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“I don’t know if I’ve ever brought this up before, love, but…do you want children?” Agnes tentatively asked while walking with Estinien through a botanical garden in Kugane.
Do I want children?! “Why? Do you?”
Agnes wrinkled her nose and sighed. “I asked you first.”
“I…suppose? Honestly I never gave it much thought.” Until right now. “Never thought I’d live long enough to consider the question.”
“Nevermind then.” Agnes said in a tone Estinien registered as disappointment. Damnit.
“Why, do you want children?” He squeezed her hand.
“I-I do. I’ve always wanted to be a mum. I love children. And I’d like to have a large family.”
“How large might this family of ours be, Agi?” Estinien laughed softly, guiding her to a bench by a koi pond.
Agnes blushed. “Well, I’m not sure. Maybe five? Or six? Or more? Or less?” She and Estinien sat on the stone bench, and Agnes stared at her hands in her lap. “But if you don’t want any—”
“Sweetheart, don’t put words in my mouth. I didn’t say that. I said I hadn’t thought of it. That’s all. And if you want children, I’m happy to give them to you.”
But that did not make Agnes pleased, to Estinien’s shock. “That’s not how having children works!” She practically shrieked. “It’s about making a choice together, as a couple, to grow their family and love and commitment and shit! Not ‘well, Agi, I’m going to fuck you now because you want children.’ That’s not how this works!”
Estinien’s mouth dropped. What on earth has gotten into her? Why is she so upset? “Agi—”
“Forget I said anything. Let’s just enjoy the day. Please. I only have a few more days of respite here with you before rendezvousing with Alphinaud back in Ala Mhigo.” Agnes pleaded. “Please?”
“Hmph. Fine.” Estinien grumbled, putting an arm around her shoulders. “What do you think of the gardens so far?”
***
The day continued pleasantly, ending with dinner at a hole-in-the-wall Estinien found in one of his previous outings. As they strolled along the beach in Shirogane, Estinien could not help but reflect on their conversation earlier in the day.
Agi wants children. A large family. It’s about love and commitment and shit. A decision we make together. But what do I want? I want to see her happy and fulfilled and safe and laughing. And if that means having a lot babes, then I’ll see it done. But no! She’ll just get more upset if I phrase it like that. What do I want? What do I want? I want…I want…
“Love, is something the matter?” Agnes stopped ahead of him and turned around. Concerned was painted on her face.
I want…us to have a family. I want a life of peace for us, for our children. I want them to grow up in a world better than the one I did. I want them to know that they are loved. I want to see you glow as you grow rounder and full with child. I want to see you smile when the baby first kicks. I want to hold our babes and teach them everything I know. I want…
“Estinien?” She reached for his arm. “Love? What’s wrong?” Panic began to creep in her voice. “Love?”
Estinien closed his eyes. I want this. I want this for us. “I…I want to have children.” He opened his eyes to see Agnes a mixture of shocked and confused.
“But we don’t have to talk about it now, look at what happened before—”
He took her hands in his, blinking back tears. “I want us to have children. I want this. As many you’d like to have. They’d be loved. We’d give them a good life.” His voice cracked. “We could show them the world---all the wonders you’ve seen. And things we can discover together as a family. And you’d be so beautiful---even more so than now. I want this. I want this.” He raised her hands to his lips. Agi, I want this. Worry no more. I want this. I want this so badly.
“Oh love,” Agnes whispered, throwing her arms around his neck. “Are you sure? Because—”
“More sure than anything. I want this, Agi. With you. Only with you.” He hugged her tightly, breathing in her scent. “You’ll be so beautiful. So beautiful.”
Agnes laughed into his chest. “Truly? Not going to be disgusted when I’m as big as Fortemps Manor?”
Estinien loosened the embrace and took Agnes’ face in his hands. “Nay. You’ll be beautiful. I know it.”
“Are you absolutely sure? I don’t want to pressure you or feel like you’re doing this to make me happy, because even if we didn’t I’d still love you.” Agnes shut her eyes. “I felt so awful about this morning. I ruined a good moment with what just popped into my head. I put you on the spot, and that’s not right! And I’m so—"
Estinien silenced her with a kiss. “You think far too much sometimes.” He chuckled, kissing her forehead. “This is what I want. Now…I don’t think is the time—”
“I agree.” Agnes said sheepishly. “I have a feeling that things are going to be insane again soon.”
“But in the future, maybe sooner than later, when we are both ready, yes. Agree, my love?”
“Agree!” Agnes kissed him happily, and were they not in a public place, Estinien would have summoned Nidhogg’s strength to pick her up and spin her around.
I wonder if her bottom and tits will get bigger…? A thought for another time perhaps. “Shall we head back to the inn?”
“I think so, love. Even though we can’t start now, we could always…hmmmm, practice our technique. You know, for having a baby.” Agnes winked. “What do you think?”
Damn me straight to the seven hells. This woman is going to be the death of me. Estinien pinched her ass and smirked. “I’m amendable if my lady is.”
“She is, love.” Agnes purred as he pinched her ass once more.
“Then off we go, sweet girl.” Estinien and Agnes walked hand in hand back to the inn, full of smiles and on his end at least, relief.
I know it won’t be easy---nothing in life ever is. But worry not, my sweetest love, I want this. Some dreams are too important to let go. And I shall never let this dream go.