Archive of Our Own ^beta

Michelle has never been one to dwell on the past. She doesn't tire herself with what could have been, had she acted differently, or if she had taken the bus instead of a taxi on that rainy morning just last week.

She's happy with whatever got her standing where she is now, she's as happy as one in this mad world could possibly be, and part of her is incredibly grateful she got to experience the majority of her life in relative peace.

Now, as she sits quietly on a bench just outside of what used to be Peter Pan’s (although she never liked working there, the place snuck its way into her heart anyway) Michelle smiles while new yorkers rush past her, too worried about schedules and timetables to appreciate life itself; to stop and breathe in the air and catch a glimpse of the leaves falling from the trees.

She wouldn't either if she were as young as them, though.

As incredible as it sounds, advanced age has softened Michelle up in certain ways, allowing her to see the world with different eyes, to take her time with everything because she's aware there will be a moment she won't be able to.

Michelle appreciates the view surrounding her, the little kids with their families giggling around the lake just a few feet from where she sits reminding her of her own grandchildren, all smiles and enthusiastic demeanor.

She notices someone sitting down on the bench opposite of her, on the other side of the grassy pathway, and Michelle finds herself looking at them out of pure curiosity. 

He's not wearing a coat despite the chilly wind; there's a small book opened carefully on his palm as he reads it intently, and he's got a beanie on (which Michelle finds incredibly endearing given his age because let's be honest, he looks like he might be around her age as well).

His features are covered by a 5 o'clock gray beard and a few white locks are escaping from under the beanie, sculpting his face to look somewhat boyish, young.

Michelle can't help thinking that those cheekbones – although quite wrinkly now – look extremely familiar to her.

The stranger looks up then as if sensing her attentive gaze on him, and it's as if she's suddenly back in high school, the chocolate brown eyes staring back at her making her feel like she's 16 all over again, atop the roof of Midtown Tech while she talks about the future with both Ned and him.

Ned… how much she misses him.

Michelle is suddenly 17 and she sees the boy she fell in love with in front of her, all teary-eyed as he promises he'll come back, that he'll explain everything. 

She can still feel the tingles of his lips pressing on hers.

Michelle wonders if he still feels hers too, yet by the look on his face as he stares back at her, she's 67% sure he  still does .

There's so much she wants to ask him, to talk to him about, yet she knows it's not possible.

Michelle knew that dreadful early morning when he made all those promises that he wouldn't keep any of them.

Not the ones he told her about, anyway.

The single one he kept to himself, he definitely did – that he would put neither Ned nor her in danger for the rest of their lives, no matter how lonely he could end up being.

He made his choice plenty of decades ago and so did she, as all it took for her to recover all the memories was to put on one of his punny t-shirts he left on her drawer one evening on and all of a sudden everything came flooding back like a tidal wave. Still, she didn't search for him, she knew he wouldn't want her to.

They both made promises and they know which ones mattered the most.

Funny how all of those decisions brought them to  this  moment, at the small park in front of the place they last met 60 years ago, staring at each other with a fond, sad smile on their lips as they take each other in.

He has probably lived his life to the fullest just as she did.

Maybe raised a family, just like she did.

They did all that, and when once she thought they'd be doing it together, the world decided it wouldn't be that way. 

It decided that they could be happy without each other.

They  had  to.

Now, as Michelle looks at Peter Parker across from her, she realizes her love for him never really went away.

She might've loved her husband, the father of her kids, the best friend she didn't ask for but was grateful of having met when she did, but a deep part of her – the majority of her heart – has always belonged to Peter and nobody else.

And Michelle  knows , as he gives her a small, genuine smile that lights up his whole face just like it did when they were 15, that he understands it as well.

The world wasn't in their favor for their whole lives, yet now it's the time - or lack thereof - that keeps them apart.

Michelle only hopes, as she casts one last look at him before standing up and returning home, that he's lived a happy life, the way a hero deserves, and that maybe someday when time freezes for a few blissful moments, they can be together once again.