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Estinien stood staring at the sunset in the Churning Mists, silently fuming. A conversation he, Ysayle, Alphinaud, and Agnes had just as they arrived at their camp for the evening infuriated him. Alphinaud and Agnes were speaking of the future once the Dragonsong War would reach its conclusion. As if it were so simple! Even Ysayle chimed in, stating her hopes that dragonkind and men could live in peace and harmony as they once did.
How dare anyone dream? This war is not yet won! We don’t even know how this “meeting” with Hraesvelgr will go!
Estinien had enough of their prattling, telling them as such, and stormed off. He remembered seeing Agnes’ face before he left, painted in sadness.
My duty…My duty must come first.
It was true that he had grown fond of Agnes Currai since their meeting in Camp Dragonhead, especially on their journey through Dravania. Her kindness touched him in ways he hadn’t thought possible, not since Ferndale. One might even say that he had fallen for her.
But I am not fit to lick her boots. She deserves not a broken husk of a man filled with vengeance. She deserves someone like Haurchefant, who is clearly in love with her. Either she is not aware of this or is not interested. Likely the former. She deserves someone like Aymeric. He is a brave and honorable man, who has the means to give her anything she desires---a beautiful home, money to buy gifts of any price, anything…And then there’s me. Naught to my name but my title of Azure Dragoon. Naught but my fury. And what can I offer her? Naught what she deserves.
Footsteps from behind him brought him out of his dreary thoughts. “Who’s there?”
“It’s me---Agnes. Ysayle wanted me to let you know that supper will be ready in about a half bell.” Agnes said with a sad smile. She looked not just sad but also nervous.
“Good.”
Agnes wrung her hands together. “I-I also wanted to say I’m sorry if I upset you or made you angry before. That wasn’t my intention. I…see you at supper.” Agnes turned to leave.
No, please, don’t go. “Agnes!”
She stopped and turned.
“I was not angry with you, nor was I upset. I simply…cannot think of that time right now. I must focus on my duty.” Though a future with you warms my heart more than you’ll ever know.
“Right, right! Of course! That was silly of me.”
“It’s not silly to dream of the future, Agi. I just cannot right now. That you can dream, despite all that has happened…tis a beautiful thing.” You are far stronger than me. Stronger than you will ever know. And I do not deserve you.
Agnes smiled and walked tentatively towards Estinien. “Tis a lesson I am still learning. And one I shall keep learning as long as I live.” She raised her right hand and started to reach to him but pulled away at the last second. “We good?”
“As I said, I was and am not angry with you, Agi.” I could never be angry with you. You are a light that shines in my fury-filled heart. “I simply needed time to collect my thoughts.”
“Good. You’re my friend, and if I’ve done something stupid or anything, just tell me and I’ll try to fix it.” She laughed a little. “Well, I suppose that’s the healer in me talking! Always wanting to make it better. Pop a regen and hope for the best! And if not, then I’ll try something else.” She gazed to the sunset, and her eyes widened in awe. “Oh Estinien, that sunset…look at the colors. It’s so beautiful.”
Estinien watched Agnes watch the sunset. A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. You are beautiful, my sweet girl. You shine. You glow. You deserve so much more than I could ever give, but if only for a moment you would favor me with a glimmer of your love, I would die a happy man.
“…Estinien? Are you alright?” Agnes was now staring at him, concerned. “Is it the Eye?”
“What? No. Just…lost in my thoughts.”
“Would you like it if I left?”
No, please, no, no. Don’t ever go. “Nay…don’t mind me. You are right though---tis a lovely sunset.” But not lovelier than you.
“I’d like to think my mum is seeing the same sunset in Costa del Sol.” Agnes said wistfully. “That way, it’s like we’re seeing it together. And she’s not so far away.” She scrunched her nose. “Oh, sorry! Look at me being all sappy.”
Estinien had to laugh at that. “My lady, if you are sappy, then I know not what little lord Alphinaud is!”
Agnes gasped and then laughed. “Estinien! He’s just cares! A lot!” She continued to giggle, inwardly delighting him. “He’s a good young man. He really is. And I’m so glad that despite your teasing you see it too.”
“Aye, he’s a fine lad. Just don’t tell him I said it. Reputations and all that.” He said with a wink. Agnes once again giggled. Never stop laughing, sweetheart. Tis like music to mine ears.
“I suppose we better head back to our little camp. Supper will be ready soon.”
“I’d like to have a few moments more here, but you go on ahead.”
Agnes smiled, turned, and began the walk back to camp.
Estinien faced the sunset once more. One day, when this is all over, I promise I will speak of my feelings to you. I know not if you return them. I pray that you do. But until then, my duty must come first.