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It should have been one of the happiest days of his life. The sound of the laughter of a few dozen kids drifted up through the second story bathroom window, and Jared could pick out the high-pitched giggles of his son and daughter.
Monsters.
It wasn’t their fault, of course. But still, deep down, Jared hated them. Hated their soft brown hair, the same shade as his own, and the bright green eyes of their father.
Jared felt sick.
His whole life, he’d been forced to mould himself into what society expected of an omega, but he’d secretly taken illegal suppressants ever since he’d moved out of his parents house at eighteen. Then Jensen had moved into the apartment next door to his. Somehow, the nearness of the strong alpha had flipped a biological switch in Jared and sent him spiraling into the worst heat he’d ever had, the suppressants doing nothing to calm it.
Jensen had practically broken down the door, growling deep as Jared had rolled over, a complete slave to his most base urge, and given himself to Jensen.
He had hated himself ever since.
He’d tried at first to forget it, but it was impossible. Jensen had claimed him, he wasn’t much more than Jensen’s property at that point. Jared had gone deep within himself the day Jensen had moved all of Jared’s stuff into his apartment. His body still responded, but robotic like. Jared had buried his broken heart and will under a thick veil of uncaring. He hadn’t felt pain, or hope, love or despair.
Until he’d found that he was pregnant with Jensen’s pups.
Jensen had been over the moon, talking excitedly to Jared about buying a home, which he’d been saving up for since the day they’d mated, and once that was done, there was so much to plan for. The color of the nursery, names for the babies, the congratulations of friends and family, the showers and baby clothes, everything they needed for their growing family.
A family Jared hated.
He’d hid it well, he thought. Giving Jensen his body whenever he asked, acting like a proud daddy-to-be, grinning as if he was the happiest man alive.
But the deep buried hatred had done a number on his body, and when he’d gone into early labour, his body gushing blood and Jensen crying in terror, Jared had felt a grim sort of satisfaction. It was better for him to die, and the little monsters too, than keep on living an existence he didn’t want.
Unfortunately, he’d delivered two healthy, if tiny, babies, his body had recovered, and Jensen had become the best mate ever, attentive, loving, caring.
Jared wanted none of it.
Sometimes he dreamed about tying Jensen to the bed and cutting off his cock, nice and slow, grinning manically at Jensen’s screams and the spurts of blood that would spray his whole body. Other times he imagined going down the hall in the middle of the night and getting rid of the monsters.
But he never had. He was a coward, the worst kind of person, too weak to even carry out his revenge.
But now… Now, he could do it. He’d been sneaking pills for months, random ones taken in the middle of the night when he’d slunk off to the bathroom, always making sure to hurry, hurry, make sure Jensen was never suspicious. And if the pharmacy had mistakenly miscounted a prescription, well, what could Jared do about that?
Now he sat, locked in the bathroom, holding an old aspirin bottle three quarters of the way full with random pills.
Jared was sure it was enough to kill him.
Would anyone miss him? He wondered blindly, thinking of the kids and families gathered in his backyard for the twins fifth birthday. He shook his head, remembering that he wasn’t supposed to care. He felt the tears well in his eyes, drip down his cheeks. Did anyone even remember him anymore? He felt like he wasn’t even a person anymore, just an extension of Jensen and the babies he’d been forced to give life to.
JaredandJensen.
He heard with crystal clarity then, the sound of someone asking where Jared was. His heart started to pound in his chest when he heard Jensen answer that he didn’t know, that he’d go look for Jared in a moment.
There was a fluttering deep in his stomach and rage blinded him. Another pup, a parasite, unwanted by its host.
Well, he’d be rid of it, and his own secret shame, soon enough. He poured several pills into his palm, tossed them back, and swallowed them dry. The next few he took with water, cupping his hands under the sink faucet and washing them down, until he swallowed the last one.
Then he waited.
He heard the backdoor open, a sure sign Jensen was coming to look for him, but it sounded like he was hearing it through a tunnel. There were cramps in his back, his stomach, and he felt like he was going to hurl his very guts up, but he clenched his teeth and kept swallowing against the feeling.
It seemed like forever but was really only minutes before Jensen found him, curled up, attempting to hide beside the toilet.
“Jared, baby, what’s wrong…?”
Jensen knelt by him, then gasped when he saw the empty pill bottle clutched in Jared’s hand.
“Oh, my God, Jared, what have you done?!”
Jared grinned, a macabre look on his pale face. Jensen shuddered, then knocked the pill bottle away, slapping Jared with his other hand.
“Damn you, Jared, why would you do this?!”
Jared coughed, bright blood bubbling up through his lips, and he felt satisfaction when he saw the horror in Jensen’s eyes.
“Fuck..you. I never...wanted this. Never wanted you. Those bastard kids… This one.”
A hand curled over his stomach, and he eyed it distantly, not really realizing it was his own. Jensen moaned, a low, broken sound.
“You… you’re pregnant?”
Jared laughed, coughing up more blood.
“No..not anymore. Got...what I wanted. Freedom. From you. From what you made me into.”
Jensen started to cry as he pulled Jared close, sobbing as he cradled the man he loved, watching him die before his very eyes.
“Why? Why, Jared? Do you hate me so much?”
Jared nodded, his eyelids growing heavy.
“Always… Hated myself more.”
Jared sighed, a deep gurgling sound as he choked on his own blood, the pills destroying him from the inside out.
The last sound he ever heard was Jensen’s heartbroken howl.