Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Technoblade, the feared Blood God, a piglin brute, was riding away from his own execution on his prized horse, Carl, with the small elf king in front of him on the saddle. They both could hear the screaming of people behind them, but the piglin was more focused on trying to keep the flailing king steady and steering Carl away from the bloodshed. He was surprised that no other elves were trying to get their king back, but he was glad that they weren't. He led Carl to the castle with his prisoner.

"Let me go, you monster!" The elf cried, trying to get away from the piglin king. He still tried even when he got there

Technoblade snorted as the other king struggled in his arms, kicking the horse in the process of trying to escape. The horse whinnying as he was kicked, he knew both of the kings wouldn't be bucked off if he stopped the elf before it happened.

"If you don't stop, we will both be crushed by a 1,400 pound animal" The larger male huffed in the man's ear, pulling him closer.

If anyone ever asked Eret if he thought he would ever be in a situation where he was getting turned on by his captor, he would call them delusional. But here he was, getting kidnapped- or elfnapped- by the Arctic Empires King. KING! Yes he was as well the king but still! It would ruin his reputation as the Elf king.

"Mmnmmnnm!" Eret tried to fight back but was soon spanked by the piglin.

"MMNMMNNM-" he was cut off again by a spank to the ass and his head shoved into the other kings fluffy chest.

If he said he didn't have a turn on by the spanking, then he would have been lying. His fur was soft and fluffy. If he's being honest the nether being takes care of his fur well.

He stopped squirming in the other man's arms. The Arctic king squeezed him more and put his snout in the elf's hair, snorting in it.

"You smell ripe," the nether beast said into his hair.

"..ripe?" The elven whispered.

"Ripe, as in your a virgin, and fertile"

"Wait WHAT?!" The elf was shocked, how the hell did this thing know that I'm a virgin based on my smell?!

"Yep, I can smell it in your scent, your scent smells nice, ripe, and se-"

"Shut up!" The small elf said while hitting the piglin's chest.

By now the horse that was holding them both slowed down and at a slow gait. "Carl's getting tired already" Carl? The highly feared blood god named his horse Carl?

"That's a stupid name" the brunette muttered, not knowing that his captor could hear him.

"I didn't choose the name, the voices did" The piglin said while patting Carl's neck. 'I was captured by a lunatic who has voices?!' Eret thought as his eyes widened.

After a little more riding Eret couldn't take it anymore. "Omg how long will this take?" The smaller one of the three sighed out.

"Were actually here" the nether beast said as Carl's hooves met stone bricks. 'Oh no..' Eret thought, this will be a longer ride than just trying to get here.

Chapter Text

While they were riding through the piglins kingdom, people started to notice that their king came back with someone.

Eret could see specific people because of their features, like the person with shoulder length pink hair and webbed type ears, next to a person with goat horns and ears, and white fluffy hair with a rainbow streak in it.

He also notices a person with 3d glasses, blue and gray striped hoodie, and headphones on his head.

"King Technoblade, your father needs you in his chambers"

Techno grunted at the guard, dismissing him. Right then a little boy ran over to the two.

"BLADE" the boy yelled as he ran into Carl's side. The boy was a blond boy with multiple Band-Aids all over. 'Did he just run into the king's horse?' Eret questioned himself, giving a little snicker that was received with a small spank. The brunette flushed heavily.

"What are you doing here Theseus, shouldn't you be at sword fighting lessons with Toby, and where is your crown and guards?" The piglin started mother henning the blond boy. 'Wait crown? Lessons? Knowing the king? IS THIS HIS SON?!' Eret started squirming. 'Why the fuck would he kidnap me then, I've been told already enough in my life that I look young.

"Stop" Techno mutterer as he spanked him a little harder. "Ewww you can't just do that Bladee, what would the crow father think" the blond, or Theseus, said. 'Crow father, who the fuck is he talking about. Is there some religion I don't know about?' Eret was confused. Yeah so not son, probably brother.

"You can't keep calling dad that, it sounds like you're delusional, Wilbur didn't even know who you were talking about" Yep, definitely brother. The piglin got off Carl's back, bringing his captive with him and throwing him over his shoulder. "Don't make me look like a fool" the king said in the elves ear as he walked with the teen.

"So, I would guess that Phil is ok?"

"Why would you ask."

"I was called to his chambers for some reason by the guards"

"Yeah he's fine, I saw him just minutes ago while me and Tubbo were practicing, also who the fuck is that?"

Oh no.

"He's the elves king" Techno muttered to the blond.

"WHAT" He screamed in a higher pitch. 'Jesus that was fucking high' Eret cringed, accidently kicking Techno softly, earning a hard spank. "Are you trying to get us both in trouble?" He muttered into Eret's side. He could feel his hot breath through his clothes.

"I didn't mean to ok!" The elf whispered.

"Shure, just trying to lie to get out of here eh?" The pink haired man questioned while grabbing his ass, squeezing it in the process. 'Damn doesn't this guy have someone else to grope?' Eret questioned.

"Heh, don't feel like you want me to leave, loving my ass so much." And another spank.

When they arrived at the castle Eret gulped, it was way bigger than the ones where he was from, well everyone was short and this place has a giant as a king.

They got to another door and opened it to a bedroom. There was a man sitting at the desk. He had blond short hair, and some small braids were in there. He wore blue and white robes like the other two.

"Daaad" the blond boy whined as he ran up to the sitting man, hugging him by the neck.

"Hello Tommy" the man said, turning to face the dirty blond and hugging him back. 'Sweet' , he thought, him and his father don't have a very good relationship since he rejected the princess that he suggested, telling him that he would marry only a man and nothing else.

"I see you have someone Techno"

"Yep, he's the one that the king said I would marry" The man said as he sat down, putting Eret on his lap.

"Wait WHA-" Erets mouth was covered before he could finish. His body was being held by his waist by an arm. And oh god was that arm strong and muscled.

"Yep, your dad said you agreed, didn't you?"

"No, last time I've heard of a marriage it was that one girl, who was it.. Was it Mix? No it wasn't it was....”

“Minx?”

"Yes! She wasn't really that nice though.. A good queen but not that good of a wife, besides I don't even like women." Eret complains as he shuffled closer to Techno, just cause.

"Oh.. I thought they said something to you"

"Maybe he would have if his kid wasn't stolen" He said while jabbing his finger at Techno. No malicious intent in it.

After that everyone went into small talk, he fell asleep listening to Techno's heartbeat.

Eret opened his eyes to find himself in the king's chambers, well their chambers now. He went over to the bed and sat down. This wasn't really that bad, he thought he would be staying in the dungeon as a sex slave for Techno, but this isn't really that bad. The bed was a big four poster bed, silk curtains connected to the posters.

He then noticed that he only has a silk black robe on with a bodysuit underneath and silk black thigh highs.

“Why is he here!” someone whispered outside of the door.

“He was fighting in the battle, what the hell was I supposed to do?” someone else replied.

“Oh I don’t know, don't take him!” the other answered.

“Well one of our soldiers would have killed him on the spot if I did nothing. Then his nation would have hated us even more!”

"Oh like kidnapping their king isn't any better"

Eret realized that they were talking about him and his kingdom.

He opened the door, regardless of his outfit, only to find Techno and someone else?

Chapter Text

"So this is the so-called elf king you took?" The man said he had brunette hair with a strip of white in it, circular glasses on top of his nose. He wore a brown denim trench coat, combat boots, and fingerless gloves.

"Yes I am the elf king” Eret said as he walked over to Technoblade, slivering his arm around his, making the piglin king blush and glance at him, but he was too busy glaring at the brunette across both of them. “And you are?”

“Oh how rude of my brother to not introduce me, I am Prince Wilbur of the Arctic Empire, it's a pleasure to meet you." He answered as he took Erets available hand, kissing it while bowing down.

"It's.. Pleasant to meet you too..?" He said, slowly taking his hand away from the brunette, joining his hand with the other around Techno's bicep. He was confused if he actually wanted to meet Techno's brother or not.

“Ok Wilbur, that's enough of talking to my wife” he said. Eret glanced over to him, blushing. The elf totally forgot about them getting married.

“My my my Techno… No need to be so territorial over property that I won’t try to touch” Wilbur sneered at his brother.

“I am not property!” The shortest exclaimed at the brunette, giving him the stink eye.

“Might as well be, it’s time to go anyways. Father called us down for the feast celebrating that.. creature you call a wife, so come and eat or not, I don’t fuckin care. Jeez I need a smoke break” Techno’s brother complained as he walked through the hallway left from the king's room.

Eret was livid, who was he to just waltz over to him and call him a creature and disrespect elf kind! He was so astonished that Wilbur Soot Minecraft, the son of Philza, just said that to him.

“Sorry he said that Eret, he just.. doesn’t like anyone.” Techno muttered as he took a step forward, making Eret stumble a little. “Well are we going to the feast? Father wouldn’t be happy if we didn’t”

“Of course we are, I want to actually get to know your family before I marry you, or we’ll the rest of your family” he said.

He now dreaded that decision when he was getting changed with the maids. He was getting dressed by a pink haired lady with webbed ears, she looked so similar but he just couldn’t put his finger on it.

“So, you're the man that the king had when he was riding in town yesterday, correct? I remember you looking at me and my wife while we were on break.” The woman said as she walked over to the man with a dress on with a corset in her hands.

“Wait, you're that woman! I remember seeing you while I was being.. es.. escorted in the kingdom. That was your wife?” He asked as he took the corset in his hands and clipped the front clips on the burgundy corset, the burgundy color almost blending in with the simple carmine colored dress. Trying to reach behind him to tighten the corset. Only for the woman to swat his hands away and tighten the strings for him.

“Yeah, my name is Niki and my wife's name is Puffy. We own a bakery near the castle but my wife is mostly there while I'm here by the king's orders.” She said while she went over to the vanity against the wall across the room, picking out one of the pins in a cup that looked more expensive than Erets bed at home.

Home…

He wonders if his dad missed him, or his mother and siblings. Or they all dont care that their son is being married in..

In…

When is he getting married? Techno never told him when he was getting married. All he knew was that he was getting married to a big hunk of a king.

Chapter Text

Niki put the clip in Eret up tied hair, that clip being a long hair clip with Lilies and… Red vines..?

Why the hell were there red vines? Where do you find those things in the over world, or you just couldn’t.. Well since Technoblade was a piglin brute I would guess that some things in this kingdom would be from his home world, but he’s never seen anything from the nether, since his father never wanted his children to see anything not from the elf world. He’s used to pink and purple and blue mushrooms, purple sand and red seas that never show mercy, and yellow rivers with teal toads and sharp flowers. Cherry blossom trees, sturdy with red wooden trunks.

Safe to say he wasn’t accommodated to the nether world or anything in it. He wasn’t really accommodated to the over world yet, only seeing it when his kingdom was threatened by others or when he was taken, like now. Now that he thinks about it he’s still kidnapped huh? Well there’s nothing he can do other than go with their plans to marry the king. Does his father even care that he's not with him? He probably doesn't care, or is even happy that his firstborn ‘mistake’ of a son is gone.

“Hey, you ok?” Niki asked as she finished everything.

“Oh, yes Niki. I’m ok just thinking about the past.” He sighed as he stood up. “Oh shit this dress feels nice” he whispered as he smoothed his hands on the bottom of his. Niki chuckled as she opened the door to the dressing room and led the soon to be King to the dining room