Archive of Our Own ^beta

Akaashi Keiji was never a risk-taker. Never let his guard down. He was reserved and basically did the bare minimum just to get by. And it wasn’t like Akaashi didn’t have any friends, because he did, he just couldn’t act like himself around them. Because if anyone really knew him, they would know that he’s objectively weird in societal standards.

In junior high, he was known for being the stereotypical quiet and smart kid. He would participate the bare minimum in his classes, at least enough to get him to pass. Besides volleyball, he’d spend the rest of his free time in the local library. Some would say studying, but who knows? Only Akaashi really does.

Once highschool came around, everything changed. He applied and got into Fukurodani (his reasons being a secret kept from his Junior High friends) and even joined the school’s volleyball club, whom he got along with quite nicely.

And then there was Bokuto. Only a year older than Akaashi with this loud personality. He was friendly, and even the team would describe him as child-like and weird. But that was the best part. This was why he and Akaashi got along so well.

If you told Akashi’s former classmates from Junior High that he was best friends with Bokuto Kotarou and then proceeded to describe his exact personality, they would laugh and tell you, “Akaashi’s not like that! Those two sound like total opposites!”

Which, yes, is partly true. But if you were Bokuto, you would know how similar the two actually are.

The pair avidly enjoyed going to their local park and people watching, it was the funniest thing to them. Their guilty pleasure show is Glee, which Akaashi hates to admit. They like to tease and make fun of each other, without truly offending the other of course, though it’s more teasing on Akaashi’s side.

But there were “weird” aspects of Akaashi that not even Bokuto knew of. For one, he’s a picky eater. He hates the taste of mustard and ketchup, and additionally thinks cake — specifically birthday cake — is revolting. He has this routine throughout the day that he always makes sure to follow because he believes it’s what grants him good luck. And, when he visits the town library, it was never for studying in the first place, it was always to read cheesy romance mangas, it was basically an addiction at this point.

To top it all off, his biggest secret yet was that:

Akaashi Keiji is in love with Bokuto Kotarou.

Bokuto had been the one to get Akaashi’s walls, that he purposefully built up to never let anyone in, to come crashing down. He wasn’t the same as the Junior High Akaashi. No, he was just Akaashi. The Akaashi that his Junior High self was always afraid to show. And with Bokuto, it just came naturally.

“Bokuto-san —“

“Here!!” He was still in that energetic mood even after spending hours practicing, a couple hours after practice even ended. Akaashi always wondered what kept him so energized.

“Where do you get all that energy from?” Bokuto snaps his head towards his friend and cocks his head to the side and a smile is still clearly apparent.

He stops walking, “Hmm? Whaddya mean?”

Akaashi joins his stance, “Ah it’s nothing, just surprised you’re still fully energized even after…” he looks Bokuto up and down, as if he’s trying to prove a point, “that much practice. I mean, I'm here exhausted and I look absolutely atrocious! I’m sweating like a pig.” he laughs off his comment and finally chooses to make eye contact with Bokuto.

“Hey, don’t say that, Akaashi!” he puts both hands on Akaashi’s shoulders and leans closer to him while Akaashi fights back a blush, “You still look pretty!”

Pretty? “…Pretty?” Akaashi speaks shyly, turning his head and cutting eye contact.

“Yeah! Honestly, there are so many girls around the school fawning over you all the time, of course you’re pretty!” Bokuto gushes as if it were the most obvious thing ever, “Like, who wouldn’t fall in love with you?”

Thank god Akaashi was good at hiding how flustered he was.

“Heh yeah, definitely…” Bokuto could definitely hear the uncomfortableness in his tone.

“Don’t think I don’t notice you trying to hide your acne, Akaashi!” He playfully pokes Akaashi in the forehead, “You don’t need to cover up anything! With that already good-looking face of yours that acne means nothing.”

Akaashi should really keep count on how many times Bokuto compliments him on his looks but each time makes his whole nervous system break down, it’s kind of a problem.

“…“

Bokuto finally lets go of Akaashi who lets out a breath that he didn’t know he had been holding. Like come on, there can’t be so many girls always ogling over his looks, Akaashi would definitely know if there were.

“Let’s check out that new diner we saw the other day! I’m craving some burgers,” Bokuto hooks his arm through Akaashi’s and drags him along.

***

Akaashi returns home alone even after Bokuto’s constant pleas of, “Akaashi, let me walk you home!” and “Can I at least sleepover at yours?”

Even with Akaashi practically dying to say yes, he still responds with a no because, “My mom has work very early tomorrow morning, I can’t afford to make her any more grumpy than she already would be. Sorry,” leaving Bokuto to pout.

Well, his reasoning for Bokuto not sleeping over wasn’t exactly true. His mom could probably care less if Bokuto slept over. Akaashi and his mom are already super close, she is the only one who knows about his “crush” on Bokuto afterall. Perks of being raised by a single mother anyways.

Yet, there was no reason as to why Akaashi didn’t let Bokuto walk him home, except that it was getting harder and harder for Akaashi to bottle up those feelings for Bokuto inside. And he didn’t want to do — or even say — something he’d regret.

He walks through the front door, quickly waving to his mom in the kitchen, before hastily making it upstairs to his bedroom. To which he immediately shuts the door and jumps into bed, his Fukurodani uniform still on.

Frustrated with God knows what, Akaashi turns over, stomach on the bed, and buries his face into one of his pillows and screams as hard as he can because all Akaashi can remotely think about is Bokuto.

It’s not that it’s a bad thing though. To Akaashi, Bokuto is just your everyday teenage heartthrob, though Akaashi may be the only person in the school to think that. Seeing him makes Akaashi feel exactly like those girls in most romcoms. He wants to bury his face into his hands, slide down against the wall, blast love songs while singing and dancing around his room.

But of course, he doesn’t tell anybody that. That would be embarrassing.

Akaashi muffles his thoughts and finally chooses to get up and actually change out of his uniform into more comfortable clothes. Even then he still ends up flopping back on his bed in an attempt to sleep, which does not work in his favor.

He lays awake staring at his ceiling. Akaashi thinks about earlier in the day where Bokuto had grabbed him by the shoulder and then went and called him pretty. Pretty! Additionally, leaning far forward enough to make Akaashi very close to closing that small gap. Who does that? Who has the audacity to unknowingly make their own best friend fall in love with them?

Akaashi stifles in a yawn as he turns over to check the time until his face morphs into pure terror, “Oh shit, it’s already 5 AM?” How could thinking of Bokuto keep him from sleeping!

All Akaashi could think of was: what has gotten into him?

***

Practice hadn’t been going well for Akaashi and everyone else seemed to be a little worried for him. Particularly Bokuto. So, right on their break, Akaashi immediately runs to the bleachers and chugs his gatorade.

Before Bokuto can take a break of his own, one of the team’s managers, Shirofuku Yukie, approaches and mutters to him, “Hey, you should check on Akaashi,” and as if it were a force of habit, Bokuto turns his head to watch Akaashi, very aggressively chugging down a whole gatorade bottle and miserably sliding down against the gym wall til he slumps down in a sitting position in defeat.

He jogs over and crouches down in front of Akaashi, “Hey! You okay there? You seem off,” Bokuto watches with a concerned look as Akaashi stares back.

Akaashi sniffles, “Mhm, just had like — I don’t know — zero sleep,” he yawns.

“Akaashi! You can’t stay up all night binge watching —“

“Shut up, Bokuto-san!”

Bokuto lets out a boisterous laugh. The rest of the team, who are scattered around the gym, look their way and chuckle a bit. Akaashi attempts to glare at his ace but can’t help but make a very uncomfortable looking face. Well, anything but a glare. Akaashi could barely control his face from the total exhaustion caused by his sleep deprivation because he was thinking of his best friend in a not so platonic way.

“You’re too funny, Akaashi,” a normal catchphrase for Bokuto that Akaashi knows all too well, which he tends to say in a teasing tone. This time, it was filled with fondness and warmth. Bokuto even daring to look Akaashi dead in the face with the utmost soft look Bokuto could ever make. Akaashi couldn’t help but stare. It was addicting to look at because he always found Bokuto rather good looking but now with a rare and the most sincere expression on? It made Akaashi malfunction in many different ways. It felt like his heart and brain had both stopped functioning.

Akaashi violently shook his head and slapped himself. Ignoring the concerned look on Bokuto’s face, Akaashi stands himself up, with a little support from the wall, “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be okay.” Akaashi took a single step forward but clearly not a big enough step as he tripped and fell.

He was not in fact okay.

***

Valentine’s Day.

Akaashi didn’t necessarily hate the day, it was just your average 14th day of the month except that people had an excuse to be all cheesy and gross. But, Akaashi also liked the day because it gave himself an excuse to watch cheesy rom-coms and talk about it, and read romance mangas in public.

This year was different however. This Valentine’s Day he actually has someone he is in love with and wants to do all those lovey dovey cheesy things with. That probably makes him sound like a creep, huh? At least he isn’t saying this stuff out loud, pretty embarrassing if he had to say so himself.

Anyways, Akaashi couldn’t help but make homemade chocolates anyways. He didn’t even know why. He was in no way prepared to profess his love to Bokuto. This was his closest friendship yet and he wasn’t prepared for it to end just because Akaashi couldn’t keep his mouth shut. If anything, Akaashi would probably end up eating the chocolates himself, no love is better than self-love, right?

So, Akaashi stands over the kitchen counter with his hands pressed against it. He stares at his chocolates, contemplating on what he wants to do with them. He continues to stare as his mom walks into the room.

She approaches Akaashi, who doesn’t move a hair, and grabs one of the chocolates and pops it into her mouth, “Mm! Those are amazing, Keiji. Bokuto is definitely lucky!”

Akaashi jumps back flustered, “NO. I am absolutely not giving these to him! Do you know how embarrassing that would be? I’m eating these myself!” His mom laughs.

“Fine, but you have to share them with me at least when I get home from work,” She kisses his cheek and waves as she walks away.

Sometimes being best friends with your mom has its downsides.

But now he didn’t have to worry about giving the chocolates to Bokuto. He “promised” his mom he would share the chocolates and have fun like they did every Valentine’s Day. It’s not like he had practice anyway.

And whaddya know, guess who’s plan had backfired? For some reason, Akaashi had made the grand decision to bring his homemade chocolates to school, including putting them in a nice heart shaped container. In which he may or may not have put “To: Bokuto” on the tag.

Akaashi was stressed out of his mind. He even went out of his way to avoid the other boy. Instead of meeting him in front of school so Bokuto would walk him to class, Akaashi may have purposely left his house a little later to avoid waiting for Bokuto, even risking being late to class. Akaashi would coward in the hallways, which was hard because he actually was pretty tall. And to top it off, Akaashi even went to the boys’ restroom to eat lunch instead of eating with Bokuto.

Fortunately for Akaashi, because there was no practice, he was able to walk straight home. Or at least he tried to.

The sound of footsteps could be heard behind him, each getting faster and faster. Before Akaashi could process, a big hand lands on his shoulder and turns him around. It was Bokuto.

“Akaashi! Where have you been all day? It was like you disappeared or something!”

Akaashi couldn’t get himself to look him in the eyes, the chocolates that hid in the corner of his bag swayed his mind, “Oh yeah, sorry. I’ve just been…tired. Yeah, tired all day,” He shifts his bag to the other shoulder awkwardly, “Could you not bear to live a day without me?” Akaashi teases.

“Hey! Don’t make fun of me, I was lonely all day, y’know?” Bokuto whines, “I bet you got a lot of chocolates today!” Now that he thought about it, Akaashi did actually seem to get a few confessions from girls today. Huh, Bokuto was right after all, but how come he noticed rather than Akaashi himself?

“Yeah, I guess I did. How about you? You seem like you’d get a few.” Akaashi remembered eating alone with Bokuto and seeing all the girls gawking over them, most likely over Bokuto with him being the Volleyball team captain afterall.

Bokuto laughs, “Me? Why would I get any? I mean, it’s not like I would accept any,” the last bit made Akaashi’s heart drop and he tries to hide his disappointment, albeit hard when Bokuto can practically smell his emotions.

In Akaashi’s moment of grief, he spots something red peeking out from Bokuto’s bag, “Hey, what’s that in your bag?” Akaashi squints and walks a little closer to Bokuto.

“AH! IT- it’s nothing!! Um, could I stay over at yours? My parents have this work meeting type thing so it’s best if I’m probably not home right now…”

Confused, Akaashi shrugs off how weirdly flustered the latter got and the random topic change, “Wow, Bokuto-san, my house already? You should at least ask me out to dinner first.”

“Oh my god!”

Akaashi laughs all the way to his house.

Akaashi’s mom wasn’t home yet, meaning he was left home alone with Bokuto. It honestly shouldn’t be a problem except for the fact that Akaashi was head over heels for the guy.

Bokuto flopped over on the couch without a problem in the world, it’s not like Bokuto had been over practically a thousand times already. On the other hand, Akaashi went over to the kitchen. He made sure there was a bit of distance between the two, also the fact that Bokuto wouldn’t be able to see his flustered face.

“I can heat up some frozen pizza if you want to turn the TV on or even the radio?”

“Alrighty!”

Akaashi rummages through the fridge to find one of their oddly many frozen pizzas. He could hear Bokuto walking over to the little radio in the living room and the sound of different genres of music changing until stopping on a very peculiar one.

“Love songs?” Akaashi mumbles to himself but loud enough for Bokuto to overhear.

“It is Valentine’s Day, right?” Bokuto moves back onto the couch.

Through all the pushing of buttons from the microwave and whatnot, Akaashi stops to listen in on the music. The current song is an apparent English song. One that Akaashi actually knew of. Which was another guilty pleasure of his, that being cheesy American pop songs.

“Woah you know the lyrics to this song?” Akaashi gets startled by Bokuto’s voice. Apparently, Akaashi was subconsciously singing along. Not like the song basically told his love life quite perfectly.

“I guess I do.”

“Never would’ve taken you as a hopeless romantic.”

“I wouldn’t say that, my love life is more complicated really…” He trails off when he realizes that he would soon be saying too much. Tonight was most definitely not the night for this.

A weird silence filled the air, thankfully both of their backs were turned. Akaashi stays focused on his fingers tapping against the counter, or counting the tiles along the backsplash in the kitchen. Or his thoughts of Why is Bokuto being so quiet?.

The beeping of the microwave halts his thoughts as another voice joins in at the same time, “Hey, ‘Kaashi, let’s eat outside! It seems pretty nice out!”

Akaashi doesn’t have time to decline as Bokuto already rushes to the front door. With a sigh, Akaashi carefully slides the pizza out of the microwave and brings along two paper plates, making sure to bring the whole pizza because he wouldn’t put it past the two to eat more than a single slice.

“ ‘ Hey, ‘Kaashi, let’s eat outside. It seems pretty nice out. '’ “ Akaashi mocks in a monotone voice. Outside it’s cold and the sky is full of clouds, it’s on the verge of raining. And just with their luck, the boys accidentally lock themselves out of the house and are stuck until Akaashi’s mom gets home.

At least he’s stuck with Bokuto out of all people. But again, he’s stuck with Bokuto out of all people.

“Ou’re uppo’ed ‘o be my beft fend, Akaa’hi! Ou ‘an’t tease me!” Bokuto whines as he stuffs his entire mouth with pizza.

Akaashi lets out a soft laugh and looks back at Bokuto, gazing up at the sky in awe, happily chewing on his pizza. Who could ever look at such a gloomy day with such happiness? Specifically the one and only Bokuto. Akaashi can’t help but stare at the beautiful boy sitting next to him. So, he joins his gaze and looks up at the sky.

He doesn’t know what Bokuto sees in such a depressing setting, but he does find some sort of beauty in it all. But, in a blink of an eye, Akaashi can feel a single drop of water kiss his cheek.

One after the other, starting at a slow drizzle to a now light pour, it starts to rain.

For some reason Akaashi turns to Bokuto, who’s already looking directly at him. There’s something about Bokuto’s face at that moment that Akaashi can’t put his finger on. Like some sort of emotion Akaashi can’t put into words. It gives him an urge to move in just a little closer. Instead, Bokuto slowly puts his hand out in front of him.

“Wanna play in the rain?” Instead of his usual playful demeanor, Bokuto speaks with this genuine voice. And not your average confidence like for matches or games, but such a wholesome and kinda way that makes it hard for Akaashi to decline.

And in a heartbeat he does just that, he puts his hand into Bokuto’s outstretched hand and goes, “You’re such a child, Bokuto-san,” with an endearing smile growing on his face.

With their shoes off, drenched hair and soggy clothes, the two run along the street. Yelling and laughing as if it was just them two in the whole world.

Bokuto splashes Akaashi with the dirty street water and Akaashi doesn’t seem to mind. Akaashi goes and splashes him right back. It was as if they were making up for not meeting when they were children, for not being able to be kids together.

In the end, Akaashi plops onto the gross flooded street, still laughing. He stares up at the crying sky until he realizes he’s crying too.

But, why?

He can’t help it, the tears start streaming down like a broken faucet, but somehow he can’t get himself to let out any sort of noise. He sits on his knees, his hands covering his face because he can’t bear to face Bokuto crying for no reason.

Something wraps around him, in a hug and he looks up, it’s Bokuto.

“You okay, Akaashi?”

Bokuto retracts to face Akaashi, it’s just enough to see his face. Akaashi’s heart stops for the millionth time Bokuto has looked at him in that way. He realizes he’s never seen anything as beautiful.

“I think I’m in love with you,” Akaashi says so nonchalantly and naturally. He hadn’t planned on saying it, he planned on keeping the thought to himself for practically the rest of his life. He wanted to hide the thought away to watch Bokuto be happy without him, to watch Bokuto fall in love, get married, and have kids of his own with some random person while the thought of being in love with Bokuto would stay locked away forever.

And here Akaashi was, crouched down, literally locked outside of his house, drenched on a wet street, in a waterfall of tears, in Bokuto’s muscular arms, telling his best friend the one thought that he never wanted to ever share.

Bokuto’s quiet, for once, his eyes wide open and mouth open agape. In the smallest voice he manages to choke out, “Are you for real, Akaashi?” Akaashi doesn’t respond, he stares back as if Bokuto will take it as an answer, “Do you think, or do you know?” Akaashi gets caught off guard.

He’s hesitant to answer but ultimately manages to say, “Know what?”

“Do you think or do you know that you’re in love with me?”

He frankly doesn’t know how to respond, “…I-“

“Because I know,” he swallows, “I know for sure that I’m in love with you.”

Akaashi looks back at Bokuto all starry eyed. He doesn’t know if it’s even real life at this point. He doesn’t even know how to remotely think.

Bokuto looks impatient in a way while waiting for Akaashi’s response until he just can’t hold it anymore and blurts out, “Can I kiss you, Akaashi?”

Without hesitation, Akaashi just nods because he's been waiting for this if not but the moment he met Bokuto. He fights back all those urges of keeping himself from just kissing Bokuto square on the mouth for every single little stupid thing he does.

Bokuto cups his big calloused hands around Akaashi’s jaw, and uses his thumbs to wipe the remaining tears from his face. He looks at him again to give him time to back out, of course Akaashi doesn’t take up the chance and wraps his arms around Bokuto and instead closes the gap himself, feeling pleased with the surprised grunt he gets out of Bokuto.

Akaashi wants to call it great because it’s his first kiss and doesn’t have anything to compare it to, but Bokuto is this mix of sweet and gentle with rough and messy, everything Akaashi had expected. Though they don’t say it out loud, it's actually kind of gross too. They’re kissing in the rain -- how romantic too -- and they’re both dirty from sitting on the street, hungrily grabbing onto soaked wet clothes and wet hair.

When they finally break apart, Bokuto keeps his hands cupped on Akaashi’s jaw while his arms are still wrapped around Bokuto’s neck. And for some reason, Bokuto laughs and engulfs Akaashi in an unexpected hug. Akaashi doesn’t know why but he squeezes Bokuto back, lightly laughing as well.

They’re both awkwardly sitting and hugging each other as if they’ll be torn apart any second, giggling and laughing at everything and nothing all at once.

Bokuto pushes away and suddenly spits out, “ ‘Kaashi, do you even know how long I’ve been in love with you?”

“Well, do you know how long I’ve been in love with you?”

“I mean…” he leans in dangerously close to Akaashi, enough for their noses to brush, “I wish I had known sooner.”

Even flustered, Akaashi manages to let out a small smirk. He pulls up his own hand and brings it up to brush Bokuto’s wet hair back and kiss his cheek softly. But, Bokuto goes and shakes his head around, letting water fling everywhere — mostly on Akaashi.

He laughs, “Hey! You asshole!” and backs up to quickly splash Bokuto right back. Before Bokuto can react, Akaashi jumps up and runs a little ways away, making Bokuto chase after him. So, Bokuto jumps up as well and runs after him.

Akaashi turns around and is immediately enveloped in another hug. He’s held by his waist as Bokuto spins them around in glee and both are laughing again like there’s no tomorrow.

Bokuto lowers Akaashi down and sloppily kisses him once again.

“You’re such a sap…”

“Only for you!”