Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“What are we going to do once we escape?”

Keiji remembered that question being asked before, back in a more optimistic section of the death game. Back before the second main game vote, where there wasn’t a first attempt that went horribly wrong, and their numbers were far wider than 3 people. And the question sounded far less rhetorical.

“What? Why are you so interested?” Sou asked, his words containing only a passive amount of venom. “Think I’d tell you the details of my day to day life, Ms Sara?”

“No, it’s not that. I’m just worried about what comes after. Asunaro is a big company. They have hooks on the police, they’ve been watching us for years… they’ve been in our lives in ways we’ve never known…”

“Is this about your dad, meow?” Gin inquired.

“I-I’m just speaking about all of us! If we got out, who’s to say Asunaro won’t just pluck us up and put us back in?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. For now, leaving the game should be enough to disrupt it for a while, even if they do ‘pluck us up’” Sou hand waved “You did all this to escape and can’t make it past the homestretch? Come on.”

That seemed to do the job of silencing the teen. Keiji rubbed his neck unsure of what to say to her. Considering her… circumstances she probably couldn’t go back home after this ended. He briefly considered offering her a place to stay at his apartment but that felt like a bad idea. That place was a pigsty, and certainly no place for a teenage girl, and seeing as it was one bedroom he had no idea where she’d even sleep. Besides, like she said, Asunaro agents would probably come looking for the participants in their own homes. So, he’d have to ditch that place. Huh. Being homeless sure was something that looked like a possibility. He wondered if he could try his mom as a hiding spot. Probably not. It was obvious and would just cause problems for the both of them. Sorry mom. Guess you’re not gonna know where your kid is for a while longer.

“Um… if we escape… will my mom be safe meow?” Gin inquired “Because my wish when I signed the form was that she’d be safe woof. And if I go against them…”

A pause went through the room, as the adults (no not all adults… there’s still one teenager among them) looked at each other in disarray at the question none of them had considered before or had a clear answer to. It told Gin all he needed to know.

“Okay… I’ll just have to protect mom myself… woof…”

“Gin… we’ll… figure something out.” Sara said, her voice scratchy and clearly holding back tears. Always playing the leader even at her breaking point. 

“Mr Policeman will step in if something bad happens.” Keiji interjected, able to keep his voice much cooler. “Worse comes to worse, we can have your mom come with us whatever happens.”

Gin nodded bravely and kept walking ahead. 

“Mom coming sounds great meow. Now I’m ready for any-“

Gin’s sentence was cut short as he hit an obstacle in his path. 

“Ouch! Get out of the way Slenderman, we’re trying to-“

Four pairs of eyes widened and filled with despair as they realized who was standing in front of them, and that their hopes of escape had just been dashed once again. Gin turned around, taking steps to make a run for it, but was quickly snatched by the hood and pulled back.

“MEOW! That hurts woof!”

“Gin!” Sara began advancing only to have Sou’s arm come between them.

“This is a hostage situation right?” Sou growled from his teeth “We listen to your demands you let Gin go?”

Keiji watched a toothy smile come out from underneath the bandages as Gin trembled with tears in his eyes.

“I guess it’s kinda like that. Though mostly I just wanna talk to you guys, and I feel like the subject I’m gonna bring up will make you pretty mad. So I’m just making sure you don’t come too close.”

“Don’t listen to anything he says, Big Sis Sara!” Gin yelled “I’m sure we can make an exception to the ‘listen to your parents’ rule woof!”

It was a cute sentiment, but one from someone who clearly didn’t grasp the situation he was in to the fullest extent. The three of them were pretty much all grabbed by Meister in this condition.

“… Meister, surely there’s a way to have a negotiation without a need for-“

“Sara…” he suddenly spoke in a tune like she had just hurt his feelings or something. “Surely you can call me father.”

You’re not even her real father you dickhead. Keiji wanted to say, but he knew that wouldn’t do them any favors. He watched Sara flinch helplessly, as even Sou’s face showed disgust, but she took a deep breath and continued.

“Fa-fa….father. I don’t think we need hostages to have a proper negotiation.” She muttered, taking advantage of the lack of eyes on the figure so she could avoid contact with wherever they would be.

“Well hey, last time I turned my back on your crazy little gang, you tried to escape. I’d much rather be safe than sorry.” Meister shrugged “Now, the more we waste time on this argument, the more this poor kid gets his hair pulled, so why don’t we move on to the topic at hand.”

“I hope your bandages turn into snakes that eat you, meow!”

“Get it over with then.” Keiji said glaring at him “We don’t have time to deal with any of your bullcrap.”

“Hey, hey, who said it’s for you?” Meister grinned taking off his hat “See, a good dad pays attention to what his daughter says. And Sara, I think I might be able to give you something you want since I’ve been listening to you.”

Oh no. Oh no no no no no. Keiji had no idea what he was referring to that Sara said, nor did he know what kind of life at home Sara lead with this man, but all he knew was that if he was specifically talking to her, then nothing good would come of it. Keiji stepped in front of Sara, obscuring her from this horrible monster's view.

“Officer Shinogi, please let me see my daughter.”

“Sorry. You’re gonna need a warrant.”

“Yeesh… never expected you to get this protective. Probably why you signed the contract for him, eh Sara?”

“… I knew this was about the contract.”

The contract? Keiji knew she signed it, and that she made the wish for Gin’s sake but-

“‘Could I use my wish to end the death game’? I think those were your words, give or take, if you wanna get technical.” Meister said “You sure care a whole bunch.”

“Midori said I couldn’t wish for that though! He said it’d disrupt the game-“

“You can’t use it as your contract wish.” Meister continued “But let’s say I… repurposed it. For a deal.”

Keiji felt sick to his stomach. He understood. He understood exactly what this was. 

“Officer Shinogi I ask again that you let me look at my daughter for this.”

“Go to hell.”

“Whoa. Strong language.” Meister said “I’d almost think you forgot I’m holding on to a poor twelve year old boy. Poor thing. Never got to see retirement.”

Damn. That was right. He had a hostage. Keiji felt like he was leaving Sara exposed to an enemy attack- which was exactly what he was doing- but with Gin’s safety on the line he had no choice but to step aside. He saw Sara’s face trying so hard to remain objective in this nightmare she was being shown.

“Bastard…” he heard Sou whisper under his breath.

“Sara, I know you care about everyone here. And I know escape is going to come with its own battles. So I have a proposal.” Meister grinned “I can let them all go right now. I’ll return them home. In exchange, you stay and become Asunaros heiress. Right here. Right now. Nobody has to die, least of all you. Everyone has a safe future and can go home. Including you. Pretty good deal right? What do you say?”

I’d say you’re a manipulator, and to stay away from her. Is what Keiji thinks. Sara folds in on herself when she hears the deal, clearly having also guessed from the context clues. Her eyes squeeze shut, her lip gets bitten, and her head hangs down, as she hugs herself for support. 

“Is that what you wanted to ask? Because if so, let go of Gin, because we’re not taking this deal.” He tells him.

“Hey, I’m not asking you. I’m asking my daughter. What do you think, Sara? Good deal or no?”

As if she can answer in that state he’s put her in- but then she answers anyway-

“Will they have assured safety after the fact?”

“Ooooh? Well sure if you want! We can assure financial safety, as well as health safety and all that! Though, I ask that you don’t expect to see them again.”

“Don’t take his deal Big Sis Sara meow! It sucks woof!”

“Of course she’s not taking the deal.” Sou said “Who’s to say you’ll stick to your word? We know you’ve been able to pull one over on Ms Sara for what amounts to a lifetime, and we’re supposed to believe you based on the honors system when you have a hos-“

“Okay. I’ll take it.”

The world was shattering. Keiji felt his veins turn to ice as Sara stepped forward, and Meister's grin to the ends of his face, a grin that looked impossibly inhuman and probably even less so if the rest of his features were there to accompany it.

“Big sis Sara, don’t-“ Gin was once again cut off as he was pushed forward, and caught by Sou, though quickly pushed off his ‘rescuer’ in anger “Let go of me loner! Big sis Sara don’t go with him!”

“This is the best option. Our escape has been cut off… so it’s best to just let everyone get out safely.” Sara said quietly “I’m sorry I can’t come with you.”

“Wha… what complete bullshit!” Sou yelled “What, are you trying to get away from my little promise to kill you?! Is that it?! How about you get back here and take some goddamn responsibility?!”

This was not going to happen. Keiji wouldn’t let her walk off with that person. He wasn’t going to go home without Sara. He was going to spend the rest of his life on the razor's edge of Asunaro before he let her leave as Asunaros new heiress.

“Sara you don’t know what you’re doing!” He told her “You’re a kid! You’re 17! This isn’t the kind of decision you should be making!”

He knows the words are shallow and hypocritical. He knows he’s the one who put her in charge and kept his mouth shut while she couldn’t keep up. But he knows what he’s saying now is true. She’s too young to trade the rest of her life for theirs.

“Don’t worry… I can handle myself fine. I’ve gone this long haven’t I?” She forces a chuckle. Keiji doesn’t know if she’s talking about her leadership skills or her life with this man, and he doesn’t want to know.

“Enough with the goodie two shoes act… get back here Ms Sara. I know you like to play leader, but this is ridiculous.”

“Big Sis Sara I want to keep seeing you woof!”

“Well, it looks like you’re not getting any support for your decision.” Keiji watched the man place a hand onto Sara’s shoulder, the crumpling fabric underneath a sign that he was squeezing tight. “Sara, should we get going? Sorry if the ending is abrupt but we do have work to do.”

“You’re not ‘going’ anywhere.” Keiji said “She’s coming with us.”

“Oh really…?” Meister shrugged tilting his head “And where would some random murderer take her?”

Damn him. He hated him. He hated watching his hand on Sara’s shoulder turn into his entire arm around her, gently pushing her away.

“Um… hey, Keiji?” Sara looked back. Keiji wondered if she was going to condemn him too, seeing how much he failed her, how he let her take responsibility so much that she believed her only choice was leaving in the arms of her manipulator.

“Thank you… for everything.”

Oh… that was worse.

Keiji would have started to give chase, but a solid wall fell between him and where Sara was walking.

“Sara!” He banged on the steel “No, no, no… please! Sara! You don’t have to do this!”

“Big sis Sara!” Gin started rapidly banging on the door beside him “Come baaaaaaaaack! Don’t go with Slenderman!”

“Hey, you two!” Sou shouted “We have other concerns right now! Look around!”

Keiji didn’t want to do that. Sara was in danger, she had given herself over to him, she needed to be rescued, she- 

“Idiot, look around you! There’s gas pumping in here!”

Keiji took a look. Sure enough, something white was funneling into here through the vents and since there were apparently two walls that had been made, it was filling in fast.

“Is Slenderman gonna kill us?” Gin whined.

“It might be non-lethal but we can’t be too careful.” Sou took off his beanie and handed it to the child “Try breathing through that.”

Keiji covered his mouth and nose with his hands as Sou used his scarf as cover. He kept his eyes on the wall though. She was beyond there. If he could get through… get through to her… please let her be safe… please… please… please…

Keiji woke up to a ceiling he knew. It was chipped and ugly. His apartment ceiling. His hands shot to his neck quickly to check for a steel metal collar. No signs of such a thing were found. He was in his shitty bed, his phone was next to the- oh god his phone- he had so many missed calls. From work, his mom- how was he going to explain any of what had happened? How was he going to explain how he was free? He was free because…

“Because you left me.” A familiar voice rang in his ear and he felt himself groaning in despair, and burying his hands in his face. This couldn’t be happening. Not another one.

“Maybe I wouldn’t have done it if you hadn’t been so selfish.”

He didn’t say anything. He couldn’t acknowledge it. Just let her talk. She’d go away eventually.

“Keiji… I’m scared! Help me-“ 

Keiji suddenly looked to the side to see her. The bags under her eyes had taken up her entire face and she was covered in bandages, the same kind that bastard of a father wore, but in random, indiscriminate places, so they hung off her, yet looked like they’d swallow her whole. He suddenly realized he’d just looked, and quickly turned to run before one of those hands could shoot out to his neck. This lead to him falling on top of the couch in the living room and banging his head, so results could be said to vary. 

This was enough. He knew what he was going to do, and he knew he was going to do it if it was the last thing he did. With heavy feet, he stumbled to his laptop, going to the internet and typing with fast hands.

“Asunaro” 

Chapter Text

When Sara first sold her life away to the man who both raised and put her in a death game, the fact she had done so didn’t register with her. In fact she felt nothing. Maybe she was too exhausted for feelings. The death game had took them all from her, stripped her of any want for them. If she let herself feel she’d be in agony. It was easier to shut it off.

And so, she was taken to the winners room, dazed and broken into pieces, while her father's bandaged face told her how proud he was that she made such a difficult choice but his voice was no more than static noise in the background, as she ate tasteless food. None of it was appetizing. She honestly wasn’t even hungry but the idea of not eating when she was told to as her first order didn’t seem like a good idea. Better to go along and do what they say when the lives of your allies are on the line.

As she tried to keep down the plate of f expensive food, she remembered the desperate screams from Gin, Keiji, even Sou, to stop her from this path. It was sad but a necessary sacrifice. She made a hard choice but she was pretty sure this would make everyone happiest. They were safe now. She would go… home in a sense. Home with a monster. But home. Maybe happy wasn’t the right word. But better unhappy than dead.

She ended up falling asleep in the winners room. Or maybe passing out is the more accurate term. When she woke up she was in a lovely queen bed, but it wasn’t her own twin bed with an anime cover, so she couldn’t call what happened a dream.

The room was nice though. She had a flatscreen tv at her disposal and a large armoire with a suit hanging on the side. Most likely a suit for when she went to take care of business actions. That made her shudder. What did they intend to make her do? She curled in on herself trying to keep away any possible answers until breakfast arrived.

Her food came on a tray of eggs Benedict served on a croissant and fresh fruit with some tea. She barely touched any of it. Still not hungry and nobody was watching now. She could ignore their food. 

Eventually her father walked into the room. At least he wasn’t wearing those bandages anymore. He was just himself, wearing his prideful smile he wore whenever she took home the gold in kendo.

“Sara. Glad you’re awake.”

Sara wasn’t sure what to say. ‘What time is it?’ ‘How could you do this to me?’ ‘Who the fuck even are you?’ She said none of it. Just looked at her uneaten breakfast.

“…. I figured I’d get the silent treatment.” Her dad sighed sitting next to her. “You may not understand it now, but I’m doing this for you and your potential Sara. Haven’t I always told you you’re destined for greatness?”

Sara responded by poking at the eggs benedict. She used to have eggs benedict at home. This wasn’t cooked the same. The person who usually made it was dead. She could see all the ways in which this didn’t match. 

“… Sara.”

All of a sudden her head was taken to the side and now rested on her fathers shoulder.

“Please don’t touch me.”

“Sara. You did something very brave.” Her father ambled on like he didn’t hear her “You went through a death game. Think about that. You lead the charge. You carried that team. You made… difficult choices. Ones that some people wouldn’t be able to pick, but you knew would lead your team to survival. And then, you let your comrades walk free. You helped them survive. You are a natural born leader.”

Sara shut her eyes. She didn’t want to hear that.

“Killing Kanna wasn’t brave. It was cowardly.”

“No… no, no, no. My Sara is anything but cowardly.”

As he said that, he began rubbing circles on her back. The motion was familiar. Fatherly even, but what father does this kind of thing?

“But… but because of me, Reko died… I couldn’t save the dummies… or Nao… or Kai…”

“Sara. You’re going to rise above all those people. You’re going to be something better than all of them.” He patted her back and Sara could hear the smile in his voice “You are going to be the heir to Asunaro.”

Sara felt sick. She knew that was the condition of the deal. She knew that she would never see Keiji or Gin or Sou again. She knew that she’d never go back to school or talk to Ryoko or Joe- who is Joe? Oh god, who is Joe? Where is her mom? Was she real? Was any of her life real? Was her house real? Is this name in her head real? She doesn’t know who Joe is. Is he real? Is this the only part of her life that was real? What did she give herself up for?

Too many questions at once overwhelmed her. Eyes began to water and blink back the storm that was brewing. She had sold away her entire life. So she could be the head of Asunaro. Of a criminal organization. Of the only remaining piece of her home, that she knew nothing about.

“Oh Sara…” her father’s pat on the back became a full hugging embrace, but she didn’t resist this time. He was all she had left after all. He was the only piece of her she hadn’t sold away. He was her father.

She sobbed and cried and screeched in agony as her dad shush her and said “None of that.” But there was just more of it. She cried and cried until after a while, her dad stood up.

“I’m gonna give you some time to calm down.” He said giving her a pat on the head “You’re a smart girl. You’ll figure out what’s right.”

Sara laid in bed, wiping at her eyes. Eventually a messenger came in saying she was wanted by her father to get dressed and come outside, giving instructions of which hall to follow. As he cleaned up the untouched breakfast Sara made her first request.

“Never serve me eggs benedict again, okay?”

Chapter Text

The sun was beating down hard, yet Shin Tsukimi still felt cold as he wrapped himself in a heavy jacket, a snug beanie, and a scarf he still hadn’t yet abandoned despite it really being in his best interest to do so. Maybe it wasn’t that he was clinging onto the person it was associated with anymore but the place he last saw him. Back where he met an innocent little girl he couldn’t save when she stubbornly insisted she give her life for him.

Just one of them.

He groaned, sitting down on one of the park swings so he wouldn’t be standing around as much and took out his phone to read the text messages he exchanged with Mrs. Ibushi. Meet up at the park, take care of Gin while she was busy, the usual fare. In other words, babysit. He then clicked back and scrolled through his messages and various unopened things. And his eyes landed on his messages with Keiji.

It was a one sided conversation in there. Shin would send something occasionally and Keiji would never respond. Shin hardly even liked the guy so it didn’t make sense for them to talk but apparently, Mrs Ibushi couldn’t get ahold of him either. Mr Mysterious Detective. Turned his fucking back on his kid. Really it made Shin wonder why he gave them his number.

~~~~~~~

It started when he was scrolling through job listings. When you work minimum wage, even “I got kidnapped and went through a traumatizing death game” isn’t enough to excuse your absence, and they quickly found a replacement who didn’t start crying when customers raised their voice. Whoop de doo. Congrats on him for averting 0.0%. Look at the incredible life he was living because he did so. And Ms. Sara decided his life was the important one. He just had to live on for an escape he didn’t aid in because she threw herself at the first viable option. She had to make her noble sacrifice because she just decided, easier to give up and let everyone take the easy way out. It wasn’t like she’d be missed by her precious allies, oh no. She was more useful to them as their sacrifice and a proverbial suicide wouldn’t harm anyone. Just like-

He stopped himself before he could finish that thought. Those two were not anywhere on the same level. Implying to himself that those two were anywhere close to the same made him feel like he needed a shower. Kanna was a young girl, whose unfortunate circumstances bought her to a death game where she lost a close person, and then had to put up with him manipulating her, until she foolishly sacrificed herself thinking he was worth saving. Sara Chidouin was…

…

A monster from hell. She had been blessed by the gods with an inexplicable ability to win, because she had charisma. Because everyone liked her. Because she was willing to kill a little girl much like her to escape. No matter how much she cried and smiled through the pain and gave herself up to let him leave with his life , he knew what was underneath. Any moment of vulnerability he showed towards her, any second he spent comforting her was so he could play her game. Lower her guard. Stick the knife into her back that she dodged so gracefully with one act of grace. He knew what she was.

Bringing himself back to the death game felt nauseating. He checked his email to see if any of the places he sent applications to replied to him, and his eyebrows raised when he saw a new message marked with a familiar logo and the subject reading “follow up meeting.” 

He briefly considered ignoring the message but decided it wasn’t in his best interest to do so if he wanted to continue his graduation from 0.0%. He clicked on it noting some details about a meeting for him and the survivors to discuss circumstances, what they could and couldn’t do, and to deal with the trauma, doing things like possibly setting up FREE THERAPY!!!!! Because these were the exact type of people he wanted therapy from. Not even a passing mention in the email was made to Sara Chidouin. The subject had been lightly danced around, but the girl wasn’t so much as a passing mention. Conveniently locked away in their vault and sending a clear message: you can’t speak about her at this meeting either. That made him worried for Gin, he doubted the child would be able to understand those boundaries. 

Sara Chidouin herself was… probably capable enough to handle whatever was going on herself. Even if he could lend a helping hand to her situation, why do so when she would just look down on him? She could smile her way through it. She could deal. He knew her. He saw her in action. And he had the same attitude.

God how he wishes he was at least better at lying to himself than he was to other people.

~~~~~~~

“KEIJI!”

A disgustingly pained screech fills the air as the girl pushes past the crowd of humans and dolls alike, so she can rush to the side of an already filled coffin, to grab the top and pull with all the might of a scared confused little girl. The fact that just being near it brings about suffocating heat seems to matter little to her. 

The others try to help her, giving words of encouragement and trying their hands at opening the coffin for much shorter periods before they pull their hands away hissing, but she keeps her hands on it until a boy with white hair pulls her back.

“It’s no use! It’s getting hotter and hotter! Your hands are gonna-“

“But! Keiji…! Keiji…!” She screams that name like it’s a mantra and tears are filling her eyes as she pushes against his grasp “He’s inside! He needs our help!”

Sou is pretty sure that by now he’s beyond the point of needing help. The young boy tells her that too but she refuses to listen, crawling back to the coffin on her burnt hands, screeching as she places them back on. 

It gets to the point she isn’t even pulling anymore. Just crying. Tears fall on the stone coffin, and she sobs over it.

“Do you need aid…?”

Sou’s hair stands on end when he hears that voice. The wretched man slyly walks up to the crying child, looking down at her with a hand behind his back. She looks up at him with resignation on her face.

“… Midori.”

And he takes the hand out to lay a contract in front of her, and offers a pen from his pocket.

“You might still have time you know. I’m fine either way personally.”

“… can you… save… him…?”

There is no answer, and after a good few seconds of waiting, she seizes the pen and writes her name.

It was a trick of course. Sou watches everyone screech in anger at Midori for tricking their precious leader. But it doesn’t seem like the girl cares much for everyone’s sentiments. The only thing that will make her happy is if Keiji left that coffin.

Hm… actually… considering…

He turns his gaze back to the conversation to not give away he’d been staring at the coffin. Might as well look at the center of attention. Ms Sara. Coiled in on herself. Her hands covered in burns. Looking like every word of the conversation is unknown to her now. Sou remembers for a minute the first main game when she cried and broke down for the first time. He only saw the girl who had charmed an entire room. And now, as they all yelled at Midori for tricking her, these people didn’t really see the problem here.

Fine. If he has to do it, so be it.

“Now hold on a second. Don’t you think it’s weird Ms Sara?”

She looks up at him with utter confusion (and snot and tears) which he doesn’t blame her for. Considering their relationship, he’s surprised he’s doing this for her. He just gives a cocky grin as he continues hoping that settles the atmosphere.

“Was Keiji really inside here, I wonder?” He asks giving the coffin a good kick (and trying not to cringe. His foot hurts.)

“I mean… the coffins closed meow… and even the hourglass is on top…” Gin reasons with distrust for Sou in his eyes.

“That’s what’s so strange. He got burned alive right? How could he be so docile about it?”

“True, he should’ve struggled and shouted some more I suppose…” Hinako is his first taker. 

“Did he not even have the strength for that?!”

“Nah that’s not it.” Sou puts on a smile “He escaped from out of the coffin.”

“Then he escaped the shutter?” Ranmaru asks.

“Well I can’t say about that part but this is suspicious. It all reeks of lies.” Sou smiles. 

Sara Chidouin looks up with eyes a little brighter. But someone stomps and glares at him angrily, hands balled into fists.

“Stop it! Don’t go giving half hearted hope!”

“What's got you so mad?” He asks because one of the things he’s learnt since this death game fiasco is that he has no filter whatsoever.

“I mean…!”

“Personally speaking, I can’t see Keiji kicking the bucket that easily. What about you Ms Sara?”

“… Sou…” She looks at him with unsureness that comes from talking to someone with a history like theirs “I… can’t imagine that either.”

“Ahahaha. A rare time we’re in agreement.” He smiles “So what are you gonna do? Sit there and cry yourself a salty river?”

He holds out a hand for his downed enemy.

“… No.”

She takes his hand and stands up with confidence (nearly taking her down with him. He forgot how weak he was)

“I’ll search for Keiji.”

“Sounds good to me.” He says rolling his eyes for good measure.

Ranmaru is still giving him the stink eye. And Sou is getting annoyed. What the hell is this guys problem? Would he rather see her like she was a minute ago? Some ally.

“Ranmaru. Do you not want Ms Sara to have hope?” He asks to be a little shit.

“It’s not like that… course it’s not… Let’s go look for Keiji.” He says in the most ‘I’m not bitter’ tone of voice he can muster. Sou makes a note to keep an eye on this guy when he’s around Sara.

… And then takes that note back. That was strictly a one time occasion.

~~~~~~~

He wasn’t the first one there. Keiji Shinogi sat down on the midsection of the sofa that the participants were offered, meaning Shin would have to sit next to him no matter what. Thanks Keiji. He sighed and decided to suck it up and sit next to the blonde oaf, his face scrunching up as he did. The “friendly policeman” was in desperate need of a shower.

“Ugh, you stink.” He muttered holding his scarf over his nose “Could you have at least put on deodorant before you came here?”

“… Same as ever I see.”

That struck a chord with him. Same as ever. The only version of him Keiji ever knew was the him stuck inside the death game. He knew Sou Hiyori.

“… Well call me Shin now. I’m not going by my death game alias anymore.” He said “I want to forget that whole monstrosity as quickly as possible.”

“… Hm.” Keiji looked forward. Shin didn’t know what to make of that. He studied what little he could make out of the mans expression until… “I didn’t think you’d be so quick to forget Kanna.”

He had him dead to rights. All those fucking participants who stained his hands kept him up at night but the way he danced that girl to her grave would be the true death of him more than any 0.0%.

“I’m tougher than you think.” He smiled rather than admit that to Keiji “Don’t worry about me.”

“…. Huh. I’m jealous you can move on that easily.” Keiji said. And then the conversation ended.

Eventually Gin Ibushi came in… with his mom. Crap, that’s right, he was still just a little kid. He practically tackled Keiji when he saw him before saying “Ew. You smell nasty Mr. Policeman. Take a shower meow!” And his mother fretted and floundered about. At the very least, Keiji was willing to stand up and offer his seat to the both of them which they graciously accepted.

“Oh. Can we all exchange numbers?” The woman asked sincerely.

“Oh?” Shin faked not understanding the question because he knew neither of these people wanted him in their lives.

“Sorry if it’s intrusive but…. You’re the only people who know about what happened to my baby so I want us all to keep in contact.”

Well it was hard to argue with that. They all exchanged numbers, even Shin with Keiji, and even while Gin glared from his cat shaped pillow. Shin looked over at him while his mother and Keiji conversed and saw his scared hurt eyes. Awkwardly, he tried reaching out a hand to comfort the child but he should’ve known he was unwanted.

“It’s loners fault that Big Sis Sara left!” He shouted. “I don’t want him around!”

Shin drew his hand back and resigned himself. Of course. He knew that.

“What do you mean Gin? That’s not very nice is it?” His mother asked.

“But it’s true!” Gin yelled “He was always doing bad stuff to her! And Big Sis Sara cried a lot because of him! She probably just left so he wouldn’t hurt her anymore!”

“Gin you are being very-“

“It’s fine ma’am.” Shin raised a hand feeling a little embarrassed “He’s not really saying anything inaccurate. Me and Ms Sara… didn’t get along much. And I’m an adult so I should’ve tempered myself more.”

“Wha… no you seem like a fine young-“

“He’s the worst, woof!”

“Hey, Gin, lay off him a bit.” Keiji said “Sara… had a lot of stuff factoring into her decision. Don’t put it all on him.”

“But… meow…”

Shin could see the utterly baffled look on the mother’s face. The poor woman was confused as hell. He didn’t blame her. He thought for a minute to try and give some sort of eulogy to Sara… before realizing how utterly unwelcome that would be coming from him. And thankfully before he could have any second thoughts about actually doing the damned thing, An Asunaro employee came into the room and started talking.

Oh it was complete shit pouring out of her mouth. Audacity to congratulate them, followed by a great big shush and asking just how much money they would need to keep this quiet (Shin wasn’t afraid to negotiate on that matter. They traumatized him for life, he was going to get money out of that.) and then offering them all their special services to deal with the horrible trauma that they gave them. How kind.

“But what about big sis Sara?”

Ah. Right. Shin knew that was coming. He looked to the plastic alkaline smile that the woman gave to Gin feeling worms crawl in his stomach.

“Sara Chidouin is doing very well and training to be the CEO of our company.” She said in a fashion so rehearsed he was surprised she didn’t have a hand moving her mouth “She’s very happy now. Do not worry.”

“Bullshit.” A voice said and Shin was surprised and terrified to realize it was his own.

“Hm?” The woman looked at him with a smile on her face but her eyes had a challenge in them “Is something wrong Mr Tsukimi?”

Well he dug his grave. Now he would lie in it.

“She isn’t ‘happy’. She sold herself to your boss to keep everyone’s asses out of trouble. It’s the equivalent to me if I sold myself to Hiyori.” He said “You have a lot of balls to lie and say she’s happy when you’ve imprisoned her by keeping us hostage.”

It was nice to point out that they were the hostages. They couldn’t be touched so long as they wanted Ms Sara to bend over for them.

“… I see. Please keep your commentary to yourself from now on.”

“Why should he?” Keiji leaned forward “He’s making the most sense here.”

Shin used his scarf to hide a smile. Good ol’ reliable Keiji’s lack of filter. It made everything better.

“Yes. Well can I ask you to sit and remain quiet for the rest of the meeting?” The woman asked losing patience in her little made up smile.

“No.” Keiji said “As long as I’m alive I’m going to continue fighting you bastards. You can kill me if you want, and make her realize that she took a bum deal and try to escape, and you can offer me as much money as you want to keep me down, but I’ll keep on looking in and fighting you, until a day comes that that girl is safe, and when that day comes, I’ll give her a proper apology for any wrong I’ve done to her in a way you probably would never care to do. I’ll see you around.”

It was then that Keiji stormed out and Shin was left mildly impressed but awkwardly sitting next to a concerned mother, a taken aback tyke, and a fuming asunaro employee. Oh what a wonderful rest of that meeting that was.

After the meeting wrapped up, (nothing of worth got said. Really.) and Shin finally thought he would leave for good, he was approached by the mother of Gin Ibushi sticking out her hand. “Wait. Um. Tsukimi, was it?”

“Uh… yeah, just call me Shin. I watched your child go through a death game I think first name basis is fine ahaha…” he laughed nervously shaking the outstretched hand. Really what person in their right mind would associate with him?

“Okay. Then call me Nana.” She said shaking his hand “I was wondering, could you babysit Gin sometime?”

Oh? Oh this woman was clueless. Her child hated him. He would revile the idea of babysitting from him.

“You know I don’t think I’d be too welcome…” he said with a grin.

“It’s alright! I know how he came off today but back when I first got him back he spoke highly of how you took care of a girl… Kanna was it? And how you were a lot kinder than you looked. I don’t think those were all his true feelings back there.”

If Shin were any stronger, that woman would definitely have felt his grip tighten around her hand.

“Ah. I see.”

“I would pay you. Can you consider it?”

Relying on his hush money wouldn’t be entirely wise. He needed a job and Nana Ibushi offered one.

“Certainly. I look forward to working with you.” He smiled.

“Thank you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

He had met up with Gin several times before this. It was just Keiji who had decided to turn his back the second he got the chance, even after giving away his contact information. A hollow gesture, just like everything else he did. 

Shin did go back to that image he saw of Keiji at the meeting post death game sometimes. Not only did he reek. His roots were showing, his eyebags were somehow even more prominent, and his clothes were wrinkled and disheveled. Honestly, he should’ve noticed that he looked like a wreck.

So he left the house unpresentable and cut everyone off. Boohoo Sara. Get over yourself Keiji. Everyone was-

Everyone…

Gin was also upset about Sara and look at him. He held himself higher than Keiji. He managed himself.

Shin texted Keiji the message “I’m hanging out with Gin at the park again, not like you care.” And hit send. It felt so petty. Like a “That’ll show him to be depressed” gesture. When did he get so petty? So hateful? So full of spite and rage?

Tears are in his eyes. His ears are ringing and he’s humiliated as that girl has everyone’s support even as he tells them the damning evidence. Can’t they see? Don’t they realize she’s the enemy? Why can’t they just look and see what he sees? She’s going to kill him! But with this crowd she could probably do that and nobody would cry foul. It isn’t fair. It isn’t fair that she gets their love and support and he’s on the bottom. Fighting for scraps. Because he’s 0.0. He doesn’t have a chance. She wins. He loses. That’s the order of the world. That’s when he snaps. He becomes angry. He laughs hysterically to offset the tears.

“Amazing Ms Sara! You’re a prodigy at seizing people’s hearts!”

He closed his eyes as he remembered that frankly humiliating moment. He wanted to go back and fix it. He wanted to have reached out and strangled her there. He wanted to have some sort of conclusion with Sara Chidouin, the poor victim who had everything in the world handed to her on a silver platter.

But… he supposed he’d never get that.

“Loner!” 

He looked to see Nana and Gin coming, Gin waving his paws around. Shin gave a little wave back, and stood up as Nana went over when she would be back and what Shin could and couldn’t do.

Once she left Gin jumped up and down.

“I wanna play tag!”

“Ugh… Gin you know I can’t run that well.”

“Yep. So I’m gonna win for sure meow!”

“Can’t argue with that logic.” Shin sighed “Okay Gin. The swings are a safe spot. You’re it.” He sat down on the swings again “Have fun.”

“Whaaaaaat?! Are you gonna sit there the whole time woof?!”

“I’m gonna win for sure. Meow.” He grinned cheekily.

“That’s cheating loner!” 

“I prefer to call myself a strategist.” Shin laughed.

“Grrrrr!” 

Shin continued basking in his smartass victory until Gin went behind him.

“Uh… Gin what are you-“

He was then pushed into the dirt.

“You’re it, woof!”

“Ugh… should’ve seen that coming.” He muttered watching Gin run off. Well. He had one child left he hadn’t failed.

Regardless of the number he had.

Chapter Text

There were many luxuries within the tall Asunaro building where Sara lived now and for that Sara was grateful. The people who watched over her were plenty and all of them were careful of her presence, treating her almost like royalty. She had several rooms in the facility all to herself, all the kinds of places that belonged in the mansion of someone with far too much money. Three lavish meals were served to her a day, delicious in taste, and gorgeous in appearance. The scenery and decor was nothing to sneeze at, with a modern edge to the design.

Though this could all be seen as lessened by the fact that she hadn’t been able to leave here since she first woke up here.

It took her a while to even find an exit with how big the gosh darn building was. She spent all her time looking around for a Place she could leave through when she wasn’t tuning out her “training” and found pretty much everything there was to find besides an exit, to the point that she thought she’d never find a way out but she finally saw the door to the outside, flanked by guards. When she approached the door they saw her and just gave her a gentle push telling her to go back since she wasn’t allowed out.

And that was that wasn’t it? She was here because she made a deal for the safety of the people she loved. If she disobeyed these people it’d be a death sentence for those she came here for. So she didn’t explore anymore. She sat in her room staring out the window. One could compare her to a princess in a tower, but even the princess could leave if someone rescued her. Not her though. Not if she wanted her end of the deal held up.

When she wasn’t brooding she was- well… brooding. She hardly listened to the people giving her lessons about the “companies” infrastructure just a little too lost in her own world to really let any of it sink in. She did sometimes let stuff slide through her ears, hearing about Asunaros shady business practices and what to do to be let off the hook if spotted by the police. Disgusting things. If it was a normal school she’d be taking notes like crazy and not sitting around thinking of just how much she dreaded when the “skills” she learned here would be put into use, but well. This wasn’t a normal school now was it? It was her prison.

Though she supposed she shouldn’t have gotten too lax with herself when she was the one held in captivity.

“Sara, can you come to my office later?” Her dad asked after one lesson had concluded and her so-called teacher left with a huff, “I want to talk.”

Sara nodded absently, getting a smile of approval in return. The smile… did make her feel warm in a weird way. And then she cursed herself for that warmth. What was there to feel good about with this man? Wasn’t he the one holding the keys to her containment?

“I’ll even have them serve us dinner there. Just you and me. How does that sound?”

Sara felt her warmth become a chill. Not anything more than that. Just a brief chill washing over her body. She had not eaten with her father since she first arrived at this place, and she did not know what his offer entailed. That was stupid to think though. It was just dinner with dad. Someone she’d known her entire life ( at least since he “adopted” her ). How many family dinners did they have before the death game? What was another one, albeit in another environment? It’d be nice even to spend time with him and act like things were still the same.

“That sounds wonderful. Call me in when you’re ready.”

Another smile. She felt that same feeling of calm and familiarity wash over her and this time she let it. She could handle dinner with her own father. What was there to lose?

That’s the thought that went through her head when she sat down on an uncomfortable chair that loudly CREEEEAKED and shifted under her weight, like it had a hard time being held up.

“Ah sorry about that chair sweetie.” Her dad laughed “It’s a piece of shit. It could fall over at any second.”

Sara didn’t know why he couldn’t just get a better chair if this one constantly fell over, but this was their first dinner together in a long time. Might as well not ruin it.

“Hahaha…” She forced a laugh “Yikes you need to fire the guy who bought you this chair.”

“Well you can’t blame the chair for being old.” He sighed “I’m a little attached to the thing at this point.”

“To a chair? How sentimental.” Sara mocked wondering just how long he spent in his office for that to happen “Well, anyways, where’s dinner?”

“Aw c’mon Sara. You been a Hikikomori long enough to forget what restaurants are like?” Her dad joked “This is a full experience. We wait for our food and talk! You can have a taste of the outside world!”

Don’t call me a Hikikomori. You’re the reason I’m trapped here.

“Oh! I love restaurants!”

“I remembered you do.” Her dad laughed “You always lit up when we went to one. It’s an experience.”

We rarely got to go because of your work. Who could have guessed it was this? 

“Yes indeed!” She laughed back “So, what should we talk about in the meantime?”

“Well…” her dad tapped his chin “I’d say your friends but there really isn’t anyone here you talk to. You haven’t really been seen out and about around the premises as much so that’s a no… wait! I’m coming up with something!”

He began to lean forward, just a small bit, hardly at all to any person who wasn’t paying attention, but to Sara she felt him coming closer, and she felt the grin spread to his cheeks as he said “Let’s talk about your performance at your lessons.”

Sara felt a lump beginning to form. She clutched the sides of her seat but that just made it wobble more. She had to set her feet down to keep from shaking.

“I’m not sure what you mean.” She lied avoiding his gaze.

“Really? Didn’t we establish during one of your lessons that eye contact is important while running a company? You’re already not taking those into account.”

Company was a funny word to use for a cult. But she didn’t argue. She looked her dad in the eyes, to see nothing behind them. Not anger or impatience, but not warmth and love either. They were pure business.

“You used to do so well in school Sara… what happened?”

One of the most traumatic events of my life happened.

“I’m just… having trouble adjusting.” Sara said being careful not to break her gaze no matter how much those eyes were burning a hole into her head out the back “The new environment is rough on me.”

“… Sara.” Her dad sighed “Sara, Sara, Sara. I had your word you’d do this you know. And I’ve held up my end of the bargain.”

Sara felt bugs crawling across her skin. There was a place this conversation was headed and she didn’t like it one bit. But surely it wouldn’t go there. Surely he wouldn’t. He was her dad. He just wouldn’t. A dad doesn’t do that.

A dad doesn’t put you in a death game.

“If it comes to you not putting in your half… that’s not fair to me is it? I feel like I’ve gone through on your end for nothing.” He sighed.

“I’ve done a lot.” Sara said.

“Really? It seems like all you do is lie in bed. That’s not my Sara.” Her dad frowned.

Sara had to keep herself from quivering. This wasn’t fair.

 “Gosh it’s a shame too. Gin was so young…”

“NO!” Sara had no hesitation when she heard those words. She burst from the seat slamming her hands on the table as any excuse she could think, poured from her lips “I’ll work harder I promise! I’ll put in all the extra effort! I’ll break my back, I’ll put in more hours, just please don’t hurt them!”

“Sara? I appreciate the enthusiasm but there’s no need to get hysterical.” Her dad said “Sit down, let’s talk this out like adults.”

Sara trembled. She wanted to shout more. But one wrong move and… and she didn’t want to think of what happened next. She sunk back down into her wobbly chair looking at the ground with her hands fixed on her lap.

“Sara. Eye contact.”

And thus she looked up, almost like a string was pulling her head up. And the string would have to keep her head in place. After all, didn't she want everyone to live?

“Good. Now you haven’t been taking notes during class. That’s not like you.”

She didn’t want to take notes on Asunaro business. That left her studying all the ways she would make the world a worse place.

“… I will.” 

“Really? Fantastic! How about asking questions? Can you do that more often?”

Asking questions meant answers she didn’t want. Answers about her future, the people she would hurt, the lives she would ruin-

“Okay.”

“Gosh that’s great! What else… maybe we can have some worksheets to your little curriculum! I know you’ll get an A+!”

She didn’t want an A+ in these subjects. An A+ would be a moral failing.

“That sounds like me.”

“Perfect! I think that’s all. We’ll start all this tomorrow. Oh wasn’t that easy? No need for yelling at all. Now c’mon let’s talk about something else. Any video games you’ve been playing?”

Sara did not in fact want to talk about video games right now, but if this would appease him she would gladly comply. It was refreshing to get her mind away from what they had just been speaking about with what would appear to an outsider to be just a normal father daughter conversation. Dad was even listening intently, asking questions along the way. By the time they were bought food, him and Sara were engrossed in Sara explaining her own theories about the games world, and she was able to ignore what she’d been initially called here for. At least enough not to hork anything up.

“Good night Sara. Get some rest, tomorrow is a big day!” Her dad said as she left the office and already she could feel the high wearing off. Big day. Tonight in itself felt like something huge clicked for her, something she’d never get back.

Though that happened the second she left- not even- the second she entered the death game didn’t she?

She woke up to a hearty breakfast that morning. She decided it was best to eat if she wanted to actually continue acting like she had an education in this place. It was no use just playing the defiant prisoner. Not when there were things on the line.

She did as she was instructed last night. During her lesson she took notes until her hands hurt, asked meaningless questions she didn’t even want answers to, and even filled out a worksheet they prepared that was packed with complete air and drivel. 

Her dad gave her a smile of approval afterwards, telling her that she was amazing when she just put the effort in. Her prison keeper. The man who ruined her life, telling her what a good job she was doing. Against all odds she felt good about it.

The walk back wasn’t flanked by anyone telling her to do better, or anybody trying to help her, or her dad. She was on her own, for better or for worse. She wondered what the other people here saw her as. Their beautiful insurmountable master? An object of pity? Another faceless boss? Or just the brat they had to make sure didn’t leave her tower. She hoped she never found out. Fuck them all.

The second she found her room she ran in and face planted onto her bed with her notes at her chest, only turning herself around so she could stare at the ceiling. It’s okay she told herself I did something good today . She kept her former allies out of danger again. She did a good performance. She made dad happy with her again. She was okay and she was safe.

She shouldn’t be crying.

Chapter Text

Gin and Shin learning to coexist with each other is not something that he ever expected to happen. They play video games together (a lose lose situation. When Shin holds back Gin calls him a loser, and when he doesn’t he calls him a basement dweller) laughing the whole time, make blanket forts, Shin lets the little monster into his entire snack cabinet, and it seems like Gin has come around to somehow liking the loner.

But they don’t talk about the death game. That’s a band aid that remains flaying, and whenever it’s poked at… well things happen. Let’s say Shin asks if he’s thinking about anything, and Gin will ask if Ms Sara is doing okay. Shin tries to change the subject, things happen, and then a declaration of hatred for the girl is made and then-

“It’s your fault!” Gin throws a pillow at him with tears in his eyes “Big sis Sara is gone because of you!”

Shin doesn’t speak up to defend himself. Anything out of his mouth would be an excuse and he knows it, and galvanizing the child would just be its own salt in the wound.

“She was trapped because of you meow… you made it so she had to… so you wouldn’t kill the rest of us woof…” He stood defiantly with a clear attempt not to let tears seep in, “I should’ve voted to kill you!” 

And well, Shin can’t help himself when he hears that.

“You should’ve.”

He’s then tackled, and despite the fact the kid is far smaller than him, he’s knocked down. He prepares for a series of, light punches, or yelling in his face but he gets nothing but a glare and some snot and tears on his face.

“Why did you hate us all so much, loner? What did we ever do to you, meow?” 

Shin stays silent again not out of self-degradation but confusion. He didn’t hate all of them. He hated the strong. The ones who took advantage of everyone. People like Sara. That’s why he said he hated her.

A knock on his door indicates Nana has come to pick up her kid. Crap. Seeing them in this position might raise some questions.

“I’m gonna tell mom all about what you did loner!”

Gin jumps off him and runs to the door causing Shin to yell “Wait! Gin! Augh!”

And that’s what causes him to be at a café a week later with Nana paying for his apology lunch.

“You really don’t have to do this Ms Nana.” Shin taps his fingers together looking around the cafe's nice architecture that is definitely above anything his pay grade offered. “I said some nasty stuff. Pretty much egged him on.”

“I still feel bad that he attacked you. And knocked you to the ground too! He must’ve used a lot of force to do that!” She sighed “I’m not punishing him or anything but I think maybe you shouldn’t babysit anymore.”

Shin feels his heart drop. No more getting paid in that way. Maybe it’d be better to cut his ties from the death game though. He doesn’t like the kind of person it makes him.

“Alright then. And I’m really happy you’re not punishing him. Because what happened back there isn’t his fault.”

“You’re so forgiving.” Nana smiles “I don’t know how you do it.”

I’m really not. Shin doesn’t say.

“I hope I am. That’s a good quality to have.”

Nana grinned at him and Shin sighs in relief. Thank goodness for Nana Ibushi being a complete and utter saint. Any other human being who’s around Shin Tsukimi, death game survivor, or even any version of Shin Tsukimi, would be repulsed. Even little kids know to be disgusted. Somehow even after hearing from her kid she didn’t get the memo. The person bringing their drinks probably just sees them as two friends with nothing to do with each other.

“Oh, so how’s that search for your sibling going.”

Shin takes a sip of his tea, immediately burning his tongue, and tries to blow on the drink to cool it down a few times, accidentally spilling some onto the table. He cringes at the accident, remarking a comment Hiyori would make about how clumsy he is.

“You okay?” Nana asks “You didn’t burn yourself right?”

“I’m fine.” Shin says putting the drink down “And the search is… going just about as well as looking for your long lost sibling would go.”

“Well I guess I don’t envy you in that regard.” Nana smiles. Though Shin notices a touch of sympathy to her grin. He simply shrugs it off. “Although I’ll be sure to cheer for you when you do meet them.”

“I don’t even think they’d want to meet me to be honest.” Shin says “I have a bad track record.”

“Really. You have any other siblings?”

Shin heaves a sigh and a cringe, leaning back in his chair as he looks at his cooling tea.

“It was someone I met in the death game.”

“Oh… oh I’m sorry.”

Shin picks up his tea again, the sides still warm, and tries to take another sip. 

“It wasn’t biological or anything but there was this kid… Kanna. She was pretty much the only person there who trusted me. We worked to crack a laptop together, and even talked about silly stuff like ice cream flavors of all things… mint chip tastes like toothpaste by the way. But, death game has deaths so…”

That’s not what happened, he thinks to himself. She killed her.

“I’m so sorry… I wasn’t there so I can’t say for certain, but I just want to tell you, what happened couldn’t be prevented.”

“… It could have.”

He can’t help himself again.

“Ah-“ Nana’s eyes shift uncomfortably “But I’m sure-“

“Ms Sara did it.” He looks into his reflection in the tea. He looks bitter and angry. Good. “She had an option between the two of us. An innocent child who loved her, and the right choice. And she chose Kanna. She might as well have killed her herself. I’ll never forgive her.”

“… Is this the same as Gin’s ‘big sis Sara’?”

Shin feels something inside him fold. He let himself talk and now Mrs Ibushi knew he would bitterly diss his sons hero. He nodded slowly.

“… I figured. Gin was always talking about how mean you were to her. I figured something was up with you and her.”

“Well,” Shin tries to dismiss his previous uncontrollable rage fit with a laugh “Me and Ms Sara did have a lot of arguments even before that.”

He has to learn to shut up.

“Oh?”

Well might as well see how long he can dig before he hits rock bottom.

“Well… okay. So um. Before the game started, I was shown these papers… of how much everyone’s survival rate was from simulations… and mine said… 0.0%. I was not gonna survive.” He feels awkward explaining it so casually after his grand speech in the second main game. Like he was accentuating for dramatic flare.

“Ouch.” Nana says “Did Sara show you them or something?”

“No… no, um… she didn’t…” Shin taps his fingers on the side of his drink “But uh… She was at the top of the survival rates. The only one with double digits. 15.5%.”

“Ah. Only one with double digits.” Nana said “But wasn’t she a high school girl? How was that?”

“Well um… I started crafting this theory in my head that…” he is so embarrassed, after this he is gonna crawl under a rock and die and he is not exaggerating “That she was some kind of. Super genius manipulator. And I was watching her like a hawk to see what kind of moves she would make. And then I saw some emails out of context and got knocked out and it gave me the wrong idea and it became this whole thing. So. I uh. Tried to give her the card that guarantees you die. And she didn’t take it. Which made me even more suspicious. So I gave it. To her friend.”

Nana’s eyes are wide. Shin puts his head in his hands.

“In the main game when I tried to expose her to everyone they all took her side which. Well I got really angry about that and started yelling. Really ugly stuff. She was pretty much just telling me to shut up which I think is kinda funny honestly. But um. Then her friend died. So that’s. Less funny. My fault. But we move on. Fight some more. And I try to send her that card again. But for a second we actually do get along. We try to escape and we’re working together, high fiving, having hope but it doesn’t work out, I tell her my sob story, the vote comes and she kills Kanna so I swear revenge, by any means necessary.”

He feels like a dick. He doesn’t dare mention the Joe AI to dig himself into a deeper hole.

“Did you… ever get revenge?” Nana asks cautiously.

“… Nah.” Shin says “I guess part of me came to my senses early. But after one incident I never really did much to her again.” 

“Well. That’s a relief.”

“Yeah. We actually sort of… hung out a lot after that? I don’t know. It was weird. I told her a lot of stuff and I had to really pick her up when she was down in the dumps all the time. Always me. Not sure why me and why she always accepted it. And then we found out about her dad and I was like ‘ooooooooh that makes a lot make sense.’ So yeah. I mean in retrospect I was pretty awful to her but- um… god I must sound like a fucking horrible person don’t I?”

Nana stares at him for a few seconds like she’s processing what he said. Then down at her drink like she’s trying to think of what to say. Shin is pretty sure the next words out of her mouth will be “Never mind. Pay for your own food.”

“I’m sorry. I just thought of something completely crazy.” She says, biting her lip.

“Oh yeah? What is it?”

“It’s just… in some crazy twisted way, that also sounds like a brother and sister.” She says, almost trying not to laugh.

“Excuse me?” Shin’s eyebrow goes up into the stratosphere. Did that woman not hear a word of what he just said? He will never in a million years consider a parasite like Ms Sara his sister. “Why would you think that?”

“Okay okay just hear me out.” Nana says putting out a hand “So I had an older brother too and let me tell you. He was a real jerk sometimes. We constantly roughhoused. He’d accuse me of doing something to mom and dad because I got the youngest treatment. He even made it so I couldn’t hang out with a friend anymore at our house by telling mom and dad what a bad influence she was.”

“I… I didn’t make it so she just couldn’t hang out with him.” Shin points out “I killed him.” Among other things.

“Right, right, I’m sorry, maybe that’s not an apt comparison. But I am getting the sense you two did care for each other despite hating each other’s company.” She laughs “Me and my brother, we would argue and get angry and yell how much we hated each other and wanted the other dead. But then when someone else was messing with each other, or when mom and dad were being a little too harsh with punishments, or when we really really wanted something, we had each other’s backs. Such as, and I don’t know any of what happened so I can’t say anything for certain. But maybe she chose to save your life over that other girl because she really did want you around.”

“Well then. How nice of me to try and kill her multiple times.”

“Siblings are complicated. What can I say?”

Shin’s stratosphere bound eyebrow isnow even higher. It is on the fucking moon. Tsukimi’s eyebrow on the moon. 

“You’re taking all of this phenomenally well.”

“Sorry I guess I’m trying to… rationalize it? Because you seem like a good guy. Gin did speak highly of you when I first had him back in my arms.”

That again. Shin is completely unsure of what good things Gin of all people would have to say about him.

“Gin thinks highly of everyone. There was a guy in the first main game telling everyone to vote for him and he was practically a dad to him in the end.” 

“Wow.” Nana says “I guess death game relationships are complicated. Even if you do have a familial bond it can start out rocky.”

“That’s not what I was getting at.”

“Sorry, sorry. Rationalizing again.” 

“Yeesh, Ms Nana you are literally a perfect person. Has anyone ever told you that?” 

“Uh… thank you for the compliment I suppose?” She asked “Oh look! Our food is here!”

Shin grins, rubbing his hands together for his soup. Oh this would be so warm and comforting.

“Um… is that all you’re having?”

“Yeah. Of course.” Shin said “Why?”

Shin spends that entire afternoon pacing his room, probably the most exercise he had done in a week as he remembers Nana’s words. “Ms Sara is not… a sister… what the fuck about her would make her…”

A dreadful thought then pops into his head. Ms Sara was supposedly adopted by Mr Chidouin. What if she was his biological sibling he was looking for? What if he spent all that time tormenting his real sister? What if his real sister is now the heiress of Asu Naro? What if his little sister was Kanna’s murderer? Nope nope nope, reverse key, he refused to acknowledge the possibility, if he didn’t see it it didn’t exist.

His phone then lights up with a text from Nana. Though when he reads what it said he soon rolls his eyes.

4:49

Nana: Have we ever kissed?

Shin: Gin, give your mom her phone back.

Nana: What?! How’d you know it was me?!

Shin: I hacked her phone and saw you. Now put it down.

Nana: You hacked it?! I’m gonna tell her! Then she won’t kiss you ever again!

Shin: We haven’t kissed. We are not going to kiss. Your mother is married.

Nana: Mya… I guess I would prefer you over my dad. Just a little though.

Shin: I am not looking to become your step dad. Stop that.

Nana: Please? Then I wouldn’t have to deal with alcojjhikopppp

Nana: Shin I’m so sorry. 

Shin: Don’t worry. I don’t mind the antics.

Nana: Well, he’s been curious. Thinks we’re dating.

Shin: Gross.

He then regrets every decision he ever made as he hits send. You don’t just say that. C’mon. What’s wrong with you. He begins typing up a lengthy apology especially when he sees Nana’s typing bubble but then he is shocked by her response.

Nana: I will have to agree. I wouldn’t date someone who eats soup for a meal in a million years. Until next time, good friend.

Shin looks at the message. He tries to type up a rebuttal but… nothing. Wow. He got his ass handed to him. He recalls Hiyori a little bit. He liked to claim he was the only person who would want Shin around. Guess Nana isn’t willing to go that far. Maybe that’s the relief he needed after the death game.

Shin: I take offense to that. As a survivor from a death game the penalty for hurting my feelings is 10,000 yen.

He’s left on read. After a while of staring at his phone he has to accept that he got punked. Groaning, he decides to text somebody else.

4:57

Shin: Do you think me and Sara were like siblings?

Shin: /Delete

Shin: Deletemessage

Shin: messagedelete 

Shin: ‘Do you think me and Sara were like siblings?’ /Delete

Shin: Why are none of the online tutorials for deleting messages working.

Shin: Fuck. You read them.

Shin: I hate you.

Shin: You stink.

Shin: You’re ugly.

Shin: I’m gonna keep insulting you till you respond.

Shin: You’re stupid.

Shin: You’re a pig.

Shin: You killed Kanna.

Shin: You convinced Sara to kill Kanna.

Shin: Why did Sara trust you anyways?

Shin: I get why you went behind her. She was the leader. Getting her trust was vital to your survival. But why did she ever trust someone like you?

Shin: You were suspicious from the start. Even Joe thought you were bad news. Then you went ahead and took her under your arm and she cried like a baby when she thought you were in danger.

Shin: Can’t believe you convinced her to believe in no good scum like you. I think you even became a replacement father for Meister. Like trading shit for trash. 

Shin: You were terrible to her. I know you let her take the sacrifice. You didn’t deserve an ounce of her trust. You don’t deserve anything. You’re an awful person.

6:33

Shin: I’m sorry, that was mean.

Shin: Please respond to this if you’re okay.

Shin: Okay. You read it. Good enough.

Shin: I was just talking about myself there. 

Shin: I don’t get why Kanna trusted me either. She shouldn’t have. But she did. And I did that to her.

Shin: I don’t know what happened between you and Sara. I certainly wasn’t friends with her. And definitely not a brother. I wasn’t a brother to Kanna either. If you were some father figure to Sara I don’t know what happened to make that come true. And it’s not my right. And I shouldn’t yell at you.

Shin: Text. You know what I mean.

Shin: You should talk to Gin. That kid misses you.

Shin: I still hate you. And I probably will until the day I die. But Sara probably wouldn’t want you to just sit around ignoring him while you feel sorry for yourself with your new freedom.

Shin watches a typing bubble appear and dissapear. He sighs throwing his phone aside. Let it be known that he tried. 

He does get to see Nana more after that so he knows for certain that Keiji did not contact her telling her what a fucking dick he was. She’s no longer paying for him which was a bummer and a half but maybe he can get more free stuff if he gets beat up again by her grandma this time. She finds that joke hilarious. 

She’ll also sometimes help with the search for his sibling. He mostly does it on his own, since he likes the idea of accomplishing something by himself. Besides he doesn’t know if Nana would approve or know how to hack into birth records.

“Why haven’t you asked your parents?” Nana asks, almost inevitably at one meeting where they get boba “They would probably know where to start looking.”

“My parents…” Shin sighs “You know, to be honest, I haven’t spoken to them once since getting out of the death game. This would probably be a really bad time to bring up that I eavesdropped on them one time and also defied death and lost my job without telling them.”

“You didn’t tell your parents?” Nana furrows her eyebrows “I can’t imagine that…”

“Ha. Yeah. They have always been the doting types. I guess I’m just mad they’ll explode at me like always.” Shin pats his thighs “They spoil me a lot but they can get really mean when they’re angry at me. And they get angry a lot.”

“Ah… I see.” Nana leans back “Sometimes I wonder if I’m getting too angry at Tatsuya.”

“Tatsuya…?”

“My husband.” Nana explains “I tend to just. Not be able to take it when he comes home drunk anymore. He’s been doing it even more so since Gin dissapeared. And I know that’s from the stress of his son dissapearing but I’m stressed too and I just… I always snap at him. I don’t hit him or anything but I really let him have it and it’s just. He doesn’t deserve that.”

Shin feels his fists ball up.

You have nothing to be sorry for. Some wretch acting out and you not being able to take it is nothing to be sorry for. You should be mad more often. Mad at me. I ruined people’s lives. That man is ruining your life. The best thing to do is take your perfect little son and go.

“I guarantee whatever you have said to your husband isn’t as bad as what my parents have said to me.” He says instead.

“Wow. That bad?”

“It’s a matter of scale. Wife vs Ugly Husband or Parents vs Adorable Kid.”

“Wow. Full of ourselves aren’t we Mr. 5 out of 10?” Nana grins “You haven’t even seen Tatsuya. How do you know he’s ugly?”

“I used my ugly detector.”

“What if I told Tatsuya all you said?”

“You already give him shit. Tell him what I said. I dare you.”

“Shin, you are a devil.”

“Ah, can’t help myself.”

His search continues without contacting his parents. They don’t need to know. He’ll probably find his sibling and say he’s an orphan. Will that work? He is poor enough. That’s sad. He looks at the contact for his parents and then simply ignores it.

He searches through files, and files for matches and birth records and local hospitals to where he lived and far off ones since he didn’t know about the baby, and he searches orphanages (specifically asunaro. Those fuckers probably have his sibling.) and one night he finds a lead.

He works into the night cracking into a hospitals code for all the birth records under one day. His eyes are tired and the screen is giving him a headache but he does it. He finds a file with a name he wishes he hadn’t seen. He finds a file and wishes it was stricken from existence and he wishes it burned with him in it as well.

Kanna Tsukimi.

His sister's name was Kanna Tsukimi. She’d be 14 years old by now. She was sent to the Asunaro orphanage. She had blue eyes and green hair. She had been adopted.

Well? That was his answer. He worked so hard. Wasn’t he happy? He got it. He had everything put in place. He got to know his stuff. His genius hacker skills taught him about his family. And what a family it was. A dead family. His sister is dead.

His sister is dead. He was given the opportunity to meet his sister and she was taken from him. Ripped from his arms. Murdered. They killed his sister in front of him to use his skills. 

His sister is dead. He killed her. He cruelly and maliciously teased her along, letting her die of his own venomous words. She trusted him and he put the knife in her back. Who knows what he would’ve done if he had been able to use this information to control her.

Hiyori… you’re like a brother to me.

He throws his laptop across the room screeching his lungs out. He doesn’t stop screaming after that. He leans into himself on the bed just screaming, agony in his voice, anger flaring through his bloodstream. 

Kanna… forgive me… I couldn’t avenge you… I couldn’t…

“That’s not it though.” A hand on his wrist startles him and he looked to see… flowers. Flowers and blood. Flowers and blood covering a little girls face. “You did this to Kanna.”

Shin does a double take. When he looks back nobody is there and his wrist was just being tickled by his scarf.

“What the hell was that…” He breathes in. He did overhear Keiji talking about hallucinations him and Sara had when he tried to eavesdrop on the larger man. Was that what that was? 

“Okay Shin breathe…” He exhales. So this was a symptom that… they had. Keiji and Sara. Shin thinks back angrily. To think for a second he believed Sara to be like a sister. She was a sister killer. She killed Kanna then ran away. Was that her justice? Her way of making things better? Her goody two shoes plan? Look at her illiciting his sympathy. Thinking she did something heroic. Thinking suffering in silence for the rest of her life would make him forgive her. He won’t. Not ever. Fuck Sara Chidouin. Fuck her and her teenage angst.

Nana: Would you like to go to the park tommorow? I want to feed birds.

Shin looks at the text. He really isn’t up to it. Well, understatement of the century. He would rather be run over by a compactor truck than ever leave the house again. Explaining why though, especially over text might be irksome. He’ll just die in his cave alone. He has asunaros hush money to keep him occupied.

Shin: Sorry. I came down with a fever. 

There. He throws himself onto the bed. Maybe if he closes his eyes and slept forever he’ll see Kanna. But then again he’d never be allowed to go where Kanna went.

The next day, he wakes up and sees Gin looking over his bedside.

“GAH!” He instinctively shoots out a hand to swat the child “What the fuck are you doing in my house?!”

“Mom wanted to come over cause you’re sick meow! I wanted to join woof!” Gin says “I can tell you don’t actually have a fever though meow. Must’ve just wanted moms warm sick time love woof.”

“Ew.” Shin says “Stop implying me and your mom are romantically involved. I would rather die.”

“Hm… okay meow! I’ll look through your stuff then woof!” Gin smiles mischievously.

“Wait no, I take it back!”

“Ooooooh your laptop! Lots of embarrassing stuff must be stored on here meow!” Gin sing songs “Like high school pictures meow! Or old fan fiction woof!”

Why did the furball have to jump straight for that?! Shin decides the best stance to take in this time is neutrality.

“Oooooh your face is really red. I guess I hit the jackpot meow.” Gin says “And you even have your password on a sticky note on the side. SouperSoupySoup. I’m in!” 

Fuck. Why did he have to put the password note on the side for the easiest to remember password in the… why did he have to… god no. No no no. Gin’s gonna see it. Gin’s gonna…

“Loner… is this about bucket girl meow?” Gin’s voice comes out quiet. It’s a sad sad voice, unlike the teasing one, now sounding like the child has stepped into a funeral.

Shin sighs looking at the door to make sure Nana isn’t close.

“I… think so.” Shin says “I think she’s my long lost sister.”

Gin hugs his cat shaped pillow close. It makes Shin remember that he voted for Kanna too. Just a kid. Just like her. 

“Do you… really hate us all that much woof?”

That again. Shin doesn’t like to think back to the death game. It was too much agony, too much pain. Too much of him being a god awful person. But the him now is god awful too.

“I… I don’t know.” Shin says “I just. Hated how everyone was clinging on and worshipping Ms Sara so much. Hated how she was never wrong. And hated how even Kanna was willing to die for her. And hated how you all were willing to let her.”

“… Well I didn’t hate you meow.” Gin says “I tried to. But I couldn’t. You were always a little too open woof. I called you honest to a fault the first time you introduced yourself. I think you were just letting everyone know what a chump you were. But I didn’t hate you, meow. So I couldn’t just kill you.”

Shin doesn’t really know what to say that. He tries some times to find the words but… he can’t.

“Big sis Sara was trying really hard for everyone… and everyone wanted her to do her best and help them escape… so I think she also thought she had to vote for bucket girl meow…” Gin continues “I think that’s why she gave herself up too. Because she wanted us to live woof.”

“I don’t want to be alive.” Shin says. Somehow saying that aloud feels like a weight off his chest. A feeling in himself that he harbored since the death of Kanna but never expressed. But saying it just puts an extra weight on his lungs. He feels his breathing speed up. Tears fills his eyes. “I should’ve died. What do I have to live for?”

And to that Gin stands up and wraps two pawed arms around him.

“I want you to be alive, loner.” He says “And it’s not your fault Big Sis Sara left. She did it because she loved us.”

Shin feels himself break. Why this? Why would he be given this chance? He breaks down thinking of tormenting a girl and she sacrificed herself for him. Because she loved him. Is that just what he does with his siblings? Hurt and threw them against the wall until they decide they’re only good enough to give themself to unspeakable fates?

“Today, Shin ran towards me with a carefree smile and said “Good morning!”” Kurumada read aloud “What is this?”

“Gin?” Nana looks in “What’s going on here? Shin is bawling like an infant.”

“I’m helping out!” Gin smiles “Me and loner made up!”

“Really.” Nana put her hands on her hips. 

Shin wiped his nose. How humiliating. He would have to explain himself.

“Hey. Sorry about the trouble Nana.” He shrugged hoping not to sound congested or teary “I… I’m okay.”

“Mom. I want loner to babysit me again.” Gin said. “Please?”

“You… really.” Nana said “Shin? Are you okay with this?”

“… I will, on one condition.” Shin said “Gin. Put yourself first. Always.”

Chapter Text

“Nothing.” Sara kicked the drawer closed, a pouty look creeping onto her face and highlighting her childish side despite the attempt to keep her demeanor serious. Keiji had to rub the back of his neck.

“Well, how about you go to sleep?” He smiled motioning to the bed in the room “You aren’t gonna find anything new here when you’re sleep deprived.”

“But what about the main game? We just ended the sub game so it’s gonna start soon.” She stood, feet rooted to the ground, a show of defiance to the idea of resting herself in this situation. Always the type who needed persuasion. 

“We’ve got a whole night ahead of us. So.” Keiji felt himself grin as he pictured something reeeeally funny and took Sara over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes.

“Gah! Keiji!” She punched his backside “Put me down! I’m gonna kill you!”

Despite her protests he could hear her try not to laugh. That was a good sign, he supposed. He started whistling as he walked to the bed in the middle, stopping his off key tune once he felt a chuckle arise.

“Sorry. Mr. Policeman is enforcing a curfew.”

“Ugh. You never take anything seriously.”

“Uh-huh.” Keiji laid her down across the bed as careful as he could without accidentally dropping her “Well I take sleep seriously.”

“Those eyebags say otherwise.”

Keiji coughed into his fist. That one cut a little deeper than she knew. Better to change the subject than dwell.

“Listen, Sara. After today. Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” She asked calmly.

Maybe because he faked his death. Maybe because of the banquet. Maybe because, right in front of his eyes, she was knocked out by someone she trusted and then that person went on a murder spree. 

He still could hear the panic in her voice as she approached him. It was purely her voice. Not a leader. Just some scared little girl. Scared for Keiji Shinogi of all people. But he never had a chance of protecting her. She fell into his arms and all he could do was scream, and turn his back on the enemy too. That’s how he got knocked out and separated again.

But yeah. Why wouldn’t she be? She had trained herself to be the leader they needed. Just like he said she was from the beginning.

“I just…” he rubbed his neck “Well. The banquet seemed pretty hard.”

Sara turned to her side, rubbing her hand.

“The dummies… Anzu, Mai, Hayasaka, Kurumada, Hinako, even Ranmaru….. I wanted them to live and escape with us. To get back to normal lives.” 

Keiji decided to leave his foul words for Ranmaru- best not speak ill of the dead twice over- aside to speak some reassurance.

“The dummies… the game masters probably meant for them to die from the start. You shouldn’t blame yourself for the game just going how they made it too.”

“But… they expect the rest of us to die off one by one too.” Sara said “I’m supposed to just accept that?”

Ah. Right. Maybe not the best advice to say that their fate was inevitable and unstoppable.

“We’ll find a way out. Soon enough, it’s gonna be your real dad wishing you good night.”

She stayed quiet for a short bit. His answer was pretty lame after all. It was all he had but… he should have done better. He never had the right words did he?

“Will I still be able to see you?” Sara asked looking up at him with large bright eyes. Keiji was once again reminded that this was a child he was speaking to, and she… she had hope in her eyes as she said her plea. Keiji definitely wouldn’t break it.

“Yeah. I’ll see you around.” He smiled. “So much you’ll get sick of me.”

That prompted her to sit up and hug him. Keiji actually did not expect that. He sort of thought it was an attack at first. But nah. Just a hug. Heh. 

“Yeah, yeah, I get it.” He patted her on the back “You’re gonna go home. You’re gonna continue life. Someday you’re gonna be a… what do you wanna be when you’re older?”

“Oh. Um… I don’t have any options so far.” She muttered almost like she was trying not to let him hear it. If she wasn’t next to his ear he probably wouldn’t.

“Really? I pegged you the studious type, with that big brain.”

“I am! It’s just… dad always told me to aim higher when I pitched a career to him. So I never settled on anything. It’s embarrassing, I get it.”

Well that was… huh. Keiji wouldn’t know what to say to that, so he chose to say nothing. Instead he said:

“Well hey, I know a few bad careers. Whatever you pick should be fine.”

“Oh my god. You did not just say that.”

“Mr Policeman can tell a few jokes about his ex career.” He said, punctuated by a few noises that sounded like Sara trying not to laugh “Cmon. If you could just aim at any spot you would like, what would you like to pick?”

“I would… I’d want to be a fashion designer.” She said.

“Sounds good. I approve.” He shrugged letting go “Now, why don’t you go to sleep?”

“Um… actually. Keiji?” She folded her hands “Can you stay with me until I fall asleep?”

That meant a few things. Trusting someone to be alone with you when you were asleep and vulnerable. Letting someone be in your room in a time where you couldn’t stop them from rummaging. Wanting someone’s presence while you were in the dark of the night scared and wanting a proverbial nightlight.

“Sure thing. Mr Policeman will fight all the bad guys who come in here.”

“Ugh.” She shimmied under the covers rolling her eyes, but there was a smile on her face “Thank you.”

“… Yeah.” Keiji went to sit on one of the chairs in the room. “Of course.”

As the lights in the room went out and Sara laid still, Keiji started wondering if he should be counting the minutes. Or if that would be rude. Would that be rude if the kid couldn’t hear it?

“Sara? You still with me?”

No response.

Keiji lifted himself out of the chair, and made sure his steps were quiet so he wouldn’t wake the girl. Leaving the dark room to the bright hallway, the cold colored but still brightly toned clothing of a certain loner stood out as he leaned against the wall.

“Ah, Sou.” Keiji closed the door gently, looking the resident troublemaker up and down “I didn’t expect to see you eavesdropping.”

Sou’s eyes turned to ice as he viewed Keiji, pulling his scarf up to cover his mouth.

“Sorry. I just find your power plays endlessly fascinating Keiji.” He said “Playing house with Ms Sara. Acting like the better parent. Oh, you love that ‘friendly policeman’ archetype don’t you?”

Keiji could easily tell that wasn’t the reason he was here. After Midori’s death, and with Sou’s whole… thing with him, he had his doubts that he was sleeping easily. Spying on his most hated pair no matter how long or boring was probably just his way of catharsis and keeping himself up.

“If you want to read shadows into everything, go ahead.” He shrugged, “That’s worked out so well for you before.”

Sou pulled down his scarf to show a toothy scowl with a “tch.” As he looked up at Keiji’s form towering over him.

“Why shouldn’t I see shadows in the people who murdered an innocent little girl?” He demanded “Ah yes, my bestest friends. The one who’s killed two people and the teenage girl who has him on a leash. I should be more trusting.”

The words were definitely poison tipped and meant to slice the skin. Keiji wouldn’t exactly describe himself as thick skinned. More like he was hard to shake. When you already thought the worst about yourself, comments didn’t break you.

“It’s hard to justify yourself with that rhetoric. I can tell you’re less than trustworthy Sou.”

“Oh?” Sou’s expression became unreadable, even without the scarf covering his expression “Do tell.”

“Well, there’s the Joe AI you set up.”

That placed more fear into the expression, as Sou looked away, glaring holes into the ground.

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Really? Because I don’t think anyone else here had the means of setting up such a thing. And well, when I got to her he was saying some familiar things.”

Sou’s expression turned fiery.

“‘Willing to sacrifice the weak. Anyone will do right Sara? Even if they care about you. Even over the ones you should care less about.’”

“That’s just conjecture. It doesn’t prove anything.” Sou said “Try coming back to me with some evidence pig.”

“Huh. Funny. I thought you didn’t know what I was talking about.”

Sou bared his teeth. Keiji continued.

“You think Reko set it up? Endlessly sisterly Reko? Maybe Qtaro, who doesn’t know how to use a computer? How about Gin? 12? I think process of elimination is fair game here.” He said “There’s no proof so I can’t do anything I admit, but if I had to pick a suspect, you’re at the top of my list.”

Sou scoffed turning his eyes away again and gritting his teeth. Probably annoyed that trying to provoke someone didn’t pan out the way he hoped. Maybe there was a pang of guilt to be found of that. He came to mourn… or perhaps do whatever you do with a person like Midori. Keiji probably didn’t have to stretch the wound by interrogating him.

But then he looked up, with a grin. Confident, relaxed, and smiling. Keiji braced himself.

“And what if I did make that Joe AI huh? What if you did pull some fancy evidence out of that endless brain of yours to prove me guilty?” He tilted his head, throwing his scarf behind his back “We all know that’s not what this is about Keiji.”

Just as he thought. Another mind game. Sou might not be the most skilled player of chess, but Keiji had been privy to a few moments where he was confident in his abilities to twist the truth and make things worse. He would watch his step here.

“Oh? Then what is it then? Enlighten me.”

Sou’s eyes fell into a pointed glare, but his mouth remained smiling. He had his hands behind his back, nowhere close to the scarf on his face, to lean close to him and spit out his next words.

“We both know that if Ms Sara was as useful to you as Kanna, you’d throw her to the wolves in a heartbeat.” He hissed “In fact, you already did do that with your little sacrifice play didn’t you?”

It was another poison tipped dagger. Another slice at his skin, to draw blood from a person who didn’t care much for bleeding but somehow, the mention of a girl who he had known for days hit a sensitive spot. A place in him that he didn’t want to think about. That made the grin on Sou’s face expand.

“You put on such a great spectacle with the keymaster. You bought the groups villain to his knees while distracting everyone from the fact you left your dear Ms Sara to die. Even she didn’t notice. Your skills are impeccable. You really are a skilled manipulator.” As he spoke, Keiji didn’t speak up once to defend himself. He knew there was nothing to say. “So don’t come to me and say you wanna threaten me because it’s for Ms Sara’s sake or whatever. It’s for you . It’s always been for you .”

Once Sou finished, he had a grand facsimile smile. Like he wanted Keiji to come back from this one.

“… Are you done?”

“What?” That response seemed to wipe the smirk off his face in an instant. It’s a wonder what no reaction can do when dealing with someone obnoxious. It was the rule they taught in school for dealing with bullies that never worked but was good for a laugh sometimes.

“I’m going to bed.” He walked past him “See you in the morning.”

Going to bed he realized he had something in common with Sou. He wasn’t getting much sleep that night.

~~~~

He wasn’t sleeping much tonight either. Sleep hadn’t come to him easy at all in these past few years. Though now the eye bags were growing larger. Now he had plenty more to keep him up at night.

“Keiji…” He heard a voice that sounded a lot like how he remembered Sara, but who can say from the little time they knew each other “I’m scared… I thought you were going to visit me.”

He ignored it. It was just a hallucination. It wasn’t real. He’d dealt with Mr Policeman for years, he could deal with her.

“Did you lie to me? Like with everything else?” She asked “Did you just want me to give myself up from the start?”

“Yes Keiji. I’m sure I taught you to protect people. But look at what you’ve become.”

Keiji pressed the pillow harder against his head, despite knowing that sounds from his own mind couldn’t be drowned out. He could shoot for at least being able to keep his eyes closed.

In the morning he was pretty sure he got what? 3 hours? Well, better than none. He peeled himself off his sweaty mattress to brew himself some instant coffee. Once the gurgling groaning sound of the machine told him it was in process, he went to the computer where a pile of slightly disorganized papers he’d been collecting sat.

“Maybe I should organize this into a board.” He thought aloud, snickering in amusement at the idea of a conspiracy board tied together with string on a secret cult made out of a medical company. That sort of thing had been used as shorthand in the detective shows he watched as a kid before realizing what hunks of propaganda and junk they were to show that some guy was a nut who had gone off the deep end. He honestly would be tempted to call himself crazy and that his hallucinations finally broke him with his sorry mental state. 

That is, if it weren’t for one annoying contact in his phone who never left him alone.

As if just thinking about that person summoned him, his phone buzzed with a message.

Sou: I saw a YouTube video where someone makes shampoo out of piss. It made me think of you.

Sou: Asshole.

Keiji swiped to check the messages, confirming he read them. Then he continued his work.

It was most likely a derogatory comment about his hair. Speaking of, his roots were beginning to show again. Though did he really want to go through the effort of dying it again? Dying it would take time, time he could be spending on his Asunaro take down quest.

“Quest”. Wasn’t that a funny word for it?

It wasn’t like he was expecting himself to actually break into Asunaro, destroy it, and take Sara Chidouin to a foster home with a loving family. It was more a slavish devotion to his own repentance, to spend however long the rest of his life was shackled to the idea he could fix things if he just tried. It’d probably be a short life seeing how much surveillance Asunaro had over him, but he wasn’t using it for much anyways.

Oh hey. The coffee was done.

As Keiji went to get his hot beverage that would keep him up for the duration of today’s schedule he heard his phone ping with another annoying message.

Sou: Purple is probably better.

Keiji stared at the message, puzzled for quite a while. Most of his texts from this number were overly hostile, telling him he was worthless, a jackass, and that Gin liked him more now. Was he really offering him fashion advice? Sou was offering him fashion advice. That outfit in the game looked unfashionable and gaudy at the same time. He recalled Sara saying ‘ it’s a crime for a grown man to get up and dress himself like that .’ Keiji was almost tempted to write a response to this one.

Sou: I meant to send that to Gin. Fuck you.

Ah, so. Keiji shrugged, making sure to leave Sou on read. Now, his research.

He let out a little sigh as he clicked in keys and stared at the computer screen, looking for names like “Emiri Kisaki.” And “Michiru Namida.” Because “Sara Chidouin” had gotten him no sort of files, birth records or information at all when he checked. Either they were really quick to sweep her information away, or they simply chose not to leave traces of their future heiress while she was out experiencing the false world they constructed.

He wondered what she was experiencing often. He tried not to, since he was pretty sure it encouraged the hallucination, but when working on this, it was an inevitability. If her dad was willing to put her into a death game to shape her into Asunaro’s heiress, he shuddered to think of what he did now that she was where he wanted. A brief flash of a young naive person holding a smoking gun but there was a young girl holding it instead…

He shook his head and began to down some of his coffee. Lack of sleep was making him depressed. Find some leads why don’t you?

He did manage to find the lab Miley and Safalin worked at prior to Asunaro. It’d be a long trip though. Probably need next month's paycheck for that. He sighed, writing down the address and posted it on the fridge, noticing from the clock that was 4 hours slow that it was about time he had lunch. And considering that he skipped breakfast he should indulge.

He opened up, looking at the contents. There was an egg carton with two eggs left (and he dared not to try and make eggs again after the last attempt. In fact- how old were those-) some celery sticks and a Taco Bell bag from last week. Keiji took the Taco Bell bag and sniffed it. It smelled foul.

Well whatever. He didn’t want to waste leftovers. If he ate it and it came back up, that would be a problem for future Keiji.

Except it did not come up. The opposite direction actually. Keiji did not know what he expected. But here he was clutching the toilet seat for dear life as way more than he was pretty sure he ate in the last week came out of him.

Sou: Help. I’m with Gin’s mom, and when she went to pick him up he asked me if I’m dating her.

Keiji did not hesitate leaving that message on read.

Once he was absolutely sure he wouldn’t need to run to the toilet anymore, Keiji did something he hadn’t done in two weeks. He left the house.

No it was not to do anything special. It was for basic things like work, and supplies. Specifically in this situation, he went to the grocery store. He wasn’t desperate enough for those pre death game eggs yet. First thing he did at the store? Beeline for the frozen foods.

Lean Cuisine, Mean Cuisine, Kids cuisine, and then he went to get some bowl noodles. Those things could outlast the heat death of the universe. Next some cereal. He picked Raisin Bran. It’s healthy. 

He did go to the section where he bought his hair dye from usually, looking at his usual box. The results it produced looked nothing alike of course, and it usually burnt his scalp. Still, in a way it had become a routine for him. A sacred ritual for the new him.

But it took time. And effort. And money that was going to be used for a trip to a lab. He didn’t want to waste any of it. He left it on the shelf.

The cashier gave him an odd look as she scanned the multitude of body destroying frozen foods and noodles, and looked to his muscle toned torso. Was it really that unusual that Keiji worked out to stave off depression? He simply flashed her a smile and she looked back at the groceries shaking her head and he made it out of it.

Until on his walk one of the bags ripped and he had to balance the contents on one of his legs in a way that got even more people staring. 

He just tried to think of absolutely nothing for a while. The only thing on his mind was the groceries. He made it home with all his food, and proceeded to drop the broken bag on the ground. Time to unpack these babies.

He started with the broken bag, his tormentor. Most of its contents went in the freezer. Then the bag full of his bowl noodles. Then his Raisin Bran which was accompanied by… a magazine.

It was weird since he didn’t really get magazines most of the time. He just picked it up on his way to the register because the picture on the cover caught his eye. But looking closer, he imagined this kind of outfit was the one Sara would like. She had mentioned being a fashion designer. He hadn’t seen any of her work… a fashion designer… after a whole day of running on auto pilot he thought of Sara, constantly hard working and acting braver than most kids, saying she wanted to be a fashion designer.

“It’s a crime for a grown man to get up and dress himself like that.” 

Keiji laughed to himself, wiping his face with a hand.

“She liked fashion. And clothes.” He groaned rubbing his hand down his face “And I never noticed.”

If she was more in her element would she talk about clothes? About the punk outfit Reko was wearing? The lolita dress Mai had? Joe had that incredibly gaudy gyaru get up… the uniforms of Sonobeno were out there in the first place… Why didn’t he ask her about that? Why did he make her solve their damn puzzles? He was so fucking selfish.

His phone pinged with a message. Sou. Keiji knew that Sou wasn’t going to provide an answer to any of his predicaments. He was too much of a shitbag. But he did not expect the message he did get.

Sou: Do you think me and Sara were like siblings?

Keiji was almost flabbergasted at the proposition. Sou didn’t get along with Sara at all right? He was intent on terrorizing a child (sounds familiar) to the end. To suggest a family bond… the idea they might be connected… if he thought that for her and himself what exactly did… what was…

Sou : /Delete

Sou : Deletemessage

Sou : messagedelete 

Sou : ‘Do you think me and Sara were like siblings?’ /Delete

Sou : Why are none of the online tutorials for deleting messages working.

Keiji decided this was the time to leave the blue haired man on read. If he couldn’t delete the messages, chances were, no one could.

Sou : Fuck. You read them.

Sou : I hate you.

Sou : You stink.

Sou: You’re ugly.

Sou : I’m gonna keep insulting you till you respond.

Typical Sou behavior. At least things were back on track so Keiji didn’t have to deal with icky feelings.

Sou : You’re stupid.

Sou : You’re a pig.

Sou : You killed Kanna.

The last one hit like a freight train. While Sou had been quick to insult him in the messages he sent Kanna was a topic that went largely unspoken. To see it being used so… casually felt like a punch in the stomach. That couldn’t possibly prepare him for what came next though.

Sou: You convinced Sara to kill Kanna.

His hands shook. Because Sou was not in any way wrong about him. Sara as she was in the beginning of the game was a normal high school girl who would obviously let the little girl survive. She put the group first. Because he had planted it in her to do so. Even if she loved that girl. 

Sou: Why did Sara trust you anyways?

Sou : I get why you went behind her. She was the leader. Getting her trust was vital to your survival. But why did she ever trust someone like you?

Sou : You were suspicious from the start. Even Joe thought you were bad news. Then you went ahead and took her under your arm and she cried like a baby when she thought you were in danger.

Sou : Can’t believe you convinced her to believe in no good scum like you. I think you even became a replacement father for Meister. Like trading shit for trash. 

Sou : You were terrible to her. I know you let her take the sacrifice. You didn’t deserve an ounce of her trust. You don’t deserve anything. You’re an awful person.

Sou had sent him messages but his messages over text were light. Petty. None of his poison darts from the death game. But it seemed like he’d bought back his fury in full force. Keiji knew all of this. He constantly thought of it about himself. In a way it was no worse than what he thought. But seeing it written out and having it reminded to him was so sobering. Like having ice water poured over him. He couldn’t keep shambling. Couldn’t keep going to the grocery store to buy meaningless food to sustain a body that wouldn’t do much. Couldn’t maintain a job at a corner store that didn’t even pay much. He couldn’t do it.

He just sat there waiting for the next stream of abuse to come in. Even as his phone screen darkened he couldn’t look away from it. Just waited.

It came 2 hours later. 

Sou : I’m sorry, that was mean.

Sou : Please respond to this if you’re okay.

Keiji had seen petty insults and updates about his life and pictures of Gin from Shin’s texts to him, but he had not seen genuine concern. Hesitantly, he opened the message.

Sou : Okay. You read it. Good enough.

Sou : I was just talking about myself there. 

Had Sou just forgotten everything? All that was true wasn’t it? He didn’t want another person putting more stock in him being a good person than he deserved.

Sou : I don’t get why Kanna trusted me either. She shouldn’t have. But she did. And I did that to her.

Keiji blinked at that message a few times. Sou, justifying every action as the missionary of Kanna. Admitting he did that to her. Not Keiji. Him. He was starting to think he’d fallen into another dimension before he saw the next message.

Sou: I don’t know what happened between you and Sara. I certainly wasn’t friends with her. And definitely not a brother. I wasn’t a brother to Kanna either. If you were some father figure to Sara I don’t know what happened to make that come true. And it’s not my right. And I shouldn’t yell at you.

So that’s what it was. A way to say he didn’t know anything like Keiji didn’t. An admittance of guilt. An outsider looking in.

“Playing house with Ms Sara. Acting like the better parent. Oh, you love that ‘friendly policeman’ archetype don’t you?”

Better parent… hah.

Sou:  Text. You know what I mean.

Sou : You should talk to Gin. That kid misses you.

Sou : I still hate you. And I probably will until the day I die. But Sara probably wouldn’t want you to just sit around ignoring him while you feel sorry for yourself with your new freedom.

Keiji cluthched the phone. What Sara wanted. He had betrayed that girl, time and time again for his own purposes, and she left them all just so he could have a chance to walk in the sunlight again. She walked through the pits of hell, and all she wanted was for him to be happy. For once in his life, he could leave what he had behind so she could at least be at peace.

But then as he said that he looked at his desk. His growing files against Asunaro and the planned trip to the lab. The fact she was probably alone and scared, with nobody but Asunaro, hoisting her by the strings to make her dance.

Keiji: I’m sorry. But I have to protect her just this once.

After he typed that message he swiftly deleted it. He didn’t want to face any more lecturing that could talk him out of this idea. He didn’t want to turn from reality and ignore Sara’s plight. He wanted to save her dammit. Every day, every hour, every single minute he thought of the massive debt he owed to her. He thought of how she was never going to leave on her own if he left it alone. He thought of how she worked tirelessly for him so why shouldn’t he do the same for her? He thought if Asunaro put a bullet into his back for this it’d be a good thing because it’d make her realize she took a bum deal and left.

With new resolve, he stood up, making his way towards the computer. Whatever research insight he needed, he’d find it now.

Though that advertisement in the corner for purple hair dye also caught his eye.

Chapter Text

“Dad! You ran into that wall on purpose!” Sara jeered. She actually thought this race to the finish line would be fair and not just her dad giving her the victory.

“I told you Sara, I just don’t know the controls of these games,” her dad said, though the smile he gave was knowing enough for her to figure out he was lying.

Sara raised a fist to punch him in the arm but… wait. Was that allowed? This was a casual atmosphere, yes, but she didn’t want the atmosphere to change by doing something off the cuff. After their dinner, and the consequences being made aware of if she didn’t act like she was meant to…

Her dad turned his head to look at her and her hand was already back at her side as she pressed the button for the results screen.

“Well I guess I win. Again,” she said, rolling her eyes very very casually. “I think I win tonight.”

“Yes, I think you’re legendary at this Sara.” Dad smiled back. “And you sound ready to conk out.”

Sara forced a grin. In all honesty she was sleeping before coming here, but she didn’t have to say that and kill the mood. She just sat up, wished her dad goodnight (happy that it was without incident), and strolled off to her room.

Usually when she got back to her room the routine would be to collapse on top of the bed wearing her clothes, but tonight, something lay on top of the blankets. A small plain notebook wrapped in plastic.

“It… it came.” Her eyes widened “It really came.”

When she asked one of the servants around the complex to bring her a journal without telling her dad, she thought her request would be ignored. Even more so when her contraband didn’t arrive for weeks on end, but… 

“It came!” She grabbed the plastic wrapped journal and held it close, kicking her legs “It’s my own special journal that dad doesn’t know about! I have it!”

Actually, come to think of it, she shouldn’t be speaking so loudly. It might attract attention. She undid the plastic wrap (and, through the process, discovered how loud plastic is) and then took one of the pens from her desk to try and pen an entry.

I think that Gin is going back to school. He is super good at fractions, and when they have to dissect frogs at school, he lets them all out into the wild.

Helping him do that good deed is Keiji. He’s going to medical school now. Instead of taking lives now he wants to save them.

Sou

Sara crosses out that name a few times.

Shin is still job hopping, but he informs customers to stay away from asunaro. Just his way of helping.

The way she writes takes a bit of pressure off her shoulders. This is all theoretical fantasy but having it on paper is a kind of entertainment to her whims that she knows she’ll never get a true conclusion too.

“I’ll do what I can to keep you guys safe… promise.” She closed the journal, caressing the front cover and then hid it under the bed. The bodice probably made it an apt hiding spot.

“Good night everyone. I’ll see you later.”

~~~~~~~~~~

She was quite stricken when she saw her teacher one day. A woman with long brown hair, now tied in a ponytail, and with her colored contacts taken out to make room for glasses, a more casual and modest outfit than the one Sara was familiar with. But there’s no way Sara could forget that face. Not after everything that woman did to her. 

“Miley…?”

The woman responded by rolling her eyes, before taking out a cigarette and lighting it with what looked like an Asunaro brand lighter. Sara coughed as soon as the smoke entered the air.

“It’s Emiri. Emiri Harai.” She turned to her with a glare “I had better things to be doing than this today, but I’m apparently one of the most knowledgeable people in this company! So we’re spending some quality time together.”

“Emiri,” her dad spoke up, putting a hand on Sara’s shoulder. “Be nice to your future boss, won’t you?”

‘Emiri’ looked at her with a glare that could’ve killed puppies.

“Understood.”

Sara wasn’t sure if she liked the idea of spending a day with Miley. No, that wasn’t right. She hated the idea of spending a day with her. What could she possibly be here for?

“What am I supposed to do with you…?” Sara muttered, more to her dad than to Miley since every second that woman she spoke she heard her voice taunting her for-

For.

That wasn’t worth thinking about now.

“Coding.” Miley said “Asunaro is supposed to preserve life through AI right? So you’re coming to figure out the process.”

Sara gulped, and regretted it when more smoke filled her lungs. A dry cough rocked her body.

“So can I take her to the computer lab?” Miley looked past Sara to her father, a hand on her hip.

“Of course. Promise to pay attention as if I’m there, sweetie?”

Sara felt her insides crawling, like there were worms and caterpillars inside, but her smile was easy to fake.

“I will. Since when do I slack?”

She was smiled at in return. All was well as long as she had that smile.

“Alright. Follow me Sara.” Miley pointed to the ground in front of her, in a way that reminded Sara of how one might train a dog. She decided not to make a fuss about it, and ignored her burning cheeks as she stood up and began to walk towards Miley, who proceeded to spin around, whipping her ponytail in Sara’s face.

Sara swatted the hair, glaring at the figure in front of her as she stormed through the halls. It was infuriating to her how Miley seemed to know this place better than she did. 

Finally Miley came to an abrupt stop and slammed a door open to a computer lab.

“Bosses first.”

Sara felt stiff as she walked in. The lab was dark but that was probably because the lights hadn’t been turned on. Miley did not turn on the light when she entered though. Sara watched the screen Miley went to that lit up her face with an eerie glow as the only light in the room that wasn’t from the door. The computers all looked way too fancy to be a regular computer lab. Monitors at the front of the room with a familiar looking machine.

Sara coughed against her will again. When would Miley be done with that cigarette?

“Ah… I’m surprised how bad you handle these.” Miley smirked at her, the cigarette still caught between her teeth “You do know your daddy does this too right? Did he shelter you that much?”

Sara coughed a few more times at the strong smell, fanning the fumes out of the way.

“What do you know about me?” She asked which was a frankly stupid question. Asunaro knew everything about her. They had a working AI of her, for Pete’s sake! Asunaro knew her first steps. After all, the man who helped her take them was…

“Well I know you’re a pretty selfish bitch when it gets down to it.” Miley turned to the computer “If you want me to prove it I can put some simulations in the background while we work. Your little perfect prim rich girl dynamic turns cold fast when you need a leg up.” 

“Those are just… computer tests. They’re not real.”

Miley laughed and Sara was disconcerted at how similar it sounded to her laugh from the game. Like that laugh was real. Like she was just as much of a monster as that woman.

“You say that and here you stand anyway. Doing whatever your precious daddy says, even if it means taking lessons from the woman who massacred your supposed friends.” Sara couldn’t see Miley’s face so she imagined a sadistic grin “You really are as much of a spoiled daddy’s girl as I thought.”

Once she finished speaking, the computer finished booting up in tandem.

“Now, let’s start with the basics shall we?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sara hadn’t cried in a while. She did it all the time when she first left the death game. She was less inclined when she realized how important her image was to these people, and that she’d be penalized for not keeping up appearances. But Miley had dredged up something nasty. Something she had wanted to forget.

“Everyone…” she reached under her bed for that notebook “I need you here with me.”

She flipped through her entries smiling at the things she had written.

Keiji took Gin to see a movie

Shin burnt his tongue on corn potage. He somehow blamed me for this.

Shin and Keiji vandalized a police box.

She went to pen a new entry but… something in her felt sick. This isn’t real. She reminded herself. You’re just saying this to pacify yourself with what dad is doing to you.

She knew that already… she didn’t want to be reminded. But it didn’t stop her from penning her next entry.

Shin is working at a flower shop. He can’t forget about Kanna.

Gin's mom is still being watched by Asunaro.

Keiji never told me about his life. I don’t know what he’s doing.

She shut the book squeezing her eyes shut with tears. She wanted them back so bad. Keiji, Gin, even Shin. She wanted Nao back. She wanted Reko and Alice and Qtaro and Kanna and Mishima and Kai back. Anzu, Ranmaru, Kurumada, Mai, Hayasaka, Hinako… why weren’t they alive? Why weren’t they here?

“Ms Sara?” A knock on the door sounded “I’ve bought you your supper.”

Sara panicked, hiding the journal away.

“Come in!”

The woman came in. Sara had no doubt the traces of her crying were shown on her face. She hurriedly looked away putting a hand next to her features.

“Nice weather we’re having, ahahaha…” that was a stupid thing to say when she hadn’t been outside.

“Yes I suppose,” the woman said, putting the tray in front of her. Her voice sounded disinterested, hardly aware of what was happening in front of her. That probably meant Sara hadn’t been seen. “Goodbye.”

Sara looked down at the tray. She was okay for now. After all, nobody had noticed.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Sara was back in the computer lab for the next week. She was thankful that Miley hadn’t taken to smoking in front of her again. Sara just stood behind her in the dark, feeling like a little girl waiting for her mom at the bank.

“This here is the AI for Maple.” Miley showed Sara lines of code and words that she didn’t understand. “Since Hiyori messed with it, it became glitchy and incomprehensible as all hell. Consider this, ‘spaghetti code’.”

There was something so… alien about seeing the very brain and heart of a person who Sara knew, written out into text and algorithms. Hearing Maple described as ‘glitchy’ was so…

“Maple was my friend,” she said. “She wasn’t ‘spaghetti code’.”

“Really. Then what do you call her emotion cycling you had to put up with? That was a result of Hiyori’s tampering you know,” Miley said. “Hiyori broke her. You saw that in much more detail than me. Or do you just like to invalidate her trauma so you can feel good?”

Sara bit her tongue.

“Good. Now look. Where most of this went wrong is Hiyori’s, eugh… ‘love program’. You can probably figure out where it starts. He has a unique coding footprint.” She pointed. “Anything you can point out about this?”

Sara looked at the section that Miley’s acrylic nail was on, trying to draw on any knowledge of code she had picked up.

“It looks like Sou’s,” she muttered wistfully. Miley turned her head back.

“… Shin. It looks like Shin’s I mean.” She shook her head. She still wasn’t quite used to that name (and never would get a chance to). She rubbed her arm avoiding dreaded eye contact.

“Right. Your precious ally.” Sara could see Miley rolling her eyes. “Don’t tell me you’re sentimental over him.”

That made her angry. Telling her to just get over the death game, like this woman wasn’t one of the perpetrators. Their suffering was in her hands, and she played with it like a cat with a string.

“I don’t wanna hear it.” Sara gripped her wrist “Sou might have worked against us but he was still our ally!”

Miley rolled her eyes, turning back to the computer where she minimized Maples code, going to pull something else up. Sara wouldn’t stand being ignored.

“Maybe he wasn’t always on our side… but he suffered the same ways we did! He still cried! He was a person! To treat him as a lesser being is-“

Miley clicked on something and the screen pulled up a video of Sara brandishing a knife.

“Huh…?”

“Why do you still live…?” The image of Sara, still in her Sonobeno uniform, towered over Sou, pinned to the ground with just her knee. “It’s your turn to die.”

“No!” Sara screeched just seconds before her double plunged the knife into Sou’s chest, the man screeching in pain, and then removing it with a bold pull back on the arm, her eyes dead as blood droplets flew into her face. She repeated the process earning a more gurgled sound, and a third time getting silence, then continued the process for what Sara could only hope was just assuring he was dead rather than any other reason someone would stab a corpse over and over.

“No…” Sara covered her mouth almost ready to puke “Turn it off! Turn it off!”

Miley responded by turning it off. And switching to footage of Sara in one of those machines she recognized from the second floor where they switched cards. Sara could see the sacrifice on her screen as she inserted the tokens one by one and took the receiver.

“Shin Tsukimi.”

Miley then pulled up another scene of Sara voting for a sobbing Shin Tsukimi during the main game.

“I said stop!”

Miley did not stop. A murder scene. Betraying during the main game. Manipulating him for tokens. Pushing him into the spiked pit. Betraying during the main game. Stealing clear chips. Murder. Disgusting things Sara had never thought herself capable of.

“I can show you the other two living ones if you like.” Miley leaned back with casual airiness, like she wasn’t watching footage of a man murdered over and over “Let me tell you, you and your ‘Mr Policeman’ did NOT get along in these.”

“Stop! Just stop!” Sara hadn’t realized it but she was on her knees. She was close to the ground, ready to just lay there and never get up again, because why would she ever want to get up after watching someone she gave up everything to be safe sue by her own hands over and over? “As your boss I command you to stop!”

That seemed to get a sigh out of Miley, and the chain of video footage stopped. Sara was just kept in place shaking like a leaf. That person couldn’t be her. If it was then… what was she capable of? Who was she? She felt like this wasn’t her skin and someone beneath was going to tear it off to reveal the real her. The real Sara. The Sara she always knew she was.

“You’re so pathetic, You know that?” Miley asked. “There’s people who’ve actually gotten murdered or their lives ruined because of you and your daddy’s need to make you your own death game. All you can offer are your tears.”

Sara said nothing. 

“You have this giant facility all to yourself, the best instruction money can buy, servants at your beck and call, and a dad who won’t shut up about how much he wuvs you,” Miley continued “Get up. Quit crying when you have everything in the world.”

Sara sniffled, then stood up, just like her “teacher” said.

“Good. Let’s get this over with.”

~~~~~~~

“Dad.” Sara had come into his office with purposeful authority. “I want Miley removed as my teacher.”

“Hm? Sara? You know you’re not supposed to come in here.” Her dad looked up with a concerned frown “And do you mean Emiri, sweetie?”

Right. Her name. Whatever, it didn’t matter.

“I want her removed.”

“Want who removed?”

Did he really not remember? She swallowed her pride to make a detour from her original topic.

“Emiri. She is blatantly disrespectful towards me, and I refuse to tolerate her behavior any longer.”

“Hm…” Her dad tapped his chin with a pen “Can you describe some of these behaviors to me? I’ll testify for you if need be.”

Sara folded her hands, straightening her posture. Miley had utterly disrespected her. She had. It was just… would dad be convinced in the ways? He would have to be right?

“Sara…? You look uncomfortable.” Her dad frowned. “Did Emiri bother you that much?”

Sara frowned, her eyes cast downwards. Hesitantly, she let out a nod.

“Oh… Sara…” her dad sighed “One second.”

He got up from his chair, taking Sara by the hand. Sara grasped his warm hand, letting him lead her through the halls, stopping at a room where he flicked on the light switch to a homey lounge and sat down with her in a bean bag chair, petting her hair.

“Now. Tell your father what’s wrong.” Sara relaxed a little, settling into a comfortable position, hugging her father as she began to list her grievances in a safe space.

“She… she badmouthed the death game participants.”

“Ah…” the warm hand didn’t stop petting her hair, or become more rough. Sara closed her eyes as she listened to the disgustingly inevitable next words. “You aren’t still attached to those people are you?”

“I am.” She docked herself points for letting her voice waver. “I went through a lot with them. It’s only natural…”

“Oh Sara… you’re above those people.” Her dads words were gentle, like what a normal parent would say to reassure their child “They wanted to drag you down with them. In fact, some would have killed you if you let them. But you didn’t let them now did you?”

That’s not true, Sara thought. That footage…

“I don’t like saying they’re worthless though! Weren’t their struggles real? Didn’t I see it for myself?”

“Well.” Her dad sighed. “I’ll bring it up, but I think this is an avenue where you have to agree to disagree.”

Sara REFUSED to cry.

“She also… she showed me scenes of the simulations.” Sara said “Scenes where I was. Killing. And doing really gross and violent stuff. And hurting and manipulating people.”

“… Well, Sara.” Her dad punctuated the sentence with a laugh. “If you have a problem with that-“

“Yes, I know!” She cut him off before he could make acknowledgment of the elephant in the room. The longer it could go without notice the better. “But… I was crying and telling her to stop…”

“She made you cry?” The voice came out as stern with hidden fury behind it that she knew to recognize.

“… Yes.” Sara nodded, not looking up at his face “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t be.”

She was pulled closer, head squarely on her dad’s shoulder.

“She will never make you cry again. Understand?”

“… I think so,” Sara replied, hugging back with nowhere near the bone crushing capacity her father was giving her.

“She corrected her mistake when she saw you crying right?”

“She told me… stop crying,” Sara finished “Because I already have everything in the world.”

“Well. She’s right about that.” Her dad patted her on the back “I’m making sure to give my little girl everything in the world. You’re going to be exceptional Sara. This is your place to shine.”

Sara was carried back to her room, despite repeated insistence she was too old and it was embarrassing. As she laid on top of the covers, eyes wide open, she knew sleep wasn’t in the cards tonight. So she grabbed her journal.

The entry wrote itself.

Keiji, Sou and Gin are dead. I stupidly took this deal when they could use the fact I couldn’t see them to kill them just as well.

She choked as she wrote that entry, then sobbed, closing the book. She really was a selfish spoiled brat. She acted afraid of dad when he had everything wrapped up in a perfect little center. She spent nights agonizing over if she could survive but now that she did, she was unhappy with it. She already betrayed her allies by letting Ranmaru kill Reko and she wanted to be back in their lives? What if they were gone already huh? Did you think of that? Of course she didn’t. She was too concerned about what was happening to her and made her own little fantasy world. She threw the journal across the room.

“Why did dad pick me out of every kid in the world to be his daughter…? What makes me so special…?” She laid back onto the pillows, still in that day’s suit “I don’t get it… I don’t deserve it…”

She fell asleep on top of the covers that night.

~~~~~~~~~~

When Sara saw Miley the next day, she wore sunglasses. On spaces without the sunglasses, marking her face, Sara could see bruising. She gulped as she imagined what was under the fashion item.

“Come on Sara.” She had a massive faux smile as she tilted her head today. “Time for class.”

Sara waited a few extra moments before following. Miley wasn’t going to be extra angry at her or anything right? She just kept a distance until Miley came to their usual “classroom” flicking on the light.

“Dad didn’t hurt you too bad right?!” Sara burst out once they were in safe company.

“Pffft. You’re concerned about me? How sweet, after you tattled.” Miley removed her sunglasses revealing a swollen black eye. Sara held her breath. That was… bad.

“Oh? This? This is nothing. It’s called a warning, sweetheart. It means I’m not allowed to pull any stunts like yesterday again, so never fear.” She smiled, poking the injury a few times without so much as a wince “I was told to be ‘more subtle’ when instructing you from now on though.”

“… You do realize that’s just fancy talk for shut your mouth right?” Sara’s words came out in a way that had more bite than intended. She meant it as a warning but this woman had just driven her patience too far for niceties.

“Ha! Hahahahahaha!” Miley laughed, putting her glasses back on “If that’s what you think then I won’t stop you. Makes my job easier.”

Sara felt somehow more sick and trapped than yesterday. A disgusting bile of something keeping her caged here even more than before. A new way to tighten the leash around her neck.

Maybe Miley was right to compare her to a dog.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

She was sitting in her room penning journal entries.

Keiji hasn’t spoken to anyone in weeks.

Sou wishes he killed me. He should have.

Gin is scared and alone. 

Sou has enacted his revenge on Keiji and Gin while I was here.

Keiji has been drinking.

Suddenly the door opened.

“Sara?”

Sara was quick to shut the journal, but she was caught red handed. Her dad stepped into the room, not even acknowledging it, sitting on her bed.

“I took care of the Emiri business. She isn’t going to hurt you again.”

Sara could hardly croak out a ‘Thank you’ in fear of her contraband being spotted. Did he not recognize an unknown item because of the sheer amount of things she had? She made a subtle motion to move it to the side, but her dads eyes caught it.

“Ah. Are you afraid I’m upset about that notebook?” He smiled at her, with a knowing grin. “I knew about it, you know.”

Sara felt like she had a train crash into her at 600 miles an hour.

“You… you knew?”

“Of course. They can’t give you anything without telling me first ,silly.” He smiled, giving her a little noogie. “I was a little concerned that they said you wanted to keep it a secret from me, but I figured I could check in and see if it’s bad and go from there.”

Sara hugged the journal close. He knew. He knew this whole time. She thought it was her private place, the one part of the world she could have her allies back, and her dad knew this whole time and was planning to check on her.

“Would you… like to read it now?” She wanted to get this over with.

“Hm? Sure thing!” Her dad laughed. “Aren’t you enthusiastic?” Sara surrendered her precious journal, and watched as her dad started from the first page, his expression looking like he was reading her winning essay for school. He continued, only making occasional “hm…”s and “well then…”s that piled mountains more stress on top of her before she inevitably had the book taken away before he closed it.

“Sara. Why are you so attached to the surviving participants?”

Sara looked down, leaning on her dad for support she desperately wanted.

“I want to see them.”

She didn’t have any platitudes or justifications. She just wanted to see them. She loved them all. Gin was like a little brother. Sou reminded her of fighting with a sibling she never had. Keiji had been there for her through everything as emotional support, somebody who she felt safe in the hands of.

“They’re like family… Gin and Sou are the brothers I never-“

“They are not your family,” Dad hissed out “ I’m your family.”

“You know what I mean…” she muttered, leaning on him closer, but dad backed away.

“They’re strangers. They’re gone now.” She heard a practiced neutrality to his voice but anger was seeping in “You don’t know them. It’s time you moved on.”

Hearing them called strangers was a pang to the heart she didn’t know she needed. She knew them for a week. What did she know? Didn’t she kill Sou in that footage over and over? Didn’t Miley say she did the same to the other two? She said her and Keiji really didn’t get along whatever that meant. She felt her eyes grow big as the realization dawned on her.

“… I’m sorry for losing control.” Her dad seemed to come to realization and quiet down with just a cough “That wasn’t right of me.”

“No… it’s fine…”

“Thank you sweetie. I suppose there is reason to remember the survivors. You are here for them, after all.” He adjusted his tie “You may keep your journal. Your co-participants are surviving and thriving in the outside world, so you deserve to envision it. I just want you to remember something.”

Her dads eyes became stern as he spoke his next words.

“You are above them. You are Asunaro’s heiress. Dreaming about joining them is just silly when you have bigger and better things. Do you understand?”

Sara breathed in. She didn’t really. But she wanted her journal back.

“Yes.”

“Good.”

With the journal back in her hands, her dad gave her one last noogie and a kiss on the forehead.

“Goodnight sweetie. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She watched dad take his leave of the room, and just as he made it out the door, switched off the light.

Chapter Text

One day, Sara woke up to one of her servants bringing in an elaborate dress. She didn’t quite understand why. Most of what she wore on a day to day basis in this place were suits and ties, no stylish touches beyond the simple garnishes office attire.  But the thing brought  in was a gorgeous gingham patterned lolita style dress, with puffy sleeves and a strawberry pattern at the bottom. Itwas colorful and beautiful,just the sort of thing she’d love to wear. The girl hadn't had the opportunity of wearing such a pretty thing in ages, finding herself staring at it for so long that the servants left before she could ask what it was for. 

Sara  didn’t complain, though. She changed into it, tying her hair into its signature ponytail, something she hadn’t had the motivation for lately, and spent most of the morning laughing to herself as she spun in the mirror, watching  the way it flowed. The teenager hadn’t felt this alive in a while.

Eventually, someone else entered the room. “Miss Sara,” they instructed, “Your father is waiting for you in his office.”

That made  Sara curious. She was glad to not be in one of her lessons, or even worse,  with Miley, but her Dad’s  office was reserved for special occasions. Those were  two oddities in one day. The girl hoped it didn’t mean anything bad. 

“Thank you. I’ll be there soon.”

Sara waited a bit after the servant left, so that she wouldn’t be coming out right after, before she stepped into the hallway and made her way to where she remembered her father's office being. It was probably easy to call her nervous. So she took a moment to not be nervous before she knocked at the door. As soon as she did, that same door flew open to reveal her father's beaming smile. 

"Sara!" He called out her name, and before she could even respond, she was lifted off her feet and spun around by him until she got so dizzy she couldn't begin to describe it 

“Whaaaaa- dad! I’m gonna throw up!” She shouted.

As soon as she said that, he lowered her down. The girl then took a seat and began rubbing her head, without noticing that her father had sat down as well until he gave her a list. 

“Ugh… what… is…” she blinked a few times to fight off off the dizzy, before she saw… a list of restaurants? “What are these for?”

“Why, Sara! We’re going out tonight!” Her dad smiled like it was the most obvious thing in the world “You can choose where from this list. Those places are all high quality, as should be anything for my girl. There’s also a nice park nearby that I’ve rented out to watch fireworks in, just you and me. It’ll be an eventful night.” 

“Wha- are you saying I’m going outside?” Sara was not allowed to do so ever since she got here and suddenly she not only had permission to leave for a while, but also go to restaurants and parks? Was he testing her? Was she dreaming? Was she about to wake up in the computer lab, having fallen asleep in Miley’s class?

“Of course! This is a special day..”

Sara was dumbfounded. The dress, a day off from work, getting spun around and now this ? What was so special about today exactly? 

“What is all this for?” She asked, putting the list down. “What could possibly warrant…?”

“Sara… don’t you  realize?” Her dad frowned “It’s your birthday today.”

Her… birthday?

She…She was having her first birthday here. It had been so long. That she was celebrating her birthday now. She hadn’t even noticed. How funny is that? How funny is it that she can just…be another year older? An adult, even. And it’d be at Asunaro . It’d be closer to the dreaded promised day.

“Wow…” she began to feel dizzier than when she was spun around . In fact, everything was getting darker. “Cool…”

And so, for a brief, wonderful, moment, , Sara  once again forgot that it was her birthday.

~~~~~

Sara felt her eyes crack open, and entering her vision as she came back into the world was a head of green hair watching her. The person above gave her a shaky smile, clutching a clipboard close.

“Ah! Thank goodness you’re awake, Ms Sara!” The woman proclaimed “Your father was very worried!”

Sara blinked, because she was pretty sure she couldn’t mistake the woman above her.

“Safalin…?”

“Ah…” The frazzled woman stepped back, bowing to Sara “You can call me Ms Namida now. Or Michiru if you like. Though, I guess Safalin is fine if you’re comfortable with it, Ms Sara…”

“Safalin, ” Sara repeated,  “What are you doing here?”

She took a moment to gauge her surroundings. This looked a bit like an infirmary. A cot beneath her, medical supplies scattered about, and waiting chairs in the room.

“Well…According to our master, you passed out after he told you it was your birthday.” ” She recapped “He was frightened, so he asked me to deal with the situation. He also wanted me to give you this once you awoke. ”

Sara was handed the same list of restaurants as earlier. She looked it over. Most of these places seemed high class and expensive. An all out experience.

“Your father still wishes to celebrate your birthday with you.” Safalin told her, folding her hands “He’s waiting for you in lounge 4A.”

“… Thank you, Safalin.” Sara felt a sour taste on her tongue thanking Safalin of all people. Wasn’t this person responsible for the death game, for her suffering, for the suffering of others?

“If there’s anything you need, all you have to do is ask.” Safalin said “I’m at your service, Ms Sara.”

Sara flashed a weak smile, and stood up from the cot. She was at least relieved  to see that  her dress was intact. She quite liked this one.

“Goodbye.”

Sara got out the infirmary door as quickly as possible and… huh? Her knees were shaking. That was weird. She was just fine while she was in there!  Stop that!  Was it because of Safalin? One of her enemies, watching over her while she laid there, unconscious? Was that what was making her ill? Or was it… was it the date?

That’s right. She had woken up once again, on her birthday, to see Safalin, the woman who Sara had given the keys to kill Kanna and by extension Nao. That strange woman in the nurses office who claimed to be the only one who could heal her was acting as a personal nurse, because that was her life now. She just had to accept this way of life, this new motion of things, and she would do so by celebrating that she got older.

I can’t look like this, she told herself, what if somebody sees me?

In her time in Asunaro, Sara found out that she had a way of easily 'turning off' her emotions once faced with the threat of other people seeing them. You could almost say she was trained for it.   All that the girl  had to do was walk to the lounge and greet her dad with a smile.  That was easy.

“Daddy!” She ran in, greeting her dad with an overbearing tackle hug, to match the huge entrance she had earlier. She wanted to redo it perfectly.

“Sara!” Her dad squeezed back “So, you’re okay? Nothing wrong? I still want our special day to happen… oh, you’re not sick, are you? Was it one of the servants? If this happened because they had lousy cooking they’ll  be- ”

“Don’t worry, I’m fine! Of course our day can happen!” She honeyed up her voice, kicking her legs a little. “I wanna go to Mori’s! Their yakiniku should be amazing!” 

“Oh. Well, that sounds great, sweetheart.” Dad picked her up and carried her “Glad you’re up and at ‘em. I knew my daughter couldn’t be kept down.”

“So… what did you call me in here for?”

“Well.” Dad put Sara down and turned her around “Look at this sweetie.” 

Sara looked towards a chess table. It was easy to tell at a glance that the pieces were ornate, and definitely not a shabby build.The two chairs positioned across from each other were cushioned and had a color pattern of black and white checked, matching the board.

“But… dad, I’m not exactly a chess whiz!” Sara laced her fingers together, and twiddled her thumbs.

“And now would be a good time to learn some strategies.” Dad smiled, sitting down with the black pieces “It’ll strengthen your mind and you can have a bit of fun.”

“Ugh… I think you’re overestimating how much thought I put into chess…” she had played the game before, but only really as a game, against friends who she had taught the basics and were also playing casually. The high schooler  would usually find a way to win, but that could easily be chalked up to just… having someone who always pushed her to be the best she could be. “Fine. Let’s do it.”

Their opening gambits were like night and day. While she took a sloppy move, meant primarily for an offensive breach, dad made a move in accordance to hers, then explained several strategies that could stem from it. Sara put her head in her hands, realizing how much she was outdone in just their opening moves. 

Her attempts to dodge his strategic aims only lead to several of her pawns being taken out and dad explaining exactly what went wrong with her moves. Advancing didn’t seem to do her any favors, either. The twomostly settled into a pattern of her falling into every trap and him giving descriptions of how she failed, until he finally captured her queen and she could concede with a little dignity.

“Good game.” She pushed her chair back, her head spinning from all the moves she was taught. “I really got my butt handed to me, there.”

“Ah, you’ll just need more practice.” Dad stood up, ruffling her hair “You have all the time in the world to get better.”

“I do, don’t I?” She gave a faux smile. “Well, let’s save the chess pieces for later. It’s my birthday! Can’t we play Super Bash Sisters?”

“Hm…” her dad tapped his  chin “Fine. But only if you win every round.”

“Oh, I’ll crush you!” She winked,dragging him by the arm “Away!”

~~~~~~~~~~

Sara didn’t realize food could taste this good.

“Mmm… mmm….” She emphasized the tastiness by licking her lips “Wow! That’s delicious!”

“Heh, I’ve never seen you chowing down meat like that, Sara.” Dad said fondly.

“I mean, It’s because I know it’s not the healthiest, so I didn’t wanna make a habit,” Sara said “But this… god, this should be illegal! Uh, it’s not illegal, right?”

Her dad laughed at that question, which, you know, fair. Even if they were essentially yakuza,it was silly to think about food literally so good it’s illegal. She just slurped up some more soup. 

“God… eating fancy meat like this… Keiji would be sooooo jealous.” She joked, wiping the soup off her face.

“… Pardon?”

“Oh, usually the meals he was served in the game had meat in them. He didn’t seem to mind. Really liked it even. Oh, but I guess you knew he liked that with…” She bit her lip, not really wanting to address the whole… stalking business “You think we could box some of this up and send it to him? He’d love that!”

“No.” Her father said flatly.

“Huh? But…”

“Sorry, Sara, but you’re not supposed to interact with the survivors again. It was our deal, remember?”

“Well, yes… but is it technically interacting if I just send some food I think they like?”

“I think,” her dad frowned at her “That with this and your previous incident with them, I have a right to be concerned about their effects on you.”

Sara’s mood drooped. The journal. She knew that it’d look bad to anyone who saw it, but dad didn’t mention that last time, so she thought she had gotten away with that bit.

“I just…” She poked at another piece of meat, flipping it around with her chopsticks, but no words came to her. Every possible combination of words she could use to describe her feelings sounded like something that could upset dad. She didn’t want to ruin a good night.

“… Well, why don’t we drop it?” Her dad, asked ruffling her hair “It’s your birthday.” 

Sara let out a little sigh in relief as she took another piece of meat and bathed it in soy sauce.

“After one last thing,” Her dad put another slice on the grill to replace the one she was happily washing in sauce “Can you do that?”

Sara wasn’t sure of what the question would be. Still, he promised to drop it. So she  nodded enthusiastically, eating the salty meat.

“… last time we spoke about… the survivors, you called them family to you.” Father said, pressing the meat down on the grill so it could get more heat “You called Shin Tsukimi and Gin Ibushi brothers. But you didn’t clarify what Keiji Shinogi was to you. So can you tell me that?”

“Wh-what?” Sara would have spit out her food if she wasn’t afraid of the consequences. Why on earth would he be so hung up on… that?

“Well, it’s obvious Shinogi means a lot to you.” Father pressed down on the sides of the meat to make sure all of it was getting cooked “You even took back your plans to have Ranmaru Kageyama’s doll murder everyone for you just because of him. You signed the consent form for him. You tried to rip open a burning coffin for him. With the whole family talk, it’s weird to think you didn’t clarify his role in the family.”

Father didn’t look at her the entire time he was talking. He just focused on his piece of meat that was being pressed to the grill. At this point Sara was concerned that thing was going to be burnt, but she wasn’t as concerned for the meat as she was for…

There was an obvious person in danger here, and a more obscure one, yet one who was obviously in the crosshairs. She felt sick, the good mood from before all but forgotten.

“Sara?”

“Oh.” She had been quiet. That was bad. Sara  wasn’t supposed to be quiet in these situations. She was supposed to be the same fearless leader she was in the death game. “Well… Keiji. He was…”

Saying brother now would draw suspicion. Cousin? Weird. What could she say?

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know.” 

Sara gulped. She really didn’t. Did she? Maybe she did and didn’t want to say it. Or maybe she just wasn’t prepared to admit it to herself, much less dad . Even better, maybe she truly just had no idea what that strange dubious policeman was, no matter how much she relied on him,wanted him back and would have gone through hell again just to make sure he’s safe, despite every warning sign flashing on his person.

“I don’t know.” She repeated. Sara clasped her own hands under the table, in an attempt to calm her nerves, and looked into her dads eyes, hoping against hope he’d accept that and they could just celebrate her birthday as promised.

“… Okay.” Her dad smiled, ruffling her head. “I understand perfectly.”

It was over. The teenager almost sighted in relief. She just had to say that…  Did she really just have  to say that? Was that right? Was that… was that true? Was it really all she had to say?

Dad went to flip his meat on the grill, but frowned.

“Aw, nuts. It’s burned. This is why I kept Kai around.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Dad… about Keiji…” 

“Hey, I told you not to worry!” Her dad smiled, pulling her close “You don’t know, right? What does some weirdo with purple hair dye matter?”

“Um dad… the color he dyed his hair with was blonde, remember?” You’d think he’d remember that, seeing how much surveillance they put on the candidates.

“Of course, of course, my bad.” Her dad laughed “The point is, it’s time for fireworks. Don’t worry your little head about it, birthday girl.”

Well, there was some comfort in that. Obviously dad wasn’t paying that much attention. She smiled, relaxing next to him.

“Man I can’t remember the last time I saw fireworks…” Sara sighed “I remember it was at a festival… and a friend was there… but I don’t remember who…”

Dad remained silent, keeping her close. 

“I’m… glad I can still go outside.” She said “I was worried I’d be inside that building forever.”

“Of course not.” Her dad said “There’s plenty I have to show you out here. I’m just worried about other people is all. I want to keep you safe.”

Sara bit her lip. The way dad held her close right now… the way he went all out for tonight. He gave her her journal, even though he didn’t like it. He gave her so much. Sure, she sometimes felt small but…

“You have this giant facility all to yourself, the best instruction money can buy, servants at your beck and call, and a dad who won’t shut up about how much he wuvs you, Get up. Quit crying when you have everything in the world.”

Sara was spoiled. A part of her had learned that in the death game, when she experienced a hell like no other, yet still put herself first and let herself decide the life of a little girl and still wanted a faster way out than the rest. It was as Midori had laughingly proclaimed, with his hand clamped around her neck. 

She grew up in a nice home with all the things she needed. The young lady had never thought of her situation as atypical, despite how disastrously unreal it turned out to be. She even called it normal as can be in the throes of the death game, when it was showing signs of its true nature. Sara Chidouin never thought of her father as a bad person, no matter what.

Her father had his problems. He always did and she saw them. He always would. And she saw them. But… wasn’t this enough? Wasn’t he doing everything to make her happy? Shouldn’t she be… happy?

Sara slowly reached out, wrapping  her arms around her father. There were  tears were gathering in her eyes, but she fended them off by squeezing them shut.

“I love you, dad.”

“Heh. I love you too, Sara.” He replied, stroking her back “But you may wanna keep your eyes open. The fireworks are starting in 4… 3… 2…”

Sara turned her head and opened her eyes to see the first of the fireworks light up the sky. They widened to the beautiful sight, staring in awe.

“Oh, wow!”

“Heh.” Her dad smiled “Pretty cool, huh?”

“Yeah.” She nodded “Now I wanna know who I watched these with last time.”

Her dad ruffled her hair.

“Eh. They probably held you down.”

Chapter Text

Keiji was walking through the corridors on the third floor, almost past the kitchen, when coming to his nostrils was the burning sensation of an attempt to cook gone wrong. Well, that had his attention.

“Did we cook it for too long, Big Sis Sara? Meow?” Gin’s voice drifted out, further grabbing his focus.

“I don’t know… we might’ve also added too much of some ingredient, or maybe we didn’t stir it right…?” Sara’s voice came next “It’d be so much easier if we had a recipe!”

“Or long haired apron guy, woof.”

After that, Sara went silent. Ah. Kai. Maybe it was time for Mr Policeman to come to the rescue? 

“Hey, what’s cooking?” He walked in, cricking his neck. “Do you two need adult supervision?”

Not that he’d be of much help. He couldn’t cook for beans, but he might as well try and keep up appearances.

“No need, we already failed.” Sara sighed, gesturing to a bubbling tray of batter. “Besides, I saw the… curry you made yesterday, Keiji. I don’t think your help would do much.”

Busted. She was a bit sharper than he liked, sometimes.

“I wanted something sweet, so Big Sis Sara tried to make a cake, meow,” Gin explained. “But it looks really bad, woof.”

“Huh. Well you know, I’m sure if you put some frosting on it, nobody will even be able to tell,” Keiji joked. Sara rolled her eyes at the poor attempt.

“That’s nice but I don’t know how to make frosting either,” she said. “I always had someone to cook for me at home.”

With that, the girl's mood seemed to drop a little. She averted her eyes, as if she felt guilty for admitting it… Right, those emails and Kai did paint a picture. Honestly, Keiji felt like Sara still hadn’t told him everything  about whatever experience she had with Kai. Probably because she thought Mr Policeman was just… too untrustworthy to be divulged that information.

“Well. It’s getting late, about time for Gin to go to sleep. How about we put off baking for another day?”

“It’s embarrassing, not being able to do this much…” Sara muttered “But I guess I’ll save trying to get better at cooking for when I’m home.”

Oh. Was she trying to do this because she made the connection? Keiji looked at the decimated kitchen and briefly began to think back to the vote in the main game for Kai. It wasn’t going to be pretty no matter how it turned out, but what a way for you not to know if your life has been turned upside down until after the fact and being forced to wait for the answer.

“Big Sis Sara, when's your birthday?” Gin asked “I’ll bake you a special cake then!”

“Oh.” Sara looked at Gin, her face fond if a bit embarrassed “It’s May 18th.”

So still a ways to go. Maybe Gin could write ‘Here’s to surviving another year’ on it as a dark personal joke. Though he doubted the tyke was that cynical.

“Well, the burnt cake will do as a nice early present.” Keiji smiled. As he said that, he popped off a piece with his hands and tossed it into his mouth. “Hm. Could use less flour.”

He looked over at Sara and Gin, staring at him with horror in their eyes.

“Something on my face?” He asked “Don’t wanna scare Gin before it’s his bedtime.”

Gin clutched his cat shaped pillow close, whispering something to Sara.

“I’ll keep an eye out.” Sara said “Goodnight you two. I’m going to get one last attraction in.”

~~~~~~~~

On May 18th, Keiji bought a slice of chocolate cake from a local convenience store. 

His apartment wasn’t really the best place for this kind of… set up. He spent all day clearing his table and trying to wipe off stains that he eventually had to settle and accept would be there forever and he cursed when he found he had no clean silverware to put out with it so he had to hand wash a dirty fork. 

He definitely didn’t have much in the way of party decorations. Maybe he’d google a list of songs on his computer that were supposedly popular with teenage girls? He didn’t know half of these and wondered if Sara would the same way. Well, they would do.

For the picture, he couldn’t track down any photos of Sara Chidouin, but he was able to get a picture of Joe Tazuna. It definitely made sense, in his head, to have her best friend sitting at her birthday celebration that he’d never join in on again. It was plenty satisfying.

So there he was. He set up the cake, a fork, a (mostly) clean table, bad music, and a picture of her best friend, all for a birthday celebration for an absent gir. He sat on the opposite side of the table to take in his admittedly shabby work.

Sara was on the other side, smiling back.

“So. This is what you’ve been doing.” She looked down at the offerings. Keiji tried to ignore it. Ignore the way bandages were wrapped around her neck like a cord, or how the bags under her eyes were looking even worse than his. In the end, it wasn’t real. It was just his sick, twisted imagination.

The hallucination’s hand reached down, but instead of going for the cake, it took the picture of Joe, his imagination levitating solid object and stroking it gently.

“Do you think I’m still forgetting him?” She asked. Keiji had nothing to respond with. Response would be an acknowledgement. Acknowledging them was never good for him. In truth, he didn’t know what Meister was doing with her memories of Joe. He didn’t know any of what she might be going through. All he had was educated guesswork.

Of course, the hallucination used what was in his head to talk back. It was part of his mind after all.

“My dad could be putting me through the most grueling torture right now. After all, it’s not like the death game wasn’t deadly. Who knows what sort of adjacent things he could be doing to me right now?” she challenged him. “Are you really okay with just sitting here and getting cake you don’t intend to eat?”

It wasn’t real. It wasn’t real. It was just his own head. His worst paranoia. She had already won the death game, right? In a sense, at least. Of course, as he gave himself reassurances, the hallucination had to curl in on herself, holding the picture of Joe close.

“Why did you leave me?” she asked. “I did everything like you told me to. I was the challenger for Russian Roulette. I figured out who the sage was. I led and saved everyone I could, but you left me to—”

“I’m going to save you!”

He acknowledged it. He bit his tongue, angry that he let himself get carried away and yell his empty promise to himself to this hallucination of Sara. Watching the girl tremble, watching as the usually mocking visions began to shed tears, and shook her head and said.

“That’s what I thought you’d do in the death game.”

A hand reached out, and he threw himself out of  the chair to avoid it, finding his breathing to be heavy. After realizing he wasn’t being choked, the man almost wished the delusion would strangle him as per usual. Still, he was glad to have his neck free. When he looked up, he noticed the seat where Sara was sitting, empty, with the picture of Joe sitting exactly where he put it.

“… Happy birthday, Sara.” He groaned to himself, standing up and turning off the song that was playing. “I hope you can at least celebrate it.”

Chapter Text

Gin had gotten used to the loner overtime. He was pretty loud and obnoxious, kinda like Mr Qtaro-

Well. Aside from the fact the loner was breathing and Mr Qtaro wasn’t.

But Gin had noticed just like Mr Qtaro (aside from the fact he was alive) that he wasn’t such a bad guy when you got down to it. And he was excited for today. Mostly. He was worried how the loner would react. But he wanted this more than anything in the world and mom couldn’t do it because she was too busy. So he sat in the back of the car, kicking his legs with a hum.

(He noticed a car following them on the way. Was that Asunaro? He knows he made his promise for them to protect mom, but Asunaro were bad guys. He didn’t really trust them to protect her. Thankfully, it turned and headed down the road. So maybe it was just his imagination.)

When they got where they were going, Gin unbuckled his seat belt and got out of the car all by himself, mom smiled at him, pulling his hood down.

“You’re full of energy today.” She noted “Is today special?”

“Nope! Nothings happening meow!” Gin lied. He felt bad lying to mom, but she worked a lot. If she knew about this, she’d probably work harder.

“Hm…” she frowned  “Well, whatever you say.” 

She then took his hand swinging it as they walked. Gin laughed. He totally fooled her.

When they got to the loner’s place, he opened the door looking frazzled and wearing that same stupid scarf he always did. Gin didn’t get why he wore that scarf. It was the same one that seaweed head wore, and the loner hated seaweed head more than anyone. 

“Cripes, sorry, I was taking a call for some freelance work I’m doing. You came to the door at just the right time Nana.”

Gin knew the loner had been taking jobs in programming since the death game. Finally getting an actual job it seemed. Mom didn’t seem to mind, (hopefully not because they kissed or anything) and chatted with the loner. Gin felt himself ready to jump out of his skin with excitement, until finally mom left and he was ushered inside. 

“Hey loner, do you know what today is meow?” Gin asked throwing Mew Chan up in the air and catching him. “It’s special.”

“Ah…..” Loner frowned in a way like he knew that Gin wanted an answer and the right one “Um… well. There’s a lot of holidays that happen every single day. You should narrow it down a little.”

Tricky loner. Gin frowned sticking Mew chan in his face.

“It’s about a very important person! And I made a promise woof!”

“Ah!” Loner snapped his fingers with a grin, the kind that told Gin he was confident in his answer. Finally. “It’s your moms birthday.”

Wow. That was a lot of confidence for a wrong answer.

“It’s big sis Sara’s birthday meow!” Gin yelled “Get it right woof!”

“Oh.” Loners face shifted in a way Gin didn’t get. Suddenly Gin regretted saying that. Was loner going to say something about her again? Was he going to talk about how much he hated Big Sis Sara? “Well. What’s this promise?”

“… I promised I’d make a cake for big sis Sara meow.” Gin clutched Mew Chan close “I know she isn’t here but I still…”

“I’m not really much of a baker…” Loner pulled up his scarf the way Gin noticed he did when he didn’t wanna make his expression be seen “Even with a recipe I might screw up.”

Big sis Sara said she might’ve been able to get it with a recipe. Why did the loner not want to? Probably because he just hated Big Sis Sara.

“… You know what? There’s an app I have that delivers groceries quick. I can get one of those pre-made cake mix sets and I’ll see what I can do.” The loner lowered his scarf and offered a sympathetic smile. Gin did not want a pre made kit. He wanted to be a big boy and make a cake from scratch like he tried to with big sis Sara.

But mom would get mad if he made trouble for the loner. He could  still make a cake like this. It’s not like he could do much himself.

“Okay! You better make it a good one loner!”

“Awesome! Okay I’ll uh… okay you wanna set up a game of Isabella Kart while we wait?”

“I wanna play Isabella Party!” 

“Well, set it up. We’ve got a full hour before these guys arrive.”

As Gin switched out the game on Loners switch he felt a little sad. He did want to play video games when he was done with the death game and got to go home, but it was never with the loner. It was always with other people. He wished Mr Policeman was here to play Isabella Party with. But even thoughMr Policeman left with them, he hadn’t seen him once since that meeting. The only time he ever came up was when Gin insisted mom try and call him again and she looked at him and told him she got the answering machine.

Mr Policeman would make an actual cake. He was nice to Big Sis Sara. He would care about today. He’d know today was special. He knew Big Sis Sara was special. He just wasn’t here.

“Okay, groceries are coming.” Loner came to the couch “You can pick the character first.”

“I wanna be Mishi, meow!” Gin exclaimed. The weird creature that was supposed to be a dog but didn’t really look it, and always said his name was his favorite.

“Again huh… well I’ll be Prince Azalea.” Loner shrugged selecting his usual character again. That guy who was never in any actual games but was a really loud and obnoxious companion to Prince Pomegranate. He fit the loner perfectly in Gin’s opinion. 

“So…” Loner said while he randomly selected the map “How did you know it was Ms Sara’s birthday? Did I miss an email from Asunaro or something?”

That was rich seeing how much the loner checked his emails. A little less funny when Gin thought of his mom pacing around the room and being denied the answer when he asked, but checking her computer and seeing an unopened email from Asunaro. 

“Nope. Big Sis Sara told me!” Gin kicked his legs a little “Glad you weren’t eavesdropping during that time loner. Woof!”

“Oh come on. I didn’t poke around in other peoples business that often.” 

As the loner said that he pulled up his scarf his ears becoming red. Right… talking about the game with loner was always awkward because loner did a lot of bad things in the game. He treated it sort of like a good natured jab but was that really what you’d call it? There was a lot more behind it than that. 

But it was fun to tease him now that it was over. 

“Meow! You were a menace.” Gin said “Anyways, me and Big Sis Sara made a cake but it turned out terrible. So I promised to make her a cake on her birthday when we could see a recipe woof!”

“You made a cake without a recipe…?” Loner looked at him, eyebrows raised in that way when he was so shocked at what he was hearing he had to look like he meant it this time “So does Ms Sara have cooking experience?”

“She said she doesn’t.”

Loners eyebrows went even higher.

“Holy cripes.” He rubbed his head looking weird… was he fond? Nah… “You know it’s always jarring to remember Ms Sara was a little more… scatterbrained than I remember.”

Gin knew that ‘scatterbrained’ was loners nicer way of calling Big Sis Sara “stupid” but he sorta thought it was funny watching him do that. It sounded more funny and lighthearted than some other stuff he said.

“I hope Big Sis Sara is having a big birthday celebration right now.” Gin took his first turn, frustrated that he landed on the space that took his gold “She should get to be happy after what she did for us I think meow.”

Loner looked straight at the tv, a wistful look on his face. Was he gonna say something mean again?

“I… worry sometimes about what’s going on wherever she is.”

What? Loner was worried? About Big Sis Sara? Gin felt sick. Big Sis Sara probably wasn’t happy wherever she was. Her big mean father probably didn’t even remember her birthday and she didn’t get to do anything fun. But since when did loner care?

“What do you mean woof?” He asked quietly.

Loner’s eyes shot open as he rolled the dice, and made Prince Azalea move.

“It’s um… it’s nothing Gin-“

“What’s happening to big sis Sara meow?!”

Gin had never gotten to actually read the emails mommy got from Asunaro. He didn’t want her seeing he’d been through her computer and making a nuisance of himself, so he left them be. But what if they said something about Big Sis Sara? 

“I don’t know-“ Loner started.

“Liar! You always lie loner woof!”

“No, I mean it Gin!” Loner shook his hands around “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to…”

“Loner what do you know about Big Sis Sara?” Gin stuck Mew Chan in his face for extra intimidation “Mew chan knows if you’re lying.”

“Just as much as you Gin! I swear!” Loner said “It’s just… sometimes my imagination runs wild…”

“Imagination meow?”

“… Cripes.” Loner rubbed his head “Look, I just… I don’t think that the deal Ms Sara took was pretty for her. But I don’t know the details so who knows? Asunaro wouldn’t tell us even if we asked.”

If Asunaro wouldn’t tell them then it had to be bad Gin concluded. Loner was just making it seem better because he was a kid. He could tell.

“… Do you think she at least gets to celebrate her birthday meow?”

“… of course.” Loner said “What dad doesn’t let a daughter celebrate her birthday?”

The kind who makes her go through a scary death game and then never lets her see her friends again. Gin thought.

He didn’t wanna talk about this anymore. It was too scary. He didn’t want to think about Big Sis Sara not having any birthdays again. He should think about something else.

“When’s your birthday loner woof?” Gin asked since they were finally able to play the mini game between their turn instead of arguing.

“Oh uh… April 2nd. Just last month actually-“

“WHAT?!” Gin leaned in to loner causing Prince Azalea to drop everything he was carrying “Loner, you didn’t tell me or mom it was your birthday?!”

“Ah! I’m in last place!” Loner lamented. But he seemed to wipe off his face and take the loss in stride. “Gin, the last person I celebrated my birthday with was Hi- Midori. I don’t want a birthday celebration.”

“But that’s so sad meow!” Gin yelled. He was the next to drop his plates and lose the game. “You’ll be just like Big Sis Sara… no birthdays…”

Loner shifted in his seat “That’s not confirmed…”

“I’ve decided! Today is your birthday too, woof!” Gin smiled “Don’t try to fight it loner. It’s your birthday celebration.”

“Oh… joy…” Loner watched the screen where Isabella took first place “What, do you wanna turn off the game and go to an amusement park?”

“Silly loner!” Gin knocked him with his paws “We have to make Big Sis Sara’s cake!”

“Okay… good… so then-“

“But now it’s gonna be your cake! So you better not mess up!”

“Yes sir…” loner hunched over pressing the buttons to advance. He could be really cool sometimes.

~~~~~~~~~

“Okay… so we stirred the dry ingredients and the wet ingredients in the same bowl… I don’t think it’s the end of the world though.” Loner smiled sheepishly after Gin pointed to the instructions on the box “They were supposed to go together in the end.”

“Yeah… but…” Gin didn’t let himself finish. He didn’t wanna be a complainer. 

“Well, I mean. It’s my cake and I think I’ll be fine with it either way.” Loner said pouring the ingredients into a pan so shiny and clean, Gin could swear it’d never been used once.

“It’s Big Sis Sara’s cake too.” He reminded him.

“Yeah… but still. I don’t think it’s too bad.” He shrugged “Now into the oven… oh that’s hot… ow ow ow just having my hands near it-“

“You’re supposed to be wearing mitts, meow.” Gin said “Here. Take my paws.” 

“Ah, I’ve got it in!” Loner celebrated “We can save the gloves for later Gin.”

“Yep! It better be a good cake or I’m blaming you meow!” Gin chirped.

“I know you will…” Loner sighed “Oh man… my hands… I gotta wash these off with cold water, wait a second.” 

Gin rolled his eyes as the loner obsessively scrubbed his hands in a way that said it was no longer about just cooling down but making his hands as clean as possible. When him and Big Sis Sara made cake together they got super dirty but Loner looked super annoyed whenever a speck of flour touched him. Even Mr Policeman took a piece of the cake with his hands.

“Hey loner. Will you eat the cake even if it tastes yucky?” Gin asked.

“Oh… I don’t know. I’ve got a really sensitive stomach see, so cake is already pushing it… but if it comes out wrong I might get sick or something…”

So loner was a coward. Fine. He wished he could’ve made a cake with Mr Policeman. Then he would’ve made sure it was great and that Big Sis Sara loved it. Even if she wouldn’t get it.

“Do you think… we could send some of the cake to Big Sis Sara…?” Gin asked quietly. He knew the answer was no. But he wanted to hear it anyways. “I think she’d like some.”

“Uh…” Loner rubbed his hands together in that way whenever he was nervous. Gin always thought he looked suspicious in the death game rubbing his hands together but it was funny knowing he did it when he was shy about something. “Well… I doubt they’ll give it to her. We also don’t really know the address… or if it’ll go stale in that time… I mean it’s worth a shot if you really wanna…”

“Okay…” Gin nodded “Thanks for telling me loner, meow! Wanna play more Isabella party?”

“Ah, yeah. Much less messy.” Loner laughed “Probably what I’d prefer to do on my birthday.”

~~~~~~~~

“Hey Nana, want a slice of cake?” 

“Wow! You and Gin made this?” Mom looked impressed by the plate of cake he and loner made themselves “What’s the occasion?”

“Well it was apparently Ms Sara’s birthday and Gin wanted to do something… I’m not really much of a baker… in fact I messed up the instructions, but it looks like it was a win!”

Oh no. Gin did not want Mom to know that it was Big Sis Sara’s birthday. If she knew she would worry. She would get concerned about him. She would lose time she could be spending trying to work, and help everybody and then have more work later. Gin didn’t want that. He should’ve told Loner to keep his big mouth shut.

“Sara? As in…”

“Yes, the same one.” 

Gin tugged on his moms skirt.

“Mom we should get going, meow.”

“Oh. How are you…”

“Oh I’m fine, I'm fine. Worry about the girl, not me.” Loner waved his hand “Me and Gin had a fun time, I wanna be more mature than getting heated because a kid wants to celebrate a birthday.”

“Heh. Mature.” Mom smiled “Well, I can appreciate that.”

“Moooom.” Gin kept pulling “Cmon.”

“Ah… sorry Gin. If it’s taking too long you can wait in the car.” Mom smiled “Okay?”

Gin frowned. That wasn’t the problem. The problem was mom was making herself worry. But he’d get dismissed if he said that. So he went to the car and after a while mom came.

“So.” Mom said while they started to drive “Your Big Sis Sara's birthday.” 

Gin nodded. “Yeah.”

“You didn’t tell me it was her birthday today.”

Her tone wasn’t accusatory. She sounded fine, excited even. Gin frowned hugging Mew Chan close. She tried so hard even though he kept a secret and lied to her.

“I’m sorry.” 

Mom laughed a little.

“Oh there’s nothing to be sorry for. Especially after you made such good cake.”

Technically Gin didn’t make it. They bought pre bake mix from the store. Not good enough for Big Sis Sara.

What was good enough for Big Sis Sara anymore? Now that she was gone? Gin didn’t want to think about that but…

“Hey mom?”

“Yes?”

“Have you gotten anything that says how Big Sis Sara is wherever she is?”

“Oh… no. No I haven’t.” Mom shook her head.

“… Okay.”

Chapter Text

Sara didn’t get why Asunaro really needed assassins

Well, it was typical in all the anime she watched (the ones dad would allow anyways. At a point he stopped letting her watch so much anime until one day in high school he relented and let her watch what friends were watching. She would then find so many shows she wanted to watch and force her friends to do so.) that evil organizations had assassins. Those assassins ranged from cruel and sadistic(and super pretty looking too… why were the most malevolent ones always the best looking?) to still dark and moody Yet, in the end, victims forced into the role because of circumstances. However, she never really got anything out of the reason they were present asides from:  “they have assassins and that’s bad.”

But that was fiction. Now she had to find and put a reason to her reality. She had to know why assassins existed if she wanted to run a company- and she had to run a company. It was her end of the bargain, and she still wanted the other end held up.

“Dad, can you tell me about Kai?” She asked one day, kicking her legs out so she could look a little more cute and hard to say no to. Sara knew if she just bought up assassins, her dad would dance around the topic, but Kai? Who knew what Kai would bring? Dad knew him, he was an assassin. It was the perfect fit.

“Oh.” Dad looked at her, a warm smile. “You wanna talk about Kai do ya?”

“Well, he was in the house for years. It is a little curious.” She grinned. She was going to say I think I deserve to know… but it sounded a little too accusatory.

“Oh, Kai… that boy loved you so much.” Dad shook his head, his expression still joyous “Enough to die for you.”

And he did are the words that went unspoken. He didn’t have to… but he did. Maybe if he followed instructions he wouldn’t have been forced into the game with her. But she was much better at following instructions- so nobody would have to die.

“He was a pretty good cook too.” Sara reminisced, with a soft smile. “None of the servants here can make food half as good as what was at home.”

“Cooking was his second love.” Her dad agreed.  “After every meal you had, he’d have this little puppy dog look while he asked me what you thought of it.”

Sara tried to picture that look… but it didn’t really come to her. As much as she tried to picture Kai as the loving member of her family that he wound up being, Sara would often wake up haunted by abysmal eyes of the void watching her on the street. They would settle upon her, following and tracking her every move with that infinite depth. She wondered when the day would come that she’d be taken somewhere and never seen again- which did happen in a sense, just not because of Kai. Reconciling those two images with the first one just being a misunderstanding felt… hard, especially with all the horror she experienced.

“I can see that.” She lied “Now I know why you constantly drilled me about how I felt.”

“Ah,  you know me!” He added.

Sara laughed, in a way that she rehearsed for a while. She was good at putting on a show when she had to. She could sell enjoying herself to the best of her abilities.

“So…” she kicked her legs, “Why’d you hire him?”

“Ah… Well, Kai was special.” Dads lips were pushed upwards as he brushed the bangs out of her eyes “You read this on the files on his computer- but the poor boy didn’t have the ability to kill anyone despite his assassin upbringing. Nobody knew what to do with him.”

Now they were getting somewhere.

“So, did you just think he’d be a good cook?” Sara asked.

“No. No no no no.” Dad shook his head before thumbing her cheek “Don’t get me wrong. The eggs were delicious. But, Kai was also there for a very special person…”

Sara could only think of one person that could be. 

“Me?”

“His dad fed him the story that it was for data collection- and of course, we did get data for the AI but…”

Sara didn’t like how quickly he added ‘but’. All that time Kai was watching her, she was being monitored. She was terrified for her life. All for a robot version of her to drop in a death game. Then dad used the word ‘but’ to sweep it all under the rug, just the daily grind in a sense with him.

“Like I said, we never knew what to do with him. The poor assassin who couldn’t kill. But look how dedicated he was to you…to the very end. He died with a smile on his face. Instead of being executed for being useless, he took his life into his own hands. I couldn’t be more proud.”

Sara felt a chill run down her spine.  That wasn’t what she expected. In fishing for information about assassins she got some… disturbing realizations about the way her dads’ mind worked. The beat of her heart increased as she took in a deep breath, her face suddenly ashen.

“Sara… you look frightened.” Dad frowned, worry in his eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Dad…” she didn’t really have anyone else she could vent to or rely on in this situation. As scary as it was, she knew that dad's reasoning for this was her. It was him… or nothing. And she made her choice as she reached out to hug him.

“Ah… are you sad about Kai sweetie?” Dad asked “You hardly knew him.”

“I’m sorry… I just-  I feel really bad about what happened…” She mumbled, melancholy the only honest emotion audible.

“It’s alright sweetie… it was horrible to see, I get it…” Her dad rubbed a circle on her back, and she exhaled a bit in relief. So he wasn’t completely apathetic.

“So… did I know any other assassins?” Sara asked him which she quickly realized sounded a little too accusatory.

“Well… that pink haired girl. The one you knew as Hinako…” 

Sara felt herself flinch. That girl who looked the same age as Kanna, yet somehow shorter… her eyebags put Keiji’s to shame, and Sara spent so much time wondering, “What could make a little girl like this?”

Killing as a job was a good answer to that question.

“I don’t have as much knowledge of her as Kai… I didn’t know her personally.” Dad shrugged, “But she was talented for her age. Let’s just say she wouldn’t have ended up in the same situation as Kai if not for the banquet.”

Sara pretended to laugh at the incredibly off color and unfunny joke. So assassins could be children. You could do nothing and be like Kai, or do something and face the same fate at 14… like Hinako.

Sara didn’t want to know more about assassins.

Unfortunately, the first swipe of her pen as heiress she was being asked to make was forcing her to do just that.

“Considering how the orphanage is being decommissioned soon, it’s best to get the kids into a program.” The goon elaborated as she read over the contract “They’re too young for many life skills, but an assassin program will be easiest to work with for such a large group, and there isn’t enough space at the nearby Asunaro orphanages. So this is really your best option here Ms Sara.”

Sara felt her eyes wobbling at the words on the paper, feeling sick to her stomach at the descriptions of what the individual assassin “programs” would be for the kids. She remembered Qtaro speaking fondly of the kids at the orphanage he stayed at. What if this was the same one? What if it was one he visited? She loathed the idea.

“You said that the ‘nearby’ orphanages can’t be transferred to.” She looked up speaking in her high and mighty authoritative voice “What of further places. Can we get seats there?”

“Oh…” the man explaining blinked in surprise, almost looking unsure what to say, but a hand on her shoulder came to explain the situation.

“We could probably find seating if we looked, but it’d take a lot more work. The orphanage might go under in the time it takes to divide them up and they’d be off on their own for a while…”

“Well, I see no reason we couldn’t lend more resources then.” Sara spoke with just a hint of indignation creeping into her voice. Her dad chuckled, but Sara could swear it sounded a bit annoyed.

“Yes, but well, that takes away resources from the other orphanages. Some kids might have to tolerate getting less for a while. Plus not all kids can be accompanied by staff on the train… I’d hate for them to get lost.” He went on, “and without moving the staff into assassin programs… Well, the orphanages the kids are moving into already have staff. We wouldn’t know what to do with them.”

Sara recognized that wording from Kai. She could understand what dad was trying to tell her. Both options had their risks. Still, if it came down to the risks of moving people around, and letting an entire orphanage full of Hinako’s happen, she knew the right answer.

“Move the staff to this building. They’ll get on their feet just fine.”

Her dad's face became a stark frown. She felt proud however. She navigated a tough decision in probably the best way possible.

“So… should I print up a new contract?” The man asked, putting his hands on the one in front of Sara.

“Yes. Shred this one if you would please.” Sara grinned with her teeth.

“Actually-“ her dad interrupted. “Keep this one intact. I want my daughter to have time to think about the decision.”

“Sir.” The goon nodded “It’ll take two weeks. Until then.” 

Sara watched the man go, looking at the current contract with a frown.

“I think the decision I made is effective.”

“Sara…” her dad sighed, “You're wasting two more of our weeks on a decision that isn’t effective. It’s squeamish. It goes against tradition.”

Tradition was a weird word to use. She didn’t think assassins were a very good tradition.

“Child labor is unethical.” She said rather than that, which probably still communicated her point. Dad didn’t look very happy though.

“You need to watch your tone. It might offend some of our… enthusiasts.”

“I’m sorry for the outburst… but I’m not willing to budge on this.” Sara shook her head, “I’m not allowing it.”

“… That is a shame.”

Dad stood up and left. Sara sighed with relief, glad they didn’t have to delve into more unpleasantness. If she could go on, running the company like this… that would be good. The decision she made wasn’t ideal but it’d be better off in the end. She wouldn’t be that girl in those simulations.

So she went to her room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sara found no signs of father when she went to her desk the next day. Only Miley was sitting there, with a grin.

“Miley…?” Sara looked around thinking maybe he was hiding somewhere. He never missed her in the morning. “Where’s dad?”

“Ugh, what, you can’t function unless your daddy is here? That’s sad.” Miley said “Well, he wanted me to tell you that he doesn’t want to see you this morning.”

What a… what a ridiculous lie. Dad wouldn’t say that about her. He constantly wanted to be around her. Hearing someone say that… it was so annoying. Such a terrible thing meant to get under her skin. She felt offended.

“Liar.” She fumed. “Contact my dad now.”

“Oh you look red.” Miley smirked “Struck a nerve? Ehehe.”

“ Now.” 

Miley let out the longest sigh Sara had ever seen a person let out, and then picked up her phone to dial her dads’  number. Sara felt so frustrated having to rely on Miley’s cell phone since she didn’t have her own but it did its job.

“Hello? Emiri?”

“Your daughter is here.” Miley commented, her voice with a mocking edge.  “She wants to talk to you.”

“Ah I see.” Her dad's voice came out stern “Sorry Emiri. Tell her I still don’t want anything to do with her right now.”

I don’t want anything to do with her. What a cruel way to put it. He gave her every bit of attention but now he didn’t want anything about her? Was that it? Is that how disposable she was?

“I’ll tell her. Sorry to bother you sir.” Miley hit ‘end call’ and looked at Sara “Looks like he told you to piss off! Ahahaha!” 

“… That’s not what he said.”

Miley shrugged as she walked down the halls.

“Just come to the computer lab. It’s lesson time.”

~~~~~~

After a lesson with Miley that was more agonizing than normal (If Miley was taking the opportunity of her dad's ignorance to be nasty or if she was just miserable she didn’t know) she hoped the next day would be normal. 

She spent the next morning completely agonizing over how to get ready. She had to look perfectly in shape if she wanted to show her dad her prowess, and she had to practice being professional and perfect for as long as possible. She had to repress her growing frustration and tiredness.

She went to her desk, finding dad was still absent, but at least, so was Miley. She sat down with her hands folded for an hour. Two hours. By the third hour her practiced smile slipped into a frown. Her instructor for the day would have arrived by the first hour. Had  lessons been cancelled? She didn’t get a memo. She still continued to stay for the duration of when she had class. Nobody came.

The next day she did the same thing. The day after, she left halfway through because nobody showed up.

What was going on? Shouldn't she get to know that?! She went to her dad's office now, knocking a little harder than intended. It was hard not to come off as depraved when she hadn’t spoken to anyone for three days.

“Dad? It’s Sara! I want to talk!”

There was no response so she knocked again.

“Dad! I’m sorry about what happened, can we please talk it out?”

Nothing. She knew on the third attempt she’d become totally unprofessional, so she left and went to watch some of the anime dvds she had in the rec room. She didn’t have everything from home but some of her favorites like Revolutionary Girl Anthy were here.

“I’ll just take the time to watch this while I’m not having lessons…” she whispered to herself “It’ll be like a self care week...”

She promised that but the next day she couldn’t find the strength to walk to the rec room. Her mind was filled with horrible thoughts of how dad hated her and she had nobody anymore. Nobody here liked her even. She would be alone forever. She just laid in bed sleeping the thoughts away.

She did go to the rec room the next day, (still in her nightgown) and binged the entire series in a sitting. She even got a servant to bring her popcorn and candy. Though the fact it ended left her wondering what to do next alongside other things. ‘Where is dad? He even cancelled my lessons. Does he not want me anymore? Am I going to be tossed out like those other employees?’  The more she laid, and became inactive in bed…the more her intrusive thoughts grew. They coiled around her, as though a snake were suffocating her. Asunaro would be the snake…so she thought.

The next day she wandered through the halls in her nightgown. She didn’t really know what to do… she had found a library but most of the books from what she’d seen were Asunaro propaganda trash. There was an art gallery but that made her think of the art gallery from the death game. All her games were meant to be played with other people and that was meaningless without…

Her eye caught him speaking to another servant in the halls. Her feet moved before her mind did and she wrapped her arms around his torso.

“DAD!”

“Guh- Sara-“

“Dad, I missed you so much, whatever I did wrong I can fix it, just please please, let me see you again…” 

“Sara…” she waited for a hand to pet her hair or circles on her back but instead she got…

“What are you wearing?”

Sara flinched. She was still wearing her nightgown. She hadn’t done anything all day but…

“I’m sorry! I’ll go change!”

She ran to her room as quickly as she could, dressing in one of her suits, brushing her hair from the tangled mess it had become in the past few days, and even doing a bit of make-up. She never liked make-up, but it would do some wonders for her appearance.

She quickly ran back out towards where she found dad, but saw he wasn’t standing there anymore. Oh. So she screwed up again. She should probably look like this all the time then. Duly noted.

She spent the next week asleep in her room for the most part, aside from the fact that the suits she would change into in the morning were really uncomfortable to sleep in. Still it’d be inconvenient if dad came in and she was wearing her nightgown in the middle of the day.

Finally, a servant who delivered her dinner came to give her a message.

“Your father would like to see you in his office after you’re done with this.”

“He… he would?” Sara wasn’t sure if that was true or a lie. She half expected this servant to take it back and say it was a cruel joke.

“Yes. Please see him. With the contract tomorrow he wants to set things straight.”

Right. The contract. Sara completely forgot. She wolfed down her food, and changed her suit, brushing every last knot out of her hair and doing make-up for that extra measure. She was going to make things right.

She knocked on the door to her dad's office with vigor, unable to contain her excitement over the idea of speaking to him after two weeks.

“Dad! I’m here!”

“Sara.” Her dad's voice came from the other side of the door “Come on in.”

Sara practically burst in, running in to hug dad.

“Dad! Thank you thank you thank you!” She chanted holding him tight “I promise you won’t regret letting me back in!”

“Sara…” Her dad ran his fingers through his hair just like he used to. Sara was in heaven. “We still have much to talk about.”

Sara felt her breath catch. She knew where this was going. No. No no no how could she forget? How could she be so stupid? She just let herself run here without any idea of how she was going to talk to dad because she was so concerned about seeing him-

“Sit.”

And so, Sara sat down. Dad didn’t sit at his usual desk chair though. He sat right at her eye level. Sara wasn’t sure if that was better or worse. He was closer to her but that also meant he could read her every movement and thought. She hated the idea of being seen for what she really thought.

“The contracts are coming tomorrow.”

So they were. Sara still didn’t want to sign the assassins contract. But she didn’t want to get kicked out. She held her tongue, folding her hands. Dad smiled at her good behavior.

“I understand you must still have reservations with… our former contract.” Dad said looking her in the eyes. He was right on the mark. Sara did not want him to know that though. If he did…

She hated this. She didn’t want to make that choice. So why was she acting like this? Why did she keep performing for him even though it was wrong?

“I see…”

“I’m sorry…” Sara said quietly. Dad sighed but… he didn’t kick her out. He took her shoulders in his hands. Not with a squeeze. A gentle touch.

“Sara. Asunaro is different from what you know.” He said “You know that right?”

Sara bit her lip. She knew that better than anyone else. She nodded.

“Assassins are… well they seem strange to you- and all those tv shows and movies you watched… they didn’t help. But it’s normal here.” He said “Just as normal as eggs for breakfast.”

Sara gave a mechanical nod. She didn’t want to agree. But she didn’t want to argue. She didn’t know Asunaro anyways. It was weird and strange. Why dad didn’t start her here she’d never know. She didn’t want to know Asunaro. But she was Asunaro. Asunaro has been her life since she was a child. Who was she to argue? Especially when she had nothing else.

“And well… the risks with your plan… they’re untold. They’re dangerous. They might screw up. I know you want to be the better person but it’s not the ideal solution you think it is.” He said “I was mad that you would ignore my advice. I thought you were better than that. I’m sorry if you were upset by that.”

“I understand. It’s alright.”

“You understand…” her dad echoed, sounding unconvinced “Well then, Sara I want you to do something for me.”

Sara felt her skin crawl. She knew what was coming. She was unable to stop it. She was cold and alone and making a choice.

“Tomorrow, when you have the contracts, look me in the eye and tell me you’re going to make the right choice.” Dad said, “Can you do that sweetie?”

Sara wanted to break down into tears. She wanted to say no but what would dad do then? Did she really want to sell away futures just so her dad would keep loving her? But she knew it wasn’t just as simple as that. What about Gin and Keiji? What about Shin? What if he went a step up and took away more? What if he just decided she wasn’t worth it and demoted her to dying like Kai? That’s what she used to justify her decision when she looked into dad's eyes.

“I’ll sign the assassins contract.”

“I’m so proud of you sweetie…” 

Dad hugged her telling her how brave she was and that he had the strongest samurai woman in the world. Sara felt sick. Every praise made her sick, and she continued feeling sick until the next day when she signed the contract. She felt like circles were being run around her. The nausea within her built up slowly and methodically. Every passing second she was stuck in this hell, she was slowly bending to Dads will. She didn’t even do it because she thought it was right like dad insisted with his claims of how her solution was not the ideal one. She did it to please him. To make him love her. Did she just revolve around him now? Sara…could she ever make a choice for herself again? The title of heiress meant nothing if the heiress didn’t get a say. What…was 15.5% even worth?

The thought was ripped from her mind.

“So that was a huge waste of time.” The goon said. Sara was pretty sure he was the same one as before but he might be different. All these Asunaro goons looked the same to her. Either way it was done.

“Hey… dad?” She asked when the traumatic pieces of paper were taken out of her face, her voice devoid of feeling

“Yes, sweetie?”

“Why does Asunaro have assassins?”

“Oh lots of reasons.” Dad said, “They’re incredibly useful. Maybe I should have you see some in action sometime.”

Chapter Text

Keiji didn’t really like public transport.

Back where he came from, it was either walk or bike everywhere. Even on the old errand bike, he didn’t have the greatest sense of control due to the busted brakes. It was only for short bursts of time that he went to places on his own or with his mom; but public transport was a different story. He was being taken somewhere by someone he didn’t know, and could only be assured by the other strangers in his midst that the driver wasn’t going to drive them off a cliff since hey, they all seemed to trust the guy, despite never breathing a word to him before. Kinda weird if you asked him. Still, he was taking a long trip out and he had a lab to see.

Mr Policeman just hoped nobody was staring at his newly dyed, vivacious hair. So many people looking over when he hadn’t really done a good job getting the old color out made him just a little self conscious. Hopefully with his next attempt he could wash out the rest of the yellow. 

The bus came to his stop, thankfully with zero cliffs driven off, and he stood up with a grin and gave a thumbs up to the driver who looked at him with complete and utter disinterest. Keiji simply took that as a sign to be happy that his hair wasn’t the most outlandish thing this man had seen in his line of work. Gifted with a nice if a bit sobering thought, he walked off- making his way to where he’d be staying for the next few days.

Yes, the cheap motel he rented a room in wasn’t the best place here, and it smelled pretty bad, but it was affordable. Plus,did he expect to walk into that nice hotel on the other side of town and not get kicked out immediately when they looked him up and down for more than a minute? No, this was better;even if the mattress felt a bit… springy. He definitely couldn’t rely on bringing anyone here, although he had too much of a clear goal in mind to focus on that.

“Do you know how I can get to this address?” He asked, showing the old woman behind the counter the location of the lab.

“Hm… yep, just go down the street, make a left, go straight, make a right… then another right, straight, left, straight, right, straight and you’ll see it after a mile.”

“Perfect.” Keiji took the slip of paper back, tucking it away in his pocket. “Thanks for the help, Madam.”

“Yes, just don’t make too much noise. I don’t want any rumors about me getting back to this place.” The old woman looked back to her newspaper and Keiji coughed. Nice woman.

Unfortunately, the instructions did get a little bit mixed up in his head on the way. He should have written them down… whoopsie daisy. But, good for him, he made it with some other instructions and found a sign on the door.

“Temporarily Closed.”

Closed? Keiji looked at the time allotted for being closed. All the days he was here. Right on the dot. Did he have to pick the worst time possible to scout this place out? 

No, this wouldn’t stop him. There were people around this town, and possibly members of the lab. He could ask them plenty of questions.

“Looks like Mr. Policeman is going to investigate around town.” He muttered to himself- he wasn’t sure how much people knew about the goings on of this place, but he didn’t bring a pad and pen just to waste them. He could go back into town and ask.

Now- how did he get here again?

~~~~~~

“That place?” The first woman on the streets he stopped answered his question with a question “I think they mostly study coding and robotics and stuff.”

“Perfect.” Keiji wrote that down, “and can you tell me about an Emiri Harai and Michiru Namida?”

“Uh… why?” She asked. “Are you a stalker?”

Okay. Fair but ouch. People were mean.

“I’m actually a policeman, and I have reason to suspect they’ve been caught up in criminal activity.” He said.

“Policeman.” The woman repeated, “Then explain your hair.”

Oh yeah. That probably wouldn’t fly.

“It’s uh… naturally this color.”

“So if I called the police right now, would they recognize you?” The woman asked.

“Eheh….” Whoops, maybe he shouldn’t have bluffed. “Mr. Policeman might be in trouble.”

“Please leave sir.”

“Okie dokie.”

Okay so attempt number one was a massive failure. Thankfully, he knew more of what to do when he tried attempt two.

“Do you know about Emiri Harai and Michiru Namida?”

“Uh… who?”

“They used to work at the lab in this town. If you know anything, I’d like to know.”

“Sorry nothing.” The man shook his head. “Uh, isn’t that place temporarily closed?”

Okay… next.

“Hm? Yeah. I work there.” A young woman said. Now he was getting somewhere. “Uh, we kinda don’t talk about Harai.”

“Any reason why not?” Keiji asked, “I won’t tell anyone.”

“It’s just… sort of a downer story and she left afterwards. I just don’t wanna talk about it, and I think most of us will be heartpressed to do so anyways.” She shook her head. “As for Namida… she disappeared into thin air a year or two before, and she usually had her work rejected or pushed aside before then- but I looked and she seemed… ambitious. Maybe pushing limits at times. Though sometimes her ideas seemed kind of scary.”

“Can you give me an example?” Keiji asked.

“Not without leaking classified information.”

“Okay. Still this is good info.” He nodded, “Can you give me more of your coworkers contact info so I can talk to them?”

“Um… sorry.” The girl shook her head. “I find you a little too untrustworthy to do that.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What on earth were you doing?!” The old woman exclaimed once he came back on the second day, an invigorated flame of frustration in her eyes

“Uh… I beg your pardon?” He asked, rubbing his neck.

“Rumors have come back to this place of some creep going around asking about women who used to live in the area!” The old woman shouted, “You’re saying they don’t have anything to do with you?”

“Geez, why do they have to call me a creep? Is it the hair? Or the eyebags?”

The old woman grumbled something before throwing a magazine at Keiji that he moved his head to dodge. He leaned over to pick it up and offer it to her.

“You want this back?”

The old woman growled, snatching it up, rolling it in a tube, and hitting him on the head.

“I need an explanation of why you’re asking about random women around town unless you want me to kick you out!”

“Uh…” that might be a problem. He had no way to explain the death game without looking crazy. Also he very much didn’t want to talk about…. that. Oh boy. How did he…

“Well?!” The woman hit him again, “Do it before I call the cops!”

Okay well he did not want that. With a deep breath, his mind just formulated the best excuse possible.

“There’s a girl… stuck with an abusive father.”

The magazine left his head and surprisingly did not come down on his head again.

“I’m listening.”

Gulp. How did he explain this now? His mind swirled to find an explanation, the hidden frustration far from visible on his face.

“She’s a good kid… takes on a lot of responsibility-and I wanted to look into her fathers company for some kind of… way to get her out. Those people I was asking about do work for the company.”

“I see…” the old woman sighed, “Should have been straight out about that to the people who were wondering if you were a stalker. Would have saved us both a lot of trouble.” The woman emphasized this, a hardened but empathetic glare in her eye.

“Whoopsie.” Keiji chuckled, “I guess it’s a bad habit.”

“Well, if it’s a big company and your affordings are this motel, then good luck with that.” She contemplated, the pessimistic view glazed over within her elderly eyes. “Probably not evenly matched as it is.”

“… Yeah…” He said, “Trust me. I know.”

~~~~~~~~~

On day three, old lady tossed a bagel at him.

“Huh. What’s the free food for?” He asked, looking at the old lady through the hole.

“Breakfast. I haven’t seen you eat once in the past few days.” She said, “Now get out of my face.”

“Aye aye.” Keiji strolled out, taking a whole bite out of the bread. Surprisingly not bad, he thought. Could use some toppings to be honest.

His results were similar to the other two days but seeing how he was leaving tomorrow, he pushed himself to his limits. Going through to every shop owner, every shopper, and every restaurant in the area, and yet he hadn’t come up with any better than what he’d heard before.

“Heh. Got so much intel my notebooks gonna burst.” Keiji chuckled, his laidback smile briefly growing on his face once he came back into the motel, “But I think those rumors are catching up to me.”

“I’ll defend you if it comes up big guy, but don’t expect people to believe a story as outlandish as yours.” Old lady had her nose in her newspaper, seemingly deep in thought.

“Yeesh, don’t sugarcoat it so much will ya?” Keiji shrugged “Well, it’s back to my room for me. Talk about a-“

“Wait a second, purple. I got something for you.” She interrupted the built, purple-haired man. Briefly, she glances away to grab an item in a hurried manner. 

Old lady took a card out of her pocket, sliding it across the table. Keiji looked at it with an eyebrow raised.

“...Somebody came in here and said they could provide information if you come to this bar. Might be worth checking out.”

Taking the card and flipping it over it seemed inconspicuous. Still, The normally brash old womans’  avoidant gaze, her trembling voice… it was atypical behavior. It all seemed to point to something suspicious. Just who gave her this card?

If his train of thought was right, he absolutely wanted to know.

“Thanks a ton.” He grinned, “Mr. Policeman is thankful.”

~~~~~~~~

Mr. Policeman hadn’t ordered anything to drink. The last thing he needed was to be inebriated during this meeting, and he didn’t suspect the person he’d be having a mysterious meeting with would be coming in to grab a drink either.

Come to think of it, there might be more than one. He may have just walked into a no-way-to-escape murder attempt. Should he leave?

He started to move from his chair, ready to leave from this poorly thought out attempt but…

“Thank you… for everything.”

Nope. He was sitting down again. He had plenty of time avoiding death. He sacrificed a young girl to live. His decision was made back at the banquet; he wasn't scared of death and went back on it. This was not the moment to falter.

“Hey, how’s it going stranger?” A man sat down next to him, a slight tip of his hat. “You look a little worse for wear if I  can say.”

So… they were here. There were a few anxious and intrusive thoughts in his mind but he paid them no mind (heh). Keiji had to focus.

“Can I ask who I’m talking to?” Keiji grinned at the obvious Asunaro goon. “You’re the first person to talk to me for info in these past few days instead of the other way around.”

“Ah… an old friend you could say.” The man smiled, “You’ve seen me before… haven’t you?”

Keiji studied the man. Was he someone from the police force? Another Midori? The voice sounded familiar but he couldn’t place any facial features this person had to anyone he remembered. The man just patiently smiled like he was waiting. It was sort of annoying to be honest.

“Can Mr Policeman get a hint?” He asked jovially, an eyebrow raised expressively.

“Hm…” the man frowned, seemingly just as annoyed at the fact he wasn’t recognized. “Fine. I’ll just say I’m a caring father.”

The world stopped turning for a minute. It had to make adjustments. It had to become a world where the head of Asunaro, and Sara Chidouins father was sitting next to him, with a thin smile. A world where he was alone with someone he had only seen nightmares of a bandaged face of. Someone who ruined his life and then did it again just because he could. Had to adjust to the fact his eyes were seeing an orange-headed girl in a school uniform with her hands tied together next to this man, not saying a word… as she was forced to abandon the connections she had made, and possibly the only people that truly regarded her wellbeing.

“What have you done with Sara?” Once Keiji regained his inhibitions, he slammed his hand on the table, staring this disgusting man in the eye for the first time, the state of the lone bartender who was with them in the establishment flitting their way. “If you’ve hurt her…”

“Detective, please don’t jump to conclusions.” Meister smiled, waving a hand to signal mister bartender to leave. The man, probably sensing the look of authority from him,shrugged and headed into the back. Then Meister continued. “Sara is learning how to become the successor of Asunaro, just as promised. Did you think I would hurt my own daughter?”

 “You put her in a death game.” He growled, knowing well that he was up to no good.

“Only because I knew she’d win.” The poor excuse for a father smiled, looking almost proud. “Well, not in the way I expected, but I found a solution to the ties she made.”

“Go to hell.” Keiji remembered telling him that back when their little deal was being made but he didn’t emphasize it enough. He hoped this man burned for what he did. Hell, if he wanted to, right now he could-

“You need to work on your temper. That’s what lead to your first trial outcome if I believe.”

The fire in Keiji’s eyes and his anger froze over. He realized he was standing and towering over Mr. Chidouin and remembered the real reason he was here. He had no choice… so he sat down.

“The old lady said you had information for me?” 

“Oh I told her to say that. But I think we both know that’s not what actually happened.” The man shrugged, “I want to ask you a few questions.”

… It wasn’t going to be in a good situation if he left without answering. It was best to give an exaggerated sigh and rub the back of his neck like this was an everyday occurrence.

“Shoot.”

“I thank you for the compliance, officer.” Meister grinned. “I just mostly want to know since… even after the events of the game, my daughter seems unhealthily attached to you.”

“… Uh-huh?” Keiji didn’t really know what that meant. He hadn’t seen Sara (at least the real Sara) once since the end of the game. He wouldn’t know what Meister was talking about. “Care to give your friendly Policeman a clue what that means?”

“It means.” Meister gave him a hardened stare. “I’m worried she might value you more than the father she has.”

… Oh. Was he supposed to feel good about that? If so, why did it make him feel a little sick? He almost felt like he was being set up to disappoint with a line like that.

“Huh. I wouldn’t be too convinced. Have you seen me?”

“Oh come on Shinogi. I saw every bit of footage of the death game.” That made his skin crawl more. The idea of them being surveyed and monitored every second by a watchful father was a horrifying thought. “You were one of her worst influences in that game.”

Keiji should have known to take those words from this person as a compliment, a sign that Sara didn’t do as he wanted and became a martyr instead of a slaughterer, but the wrong ideas went through his head. Sara’s want to repress, the growing bags under her eyes, the hallucinations she dealt with, all were traits she shared with him. His eyes drifted to the hallucination who looked away in guilt.

“Putting you with her really was my greatest mistake.” Meister sighed, leaning his head on his hand in a contemplative way. “In the simulations you were constantly clawing at each other. Not a moment of respect. I figured if you were forced to be closer to her, she’d just get tired and backstab you at the first opportunity, but fate had other plans.”

More and more, the way this man talked about his own daughter like a pawn felt sick. He talked about plans, simulations, ideas for what a child he raised would do if placed in a position, all like she was a piece of data and not a human being. Keiji was just a member of the equation. A… a…

“What do you mean ‘we were clawing at each other’?” He asked.

“Oh… Sara in the simulations- she was perfect.” Meister looked up, his eyes glazed over in complete and utter pride. “Able to kill, and wouldn’t let herself be killed… manipulated whoever she needed to get to the top. My perfect little girl in every sense of the word… though, easy enough for a detective to see through.”

Enemies. They were enemies in those computer tests and they put her with him to betray him. They didn’t expect it the other way around… But Sara just… was a kid. Keiji looked back at the hallucination. She was completely still. That… that was Sara. Sara was just… a normal kid who went down the wrong path because of him. Killing, manipulating… she would only do that because of him, she wouldn’t stop because of-

Keiji’s thoughts were interrupted, however.

“Gosh. Even when I thought she was going down the path I wanted in the real deal, she stopped when she heard your name.” He mused, an expression of frustration on his face.

Keiji looked back at Meister. The man was now glowering at him. He was being put on the spot. Because… 

“I didn’t…” Keiji couldn’t get a word in.

“Look, I only have one question for you and that’s all.” Meister waved a hand “You’re not going to get anywhere with your little investigation, we’re making sure of it, so I’m not worried. I just want you to answer one thing and you can be on your way, and we can pretend this never happened.”

Keiji’s head was spinning too much for this. He just… nodded his head, hoping that would make it realize that that was the only motion happening to it so he didn’t need to feel like his head was on a tilt-a-whirl.

“Then,” Meister proposed, an almost foreboding glint in his eyes. “Do you see Sara as a daughter?”

Keiji thought of a young girl…Sara Chidouin. A girl who had lots of weird witticisms and pressed buttons at random when all else failed. She trusted him, despite the fact nobody on earth would… She had a million strange jokes that she seemed to take completely seriously, and at the end of the day, needed a home to go back to when she found her parents home wasn’t an option.

Keiji thought of that young girl- Sara, who had a life. A friend. She didn’t have loving parents… but she had a will to survive. To put herself first. A Sara who would’ve known his life came secondary before she handed herself over to her father. A Sara he saw standing in front of him right now, tied up, because he ruined everything he touched.

“No.” He said, “I would never consider myself a father.”

Meister seemed satisfied with that answer, standing up with a grin.

“Then I’m on my way!” He exclaimed. “So long, Keiji Shinogi. I hope we don’t meet again.”

Keiji didn’t watch Meister leave. Just watched the hallucination as it slowly dissipated. There was something wrong with him… and he knew exactly what.

Chapter Text

“Come on…” Sara chanted to herself, biting her lip, sporting messy hair much different from her ‘perfect’ exterior. “Work, work, work …”

The monitor lit up, the bright screen illuminating the dark room. Sara intentionally didn’t turn the lights on to give the illusion that it was empty. Within the one solitary light in the entire room, Nao Egokoro looked back at her, looking the exact same as Sara remembered.

“Oh, Sara!” She smiled, as amiable and warm as she recalled. “It’s so good to see you! What’s with that suit you’re wearing?”

She did it. After her rigorous study of the AIs, sneaking out past midnight to work on this project, and doing it with no guide- lest she tip off her father, she took all of the coding knowledge Miley gave her, and every minute detail she could track down, to make a fully functioning AI of Nao Egokoro. An entire AI coded by her own hands, with the same knowledge Asunaro bestowed upon her. She almost considered running to show her dad before using her better judgement.

“You may have some gaps in your memory…” Sara sighed, “Sorry about that. Most of what I learned of you came from the Mishima AI, but I wanted to at least have a version of you here…”

“A version- What?” Nao tapped the screen with her hand, a distressed look crossing her face. “Wait, what is going on? I don’t want to sound accusatory Sara, but what you’re saying sounds like you programmed an AI of myself for our kidnappers. Are you in trouble?”

Ah- right. Nao wasn’t exactly up to speed about her situation. She only programmed her memories up to before the main game… before she received that horrible card, the one that sent Sara herself into a frenzy of trying to pass it onto others. Before they were shown the horrible reality of their escape. Sara put her hand on the screen.

“Don’t worry, Nao. Everyone else is safe. I just… negotiated for their safety.”

Nao somehow didn’t look too settled by that, her eyes withholding an indescribable emotion in them.

“Negotiated…?”

“It’s a little hard to explain but… my dad-“

Interrupted, the screen went black. Sara gasped at both the suddenness and the now pitch black room. Did she do something wrong with the programming? Or did Nao hate her for being the heiress of Asunaro?

Her thoughts spiraled, the dark room bringing back memories of before. A shiver going down her back, something grasped at her mind. Driving her instincts, a forgotten memory of the death game- her hands trembled. The auburn-haired girl looked down at her barely visible, and trembling hands. Dad, where…!

 Her instincts took over, and she tried to run back over to the computer when the door opened up, the light switching on.

“I thought I heard voices… so it was you, Ms. Sara…”

Messy green hair, nurse scrubs and a mask, and a pair of glasses that she could only see over one eye, since the other was covered by her hair. She’d recognize that reclusive demeanor anywhere- it snapped her out of the forgotten feeling.

“Safalin…”

“I’m sorry for cutting your conversation short, Ms. Sara… I just think what you’re doing wouldn’t fall under jurisdiction.” Safalin explained. “May I… see the Nao AI’s code?”

“You aren’t going to delete it are you?” Sara found herself jumping to defensive. It was hard not to when she knew who she was talking to.

“No, no no!” Safalin put up her hands. “I just want to see what the code looks like!”

Sara didn’t want to show Safalin the code for Nao, but she also didn’t want to see what happened if she told her no. Reluctantly, she led her to the computer and pulled up her wonderful code that she spent so long on.

“Hm…” Safalin scrolled through, making occasional hums and muttering “I see…” too frequently.. Sara felt like she was the one being watched, with this whole test.

“Ms. Sara.” Safalin stopped, glancing upward to speak after her prolonged focus. “I see you’ve learned from Ms. Harai, but this could still use a lot of work. If you were talking to that Nao AI for much longer, the bugs would have started showing.”

“No way…” Sara shook her head, suspicious of it. “Like what?”

“Maybe she would start repeating sentences, or forget what you said a moment before… it’s nothing to beat yourself up about.” She explained. “Of course the biggest thing to work around is the fact that Asunaro doesn’t have as much data on her as say, Mishima would. Though humans forget things all the time, and having her only remember so much is a problem. It’s practically an amnesiac AI, and that may affect her negatively in ways. Do you understand?”

“… Even if I fixed that, I still won’t be allowed to talk to her, right?” Sara crossed her arms, a sour taste spreading throughout her mouth. “Or any of my allies.”

“… You can still have it as a keepsake.” Safalin offered. “For now, why don’t you go to bed Ms. Sara? You look exhausted.”

 Sara crossed her arms, knowing the look on her face was indignant and bitter. But she walked out, polite as she could, happy to collapse into bed. It was three in the morning and she had work tomorrow. Better to be rested so she didn’t make a wrong choice.

~~~~~~~~

A few weeks later, Safalin came to Sara after her lessons were over, dressed in a lab coat. 

“Ms. Sara, I have something for you. If you will follow me to computer lab 6A.”

Sara didn’t know how to take that. Another trap? A way to lead her somewhere? She looked around, making sure nobody else was in the vicinity to come out and deliver the cruel punchline, before nodding her head and going after her, to a lab different from the one she and Miley worked in. There were plenty more screens than in her and Miley’s lab, and the tech looked way more advanced.

“Safalin… what is this?”

“I’ve been… working.” Safalin admitted, ”and I wanted to come up with a way for you to see the AI’s of your fallen comrades without violating the rule your father has about not interacting with them.”

“You… wha?” Sara wasn’t sure she understood, but Safalin continued towards the machine, typing up something Sara wasn’t able to glean. “What is this?”

“I’ll start you with just Mishima.” Safalin pressed the button to start the program, and Sara watched the monitor turn to a vivacious island atmosphere. A gorgeous landscape. What…? She found herself confused even further. “Enjoy it as you like.”

“Safalin, what am I looking at?”

“If anyone asks you, just alternate scenarios of the death game.” Safalin explained. “Now I need to be somewhere quick. Turn it off when you’re done Ms. Sara.”

Sara looked at everyone getting along on screen. It looked a little too good to be true. But as she turned to ask Safalin questions she saw… a dulled stain of crimson blood on the back of her lab coat.

… Any questions dried up. She let her go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A week passed and Sara was sitting in one of the lounges with Safalin.

“So, Ms. Sara.” Safalin tapped her clipboard with a pen. “Are there any comments or changes you’d like to make to the island simulation?”

Sara did indeed have those. A small list, in fact. As overjoyed as she was to have her friends back, she wanted to make changes to the way this system was run.

“Can you make it so they can’t die?” Sara asked, her eyes brimming with the smallest bit of hope. “I know it rarely happens, but I don’t want that stuff to be happening, period.”

“Ah… see, that's our workaround.” Safalin said. “It’s insanely risky if your father catches us doing this, since you’re technically not supposed to engage with your former participants and candidates again. However, if we do something like, make it a survival scenario, and tamper with memories, then we can call it an Asunaro experiment involving how the lack of memory affects grieving, and how that also affects survival with a group of people who we’ve already seen a real life survival attempt from. Does that make sense?”

So that’s how it was. Sara didn’t like the idea of treating her friends as an experiment, but Safalin was sticking her neck out for her. She would just have to puff out her cheeks and move on.

“Okay. Then is it possible to add the dummies?” She asked. “I want them all on the island. Anzu, Mai, Kurumada, Hayasaka, Hinako… even Ranmaru. They all deserve a place.”

“You want Hinako there?” Safalin asked, “Hinako did mean to betray you, you know.”

Right… Sara did spend many nights deliberating over Ranmaru and what he did (even though she had no right. That was all her fault,) but Hinako… She was an Asunaro spy. She was one of the members of death game staff meant to bring it to this conclusion. She was Sara’s enemy.

A 14 year old child. Her enemy.

A 14 year old child. Dead.

A 14 year old child. Roses growing out of her skin.

“I want Hinako there.” She affirmed. “If you have an AI of Kai, I’m sure you have an AI of her, right? You can incorporate her in there?”

Safalin looked at her, surprise etching her features.

“Well, I’ll do what I can Ms. Sara. The dummies might take away from our ‘Sample’ argument since they weren’t technically part of the death game group, but I will see if I can have them as a side group similar to what we had before.”

“Thank you. I appreciate it.” Sara smiled, feeling a warmth spread within her for a brief moment. 

“Yes. So what’s next?”

“Um next… there is someone in the sims who I don’t recognize but seems to know me.” Sara looked down, twiddling her thumbs. More memories surfaced- ones that she had repressed and forced down over, and over. She asked reluctantly. “Can you tell me about Joe…?”

Safalin stopped writing, a melancholic look on her face as she looked back up at her. Sara  didn’t really like it. It felt like pity.

“I’m sorry, Ms. Sara.” She looked back at the clipboard. “I cannot tell you that.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Again. This was the second time she did something and dad started to ignore her. She just got… she got caught up in how kind everyone was in the island simulation and wanted to make them proud, but- but they were just… they didn’t know her.

“Safalin-“ she finally caught her in the halls. “What do I-“

“Ah, Ms. Sara-“ Safalin’s eyes widened, and she quickly spoke above a whisper. “I’m not supposed to talk to you.”

“But, but I…”

“I’m sorry.” She shook her head. “The island simulation is still available.”

Sara was left with those words… the island simulation? She couldn’t talk to them… they didn’t know she was there… they were just pixels on a screen… but… but still… they… they were…

She shambled to the computer lab, turning on monitors for Gin, Reko, and Qtaro. A wave of calm that she hadn’t felt for a while washed over her. Right. This was okay. She was safe here. They… these people didn’t know what she was. They talked to the version of her that existed and smiled at how she hadn’t harmed anyone yet. She could have this and this alone.

“At least… you’re there for me…” She murmured, and stayed there until she fell asleep. Here she was happy. Here she was with everyone.

Here… here she was just a regular high school girl.

She closed her eyes with a soft smile, happy that within a cold reality she had one warm delusion.

Chapter Text

“Looooner!” Gins’ voice came out just as high pitched as ever. “Take a picture of me, meow!”

“Are you sure?” Shin asked, “It might look embarrassing when you see it…” Not that he was speaking from personal experience, or anything.

“Stop doing that every time, woof!” Gin whined. “Just take the picture!” 

Well Shin couldn’t help if he wanted to pass out warnings. He sighed, taking his phone to frame a jovial Gin swinging from the monkey bars and beaming from ear to ear. Aaaaand-

Click

“Okay. It’s taken.”

“Well duh. The flash went off, meow.” Gin jumped down running over to see the photograph. Shin sighed, handing over the phone; who knew that taking pictures was so exasperating? This is just one reason he had no pictures of himself. “Heeheehee. I look so good. Send that to mom, woof!”

“You want her to keep it?”

“Obviously, meow!” Gin bounced up and down. “And, afterwards, I want you to come in the sandbox!”

Shin cringed. Sand. Everywhere. Messy. He could already imagine the grains getting in his hair, and all over his clothes. That’d be what hell looked like.

“I’ll sit outside of it.”

“I’ll make you come in someday.” Gin smirked mischievously, before running away holding Mew-Chan above his head. Shin dreaded when that day would come.

Shaking his head, he assured himself that the depths of hell (where he was certainly headed when he was done with this living coil that shouldn’t be alive in the first place) would freeze over the day he played in the sandbox. He texted Nana the image.

Shin: Gin’s having the time of his life here.

He looked over at Gin by the sandbox… pouring a whole bucket of sand over himself. A shiver ran down his spine. He could delay the process by just a little bit. There was no way he would experience that much sand until a sand-storm took his life in the desert, and that was 100% unlikely.

Curious, he looked back at his phone and found that Keiji’s contact was left idle.

Ugh. Mr. Policeman. At this point he texted him more for his own personal amusement rather than for a response. He had gotten a typing bubble one time, and that was by invoking the kind of fury he was trying to rid himself of. The signs his messages were seen was enough to at least know the guy hadn’t offed himself or anything but that was it.

Shin: Hey, officer piss, I’m actually at the park getting sunlight. It’s the worst. Take your damn kid back so I can rest.

And send! He waited to see that Keiji had read the message. Tch. He did but he didn’t respond. Not that he expected him to.

“LOOOOONEEEEEER!” The shout of an excitable, hyped up twelve-year old was enough to make a tired, hadn’t gone to sleep until 1 am last night Shin slouch down five stories, and never straighten his back again. That was also his sign he took too much time. He stuffed the phone away, going over to Gin and his million particles of sand.

“So what do you wanna do? Sand castle?” He was trying.

“I wanna find the sandman!” Gin smiled. “He’s the one responsible for dreams, meow! I wanna catch him, woof!”

Oh goodness. Kids and their imaginations. Because of course a mythical creature was in the 25 by 50 sandbox at the local park. Shin briefly considered coming back another day after Gin’s search turned up badly and planting one of his anime figurines to make him happy, before fiercely deciding he did not want one of them covered in sand, or for Gin to realize where it came from. He’d probably get bored within the day anyways. Ah well, he could handle the kid looking for the dream-sprinkle man, or whatever the heck the guy did.

“Alright. Then what can I do?” He offered his services; somewhat reluctantly, but only because he knew he had no choice in the matter.

“Well, you’re super smart, right?” 

Okay, Gin was officially back on his good side after bringing him to the sand pit.

“Oh. Ahaha… well I don’t like to toot my own horn-“ lying, “but yeah. What do you need?”

“Come up with smart places for where the sandman is hiding, meow! I’ll look while you think!”

Oh yeah. Do some kidisms, think with a kids mindset, that sort of thing. Sheesh, to think Gin could still act like a little kid after everything. Shin was 24 years old and he already wasted his entire life. He envied that attitude sometimes.

“Er… maybe look under that bucket.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

In his house, kept in a room that Gin didn’t go in, he kept a flower.

He painstakingly took care of it, reading gardening tips from the internet, spending paychecks on mulch, and giving it as much water and sun as it needed- but never staying in that room too long. Afraid if he was in the same place as her, she would suffocate.

It took him courage to get it. At first he wanted to purge his death game memories. Purge any memory of the accursed place where he played pretend at being Hiyori. What was he thinking with that; when does anything involving Hiyori’s existence ever go well? That wretched girl led them with a melancholic smile and let them walk free. He didn’t want a reminder he failed a fourteen year old girl in his home. He wanted Miss Sara to pay; and so she did. This…wasn’t the outcome he wanted.

Ah…but nowadays he was just happy to have some way to keep her alive. He could never bear to face his sisters’ relatives straight on but at least he could face a plant.

Maybe someday he’d have something for Miss Sara too. Though, as of now, he didn’t like to think about Miss Sara for more than he had to. Maybe he could make something to apologize. Then he could lock it away, never to agonize in his head over whether poor Miss Sara was doing alright again. Still, he felt bad for her. The conflicting emotions in his head would frustrate him over, and over, until he couldn’t handle it. So, like every sane adult, who’d been through a bunch of shit, he’d repress the hell out of that one.

He groaned and shook his head, taking out his phone as he dragged a hand through his hair briefly.

Shin: just watered Kanna again.

Shin: do you have any weird Miss Sara memorabilia to grieve?

Shin: Er well she’s not dead but you did seem really torn up about her the last two times I saw you.

Shin: Uh sorry that was kinda insensitive.

And… read. Shin swore, one day he was going to text the wrong thing and Keiji was going to drive over to his house and beat him up. Although, then again, he’d accept any method for that damn cop to stop ghosting them.

To be honest, Shin had his doubts from the beginning how much Keiji really trusted his dear Miss Sara. He could see Qtaro, that giant muscles for brains just sitting back and letting a teenage girl lead them, but Keiji always struck him as more calculating. Like he wanted to use Miss Sara as a figurehead before he realized how charismatic and strong she truly was as an actual leader to stand behind. A right hand man who was there to put himself in high standing with the rest of the ranks by boosting a leader. Keiji wasn’t stupid. He had Miss Sara’s ear, and it was the ear of the most powerful person there.

Shin also knew of another person; one who took in a girl, even younger than Miss Sara and isolated her, used her to get a leg up in the game. One of those girls was alive today…the other was dead.

He spent every single day agonizing over Kanna Kizuchi. She’d sacrificed herself for someone as worthless as him. How was that fair, damnit? He wanted her back; to remember the kind smile of someone who was understanding. Too understanding, damnit, too naive. He didn’t want to think about what felt so fearfully familiar about that. He despaired over his stupid flower pot. There were days where he had to fight off a panic attack because he noticed the flower was wilting. Imagine how it felt knowing the person you cared about was still alive and trapped somewhere else because of you. Forever trapped, encased, the image of… vines with thorns, stabbing and piercing. The way they climbed her fragile body- and the way they had to fucking sit there and- and…now he looks at a single rose. The only thing he had left to save, the only thing that was left for him to not fuck up. Shin bit his lip, and he bit it hard- an old habit from holding his tongue. He did that a lot now, didn’t he?

Maybe in some ways he got Keiji. Understood him. In some ways- he hated being mean to someone going through the same thing as him. In others…

Shin: You know you are not in the death game anymore. Everyone’s moving on. You can just. Not be a piece of shit and ghost us.

Shin: jackass.

Read 10:36 am

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Say, Shin…” Nana said while they were out for coffee (Shin was getting warm milk,) one morning “I have a question for you.”

Shin took a slow reluctant gulp of his milk. Usually when Nana spoke in that tone of voice it meant she was curious about the death game. Shin had never really asked her not to talk about it anymore, but that was only because he figured silence would make him look guilty, and whatever Gin had to say would be way worse than the actual story. Once he decided he’d been drinking for long enough he smiled at her like he had no idea what she was going to say.

“Go on.”

“Well it-… it’s about this person from the incident who my son took a shine to… ‘Mr Policeman’ he calls himself;  but apparently he’s not a cop… his name is Keiji.”

Oh no. He described his entire history with Miss Sara, now did he have to tell Nana how much he despised another one of her sons' heroes? Hearing her describe the man to him in a way like she was trying to reason him out would honestly be quite hilarious if he wasn’t terrified.

“Yeah? What about him?” He asked casually, withholding the nervous swallow he could feel in his throat.

“Well… Gin keeps wanting to spend time with and be babysat by him, but he won’t respond to any of my calls or texts. I was wondering if you were able to get in touch.”

Oh. So Shin wasn’t the only one trying to text Keiji. It was funny, he sorta just thought maybe Nana sent the ‘it’s me Gin’s mom’ text and got nothing but apparently she was making a concentrated attempt to reach out through her son. Somebody who actually gave a shit about Keiji was being ignored deliberately.

“Does he leave you on read?” He found himself asking, and then internally kicked himself for being insensitive.

“Um… sometimes. Why?”

So. He doesn’t always read them. Shin got that luxury, but not the texts crying out that a child missed him. Good to know.

“Well it’s just… he does that to me every time I text… and I do that a lot. So it’s a little weird he doesn’t read yours…”

“He doesn’t respond?” Gin’s mom look befuddled.

“Just reads.” Shin murmured, letting a sigh loose.

“And you keep texting him?”

“If I tell you my thoughts on Keiji Shinogi, we’re going to be here all day, Nana.” Shin said.

“Well, now I’m curious.” Nana sat back, “But you haven’t gotten through to him is the basic gist?”

“Nope.” Shin shook his head. “Clearly not.” His answer was brash, and held absolutely no mercy for defending that annoying side-piece ripoff of an ex-detective.

“Then I guess it’s back to the drawing board.” She sighed. “This is turning out to be a bigger pain than it’s worth…”

Oh. Shin thought. You have no idea.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Shin: When are you gonna text Nana?

Shin: Gin misses you you stupid pig.

“Loner, are you looking,,meow?” Gin asked.

“Ah, yeah.” Shin shoved the phone away. Best not to let Gin see that business. “Maybe the sandman is… in one of those big hard chunks of sand.”

“Oooooh! Good idea meow!”

Gin grabbed a hard chunk of sand and began banging it against the brim. Shin decided to silently move a little further away to avoid getting sanded. He hoped Gin would get bored of this game soon because he was on his last threads of sanity here.

“Awww. He isn’t here, woof…”

“Hmm… well, you maybe wanna take a break and go on the swings?”  Shin could desperately use the swings.

“No! You keep suggesting other games! It’s an annoyance, woof!”

“Okay okay, carry on.” Imminent disappointment.

Shin tapped his leg on the ground as Gin played in the sand. 4 weeks. This was the fourth week he’d asked to come to the park and do this. Either he was really dedicated to this game or he was specifically trying to annoy him. Knowing that tyke, it could be either. Shin hadn’t shared that he hated sand yet but he thought he made it fairly obvious with just the way he acted. He learned from the worst week of his life that he was a terrible actor.

Not to mention, the game aspect didn’t seem appealing to him. Okay well obviously not to him but looking from a kids perspective it seemed weird to dwell. At some point you had to switch up the search. These things would just get dull in the attention span of a child so he thinks, and heck, even from the angle of making him suffer, he was starting to think it would lose its luster by week two if it was just the same method for hours on end. Why search for one person, one mysterious person, even while they alluded you forever? At some point you had to give up. 

Who even was the sandman? Shin pictured him as some golden creature, a god, though tired, made of grains of golden sand.

Gold. Tired.

Something clicked for him.

He didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to be wrong. If he was, he’d look like a massive idiot. Though Gin was still searching with his nose to the edges of the box.

It almost looked like he was poking his nose out, waiting for someone to show up.

Well it wasn’t like Gin thought he had any dignity.

“Gin… do you miss Keiji?”

Gin looked up to Shin, clearly disturbed from his hunt. Shin suddenly felt very uncomfortable with the fact he just brought the elephant in the room up to the 12 year old child and proceeded to try and walk it back before he decided to bring up any other open wounds this child might have.

“Uh, forget I said any-“

Gin’s arms swung towards him and he flinched, shutting his eyes, expecting the 12 year old to take out his furry fists of justice but… he realized he was being… hugged? Was that it? He winked an eye open and yep. That’s what was happening. Oh goodness, he was being hugged by a small child who he was pretty sure hated his guts.

“Gin…?”

“Can you hug me loner, meow?”

Shin then became aware of just how covered in sand Gin was. Shin could already feel the unbearable texture through his layers. Still, with a crying kid, Shin knew what had to be done. It was what he should’ve been doing a long time ago. Making a child feel loved so she wouldn’t think sacrifice was the answer. It was easy to embrace his discomfort as he wrapped his arms around the child, gently as possible.

“Hey, what’s up? Are you okay?”

“… I wish Mr. Policeman would talk to me. But he won’t.” Gin said “I knew I wouldn’t get to see big sis Sara after leaving the death game but… but I thought at first I’d at least get to see him…”

Gin’s voice cracked on the last sentence. Shin knew well when a kid was crying. He had been around enough crying kids for that to become apparent. The problem was he didn’t know what to say in the situation. What do you tell a child when he’s been abandoned by someone who they cared about?

“Everyone is gone… Big Sis Reko, Mr Qtaro, Big Sis Nao, and Mr Policeman won’t even talk to me…! And I know I caused trouble for everyone all the time…! Maybe he doesn’t like me anymore because…!”

Oh no. Oh absolutely not. What kind of burden was that to put on a child? What 12 year old should be thinking that? You do this after… after you toss away Kanna like dirt then turn around pretend you’re a fatherly companion, play house and then drop out when you don’t have to keep up appearances anymore? Then you dare to act like you ever cared?

“No, no way. I’d beat him up before he could imply that.” Okay he could not beat him up. “I’d hack into his computer and post all his embarrassing photos.” There.

“But…! Why else wouldn’t he talk to me?! I know he doesn’t talk to you!”

“C’mon, that’s…” Shin tried to find the words for why Keiji would start treating a 12 year old boy the same way he did the man who vocally wanted him dead. He didn’t really have any though. Go figure. “You’re a great kid. And if Keiji can’t see that, then that's his loss.”

“But… but I wanna see him! I wanna!” Gin cried. It mostly devolved into sobs from there. Shin, despite his best efforts to calm the child, was feeling an emotion he hadn’t really experienced since the death game. It had been called into a frenzy with Ms Sara’s deliberate surrender to save the rest of them, and Hiyori was left to simmer now that he was truly dead, and Shin annoyingly still missed him.

But the feeling of pure burning hot hatred, for a human being that was undoubtedly, scum of the earth was alit in his soul. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shin: this is the last time I’m texting you.

Shin: Whatever you do I’ve stopped caring. Frankly I wouldn’t be too sad to find out you were dead.

Shin: Do whatever. Let your precious Miss Sara know she wasted herself on a good for nothing parasite. I can’t bother anymore. Go to hell.

Shin put away the phone before he could see if his messages were read. Sometimes it felt good to regret and remember. 

Chapter Text

Keiji found his trip to the local library turned up negligent results. Most books on Asunaro he found only talked about a reputable, upstanding medical company that had a good reputation among citizens and various random acts they did for charity and common folk. You know. Propaganda. Not what he hoped for when he was hoping to do actual research but maybe he was getting his hopes a little too high thinking he’d find evidence of Asunaros many crimes at his local library. No surprise there.

The surprise came in the form of a girl wearing Sara’s uniform walk in to do her schoolwork. Jet black hair and narrow brown eyes made it so she couldn’t possibly be mistaken for her, but it was certainly enough to give Mr. Policeman pause.

Aside from the obvious, the thing that caught Keiji’s attention about this student was that she was alone. Keiji knew how missing persons incidents worked, and if two kids from this girls school went missing in the past year because of a supposed stalker, he wondered how she’d be let out of the house. She’d at least be told to bring friends with her, if she was not already completely uncomfortable with the idea of going out without guidance of a few safety buddies.

Actually, come to think of it, the idea of this girl being alone with nobody keeping track of her in those exact circumstances was making Keiji a little more uncomfortable than he’d normally be. Sara’s school was possibly still under Asunaro surveillance, and that meant bad things if Meister decided to take out the trash.

With a sigh, and telling himself there was no sentiment behind this decision besides logic, Keiji grabbed a seat near Sara’s potential school chum, carrying his books carefully in one arm.

“Hiya.” He waved. “Mind if your friendly policeman sits here?”

The girl raised an eyebrow. “Policeman? You look more like a cake pop than a policeman.”

Was that a comment about his hair? He laughed it off, hoping to brush off both the teenage cruelty, and the familiarity of how out of left field a comment like that was.

“I’m more of an ex-policeman, but I do know about the missing Sonobeno kids and recognized the uniform. You need someone to keep an eye on you with stalkers about.”

The girl's pen stopped, mid-writing, eyes protruding almost like a fish. Then her mouth curled in what Keiji could only describe as the physical manifestation of the word ‘bamboozled’. Ah, crud. He either made a mistake bringing up the missing kids case, or she recognized him as one of the kidnapping victims from recently. Neither option was good, he lamented as he was looked at up and down.

“Missing… Sonobeno… kids, you say?”

“…Yes indeed.” Keiji rubbed his neck. Oof, it’d be tough explaining his way out of this one. Maybe the news hadn’t spread, or maybe Asunaro wiped a few memories. He wouldn’t be surprised. The problem was figuring out which and rolling with it.

But when this girl practically jumped on top of her study materials, arms spread wide over her calculus with a crazy look in her eyes, Keiji somehow knew he was not dealing with that sort of thing.

“So you know about Sara?!” She demanded.

… Well, okay. That was a start.

“Do you?” He answered with another question.

“I tried to file a missing persons report and they said she didn’t exist!” The girl leaned back, throwing a piece of paper into the air for what Keiji could only suppose was dramatic effect. “It was insane! Joe was registered, but not her!!”

Oh yeah. Sara didn’t come up in any of his searches for her. That probably made the search for her a lot easier to manage for her father. Keiji found himself very glad he talked to this girl now if her dad was trying to wipe Sara Chidouin’s existence away.

“Huh. That does sound wild.” He smiled. “Good thing your friendly ex policeman is on the case.”

“Uh, not so fast asshole.” The girl proceeded to pull his shirt. Keiji could probably swat her off, but his real concern was the fabric stretching. “How do you know about Sara when the rest of the police don’t?”

Right… that was a complicated factor in this. Telling this girl what happened would probably be a more depressing story than whatever she was thinking, and he didn’t wanna crush a teenager’s dreams today.

“… She used to volunteer in the police force in middle school.” He lied easily. “She was smart.”

“Oh. So you think I’m stupid?” The girl flicked off Keiji, crossing her arms with a scowl. “I’m Ryoko Hirose. Sara’s best friend since middle school. And she never volunteered at the police station.”

Right… he should’ve figured lying to someone who clearly had more skin in the game than he did wasn’t the way to solve this predicament. 

“… Hey, she could’ve.”

“Is this a cover up?” Ryoko planted her hands on the table standing up. “Am I being played?”

Yes.

“Yeesh, you’re just like your friend.”

“HOW DO YOU KNOW SARA?!”

A clearing of the throat. Oh, there it was. Keiji’s eyes slowly turned to the side to see the librarian glaring Ryoko down.

“Alright, alright, I’m leaving.” Ryoko put her hands up, before making an ‘I’m watching you’ gesture to Keiji. 

Hm… so that went absolutely disastrously wrong, Keiji surmised. He mostly did nothing except piss off a teenager, and said teenager would probably hate him until it was possibly too late? Would Asunaro really kill off Sara’s last remaining friend like that?

Keiji thought of the faces of children much younger than that girl, and realized… yes, they sure would.

He didn’t really do the best work preventing that, did he? He doubted this girl would associate with him ever again. Good job Keiji, you’ve done it again.

Or so he thought, until he was on his walk home. Now, Keiji was a trained detective on the force, but it didn’t take a detective’s intuition to know that something was moving in the bushes. 

“Ryoko was it? I know you’re there.”

The shrubbery went quiet for a sec. Probably the best method when you get caught. Play dumb. Or maybe not, seeing how Sou did that and was easy to see through by just about everyone there. Nevertheless, Keiji walked over and cleared the way easily.

“Do you need Mr Policeman to walk you home?”

“Gaaah!” Ryoko held up her hands like the sunlight in her face hurt her. Keiji had to hold back a chuckle at that. Was she a vampire? Though after her moment of vampirism she stood up and brushed off the leaves. A frustrated look in her eyes; the dark-haired girl was exasperated. “I can’t believe you aren’t telling me anything.”

Honestly, not letting a teenage girl stalk him home felt like it fell under a different jurisdiction than ‘not telling anything’ but he wasn’t one to correct others. She did have a point amongst the stalking.

“… Well.” He rubbed his neck. “Sorry for the confidentiality I guess.”

The girl responded by blowing a leaf into his face. Deserved perhaps… but man. An action truly can say a thousand words or how the saying goes.

“This isn’t a game you know. My best friends are missing.” She glared at him. “They could be dead for all I know. This is my first lead, and you won’t give me an answer.” Hirose was adamant- the frustration clinging to her in an almost aura-like way.

Well… geez he had the answers but he didn’t think that this girl would like to hear them from a stranger.

Keiji knew that no leads would lead to what this girl was looking for. Joe was dead, Sara was gone and Asunaro was only keeping him alive for convenience's sake- since he couldn’t uncover the truth. He could be blocked at every turn. He was a mosquito. Their boss found where he was, blocked every move, and showed his face, because he was a giant chump in their eyes. Keiji was hopeless.

But Ryoko was a teenage girl with friends she loved. Swooped away in an instant by what she believed to be a stalker. Those kinds of situations never turned out well for any sort of teenage girl, and with the idea that she didn’t exist to anyone you know anymore, how can you not fall into despair? What person deserves to not know anything about the truth?

“… Sara is alive.”

“Huh?” 

“That’s all I’m saying.” He turned around, “Okie dokie. I’m off.” 

“Hey! What do you mean?!” Ryoko yelled, spinning around as she began to speed after him. “Hey! Hey! Ex Policeman!!”

Well. It was good to have one more reason to keep hope alive he supposed. Guess he had more reason to work hard now. Not like he wasn’t doing that before but hey. Couldn’t hurt to pack it on more.

Chapter Text

“Sir, it’s about time you slept. It’s late into the night.”

It was one of the people he had posted around the building for Sara’s sake. Yumi was it…? He hired so darn many, all these names were getting mixed up, but it was up to somebody to remember since his little angel only called them servants. A bit harsh in his opinion, but he could live with it. He didn’t bring them here for her to get friendly after all. Quite the opposite, considering his last hired help.

“Just take the rest of the night off Yumi. I’m staying here for a while.”

“My name is Miyuki.” She muttered in a distant tone.

Ah. Whoopsie daisies. The head of the Chidouin family laughed it off waving a hand.

“Well Miyuki, have a very good rest of the night. I have a daughter who needs me.”

Miyuki left, muttering what one would guess to be a few choice words for her boss. That would be talked about later. For now, Sara had clearly been nervous about her dear old dad leaving her for the night, so papa offered a solution. Stay the night. His little girl jumped at it of course, why wouldn’t she want her dad around for the night? Especially when he hyped up the importance of tomorrow’s decision.

Ah, poor thing. Probably nervous about making the wrong choice again. Her dad hated it just as much as her when she messed up and he had to be away from his daughter, leaving her alone to drill in the lesson of what she did wrong. It was never easy to be a dad, he thought sadly, of all the times it was necessary to break his child’s heart in twain.

Still, seeing her come out the other end so strong and confident and ready to do what was right was just what made it worth it in the end. If the end result of giving Sara the best environment to grow was a big hug and unparalleled strength of character, well, he thought it was well worth it.

“S…orry…” he heard a murmur from Sara in her sleep, her form beginning to tremble as her eyes gathered up tears in her rest.  “I’m so sorry…”

Hm. That was troublesome. It was a good thing dad was here. With a few quiet strokes of her head the shaking ceased, and she laid perfectly still. There was his perfect girl.

“There’s nothing to apologize for…” he whispered. “Just stay the exact same forever.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“And that’s checkmate.” Smiling cheekily, as he knocked Sara’s king down, father once again triumphed against daughter. Of course, Sara didn’t have the same frustration on her face as she did most days they played a game of Chess.

“I’ve stopped expecting anything different.” She sighed, rolling her shoulders back. “I really don’t think I’m ever gonna beat you at this.”

Lacking enthusiasm. Papa could sense from how she looked while passing off the idea of collecting data from people at the next event to boost Asunaros rep that it was getting under her skin a little. She still had that look of objection when anything like that came up. Not very good at hiding it.

It was a shame. The death game was meant to train such looks of sadness out of his daughter. She was going to be the reaper, who took everyone there to the afterlife, the one who would claw her way to the top so fervently, she wouldn’t look at any act as unspeakable anymore. But… alas, complications. The annoying leeches who attached to her, sucked her blood and took her victory away slaughtered her chances of becoming that person… so much so that he had to intervene before she got herself killed. Still his little girl, but she’d been tainted. Taken from her chance to blossom. A revised plan to build her up had to spring from the ashes so that someday she wouldn’t be making such a pitiful face.

But he digressed.

“Sara, you should never say never. If you work your butt off you can master the same strategies I have.” He motioned once again to their finished board. “I look forward to the day the student trounces the master.”

Sara’s face gave him a smile, obviously acting, but darn did she try and sell it for him. Her dear old dad couldn’t be happier at that. 

“Anyways, let's put the game away. I want to show you something sweetheart.” He stood up, “Consider it a reward for making the right choice today.”

“Ah-“ that seemed to catch her attention. “What could that possibly be?”

“Well, you will get to go to the carnival when the time comes…” He narrated as he led her by the hand. She would have to do work as one of the people collecting data, which he wasn’t going to be a downer and bring up, but he could most definitely assure that she would get to have fun. “and also something else!”

“I get to go… So I can leave again?!” Sara’s eyes lit up. He knew that’d catch his girl’s attention. “And what is this something else?”

“Hm… close your eyes, it’s a surprise for when we get there.” 

“But… what if I trip?” Sara’s brief hesitance was so amusing. He’d compare it to a small animal.

“What? You don’t trust dad’ll catch you?”

That line did the trick, lickety-split. Sara closed her eyes and her good old dad walked her through the building, only occasionally hearing “Dad… can I at least get a hint?” He just started whistling the third time she asked that.

Ah. Here it was. He opened the door to what he considered a lovely recreation. Similar to that Russian Roulette room where her daughter first showed those commoners what was what, but far more dolls this time, and of course, the portrait in the room was one of him playing with Sara when she was small rather than his talking portrait. He’d painstakingly recreated it, not only as a necessity, but a homage to the greatness of his daughter. The perfect gift for a perfect daughter.

“Alright sweetie. Open your eyes.”

Sara opened them, but much to his disappointment, she didn’t look very pleased to see a room where she achieved such a triumphant victory in.

“Dad… what is this?”

She wasn’t even trying to conceal the horror in her eyes, the way she recoiled back as she looked around in the picture-perfect recreation, and even looked queasy at the sight of her own portrait.

A shame. Those leeches really did a number on her.

“Well, I knew this place needed a shooting range. After all, you need to hone your weapon skills to stay on top.” He did his best to smile warmly through the ordeal rather than seethe at how much other people who he was being forced to leave alive had ruined his perfect little angel. “And I thought, what better way to make it than the Russian Roulette room?”

“Shooting range…?”

“Yes indeed…” He was going to urge Sara to find the gun where she remembered it; but was coming to realize it was going to be more trouble than it was worth. He simply took it from between one of the seat cushions, loading it with the bullets and handing it to her. “Go on. Show your dad your best shots.”

Much to his pride, Sara did not reject his request. She had held a gun before after all, and shooting dolls was all part of the program for her. Now, shooting humans might prove to be a difficulty, but he would cross that bridge when he approached it.

“… So?” He grinned, “Are you ready?”

Frustratingly, she stayed quiet. It’d be nice if she gave an objection and he had something to work off of, but ah well. Rolling with the punches was part of fatherhood sometimes.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“It’s just…” she muttered, looking at the gun in her hands. “Keiji…”

There it was. That damn officer. That daughter stealing, good for nothing, ball and chain, refused to die, disgusting slob of a wretch. Oh how he wanted to just put a bullet in that man’s meddling head and be done with him and his investigations but if he dares break his promise to Sara, he knows everything he worked for will be broken and he knows that Keiji Shinogi has done enough of that by making his daughter think that somehow he’s her father and he’s the one who raised her and he’s the one who put back breaking labor into giving her everything. 

“Actually…never mind.” Sara shook her head. “Let’s… get this over with.”

“Of course.” Her dad smiled through his white hot anger, so he could give his daughter a bit of warmth, sitting in the one empty chair in the room he had to be a first-hand witness of his daughters’ growth.  “Show me what you’re made of, sweetie.”

It was a dad’s job to make sure a daughter was her best self… after all.

Chapter Text

Gin never had many friends in school, even before he got taken away by the bad guys. He had one friend at school and that ‘friend’ was seaweed head, but seaweed head wasn’t actually a friend. He just wanted him to sign a stupid paper. Then Gin fell for his act like a chump. But not this time; he’d come to hate seaweed head, and he hated this stupid new person trying to act like him more.

“I understand you seem to have had a bad experience with your previous therapist Gin, but if you could just give me a chance-“

“I’m not telling you anything, meow! Go away, woof!”

The stupid, dumb fake who just wanted Gin to give up his secrets looked at the clock and sighed, making a note of something. Gin tried to look at what it was but couldn’t without arousing suspicion.

“… Very well. It looks like our session has ended.” He said. “We’ll try again next week.”

The child pulled down his mask to stick out his tongue and, before the stupid fake quack could say anything, ran out back to class. Running in the halls was against the rules, but no teachers were around- and he wanted to get back to class to do real work. He smiled at his teacher when he got back, although it might’ve been concealed behind his mask, he just wanted to show appreciation.

“I’m back, teacher! Woof!”

“Gin.” The teacher looked at him with a tired smile. It didn’t look like Gin came in while she was speaking, which is good. “Well, take a worksheet, and try to get onto the same page as your classmates.”

Skipping over to where the pile was to take his worksheet, he ignored the fleeting stares of classmates. It was annoying having to go to sessions he didn’t do anything in anymore, so he’d have to catch up on work. It was also kinda weird how he had to try and not notice that everyone was looking at him. They’d done that ever since he got back. From what mom had told him, after he disappeared from the house, Gin had been on missing posters and the whole school was warned to be careful, since they might be the next one taken. Gin knew that the bad guys wouldn’t have the opportunity to do something like take anyone else though, since Gin was the only one who signed seaweed heads stupid form. Still, he could imagine all the kids at school wondering what happened to him. He knows he’d be scared if someone went missing. That was also sort of weird. The death game was so horrible and scary, but when it was done, he was allowed to go back, like it was just vacation. He wasn’t even allowed to talk about it to anyone. The bad guys took him, made him go through scary traps, won the game, and sent him home, and nobody knew. 

Unless they worked with the bad guys too. Shortie was almost his age. It was kinda stressful to think about someone his age, spying on him still. Watching him-

Gin shook his head. He shouldn’t think about that. He had schoolwork, and mom would be upset if he had bad grades. Loner was picking him up for milkshakes after school, so he should earn his by being good. He was gonna do soooooooo good he’d knock all those other kids’ socks off. They’d think that while he was gone they gave him special implants to become smarter.

Except for all the super spies watching him. They would know, but they couldn’t tell anyone either, so take that bad guys!

~~~~~~~

“Are you going to be alright?” She considerately asked him; worry in her eyes.

“Ehehe, well, I’ll probably just sleep off the stomachache in my own home, Nana… don’t worry about it for one second.” 

Eugh. Loner and Mom were flirting again. Gin made a note to himself to draw on the loner’s face, if he even thought of staying the night.

“I mean we do have room on the couch… at the very least let someone walk you home.”

“Oh, I can tell you’re dealing with… complications.” Loner said, some unplaceable thought in his voice. “Just take care of business. I’ll walk home and see if I have stomach medicine.”

“Yeah! Leave my mom alone, Loner, woof!” Gin yelled, running in and swiping at him with his paws. Mom was safe as long as Gin was around.

The Loner rolled his head back with a big groan before motioning to Gin with a flourish, seemingly more annoyed than terrified with Gin trying to scare him off.

“See the complications that pop up if I do stay the night?” 

Mom sighed as well, but motioned to the door. Hehehe. Mom protected once again!

“If you really insist, I guess you’re free to go. Sorry for Gin’s comments.”

“Don’t worry, he does it constantly.” Loner stood up, lurching forward a little (he didn’t have to have that milkshake if his stomach was gonna hurt, geez…) and walked to the door; softly rubbing Gin on the head a little.

“See you later, kid.”

Gin sort of felt a little guilty for chasing out the loner. He was having a stomachache, and he did get Gin that yummy milkshake. Still, he felt weird around the loner sometimes. He didn’t think the loner wanted to hurt him anymore. In fact, Gin was pretty sure if it was a choice between the loner and himself, the loner would put Gin first every time (just like with bucket girl). But, Loner was still the loner. Loner did every bad thing he could do all because he hated Big Sis Sara, and thought she was mean, even though he was way meaner. Loner was the reason Big Bro Joe was dead. Loner tried to kill all of them just for bucket girl.

Also Gin didn’t want Loner to date his mom. Period.

“Gin, can I talk to you about something?” Mom asked after Loner beat it out the door. “I got a call from school.”

Uh oh. Usually getting a call from school was because you did something bad. Gin tried to recount the days events as he recalled what went wrong. Maybe the secret agents finally got good information on him. Then what did he do?

“What is it, meow?” He climbed up onto the kitchen chair, ignoring the ugly elephant in the room, so that maybe Mom wouldn’t think it was as bad as it was.

“… Your counselor says you’re refusing to speak with him.” Mom sighed. “He’s been there for a few weeks, but you’re not giving him a chance?”

Oh. Gin didn’t think of that but the school probably would call over that. Still, mom sounded upset by this. That was weird. If anything he’d think mom would get it. The counselor could just be seaweed head in disguise, just like last time. They couldn’t risk that!

“Of course I didn’t talk to him, meow! He might be with the bad guys!” Gin insisted. “Like that seaweed head who made me sign that contract!”

Mom tapped her fingers on the table, her lip bitten. Obviously, she knew Gin was right not to trust that sneaky creep.

“I understand that Dr Hiyori… was not a good therapist.” She said to him, her voice lowered.

“Uh, duh, woof.” Gin said. “He tried to kill me in Russian Roulette!”

Mom winced. Dang it, why did Gin have to bring that up? Now Mom was stressed. 

“But… not all therapists are like Sou Hiyori.” Mom said. “I don’t think your new counselor is…”

“Why not?” Gin asked. “The only reason they can’t use Seaweed Head anymore is that he’s dead, meow. What’s stopping them from sending in another guy to the school, woof?”

Especially since they’re supposed to be watching you. He didn’t add. Mom was under their surveillance and it was all Gin’s fault. He couldn’t just tell anyone about his mom.

“Gin… don’t you want to get better after what you’ve been through?” Mom asked. “A counselor can help with that.”

That’s what Seaweed Head offered me. Gin thought.

“I’m already better. Don’t worry.” Gin kicked his legs. “I’m not a little kid you know, meow!”

Mom was about to say something else, but then dad walked in. That was a good time to stop. They just had to not speak a word, and patiently wait for him to open the fridge, hoping he’d get out soon so they could continue without someone obviously drunk listening in.

“… Ah, we’re out of beer.” Dad said. “I’m gonna go get more.”

“Not when you’re drunk, you’re not.” Mom stood up. “Stay in the house. I’ll go get your refill.”

Gin would say he was thankful for the interruption but that would imply he was happy at this development. He was not.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Whoa! Look how many tickets this machine got me, meow!” Gin held up the supply, singing to himself with glee. “You think this is enough for the Xbox woof?”

“Well the Xbox is a hundred thousand tickets so let’s see…” Loner gave a glance to his supply. “Not enough.”

“Grrrr…” Gin swiped at him with his paws. “Well maybe you should try earning some tickets,  meow!”

“Oh come on… you think I spend every day getting high scores at arcade games…?” Loner snorted. “I’m not gonna pull in much.”

“Uh-huh.” Gin gave him a scrutinizing look. He did not believe that loner for one second.

“… Fine. Give me a token. I’ll play one game.”

“Hooray!” Gin grinned. “You better get me enough for the Xbox.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

Loner was pretty good at the game he played, but not a hundred thousand tickets good. How disappointing. Gin thought he might be more of a gamer, but it looks like he was just your regular everyday shut in loner. 

“Well, maybe you have enough for that giant stuffed bear.” He offered as Gin sat down counting the final earnings. “Doesn’t that sound good?”

“I guess, meow…” Gin put his head in his hands. “It’s not as good though.”

“Hey, trust me kid, the Xbox is made to be unwinnable anyways.” Loner sat down next to him. “It’s like those crane games.”

“Mya… you’re so cynical, loner. You’re spoken like someone who's never won a crane game or an Xbox.”

“… Anyways.” Loner sighed. “I don’t wanna be a downer, but it seems like something is bothering you, Gin.”

“Woof? I’m not bothered.”

“Really? Because you have a million of those stuffed animals lying around your house, and I hardly believe you don’t want one more.”

“Meow!” Gin kicked his legs. “You're not one to judge, loner! What about all those stuffed anime characters at your house?”

“… My point being.” Loner sighed again, with more bother. “You seem down about something. So maybe I can help.”

That was really funny of the loner suggesting he could help. Loner was a chump. He wouldn’t get it. 

Well okay, he did deal with seaweed head… maybe it wouldn’t help to tell him.

“Mom wants me to talk with the new counselor at school, meow.” Gin said. “But the last counselor I had was seaweed head! And he made me sign that paper! Woof!”

“Hiyo- Midori?” Loner shifted in his seat, and his eyes widened really big.  “Wait, wait, slow down. Midori was…”

Right. The loner wasn’t there when Big Sis Sara looked through his memories. Only Big Sis Sara saw the real truth. 

“Seaweed head was my old school counselor. We talked about everything together, meow. He was my bestest friend in school. But… he wasn’t actually my friend at all! He just wanted data on me for his stupid game woof!” Gin rambled, finally able to get his frustrations out.

Loner cringed back, but Gin didn’t care. He hated the seaweed head more than life itself for tricking him… and making him and mom and everybody suffer.

“Then one day he offered me a contract meow. He said it could fix me, but I just wanted to make mom happy, woof.” Gin looked down, the idea of being fixed. “But it wasn’t actually a contract to help me. It was for…”

“… Oh.” Loner said, almost like he was speaking under his breath. “I didn’t know.”

Gin felt hot tears in his eyes. He was so stupid for trusting seaweed head. Didn’t he almost say something about killing kids when he was the same age as Gin? He should’ve been smarter, and not listened. Why did he trust someone like that?

“… I don’t want a new counselor.” Gin said “They could all be trying to get me, just like seaweed head. I hate them, woof.”

“… Huh.” Loner muttered. “Midori stinks.”

“Yeah…” 

Gin didn’t hear anything else for a few moments outside of the beeping and jeering of the arcade. Nobody knew that two people who survived a death trap were here, and those who did were all scum from the bad guys.

“… Hey, Gin. You probably don’t want to hear this…” Loner began, reluctance in his voice. “But when I entered the death game, I saw Hi- Midori in Miss Sara.”

Gin wrinkled his nose. He didn’t want to hear loner complain about Big Sis Sara again.

“Well you’re wrong, meow. Big Sis Sara is nothing like seaweed head. She’s a decent member of society, woof.” 

Well maybe she was. But, he didn’t wanna bring that up now.

“Exactly.” Loner said. “I put the image of Midori onto someone who didn’t deserve it because of what happened before, but that person wasn’t similar at all. Do you see what I’m getting at?”

Uh oh. That kinda made sense. Gin didn’t really understand everything about the loner and seaweed head but he knew it was bad, because the loner hated him just as much as Gin did. Still though, the loner should’ve been justifying why he was angry if they had the same experience right? Was he just using this to say it was all wrong? Was the loner admitting the death game was wrong of him?

“Why did you think of Big Sis Sara like that?”

“Well… I could sit here justifying why to you.” Loner continued, huffing. “But would any of them have been right in the end?”

Gin clutched Mew-Chan close.

“But… Seaweed head…”

“… Hey. Don’t get me wrong.” Shin rubbed Gin’s head “You’re not wrong to want to keep an eye out for other people. There’s bad people in this world and it’s good to have the skills to stay away from them. But maybe give therapy a chance.”

“Why?”

“Well… therapy is actually pretty good most of the time.” Loner admitted. “It’s mostly used to heal scars from trauma like say… a death game. It could do you good, you know?”

Gin meowed softly, scooting close to the loner and hugging him.

“You’re so weird, loner…”

“… I know.”

~~~~~~~~~

Gin marched into his counselors office next week clutching Mew-Chan, a pad, and a pen.

“Ah, Gin…” Mr. New Counselor said, “how would you like to talk this week?”

“I want to do an interview, meow!” Gin exclaimed. “I’m gonna make sure you’re a good person from this, woof!”

“Um…?”

“Okay first question, woof.” Gin plopped in his seat, spinning around once before facing the therapist. “What’s your favorite dessert?”

Chapter Text

Sara did not know why a car would have a waiter who offered her seven different brands of sparkling agua when all she said was, “Can I have some water?” but here she was with seven different glasses next to her seat now, trying each, one by one. Luxury wasn’t something to be upset about, but even for a limousine this was sort of excessive… right? She wouldn’t know, having never been in one before.

“Say, Sara, you want to put on a movie while we wait?” Dad held her close, seemingly unaffected by the ridiculous amount of grandeur being offered to the two of them in what was basically a glorified bus. “It’s gonna be a long ride.”

Sara made a sip of the next sparkling water, pretending her frown was from the drink rather than the suggestion. There was a nostalgia to it. Dad did sometimes watch things with her that he picked out as a kid… even anime sometimes, before high school even hit. But his tastes were a little questionable. She cried at his movies and not for good reasons.

But anything to make dad happy, she supposed.

“Put it on. When’s the last time we watched something together?”

“‘Atta girl.” Dad took a strand of hair out of her face before calling over one of the servants on the limo. Not even the same one who bought her sparkling water. Because they needed multiple, apparently. Sara sighed and gulped down her glass. How much would she have to do to get those guys to break open that champagne bottle for her?

Oh and the movie wasn’t very good. It was a mediocre action flick with less than subtle religious undertones. The only question she asked during its duration was when they’d be at their destination.

That could be considered the exciting part. Leaving the cage once again so she could go somewhere besides her little tower. The problem was the “where”? Dad said it was business, a bad sign; and with the amount of driving this took, she was only growing more anxious about what kind of business this was.

“Oh, they’re bringing sushi.” Dad mused as Sparkling Water came towards them with a tray of fancy looking fish. “Eat up, Sara, I hired a great chef on this ride.”

A chef? Ugh, hopefully these guys got a decent salary as car chefs. Sara took her mind away from that the best that she could, deciding to indulge herself in all the pieces her dad liked. It’d please him to see.

“Heheh, ain’t you a glutton?” Dad took her head while she was chewing on a piece that she’d lost count of and pulled it towards him. “You’re stuffing yourself.”

She wasn’t really hungry, nor did she really feel full after what she ate. But it looked like she’d made dad happy with her eating, so she ate a few last pieces so as not to rouse suspicions and placed down her chopsticks, leaning into him and closing her eyes. She needed a nap.

And a nap she took. Her dreams were filled with nightmares- they all were as of late, but she was woken up a little later with a gentle shake from father, and her hair being moved out of her eyes.

“Sara. Wake up, sweetie. We’re here.”

Sara groggily forced her eyes open, not really wanting to force herself off of dad for whatever was awaiting her past the doors of this car. But, dads smile was indicating to her that she had to get with the program. She repressed a sigh, rubbing her eyes and looking outside the limousine windows, Sara spotted a huge mansion outside. A business meeting in a house in the middle of nowhere…? Weird.

“Oh. Before you go in…” Dad motioned her back over. “I think I should give my favorite child in the world something before you go in.”

Sara curiously crawled her way back over, watching dad produce a velvet box he certainly didn’t have on him while she was awake. Saving the surprise she supposed. She looked to his expectant eyes for a few moments before coming to the conclusion he wanted her to open the box. Very well then. She knew how to do that much. With ease, she clicked open the two latches and opened it up, stomach sinking as she saw the gift inside.

“You will need to protect yourself inside.” Dad beamed from ear to ear. “And you’ve trained, haven’t you?”

Yes. On motionless plastic models. She thought to herself, but she knew even then that this was inevitable. It’d been hanging over her head constantly as the variable for being a yakuza princess, and now she had to see it through. How gross. 

“Thank you, father.” She took the hideous thing, swearing she could feel it burn her skin, and stuffed it away in her pocket. “I love it!” The lies rolled off her tongue, practiced as they danced with ever-growing sin.

And then she hugged him. This was fine. This moment here. He hugged her back, and they were not going into that house to ‘take care of business’. Sara was hugging dad, because he gave her a gift he was proud of that, granted, was pretty ornate. She wanted to keep this moment going as long as possible.

But it ended.

“Now, let’s get in there.” Dad stood up. “I wanna show ‘em just how much my daughter has grown.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The meeting was taking place in the mansion’s living room. A huge carpet covered most of the space in the room, a design on it of a knotted twine coming together from all sides to the middle. There were many portraits of people Sara didn’t recognize. She shivered when she realized she did recall a painting of Gashu, its gaze piercing through her as though a dagger of unwanted memories ripped her whole. What a disgusting person. Using even his death to ensure that the death game’s gears were well oiled and moving. Yet the owner of this home had him up here like an object of worship. Talk about poor taste.

The sofas and seats were all made of leather, and colored crimson. Sara was given a seat at the head of the room, elevated a few more inches off the floor than the others. It was separated from the space of the rest, almost like a throne above the peasants. Dad stood by her side, his hand sitting on the arm of the chair for if she ever needed to grasp it.

There were also men standing near the doors. Armed men. Sara avoided their gaze.

Other people filed in after Sara and her dad came to the room. A spindly man with dark hair, a woman with her hair in an elegant side ponytail, a muscled man with a large beard, and a woman in a business suit, a tired look in her eyes.

“Aw, everyone’s here!” Dad clapped his hands once the last person filed in “Good to see you chums! This is a pretty special day! I’d even have a toast but, well, there’s a complication.”

With that, he snickered and petted Saras head, eyes softening at her.

“Now, unless you’ve been snooping around you’ve probably heard about my daughter. She’s a special girl. The heiress of this company!” 

Sara gave a complimentary smile to her dad’s speech. The other people there did not look pleased however.

 “Sara, do you want to give a speech for your first public appearance as Asunaros heiress?” Dad asked, “It is a special outing.”

“Ah… um…” Sara looked at the crowd. This was a little on the spot. It was sort of hard to give a rousing speech when you were unprepared and your dad was coddling you in front of all of them. She just decided to say the best words she could think of without dwelling on any complaints. “Well… I haven’t left the place where I live very much lately… so I’m glad to be seeing people… and I hope that I’m good as a leader for you all. You may not know, but I’ve actually led people before. I never thought I was all that good, but they loved me… so I guess I’m just modest. Hehe… hope that applies here.”

“That’s perfect, sweetie.” Dad pulled her close and kissed her on the forehead. Sara hated that speech. It was placid, fake, and she felt dumb and like a prop saying every word of it. Of course, she didn’t voice any of her concerns, not wanting to interrupt the meeting, just watching her dad walk forward into the group with his arms stretched, and her own hands folded and lips curled upwards. Be a good little doll.

“Now, all four of you are incredible assets to Asunaro. We are all aware that you’ve  also noticed our uh… chinks.” Dad chuckled. “So today we present you with a choice. Take a task that will put you further into the throes of our lovely company, or…”

Dad motioned to the door.

“You can walk out.”

Sara could see the four people looking amongst themselves. Sara looked down, knowing that wasn’t a conversation she was a part of, silent or otherwise. The rebels did not want the tyrant to see their machinations.

Finally, the muscled man stood up.

“I’m having no part of this.”

“You sure, man?” Dad asked. “You get a pretty sweet bonus if you go through with it.”

“I’m not okay with what you do here.” He affirmed. “End of story.”

“Huh. I thought if anyone here had balls it’d be you.” Dad shrugged. “Okay. Leave.”

The muscular man started to go out the door. That was what was supposed to happen. Muscle man would leave, and that would be one less person. Sara was stupid to think that. This was Asunaro, and in the world of Asunaro, things always went horribly wrong.

A loud noise, a BANG, all the other people in the room shutting their eyes, but Sara had to cover her mouth to hold back a scream as the muscled man fell to the floor, an ugly and fresh wound in his back that quickly began to stain his clothes with blood. Slowly, crimson pooled around him, with it the tension in the room only grew..

“That’ll take a bit of time to clean up.” Dad waved a hand, “In the meantime, get comfy!”

Sara had seen dead people before. She’d seen it so often it had become maddening . Dead people for a time that was short, but felt like the longest time of her life was something she had seen constantly. Human beings she spoke to would become corpses in front of her very eyes, not allowed dignified ends but languid deaths of anguish,, or huge explosions that would destroy the person she knew. Death was ugly, and she had seen every single aspect of it.

But to say she’d ever gotten used to it would be a lie to herself. Every time a new body entered her vision it was like a new shrapnel to her already dying heart. To see this thing done to an innocent human life who could’ve walked away… made an example of by… by…

“Dad… why…”

Dad placed his hand on here giving her a stern look: Don’t make a scene. Sara remembered herself and straightened up. This was still Asunaro. She was still going to have to get used to this.

That gun she had was for punishing anybody who acted out.

Dad continued holding her during the “cleanup process.” She was cradled by him, rocked side to side, hair pet, kissed on the forehead, all like a mantra to calm her down. She looked at the remaining three throughout. They were glaring. They hated her for what she had done. They should be the ones being comforted through all this. They were in danger.

“Okay… looks like we’re all set. So, Menhara?” 

The spindly man looked around with a queasy look… understandable given his situation. But, her dad only chuckled at that.

“Well don’t just sit there. Stand up my pal.”

Menhara hesitated a few more moments. But he stood up in the end. Wouldn’t want a fate like muscle man after all. Sara watched with feigned disinterest.

“I’d like you to accept a job watching and reporting on security tapes. It’ll be pretty exciting. Help us develop some technology.”

“… Understood.”

The man responded in a monotone voice, his face clearly working to remain expressionless. Still, fear was evident in his features. Sara thought to herself that she shouldn’t look like he did.

“Okay! Follow the nice men with guns then, and you’ll be hearing all the deets! Man, isn’t that easy? Nothing to get shot over if you ask me.”

The emotions didn’t hide themselves anymore. Menhara walked out of the room with a scowl on his face. Sara wished him well.

“Koizumi.” 

The woman with the side ponytail stood up, hands behind her back with an air of calm. Sara was actually impressed. She must have practiced.

“Oh, Koizumi. So, you’re a great pharmacist. Best in your field. And we well… we could use some pharmacists to make high quality brands.” Dad grinned, “I know you don’t wanna do it, but maybe you shouldn’t have looked into it, eh?”

“I get it.” Sara blinked back at the annoyed bite of Koizumi. She was one bad move from getting shot. Though, maybe that was admirable.

“Great! Great great! Then go. We’ll catch up later.” Dad smirked, “Ta ta.”

Well, the good thing about this was, it was short. It was going by like a shotgun blast- wait bad metaphor- like a bandaid being ripped off. Just one more and then Sara could wipe her hands clean of this incident and never think of it again except in her increasingly frequent nightmares. Add this to the pile, and get the last person over with.

“… Asuka Shinonome.” Dad turned to the last one, “You’ve been slippery.”

Slippery? Sara looked at her. Business suit, tired eyes, and long hair. The eyebags were what made it look like she’d been running away on her clock. It was a horrifying look and Sara didn’t like what she saw in a woman like that. Images were brought up in her mind of Hayasaka entrenched in Asunaro. Though, this woman didn’t seem as nervous and jumpy. She seemed more tired. More worn down, more close to… giving up. Sara didn’t like those eyes. Those tired eyes were just… scary.

“Now, Asuka, I want you to go back to your job.” Red flag. “The boys will take you back and have you sign a contract that says you’ll do favors for us. That’s all. Other than that you can keep being a normal businesswoman.”

“… Am I really?” Asuka asked. Her tone suggested she wasn’t buying it any more than Sara was.

“Of course. You just have to do one thing.”

Sara wished she could excuse herself right then and there. It wasn’t like she was contributing anything other than to be set dressing for this disgusting initiation ritual. But she was here on dad’s orders. Dad wanted her here, and he hadn’t really harmed her yet, so she shouldn’t be complaining. She just sat all quiet and dainty while dad snapped his fingers and another man came in carrying someone tied up with a sack over their head. Sara remained still through the struggle, even as her head grew light and her mind was imagining all kinds of scenarios except for this one. It was okay. She was playing hopscotch.

“Now, this is more of an honor than anything.” Through her daydreaming, Sara could still hear Dad’s words, and he watched her place a gun in the hands of Asuka Shinonome. Sara lost the game to Ryoko. Dad took the sack off the struggling man’s head. “This man was with us for a long time, but then he tried to run off with important data. Really, loyalty these days. Does anybody have it? Well, forget about that, you can just pull the trigger on him and we can have a big laugh later.”

Sara was desperately trying to remember how hopscotch was set up. She knew far too well that this was not an honor. This was a trap. It was the first tile then two more right? A way to give this woman a secret that could never be shared and put her in Asunaros debt for not sharing. A way to ensnare her and make sure she could never run again. Make her willing to do all manner of things like this again. Or was the game set up the other way around? Feet rooted to the ground and never able to swim up, that would be the fate of Asuka Shinonome, all with a gun far less glamorous than the one Sara had.

Wait. Sara’s gun. That took Sara away from hopscotch. That might be the one chance in hell for this woman. 

Sara dug frantically in her pocket as Asuka stared at the gun, inspecting each and every inch of it like some sort of mechanic. Putting off the deed. Good, more time for her. Her dad was far more focused on his prey than his new predicament which was also good. That meant she got the gun out unseen. The woman had it just pointed at his head when…

BANG.

Her breath caught as a loud noise echoed and rang in her ears. Her vision temporarily blurred and she swore for a second she could see dots. Then when her vision returned, all that remained was the sound of her heart slamming through her chest as silence pooled through the room. As the man laid back and died from a gunshot clearly not from Asuka’s gun. As Asuka was covered in blood. He died of a gunshot. But the fatal wound wasn’t from her. Dad looked over to her first.

“Sara…?”

Sara felt her breaths on her own cheeks, and heartbeat now sounded like it was physically in her ears. That was… killing. She killed. Didn’t even really think about it. She wanted to think about that but her current predicament was the eyes carving into her every breath. Don’t think about what just happened. Look at dad.

“Sorry. I was getting bored with waiting.” She put down the gun. “Proceed.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once Asuka had filed out, Sara excused herself to the restroom and puked her guts out.

Oh, Sara had seen dead bodies before. She hated them, they made her skin crawl, she despised the feeling of seeing a human who was robbed of their life. She had chosen with her own hands who she thought was more worthy of life, and when weighing two innocent lives, she sent the child to swing. She had killed hadn’t she? That was who she was.

But not with her own hands. She had never had the resolve to take the power into her own hands and take a human life. Not even for her enemies, like Qtaro or Keiji had. She had never wielded a human weapon so she could kill a human being. Now she was a true and tride murderer. She was Sara Chidouin, head of Asunaro.

The sick rush of fear, the racing emotions, the horror, all of it was to be expected with the new fresh blood on her hands. She expected it, welcomed the idea of being so miserable about what she had done, because then she’d be able to still classify as human. But this… this sick numb feeling in her stomach. That was the worst part.

The feeling of sure I killed a man, and I will kill many more.

Sure I am a monster and there’s no going back for me.

Sure I knew this was coming for a long time. Why am I even surprised?

It was a disgusting feeling that she wanted to be rid of, but her own rationale told her she needed to cling to it to survive. This was hell. She died in the death game and went to hell. That was the only explanation. She remembered those thoughts that appeared in the death game, the way they pooled and made her face ashen as she hiccuped. That disgusting feeling of unforgivable sin staining her hands. But now she was coming upon a pit of acceptance and she was realizing, she would have to learn to live with that.

She did run out of puke. Such a shame. She would have loved to stay here and get rid of more of herself.

“I guess…” she muttered, “I need to get back to dad now…”

She almost knew nothing of how furious dad would be now that she ruined that woman’s initiation ritual. Perhaps she’d be ignored again and have to walk home. Wouldn’t that be funny?

She just made her way to the common room.

“Sara!”

Within seconds, she was picked up and swung around in big open arms. 

“Gyaaaah! Dad?!” She clung on fast. Oh she couldn’t throw up again on dad “Why are you happy?!”

“Why do you think?” Dad spun her until they were sitting on the sofa together. “You know, I never expected you to make your first without me even telling you. You’re a brave girl!”

Well this was… unexpected. Certainly not what she expected from cutting into what her dad wanted from that woman. She had thought that his wants were a little… hyperspecific.

“So… you’re not mad?”

“Oh come on!” Dad laughed, hugging her close. “We can deal with Asuka later! She’s just another cog! But you… you’re Sara! You’re my daughter!” Dad laughed uproariously. “And you went above and beyond your pay grade!”

She didn’t get paid, but oh well. It seems like she had misread the situation. Dad was not angry things didn’t go his way and ignoring her. He was happy she made a “step” and was showering her in praise. It felt a little good to know that he wasn’t always on when it came to this.

“Oh… I’m so glad you liked it…”

“Oh… yes.” Dad smiled, pulling her back. “We have big things in the future.”

Whatever brief warmth Sara may have gotten from being unexpectedly showered in praise, it was snapped up in an instant. That wasn’t Asuka’s initiation ritual there. With her gun, Sara had gone and turned it into her initiation. She was the one who couldn’t escape now. She was the one who would do any action they asked now. She was the one rooted to the ground.

“… Yay!” Sara faked a laugh at this oh so joyous moment “Um, so, can I go see what that Asuka lady is up to? I’m curious.”

“Oh yes.” Dad smirked. “Follow Yamada, he’ll take you.” 

Sara looked over to one of the gunmen. Gulp. Well so much for a private conversation. Sara just followed silently through the halls. Such a twisty, turny place. Just like the Asunaro building- she thought with resentment. She hated that place. Maybe it was the entrapment, but nothing about that building felt like home.

She arrived in a kitchen where Ms. Asuka was talking with a businessman. Ah. Right. This was probably a private meeting. Sara was going to bother her with whatever concerns she had. Sara turned to go, but in the process, knocked over a bowl, and what do you know, the thing was made of glass. Its shattering could be heard to anyone who lived near here- if anyone did live near this stinking house.

“Ah, I’m sorry…” Sara shrank back, as Yamada began to clean up the bowl. Was she not allowed to leave until the bowl was clean? That was bad, because now Asuka was looking at her.

“… I’m sorry.”

She expected a lot of things. A speech about the lives she’s ruining, anger, insults, resentment… but Asuka smiled at her. 

“Hey. Thanks a lot.”

Then turned back to the person she was talking to. Oh. So… she liked her now? Sara wasn’t sure if that made sense. She wasn’t really praiseworthy. But she couldn’t just say that when Asuka was talking to that guy.

Sara was pretty sure Asuka couldn’t see her with her face to the businessman but she did the best she could. A smile. It was rehearsed as ever but at least she could send the signal out to one person who she helped delay the inevitable for, just like she always put everything off for everyone else.

She would have to put it off for herself now.

Chapter Text

Did you know Japan has a 99.9% conviction rate?

It’s true! Despite the fact Ryoko’s mom wasn’t around a lot, she took pride in her job as a prosecutor. The streets of Japan were so safe that children were able to walk themselves to school, and it was all because of how the justice system was able to beat bad guys every single time. Ryoko grew up with starry eyes over the prospect.

Then she grew up and found a friend in Sara Chidouin, who had some weird stuff to say about her dad. Sometimes Ryoko wondered if the conviction rate was 99.9%- wouldn’t it take in a bad guy like Sara’s dad? She’d ask her mom, but mom wasn’t around much of all anymore.

Hey, wasn’t leaving your child alone a crime? Was this conviction rate broken or something?

Ryoko poured her heart into researching every criminal she could and how they were convicted. And through all the horror stories of how the innocent people were beaten into false confessions what truly fascinated her were the stories of those who dodged the narrow line. The people who narrated these criminals’ checkered pasts told them like campfire stories, and soon she found herself listening not with a bundle of notes but just to pass the time. Sara hated her studies, and she never brought them up to Joe, but it was incredible and it taught her something very important.

The 99.9% rate only existed for the sake of the wealthy. The commoners could starve.

So maybe she shouldn’t have been surprised by this outcome.

“My friends are missing!” She screamed at the officer on duty, who regarded her with an exasperated look. “I’m coming to you with information! Isn’t this enough to open a case?!”

“Ma’am, you’re causing a scene.”

“I don’t give a damn!” For good measure, Ryoko swiped some files off that pigs desk, fighting off hot tears. “If I have a source that says my friend is alive don’t you have a duty to look for her?!”

“We don’t even know if this ‘source’ is legitimate ma’am.” The policeman repeated for the 50th time.

“Then find out if it is!” Ryoko slammed her hand on the desk. “Aren’t you supposed to help people?!”

“For the last time, this person doesn’t exist.” The man shook his head. “We can’t help you.”

Useless. Ryoko thought bitterly. She thought of any last thing she could do to spite these people, and her eyes drifted to the basket of candy they had for visitors. Looking the asshole at the desk in the eye, she grabbed the entire basket and sprinted out.

Well she got nothing out of that except sugar. Sara would love these candies…the thought was sudden. Sara, lover of sweets, would not be able to marvel at the fact Ryoko robbed a police station of candy for her. Couldn’t even share it. All she could do was unwrap and chew on a piece of licorice.

That stupid purple ex-cop. I need to wring out whatever info he has on Sara and Joe. As of now, he can’t be trusted.

It was a good thing she was able to track down his address. She didn’t really feel good about stalking, especially after Sara’s experience, but courtesy went out the window when you were some rando who just knew your missing friend's identity. Maybe she was playing detective a little too much for a high school girl, but hey, someone had to seeing how they swept Sara Chidouins existence under the rug.

The guys house was a run down apartment in a complex that was most definitely a budget place. Frustratingly, there was only one window into his residence, and the shrubbery she camped out in was only so close to the only peek in.

She did come prepared of course. Some stakeout binoculars that she bought out of curiosity one time, lunch (not the candy. She packed herself an egg sandwich from the convenience store.), and importantly, a picture of herself with Joe and Sara. It was good to have a reminder of why she was doing this.

What she could glean from peeking through this guy’s window was that he lived a very sad existence. He didn’t seem to have any friends, and only seemed to go out for grocery shopping, or work at some corner store. Though the real sad part was stuff where he dropped a glass on the ground and it broke, and instead of cleaning it up, the guy stared at it for what? 5 minutes? Then he sat down and stayed there until Ryoko left. It was just a broken glass, dude. She also once came by and saw him eating a meal that was still frozen like it was the most delicious thing on earth.

So like. This guy was a massive freak and Ryoko was filing him as a possible suspect for Sara and Joe’s disappearance.

Okay, maybe not Sara and Joe's kidnapper . He was way too muscular to be the same guy as the stalker, but there was just something deeply wrong with this individual, and Ryoko would not be surprised if he had killed at least two people.

Well, today Mr. Ex-Policeman (Or “Keiji” as she had learned his name was) was not coming to the window. This wasn’t surprising. It happened often. You can’t expect constant results from one measly window. Ryoko simply would keep at it when this happened, hoping the results she wanted would come, and waited for lunchtime. That egg sandwich looked appetizing.

Okay, alright, lunchtime didn’t come but she was hungry and dang that was a good looking sandwich! Overcome with hunger, she unwrapped the contents, licking her lips for her meal, but stopped when she heard footsteps approaching. Now was the time to be quiet Ryoko.

But as it turned out, she was not quiet enough.

“Uh… y’ello.” Keiji walked up to her, groceries in one hand, house keys in another, rubbing his neck with the house keys hand.  “Ryoko was it? How’s it hanging?”

Ryoko’s first thought was to tackle this guy and see where it got her. Her second thought was that she was way too tiny and this guy way too huge for her to be able to accomplish anything by doing that. 

“… I am having lunch.” She spoke indignantly, holding her sandwich close. “It’s a very good sandwich.”

“… Yuh-huh.” Keiji looked at her. “How long have you been outside my house?”

“… 2 weeks.” She affirmed. “And I’ll find another place to hide if you don’t give me what I want.”

Mr. Ex-Policeman sighed, rubbing his neck.

“And I thought Sara was persistent.”

There it was again. Talking like he knew Sara. Ryoko had never seen this man in her life until seeing him at the library and she knew there was no way Sara would associate with him. Still, there was a kernel of truth to his words. Sara was always the type who had a perceptive eye, able to see things that Ryoko usually wasn’t. Sure, in some aspects she didn’t notice a thing, but when Sara saw something weird, she’d always call it out immediately. But how would some weirdo ex cop know about that?

“I’m more persistent.” She said matter of factly.

“… Clearly.” Keiji said, leaning his head to the side. “Well can you go home? I don’t need you looking in to see what I’m doing.”

Well that was a sign to go in if she ever saw one. 

“Okay. Sure.” She smiled. “I’m leaving.”

“… You are?” He looked unconvinced.

“I am.”

He looked at her up and down for a pause. Ryoko smirked, knowing he was beat. But then he opened his mouth.

“… then turn and leave.” He said. “Go on. Chop chop.”

Ugh. That damn pig. Ryoko had basically been outmaneuvered. And when you’re outmaneuvered, you have to do one thing: throw all the chess pieces off the board.

Ryoko first clapped her hands in front of the officer's face. Something to catch him off guard and make him blink. Then she seized the house keys from his hand. The clap gave it a little less pull.

“Wha- hey, kiddo, that’s not-“

Ryoko began to realize what she was doing (and had been doing for the past two weeks) was probably illegal, and she could go to jail for this. Well fuck it. Sara and Joe were already gone, she might as well give one last hurrah.

She ran to Keiji Shinogi’s door, ignoring protests that came behind her, to unlock it and run in, locking it behind her. Ugh. This house was filthy. When was the last time this guy bothered to pick up after himself? Whatever. She could wade through his garbage if it could help her find a clue.

There weren’t many rooms to go through, which meant not a lot of places she had to look before time ran out, but unfortunately, that meant not a lot of evidence to compile. The bedroom living room combination taught her nothing except that this man ate takeout in his room sometimes. Fine. Maybe the kitchen held all the answers.

Well would you look at that? The kitchen doubled as a study. Ryoko felt herself grow powerful with the biggest grin she had in a long time as she ran over to the desk with a big computer on top.

“Drat. Password protected.” She muttered as she turned it on “Let’s see… MrPoliceman?”

And that did the job. Wow that was easy.

The computer opened to a desktop crammed with folders. The one on top was labeled ‘pictures of mom’… nowhere close to what she was looking for.

Another that she kind of chuckled at said ‘cases I worked on for the pigs (TO DELETE)’. What a crass way of putting it though she couldn’t disagree.

One that read ‘food that can be eaten when expired’ was a little depressing.

But one caught her eyes like no other.

‘The search for Sara.’

Ryoko instantly clicked on that folder, immediately being given subfolders about ‘The Hades Incident’, ‘Asunaro’, ‘Death Game’, ‘Sara’s Father’, and etcetera to the point her head spun. Why was this man so invested? After months of being ignored, it was surreal to the point of disbelief that there was someone invested in Sara’s case, let alone to this degree. And what were these names? Hades incident? Death game? Wasn’t Sara a normal high school girl? Well, normal as someone whose drawing of a cat looks like the devil can be. Who was this person to be so involved with Sara?

She didn’t know which folder to click on first so she clicked on ‘Sara’s Father.’ Sara’s dad had always been weird to her, Sara making comments about his office she couldn’t go in, his strange unannounced trips to who knows where for days, and the way he told Sara to try harder to act normal to name a few things. She was more than a little curious why some strange ex-cop had a file on him in his computer to be the least bit honest.

Well the folder started with a document called ‘statement.’ Let’s read that. 

3/24/20XX

Sara Chidouin’s father is the head of the Asunaro cult and the person responsible for the death game, as he admitted himself while she, myself, and the other remaining victims were on the premises.

He has also confessed to not being Sara Chidouins biological father. Who her real father is, his status, or what he did to acquire her is unknown.

In the midst of the death game he struck a deal with his daughter, to have the rest of the surviving victims leave alive in exchange for her staying with him and becoming the heiress of Asunaro.

Any further information found will be compiled in this folder.

Ryoko read the document. But those words… they did not go through her head. So she read them again. She read them thrice. She had to read them four times just to make sure she hadn’t made a mistake. Because that’s all it could be. A mistake. Some ridiculous joke of some sort. Sara was a normal teenage girl. Sara was her best friend since middle school. Why would Sara have anything to do with any of what she just read? She hadn’t the slightest inkling what happened to Sara but this just couldn’t be it. Not Sara. What was this about a death game? Was Joe there? If so, why didn’t he come back? Please not Joe too, she couldn’t lose them both, she just wanted them back, don’t give her this bullshit-

And she was unable to find any more bullshit because just then, she heard the door click and open.

“Okie dokie, Mr. Policeman’s got a spare key.” That phony came in. “So, where are you kiddo? We can talk this ou-“

“ You!” She screeched, standing up over the computer and pointing to the screen in rage. “ What happened to my friends?!”

“… Ah.” Keiji frowned. “I didn’t expect you to crack the password.”

Ryoko didn’t want to hear that. She wanted to hear him tell her that this ridiculous thing was fake. She wanted to see the criminals that took Sara brought to justice. Why did she not get that luxury? Where was her 99.9%? Why couldn’t she have the happy, safe life where it was okay to walk on the streets again? Where did Sara, the quiet girl with a secret strange weird sense of humor, and Joe, the boy she fell in love with, the boy who bought sunshine wherever he went go?

She didn’t want tears. She didn’t want to cry. Please not in front of him. The fact her eyes were wet wasn’t visible to him was it? Her breathing wasn’t too strained? She didn’t look too much like she had every ache in the world right now?

“What… happened to them…” she sank to the ground feeling a tiredness like no other “You can’t just have all this. Why don’t I know it? Where are they?”

“Ah… heyo kiddo… it’s… one second.” The cop ran out of the room and came back with… a blanket. He slowly draped it over her shoulders too. “You can let it all out. I’ve had my share of crying children, so I don’t mind.”

Ryoko swallowed a lump in her throat to ask him one final question.

“Who are you?”

“Ah… yeah…” He sighed sitting down, the dull void in his eyes shining with just a wisp of tire. “I guess to tell you that… I’ll need to tell you about something called the death game.”

Chapter Text

You know, it was funny. According to his calendars, Shin was coming up on 5 months since the death game ended and he was still wearing that stupid scarf. The warm piece of cloth stuck to him like a burr, every time he swore he was done with it for good, it’d come back onto his neck. Why did Hiyori insist on wearing this scarf anyways? He hated the heat, and would always have a scary look and a comment for when Shin cranked up the temperature in their apartment. The fact he had a duplicate in the death game even suggested he had multiple versions. It didn’t seem cheap either. Who needed this?

He digressed, as he threw the snake-like cloth around his neck once again in the morning, looking himself in the mirror. How stupid of him to be wearing this. He knew full well that Hiyori was watching on a tv screen from his throne in hell laughing his ass off at his misfortune. Just that image alone was enough to make him want to tear the stupid thing off and shred it into ribbons.

In a way, he knew that Hiyori was just part of him now. Hell, he took the guy’s name for himself, he might as well own up to the fact that part of him was hypocritical to be so upset about this scarf.

Maybe that’s why he still wore it. Retribution. Just to punish himself for his own crimes. This was the scarf that he wore out in the world to let them know he was Sou Hiyori. To let them know that there was only one of him now…that warm, textured, snake-like winter scarf coiled around him. It strangled him in memories he only wished to forget. 

Hilarious, how he still hardly told anyone about Hiyori then. Most of his memories were locked away with Miss Sara.

~~~~~~~~~

“Somebody’s early to their first day.” His coworker sang when he walked through the door. “Your shift doesn’t start for 30 minutes, Tsukimi.”

“Well it doesn’t hurt to be early, does it?” Shin asked, crossing his arms. Annoyance found its way onto his face easily. “I’ve never worked as a florist before.”

“Nah, nah, it’s fine. I’m not the boss here.” With that, he was tossed a uniform and a head motion was made towards the restroom. “Get your butt changed.”

Shin grumbled out a thank you as he went to switch into his new uniform. Well, it was good to be working again. He had been living off his babysitting fees and the oodles of hush money he was still being sent from Asunaro, but he didn’t like telling people he was basically unemployed. When he saw the sign on the local shop saying they were hiring, he jumped at the chance. He’d buy supplies for Kanna there generally, after all.

Nana said she thought it was a wonderful idea when he told her he got the job. …Proceeding to give a bunch of gardening tips. Maybe Shin should’ve let her know about the fact his sister died from fragile, unrelenting flowers.  But, you know, it never seemed like a good topic to bring up. He just smiled, told his usual crass jokes, and prepared to get back into the workforce.

“Alright, finally . I was getting bored.”

“Don’t patronize me.” Shin looked at this new workers’ name tag. ‘Hikaru Shirome’. What person from the last century was named Hikaru? Whatever. He didn’t seem like the worst person in the world. Though his cheeky grin did get on his nerves a little. “So, are you gonna show me the ropes?”

“Oh sure. You see, I know quite a bit about flower language.” Shirome said, twirling the bit of fringe on his bangs with confidence.

“Flower language?” Shin spoke flat. Yes, he knew that existed- he was not an ignorant flea, but he thought his first lesson would be a little more substantial than ‘Here’s what this flower means’.

“Yes, well of course!” Shirome exclaimed. “It’s vital when arranging bouquets or fulfilling requests. The red rose means romance, and love primarily- but the yellow means friendship, jealousy, or even illness. It can change the entire meaning. You’ve gotta get ahead of the game.”

While he spoke, Shirome produced red and yellow roses out of his sleeves in tandem with his points. Was he keeping those in there? They’d hurt. The thorns would poke you. They’d… they’d cut your skin, tear through it, make you bleed from the petals until you were an unrecognizable crimson mess…

“Uh… Tsukimi?” Shirome reached out with the red rose arm “You okay? You look queasy.”

Shin backed up, and grabbed onto the counter breathing heavily. Goddammit, not his first day.

“I… I’m fine… your rose trick just blew me away, ehehe…” he managed to stumble out. Oh, that was painfully obvious.

“Ah… got it, no more magic tricks.” Shirome looked to the side in a guilty manner. “Sorry, I just practiced that with my uncle.”

“No harm, no foul.” Shin waved, sucking in a breath. “Let’s keep working.”

Taking a job at a flower shop. What could go wrong? Really what did he expect? That was a dumb question. He knew this was coming. He wanted this outcome. He wanted to be surrounded by the reminder of all the rot he had created. He wanted to be reminded of what a despicable person he was. One flower wasn’t enough. He had to give himself a full shop. He couldn’t face the family, so he had to punish himself more. What a disgusting existence he was.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Oi, Tsukimi!” Shirome caught up to him as he was leaving “You wanna register numbers before you go?”

Shin rolled his eyes at the request, throwing his scarf back around his neck. He just wanted to go home and forget his first day so maybe day two wouldn’t be a repeat. Not get stopped on the sidewalk by Mr Rose Magic.

“What for?”

“Uh… we’re coworkers! We gotta stay in contact somehow.” 

Shirome grabbed his phone from his pocket and waved the hand with it in front of Shin’s face that Shin would almost say was intentionally annoying. Thankfully he had more courtesy than to flip an expensive piece of technology out of someone’s hands and onto the ground where it could get cracked. 

“I’d get if you don’t wanna get chummy after this morning but we should at least have this.”

… Funny. As annoying as Shirome was, Shin wouldn’t have minded a coworkers number in his phone. Really not. But there was another problem. A wall he had put up. Something this person couldn’t possibly know.

“… Nah.” Shin gave a grin. The same kind he would’ve given in the death game “I think it’s the other way around actually.”

“Eh… I don’t follow.”

An exaggerated sigh fell out of Shin as he played with the tousles of the scarf.

“Look. I don’t think you’d actually want a number like mine in your phone. I’m not someone to be associated with.” He put on another Cheshire grin looking up with closed eyes “Capiche?”

“… Okay.” Shirome chided “Calm down edgelord.”

That fucking hit him like a truck full of dynamite. His eyes popped open at the clear insult. He expected some false words of concern, despite not knowing anything, not some… some word like…

“Edgelord?!”

“Yeah. I asked for your number.” Shirome held out his phone “I have known you for…”

He pulled the phone close to check the time before holding it out again.

“5 hours. I think I can spend time making a judgement for myself, weirdass.”

Shin clung to his scarf. Not even processing his speech. When the others in the game saw him act like that they knew what he was. They didn’t just call him names and act like it was nothing. They were scared of him, for the first time in his life. He just didn’t get the memo. Fool. Riffraff. Person who would walk into death without question. 

“… Shirome.” He said “I’m just saying… I don’t have the most savory past.”

“Who caaaaaaaares?” Shirome shook the phone around with a playful whine “C’mon man. I’m not asking for much. Just your number.”

Shin crossed his arms. Hikaru Shirome, florist, coworker, and moron.

“Fine. I’ll put it in.” He held out a hand “Hand me the phone.”

“Just so you know I’m gonna call this number once it’s put in so don’t try any tricks.” Hikaru winked.

“… Has anyone told you you are annoying?”

“Hm… no. But I have heard I have a winning personality!” Hikaru smiled.

“Ah. The other version of annoying.”

“Sad because they tell you the first thing aren’t you Tsukimi?”

Shin punched that fucker in the stomach. It wasn’t gonna hurt anyways.

“Ah… well, I’m glad to have you aboard.” Shirome waved “Good to meet you Edgelord.”

That was his permanent nickname wasn’t it?

“… Fine. Flower talker.”

… He’d get a better insult.

Chapter Text

“Who is Joe Tazuna?”

Dad’s eyes widened to an almost comical degree as he looked down at her, and Sara started to wonder if she made a mistake by asking.

“How do you know that name?” Dad asked, speaking in a gentle voice. Sara twiddled her thumbs thinking of her next move, her nerves now wracked.

“It just popped into my head.” She muttered, because that sounded better than ‘his AI seems intimately familiar with me despite the fact I don’t remember anything about him.’

“Ah. Well I also remember Hiyori mentioned something to you about him in the game.” Dad referenced, with a chuckle. “Is that why he came up?”

Crap that was right! Her handicap! She had forgotten the name of him in all her heiress rituals! She should’ve just said that. Now she looked suspicious, darnit. Her gaze churned, as she glanced off to the side.

“Heh. You’re right, he did mention that. He was… meant to be an ally?”

“Yes. Joe was with you for a long while.” Dad sighed, finally relenting. Sara was surprised he wasn’t covering up reality or anything “Unfortunately, he tried to kill everyone in the game. You had to kill him to put a stop to it.”

“He- he what?” Sara didn’t understand that. How could something like that happen and then she didn’t remember?

“It was sort of a Ranmaru situation? He wanted to protect you at the cost of the others but you wanted to prevent a bloodbath. No right answer in the end.” Dad muttered, the ‘truth’ falling out of his mouth finally with a sigh of pity.  “You even blocked out the traumatic memories. I don’t think it’s good to keep…”

“N-No it’s fine.” Sara shook her head “Thank you for telling me the truth.”

“Of course, sweetheart.” The warm smile on her fathers’ face returned. “I’m glad you brought this up with me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sara sat in the cool light of the monitors, watching Joe Tazuna joke around with her as her younger self jeered about ‘the traffic cone incident’. God, was that what she used to look like? She hardly recognized that girl anymore. Eyes shining with a sort of innocent happiness that didn’t know the horrors of this world, got to wear whatever she felt like instead of constant business suits, had the smile of somebody who wasn’t faking happiness to please her father, or the countless goons who she had a job of doing business with. The ones who’s faces melted into repetition, over and over, nothing ever different or new.  Sara Chidouin was now a faker, and could she ever recover from it? The question hassled her from time to time.

Tazuna was a likable enough person from her observation of the island sim. He had a knack for making people attached to him with his cheerful attitude, and puppy-like insistence on being your friend despite protest. Even for those he didn’t trust, he would eventually warm up and act like a long time friend of theirs.

Still it was hard to grow a real attachment from a hologram on a screen. She felt more like an outsider looking into a stranger interacting with her ghost. How could she not be put off by the strangeness of it all? She didn’t know him yet he knew her intimately. It almost sounded like the idea for a horror movie in some aspects.

Though, maybe… that wasn’t it. Maybe seeing her happier self spending time with a friend who made her visually joyous, able to see other people and be free, expressive, and hell- alive laughing made her… jealous. How petty of a person she was to be jealous of herself.

“Ms. Sara.” Safalin walked in, a mug clasped in her hand. “I brought you your coffee.”

“Thank you, Safalin.” Sara took the mug, giving a generous smile. “I appreciate what you do for me.”

Coffee at 4 am was probably not a very smart idea but Sara couldn’t help it. She had woken up to nightmares of blood that would never wash off of her. Staying awake was the only way to fend them off. She was tired of fearing for herself every night, tiresome dreams that haunted her of a past she was forever cursed to remember.

“Yes… and remember your father wants you in his office in the morning. You shouldn’t loiter too long, so he doesn’t become suspicious.”

“Point taken.” Sara blew on her coffee, before bringing the concoction to her lips. Five sweeteners and four creams. Just as she asked. 

“Safalin… is it true that Joe Tazuna tried to kill everyone for my sake?” 

Safalin seemed to recoil back at Sara’s words, startled. It was a sign that Sara had just said something earth shattering.

“Where… Did you learn that?”

Sara took note of the wording. ‘Learn’. Not ‘hear.’ It sounded more likely to be true when she put it that way didn’t it?

“Dad told me.”

“I… I see.” Safalin adjusted her glasses. “Well… yes. The death game is a complicated environment and it drove many people to the worst of places. Yourself included…”

“Thank you, I am aware .” Sara spoke with a harshness that made Safalin blink and step back when she did so. Her mind chastised herself for acting out. Don’t take it out on everyone around you. “Sorry. I know you didn’t mean anything bad.”

Safalin sniffed and nodded her head, remaining quiet as she watched the others on the screen. Perhaps… She had an attachment to these people too? Even if she did end up slaughtering them, just as systematically as the others, she did still spend time with them.

Time… how much time did Joe have with them to try and kill them? Sara was blown away by how he seemed like such a ray of sunshine onscreen, but somehow she’d gotten it from multiple sources that he would kill for her. But then again…

“I can’t do that to you Ranmaru… my precious… friend…”

Maybe she was just a bad influence.

~~~~~~~~~

Sara sat in the dark of the monitor room. Did she really want to do this? What would she do if she was addressed directly and had no idea how to do the same? This was so easy to get wrong, and even Safalin hadn’t approved of it- so she was utterly on her own in its initiation. Still, she was supposed to be braver than this, damnit. She was Asunaro’s heiress . She pressed a button and with a few noises and beeps, Joe Tazuna’s face illuminated the screen.

“Huh? Where am I?” Joe looked around the room, unaware that he was an AI. “Sara? What’s with the stuffy clothes?”

“… Greetings.” Sara said. “Allow me to explain what is happening. You are an artificial intelligence of the human being known as Joe Tazuna. Welcome to the world.”

“Wha…” Joe blinked for a few seconds, taking in the information, and then burst out laughing “PFFFFT, HAHAHA! Sara what the heck?!”

“Wha… what’s so funny?!” Sara blushed at the embarrassment of being laughed at by a computer program, her momentarily serious demeanor gone.

“You’re talking all formal and uptight! What’s with the sudden old person speech?”

“I… I am not!” She protested- but that just made him louder as she quietly groaned. “Shut up! What if someone hears you?!”

“Ah… sorry, sorry.” Joe waved, apologetic and enthusiastic. “So I’m an… artificial intelligence? So like a computer? How did that happen?”

“Um… long story.” Sara did not want to get into that right now. “You're taking the news remarkably well though.”

“Well I don’t feel different ya know? Oh, can I meet my real self?” He grinned. “C’mon, my real self has gotta be hiding somewhere! Where is he, Sara? I wanna try a secret handshake!”

“That’s also a long story.” Sara decided to skip over that. “Um… I sort of moved.”

“Whaaaat? Bummer! I guess it makes sense with the stalker though…” Joe sighed, “Well, I’m glad technology has advanced so far in the time you moved!”

He seemed just like the simulations. Fun, airy, likable, kind. How did she get someone like this to kill?

“Um… Joe… I have a question.” She said looking down. She didn’t want to meet his eyes. The guilt was slowly tearing her apart.

“Huh? Yeah. Shoot.”

“If I stayed at home… and I got into a really dangerous situation… like, life or death, and you were there… what would you have done?”

“Duh! I’d protect you of course!” Joe responded instantly like it was the most obvious thing in the world, eyes lighting up with a strength. “Anything it takes to get you home safe!”

“Anything is sort of a heavy word don’t you think…?” Sara wanted to nudge this in the right direction without giving a weird impression. “I mean in a life or death situation you’re putting a lot on the line… what if, say, someone else died…”

“Huh… you’re being kinda weird.” Joe said “everything alright?”

“Just… just answer me please .”

“… Geez. This is kinda...” Joe muttered, contemplative. “I guess maybe it’s hard to speak if it’s hypothetical… but if it was you against a stranger I guess, I’d have to take you Sara. You’re my best friend, after all. But are you sure you’re okay? This is hypothetical right?”

Sara bit her lip. That was a good answer. A simple hypothetical answered honestly, and with good intentions, but oh wasn’t the road to hell paved with those? It seemed to confirm her answers she’d gotten, and it did so in a frightening way.

“Sara…? You okay?”

So she did this to Joe. She made him a killer, like how she made Ranmaru a killer. Then she destroyed him with her own hands. Another mind she destroyed… and didn’t take responsibility for. Another disgusting part to show just why she was chosen as the heiress to Asunaro. Another reason she was an unforgiveable human being.

“Sara…?”

“You killed me Sara…” 

Sara gasped. It was just for a flash but something appeared in her mind and all of a sudden she felt paralyzed with fear. Everything terrible was happening at once, and she was being crushed and she couldn’t breathe and she killed Joe she killed Joe she killed Joe she-

“aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

“Sara?!”

She was on her knees now clutching her head and each time that concerned voice called out her name it made it worse. She was begging, screaming, crying for him to stop but he just wouldn’t it was all Sara, Sara, Sara-

“Sara!”

Sara looked to the back of the room. New voice. New… person in here. It was… it was…

“Dad…?”

Dad charged over to the monitor, shutting it off and taking Sara into his arms as he whispered quietly.

“He can’t hurt you anymore…” Dad said “No more tears…”

“Dad…” Sara sobbed, clutching him for dear life. “I… I don’t know what-“

“Shh…”

Sara bit her lip. Right. He said no more tears. She had to swallow back everything and wait for the storm her eyes were brewing to end just to let herself carry on… if she even could…

“I’m sorry… I should’ve been stricter…” Dad shook his head, bitter. “You shall never speak to the old participant AIs again. You hear me?”

Sara didn’t need to be told twice. She nodded her head rapidly, though realized it might have been too much of an outburst. She stopped herself again-

“C’mon. It’s late at night. You need to go to bed for your meeting tomorrow.”

“Okay…” Sara muttered.

She was probably going to be staying away from the island simulation for a while too, as she leaned into her father- silent in the brewing culmination of her faults.

Chapter Text

Keiji watched with glazed over eyes as coffee gurgled into a worn mug labeled “Officer Caffeinated”. It’d been a gift from his mother that even when he’d been purging all the police related things from his life, he… couldn’t really bear to part with. Though, the chips along the top were telling him that it might be time for this poor thing to go. That was a bummer.

Once the machine made a noise indicating it was finished, Keiji took his coffee with large, lethargic hands- walking to his computer, and that’s how he noticed someone moving behind the counter.

“Okay Ryoko, the jig is up for today. Go home.”

His biggest mistake was mentioning that they made spare keys for this place. He didn’t know how Ryoko got her hands on one of her own, but now, breaking and entering was just a frequent hobby for the teenage girl. The easiest thing to do was report her, but considering the circumstances- it seemed a little cruel to get her in trouble.

“Is there any progress?” Ryoko poked her head out, an impatient look on her features. Keiji had to remind himself this was not Sara but just another child who had her hopes taken away from her. Her dark eyes looked at him, sparkling with a glimmer of hope. Something he’d long lost.

As for her question the proper answer to it would be “ No .” but the thing is, he was a liar… and he didn’t want to shatter any of her dreams.

“ ‘Course. If you just give me time- I’ll have Sara back lickety-split.”

That didn’t seem to satisfy Ryoko at all. Keiji had probably used the ‘I’m making progress’ lie a bit too often, and when you did that… it made the person you were talking to suspicious as to why you weren’t bringing back results.

“I wanna look at what you have.” Ryoko refuted, closing in on him with no signs of listening to what he said about going home. She knew something was up. “What is ‘Asunaro’ doing to Sara?”

I don’t know and that’s what kills me.

“Hey, it’s nothing you should be wasting time you could be studying on.” Keiji tried to give Ryoko a light shove out of his front door “Go. Do what kids do.”

Ryoko looked annoyed at his suggestion, glaring rivulets into his soul. So nothing unusual- all things considered.

“Fine. I’ll just continue my own search.” She declared. “I’m sure I’ll turn up more than you have.”

Ay Caramba. Where were this girls’ parents? Did they know she was investigating the secret cult Asunaro? Should he talk to her parents? Whose parents let their teenage girl break into strange mens’ homes on the regular while their best friend was missing ?

“Kid, out of curiosity, what do your parents do?”

“Prosecution!” Ryoko smirked. “Probably pretty useful to your case, eh?”

“Cute, but I’m not involving you in this.” Keiji pushed her out the door. “Goodbye, Ryoko. Until next time.”

And he slammed the door in her face. Maybe it was a little harsh to do that, but if he didn’t close it quick she’d stick her foot in the door frame. Speaking from experience.

“Alright…” He sat down. “What do we do today…?”

To be honest- the conspiracy board idea was sounding more and more appealing every day. 

~~~~~~~~

It was later in the week that he got a call from an unknown number. Sure. He’d bite. What the heck.

“Hi. I’m from the association of-“

Oh, nevermind, just a teenager who was trying to get into an investigation of a very dangerous yakuza organization.

“Ryoko, I know that’s you.” Keiji cut off the voice on the other line, not at all falling for it. He’d figured out harder, frankly. “What do you want?”

“…. Fuck!” She cursed, caught off guard. “You could’ve at least let me get to the scam first.”

“What was this ‘scam’?” Keiji asked, leaning back in his chair. Not to say he was particularly sure it’d be a good one, but at the very least it’d be a hoot to hear whatever this wild child had come up with.

“I was gonna say you were late on a payment somewhere to get you out of your house. That way I could actually go in without you around. You never leave that hobble when I’m not at school!”

“… So, then, I can safely assume you’re outside right now, is that right?” Keiji sighed, already exasperated.

The other line went quiet. Good grief she was . Glad he tested the waters then, and wow - he needed to invest in some blinds.

“… Shut up, pig.”

“Okay, well- Mr. Policeman was gonna go grocery shopping.” He wasn’t actually; but it’d be funnier to tell her that he was. “But- I guess I’ll just order in.”

“I’ll take your pizza for myself.” Ryoko threatened.

Oh, for heaven’s sake-

“Do not.”

“What are you gonna do about it? Call the cops?” Ryoko taunted, a confident chuckle. “I win! I win!”

“No, you do not-“

Click.

Fiddlesticks. He’d just tell the delivery guy to ignore the weird little girl in the Sonobeno uniform outside. She’d hopefully calm down and leave him alone.

Though his neighbor’s food order didn’t exactly go as planned.

As he knew, people were great at leaving things regarding people they cared about alone. Wow, he was the world’s greatest detective. Just look at the good he was doing.

~~~~~~~~~~

The cashier at the hardware store was a teenage girl with several different piercings, and she chuckled at the padlock Keiji came to the counter with.

“Scared of robbers?”

“No. I’m scared of teenage girls.” He said. The cashier rolled her eyes at the obviously ridiculous joke he was making, because who would buy a padlock to keep teenage girls out of their home? That was stupid- and it was handed it over with a grin.

A week later he came back with groceries and saw Ryoko Hirose taking a hairpin to that padlock.

“Okay.” He went up to her and took the hairpin away. “This is getting ridiculous.”

She looked at him with a sour expression. Geez, teenage girls.

“I’m gonna walk you home.” Keiji decidedly said. “We can chat with your parents about all this and find out what to do from there.”

“They’re not home.” She said instantly.

“Uh-huh. Nice try.” Keiji put his groceries down outside his house. No way he was chancing going inside. “Lead the way.”

Two fists rested against Ryoko’s side as she grit her teeth in immeasurable (and probably justified) anger.

“Why do you get to be the only one who tries to find Sara, huh?! You just show up in my life, tell me that they killed Joe and that Sara is… some yakuza princess now- or she has been her entire life , plus you get to lead the investigation and I don’t?! I’m her best friend! Why don’t I get a say?! Answer me!!”

Yeesh. It was all stuff she had a right to be mad about. Keiji knew he was an unknown and unwanted factor in Ryoko’s life. Someone who made life harder. The way Ryoko said that struck him- her persistence…reminded him of Sara. The unwavering, “samurai woman,” Sara Chidouin. Ryoko wouldn’t give up- but he couldn’t allow this interference. He wouldn’t let another kid get hurt, dragged in by Asunaro, and forever lost by love or by life. Keiji had seen worse than her. And the fact of the matter was…

“You’re a kid. End of story.”

Ryoko scoffed, turning around with her arms crossed.

“Fine. I’ll take you to my stupid house.”

Hoo boy. Keiji was wondering now how he’d introduce himself to this girl’s parents. That was a bit of a hole he’d dug himself into. “ Hi, I am an ex cop, please don’t look up why I quit- and I was in a murder death game with your daughters best friend and her boyfriend. Yes, one of them is dead. Yes, the other is training to become head of a cult. No, I do not need to be institutionalized.” Just great. Ryoko didn’t seem much happier about the situation than he was, angrily stomping along and calling him. “no better than the pigs”, so he was half thinking of canning the idea, but also he really needed this child to stop poking her nose into Asunaro business before Asunaro cut her nose off.

Ryoko’s home was in an apartment complex, the concierge greeting her with a “Sup, Ryoko!” Resulting in the former smiling and finger gunning back. So, it didn’t seem like she regularly broke into his home. Okay, maybe Keiji was a little bit bitter about that. You would be too if you woke up one night screaming because now among all the horrifying hallucinations, Ryoko had snuck into your room. He doesn’t need another hallucination.

She took the elevator to the sixth floor, which Keiji found a good sign, it wasn’t the basement, or the fourth floor so she wasn’t gonna lock him there while she went back to raid his home. Then, she went to unlock and step into a well-defined apartment- enough to fit a family. Ryoko turned on the lights, and Keiji looked around.

“So… where’s mom and dad?”

“They’re not here.” Ryoko said flatly. “Didn’t you hear me before?”

“Uh…” Keiji rubbed his neck. Well whoopsie daisies, he was a massive idiot. “That’s not gonna work a second time.”

Ryoko went to the fridge, extracting leftovers from within and beginning to heat them. Oh nuts. He was really in it now. Feeling a single bead of sweat go down his face, Keiji called out.

“Uh… Mr. and Mrs. Hirose?! I found your daughter… around! Trying to break into my house!”

That was good right? He kind of didn’t wanna be going in and checking rooms because he didn’t wanna be “no better” than the kid, but Ryoko just sat in one of the counter seats bored while the microwave hummed. So this was… awkward. This was awkward, yeah. He made it awkward.

“So… Mr. Policeman might have made a mistake…” He started, scratching his neck to offset the awkwardness.

“Ex-policeman.” Ryoko corrected. “Let’s see the warrant, pig.”

“… Yes…” She could’ve at least hit him with that line before he did this. Now he was very self conscious of the whole “ no better ” thing. “Um… you said your parents were prosecutors?”

“Mom is. She divorced dad before I can remember. Got full custody.” Ryoko explained. “Doesn’t hang out much though.”

“Ah. Got it.” Keiji did not hope, or want to pry into what her dad would be like if an absentee mother won custody. Then again she was a lawyer. Urgh, stop prying in your mind. “So… um…”

“You wanna write a note to my mom? Tell her that I’ve been desperately trying to find my best friend and you’re uncomfortable with it?”

Breaking into my house. You are breaking into my house.

“No, because you’re probably going to throw it away the second I turn my back.” Keiji sighed, his game beat. “I know how your brain works.”

“I would never.” Ryoko gasped. The look she had was far from innocent however. Almost like a beeping lie detective the microwave chimed with her statement. Keiji knew he had to put a cap on this.

“Okay. Ryoko. Listen…” Keiji sighed “Do you know how powerful Asunaro truly is?”

“You gave me the basics.” Ryoko said “They’re some mix between a cult and a yakuza and were raising Sara for it for years and organized this huge death game in a prison complex.”

You’d think that’d be enough to turn most people off of trying to find information on them lest they wake up and find a guy burying them alive, but what did Keiji know? He knew more than that- and he was looking into them.

“Asunaro knows everything. They control the police.” Keiji explained. “They have technology you have never seen before. Perfect recreations of humans in doll and artificial intelligence form. They have been a part of the death game candidates’ lives since the beginning. Sara’s father showed his face to me just a few months ago. He’s confident in his ability to take any of us on, and they do have the resources to kill us.” He finished. “I am not keeping you away from this to be exclusive or a jerk. I’m keeping you away because I don’t want another child to get involved in Asunaros mess. The worst case scenario in my mind is that they’d want to clean you up as part of Sara’s ‘old’ life, and I don’t want anything to come down on you by snooping.”

Ryoko drank in his words, surprisingly with a considerate expression. She flipped her hand over and studied her nails almost as if she was flipping over Keiji’s words in her mind.

Keiji wondered if he was a bit harsh bringing up all that he had. He didn’t need to bring up his ‘worst case scenario’ for her to dread over, or to stamp it in just as much. He really needed some moderation over that speech…

But- Ryoko seemed to be doing the work of thinking… and threw her head back screeching out her next words.

“But… Joe! And Sara! I need to avenge him and get her back! If… if I just… sit here then I’m no better! Why do I have to trust a stranger?! Why did this happen to my best friends?! Why did…” Tears spilled out of her eyes. She gripped at her hair, frustration in her eyes as she choked on her words. “Why- them…”

“Oh! Well, uh…” 

Keiji knew he had gone a step too far. He had hoped to discourage her, not make her cry. That was probably a non-starter though when talking about the yakuza that claimed her best friends. She already was in despair after hearing about the death game, why would this help her state? It probably took away credibility from his “I’m making progress” statements too.

With an awkward cough, he started to skirt around the counter, hoping to calm the girl down by giving her small pats on the back. God, this was probably the worst scenario of this poor girl’s life.

“Why me…”

“Yeah… it must suck.” Keiji muttered. He was still a strange man to this girl, and she was alone and friendless. The most awful thing that could happen to her was probably just… what had already happened. “For what it’s worth… I’m not sharing case files, but you’re always welcome in my house. Just uh… knock first, please.”

“Ugh…” Ryoko sobbed, her voice beginning to crack. Her brown eyes shot to him with a look of dissonance. “You think that… that that solves anything…?”

“… No.” He admitted, eyes glancing at the floor and back. “But, I think you’d like a house that’s not empty sometimes?”

“Jeez…” She wiped away a bit of snot. Her face a mess- as expected. “What are you, my dad…?”

Okay, now at least she wasn’t crying as much?

“Nope. Just your friendly Policeman.”

“ Ex- Policeman.” She corrected him.

Christ- this kid was going to give him absolute hell.

Chapter Text

“How does she expect to get anywhere leeching off of her father like that?”

Ah. Sara was being talked about. Logic dictated she should go in and put a cease to her workers’ gossip… but curiosity told her to wait it out.

“It’s embarrassing. She’s eighteen years old- and yet you never see them separated. She just needs her dad around like she’s five. Doesn’t she care about reputation?”

“I agree. I would complain, but the only thing our goddamn boss loves more than his daughter is making anyone who insults her feel regret. If I voiced any concerns about the future of this company, I’d be digging my own grave.”

“Um…” Sara came in, her eyes focused on the two hesitantly. A practiced aura of calm, despite her discomfort with the prior gossip she’d overheard. “I’m here with your files.”

The two men who were gossiping about her turned to look at her, clearly caught off guard with their mini boss coming into the room. As though caught like the deer in headlights. Sara did no more than drop off the files, bow, and run out. Her ears were hot with shame, resentment, regret…embarrassment. 

It wasn’t like they were wrong or anything. Dad had… always been willing to make a big show of how much he loved her. She hadn’t exactly rejected any of it since she’d been here either since she didn’t really see herself having a choice in it. It was a bit embarrassing at times to be doted on when other staff were present, but she also couldn’t complain when she asked dad to stay in her presence multiple times for that comfort. It was just… a fact of life. Part of the deal. 

Sara felt conflicted- because she knew when her dad rejected her, and pushed her away for making ‘bad’ choices…he’d eventually come back. Comfort her, and teach her what she ‘did wrong’...because she was just a kid to him. That in itself isn’t enough to terrify the violet-eyed girl though. She’d become so reliant on the validation her dad gave her…and it was a little scary. She could use a break.

“Damn you! I have a daughter who needs me and you want me to just run wherever for your errands?!”

Sara wondered if dad thought he was speaking low enough to not be heard or if he had just forgotten Sara and her teacher for the day were in another room. Either way, she was tapping her pencil on the sheet while her instructor looked to the room he had walked in impatiently. Clearly, this lesson was not going as planned. With a sigh, father walked back into the room, pinching his temples like he had a headache.

“I have to go on a surprise business trip for a week… they’re talking to me like I don’t have better things to do.” He said with indignance. “Geez. Expecting me to leave my angel behind on a whim. How cruel.”

“Well sir, as head of the company there’s only so much you can do for your daughter.” The instructor shrugged with an air of tired boredom. “You are a little too focused on her sometimes.”

“Ahaha. Hahaha.” Dad pulled Sara close with a grin before threatening the instructor calmly. “Say that again and they’ll never stop finding pieces of your body.”

The teacher gulped, looking Sara in the eyes. Sara wasn’t really sure what emotion to conjure up. Fear? She was used to the threats dad made to other people by now. Cathartic? Not really. Insulted? No, she didn’t give a damn about these peoples opinions. She just looked back at him with sheer apathy, and that just made the man sweat more.

“Well… I suppose we should continue the lesson.”

~~~~~~~~~

Dad’s leave was filled with smothering, quite literally. She could hardly breathe from how tight he hugged her, lamenting that she couldn’t be taken with him, but oh, business called. Sara really wasn’t foreign to the idea of dad being away for long business ventures. He’d always be like this before he went. It was weird how in a way she sort of enjoyed this familiar feeling, nostalgic for times she’d be laden with far more than usual before she spent time completely without him.

Without him… maybe that was a good thing. She could show the cast of goons here that she could go without her fathers constant helicopter parenting. In a sense, wouldn't she be running the place without him here? She might as well commit and act as leader for a short time if only to shut them up.

She waved off her dad with a grin and skipped back to her instructor, ready to take on the new day she had in front of her.

“Hey, let’s start out with a drink, why don’t we?” Sara chuckled mischievously. “Coffee. Five sugars, three creams.”

The instructor sighed in exasperation as she grinned at her own antics.

“I’ll call somebody over.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

Usually when the servants came to wake the auburn-haired teen up for her breakfast- she would eat, ask about the day’s affairs, and wait for them to prepare whatever she was supposed to wear that day.

Today, she awoke when the servants came with her breakfast. Sara ate her meal in refinement, asked about the day’s affairs, and waited for them to prepare her outfit.

She supposed it made sense. She didn’t expect them to have a whole bunch of overalls ready in their reserves for her, and the breakfast was luxurious anyways. Plus, she couldn’t just sit in bed all day- that’s just what she was doing when dad was ignoring her. That was the worst feeling in the world and she despised the idea of replicating it.

It did make her wince a little not seeing dad at her desk. She felt scared for a moment before remembering he wasn’t deliberately ignoring her, just off on a trip. That really screwed with her head, didn’t it? She shut down that thought quickly, mulling back to her daily life.

“Greetings, I’m ready for my lesson sir.” She smiled at her instructor as she sat down and put her chin in her gloved hand.

“Ms. Sara… well, we should start then. You don’t want to miss any education.”

~~~~~~~

When Sarastepped through the halls, she was looked at in an obscene way. That was just how it was. It was obvious they did not value her much- which, hey. If she had to wait hand and foot on some rich yakuza princess? She’d probably be a little unhappy as well- but she couldn’t help feeling a little small under their gazes.

It was never a problem for her, though. She understood they had roles. As far as she was concerned, they were all a faceless mass.Her… and her dad were the only people in that building.

That’s why it stung so much whenever dad ignored her. She was alone with nothing but people who saw her as something to be… she didn’t even know what they saw her as. But- she knew they were loyal to father first so it wasn’t like they’d break the silence for her. She would be isolated in the building made to trap her. Having dad back was…the best experience she could get, for now. Maybe the only one she’d ever have again…

Well- Sara had no orders for today. The auburn girl could probably speak to whoever she wanted. Going up to a woman with short hair, she leaned on the table.

“So… what have you been up to?”

The woman looked side to side, a few beads of sweat forming on her face. It became apparent to Sara that this clearly took the guise of interrogating an employee about their job performance.

“I’m working on keeping the place clean Ms. Sara. You don’t have to worry.”

“Ah. It is a little unusually bright all the time isn’t it?” She smiled with her teeth. “Thanks for the help!”

More sweat ran down the woman’s face. It was clear this was a disaster.

“Heh. I have more to do. My job is never done.”

So she couldn’t do this.

“Okay! I’ll see you around!” Sara turned away and waved before her face settled back into apathy. So, she couldn’t interact with anyone.

~~~~~~~

“Hm… you look a little pale today.” Miley noted with a chuckle. 

Sara could only treat the comment with annoyance. To be working on your coding lesson and listening to Miley would be unpleasant in any scenario, but to hear her comment on her complexion was just a step too far. Sara knew that she looked awful on the best of days but she didn’t want Miley to say it.

“Why is the way I look so fascinating to you?” Sara asked in a monotone voice, uncaring. “I don’t care much for fashion advice. My outfits are picked out every day.”

“Ehehehe… I think you’re just a little upset that daddy’s ignoring you is all…”

Ignoring… dad was not ignoring her. Dad was… dad was…

Sara, at eight years old, has no idea where her dad’s business trip is. He hasn’t called once. Mom assures her that dad still loves her, but it can barely be heard over the sounds of her cries.

Sara, 18 years old, is being left alone deliberately. She messed up an Asunaro order again and now dad doesn’t want to speak with her. She’s on the ground of her room reassuring herself he still loves her. Despite all he’s done to her.

Sara is watching her dad on another business trip left alone in her gilded cage. Nobody is here for her. Nobody cares about her. The only person in this building who wants her around is gone.

“Dad still loves me…”

The corner of Miley’s mouth turnt a sinister upward, the grin laced with venom. 

“He does, doesn’t he? He’s the only person who would.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sara honestly felt goosebumps crawling on her skin. This just felt wrong. She felt like she was being punished for messing up, but it wasn’t. It was just basic dad going away. She had to cope with this much. She couldn’t let herself be crying because dad wasn’t here when she hadn’t done anything wrong. Why was she crying over her dad when he was the reason she was so isolated? She could sink to the floor- decide not to move anymore. 

Maybe the reason she’s so attached to her father is because he’s the only one she has left. She…could never hate her dad, despite what he’s done. Isn’t that cruel of her? Her mind is going to taunt her anyway, so she may as well let it out, huh? Her violet eyes glance upward- the room with silence that’s deafening. She doesn’t understand why she’s been left alone. She hasn’t been left alone. Sara… isn’t alone. She’s…got her father, always. 

Sara didn’t want to move, but in times like these she found that despite her mind saying otherwise, she often goes to find Safalin.

“It’s stupid.” She lamented, holding the coffee Safalin brewed for her. “I mean, why would I be getting this upset?”

Safalin spent a while in silence, stirring her own coffee and looking into her own reflection. A slow and methodical act… as if she was considering her words carefully.

“Ms. Sara… I’m sure you know your father is not perfect.”

Well Sara would be dumb as a brick not to realize that. He was a murderer, a yakuza boss, a cult leader, and a hostage taker. Still a part of her brain jumped at the need to take his defense when she said that. A part of her that was much louder than those other thoughts.

“… Go on.”

“Well… that’s because parents can make mistakes at times… just like anybody else.” Safalin softly explained. “And your father is a complicated man…”

That didn’t go in the direction she was expecting. 

“What do you mean by ‘complicated…?’”

“Ms. Sara, your father has worked for this company since before you were born… it’s part of him in a lot of ways.” She stirred her drink, eyes cast downward. “His identity so to speak. He, in a lot of ways, is Asunaro itself.”

Safalin then added sugar to the coffee mix.

“But if there’s one more part of his identity than Asunaro- it’s you, Ms. Sara. He loves you more than he loves himself. Just look at the way everyone in this building talks about how you are showered in attention. Look at how he is willing to fire employees who speak badly of you. You are his number one priority, Ms. Sara.”

Sara felt a warmth spreading when Safalin spoke those words. It did feel good to be loved. It felt good to be her dad’s center of the world, who he would do anything for.

“Thank you for the advice Safalin.” It didn’t feel like she was speaking anymore. She felt different.

“Yes, of course, Ms. Sara.” Safalin nodded “Your father still loves you very much.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day dad got home couldn’t get there fast enough. Sara waited by the entrance of the building where guards were posted, just so she could see the moment when her father stepped into the building.

Well, first, a person carrying a package of sweets came. Funnily enough he asked for instructions to Sara’s room. Of course he would get her a giant gift. She pointed it out while still impatiently looking at the door.

“Hello…” The doors broke open and her father stepped in. “Papa’s back from his-“

“DAD!” 

Sara crashed into him at breakneck speed. Dad was home. She smelled smoke on him, and sure enough he dropped a half smoked cigar when she charged at him, but that didn’t matter. She wasn’t alone anymore because dad was here and he loved her and-

“Sara!” Dad spun her around, joyous. “Oh, did you come to greet me? Man, I couldn’t not be the happiest dad in the world without that.”

Sara was laughing. All was well.

Until her dad had to ask:

“How did you run the place while I was gone?”

How did she run the place? She did nothing. Nothing new, nothing unexpected- just listened to instructions and did as she was told. She did exactly as dad said right? But why was that so anxiety inducing? What if Dad expected her to do more?

“I did great!” She settled on saying, her eyes with a fabricated shine. “Oh man, you should’ve seen my scores on the worksheets!”

“Worksheets, eh…?” Dad spoke in a disconnected voice. She knew it. “Well… someday you’re gonna be doing a lot more than worksheets.”

“… I already have.”

“All on your own.”

“I know.”

“You ready?”

Sara took a deep breath.

“You are his number one priority, Ms. Sara.”

“Yeeeeeeep!”

Chapter Text

Nana Ibushi was an awful excuse for a mother. As she paced back and forth in the midst of her house, she found that was the only thought that went through her mind these days. When your child has been missing for this long… it becomes unrealistic to hope to see him again, no matter how much she cried into her pillow- wishing to whatever god that existed that even though she spent her whole life slacking on religion, all she really wanted was her twelve year old son home safe. Now, the parental fear that she’d been warned about years and years ago was setting in. She couldn’t breathe- when her son was gone, it didn’t even feel like she was alive.

When the cold reality that her prayers for a miracle wouldn’t be answered were cleared away, it plucked at the strings of her heart. The familial bond she’d missed. A thought dawned on her: how could she have left her son alone to go missing this long? She’d done it before, and now she cursed herself for being so careless as to let it go on until the point he wasn’t here anymore. He was only twelve years old, but she didn’t fully trust him alone with his father and his drinking habits, so she left him with nothing instead. Such a poor excuse for parenting.

As if thinking about her husband summoned him, or mementos of him, she kicked a bottle. His habits had only elevated in intensity from the situation’s grief. A brief spark of anger pounded her ears seeing the thing. He hadn’t watched him either and instead of helping with the search he just drowned in misery. How could one man be so grief stricken and so passive at the same time? 

A step was made towards the living room, to find and give him a piece of her mind, but a knock on the door scattered her thoughts. Right. Don’t take it out on him. It’s a shared fault, and you can’t focus your anger on getting mad. Not when that could be the police at the door.

She braced herself, hoping against hope that she wasn’t about to get the news her child was found dead as she slowly cracked open the door. What she found was…

“GIN!?”

Gin was passed out, curled in on himself, wearing clean clothes, and hugging his favorite stuffed cat, almost like a dream image of himself. Nana was not sure whether this was a real living Gin… how cruel of whoever left him here to make her check for herself.

Her own pulse echoing in her ears, she slowly reached two shaking fingers down to his neck, feeling ecstasy at how warm it was. The motion of a pulse underneath was the second shot of good emotions that caused tears to well up.

“Gin…” she slowly raised his head up first, then carried his legs to the kitchen table placing him down- she would not make the mistake of leaving him out of her sight again- and ran to the phone.

“Hello? 911? It’s Nana Ibushi. My son was just left at the door of my house. The perpetrator may be nearby- No I will not hold- listen to me!”

The beeping dial tone of frustration that she had gotten used to in the past week greeted her ears, as she made a frustrated noise, but Gin had alleviated it by making his own noise.

“M…mom…?”

“Gin!” Nana ran over, grasping only Gin’s hand so as not to suffocate him. “Gin, are you okay? You’re okay, right?”

“Mom…” Gin sat up, an unrecognizable despair in the eyes of her son. “Big Sis Sara is gone…”

“What?” Who was Big Sis Sara? Had Gin been safe? This was another language as far as she was concerned.

“Me, and loner, and Mr. Policeman tried to stop her…” Gin had tears welling up in his eyes. He looked overcome by something unknown- something she had no idea about. What her child had been through. “She left us… she’s gone…”

And from then on, Nana could never understand her child again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shin Tsukimi was once again turning down a home cooked meal on the basis of upsetting his stomach. How a man like this could do half the things he and her son claimed he had done in their “death game” still eluded her to this day.

“I can’t eat that, my stomach will just… really cramp up…”

“It’s just pasta with pesto sauce.” Nana shook her head. “You won’t get a stomachache from that.”

“You overestimate my stomach.” Shin shook his head. “I appreciate the thought though.”

“I once saw the loner run out of an attraction straight to the bathroom, meow.” Gin added. “That food melon soda lady made did not agree with him.”

Attractions… melon soda lady… Nana vaguely recalled those terms, but among the constant other phrases that she heard about the death game they got a bit lost in her head sometimes. There were some more dangerous ones that stuck out in her head. Things like “the time Gin was almost poisoned to death.” Things like “Gin in a game of Russian Roulette.” Things like “Gin’s therapist for the past four years was part of this operation too.”

“Of course you saw that… I didn’t see you around at the time.” Shin muttered. “Well, thanks for the offer Nana. But I’m probably just gonna live off canned soup this week.”

“I’ll… try and find something that won’t upset your stomach.” She sighed. It’d be good to keep in contact.

“Thanks. You’re a saint.” He smiled, reiterating for the hundredth time as he left out the door. Nana was not a saint. She was a busy woman who still struggled to balance work and her child sometimes and the only relief she had was the one babysitter who knew what horrifying trauma he had been through.

She didn’t get Shin Tsukimi a lot of the time, any more than she got Gin. When Gin and Shin talked about the death game it might as well have been another language. A world where they spent every day with the threat of death above their heads and they simply lived it, speaking casually, even seeming fond sometimes with the “Big Sis Sara’s” and “Mr. Qtaro’s” who were there. Though, in a sense, she felt like he was her only window into understanding Gin. A full fledged adult who had the exact same experience, who was just willing to sit and talk.

Yet, she knew this person was hurt in a way she couldn’t fathom it, every time he spoke of his experience. The way he showed an anger he didn’t seem capable of, a shame that was like no other, pure agony and grief. That was a key feature of the death game.

And Gin…

Gin just seemed like another person she didn’t recognize sometimes. She could spot it sometimes in his behavior or how he hung outside her office with a wistful look.

“Hm? Sweetie, what is it?” She asked not wanting to turn away her child when the situation could very well be dire.

“Oh. I, um…” Gin hugged Mew-chan, his eyes going to the side. “I wanted to know if you got any emails from Asunaro, meow…”

That made Nana’s heart skip a beat. Asunaro. The same medical company they’d bought pills from to cure colds for Gin, and ran the kidnapping. Now Gin wanted to know if there was any mail from them, any reason he should be worried about being dragged back.

“No… no nothing.” Nana shook her head.

“Oh…” Gin’s features to her surprise actually dwindled in slight disappointment. “Okay.”

And he walked out of the room. Nana had no clue what happened in that exchange and was unaware of what she said that was wrong.

A young boy, forced into a situation not his own, and asked to risk his life. The result was a young boy who claimed to be wise beyond his years from what he’d seen, and a mother not knowing what that meant.

“I’ll eat your pasta mom! Woof!” Gin bounced over holding Mew-chan “Especially since dad keeps drinking instead of eating.”

Nana Ibushi had a new world she needed to adjust to. Otherwise, she doesn’t think she can go on like this…

Chapter Text

Mr. Ex Policeman looked over the flyer Ryoko had given him, with what Ryoko could only call faked interest. The grin he gave her when he looked up only sealed to her the fact she should be annoyed.

“So what am I supposed to find so mind-blowing about this document you’ve given me?”

“It says right here.” Ryoko pointed to him, her frustrated glance unheard- unseen- you get it. “In black and white-“

“Pink and gold actually-“ The ex policeman interrupted.

“Asunaro is sponsoring it!” Ryoko ignored him, not bothering with the correction. “This is prime investigation material!”

“Yes, and let me guess.” Keiji sighed- “You want to come along?”

“Obviously.” She affirmed his suspicions, a frown growing on his unamused face. He was unconvinced. Fortunately, she was stubborn, and he knew it to be significantly true.

“I don’t know… it’s just a little fun-fair. Are you sure it’s worth putting your studies on hold for?” His answer was one she expected, so the dark-haired girl gave him a subtle smirk.

“Depends. Are you going?”

Mr. Ex Policeman didn’t seem very pleased at that answer. She knew when she had that man beat. Sighing, he pinned the flyer to his cluttered fridge.

“I’ll consider taking you with me. Give your old Mr. Policeman-“

“Ex policeman.”

“… Time to decide.”

Oh it was not gonna be his decision if she had anything to say about it. But she grinned like it was.

~~~~~~~~~

Ryoko had hung around Mr. Ex Policeman’s house for quite a while now. She knew most of his routines, and how he liked to evade questions when asked them. She knew his sleeping schedule was non-existent along with his healthy eating habits, and that he talked to himself sometimes. Upon him actually granting entry to his house… that hadn’t changed.

What she still had yet to find out were what his actual thoughts on Sara and Joe were. Usually when she asked him why he was so dedicated to the search for her best friend, he’d brush it off with a joke.

“She’s a funny kid. Nobody that funny should be in a boring office job.”

“I don’t have anything better to do with my time than save someone who sacrificed herself for me.”

“I’m looking for the fastest way to get sniped in the head and I think this is my ticket.”

Ryoko had found that he was obnoxiously translucent and no amount of checking over his shoulder while he was on his computer and getting shooed would change the facts.

“Did you know the police in Japan actually collaborate with Yakuza?” Ryoko asked one day as she penned an assignment she was bored of. Usually this was the part Joe made entertainment for her and Sara. Something nostalgic for her, that she was worried she wouldn’t get back if things didn’t go as planned. A piece of her old life that had been replaced now. That’s a thought for later, though.

“It’s actually why the yakuza are able to get away with so many heinous actions while still having the reputation of being honorable to the average citizen.” She rattled off.  “The police bolster their reputation.”

“… I’m aware.” Mr. Ex Policeman said, a clear tired lilt to his voice. Ryoko felt a smirk curling onto her lips at the fact she knocked him down a peg- but something came to mind: too easy. Was this really enough? She decided to switch it up a little.

“Yeah. It’s really sick because the yakuza does some really gross stuff.” She continued, “Ever hear of Yubitsume?”

“Yes…” he sighed. “Listen. The police are a bunch of thugs. Don’t get involved with people who use violence.”

“Yeah, I know all that, but I find it so weird that the yakuza have a reputation of being honorable and noble when stuff like that exists.” Ryoko pushed the subject further, onto the world at larges opinion rather than how it got there. “You offend the boss so he decides based on how much he hates you- how much of your finger he wants you to cut off. And then you give it to him after it’s already cut off, and have to patch yourself up! What is that?” She rambled.

“… Yeesh, you like to go into the gorey details.” Mr. Ex Policeman sighed, “Well, if I were to give my bet to how the people see it, it’s like a code of conduct. You offended someone of high rank… so you must pay a high price and show it off as an apology. Something like that- just a little more extreme.” He seemed to know what he was talking about, but still he avoided the subject. Frankly, it pissed her off.

Ryoko scoffed. Here was this “Ex-Policeman” dodging the point of what she was saying- to give his reasons. She didn’t want reasons . She wanted justified anger. Though, she responded with just three words.

“Well that’s stupid.”

“Not saying it’s my view, just how others might see it.” Mr. Ex-Policeman held up his hands, but that was just the problem, wasn’t it? Everyone else saw this as normal. The one person who might not wasn’t on her side.

“Okay. Whatever. I have homework.” She looked down at it. No help whatsoever.

~~~~~~~~~

Ryoko looked in her closet for a while. The weather was predicted to be pretty cold so she had to bundle up. But what would look good? She hadn’t gone out formally in so long. Her hand went to her phone then instinctively stopped. That’s right. Sara wasn’t home. She would have to figure it out herself. She couldn’t think about it- she never stopped, and she never would. Thinking about it too much…never led to anything good.

That was alright. Ryoko had planned her own outfits before. While Sara’s eye for it was much appreciated a lot of the time, it would be good to have her own time to decide.

A white coat.

A black undershirt.

Pink pants.

Fuzzy boots.

Ryoko looked at the outfit glad to have something at her disposal. Though she could hear Joe’s voice in her head: “That needs some accessories!” She smiled heading to her closet, looking for an old hat she had. That would complete this perfectly.

Except it wasn’t in place.

She frowned, looking under that shelf to see if it fell down. No, it hadn’t. Behind the clothes? Was it stuck somewhere?

Finally her answer came when she dug out a scarf. She remembered this scarf. She offered her friend: ‘she’d trade Sara her hat in exchange for this scarf.’ Her eyes started blinking back tears- she couldn’t think too much…that included Sara. How…how could she not think of Sara though?! Ryoko’s hair was in her face, and she couldn’t be bothered to shove it out. 

…So she’d never be getting that hat back.

Ryoko felt a tear fall from her eye and land on the fabric of the scarf. Once it was one, a storm of tears hit. Falling, and flowing as though a human waterfall of the psyche. Dark brown eyes wavered in their strength as they cried. She clutched it close, collapsing onto the bed. Sobs wracked her body. It was just a hat. It was just a hat. It was just a hat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Oi, Ex Policeman.” Ryoko surprised the bumbling ex-cop as he stepped out the door.“Thought you could ditch me on the big day?”

“… Hoo nanny.” He rubbed his neck, looking down at her with sheepish eyes. “How’d you know I was going today?”

“I found a single train ticket in your bedroom.” She smirked. “So I bought my own with my allowance. You said you’d think about taking me so now I’m coming on my own!” She exclaimed, proud to have won this round.

“… You don’t know when to quit, do ya?”

“Nope! Anyways, there might be lots of scary adults! I need someone to keep me safe!”

“… Gosh, you sure know how to trip up a guy.” He muttered.

“Well? We have a train to catch!”

“… You stick by me.” He crossed his arms “Wrap that scarf you have really tight so it covers some of your face. And if anyone starts walking up to us you run and go somewhere safe. Can you do that much?”

Ugh. C’mon couldn’t the guy accept he was beat?

“Fiiiiiiine.” Ryoko said “Now c’mon let’s go.”

”… Right.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“So… why are we buying tickets for rides?” Ex-Policeman asked Ryoko, as she came away from the stand with a bucket of tickets.

“Uh… doy.” She rolled her eyes. “We need a view of the park somehow. This is how we get it.”

“… Huh. That’s a little outside the box.” 

“Alright! First up, is the ripcord!” Ryoko exclaimed with a grin. “Nice high up view of the place.”

“The whatsit?”

“Just come along, ex policeman. It’s the worst ride in the park.”

Joe loved this ride, for whatever reason. Sara always screamed and closed her eyes on it, and in most cases refused to go. Ryoko? She just thought it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. A slow rise to the top, a single drop down, and then it’s done. They would move on to better rides.

Or, they used to… Ryoko felt a lump in her throat knowing that the one person in their group who loved this ride couldn’t enjoy it anymore. Or that she was here with someone she barely knew instead of her friends.

“So this is supposed to rise all the way to the top?” Mr. Ex Policeman asked.

“Yep. We use this to survey the area.” Ryoko winked. “I’m pretty good at investigation, aren’t I?”

“Well typically, carnival rides aren’t used in police procedurals…”

“That’s because cops fucking suck.” Ryoko held no mercy.

“… Can’t argue with you there.” He grinned in a deadpan way. “But keep your voice down. You’re on Asunaro turf.”

Ryoko huffed. Well at least she got some semblance of approval. As the ride began its slow ascent she studied all the surroundings… until it went down with a cacophony of screams.

“Hoo boy. That fired up my nerves a little bit.” The Ex-Policeman said cracking his neck.

“Right…” Ryoko wasn’t sure she saw anything good during that ride. Maybe the cop found something with his detective vision? “What did you see?”

“Er… hard to say.” He said, continuing to rub his neck. “Call me conspiratorial but I didn’t suspect that Asunaro would make all suspicious activity visible from a bird’s eye view.”

Ryoko frowned. Typical answer from this guy.

“Then we hit up another ride.” She said, “To the coaster!”

That just made her dizzy rather than helped her see anything.

“Ugh… Okay. Maybe the pirate ships…”

“Kid…” Keiji sighed. “This is dangerous work. How about I buy you some cotton candy and you can take the train ride home?”

This again. Why did he always get in her way? He hardly seemed to have a life outside of this investigation, and yet all he did was tell her no. Tell her it was too dangerous. Tell her everything he could to make her just stop giving a fuck about…

Sara…?

Out of the corner of her eye, inspecting a clipboard, there was a girl, wearing a suit, but the unmistakable color of her hair, and the braid tied in couldn’t be anyone else. 

Her feet began moving. Anything else caught in her throat. The lump had grown.

“Kid? What did I say about-“

Ryoko had to catch her.

Oh, Sara went into the crowd, but it didn’t take long. Ryoko knew where her best friend was. With a bigger smile than she had in a long time she threw her arms around Sara.

“Sara! You have got to tell me what’s been happening.”

Sara was quiet for a few moments. That was weird. Though usually Joe was the master of bear hugs- (oh god Joe was dead, what had Ryoko done- no calm down calm down for Sara) it wasn’t like it was weird given the circumstances. 

“… Ryoko?” Sara asked, “What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here?” Ryoko repeated. “Obviously I'm gonna take you home dummy! We have a last year of school to get to!”

“No you shouldn’t be here.” Sara shook her head. “You should be at home. Safe.”

At home. Safe. She just sounded like that damned cop, always telling her what to do, and to stay off the scene. She had Sara literally in her reach. Why go home now?

“So… what, you want me to just leave you wherever you are?” Ryoko looked her up and down.

“Yes!” Sara nodded quickly. “I’m not even supposed to be talking to you, so this is-“

“Sara…” Ryoko knew that next voice very well. Sara’s dad came by, the same as ever, putting a hand on her best friend’s shoulder. Ryoko saw the way she tensed up. “What exactly is going on here?”

It was sort of weird. Ryoko had always seen this guy was a prick, and now she had all the confirmation but he didn’t look any different now. Same punchable face- same smiley mouth.

“Get your hands off her asshole! I know what you are now!” Ryoko yelled, her eyes gleaming with unfound rage. Her best friend was right here! She could feel her heart pounding in her chest. This was her only chance.

“Ah. You’re Sara’s old friend.” He gave that smile that Ryoko always knew to be fake. It was like the way you smiled at someone you hated because you couldn’t be smarmy at the moment. “So, just you?”

“And what about it?”

“Well, maybe just the two of us should have a little chat-“

“Actually, she’s with me.”

Ryoko suddenly felt the presence of Mr. Ex Policeman behind her. Sara’s eyes grew wide with shock and even Ryoko found herself looking behind to see if he had grown a new limb or something.

“Keiji…?!”

“Yep. Your friendly policeman-“

“Ex Policeman.” Ryoko interrupted.

“… in the flesh.” 

“Ah.” Mr Chidouin laughed, gleeful in the audibly enraged way. “Keiji! It’s nice to see you outside the whole death game shebang!”

“Huh. I remember us meeting outside another time.” Mr. Ex Policeman smiled “When you came to intimidate me.”

“You what?” Sara looked up at her dad, with cautious eyes. “Dad, is that true?”

Ryoko hadn’t heard of this either, but she was willing to bet whatever spilled out of that man’s mouth next was a lie. It always was.

“Well, it’s a great exaggeration.” Mr. Chidouin waved his free hand (the one that wasn’t still on Sara’s shoulder) around. “See, Keiji wasn’t completely on board with the contract to end the death game so…”

“I don’t remember agreeing to the terms of that contract.” Keiji said. “Everyone besides Sara was against it. And looking at her face right now, she doesn’t look too happy with being your pawn either.”

“Nonsense.” Mr. Chidouin leaned down, his eyes alight with a malicious spark. “My daughter loves her new life. Isn’t that right sweetie?”

“… Yes.” Sara affirmed, almost in a scripted way. “I love Asunaro. I’m working hard every day to be the heiress.”

“Bullshit!” Ryoko yelled. “He’s pressuring you into saying that, right, Sara?”

“Gosh, so much judgement… She is an adult now. She can make her own decisions.” Mr. Chidouin chided. “In fact, we’re going now. Right Sara?”

“… Goodbye. It was nice to see you two again.”

“No… you can’t leave!” Ryoko shook her head. “Give Sara back!”

“Sorry, but Sara doesn’t belong to you.” Mr Chidouin said, and Ryoko couldn’t get rid of that horrible undercurrent to his voice that said She belongs to me. He obscured Sara with his own body, leading her away. He was taking Sara away. In a few moments Sara would be gone again. She’d never see Sara again after this. This was her make or break moment. She could either do this or lose. She burst forward in a spring of energy but a muscled arm caught hers.

Right. She couldn’t. It was useless. She was a teenage girl who couldn’t do anything against a criminal empire. Sara didn’t even say she wanted to go home. They were her home. So she grabbed onto that stupid ex Policeman and sobbed her eyes out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Keiji and Ryoko didn’t breathe a word to each other until the train ride home. The quiet bells, the way each person got off until it was barely them in a quiet tin. Ryoko couldn’t take it anymore.

“For real this time.” She said leaning back. “Why did you decide to try and get Sara back?”

“… My real reason?” Keiji asked. “Yeesh, I have twenty different reasons. But the real one is… I just felt guilty.”

“Guilty, huh…?” Kind of a vague answer. But Ryoko could surmise someone going from what Sara was like to… that would make anyone guilty. 

“Oh god… Sara…” she teared up again, the stark reality hitting her. “What did he do to her…?”

“… I promise to get her back.” Keiji promised. “And then, she’ll be back to her old self… lickety split. Spontaneous. Yelling how she’s gonna grow tall. Good at arm wrestling…” The ex policeman spoke fondly.

Ryoko wiped her nose. So he did get to know Sara.

“Hey… Ex Policeman…?” She murmured. “Good job telling her jackass dad off. I always wanted to do that.”

“Heh… kinda strange hearing that. I’ve only seen the guy through the death game, so it’s weird hearing you know him through suburban troubles.”

“Well…” Ryoko looked out the window. Trying to find the right words for this man, this monster who took what was her best friend, and his daughter, and corrupted everything around it to this degree... “I always hated his stupid ass.”

Chapter Text

Keiji spent the ride home from the fair with Ryoko being the best friendly policeman (or ex policeman… that girl’s title was getting to him) for her. Sara was gonna be okay even with the impossible circumstances he’d been given. He’d rescue her, they’d have a good ol’ chat like nothing ever happened, and he would put this case to rest. Him, the murderer, would finally sleep at night when he fixed one of his mistakes that already sunk its claws deep into her.

Of course, when he got home he started screaming. 

Sara Chidouin, the last bits of life and hope he had once seen in her eyes, spoke in a monotone voice, like a robot speaking words pre-programmed. Obviously uncomfortable with every motion that bastard of a father made while she was stuck in place, just like those final moments of the death game he repeated in his head constantly. And what did he do to help and make this time different exactly? He had her right there and did nothing. Coward. Monster. It wasn’t enough that you left Megumi to die. You had to leave Sara in the hands of that man twice. You truly don’t care do you?

“Gosh Keiji… I thought I taught you better than that.”

No no no not now. Anything but him. Whispering in his ear was the ghost of a former mentor he killed with his own hands, gifting him with a ‘tsk’ for his spineless act.

“Guess I was right though. You can’t save anybody can you?”

He buried his face deep in his hands. Not now. Don’t acknowledge him now.

“Am I going to die here Keiji…?” Sara’s voice came next. Of course it did. Her voice haunted him, from how real…how recent, and…

He just couldn’t move or do anything… and eventually they’d go away.

~~~~~~~~

When Keiji woke up the next morning, on the ground of his apartment he was certain he heard knocking. Ryoko. Well, that girl would have to give him five more minutes. He was tired.

BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM-

Every single one reverberated in his mind. His ears were ringing like crazy, so maybe five more minutes was too luxurious a request. Groaning, he peeled himself off the floor and opened it up to a Ryoko distinctly not in her uniform.

“Took you long enough, ex-policeman.” She huffed.

He looked down at her, sure that in his tired, unrested mind that if he squinted he’d see double.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in school?” Keiji mused.

“After yesterday?” She muttered, looking to the side.

Right… Keiji had almost forgotten how he was there desperately trying to protect someone who… probably had the last of her hopes wholeheartedly shattered last night. It wasn’t just his tragedy. It was this girls moreso. At this rate he had to… make sure she was coping too. 

“…. Fine. Come in.” He sighed, rubbing the space between his eyes. “Have you had breakfast?”

Despite the girl’s protests that she did not need breakfast Keiji was willing to try his hand at the art of cooking. The bacon got stuck to the pan, no matter how hard he tried to flip it. Until eventually he was just helplessly watching the tiny raw strips cook in their own grease. He had not a single clue how to make pancake mix. At least he knew how to make toast.

“Bon appetit.” He pushed the food on the table towards the girl, seeing her survey it with an expression that could only convey the words ‘are you kidding me?’ She was clearly pretty bad at keeping her emotions down, and he was saying that from experience. A totally loud expressive unapologetic person. Definitely good traits to have but it made him worry. He was glad he at least stopped her from acting rash for once yesterday. He couldn’t afford another girl on his concious.

Though it was in studying that expression that he noticed something far more horrifying in the look on her face. The unmistakable dark circles under her eyes.

~~~~~~~~~

Last night was… rough, to put it one way. Keiji definitely knew what it was like to lose someone close to you. Course, Sara probably didn’t want the company of a murderer but well… he still had the girls’ trust to worry about.

He wasn’t dumb enough to disregard all the suspicious nodes that showed however. While Sou was a serial liar, Kai had mentioned emails before he brought up the contents. That and the only people who seemingly knew her outside of the death game had both been silenced in one fell swoop.

‘Course, Keiji didn’t think a reaction like hers to Joe’s death could be faked in any way. The way desperation was the only thing in her as she hammered on that button, until he couldn’t take the sight anymore. She dropped it, screeched in an ungodly pitch, and broke into the arms of what amounted to a complete stranger to sob about the death of her best friend. The unwarranted murder of him. Keiji… felt a sense of kinship with that scream of despair, and those sobs, and that horrid attempt to undo what was happening in front of her eyes.

So, his working theory at the moment was that the poor kid was probably being manipulated by some higher power. Maybe Miley. It’s not like a teenager could get very far running something like this on her own.

Though, when he approached her room, the sound of glass breaking was not what he anticipated.

Was there a… fight going on in there? He knew from last night, Sara had made allies with everyone here besides Alice and Sou, and he had asked Alice during their little late night chat to lay off the teenager, while Sou from one look did not seem like the type who could shatter something. So… could this be the game masters here? If so, going in could compromise him. Well nothing he couldn’t fix with a quick check. He leaned his ear against the door, hoping to hear a glimpse of what was happening.

“Stop…! I can’t breathe…! Joe…!”

Oh no.

The strangled voice on the other end was enough for him to immediately abandon logic and burst open the door, only to find Sara in her room, below a cracked mirror, swiping at the air and coughing.

“Sara…” his voice was weak. She didn’t hear it in the slightest. He quickly ran over instead, shaking her shoulders for good measure

“Get a grip!” Still no response “Sara!”

The choking noises ceased, thank everything there was in this world, and Sara was only looking up with horror in her eyes. A typical reaction to seeing his mug he supposed.

“Can you understand me?” He asked. He just needed some confused answer, some brush off, any reason that he didn’t see what he just saw.

“Ah…” Sara blinked her eyes slowly, seemingly shocked at his existence. “Kei…ji…”

“… Yep.” He put on a false grin as he watched the girl slowly turn her head and inspect the room. “Your friendly policeman in the flesh.”

Then she fell forward clutching her head. Keiji had a sick feeling as he remembered his first time with this, and the broken mirror was probably even worse. Bad luck, but she didn’t need superstition right now. The words ‘are you okay’ rested on his tongue but… he went for something more firm.

“Show me your wounds.”

The girl quietly held out her hand, and he inspected it for any damage. No bleeding, or cuts, just some whitened knuckles. Quite a lucky break for what she did.

“Heard some pretty loud noises…” this might be his only time to confirm it. “Something happen?”

“Um…” the girl avoided his gaze, her eyes distant. “It’s nothing.”

“No need to hide it. You had a hallucination, isn’t that right, Sara?”

The girl appeared like a deer in headlights when he made that information known.

“How… do you know that…?”

So, it was true. Keiji felt nauseous as he realized the magnitude of what had been done to this girl before she even graduated high school. Someone her age didn’t deserve to be messed up- not like he was. Not…with what he did.

“… Mr. Policeman knows everything.” He shrugged, standing the girl up. “Glad you didn’t get any major injuries. Sit down on the bed.”

She did not sit down once he let her go, only looking at the room in more detail now that she hadn’t just woken up from her waking nightmare.

“… Where is this place?”

“This is the third floor. There’s rooms here prepared for each person. In other words,” He motioned back to the bed that she was ignoring. “Get some rest.”

She ignored his instructions still, looking all over the room with new mobility before she finally spoke again.

“Thank you very much.”

He didn’t exactly do much did he…? Well, the girl couldn’t help being polite. He would just keep pushing for what she needed right now. Keiji found himself worried, from his own experiences. She needed to rest, and listen. But Sara was stubborn.

“Don’t mention it, but I think you should sleep a little longer.”

“I don’t want to worry everyone.” She responded, shifting to the side. Sara was tired, and bags formed under her eyes. A death game could do that, Keiji figured.

Well, it was his fault for promoting Sara. Endorsing her as someone to be trusted. He had set her up as the group’s shining star they could all trust. If she falls, what happens to the rest? She had committed to the bit now, and he set it up. In a way, this was nobody but Keiji’s fault.

“Everybody else is resting too.” He tried to argue. “No need for you alone to push it.”

You’ve been pushing it to the limits for the rest of us already, he didn’t say.

“You’ve come this far without rest. You deserve to sleep.”

She stayed quiet for a long time. Maybe she’d snap at him for how he set her up this way and she can’t quit now. If she did he’d deserve it. But instead at the end of the long silence she asserts.

“I… don’t want to sleep.”

“What…?” It’s such a simple statement. Like a child refusing a nap. This is a child, he has to remind himself, but… 

“I want to move around.” She says another stubborn line, heading for the door. Keiji makes a move to come between.

“No way. I can’t let you go into danger.”

“… please move aside… I’d rather do that than lying down alone.”

Alone huh… he remembered his first night alone after killing his hero. He didn’t need to think about it because it was always there. Mr. Policeman haunted his mind…what a laugh. A policeman who did his duty to the fullest, in the end to be killed by the organization he gave his life to…the child he gave advice to. He murdered the man who’d brought him down this path- and he would never live it down. It echoed the horrid feeling of nobody in the world coming to save you from your own actions…

“… Whew. Alright fine. I’ll lend you a shoulder. Rest just a little more.”

“…Understood.”

It was weird huh? Sara seemed perfectly fine with this set up. Her warmth pressed up against the cold body of a murderer. She knew it perfectly well, it was one of the first things she knew about him, and yet she acted like this was proper. 

“… Sara.”

No response.

“… Nodded off, eh?” He sat in silence for a while, drinking in just how wrong everything about this was. He had to keep himself from laughing. “Well shucks. You too, huh, Sara…?”

She was still asleep. He just decided to impart a little advice and hope she heard it in her state.

“You can’t acknowledge the hallucinations… once they’re burned in your brain…”

He felt a hand on his shoulder. Whispering in his ear.

“Look what you’ve done Keiji.” A familiar voice haunts his reality. “To a child no less. You truly do ruin everything you touch don’t you?”

“… Don’t end up like Mr. Policeman.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You okay?” Ryoko tapped her foot. “You look lost in thought there.”

“… Sorry about that.” He shrugged, “Mr Policeman is just thinking back to… well. You know.”

Ryoko seemed to get the picture, playing with her food, her face unreadable.

“So… you said Sara’s dad came to threaten you last night.” Ryoko inquired, her eyes shifting up to Keiji. “What happened there?”

“Heh. Apparently Sara was thinking of me as some father figure, and he was mad about that.” He replied. “Not that I think of myself as one, anyways.”

“Father figure, eh…?” Ryoko flipped over her unevenly cooked bacon. “It’s so… weird. How I know nothing about the relationship between you two.”

“… I know.” 

“I know it’s not your fault, but yesterday, when she saw you, I couldn’t read her at all. Of course that’s because her dad was there, but… augh…” Ryoko put her head in her hands, frustration tainting her voice. “She seemed so upset about him threatening you, her eyes turned to dinner plates when she saw you, but she wasn’t happy to see me either, and… it looked like she wanted to say something but couldn’t!”

“… She’s always been the type to hold back what she’s thinking in my experience.” Keiji offered.

Ryoko stayed quiet for a while, and Keiji realized he once again offered a lot about Sara when he was still virtually a stranger. It’d probably forever be an uncomfortable feeling. Something that couldn’t be reconciled. He was a man with blood on his hands, and the idea of someone like that knowing your friend, even if you weren’t aware of the blood, was uncomfortable.

“… It wasn’t your fault what happened.” Ryoko asserted.

“… What?” How did she…?

“Sara giving herself up. That wasn’t your fault. I know her better than anyone, and I know she’s a stubborn ass who’d do that no matter what.”

Ah. Right. Keiji coughed at his own mistake, shaking his head. He could deal with… that at a later date.

“You weren’t there. You can’t make that judgement.” Keiji argued to which Ryoko looked at him with an unreadable emotion

“Maybe not, but…” The dark-haired girl shrugged, and then shrugged again. “God, I don’t know! But like… I appreciate what you’re doing, and you don’t deserve to live like this.”

“… Duly noted.”

“Yeah, so.” Ryoko wiped at her eyes. “Thanks for letting me cut class without calling mom. I should probably go now but like… take care of yourself man.”

“… Are you gonna be okay?” Keiji asked. “Is there anybody else you can talk to about…”

“… Probably not. It’s a quiet grieving period.” She stood up, “But hey. It’s not so bad this time. I’ve got my friendly ex policeman here.”

“… Right.” He nodded. “Have a good day at school, Ryoko.”

Chapter Text

“So, you told me you have a side gig while you’re not here.” Shirome mused while putting a pot of tulips on the windowsill. “What is it?”

“Babysitting.” Shin said. “This one lady asked me to take care of her kid, and I just started doing it. For a while.” He briefly paused, in thought of what he should say. Eh, did it really matter though? Shin could just skim over details instantly now- vagueness was a learned trait.

“Ah… so how did you know this lady? Work, acquaintances, school…”

“Ah…” Shin knew a whole can of worms would be opened with ‘I knew the kid’ so his mind worked to come up with a half truth. Efficient, quick, and the first thing he could think of- “we met at this group counseling thing.”

“Group counseling…”

Oh way to go genius. You just advertised to this guy you needed counseling. Good going! You’re- oh no. He will not go down this path. He made a fake laugh to distract the potentially and mildly concerned man.

“Let me tell you, that kid is a handful. Not even the same way my sister was, he’s just like… um…” 

Did he just mention…

“Oh, you have a sister, Tsukimi?”

“… This conversation is over.” Shin went back to his bouquet. He shut down the conversation instantly, his voice harsh. “Kindly shut up.”

Shirome put up his hands in exasperation, going over to look at the bouquet.

“You know… this arrangement is a really passive aggressive way of telling someone you hate them.” He whistled.

“That’s the idea.” Shin smirked, giving another glance to his coworker. “We need to appeal to all audiences, don’t we?”

“Huh. Well at least you’re listening to my lessons.”

“Yep.” Shin noted crossing his arms at the result. “Aw, fuck.”

“What is it this time?”

“It looks really beautiful.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

Shin had come in the next day to see the words ‘hate bouquet’ written under his masterpiece. He grinned, going up to Shirome and nudging him.

“Have we gotten any takers on that thing yet?”

“You are so enthusiastic about that thing.” Shirome pushed up his glasses with a concerned glint in his eyes. “Why is there so much hate in your heart? Who hurt you?”

Shin huffed, grabbing his uniform from the hanger. He was tempted to ask his coworker ‘do you want the list alphabetically or chronologically?’ but that would only raise further questions. 

“Gimme a second. I need to change.”

When he came out he saw Shirome flirting with a female customer. Yeesh, for a guy with that much dirt on him, he was making that woman laugh a lot. Talk about an attention-seeker. No, no, he himself is not a hypocrite.

“Yep… I definitely think both suit you.” Hikaru smiled, a shine in his glasses “Why choose just one?”

Well, snake oil salesmen had their methods. Shin watched the woman giggle and eventually walk away with two pots of flowers in her hands. 

“Smooth moves.” Shin came in, flicking the bespectacled flirt on the back of the head. “You actually do that on everyone who comes in here?”

“If it works it works.” Shirome shrugged with a chuckle. “It actually brings about more extra customers than you’d think.”

“Maybe someday, some scorned woman is gonna find out you flirted with everyone who enters this shop, and buy that hate bouquet just for you.” Shin mused, just feeling his eyes flicker with amusement at the thought of his know it all coworker getting taken down just a single peg. He really did have a tendency to bring others down to his level didn’t he?

“Eh. I think of it more as they come here for the entertainment that yours truly provides.” He claimed. 

“I’ll keep that in mind when you get splashed with water.” Shin asserted.

“Gosh. Anyone ever told you that you have a kind, gentle aura, Tsukimi?”

“… Something like that.” 

“Oh now I know you’re joshing me.” Shirome snickered, “You have more of the aura of a really mean chihuahua.”

“Chihuahua?!” Shin instinctively felt his hands go to his head like he just sprouted pointy ears.

“Yeah. My neighbor had one when I was a kid. It would yap really late into the night.” Shirome explained. “I called him Mr. Stinky, but actually the owner bathed him pretty well. I just didn’t get along with him.”

“How flattering to be compared to him then.” Shin leaned back, feeling annoyance creep into his features.

“You want me to compare you to someone who’s nice to me? Because that would not be an accurate comparison.” Shirome said. Shin felt a slight pang at that. He had been rude in some aspects.

“Why should I be nice to you? I’m not buying anything.”

“Charming as ever. I don’t see you winning over customers with that personality.”

Shirome had a smirk on his face, like he saw that more as a fun tease than as something that would provoke Shin to rip his throat out. Ugh.

“I was joking before about getting that hate bouquet for you, but you’re the exact type of person people buy hate bouquets for.”

“Awwww.” Shirome made a heart with his hands. “Hate you too, buddy.”

“Ugh.” Shin looked over at the bouquet, flicking the flowers up and down. What a stupid thing.

“Uh… you’re not actually thinking of purchasing that for me, are you?” Shirome asked.

“No… nah…” Shin sighed. To be honest, someone else was popping in his head but… “Giving the person I’m thinking about flowers would probably be a little messed up. Not that I haven’t done stuff like that before.”

“… Oh?” Shirome leaned forward. “Who’re we talking about?”

“… My sister.” Shin turned away from the bouquet. Liar.

“Ouch. I guess you two don’t get along?”

“Never have, never will.” Shin shook his head. “She’s not my blood sister, but her… father came and forced her to come home with him. I haven’t seen her since.”

“Ah… so can I assume her dad is one of… those parents?”

Shin nodded his head. He was lying through his teeth. He was stringing sympathy out of Shirome because he was the one who hurt this girl. Manipulating him to his side like it was the main game.

“… Must be rough.” Shirome sighed.

“I’m learning to live with it.” Shin shrugged like it didn’t bother him at all. “I don’t think I wanna give her that bouquet at all, come to think of it.”

“Well… I can’t promise anything but if you give me a name, I can whip up a bouquet, free of charge, and try to find an address to send it to…”

“Thanks, but no thanks. Didn’t I tell you?” Shin looked at Shirome with a bitter feeling in his throat. “Flowers would be a fucked up gift.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Shin was about to leave that day, he gathered some gardening supplies for Kanna, Shirome looking at him weirdly. 

“Say Tsukimi, why did you become a florist?”

“… For my sister back home.” He smiled, a tinge of inexplicable emotion to it. Shirome gave him a weird look, as he left the shop to go back home and take care of his plant. His true sister. 

Chapter Text

“Father…” Sara held the data she collected close as the limousine drove into the night. The ruckus at the carnival was… unexpected. Everything from having to collect people's information by her own hand, to dad calling her park staff to everyone they met, to… Keiji Shinogi and Ryoko Hirose. As a pair no less.

Ryoko knew the truth now. Sara couldn’t deny she spent many nights thinking of how she disappeared. All Ryoko knew about was a stalker… but to think she had the full truth right before her eyes. Sara didn’t have a single doubt Ryoko would punch her stalker in the face if need be, but now she was confronting dad…

Dad, dad, dad…

“Yes, Sara?”

Keiji Shinogi… with a shock of new purple hair no less. Purple… didn’t dad say…

 Ryoko seemed to be… familiar with him. He even addressed the two of them as being together. Did he seek her out to tell her the news? Fair enough, but why would they go to an Asunaro carnival? Were they looking… for her?

Her chest felt tight. 

“Did you really threaten Keiji…?”

“I told you, didn't I? Shinogi just had a… disagreement over the contract you entered into to become the heiress.” Her dad explained. “Since his life does come under threat if you don’t follow through, it could be interpreted as such… but I am a man of my word. As long as you keep up the good work, I wouldn’t go that far.”

Her chest only grew tighter with that. After all the failures she culminated in the death game, and the dead bodies left in her wake, (Reko’s especially… something she could never forgive herself for no matter how hard she tried), this was her one gift to the remaining participants. Freedom and safety. She made her choice and worked to uphold it every day. Keiji couldn’t just… act like she was some pitiful thing needing to be rescued.

Whatever the real answer was… Sara would find out soon enough. Personality updates were coming to the AIs incredibly soon- and she did record what she could on Keiji and Ryoko while she saw them.

She was… such an awful person.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, Sara I presume?” The man they were doing business with held out his hand. A look of apprehension present on his face. “It’s good to meet you in person.”

Sara studied him. Pointed features formed a face that told her no, this man was looking at her with a more critical eye than ‘nice to meet you’. Even still, she returned it with a smile and met his bony hand with her gloved one.

“A pleasure to meet you too, sir. I look forward to working with you.”

The place they were at was a high end sushi bar, with extravagant prices no matter what was picked. Sara simply let dad choose for her while she impressed the business man.

“The current company project is personality updates to the AIs. I was able to collect large amounts of data for the project.” She bragged like that wasn’t sickening- the way her eyes had a glint, giving life to a lie. “I also think private experiments could be… beneficial? After all, artificial intelligence is still a field that is unexplored to the degree we have. It’s meant for purposes like say… reuniting you with loved ones?”

Her father laughed as he ruffled her auburn hair. “Quite the little businesswoman, aren’t you?”

Something felt off with his laugh though. She knew they were meant for something like that. Didn’t Safalin say during the death game ‘the dolls were made as mental relief’? But…

“Well she certainly understands quite a bit about the business. I’ve heard she’s been able to take… major steps without your guidance as well.”

“Oh yes. She’s incredible!” Her dad boasted. “I’ve told her to keep up the good work!”

“I did start an independent project… a new orphanage to replace the one that went under.” Sara recalled. She had long shot down the pain of the regret, burying it deep within her mind. “After all, they are useful resources to us.”

She put on the veneer of a slimy businesswoman, and grinned at the man before her. The heir to Asunaro was selfish, and cunning. A facade she would live, and die for. “It’s better to bring in more people for the long run.”

“Hm…” The man studied her facial expression, trying to see through what he could not.“Yes. You do seem to have a sense of the basics.”

I do what I can. Those were the words on the tip of her tongue. She didn’t want to expose herself too much, though. She was dad’s perfect daughter who made a calculated business move. Nothing more. Nothing less.

“That’s my Sara.”  Her dad asserted with no issue. “Always focusing on the important parts. Right, sweetie?”

Sara understood that was less a question and more of an order. She made sure to look at him and nod her head to give the signal that she understood.

“I’m glad you raised her right Chidouin. I was worried having her come into the business late would bring-  …complications.”

“My Sara? Of course not! She’s been training her whole life for this position!”

“Yes… clearly your training has paid off.”

“Well, hey! I’m nothing if not a father!”

It seemed like the two men were having a conversation now. Sara kept herself silent, only speaking when spoken to. A situation navigated. An associate was pleased. Her father was immeasurably proud. She could eat her sushi and pretend to care about this new venture… then leave.

~~~~~~~

“Safalin… have Sou or Gin tried looking for me?” Sara asked one day, causing the woman to jump so high that Sara assumed she’d rocket out of her skin.

“Um… I assume you mean Shin Tsukimi when you say Sou…” She said readjusting her glasses “And um… I’m not really in charge of surveillance of them-“

“There’s surveillance?” Sara felt herself lean in and Safalins face spawned five more beads of sweat. Ah right. Personal space. She backed up a bit.

“Oh… I shouldn’t have said that…” Safalin shook her head. “But yes… Um… even if it weren’t for your deal, Ms. Sara, we do have to keep the AI’s up to date. We’ve been doing it since before the death game.”

It made sense. Sara hated that. But it made sense. She nodded her head at Safalin, telling her to go on.

“I still work with the AI’s- however… experiments and such… and I found no data of the sort.”

Yeah… made sense. Gin was just a kid, and Sou hated Sara’s guts since day one. At least… they were safe. That’s what she told herself as she pictured the heartbreaking image of Gin moving on without her.

“Yes, that makes sense. Apologies for bothering you with these trifles.”

“… Ms. Sara…” Safalin reached out a hand. “If your burdens ever become too heavy…”

Sara turned away. She knew perfectly well what Safalin was suggesting. She knew, she just… she didn’t want to. She liked Safalins company but she knew better than to trust one of the women who held her hostage in the death game for so long.

“I-I-I appreciate it- Safalin, I truly do… but no. I can’t… I can’t do that.”

Sara felt the hand behind her lowering. A hand went up to clench her own arm, ashamed of herself. 

“I hope you’ll do better soon, Ms. Sara.”

“… Thank you Safalin, but I already chose. Everyone else takes priority.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Personality updates were at last being finalized. Sara spent her days going through code with Miley, and correcting inconsistencies, while arguing about new ventures.

“I don’t think Asunaro wants our dolls being shown to the public this early… let alone in the way you’re suggesting.”

“Look, Midori’s use of doll limbs were… most likely for entertainment purposes- but I think doll limbs as an enterprise could save lives. I mean, he was able to replace his entire head ! Imagine how much people would pay for technology like that!”

“That isn’t the kind of business we do. I know you’re trying to sneak in goody two shoes ventures behind your fathers back, but be practical.”

“Not the kind of business? Our front is a medical company! This does way more to build up good will among the public than a freaking fireworks festival!” Sara threw up her arms. “But… dad is never gonna listen if I bring up something like that. But if someone like you did…”

Miley gave Sara a sour look.

“Explain what someone like me means.”

Sara bit her tongue, berating herself in her mind a little. Talk business, this isn’t the death game.

“I um… I meant…”

“Ahahaha. That’s a good look on your face.” Miley grinned. “But I don’t think your dad will listen to me anyways. You’ll need the ear of someone a lot higher up if you want that idea to go through.”

Sara sighed, partly in relief that Miley wasn’t going to unleash her anger and fury, but mostly annoyed. Who would she get the attention of in this building that didn’t hate her guts to the same degree of or even more than Miley?

“Thanks anyway.”

“Ehehehehe, you’re thanking me? Wow. How the mighty have fallen.” 

Sara chose to ignore that comment, getting through the rest of the day with ease, and trying to map out employees who she could suggest her “doll limb prosthetics” idea over the next week… she was considering… biting the bullet and going to dad. Though the idea of an argument spawning that way scared her. Maybe get the support of multiple employees? Miley was a maybe and Safalin would support her! Urgh who else who else? Should she just get a petition going? She was no good at talking to people.

Then the personality updates were finished and Sara was back to regular projects.

Though she didn’t have that to worry about. She had to get to Ryoko.

Ryoko’s AI was a little harder to find than the participants of the death game, and had less data than their files, and even Joe Tazuna’s in the pre death game stages was beefier but… Ryoko was still Ryoko. Sara reached for the power to start but… 

Tazuna… would Ryoko remember him if she bought up what happened? Would she start talking about him? Sara began to remember the horrible images in her mind associated with Joe Tazuna and decided no. She didn’t want this again. She didn’t want dad to catch her again and ban her from Ryoko too.

Though… then to get what she wanted she’d have to ask an AI she was banned from as well. 

She gulped, slowly typing in and asking for the update on Keiji Shinogi. This was… a bad idea. But maybe… she was a little curious what actually happened.

As the screen loaded and Sara held her breath she briefly wondered if this was worth it… just as a head of purple hair filled up the screen.

“… Huh. Sara.” It looked her up and down “I’m guessing I’m an AI?”

Sara felt herself shake. No, not just shake. She was seconds away from heaving. This was not allowed. She felt like she could cry talking to Keiji again. But…but- she was breaking dad’s rules to do so.

“Yes. Correct.” Sara nodded. “Um… I wanted to know… how do you and Ryoko… know each other…?”

“Ah… that…” Keiji rubbed his neck and Sara suddenly realized it may have been a mistake to pick the AI of the person who loved to dodge all her questions. “Well… You wouldn’t believe me if I said we both enjoy the fine art of studying at the library would you…?”

“Keiji…!”

“Okay, okay. I sort of ran into her and accidentally let it slip that I knew you. Kid wouldn’t leave me alone after that.”

“That does sound like Ryoko…” Sara muttered, her eyes glimpsing to the floor briefly. “So, did you just start looking into finding me after that?”

“Ah…” Keiji rubbed his neck again. It felt so surreal, and familiar. She…missed the guy. “Well… I had been investigating since the beginning… Ryoko just horned in…”

“You what?” Sara shook her head, taken aback. “Why would you do that?!”

Keiji was silent in response. Sara knew she should expect that but…

“I wanted you and Gin and even Sou… to be safe… if I leave here it puts you all at risk? Don’t you get it? I can’t just leave on a whim because I don’t like it here!”

She knew she was just yelling at a computer. An approximation of the real thing. It wouldn’t do any good. But… What was so hard to understand?

“… Didn’t expect you to be so up in arms about a rescue attempt, haha.” Keiji’s laugh sounded weak. A false imitation of what was already his false imitation of a laugh with a strained voice to match. “I guess… I don’t feel comfortable with happiness based on your suffering, kiddo.”

Happiness based on your suffering. Sara felt like she could faint or throw up or both at the same time. Is that what this was? Her suffering just to make other people happy? But what was so wrong with that? Shouldn’t she be glad she did something good with all her projects that wouldn’t come to fruition?

“Whoa… Sara?” Keiji asked, “You look like you’re about to cry there.”

“I-I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be showing that.” She wiped her eyes. “And for yelling at you…”

“… Both natural things I think.” He commented after a period of silence.

“Yes well…” Sara shook her head “Can you tell me one more thing?”

“Anything for you.”

“Right. Um… did dad really threaten you…?”

“Ah… that…” Keiji sighed, recalling the event. His image on the screen briefly looked to the side. “It was just some family drama. Don’t worry.”

“Family drama…?”

That seemed to tip off Keiji that he said something wrong.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Keiji. What did dad talk to you about? I need to know right now-“

The monitor shut off.

No.

“Sara…”

No. That voice.

“Didn’t I tell you not to speak to the participant AIs?”

No, no, no. Her heartbeat was wild, it was coming out of her chest. She felt the stains of drying tears on her face. The sweat that beaded her forehead, the fear of that…that gleeful-

Sara turned to nobody other than her father, smiling wide.

“Oops! I got lost, hahahaha!” She lied immediately. Sara trembled, just barely at the realization she told a faulty lie. An easy to see through lie.

“Oh, that’s a shame.” Her father responded, a condescending lightness to it. “You even turned on the Keiji AI by mistake too!”

“Ahahahahahahaha!” Sara hoped that if she kept laughing, the awkwardness would subside. “I um… have a new proposal!”

“Oh?” Her dad looked intrigued.

“Midori was able to use the doll limbs as prosthetics for most of his body and even the head! Since we advertise as a medical company, we could make plenty of money and raise good will that way!”

“Ah! Brilliant idea!” Dad smiled warmly, appearing to forget the prior topic. “Let’s get something drawn up.”

And the subject was changed. Sara was safe. She sighed in relief… safe .

Chapter Text

“I’m going to be dropping you off at Shin’s day job today.” The light turned green and Mom stepped on the gas, continuing forward on the road approaching school. “So bring some toys! He said it’s okay! You can entertain yourself that way while he’s working!” 

“Oh, yeah.” Gin had heard Loner was working somewhere new. That was probably good. He could get more money to feed his skinny bones and he wouldn’t be talking to mom as much. Though any hiring guy who heard what loner did to big sis Sara would turn him away instantly so he had to have lied and tricked his way in. As usual. “Where is he working, meow?”

“A flower shop.”

Gin slammed against his moms’ seat so hard, that the car swerved into another lane.

“HE WHAT ?!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A flower shop. Gin knew the loner was awful, but not that bad. As he stormed up to the shop with arms full of toys, mom knew he was charged up to make cat food out of loner.

“Gin…? Are you okay?”

“Yes, mommy.” He turned to her. “Can you hold open the door for me, meow?”

“… Okay.” His mom murmured, cautiously approaching. “But, can you please tell me-“

As soon as Gin had a way into this evil place, he rushed straight for loner, dropping his toys to punch him in the stomach.

“GAH! GIN WHAT THE-?!”

“Loner! You forgot about bucket girl, meow!” Gin yelled in rage, fumbling back. “I thought you cared about her at least, woof! Enough to do bad things to big sis Sara, woof! But…”

“Gin! Now is not the time!”

“Gin! What is going on with you and Shin?!”

“Yo Tsukimi, who's the kid?”

Shin sighed motioning to mom.

“I’ll explain. Shirome, can you handle him?” 

“Oh I’m great with kids. It’s too bad I don’t have my magicians set with me…” Said some guy with glasses. 

“Weird as usual.” Loner sighed “Anyways Nana.”

Gin glared watching the two of them leave. He wanted the loner to leave his mom alone!

“So… I see you got some toys here.” The guy lowered himself to Gin’s level. “Any games you got in mind, kid?”

Hm… despite the fact he worked with Loner, he didn’t seem like a bad guy. He probably didn’t have an evil past.

“Well, Magician, I’m not a kid. I’m a big boy, meow.” Gin huffed. “I’ve seen stuff you wouldn’t believe, woof.”

“Magician, eh?” Magician chuckled. “Well alright. No games, then?”

“… I do have one, meow.” Gin said quietly.

“Well, move it so it’s not in the workspace.” Loner came back, a hand wrapped around his scarf. “Nana’s leaving.”

“Tsukimi…” Magician stood up, eyeballing the Loner. “This the kid you babysit?”

“Yeah…”

“Hm… so do I get the explanation of why he attacked you?”

The Loner huffed, not giving into his questions. “You can fuzz off.”

“Whoa language. There’s a kid around.” Shirome calmly exclaimed. “Well I think we can get away with entertaining the kid as long as we don’t fall behind. Wanna go first?”

“… I’m just gonna focus on work.”

Gin lowered his mask to stick out his tongue. Stupid loner. Never to be trusted.

“Okay let’s move these toys. Beep beep beep.” Magician said giving Gin a gentle push on the back.

They ended up moving to a corner where there were some giant pots filled with flowers. Gin thought they were all ugly.

“Uh… hey. Just so you know, I don’t think Tsukimi isn’t playing with you because he’s mad you socked him. Chances are- he probably just doesn’t want to talk about himself. If that helps?” Magician tried to explain.

Gin didn’t like that. Why was loner avoiding bucket girl? Bucket girl used to be his reason for everything. Now he threw her away just like he threw her away before. Gross.

“The toys are prisoners.” Gin said “They’re fighting for freedom, meow.”

“Oh…” Magician picked up a black cat with little green eyes. “Who’s this?”

“… The hero.” Gin picked up a pink fox, an unreadable look in his eyes. “And this is another prisoner woof. But he hates the hero and keeps trying to kill everyone, meow.”

“Eh… how come?” Magician inquired.

“Because! The hero’s dad was the one who trapped them so he blames her for everything, meow! And he wants everyone to suffer because they see past her family and know she’s a good person, woof! And he uses his sidekick to ruin things for everyone else too, woof!”

He held up a green bird with flappable wings.

“Heh… okay… um…” Shirome dug around the pile and found another cat, this one white.

“This’ll be the hero’s evil father!”

“Meow… I guess that one will do, woof…” Gin said taking a detective Pikachu plushie “This’ll be the hero’s assistant meow. He’s super lame woof!” His last plushie was a hot dog “This is hotdiggety dog! He seems like a bad person, but he’s actually really nice!”

“Okay… can I take the liberty of being the hot diggety dog?” Magician chuckled, going with it..

“Sure meow!” Gin smiled, fond. “Although he’s way stronger than you are woof.”

“Ah… noted.” Magician positioned the black cat to face the white one. “Father, I reject your evil bloodline! I am going to help my friends escape this prison together!”

He then lowered his voice speaking through the white cat.

“This is not what I raised you for… you were meant to guard the prisoners!”

Gin then threw the fox at the black cat knocking it out of Magician’s hand.

“What the-“ 

“That’s the bad guy. He likes to attack the hero for no reason, meow.” Gin picked up the fox speaking in a high pitched voice. “I don’t want to work with you black cat! I know you’re cursed! We should shun you!”

“Well…” Magician picked up hot diggety dog and started speaking in a super goofy voice. “I don’t trust the hero but she’s a good ally right? I’d be happy to have her!”

Didn’t fit the character at all. Gin took Pikachu, positioning him upright.

“I think we should trust her too. I’m always on her side.”

“Aw…” Magician smiled before turning the cat towards everyone. “Thank you all…”

“Hm…” Gin picked up the fox and the bird “Birdie. Listen.”

The Magician watched him, amused as he had the next conversation play out.

“I need you to do work for me. Ensnare the hero and make her pay.”

He then turned the fox towards Magician. “And once she betrays the hero I’ll throw her away! After all I don’t need-“

“Are you two having fun with your little game?” 

Gin glared up. Ugh. Loner. Of course he was listening to them. After all he always was a big snoop.

“It’s none of your business, Loner! I’m playing with Magician!”

“Uh… sorry Tsukimi.” Magician waved a hand dismissively. “I didn’t intend for the kid to like me more than you.”

Loner looked down with a face that said ‘I’m super duper angry’ but not at that. Gin held his toys close. Stupid Loner.

“Oh I just think this narrative is a little one sided is all.” Loner waved a hand “This ‘hero…’ she’s been trained to kill the prisoners hasn’t she…? And she’s lived a life of relative luxury beforehand. While these prisoners… obviously to be here they had to be the type who you wouldn’t get a huge news coverage of if they just disappeared . This so-called ‘bad guy’ was probably someone who wouldn’t see much attention if he dropped off the face of the earth… having to watch everyone side with someone who could easily kill him… someone who had lived such an easy life… don’t you think that’d be annoying?” He rambled, a bitter look in his eye.

“… Dude.” Magician deadpanned. “He’s 12.” 

Loner seemed to pause, apprehensive- before shaking his head.

“Gin, why are you playing this game in the first place? Isn’t it… in poor taste?”

“I don’t want to hear about poor taste from you, meow …”

“Gin… I understand you’re angry about everything… I can even accept a loss or two and say yeah- be angry. I’m working at a fu- a flower shop; but please…”

“Why shouldn’t I be angry, meow? Everything that’s wrong is all your fault anyway, woof!”

Loner paused, stepped back, and looked down. Gin didn’t like that. Didn’t loner usually retort with something?

“I’m sorry. You’re right. I’ll get back to work.”

“Ah, nuts-“ Magician shook his head as Shin ran off. “Tsukimi!”

Gin messed up.

~~~~~~~~~

After a strict talking to from Magician, and a long bit of waiting, Gin approached Loner, holding the green bird toy.

“Here.”

Loner looked at it weird, but slowly took it, holding its wings out.

“Did you tell Shirome anything?”

“Nope. He’s still clueless woof.”

“Good. The last thing he needs to know is what our damage is.” Loner sighed, clearly exasperated. “It probably was my fault. I haven’t admitted it, but that’s why I came out of it. And I…”

Gin knew the loner had a big mouth. Constantly blaming, yelling, and being rude. It was weird these times after the death game where he… put himself down.

Gin thought it didn’t suit him.

“It’s not your fault, meow. And it’s not Big sis’s either woof… it’s nobody’s… we all…”

“God… wouldn’t it be so nice to have a convenient person to blame though?” Loner laughed. Gin frowned.

“No. Doing that makes you scary, woof.”

“Ah…” Loner leaned back. “You are a good kid Gin. If I have one thing I don’t regret, it’s the fact I stood up for you at the banquet.”

“… I’m glad you’re alive, meow.” Gin enunciated after a moment of silence. “You’re nice to me… you do so much even though I keep hating you… you’re always there for me… I think you do good by being alive, Loner.”

Loner said nothing. He left Gin in nothing but silence as he glanced at him again, averting his eyes.

“...”

Shin couldn’t speak a single word. Not even to deny it.

Chapter Text

Ryoko was never really popular at school.

Neither was Sara- or even Joe. They were a small, contained circle of friends. That was a world Ryoko would cherish. It was a world that she dearly missed, one she may have taken for granted at the time. But, now they were gone- and Ryoko had to face reality- none of her friends remained. 

“How are you dealing with it?” Her school counselor asked in a voice…overused. She was dull to it, uncaring, knowing that a job didn’t mean real empathy.The voice that Ryoko had heard her use with everyone in this office. “Have you made any new friends since?”

“… I don’t want ‘new friends.’” Ryoko crossed her arms, a bitter look in her normally gleaming brown eyes. “I want Sara and Joe back.”

“… I understand Ryoko. That’s a very normal thing to want. But right now, your needs revolve around something else. After this long, I think it’s time to move on.”

“I…” Ryoko stood up, resilience and grit in her hardened gaze, “am not going to ‘move on.’”

“Perhaps I used improper phrasing. But I think focusing all your energy into the disappearance of your friends isn’t healthy.” The counselor reached behind her, and put a sheet of paper marked in red on the table. Ryoko didn’t have to look too hard to recognize it.

“It’s clear your grief is affecting your studies. Your mother has given me permission to tell you that if you don’t see an improvement soon, you might be looking at cram school. I’m sure you don’t want that.” Her counselor spoke clinically, like she was just an unruly patient. She was uncaring- and the black haired girl couldn’t bring herself to take it seriously. “So please, can’t you make an effort, Ms. Hirose?”

Ryoko looked at the inky red blotches on her test, slowly reaching out to pick it up. When it was finally in her hands a teardrop fell onto the paper. She was stiff- she didn’t want to cry. She…can’t give up hope.

“I understand.”

“Thank you. You’re very brave.” The counselor commented, with a tone that Ryoko would describe as lifeless. “You’re dismissed.”

Ryoko clutched the test tightly, like it was her one lifeline in this shitty world, and walked out slowly, small steps, until she was outside and took a deep breath in… no more crying.

She crumpled up the old test into a ball and threw it into the nearest dustbin as she walked to the next class- funny how they were worried about her grades but sent her to the school counselor in the middle of classes. Ryoko would walk down the hall, not sparing her own feelings. She couldn’t cry- not when a single thing couldn’t be done. It was ridiculous, how nobody believed her, not even the police…not even her school took her grieving seriously.

“I’m just saying, Hirose was the last one seen with Tazuna, and nobody knows ANYTHING about Chidouin. Isn’t it suspicious?”

“Uh… geez I don’t really think there’s much to put together from that.”

“Well, get this! Hirose and Tazuna were dating! A jealous lover, perhaps? They say hell hath no fury like a woman spurned.”

It was probably best to stay out of it.

But Ryoko did not care about that one bit.

“Hey, you.” Ryoko went up to the boy who knew ALL that juicy gossip- a faux grin appearing on her face. She beamed, from ear to ear, dried tears that glinted in the light. “I’m curious. How do you think I made my boyfriend and best friend disappear? Your stories are so interesting!”

“Gah!” The boy practically jumped, unnerved at her eavesdropping. “Hirose?”

“Yeah! I thought you were really fascinating!” She looked at the girl he was talking to, chuckling. She was tired of this- she didn’t care.  “What about you? Think I’m a killer?”

“N-n-no! Um…”

“Then, it’s funny that you think you have any business to talk about me like that.” The grin of the Cheshire cat on her face grew. “In fact, never talk about my friends again. Capiche?”

“Hey. What gives you the right?” The boy glared.

“Uh. Maybe not being a shithead.” Ryoko retorted in a know it all tone.

That’s why she showed up to Mr. Ex Policeman’s house with a bruise on her face.

“I’m afraid to ask but… did you get in a fight?” 

“Nah… the punk ran away before I could fling back at him.” Ryoko rubbed her cheek, gaze averted. “I heard the guy saying some stuff about me, so I talked back. Guess the guy could dish it out, but couldn’t take it.”

“… Well, I have an ice pack. And some friendly advice from your friendly ex policeman.” He walked in and Ryoko followed the taller man after crossing her arms. “If you fought back and someone caught you both, you’d have both gotten suspended. Next time, what you do when someone’s talking about you is you call your friendly ex-policeman.”

“You?” Ryoko sat down on the sofa, stifling a laugh. “What are you gonna do?”

“Well… I’ve got some eggs from before the death game that I really need to get rid of…”

“No way.” Ryoko exclaimed, her eyes instantly lit up. “Yes, yes yes yes yes!”

“Okay glad you liked that idea.” He said, coming over with the ice pack. He saved a chuckle, looking at her with the other hand behind his neck. “Put that on the bruised spot, and it’ll ease the swelling.”

“Mmmgh…” Ryoko grumbled, putting the ice pack on her cheek. “I need help with my homework.”

Probably a selfish request with Sara still out there, but she knew she wasn’t going to get much help at home. Mr Policeman seemed to give a sympathetic look, not asking questions (but also not hiding his little sigh)

“Alright. Show me. I’ll see how Mr Ex Policeman can serve the citizens.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ryoko wound up staying until it was late evening, forcing Keiji to help her study. 

“Well, Ryoko, it’s been fun- but I can’t keep you too late. You need to get home soon.”

“Alright. But can you at least walk me home?” Ryoko asked, shuffling slightly. “I’m… worried about Asunaro.”

“… of course.” He nodded, a soft smile coming to his face. “Get your things together. I’ll prepare to take you home.”

“Alright.” Ryoko grinned. “Thanks man.” She wondered about Sara and Keiji’s interactions. She… could see in a way why Sara would see him as a father figure.

“… Yeah.” 

Ryoko was able to pack things up easily. Though tapping her fingers on the table when Mr. Ex Policeman was taking forever wasn't on her list. She ended up giving in to her own nosiness, getting up to check on the big guy, hearing muttering down the hall. Right. She had seen the guy talking to himself a few times. Curiously she pressed her ear to the door trying to make out a little bit of dialogue…

“I’m not replacing anyone… I’m still looking… just… leave me alone won’t ya?” Footsteps. Shit. Ryoko did her best to stand a respectable and inconspicuous distance from the door as it opened and Ex Policeman stepped out, clearly perturbed at seeing her there.

“… Finally.” Ryoko lolled her head in an attempt to look into the room behind him for who he wanted to ‘leave him alone.’ She swiped some black hair that had gotten into her face, putting it behind her ear. “You’re slow, y’know that?”

“… Well, I guess we oughta get going.” He flashed her a small smile, turning Ryoko around. Shit. That backfired. Well only one thing to do now.

“Who were you talking to?” She tried to interrogate.

“… Oh you know.” He shrugged his shoulders, “Just old Mr. Policeman talking to nobody.”

So he wasn’t gonna tell her. Fine.

“Ex Policeman.” Ryoko corrected.

“… Right.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was the second time Mr. Ex Policeman was being brought into Ryoko’s home. Through an invitation instead of wanting to tattle to mom about home invasion. Ryoko, admittedly- didn’t know what she thought of Mr. Ex Policeman after all this time. She was pretty sure if the guy wanted to hurt her by now he’d have done it, seeing how long she’d spent alone with him in his own house- mostly through her own persistence to insert herself. Still the situation was just way too weird to be fully settled with. He knew Sara and Joe . She knew nothing about this man and yet he watched Joe die.

“Say Mr. Ex Policeman…” Ryoko looked up at him “Did Joe… suffer when he died?”

He seemed shocked at the sudden question, looking with eyes that swirled with an abyss of unspoken emotion- just briefly did his expression become one that no person should normally have. Something of unthinkable fear, and haunted by endless stress and fight for survival. A battle he fought, and survived…a battle she’d never know. Keiji gave her a faux, soft smile of comfort.

“Nah. He went peacefully.”

Liar.

“Thank you.” Ryoko quietly responded, having a good idea of the painful truth. One the ex-policeman knew she didn’t need to hear.

 She knew it was to spare her feelings, or whatever. Yada yada yada- It always felt like he wanted to make up for something with her. Sometimes she appreciated having someone who cared. Sometimes it felt like a pathetic attempt.

“And… my place.” Ryoko took out her key ring, swinging it around on her finger. “We part for the day, ex policeman.”

“Keep putting ice on that bruise.” He rubbed his neck in an avoidant way. Obviously, he felt bad about lying through his teeth. “You don’t want it to swell.”

“Yeah, don’t worry. It’ll be fine.” Ryoko unlocked the door, her back to Keiji. “I gotta make sure mom doesn’t see this… she’s gonna freak.”

“See what, Ryoko?”

Busted… why of all days did mom have to be here today? Ryoko leaned into the door to hide her bruised cheek and simultaneously avoided eye contact with mom. That probably just left the question-

“Who is this?”

“I’m Keiji Shinogi. Private eye.” He walked in calmly, holding out a hand. “I’ve been looking into the disappearance of your daughter’s friends for her.”

“A private investigator? Ryoko, how did you get the money for that?”

“Ah, no fee. I’m doing this out of the kindness of my heart.” Keiji shrugged.

“Oh geez let me get my purse… I have to pay you something…” Ryoko’s mom went back into her room, and Ryoko breathed out, finally walking in inconspicuously and not making her bruise obvious. Her mother sounded exasperated.

“I… really don’t need payment. I do this in my off time-“ Mr. Ex Policeman gave Ryoko a glance,  while her mom came back with the money. “Ah. You’re sure about this?”

“Just take it.” Ryoko nudged him. She knew that guy needed some money anyways. Keiji sighed in a way like he was giving money while he took the bills.

“Ryoko… your face.” Mom suddenly called attention to the thing Ryoko had failed to think about- crap. She completely forgot for a bit. “I see the school calling me about you getting into a fight wasn’t wrong.”

“… Am I suspended?”

“Don’t worry. I managed to talk them into just a week’s detention.” Mom gave an exasperated sigh while still showing off her lawyer expertise, “The last thing you need is missing more school. Speaking of school, let’s talk about the fact you threw out a test you failed .”

“… Oopsies.” Ryoko singsonged, putting her hands behind her back. Her mother glared at her, and Ryoko then averted eyes. 

“If I can interject, ma’am…” Keiji raised a hand- an attempt to soothe the tension. “She didn’t actually engage in any violence according to the story she told me. You should tell that to the school. I’m imagining that kid might have gone and made up his own story.”

“Noted, but her behavior at school is still worth examining.” Mom nodded but didn’t seem anywhere close to relenting. That prosecutor fight, Ryoko supposed. “Fights, failed scores, and searching for the first guy who’ll work for free. This is a serious issue, Ryoko, but if you can’t keep up academically at Sonobeno- we may have to transfer you.”

Transfer?! Wasn’t the original plan cram school?! Ryoko couldn’t leave Sonobeno. If Sara came back to Sonobeno, Ryoko wouldn’t be able to greet her. Sara needed her to look and to do that she needed to be teamed up with…

“Actually, Keiji has been helping me with my homework!” Ryoko dug in her back. “Right Keiji!”

“Oh… yeah.” Keiji rubbed his neck. “I don’t understand all the new methods, but I do the best I can to tutor the kid.”

Ryoko handed the worksheet to mom who looked at it quietly.

“Well. This is good work. But is he okay with it…?”

“I think it’s perfectly well and good.” Keiji shrugged- he looked at Ryoko like he wanted the signal to leave. Ryoko just waved him off. “So if you’ll excuse me I need to be off.”

“Well, it was a pleasant visit.” Mom waved him off with a pleasant smile. The two watched as Keiji walked out the door, and Ryoko was left alone with her mom.

“In case you couldn’t tell, you’re grounded.” Mom began “I ordered some takeout from that ramen place for dinner. Since I didn’t know when you were coming home, I ordered for you.” She commented, uncaring. She seemed rather annoyed that she had to, but Ryoko paid it no mind, already tired of this.

“Gee. Thanks.” Ryoko glared at her mother, now that the ex policeman was off.

The conversation was frigid. It was obvious there was no middle ground between them. Sighing, Ryoko’s mom hardened herself to speak her next words.

“Ryoko… it’s been 6 months.” Her mother said. “I think it’s time to focus your energy on studies.”

“Or I transfer?” Ryoko repeated, “Is that it? Forget about everything or you’re just going to take me away?”

“… Yes.” .Her mother sternly claimed “I can’t stand to see you throw out your future right now over your grief. I get it’s hard, but someday I promise you’ll be thanking me.”

“… Give me a break.” Ryoko stood up, stomping over to her room and busting out her phone to text Keiji’s number. She flopped on her bed, eyes skimming over and quickly forgetting about the posters and old interests that littered her room. Ryoko only had one focus, one target now.

Ryoko : Hey, you were saying that kid probably snitched on me. Prepare a date for those eggs.

Mr Ex Policeman: Aye aye captain. You will be staying home while I egg the assholes house. Capiche?

Oh he did not know her at all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ryoko had tracked down the name of that kid as ‘Shuichi Arisawa’ and showed up outside his house wearing an old Kabuki Mask she made once with Sara. 

“I figured you’d show up…” Keiji groaned, “You really need to stop-“

“Wait, wait hold up. That mask you’re wearing.” Ryoko put up her hands- pointing a finger of accusation. “Is that a ‘Claw Control’ Halloween Costume?”

“I was ten and my mom bought it.” Keiji argued; some sort of concise defense in his voice.“If it works it works, doesn’t it?”

“I can’t believe some ex cop in a claw control mask thinks he’s gonna egg the house of a guy for me when he doesn’t even know what he said.” Ryoko crossed her arms. “No way. Nuh uh.”

“Look… Kiddo- I’m…” Keiji rubbed his neck, in that avoidant way he always did. Ryoko knew his tactics. Avoid avoid avoid. Skate around the truth. Ignore the fact she was waiting on HIM to make a move.

But… he took the hand down. Looking straight into her eyes in a way that made Ryoko freeze. It felt… foreign to actually be looked in the eye by this guy. 

“I’m really… I’m really sorry. About everything. You really deserve better than what you have, and I don’t know how to make it better. I don’t even know if I can get Sara back. But I do know how to keep you safe and it’s not by tagging along to all my stunts. So please just… prioritize yourself, just this once.”

Ryoko flinched. It was the most honest display of emotion she’d ever gotten out of this guy. She was glad to be wearing a mask or he’d see her face twisting at what it was like to get a confession like that. From a stranger… was he really a stranger anymore? 

If so… why did everything about him feel surreal?

“This Shuichi guy… he was saying that I probably got rid of Joe and Sara.” She clenched her hands into fists. “That I was jealous, or something… so I confronted him and he punched me in the face. You want me to leave him alone?”

“… Well.” Keiji sighed. “I have a lot more motivation to egg his house now that you told me that. And you having a criminal record will probably give him more reason to convict you.”

Ugh… she hated how he was right about that last part. Though she did kind of like what he said. ‘Lot more motive’. It really was nice having an adult who cared. Someone who’d at least acknowledge they existed. Someone who knew they were important to her. 

Maybe she should give something in return.

“… Keiji.” 

“Hm?”

She… really didn’t want to say this. It was never gonna be true. But it was something. She could at least say this to the big guy.

“I… know Sara and Joe are probably not gonna come back. It’s fine. You don’t have to push yourself.” Ryoko turned around. That was a lie. It wasn’t fine at all. She wanted him to keep going but… “At the very least, I’m glad to have a good person who cares about them. Now I gotta get home. I’m grounded.”

Hopefully she wouldn’t get caught.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first day with Mr. Ex Policeman: Current High School Tutor Edition had Ryoko seeing the door open to a Keiji with even bigger eyebags than usual.

“Hey, Ryoko. What’s up kiddo?”

“Jesus, you look terrible.” Ryoko forced her way in “You can’t lecture me about prioritizing myself, and then turn around and not sleep for a week dude. Are you even in the right mindset to tutor me?”

“Hey, I can help all you need.”

“Good. Because History is such a pain! How much of what we learn in class was some kind of cover up, anyway? You ever think of that?”

“… Certainly worth examining.”

“Yes! Ugh!” Ryoko looked over at Keiji. He did not seem good. Actually somehow he seemed off, to her. “You uh… you okay dude?”

“… Ryoko. I think there’s something you should know about me.” Keiji leaned forward, folding his hands.  “I’ve killed two people.”

The sudden ginormous confession made Ryoko feel like she’d been turned upside down on one of those carnival rides they’d been on and all she could really think was… huh?! What sort of… thing was that to say to… anybody?! Why would he ever say that?! Why would he say that out of nowhere?

“That’s a… very funny joke…” Ryoko laughed awkwardly. “Unless it happened in the death game or something…?”

“… One was in the death game.” Keiji muttered. “The other was during my time on the force.”

Ryoko didn’t like this joke. Keiji had been… reliable. One of the few people she could trust after Joe and Sara disappeared. She didn’t need to hear this.

“The one on the force was someone dear to me. I was tricked into firing, and my boss covered it up. Then in the death game, I was given the option between saving that boss and leaving her to die. And I made my choice.”

Ah. He was serious. This was… terrible.

“… Does Sara know?” Ryoko whispered. 

Keiji nodded.

“Yes.”

“Okay.” Ryoko mumbled, averting her gaze with this news. “Let’s just… focus on my schoolwork for now.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ryoko didn’t think Keiji would hurt her. He would have done so if he wanted to already. But a murderer? You could argue an accident on the first one, but that was still an innocent person’s life! And he firmly stated he chose that second one. Wait, didn’t he say the first one was someone dear to him? 

Ryoko didn’t want to be thinking about this. She wanted to be hanging out with the weird stupid Keiji who said stuff like ‘golly gee’. Maybe that was a different version of him yesterday? Or maybe he just felt the need to fess up… 

Ryoko understood it (or at least she tried to rationalize it) as presenting her a choice. A choice of whether to keep speaking to him or not. But… she didn’t need a choice. She needed her one support in this world, goddamnit! Why would he do this after she tried to help him?!

She was… probably going to have to return to her roots on this one. Spying from afar. Go back to stalking Keiji’s house. Not a pretty idea but… something was better than nothing.

So she bought a convenience store egg sandwich. She took her binoculars. She went to Keiji’s house. It was like the old days, almost.

 Until she got to her spying spot and saw the window was broken.

“… Keiji?” That was probably worth spying on but it granted enough curiosity to have her knock on the door and find it was already open. Her heart sank. She felt a lump in her throat, pushing open the unlocked door. The lights were off.

There were knocked over tables, a stolen computer, a spilled glass on the rug, and thrown cushions. Ryoko understood what a struggle looked like. She stood in the dim light, her eyes widened with terror. Harsh reality was beginning to set in, paranoia, fear she thought would never have to experience again. To lose another that she finally…finally got back.

“No… no not again…” She felt tears grow in her eyes, and she sank towards the ground. They rolled down her face- she couldn’t repress it this time. “This can’t be happening again… Please, please, don’t take another one, I don’t want to go through this a second time…”

Asunaro took him. The computer was a sure sign. Ryoko was away from the house while Asunaro snatched up yet another person dear to her. Was that his fucking plan? Was this Keiji’s idea to ‘protect her’ as he said? She’d rather have died actually. She would have preferred that to going through this hell on a second occasion. She could feel that her face was wet, a horrible guttural yell escaping her throat as she sobbed. Endlessly, it felt like her world was turning, twisting and repeating again. Why was her life like this? Why was it happening again, again? Did she really deserve this? Ryoko grabbed at her hair, and the floor. It wouldn’t bring that stupid ex-policeman back.

She didn’t get an answer to her questions. She stayed in place, countless hours, as night fell and officers descended. Apparently… her mom was concerned as to why she wasn’t home, and filed a missing persons report.

Wasn’t that hilarious?

Chapter Text

Wake up. Get ready. Business.

Wake up. Get ready. Business.

Wake up. Get ready. Business.

Sara had gotten used to this steady stream.Her father had taken her to more and more events over time, and she was learning the ways of Asunaro. Coping. Doing things she hadn’t imagined. Smiling for her father.

So, today, she woke up and got ready. There was business to be done and according to dad today would be important- though he refused to state how. Tieing a purple scarf around her neck for an accessory, with matching gloves, she looked at herself in a mirror.

“Go on… smile for dad.” She told herself, fixing up the corners of her mouth. If she had to trudge through this, couldn’t she at least pretend? Couldn’t she do what she was supposed to? Sara needed to pretend that she wasn’t tired, exhausted of the repetitive and hellish loop.

“… You’re protecting people.” She reached out to the mirror almost as if to assure herself. As if she wasn’t already a monster. As if lives hadn’t been thoroughly ruined through simple waves of her hand. As if she hadn’t gotten as far as she had by stepping on corpses, even as a virtual figure. “So… be happy.”

Time was running down. She couldn’t keep at this forever. With a sigh, she turned and went to the desk where she had memorized the location of twice and over. Servants would whisper as she made her way through the hall, but she paid no mind- going to where she was meant to be and sitting down next to her ever ‘patient’ father.

“Heh. You look ready as ever, Sara.” He ruffled her hair. “You’ve grown up so much.”

“Have I?” She smiled softly, leaning in. “You did tell me it’s a big day. I wonder what it is.”

“Oh…” dad had a look of barely contained excitement that he hardly ever wore. “I think now’s the time you find out.”

She continued grinning as dad snapped his fingers, the door slamming open to…

What…?

“What…?” It felt like her heart stopped. She could feel and hear everything at once.

Why was he here…?

Why were his hands tied behind his back…? 

Why was his mouth covered…?

Why were two guards forcing him in and to the ground…?!

“Father! What is the meaning of this?!” Sara burst from her seat, heartbeat grinding in her ears. She could feel the sweat beginning to bead on her forehead, the composture she’d worked on unraveling as though a loose thread. “Keiji should be left alone! That was part of our deal!”

“Oh I know sweetie, but…” a harsh hand came back on her shoulder forcing her back into her seat. “He hasn’t honored the deal in the slightest. Showing his face to you, trying to take down Asunaro, giving information about what happened to bystanders… he’s become a veritable pain in the neck.” He then looked down at Sara with a knowing grin. “Then, of course, there was you defying my orders to talk to the AI.”

Sara felt herself grow ashen. No. Was she responsible for this? How could she let this happen after she swore to protect everyone? Was she just incompetent? This was her fault- it was her fault!

“I’m sorry! I was only curious why he knew Ryoko and wanted to ask him! It wasn’t supposed to be defying you!” The auburn-haired girl couldn’t help but fall into a panic. The violet of her eyes grew more nervous by the second. Regret, guilt- every emotion she’d repressed until now was falling upon her.

“Heh. Of course I know that. You’d never do that.” Her dad gave a smile, one that seemed more sinister than ever. “But… the questions you were asking him were a little…”

The real Keiji was making attempts to get up but was being held down. Sara’s eyes jumped over to the sight, scared to see Keiji Shinogi, somebody she always knew was strong- overpowered like it was nothing.

“Sara.” Her dad chided gently, “Eye contact.”

Sara shifted her gaze accordingly, despite the screaming voice in her head saying she didn’t want to. Her father took her hand and squeezed it, smiling at her warmly. As if her world, everything she’d worked for, wasn’t being shattered.

“Are you scared?”

Sara didn’t know what to say to that. She just nodded quietly.

“I know honey. It’s hard. But bear with me.” He told her, tightly gripping her hand again. Sara kept her focus on the hand. Only the hand. Just forget everything else and think that your dad is comforting you. Don’t let yourself think- don’t let your mind wander. You have to keep yourself steady, Sara…

“… I know you care about Keiji.” Dad affirmed. “Very much. You don’t want bad things to happen to him.”

Sara nodded again. He understood. He knew that much.

“Then, I’ll let you decide.”

“… Decide what?” She asked softly.

“What we do to him.” Dad continued to look at her with that upbeat look…as though nothing was wrong.

“Wh-what we do to-“ Sara felt queasy. Sara felt wrong. Sara felt every nerve screaming- she wanted to get out of here. “What do you mean?“

“We can’t let Keiji walk out without retribution for what he’s done. He’s made trouble for us. So decide on something for us.” Dad chuckled. “Of course don’t go too soft. He did make a lot of trouble. Do that, and I’ll just pick the punishment myself. But you were close… so you decide the blow.”

“I-I-I pick?” Sara stuttered out. She couldn’t comprehend this. “Like… putting him in prison or something?”

“Hm… that’s a soft one. Sorry. But since you made it up quick, I’ll let you off that time. Just remember. It needs to be a good one! Or else I pick.”

“I…” Sara looked over at Keiji. He’d been properly pinned now, an unreadable emotion in his eyes as he looked towards Sara. I hold his future in my hands… I can’t let him off but I can’t just say torture him! Dad’s ideas were no doubt far worse than anything she could conjure. She couldn’t hand control of the situation to him. She felt cold looking at someone who helped her through her worst moments and holding his life with no choice but to hurt him. She had to do something. Something dark. Something that dad would be pleased by. Something like the ways she’d been trained by.

“Sara? You’re taking quite a lot of time.” Her father chided, causing her to swallow her conviction. “If you don’t want to give it out I can just-“

“A yubitsume ritual!”  Sara shouted before he could say anything. “I… I want…”

What had she done? A yubitsume ritual… the cutting of fingers… she was going to… she just demanded that Keiji…

“Hm… and how much?” Her father asked. Sara freezed. There was more? She knew now that dad wouldn’t settle for one joint. She closed her eyes as she said the number.

“Three… three whole fingers…” that had to be enough. That would please him. She hated it, hated it, hated it but… the nightmare would be over.

“Hm…” Dad made a thoughtful noise. He was considering it. “Yes. That will do. I’m proud of you Sara.”

Sara wanted to disappear. All of this- and suddenly, her world was falling apart again. What…had she worked so hard for? The girl could feel her hardened gaze wavering, and everything she’d learned at Asunaro, her mind rejected it. She dissociated from it- she couldn’t stand to carry it any longer. So…with a heavy heart, she looks forward, into Keiji’s unreadable gaze.

“Well, we should untie Keiji so he can perform the ritual.” Dad grinned with no evident hesitation for the act they were committing.

“Sara, would you do the honors?”

Chapter Text

Keiji knew this sort of thing would be coming sooner or later. He knew Asunaro wouldn’t take his investigation lying down. It was all inevitable and he was fine with it. But this was wrong. This was disgusting. This was a perversion of the idea of just shooting him dead. Congratulations, Keiji Shinogi. You fucked it up again.

Not that he didn’t have his own barely unchecked rage to show for Sara’s bastard of a father. The satisfied smirk he showed when Sara ordered a punishment far worse than anything he could come up with through a simple game of pressure was enough to make him want to come over and strangle him, and sending her to untie him so he wouldn’t lash out was just fueling his anger all the more. The way he talked to his supposed daughter, scaring her into obedience… he hadn’t hated someone this much since Midori.

“I’m sorry.” Sara whispered once the ropes behind him were undone. “You shouldn’t be here.”

Keiji removed the stupid cloth gagging him, (maybe her dad wouldn’t like that, but ask him if he cared) hoping to find the words to say in this worst of situations. ‘It’s fine’ probably wouldn’t sound too genuine given the circumstances.

“… I’m just glad to see you one last time.” 

In the time it took for Sara to undo his ropes Meister got his goons to set up a table. Tatami knife, cloth, and a few bandages to treat the wounds. Keiji shuddered a little bit at how fast he was. Every bit of his demise was planned, it seemed.

“Well, Sara, since you ordered it you should sit across.” Meister said, a smug tone permeating his voice. He was proud of himself. “Go on.”

Keiji knew if he tried to strangle the bastard, he’d be back on the ground making things worse. Might as well give your usual shrug and go over to the table. Be passive in her suffering. That’s all you’re good for.

“Try and be quick.” Sara advised “It’ll hurt more if you take your time with it.”

Keiji hated how she sounded experienced in the process but just took the advice with a grin. He lined up three fingers on his left hand… pinky, ring finger, and middle finger… breathing deeply. This was gonna hurt no matter what he did. No matter what, he could still feel his heart beat. He couldn’t help…but be scared. Not only for himself, but for Sara.

“… I’m sorry.” Sara said again.

“… Not your fault.” Keiji looked down. As much as he wouldn’t like to, the idea of an imprecise cut was guiding him to at least look at the carnage as he sliced. The man had to bite down, hard- the taste of blood in his mouth. He tensed his entire body, trembling as he did. Keiji was in excruciating, searing pain. Evidently, he tried to limit his reaction- for Sara’s sake. The searing pain and horror of the fact he was severing parts of himself to be displayed in front of the young girl before him. Sara looked just as horrified as he was- god she looked terrible. Everything about her screamed that she was in an awful condition. 

This isn’t right.

“Y… you’re doing great…” Sara gulped. Probably not the best thing to say to a guy severing his own limbs, but he’d take what he could get. He was already covered in blood, bleeding onto the table, with no signs of stopping.

“Good. Now patch yourself up, and give them to the one who requested them.” Meister said.

Keiji didn’t think it was possible for Sara to become more pale than she already was but hoo boy was he wrong. She looked downright queasy, staring at the poor excuse of a father in horror.

“W-wait… can we skip the giving step…? I don’t even want them…” 

“Oh don’t be like that.” Meister chuckled darkly, “It’s an old tradition.”

Keiji wanted to spit. Best not to argue though. After patching up his wounds as best as he could with 3 bleeding out digits, he took the cloth and placed his three bloodied fingers, holding them out to Sara. The ex-policeman felt lightheaded. Keiji almost felt like his demeanor was too calm. Maybe…it was for the best. With all he’d experienced, and everything he’d gone through. Seeing the one girl he cared about- hell, tried to be a father for, suffer because of him…? That stung…it burned. It burned worse than any physical pain that could’ve been thrown at him.

“… I’m sorry.” He figured it was his turn to say it. “You… shouldn’t be going through this.”

Tears flooding her eyes, Sara took the bloody napkin. Now he’d done it. He really failed her, huh? A kid who thought the world of him- crying her eyes out because of his own actions. He truly was the worst of the worst. He could see the girl trembling, despite the dots in his vision. The way she was breaking apart. Having exactly what she tried to protect ripped away .

As soon as his fingers were in her hands, he was tackled to the ground again. Figures. Combined with the blood loss he was really blacking out here. Still, why…?

Why… in the last moments of consciousness did he see her run to that monster for comfort…?

Chapter Text

Keiji woke up again in a hospital bed. Despite the fact he wasn’t awoken to his chipped ceiling and empty apartment like he previously did, he had the oddest sense of deja vu for when he first woke up outside the death game's hellscape, feeling the same dread in his stomach and horrific terror at his own actions. But wouldn’t that be great? Just find out that everything he went through was a dream and none of the mistakes he made were permanent? Wouldn’t it be great if none of it was real?

A look at his hand told him he wasn’t so lucky. 

…Sara. The thoughts of that whole situation came crawling back, of the misery, the way she was devastated, the way her father gleefully used the both of them as puppets for a twisted show… when a voice cut through the silence-

“Keiji…” a familiar voice choked up next to him.The sound was enough to make Keiji freeze. He couldn’t do this to her either. “What happened…?”

He turned to the voice, trying to do his best to put on a lazy smile despite the obvious situation here.

“Hey mom. What’re you doing here?”

It was obvious by her teary face (and his own sentimentality) that he wouldn’t be able to play cool and collected for long. Just look at him. In a hospital bed, with missing digits, and probably having made the poor woman get the worst phone call of her life. He would be lucky if he had the heart to leave out what he last ate for breakfast.

“Your apartment was broken into. I only recently got a call that you were here.” His mother shook her head, speaking in a soft voice. “What has been happening…?”

The words I’ve been investigating a criminal organization and they abducted me sooooorta felt like a gut punch. What else could he say though? That he had some random guy attack for no reason? He sighed, doing his best to hide the mutilated appendage.

“Stuck my nose where it didn’t belong. Tried to help someone who was still stuck with the death game. Paid the price.” He said, “Guess I need a new place.”

“Sara, right…?” His mother mumbled, “Teenage girl…? Heiress of the company…?”

Yeouch. She picked up on that fast. Keiji didn’t really know where to start on the front of his relationship to Sara, or that she was the one who demanded the severed fingers.

“Heh… you remembered all that…?” He rubbed the back of his neck with the hand that still had all of its fingers.

“Well… partly.” His mom explained. “But part of the reason I even found out about this is because of that girl who tracked me down.”

Oh no… not again… she couldn’t still be involved… not after what he told her. Not after what they did to him. She needed to be as far away, in as normal a life as possible.

But Ryoko Hirose bursting through the door seemed to say otherwise.

“You… JERK!”

A concerned nurse was following after the girl, protesting to Ryoko that there was supposed to be one visitor at a time. Keiji cringed, knowing his conversation with mom wasn’t over, but wow did he need to talk to that kid considering… well. Just considering.

“I’ll come back when she’s done…” His mother sighed again. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

That’s a funny way to put it.

“Thanks.” He smiled, honoring his mom’s good intentions. “Let’s let the kid have her rant.”

Keiji’s mom walked out, and the nurse sighed in relief at only having one visitor in the room filing out in tandem. Now Keiji had to talk to the kid storming up to him. 

“Listen, Ryoko-“

He was cut off by a punch to the face. Well. Deserved. As he rubbed his face with two fingers, he looked up to see a fuming, teary Ryoko.

“How could you do this?” Ryoko asked him, clearly in a mixture of panic and relief. “My best friends were gone and you were all I had left. How could you chase me away and disappear off the face of the earth?”

All I had left… That's a bold thing to call him. He couldn’t think of himself being anyone's first choice for what kept them going. But wasn’t that why Meister had him bought in not just as his own punishment but for his daughter? Because they cared about each other more than he allowed? Oh god, Sara. What had he done? His little vanity project was just used as a way to destroy her emotionally.

“… I’m sorry.” He said to her in honesty. “I failed you.”

Not just her. He failed Sara. He was… admitting defeat. They were able to grab him, chop his fingers off and bring him back so easily. There was never any chance, and he knew it from the beginning. It was all just to ease his guilt and… he couldn’t keep doing this to her.

“No. Tell me why.” Ryoko’s hands were balled into fists. “Why’d you do it?”

She stood there. Anger and sadness, both endowed into one person. This was his fault. He had something Sara treasured. Something Sara would have wanted him to protect. He should have seen it right in front of his face but… he threw her out and nearly left her with nothing. Some protector he was.

“… Remember how I said that I was doing this investigation because of guilt?” Keiji leaned back. “I chased you off because of that too. You… started to accept things and I felt like I was becoming complacent… or replacing Sara. So, I thought if I told you the kind of guy I was, you’d hate me enough to leave, and I’d get back on track. Course, I wasn’t expecting to get captured after that… but that was my thought process.”

Ryoko sniffed, listening to the story with her head turned down.

“So those stories you told…” She wiped at her eyes. “They were true?” Crying. Deflated. The girl for once had no pep to her step. It’d faded again within moments. She knew the truth. She knew what she and Sara idolized was a false idea. The real Keiji Shinogi was a monster.

“Yep, true as can be.” Keiji partially wanted to ask the kid if she told his mom, but he figured it was best to keep his mouth shut. “… Real sorry I tricked you into calling me a good person. In reality, I’m pretty much a good for nothing guy.”

Ryoko stood there. Quietly taking in the atmosphere. Looking at the machines, the room, for words.

“… I don’t care about that.” She said.

“Huh?”

“I don’t care about that. Just tell me what happened?” Ryoko whispered, “While you were captured.” 

Keiji’s stomach dropped. The terrible scene. The horrific way that man talked to that girl’s best friend. He hated going back there. He couldn’t tell her-

“The truth this time.” Ryoko stated, with a solid gaze. “I want to know what’s happening.”

… Man. Life was cruel sometimes. Still, he knew he couldn’t drown in lies forever.

“… Sit down.” He said, “It’s tough to hear.”

Ryoko went to the closest seat, pulling it up to the hospital bed and looking down at Keiji.

“Please. I want to know what’s happening to my best friend.”

Keiji closed his eyes. Telling the truth… not sugarcoating it… he’d have to tell her everything. Nothing was going to be okay again.

“… I was brought in front of Sara and her dad. He told her to pick the punishment for me or he would. So she chose…” Keiji held his hand out for Ryoko to see.

“… No way.” Ryoko covered her mouth, eyes widened as black hair fell into her face. “She… she wouldn’t do that even to someone she hated.”

“She thought it’d be merciful compared to her fathers ideas for me.” Keiji sighed quietly. “I’m not mad at her. He wanted her to make up something terrible, and he did it by making her afraid.” 

Ryoko shook her head.

“Why… why would he do that…?”

Power. A sick game to show that he’s the one in control of her. That as long as he commands it she’ll do awful things to him, and he in the end is nothing but a stranger. He holds the keys to Sara and I can’t do anything about it.

“Because he’s an awful human being.” Keiji flatly stated, “And a poor excuse of a father.”

Ryoko shut her eyes, clearly trying to keep more tears from getting out as she nodded along to Keiji’s statement. This… this hurt. He hurt her just as much as Sara, he realized.

“Are you… going to keep investigating?” She asked softly.

Keiji remained silent. He didn’t know what to say.

There is no hope… if they could do this then what are my chances of bursting in and saving Sara?

“Yeah… I get it…” Ryoko answered quietly. “Like I said I knew for a while… Everyone kept telling me, and I figured once I saw Asunaro’s power, but… but…”

“… I’m really sorry.” He said “I wish I could’ve done more…”

Ryoko made several noises less attempts to communicate than they were unfiltered noise from a grieving girl. It didn’t take long until she was full on wailing, accepting her fate, that she’d never see her friend again. 

Keiji would never see Sara again. With that accepted, he actually felt tears of his own building up that he had to keep wiping away and fend off the shivering noises he was making along with Ryoko. 

“I’m sorry.” Keiji couldn’t help but apologize again. “It’s my fault.”

“… No it’s not, idiot.” Ryoko managed through her tears. “Stop that.”

Keiji did wake up in that hospital bed, similar to how he awoke from the death game. But this time he had a second chance with the kid he let down. This time he wouldn’t mess it up.

~~~~~~~~~~

Keiji hated having to move back into his mothers place. 

Don’t get him wrong, he loved his mom, she was probably one of the best things left in his life, but his family had never been the richest one, and putting himself back in that house after his dream job failed spectacularly was never the plan. The last thing he needed was to be a burden to her too.

Still, she insisted he come home and why wouldn’t she at this point? He was stewing in depression at his old place and had now gone through a death game and gotten his fingers chopped off by a yakuza. He was lucky she didn’t fit him with a tracking device or something.

Still, Keiji needed to do something for her, and that’s how Mr. Ex Policeman’s tutoring service opened up. Some of his clients likened him more as a babysitter than a tutor, constantly keeping a myriad of troublemakers out of it, which was a fine enough thing to add to his resume along with his hours worked at the store.

“Any career goals you’re considering, kiddo?” He asked Ryoko one day while she packed up her work.

“Hm… I was thinking, maybe an animator.” Ryoko said.

“Animator.” He repeated. He did see some drawings in the margins of her work. “Any reason?”

“Because then I would be able to tell stories.” Ryoko said solemnly. “I mean my life is already stranger than fiction, so…”

“… I’ll be the first to watch you.” Keiji affirmed.

His hallucinations taunted him that night. Whispering about his failures and how he couldn’t make a happy ending. Of course he couldn’t. He ruined everything. He was a murderer of a kind father. He destroyed the life of Sara Chidouin and was sitting idly by while each and every day, she went through god knows what. Sitting there like nothing was wrong.

Still, he couldn’t just not attend Ryoko’s graduation, right?

He didn’t really catch Ryoko’s mom in the crowd, so maybe she came, maybe she didn’t, he wasn’t gonna ask the kid that, but the hug Ryoko gave him after she came down with her diploma- albeit undeserved- was pretty heartwarming.

“So, you’re gonna be a college kid soon.” Keiji said. “Ready to animate?”

“Yeah… although just so you know, the place I’m looking to study is in Tokyo.” Ryoko admitted. “I’m probably not gonna see you for a while with how busy I’m gonna be.”

“… Ah.” Keiji shrugged. “Well hey. Good luck out there. And remember, cops are legally allowed to lie to you.”

Ryoko gave a thumbs up.

“I’m gonna miss you Mr. Ex Policeman.”

“… Yeah. I’m gonna miss you too.”

To call himself paranoid was the understatement of the century. Especially with the ‘ice cream trucks’ that liked to pass by his place from time to time, and that he was already periodically getting calls from Ryoko about people following her on the street, at which point he’d always rush to wherever she was as fast as humanly possible to help her lose the creep. The fact she was gonna be alone in a city as big as Tokyo was…

“What if someone kills her?” The Sara sitting at the foot of his bed asked “What if they place her where nobody finds her? What if they don’t have to because the cops are corrupt?”

“Guess that’s just a side effect of working with you, Shinogi… I mean look what I got for encouraging you.”

“Keiji?” His mom opened the door “I’d like to talk.”

And so, Keiji sat opposite to his mom at the table.

“… How’re the fingers?”

“They’ve been better.” He mused quietly. “I used to have ten of them.”

“Yes…” her eyes shifted unbearably uncomfortable. Keiji bit his lip. He should’ve known that was rocky ground. 

“… My business is helping out, right?” He asked. Despite the dodging of the question he meant that. He wanted things to be better around here.

“Yes but… about the… surveillance.”

“Is it scaring you?” Keiji asked. “I’ll move out immediately if it does. It’s me they’re after, not you.”

“No, don’t do that. Absolutely not.” His mother shook her head. “But… Do you know where it goes?”

“Most likely Asunaro. As I said before, I got in trouble with the boss so…”

“… Do you think this Sara girl has a hand in it?” Mom asked.

“Sara?” Keiji looked at his left hand. “No. She wouldn’t.”

“… Well… she did…” His mom’s quickly glanced at his hand.

“… I know but… she didn’t want to…” Keiji defended.

“Maybe she didn’t want this either? I don’t know… I’m sorry. I’m just concerned.” His mother continued, “I know you and Ryoko speak highly of that girl, but… The fact she…”

Keiji looked back at his hand. Sighed. Mom had every right. Just look at him and what trying to help Sara got him. But…

“I get what you’re saying mom, but I know her personally and… she’s just a scared kid.”

Mom nodded quietly.

“Okay.”

~~~~~~~~~

On the anniversary of the death game, Ryoko sent Keiji a compilation of photos of Sara and Joe. 

Ryoko: This was the day they disappeared...

Ryoko: I thought I’d never even know what happened

Ryoko: thank you

Mr Ex Policeman: It was really nothing. Thank you for making this.

~~~~~~~

The next year Ryoko made another compilation.

And the next year.

…And her senior year.

The next year she was home- and her and Keiji were celebrating together. Maybe celebrating was the wrong word. Mourning. That was it. With everything they went through… everything Keiji had finally gotten the guts to tell Ryoko about over the years… the anniversary death game was a time where you screamed from the depths of your soul.

“Me and my girlfriend from college are working on a project with some other people. I was thinking you could voice a character.”

“Oh, really?” Keiji asked. “Who am I voicing?”

“The asshole cop.”

“Ah.” Keiji sat back. “Will do.”

Ryoko and her girlfriend did break up during the process of the animation, but it seemed like they stayed on good terms. In general it seemed like Ryoko went through boyfriends and girlfriends like wet tissue paper. 

Guess she never got over her first love…

Still things were… nice. Keiji had found himself settling in a sense. Oh the hallucinations were still horrible as ever, and every day his past haunted him, but seeing himself create a better future for someone made him feel… less like a horrible person. After ten years, he sort of felt like he accomplished something that made his life worth living. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Ryoko: Hey I’ve noticed less Asunaro surveillance. Have you?

Chapter Text

Shin knew that the flower in his room couldn’t live forever.

He had prepared himself for the worst emotions when he saw the petals starting to rot. A full on breakdown, the worst of everything he felt in the death game coming back to haunt him. All the anger and grief and bitterness resurfacing to remind him what he had lost and failed once again.

And yet, he only felt quiet acceptance this time. After all, it wasn’t truly her. Kanna was already dead, and this was nothing but a symbol. Not the real thing. He couldn’t even deceive himself that much. He couldn’t grieve a plant. Not when there was a real human girl already on his concious.

Someday, he’d visit the Kizuchi’s.

Though, for now, he was searching up scented candles. A lavender scent for a kind teacher who guided his students to the best of his ability. Lemongrass flavor for the best friend of a girl lost to them, a scent that usually made you feel at home. Fresh baked brownies for a supposed homemaker who loved the craft of cooking. A striped peppermint for a man in a prison uniform and wouldn’t shut up about his love for stripes. Rosemary for a rockstar who lost her brother then her life but was filled with plenty of passion and spice. Lemon lime for a man clad in outlandish colors from yellow to green. And rose, for a young girl whose stench of blood overpowered the smell of roses growing out of her body.

Ordering all these was cutting into his profits a lot but thankfully he’d been saving for the big day. Coming to Gin’s house with arms full of them made the boy nod solemnly in realization of what it meant.

“Mom was worried today, meow.” He muttered. “She was worried I’d get kidnapped again, woof.”

“… Me and Miss Sara aren’t gonna let that happen.” Shin told him. Gin nodded and showed him a strawberry shortcake in a tin.

“I got this for her, meow. She’s not dead but she deserves to be respected, woof.” 

Shin gave a curt nod, as he set up and lit each candle, Gin placing his cake in front of them. Shin couldn’t even get on his knees and ask for most of these people’s forgiveness, but…

“Thank you loner, meow.” Gin hugged him. “For being here.”

“… Yeah.”

~~~~~~~~~~

It was odd watching Gin grow up through the years. 

The child he knew from the death game slowly outpaced him in terms of height, to the point that at their yearly ceremonies for the victims he felt like he was sitting next to a giant, and sometimes he had to ask himself…

Would Kanna have done the same if she…

He’d spent nights pacing around. Dialing the Kizuchi’s number but not daring to press the call button. How could he even begin? Or excuse the fact that he left them hanging on the fact their children were dead for years and he was a biological brother?

He was better staying out of their lives, correct? Just go, run, but at the same time the dial button taunted him to press it so many times. Have at least some better closure than a plant.

Though then again, how could he have closure? He was still wearing that damned scarf.

He put the phone down.

~~~~~~~~~

It was funny in a way how Nana still wanted a babysitter for Gin at the age he was.

Though less funny considering the circumstances surrounding it. Shin felt more like a family friend than a babysitter. Someone who was there to calm her ever growing nerves around the horrifying things that happened to her child.

“… Gin’s graduating soon.” He mentioned over a cup of milk tea. “Any updates on his future?”

“He says he’s going to be an animal shelter worker.” Nana answered, a soft smile. “Your coworker is helping him get an apartment close to home.”

“Heh, yeah.” Shin chuckled. “Good ol’ Hikaru…”

“… I’m also filing for divorce.” Nana said, putting her cup of coffee down.

“Oh…” Shin had sensed growing tension for a long time on that subject whenever it was brought up- but to have that bomb dropped so suddenly… “Does Gin know?”

“Yes. His exact words were ‘about time you divorced that asshole, meow.’”

“Yeah… that sounds like Gin.” Shin was never gonna get over the first time he heard that kid swear at him. “So, why did you decide…”

“… I was thinking of doing it for a while.” Nana sighed, “But being a single mother is hard. It has a label attached. And when you have a kid who was kidnapped and put in a death game under your watch, it gets people talking. I wanted to wait it out.”

What a… sad reason to wait that long. Shin nodded his head in sympathy. Maybe this was prying, but…

“You felt guilty a lot of the time you lashed out at him.” He finally brought up. “What made you decide this?”

Nana stared into her coffee quietly. Shin thought he could see a mix of many things in her eyes. Fury, self hatred, guilt, and anger, but she looked up at him with a shrug.

“We just had no spark left is all.”

Ah. Well, fine. Shin wouldn’t expect her to spill such personal details. He just sipped his milk tea, glad it wasn’t upsetting his stomach.

“Good for you.”

“… I wonder if I made a mistake not doing it sooner.” She admitted, averting her gaze. “Gin… he really didn’t have a good childhood, did he?”

A childhood with an alcoholic father, Hiyori as your therapist, and dropped in a death game with only the worst person there left to comfort you. No, that wasn’t a good childhood in retrospect. Shin figured the only thing worse would be dying tragically young by the vote of someone you trusted.

“You did your best.” He tried to assure. “And that’s what matters.”

“… If only.” Nana smiled, a melancholic weight in the air.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hikaru and Shin sometimes visited Gin’s animal shelter after they finished up their shifts. The absolute funniest part of the affair were the customers who thought Gin’s meows and woofs were some sort of customer mandate, and not part of the Gin Ibushi experience.

“Ugh, stupid dog… Leave my scarf alone.” Shin reprimanded one particularly large Fido who really loved chewing on the thing.

“You’ve worn that scarf since the day I met you.” Hikaru said, pushing up his glasses. “You need to get a new one.”

“Go to hell.” 

“I second Magicians comment, woof!” Gin added with a smirk. 

“I didn’t ask for your input.” Shin argued.

“No but seriously, that scarf looks like it’s seen hell.” Hikaru pointed to Shin’s neck. Shin just desperately tried to avoid all the weather damage, machine wash wear, loose threads, and now bite marks. “I’ll take you shopping for a new one, if bundling up is that important.”

“This one has…” sentimental value seemed like the wrong phrase, but outlining that the guy who collected his information to murder him wore this scarf might just get this thing torn off and burned. Not that that wouldn’t be welcoming. “Look, just back off!” 

Hikaru put his hands up in defeat but Gin had the intense stare of someone who was curious what you were hiding. Ah crap.

He tried to finish up and get out as best as he could, but unfortunately the one thing the kid never lost as he grew up was persistence.

“Loner.”

“… Yes, Gin?” He turned to him, with a frustrated and exasperated sigh.

“… You’ve got friends other than seaweed head now, right, meow?” He asked. “Burn the scarf, woof.”

“… I’ll keep it in mind.”

The next day he had work. Somehow the flower shop had been a stable job over the years. It was quite amazing how he didn’t lose his mind working there. Maybe he was just numb. Or evil.

Or maybe he’d embraced not caring.

He looked at the scarf as he was about to throw it on. It really did look awful after all these years. Hiyori was stinking rich, and this was clearly a nice scarf, but even the nicest products weren’t immune to damage if you wore them every day of your life. Why cling to something so broken? So outdated? He had so many better things offered to him now. Why did he need this scarf?

He hung up the scarf in his closet. Still an option if he really needed it.

“Oi.” Hikaru smiled when he came in. “Did hell freeze over?”

“If it did, I can think of some people I want to be frozen as shit.” Shin muttered.

“Ah…” Hikaru leaned back, “Nope, still the same.”

Chapter Text

When Gin pictured himself growing older in the midst of the death game he pictured doing so with Big Sis Sara. Big Sis Sara would laugh as he grew up the same height as her, telling him he was growing up just like she’d guessed when she called him a brave kid back in the main hall. His big sis would be going on adventures and he’d keep up not far behind. And Mr. Policeman and Mr. Qtaro would be there too, saying something pretty lame, but they’d be there to tell Gin that he grew up way faster than he expected. In your face. Then Gin would hug them all. 

That didn’t happen, though.

When Gin grew older, it was with Loner by his side, still being called his ‘babysitter’ and one day he looked at him and said…

“Wow… you are… taller than me now.” He groaned. “Of course you are.”

Gin grew up with mom still holding him tight, never letting him be alone. As he got older he could see why she wouldn’t. After all, the last time he was left alone in his memories was when he was kidnapped. But maybe it felt a little strangling when he saw groups of people his age hanging out on their own in places where he had to be chaperoned by the Loner.

He did make it through high school with an amicable friend group. They didn’t know anything about death games, and liked to make fun of the loner just as much as he did. He probably shouldn’t be talking about that stuff anyways. Asunaro paid the loner and his mom to shut up, and they’d hurt them if he didn’t. They’d hurt mom.

I dedicate myself to Asunaro in exchange for my wish.

Gin also sometimes was babysat by Loners coworker, Magician. He tended to have a bunch of new girlfriends all the time and one or two boyfriends. When Gin asked why he had so little boyfriends in comparison he said:

“Well you’ll find a lot of girls willing to admit they’ll date a guy, but not a lot of guys will admit to that.”

Gin then graduated and got his starter apartment. He didn’t bother with college. All his future ventures would, in the end, be influenced somewhat by Asunaro. They’d slip in something, some pill dissolved in water for his future, like they’d done for his entire life before then. The last thing he needed was being educated by an Asunaro brainwashing facility. So he found a good apartment with the help of Magician, and a job at a local shelter.

“You know, Gin…” Loner said as he was unpacking boxes. “Since I went your entire childhood without dating your mom, can you please drop that stupid notion?” 

“Sorry meow! I’m committed to the bit now, woof!”

“… Well it’s a step above actually believing it .” He sighed, taking out…

Out…

“Hey these are drawings from back when you were a kid right?” He looked back nostalgically, “Brings back memories-“

“Hey, hey, wait-“

It was too late. Loner saw the picture of himself with a much younger Gin on his shoulders.

“Ah…” Loner had a fond look. “Gee… I didn’t realize…”

“Well, it’s pretty unrealistic, meow.” Gin murmured. “Your shoulders would give out within seconds. Woof.”

“… I hate that you’re right.” Loner put it aside. “… Gin?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

“What are you thanking me for, meow?”

“… The death game sucked.”

It’s a curt statement but one Gin can’t argue with. If there was no death game, no Asunaro, his life would be normal. He’d have never had to worry about what would happen to his mom, he’d never have her worrying about him and making sure he was watched. He’d go to college. He’d trust therapists. He’d never have met Big Sis Sara. But then he wouldn’t have been so sad thinking about where she was now.

“Yeah. I wish it never happened, woof.”

“Agreed… but I think if one good thing came out of it, it was getting to be your babysitter. Of every tragedy we had to endure, at least I was able to help you.” He had a look on this face that he didn’t see often. Gin looked to the side, briefly.

“Loner…” it was so rare to hear him speak from the heart about him. It… was a returned sentiment. Even though everything was awful, and the death game ruined everything, and he wished it was Mr. Policeman, the Loner had made it so much easier to cope. He’d been his shoulder to cry on, even when the subject hurt him. He was willing to take blame that wasn’t his. He did in a way hold Gin up on his shoulders to show him a better world. “That was sappy, meow.”

“I know, I know.” He sighed, turning away with a huff. “But still-“

Gin hugged him.

“You’re the best. Woof.”

He couldn’t see Loners face but he could swear he could hear him smiling. Turquoise eyes looked off, behind Gin’s shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah… c’mon. Let’s unpack.”

Chapter Text

Sara only had her fathers shoulder to cry on after Keiji was carried away, passed out after the punishment she inflicted on him.

“It’s my fault!” She sobbed. Because she didn’t stick to what dad told her. Because she wasn’t good enough. Because she went back on her deal. She couldn’t protect him and now she did something she couldn’t take back. “He… he must hate me now…”

It was irrational to vent to him, but she has no other option. It was dad or loneliness. Dad knew everything, or he left her in the dust or did something worse. It was better to have a moment of comfort, no matter how temporary than to risk anything else.

“There, there… no tears. Your dad’s gotcha.” Dad said warmly. “You don’t need him. You’re gonna do bigger and better things.”

Bigger and better… She knew what that meant. Sobbing into fathers shoulder for her future, she heard another shush.

“Sara… no more tears. Didn’t I say that?” She felt him pulling away… no… “Do you need to go take a rest? I know it was a long day.”

Resting meant an isolation period. Sara couldn’t be isolated after what just happened. She just couldn’t. She swallowed her tears, choking back the crippling despair she felt at the pain she inflicted, on somebody she loved no less- someone connected to Ryoko, what would Ryoko think- no. Just…

“There… that’s better.” Her dad wrapped her in another hug. “That’s my Sara.”

“I’m sorry.” She whispered to him.

“Heh… it’s fine.” He assured her. “You did everything perfectly. Now let’s get back to work.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sara on her 19th birthday, before the celebration, was assigned to work with a woman named…

“Asuka Shinonome?!” She shouted out, looking at the file in surprise. “The same one?!”

“Oh, you recognize her? It was such a long time ago.” Dad laughed. “But yes. She’s been incorporated into Asunaro quite smoothly since our meeting with her. We’re glad to have her aboard. I told you didn’t I? Your little interruption didn’t hurt anything.”

Sara gulped, clutching Asuka’s file close. Couldn’t do a thing.

“It’s just making sure someone doesn’t get out of line. And I’m giving you…”

She knew what was in the box that was being passed to her. She took it without opening it, smiling in her usual way.

“It’s an honor.”

“Yep. Let’s go.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

Asuka didn’t really look at Sara much when she was dropped off at a donut shop. The eyebags seemed a lot deeper and her eyes darker since Sara saw her. Like that clock she’d been running on had run out. Finally gave up. The words I’m sorry… I wish I did more… rested on her tongue but… she knew she had no right to say that.

“… Asuka Shinonome.” She tried to keep her voice from shaking as he approached a woman who was her victim in everything but name. “I’m Sara Chidouin, the heiress. You may recognize me?”

Asuka looked over, quietly looking Sara up and down.

“Yeah. You’ve got one hell of an aim.”

Sara bristled at the memory. The loud bang, the stench of fresh blood, the pounding in her ears, it was all coming back back back…

“… sorry. Poor taste.” Asuka held out a hand. Sara was snapped out of her flashback. “Thanks again for that. I don’t know why you did it, but it helped.”

“… I could’ve done more.” Sara took the hand and shook.

“Yeah well…” Asuka shrugged, “Naive as you are… I’m a little jealous.”

Sara would make the meeting go off without a hitch. She had the public speaking skills to get what she (dad) wanted with little effort and hopefully nobody would get shot.

“These mass produced doll limbs are becoming impossible to afford!” The woman banged her fist on the table. “If it keeps at this rate we gotta cut wages!”

“Oh…” Sara suddenly had a good feeling why dad assigned her to this of all things “Well, perhaps you could use cheaper materials than the death game dolls for the prosthetics? The ones there are a lot more lifelike, but these just need to function.”

“So we just make an entirely new model? We’re manufacturers, not inventors!” 

“Right, right, right…” Sara bit her thumb. This was not going to end in ‘give up on doll prosthetics that could save lives.’ She needed something good.

“Why are you agreeing with me?!”

“I-I-I just was going over stuff in my head!”

“She’s inexperienced.” Asuka shrugged, “Lay off.”

Sara felt her cheeks grow hot at being called ‘inexperienced.’ She knew plenty.

“Man, why'd The Godfather send his brat after us? This is sad.”

“‘The Godfather’ would be a lot less patient than I am.” Sara snapped. “So be grateful.”

The motion Asuka made and Sara’s instantaneous regret at that comment made her realize it was probably not a good move to say it.

“Did you just threaten me kid?!”

“N-no! Not at all!” She put up her hands, dropping the box- no- the box- the gun- they saw- they saw it- the look in his eyes… 

Sara didn’t remember much after that. Flashes of Asuka being grabbed, because of course the lower grunt was more at risk than the heiress. Inability to let one person she helped go.

However it went, Sara walked out covered in blood while Asuka was still pristine.

“… I’m supposed to walk you to your next job.” She said, “Then we part ways.”

For her birthday party her dad got her a new gun. He told her she’d be using it a lot more than the old one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sara on her 20th birthday was allowed to celebrate with her dad with her first drink. She didn’t really know what kind it was. She didn’t bother asking, too transfixed on one of dads… keepsakes that he kept around his office. Three fingers, preserved in a jar, like a hard won trophy.

She gulped down the wine once it was poured, and accidentally let it spill just how she felt about one of their business partners once the conversation turned to him. That’s probably why she saw herself being forced to interact with him more the following year.

~~~~~~~~~~

Sara, on her 21st birthday, said she wondered if the survivors or Ryoko remembered if it was her birthday. Dad told her they’d moved on by now. Besides, why would Keiji and Ryoko want her in their lives after what she’d done?

~~~~~~~~~~~

Sara, on her 22nd birthday had a big celebration party. Bigger than her first year post death game. Dad reminded her fifty times during it that the survivors, like Sou or Keiji, would never bother with something to this scale. Having it be a huge party with sniveling businessmen was also less exciting than last time. At least nobody was there to listen to her complain about them this time. 

Sometimes it was better to be alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Sara, on her 23rd birthday, laid in bed with high fever. She was so ashamed. She couldn’t even hold up enough to be healthy on her birthday . At least her dad was at her side through all of it. She grasped his hand for dear life through suffocating heat, hating her own weakness.

The worst part was pantomimes of memories coming back in her state, dreams of worse days.

“You damn murderer…”

“Stop…”

“Does even your best friend mean nothing?”

“Ah…”

“Sara…”

She looked over. Right. She remembered somebody comforting her during this.

“Kei…ji…”

Evidently the wrong thing to say. Her dad’s face scrunched up like he smelt something foul, feeling her head for her temperature.

“Keiji isn’t here. I’m your father.”

“No…” she started to tear up “I want Keiji back… I want Kanna and Qtaro… I want Reko and Alice… I want Nao and Mishima and Gin…”

She knew she was being childish but her feverish brain was crying out to say those things, and it wasn’t like her nose was getting less runny. The last thing she remembered on that day was her dad asking the next person who came by the room for sedatives to calm her down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sara, on her 24th birthday, signed yet another contract. Yes, she knew people would die if she went along with this venture, but… so what? She had destroyed so many innocent lives- this was just drops in the bucket. Dad was as proud as ever, telling her once again how hard it must be. She accepted it. She’d get her damn birthday celebration after this. Just like the awful human being she was. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sara, on her 25th birthday, watched the simulations. Probably an unhealthy activity but she just had to see them. She was desensitized anyways. Might as well watch herself as she clawed. Killed. Schemed. Died.

I wonder what would happen if I died in the death game… she thought to herself It’d spare the world a lot of suffering.

She had looked comprehensively out the window in her room before. The building they were in was in a public space, already a pretty ugly way to go. She sometimes wonders if the people walking around would save her if she asked… but it’s not like she could take their offer without endangering those she already hurt. She couldn’t die for that reason either. Dying meant going back on the deal. She’d make sure she’d live before letting that day happen again.

The her in the simulations agreed that living was the right answer, too. Sara watched her use people like Ranmaru, then toss him away. A tear in her eye, but no more. She watched herself strangling the life out of people for intimidation. She saw herself outwitting Keiji, and getting him voted over and over again. With the variety of executions presented, she kept holding her breath for the one that’d show his fingers getting cut off. 

Even though he kept all his fingers he truly did look like he hated her in his final moments.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dad was on another one of his business trips. That was all that was happening. Sara held herself tight proclaiming that dad was coming back, and he still loved her, and she’d be in his arms, glad to have him back (and regretting every bad thought she’d had about him).

Unfortunately that wasn’t the case (well aside from the last part.)

“There was a shootout.” The messenger said quietly. “Your father…”

Sara felt a sick feeling. She knew what was going to finish the sentence. An absolutely unacceptable thing to end with. Her father was… flawed. He was stubborn, set in his ways, and sometimes she hated his ways of persuasion, but he was her father. Although not biological, she understood every bit of his love for her was like that of true family. Her father was the best thing she had left in life. She needed to hear a different word from what this man was about to deliver. So she stared directly awaiting what he had to say.

“… your father died.”

To just say that… like that could possibly be reality…

“No…” Sara shook her head, denial rising. “No he didn’t.”

“Ms. Sara.”

He was trying to calm her. Like this person had ever had a single meaningful conversation with her. Sara wouldn’t have it.

“My dad didn’t die!” She screamed pulling at her own hair. “He’s coming home! Because he loves me! And he wouldn’t leave me like this!”

“Ms. Sara… this is probably a shock…”

“MY DAD ISN’T DEAD!” She fell to her knees breaking into her hands. “He’s not he’s not he’s not he’s not he’s-“

On Sara’s 26th birthday she was arranging a funeral.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sara slowly adjusted to her new seat as CEO. Running things in honor of her late father. She did her best not to change too much of the way the company was run. She knew he wouldn’t be happy with her doing so. She knew… she knew he was watching her. He always was in life and would be in the afterlife. All she lived for was him.

At the funeral she gave no speech. She had nothing to say to the crowd of urchins who came to see her father. Her feelings were in a note put in his coffin. Though despite her entering her grateful words privately, there were evidently some people nearby who didn’t keep their thoughts private.

“It’s weird for him to just die in a shootout… You think he just… decided…”

“Eh? Why’d he do that?”

“Maybe he was trying to trigger something…? I don’t know…”

“You’ll stop what you’re saying right now.” Sara demanded of the two gossipers. “My father isn’t the type to drop everything and die.”

“Ah! Ms. Sara!” They were evidently squirming at being caught. “We mean no harm…”

“Good.” She turned back to her father. “Then leave me alone with him.”

They did so immediately. After all, she was feared.

Despite having fathers ghost watching over her, she didn’t make as many… harsh decisions. She didn’t have the same threats hanging over her if she chose ‘wrong’ so she did sometimes indulge herself in sometimes making the choices that ‘good people’ would make, even if she would see suffering to Asunaro itself because of it. She hated ruining the company, the thing her father left to her. But little things once in a while couldn’t hurt right?

It felt especially good to take surveillance off of the survivors and Ryoko. No more worrying about their safety. Gin’s mom would be a lot more peaceful. Though, it’s then that she received a mysterious letter with the return address attached.

Her first thought was that there could be a bomb attached to this. Her second thought was that she was really curious why she was getting sent this, so with a careful application of a letter opener, she took out a note gasping at the opening line.

Heya Ms. Prospective fashion designer

She clutched the note close. Would she get in trouble if she was caught with this? Surely not… She was in charge now… but…

She snuck back to her room. Why was Keiji contacting her? Was he in trouble? Did he need Asunaro’s resources? Was he telling her how angry he was for that incident 10 years ago? 

Tentative shaking gloved hands took out the note reading the words with preparation for the worse.

I found out you got a promotion… CEO… It’s probably rough. I haven’t seen you since our fiasco. I know you probably don’t wanna see me after everything you’ve been through but I wanna chat.

Sara read the note five times probably. Keiji wanted to see her? Was she going mad? He hated her didn’t he? Well, come to think of it, she’d mostly just said that herself and dad agreed… but why wouldn’t he hate her? She was the CEO of Asunaro and she chopped his finger off! It made no sense!

Though that probably wasn’t her biggest problem. Keiji was allowed to feel however he wanted about her. She just didn’t know if it’d be possible to get in contact. Seeing how she lifted surveillance with ease she could do the same for talking right? Maybe? This… might be a matter to keep private. Or, not do at all. Maybe she should ignore this. Forget she saw it.

But… she didn’t want that.

She did have a phone now that dad was out of the picture. It helped her make company calls and was a lot more convenient. She also unfortunately knew Keiji’s private data enough to be able to send a text.

Shaky hands dialed in Keiji’s number and a message before stopping on the send button. Did she…. Want this?

….…

… Yes.

SC: I’ll meet up with you. Give a date and time and somewhere we can’t be noticed. I don’t want to be caught.

Chapter Text

SC: I’ll meet up with you. Give a date and time and somewhere we can’t be noticed. I don’t want to be caught.

Keiji’s breath caught in his throat when he saw that message.

This was… a possible trap.

Looking back into Asunaro when he realized surveillance had ceased and finding on their website Sara was cleanly listed as CEO was a possible trap.

Sending that message to the same building he’d been taken to be mutilated, going in the dark of night to that same place and using old detective instincts that he looked back on with shame to the time he used them, to sneak around and place it in the mail supply, after he suffered nightmares, waking up amongst a cold sweat; unable to leave the teenage girl who’d once given away her life for his ten years ago…it was a possible trap.

Responding to this text from a number he didn’t even know was Sara, and going to a secluded location was a possible trap. Another thing that could go wrong and lead to everyone getting hurt.

He couldn’t do that to mom again… or Ryoko. Should he ask Ryoko if this was a good idea? How would she even react? What would Ryoko do if he disappeared again, huh? Could he take her? No, if it was a trap- she’d be in danger with him. 

After all this time… he was closer to contacting Sara than ever, but… that just meant more danger than ever. More chances of hurting everyone again than ever. As he stewed in his doubt, he noticed a girl in the corner.

“Why are you leaving me again...?”

I’m not leaving anyone… I’m just… trying to make sure this is a good venture.

He… needed to sleep on this maybe.

When he slept he had another nightmare.

He was underwater. Somehow, he could breathe. Though, usually he found he had a way of surviving these situations… so it wasn’t really a surprising thing that he was breathing underwater. 

Though, he was presented with the vision of the girl still in her blue and pink uniform sinking to the bottom… that worried him. He made a desperate attempt- swimming to get over to her. His arms reached out, as he grasped through the current that tried to defy him. After all, he knew she couldn’t swim.

But… still. As he swam the scenery changed. The liquid warped around him; and thewater seemed to grow more shallow. The colors would melt into one another, the clear ocean blue dripping and pooling into a muddled crimson. As he approached, and fought through the waves that pushed against him, the girl was warped by the murky ink in which surrounded her. More people had been in the abyss, judging him, no, they…