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Language:
English
Series:
Part 4 of The Lighthearted Adventures of Phoebe and Raul
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Published:
2022-02-18
Completed:
2022-02-19
Words:
696
Chapters:
2/2
Comments:
56
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819

I Wrote An Entire Fic In Script Format To Prove That I Can Still Make Better Fics Than Wattpad Writers

Summary:

There is no summary. Read at your own discretion.

Notes:

I hope you readers can forgive me, this physically hurt me to write. And yes, this is not canon. You will regret reading this.

In case you're new here, though, I recommend you check out the other books in this series first before you read this one! It just builds upon who Phoebe and Raul are - yes, they are actual characters that I use, and no, they are not complete and utter jokes (I hope).

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Part One

Chapter Text

Name: HMS Y/N 'Yamato' (pronounced 'Yam-hu-toe')

 

Class: Iowa-class Aviation-Battleship

 

Hull number: 69

 

Looks: Pls don't actually take this seriously

 

Ship: Ship.

 

Armaments:

-3,000 x Mk. 420 1,000mm main battery guns

-69,420 x Mk. 42 69mm secondary battery guns

-100,000 x Mk. 4.2mm machine guns

-30,000 x 500-Terawatt railguns

-20,000 x Tomahawk Cruise Torpedoes

-10,000 x Mk. 48 Cruise Missiles

-20,000,000,000 Nuclear/Antimatter/Energy/Napalm/Corrosive/Vacuum/Ur mom ICBM's

-10,000,000 F-35 Lightning II's

-12,000,000 F-22 Raptors

-50,000,000 B-24 Bombers

-1 UH-60 Chinook

 

Abilities:

-Submerge: Y/N can submerge like a submarine

-Plot armor: Y/N cannot be sunk

-Because f--- the laws of physics: This 100-mile long battleship has a single 2-meter long helicopter blade attached to its tower so that it can fly

-EX Harem Skill: Y/N has the ability to pick up any girl if he so desires to. However, he doesn't use this skill because he's still looking for his 'one true love'

-EMP: Y/N has the ability to let loose a gigantic EMP that can fry any electronic close to him

 

Backstory: (to the tune of Bo Burnham's 'Jeffrey Bezos') Battleship, extraordinaire, born in 1969, Y/N, Y/N Yamato. Battleship, extraordinaire, born in 1969, Y/N, Y/N Yamato. C'mon Y/N, you can kill it! Sail the way, put your superstructure into it! Tell us why, show us how! Look at where you came from, look at you now! Grandleviathan and KrispyTori and delusionalcookie, amateurs can fucking suck it! Fuck their wives, drink their blood! C'mon, Y/N, get 'em!

 

Current Status: Is alive and is the grand emperor of humanity with his harem, which includes kansen like Enterprise, Essex, Akagi, Kaga, Cleveland, Montpelier, Independence, Sovetskaya Belorussiya, Avrora, Suruga, Shinano, New Jersey, Shimakaze, Ark Royal, Queen Elizabeth, Nagato, Bismarck, FDG, and Hornet.

 

---

 

*Azure portal appears and Phoebe and Raul walk out of it onto a deserted Port*

Phoebe: Huh, that's weird. I don't remember Ports being this desiccated. What happened here?

Raul: *checks watch and touches it a bit* Well, according to this... *summons holographic radar map and accompanying mission description* we're supposed to fight some sort of... warship? Huh, that's weird...

Phoebe: What is it? *looks at radar map*

Raul: *points at language on the hologram* this mission name is called 'I wrote an entire fic in script format to prove that I can still make better fics than Wattpad writers'.

Phoebe: *laughs* ahahahahahaha! What sort of fic is that? It's trash!

Raul: *snickers* but yeah, the mission description says that we need to defeat a fuck-all warship, apparently. It's name is Yamato but it's an Iowa-class battleship...? What?

Phoebe: *looks around* well, he can't be here. So where can he-

Suddenly, 5,000,000 F-35 Lightning II's flashed into existence around them, circling them as they all watched the two people. They each carried a GAU-8 Gatling cannon on their underbellies which could 

Raul: *gets into a fighting stance, surprised* what the?! Where did they come from?

Phoebe: *also gets into fighting stance, drawing her katana* yeah, what you said! Where did all of you planes come from?

A man on top of one of the F-35 Lightning II's suddenly appears out of nowhere with a casual smirk.

???: *nonchalantly* You think you can take me on?

Phoebe: *confused* And who are you?

???: I am the battleship that you are looking for. I am Yamato of the Iowa-class battleships! *summons his gigantic rigging* Look at my guns! My secondary batteries! Bow before me and surrender and I might make the black-haired one a member in my harem. *grins sadistically* but the silver-haired one can die.

Raul: *blinks* Okay, that's uncalled for mate.

Phoebe: *is furious* How dare you call me a potential slave of yours?! *readies her katana* I'll make you pay!

She said furiously as she blushed a bright red.

Yamato: *grins* oh, alright then. I guess I'll have to incorporate you into my harem the hard way then. *readies guns*

Phoebe: *glares* Come at me! I dare you! *waves katana menacingly*

 

To be continued...

 

Chapter 2: Part Two

Summary:

Part Two idk

Notes:

Ooga

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Raul: *shoots Yamato dead with a Glock. Repeatedly*

 

The End

Notes:

Booga

Notes:

I told you that you would regret reading this.