Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Ryujin, her hood pulled down to hide her hair, looked up to briefly contemplate JYP. Hundreds, thousands of times she had seen the building at this point in her life, and she didn't give it looks like this anymore. What was the point? It was practically like her second home. She knew it as well as she knew her own home.

She stopped contemplating it and stepped into it, compelled by her thoughts. “How will she be? All alone,” she thought bitterly. “Don't worry, I'm coming.” Jisu, Chaeryeong and Yuna were at their respective homes, enjoying the vacations around Seollal, with no need to come here. Ryujin herself had no obligation to be here either—and yet she felt she had to be there.

Already in the bowels of the place, walking with a not-very-slow-not-very-fast pace, Ryujin took off her hood and dusted her light brown hair so that it fell loosely around her shoulders. It was so short that it barely touched them.

In the dorm area, she glanced at TWICE's dorm. None of the nine girls were there. There was no one in the Stray Kids' either. Again, what was the point, having a home to go back to? “But she… she can't. Her home is 'too far away'.” Ryujin swallowed saliva to get the bitterness off the roof of her mouth.

In front of ITZY's bedroom, Ryujin hesitated. Would it be too obvious for her to be there just that day, February fourteenth? Would she notice? “Never mind. I'll just say I came because I had nothing to do.” Ryujin wasn't fooling anyone; she would spit out the truth as soon as she could.

She knocked on the door as a warning and entered. She made her way to the living room, lonely until the door to one of the rooms opened. The first thing Ryujin appreciated about Yeji was her blonde hair, as the leader only poked her head out. Her eyes widened like saucers at the sight of Ryujin.

“Ryujin! Hi,” she greeted, approaching Ryujin. She was dressed in pajamas.

Yeji's voice oozed enthusiasm, and Ryujin was thankful she still had her face mask on, for she hid her smile.

“Good morning, Yeji,” Ryujin said, taking off her jacket and hanging it on the coat rack. She walked further into the room and patted Yeji's shoulder as she passed her. “Hope everything is all right.”

“It is,” Yeji replied, not losing any of her happiness. “What are you doing here?”

“Ah, I'm just passing by,” Ryujin lied, heading to her room.

“Oh,” Yeji's incredibly disappointed interjection came from behind her.

Ryujin smiled. The pantomime would only last a little longer. Why? Because she loved teasing Yeji. Ryujin would make up for it later, of course. She was incapable of doing anything to hurt her beloved Yeji.

“Yeah,” Ryujin commented, turning on the room light, “I came to pick up something I left here. One of my favorite shirts, because I'm going on a date with someone today.”

“Ah.” Ryujin could almost touch the sadness in Yeji's voice. “Cool.” Yeji couldn't fake enthusiasm.

Ryujin rummaged through her closet, letting out a “Here it is” when she found what she was looking for. She spread out her shirt and turned to Yeji, biting her lip to suppress a smile, despite her face mask.

“What do you think?” she asked Yeji hesitantly. “It's nice, isn't it?”

Yeji looked down at the shirt, the corners of her mouth turned down slightly. Sorry, hold on a little longer.

Yeji's eyes sharpened as she narrowed them suspiciously. “It's pretty, but don't you wear that around the house?”

“That's right.”

Yeji's confused look almost made her laugh and ruin the performance.

“I don't understand,” Yeji said, shaking her head from side to side.

Ryujin approached her, throwing her shirt over her arm.

“I'm coming to stay with you, unnie,” she said, winking at the leader.

Yeji's eyes widened and she blinked several times, looking, in Ryujin's opinion, absolutely adorable.

“Ah, really? W-why?” Yeji mumbled, looking into her eyes.

Ryujin almost got lost in those eyes, but managed to dodge the spell.

“Because I want to,” she replied, smiling and waiting for her smile to reach her eyes. “I don't like to think that you're alone here.”

Yeji blushed and looked away. God, you couldn't get any more adorable. Sooner rather than later, Yeji looked at her again with a raised eyebrow.

“Don't lie to me!” she scolded her. “Don't play with me like that!”

“Sorry, sorry,” Ryujin said, raising a hand in defeat. “You know it's hard not to.”

Yeji snorted and left the room. In her green pajamas, she gave the impression of a sulky child. Again: endearing.

Ryujin chuckled and closed the door to make herself more comfortable.

“So,” Yeji's shout pierced the walls, “your date is with me, isn't it?!”

Ryujin choked and started coughing. She had forgotten that her words could be interpreted that way. Yeji's laughter made her smile between coughs.

~~~

“Let's make the meal together,” Ryujin proposed, already changed into more comfortable clothes, entering the living room.

Yeji's blonde head turned to her swiftly.

“Sure, why not,” she said, getting up from the couch and accompanying Ryujin to the kitchen.

“Do we have ingredients to make tteokguk?” Ryujin asked, opening and closing the cabinets.

“Why that?” Yeji asked back, but helping her look for the ingredients.

“You didn't eat anything special to celebrate Seollal, did you?” Yeji's silence was answer enough. “Well, we'll celebrate Seollal.”

“But it already happened.”

“But you didn't celebrate it.” Ryujin put down the black peppers she had grabbed from the counter and faced Yeji. “It's going to take a while, but…” She shrugged.

Yeji snorted and gave her a sidelong glance, but a smile tugged at her lips.

“You're stubborn,” she said, pulling a tray out of the refrigerator.

“I don't deny it,” Ryujin agreed. Yeji's chuckle lifted her spirits a thousand shades.

A while later, a couple of pots on the stove were steaming deliciously, while the rice cooker was quietly cooking the rice.

With nothing else to do but wait, Ryujin leaned against the counter, wiping her hands with a white handkerchief. Her attention fell on her blonde companion, who was frowning at the pots.

“It's not going to burn, you know,” Ryujin told her, mockingly.

“I know,” Yeji replied sticking her tongue out at she, moving away from the stove and mimicking her position.

They spent a few dozen seconds in silence, watching the steam from the pots rise and spread through the air. It was Ryujin who broke the silence:

“Have you been well?”

“Hum? Yeah, sure. Why wouldn't I be?”

Ryujin shrugged, looking at the fire on the burners.

“Dunno. You've been alone for several days.”

“It's only been six.” Out of the corner of her eye, Ryujin saw Yeji wave a hand to play it down. “It's no big deal.”

You lie. Ryujin knew that gesture well; Yeji used it when she didn't want to worry anyone. However, Ryujin let it be. She would get the stones to talk before Yeji admitted that not going home was taking its toll on her mental health.

Ryujin felt her blood boil like the broth in the pots in front of her, and her gaze became so hard she could split stones with it. Yeji had gone months without visiting her parents, her relatives and her pets. That couldn't be coped with without some kind of consequence to oneself. She threw the handkerchief on the counter.

“I hate that those bastards won't let you go home,” she mumbled, clenching her fist.

“Don't swear and don’t insult managers,” Yeji admonished her. “Besides, there's a pandemic—”

“I don't care,” Ryujin interrupted, clenching her fist even tighter at her side. “We have several days off, and if you go straight from here to your house there shouldn't be any problems.” In a very low voice, she mumbled, “Fuck.”

Ryujin felt a hand rest on her arm and caress it. She turned her head toward the owner, meeting a calm gaze that soothed her. She relaxed her fist and softened her gaze.

“It's okay, Ryujin. That you're here makes up for those lonely days,” Yeji reassured in a soothing tone.

Ryujin looked at the pots again, feeling her cheeks heat up. She put her hand on top of the one Yeji had on her arm. It was soft as satin. Touching her was always so… pleasant.

“I'll come more often,” Ryujin promised, fixing her eyes on Yeji's slitted ones again.

Small, captivating dimples appeared on Yeji's cheeks as she smiled a joyful smile. Ryujin felt like poking them with her finger.

“Great.”

Ryujin swallowed saliva, which was a little hard for her as her mouth was dry. She gave Yeji's hand a squeeze before withdrawing her own. She racked her brain to say something else, but the beeping of the rice cooker saved her.

“I'll go,” Yeji said, removing her hand from Ryujin's arm, who immediately missed the touch.

She tied up the scraps of her courage. She had come to the bedroom full of it, but Yeji's smiles and glances had sapped it from her like waves eroding a rock, leaving her with only pebbles.

Would Yeji feel similar nerves to hers when they spoke to each other? Ryujin didn't know what names to call such nerves. It was very strange, but not unpleasant.

With the food ready, Ryujin was in charge of setting the table and Yeji was in charge of serving the dishes. They sat side by side and recited the prayers pertinent to the celebration. When they finished, Yeji put a hand to her nose and sniffed it.

“It smells like black pepper,” she complained, her nose wrinkling.

“It's a good smell,” Ryujin said. She took Yeji's hand, who didn't object, and sniffed, purposely exaggerating the sounds. “Yeah, they smell good.”

Yeji laughed and pulled her hand away.

“Good grief, Ryujin,” she said with a chuckle, picking up her chopsticks.

“I'm serious!” Ryujin insisted, mimicking her. “It's a nice smell.”

“I really wanted to kiss her hand,” Ryujin thought, disappointed. “Although it would have been weird.”

She wanted to, anyway.

~~~

Ryujin shivered as she stepped out of the bathroom in her room. It was freezing cold. Grumbling something about the Korean winter, she pulled on a pair of thick pink socks, and put on a comfortable, loose-fitting coat. She also put on a black woolen cap, which had been a gift from Yeji. Perhaps that was why it was one of her favorites.

Seeing that the blonde was not in the living room, she went into her room. She didn't knock; that kind of formality had been lost a long time ago. Inside the room, Yeji was combing her hair in front of the mirror, with a concentrated gesture. She stopped to give Ryujin a small but warm smile, which Ryujin reflexively returned. Ryujin closed the door behind her and leaned against it. Yeji's straight hair glistened in the yellowish light.

Ryujin opened her mouth with the intention of asking Yeji what she would like to do, but as she was thinking about her hair, she ended up saying, “Can I comb it for you?”

Yeji looked at her, somewhat surprised, and then looked at the comb. Ryujin was also surprised at herself, but she quickly regained her composure; dozens of times before she had helped one of the girls comb their hair.

“Will be more effective,” Yeji agreed, approaching Ryujin and holding out the brush. “It's hard to do it looking in a small mirror.”

Ryujin, with short hair, didn't find it difficult, but she supposed it was different with long hair. She sat down on the bottom bunk bed—which was the one Chaeryeong was using—and patted the spot next to her. Yeji sat up and turned her back to her, revealing her cascading blond hair.

Ryujin began brushing it, in comfortable silence. She pursed her lips slightly in concentration. Yeji's hair was soft between her fingers. And beautiful, just like its owner. Ryujin blinked: that last thought was intrusive.

“Did the food turn out well?” she asked in a casual tone, but biting her nails inside.

“Delicious,” Yeji replied calmly. “You asked me that before, though.”

“I just wanted to confirm,” Ryujin replied, camouflaging the relief in her voice with calm. To avoid Yeji's teasing, she changed the subject. “Shall we watch movies to pass the time?”

Yeji hummed thoughtfully. Ryujin bet Yeji’s eyes were closed.

“Sure,” the leader finally replied. “Romance?” she asked mischievously.

Ryujin's eyes bugged out. That particular day? Still, the idea was appealing, and she didn't know why. And what's with that tone?

“Works for me,” she agreed. “It's been some time since I've seen anything like that.”

The pair lapsed into silence again. Ryujin was careful not to accidentally pull a knot, running her fingers through Yeji's hair gingerly first. This dusted the apple-scented fragrance of the shampoo, which Ryujin inhaled gladly. All of Yeji exuded perfection.

“—wrong?”

Ryujin gasped, meeting Yeji's eyes giving her a quizzical look.

“What's wrong?” Yeji repeated.

“What's wrong with what?” Ryujin answered, lost.

“You've been running your fingers through my hair for several seconds, without using the comb.”

“For real?” Ryujin cursed to herself. You fool! Weirdo. “It's just that I remembered something and I space out thinking ’bout it.” She calibrated Yeji's hair to avoid looking at her face. “Anyway, it's ready now.”

She could almost feel Yeji's amused smirk, but the girl didn't say anything related to that.

“I owe you one!” was what she said, patting Ryujin's arm before getting up.

Ryujin followed her with her eyes. Yeji opened the top drawer of the nightstand, pulling out something long and square. Only when Ryujin had it in front of her did she realize what it was: boxed chocolates.

Ryujin gagged and jumped to her feet. She shot a stunned look at Yeji, who was staring at the box with furiously burning cheeks.

“I was planning to give this to you when I saw you,” the leader spluttered. “I didn't expect it to be just today! It just, you know, happened to be that chance and—”

“Thank you,” Ryujin mumbled, taking the box with calm fingers. They brushed Yeji's, sending a surge of electricity up her arm. “That's very c-cute of you.” She congratulated herself for not mumbling so much. So much was the key word.

Yeji took the comb—which Ryujin forgot he was still carrying in her hand—and walked over to the dresser, turning her back to Ryujin, all too quickly.

“Fine. I'll take my sheet for the living room,” was what Ryujin heard her mutter.

“I'll go turn on the TV and stuff,” Ryujin said, slipping out of the room and feeling her ears like two burning embers.

As Ryujin worked on it, she gave a thousand thoughts to the gift resting on the glass table between the television and the large sofa. “It was a coincidence, nothing more. If she had given it to you on, don’t know, the twentieth, you wouldn't be overthinking things.” Yet years and years of knowing Valentine's Day traditions gnawed at her calm. Her heart fluttered profusely at the sight of the box. Nevertheless, she felt very happy.

When she finished, Ryujin shifted her weight from one foot to the other as she fingered her hair. She shivered—the air was really cold, as the day had been cloudy, as she remembered before entering the building—so she went to get her sheet. When she returned, Yeji was already curled up on the couch, covered by her snowy, thick sheet.

Ryujin turned off the lights, leaving only the large television to illuminate the living room, and settled down on the other end of the couch. She curled up in her bluish sheet, controller in hand.

Yeji and she argued over which movie to watch, and in the end settled on The Vow. Ryujin vaguely remembered seeing it and Yeji had never seen it, so it was as good a choice as any.

Half an hour of watching and commenting on the movie later, Yeji exclaimed, “Too much cold!” she complained. “I guess the sheet isn't thick enough, but it's the only one I have…”

“You've always been cold,” Ryujin commented. A pleasant idea crossed her mind, and she caught it and proposed it aloud, “Let's put the sheets together.”

Yeji didn't object, and soon after the girls covered themselves with the double blanket. Yeji moved closer to Ryujin’s end of the couch due to the size of the blanket, and that's when Ryujin thought: fuck it.

“Here,” she said, patting the spot right next to her. “It'll be less cold if you, uhm, you sit next to me.” She didn't look away from the screen; it gave her enough courage to avoid mumbling like a schoolgirl.  

“For real?” Yeji sounded hesitant but excited.

Is it possible that—? No, sure it was her imagination.

“Yeah, come,” Ryujin confirmed, patting the couch again.

Yeji promptly took her place beside Ryujin. A few minutes later, she leaned against Ryujin's left arm. The short-haired girl tensed involuntarily, but relaxed within seconds. Yeji was taller, but managed to look smaller, there next to Ryujin.

Ryujin's heart was pumping a little faster than normal. It didn't help that Yeji laid her head against Ryujin’s shoulder. It didn't help at all. Ryujin could feel the leader's hair close to her face. In fact, if she tilted her head to that side…

Very slowly, Ryujin leaned her cheek against Yeji's head. The girl's hair was soft as a blanket, and Ryujin had to suppress the urge to rub her face against it like a cat.

To be honest, Yeji was making it difficult to pay attention to the movie. As if she knew Ryujin was struggling to put her concentration on the screen, Yeji wrapped her arm around Ryujin's, imprisoning it against her body. Oh, that was bad.

“Yeji…”

“Yes, Ryujin-ah?”

“No Ryujin-ah,” she pleaded to the universe, in her inner self. “Gee, I may be all seductive on stage, but this girl takes me apart like LEGO. And she can also put me together at will.”

“Nothing,” Ryujin said aloud. Not stuttering was an accomplishment. “Still cold?”

Yeji hummed, making Ryujin's body vibrate slightly. She could fall asleep like that, with that buzzing and warmth the leader gave off. Her leader. Hers.

“But, girl!” she scolded herself, scandalized. “Stop thinking such strange things!”

“No, I'm fine now,” Yeji replied as she stopped buzzing like a bee. “And you? I can hug you tighter, if you're still not warm enough,” she proposed, as if offering Ryujin a piece of bread.

Oh my.

“I'm ok, don't worry,” Ryujin said quietly. Unexpectedly and despite her self-consciousness, she rubbed her cheek against Yeji's hair. “Your hair is so soft,” she purred.

She purred.

What the hell was wrong with her?! There was no way to fix it. She coughed a little and cooed surreptitiously, her ears feeling like torches. A little more and she could light up the room with them.

“I'm glad you like it,” Yeji commented with, Ryujin would be struck by lightning if she was wrong, a hint of shyness.

Ryujin made a surprised expression. Wasn't Yeji going to tease her? Or something like that? A “What do you say, Ryujin? I knew you were weird, but not that weird” kind of line? It seemed Ryujin wasn't the only one with an erratic attitude that day.

Minutes passed, and the dizzying nerves subsided just a little. Ryujin didn't know what they wanted—she didn't know how to calm them down. “What do you want from me? she wondered to herself. “Push Yeji away? Bring her closer?”

“That you embrace her,” they answered, pressing.

Gritting her teeth to keep them from shaking, she put her arm around Yeji's shoulders, resting her hand on the older girl's arm. Yeji didn't say a peep.

Ryujin didn't understand the reason for her own attitude. How many times had she and Yeji cuddled, without any sign of awkwardness? More than she could count, but lately Ryujin was getting very nervous when it happened. They weren't bad nerves—she didn't think—but they were certainly abnormal.

The minutes passed in silence again, and Ryujin listened both to the voices coming from the television and to her own heart, which was beating louder than it needed to. Damn nerves: they hadn't gone away.

“I had a craving for snack,” Yeji suddenly commented, sounding like a little girl.

Ryujin let out a giggle.

“When don't you, Yeji-ah? You live on snacks.”

Yeji threw a weak punch at her trapped arm.

“Exaggerated,” she snarled.

Laughing to herself, Ryujin rested her gaze on the box of chocolates on top of the glass coffee table. Muttering an apology, she leaned toward it.

“Let's try this,” she said, uncovering the box. There were chocolates of different sizes and flavors. “Which one do you want?”

“It's yours, Ryujin.”

“But I want to give you. Which one do you want?”

Yeji smiled as if to say What can I do?

“If there's white chocolate, that is,” she said, straightening up beside Ryujin.

It took Ryujin a while to locate one of the aforementioned—mostly because of the lack of light, but also because having Yeji so close caused interference between Ryujin’s neurons—but, as soon as she saw them, she took three and gave them to Yeji. Their fingers brushed; an action Ryujin would have overlooked before. But not now, she ruminated on the small contact.

“Thank you, Ryujin-ah,” Yeji said cheerfully.

“You're welcome, Yeji-ah,” Ryujin muttered, taking dark chocolates for herself.

As soon as she leaned back against the couch again, Yeji returned to her old position, wrapping her arms around Ryujin's arm and resting her head on Ryujin’s shoulder. It was incredibly nice to have her so close…

“They're delicious,” Ryujin commented after a while, when she had eaten two chocolates.

“Yes? These too. You should try them.” Yeji's voice, calm and cheerful, was pleasant to hear.

“Guess I'll look for some in the box,” Ryujin said.

She made to bow again, but Yeji stopped her by putting her arm around her front.

“Don't move so much,” she chided.

“I've been standing still like a statue all this time,” Ryujin complained.

“Hey... it's true,” Yeji agreed, surprised. “You're kind of tense. Why?”

Because of you. It's not as if she had never been sharing the couch with Yeji, or as if they had never cuddled together, but for a while now Ryujin had been aware of every little brush between the two of them when it happened, every tiny touch between their skins.

“Well, I exaggerated a bit,” Ryujin muttered, scratching her head. She was mumbling a lot today. “It's—” It's nice to have you around, she was about to confess, but interrupted herself when she looked at the box of chocolates.

“Those chocolates hold up for weeks,” Ryujin reflected in her mind.

“Yeji.” She said the name slowly.

“What?”

“You could have kept the chocolates and given them to me another day than today.” The pronunciation of the last word made it clear what Ryujin meant.

Yeji didn't answer right away, and Ryujin didn't prompt her. Perhaps she was overthinking the blonde's action. Willing to forget about it so as not to make the situation awkward, she concentrated on the movie. In half an hour or so it would be over.

“You could have come tomorrow, Ryujin,” Yeji sighed, “or the day after. You know that for one more day alone I wasn't going to die. But you chose today.”

Touché.

“It's friendship day,” Ryujin replied calmly, though inside she was storming.

“And that's why you came?” Yeji's tone implied that earlier she would believe that dragons existed and flew free in Seoul.

“No, I came because they pulled a gun on me and threatened to blow my brains out if I didn't,” Ryujin sputtered, rolling her eyes.

To her surprise, Yeji let out a chuckle, peeling her head off Ryujin’s shoulder.

“I'm not going to get the truth out of you explicitly, am I? No, of course not. Your name is not Ryujin for nothing.” Ryujin heard a rustling sound, like paper, so she turned to see what it was. Yeji was holding a white bonbon in her hand. “Here, taste it.”

Ryujin opened her mouth, ready to ask her what the hell she meant by her name not being Ryujin for nothing but instead she gave Yeji a distrustful look, first at her smile, then at the chocolate. Shrugging, Ryujin made a move to take it, but Yeji pushed it away, smiling wider.

“Let me give it to you.”

Well, Ryujin wasn't expecting that. Bleary-eyed, she waited for Yeji to say that it was a joke, but Yeji didn't. She just kept looking at her with a mysterious smile.

“O-okay,” Ryujin stammered at last.

Yeji brought the candy to her lips. Ryujin sunk her teeth into it and buzzed to tell Yeji she could let go, which Yeji did. But not before touching her upper lip fleetingly, hitching Ryujin's breath.

Ryujin savored the chocolate, grateful that it made her salivate. Her mouth felt dry as a desert.

“Very tasty,” was her verdict. She took the one still left in her fist and unwrapped it. “These are good, too.”

“I'll have to try it.”

Ryujin understood perfectly what Yeji wanted her to do. Smiling slightly, Ryujin brought the chocolate to her mouth. She didn't touch her lip; instead, she touched Yeji’s nose, right where her mole lay. Yeji let out a giggle and Ryujin smiled wider. She felt light, like she was floating.

She was about to turn to look at what was left of the movie, but Yeji put a hand on her shoulder. Ryujin looked into her eyes, finding them self-conscious but firm.

“I'll tell you the truth,” she said quietly, “if you do the same.”

Jesus.

Ryujin nodded, fiddling with the sheet.

“You go first,” she asked Yeji, her voice slightly shaky.

“Mine's pretty obvious, I think,” Yeji said after a few seconds of just looking into each other's eyes.

“I knew it!” Ryujin celebrated quietly.

Yeji punched her in the arm, softly.

“Idiot.”

“Sorry. Could you s-say it, anyway? I don't want to make a mistake.”

“Oh, Ryujin-ah,” Yeji sighed, looking away. Despite the dim lighting, Ryujin noticed Yeji's cheeks redden a couple of shades. She felt like touching them. Yeji looked at her again before saying, “Yes, I did it with that intention in mind.”

Ryujin let the revelation float around them, mostly because she was too stunned to respond. Did she really—Yeji?

“Now you,” Yeji continued. “Why did you come here just today, Ryujin?”

The answer was just as revealing to Ryujin as it was to Yeji.

“I wanted to spend the Day of Love with you, Yeji,” Ryujin replied, looking into her leader's eyes.

Yeji looked away, smiling a relieved smile.

“I knew it,” she repeated Ryujin's earlier words, eliciting a shake of the head from the aforementioned.

“Then…”

Yeji turned her body towards Ryujin, fiddling with the sheet.

“Ryujin, could you give me another chocolate?”

Ryujin inhaled deeply, not responding. Her next movements were methodical. Until that moment, she hadn't realized how she really felt towards her friend.

Ryujin looked away and focused her gaze on the box of chocolates. Yeji was to her a great, great friend. She trusted her with every ounce of her being, for that was the least Yeji deserved. The leader was just that, a leader. Ryujin could always tell Yeji her problems, being sure that Yeji would help her. Did she doubt her own dancing skills? Yeji would give her advice and train with her, stern but fair. Ryujin wasn't convinced by her singing? Yeji would teach her exercises to polish it. You could always lean on Yeji.

She leaned into the box. Beyond that, Yeji had a golden personality. Smart, hardworking, shrewd, unwavering, eloquent, she always had the right word to lift your spirits. Ryujin and she had hit it off quickly soon after meeting—like a sword and its sheath.

She picked up a white chocolate bonbon, its wrapper whispering softly as it crinkled. Ryujin couldn't tell at what point she started thinking about Yeji the way she did now. She had told herself that it was normal to feel so… fascinated by Yeji. At the end of the day, Yeji is fascinating. Impossible to miss. Spending hours thinking about her, like Ryujin did, was normal. Well, now she saw that it wasn't. At what point did her feelings change? At what point did they transmute from silver to gold? Ryujin found that difficult to answer. What she was sure of was that, from a certain point on, every hug she shared with Yeji was cause for celebration, and that every smile the blonde gave her was worthy of framing.

She leaned back again, the sheet tangled in her lap. If pressed, Ryujin would say their friendship was platonic. Physically, Yeji had dazzled her within the first few months of meeting. Later that was not enough, so she looked at who Yeji was. Then it was Yeji’s soul that dazzled her. A beautiful woman, with the purest, most precious soul in the world.

She unwrapped the bonbon, whose wrapper crackled. How absent-minded she had been. Of course, it wasn't normal for her mouth to go dry at the sight of Yeji smiling and showing those little dimples in her cheeks. Of course, it wasn't normal to see those slit eyes and want to idolize them. Of course, it wasn't normal to feel rabid—to the point of audibly grinding her teeth—at the thought of Yeji here, alone, unable to visit her family. Ryujin was capable of lowering the Moon just to see Yeji happy.

She broke the chocolate in two, giving half to Yeji. Wow, her hands were shaking with excitement and anticipation. She didn't feel this for anyone else. No one else did she profess such “affection” for as she did for Yeji. What a blind girl I've been.

She turned her body towards Yeji, who was looking at her expectantly. She looked so adorable, with her homely clothes and her blonde hair loose, cascading down her shoulders.

She looked into her eyes. Oh, looking into those wonderful eyes, it dawned on Shin Ryujin that she was so fucking in love with Hwang Yeji. Who can tell?

Ryujin gave her half of the bonbon to Yeji, who at the same time gave her to the short-haired girl. Yeji brushed her lips silently again, and Ryujin touched her nose again, only there was no laughter this time. The atmosphere was tense. But it was okay—said tension would be broken when they finished chewing the white chocolate.

Yeji slid closer to her—as if she had even been far away—leaving their faces an inch apart. Yeji’s eyes, which could be frightening at times, had a gentle gleam in them instead.

“You had a good eye for chocolates,” Ryujin commented, not taking her eyes off Yeji.

“Thinking of you compelled me to be a perfectionist,” Yeji replied, so close to her face.

Ryujin wasn't even listening to the television at this point. She couldn't see past the wonderful human being sitting next to her. Her heart was beating fast, but her nerves no longer bothered her—she welcomed them.

Ryujin swallowed. She was grateful that the chocolate made her salivate; she needed it. She looked at Yeji's heart-shaped lips, and licked her own. She looked Yeji in the eyes again and closed the distance between them. She rested her forehead on Yeji's, who rested a hand on top of hers.

“Just to be clear,” Ryujin said, breathing heavily, “the answer is 'yes'.”

Yeji let out a relieved sigh. She was just as nervous as Ryujin, it seemed.

“Perfect, Ryujin.”

One of Ryujin's hands grabbed Yeji's jaw and the other got lost in her hair. Yeji put her hand on Ryujin’s neck, slowly caressing it, sending pleasant shivers down Ryujin's spine. Their breaths mingled, danced together.

Ryujin wanted to touch Yeji's soul but, as it was impossible, she touched her lips. Her mind short-circuited, exploded, unmade and made again, all in the same instant. Yeji's lips were perfect; they matched her. Maybe they were made to fit like that? Ryujin had no doubt.

Yeji's mouth tasted like dark and white chocolate. Ryujin made sure to taste it very, very well, cocking her head to the side. Yeji kept leaving warm trails on the skin of her neck with her fingers, and Ryujin did the same to her leader's jaw. The breaths became a little more labored, but they didn't pull away. Not yet.

Ryujin opened her eyes for a second. Yeji was so close that she could detail the shape of the mole on her nose perfectly. She closed her eyes again as the kiss was still in progress.

Ryujin moaned quietly as Yeji ran her tongue across her lips. The taste of chocolate was intoxicating, but Yeji's own taste was addictive. Yeji was keeping up with her—or she with Yeji, it was impossible to determine—lifting her to another plane where only the two of them existed.

It might as well have been ten seconds or ten hours; Ryujin's perception of time was not at its best.

They parted with a wet snap, breathing rapidly through their noses. They kissed again. And again. And again. And again. The movie ended and left everything in darkness, but neither needed sight. Only touch. Feeling Yeji's skin under her fingers and her tongue tangled with Yeji's was enough.

Hands traveled a lot, too. A while on the hair, another on the neck, then on the arms, then on the cheeks, back to the hair, whether it was blonde or light brown. In any of those places, they were welcome. In any of these places, they were needed.

Sometimes Yeji would lean toward Ryujin, who would recoil. Then Ryujin would lean against Yeji, spurred on by spilling whatever was exploding in her chest. Were they consciously taking turns? Hard to say for, outside of the thought called kissing, it was all nebulous.

Liquid fire coursed through Ryujin's veins, dynamites exploded in the chambers of her heart. “Euphoric” was the word that described how Ryujin felt.

The nebula was clearing, clearing, little by little. With lungs burning from lack of air and lips swollen, both girls parted for good.

The main menu of the television potently illuminated the couch, allowing Ryujin to admire the work of art that was Yeji. The curious thing was that somehow Ryujin had ended up on top of Yeji, who lay on the couch. The sheet was tangled between their bodies. Ryujin had no fucking idea how they ended up like that.

That question was relegated to oblivion, for Yeji—Oh, Yeji. Her cheeks were flushed, her cat-like eyes oozing with intense emotion, and her hair was sprawled across the couch. Lips, half-open and red, let the air escape, crashing directly into Ryujin's face. Finally, her hair was sticking to her face in several places. It had all been more intense than Ryujin had supposed.

“Wow,” Yeji gasped.

“Wow,” Ryujin repeated, unable to come up with anything witty.

She lovingly brushed the hair off Yeji's forehead.

“One last question,” Ryujin said after a comfortable, recuperative silence. “What would have happened if I hadn't thought of coming today?”

Yeji gave a knowing smile. “I knew you would come today.”

Ryujin arched her eyebrows.

“Oh yeah? You think highly of yourself.”

“No, I just knew you'd come,” Yeji replied, tracing Ryujin's jawline with her index finger. “In the unlikely event that I was wrong, there were other ways to get your attention.”

“You've always had my attention,” Ryujin defended herself.

Yeji raised an incredulous eyebrow.

“Thank goodness, otherwise you never would have kissed me.”

Ryujin had the decency to blush.

“I've been blinder than a mole,” she lamented. “Yeji, there were—”

“There were other things to keep an eye on,” Yeji interrupted her, but her tone was not reproachful, simply stating a fact. “I know, Ryujin.”

“Well, yes, that,” Ryujin said, reaching for Yeji's hand. She intertwined her hand with Yeji's and placed a kiss on the back of it, looking intently into her eyes. “I love you, Yeji.”

Yeji laughed shyly, singsongy. Her eyes turned into crescent moons, and her cheeks appeared beautiful dimples. Ryujin didn't hold back and kissed them, earning giggles from Yeji. Ryujin's own dimples popped into view, and Yeji poked them with her finger.

“I love you too, Ryujin,” Yeji told her, stroking her cheeks.

Ryujin left a kiss on Yeji’s forehead before pulling away, licking her lips. They were swollen and tender, and it seemed right that they should be.

“Let's watch another movie,” Yeji proposed, straightening up next to her. “I want to cuddle with you.”

“We agree on that,” Ryujin replied, taking control and curling up on the couch.

Yeji was quick to comply. Ryujin slipped her arm around her shoulders and pulled Yeji against her, as Yeji hugged her sideways, resting her head on Ryujin’s shoulder. She inwardly celebrated the fact that no one would bother them that day or the next.

“Yuna will go crazy when she finds out,” Yeji said in a long-suffering tone.

“Imagine Jisu and Chaeryeong,” Ryujin laughed. “The first one is going to fuck from here to infinity, and the second one will never leave me alone.”

“I'll have to impose order on them,” Yeji said firmly, taking Ryujin's hand and playing with her fingers.

“That won't do,” Ryujin pointed out. Nothing, not even Leader Hwang's gaze, would stop the girls from teasing them from here to Peru.

“Bah,” Yeji dismissed with a wave of her hand. “We'll see what we'll do.”

While looking for some interesting movie, Ryujin commented, “What color will you dye your hair now?”

“Red,” Yeji answered after a thoughtful hum.

“God,” Ryujin blurted out as she imagined Yeji with such a color. “You're going to look even more beautiful.”

“Stop it!” Yeji sounded self-conscious, and Ryujin could imagine the color of her cheeks. “What color will yours be?”

“Blonde, I think,” Ryujin replied as she stopped chuckling.

“Please do,” Yeji asked. “It'll look amazing on you,” the leader purred.

Ryujin cleared her throat at the purr, eliciting a grin from Yeji.

At the beginning of the film's introduction, Ryujin leaned her head against Yeji's and closed her eyes. She rubbed against her hair, earning a chuckle from Yeji. Ryujin was never going to let go of her again for anything in the world.

Chapter Text

Yeji was executing all the steps perfectly... until her gaze met Ryujin's, through the mirror.

Yeji, who was about to plant her foot on the chair where seconds before she had been sitting, got distracted and her foot went astray, so she ended up stomping on the floor and almost falling flat on her face. For a couple of heartbeats she gave frantic jerks, eyes wide. She recovered, blinking like an owl blinded by lanterns.

“God!” she heard Ryujin say in the middle of it. “What the hell did I just witness?” she added as Yeji straightened up, approaching her. She sounded worried.

Yeji muttered an “I'm fine” to reassure her. Moments later, she pointed an accusing finger at Ryujin.

“It's your fault!” she exclaimed.

Ryujin's expression went from surprise to questioning to utter confusion in just a second. Yeji couldn't help but laugh at the look on her final face.

“What do you mean mine!?” Ryujin asked, putting hands on hips. “I was over there, calmly, watching you!”

“That's why,” Yeji said, crossing her arms. “Your look made me nervous…”

“But that's the way I always look at you.” Ryujin's confusion was almost palpable.

How to explain to her that since they were, well, together there was a warmth and admiration in her gaze that made Yeji feel like the center of the world, no, of the universe and that the leader didn't know how to handle that feeling? It was embarrassing to put it that way. “But if your first kiss was practically a make-out,” her jocular inner voice pointed out to Yeji, who felt her ears heat up slightly at such a remark.

She shook her head and looked at Ryujin.

“You know it's not that," Yeji told her, now calmer.

Ryujin held her gaze and tilted her head to the side, looking thoughtful. Her eyebrows rose and her cheeks took on a slight reddish hue.

“Oh,” she said quietly. “Well, the only way I'm not going to look at you like that is if I poke my eyes out or close them.” She sounded dead serious.

Yeji still marveled that Ryujin could read what was going on in her mind so easily. Yes, they had been seeing each other's faces so often for years—more often than Yeji saw her mother—but still. No one else picked up on what Yeji was feeling and not saying the way Ryujin was.

One of the many peculiarities that had called Yeji's heart to her, like the gaze falling on that colorful spot on a blank canvas.

“That you would put it in the same magnitude to poke your eyes out or close them is disturbing,” Yeji joked with a smile, knowing Ryujin's sense of humor. “I guess I'll avoid looking at you—”

Ryujin interrupted her with a pout.

“While I practice, while I practice,” Yeji soothed her, her smile growing wider. “Because I love looking at you.”

“Uhm…” Ryujin's blush deepened and she fiddled with her short blond hair.

Yeji let out a chuckle and lifted her hands to gently squeeze Ryujin’s cheeks, warm to the touch.

“Keep looking at me,” Yeji told her. “I won't be distracted anymore, you'll see.” She left a kiss on Ryujin's forehead, something she loved to do.

“Good,” Ryujin murmured when Yeji looked into her eyes again, “because I love to look at you.” The same gaze that made Yeji feel like the Sun, around which orbited the planet that was Ryujin.

It was Yeji's turn to babble incoherently. Ryujin gave her a comforting smile as she squeezed her hands. She returned to her spot, on one of the benches in the practice room, as Yeji rewound the River song.

Said and done, she made no mistake anymore.

~~~

It was hard to avoid the melancholy when she came out of work. Whether it was from the practice room, the recording room, or returning to the building after she finished an episode of Gap of Itzy or something else, Yeji felt the melancholy hovering over her when she got to the dorm. She missed her parents, hearing them welcome her with warm and genuine smiles, and how could she forget the sound of Hongsam and Insam's nails against the marble floor as they ran up to her to lick her legs! Yeji always longed for that moment, as she knew that setting foot in her home meant feeling a rush of energy, of joy.

In ITZY's bedroom, on the other hand, it was quiet, especially when the five of them arrived there. Generally exhausted, each girl looked for ways to relax. While two occupied the two available bathrooms, the remaining three would fall into the living room armchairs or the shared rooms (except for Ryujin, who had her own) and close their eyes. No one spoke; no one had the energy.

It was what almost happened that day. It had been the full package; vocal practice (hours) and dance sessions (even more hours). Jisu, Yuna and Chaeryeong quietly discussed who would use the bathroom down the room’s hallway. Ryujin and Yeji stayed out of it, the former because she had a bathroom in her room, and the latter because she didn't care if she took a bath a couple of minutes before or after.

Also, while the three girls were talking, shoulder to shoulder, Yeji and Ryujin stayed a couple of steps behind, at which point Yeji would reach for Ryujin's hand to hold it. Ryujin traced circles with her thumb on the back of Yeji's hand, a gesture that left a warm trail that Yeji would think about long after their hands unfortunately parted.

Seeing the dark and cold bedroom made Yeji melancholy. She really wanted to go see her family—

“Well!” Ryujin said cheerfully, turning on the lights. “Does anyone feel like cooking today? Cuz I don't," she continued, shaking out the sofa cushions and rearranging them. “How about two of you go down to the supermarket and get some of those frozen pizzas while the rest of us make, I don't know, tea or something else for this f—for this cold?” She swallowed the bad word rather well, something that made Yeji smile.

Yeji started to protest—they were all tired, and Yeji just wanted to see them get comfortable and enjoy the evening—but the others spoke up, louder than the leader, at the same time.

“I'm in the mood for pizza!” Yuna said, and a twinkle appeared in her big, tired eyes.

“I'll make some chamomile tea,” Jisu reported, heading for the kitchen.

“We left the table a mess, so I'll clean it up,” Chaeryeong said, scowling at the table, which Yeji couldn't see from her position in the short hallway leading to the main room. “Yuna, go wash up.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

Yeji just watched them go about their business. They were doing it for her. They knew Yeji wasn't feeling cheerful that particular day, so they had taken the wire Ryujin had thrown them to lighten Yeji’s mood.

“I'll go down for the pizzas,” Ryujin said, picking up her jacket again, “since I suggested it.”

“Ryujin,” Yeji said as Ryujin passed by her side, “it's okay—”

“They all agreed,” Ryujin interrupted her, putting her hand on her shoulder.

Yeji cursed her inability to hide the melancholy. She cursed it a thousand times. “Though if I were able to hide it like the best actress, Ryujin would see through the veil,” she thought, looking into Ryujin's dark eyes, the rest of her face hidden behind the face mask. Yeji didn't know what to make of that fact. On one hand, Ryujin was getting cranky—not with the girls, of course—at the thought of Yeji not being able to go visit her family, and she was indignant, something that didn't happen to Yeji, and it was her that the thing was happening to! On the other hand, Yeji found it touching that Ryujin saw right through her. It reminded her that there was at least one person ready to come to her aid, even if Yeji herself didn't feel it was needed.

Her heart imprinted warmth with each pump, warming Yeji's body. She knew well that almost liquid feeling that coursed through her veins when Ryujin did or said something: love.

“I'll go with you,” Yeji told her firmly, turning back toward the main door.

“What? No,” came Ryujin's voice from behind. She quickly moved to Yeji's side. “You just relax and—”

“I want to go with you, Ryu,” Yeji interrupted her gently, stepping out into the hallway. “Besides, I'll buy some of my favorite snacks.”

“You're so stubborn,” Ryujin muttered, closing the door.

Yeji grabbed her hand.

“No more than you for proposing this venture in the first place. C’mon, let's go.”

Ryujin let out a snort and nodded. Yeji knew that Ryujin wanted her company alone as much as she did.

~~~

“I feel better,” Yeji said as they walked out of the supermarket, carrying bags with pizzas and other things inside. “Seriously.”

The walk alone with Ryujin had lifted her spirit. They had chatted about light things, and Ryujin's way of talking had gotten a chuckle out of Yeji. She loved it when Ryujin blurted out a bad word without realizing it, or how she apologized when she did.

“Wait till you try the pizzas, then,” Ryujin said enthusiastically. “They're the only pizzas of this kind that don't taste like ass, to my knowledge.”

“Ryujin…”

“There's no better way to put it, Yeji.”

“Hum.”

Back at JYP, they took the elevator to the dorm floor. As soon as the elevator door closed, Yeji spoke.

“Thank you, love.” She put her bags in one hand and scratched her head with the other. “I appreciate everything you do.”

“I feel I must,” Ryujin replied.

Doubts came over Yeji. Was she just as attentive to Ryujin? She wouldn't be having a bad time for whatever reason in secret, would she? Oh! What if she was and Yeji hadn't noticed? How terrible it was—

“Your smile is all the reward I need.”

Yeji stopped thinking frenetically and slowly turned to look at the girl. Ryujin stared straight ahead. She always avoided one's gaze when she said something deep or sentimental. It was because it made her feel awkward, something Yeji deduced long ago.

She had to fight to keep from shedding tears. Gee, she really was a bundle of boiling feelings when it came to Ryujin. Did she really deserve her? This kind girl, who was caring to unsuspected levels but whose personality hid under a layer of subtleties, of small gestures?

“I don't know if I'm doing well with you,” Yeji confessed, feeling the need to say it.

“Mmm?” Ryujin turned to face her. “You convey calmness, security. I know everything is okay if you're around. I sleep peacefully knowing that my leader has an iron will.” Ryujin averted her eyes for a moment before finishing. “You make me happy. You're doin’ perfect.”

Yeji swallowed the lump in her throat and reached over to hold Ryujin tightly in her arms. She remembered then how it all worked—Ryujin watched over her, on the lookout for some slip in Yeji's mood and feelings and, when it occurred, she would jump in to keep Yeji on her feet. And Yeji, at full capacity, would pass on to Ryujin the strength needed to move forward.

It was a symbiotic relationship that had been born that day Ryujin hugged her from behind, when they first met. But it didn't hurt for Yeji to be reminded of it from time to time.

“I love you, Ryujin.” Yeji vocalized muffled words under the face mask, feeling that the knot was too strong to produce sounds. “Agh, I l-love you.”

Ryujin returned the hug with the same intensity and traced circles on her back. She inhaled, and Yeji noticed that shakily.

“I love you, honey,” Ryujin replied. “Stop crying; you know I can't…” her voice trailed off. I can't help crying too, Yeji was sure that was what she was going to say.

Yeji laughed hoarsely and broke away. She wiped away the few tears that had escaped—she was too sentimental that day, dammit!

The elevator door opened, dropping them off on the appropriate floor. The girls straightened up and stepped out into the white hallway.

“I'm hungry,” Ryujin said, sniffling.

Yeji mimicked the action before replying.

“Wasn't this all just a ploy you pulled just because you wanted to eat pizza?” Yeji joked.

Ryujin snorted derisively.

“My name is not Yuna.”

Yeji laughed, satisfied as she remembered something else: she could make jokes like that and Ryujin wouldn't be offended, since Ryujin fully knew that Yeji appreciated her actions with all her heart.

~~~

Yeji wished she could swing her legs on the stool, but the stool wasn't tall enough for her legs to dangle (or she was too tall; Ryujin could swing her legs perfectly, and she looked endearing!). She had bathed and changed into pajamas. It was amazing how invigorating a shower could be. You felt like an invisible cloak was coming off the spirit. She had stockings and slippers on, but even so her feet were freezing cold.

She took a sip of chamomile tea, watching Ryujin and Jisu prepare the food. Which meant that Ryujin put the pizza in the microwave, waited for it to be ready, took it out and passed it to Jisu, who cut it into pieces and put them on a plate that already had a sizable mountain of pizza on it.

Yeji just watched, as they all wanted her to do. She liked to watch Ryujin and Jisu bantering and chatting quietly. She turned to look into the living room, where Yuna and Chaeryeong were passing one movie after another. They would stop at one, read the synopsis, whisper something, and keep going. They were choosing which one the five of them would watch that night.

It would only be one, or else they risked staying up late, and the next day they had to work. Another day where she would be back in a darkened dorm room—

“No,” Yeji thought firmly, pushing the thought away. “It doesn't matter, because the five of us will get there and bring it to life. Even if we're tired, between the five of us we'll gather energy and liven up the atmosphere.”

Yeji turned again when the microwave beeped. It was the last pizza, out of the four they had bought. It smelled good; Yeji's stomach purred.

“Ready, dammit!” Ryujin shouted, grabbing a plate and carrying it into the living room.

“Ryujin!” Yeji scolded her in a louder tone than usual.

“Sorry.” She sounded genuinely sorry.

Jisu walked by with another plate full of pizza, shaking her head. In her opinion, Ryujin was a lost cause, and she didn't understand why Yeji kept trying. It wasn't hard to understand! If Ryujin let slip one of those eye—widening curses to anyone who heard it, people would label her as vulgar, rude, and who knows how many more silly adjectives.

And Yeji didn't want anyone to say anything bad to her Ryujin.

“—nie!”

Yeji blinked, noticing that all four of them were looking at her from the living room.

“I'm coming,” she said, finishing her tea. She left the empty cup on the counter and went to join her team.

Jisu and Yuna sat on a couch that was supposed to be single, while Chaeryeong took the other one. The big one, for three people, was occupied only by Ryujin.

Yeji didn't miss the detail, and she was sure Ryujin didn't either. They had both told the others about their new relationship status, which had caused Yuna to lose her head next to Jisu, while Chaeryeong just sat on the first thing she could find—the sofa armrest—and didn't say a peep for half an hour. When the three of them came out of their astonishment, they agreed on one thing: it wasn't unexpected either.

Agh, they'd been acting both lovebirds since long before that February fourteenth arrived, but Ryujin hadn't noticed. Yeji had, but she was too panicked to hint to Ryujin what she wanted.

Thank goodness she plucked up the courage.

Despite the fact that they knew, Yeji and Ryujin weren't acting any different than they had before. Or not that much; there was more rubbing here and there, more silly looks and smiles, more hugs, but in essence they looked like their old selves.

That happened because none of them were born to show their devotion in public (that is, the other three girls, because no one else knew). Yeji wasn't embarrassed or anything like that; she simply preferred the solitude to treat Ryujin the way she wanted to, with all the comfort in the world.

With the lights off, Yeji sat down next to Ryujin and covered them with the sheet. Ryujin held a plate of pizza from which they both ate. When it was finished, a long time later, Ryujin snuggled against her, which Yeji gladly accepted.

Wrapping her arms around Ryujin's body, bringing the warmth she gave off against her, was one of the things Yeji enjoyed the most. Maybe the one that delighted her the most.

Snuggled against her, Ryujin, who was only slightly smaller than Yeji, gave the impression of being more so. Like a little bird that would fit in your hand… Yeji felt Ryujin was the perfect person for her to snuggle and share warmth with. 

Calling her a girlfriend felt strange to Yeji. Yes, she was, but Yeji felt like something was missing from that adjective, like a soup missing salt, meat or noodles; it was Ryujin and Yeji, plain and simple. The two of them together, like the intertwined roots of two trees that would have grown side by side.

“That's the perfect way to describe it,” Yeji thought, pleased at the prospect.

As they chatted, ate and watched the movie—which was “coincidentally” Maze Runner, an old favorite of Yeji's—Yeji felt déjà vu. At first, she paid no attention to the sensation; this situation—finding the five of them gathered together for the night—was a frequent one, but then she frowned. That was not it. She searched for similar situations in her memories and—

She felt like she did when she was a child, at home, surrounded by her family. Her parents, her siblings, that's what this situation reminded her of.

It made perfect sense: ITZY was her family too. Did she feel down? There was Yuna, facing everything with that big smile of hers. Did she want to talk one-on-one with someone her own age, ignoring the protocols of formality? Jisu was perfect for it.

Did she feel like dancing her head off? Chaeryeong could keep up with her without breaking a sweat.

Did she need light, something to lighten her mood when the monotony and pressure were too much? The bosom of Ryujin's arms was always warm and welcoming.

Of all, it was Ryujin who offered her the same feeling of protection and comfort as her mother did when Yeji was little.

Yeji allowed herself to dream. She imagined a distant future, in a small, quiet house, where only Ryujin and she would live. Waking up every day by her side, hugging her whenever she felt like it, watching her cook (which was a must unless Yeji learned not to set the kitchen on fire).

It was just a silly fantasy—who knows what could happen in between—so she settled for this. They were on the same boat, ITZY, so their destination would be the same, whichever one it was.

Yeji would do her best to make it so.

~~~

Yeji woke up to a message from her manager. It said that ITZY's schedule for the day had been postponed for reasons she didn't mention, but which she claimed were not bad or alarming. Oh, so she could sleep more… No, she had to find out if it was really nothing to worry about.

Fighting laziness, she got out of bed. She went out just like that into the hallway, where the lights were on night mode. There was no one in the kitchen, no one in the living room either. Where—?

“Yeji-ah.”

Yeji turned around, startled. Ryujin was at the door of her room, still in her pajamas.

“Ryujin, did you read the message from our manager?”

“Yes, I called him and something came up. Something about some expired cards or so.”

“Oh.” That's strange; their manager was very careful about everything. “Okay. And the girls?”

“They went out. To visit their family. I'll stay here.”

“You don't have to—”

“Oh, hell yeah I do: you. Come,” she added, stepping back and opening her bedroom door wider. “Let's sleep together.”

Yeji fiddled with her fingers, enjoying the rumbling beat of her heart. Her laziness was still there, and it begged her to go back to bed. She had gone to bed late the night before, busy. She nodded quickly, and moved on to Ryujin's room.

Yeji was one of those people who couldn't sleep once she got out of bed, so she prepared to simply lie there for a couple of hours, enjoying the closeness of the sleeping Ryujin. However, when she wrapped her arms around Ryujin and listened to her slow breathing, she promptly fell asleep.

~~~

Hours later, Yeji was washing her face in Ryujin's bath, groaning at the sight of her eyes swollen from sleeping so much. Morning and noon had already disappeared. “God, I don't normally sleep this much,” she thought, wiping her face. Maybe Ryujin had something to do with it.

Most likely.

She came upon a dreamy scene in the kitchen. Ryujin in her navy-blue pajamas with white stripes and red hems, and blond hair pulled back in a neat bun, cooking. Her face, goddess-like, was adorned with a slight frown born of concentration. She was standing on one leg, with the sole of her other foot resting on it. The fumes from the food were being swallowed by the hood.

“What are you cooking?” Yeji asked, taking a seat on a stool on the other side of the counter.

“Kimchi-jjigae, gimbaps.” She pointed to two bowls. “I already made the bibimbaps.”

“Freakin’ quick,” Yeji muttered, craning her neck to catch sight of the bowls, on the side of the counter where Ryujin was standing.

Ryujin didn't hear her comment, so she continued cooking. Yeji took to watching her, finding it amusing. The situation gave off homely vibes, accentuated by the fact that they two were alone in the dorm.

Ryujin appeared so beautiful… Her movements, her pacing back and forth across the kitchen, the way she wrapped the gimbaps—it was all mesmerizing. Yeji felt like screaming it out. How beautiful you are! Everything you do is perfect! I love you! I love you!

But surely—very surely—she would scare Ryujin if she started screaming out of nowhere, like a maniac, all that, so she settled for getting up, going around the counter and hugging her from behind. Ryujin stopped rolling a gimbap and stroked her arms. Yeji hid her face in the hollow of Ryujin’s neck, where she murmured, “Even for cooking you are dazzling.”

She could feel Ryujin's suddenly racing heartbeat, even with her back to Yeji.

“Seriously,” Yeji continued, inhaling Ryujin's faint fragrance. “Every move you make is so graceful… It looks like you're creating art.” She left a kiss on Ryujin's neck, who gasped.

Yeji saw the hair on her arms stand on end.

“You're so over the top,” Ryujin mumbled.

Yeji left another kiss on her neck before breaking away. “I want to squeeze you until you swoon in my arms so badly,” she thought.

“It's the simple truth.”

“Ahm, w-whatever. Thanks?” Ryujin gestured toward the living room. “Go set the table, please.” There was a hint of a smile in her tone.

“Aye, aye, captain,” Yeji said before leaving the kitchen.

She knew the exact effect her words and kisses had on Ryujin. Ryujin devoured them, and radiated pure bliss afterwards. Yeji was pleased to see her being all coy smiles and blushes, so she had no reason to hold back.

~~~

The meal passed between placid silences and small talk. In the silences, Ryujin would put a hand on her thigh and caress it, eliciting hums from Yeji, who found her touch soothing.

When they finished, they decided to play cards.

“If I win,” Ryujin then said, “you'll have to carry me on your back the next time we go out to the park.”

Yeji stared at her. Was she serious? That neutral expression, as if they were debating momentous matters… Of course she was serious.

“We'll look ridiculous,” Yeji thought about saying, but that wouldn't faze Ryujin. She shrugged her shoulders.

“Well.”

“I was kidding, unnie.”

Ah, really!

“I never know with you!”

~~~

The pleasant evening led to a comfortable night, in which they both prepared dinner. They ate in advance, and saved for the next morning. Yuna, Jisu and Chaeryeong would not be coming that night.

Yeji didn't feel sad at the thought of her parents and their pets. Ryujin was a perfect counterbalance to that sadness.

As was routine, they decided to close the night with movies. Romantic ones, Ryujin suggested, which elicited a stare from Yeji. “She's rarely in the mood for that kind of thing," Yeji thought strangely, but without thinking about it. Why would she think about watching love movies with her love?

“Come,” Ryujin beckoned, holding out her arm.

Yeji cuddled against her immediately, smiling. This was different from her cuddling Ryujin, but just as welcome. Ryujin's presence was gigantic, and only provoked to surrender to her. Besides, her breathing was calm, her voice, deep and calm when she commented on something…

Yeji began to nod off. It happened to her whenever she cuddled against Ryujin; it was impossible for her presence not to cradle Yeji like a little girl—

“Don't fall asleep.”

Yeji sighed, disgusted at being torn from the clutches of the almost-sleep.

“Why?” she asked, pouting.

Ryujin's hoarse laughter reverberated against Yeji's whole body. What heavenly music, dang it.

“There's dessert.”

“Oh, yeah?!” Yeji jumped up straight. “What is it?”

Ryujin pushed the sheets aside and stood up.

“You'll see.” And she disappeared down the hallway to the rooms.

Yeji took the opportunity to get a drink of water. Back on the couch, she shivered after covering herself with the sheets. How cold it was, she needed Ryujin back by her side already.

Whatever the dessert was, it had to be something tasty, because Ryujin came hiding it behind her. Was it a snack? Or—

Ryujin held out a box of heart-shaped chocolates. It said I love you in gold letters on the cover.

“Oh?” Yeji stammered, taking it. She reflexively stood up. “It's very pretty and—”

“You don't know what day it is today?” A smile flirted with Ryujin's lips.

“Is it special?”

“It's March fourteenth. The white day.”

Dang it! A hand on her chin made Yeji raise her head, meeting Ryujin's eyes, brimming with love.

“It's clear what this means,” Ryujin continued, “but I want to tell you anyway: I want to be with you. A year, a decade, a century, a cosmic year—it all seems too little to me! With how fast time goes by when you're with me, I'm sure a cosmic year goes by in a heartbeat. You are what I didn't know I wanted and needed; you transmit so much to me, you help me so much… This is my confirmation: I love you, Yeji. My precious and strong leader, my heart is yours.

“O-oh, Ryujin,” Yeji whimpered, her voice trembling. “I will be, I will be with you as long as you want, even if it includes ten cosmic years.” She put down the box of chocolates on the couch, overcome by a force that urged her to hug her Ryujin. “I love you, Ryujin, sweetie, I fucking love you, dammit!”

“You cursing is all it takes for me to believe you, baby,” Ryujin laughed into the hollow of her neck.

Yeji lifted her into the air, eliciting a surprised yelp from Ryujin. The girl wrapped her arms around her neck and her legs around her hips. Yeji, hands full, was about to ask Ryujin to kiss her, but Ryujin beat her to it by curving down and connecting their lips.

There was that euphoria, that wild fire starting in the chambers of her heart and spreading to the capillaries of Yeji's toes. If only she could subsist on Ryujin's heavenly kisses. That way she could visit paradise often, drown in the sensation of Ryujin's soft lips on hers.

Yeji released her with as much dignity as she could when her legs threatened to fail her. Not because they couldn't handle Ryujin’s weight, but because they couldn't handle the various emotions that swirled in Yeji's brain when she kissed Ryujin.

Ryujin rested her head against her, and Yeji stretched her neck so that hers rested on top of the other. Even the feel of Ryujin's soft, cinnamon-scented hair was ecstasy.

There was so much going on inside her as far as Ryujin was concerned, she didn't see the point in describing it. Let people come and put themselves in her shoes if they wanted to know.

The best way Yeji could find to define it was that she was fucking in love.

“They have orange,” Ryujin reported when Yeji opened the box, once they were back on the couch.

“Then they're your favorite.”

“I have good taste, so…”

Yeji rolled her eyes. Sometimes she can be arrogant…

“You chose me, so yeah.”

...But I can be too.

Ryujin snorted derisively and shook her head.

Yeji picked up a chocolate, which a second later was in Ryujin's hand. She unwrapped it with nimble fingers and smiled, an action Yeji mimicked. She let Ryujin give her the candy, and hummed happily as the taste flooded her palate.

Yeah, Ryujin had good taste.

It was Yeji’s turn, and she made sure to run her fingers across Ryujin's lip, aware that it would disturb her calm. It did, and Ryujin's answering look was accusing.

“I haven't paid attention to the movie for a while,” Yeji confessed when the pause was removed.

“Very unexpected. Well,” Ryujin pulled Yeji to herself, “sleep if you want to. I won't interrupt you this time.”

“Something tells me,” Yeji murmured, “that you had something to do with this being a day off.”

“Maybe. Our manager needed to fix a problem, and I begged him to choose this day. She agreed, and then all it took was persuading the girls to go home.”

“Hmm… I don't know if it's right to postpone the schedule like this…”

“Agh, it's not the end of the world. Go on, shut up and watch the movie or go to sleep, which is what you're about to do.”

Yeji wanted to tell her that it didn't work like that and that she wasn't going to fall asleep already, but the mood played against her and she quickly drifted away from wakefulness, with Ryujin tracing circles on her back.

Well, Ryujin had her in the palm of her hand, and Yeji was glad she did.