sat so low that wiggling my toes was an exercise. Yet I wasn’t stupid enough to waste an opportunity! I slammed my heel straight into General Guy’s body before falling. Simple, yet effective.

Daisy let out a chuckle. “Perfect. Now, bring me my shoe collection, and we have a deal.”

“What?” Our mouths moved faster than our brains, babbling out undecipherable nonsense.

The princess put her hands in her pockets. “Hey, I’m pissed like the rest of you. But if I got these guys working for me, for a good cause, then why lock ’em up here. Besides…” She sighed. “Princess Daisy is clearly not the best ruler in the world. My new goal is to become the best princess the world has known and to do that, I need to help these Shy Guys. Since they’ll help me, doesn’t that sound sweet for all of us?”

“Jail!” Penelope shook her head.

Minh nodded. “He wanted to shoot a little girl.”

“She’s making the right choice, you two.”

Penelope and Minh gawked at me. The pink-spotted Toad stuck her hand out in confusion. Even a person like Minh, who was deemed loveable to her core, couldn’t shake the fact that she could’ve been killed. Through all our years going through life, that was the one constant she couldn’t bring herself to forgive others for.

“Toadette,” she softly said, “we gotta at least deal with General Guy. You almost… I…”

“And Daisy abused me on my first day working with her.” I faced the princess, whose posture remained stiff. “She’s still got some prejudice in her right now, and the Shy Guys still got murderous goals. But if we’re gonna let Daisy improve, it’s only fair we let these guys improve.”

I stepped on General Guy one more time. “After all, they’re not gonna hurt us anymore. RIGHT?”

“It’d be a great… conflict of interest,” the Shy Guy leader groaned.

The princess pulled General Guy on his stubby feet. With a deep breath, the handshake was made.

While we watched groups of Shy Guys hastily push carts of footwear into the room, I attended to Penelope’s body. Even though she took less damage than me, she still had a nasty lump on her forehead. In addition, the girl ached from head to toe, so she needed both of us Toads to carry her throughout the Toy Box. We parked on a set of large blocks, finally able to relax.

Minh patted her on the head with a giggle. “Bet you’re dying to get your feet licked proper, huh?”

“Egh… I think I’ve had enough tongues on my feet for one day.”

“Tell me about it,” I said. “Your mom hired me as some footslave. I missed the memo where I’d have to get my feet messed with on a daily basis.”

“Hehe, this was the perfect week for you to learn about my secret, huh?” Minh poked at my stomach.

I held my head up against the bright lights above us. Despite knowing my future would require more time spent with Her Highness and that Minh’s foot fetish thing would haunt me forever, I just laughed.

No matter how many times I nearly died or how many times I got tickled against my will, this had been an exciting part of my life. They always say to appreciate the good things to make the most of your short existence. While these weren’t exactly good, they sure were memorable. How could I forget burning a dude’s nose with my toes in the desert or watching the princess dominate a family on a bus?

Raising my feet to the light, I sighed a breath of relief, optimistic for the following days. 

Chapter Text

My thumbs ached as they pushed into this firm, solid object. And my eyes blinked rapidly, for the bright colours all swirled into one incohesive mess. But worst of all, a certain somebody wasn’t in the room with me.

Massaging Her Highness’s feet after my limited sleep last night was an uphill battle. Seriously, just crawling my fingers to her toes felt like a work-out.

“More pressure on the heels, Toadette.”

“Y-Yes, Your Highness!” I dug my nails into my skin to keep me wide awake.

Not even Her Highness’s gross feet could hold my attention because they were so plain today. No nail polish covered her toes, and touching her feet was like touching a road. Either the woman needed a lotion refill, or she needed a brand-new pedicure. If I wanted, I could light a match against these dry soles.

What was I doing wasting my time with Her Highness when the princess I spent more time with was leaving?

“Despite your abysmal foot worship skills,” Her Highness said, “your other abilities intrigue me, Toadette.”

“Other abilities?”

She jammed her big toe in my mouth. “I hired you intending for you to work on my feet. Yet here you are fighting Shy Guys, swimming through an ocean of sand, and parenting my daughter when I’m occupied. Getting some value out of you is better than none.”

To think that I’ve constantly been risking my life when I was signed up as an official “foot slave”.

“Thank you, Your Highness.” I continued sucking her massive toe as if unphased.

“At least I’ll soon be able to train you proper once Daisy is back in Sarasaland.

To my joy, Her Highness had to leave a few minutes later. And she gave me a new task. I was to help the Shy Guy’s board Daisy’s shoes onto the airplane. Yes, the airplane was on the castle’s roof again. Maybe the rich don’t know what airports are.

It didn’t get any less strange working with the same people who wanted to kill us yesterday. Even speaking to the Shy Guys was a test, for I maintained my silence throughout the backbreaking ordeal.

Why were these things so heavy?

Whenever I got the chance, I handled carrying Princess Daisy’s non-metallic footwear. Her golden shoes took the wind out of me, and no, it wasn’t because of the smell. Just like her soccer ball, it was a mystery how she could walk in all these clunkers.

But even carrying the non-metallic shoes reached its toll. Every time I chucked one into the airplane, a bit of my energy fizzled. Slowly and slowly, until I was running on backup power.

“Sun’s not even down and you’re already knocked out?”

Daisy shook me back to life. There was no telling how long I’d fallen asleep on this plane. That’s what happens when you spend most of your night tossing and turning instead of getting some proper rest.

“Sorry.” I stumbled to my feet, rubbing my eyes.

“I take it the other Toad’s dead to the world, too.”

I nodded. As my vision gradually cleared, I peeked out a window. Before I fell asleep, the sky was a vivid blue with only the occasional cloud. Now, clouds crowded the air for miles, and the sky adopted an orange hue.

Everything was freaking orange. The sky, the plane’s interior, the princess’s shirt! What next? Would an orange Shy Guy waltz in here?

“Would you believe I almost went to sleep in the shower?” I sped to the plane’s door, only to be hoisted back.

“Hey, don’t kill yourself.” Daisy shoved me in a chair. “They got all my shoes on board already. Plane’s taking off in half an hour.”

A look around the plane’s interior confirmed that. Every single luggage rack was filled with bags of shoes. The princess’s sneakers must’ve been in one of them, for they definitely weren’t on her feet.

As if on cue, a very black sole slammed on my lap. “If I regret anything,” the princess said, “it’s that you never got to experience my feet at their smelliest.”

“Please. That’s a blessing.”

“Oh really?” She squirmed her foot under my shirt. “Guess I gotta surprise you when I come back.”

Come back? Daisy didn’t seem like the type who travelled out of her land on a regular basis. Perhaps she’d return months later, or even years. By then, I might be out the castle and in a completely different kingdom. Yet for some reason, my lips lacked the courage to tell her about that possibility.

Thankfully, her foot broke the awkward silence. It slapped my side, was frigid to the touch, and the rough dirt texture stood out as it crawled on my belly.

Daisy then threw her head back. “Before we’re out of here, why don’t you give my toes a little sucking?”

“Is that an order or a suggestion?” I raised an eyebrow.

“You tell me.”

Although Daisy’s foot was dirty, I overstated how filthy it truly was. It wasn’t anything like Minh, okay? The ball of her foot and the heel were the filthiest parts, and they were light grey. It looked more like she stepped on a chalk drawing than anything else.

Taking a deep breath, I shoved my face into her foot.

When I took that first lick, the princess tightened her grip on her seat.

“Could be worse,” I muttered. At this point, I’d licked so many feet that I was becoming numb to the pain. After all, they clearly couldn’t kill me. I had some invincibility if I survived licking Minh’s feet after she walked through the sewers.

However, the flavour of Daisy’s foot was still nothing desirable. It was salty, especially around the toe area. Unlike Her Highness’s foot, this one remained soft despite the dirt’s texture resembling something rough. So, it was still bad. But a slightly better badness, you know?

Her other foot soon joined the party, playing with my braids while I sucked on its sibling.

“I don’t think I can bear to be away from your mouth anymore,” she said. “Amateurish as you are, you for sure have a uniqueness.”

My tone was confused. “Thank you.”

“Ooh, lick between my toes. Lemme see that tongue.”

My face tensed as I slid my tongue between all of the princess’s toes. On the upside, the dustiness meant that there wasn’t some slimy sweat waiting for me. On the downside, pebbles, sand, and other mucky bits were indeed waiting for me. Though the amount was minimal, it added an unwanted crunch to this experience.

Daisy put her finger on her lip. “Right there… Yes…”

“Are you getting off to this?” I asked, completely dropping any lingering formality.

The princess kept moaning before pinching my cheeks with her toes. Without a clue what to do, I continued to lick her soles. But it was here when my tongue started to malfunction. Licking feet for a long time meant lots of saliva usage, and that supply was running thin.

“I’m done,” I sighed.

SQUISH!

And just like that, those orange toes penetrated my mouth. The princess grinned, licking her lips.

“Keep sucking,” she sang. “You’ll be done when I say you’re done.”

Even if my jaw was on the verge of falling off, I didn’t hesitate. The slow slurping of her toes was joined by Daisy moaning louder. In short time, she gasped, flexing her drenched toes in my mouth. I opened my eyes, and her foot instantly fell.

Her hand rested atop her groin as she quivered. Adding to my discomfort, her breathing was intense. There was no questioning what just happened.

Speechless, I hopped on my feet, ready to bounce from this place.

“Don’t go yet,” Daisy called. “I still got something for you.”

“I’m fine. You know, I still gotta get some proper sleep. It was nice meeting you and—”

My words fell on deaf ears, for Daisy cleared the distance between us in three long strides. She vaulted over a set of seats and threw me one of the transparent bags. A deeper look revealed a pair of orange flip-flops, black high heels, white slippers, and yellow flats.

“These look nice,” I said, shrugging.

“They’re for the gay girl. Not my stinkiest shoes by a long shot, but they’ll knock a Toad out. Except for those heels.”

“Oh, she’ll find a way to love them,” I assured her.

“Or, here’s an even better idea.” The princess patted me on the head. “Those are back from when I was 15, so my feet weren’t as godly in size. So, I’m betting they’d fit you like a glove.” 

My jaw dropped. I struggled to remember the last time I’d gotten a new pair of shoes, especially via someone else. On top of that, these heels stood out because of their elegance. Bright jewels twinkled against that dark frame as if they were shooting stars in the night sky.

I looked up at the princess, who stood with a smirk.

“You’re welcome, shorty— OH!”

She tumbled to the floor as I disappeared into her chest. I don’t believe I even uttered the words “thank you”. My eyes were too busy fighting back the waterworks.

Daisy returned the hug. “I’d love to sit here squeezing you, but in case you didn’t notice…”

The princess pointed to a bright sign hanging above the cabin door that read: SEATBELT ON. Its red glow signified the end of our last meeting.

Before she guided me off the jet, Daisy dug into her pocket and shoved something into mine.

“What’s that?” I felt the object through my shorts, and the surface was very inconsistent.

“In case Peach isn’t paying you well, that oughta keep you good for now.”

She hoisted me out the plane so quickly that I hit the roof stomach-first. The only thing that broke my fall was this clunky bag of shoes. Behind me, the plane’s engines roared. And the princess’s voice gradually faded to the wind of the engines.

“Thanks a bunch! If I don’t visit soon, feel free to come to—”

WHOOSH!

She was gone.

That night, I ate my food in the castle’s outdoor courtyard. It was just some warm lasagne filled with chunks of meat. And while I ate my meal by the Eternal Star statue, Minh talked and talked on the phone.

“Staying open was a mistake. My feet were moving faster than my mind, even with that little nap,” she yawned, heavy water running in the background.

I swallowed. “Take a day off tomorrow and you can spend the whole time smelling Princess Daisy’s nasty shoes.”

THUD!

“Did you just fall?” I asked.

“What kind of shoes?” Minh squealed, stomping like a dancer. “What do they smell like?”

“Be patient. The only shoes you’re not getting are these fresh heels.”

Really, a brand-new shoe wardrobe was becoming ten times more necessary for me. I had no sneakers now, and only a pair of cheap flip-flops and smelly flats. Those flats were killer weapons, but I couldn’t bring them to every event. What if I found the perfect man and he got a whiff?

Minh pulled back curtains and the water’s volume grew. “Heels ain’t my cup of tea. But I bet you’d look real spicy in some.”

“Thank you.”

“Just being honest,” she giggled.

“No, no,” I said. “I meant for saving us in the Dry Dry Ruins, and then again in the Toy Box. I kinda thought you were gonna hold us back.”

She paused. “How?”

“You’re scared of the dark, you’re scared of Boos, and I can outrun you at any point.” I smiled. “But, if you weren’t there, we wouldn’t be here right now.”

Minh’s tone remained chipper. “Glad I didn’t disappoint. And it was worth it to taste your warm feet more than once.”

“Ew!” Instead of gagging, I giggled. “Go to sleep already.”

“Love you, too,” she said.

Once the call ended, I followed my own advice. After rummaging through the castle’s kitchen and soaping myself from head to toe, I sunk under the thick blankets. Though, getting to sleep was easier said than done. The only thing going through my head was what would be in store for me for these next days. Well, if I handled stuff this far, I could handle a few more weeks. Maybe even a month.

Things couldn’t get any weirder than having to fight against Shy Guys with my feet, right? On that note, I conked out.

Chapter Text

“Ouch!”

How did I forget the brush hanging from my hair when I was standing in front of a mirror? Wrestling the tool out of this pink blanket on my head was like pulling teeth.

These past two weeks turned me into a demon. All my nails lacked polish, heavy bags tugged on my eyes, and my shoulders visibly throbbed. Yet, as exhausted as I was, nothing would stop me from working. After all, I still had a roof over my head and guaranteed food. So long as the castle kept those benefits coming, where was I going? Plus, a certain golden-hair child would miss me too much.

Knock, knock, knock, knock-knock, knock… Knock!

Right on schedule. I slumped to the door and let the girl in.

“Good morning, Miss Toadette.” Penelope, Her Highness’s energetic daughter, greeted me in that same manner every day. Afterwards, she’d sit on the closed toilet to chat my ear off as I prepared myself.

Her Highness treated this child like a relay device, delivering instructions through her. I trembled at the thought of what scheme she’d planned for me today. Nothing could be worse than yesterday when I had to lick my own dinner off her giant feet. Eck.

“Does your mom have a torture wheel she chooses my tasks from?”

“Oh, right.” Penelope retrieved a yellow note from her shorts. “She left to do some boring garbage again.”

Peach’s handwriting was always so elegant. Cursive, a stylish form of writing that many Toad Town citizens considered a distant memory. Her note read:

“I’m attending to important matters this morning. I expect 15 gallons, or 57 litres, of bubble and red berry juice. Visit the flower Toad, and she will fill you in.”

“Thank the stars!” I dropped to my knees. “Every other day, it’s like she’s trying to crush my lungs with those feet.”

“Too bad you never get any free time,” Penelope sighed.

“And that bothers you why?”

“I only see you for about an hour now. I don’t even get a chance to use you properly like Mother claimed I could.”

I shuffled to the closet. “Take that up with her, kid. I don’t make my schedule.”

A more casual set of clothes would be perfect for whatever she needed me to do. Managing some juice? Okay, the regular pink shirt and black shorts served me well.

But instead of travelling with my flats, I selected my fresher flip-flops. As much as I preferred covering up my toes in public, slumping into bed with putrid feet wasn’t ideal. Besides, I’d been wearing those flats non-stop. They needed some rest before I ended up obliterating the insoles.

“Alright, out ya go.” I dragged Penelope out the room, locked the door, and made a run downstairs.

As I passed the buildings to Minh’s shop, my feet complained. Walking in flip-flops was such a foreign ordeal at this point. The culprit? The lack of a firm backstrap. Once my legs began to burn, it started to set in just how much more effort I had to put into walking in these shoes. I needed to lift my legs higher to move at a decent pace. So, was this how it was like to walk in heavy gravity?

Adding to my embarrassment, I was so naked! Everyone could notice my feet now, and it seemed everyone was fixated on my soles. As if the sound of my heels slapping against the rubber caught their attention.

Did my feet stink already from this short walk? Was my weird walking attracting all these people? Or was I going crazy?

Ding, ding…

Gasping, I entered Minh’s building, not daring to look at the outside world. Boy, these flip-flops would take a while to get used to.

But once in here, my deep anxieties faded. This wooden place was like a second home with how familiar I’d become with it. Though the Toad herself only made it an official residence three years ago, she’d been managing this place as early as sixth grade. Talk about dedication. Of all the things I could say about my best friend, I couldn’t take away her intense passion. And speak of the devil…

“Just about to call you.” Wasting no time, she pulled me across the floor until we reached a backdoor. Seven large deadbolts prevented it from even budging.

“You really can’t simplify that, huh?” I asked, arms folded.

“Why take a risk?”

With the last bolt retracted, we entered the breathtaking mass of plants. Though Minh’s land appeared small on the outside, this garden was a colosseum. Whether it be the glass walls revealing the outside world or the densely packed foliage giving the illusion of endless crops.

In the southeast corner sat two crates. Then in front of them was a wooden tub, no bigger than a child’s inflatable pool.

“The faster we get these things to the castle, the better.” I swooped a crate into the air like nothing. Huh. For something full of juice, this thing was lighter than a flashlight. I shook it up and down, waiting for some sound to register. “Hold on. Is this empty?”

Minh carried a beige sack in my direction. “Yep. Still gotta make the juice, ya know.”

“Still gotta make it?” My grip tightened. “You didn’t think about starting before I walked here?”

“Wouldn’t have changed that much. Besides, it shouldn’t take us any more than three hours. And guess what?” The Toad dipped hundreds of cherry-coloured berries into the tub. “Only one of those hours is gonna be spent crushing the lil’ berries.”

I cocked my head. “We gotta crush them?”

Minh froze. “Yes. Are you feeling good?”

Try getting less than six hours of sleep for two weeks and see if you feel good. This was just perfect. I hiked my knees to get here, and now I’d have to work my feet ten times harder. To prepare for the inevitable, I tossed my flip-flops and wiped the undersides of my feet. They were pretty clean, especially compared to hers.

While I always tried to keep my soles as spotless as they could be, Minh’s were just as dusty as ever. But wait. Weren’t we meant to crush berries?

I gagged upon seeing her stick her foot into the tub.

“Kidding!” With a giggle, she approached a hose and let its water spray her feet. “I can’t be out here getting people sick, ya know.”

“Says the girl who wants her future husband scraping dirt off her feet with his teeth.”

“A little dirt ain’t ever killed anyone. Last time I checked, you’re still breathing after our little predicament in the toy box.”

She said it like it was something to be proud of. After we left that place, I consumed a whole bottle of mouthwash just to cleanse my soul. I could never forget that image… Being locked in a chair, forced to suck on her dirty toes or become a Fried Shroom.

“Let’s go,” she said, wiggling her drenched toes.

Immediately, the sensation was surreal. Dipping my toes into these berries was like standing on hundreds of marbles. However, most marbles don’t break when you simply move your toes. These red suckers exploded like miniature bombs at every sudden movement.

SQUISH!

Like now. Berry juice splashed all over my feet. Although my feet were so deep that I couldn’t see the results, the liquid dominated my sense of touch. Imagine a cold, slimy yet runny sensation pooling on the tops of your feet.

Minh kicked into the berries, exploding ten or more on impact. Bouts of juice rose into the air as high as our knees. And as her foot met mine underneath the mass of fruit, she let out a soft moan. Almost instinctively, I tried to step away. But her instincts had a mind of their own. Where I inched, she followed. As soon as her toes rubbed mine for a second time, I gave her a shove.

“I can’t wait to taste the results right after this,” she sang.

“Isn’t juice supposed to be processed before you drink it?”

“If I wanna lick it off my own foot, there’s nothing stopping me, Toadette.”

As my heels popped some berries, I rolled my eyes. Ever since she let her little foot fetish slip, it got mentioned in all our conversations. My brain constantly screamed, “Shut up!” But my vocal cords never created the message.

“What doesn’t turn you on?” I asked.

“Boos, woman-part kicking, and litterbugs.”

“Litterbugs?” I smirked. “Just cut out a long list of future husbands, don’t you think?”

SPLASH!

Her foot drilled into the berries with power. “So? Screw ‘em. Always messing up the grass and crushing plants with their stupid cans. Even when there’s a trash bin just a few steps— GAH!”

Indeed, she worked twice as hard now. If angering Minh meant we could speed this crushing up, so be it. My poor legs were ready to collapse, and we’d only been going for five minutes. Eventually, the berry juice numbed my toes under its density, and the delicate fruit skin camped under my nails. Yet as bizarre as this was, it was the therapy I needed. Was I getting delusional, or was the warmth simply that soothing?

“Killing our environment isn’t funny, Toadette!”

“Calm down, weirdo.” I flicked her nose. “I’m just trying to enjoy myself with this crushing. At least it’s not getting me wet like a freak.”

Minh paused.

“Now that you mention it, what does turn you on?”

I shrugged, but Minh kept probing me. She must’ve figured I’d leak my own secrets, since she let hers slip. But I had nothing to rival the strangeness of adoring feet. Since the beginning, my interests have been quite plain. Muscular Toads, deep voices…

“You have nothing major, do you?”

“Can’t I think?” I resumed crushing the berries, trying to come up with some response. Great, now I was stomping with rage. So what if I didn’t have any weird kinks? That made me normal like anyone else.

20 minutes of berry splattering later, I fell out the tub. Never did I imagine this would be such a strain on my body. Another splash soon followed before two bloodied legs stood before me. 

Okay, it was berry juice. But Minh appeared nearly as exhausted as me as she plopped immediately.

“Phew… Let’s see how this is.”

The girl sat criss-cross, pulling her right foot to her face. First, she stared at the sole as if she were mesmerised. It looked no different from mine, red as a ruby. And yet she smiled like a child opening her Christmas presents.

Before I could say anything, she took the dreaded lick up her sole. It lasted twenty seconds, from heel to toe. You could see every drop of red attach to her tongue as the girl’s mouth ascended the foot. Once she reached the toes, the tongue returned, and she smacked her lips. But rather than being on the verge of vomiting, I sat dumbfounded. How was this better than just drinking the juice directly? What moron would want to lick something off their feet?

Why ask these questions when clearly someone was willing to do all that? Minh took a second lick, scooping up any deep red bits she missed. Even when she licked the same spot, a crimson stain lingered on the bottom of her foot. It’d take her hose to clean that off.

Panting, I humoured her. “You gonna tell me how it tastes?”

She gulped. “You never tried it before? Give it a go. We actually sweetened it up some.” Then she sucked her big toe.

Unfortunately, the juice wasn’t anywhere to be found on my hands. Only on my feet. And even if I cared to figure the flavour out, I needed to recover energy.

I flipped open my phone. Interestingly, a new message was on the screen, but it lacked a contact name. Seemed like a generic number, probably from some scammer. Nevertheless, I read it.

“Mother needs all the berry juice within 1 hour. Love, Penelope.”

Firstly, how did she get my number? Secondly, an hour? Whatever happened to having the whole day? The tension only increased when I saw when the message was sent: 25 minutes ago.

I shot up and headed for the hose. “Her Highness said we only got around 30 minutes!”

“30? That’s not right—”

“It is now!” I blasted the water onto my soles. “Get the other berries ready!”

As Minh frantically poured the bubble berries into a second tub, I brainstormed. If we stomped like normal, we wouldn’t make any progress. In theory, our butts could pop a load of berries at once. But there seemed to be a feet-only rule with this crushing, and the tub was too tiny to accommodate both our rears. Our problem kept going from bad to worse.

Two ideas down the toilet. And none were coming into existence.

“I got it!”

Minh sprinted into the building, then dashed out as if she were on fire. My stomach turned once I laid eyes on the golden and red object in her hands. As I shook my head, she nodded faster and faster.

“You wanna get this done?” she asked.

“We’ll obliterate this entire garden.”

“Nuh-uh. Not if one of us eats a baby piece of it. Forgot that?”

She broke a piece off the pulsing mushroom, aiming it at my lips. Having my body grow in size was out of the question. Did she want me convulsing in pain later on?

“You eat it!” I pushed her hand away.

“Heck no!” Minh slammed the Mega Mushroom chunk in my hands and backed away. “I’m losing track of how many times my bones cracked at this point.”

Oh, like I wanted that sensation in my body. But the clock was ticking, and for every second we were late, the angrier Her Highness became. So I opened my mouth, preparing for this Mega Mushroom to possess me.

Minh smiled. “Look, you’ll be o— MMF!”

In that instant, I jammed the piece down Minh’s gullet. Her panic caused her to swallow it immediately. After a period of staring at one another, speechless, Minh frantically clawed at her stomach.

Just as she shouted, a bubbling sound grew along with her body. To someone foreign to our land, this would be a surreal sight. Her body grew by one millimetre every fraction of a second. While I apologised without pausing for a hint of air, Minh began to dwarf me and her garden. She swelled up like a beach ball, then her body readjusted itself to adapt to her grander size.

Minh became nearly six metres taller than me. If you need a reference, her big toe was larger than my head. As nervous as I was, I pointed at the tub. Hundreds of bubble berries waited to be crushed.

“Help me,” she moaned, pushing against the glass ceiling.

“Later, later!” I jumped like a spastic bug. “Crush these berries first!”

My heart plummeted as the red left Minh’s face, overcome by a stark blue. Damn. How long had it been since she had a Mega Mushroom? If I didn’t get her to handle those berries right now, I’d have to be the lab rodent. And two sickly Toads wouldn’t do so well delivering these to Her Highness.

“Come on, you can do it!” I yelled, standing closer to the berries. “Don’t overthink—”

SPLASH!!

It didn’t register as a regular crush. Instead, warm juice weighed on me, in addition to something heavier. Then I felt another large object sweep against my face as if to fish for me. So, this was what it felt like to have a giant foot kill you. I tried to fight my way out as two of Minh’s toes pinned my chest underneath this shallow berry sea.

First, I scratched her toe. After that failed, I bit her toe. What the hell? Still nothing! It took me licking her toe, attempting to tickle her, until I realised my efforts were in vain. How was a tiny Toad meant to handle a giant’s foot?

But soon, the pressure lightened. I coughed as soon as my lungs could draw in oxygen, and Minh’s body went through the motions again. Her deep groaning, body warping, and the otherworldly Mega Mushroom odour imprinted this experience into my mind. Never had I seen her so uncomfortable from transforming.

She dropped to her knees, panting. The poor girl’s face was as purple as the bubble berries.

I let out a nervous chuckle. “That brings back memories, huh?”

“Not cool.”

“I said I was sorry,” I mumbled, wiping the juice off my glasses. “You need some kind of prize?”

PLOP!

Just like that, I shoved my toes into her mouth. These toes were drenched in bubble berry juice, so Minh could savour the flavour for as long as she needed. Well, until we had to get a move on, actually. Although the Toad sucked on them, her half-closed eyes kept reminding me she was unpleased.

“Okay,” I said, taking my toes back. “Start your little packaging process, and we’ll be outta here.”

As Minh limped inside her building, I tapped my toes against the ground. What the hell was going through my mind? For some reason, my finger chose to travel between my unlicked toes. And then my mouth opened. Once the fruit juice dabbed onto my tongue, I dropped to this soft floor.

Sucking my own toes felt so dirty, and yet it tasted so amazing. So sweet… I didn’t care if licking up my sole sent more juice on my cheeks. Tasting this bubble berry liquid was the highlight of my day so far. Though, I kept my eyes locked on that door, waiting for Minh to pop out any minute. The moment I heard so much as a creak, my foot was hitting the ground.

For about 30 more seconds, I licked from heel to toe until most of the substance was in my mouth.

Creak…

Time up! I hopped onto my feet, rushing to Minh’s side as she heaved a thick hose-like tool.

 “Don’t worry, I gotcha,” I said, supporting her body.

“Uh-huh…”

I shrugged. “What?”

Minh’s eyes focused on my feet before looking at the tub with a faint smirk. “Nothing.”

As I silently smacked my lips, it hit me like a brick. My tongue. It must’ve gone from pink to purple, and like an idiot, I opened my mouth first. Well, so what? I wasn’t licking my feet because I enjoyed it like a freak. All I wanted was to taste the bubble berry juice. Nothing more.

I stared back at my heel, seeing a sliver of juice on the back of it before seeing how it stained my legs. If I wanted to be more subtle, I should’ve stuck to licking my fingers.

But miraculously, we got the juices packaged, labelled, and ready to go. Unfortunately, time forced us to sprint these crates to the castle. Not only did we have to make this trip in hot weather, but in our flip-flops.

“Ow!” Minh lagged behind me, frequently pausing to address the pain in her body.

“Think of something positive,” I suggested. “Like you’re on your way to a handsome masseuse.”

Despite this, she’d catch up to me for one reason. Because remnants of juice still lingered on my feet — even after a hose-washing — my flip-flops refused to let go. It was like trekking in sludge, and the sun only intensified the stickiness. At least Minh got a lovely view.

“You know, I’m still happy you found out about my foot fetish.”

“Really?”

“I mean,” she put her head up, “I’ve got 20 times less stress than when I was hiding it around you. Plus, I can be open about it with Her Highness’s daughter? What’s not to love about that?”

Life was truly an endless closet for Minh. Never would I forget the night she called me on the phone, wailing about her parents discovering another secret of hers. You know, being unable to keep her hands off a certain gender. Yet, as much as I mocked her little foot thing these past weeks, she still seemed excited that I knew about it. As long as her spirits were up, and she didn’t get too creepy, all was fine.

“Why don’t you go public with it?” I asked, awaiting the castle gate to open. “If it makes you happy—”

“There are some things I don’t need the world to know, Toadette.”

“Well then…”

After we dropped the crates, Her Highness observed as a Toad measured their dimensions and weights. If some calculations were off, I’d rip my braids out.

“Everything checks out, Your Highness.”

“Excellent,” spoke the princess. “Bring them to the kitchen.”

A few more Toads helped to lift the crates away, and Her Highness patted me on the head. I swear, this lady loved to touch me more than her own daughter.

“Once again, your non-worship skills surpass your worship skills. But we’ll improve that skill in due time.”

“Thank you, Your Highness.” Giving her a thanks made me sick. I just didn’t want to risk a facial injury.

Her Highness looked to Minh. “And good work, flower girl, for being so efficient under a tighter limit.”

Excuse me? The person who wasn’t me got more credit? Minh took the compliment with a big smile and laugh, thanking the princess with all her heart. But I only looked in disbelief.

“Are there any more tasks for today, Your Highness?” I asked.

“Today? Oh, I’ve one more for you, Toadette.”

Those words cast terror in my soul.

Chapter Text

Her Highness reached into her dress and then pulled out two envelopes. They stuck to my hand like glue as she explained my next mission.

“I’m searching for a pair of more out-there footwear in preparation for this year’s event. And you’re going to help me obtain these shoes, won’t you, Toadette?”

Though I nodded, I didn’t have the slightest clue what she was talking about.

Her Highness handed a third yellow envelope to Minh T. “And I’ve a special task for you too. You’re going to obtain some special seeds from this lady to plant at the festival.”

“Really?” Minh nearly crushed the envelope as she grinned.

I read the address on the envelope aloud. “Lady Bow. Boo’s Mansion, Forever For—”

Next thing I knew, Minh slammed the paper in my hand and strolled away, whistling. Did she really think I was going into that forest alone? As I caught up with her, Her Highness shouted.

“Be back no later than tomorrow morning.”

With every step we took outside those gates, Minh’s heart thumped harder and harder. Eventually, it sounded like her chest would crack open. Even while rummaging in the shop, the Toad couldn’t stop muttering to herself like a crazy lady.

“We’re gonna die. We’re gonna die. We’re gonna die.”

“You’re gonna die if you don’t zip it for a minute,” I said. I crossed the wooden floor, plucking an orange from a little tree. Some things never changed, such as my poor eating habits. Breakfast had become a foreign concept to me so long ago that I jumped straight into snacks and lunch.

“Alright, that’s that.” Minh emerged from behind the counter with a green backpack. This thing was ready to burst, just like how she stuffed Penelope’s bag. “Water, my sweater, Boo Repellent, extra—”

“Boo Repellent?” I snickered. “You really believe that works?”

“I KNOW it’ll keep their fingerless hands off me.”

Minh, ladies and gentlemen. The Toad with no issues licking diseased feet but will have a heart attack if a Boo even looks at her.

The only concerning part of this trip was my choice of shoes. In these flip-flops, my feet were totally vulnerable. A sharp branch could pierce my foot, especially given the location’s lighting qualities. But since we had already left the castle, we weren’t returning to fetch another pair of shoes. On the other hand, Minh seemed to be going in flip-flops anyway, so perhaps I was worrying too much.

“Let’s hurry before it gets late,” she whined.

She got no argument from me. The sooner we could get out that forest, the better. After locking the doors, Minh and I headed south, then east.

“Halt!!”

I shrieked as a spear came one inch away from penetrating my chest. A blue-spotted Toad in a robe glared at me, arms trembling.

“Oh, not this again.” I carefully guided the spear away from me, barely facing any resistance from this so-called guard. Every time I’d entered Forever Forest for the past few years, he’d be standing his ground. Too bad it never stopped me before.

“Hi-ya, Fice T.”

“Both of you need to turn around,” he said in his light voice. “I cannot let you into Forever Forest.”

“Mmm-hmm, watch.”

Like always, I simply swerved to the side, giving me a clear path into the forest.

“OW!”

The Toad’s weight dug into my back. Did he really have to jab me right in my butt cheek? No matter how much effort I exerted, Fice T. refused to budge. All he could insist was that Forever Forest was too dangerous. As if it wasn’t dangerous the last few times I travelled there.

But he had the spear. Minh and I were empty-handed regarding weapons. Maybe we should’ve gone back to get my flats…

“You heard him. Guess we’re not going, Toadette.”

“Yes we are,” I gasped, reaching into my pocket. “Or else a certain guard’s getting fired for defying Her Highness’s orders!”

Holding the envelope as high as possible, I made sure Fice T. saw that iconic emblem of our leader. Nobody could confuse it with a princess of any other kingdom unless they were blind. A simple crown with blue jewels on the left and right, and a ruby gem in the middle. The only other addition was a horizontal line that split the crown into two halves.

Fice T. stiffened and backed up. “Very well. Go forward.”

“No, no, buddy,” I said, backing him into the brick structure. “Where’s my apology for the little stab earlier?”

He gave a feeble apology, but I stood there with my arms crossed. He needed to do something more than that. Something that would amuse me after the hellish three weeks I experienced. Unfortunately, no Boo was in sight to scare the living daylights out of this guard. No, I had to exploit another fear.

My smile grew wider. “If you’re sorry, suck Minh T.’s big toe.”

The two Toads’ reactions were on opposite sides of the spectrum. Minh’s mouth was agape as she looked at her stained toes. But Fice T.’s spear almost dug into his own heart.

“No! Please, no!” he begged.

“Guess I won’t forgive you any time soon,” I said. How fortunate that Fice T. had so few friends. Otherwise this wouldn’t be working at all.

The guard gulped, still backed against the wall. Minh, with a giggle, swung her hips around as she approached him. The slapping sounds of the shoes against her heels already made his blood chill, but seeing those dusty soles got Fice T. panicked. He whimpered, shutting his eyes once Minh kicked the pink flip-flop off.

Minh might’ve been strange with her intense love of feet. However, Fice T.’s deep fear of feet struck me as equally bizarre. Sure, feet are disgusting and not to be loved. But how pathetic must you be to be scared of them?

Tears streamed out his eyes as the toe went into his mouth. The other toes appropriately made their home on his cheek, flexing while the guard cleaned the big one. Could this count as torture? Hmm… Considering he only had to suck one toe, calling it torture would be a stretch. It wasn’t like I told him to lick her whole foot spotless. That’d be a fate worse than death, given her hygiene habits.

“It’s okay,” Minh assured, slowly thrusting her toe. “Dirt’s healthy.”

Fice T. continued groaning as the other toes tried to gather inside his mouth. But if we didn’t get a move on now, we weren’t leaving this forest on time.

“That’s enough,” I said, summoning Minh to follow me.

“Okay!”

After she yanked her toe out, Fice T. spat a greyish liquid into the dirt. He wiped his tongue off as much as he could, only stopping once Minh gave him a hug and kiss. She said something to him, then took her shoe and met me at the entrance to Forever Forest. As much fun as we just had, our moods slid into the negative zone once we saw the dull colours.

I took the first step. Then, all of a sudden, the sky turned grey. Minh then took the next step ahead of me.

“BOO!”

“AAAAH!!”

She gripped her chest, spewing spores into the atmosphere. Her ranting didn’t deter my laughter, not one bit. But I wasn’t gonna play with her like that in the forest. I wasn’t that cruel, was I?

A few more steps later, darkness swallowed the daylight.

“You brought a flashlight?” I asked.

“I look crazy enough to walk here without a light?” Minh activated a beam ahead of us, giving us moderate lighting.

“Let’s hope we can navigate this place.”

The Toad blocked my path. “You did not just say ‘let’s hope’.”

Unlike Dry Dry Desert, I could count the times I travelled through Forever Forest on the one hand. And during those trips, the distance was short. Never did they ask me to hike to Boo’s Mansion. Giving Minh this info would’ve made her return to Toad Town screaming. However, wrapping my hand around hers would have the opposite effect.

“We’ll be fine,” I lied.

The dark trees crackled over us like lightning bolts, and the bushes shook with each step. Worst of all, everything here looked the same. Left, right, up, it didn’t matter where the flashlight pointed. The bluish grass and muted dirt blended together into a tiring mess.

“Look on the bright side,” I said. “Soon as we’re outta here, your feet will be the blackest they’ve ever been.”

“IF we get outta here.”

“We will. Then you can go back to having someone lick your gross feet.”

“AAH!”

Following that shriek, Minh constricted me like a snake. Her flashlight flickered on some bushes to our left. Atop these leaves spun flowers with giant red lips. Considering all the plants she adored, why were these out of the ordinary?

Hehehehehe…

Never mind. No plant should make a sound as unsettling as that slow, dying laughter.

“Toadette…” She dug her nails into me now. “Is that normal?”

“You tell me, flower expert.” Keeping a close eye on those plants, I pointed to the path directly opposite them. A horizontal branch protected it, coming up to our midsections. “Wanna bet on this path?”

“Whatever gets us away from those.”

She crawled under the branch, I hopped it, and we soon entered another vast area. The deeper we sunk into the forest, the more noises assaulted us. Snickering, rustling, growling, anything from our worst nightmares. Adding to my stress, I couldn’t let this get under my skin. Minh struggled to hold the flashlight stably, so this duo needed a protector. It’d been my responsibility for years, and today wouldn’t change that.

Yet continuing required a small sacrifice. Suddenly, the bottoms of my feet stopped kissing rubber and now felt cold soil.

“What are you doing?” Minh hunched over as I crammed my shoes in her bag.

“If we gotta run, I’m not taking chances in those. Next thing you know, I’ll be falling left and right.”

“I’d join ya and all, but look at where we are,” she whispered.

“Oh yeah,” I scoffed. “Like the Boos really wanna get their tongues anywhere near you or your—”

“La la la! I can’t hear you! I can’t hear you!”

SLAP!

After that slap, I held my hand over Minh’s. The more attention we drew to ourselves, the likelier it was that we’d invite unexpected company. She understood me with a nod, and we shared no words while exploring this massive circle. Time effectively came to a halt, for we noticed the same trees and bushes more than once. The exact same, mind you.

The durability of my feet also decreased a few minutes after ditching my shoes. Though the barefoot walking felt better initially, this squishy soil turned my feet into mush.

“Am I crazy, or is this place getting darker?” I whispered.

“This friggin’ wind…” Minh muttered, teeth chattering.

“Tell me about it. If I had corns on my feet, they’d have frozen off by now.”

“Ew…” At last, Minh could giggle again. “I like my feet natural, but not that natural.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

Her grip on my hand tightened. “Feet get dirty all the time, Toadette. So instead of getting queasy from it, my body’s programmed to adore the filth.”

“Shh!” I gripped her tighter, forcing her light to shine on the bushes.

Sunken behind the leaves, two white eyes glared at us. Its spinning body made me do a double take. So, enshrouded in a camouflaging green, a Forest Fuzzy waited to pounce on us. These freaks were nuts about anything with blood, but humans and Toads were favourites among them. As I shoved Minh towards the nearest pathway, its bulging eyes kept on me.

Thud!

Minh grunted, dropping her light as she struck the path’s protective branch.

“Go, go!” Mustering all my strength, I tossed her to the other side. But my reaction was too slow to avoid the Fuzzy. In an instant, it latched itself onto me like glue. Its high-pitched meeeooork cry played like nails on a chalkboard. Singlehandedly, it brought me to the ground.

“GET OFF!” I screamed, reaching behind. It felt like someone was repeatedly scraping the back of my head!

WHACK!

Though my head burnt, the pressure was no more. In seconds, I wobbled on my feet, leaning on something to keep me upright.

“Lemme bandage that up,” Minh said, rustling through her bag.

“I’m fine,” I insisted. “At least you got it before it multiplied.”

“They multiply now?”

Wincing, I led us down the new path and into another stupid circle. This time, my eyes focused on the bushes near the centre. Clearly, threats would linger there as well. Minh kept one arm wrapped around me even when I told her everything was okay. Come on, I wasn’t a baby anymore.

“Please, Toadette. You’re still bleeding.”

I spun around. “I. Am. Fine…”

Rustle, rustle…

Minh pointed at the bush before us. Then, disappointingly, a familiar giggling echoed through the forest.

“Why!?” I kicked the dirt. “We’re back at the start!”

“Good. ‘Cause we’re going home.”

“Says who?”

“Me.” Minh shined the flashlight on herself, fully illuminating her disapproving face.

“So clearly you don’t realise or care that this is MY job. If I don’t get these stupid shoes, guess what? You’re not the one getting tortured. That’s MY punishment!”

Not only was my breathing heavier, but hers as well. She pulled her phone out just to return it to her pocket.

“What?” I asked, hands on hips.

“Let’s just go. No signal anyways.”

Even if she had some signal, nobody programmed an extensive map for Forever Forest. It’d take too much effort. But, despite being less receptive, she still held my hand and let me lead us down the travelled path.

For three nerve-wracking hours, we combed the following circle. It only took us an additional hour since we looped back to the first ring again. But once we were on our fifth lap, I felt stupider than ever. Each time we walked past a specific path, red eyes flashed from a broken tree. A clue?

“Finally!”

Just like that, this forest casted us into its third circle of Hell. Denser trees, denser bushes, and pitch blackness. At most, the flashlight lit up two metres ahead of our feet. Speaking of my feet, where were they? They’d gotten so covered in this dirt that I could neither feel nor see them.

“On second thought, maybe I should put those shoes on again.”

“You really wanna stop?” Minh did a 360°, unable to note anything specific. “Besides, you look a lot better without shoes.”

“I bet,” I chuckled. “Probably not smart to get wet in these temperatures, you know.”

She pointed the flashlight at my feet. “When I see your feet, I see you naked. It’s… hot.”

As those words left her lips, the forest’s ambience awoke. First, the wind switched from mild to irritating. A heavy breeze would’ve been bad enough in this place, but the water droplet on my big toe froze my nerves. Minh looked me in the eyes, and we joined hands again.

We’d been through so much in life, we didn’t need words to communicate sometimes. Our only mission was finding some cover.

The bullet-like raindrops turned the soil into freezing mud under our feet. Minh’s flip-flops clung onto her feet for dear life while my heels obliterated the ground. And within the rustling of leaves and the thunderclouds, a high-pitched noise echoed among the trees.

“Fuzzies?” I asked, not daring to look back.

“Go suck on someone else!” Minh screamed.

Louder than her voice was the sound of howling. Immediately, we hopped the path closest to us. We were lost already, so what did it matter if we went deeper?

Just as we entered the next ring, my legs wobbled.

“Toadette!”

Minh dragged me along the frigid ground. Little did she know how badly she scraped my knees.

“Stop,” I groaned, stumbling to my feet. The next sprint started off strong, but I quickly changed my pace. Why was my vision getting so… fuzzy?

As Minh and I clung to each other, I began to brainstorm. Flip-flop attacks worked against the Shy Guys, but Fuzzies had always been tricky to slug. Minh got a stroke of luck. But what if we just confused the sound? Someone could’ve been sent to look for us, to save us.

“No, Toadette, what are you doing?”

I’d already spun on my heels and reversed directions. Minh could kill me later if I wasn’t already mutilated by this foe.

Just a few metres ahead, the breathing was loud and clear. This was it!

BONK!

Aside from my groaning, another voice let out a moan. The pitch was high, but the creature was too big to be a Fuzzy. It had to be Toad-sized. Once Minh caught up with me, she threw the flashlight to the ground.

“Toadette, I don’t know why you’re acting so not-smart today, but—”

Her words faded away. Through my wet glasses and fading vision, I spotted some yellow hair.

“Penelope?”

Chapter Text

Minh and I stood speechless, staring at the little girl before us.

“What are you doing here?” I screeched.

“Don’t be mad. But I wanted to—”

Time wouldn’t allow us to get mad. The cold temperature and endless raindrops made the perfect recipe for creating a sick Penelope.

Nearly tearing the girl’s arm off, I pushed against the freezing winds. My feet sunk so deep in the mud, it felt like I was swimming in a massive sinkhole. But after stomping over a soil river, Minh pointed us to a bushy path. Unlike the others, no branch protected this one. In fact, it was in the inner ring we’d been avoiding.

“You sure about this?” I asked. “Anything could be hiding in there.”

Minh spun behind and pushed me forward. “Sounds like a job for you.”

Once far enough on this path, my body received a refreshing warmth. Though the darkness remained, the flashlight revealed that we were in a little circle. Nothing but some dirt, wet bushes along the edges and crackling trees that towered over us. Most impressive of all, where had the rain gone? A few droplets snuck in, but otherwise, we were in nature’s hurricane shelter.

Removing Penelope’s drenched clothes lasted forever, for she wouldn’t quit rubbing her wet skin.

“That was really dumb, Penelope.” I dried her big hair with a tiny towel from Minh.

“Next time, you can try spending days in the castle and see how you like it.”

“So you sneak the one place nobody visits?”

She groaned. “I knew you’d be here.”

As I scolded and dried this moron from head to toe, Minh gifted her an extra pair of clothing. Pyjamas, red from top to bottom. Unfortunately, only the shirt hung onto her narrow shoulders. So now we had a barefoot girl running around in a damp forest without pants. The best we could do was wrap a small blanket around her.

“You ain’t gonna change?” Minh asked me, stripping to her underclothing.

I shrugged. “Penelope, close your eyes.” The last thing I needed was the great Princess Peach’s daughter seeing my tight wedgie. Ow…

Thankfully, Minh’s wider clothes still fit me like a glove. Grey sweatpants, a Zip Toad t-shirt that made me shudder in embarrassment, and I got a dry bra and panties. Meanwhile, she changed into another pair of pyjamas. Violet, to be exact.

“Alright, here’s the plan.” I got on my knees. “We’re gonna… wait this storm…”

THUD!

…What time was it? Oof… The back of my neck stung like hell. But I spotted no blood on my fingers after feeling it. Instead, I felt a thick, soft bandage.

As I turned around, Penelope’s feet firmly pressed into Minh’s lap. The Toad massaged them as if everything was well in the world. The towel may have cleaned her soles somewhat, but still, ew. Nevertheless, I crawled near the bright flashlight.

“How was the nap?” Minh asked, kissing Penelope’s sole.

“Time,” I groaned. “What’s the time?”

“Nine, give or take.”

“Five hours, then. Thanks for not waking me up,” I mumbled.

“You think it would’ve changed anything?”

BOOM!

Minh smirked. “See?”

While the thunder obliterated my sense of hearing, I watched Minh continue to rub Her Highness’s daughter. There was nothing else to do, after all. She treated the girl like she’d treat one of her flowers. What did this mean? Slow and deliberate movements. At one point, she rubbed the palms of her hands against the sides of Penelope’s foot, getting the girl to bite her lip.

Then she reached for my soles.

“Nuh-uh!” I pulled my feet back. “That’s a no-no.”

“Why not?” Minh pouted. “You’ve been on edge all day.”

“Miss Toadette.” Penelope deepened her voice. “You’re to let Miss Minh T. do whatever she wishes to your feet until she thinks you’re okay.”

“Look, I really don’t need—”

“That's an order!!”

I instantly slammed my feet before Minh. It’d been so long since Penelope gave me an order that I forgot I was technically below her. But while my muscles stiffened up, Minh didn’t hesitate to touch my soles in weird manners. Poking them, wiggling a finger on them, and even smelling her hand after she touched them. It was like she magically came to life.

“Don’t worry,” she said, continuing to sniff her hand. “I ain’t gonna tickle you.”

After cracking her knuckles, the Toad’s fingers caressed my right foot’s toes. A light pressure travelled across all of them. Then, from left to right, she swept the digits like she was dusting them. I couldn’t tell how filthy my soles were, but the dirt must’ve stained them a tad. Not that Minh cared either way.

“When was the last time you got your feet rubbed, Miss Toadette?”

I scratched my cap. “I guess at that Dry Dry Outpost inn.”

“Maybe you should ask Miss Minh T. to give them to you more often,” Penelope said, stretching. “She’s pretty good.”

Minh giggled. She spread my toes apart before spinning each one in a little circle. As I accepted this massage, the numbing raindrops and heavy thunder disappeared. Closing my eyes sent me to a warm blue sky. And I’d been lying on the silkiest, softest cloud imaginable. At the end of this cloud, my toes scrunched over and over. All the hardships stored in them for weeks slipped out, falling to the land below. Once they rubbed some magic between my toes, the only sound one could hear was my moan.

“My heels…” I muttered.

A slippery, warm touch sent my heels into bliss. And I let out another moan, followed by a tiny giggle. “T-Tickles…”

“My bad. I’ll go slower.”

My eyes widened. Minh’s tongue crawled from my heel to my toes, then fell to the bottom to repeat it again. Next to me, Penelope’s hands covered her mouth.

She dropped them to reveal a smile. “Enjoying yourself, Miss Toadette?”

Minh wouldn’t give me a chance to answer. As if my feet tasted sweet, she drove both my big toes in her mouth. If she wanted me to gasp, mission accomplished. Her sucking sent a shiver up my spine. And while she licked my toes, her hands continued to massage my feet…

I pulled them back. “Okay, that’s enough.”

Minh’s jaw dropped as she pointed at my face. “Ooh. Look at that blush.”

“I’m still injured, you know. All the blood just rushed to my head.”

That nonsensical excuse didn’t deter Minh from going on about my blushing. Penelope also couldn’t resist throwing some jokes into the ring. Ugh, how was I moaning from getting my feet licked of all things?

But I hadn’t imagined the rain subsiding, to my amazement. Not one droplet hit us for minutes. However, the thunder made itself loud and known. Every time it roared across the forest, the little girl would jump for a split second.

“What are you doing?” she asked me as I put my glasses on.

“That mansion isn’t gonna find itself.”

“We can’t wait until it’s daytime?”

“You didn’t notice the sky being black even during the day?” I made for the shelter’s entrance path. “Besides, we’d freeze camping out here. Unless one of you wants to start a fire and invite more guests.”

And now my arches were back in the mushy soil. Minh may have been an expert in traversing all terrains with flip-flops, but Toadette was not. On the bright side, there was a certain comfort in knowing that the sloshy dirt protected my toesies.

“Wait.” I walked backwards to face Penelope. “If you snuck out, where exactly does your mom think you are right now?”

“Now isn’t that a good question…”

Perfect. So now Her Highness had zero clues about where her daughter was, and we wandered through an expansive forest with neither a map nor signal. But now with my vision cleared, I’d do my best to get us to Boo’s Mansion. Unlike the other flowers, the ones to our left had four petals and puckered lips. Correct path! And in the next circle, Minh jumped out her shoes as a tree developed a blood-red face. Another correct path!

“I think we got this forest figured out,” I said. “What’s our clue this time?”

“Miss Toadette!”

The human noticed flickering mushrooms behind the trees, the only set that did so. Laughing, I skipped down the respective path. Boo’s Mansion was so close that I could taste it.

SMACK!

And suddenly I found myself in the mud. Something knocked me in the back of my head, but what? The only person directly behind me was Minh, and her fist was curled.

“What was that for?” I asked, rubbing my head.

“There was something on you!”

I glared at Penelope, but she just shrugged her shoulders. Typical paranoid Minh. If something was on me, either we’d have heard it, or I would’ve felt it crawling. Back to the journey ahead. Boo’s Mansion… It should not have taken us so long to locate this. When I meet the leader of that place…

SMACK!!

I snatched Minh by her collar. “You have one more time!”

“I-It was right there!” Her voice got higher than normal. “I’m not lying!”

“Mmm-hmm, totally.” I rolled my eyes. “Lemme guess. A big, scary Boo?”

My heel dug a six-inch crater in the dirt, spun 360°, and then proceeded onward. Once Minh began to gasp and stammer, I just sighed. “We were making some good progress until you—”

My stomach dropped, and more mud splattered on my back. An intense, white light floated before Penelope and Minh. Two little stubs protruded from its side, and its behind curved upward.

“Go away,” the Toad girl squeaked, rummaging her bag. “I’m armed.”

The noxious scent of the Boo Repellent spray flooded the air. As Penelope coughed, Minh doused the creature in even more of the silver substance. After the bottle choked and ran out of juice, she took a few steps back. I bit my lip, crawling back ever so slightly.

As the mist faded, one white sphere remained floating before the Toad.

RRRRRRRAAAAGGGGHH!!

As the creature unleashed a ghoulish howl, Minh chucked her flashlight and ran like a Swooper out of Hell. The light now highlighted Penelope, the little girl whose lips trembled.

I pulled myself up, chuckling. “Don’t be scared, Penelope. Ghosts can’t hurt us. They can’t even touch us.”

The white Boo twisted upside-down.

Clap!

Instantly, it floated before my face. It was time to be tough. I scrunched up my face, furrowing my brows until they formed a long unibrow. At last, I snarled my teeth, growling like a hungry animal. “You don’t scare me.”

The Boo stared at me. Just kept on staring.

I didn’t flinch from its sudden smile, or from how its sclera changed from white to black. But the Boo started to move below. I kept my head up. No way would I give into his little games. And my foot was ready to… Well, what could I do? Boos couldn’t properly interact with the world.

Penelope gasped.

The heaviest coat of saliva immediately covered the top of my foot. And right on top of my foot was a giant tongue, and the Boo’s black eyes piercing my soul.

“KYAAAAAAAAAA!!”

Our screams rivalled Minh’s with how ear-shattering their volume got. Penelope and I had the same mindset: get the hell out of this forest! I scooped the flashlight, sprinting behind Penelope to keep her in my sight.

Another white light popped in front of her.

“Boo!”

“No!” Penelope shouted. “Get away!”

“Penelope, come back!” My pleas fell on deaf ears, for the child had outpaced me. Now with a Boo behind me and in front of me, I jumped onto the path to my left.

SPLASH!

No, no, no. Now wasn’t the time for my glasses to be soaked on mud. As I scrubbed the gunk off, another tingly feeling hit my body. This time, up my back.

A purple Boo laughed so hard, its mouth went from smooth to jagged. It was like staring into a bright, floating jack-o-lantern.

Killing my vocal cords, I took off as far as my feet would carry me.

Wait a minute. If the Boos licked me, then they must’ve been solid! Yeah! Drifting around the bend, I flew into the howling spirit with my foot first. Toes pointed, just to claw him for extra damage.

SPLASH!

Why? Why didn’t that work? Cold air left my lips as I groaned, sloshing in this heavy dirt.

The laughter subsided. “I’ll give ya another shot, lady.”

Every next attack I delivered went directly through this thing. So he could touch me, but I wasn’t allowed to touch him? Yelling like a freak, I charged at him with a plain fist.

THUD!

In the end, the tree won the battle. More Boos of various colours swarmed me, tying a crusty rope around my arms and legs. They then stretched a blindfold around my head.

“Alright. We got the other two?” one Boo asked.

“Brat’s already on her way to the mansion, and she doesn’t even know it. The other Toad can’t be that far behind.”

The Boos chortled in unison. “Excellent.”

Thank you, Your Highness, for sending us on a death mission for some smelly shoes.

Chapter Text

Going to the mansion with no eyesight made my body spasm on more than one occasion. It didn’t help that a Boo kept yelling at me to shut up as if I was supposed to act calm when being taken hostage. And we didn’t receive the honour of meeting Lady Bow like Her Highness ordered. Instead, they tossed us into an underground chamber. All they gave us was a flickering ceiling lantern and a single apple. Minh’s bag, which contained my flip-flops, was nowhere to be seen.

“Toadette,” she mumbled, “please stop kicking the door.”

“I don’t see you lifting a finger to help us.” I jabbed my foot into the knobless door again. A shock travelled up my body, but the hinges could only hold this thing for so long.

“It’s been 40 minutes. Save a bit of your energy.”

“Fine,” I groaned. “Keep laying there. Should’ve expected that from you.”

Just as I returned to break this door down, I instantly spun around. This Toad’s fingers dug into my shoulders as she huffed and puffed. Was she trying to intimidate me now? Her lips curled so high that they touched her nose.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” she asked.

I smirked. “Don’t tell me you can’t put two and two together. Ms “we should head back, even if you’ll lose your job’.”

“Be quiet!” Now her breathing got louder. “Every time I try to help you, you catch an attitude or dismiss me entirely. Then you wonder why you end up in the situations you do, dragging me along for the ride!”

“Well forgive me,” I said, shoving her. “But your love of giving up has almost never helped anybody, let alone me!”

“Fight, fight, fight…”

We snapped our focus to Penelope, lying on a heavy sack of powder in the corner. Before, all we heard from her was occasional coughing. Now she wanted to intervene in adult matters?

“If you two are done bickering over stupid stuff, maybe you could combine your brains and come up with some escape plan.”

Give me a break. Teamwork wouldn’t have solved anything in this situation. The Boos locked us in a room with no door handle on our side, and none of us had tools hiding in our clothes. I glared at the brown door, gritting my teeth so hard that they could shatter.

“I’m sorry.” Minh stared at the wooden floor. “If we somehow get to Toad Town without anything, I’ll tell Her Highness it’s all my fault.”

Penelope piped up. “No need. I’ll tell her I followed you guys, and you got lost trying to get me back home.”

“Won’t change anything,” I said. “I know she’s gonna find one reason to tear into me.”

“A short beating is probably better than an eternal death, don’t you think?” Minh brushed the walls, observing the dust burnt into her fingertips. “This mansion’s older than my ancestors, but I’m betting we can find a weak point. Maybe one of these wooden boards is loose?”

I nodded. My toes pushed on every floorboard. More warm dust trapped between my toes and under my nails, and sometimes I’d scratch the wood with my big toe’s nail. It reminded me that I needed a serious trimming, but neither of us found a structural flaw. Prison cells could only dream of security like this.

The walls were so faded that they resembled dirty blankets. However, touching them was like touching a brick. No way could we kick a hole in them.

Eventually, Minh plopped against the door. “At least we can say we tried.”

Even when locked in the mansion of beasts that terrified her, she lost all motivation to escape. But I refused to go down so easily. If we could chase some Shy Guys throughout the kingdom, we could leave this mansion to see another day. I rescanned the area several times until I realised I had forgotten something.

“Penelope, off the sack.”

“It’s the only comfy thing in here,” she wined, rolling off it like a boulder.

I crouched and readied my muscles. Pulling the sack just a few inches took the wind out of my sails. But in that little pocket of space, a scorching breeze grazed my skin. Never had I smiled so widely at a dark hole in the wall.

“Our exit awaits,” I remarked, continuing to tug on the bag.

Minh raised an eyebrow. “Do we know where that goes?”

“If we’re screwed either way, I’d rather go down fighting, wouldn’t you?” I fanned myself. “Just tag behind me, both of you.”

Before entering the shaft, Minh took a few deep breaths. But the squeaking of the metal prison signified that she crawled in. Well, it was less a crawl and more an awkward shimmy. No shoulder room existed in this tube. Thank goodness I was not claustrophobic.

Not two minutes passed before my skin began to melt. Slime oozed out my armpits, my hair clung to my forehead, and my feet sizzled like roasted chicken.

BONK!

My elbow nearly shattered against this rigid wall. “Please don’t rub your face on my feet!”

Minh coughed. “Sorry! There’s no light whatsoever!”

“SSH! If we wanna avoid the ghosts, yelling is not gonna help,” Penelope whispered.

A bit rude, but she had a point. I slithered in silence, save for the occasional panting. If I thought the Dry Dry Ruins were an inferno, this tube was 1000 times worse. The walls constricted us more as we progressed, and we couldn’t wipe the sweat off our faces. It was like being baked in an oven.

“Toadette,” Minh squeaked. “I can’t breathe.”

“Lemme guess. My feet stink?”

“It’s…suffocating…” Her head collapsed into my soles, leading to her groaning and moaning.

I’d celebrate that my feet were finally disgusting her, except for the fact that she was dying in this place. From behind, Penelope encouraged her to keep going, and I moved forward until I could spot some exit. Sure enough, there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I squinted, making out a faint violet hue. No, brown!

Outside? Or just another part of the mansion? Only one way to find out.

Worming onward, the surface began to slope downwards. Thankfully, its steepness wasn’t extreme enough to cause us problems. No, the problem stemmed from the hole itself. It was large enough to fit Penelope, but neither Minh nor I would fit through it. We had large caps, and this thing was no bigger than a human child.

“Toadette… Are we stuck?” Minh asked.

“Don’t say that,” I said. “We’re getting out.”

Hmm… If I could stick one arm out, perhaps I could yank myself out this vent thingy. All it’d take was some brute forcing. Gritting my teeth, I wriggled against the tight space. My insides folded in on themselves from the deep pressure. After silently screaming for 30 painful seconds, the long squeeeaak noise was followed by a gasp. At last, colour returned to my world!

Bad news? Only the tips of my shoulders peeked out the hole. Amazing.

“You gotta be kidding me,” I panted, wishing I could dry my face.

“Y’know, I saw a video like this one time…” Minh said, almost slurring her words. “Big girl was halfway in a vent, t-then they got her out as she was laughing.”

“Laughing?”

“Yeah, one tugged on her from the outside while another tickled her feet. I gotta find that video again…”

I sighed. “If this weren’t pushing our arms down, you might’ve had a shot at tickling me.”

Suddenly, something stuck to my heel. Once it swirled, my jaw dropped. Then I felt the teeth. As soon as that happened, my mouth reacted faster than my brain. It scrunched, smiled, and finally sent me into a giggling fit. Eventually, those giggles grew into chuckles.

It was like a fish nibbling at my feet. The Toad slid her tongue between my toes, and her reward was the loudest laugh I’d given all day. With all the noise I made, I crossed my fingers that a Boo wouldn’t find us. But she kept darting her tongue across my feet like a figure skater.

“Wait, it’s working!” I laughed, noticing my shoulders slowly sliding out the tube. And so, I wiggled in conjunction with Minh licking my feet.

“They smell noxious, but they taste scrumptious,” she said, panting loudly as she bit at my wrinkled soles.

That did it for me. The squirming and kicking allowed my arms to pop out the chute completely. First, my righty, then my lefty. Without a second to spare, I hoisted myself out the shaft, dropping three feet onto the floor with a thud.

“Whoa!” Minh chuckled. “It actually worked…”

I wiped my forehead. “Come on. At least I can get you both out quicker.”

“Big problem, Miss Toadette,” Penelope said from a distance. “Your friend’s flip-flops are in my way.”

“Fine. Guess I’ll just have to yank her out, then.”

This time, my hands gripped Minh’s shoulders. While tugging, my eyes scanned the room every second. Because the moment a Boo entered, I’d have to be prepared to deal with it somehow.

THUD!

Out she came, falling right on top of me. Our sticky bodies became one for a second.

“Ooh…” Minh pulled her head out my chest. “I kinda like it when you’re completely sweaty.”

“What is this place?” Penelope asked, already pulling herself out the shaft.

We stared at the incredible barrels that lined the room. Like the last area, the wooden floor was rough to the touch. But we were still surrounded by warmth, not the frigid airs of the forest. So, we were still inside the mansion.

“Reminds me of the cellar in the castle,” the little girl said, squeezing sweat out her hair. “All these barrels and whatnot.”

 Minh stretched her back. “We didn’t change floors at all, so we’re still underground.”

That meant we had to find a way up. So we split up and scoured the vast floor for minutes. Worse than the feeling of isolation was the absence of noise. Outside of the highly muffled thunder outside, we couldn’t even hear each other’s footsteps. Walking on our tippy-toes was all we knew how to do in this situation. How well could Boos hear, after all?

“Miss Toad—”

I slapped Penelope on instinct, immediately apologising and wiping her cheek. But she proved to be the mature one, shutting me up and guiding me to the floor’s centre. Once I saw our escape method, my nerves calmed.

“An elevator, huh?” I poked the wooden device. “Didn’t know you could find these in ye olden days. Does it still work?”

“We worked a little bit of magic on it,” Minh said. “But it only goes as high as the sixth basement level. We’re on the 40th.”

40 underground floors!? Did these idiots aim to penetrate the planet’s core when building this mansion? Even though the elevator’s limit set us back, ascending 34 floors automatically beat walking. Heck, each step inside the elevator was its own journey, thanks to my sore soles.

We three girls squeezed into the boxy device. A filthy rope hoisted it, yet the device used modernish buttons. It was by far the most modern feature we’d seen so far. Penelope grinned as she hit the highest button.

A moment to breathe and relax… I set my feet on Minh’s lap, likely dirtying her pyjamas more. She just admired them as we passed each floor.

Once we passed Sublevel 27, Penelope poked the Toad’s arm. “So, why exactly are you scared of Boos?”

“You are, too. Remember the desert? Neither of us went in for a reason.”

“But I’m ten. You’re… 20?”

Minh T’s eyes widened. “19. And imagine you’re trick-or-treating one Halloween night. Then your friends dare you to hang around Forever Forest. And when you’re alone with nothing to defend yourself with but a flashlight, you suddenly see a devil shrieking— AAAH!”

She immediately pushed my feet off her lap, hyperventilating. Before us, a purple Boo chuckled while the elevator remained in motion. Two little pricks of white light shone from the centres of its eyes, and its mouth again resembled a carved pumpkin.

“Yeah, we got out,” I said, standing up with my hands on my hips. “What’cha gonna do about it, you purple bitch?”

“She said the ‘B’ word,” Penelope whispered.

“Toadette, please, just d-do not provoke it.”

My fists were clenched, and I was ready to open my mouth again. But instead, I was in a stare-off contest with this ghost. It just kept laughing… No, it wasn’t laughing. It was cackling as if it had defeated us. I knew I could resist the urge. I was going to ignore it…

“Is that supposed to scare me, fungus?” the Boo asked, snickering.

I bit my lip. But then all air left my lungs as I stepped forward and roared, “Get out of my face, you bitch!!”

“Aw. That’s not very polite.”

Wait. The Boo’s mouth didn’t move at all, and the voice felt like it was right in my ear. I swerved around, shrieking upon seeing another Boo. A beige one stuck its tongue out and licked my face. Then I looked down to see a white one slobbering on the tops of my feet!

“AAH!” I threw myself into the room on the 19th sublevel. “No, no, no, no!”

What did I do!? No matter what, I couldn’t stop the rising rope. I had to find a staircase to get me to the higher floors. Minh’s and Penelope’s lives depended on it!

I sprinted to a side of the room, making all the noise in the world. Damn it! All I found on this side were some records. Getting to the room’s opposite corner was like crossing half a soccer field. Only this time, I found endless dust stuck to my feet like glue. Yuck!

Wait, ew! Ew! My feet were all wet! Now that I realised that, every step sickened me. Just feeling the oozy spit spilling between my toes… Oh, this was the worst day ever.

But in my whining, it hit me. I leapt out the elevator from the wall closest to the room’s centre. And sure enough, this whole floor was built like a long rectangle with a square middle. That’s where the stairs would be, right? After skipping a corner, four doors awaited me. Though, they’d seen better days.

As my hand gripped one knob, the freezing metal halted my movements. What if a Boo was in there, ready to violate me again?

That horrifying face flashed in my eyes again. It shot my nerves so badly that I failed to pick up how I was in a foetal position now. I was like a little girl longing for her dear mommy. Why did this battle have to be so unfair? Boos could do everything to me, but I couldn’t hurt them no matter what.

“We’ve got her scared stiff, boys,” a voice said.

SLURP!

Not even a giant tongue on my feet could get a reaction other than a mild whimper. It happened again and again. Multiple Boos assaulted my feet, slobbering on them like dirty animals. Meanwhile, I simply shuddered.

“She tasted meh before. Now that she’s 100% frightened, I think this is the best Toad we’ve ever licked,” a higher-pitched voice remarked before a tongue flopped on my sweaty heel.

“Her friend, we gotta try out her friend. She’s plump AND seems like a baby.” This time, the Boo talked while sucking my toes.

If I were in front of Minh, I’d be apologising for mocking her all these years. Now I understood why she feared Boos so much. The invincible ghosts made our fight with the Shy Guys seem like a picnic.

“Forget the feet. I’m going even higher.”

As soon as I felt this slimy muscle lick up my legs, my body kicked into action.

BAM!!

The Boo flew a few feet back, letting out a howl of pain as it covered its mouth. Once I stumbled onto my feet, I paused. I couldn’t believe it… I damaged the ghost. But how?

Chapter Text

While the Boo howled in pain, the other Boos directed their attention onto me. Whether they were out to kill me or just lick my feet like weirdos didn’t matter. My mission was to find any set of stairs as quickly as possible. Screaming, I rammed a door open, only to find a pile of crates.

I slumped my head. “This day keeps getting better and better.”

“Found her!”

Gasping, I nearly tumbled into the wooden pile. Three of the Boos slowly closed the gap, with one sticking out its flopping tongue. Damn, the one time I hurt a Boo, and I couldn’t even see how I did it.

Wait. I wasn’t facing him.

“Oh, why can’t anything go easy for me!?” I cried, dropping to my knees and sticking my legs out. While facing the dusty boxes, I shut my ears to enhance my hearing. Indeed, the Boos were still getting closer. Closer…

“How about we all lick at once?” a voice said.

“Sounds like a plan. One, two—”

“KII-YAA!”

My wet feet collided with two solid masses, then slammed them into a third screaming figure. Spinning upright, I chuckled at what I saw. Three deformed Boos between my smelly, nasty feet. Now who was in charge?

“That’s how it works, huh?” After knocking them to the ground with my heels, I scampered away. Not a second passed without me looking back to make sure I was clear. But now that I knew how to touch these things, at least I could form some strategy.

Opening door after door, it felt like the worst case of déjà vu. How many rooMiss could lead to dirty crates, seriously? By the time I entered a room with different visuals, the growling blob behind me had grown larger and larger.

“You want me?” I said, eyes fixed on the staircase. “Then come and get me.”

With no time to waste, I ran up the staircase as if someone had attached a rocket to my back. The hard, rickety wood did a number on my soles the harder I stomped, yet stopping wasn’t an option. Climbing these 19 floors would lead me closer to finding Minh and Penelope. And no stupid ghost was gonna put an end to my goal, not tonight!

The higher I rose, the better the brightness shone. Sublevel 2, sublevel 1… This was it! Kicking the last door open—even though it had a handle—brought me to a massive room. A worn-out couch? A chandelier? This had to be the living room equivalent, no doubt about it. But unfortunately, like all houses, there were people sitting who you’d rather not see.

All the Boos stared at me. Some with confused expressions, while others got devilish grins. Floating, sitting, it didn’t matter to me. I clenched my fists, puffed my chest out, and stepped on the table in the middle of the room.

“Hey! I just dusted that—”

BOP!

Kicking people without seeing them would take some getting used to. Smirking, I slowly slid my foot along this little table. It left a heavy pile of dust and grit for these Boos to clean up later.

“I demand to see Lady Bow!” My voice nearly cracked. “And I will not repeat myself.”

As if they couldn’t piss me off further, their high-pitched snickers filled the room. My blood was boiling, my feet were getting ready to spring, and my breathing deepened. If even one Boo tried to hit me, his face would be as flat as paper.

One purple Boo flew before me. “Lady Bow, huh? And why exactly should we listen to—”

Nope, nope! I immediately spun around, grabbed the ghost, then tossed him into the table. After that impact, the only thing he felt was my nasty foot tainting his face.

“Not so sweet when it’s outside your mouth, huh?” I gripped my toes even tighter, making him shriek. “Don’t think I won’t take you all on!”

Just as I said that, a beige Boo dove for me. Screaming at the top of my lungs, I covered my eyes. Now my scream was overshadowed by the Boo’s screaming, for I slashed the little menace with my sharp fingernails. Knowing how their little invisibility game worked put the sassiest smile on my face. Meanwhile, my toes and the ball of my foot continued to pinch and crush the purple Boo below me.

“You want more of my feet? Do ya?” I asked in a cutesy voice, tapping the Boo’s tail with my other violent toes.

“ALRIGHT! You’ve made your point! We’ll— AH! We’ll bring you before Lady Bow!”

“Okay.” I folded my arms in pride while the Boo caressed his cheek. Before I knew it, two Boos elevated me three stories high. Huh, amazed they didn’t drop me to finish me off. Once my feet hit the floor, the spooks faded from view. All that stood in front of me was a giant brown door.

Calm yourself, Toadette. Do not break the door down…

I took a deep breath, then opened the door as if it were to my own home. Upon entering the room, the atmosphere… Didn’t change. Other than the darker surroundings, my sense of fear failed to grow. Although, my hearing picked up a new sound. More laughter, only higher pitched.

“Lady Bow, I take it?”

“I see my fame precedes me.” The voice came from above. Upon looking up, there was indeed a ghost lowering herself. “I appreciate you taking the time to visit our luxurious mansion, dear Toadette.”

I rolled my eyes. “REALLY? Didn’t know trapping visitors in dusty rooms was a token of appreciation. In fact, where are they?”

“Patience. If you act too carelessly, you’ll have to see your friends with Boo makeovers.”

Hmph, patience. All these Boos had been trying our patience since the moment they found us in the forest. Once this ghost finally descended to my level, I better saw her unpleasant self. Same shape, just green and with some red bows. Jeez, if being a Boo meant I had to look boring and samey, double count me out.

“Firstly, we regularly patrol the forest areas to prepare ourselves for potential guests in your mansions. You three happen to be the most recent ones.”

“We’re not really guests if you kidnap—”

“Wait a minute.” She put her fingerless stub hand on my lip. “Under ordinary circumstances, we’d have let you enter like anyone else. Yet in all my wisdom, I wanted to use this opportunity to experiment. I’m sure you’ve noticed my fellow Boos taking a liking to your feet.”

“Yeah.” I wiggled my toes. “Until I’m using my claws down here to slit ‘em open.”

Bow laughed. “It’s merely an element of being a ghost. Besides their particular foot odour and taste, you won’t find much appealing in the living. Especially ones with strong feet like you.”

I looked at my feet, and couldn’t help but nod in agreement. My feet did some heavy damage in the past weeks, and Shy Guys practically died from their stench. But, no! I wouldn’t let this demon butter me up.

“What are you getting at?” I stepped back, readying to kick her if the need came.

“We Boos have been hungry for a while, and your friends tasted splendid. Although, my curiosity calls for a change of plans with you. Don’t worry, sweetie. It only hurts for a second.”

My foot went right through her. Right when I forgot the rules, a sickening, slimy feel entered my stomach. Once I looked down, I noticed green goop sloshing from my middle section. Oh… What the? Why did I feel so cold? OW!

Curling into a ball, my temperature dropped to stinging levels. It was like all my organs got a taste of frostbite. Yelling my heart out, my breathing abruptly stopped.

But it came back. Though I awoke in the same room, there was a problem. Why was my body standing up when I couldn’t feel my muscles?

“So…” I said. “Being a Toad isn’t too different from being human.”

Hold on! I didn’t say that! I wouldn’t say anything like that.

“Don’t be alarmed, Toadette. I’ll only borrow your body for tonight. Afterwards, then we may discuss why you came here.”

She possessed me! Of all the things that could happen to me in this life, the last thing I wanted was a ghost to hijack my body. And no matter how much I internally screamed, not one word came out my mouth. It was just her speaking with my unique voice. But as I could still observe and hear everything perfectly fine, I had to watch the horror show unfold. This had to be a horrible nightmare. It wasn’t real!

Alas, everything appeared the exact same downstairs. The colours, the sea of Boos. This was real. As Lady Bow drove me to the first floor, a few Boos shrieked in horror.

“Line up, everybody,” she said, snapping her – or rather my fingers. “Lady Bow’s offering fresh feet for every Boo in the mansion to taste. Mmm, I can just smell the rank allure from here.”

As soon as those words left her lips, the room turned into an ocean of white, violet and beige. Then the mass became a line that appeared to go through doors. How many Boos could there be in this place?

“Ah… 2401 Boos. Guess I’ll have one on each foot for approximately two seconds.”

Doing the math, ugh, how I wished Minh were here. Would that be 600 minutes? Divided by six… ten hours? I had to watch my feet get licked for ten straight hours?

“Or how about five on each foot for two seconds at a time? Might hasten things a tiny bit.”

That would reduce this to four hours. Despite sounding like a big improvement, we likely wouldn’t have enough time to reach Her Highness by tomorrow morning. Was it already tomorrow? Too bad my phone was nowhere in sight to answer that question.

Bow lay on the couch, dangling MY feet over the edge. With a giggle, she clapped her hands and wiggled the toes.

“Warm them up, boys.”

Ew, ew, ew! Five Boos licked my right foot at the same time, even having their giant tongues mix together. Good thing I couldn’t control my mouth, otherwise I’d have puked all over myself. Ugh! One got its tongue between my toes! All the while, Bow was just laughing.

“It’s so ticklish!”

If the Boos weren’t slobbering on my feet, some were giving them the wettest kiss imaginable. They violated my poor feet from every angle just to fit all five ghosts on each. The tops? Soaked. The soles? After two minutes, they were more wrinkly than a granny’s feet. The sides of my feet? Jeez, some Boos humped my feet from that angle. Even if they had no dicks and it only lasted two seconds, the sheer thought made me queasy.

How could I make this better? For a movie-length foot worship session, I needed to entertain myself lest I go crazy. Immediately, shutting my eyes was out of the question.

While the ghosts piled up on my feet, I tried to erase them. You know when you’re a kid, and you can easily pretend fake stuff is real? Well, I employed that strategy, but erasing them wasn’t a breeze. These assholes needed to be replaced. But with who?

“It was foolish of me not to sample this girl myself when I had the chance.” Bow made my breasts shake for the Boos while gifting them my feet. “But the sensation…”

As she faced her subjects again, all she saw was that line of spooks. Yet I saw a Toad on her knees, licking my feet with as much force as she could. Her brown eyes couldn’t stop looking into mine, as if she was in a trance. But the girl’s attention remained on my feet, always licking up my soles or sucking my pinkie toe. She’d even coo when I spread them, technically inviting her for a trip between my digits.

The only sad part was being unable to feel the girl’s tongue on my soles. It was like a dream. No matter whether it was real or not though, she kept me going. I wanted to see her moaning as she sucked my toes like candy.

Mmm… Minh…

“Oh boys!” As Bow flipped me on my stomach, I no longer saw the line of Boos. “Phew, this is much more comfortable.”

Back to a better world, huh… Minh was an odd choice to imagine licking my feet like this. Even knowing about her fetish, why would I be happy to have her do this? Despite trying to think normally, I let out a silent moan when those Boos sucked my feet again. Minh’s face and high-pitched sounds wouldn’t leave my mind. As soon as she left a swirl of saliva on my heel, I wanted to squeeze this couch so tightly.

The Toad disappeared along with the sensation of tongues on my soles. When Bow flipped me upright, she exhaled a long moan of satisfaction. Along with the panting, she made me look like I ran a marathon. And when looking down, my toes couldn’t have looked messier if they’d been swimming in mud. That Boo who complained about cleaning dust now had a pool of spit waiting for him. Damn… four freaking hours.

“It’ll be a long while before I experience that again,” Bow sighed.

A stabbing sensation returned in my body, yet this time, the temperature spiked to volcanic levels. I blinked rapidly, watching the green ghoul spiral out of me while slime oozed out my stomach. Then, in a scene reminiscent of a murder scene, just with comical green blood instead of red, I fell to my knees. “You…” Even breathing that one word sent a sting into my chest.

“I believe you had some business to conduct with me, yes?”

Don’t lash out, Toadette. This would be over soon. Hopefully.

“I’m coming in service of Princess Peach,” I said, searching my pockets for a letter that couldn’t be found. “Well, you jerks took the letter from me, but she requested some kind of shoes from you. And these special seeds, too. Cough ‘em up.”

Bow laughed the whole way up the stairs, always maintaining a good distance from me. “Ah, I’ve been informed of that. The princess’s handwriting is unmistakable. Expect them by tomorrow, for they’ll need some polishing after years of gathering dust.”

“Tomorrow?”

“11:59 to the dot.” She stopped before the door on the second floor. “While we handle our business, you’re to wait here.”

Crreeeaak…

Within this dusty room was an old-fashioned bed. Whoa! For the first time in forever, I could actually see outside. The raindrops constantly shot the window, and only two candles illuminated the square area. But more important than the dated decor or dust bunnies were the figures in the bed. When we exchanged looks, the little one came running towards me, tearing up.

“Miss Toadette! You’re alive!” Penelope buried her face into my chest, sobbing. Even though these were clearly tears of joy, the sight of a kid crying put a lump in my throat. Nevertheless, I couldn’t spot a new injury anywhere on her body.

I squinted at Bow. “So, what exactly were you gonna do if I didn’t comply?”

“Seeing as you don’t know the first thing about possession, I never had to worry about disobedience. Even if you retaliated, the most danger you were in was walking home with wet pants.”

“So this was all a stupid game?” My eye twitched. “You took hours from us just to play some pranks?”

Her wide smirk pissed me off so much. “Everyone’s got a selfish side they have to flaunt. Additionally, I had to spice your feet up somehow. The heat in that basement room—combined with your running about—surpassed our expectations. The other Toad, in particular, tasted scrumptious.”

My frustration lingered after fully entering the room. The only thing that had a chance of calming me was the sight of one girl. Wrapped under the sheets, the snoring Toad looked like she had a rough day. Though, she still remembered to sleep on the opposite end of the bed like a weirdo. If there was anything she could take from this day, it was that she encountered Boos and lived to talk about it. Even if they intended no harm, her heart could’ve burst at any second just from panic.

I spun, but the door shut. It was only the three of us now, listening to the violent thunderstorm surrounding this building.

Without even removing my clothes, I fainted on the mattress. Penelope hopped onto the other side, with Minh’s legs serving as a warm wall between us. The girl endlessly talked about what went on when we lost each other.

“And we were running around in this library. Miss Minh T. couldn’t breathe, so she was leaning on one of the books. Then I hear her laughing and look behind me. You won’t believe this—there was a book with a mouth licking her toes. When I tell her that, she went, ‘Wait, what?’ And then BAM—she kicked it better than a Chargin’ Chuck.”

I chuckled, my eyes struggling to stay open. “She actually fought, huh?”

The girl nodded rapidly. “Mmm-hmm! When we jumped off the lift, she said, ‘If Toadette’s gone, then I’m going to protect you, Penelope.’ And she actually grabbed a book in the library and whacked a Boo in the backside! So that’s how you’re supposed to hit them.”

As she narrated the events, my hand developed a mind of its own. I don’t know why it did this, but it was rubbing Minh’s leg. Not a quick little pat for congratulations on her bravery. No, this was slow and kind of like a massage.

Sure enough, Penelope talked so much that her vocal cords needed lubrication. “Get some sleep,” I said, “because we’re outta here first thing in the morning.”

It took no more than six minutes for her to pass out. And once she was sleeping like a baby, I removed my glasses and prepared for slumber myself. However…

“Good job,” I whispered to Minh, who only responded with more snoring.

But I didn’t care to look at her face. I knew if Penelope was okay, she had to be fine as well. Her big toe looked like it wanted a kiss. It was just lying before my lips, occasionally twitching. Sighing softly, I scooched over just enough to where her toe could slide into my mouth. First, I wiped some of the filth with my shirt’s collar. Then, I fell asleep with my tongue wrapped around her big toe.

Chapter Text

At the crack of dawn—not that we could tell, thanks to the black sky—the three of us stood outside the mansion. Lady Bow and a butler Boo had handed us two objects. First, I had an elusive box. With silver lacings and an ebony surface, it gave me fancy vibes instantly. Second, Penelope took the extra envelope and gave it to Minh. Though the Toad was too scared to take the thing from the Boos themselves, at least she wasn’t scared to stare them in the face.

“The shoes, the seeds, you’ve got everything you need to be on your way,” Bow said.

“Not yet,” I said. “How do we get out of here?”

“Exiting the forest is super simple, ma’am,” the butler pointed us in the direction we came. “All you do is go in, make a random turn, and you’ll find yourself in Toad Town within minutes.”

It sounded too good to be true. But we were on a time limit, so I had to listen to these instructions. But before leaving the premises…

“Here.” I lifted my foot before the green ghost lady. “Lick my foot.”

“Miss Toadette, what are you doing?” Penelope froze.

“I have no idea. But she can take the offer or leave it.”

Bow chuckled, then disappeared. Suddenly, she reappeared in front of my foot, and her tongue… It expanded so long that it made my foot look tiny. I shuddered as the sliminess struck my heel and then pooled between my toes. A tingle went up my spine at the same time. Yuck, the number of germs on my feet was in the billions. But here she was, dining on pungent toes. After licking the tops of them, she backed up and fanned herself.

“Mmm… That was lovely, indeed,” she giggled. “Very rich in flavour. I could sample that again.”

“Okay! We’re leaving now,” I shouted, bringing the girls with me. As we went back into Forever Forest, we heard Bow’s cackle fade out.

Why did I let her lick my foot? She was the reason we were stuck there all night, to begin with. No, it didn’t feel good in the slightest. My foot feels gross when wet. Forget about that! Why the hell did I suck Minh’s toes last night? Was our room low on oxygen or something? The last time I pulled a stunt like that was just to practice this foot worship thing. I didn’t have that excuse this time.

“You okay, Toadette?”

Even within this dark forest, she paid enough attention to my blank expression. Telling her that my mind was just busy seemed to convince her, though little did she know my eyes remained fixated on her.

Exiting Forever Forest was simpler than navigating it. All it took was entering a random pathway. And once we took the first step into Toad Town, Minh collapsed. Whether she was crying or laughing was up in the air, but leaving the dreary woods put a smile on my face. At last, we could see a vibrant sky that changed colours. Time flowed.

“We’re not done yet, Miss Minh T.,” Penelope said, rubbing her foot on Minh’s back. “You both still have a delivery to make.”

Even after getting some rest last night, soreness radiated throughout my feet. It was like they were covered in blisters. So much so that I had to walk through Toad Town barefoot. Even putting on shoes caused my feet to ache badly. If anybody stared at them, screw them. I’d soak my dirty feet soon enough.

“Your Highness.”

On one knee, I presented the princess with Lady Bow’s box. The royal had two Toads open and bring it to her while she sat on her throne, dangling a high heel. Penelope stood by her side, still dirtied and barefoot. The moment Her Highness looked at the contents, my body stiffened. Meanwhile, the little girl maintained a smug smirk. Each second felt like it lasted a minute. Then our princess looked me in my eyes.

“Well done.” A smirk appeared on her face.

The gust of relief in my body spewed out. On my side, Minh also took a knee.

“Here are the seeds, Your Highness.”

“And here I thought at least one of you would’ve failed. The longer I keep you, the more I congratulate myself for accepting you, Toadette.”

“Thank you very much, Your Highness,” I said.

She signalled us to rise before stepping off her throne. Before I knew it, she towered over us in a few long strides.

“Get yourself ready. Mushroom City awaits us tomorrow.”

“What?”

She sighed. “I take it you’ve never been to the Star Festival then. Always hosted in that city, at least since I’ve been around.”

Mushroom City? Seeing the Star Festival play out would be cool. But my family was also in that city… Oh boy. Since I wasn’t avoiding this trip, the princess was correct. I’d have to not only prepare myself physically but mentally.

“I’ll see you on the big day, Toadette,” Minh said, shaking my hand.

“Miss Minh T., you’re coming, too!”

We all looked at Penelope, who was marching forward like she worked as a castle guard. Once standing in front of her mother, her voice maintained its confidence.

“If it wasn’t for Miss Minh T., I could’ve been hurt worse. And she’s the reason Miss Toadette and Daisy are even here. So she deserves an early trip with us, Mother.”

Her Highness was anything but amused by her daughter’s attempt to give commands. She glared at the child, with Penelope’s attitude swiftly switching to a more submissive style. You know, the style where you repeatedly apologise to your parent because you’re scared they’ll beat your ass in public. Fortunately for our little yellow demon, no spanking was to be found.

“That’ll be another ticket we’re paying for,” Her Highness growled. She then looked at Minh. “But since you haven’t yet hindered Toadette’s progress in anything, I see no harm in taking you.”

Minh immediately danced in place, squealing like she snorted a pile of sugar. Although my face remained blank—lost in thought—hearing this news relieved some stress. At least I’d have familiar company to keep me from snapping on this trip. And unlike me, Minh had enough experience with the city to keep me out of the dangerous areas. What a strange duo we’d be. I knew how to survive on the streets but lacked good knowledge of Mushroom City’s culture. Meanwhile, Minh was as delicate as a marshmallow, yet her brain had no limits on any area she’d been to.

“Go,” Her Highness reiterated. “I need to make adjustments now.”

“See you later,” Penelope said, giving us both a hug.

After stopping by my room to change our clothes—because we looked crazy walking around here in nightwear—we headed into town. Yep, I was still barefoot, feeling all the sand and pebbles stick to my crusty feet. Those flip-flops were at the foot of my bed, airing out.

While on our way, Minh listed the things she needed to bring to the city. Those poor bags… She would murder them just to get her entire bathroom to Mushroom City. Yet as for me…

“I’m gonna need some sneakers.”

“You’d get by in some flip-flops,” she said. “Not every street is as dirty as the media would make you think.”

I shook my head. “I still want something closed-toed, and my flats need sleep.”

“Alrighty then. Sneakers it is.”

Our local shoe store wasn’t the most upper-class in the world. But it was just the way I liked it: simple and affordable. Minh advised me to select whatever they marked as having “great arch support”. Sounded logical enough, yet every brand claimed to sport that feature. On top of that, I needed shoes that would match my new attire. No more all-pink stuff for a while. If I was travelling to Mushroom City, reinventing myself was a must.

I scooped one pair. Then another, this one black and red. And eventually, I waddled to a seat with a tower of shoe boxes. Minh found herself giggling.

“What’s funny?” I asked, putting on temporary socks.

“Well…” She played with her fingers for a good while before following that up. “Nothing.”

“I’m reminding you of my brother again, hmm?”

Minh put her head up. As she watched my socked foot enter a blue sneaker, I forced a smirk on my face.

“He loved sneakers, I loved flats. A very closed-toed orientated family, we were.” I shut my eyes. “Remember that time we tried going to the beach and I walked out in sneakers like a clown?”

That memory got a good giggle out of her. She was obviously nervous talking about this, so I steered our conversation back to the shoes at hand.

“Feel my toes and tell me if you think there’s enough room.”

“No problem.” She dropped to the floor and pressed her fingers against the shoe, cooing. “That fits you perfectly. Walk around in ‘em.”

At first, the back of my heels popped out the shoes. But once I laced them tightly, they fit about as well as my beaten flats. In fact, four of the pairs fit me like a glove. A generic blue pair, a basic red and black pair, an ivory white pair, and this Splatoon-branded pair. That last one made me feel like a little kid because of its wild vibrance. It looked like kids had been blasting it with several paints.

“I don’t know which one I want, though…”

“Get ‘em all,” Minh said. “You’re the only girl I know who’d restrict herself to one?”

“You act like I have—”

Right there, I paused and dug into my pocket. I’d been so used to this poor lifestyle that it slipped me why I even worked at the castle. In addition to the free housing, it was all about the money. And I’d spread so many of my earnings across various pants just as back-ups. We both got wide-eyed when hearing the clinks and clanks from the swishing gold.

Minh poked me with a wide smile on her face. “You were saying?”

And so I left the store with 600 Coins spent. Not only with those sneakers, but a pair of black slides—those bulky sandals—and so many socks. Oh, and I got a strip of gum for Minh. This was the happiest I ever looked after spending more than 100 Coins. I couldn’t wait to wear these! As a matter of fact, I instantly slapped on those slides. Even if my feet were sore, breaking in a new pair of shoes was so satisfying that I could withstand the pain.

Minh’s bubble popped on her face. “I’ll be keeping a mental timeline on how long it takes for those to smell like your feet.”

“Like hell, you will,” I said. “If you expect anything to get like my flats, think again. I gotta keep some fresh pairs.” But upon seeing my toenails in these shoes, my pace slowed to a crawl. It really sunk in just how bad my toes looked without any polish or care. “I’d better paint these before we go.”

“Good idea.” Minh spun me in the direction of her building. “I’d love to work on your nails for a change. Um, if you don’t mind, of course.”

What terrified me about this idea was her foot fetish. Either her hands would shake like an old person handling my feet, or she’d take all night. All because she’d be ten times more interested in sucking my toes than giving me a pedicure. But no matter what I said, she was pulling me anyway. And I was in a good enough mood to where I wasn’t going to resist. So aside from taking long, it wasn’t like she could make my feet uglier.

She quickly sat me in a rolling chair, where the leather was peeled like an orange. While she scurried off to grab items from her bathroom, I received a reminder of how messy her room could get. Even though the building’s ground floor was clean for her customers, Minh had food wrappers littered all over her floor. Everything from fast-food burger wrappers to plastic bottles. That wasn’t even mentioning the abundance of dirty laundry AROUND the hamper and… Gross. Nail clippings all over the place. Whether from her toes or fingers, who knew? They were all blackened.

“Ever heard of a—” I had to stop myself from making a rude vacuum comment. “Do you need help cleaning someday?”

“Thanks.” She returned with a hefty case of nail polish bottles. “I’m so busy, cleaning’s become the last thing on my mind. Anyways, colour?”

No pink. Green was opposite, but not a good kind of opposite. Maybe blue would suit me well. Wait – red could look pretty on me. But I’d already gone a week of having my toes painted red. Clearly, something more natural was in order.

“Black.”

“Purple would’ve looked cuter, but black works a-okay,” she said, dusting the bottoms of my feet.

She dropped a steaming bucket before me, then lowered my feet into the water. Having someone else give me a pedicure felt so surreal. Once the heat ate away at the dirt on my feet, my feet could better breathe again. That’s when Minh held up a… Oh-no!

“Tell me if I’m going to hard, okay?”

“KYAHAHAHA!”

In my laughter, I kicked Minh multiple times. BAM! BAM! BAM! It took over ten kicks—one of which had my toes break past her lips—before she thought of tightening her grip. While I tried apologising, her pumice stone brought to the forefront all the sweet spots on my feet. Grating away that hardened skin gave me the sensitivity of a baby. Was this how fast one was supposed to scrub their feet? Before, I’d always done it slowly to prevent this tickling torture.

“Stop it!” I screamed. Now the tool rubbed against the side of my foot.

“Gosh, you’re really easy to tickle.” Minh wiggled her index finger between my toes. “Coochie coochie coo.”

“AHAHA!” In that moment, I almost wet myself from the sharp sensation. “Just please finish scrubbing them! Please!”

The number of times I fidgetted or giggled because of this girl sat in the hundreds. Fortunately, Minh had scraped all the roughness off my feet within five minutes. Then she trimmed my nails to a presentable length, miraculously avoiding cutting me. Although, the way she applied a coat interested me.

“Why are you doing it so lightly?”

“Dries quicker,” she said, carefully painting my big toe. “Reapply it two more times, and we’ll be out here in a pinch.”

I nodded. “Wow, I suck at giving myself pedicures then.”

“Your toes always looked pretty regardless of how you got ‘em that way.” She backed up and looked at her own feet. “Think I wanna paint mine blue.”

No matter what colour she flaunted, guys would always get boners to her. Her busy schedule must’ve taught her to multi-task or given her incredible time management skills. Just 15 minutes after my nails dried, she had completely dried her toenails and fingernails. Either I needed her to teach me, or I needed this girl to paint my nails weekly. Clearly, she was a pro.

“You like how yours came out?” she asked me with a blush. When I nodded, she immediately threw another question my way. “How do mine look?”

I shrugged. “Cute.”

“Wait, say that again.”

“I said they look cute.”

She covered her mouth and burst into laughter. “Why, thank you. Yours are very cute, too.”

As Minh gathered her stuff, I mainly stood behind her. Not because I was even talking with her the whole time, but because my eyes focused on something. Her soles. I glazed over her admittedly flawless nail work, noting how meaty her heels were. It was as if someone filled them with the juiciest oranges in the world. And they were as clean as could be.

No. Stop thinking weird! I looked away, trying to remember some boring topics that’d keep my mind off this stupid fetish. Paint drying. That’d put anyone to sleep. Paint drying, drying on Minh’s toes to form a cute blue— GAH!

“Your toes,” I said, clueless to what I even blurted out.

“Hmm?” She turned around. “What now?”

Great. Now I had to come up with an excuse. I just had to think of something reasonable… “I just wanna compare ours,” I said with a weird smile.

She beamed in return. “I think yours will win in the pretty department, but no prob.”

When we placed our feet side-by-side, it highlighted the differences in our toes. Mine were skinnier than Minh’s while also being longer. They were like weird fingers the more I stared at them. Yet Minh’s toes were shorter and chubbier. Although they weren’t child-sized, she had the smaller feet. Aw, if only I had those. Less people would’ve mocked me growing up.

“Be happy yours are smaller,” I said. “My feet are ugly in size.”

“But that’s why they’re nicer. Yours are all curvy and skinny. Be happy they’re not fa— PORKY!”

I shrugged. “Not the word I’d use to describe your feet. They fit you well, okay?”

“Well, gracias,” she said, rubbing her toes against mine. When the contact ended, she returned to murder her suitcases. One was so stuffed that the zipper cried in pain, and the other felt bloated. But if you were something Minh could shove stuff into, she would use all your available room. Interestingly, she didn’t bring many shoes. Aside from high heels, likely for the festival, and a pair of fluffy slippers. Of course, her dirty flip-flops joined us as she left the building.

“Not gonna say goodbye to your plants?” I asked as she locked the door.

“I did,” she said blankly. “Maybe you didn’t hear me.”

When we were in the garden, my eyes were working at their best. I saw her from every angle I could. Guess my hearing failed to function.

“My mom’s got them whenever I’m gone, you know the deal. They won’t miss me that long.”

“How long will we even be gone for?” I wondered.

She rolled her suitcases onto the sidewalk, panting. “We’re about a week and a half early, and I imagine we’re heading back as soon as it’s over. Mini vacation time.”

“As long as you’re with me, it’ll never be a relaxing vacation.”

“Don’t gotta be relaxing to be fun, though.”

Minh fought an exhausting battle getting her luggage to the castle. By the time she reached the front door, she was already tuckered out. And upon reaching the dreaded red stairs, the Toad was ready to pull her hair out. Which reminded me…

“My hair!” I screamed, nearly causing her to tumble backwards. “It looks ratty, doesn’t it?”

“If I squint and do a handstand, it looks pretty neat,” she said. “It’s about as long as a Piranha Plant’s stem.”

“Could you—”

“Say no more,” she said, tugging on my frizzy hair. “Give me an hour, and I’ll surprise you.” 

Minh’s refusal to cut my hair facing the mirror terrified me, as I couldn’t see what she was doing at all. And the girl wouldn’t tell me. I asked multiple times, and all she could say was, “You’ll see.” That’s not trustworthy. That’s not safe. For one hour, I just felt scissors snipping away at my hair like foliage. Once she pulled me off the toilet seat, she pushed me in front of the mirror.

“Oh. My…”

I pounced on her, sending us both to the ground. But we rose excitedly. My hair hadn’t felt this soft and curly in years! It looked so much more professionally done than whenever I played around with the scissors. Again, I needed to pick up some tips from this girl.

“I look so much better!” I squealed, hopping against the sink.

“Hehehe. Well, I always try my best.”

This energy rush followed me all the way into the shower. I painted myself in soap with so much force that I hit the wall repeatedly. How could a day be so good when yesterday was so awful? I almost busted my ass trying to exit the shower without drying myself. But after fixing myself up a bit, I left the bathroom with nothing but a shirt and panties.

Minh showered next, and I ensured the loud water ran before my body drove me to complete this next experiment. With so much energy built up in me, I took the risk. I picked up Minh’s pink flip-flop and pushed it against my nose.

SNIFF! SNIFF!

Though its odour was incredibly minimal—it had no chance of rivalling my flats—I backed up with a feverish blush. And I felt so tingly. Why was I doing this? I couldn’t find an answer. Nevertheless, it didn’t stop me from continuing to smell her shoes until the water turned off. But before getting in the bed, I made sure her pillow lay even closer to where my feet would be. Because that way, due to her awkward sleeping habit, her feet would be right in front of my face. Not because I loved them. No, feet are feet. Weird and gross. I just wanted to study them a bit more.

When she climbed into the bed, I lay on my side to face her feet. Don’t worry. I put the covers over my face a little so that she couldn’t tell I was observing them. Them and their very toes.

“Tomorrow’ll be fun,” she said, snuggling a pillow. “But, Toadette, don’t feel bad. I’m a little nervous about going back there, too.”

“How come? You’re not the one who ran away.”

“Different reasons. I think you’ll know when we get there, okay?”

I nodded, preparing to shut the lamp off. “Can I ask something silly? I know you have your whole foot fetish thingy, but how’d you react to someone doing things to your feet while you sleep?

“What kind of things?”

“Um… Like touching them or kissing them. Creepy stuff like that.”

She giggled, pushing her feet a centimetre closer to my head as she twisted. Now I had a front-row stage to her soles. “Well, Toadette, if it’s someone I’m friends with, it’s only half-creepy. It’s kinda cute if someone’s too shy to tell me upfront. But… But it’s always better having full knowledge ahead of time.”

“I think it’s creepy as hell no matter what,” I flatly said. “How do you find it hot?”

“It’s flattering. Put it that way.”

With that, the room went dark. She began snoring in a couple of minutes, and that’s when my testing commenced. I poked her foot a few times, even wiggling my finger, to test if some tickling would wake her up. Nada. Not one reaction. Then I shuffled a little closer to her legs until our legs were intertwined. Just like last night, I ended this night with Minh’s toes in my mouth. Only this time, multiple got to explore me since they were as clean as soap. While her cold, fresh-scented feet covered my face, I questioned just what was wrong with me. But it wasn’t enough to deter my fun for tonight. Just had to make sure nobody knew.

Chapter Text

As we sat in a private class on the jetliner, Minh looked me in the eyes. She wouldn’t take them off me. How was I supposed to react? The atmosphere was all wrong. I couldn’t even look down and be safe because of two pesky obstacles. Underneath the table, her feet were tickling mine. Big toe, pinkie toe, all of them. W-Was she playing footsies with me?

“You like my feet?” she whispered.

“I mean, they’re only cute because you painted them.”

She grinned. “If you think they’re cute, how about you suck on them?”

SLAM! Her meaty foot struck the table and curled its toes before my eyes. It was so clean, like she came fresh from an assembly line. And the smell… Mmm… Almonds… As she continued tickling me with one foot, I put her pinkie toe in my mouth and shut my eyes.

“Toadette… Don’t forget my other toes.”

I kept sucking the pinkie, letting it wriggle in my mouth until my body needed to release it. It was a fighter, flexing as much as it could to escape. But I couldn’t let it go anywhere.

“Toadette…”

“Toadette. Toadette.”

Minh faded into view, dressed like she was ready to go someplace. I groggily murmured something about wanting an extra hour of sleep. She then yanked the covers off me, exposing my bare legs to this A/C.

“Her Highness said we’re leaving at 6.”

I buried my face in the pillow. “Well then wake me up when it’s close to 6.”

“5:49.”

Time to hop out of bed! That dream imagery stuck in my mind while I brushed my teeth and hastily threw on my clothes. It probably only happened because I randomly chose to suck her toes last night. I only did that as thanks for the great help she’d been. After putting on my black socks and lacing my sneakers, I gave my room a long look. It’d feel alien to not sleep here for a while, but at least I’d return to it in a clean state.

We dashed into the hall, Minh struggling to match my pace. The scariest part was making sure my suitcase didn’t damage the floor with how frequently it was bouncing. Each time the wheels hit, my heart jumped. With a couple of seconds to spare, we made it to the bottom floor. There, Her Highness waited, along with several other Toads and her daughter.

She shook her head at us. “Cutting it close, wouldn’t you say?”

“I’m sorry. We had a busy night, Your Highness,” I panted, holding Minh’s head up.

“Yes, yes. You can talk about it on the way to the airport.”

“Airport?”

She scoffed. “As if we’d take the bus or train. We’d be on there for a whole day.” Then she clapped her hands. “Everybody. Remember that when you’re in Mushroom City, you’re representing me. So if anyone gets into a sticky predicament, I expect you to excuse yourself. Understood?”

“Yes, Your Highness,” we said in unison. I naturally lacked any understanding of what she meant by excusing myself. Either she wanted me to go to the bathroom if I messed up, or there was a darker implication that skipped over my brain.

“Penelope,” she pushed her daughter forward, nearly tripping the girl, “an explanation of what we’ll be doing, just to catch new workers up to speed.”

“Listen up!” The girl pierced everyone’s ears with her bombastic tone. “You will each board the trams outside and be escorted to Mushroom Airport. Once there, just act normal, and every little thing is gonna be alright. We’ll fly for eight hours, land in Mushroom City around 3 PM…”

If you ever need someone to create a distraction, Penelope is your weapon of choice. I knew she could talk, but not for five straight minutes. Once her lecture ended, she gave us a bright smile. So what if I missed most of what she said? Boarding an airplane shouldn’t be so difficult. Plus, Minh could help if I misunderstood something. Think I’m joking? While we rode the tram, she convinced me that she’d previously been a flight attendant. By the time we reached the airport—not the actual plane—I could locate every single exit on that flying vehicle.

“Pick up the pace, people!”

There weren’t many at the airport at this hour, yet our feet were on fire trying to reach the plane. Unfortunately, all of us were subjected to some pat-down procedure before proceeding. And the Toad who worked with me kept placing his hands in some interesting areas.

“Is this really necessary?” I asked when he touched my socked foot. It was hardly a pat-down, as his fingers were inside my sock. Almost tickling my foot with a smile.

“Would you rather miss your flight?”

Dick. After fondling my foot like a creep, he grabbed both my butt cheeks and squeezed them. Hey, I was NOT a clay toy to be played with. The moment he told me I could continue, I flicked him off. But I waited for Minh to finish before getting to the plane. 

“Is this a normal thing in airports?” I shoved my foot back in my shoe. “They don’t trust us or something?”

“Toadette, it’s my favourite part,” she purred. “I always lie and tell ’em there might be something dangerous in my back pockets. Gotta get that free butt massage.”

That genuinely made me shudder. “Gross.”

Now the hard part was over. We traversed some narrower hallways before hearing a loud engine roar. Soon enough, we were inside the airplane. Wow, it was large. I’d never been on a cruise or something comparably gigantic, so this made me a bit fidgety. The décor screamed of fanciness, too. Where should I start? There were the cream-coloured walls with light flower patterns at the top, and the floor’s material could’ve come straight from the castle. A carpeted aisle where we’d see Her Highness in a stained-glass aesthetic.

“Let’s see.” I took a good look at the ticket. “What’s economy class?”

Minh groaned. “Aw, why’d we get the short end of the stick?”

“We had to adjust to make sure you could come on, Miss Minh T.”

Little Penelope pushed us out the aisle to make room for the other passengers. I got stuck with a window seat, and Minh’s pressing against me didn’t make this comfortable in the slightest. While she hoisted our carry-on stuff above the seats, I listened to the various chatter. Some Toads talked about mundane topics, some questioned if the pilot was competent (red flag), and some were as sleepy as I was.

“Make sure you’re strapped in,” Minh reminded me, crossing her right leg over her left. In effect, giving me a close view of her foot.

If I wasn’t stuck looking at it, I would’ve had the seatbelt on in a few seconds. Not my fault! She was the one who thought it’d be good to slap her foot against her shoe repeatedly. Clap, clap, clap—that sound rose over the plane’s engines. Click! Now that I was secured, at least I could better observe her foot.

Ding!

I grabbed my chest. “What’s that?”

“Attention, a-passengers. We shall be departing in a few minutes. This will be a bumpy ride, so I need you to ensure your seatbelts are choking you. Make-a sure you’re prepared to leap out of the plane if shenanigans occur.”

Luigi! The brother of the much more famed Super Mario. When did he become a certified pilot? This man could barely drive a go-kart without purposefully crashing into others! He could barely golf without crying a river. One of the Mushroom Kingdom’s laughingstocks couldn’t have been fit to carry over a hundred people to Mushroom City. Eight hours with him?

“Minh.” A nervous smile stretched across my face. “Luigi can fly, right?”

Suddenly, the plane shook. Looking out the window, we were definitely accelerating. Then we sharply swung left, seemingly onto this long road. The runway? Hold on, why were we already going into the sky? Oh-no! I clung onto Minh for dear life because this plane was about to fall out the sky. We were too steep! The more vertical this airplane got, the harder my nails dug into her. Yet she was laughing. Why was she laughing? And we were going so FAST!

“Toadette.” She patted my head. “We’re not even rising anymore.”

Though I opened my eyes, they focused on anything but the windows. Almost like a comfort mechanism at this point, I glanced at her feet. Now she’d taken her flip-flops off and was undoing her seatbelt. More intriguingly, she set her feet on top of the chair in front of her.

“You don’t think that’s rude?” I asked, watching her flex her toes.

“Hey! What’s the big idea?”

Her legs quickly retracted, and a male Toad emerged over the seat. He had a headlamp on his head and these beige clothes. Looked like someone who explored jungles for a living and made documentaries. Hmm. I knew I recognised that outfit from around the castle somewhere…

“Oh, it’s you,” he said to Minh with an expression of relief. “Made me think someone was looking to start trouble.”

“Well, morning to you too, Cap’n Toad.”

“And the new girl!” He climbed over the chair to awkwardly fit between us. “Well, I guess you’re not new anymore if you’ve been here for weeks. How are you doing?”

I scratched my head. “Do I know you?”

The Toad tugged on my braid. “Remember? You were on the stairs, looking like a starving skeleton. And I gave you a cookie.”

That was very early when I started working here. But little by little, I remembered exactly what he was talking about. He mentioned going to some Fahr Outpost place, then I never saw him again. Well, until today. Nodding like I totally knew what he meant the whole time, I introduced myself properly. My name made him chuckle.

“Now we can both hate our parents for giving us uncreative names.” He shook my loose hand. “Captain Toad. Nice to re-meet you, rookie.”

Wait. That was his real name? Toad? Oof, and I thought mine was bad.

“Me and the boys are gonna be training hard in Mushroom City. Gotta make sure the princess is protected from any and all attacks, and be in top condition to save innocents.” He talked like a dramatic hero from a movie but had the voice of a teen girl in puberty. It was a bit deeper than mine and had tons of rasp. “Hey, Minh, wanna put some socks on? I really don’t wanna have to report there’s a weapon on this plane.”

“Hahaha,” she mocked, “like yours are any better.”

“Are you challenging Captain Toad? Again?”

“Yep. And Toadette can be our judge.”

My face got serious. “Judge for what?”

Captain Toad shoved me out my window seat and began to unlace his boots. Immediately, I shook my head frequently. Not only were we in public, but I was NOT interested in getting within a hundred-mile radius of a guy’s feet. Nope, nope! Minh could grab my arm all she wanted. I would chew through the bone just to detach from her.

“It’s real easy,” she said in her squeaky voice. “Just tell us whose feet smell worse.”

“He’s a man!” I shouted, covering my mouth as soon as others turned their heads.

“He’s a man, but feet are feet.” Minh giggled when Captain Toad pulled his socks off. “Yuck, yucky! Alright, Toadette, get to judging.”

Captain Toad sighed, getting a big open smile on his face. “Feels good to get that off.”

Clearly, I wasn’t escaping from this. Unlike Minh, this guy presumably had the authority to tackle me if he desired. Not wanting to draw any more attention to us, I quickly scooped up Minh’s feet. Eck, they needed some dusting. My fingers got some of it off in a few seconds, and then I shoved my nose between her chunky feet.

Sniff… Sniff…

“Huh.” I gave them another sniff, this time from heel to toe. “They smell like nothing. And they’re not even sweaty.”

She curled her toes. “Shocking.”

Truth be told, this was workable. If Minh’s feet lacked a strong scent like this 24/7, perhaps I’d be willing to smell them at any time of the day. However, now it was Captain Toad’s turn. Before getting in front of him, I took a large gulp. At least I wasn’t looking at the tops of his feet. Just the soles. They were sweat-drenched, just like Minh’s. But his feet were larger. Imagine my feet, but wider so that they didn’t look as skinny.

“Help me…” I whispered, causing both Toads to break into laughter. With a sigh, I set my nose on one of his heels.

SNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFF! Sniff…

Nope! Hell no. Two sniffs were more than enough.

Bump! Brrrrrrr!

The airplane shook violently for a second, sending my face back into the Toad’s feet. And this time, my nose went right under his toes. His clammy, slimy toes.

Sniff! Sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff!

THUD!

I hit the floor, covering my nose with my shirt while these chuckleheads continued giggling it up. Jeez, my lungs were on fire! Minh laughed so intensely, she fell into the aisle. And suddenly, two feet were on my butt.

“I only joke about feet being weapons,” he snickered, pinching my clothes with his toes. “You look like you just got poisoned.”

“That was so gross.”

His feet smelt like they’d been hosed with vinegar in a bootleg spa treatment. Now imagine that the vinegar also had some old cheese swishing around in its bottle for a while. Absolutely sickening. Good thing I didn’t have breakfast. The ONLY nice thing I could say was that his feet were soft, but that could’ve been because of the abundance of sweat.

“Now I kinda want a try.” Minh cracked her knuckles and pulled his foot into her face. Somehow, she managed a minimum of ten sniffs, each ending with a fluttery sigh. “Yep, a bajillion times worse than mine. Though at least you didn’t infect me.”

“What can I say, they’re only smelly because I have such a hard job. I could make them smell like peaches if I had time.”

Minh dropped his foot. “Even if mine had a stink to ‘em, they’d still smell nicer. Bet on it.”

He smirked. “We’ll see about that.” 

On the floor, I was still choking. That Toad’s feet still burnt my nose even when they weren’t in my face. When I stepped into the aisle to rush to the bathroom, something grabbed my shirt.

Penelope’s chipmunk-like smile greeted me again. “Mother would like to see you. And Miss Minh T.”

“For once, I’m grateful.” I yanked Minh out her chair while she and her friend’s laughter finally subsided. The girl led us to royal class, apparently the best on the plane. The velvet walls instantly made it look classier. And in this cabin was our princess, tapping her foot.

“Welcome back. You wouldn’t miss the opportunity to give me a lengthy foot massage, would you, Toadette?”

I tried so hard not to groan. “No, Your Highness.”

“Good. It’s been too long since you’ve last assisted my feet. And you, flower girl, can work with Penelope.”

Minh bowed her head. “I shall not disappoint you or your precious daughter, Your Highness.”

“Ooh. Such liveliness. Take notes, Toadette.”

Her Highness directed us to a door in the side of the plane. No, not the exit. It was a room. And for an airplane bedroom, this was like a mini hotel. A giant bed, a flat-screen TV, a nightstand… Add a fridge, and someone could actually sleep here overnight. While Her Highness dove backwards into the bed, Penelope flopped on the mattress to join her. She wore socks, whereas the princess immediately kicked off her red heels. To my worry, her large soles matched the colour of those shoes perfectly. Please don’t be smelly or sweaty or gross in general.

Unlike me, Minh displayed no hesitation in serving her superior. Instead, she crouched to rub Penelope’s dangling feet, starting at the toes.

“Can’t remember the last time I wore fluffy socks,” she noted, sniffing the girl’s white fabric. Minh’s history with socks would take up less than a paragraph in a biography. Unless she had pristine shoes she didn’t wish to soil, or the weather was chilly enough, socks were her archnemesis.

Since Her Highness didn’t directly command me, I patiently waited for her to give some direction. Yeah, I wasn’t repeating that mistake again.

“Rub my right foot,” she said, smirking. 

I nodded. But just as I wrapped my hands around her foot, all knowledge I had about massages vanished. My thumbs just went to town on her arch since it seemed like the spot that would hurt the most. I mainly did some up-and-down motions. And I’d keep doing them unless the princess complained. To my dismay, I noticed how shiny my hands were getting. More freaking sweat… Oh well, so long as I didn’t smell it, it couldn’t harm me. On the positive side, the wetness made it easier for my hands to move around. It was like skating on her foot.

Oh!

“You have incredibly soft feet, Your Highness. I don’t know anyone else in this kingdom who cares for herself as much as you.”

The princess put a hand behind her head. “So, you’re starting to appreciate them, are you? Better late than never. My foot care habits have stuck with me since I was Penelope’s age, and look at the results.”

Phew. Daisy’s advice about complimenting others came in handy this time. Now I transitioned into tugging on Her Highness’s toes individually. Here it hit me how massive her feet were. From directly below, they were like twin skyscrapers you’d see in Mushroom City. Seriously, she could kick a car off a highway with how powerful these things stood. Every time her toe popped, a clap echoed through the room.

 “I like that,” I muttered, applying more pressure to the big toe.

“Those popping noises?” Her Highness scrunched her own toes, and the sound happened again. Five times, one after the other. “Isn’t that something… I never would’ve noticed without you pointing it out.”

“Sorry!”

“Please, anything that helps me stand out against other important figures only benefits my life.” She pushed her foot against my face. “Stick out your tongue.”

Yep, that’s what I was waiting for. It’d been too long since she used my tongue like a rag, dragging her salty foot against it. At least it wasn’t super sour that other feet had in the past. Even the odour wasn’t too powerful. They smelt like regular, nasty feet. Just not ULTRA nasty feet.

Actually, the more licked, the better this felt. It was a more neutral flavour than anything else. Was “nasty” an appropriate term to use? Let’s say they tasted mildly salty, but nothing that I couldn’t stomach at this point. I swore my taste buds were just warping to

But when her toes went in my mouth, my gag reflex kicked in. These freaks were getting a little too comfy poking around my uvula. And Her Highness’s nails were about as long as a cat’s.

“Your Highness…” I gasped, suffocating as the ball of her foot entered my mouth. “Your Highness!”

Only ten seconds later, after hearing my gagging cries for mercy, she finally pulled her foot out. And along came the thickest amount of spit that ever left my lips. While some of it pooled around the toes, the rest dripped to her heels. Breathless, I put a hand on my chest.

“Are you going soft on me again, Toadette? Don’t tell me you’re regressing.”

No, I was not. I licked up the drippy spit on her heel, clenching my fists. Then I made for the rest of the foot, coating it until it was shinier than a mopped floor. The morning light really wished to highlight how heavily I polished this big foot.

Of course, it was only a matter of time before she had me licking the other. The scent was similar, and the taste just a bit less salty. However, now the whole foot was back in my mouth. It throbbed, and eventually, the princess wiggled her toes like they were on a playground. Keeping my fists curled, I imagined I was a baby, sucking on a pacifier. A giant, painful pacifier that was tearing me from the inside out…

“Observe, Penelope.” Her Highness forced her daughter’s head in my direction. “She’s held on for nearly a minute.”

“Whoa. You think you can do that with mine, Miss Minh T.?”

Minh chuckled. “These tiny things? Watch and learn.”

Turning my head would’ve stung, but my eyes caught a glimpse of the scene. Jeez! Penelope’s foot was so deep in Minh’s mouth that only the heel could be seen. She was something else entirely. Even if Penelope had small feet, to be able to handle them so effortlessly… How could I learn that?

Desperate for fresh air, I threw myself backwards, releasing a heavier glob of spit on Her Highness’s foot.

“Permission to rest, Your Highness?”

“You’re not even going to offer to clean the spitty mess you’ve left on my foot?” the princess asked, wiggling her oozing toes.

My panting continued as I looked around the room.

“Penelope,” Her Highness said. “Would you like to use her for now?”

Penelope put a finger to her chin. Minh still had the girl’s foot stuffed in her mouth like a delicious snack, making the kid softly gasp every now and then.

“You and Miss Minh T. can lick my other foot at the same time,” she said with a devilish grin.

“Come on,” I groaned. 

“If you want, I’ll handle the bottom again, Toadette.” Minh shuffled to the side, allowing us both to surround the girl’s left foot. “Gosh, they have a nice taste to them.”

Though I expected this to be simple, it was anything but. I got immediate flashbacks to when Her Highness was bathing, and Daisy and I licked one foot at the same time. Daisy’s tongue must’ve jabbed mine a few times. Yet since I was on the opposite side of the foot this time, perhaps Minh wouldn’t have a chance of tongue wrestling me. Well, here goes…

Slurp!

Hmm… How odd.

Slurp, slurp…

The more I licked the top of Penelope’s foot, it became clearer why Minh preferred the bottom. Though it had a higher chance of getting ickier, it had a more satisfying texture. And the taste was just unique enough to be interesting. But the tops just tasted like normal human skin or Toad skin. Delicious if you’re a cannibal, but otherwise, rather unspectacular.

But I wouldn’t complain in the slightest. All this meant was that I could let the next few minutes pass by until she told us to stop. Minh’s breath was warm, though. Occasionally, we came so close to having our tongues bump. Fortunately, it never happened. I had to almost dodge her intentionally when we flossed between the girl’s toes. At least Penelope’s feet were entirely clean, at the expense of tasting like the blandest of soy paste.

BUMP! Vrrrrrrrrr! Bump!

Suddenly, the plane jittered up and down. And my heart froze when Minh’s top lip made contact with mine. It was faint—just a tickle, and for a second—but it happened. Okay, Toadette, calm down. It was an accident… You didn’t just kiss a girl. Nope, regular contact while on your job. Of course, while I was internally panicking, Minh continued licking like everything was smooth. As far as she was concerned, nothing would deter her from licking a girl’s toes. Even if they were already drenched, it was her job to wet them further. 

The little girl snapped her fingers. “Alright, I’m finished.” She set her wet feet on the sheets, letting our spit marinate on her tiny feet. Of course, Minh refused to immediately stop, licking all the excess spit up while stroking Penelope’s legs.

Her Highness nodded, which signalled me to fall onto the floor. Even with plainer flavours, these royals still did a number on my tongue. Thankfully, cabin service eventually gave us some apple juice to wash our mouths out. During our breakfast, Minh talked vividly with the royals. Within the next hour, her vocal cords did not burn out.

“I totally wouldn’t mind being your loyal slave, Your Highness.” She took a sip. “But I love my flowers too much to give that up.”

“A shame, as you’d be a fitting companion for Toadette here. Are you sure you’re not sisters? Cousins, perhaps?”

“I’m glad we’re not, for personal reasons,” she said in a low voice. “But since I’m a part of this early trip, you can treat me as secondary slave all you wish, Your Highness. My mouth is yours to utilise whenever you need me.”

The princess chuckled. “I respect a girl with such a burning passion to please. Thank you, Minh”

“Serving you and your holy feet would be an honour, Your Highness.”

Always… Exactly how long would I be stuck with this job? If I got enough Coins, I’d be able to live my own life, away from this foot stuff. Sure, I’d still miss the little brat, but life would give me a wake-up call someday. What crazy timeline would exist where I’d have to worship Princess Peach’s feet until the day she fades away? Hmm, better not to question that.

“I can’t wait until people start pledging their loyalty to me,” Penelope said, looking out the window. “When’s my time coming, again?”

“We’ll see,” Her Highness said.

“May I please rest now, Your Highness?” I begged, slumping over like a zombie.

“At the foot of the bed.”

Ah… Sweet extra rest… Even if Her Highness’s toes occasionally picked my nose and kicked me. These next seven hours would go by smoothly…

“Toadette! Wake up!”

“Minh, didn’t we already go through this today?” I mumbled, rubbing my eyes. But in an instant, BOOM! A suitcase struck me in the head as I fell into the wall. “What in the world?”

Some furniture was unmistakably sliding around, so reaching the door required a quick sprint. After we entered the cabin, the other passengers were screaming at the top of their lungs. Our screams joined them since the plane seemed to invert itself for a second. A full 360° motion, followed by the vehicle steeply plummeting. With my face pushed against the window, I could see an endless sea of clouds. But they were moving up, meaning we were going down.

Penelope clung to her mother’s leg while our dear princess observed the outside world as well. “What are we gonna do?” she screamed, shivering.

Her Highness clenched her fist. “Keep still and let me think.”

“Can I get an update or something?” I yelled.

Minh ran in place, flustered. “Luigi’s out!”

Chapter Text

Minh and I barged into the cockpit. There, the plumber with the green hat sat motionless. Once I looked at his face, yep, he was completely out of it. He looked poisoned—just dead-eyed while he stared into nothingness. Immediately, I felt for a pulse on his neck. Although faint, it was definitely there. But the plane’s controls were going haywire like a car without a driver.

“I knew we couldn’t trust him!” I shouted, trying to resist the pressure as we dove. “How’d he pass out?”

Minh hid her hands in her pocket, shrugging casually. If she thought that’d win me over, she had another thing coming. I backed her into the wall, my glare getting stronger.

“Okay.” She put her head down. “There’s a chance I dared him to smell your flats.”

“My flats? I didn’t even pack those.”

“I did.”

“Why?” I shook her back and forth. “What made you do something that stupid?”

She threw her hands in the air, maintaining the wobbliest smile one could have. “I needed my stink comfort. And thought it’d be funny.”

With no time to waste, I sprinted to the backmost cabin. I told everybody that there was a medical emergency in the front of the plane, hence why it was flying so crazily.

“Is Luigi out?” one Toad asked, dropping his papers. “The pilot’s out?”

“Please, we’re taking care of it.”

“We’re all gonna die!”

My efforts to calm the wave of panic were in vain. Every Toad hugged one another, fought to reach a phone in the plane, or screamed at the top of their lungs. Not helping matters was the baggage avalanche whenever the aircraft dramatically tilted. Sweating bullets, I grabbed Captain Toad by his collar.

“You’re a leader, right? So you can fly a plane?”

“Well… That’s not exactly in my job.”

“Then what are you even here for?” I pushed him back into the seat and ran to the plane’s front. “Calm them down!”

“What are we gonna do, Miss Toadette?” Penelope asked. Innocent child. She still thought I was the answer to all her problems.

I slammed the cockpit door and locked us two Toads inside. As I kicked Luigi out his seat to become the new pilot, it dawned on me how childish my thinking was. This wasn’t some hi-tech arcade game with simple buttons. Instead, every inch of this room was covered in knobs, switches, screens, and enough buttons to give an elevator a heart attack. If they made so many freaking buttons, you’d think they’d make one labelled “GET US SAFELY TO AN AIRPORT”.

Minh plopped in the other chair. “Considering he was steering this the whole time, I’m gonna guess there’s no autopilot.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me!”

Our speed was out of this world. Soon we lost track of the clouds because the plane was diving at a straight angle. Nothing but the blue ocean below us. How would we even find a place to land without this autopilot tool? Mushroom City had so many buildings we could slam into trying to locate the airport blindly.

“Pull up!” Minh pushed her foot against the dashboard and yanked as hard as she could. The plane’s steep descent switched to an equally sharp ascent within seconds. Now we were zipping through the clouds like a rocket.

Groaning at the painful whiplash, I grabbed her shoulder. “Please tell me you can fly this.”

To my horror, she shook her head frantically. “Flying’s easy. Landing’s the real challenge. Why did I have to bring your smelly shoe with us?”

“Your captain buddy can’t help us, so we’re on our own. Tell me what I need to do.”

“Gimme your foot.”

“Huh?” Now I was back in the land of confusion. But seeing as Minh wouldn’t elaborate, I stretched my legs over the middle column and pushed my feet against her arm. Now she tugged on my ankle-high socks with her teeth until my feet were naked. Oh boy, I could see where this was going fast.

She pressed a foot against her face. “Good. Comfort me, and I might can get us there in one piece.”

“This is just gonna distract you.”

“Anything that takes my mind off the very real possibility of us stalling or crashing is essential, Toadette.”

Whatever she needed. I reversed directions, pressing my back against the dashboard. Then I continued rubbing my feet all over Minh’s face. Feeling the wind between my toes never stopped feeling awkward. Although, it was difficult to deny that her kissing gave me a sense of tranquillity. She planted slow kisses across my soles but announced them with obnoxiously loud smooching noises. Loud yet fascinating.

Since we were super high in the air, away from structures, now would be the best time to test how well she could fly while multitasking. First… Ooh, asking this hurt me.

“Do they smell good?”

Her sniffing got a power boost. Now it was like a tornado zipped and made a trip from my toes to my heels. And once she made the loop back to my toes, the Toad squeezed her narrow nose between the digits.

“Ooh-la-la. Someone’s feet are in top condition.” She followed with a whiff and sigh. “Smells like lemon this time.”

“I’ll take that over stinking.”

“You know, why haven’t I started using your feet as pillows yet?”

SLOSH!!

Minh found her mouth clogged with three toes. Jeez, even receiving compliments about my feet was still getting under my skin. Why? If someone thinks your feet smell good, even if it’s gross and weird, it should be flattering? Likewise, if someone adores how soft your feet are and wants to sleep on them, was there a need to react so panicked? While I pondered this, she sucked on my toes carefully like jawbreakers. Never biting, only licking and swirling her long, wet tongue around them…

When looking out the window, the plane’s movements were incredibly stable. The fear of rotting in a watery grave shrunk the longer Minh had my feet in her face. Hmm… It was true that when we crushed the berries, she worked harder when her emotions got extreme. Perhaps extreme positive emotions gave her a skill increase, too.

I dragged my feet down her face, pleasing her taste buds. Add a few fake moans to the mix, and I had her turning red.

“You like that,” she asked, lapping up and down my sole. “Right there?”

“It’s…” Even when trying to please, my true feelings could only twist themselves too much. This felt just as slimy and odd as every other time someone tasted my feet. Even if it was .00001% nice. I shut my eyes and sighed. “It’s a little bit interesting.”

“So you like it.”

“I didn’t say that.” I pushed my foot further in her face. “I’m just not as grossed out by it as I was before. That’s all.”

Minh blinked twice. “You have no idea how happy that makes me.”

While she made out with my toes, that dream crept into my mind again. If I didn’t like feet, I shouldn’t have dreamt that at all. It must’ve been an accident, like a weird non-nightmare. But no matter the origin, it refused to leave my head. It was like a tape or song you’d constantly rewind as a kid. The way she slammed her foot on the table, telling me to lick her toe. Her big…

No, I couldn’t bring myself to ask her that. That’d be a great way to make our relationship creepier and more inappropriate. Friends shouldn’t be doing things that boyfriends and girlfriends do in private. For the next couple of minutes, I let the dream play out like a film. Not because I liked it. No, I wanted to envision how it’d progress. First, licking the toe, then kissing the tops of her feet, then she’d get closer and ask me to rub her feet. Clean feet, at that.

Okay, Toadette. Bite the bullet. Don’t tell her about the bizarre dream—a dream that was more a reflection of her fantasies than yours. Come up with a convincing excuse.

“You want me to lick your feet?” I asked, trembling like a Mr Blizzard in a volcano.

The girl’s brown eyes widened. “MY feet?” Her reaction was so much more dramatic than I expected. She was flustered, even though she’d been making endless references to wanting someone at her wide feet.

We were both like headless chickens, unable to process what to say next. I couldn’t tell her I was joking since that hurt her. Damn, even if I changed my mind, it’d leave her disappointed.

“If it helps you still focus better on flying this thing. That’s all,” I said.

“Thanks,” she said, lightly stroking my foot. “But I gotta use these pedals to steer when landing, so having slippery feet isn’t smart.”

“Right. You’re pretty knowledgeable about something you’ve never flown before.”

Phew, at least that was terminated before it could escalate into something stranger. I didn’t even consider how she’d been walking around this plane partially barefoot. How many germs were on her icky feet? For the rest of the flight, I kept my wet feet on Minh’s thigh. She admitted to loving it when I applied more pressure, so I kind of delivered her a small leg massage. Mainly performed with my heels. A half-hour later, something hit her.

“Headset!” She tried to put on a headset that Luigi would’ve been wearing. Tried. Truth be told, our Toad caps complicated a lot of matters. Human headphones weren’t the most compatible or comfortable. But that’s what I was here for.

I stacked my feet into a solid tower and pushed part of the headset against Minh’s face.

“Smart thinking,” she said before holding down a button. Now her attention was strictly on whomever she communicated with. “Hello?”

“MA 200? Is that MA 200 trying to get through?” The voice was so tinny and crackly that I barely heard it.

“Good afternoon.” Minh put on a professional voice. “Our pilot has a medical emergency, and I need direction on how to land at Mushroom City National, please.”

“Oh my goodness. Okay, we’ll help you out.”

Within minutes, the plane entered its final descent. I crossed my fingers that Minh would steer us to safety. Unlike her smooth cruising, our plane nosedived once she realised she had missed an ideal spot to descend. Through the cockpit glass, there were miles and miles of giant steel buildings everywhere. Most importantly, directly before us, a long stretch of asphalt with planes scattered.

“You can do it, Minh,” I said, pushing the headset and my toes tighter against her face.

“Brace for impact!”

The first wheel hitting the ground made me bounce so high that I hit my head on the ceiling. Then, before Minh could scold me for my lack of a seatbelt, the backmost landing gear sloppily hit the ground. We passed so many planes, and I clenched my chest. Was it game over? Was she gonna drive us into something?

“What is that?” she screamed, breaking her vocal cords.

Right in front of us, an equally sized jetliner closed in on us. Even though she had maintained composure up to now, Minh began to hyperventilate. Not the thing you want your only pilot to do.

“Go left,” I said, shaking her head with my feet. But she wouldn’t budge, as if someone had frozen her.

Yelling at the top of my lungs, I squeezed in the space where her feet would be guiding those pedals. And in that instant, knowing my arm strength wasn’t quite comparable to leg strength, I took the wildest strategy. Forcing my face into her left foot, driving it as deep as it could floor that pedal. In this darker area, no sense of movement existed. Just the feeling of my lips against the top of her foot and a mild-scented odour. I’d know what’d happen next in four seconds.

One, two, three… FOUR!

I opened my eyes, reality sunk in with what I just did, and I bumped my head trying to exit this foot space. But when looking at Minh again, her eyes were so wide that they stretched off her face. And with a gulp, she went from having clenched teeth to a small smile. And it grew. Grew so big that it became a series of laughter.

“We made it. We made it!”

“I won’t…” I said, rubbing my head. At least that fearful hour was finally put behind us. “Come on, I don’t wanna be off the ground anymore.”

“You bet— Toadette!” Minh had confusion written all over her face. “How come you’re so blushy?”

Blushy? I squinted at my reflection in the glass. Damn, if only I was allowed to punch it. I looked like a strawberry monster. And though I knew where that blush came from, that would be my secret. Again, just an experiment. It was an experiment to save our lives! No love whatsoever for her foot or whatever that faint smell was.

Nevertheless, she refused to wait for an answer, pulling us into the passenger cabins. When we all gathered within the airport, the Toads treated us like movie stars on a red carpet. Receiving this much praise… How surreal.

“Was it hard? Did you think you were gonna die? What do all those buttons do? Did you press them all? Miss Toadette, can you teach me how to fly? I can’t even right now!” Penelope went on and on with her questions.

 In one breath, I gave her a satisfactory answer. “Go ask Minh T.”

She was the real hero. And she sure seemed to love the attention everyone gave her. One minute, she’d be dramatically retelling the event. The other, she’d be dancing as if to put on a celebratory show for herself. But she earned the right to praise herself so much.

The noise slowly died down, and we only heard the heavy sound of heels clacking against the floor. Her Highness dusted off her shoulders and cleared her throat. “Our flight took a rather unexpected turn, but let’s be thankful we arrived in one piece.”

Cue another round of applause as everyone’s eyes locked on Minh T.

“We’re heading to the hotel right now, but once your bags are given, do whatever you wish,” Her Highness announced, rubbing her head. “When Luigi wakes up, I swear…”

Her threat fell on deaf ears due to the clamour as we squeezed into these black vans. The sleekness and tinted windows made me think I was on an espionage mission. And boy, living in Toad Town for so long numbed me to how drastically different this place was. The moment we hit the streets, it was impossible to ignore how these buildings grated against each other like oversized Thwomps. So many shops on higher floors, too. So many people gathered in these areas like ants…

When I looked at Minh, she let out a laugh. “I can tell you didn’t spend much time here. Look at your face.”

Yeah, that much was obvious. Whereas Toad Town’s buildings felt inviting and warm, these skyscrapers were intimidating. And we zoomed past way too many for me to count. Wait, did I say “zoomed?” This van rarely hit its top speed, thanks to how crowded these streets were. Toads, humans, Piantas—everybody took up the road like a sidewalk. At least doing this made sense in Toad Town since we had only one or two buses. Here? Could these people get a move on?

Before entering the pretentiously named Mushroom Kingdom Hotel (MKH), Penelope tossed cards at us all. “Two of you share a room each! If you want any room service amenities, it comes out of your pockets and not those of my mother!”

She grinned when aiming directly at my chest. A more playful grin than a demonic one, admittedly. I returned the smile, patting her on the head as she continued. Though, my happy expression was replaced with shock upon reading these key cards. Our room was on the 70th floor?

“And I thought the castle was gigantic,” I said, handing Minh her card. This hotel’s lobby made the castle look archaic. It had everything I’d imagine a rich place to contain. A golden fountain in the lobby? Check. Fancy red carpeting? Check. People with posh accents? Do I need to answer that one?

So tall was the hotel that we couldn’t even take one elevator trip to our room. First, about fifty of us pooled in a giant elevator with doors on each side. Then once we got around floor 40, Minh dragged us behind a line of people waiting for a smaller elevator. Was this how rich people operated or something? What was wrong with one elevator getting us places?

“If elevators visited every floor,” Minh explained as we escaped, “well, we’d be stopping at every floor. You wanna be trapped with the smell of sweaty people for 20 minutes?”

“Sounds like your dream come true,” I said, scanning the card against our door. “Definitely not mine.”

Wow. Our room was even smaller than my room in the castle. Perhaps that’s how the hotel could fit so many onto a single floor. But even still, the luxury aesthetic made its way into our private quarters. Much of the room’s furnishings were seemingly made from gold or bronze, one of those fancy metals. The bed also saw a size reduction, but Minh immediately dropped to her knees when seeing a cord dangling from the mattress.

“Does it adjust?” She played with the device, causing the bed to shift up, down, and even fold inward. “Give me a moment.”

While she squealed and spread out across the bed like a starfish, I observed at myself in the wall mirror. Eh… A clothes change was in order. The jeans could stay on, but the shirt was drenched in a nervous sweat. Mushroom City didn’t need a taste of my armpits. So, I switched to a dark red shirt and brushed my hair a little. Alright, now I rocked a full casual attire, sneakers and all.

“Let’s see,” I looked at my phone. 3:50. “I’m not staying in here when we’ve got hours to kill. What do you wanna do?”

“If you want, we could visit your—”

“Not the way I’d like to begin my vacation, please.”

She froze for a second, then gave me a nod. The cherry expression returned to her face. “Right, let’s not rush things. But I want you to pick what we do. You’re the new girl in town, Toadette.”

Hmm… Ooh! If we didn’t want to waste all our energy, a movie could do us wonders. Of course, the theatre experience had to be distinct here compared to Toad Town. But on top of that, movie theatres are dark. I glanced at the bottoms of Minh’s feet while she bounced on the bed, smirking.

Chapter Text

Before leaving the hotel, the vending machine ate up two minutes of our time. Minh gorged her bag with as many snacks as possible. Look, if movie prices were high in Toad Town, they had to be triple that in Mushroom City. So, the only two things we agreed on buying at the cinema were a bucket of popcorn and sodas. Once Minh’s bag was suffocating, it was time to head out. Down to the lobby, we descended.

“We walking?” she asked, slapping her flip-flops against her heels. “It’ll be a minute before we get to the movies.”

“I sat enough on that plane. Some more movement won’t kill me.” Although Minh accepted this answer, there was a secondary reason I chose to walk to the theatre. She could only walk so long before her feet got sore in those beaten shoes.

Immediately after leaving the hotel, we were cast into a sea of people and cars. Yuck, the smell of hot exhaust set a stinky atmosphere for the city. It was like standing in a pit stop.

Ignoring how some cars drove dangerously on the sidewalk, my nervousness increased upon seeing the hazards around us. People were kicking up so much dirt. The dust from the cars could hit us, too. And the sight of sticky bubblegum on the ground was not uncommon. Would Minh’s feet be okay in this situation? No, no, no… I needed them clean.

Too bad I couldn’t tell her that, otherwise she’d get suspicious as to why I focused on her feet so much recently. I just kept a careful eye on her. We stuck together like glue in this initial mass. Gritting my teeth, I pushed us toward the direction Minh faced. Finally, we were out. I could breathe a sigh of relief.

“Whoa!”

A car zipped right behind Minh, the wind sending her face-first into the ground. But she bounced like nothing had occurred. Instead, her head snapped backwards, and there was a loud shriek. Her left flip-flop had fallen into the street, waiting for a car to run it over.

Oh-no! The way she tucked down, she was going to run. Barefoot.

“I’ll get it,” I said in a hurry, carelessly throwing myself into the street. When I went to grab it, my heart nearly jumped out my mouth. A loud horn blared in front of me, with people in cars screaming. In disbelief, I screamed at the top of my lungs, “Be quiet!”

Damn, you can’t even pick something up without people being rude. Back on the sidewalk, I saw that Minh’s flip-flop didn’t appear much dirtier. Still, better to not take my chances. I wiped it on the inside of my shirt, then, with a spin, returned it to its rightful owner.

She slid it on her foot with ease. “Thanks. Streets are a lot more hectic here, aren’t they?”

“Everything’s way too dense.”

“Comes with some positives. Compared to Toad Town, most important things are in a short walking distance. See? We’re only a few blocks away from the movies now.”

Phew. That lifted some weight off my shoulders. Still, I needed to remain vigilant. Minh and I continued down the block, and after a few steps, I noticed we’d walked past something. A trash bag? Odd. Wait a minute, there was another one. And another one. And another one. And another one. Then a banana peel.

“Why are there trash bags everywhere?”

“Mushroom City’s always got trash on the sidewalk. Dump truck comes and hauls it away later.” She put her hands on her hips. “If you don’t get used to some filth, you’re gonna end up beheading yourself before the festival.”

When looking at Minh’s feet, I gagged. A dirty napkin was underneath her heel, flapping from the mild breeze. And she did absolutely nothing to get rid of it. No, she just pushed it deeper into her shoe. Ew, ew, ew! Who knew what that napkin was used for? What if it had boogers and snot on it? And now it was rubbing against her heel.

“Huh,” she also looked down, “didn’t even feel that.”

She didn’t feel that? I just wanted to shake her right then and there. She made some space so the napkin would blow away, then marched onward as if all was well. Now I trailed behind her, still shuddering. At least this position swap came with one advantage. I got a brief snippet of the bottoms of her feet again. Every time one naked foot revealed its sole, my heart fluttered. 

This feeling was indescribable, and I still didn’t know why it was happening. Nevertheless, I managed to avoid tripping over my own two feet while staring at Minh’s. Surprised I didn’t walk into a streetlamp.

Alas, all streaks of luck meet their end. The more we walked, the darker Minh’s heels became. They were a very light grey, yet the filth refused to disappear. Once that dry pattern sunk in, I knew it’d take tons of scrubbing to get it out.

Then, as we crossed the street with a group of people, I asked her something. “How can you stand getting your feet dirty without going insane?”

“What do you mean?”

“Your heels are getting so dusty. Doesn’t that bot— Why am I even asking that? No, I know it doesn’t bother you. But how and why?”

Minh shrugged, taking a brief look at her dirty toes. “Dust is everywhere. You know those floating particles you see when on the bus in the morning?”

I nodded.

“Yep, that’s dust,” she explained, tugging me to make room for other people on the sidewalk. “If I were too sensitive to it, I don’t think I’d get much done in life.”

“But it’s so… AARGH!” I felt crazy explaining myself. “Doesn’t it feel better to have clean feet? You know, when they’re soft, and you can’t feel little germs creeping on your soles?”

“Why not both? I like my feet clean sometimes, Toadette. But if you expect me to die from a little dust, get real.” She rubbed her dirty foot on my pants leg—making me flinch—and giggled. “I work in a garden, so getting messy comes with the job.”

Well, that was the best answer I could get. Pressing her further wouldn’t accomplish anything or change her viewpoint. Unfortunately, I’d just have to accept that Minh’s feet would be a little dirtier than I wanted. But let’s look at the bright side. At least they weren’t super gross yet. And I probably wasn’t going to lick them anyway. Would that even be possible without her getting suspicious? With her brain, she’d jump to conclusions quickly and probably be accurate.

“Ooh, look at that!” Minh guided my attention to a small photo booth. No line for now. “You wanna take some pictures?”

I looked to my right, and sure enough, we were in front of a large complex. Full of popping colours and with tall escalators, this had to be the cinema. Or at least, the cinema had to be inside there. But as eager as I was to get on with this movie, I desperately needed prep time. So with a smile, I followed Minh into the small booth.

She sat on the left, and I sat on the right. Ugh, it smelt like sweaty Pianta ass in here. Even she had to plug her nose initially. 

“Never used one of these before,” I said, watching her quickly tap the screen buttons.

“I got it.”

Minh selected an option for four photos, and then immediately afterwards, a large countdown stretched across the screen. 20 seconds, and it was ticking down. Hmm… 20 for each picture, I imagined.

“Can you take off a shoe?” she asked, fluffing her brown hair.

“Why?”

“I wanna lick your toes for the last one. It’d be—”

Before finishing, she pointed at the screen and beamed. I hastily followed suit, adopting a more casual smile.

FLASH!

Once the white light left our eyes, she continued speaking. “It’d be funny to actually see myself with your foot in my mouth, don’t you think?”

Unsure of how else to react, I nodded. Damn, this was the perfect time to experiment with having her toe in my mouth as well. So, why wasn’t I requesting that? If she was going to suck on my toe, would it draw suspicion if I sucked hers at the same time? For whatever reason, I remained silent while she unlaced my sneaker and tugged on my sock.

“This’ll be awesome.”

“Oh, wait!” I focused on the red countdown dropping to 3. With no time to spare, I pulled us chest to chest. Our cheeks smushed against each other while we struggled to grin.

FLASH!

The sizzling noise that came with the flash was like an annoying mosquito buzzing around your face. As the countdown continued, Minh dropped my foot and faced the camera properly.

“Let’s look moody for this one.”

“I can try.” In reality, you’d have to educate me on what’d be a grand moody expression. Maybe I should mime cutting myself? Nope, nope, bad idea. Jeez, what a horrific memory that’d leave Minh with. But okay, let’s go for a playful moody instead of a depressed moody.

I closed my eyes halfway, then did a small pout. Huh, I sure was pouty these days. Glancing at Minh, her interpretation of moody got me to snicker. She had the same gloomy eyes as me, only her lips were puckered while she placed her hands on her hips. Hehe, was she trying to be moody or sexy? All she needed was ebony lipstick, and she’d be the perfect goth girlfriend for someone to have.

FLASH!

Finally, it was time for the big picture. I brought my right foot to Minh’s face, lightly curling my toes. While our time window shrunk, Minh planted a smooch on my sole—a squeaky smooch. Considering she’d gotten my feet in her mouth twice today, it must’ve been her lucky day.

“Here goes,” she said, hopping into the correct position. Her face was closer to the camera, and taking a deep breath, she pushed her tongue between my toes like a worm. Just before the flash, I shivered.

FLASH!

And fortunately, the flash covered the tiny moan that escaped my lips.

Still exploring that creamy spot between my toes, Minh took ten seconds to retract her tongue. Like finishing a deluxe meal, she smacked her lips and gave me a cutesy smirk. Her lips were only a short distance from mine as if she’d forgotten the important rule about personal space.

“Thanks.” The word left her lips slowly while she pierced my eyes.

“Let’s see what they look like,” I rushed to say. I needed to get out this tight space before my face turned red.

When getting the pictures, we fixated on the bottom one. The one where a sexually-confused Toad licked the toes of another highly confused Toad. Minh ordered two strips, keeping one for herself while I got the remainder. You know, there was something surreal about seeing someone lick my feet. Well, I’d obviously seen it before, but never my own reaction.

“Do I always look this disturbed?” I asked, noting my horizontal eyebrows.

Minh pointed to her face. “Do I always look dumb when around your feet?”

“Not at all. You look real cute there.”

“Toadette… Hey, keep calling me cute, and I might have to go down on you tonight. Cutie.”

“EW!” I pushed her back into the booth, hearing the echoes of a madwoman’s laugh. “Get your mind out the gutter for once in your life.”

So, upon walking into this complex, the movie theatre turned out to be on the second floor. Already different from the simple walk-in system over in Toad Town. When we rode the escalator, it hit me that we’d forgotten a very important detail. What kind of movie were we even going to see?

“How about Metroid Prime 3.5?”

 “We’ve seen enough action movies for today,” I said, giving her some time to understand and giggle. “What won’t put us on serious edge?”

She named off a list of films, many seemingly based on video game stuff. Something about that Zelda chick—apparently a story where she does something for a change. Then she mentioned a racing movie with a falcon, but again, my heart wasn’t in the mood for intense action. Some Icarus boy, all these red creatures, a film about Luigi’s time in a mansion? That last one was based on a real story, but still. Come on, Minh, you can do better than this.

“Well, what about The Ice Climbers Movie?”

“The what?”

“That’s the one about these two… I don’t know what their relationship is, but they go on an adventure. It looks tame.”

The poster showed two Toad-looking creatures (without the caps) in the tightest winter gear imaginable. One was in blue—he was definitely the boy. The other was in pink—is there any question about what gender she is? They had these big hammers and were together at the base of a mountain. The tagline read, “It’s only them and ice hammers as they make their way to the top of the mountain!”

It sounded like a sappy romcom with some small action, so it wasn’t like my expectations were off the charts. We hopped in line, deciding The Ice Climbers Movie as our pick.

It took us 20 minutes to get our two tickets at the counter. Then, entering the bigger cinema room, we stepped in line for some buttery popcorn. Mmm… The warm scent of the cooking food always made me feel right at home. If I could live in a movie theatre, it wouldn’t be the worst experience having the smell of popcorn everywhere. I looked at Minh’s feet while inhaling this delicious atmosphere. Hmm…

“Something on my foot?”

I stiffened up. “Thought I saw a beetle. Maybe someone shrank with a Mini Mushroom.”

While she scanned both her feet, soles and all, I thought about it. Feet kind of smell like popcorn, don’t they? Not all of them, but it’s a decent comparison. Of course, now with that link in mind, images of the vilest feet clouded my brain. Stinky feet, feet covered in the nastiest dumpster grime, ugh… Just think about clean soles, Toadette. Wait, don’t think about feet at all. Easier said than done, especially with my mission this evening.

Speaking of getting to my mission, in the name of the Star Spirits, could this line hurry the hell up? At least Toad Town would have you in and out with your overpriced refreshments. In addition to the 20 minutes we spent getting tickets, we’d been on this line for another 23. And the movie started in ten minutes.

Once we could finally speak to someone, I slammed my palm on the counter. “Large bucket. Extra butter popcorn. Two large drinks.”

Oh, now they wanted to rush us. We got our food in a few minutes. Great service. At last, we handed our tickets to a lady, then climbed a ramp into an extended hallway. This was more what I was used to. Let’s see, we needed Theatre 12. Theatre 8, 10, ah-ha! Since I was on popcorn management duty, Minh opened the door.

“Thank you,” I said, giving her bright face a brief look before the illumination vanished. Lights didn’t return until we got farther into the movie theatre. Damn, this place was massive! How many people could it hold? Hundreds? Unfortunately, to our non-surprise, most the seats were occupied.

“Follow me,” Minh tugged me toward a seat in the back left of the theatre. A few seats in front of people, but don’t get things twisted—we were in the back. No complaints from me, though.

“What brain-damaged Goombas sit up in the front?” I asked. Now our voices were in low-volume mode. “The angle is atrocious.”

“One of life’s biggest mysteries, Toadette.”

Minh plopped in the seat and leaned back. That was the other noticeable thing about this place. The spacing between seats was greater than I’d anticipated. Normally, there’s maybe a foot and a half of walking space. Yet this place had nearly two full feet between seats. Though it may sound like a minimal difference, it was important for one reason.

WHIRR!

“Ah, there we go.”

Leaning further back, Minh sighed while her feet elevated on a recliner. No flip-flops in sight; she must’ve kicked them off just now. Have mercy, there were too many things to focus on… The film screen’s light illuminated the edges of her feet. So my eyes locked onto them first. But after that initial adrenaline burst kicked in, I also searched for a recliner button on this chair. Movie theatres could have those functions? Who’d have thought it?

How long I took to find the function was trivial because we were going through tons of trailers. You know, the boring period no mentally stable person enjoys in a theatre. At least this dull filler gave me extra time to admire her feet.

Wait, did I say “admire”? Analyse. I analysed her feet at that moment. Her blue pedicure still caught my eye, and the small size of her feet would make them easier to rub… She should’ve been grateful to be blessed with feet that fit her body size. Unlike mine. Compared to Minh, I looked like a long-foot penguin. Her wider, meatier feet matched her body shape perfectly.

“Turn up the heat if you’re cold,” she advised, twisting a dial before digging into the popcorn bucket. Right after she swallowed, that straw entered her mouth to quench her thirst.

“Don’t finish before the movie starts,” I said. “Bet refills aren’t free in this place.”

“Nope.”

Luckily, with Minh’s eyes fixated on the flashing imagery of this Emblem Warriors trailer, I could study her toes for as long as I wanted. Until the theatre got dimmer, that’s precisely what I did. But after a few minutes, it was time for the feature to properly start. This meant our lips would be zipped. We’d established that rule years ago after having too many rude filmgoers ruin our experiences. Was there a baby in here we had to know about?

When the red company logo faded in, I finally reached for the bucket. Um… Another hand met me there. Minh acted like nothing was wrong, just wiggling her fingers against mine. Meanwhile, sweat raced down my forehead and onto my shirt. I scooped up some popcorn and tossed it in my mouth, getting out of that situation before things escalated.

Damn it. While it was sweet viewing Minh’s feet like this due to the recliners, how could I get close to them now? My original plan was to drop the occasional popcorn kernel and get on the floor to recover it. While down there, I’d touch Minh’s feet like a crawling spider, pretending the popcorn was close to her. Perhaps it was stupid, in hindsight, but it was something. Now I had to change course to analyse her feet further.

Think, Toadette. No one’s going to see you in this theatre due to how dim the lights are, even with the movie’s vibrant colours. Hmm… My original strategy could come into play for one thing.

Swiftly, I picked up some more popcorn and intentionally let some rain on the floor.

I tapped Minh’s shoulder, then mouthed these words. “Let me get that.”

She nodded. Now, I slid out of the chair and slowly scanned the floor. Not for the goodness of the popcorn but for something more significant. In fact, two items. While the characters in the movie sounded like they were getting up to something naughty—or maybe they were just breaking ice—I smiled upon realising the naughty things I was to accomplish.

Better still, some butter and popcorn came along with these shoes. I carefully hid them in my shirt and whispered to Minh, “Bathroom.” The last thing I needed was for her to get suspicious of my absence.

My groin tingling, I rushed out the theatre until I could lock myself in a restroom stall. Hoo-boy, these pink flip-flops had sure seen better days. Her signature flip-flops were the equivalent of my signature flats. At least mine retained their pure pink colour over the years, through all the trials and tribulations. Even through blistering winds and scorching deserts, they looked top-notch. Meanwhile, Minh’s flip-flops adopted a darker hue over the years. She did tend to get dirtier than me…

Sniff, sniff, sniff!

Yet the benefit of destroying her shoes was immediately clear. They captured my friend’s essence in so many ways. Her earthy bodily odour, the accurate footprint burnt into the shoes, even the warmth her presence brought.

What’s going on inside my pants? I shouldn’t have felt so lightweight and floaty, right? But I moaned so loudly that I had to pinch myself to quit. What if a kid walked in and heard me? Or worse, the main Toad herself. Taking extra caution, I rubbed my nose in her flip-flops, sucking in the smell of her feet. No, it wasn’t clean like I wanted. However, I couldn’t stop. Why? What about her foot smell made it hard to resist? I never should’ve smelt her feet to begin with, let alone her flip-flops.

But here I was, sniffing them in a cramped bathroom. The last thing any sane woman would want to do.

Then my tongue left my mouth and took one solid lick upon her shoe. A stray popcorn kernel caught in the strap went down my throat, bringing a grin to my face. Interesting, honestly. The shoe looked so filthy, yet it didn’t sully the flavour as badly as I worried it would. In fact, the butter did more to enhance the shoe. And so I lapped it over and over like a bear slurping honey. Lick, lick, lick. 

“This is so wrong,” I mumbled, rubbing the shoe against the bottom of my face. I backed from the it, then stared at the pink footwear. Would I feel dirty if I caught Minh smelling my shoes randomly? Yes. In fact, I lashed out at her the first time I discovered this fetish. So how could I bring myself to do this?

No, Toadette. Bad girl! I had to stop right now, before I unbuttoned my jeans.

Back in the theatre, her chair was out of its recliner mode, making her sit properly upright. Once I entered my seat, I slowly slid her shoes onto the floor, kicking them under her feet. Phew. At least I could begin to shake off some of this guilt. Eyes on the screen, I reached for the popcorn on her lap… This day was just full of surprises.

She made no effort to remove my hand from her crotch. I pulled back instantly.

“Popcorn?” I mouthed.

She pointed to the floor. Sure enough, the popcorn was next to her dangling feet. Wait, next? No, her feet were in the popcorn! Minh, were you doing this on purpose? Did you realise I made off with your dirty shoes?

“It was an accident,” she mouthed back, in between chewing on candy.

Mmm-hmm. Accident or not, she was helping me. Because now I had an even better excuse to get near her feet.

Getting on all fours, I pulled one of her feet out of the bucket. Having her toes this close to my lips really tempted me to suck on them, but I was strong enough to ignore them. I yanked the other foot out, then shovelled more food in my mouth. Good thing I couldn’t see the popcorn in detail, otherwise I might’ve vomited at the sight of foot dirt covering them. They tasted similar, too.

Wait. I should just bring this bucket into my seat. Duh.

And just as I tried, a warm surprise slapped my lips. Ugh, screw it. I drove Minh’s foot inside my mouth and sucked the toes. Now the flavour changed into something more bitter, yet the butter and oil enhanced this act tenfold. Don’t get me started about the butter that found its way underneath her toenails. I got a few licks in those tight spaces, softly stroking the top of her foot…

You know what? Best to enjoy myself now and worry about explaining myself later. It wasn’t like she was laughing or complaining, so let’s go!

Once I had enough of her chunky toes, I sucked on the ball of her foot. It seemed to soak up just as much popcorn essence as the digits, so it had me attracted like a cat to catnip. I naturally lowered myself down her sole, then parked at the heel. Sucking, licking, it went by the same.

However, my mind’s gears switched when I reached her other foot. I hadn’t felt this in such a long time. And doing it in a movie theatre made me feel like the biggest whore on the planet. As I licked between the Toad’s toes, my hand snuck into my jeans. Nobody heard the unbuttoning over the angry yelling sounds from these pink and blue blobs in the movie. Without even wetting them up, my fingers slowly took a journey inside my vagina.

Wow! The blush couldn’t get redder than this.

My tongue wasn’t the only thing to be rewarded. There was something so soothing about feeling Minh’s silky soft feet push against my cheeks. Heck, the fact they were soft was something to be celebrated considering the city dirt.

My breathing got so heavy when both her feet trapped my nose between her toes. The smell! It was stronger than the flip-flops and still not stinky. Though, it had more character than when she was on the plane. And while I breathed her feet in, I sped up the circling motion of my thumb on my clitoris. Ah…

“This is nice,” I whispered. Under any other circumstances, I’d have been sickened to hear that come out my mouth. But today, I was in so much bliss that it didn’t matter what thoughts poured out my mouth. Coating her soles in my spit was the priority, and I was doing a pretty job at it. When I returned between her toes, my tongue left them all slippery. Now it was time to suck on her wide heels again.

“Miss, what are you doing?”

Must’ve been some dialogue from the movie. Because I looked around and saw no one eyeballing me. So, I continued to play with myself and lick Minh’s yummy soles.

“Miss.”

Nope. Ignoring. My best friend’s feet were too interesting to pay mind to whatever plot happened with these ice climbers.

Tap, tap. tap!

What the? I nearly bit Minh’s pinkie toe off before looking up. To my horror, a little girl was staring straight at me. Black hair, beady eyes, she could’ve been a Lakitu. She couldn’t have been older than nine with that voice and demeanour. And at that moment, that dreadful moment, my fingers were in pleasure’s cavern.

I slowly positioned my hand out my pants, then looked at Minh Now she was looking at me. Oh crap! But could she see my hands? Did she catch me getting off?

“Ssh!” I motioned the Lakitu girl to pay attention to the movie, then crawled back into my seat. Hmph! And I could’ve totally had an orgasm, something I’d lacked in years. Then again, this child saved me the embarrassment of going home with wet pants.

The movie continued for another 60 minutes. And to my surprise, it wasn’t as sappy as I expected. This Nana girl was so adorable in every scene she appeared in—my heart broke like a wet paper when she thought Popo had died. Overall, a nice 7/10 movie; good, just good. When the credits appeared, I knew some people would sit to wait until the very end of the film—they wanted to learn the secret of whether these two were siblings or friends. But Minh and I were already out of the building. Perhaps for the better, as if these two turned out to be siblings after that kissing scene, I’d drop its rating to a 5/10. On the way out, Minh recounted how much she enjoyed this flick, bouncing about like a rabbit.

“I think I’m getting better at not crying during these movies,” she said, still carrying the half-full bucket of popcorn.

“Well, I can’t say I saw a teardrop, so good work.”

“So um, you liked licking my feet down there? You licked more than you ate.”

I looked out the corner of my eye. “I just wanted all the butter your feet stole from the popcorn.”

“But did you like licking my feet?” Minh’s voice got louder, almost more assertive.

“No, but I didn’t hate it.” In contrast, my voice softened and got deeper in pitch. I didn’t want to ruin the mood, but I wasn’t stupid enough to spill all the beans to her. The sad, disgusting truth that… I enjoyed licking her feet. By 1%. Not a lot, so don’t get your hopes up.

“Lemme tell you, I definitely liked it.”

Hearing that made me feel a twinge better. At least she didn’t seem suspicious with why I tasted her feet, even for a bizarre reason such as desiring butter.

When we returned to the hotel, the dusk sky transitioned to night while the temperature dropped outside. Finally, we entered the bathroom—the first thing any girl should do when in a place. Minh’s eyes widened as the lights came on, and I nodded in approval. Despite our room being smaller than mine at the castle, this bathroom screamed five stars. The big deal was a separate bath and shower; no turn-taking meant we could wash ourselves as soon as we returned.

Not wanting to expose my whole body, I chose the glass-protected shower. It was blurry enough to censor my private parts, though unfortunately, it meant also I couldn’t see Minh. By the time I lathered myself with soap, she’d stripped in the room, then filled the tub with water.

Rubbing my own feet as I sat in the shower—be quiet, I know it sounds ridiculous—it hit me that a question went unanswered.

“You never explained why your feet were killing that popcorn.”

A splashing sound came before Minh spoke. “Oh. Well, I kind of do that normally when I’m by myself to warm my feet up. I said it was an accident ‘cause I forgot you were with me. You took a long time in the bathroom. Sorry.”

“That’s about the most Minh T. answer I could’ve gotten,” I said. It was hard to tell if she was lying without seeing her face. But that’d never been a good skill of hers to begin with. “How often are you going to the movies by yourself, then?”

“Way more than I go with friends.”

And thus began an awkward silence. It lasted a few profoundly uncomfortable seconds before Minh’s tone sweetened.

“I’m joking. Kind of. Look, I go a lot with or without friends.”

Ah. How stupid I was for concerning myself. Of course Minh had way more friends than me, so her chances of being lonely were minimal. From guys and girls, she had a friend list a kilometre long. Sometimes, well often, I wished I could be as open as her. But having a few small friends beat having tons of friends I couldn’t remember.

“I hope they’ve got the richest mouthwash here,” I said as I stretched my legs. “I can’t wake up smelling like I just sucked popcorn toes.”

“My toes could’ve been way dirtier. When you were in the bathroom, I actually rubbed them on the seat cushion to clean them a little. Didn’t think you’d suck them, but amazing how that worked out, huh?”

“Yes…”

47 minutes later, a few minutes after Minh had dried herself off, I let the steam wall pour out of the shower. Wearing a loose shirt and no pants was expected. So, I freshened my mouth, then headed for bed. The Toad was already lying in her usual position. It still confused me why she preferred sleeping with her head on the foot of the bed, but knowing her bizarre fetish now, I connected some dots.

The best thing was being able to sleep with her feet next to my face. So, she couldn’t call me a weirdo for looking at them when they were on these pillows. And now that they were clean again, any qualms I had with germs vaporised.

“Did you enjoy your first day in Mushroom City?” she asked, fluffing the pillows on her side.

“I’d say so.”

“I wonder what Her Highness is gonna make us do tomorrow. If she’s got anything planned.”

“If she’s got anything planned? You know she does. She might as well revoke the title ‘foot slave’ from me. Because I’m her special errand girl. And babysitter. She could make me a plumber and I wouldn’t—”

Smooch…

“Did you just kiss my foot?”

Minh patted my feet with a goofy smile on her face, then yawned like a lion. “Just a goodnight kiss. I’m so tired ‘n’ stuff.”

“Same here,” I said. I pulled myself out the bed to turn off all the lights in the room. And once in darkness and under the heavy blankets, I reached for one of Minh’s feet. There it was, soft and squishy, a bit dry since it just came out of a steaming bath.

Smooch… Smooch!

Her giggle as I planted a wet kiss on her big toe ended this night on a fine note. “Goodnight,” I moaned, collapsing into the mountain of white pillows.

Chapter Text

I brushed my teeth, dressed myself, and was ready to head out. Now, time to pull a switcheroo. Instead of letting Minh get the jump on me, I’d get the jump on her. Though, my wake-up method couldn’t be a carbon copy of hers. Why not try something a bit more fun? With her sleepy soles spread out across my pillows, the girl was begging for a tickle test.

First, I poked her soles lightly. Then I wiggled my fingers on the sides of her feet. After enough tickles, she began to stir. Her crust-covered eyes fought to stay shut while she moaned.

“Stop it. It’s too early.”

“Really?” My nail dug into the middle of her sole, right in that delicate pressure point.

“Ahaaahaaahahahaha! Toadette!”

The way she sprung up almost made me lose my grip! Immediately, I put all my weight on her back and locked her legs into position. Then, up and down I went. The more her feet squirmed, the tighter I gripped her legs. Seeing her toes bend out of control put a smirk on my face, and looking back, she was pounding the bed frame in resistance.

“Okay, I’ll pick up the pace.” And so, I scratched every inch of her soles.

“I’m awake! I’m awake!”

“Gotta make extra sure,” I whispered. I slowly leaned forward, sticking out my tongue.

BOP!!

…Okay, maybe I deserved that. This kick to the mouth set Minh free, and she tumbled off the mattress.

“You okay?” she asked.

“You almost knocked out my teeth. I thought we could both get our morning started early.”

“Well, someone got painted with the happy brush.” The sleepy Toad rubbed her eyes. “Did Her Highness give us something to do?”

“I’d like to actually enjoy my time in Mushroom City, so I’m not rushing to found out. Let the little menace update us when the time comes. She’s got my number anyhow.”

Just as she set her hand on the bathroom doorknob, Minh cocked her head at me. Take a wild guess what her eyes were looking at. No, not my chest. Lower, lower, warmer… You’re getting good at this. What was she enamoured by this time?

“No socks?” She seemed confused because the rest of me was dressed.

“I’m gonna go out in those slides,” I said. “Or should I wear something else?”

“Wise move. Anything that makes you look poor or lower-class is the right thing to wear here.”

While she locked herself in the bathroom, my body floated towards her used flip-flops. Minh talked and talked about the dangers of looking rich in Mushroom City. Apparently, if you look like you’re making big money, you’re begging to get mugged. And while she lectured me, I inhaled the scent of a well-off, middle-class gardener. Mmm… It should be illegal for a shoe’s odour to be so addictive. Label it as a killer drug.’

“Check me out,” she said, stepping into the room. If I’d reacted a second later, she’d have found my nose against her shoes.

Talk about looking poor. Minh ditched her sensible, traditional work outfit in favour of something that screamed, “Please bone me on the spot, random stranger”. From top to bottom: her hair was scragglier; she had a black crop top with a Piranha Plant emblem; her jeans looked like a cat went wild on them, and they were so tight that her vagina must’ve been crying; and finally, the only elegant part of her appearance was her toes. Those blue, trimmed, ocean-hued toes.

“Do we look trashy enough?” I asked, prompting a giggle fest from Minh.

“Hmm… Should I go barefoot or with my flip-flops?”

Whack! Whack!

I hurled both flip-flops at her face. “You said to look lower-class, not like a homeless prostitute.”

“Fine, fine.”

Now that we’d gotten ourselves together, we rode the elevator to the lobby. More accurately, the 40th-floor sky lobby. After all, it wasn’t like we could leave on empty stomachs.

Part of me felt heavy embarrassment for choosing such a basic dish, but who can resist a mountain of waffles? Having these hot wonders topped off with warm syrup was the cherry on top. Their rich flavour blew away that of those store-bought ones. And best of all—these cost us absolutely nothing.

“Someone’s got a big appetite, huh?” Minh had some nerve asking me that. As if she hadn’t already finished one and a half cheese omelettes. In fact, the girl rose from the table. “Time for a third one.”

Yet I’m the one with the big appetite. Okay. Back to enjoying my breakfast in peace. Mmm… Buttery, syrupy waffles…

“Morning, rookie.”

That voice. That name. I slowly turned my head to the left, and there he was. Captain Toad. Strangely enough, his beige uniform was nowhere to be found. Instead, he had a blue shirt and black slacks with a utility belt around his waist. Was he a captain or a police officer now?

I waved. Immediately, I wanted to scream that I was not getting near his feet again. But guys tend to forget things more than girls, so it was probably a distant memory for him.

“Mind if I sit? Why, thank you very much.”

He plopped in Minh’s seat, gobbling up what remained of her second omelette. Wow. Rude and assertive. And I couldn’t tune him out entirely since he seemed to want to talk me to death.

“Since we don’t start prepping until right before the Star Festival, I’ve decided I’m gonna hang out with you. Before you object…”

Yep, he continued. But he did indirectly remind me of what day it was. We got here Friday, so today was Saturday. And based on what I knew, the Star Festival was always on Tuesday. But it’d have to be the Tuesday after this upcoming one—therefore, we’d have ten days before the event. Hopefully, Her Highness wouldn’t make us work on weekends.

“Are you serious right now?” Minh yelled like a mouse and ran about as quickly as one. To my shock, she elbowed Captain Toad out her chair without hesitation. “I was eating that!”

He just laughed, licking his lips. “One’s enough, isn’t it, chunky?”

“Maybe I really like the taste and wanna keep eating to re-taste it.”

“You just said you were still hungry. Somehow.”

Her cheeks puffed up like a balloon. Knowing the storm that was approaching, I patted her shoulder over 100 times in 20 seconds. Each second felt like an eternity, but at that 21st count, she sighed and ate her third omelette. Although, she picked at it a few times and was overall finicky.

I glared at Captain Toad. Even for an insensitive guy, what a tone-deaf comment to make. Everyone who knew Minh understood she was conscious about her build. Hence, I only uttered words like “chubby” and “chunky” in my head. Don’t even get me started on “fat”. The last thing anyone wanted to deal with was a depressed, paranoid Minh. Well, clearly anyone except for this idiot.

“I’d expect someone with your title to be a little more chivalrous,” I said.

“The Mushroom Kingdom’s forces used to be like that, you know. But then they hired me, and WA-ZAA!” He tossed the heavy syrup bottle into the air. “I did some redecorating and started a new standard in the force. Good-bye to chivalry, hello to—”

CLANK!

While he was seeing bleeding stars, Minh and I covered our mouths. The snickers still leaked.

“You’ve been here for years, then?” I asked.

“Ninth year. Started when I was 13.”

“13?”

He rubbed the reddened bruise on his cap. “Junior program at 13, basic guard at 16, captain at 18.”

Working at 13? If he went to normal school, how could he have possibly had time for fun? Then again, I guess I’d too been working at that age. Nothing concrete or consistent like a job at the castle, yet I still beat high school. If this was his ninth year on the job, then he must’ve been at least 22. Three years older but somehow more immature.

“I’ve yet to see any of your captain skills come into effect. Last time I checked, WE handled the plane,” I said.

“Hang with me long enough, and I’ll show you a thing or two,” he promised. “Where you two going?”

“Anywhere away from Her Highness.” I looked at Minh for a more solid answer. She was the Mushroom City expert, after all.

She swallowed the last of her food and stood. “Thought about this last night. I’m gonna take you to this arcade I always went to.”

“Nope. I always lose at that stuff.”

“You got anywhere better to go?” The girl plucked me out my seat and began pushing me towards the elevator. “They have more than video games anyway.”

Before the door closed, Captain Toad jammed his hand between the sensors.

“You’re coming?” Minh asked.

“You objecting?”

Her pitch deepened. “Just don’t do anything wild. Please.”

“I’ll try,” he said with a childish grin.

“Is there something I should know about?” I asked Minh.

No response. Damn, what did he do in the past? Kill someone at a bar because of a girl? Bang a stray Chain Chomp in an alley? By the time we reached outside, I’d come up with 40 potential stories this character could have.

The morning sky seemed quite cloudy, but there was enough sunshine that the day would go smoothly. 25% chance of rain, if I had to estimate. How the hell did weathermen know the patterns so well?

Minh pushed ahead of us. “Now this is on the other end of town, so we’ve got some choices. Train, bus, or taxi?”

“Train.” “Let’s walk.”

“YOU can walk, Captain. Me and Toadette ain’t walking there. You see what’s on our feet?”

The male looked at our shoes, then shook his head. “Didn’t think to wear boots?”

“And get our feet smelling as bad as yours?” I shuffled past him. “No thank you.”

Wow, Toadette, you just couldn’t resist bringing that up. Fortunately, I didn’t have to hear his mouth since the city sounds dominated everything. The river of cars honking their horns was obnoxiously persistent, and the fans of A/C units couldn’t shut up if you begged them. But at least I could zone out in this concrete jungle of noise. Finding a subway station took little time, and let me tell you, descending underground and seeing people was uncanny. This stood in sharp contrast to the lonely sewers of Toad Town.

“I’ll be back,” Minh said, walking to a machine while leaving me with… What a great friend she was.

Once alone, this guy immediately started to chat me up. Of course, the first thing he had to mention involved my feet. Why was I not surprised?

“Your feet are massive, you know,” he said.

“Tell me something I don’t know.” I wiggled my toes. “Does everyone magically have a foot fetish today?”

“Excuse me?”

Before blurting something out like an idiot, I replayed his short comment in my head. If he knew about Minh’s secret, he would’ve mentioned something about it. But maybe he didn’t. And I wasn’t going to rat my friend out when she was so protective about her odd fetish.

“Never mind.” I turned my back to him, but curiosity got the better of me. “You have a foot fetish, though?”

“Gah! What the fuck?” His outburst attracted some eyes. “You think I’d ever shove someone’s foot in my mouth? I’m not some sissy!”

“Yet smelling someone’s foot is fine?”

“On the plane? I didn’t even smell her foot. YOU did. Even if I did, that’s a game. You’re looking way too deeply into a shallow pond, rookie.”

“You two ready?”

Minh popped up to slide a ticket in each of our hands. After dealing with turnstiles and waiting on a bench for two minutes, yellow lights finally emerged from a tunnel. And then—VROOM—the train zoomed past us briefly before grinding to a halt. Once the sound of creaking metal maxed out, the vehicle huffed, sputtered, and opened its doors. We replaced the leaving passengers.

“How long’s this gonna take?” I asked Minh, who was holding one of the poles.

“Hour, give or take.” She squinted at the map above the seats. “This is on the opposite end of Mushroom City. Told ya we’re not walking there.”

“Whoa!”

How did I forget to sit or find a pole? I fell right into Minh now that the train had picked up some speed. And laughing at this was the Toad who forced himself into our party. He sat in the seat next to us. Actually, since this was going to take so long, I might as well have sat, too.

But a few seats were available on the bench Captain Toad sat on. And a naughty smile took over my face.

“What are you doing?”

Sighing, I sat in the last seat and stretched my legs until my feet rested on his lap. My black slides were still attached, dangling ever so slightly. While he tried pushing my feet off, I kept putting them back.

“I’m getting comfy for 60 minutes. You can ignore my feet.”

Minh looked over, then her head swiftly snapped toward the windows. A good move, as Captain Toad immediately glanced at her face. How well could she hide her foot fetish if someone deliberately showed off their feet? Captain Toad could count his stars lucky that this train was super crowded. Anything we did would be lost in the shuffle, and besides, stranger things were occurring. Like a darker human in a cow costume eating a bunch of cookies. Or the old dude oozing slime like a slug, wobbling as he made his way for the doors.

Captain Toad’s eyes remained on my wiggling toes. Although, his face showed nothing but pure disgust.

“You think I have ugly feet?” I asked.

“How do you rank beauty when it comes to feet?”

“You tell me.”

He shrugged, still trying to push them away. “I just don’t want them in front of me like this, thank you.”

“If you compliment them, I’ll stop. Promise.”

“Great. We got a chick whose self-worth is way in the dumps.” How rude! He removed one of my slides, observing my sole for a few seconds. “Your feet are soft and clean. There?”

I chuckled. “Is that all?”

“Fine. You have nice toenails. I wish they were red instead of black, but whatever floats your boat. I guess your feet being long makes you look stronger than you really are. You look like you can probably stomp a durian open. And maybe your feet won’t smell horrible.”

Minh piped up. “Why don’t you smell them just to make sure?”

“YOU stay out of this.”

“Smell ’em, smell ’em,” I began to chant. Hearing these positive statements about my feet did wonders for my mood. Yet more than that, this was just fascinating to witness. I’d never desired someone to even mention my feet, and here I was, begging this boy to write a whole narrative about them.

SNIFF!

Well… How did they smell today? We’d just gotten started.

“Yes, they’re clean,” he said. “Now can you get your feet off me?”

“No prob.”

Minh and I laughed for the next few minutes, turning Captain Toad’s face from peachy to magma red. During the rest of the ride, we mostly kept to ourselves. Captain Toad pulled out a notepad and scribbled some stuff on it, Minh was lost in her phone, and I was staring at both of them the whole time. One moment, my eyes would be on Minh’s feet—yep, from a side view, her soles were getting some dirt. And another moment, I’d observe Captain Toad. Ew, no, not his feet, which were in boots. But just looking at him in general from top to bottom.

Admittedly, how strange it was that we looked poor as hell, and he was dressed like a formal cop. Did passengers think he had us under arrest?

“Lemme ask,” I said to Minh when we finally left the crowded train, “you think he’s cute?”

“Captain Toad?” We both looked back, seeing his unamused face as he marched forward. Minh stuck her tongue out in return. “He’s a handful, but yeah, he crosses the cute line. ‘Specially when he’s barefoot.”

“Sicko,” I mumbled.

“What about you? You like him?”

“I’ve seen better. He’d make a cute princess, but that’s the last thing I’m looking for in a man.”

“I dunno. Maybe you two could make some love.”

“What the?” I shook my head frantically. “Get that out your mind. I like bigger bodies, anyway.”

“It’s too hot to get out my mind, Toadette. You’re barefoot, he’s barefoot. Then he pulls your clothes off, and you’re rubbing your head on his chest. And eventually, he’s got you bent over the—”

SLAP!

“Ouch. Wait, here we are. Illepacs’ Arcade.”

We parked before the arcade doors. This building had several glass doors, as a matter of fact. It was getting uncomfortable just how close everything was in Mushroom City. Every building was like a shared space. As Captain Toad caught up, he huddled us like we were making a game plan.

“Okay, so who’s paying?”

Neither Minh nor I had an answer. After sharing a few awkward glances, Minh stretched out her hand.

“Toadette?”

“Why do I have to pay?”

“Then, Captain Toad, you’re paying.”

“Aren’t you the dodo that planned on coming here? Empty those pockets!”

“My funds can only take so much of a beating,” she said, pointing to both of us. “I’m not on Her Highness’ payroll.”

I stomped my foot. “Let’s act like adults and pool our money, how ’bout that?”

“I say this is still on the stank-foot girl.”

“Dios mío, enough!” Minh clapped her hands. “If we’re gonna bicker about this all day, then I’ll pay. But in exchange, you two are gonna do something funny for me when we get back to the hotel.”

“And that is?” “What?”

She smirked. “Suck each other’s toes until I’m satisfied.”

“EW!” I covered my mouth to prevent the vomit from escaping.

“I’m gonna gut you,” Captain Toad said, reaching for his utility belt.

“Don’t tell me we came here for nothing,” Minh continued, opening the door. “Take the pacifiers out your mouths, and let’s play.”

As soon as we entered, a warm smell hit my face. Thank the stars it wasn’t some bad BO, but the smell of cinnamon. Unexpected for an arcade. The whole game room was comparable to a small bowling alley in scale. Not the biggest, but enough space to where you never felt trapped. And after walking past the dreaded arcade machines with loud noises and flickering screens, there were billiards tables, skill cranes, basketball games, and other activities outside of video games.

“Morning, Mr Illepacs Jr,” Minh said, slapping her hand on the counter.

“Oh, it’s you again.”

The cashier looked to be in his 30s. If human nerd was a person, this would be that guy. He was so lanky that his arms looked like greasy noodles. His hair was unkempt and sticking to his forehead in clumps. He spoke with a bit of a lisp. Forget all that, just look at his eyes. All sunken in like they’d never seen the light of day. Definitely gave me vibes of the type of guy to piss in a bottle while sitting at the computer all day.

And he was smoking a cigarette! He didn’t give a damn about life.

But I still greeted him with a smile. Unlike Captain Toad, who had already wandered back to the game room, I valued making good impressions.

Minh set some coins on the counter. “I’m in town for a bit, and my friend’s visiting, so I wanna show her around.”

“Alright, here go your tokens.” He slid smaller silver coins across the glass. “Do your thing. See you in a million years.”

“Please, I’m never gone for that long,” Minh laughed. “What do you wanna start with, Toadette?”

“Um…”

So many options, but also so many people stealing these options. It was 10 in the morning, how many people come to an arcade this early? Whatever. Looking, looking… Ooh!

“Skee-Ball! I can’t lose at that.”

— 5 minutes later —

“How are you so good at this?” I screamed.

Minh was in stitches while I was reaching my limit. Rolling the ball up the hill was supposed to be easy peasy. But for some reason, the balls love her more than they love me. They always go too high when I’m handling them, yet they’re just right whenever Minh’s grubby hands touch them.

Suddenly, a stream of paper came from the machine. Tickets?

“These are for what?” I asked.

“Remember those things on the wall at the counter? We get enough tickets, we can spend them on those prizes.”

“And what do you want? All I saw was basic stuff.”

Minh looked at her feet. “They’ve got these flats up there for 1000 tickets. Pretty hard goal to reach, but they look about my size.”

Wait. If Minh finally uses some closed-toed shoes, her foot’s essence will be even stronger baked into them than the flip-flops. Where’s the scent going to go? Nowhere. With that knowledge, I set a firm goal for that day.

“Then let’s rack up some tickets,” I said, tossing another token into the Skee-Ball machine. “I assume they’re based on the points we score during this game.”

“Yep. Ours combined.”

Minh took her turn on the machine. Every shot got into the 40-hole, and there were nine balls. So, she scored 320 points. By the time she finished, she did her little victory dance that got under my skin. She may have been good, but I could be better.

Once the ball sat in my hand, I rolled it up the hill. 10. Another one. 10.

Okay, time for a change of plans. Removing my slides, I positioned a ball underneath my foot. Sorry for the random innocent that had to touch it later.

“Toadette?” Minh poked me.

“What…in the negative balance are you doing?”

Captain Toad was this close to ruining my concentration. I gave him a glance, then kicked the ball up the hill with the tip of my foot. It rolled and rolled, going higher in the air than I’d anticipated. Jeez, I just made myself look like the queen of idiots!

50.

It landed in the 50-hole. Both Toads looked flabbergasted.

“Hehehe.” I continued the assault on the Skee-Ball machine, blessing each ball with my foot so it could land in the topmost hole. And, to my surprise, one of the shots ricocheted into the 100-hole. In total, I ended the game with 420 points. Woo-hoo!

And after that, another stream of tickets poured out. This one longer than the last.

“Good job,” Minh said.

“I think I’ll do you one better.” Captain Toad stepped up to me. “Without needing to use my feet, thank you.”

Oh, so we had a tough guy here. I’d take him on with no issue. But if he lost, I would force him to kiss my feet right here and now. In front of EVERYBODY. This boy needed to be taught some humility.

When the machine activated again, he lined up for the 100-hole on the right. And Captain Toad threw in that direction all nine times, similar to Minh’s 40-hole strategy. Six balls made it, and three balls got 10.

“Top 630, Toadette,” he told me, slapping my cheek like a child.

“You’re on.”

Clearly, aiming for 50 wouldn’t benefit me in this round. My toes scrunched around the ball, and I turned to the 100 holes. It’d be good enough if I could just get two balls in there. Come on, feet. Don’t let me down.

As my toes released the first ball, it shot into the 100-hole. But the second one missed. And the third one missed. At this point, I focused all my attention on the 50 holes.

“420 again!” I growled.

“Wanna smoke, Toadette?” Minh joked. Great, now they were both laughing at me.

Counting the tickets we had, the number sat close to 50. That wasn’t even close to my established goal. We’d have to play another game to get to 1000. As I looked across various attractions, one caught my eye. A stacking simulator. It was a video game, but the side of the machine boasted about offering 9000 tickets to anyone who could max out the counter.

“Guys,” I said, “that one.”

Minh’s eyes widened. “I’ve gotten so close before, but it’s about as easy as pushing a Thwomp up a hill.”

“You didn’t have me tagging along, did you? We’ve got a strategy.”

“Strategy?” Captain Toad folded his arms. “Just balance it. It can’t be that hard. Observe, pussies.”

He pushed us to the side, jamming tokens into the machine before locking his hands on the controller—a wide controller that resembled the board blocks would fall on. The game’s music was as happy as possible, containing some cool techno elements. But our noble captain wasn’t holding it together after the fifth block.

 “YOU LOSE!” the game roared, sputtering out maybe 10 tickets.

“It cheated!” Captain Toad shoved more tokens in and repeated the cycle again. This time, he only reached three blocks before the machine insulted him. “Damn it!”

SMASH!

He looked back. Minh and I were staring at him partially concerned. It was just a game, and he was hitting the machine like it attacked him.

“What?” he asked in a huffy tone.

“Let Minh play it. I’m pretty sure she can—”

“But you know she’s—”

I swung him to the side. “A girl who’s better than both you and me at these video games. Yes. Minh, take your shoes off.”

Minh raised an eyebrow, then her mouth slowly opened as if to say, “I got you.” Slipping off her pink flip-flops, she cracked her knuckles and slid before the machine. Now we had an actual game plan. But I couldn’t accomplish this alone.

“What’s this strategy?” the male asked.

“It sounds weird, but we’re gonna lick her feet.”

He was visibly shaken. “I think YOU’RE the one with the foot fetish.”

“No, I am not!” I grabbed him by the collar. “When we were playing a game a while back, we discovered that Minh focuses better when a tongue is on her feet. Don’t question why, it’s not for any fetish nonsense. Just lick her heel while she handles this game.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?” I was already getting on all fours. “Scared?”

I waited for an answer that had no intention of arriving.

“Look, did you see any prizes you want in that room?”

He put a finger to his chin. “A security camera would be useful since we need tightening here. But those cost 4000 tickets.”

I smiled. “And we can make that if we lick Minh’s feet. Please? Pretty please with sugar on top?”

I demonstrated my insane plan by wrapping my lips around Minh’s plump heel. It was at that moment that the game’s music finally commenced. Mmm… Mmm! The dirt was indeed caked into her foot this time compared to the movies. Yet… Why was I enjoying the flavour? It was gritty and earthy, but my tongue refused to stop swirling. Round and round, I sucked on her heel like it was an ice cream cone.

“I’m at four blocks,” Minh said, kicking her free foot backwards.

“Captain Toad.”

When I looked at him again, he toughened up his face and hit the floor. Unlike me, his eyes were fully shut while he slobbered on Minh’s crusty foot. Yuck, never knew crusty could be such a hot adjective in this context. But thinking of how rough her feet were triggered me to lick harder.

I wanted to wet her foot up as much as I could. She could absorb all the moisture from my mouth.

“In between my toes, Toadette.” Minh offered my tongue comfort between her dry digits. Meanwhile, I heard the machine counting up to ten blocks.

Checking out Captain Toad, a green hue overtook his poor face. Yeah, I was starting to feel a bit bad for him. It was evident that he didn’t want to do this. The wonders of Minh’s feet weren’t transferring to him like they were to me. However, the fact that he chose to help us warmed my heart. I’d probably make it up to him somehow. A kiss on the cheek or something. For now, back to soaking Minh’s toes.

Once her toe received a thorough sucking, I wormed my way under her foot and let her step all over my face. From there, my tongue could give her a washing for minutes. Did I care about the heavy weight crushing me? Not if that heavy weight involved my best friend’s wide foot. Gosh, her feet were pretty.

…Reality check, Toadette. You denied having a foot fetish for so long, and even now, you wouldn’t accept it. Maybe you didn’t have it in the past, but you could’ve developed it at this point.

Well, maybe I did like feet. Girls feet. Only particular girl feet, as a matter of fact. But okay, I could live with this as long as it was kept under wraps. Nobody was to formally know that I, Toadette, kinda— Screw it, I liked a few feet.

And as Minh’s foot dust went down my gullet, my moaning commenced. Just like in the theatre, the loud noises within this arcade meant she couldn’t hear me. Although, people walking by must’ve looked confused as hell.

“How are you doing there?” I asked Captain Toad, picking Minh’s foot up to suck on her toes again.

“Miserable.”

For two more minutes, we treated Minh’s meaty feet until she screamed in glee. In the process, she stomped on our faces about twenty times each. Mmm… Dirty me up, Minh.

“Yes! I finally beat it!”

“Hey,” Captain Toad panted, wiping his tongue on his shirt, “you better not be lying.”

“It’s over 9000! Look!” Minh dove into the sea of tickets that the machine barfed out.

I kept staring at Minh’s cute soles, proud of the work I did cleaning her right foot. Captain Toad did a lacklustre job on the left foot, but who could blame him? A month ago, I would’ve done the same thing. I turned to the disturbed fellow and grabbed his shoulder.

“Thanks.”

Smooch!

The first time I kissed a guy who wasn’t my brother. It was a small gesture, but it made Captain Toad flustered. He could barely get a word out, like a babbling child. Okay, this was super cute. And for the next two hours, we decided to just play some other games around the arcade. He kicked my ass at billiards, I beat Minh in air hockey, Minh dominated us both in a motorbike video game, and none of us was good at basketball.

12 PM. Well, we had fun. Time to claim our prizes before we skipped outta here.

 “Those shoes look so nice,” Minh moaned, lugging the pile of tickets. “Can’t wait to add them to my wardrobe.”

When we returned to the counter, Illepac’s cigarette fell out his mouth. I scanned everything past his head to see what I wanted. Before that, I saw the security camera that Captain Toad desired. I couldn’t understand a lick of that tech jargon, but it seemed high-tech. And those shoes that Minh wanted? Ooh, they were pretty. A lovely black with a velvet insole. Once her feet made their home in those, both our lives would improve.

Below those, there were various candies. While I could make off with those and be happy, there was another girl I could share them with. Penelope. Her Highness’ daughter had a sweet tooth, and her face would fall off her head if she saw all these delicacies.

“Arcade man,” Captain Toad said, approaching the cashier, “we’re ready to spend. Give us a camera, those ballet flats, the bootleg candies, and we’ll continue from there.”

“You can’t do that, sir.”

“Perfect. My men are gonna pimp this camera out, and it’s gonna be a great… Huh?”

“Yeah, what?” I stepped up. “We have the tickets.”

“You’re telling me you won ALL those tickets,” the cashier said in his nasal voice, pointing to a visibly confused Minh, “without jacking our machines?”

“Yes,” we said in unison.

He cackled. “Even if I believed that, you can’t get anything higher than 500 tickets. You think we’re really selling goods of this high quality just ’cause someone beat some arcade games?”

“B-B-But…” Minh’s lips quivered, and I could hear her trying to hide the lump in her throat. “We got over 500. You always told me I could make it to 1000 if I tried, and look!”

Illepacs sighed, turning to face the prizes. “I say that to every kid who walks in here. You’re good company, Minh T., but I can’t be making exceptions for you. Nobody’s meant to make over 500. It’s just not expected. We put these on for display, girl. You’re 19, and you never thought that?”

“Please?”

We saw the waterworks starting to emerge from Minh, and Captain Toad’s smile approached neutral status. He pointed to his uniform.

“Arcade man. Listen to me. My girls and I are going into battle soon, so we need your priciest cameras. This is serious business.”

“You can’t handle my cameras. They’re too powerful for you, especially giving them away for 3000 tickets. You need to take your flat ass to an electronic shop and buy some weaker cameras there.”

I tugged Captain Toad’s shoulder. “Let’s go. Look, we had fun. I’ll buy Minh some—”

“Arcade man.” His voice got louder. “I am a soldier. Or a guard, however you wish to refer to my position. My fellow Toads and I have rightfully won the tickets, so we deserve the prizes you advertised. And we are going into battle! I assume you have the utmost respect for soldiers, so you should do the right thing.”

Scrunching his darkened eyes, Illepacs leaned in. “Why respect soldiers…when my prizes can do anything you can?”

“That's it!”

CLINK! Clink, clink, clink, clink…

“Mamma Mia! Shit!”

In just one swing, Captain Toad obliterated the glass countertop with a baton. A sharp piece skidded across my cheek in slow motion as I witnessed the Toad dive at the cashier. A loud THUD echoed throughout the room, and both fell while prizes collapsed on them.

Minh grabbed my arm. “This is what I what afraid of.”

“Ladies!” Captain Toad tossed us some small bags, returning to punch Illepacs in the face. “Grab as much as you can, then let’s bounce!”

Okay, so we were committing a full-on robbery. Goddamn it! He’d already vandalised the counter, so there was no turning back. I shoved my bags in Minh’s hands, repeating her objective. Although I kept one to cover my face somewhat. And I ran into the game room to ensure that if backup arrived, they’d be paralysed. What better way to do that than with some smelly…

Oh-no! I had the new slides on my feet. My feet didn’t stink!

Chapter Text

I’d gotten so used to stinking people out that I’d forgotten it only worked with my flats. And without anything else to drive people away, I’d have to resort to the last technique.

“Fire! Fire!”

Not something to joke about, but that word forced the rest of these innocent people to flee the building. While they escaped, I returned to the back area, finding Minh stuffing the arcade’s bags like she would her own. And Captain Toad went from dominating the cashier to having his neck underneath the human’s foot. Ugh! We Toads and our stupid body strength!

After receiving his fifth or sixth stomp, Captain Toad finally used his head. Literally.

“Gah!”

Butting the cashier’s leg, the Toad shakily got onto his feet. And he was quick to the draw, reclaiming his baton and aiming for Illepacs’ body.

“Too slow!”

Right before the baton connected, the human ducked under and rammed into Captain Toad head-first. The sharp sound of crackling glass was like nails on a chalkboard. When the screaming abruptly ended, Minh and I waited breathlessly. To our fear, Captain Toad’s body lay in a sea of glass, and no tears streamed from him. He was stiff and unmoving from head to toe.

“Don’t panic,” I said, preparing to calm Minh before the situation could worsen.

“I’m calling the cops, you maniacs,” the cashier yelled, reaching for a wired phone.

“No, you won’t!” I popped off my slide and slapped Illepacs. Yet even when this pasty human took the blow, the phone’s bright dial tone continued. Well, time for more property destruction. Without a second thought, I ripped the cords out the phone, then pulverised it with my remaining slide.

“Heh, a little fight in you.”

Why wasn’t he phased? Didn’t he get that my foot was shredding through his valuable hunk of plastic?

“They got the alarm,” he chuckled. “They’ll be here before you can even move.”

“Then I guess we oughta make out like bandits.” I revved for a roundhouse kick. “HAA!”

THUD!

Oh-no.

He caught my leg halfway through the kick and spun me into the wall. I immediately reached for his body—something to claw at—but in seconds, the jerk slammed me into the counter. Reminder that the counter had so much broken glass that it resembled an arctic cavern. Despite not being torn to shreds yet, Illepacs squeezed my neck like a toy. So even the act of screaming hurt badly.

“Think you mushrooms can destroy my arcade and get away with it?”

BAM!

The swift punch to my back forced a slow, agonising cough out of me. Followed by some whimpering as the damage fully manifested.

“Yeah, cry like a bitch,” he said, delivering blow after blow to my body.

BAM!!

“Quit it!” With all my strength, I elbowed his abdomen. Now that the bastard had lost his grip, I finished that roundhouse kick to blast him into the wall.

Across the counter, Minh was blue in the face. “Let’s just go, Toadette!”

I nodded, taking a step forward.

SMASH!

Ah… Whatever struck me in the head was raining in several pieces. Little white chunks followed by a splash of water. A snow globe? This wasn’t the time to observe pretty particles, but the hits on my cap and back knocked all the wind out of me. Above me came breathing so hot, I’d swear a dragon was about to torch me.

“Forget the other guys coming. I’ll just save them the hassle.”

Seeing the shadows on the ground, I shrieked. In his hand was a long blade, and he’d fully swung back. My arms wouldn’t budge to defend me, and so I clenched my teeth in anticipation. If I survived, I’d have to watch the Star Festival over TV in a hospital!

“Don’t do it! Please!” Minh screamed.

BANG!

Where was the pain? Where was the blood that should’ve spilt out my cap? After that ear-piercing noise, my back crumbled under an enormous weight. Was this some chance to escape? I scurried away, then looked down to see… The cashier grabbing his chest, coughing violently.

But right below him, a river of blood grew darker by the second. Nope, nope! If I didn’t look away, I was gonna get queasy!

“EW! EW!” I checked my feet to make sure they were still pristine… Oh, thank the stars.

Minh’s eyes shrunk until they were nothing but pinpoint specks. But right at my side, still holding an arm up at Illepacs, was Captain Toad. Wow. I’d never seen a compact firearm so up close in Toad Town. Yet right now, the blue weapon emitted yellow smoke, and the aftermath was dying on the floor.

“You killed him.” Minh’s voice choked.

“Star Gun, dumb-dumb.” Captain Toad waved his weapon in the air. Waved it a bit too carelessly since he lined the barrel up to my nose. “But going for his heart might’ve been smarter now that you mention it.”

Then I heard the scariest sound. The sound of car doors opening and slamming right outside the building.

“They’ll handle him,” I said. I wriggled my toes into my slides and picked up what bags remained. Anything left behind would just have to stay. “Where do we go?”

“Back entrance.” Captain Toad ushered us in, locking the door and barricading it with any tool. Chairs, desks, remaining stock.

Unfortunately, we weren’t in the clear—not by a long shot. This was just a backroom, and the true exit was through another door. Worst of all, the hotel sat on the other side of this dirty city. Please don’t tell me we’ll have to run the whole distance. Especially with all these bags! Heck, I’d abandon the bags at this point just for safety.

“Alright, Minh, put that brain to work.” Captain Toad hit her on the back. “You know any ways we can leave without them—”

“I never had to run for my life here! Why’d you break the counter in the first place? We could’ve gone home without being criminals!”

He folded his arms. “Excuse me? So, I should’ve just let him disrespect you and play us? Both of you just sat there. At least I did something.”

“And where did that something get us?” Her voice deepened. “Trouble follows you like a dog, idiot. This is exactly what I was talking about.”

“Say what you really mean.”

She stomped her foot. “You don’t know how to use your head!”

“I don’t see you dealing with serious decisions every week! You just play with girly flowers all day, gorging yourself like the fat pig you are!”

SMACK!

Captain Toad yelled out in frustration, grabbing his cheek. Minh’s panting got echoey as she let the heavy bag fall. And in seconds, the sliver of red came to light on the man’s face.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” he cried out.

“Call me that one more time, you small-dicked psycho. I am not a pig!”

“Your hips didn’t get the memo. Nor your diet. Go back to the Li’l Oink Farm. The piggies miss their queen.”

CLANK!!

“Shut the hell up, both of you!” I startled both these babies with a powerful kick to a rusty pipe. Guess I had to play the role of peacemaker today. And in limited time, as these knuckleheads forgot we had cops breathing down our necks. Both were steaming at this point, with Minh terrifying me the slightest bit more. For her, resorting to violence was not, and should never become, normalised.

“Whose side are you on?” Her anger reached an all-time high. “You think I’m some big pig?”

I peeked out the exit door for a brief scan of our surroundings. So far, nobody was back here yet. So now I directed my voice to the Toads.

“I think you’re both wasting time right now. So calm down before I leave both of you behind.”

Was I really going to abandon them? No. As Her Highness stated, all of us represent her when we get into trouble, so I would’ve been just as guilty.

“I’m sorry.”

To my shock, Captain Toad was the first to get that out. And even more surprisingly, I detected no spite in his voice. On the contrary, it was as if I scared him into becoming a little girl with how soft he sounded.

He looked at Minh for a few seconds, then gave her a hug. “I’m sorry.”

“I know. I know!” Minh pushed him off of her, picking up the bags. “I just wish you stopped dragging me into chaos every time we go out! I don’t like insulting you, either.”

I got why both were angry. Captain Toad was an asshole, no doubt about that. But in this situation, we were getting scammed by this arcade runner. If there was any time to use violence, now was appropriate since we were owed these. However, calling Minh’ fat’ was a thin-veiled way of telling her to kill herself. And since she wasn’t a fan of hurting people, of course she’d be stressed hanging around this guy. How many other violent situations did he put her through?

KNOCK! KNOCK!

“Open this door, or we’ll use police brutality!”

“Just go to the back! The back!” The voice then mumbled something in a language I didn’t comprehend.

I stepped up. “We’re near some docks, but I don’t see a boat. I think we’ll just have to beeline for the subway and hope they don’t get us.”

“Oh! Wait a minute!” Minh shuffled through a bag, pulling out a blue mushroom. A Mini Mushroom! “Let’s all shrink with this, and they won’t see us getting to the train.”

“Not happening,” I said. “We won’t get THAT small, and we’ll be running for about a half hour or longer. They’ll grab us.”

“Unless…”

Captain Toad broke down a new plan. Rather than all three of us shrinking, he and I could reduce our size to ride Minh. Even if she didn’t know this area’s layout perfectly, she’d still comprehend shortcuts better than we could. And furthermore, she was already accustomed to running in flip-flops, so she couldn’t trip like I would. The best part was knowing that this particular subway wouldn’t have another train coming for an hour. So as long as Minh made it on time, we’d be in the clear.

“What about cameras? Won’t they know it’s us?” I asked.

“I combed the building while you guys spoke with him. All these security cameras, and he’s not even using one.”

“We got 11 minutes.” Minh split the Mini Mushroom in half and forced the pieces into our mouths. “Don’t let go of the bags. They need to shrink, too.”

Chomp! Chomp!

Good news: unlike the Mega Mushroom, the Mini Mushroom’s body alteration isn’t as painful. It’s more like a poof than a bone-warping nightmare. And so, in ten seconds, the whole backroom turned into a city of steel skyscrapers. In front of us, one of the tallest objects of the bunch—with ten massive objects moving before our eyes. Huh. This was the second time this week I’d seen Minh larger than myself.

“What’s she waiting for?” Captain Toad asked.

Just as I wanted to tell him Minh would place us in her pockets, the girl turned around. And instead of grabbing us, she simply walked out of her flip-flops. Each step she made generated a tremor in each of us.

“All aboard!” she roared.

“We didn’t agree to go under your feet!” the frustrated captain screamed.

“Frankly, I didn’t ask. Come or stay.”

This may have been karma for Captain Toad, but I welcomed this experimental escape. I claimed her right foot, the one I’d licked spotless. One of the perks of this Mini Mushroom was that it didn’t shrink us to the size of ants or molecules. Instead, my body’s height matched that of Minh’s sole. So, as her colossal foot smothered me, my head received occasional light between her toes. It was like taking a car trip and seeing the light return and disappear when passing several trees.

Minh’s left foot absorbed Captain Toad’s whines. Knowing all the dust that covered it, it probably stuffed his lungs. Hehe. Hopefully, this girl could run comfortably with two Toads and a couple of bags pressed under her soles.

“Let’s go,” she said.

WHOOSH!

Whoa. Immediately, the escape plan took a horrific turn. Imagine, if you will, being at an amusement park. You go to one of those simulation rides for the thrills of being whisked around. However, instead of being upright, you’re taped to a bed. It’s the perfect way to describe being stuck under Minh’s feet as she walked.

Since the sky was still cloudy, greyer than a few hours ago, I kept my eyes open. After all, I didn’t have to be a foot vacuum cleaner, unlike a stubborn somebody.

And… Minh sure looked hot from this angle.

Whether it stemmed from her ultra-trashy outfit or the sheer size of those chubby cheeks, that tingling sensation in my groin returned. Although, it could’ve stemmed from the intense pressure her heel applies to my lower half. Emphasis on the word “intense”. Don’t think Minh would go gentle just because two living creatures clung to her flip-flops. Today, her mission was to run like she was on fire, and she did so at surreal speeds.

From a normal-sized perspective, I’d wager she wasn’t moving too quickly. But from a tiny perspective, this Toad converted into a sports vehicle. And we went along for the ride.

“Ey, there she is! Get her!”

BANG! BANG!

“They’re shooting at me!” she screamed.

After that cry, the foot pressure amplified. Damn it, Minh. Why did the ball of your foot have to be so well-positioned on my chest? Every time she stomped me into the ground, her foot jiggled my breasts. Did I moan? Maybe. Okay, throughout most of this sprint, I couldn’t resist expressing audible pleasure. If I was gonna go to jail, I could at least have a good time beforehand.

Case in point, I stuck my tongue out, licking the wall that was Minh’s toe. The flavour may have been basic, but there was that addicting factor. And better yet, unlike at normal size, I could feel her essentially scraping her toe against my tongue. As a result, I didn’t have to do all the manual work. She could work her magic on my face.

“She’s headed for the subway!” a gruff voice shouted. “No!” 

All of a sudden, the lighting switched. It went from greyish to orange, and I soon recognised the concrete ceiling pattern. The subway! Its dirty hue reflected on Minh’s skin.

The pounding on the ground destroyed my sense of hearing. It was so loud, and Minh stomped so fast that the universe warped into a disgusting blur. So I shut my eyes, retreating into the warm musk of her toes for comfort.

Sniff! Sniff!

It smelt like her regular feet. Her feet didn’t usually smell rotten, and I’d destroyed any odour earlier when I slobbered on her feet. But having the perimeter full of Minh’s aroma was both dreamlike and homely. If I had to live with her in her shop, this was the scent I’d wish to associate with her bedroom. With my eyes shut, I envisioned coming home to her, having her cook me something delicious, then planting her feet on my chest after bouncing out the shower. Mmm…

Toadette, you are a disgrace. Just a few weeks ago, you complained about smelling feet that weren’t drenched in lotion. Now, you want that pure naturalness with only a hint of beauty products. Well, what can I say? A foot fetish is a hell of a drug—even a super low-level one like my own.

Huh. The loudness persisted, but the deep pressure vanished. I opened my eyes, and Minh’s knees weren’t moving at all. Was it all over?

“Minh?” I forgot she couldn’t hear me at this size. Yet it was as if she did since she started to wiggle her toes all over me. OOH! The little noises made my heart skip a beat. And I didn’t mind making out with her toe in the meanwhile. Her middle one was about the size of my head if you include the cap.

Very quickly, I shot up nearly 100 metres into the air, finally landing in a seat next to Minh. Just a few seconds late was Captain Toad, ending his voyage on her left flip-flop.

“You alive?” I asked, seeing him lie on his back.

“I declare war on filthy feet.” He dusted himself off, coughing. Hehehe! He looked like he had taken a bath in a coal mine! “But I’m alive.”

“Should’ve cleaned that foot better,” I said, making an “L” with my fingers.

Alright, time to get back to regular size. While I wouldn’t have minded camping on Minh’s flip-flop for about an hour, if someone else crushed us, there’d be problems. Bad news: Mini Mushrooms are not on a timer like the Mega Mushrooms. In order to reverse the effect, one has to eat the Mega Mushroom. I never understood why the Mini Mushroom lacked a time limit, but that’s just how these things work.

And since a Mega Mushroom was in the bag, I ripped it into pieces.

“Make sure you hold the bags,” I reminded Captain Toad. We both looked at the Mega Mushroom bits in disgust.

Chomp! Chomp!

Take a deep breath, Toadette. The pain won’t last— GAAAAAH! After the bubbling in my stomach, my bones cracked and snapped until I was regular size. My feet were the last to return to normal, and as soon as they did, I hunched over, sniffling. To my left, Captain Toad didn’t seem to be in intense pain. Aw, not fair! Probably his stupid training numbed him to its effects.

Several eyes were on us, but given the city we were in, people didn’t pay mind for more than a few seconds.

As we were all mentally exhausted, I saved my talking energy for when we made it to the Mushroom Kingdom Hotel. The trip back took longer due to some issues within the subway—notably, a Lakitu trying to fish on the train tracks. Just roll with it. That’s the only way to survive in this place. So, we spent three silent hours on this hot train.

“Knew this vacation couldn’t be so simple,” I said, slamming my bags in the corner of the room.

“I shouldn’t have taken us there.”

“That jerk’s in the wrong, not us. What are you blaming yourself for?”

She sat against the wall. “I could’ve come up with something else. Looks like I’m banned from that part of the city, too.”

“Probably for the better.”

Our heads cocked towards the door. How did he get in? He didn’t even have a key. Captain Toad shut the door, then waltzed to the fridge.

“From what I gather, they weren’t even Mushroom City cops. Firstly, while undercover cops exist, it’s unwise for a squad of cops to wear civilian clothing. Secondly, they didn’t appear to have handcuffs or any actual police cars on the scene. And lastly, Minh, spell his last name again.”

“I-L-L-E-P-A-C-S.”

“Perfect. Now backwards.”

Well, that just spells Scapelli. What did that matter? It was one of those human last names. For some reason, Minh didn’t share my mellow reaction. She hid her face in her hands, then a loud yet muffled growl came out.

“Yep, I’m guessing that arcade’s a Scapelli business.” Captain Toad sipped a cup of water. “Probably thought spelling the name backwards wouldn’t draw attention to the lesser-minded.”

“Now I feel dumber, yay.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Who what now?”

“Scapelli. A crime family mainly known for plumbing. Far from the most powerful gang, but they’re rising. I know half their funding comes from the big man, Wario.”

“That waddling orc is still rich?” I chuckled. “Didn’t know you could fund gangs by ripping kids off with crappy video games.”

“You’d be surprised. Anyways, best to stay away from that area from now on. Not like we’d have to go there again considering…” And he pointed to the various bags.

Minh may not have been in the best headspace, but at least we could keep all these stolen prizes. It wasn’t the first time I broke the law in such a manner, but it was definitely the biggest score I’d pulled. And Minh earned a new pair of shoes! Finally, her feet would have proper protection from the outside world.

“Thank you. But…” She looked back and forth between us. “If I remember right, you two were supposed to do something special for me.”

“Come on.” “I should’ve knocked you in the head.”

As much as I didn’t want a guy’s foot in my mouth, I cared for Minh enough that I didn’t want to disappoint her. Especially after all she’d been through today, she deserved to see something she genuinely wanted. Admittedly, I wondered why she didn’t have us both lick her feet. But perhaps she guessed she’d get some action in the arcade. Or, just as likely, she saw this as a bonding activity between me and Captain Toad. Or heck, maybe the girl just wanted something to get off to.

“Can we shower first?” I asked.

“Please. If her feet are anything like yours, I want them bleached,” Captain Toad added. “And I still smell like your feet!”

Minh put her hands on her hips. “If you won’t do it right now, then I’ll let you two wash yourselves. BUT as an additional rule, you must bathe together.”

“Why are you doing this to me?” I asked.

The answer was obvious. Anyone could see that she was interested in seeing me fully naked. Likely, she’d already seen this Captain Toad’s junk. Unfortunately, Minh trapped me between a rock and a hard place. It was either stripping naked before a guy or getting sick from his disgusting feet.

Splash!

“Are you getting in, too?” the male asked.

“I dunno. I wouldn’t wanna kill Toadette with both vagina AND penis.”

“Thanks for being considerate,” I said, making them laugh. Standing in the bathroom’s corner, I pulled my jeans down. After kicking them away, I threw my shirt to the ground, finally ending with the underclothing. Only now did I realise they had a perfect shot of my… My ass. And knowing that, I covered my pussy and spun around.

Big mistake.

Captain Toad was already sitting in the tub, so all I saw were his chest and above. But Minh took this a step beyond. She plopped right on the tub’s edge, exposing every inch of her body. Do you think she kept her legs closed? Use your head. Her legs were spread, giving me an uninterrupted view of her hairless slit.

What could I even say? She was putting on a promiscuous display for me—a show nobody asked for. Especially with how she thrust her hips.

“We’re ready, Toadette.” And she said that like a little girl, her signature sexy voice.

Since telling them to close their eyes wouldn’t change squat, I trotted to the bathtub and took the plunge. Only after submerging did Minh enter the warm, bubbling water.

Opposite to me, Captain Toad’s vision was glued to my chest. “Your tits are so—”

“I know they’re not big, thank you.”

“I was gonna say they’re cute, but sure, they’re tiny.”

Minh grabbed her own boobs and squished them together. “Boobies turn him on a lot, Toadette.”

I needed to speed up the cleaning process before things could reach maximum uncomfortability levels. I beat them to the soap bar, beginning to lather my body from top to bottom. Even with my lower half underwater, that feeling of apprehension never disappeared. Why were both of these Toads staring at me? Couldn’t they focus on their own genitals? Leave me alone.

But the more I scrubbed, the more pinkish bubbles rose to the surface. Therefore, the soapier I got, the more obscured my private parts became. I stopped rubbing the soap on my feet as soon as my soles got too slippery. Heck, getting the soap back above the water became a one-minute challenge that had these two chuckling again.

They acted like the incident in the arcade never happened, automatically turning back into friends.

“Here!” I flung the bar at Captain Toad’s cap. “Make sure you actually clean them.”

“Why do I get the feeling yours would smell worse than mine on any given day?”

“Ego. I know how my feet smell, and they’re not as disgusting as…yours.”

He was visibly thrown off by my slow response, yet that didn’t impede his soaping. In the water, someone’s foot was pressing against my own. And when I turned my head to Minh, she looked straight into my eyes. At first, her face was neutral, like a girl staring at her crush in the classroom. However, when her toes ran along the side of my foot, a subtle smirk popped onto her face.

This girl’s mind games caused me headaches. Did she know I liked her feet? Or was she touching mine just to turn herself on? It wasn’t like it mattered much. No matter the explanation, I sighed at the smooth contact happening out of sight.

Captain Toad placed the soap on the tub’s edge. “Done.”

“Very good,” Minh said, lifting both our legs out the water. “Now get closer, both of you.”

“I don’t think we can get much closer,” I said, sensing my other leg pushing into his stomach. Probably a few inches away from his dick.

I grabbed his foot, eyes closed. “We just have to suck each other’s toes, right? That’s all.”

“Correct.”

Calm down, Toadette. They were just feet. Guy feet. Super gross, but you could do this one thing. At least they wouldn’t taste like anything. It’d be over in a few seconds.

It was like swallowing a giant pill. While frightening, you have to get it down your throat one way or another. I wouldn’t chicken out like a wuss. So, I opened my mouth as widely as possible, allowing Captain Toad’s foot to enter. Well, it TRIED to enter. My mouth welcomed the frist three toes without problem, but those other two required intense crunching to fit inside. In the background, Minh cheered me on, pushing my head and the foot closer.

“Do it, Toadette,” she giggled. “You too, Captain Toad.”

At that moment, my toes disappeared into Captain Toad’s moist mouth. Only the tips of them, as the A/C continued to blow on the bottom halves of my digits. Of course, Minh repeated the same operation with the guy. With words of encouragement, she forced my long toes down his throat, resulting in a gagging noise. With that noise came a heap of saliva oozing onto my toes. Yeah, clearly the captain had no desire to lick my feet, as his tongue refused to budge. It was just a bed for my toes.

However, my instincts commanded me to lick his toes. How could you suck toes without moving your tongue? And compared to mine, his toes were average-sized. A tad meaty like Minh’s, but his feet were rather vanilla. Not too big, not too chubby, but just right.

Hmm… Though I tasted some of the hair on the tops of his toes, nothing else was getting me closer to puking. What was going on?

“Okay, you can stop—”

SLURP!

Stopping? Why would I stop? Was Minh crazy? Rather than letting Captain Toad’s foot sink like a rock, I only switched the way I sucked on it. The toes finally got another breath of fresh air. But his foot received another tight suction slightly below the crinkly digits. Right on the ball of his foot, I rubbed my tongue in a circular motion. The flavour, for better or worse, was wholly neutralised. Nothing lingered but the taste of wet skin.

Maybe taking a bath wasn’t the smartest option. Then again, the poisonous odour from his feet would’ve deterred me from licking them in the first place.

“I think we’re done,” he said, attempting to regain control of his foot.

“Just wait!”

Opening my eyes, he and Minh watched in disbelief as I kept licking this guy’s foot. If I was watching myself, I’d probably have been weirded out with them. But despite being a male, Captain Toad’s foot was kind of…cute? The bottom of it. Seeing how his toes bunched together when his muscles tightened made me giddy on the inside. And as a result, I had to give them another sucking.

“Yeah, you cannot convince me you don’t have a foot fetish,” he said.

“What? I don’t have one!”

“Jeez, Minh, I’m talking about the girl who won’t let my foot out her mouth.”

“Well…”

Please don’t agree with him. Please don’t agree with him. Woman, do not agree with him.

Minh got closer to me. “She was hired as Her Highness’ royal footslave, so I think she’s just used to giving feet a deluxe mouth treatment.”

Phew, there were still some dark spots in her brain. I released his toes out my mouth to cut the conversation about feet short. I’d be a fool to let these two theorise about my foot licking as of recently.

“What she said. You should be grateful ’cause I could’ve ended at just sucking your toes.”

“It felt really slimy and weird, so I might’ve preferred that.”

I smirked, letting his foot submerge again. “We’ll see.”

Drying off led to some more awkward small talk about the event. Captain Toad mentioned that he’d never had so much foot action in his life before these past 24 hours. I joked that he needed to expect it when hanging around us, and like all good jokes, it was rooted in deep truth. I kept listening to Minh, waiting for her to reveal the suspicion that I loved feet. To my satisfaction, I left the bathroom without hearing a peep of that.

“Guess we’re seeing you tomorrow?” I asked Captain Toad, who was leaving with a towel wrapped around him.

“I say we just let any heat die down for the moment. Stay out of trouble.”

“I don’t think WE need that advice, but sure thing.”

Minh rushed to him as he put his hand on the doorknob. What looked like a tackle turned into a hug. And then a kiss! Okay, awkward. Not a kiss on the cheek or something more platonic. No, she gave him a large peck on his lips. Don’t worry, there wasn’t any spit-swapping going on. It lasted a second, then Captain Toad headed out the door. Once locked, Minh sprung into bed with me.

Of course, she adopted her traditional position—the one I’d grown in love with. Having her feet on my pillows was like cuddling with stuffed animals. But this time, her feet had a river of wrinkles from the sizzling bath water. I couldn’t complain since their scent didn’t irritate my nose. Mmm… Lavender soap.

“Why does crazy stuff only happen when I’m with you?” Minh asked.

“Nobody said you had to be my friend. You made a deal with the devil.”

“And proud of it,” she chuckled. “Better a wild life than a strictly boring one.”

I inched closer to her dry feet. “That Captain Toad, how did you just forgive him so fast? I swear, the ability to stay mad at people is not something you were programmed with.”

“Look, he can be a pain in the butt. A real one. He’s almost gotten me killed more times than I need to count. But—”

“If you say you think you can change him…”

“Well, there’s that. And when he’s not being rude, I have fun around him. Then there’s his cute looks, almost like an androgynous style. Plus, I’m not gonna refuse unlimited sex, Toadette.”

But being rude seemed like an innate part of his personality. To put up with that meant that Minh was flooding with mental endurance. Speaking of sex, though, she reminded me of that embarrassing fact. How was I 19 and still a virgin when she was the same age and could’ve had hundreds of partners? Not my world’s highest priority, but developing this foot fetish almost awakened my sexual urges again. Almost? No, I masturbated in a damn movie theatre. A moron could tell you I wanted some form of intimate contact.

Minh would deliver fine results with her feet, but at the core, I wanted male reciprocation. Maybe that’d be years from now, and I’d accept that. However, what I learnt today was to never question anything in Mushroom City. Anything and everything will happen.

Chapter Text

My Sunday plans primarily revolved around the hotel. After yesterday’s mess, I happily welcomed a day of tranquillity. And, to reflect this, I didn’t bother to change out of my pyjamas this morning. Well, I threw on some short shorts since nobody needed to check out my ass down the halls.

The first half of the day was spent with Minh. Watching TV was simple and, quite frankly, something we could do within our own homes. But just because we were technically on vacation didn’t mean we needed to spend each day doing something new. Nope, just most our days. Besides, it was calming to sit at her side and see how badly contestants performed on this Chuck Quizmo show.

Though, if I was on that, I’d probably have screwed up my answers as well. The audio kept fading since a certain Toad chewed marshmallows with the volume of a steam engine.

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

As if that wasn’t enough, when I looked at her, I was subject to seeing where she placed extra marshmallows. With the girl wearing flip-flops indoors, take a guess where the food ended up. She must’ve been screwing with me! Why else would she so deliberately scrunch her toes to squish that marshmallow? With the way light flooded the room, her glistening toenails were playing with my heart. This was all too convenient. 

Since she was the one to bring food up here, her feet were covered in a faint dampness. Yet instead of my tongue being in a position to lick that goodness, she was giving all the love to marshmallows—nonliving beings that couldn’t care less how she treated them.

“I’m jealous,” I mumbled.

“Of what?”

Come on, did she really hear that? “Nothing. Don’t worry.”

She plucked the marshmallow from under her toes. Then, as if she’d interpreted my expression of envy correctly, her hand flew in my direction! And it swiftly went up, launching the white treat down her mouth. GAH!

Her face was annoyingly cheerful. “You keep sitting there, and there aren’t gonna be any esponijtas left, got it?”

Oh, I get it, alright.

Immediately after making that statement, Minh grabbed two more marshmallows and stuffed them between her feet and flip-flops. If it ended there, this wouldn’t have been noteworthy. But the girl made a vital mistake or a conscious decision. Her feet slid in my direction and were now very close to tickling my outstretched legs. She crossed them at the ankles, fanning out her toes to let the soft snacks gasp for air.

Was this an invitation? Duh. Minh was not the type to just tease me like this without wanting some action. Now that she had two squishy marshmallows begging to be eaten, I had a perfect excuse to dive into these beauties.

SLURP!

I scooped one marshmallow into my mouth using nothing but teeth. Oh, and a bit of tongue to skate across her toes in the process. While munching, I waited for her big “gotcha” moment. The moment when she would come out and say, “I was suspecting you liked feet all along, Toadette.”

“What are you doing!?” She retracted her legs so quickly. “That was mine.”

“Was it?” I almost spat the marshmallow out before it hit me how gross that’d be. “My bad. It looked like you were just teasing me.”

“Teasing?”

“When you put your feet that close to me, I don’t know what’s going on in your head anymore.”

Minh took the remaining marshmallow, swallowing its now-richer flavour. “Ah. No, I just like feeling them under my feet. You’re fine, though. We still got a whole bowl left.”

“Hehe.” Yeah, bone-headed move, Toadette. But could you blame me when Minh always seemed to want to seduce me with her feet? Fortunately, her focus was more on the TV than on me, so she clearly didn’t care to gain secrets from me. For now. At least I got a nice view of her spread toes before she tucked her feet closer.

Hmm… Her toes gave this marshmallow a bit of a sweeter flavour. Not sure if better or worse, as my teeth tingled from it.

Although I spent the first half of the day with Minh, then delivered all those candies to Penelope briefly, I isolated myself for the evening. Mainly, I walked around the hotel’s back area, getting a mild exercise while taking in the scenery. In contrast to the urban wilderness surrounding the premises, this area contained heaps of natural grass and a large swimming pool—a sight that reminded me more of Toad Town. While I didn’t dip my toes into the water, I stood along the metal railing for an uncountable amount of time. Staring at the grassy plains while the sunset breeze brushed my face soothed my being. They tell you that meditation is important, but there are ways to calm one’s nerves without adopting comedic poses.

“Haven’t seen you all day,” a familiar voice said. “What’s up with that?”

“We followed your advice and kept to ourselves. You’re welcome.”

“How’s Minh?”

I shrugged. “Okay. Not the type to hold a grudge against somebody for long, you know. You two weren’t even angry the whole rest of the day.”

“Every time this happens, I feel dirty the next day. One more reason not to get married, huh?”

“Could just be a decent person. Or wait, is that too backbreaking?”

There came a sigh. “I’m decent. The jokey part of me just can’t be removed.”

“I wasn’t aware that jokey equalled dickish.” I turned to face Captain Toad. Surprisingly, he was actually dressed in a captain-esque attire today. Looking like he was prepared to head into the savannah with his beige clothes and headlamp. “What? You have any extra comments for my body or something?”

“No.” He put his fingers together, looking at his feet. “But I wouldn’t mind getting another sight of your two milk babies.”

Ha! As if I’d give him a chance. He may have helped us yesterday, but nobody in the world deserved to see my breasts.

I hopped on the rail. “Since I’ve got you talking, you mind telling me something?”

“Something.”

“Haha, smartass. How come you’re so afraid to lick someone’s foot?”

“Stopping you right there, woman. I’d rather not—”

“Just answer my question!” I stepped closer. “You can’t do that?”

“You’re asking me to relive trauma.” He folded his arms. Boy, this character sure flip-flopped between attitudes often. One moment, he’d act like authority. The next, he’d act like an immature high school dweeb. Since my whines failed to get through to him, I got even closer. So close that my lips were pressed into the side of his face.

“Even if I let you see my friends?”

Jiggle, jiggle!

“Six years ago,” he said, magically coming to life as we sat on the railing, “I was on a training mission on Lavalava Island. They sent me to the jungle to rescue five Yoshi kids and bring them back in one piece. I got the first four in record time. Red, green, purple, blue. But that little yellow bastard was a thorn in my side.

“I looked everywhere! Around some falls, under my balls, but he didn’t wanna be found. So, I figured he had to be in that raven’s tree. After slicing ‘n’ dicing a trillion vines to locate the tree’s access point so I could scale its insides,WHAM! I fall forward, with my machete tearing right through my dic—”

I put a hand over his mouth. “Is that why she said your dick’s small?”

SLAP!

Ouch. Getting slapped by someone my own size brought me back to school days. But excuse me… Fucking hell! He couldn’t have been gentle?

“It tore through my dictionary. The pocket-sized one I needed during training. Pervert.”

“You’re one to talk!”

“Anyways, after surviving that dramatic fall, I scampered to my feet, wondering what I had tripped over. It was too soft to be tree bark. At first, I guessed it was the captain pulling a fast one on me. But, heh, the captain wouldn’t have been caught dead with pink spots and fluffy hair.”

I stopped him again. “Minh, wasn’t it? Was this during summer?”

“Yeah, she told me later on that she was on some research trip about plants and whatnot. When I first saw her, she wasn’t as cute as she is now. She looked like someone injected her with bubble berry juice. I mean, skin so purple, she could’ve passed for a corpse. Luckily, Captain Toad found her pulse and decided to help her out.

“Problem: I had no radio since this was a hard-mode mission. Bigger problem: when I took off her shirt, Minh was covered in dozens of bite marks. The sharp marks of an M. Bush.”

“The poison plants?” I asked, my eyes focused on how his legs dangled as he told the tale.

“Killer poison plants considering they can affect us Toads badly. Biggest problem: no poison equipment since the mission didn’t call for this. At this point, I’m panicking. I couldn’t just let the girl die on my watch, and if I left her behind…

“Well, I knew these plants’ venom always pooled at the feet after spreading through the body. So, it was possible to suck the poison out through her feet. Gross, but any true soldier protects anyone he encounters. So, I flipped Minh on her back, then did away with her flip-flops.”

My jaw dropped. She was wearing flip-flops in a jungle? Uh-oh.

“Her feet were not only blacker than an oil spill, but they smelt vile, too. Like the worst of cut lawns mixed with a dash of athlete’s foot. They didn’t threaten me, though. I’d gone through a dungeon literally made of faeces the last month, so I was equipped to handle anything.

“So I thought.

“Being the brave, charming Toad I was, I put her right foot in my mouth—all five toes—and sucked them.

“For that initial second, everything was A-okay. And my tongue started to tickle. After that, it got slimier than usual, had a bit of crunch, and why was it moving so much? Yet I’m still sucking her toes to draw this venom out her body. Did I mention her toes were quite fa…big? Really meaty toes this girl had.

“As soon as my mouth was full, I spat out. But instead of seeing colourless poison, tell me why a pile of bugs was in my spit puddle. Even looking back at her feet, tiny insects were trapped between her toes, clumped there in chunks. Some dead, a few squirming around! Alive! All because this dumb bitch decided to wear flip-flops like she was at Isle Delfino! They were sticking to her toes since she had that gunk built up between ‘em! Why the hell I didn’t stop? I dunno, stupidity! I just wanted to save her life, but Toadette, I was risking my own damn life in the process!

“Ten minutes. Ten minutes of sucking poison and spitting out bugs before I could guarantee she’d be okay. And even after saving her, I was coughing up little beetles the following—”

“Stop! Stop!”

Was this a horror movie? Now that I knew this, I felt the need to check between everyone’s dirty toes. Because if a sea of bugs ended up in my mouth, I’d bite into a Poison Mushroom to end my game on the spot.

“Stop. Why are you blushing?” Captain Toad asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Am I blushing?” I felt for my cheeks like an idiot. “Um… I really don’t know.”

It definitely wasn’t because I was envisioning myself in Captain Toad’s position. Only instead of sucking out insects from Minh’s feet, the most I’d deal with was a heap of sweat. It also wasn’t because I thought of how reddened and sore Captain Toad’s feet would’ve been. No! He was a guy. Even if his feet were a little pretty, I was still better than this.

“I wonder how you even ended up as her friend after that nightmare,” I said.

“Life works in mysterious ways.” He poked my bare foot with his shoe. “Look, your feet are probably okay, but I’m cool with not having them in my mouth.”

“What if I wanted yours—” Speak carefully, Toadette. “What if I wanted you to smell mine? Hypothetically speaking.”

“Your creepy foot fetish is showing big-time, rookie. But sure. The new and improved Captain Toad can handle any smell, and if they smelt like roses, mwah!”

“I have no fetishes, but I will keep that in mind.” Just as I dropped from the fence, he grabbed my arm.

“Show. Those. Tits.”

Ugh, he really couldn’t have forgotten that!? As long as we kept this under a few seconds, baring my boobs to the world wouldn’t hurt. First, I made sure the coast was clear. So far, so good. Up came my shirt. No bra shielded my breasts today, thanks to my unwillingness to change outfits. Congratulations, Captain Toad. You got to take the shortcut to seeing my nervous nips.

I could see sparkles in his eyes. The way he rushed closer to my chest was like a child sprinting to a Christmas tree.

“Now, these’ll keep me from doing my job. Can I suck on ‘em?”

“No!”

“I’m thirsty,” he sang, brushing against my body.

“You can’t see the giant red light I gave you?”

“Red means ‘go’ in my world.” Captain Toad grabbed my sides, and before I could push him off, he’d already wrapped his lips around my nipple!

No point in resisting now. As soon as he began to suck me, my body activated its natural breastfeeding senses. Because this triggers some parental element in our brains, being aggressive with the Toad was impossible. Getting your milk drained is like getting sedated. He swirled his tongue around my boob for an uninterrupted minute before finally backing off.

“Mmm, mmm! Creamy strawberries! I knew you still had surprises for me, Toadette.”

He left my face flushed and my body wobbly. As soon as my shirt fell over my boobs, I gritted my teeth. “I swear, next time I see you, I’m gonna drain so much of your milk that you’ll feel like a cow!”

If nobody was looking at us before, my screeching got us some attention now. Captain Toad’s face joined mine in the Who Can Look Redder contest.

“Marry me.”

“Good night!” I didn’t look back. He couldn’t have even offered me a toe sniff for letting him violate me. At the very least, my dizziness would pass over within a half hour. I spent the remainder of my evening inside the building, finally climbing into bed around midnight. Sleepy Minh never noticed that I’d returned to the room so late, nor did she feel the wet present on her soles that night.

— MONDAY: 8 days before the festival —

“Wake up, everyone!”

Impressive how Penelope’s voice travelled through the expensive hallway walls. Couldn’t someone give the girl a glass of lemonade to dry out her vocal cords? I heard her the first 50 times she told us to wake up. I didn’t need a 51st reminder.

Not knowing whether to wear something formal, I went for a smooth balance in clothing. Instead of jeans, black tights choked my butt. Above that, a white, very wrinkly shirt covered my top. Remember, can’t look too good in this city. As for Minh, she simply took too long to get dressed. By the time I had my sneakers on, she’d just begun to brush her teeth.

“You’re in no hurry, huh?”

“It’s seven in the morning,” she moaned, spitting into the sink. “I’m usually asleep at this time.”

“You adjust eventually. See you downstairs.”

After massing in the local elevator, then switching to the express ones, I rode to the ground lobby. Past the attentive bellboys and rich-looking guests, Her Highness waited in an alcove. And since I was on time, I couldn’t hide behind the other Toads. Not like it would’ve changed a thing. I knew she was going to give me a specific task to do. After all, I was her errand girl. So what humiliating task would it be today? Scraping her feet? Polishing her shoes?

She was in the middle of speaking when I arrived. “There may be risks going with fireworks this large, but I’ve been promised that such risk is minimal. Our dear scientists appear to agree. So, Toadette—”

“I’ve gotta go and fetch ‘em, right? Here we go again.”

“Did you cut me off?”

And the sleepiness in my body immediately withered away. “No! Yes? Sorry, Your Highness.”

“Don’t get too comfortable.” A smile returned to her face. “Make yourself useful. Penelope will accompany you.”

“Missed me?”

People were far too happy to sneak up on me. If one of them caught me at the wrong moment, they were gonna end up with a row of missing teeth. At least Penelope looked decently dressed today. The most important part was that there were shoes on her feet. No more barefooting like she was homeless, a major step up from our last forest adventure.

“We’re just waiting on Minh, Your Highness.” I spun around.

“No, this is just you and Penelope.”

“Huh? Why?”

She rolled her eyes. “Cutting me off, asking too many unnecessary questions, jeez. Someone needs another discipline lesson.”

Penelope pushed me away from the others before something slick could come out my mouth. Probably for the better. Hmph! More discipline, my ass. Aside from handling Her Highness’ nightmarish feet, I’d done everything she wanted with near perfection these past weeks. I had more discipline in my pinkie toe than most these Toads had in their entire bodies.

Today’s weather was nice—a cloudless, clear blue sky. However, if I’d known it’d be like this, I would’ve left these black tights behind. Let’s just say that within three minutes, my legs turned into two sizzling pieces of chicken. Penelope got lucky with her shorts.

But after passing a bunch of people on the sidewalk, I remembered that I was this girl’s second mother. If anyone was going to grab her off the streets, they’d have to rip her from my sweaty, trembling hand.

“Does anyone question why you share the same hair as your mom?” I asked. “Or why your name also begins with a ‘P’? Or why your skin, eyes, and pretty much everything match?”

She was visibly baffled. “What are you getting at?”

“Nobody out here suspects you’re her daughter? I’m trying to make sure you won’t be a solid kidnapping target, okay?”

“They usually tell me I’m pretty. If they ever ask, and they do, I’ll tell them I’m a big fan of impersonating Princess Peach.”

“Good, you’ve got an excuse.” I meant that sincerely. It was good that she got to live a remotely normal life without the press shoved in her face 24/7. Some famous kids wished to have that sense of privacy. “Now, did she tell you where we’re going?”

Penelope stopped and yanked a golden note out her pocket. Was I mean for laughing at how she squinted, trying to read what it said? It was probably Her Highness’ insane cursive that messed with the kid, but she looked like she was in a deep geometry equation.

“We need fireworks larger than ever for this year’s Star Festival. Alas, we cannot make regular shipments for these. You must meet with a merchant down the alley near Wiggler Avenue. If he charges anything, you need to pay for it. Do not fail me, Toadette.”

“Forgive my language,” I warned Penelope, “but this bitch is shady.”

“OOOOOOOOOH! She’d wash your mouth out if you said that in front of her.”

“Heh. What? Wash my mouth out with her foot?” I grabbed the girl’s hand, continuing onward. “I don’t even know where this place is. We’ll have to find a map or—”

A sharp whistling sound came from my side.

“Taxi!”

In the ocean of traffic, I paid no mind to the taxis which blended in with every other pollution contributor. But, sure enough, one pulled up next to us with zero passengers. Penelope flashed me a grin, then entered the vehicle.

As soon as I went inside, a hot mist of air fresheners hit me at the same time. At least the car didn’t smell like something awful, but come on. How many air fresheners did one guy need before he was satisfied? Plus, his music selection could’ve been better. I didn’t need my morning kicked off with a loud reggae beat.

“Where you headed?”

“Wiggler Avenue,” I coughed.

VROOOOM!

Without a second to spare, the car peeled off! I clenched onto the door handle, now in fear for my safety. It wasn’t as if the streets were only a little crowded. Cars were practically scraping against each other, and our driver cut through several of them, including trucks already in motion. If something awful happened, this would all be on me for following Penelope’s advice.

While speeding through Mushroom City, Penelope decided now was a good time to remove her flip-flops. And in doing so, she crossed a leg over the other, causing her sole to face my direction.

…The sweat on my forehead couldn’t get any denser.

I’d thought nothing of Penelope’s feet in the past, other than that they were well-maintained. That held true today, especially since her toenails sported a creamy white finish. However, Penelope’s feet weren’t just well-maintained. As disturbing as it sounded, they were cute. Not puppy cute, but the cute that makes your legs turn to jelly. No matter how wrong I knew this was, no matter how much I wanted to quit looking at her sole, I couldn’t. Damn it, Penelope! Put your shoes back on!

“This is not your car. Shoes on,” I said.

“I’m good. Thank you.”

That backfired. But she didn’t mention me staring at her beautiful foot once, so perhaps she didn’t notice. Likely because her focus was entirely on the blurring city around us.

Our relationship was a strange one. Technically, Penelope was my boss. As the daughter of Her Highness, I essentially worked for the girl whenever she wanted. Yet simultaneously, the difference between our ages was large. And seeing as I had to take care of her, I was still her superior. This power dynamic constantly fluctuated, as some days she’d listen to me, but she never officially needed to.

By the end of the 11-minute trip, I could swear the girl’s foot was touching my knee. It barely made contact, but the light sensation of her sole made me sweat harder. My brain was so overstimulated that I didn’t immediately notice I’d slipped the driver more money than he needed. As soon as I realised, he’d already peeled out and left us on the streets.

“Wiggler Avenue,” I said, wiping my forehead of this salty mess. “Better not be any actual Wigglers here.”

“The yellow caterpillars? They’re nice.”

“Startle one and tell me they’re nice with a straight face.”

The street itself looked like a dumpster, a recurring theme in this place. There were more garbage bags strewn on the sidewalk, grey newspapers floating in the air, and even streetlamps bent as if the steel had melted. While we could spot several species here, ironically, there were no Wigglers in sight. Then again, the ominously dark alley must have been brimming with surprises.

“Here we go,” I said, clenching Penelope’s hand tighter. Even with it being daytime, this space gave me the creeps. The alley swallowed light the deeper we walked in, reminiscent of Forever Forest.

“You’re gonna rip my hand off.”

“Better me than someone else, Penelope. Your mother wasn’t kind enough to tell us who we’re coming to see.”

“Got somethin’ that might interest ya!”

You know, I was taught to avoid strangers when I was a child. Then, as I grew older, I learnt I needed to interact with them more. Some would offer money, some would give me survival tools, but in the end, they at least resembled normal people. If you saw them near a school, you wouldn’t have been suspicious.

They were all one million times less creepy than this guy. Any man draped in a black trench coat with a mask over his face immediately sets off alarm bells in my mind. But that was just the start, I kid you not. He spoke with this croaky voice, joined with a hunched-over posture—hunched because he carried a huge bag on his back. This one person managed to change the atmosphere from mildly uncomfortable to pants-wettingly terrifying.

The shady dudes in Toad Town had nothing on Mushroom City’s item merchant.

I could hear Penelope’s legs shaking, and I bet she didn’t mind me crushing her hand now. But even if her fear level wasn’t high, I wasn’t relying on a child to communicate for me. So I cleared my throat, approached the merchant, and adopted a gentle tone.

“I was told you’d have these giant fireworks for sale, sir.”

“Ah, an awesome choice, stranger! They’re more unstable than your daughter’s legs right now. Although, when they go off, they’ll burn themselves into your memories like nothing before.”

“O-kay…” That description totally wasn’t unnerving. “Um, I’d like to have them, please.”

He put his hand up. “Not so fast, stranger! I gotta know what’re ya selling first.”

“Selling?”

The man opened his trench coat, displaying a smorgasbord of items. Among many things, the mines put me most on edge. He looked like the type to snap and kill everyone in the vicinity. Why, Her Highness, did you send us on this trip?

“For these fireworks, ya gotta make an exchange, stranger! Money’s not good enough. Items.”

Enough with the damn stranger! What did we even have to exchange with this dude? Following Minh’s advice, I kept valuable material on my person to a minimum. And seeing how shallow Penelope’s pockets were, I knew she had nothing to offer him. Great, we reached an impasse.

My chuckling didn’t ease the tension. “Sorry, sir, but I don’t have much to offer you. Can I come back later in the day?”

“But ya do.” He pointed his bandaged hand at the ground. Once looking down there, his fingers aimed directly at my feet.

“I just bought these sneakers!” Adiós to the gentle tone. “If you think I’m giving up my clothing, you’re crazier than I thought.”

Laughing slowly, he said, “Not the shoes, stranger. Deliver me a pleasurable service with your feet, and the fireworks are yours to use.”

I didn’t know what angered me more. The fact that I was in the situation to begin with or the time it took me to connect the dots. When I realised what he meant, my face contorted into a mask of pure disgust and horror. One that Penelope’s young mind had no means of understanding.

“What are you saying!? You want me to jerk you off with my feet!?”

“Pleasurable. Service. Stranger.”

“What’s a jerk off?” Penelope asked.

“A no-no word that describes the man before us, Penelope,” I said. “Grr, if this is the only way, guess I’ve got no other choice. But I’m keeping my socks on, mister!”

“All is well.”

The dirty human began to adjust his clothing. At the same time, I removed my shoes, trembling. Seeing Penelope made the situation worse. Not only was I about to give a random creep a handjob with my feet, but Her Highness’ daughter was standing right beside me! Think, Toadette. How do you distract a child so stupidly curious that she entered a deadly forest?

“Penelope, go stare at the wall the whole time. And cover your ears, please.”

“But then I can’t watch.” Her whining tone was coming back. “That’s boring.”

“I know, but you just gotta do it for now.”

“No, I’m not gonna just—”

CLAP!

“WALL!” I raised my hand, causing the girl to flinch and stumble back. “And don’t make me repeat myself!”

Once my inner mother leaked out, she ran to the brick wall, sticking her fingers in her ears. It may have felt satisfying to see her listen to my command for a change, but if only it didn’t take screaming like my own mom would do to me.

Don’t worry, Penelope. I could make this last around five minutes if I…ew…pleased him well enough. But I’d never made a guy burst before today. The closest was having Russ T. handle my feet in the most awkward threesome known to man, yet even then, I wasn’t the one slurping on his nasty penis. Today, my feet were tasked with treating a cock like a crooked gas pedal.

At least with these socks, I wouldn’t have to feel his… NO! Just thinking about the liquid sent me into a state of sickness.

“Over ‘ere, stranger!”

You can do this, Toadette. Penises are not deadly. A human can’t infect you via foot contact.

Why even close my eyes? I’d have to look no matter what. Upon spinning in his direction, the merchant sat on the floor with his legs spread. He still wore the trench coat, but his underclothing was pulled down to reveal two disgustingly hairy legs. Hey, jackass, ever heard of a razor?

But beyond that, his grotesque cock reached its maximum erection state. It appeared cut at a glance, which was fine by me. Anything beat those elephant-like uncut dicks. And if I thought his legs had some intense hair, then his balls were a fuzzball. They were so black that they could pass as hairy meatballs.

My appetite just flew south.

“Bite the bullet,” I mumbled. After sitting in front of the man, I awkwardly hovered my right foot above his cock. “What now?”

“Watch ‘n’ learn, stranger.”

I shuddered as his cold hands touched my socks. Yep, they were so frigid that I could feel them through the fabric. In an instant, he pushed my feet together, making them clap somewhat. Then, when the pressure tightened, and they were sticking like peanut butter and jelly, his penis made its move.

It tapped on the sides of my feet once, then carefully rubbed in between them. Fortunately, the socks couldn’t transfer the feeling of his dirty penis to my brain. Yet they couldn’t filter out the dimensions of his cock, and those made me gasp. Firstly, it was long—longer than I expected from a looking-down angle. Secondly, this was also a fat penis; it had more meat in it than a stuffed turkey.

Stop thinking about food, Toadette!

Whenever it twitched, that sensation also transferred. And since my black socks were fairly thin, the harder he pushed, the more it felt like there existed no barrier between my feet and his cock. After a few slow strokes, my eyes darted to the sky.

“Like that, stranger,” the merchant said. “Keep up the motion, and you’re set to go.”

Now he released my feet, and my legs automatically continued the up-down gesture. So, I was forced to look since I needed to keep track of the cock. Yuck!

“How is this?” I slightly switched positions after a minute, beginning to point my toes.

His moans got louder. “You’re gifted at this, stranger!”

Not sure if that was a good or a bad thing. As long as my legs didn’t get tired, at least this would pass over quickly. In theory. From the few adult videos I’d seen in the way past, it seemed most men took forever to reach orgasm. Too damn long.

“For someone with as much talent as you, ya probably keep your feet lookin’ like a pro.”

“It depends on who you ask,” I said.

The merchant grabbed my ankles, jerking himself off manually again. Honestly, these were the best parts of this miserable experience. I could sit back and tune out while this freak had sex with my feet. Not what I expected to be doing in Mushroom City, but did I truly anticipate any of this? Developing a VERY SMALL foot fetish, sucking Minh’s toes in a movie theatre, dealing with a crime family at an arcade, or giving a fool a foot handjob in an alley? Absolutely not.

In order to normalise this situation by a little bit, I needed to pull a mental trick. One tougher than when the Boo woman possessed me.

My voice dropped to near silence. “Mmm… You like that, Captain Toad?”

Even if the boy didn’t like feet, he was the most recent male Toad I had come into contact with. Given that this merchant had a penis, imposing Captain Toad on him made the most sense.

And wow, did this make for a world of difference. Rather than being a fearful baby, I imagined Captain Toad as a deeper-voiced, stronger Toad. Someone with a bit of chest hair and who could physically defend me in a fight. Hearing his slight moans and groans inspired me to regain control of this jerk-off session.

“I’m the captain now!” You know how you can pedal so quickly on a bike that your feet turn into a comical blur? My feet resembled that perfectly as they rubbed this Toad’s curved shaft. Even the fabric from the socks wouldn’t slow me down; I’d become immune to friction. Captain Toad’s panting intensified, but my feet could pump faster than he could breathe. Watch me.

Yoink! Yoink!

Casting my socks to the wind, I gripped the head of his cock with my clean toes. A bit moist, but clean, nonetheless. Just the way he liked ‘em. And once I did this, he screamed. Was it pain? Possibly, but it shortly turned into a sexy stream of blissy noises. Foot fan or not, even Captain Toad couldn’t deny that I was pleasuring him. Toadette wasn’t some blockhead just because she was a virgin. My ebony toes pulled on his dick like mouldable clay.

Each heavy pant from his body made me smile a whole mile. “Didn’t know someone like you could become so weak under my feet.”

At this point, I couldn’t stop my hand from travelling to my crotch. While it didn’t enter my pants, I furiously massaged myself through these tights. Ah… Fuck…

CLAP! CLAP! CLAP!

With so many sole slaps to his cock, Captain Toad began to reach his limit. He let out a shockingly loud groan after the ball of my foot punted his shaft. Then, like a good boy, he released his bodily fluids all over the tops of my feet. While more of the semen left his body, I continued to pump his cock, letting the white substance spill EVERYWHERE onto my feet. In eight lengthy seconds, my feet were soiled and warm. All thanks to a cute yet annoying Toad.

Once his breathing slowed, I stopped masturbating. Even if it was disappointing that I couldn’t have my orgasm, Penelope was still here. We needed to get a move on.

“An awesome display, stranger!”

Just like that, I went from a beautiful dream to a depressing reality. As I stared at the mess on my feet, my pupils shrank. This was not the sperm of a Toad. The creepy merchant came all over my pedicured toes!

Before my reaction could sour this deal, I maintained my secretly-disturbed smile. “Thank you. Now, the fireworks?”

“You’ve earned ‘em, stranger.” Like a magician, he whipped a heavy box out of his trench coat. Jeez, and it was far from light, weighing nearly 20 kilos or 40 pounds. “Come back anytime.”

“Have a nice day,” I said sweetly, picking up a crouched Penelope. Finally, we could experience full sunlight again.

“I wonder how quickly I can hail a taxi this time…” The girl cut herself off. “What in the world are you doing?”

“Adult matters, Penelope!” I used my socks like napkins, wiping the semen off my feet. But it was easier said than done. What the hell was this stuff made out of? Syrup!? Every time I thought I made progress, I ended up spreading it even further.

Yet Penelope found this humorous. “And I thought only pee came out of boy stuff.”

“Didn’t I tell you not to watch!?”

“When you screamed, ‘I’m the captain now,’ I knew I just had to watch. Sorry.”

Little brat! I discarded my socks in a garbage can, then put my sneakers on. Grabbing her troublesome hand once more, Penelope and I walked down the street for a better taxi-calling spot.

“I hope you’ve got enough common sense not to tell your mom.”

“Duh!” The blue-eyed menace reached up and flicked my nose. “She’d tear the skin off me if I did that.”

A bit dark for a kid to word it like that, but her punishment certainly would’ve felt similar. Sounds like something my mother would’ve threatened to do to me. She probably did out of the thousands of other similar comments.

Oh, Mommy. Just how will you react when you see your daughter again?

Back at the Mushroom Kingdom Hotel, we laid the box at Her Highness’ spiffy feet. While we were drenched in sweat, she was chowing on a giant, juicy lobster. Last time I checked, people ate those for dinner. But this was Mushroom City. Roll with it or you will die of an aneurysm.

“Incredible,” she chortled. “So, how did the deal go?”

I wanted to roll my eyes so badly. “Smoothly, Your Highness.”

“Mother, you couldn’t have chosen a better-lit alley for this meeting? It was like being trapped in a dark closet.”

The princess rubbed her daughter’s head until her hair turned to chaos. “Not your concern, Penelope. Go get me another lobster, please.”

The girl ran towards the kitchen, and now that my work was done, I’d hang with Minh like usual.

“Toadette.”

…Spoke too soon.

“Your Highness?”

“Nearly three weeks later, what do you think of Penelope?”

I gulped yet answered with a happy expression. “She can grind on the nerves, but I like her. She’s like a miniature you, Your Highness.”

Her Highness fanned herself, the vain monarch. “That warms my heart. Keeping her in line takes a lot of hard work, yet I enjoy every minute of it.”

“She shares your excellent appearance, too.” I meant it genuinely. “She’s cute.”

“Whip her into perfection, and that’s what you get.”

More alarms in my head. This remark likely wouldn’t have been so off if not for Her Highness owning plenty of whips—whips that I’d received the end of more than once.

“Something wrong?” she asked.

“No!” Nervous laughter left my body. “I was just thinking of how soft and adorable her feet are. Yours too, Your Highness. I’ve grown to appreciate them more, actually.”

“Hmph, you’re gonna kill me with all these compliments, Toadette.” She grabbed the lobster from her returning daughter. “Thank you. I’ll need you tomorrow, so please rest yourself. You can bring your friend along as well.”

What had I gotten myself into?

Chapter Text

“Hahaha! Didn’t think you were handing out footjobs, Toadette.”

Minh was in stitches from my recounting of this morning’s events. Meanwhile, I was trapped in the shower, washing my feet with hot rags and an entire bottle of body wash.

“I thought he’d have me suck him off before jerking him off with my toes!”

“Mushroom City. Part of its charm, you’ll never know what you’ll run into next.”

“Story of my life. How bad was your day? From what I see, you look like you came from gardening.”

Whereas I finished before noon, Minh had only arrived a few minutes ago. And it was late enough that the Sun had descended past the horizon. Unlike me, she wasn’t sweaty in the slightest. The only thing covering her body was dirt. Through the blurry glass, it was obvious that she was brown from head to toe.

“Stopping a sewage leak isn’t as fun as I thought,” she said.

“No!” I flung myself against the ceramic wall. “Don’t you dare get in that tub! I’ll be out the shower soon.”

“Joking. I helped them start setting up for the festival. The field area.”

Ha. Ha.

“Don’t forget we won’t be here too much longer.”

“Thanks for the added stress, Minh.” I rubbed my soapy feet on the glass door. “You’re really helping me in my time of need.”

“I’ll be with you. You won’t be the only one nervous.”

I chuckled. “What’d you be nervous for? My mom will just remember you as that weird girl I hung out with. I’m the only one who’ll be in trouble, even past age 18.”

“Wanna go tomorrow?”

“I’m busy. Come to think of it, I’ll be busy all week.” If she still lived in that apartment and I visited on the weekend, I’d have little time to accomplish anything meaningful. “We’ll aim for Thursday and no later.”

— TUESDAY: 7 days before the festival —

“Wake up! Do not make me bang on your doors!”

“Little girl, we heard you!” I screamed back.

At the tune of Penelope’s screechy alarm, we readied ourselves for another busy day. This time, Minh and I kept in sync. We descended to the lobby in a record of ten minutes, standing before Her Highness. The royal, believe it or not, had someone else polishing her pink heels. Perfect. Better them than me.

“About time. I need you two to listen closely,” she said, whipping her hair back.

“Yes, Your Highness.”

The princess checked that no guests were eavesdropping on us and summoned us to get closer. We flanked her on each side. Meanwhile, the shoe cleaner was none the wiser to our conversation.

“Do you two know of the Scapelli family?”

“We ran into—”

“We’ve heard of them, Your Highness.” I cut Minh off before she gave up too much info. Even if we knew one member, implying that we knew them could lead to more questions from the princess. Basic survival instinct: don’t give your life story to someone you can’t trust.

Her Highness nodded. “They’d mentioned five years ago in the news that they were planning something big. We have reason to suspect they’re setting sights on the upcoming Star Festival.”

“Why this one and not the previous ones?” I immediately asked.

SLAP!

“Toadette, what did we discuss about asking unimportant questions?”

“I shall stay in my lane, Your Highness.”

She cleared her throat. “The Scapellis are using a makeshift computer office as a base for their deliveries downtown. Although, to cover their tracks, we know they hire non-blood-related staff, such as this girl here.”

She handed us a small photo of a teenage-looking girl. A light-skinned, blue-eyed human with two orange ponytails springing off her head.

“Delivering to them isn’t so simple,” the woman continued, “yet I’m told she’s the type who can be bribed. When you go to the address on the back of that, give her this.”

Now she gave us a small white case with a smooth, ceramic texture.

“They’ll believe it has several Coins in it, but each of those Coins has a microphone. Just like that, we’ll record their every move. Understood?”

“Understood, Your Highness,” we said simultaneously.

“Now don’t forget about Penelope. Humans don’t always play nicely with my poor, squishy mushrooms, even in Mushroom City.”

“I’m ready!” Like magic, the girl spawned behind us. Her cheery attitude strongly contrasted with my face of concern.

Once cast onto MC’s streets, I spiralled into a tired, giving Minh a lengthy list of complaints with our task. Why were we doing something so shady? This wasn’t like dealing with the Shy Guys. In that situation, not only were my orders from a different monarch, but it was a basic thief mystery. Today, Her Highness was sending us, two weaker Toads and a ten-year-old child, to infiltrate a crime family.

“And this doesn’t raise a single concern?” I asked Minh.

She shook her head. “Her Highness is protecting the Star Festival. That’s what a good leader does.”

“Tackling a threat like this is something more up your butt buddy’s alley.”

“I prefer the term ‘FWB’. Besides, look at how much you’ve done for the princess since your hiring. I think she wants you doing this ‘cause she trusts you more than anyone else. I’d be honoured.”

Whether Her Highness trusted me or not, she was still sending us into the dragon’s lair. What about that couldn’t Minh understand? Her Highness was lucky this address wasn’t taking us back to that arcade. However, that unrelated girl better be the only one in this new location.

But if violence became an option, I’d be prepared this time.

Not five minutes passed before I was already cranky. Why? Look up. Just like yesterday, the Sun shined a big spotlight on my cap. But unlike yesterday, at least I was equipped with shorts this time. Nice and comfy, and my legs wouldn’t sweat like crazy. Additionally, my feet would come out on top, thanks to these older pink flip-flops. I felt they were more suited to my casual clothing than the bulkier slides, and shall combat arise, they contained the stronger sample of my odour.

Minh and Penelope also felt the effects of the heat. In fact, since we all wore flip-flops, we generated a mass of sticky noises. Our shoes’ material clung to our feet, then snapped off whenever we leaned forward enough.

SNAP! SNAP! SNAP!

Now picture hearing that for ten blocks. Minh told us the place was within walking distance. 20 or 30 minutes, nothing too extreme for a Toad Town native.

Trailing behind her still gave me a nice view of her soles. Mmm… Every split second the flip-flops didn’t block them was an absolute treat. Even if they got slowly dirty the further we went, a goofy smile appeared on my face.

Covering my mouth, I asked her, “When are you ever gonna wear those flats?”

“On the day of the festival, duh.” She spun backwards. “I’m not gonna risk ruining them early.”

“Alright. The flip-flops look good enough on your feet anyway.”

“Hehe. What’s gotten into you with all these compliments lately?” She put a finger on her lip. “Where was this energy years ago when I needed it?”

“If you told me years ago, maybe we could’ve fast-forwarded my acceptance of your strange yet interesting foot love.”

Penelope butted in. “Ooh, you like feet now, Miss Toadette?”

“I just said they don’t bother me. That doesn’t equate to love, Penelope.”

And then she did it. IT. That smug know-it-all face, as if she caught my bluff. I knew better than to take a ten-year-old seriously, but the fear of Minh thinking I was lying was greater. In a haste, I blurted out another denial—one that left even me scratching my head.

“I’d maybe suck someone’s toes but only to make them happy. Nothing else.”

They squinted for a few seconds, snickering while my face lit up in embarrassment. What were you thinking, Toadette? You could’ve just said you’d gotten used to feet, or something less awkward. But no, you had to jump straight to toe sucking with the leaping power of Super Mario. All because Minh’s and Penelope’s toes were wiggling before you.

“Sure, Miss Toadette. I believe you.” Penelope whipped her hair, her laughter getting louder.

“It stills means a lot to me.” The brown-haired Toad grabbed my shoulder. “Just a month ago, I kept thinking you were gonna snap knowing about my thing. I’m blessed I don’t have to hide myself around you of all people, Toadette.”

“You’re welcome.” I couldn’t even say that looking at her face. Instead, I watched her feet turn as she continued walking.

Tons of similar-looking structures later, Minh halted us. Her flip-flops squeaked louder than the cars grinding to a halt in the traffic.

“Looks like we’re here.”

A generic steel structure, this building wasn’t distinguishable from the rest of this crowded street. Although, that made it a good cover for any illegal business. The police would easily glaze over it due to its position between a clothing department and toy shop, areas that attracted more innocent eyes.

The sign read “WW SHIPPING & RECEIVING” in a red, chipping font.

“Don’t attract more attention than necessary,” I said to the girls.

Ding! Ding!

Ew. This room’s bad smell immediately hit me in the face. Bad BO mixed with a bottle of depression. Yet there weren’t many people in the room, so the stench’s origins were shrouded in mystery. The only person sitting at any kind of computer desk was this human girl.

Hmm… Definitely the one in the photo.

“Hello,” I said, placing the case on her wobbling desk. “You know who to take this to.”

The visibly bored teen kept focus on her monitor. “From who?”

“From…” We were in a pickle. If this was spy equipment, I couldn’t tell her it was sent by Princess Peach. “We don’t have a name. We were just asked to send it here.”

“Can’t do nothing about that. We don’t accept anything without all the info.”

I looked at Minh. In response, all she did was shrug. Of course, the child didn’t have any solutions on hand. Perhaps we could create a name on the spot. No, that’d be stupid. Obviously, a crime family would have ways of counteracting that, likely with a series of extra questions.

“This is urgent.” I now leaned on the desk. “Don’t make me say it again.”

The girl’s typing slowed. “Are you threatening me?”

“Toadette—”

“I know what I’m doing.” I grabbed the girl’s wrist. “We’re getting this case to the Scapellis one way or another.”

“We don’t need to escalate this. Calm down.”

I groaned. “Here we go again, Minh. You telling me to not act on something, even though what I’m doing has some…”

What was that smoky smell?

SSSZZZZ…

I took one look at my hand.

“AY!” It was burning! It was as orange as this girl’s hair, and even after pulling back, the sizzling didn’t go away. “The hell was that? That wasn’t from a Fire Flower!”

The evil girl smirked. “My tennis academy helped me pick up a few magic tricks. So where were we? I think your friend was telling you how dumb your plan was.”

“You listen, you little—”

Penelope pushed her way in front of me. “Ma’am, you look super stressed. If there’s anything we can do, and I mean ANYTHING, we’ll do it. We just really need this package shipped off, pretty please.” The girl batted her eyes repeatedly, almost trying to hypnotise the worker.

If the threat of an attack didn’t convince her, how would words work?

Minh pinched my shoulder. “Next time, don’t pull a Captain Toad.”

More typing, accompanied by the sound of a sputtering fan. It took several seconds before the teen looked in our direction again, and when she did, she went right back to the computer. See? She couldn’t give less of a damn.

“Hey!” I slammed on the desk. “We’re still here, ginger!”

“Ace.” Her finger lit a flame over my hand, getting me to retreat again. “Lemme ask, mushrooms. How well can Toads remove a fungus from something naturally?”

Minh laughed. “If it’s light enough, it’s a piece of cake.”

“But it’s a professional service, first and foremost. People don’t do it for free,” I added.

Ace leaned back in her chair, yawning. “Well, I’ve had this fungus growing on my feet for two years now. Just a part of why I can’t get back to playing tennis. It’s causing this toe jam stuff that’s stopping my toes from resting right. And so…”

THUD! THUD!

“If the rude mushroom can get my feet back to normal, I’ll handle the delivery details. I mean, now you wouldn’t be doing it for free.”

At my side, Minh’s jaw obliterated the floor. Her eyes twinkled like diamonds as she scanned this human’s feet up and down.

Her soles had patches of black stains. And the higher you got, the worse the sight became. A thicket of sticky toe jam darkened all ten of her toes. It was so dense that when she scrunched, the substance squirted in the air like paint out a tube, creating a thin spiral trail. These were, without a doubt, the sickest feet I’d ever laid eyes upon. The homeless kept their feet in better condition.

“You think this is funny?” I asked Penelope, who was giggling. Remember, this was HER idea.

“What’s not to laugh about? This is perfect, Miss Toadette.”

Ace clapped her feet together. “Doctors said it’s cost a million Coins just to get rid of this stupid fungus at this point.”

Damn you, Peach. Thanks to your vague instructions, I stood at a horrifying ultimatum. Either suck out a girl’s foot gunk or refuse to get this package sent—a package that could save the lives of tens of thousands from some terror attack.

You’re lucky I value my job and people’s lives enough to nod my head to Ace’s terms.

“Can I help?” Minh pulled up a chair and started to rub her face against Ace’s foot, sniffing profoundly. “Oh my gosh, I can’t even— MMM! I just need to know what these taste like!”

“Foot fetish?” Ace asked, delivering a swift kick to Minh’s excitement. “Sure. Make yourself at home. Not the first freak I’ve entertained.”

And the Toad’s smile returned. She fondled the foot with admiration.

Gulping, I took up the additional barebones chair. Its rigid nature propped me straight, and I could hear the sounds of jam being produced from whatever condition she had. It was like the fizzling of a soda. Utterly vile.

“How do you even live with this stuff? Does it not stink?”

“You get used to it,” Ace chuckled, typing on the computer. “Even back at the academy, my partner and I always had some of the worst feet. He found mine sweet, and… I kinda liked his.”

“Gross.”

“Don’t be a stick in the mud, Miss Toadette.” Penelope pointed to Minh. “She’s got the hang of it.”

Nom, nom, nom…

…I’m sorry. I didn’t know we were at a five-star restaurant. Minh sounded like a beast as she licked Ace’s right sole. Her tongue instantly darkened, although this wasn’t a deterrent in the slightest. She took five licks, starting from the bottom of Ace’s heel to just beneath her toes. And after three licks, Minh smacked her lips. If her comically wide smile didn’t indicate that she was in bliss, then her powerful moan sent that message clearly.

“Never tasted a human foot fungus before. I think your feet have competition, Toadette.” She carefully slurped Ace’s skinny heel before licking the ball of her foot in a circular motion. While spots of blackness lingered, some were lighter than others. Maybe we could rid this girl of her fungus quickly if we powered through it.

But it’d take all the willpower in the galaxy.

Time to rip the bandage off. I stuck out my tongue, aiming for the bottommost part of the left foot. The toes could wait, OH, they could wait.

“Good girl, Miss Toadette. I think Miss Ace’s gonna be real happy once she sees your tongue after this.”

Shut up, little girl!

The bitch’s foot smelt like absolute trash. Wait a minute. That’s an insult to trash. They smelt like they’d been dipped in a chemical plant for years, finally unleashing their odour to the world. No one’s feet should ever make you shed tears like you’re cutting onions, yet Ace found a way. Rather, her fungus found a way.

Past the stinkiness, there wasn’t much to say about the taste. The foot was sweaty, so I got my sodium fix for today. However, it only tasted a little sour. I mainly noticed it while sucking on the darker patches. But aside from those bitter areas, I could at least tolerate licking the fungus out of her sole.

And like Minh had said, they were beautiful. Ace’s feet were as skinny as mine, though her arches were a degree deeper. If we lined our feet up, you’d notice that hers were smaller. A good or bad thing? You decide. The girl was lucky, as it meant she didn’t grow up getting teased over oversized feet.

No, they’d tease her because they stunk like cheese soaked in dated vinegar.

While handling her computer business, she laughed a handful of times. “My toes…”

“I’ll go slower,” Minh said, licking her lips. Gross! She’d already been tasting the toes, and her tongue took a dive to the clump of jam. After bringing it back into her mouth, chewing it, and swallowing it, she puckered her lips. “Yum. Soury.”

“You’re sick,” I mumbled.

“Sick with love.”

No, just sick. And after today, I was gonna need a trip to the hospital. Now that the sole was wet, and I’d sucked out some of the fungus on this part of the foot, guess what remained. Oh, the toes? Congrats. Your reward is the most nausea-inducing description of licking that my brain can come up with.

Firstly, the substance felt like school lunch—soft yet firm, a whole contradiction. On top of that, its warmth stood out since I wasn’t expecting foot filth to be sizzling. But after it rubbed against my lips, some of it oozing onto my face, I opened my mouth. Clearly, sucking the toes wasn’t good enough. I had to fight this thing at the source. Between the toes.

Squish! Slurp!

The tears flowed like rain as I sucked the toe jam out. Chunks landed on my tongue, waiting to get further softened. After obtaining a mouthful of the blackish gloop, my teeth got to work chewing it. Oof… For as well as I managed the sole, this stuff was toxic. Overly salty and tasted like… Picture eating macaroni, but you find that all the cheese is brown and has specks of sand, dust, hair and everything else unholy.

Let’s just say your tongue won’t like it unless your brain’s malfunctioning.

Gulp!

Oof. That was terrible. Unfortunately, a jungle of grime remained on Ace’s toes. And if I wanted her stupid ass to deliver this package to the Scapellis, the toe jam would have to go.

So, I sucked until my lungs shrivelled. The filthier my mouth felt, the more progress I made. Enduring her foot smell had already been an accomplishment. However, surviving her little infection should’ve earned me a badge. Most other Toads would have refused on principle. Meanwhile, I gobbled it up like lunch.

“Nice,” Ace moaned. “I can actually move my toes. Almost.”

“I’m getting there.” After swallowing my 30th mouthful of gunk, I sucked her toes for an extra cleansing. Bobbing up and down on the big one made her lick her lips, and I could see she loved getting the rest of them sucked as well. For once, I couldn’t blame her. It must’ve been relieving to have two suckers ridding you of your dirty fungus.

GULP!

I slammed my fists on the desk, gasping for air. “Done!”

A load of sliminess could be heard when Ace rubbed her feet together. As violated as my mouth felt, seeing her pale soles put a small smirk on my face. Because now their beauty wasn’t interrupted. Minh, meanwhile, was still trying to kiss her foot. Jeez, was her goal to make the girl numb at this rate?

“I think you two can skip breakfast today,” Penelope giggled, slapping my cheek. “And now, this wonderful lady is gonna deliver the package, right?”

Ace leaned back, stretching her feet on the desk for nearly 40 seconds. “It’ll take a day, but sure, I’ll get it to them. I can fake a name and address like magic.”

“You’d better.” I got out my seat, wiping the remnants of foot grime off my lips. “I swear, you could pass as Daisy’s daughter with how strongly your feet reek.”

“Heh, I wish I could go to Sarasaland. All the positions in this kingdom are snatched up as soon as they open. Sarasaland’s kingdoms give you time to hop on their team.” She spun around in her chair, finally bringing her feet to the floor. “Bye-bye.”

“Hope the best for you, ma’am,” Penelope said, happily heading for the door. Or she would’ve if I hadn’t grabbed her by the collar.

“You got a phone number?” I asked.

Ace’s eyebrows dropped. “Why?”

Ripping a page from Peach’s playbook, I refused to answer why I needed the number. But, against all odds, she still gave it to me. Hmm… If Daisy ended up turning her into some footslave, that’d still be an improvement from working for a dangerous family. Heck, maybe she’d actually convert the teen into an adopted daughter of sorts.

“You the only one who works here?” Minh asked. “Seems so lonely.”

“Nah. Other guy’s just not here all the time. ‘Cause he’s got school, so he comes in late. That old thing.”

Ding! Ding!

“I was literally here yesterday. Forgot we don’t have school this week?”

At the door was a red-spotted Toad with brown eyes and a small tuft of brown hair. Aside from the black headband wrapped around his cap, you wouldn’t think anything special of him. However, I got a little chuckle from how his voice was deeper than Captain Toad’s. Eh, almost. It was a bit croaky and unstable. Puberty must’ve run this poor kid over like a train.

“Ow! Something wrong?” I asked Minh, who choked my arm. She should’ve been savouring the nasty grime in her mouth, not acting like a Scapelli caught us.

The boy raised an eyebrow. “What are you doing here?”

“What are you doing here?” she retorted.

“Working. Told you I found something easy.”

I released myself from Minh. “You know everyone in this town, huh?”

Instead of responding to my light-hearted question, she solely focused on the boy. She rushed to him, whispered something in her language, and finally grabbed my and Penelope’s hands. Without saying a word, she speed-walked us out the building. Moving so quickly, the Toad almost busted her head, nearly tripping over the gap between the door and sidewalk. Oh, but how important that second delay was.

“That your cousin or something, Dane T.?” Ace asked before the door shut.

In the Mushroom Kingdom, the chances of two Toads sharing the same name were smaller than finding a human and Toad wedded. Even without last names, we had a knack for not repeating names like most humans did. At most, we’d share our parent’s name with a junior or numbered suffix.

So, why did that girl just say my little brother’s name?

Chapter Text

Screw heading for the hotel. While Minh initially tried to direct us there, I went where my feet would carry me. This brought us to a place called Shine Park. From its name alone, you could smell the grass and dated park equipment. But nevertheless, the expansive land made for good running grounds for Penelope. No worries. I could keep my eye on her while discussing these critical matters with Minh. The gigantic oak ensured the sunrays wouldn’t add to my frustration.

“So,” I set my hands on my lap, “how’d he recognise you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Do I look like I was born yesterday?”

“Well, you’re about as cute as a baby, Toadette.”

“Playing ignorant won’t help. Why, and more importantly, how did my brother recognise you back there?”

Minh played with her fingers, more content to stare at her hands than my growingly concerned face. But I wasn’t gonna loosen up on her. Any leeway would let her slip out of answering the question.

“We’re going to that apartment Thursday, right? You can tell me now, or I’ll find out then. Your choice.”

“Jeez, no one chooses the delayed option in this situation!” I grabbed her wrist. “Why are you acting so stubborn when this was all your idea anyway?”

She blinked rapidly. “Thursday’s not that far away. Why are you so mad?”

“I swear, if you don’t start speaking sense, I will absolutely spread word about your secret around Toad Town.”

Finally, a gasp. Minh’s face softened, so perhaps she was finally learning to cooperate. Getting the girl to cough up secrets was like a dice roll. Sometimes you could trick her into revealing something, and other times she was like a bank safe. Her lips finally opened.

“That’d hurt.” And she tucked her head into her knees. “That’d hurt a lot, Toadette.”

“Try me.”

After seconds of silence, I sighed. “Continue being unhelpful.”

“You’re not the only one under pressure!” Her spastic shriek made me jump, and seeing the red ooze from her cap where her nails dug made things tenser. “What’ll ever make you stop thinking this world revolves around you?”

“It’s my family situation, you dumb bitch!” Now my panting ramped up. “The least you could do is be honest and stop making things worse!”

The only sounds coming from Minh were crying mixed with hyperventilation. It was quiet enough to not attract anyone else’s attention, but boy, did it bring down my mood. Hmph. What’ll ever make you stop thinking this world revolves around you? Apparently, wanting an understanding of what’s happened for years counts as the world revolving around myself. Stupid.

Some light came to the park in the form of Penelope. Surprisingly, she got along well with the other kids. It was like watching a recess period in school, only without all the name-calling and fistfights. The girl crossed the rusting monkey bars faster than others, spent an eternity spinning those tic-tac-toe objects, and gave every slide a taste of her butt. 

“Hey, unless you got a P Balloon, don’t do that!” That was the only time I yelled at her, right after she jumped off the tallest slide. Yeah, Peach would beat the white off me if her daughter returned with a broken leg.

But Penelope gave me a thumbs-up. Unlike Minh, she knew better than to add to my list of problems.

“Ready to head back?” I grabbed her once an hour passed. “The Sun should’ve sapped all your energy quicker. Your endurance is something else.”

“Sorry. Can’t remember the last time I played with kids my own age,” the girl chuckled. Her laughter drew a giggle out of me, as rather than simply tired, she sounded like she was high as a kite.

“It’s okay.” And returning to the realm of sadness, I turned to Minh. “We’re leaving.”

She finally exited her Koopa state. However, getting her to say a word proved unfruitful. Did I really expect a response? …Kind of. Her silence brought down the whole walk to the hotel. Whenever I’d look at Penelope to listen to her excitedly describe her playtime, Minh’s miffed mug tailed right behind.

And it pissed me off.

Penelope couldn’t ignore it, especially with me squeezing her hand so tightly that my veins appeared. “What’s wrong with Miss Minh T.?”

“Too daft to tell me a secret she’s kept for years,” I said loudly enough so there wasn’t a chance in Hell that she’d miss it.

“Secret?”

“It’s about me and my family. Nothing you need to know.”

Penelope got closer. “Oh, you said something about that when we were in the desert’s inn. I almost forgot. You don’t ever really talk about them, Miss Toadette.”

“Had no reason to until recently, thanks to your mother inviting me to Mushroom City.” I pointed to Minh. “She’s been telling me to see them again.”

“Okay… But can’t you just ignore her? You don’t have to—”

“Penelope, if you wanna talk, do it with her.” I released her hand. “I’m not mad at you. I really need some solo time, though.”

The yellow-haired child stared for a couple of seconds. “Yes, ma’am.”

Thank you. You know, this city was getting easier to navigate. Or perhaps it was just that I could see the obnoxiously tall hotel alongside the other skyscrapers. It stood several blocks away, reflecting sunlight like a giant mirror, but good nevertheless that my familiarity with Mushroom City had increased. If only I hadn’t left long ago, I’d know it better than Minh.

But as a trade-off, I would’ve never met her in the first place. And not meeting her would’ve meant I’d never be homeless in Toad Town as an adult, winding up as a slave for Princess Peach. Hmm… All this because some random new girl walked past my front door.

☆ Age 7 - Second Grade ☆

“She’ll be in our class for the rest of the year. She moved here from MC two years ago and is confident she’s adjusted to Toad Town’s climate. Anything you wish to add, Minh T.?”

Hey, Miss Cookie, I’d probably care a bit more about the new girl if I wasn’t so sleep-deprived from your vocab list. Thirty words in a week were more than enough for a second-grader. Did we really need to know how to spell “cooperate” correctly? If someone read “ko operate”, they’d know what I meant. Just speak if writing is such a problem.

“Pick where you want to sit,” our loving teacher told this new girl. Already, her smile crept me out. She wouldn’t stop. And it was so wide…

I crossed my fingers that she wouldn’t plop next to me. Please, no. Dang it, stop getting closer!

…Phew. She squeezed between other students in the middle. So, my island of peace in the back continued undisturbed. Yep, every desk around me was empty. All nine of them. Three grade levels of this made me used to having no one around me. I liked it this way, okay? There was comfort in not having the entire world chatting me up.

DING! DING!

As the day ended, hours later, I got ready to head home. First, papers… Just force them in the bag, Toadette. Those folders were so useless. Now, zip up the—

“BOO!”

“Kyaa!”

Five dull pencils rolled out my backpack, accompanied by students’ laughter. While grabbing my utensils frantically, I glanced at the girl who snuck up on me. Ugh, it was that new one.

Why wouldn’t she stop smiling like a killer clown in a movie? Seriously, seeing her face this close made me scared to blink.

“Hi-ya. You’re the only one I didn’t meet.” She held out her hand. “I’m Minh T. Ya know, like minty-flavoured ice cream.”

In a rush, I slapped her hand and dashed out the classroom. Great. Not only did she get a look at my disorganised, stained backpack, but my response made me look like a weirdo to the whole class. Well, even more of a weirdo. Guess nothing was really new, huh?

Ouch. Ouch. Okay, this would be the last day I’d wear these paper-thin sneakers. The soles gave no protection to my feet whatsoever, making every step an exercise in pain. But somehow, like every other day, I made it home by 2:40.

The smell of cheap incense and baby powder still lingered from this morning. For a second, I confused the dust raining on me from the doorframe to be excess baby powder.

“I’m home,” I announced, kicking off my shoes at the door.

“How was your day?” Mommy was still in the baby’s room.

“Fine.”

How bored she must’ve been to receive that answer every single day from her only talking child. It was my safe answer to not discuss anything that happened at school. But really, how else would I describe it? Wow, a new girl appeared, and we went over the same stupid vocab and math. Not to mention, I spent all of P.E. jogging in loops like always.

My mom was too occupied with Dane T. to give one darn about anything I was going through. As evidenced by the endless giggles and rattle shakings coming from that room.

“Hmph.” Mean as it was to despise an infant, our new family member was doing too good a job making me feel pointless. Why was I even here when Mom would rather play with DT all day?

His baby room was all fresh and pretty. Meanwhile, my room had the same scratchy mattress and stinky carpet. Eventually, my body adjusted to the sick climate, but I’d never be in total harmony with this horrible paint job. The walls should’ve been white, yet the paint yellowed over time in random spots. Just…how? Once I dropped my bookbag, I sat in the pile of dirty clothes, whipping out my reading book. More studying for a test.

Though I sure wished the kids outside would shut up. Could their playing get any louder? Their laughs distracted my attempt to memorise the correct spelling of “perspiring”.

My feet sure were gonna perspire tomorrow. With or without footwear, the temperature during September in Toad Town could make a desert feel like Shiver City. Okay, maybe that was infrequent. But the point is that my feet would boil since the Sun was very angry.

That following day, I plucked another shirt from the pile, grabbed yesterday’s skirt and panties, and went into the bathroom. I squirted the toothpaste on my finger and began to brush up and down. Finally, my ten fingers brushed my crimson-red hair as best as they could. In a minute, it looked tidy like any other girl’s. What do you think of my skill level? I know, I’m talented.

Down the stairs I went. I opened the cabinets in the kitchen, met with the same cans of beans and little more. I swear, I always opened them even when knowing that nothing new was there.

“Leaving, Mommy,” I called, walking to the front door lighter than yesterday.

“Hold up.”

Oh-no. When she said that, it meant it was inspection time. There she was!

The tall woman ran to the kitchen in her pyjamas, with the same mess of red hair covering her brown eyes. No matter how much it should’ve blocked her vision, somehow, she saw through every inch of me. Every inch.

“Come on, now. You can’t keep re-wearing the same things, TT. Especially panties. That is sick.”

“…”

“Do you like getting teased? Did you even shower last night?” She sniffed my hair. “TT. You’ll just go to school late, okay? Upstairs.”

“I only have three shirts,” I managed to say. “We haven’t been to the laundromat in a week.”

She groaned. “Yes, I did. So you mean you didn’t put all your clothes in the hamp— Why do you keep that pile in your room? Just stop being lazy, and I could’ve had them washed!”

“Or you could buy me some more clothes.”

“Don’t get smart. I could have you go to school without clothes if I wanted. Be grateful I’m not one of those parents.”

There it was! Always with the threats. I could never escape those. Arguing with my mom was always pointless. Because just like every adult, she’d never admit that kids made good points. So, I did what any intelligent girl my age would. Rolled my eyes, scoffed super loudly, and left my house.

“TT!”

“Bye-bye!”

“Get in here! Where are your shoes?”

“Get me a pair that’ll last me more than a month!”

So what if I stunk? It was the norm since our soap never lasted long. And walking to school barefoot sucked, especially since the dirt was getting stuck between my toes. Yet it beat the heck out of walking with worn-out sneakers. My feet were delighted to have some relief. The school already knew of our desperate financial situation, so they gave me some leeway in breaking uniform; typically, everyone was to wear closed-toed shoes. I’d likely attract a couple eyes, but people already gazed since I sat in the middle of empty desks.

“I don’t think she bathes,” one student whispered to Minh T. Clearly not quietly since I could still pick it up.

“Why?”

“You smell anyone else in here? Look at how dirty she is. She has naturally stinky feet.”

“Aw, that’s not nice.”

The other student snickered. “Dare you to lick ’em for ten coins.”

CLAP!

“No talking during a test.”

Oh, so finally our teacher decided to jump in, two minutes of insults later. We filled the air with scribbles, hurrying to finish this vocab test. It contained 30 questions, but 15 were multiple-choice, giving me an edge. Why hadn’t someone made it illegal to create non-multiple-choice questions? Maybe if I sent a letter to Her Highness, she could make that dream come true.

Hmm… The right way to spell “friend” is “frend”, right?

Done! As long as I got a C or higher, my mom wouldn’t care one bit. Now came the moment I was waiting for: P.E. 

Unlike most the girls, I enjoyed this time. It let me be free rather than stuck in a small classroom all day. And the best part was that we second graders got P.E. right before lunch, so we didn’t need to worry about Toads puking on the field. Mostly. Occasionally, I’d get a little too speedy for my own good.

“Push-ups, go! There you go, there you go!”

One, two, three… The longer I exercised, the more the lack of protection on my feet began to hurt. Because we did all these exercises on a rocky court used for both basketball and running, the Sun cooked my feet like they were delicious ribs.

“Toadette,” a female classmate asked, “where are your shoes?”

“…”

“Yeah, put your toes away.” A boy plugged his nose. “They’re nasty!”

“Are your feet not burning?”

“I never knew your feet were so big, Toadette.”

“Be careful with those nails, Toadette. You’ll poke someone’s eye out.”

And it went on and on and on and on and on and on. I couldn’t do jumping jacks in peace, play a brief game of dodgeball in peace, or just breathe in peace. Someone somewhere was determined to mock me. Man, I go barefoot for one day, and this is what happens?

“Wash your feet, hobo!”

BOP!

The coach blew his whistle. “She’s in! No hits to the face!”

Served the student right. Although, when he walked to the out section, he would continue to hurl insults at me. 

No matter how much they mocked me, I wasn’t allowed to fight back. After all, I’d get detention or even worse for simply returning fire. Luckily, P.E. offered me a way to expel the rage from my body. A nice run always did the job, and once we were allowed to pick our own activity, I returned to my home.

“Hello, track,” I whispered, tapping the ground with the ball of my foot. “I’m thinking eight laps so we can get two miles in, how about you?”

“Hi-ya again, Toadette.”

…Why? What did this girl want this time? Reluctantly, I brought my head up to see her disturbingly cheerful face.

“You can talk, right?”

I nodded, folding my arms. Everyone here thought my vocal cords were snipped out, including the teachers.

“Phew. Thought they were mocking someone disabled back there.” She took a step closer. “So, don’t feel bad about your feet, okay? They’re normal.”

“Hmm?”

“Lemme see ’em up close for a sec.”

Before I had a chance to retaliate, she spun behind me and lifted my leg. Don’t freak out, Toadette. You don’t want another reason for your class to laugh at you. But why was she dusting off my foot in the middle of a track? After the sixth time she rubbed her hand across my sole, I got the point. My feet were dirtier than if they’d been walking around in a barn. Duh. Even a dude from space could see that. Could we—

“Hehehehe…”

SMACK!

Pant… Pant… She should’ve known what to expect if she wiggled her finger between my toes. Maybe that kick to the face got the gears turning in her brain again.

When she rose, a faint footprint was on her face. But that smile remained as if it was firmly stamped into her.

“Yeah, they’re not like boy feet. You don’t got ugly nails or anything, so you get a passing grade on the foot test, Toadette. Congrats!”

She took my neutral expression as a pass to keep talking.

“But I think you need a massage. You have way too much stress in your feet.”

I cocked my head.

“My mom works in that reflex…ology field. She practises on me and my dad all the time.” And right then, she gasped and let her irises extend past her sclera. “I’ll ask her to give you a massage.”

Nope! Stranger danger! I shook my head, but in response, the pink-spotted Toad nodded. Her grin never looked as creepy as it had now.

“It’s not scary, I promise. I’ll show you how it feels right now if you want.”

More head shaking and walking back.

“Don’t be shy.”

My grunts got louder. I shook my head so much that it was about to snap off.

“My magical hands are here to save the day.”

“No!” I jumped back, panting and grasping my cap. Could she not get the hint that I didn’t want a weirdo touching my feet? Only one girl was allowed to touch these toes, and her name was Toadette.

“You talked!” The new girl pointed at me, trembling as if she’d seen a Boo. “You just said a word!”

Grr… Now if I went back to giving the silent treatment, she’d keep probing me further. This idiot needed directness in a way most my other classmates didn’t. 

“Do not touch my feet.”

Finally, her smile disappeared. “Aw, I just wanted to help. You sure?”

“Yes!” Without taking a single stretch, I left her in the dust. I didn’t care what city she came from. That extra fat could only slow her down.

…Whoa! H-How did she catch up with me? She was skipping, not even running with the proper form. …Of course. Those clean, cushioned sneakers on her feet gave her luck. Eventually, after two minutes of hearing her brag about her much better life and so-called healthier feet, I snapped.

“What will it take for you to leave me alone?”

“Promise you’ll swing by my place.”

“My mom’s not cool with me going to strangers’ homes.”

“But I’m not a stranger,” she panted. “I’ll go to your house, okay?”

“She doesn’t want that either.”

“Now I know you’re just messing with me.” For now, she chuckled. In seconds, her little body gave out. These two laps knocked all the wind out of her, so she drifted towards the water fountains. Now I could think clearly for the rest of P.E. For example, I had time to guess which punishment I’d receive when I walked through that door later.

Iron burning on my thigh? A chance. Getting my ass beat the old-fashioned way? Very possible.

If only things had ended there. When we wrapped up our finally period—it was science, and we were still learning about how a Yoshi could hover against all odds—the talkative devil snuck up behind me. But this time, she wasn’t subtle about it. And I also had an ace up my sleeve, as my backpack was already stuffed before she could utter a peep.

I dashed out the door and made a beeline for home. From the school, it was 20 minutes away at walking speed.

While my heart raced, and the jolt of energy gave me confidence that I could make it, reality had a cruel way of knocking down my expectations. Just within a minute and a half, that pain happened. You know the one. You’re running nicely, feeling the hot breeze against your skin, and suddenly that stabbing sensation happens around your stomach. Right side, left side, it doesn’t matter.

These side stitches put an end to my sprint. But I smiled looking back. Minh T. wasn’t anywhere in sight to bother me. Now—

“What the heck?”

Breathing like a stalker, she wiped sweat off her forehead. “You make a Toad work hard to keep up with you. How do you do it when you’re barefoot?”

“Ways and means.”

I shuffled past her, but she held onto my arm to weigh me down. Well, there was clearly no way of getting her off my back. She could dip her toes in Hell first-hand if she wanted to come home with me. Thinking about it, she’d be a perfect asset to the underworld’s boss. This would motivate anyone to be a good person before their games are over. Imagine dying and being forced to listen to some maniac blab on without even so much as a pause.

“I can tell you’re from Mushroom City. People don’t know how to shut up there.”

“You are 100% right.” Her proudness angered me. “My mom always said my vocab list was longer than Santa’s nice list. That city’ll get your brain big one way or another. You know, I also can’t deny your feet would be way worse off walking there since the streets are—”

“If you’re so focused on my mucky feet, why don’t you go ahead and lick them?” I stopped on the sidewalk and put my hands on my hips. “Right now, kiss ’em.”

Minh T. put her hands over her mouth, yet I saw her cheeks puff out.

“That’s so disgusting,” she said. “I’m not licking your dirty feet, Toadette.”

After waving my foot for a few seconds, I continued onward. “You seem to want to. Every other second, it’s some comment amount my feet or how I’m barefoot. As if I don’t know.”

“Only some creepy old man would wanna lick a girl’s feet.” She grabbed my bookbag, adding gruffness to her high-pitched voice. “Come back ‘ere, lil’ missy. I ain’t had a good meal since 70-something years ago, and I’m tryin’ to suck on them there feets of yours.”

For the first time in a long while, a classmate managed to make me laugh legitimately. Not from receiving karma, either.

“You keep looking at mine, and you’ll end up being that creepy old guy.”

“I’m just trying to make you feel better. Everyone else just wants to make you sad.”

I checked out my unpainted toenails. “If someone ever got their tongue on my feet, I’d probably kill ’em.”

Minh T.’s eyes shrunk. “Wow. Straight to the point. You wouldn’t let them say they’re sorry?”

“Anybody who licks feet isn’t gonna be sorry, alright?” I turned around the block to get us to my house. “That’s just so obvious.”

When we got to my overgrown lawn, sweat dripped down my forehead. Not only would Mommy be steaming from this morning’s incident, but for me to bring someone uninvited here would mean certain punishment. Yet Minh T. wasn’t going anywhere, and this wouldn’t be the first time I’d have a date with Sir Extension Cable or Mr Hanger.

“A lot of grass, but I can’t see the flowers,” Minh T. remarked as we crossed the porch.

“They’re there. Somewhere.”

Creak!

“I’m home,” I mandatorily yelled. Then, swiftly, I grabbed Minh T. “No shoes in the house. Get them off.”

The girl stripped to her ankle socks, but it was too late. In ten flat seconds, the scent of incense was replaced by the recognisable scent of my mother. Her shadow covered both of us, and I gulped upon seeing the wavy cable.

“Who’s this?” she asked.

“I’m Minh T., ma’am.” The girl kicked her shoes to the front door. “Toadette’s new best friend.”

…That was never said.

“Sorry, but you gotta go home, honey. If Toadette can’t even clean her pigsty room, I don’t think she needs another girl in there.” She pushed me onto the staircase, causing me to fall over. “Go clean your room. We’ll talk later.”

“But she’s already here.”

“I don’t care.”

“But—”

“Are you deaf? Go upstairs!”

“Fine!” I yelled at the top of my lungs, punching the wall. My fist stung from the impact, and the dated plasterboard received a new pain mark.

“TT, I swear, if you don’t get rid of that attitude—”

“You’ll what?”

Mommy wanted to slice me so badly, I could feel the anger vibrating in the staircase. Finally, her grip on the cable tightened, and then…

SMACK!

Instantly, I grabbed my burning cheek, failing to notice the tear going down my face. One scream later, Sir Extension Cable delivered five more blows all over my body. Face, body, legs, wherever it hurt most. For such a cheap-looking invention, it always gave me heaps more pain than the hanger. Like always, the aching took its sweet time to set in, but once my leg was hit, this was no longer crying. I was sobbing. Ow!! Why wouldn’t she just stop?

“Why do I even put up with you?” She tossed the cable onto me, then stomped down the remaining stairs. Soon, baby crying came from the other side of the house. “I hope your brother grows up with some common sense.”

“Miss, please stop!”

“Look, she’s been a pain in the ass for the last few weeks. This wasn’t random. Go home, okay?”

While tears continued to spill, Minh T. stood over me. “I can help her clean her room. She gets made fun of a lot in school. That’s why she’s acting weird.”

“Honey, you don’t know her like I do. She pulls this garbage every other week.”

“Please?” Her despicable generosity showed no signs of disappearing as she wiped my face on her clean shirt. “She can’t fix up her room if she’s sad all day.”

My mom slapped her own forehead. Just as I had failed to get through Minh T. earlier, she found herself equally stumped. The girl’s determination to help someone else was second to none.

“Good luck not killing yourself trying to make her listen to a single word,” she sighed before attending to the baby’s whines.

“You okay?” Minh T. embraced me in a suffocatingly tight hug. When was the last time my mom hugged, kissed or expressed love physically in any way? I burst into more tears trying to recall that moment.

My classmate kept telling me everything would be fine, even after visiting my monstrous room.

“You’re not the only girl whose room is dirty. I have grown-up cousins, and there’s always candy and stuff on the floors. Banana peels, Princess Peach dolls, those cigarette thingies—”

“And do they get hit?” I dabbed my eyes.

“I’ve never been hit.” She looked down. “Sorry, I don’t know what to say.”

I threw my bookbag on the ground. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t have to tell her you’d clean my room, though. Really.”

“But I want to,” she said with a touching smile. “The more you tell me not to help, the more I’m gonna.”

A major task lay ahead of us. In addition to the dirty clothes, there were cups of mouldy orange juice from weeks ago. My mattress had no cover since the sheet had long been at the bottom of the filthy laundry. As if this wasn’t awful enough, there was enough dust to stuff a Cobrat. And the less said about my closet floor, the better. Yet Minh T. looked at all of this and rolled up her incredibly short sleeves. Somehow, through my sniffling, I managed to burp out a little chuckle.

The big lump in my throat made swallowing a challenge. After this gulp, I asked her one thing. “When we’re done, could you just teach me a bit of that reflex thing?”

“No problem. And I won’t even touch your feet to explain it.”

I hugged her again. “Thanks.”

And here I was in the present, giving myself a foot massage in our room while Minh T. stayed somewhere else within the hotel. As the thought of our first encounter flowed back into my mind, some of her techniques reintroduced themselves, such as stretching the toes back and pinching the big one to relieve head pain. Sometimes, I thought reflexology was nonsense. It honestly sounded like a scam the older I got. But it at least felt like it was doing something, and it cost nothing.

I’d already reported to Her Highness, and she told us to stand guard tomorrow. In other words, we’d likely have another mission. But that’d have to coincide with my eventual reintroduction to my mother and brother.

“Dumb Minh,” I muttered, rubbing extra lotion into my toes. “What stress were you ever under? You lived a perfect life. You had a dad, your parents loved you, you were never hit, you were happy in whatever city you lived in, you had friends, you had everything.”

In fact, she wasn’t even wholly loyal. She’d gone behind my back and was clearly interacting with my family for some time after I vanished from Mushroom City. Just…why? Why would she do something that stupid? Did she tell them I was back in Toad Town? That was the one thing I made her promise not to do. She cast promises on me like they were unlimited, but I rarely put heavy weight on her shoulders. And yet she betrayed me in this instance.

How else would she have recognised DT? A little boy doesn’t grow into a teenager and look the same. Furthermore, he certainly didn’t know her language when I knew him. That’d be something he’d pick up exclusively in Mushroom City.

Where was the Minh who would happily help me in my time of need?

In a flurry, I kicked the lotion across the room. “They should think I’m far away, not in a town near Mushroom City! I could’ve been taken from Toad Town at any point!”

“Yet you weren’t.”

I yelped, turning to see Minh close the door. She folded her arms, and her regular voice was replaced with her slower one—the voice when things weren’t allowed to have a bit of levity. Raw seriousness.

“I did visit your mom and Dane T. sometime after your escape. But don’t you think you would’ve been back in Mushroom City during high school if I gave up the game?”

Before I could respond, she put her hand up.

“I love you, Toadette. More than you care to know. But you’re one of the worst sisters I’ve ever met.”

I could feel my heart in my stomach. “I love him.”

“Do you? I don’t remember you being in the boy’s life for the past six or whatever years.” Her lip quivered, and she closed the distance between us. “Don’t tell me you were just afraid of going home. Because after senior year, you had time to make amends. You were an adult. Your mom couldn’t force you to live under her roof, and Dane T. wouldn’t need to spend the rest of his life alone, thinking his big sis died. Also thinking he had a hand in her want to escape. Jeez, Toadette, just ’cause you forget about other people and the consequences of your actions doesn’t mean they poof away.”

“Died?”

She groaned. “Yet I’m the stupid one. Of course, he thinks you’re dead. Same goes for your mom, probably the rest of your extended family. I’m very curious to know what you thought they believed.”

No, that couldn’t be true. They believed I was in another place, living my own life. They had to. I mentioned so in the note I left them. Minh’s words were just words, nothing more than that. She had no proof that they thought I was rotting away.

“Liar!” I yelled. “You’re just mad about something and want me to feel like garbage. Just because it comes out your mouth doesn’t mean it’s true! He knows I’m alive—”

“What do I have to be mad about, Toadette?”

“You tell me.”

She tapped her foot slowly. “And how could anyone here possibly think you’re alive?”

“Oh my gosh, don’t ask me how. I don’t wanna think about that.”

“Because you told yourself they’re perfectly fine, that’s how. You wanted that perfect fantasy where you ran away from home, and everything went well like some fairytale.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“And I know you know I’ve loved you since I knew you, so you know I’m not angry at you for anything small. I’m mad that you wanna pretend reality’s completely different.”

I shook my head. “I don’t.”

Minh sighed. “Just ’cause it comes out your mouth doesn’t mean it’s true.”

Chapter Text

Was I supposed to tell her she was right? Tell her exactly what she wanted? What she said wasn’t making sense. I mean, nobody seriously believed I’d died years ago. That’d be such a farfetched outcome to reach.

On that day, I ran from the apartment, left Mushroom City in a flash, hitchhiked to Toad Town, and the rest was history. Other than not knowing my precise location, there was no reason to think I was rotting away somewhere. If anything, they should’ve accepted that I’d been missing or found a life of luxury far away from them.

“Nothing to say, huh?” Minh waited for words that never came. After tapping her foot for an eternity, she finally gave me some breathing room. “I’m gonna head back into the city. In the meantime, please think about the lies you’ve been telling yourself all this time.”

Now alone, I wiped the streaks from my eyes. I crawled back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling as time passed.

How fortunate that Minh couldn’t see my face. Her composure would crack upon seeing my expression of sadness slowly warp into a crooked smirk. And the more my crying switched to giggling, the redder she’d become.

If DT had to suffer for the past half decade, perhaps it was worth it for my mom to feel the cosmic pain she’d been owed for a lifetime. That tyrant didn’t deserve the knowledge that her precious daughter was happily alive, on a slow path to success in Toad Town. All those years of talking down to me, telling me I’d never make anything of myself… That the only thing I’d be good for was making money with my “horrifyingly anorexic” body on the streets, and even then, only if a man was bidding for the lowest price.

Hehehe. This was one timeline even a crystal ball couldn’t predict, let alone my tramp of a mother. Wait until she learns I’ve gone from sleeping in poverty to living in Princess Peach’s castle.

“Exactly what you deserve.”

Later that night, after I’d already waltzed around the hotel, showered and grabbed something to eat downstairs, the door swung open. Minh’s dark silhouette slumped in. Between her wobbly legs and her lack of balance, I’d say she had something to drink. Though I gave her a simple wave, she continued to slowly inch forward like a zombie. And as much as I tried to stay silent, she ended up blocking the image far too many times. Especially since she was going back and forth without any direction.

“Are you drunk?”

“NO! Not drunk. Not drunk. I’m not drunk. I’m just suuuuuper duper tired.” Her long drawl answered that question. Not to mention, she smelt like she’d emerged from some trashy club. I could trace ten different alcohol products from her breath alone. She then pulled up her sagging pants before stumbling backwards onto the floor.

It’d have been funny if it wasn’t so embarrassing. Speaking of which…

“Sorry for calling you a bitch earlier.” Saying that was a blow to my pride, but sleeping next to her after an attack like that made me so uncomfortable. “I didn’t mean it.”

She put up her palm. “It’s okay, biiiiiitch. I know you’re just… So sudden for the both of us.”

Yep, that was the drink talking. I now had to carry her to the bathroom to make sure she didn’t puke on the floors or hit her head in the shower. While helping Minh to undress, she made one more comment.

“You having second thoughts ‘bout—”

“No.” I put my head down. “Thursday. That’s final.”

— WEDNESDAY: 6 days before the festival —

“Wake up, Miss Toadette! It’s an emergency! You gotta wake up!”

Oh boy, what emergency could it possibly be? Did Peach need us to steal expensive nail polish to make herself more elegant? Nah, maybe we were gonna climb to the coldest tip of Shiver Mountain to find her a shiny crystal for this festival. And if she had any degree of restraint, she’d have us licking the scum off her feet after traversing Mushroom City barefoot.

Penelope’s rushed wake-up call left me at a loss for what clothes to wear. Hmm… Perhaps a mix of something casual yet formal was in order. Let’s see… Ah! That old vest I had. I could put it over a pink T-shirt and throw in some blacker jeans. As for the footwear, that was a tougher pick. For boosted attack power, I’d need my flats. For dominant speed, my sneakers would serve me well. And for sheer comfort at the cost of weaker stats, I’d need either the flip-flops or slides.

“Tell me what you think,” I said to Minh, who applied a large amount of lip balm.

“Hey, nothing’s stopping you from tossing an extra pair in my bag.” She spun around. “Since I’m trying to see them toes today, go with your flip-flops. And your other shoes can remain on standby should the need arise.”

Very well. Fingers crossed that her bag wouldn’t get stolen by one of the various thieves in this dirty city.

After puckering her lips, she slung her bag over her shoulders. “I’d rather ditch my shoes today, but I know that’s gonna bother you, so let me grab my flip-flops.”

“I’m not your mom,” I chuckled, pushing her forward. “Dress scantily if you want.”

She lit up. So did I, knowing I’d get an unobstructed view of her pretty soles. I hadn’t even eaten breakfast yet, and those creamy beauties already had my mouth watering. Even watching Minh do something so simple as walking across the room made me jittery. Seriously, how I wished I could’ve given her big toe a morning kiss.

Even her clothing this morning… It was just an orange crop with some very short shorts, but seeing so much of her legs and arms was amazing. It was as if she had nothing to hide.

But if I let my horniness get out of control, this mission would never get completed.

When we dropped to the lobby, Penelope greeted us. A very quick encounter since she immediately hurried us to a blue door. On the other side came the screaming of a madwoman.

“Absolutely unacceptable! I had given you one simple task, and now all our plans just went up in smoke! Do you grasp what it is you’ve done?”

“I have no excuse, Your Highness.”

Captain Toad? Well, Minh had said he was a magnet for trouble, so what did he screw up this time? As we approached the royal and captain, Peach mirrored an erupting volcano. Her normally tranquil face disappeared, replaced with one reserved for the craziest of comic book villains. With teeth gritted, one eye open as the other twitched, and a blood-red tint to top off the effect. But what made me smile in fiction shook me in real life. Peach had several other Toads in the room as well, making her outrage rather shocking.

“Is everything okay, Your Highness?”

She took a deep breath, shutting her eyes as she put her hands up. “I don’t know, Toadette. Captain Toad?”

The captain couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact with me. He didn’t even give my chest a glance.

“I was supposed to activate the microphones in those coins you delivered.” He held up a simplistic remote control with two buttons, red and green. “I guess the milk you brought me made me forget I hadn’t yet activated them.”

Now my tits trembled. “So, they’re not recording anything right now?”

With a shake of the head, the room’s chatter silenced.

“But we already delivered them!” Minh shrieked. “What’s gonna happen to the Star Festival?”

“Not to worry. It’s a good thing we have our pink-capped heroine. Isn’t that right, Toadette?” Peach tugged on my braid like a toy.

“Huh?”

She snatched the remote from Captain Toad and bestowed it upon me with enough force to puncture my palm. “Get within a metre of those coins to enable their microphones with the green button. You can hit it more than once if you’re unsure whether they’re activated. Understood, dear?”

“We can’t.”

She blinked twice. “Come again?”

“Your Highness, you told us to deliver them, and we did exactly that. They’re already in the Scapellis’ possession, so unless you want us captured, we can’t get near that case.” I gulped. “You’re giving us another mission that you should be giving to the guy standing next to us—the guy who messed this all up to begin with.”

Peach took a few seconds to react. What? Was she stunned I had some courage to speak some logic? Forgive me for wanting myself and Minh to have some relaxation under all this stressful week.

The pale princess sighed, her dress folding as she took a seat. “I see. Well, it seems we’ll have to cancel the Star Festival if we can’t stop this band of misfits.”

“No!” Minh pushed me out the way. “You can’t, Your Highness! It’s tradition!”

“I know. I’m so sorry. You and everyone else want to celebrate it, myself included. We could create a quick poll, and I’m certain the people will force us to continue it. But we’ll have to accept a dire death toll in the thousands, Minh, possibly more.” She wiped her face. “I wish it wasn’t this way, Minh T. But unfortunately, this task is too big for a Toad to handle.”

The more she spoke with that passive-aggressive attitude, the more I wanted to rip out her vocal cords. All eyes in the room now locked onto me, including those of some senior Toads. Why was I, Toadette, the chosen one for all of these stupid tasks? How many times have I asked that by now?

“I can take a damn hint!” In a rush of adrenaline, I grabbed Minh and marched out of the small room. “And I don’t wanna hear a word from any of you until tomorrow!”

Outside, an innocent streetlamp received the brunt of my built-up rage. After the hundredth strike in which my knuckles cracked, I finally walked back to Minh.

She smirked. “So, you finished or you done?”

“Bad thing after bad thing in this place,” I groaned, rubbing my hand. “Not only do we not know where to look for this case, but we’re gonna be nipping the balls of death the whole time.”

“That Ace cutie said she’d ship it in a day, right? There’s time.”

“And where she is, the boy’s likely there, too.”

She put her hands behind her back, bouncing from side to side. “Well?”

With a heavy sigh, I nodded. “Gotta get it over with sooner or later.”

We now retraced the path to the building. Any time Minh asked me how I felt, I shut her out. Between my upset stomach and the green hue in my cheeks, I risked fainting at any moment. But I wasn’t some coward. I made my messy bed, and now I had to lie in it. Admitting to him that I’d been hiding all this time somehow wasn’t my greatest fear. Despite it being a pretty big secret, one more worry tugged on me during this entire run.

“Toadette!”

Minh yanked me onto the sidewalk. If not for hearing a blaring bus zoom past us, I would’ve complained about the severe whiplash. Hehe, guess I still wasn’t familiar enough with the city to deactivate my brain when walking. “My bad.”

Here we were again. Ace yelled when we burst through the door, visibly confused as to why Minh dropped to her knees and blabbed incoherently. Meanwhile, I leaned on the desk, explaining the situation in the most direct way possible so she couldn’t pull a fast one.

“Sorry, it got sent off a while ago. The Toad’s taking it up there.”

“He’s going to the Scapellis right now?” I leaned to the point that my back curved like a pool noodle. “Where?”

“I don’t know—”

“Don’t mess with us! You know something. We need that package.”

Ace threw her hands up. “The drop-off spot isn’t always the same. You think I’m lying?”

Think, Toadette. Escalating the situation could make her less cooperative. In fact, that she already sent it off meant she was true to her word yesterday. So…

“Give us a guess.”

“Melody Motorway or Piranha Plant Pipeway are the best guesses I got. The only ones he mentioned.”

Minh’s thumbs suddenly moved at lightning speeds on her phone. “That might work.”

“What are you talking about?” I looked over her shoulders.

“After your situation, your mom had Dane T. chipped like a pet. Not the most premium thing since we don’t get precise coordinates, but I can check if he’s near one place or the other.”

Wow. Nice to know that my mom cared so much about HIM. Why hadn’t I been chipped as a kid?

“Ah-ha! Right along the edge, that’s Piranha Plant Slide.”

“Wait. She just said ‘pipeway’. Which is it?”

They looked at me. “Both.”

Minh tucked her phone away. “You’d be surprised how many places here got two names. Born in the southern tip, it’ll always be the P.P. Slide area for me.”

“They sap the fun out of every name,” Ace said. “We got Melody Motorway, and they have Music Park.”

“You know what they say. Keep it simple, stupid.” The Toad grabbed my hand. “Since he’s already in that area, a taxi’s sounding good to me. We gotta cut him off down there!”

Ace leaned back. “Fast runner. I’d call him, but they don’t let him bring his phone on these trips.”

“You did enough.” I waved to the orange-haired human, sprinting out the door with Minh. “Thank you!”

So, my little brother was competing with me in being the fastest of this family? What a twist. When we were young, he’d run around like any other kid, but he was an indoors type of child. Bugs terrified him, he declared the Sun his archnemesis, and soccer scared the daylights out of him. But now the little boy—actually, the 13-year-old boy—could run deliveries over this maze of a city? Impressive, DT.

“Taxi!”

The yellow vehicle screeched onto the sidewalk, the back bouncing into the air before the loose doors flew open. Hesitantly, I pushed my way inside, and Minh followed. If this driver drove like a maniac this time…

“P.P. Slide, the water system,” Minh said. “Southern end as fast as you can.”

“Sure thing, sister.”

Off we went! And immediately, this man was ten times a worse driver than the last fool. The ride was so bumpy that I flew into the back of the driver’s seat within the first three seconds. His long, sharp drift around a corner was what firmly forced me to use a seatbelt. To Minh, my struggle to stay in the car was a comedy act. But given a couple of minutes, surprises had disappeared, and I’d numbed myself to the intense whiplash of the turns. Maybe we’d reach the place in one piece.

This mirrored my trip with Penelope in another way. For the life of me, I couldn’t take my eyes off of Minh’s feet. And this time was worse because whereas Penelope sat like any ordinary child, Minh had stretched her legs across the seat.

Her dusty heels were a centimetre away from my right thigh.

No flip-flops meant I was obliged to look. In the beginning, it wasn’t too bad. I gave her peeks here and there. But after a little bit, my eyes glued themselves to her meaty toes. Gosh, what I wouldn’t give to tickle them right now. Even if they were lightly dirty from the streets, I might’ve even wanted to suck on them. At least the pinkie toe, something smaller.

Oh! They started to wiggle! Ah…

“This bothering you?” Minh asked. “Or you just interested? You’re looking at me like I’m a snack.”

I turned my head to the window. “Nothing.”

Very poor choice of words. Minh took this as an invitation to rub her feet on my thigh purposefully.

Jeez, even if I knew deep down that she was too aloof to catch on, she acted like she’d already learnt I liked her feet. The way she moved her toes ever so slowly, crossing her feet at the ankles… One thing about her: she sure knew how to make her feet hypnotising.

Every time I realise I’m thinking this, I want a kick to the back of my head.

See? Even after looking out the window, I still turned back to check on her feet. Is this something that everyone with a fetish goes through? Starting out being indifferent to the thing, then being unable to resist its charms? It was like feet were tobacco, and I’d gotten addicted all because I took one smoke like an idiot.

Now my vision darted between Minh’s toes and her face. Without question, she was looking right at me. It wasn’t accidental. Every time I looked up, her eyes were crinkled as her smile took up her face.

If I didn’t say something, she’d interrogate me with her own intrusive, pervy questions.

“Am I the weird one for hating getting my feet dirty?”

She curled her toes tightly, giving me another sweet glimpse of her blue nails. “No, you’re not the only one who hates it. You should consider me the weird one for loving dirt on my feet. Or everyone’s feet, I guess.”

“It’s just… If you think feet are this very beautiful body part, why would you care about the outside dirt sticking to them? Especially in relation to your tongue. That… Does it not make you feel nasty?”

I had her snickering, and she finally removed her feet from my leg. Now she marvelled at the bottom of her left foot, rubbing a finger from the toes to the heel. It was like she touched a dusty TV, as her finger returned covered in dust and maybe some concrete.

“You know, Toadette, I never thought about that.” She undid her seatbelt to sit right next to me, whispering as her hand grasped mine. “But if I had to take a crack at answering, it’s because I don’t care about the filth’s origins. It touched the feet, so it’s automatically yummy foot grime. Delicious, sometimes crunchy, sometimes creamy, sometimes slimy ‘n’ gooey… Mmm…”

“Don’t start getting off in the car,” I begged.

She licked her lips, her face but an inch apart from mine. “Hard ask. Even if dirt is from an unclean house, I’m down for licking it ALL up as long as it’s from someone’s amazing feet. Soil, grass blades, dust, fallen food crumbs, a squished ant, paper, the lovely toe jam that puts so much fear in your heart—they’re welcome in my body. The dirtier, the better.”

Credit to Minh: she was the only freak able to make foot grime sound remotely appetising so far just because of how she spoke. However, no, I would refuse 90% of what she listed. If I didn’t outright refuse it, my body would without fail. Dust, fallen food crumbs and maybe the most minimal of toe jam would be tolerable. Not good. Tolerable.

Despite shivering from her description, this tingling in my body provoked me to not drop the subject. I tightened my sweaty grip on her hand, leaning in closer.

My heart was racing out of my chest. “So, I should get my feet dirtier so they’re tastier for you?”

She giggled, almost pushing her lips against my face. “Yep. I love how you smell, so a stink touch is a bonus, Toadette.”

I didn’t have to look at myself in the taxi’s mirrors to tell I was blushing. The heat and lightness were so intense in my face that I instinctively backed up from Minh. Taking a few breaths, I simply stared at the tops of my own feet. Though the flip-flops had kept the bottoms mostly clean, I now visualised having Minh under them. The girl would slide her tongue across my soles, moaning… Moaning… Exactly what I was wanting to hear her do.

With a gasp, I released myself from the seat’s grasp and spun to have my back against the door. My right foot greeted Minh with a tap on her thigh and a peck on the lips.

Instantly, I shoved my toes in her mouth! Yeah, right in the back of the taxi as the world zoomed past us. And let me say, her mouth was a cave full of water. So much saliva instantly splashed between my toes that I thought I’d put them in a cup. Her brown eyes widened as she observed the way I panted, wiggling these skinny little piggies in her mouth.

“Here we are!” Before we could react, the taxi came to an immediate halt. Minh bit my toes for a second as I fell onto the floor of the car, my foot exiting her mouth. The taxi driver looked back at us, an eyebrow raised. “Hey, you gotta keep those seatbelts on, sisters. You could’ve been flying through the windows like birds.”

“Sorry…” I handed him his coins and a little extra just for showing some concern. Once we stepped onto the concrete ground, he drove out of sight with festive radio music loudly blaring. Glad he didn’t play that while driving us.

Despite hearing commotion in the streets, that noise clearly came from a far distance. We stood in a concrete field that had nothing but flatness and piles of construction materials. Looked like they hadn’t been messing with it for a while.

“Alright, back to our task before you make my panties wet.” Minh spent the better half of five minutes fiddling with one of the many grates on the ground, attempting to loosen it so we could infiltrate this place. All the while, her soles now got whiter from the powder.

“So, what exactly is this Piranha Plant Slide?” I asked, crouching directly behind her so I could get a faint sniff of her chunky heels. Hmm…

Sniff!

THAT was nice. Lightly dirty or not, they smelt like raw Minh. No sweatiness, no yuckiness, just a pure gardener Toad in all her essence.

“The city’s got a bunch of water systems. This here’s one of them, mainly linked to the west side. You know, helps with toilets, sinks, and some pipes even transfer water to other cities in case of emergencies.”

“Ah, dependent on this place, I see.”

Sniff, sniff…

“One of the richest places in the Mushroom Kingdom, so you bet they are.” Just as she finished her sentence, creaking metal told me to stop inhaling her feet. “When Toad Town gets hit with a bad hurricane like last year, how do you think we still get a little water?”

“Always thought it was from the castle.”

“I think the castle’s water system just supplies the castle. I mean, they gotta make sure Her Highness is doing okay.”

I rolled my eyes. “Of course.”

I approached the grate after she descended. Once inside, Minh closed it and surveyed the area. Well, there wasn’t much to look at. Aside from having a dark blue tint, one could easily mistake this for the sewers back home. In fact, one little extra element put this place a step below those other sewers.

“Please don’t tell me we’re stepping in sewer water.” I tried so hard to ignore the cold water at my ankles, but the longer I stood in it, the bigger of an ask it became.

“We’re totally not stepping in sewer water, Toadette.”

“Why must this be?” I hoped my voice echoed through this entire brick tunnel. “The princess is trying my last nerve!”

“You’re fine.” Minh skipped onto a drier piece of land, exiting the water current. She then pointed to a sign. “This is the ocean water system. The water that’s directly from the sea, about to get filtered for refrigeration and all that jazz.”

“Oh, good. Now I just have to worry about Cheep Cheep piss.”

“Think positively. Least we won’t be dealing with any Bloopers down here. And you won’t have a princess turning into a frozen statue. And mira eso, my feet are getting a decent cleaning from the ocean’s blanket.”

“True.”

So, how exactly were we gonna locate DT? Although this place had some illumination, it practically spanned the whole height of the city when viewing it on a map.

Minh cupped her mouth. “Dane T., show yourself! You’re in big trouble, mister!”

“I don’t think that’s gonna—”

“You’re gonna force me to tell your mom who you’re working for!”

Still no answer. After walking into a wider room, Minh and I froze. There was a giant Piranha Plant resting in the middle of this area, on a platform where the water forked and later joined. Carefully, very carefully, we tiptoed past the eyeless creature. Minh had the luxury of being barefoot, so she wasn’t squeaking with each step she made. As docile as feral Piranha Plants were when you walked far from them, creeping near their precious pipes turned them into brain-guzzling monsters.

“So, Piranha Plants actually live here. It’s not just a name.”

“Okay, so I’ve never been down here before,” Minh said, pointing to another giant plant. “We just say P.P. Slide to reference the area of the city, so this is news to me, too.”

While we shuffled past this second sleeping beast, I felt Minh’s toes tickling the back of my heels. It was like when a shopping cart was always right behind you in a shop. Only this time, I wasn’t annoyed. Even with a Piranha Plant barely behind us, feeling her toes was nice. 

“AAH!” Minh tightened her arms around my waist.

“We just walked past it!”

WHOOSH!

…Apparently not. A vine around her ankle lifted Minh into the air as if she was on a trampoline. For a second, she dragged me with her. If only she could hold on longer, as the fall onto the ground stunned my spine. Once slammed against the ceiling, she disappeared down the corridor. All I heard was screaming as I got off my butt.

“Toadette! Don’t leave me!”

“Nothing can go easy for us, huh?” I gave chase immediately. “Keep yelling!”

Not like she needed a reminder. If she stopped making noise, I’d lose her in this dark and samey labyrinth. Brr… The deeper we travelled into this system, the chillier the water became. I’d forgotten just how unforgivingly cold ocean water could be. My now-soggy flip-flops wouldn’t protect my feet from the current, and my other shoes were being whisked along with my best friend.

“OW!” And I smacked fast-first into the wet, blue wall because of the dimness in this dank underground.

“Toadette!”

“Cut me a break!” I now cradled my two pink babies in my arms. “I’m coming!”

The flowing water helped my bare feet to accelerate. Following the shrieks of Minh, I drifted around a corner, the ball of my foot giving me the ability to sharply pivot. And room after room, the wind against my face got more powerful.

At last, the vine was coming to its end. Minh dangled from the high ceiling, dizzy as if a Magikoopa had cast a spell on her. Poor girl.

“I didn’t even do nothing,” she cried.

THUD!

The vine shrivelled away past a little grate where water exited, leaving Minh drenched in cold water. But when I took a step forward, the ground started to shake. Not only that, but you could hear steel grinding against steel. It created a very sharp noise. And upon looking back, I gasped louder than usual.

A gate door was closing! This had no holes, either. It was nothing but a slab of metal. And on the other end of this room, the same thing!

“We gotta go!” I pulled Minh by her cap, dropping my shoes. Those few seconds I took to put them on were critical. Once ready, we raced to the descending barrier. “Oh-no!”

It closed! …The other one! If we could get there, there was a chance…

I pivoted on the ball of my foot, making a leap for the other door. Yet by the time my fingers could grasp it, it was far too low for even a shrunken me to pass through.

Minh clenched her teeth. “We’re trapped?”

“I know!”

Look around, Toadette. Don’t give up right away. There could be something useful. Well, the walls were no different from the other rooms. There were a few blocks hovering in the air, but they looked to be the empty variety. And on top of the ceiling, there was a long pipe that disappeared into one of those small coves. So…

“Oh my— Toadette, look down at your feet!”

No need to look. I could already feel the iciness rising. The water was now making a path for my knees, getting higher and higher. But just how high was it going to go?

“I take it you don’t have the drill in your bag, do you?”

Minh shook her head. “I can’t get that through an airport! Are you crazy?”

“I’m desperate! I’m freezing! We’re gonna die if we don’t think of something, so let’s put our stupid heads together!”

Minh paced around the room, her speed gradually slowing as the water successfully soaked our entire legs. It pumped in at a tremendous rate through the little grates on the floor, to the point where I needed to remove my shoes. AGAIN! Off, on, off, on. Could I pick one and stick with it?

“Someone’s doing this on purpose,” I said, looking around. “I’ll be stunned if it’s a coincidence.”

At least there were yellow lightbulbs to illuminate the area, otherwise we’d be unable to even examine the place.

My eyes widened. “Green pipes are the weakest.”

“And?”

With those floating blocks being so close to a pipe and a light—the light was long, rectangular, and very heavy from the looks of it—I began to giggle. A bit too much for Minh’s comfort, considering she started to back up. But I reeled her back in and leapt onto the empty brick blocks.

“We’re gonna bang this pipe open with the light!”

“It’s bolted in!”

“No, look! You see how it’s attached to the pipe and not the actual wall? I’m betting everything that it’s tape or some very strong glue. Cheap, battery-powered lamp.”

Our wet bodies shuddered, but now we beamed brighter than ever. Let’s fuck this pipe up!

Chapter Text

So, which one of us was going to rip the light off this green tube? I was barely taller than Minh by an inch, possessed better body strength, had stronger endurance…

Okay, as long as she promised that she wouldn’t let me fall into the water, it’d only be a matter of time before our dire situation ended. I balanced on the end of the block, reaching for that wide light. All the while, I took note of how high this water had risen. If we were on the floor, it’d now have reached our hips.

“Don’t even think of letting go,” I screamed above the rushing water.

“I won’t.” Her grip around my hips tightened. “Trust me, I’m too busy studying your soles to let you fall.”

“Well, thank you for the flattering affection.”

No surprise that she was staring at them again. After all, I was leaning on one foot to secure this giant lamp, causing my other foot to hover backwards in the air. So, right near her side, five soaked toes were there to tease her. Yuck, they were all wrinkly and crinkly, too. But if I knew anything about Minh, she could see my feet cut off and still find them attractive.

I simply laughed at her gushy comments. “You still think they’re cute even when they look old and wrinkly?”

“Everyone’s got wrinkles, Toadette. Even a baby if they scrunch hard enough.” She traced her finger from my heel to my toes as if she was connecting the dots on my foot. Then, out of nowhere, I felt a section on my heel. Once that familiar, slimy movement manifested, my legs started to shiver.

“AHAHAHAHA!” Not only were my legs in a wobbly state but so were my arms. They vibrated until the light slid from my grasp. “Minh!”

SPLASH!

Cold. Cold! Cold!!The pressure of the incoming water kept me submerged for what felt like forever. As soon as I reached the surface, my teeth chattered without stopping. So, was this what it was like to be Daisy in Toad Town Tunnels? If my feet were only mildly chilly before, they were now frozen pops.

“My bad!” Minh stretched her hand out. “I’m sorry!”

Coughing out bitterly salty water, I pulled myself onto the blocks with her assistance. Minh’s apologies came out as quickly as the water rose. But even in a freezing state, I resumed my previous position. My hands clung to the light like a parasite, and I diligently tugged on it.

“Your little kiss was cute,” I said with a groan, “but the fact I was fully underwater means we’ve got to hurry this up.”

“Right!”

Let’s go, you stupid lamp. Tear off… I’d tighten my muscles as much as needed to get this thing to detach from this cursed pipe! Heck, it gave my toes a nice workout since they curled each and every time my arms tensed. Maybe I’d level my toe power up with enough pressure.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip… SNAP!

Minh caught me in my staggering state. Wow, impressive that she didn’t send us both falling off these blocks. That the light remained activated was even more proof that this contraption was powered by batteries. This whole city was run by cheapskates. At least their petty spending laid out a path to our survival.

Using all my might, I swung at the lime-green pipe. It dented, putting a grin on my face. With another hit, I saw the water begin to spill out. And then again, and again, and again! It was like being a fighter in that Glitz Pit and using a chair to knock out the opponent. Though it always feels like cheating, you know it’s so satisfying.

As soon as the icy liquid bit at my soles, my speed doubled. Behind me, Minh squealed like a dog, dancing up and down to rid herself of the low temperature.

“And some ask why I hate cold showers!”

Now that the water was at our ankles, we probably had a minute, maybe two, to get out of here. With a final swing of the light to the pipe, I split off a large chunk.

And… Oh my gosh, even more water spilt out. Good job, Toadette. Now our situation had us in a corner! Our only chance was going through the busted section that no longer received water.

“This’ll have to do!” I hopped into the broken tube, awkwardly contorting my body just to not bounce off the wall. My shoulders barely squeezed in this one; the space was so small that my gut couldn’t expand enough to breathe. But one should never underestimate the suction power of a warp pipe. “See you on the other side!”

WHOOSH!

There I went! The frosty pipe carried me forward. I turned two sharp corners, and yes, it hurt like hell. But all pipes ended somewhere. Where would this take—

THUD!

Worst. Pipe. Experience. EVER! I’d never had one knock me out before. And this one had to nerve to drop me about 50 metres. Ouch. Well, let’s see… How much time had passed? The area was so dark that it felt like we were at the bottom of the ocean. The icy atmosphere made me more suspicious.

“Minh?” All around me, I felt little ropes wrapped around my limbs.

“My butt itches…”

“Did NOT need to know that.” At least I knew we hadn’t been separated. “I take it you can’t move either?”

She sighed. “These vines are choking my body.”

Vines? Of course, we were in Piranha Plant Slide. Dang. Never did it occur to me that we might’ve entered a pipe directly leading us to a party of these vicious plants. Just how many surrounded us right now? Around us, I heard what sounded like slithering. It was slow but not alone. So, safe to assume that there were multiple enemies in our vicinity. And aside from that, the sounds of sloshing water came through in a very muffled fashion. My guess about us being at the bottom of the ocean may have been a stretch, but we had to be at the bottom of this water system.

Minh and I weren’t too far from one another. Our feet were intertwined. I could feel one of her wider feet sandwiched between my two longer feet. As neat as it was to feel my best friend like this, these were more than unideal circumstances. But at least we could communicate.

“Is biting the vines useful?” I tried to pull my wrist out of this trap.

“Poison! I can’t see, so they could be a type with more venom than we Toads can handle. Don’t risk it.”

“Why not? Then you can suck all the poison out my feet like your buddy did to you.”

She giggled, albeit uncomfortably. “Oh. So, you know all ‘bout that, huh?”

As I went to answer, I felt something across my right sole. Something far too warm in this cold environment. Could it be?

…Yep. There it was! That was unquestionably a tongue. And considering that it covered the entire bottom of my foot—from my heel to my toes, not missing a beat—it came from a Piranha Plant. These bastards didn’t need light to see like we Toads. No, they were like Swoopers, able to navigate even the blackest rooms with a sense of smell or touch. And wouldn’t you know it, today was a day where my feet smelt non-clean.

Even with flip-flops, the ocean water didn’t exactly smell like roses. It smelt like stinky fish. When mixed with my natural foot smell, something that shouldn’t grab one’s attention, anyone with a high sense of smell could pinpoint me in an instant. And that was what this Piranha Plant did as it slurped away at my feet.

There was severe confusion in Minh’s voice. “Why are you laughing?”

“T-T-T-T-Tick… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! TICK! AHAHAHA! TICKLES!”

Having my feet soaked in all this cold water should’ve numbed their sensitivity. But perhaps the constant exiting and re-entering of the water caused them to retain ticklishness. No, this was amplified as a trail of sizzling saliva started to coat them boat.

“Toadette! Answer my ques— AAAH! Hahahaha!” And like that, Minh joined in being a victim of tickling torture. Welcome to the eleventh circle of Hell. Our feet squirmed against each other as more than one tongue began to skate across them. While mucous-like saliva spread across my wrinkled soles, a long tongue stretched across the tops of both our feet. And when wrapping around to the side of my right foot, I screamed like someone had jammed a knife into me. No, imagine someone tickling you with a pen, and they poke it into the most sensitive, delicate spot on your sole.

“No! No!!” Tears rained as the tongues forced themselves between my toes. Because they were so massive, they spread my digits wider than I’d ever felt before. But unfortunately, the slight pain didn’t put an end to the tickling. It was a million times more effective when something slimy hit that soft spot normally protected by my toes. These ten babies wanted to jump off my feet so badly.

For minutes, we received the most ticklish pedicure in the world. Minh would constantly scream my name, shrieking if the area under her toes was ever touched.

“Quit ticklin’ my toes!”

Suddenly, both my hands got wetter than usual. The pressure once more pointed to the source: two Piranha Plants, each tackling one of my five-fingered parts. It wasn’t as ticklish, but I nevertheless jolted as they swirled between my fingers.

“Not my armpits! No!” Poor Minh didn’t receive even a second of relief. In addition to the assault on her toes, the Piranha Plants directed their tongues to her sweaty armpits. Wearing that crop top didn’t pan out so well for the girl.

 Wait. That was it! They must’ve been attracted to our sweat! It’d explain why they targeted our feet first, then my hands and her armpits.

They were warming us up for their dinner.

More accurately, this was the standard procedure for a Piranha Plant before consuming its meal. If someone set a delicious stuffed-crust cheese pizza before you, would you immediately gobble it up? Maybe, but some would rather let the pizza marinate in their mouth for minutes before finally swallowing. And the way the Piranha Plants licked us was reminiscent of this process.

But how could we deal with this? Could we even?

“Try to kick at them!” I yelled between laughs. Despite my attempts to deal any damage, my feet were too rigidly locked to move more than a couple of centimetres. And vines kept my legs from fidgeting a whole lot.

“Help!” Minh’s strategy took a different turn. “Someone help us! Hahahaha! We’re trapped!”

But it was just like I told her when the plant grabbed her earlier. As long as a noise was made, there was a chance someone down here could track us. And so, I followed her example.

“PLEASE! Our feet are getting way too numb with Piranha Plant juice! Save us!”

All we heard in return were the mischievous snickers of the red and white monsters. No! It couldn’t end this way! Minh and I continued to scream, and fortunately, the idiots’ brains weren’t quite up to snuff. If there was water flowing through those roots, they’d have known that tickling us only increased our ability to yell tenfold, as we didn’t give a damn how strained our throats became. Whether laughing or crying, we had the volume of shrieking girls in a boy band concert.

But the longer this gel rested on me, the more rapidly my eyes blinked. And my long cry for help switched into a loud yawn.

“I’m so tired.”

“No! You will not go to sleep on me, Toadette! I can’t promise to wake you up if you do!”

“I’ll try.”

Just like how that M. Bush had gotten the best of Minh, these Piranhas’ saliva was getting the best of me. If only Toads had the ability to be immune to any poisonous substance in the world. The race would be invincible. Well, being resistant to 90% of toxins that would send a human or Goomba in depressing agony was better than nothing.

This licking on my hands and feet was so relaxing… No longer did it tickle, as my body had already become numb. Peaceful didn’t begin to describe the feeling.

“Minh, I love your feet,” I sighed, touching her soft soles with my stiff toes before my brain began to tingle out of consciousness. “They’re so pretty.”

“Thanks, but— Wait, you’re not supposed to say that! Don’t give up on me!”

Heh… I wasn’t supposed to say that, huh? Well, the truth slips when you won’t be around to face the consequences.

SLASH!

…Was I falling?

Ow! Fuck! That was way worse than the pipe drop since I could feel the impact vibrate my body! Whatever I landed on was all slimy and rubber-feeling, so at least I didn’t crack open like an egg. And I clearly wasn’t alone in this descent, as Minh yelled right alongside me. Her wide foot landed right on my face. Her saliva-covered, very slimy, very toxic… KYAA!

Wait, what was that? Light? I could finally see the horror in her face.

“Did they give up?” I asked, wincing at the radiating pain in my shoulder.

“That’s what you both get for following me in the first place.”

That voice… Above us, a red-spotted Toad dangled from more sliced vines. He had that same black bandana across his cap from yesterday, and the fear and regret poured into me like a storm. Making matters worse, his bright light was directly on my face.

Minh pushed me out the way before I made any move, then pointed to the teen. “You’re in big trouble when we get outta here! All the jobs you could’ve found, and you wanna work for Wario!?”

“I just do the delivery work.”

Dane T. landed between us but immediately whipped his flashlight in my direction again. When looking at my face, I could practically hear the “Data Analysis” voice. My body may have aged a lot in these years, but my face was almost no different than when I’d left this city. If only I’d worn makeup!

He turned to Minh. “And by the way, not the thanks I expected for saving you and you friend.”

Whoa. Did he really forget what I looked like? His flashlight was bright enough to blind a girl, yet he couldn’t solve this rudimentary puzzle?

“Speaking of, who is she?”

Minh grabbed his shoulder. “Not important. We need to get out of— WAAAAA!”

And there she went, back into the air.

“This just keeps getting better and better.” I stood in disbelief at the sight above us. Thanks to the boy’s flashlight, counting the number of Piranha Plants in this small room was child’s play.

So, how does 44 sound? And unlike normal Piranha Plants, these were orange with red spots and green mouths. Ew, and gnarly violet teeth.

“Putrid Piranhas!” Minh screamed. “They’re Putrid Piranhas!”

“Meaning!?”

“They’re way more dangerous! Get me down! NOW!”

And I thought beehives were impressive with the number of fuzzy insects they stored. Several of these Putrid Piranhas, including a couple of buds, had whisked Minh to the highest level of the shaft. And as she ascended, a line of red tongues awaited her feet, cap and sides. Her laughter in the face of utter doom was a surreal site, for sure.

“This is new.” My brother grinned before tapping my shoulder. “Hey, can you do this?”

For a few seconds, he ran in place. But immediately afterwards, he crushed the vines beneath us to run up part of the wall. Hopping from face to face, the boy was making it to Minh at a speed that left me baffled. On his first try… How could anyone in this family of either obesity or frailness be as quick as I was!?

The acrobatics he put on display made me look like… No. I wasn’t second-rate to a boy that was only 13. The poison in me probably made me perceive his motions as quicker.

Once the Toad was in the Putrid Piranhas’ vicinity, the slashing commenced. Like some sort of knight, he cut through the stems like butter. The screeching may have shaken the shaft, but not nearly as much as the collapsing plant parts that hit the floor.

“Hey!” One smacked me right in my sore shoulder.

“Stop cutting them!” Minh shrieked between giggles. “Stop it! You’re gonna trap us all!”

Dane T., now on Minh’s level, jumped from wall to wall like a spiralling drill. Upon the final vine snapping, he grabbed Minh and used his knife to scrape his way down this brick wall.

With a chuckle, he tossed the knife into his pocket. “Last time I checked, I’m the one saving you, so I know what I’m doing.”

“Well…” First words I’d say to him in six years. “How’d you even get in here, if I may ask?”

“Downtown’s harder to navigate than this place. And that pipe you broke leads to here, Mineral Water Chamber 6. You’re both pretty lucky I was walking back here when you started all that hollering.”

Minh pulled down on her face. “Mineral water. That’s exactly what I was afraid of.”

“Why?” He pointed to the empty top of the room, showing us something we’d not seen before. A little open crawlspace, perhaps where some maintenance guys would enter. “Now, ladies, our exit awaits.”

“So, you gonna tell us the big deal about mineral water?” I asked Minh T, licking my lips. “Totally tastes better than ocean water.”

As I stepped forward, I heard what sounded like a little faucet leaking.

BOOM!

My panties had never been so soaked, and my vagina never hit with such pressure. A spout of frosty water sent the three of us airborne. And we still failed to hit the top of the shaft, screaming as we dove into the newly formed pool. That would’ve been a bad enough experience on its own, but something curious happened with the water. It bubbled more than it should’ve, as if someone was increasing the temperature.

As Minh surfaced, she spat like a fountain. Next to her, Dane T. held on. What? He wasn’t gonna make any attempt to stay afloat on his own? After that impressive slicing display?”

“You shouldn’t be delivering in a place full of water when you can’t swim, you doofus! That’s problem number one,” she coughed.

I was in disbelief. “Back up! You never once taught him how to swim all this time!?”

“Don’t come at me for not doing what someone else should’ve been doing!”

And our situation worsened with the greater rumbling of this shaft. Because in seconds, moving vines could be heard again. Dane T.’s flashlight shone above, revealing what looked like hundreds of Piranha Plants filling up the topmost section of this tiny room. Hundreds! Buds, fully-developed heads, all of them! And right in the middle, bearing down on us with the sharpest, gnarliest teeth was the queen bitch of the group.

Minh carried the boy in my direction, eyes firmly locked onto the mass of plants. “Mineral water can make regular Piranha Plants grow faster than normal. Now, have a whole chamber drenched with this stuff, throw in some sliced Putrid Piranhas—meaning their vines will all grow parts like starfish—and we’re playing a whole new game.”

“Oops…”

“You get a lesson later. Right now, please, for all our sakes, I hope you have another escape route.”

Now that they’d sapped all the flavour from my and Minh’s bodies, these beasts’ attention was going to be on our internal juiciness…

Chapter Text

With our only exit at the top of this water-filled shaft, what other options remained? Even if some miracle escape existed at the bottom, we’d have to dive so many feet to get down there. And while Minh or I could handle that no problem, myself especially, we were dealing with a boy who could barely keep himself above the surface.

Our time was only getting shorter as the Putrid Piranhas danced with more speed. They were more than eager to feast on us, the long-tongued bastards.

“I’m thinking another cutting round’s gonna be necessary,” DT said, wiping the brown tuft of hair out his eyes.

Minh grabbed his hand. “Even if you could slice all hundreds of them up there, you really think it’ll take long for them to regrow? And in a bigger amount.”

“Then our only other option’s at the very bottom! But I don’t know how we get down there when we won’t be able to see squat.”

Fantastic. We were stuck between two exits, one blocked by hundreds of flowers and the other blocked by this cold water. At least the water level meant that a floor of vines wasn’t another obstacle waiting for us, but still, our situation couldn’t have gotten worse. If we could just somehow sink to the bottom, with DT in our arms, leaving this place would be a piece of cake.

“Come to think of it, there might be a way.” And I looked up. “Whoa!”

My cap narrowly avoided a sharp bite from the largest Putrid Piranha, and the resulting splash sent me crashing into the wall. As the giant plant shrieked, it struck a second time! One of its vines smacked me in the face. Wasn’t long before it wrapped itself around my arm, pulling me into the bundle of slimy monsters.

“Nice try!” With my other hand free, I karate chopped myself free from this vine. The plunge into the frigid water may not have stung, but both my wrists now felt seriously inflamed. As if a throbbing wouldn’t go away in my left one, the one that had been violently constricted by the Putrid Piranha. And my right one had a pain that flowed down the rest of my forearm.

“Hey, E. Gadd!” I swam up to Minh as best as I could. “You stuffed your bag with all those arcade items, right?”

“Not all of them!”

“If they had Mega and Mini Mushrooms, I’m crossing my fingers there was some more useful junk.” The violent plant snapped at me again, nipping the top of my cap the moment I dove under the water. In seconds, I emerged behind Minh, spreading open her insane bag. First, I felt all my shoes. Lovely. After that, it was an assortment of things that wouldn’t serve our situation. Another Mini Mushroom? That’d be a great way to drown. A Tanooki Suit? As if the two of us could carry a stone boy underwater.

Another loud splash caused a tidal wave to hit us, making our chattering teeth far louder. So, this was 100% how Daisy felt when she went through Toad Town Tunnels. At least she hadn’t been drenched for so long, whereas Minh and I had been wet for an hour, possibly longer.

“You know, your voice kinda sounds familiar.”

“Does it?” I asked the boy. Under my breath, I whispered, “Thought puberty would’ve dropped it by a pitch or two.” 

“Oye, best friend, whatever you’re looking for’s gonna have to wait! It’s charging up!”

Charging? The Putrid Piranha was way back, so it wasn’t a threat in the slightest. Perhaps Minh’s vision was beginning to slip among all the chaos.

“Bingo!” At last, an item entered my grasp that could aid our escape. “Boy, use this!”

After pushing the Frog Suit item onto him, he simply kept staring at me. Um, why? Didn’t he realise that we didn’t have time to twiddle our thumbs? These monsters weren’t gonna stay at bay for long.

“Hurry up!” I screamed.

“R-Right!”

Fortunately, contrary to what the name would have you think, one didn’t need to actually dress into the Frog Suit. Simply holding it tightly in one’s hands allowed it to cover the user in the green wear. All it took was three seconds, none painful. Now, whether he knew it or not, DT’s swimming ability immediately gained a boost. Plus, it did make him look less threatening and cutesier, even at the expense of oozing so much mucous.

“Good idea!” Minh said. “Now you can look and breath underwater, so finding that escape’ll be like…”

“Duck!”

DT instantly took a deep breath and threw himself backwards into the water. But while Minh followed, the Putrid Piranha’s movement kept me above the surface. It had opened its large mouth, revealing tons of its sharp, venom-filled fangs. If it wasn’t gonna come any closer, it must’ve been planning a different attack.

“What tricks do you have up your sleeve?”

For a few seconds, I watched as it seemed to yawn, slightly warming the damp chamber. This left me scratching my head. Was it just gonna rest up there?

A tug on my leg quickly sent me to the bottom like an anchor. Unable to open my eyes, I was dragged along by some force in this frigid water. And somehow, the cold wasn’t the most uncomfortable part. Some kind of stinging sensation burnt my nose while I held my breath.

Submerged, the shrieks and laughter of all the Putrid Piranhas reminded me of our last terrifying encounter with a mischievous race. At least the Boos never intended on eating us, or so their body-stealing leader said. Not only did these guys want our energy, but something told me we weren’t finished with them yet. Even without invisibility, these vines could get through a lot of tight places.

Perhaps the boss wanted me to escape.

My hearing finally left the world of muffled sound as I gasped for air. Rubbing this miracle water from my eyes, I was hit with a new surprise. Instead of being in a dark vertical shaft, now we were at the top of some long slide. A slide with an endless number of alternate tracks. Boy, this was something my brain would struggle to dream up in its tipsiest state. The slide was covered in the three primary colours, and DT was lugging…a tube? Not a pipe, no, one of those things you sit on at a water park. Like an inner tube.

“What now?” I aked Minh.

“Don’t ask me.”

“You two aren’t the first to get stuck down here,” my little brother said as he pushed this device towards the edge of the slide. “Way long ago, a couple of guys died from getting trapped in chambers like those. So, they made an escape route like this for all the people who have to work down here. And one Toad thought slides would be way more fun, like a reward for a hard day’s work.”

“Boy definitely remembers history than you,” Minh whispered.

“They force kids to stay awake nowadays.” I concentrated on the circular machine. “So, just treat this like a simple ride?”

“Yeah, you wish it was simple, huh?” He held his fists in place for a few seconds, making the Frog Suit disappear. Water and mucus continued to drip down his body. “These things haven’t been upgraded in years, so the pedals are non-existent. In English…”

The boy popped his socked heels out of his shoes.

“Both of you are gonna have to put in some work.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me, but I don’t feel comfortable steering something that looks like it’ll flip over if I so much as sneeze.”

“I’m not dumb enough to let you kill us, don’t freak out. You get the easiest job, whatever your name is.”

Now, he said this would be an easy job. He didn’t mention anything about me lying on the floor, while he and Minh sat on the edge. Not only were they sitting on the edge, but both of them had me firmly pinned under their feet. Minh’s were on my face, and DT’s were on my… They were just above my crotch, too close for comfort.

“In what world does any of this make sense?” I asked, muffled under Minh’s wet soles.

“No pedals for left and right, but the sensors are still working. We gotta use you as a middleman, that’s all,” he giggled in a way that’d make Penelope proud. “Beats using an old bag or toolbox, I’ll say.”

Based on this, if DT’s feet pushed into me, the machine would slant to the left. And if Minh did it, the opposite would naturally occur. As much as being at Minh’s feet like this should’ve entertained me, they were covered in nasty water, smelt like vinegar, and I didn’t want to be doing this in front of somebody else. Especially my little brother. This encounter was twenty times more awkward than it had any right to be.

“Say, are those Putrid Piranhas gonna cause us any trouble?” the flower Toad asked.

“I’ve only done this for fun, never in an emergency. The only way to find out is by doing. Ahem, without further ado…”

With the click of a button, the inner tube produced a faint hum, like an air conditioner starting up. The weight of all four feet slowly increased as the vehicle rocked back and forth. For a second, it calmed down and slowly glided forward. Then came the drop.

My screams were wholly interrupted by Minh’s wet heel finding a home in my mouth! DT’s intense pressure on my stomach didn’t help matters. The faster we accelerated, the stronger their feet became. I was subjected to a chunk heel ready to force its way down my throat and two socked feet treating my lower midsection like a video game dance pad. As soon as the fall ended, my crotch received a swift kick. No doubt we were now moving to the left.

Did neither of these buffoons understand that to drive a vehicle, you use your big toe for the gas? Even a simple girl like me, who didn’t own car, could tell you that.

Minh’s heel went so deep in my mouth that I was afraid I’d choke. If only it tasted good and not like cheap water, it might’ve been bearable. To add to my discomfort, every time this machine needed to go to the right, she was obligated to push her foot deeper into my face. My head was the pedal, so there was no winning.

And with DT, I couldn’t tell if he’d secretly figured out who I was, which would explain why he was kicking my body with such aggression. Or maybe the boy had so much spunk that he couldn’t control himself. Either way, would it kill him to go a little easier on me? I could only take so much of this.

“How long is this gonna take?” I asked, gargling Minh’s salty digits.

“A couple minutes at worst! Don’t tell me this is too much for you!”

“Don’t tell me you expect me to last longer with Minh’s foot suffocating me!”

“Hey, we could’ve swapped positions, and then you’d be dealing with mine. I did you a favour.”

As if. Wearing socks would’ve neutralised whatever odour could’ve formed. Besides, it was already getting concerning that his speed did seem to rival mine. The last thing I needed was my own brother to outstink me. Could I or my feet have any unique traits to ourselves?

Minh now stuffed her clammy toes in my mouth, with three of them penetrating past my teeth. While the big and pinkie toes remained outside, I slowly treated the remaining ones like pacifiers. Whatever mild pain she caused me was insignificant compared to the major crotch pain DT delivered with his aggressive kicks. Much of my effort was spent adjusting my body to have him hit my thigh instead. Anything other than my damn pussy would’ve been a nice target for this unjust abuse.

Where did all this strength come from? While I was bouncing from home to home for the past half decade, he should’ve been living comfortably in Mushroom City. After all, didn’t Mommy move to this junky place to get a job that didn’t pay her small money?

“For such a dangerous job, the money better be worth it,” Minh said.

“Dangerous, but it’s way more fun than sitting at a restaurant or—”

BONK!

And I thought that taxi ride gave me horrible whiplash. This sudden stop was strong enough to tear my head from my neck. Minh’s toes pinched my nose, trapping the unpleasant odour in my vicinity. And two boyish heels were stacked next to each other right against my groin.

The girl squeezed tighter. “It’s back!”

“I’ll deal with it!” DT yelled.

Groaning, I felt the pressure on my lower body finally disappear. And now I rose to my feet to get some fresh air and a sight of what we were up against.

Just a couple of feet in front of us was a panting Putrid Piranha with its tongue stuck out like a dog. With it were six smaller followers. All that purple liquid coming out their teeth… Something told me we’d have to exercise more caution here. Especially when I looked down and saw nothing but an abyss below us. Bastards broke the slide.

But DT apparently never learnt of the word “caution”.

He’d already hopped into the air, bringing his foot down onto the giant Putrid Piranha’s head. Fat load of good that did him. The boy just bounced back, coming an inch close to missing this vehicle if I hadn’t taken the initiative. I leaned and stretched out my arms, letting him crash into me.

“So, how was that plan supposed to go?” I asked.

“I… If I can’t cut ‘em, then what?”

“If it decided to look up, you would’ve been its lunch just now.” Guess I’d have to take matters into my own hands. “Watch him, Minh!”

I growled every time I slipped just trying to warm up for a run. The water that’d seeped into the vehicle made balancing a test of patience. And the longer it took for me to stand straight, the more this Piranha guided us into its mouth. The front of the inner tube already felt the teeth marks scrape against its underside, generating a sharp noise.

“OW!”

While locked onto the Putrid Piranha, something chewed me from the side. One of those little ones!

“Damn Piranha!” I elbowed it atop its head, stumbling backwards. Then on my other shoulder, another one’s sharp vines scraped me. Time for a strategy change. Screaming, I took both of their vines in my hands and—WHAM—bashed the little bastards together!

But killing them was a whole other issue. Normal attacks weren’t gonna get us far, as they were already rising.

“Got it!” Dodging another bite, I slid to Minh and pulled a softer item out her bag. A bit of fire power, nice. “Been a while since I used one of these.”

“Which is that?” she asked.

“Move!” DT shouted, pushing Minh to the ground.

The orange glow around my hand immediately sent them both scurrying to the other side of the vehicle. I apologised for the burn, but the Fire Flower wasn’t the easiest item to control. As I clenched my fist around its stem, I felt the spark of energy piece my heart. Oh boy… Brace yourself, Toadette! There was never a time when this flower didn’t make my veins contract. Good thing I knew what was in store because my feet weren’t going anywhere! In ten seconds, I’d adapted to the volcanic heat.

With a glance at my red braids and pink spots, I was finally ready to unleash a blitz on the Putrid Piranha and its henchmen.

Looking back at Minh and DT, one was terrified, and the other stared in awe.

“Are you single?” the boy asked, his brown eyes twinkling.

…Moving on. I spawned a fireball in my hand, pulling back like this was a game of softball. At the same time, three smaller Putrid Piranhas rained down on me.

“Taste this!” Pitching it at them, the ball disbursed and vaporised the giggling freaks. The remaining three quickly spiralled around my ankles. Ha! What a surprise they were in for when they turned to ash. “Careful. Hehe, I’m dangerous.”

Now that left the big one.

I fired constant shots like a machine gun, all of them aimed at the leader. If a ball missed the head, it hit the stem. But the majority of them bounced into the creature’s mouth.

As the slide rumbled, the monster let out a scream. We shot up the slide like a rocket, retracing our steps. But even though its movements forced us backwards, there was still the matter of the slide being broken! Worse still, the Putrid Piranha was still alive, opening its mouth right at the bottom!

“Suggestions? Suggestions?” I asked, trying not to cry from the blinding downhill winds.

“Chomped, poisoned, or both! Those are our options!”

“Good enough!”

Minh’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry, what?”

No time to explain! In a move that could be described as both stupid and cool, I somersaulted off the ride and slid ahead of it. Nice that the water couldn’t sap away the effects of a Fire Flower.

Being cold for so long made the warmth in my feet super relieving. The way the flames travelled down my legs and into my toes… I needed as much firepower in them as possible. Although, I’d never shot a fireball from my feet before. Was it even possible? They’d taught us that a ball could only exist in someone’s hands. Well, let’s put it to the test!

Ahead by four seconds, I leapt under the broken section of the track. The Putrid Piranha’s mouth stretched across the entire length of the void, its teeth gleaming as if to say, “Get it? I’m the more dangerous plant.” At last, a tingling in my heels gathered at my toes. So much energy to store at once…

“And you can go to Hell!”

As all ten digits curled up like fists, then spread out as far as they could, a warm glow illuminated the pit. An out-of-control stream of flame burst into the Putrid Piranha’s mouth like fireworks, finally settings its lips ablaze. It screamed even louder than before, just what I prayed for!

“This is your worst idea—”

Minh was in for the shock of her life. As the tube carrying her and DT passed above me, a mist of sizzling, noxious gas shot at us from below. The Putrid Piranha’s final attack, if you will. It smelt just as weird as when it opened its mouth in the mineral water chamber, but this time, its force crushed me against the underside of the vehicle. And the wind at that pressure was enough to rip a whole through a steel building! Seriously, the ride was faster than any taxi trip in this dangerous city! I could feel so much dust entering my nose as we continued to climb, along with the various bumps from damaged floors.

BOOM!

Ah… Light! I could see light! We were out the sewers! If I wasn’t scared shitless that we were fifty feet in the air and now taking a plunge to the Earth, I’d have been cheering.

CRASH!

My back smashed against the tarmac as I was the first to land. The road wasn’t in the best condition either. It had a huge, HUGE crack in the middle and reeked of bubbly chemicals and smoke. And cheese… Lots and lots of cheese… But that crack quickly found itself covered by the vehicle and two dizzy Toads.

DT tumbled out the machine, panting yet laughing. “That. Was. Awesome.”

“It was not awesome!” Minh shrieked, holding her stomach as she stepped on the ground. “I feel so nauseous.”

“Puking can be cool.” The boy waltzed over to me. “Never seen someone use a Fire Flower like that. Think you could show me one day? Come on, please? That was just so…”

And he continued on and on. How could the kid so calm after everything that had just happened? Sure, we were out, but wasn’t he the least bit injured? Even if I wanted to entertain him, if we didn’t get a move on, someone was gonna hold us responsible for destroying the street and a part of the Piranha Plant Slide. Lucky there were so few people on the road. Alright, Toadette, get up…

“…I can’t breathe…”

Nope, my body wasn’t moving. I couldn’t feel any heat, so the pain couldn’t have been from the Fire Flower. Maybe breaking through several floors of an underground water system wasn’t the smartest. But these two looked perfectly fine, with Minh showing no issues as she walked to my side.

“Hey, shouldn’t we get out of here before someone notices?”

“Can’t breathe.”

She cocked her head. “Come again?”

“Please!” Now I was hyperventilating, grabbing for my heart. The pain was now searing from head to toe. “Shit! I really can’t breathe!”

“But how? I don’t…” The Toad put her hands to her mouth, not moving an inch. “They hit you with poison, didn’t they?”

Poison? Really? Life couldn’t have picked a better time for me to get sick? Even then, being sick never felt so strange before. I could always breathe, just maybe with a stuffed nose. And my body certainly wouldn’t be throbbing and feeling like someone was setting my lungs on fire.

Minh turned to DT, clenching her fists. “We wouldn’t even have been messing around down there if you weren’t helping out this hooligan!”

“Don’t take this out on me! Why were you even following me in the first place?”

Oh! The coin case! The remote was still in my pocket.

“First, we’re taking her to your house, got it?” Minh grabbed my aching right side. “Faster walking there than to the hotel.”

“Hospital too far?”

“They’ll identify what’s in her body and then figure out we were in a place we shouldn’t have been in. You wanna explain to the cops why you were down there?”

The boy rolled his eyes. “Fine. Let’s go!”

I recognised this path. It was the same one we’d familiarised ourselves with when we’d first moved here. And likewise, the same path I took when I left. For being such a grand city, it sure was less willing to change than Toad Town. A lot of the places looked the exact same as they had six years ago. Maybe a few posters switched here and there.

Would the apartment look the same? …If I could keep my body from shutting down, I’d have been able to tell you…

No! I could at least make it far enough to see it with my very eyes. As they carried my barefoot body to more crowded streets, the 28-storey building towered over the various shops and whatnot. Its red brick exterior that admittedly helped it stand out among the various blue and grey buildings. The part I couldn’t explain at all: my smile. For a location I never wanted to see again, something about its presence made the throbbing a little less agonising. Even being inside, where others raised an eye with concern at my state. Phew, just being in an air-conditioned building put some ease on my trembling body.

“24th floor, right?” I asked.

“Oh, you remember what I told you earlier. Smart girl.” There was Minh, actually using her brain rather well. When the doors closed, the lift carried us interrupted.

“Can I ask something?” DT poked my side. “Why exactly are you both barefoot?”

“We’re adults. We’re allowed to be,” Minh groaned as she set the rest of me into the elevator.

“O-kay… Your friend’s nails look nice, that’s all I wanted to say.”

“Hey, and mine don’t?”

“She’s sick. I was just trying to compliment her.”

“Thank you… Minh did them…” I exhaled, my breathing getting fainter when they brought me into the hallway. Of course, they’d take me to 2404. That was our number, one I couldn’t forget.

DT pulled a key out and stepped inside. “Mom’s definitely not here yet.”

“Perfect. I’m not expecting her until four like usual.” Minh shut the door, attempting to push me deeper inside. “Go get that breathing machine.”

“Think that’s gonna help her?” he asked, removing his sneakers at the front door. Funnily, I mimicked his exact same motion despite my bare feet being on this carpet.

“For now, yes. Now do it! Let’s go!”

“Yay…” And then I fell, gasping like a fish out of water…

Chapter Text

Awakening in a room I hadn’t lived in for so long invoked a feeling of nostalgia. Like the path here, a lot of things were in the same place. All those boxes… When I ran my finger along the nightstand, I couldn’t spot a trace of dust. All that seemed to change were my stuffed animals. Instead of them comfortably lying in the bed, I occupied their former place, breathing slowly as I poked at the tubes going up my nostrils.

Somehow the slight vibration of whatever contraption I was connected to both soothed and disturbed me. It was the only constant noise here, uninterrupted.

To think I’d end up back here after having done such a good job of staying away. I took a deep sigh. All those memories were piling up, one after the other, as if to mock me for all my efforts to stay hidden for so many years. But so what? No matter who it hurt, I’d done the right thing and wouldn’t change it for anything. If I’d never left, Minh and I could’ve gone our separate ways. And if I hadn’t been homeless, I would’ve never considered applying to Peach’s castle. And without all of that, I’d have missed out on tons of events leading me to my present self: a 19-year-old Toad with a budding interest in feet.

For better or for worse, this was my own unique story. One whose events were too far away to be changed.

“Ew, sweaty…” I rubbed my soles together under the sheets. “Sweaty, why are my feet so sweaty?”

The heat from earlier should’ve died down by now. I pulled back to covers to give my feet some air, and then they kind of cooled. They shouldn’t have bothered to cover me, whoever put me in this bed. Not only were my feet slimy and nasty to the touch, but my pits left two wet holes in my shirt.

Wait, was it even my own shirt? It was white. My vest was nowhere to be seen. My pants also weren’t covering my legs. These were instead loose black shorts.

Let’s just get out this bed and—

“GAH!”

Already forgot I was stuck to this device. It was some small box with a switch, and thanks to the tight tubes, it damn near tore my nose off.

“I’m coming!”

The door flew open and smacked the wall, Minh’s eyes bulging as she ran to my side.

“Please get me off this thing.”

“It makes sure you’re breathing. You’re gonna have to wear it again when you’re asleep, ‘kay?”

As she took me off the machine, she explained that I’d been unconscious from about 12:00 to 6:34, the current minute. Great, so today was very productive. More importantly, she said that the poison I’d been doused in would last at least three days. Even that wasn’t promised to be the end of it. And since this poison mainly targeted my bloodstream, this soreness wouldn’t easily die down.

Grr… If I wasn’t healthy by the time the Star Festival rolled around, six days from now, Peach was gonna feel my wrath. I’d done too much for this yellow-haired bimbo to miss out on something grand like this!

Minh put a hand over my forehead. “Ooh, you’re sweaty.”

“I didn’t shower?”

“We wiped you off a lil’, but no, that’s still gotta happen. I’ve gotcha, don’t worry one bit.”

Looking down, Minh had also switched to a pair of pyjamas. Similar to me. A pink shirt and black shorts that couldn’t obscure her feet in the slightest. Those blue raspberry toes…

“I really need to stop skipping meals,” I groaned, snorting the snot like a pig.

“Come on and eat, silly. But,” she whispered as she got closer, “you should know that she’s here.”

Good news simply couldn’t come without bad news, huh? I immediately turned back to bed, head high as I wished not to see my mother at the moment. Eh… But those sheets wouldn’t be too nice to rest on now that a sweat stain in the shape of a Toad had formed. Smelt nasty even from a distance.

“Your precious princess is gonna pay for getting me sick like this.” I shoved myself past Minh.

“It’s not her fault, Toadette.”

“It’s not her fault, Toadette.” A sharp scorn vibrated through my voice. “You’re lucky you didn’t get sick in that cold Forever Forest. She’s lucky Penelope didn’t get sick walking barefoot in there. My luck ran out effective today. Sending us on all these missions is gonna get one of us seriously hurt, watch.”

She blankly stared.

“You should have more confidence in Her Highness. Anyways, our situation with the coin case just went from bad to worse.”

“Tell me something I couldn’t have predicted. What’s up?”

“He already delivered it. And Dane can’t get that close to the Scapellis themselves outside of making deliveries. He said it’d be all the way in their main operation area, wherever that is. I don’t want the Star Festival to be—” 

My finger covered her lips. “If Her Highness wants a job done well, she will wait. I just need time to think, okay?”

When we took the first step into the hall, I understood better why someone like her—a girl who preferred to bundle herself in thick clothing while she slept—was wearing short-sleeved pyjamas. It was incredibly warm, even warmer than the typical castle was. Although the toasty atmosphere was welcome, quite cosy, it was difficult to appreciate when my body’s temperature fluctuated.

Carpet was still as low as when we moved in. One of the better things about this place because if all the floors were tiled, I’d have left dozens of cold footprints behind.

Now out of the dark hall and into the light living room, two sets of eyes were on me. Well… I could only see one set of eyes, but I knew she was staring as well.

Both DT and my mother were at that same old dinner table, one barely big enough for two people, let alone three. Once I saw them, my heart began to run in the opposite direction. It didn’t want to approach. It wanted me to bounce from this apartment and never return. But I had a few choice words for my terrified life source. “Grow up.” If this wasn’t gonna happen today, tomorrow was right around the corner. The time for running was over.

“There she is,” the boy said, pulling a spoon out his mouth. “Doesn’t she look so similar?”

Before taking my seat, I took a look at what had changed in the living room. Apart from a lot more video game machines under the entertainment system and a crap ton of DVDs, not much. The rug was the same with its warm, abstract pattern. And just one look at the couch told me my rear was still baked into it.

Even if my heart was afraid to approach the two Toads, the smell of food would lure me anyway.

Finally, I pulled back the wooden chair and sat as straight as a girl should. No elbows on the table, of course. I just sat with my hands folded on my lap and looked at the emptiness in front of me. No plate, no bowl, no nothing.

“It’s macaroni and beans tonight,” Minh said, walking a metre to the open kitchen. “I’ll dish you some out.”

Something told me she was going to take her time so I could be alone with my mother and brother. If I’d known what to say, I’d have spoken in the minute that passed. But how do you start a conversation with people you haven’t seen for so long? As DT continued to slurp from his cheesy bowl next to me, I could feel my mother looking through me from across the table.

Tapping my toes on the carpet was the only way to make the situation go by. Ooh, if I rubbed them enough, maybe the moistness would disappear.

“How are you feeling, dear?”

Fuck. The bitch talked.

“Sick.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about spending the night here. Minh already filled me in on the basics. Whatever poisoned you, be glad it didn’t finish you off. Other Toads would’ve been out and cold by now. My name is T. Ana.”

As if I needed a reminder when it was already part of my real name. When I lifted my head to get a proper look at the witch, I had to squint to see the differences from a few years ago. Apart from some extra weight and perhaps different makeup preferences, she was the same cherry-haired lady who treated me like scum. You’d think after 34 years of living, she’d have learnt to trim the massive wall of her blocking her eyes. And she wasn’t slick with that striped sweater. Anything to distract from the fact that she was spreading out, huh?

“You got a name?”

“I work alongside the princess, so I’m afraid I can’t give you any name, ma’am.”

“The princess?” She leaned closer, stretching her mouth into a freaky grin. “You work for her and yet you’re hanging around Minh?”

“Hey, I’m important too!”

“But not Princess Peach important. If you’d gone to college like your friend her must’ve, maybe you’d have been in her position, girl.” She turned back to me. “What kinda job?”

“Also classified. Let’s just say she gives me…ACHOO! I tackle more responsibilities than her hardcore troops.” More like softcore troops. They were hardly intimidating, just one reason Peach managed to get kidnapped every other month.

“I believe it,” DT said, sucking on his fingers. “You look like you could hold your own in a fight.”

“Make some room, people!” Minh finally came out and left a hot bowl of mac and cheese in front of me. She then set down a cup, pulled up an extra chair, and finally squeezed in on my other side. Oof, remember how I said this table could barely fit two people? Yeah, trying to fit four was like solving a jigsaw puzzle.

The space was so cramped that she rested her feet on top of mine. No one else saw this thanks to the orange tablecloth, but she knew that I was fully aware. Her brown eyes were locked onto mine perfectly while she began to rub the tops of my feet. She clearly took a shower because I couldn’t feel any sweat or dirt on her soles, and they were soft to the touch. Then, not noticing any signs of objection from me, she began to eat to her heart’s content. Man, you’d think she was a Chain Chomp in a cake-eating contest, the way she could clean a bowl with just her tongue.

Heh… Hehe… I couldn’t help but imagine her tongue running along my soles now. The way she so effortlessly licked up the macaroni and beans was just…

Toadette, do not think horny thoughts when at a table with a boy and your mother. Manners!

Joining the others was worth it just for the food. Even though my body still felt flat and lifeless, a little nourishment perked me up little by little. The fact that Minh’s feet continued to stroke mine also helped to calm my nerves. Now, even in the presence of that horrible woman, my eyes weren’t constantly darting around. I no longer trembled like a dog. And when I did, it was thanks to the gentle friction Minh was giving my heels.

The more I watched her and DT eat, the more obvious their similarities became. They were both gluttons, no getting around that. She’d already gotten up two or three times to refill her bowl, and DT was busy trying to grab my mom’s food.

“You heard there was an explosion underground?” she asked.

Minh and I froze for a second.

“No idea, Miss T. Ana,” she said as she tapped my foot like a brake pedal. “Some nerd was probably working on his science experiment down there.”

“Or those Scapellis got into some trouble with someone. I swear, that Wario is the biggest drain on this city. How do you whine like a big-ass baby and have tons of hypemen behind you?”

“He’s rich. Gotta be something he’s doing right.” DT pulled his face from the bowl, lips bright yellow.

“DT, I can’t stand how much credit you give that blimp. Only in MC does being a nasty orc get you somewhere.” She downed her glass of wine in one take. “Now try that in another place and see how far it gets you.”

As they talked, my mind was mainly focused on the action under the table. Minh’s feet did an excellent job of keeping me relaxed. She kept her movements deliberately slow. And if the conversation ever seemed to heat up, just a little, she would pat the top of my foot like a dog.

Then she began to slide her toes under the arch of my left foot. Phew! Thank goodness I had the cup in front of my mouth when she did this. The moment those four little digits made their move, I scrunched up my face like a hand puppet. The fizzy soda masked my giggles for ten agonising seconds until her foot flew away.

But after dropping the cup, all their eyes were back on me.

DT spoke up. “You’re just spending one night here?”

I nodded, finally sighing in relief. And now— EEK! It came back! Her toes were trying to fit my whole foot in between them! Did Minh want me to look like a moron? If so, mission accomplished. I began to dribble soda from my mouth.

“You’re definitely Minh’s friend,” the boy continued.

“When’d you actually meet her?” my mom asked Minh.

“Second grade.”

One detail too many! I had to shut her…

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Wait, but those couldn’t have been her feet! She was on my right. But this assault was coming from my left. So, it could only be one other culprit. And sure enough, when I looked in his direction, DT was staring right at me. This time I had the good sense to cover my mouth so no one could hear my struggles to contain my laughter. But under the table, two siblings’ feet were in a bit of a war. And he had a smirk on his face the whole time.

DT’s feet were smaller, but that gave them one advantage: lighting-fast movement speed. I couldn’t escape them, and crossing my legs wasn’t comfortable due to the intense aching. Wherever my feet went, his followed. At least Minh showed some mercy. But DT, he aggressively rubbed the tops of my feet with his soles. And he could do it ten times easier because his soles felt sweaty and slippery. Either he failed to get his butt in the bath or he had the same issue as me with controlling sweat.

When he slid his foot between my big and second toe, these purple eyes bulged. How long could I last without bursting out in snickers? Every time I looked back at him, he was either picking at whatever beans lingered or giving me a sharp glance.

Wait! What were Minh and my mom talking about now?

“I swear, you must stick to a particular type. I’ll be damned if she’s not a twin of TT in every way.”

“Hmm?” Once I responded, the rubbing that DT did to my feet finally broke me. What started as a small giggle turned into rambunctious laughter. And now his toes were playing with the back of my foot, squeezing that part above my heel. One, two, three! I banged on the table that many times, causing a bit of cheese to squirt onto my cheek. AAH! And he wouldn’t quit the tickling! Get away from my arches, you demon!

“Don’t get so loud.” Excuse me. Minh wanted to be authoritative today?

“I mean,” my mother continued, “her eyes are the same colour.”

“Nah, those are contacts. She’s a natural emerald-eye.”

The older woman scratched at the cotton candy mess that was her hair. “Purple contacts even though she’s obviously wearing glasses?”

“She’s gotta wear both. Ask her eye doctor ‘bout it, ‘cause I ain’t got no explanation.”

A nice effort to save my identity, but soon would come the important day. While I finished the rest of my meal, it hit me that my body would be too weak to continue on the entire night. I needed deep sleep in order to be ready for the emotional toll tomorrow would bring.

I rose from the table, panting. “Thank you for the meal, ma’am, but I must get some early rest.” And after washing my bowl in the sink—tons of soap and a sponge, some habits still came natural to me—I spun to see…

“Had fun tickling me?” I asked.

“Just a little bit.” The boy dumped his bowl on top of mine. “Hey, you wanna play a game?”

“Game? Um, did you forget what happened to me? Look, I’d love to if I was feeling all good, but…”

Not caring one bit about my answer, he grabbed my arm and tugged me into the living room like a ragdoll. “Come on! It’s a Wii. It’s like the most amateur system on the planet.”

Minh chuckled. “I dunno, Dane. Better off giving her a pre-school toy.”

Way to root for me, best friend. Okay, so I had to entertain my brother by playing whatever video game he wanted. How bad could this be? Worst thing would be a constant losing streak, but I knew my body wasn't gonna let me play enough for that to happen. Besides, I remember getting perfect marks with that Kirby’s Avalanche game at Minh's house when we were kids.

But that was as simple as moving the blocks down the whole time and praying they'd match.

“Don’t keep her for too long, DT,” my mom called out. “We don’t wanna make her worse.”

If she knew who I really was, oh, she’d totally want to make it worse… 

“Not sure I understand this.” I spent minutes waggling this remote in the air. How did it even work? Okay, a button on the top, a button on the bottom, and a cross to move around. But what the hell were these “1” and “2” buttons for? I couldn’t touch them without flipping the whole thing upside down.

“Does every girl treat gaming like it’s climbing a mountain?” He tightened the strap around my right hand. “Just hold it like a TV remote.”

“I’m sorry. Games aren’t my thing anymore.”

“Be happy we’re on a Nintendo system, so we can hit you with something nice and simple.”

Oh, so our mother could afford to buy DT all these machines, but couldn’t upgrade our old TV? The moment the black box turned on, the sharp hum returned. Then an image slowly flickered across the glass screen. It said “Wii Play” in orange and grey. Finally, a chime played, and the kid bounced next to me on the leather couch.

He kept a close eye on my face while he scrolled through all those text bubbles and logos. Even when playing a game, he still found ways to put me on edge. Especially as the bright lights in this household meant that my face was as clear as day.

“You pick,” he said, guiding my hands. “Just aim at the TV and press A. I can go for whatever.”

“Not even gonna make a bet out of it?” I immediately covered my nose to let out a loud sneeze.

“How’d you know I do that?”

Quick on my feet, I responded, “If you haven’t caught on yet, Minh’s a blabbermouth.”

“Hmm…” After scanning me more than an X-ray, a soft smile appeared on his face. But don’t be fooled. It was a look of deviousness. “Well, you’re sick and all, so I’m not gonna make it too humiliating for you. Loser’s gotta give the winner a foot rub. Deal?”

If he’d been any other boy and a few years older, it might’ve sounded cool. But given our familial bond, the thought of having to massage his feet made me uneasy. Was that normal? Expected?

Even still, I nodded anyway. “Don’t hold back.”

With all the years I’d left him alone, I was in no position to complain. Besides, a quick glance at his bare feet made things a bit better. Either luck was on his side, and he had developed flawless feet in his pre-teen years, or more likely, the foot fanatic in the kitchen had had an influence on him during my absence. His nails were too pristine for an average boy. Too clean, too well-trimmed. And name me one junior high school boy whose feet weren’t as dry as wood. Lotion was and is a foreign concept to the male gender.

What options did this game give us? Fishing? After a Cheep Cheep left a mark on my face way back, no thank you. Billiards? Hehe… Minh might’ve known what she was doing, but I sure as hell didn’t. All I saw were randomly-coloured balls on a lawn that looked nothing like a pool.

“Charge?”

“Doesn’t get easier than that. We get to murder a bunch of scarecrows on cows.” DT then read the instructions very slowly, as if I were a toddler. When he clicked the confirmation button, I instinctively leaned on the edge of my seat.

Sick or not, I had to give my all. A victory made sure I wouldn’t be touching his feet and feeling even weirder.

And as soon as I saw that bug-eyed cow with the overly simplified udders, more giggling filled the room. “Why does it look so drugged out?”

“Because it IS drugged out.” His butt almost fell off the couch with how forward he moved. “Whoever knocks down more wins!”

Three, two, one… START!

And off we went! DT immediately hit the first three rows of scarecrows perfectly, earning bonus points from the looks of it. My cow was way too far behind, and unless she got a rocket up her ass, she had no chance of catching up. So, when I got to the fifth line of these blocky targets, I tilted the controller as far down as I could. The spacing between me and DT was tight, too tight!

“Ah, I thought I was gonna breeze through this!”

“Overconfidence’ll get you killed.”

Aiming for a bouncing scarecrow in a royal outfit, my cow was the first to take it down. I was able to guide it to the next two lines of scarecrows without an issue, as DT was always just a second too late. But even then, he still had the majority of points. I’d have to continue perfectly to stand a chance at winning.

Hmm… He WAS sitting right next to me. I had fingers…

Ugh, I’d rather be a loser than cheat to beat a 13-year-old at a game. So, on I went with my ugly cow. Together, we defeated another king and brought down two more lines of these demented puppets. And then another cow jumped over my head. And—

“You can jump? When was that a thing?”

“Someone should’ve been listening.”

The boy’s laughter grew louder as he finished off the remaining scarecrows flawlessly, sending the final king into the distance of this fictional farmland. The world “Goal!” popped on the screen as cheerful music played, and his character celebrated on his white cow. Meanwhile, mine wore a look of shame as it crossed the finish line. Man, he ended with over 200 points, and I was under.

“I actually got scared you were gonna win,” he said, stretching his feet over my legs. “Nice try.”

“Puh-lease. A few more goes, and I’ll have you crying like a baby. ACHOO!!”

He put the controller down. “Oh right, You sure you got the energy to go through with this bet tonight? If you don’t—”

“I think I can handle it.”

“Just saying—”

“It’s already in motion, kid.”

I grabbed my little brother’s soles and started to fluff them along the sides. Five seconds in, another tingling sensation occurred in my private region. Every second that passed made the moment even more uncomfortable. Especially knowing that the foot freak could’ve been watching us since the living room and kitchen weren’t far apart. But come tomorrow, I was gonna have to do a lot of repaying. Best to get some of it out the way early.

I flattened my palm on his right sole, moving down until his toes curled. How he wasn’t laughing at this was a mystery.

“Doesn’t tickle you, huh?”

He shrugged.

“Hey, for a boy, you take nice care of your feet.” I hovered the foot before my face, pressing my thumbs below the arch and against the heel. “I would’ve expected some cracks or gnarly toenails, you know. But they’re pretty dainty.”

“Well, um, thanks…?”

“Saying that like you’re not too sure of yourself.”

“It’s just that no one’s really said that about me before. It’s like, nobody’s going around talking about how nice people’s toes are normally. Especially if they’re talking about a guy’s.”

I raised a brow. “Could’ve sworn you said you liked my nails as we were coming up here.”

“Well, Minh kinda made me notice them more since she’s been with us. That’s all.”

Yeah, that answered that. Hmm… Considering how much he touched my feet under the table, the next question was inevitable. Did my little brother have a foot fetish of his own? I obviously refused to ask him that, especially with two extra adults around, but anything was possible. Now that he’d admitted that Minh got him to pay more attention to feet, she probably had some influence on him.

Now, if she did anything suspicious with him, believe me, I wanted to know.

DT’s left foot still had that beauty mark around the arch. If we’d taken a family photo and someone had to pick us out by our feet, he’d be one of the easiest. On the other hand, his feet were well proportioned. They weren’t as long as mine, but they weren’t as wide as Minh’s either. Sure, the boy’s arches gave mine a run for their money, but otherwise his feet were right in the middle. Not too big, not too small. Just right.

The more my hands explored them, the more I tricked my brain into accepting that this was normal. Too bad the tingling in my groin didn’t go away. If anything, it got stronger when I ran my finger along the tops of his toes. The way they bounced up slightly when I pushed them down was just so…cute.

“How does this feel?” I asked, wiping the sweat from my forehead.

“Not that bad.”

“So, is getting your feet rubbed a common thing or something? Seems like an odd demand out the gate if you ask me.”

He shook his head. “Definitely not common. I’m usually sweaty, and when I kick off my shoes, my feet are the last things you want your hands on.”

“What made you ask this time?”

“Well, I WAS gonna have you suck my big toe. We’re always throwing that insult around at school, ‘Suck my big toe!’ But it seemed kinda too much since you’re already not feeling great.”

Hmm… To risk it or not to risk it? I tugged on each of DT’s toes, imagining them in my mouth. And every time I looked at his face, I felt so much dirtier on the inside. This was not normal, not in the slightest. But his feet were giving me those Captain Toad vibes. By all accounts, I shouldn’t have been so interested in them. They belonged to a male. In this case, a blood-related male.

Yet something about the sole made my heart race. Faster and faster…

“You okay?” he asked.

“AAH!” Dumb of me to have my blood pumping so much in a state of poison! My chest burnt like hell! Coughing not only hurt it severely, but it was getting my throat drier and drier. “Water! Please!”

“I’m sorry!” He pulled his legs back, running off the couch. “I should’ve done something different!”

No, I tried to tell him it wasn’t his fault. But my body’s reaction didn’t give me any room to speak. I just kept choking, grabbing onto the arm of the couch for support. It felt like someone was scraping rocks against my throat. Like a Peach punishment for failing to accomplish the mission.

“Drink, drink!” Minh’s voice was like a shrill fire alarm. I sipped the glass of sink water she shoved in my face. Though it didn’t immediately fix my breathing, the liquid at the very least brought some mild relief to my throat. When I opened my eyes fully, tears pouring out, all three Toads were looking at me with deep concern. Including… No, she couldn’t have been…

“Haven’t seen someone this sick in a long time, especially someone as young as you,” she said, rubbing my inflamed cap. “Poor thing. Minh, you should get her ready for bed. DT, turn on the A/C for that side of the house. And do you need some Koopa Tea, um, Princess Peach’s assistant?”

Fortunately, the hot shower steam managed to loosen my respiratory system a little. See, this is why nobody takes cold showers. The whole time, Minh was standing just outside the curtains, expecting me to fall at any moment. As they were so transparent and thin, I could see her pacing back and forth while I slowly soaped my body.

“I don’t get it at all.” I kept my volume low enough in case either relative was eavesdropping.

“Me either. We’d been through so much since you got your job, and you never got sick then. I think all this work is catching up to you.”

“Not that. Achoo…ACHOO! My mom is acting creepily nice. That goes against the laws of nature.”

“People change. Should I remind you, best friend?” Her sole appeared against the shower curtain, wrinkled and blushing. “Even daring to put my foot on your face would’ve gotten me slapped before. Now you’re a big girl who can handle a little foot rubbin’. Yes, you are.”

I covered my giggles. “But her whole personality has swapped. Maybe it’s just because she doesn’t recognise me. Ugh, even as an adult, I guess I should expect another playdate with Sir Extension Cord again.”

“Hey, I know she may not have been the best mom back then…”

“Fucking understatement of the century.”

“But since I’ve been filling in for you, I think she’s been doing a decent job with Dane. Still yells a bit too much for my liking, but after this new discovery, the boy’ll deserve a bit of it. And I don’t think she’s had to hit him since fourth grade, when he got into a fight with a boy.”

“Is that so?” Tons of envy continued to build up inside of me.

“Guess you’ll find out from her tomorrow.” 

“And while I’m sick. This week is going so perfectly.”

She took a seat on the toilet, looking up at the ceiling. “We’re gonna have a lot of fun at the Star Festival, so don’t you go dying on me yet.”

“What exactly is there to do?”

“Celebrations, treats, games—games that may involve hands and feet—and all sorts of exciting stuff. You’re not gonna regret going, I promise.”

Minh also told me that these simpler clothes were her own casual pyjamas, which she’d leave in this place for her temporary stays. Since the heating was usually on and not the air conditioning, there was no need to keep long-sleeved clothes here. Besides, she just had her stuff in my old room, a fitting place. So, after stepping out the shower and into this oversized night attire, I sank into my bed.

“I haven’t checked this all day,” I mumbled, flipping open my phone as Minh hooked me to the breathing machine.

The biggest notification on that tiny screen came from, shocker, Penelope. It read: “Mother says you didn’t activate the mics in the coins.”

Then another one: “Are you there?”

And finally: “Miss Toadette, send a message if you’re there!”

Aw, the last one tore at my heart. Even if an order from Peach, the little girl’s concern was nothing short of sad. But unfortunately for Penelope, she’d have to go to bed thinking something grizzly happened to us. It was too late to alert her crazy mother of our failure. The last thing I needed was a dozen messages where Peach would take her daughter’s phone and yell at me through text. Phone, turn off. 

“If you gotta get up in the middle of the night, just remove the tubes from your nostrils like this.” Minh demonstrated the act for me before walking away.

“Thank you.”

“You’re very very welcome.”

After flicking the lights off, she shut the door and left me in darkness. That eerie yet relaxing hum made shutting my eyes a much more peaceful experience…

Chapter Text

☆ Age 10 - Fifth Grade (Year: 2002) ☆

“You losers ready to believe me now, or do you still need more convincing?”

The opposing students trembled as I juggled the ball from foot to foot. Suckers. They talked a big game before facing me. But suddenly I pick up the pace and these idiots act like confused Pokeys. This wasn’t even serious football (soccer); it was gym stuff, literally in the gym due to a chilly thunderstorm.

On the sidelines, my biggest fan was cheering me on. “¡Eres la mejor, Toadette!”

“Thank you.” I pointed to the illuminated scoreboard. “But 40 to zero isn’t that impressive. How about we see if we can get into the hundreds?”

“She’s a psycho.”
“Never thought I’d be afraid of Queen Sweaty.”
“It’s like she’s some kind of speed demon!”

“Ey, somebody’s gotta put Toadette in her place! Are all of you bitches?” The coach was exhausted. No matter what lineup the opposing team had, they didn’t stand a chance against me. Oh, Minh was good—surprisingly so considering her allergy to physical activity. But how was someone as soft as a dandelion gonna go toe to toe with Toadette? Hell, there wasn’t even a Red Team anymore. I’d been doing this alone for the last couple of minutes, just for an extra challenge and the bragging rights that came with it.

“I’ll volunteer someone.” I immediately found my target. “Jolene doesn’t have anything better to do.”

Ah, Jolene. Had pink spots like Minh, but she wasn’t anywhere near as lovely. She always walked around with her head in a book, and in P.E., she was the laziest of the bunch. Well, except for any kid who was fat. Her legs and arms were skinnier than mine, and it looked like all her muscle was disappearing. Ugh, and don’t get me started on her fucking snitching. Anybody who prevents you from cheating on your homework is an enemy.

“Jolene, throw that flat booty meat on that court! For the love of all that is holy, PLEASE get Blue Team a point! I understand why Toadette’s momma’s always tired. If I were her, I’d be drinkin’ every goddamn day.”

While my mood couldn’t have been better, Jolene’s grimace as she stepped in front of me got under my skin. She never looked at me with any sort of respect.

“I’d fix your face if I were you.”

She adjusted her glasses and silently tapped her foot on the floor. Her literal foot, as the girl never came to school with shoes. By now, I’d gotten nice and comfortable in my thick sneakers. Meanwhile, her feet were black as coal no matter the day.

“Blue Team, this is your last chance!” The whistle blew.

As soon as the ball hit my foot, I made a dash for the goal. Ah, how nice, the sound of two idiots smashing their caps together as I dribbled the ball past them. Constant zigzagging and twirling made my movements as unpredictable as a spinning teacup at an amusement park. Time to launch this ball and bump the score to 41!

“HAA!” I flipped around and backwards-kicked it into the net. The goalie was too paralysed with fear to try blocking me this time.

“OOH!”

Why’d the crowd make that noise? When I opened my eyes, my smile began to crumble.

That bitch… How the hell did she catch the ball like that? Not only was she doing a handstand, but she was holding the ball between her toes. That alone was a shock, but I got a case of whiplash as the ball whooshed past me. And I’d removed my goalie! So the class let out a round of applause now that the Blue Team’s score left the realm of nothingness.

“Between your face and that move, you’re dangerously close to making me mad,” I said to the frail-looking girl.

“Something we can finally agree on.”

“I let my guard down ‘cause I felt bad for you, ugly! It’s not happening again!”

“Get her, Jolene!”
“One minute left!”
“Should make her smell your foot if you win!”
“I’m still on your side, loser or not, Toadette!”

It was a fluke, nothing more. With less than 60 seconds to go, what was I gonna complain about? These spore brains couldn’t score more than 20 points, let alone 40.

“I almost feel sorry for you,” I snickered, taking the ball under my foot. But with a mischievous chuckle, I started dribbling down the court again. Dodging, dodging again. And the ball was gone! Who took it?

Damn, how did that banana-haired freak get the jump on me? Her speed was nowhere near mine.

Then there came this bright flash. It was a pinkish glow that almost made Jolene look radioactive. W-Was she psychic? Was that how she stole the football from me? Vile, Goomba-breath cheater! Whatever she was up to, I wasn’t gonna give her the chance to show off anything wild. I ran up to kick that ball away from the now-levitating Toad.

“OUCH!” As soon as I got in her vicinity, my body sprung back like electricity was pumped through it.

“Oh shit!” The coach took a step back. “I ain’t even seen one of you do this! ‘Bout to get heated up in here!”

“Heated?” I asked.

KAWOOSH! BOOM!!

Suddenly the ball split into several flaming spheres. One by one, they scorched the goal net, causing the score counter to go haywire. Blue Team’s score just kept rising, while mine couldn’t go any higher than 40. Okay, wasn’t too bad at first… More or less 15, that was manageable. But then it entered the twenties, then the thirties, and my worst fears came true when it rose to the fifties.

60, 65, 70, 75… I covered my mouth, hiding the squeaky sound of terror from the rest of the room. Holy shit, she was in the hundreds!! That was impossible!! How did… What the hell kind of trick was that?

Even with more time, I couldn’t close that lead.

Coach blew his whistle one last time, fanning himself with his shirt. “Blue Team just roasted Toadette’s ass in the most crispilicious fashion I’ve seen!”

“That’s not fair!” I screamed, trying to raise my voice above the celebratory screams for Jolene. “She cheated with some magic or rare item!”

“If you had ever read a book, you’d have known about Mega Strikes and how they’re perfectly legal.” The winner gave me a smirk, bowing before her fellow classmates.

“Since Toadette decided to drive us all crazy, Jolene, you get to choose which activity she’s gotta do.” Our coach pointed to my blackened eye. “I know her mom, she’ll approve of whatever you got in that genius little head of yours.”

Jolene wiped her glasses on her shirt, the whole time eyeing me from head to toe. If she didn’t wipe that smirk off her face, she’d be heading home with some cherry-red lips.

“Can I pick two, sir?”

“Fuck yes.”

“What is wrong with you people?” The waterworks were opening up again.

“To apologise to the class for dismissing them all as losers, I think Toadette should lick the bottom of my foot.” Jolene lifted her dirty sole in the air. “Just one lick, anything else would be unnecessary.”

“I will kill you.” Tears were streaming down my face at this point. Too bad I couldn’t shout this statement at full volume without risking a serious suspension. Damn threat policy. “You’re dumber than I thought if you think I’m gonna—”

“Lick her foot! Lick her foot! Lick her foot! Lick her foot!’

“Get off me!”

The other students had formed a huge wall, pushing me towards Jolene and her disgusting bare feet. And to my left, the girl who was supposed to be rooting for me. Traitor! Minh blindly chanted along with those assholes, being one of the ones to pin my shoulders to the ground. Once enough Toads had trapped my legs, Miss Nerdy lifted her long foot over my face.

“NOOO!”

This was foul! Her foot looked sickening, covered in all sorts of outdoor mud, indoor dust, and what appeared to be a dead spider on her big toe. Ugh, even at a quick glance, all of that was enough to make me queasy.

But she dropped it on my face without hesitation, and two Toads had pried my mouth open. So, her foot slowly slid across my tongue, leaving a trail of muck behind. And I thought gelatine was gooey! This mud was all cold and sloshy and—

“BLAAAARGH!”

“Gross, gross, gross! She threw up!”
“Sick! It’s like a fountain!”
“Aw hell nah! My fucking floor! Toadette!”
“¿Qué has hecho, Toadette?” 

Still towering over me, Jolene was laughing. Too bad I didn’t puke on her fucking feet. She deserved every last bit of this disgusting treat.

“Considering our similar backgrounds, I’ll never understand your disdainful attitude towards me.” She folded her arms. “And as for my apology, I request an item from you.”

“Fat chance! Go bite into a Poison Mushroom!”

I was used to walking home barefoot, even on rainy days. But this was the first time I’d walked home with only socks on my feet. Why did it feel so strange to have them wet? They weren’t as strong as shoes, of course, but my feet were getting wrinklier by the second—more so than if they’d been wading in a pool. Ugh, and at this point, they’d probably smell like spoiled milk.

Minh’s umbrella was the only thing keeping the rest of me dry. Her mission this whole walk was to not make me feel like shit for losing my sneakers to an absolute cunt of a Toad.

“My mom’ll buy you a new pair tomorrow. No big deal.”

“That bitch made me look like an idiot. That’s a big deal.”

“You were talking a lot of smack back there, Toadette. Learn to do Mega Strikes. Jolene’s not as strong as you, so imagine someone with your muscles pumpin’ out kicks like hers.”

I rolled my eyes. “Trying to be a pro football player isn’t what I’m interested in. Looks like a lot of work.”

“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.” When we reached the porch, the harsh wind picking up, Minh asked another question. “Hey, what’d her foot actually taste like?”

“Did you not see how I painted that floor?” I shuddered just recalling the specific mashed potato-like texture of the filth. “Wipe it from your memory! It never happened!”

Inside the house we went. I gave the usual call to my mom that I’d arrived, and in traditional fashion, removed my… Well, I didn’t have any shoes to take off at the front door. Best I could do was peel these socks off. Considering they’d been soaked for more than a mile, getting them in the dirty clothes bin was top priority.

“Put ‘em with the other laundry?” I asked Minh, dumping the wet socks in her hands before running up the stairs.

Yeah, my feet were indeed super wrinkly. Holy fucking shit, socks were cursed when wet. Yet at the same time, it wasn’t like my feet were drenched or anything. They were a strange combination of dry yet soft. My skin was already quite light, but this little trek through the rainy streets had my soles looking like uncooked biscuits.

Mommy always said not to shower when it was storming, but whatever. Not the first time I got away with it. Plus, I didn’t dare to take a whiff of my feet in this condition. I’d lost so much food in my stomach that I’d end up barfing up the actual organ.

I checked my drawers for some pyjamas, plucking out the shirt and panties. That out the way, I just had to take off this backpack and strip. Into the closet—

“Jump attack!”

I’d only opened the door a bit, but in within seconds, I was on the floor. If I hadn’t recognised the high-pitched voice, a few punches would’ve come from this red-haired beauty. But instead, this surprise attack from DT had me laughing.

“Yahoo! I gotcha!” He pinned me down with his four-year-old arms.

Ah, it was gonna be one of those days again, wasn’t it? He wasn’t even gonna give me time to wash myself? Alright, time to dust off the vocal cords and entertain this squirt.

“Fungah! Did you think your puny little jump was gonna finish me off, Mario?” I shoved the boy off me (gently), then hopped to my feet. “Demon King Bowser’s invincible! No one can defeat me, ‘specially not a pint-sized spaghetti-slurping plumber!”

“Are you a-forgetting about my-a ultra hammer?” DT reached into the closet and pulled out one of my white flip-flops—these were about as strong as a tough sandal.

“A’ight, let’s dance, pepperoni breath!” I got into a mock fighting stance, arms up like the Koopa King himeslf. “I’ll let you get in a punch or two just to feel good, but then I’ll roast ya!”

Immediately, DT swung the shoe at my chest. The kid was clearly aiming for my face, but he was a head too short. Then we went for my legs. All the time he was throwing in a “yippee” or a “wa-haa” as if he really was the Mushroom Kingdom’s great hero. He even swung back the flip-flop in the same style Mario would with his ham—

“So long-ay, Bowser!”

OW! He jumped and struck my in the mouth. I actually felt that one…

“I’m gonna crush you like a Goomba!” And I picked up the spunky boy, spinning him around until I slammed him (softly) to the ground. Then, as he screamed, I put my foot over his mouth. “How does it feel, Mario, to know you’re gonna die under the feet of the mighty King Bowser? Gwahahahaha!”

DT squirmed under me, trying desperately to pull my doughy foot of his face. Aw, I wasn’t even using that much force, and he still couldn’t get me off him. Hehehe… All that running in the gym caused my feet to work up a sweat, and though the socks should’ve absorbed that, the weather should’ve caused a new reaction—one I didn’t want to see myself but had no issue watching my little brother test. Just what he deserved for thinking he could defeat me so easily.

“Looks like all the life’s gettin’ pumped right outta ya, huh? Yoo-hoo, I’m talking to you.”

“CHOMP!” His yell gave me a shock, then he followed it up with an action. He gave the ball of my foot a nice bite.

“KYAA!”

As soon as I leapt up, the boy ran downstairs, giggling. Heh, two could play at this. He got a nice little headstart, but in seconds, I’d already made it to the ground floor. Somehow, Minh was in the same exact spot, my wet socks still in her hands. But whatever, DT was the target! Past the kitchen, he’d dived onto the living room’s worn-out couch.

“I win, Bowser!”

“I don’t remember giving up!” I landed on top of the boy, panting. “Why don’t you tell the king exactly what his royal feet smell like?”

And my feet returned to his tiny nose, this time, pinching it between several of my red-painted toes. Hehehe… The air from his nostrils tickled like crazy, to the point where I almost slipped off the couch more than once. But the longer I had my feet in his face, the more aggressive his sniffing became. Aw, was he trying to tickle me so much that I’d lose my grip?

“You gotta speak before you die, Mario! These things have been through the wringer!”

“Your feet are stinky!!”

“More specific than that!” My stomach hurt from all this laughter. “You’ll never go free with an answer like that!”

“Like those stinky herbs Mommy buys! Please! Mario quits! Mario-a quits!”

“Finally.”

Lifting my feet from his face, the sucker could finally breathe again. In just ten seconds, he did everything to get the stench away from him. Fanning his face, rubbing it on his T-shirt, rubbing it against the couch cushions, EVERYTHING.

“Are feet supposed to smell that bad, TT?” He rubbed the water coming from his eyes.

“Mmm-hmm.” I embraced him in a hug, kissing his flared cheek. “Which is why under normal circumstances, it’s rude to put your feet in someone’s face like that. I can just do it ‘cause I’m your big sister.”

“Are mine bad?”

“I don’t know, silly. Maybe. Just pray to the stars you never have that sweat issue I have.”

DT put his hands together, dropping to his knees on the ground. “Dear Holy Star Spirits, I wish that I never have feet that smell anywhere near as awful as TT’s. Make mine smell like Minh’s when they’re very clean. Amen.”

My jaw dropped. “Minh? Why are hers better?”

“She’s always playing with flowers. Maybe her feet sucked up their smells. You’re friends, don’t you know?”

Minh sat criss-cross, to the right of where my feet dangled. “What you two talking ‘bout now?”

“He thinks your feet smell like flowers.” Yawning, I let my left foot drop onto DT’s cap. “No, I don’t wanna know what those smell like at all.”

“I got good-smellin’ feet,” she giggled.

“She’s lying, Dane T.. If her feet smelt good, all her crusty flip-flops wouldn’t look like the bottom of her foot burnt a mark into them. And besides, she wore sneakers today. Without socks!”

Scoffing, my best friend turned to the side, her face a few inches away from bumping into my feet. As soon as she did this, I instinctively tilted DT’s head to the side with my foot. Anything to keep him from getting a whiff of Minh. I might have smelt bad, but her lifestyle meant she had to be a dozen times worse.

“Sniff my feet, Dane. Huélelos.” She scooted closer to him. “Toadette’s treating you like a baby. You gonna take that?”

Convincing a four-year-old was literally child’s play. Minh’s foot crawled up the side of his face until it could shimmy around to the front. Once there, DT started sniffing.

I noticed that his face got redder, but that was about it. It would happen to anyone in an awkward situation such as that. But Minh’s reaction was the real strange one. Why was her smile so wide? No laughing or anything, just a creepy grin as my little bro smelt her chubby foot.

Tap, tap, tap…

Ew. Imagine someone’s slimy toes tapping on your nose like that while they’re staring like they wanna eat you. Based on the cable box’s timer, DT was smelling her foot for at least a minute. So, I finally separated the two.

“How was it?” Minh asked.

“Wow… Can you teach TT how to smell like that?”

“Traitor!” I gave him a soft kick, making him laugh alongside the other chucklehead. “She probably just filled her shoes with lotion.”

She lifted her leg high. “Care to take a sample?”

“Hell no!”

SLAP!

“Watch that mouth, TT.”

Fuck. I didn’t even see the fun-killer approaching. My mom pushed me aside and curled her lanky body into the couch. Couldn’t even get me a napkin for the blood oozing from my lip. And as if I wasn’t already sick of feet, like some cruel joke, she put her giant monsters right on my lap. Not even ten seconds, and she was already trying my patience.

“Y’all are eating pizza tonight, I got a few extra coins today. Rub my feet, TT.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Thanks for not doing the dishes last night like I asked.” She wiggled her toes. “What you waiting on?”

Gah! Why couldn’t I get one day in fucking peace? While massaging my mother’s ugly feet, she turned the TV to one of those news channels: Jubem News. On it we saw something that was almost paradoxical. It was Princes Peach in a salon, getting her feet professionally done. Around her were a bunch of Toads, some Lakitu cameramen and too many microphones to count.

My mom sighed. “See, treat me like they treat her. Use your thumbs, TT! Come on, do I gotta ask Minh to rub my feet?”

Maybe I would’ve applied more pressure if I wasn’t coming home bruised every single week. Just thinking about the last frying pan incident made my left eye twitch. And this witch expected me to rub her nasty feet like she was royalty? Haha, fuck her. Better off asking some hobo in an alley for something gross like this, oh wait, she already did.

“I’ve never seen Her Highness’ feet on video before. They’re so big.” Minh sounded as squeaky as a deflating balloon.

“Not like it’s that noteworthy.” My mom pushed her dry heel into my lap. “I like seeing how she changes her look every other month. This time she’s going for some wilder hair and trimmed her eyebrows. Most royals too stubborn to change, but not this one.”

Princess Peach had been in charge of the Mushroom Kingdom since I was three. I barely remember who the previous ruler was or what they were like, but so far, I enjoyed seeing our princess whenever we could. There was just a fun to her that you never got from watching the monarchs in other kingdoms.

At the scene, a Lakitu asked, “Princess, tell us if you’ve ever noticed that certain foreign underground communities have made an effort to…capture images of your feet.”

“Why, of course.” She moved her feet away from the pedicure lady and wiggled her wet toes in front of the camera slowly. “Hello, creepers.”

“I was going to ask what you thought about that, but—”

“It’s flattering but disturbing the lengths few will go just to see my feet of all things. Sure, my feet are pretty dainty, but they’re not always like peaches.” She whipped her hair back. “Let me tell you, sir, and I hope those people are watching. If they even think of coming to Toad Town to tickle my toes, they’ll face a respectful punishment worthy of indecent scum. The tame option would be shrunken with a Mini Mushroom and forced to live inside one of my well-worn heels for a day—one with a smell so vile that even a dumpster can would cry—but then there’s an alternative too questionable to mention on television.”

And after Her Highness showed her pearly whites in a cute smile, the camera switched to another angle, one where her feet were less prominent.

“That’s so disgusting,” I whispered. “People actually stalk girls because of feet?”

“No one’s gonna be stalking you anytime, TT, don’t worry. If they do, they’re probably confusing you for someone else.”

“You don’t know that,” I said, squeezing my mom’s foot tightly.

“I guess. If you dress like a pantsless slut like you do at night, then they’re bound to rub themselves all over you and your feet.” My mom kicked me in the side. “50-50 chance.”

Minh looked up at me, and JEEZ! Her face was red as hell. And while she was dry outside, she was sweating bullets right now.

“You okay?” I asked.

She went to say something, but quickly shook her head. “Nothing! Just don’t worry about what she’s saying. The news guy said that these were foreigners, so they probably have weirder foot-focused cultures. Not us here.”

DT tapped my foot. “And your feet are too stinky anyway, TT.”

“See, you’re ugly, your feet smell like shit, and all this is about non-Mushroom Kingdom citizens anyway. All the odds are stacked against you, TT.” 

The screen showed a final glimpse of Peach’s large foot getting cleaned again, with the princess waving at us.

“To all my citizens, I love you each dearly. Until next time.” 

If only she had been my mom…

— THURSDAY: 5 days before the festival —

Yeah, that was back when I respected the princess.

Now in present day 2011… Fuck me, sleeping was a nightmare. I got so hot that I stripped to absolutely nothing. It was like someone had cranked the temperature up so high that the dial snapped off. If I hadn’t been hooked up to this breathing thingy, bet that my nose would’ve been clogged with boogers.

And although Minh’s feet were next to my head all night, even that had its drawbacks. You see, over the hours, my sense of smell had been reduced to nothing. All I smelt was sickness.

“I hate this.” I must’ve muttered that 20 times. Of course, my sore throat added more difficulty to this simple expression of frustration.

I woke up at 5:00, so said my phone. But this wasn’t my first time waking up tonight. Getting some shuteye couldn’t happen when every few minutes, I’d be drenched in sweat again. I went to the bathroom every time just to dry off, which lead me to continuously detaching and attaching myself to the breathing machine. At this rate, I was considering continuing the rest of my night in the bathtub.

When I looked at myself in the mirror, I groaned each and every time. I looked like a corpse—pale as a Boo, with the only colour in my skin belonging to my reddened nose.

“Thank you, Peach.” I reached out, pretending to choke her by her skinny neck.

After tossing the rag on the rack, I didn’t return to the bedroom. Why risk falling asleep when I knew I’d be greeted with a puddle of sweat? Hell, the Sun would rise in an hour or two anyway. Instead of staying cooped up in here, I could sit on the balcony. Just needed a roll of toilet paper to stop any snot that might leak out my nose. Oh, and a towel to cover my body.

Quiet as a mouse, I unlatched the sliding door and stepped into the cooler outside. And as soon as my feet touched the balcony, my heels went up in the air. Fortunately, they didn’t have to fear the cold for too long. Because in seconds, I plopped into one of the two plastic chairs, resting my feet on the small table between them.

Ah… Even with the night breeze, I’d have been better off sleeping out here. Not only was my body temperature lowered within minutes, but I could feel the sweat finally leaving my feet.

Okay, that was easier said than done. A lot of it left, but there was still a lot of sweat between my toes. Simple solution: rub one foot between all those little crevices. It took a lot of squeezing, especially on the smaller toes. You’d think I was trying to force mud out of those areas. With a little extra pressure, though, the sweat would come off or soak into the foot, where it’d eventually drip down.

“Can’t smell anything…” I wiggled my right foot’s toes. “But does my tongue still work?”

Considering that half of this balcony had walls on both sides, there wouldn’t have been any neighbours eavesdropping. So, now was the perfect time to let my curiosity get the better of me. After all, if I’d lost my sense of taste, meals were gonna suck balls. Hard.

I brought my right foot up to my face, and ew. The bottom of it wasn’t the cleanest, especially now that I’d come out here. I hadn’t noticed it before, but it certain hadn’t been swept in a while. There were little sediments and dust hairs on the upper half of my sole. Brushing them off did restore smoothness and cleanliness, but to get my foot 100% clean would’ve required another bathroom session.

Maybe that was for the better. I wouldn’t have gotten much taste from a clean foot in the first place.

“You’ll be fine, Toadette. It’s… It’s just dirt.”

My tongue trembled as it left my mouth. With enough coaxing, it made the dive to the middle of my sole. And since I’d avoided letting my heels touch the floor, it meant that all the particles were concentrated in one area: that pocket that seemed to be a trap for everything. Up I went.

As I ascended, I forced my tongue to leave its pointed state and flatten out. For the more of this filth I tasted, the better the sample size would be. It had already manifested on the ball of my foot. Without even chewing, I could feel the crunchy bits sticking to my tongue, clinging on for dear life during the climb. If I had one specific target in mind, it was the big toe. Doesn’t take a genius to guess why.

So far, I’d picked up a few hairs on my tongue, but nothing too lengthy. The big toe, however, had a large particle on it. While I would’ve flicked it away, there was an issue. It was pretty much smushed into my toe, like a flattened piece of shoe gunk when you wear sneakers without socks. Ew, and it just looked super sticky.

“I can do this.” No confidence in my voice whatsoever.

I closed my eyes and took a mighty lick up my big toe. Feeling that the grime bit was still stuck, I put the toe right in my mouth. I sucked and sucked, using my teeth to lift the dirty chunk off in some way. Believe me, this thing’s taste went beyond rancid, more so than the other particles which just had a faint saltiness to them. It was like dipping your tongue in a vat of cold vinegar. But with enough prying, enough suction, it began to loosen.

POP!

“AGH! GROSS!!”

Now it could finally join its filthy companions down my throat. I took one last gulp and slammed my foot down on the floor, panting.

“Yep, definitely can taste things! Least it’s not all sloshy and muddy.”

“You ain’t freezing out here?”

My mother had poked her head past the door. I quickly wiped my mouth, preferring to stare at the vast horizon in front of me. Being 24 floors up in the sky might’ve been uncomfortable, but the view was quite a sight. Especially when the city was shrouded in black. This was when Mushroom City was at its best visually. All the otherwise dull blues and greys magically came to life with bright lights everywhere at this late hour. It wasn’t even quiet, as it would’ve been in Toad Town. You could hear parties from every block.

“You’re from one of those colder cities, huh?” The woman came out in a sweater and pyjama pants, filling the remaining empty chair. “First guess would’ve been Nimbus Land, but they don’t exactly take kindly to Toads.”

“Toad Town…”

“Oh, like us then. Yeah, we only moved here about six years ago. You know, I felt I had to get my life in better order for the kids, so I looked for larger jobs. Had to get a friend to put in a good word for me, but now we’re doing a little better.”

“Little better?”

She placed her huge feet on the table next to my left foot. “If I could’ve told myself to wait ‘til later to come to MC, I would’ve. What are the odds that I move here at the same time that hobgoblin Wario starts wrecking the place? All that Scapelli nonsense running around wasn’t like this years ago, girl. All the money’s been wack since then.”

“Thought this place was always bad.” My speech started to slow down as I crossed my feet at the ankles. Because now I wasn’t just looking at my own, but those of my mother’s. While I definitely wasn’t attracted to them—no way would I be—I could still see the similarities after years of separation. Both of our feet were longer than they had any right to be.

“Wario had his own Diamond City. He didn’t need to come here, but give someone an inch and they’ll take a mile. Only thing I can guarantee is that the princess will take care of him soon.”

I had to agree with her. Slightly. After all, if Peach didn’t care at all, we wouldn’t have been sent on this mission to spy on the fat man’s goon squad.

“Are you looking at my feet?”

“NO!” I looked down at my trembling hands. “I’m just a little tired.”

Now she was laughing. “Sorry. You looked like a zombie for a sec.” And then my mom started nudging my feet with her toes. Again and again…

I couldn’t keep my eyes on my hands for long. Just a quick peek at the toenails would be fine, right? Unlike mine, my mom’s were very long, and she obviously hadn’t had a pedicure in a while since they were unpainted and slanted. To have her sitting to next to me without all the screaming and insults was surreal. Like a scenario that shouldn’t have been happening… And now she was teasing me with her feet, a game she would’ve never played when I was a little girl.

“I saw what you and DT were doing last night. He’s been making like deals like that since he got in kindergarten.” She placed her soft sole flat against mine. “Be glad the kid took a shower or you’d be unconscious.”

“Unconscious beats feeling this poison in me.”

“His feet can smell pretty toxic on their own. I’m convinced he likes it or something. I had another kid, and she was worse. Way worse. Every time she took her shoes off, it was like a swarm of stink bugs had crawled into someone’s shoe and died.”

Whoo-hoo! My feet were still smellier than his, so I had one point over the boy. But…

“Had?”

She shrugged. “Long story short, you know that big attack on Mushroom Bridge back in ‘05? Yeah.”

“Oh.”

Well, that turned the mood on its head. Oof… Damn, this meant that Minh was absolutely right. So, they really thought I died when I made that escape. How? Sure, there was an explosion on the bridge, but I still had most my stuff with me. Why would they even guess I’d take that one specific route back to Toad Town? I could’ve smuggled myself on a flight or taken a risky swim.

“Fuck, my kids got too many names. The girl’s real name was T. Ana Junior, named after yours truly. Then I called her Toadette ‘cause I wanted her to be my only girl—pretty fucking stupid in retrospect. But Toadette sounded too long, so the family called her TT. TT and DT, my angels.”

I pulled my feet away from hers and sat cross-legged, keeping my head down to hide my face. There might not have been any tears, but there was a ton of worry that anyone cuold’ve spotted. Even someone with a red mop covering their eyes.

“And if she’s not dead?” I played with my hands, unable to string the sentence together without stuttering. “If she actually survived and came back, how would you feel?”

“I’d be livid.”

Okay, might have to change plans…

“I don’t know how you were raised, but lemme teach you something for when you got young ones. Don’t get pregnant at a young age, and treat them like children, not tools.” She sighed. “I got some control over DT, but TT’s where I fucked everything up. Wasn’t a week she came home without me putting my hands on her, sometimes just for talking to me at the wrong time.”

She stood and gripped the edge of the colder balcony. “I kept telling her she wasn’t allowed to date. I got mad when she brought Minh over the first time to our house. I broke her nose once just ‘cause she walked in on me smoking a Fuzzy. I loved partying, drinking and sex more than my own daughter! I was some fucking mother!”

The air finally began to make me shiver.

“I’m sorry for my outburst, this is just…”

“Okay.”

“I’ve told Minh the same, ‘cause there ain’t no good reason to do what I did. As a mom, you’re supposed to love your kids, not have them like slaves around your house.” She turned around. “And to answer your earlier question, if TT just happened to stay well hidden all this time and suddenly popped up one day, I’d be angry at myself for letting it happen. But I’d be ecstatic to have another chance with her. Missing six years of my daughter’s life is better than not knowing the girl past age 13.”

“I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you,” I said, sniffling.

“Thank you. I really appreciate that.”

Chapter Text

I didn’t push the situation any more than necessary. No need for tears when breakfast was approaching in a couple of hours. And in this household, eating in your bedroom wasn’t an option. Mommy was always afraid of roaches dining if we brought large meals like that into our beds. So, once the Sun climbed over the horizon, Minh and I made the table.

Just as expected, she couldn’t leave my feet alone once seated. Underneath the tablecloth, the side of my left foot was slowly stroked by her right foot’s sole. While I wasn’t about to draw attention to myself, I did have to look at her face a couple of times. Every time, she had this lustful twinkle in her eyes. Like she’d been dying to be able to touch me in this way all her… Well, guess she did.

“I feel like my body’s about to shut down, and you’re still going on with this.”

She smirked. “Yes, I am.”

A few feet away, between the couch and TV, the boy was doing stretches. Now he’d moved onto that leg pull technique, where you pull your foot all the way up to your butt.

Every lifeform on this planet was out to tease me.

Now she put on a serious face. “If he can’t get close enough to the guys to get to the coin box, do we just tell Her Highness we failed? I don’t see—”

“I barely slept last night.” I pointed to my red, snot-dripping nose. “You don’t think I didn’t use all that time to come up with something? It’s done today, and my little brother’s gonna lend a hand.”

“Oh boy, today’s another adventure.”

I sighed. “Might have to postpone my little announcement.”

“Hmm?” She inched closer. “But you realise we’re on the clock, right? It’s Thursday, we’re already here…”

“I know what I said. I just don’t wanna rush things right now when we’ve got another major task to take care of.”

“I see. Well, it’s your decision to make, not mine.”

“Please don’t sound like that,” I groaned. “Put yourself in my shoes for a change.”

Just as she’d gone to speak, a strong THUD came from the kitchen, followed by a frantic series of clattering noises. Got a good chuckle out of me.

“Bitch is still as clumsy in the kitchen as ever, isn’t she?”

“Sometimes I’m scared she’s gonna boil her face one day.” Minh looked over the countertop. “Everything good, Miss T. Ana?”

“Sticky situation!”

Next thing we knew, we were on all fours, cleaning a bunch of sticky pancake batter that’d gone haywire. Yep, a familiar sight indeed. Those things never looked challenging to cook, so how my mother always had the liquid jump out the pan was a great mystery.

“Alright!” She whistled. “Ten pancakes came out unharmed. You three dig in when you’re ready.”

Minh hopped to her feet. “Don’t have to tell me twice.”

“Where do you work, if I may?” I asked while my mother squeezed DT in an overbearing hug. She looked like she was hugging a stuffed teddy bear, tightening her grip until the boy was red in the face.

“Talk about it later, I can’t be late again.” After spinning and giving Minh a brief hug, she approached me. Her happy face took a different turn when she got closer to me, however. What was throwing her off? The fact that my irises shrunk to the size of dots? No, maybe the way I shook caused her to raise a brow. Totally wasn’t those combined with how I jumped backwards against the sink, my breathing getting harder by the millisecond. Instead of trying to get closer, she gave me a wave, almost out of sheer randomness. “You’re a super shy girl, huh?”

She ran out the apartment, giving me seconds to regain my composure.

Minh, stuffing her face at the table, watched with embarrassment. Oh, poor me for being uncomfortable with a hug from a certain witch.

I immediately pointed at DT. “If Minh gave you the rundown, I’ll cut to the chase. You’re taking us on your next delivery today.”

“What?”

“Did I mince words?”

He slowly blinked. “You really don’t know how dumb you look right now.”

“This whole Scapelli family nonsense is about to ruin the Star Festival, and the princess tasked us to handle it ‘cause no one else is competent enough.” I grabbed his shoulders. “Our first chance was screwed, but your little occupation just gave us a second.”

“Easier said than done. You bring anyone else to the meeting spot, and they’re dead.”

I smirked. “Would they kill a woman?”

“Yes.”

“Even a woman offering them some nice, pleasurable company?”

The boy’s face got flustered the closer I leaned into him, my smile getting wider. Before he could react physically, I turned to Minh.

“Run out, buy us some fancy clothes, and call your captain buddy to come meet us over here. Tell him it’s mandatory if he’s trying to get back in Her Highness’ good graces.”

“What’s he gonna do?” Her mouth was muffled with four syrup-drenched pancakes.

“He’ll thank us later for this.” I rubbed my hand on DT’s cap. “Before you say anything else, how about I run off everything I’ve survived since taking this job? I fell from the castle; I fought a giant Blooper; Shy Guys nearly claimed my life four times; we got into a shoot-out on our very trip here. Combined with yesterday’s little adventure, I’d say I’m pretty good at keeping alive. Whatever these goons have doesn’t scare me this time.”

“Shy Guys?” His eyes widened. “Oh! That’s where I recognise you from!”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, that was all over the news for like a day. They showed a pink-capped Toad with Daisy.” He whipped out his phone. “Why didn’t I think of that sooner? I bet I could find your name from a—”

“You don’t have to!” Though I tried to snatch the device from him, I ended up falling forward as he swerved.

“The longer you go without a name, the more nosey I get.”

He was determined to drive me crazy one way or another, wasn’t he? I prayed that whatever footage there was didn’t contain my name being spoken or any info spread by the loudmouth princess herself. If he saw my name, our chance of following him on his delivery would go up in a cloud of smoke!

“Her name’s Toadette.”

My head slowly cracked in Minh’s direction.

“What?” DT’s voice nearly shook the apartment with its volume.

“Not your sister Toadette. Just another girl with that same nickname. I’m just a Toadette magnet, aren’t I?”

“Are you guys being stupid on purpose?”

“Pull up the article,” I said. “You won’t find anything contradicting that.”

“So then, why were you so secret about that earlier?”

“Because…” Think of a solid lie. “Her Highness doesn’t want me getting famous or anything, or else someone would easily track me through the web. That’d be a huge security risk to the entire Mushroom Kingdom.”

After looking back and forth between me and Minh, he simply shrugged. “Whatevs. Was a crappy video anyway, like 10p or something. It only clicked with me ‘cause you don’t normally see Toads with coloured caps working with the princess.”

“I’m just one big surprise.” And I let out a great big sigh internally.

Fortunately for us, it wasn’t long before the captain himself had arrived. Look at him, covered in sweat, as if he didn’t take a subway to get here. As soon as he took a step inside, I was quick to get on his ass about his shoes.

“Shoes off!”

“Woman, I literally just stepped in.”

“Doesn’t matter. That’s the ru… Ru… ACHOO!” I scratched my head. “Hehehehe. Rules.”

As soon as my snot went on his face, he kicked his short boots off.

“Say no more.” He pushed his way into the living room and collapsed with a look of exasperation. “So, what’s this whole ‘getting back in the princess’ good graces’ thing?”

Perfect. All three extra players in this plan were paying full attention to me. I got a few gross looks as snot still travelled down my face, some into my mouth, but I stood firm nevertheless. If I wanted this to go smoothly, I needed to conduct myself like a proper leader, including with my tone of voice.

“Today’s the day we put an end to this Scapelli nonsense for good. I don’t want to be tangled up in this family any more than you guys do. At least the adults here.”

Captain Toad threw his hands up. “She’s sick, and somehow she’s still gonna lea— Ow!” And he quickly shut up once Minh’s toes pinched his leg.

“This little boy here is our key to getting in. Get this: we go with him on the delivery, offer our special services to these creeps, and they’ll be so charmed that they’ll want to take us to their place. Once inside, one of us activates the mics on those coins, and we’ll escape while they’re not looking.”

“Wait, wait.” Captain Toad stood up. “Of all the plans, you went with the one with the highest chance of going wrong?”

“You got something better?” I filled the silence with the occasional foottapping. “Like I thought.”

“What’s my part in all this then?”

“Here’s the fun part. Two girls might not convince them of anything. But three’s a party, right?.”

It took him a few blinks for it to sink in.

“No!”

“Mmm-hmm!” I coughed in his face. “Besides, I’m sick. So if they turn me down, we need someone there with Minh.”

She gripped his arm tightly. “It’ll be awesome. You could use a feminine touch anyway.”

“He’s already got the voice for it,” I added.

“I don’t care if I’d make for the cutest little princess in the universe! There are just some things men don’t do. And last time I checked, didn’t Her Highness send you two to deal with this? Why am I involved— Ow!”

Minh pinched him over and over. “One, if we’re gonna turn this into a discussion on gender roles, you should be going while Toadette and I tend to the festival, decorating it and relaxing while you take on this crime stuff.”

“And two,” I added, “aren’t you the idiot who forgot to activate those coins we successfully delivered? You’re the fuck-up here, so treat this as your redemption in the eyes of the princess.”

The prospect of his reputation being on the line must’ve added a few cells to that brain.

“Only if Toadette promises to blow me afterwards.”

SLAP!

“How stupid are you? You really think I’d agree to that?”

“Handjob? I’m stressed, give me a break.”

“What part of ‘no’ don’t you understand?”

“You can’t at least pour me a strawberry shake out your tits? Not even a drip?”

“Hey, there’s still a kid in a room.” Minh pointed to DT, who had no reaction at all to our conversation. In fact, it was almost as if he was taking notes. Specifically, notes about me. His eyes were now focused on my chest. And thirsty from the looks of it.

“Why are you men all so disgustingly horny?” I groaned.

With the plan in place, we quickly moved into the makeover phase. As DT had to get to work quickly, this meant Minh couldn’t put her all into transforming us into supermodels. But looking sexy wasn’t the only priority. Hiding our identities was essential; this was a mission of the highest order. I emphasised to Minh over and over to make us unrecognisable to the Scapellis. Even if only one had seen us in crisp detail, ¬we couldn’t afford to underestimate them.

“Forgive me for what I’m about to do,” she warned. “This won’t be my best work.”

I sighed. “I just don’t want another haircut so soon.”

“We’ll work around that, ‘kay? You’ll still be one of the prettiest Toads in the world even if I make you as bald as a Cleft.”

“Well thank… You will not bald me!”

“Ssh… Time’s ticking, Toadette.” She sat me on the toilet, lifting up a thin brush. “Your sick skin’s gonna make it easier to achieve the look I want.”

In 20 minutes, I opened my eyes to see another me. If you saw me down the halls in high school, you’d think I was that one emo girl who always announced when she was gonna hurt herself. Black eyeliner created tear-like trails down my cheeks, my lips wore the same ebony shade, and she’d even painted most of my cap black. Uh…

“I can still see the pink in parts. Like it’s crackling.”

“The makeup would’ve been more compatible with the natural skin if you hadn’t permanently dyed your cap pink.”

My pout returned. “You never told me dyeing would have side effects like that.”

“I did.” With a twirl, she tossed me out the bathroom and yanked Captain Toad inside. “You’re the one who insisted. ‘Change my cap so no one recognises me.’”

“Right…” After dressing in the dark clothes Minh had chosen—a T-shirt with denim short shorts and black socks—I waited patiently by the front door. Soon she and Captain Toad would be ready. It would’ve been a fun wait if I could smell one of their shoes, but my lack of scent detection tormented me again. Hmph! At least I could look at their shoes if nothing else. I’d already seen Minh’s inside and out, so my eyes guided me to that of the asshole’s.

The outsides were only mildly scuffed, but what about the insoles? Well… I respected that they weren’t grimy. Had those been Minh’s shoes, she would’ve had tar, black bubble gum, old cheese, maybe some smushed fruit in there. They would be hanging onto life by a thread. However, Captain Toad’s little boots made me do a double take with how tidy they were. If not for his footprints softly marked onto the fabric, he could’ve convinced me they were very new.

“While I’m at it…” As dirty as it felt, I had to give my brothers’ sneakers a look. It’d be quick. And from what I saw, they weren’t as bad as I was expecting. Maybe he knew to wear socks with them at all times. Because aside from a strand of hair or other common dirt particles, these things weren’t bad either. At least on the inside, as the outside had gone through a war. Enough dirt to clog someone’s throat, and even small holes here and there.

Should’ve expected as such if he was running in places like a sewer.

Moments later, Minh emerged with lots of colourful makeup on her face. She looked like she’d rolled around in a field of flour. Her lips were a rosy red, her eyes were darker, and of course she was wearing some skimpy clothes. Skimpy but still appropriately gothic since it was mostly black and white. I must’ve been blushing hard the way I couldn’t make eye contact with her.

“Looks great, but I just wish your nails matched.” I looked at her blue toenails.

“Aw, what’cha gonna do?” She clapped twice. “Come on, Miss Captain Toad, let’s get a move on!”

The moment we saw that delicate foot enter the room, we started giggling. And once his full frame came out, that was it for us. Minh seriously had the nerve to put him in a maid outfit. Not just any maid outfit, but a tight one at that. It was so tight and tiny that we could see his balls as they fought for the freedom to breathe.

“You got him some really tight panties too?”

“If his junk was just hanging out, it’d be game over from the get-go.”

“And so you put me in a skirt where they could easily look up and see my…” He sighed. “This is so fucking insulting.”

I stuck my finger up. “Not a very maid-like way to speak.”

“Yep.” Minh poked his nose. “And if you’re gonna look like a girl, you gotta start acting like one too. See how well you can turn me on without being manly.”o

“How—”

“Try it,” she insisted.

He gulped, now doing his best to imitate feminine gestures. These mainly consisted of blinking his eyes repeatedly and puckering his lips. You know, stuff you’d see in movies from hookers. The man needed to work on his walking, as he was clearly foreign to the world of flats. It was easy to lose track of how many times those heels popped out. Nylon-covered heels, by the way.

I covered my mouth, dying from the sight. “Swing your hips, girl.”

“You’d better be soaked now.” With a look of pure hatred, he slowly rocked his hips from side to side.

“Getting a little better…” Minh took a step closer. “We’ll work on it as we go.”

“Which is now!” DT pushed us aside and scrambled to get his shoes on. “I’m gonna be late now, thank you very much.”

“We’re potentially saving your life if you attend that Star Festival,” I said, rubbing my arm. “You could show a little appreciation.”

“Sorry for being in a hurry. But money’s not exactly easy to get.”

“That could change.” I didn’t elaborate on my statement, instead making final preparations to leave. Bringing Minh’s bag would be useless since the goons could scan us. But we needed the remote to activate the coins. Only option was stuffing it in Captain Toad’s frilly little outfit and praying that they wouldn’t get rid of it. Now we were set. “Let’s go.”

“Where are your glasses?” DT asked.

“That’d make it easier for them to spot me. I’ve managed before without them.”

Minh shook her head. “I seriously hope you don’t have to read.”

“This plan is just getting rougher and rougher,” the captain groaned.

At this early hour, people were streaming into the financial districts of Mushroom City. With the streets crowded, this meant a lot of unwanted contact. And thanks to a new member, we couldn’t afford to walk slowly.

“Why can’t any of you keep up?” The energetic boy was rushing ahead of us, zigzagging through the professionally dressed workers on the sidewalk.

“We’re trying!” Had I not been so sick, running wouldn’t feel like inhaling sharp snowflakes. DT had the advantage of being perfectly healthy. On top of that, Minh and Captain Toad were way behind. One simply wasn’t athletic, while the other was trying to run in flats. Not a pretty combo.

The kid looked back at me. “How’s the sickest one sticking so close to me?”

“Because I’ve been running since I was young.” A slight hint of our connection. “No matter how weak I was otherwise, the average Toad couldn’t catch me. Don’t believe me?”

With a burst of energy, I shortened my steps until I was hitting the ground six times per second. Left, right, left, right, left, right. I then quickly slid in front of DT, gasping for air.

“What the!”

“Hello there.” Waving, I began to fall to my knees. “Okay, bad move.”

“Least you can back up all that talk,” the boy said, picking me up. “Maybe we should walk the rest of the way.”

The moment we entered the delivery building, the tennis girl was there, bored out of her mind as usual. At least the room didn’t reek nearly as badly now that we’d sucked the… Nope, no reminders of that awful scene. When we approached, she had a quick message for DT.

“Delivery for Melody Motorway.” Then she kicked a box in his direction.

“Sorry for being late. Wasn’t my choice.”

“What are you two doing back here? And… What’s up, ma’am?”

I squeezed Captain Toad’s wrist before he could make a rude comment. “We’re going with the boy. Look, after all this, you can be prepared to move out this city, got it?”

Ace scoffed. “Have you been inhaling bus fumes?”

“Come the Star Festival, everything is going to change.” I smiled. “I hope you still know how to swing a racquet.”

“No idea what you’re getting at, but sure.” Before DT picked up the box, she filled him in on what was inside. “This stuff needs to be handled carefully. Don’t go dropping it all over the place.”

“Like I ever do.”

“What’s inside?” I asked.

“Beats me.” Ace returned to typing on the computer. “Guy who delivered it kept stressing that we can’t damage it. So, don’t damage it.”

It looked no different than a cardboard box. Maybe the one who sent it in was overly paranoid, and it had some ceramic art or something. Something that’d boost Wario’s ego to the maximum level. But with the transition out of the way, we began walking to this Melody Motorway place. Minh briefly explained that it’s just a very long neighbourhood with a musical aesthetic and tons of traffic.

“Now I’m not surprised,” I said, sniffling. “A place that’s loud and cluttered? Perfect place to be handling secret transfers.”

“Or an idiotic place.” Captain Toad was still fidgeting in his precious outfit, his flats giving him endless balance issues. “They blend in, but nothing’s stopping someone with a good eye from catching them specifically.”

“I’ve gone back and forth to this place several times. If it was bad, I think they’d stop having me deliver here.”

DT again walked ahead of all of us. One thing I couldn’t take away from the boy: he sure did take his job seriously. Even when talking, his focus was strictly on the street and never us.

Captain Toad whispered to me, “Who’s the boy?”

“Family, but he doesn’t know we’re related. Don’t say anything to him about it.”

“I won’t…”

“Thank you.”

“If you give my dick a nice hug. With your mouth. While I’m drinking strawberry milk.”

“You’re not gonna let this go, are you?”

He got closer. “Minh knows how to suck well, but I’m trying to see how Toadette plays with a cock. If your mouth moves as fast as you walk, then we might have something.”

“Hmm…”

Pinch!

“Gaah!” After ripping his vocal cords, he sighed. “Well, it was worth a shot.”

Minh interjected. “Rude behaviour aside, I kinda agree with him, Toadette. You’re not a kid anymore. Enter the adult world and start experimenting with us.”

“What, you want a threesome now?” I groaned.

“Yes.” “Yes.”

“Now I see you two are perfect for each other.”

“I mean, we kinda had a little threesome during the whole Shy Guy mess. But you didn’t really do anything but sit there.” Minh hesitated, then made a move that made me shiver. “I wanna see you in action.”

While she had my left butt cheek in her hand, she would squish it like it was some clay. She didn’t last three squishes before I swatted her away.

“I swear it’s like you cloned TT just to make another best friend.”

They were so focused on having sex with me that neither of them noticed we were inside this Melody Motorway area. Wow. Compared to Piranha Plant Slide, this place had some style. Goes with saying, considering it was a neighbourhood, but even still, the brass exteriors of all the homes took my breath away. Even with all the cars weighing down the grey street, they all vibed to the same song—a jazzy piece that went really hard on the saxophone. Where did it come from? Hard to say since there were so many trumpet structures and even a piano-like bend as the road sloped downhill.

I continued to look in awe at the musical neighbourhood while DT spoke to Minh.

“Remember how she would always get grossed out whenever people kissed in a movie?” he asked. “Your friend’s acting the exact same way.”

“Believe it or not, I knew a lot of people who hated kissing scenes growing up. Toadette was one in a thousand.”

He directed us off the main road and between two silver trombone-like structures. “Yeah… Then I tried to kiss her that one time and ended up chasing her all over the house. Wait a minute. You were totally there too, that’s right! Then you pinned her down, almost got her on her mouth, and Mom was like, ‘The F is this?’ Heheheh… TT…”

“It’s okay.” Minh rushed to his side.

“Oh, don’t worry, it’s not one of those days. I’m fine.” He smiled and nodded. “Just another memory.”

“Great. But I’m always here, just remember.”

For as babyish as she could act much of the time, Minh’s displays of maturity were something I… I could’ve and should’ve taken some note from. I could hear the waterworks beginning to form as DT spoke about that past experience—yes, he and Minh did form a tag team to kiss me years ago—yet Minh soothed that with less than ten words.

“I take it you’re TT?” Captain Toad whispered.

I nodded slowly.

“Let’s see if I got this. That’s your little brother, so you ran away or faked your identity or something for a while?”

“These are where your captain skills are starting to show.”

“You handle one fake murder case, and suddenly every detail becomes important.” He was now up against my arm. “Guess you’re planning a big reveal to him later too, huh?”

“Yeah, but I wish I knew how. It’s… It’s getting pretty dang harder…”

He kept silent for several seconds. “Be happy Minh’s your friend, ‘cause you could’ve been doing this alone. Even if she screws something up, she’ll probably make you laugh while she’s doing it.”

Hearing that already made me laugh.

“Get ready, you guys.” DT turned to us. “They’re coming. Don’t act like you’re gonna hurt them, or things are gonna go south real quick.”

Captain Toad and I adjusted ourselves. I mainly sucked in snot, whereas he tried his best to keep his nyloned feet in those flats. Minh crept slightly behind us. Underneath this tall building was nothing but shade and a few yellow lights as we stood in the dark grass. It was hard enough to stay composed without the Scapellis showing up, but the moment they did, I stuck my hands in my pockets.

There were four of them, ranging dramatically in height. One came up to the height of my chest, and another was as lean as a giraffe. They all wore deep black business suits, each with a yellow-edged collar. And to fit the intimidation factor, they needed to have some shades. Considering how sweaty my knees started to get despite wearing shorts, the intimidation was beyond successful.

“Grab the package,” the tallest member instructed one of his allies. “Little boy, you’ve brought three people too many. We demand an explanation.”

While we trembled, Captain Toad being the only decently composed adult, DT didn’t sweat at all. “These three women caught me on the way here, and they told me they wanted to get work with the Scapellis. I thought you’d like some company, so here they are.”

Two of the men immediately pulled out red devices of some sort. Beeping sounds rang in our ears while they danced around us, aiming from our heads to our toes. If they were hoping to find metals, fat chance. All our phones were back in the apartment. But the remote…

DT continued. “If you like them, feel free to take them. And if not…” He looked back. “I guess you can kill them.”

What? Why would he say that?

The ringleader put a finger on his goatee. “Are they carrying anything, men?”

“No, sir!” One man tugged Minh, who yelped like a cat. “You sure we wanna bring in fungi? Didn’t they give our boy some trouble last time?”

With that look of deep thought on the main guy’s face, I started prepping for fight or flight mode. There was no way I could handle four humans, especially if they had firearms somewhere on their persons. Ooh… My heart couldn’t take this pressure. If I had to flee with Minh in my arms, so be it.

Yet seeing Captain Toad gave me a surprise. Because whereas we sweated bullets, he was back to puckering his lips and swinging his body from side to side. It was a very slow swing, like a delayed metronome. But of us “girls”, he was the only one trying to seduce these guys at the moment.

The leader dug into his pocket…

“Damn it,” I whispered and grabbed the tip of Minh’s ebony skirt. “Here it comes.”

Out came a small stack of Mushroom Kingdom dollars. Dollars, which could easily be converted the coins, the standard currency in this place. Must’ve been at least 400 dollars if I were to guesstimate.

“A delivery well done,” he said as he handed the boy the money. “Toads or not, our new sex slaves are not going to get out of hand on our watch.”

What was I getting us into with this plan? Minh and Captain Toad wondered the same thing the way they looked at me.

Suddenly, the three remaining men ran off elsewhere and returned with rope. Once tightening our hands behind our backs, they handled us roughly and began to walk us away from DT. I crossed my fingers, hoping I’d be able to see him again and make things right. But at the moment, the Scapellis directed us to the back of a white van. I was the first to enter, followed by Captain Toad, and lastly Minh. Though, as Minh entered, she let out a loud gasp.

“Ooh… She’s got a chunky ass, boys,” one goon said before slamming the twin doors shut.

Minh groaned. “Chunky…”

“You’re beautiful and skinny,” I said, getting close to her head to whisper softly. “When we get inside wherever they’re taking us, we gotta act fast.”

Captain Toad breathed a sigh of relief. “Remote didn’t find they.”

“Huh?” “What now?”

“They remote find didn’t.”

Perfect. We could still activate those coins. Only problem now: how exactly would we find them?

Chapter Text

Now this felt familiar, being transported to an uncomfortable place. Only difference this time was that the child had been replaced by a grown man in drag. Though we weren’t blindfolded, the back of this van had only tinted windows. This made for a dark, hot, scary ride. We sat in van for what felt like hours, a form of torture that made us sweat so much. If the heat kept up, all our makeup would be a runny mess.

On top of that, thanks to Minh being barefoot, we in the back of the van got a nice scent of her sweaty and dirty soles. Admittedly, the slight sour nature gave me a blush, but after an hour, it became like poison. Time after time, one of us would beg her to keep her feet pressed against the wall or something to get rid of the smell.

“Maybe you should lick my toes if the smell’s getting to you,” she giggled, also out of breath from the heat.

“Hard pass on that.” Captain Toad sighed, his red lipstick partially smeared.

“Do I have a fever?” I could’ve sworn my heart was beating 500 times a minute.

Unable to move his hands, Captain Toad rested his cap on my forehead. “Hmm… Asking if you have a fever when we’re in a smouldering vehicle…”

“A real answer, please.”

“I dunno. You might or might not. Guess we’ll find out when we’re in the building.”

“All because of our stupid princess.” I blew more snot on the wall of the van. There was enough to make a nice slimy bed for bugs.

Minh frowned. “She’s not stupid, Toa—”

“All these people working for her, and her best option is to send me, someone she hired to lick her disgusting feet?”

“You proved yourself to her.”

“I didn’t sign up for any of this,” I groaned. “To sum up the lady’s mind, the wheel may be spinning, but that hamster is fucking dead.”

While Minh sat with a distressed look, Captain Toad couldn’t stop snickering.

“That’s not funny,” she insisted.

“Her Highness may be my boss, but you have to admit, choosing you two to tackle all this is like appointing a baby to guard the castle.” He scooted closer to me. “Toadette’s the only one just saying it aloud, that’s all.”

She rolled her eyes, scoffing.

I glared at her. “What?”

“Let’s calm down. I don’t want to exchange in baseless slander against Her Highness, if you don’t mind.”

“Baseless?” Did she really think Peach could do no wrong? One of the many blind followers that plagued the Mushroom Kingdom like a virus. Perhaps I felt the same way once, but then I grew older and more sceptical of our princess. After the millionth kidnapping, you start to wonder if she’s truly a competent leader. And despite my mixed feelings, I went into this job with a positive outlook, believing that she’d maybe be sweet if anything else. But she came in like a wrecking ball and demolished that ideal reality.

We suddenly leaned to one side, then sharply to the other. At the same time, there was the sound of metal grinding underneath us.

“Duty calls.” Captain Toad stretched his neck. “Don’t draw any suspicion.”

“Easy enough.” “I’ll try.”

“Don’t try, Toadette. Do.”

A bright light scorched our eyes as the doors flew open. Immediately, one of the Scapellis motioned for us to get out. Since our hands were still bound with scratchy rope, perhaps they didn’t feel the need to manhandle us as they had before. We were able to follow them across the dimly lit parking lot without much fuss.

“Gentlemen, what time is it, if I may ask?” For a second, I’d thought Minh was speaking. His voice was so high…

“One. Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of time to get used to things around here.”

One o’clock? That explained why we were so warm and stiff in the van. My panties were soaked with sweat, and needless to say, I walked like a penguin trying to squeeze all the moisture out from my thighs.

“Where exactly are we?” I asked, trying to sound as sultry as I could with a dry throat.

“That info’s not necessary at the moment,” the leader said, slowing running his wet hand over each of our caps. “You will be summoned when the Big Man wants you. In the meantime, you three will wait in the basement.”

After pushing us into an elevator, we descended four stories. Then the doors creaked open, and we were sat in a warm, empty room. Think of a school locker room—very limited space and only one bathroom. Yuck, and the smell wasn’t pleasant either. It smelt like a bottled fart had been released into the air. My smile could only last for so long with a smell like this.

The leader gave us a serious look, scanning each of us like a cyborg. “This shouldn’t take more than half an hour. Stay put.” The elevator then carried him and his men to another part of the building.

With these suited-up monitors gone, I let out a deep sigh. “Perfect. I’d say we played that off pretty well.”

“Let’s wait to celebrate,” Minh panted. “Get these ropes off. My wrists are literally purple.”

“There’s good news and bad news. Good news is that that’s a piece of cake.” Captain Toad wriggled on the ground, grunting. But when the rope hit the floor, Minh and I stared in shock. He stood up, dusted off his frilly maid’s outfit, and raised a small pocketknife. “Bad news is we’re in a building with at least 50 floors, we don’t know where the coins are, and escaping won’t be simple.”

“Hope you’ve got a plan,” I chuckled awkwardly as he sliced our bonds.

“What?”

“Come on, I’m the one who brought us here. The least one of you could do is pick up the slack.”

He put his hand to his forehead. “It didn’t cross your mind to tell us that earlier?”

Minh stepped between us. “Settle down. If we split up, we cover more ground, right? How ‘bout I go alone while the bitter couple takes care of the rest?”

“Don’t call us a couple!”

“What if you run into trouble? You have no tactical experience.”

“I can suck my way out a problem real good.” She slowly licked her lips, poking at Captain Toad’s groin. “Ain’t that right, little guy?”

“Only one remote though,” I said as we entered the elevator. “And no way to talk to each other when we separate.”

“Well… Based on this panel, there are at least 60 main floors and 50 accessible to us. I’ll check out the ground floor, basement, and go all the way up to 25. You two can handle the upper part. In 20 or 25 minutes, meet back in the basement so these guys don’t know we snuck out.”

There she was, using those educated brains again. Considering that Captain Toad and I had the superior speed, it made sense for us to be at the top of the building. In case of an emergency, Minh could escape faster at the bottom. Still, the prospect of having to explore 25 stories was intimidating, to say the least.

“See ya later.” After stepping out onto the ground floor—Floor 1—she stuck her head back into the elevator. “Oh, Toadette, don’t use your teeth when giving head.”

“See you never.”

Off we went to the 50th floor. A fairly quick ascent, taking only half a minute. And in stark contrast to the disgusting basement we’d come from, the elevator’s decor was more than what I expected from a wealthy family. Lots of those fancy patterns that screamed “I’m a douchebag with money,” combined with the distinct smell of strong coffee. When the doors finally opened, the 50th floor was quite impressive. This was another one of those buildings with a huge rectangle in the middle and wide floors all around it.

Take a picture every time someone with expensive jewellery walked by.

My trashy emo makeover didn't help me blend in with this rich crowd, but luckily there was another girl whose clothes made her look like a real worker. Still, she walked like she had a sharp stick up her ass.

“Flats giving your feet a really hard time, eh?”

“If anyone asks, I just had a couple of pints,” he said, taking all the bass out his voice.

“Oh, and with these nylons, we might be able to make the perfect stink bomb if this all starts collapsing.”

“Don’t make me barf like a drunk now. My feet are pristine and ladylike today, as much as it hurts my pride, so—”

“My feet are more pristine and they still smell weird half the time.” I leaned down, pretending to undo the laces, to Captain Toad’s horror. “Just because you put on some,” I started before briefly sniffing him, “cocoa butter doesn’t mean anything. Flats and nylons create one stinky storm, just ask yours truly.”

“Someone’s proud of her bad hygiene.”

Hmm… Only a little proud. Now, finding these coins would be like an ant going through a cornfield. If they got mixed with any other coins, then our best bet was finding a safe or money storage place. But it wasn’t like we could just ask someone to hand us the money. Either we’d have to earn an answer, or we’d have to do some detective work.

Since the windows on this floor were visible from all sides, Captain Toad suggested that we check only the floors with independent rooms—floors that didn’t resemble lobbies. Didn’t narrow it down too much, as we quickly discovered on the labyrinthine 49th floor. Tons of office cubicles and rooms of crumpled grid paper had my head spinning. But fortunately, this method allowed us to skip a decent number of floors.

On the 46th floor, we both took a breather.

“This place is too big for its own good,” I groaned.

“Suits the fat man’s ego.”

“Ugh, I’d hate to have to entertain someone like that in any way.”

“Wouldn’t worry about that. If we’re still in Mushroom City, I bet he’s not even here.”

“Hmm?”

“Well,” he said, standing, “if his men are planning something big and ultra illegal, he’s not gonna get caught in the crossfire. He’ll be running things from Diamond City, his main home. If they want us to talk to him, it’s probably a video phone call.”

I gagged. “Not much better.”

“Ooh, finally something we can agree on. Sooner we finish this mission, sooner you won’t have to think about Wario’s dick anymore.”

I nodded. And so our search for those coins continued. Floor by floor, we scanned every square inch. When someone dared to ask who we were, our go-to answer was, “Interns.” Got a couple of strange looks, but we still descended four more floors without being detained. At the same time, Captain Toad’s constant squirming with his shoes slowly went away.

“Getting used to them now?”

“Kinda necessary— Hang on.” He waved to a man who was staring at him and blew a kiss. “Necessary, isn’t it, sister?”

I giggled. “Congrats.”

Finally able to keep up with my pace, he’d tackle one side of a floor while I did another. Every time, we’d reunite in the stairwell and share any information we gathered. By the time we reached 27, which seemed to be some sort of mechanical room, my exhaustion began to catch up with me again. I dragged my legs across the dusty floor, pinching myself to make sure I didn’t skip over valuable clues. Meanwhile, he was all the way on the other end, far enough to where neither could hear one another.

Why were there so many papers? All over the tables, some sticking to the bottom of my sneakers, they were everywhere. And with a disgusting shade of blue too.

“Oh, blueprints, duh.” I looked between the exit of the room and the stack of sheets on the metal table, trying to decide if I should leave or run with them. Well, in a few seconds, I was stuffing random sheets into my bra like an addict smuggling drugs.

I folded at least a dozen papers before something caught my eye. The first non-blue paper in this stack. A basic white piece of printer paper, filled to the brim with text. Logic told me to not risk stealing something vital, unless I wanted an immediate alert when someone walked into this room. But I checked out the upper part of the document.

“All juicy components for MCSFBOOM are to be stored on the mechanical floors, 7, 27, 47 and 57-59, until the cocktail can be produced. Floor 7 should be a storing ground for the NHS products. Keep them in the lockers, to prevent them being taken from any intruders.

“PT could expect more splashy power in the mixture. See if we may request more materials. We must prepare the batch at least 12 hours before the huge day.”

Next to the “PT” word, there was a drawing of a crown. Not any childish drawing either. No, why was this so similar to Peach’s crown?

In fact… There was more to the drawing.

“What are you doing here?”

That voice… It didn’t come from Captain Toad.

I spun on my heels to face the exit door and saw another man in a business suit. Jeez, they were all like rich clones, all professionally dressed. Meanwhile, my sick butt was sweating bullets and swaying with wobbly legs.

“I’m just…” I softened the aggression in my voice. “I got bored in the waiting room downstairs, that’s all. I’ll go back.”

“No, you’re staying with me. Them’s the rules, gotta keep on eye on you now.” He took a step forward, reaching out a hand. “Your friend’s been busted too, so whatever game you’re playing is over.”

“Wait!” I put my hands up. “If you let us just walk around, my friend’ll let you fuck him. Her!”

He continued to approach. At this point, my options were becoming increasingly desperate. I began to rattle off every sexual term that came to mind.

“Blowjobs, handjobs, anal, whatever you want, sir. We really can’t afford to get in trouble right now. Please?”

“Your friend’s pretty much alone, so—”

“Then I’ll join in!”

After squeezing the life out of my wrist, he began to think aloud. “Been a while since they gave me permission to use one of you sluts… Don’t get it twisted, that’s the only reason I’m considering your offer. Not ‘cause of your looks, especially those of a spore machine.”

He could insult me as much as he wanted. As long as I got out of here eventually, I’d take his racist blows.

The man kept an eye on me as he walked to the door. There, he quickly snatched a skinny arm and pulled the figure into the room. Lo and behold, it was a trembling Captain Toad. Hmm… Nervous about the offer or the fact he got caught to begin with? As he came to my side, he stared at me as if I’d set fire to his body. I shrugged, as if to say, “I’m sorry. What else was I gonna do?”

As the man unbuckled his pants, the captain whispered to me, “Could’ve knocked him out quietly.”

“He’s a whole metre taller than us, and my body is throbbing. Be happy I can negotiate better than you.”

He went to respond but let out a gasp as we heard the sound of clothes hitting the floor. And now that I saw the man’s penis, my face was tingling as well.

I’d always scoffed when boys bragged about having big penises back in school, you know. It was like they were only thinking about their own pleasure and never that of us girls. Believe it or not, every girl has a little thing called a “cervix”. And the moment something rams into it, it puts us on the verge of tears. Even if we could take the pain like champs, half of these pathetic guys were nowhere near the mystical six-inch range they talked about. Many had four inches at best, Minh could attest to that. As they grew older, nothing changed.

However, the Scapelli standing before us happened to have that legendary cock. Mentally measuring it, it came in at about eight inches. Not only that, but the size of his testicles made two eggs look like peas.

My vagina clenched.

“Maid.” The man snapped his fingers. “Get over here and start licking theses balls.”

Captain Toad squeaked, his eyes fixed on me while sweat rained from his forehead. No laughs came from me. All I did was motion for him to do his job. If I felt bad enough later, I’d make it up to him.

“I will cum in your mouth someday,” he whispered. He then sighed, giving his elegant dress another fluff before taking the step forward.

The Scapelli grinned at me. “You’ll get your turn soon.”

Fuck. That.

Now that Captain Toad was on his knees, he took a deep breath. You could feel the heavy machinery rattling as his breathing intensified. One breath, two breath, three breaths later, the first slurp echoed through the room. Then, like a kid on an ice-cream cone, he ran his tongue over the plump balls of the Scapelli.

Never in my life had I seen a man engage in sex with another man like that. No matter how disgusting it looked, I couldn’t turn away.

The captain let out his first girly moan as he gave the balls a squeaky kiss. Then he began to suck the penis just like he’d feared. You wouldn’t know he was afraid, though, from the energy on display. At first glance, you’d think it was Minh sucking on that dick like an ice lolly. The way he bobbed up and down, not complaining one bit as the Scapelli applied force to his cap… During this blowjob, Captain Toad even attempted to swallow the whole damn cock! He didn’t get it all the way in—it was probably wrestling with his uvula—but his mouth got disturbingly close to the hairy base of the shaft.

Instructing him along the way, the Scapelli stroked the Toad’s cap. “Bitch, wrap your tongue around it.”

“Yes, daddy.” Ew! Captain Toad continued moaning like a girl playing with her pussy. How he could stand to slurp that dick for minutes on end confused me. I guess when it’s a matter of life and death, you fight to see another day.

Soon the Scapelli was holding Captain Toad’s head in place. Then he took full command, thrusting his cock into the Toad’s mouth as if he were a sex doll. He went on and on, deaf to Captain Toad’s occasional grunts of pain as the eight-incher penetrated his throat. All the while, the Scapelli kept his eyes on me. Man, I felt like an alien in a science lab the way he was staring.

Checking out Captain Toad was the only way to ease my nerves even remotely. And ew, I had to watch him going through with a homosexual act.

Well, maybe if I swapped a few factors, the image would become more palatable. Yeah, of course! Just swap the nasty penis with my foot, and imagine he’s giving all that mouth action to me!

Ah… Much better. He may have sucked like a girl, but this happened to do wonders to my longer toes. And from this angle, I couldn’t deny that he looked an extra bit more adorable. Especially now that Minh had dollified him up. If he was embarrassed to suck on something like this, it wasn’t showing at all in his mannerisms. Mmm… Would’ve been a lovely way to get him to stop talking too, just gargling my toes in his mouth. Wasn’t like they were unbearably sweaty yet, at least I didn’t think they were.

“You!”

A harsh slap across my face took me back to the blowjob ordeal.

“It’s your turn.”

Hmph! He pushed Captain Toad aside and removed his pants completely so he could sit on the ground. His legs slowly spread to give me enough room to lie down as I…

Avoiding nausea was the first challenge. Not only was I about to give some head for the first time in my life, but I had to lick a dick already slobbered on by another person. Gross. On top of that, I spotted the faint white liquid oozing from the tip of the cock. So, next to a saliva dish, I was gonna have to swallow some pre-cum.

“Well, get on with it. What are you waiting for?” he asked, pulling on my braids.

Fuck it, Toadette. Here goes…

First I closed my eyes. They were about as tight as my vagina. Now with my vision gone, I let the penis slowly enter my mouth. How strange… The tip of it felt like a piece of wet rubber, and yet everything else had the texture of something you’d eat—all soft and squishy. I got about three and a half inches of it inside of me, and at first I only made slight tongue movements. If I could prevent my taste buds from registering a flavour, I would at all costs.

“Bitch, suck!”

“OUCH!”

With a punch to my cap, I choked on the Scapelli’s penis like a drooling baby. My techniques… Well, I had none other than to imitate what I’d seen Captain Toad do. That consisted of bobbing my head while swirling my tongue around like a washing machine. Ugh, his penis was also one of those uncut ones, so that was another negative. All that extra skin made the saltiness saltier, and I cringed as my tongue loosened some drier pre-cum trapped in the wrinkly folds.

But I wasn’t bound to give up yet. Not yet. If I could just suck and suck for a couple more minutes, the job would be done. Peach’s death could come later.

Based on the first two minutes of choking on this penis, I might’ve overestimated how difficult giving a blowjob could be. It really was a simple as slobbering over someone’s dick and applying some suction. Here and there, the penis came dangerously close to poking the back of my throat. However, this would only cause me to briefly pause before resuming again.

Right now, the hardest part was processing it all mentally. Not only was I getting fucked in my mouth, but it was by someone part of a family who’d tried to take me out. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, he was getting a little too aggressive for my liking. The tugging on my braids, the banging on my cap like a Spear Guy playing a drum, all those bits of pain were insufferable. How did Captain Toad manage to have a smoother experience?

Hmm… Maybe if I faked more passion…

“Mmmmmm… Fuck my mouth, daddy…” Never had I wanted to refer to someone with a term as gross as “daddy”, but my hand was forced.

“Yeah, come on,” the man panted, thrusting himself into my mouth. The pre-cum spread further, I could taste it lightly sloshing past my teeth.

“Fuck my mouth… Fuck it…”

This went on for a good while, my false compliments and pleading, and the Scapelli’s increase in pleasure. The way he continued squeezing my braids and now tugging on my hair, I was clearly getting nowhere with him. This jerk had one love in his life, and it was control. Just pure domination. He’d probably make for a good husband for Peach.

“Hey, maid. Come over here… Good girl.”

After hearing what sounded like extra slurping, I finally opened my eyes.

“Wha?”

Un-fucking fair.

Here I was, getting mouth-fucked by a gross penis, meanwhile Captain Toad was getting his toes sucked by the Scapelli! And not by me. Okay, he didn’t look like he was having a blast either. The Toad was deeply blushing and looking the other way while his toes twitched in the Scapelli’s mouth, as if he’d gone catacombic. And he was indeed still wearing nylons, so the Scapelli didn’t receive the full taste of his toes. But fuck that. Watching him get his feet licked like this made me scowl. Those were my toes. I wanted them in MY mouth at the end of the day. And I’d be damned if some stupid crime boy was gonna lick them bare.

“You like that?” The Scapelli asked him. “Like when I suck your big toe like that?”

“Um… My feet are sweaty…”

“Like I give a fuck. After I nut in your friends’ mouth, I’ll make you squirt just by sucking these toes.”

Captain Toad put up a smile to cover his whimpering. “Ooh boy, thank you so much. Mmm… Yeah, now that you mention it, it does feel pretty nice.”

“Told ya.”

My pace picked up as I went harder and harder on the penis. I took a lengthy lick from the balls to the head, before shoving the whole cock in my mouth and sucking like a vacuum cleaner.

“Let’s get these off, missy,” the man moaned. As his hands went up Captain Toad’s legs, reaching for a spot to rip the nylon off, I let out a silent gasp.

My power got higher and higher, and I was now audibly fuming as the captain’s bare foot came to light. And so, my mouth made an executive decision.

“GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!”

I bounced backwards, slamming my rear against a tall machine. It wasn’t until a bitter taste hit my tongue that I’d realised what I’d done. If the Scapelli thought he was horrified, I was terrified by his ear-piercing scream. To our side, Captain Toad’s eyes were as wide as they got. A look at the Scapelli’s cock revealed the why for all of this, for we saw fresh blood oozing from the tip. Just a bit above where my teeth currently were.

And it wasn’t a small cut like you’d get on your lip.

“You did that on purpose!”

“No, I’m sorry, I— ACHOO!” A snot bullet coated the upper half of his penis, mixing with the blood. On top of that, both of us Toads stood in awe as the penis began to shoot rounds of semen out. Spurt after spurt of white liquid, now taking some of the previous disgusting mixture with it.

“The fuck? You’re dead!”

In a rush, he lunged at me, both of us yelling at the top of our lungs.

CLANG!

He let out another roar, rubbing his head. “Boys, boys! It’s Leo! They’re killing me here—”

CLANG! CLANG!

In a second, he dropped as if someone had shot him. Panting and trembling, I glanced at Captain Toad. In his hands was a steel clipboard. As fountain pens rained from the nearby table, I slowly shook my head. Stupid me. What did I just do?

“Dumbass!” He grabbed my neck. “The plan was working! Why the hell would you do that?”

“I’m sorry.” All I could do was just stare at the ground. Partially at those toes that’d caused such a spike in my emotions.

“Woman!”

“Stop yelling at me, I’m sorry! Can I not make mistakes every once in a while? I’m just a Toad!”

“You chose a stupid time to screw up this time.” After throwing on his flats, he punted the Scapelli into the corner. “He won’t stay down long, and someone probably heard all the screaming. Let’s go.”

“Grab that white paper on the table first!”

“Why?”

I stared at him for five dizzy seconds. My trembling body language eventually convinced him to snatch it and stuff it in his dress pocket. Together, we bolted from the room, myself full of regret for taking that chomp. And as soon as we made a beeline for the emergency stairs, a siren blared loudly. It repeated the same message in a computerised voice.

“Attention. Attention. A violence emergency has been reported in the building. Four possible individuals. Please remain in your offices while security sweeps the floors. Do not leave for any reason.”

Four?

Chapter Text

I yanked the papers out my bra, slamming them in Captain Toad’s hand. “I can’t read blueprint language!”

“Well—”

Suddenly, the stairwell’s lights began to flicker. Not only that, but the building sounded like something had been shut off. However, before either of us could react, orange lights began to light up the area.

“Did something go out?” I asked.

“Don’t question it, it’s a good thing!” Captain Toad tugged me down the stairs, not giving a damn how the tips of my feet were scraping against the floor. In two minutes, we’d dropped from 27 to 16. All the while, his eyes scanned the blue papers. “Floor 7. Says they’re storing recent deliveries there first. And if their power just blew out, that means they’re on a backup system. A system probably focused on the elevators and lights, not the cameras.”

But the white paper said Floor 7 was for those NHS products, whatever they were.

“What about Minh? If she already found it?”

He groaned. “We can’t worry about her right now.”

On the 10th floor, our heels pushed against the concrete as we found ourselves before another huge door. Looked like this was another one of those “transitional floors” where we had to cross a long hall before continuing down. No problemo, except…

Rustle, rustle…

Captain Toad spun around. “Trapped.”

“How?” I twisted the knob myself, reaching the same horrific conclusion. “If it’s some computer lock, doesn’t that go off if power’s gone?”

“They spent so much on fancy looks that they didn’t have anything left to better escape routes.”

Really bad. Now what? While Captain Toad rammed the door, turning so desperate as to try breaking the knob off with his flats, I entered a panic. If we lingered here long enough, someone would catch us. But how could we get out? Ventilation? After the nonsense at Boo’s Mansion, I wasn’t in the mood to get stuck again. Considering this building’s safety standards were wacky, if we put half our bodies in an air duct, we’d probably fall through the ceiling immediately. All that money and these idiots just hoard or spend it on the most idiotic—

“Bingo!”

I pumped myself up, drawing back a punch. The look on Captain Toad’s face was nothing short of disappointment. And then…

POP!

A thin, white powder scattered across my arm. With just one strike, I’d made a hole in the wall the size of my fist. Hehehe. Now his previously disappointed look was one of shock.

“I totally thought of that.”

“Sure you did.” Together, we tore a hole large enough to break through. The dustier it got, the more we coughed, but I took my asthma-like sickness in stride now that I’d outsmarted those morons. Once we were in the 10th floor’s main room—looked more like an abandoned bar—we marched over to the elevator corridor. An elevator would be our only chance to get to the seventh floor in one go.

I pounded on the button repeatedly, my strength weakening with every push. In front of me, Captain Toad stood guard, slowly breathing as if he was ready to take anyone on.

“Cute,” I remarked, giving his delicate outfit a tug.

“You’re cute. I’m cool.”

Ding!

Phew, the elevator was empty. While descending to the seventh floor, I prepared myself as best I could for a struggle. Fighting under these conditions was gonna be brutal, but we were two Toads going up against humans. Humans with guns, nonetheless. If only our traditional items could’ve fit into our clothing somehow, we’d have an edge. But maybe the element of surprise could be on our side. With my speed and Captain Toad’s professional experience, we could handle these Scapellis.

Ding!

Here we were. Seventh floor. The doors opened.

“I failed.”

Right in front of us, Minh was hyperventilating. Her shocking sounds were joined with tons of injuries on her face. Bruises mainly on her forehead and around her right eye. While that made us pause, it wasn’t until we saw who the hand belonged to that Captain Toad and I did a double take. I gasped, he growled.

“We meet again, Toads.” The man had a pistol pressed to the side of Minh’s head. Its tip must’ve felt as cold as ice. “I knew your brains were nothing but mush, but I thought you had a little more sense than to pull another robbery on us.”

Illepacs, the man who cheated us in his arcade.

“Hands up and walk out the elevator slowly. If you make any bold moves…” With a grunt, he moved the gun closer to Minh’s head.

He was too cocky for his own good. He hadn’t beaten us yet. But I did as he said, and Captain Toad was wise to follow me. Soon we were against the end of the elevator hall. Damn it, why didn’t the captain just aim for his heart on that day? The human was walking fine and everything, so that bullet meant nothing. And right now, we were all ready to collapse from exhaustion, stress, and for one of us, a head full of snot.

Illepacs ramped up the pressure on Minh. “Always the slut of the streets anyways. Must be destiny that you end up being another girl for us, right?”

Her pupils gradually shrunk. I heard her sniffling, I did. Yet what the hell did she expect me to do? My feet weren’t fast enough to outrun a bullet, probably weren’t stinky enough to make anyone pass out, and Illepacs’ focus was impeccable. Every half-second, he’d jump between Minh and the two of us who could fight.

“It’s now or never,” Toad whispered.

“He’s got us cornered.”

“It’s that or become their property for life. I’ve got a bad feeling that if we get entangled, not even Her Highness will ensure our safety.”

“Hohohohohohoho. You actually think you’re a match for me!” Illepacs began laughing louder, provoking Minh to cry harder as he grazed the gun against her neck. “I could take you all out with nothing but my bare hands. If it weren’t for this sugar-guzzling fatass, I’d try it.”

“But like a coward, you’re holding hostage because you’re too scared to fight us,” I snarled.

His face twitched.

“I dunno, guys, if the Scapellis are meant to be this big and bad family, he’s not living up to the hype at all.”

Now his hand was shaking.

“You’re nothing but the family bitch.”

The man was seething, the pressure in Minh’s neck growing tighter as his anger built. However, what little fear I had vanished when I knew he didn’t have the balls to shoot her. After all, the Scapellis wanted us as special sex slaves, and a punk like him wouldn’t betray the order. If he could, he would’ve shot her the moment he’d caught her. Only Captain Toad’s life was at risk, as the Scapellis likely didn’t swing that way.

A minute passed, with Toad and I watching his trigger finger closely.

“I’m not soft enough to fall for your trick! Provoke me into letting her go, all so you can run off and make me look like a clown? Is that the plan?” He looked at the elevator, yanking out strands of Minh’s curly hair. “Maledizione! Where are they?”

After a bright, white spark, we heard sizzling all around us. The hall had gone nightmarishly dark, except for some green streaks of light along the floor. And this time, no orange emergency light came to our assistance.

“W-Why?” Illepacs spun around. “We paid the bill, the power shouldn’t be going out!”

“HI-YAAAAAA!” Minh took advantage of the confusion and elbowed Illepacs in the stomach. Not once, not twice, but three times. And from the impact’s angle, ouch! Her elbow absolutely splattered his dick, flattening the softer tip like a pancake. As he stumbled backwards, squealing like a little girl, she ran in our direction.

“Coins. Now. I know where they are.”

“Then after you,” Toad said, rushing her. It was only a matter of time before Illepacs would start moving again.

With the hall curved and the floor tiled, we bumped into the darkened walls a number of times. One move left a burn on my left arm from sliding so far, but my heart still beat fast. So long as we didn’t give up, we could get out of here one way or another.

Minh led us through another hole in the wall.

I chuckled. “I see you figured out this place’s cheap secret too.”

“From trying to escape from that psycho. Who would’ve guessed? Painted like concrete, weak like drywall,” she panted, wiping her forehead. “They’re here! I read the papers.”

And there it was! On the mechanical floor, there were a bunch of lockers lined up in a row, all with digital keypads. Though we couldn’t unlock them, this didn’t stop Toad from whipping out the remote. Even without seeing the specific cream-coloured case, there was a wide grin on my face, knowing that our mission was so close to being accomplished.

“Come on, baby…” He mashed the button twice for each locker, then ran past them again to mash the button a third time.

“Did it work?” Minh asked.

“I can’t call them without my gear, but if not, I’ll take the full blame for you guys.”

Aw, taking responsibility. Now he was working his way up to a night with me. We took a second to celebrate, then Minh grabbed our hands.

“My feet are starting to give out. Let’s run to the elevators, get to the car park, and we’ll steal a van.” She flicked Toad’s nose. “These are the moments where stealing is allowed, mister.”

“With what key?” I asked, following Minh as she led us.

She tapped her pockets. “We never established I’m a pro at giving guys pleasure?”

Toad sighed. “We might’ve gotten our own if your BFF didn’t bite his dick off.”

“She gave a blowy? Wow, my little Toadette’s becoming an ad… You what?”

“Well…”

Back in the elevator corridor, we were confronted with a new sight. Four more men, the ones who’d driven us into the building in the first place. And this time, there was someone small they were holding by the neck. And he wasn’t smaller than me by much. The moment I saw his face, I clenched my fists and stepped ahead of my allies.

“Never guessed our delivery boy would betray us,” said the tallest, squeezing DT’s neck. “You Toads truly are hopeless.”

“I swear if you hurt him,” I panted heavily, “I will end you.”

“No worries. The Big Man decides fates, we don’t. If you have complaints, you’re very much welcome to take them up with him. He’s live now, on the top floor.”

Behind us, Illepacs announced his presence with a cackle. Great. Now we had my brother held hostage in front, and a maniac held us from behind. Think, Toadette, think. Our options for escape were very limited. The first thing I had to do was free DT from his grasp. Then we had to get to a vehicle, and even after that, getting away from the bastards would be insane. How to do it all in one fell swoop? This was a nightmare—a nightmare I couldn’t wait to wake from.

“Call the elevator, man,” Illepacs shouted across the room. “The hell are you waiting on? Let’s go!”

“Excuse me?”

“Oooh. Um, is there any way we can speed up the transfer, sir? I’m just saying, they’re clearly ready to attack.”

The tallest guy nodded. “Get the elevators, men.”

Minh stomped her bare foot on the tile, with enough power to where my legs trembled.

“¡Muerde a ellos! ¡No importa a quién!”

Whatever Minh screamed, it led to a chain reaction. Instantly, DT took a big bite out of one of the men’s hands, making him howl in pain. As the boy dropped, he spread his arms out to take another member down with him. And that was my chance! While he was on the ground, I punched one of the goons. I then slapped another so hard that we heard a tooth dance across the floor. Just as a third one went to kick me, I pulled a reversal.

BAM!

A kick so heavy that his balls ended up in his mouth. Maybe. After whimpering and falling to his knees, the elevator doors finally opened.

“Come on!” I picked DT up, holding him like a big sister should. Tightly, refusing to let him go for a second. “Let’s go, guys!”

Captain Toad nodded, pushing Minh into the elevator, backhanding Illepacs as he tried to grab him. Before stepping inside, he gave a flirtatious wave to the Scapellis, lifting up his dress. “Kiss my marshmallow ass, boys.”

“No! Damn it, no!”

Illepacs banged against the door, and the other guys made a commotion, but we were now heading underground. Although, the elevator’s speed was way slower than before. While we had our moment of peace, I wrapped DT even closer to me.

“You’re choking me…”

“Aw, I’m always choking you,” I giggled. “Why are you here?”

He coughed. “Well, I had a feeling something bad would happen if I didn’t do anything. So, I thought cutting the main power would help you guys escape.”

“Main power?” Minh rubbed his cap.

“You know what main power is. Then first backup runs everything, second backup only runs the elevators. I ripped those wires up best I could, then set them on fire with a match someone left down there. They got me just when I broke the second backup.”

“In non-techno terms?” I asked.

“I gave you guys the best chance of escape, but they still knew how to beat us.”

“You helped us with that move, kid.” Captain Toad took him from my grasp. “Being crazy must run in the family. All you fools taking these risks.”

DT had no reaction to that statement. Finally, as the elevator slowed, I knew we were in the parking lot. The doors squeaked open, and the boy was the first to run to them.

“Hello, again.” Illepacs’ fingers were shakier than ever.

“DT, move!”

BANG!

All I could hear was a slow “Toadette” before I hit the floor. The next thing I knew, my stomach had absorbed tremendous pressure. And in seconds, that numb, jelly-like feeling turned into an infernal burning. I let out a scream the likes of which I’d never heard before. It felt like someone was ripping the skin off my belly. As I twitched in place, I felt Minh put a hand on my heart.

“T-Toadette?”

“I’m okay… Help me up.”

Dazed, I saw another struggle as she tried to lift me up with DT. This time Captain Toad and Illepacs exchanged physical blows. And on the ground, smoking, was the Scapelli’s weapon. I looked down. There was red oozing from under my dark shirt. Within that area was a pain both numbing yet throbbing like crazy. I couldn’t even react properly to it, holding still as Minh embraced me.

Illepacs threw a heavy punch at Captain Toad, giving our hero a bloodied nose. His human strength might’ve given him an edge, but Toad had the advantage of knowing how to really fight, including dodging punches and performing some special techniques. Just now, he flipped forward, delivering an axe kick to the skull that made Illepacs’ eyes pop out.

“You…mushroom!” Stupid as he was stubborn, he wrapped his arm around the captain’s neck, growling. “Forget orders. It’s time I kill you once and for all.”

“Toadette, sit down, please,” Minh pleaded.

Illepacs wasn’t the only stubborn one in this room. With a slow start, I soon gathered enough speed to where I felt like I was flying.

“Oh hell—”

With my cap grinding into his stomach, we went no less than five metres. All the while, I delivered punch after punch to his chest, practically making his bones contort with the final impact. Our movement ended as Illepacs hit the back of his head against a metal pole. And as we flew together, we fell together. I gritted my teeth, my stomach wound ripping open more as I moved. Slowly, I turned to my fellow Toads and gave a weak wave.

“Are you…” DT looked like he couldn’t find the words to say what he wanted.

“Give me the keys.” Captain Toad dug his hand in Minh’s pocket. “You two get her in the back of this van. Right now!”

Illepacs groaned, trying to hold onto me best as he could. But it took little effort for the two to get me away from him. “It’s not over… Not by a long shot,” he warned. 

While carrying me in the van, more bullets flew as the Scapellis shot at us. Some of these weren’t little pistols either. No, the sound of a rapid mini-explosion was loud and fierce. When they passed right by me, I could hear the whooshing, followed by the clinking of hitting the ground. Eventually, they started firing on all sides of the van.

VRRROOOOOM!

“About time!” Captain Toad cranked the gas, and in ten seconds, accelerated to what felt like this van’s maximum speed. Minh’s hands dug deeper into my stomach, I let out my first cry in genuine pain, and the rear doors swung open, inviting a hail of gunfire. With a gasp, she finally took her weight off me and slammed the doors shut.

But not without receiving some additional damage. The dark windows shattered all over my best friend.

“Starting to agree with me about Peach’s insanity now?” I asked, pulling myself up against the backseat.

“I don’t think they’re too happy we stole their van.” She pointed out the window.

I limped past her. Three cars were hot on our trail. Two of them, left and right, were two-seater karts. One had a Scapelli in the driver’s seat, and the other was holding the back with a pistol in his hand. Between these karts was a slick, black sports car with all four seats occupied. This made for eight goons to deal with. And when the main car’s driver snapped his fingers, all the men rained fire. Minh yanked me to the ground (crushing my wound again) and covered us as bullets danced across the floor.

“Why are you psychos shooting at us? Don’t you wanna have your ways with us?” Minh asked.

“Because you already escaped,” DT said. “Escaped, stole their car, probably stole some other things while you were in there. Why are they gonna bother with you if you can’t listen, from their point of view?”

Not good. Not only were we travelling at dangerous speeds where one crash could send us flying, but my body couldn’t take much more stress. The pain had gone from resting in my stomach to entering my chest and toes.

“Hang on to something!” Captain Toad threw the van around a tight curve.

SMACK!

A large weapon struck me in the back of the head. Hmm… Never used a shotgun before, but maybe this could help. 

And as soon as it was in my grasp, it disappeared.

“You probably won’t aim it that well.” My little brother observed the weapon from all sides before scanning the back of the van. Somehow, while the rest of us were deeply panicked, he was smiling like this was a blast. “Bad news: we only got two shots.”

“Since when do you know the ins and outs of a gun?” I asked.

“Does it matter right now?” After pumping the gun, he aimed outside. “Whoo-hoo!”

Bang!

“Missed!”

Bang!

“Alright, got two in one go. One of those go-kart pairs is done for.”

And the boy was also numb to violence. What the hell happened in my absence? Well, in order to help us, I’d have to endure seeing a bit of gore myself. In addition to the shotgun, there was a small bag bouncing around. When I unzipped it, my eyes sparkled. This little glow coming from the bag, it meant a lot.

“Our ticket to freedom,” I said, lifting the flashing Super Star above my head.

“Are you crazy?” Captain Toad slammed on the brakes, causing the other drivers to panic. Then he floored the pedal, causing a heavy screech on the road. “You’re sick, leaking blood faster than you can regain it, and that thing’s got enough power to take us all out.”

“Fine.” Pouting, I went back into the bag. “How about an Ice Flower?”

“How do they… It’s gonna sting like hell, but—”

“I’m taking the risk!” I took a deep breath. Now, as DT and Minh watched again in awe, the colour of my body began to transition rapidly. The black paint on my cap chipped away piece by piece until every inch was an icy blue. The pink travelled into my spots, and my teeth’s sensitivity increased while white air flowed out my mouth. This cool change was piling weaknesses onto me one by one. First my mouth hurt, then my muscles felt like someone replaced them with clay. Damn chilliness… After moving my fingers, tiny pieces of ice began to form. “Think I’m ready.”

I ran up to the van’s windows, my feet going numb with each step. There those bastards were, right behind us. Four in the car, two on the same kart.

With a medium-sized ice ball tickling my right hand, I hurled it at the sports car.

Ssssss…

My heart became a frozen rock.

“Why didn’t it do anything?”

Crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack!

“I’m hit!”

At first, the high pitch made me think they’d gotten Minh. But she was on the floor, perfectly fine. DT? He looked fine too, though he was staring at me pretty hard. It couldn’t have been… When we looked at Captain Toad, his left shoulder was red.

“Heheh… Missed my head. Toadette, Minh, one of you needs to do something,” he coughed, jerking the wheel harder when faced with turns. “I’m so tired.”

The enemies were right on us. The kart had gotten so close that the driver was trying to pull the doors open. Minh screamed, holding them with all her might. I came to her side, all the while throwing small ice balls outside like a maniac. It hit the kart’s driver but not the man in the back. He just jumped into the driver’s seat, leaving his temporarily frozen friend behind. And now the three passengers in the sports car reloaded their weapons, all while that vehicle’s driver gave me a wicked grin.

The Ice Flower couldn’t save us. Captain Toad couldn’t save us. Minh couldn’t save us. Slipping in and out of consciousness, I certainly couldn’t save us.

I slowly turned my head to DT, pointing twice at our yellow five-pointed rescue plan. Even he looked somewhat nervous. Hopefully, school thought him a thing or two about Super Stars. Not exactly safe in the hands of a child, or most people for that matter. But when our hands were forced, what choice did we have?

“No way.”

I shook my head, “If I do it, that energy’s gonna take me out.”

“How do you know that won’t happen to me?”

Minh shrieked, “You’re barely injured! We’re at more risk!”

“I am not leaving my mom with both her kids gone!”

Immediately, I shoved the Super Star in his hands. Before he could say another word, I grabbed his shoulders and looked him in his eyes. My heart was racing. The van felt like it was turning upside down with every sharp turn Captain Toad made. And next to us, Minh yelled about how her grip was slipping. With the little energy in me, I had to speak right now.

“DT, if you don’t use this damn Super Star, neither of us is gonna see Mommy again!”

It was as if I’d used the Ice Flower on him. His movements were minimal despite all the hectic chaos inside and outside the van. Finally, the doors flew open, with Minh falling halfway out. At the same time, Captain Toad tipped the van onto its side, and I braced myself for the damage to come. All we needed was the gunfire, and that was the end.

As I shut my eyes, the last thing I saw was a rainbow-tastic flash. So bright that I could see the colours swirling through my eyelids. And then a faint hissing noise as my body smacked into the van’s wall, unable to so much as twitch.

Chapter Text

A minute after the event, metal debris was still fluttering in the air. Not far from us, there was a formerly-pristine black car now cut into a million pieces, with its occupants barely moving.

That we all survived was both disappointing and miraculous. I was writhing in the newly formed crater, rapidly losing blood but smiling in pride. If they thought they were gonna beat us, they’d just been proven wrong. Right on top of me was my little brother, his shirt tattered. Captain Toad and Minh hurried over to us, the former holding his left shoulder, and the latter stomping on the asphalt.

“This was supposed to be a fun, happy trip back to Mushroom City!” She marched over to our injured opponents. “I hate you all!”

Captain Toad lifted the boy off me. “Either they had firework bombs in that car, or he ran straight through both cars’ gas tanks. That’d explain the blast. Ugh, stinks.”

“I don’t know if that’s the gas.” Minh helped me to my feet, then pointed down. “Take a look.”

“Toadette, you really need some shoe freshener! No one’s feet should smell like that!”

“Tell me something I don’t know,” I groaned.

All eyes were now on DT. As dust settled, we three adults came to realise that the game was over. I was no longer this random girl who happened to be named Toadette and bore a passing resemblance to the one who’d disappeared years ago. I was that girl. And however it happened, DT found out. I was too overwhelmed and dizzy to look him directly in the eye, but fortunately, he couldn’t have looked at me if he wanted to.

“You took a big risk giving him that Super Star,” Captain Toad said. “Boy’s lucky he’s just unconscious. I say we get him to his home before anything else.”

“How?” Minh pointed at the debris and vast empty fields that surrounded this thin road. “No cars, no phones, and we’re all injured. Not to mention, very far from civilisation.”

I coughed, dehydrated and disoriented. With little energy, I tugged on my friend’s arm.

“Relax, Toadette.” She leaned closer. “We’ll think of something if we have—”

“It’s okay,” I weakly said. “We’ll make it.”

“I know.”

Hoooooooonk!

Out the corner of my eye, a yellow taxi came into view. Captain Toad and Minh were puzzled.

“There’s no way he could’ve gotten here at the same time as us on foot, no matter how fast he is.” I gave my unconscious brother a smirk. “He was smart enough to have a taxi on stand-by.”

“Must’ve cost more than usual,” Minh lamented. “Poor Dane T.”

After grabbing our belongings, we crammed ourselves in the taxi. Once my shoes were on, the smell of stinky feet and gas was replaced with heavy incense. And several ours of driving later, the taxi made its first stop at the apartment. Minh determined he had bruises, but the Super Star’s effects made them fairly minor in the chaos. He could lay in his bed, explaining why he wasn’t at work to our mom whenever that moment came.

We retrieved our other stuff—our phones and Minh’s bag being very important—then our next destination was…the hotel.

“Sure you don’t wanna go to the hospital?” Minh asked, her voice softening. “Your stomach looks bad, Toadette. You could get infected.”

“The harder I work now, the less I’ll have to kiss Peach’s ass later.” I focused on Captain Toad. “Shouldn’t the castle’s medical team have a Life Shroom on deck? That’d get us through the day.”

“Heh. You wanna gamble on a rarity, be my guest. They’re gonna be very confused to why you and I are using them in a place like this.”

I scoffed. “Screw them, that’s my answer. We were on the front lines.”

Entering the hotel felt so refreshing after the Scapelli building. Rich and pretentious, but with a more positive vibe. Captain Toad immediately dragged me and Minh to one of the castle’s nurses, in a room on the second floor. After stripping us to our underwear, her conclusions on our conditions came in a flash. Captain Toad only needed a heavy bandage on his wound, and fortunately the Scapellis’ crazy aim hit him in the perfect spot. Just high enough in the shoulder to graze him, but not low enough for the bullet to lodge. Minh’s face was bruised, though she was the least injured of us all. This stood in stark contrast to my situation. I got a few bandages and alcohol rubs for my minor cuts, but this fist-sized hole in my stomach… Yeesh.

“We can get it under control in about a week,” she said, grabbing a bunch of doctor’s utilities.

“I need a Life Shroom right now,” I said. “Our princess needs me on my feet as soon as possible. Probably to rub her nasty feet…”

“I understand, miss, but we only have one Life Shroom. Your injury isn’t life-threatening, but someone else’s could be later, including that of Her Highness.”

“I wanna see her. Let’s see if I can’t get her permission.”

In five minutes, the nurse was back. Peach was behind her. Hmph! Royal bitch. The reason we were so hurt in the first place. Look at her, all covered in makeup, perfectly clean, content to do little else but sit and direct her subjects all day long. Once she crossed me, we exchanged opposing expressions. A frown on my face, a smile on hers. My next words might not have been so flowery if Minh and Captain Toad hadn’t been in the room with me.

“Against all odds, Your Highness, we’ve managed to activate the microphones on those coins. Mission accomplished.”

“So I see. We were notified the moment it happened.” She crossed her arms at Captain Toad. “How is it that she managed to do what you couldn’t while you were on safe ground?”

“No excuse, Your Highness.”

“Well, allow me to ask another question. What exactly happened that caused this mission to take an extra day? I know Penelope attempted to contact you, Toadette, and you never responded once.”

“We…” I didn’t want to tell Peach anything about my family, much less that my brother was delivering to those people. But why would she ask anyway? If we were doing this mission a day after the coins were delivered, then they were obviously already at the Scapellis’ doorstep when she sent us out.

“We missed them the first day, Your Highness.” Minh beamed brightly. “But today we got into their base and did the deed. Toadette wasn’t gonna return until she knew for sure that the job was done.”

“Oh, so you actually went inside.”

She nodded. “Mmm-hmm! Oh, you know, on that same floor, I saw all these papers talking about some chemical stuff. And there were drawings of you all over them, Your Highness. I think Toadette put some in her bra, ‘cause a bunch came pouring out when she took it off.” After looking at the nightstand, she pointed Peach in the direction.

Oh my fucking… Could someone just gag this girl? Peach’s demeanour didn’t change much after receiving this information, but for some reason that confused me even more. While her eyes glazed over the papers, I just wanted to whisper something to Minh. Something about how the princess’ lack of surprise made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. But knowing this girl, she’d find some way to make it make sense.

“Excellent find, my beloved Toads.” Peach grabbed the papers, then grinned at us. “I’ll have them analysed so we may get to the bottom of this. Now that you’ve done your job, intercepting these clueless gangsters will be a breeze.”

“That’s great news,” Minh sighed.

“Can we talk about my stomach, please?”

“Ah, yes.” Peach nudged the nurse. “Give her the last Life Shroom.”

“Procedure demands I double-check. Are you absolutely certain, Your Highness?”

“Toadette will need it. And we’ll need her.”

Behold, the mushroom responsible for saving people at the point of death. Normally, this and the 1-Up Mushroom are for people whose hearts are ready to give out. Tasting its sweet, blueberry-like richness filled me with some embarrassment. Knowing that this could be useful to others, it was so selfish for me to consume it. But the more the blueberry went down my throat, and the faster the hole in my stomach sealed, the more that regret became a distant memory.

Before celebrating…

BAM!

Whoo-hoo! The blow to my stomach didn’t sting at all. Amazing what ancient medicine could still do in the modern age.

“Knowing my luck, you just ate the one Life Shroom I’ll end up needing later on.” Captain Toad turned to Peach. “What do you need me to do, Your Highness? I’m ready.”

“You’re to go to the main field and conduct your security drills with your men. Focus on area closest to the throne. And with your previous mission having been completed, hopefully I won’t have to babysit you today.” With a wave, Captain Toad left us, leading the princess to focus on me and Minh. “Assuming the flower girl can work, you two have a special assignment.”

And now came the worrying. Specifically, the tapping of Peach’s foot. She may have been wearing a dress, but we could hear the expensive heel hitting the carpet. I crossed my fingers that she hadn’t been wearing shoes all morning. If so, we were gonna be in for a sweaty version of Hell.

“Don’t dawdle, Toadette.” Peach was already outside the room, Minh right behind her with a proud, dopey smile as she got her clothes on.

Didn’t have much of a choice, did I? I kept my distance behind them, trying to get a good view. Mmm… Those plump heels were as enticing as ever, every time they hit the ground. And even the deep brown dirt coat, though not my cup of tea, made my heart tingle. It outlined the shape of this woman’s foot excellently. After all the stress of the past two days, being back in safe hands and seeing something so nice was amazing.

Ah… Minh, what have you and your feet done to my brain?

Peach took us several floors up, keeping her silence during the elevator ride. Once the doors let us out, she led us down a narrow corridor that continued the rich aesthetics of this hotel. Gold and platinum walls that made you feel like you didn’t deserve to be here. But this floor smelt different than the others. As I sniffed…

“I can smell!”

Peach stopped. “You just realised that?”

My eyes crinkled as I smiled widely. My arms were still somewhat plain, so it seemed the Life Shroom didn’t cure every element of my illness at one point. But perhaps by tomorrow, I’d be back to normal. Just having less snot in my nostrils and the ability to was a blessing. Sniffing, the room smelt like some kind of kitchen. More specifically, a bakery. The air was so sweet, like we’d landed on an island of candy. One moment I was inhaling the warming scent of gingerbread, the next my lungs were drowning in vanilla.

Her Highness put her card key in an unsuspecting door and pulled us inside.

Would you look at that. Maybe not a candied island, but it was indeed a room full of sweet objects. It wasn’t too disimilar from the castle’s kitchen, only a little smaller and with tons more ingredients scattered around. Chocolate chip cookies, bags of sugar, chocolate syrup, strawberry fudge blocks, lemon candy, fiery lollipops, tarts, sprinkles, oh…

Minh’s irises overtook her sclera. “We get to eat it all?”

“A bag of sugar would give you a stomach ache.”

“Your Highness, I will take that risk.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself. You and Toadette’s job is not to eat all the goodies here, not directly.” She leapt onto the table, her feet dangling over the edge. As one of her pink heels popped off her foot, holding onto her big toe, she caught Minh in another trance. From candy to feet, damn, anything that wasn’t a drug could get her hooked.

“Knowing the pattern around here, I imagine you’re going to cover your feet with sugary substances, and then have us lick it off for some pointless reason.”

“Not quite.” Peach sent her heels into the air, one of them hitting my cap. “I’d like both of you to tackle one foot and decorate it however you like. Come up with the yummiest combination of ingredients your little brains can think of.”

“Why?” we asked in unison.

“Ten minutes,” she sang, rolling onto her stomach. “That’s all you get. Starting now.”

Of course. An easy enough goal. Making a foot taste…delicious. Peach may not have been Minh, but ten minutes was more than enough for me to make her foot just as good.

Minh stepped past me. “I’ve got the right foot.”

“Leaving me with the lefty, huh?” As I walked over to another table full of ingredients, I realised that this wasn’t exactly a baby-sized task. Even though I could cook decently, I tended to follow kid-level books for this stuff. It was rare that I had to innovate on my own. Just brainstorming took up a minute of my time.

Meanwhile, Minh’s hands were working overtime. In the same minute, she’d started to spread a kind of icing on the princess’ foot. She took a few cups of sugar, emptied them onto the sole, then began to spread the pieces with her fingers.

Time to rip a page out her book. I, too, would start with a layer of icing. But what flavour? Chocolate, butterscotch, cream cheese, strawberry…

Wasn’t gonna copy Minh, so butterscotch or cream cheese were out of the question. They were too similar in colour. Chocolate might’ve tasted good, but my butter knife was already swirling in the tub of strawberry frosting. And that was the first ingredient for my Peachy Foot Special. Starting at the heel, I worked my way down to the toes, leaving the little of Peach’s foot exposed.

“Ay! Ticklish, Toadette.”

“You asked for this, Your Highness.” You know what? After what she put me through, our princess could use a little tickle torture. With a cheeky grin, I loosed my grip on the knife, barely squeezing it between my fingers. Then I let it slowly comb between her long toes. As soon as the rounded edge rubbed those in-between crevices, Peach’s foot jerked back at me. “No, no, no, Your Highness! You want your foot to taste good, don’t you?”

Had Peach ever reacted like that in all the time I served her? I may have never seen her tickled before, but even hearing her laugh so loudly felt alien. If anyone was going to giggle at having a frosting-covered knife slide between her toes, it was going to be my favourite athletic princess. Daisy would’ve kicked me and left a salty footprint on my face. Peach was usually more reserved, but right now her toes were wiggling like they were on fire. Ah, but the sound of her pleading for me to slow down was like music to my ears. And I had no intention of stopping the tickling as I rubbed the knife against the chunky ball of her foot.

“Cinco minutos, Toadette,” Minh said, rushing past me with a bottle of caramel syrup. “Mmm… Can’t wait to see what you’ve cooked up.”

Five minutes? Tickling was now over! With nothing but strawberry frosting on her foot, it didn’t look as special as I’d imagined. Maybe some sprinkles could help, yes. I let them fall mostly around the toes, knowing a few would get stuck between them. At least there would be a reward if I had to lick them later. Still, there was something wrong with this foot.

Looking over at Minh, she was building a whole damn meal. Something that looked like it would be served on a plate. But there was one ingredient she wasn’t using. Whipped cream.

Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake…

As the white substance hit Peach’s right foot, she curled her toes again at the chilling sensation.

“It’s like I’m wearing makeup on my feet, what a peculiar feeling,” she said. “By the way, Toadette, did you know that whipped cream melts quickly?”

“Does it?” I squealed, watching the swirl of cream crumble. Its contents continued to spread on the princess’ foot, down to her toes. In fact, a lot of the cream was leaking between her toes. But… Aw, I couldn’t just wipe it off, or I’d ruin the whole frosting layer. Man, how could I have forgotten something so obvious? At least there was still enough whipped cream on the foot to change the flavour. We’d just have to see how much of it would be affected.

Peach snapped her fingers. “Time’s up.”

Minh panted like an animal, stumbling away from the left foot. “I think I did good.”

Oof. Hers put mine to shame in the detail department. While I gave the right foot a simple layer of strawberry frosting, some sprinkles, all topped with a thin layer of whipped cream, Minh had a whole event going on.

The left foot started with a coat of frosting (flavour undetermined) and moved to a second, smaller layer of another frosting. This second layer was only on the parts of the foot that would form a footprint—the toes, the ball, the arch and the heel. Between the toes sat two thick cookies. You know those cookies that are actually two cookies with a layer of cream in the middle? Perfect, because those were what she used. And the cream layer wasn’t white but a brownish orange, like a pie.

The girl even had the nerve to use a third layer of icing, this time strawberry. She used it to draw a large heart on the heel. Scattered across every inch of the foot, on every layer, was a blizzard of sugar mixed with cookie crumbs.

“Yours looks really creamy, Toadette. Yum.”

“I think my pancreas just died looking at yours.”

“We’ll let our judge decide how you both did.”

“Hi…”

My hand stung the moment I backhanded Penelope. All this provoked from the girl was a series of choking laughs. One day she’d learn not to sneak up on me like that… But before she could focus on her mother, she wrapped herself around my body.

“Are you purring?” I asked.

“You’re back…”

“I was only gone for a day and a half.”

“Was it only a day?” She pulled herself back and cracked her knuckles. “Did something happen to you?”

“Now, now, don’t worry about Toadette right now,” Peach said, tickling her daughter’s lips with her toes. “It’s judgement time, Penelope.”

“Yes, Mother.”

Penelope took the left foot first, the one I’d been working on. The first thing she did was rub her index finger along the ball of the foot. After a thick swirl of pink icing had wrapped around the finger, she slowly put it in her mouth.

It was already obvious that I’d applied too much for a single coat. The fact that she took a huge scoop and the foot was completely unaffected proved it.

Nevertheless, within seconds, her mother’s toes found their way into her little mouth. One by one, the sprinkle-covered digits disappeared. Well, only three managed to get in, and even they stretched Penelope’s throat to its limits. As she gargled the foot in her mouth, the girl’s body made endless gagging sounds. They started off quiet, then grew louder.

“Is she okay?” Minh asked.

“With my long toes, she might get hooked like a fish from time to time. Nothing she can’t handle.” Peach’s voice was too optimistic for this type of thing.

Penelope pulled her hair back as her face moved closer to the foot. At this point, her lips curled around the very tip of the ball of the foot. Any further, and she’d lose her mind. Something about watching a daughter sucking on her mother’s feet was… It certainly wasn’t normal. But when your mother is the princess of the kingdom, the last thing you want to do is disappoint her.

After releasing the three toes from her mouth, Penelope took a breather. She then stepped towards the right foot.

Now THIS was something we had to see. Would Penelope leave Mushroom City with world-shattering diabetes, or would we just have a hyperactive child on our hands for the next week? Minh put her hands in a prayer position before Penelope went to town on Peach’s toes.

She had to open her mouth wider to fit the toes inside, thanks to the two cookies wedged between them. As soon as they entered her, she let out a little groan. Or a moan. Hard to tell with all the sloshing and slobbering that filled the room. Though Penelope made noticeably more movements this time than with the previous foot. Occasionally she’d stroke her mother’s leg. Moments came where she’d play with her hair as she fondled the sides of her mom’s meaty heels. All the while, she stuck her little tongue between those imposingly gigantic toes.

After a minute, she dropped to her knees, now licking the toes as if they were ice cream cones.

I decided to get even closer, just to see exactly how Penelope looked. Hmm… Her eyes were half closed, and now her entire mouth was stained with different shades of frosting. If you looked closely enough, you could see all the pieces of sugar, with maybe a little sprinkle or two. Licking her toes was a lot easier than sucking them, which she muttered as soon as I sat next to her.

“Do you actually like this, or…”

She gave me a thumbs up. “The more I try, the funner it gets. I can see why Miss Minh likes this.”

As if to prove her point, she tried to stuff her mother’s entire foot into her mouth like it was some huge pizza. I couldn’t believe it. Penelope’s mouth stretched as wide as a frog’s. And even with this technique and the moisture Peach’s foot had received, only three toes were allowed in Penelope’s mouth at a time.

Behind us, Minh’s cheeks were flaring. From her point of view, who could blame her? If Peach’s feet were so big that a child couldn’t stuck on all the toes, then they were a paradise for a foot freak.

“Onto the conclusions, Penelope.” Peach rubbed her slimy toes against her daughter’s forehead. “How do they taste?”

She immediately poked the right foot. “This one’s better. It’s a lot sweeter.”

Not that I was the least bit surprised. It certainly looked tastier than mine with all the additional sugar and frosting layers.

Penelope quickly added, “But the other one tastes good too. I think the strawberry mixes a bit better with the…sweat.”

“Do I get a prize?” Minh squealed with delight.

“You both do.” Peach rolled onto her back. “I don’t remember saying it was a competition, just a test to see how excellent you could make my feet taste.”

“Like I said, for no reason.”

“Oh, but there is, Toadette. You two just guaranteed that we’ll set this up as a game for the Star Festival, a last-minute addition.”

A game for the Star Festival? Of course… But the concept of this game didn’t concern me much. It was the eventual implementation. Did Peach want herself to be the main subject? Or were one of us going to be subjected to having strangers lick our feet? Ew…

“As for your prize, both of you can finish your small desserts.”

“Don’t gotta tell me twice!” Minh took hold of the right foot, dragging her tongue from the heel to the toes. She couldn’t have cared less that Penelope’s mouth juice was on every single digit. Her tongue was ecstatic to suck all of that up while sliding between the toes. I, on the other hand, could totally skip the toes on the left foot.

Luckily I had a happy appetite. And so, after wrapping my hands around Peach’s heavyweight foot, I got to work sucking on the heel. A bit of sucking and a bit of grazing with my teeth, actually. The latter action made it so much easier to get the thick frosting off. And since many of the sprinkles were still attached, it felt like I was in an ice cream parlour, feasting on a delicious ice cream cake. One in the shape of the foot, but after the fourth bite, my brain accepted this. I was smacking my lips so hard you’d think I was chewing bubble gum.

For sure, there was a hint of Peach’s sweat coming through. It added some saltiness to this snack. And yet it somehow worked.

You could compare it to sea salt ice cream. The words made it sound like it would’ve been a disaster, but it really wasn’t bad. Quite the understatement, in fact. It was scrumptious. I slid my tongue all the way up to the ball of my foot and made a long journey back down, picking up every sprinkle. The more frosting that went down my throat, the giddier I became.

Over on the other foot, the same rang true for Minh. She’d already eaten almost every layer of frosting off that monster. And even then, she was still licking the drenched sole. The Toad swirled her tongue all over it, moaning loudly as Peach occasionally urged her to suck on the big toe. And when that happened, Minh had to massage her own face, as if to rid herself of the tingling sensation.

“I’m convinced that hiring you was a genius move on my part, Toadette.” Peach sat back in satisfaction as we mushrooms cleaned her royal feet. “And your skills seem to have improved a bit since our last session. Like your tongue has gotten the slightest bit stronger.”

Between licking Minh’s feet in the movie theatre, sucking the black stuff off Ace’s feet, sucking Minh’s feet in the arcade, and giving my first sloppy blowjob, hmm… It made sense that my tongue’s power had gotten a boost. It definitely didn’t get as tired as it might’ve from my earlier days.

Stuffing her mouth with Peach’s slobbery toes, Minh looked into my eyes. Was that more flirting on her end?

If she wanted my toes tonight, well, she could have them.

When we finished sliding our tongues across Peach’s feet for 40 minutes (jeez, that was long), she ordered us to clean this kitchen-like room. Penelope was more than eager to help, always trying to pick things up before I could reach them. Together we wrapped things up in a timely manner.

“Excellent. You’ve given me the perfect idea of how to structure this game,” Peach said, rubbing her wet feet on the hallway carpet. “Toadette, tomorrow you’ll go to the field where the festival is being held. Minh should assist you as long as no emergency pops up. You do whatever they tell you to do out there, while I’ve some conversations to attend to.”

“Understood.” “Okie dokie.”

“Hold on.” She pointed down. “Kiss my feet.”

My heart was both too exhausted and too fluttery to resist the command. I got on my knees, along with Minh, and gave the top of Peach’s left foot a brief kiss. Nothing major, nothing with love. Just a little peck. Minh just had to go the extra mile and add in sound effects. What’s more, her lipstick from this morning left a soft mark on the princess’ foot. 

“Cute.” With a lengthy twirl, Peach danced into the elevator. “Now that the spy coin is taken care of, we’ll be able to relax a little more. And more importantly, I can relax a little more.”

The door shut before Penelope could enter. The little goober ended up bumping her head and falling back. For someone her age, she sure knew how to not cry from injuries. Just stubbing my toe as a child would turn me into an inconsolable wreck.

“I’ll be on the field too, Miss Toadette.” She called for another elevator, pressing a thousand times while Minh and I giggled at her. “Hope I see you there.”

“Feeling’s mutual,” I said with a smile, ruffling her yellow hair. “Oh! Before you go, do you think you can help me with something?”

“No problem.”

“How do I get in contact with Sarasaland’s stink-footed leader?”

Chapter Text

With some sunlight still on the Thursday horizon, Minh and I lay by the hotel pool. We were sort of in our own area, at a very obscure angle where nobody could see us easily. And so, my best friend had the perfect opportunity to taste my sweaty feet. Very smelly too, another reason we wanted to stay out of sight. Last thing we needed was someone passing out. All that running around this morning had made them as slippery as butter and as noxious as onions.

Yet here Minh was, licking away without a care in the world.

“This is the kind of relief I want after jobs like this,” she said with my toes in her mouth.

“We should take a dip in the pool sometime, but totally. I feel I’m owed a full body massage at this point.”

“So, big sister Toadette, what are we gonna do about little brother?”

I groaned, trying to push the matter out of my mind. “Two possibilities: either he forgets today’s events, or he remembers and will end up freaking out.”

“Well, the longer you keep him in the dark, the worse it’ll get.”

“I wish you were really wrong, you know?”

She chuckled, burying her face into both of my soles. “I do too, but let’s not pretend he’s stupid.”

“I know.” I pulled out my phone and punched in the new number Penelope had given me. Once the dial tone stopped, a voice came through on the other end.

“Who’s this, and how did you get my private line? Ten seconds before I have you arrested.”

“Thought you needed permission from the Mushroom Kingdom to conduct an arrest here.”

“That sarcasm… You know, nobody gets away talking to me in that tone, Toadette.”

“I am,” I spoke with a grin. “What? Were you gonna send your new Shy Guy army to arrest me personally? Could they even?”

“You’d be surprised. Importing a military’s way easier than building one from scratch. We’ve seen a lot less…” Princess Daisy paused. “I’m in bed, what are you calling for? I know it can’t just be some casual chat. Unless you’re fiending for my feet.”

I gulped. “Well…”

“You been thinking about sucking my toes?”

“I… You have open spots in your country’s tennis teams, right?”

“I don’t think tennis is a Toad’s sport considering your guys’ thin arms.”

I scoffed. “Rude! I’ve got a girl you might wanna add. Younger, bit of an ego, you two would get along nicely.”

“You could’ve just sent her.”

“She’s broke, and we’re all in a dangerous situation right now. We need her there as soon as possible.”

“We don’t get paid to extract citizens into our land, Toadette.” Daisy yawned, her phone rustling against her clothing. “Peach would fine us big-time if we’re caught for that. She’s gotta come here.”

“What if you came to the Star Festival and left with her?”

“And have Peach whine about me stealing the attention from her? I’d rather stick a cactus up my—”

“Please?” I started to sound more whiny. “Please? Don’t you wanna try me out again?”

“Mmmmmmm…” Daisy mumbled something unintelligible. And the call ended. Well, no sign on if that mission was going anywhere. Maybe if I got lucky, she’d call me when she was wide awake. Or not. With that out the way, I squirmed back in my chair, now rubbing my hands as Minh caressed the tops of my feet. Forget about my current tongue endurance. Hers was something I needed to take notes from. It seemed like she could go on for days at a time, her tongue never getting tired or dry.

I breathed harder as she licked along my arches. There was something about that spot that forced me to grip the arms of my chair, and I let out a sigh of both confusion and satisfaction. If having your feet licked could get you drunk, then I was already in that tipsy stage. World spinning…

Ooh… Now she was licking around my big toe… Sucking on my heel… Really curving her tongue around my smaller toes…

“Least I’m the first to taste these sweaty beauties all day,” she moaned. “Taxi ride was driving me crazy, being able to smell ‘em but not sniff ‘em.”

“I still can’t decide if it’s cute you’ve liked me like this since we were young, or if it’s creepy.”

“¿Por qué no los dos?" The bottom of her tongue tickled the ball of my foot, causing my toes to flex uncontrollably. Seizing the opportunity, Minh gobbled my toes as they wiggled in her wide mouth. And having come out of my sneakers, they weren’t the cleanest in the world. All the heat had caused sock fuzz to cling to to my feet. But for Minh, this was like sprinkling seasoning all over chicken. Every time a bit of fuzz stuck to her lower lip, she’d giggle and slurp it up. And hey, it wasn’t a toe jam infection, so it wasn’t sickening either. 

“Minh, your tongue…” I gritted my teeth, forced to gasp and groan as Minh nibbled on my tiniest toe.

Covering up my joy took a great deal of effort. When I wasn’t looking at my phone and browsing the pixelated gallery, I was staring at the beautiful sunset past Minh’s head. That was one thing Mushroom City still had—its sunsets were stunning to gaze into. All in all, this was the most pleasant moment I’d had since the Scapelli drama.

This rich hotel in front of me, a bottle of sparkling water, Minh fondling my feet, Captain Toad’s chest, a vivid evening sky—

“Why do you people keep sneaking up on me?” I tucked my knees into my chest, the saliva preventing my feet from staying still.

Captain Toad wiped the dripping water from his cap. It was like he was happy to have it instead glisten against his flat chest. Didn’t he have stuff to do today? When did he have time to take a splash, and how did neither of us see him?

“You’re a fun person to be around, Toadette.” He pointed to Minh. “Every hour I spend with you, I’m finding out something new about you or her.”

Minh immediately pounced to cover his mouth. Apparently she’d forgotten that he could react faster than us, and she ended up falling face first into one of my sneakers. With a shrug, Captain Toad sat next to my feet, rubbing his…

He was barefoot.

He gave Minh’s butt a push with his right foot. “Sucks ass but I’m glad to know my suspicions of you being a foot faggot were true all along. Now the whole sleeping at the end of a bed thing makes total sense.”

“I’m quirky,” she huffed, taking a big whiff of my toxic shoe odour.

“Translation: I’m a freak who sucks toes despite it being sick. Don’t romanticise it.”

She scoffed. “I’m a freak?”

I kicked his side. “Get the stick out your ass! If she could get rid of that, don’t you think she would?”

Minh stood up, my shoe falling off her face after a second of being stuck. But why did she look so calm? She should’ve been more upset, not smiling.

Her voice deepened. “Toadette, Mr Please-Peg-Me here can’t get the stick out his ass if he tried…” 

“What?”

“Well, well, if liking feet makes me the ugliest faggot in the world, I guess no one’s gonna be able to satisfy you when you go from captain to private. You know what I mean.”

He clenched his fists. “No, I don’t!”

“The stick only goes deeper,” she chuckled, wagging her middle finger.

I stared blankly. Seriously, what the hell was either of them talking about? Private? Like private parts? None of this made any sense. And the back-and-forth went on for another half minute before I set my foot down.

“We had the worst morning, and the first thing you two do is start arguing? Really?”

“So, now two people know about just one of your secret desires.” Minh grabbed Captain Toad’s wrist. “If you wanna keep it that way, you’re gonna keep your lips zipped about my dirty secret. Right?”

“…”

“And by the way, now that we’re both out the closet, you’re totally gonna let me play with your feet, aren’t you? Unless you can live without having your back door—”

“Yes, I was gonna keep your thing secret anyway!”

Minh blinked. “Oh.”

He threw his head back. “I should’ve just walked away when I had the chance. I can’t handle a mouthful of bugs, especially not when they crawled from between your gross…” Now his hands covered his mouth.

“I was exploring a humid jungle that day.” Her voice returned to its high pitch. “You’re gonna get used to sucking foot filth, but it ain’t gonna have bugs or nothing like that. A little salt ‘n’ toe jam ain’t ever killed anybody.”

“Remember that when you attend my burial.” Captain Toad turned to me and scratched the tops of my feet. “Now we gotta make you one of us. What’s your turn-on, Toadette?”

“I like manly men. Which you are not. That’s all.”

“Bullshit.” He continued to rub my feet while staring at my face. Was he trying to gauge my reaction? Heh, I wasn’t gullible. I could keep a poker face no matter what tricks he pulled. But he was determined, and now he wiggled his fingers under my arches as they were flat on the chair. “You think I forgot how you asked me if I’d smell your sweaty feet? You know, right before I chugged down your milk?”

I gasped, stumbling over my next words. “T-That was a hypothetical!”

“Toadette?” Minh cocked her head.

“Nobody who doesn’t want her feet sniffed would ask that, even hypothetically.”

“I’m that girl.”

“You’re the girl hired to be Her Highness’ foot slave, yes? Almost every day has brought you into contact with feet. Obviously you’re comfortable running your tongue on Minh’s taste-destroyers. And what was she doing to you not five minutes ago?” He mockingly blew hot air over my wet toes. “You two seem more similar than you think.”

“We’re really not.”

He chuckled, sticking his leg in the air. “Yeah, you are.”

“No. I am not into feet. I…” This asshole was getting me red for the wrong reasons. “I AM NOT INTO FEET! QUIT LAUGHING AT ME BEFORE I SHOVE MINE DOWN YOUR SLICK THROAT!”

“Rawr! That cute aggressiveness sends chills down my spine.” He dusted his hands, rising from the chair. “Well, if you don’t have a foot fetish, then you should have no issue helping me out.”

“Yeah, I have no problem stomping your dick to pieces.”

“You wouldn’t kill the dick you’re dying to suck. That’s for later though.”

After walking some distance, he motioned for Minh and me to follow. As much as I didn’t want to, I found myself at his room door.

“I’m not looking for much, Toadette,” he said, ushering us into the room, albeit at a slower speed than normal. It was identical to ours, only with more guard equipment instead of female clothing. “Soon as I’m out the shower, you’re gonna rub my feet. Every part of me’s sore, but especially—”

Minh froze. “You won’t give us the same treatment?”

“She ate a Life Shroom, and you’re looking good. If anyone deserves a massage, it’s me.”

It didn’t make a difference to me. “Pssh… And here I thought you were gonna give me a an actual challenge.”

He stuck a finger up. “I can be sweet when I’m in the mood. Ooh, I’ll be even nicer. You should know what while your hands are on my feet, I’ll have my eyes on you. So now you won’t be surprised when I catch you slipping up.”

“Get ready to look like an even bigger idiot than you already are.”

His time in the shower gave me time to mentally prepare myself. Without anything to distract me, I’d have to remove all signs that I was interested in rubbing his feet. The blush was the most important. If he saw my face glowing, he’d know there was an intense emotion going on inside me, and it probably wasn’t hatred.

When he came out, any foul odour was covered by a layer of what I could only guess was cologne. I expected his clothes to have some camo pattern though, not a loose T-shirt with baggy sweatpants.

“Get ready!” He knocked me off my feet in his dash to jump onto the bed. Ugh, such a kid! All he was missing was a pile of stuffed animals to dive into. As he propped himself up against the pillows, he made sure his feet were as close to the end of the bed as they could reach. But he’d stopped when he’d realised he’d been too short to dangle them off the mattress. “Guess you gotta hop up here, too.”

“Good. I’ll make myself comfy.” My words were tough, but my insides were trembling. Sitting on the bed meant his feet would be closer to my crotch. And even if I were to lie in an awkward position, they’d be too close to my chest for comfort. Add one more point to the difficulty meter.

He patted the spot next to him. “Minh”

No! That was not part of our agreement! He was doing everything in his power to make me nervous!

“Sure you want this? ‘Cause I’m real stinky right now,” she said, pointing at her dirty cap.

“Not like we have to wash the sheets; let housekeeping do their fucking job.” He grabbed her arm as soon as she was within reach. “While Toadette gets off to me, open your mouth.”

I refused to get off to him like this. And ew… His wanting to taste her meant I ended up with four feet in front of me. One pair clean, the other dirty and sweaty. Since Minh’s feet were so dirty, maybe I could ignore them a little. After all, brushing dirt out from between my teeth wasn’t my idea of a good night. But their shape, that curvature, I couldn’t resist looking. Why did she have to wiggle her toes so slowly and hypnotically?

Captain Toad began to stroke her hair and leaned in for a kiss. Minh gave him a peck right on the mouth. Their lips eventually locked, resulting in a series of moans. As she opened her mouth and let her tongue flick against Captain Toad’s lips, the loudest moans came from the sex-obsessed Toad.

Which one? Who cares?

I didn’t need to pay attention to their animalistic, disgusting tongue-kissing. Without a command, I began the foot massage. And since I had more experience under my belt now, I could guarantee it wouldn’t be bad in the slightest. I wrapped my hands around Captain Toad’s right foot. My teeth were grinding into my lips, determined to not let any suspicious sounds escape from this mouth. Luckily, his feet were too dry to get me wet. But while an advantage at first, it soon became clear that I couldn’t make this a satisfying massage without a moisturiser.

“You couldn’t have given me some lotion to work with?” I asked, raising my voice above the intense clash of tongues.

POP!

He pulled his mouth out of Minh’s . “Bathroom.” And just like that, he was sucked back into her.

In the still-steamy bathroom, I snatched a red bottle. When I squirted the contents on my finger, it smelt exactly like that menace. That cologne-like odour. The label said ‘Swagger’, how appropriate.

The lotion was also thinner than expected. It took a lot of squeezing to get a decent amount into my palms. When they were white enough, I clapped and rubbed my hands together. Game plan: I’d finish the right foot first, then the left. And once both were done, I’d be out of here first thing.

With damp hands, my first touches were very delicate. The thumbs met the middle of the foot, on the upper half with the ball. I swallowed hard. I closed my eyes and made small circles. Eventually it was just my left hand doing the work, as my right hand was busy covering my mouth. Biting my lips began to bite into my nerves, and if I sucked them in, I’d look like I my mouth was full of sour candies. NOTHING made me look normal right now, but at least hiding my mouth made me look a wee bit less stupid.

“Are you getting horny down there?”

“No!” Eyes opened and both hands were in use again. Damn it! Was there nothing I could get past him?

For my next technique, I grabbed the right foot with one hand and used the other to do more circles around the centre of the foot. This was slightly lower, though. And instead of using my thumbs, I was shaking things up by using my fist. With this building anger, it was best to use my stress-heavy fist as a part of this massage. Gave my fingers a chance to rest.

But as long as he was trading nasty spit with Minh, it was a coin flip whether it was more effective or not. Maybe I’d have to try this move on her sometime for a thorough opinion.

After this, I took hold of his heel and massaged the upper half of his foot with my palm. The lotion made it unstable, but it was another reprieve for the digits. I continued with the same technique on the sides of the foot, and in time, my thumbs were back in action. My right hand aimed between the big and second toes, locking the fat one in sort of a hook. From there, I slowly moved my thumb down, applying pressure to the area in between.

Gosh, his toes were so meaty. With their average size, they could slide into my mouth like popcorn chicken.

But when my lips were only inches from the foot, I quickly slammed it onto my lap. And as I looked up at Captain Toad while his tongue was lost inside Minh, his blue eyes pierced me.

“Yeah, play with those toes,” he teased before Minh swallowed his tongue.

Having uttered every curse word in my mind, I pulled back on his four smaller toes. From there, I stroked them repeatedly, like brushing my hair. In fact, the thought of that began to take some of the red out of my face. My cheeks felt less heavy.

Of course! Minh, had told me that guys only last long when they actively try not to think about sex. As lame as that sounded, it might’ve been the key to leaving this room without soaked pants.

Think of paint, Toadette. Boring, drying paint. Like when Minh’s mom made you two paint the fence white, only to have it turn brown again…

Instead of a person, I was now a foot massage machine. I tugged at the toes, pressed my palms against the arch, slid my thumb along the sole, and the movements continued without input. Although my eyes were on his foot, and I could hear the disgusting slobbering (end it already), my mind was somewhere else. I was on planet Don’t-Give-A-Shit.

“Surprisingly, she’s not half bad,” Captain Toad panted on the twentieth break, gulping down Minh’s mouth juice.

“Her hands are nice,” Minh moaned, “but she’s got a lot to learn before she’s on my level.” Instead of joining me, she pulled up his shirt and grasped his sides. The sound of licking was a loud as ever, but she was too low to be sucking on his nipples. Captain Toad let out a gasp, grabbing Minh’s head as she licked around…his stomach.

Okay then.

Was this really what partners did behind closed doors? What was so fun about running your tongue over someone’s dry belly button? That’s something a parent does to their baby as a playful joke. If I was gonna lick any part of a guy, his penis would be the only part. And if I wasn’t in the mood for that, I’d only go for the feet because a little sweat might make them a bit flavourful. And if his toes were plump enough, that might make sucking on them even more engaging than sucking on his single dick. Besides, I could stroke his legs up and down while my tongue…

Captain Toad’s foot was inches from my lips. Wait, both of them? They were close enough to where his toes left smudges on my glasses. I was sniffing the lotion.

And he was looking straight at me.

“What?” I frantically dropped the feet, scrambling to rub the tops of them. “You want me to massage or not?”

“I—” He let out a girlish moan, his grip on Minh tightening. “I’m feeling really good right now. You jealous?”

“I’m in no rush to have my stomach licked. Weirdos.”

“Says the girl who wants to kiss my feet.”

“You couldn’t make me kiss them if you wanted to.”

He scrunched his painted toes. “Don’t have to. Remember sucking my toe in the tub? Forget if Minh wanted it or not; you went on for way longer than you had to.”

I rolled my eyes, squeezing both his heels. With all the lotion soaked into them, they were finally soft. Slippery, but soft. Would be hard to get them in my mouth now, huh? Well, if I just used my teeth to lock them in place, they wouldn’t be able to wriggle past my lips.

…Could my face just turn white again?

It wasn’t enough that his feet were on my lap. He was also curling his toes. They’d fold inwards, move backwards and then move forwards. Ugh, I so didn’t need a reminder of how plumpy they looked. My pussy was breathing heavily. My grip on a single foot was worsening as the clock ticked, and Captain Toad deliberately tried to get a reaction from me. Spreading his toes, pointing his big toe as if to coax me to suck on it… These distractions made it so it took all my conscious strength to apply any sort of pressure.

Again, did he want this massage or not?

Minh emerged from under the shirt, excited and… Know what? She could rub her nipples through her shirt and bra all she wanted at this point.

“Well, your feet smell a lot fresher than they did before,” she sighed, giving Captain Toad’s resting foot a sniff. “But what’cha gonna do ‘bout it?”

“Things can’t ever be easy with you.” He absorbed her weight as she crawled on top of him (bring her feet back into my view). “You’re already crazy for liking feet, and on top of that, you can’t even take them clean?”

As if Minh knew the effect she was having on me, she clapped her upside-down feet together multiple times. And on the fifth clap, she rubbed them together. Remember learning about friction for the first time in school, and you’d rub your hands so hard to see how much heat you could make? Well lo and behold, Minh was about to start a blaze with her dirty-ass feet rubbing together. A mix of scraping and sloshing was ringing through my head, and my ability to breathe calmly was cut.

Not to mention the smell… Was she trying to give my feet a run for their money? The scent wafted up into my nose, and every time I exhaled it, a part of me felt like it was dying. Aw… Why couldn’t I just rub my nose on her foot? This was so unfair!

“It’s not that I don’t like them clean. It’s just that I really love them being grimy. Maybe ‘cause I grew up getting dirty all the time. Maybe ‘cause the natural foot stink is more intoxicatingly enchanting than roses or daisies. Does it really matter why I like them? Dirty feet, smelly feet, sweaty, greasy, vinegary, buttery, cheesy feet with extra cheese… Those are all treats.

“And now that I don’t gotta worry about you leaking my kinky secret, ooh baby, your feet smell amazing when they’re ripe out the boots. I’d make out with ‘em for hours without a break, Toad…”

“Should I be appreciative or scared?”

“Yes.”

Slurp…

Minh turned her head back. Keeping my eyes on the feet before me, I silently swallowed the dirty sweat. It tasted bitter, but damn it, at this point it was better than nothing.

She gave me a confused expression before quickly returning to Tongue Thrusting Land. At the same time, my heart was ready to burst out my chest. I had to smell Captain Toad’s feet! Not this fresh scent, either. If I didn’t get something more raw to satisfy myself, I’d be tossing and turning all night. But how could I get my hands on anything? As I squirted lotion directly onto his soles and toes, I wondered what my next move would be.

During the rest of the massage, I took my chances and gave Minh’s feet faint whiffs. Nothing that she should’ve been able to detect. I’d simply inch my body closer to this wall of feet, then act as if I was leaning in to observe Captain Toad’s with more detail. And whenever Minh’s grimy toes came a hair’s inch within tickling my nostrils, I’d let my lungs do the rest of the work.

Dirty or clean, this smell was always unique to her. Had I not been in this situation, I’d have a wide grin on my face.

After a few more minutes of squeezing all my fingers between his toes, and eliciting more genuine moans from him than I expected, I hopped off the bed.

“I’d like to pay more attention to my own feet tonight, thank you.”

“Gonna lick yourself like a cat?”

“Not listening.” I set the lotion on the sink, only for it to hit the ground. Once I picked it up again, I caught a glimmer out the corner of my eye. Hmm…

I came out the bathroom with a stiff towel over my hands. Minh gave Captain Toad another kiss, then headed for the door. She lifted her foot back, giggling.

“I’m gonna teach you how to give my feet some GOOD head, alright?”

“Don’t wait up for me.”

Before I could leave, he stepped in front of me. My grip on the towel tightened.

“What do you want now? I’m tired, I rubbed your putrid feet, I really have to—”

“Learn how to make a better poker face?”

Pout time. Intense pout time.

“How’d Minh’s foot taste? Like garbage? Like shit? Or was it as magical as she’d describe it, something like a licking an extra-stuffed crisply-baked pizza?”

“…”

I only looked down at his feet, his painted toenails flirting with me. The way they glistened against the lamp lights…

“Seems you’re still flip-flopping if you’re into this or not, so I’ll be a good boy for once and not tell the confirmed foot freak. You do that on your own time.” He stepped closer. “And by the by…”

As his lips started to close the gap between mine, I tilted my head. Immediately, he stopped. But then, just as I turned…

SMOOCH!

Right on my cheek. Oh boy, a boy just fucking kissed me. Who wasn’t my brother. I… I wasn’t angry, but I sure was breathing like I was. His lips were only there for a second, and yet it still burnt.

With a grin, Captain Toad rubbed his foot on my shoe. “If you’re ever too horny to work right, I’ll consider indulging in your gross possible fetish.” He licked his lips. “May think I’m dumb, but I’m smart enough to know not to turn down a sexy Toad like you.”

…He called me sexy.

Once I was in our own hotel room, I slumped against the side of the bed. Minh was already undressing herself, down to having her shaven pussy a short distance from me. While she went on and on about the things she wanted to do to Captain Toad, I replayed those last few moments in my head. Wow… He invited me to do what I wanted to him, he made himself the first real guy to kiss me (cheek, but still), and he thought I was sexy.

Me? Sexy? My brain was trying to divide by zero.

“Hope my foot didn’t numb your tongue back there.” Minh hovered her sweaty foot above my face. “Did you like it?”

I shrugged, eyes pointed at my twitching fingers. “Just wanted you to feel extra good.”

“Aw. But don’t do it if it makes you uncomfortable, ‘kay?”

I nodded slowly. And once her butt was in that bathroom, but especially when the sound of the bathtub running could be heard, the towel hit the floor.

Sniff, sniff, sniff! SNIIIIIIIIIIIIIF! SNIFF!!

“Oh my God, that’s so fucking nice…”

This warm smell did not disappoint! Nowhere near as fatal as his boots, yet strong enough to make me wanna burst down that door and suck his toes. Oooh… If Captain Toad could continue to let his foot essence take hold of these maid flats, I’d be a very happy Toad. Curling into a ball, I’d suffocate myself with this sweaty atmosphere until Minh’s wet feet hit the tile.

And since she never slept on the correct part of the bed, the girl had no way of knowing I had his flats under my pillows. Sniffing her knocked-out fresh feet and going back to Captain Toad’s day-old shoes made my night incredible. After one of the roughest mornings since taking this job, this was the perfect ending to my day.

Chapter Text

☆ Age 11 - Sixth Grade (Year: 2003) ☆

“Please quit touching my feet…”

“Shh!”

All I wanted to do on my Thursday was relax at Minh’s house before having to go home. I was comfortable on the floor, my black socks kept the smell from setting off the fire alarm, and I did a good job feigning interest in Minh’s new Game Boy thing. I was 106% sure that it was illegal what we were watching. How did someone even get a video on such a tiny thing when cameras were going for so many more coins? Let alone something as graphic as filming a penis.

All of this would’ve been tolerable if she knew how to keep her hands to herself, or rather her feet. While huddled next to me, her bare feet were always inches away from poking mine. Like she was a toddler who needed to touch everything she saw.

Boop, boop, boop.

If she touched me again, I was gonna grab her game and break it in half.

Boop.

“Why you are trying to drive me crazy?”

“Tryin’ to get closer to let you see this.” She lifted the Game Boy to my face, presenting me with two pixelated figures grinding against each other. At the same time, the endlessly crunchy moaning noises made me want to curl up into a ball and cry my heart out.

Every other day, some comment came out her mouth about how great sleeping with a guy felt. I could’ve gone without a visual of how the act was, but Minh just couldn’t be simple. GAH! And she was still touching my feet!

“The fuck? You don’t have to touch my feet to get closer,” I groaned, trying to shuffle away.

“Where’s the harm in a little game of footsies?”

Fuck my life… Whenever I was around Minh, not a second went by without my space being violated. How many times did I have to tell her we weren’t dating. I’d rather have a Bonzai Bill obliterate me before I’d even think about kissing a girl.

She’d be a shitty girlfriend anyway. As a stickler for people having clean feet, I’d be dizzy every day with how filthy hers regularly were. Sure, mine weren’t the freshest flowers in the shop, but at least I kept the bottoms polished. Minh’s? If you had a thing for hobo feet, she’d be the most attractive girl in the town. But those of you with decency would be wise to search elsewhere.

As the dude in the video kept thrusting himself into the lady, his head would constantly be between her legs and feet. This Game Boy screen didn’t tell the clearest story, but I could guarantee her feet were neat. How’s a guy supposed to enjoy cumming in a girl when he’s distracted by her Goomba-like toes?

Then again, boys did that in Minh all the time. Everyone lined up for her, even if she’d given them a glimpse of her feet via her nasty flip-flops.

The more I watched the video, the more my nails dug into my palms.

“Why do guys even wanna fuck you?”

Minh slowly turned. “Excuse me?”

“Are you easy or something? I’d get it if you took care of your whole body, but if I were a guy, I wouldn’t want anything to do with you considering your…” And I pointed at her hellish toes.

She looked at her system, then back at me, then back at the system and finally at her feet.

“Why would you say— No, why would you ask that?”

“Because I can.”

Her brows furrowed. “That’s mean, Toadette. I’ve turned down more guys than I’ve screwed, so you can scratch off me being easy. And, as I’ve said over and over, the only reason guys don’t go for you is ‘cause you don’t ever chat with ‘em.”

I scoffed, stroking my red hair. “Whatever. That’s their loss.”

“Are you about to cry?”

“No! It’s just so stupid. Why do guys hate girls who keep themselves clean and try their hardest to look cute?”

“I think I try hard to look cute. And if you think my feet are deal-breakers…” She placed her mouth on the side of my head. “I’ve screwed in places so tight, boys were practically kissing my feet. Mwah, mwah, mwah…”

“Stop.”

She giggled. “While they’re cumming in me, about to pass out, sometimes my toes just twitch their way right into their mouths. Dirty, clean, it don’t matter. When you really wanna play with someone, you’ll do anything. Even deal with their beautiful feet staining your face with dirty footprints.

“And if you really think I’m talking craziness, Toadette, I’ll show you just what I mean.”

Minh licked her cherry lips. She sat criss-cross applesauce, then brought her left foot up to her face. To my disgust, I had all too good a view of the stained dirt that covered it from the heel to the toes. And as she scrunched her five foot fingers, I could count the crumbs of muck raining down on the carpet. And like a mental patient, she pushed her face against her foot.

Another soft moan came out her mouth as her cheek darkened. “Mmm… Don’t I look perfectly healthy?”

Oh my gosh… Gagging, I barely burped out a, “Please stop.”

“Now, el momento de verdad.” Flipping her fluffy brown hair back, she took one quick lick from the heel to the middle of the sole.

It was like someone was stabbing me in the heart over and over. The sight of hair and outdoor dust clinging to her tongue was unbearable, not to mention the sounds she made. EW!! FUCKING GROSS! Why was she swallowing? Why did I have to be cursed to have my only friend be such a maniac? And she had the nerve to grin as if she wasn’t in the middle of slurping foot mud.

The girl wore flip-flops to school. She’d gone to the bathroom several times, her feet with basically no protection from germs.

And she was STILL licking like a Yoshi!

Once she got to the eleventh lick, she stuck out her tongue to give me a sickening view of it. It went back in her mouth. Wide a wide grin, she laughed.

“My foot don’t even stink. Wanna try it out?”

Screaming, I broke down the door and ran all the way to the bathroom. If I didn’t stand over that trash can, my lunch was gonna be all over this floor.

Minh’s mother passed by, leaning into the room. “Toadette, are you sick?”

“She’s fine. You hear her crying, she’s just being a baby.” Rude! After pushing her mom out the way, Minh closed the door. “You know, feet scare you more than they should.”

“You make me feel sicker than you should.”

“They’re feet. Unless you got a foot allergy, there ain’t no toe trying to take you out. Besides, not like guys are coming to me for my feet. They just tolerate having ‘em all over their body just so they can fit in me.”

That description wasn’t making the imagery any better. Eventually, I sat on the toilet, silently fuming.

“Hey,” she said, “if nothing else, you’ve got someone who thinks you’re cute.”

“And she’s a girl.”

“And less judgemental than the other stuck-up girls.” She ran her fingers up my exposed legs, stopping at my knees. “I know you’re just shy and not creepy. I’m always here if you wanna lose your virginity.”

One flustered kick sent her skidding into the wall. “No.”

She stared at me, sighed, then nodded. Finally, an appropriate response, respecting my boundaries. It only took her getting hit to get the message.

“Have you ever cum yet?”

I shook my head. Was she playing with me? Obviously if I never dated, I never came.

“Well with how angry you’ve been lately—threatening to break people’s necks if they joke about you—I think you’re overdue for a little stress relief.”

“I can’t just find a random guy I like and get him to date me,” I lamented, standing in front of the mirror at my teary eyes. “No matter how cute I wanna look, I’m just the ugly little Toad of the school.”

Minh put her hands on my shoulders. “You are cute. And fortunately, Miss Cutesy, we don’t need to find you a boyfriend in order to cum.” 

“How does that work?”

With the Sun going down, I was walking through Toad Town’s emptier streets with a bunch of food in my hands. Nothing unusual, truth be told. For a middle-class girl like herself, Minh certainly never acted like one. Most wish to mingle with those within their own financial status, and yet Minh’s family was always happy to lend us food and money. They weren’t even loans; they usually told Mommy she never had to pay them back. And their only daughter would spend a quarter of her allowance on making sure I ate at school.

Had our paths never crossed, DT and I would both be starving with the way Mommy handled the coins she earned.

As I stepped into the house, announcing my presence, my moist feet were finally freed.

“Not too horrible today,” I remarked after taking a whiff of my left sock. I balled them up into my shoes, then stepped into the kitchen.

“I don’t give a fuck if I clocked out three hours early! I earned that cheque fair and square!” With the vibrating walls and my mother’s yelling, I knew to pause on instinct. “If no one else was coming, yeah, I took my tips and left. Do you know how hard it is raising a retarded teen and a kindergartener? It’s not easy when you got two dads not in their lives! And I can’t feed them with zero coins!”

Embarrassing... Could my mother seriously not be a good waitress for a small restaurant?

“TT, can you help me?”

I sat the food down and spun around. My little brother’s hair had grown so long that it covered his eyes, just like his perfect mother’s. Through the strands, I could see his pupils darting between me and Mommy. I instinctively stepped into his line of sight, then grabbed his paper. Poor boy, facing the nightmarish reality of homework and deadlines. He truly was growing up.

Shuffling him away from Mommy’s aggressive phone call, I rubbed his cap. “We’ll get this done lickity-split.”

“Where’s Minh?”

“Why?”

He sat at the table. “She might have an easier time with this.”

“Excuse me. I’m no dummy.” Upon one look, the paper was some language arts stuff. “It’s not like you brought me heavy math.”

This homework was nothing I couldn’t do. It was a series of reading exercises maliciously designed to confuse children, as all the questions were about homophones. But boy oh boy, teaching DT the difference between these words was harder than making a brave warrior out of a Shy Guy.

Then again, how could I blame him when his tummy rumbled so much?

While he scribbled on his paper, I said, “We got Hot Shrooms and rice and beans from Minh T. Should last us three days, ‘kay?”

“Sweet!” He magically popped to life, narrating his day while he circled answers. A standard child’s day in kindergarten, learning the basics. And like all kids, he was more interested in chatting about the more creative stuff like drawing.

I took a look at his homework after he presented me with new answers. The last section in particular caught my attention. Again.

“DT, tell me where you went wrong.”

He blew the tuft of hair out his eyes and slowly read the sentence again. “The Mushroom Kingdom is necks two the Beanbean Kingdom.”

“Mmm… Check again.”

“You always tell me to check again,” he squealed, his cheeks puffing up. “I checked four times!”

“Good. Make it five. If you’re right, we’re done. If you’re wrong,” I giggled as I set my feet on his lap, “we’re gonna give you a stink shock.”

Aw, he really wanted to crumble that page. Crazy part? This was a multiple choice type of homework. Only three choices for the two underlined words, and he couldn’t wrap his brain around which was which.

As the clock ticked, I slowly flexed my toes. Though I was never a fan of exposing my feet to people, I could torment DT as much as possible with mine. Being barefoot around family makes the experience quite normal, unlike outdoors where most wear shoes. Well, at least we Toads and the humans around the town.

His lip frowning, DT presented the paper again. “The Mushroom Kingdom is next two the Beanbean Kingdom.”

“Really?” In an instant, I started wiping my right foot all over DT’s face. The kid was quick to fight back, but he couldn’t stop his nose from getting stuck between my toes for a second. Besides, this rubbing was ridding my feet of some of the sweat the socks failed to absorb. Just a little bonus for me. “And I’m done.”

Once he could breathe, DT fanned the air around him. “It stinks! You said if I was right, we’d be done.”

“I also said if you were wrong, you’d get a stink shock.”

He sulked, his face slowly turning red. He just stared at my curling toes for a while before gazing at the ragged sheet of paper.

Time for Toadette to be a big sister.

After explaining the wrong answers, I took his hand and guided him to the correct answer. “T-O is a prep thingy we say a lot. The Mushroom Kingdom is next TO the Beanbean Kingdom. You are going to get an A on this. TT is going to try to cum tonight.”

He cocked his head. “But aren’t you already here?”

“When you’re older,” I said, patting his head. I gave him a kiss on the cheek before I got up. And I went in extra obnoxiously, flicking my tongue against his skin. Got a good “ew” out of him, followed by a high-pitched laugh. “Quit acting like my breath stinks. Get over here.”

“Better than your stinky feet.”

“Want another whiff?”

“Get away!” In one move, he jumped out his chair and ran into the kitchen. “Yay, I’m safe!”

“But they love you, DT,” I sang.

“I love them when they’re clean and not nasty,” he sang back in a pitch high enough to shatter glass.

I chuckled, wiping some carpet hairs off my soles. Our little back-and-forths and my feet stinking always brought out tons of energy in me. At least his disgust was forever covered in love, as opposed to the outsiders of my family life who hated how I could reek.

When I was about to go upstairs for some experimentation, my mother stepped out the kitchen. Beneath her red hair was a deep red face with trembling red lips.

“TT…”

“Yay… We’re gonna be poor forever… We should throw a poor people party.”

“Don’t joke, TT. I’m not even the one fucking up at that job. They messed with—”

“You left three hours early.”

She clenched her fists, approaching me. “If you know so much, why don’t you get a job to help us out?”

“I’m a retarded teen,” I plainly said, rolling my eyes as I passed her.

“I’m not in the mood for your attitude today, little girl.”

My foot struck the ground hard enough to sound like metal. “I don’t like seeing my little brother starving. Why can’t you just act like an adult and keep a single job? It’s embarrassing to keep relying on my friend’s family to keep us off the streets. Do you even care about us?”

Wincing, I readied myself for the hit to come. My Mom hadn’t moved further yet, but the ice was thinning.

I huffed. “Well, I know I’m not important.”

She put her head down. “Know what? I’ve got too much to worry about, so I’m gonna let you slide for now. But when you’re older, you’re gonna learn how being an adult isn’t as easy as it looks in the movies.”

“As long as I don’t get pregnant by a deadbeat in high school, I’ll be fine.” I let out an exasperated grunt.

“Please don’t fight!” DT had run between us, holding his hands together as he faced our mom. “Please don’t.”

“Don’t be scared, DT,” she said, grabbing him. “Mommy just had a bad day.”

“And TT is going to try and have a really good night. If you’ll excuse me.”

Each step I made up the staircase, I could feel a jolt of energy going into my heart. All this frustration I’ve been having lately was getting to the point where it needed to be unleashed. If not, I’d end up doing something I’d regret.

Alone in my room. I dug through the smallest pockets of my backpack. This tool’s thickness was something else, lemme tell you. I knew Minh was a freak, but I didn’t think her parents were freaky enough to gift her this as a Christmas present.

The white and pink device in my hands was a six-inch vibrator.

“Now, how am I gonna use this?” I whispered, stroking it from the bottom to the top.

VRRRRRRRR!

Jeez! My finger flicked the tiny switch into the “on” position. I turned it off as quickly as it came on, holding my breath. Did anyone else hear it? It sounded so loud, and it wasn’t even set on the max option.

Hmm… It’d be real bad if either Mommy or DT happened to barge in here. While I could experiment with this under the sheets, I needed a safe spot.

Bundled pyjamas covered my hands as I left my room, nothing untypical. But underneath the clothing, the vibrator was always a hair’s inch within being activated. Thankfully, reaching the bathroom only took me a few steps.

Locking the door, running the shower, turning the vent fan on… All those steps ensured my safety.

But I couldn’t bring this thing into the shower. What if the batteries got wet? So, while stripping out my school uniform, I decided I was gonna do this right here on the floor. As an extra security measure, my clothes would block the slit under the door, hiding my movements. Whoo… Not one inch of me was wet, and yet my vagina felt like it was starting to leak.

I stretched my body before my butt kissed the frigid tile. “Start off slow, Toadette…”

Click! VRRRRRRRRRR!

What the?

Click! Click! Click! Click! VRRRRRRRRRR!

It was vibrating so strong, no matter the mode I set it on. Fuck. Minh must’ve broken it. I wouldn’t put it past her to use it so much on its strongest settings that it’d only know how to rumble like this. While it still wasn’t strong enough to overpower the other sounds, what it meant was that I’d be taking it rough. Hopefully it wouldn’t scramble my pussy or something.

“Better it working than being unusable.” I looked up. I needed a mental image before I could use this thing willy-nilly.

Only having one true friend put me at a disadvantage when searching for attractive people. Even if I liked a guy’s looks, chances were good that his attitude pissed me off. I had to search for males outside of my school. Hmm… I really didn’t look up to many of the big-named celebrities out there. Didn’t help that a lot of the biggest ones were humans, and ew…

Well, desperate times called for desperate measures. Swallowing a huge amount of guilt, I saw my best friend staring at me from across the room. She was being her regularly, semi-creepy self. Watching eagerly as I trembled with her vibrator in my hand, hovering it over my genitals.

Ooh! If I just imagined her as a boy, this would go easier.

It took multiple tries, but soon I’d constructed the perfect image of somebody who I could fuck. A boy with curly brown hair, a white cap with pink spots, and who had a boner for me. Heh… Without the lipstick and flashy eyebrows, this fella had me blushing a bit.

Click!

Scooping some water from the tub, I splashed it onto my pussy. Ooh! Cold! Yeah, had to change it quickly to warmer water. As a bonus, that’d steam the bathroom up pretty good.

Now I got on my back, this dark-eyed boy smoothly caressing my shoulders. My lower body shivered. The heavy vibrations gave my pussy the biggest wake-up call of its life, sending those muscles to get to flexing. They sent jolts of energy through my entire body. At my head, I was blinking rapidly, gritting my teeth as to silence my giggles. And at my feet, my toes curled like those of a witch. All the while, the boy smiled at me, puckering his lips as if offering me an invitation.

“Well, don’t mind if I do, mister,” I whispered, pursing my lips. Hearing smooching noises made me rub my hand on my right tit.

The vibrator was in an inverted position, its head pointing downward. And so the side of this bulbous tip sat pressed against my pussy’s opening. Sometimes I’d direct it from side to side just for some relief; going numb wouldn’t help me. Yet I kinda wanted it to numb me. This pressure was so intense, at times it felt like someone was pinching my insides. But GODDAMN, it was an amazing pinching. My legs were shaking like jelly while I made out with this boy.

Such a tickly feeling, too. I tried over and over to see how far I could get it inside of myself, but it never went much farther than the very beginning. However, Toadette was gonna work with that. Quitting was not an option. 

So anyways, I paused for a second to recompose myself. “This is fun.”

And back to the action! I spread my legs like an octopus, now furiously massaging myself with the vibrator. “Shit!”

With it going up and down at such a blazing rate of speed, guess what the boy was doing. Why, he was using his tongue to lick my pussy. Mmm… In a sick way, I kinda preferred it to having his cock twitching inside of me. This way, he had more control over the movements. And if a tongue flattened itself good enough, it could stretch across the whole vagina. The occasional taps inside my walls gave me this fluttery sensation, like I was lying on dreamy clouds.

My breasts had never felt so happy in their entire lifetimes. I’d been teased for being the flat-chested girl in sixth grade, when many other Toads got bigger breasts by fourth grade. Mine might’ve been as flat as the floor I was lying on, but they received pleasure just as much as a fat bitch’s tits.

Stroking my face became another regular action during this sex session. Once more, it gave me that tingly feeling I couldn’t get enough of. Try it. Run the very tips of your fingers along your cheeks and tell me it doesn’t feel exciting.

But alas, all great things come to an end. Aw, and I hadn’t even had my first cum moment. My right hand was just getting so tired at this point. It had fought valiantly to please my pussy, but I’d used up all its strength…

“Lefty, don’t fail me.”

Thought this was over? Get real. My left hand may have missed my vagina several times, but once it got the angle right, the vibrator was back to causing an earthquake inside my body.

I put my feet up on the bathtub, keeping my back flat on the floor. From this angle, I let out a soft series of chuckles, staring at my unpainted toenails. These wiggly babies couldn’t stop dancing at all. In fact… Rubbing my feet together worked wonders in combination with the vibrator. It was like giving myself my own foot massage but while using my feet. Being sweaty earlier today gave them the softness they needed, and while my toes tickled my soles, I made little effort to conceal my moaning.

It didn’t matter if they heard me. I’d take the scolding later.

Right now, my hero had gone from licking my pussy to using his own foot to stimulate it. His flexibility was second to none. Why? Well, while the top of his foot tapped my vagina, his toes (very well-polished for a boy) occasionally exploring the narrow cavern, he was riding my face.

Actually, he was laying face-down on top of me. I was holding him in my mouth. His cock wasn’t the thickest in Toad Town, but all the same, sucking it was so much better than sucking on a lollipop.

“Ah… Ah…” I clenched the vibrator between my thighs. “Ooooh… Yeah, come on…”

And rushing to stand, I leaned myself up against the wall. My body was twisting in every contradicting direction, yet one constant remained. That vibrator wasn’t going anywhere. It was going to make me cum one way or another. Even if it the battery juice drained, it’d still be my makeshift penis for tonight. I would NOT deny myself of what Minh had experienced for the past two years.

 My moans and yelps of pleasure were getting more frequent. Sitting on the sink, I rammed the head of the vibrator into myself twice per second. As the tingliness from my soles transferred to my spine, tears ran down my face.

Instead of seeing that same boy who’d been making me horny as fuck, I was staring at the spitting image of Minh. She sat next to me, gave me a wink, sticking her tongue out. Not a second passed when she wasn’t rubbing her feet on top of mine.

“You’re such a cutie, Toadette,” she whispered, blowing me a kiss.

When the vibrator’s speed increased, so did the intensity of the vibrations. First, it felt like there was a bubbly sensation inside of me. I breathed heavier, gasping for air at every interval. At that moment, when my pussy felt lighter and more sensitive, I knew it was happening. I was cumming. And it was impossible to freeze myself or even control myself. Off the sink I fell, straight onto the floor! But that didn’t prevent me from switching the vibrator off, then looking at my trembling toes in shock.

It was…

Knock! Knock!

“TT, it’s been 40 minutes! Are you gonna pay for that water?”

“I-I’m coming out! Just washing my hair.”

Walking like someone had shoved a hot stick up my ass, I stumbled into the tub to rinse myself off. Only had five minutes, and in that time, my emotions were a roller coaster. At first, the cumming felt indescribably hot, like someone had injected an energy drink into my veins. But now that I was in the shower, my mood took a major drop…

Did I really fuck myself on the sink? And even then, there was no boy here who was willing to give me any love like that. But… Did I cum looking at Minh? Ew, fuck no. I was probably thinking of something else. So unfair that she got to cum thanks to real boys while I had to use my imagination.

Well, now I walked away not knowing what to think of getting off by myself. Sexy? Scary? 

Chapter Text

— FRIDAY: 4 days before the festival —

“How did I not see any of this coming?”

“Hmm?”

I spit in the sink. “Your whole foot thing. Thinking about it, you weren’t the most subtle about it.”

She chuckled. “Well, I was smart enough to not flat-out admit it. ‘Til you caught me, that is.”

“Did you really end up putting your feet in guys’ faces while they were inside you? Back in school? And when they were really gross and dirty?”

“Why would I make something like that up?”

Between her and the boys who got to cum in her, I couldn’t tell who was luckier.

Hopefully today’s schedule won’t be too full. Now that brushing our teeth was out of the way, what to wear? If we were going to some field, sneakers would’ve been the smartest choice. But the maverick inside me told me to not have my toes cramped all day. And so, my thick, black slides were back on my feet. Hehe... Even though the flip-flops looked nicer, I couldn’t deny how much softer and comfier these felt.

While watching Minh wet her hair, I thought of how I’d want her to be today. We’d just woken up, and she was already doing an ace job at making me blush. The way she swung her hips back and forth, quietly singing, all while lifting her feet at various points… Now that made for an interesting view.

“You wanna actually wear shoes today before you end up with a disease?” I asked, envisioning her crushing my cheek with her smooth heels.

“Worst thing I ever got from being barefoot is a splinter.” She stretched. “But sure, flip-flops ahoy.”

“They make you look cute anyway,” I mumbled.

“I warned you about calling me cute,” she sang, making me jump. “The more you act all flirty with me, the more I’m ready to lick every inch of you.”

I started to say something, vehemently denying any desire to get down with her like that. But as my lips moved, I quickly stopped my voice. Her love for me might’ve creeped the hell out of me when we were kids. It still kind of did in the present. But after twelve years of friendship, there was no need to stress my opinion on the matter.

No problem letting Minh dream of giving me some oral. As long as she didn’t mind me secretly fantasising about blowing her toes.

Downstairs, after filling up on scrambled eggs and orange juice, we reported to Peach outside.

“Super Star Square is the location where the festival gets hosted, Toadette. You two are to do whatever the command out there tasks you with, understood?”

“Yes, Your Highness,” we said in unison.

She pointed to a red and white van. “It shouldn’t take you all day, but if your captain friend is handling things, you’d best brace yourselves for the worst.”

“Sure did hire someone you don’t have a lot of confidence in.”

“He’s resourceful when he works right, disastrous when he works wrong.”

“In any case, we’ll be alright, Your Highness,” I said, watching Minh already make her way into the van.

“Don’t get too confident now. And by the way, Toadette, should you encounter any Scapellis during the rest of our stay, understand that you are not to engage with them under any circumstances.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Why? Is there something I should know about?”

She tossed her yellow hair back. “The fact that the three of you entered one of their bases in the first place has put your identities at risk. Who’s to say they won’t follow you back to the hotel after another encounter? Then several lives get put in danger.

“For the sake of everyone in this town, myself, and even your own comparably less important life, do not get involved with them again. We will deal with them when the time comes.”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

The van was severely overcrowded, but fortunately, some A/C made the short trip bearable—as bearable as being crushed by two bigger Toads could be. As soon as we stepped out, we immediately stretched all of our limbs. My shoulders needed a good number of rotations before they were back in commission. Meanwhile, Minh focused on her legs.

“Could’ve been worse. What if we were stuck in there with your stinky feet?” she joked.

“Better stinky than dirty, in my opinion.”

“Ooh… Now that’s a tough one.” She stroked her chin, lost in thoughts. “Dirt has all the fun varieties in texture that make licking a total spectacular. And yet it’s the smell that truly gets my heart pumping, no matter the condition. The smellier the better, too. I don’t know; I flip-flop on which I prefer.”

“Well, if the condition doesn’t matter, you should enjoy rubbing your nose on them tonight.”

“Tonight?”

I nodded. “Your head’s right at my feet. If I were you, I’d take advantage.”

“Nah. I mean, that’s gonna make me look worse if I do it without asking—”

“Then I hereby grant you permission to sniff my feet when we sleep together.”

That’s when I heard her mind begin to explode. Her stunned expression curved into a smile. I had to put a finger over her mouth to make sure she didn’t lose her cool. With three royals and two common Toads sure to know her secret, Minh really had to be careful about letting her foot fetish become public knowledge. Then again, I was to blame for teasing her just now.

She snickered at my exposed toes, then gazed into my eyes. “I love you.”

“With you, actions definitely speak louder than words.”

This area where the Star Festival would be held was incredibly spacious. Ever since working for Peach, I’d been continuously amazed at just how large a space could be. Growing up in the narrower, smaller neighbourhoods of Toad Town does that to a girl. Here, we were dropped off at a corner of what was essentially a huge square. There were a sparse number of buildings, and much of the ground was cobblestone as opposed to concrete. Place definitely had an old-timey air to it. In contrast to Mushroom City’s dominant steel and glass skyscrapers, these buildings were made of brick.

But what caught my eye more was everything between the buildings. They’d made a lot of progress with setting this festival up already. There were a bunch of small booths with mini-games, similar to what you’d find in an amusement park. The paths slowly sloped upwards, where we’d find people working on decorations. Namely, makeshift comets and star bits, some dangling over our heads like piñatas. And we could find lots of paintings, binoculars for sale, a strange mime staring at our loudly slapping shoes, and several lights being hung for the event.

“I had the impression this would be in a big grassy field, you know,” I remarked, making room for workers carrying a large beam. “If someone attacked us here, this ancient place would hold up just fine.”

“Her Highness would rather play it safe than sorry, and so would I. And who told you there wouldn’t be any grass?”

As we got closer and closer to the middle of the plaza—I can’t stress enough how huge this area was—water from drenched blades flicked up at our feet.

This section was both more populated and less crowded. It was a very empty field, with only one significant object in the dead centre. A throne. And unlike anything we’d seen in Toad Town, this one looked like it was built from star bits. It had the pattern of a drunken rainbow, and it sat high in the air. At least ten metres high, with a staircase and small platform being the only things to accompany it.

“Our crazed ruler broadcasts from there, yeah?”

“While the luckiest among us sit on the grass.” She held out her hands and turned. “But that’s only the ending. Before that, it’s one heck of a fiesta. Now I’m interested in that tasting game Her Highness has in mind, but otherwise, I’ve always been a fan of the water games.”

“Such as?”

“Swimming races, water gun duels, having to plug all the water spouts in the ground—”

“Staring at people’s bare legs.”

She nodded. “A bonus, for sure.”

I giggled. While it took us about half an hour to familiarise ourselves with Super Star Square, which mainly consisted of Minh showing me where to find each activity (as if we wouldn’t get maps later), a naughty idea took hold in my head.

Outright saying that I had a thing for Minh’s feet would be the end of me. It would be the ultimate embarrassing confession, especially after all of my whining in the past month. No, years. But even though I wasn’t the best at dropping subtle hints, maybe a little joking around with her could get the idea across. I’d just have to choose our activities wisely. Considering that this wasn’t a mega amusement park with week-long lines, we’d probably be able to try every interesting activity at least once, right?

“Look who’s here.” I pointed to the ten-year-old who was practically running on air to get to us.

Little Penelope started huffing and puffing as she finally parked in front of us. Even though she wasn’t wearing anything heavy, consider that she sprinted at least a quarter mile. Her small body continued to us. Not once did she complain, only smiling to greet us both.

“Good morning, Miss Minh T., Miss Toadette.” She bowed. “Tell me, Miss Toadette, this is your first time here, right?”

“Take a guess.”

She clapped her hands. “Well, there’s good news and bad. Good in that neither of you has to do any of the heavy lifting today. Miss Minh T. did such a good job with the flowery decorations when she was here.”

“Why, it’s my talento natural,” the Toad boasted.

“And the flipside?”

“Simple,” Penelope said quickly. “On a scale of one to ten, how painful is it for you Toads to pump out booby milk?”

There was a long pause for both of us mushrooms.

My voice barely squeaked. “I need an adult…”

“You are an adult,” Penelope plainly stated.

“Obviously, she needs a bigger adult.” Well, look what the cat dragged in unceremoniously. Finally dressed in clothes befitting his job, Captain Toad entered the scene as if he were the main character. “In a nutshell, we need a lot of milk to bake the mega cake for this event. And as fate would have it, they chose Idiot A and Idiot B for the job.”

I was dumbstruck. “There have to be hundreds of stores here with milk! Who runs out of milk?”

“And what’s different this year from any other year?” Minh said, covering her chest.

Penelope snapped her fingers, signalling for us to follow her as she elaborated. “Mother demanded that our cake be made with Toad milk this year to give the cows a break. She didn’t tell me anything else. Is there something special about your bodies?”

“Unlike you humans, our men produce milk just like the rest of us,” I said. “We have more flavours to choose from. But that alone is gonna make this cake taste like garbage.”

“Take that up with Mother. We already got a lot, so you two are adding the finishing squirts.”

Minh interjected. “Penny, you sound way too excited about this.”

“Oh-ho, what’s this?” Captain Toad pinched her cheek. “The freak in the sheets is finally broken?”

“While you laugh, try being hooked up to a milking machine. Not funny when you’re going home with saggy nips and tears.”

The thought hadn’t crossed my mind before. Now that she spoke, I was sweating bullets. That pain would be…

Penelope led us into one of the buildings. It was short; couldn’t have been more than three stories high. Inside, the temperature dropped immediately. But all around us was a bunch of food that would bring us warmth on the main day. Some in transparent bags that had us lick our lips, some locked away in containers.

My knees rattled on the stairs. I could already hear the sound of our next adventure. It stared me in the face. A tall, blue machine that could’ve passed for a gas pump. Only instead of pumps, it contained eight little clamps designed to pinch a nipple and get to sucking like a baby.

“How much milk we gotta give up?” Minh asked, pushing a yellow button. “Six litres?”

“Litres… Litres… Litres!?” I turned to Penelope. “That’s the size of three soda bottles. With two of us, that’s not happening.”

Minh nodded. “Her Highness is a genius, but I don’t think she’s been milked before to know what she’s asking of us.”

“Calm down. Let’s not face Mother’s wrath yet.”

While we females were panicking, our focus eventually centred on a glaring object. He’d been standing in the corner, watching us collapse under the unrealistic task before us. Just chewing gum like an asshole.

“Why are you even here?” I asked.

“To stand guard.” He pulled a stun gun from his pants. “This gets done today. I can’t risk you two giving up.”

“I see…”

“Anyways, if it’s too much, the kid can find another Toad to lend a ha— Hey! What the fuck?”

In a flash, I knocked the gun out his hand, with Minh yanking him closer to the big machine. Penelope’s mouth went from a gasp to a twisted smile as Captain Toad screamed. With an innocent skip, she exited the room.

“I’ll sit outside and block all your noises out with my DS. Knock when you’re done.”

“Sounds good to me,” I said. “Hey, when we’re done with all our work, we’ll take you into town later, ‘kay?”

“Hmm?”

“Been a while since we just got to hang together, kid.”

She grinned, wiggling her fingers before closing the door. The moment Captain Toad heard the latch click into the place, he let out a pained groan.

“This was NOT the plan!”

“You sucked a dirty dick yesterday.” I slapped him on the back. “Life almost never goes your way. It’s better when you accept that.”

“Speaking from experience?”

“Okay, you two, the sooner we get this done, the better it’ll be for our breasts.” Minh took off her shirt, then her bra, then her…pants? She stared at us like we were crazy. “Biology, guys. The more we’re turned on, the more we lactate, the faster those six litres get filled.”

I could feel my cheeks sizzling the moment her panties dropped.

To my side, I could also hear Captain Toad’s heavy gear coming off. All the while he muttered that this was the least manly thing he could do.

With no other choice, I followed suit. And just like when Minh made us bathe together, the embarrassment washed all over me. Not only because I felt so vulnerable, but those fucking pubes… My pussy wasn’t the biggest fan of razors, and so the difference between hers and mine was as wide as an ocean. Sure, mine didn’t look like Santa’s beard, but it was a thick bush that needed to be cupped out of view.

“Got something to hide?” Captain Toad asked, approaching me with nip-clips.

“You don’t have to look.”

“Now I have to. If you want me at maximum arousal, I wanna see everything you’ve got.”

I closed my eyes. “Better not laugh then.” And up came my hands, now curled into fists.

Seconds passed, and the only thing that happened was that the clamps were squeezed onto my breasts. But where was the laughter? Did this tuft of pink hair over my pussy look normal? Of course not.

“And I thought you’d be laughing your ass off,” I said, actually a tad disappointed. Wish I could’ve had another excuse for slapping him.

“Looks like a vagina to me. If I had one, I’d be afraid to put fingers near it, let alone a razor.” He pointed at Minh, whose genital area was perfectly smooth. “On the bright side, your lack of shaving means you don’t each every other week like we do.”

I hadn’t even lowered my eyes to check him out. Yes, he was hairless too. And… His dick was uncut. Hmph. If I was lucky, I wouldn’t have to play with it at all. After all, we had a girl who was much more eager to try out any dick, even those with that horribly stretchy skin.

“Not as small as I thought it’d be,” I said, shrugging.

“We both have average-as-fuck genitals, let’s celebrate.”

Minh waved a finger in front of a red button. “Soon as I push this, it’s gonna start sucking.”

“I hate our princess.” “This is gonna suck.”

“Yes, it will.”

DING!

A pressure tugged my nipples toward the machine faster than I could react. Damn! I wasn’t expecting it to feel like I was breastfeeding a monster. No matter how hard it sucked, only specks of milk passed through the clear tubes. A minute passed without any change, and the suction’s power only increased. At this point, I could feel the sweat coming out my palms.

“If you wanna give me a hand,” Minh groaned, collapsing against the wall, “then I’m gonna need you both to start sucking these toes.”

Captain Toad spit out his gum. “Can I please pass on this?”

“Wanna provide the majority of the milk? Be my guest.”

While he frowned, I had already gotten down on my hands and knees. I must’ve startled Minh with how quickly I’d begun to tickle the tops of her feet. Unintentionally, too.

“WHOA! AHAHAHAHA! Oh my gosh, Toadette!” She gave me a light kick in the nose. So, was that how we were gonna play? Very well…

“We’re definitely gonna take care of you first,” I said, taking a deep breath. Once the air had left my body, I pursed my lips. I got a firm grip on Minh’s right foot, the wide sole sending tingles down my spine. It sat like a marshmallow in my hands, just so incredibly soft and silky. Perhaps the lotion she’d applied this morning had gotten to work, especially during the hot car ride and walk through the area. Best part? I could only spot a few microscopic hairs and specks on her feet. Another great thing about lotion: in the beginning, it makes dirt less likely to stick to your feet.

The blood had already caused my cheeks to feel heavy yet fluttery. Minh had her hands over her mouth.

“You okay?” I asked.

“I-I wasn’t expecting you to dive in like that.”

Smirking, I brought her foot to my face. “You did always tell me sex is best when unpredictable.” With that, I planted a kiss on the middle of her foot. She let out a little gasp while I alternated between kisses and sniffs.

Captain Toad shook his head. “You two are something else.” Before either of us could tell him to quit bitching, he lay on his stomach before Minh’s left foot. Those toes curled in order from smallest to biggest, taunting him, teasing him. She even tapped her big toe against his lip like she was knocking a door. Eventually, he opened up and swallowed the intrusive digit. Though of course there was a little whine accompanied with it.

Flipping her hair back, Minh let out a soft moan. Her eyes darted between us and the tubes carrying milk from her breasts. The spurts were still tiny at this stage.

“Keep that up, and I might even squirt,” she giggled, wiggling her toes against the bridge of my nose.

Oh yeah… Mmm! That smell was so mesmerising. This time it was a warm mixture between her naturally earthy-scented feet and vanilla lotion provided by the hotel. Now this was about as good a mixture as one could get from Minh T. Not so clean to where it smelt like nothing, but not too dirty as to have me running for the hills. For each exhale I made, I almost sang a little tune. Like her foot’s scent had gotten me as high as a kite.

Forget waiting for any command from here. I’d do exactly what I thought she needed. Now with the sniffing and kissing out of the way, it was time for my tongue to get involved.

Before anything, I pushed my tongue between her two smallest toes. How would she react to this? Hmm… I got far enough to where my lips were against her toes now. She opened her mouth to gasp, but no sound came out.

Perhaps licking this area wasn’t the best way to start off.

Oh well, a little course correction around the big toe got her fingers curling. I wiped sweat off my forehead, squeezing her foot while I sucked on her big toe. Hehehe… Cool thing about this was just how flexible it was. Minh’s flexibility was typical for a girl, maybe even a bit lesser; she certainly lacked it compared to me. Yet her toes could curl so deeply, and they almost darted around like Cobrats when given the right pressure. So, when her big toe folded and lunged out at my tongue, I had to gather myself. Containing that moan took pinching my side.

The constant hum of the milking machine would’ve swallowed that moan anyway. Its grasp on our nipples had reached its maximum level by this point. Imagine the angriest baby in the world trying to drink from its small mother, even when she was empty. Such was our reality.

But pain hadn’t commenced yet. It was nothing but pleasure on my and Minh’s ends. But naturally, Captain Toad went about licking her feet in the strangest way possible.

“What are you trying to do with that?” I asked, raising an eyebrow while sucking her toes. Captain Toad had his tongue sticking out his mouth, but his mouth also wasn’t open. “You’re not gonna get any progress done with that kind of tactic.”

“What are you, a foot-licking expert or something?”

“I know you look like a dumbass right now. Watch this.” I licked my lips, then let my entire tongue roll out my mouth. As soon as it was ready, it went from Minh’s chunky heel to the ball of her foot.

“OH! F-Fuck, Toadette!” Heh, hearing her use dirty language in a sex situation was a good thing, trust me. About the only time she entered an adult mode. “Lick my foot! Mmmmm…”

No matter what light dirt got on my tongue, I swallowed with a smile. I then poked Captain Toad, nudging him to repeat after me.

“It’s just a foot,” he told himself, gulping. “A disgusting foot.” His lips and tongue trembled as they too made a journey up Minh’s beautifully broad foot. The best part was knowing that her left foot was just the slightest touch dirtier, and so Captain Toad had to suck it all up once he got to that cushiony upper portion.

“Toadette shouldn’t be doing all the heavy lifting,” Minh groaned, stuffing her toes back into his mouth. She was now in a state of staring into the distance while fondling her breasts from time to time. “Lick between my toes, and do it slowly! I want it to feel like a slimy caterpillar’s trudging along between ‘em.”

I certainly wouldn’t mind going between ‘em again.

The tubes had now gone from carrying spurts of milk to carrying a stream of milk on every fourth pump.

Heh… I think even my body had begun to produce a bit of a creamier liquid. Whenever my turn came to be stimulated, I’d better have expected to spray my stuff everywhere.

When did I start talking like such a slut?

As much as I enjoyed tasting Minh’s foot, I couldn’t deny that its cleanliness had meant I’d sucked out all the flavour in short time. Now all I was left to enjoy was having the mere form of her foot all over my face. But even then, the smell was hard to enjoy due to it reeking of my own mouth. In fact, my face smelt more like her foot than her actual foot.

“You getting bored with that foot, aren’t you?” she asked, pinching my tongue with her toes.

“Is this normal?”

“Mmm-hmm. I think I can go longer than your average Toad, but don’t feel bad at all.” She took another deep gasp, this time a huge squirt of milk exiting her right boob. “You can only chew gum for so long before it just feels like a toy in your mouth. Why don’t we switch positions?”

“And where does that leave me?” Captain Toad asked, wiping his tongue.

“Boy, I didn’t tell you to quit sucking them toes, did I?” She grinned at me. “C’mere, Toadette. Put those sexy feet on my face.”

I gulped. Well, it was only fair… After all, I was getting more enjoyment than she probably realised from her feet. And I already knew just how much she enjoyed mine.

She got flat on her back while the machine continued to do its job. Under my bare soles, her first move was to grab my feet and inhale. Not once, not twice, but ten times. On her final sniff, she moaned melodically, her fingers crawling to her pussy.

“You like it?” I asked. Ooh! What if I asked more sensually? “You likey? Do my feet smell good today, Minh?”

“Coño… They don’t stink, but I swear they’ve got a nice little odour.” And she squeezed my feet against her nose like she was cuddling two thick pillows. Having the air blow between my toes sent me into a laughing fit. Heh, while we best friends were having a good time, poor Captain Toad was sucking her dirty toes like the awkward third wheel. Felt good to not be in that position for a change.

His eyes weren’t on Minh at all, though. They were on me. Okay, so what? Did he want to study my reactions to see how I responded to stimuli on my feet? He was more than welcome to, but if he was ever gonna try it out, he’d better be prepared for a trip to the smelly feet factory.

Interestingly, despite the fact I had long toes, Minh didn’t seem to interested in sucking on them. Instead, she focused on licking between them and…under them. You know, like the little areas underneath that curl in… If only I could describe it better. Whatever you’d call those places, those are where her tongue spent the majority of its time when not covering my soles in her spit.

“I like that…” I whispered, scrunching my toes.

“Really?” She scrubbed harder, giggling as she pushed my foot deeper into her face. I was practically stomping on her without standing up. Then she purred her lips in that same soft section…

“Oh my— Minh!” For a second, it felt like a bit of piss had come out of me. Looking down, no mess was made. But my pussy was indeed trembling, and from the looks of it, so were my nipples. They hadn’t quite caught up to her level, but that dairy exited on every successful attempt. Yet the bad news was that my nipples were getting sore; over ten minutes had gone by.

The machine read that it’d gotten three of out six litres filled, maybe a bit more.

Though he was on his stomach, I knew sucking Minh’s toes wasn’t arousing for Captain Toad. He was normal. Unfortunately, that normalness was screwing over our progress. Not wanting Minh to quit running her tongue on my toes, I came up with an easy solution.

“Get over here so I can jerk you off. Her foot is probably asleep from all your inaction anyway.”

“Jerk off?”

That woke him right the fuck up. In a second, he was already sitting beside me with his legs stretched. And that floppy dick had already begun to form into a tower. Before I could even get myself ready to accommodate two Toads, Captain Toad rubbed his hand on my bare back.

“Smooth…”

“Stop that.” I clenched my hand a number of times, delaying grabbing his dick. “I’ve never given a handjob before.”

“Not gonna blow me?”

“Yeah, I’m kinda busy letting her go to town on my feet, and I don’t need your man juice in my mouth today or ever. Now give me a tutorial.”

Minh chuckled. “Didn’t you give some stranger a footjob? It’s the same concept but with hands.”

Captain Toad blinked. “That’s a real term? What the actual fuck. And why would—”

“We don’t need to relive that moment,” I said, squeezing his dick so hard that he shrieked like a kitten. Hmm… A cock certainly felt different in the hands compared to around my arches. And at least this time, I was handling the junk of somebody I knew. No creep selling fireworks, no Scapelli who would kill me afterwards. If Captain Toad was anything, he’d make for an average boy toy I could use before getting bored or uncomfortable.

Now that the shock had worn off, I cracked my knuckles and took another stab at this. I made a first around the cock, then slowly went up and down. It was slow, and I looked more at Captain Toad’s face than at his penis.

While nothing changed on the surface, he was breathing notably slower. And he’d gone back to rubbing his hand on my back again. If nothing else, this got a bit more milk to come out of his body.

“Am I doing good so far?” I asked, continuing the robotic motions.

“Your hands are so soft,” he said, intertwining his fingers with my free hand. “Like, wow…”

“Wearing that maid outfit must’ve brought out your gal side,” I said in a mock valley-girl accent. “So, you like that they’re soft?”

“They feel— OUCH!” He scowled at the machine, then grinned back at me. “Nice…”

My apparently soft hand gave his dick a small tug. He sighed instantly, flexing his own toes. Which… How did I not take note of the fact he was barefoot this entire time? Now, while in the middle of giving him a handjob and getting my big toes licked by Minh, I was gazing at the way Captain Toad moved his feet around. Occasionally, they’d sit still. But that was only when I gave my hand a rest. Every time I restarted, his soles would either rub together or he’d curl his unpainted toes.

Smooch…

I looked at my non-jerking-off hand, finding his lips there while he looked me in my purple eyes. And not too long afterwards, Minh started stroking the tops of my feet.

“Oh yeah…” That was all I could utter. It was like they wanted to stimulate all my senses today. I was massaging Captain Toad’s cock, I tasted Minh’s soles, I smelt her toes, I saw two pairs of bare feet, and I heard my own whimpers and moans above the raging noise from the sucking machine.

He gave me another grin, then dove in for a kiss on my—

SMOOCH!

He knew better than to aim for my lips this time. He kept it to the cheek, finally looking back down on his cock as I increased the speed at which I stroked it. While there was some pre-cum, it wasn’t enough to cause a mess or anything. Just a speck got on my finger while I let him tickle my back.

“I think you’re cutest when you’re weirded out,” he said, taking a lick up my cheek.

Fuck, this was crazy. I’d never engaged in sex like this in my nineteen years of life.

The whole time, Minh was constantly returning to playing with her pussy. Every two or three minutes, she’d lick my foot, slide her hand against it, then return to letting her fingers do to work. Sure, sometimes she’d clench and squeeze her thighs together, but there was more finger action than anything else.

Yep. Totally crazy. I was having two people masturbate to me at the same time. Not only was one a girl, but she was someone who’d fantasised about me for years. And now we had another one, just with a dick. A throbbing dick that started to get slippery.

“Mmm… Bottoms of your feet are so yummy,” she wheezed, holding her breath while furiously stroking the upper part of her slit. “So, so yummy… Oh… Yeah, wiggle your toes, lemme see ‘em wiggle…”

I wiggled my black-painted toes, also watching Captain Toad’s toes squirm as I firmly grasped his cock in my hand.

Red in the face, she let out a series of heavy gasps. Her legs shook on every gasp, and throughout it all, my best friend wouldn’t stop sniffing my spit-covered feet. These lengthy things remained pinned against her face while it looked like she was having a sexual spasm. Or an orgasm, whichever term suits you more. No extra liquid came out, but her giddy and tired-ish voice said it all. “I love your feet, Toadette…”

Before she squeaked out the “F” word, my hand got hot.

It went all across my fist, some shooting onto the floor. It was like someone had taken a narrow tube of paint, removed the lid, and just thrown it in one direction. Though it was sticky, I continued to pump, finally feeling the smooth head instead of the extra foreskin. Captain Toad’s moans were so feminine by this point, they overlapped with Minh’s. Yet when I looked at his face, I was taken aback.

Seeing him moan and groan so helplessly, knowing I caused it… My hand went faster again, pushing out a few more spurts before he ultimately whispered, “Stop, stop…”

He and Minh were both trembling, both delivering tons of milk into the machine. At this rate, it was just a matter of me getting off. Sure, it would’ve been embarrassing to do it in front of these two, but we could make it quick.

“I think it’s done!” Minh pushed my slimy feet off her face and read the machine’s display. “Cielos— Eight litres? How did we get that much?”

“Probably because we both came,” Captain Toad answered, hugging me from the side. “I imagine it didn’t expect us to… Toadette?”

“Hmm?”

“Please look at your boobs.”

First I was scared they’d be bleeding with the intense pressure going on. But this alternative reality was equally horrifying. The inside of the tubes was white from start to finish. Little bubbles and air pockets showed that they were still draining my contents into the machine. Wait, screw all that! How did I even make this much milk!? This was literally impossible!

Minh gave me a concerned glance before forcing the machine to come to a crawl. Once its gears stopped, whatever milk remained in the tube dribbled down until she could remove the clamps.

“Ooh, Toadette milk! Don’t mind if I do.” Pervert. Sure, just drink my strawberry-flavoured milk straight from the tube.

“You must’ve been really turned on,” Minh commented, tossing us towels to clean this semen. “Never met a girl so excited by a handjob, but that’s cool. You shouldn’t have even made that much milk.”

“I bet she was really turned on.” Captain Toad tapped me with his foot.

I scoffed. “My body just wanted to get the mission over with. I’m sure that’s all it was.”

“Jeez, and I thought Minh was the shittiest liar on Earth.”

“Oye, freaky side or not, we got two extra litres thanks to Toadette. Meaning that Her Highness should not have any more needs for our bodily fluids.”

“Amen to that. Fucking nipples wanna dance themselves off my body.”

Despite not climaxing in any regard, my groin was still tingling whenever I gave Minh’s pudgy feet a glance. Even as Captain Toad’s dick flopped or he put his socks on, I felt like I was walking on clouds.

If nothing else, non-traditional sex was interesting enough for me to replay the incident as I stepped out the room.

Chapter Text

And even after offering all my milk to this event, there was still work to be done. But at least sweeping floors in a building was as easy as it got. Monotony was the real obstacle. After such an intense experience in the other building, this was nothing but busywork. Why were only two Toads assigned to clean such a large room other than Peach’s love of toying with me?

Credit to Minh: her ability to make up short songs on the fly allowed her to keep sane while I was dying of boredom.

Didn’t think she’d be so open to tryin’ it out
Sniffing my soles and licking all about
Too mad my boy’s too much of a pansy to play
Gotta train him to suck these toes right one day

Yet all it took was a crumpled wrapper tossed at her feet for her voice to cut off.

“I hope you never get in the music business, ‘cause you’ll make everything corny.” As Captain Toad bit into a candy bar, Minh slowly looked his way.

“Pick it up.”

“Still on guard duty. Work can’t be interrupted.” He gulped. “And considering it just touched your toes, I’ll double pass.”

She rolled her eyes and grabbed the wrapper with her toes, setting it down on her dust pile. “Quick to say mean things about my feet, but when they’re stroking his legs in bed, he doesn’t mind one bit.” She swept in my direction, dancing, gaze focused on the filthy floor. “If he ever complains about your feet sweating, I say rub ‘em all over his face until he stops crying.”

“Try it, Toadette. See how far you get.”

“Don’t tempt me.” I slumped against a wall, glancing at Minh. “You have a way of making the most boring tasks look fun.”

“All about keeping spirits up.” She kicked some grit into the pile. “Even at life’s toughest, we run on happy energy, my family.”

“That’d drive me crazy.”

She chuckled. “If I didn’t think this way, I’d probably be dangling in my closet years ago.”

“And probably would’ve brought the whole rack and walls down.”

WHACK!

As Captain Toad bounced against a table, I clenched my stomach in a burst of laughter. Half the broomstick stuck out his mouth.

“Okay, maybe I asked for that,” he gargled.

“Now I’m on guard duty,” Minh snapped, plopping next to me. “Finish the job before I ask Toadette to gag you with her toes.”

I still had to catch my breath, unable to quit chuckling.

“Colour me impressed that you can put up with him so well.”

“Duh. All bark and no bite. No way is a kitty like him gonna make me wet myself.” She scrunched her toes as he passed us, holding up a middle finger.

“Just a day with him would make me never wanna get with a guy.”

“Girls are worse.”

“I wouldn’t know.” I sighed, keeping an eye on the tops of Minh’s feet. The way she continued curling them was delicious.

“Remember Jolene?”

“Prefer to not remember that bitch.”

“When we got together, she had a great mouth game, but that crept into our social lives. Couldn’t even talk to you without her thinking I was cheating on her. Just one example out of the girls I’ve been with, Toadette.”

I scoffed. “I’ve seen guys do even worse.”

“But I got experience. Girls are just as if not crazier.” A soft moan came from her when her foot touched mine. “You’re different.”

“Because I don’t swing that way.”

“Because you’re not losing your mind if I don’t talk to you for a week. What I said isn’t just about girlfriends. Try juggling dozens of friendships, and it turns out everyone wants a piece of you.” She smiled. “Besides, have you ever cursed me out for chatting up a dude you had your eye on?”

I shook my head. Great thing she didn’t have mind-reading abilities.

“Most sensible friend I could ever be stuck with,” she whispered, inching closer.

With how she’d begun to touch my side, I didn’t know whether she was flirting or simply being nice. Especially with her rubbing her foot against mine so slowly. I thanked her, but damn, I wanted her to be a bit more direct.

While we waited for the man to finish our task, I took a quick look at my feet. If they weren’t dirty before, they were the complete opposite now. The dust had amassed all over the soles, creating perfectly grey footprints. Minh’s soles were even blacker, but hey, that was a normal day for her. Rubbing mine together brushed off some of the dust, but that colour had no intention of changing.

After a couple of minutes, the broom flew into the corner.

“And I finished faster than either of you would’ve by yourself,” Captain Toad bragged.

“Really?” I scanned the room to check for any leftover dust bunnies. “Whatever makes you feel good. Let’s get some sunlight.”

“Where you going?”

“Day’s still long,” Minh yawned, checking her phone. “Gonna end at Toadette’s place, but before that, we’re taking Penny to town.”

“Alright, see you never.”

“You don’t wanna come?” I asked.

He spun. “I was invited?”

“I was just being nice. If you don’t want to…”

“Can’t.” He pointed to his outfit. “Busy schedule today. Plus, given our little reputation amongst a certain family, I say the farther we stay apart for now, the better. Especially if you’re dragging—”

“Me?” Penelope stepped between us, letting out a loud groan as she stretched.

“We’ll be careful,” I said. Just as Minh took Penelope’s hand and stepped away, I got closer to Captain Toad. “Behave yourself, and there’s a fraction of a chance I give you something special.”

He looked stunned. “Provided I’m not dealing with your nasty feet, this adult side of yours has me piqued. I’ll probably try. Probably.”

“‘Probably’ won’t get you far.” With a spin, I left him with a potential boner.

Did I do well back there? Ugh, they should’ve had classes on how to talk to members of the opposite sex. TV always makes it look easy and magical, to the point where teens succeed every other day. Yet here I was, age 19, my heart dying of embarrassment every time I even whispered a sexual statement. I must’ve looked like a scared dog back there.

“Okay, Miss Mushroom City, where exactly are we going?” Once we stepped outside of Super Star Plaza, I put my slides on. “Cross out an arcade, movie theatre, park, horrible water system…”

“I think our little friend would love visiting Circuit Rink.”

“Circuit Rink?” Penelope’s DS hit the sidewalk. “I get to drive?”

“Drive?”

Minh was animated. “It’s like a miniature racing place, Toadette. Think those old Mario Kart tournaments, only with tons more safety and tons less Spiny Shells.”

My eyes widened. “Absolutely not.”

“Tranquila. The easiest courses have them glued to the tracks. They got seatbelts. You can’t even burn out or anything. It’s literally as safe as it gets. We gonna deny poor Penny here the thrill of being a speed demon when there hasn’t been in accident in forever?” She put her face against Penelope’s, both making those irritating cutesy eyes. “Plus, cars got two seats. One of us stays with her, ‘kay?”

“If something goes wrong—”

“It. Won’t.” As a bus pulled up, she yanked Penelope up the stairs before I could protest. With an exasperated sigh, I stepped aboard.

The very concept of Mario Kart had always been so dangerous. It originally began as a one-off event where the main man himself, Super Mario, wanted to race throughout the Mushroom Kingdom. Yet popularity converted it into an annual thing back in the ‘90s. It was interesting when Peach was finally old enough to race, always handling her car in the slipperiest fashion yet maintaining high speed.

They converted some of the tournaments into little video games for those Nintendo systems, where I largely got my impressions.

It was less the racing that terrified me and more the use of items. Combat during a race? Ask our last car chase, and it becomes clear that that is a nightmare. In Mario Kart’s case, Bob-ombs had been used to blow racers up. Never to the point of destroying them, but all its selected racers had strength surpassing that of the average person. Mario, Bowser, Donkey Kong, Peach, even that bastard Wario.

But if Minh was absolutely sure that items wouldn’t be used, there was a chance Penelope would be okay.

I could barely think of alternative activities because of how loud the bus was. Not only were these two screaming everything they said, but the rest of the bus was packed. To be expected in Mushroom City, but still, could I not get a single second of peace?

Fifteen to twenty stops later, relief finally arrived.

Standing a quarter of a kilometre away from us was a silver stadium. The roof was lined with a bold blue, and various flags waved in the sky. The castle had previously amazed me with its size, along with the Mushroom Kingdom Hotel and its many floors. This gave that similar feeling, only more imposing on top of being impressive. When I heard the engines echoing through the metal coliseum, my hot feet started to turn cold.

Minh poked me. “Toadette, have I given you any reason not to trust me here?” She shushed me before I could counter. “Arcade doesn’t count.”

“What are you afraid of, Miss Toadette?” Penelope tightened her sneakers’ laces. “You act like this is a dangerous race event. Besides, if my mother could do them when she was younger, I must have the blood to survive anything.”

“I’ll go,” I said with regret, “but I’m getting in that car with you, not her.”

“Um, no. Miss Minh has played way more games than you, she seems less scared than you, and she says she’s driven before. She’s my partner.”

“How do you even know—”

“We weren’t quiet on the bus,” Minh said. “I must’ve done a ten-out-of-ten job on your pedi, ‘cause you were staring at it the whole ride.”

“Penelope, I need to make sure you’re okay. And frankly, her protecting you means no one is protected.” I looked to Minh. “No offence.”

The girl’s eyebrows slanted. “I wanna race with—”

“You will go with me. End of discussion.”

“It is not the end of—”

“Come on.” I began to walk ahead.

“So you don’t want me to win? Is that it?” She stomped on the sidewalk, bellowing at the top of her lungs. “I am racing with Miss Minh! That’s an order!”

“Enough! Shut up!” I snatched her wrist and pulled her in so close that she could taste my breath. “If you were really in charge of me, your mom wouldn’t have put me in charge of babysitting you. Either we do this together or I’m taking you straight to the hotel. Got it?”

There was little resistance as I pulled her to Circuit Rink. Minh also continued in a state of shock.

Inside the stadium looked about as impressive as the outside. We stood on a large, concrete floor that showed off the basic car that every racer would use. It was a basic machine with stripes and some wings on the side, appropriately called the Wild Wing. For something meant to give a Mario Kart experience, I’d have expected them to use actual karts. While Penelope glared at the car, her face grumpy and body stiff with hate, I readied my coins. Only under working for Peach was I comfortable spending 400 coins for some thrills.

“Which course, ma’am?” A Wiggler at the counter pointed me to the race maps on a screen, each course located on a different floor.

I pointed to the simplest one. “2003 Baby Park.” Nothing but a simple oval. How could anything go wrong?

“I’m not a damn baby!” Penelope hoisted herself onto the counter and clenched her fists. “2003 Waluigi Stadium, please!”

Was she insane? The track she chose had sharp bends, mud everywhere, that ugly leprechaun’s face plastered on banners, fireballs, everything we didn’t want to deal with. Don’t get me started on how the elevation constantly changed.

After she dropped from the counter, I didn’t hesitate to give her a quick bop on the mouth. Back to grabbing her wrist, too.

“Ma’am, continue to the right, through Passage G, and y’all should be set to go.” The Wiggler tossed us two helmets—one fit a human child, the other fit an adult Toad.

“Thank you,” Minh said, scooching us forward. “Play nice, you two. I’ll be rooting for you both.”

We split ways, Penelope and I heading in the direction of other racers.

“Every time I think I’m starting to like you, you do something beyond ridiculous,” I muttered.

“That makes two of us.”

We walked down a long hallway. Once in a wide elevator with all the other eager racers, to my shock, we began to descend. We went down for a good while, too. When the other door opened, it was like we were 400 metres under the ground. Soon the smell of mud hit my nostrils, and a worker directed us down another corridor.

“Next race in three minutes, folks.” He pointed to the track’s starting line, where 30 cars were parked and running. “Hurry, hurry, don’t wanna get a late start!”

Such an ugly arena Penelope had to choose for us. The backdrop here was a dark sunset, and most the lighting came from these bright towers. Above and around us was a crowd making their crowd noise. But this actual track, the one that looked too poor for a dirt bike event to rent out, was likely not worth the money I forked for this privilege.

“Let’s do this, I guess.” I pointed to a red and black car.

Penelope didn’t move, though.

“I have to pee.”

“For fuck’s sake… Really? Now?”

“Yes, Miss Toadette. Now.”

“We’re already down here. You’d better hold it in.”

“Okay.” Her annoyingly lifeless expression didn’t change. “Then don’t yell at me when the seat gets wet.”

Calm down, Toadette. Don’t knock the child out. Not yet.

“Should’ve asked when we were up there.” Begrudgingly, I pulled the brat through the way we came, informing the man at the elevator of our situation. He emphasised there was no way we’d make it back before the race started, but I’d rather get 30th place than have to smell her pissy pants for the rest of the day. Eventually the doors opened, and I pushed the only button that would bring us up. “Come on.”

There she was again, being stupid. Was her need to pee so bad that it killed her legs?

“Penelope, let’s go.”

Three seconds passed before she smirked. “Cheer me on from the sidelines.”

“Little—”

And the door closed. With no button to reverse the elevator mid-motion, I was left speechless, helpless and ascending for a solid minute. As soon as it opened at the top—BAM!—my knuckles cracked with the blow they gave that down button.

Selfish little brat! If she got hurt, this was my job on the line, a fact she seemed to casually forget. All because Minh could be a better racer than me. Better racer meant nothing if she couldn’t guarantee the girl’s safety.

The worker stopped me when I stepped out the elevator.

“I’m warning you, ma’am. They’re already off.”

“The cars are baked into the ground, right? Like with rails? At least she’ll be fine.”

He gulped. “The rails are only for the amateur courses. Intermediate and above, they’re loose.”

“Come on!” There was no sugarcoating how likely my brain was to melt into a puddle of glop. “Next you’re gonna tell me they use items here, too. Like an actual race.”

His silent stare made my fists curl tighter.

“I have a kid, too,” he said. “I’m sorry for what you’re going through.”

“Not your fault. Thanks.” As I sprinted down the hall, I pulled out my phone and speed-dialled the moron who got us into this situation. Well, one of two morons. “Remind me to punch you in the face the next time I see you!”

“What?”

“Didn’t cross your mind to tell me this track had no rails? Or that they used items here? Or that it lacked any sort of safety measures for dumb kids?”

“I thought you knew. It said so on the screen you totally saw. And where are you? Hiding under your seat?”

Once I was back in the brown arena, I heard her drop her phone, yelling. But I had to focus on the race before addressing her. The large lap counter listed five laps, and the racers were all on their first. I could see them zipping by in the distance, but they still had a long way to go before crossing me. The sight of banana peels scattered and Koopa shells flinging across the track made me wanna bang my head against the wall. How many more obstacles did today want to throw Toadette’s way?

Penelope better have had the nerve to be wearing a seatbelt.

“As soon as I see her car come by, I’m jumping right into the seat.”

“This isn’t a movie, Toadette!” Minh’s screaming grew louder. “Let’s just hope she comes out okay!”

“I don’t think—”

“Worst that happens is she spins out or breaks a leg in a crash. These aren’t weak little toy cars.”

“That’s exactly what worries me.”

She sighed. “Just let the race play out, please.”

I frowned, glaring at the line of racers.

For someone as stupid as Penelope, the brat was somehow handling the track better than expected. She hadn’t crashed into a wall yet, only occasionally veering into the mud pits. Hmph. If I were there, I’d be drifting like a pro, using the car’s brakes to make extreme turns just like in a video game. Better than she was doing right now, as she just hit another racer trying to turn.

And when she made contact with his car, I saw her wince.

Here she was, reaching the second lap. We exchanged conflicting glances before she floored the pedal.

“No!” A green Koopa shell caused her car’s back half to tip, stopping her for a painful two seconds.

“That’s what you get for not paying attention!”

Disrespectful as she was, she flicked me off, then continued on. At this rate, she’d fallen to the lower positions. Almost like all her opponents were adults and she was a child who shouldn’t have been on this extreme track. Well, she made her bed, and now she was gonna lie in it. Shell after shell struck her, she slipped on a banana peel, and when she finally snagged an Item Box, all it gave her were coins to give a tiny boost to her car’s max speed—something the girl couldn’t achieve with how poor she handled corners.

Before the finish line was a giant ramp that boosted the cars. While others were already on their third lap, Penelope was just making it to the rainbow-coloured ramp.

“At this point, her chances of winning are completely shot,” I said over the phone.

“Give her some encouragement, Toadette.”

“She treated me like I’m some piece of trash, and you’re telling me to cheer her on. I’ll yell at her to give up if you want.”

She groaned. “That is so child—”

And in a flash, the crowd screamed in unison. The obnoxious lighting in the stadium had completely gone out, leaving nothing but the glow from the boost panels and the racers’ headlights. Maybe a few phone lights within the crowd, but aside from these small sources, this place got uncomfortable.

Then I jumped out my slides when a huge lightning bolt zigzagged its way onto the first-place racer. Then it struck the second-place one, then the third-place one, and it stiffened and burnt every other racer.

“Why am I not surprised?” The only car still moving smoothly was Penelope’s. If these cars were driven by stick, then she was on her fifth gear.

As happy as Penelope was, I knew this item’s effect wasn’t gonna be permanent. After being stunned, these cars would immediately speed off. The girl ended up in sixth place when things became normal.

Just as the stun wore off, a nearby racer slammed their car straight into hers. Then another one launched a Red Shell at her. All it took were those two attacks for Penelope’s smile to fade. Finally she was on the same page as me; these racers weren’t gonna take kindly to her use of a Lightning item. If nobody liked it in the games, nobody liked it in real life either.

Ouch! They really didn’t like it. Even the racer in front of her threw back a Fake Item Box. It exploded and she got a taste of her own medicine, feeling the faint electrocution as her car sputtered.

“You just can’t make friends in this city, huh?” I shook my head.

“The racers on these advanced tracks are very serious. They usually throw away Lightnings because they think they’re cheap.”

“Well, that’s for Penelope to deal with. I think I’m just gonna sit back and watch.”

Then I saw a racer continue to slam her car against one of the walls. She had dropped to ninth place, but being between all the stronger racers had her looking in every direction. And the longer she went on, the more damage her car took.

“Yep, just gonna watch,” I repeated slowly.

Even without seeing her, I felt Minh’s frustration building on the other end of the line. She audibly gave up.

“Jump in that car, Toadette.”

“No problem.”

Chapter Text

Peach and her daughter were destined to be the end of me one way or another.

“Get out of the way!”

I jumped back. What the…! I was standing in the middle of the track. Well, my distracted sprint into the path of these racers meant that Penelope was in my grasp. Either I’d drag her spoiled butt out that car, or I was hopping in.

“Penelope!” I felt my teeth grind together as I growled her name. She was coming into view. I squatted, already lifting my heels to dive into the second seat.

“I don’t need you!” She honked the horn, her eyes scrunched under that helmet’s visor.

“Moron.” Didn’t matter. I had her. If she didn’t go in my direction, she’d drift her way into a sea of mud.

She kept going straight. I must’ve looked like a psycho, smiling as she was about to hit me. Well, here goes nothing…

The second I jumped, the crowd cheered. Then suddenly I dropped like a stone. My ribs shook from the impact, and I felt the wind blowing past me. As the crowd cheered louder and louder, I finally reoriented myself.

Not only was I not in Penelope’s car, but I wasn’t even on a seat. The driver’s tight grip kept me from flying off the car’s hood. He was human, professionally dressed, his focus shifting between me and the dirt road. But eventually that focus shifted entirely to me. The question was who recognised whom first.

“You!” Anger pulsed through his veins, clearly visible from the mark Captain Toad had left on his forehead. “So they really couldn’t ice you?”

I snarled at him. “No, but we iced some of your guys. Are they still frozen or have they finally melted?”

Our incident was fresh in my mind. My first blowjob, and a disgusting one at that. The tip of his dick probably still had my teeth marks in it. His grip on my wrist was now becoming as painful as that bite.

“The yellow-haired girl belongs to you?”

“Don’t even think about messing with her!”

He adjusted his tie with his other hand and let the wheel go wild. As we rounded a corner, my face slammed into the hood.

“Relax. We’re just gonna have some fun.” He chuckled. “So you stay out of Leo Scapelli’s way, or we’ll bury you in this track!”

With a grunt, he flung me into the air. The audience let out a collective gasp, probably reaching out to catch me. Too bad I didn’t land that far, instead plunging into a lake of mud. When I resurfaced, body brown, I heard another sticky splash. Then the sound of waddling as I struggled to pull myself out.

“Toadette!”

“You jumped from all the way up there?” I grabbed my friend’s thicker arm. “Are you crazy?”

“Acting like I’m a daredevil when you were just about to action-movie your way into Penny’s car.” She laughed, but her expression quickly turned serious as she watched the racers continue to lob items at the child.

“The one who threw me is the Scapelli whose dick we had to suck to get out of there. He knows it’s me, and now he knows Penelope is ‘related’ to me.”

She wiped her face. “He’d probably be cool if you didn’t treat his wiener like a smoked sausage.”

“If the so-called captain didn’t get himself caught like me, he could’ve knocked him out on the first go.”

We climbed up onto the harder dirt, myself shuddering from the mud. As soon as we could get our shoes on, I took another look at the scene.

This Leo guy was in fifth place, just ahead of Penelope. They were nearing the end of their third lap when he threw another Fake Item Box in her direction. As it exploded on her, she screamed, and I could feel her muscles tense from a distance. And behind her, the other racers were still out for blood. Koopa shells and banana peels weren’t enough. Now they’d brought in Thunder Clouds, which pumped more electricity into her every ten seconds. That little speed boost was negated by Leo’s ability to attack her easily once her car was right behind his.

Minh lit up. “Can you jump and carry me at the same time?”

“Barely. How… Okay, why?”

She signalled for me to follow her to the starting line. As I did so, two racers had passed us and were now beginning their fourth lap. As a third nearly knocked me off my feet, Minh looked me in the eye.

“You’re gonna throw me in Penny’s car.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.” She pointed to Penelope’s position, about 24 seconds away and still under siege. “You try to jump in again, and she’ll avoid you. Yell at her later, but now I’m taking control.”

“And if I miss?”

She groaned. “Don’t think about missing. You have any other suggestion?”

This was the moment when I would’ve scoffed at how everyone relied on me to make plans. But now I had nothing, and Minh would be the hero of the day. Well, at least she gave me a little break, but her plan was deadlier than some of mine. What were the chances I’d be able to throw her in that car without something getting in the way?

No time to wonder. They were coming hot. The fourth-place racer along with the fifth-place racer. Leo.

“If this is what the little idiot wants!” I grabbed Minh and prepared to jump into the air again. She waved at Penelope, and the girl’s jaw dropped. Whatever the reason, she kept going straight like last time. But she was even faster, since before the line was a huge downward slope. I flexed my small muscles. “Go!”

As soon as Minh left my grasp, I became weightless. A car hit my falling body and sent me rolling to the side of the track. Somehow my breasts felt even flatter and my body as sore as when I’d been shot. Panting, I lifted my shirt to find only a faint mark on my left breast. And when I stood to check on the racers, I could finally smile again.

Keeping to the edge of the track, I sprinted as fast as I could to keep up with the action.

Minh had swapped seats with Penelope, and she now gripped the steering wheel. She wasn’t flooring the gas. No, she crushed the pedal so hard it was on the verge of breaking.

The Scapelli screamed as he saw her pass him with a massive exhaust cloud.

“Ooh!” I pulled out my phone. Since we never ended the call, I’d be able to listen in.

“She just doesn’t listen sometimes.” That was definitely Penelope’s whiny voice. Though she also spoke quicker than usual and noticeably stepped over some of her own words.

“Take it from someone who’s known her since the beginning. If Toadette’s willing to jump in a moving car for you, she doesn’t hate you.”

Leo held up three bananas, hurling them in front of the girls.

“It takes a lot to make her hate someone, like wanting to hurt one of her friends!” Minh slammed on the brakes, then, to my shock, angled the car to zigzag through the three peels. At the same time, Leo ran into his own item, losing control.

No matter how simple or trashy Minh presented herself, she’d always reveal the unexpected once you put her in a situation.

Running to follow the racers proved to be excellent for me. A nice workout so that when we finally had to skip from this place, I’d be more than ready.

With her speed and skill, Minh guided her and Penelope into first place for the final lap. They made it through the first three turns without a problem and were now racing uphill. But Leo eventually caught up to the girls, approaching the side of the car. Even with Minh’s advanced movers, he didn’t seem to be intimidated anymore.

“You’re good, mushroom. In fact, I’ve never seen a chick race so professionally.”

“Must only race against guys to feel good about yourself. So sad, so sad…”

“You’re confident too. But while you’re great on the road, I’ve got the upper hand!” He dug under the set and pulled out a… No! It couldn’t be! “A racer is nothing without his items!”

The dreaded Spiny Shell. Any Koopa with this on its back wasn’t too threatening on its own, but in this context, the Spiny Shell was hell in a shell. The blue demon was nothing like its cousins. Coughing up panic, Minh began to move her car as little as possible. Keeping it straight would maintain its speed, but at the same time, it only made her an easier target.