Archive of Our Own ^beta

XXX

The guy meeting them seems on edge and is hesitant to unlock the door, so there definitely must be something off.
He didn't seem like the nervous type when he gave her the paperwork last week, even tried to flirt with her. (And continued to do so, After she'd thrown in how she was looking forward to moving in with her lovely girlfriend.)

But damnit, it's a beautiful tiny cottage and cheap. Victorian era turrets, large arched windows and ivy covering an entire wall.
Marg seems to love it, judging by the way her eyes light up.
On paper everything was fine and now, in real life, it's even lovelier.

Finally, he manages to unlock the door and ushers them in, as if trying to be quiet.

"How many others are we up against?"

He turns around, clearly distracted by something else.
Has he forgotten some anniversary or what's going on with this guy, why is he so nervous?

"Well, there was an elderly couple..."

"But they didn't want it after all?"

"No, they preferred to stay in town, you understand, so they wouldn't have to drive far for groceries."

He hurries them along.

"Here, the first room. We have this lovely kitchen, gas stove and a bit outdated but I'm sure that's not going to be a problem if you want to live the cottage dream."

They don't even have time to take it all in, he's already hurrying to the next room.

"If you'd slow down a bit, I'd like to know more about this stove first," Marg chimes in, kind yet assertive.

The guy quietly sighs, turns around and explains the mechanics to her, where they can get gas and so on.

xxx

They don't have to move much around, the house's already fully furnished.
All their old stuff that doesn't fit goes in the cellar.

Sansa's brothers and her cousin are lending a hand here and there, even though Robb is pretty busy at the office and at home with their new baby.
Her best friend comes by but doesn't really work, more like he looks at the progress, carries one thing, then leaves.
He's still crushing on Robb, Margaery can tell.

Margaery's brothers don't show up, Loras is on honeymoon with his man, one of the Baratheon brothers.
Willas is on an extended business trip in the US, presenting his new findings to the comission but he calls in via Skype.
Garlan can't make it either. Around this time of year he's practically living on his board, preparing for the big tournament.

Once all their belongings and little knickknacks have moved in, it looks like home.

"It's perfect," Sansa beams.

Margaery smirks at her enthusiasm.

xxx

That night, they stay up, talking and watching a movie.
Sansa still hasn't found out what had the salesman so spooked.
It's all been perfect so far.

When they go to bed -Sansa with the sleep mask Marg always teases her for- and turn the lights off, they expect to get a good night's sleep.

But at exactly 0:00, Sansa checks to be sure, she is woken up by something. She can't tell what it was, the sound of her girlfriend quietly snoring and nature outside the window are the only things she hears.

She decides to go back to sleep, was probably just an owl hooting by the window.

When she drifts back to sleep, there definitely is a sound that shouldn't be. It sounds like a door closing softly. When she grabs a vase in the corner and goes to investigate, she hears the door of a cupboard slam.

"Marg! Wake up." She's shaking her, trying to wake her without alerting the intruder.

Marg groans, blinking up at her.

"What time is it? Why'd you wake me?"

"There's someone in the kitchen."

They both hear the stove turn on, full force.

"Let's find out who our guest is." Marg grabs a glass bottle.

Together, they sneak to the kitchen, only to find...nothing.

No signs of a break-in, upon a throughout search of their home nothing's stolen either.

Baffled, they meet back in the kitchen and decide to close all windows, just in case.

"Who in their right mind would do that? Break in and rummage through the pantry without taking anything?" Marg already tries to figure it out.

"Maybe some hungry homeless person? Are we sure the door was locked?"

"Maybe. I'm keeping watch, just in case, and we are going to get an alarm system installed."

"Im not going to let you stay up all night alone, Marg. You'd be bored to death."

"Film night, then, how's that sound?"

They huddle together on the couch.

"We should make this a regular thing."

"Love that idea."

That night, nothing else happens.

When the sun comes up, it finds them both half asleep, huddled under a mountain of blankets.

They get dressed for the day. Sansa gets to work, their business won't run itself.

Marg leaves for a drive into town, to talk to a specialist about getting cameras installed.

He comes to inspect the property and makes them an offer. They agree and he promises to have it delivered soon.

xxx

Once it's installed, they can both go sleep at the same time.

No weird shenanigans have ensued in the meantime, so they think they're good.

That night, again around 12 o'clock, Sansa hears noise. This time it's the cellar. Marg is already up.

They check but the cameras haven't shown any activity.

Marg has wisely bought two baseball bats, which they grab.

Once they open the door to the cellar though, they hear the door to their bedroom creak. They stare at each other.

"How?!"

"I don't know!"

Marg locks the cellar door and they go to the bedroom.

There the sheets are lying on the floor and the window is wide open.

Marg throws a jacket and shoes on and runs out the door, to search outside.
Sansa is right behind her.

"Come fight me, you coward! You don't scare us!" She raises the bat.

Silence.
Then some eerie giggling comes from inside the house.

The door clicks.
They're locked out.

"Do you think..."

"Don't say it, there's no such thing, Sansa. They think it's this easy to frighten us, that's all."

"I hope you're right."

"Of course I am. Want to smash some windows, hunny?"

"No, wait. I got a key here." She finds one in her coat pocket.

Marg stares at her, then kisses her.

"I love you."

Sansa's blushing, which is silly of her, they've been together so long.

"I love you too but it's no big deal, a happy accident if anything."

"Come on, let's go show them not to mess with us."

xxx

Margaery takes her by the hand and they open the door.

"Wherever you are, come out. Or are you scared?"

"Of you? Oh, please."

"Did you hear where that came from?"

"Marg..."

"Yes? Where are they?"

She turns around when no answer comes and Sansa looks a bit paler, spooked, she can't really believe...no, she'd know better than that.

"Marg. Something's wrong here."

She puts an arm around Sansa's shoulder, rubbing calming circles.

"Luv, its alright. We just have to find out where they're hiding. There's no such thing."

Marg, there's nobody else here, didn't you notice?"

"She's getting it! You're a bit slow, aren't you?" the disembodied voice mocks her.

"A voice can't come from nowhere. Maybe they put up... a speaker."

"Look up," the voice demands.

She does.

No.
Way.
Impossible.
There's no way to explain whatever this is.

"Sansa, are you seeing this? I'm not losing it, right?"

Sansa's looking up as well.

"If you are... then we both are. I'm seeing the same thing."

Marg challenges the thing:
"Why'd you terrorise us, huh?"

"This is my home. Has been for centuries."

"Right. And where's the paperwork to prove it?"

xxx

Sansa is just staring between them.

"Marg, what are you doing?"

She's actually arguing with a...

"I'm making sure it won't bother us anymore, I got this, hun."

"Ugh, you two are sickeningly sweet. Disgusting. The last tenants at least had entertaining fights. Never got boring, the way he threw the chairs after her. But you two are nothing but cotton candy and rainbows."

"If a healthy relationship disgusts you, why don't you piss off?"

"Why don't you?"

xxx

"Huh." That's all Theon has to say.

"See, I told you."

"Sansa? I'm not losing it, right? Are you seeing this?"

"That's what I tried to tell you."

"I thought this was a prank! That's why I agreed to come!"

"Well, I'm real, as you can see."

The ghost looks slightly miffed over the new spectator.

"Ha! And it can talk! The hell!"

"Hey, redhead, is he gonna move in as well? He's even dumber than your church-bell of a girlfriend."

"Watch it!" Marg and Theon say at the same time, for once agreeing on something.

xxx

Theon promises to stay for a few days and stay awake the nights, so the ghost won't be able to wreck havoc unsupervised.

Marg and Sansa stubbornly refuse to move out, they're apparently gonna stick this out.

He decides to take a shower, in dire need of one after his recent creative slump. (Thank fuck for Sansa pulling him back into the real world).

That ghost is so old-timey, it surely wouldn't break the rules of common decency.
He hopes.
And it's not midnight yet, the girls said that's when it pulls all the pranks.

Eh, whatever. He's not gonna let some magic flickering person scare him.

Right as he turns the water on, he hears his towel flop to the floor. Annoyed, he flings open the curtain to pick it up, believing it fell on its own.

A flickering hand closes over his mouth.

"Sh. You don't want them to hear, do you?"

Theon jumps out the shower, pulls the towel around himself and glowers up at the ghost.
Who is now floating up at the ceiling, grinning down on him.

"The fuck you think you're doing, pal?"

"Why? Something you don't want me seeing?"

"Piss off, asshole."

"You're no fun."

"Damn right. I ain't running scared."

"No, why would you. A clever man like you isn't scared of paranormal beings such as myself."

"You got that right."

"Sure you still feel the same way?"

His...his face is now half gone, basically chewed off and still oozing blood.
The white of his jaw peeks out of the gory mess.
The rest of him doesn't seem to be in much better condition, clothes hanging in bloody tatters.

If he looks any longer, he might throw up.

The ghost blood drops to the floor, he jumps out of the way in time.
It flickers, then vanishes.
The ghost makes no effort to get rid of his disgusting new look.

"That's how I died, pretty, right?"

"Leave me alone!"

"Why? This is my house."

"No way, the girls bought it."

"What would you know of it? You don't even live here."

Theon finally manages to grow some balls.

"Sansa is my friend and I won't let you pester them any longer!"

The ghost laughs and in passing pulls the towel down, leaving him naked and cursing after him.

xxx

The next morning, Theon tells Sansa he can't stand this any longer.
It's been only one night and he promised her five.
But there's no way he's going to live through this live-horror-show every night.

xxx

"What did it do?"

"He showed me his fucking face, that's what. All bloody and gory. And it wasn't even midnight."

"Not midnight? Are you serious?"

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

"No, no, I believe you. That's bad."

Margaery takes it into her own hands.

"Hey you, if you don't leave my girlfriend's friend alone, we are going to get more people to stay here. It could be a whole party. We could even have his band come over."

"I have a name, you know," Theon helpfully chimes in.

"Oh, really?" She deadpans, no patience right now, for anyone but her girl.

"Yeah, really."

"Do we have a deal?"

No reply.

"Hate to break it to you but you're talking to the air."

One of these days Theon is gonna get his ass handed to him.
She only agreed to let him stay because everyone else was busy.
His stupid band is on break again and he's a loser who doesn't have anything better to do.

Why Sansa chooses to stick around him she'll never understand.
They're childhood friends.
So what?

xxx

He flops down on the couch, trying to write for the first time in a while.

But the words just won't flow. Writer's block. Frustrated, he throws pen and paper down.

"What is this supposed to be?"

The flickering bastard appears again, now thankfully without the ghastly wounds.

"Oi! Didn't you hear her? She said to leave me alone or we're gonna invite a whole bunch of noisy fellas over."

"I'm not doing anything now, am I?"

"You're being annoying, that's plenty."

"Go on, you won't even know I'm here."

"What?"

"I want to see what you're doing."

The ghost settles down, staring at him expectantly. He stares right back but after a good minute, sighs.

"You're not going to leave, are you?"

He picks up the pen again, but doesn't manage to get his mind back on task.

"Argh! Can't concentrate for shit."

The ghost floats down to him, "sitting" on the backrest.

"You know, you're much better company than those two. They're so fluffy and perfect."

Theon peers up at him. Surprising himself with a muffled: "Tell me about it."

The ghost raises his brows at the unexpected answer. "So you agree?"

"Kinda makes you jealous, doesn't it?"

"You're jealous your friend is happy?"

"What. No!"

After a while of silence, Theon decides it can't do harm to tell.
He's wanted someone to listen for a while now, but he can't tell his bandmates or anyone else really.

"There is this guy..."

"So you're in love?"

"Yeah and so what? You never been?"

"Not really. Not when I was alive, not after."

"How did you even die, man?"

"You want all the gruesome details?"

"Uh, no thanks. And don't show me anything either."

"Well you see, I died in 1803. It was a terrible year for my poor family."

"You don't have to rhyme, mate."

"'Mate?'"

Theon just quirks an eyebrow in response, the ghost decides to drop it.

"As I was saying, my family was rich, we had a ball, but then one day we lost it all."

He's taken to floating around the room now, gesturing to dramatise his storytelling.

Then he starts reaching back to his childhood, ignoring Theon's attempts to shut him up.

He's a good storyteller though and after a while Theon finds himself taking notes.

"Mother used our money to bail my father out of jail. He killed her when she stood in his way. I took my swift revenge. Buried him where no man would search. By accident a hunter came by. He found me ripped apart by his pack."

"Why the fuck did he kill her if he loved her?"

"I didn't ask. Wait, did you write that down?"

He makes a grab for the notebook but Theon pulls it out of reach first.

"None of your business."

"Excuse you? It's my life."

"Was your life. You're dead. You can't claim copyright. It'd make a badass song."

"Play it to me and maybe I'll let you use it."

"I don't have my guitar here."

"Sing it then."

"Seriously? Now?"

"You're going to be awake all night. Do something productive."

"You know what, no thanks."

"I bet you can't even sing. You use -what is it called- autotune, don't you?"

"Alright, you're on."

Theon gets his notes and tries to string them together in the melody he has in mind.

The ghost doesn't seem to hate it, judging by how attentively he's listening.

"I've decided. You can use it."

"I would've anyway."

"No, you wouldn't. You would have had a freak accident and no one would believe the two if they said it was a ghost who did it."

"That's evil."

"Why do you think I'm still here? Heaven didn't want a piece of me so I'm stuck to this house until it crumbles to dust."

"And how long is that gonna take?"

"Good 300 years, that is, if no one tries to renovate."

"Must be lonely."

"Not always."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He crowds in close, cold mouth at his ear. Wasn't personal space a thing back in 1803?

When he disappears, Theon is left flustered and slightly disturbed by the ideas that guy has running through his head. So old and yet so kinky. Nothing prim and proper about him.

xxx

Luckily it stays at one bathroom encounter, but otherwise the ghost seems determined to spend all his nights talking to him.
Must be bored out of his mind but who can blame him.

Theon has to admit, the fella's interesting.
And has a good sense of humour, if a dark one.
He's a ghost, it's understandable.

And he wants to- has to- get over Robb (really, it's been five years, the guy's married for FS sake), so why not take the opportunity.
A spectre isn't the weirdest kind he's been fooling around with.

He picked up his guitar from home the other day and now works on tweaking the melody, with the ghost sitting next to him and commenting on it.

"What else did you write?"

And so it happens that Theon plays his band's best-of to some long dead posh guy.

For someone who -self-proclaimed- only cares for Classical music, he's taken to Indie Rock rather quick.

xxx

"If I wouldn't know better, I'd say your friend has a thing for our ghost."

"Marg!"

"What? Just look at him."

"I can hear you, you know," said friend calls, head peeking in from the kitchen.

"Yeah? Then make us some tea while you're at it. Can't raid our fridge all the time and not do anything in return."

"Hey! First you insult me, then you try to boss me around. No way."

"Leave if you don't like it."

"Theon, could you Please make us some tea?" Their bickering is slowly getting on Sansa's nerves.

"See, that's how you do it."

Satisfied, he goes back to the kitchen and really, they can hear him put the kettle on.

"This stove is antique! How do you girls manage?"

"Just don't burn the house down, will you?" Marge calls after him.

"Whoops, too late."

Sansa is about to get up and do it herself but then he comes back, grinning and with steaming cups of green tea.

"For my two favourite lesbians."

He flops down in between them, uninvited.
Margaery rolls her eyes, Sansa gives her a little nudge.

"Sorry, babe. He's annoying."

"Oh, I'm annoying? I'll have you know, I've known Sansa much longer than you and right now, you're annoying me."

"Theon! Both of you, shut up."

"No need to yell."

"Hun, are you alright?" Marg looks at her, worried.

"It's fine. It's been a bit much, the ghost thing, all these pranks..."

Marg looks positively vengeful now and she loves her for it.

"I'm going to kick his ectoplasmic ass, just you wait. He's going to answer for all that, even if Theon here has been sufficiently distracting him from more bullshit."

"I've done no such thing, leave me out of this."

"Oh yeah? Then why have you been staying this long after you wanted nothing but to leave?"

"What? I can't help my friend out now, is that it?"

"Don't play coy with me."

"I'm not. But you always go right Amazone on me."

"Ghost fucker."

"Hag."

"Slut."

"Bitch!"

Sansa opts to go for a walk and leaves them to it.
Maybe they'll tire each other out by the time she's back.

XXX