Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Up until two days ago the ship hadn’t even had an Executive Officer. The XO’s duties had been portioned out amongst senior officers as Commander Shepard had seen fit – himself included, and quite frankly he was more than happy to have the extra paperwork off his plate.

That being said, Steve Cortez wasn’t sure what to make of the newest member of the Normandy’s crew. The Major was an unknown quantity as far as most of the crew were concerned. He hadn’t actually met the man yet, but word from the ship’s marine detail had him pegged as a bit of a hardass. Talk of early morning PT drills, confiscation of contraband, and write-ups for uniform code violations, Major Alenko was rumoured to be a stickler for proper protocol. Then again Cortez had been in the military long enough not to trust scuttlebutt. He preferred to judge people on their own merits.

Then came word of a surprise inspection. Cortez hated inspections, not because he was worried about his work not being up to snuff, but because he felt he was being second-guessed. He double- and triple-checked every piece of equipment before it went into the field. He kept the Kodiaks in top flight condition, despite the Commander’s penchant for getting it shot at (or Vega’s talent for crashing it). Flight Lieutenant Steve Cortez was incredibly good at his job; Shepard had always trusted him to do that job, and he’d never given her a reason not to. He checked the fittings on the starboard exhaust port for the third time

No, Cortez was less than pleased at being given the white glove treatment by someone who hadn’t even been a part of this crew until a couple of days ago.

Vega on the other hand seemed to relish the thought. “Hey, Esteban, quit pacing, would ya, you’re gonna wear a hole through the deck. You got nothing to worry about. The Major’s a good guy. He and Shepard have history. She wouldn’a let him back on the ship if she didn’t trust ‘im. Besides, it’s not like the guy knows a thruster from a mass effect generator”

“Actually, Lieutenant,” Vega jumped nearly hit his head off the metal framework that made up his work station/quarters, “the mass effect generator partially powers the Kodiak’s thrusters during take-off and landing. It’s what makes her one of the more manoeuvrable shuttles currently in use by the Systems Alliance. That being said, she still flies like a brick.” The tenor voice coming from behind him had a bit of gravel to it. The Major was stealthier than he looked.

“Attention on deck!” Vega hollered, snapping a salute.

“As you were, Lieutenant. You know, there are only the three of us down here, eh, marine?” The dark-haired SPECTRE ran a hand along the shuttle’s chassis. “She’s a beaut, Lieutenant Cortez. And a lot less dented than the last time I saw her.”

The man knew his shuttles, and how to take the piss out of Vega. Cortez was liking him more every minute.

“Thank you, sir. It took me four days to repair the hull plating after the Mars ‘incident.’” Steve shot a pointed look at the burly weapons officer.

“You’re never gonna let me live that one down, are you Esteban?” Vega shouted from across the bay.

“No, Mr. Vega, I am not.” He turned to address the more senior marine in the room, “Would you like me to show you around, Major?”

“Hmm? Oh, sorry, Lt. Cortez. No, I think I can figure out where everything is. This isn’t a formal inspection, I’m just trying to get a feel for the ship. Didn’t really have time to look around before...” his hand subconsciously rubbed his throat.

“Right. Of course, sir. Feel free to have a look around.”

Vega piped in, “Just don’t touch his tools. He gets snippy when you move them.”

“A place for everything, and...”

“Everything in its place.” Alenko finished along with him. “I never touch anyone’s tools without their permission,” he winked at Cortez. He heard James snort from across the room.

Cortez smiled to himself. Yup, he and the Major were going to get along just fine.

Chapter Text

“Cute kid.”

Kaidan startled at the sudden presence in the starboard obs lounge. He didn’t know how long he’d been staring at the holo on his omnitool.

“Sorry, Major. I didn’t mean to snoop. I didn’t expect anyone else to be in here at this hour.”

This hour? What time was it? “No worries, Cortez. I just... lost track of time I guess. And we’re off duty, you can call me Kaidan.”

“I’ll try and remember that, sir.”

Kaidan smiled to himself, Cortez was definitely career military, and some habits were harder than others to break. He knew it all too well. It had taken Shepard two solid months of cajoling to get him to stop referring to her as ‘Commander’ all the time.

“Take a load off, Lieutenant.” He pronounced the word with an ‘F’, a throwback to British colonialism – a habit he only broke when the brass were listening.

Steve took a seat at the other end of the couch. “So who’s the kid?”

“My daughter, Micah. It’s an old picture. Maybe six, no, seven years ago. Her mother and I married young.” The child in the holo had a giant grin on her face as she stood proudly beside a sandcastle that was taller than she was. She wore a white and blue polka dotted bathing-suit, and triumphantly wielded a red plastic bucket in one hand, and a tiny yellow shovel in the other.

“I didn’t know you were married.”

“I’m not. It... didn’t work out. We were young, dumb, and in love. Add in trauma bonding and it’s not the best recipe for a lasting marriage.”

“Sorry to hear it.”

“Don’t be. Siddha and I are still friends, and we have an amazing kid. She’s smart, funny, and curious. Last I heard, she wants to be a geologist, but that’s probably changed four times since we last spoke – two days before the attack on Earth. She’ll be... holy shit... sixteen next month. She and her mother moved to Terra Nova six years ago. I haven’t seen her in person in four years. I’ve been trying to contact the colony to see if she and Sid are okay, but comms are spotty at best. Sorry, I didn’t mean to dump all that on you, Lieutenant. You came in here to relax and here I am talking your ear off. I’ll go. I should probably grab something to eat anyway.” Kaidan closed the holo and made to stand up.

“Hey, don’t worry about it Maj-- Kaidan. Sounds like you needed to vent, and, not to brag or anything, but listening is one of my many talents. You mind if I join you in the mess? I reheat a mean leftover.”

Kaidan smiled, maybe the Flight Lieutenant wasn’t a hopeless case after all. “Sure, Cortez. I think I smelled lasagne wafting in here earlier.”

“It’s Steve, by the way. If you’re planning on being informal in your off hours. Vega only calls me ‘Esteban’ because he doesn’t think my name is ‘Spanish enough.’ I speak the language better than he does.”

Kaidan quirked a half-smile at him, “Steve it is, then.” The two of them took the short walk past the medbay to the ship’s mess. This was one change from the original Normandy that he could get used to. At least he could cook something real up in the wee hours instead of resorting to MREs or ration bars. Biotic metabolism was a pain in the butt.

Cortez dug through the fridge and extricated the remains of a decent looking lasagne, while Kaidan rooted around in the cupboards above the sink looking for a couple of plates that were passably clean. The dishwasher needed a serious upgrade.

“This okay?” Cortez asked, gesturing at the baked pasta with the spatula, marking out a portion size.

“Mm, double it.”

“Seriously? That’s easily 1200 calories.”

“Yup, and I’m still going to need dessert. I’m nowhere near my minimum requirement today.”

“Didn’t I see you eat like 4 sandwiches at lunch. Man, I do not know where you put it all. If I ate the way you do I’d be 140 kilos easy.”

“One of the many perks of having biotics. Not only do I burn through 50% more energy than most people, I also accumulate massive electrical charges, and get brain searing migraines.” Cortez had a puzzled look on his face. “Wait. Did you not know? I just figured everyone on the ship knew. My reputation tends to precede me.” Kaidan Lifted the slice of lasagne and set it on one of the plates like it was nothing.

Cortez just stared at him wide-eyed, “That’s kind of amazing, you know. How you can just do that.”

Kaidan set the plates in the microwave. “Have you never met a human biotic before, Steve.”

“Never. Not a lot of biotics in the air force, and all of my planetary postings were in small colonies. I guess you guys are still pretty rare.”

“Even rarer now that Conatix and the like have stopped ‘accidentally’ dumping their eezo cores over populated areas.”

“I’d heard rumours, but I had no idea they were true. That’s low.” He took the plates from the insistently beeping appliance, and they removed themselves to a nearby table.

“Yeah, not exactly pillars of the community. But I’ve learned to make the most of it. It’s way easier to pin a shot on a Marauder when they’re hanging ten feet in the air. And I can carry very hot plates without actually touching them...” he smirked.

Cortez laughed around a forkful of pasta. He has a nice laugh, Kaidan thought. A shame that he’s married. He’d noted the gold band on Steve’s dog-tag chain earlier.

He seems like a wonderful guy, Cortez thought. A shame that he’s straight.

Chapter Text

The message on his omnitool was simple enough:

Major Alenko,

There’s a package waiting for you in the armoury. You’ll want to see this.

         - F/Lt. Cortez

Was it wrong that his first thought was, “if only.”? But Kaidan was pretty sure he knew exactly what it was just the same. They’d received a large shipment from a supply freighter about an hour ago. The whole ship had been buzzing in anticipation this morning – Specialist Traynor seemed weirdly overexcited about a toothbrush.

He pressed the button for the elevator and was mildly surprised to find the Commander already aboard.

“Going down?”

“You wish.” He grinned

“Never lose that sense of humour, Major.”

He clutched melodramatically at his chest, “I’m hurt.” She punched him in the arm. “Ow.”

“You are now.”

He rubbed the sore spot on his bicep. She definitely hit harder than she used to. He absently wondered just how many changes Cerberus had made to her. “I take it you ordered some goodies.”

She bounced a little and rubbed her hands together, “Brand new Black Widow with a thermal scope and expanded magazine. I cannot wait to try that puppy out on some real targets.” There’s a ridiculous grin on her face.

When they reached the shuttle bay they discovered a queue had formed. “You know, Garrus is going to be awfully jealous.”

“Oh please, he’s far too attached to the one he has. Overly so, if you ask me. What is with this line-up? I didn’t come all the way down here to wait for my gear.”

“If you’ll allow me, Commander.” She quirked an eyebrow at him, as he cleared his throat, “Ten-hut! Commander on deck!” There was nothing quite like the sound of several dozen pairs of feet moving in unison to stand at attention. He could almost feel the breeze from the salutes – the drills were starting to pay off.

“Nice, but you’re not saluting,” she stage whispered to the Major.

“I outrank you. Now go get your stuff.”

“Yes, sir,” she replied with a smirk. She could practically hear the eye-roll behind her as she traipsed to the front of the line. They were finally getting their rhythm back. He moved off to the side content to wait out the crowd. She called out, “as you were!” in that clear, low, authoritative he’d always admired, and returned to the elevator with gun case in tow. He didn’t miss the mock salute she threw as the doors closed.

Twenty-five minutes later the shuttle bay is finally cleared of extraneous personnel, leaving just Vega, Cortez, a couple of marines, and Kaidan.

Cortez approached him bearing a small crate. “Sorry for the wait, Major. It seems like everybody on the ship had something on order, including EDI.”

Kaidan tried to suppress an involuntary shudder. He’d faced off with far too many hostile AIs over the last few years to fully trust them. The fact that she was walking around the ship in a body that had tried to kill him only a couple of months ago, didn’t help matters. EDI seemed pleasant enough. Shepard trusted it, and he trusted Shepard; so, for now, he was willing to coexist with it.

“Don’t worry about it, Lieutenant, I have another hour before my watch starts. And the transit to the Far Rim is going to take another day and a half, so I have plenty of time to kill. But, enough talk,” he said taking the crate out Cortez’ hands, “I want to see if this fits. Seems light.”

“Double the protection of your old armour at 75% of the weight. You can try it on in the shuttle.”

“Good call. Better than stripping down to my skivvies behind a bunch of crates, eh?” Which, in point of fact, had been his original plan. The Kodiak at least had benches, and, he was embarrassed to say, his locker. He boarded the shuttle through the side hatch and closed it behind him.

Kaidan pulled the skinsuit on before opening the crate full of custom painted, blue & white, ablative plates. He started with the boots, then worked his way up, attaching seals and clips as he went: greaves, thigh guards, groin plate – all these years and he still had no idea what you called the pieces that covered your butt, which was a problem about now, because they seemed to be missing.

He popped open the side hatch on the shuttle, “Cortez! I think we were short-shipped,” he yelled. The Flight Lieutenant’s head appeared in the doorway a moment later. “I seem to be missing my... ummm...” he turned around and gestured toward his behind.

“Ah, no ass guards.” Kaidan raised his brows. “What? I wear flightsuits and fatigues, I have no idea what they’re called.”

“I don’t either, but that’s not the issue. The problem is, they’re not in the crate. And neither is the helmet. Did they fall off the back of the freighter?” He sits down on the edge of the shuttles hatchway, legs dangling above the floor.

Cortez blanched. Had he missed a crate? No, he’d checked every box against the manifest twice. Nothing was missing. And yet... The crate didn’t look tampered with. Maybe another crewman got the wrong box. Or..

“Hey, you looking for these, Major?” Vega held up the plates. “Ariake has a habit of making them too narrow, so I amended your order for something with a little more... uhhh... room in the back. I just need a minute to adjust them. And the term you’re looking for is ‘tasset’.” Cortez glared at the weapons officer.

“Good to know. While I appreciate you looking out for my ass, next time, ask me before you change my order.”

“Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.” James handed the newly fitted plates over, “These should fit fine now.”

Kaidan hauled himself back in the Kodiak and attached the plates to the rest of the leg gear, and moved on to the rest of the armour. Back and breast plates, gauntlets, vambraces, rerebraces and pauldrons. Everything else was there. Except...

“Joker says he found your helmet in his crate of... well... he found your helmet. That’s the important bit. Now hop down here and let me check you out... I mean check the armour out.” Cortez reddened visibly. “How does it feel?”

“Fits like a glove. Pauldrons could use a little tweaking, but other than that, I think we’re good. My eyes are up here Lieutenant.”

“Pardon? Sorry, sir. Just admiring Mr. Vega’s handiwork.”

“He does nice work. Just one more thing I need to check. You might want to stand back.” A quick flick of his left wrist and he was limned in blue light from head to toe, an answering flick with the right and the light went out. “Good. I’ve had pieces detach when I’ve lit up before. Not something you want in the middle of a firefight.”

“I don’t think that will ever cease to amaze me. Now, let’s do a shield check, then we can get you out of that armour.”

Kaidan pulls up the haptic display on his omnitool, “Hmm... kinetic barrier is reading at only 83% without the helmet. I’ll have to tweak the settings later.” He winked and added, “And I think I can get out of this by myself,” He seriously hadn’t meant to flirt with Steve, but he was making it so easy. He changed back into his fatigues and repacked the armour crate.

“Thanks for the assist, Cortez. It’s good to know Vega’s literally looking out for my ass, even if he’d rather have Shepard’s.”

“So, you’ve seen him trying to flirt with her, hunh?”

“Oh yeah. I wonder if he knows she’s gay.”

“Nope, I don’t think he’s figured that one out yet.”

“Give him time. He’d have a better chance with me. Not really my type though, too much bulk.”

“Sir? No offence, but I thought you were...”

“Straight? Not a chance. That would ruin half the fun,” he said with a sly smile. “If you don’t mind, Lieutenant, I’m going to stash this in the corner. I’ll finish the work tomorrow.”

“Uh, sure. I mean, yes sir, that’s alright with me.”

“I appreciate it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with the war room and a metric fuck tonne of datapads.”

The Major returned Cortez’ salute and made for the elevator doors. Steve could have sworn there was more of swish to his hips than there had been earlier. Not that he’d been looking or anything....

“Hey, Esteban, you need the place to yourself for a bit?”

“Shut up, James.”

Chapter Text

Most of the time Steve enjoyed the relative peace and quiet of the shuttle bay. Something almost always needed his attention down there. A piece of equipment to be inventoried, a requisition order to be negotiated, another dent in the Kodiak’s plating to be repaired. Today though, today it was just tense even down in the bowels of the ships.

Shepard had taken a team to infiltrate a geth dreadnought in order to disable the Reaper signal controlling the geth fleet and save the Quarian fleet. The details had, admittedly, been a bit over his head, and clearly above his pay grade. All he knew was the ship was, save for the Reaper ships he’d seen on Earth, the largest he’d ever seen.

She’d taken Garrus and a young quarian admiral who had served aboard the Normandy in the past. The Major was helping co-ordinate with the quarian admiralty in the War Room. In the meantime, the rest of the crew was on stand-by. There was a lot riding on this mission and everyone was feeling it.

They’d been down there for over an hour now. The snippets of chatter he’d caught over the comms had not been reassuring. Then came the flurry of yelling and background explosions, before Joker cut in on the shuttle bay’s direct channel.

“Lower the ramp, you’ve got incoming. Don’t shoot it!”

“Clear the deck!” he yelled, “Joker, confirm incoming.”

“Confirming one geth fighter craft coming in hot. Ground team’s aboard.”

Cortez entered in a few commands on the control console, then punched a button to lower the loading ramp.

“I’ll take it from here Lieutenant.” The Major marched out of the elevator in full armour and backed by a squad of marines, as if he’d known from the get-go that the mission would go sideways. He ordered the marine contingent to set up on either side of the ramp ready with guns and fire suppression gear. Every one of them was in breather masks and mag-boots in case the deck had to be vented. Cortez took the hint and secured his work station. His brain absently noted just how good command looked on the Major.

The next few seconds were a blur of activity. The ramp lowered into place, and an unfamiliar ship lighted with surprising grace on the Normandy’s deck. Weapons were brought to bear on whatever passed for a cockpit on a geth ship, as the top hissed open, revealing a geth mobile platform at the helm.

“Everybody stand down!” Shepard ordered from her place in the storage compartment. “Legion is with us.” Alenko signalled his marines to holster their guns, but kept his own trained on the geth as it and the ground team exited the ship. “I mean it, Major. Holster your weapon.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He grumbled something under his breath, but complied against his better judgment. “Secure the deck! Collins, Boychuk! You’re on guard duty. If that thing so much as twitches, space it. Barriss, Fortin! Escort the Commander and this...,” he gestured at Legion, “to the War Room. Everyone else is dismissed. Cortez, please secure the ramp.”

There were a lot of yes sirs, aye, ayes, and salutes as orders were carried out.

“Commander, welcome back. Ship’s all yours, ma’am.”

“Damn right she is, Major. Debriefing in fifteen. War Room. Cortez, the Alliance’ll want to study that thing. Get it off my ship and into their hands ASAP.”

“Aye, aye, Commander.”

Shepard pulled Major Alenko into the elevator and Cortez could have sworn she started the Major’s dressing down before the doors were even shut. He did not envy the man right now.

The geth fighter was perched on the deck looking, for all intents and purposes, like a predatory insect. It was somewhere between a flea and a wasp to Cortez’ eye. It was unnerving, and he could swear it was watching him. Well, time to make a few calls, then grab a cup of something caffeinated. The sooner he could get that thing out of his sight, the better.

An hour later Cortez had finalized transport for the geth fighter, and was having a celebratory cup of what passed for coffee in the mess. He’d just begun to enjoy himself when Vega’s voice cut in on his quiet time. “Hey, Cortez. I need your help down here. I think the debrief went bad.” He heard clattering in the background, “Really bad. Alenko’s pissed.”

“Call the Commander.”

“Can’t. She’s in a high-level strategy session. Do not disturb orders.”

“Fine, I’ll be down in a minute.”

“You might wanna hurry before he breaks something important.”

Great. What was he? The ship’s councillor? Cortez slammed back the coffee and took the elevator back down.

“Mr. Vega, this had better be goo--” an empty supply crate went hurtling down the length of the bay and slammed into the back wall. It was followed up by a string of epithets in at least three different languages. The only word he’d actually caught was ‘geth’.

“You see the problem? Look, he listens to you. I tried talking to him, but he snagged my gun and tossed me into the air. You might wanna get him before he starts in on the weapons crates.”

“You went in armed?”

“I’m marine, Cortez, I shoot things, I don’t negotiate with them.”

Steve sighed, this day just kept getting better and better. Another crate popped into view then slammed into the deck plating with a metallic crunch. “Major Alenko... Kaidan... I’m coming over there. I’m unarmed. I just want to talk.”

Another string of expletives. He had no idea the Major was a polyglot – at least when it came to swearing. Cortez rounded the pile of empty crates slowly. There was the major dressed in combat fatigues, wreathed in crackling blue-purple energy, the expression on his face was one of absolute fury. “I really don’t feel like talking, Cortez.” Another crate lifted off the ground.

“Fine, but could you please stop throwing my inventory around?” He tried to suppress the tremor in his voice as he spoke. The crate dropped to the floor, this time a lot more gently. “Thanks.”

Kaidan’s fist hit the wall. The light around him dissipated, and he slid to the floor. “Geth, Steve. She wants me to work with god-damned geth.”

“So you thought you’d take it out on the shuttle bay?”

“Sorry. I really needed to hit something. I figured a bunch of empty boxes wouldn’t mind. I didn’t mean to scare anyone.” He rubbed at the back of his hand.

Steve dropped to the floor in front of him. “Well, you did. I’ve gotta say, man, that was terrifying. That’s a lot of power you were pitching around. It doesn’t seem like you.”

“How the hell would you know what’s like me?” Kaidan snapped. Cortez looked like he’d been slapped in the face. Kaidan’s shoulders slumped, “Steve, I... I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just... I’ve worked so hard to control my temper. It’s gotten me into more trouble than you can imagine, and I don’t like other people seeing it. I’m so sorry. I’ll fix the damage to the deck.”

“Yeah, you will. Come on, Major. My shift ended awhile ago. Let’s go talk somewhere a little more comfortable, and a little less prone to denting, preferably with alcohol.” He glanced up at the slight hollow in the wall. Kaidan gave a small smile and a shrug. “And maybe get some ice for that hand.”

“I’d like that. Here,” he handed the younger man the Carnifex V attached to his hip, “you should probably give this back to Lieutenant Vega. I really don’t like having guns pointed at me. Especially by my own people.”

“Did you really toss him across the room?”

“Nah, I lifted him off the ground a little and pushed him a few feet onto his keester.”

Cortez snorted a laugh as he stood up. “I’m kinda disappointed.” He offered a hand and pulled Kaidan to his feet.

****

They’d been sitting in the Port Observation Lounge for the better of a bottle of tequila, not talking about much of anything in particular.

“I’s not like I dunno the kind of damage I can do.” He slammed back the shot, “So I try not to use my powers on anything that’s not trying to kill me.” Cortez refilled the shot glasses, “And a lot of geth have tried to kill me. And now I’m just supposed to forget that?” He downed the second shot without thinking. “This one’s different, Kaidan. He helped me defeat the Collectors, Kaidan. Bullshit.”

“I’m sure the Commander has her reasons.” Two more shots were poured and quickly consumed.

“Yes, she does.” The two men nearly fell off their barstools.

“Commander Shepard!” two very drunk voices replied in unison(ish)

“Cortez, are you trying to get my XO drunk?”

“No, ma’am. I mean. Yes, ma’am, but...”

“Relax, Steve. We’re all adults here. And off duty. Can you give us the room, please?” He nodded and very carefully inched his way toward the elevator.

“Commander!” he held up the nearly empty bottle and swirled the contents around, “Drink? I’s really good.”

Shepard raised an eyebrow at him, “Thanks, but no.”

“Good. More for me then. Wha’ can I do fer you?” He gave up all pretenses of civility and took a swig straight from the bottle.

“I hear you did some redecorating in the shuttle bay.”

“Oh, right. You heard about that, hunh? I might maybe have got a teensy bit upset. But ‘m better now.”

“Kaidan, I can’t have you losing control like that. Crew morale is hard enough to maintain without my second in command trying to punch holes in the hull. Get a grip, Alenko.”

“I’m fine Lyss. Jus’ hadda blow off some steam ‘s all.”

“You’re the one who’s supposed to keep me on an even keel, Major. You’re the level-headed one. The logical one. The one I can always count on to have my back no matter what.”

“What? So I’m not allowed to have a bad day? I’m not allowed to have feelings?” He stretched out the final word for effect.

“Of course you can. Do you think I like this? We need the quarian fleet, and Legion has intel we can use to end their stupid war and get it. It had my back against the Collectors and I have to trust that it has it now. We’re working with Legion whether you approve or not.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Kaidan. I need your head in the game. Can you do that, marine?”

“Ma’am. Yes, ma’am.”

“At least you’re making new friends.”

“Who? Steve? Yeah, I like ‘im. An’ he’s kinda cute for a flyboy.”

“Kaidan,” her tone implied a warning.

“Don’t worry, Shepard. I don’t go after married men. ‘M very bad at sharing.”

“Steve isn’t married, Kaidan. He’s widowed. He lost his husband at Ferris Fields last year. Collectors. I don’t want him getting hurt again.”

“Shit. Lyss, I didn’ know. I’ll cut the flirting if you wan’ me to.”

“Just be careful. It took me long enough to get him to relax and stop working himself to death. On second thought, maybe you’ll be good for each other. It seems he can let his guard down around you. Just... try to keep it platonic.”

“I make no promises. But I’ll try.”

“Whatever. Go drink a gallon of bio-juice, and sleep that crap off. We’re dropping on Rannoch at 0800. I want you on the ground team.” The Commander, it seemed to him, had a sadistic streak.

“Aye, aye, ma’am,” Kaidan groaned, “You’re lucky I burn through booze faster than most people. Hangover’s still gonna be a sonuvabitch.”

"I know, you deserve it. G'night, Alenko. See you bright and early," she chirped.

Chapter Text

Kaidan thanked his lucky stars and whatever deities were responsible for these sorts of things, that the mission to shut down the geth server on Rannoch didn’t involve him actually having to shoot anything. The tinted visor and the geth’s disinclination toward interior lighting also made life a lot easier.

Still, waiting for Commander Alyssa Shepard while her mind was hooked up to a geth server set Kaidan’s teeth on edge. The geth she called Legion had been less than forthcoming with the mission details, and he was still of half a mind to empty a clip into the damned thing just to be on the safe side. But those weren’t his orders. Keep watch. Keep her safe. Keep the peace.

He paced back and forth across the small room, never taking his eyes off the pod. Tali bounced nervously on the balls of her feet, a habit he’d noticed years before in Citadel elevators. He suspected the quarian machinist wasn’t a fan of small enclosed spaces. Not that he could blame her. The inert Geth Prime platforms lining the walls as they’d entered made the whole place even more daunting.

There was a slight hiss as the pod opened and the Commander stepped out. He ran med-scan. She seemed a little disoriented, but otherwise okay.

“Did it work?” she asked, cracking her neck – a bad habit that still irked him a little, but at least she was alive.

EDI confirmed the status of the geth fighter squadrons above the planet. One hundred percent offline. Everything seemed to be in order. Then the double-crossing machine made its move. A dozen primes emerged into room. They were outnumbered and out-gunned, with nowhere to manoeuvre. His rifle was trained on the traitorous synthetic in seconds. If he was going out that thing was going with him.

He knew he should have known better than to trust the geth, but Shepard had insisted. She too pulled her pistol while still trying to talk her way out. Only Shepard would try to reason with machines. It fed her some line about persuading a bunch of programs to join the cause against the Reapers.

“They are now us,” it said.

Bullshit, he thought, reluctantly lowering his weapon at her command. The machines weren’t actively trying to kill them at the moment; that didn’t mean they wouldn’t change their minds. But Shepard trusted the geth, and Kaidan trusted Shepard, so he didn’t blast a new hole in Legion. That didn’t mean he didn’t think she’d lost her goddamned mind. Tali muttered something under her breath that sounded less than complimentary.

When the team boarded the shuttle a few minutes later, less the docile geth primes, Kaidan opted not to look Shepard in the eye for awhile. He was trying extremely hard not to lose his temper again. She was already pissed off at him for the tantrum he’d thrown yesterday. He needed to cool off before they spoke again.

“Lieutenant Cortez, you mind if I sit up here.”

“Suit yourself, Major. I always appreciate pleasant company,” his laugh-lines crinkling as he smiled. “...you do have flight credentials, right?”

“Yeah, but they might be a bit out of date. If I recall from the simulators, these things fly like a brick,” he grinned. “At least in your hands it flies like a somewhat more graceful brick.”

“That it does, Major.”

Stop staring, Alenko. The mission is more important than your minor infatuation. He just had to keep telling himself that. Maybe, if he repeated it enough times, he might start to believe it. He reclined the seat and glued his eyes to the windscreen. Kaidan figured a cold shower once they were back aboard wouldn’t go amiss either.

They chatted about nothing in particular for the remainder of the short flight, Kaidan making the barest minimum of eye-contact. “We’re getting up a card game at 21:00 in the port lounge. Just for fun, of course. You should join in.” Cortez added as they were about to depart the shuttle.

“That sounds like a trap. Last time someone talked me into a game ‘just for fun’ I woke up in my skivvies in a crate of coffee beans, on a cargo hauler bound for the Skyllian Verge.... long story.”

Cortez laughed loudly, “You’ll have to tell me that one some time.”

“Alright, Mr. Procurement Officer, find me a case of 15-year-old single malt Aberfeldy and you have a deal.”

“You’re on, Alenko... I mean Major Alenko, sir.” Cortez’s cheeks flushed pink, and Kaidan was sure the blood in his brain had just migrated to more southerly climes. Thank goodness for heavy armour plating.

“Game sounds like fun. I could use a little relaxation that involves a minimum of intoxicants... or property damage. Once again, I am so, so sorry about that.”

_________________________________________________________

Kaidan entered the Port Observation Lounge a few hours later only to find it vacant except for one Lieutenant James Vega.

“Hey, Major. Garrus and Sparks got tapped for that mission to rescue some quarian admiral who got trapped behind enemy lines. Cortez is flyin’ ‘em in, so I guess it’s just you and me. We can still play if you wanna. Not as fun with just two, but I’m sure I can take your creds just as easy.”

“You can always try, Lieutenant. I was here to bow out. Migraine. But if you want to take advantage of man in pain...”

“No need to go flirting with me, Major. I can take a rain-check. I like to part a man from his cash fair and square.”

“I wasn’t fl... never mind. Tomorrow, same time?” He pinched the bridge of his nose. It didn’t really do anything for the impending pain, it just gave him something to focus on.

“Yeah, sure. Sounds good,” James said. Just before the Major reached the door he added, “About you and Esteban, just be good to him, okay?”

Kaidan blinked a couple of times, not sure he actually heard the lieutenant correctly. The ringing in his ears was making it difficult to be certain. “Vega, there is no ‘me and Esteban’.”

“I noticed. That’s the problem. Pretty sure he’d like there to be.”

“Are you asking about my intentions, James?” It was kind of sweet in an old-fashioned, over-protective sort of way, Kaidan thought.

“Maybe?” the brick wall of a marine replied. “Look. The guy’s my best friend. All the crap he’s been through he deserves to be happy. All I’m sayin’ is, since you joined up he’s been smiling a lot more. But whatever. Just...” he rubs the back of his neck nervously, “don’t break his heart, alright?”

Kaidan smiled despite the pain, “I’ll take that under advisement, lieutenant. Now, if that’s everything, I’m going somewhere dark and quiet.” The door swished open as he placed a hand against the interface, “and James? Thanks.”

Chapter Text

Get them in, get them out. That was his part in the mission. The most important part he’d argue. A part that he took very seriously. Today that part changed. Today he didn’t passively spend his time parked or circling around waiting to extract the ground team. Today he had a role to play.

The mission parameters had changed early on. It was clear from the minute they approached Koris’ last known position that the geth were actively jamming communications in the area. Scans had shown a large signal tower not far from their objective.

Unfortunately, it soon became clear that taking out the tower was not going to be an easy feat. He’ d barely managed to avoid the opening salvo from at least six anti-aircraft guns surrounding the tower. He’d skimmed the shuttle in low over the water, dodging the high-energy projectiles as he went. The rock arch near the shoreline was low enough to afford him some cover as he quickly scanned ahead for a place to land.

“Alright, people. The plan’s changed. Tali, Garrus, we’ll go in on foot. Clear out anything standing between us and those damned guns, and take them offline. Cortez--”

“Ma’am.”

“This bird’s got cannons, right?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he smiled to himself. He knew where this was headed.

“Think the Kodiak can take out that jamming tower?”

He tried to keep the smile of his face, really. “Yes, ma’am. It most definitely can.”

“Good. The second those AA guns are offline, I want you to blow it to hell.”

“Aye, aye, ma’am.”

“Once comms are back up, we locate Koris, extract him, and get out. Now find me place to land.”

Steve located a flat spot in a small clearing on the edge of rocky cliff. The comm tower was barely visible above the rocky outcropping, but at least he had a line of sight. Now all he had to do was sit, and wait, and worry as he always did when Shepard and company were out in the open. After all, someone had to. The woman was nigh on invincible on the field, but she was still human, and sometimes she seemed to forget that.

Ten minutes, and a lot of distant gunfire later he’d spotted the flare. Except for a brief dogfight with Cerberus troops early on, he hadn’t had time to really put the Kodiak’s guns through their paces. When that tower had gone down it was thing of beauty. The cannons had performed better than spec thanks to a few tweaks he’d made during his off hours. She may not have been a Trident, but damn if she didn’t pack one helluva punch.

A few minutes later, after collecting the Commander, he really wished he’d installed a silencer on that gun turret. Why he’d ever let her install the bloody thing was beyond him – a moment of weakness, he supposed – Shepard was hard to say ‘no’ to. Now his ears were going to be ringing for a week. Note to self, buy noise-cancelling headgear. But hey, the mission was a success, mostly. He’d hated leaving the quarian civilians to their doom. It wasn’t his call, and he was glad of it, though he likely wouldn’t sleep well tonight.

It seemed the shuttle was going to need extensive repairs again. At the very least it’d keep his mind occupied for a good few hours. But he’d promised Shepard he’d stop working himself half to death. It was early enough that Steve wondered if the poker game was still going on. He could use the diversion and some mildly distracting company, though he’d probably give drinks a miss this time.

To his dismay, he found James sacked out in the lower bunk watching a vid on his omnitool when they returned. Steve did not want to know what it was. He’d investigated once, and immediately regretted it.

“We’ll debrief in the morning, 0800. Grab some rack time, I think we’ve all earned it,” Shepard said stifling a yawn.

“Good night, Commander, Garrus, Tali.” He wandered back over to the makeshift living space he and James had set up. “I’m surprised you’re not trying to fleece the major out of his hard-earned credits.”

“I offered, but he claims he has a headache. Figure I’ll try again tomorrow. You in?”

“You know it. And James, Kaidan gets migraines. That’s a lot worse than ‘just a headache’. Robert used to get them when he was over-stressed. They knocked him on his ass for days sometimes.” He hauled himself onto the top bunk, and removed his flak vest, content to fall asleep in his fatigues tonight.

“Hey, hey, I didn’t mean to make light of it. Just seemed awfully convenient is all.” He paused, “So it’s Kaidan now is it?”

He turned out the lights in the hangar bay, “You’re reading more into it than you need to.”

“Yeah, yeah. All I’m saying is maybe the Major’ll be more willing to give up his creds with a pretty face around.”

“You’re all heart, Mr. Vega.”

“Who said I was talking about you?”

“Well, I’m sure you weren’t talking about you. And I don’t think Garrus is his type.”

He put a hand dramatically against his chest, “Esteban, I am wounded. Deeply.”

“Sweet dreams, James.”

*****

The migraine, it turned out, was one of the mild (for Kaidan) variety this time. A lot of weird visual nonsense, some nausea, and a bit of pain, but nothing the meds couldn’t handle. He’d retired to the relative quiet of the starboard obs lounge with a sleep mask, and grabbed a few hours rest on the chaise in the corner.

Kaidan’s stomach woke him in at 0400, as usual. He was bleary-eyed and slightly off-balance as he made his way to the mess, only to find he wasn’t only one awake at this ungodly hour. She sat slouched at one of the tables, dressed in fatigue pants and a hoodie. A pile of datapads sat untouched to her right.

“Hey, Shepard. Can’t sleep either, eh?”

“What was your first clue?” she snapped. “Sorry, sleep and I don’t get on well these days.” She absently stirred a cup of what passed for coffee.

“Drinking stimulants at four in the morning doesn’t help either, you know.”

“Yes, mom. Figured I’d get an early start.” She tapped the pile of datapads. “I didn’t want to wake up Sam, so I figured I’d work down here for a bit. It’s peaceful.”

“So, you and Traynor, hunh?” Kaidan took a clean(ish) plate from the cupboard and opened the fridge to inspect snack possibilities. He settled on of the cherry cobbler he’d made the other night, and heaped the remainder onto his plate.

“Yup. It just kind of happened. And if life as we know it is coming to an end, the regs can go fuck themselves. So, Major, I take it we’re speaking again.”

“Didn’t know we’d stopped.” He shovelled another forkful into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully.

“You made it perfectly clear on the flight back yesterday.”

“I just didn’t trust myself not to blow up again. Or blow a hole in Legion. I’m not mad at you Lyss. I just hope this doesn’t come back to bite you in the ass, is all.”

“Me too. Hey, where did you get cherry cobbler?”

“Made it. Got bored the other night. Cortez procured a bunch of fresh produce with that last shipment. Figured I should use these up before they went bad. Want some?” She nodded enthusiastically, so he got her a fork.

“Didn’t know you baked, Alenko,” she said around a mouthful cherries, “This is actually good.”

“I am a man of many talents,” he smirked back at her. “So, are we okay? Still friends?”

“Yeah, still friends,” she sighed.

He put a hand on her shoulder, “Good, now take some friendly advice. Dump the ‘coffee’, put away the datapads, and go snuggle your girlfriend for a few hours -- even if you don't sleep.”

“Kaidan?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve missed this. Just shooting the breeze with you. I think I’ll take that advice.”

“I’ve missed it too,” Kaidan replied. “And just so we’re clear, and in light of the fact that you’re sleeping with your comms specialist: what is your current stance of crew fraternization?”

“Oh, just bloody ask the man out, Alenko. Life’s too short for regrets.” She shoved him on the shoulder before getting up.

Kaidan beamed a smile at her. “G’night, Alyssa.” He didn’t know what had changed her mind in the last couple of days, but he was willing to go with it. But first there was cobbler to finish, and sleep to be had.

Chapter Text

It seemed the whole crew was on a battle high. Shepard had taken down a Reaper on foot. If he hadn’t seen it go down with his own eyes even he wouldn’t have believed it. And for once they’d completed a mission without the Kodiak getting shot up in the process, which meant Cortez would actually have everything squared away at a reasonable hour this time.

James had informed him of the rescheduled poker game, but he’d given it a miss in favour of rechecking the small arms again. Okay, so maybe Shepard was right, he was a workaholic. Maybe he could still get in on the game. Today had been a huge victory and he knew he should savour it while he could. There might not be many of those left.

He stepped off the elevator and nearly ran straight into the Commander.

“Hey Cortez, if you’re looking for a card game, you’re too late. Vega already mopped the floor with Kaidan. He’s still in there probably pouring himself a drink or three.”

“That was quick.”

She shrugged, “I thought so too. Never seen anyone beat Alenko that soundly before.”

Steve could have sworn she sounded happy about it. Those two had a weird friendship, he thought. Might as well go console the man on his losses.

When he entered the lounge, James was gathering up his winnings and Kaidan was kneeling on the couch, looking out the window. “Later, Major. Thanks for the walkin’ around money,” James laughed as he left the room.

“Yeah, yeah,” he sighed. The door swished shut behind Vega, “Dear god, I thought he’d never leave. Hey Steve. Sorry you missed the game.”

“Sounds like I missed a good thrashing. You okay.”

Kaidan turned about on the sofa, leaning back against an arm. “What? Oh yeah, that. I’m fine. Don’t tell him I let him win.” He patted the cushion with a foot.

“Wait, what? Shepard told me he cleaned you out.” Cortez sat down beside him.

A conspiratorial smile crossed Kaidan’s face. “Meh, I let him get away with a couple grand in creds. Nothing I’m gonna miss, and I can make it back from him easily enough. His tells are terrible. I think even Joker could beat him – with little coaching, of course.”

Steve leaned back on the couch and raised a brow at the man, “What do you mean, ‘nothing you’d miss’?”

“Family inheritance, a few good investments, some questionable casino dealings when I was younger. Nothing illegal, mind you, just a good head for numbers.”

“You mean card counting.”

“It’s not cheating, it’s just math. Alliance doesn’t exactly pay much, and while being a Spectre has it’s perks, I don’t exactly get a weekly paycheque for it.”

“And here I was coming to console you,” he huffed a laugh. “Looks like James is the one I should feel sorry for. Why were you in such a rush to get rid of him?”

“Honestly? I kind of wanted to get you alone.”

“Oh, really? And why is that?”

Kaidan took the opportunity to stretch his legs down the couch, and across Cortez’ lap. And, damn, the Major had fantastic legs. Keep it in your pants, Steve.

“Since we’re headed back to the Citadel for some R&R, I thought maybe you might like to spend some time together, just the two of us.” He rubbed the back of his head nervously, “Y’know maybe catch a vid, grab dinner, or a coffee, or just go for a walk or whatever? Sorry, I’m really out of practice with this.” His eyes darted about settling on just about everything in the room except Steve.

“Kaidan,” he placed a hand on his leg, “are you asking me on a date?”

Kaidan’s shy smile nearly melted him, “That depends. Are you saying, yes? Cuz, if not, we can just pretend I didn’t say anything and this conversation never happened and... I’m babbling aren’t I?”

“Just a bit. It’s cute. And yes, I’m saying ‘yes.’”

Kaidan scooched himself down the couch cushions, knees now arched over Steve’s legs, one arm hanging over the back. “Really?”

“Yes, really. Major Kaidan Alenko, I would love to go on a date with you.” He hooked two fingers into Kaidan’s flak vest and pulled him in for a kiss. Kaidan gave a surprised mrrp, as they bumped noses, eventually settling on tilting his head to the right. He tasted like whiskey, and smelled like cocoa butter with a trace of ozone. Steve regretted that his lips were a little chapped, but then again, neither of them had expected to be making out on a couch in the obs lounge, and Kaidan really didn’t seem to notice anyway – or if he did he was either too distracted to care or too polite to say anything.

Kaidan was the one who eventually broke the kiss. He blinked a few times, “Damn, that was... unexpected.” He cringed at his own words. “Sorry, I’m just... it’s been a long time, and I’m kinda bad the whole dating thing.”

“Hey, man, I haven’t gone on a date in almost eight years. This is weird for me too.”

“Oh geez, Steve. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to --” Cortez pinched his lips together.

“You’re babbling again. Look, Robert and I were together for eight years, married for seven. He hated dating too, and I’m pretty sure it’s one of the many reasons he proposed in the first place. I guess what I’m trying to say is, this is new for both of us. So we take it slow and figure it out as we go.”

Kaidan chuckled, “He’s a poet and doesn’t know it.”

Steve rolled his eyes, “Dad jokes? Really, Kaidan?”

“Uh-huh,” he smiled, “get used to it.” He put on his mock ‘very serious’ face, “I definitely think you need to kiss me again. At the very least it’ll shut me up.”

“I think that can be arranged.”

***

This was the third shirt he’d put on in the last fifteen minutes. Getting dressed for a date should not be this hard. The first one had been too tight around the collar and the shoulder seam had busted when he moved. He’d sweat through the second one within minutes – had his nerves always been this bad? After a quick wash and an application of the really good antiperspirant, he’d finally settled on the brown, button-down shirt, just a shade lighter than his eyes, and a pair of black slacks that clung in all the right places (or so the saleswoman had said). The only shoes he had with him were his well-worn, but freshly polished, combat boots – he’d just have to be careful not to clomp when he walked.

They’d agreed to meet outside the restaurant at 15:00, a late lunch, or maybe it was an early dinner (when you eat meals five or six times a day, these things lose their meaning). The Armali Ristorante served Italian-Asari fusion cuisine, and had amazing reviews. It was upscale enough to require reservations, but not so upscale that it required formal attire, which was good because Kaidan’s only suit was in a townhouse several dozen light-years from here.

Steve waved at him from the line as he exited the taxi stand. He was wearing dark jeans and a soft sweater in light steel blue. Kaidan greeted him with a peck on the cheek, “You look nice.”

“You clean up pretty well yourself.”

“Took me three tries.”

Steve chortled, “Only three? It took me half an hour to decide on this outfit, and I don’t have that many clothes.”

“What’s with the line-up? I didn’t think there’d be this many people waiting for food in the middle of the afternoon.”

“I’m not sure. I got here a little while ago and the line hasn’t moved.”

Kaidan made a small disgruntled sound, “I’ll go see what the hold-up is.”

“Hurry back,” Steve said, thoroughly enjoying the view as his date walked up to the front of the line.

When Kaidan reached the doors to the restaurant the problem became immediately apparent. The very flustered asari hostess was trying to explain to two very large, obstinate, and possibly inebriated young men in Alliance fatigues why they couldn’t get in without a reservation. “I am sorry. There just aren’t any free tables. We are fully booked,” she repeated. “Please, just go.”

At just over six-foot tall, Kaidan Alenko was by no means a short man. However, the two marines blocking the entrance towered over him. “Gentlemen, the nice lady asked you to leave. I suggest you do so.”

“Nuh-uh,” grunted one of men, “Cap’n said this place had the best food she ever tasted, an’ we wanna try it.”

He pulled up the facial recog program on his omnitool (a fun little Spectre perk he hadn’t played with yet) “Then, Sergeant Parsons, go make a reservation like everyone else here.”

“But we’re hungry now,” the other one whined.

Kaidan stood up to full height and glared at the man, “Gunnery Chief Antonelli, you can either take your friend and leave now, or I can report this little incident to Captain...” oh, this was rich, “Shepard. I’m sure she’d find this less than amusing.” He’d met Hannah Shepard once in his career, at Alyssa’s memorial service. She hadn’t struck him as a woman who took her command lightly. “There’s a great noodle place down that way.”

“Who the hell are you to tell us what to do?” a belligerent Parsons retorted.

“Someone who knows your Captain, serves with her daughter, and outranks you by a mile.”

Antonelli whispered something in his ear. “Shit. Really?” to his compatriot, whose eyes immediately bugged out. Kaidan continued staring down the two marines. “Sorry, sir.”

“Don’t apologize to me. Apologize to the nice lady whose time you wasted, then march your asses out of here, get some noodles, and sleep it off. Am I understood, marines?”

“Sir, Yes sir.” Parsons and Antonelli turned to the hostess, “Sorry ma’am. We’ll be going now.”

There was a smattering of applause from the line. The hostess looked visibly relieved as the pair walked off. “Thank you for that. I thought they’d never take the hint.” Her face shifted seamlessly back to her usual hostess mask, “I presume you have a reservation.” She raised a brow ridge at him.

“Yes. Alenko. For two at 15:00h.”

“Very good. If you’ll just follow me.” Kaidan felt a hand on his back and kiss on his left cheek. “I presume he’s with you?” He nodded then followed the hostess, Selani, she informed him, to a small booth at the back of the restaurant. They sat facing one another as there wasn’t quite room enough to sit side-by-side comfortably.

A few minutes later a young, dark haired human woman came over with a pitcher full of water for the table. “May I get you drinks to start?”

Kaidan perused the drink menu, and pointed to a wine selection. “That one. We’ll take the bottle.”

She looked down her nose at him, “Are you certain, sir? That’s a very expensive bottle. Are you sure you wouldn’t just like a glass?”

“Oh, I’m absolutely certain, miss.”

Steve poured out two glasses of water before glancing at the man across from him, “Well, that was a bit rude, don’t you think?”

“Maybe a little. The wine doesn’t cost that much, but the mark-up is atrocious.”

“I meant you. You could have asked me first instead of choosing for me.”

The colour drained from Kaidan’s face, and he looked down, unable to meet Steve’s gaze. “I’m sorry, Steve. You’re right. It’s just... I saw the words on the menu and... well, you’ll see.”

The sommelier came to the table with a towel draped across their arm and a bottle in hand, which they then presented for Kaidan’s approval. He nodded toward Steve, who looked at the label, then back at Kaidan, who smiled and shrugged. A bottle of 2178 Valois-Alenko Private Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon. Cortez shook his head and chuckled. “Perfect. Thanks.” The sommelier uncorked the bottle and poured a splash of wine in a pair of wide-mouthed glasses and again looked at the two men. “Just pour the wine, please. If it doesn’t taste right, I’ll let you know.”

“Care to explain?”

Kaidan took a long, slow drink of the cherry red liquid – it had aged remarkably well, he thought. “My dad’s family owns an orchard in the Okanagan Valley. My parents expanded it to include a vineyard about fifteen years ago. This was the first truly excellent vintage they produced. Small batch, hand picked, fermented in French and Hungarian oak barrels. It was labelled and corked by yours truly. Micah helped mom design the label,” he beamed.

“I’m guessing she was really into nursery rhymes?” The label featured a stylized cow jumping over a moon. He downed the entirety of the glass in one go, “Not bad,” he declared.

“Well, she was only six at the time. But very self-assured. If you look very closely, there’s a dish and spoon in silhouette in the corner.” He smiled remembering his daughter and mother hunched over the kitchen table, deep in conversation, surrounded by art supplies. It had been the first year visiting the orchard without Sid there. Just he and Mikey against the world.

A hand on his brought him back to reality. “Kaidan, do you wanna get out of here? We may not know each other terribly well yet, but this...” he gestured around the room, “doesn’t seem like your kind of place. We can always take the bottle with us.”

“Yeah, you’re right. It’s my parents’ kinda place. I’m craving noodles now anyway.”

The server picked that moment to arrive back at the table, “So have we decided what we’d like this evening.” Her saccharine tone made Kaidan want to throw up a little.

Steve didn’t miss a beat, “We’d like the cheque, please.”

“Very good, s...” her tone changed so abruptly it gave him whiplash, “What?”

“The cheque, if you please. And we’ll be taking the wine.” He gave her an award-winning smile.

“But...but you haven’t even eaten.”

“Nor do we intend to now or at any time in the future.” Ouch, was Kaidan’s only thought.

She grumbled as she pulled up the bill for the wine, Kaidan flipped her the credits due, no tip, and the pair left without another word.

As soon as they were out the door Kaidan doubled over laughing. “Flight Lieutenant Steven Cortez, that was harsh! Remind me to stay on your good side.”

Steve shot him a bemused look, “They could have at least offered to comp an appetizer after what you did for them earlier.” He held up the bottle of cab sauv. “What are we going to with this?”

“Wine’s open, gotta drink it.” He snatched the wine from Cortez, took a swig, then handed it back. “It really is damn good wine.”

Steve followed suit, “I’ll take your word on that. I’ve never been one for fermented grape juice.”

Before he could stop himself Kaidan heard his mother voice coming out of his own mouth, “It’s an acquired taste.” He stopped short throwing his arms in the air, “Help me, Steve. I’m becoming my parents!”

Cortez threw an arm around his shoulders, “C’mon, let’s get you some noodles and you can tell me why that’s such a bad thing. Their son seems like he turned out alright.”

Chapter Text

The Noodle Hut had ended up being Steve’s treat. After all, Kaidan had graciously (or maybe not-so-graciously) provided the alcohol. They’d both eaten more than their fill, and Steve was still mystified as to where Kaidan put it all.

*urrrrrrrrp* “Ugh, ‘scuse me,” Kaidan said turning beet red.

“You know, there are some cultures that consider that a compliment,” Cortez replied.

Kaidan turned to look him in the eye, “How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

"Always find the bright side to everything.”

“Huh, do I?”

“Yup,” Kaidan boops him on the nose, “it’s kinda freaky.”

“What can I say? It’s my super power,” Steve smirked. “Some of us can throw 400 lb crates with our minds, some of us are afflicted with Raging Optimism^TM.”

Kaidan paused his hand over the interface for the taxi stand, “Hey, you have any plans for the rest of the afternoon?”

“I just need to supervise the resupply at 17:00, but other than that I’m as free as the dust on the solar winds.” Kaidan snorted a laugh at the vid reference. “Blame Tali, she got me hooked. The resupply shouldn’t take more than half an hour, 45 minutes tops. Why? What did you have in mind?”

“I was going to suggest hitting up the arcade, but now I’m thinking we watch Fleet & Flotilla. I could be convinced to cook you dinner – something a little lighter than ramen?”

“Or we could do all three. Make a night of it?” suggested Cortez.

Kaidan shuffled a bit looking down at his feet, “I... ummm... yeah, sure. Sounds good.”

“That didn’t sound very convincing, Kaidan.”

“Didn’t it? Sorry, I mean. It does sound like fun, but...”

“But?”

“I don’t know quite how to put this. Ummm... what exactly are your expectations for... later?”

“Kaidan, I expect to have an enjoyable time with someone I like. Whatever that might end up looking like at the end of the night. You don’t owe me anything.”

“I know, I know. I’ve had a lot of first dates who don’t share that opinion. And not a lot of second dates, period. Look, I’d rather not have this discussion around throngs of people. Can we pick this up later?” He called up an automated skycar. “I’ve got a small apartment just off the Presidium. I’ll text you the address. Come by say 18:30ish?”

“That sounds fantastic.”

The smile Kaidan gave him nearly knocked him off his feet. He practically fell into the waiting taxi.

“No second dates, hunh?” Cortez said as he righted himself in the seat. He gave him a wink, “Clearly they had no idea what they were missing.”

“I’ve always thought so,” he grinned. “You take this ride. We’re going in opposite directions.” Kaidan leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

Steve chuckled to himself as the skycar door clicked shut. The man was a mess of contradictions: strong and still vulnerable, egotistical and still selfless, angry and still lighthearted when he wanted to be. He wasn’t the hardass the marine detail complained about, nor was he the ‘nice guy’ front that he showed the rest of the world. Complex but not complicated, and Steve Cortez was looking forward to getting to know every facet of him.

*****

The apartment wasn’t much more than a place to drop his gear and put his feet up between Spectre assignments. The Council had tried to insist that he take a larger set of rooms, but he’d pointed out that it would be wasted on him if he was nearly never there. And, in his humble opinion, larger suites were better put to use as refugee housing. As such, the space was largely undecorated, the closet was mostly empty, and (until half an hour ago) so was the fridge.

The place had a bedroom with an en suite bathroom, a small living room, and a decent kitchen/dining area. He’d only had it a couple of weeks before the Cerberus coup attempt, and after that shit-show he hadn’t felt the need to stick around. Now he was feeling a little self-conscious about the lack of personal touches; no art on the walls, no framed holos on the table, not even a house plant. The furniture was the same boring, utilitarian stuff that came with the place. The only luxury he’d afforded himself was a large vid screen on the wall facing the couch. It didn’t exactly scream ‘home’.

He wondered to himself exactly why it was that he’d invited Cortez over for dinner in his remarkably spartan living space. Hell, he’d had to add plates, glassware, and cutlery to his grocery order, just so they’d both have something to eat off of. That was if Steve even stuck around long enough for him to cook dinner.

This was always a bit of tricky conversation with a potential partner. In his experience it had often ended up being a deal-breaker for both of them. He barely dared to hope that Steve would be different, but he’d still mentally prepared himself for crushing disappointment.

‘Don’t break his heart.’

“Here’s hoping,” he mused aloud.

The house VI replied with, “Please restate the inquiry,” nearly causing him a heart attack. He’d almost forgotten the damned thing was even there.

“Never mind. Just play something upbeat. Filters for Earth, late 20^th century, metal. Volume at 40%. I’m feeling anxious. Limit further interactions to direct commands only.”

“Very good Major Alenko. Please note that there is someone at the entrance.”

Shit, he was early... no, right on time. Because of course he was. Kaidan had meant to change out of the red t-shirt and blue lounge pants he’d put on mere minutes after arriving. He hadn’t even bothered to put on socks. Well, too late now.

He checked the door camera to confirm Cortez’ presence before letting the door slide open.

“Hey,” Steve stood there in same outfit he’d had on this afternoon. “Now I feel over-dressed.”

Kaidan fiddled with his amp port nervously. “Heh, yeah. Sorry, I’d meant to change before you got here. The time sorta got away from me.”

“Are you going to invite me in or shall I just stand awkwardly in the hallway staring at you? I mean, I have no problem with that, but the neighbours might think I’m creepy.”

“Sorry, please, come in. You can take your shoes off if you want. I was just about to start dinner.”

“Kaidan, you don’t have to apologize all the time.” Steve toes off his shoes and sets them beside the door next to Kaidan’s combat boots. “You look a helluva lot more comfortable than you did earlier. Mind if I lose the sweater?”

“Yes, I mean no, I don’t mind. You can just throw it on the couch if you want.” The sight of Steve Cortez in jeans and a black Alliance t-shirt was wreaking havoc on Kaidan’s equilibrium. Damn, the man had nice arms. “Kaidan, you okay?”

“Hm? Oh, fine. Just admiring the view.”

“Flatterer. And thanks.”

“Can I get you anything to drink? I’m afraid the cupboards are a little under-stocked, but there’s beer, water, and a couple kinds of juice.”

“I think I’ve had my fill of alcohol for awhile. Juice sounds good. As long as it isn’t orange” Kaidan’s eyes went wide in panic. Allergies hadn’t even occurred to him. “I’m not allergic or anything, just not a fan.” It was like the man read his mind.

“Would you like a quick tour?”

“Sure, lead the way.”

“Well, we’re standing in the living room. You can see the kitchen off to the right. Bedroom is at the end of the very short hall. If you need to use the washroom it’s through the bedroom door and to your left.”

“Your tour guiding skills leave a little something to be desired.”

“I told you it was going to be quick,” Kaidan said with a wry smile. “And I rarely ever lie. Now let me grab you that juice.” He walked into the kitchen and emerged a minute later with two tall glasses of something red and fruity. “I promise it isn’t wine this time.” He gestured at Steve to take a seat on the couch, before settling down beside him.

“So... there was something you wanted to talk about earlier?”

Kaidan took a long drink, savouring the taste. He focused his attention on the glass, then at a random scuff mark on the floor, before he felt a hand settle gently on his shoulder.

“Kaid, the juice isn’t that interesting.” Kaidan’s gaze shifted to the set of beautiful baby blues beside him. “Talk to me.”

The biotic took another swig of liquid before setting the glass down on the wooden coffee table in front of them. He cleared his throat before finally gaining the courage to speak. “Steve, I think you’re incredibly attractive.” He was pretty sure his voice had just jumped half an octave.

“You know the feeling’s mutual, right?”

Kaidan shivered as Cortez’s hand grazed his cheek. He wasn’t making this any easier. Might as well just blurt it out and hope for the best. “I’ve never been particularly interested in sex.” Steve looked a little stunned. “I mean, I’ve had sex. I enjoy it. It’s just... never been a huge deal for me.”

“Okay,” was all he said.

Kaidan blinked a few times, trying hard to process the word. “Okay?” It wasn’t a response he’d ever gotten before.

Steve’s hand cupped his cheek, “Yeah. You’re demi, right?” Kaidan nodded. “Look, I like you, Kaidan. A lot. I haven’t been with anyone since I lost Robert, and I’m not exactly in a rush for things to get physical. Something tells me you’re worth waiting for.” He leaned his forehead against Kaidan’s.

Kaidan smiled meekly, “Thanks.”

“For what?”

“For not thinking I’m weird.”

“Oh, you’re definitely weird, but it has nothing to do with sexual preferences.”

“You say that now...” Kaidan grinned and waggled his eyebrows. He stood up from the couch and offered Cortez his hand. He pulled him up with a little more oomph than necessary, with the desired result of the shuttle pilot being pressed up against his chest. He slid one hand against the small of Steve’s back, the other he placed behind his head as he pulled him in for a deep kiss.

“You’re not going to make this easy on me, are you?” Cortez said as he reluctantly pulled away.

“Hey, I just thought we’d both enjoy that. And I’ve been wanting to kiss you properly since this afternoon. Did I cross a line?”

“No, just after what you told me, it was... unexpected.” Steve smirked.

Kaidan laughed as his own words from yesterday were echoed back at him. “Fair point. Just to clarify, physical intimacy is something I enjoy. Touching, kissing, holding hands, cuddling, that sort of stuff. I just find emotional intimacy way sexier.” He pauses briefly before continuing, “Do you cook?”

Cortez looked a little bewildered at the apparent non-sequitur, “Ummm... yes? After I got married it was either learn to cook, subsist on MREs, or starve. Robert was many things, a brilliant botanist, a whiz with tech, an amazing storyteller, but the man could burn water.”

Kaidan snickered at that. “Good, I need a sous-chef. We’re making tacos.” He once again grabbed Steve’s hand and yanked him into the kitchen. “From scratch.”

“Uh... okay. Just please tell me this has nothing to do with my last name. My dad’s family is from Spain, and I grew up in Detroit.”

Kaidan looked horrified, “What? Oh god, no. I didn’t mean... I just really like tacos.”

“Relax, man. I’m just messing with you. Love a good taco. Flour or corn tortillas?”

“Flour. Cornmeal seems harder to come by right now. All the ingredients should be in the cupboard beside the stove.” Cortez located the flour, baking powder, salt, and shortening, and set them out.

“You know, Vega of all people, taught me how to make them, back when we were both stationed on Fehl Prime. Bowl?”

“Above the sink,” Kaidan replied. “You know, I briefly thought you two were a couple.”

Cortez set the bowl on the counter before doubling over with laughter. “You thought... James... and I...” he wheezed, before once again breaking out in a fit of giggles.

“Hey, I said ‘briefly.’ Didn’t take me long to figure out he flirts with everyone. Do I need to break out a paper bag before you hyperventilate? Or can we get on with the cooking?” Kaidan narrowed one eye at Steve.

“Okay. I’m good, I’m good. I’ll do the tortillas and the cheese, you handle the meat and veggies. Sound good?”

Kaidan grabs a knife and begins cubing a tomato at frightening speed. “Perfect. But if you want guacamole, you’re out of luck. Avocados are impossible to find.”

“Give me some advanced notice next time, and I can probably find them for you. I know a guy.”

“Of course you do, sweetie.” He made short work of a bell pepper, before bisecting a lime in one shot.

“Kaidan, your knife skills are a little terrifying.”

“I worked in a diner to help pay my way through school. The owner insisted we do everything the old-fashioned way. After a couple months it becomes second nature.”

“You know we could have ordered in. There’s a fantastic Tex-Mex place down in Zakera Ward that delivers.”

Kaidan placed the knife on the cutting board and turned to face Cortez, who was busily mixing up dough. “That’s not the point.”

“And what is the point?”

“Getting to know each other better. Working together toward a common goal. Figuring out how well we mesh. Finding a rhythm” Kaidan wiped a dusting off Steve’s shoulder. “Besides, food always tastes better when you make it yourself.”

“Not to mention both impressing and low-key threatening your boyfriend.”

“That too.” Again with the mischievous grin. “Wait. Did you say ‘boyfriend’?”

“That, I did. If that’s okay with you?” Cortez leaned over and gave him a peck on the cheek – the best he could manage with dough-covered hands.

Kaidan blushed to the tips of his ears, “I think I can deal with it.”

Chapter Text

“You giving up yet, Cortez?” Kaidan chided at him. He dropped another 20 creds into the slot on the front of the machine, determined to wipe the smug look off the other man’s face once and for all.

Steve rubbed his hands together, cracked his knuckles, then shook out his fingers. “Never,” he retorted. “Just getting warmed up.”

“Mm-hmm, that’s 7 random music tracks and an ‘I Heart the Citadel’ coffee mug. So, Mr. I’m An Expert At The Claw Game, still not willing to admit defeat.”

“I’ve... almost... got it!! Hah!” He tosses the large orange & blue varren stuffie at Kaidan. “I’m keeping the mug.”

“Fair enough,” Kaidan squeezes the toy to his chest causing it to bark, “Y’know, you stick your tongue out whenever you’re concentrating really hard. It’s adorable. This has been fun.”

“But?”

“But, what? It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to just chill out and have fun. In case you haven’t noticed, there’s a war on, and honestly, I’m not so sure we’re going to win this one. In the last two months I’ve narrowly escaped a full-on Reaper attack, been beaten within an inch of my life, and nearly shot by my best friend. My marine detail bitch about early morning PT & adhering to regs, I haven’t heard from my family, and I can’t seem to go more than 48 hours without a killer migraine. An enemy I fought for almost three years is now an ally. So, fun has definitely been lacking in my life.”

“You said, has been fun. As in past tense.”

“There are a lot of flashing lights and loud noises in here. If we stay any longer I’m going to be absolutely useless in about an hour. And I believe there was talk about watching vids.” Kaidan made his way down the stairs and out the door leading to the Silversun Strip, tugging Cortez behind him.

The cab ride back to the apartment block was snuggly, but uneventful. This whole business of sitting down and not actually accomplishing anything useful was a bit anathema to Steve, but with Kaidan around he was starting to see the appeal. The guy was right, the last couple of months (heck, years) had been stressful as fuck. They deserved this, if only for a little while.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Sure about what?” There he goes again, answering a question with a question.

“About inviting me back to your place.”

Kaidan deftly places the plush varren on top of his head, “What? Not sure you can control yourself around all this?” he gives a flourish of his hands before sashaying down the hall.

Steve snorts a laugh, “I think I can manage. Now can you please take the stuffed animal off your head?”

“Mmmmm... no! I like my new hat.”

“Kaidan, that is not--”

“Uh-uh-uh, it sits on my head, therefore it is a hat.” As he reaches the door, Kaidan doffs the plushie with a graceful bow, ushering Steve into the apartment.

“You are a gloriously weird human being.”

“Thanks.” His smile is positively electric. “So, popcorn? Chips? Or both?”

They look at each other, nod and reply in unison, “Both!”

***

Before starting up the vid, Steve had made an off-hand remark about wanting something more comfortable to wear than jeans. So Kaidan had called up the concierge service used by this apartment block with a request and appropriate measurements. Ten minutes later a package arrived at the door via a mildly annoyed looking turian courier. He tipped the woman decently, then tossed the parcel to Cortez.

Steve began carefully unwrapping the box, “You know, I could have just grabbed something from the ship.”

“The Normandy is docked on the other side of the station. This was faster. Besides, you were kind enough to win me my new chapeau. It’s the least I could do to make you comf--” he looks over at the contents of the box now open on Steve’s lap, “oh, honey, I am so, so sorry. Those look really, ummm... cozy?” The PJs are pink with large red hearts, and made of the fluffiest fabric Kaidan had ever seen. “Maybe I should have been a tad more specific,” he says apologetically.

“And now we know.” He hasn’t laughed this often in over a year, “Tell you what, I’ll wear the pants, but I’m keeping my shirt. Deal?”

Kaidan can’t help but grin, “Deal.”

Cortez slips into the bedroom to change, emerging triumphantly in the drawstring pants minutes later. They were slightly too long, and nowhere near figure-flattering, but they seem comfy enough. “Now let’s get this party started.” He flops down onto the couch next to Kaidan, who has already changed back into his outfit from earlier.

Kaidan cues up Fleet & Flotilla on the over-sized vid screen, then lowers the lights. Ten minutes into the movie and he’s already snoring lightly, having tipped over onto Steve’s very fluffy lap. A sensation of something rubbing his arm, his pillow moving underneath his head... wait... not a pillow. “Oh crap! I fell asleep, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you did. Look, if you didn’t want to watch it you could have just said so.”

Shit. He sounds pissed. Kaidan rolls onto his back and looks up at an irritated Cortez. “Steve, I did. I do. It’s just... the room was dark, the dialogue was... familiar, you were doing that thing with your fingers on my leg, and... Steve I haven’t been this relaxed around someone else in ages. Honestly, this is kind of miraculous.”

The look on Steve’s face is skeptical, “How so?”

“Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to trust people? During my time at Brain Camp it was drilled into our heads that sleep was for the weak. When you’re asleep you’re vulnerable. It’s a lesson both Siddha and I learned. Even when it was just the two of us back on Earth, we slept in shifts, especially after we had Micah. Basic didn’t make it any easier. Biotics were treated more like weapons than people. And the couple of times I did trust someone there, I got burned for it. So this, me falling asleep on your lap, is fucking incredible.”

“Back up a minute. Brain Camp??”

“Right, you wouldn’t know about that. Nickname for the Biotic Acclimation and Temperance Training program the Alliance ran out of Jump Zero twenty years ago. Long, depressing story short: kids got hurt, someone died, program got turfed and swept under the rug. A tale for another time. Right now, I’d rather watch vids and snuggle.”

“Fair enough. So, does that mean you want me to stay?”

“Well, snuggling does work better with two. So, yeah, I’d very much like you to stay... if you want to. But I’ve seen this blasted vid like a dozen times. I’ve got it nearly memorized, thanks to our favourite quarian engineer – she’s really persuasive.” Steve hummed in agreement. “How ‘bout we watch something a little more engaging.”

“Your feelings on really bad horror films? And I mean reeeeally terrible. Mid-to-late 20^th century, you can see the strings, and the director threw the plot out the window two pages in, sort of vids.”

Kaidan grins, “I think we’re going to need more popcorn.” He hops up off the couch and walks into the kitchen.

“Agreed.” Steve thinks for a moment, “What thing was I doing with my fingers?” He gets up and follows Kaidan toward the next room, stopping to recline against the door frame.

“Hm?” Kaidan rummages through the cupboard for another packet of Insta-pop.

“Before you fell asleep you said I was doing ‘that thing with your fingers.’” He mindlessly drums said fingers against the wall.

Kaidan throws the popcorn in the microwave and hits the start button. “Oh, right. You were tracing nonsense patterns on my outer thigh. It was oddly relaxing.”

“Sorry, I didn’t even realize I was doing anything. I mean, it wasn’t too much was it?”

“What, touching? I’m a big boy, Steve. If I’d wanted you to stop, I would’ve told you. Long as you stick to back, arms, and shoulders, we’re good. Outside of the leg is fine too. And I really like having my hair played with.”

“Face?”

“Kind of thought that was a given after all the time we’ve spent making out,” Kaidan winks at him. “Just keep on your hands on top of my clothing. Oh, and please avoid my amp port.”

Steve’s eyes widen at the last sentence, “Jeez, I hadn’t even thought of that.”

“It’s not a big deal if you do brush against it, it's just a bit sensitive. I tend to keep it covered in synth-skin anyway, but...” he removes the popcorn from the oven and dumps it into a bowl, “you might get zapped a little if it’s uncovered. And then I’d have to disinfect... whole big production.”

“Duly noted,” he says snagging the bowl off the counter and shoving a handful of popcorn into his face. “James recommended Manos: The Hands of Fate. Reputedly the worst movie humans have ever made. You game, jarhead?”

“I’m ready if you are, flyboy.”

“He who falls asleep first makes breakfast. I like my eggs over easy, and my bacon crispy.”

Chapter Text

Alyssa Shepard’s laugh rang out across the Presidium causing heads to turn toward the table at Apollo’s Café, where she and Kaidan were enjoying a leisurely lunch. A ‘sanity check’ he’d called it. “I can’t believe you made him serve you breakfast.”

“Hey, he knew the stakes. He fell asleep smack in the middle of the vid. I mean granted it was the third abysmal movie we’d watched, but, come on, Nazis at the Center of The Earth is a classic!” Kaidan said before taking a healthy bite out of his steak sandwich. (It was best not to think about what kind of steak it was.) The batarian shard wine turned out to be decent once he’d gotten past the fact that it was light blue – a little sharper than Earth wine, with a mellow finish.

“Totally!” she agreed.

“I would’ve let him off the hook if he’d finished out the vid. I had to wake him up just to get him into bed.”

Shepard nearly spit out her fruit juice, “Major Kaidan Alenko, I, for one, am shocked! On your first date! Scandalous!” she grinned at him.

He levelled a stare at her worthy of the woman herself, “We shared a bed Lyss. You remember beds, right? Flat, soft, semi-bouncy things that people sleep on. It was two in the morning, I wasn’t going to send the man clear across the Citadel to go bunk in the cargo bay with James, when I had a perfectly nice double bed in the next room. It is possible for two grown adults to sleep in the same bed without having sex.”

She offered him a sly grin, “Yeah, but what fun is that?”

A wistful look overtook Kaidan’s face, “More than you’d expect. He’s an excellent cuddler.”

“I’ll let him know you said so. We’re meeting for drinks in Purgatory a little later. Care to join us?”

“Nope. Thanks for the invite, but I wouldn’t want to cramp your style. Besides, I dodged a bullet with the arcade yesterday. I’m not tempting fate twice in less than 24 hours. I’ve been having more than my usual number of migraines lately.”

“Should I be worried, Kay?” She’d used the diminutive; he couldn’t remember the last time she’d done that. Years, most likely. Probably that night before landing on Ilos when the two of them had stayed up talking until the wee hours in her cabin. Half the crew were convinced they’d been fooling around.

“I’m okay, Alyssa. I’m taking my meds, and the doc says nothing’s changed with either my brain or my implant. Just stress. Which...” he raised his glass in a toast, “is why we’re here. Here’s to having a few normal moments in the middle of all the chaos.”

She clinked her glass against his, “Hear, hear! And to good friends who keep us sane... ish!”

“Salut, mon amie!”

****

Truth be told, Steve hadn’t really expected the Commander to actually show up in Purgatory’s upper bar that afternoon. He’d been more than content standing at the bar and watching the show. It’s not that he didn’t love dancing, there was something about losing himself in the sounds and rhythms of a nightclub that spoke to a place deep in his soul, but he preferred having a partner to share it with.

He absently wondered if Kaidan liked to dance, or whether he avoided clubs like this altogether. Maybe he might like something a little quieter, fewer ‘flashing lights and loud noises.’ He made a mental note to ask next time he saw the man.

“Earth to Cortez, you in there?” Shepard pulled him out of his thoughts in her usual effusive manner. He still found it hard to equate the bouncy, energetic woman standing beside him with the no-nonsense, battle-hardened career soldier he saw on the Normandy.

“Shepard! Glad you could make it. Buy you a drink?”

“Drinks are on me, Lieutenant. I hear you’re keeping my XO out of trouble.”

“Yes ma’am,” he grinned.

“What are you having?”

“So far? Just water. I’ll have whatever you’re having.... so long as it isn’t ryncol.”

“Lightweight,” she winked before turning to the bartender and holding up two fingers. The turian nodded and poured something purple into a pair of glasses. Clearly the Commander had a ‘usual’ here.

She clinked their glasses together, “Here’s to new beginnings.”

“I’ll drink to that,” he said downing the drink in one go. “Is that... grape juice?”

“Yep, straight up. I quit drinking booze like a year ago. So far no else has noticed.”

Steve couldn’t help but laugh. The crew had regaled him with tales of the Commander’s legendary alcohol tolerance. “I won’t tell them if you don’t.”

“Deal. Another round?”

“As long as your buying,” he smirked.

“This doesn’t seem like your kind of place, Lieutenant.”

“You don’t have to get all hot and bothered to appreciate graceful dancing. There’s an energy to all of it.... aaaand some of the eye candy out there isn’t bad either.”

“Careful Cortez, wouldn’t want to make your boyfriend jealous,” she said half-jokingly.

“I look, Shepard, but I don’t touch. Besides, he’s prettier than anyone else in here.”

“I’m hurt, Cortez.”

“Well, we can’t have that, can we ma’am. Care to dance.”

“Lead the way.”

She may not have been the best dance partner he’d ever had (or the most graceful), but in his opinion she more than made up for it with her enthusiasm. And really, what more could he have asked for. It was nice to see her letting her hair down for once. Yeah, it had definitely been a good day.

Chapter Text

Nothing about the hunt for Leviathan had been easy, but it was beginning to look like their final destination in the search was going to be their final destination, period. It had taken Shepard weeks of careful research, and close calls on several planets (including one literally swarming with Reaper Harvesters), to end up on an ocean planet in a system so backwoods it only had a number.

Welcome, Steven Cortez, to 2181-Despoina. You’re probably going to die here. He tries to physically shake the intrusive thought from his head. No, you got Shepard, Garrus, and Kaidan onto this godforsaken planet, you will damn well figure out how to get them off of it.

He ran a quick diagnostic of the engine: no apparent damage. Everything was in working order, except that it wasn’t working. The pulse had knocked them out of the sky without frying the electronics or any other major systems. Flight controls had been partially online during the crash allowing him to manoeuvre the shuttle onto the deck ship with minimal damage. If he could just figure out a way to jump-start the eezo core, they might just make it off this ball of water in one piece. He wished Shepard would’ve left him an extra set of hands, Garrus seemed to know a thing or two about tech, and Kaidan knew his way around an engine – either one would be valuable help right now.

Jump-start! That was it. There was an onboard emergency defibrillator. The idea was crude, but it might be enough juice to get the engines restarted – if it hadn’t been fried by the pulse too. This could work if he could find a way to regulate the power output without overloading the shuttle’s systems.

Gunfire erupted outside, along with the now all-too-familiar bone-chilling dirge of a Reaper Destroyer. Cortez felt his heart drop into the pit of his stomach. Work faster, Cortez. They can take care of themselves, but you’re a sitting duck. Gotta get this bird in the air.

This was probably going to be a trick that only worked once. He worked furiously for what seemed an eternity, but in reality was only a few minutes. After three tries and a lot of swearing, the Kodiak’s engine finally turned over. Apparently just in time too. The ground team was being overwhelmed by husks, marauders, and even a couple of brutes. He got the shuttle airborne and hovered near the port side of the ship picking off some of the larger enemies on Shepard’s flank. It was going well for a bit, but before he could start to enjoy his victory over the shuttle’s engines, another pulse ripped through the Kodiak sending it spiralling onto the deck. They weren’t going to be flying away from this one without divine intervention.

Cortez felt more than heard the weapons’ fire hit the shuttle. “Commander, I’ve got enemy contact. Under fire!” At least the damned comms were still working. He grabbed the M8 Avenger from its locker next to the pilot’s seat. Might as well go make himself useful. The Kodiak’s guns might be nerfed, but at least handheld weapons still seemed to be working (for now).

He secured the door and grabbed cover behind a bulkhead. He even managed to get off a few clean shots before Shepard vaulted onto the wall with Garrus and Kaidan close behind. “Status,” she said sharply.

“Shuttle’s a mess Commander. That pulse knocked it right out of the sky. We’re not going anywhere.”

“The Normandy could extract us,” Garrus suggested, rather unhelpfully. Seriously had they not been paying attention.

“Same thing would happen to her... and the landing wouldn’t be as pretty. I’d say Leviathan has some sort of defence system in place.” No sooner had he finished the thought then the destroyer dropped another couple of husks on their heads. Kaidan picked them both off in quick succession before ducking back behind the wall. The man was an impressive shot, even without his biotics. Keep your head in the game, Cortez. You can express your gratitude later. In private. Though he could have sworn the Major had flashed him a smile.

Shepard had a thought about bringing the fight to Leviathan itself. The Triton mechs seem to be the only viable solution. Leviathan, whatever it, (they?) may be, is underwater. At least 4 klicks under if the readings from the probe were to be believed. At least this was a human ship, Ballard class by the looks of it. They could definitely jury-rig the door with power cells from the shuttle. He let Shepard in on the plan, much to the obvious disbelief of their squadmates. They’d both seen her pull off crazier moves before, so he wasn’t sure why they were surprised. Of course, this all still hinged on one of the mechs being in working order. After five years being exposed to the elements, it was a long-shot.

One by one he stripped spare power cells from the Kodiak. No sooner had he handed her the first one than Reapers started raining down on the deck. She hesitated briefly before sprinting across the deck.

Kaidan hurled a cannibal into the air, “Go, Shepard. We got this. Get the doors open. We’ll cover your six.” Garrus picked it off with a clean headshot.

By the time the Commander had the doors open, they were necks-deep in brutes, and barely holding them off. “Sweet! Weapons are still operational. Bring it!” Was all they heard over comms before Shepard almost gleefully took out more than a dozen assorted reaper minions with the mech’s flare cannon – and stomped on a few more just for good measure. “I’m beginning to like this thing.” At least she was getting some joy out of this mission.

“When you’re done squashing reapers, bring it over here so I can do a systems’ check.” She’d schooled her face well before opening the canopy, but Cortez was sure he’d caught the barest hint of a grin. He went to work scanning the mech for signs of wear and tear. Aside from some minor scrapes and dents, the Triton was in good working order.

“Are you sure you want to go through with this, Shepard?” the turian sniper asked with evident concern.

“We’ve come too far to stop now. The way home is through Leviathan,” she replied.

“Okay, seals check out. Oxygen pressure is nominal. Systems are a go,” Cortez announced. “It’s as ready as I can make it.”

There was a determined set to her features, more for the sake of her team than herself, he’d wager. “Let’s go.”

“Good luck down there, Commander,” Cortez said, hoping those words to her wouldn’t be his last.

“Closing hatch.” The mech’s pressure seals engaged with an audible hiss. “Commencing dive in 3...2...1....” And with that she dropped over the side of the ship into the abyss.

****

Kaidan wasn’t generally given to prayer, but since they’d boarded the shuttle for Despoina that morning he’d done a lot of it. A prayer for their safety as the shuttle hurtled toward the endless ocean. A prayer for the ground team as they faced an onslaught from a Sovereign-class reaper. A prayer for Steve as the shuttle hit the ship’s deck a second time, his stomach lurching a little. A prayer for Shepard as she dove into the water in a worn out mech. And yet another when she re-emerged half-dead an eternity later. He hadn’t been to church since he was a kid, but given the outcome, he thought maybe he should give it another shot... if they survived long enough for that to even be an option. His mother would be thrilled.

He’d been sitting in the starboard obs lounge not writing his mission report for the last two... no, three hours. He still wasn’t sure how to word it. He’d been trying. Getting a few sentences down, then erasing the whole thing to begin anew. No matter how many times he tried, it came out sounding like something out a spaceport pulp fiction novel. How do you tell the your superiors that the only reason you made it out alive was thanks to your opponents being mind-whammied by the descendants of billion-year-old space gods? Not even Shepard’s vaunted templates covered that one.

Kaidan set the datapad off to the side and picked up the book he’d left there over a week ago. He’d come back to the report later.... maybe. Shepard was resting comfortably in her cabin, last he’d checked. And after giving Traynor the rest of her shift off, he was pretty certain the Commander was being well taken care of.

After reading the same sentence over again six times, Kaidan resigned himself to the fact that his brain had ceased to function in any reasonable manner. Crew quarters were a little too full for a decent nap, he’d already eaten, already showered (and taken matters into his own hand, so to speak). He’d done the requisite post-mission medical check-up (psych evals had mostly gone by the wayside as no one on board was qualified to perform them). He was officially off-duty until the debrief in morning, provided Lyss was up to it. Standard protocol when missions went sideways – or, where Shepard was concerned, just standard protocol.

James had offered himself up as a sparring partner a couple of times. Maybe slugging it out for a couple of rounds with Vega might clear his head. That Steve was also likely in the immediate vicinity wouldn’t hurt either. Speaking of which, he hadn’t seen the lieutenant in the mess earlier. Kaidan suspected he was the type to get so caught up in a task he’d forget to eat. Since he was going to the shuttle bay anyway, might as well bring Cortez a tray of food, after all it was the polite thing to do, and totally not an excuse to finagle a little alone time with his boyfriend.

He and Steve hadn’t seen a lot of each other since departing the Citadel ten days ago. The mission came first, they’d both agreed on that; keep it professional, don’t compromise command. They’d also both agreed that they were consenting adults and the fraternization regs could go fuck themselves. However, both had shared (and very narrow) accommodations, so sharing a bunk had been out of the question. They’d managed a few stolen moments here and there: sitting together with legs touching in the mess, holding hands on an elevator ride, an all-too-brief kiss before boarding the Kodiak that morning. He licked his lips remembering the taste – coffee, and bubblegum toothpaste. Nightly text messages were fun, and remarkably informative, but they were a poor substitute for personal contact.

After a quick detour to the mess to fill a tray with leftovers, and a quick elevator ride, Kaidan arrived in the Normandy’s hangar bay. He zigzagged around a pair of marine guards, returning their salutes, then avoided the wandering FENRIS mech (which Vega had affectionately nicknamed Sparky), all while balancing the tray in one hand. He stopped a dozen feet behind Steve Cortez who was, despite being off-duty, still clearly fiddling with the inertial dampeners.

Kaidan put on his ‘super serious’ face, “Lieutenant, do I have to write you up for insubordination?”

Steve spun on his heel and saluted out of reflex, “Major Alenko, sir, I...”

“Steve, you’re off the clock. Repairs can wait until tomorrow. We have a spare shuttle, we don’t have a spare you. Come on, I brought you food. Adams drew KP today, so some of it might even be edible.”

“I just need to finish--”

“Do I have to make this an order, Cortez? You engaged in active combat with Reapers. You discharged your weapon during said combat therefore under Alliance regs, you were officially a part of Shepard’s ground team. You’re off until the mission debrief tomorrow morning.” Kaidan put his free hand on his hip, “Arm’s getting tired here. Could you please put the spanner down and take this tray off my hands?”

“Esteban, listen to the man. You haven’t eaten since you got back. Major did some fancy footwork to get you that grub. Impressive, by the way, Major,” Vega called from across the bay.

“I waited tables to help pay my way through university.” Cortez took the tray off his hands and set it down on a spare weapons’ crate.

“Got yourself a college boy, eh, Cortez?”

“So it would appear, Mr. Vega,” Steve grinned at Kaidan, and patted the unoccupied end of the crate. “Have a seat.”

Kaidan obliged him for the moment, “Masters in Linguistics, if you’re curious. I wanted to use my brain for something other than hurting people.” Steve made an impressed noise as he munched thoughtfully on a green bean. “Part of my thesis work was helping refine the code for the universal translator.”

Steve stabbed at the meatloaf with his fork, “Why join the Alliance then?”

“They pay better than grad school. And employers get anxious when they find out you’re a biotic. Alliance is one of the few places where we’re welcomed with open arms. I was single and had a kid to take care of. Family housing is waaaay better than living in the barracks with 30 other guys.”

“That’s nice.” He was only half listening, and only really picking at his food.

Kaidan put a hand on his shoulder, “Walk with me?” he asked as he headed back toward the elevator.

The Engineering under-deck was a bit of a design anomaly. No one was really certain what purpose it was supposed to have served, but mostly it went unused. The crew seemed to go there when they needed a place to be alone (often in pairs, Kaidan suspected). But lacking an actual office of his own, this would have to suit his purposes.

“Out with it, Lieutenant.”

“Out with what, Major?” Steve snapped back at him. So that’s how it was going to be.

“Whatever it is that’s been eating at you since we got back.”

“Is that an order, sir?”

“Don’t take that tone with me, Lieutenant. You haven’t eaten, you’re being surly, and you disobeyed Shepard’s direct order not to start shuttle repairs. This isn’t like you. Now spill it.”

“Is this an official inquiry?”

“Cortez, like it or not I’m still the ship’s XO. Making sure the crew is fit for duty is part of my job description. If you’re not prepared to talk about what’s bugging you, I will take you off the duty roster. I can’t have you flying if you aren’t at 100%. Are we clear?”

“Crystal, sir,” Cortez bit off in reply.

“Lieutenant, have you ever engaged in actual ground combat before? Sims don’t count.”

“No, sir.” The deference to rank was technically appropriate, but it rankled all the same. “That isn’t the problem, at least not the whole of it.”

“Then what is?”

Steve slumped against the wall, “How do you deal with it?”

“With what?”

“Knowing that those things used to be people. Krogans, batarians, turians... humans. They were all people once, with lives, friends, families. And then the Reapers just show up one day and turn them against their own people, into monsters. It’s grotesque.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Kaidan, I was pretty damned sure I was going to die down there. I know it’s the job, it’s just, I’ve never been in the thick of it before. When the Collectors hit, I was miles away from home, from Robert. There was nothing I could have done to save him.” So that was it, Kaidan thought. “But today? I was there, with you, in the middle of fight, and if it had come down to it, I’m don’t think I could have saved you either.”

“Probably not with a gun, no. But without your mechanical expertise we wouldn’t have stood a snowball’s chance in Hell. We all have our strengths. And believe it or not, Lieutenant, you held your own just fine in a fire fight. I’m a marine, I’ve led spec ops teams, and I’m a Council Spectre: those things still scare the living crap out of me.”

“How do you even sleep at night?”

“Poorly.”

“Anyone ever tell you you’re terrible at reassurance.”

“I’m not going to sugarcoat it, Cortez. That shit is nightmare fuel. You deal with what’s in front of you in the moment. If you think about it too hard you freeze. You freeze, people die, simple as that.”

“Then what?”

“Then this. You find someone to talk to. We all have our coping mechanisms. James works out. Shepard hits the shooting range. Tali drinks and watches romance vids. Garrus, like you, throws himself into his work.”

“You throw cargo containers at the wall.”

Kaidan chuckled, “You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?”

“Not even a little.” At least there was the hint of a smile.

“You know, usually I just go for a run, or hit the gym. It helps in the short-term, but eventually you have to talk to someone. If you don’t deal with the emotional stuff it’s easy for coping mechanisms to turn into addictions. So, are we done here? Can I officially be off-duty now?”

“I guess so, sir.”

“You can stow the ‘sirs’, Steve.” Kaidan sat down on a low ledge. He rested his elbows on his knees, his face in his hands, “Fuck, that sucked. I’m sorry I had to pull rank.”

Steve pushed off the wall and sat down beside him. “No, you’re not, but it’s not like I left you much choice. You saw me shutting down, so you poked ‘til I opened up. It didn’t feel great but I get why you did it.”

“Like I said, it’s the job. In my position, ‘off duty’ is a relative term.” Kaidan sighed heavily and dropped his head between his knees. Steve gently rubbed his back. “Can I spend of the rest of the day being ‘boyfriend Kaidan’ and not ‘Major Alenko,’ please?” He sat up looking at Steve with puppy-dog eyes.

“God, yes. He’s much better company.”

“I’ll try not to be offended by that.”

“The Major is a good guy and all. Amazing at his job. Hot as hell in combat gear. And is apparently a dead shot. But he is a bit of a hardass. Kaidan, on the other hand, is funny, adventurous, smarter than he gives himself credit for, and is still hot as hell – even without the armour and wearing stuffed animals as hats.”

“The thought that I might lose you today nearly made me hurl. I never want to feel that way again. Promise me I won’t. I know it’s a lie and I don’t care.”

“I promise you, Kaidan... uhhh, middle name?”

Kaidan’s voice dropped to a whisper, “Yannick.”

“Really?”

“Really. It’s a French-Canadian thing.”

“Alright then.” He lifted Kaidan’s chin and looked him squarely in the eyes, “I promise you Kaidan Yannick Alenko, that so long as I have any say in it, you will never, ever lose me. Now can I have my embarrassing emotional breakdown? Because I really need you to wrap your arms around me so I can ugly-cry on your shoulder.”

Kaidan’s lips twisted into a half-smile, “Okay, but you have to stand up. This metal is digging into my ass. If I sit here much longer there might be a permanent dent.” He stood, offering Cortez his hand. He gathered the pilot to his chest and held him close, not minding at all the growing damp spot on his shoulder. “It’ll be okay, love,” he whispered. “I promise.”

Chapter Text

Kaidan slid silently off the top bunk. It was 0200h. He didn’t even have to check anymore. His brain had been waking him up at the same damned time every night for two weeks now. He’d also learned that there was no point in trying to get back to sleep, it just wasn’t going to happen. So he pulled on a t-shirt and a pair of uniform pants from his footlocker before padding his way to the mess in his socked feet.

Usually the place was all but deserted at this hour, but tonight he spotted a lone figure hunched over a table in the dark. Liara startled as their biotic fields intersected, nearly knocking her mug of cold tea onto the floor. “Oh!”

“Sorry, I wasn’t expecting anyone else to be here.”

“Nor was I. I could not sleep. I thought perhaps some of your chamomile tea might help.”

He glanced at the full mug, “It only works if you actually drink it.” He knew better than to ask how she was. They had just left Thessia in ruins the day before. “Mind if I join you?”

She nodded, “Please, I could use the company. Being alone with my thoughts has been... trying.” For the first time since rejoining the crew Kaidan saw hints of the naive, curious and shy young asari scientist they’d rescued off of Therum three years ago. Knowing it was their fault that she’d changed so much in that relatively short time broke his heart. “What brings you here at this late hour?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“So I surmised,” she said offering him a wry smile.

“I’ve never really slept much. For the past couple weeks I’ve been sleeping less. Tonight I woke up with a craving for cheesecake.”

She tilted her head and looked at him quizzically, “What is a cheese cake?”

“Cheesecake is probably humanity’s single greatest contribution to galactic cuisine. And you, Dr. Liara T’Soni...” he stood and proffered her his hand, “...are going to help me bake one.” He pulled Liara to her feet and grinned.

She skidded to a stop, “Kaidan, wait!”

“What is it? What’s wrong?” he asked legitimately concerned by the panic in her voice.

“I...” purple flushed her cheeks, “I am not a very good cook.”

“’S’okay, you don’t need to be,” he smiled. “It’s just... I really need the distraction, and this is much more fun with a helper. Think of it as social anthropology. Learning about a culture through it’s food ways. Specifically, the concepts of ‘dessert first’ and midnight snacking.”

“Alright,” she said warily, “but if we burn down the mess hall, I’m blaming you.”

“Meh. It’s why we have fire suppression systems. Now, I should still have all the ingredients provided no one’s pilfered the cream cheese I bought last time we were on station.” The stasis field kicked off as he opened the cold storage unit. “Right, we’ll start with the crust.” He removed a bag of almond flour, margarine (sadly, there was no butter), several packages of cream cheese, 3 eggs and a lemon, and set everything on the counter. “Liara, can you find me salt, sugar, wheat flour, and vanilla extract, please? They should all be in the cupboard under the island... on the right, I think.”

There were a lot of hmmms and ummms as she perused the selection of jars and canisters under the counter. She emerged triumphantly several minutes later. No vanilla, but, he assured her, the almond extract would work just as well.

The galley did not boast a wide assortment of pots and pans, they would make do with a large, rectangular baking pan. “Okay, so that’s all the ingredients we’ll need. This first bit’s super easy. Promise.” Kaidan knew he was being overly cheery, but he wanted to occupy Liara with something other than her own thoughts. Cooking always helped him relax, and he hoped sharing that experience would similarly help his friend. He dug a couple of aprons out from one of the drawers and tossed one in the asari’s direction, “Here, put this on. If done right, baking gets a bit messy.”

As promised they started with the crust. A simple mixture of melted margarine, almond flour and sugar. Kaidan measured the ingredients, getting Liara to mix everything together then pat it into the bottom and sides of the parchment-lined pan. They chatted about nothing in particular as they worked. Kaidan set the pan to bake in the preheated oven.

“There, that wasn’t so tough, eh, Liara?” he clapped her on the shoulder.

She smiled weakly, “Well, I suppose we have not set anything ablaze. And it does smell good.”

“In the old days, it used to take hours to make one of these. My father used to one them from scratch for my birthday every year. It was his...” *sniff* “specialty...” Tears welled up in Kaidan’s eyes. “Shit, sorry, Liara. I...”

Liara wrapped her arms around him, “Do not apologize, my friend. We’ve all lost more than our fair share of loved ones to this war.”

He stood with his head on her shoulder, her hand rubbing his back as he gave up fighting back the tears. They both jumped when the oven timer buzzed. He sniffled, then looked up with puffy eyes. “We should probably get that.” Thank goodness for automatic shut-offs.

He pulled the hot pan out of the oven and set it aside.

“Now for the hard part.”

“Kaidan, we do not have to continue, if it is too distressing.”

“I appreciate the thought, doc, but I’m okay. With everything that’s been going on, I haven’t really taken the time to mourn him. Hell, he might even still be out there for all I know. I’m more worried about you. I read Shepard’s report. Can’t even begin to imagine what it was like for you.” He began mindlessly cubing cream cheese into a large bowl. He knew the recipe by rote. It was passed down from father to son (or daughter), a tradition he was looking forward to continuing with Micah.

“Much the same as it was for yourself, I would imagine, but with the added knowledge that my people have been lying to the entire galaxy for millennia. It is...a great deal to process. Perhaps if we had admitted our deception earlier millions of lives would have been spared.” It was a heavy burden for her to carry; it was more knowledge than even the Shadow Broker should have to carry.

“Maybe. Or maybe it wouldn’t have changed anything. Maybe the war would have come sooner. We can’t know, and there’s no sense trying to second-guess decisions that were made lifetimes ago.” He cracked an egg into the mixture.

“You are right, but it does not make it any easier to live with.” Kaidan handed her the electric mixer. She turned the machine on the highest setting; the mixture batter splattered a streak of white goop across Kaidan’s apron, before she switched it off with a yelp. “Oh, Kaidan. I am so, so sorry. I’ve ruined it haven’t I?”

“It’s fine, we didn’t need that bit anyways,” he chuckled. “Guess I should have given you operating instructions. And here I thought the Shadow Broker would’ve had information on how to run kitchen appliances.” He snagged a bit of batter off her nose, “Needs more almond extract.”

She giggled. “I have obviously neglected a critical part of my duties.”

It had been far too long since he’d heard Liara laugh. It was the most wonderful sound he’d heard all day. “Here, hold it upright. Start on the lowest setting and work your way up slowly. Remember, turn the bowl not the mixer. If too much sticks to the sides, turn it off and scrape down the sides with a spatula. Got it?”

“Yes. I think so.”

He added the remaining ingredients as she went, sugar, the remaining eggs, and just a bit of flour to keep it from cracking. At this rate he might make a decent baker out of her yet. “Ladies and gentlemen, I do believe we have filling!” Kaidan declared a few minutes later.

She looked puzzled, “Kaidan are you all right? There is no one else here.”

“I’m being dramatic, Dr. T’Soni,” he said as he picked up the bowl and scraped the batter onto the prebaked crust. “Now we put this back in the oven, and it should be done by the time we’ve finished cleaning up this mess.” He surveyed the damaged: not too bad, all things considered. A bunch of dirty dishes, a few splatters of batter and dustings of flour, some containers to be put away, and some compostables for the recycler. Nothing a little elbow grease couldn’t accomplish. “I wash, you dry?”

“Or we could put it all in the dishwasher and be done with it.”

“Well, when you put it that way...” After all this was meant to be a distraction for the both of them, with a reward at the end, not a chore.

Twenty minutes later the kitchen was (mostly) spotless. The oven buzzed and turned itself off. Somehow, in the intervening time the mess had become much more populated with crew both on-duty and off. Even Shepard had roused herself from her bed. He suspected EDI might be to blame for the crowd.

“You vultures can wait until they cool,” he chastised as he removed the hot pan from the oven, placing it on the counter to finish setting. The population of the mess collectively grumbled. “Shoo!” he said waving three specialists, two marines, and Shepard out of the kitchen.

Liara smiled at him, “It seems this cheesecake of yours is good for morale.”

He cut Liara a slice from the pan, sticking it in with the frozen food for a minute, before handing it to her. “Well? What do you think?”

“I think I know several asari chefs who would kill for this recipe. It is wonderful. Thank you for sharing this with me, my friend.”

“Thanks for being my lovely assistant. And for keeping me company.”

“Might I have another piece?”

“I won’t tell if you don’t.” He frowned at the pan, “Next time, remind me to double the recipe.”

Chapter Text

*be-be-beep* *be-be-beep*

Kaidan raised his face off the pillow, “You have got to be kidding me,” he grumbled, resulting in a round of shushing from the surrounding bunks. He glared at his wrist where the incoming message indicator blinked green – low priority. He ignored it and planted his face back into the lumpy excuse for a pillow.

*be-be-beep* *be-be-beep*

Fuuuuck! Who the hell was bugging him at... (he checked the wall chronometer) ... 03:09? At least he’d slept past 02:00 for the first time in weeks. He rolled over and pressed the interface on his arm. “Whoever this is, you had better be on fire.”

Steve’s voice came in a low whisper from the omnitool, “Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Kaidan sighed, “Gimme five and meet me in starboard obs.” He rolled off the top bunk, rooted around in his footlocker for a clean shirt and gym shorts (much to the annoyance of his lower bunk mate), and slipped barefoot into the hall. He made quick use of the head, then splashed water on his face in a vain attempt to make himself look human. A hurried rinse and spit didn’t do much for his dragon breath, but it was better than nothing.

What the hell could Cortez need at zero-dark hundred? And why did he think Kaidan would even be awake?

The question he should have been pondering was: why does the observation lounge have a raised threshold? He swore and clutched at his throbbing toe as he entered the vacant room.

When the doors opened again a minute later, Lieutenant Steve Cortez found his erstwhile boyfriend sitting on the side of the chaise longue still rubbing his foot. “Kaidan, I am so sorry. You’re usually still awake. This could have waited until morning.” He turned back toward the door as if he might leave, changed his mind, then changed it again a few more times.

“If it could have waited, you wouldn’t have pinged me at ass-o’clock in the morning,” he stated matter-of-factly, “Now would you please come over here and sit down? You’re making me dizzy.”

Steve sat down beside him and deflated against his side.

“Are you gonna tell me what’s actually wrong, or do I have to guess? Because it’s really late – or is it early? and I suck at guessing.”

“This is going to sound stupid.”

“Just spill it, sweetie.”

“You know that mission Shepard had on Ontarom earlier?”

“Securing the communications array from Cerberus with civilian assistance? I read the report.” He gave Steve a squeeze, “Nice work, by the way, pulling Ms. Sato out of the line of fire.”

Cortez made an unconvincing attempt at a smile, “Thanks. Turns out Commander Shepard thought so too. Turns out, she put my name forward for a commendation. ‘Service above and beyond the call of duty.’”

“Congratulations. That’s great.” Steve sagged, tipping over into Kaidan’s lap. “That’s not great??” One hand skimmed lightly back and forth over Cortez’s arm while Kaidan waited for him to form an answer.

“I... I don’t even know.”

“Help me out here, Steve. ‘Cuz I am super confused.”

“It’s just... I mean... it wasn’t anything special. You know. It’s the job. I don’t think I deserve a medal for it.”

“Honey, you flew in under fire to rescue a single civilian from enemy fire. Not every shuttle pilot would do that. I love that you consider it ‘just part of the job,’ but not everyone sees it that way. I don’t. Shepard certainly doesn’t. And she basically wrote the book on going above and beyond. So, my dear, if Alyssa Shepard says you deserve special recognition for your actions, then you damn well better believe you deserve it.”

“When you put it like that, it seems like a silly thing to worry about.”

“Only you could make getting a commendation into an anxiety provoking event.” He picked up Steve’s hand and brought the back of it to his lips. “Now can your very confused, very tired boyfriend please go back to bed?”

Cortez reluctantly sat up, “Do you have to go? It’s getting hard to sleep alone.”

“Hey, at least you have James to keep you company.” The statement earned him hard, mirthless glare. “But I know the feeling.” Kaidan scooched back on the chaise and stretched his legs out, “Come ‘ere. Maybe we can make this work.”

Cortez toed off his boots, then snuggled into Kaidan’s side. They both shifted around until they found a comfortable equilibrium on the chair. “A little tight, but definitely cozy. I’ll try not to drool on you.”

“I think the chances of that are about as good as me not snoring,” Kaidan quipped as he turned down the lights. “G’night, sweetie.”

“Night, Kaidan,” Steve mumbled into his chest. “Love you too.”

Now it was Kaidan’s turn to lie awake in the dark.

***

Neither Kaidan nor Steve got the opportunity to contemplate the mini bombshell that had been dropped the night before. Shepard had called everyone into the war room for 07:00. They’d arrived in the Iera System overnight, and Joker had parked the Normandy behind one of the outer planets, hopefully out of the line of sight of any other ships in the vicinity, Cerberus or otherwise. Boots were on the ground by 08:00.

The initial drop had gone surprisingly smoothly, though Cortez was more than a bit leery when the supposedly bustling refugee centre appeared devoid of ships. That bit of calm had lasted all of a minute. Then everything had basically gone to hell, but at least the Reapers and Cerberus troops were shooting at each other and ignoring the Kodiak, and Shepard’s ground team.

Shepard had hit the ground with her ‘biotic powerhouse’ team. Watching Kaidan and Liara work together to create biotic mayhem, while Shepard methodically sniped her way through the battlefield was pure poetry in motion. The three of them were a well-oiled machine. Barely a word was spoken between them even before Shepard cut comms when they entered the main building. After that it was a waiting game for Cortez. There was nothing he could do to help them until the Commander radioed for extraction. He just had to stay out of sight until then.

It was nearly an hour before he got the call.

The ground team entered the shuttle in dead silence. They moved slowly, shoulders slumped, heads hung low avoiding eye-contact with the pilot and each other. Thessia had gone badly, but somehow, he knew, this had gone worse. The flight back couldn’t go fast enough. He’d opened his mouth once or twice, but one look at the team and the words had died on his lips. Whatever had happened down there, he wasn’t sure he wanted to find out.

The silence continued after they landed, everyone hitting the floor of the shuttle bay and going their separate ways. Except the Major. He had been sitting on one of the Kodiak’s jump-seats when Steve had left to do his post-mission exterior inspection. He was still sitting there twenty minutes later when Steve returned to do the interior checklist, armour still on, helmet between his feet, staring at nothing.

Cortez folded down the seat next to him, not daring to even touch him. “Kaidan,” he said softly, “I’m going to need my shuttle back.” He saw the man beside him take a deep, shuddering breath, then let it out slowly. It was like watching a human-sized balloon deflate. The hard-suit was probably the only thing holding him upright.

Another few minutes passed before Kaidan finally spoke, “Maybe the Reapers are right.” His voice was hollow, but the words were sincere.

“Right about what?”

“Maybe humanity doesn’t deserve to live.” What the hell had he seen down there? “How can anyone justify doing that to their own people?” Honey-brown eyes stared at him pleading for an answer he had no idea how to give. The mission to Sanctuary had rattled even the unshakable Commander Shepard. Whatever could do that was something to fear.

“Kaidan?”

“Husks, Steve. They were turning people into husks.” Steve’s blood turned cold in his veins. “Tens, maybe hundreds, of thousands of refugees came to Horizon, to Sanctuary, with the promise of being kept safe from this god-forsaken war, and a human ‘scientist’, one of their own used them as guinea pigs in his twisted experiments to figure out how to control the fucking Reapers. Men, women, children all of them dead or worse to satisfy some sick sonuvabitch’s curiosity. He preyed on their hope, their desperation, just to figure out how the enemy controls their troops. If a human is capable of that level of atrocity...” Steve wasn’t sure he wanted him to finish that thought.

Cortez looked at Kaidan, dumbfounded. He was an optimist by nature, always able to see the bright side of any situation. There was no bright side here, no silver lining. He wanted nothing more than to take the pain away from those eyes. Words failed him. What could he even say? So he didn’t try, he just placed his bare hand over Kaidan’s still gauntleted one, hoping it would mean something to the shaken marine.

“Steve, I haven’t heard anything from my family since before we left Earth. What if they went...? What if Cerberus...? I mean it was supposed to be safe.”

How was he supposed to answer that? From all the advertisements Sanctuary had seemed like a haven from the war. Of course, there was a chance. “Kaidan, you can’t go there. From what you’ve told me, Siddha sounds like a smart, resourceful woman. I’m sure she’s doing everything to keep Micah safe.” He hoped the words didn’t sound hollow.

There was a small sound akin to an agreement. “I should probably kit down, shouldn’t I? I’m getting in your way. You have work to do and I’m stopping you from doing it. I’ll go.”

Steve light caressed Kaidan’s cheek, “Sweetheart, you are not ‘in my way.’ Work can wait.” Just a month ago he was pretty sure he would never have spoken those three words; it was amazing how fast circumstances had changed. “Please don’t go. I don’t like the thought of you being alone right now.” And, truth be told, after what Kaidan had just told him, he didn’t want to be alone either.

“Still, I really ought to do get this armour off. Be easier if my hands would stop shaking. Might be low blood sugar, but I doubt it.”

“I can help, if that’s okay with you?”

The biotic nodded his head and released the seals on his gauntlets, letting them fall to the floor. “Thanks, I’d appreciate the assist.”

Steve had seen soldiers get into and out of combat armour for his whole career, but he’d never had to wear it himself. He knew the theory and the mechanics behind the technology – how the skinsuit fit together with the hard ablative ceramic plates, helmet, omnitool, kinetic barrier and a host of other interconnected pieces to protect the wearer from just about anything combat could throw at a person. The theory was solid, practice was a little trickier. He was quickly discovering that there was a very specific order to things, and he didn’t know it.

Together they had managed to extricate Kaidan from the top portion of his hardsuit, though Steve was feeling like more of a hindrance than a help at this point. “I can’t get this off,” he said tugging uselessly on the plates at Kaidan’s hips.

“Release points are on the back. In, then up. Though it’s a fuck-ton easier if you remove the utility belt first.”

Steve squared him with a look before unbuckling said belt, “You might have mentioned that earlier, instead of watching me struggle.” The plates on his hips clattered on the deck.

“Thought you might figure it out for yourself. Besides,” he said as trace of smile appeared, “I’m kind of enjoying having you get all handsy with me. It’s giving me ideas.”

“Not in my shuttle it’s not.”

“Really? You’re telling me you’ve never once thought about making out with me in here?”

“Uhhhhh... okay maybe not never...” he admitted. And it’s not like there were a lot of other places on this ship that offered any degree of privacy. More than once he’d wondered if the pilot’s seat could hold two full grown men. “But let’s get you out of that armour... and showered before we start discussing X-rated scenarios in the Kodiak.” He unhooked Kaidan’s boots and greaves, leaving him in just his skin-tight undersuit, which wasn’t helping cool his imagination at all.

“X-rated, eh? And here I was going for PG-13, maybe NC-17 at best. I’m shocked, Cortez, shocked I tell you.” (He obviously wasn’t.) Kaidan grabbed the spare towel from his onboard locker. “Care to help me with that shower?”

Steve’s cheeks turned crimson, “Tempting, Major Alenko, but I trust you can handle that on your own. I’ll meet you in the mess later... after you check in with Commander Shepard, and Dr. Chakwas. If we’re going to take things to the next level, I need to know it’s for the right reasons.”

“What makes you think I’m coming on to you for the wrong reason?” Kaidan placed a hand against the back of Steve’s head and shoved him against the lockers with a searing kiss; one that left them both breathless. “Because it feels like you want to as much as I do.”

Steve pressed a hand to Kaidan’s chest, “Kay, you just witnessed literal hell.”

“I’m painfully aware, Cortez. Today I saw the absolute worst humanity has to offer. I need to know the good parts still exist. I need to feel something that isn’t utter contempt for my own species. I need you.”

“And you have me. I meant what I said last night: I do love you, Kaidan Alenko. I’m yours for as long as you’ll have me, but we are not fooling around just to help you feel better for a little while. You’d just end up regretting it later.”

Kaidan released Cortez from the wall. “You love me?” he asked weakly.

“Yeah, I do. And whatever you need from me it’s yours.”

“Except sex in the shuttle?” Kaidan half-smiled at him.

“Except that, yes.” Cortez kissed him on the cheek. “Now get out of my shuttle.”

“Love you too.”

Chapter Text

He’d run the shower hot, almost to the point of scalding. It had helped with the usual muscle aches and tension, but it did little to help him feel clean. Sanctuary was going to be one mission that clung to his skin for a long time. There wasn’t enough soap and hot water in the galaxy to wash it away.

Kaidan slapped a palm against shower controls cutting off the water flow. He stood with his hands bracing against the wall, letting himself drip dry, while mustering up the courage for the next step in his day. “Might as well get this over with,” he muttered to himself as he pushed off the wall. He towelled off and threw on the white Alliance tee and black sweatpants he’d selected in lieu of his usual fatigues, then he unlocked the door.

Everyone, regardless of rank, had to submit to a post-mission medical exam. Kaidan’s just took a little longer than most of the crew, with the exception of Shepard whose cybernetic implants required additional monitoring. The L2 biotic implant in his brain was practically an antique compared to the latest L5s, and he knew even the slightest change in his metrics was cause for concern. Today he was more apprehensive than usual about the tests. Extreme emotional duress had been known to cause psychotic behaviours in L2s, and he was feeling damn close breaking right now.

“Major Alenko, I need you to relax. I can’t get an accurate reading with you moving around like that,” Dr. Chakwas chastised him. “Now, take a deep breath, and let it out slowly.” Kaidan reluctantly complied. “Once more. Breath in.... and out.” She took her readings before the worst of Kaidan’s white-coat syndrome took hold again.

“Well?” he asked after a few seconds of silence. Kaidan swore she got a kick out of making him uncomfortable.

“Nothing out the ordinary. Your implant is functioning within normal parameters. Your blood glucose is a bit low for my liking. And your stress hormones are bit high, but from what I heard from the Commander, they aren’t unreasonably so. I recommend lunch, and trying some of the meditation exercises I uploaded to your omnitool last time you were in. You’re officially released from my custody, Major.”

“Thanks, Doc.” Kaidan hopped down from the exam table. “Until next time,” he said giving her a sweeping bow on his way out the door. He did it just to see her smile, something that was happening less and less frequently.

“Kaidan, if you need to talk, I’m always here to listen.”

“Same,” he replied before letting the medbay doors slide shut behind him.

After what he’d seen that morning, the thought of food was entirely unappealing, but, for a biotic, low blood sugar could turn into a life-threatening condition in the blink of an eye, so lunch it was. Normally he’d try to get away with bio-juice and a concentrated protein bar, while he pored over his mission reports and crew requisition requests in the starboard lounge. Today, he felt the overwhelming need to be near people. Good people. The Normandy was family; a weird, dysfunctional, multi-species family, but family nonetheless.

The crew was still between shift changes, so the mess was pretty much deserted. Two of his marine detail vacated their seats as Kaidan entered – it was getting hard not to take it personally. He’d never had Shepard’s facility at making connections with his subordinates, but he’d thought he’d at least earned their respect by now.

“Something I said?” he muttered under his breath. He spotted an unusually quiet Specialist Traynor, alone at a corner table. “Mind if I join you?” he asked her.

“Hm? Oh, yeah, sure, I guess.” Sam tapped her fork against the edge of her lunch tray, “I think they’re a bit terrified of you, Major.”

“I’m getting that. Just wish I could figure out why.”

“You really don’t know, do you?”

“Know what?”

“How much power you wield. It’s not just the biotics, which, don’t get me wrong, are impressive. You outrank every Alliance soldier on this ship, Shepard included, and you’re a Council Spectre to boot, but you still act as Shepard’s subordinate – it’s more than a little confusing. They don’t know where they stand with you. Plus there are rumours you spaced a merc once.”

Kaidan rolled his eyes, “Pfft! He was wearing a spacesuit.” Obviously not the response she was expecting. He sighed heavily, “They saw me pull rank on her after Thessia.... Shit. Clearly it didn’t faze you.”

“No, because I know why you did it. We both know she would have pushed herself too far if you hadn’t ordered her off the bridge. You were just helping a friend – one who needs to be saved from herself sometimes.”

“Surprisingly often, actually,” Kaidan said with a knowing smile. “You really do love her, don’t you.”

Sam chewed her bottom lip, “Am I that obvious?”

“Only a little. If it makes you feel better, she feels the same way – but don’t tell her I said anything, she thinks she’s better at hiding her emotions than she really is.” Per usual his stomach took the worst possible moment to remind him of why he’d come into the mess in the first place. “Pardon me. It has a mind of its own some days.”

“You should do something about that before it develops sentience and goes hunting for food on its own.” Kaidan shot her a puzzled look. “And once again I’ve failed to get a laugh. Well done, Samantha.”

Despite himself, Kaidan snorted.

“You don’t have to mollycoddle me, Major,” she said with a note of self-disdain.

He smirked at the very British turn of phrase as he got up and walked toward the galley. “It was funny, Traynor,” he reassured her. “My brain’s just a little distracted right now.” He threw some questionable looking sausages and some pancakes onto a plate, and slathered them in that asari berry syrup that Liara had gotten Shepard hooked on three years ago. No need to heat anything, he’d eat it cold – it was just faster that way.

“I know the feeling. Did you know I grew up on Horizon?” The revelation caused Kaidan to nearly choke on a bite of sausage. “Sorry, my timing is awful today.”

Kaidan washed the offending food down with a swig of tepid coffee. “Traynor, I had no idea. I’m so sorry. Did you still have family there?” He winced. Shouldn’t have used the past tense. “Sorry. I mean do you...”

“It’s okay, Major. I knew what you meant. And yes, my parents and two of my cousins still live there. They’re on one of the smaller farming settlements on the other side of the continent. I was able to get a message through. Everyone is still alive – at least for now.” She gripped her mug so tightly Kaidan was convinced she was going to crush the thing. “If I get my hands on the Illusive Man I’m going to tear him a new one.”

“And I’ll happily throw a high-gravity field on him while you do it.”

Sam raised her coffee in a toast, “Deal,” she said as the mugs clonked together.

The two of them sat silently for a while longer; Kaidan polishing off his meal, per doctor’s orders, and Sam scrolling through the latest ship’s communications on her datapad.

“Major Alenko, please report to the cargo bay immediately, in combat gear. Your presence is urgently requested.” EDI cut out before he could respond. Traynor shrugged. So much for ‘off duty’.

******

Steve was impressed with EDI more and more each day. That she’d managed to even detect the small cargo freighter amongst all this debris and background radiation, let alone make contact with it, was bordering on the miraculous. The call had been a surprise; they hadn’t even left the Iera system when the Commander had ordered him to prep the Kodiak for departure. Even more of a surprise was seeing Kaidan in full armour getting off the elevator with Tali, James and a small engineering team.

Steve shot Kaidan a concerned look as they boarded the shuttle. “Major Alenko, I thought you had the rest of the day off.”

The Major sighed, “So did I, Lieutenant.” His voice had a rough edge to it, more so than usual. For the first time Steve found himself wondering if Shepard had made a bad call letting himhead this mission. It was supposedly a simple rescue: get in, help repair the damaged ship, see to their supply needs, go home. But nothing was ever simple these days. “No rest for the wicked, I guess. Shepard said they requested me personally.” He stood resting his arms on the back of the co-pilot’s chair, Steve was pretty sure it was holding the Major upright. “No idea why. Guess we’ll find out soon enough.”

“Have a seat, Major. Might as well take a load off while you can,” Cortez said. “Besides, you’re throwing off my balance.”

Kaidan grinned behind his visor, “Can’t have that, can we?” He dropped heavily into the co-pilot’s seat, armour plates clunking together. “Lieutenant, I know why I’m in full armour, but why are you? I thought you didn’t wear combat gear.”

He’d wondered how long it would take for the older man to notice the set of black, utilitarian light armour he was wearing.

“Shepard asked me to join the rescue team aboard ship. And, no offence, but you people get shot at a lot. So I’m not taking any chances this time.”

“Fair point,” Kaidan huffed out a laugh, then turned his attention to the rest of the team. “Alright, so here’s what we know. About 25 minutes ago EDI spotted an asari freighter, powered down, and in stationary orbit around Prospect. When we made contact, we were informed that they had sustained minor damage to their drive core, and don’t have enough fuel to leave the system. They were en route to Horizon when they heard Ms. Lawson’s emergency broadcast. Complement is six asari crew, plus 23 human refugees. They ran out of rations 36 hours ago.”

“Shit, that’s rough,” said James. “You fly all this way to get away from the Reapers, only to find out it’s a bunch of bullshit.” Tali nailed him with an elbow to a gap between his plates. “Ow! What was that for, Sparks?”

“You’re being insensitive,” she retorted.

“He’s not wrong, Tali,” Kaidan interjected before the argument could get out of hand. “These people are hungry, tired, scared, and angry. We don’t know how they’ll react. Be ready for anything on the other side of that airlock.”

Cortez interjected, “Docking in 4...3...2...seal confirmed. Waiting for docking tube to re-pressurize..... And we’re clear to board.” He stood up from his seat and grabbed a breather helmet from his locker. The Major rushed to stop him before he could put it on.

“Hold up, Lieutenant. Turn around.” Steve was puzzled but complied anyway. He could hear the biotic grumbling under his breath as he made adjustments to his suit. “Your O2 feeds were reversed. That could have been messy.”

The pilot gulped past the lump in his throat, “Yeah.... thanks. I owe you one.”

“Did none of you check his seals before we boarded?!” the Major lashed out at rest of the team. Everyone shifted uncomfortably in their seats. “For fuck’s sake, you’re trained better than this!”

Steve laid a hand on his pauldron, “It’s okay, Major Alenko. No harm, no foul.”

“It is most definitely not okay, Lieutenant Cortez. It’s basic safety protocol.” He squared his shoulders and let out a long breath. “We’ll deal with it later. For now, we have a mission to complete. Everyone knows their assignments. Let’s get this done.”

“Sir, yes sir!”

Kaidan returned a halfhearted salute to the Alliance personnel, then opened the hatch.

“Welcome to the Athame’s Rest,” an exhausted-looking, lavender-skinned asari greeted the team as they exited the decontamination chamber. “I am Iressa Amarin, ship’s medic and second in command. Please follow me.”

Already a more pleasant greeting than we usually get, thought Cortez. And, so far no one’s shot at us. He looked around for a piece of wood to knock on.

James nudged Cortez in the back, startling the flight lieutenant, “Earth to Esteban. Get your head in the game.”

“Sorry,” Steve mumbled following Kaidan and Tali toward the ship’s bridge, the engineering team bringing up the rear.

The ship’s first officer was giving the Major a run-down of the particulars of their situation, when out of practically nowhere someone flung themself bodily at him nearly knocking him over. “Dad!”

Chapter Text

Kaidan had been prepared for just about anything to greet them on the other side of the airlock: a Cerberus ambush, five dozen reaper husks, poison gas, explosions... Hell, even a rogue troupe of asari dancers. The last thing he’d ever expected was to be bowled over by a tall, curly-haired, almost-16-year-old.

He’d barely kept his balance, and had nearly instinctively thrown up a biotic barrier before he’d realized what had happened. All the same, it took his corona a few seconds to gutter out.

“Micah?” he exclaimed, still not quite believing the evidence right in front of him. She grinned at him – the eyes might have been his, but that smile she got from her mother, and right now it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. He threw his arms around his daughter and spun her in a circle. Last time he’d done that she’d been almost 12, and considerably shorter. “How?”

“We were in orbit when the machines hit the colony,” said a low, contralto voice with a slight Irish lilt to it. Siddha McEachern stepped into the room from a hallway and planted a wet kiss on the corner of his mouth – a small feat since his helmet visor was halfway down. Kaidan knew his skin was glowing bright red, and he didn’t damn well care. “Thanks for saving our asses, Danny boy.” Great, now the whole crew was going to be calling him that.

“Mom!”

Behind him he heard James clear his throat. Right. Mission, fix stuff, supplies, blah blah blah. He gave Micah another squeeze before peeling her off his armour. “Sorry, kidlet. We’ll catch up in a few. This ship isn’t going to fix itself.” He turned around just in time to see the smirk fade off Vega’s face as he stood almost painfully at attention. Kaidan rolled his eyes behind his visor before issuing orders.

They all went about their assigned tasks, as ordered, though Cortez seemed to have trouble looking him in the eyes. He was going to have some serious explaining to do later. For now he and James followed Sid and Mikey to the small, cramped cargo hold where they’d set up makeshift quarters for the Terra Novan refugees. The lieutenant handed out water and ration bars, while he tended to the sick and wounded.

Everyone had the same question for him: “Where are we supposed to go now?” And he still had no clue how to answer.

Specialist Traynor’s voice cut in over comms, ‘Major Alenko, the Commander is requesting a status report.’

“Tali informs me that drive core repairs are going smoothly, but the damage is extensive. They really overexerted the engines to get here. We should have them up and running in a couple of hours. Cortez has pretty much sorted the supply situation, so I’m sending a couple of patients back with him on his next run. One with a broken arm, and one who’s 34 weeks pregnant with twins.”

‘Wow! *ahem* I mean, I’ll inform Dr. Chakwas. Is there anything else?’

An idea clicks in his head. It might be a long-shot, but it’s the only one he’s had so far. Kaidan steps out of the cargo bay before asking the question. “Yeah, maybe. Traynor, you said you have family on Horizon?” He doesn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up prematurely.

‘I do,’ she replies.

“You think they might be willing to take in a couple dozen refugees? The ship was helping outfit a small asteroid mining operation. I’ll have the captain send over a manifest. The equipment might be of some use to them as well.”

‘I’ll make some calls. I can’t promise anything, but I’ll see what I can do.’

“You might want to ask Shepard for negotiating advice. She lives for this sort of thing.”

He can hear the smirk in her voice. ‘Aye, aye sir. Traynor out.’

“Let’s hope this works out,” the major thought aloud.

“Hope what works out, dad?” Kaidan nearly jumped out of his skin.

Kaidan pulled his daughter into a side hug. “You have your father’s talent for stealth, Mikey.” She just smirked back at him. “Who gave you permission to get this tall?”

“Must’ve been you. I outgrew mom like two years ago.”

“Well stop it,” he teased. “Are you still doing your exercises every day?”

“Mmm... mostly. Sometimes I get stupid busy. I haven’t been able to practice here. It’s too crowded, and biotics use up too much energy. It’s been hard enough getting my calories without lighting up. And besides, you don’t want me going around showing you up, do you?”

“Never gonna happen, firefly.”

“Daa-ad!” Micah feigned insult. “You still haven’t answered my question.”

“And I’m not going to until I have a solid answer. Now, I need you to do me a favour, can you go back inside and help your mother and Lt. Vega get Ms. Lewis and Mr. Horowitz to the airlock. The Normandy’s doctor needs to make sure they’re okay before we leave. And I want you both to get checked out too, make sure your implants are functioning properly.”

“But, dad, I--”

“That’s an order, kidlet.”

“I’m not a ‘kidlet’ anymore.”

“I don’t care if you’re fifteen or fifty, you’ll always be my kidlet. Just humour your old man, would you?”

The biotic teenager sighed dramatically, “Fine, I’ll get the hardware checked... for you. But now you owe me two scoops of raspberry ripple ice cream.”

“Deal,” the Major agreed, giving his daughter a firm handshake. “I might even know a guy who can find it. Now scoot!”

Micah threw her father a mock two-finger salute before re-entering the cargo.

Kaidan caught himself whistling tunelessly as he made his way back toward the ship’s bridge. He was about to go update the captain when he almost literally ran into Cortez coming in from the airlock with the last load of supplies.

“Sorry,” they both apologized at the same time.

“My fault, lieutenant. I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

Steve placed his hand on Kaidan’s shoulder, “I guess you’ve got good reasons for being distracted. I ummm... I’m glad they’re okay.”

“Me too,” Kaidan agreed. He caught a glimpse of one the asari crew out of the corner of his eye, and his voice immediately changed. “Lieutenant, I have some extra passengers for your next run to the Normandy. Doctor Chakwas needs to check them over before we’re done here.”

“Aye aye, sir,” Cortez replied swiftly moving his hand.

Kaidan lowered his voice as they passed each other, “Talk later?” Steve just nodded.

***

An hour later Traynor finally had the answer the Major had been looking for... mostly. Two of the smaller farming settlements on Horizon could take in the Terra Nova refugees, provided they were willing to pull their weight. There was just one problem.

“Whattaya mean they won’t take biotics?!?” Siddha hollered at Shepard.

Kaidan rested a hand on her back, “Sid, please calm down,” he insisted. His ex countered by elbowing him in the stomach. Just as sharp as he remembered.

“Fuck you, Alenko! There’s nothing to be calm about.”

As usual Alyssa Shepard was unfazed by the livid L2 biotic only inches from her face. “Dr. McEachern, the Horizon colonies have limited food and medical resources right now. We tried, but I’m sorry, they just won’t budge on this.”

“Just where are my daughter and I supposed to go, Commander? My home is in ruins, Earth is even worse, their so-called Sanctuary turned out to be anything but. So tell me why I shouldn’t be pissed off.”

Then Commander Shepard spoke four words that Kaidan never expected to hear, “You can stay here.”

You could have heard a pin drop. Siddha just stood there, dumbfounded. Micah hugged her father tightly. Kaidan, for his part, stood there wondering if Shepard had finally lost her ever-loving mind.

“Are – are you sure?”

“My ship, my call. So, is that a ‘yes’, Dr. McEachern?”

“I-- yes. Yes it is.”

“Good. I’ll assign someone to help you get settled. Major, with me.” The Commander turned and left the Starboard Lounge, Kaidan hot on her heels. She pulled him into life support, then spun to face him. “Before you go off on me, Major: no, I have not completely lost my marbles. This was the only option. Siddha was right, there’s no safe place for them to go. The Athame’s Rest is heading back to asari space to help evacuate civilians. The Normandy is their only safe harbour. We’ll section off part of the lounge for them. They’re confined to non-sensitive areas of Deck 3 unless escorted by Alliance personnel. Is that understood, Major Alenko?”

Kaidan blinked rapidly trying to parse everything she’d just thrown at him. He stepped into Shepard’s space, threw his arms around her in a bear-hug and kissed her on the cheek. “Thank you, Commander.”

She pushed him off and nonchalantly ran her fingers through her short, dark hair, a slight blush fading from her cheeks. “Yeah, yeah. No need to get all sappy on me Alenko. We all needed a win today.”

Kaidan wiped a stray tear from his cheek, then quickly recomposed himself. “Agreed, Commander.”

“Now go be with you family. That’s an order, Major.”

“Ma’am, yes ma’am,” Kaidan grinned.

Chapter Text

“Esteban! Man, I love you like a brother, but I swear to god, if you don’t put down that torch, I’m going to show you a new meaning to the phrase ‘hot piece of ass,’” James yelled from his bed across the shuttle bay. “Either hit the sack or go talk to the man. Just let me get some shut-eye before I’m on duty again.” He pulled the blanket over his head in a vain attempt to shut out the light and noise of Steve’s welding equipment.

It was a little after midnight, ship time, and Cortez had been ‘making repairs’ to the Kodiak for the last six hours, give or take. As far as James could tell, his friend had completely refinished the shuttle’s chassis... twice.

“I’m almost done.”

“Dude, you were ‘almost done’ three hours ago. If there’s anymore dents in that thing I’ll eat my hat.”

Steve finally put down the torch and began putting away his tools. “Mr. Vega, do even own a hat?”

“Nope,” James replied glibly. “But I’ll buy one when we reach the Citadel tomorrow, just so I have something to not eat. Now go hash shit out with your man.”

Kaidan had been a ghost since they’d returned to the ship more than a day ago. Ever since Shepard had made the unorthodox decision to let Kaidan’s wife (ex-wife, he reminded himself) and daughter stay on board, Cortez hadn’t seen hide nor hair of his boyfriend. He’d spent his on-duty hours in war room meetings co-ordinating potential battle strategies, and helping Shepard wade through the mountain of intel Liara was gathering. He’d taken his meals in the Starboard Lounge, and Steve was pretty sure he’d slept there too. The only time he’d even glimpsed the man was through the bay window as he’d left the Engineering section – and Steve wasn’t even certain it had been Kaidan.

Steve hated to admit it, but James was right: he and Kaidan needed to talk or no one in the shuttle bay was going to get a good night’s sleep tonight.

“Fine, James, I’m going. Happy?”

“Ecstatic,” James replied with all the sarcasm he could muster

“Good night, Mr. Vega,” Cortez said as he thumped his hand against the elevator panel.

“Yeah, yeah. You too. Now fuck off, Esteban, and let me sleep.”

It’s not that Steve thought that anything was wrong, particularly. It was just that Alenko had said they’d talk later, and they still hadn’t. His boyfriend had been adamant about the whole honesty thing and it was unlike him to break his word.

“EDI,” he spoke into the ether, “where can I find Major Alenko?”

“Major Alenko is currently in the starboard observation lounge? Do you wish me to page him?” replied the ship’s AI.

“No, thank you, EDI. I’m heading there anyway. Good night.”

“You know I don’t actually sleep. The organic concepts of day and night hold little meaning for me.”

“It was just a pleasantry, EDI.”

“Oh. Then, good night to you as well Lt. Cortez. And good luck.”

Steve was a little confused by her final remark as he got off the lift. “Thanks... I think.”

There were a few personnel milling about the mess when he arrived on the crew deck. He’d hoped Kaidan would be indulging in his usual late-night snacking, but it was still a bit too early for that. Instead he proceeded toward the starboard lounge, where he found the door controls glowing red. Locked! He touched the interface, and heard a chime sound from inside.

“Who is it?” a tired voice replied through his omnitool.

“Cortez. Can we talk?”

The door controls turned green and slid open. He walked into the dimly lit room. To the left he saw the curtained-off section of Siddha and Micah’s makeshift quarters. The couches in the centre were empty. When he finally looked to the right he saw his erstwhile boyfriend reclining shirtless on the chaise... with his ex tucked up against him wearing his t-shirt.

“Hey, sweetie, what did you want talk...” Steve turned on his heel and stalked toward bar on the other side of the deck.

How the hell does he have the nerve to call me ‘sweetie?’ Traitorous sonuva-- Steve’s thoughts were cut short, along with his forward motion. Stasis field? Are you kidding me? Cortez was livid when Kaidan caught up to him and dragged him into the empty life support room. When the Major dropped the biotic field seconds later, Cortez slapped him hard across the face. “Never, ever, do that again. Do you hear me? You have no right to control me like that, you sonuvabitch!”

Kaidan look gob-smacked at Steve, an angry red hand-print rising on his left cheek. “I... you’re right. I panicked. I didn’t want you to leave before I could explain. I’m so sorry.”

“Explain what?” Steve shouted at him. “That you fucked your ex-wife? I think that’s pretty damned obvious.”

“That I what??” Kaidan’s eyebrows nearly hit the ceiling. “Why in the galaxy would I ever want to do that?”

“You tell me.”

“Steve, darling, I love you, but that is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

“Then just what did I walk in on back there? She was lying on top of my half-naked boyfriend wearing his shirt. What was I supposed to think?”

Kaidan took a deep breath and let it out, then leaned again a wall. “I know what it looked like, but that’s not what happened.” He slid down the wall to sit on the deck plating and stretched out his long legs. “Sit?” he patted the floor beside him.

Steve reluctantly took a seat. This had better be a damned good explanation if he was going to risk permanent dents in his ass for it.

“You remember how I told you Sid and I used to take turns sleeping, especially after the baby was born?”

Steve nodded, and waited for him to continue.

“Well, sometimes when I was up with Micah, Sid would wander into the nursery. We had a big comfy chair next to the crib where we’d sit with the baby. She’d snuggle in next to me and fall asleep. I was a security blanket of sorts for her. After we split I had custody of Mikey, but Sid would come and visit regularly. If she was stressed, it wasn’t unusual for her to fall asleep next to me. It was never about sex, just comfort. There are a dozen reasons Siddha and I aren’t together anymore. We know we don’t work as a couple, never have, never will, but we are still friends. Is this making any sense to you?”

Steve leaned up against Kaidan’s side, “Yeah, I think so. But you have to admit it looked pretty bad.”

“I’m aware,” he said as he wrapped an arm around Steve. “Sid hadn’t had a decent sleep in nearly a week, I didn’t have the heart to deny her when she joined me on the chair. She was out in seconds.”

“What about the shirt?” Steve inquired, noting that his partner was currently fully dressed.

“What about it? They didn’t exactly have time to pack before the Reapers hit. Sid was on Asteroid X57 when they attacked Terra Nova. She’s the head geologist on the asteroid mining project and there were some concerns that the new equipment they’d ordered would cause instability in the rock. She was up there to consult. Micah was on a school break so she brought her along. They were only supposed to be up there for a couple of days. The Athame’s Rest was there to offload the new equipment.

“But I digress. Sid borrowed one of my old uniform shirts and a pair of boxers to sleep in because she literally has nothing else to wear. I prefer to sleep without a shirt cuz I overheat on this ship. Something about that stupidly large eezo core and my biotics. Ask Chakwas, she explains it better than me.” He cupped Steve’s chin in his hand. “So, am I forgiven?”

Steve gazed into those honey-brown eyes with their impossibly long lashes. “That depends,” he stated. “Do you promise never to use your biotics on me without my permission?”

“Of course I promise, darling.” He paused a moment to re-examine Steve’s question, “... but why would you want me to?”

Steve leaned in and kissed him hungrily, “Oh, Major Alenko, I have so many ideas about that.” He stood, pulling Kaidan up after him.

“Oh, really, Lt. Cortez? Feeling adventurous are you, my love?”

Steve pinned him against wall with his mouth, “Mmmm... definitely.”

“I hear we have ten days of shore leave on the Citadel. With any luck no one will try to kill us for most of that.... I hope.” Steve shot him a dirty look. “I’ve just jinxed it, haven’t I?”

Steve playfully ruffled Kaidan’s hair. “Good night, Jarhead.”

“G’night, Flyboy.” Kaidan kissed him on the cheek as they made their way back to their respective bunks.

Coincidentally they both had the exact same thought as their heads hit their pillows: ‘We are so screwed.’

Chapter Text

Kaidan hadn’t even managed to make it off the ship before he got the call. They’d been docked less than half an hour, and somebody was already trying to kill Alyssa. This was a new record even by her incredibly low standards.

He and Liara had been chatting in the lift when Joker had cut in on the ground team’s emergency frequency. Some garbled insanity about a shooting in a sushi restaurant, mercenaries, and something about fish and bait. Liara had hit the emergency stop and they’d dropped to the shuttle bay.

“So much for a nice quiet afternoon,” the asari quipped as Cortez wove the Kodiak through Citadel traffic. Both of them had just finished putting on their armour when Kaidan finally raised Shepard on her personal frequency. Not that it had been terribly hard to pinpoint her location. At this distance he could just make out the gunfire.

“Shepard, is that gunfire?” Like he didn’t already know the answer.

“Yeah, thought it’d make it easier for you to find me.” Alyssa chimed back at him. How she could be calm at times like this still befuddled him.

Kaidan pinched the bridge of his nose. “Not funny, Shepard.”

“Commander, you need keep off comms,” another voice cut in on their frequency.

“Hey, they called me,” he heard Shepard retort to the unidentified party.

“Look, I don’t know who you are, and I really don’t care. Shepard needs backup, ASAP. Commander we’ll meet you at the skycar lot.” He cut comms and caught Liara’s eye, “How does a woman that small attract such big trouble?”

“She does rather seem to have an uncanny knack for it, doesn’t she?” Liara replied as she locked her pistol into its holster. She raised a brow ridge when Kaidan passed her a spare auto-rifle.

“For Shepard. Sounds like she could use something with more ammo, and I don’t have any room for one on my armour.”

Cortez pulled the shuttle in close to the narrow walkway. “Sorry, not enough room to land. Any closer and they’ll see you coming.” He opened the door and Liara glided gracefully to the floor. The shuttle lurched suddenly throwing Kaidan against the far wall.

“Cortez! What the hell was that?!” the Major asked as he struggled against gravity to pull himself off the floor of the Kodiak.

The still unfazed pilot managed to right the shuttle. “RPG, Major. Whatever they’re using took out our shields. Afraid we’ll have to land her somewhere else. She’s limping a bit, but the repair shouldn’t take long. I’ll have you back in the fight in no time.”

“The fight’ll be over before that,” Kaidan replied in a somewhat miffed tone. “Liara, are you alright down there?”

“Just fine, Major. I have Commander Shepard. Are you okay?”

“We’re still in one piece. The Kodiak is out of the game for now. Keep Shepard safe and bring her home. Alenko out.”

“You should strap in Major. We have incoming fire and no shields.”

Kaidan locked himself into one of the rear jump seats and activated his biotics. His barrier wasn’t quite as strong as a kinetic shield, but it was more than adequate to get them to the nearest emergency landing pad. “You were saying?”

Steve looked back at him, still a bit stunned. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that,” he said as the shuttle touched down, the biotic barrier vanishing as it did. “You okay? You look a little green.”

“Yeah, just a little off-balance. Got a bit thrown around back there. I’ll shake it off in a minute.” He took a hefty slug of juice from his canteen. “I just need to re-energize. I’d forgotten just how much it takes to hold a barrier that large. Remind me not to try that one again for awhile.”

Steve opened the hatchway and stepped out. “Deal. I’ll be back in a minute. You, take a load off. I’m not losing you to low electrolytes,” he called back to Kaidan.

“Aye aye, Lieutenant,” the biotic replied. His omnitool pinged just then with an urgent message:

From: AShepardN7-482

To: Ground Team, JMoreauP6-113, SCortezP5-217, Wrex, Grunt [4 others]

Subject: Not Dead Yet

Okay, so I’m sure all of you heard about the attempt on my life earlier today. I can’t go into the details yet, but suffice it to say: they failed. Now we make them regret it so we can get on with shore leave. Meet at my apartment (Tiberius Towers, Floor 5, Apt. #2, Silversun Strip) 1400h to brainstorm.

Cmdr. A. Shepard,

P.S. Someone please bring snacks. Lunch was a literal bust.

True to his word, Steve had the Kodiak fixed and ready to fly within mere minutes of landing. Just a minor realignment of the shield generator, he’d said. That was the last good news he’d get for the rest of the day.

The pair made their way to Shepard’s new and insanely large apartment. Kaidan had changed back into his BDUs en route. They’d also stopped to grab snacks per Shepard’s email; Steve had been craving sushi, but apparently that was out of the question.

“I’ll be up in a minute,” Kaidan said passing the take-out bags to Cortez. “I just need to make a quick call.”

Steve leaned in and kissed him on the cheek, “Okay, but don’t take too long. I’m trusting you to keep the Commander from doing something suicidal.”

“I’m sure you can handle it ‘til I get there. I just need to make sure Sid and Micah are settling in okay.”

The call lasted a little under three minutes, but in that time it had somehow become necessary for him to acquire a tuxedo. Apparently he had a date to a black-tie affair at the Silver Coast Casino. He’d tried to pass the duty off on James, but Alyssa had insisted it be him – ‘There’s no one I trust more than you with my life.’ It was both flattering and intensely irritating at the same time. He’d tried to explain that schmoozing with a bunch of wealthy elitists was hardly a matter of life and death, but once Alyssa Shepard set her mind on something, it was nearly impossible to change it.

“Fine, but if I get turned away at the door, I get to say ‘I told you so.’”

“That’s ridiculous,” the Commander remarked. “Why would they ban my date?”

“Because your ‘date’ is a high-powered biotic, and some casinos treat us like probability-altering devices.”

“That’s just dumb. Besides, lots of asari are going to be there. If they let them in, they have to let you in.” He had to admit she had a point, but there was still a heavy bias against human biotics, especially among humans.

******

Kaidan had grumbled a bit more about it to Steve as he helped him get ready for the event.

“Not a fan of casinos, are you?” the pilot commented.

Kaidan adjusted the hem of his jacket for the third time, “I don’t have a problem with them, they seem to have a problem with me.” He tugged at his shirt collar, it wasn’t too tight, but something felt off. “Besides, you’d be surprised at how easy it is to accidentally alter game outcomes just by standing too close. Gravity changes when I walk into a room.”

Steve chuckled, “Is that your way of telling me you rock my world?”

Kaidan laughed heartily, “More of a literal ‘I felt the earth move.’” He sent a tiny shockwave through the floor.

“Got any more biotic pick-up lines?” Steve pulled Kaidan’s hands away from his tux, holding them to prevent the older man from ‘adjusting’ his attire again.

“Guess I’ll have to work on some, eh?”

Steve cocked an eyebrow at him, “Planning on picking up, are you?”

“Just you, Flyboy.” He leaned in and kissed Steve on the forehead. “Wouldn’t want my flirt to get rusty, hmm?” Kaidan teased.

“We certainly can’t have that,” Steve replied.

Just then the apartment’s VI chimed in: “Sir, your car has arrived.”

“I’ll be right there,” Kaidan answered, slightly annoyed at the timing. He’d been meaning to reprogram the damned overly-polite VI personality. It could wait ‘til tomorrow. “So, how do I look?”

“Perfect. Now go help Shepard infiltrate a casino. And don’t forget to have a little fun while you’re at it,” Cortez said, ushering Kaidan to the apartment door by the elbow. He couldn’t resist giving his boyfriend a light smack on his pert behind as he left.

“Hey! Don’t wrinkle the suit.”

Steve grinned and waved as the man he loved got in the limousine with the Commander. ‘I can’t wait to get him out of it.’

Half an hour later, Cortez found himself in Shepard’s apartment along with the Normandy’s ground teams (and a few assorted associates), listening in on comms as a break-and-enter quickly morphed into a murder mystery. Up to that point he’d actually been enjoying the twists and turns of the evening. He’d even giggled to himself when Kaidan had done his utmost to distract a couple of the guards at the party – even turning on the waterworks when one tried to walk away from him. Kaidan did seem to have a penchant for melodrama.

Steve Cortez was definitely not laughing now. Whoever was trying to kill Commander Shepard had actually succeeded in offing their one and only lead, in a locked room, with incredibly tight security. And the perpetrator had even gone so far as to personally taunt her via a scrambled video link.

When Shepard returned with Kaidan and Specialist Brooks the mood turned sombre. Cortez still wasn’t sure if he trusted the young woman, but she seemed sincerely invested in helping the Commander find the culprit behind these crimes. The pistol Shepard had recovered from one of the unknown mercs had been a literal dead-end. Now they had to sit and wait as Brooks, with EDI’s help, reconstructed a highly corrupted data-drive.

At the first available opportunity, he pulled Kaidan into an empty bedroom and kissed him like they’d been apart for months instead of only an hour.

“Wow!” Kaidan blinked in disbelief, “What was that for? Not that I’m complaining or anything.”

“I’m just very, very glad you’re in one piece.”

“And I’m betting the tuxedo doesn’t hurt matters either.” Kaidan winked at him. “Maybe I should wear it more often.”

“How can you joke at a time like this?”

“I forget that you’ve only known Alyssa Shepard for a few months. To you this must seem terrifying. To me it just seems like Tuesday. Mind you, I still want to know who’s trying to murder my best friend. Try not to worry so much, we’ll have this wrapped up in time for dinner.”

“I really hope you’re right,” Steve said warily.

“Me too.”

Both their omnitools pinged simultaneously, and the two men made their way into the common room as EDI and Specialist Brooks were finishing up with the data-drive. Five minutes later, they were both armoured up and on their way to break into the Citadel archives.

“Well, this is new.”

Chapter Text

Running and gunning his way through an archive the size of a small city had not been on Flight Lieutenant Steve Cortez’s ‘bucket list.’ And yet, he’d spent more than an hour leading ‘Team Mako’ along catwalks and side rooms providing cover fire as Commander Shepard hunted her clone through the Citadel’s most closely guarded informational repository. And everything was going just swimmingly – though he’d much rather have been NOT under a constant barrage of gunfire – at least until Brooks had gassed the team and left them in a sealed storage container.

“Alenko?” Steve groggily inquired as he came to.

“Yeah, Cortez?” the Major groaned as he tried to stand, only to find his legs pinned under 800 lbs of krogan warlord. He wasn’t going to be the one to inform Wrex that his nose whistled in his sleep. A light biotic shove brought said krogan to consciousness.

“Well ain’t this a kick in the quad,” Wrex observed.

“This still feeling like a Tuesday afternoon to you Major?” Cortez mocked from his position on the floor.

“Oh stuff a sock in it Fight Lieutenant, and help me find a control panel or something. There has to be a way out to open it from the inside.”

“I’ve been looking for an emergency hatch since Brooks threw me in here. Nothing so far.” said Tali. “One of the perks of an enviro-suit: independent air supply. I think there may be a way to hack the system but this panel...” she yanked on the stubborn hatch, “...is being a bosh’tet.” She attempted to lever it open with an omni-blade.

Kaidan stilled her arm. “Mind if I give it a go?”

“Why not, nothing else has worked.”

The Major’s biotic hummed to life. He bit his lip as he concentrated on creating a micro-singularity to crush the locking mechanism – too small and it wouldn’t work, too big and he risked destroying the panel. To Steve it looked like he’d just wiggled his fingers and the lock magically popped open.

“I coulda done that,” Wrex grumbled under his breath.

“You can get the next one big guy,” Kaidan said, patting Wrex on the arm.

The ancient krogan gave him some serious side-eye. “You know, between the two of us we could probably just blow the door off this thing.”

Tali voiced what Kaidan was currently thinking, “Or we could not implode the giant hermetically sealed canister instantly killing us all.”

“Meh, it was just a tho--” Wrex’s words were cut off as the vault tube moved suddenly. “Hey, nice goin’ kid. You did it.”

“I haven’t done anything yet.” Tali looked a little confused.

As the vault’s force-field came down, Shepard’s voice cut in across comms, “On your feet people. Rendezvous at my co-ordinates. That bitch is trying to steal my ship.”

“You heard the Commander. Double-time it. We have a ship save.” Kaidan was already halfway down the corridor before the rest of the squad caught on.

In less than a minute the entire team was reassembled on one of the Citadel’s more out-of-the-way landing zones. Almost instantly a dark red skycar descended on their position. Joker popped the canopy before he’d even landed.

“I’ve got room for Shepard plus two. And figure it out fast, ‘cause the other Shepard is stealing my ship.”

The Commander tapped Garrus and Wrex, leaving the rest of the team cooling their heels in the middle of nowhere.

“You know, Steve, just a couple hours ago I was ‘the only one she trusted to have her back.’ Now, when someone is actively trying to kill her, I get left by the side of the road – literally. I’m feeling a little used.” The Major sat heavily on the ground looking, for all intents and purposes, like an overgrown petulant five-year-old; his helmet balanced on his lap.

Cortez took a seat next to him, hooking an arm around his shoulders. “Can’t say I hate the idea of you not being shot at. I do worry, you know.” He leaned in and locked lips with Kaidan, gaining them a number of eye rolls, and a chorus of variations on ‘get a room.’ It had the added effect of turning the biotic beet red, which Steve would never tire of.

When Joker returned several minutes later it wasn’t to ferry the rest of the group home. He just opened the canopy and yelled, “Cortez, I need a co-pilot. I’ll explain on the way.”

Steve just shrugged as he got back to his feet and hopped into the skycar and saluted the team.

“Good hunting,” Kaidan called after him,. Then he muttered, “Fuck my life,” under his breath and called a couple of automated cabs to get everyone safely back to Shepard’s apartment, and himself back to his own flat. He was starting to feel too old for this crap.

*****

Steve couldn’t remember the last time he’d had so much fun on a mission. Flying that skycar at just the right angle and distance from the Normandy’s nose to keep them from going to FTL but still out of range of her guns had been a wicked challenge, and he couldn’t wait to tell Kaidan all about it.

When he got back to Kaidan’s apartment no one was answering the door, so he used the personal code his boyfriend had given him to let himself in. ‘Boyfriend’ still sounded strange to his ears, but definitely not in a bad way.

“Kaidan, honey, are you here?” He called out. Obviously it was a dumb question considering the trail of armour plates leading from the entrance, down the hall and into the bedroom. He followed the line of plates and accessories to the slightly ajar bedroom door, which was blocked from closing by his partner’s black skinsuit. He picked it up and entered the room, and beheld a sight as yet unseen by him. There, face down on top of his comforter, lay Major Kaidan Yannick Alenko in all his glory; naked as the day he was born, though with significantly more tattoos.

Even thought they’d shared a bed whenever they could in the last few weeks, Steve had never actually seen Kaidan with anything less than a t-shirt and boxer briefs. The man was exceedingly private when it came to his body. Seeing him now Cortez had no idea why; he had an amazing body. Steve had only caught glimpses of Kaidan’s full back piece, but seeing the whole thing at once was a sight to behold: a dragon so life-like in its rendering that he wouldn’t have been surprised to see it fly off his back. The whole thing was rendered in shades of red and black with metallic gold highlights. The wings were folded down along his sides, the long serpentine tail disappeared over his right hip and reappeared on his left thigh winding around it once. The pointed tip of the tail rested teasingly on his inner thigh.

Steve resisted the temptation to wake the clearly exhausted biotic. As much as he wanted to run his hands over those well-toned muscles and tanned skin (and, god, did he ever want to), he wouldn’t violate the man’s personal boundaries. He found a spare sheet and laid it over Kaidan’s sleeping form. The major mumbled something incoherent, snuggled deeper into the bedding, and resumed his slumber. Steve folded the skinsuit properly and placed it in an empty drawer, then left the room to eat the take-out Indian food he’d picked up for the two of them; because, as Kaidan had predicted, the whole incident with Shepard’s clone had, in fact, wrapped up before dinner.

It had been an extraordinarily long day, and Steve Cortez was more than happy to see the end of it. The techs and the engineers could deal with the mess that Shepard and company made of the CIC, and James had volunteered to oversee the disaster that was currently the Normandy’s cargo hold. Brooks (or whatever her name really was) was in C-Sec maximum security custody, and Shepard’s clone was being questioned by Alyssa Shepard herself. She had reasoned that Brooks had manipulated the whole situation, and the clone had just been a pawn in the whole scenario. Thanks to Wrex’s quick thinking, Shepard 2.0 had been spared a rather messy landing over the wards.

So, now Steve was content to pack up the leftovers for his boyfriend’s inevitable midnight snacking, take a shower, finish his nightly routine, and curl up in bed. Reports had been filed, paperwork had been finished, and orders had been given to just bloody enjoy the next several days; Steve intended to make the most of that time.

Around midnight Cortez half heard Kaidan shuffle out of the room to root around in the kitchen for food before falling asleep again. A little later he was fairly sure the shower was running, but the sound of rain lulled him back to sleep. When he finally woke up, it wasn’t to the Citadel’s simulated sunrise, it was to his boyfriend’s left leg being slung across his midriff, and, as far as he could tell, the man still hadn’t put on any clothing. This was certainly a new development in their relationship.

The next thing he knew, Kaidan had buried his face in the crook of his neck placing tiny kisses wherever he could reach.

“Well good morning to you too,” Steve spoke softly, letting out a low moan as Kaidan’s tongue found a particularly sensitive spot behind his ear.

The biotic lifted his head long enough to smile lazily at him, “Mmmmm... hi.” Then he went back to nuzzling Steve’s neck, working his way along the collarbone to the notch below his throat.

“Someone’s in a good mood this morning,” he said, getting more distracted by the second.

“Mmhmm,” replied the distraction, before nibbling his way up Steve’s jawline.

“Kaidan, not to put a damper on this, but shouldn’t we discuss--” he was quickly cut off by a very insistent pair of lips.

“Less talking, more kissing.” Steve could work with that. He flipped his partner onto his back. “That’s more like it, flyboy.”

They spent the next little while making out like a pair of first-year recruits after lights-out. Finally, Kaidan let out a long, satisfied sigh, “That was nice.”

Steve peered down into those gorgeous honey coloured eyes, “Does this mean we’re done?”

“Mmmm, for now.” Kaidan’s goofy smile morphed into an adoring one, “I’m damn lucky to have you. And you’re right we should probably talk before this goes any further.” Cortez’s obvious interest was making itself known. “Didn’t mean to be a tease, but you looked so pretty laying there, I couldn’t help myself.”

Steve rolled onto his side propping himself up on an elbow. “I think I can forgive you... just this once.”

“I’m glad,” Kaidan said. “I guess you got a bit of an eyeful last night. I was exhausted when I got here. I just dropped my gear and headed for the shower... guess I didn’t quite make it. Thanks for sorting out my plates, by the way. I appreciate it.”

“Not a problem. And it was an ‘eyeful’ that I could get used to seeing more often. Your ink is incredible... and the rest of the view isn’t too shabby either.” Steve was pleased to see his man’s cheeks flush. “...You do know you’re still naked, right?”

“Hm, thought I felt a draft.” Kaidan gave him a knowing wink, “There didn’t seem any point in getting dressed now that you’ve seen all there is to see... mostly. I guess I should explain why you’ve never seen me without a shirt on before. Truth is, not a lot of people have.”

He pulled down the sheet to reveal the gnarled scar tissue on his left pectoral. Steve hesitantly moved to touch it; Kaidan nodded his ascent. On closer inspection the scar wasn’t just formless, poorly healed wound – with the number of battles the Major had fought scars were inevitable. No, it appeared to have a design to it – the letter ‘B’ and what looked like a turian character. He traced the lines lightly with his index finger.

“Is that a...” he couldn’t quite fathom the word coming out of his mouth, “brand?”

“Yes, it is.”

Steve was dumbfounded, “Why?... How?” He wasn’t sure what questions to ask, and he was near certain he wasn’t going to like the answers.

Kaidan adjusted his pillows and leaned up against the headboard. He took a deep breath to steel himself. “Okay, so remember awhile back when I mentioned ‘Brain Camp?’” Steve nodded his response. “When I was young, humans were only starting to understand biotics. In fact, I’m about as ‘first generation’ as you can get. My mom was visiting family in Singapore when that first eezo transport crash happened. Humans, the Systems Alliance in particular, wanted to figure out our potential. Problem was they had no idea where to start.

“The First Contact War had ended when I was six, and we were still struggling to make nice with the turians. So, some diplomatic dipwad had the brilliant idea of partnering with them in an effort to train the ‘growing concern’ of human biotics. From that the Biotic Acclimation & Temperance training program was born, BAaT for short, but for the kids hauled out to Jump Zero, it was Brain Camp. It was also a shitty way to celebrate my 15^th birthday.”

“That sounds like an accident waiting to happen.”

“You have no idea. Take a bunch of over-powered, hormonal teenagers away from friends and family, isolate them out on the system’s shock terminus with no outside communications, and get a bunch of turians to teach them how to use their newly burgeoning gifts. What could possibly go wrong? The answer is everything. Most of us were L2s, the first human-made biotic implant that worked – sort of. The implants are notoriously unstable. We’re talking about every neurological disorder you can think of, and then some. There were suicides, homicides, and complete psychotic breaks before the program was moth-balled and classified into the next century. Enlisting in the Alliance military may come across as an honest way for young biotics to serve their species. They seem open and accepting of our abilities. Our ‘gifts’ as they put it in the recruiting ads.” He used air quotes. “The truth is they just wanted another weapon in their arsenal. The batarians were making life difficult for human colonists. They knew sooner or later we’d be pulled into another war, and they wanted an edge.”

“That’s a dark way of looking at it,” Steve commented.

“Maybe, but from where I sit, it’s the truth,” Kaidan added with just a hint of anger in his words. “The biggest problem with getting turians to train your biotics, is that they treat you slightly worse than they treat their own biotics. Which isn’t well at all. The whole thing was military right down to the haircuts and uniforms. When we arrived on station we were herded into two small rooms; guys in one, girls in the other. We were told to strip down to our skivvies and wait. One by one we were ushered into a med-bay for a physical exam – I’m sure you remember those fondly?”

Steve gave a small chuckle, “Yeah, not so much.”

“After that super fun time, each of us was pulled aside, handed two uniforms, bedding, dopp kit, and told to wait in yet another sterile room. If you listened hard you could hear the others. Some cried, some swore, some just screamed. They branded each of us. As far as they were concerned, we were Alliance property, and were marked accordingly. When they got to me I didn’t make a god-damned sound; just stared daggers at the guy. No ‘bird’ was going to break me, but he was determined to make me scream. But I have it on good authority that I’m too stubborn for my own good, so now I’m scarred almost down to the bone – permanent nerve damage.”

“Shit, that’s... messed up.”

“You can say the word, sweetie. And yeah, it was beyond fucked up.”

Kaidan slumped against Cortez. Reliving the memory had clearly taken its toll on the veteran soldier, so Steve just sat there holding him for what seemed like an eternity. He wanted to go back in time and tell that scared, angry 15-year-old kid that he was going to be okay. Eventually, Kaidan’s stomach and Steve’s bladder got the better of them and they agreed it was time to get out of bed. They had all day to spend together, and conversations could happen at a more leisurely pace now that the biggest of Kaidan’s fears had been allayed.

As new relationship developments went, Steve was glad of it. The fact that Kaidan had decided to spend the day without a shirt on was just a happy bonus.

Chapter Text

After a leisurely breakfast (brunch?) both Steve and Kaidan spent some time filling in and filing paperwork resulting from the previous day’s ‘incident.’ Apparently archivists got a little tetchy when you fired automatic weapons in their storage facilities – who knew?

Apart from the salarian who delivered their groceries a little after noon station time, the two men laid eyes on no one but each other. Steve made them sandwiches for lunch and they spent the time talking about trivial things. Little ‘get-to-know-you’ questions like, birth dates, favourite colours, least favourite foods, childhood pets, etc... The things that don’t seem important, but can tell you a lot about a person. Kaidan grazed as they chatted, trying to make up for a missed meal or three.

“I think we’ve run out of dishes,” Steve commented as he looked high and low for a clean plate.

Kaidan took a gander at the disaster area that was his kitchen. “We should probably do something about that, hunh?” Housework hadn’t exactly been at the top of his list of things to do on shore leave, but here they were without so much as a clean fork. His apartment was as bare-bones as it got, which meant no dish sanitizer, so everything had to be washed by hand. He tossed Steve a clean tea towel, “I wash, you dry?”

“Sure thing,” Cortez agreed.

They quickly got into a rhythm of washing, rinsing, drying and putting away the dishes. Kaidan hummed a half-remembered tune from somewhere in his youth. Steve started humming along with him, eventually adding in a few lyrics here and there. A cheesy techno-pop love song that his parents used to dance around the living room to when he was little – a bit embarrassing really.

Kaidan gave him a look that said, “I can’t believe you know the words to this.”

Steve just grinned at him and began to sing louder, surprising Kaidan with a melodic, rich baritone voice. He removed the dishcloth from Kaidan’s hand and spun him around so they were facing each other. He tapped a few commands into the VI console and soon the song was playing throughout the small apartment. “Dance with me.”

“Fine, but I am not responsible for any broken toes that may result,” Kaidan warned him. “You lead.”

They danced haphazardly around the kitchen, both singing at the top of their lungs. When the tune ended they collapsed against each other completely out of breath. “Remind me not to invite you to karaoke night,” Steve said with a chuckle.

Kaidan blew a raspberry against Steve’s cheek, “No need to rub it in, Flyboy.”

Moments later Kaidan found himself backed up against the counter in a ferocious lip-lock. A pair of strong hands grabbed his legs, hands that were accustomed to long hours of hard work and heavy lifting. Steve easily lifted him up and set him next to the half-empty sink, causing him to double down on the kiss. He wrapped his legs around Cortez’s waist, while his hands began searching for the hem of his t-shirt, which he found (and relieved him of) in short order.

Steve ducked his head down, kissing down the column of Kaidan’s throat. The resulting moan made it all worthwhile. They’d never really been skin-to-skin before and the sensation was intoxicating. Kaidan’s skin was warm and gave off the slightest electric charge, and his body responded unexpectedly well to it. Glancing down he noted that the interest was definitely mutual.

“Oh, fuck...” Steve paused at Kaidan’s exclamation. “Don’t you dare stop...Want more.” The words were ragged and breathy. Somehow the Major had managed to hook his toes into the waistband of Cortez’s sweatpants and was inching them downward.

“Define ‘more’,” Cortez inquired with all of his remaining willpower.

Kaidan grasped him by the chin, looked him dead in the eyes. There was a hunger there that he’d never experienced before, not even with Robert – and that was saying something. “Steven Alejandro Cortez, what I want right now, is for you to strip me bare, and go down on me right on this counter-top. Then I’m going to drop down on my knees and return the favour until you’re on the brink. At which point you’re going to drag me down the hall, throw me on the bed, and fuck me ‘til I can’t see straight.” He punctuated his point with a searing kiss that left no room for argument.

Steve blinked at him a couple of times. Seeing no flaw in the plan he responded with, “Okay then.” The man clearly knew what he wanted. So, he untied Kaidan’s lounge pants and tugged them down past his hips.

... And that’s when the door chimed. Are you fucking kidding me??

“Shit!” Kaidan shouted, dragging Steve out of his reverie. “What time is it?”

“Tell them to come back later. You’re busy,” he dropped his head back down to lick a stripe up the Major’s briefs with the flat of his tongue.

“Unnnnnhh... gods that feels good,” Kaidan moaned, “but, can’t. I’m so, so sorry, baby. I promised Mikey we’d do family game night. Didn’t realize it was this late.” He placed his hands lightly on Steve’s shoulders.

Cortez just glared at Kaidan as he dropped down from the counter and hiked up his pants. The door chimed again. “Game night? Really, Kaid?” He retrieved his shirt from the floor.

“I promise I will make this up to you. This is important to me.” Kaidan batted his eyelashes. The doorbell chimed again – multiple times. “Just a minute,” he yelled at the intercom.

“Put on yer pants an’ answer the damned door, Danny,” Siddha shouted back.

Cortez shot his boyfriend a puzzled look. “How did she--”

“Stock phrase, love,” Kaidan replied. “Do me a favour and answer the door? I really should put a shirt on.”

“Sure thing. Do you want me to come back later?” Steve called down the hall. He watched as Kaidan pulled a clean black t-shirt over his head.

“Why? Are you going somewhere?” he yelled back.

Steve opened the door to a mildly annoyed looking Sid, and a grinning Micah. “Come on in. Kaidan’s just--”

“Putting on pants?” said the teenager with a snort of laughter.

Kaidan slid his arms around Steve’s waist from behind and gave him a peck on the cheek.

“Told you, mom.” She held out an omnitool bedecked wrist to Sid, who shoved four trays of Asian take-out at Cortez before transferring a sum of credits to her daughter.

Steve rolled his eyes. “I’ll just put these in the kitchen, shall I?” He pulled Kaidan along with him. “What exactly is going on here?” he asked in a harsh whisper.

“It’s an Alenko family tradition. The first Friday of every month is family game night,” Kaidan explained. “We all get together, eat junk food, and play video or board games until we’re too tired to think. Loser provides food, and winner hosts the next one. I don’t have any games here so I gave Micah a few credits to pick up some new holo-cartridges. Oh, and if you think you’re getting out of it, you are sadly mistaken.” He poked Steve in the ribs as he backed his way into the living area, “You’re family now, whether you like it or not.”

****

This was definitely not how Steve Cortez had pictured spending the evening with Kaidan. There were, by far, too many people and too many clothes. Just two hours ago he’d had his tongue between the man’s thighs, and now he was losing a game of pictionary to a gloating teenager. Yeah, it was safe to say he hadn’t laughed this much in a very long time.

Things had started off a bit uncomfortably with both Kaidan’s ex and his daughter putting Steve in the hot-seat. Micah peppered him with questions about everything from his hometown to his shoe size. Siddha, on the other hand, was more interested in his past relationships and his intentions toward her ex-husband. Kaidan himself finally intervened, reminding them that the night was about fun, not interrogating his new squeeze.

After that things quieted down a bit, at least until Micah broke out the pictionary holo-cartridge. In a strategic move befitting an Alliance admiral, she’d picked her father as her partner, leaving Steve and Sid to contend with each other. It had started poorly for the mismatched duo, but once they’d accepted their fates (and their mutually poor artistic skills), the mood improved substantially. They were even beginning to mount a comeback.

“There is no way you got ‘rat race’ from that mess of scribbles,” Siddha said pointing an accusing finger at her daughter, a touch of humour in her voice.

Steve laughed loudly. “They have got to be cheating somehow,” he concurred. “Morse code? Telepathy, maybe.”

Sid elbowed an unsuspecting Steve in the ribs. “You know that’s a myth right?”

Kaidan pressed his fingers to his temples, and squinted at his daughter.

“You’re right, dad. They are sore losers.”

Cortez laughed so hard he snorted juice out of his nose. The whole situation just devolved from there, until everyone was in hysterics.

“I think....,” Kaidan began, trying to catch his breath. “I think maybe that’s enough for tonight.”

“Awwww...,” Micah and Steve answered in unison. Both pouted ‘cutely’ at Kaidan.

“You’re dad’s right,” Sid agreed. “We should be going. You and I have a lot of shopping to do tomorrow.” She offered her hand to Cortez who shook it willingly, “It was good to meet you, Steven Cortez.”

“Likewise, Siddha.”

“I hope we can do this again some time soon. And take care of this one.” She gave Kaidan a kiss on the cheek causing him to turn pink. “He might be a right pain in the arse sometimes, but he’s worth the hassle.”

“That he is. And don’t worry I’ve got his back.”

Hugs and ‘good nights’ were exchanged, and before they knew it, Kaidan and Steve found themselves alone again.

Steve surveyed the chaos that was the living area. “Honey, I hate to be the bearer of bad news,” he said solemnly, “but I think the dishes have multiplied again.”

Kaidan just sighed deeply then flumped down bonelessly onto the couch. “We can deal with them tomorrow. Right now, I just wanna cuddle up next to you, listen to something relaxing, and unwind for awhile.”

The shuttle pilot just stood in front of the couch and peered down at his mentally exhausted boyfriend. “Are we going to talk about what almost happened this afternoon?” he asked.

Kaidan sensed an air of absolute seriousness around the flight lieutenant, which, to his mind, wouldn’t do at all. So, he grasped Steve’s hand and tugged just enough to get him to sit down beside him. It did not, however, cause him to relax at all; he practically sat at attention on the opposite end of the sofa.

“You mean the bit where I asked you to fuck me senseless?” Cortez just hummed a response. The biotic cozied up against his side and purred into his ear, “I meant every syllable of it. Is there a problem with that?” He trailed his index finger lazily up the other man’s chest as he spoke.

Steve wriggled further into the corner, garnering an annoyed grunt from his partner.

“You wanted to talk, so talk already,” Kaidan said, trying not to sound too impatient.

“I just didn’t...” he trailed off as if unsure what he was trying to say.

“Didn’t what?” Kaidan nailed him with a look.

“I didn’t expect you to be that ‘forward’ is all.”

“I wasn’t the one who put me on that counter, Flyboy. You asked me what I wanted and I answered. And I don’t recall you objecting. That’s not ‘forward’, it’s just honesty. So I’m asking you again: is there a problem?”

“Yes... no. I guess not. I guess I was expecting our first time together to be more ‘flowers, soft music, and candles’ and less...”

“Less ‘fuck me into the mattress’?” Kaidan offered.

Cortez chuckled, “Yeah, that.” He relaxed a bit into his boyfriend’s side.

“Ya know, you could’ve made me a counter offer.”

Steve snorted a laugh at the unintentional pun, “I thought I had.” Kaidan rolled his eyes. “Look, I’m all for hot and heavy. And I guess I did get kind of carried away in the moment, but--”

“Ya think?”

The pilot took hold of Kaidan’s hand and brought the back of it to his lips. “But, I was really looking forward to taking my time with you.”

“How so?” Kaidan asked, leaning back against the couch, a lazy smile on his face. “I want details. Preferably graphic ones.”

Cortez manoeuvred himself onto the Major’s lap, knees straddling his hips. “Well, for starters, I’d slowly remove your shirt,” he tugged the fabric at Kaidan’s waist, “while kissing you deeply on the mouth...” He bent forward to demonstrate.

Kaidan raised up his arms as Steve’s hands inched their way up his torso. He broke their kiss to haul the t-shirt up over Kaidan’s head, tossing it out of the way. “Mmmmm... I like where this is going.” His hands settled on the lieutenant’s rear end. “By all means,” he squeezed both cheeks, “please continue.”

Steve smirked down at him, “You’re a bit of brat in the sack, aren’t you?”

“Oh yeah,” he said. “Is that a problem?”

“Only if you don’t like being put in your place,” Steve replied. To Steve’s mind, this conversation was slowly taking an unexpected, but not unwelcome, turn.

“Depends,” Kaidan looked at him with a sly smile, “will you put me there anyway?”

Steve sat back a touch and looked his partner in the eyes. “Are we talking about what I think we’re talking about?”

“If you mean kinks, then, yes, we are definitely on the same wavelength. I’m mostly a sub, but I’m willing to switch things up sometimes. Top or bottom doesn’t matter, I’m good either way. And I have more than a bit of a thing for pain and punishment. Bondage? Also good. Just no humiliation, and no extraneous bodily emissions, if you catch my meaning.... If this is weirding you out, you can just say so. I’m going to stop talking now...” Kaidan felt a little mortified by his nervous babbling.

“Love, you are not ‘weirding me out.’ Steve kissed him gently on the lips, causing him to release the breath he’d been holding. “If anything, you’ve put my mind at ease. When you told me sex wasn’t a big deal for you, I thought maybe...”

“That I was strictly vanilla? Not even a little.”

“I caught that earlier,” Steve said with a laugh. “But I meant what I said: I want to take this time slowly. Get to know every inch of you... before I take you apart.” Beneath him, he felt Kaidan respond. He ground his hips forward as a little reward. The marine involuntarily let out a mewling sound. Oh, this is going to be fun.

Kaidan brought his arms around Steve’s neck, “So, now that you’ve got my shirt off, what next?”

“Next?” He paused to stand, bringing the Major with him. “Next, I carry you into the bedroom, put some smooth R&B on the sound system, and turn the lights down just enough to set the right mood.” Kaidan made a little noise of approval, and nibbled at his earlobe. “Then, I lay you out on the bed and remove the rest of your clothes.” Cortez guided his boyfriend’s legs around his waist yet again.

Kaidan eagerly clamped his legs around Steve as he made his way down the short hall. “So far, so good,” he commented, “but I see a small flaw in your plan.”

“Hmm?” Cortez looked up from sucking a hickey into his neck.

“Well, as far as I can tell, in this plan of yours, all of your clothes are still on.” He paused to place his palm on the door lock. “I find this highly unfair.”

True to his word, Steve lowered Kaidan onto the end of the bed. “I saw you looking at me change clothes last time we shared a bed,” he teased. “I thought you might enjoy watching me take them off... slowly.” Without another word he stepped to the wall terminal and entered a few commands. The lights lowered, and holographic candles lit up giving the room a soft, incandescent glow. Music started playing in the background, low at first, then rising just enough to fill the room with the slow steady rhythm. Steve sauntered back to the bed where his soon-to-be lover was sitting obediently. “I thought you deserved a good show,” he said bending down to place a long, languid kiss on Kaidan’s lips.

The Major leaned back on his elbows. “Mmmmm... can’t wait.”

“Only the best for my man.”

So far, Cortez’s plan was coming off without a hitch.

Chapter Text

Kaidan sat with rapt attention as Cortez’s body swayed with the rhythm of the music. He watched as the man slowly removed his tight blue t-shirt, exposing his well-toned chest with the squadron tattoo that Kaidan could never resist running his tongue over. And those arms... fuck, at this rate he wasn’t going to last long. The shirt dropped to the floor.

Steve’s hips continued to gyrate to the beat as he turned his back to the Major. He slid his hands down his body moving the waistband of his black sweatpants over his hips exposing the fabric of his definitely-not-Alliance issue, lacy, red briefs. Mmmmm... pretty. Wonder where he got ‘em. He licked his lips as the pants slipped to the ground and Cortez finished his slow turn.

“Erm... just one sec,” he said, bending over awkwardly. He tossed the socks to the side. “Almost forgot those,” he grinned.

Kaidan barked a loud laugh and fell back on the bed. “Yeah, that totally would have ruined it for me,” he said with a huge grin. He yelped as Cortez landed on the bed beside him and began to tickle him mercilessly until he threw up his hands in surrender. “I give...” he wheezed between giggles, “I’ll never laugh at your socks again. Promise.”

His heart skipped a beat when Steve’s hand caressed his cheek. “Have I ever told you how much I love hearing you laugh?”

“Guess it hasn’t come up a lot, huh?” Kaidan rolled onto his nearly-naked boyfriend, kissing him hard on the mouth, and eliciting the most delicious moan. Kaidan broke off to stare into the beautiful baby blues beneath him. “Now there’s a sound I’d like to hear more often.”

Steve flipped them both over bringing them dangerously close to the edge of the double bed. Heat flashed through the Major’s body as Steve slowly and methodically kissed his way down his chest, and over his stomach (gaining another giggle when he dipped his tongue into Kaidan’s bellybutton). When Cortez’s lips grazed the band of his boxers his whole body tensed involuntarily. “Hey, sweetheart. You okay?”

“Yeah.... I’m good,” his breath hitched a little. “Just butterflies, I guess. It’s been... a while.”

“Hmm, I think I have just the thing to chase them away,” Steve said with a quick wink. “Roll over, babe.”

“I fail to see how me being on my stomach will make me more comfortable,” Kaidan replied.

Steve stood up and retrieved something from the nightstand, “That’s an order, marine,” the pilot spoke with all the authority he could muster, making his partner’s cock twitch in response.

“Yes, sir,” the biotic responded, automatically turning over and resting his head on the pillow Steve had so thoughtfully provided. Hopefully Cortez hadn’t noticed just how much he enjoyed being ordered around. He squeaked into the pillow as the younger man straddled his waist. There was a quiet click of lid opening, then a warm scent filled the room. Strong, calloused hands began working the tension out of his neck and shoulders. He hadn’t realized just how much he’d been holding onto until his body started to let go of it all.

“Smells like cinnamon rolls,” Kaidan mumbled as Steve worked his way down his back. “S’nice.”

“Glad you like it,” Steve said. “It was this or peppermint.”

“Good choice. You hate mint,”

“Heh, yeah I do. I didn’t think you’d noticed,”

“Mmmmm.... little lower...,” Kaidan hummed happily. “Bubblegum toothpaste.”

Steve chuckled, “Dead give-away, eh?” He moved to knead Kaidan’s lats, earning him a low rumble.

“Mmhmmm... thought I asked you to go lower,”

“Oh? How much lower?”

Kaidan pretended to think on it before replying, “I’d say roughly 8 to 10 inches.” He turned his head and grinned.

The corner of Cortez’s mouth quirked up as Kaidan began shuffling the waistband of his lounge pants down past his hips. “Please, allow me?” he asked, moving to the end of the bed.

“Mmmmm... such a gentleman,” Kaidan purred.

“Anything for my man.” Steve easily slid the light cotton pants off his partner’s legs. “Breath-taking,” he sighed, taking in the whole picture. The light from the holo-candles shone against glistening skin highlighting the dips and curves of Kaidan’s perfectly toned muscles. You’re a lucky man, Steven Cortez, he thought.

He dipped down to place a warm kiss on his boyfriend’s lower back, stealthily moving the last of Kaidan’s clothing out of his way.

“Are you almost done taking your time?”

“Hell no,” Cortez chastised. “I plan on savouring every bit of you, even if I have to gag you in order to do it.”

“Promises, promises...” Kaidan said, “but you could savour a little faster, things are starting to get a tad uncomfortable.” He wiggled his bum at Steve, and a glint of something metallic caught the pilot’s eye.

“Baby, is that what I think it is?” He separated the two perfect globes of flesh with his hands, revealing a pretty blue gem. The biotic groaned as Cortez’s thumbs grazed the bejewelled flange. “Fuck, Alenko, just when I think you can’t get any hotter...”

“Thought I’d save you some ti-- oh fuck, yes...” Kaidan let out a wanton moan as the plug grazed just the right spot.

Cortez gave him a light smack on the ass. “On all fours,” he ordered.

Kaidan gladly complied, if only to relieve the growing pressure on his rapidly hardening length.

“Facing me,” he added, as his partner turned around, face level with Steve’s lacy underwear. “Better.”

The biotic licked his lips, “I’ll say. May I?”

Steve tilted his lover’s chin up, “Since you asked so politely: yes, you may.” He was starting to get the impression that the senior officer preferred following orders to giving them, which suited him just fine.

Kaidan traced the shape of Cortez’s growing erection with his tongue, stopping to lave his balls through thin fabric. He dragged the flat of his tongue up the shaft, then sucked on the damp spot at the tip. He looked up at the younger man with pleading eyes and an open mouth.

Steve freed himself from the confines of the red lace. Taking his length in hand, he slowly fed his cock into the Major’s eagerly waiting mouth, watching as it all but disappeared down his throat. God, the man was full of surprising talents. He lost all train of thought as Kaidan’s head bobbed back and forth. The motion was almost hypnotic. So much so that it was a shock when Kaidan suddenly pulled off him with a small pop!

“Didn’t want to waste this,” he said, licking a drop of precum off the head. He turned around and lay his head back down on the pillow, ass tantalizingly up in the air.

“Now that is a sight to behold,” Steve said, taking a moment to catch his breath, and to admire the perfect twin globes presented to him, before slowly removing the jewelled toy from in between them. Kaidan whined a little at the loss. He set it aside on the nightstand, trading it for the bottle of lubricant he’d set there earlier in the evening. “You still okay, baby?”

“I’m good,” he replied, appreciating the check-in, “but I’d be better if you were inside me.”

“On that, we agree, my gorgeous hunk of man.” Kaidan gasped as Cortez bit a mark into his right cheek. “But, pretty as the view is now, I’d rather see more of those beautiful brown eyes. Care to turn over for me?”

“Gladly,” he purred. “How do you want me?”

“In every way imaginable.” The biotic chuckled at the smooth reply. “But, in this case, I’d love to have those long legs wrapped around me.”

“Waist or neck?”

He looked down at the Major, all naked and grinning ear-to-ear. “You’re trying to wreck me, aren’t you.”

“With every fibre of my being.” Kaidan settled for somewhere in-between, as he hugged his legs around the pilot’s back. “Now, fuck me, would you?”

“Ask nicely,” he chastised, unable to resist the urge to curb the bratty edge to his lover’s voice.

Kaidan pouted cutely up at him, giving him his best puppy-dog eyes. “Please, Steve. I need this. I need you. Please, make love to me.”

How could he deny that?

“I should probably cover up. Just--” Kaidan yanked him forward with his legs, causing Steve to brace himself against the Major’s broad chest.

“I’m good with bareback if you are,” he said, then promptly captured Steve’s mouth with his own.

“You really are a brat. You know that, right?”

“Guilty as charged.”

Cortez propped himself up just enough to line his cock up with Kaidan’s entrance. They moaned in unison as he slowly pressed the slicked up member into his lover’s waiting body. Kaidan’s breath hitched, so he paused waiting for him to adjust to the welcome intrusion.

“I’m good. You’re just a lot to take in,” he said, a warm, lazy smile crossing his face.

Steve rolled his hips slowly against Kaidan, taking his cues from the legs hugged around his back. True to his word he took his time with the raven-haired biotic, coaxing moans, curses, and half-formed words from his kiss-swollen lips. He let Kaidan set the pace, both men revelling in the shared intimacy of new touches; hands and lips explored skin glistening with sweat.

Curls of energy slid across the biotic’s skin as their mutual pleasure ramped up. Cries of “Harder... please... oh gods – I need... so fucking close.” spurred Steve on. He picked up the pace to a near punishing degree; his lover’s cries devolving into wordless shouts of ecstasy. The indigo tendrils of Kaidan’s biotics engulfed them both as his back arched so far off the bed, he wasn’t sure they were even on it anymore. There was a flare of light as he came unassisted on his chest. The shock was enough to bring Cortez to his own completion moments after.

The soft thud of their bodies hitting the mattress confirmed Steve’s suspicions.

Kaidan grinned up at him. “Well, that was new. Are you okay?”

Steve looked at him in stunned silence for a moment, “I... uhhhh... yeah, I think so. Were we... floating?”

“Seems like it,” he answered. He relaxed his legs and wrapped his arms around Steve who had collapsed into a boneless heap on his chest. “I swear to you, nothing like that has ever happened before.”

Steve’s deep laugh reverberated through Kaidan’s body. “That’s the first time a guy has ever swept me off my feet.”

They lay there for what seemed an eternity, heedless of the sweat and rapidly cooling mess between their spent bodies. Just for a while they lived in the illusion of time standing still. It was a luxury they rarely got to appreciate these days.

Still, time couldn’t stop forever. Cortez was the first to move, reluctantly slipping out his partner, he made his way to the small bathroom. After a quick clean up, he took a warm, wet washcloth back to bed and did the same for his snoozing boyfriend. He curled up next to him on the bed and drifted off to sleep.

Half an hour passed before Kaidan’s stomach rumbled with the need to replace the abundance of energy he’d expended earlier. This called for something more substantial than his usual protein bar and energy drink. Fortunately, the Citadel was open for business at all hours of the Galactic Standard Day.

“Sweetie, I’m ordering a large Hawaiian pizza. You want anything?” he asked quietly

Steve sleepily muttered something involving the words ‘pineapple’ and ‘heathen’ before pulling the covers over himself.

“Sleep well, my love.”

Chapter Text

When Steve awoke the next morning, the bed was otherwise empty, and oddly cool. Usually Kaidan’s forays into the kitchen didn’t last long enough for his body imprint to disappear... unless he was having nightmares. Oh god, I hope it’s not that again. He heard the clatter of pots and pans, and got up to investigate. When Kaidan couldn’t keep the nightmares at bay, he baked; much as Steve enjoyed consuming the results of his boyfriend’s late-night cooking, he didn’t much care for the cause.

As he neared the kitchen’s entrance he caught the wisp of a tune, half sung/half hummed, over the sound of something frying on the stove. Okay, so probably not nightmares, then. That was an unexpected load off his mind.

Steve’s fears were banished completely as he entered the kitchen to find Kaidan cooking up a storm. There was coffee brewing on the wall, a plate of already fried ham slices, a stack of pancakes and a pitcher of apple juice on the table, and eggs frying on the stove. All of it made by the well-muscled biotic, who was dancing around the room wearing nothing but an apron, his fully-tattooed back on glorious display. His mind drifted to thoughts of tracing the dragon’s tail all the way to its tip, his tongue, and the absolutely filthy sounds he could coax out of the man.

“If you want to help, you could grab the syrup from the fridge, and set the table,” Kaidan said without turning around. Just like that, the daydream fantasy broke.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Steven Cortez you are a lucky son of a gun. He moved in behind his lover, lips grazing the sensitive spot he’d found last night between Kaidan’s shoulder blades. “Someone’s in a good mood this morning,” he said as he reached over to open a cupboard. “What time is it anyway?”

“About 0630,” he replied. “Y’know, the time I usually get up when I’ve had a good night’s sleep. It’s been a while since I’ve had one of those.”

Steve grinned as he thought about last night’s escapades. “I don’t recall a lot of sleeping happening.” He removed a couple of mugs from the shelf – well, the only mugs, and set them on the table. “I’m just glad you aren’t stress baking again. And I really, really like the outfit.”

He watched as Kaidan scooped the last of the fried eggs out of the pan, then turned off the stove. The plates of food levitated and made their way over to the table as the Major moved to drape his arms around him. “Thanks. I’m told it really brings out my eyes.” Man, once Kaidan was comfortable in his own skin, he was really comfortable. And there was a LOT of skin, and, if the day went well, he’d be exploring as much of it as possible.

“Yeah, your eyes are definitely what I was staring at.” Kaidan gave a surprised gasp as the pilot grabbed his behind with both hands. The dishes hit the table with a cacophony of clanks, as the biotic’s concentration broke.

“Jerk. Your hands are freezing.”

Steve snickered, “Sorry, Kaid. I couldn’t resist.”

Kaidan straightened up to stare down at him, clearly making the most of their height difference. “It’s a good thing I like you, Flyboy,” he said with a smirk, then bent down to capture Steve’s mouth with his own.

“Just ‘like’?” he asked.

“No, also like,” Kaidan corrected him. “I love you to pieces, Steven Alejandro Cortez. But, more importantly, I really, really like you. In fact, I don’t think there’s anything I don’t like about you. Even if you do insist on using me as your own personal hand-warmer.”

“What can I say? You’re ‘hot’ in every sense of the word.” His eyebrow waggle caused Kaidan to snort out a laugh.

“Come on, Flyboy, breakfast is... getting... uhhhh...” Steve barely had time to react as the six-foot tall biotic lost his footing and crashed to the ground.

__________________________________

Karin Chakwas pinned him with her well-practised (on him, anyway) ‘doctor look’. The one that said, “You know you’ve done something stupid, that I warned you not to do. And I’m not going to say it, but, I told you so.” without actually having to utter the words.

“I’m okay. Really.” Even Kaidan didn’t believe himself. “It’s not the worst migraine I’ve ever had.” Which was true. He’d only gotten dizzy from the sudden onset of an aura. The loss of consciousness was purely due to smacking his head off the kitchen table on his way to the floor. His head was still swimming, but at least he wasn’t bleeding anymore. And the pain meds and anti-nauseants were kicking in. A definite improvement, all things considered.

“Major Alenko, you know your triggers, and yet you persist in indulging--”

“I’m aware!” he snapped. The pain shortening his already short fuse. “Sorry, Doc. Temper’s been getting hard to keep under wraps these days. Thanks for coming. I’m sure you’ve got better things to do on your shore leave than looking after me.”

She let out a long sigh. “Apology accepted, Major. Though I didn’t do it for you,” she said glancing over to the chair where Steve Cortez had finally settled. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so worried.”

“Yeah. Guess I should talk to him, huh?,” he reluctantly admitted. “Thanks again, Karin. I owe you yet another one.”

“I’d never keep track of such things,” she said, “but if I did, I’d say two bottles of Serrice Ice Brandy would likely even us out.” She had a deadpan worthy of the great Bob Newhart. “I’d better not see you in my infirmary for a good long while, Major. Though I do hope you’re both planning on at least making an appearance at Shepard’s party.”

Had he missed an invitation while he was out? Steve spoke up for the both of them, “Of course. We’ll be there with bells on.” He caught a hint of mischief in the pilot’s eyes. “I wouldn’t put it past this one to take that literally.” Okay, that’s fair...

Cortez got up off his chair to see her out. They chatted a moment at the front door before he heard it close, though he was too far away to hear what was said. Steve seemed a little less tense when he returned. The doctor did have a calming effect on all those who met her, and he was grateful for her every day. She’d pretty much saved his sanity, and his life, after the Collector attack three years ago. Has it really been that long?

“You okay?” he asked Steve.

“I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to be asking you that,” Cortez replied. A non-answer if there ever was one; the look on Kaidan’s face must have said as much. “Yeah, the doc seems to think you’re alright, so I guess you are.”

“But?”

Steve sighed heavily as he sat on the edge of the bed beside him, “But, what happened scared me. You just collapsed and there was nothing I could do but watch. One second you were flirting up a storm with me, the next...” he clapped sharply.

Kaidan tugged on Steve’s arm in a silent plea for him to lie down beside him. “Not gonna lie, it scared the hell out of me too. But I swear to you my migraines almost never come on that fast. Luckily, the couple of times that they have, I wasn’t standing up.” Steve gingerly leaned up against his side, as if jostling him too hard would shatter him. “Or wearing nothing but an apron. Thanks for getting me into pants, by the way. I appreciate it.” He leaned back against the anxious pilot.

“Kaid, you told me all of your food triggers, right?”

“Yeah, pretty sure I did. Why?”

“And Siddha knows all of them too?”

“Far as I know, yes.”

“Then what did we order last night that caused the migraine to end all migraines?”

Kaidan went dead silent.

“Did you just lie to Dr. Chakwas?”

The Major nervously cleared his throat. “Uhhhhh... maybe. A little bit. It’s just... well... it’s a little embarrassing is all.”

“What is?”

“The cause,” he replied quietly. “At least, I’m pretty sure I know what it was.”

“And?”

“Sex,” Kaidan blurted out. His cheeks blossomed as he said the word.

Steve just blinked disbelievingly at him for a moment. “Say what?”

“Well, really mind-blowingly great sex actually.” After a few moments of no response from his boyfriend, he adds, “I swear to god, Steve, I am not making this up.”

“Uh-huh,” came the skeptical reply.

“Sex migraines are a real thing. I just didn’t want Karin to know precisely what triggered it. It’s only happened like twice before, which is why I wasn’t prepared for it.” He paused a moment for effect. “Of course, this doesn’t mean you get to slack off on banging me... or vice versa – I mean, unless that’s not the way you roll. I’m versatile, but I know not everyone is.”

“Kaidan, honey, if you don’t think I fantasize about having you inside me in every conceivable way, then you are gravely mistaken.” The room suddenly felt very warm.

“At least half a dozen ways come to mind, but you might have to be patient with me; it’s been a long time since I’ve topped a guy. I’m a little out of practise.”

“I look forward to being ‘practised’ on,” Steve said with a suggestive wink. “But it can’t have been that long, can it?”

Kaidan counted back in his head, doing the sums a few times just to be sure. “Twelve years, give or take a couple of months.”

“Twe-- you’re pulling my leg.”

“Mmm... nope. I was 23 the last time I had a boyfriend. All my partners since then have been women. And even then he only let me top when he’d had a few. Let’s just say he wasn’t exactly the most stand-up guy. He’s the reason I trust Micah’s instincts about my partners. She never liked Adam, and the feeling was mutual.”

“Sounds like a lovely human being.” Cortez’s voice dripped with sarcasm.

The Major sighed deeply as he remembered the failed relationship. “I met Adam Campbell a few weeks into OTC. He was one of those recruits who thought he was God’s gift to the military. I’m pretty him family just sent him to military school to get him out of their hair, or to bury a potential scandal.”

“I’ve met the type; more money than brains.”

He snuggled in against Steve, the way he only did when he was preparing to recount something uncomfortable. “Oh, he was smart enough. Also, arrogant, self-centered, charismatic, and good-looking. He and his friends noticed that I never went out after hours to any of the bars, clubs, or what-have-you. I mean, I was raising a kid basically on my own at that point. After class was for eating dinner with Mikey, watching silly cartoons, reading bedtime stories, and making breakfast and lunch for the next day. We lived in family quarters, well away from the barracks. It was nice, quiet, and there was a daycare nearby, and other military spouses to help out if I needed a break. I love my kid, but she can be a lot.

“But, I digress,” Kaidan stated, realizing he’d started to ramble. “Anyway, the bunch of them got it in their heads that I clearly needed to get laid. So, they made a bet...”

Steve closed his eyes, as if he could will the rest of his boyfriend’s story to change. “Shit.” The word came out as barely a whisper. This wasn’t going anywhere good.

“Yeah, pretty much.” Kaidan sighed dejectedly. “Most of them tried the direct approach: obvious flirting, talking me up – one even tried pulling me into a stall in the washroom and laying a kiss on me. That went poorly for them. Apparently, someone hadn’t learned the definition of ‘assault’ – or ‘biotic’ for that matter. Adam figured out that the ‘direct’ approach wasn’t going to work. He was a fuck-ton subtler about his approach.

“He made nice. Distanced himself from his compatriots. He figured out that what I needed was a friend, and he played the role perfectly. By the time we fell in bed together more than a month later, I was hooked. The so-called relationship only lasted three months.”

Steve’s arms were wrapped around him, pulling him softly against his chest. He could feel the pilot’s chin resting next to his ear; could hear the steady beat of his heart. It had been a long time since he’d spared any thought toward that period in his life. Juggling a new career, a family, and a social life had been hard, but at the time he’d thought it was worth it.

“How’d you find out?” Cortez asked.

“One of his friends got so drunk at a karaoke night, that she announced it to the entire mess hall,” Kaidan answered. “It was humiliating.”

“Please, tell me you broke his jaw?”

“No, but I did pour a beer in his lap, and ordered a round for the whole bar on his tab.” Kaidan smiled weakly. “Didn’t make me feel any better though. I went home, hugged my baby girl, and cried myself to sleep. Found out a couple days later Campbell had put in for a transfer off-world. Never saw the asshole again.”

"Good riddance," Steve said. "I'm sorry you had to go through that bullshit. I don't know if I could have trusted anyone again if it was me. For what it's worth, I think you're a prize worth keeping… . Almost as much as that varren stuffie."

Kaidan offered up some quality side-eye. "Hey, keep Toodles out of this."

"Sorry, love. How 'bout we take a nap together, and then we can have a conversation about the many things I want you to do to me." Steve waggled his eyebrows, even if his boyfriend couldn't see it.

"Sounds like an excellent plan to me." Kaidan rolled back onto his pillows and closed his eyes. "Then you can tell me all about this mysterious 'party' we're invited to."