Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

This is the LAST one of these I'll make, all hoping. No promises. It just didn't feel right going radio silent on this for what's now two years I'm so sorry

So I would hope that's it's already apparent by the title and note in the summary but yes I am going back and making a BUNCH of switch-a-roos. Recently. As in this year. And possibly cutting some chapters altogether because I really hate some of them now. It's so weird like I started this in high school and now I'm about to go to college in a few days 💀 I do have lots of free time now so I hopefully this shouldnt take too long. I marked the chapters that I've already changed (As of now, in the document, I'm up to chapter 7. Already 50 pages long.) so anything past that point may be a little weird regarding certain details and plot points and whatnot. So just keep that in mind, old and new. Yes this is a very disorganized way of doing things but it'll be tidy soon on some real shit.

I'm kinda thinking about changing the title too but it'll most likely remain the same. 'Father of the Year Accidentally Gives his Child PTSD' doesn't have a ring to it.

I am in the kitchen I promise. Cooking like you'd never believe. 

Technically you guys are getting new content though so like 🤓☝️worth the little update I believe 

Chapter Text

Disappointment after disappointment, almost enough to make a grown man cry.

Did he ask for much? Too many expectations in too little of a time frame? This was his son , after all, the least he could do was try to give him some slack…but then one day of mediocre Katamaris turned into two, then two turned into three, and then? Before he knew it, those days turned into a week.

Is his wrist acting up, or was he doing this on purpose? Something had been off with the boy for a while now, he’s grown all tantrum-y and attitude-y, not very Princely at all. He shakes his head at him more than he nods nowadays.

Clean your room, Prince! Nuh-uh.

Eat your vegetables or you’ll end up just like one! Even that failed to scare him anymore.

The Queen shrugged it off as nothing more than a rebellion phase when he voiced his concerns to her one night, but something wasn’t adding up. They had at least, what, seven more years until they had to deal with that? Terrible Sixes weren’t real, they would’ve put it in the books if there was such a thing! No, see, The King’s been doing his own thinking and reflecting, and it’s led him to a bitter conclusion —The Prince only ever acted out around him. All giggles and smiles with The Queen, he’s seen them, the only thing she’s ever had to scold him for as of late was him sneaking sweets way after his bedtime.

Thing is, what’s gotten into him? When his own noggin failed, he was left with no other choice but to dig out the good old Thinking Crown™ . Ah, maybe it was….no, that being-taped-to-a-bowling-pin incident was forever ago. A whole two months, nobody holds a grudge for that long. Plus, The King believed hs more than made up for that - it was his best apology yet! A Princedom, with a little cake on it and everything…oh, but he did forget to tell The Prince that the cake wasn’t edible…

Perhaps there simply wasn’t a reason after all, children can be so fickle sometimes. And if that was the case, The King needed to put a stop to that posthaste — you know how much nerve you have to have to act in such a way and still have your father give you handcrafted gifts? Naughty, the naughtiest The Prince has ever been taking advantage of the poor King’s caring patience, his kindness, how cruel! He had a bitter feeling that they’d been spoiling the boy, and this was nothing but proof. 

This evening, The Prince stood on his right hand while he observed the Katamari, hoping that this would be the one to break the streak of agony. A turnover or two, he sighed —  no, of course this wouldn’t be the one.  Not that he’d ever imagined this to be possible, but the Katamari managed to be worse than the others this week, the abundance of small items making it very clear that no effort was put into this relatively simple task.

“This….it’s that thing…that THING We can’t STAND. What did We ask for? A simple Katamari, 70 meters, and you come back with this? Lazy Prince, not only do you bring shame to yourself, but to Us as well!”

The shame of having such an unruly, disobedient son had been weighing down on The King’s shoulder for a while now. Where in the world had he gone wrong? When did he get so soft? Whatever happened to being able to make The Prince listen to him with a mere look? Did The Queen have something he didn’t?

The Prince refused to meet his gaze — the nerve of that boy! Now he’s ignoring him??

“Look at Us when We're speaking to you, Prince of All Incompetence! Look at this. Far from 70, yes? Apology worthy, yes?” The King raised a brow as he waited for Prince to get himself together. Low and behold, that moment never came. All he got was a meek nod, and was that a sniffle? A tear? Why, it was far too late to force the waterworks, yet he admired how clever The Prince’s thinking was. Tears would get most people out of trouble, nobody wants to be mean while tears are on the loose, right? Neither did The King, but that rule only went for genuineness. 

“This is the eighth day you’ve done this to Us, moon-brained Prince. Is this funny to you? Do you get joy out of giving Us these pitiful balls of trash and watching Us fret? We're starting to believe that you very much do."

This time, The Prince looked up with a face full of confusion. He’s puzzled about how his father figured out his true intentions, no doubt about it — silly Prince, he had no idea how sharp his father’s mind is. Only one of the many things he had to learn about being a proper king, though with the way things are going now, he didn’t see that happening anytime soon. No, no, he mustn't get distracted, not when he’s supposed to be striking authority.

“Oh, don’t look at Us like that! You know better, Prince, and trying to put on a show isn’t getting you out of trouble.”

“N-no, you said- you said 50!”

“Nonsense!” The King’s voice boomed, paying no mind to the heavy sobs that came from his son. The Prince had a good shot at an acting career if he could bring himself to talk more, he’d hand that to him. You know what he didn’t enjoy? Lies, especially lies that are as transparent as the one he just heard. What did The Prince take him for, a fool? Absolutely not, he remembered the orders he gave him just like he could remember that kid's birthday, which was of course on…

You get the point.

 “Not only do you bring us this pathetic doorstopper, but you have the decency to lie as well! To Us, your own father! Maybe your lack of obedience is Our fault. We've been a little too laid back lately…We thought it was for the greater good, but apparently, you see it as an excuse to goof off instead of doing your job, then expect Us to shrug it off like it’s nothing! Well, We’ll show you, Prince, if that’s the sort of game you want to play!”

As most punishments go, most of it becomes a blur. He most certainly remembers using his magnificent cosmic powers to summon up the lasers of all lasers — definitely one to write about in the journal, he’s so proud! At some point, the boy left his hand and began to flee, but it’s not like there was anywhere for him to go. The doors were closed, and The King knew that not even the shrimpy Prince could pry them open.

Figuring that he hid… somewhere , the exact hiding place only drew blanks, he shot lasers every which way. A painting or few might’ve been destroyed, along with his favorite mug and slippers, but that was the least of his worries at the moment. And then…oh, what else…surprise surprise, with fear-fueled adrenaline, The Prince was able to open the doors after all. Trying to escape from a well-deserved punishment was a huge pet peeve, who does that? Rushing up from his throne and grabbing the doorway, The King made a well-aimed shot down the hall leading to the staircase. There was the satisfying sizzling of a laser that The King enjoyed, and then…then…

Silence?

Nada, zilch, nothing. No footsteps, no crying, just droning silence. There was a hunch, a dreadful-yet-funny-feeling hunch that…there was a slight, teeny tiny possibility that something was wrong. Feeling some of his anger simmer down and waiting around to see if something else would happen, he was still met with the quietness of a library.

Oh, okay. So teeny tiny just bumped up to tiny.  Going to a size that would make it fairly easier to find The Prince (because I remembered they can just do that), he slowly left the comfort of his throne room. Maybe there’s nothing wrong, and The Prince is just…oh, he didn’t know, playing dead to get out of things? That wouldn’t work of course, but at least it would get rid of this awful feeling that The King had done something terribly wrong. 

Searching every inch of the hall, The Prince was nowhere to be seen. Not under the fibers, not in any mouse holes, and not in any corners. So with said search being a total failure, the only other option he had left was to check the stairs, yes? Boo, not how he wanted to spend the day…and a huge part of his royally royal consciousness was telling him not to check those stairs, that nothing good would come of it. He shushed his silly thoughts just as quickly, why would his own son be nothing good? 

Slowly creeping down the steps, he assured himself that everything was fine, and whatever happened, he was totally in the right and couldn’t be blamed for it, yes. Even with self-comfort, he still felt uneasy…oh, how he wished that would go away…he peered over the top as he held the railing.  Looking around, he spied with his little eye, something…

Oh.

It hit him, and it hit him hard . 

A trembling hand made its way to The King’s mouth, his legs planted to the ground in fear as his eyes refused to leave the sight before him. He should be running over to him, making sure he was alright and trying to shake him awake, check for injuries, anything that an ordinary parent would do…but he couldn’t move, hell, he could barely take a proper breath as he stared downwards.  For a moment, he thinks that he drifted off to sleep, and this was a nightmare…but even his worst nightmares weren’t this terrifying. He forced himself to speak, his voice coming out as a mere squeak. “P-Prince?”

No answer, just a faint echo. He put more firmness into his voice, yet traces of fear were still there, “Prince, cut it out this instant!”

He’s not talking, he hasn’t even twitched. 

 Before he could gather enough will and courage to rush down the stairs and do what he should’ve done in the first place, he heard the doors to the castle open — he’d be miffed about forgetting to lock them if he didn’t have bigger problems — and two voices filled the hall, one belonging to Macho’s and the other to Nik’s. They were arguing about snacks, drinks, something he could care less about. 

“Your highness, are you here?! Nik and I need to…Prince?”

He hid quickly once he finally regained control of his legs, his heart pounding rapidly in trepidation. He wasn’t able to see what the two cousins did from there, and he certainly didn’t want to blow his cover trying to take a peek. He could hear it all perfectly fine, and hearing their tone of voice shift from confused to panicked as they realized something was wrong didn’t make him feel better at all . 

“He…he, how’d he…?”

“I-I don’t know, Nik! Um…m-maybe he fell down the stairs? Prince…PRINCE, wake up man!”

“Macho, h-he’s out cold, he’s-”

“I know, I know …um…Nik, go see if you can find The Queen, tell her there's been an accident,” Responsible Macho, remaining calm throughout the ordeal. That’s worthy of a lifetime supply of cookies…such an awful thing to think about at a time like this. Nik had returned with Odeko instead, and…they managed to get The Prince to wake up, but The King found it hard to be overjoyed when all he could hear were the boy’s small wails of discomfort — he didn’t want his mind to cross over to the chance that it was pain making him cry like that, he had enough guilt weighing him down. 

“Sorry Macho, I tried to find her b-but I didn’t know where to look…but I got Odeko! He's the next best thing! Second best, maybe..”

“I’m right here, you know.”

“That’s fine, Nik, don’t sweat it. I got him to wake up while you were out, he’s pretty out of it…"

"Oh, his eye!"

"It looks like someone clocked him good.”

He should be the one tending to those injuries. But, problem, he’d have to come clean, and there’s no way he’d be able to lie with a straight face and a stable tone of voice. They’d figure it out straight away, and he’d be shunned for who knows how long. No, he can’t go down there.

Not yet. He couldn’t bear to get a close-up look at the damage he inflicted.

The last thing Macho expected upon entering the castle was to see one of his younger cousins at the bottom of the stairs, face down.

He also didn’t expect it to be so scary. Yet here he was, on the floor as he tried to keep himself collected for everyone’s sake. The Prince wouldn’t move. Not when he touched him, not when he shouted his name, nothing. Nik freaking out just a few inches behind him wasn’t helping his case at all, so he sent the chubby cousin to search for The Queen, or just help in general. He got The Prince off the floor with careful movements, wincing when he got a good look at him. His right eye was a nasty shade of purple and red, something that would undoubtedly sting in the morning, and maybe there’s something wrong with his wrist too, it looked funny…

Those injuries didn’t worry him as much as the ones that he couldn’t see, leading him to wonder what the hell happened. Eventually, with enough pestering, he was able to get him awake the moment Nik and Odeko walked through the door. Not the help he had in mind, but if The Queen was nowhere to be found, this was their best bet.

“What happened to his eye?!” Nik gasped sympathetically as he ran over, both hands over his mouth. Frankly, not even Macho could think of an explanation for how it happened. Most people don't tend to hit their eyes while tumbling, not unless he’s been doing it wrong for all these years. Shrugging, he answered, “I know, looks like someone clocked him good.”

“Ah, so The Prince is injured,” Odeko nodded after everything clicked — Nik was probably so panicked that he couldn’t even give a proper description of the situation. “There’s no way to know for sure unless we hear it from Prince himself, but I believe he’s had a little accident with the stairs. It’s best to get him to the medical ward at once, but I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Ace got pushed down these once by Foomin and he bounced back just fine.”

“Wasn’t that around the time the whole butt-change happened?” 

…

“Got it,” Macho quickly moved on and nodded, looking at The Prince. “Think you can walk, big guy? Or you going for a piggyback ride?"

He reached out for him as an answer, Macho’s heart sinking seeing just how sad he looked, a miracle he wasn’t crying harder than he already was. Though it took a while, Macho got The Prince on his back, holding on as tight as he could without causing greater harm. His arms fell in an unnaturally limp fashion around the strong cousin’s shoulders, something else being mumbled that he couldn’t make out.  “Don’t worry, Princey, we’ll get you all better soon, okay?”

And hopefully, they could get some answers too.

Chapter Text

“How many fingers am I holding up, your Majesty?”

“Fesen.”

“And how about now?”

"Bine..”

“Bless your atom-sized heart,” Odeko mumbled to himself, writing observations on a notepad. Macho sent a glare, forever a mystery whether it was intentionally ignored or not,  sitting next to The Prince in one of the many medical cots. Out of sympathy, he held a bag of ice onto the other’s battered eye. The Prince slouched against the wall, the uncovered eye occasionally fluttering shut. Macho wanted nothing else but to let him sleep, but Odeko heavily objected to it — sleeping with a potential concussion was apparently a bad idea, something about a coma? And so, Nik’s job was to keep him awake...not really a job, some would differ, but at least he could feel like he was helping too. 

“Obviously, our fellow cousin isn’t in his right state of mind,” Odeko cleared his throat before speaking, reading the notes made. “He thinks I’m Odeon, Nik is Miki, and his speech is beyond comprehensible. It’s safe to say that however he fell, it did a number to the head and wrist. I’m afraid they’ll have to cut if off —”

“Odeko!!”

“I’m just playing, it’s fine! It’s broken, that’s all, a cast will fix it up.”

“He’ll be okay, right?” Nik asked with wavering hope, Odeko giving a look of uncertainty.

"Ah...yeah, you can say that. However, I'd say this is worthy of notifying The Queen about.”

"And not The King?" Nik frowned. 

"Not unless you feel like being the brave soul to go up there and tell him that we found his darling son out cold by the stairs. Who exactly do you think he'll pin the blame on?"

 Casting a sympathetic look towards Macho's way, Nik tsked. "The Queen it is."

“Thought you said you couldn't find her, Nik?"

 “Then evidently, he didn’t look hard enough,” Odeko nearly sneered, placing the board on a nearby table. “Not to worry, I have no problem going out to retrieve her! You two watch him, and please don’t let him fall asleep or we’ll be dealing with something worse than a nap.”

“Odeko!" The other two scolded simultaneously as Odeko strolled towards the door. 

“I kid, I kid! Just keep an eye on him and he’ll be fine. Later.”

Waiting until he was out of earshot, Nik sighed…getting Odeko of all people probably wasn’t a wise move after all, he’d forgotten how peculiar his sense of humor could be. Then again, it’s not like there was anyone else he could go to for help other than The King, and the royal being didn’t take kindly to being interrupted during lunch. Certainly, peanut butter and jelly would take the backseat when it came to his own injured kid, but everyone’s mind had been too frantic to even think about The King first.

They’d better get an explanation fast — once The King hears word about this he’d jump to conclusions,one of them would be to blame. Out of him, Macho and Odeko, he had a bad feeling that he was the least favorite...

“I don’t think it was just the stairs,” Macho broke the uneasy silence that had fallen, leaning slightly to look down at Nik sitting on the floor. “I don’t know, it’s just his eye…that’s not really something that comes from falling.”

“Not unless he hit something on the way down?”

 “Yeah, like what?” The King kept those stairs spick and span at all times, he’d rather die than let the tiniest speck of mess hit them. “Uncle’s a neat freak, he’d never leave anything out.”

They couldn’t think of any other way that could’ve happened, nor could they at least think of an explanation that didn’t sound downright impossible. No, hitting the banister couldn’t be it, they’d be in way bigger trouble if that were the case. Silly Nik, nobody can just accidentally punch themselves while falling, not that hard. That had to be done with a fist, something like a fist anyways, and the punch thrown must’ve been hard enough to make The Prince lose balance and tumble. 

Alright, so it could be a cousin’s fault. Macho silently pointed fingers at Ace, though that didn’t feel all too right either, even with the two's known differences. It definitely wouldn’t be on purpose, anyways.

After what felt like hours of struggling to keep The Prince awake, Odeko returned with a concerned Queen, beaming in vain. “See? Told you I’d find her, it all comes down to determination.”

 They all bit back the urge to tell him to shut up as The Queen ran to them, awwing in sympathy once seeing the state The Prince was in. “Darlings, w-what happened while I was in the garden?”

The three shared a glance, all of them being clueless as ever. They’ve been trying to figure that out for minutes now, and none of what they came up with sounded very good. Surprisingly, Nik offered to speak first as he stepped forwards. “Well, y-your majesty, Macho and I had just walked in the castle to settle something and we needed The King’s help, a-and when we walked in…um, The Prince was on the ground by the stairs.”

 “He appears to be concussed, I can confidently conclude that a fall down those stairs is the cause of it.” Odeko finished, watching The Queen gently scoop up The Prince.

“Poor baby,” she murmured softly — she couldn’t see him as well as she’d like, but his lack of words and his spaced-out energy were more than enough to know that he wasn’t alright. The answer wasn’t as clear as she had hoped, and it didn’t clear the question of why there was an ice bag over his eye…but, well, they gave her the main gist of things, she should be able to figure out anything else on her own.

“Thank you, boys, you’ve all done well. Nik, Macho, you’re free to leave if you’d like, Odeko and I can take it from here.” she smiled gently, with Odeko’s grin widening. Finally, his smarts would be used for something important, and he couldn’t be happier.

 With great hesitance, the other two waved The Prince goodbye before walking out the medical ward’s doors. If he’s in The Queen’s hands, everything should be okay by the end of the day, Macho’s sure of it, and he’d like to think that Nik was as well.

Bruises. 

Other than the huge one underneath his eye, she’d also noticed one on his arm while Odeko looked over his wrist — it’s broken, Odeko quickly proved his suspicion, tasked with making a splint. And then, she thought nothing of it, maybe it came from when he fell on it, but then she spotted a tear on his shirt with another mark underneath. Silently questioning what happened in a horrified whisper, she quickly lifted his shirt to see even more purple blemishes, each one looking worse than the next. “Prince…”  she  spoke with sympathy, holding his face and taking another look at his eye, “Prince,what happened?”

His speaking had improved some as half an hour passed, and fully capable of telling her if he wanted to. Judging by his silence, he didn’t, playing with the frills on the ends of her gloves as a nervous fidget.

He fell down the stairs, that much she knew.  That could explain the unconscious state Nik and Macho found him in, sure enough, but the marks that stained his skin? That close together? There’s no way such a fall could inflict that much damage on a person. Another thought crossed her mind, hoping that it wasn’t true. “Did somebody do this to you?”

“No- no, nobody did it,” maybe in his own mind he was convinced that his voice was persuasive, but, they’ve never heard him sound so afraid in their life , barely able to form a straight sentence. “I fell, h-honest!”

 “Oh Prince, your fibbing is admirable,” Odeko took a quick glance away from his bandaging work to contribute.  “You can’t get these kinds of bruises from stairs, though, nice try. It could be a cousin, your majesty, perhaps it was just some roughhousing gone wrong.”

Most of the cousins she could see The Prince playing with were at home, or out and about on Earth…none of them had a bone bad enough in their body to actually hurt each other, cross them out altogether. She left The Prince with The King for a little while to tend to the garden, not wanting to lose track of the boy in the grass again like last week. The last she saw of them, they went to his room for, in his words, father-son bonding. 

…Where is The King? For someone who boasted about how all-seeing he was, he should've sensed that something was wrong by now. No, the moment he got hurt! Better yet, he would’ve heard The Prince hitting the floor, and he would’ve checked on him too, right? So why was he nowhere to be found?

“Prince?”

He looked up, on the brink of tears as he gave a short hum as a response.

“You need to tell me the truth, okay? This wouldn’t be so bad if you just had a scrape or two, but you’re hurt," speaking it finally got her to realize just why it was so unsettling to her — they’ve dealt with bloody noses and scratches thanks to playfighting, but never broken bones. This wasn’t from playing. “And it’s very important that I know who did it so I can…sort this out. Was it someone you know?”

“I’ll get in trouble…” 

“You won’t, I promise,” She shook her head quickly. As much as she didn’t want her hunches to be true, there were simply too many red flags for her to shrug this one off as well. A cousin wouldn’t leave him fearful of getting in trouble, and he’s been around her long enough to know that she would never dream of yelling at him. Didn’t leave a lot of options left, did it? She couldn’t bear beating around the bush anymore. “Was it Papa?”

“No!” the answer came as a heavy sob as he broke into tears, quickly shaking his head, “H-he didn’t do it, Mama, p- please don’t tell him I said anything! Please , I just fell, I-I swear!”

Nobody cries that hard if they weren’t terrified, and they most certainly wouldn’t beg to that extent. The King did it. Some way, somehow, he littered these bruises all over their son, he broke his wrist, and he’s hiding ? For a moment, she’s speechless, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw Odeko stop dead in his tracks. Telling him to step out now was pointless.

 Holding back any visible signs of being pissed, she looked down at the weeping Prince, who still begged her not to mention the incident to his father, and sighed. “Please calm down, love, you’ll give yourself a headache…I won’t bring this up to your father at the moment, alright?” She had thoughts to lie at first, but that just wouldn’t feel right, moved by his tears. “But we’ll have to talk about it eventually, understand that. Whatever happens, you won’t be in trouble.”

“Mama, he’ll be mad at me a-and…”

“And nothing, if he knows what’s best for him he won’t say a word to you.”

Whoops, that sounded way harsher than she meant to. Smiling to show her burst of anger was not for The Prince, she held out her hand. “Now, when Odeko's finished we’ll get you a slice of cake, and then take you to a doctor so they can look at your wrist.”

The mention of a doctor only worsened his mood, sulking in his mother's arms as a silent plea.

“It shouldn’t take too long, with you being so small,” she tried to assure him with a smile, “And Odeko did such a good...enough job that all they have to do is put a cast on, then we’ll be right out!”

Wiping his nose with his good hand…sleeve, whatever, he nodded quietly. Odeko was far too stunned to speak, and afraid of making things worse by giving his input, he simply continued to wrap the splint.

Chapter Text

Naughty King, silly King, he doesn’t deserve to leave this room.

Should he even sulk? Was he worthy of sulking? He absent-mindedly drummed his fingers on his folded arms, eyeing where the damage from his lasers hit. Scorched curtains, ripped from where he had misaimed his shots, and there were cracks in the walls from those same mistakes. Normally, he’d be impressed at his strength; never before had he been able to leave a crack that big. It’s the crack to top off all cracks, honestly! Second place being his butt.

And yet…the same strength was used on his son. Where did that lead? With the Prince lying at the bottom of the stairs. How was the Prince doing anyways? Was he well? Still in the middle of consciousness and unconsciousness? Dead? Perhaps if he had bit down his pride and gone to check on him, as a magnificent father would do, his stomach wouldn’t be so tight with worry. What a cowardly move, fleeing the scene like he was a criminal, leaving the cousins to do a job they should never have to do. 

“Good evening, darling!”

 The chipper voice of his marvelous Queen caught him in shock, making him jump as he turned away from his corner. There she was, an adorable grin on her face as she held up a slice of…wait, was that chocolate cake?

On second thought, he supposed his self-loathing could be put on hold for a little while. “Hope you don’t mind me coming in like this, I thought you’d like a slice of cake.”

 “You’re never a bother to Us, Our Queen, no!” The King beamed as he walked over, gingerly taking the plate out of her hands. “And this cake, it looks amazing, yes? You never fail to outdo yourself. Thank you for being so thoughtful.”

 “Not a problem, love. Go ahead, take a bite, I used a new ingredient!”

 Just like her, always keeping him on his toes. He admired that about his beauty. Eagerly, without waiting for the cake to cool off, he jabbed the fork in a mildly thick section before taking a bite. 

 Something didn’t feel quite right, and after letting it sit for a moment or two, the sudden stinging that pierced his tongue answered his questions. Stifling a choked cough, he dropped the fork, reaching for the cup of water nearby. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, darling, was it hot? How clumsy of me, it must’ve been the peppers.”

 Her voice quickly switched from nice and caring to cold and bitter, the King feeling a chill run down his spine as he glanced at her face. Oh…oh nooo, she didn’t look very pleased at all. She didn’t… know, did she? He couldn’t put it past the Prince if he decided to blab the truth, and it’s not like he was able to bribe him into keeping things hush. But the Prince could barely talk! All he could do was moan in pain, and there couldn’t be enough clues to figure it out alone-

 “I bet it stings, huh? I bet the Prince’s wrist stung too when he fell on it.”

 He gulped.

 “Oh…u-um yes…poor, poor Prince, We wouldn’t wish that on anyone.”

“Funny you say that, because I could've sworn that you're the one who hurt him in the first place!!" Her hands slammed the desk, making him jump again. 

“N-now Queenie-”

 “Did you or did you not make our son fall down those stairs?!”

 She’s far too angry for him to calm her down with compliments alone, and he could feel her glare burning the top of his head. He’s scared to look back up, not knowing whether to expect a fist to the face or something worse. Knowing that she still wanted an answer, he brought himself to nod. “Yes…We suppose We did.”

 Where he expects her to speak, she doesn’t. Strangely, that scared him even more. Finding it safe to stand back straight, the burning on his tongue abating into a dull ache, he looks over at his wife. It wasn’t a sight he was fond of either, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. “And you didn’t even bother to help?”

 “No, no! We had plans to help dear, honest, but seeing him on the floor like that and knowing that We were the cause of it…We just freaked out, yes? We couldn’t even move, it almost brought Us to tears! And We assure you, Our reason for being so harsh-”

“A reason- are you serious?! I don’t want a reason. There shouldn’t even be a reason, that’s a CHILD, King! He could break a window or rob a bank, I don’t care, it still isn’t justifiable for what you did! You could’ve killed him, you know that?!”

Technically, they couldn’t die from a measly fall like that, but maybe that varied with children. Besides, now wasn’t exactly a good time to bring it up.

 “Please, dear, the last time We…oh, hold on wait WAIT-”

“Last time?!”

Curse this mouth, this wretched mouth of his! Was he trying to get himself sent to the medical ward too?? “No, We meant…uh, well, i-it’s not as bad as it sounds! They’re only punishments for misbehavior, y-yes? You’ve seen it yourself, he’s been acting out of character for the last two weeks, and today he brought back this- this Katamari, look!”

He quickly turned to point at his desk, the last place he remembered leaving the Katamari, only to see the sight of a scorch mark instead. The Queen’s glare only grew hotter.

“Oooo-kay. So We might’ve blown it up. But everything We asked for, he did the exact opposite, he knew what he was doing! And then when We rightfully scold him for it, he stands on Our palm and tells Us a bold-faced lie, We had to do something!”

“And the first thing you thought of was pushing him down the stairs?!”

“We didn’t push him, We shot a laser — a teeny one, the most it was supposed to do was graze him!”

“Well it didn’t! You broke his wrist! He has bruises all over him, he has a concussion! That’s not a punishment, you’re beating him!!”

His wrist… the wrist? The one that put a hole of dread in his stomach when he took his first glance at it? No, no, no. Nuh to the uh. It looked a little painful and he knew he put a bit of power into that laser, but it shouldn’t have been anywhere near strong enough to…maybe she’s getting it mixed up with a sprain. Yes! They’re one of the same, really. He sprained his pinky toe one time on the kitchen counter, and it took twelve doctors to convince him the bone was perfectly intact.

“And this isn’t even the first time, I can’t believe you! How long, huh?”

 Around the time he created Katamari Damacy…about a year ago, then? Let that stay an inside thought. Perhaps the best answer he could give was nothing. This could be a trick question, he's so clever! He's not walking into a chance of sleeping on the couch, not tonight!

Unfortunately for him, she didn't like his lack of response either. His smugness from figuring out her tactics was too bold, he really needed to learn how to keep a handle on that. 

“No answer,” she sighed, cupping her hand over her face in exasperation.

 "But as long as he's alright, t-that's all that matters!"

 “No, he's not alright, that's the point! You've been hurting him for who knows how long! And it doesn't even look like you're the least bit sorry!"

 "We took Our time to think in Our Royal Corner of Shame™, We realized that…well, We messed up, big time, We did way more damage than his small frame could handle. We are sorry.”

"Then tell him that. As soon as we get back, you'd better apologize like you've never apologized before, find a way to make it up to him.”

Well, talk about easy peasy! All he had to do was say sorry, give the boy a gift,  and that's that? His guilty conscience could swoon, what a load off! The best way to make it up to him, he believed with confidence, was to follow a motto that could get him outta any pickle. A get-out-of-jail card, if you will. Bigger is better. His small Prince will receive none other than his very own… planet…

He already had one of those, didn't he…? And two would simply be spoiling.

Then a playground all to himself! 

Shoot, that's basically all the Princedom is, never mind…then, um…

A car! He'll get the boy a Ferrari!

But not many six-year-olds can drive, can they…how many rulers on his feet would it take for him to reach the pedals anyway? For the Prince’s sake and fellow drivers alike, he quickly scrapped the idea.

He couldn't believe it, had his well of never-ending gift giving finally run dry? “We'll get right on it,” he foolishly set a deadline out of fear from the Queen’s glare — not a specific date, but everyone knew that right on it was expected to be…well, it, in a week or two. Three if he wanted to be optimistic. “As soon as an idea comes to Us, that is…most likely tomorrow...morning.” A few hours were better than nothing, given the offense.

 "And surely you can think of one while you sleep on the couch.”

His face soured in dismay. "The bad one?"

"The worst one," she corrected him as he gasped with horror, never having reached the crappy couch stage in their relationship. "Enjoy the rest of your day, dear, I have to take the Prince to a hospital. With all due respect, if I ever see or find out that you hurt our child again, I’ll be the one throwing you down the stairs.”

He quivered again, the Queen’s stare being more frightening than the ones his father used to give him. He bowed as quickly as he could. “Yes, Our exquisite Queen, o-of course! We’ll make things right with Our treasured son as soon as We can,  We promise!”

It was a promise he put all of his heart into, and his voice reflected that loudly; his Papa would be impressed!

Sadly, it wasn’t enough to get him out of a night on the worst couch in the castle.

Chapter Text

Tattling was a childish word, and Odeko would never understand what he could’ve possibly done to have that adhered to his name like a sticker on glass. If he had to be labeled as something of that sort, he wished it was an adjective that actually fit his conduct. Like…what was there...a canary? Gossip? English was such a joke. Divulging , there’s one! 

Not…that it was worth thinking about, for deep in his heart, Odeko knew that it couldn’t be further from the truth. You really want a tattler? Head on over to Marcy, see where that ends up. Many cousins made the mistake of finding her a safe haven to let the wrong words slip — oh, she’s so young that she’ll probably forget, right? Next thing you know, anything that breathed knew your business faster than you could blink. He was far too old to engage in such uncivilized behavior, it was easier to just let most things go. Forget them. 

And for the rare — heavy emphasis on rare — occasions that he did let something slip that a cousin trusted him with, it's not as if it was intentional! There wasn't enough space in his head (shocking, he’s aware, shut up) for the silly secrets his cousins often told him, that's the forgetting part, and it just so happens to leak over in casual conversations. A heavy burden, he mused. The weight of great intelligence often felt like a double-edged sword. 

Now, he has another secret.  a not-so-silly one. 

 He should've left the second the Queen started asking questions about the incident, when the Prince broke into tears. The entire thing already felt private enough, he had full intentions of booking it home after he found the Queen…but then she beseeched his help, and who was he to defy royalty? He'd jet as soon as he fixed up this splint, he kept thinking to himself, and from there he'd stay out of it. He'd much rather get his fix of family drama through a game of telephone, not by seeing it in person. It was far too messy for his liking. 

Trying not to pay attention to the Queen’s chatter proved himself to be difficult, darn his inquisitive nature! The mention of all the bruises on his cousin's body was nearly enough to make him look up, but restraint didn't keep the faintest of frowns from crinkling his face. Something about this was starting to feel less like an accident, but still plausible. A cousin being responsible didn’t make him feel any more relieved, but it sure was a hell of a lot better than hearing who it actually was.

The King of All Cosmos was the last person he would've guessed. He's always known that the man could be… strict, sure. A bully on the days that ended with Y. Just the other day he got berated for his looks when the King happened to notice he grew a foot taller overnight, but being used to it for so long Odeko only considered it as a…quirk? Sounded too positive of a word to describe whatever the deity had going on, especially as of now. 

Of course, nobody was immune to discipline, and Odeko had assumed that the Prince was no different regardless of his status. Apparently, in this household, beating him black and blue and shoving him down the stairs was the equivalent of a timeout corner. Never would he take his Uncle as someone to hurt his own kid, despite it all.

He hasn't spoken much since then. The Queen left the boy on his watch, claiming that she needed to get her bag ready before they left for the hospital. His eyes followed her as she headed back upstairs with a slice of cake in her hands, and the faint slam of a door told him otherwise. 

It's not the first time he's been left alone with the Prince, tutoring and all that jazz, but it's the first time his cousin didn't talk his ear off for minutes straight. Many lessons were spent with Odeko resting his head in his hands, glasses slipping off his nose as he endured the Prince’s nonsensical rambling about something new he found on earth, or how he wished he knew what it was like to be so tall as well. Egged him to no end, sure, but you never know how much you miss something until it’s gone.

Not a hum. He didn’t talk to himself, only toyed with the knots that held his splint together. Fantastic ones, mind you. Not to brag or anything, but he had an official license in tieology. With the silence beginning to unnerve him, Odeko was the one to spark conversation, “They're marvelous, I know,” a hint of pride slipped into his voice as he lounged against the counter walls, throwing one leg over the other. “Most people would deem it impossible to make an efficient splint using Twizzlers, popsicle sticks and glue, and here's the living proof! Though…they aren't really as small as you, I suppose. I appreciate you being my test subject in that regards, then.”

The Prince nodded before picking his head up, “Are you gonna tell?”

 Odeko had desperately hoped that both of them could go without discussing it until later. Preferably never. “About um…yes- No, no, I mean…I'm not going to go around the cosmos and spread the word if that's what you're worried about, but you know they're going to ask,  Prince,” Nik was probably out there right now sharing who knows what with who knows whom, and eventually, it would come back around to him. He estimates it will take about a day or so, and when it does, he's not sure how well he will be able to restrain himself…

"Then tell them you don’t know!"

To calm his nerves, Odeko nodded with a huff. "Okay okay, fine! Please don't worry yourself to death over anything, my microscopic cousin, I won't say a word about it. On that plant's life,” he pointed to a corner housing a flower. “Alright?”

 "Okay…”

“Okay,” he breathed, giving a few brisk pats to his cousin's back, “I'm wiping my hands on this, I pledge to you. No fingers crossed.”

The Prince shortly went back to messing with his splint, and it took great willpower for Odeko to hold back his sigh, resting his arm on his knee as he turned his gaze elsewhere. In hindsight, using candy as a replacement for string was a flounder on his end. So much for creativity…

“Please try not to touch it too much, Your Majesty. I’d prefer not to go through the trouble of making another one. We’re a bit low on glue.”

“Are they…really gonna have to cut it off?”

Odeko frowned, “Cut it off? Why would-” and then it came to him why exactly those words sounded familiar, and he showed a flicker of an apologetic smile. “Oh. I must’ve mistaken your level of consciousness earlier when I said all of that…no, Prince, I was only kidding. You’ll come back with both of your hands, one of them will just be in a cast for a few months. “

“Like Opeo?”

“Like Opeo. It won’t even hurt! It’ll be over in minutes… and they let you pick the color.”

“How many beddy-byes until it’s normal again?”

“Jeez, um… a broken wrist...off the top of my head, about fifty-six to eighty-four of them?”

“Eighty-four?! As in eight tens?!”

“Erm, actually? Eight tens and four ones. Or fifty-six, which is approximately five tens and-”

The Prince shoved away his plate in frustration, cutting Odeko off. Rude, much? “No, that’s too many! People on earth are gonna want Katamaris soon!”

 "I think that’s the last thing you should be worried about at the moment, Prince,” Odeko scoffed at the cousin's forlorn tone — he didn't know if it's because he was genuinely upset he couldn't roll, or for other personal issues he'd no longer like to think of, but the former sounded nicer. "We can take your place when the time comes, you're not the only one The Ki- er…" he caught himself with a quick hand to the mouth. A few letters too late, he didn’t think his cousin could look any sadder.

“My apologies, your majesty. Worry about feeling better first, that’s all. We shall handle things on Earth for now.”

 "Yeah, we don't mind taking over for a while!" Came Macho’s echoing words of support, his and Nik's sudden presence startling Odeko to the core. Only now did he remember that they'd been set out to get drinks. "A few days, weeks, months, whatever. Maybe your dad won't be so harsh on you once he knows what happened, Nik can always deal with him if he does." he gave a joking nudge to Nik, nearly knocking the juice out his hands.

 "Why me?!"

“Where's your dad, anyways, Prince? You’d think he’d be here after everything.”

 "Kings can get caught up in things too, he's probably busy with paperwork," Odeko lied with an inward cringe — knowing the King, he was anything but busy. Trying to find a place to hide until everything blew over could pose as a time consuming challenge for the royal absent-minded highness, yet that was probably too far fetched to make his lies valid. The others blatantly refused to drop it, seeing the inquiring look on Macho's face. 

 "But his office is right where it happened," Macho pointed upstairs, " Even if he was too busy to hear him fall, he would’ve at least heard the Queen yelling, or the crying, or Nik screaming. "

 "And most importantly, he would've come down once he smelled the cake," Nik said with a mouthful of the chocolate dessert, the fork completely abandoned for the favor of hands.

 "He’s in the car," Prince murmured, “He’s just waiting for Mama.”

“See? The King’s aware of everything and he’s on it, no need to spout suspicions.”

 For a second, it felt like Macho knew something was up, the pause of silence putting him off ease. "Okay, we'll leave it be," he finally gave it up, digging into his own slice. "If I was his dad, though, I would've bolted to a hospital the second it happened, working or not…that's just how the King is, I guess."

Not a lot of things could get him to falter, and this was far from the first time he’s had to lie on behalf of a family member, but…man, never was it to this extent. The Prince's glance of gratitude was enough to bring a smidge of happiness, but who knows how long that would last. Macho was Macho, he'd get an entire group of cousins just to get to the root of one problem. 

The Queen strode back in, her usual poise momentarily shaken, a hint of exhaustion in her voice. "Alright, Princey, I’m all set."

 The reasons were unknown for the other two, perhaps even the Prince, but Odeko and his precision highlighter sharp mind couldn't catch on quicker. If she looked like that, the King looked even worse, the only satisfying piece of news he's gotten all day.

Chapter Text

Odeko sounded off.

 Right then, Macho wasn't able to put a finger on what exactly sounded wrong, but he knew Odeko well enough to spot when something was bothering him. He didn't speak with that obnoxious snark he was known for when they returned, much more jumpy and squeaky. And for such a change to happen in only half an hour, something was up. If the King went to start the car, wouldn’t he or Nik have spotted him moving past the kitchen? What, he teleported?

...Alright, it’s likely considering all the other things he was capable of, but him doing so in silence was something Macho refused to believe.

The Queen returned with a bag hanging from the crook of her arm, nodding for the Prince to join her side as she held her hand out — she changed sizes small enough for him to actually grab it for once, not climb into, and the Prince only leaned into her side once close enough. “We’re off to Earth, we should be back in a little while.”

“Bye, Princey,” Nik waved with a sympathetic tilt of the head, and perhaps one of guilt. Nobody had caught him, but he might’ve swiped the boy’s plate while he wasn’t looking.

“Later, Prince. Feel better soon.” Odeko nodded briskly; there it was again. He messed with his glasses, his smile coming off as more of a grimace as Macho eyed him.

"Aw, seeya later, big guy,” Macho hugged him goodbye, silently putting an apology into it too - whatever happened was far past his control, fine, but it didn't get rid of all the could haves and should haves that swarmed in his head. "Get some rest when you get back, okay? You need it."

The two royals took their leave, Macho taking glimpses of him through the window. Strangely enough, the Queen took the driver’s seat after helping the Prince get settled in the back…wasn’t the King driving?

“You think a hospital’s gonna have a cast small enough for him?” Nik followed his glance with a small sigh.

“Don't be foolish, obviously they'd have one,” Odeko couldn’t bring himself to look outside with the rest, finding the…carpet? Yes, carpentry was much easier to look at. “I doubt it's the first time they've had to make a trip there for a broken bone.”

“And the fact that I can't remember the last time that's happened isn't making me feel any better,” Macho frowned in thought. “I think I ought to head out too. There’s a couple of cousins I need to talk to.”

“About what happened?” Odeko’s smile was wiped clean off his face as he sputtered — he’d always known that word could spread fast around the cosmos, even Earth at times, but that usually took a day or two, not after a few hours! “Macho, he went to the hospital just a few months ago, he sprained his ankle! For all we know he was just playing by the stairs-”

“But the Prince wouldn’t play by the stairs, he's got more sense than that!” Macho instantly shut the possibility down with nothing more than a scoff, “After how much the King and Queen got onto him the last time they caught him hanging around there? Forget it!”

“Alright, then he, uh… he wanted his father and stumbled on the way there, there's only so many things that could've happened, Macho!” Odeko inwardly startled at the tentative glare Macho sent his way the second he staggered to think of a lie- possibility! A possibility.

“See, man, you don't even believe what you're saying! Let's say he really did just trip — I'd drop it if it was only a broken arm and the bump on the head, but no fall is gonna give someone that bad of a shiner!”

Nik took the brief pause in conversation to state his theory once more, “Not unless he punched himself on the-”

“He didn't, Nik.”

“We wouldn't know. And we shouldn't know, that's out of our hands,” Odeko could've pinched the bridge of his nose if there weren't frames pressing into it,

“Ah-huh, it's not out of my hands, bro-chacho, are you kidding? Someone had to give him that bruise. As of almost seven years ago, I swore to the Prince-”

“And Dipp,” Nik corrected.

“And Dippin’ Dots, that-”

“And Ichigo.”

“Okay, dude, thanks. Her too. I swore to those little guys and guy…guyettes that I'd have their backs no matter what,” he poked a finger to the window, pointing to where a car once was, “Anybody who wanted to lay a finger on them had to go through me first. We find Princey face down by the stairs, and you expect me not to take that into my hands? I can't just flake on a promise like that. So I'm gonna get to the bottom of this if it's the last thing I do.”

"Ace and the Prince had some kind of argument yesterday,” Nik, why Nik, why would he try to add onto things instead of convincing Macho that it would be a waste of time?! “I dunno, could be him.”

“Yeah, him or…Lucha? He horseplays with the Prince a lot, he doesn’t know his own strength sometimes. Foomin too.”

“Havana has a tendency to knock people down with his head.”

“So does Johnson…that’s not really giving us a narrow list of suspects, is it?”

“Jumping to conclusions and assuming our cousins did the crime is absolutely irrational… not to mention stupid. Please, let’s just wait until the Prince reorients himself and get the truth from him.”

“Yeah, right, because he’s totally gonna be up and at’em as soon as he gets back,” Macho mocked with a sarcastic smile, like he even had the remotest idea of how long it would take for the Prince to feel like his normal self again. Some people, geez. “Who’s to say he'll remember who did it by then, anyway? He couldn’t even get our names right!”

“Not to mention he barely looked at his cake!”

“ Nik. Anyway, I don’t care, I’m going, Nik, you’re coming for emotional support.”

“Yay!”

“I shall accompany the two of you,” Odeko stood quickly, briefly losing his footing in the rush. “S-someone has to be there for impulse control, nobody else needs a black eye if they don’t deserve one.”

 The two shared a brief look before Macho reluctantly agreed, his arms folded against each other, “We're not gonna go around punching people, man. But yeah, you can come if you want…just don’t get in the way with your smart talk, we’re not trying to send them into comas either. Let me take care of everything, I’ll uh…” his voice faltered with uncertainty at the prospect of an argument when they began their questioning, “Interrogate them. Super duper peacefully. If anything goes wrong, that’s where Nik comes in! You trained with Lucha one time, right? You can be our guard!”

“We better hope with all our might that things go smoothly then,” Odeko laughed, leading the way out as Nik’s shoulders hunched.

“...I’m gonna pretend that was the wind. Don’t worry, Macho, won’t let ya down.”

Odeko wasn’t entirely sure why he made the split second decision to come along — if they didn’t know, then what did it have to do with him, right? But the idea of some random cousin getting the blame for something they weren’t even aware of happening…it plagued him with guilt, and the most he could do without garnering suspicion was making sure things didn’t go too far.

“Alright, Spades, ‘fess up.”

“YEAH! You know what you did!”

Understandably, with getting his door kicked down and now being forced to participate in an aggressive interrogation, Ace wasn’t exactly as pleased as punch. Glowering at the three cousins before him and swallowing his bite of cereal, he gave a little shrug. “Can’t say I know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t play dumb with us, Ace!” Nik had taken the role of the bad cop, though Macho could’ve sworn they’d agree that it would be the other way around on the way there. 

“Honest, I have no idea! Look, I just woke up, that’s why I’m eating cereal!”

“AHA! Another lie! Everybody knows that you wake up at exactly 4:00 in the morning because that’s when the Prince gets up for a glass of water, and you like to hide in a corner to scare him so he drops it, and-”

“NO, get your story straight! That was specifically for his birthday, I only get up that early every day because it takes a long time to make myself look so awesome. That being said, I’m sorry you guys have to see me like this…you must feel disgusted. How much time do you have on your hands to know that anyway? Loser.”

“Listen, Ace,” Macho gently moved Nik aside once he saw his hands ball up into fists. “Something happened to the Prince earlier, and we just need to get to the bottom of things. He got hurt, and when we were looking after him we saw he had this really bad black eye.”

The narcissistic alien took another bite of cereal, “Do you think I punched him? I mean, he gets on my nerves every day, always trying to show off and always taking the spotlight. His people are a bunch of spoiled snobs…I’d never hit him, though. The King would kill me if I did.”

“And you’re being honest?”

“Scout's honor, Macho. On your life. I haven’t even talked to the Prince today, I just got up. Stupid alarm…”

Nik nudged Macho’s side, ever so doubtful, “We don’t know if he’s telling the truth.”

“We don’t know if he’s lying…Ace, stay here for a bit, we still have other people to talk to.”

“Now I’m on house arrest, thanks a bunch.”

Odeko was the last to follow his cousins out the now-destroyed door — that went as well as it could’ve. Nobody got hurt, nobody started screaming, and nobody noticed how uncharacteristically quiet he was the entire time. Speak more, get involved, he silently chanted in his mind as they flew off to their next “suspect”.

~~~

“Me? Hurt Princey? No no no, you’ve got me confused for some other guy. Any wrestling we do is purely for fun, just roughhousing! I wouldn’t treat him like a competitor.”

They’d found the bare-chested cousin at his house as well, watching…wrestling, what else? He wasn’t so happy about being blamed either, Odeko noticed grimly as his conscious bit at him.

“We know you don’t mean to hurt anybody on purpose, Lucha, but you do tend to overdo things, y’know? You broke Opeo’s leg one time.” Macho pointed out, exasperated.  This wasn’t the first time he’s had to scold Lucha for being too rowdy.

“Yeah, but everyone’s done that at some point in their lives!”

“He makes a good point, Macho,” Nik whispered loudly.

“Still, man, you can be too rough sometimes.”

“Never with the kids, Macho, never! I never aim for the eyes, or even punch for that matter! And if I did, I wouldn’t simply run away like some…some coward. If that’s not enough for you, he turned me down when I asked him to be my wrestling buddy for today. Another human wanted a Katamari.”

“Right, he mentioned that to me as well,” A lie, but what they didn’t know couldn’t hurt them, plus it could save Lucha’s hide. Odeko hoped that sounded believable.

“There’s your proof then, I’m innocent,” Lucha threw his hands up before slouching back into his chair. “I’m telling you, I would beat myself up if I ever hurt my little cousins like that. Now, if you would kindly place my door back on its hinges, I would greatly appreciate it.”

“Dang it, that’s two people now,” Macho groaned in disappointment, turning towards the fallen door. “Sorry about the door, Lucha, we’ll come back to fix it in a bit.”

“I-I’m sorry, in a bit ?”

“People to see, we’re on a mission,” Nik said with a quick upwards punch in the air — huh, a mission, a frivolous mission in Odeko’s eyes. That, and a nerve-wracking one. “You wouldn’t understand, official special cousin stuff, right Macho?”

“Yes…yes, Nik, thank you.”

Havana was a bust — the tube-headed boy had been out on Earth almost all day, expressing great concern once hearing about the Prince’s misfortune. It quickly turned into offense once he realized why they presumed that he was the one who did it, walking away with a loud, exaggerated hmmph . And Johnson? About the same, only he looked much more self-conscious by the end of their conversation. Frustrated with their lack of answers and having no more suspects on their list, they enlisted Velvet for advice. Never has Odeko ever seen someone go through great lengths for a single injury, and he grew sweatier with each passing second.

Appalled, Velvet was instantly onboard after Macho explained what happened, which came as a huge shock to Odeko if anything — she’s one of the few cousins who actually had a resemblance of sense, he figured she would’ve been the one to advise them to butt out and let this whole mess stay between the royal family.

“Well, I’d think back,” she took a drink from her cup of tea,” Did any of them at least look like they were lying?”

“Lucha freaked out a little, but that’s just how he normally speaks,” Nik replied. “Other than that, everyone else was totally calm, they gotta be telling the truth.”

“No way, even Ace?”

“Yep, even Ace,” Macho nodded with a huff. “Hard to believe, I know.”

“What if it’s someone we’d never expect?” Nik asked, Odeko giving a sharp stare in his direction as he took a sip from his own cup. “Marcy hangs out with the Prince a lot, but everyone knows she has a problem with her temper. Or Paula! Twinkle even! He’s dangerously pointy.”

“I believe that this is just a mere wild goose chase,” Odeko interrupted, “As I said, we should’ve waited. Does it even matter at this point? For all we know it was an accident. Kids being kids.”

“Yes, it matters, kids being kids doesn’t result in one falling down the freaking stairs! Marcy isn’t strong enough to punch someone that hard, neither is Paula.”

“Um…Foomin?”

“Foomin loves that boy…I know her head’s not all there, but she wouldn't go that far...”

Nobody spoke for a good minute, either silently brooding up names or hopefully giving up on the entire hunt altogether.

“Y’know, Odeko…”

Or not.

“Don’t even go there, Nicholas!” Odeko snapped at him before he could get the accusation out.

“Hey, ever since we came back with those drinks you’ve been acting weird!”

“What reason would I have to do such a thing?!”

“You tell us, Poindexter!”

“So in the three minutes it took for you two to find the Prince, I would’ve had enough time to rush back to my house, to my lab, and play it off like nothing happened by the time you came to get my help?!”

“...How do you know it was three minutes exactly, hmmmm? Just saying."

“And I’m just saying that waltzing around the cosmos and kicking down our cousins’ doors isn’t exactly the definition of normal either, Crumbs-For-Brains! Especially when they’re innocent! This has nothing to do with us in the first place, the Queen has everything handled! Do you really think going around and pondering, oh, it could be Marcy, or Dipp, or Johnson, the King, whoever -”

“Woah, wait a second!” Macho stopped him in his tracks before he could go on a full retreat. “What makes you think the King had anything to do with this?”

Oh. Well shit. He simmered down, partially from embarrassment and dread as he thought of a playoff, “What? Oh, n-no, I meant…um, I was using him as an example, you see? We were just calling out names, s-so…”

“Cousin names, Odeko.”

“Oh…right.”

And just like that, all eyes were on him, giving him the most intense stare-down he’s ever been through. From across the table, Velvet leaned forwards.

“Odeko, you know something we don’t?”

“No, of course n-not, it would be extremely ignorant of me to withhold such vital information regarding today's events. I wasn't aware there was a theme to our blame game, here.”

“You were just questioning whether or not it mattered, like, 30 seconds ago,” Macho called out as Odeko gulped. For such a bright mind, he always had the hardest time keeping up with all his excuses.

“The…the King didn’t do that, did he?”

“Of course he didn’t, Macho, don’t be ridiculous! He’s been in his office the entire day! And even if he was the reason for the Prince’s accident, keyword being accident, he clearly would’ve made an effort to help his own son!”

“He did do it! He couldn’t have been in his office all day if the Prince had to roll a Katamari, he’s the one who takes him to Earth!” Nik exclaimed with a finger in Odeko’s direction. 

“Odeko, you’re kidding…. His father wouldn’t do this to him, he couldn't have,” Velvet refused to believe it, for once hoping that this was another one of Odeko’s twisted jokes. He didn’t answer fast enough, grimacing with a shrug, “And the Prince told you this?”

“Whatever the Prince has discussed with me will be confidential, no matter what, King-related or not. We’re cousins; it would be inappropriate for me to blurt it out in the open."

“We’re his cousins too, Odeko! We’re not prying just for the sake of being nosy, we’re trying to…I don’t know, something!” Macho snapped at him, struggling to find the right word he was looking for in the end. Help? There wasn’t much he could do now; the worst of the worst had already happened. “Look, Prince is a sweetheart, he’ll forgive you after, what, two days? Just be honest, is the King the one who knocked him out?”

“See, if you were in his shoes-”

“Odeko, tell us or I’ll knock your vision straight!” Velvet threatened, sending a volt of fear up his forehead

“When you put it that way, yes. I suppose there’s a sliver of a chance that he did it.”

“That little– ooh !” Velvet’s hand hit the table as she stood from her chair, “And it was on purpose, wasn't it!”

“On…on purpose, I think…there were a lot more bruises than the one on his eye, l-like he’s been hit.”

They knew now, sadly, so there wasn’t much of a point to try and hide anything else. They’d find out anything thanks to their overbearing nature, and there was no way to beat it, he knew that now. Also, it just so happened that he liked his less-than-perfect vision, and having it beaten into 20/20 didn’t sound all too pleasant.

Again, nobody spoke, all too unnerved by what they’d just heard to spark up another conversation. In a telepathic, noiseless agreement, they all felt awful, Macho most of all — he’s seen the Prince look sad sometimes, or he’d act all whiny and fuss a lot, refusing to talk to anyone, but all this time he led it up to him having a few bad days. The beatings were the mood killer. “Now what?” he asked the others with crossed arms.

“The Queen seems to be handling things just fine with the King, so I suggest that we stay out of that.” Odeko said, thinking back to the last time they’d seen the Queen, “Now, as for the Prince…” 

“He needs a hug, that’s for sure,” Nik stated, though he was the last cousin who needed to give out hugs…the results could be fatal. 

“Vee and I are gonna talk with him after he gets home, that's what we'll do,” Macho nodded heroically to Velvet, who eyed him questioningly.

"And I'm coming along why, exactly?"

"Because you're a billion times better at saying the right things than I am...and everyone else here," Macho explained, earning an offended claim from Nik and a turn of the nose from Odeko. "Plus, he likes you!"

"He likes everyone," Velvet clarified, "But fine, I'll go. One hour after he gets back, not a second before."

“And you better refrain from bringing up my name," Odeko griped, though deep down he knew it wouldn't make too much of a difference whether they mentioned him or not. There's only one cousin who heard the news firsthand.

“I think there’s bigger problems than the Prince getting mad at you, Odeko,” Velvet scolded with annoyance, the rest of the cousins giving him a similar look. “One would think you’d know that already, being as smart as you claim. We'll bring up whatever we want." she motioned between herself and Macho while Nik snickered at what was honestly an elementary insult. Odeko didn't see any degrees on her wall, thank you very much.

For his better interest, however, he held back his retort and slouched in his seat. Great. Now he owes someone a new plant.

Chapter Text

Velvet and Macho — more so the latter than the former — wasted zero time heading back to the castle the moment they spotted that familiar white car back on its grounds. Walking through the corridors, Velvet kept a good eye out for any sign of the King, still having a morsel of hope that he would come to his senses and actually help. With what? Don’t ask her, but to do what he did and flee the scene filled her with upset she’s never felt before. They stop at the Prince’s secondary bedroom (Or was it the primary one? One too many, if you asked Velvet.), where neither of them made a move to make their presence known.

After having a short debate over who should be the one to knock on the door, Macho eventually broke and decided that he’d be the brave one and take the job. It was only right, as a gentleman, he reasoned, his chest puffed out as he strode over to the bedroom door and raised his fist. That, and…he was the one who wanted to do this in the first place. 

Velvet gave the slightest scoff at his play on chivalry, “Quit messing around, Macho, this is serious.” She scorned, keeping her voice low.

“Hey, sorry! Just trying to lighten the mood for his sake, I don't know,” Macho wilted under her gaze, “Who wants to open the door to see two frowning faces after a day like this?”

“Who's to say he'd want to see anyone at all? He's only been back for an hour.” 

“Then we'll keep it short! I just wanna check on him. You agreed to come in the first place, remember?”

“Yeah...yeah, I do,” she stepped aside, “Go ahead.”

"Why, thank you, little lady,” he shot her a finger gun before finally letting his knuckles rap against the door. A moment of silence passed before they could hear the Prince's pitifully quiet response.

“Go away.”

“It’s just us, Princey,” Macho assured, pointing a thumb towards Velvet. “Me and Vee!”

“I told you.” 

“Aw, hush.”

“You’re positive that this is a good idea?” Velvet quietly checked for one last time as they heard the Prince shuffling around, Macho giving a confident nod.

“Of course I'm positive! I just wouldn't feel right going on about my day when he's so…sad.” A simple way of putting things, and for the sake of his conscience, he'd leave it at that. “We'll hang out with him for a bit and bounce. And if we do get around to...that, I at least wanna let him know that things’ll get better.”

“Will it? This is the King we’re talking about.”

The strongest cousin shared the same concerns, but he at least had to try to convince himself that everything would end up okay if he wanted to make the Prince feel better about the situation. Velvet’s pessimism isn't doing him any favors.  “When'd you become such a Debbie-Downer, Vee?”

“When I found out that the King sent my cousin to the hospital!”

“Shh, alright! But he's back now, isn't he? He's all good! Not even all that banged up for real if you take away the cast.” Except for all the burns and the bruises and who knows what else that he wasn't able to spot, “Sound happy, okay? He needs it.”

The door opened somehow, and with a barely suppressed gasp, Velvet shot Macho a bewildered glare for even having the audacity to stand there and tell her that the Prince wasn't that bad off. All good, her ass, he had more spots on him than Daisy! “Macho.’’

“Hey there, little man!” Macho ignored her and gently pushed her behind him — wasn't that a quarrel to look forward to later on? “Wow, you look better! Right, Vee?”

“...Right.”

“Right!” His smile tightened at her when she had yet to drop her angered cadence — c'mon, perk up a little bit, something! He pointed to the cast running up the Prince’s arm, “Man, and they gave you a cast? That's sick! Uh, sick as in cool.”

The Prince gave the smallest of smiles at the compliment, looking to the splint on his arm as he turned so Macho could get a better look. “Uh-huh, and it didn’t even hurt!”

“Sh’yeah, I bet it wouldn’t for a tough dude like you!” Macho started to go in for a playful punch on the arm before quickly thinking better of it. Maybe…a pat on the back would be a good switch-a-roo for now. “And just wait until you start getting signatures on that thing! You’ll run outta room by the end of the day. Hey, we’ll be your first two!”

“If you want us to.”

“Of course, yeah. No pressure, Princey.”

Macho must be better with words than he originally thought, because the Prince almost looked excited at the prospect of getting signatures on this itchy thing. He nodded, and as they made their way inside, Macho sent Velvet a pleading look to keep her anger under wraps while they were in their younger cousin’s presence.

Perhaps he should’ve specified that the same went for upsetting him, as well.

“So…Prince,” Velvet began, watching as the two boys sat on the floor so Macho could sign his name on the Prince’s cast — in a neat little font, of course! Neat enough to a child, anyway. “We wanted to talk to you about something.”

Where was she going with this? Because he really hoped it wasn’t where he was thinking. Not so soon, and especially not after he had just gotten the Prince to smile. “Yeah, um… if that’s cool. You’re not in trouble, promise,” Macho quickly cleared that up when seeing the brief panic on his cousin’s face — granted, they’d probably end up doing that later anyway… “Just, well…”

“We know,” Velvet said straightforwardly, sighing at Macho’s reticence when he was the one who thought of this in the first place. “About what happened to you-”

“Velvet!”

“Odeko told?!” 

“Relax, Princey, he let it slip on accident,” Macho was quick to defend, “You, uh…you know how he is! Can't hold water even if his life depended on it, that goofball. If you wanna get technical…Vee kinda threatened it outta him. What? you did!” He emphasized at the daggers she shot his way.  “We just wanted to let you know that…’’

"That?” Velvet pressed him to continue. 

They weren’t really able to rehearse what to say once that moment came, their minds being too caught up with worry to the point where they couldn’t think about anything else. On the two-minute flight here, the main point they agreed to stick by was to try not to make him feel bad, and…well, look at how good of a job they were doing at that. 

Velvet could bang her head against the wall at his incompetence — Must she do everything?  “What Macho wanted to say is that none of this is your fault. And if that lousy, no good father of yours-”

“Velvet, that’s not very comforting!” Macho slid a hand under his neck, miming for her to cut it OUT already, though if anything, it only encouraged her to take it up a notch.

“Well, what else am I supposed to do, lie?! That’s exactly what that sorry excuse of a King is!”

“She’s, uh, j-just a little cranky today!” Macho tried to salvage things, but going by the Prince’s distraught expression, those efforts were futile.

“D-did he tell everyone?”

“No, of course not! Just me and Vee, that’s all...and Nik too. But that’s it, I swear.”

“But what if Nik went off to tell someone else?!”

“He wouldn’t do that to you, Prince, we’re family.”

“That didn’t stop Odeko!”

“I’m sure if he wasn’t under the threat of, and I quote, getting his vision knocked straight,” Cough-cough, Velvet. “He would’ve kept quiet about it too…really, it wasn’t out of ill-will…”

“We all promised that we wouldn’t tell another soul, happy?” Velvet fibbed — she had her own worries about Nik. He always had good intentions, and if he were to tell, they can’t be too mad at him…not unless he was foolish enough to go to Ace or Marcy, both of them could use that to their advantage if they very well pleased. “Anyway, that’s not the important part."

The Prince beat her to it. “Um…I don’t wanna talk about it…if that’s okay.” Any cheer Macho had managed to strike into him was now wilted, his words meek and small. Nice going, Velvet. Those were the words they were afraid to hear, even if they expected it…Macho finished up the last few marks on his signature, throwing his arm around him in a gentle side hug.

“Of course, it’s okay, big guy. We won’t force it. Just letting you know that the option is there, y’know? You can come to me or Velvet,” Nik and Odeko too, he guessed, but definitely wouldn’t be the first to encourage it. One was more interested in snacks than feelings, and the other…well, Odeko isn’t a guy you wanna go to if you’re looking to be comforted, young or old. “At any time, we won’t mind. Okay?”

“Okay…”

“Sweet,” Macho gave him a thumbs up before letting go, “You’re probably tired after everything today, huh? We’ll leave you be, your majesty. Sorry if we bothered you.”

Leaving the Prince looking so uneasy and worried wasn’t exactly a note Macho was comfortable ending on; even a hug wasn’t enough to take the guilt away. Velvet's nasty (and downright deviant) temper had persisted even during the walk back to the castle doors, where she muttered and griped on and on about how much of a failure that had been. Next time — Fat chance, Macho thought — they could do a far better job at-

Wait a minute, they? As in plural?! Because last he checked, she was doing most of the fumbling!

“Y’know, you could’ve gone about that a better way,” he reprimanded her on the flight back, getting a sigh as his response. “No, I mean it! I brought you along so you could do the smooth talking, and you end up freaking him out!”

“I wasn’t trying to freak him out.  Isn’t that why we went over there? To tell him what we knew and talk to him about it?” 

“We went over there to check on him! I was gonna….I dunno, ease into the whole Odeko-telling-us-what-happened thing. First and foremost, we were supposed to cheer him up! Of course, he doesn't want to talk about it, it happened literally a few hours ago! What's up with you today?"

"..."

"Don't answer that, actually. Look, Vee, I know you're pissed about everything. Trust me, I'm mad at the King, too. But letting him see that won't do him any good, so just...chill out a little, alright?"

"You said," she pointed at him, "To my face, that he was all good."

"Geez..."

"What I saw back there was a far cry from anything good, Macho, and you know it! The King did that to him, he's a mess because of him, and you want me to chill out?!"

"When you're around the Prince, yeah!" Her attitude was throwing him for a loop - She always prided herself on her composure and tranquility, navigating even the most chaotic situations with grace. Yet for the one crisis they actually needed such a trait, it all flies out the window?  "He knows the King isn't worth crap, Vee. Throwing it in his face over and over again isn't gonna make him feel better, and at the end of the day, that's what we should be worried about."

Velvet could only nod - regardless of how much it upset her, she knew he was right...and perhaps she had acted a bit brash back there. He patted her back in sympathy, "Maybe you should go home and..." he almost recommended for her to relax again, though bit his tongue with the fear of being punched into another galaxy. "Take a nap?"

"I'll consider it," she remarked sarcastically, moving his hand away before starting to make her way home. Macho watched her, breathing out an air of canned tension. He's startng to think that Odeko was right after all.

Chapter Text

Ouch, his back. 

Ouch, his head.

Everything ached or was tingling with pins and needles. Whether it be his ankles from being hung over the armrest, or his stomach from not getting any dinner. All were results from sleeping a full night on the worst couch to ever exist, a wedding gift from his thoughtful old Papa years ago.  He didn’t think the Queen was serious, she’d never been mad at him for any longer than five hours — no, he figured that by dinnertime, with the Prince being seen by a doctor and given the okay, everything would be fine and dandy. The royal family could continue with their happy, fun lives. Was that so wrong? For him to have cheerful hopes? 

 Alas, said hopes must’ve been too outrageous because here he was —The Queen wouldn’t even cast a glance in his direction upon returning home, her answer as to where the Prince was being brief and rushed. Sleeping in his house, as far as he was concerned, and she kept it pushing without a second to spare. One of the Angels was to retrieve the Prince for dinner last night, only to come back empty handed and a bummer of a report. Knocked thrice, and nobody came. It at least confirmed the Queen’s words — after the hectic evening the Prince went through, his ass was not waking up anytime soon. 

With the incident spreading around the Space Mushroom pretty quickly, everyone assumed that the Prince was simply too unwell to even want to get out of bed. Not the King - The Angel's message only made him feel terrible. 

The worst thing? He didn’t get a plate, not a single crumb. And then, without a bid goodnight, not an ounce of words of love, the Queen had stormed off to bed. Last night is definitely a night he didn’t want to repeat…though, with how the Queen was still giving him the cold shoulder this morning, another rehash of this mistreatment might be in store for him after all.

Ha, well he’s certainly not going to let this continue. What did she want again? Apologize to the inchling Prince, make things right! 

And yet he still hadn't the slightest clue on how to pull it off. How do you give something to someone who already has everything? Except for strong bones, apparently. Opeo didn't give him his little Brittle-Bones disease, did he? He had the faintest idea to get the boy a cow to be positive that he'd have all the calcium he needed, but chances are Daisy wouldn't take too kindly to that if she caught wind of it. 

The Prince probably doesn't even want to be around him, he could hear one part of his mind trying to back him out of this. But oh, what’s this, a challenger? A different part of his mind begged to differ. Why did it matter if the Prince wanted to talk or not? The King was never one to let children make all the decisions, and he wasn’t going to start now. Yes, he’d storm right up to that Princedom or his home planet and demand some father-son bonding time.

But…too brash of a confrontation could sadden the Prince even more, and in turn, could make the Queen angrier, and then where did that leave the King? With him losing his couch privileges altogether and sleeping on the cold, marble floors. 

Asking for advice from his nephews and nieces was completely out of the question as well — he’d have to come clean, and then they’d hate him too. Was this truly a lose-lose? The new normal? This wouldn’t do, all this silence was about to drive the man insane! Angry or not, he needed to have at least one more conversation about this with the Queen, perhaps she could give her ever-so-wise advice. If he remembered correctly, she never said anything about him not being able to enter the bedroom.

“Queenie- oh?” He spotted something small and green resting on his side of the bed, bundled in the blankets. To his luck, the Prince was asleep. He's been here the entire night! Placing a hand to his racing heart, he breathed out, lowering his voice to a whisper. “May We…speak to you?

She shot cold daggers at him after quickly checking to make sure the Prince hadn’t stirred. Pointing outside, they both step out and the Queen carefully shut the door behind her. “I'm busy. Did you apologize yet?”

“Well, no, but-”

“Then I can’t help you, sorry.”

“But Our Queen, We can’t apologize to him if We don’t see him! He hasn’t spoken to Us since…”

“Since you hurt him. And I wouldn’t want to speak to you either,” she turned her head, “As a matter of fact, I don’t.”

“We’re trying! But We’re just saying that things would be a lot easier if We could actually get a moment to give Our sorries.” He looked at the door, “Or rather, if We knew We could've had one to begin with.”

“He was sleeping , that part I was honest about.” 

“From evening until now?”

“How about you go fall down the stairs and see how energized you are afterwards?” 

Having the brightest mind to stop where he was before that question became a reality (or before their dispute woke up the Prince, he guessed), the King clasped his hands together and dropped to one knee. “No, you're right. Right as rain. We apologize, to you, and We humbly request for your guidance on how to fix Our mistake.”

“ Your mistake,” the Queen emphasized, “Meaning it's up to you to figure that out. Just know that your actions speak louder than your words.”

 Mercy, a clue! He thinks. The King almost let a gratuitous smile shine. Isn't she just the epitome of intelligence itself, he would've never come up with such an outlandish concept on his own.“Thank you, dear, We appreciate it deeply.” he stooped over to kiss her gloved hand. “Come breakfast, and We'll have everything figured out.”

The hour finally came, and nothing.

This shouldn't be too big of a deal. He finds himself apologizing to his loyal fans down on Earth whenever they don’t get a Katamari that caters to their liking — if he can say sorry to random strangers, why couldn’t he do the same with his own son? His Prince was so sweet, always forgiving, even with people who don’t deserve it!

People like…him?

There had to be some reason why he felt all wiggly and weird on the inside. He hasn’t seen the Prince up close since that godforsaken moment. The glimpse of his back he managed to see earlier did little to cease his racing thoughts. Did he break every bone in his body too? Was he forever stuck on a diet of liquids only? He heard something about the Prince’s eyes well, what if the poor thing was blind?! Bringing up his worries to the Queen as she set out the silverware only made her laugh (Finally, she smiled at him!) but at least she gave the comforting news that none of the sort had happened to their precious son. As a matter of fact, he felt well enough to want to go back to his own little planet for a while, which she eventually allowed with the assignment for one of the angels to keep an eye on him. 

That’s it then, no more worries, he’s ready to face this thing head-on! Though he did wonder how the Prince left without being seen.

“Uncle, Auntie, I got him!” Foomin announced loudly only moments after the King had sent her to retrieve his son — And lo and behold, she had the Prince right next to her, grabbing his good hand so he wouldn’t run off. Why, isn’t that rare, Foomin made a smart move!  

“Good job, Foomin. We appreciate it,” The King gave brief praise — did he ever promise to give her a cookie for her efforts? Maybe, maybe not, but that’s the least of his concerns. Looking past how the Prince looked more frightened than optimistic, he continued with his greeting. “Top of the morning to you, Prince. Glad to see you’re up and about.”

Between you and him, it was more like down and stationary — the longer he looked down at his boy and found all of these uncomfortable blues and purples, the more he found himself wanting to hold off on this apologizing thing just a bit longer.

No, no, that’s all in the past, what a drag...14 hours ago to be exact, but still the past. He’s got it all handled, the sooner he made things right, the sooner he’ll get to see his 500-thread-count sheets again! His lovely pookie as a bonus. ♥️

With the way the Prince hid behind Foomin the second the King greeted him, however, his high hopes were beginning to dwindle.

“Darling!”

The Queen walked into the kitchen seconds later, and the Prince eagerly ran into her open arms. Under any normal circumstances, the King would get annoyed by this clear act of favoritism, but you know what? He let it slide — he wouldn’t be so quick to jump in his father’s arms either after…a less than graceful lapse of patience. 

The Queen had made the Prince’s favorites, diabetes-inducing chocolate pancakes, and the King had been hoping that it would light him up enough to where he would act like himself again. All of his cousins were as excitable as always, never running out of topics to ramble about, so that alone would have made the Prince perk up too.

If anything, the treats and company had no effect. His son had barely uttered a word , only responding to whatever the Queen asked him something about his wellbeing, or occasionally giggling at whatever Foomin would whisper to him…nothing but good things, the King assumed, yet he knew how weird and raunchy the blue cousin’s humor could be. Great, he invited everyone over for no reason...not as if they'd ever need a reason to get a free meal anyway, those freeloaders.

Nobody even bothered to talk to The King, though, not even the cousins . He couldn't find himself getting too cross with them, regardless. If anything, he should be relieved — the less attention he got from them right now, the better. Everyone was so eager to share whatever new interesting thing that had happened in their lives, and for once he had never been happier to hear their ramblings.  Everyone except for Velvet, apparently, who made a sudden departure from the table without saying a word. Macho hurried after her. What’s their problem? The Queen’s grumpiness must be rubbing off on some of them.

He should start bracing himself at this point; he brought it all on himself, so it would be foolish to feel like he deserved better, but it still made him feel sour nonetheless.

Not to worry , he thought to himself in an effort to brighten up, in  a few moments he’d patch everything up with the Prince, then everyone would like him again! Take that, sad, silence-filled breakfasts — this would be the last time the King would ever deal with this tomfoolery.

Chapter Text

“Prince, come here for a second.”

With miraculous fortune, he managed to catch the Prince right before he went outside to play with Foomin. Standing by the door, the Prince slowly looked back, hesitancy written on his face.

“You’re not in any trouble, your tininess…just come here already!”

He could hear every unspoken thought the Prince had in his small, panicked mind, having a caring nature such as his grants you with a gift — why, this had to be a trap, right? Yes, of course, the King was setting him up for another round of laser tag, that’s it. The King, even if he had been more than generous prior to that one awful moment, was absolutely untrustworthy, nothing more, nothing less! Something like that, he imagined. Finally, the teeny-tiny Prince made his way over to his father, but not without giving a final, longing look towards the door.

“We want to talk to you about…er, yesterday, Prince,” The King began slowly, getting on his knee. “We...weren't having the greatest of days yesterday, We admit. Nor the funniest of weeks. Your little attitude problem had Us putting Our poor brain through the wringer, what had gotten into you? And when you brought Us that Katamari yesterday, We full-heartedly believed that you were doing it to spite Us, and...well..." he trailed off, giving a weak glance to the Prince's cast.

"We see now that it was severely stupid of Us to think that, asking you what was wrong had been the last thing to come to Our mind. We’ve been stressed out already as well, all those humans constantly calling Us for the smallest of tasks, it gets annoying fast. You understand that too, you do it almost everyday, yes? Still, that’s no excuse for what We did to you. Naughty, We had been. Very naughty.”

The Prince only looked up at him, but he hadn't bolted to the nearest door yet...technically a win, right?

“We feel awful, little one, just awful, and We’re sorry. Sorry for hurting you the way We did, sorry for not stepping up and taking care of you, sorry for your eye, your head, your wrist and anything else. Guess what? Whatever you want for the next two months, you can have it! Dessert for breakfast or sweets before dinner, anything you’d like, consider that Our way of making it up to you. All good?”

The Prince gave a little nod, taking another glance at the door and shuffling backward. He pointed, and the King quickly caught on.

His face wasn't full of forgiveness, not a hint of compassion was to be found. He was backing away for a reason, and when it finally clicked for the King, he tried his hardest not to let his negative feelings show. Just let the boy leave, you’ve already apologized. His mind was so wise. What would he do without it? “Yes, very well then. Run off and play with your cousins Prince, do be mindful of how much dirt you get on your clothes.”

That being said, the Prince rushed out of his father’s sight and out the door, as if he was being chased by a ghost.

Apologizing was supposed to fix things, but it only felt as if doing so uncovered yet another problem, and he’s sure that this one was even worse.

Foomin had tons of questions upon seeing how roughed up her younger cousin looked. With an eye that nasty and an entire cast around his arm, she’d hate to see what the other guy looked like. When she asked who did it so she could punch them back, a simple fall down the stairs was the only answer she got...he's a lot stronger than he looked, that's for sure. She dropped after being sure he was alright — he looked quite upset since she went to grab him for breakfast, and she didn’t want to risk making things worse. At least she was able to make him laugh with her wonderfully crafted jokes; it was her go-to move on anybody who appeared to be a little down in the dumps. 

They were supposed to be going outside to play. Nowadays, she didn't make it a habit to go for such an activity. It's embarrassing , being caught playing kiddy-games when she's partially-halfway an adult. Her pesky old uncle just had to keep the Prince in for a while longer. And for what? They spent, like, an hour at breakfast; surely he could’ve found a moment to say something there. No matter, though, the Prince ran back outdoors three minutes later.

“Took you long enough, your highness,” she mocked teasingly, walking backwards as she waited for the Prince to catch up. “What's it this time, another Katamari? With one arm?" The Prince shook his head. "No? Good! I mean, two bummers. Bummer, bummer. 'Cause some great and almighty being had plans on destroying a village of innocent civilians and they were hoping the coast was clear,” she pointed to a random pile of dirt beyond them, and bam , she pointed at herself boldly. “And who is that great and almighty being? It is I, the one and only Caprino!”

Her evil nickname was the best thing she ever thought of, and to think that it only took ten seconds for it to pop into her mind! She hadn’t thought of a nickname for the Prince as of now, but it would come to her eventually, you can’t rush perfection. She's leaning towards Luke.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, um…not if I have anything to say about it.”

That didn’t have nearly the amount of oomph that she was hoping to hear; he didn’t even look like he was into it. 

His sour mood, unfortunately for her, lasted the entire time they were outdoors. Did he even care about the thousands of citizens? Thousands of little mudpeople minding their own little business, then SPLAT. All gone with a stomp of her foot. Didn’t he care? Had he no remorse? The victory was supposed to feel great, but how could she enjoy it when the hero didn’t even put up a fight?

“You’re being strangely droopy today, Prince,” she drawled once her curiosity got the better of her, “What’s up?”

“Just tired.”

"I bet, after a day like that," Foomin knew the struggle. The...hospital part, not the falling down a flight of stairs part. Accidentally drowning yourself didn't leave a lot of energy to move around afterwards either, there's a word of caution for you. "Did it hurt? When they put the cast on and stuff? Y'know when it can come off?"

"Not a lot. And Odeko says it'll be new again after eighty-four days...or fifty-six."

Ugh, that know-it-all? Don't get her started. Regarding his words with only the lightest turn of her lip, she moved forward, hoping to encourage him, "Aw, cheer up. It's eighty-two now, right?"

"Eighty-three."

"What did I say? But no, don't sweat it, Princey. It'll go by in no time! I broke my arm once too, after I accidentally slammed the refrigerator door on it, and now look at me!" Proudly, Foomin held out her appendage of glory for her younger cousin to look upon. Sparkles and everything. "Good as new, right? And it went by just like that. So perk up a little, okay? You're even starting to make me sad."

She nudged him, as family and close pals often did with one another. Evidently, her elbow held the strength of a thousand exploding suns — before she knew it, the Prince stumbled forwards, tripped on a rock, and fell, landing right on the “village” she had destroyed minutes ago. Foomin instantly dropped down to help him up with a noise of surprise — living with Opeo didn't leave her panicked. If that guy could fall as much as he does and still keep it kicking, then so could the Prince. Guilt, however, wasn't as easy to brush off. "Shoot, Princey, I'm so sorry! I wasn't trying to trip you up."

Once he's back on his feet, she barely has enough time to make sure he's alright before he's frantically dusting off the dirt on his shirt. "Foomin!"

"Hey, I said I was sorry!" she defended before reluctantly helping him out. Doing it one-handed wasn't going anywhere. "Where's the fire?"

 Any concern that she might’ve hurt him faded once she heard his reason for urgency — "Father said I can't get my clothes dirty!"

Oh, that's a bunch of bull, he was never concerned about getting messy before. Now he's supposed to be some neat freak? "I have a feeling he'll let you off the hook just this once. A hunch, if you will. Just go back and ask him to throw them in the wash.” 

 The Prince slowly turned to look at his home-sweet-home, “...You think so?”

“I know so! I mean, I’d sure hope so? I don’t know a lot of people who’d whale on a kid with a broken wrist. I’ll be at my place if you wanna keep playing later on.”

His footsteps heavy, he glanced back at her one last time for reassurance before making his way back. What, he could trust her! Has she ever led any of her dearest cousins astray?

Chapter Text

Again, It happened again. Right when the King believed that they were back in Normalville, the Prince had to go and do something to throw off his entire day. 

He was absolutely wrong for yesterday, that he wouldn't argue over, but was he wrong for every punishment ever? 

Absolutely not! Letting the Prince get away with everything 24/7 would only make him think that his parents were pushovers, he’d never heed a single word they’d say! He promised to be a nicer King, to take a more patient approach to make everyone happy again. Taking notice of the Prince slipping past — how adorable, he thought he was being sneaky — the door with dirt on his knees and shirt, he urgently reminded himself of said promise. Was it opposite week or something? Was this a habit the Prince had picked up from one of the weird Earth children? Because whatever it was, he was not letting it start up again, no way, no how. Taking a sharp inhale through his nose, he got the Prince’s attention.

“Prince.”

He came to a screeching halt, turning around to face his father with a look of despair. Looking down at his shirt, he pulled at it weakly, and out came the eye-roll inducing excuse, “Foomin did it…”

“No need for an explanation, filthy Prince, especially an explanation as ridiculous as that,” the irritation was clear in his voice as he held out his hand once more — why on earth would Foomin attack someone with a cast? She's a half-wit, but even she had enough common sense not to do that. “We would hope that you would've learned your lesson on lying by now. Just quit that stammering and get over here.”

He wouldn’t take a single step towards that hand, the King noticed, almost making him want to pinch the bridge of his nose.

“No, for realsies this time. Come here.” Third time's the charm, or so that’s what he always hears on Earth. They have the weirdest sayings, he’d never understand them all.

“No…”

A triple-quadruple blink was needed for the absolute bullshit that he just heard. Did he even hear that correctly? Their good-mannered son, the golden apple, did he dare to say such a word of insubordination?! Swoosh the shrinking thing happened, only it was far too fast for the human eye and you’d miss it if you blinked. Seeing that the Prince was a good two seconds from booking it, he snatched his good arm with outstanding speed. “We weren’t asking , inchling Prince. You’re simply not old enough to understand the basic fundamentals of washing clothes, so as always, We’ll do it. Capiche?”

Was screaming the response to that question? The King was like, 49% sure that it wasn’t, but the young Prince thought otherwise. Paying no mind to the attention-seeking behavior, he attempted to get the boy down the hall…he had been far too foolish to assume that it would be simple, yes, because he only ended up with the Prince trying to squirm out of his grasp. Apology after apology, excuse after excuse, other unintelligible words, all of which being short shouts and screams. The King tried to be forbearing, he honestly did, but after nearly getting his finger bitten, he decided to get things straight.

“Listen up, loudmouthed Prince,” he came to a stop, waggling his finger — the same one that had came under attack. “We don’t know what on Earth has gotten into you, but We do know that you know better than to scream and bite at people, do you not? You’re lucky that We’re probably not allowed to dish out Our normal punishments! Now you go over there to that wall and sit down! We’re off to get your mother.”

The moment the slightly enraged King raised his hand to point at the wall, the Prince flinched with a shriek, putting his arm up in front of him as some kind of defense.

Oh, he's crying. Like, really, genuinely crying.  Pleads for his father to lay off the lasers, the punching, the lightning, and other things that he couldn't decipher. That's what the King listened to for a minute and a half. Before, any tears that came for the boy would seem fake, just a distraction from whatever mess he had gotten himself into. He was such a wise kid, just a tot, and he already knew how to get any adult right where it hurts. These cries felt different. Frightened. Not awesomesauce at all. 

"Oh, s-silly Prince," he stumbled to form a sentence after spacing out in thought, keeping his hand out as he prayed the crying wasn't loud enough to garner attention. "We were just pointing, see? Y'know, with Our graceful finger? You've seen people point before, yes? W-We weren't going to hurt you."

That didn't work, the waterworks had yet to stop.

"Really, We're not mad! Well, We were …but everybody makes mistakes, there's no use hanging on to old news. You don't have to sit by the wall anymore, little one, o-okay? You're not in trouble, just forget everything We said. Biting is cool, it's all the rage, of course the trendy Prince wanted to do it! Do you want candy as a consolation prize? A cookie? No? Anything ?"

 Fine, everything's fine. Pu cries all the time, and the King was always able to calm her down. Sure, the mention of candy was typically a foolproof tactic, and it wasn't working for him right now...but everyone was different. He wasn't in a candy-eating mood, that's the problem, it has to be it.

"Okay, okay! Um, let's see...We have a crown, would you like to wear it for a bit? A cape to match? Money, do you want money?! How much, a gazillion? If that's not enough, We can always find some gold! Still doesn't cater to your interest??! Do you want to be the King for a day?! A hug?!"

"Ousama!"

Why isn't he a lucky duck! He could just die right now. He looked up to see the Queen and knew he had inadvertently dug himself into what may now possibly be the deepest hole in their entire relationship. With the King's disheveled conduct and the Prince cowering against the wall, paired with yesterday's train wreck, it all came together to make a stew for an awful assumption. As if they were burning hot, the King rushed to put his hands behind his back. "Queen! No, i-it's not what it looks like! We were, um...dirty clothes, t-the wash, We were-"

"In our room." Disheartened didn't even come close to how he felt upon hearing her words of sobriety, watching with a heart of lead as the Queen knelt to scoop up the Prince. "Right now. And as soon as I get him sorted out, you'd better have the greatest excuse of your life."

Not so much of an excuse this time around, cut him some leeway....call it a story. The truth! In that same breath, however, he was afraid that being sincere wouldn't get him any brownie points this time around. Or quite possibly for months. Alone in their bedroom, awaiting the Queen, thoughts of apprehension were his only company, and they didn't know when they weren't wanted. Apologies had been flung around like frisbees for the past two days, only the ones he heard from the Prince minutes ago sounded more like pleas. The King's hunches from before had been right on the dot. 

The Prince was afraid of him. A sentence that gave him the squirmies to even think it. Scared. The King was scary , slapped on a list amongst thunderstorms on Earth and clowns. Surpassed them, even! 

His own Papa had been a lot of things, and the King often found himself spending most of his youthful years putting undignified terms to the man's name in vexation. Such an erratic, violent spirit, a raucous force of nature, but did the King recoil? Did he scream like that? Fear was always a lingering factor, yet from what he remembered, anger was always large and in charge. He couldn't determinate his Papa giving him a one-way ticket to the hospital, either.

A slam of the door put an end to his thinking session, and a fetching, gloved finger digs into the middle of his chest faster than he could blink, "Have you lost your mind?! What did I tell you?!"

"We know, We know!" He forgot. "But We swear to you, Our Queen, We didn't do anything! This time. H-he got his clothes dirty from playing, so We wanted to take him with Us to get them cleaned, don't people like seeing things go round and round in the water? And then he lost it! Screaming and crying, and- begging Us not to hurt him. Which We didn't ." He quickly restated, "H-he bit Us! Yes, so We were about to retrieve you-"

"He bit you." The Queen repeated with delay. "Our Prince."

"Our Prince!" The King confirmed, pointing to the small spot on his right hand where his thumb and finger joined...an unmarked spot. Something that his unamused Queen was swift to pick up on. "What? He did!"

“Not without a reason, I know it!”

Oh, please. She’s scared of spiders, but he didn’t see her going out of her way to bite one. Nevertheless, it still wasn’t a reason that sat right with him.  What an awful, no good, terrible truth to come out into the open. A tragedy to even witness. 

“The poor boy's terrified of you! And it’s a shocker he’s only scared of you now after everything you put him through!”

“We said We were sorry, sheesh! Wasn’t that the main thing you wanted?” For the love of his overworking mind, could they please focus on one topic at a time? Priorities, much? Like how he possibly broke the Prince? “We shall have a talk with him after he settles down, nothing good comes from running away…as experience would tell. All good?”

“No!” Aw, bummer… “Because that shouldn’t have to be something you need to speak with him about in the first place. None of this,” she gestured aimlessly, “Should be.”

“Well We know that now . We do!”

“You should’ve known it the day he was born!” The Queen opposed, “Like any other decent parent would!”

Now that caught him, hooked like a fish, and the murkiest beginnings of offense began to worm their way into his head at her insinuation, “ Decent ?”

“Decent enough not to abuse their child!”

The A-word? Him ?? A perfect father, he was not. Was anyone? A patient father, don’t even bring him up. A downright abusive one, however, was one accusation that he detested more than there were stars in the sky. It’s tough love, all of it! Words of encouragement, not abhorrence, to mold the soupy Prince into a future King.

 “Yesterday should’ve never happened. We agree, and We have nothing but the uttermost regrets for allowing Our temper to reach such unsightly heights. But We did not shoot those lasers at him just for the fun of it.” Kinda-not, sorta-not? “The Prince disobeyed Us and lied, so We disciplined him. A punishment gone wrong. And for how he’s been acting the entire week, We’ve been lenient!”

“I don’t care how he was acting, that doesn’t give you the means to put him in harms way!”

“We had to do something . Had We let him off with a mere scolding, he’d still be pitching fits without any rhyme or reason! And sending him to his room is about as useful as a screendoor in a submarine,” he added before the Queen gave an alternative. “Along with timeout corners and using Our nice words. You’ve seen it. Coddling him does nothing.”

Has she seen it? Has she witnessed the full degree of it? The Prince had been such a martyr with her, mother’s little angel and father’s sudden hell-spawn. Maddening, it was, running through plans A-Z for lightweight penalties only to have all of them fall flat on their faces. So what else was he supposed to do?

“No, nothing works. Nothing. We shouldn’t have taken it to an excessive height…but…”

“ But ?” she questioned in disbelief, “But??”

And then, plunging a stake through his already battered heart, she says it. The thing, a comparison that he’d been hopeful never to hear. “You’re no better than him right now.”

 “We are nothing like Our father!” The King exclaimed defensively, “Our father would’ve had the Prince put in a body cast just for breathing too loud!”

“Which is one step after breaking his wrist for being ‘lied’ to— it should’ve never gotten to that either! You’re acting just like him, and I won’t have it!”

Wrong, just wrong, he wouldn’t listen! He refused. Oh, beings greater than him…If they existed…if he had acted without reason, had any laser from his eye been used for naught, send him a sign this instant! Or forever hold your peace.

…

Yeah, you see that? You hear it? No? That's right. Nothing! Because, for one, let's get something straight, there were no greater beings other than himself. And for two, even if they were, they knew his heart was in the right-

“Hi Uncle! Hi Auntie!”

Honey’s sudden presence and lively greeting brought their gazes to the doorway…wasn’t that closed before? A heavy silence fell upon them until the King supposed it would be quite rude not to respond. Blinking, the King answered, “Ah, yes, Honey…is there something you need, little one?”

“I was just wondering if you made my Katamari into a star yet,” Honey asked eagerly, “I don’t see it.”

Her…her what now? No. No way. The King couldn’t believe it. “C-come again? A Katamari?”

“Uh-huh! From yesterday, remember?”

“We…uh…” Yesterday. As in yesterday , yesterday. “W-what time yesterday, exactly?”

Honey shrugged, “Before your lunch?”

“How big?” the King choked out — it was 50 meters. Please, it had to be 50.

“Um…70 meters? At the zoo.”

“Oh.”

Oh indeed. For he doesn’t know what else to think. 

“We…apologize, Honey. With the Prince’s accident taking up Our time, We can’t…seem to remember where We left it. So sorry.”

With a disappointed mumble, “It’s okay…” and kicking at the ground, Honey made her weary exit.

Every burn and bruise that he left on the Prince, the temporary loss of an arm…all for nothing . For no reason. The Prince was being honest, sobbing his little eyes out on his father’s palm, and the King had…without a second thought..

He is like him. A monster. And now, the Prince’s fear.

“What have We done…?”

Wooo , dizzy. He needed to sit down. Knees unsteady and a head that’s gone abruptly blank, he sank onto the corner of their bed. “We are so sorry, Our Queen, for squabbling with you. We feel so foolish, you’re always right. We’re turning into... him. Perhaps something worse. And now Our Prince can’t even stand to be in the same room with Us.”

The Queen remained quiet, looking down upon him with frustration. What caused the change of thought, she didn’t know, nor did she care…but finally . There were billions of things that sat at the tip of her tongue, lashings like you’d never believe…but later. There’d be all the time in the world for that later — now that he finally got it, they had bigger things to focus on. The Prince’s issue overshadowed anything else.

“What do We do?” The King murmured helplessly, hands to his head. And in that regard, they were in the same boat — the Queen had nothing. What could they do? How were they supposed to fix something that big?

They sat together in silence for what felt like eons, lost in their webs of solutions, only to wind up back in square one. Until finally, the Queen’s softening voice seized his attention.

“I think…” The Queen began reluctantly, “I think that…the Prince should stay with me for a while. At my cottage.”

“...All the way down on Earth?”

“Just until we can come up with something to help him.”

Then if that’s the case, they’re looking at an eternity. “Who knows how long that’ll be?”

“Alright, fine , then tonight. Just for tonight, and we’ll go from there, I just…I don’t know what else to do right now.” The Queen admitted tiredly, and the King couldn’t argue no matter how much it hurt. Not when he couldn’t think of a better alternative. The Queen took it as a silent agreement, letting out a breath. The separation should do everyone some good, one way or another. “We’ll leave at noon and be back by morning.”

“You’ll ring?” Going so long without hearing her voice was unheard of, close to impossible to deal with.

“I’ll…I’ll ring. To let you know how the Prince is doing,” She could at least offer that much—a small promise—as she took her leave, leaving the King to grapple with his heavy regrets.

Chapter Text

The Queen and their Dashing Prince left for Earth not too long after the married couple's altercation, just a little after noon. Bags packed and their stories straight, The Queen explained to their son that this would be nothing more than a...what, a sleepover? Mother and son bonding time? The King could chortle if they were dealing with tamer circumstances. As if those two didn't have enough of that already. No bids of farewell or hugs and kisses - now you see them? Now you don't.

He'd almost forgotten how abhorrent it felt to be alone, with nothing but the walls to talk to and his thoughts of sickening guilt filling in the dead silence. This wouldn't do, sitting around and twiddling his thumbs in a once-shared bedroom. Wasn't this quite the mess he's gotten himself into...along with the weighing question of how he was going to clean it. After tonight, if they still can't come up with something, then what? See if another night on Earth does the job? Then that brings the concern of The Prince missing his cousins, or in an awful turn of events, one of the more perceptive cousins noticing that something was awry. Especially that Odeko.

That's it, he could talk to them! A sixty-eight-way tie for second place on the favorites chart, right next to his Prince - and they all share his sweet little face, it'll be just like talking to the real deal...!

Oh, who was he kidding? A reminder was more likely to make him feel worse. He made a mental note to stay away from Johnson, Pu, and Kenta for a while. Not as if he'd ever make an effort to seek them out in particular. Don't say anything to them, but they were such cruddy rollers. You'd think that Kenta would be extraordinary, the speediest little thing, what's the point of having four legs if you can't even use them right? 

Sorry, no, he loves Kenta. He loves all of them! Green altogether was just a no-go at the moment, that's all. Miraculously, dissing Kenta did lead to another trail of thought - with The Prince out of commission until further notice, who'd be a good pick for runner-up? Because, bless their little hearts, he couldn't think of a single one of his disfigured nieces and nephews who would actually want to spend their time-

A flash of yellow and orange sped through the door (which absolutely had a broken lock at this point) before The King's befuddled eyes. It came to a screeching halt before- ugh, it's just Ace.

...He meant, praise the gods! It's his beloved nephew, Ace! 

With hands planted firmly on his hips, sunglasses askew on his face, and a grin that went from point to point, Ace declared his business. "Sire, oh Sire! I've sensed that because of a horrible accident, that loser- I mean, um, my poor, baby cousin is unable to roll. And out of the goodness of my heart, I can't have that. I know The Prince must be dying inside because of it. So, I've decided to take it upon myself to take the responsibility for all, and I do mean ALL, Katamari duties from here on out...for eighty-four to fifty-six days. Allegedly."

Aww...okay, he took it all back! His annoyance, any frown that flitted his face upon Ace's entrance, what was wrong with him? Ace had always harbored the kindest of souls, and with how often The King caught wind of his other relatives saying otherwise, it made it easy to forget the truth. The poor thing, having so many people against him...y'know, he had plans to give him the boot, but how can he send the little guy flying with a sweet smile like that? 

"Very well then, Ace. We shall allow you to take over for The Prince...only for a week. What if someone else wants a turn? It's only fair, yes? Please don't look at Us like that. Pouting is a major pet peeve of Ours. We're doing you a favor, if anything - being a hog would only make people hate you more."

The child's confidence instantly dropped, "People hate me...?"

"Oh! No, no, We didn't mean to say hate, exactly! Of course not, surely there's someone out there who....well, We love you, Ace. On behalf of everyone!"

In the nick of time, a cry from the agile Earth below cut through their conversation, desperate in tone and wavery in anticipation. "Wow, would you look at that? That's your cue, yes?" Turning to Ace, who luckily hadn't fallen victim to tears, he gave him a nudge towards the door. "Come, let's go outside so Our royal rainbow can reach its fullest potential!

Ace could never understand why The Prince was so favored.

He’s so cute! So small! Such a hard worker! Okay, yeah, so what? Ace was all three of those things, and more. You know what The Prince didn't have right now? Two functioning arms. Score one for Ace.

He didn’t deserve all the popularity he gets. Not when he barely had to work for it, taking the spotlight away from those more worthy of it. You know, like yours truly? How come nobody pays attention to Ace, huh? Humans never call him out by name when spotted. The Prince must be holding back from bringing up his name when talking to the humans, and that’s why he’s so unknown - the mere thought of Ace’s name would be enough to make him seethe. He’s envious, Ace regarded this with all of his tiny heart, and it was a shame the other cousins didn’t share his advanced thoughts too. They’re all too busy trying to be his friend. Even Odeko was a fan of The Prince. It’s extremely hard to get on that guy’s favorite list, or so it was for Ace. That shouldn’t be a surprise to him though - everybody loves The Prince so much that they can’t even fathom the thought of being mean, he’s just that great.

Well, the Prince isn’t the one taking time out of his day to roll a Katamari, just like how Ace isn’t the one being lazy and sleeping the hours away.  There goes the perfect streak, the yellow cousin thought as he rolled through a crowded street, a small smirk on his lips. The public would revolt, they just had to. Oh, the Prince ditched his job? Such a slob, thank you Ace for doing such a heroic deed! Then bam, everyone on Earth will like him instead, and he could finally get some of his cousins to like him too.

“Mindless Ace!"

He stopped at the sound of his Uncle’s voice, turning to where the rainbow lights were coming from. He’d been hoping for praise, but after a single sentence from the cosmic being, he already knew that nothing good was coming.

“What are you supposed to be rolling?”

“Uh…feathery things for the fashionista, Uncle. Why did you ask…oh…”

Perhaps he had gotten a little too carried away in his daydream of The Prince losing his popularity - he had tons of sticks and leaves in his Katamari, and a fair amount of lost soccer balls, but he doubted that was what that strange human wanted. Leaves looked feathery enough, take it or leave it.

“We have this awful feeling that We might’ve sent the wrong cousin…”

He’s going to get The Prince to take over again, as always. One screw-up for him and it’s over, but The Prince gets to make as many missteps as he liked and get away with it.  “I understand, Sire, I’m terribly sorry for letting you down.”

“Fortunately for you, The Prince isn’t able to roll for quite some time, and no other cousin wants to do this at the moment. Some of them are getting lunch together, how cute. Lunch…We still haven’t thought about Our plans for that, We should get to that soon. Anyways, the Katamari…We shall give you a new one, for We are just that generous to the dull-minded Ace. Watch what you roll this time, yes? Or We’ll get Slip to do the job instead.”

Was he really that replaceable? That unliked? Slip can barely stand straight without wobbling over, what makes the King think that the guy can roll a Katamari? Forcing a smile to mask his irritation, he nodded with a bow, “Thanks, Sire, you’re the best king ever!”

“Yeah, whatever,” the King plucked the useless ball with two of his fingers before plopping a new Katamari in front of Ace. “There you go, don’t mess up this time.”

The King sounded ten times ruder than he normally did - was he upset that someone else was rolling instead of his son? If so, that’s just too bad, because this time, Ace was going to perfect this Katamari so much that the King would have no choice but to let him keep the duties for a month out of shock. He didn’t want any other cousin to feel bad once they realized that their Katamaris would never hold up to his, that’s all. The Prince wouldn’t have to roll ever again, not like anybody would want him to after he was finished.

Chapter Text

When walking around the cosmos and silently eyeing all the imperfections in Ace’s Katamari’s, he could hear the joyous laughter of his younger relatives. Genuine laughter. Strange, wasn't it? So late in the day, what could be so humorous? With a turn of the head, he found Dipp and Marcy down by the Princedom (Something that he did NOT remember making for them), playing around by the birthday cake and having a fashion show. Using the presents that he got for HIS kid, by the way. They twirled and pranced around in their scarves and dresses. Freeloading aside, it was a warming sight, which made their faces all the more difficult to look at. How could he not see The Prince in them? 

All of the praise and grins he got from the Earthlings on a day-to-day basis only fueled his pity party. Was he really so gentle-hearted? So lovable, a great role model to all? Can he make a person’s day? It was a miracle that their pants hadn't caught on fire yet. That should be The Prince down there, all content and giggly, not those two! The King missed him already, truly and achingly.

Heading back to the couch of spinal torture and all things unholy, a solid three hours was all it took for a new idea to come to mind. What was he thinking? That if he waited around long enough, a miracle would happen? The Queen was doing her part, and it was high time he did his as well! The motivated King of All Cosmos refused to live like this, not with his treasured family being torn apart. He'd get Odeko to build him a time machine, that's what he'll do!

A disappointing phone call later sent that brilliant idea packing. Apparently, Odeko could do it if he very well wanted to, the question being whether The King felt like waiting for ten years. Alright, plan B: he'll give The Prince a peace offering. Returning to an old idea was not a huge favorite of his either, believe him, yet why ditch something that's worked time and time again? Yes, he could hear your hornswoggled cries - But King! Weren't you fresh out of gift peace offering ideas? Firstly, never question him again. Secondly...indeed, he was. But get this! He's done it again! See, he'd get the help from his loving family. Preferably, the ones The Prince was fond of. From there, all he had to do was throw it in a box, wrap it in sparklies, and slap his name on it!

...Everyone else, too. Depends on how well of a job they do, really.

Dipp and Marcy froze like a deer in headlights when the gentle lighting of the stars above them was suddenly replaced by an ominous shadow. Before Marcy could blame Dipp for scaring off the stars with his eye-bleeding attire, their Uncle's voice gave them an awful fright. What was supposed to be an exposition ended up being far more tiring - for five minutes did The King have to answer their questions and clarify over and over again what exactly was going down. Let that be a note in the future to never go to the younger ones first if he needed help with something.

Once she got it, Marcy sparked with joy, "Ooh, we get to pick a gift? Is it like a get-well thing?'

"Why...why yes, indeed!" Wasn't that just for sick people? Forget it. "Our Prince hasn't been feeling very well since the mishap. And so, We had a striking idea. Our best one yet! A present from his loved ones should put a little pep in his step."

"Yeah! We can get him a...what was it called?" Marcy looked to Dipp for help, who shrugged cluelessly in return.

"Don't look at me. But I do know that he likes candy. Lots of it. It's his favoritest thing ever in the entire world!"

"No, no, get him something fancy. Like a new crown! The old one is getting a little...rough."

The King spent a lot of time on that paper crown, three minutes to be exact, and that was the fruit of his labors? To have it roped in with a pity adjective? Maybe he shouldn't have been as stingy on the glitter. But fine! If it was candy and a crown they suggested, then candy and a crown he will retrieve! Or rather, what they'll retrieve. "Splendid! Marcy can roll up shiny pleasantries in a jewelry store, and Dipp can take a look around in the nearest Mom-and-Pop shop! We appreciate your help."

"I can what?" Marcy began to complain once it dawned on her what exactly their Uncle expected of them, who exactly would be doing all of the work. Right before Dipp could do the same, oops! Aw, man, his rainbow slipped. Off to Earth they went.

Next on the list was none other than Ace, and quite personally, the King was intrigued to hear what the little one had to say. Ace had been such a treat lately, stepping up to cover for his cousin like that. What he lacked in rolling skills, surely he could make up for it with his present-picking. Don't ask how high the chances were on that. Stepping by L'Ace, he found Ace and Foomin outside the front of his house - Foomin was his unenthusiastic baseball pitcher while Ace would swing...while he would miss...man, this was getting sadder by the second.

Foomin looked up, and her face brightened with glee at the prospect of finally being able to take a break. "Hi, Uncle! What's up?"

Space, Foomin. Many times, The King felt sympathy for her as well. Pushing past it, he got straight to business. "The Prince hasn't been in the best of spirits as of late, so We decided to gather a few cousins to pitch in for a gift."

"Not in the best of sprits? No kidding, he was super-duper quiet today," Foomin laughed softly, and that must've been another one of her jokes. And if it was? It flew right over his head. The Prince was quiet, that's just his nature, was it not? "But I guess I wouldn't be jumping for joy either if I was stuck in a cast."

"I was thinking about getting The Prince a gift as soon as I heard what happened," Ace dropped his bat, placing a hand over his heart as Foomin made a sound of annoyance. "Poor Princey...but what do you get someone who's swimming in gold?"

"Ace has these toys he doesn't play with," Foomin informed with unnatural excitement as Ace's smile morphed into a grimace, "Don't you, Ace?"

"I...ha...I'm not sure what you're talking about."

"Oh, yeah you do! You know! The ones that're still in the box! You never take them out? And I'm thinking- what good is a toy if it's spending its life in some cramped old box? I think Princey would absolutely love them," Foomin turned to the King's direction. "Don't you, Uncle?"

"We do indeed..." The King stroked his chin. Toys were a little...childish, were they not? Especially for a growing Prince such as his. However, The King was also aware that he was not in a position to be picky right now. "A grand idea, Foomin. Ace?"

"...Yes, your Majesty..." Ace muttered, making his way back to the house, though not without sending a murderous glare towards Foomin. The door slammed shut, leaving them with the sound of Ace rummaging around inside and an occasional snicker from Foomin. Seconds later, Ace returned, and in his arms were two, neat little dolls - still in their packaging and everything! With a weak smile, the football-headed alien held them up, "Here you go! I hope Princey enjoys them...he can borrow them. For a week."

"Or?" Foomin encouraged.

Ace shut his eyes, "Or...longer, if he wants."

"Aw, Ace! You're the greatest," The King plucked the toys from his nephew's arms, giving him a gentle pat on the back. "Always putting the best interests of your family before yourself! Foomin's so lucky to have you as a brother."

"You have no idea..." Ace wiped his eyes - tears of joy? Was the act of sharing that warming to him? The King absolutely had to find a way to reward him! Just not anytime soon.

Alright, perfect! Three gifts in one were an excellent deal! Going overboard was something that The King wanted to avoid as well - how hard could one try their hardest until they came off as pathetic?

However, there were still a few important matters that he needed to take care of - it might not mean much to The Prince coming from a piece of paper, yet the King felt as if another apology should be written to him nonetheless. Nothing too long, just a few words he wasn’t able to say to The Prince face-to-face. The last one had gone so awry, he couldn't even believe it to this hour. Papers can't be dangerous. Papercuts wasn't a fret, for The Prince had no fingers. Could a hand-cut happen? Oh, that's thinking too far out of the box, of course not. Papers are nice and safe, so even if they weren't exactly Prince-sized, that shouldn't make his soon feel threatened, right? 

Dear dashing Prince,

After taking many hours out of Our night pondering things over, We figured that Our actions from yesterday might’ve been a big rash, way more rash than We intended. We don't blame you for thinking that We would bring you harm for such a minute mistake. But, even if you don’t believe Us, just know that from this point forward, We will never even think about trying to hurt you as We have in the past, and The Queen will gracefully beat us into the next century if We ever break Our promise.  Are you okay? Nothing hurts anymore, not even an itty bitty bit? We hope not. An apology in person probably isn’t the way to go about things as of now, so We grant you this gift with the hopes of it getting the message across just as well. We’re sorry, Prince. Truly and sincerely.  We love you.

From, The King.

Simple, yes. Redundant, just a tad. Paragraph after paragraph wouldn't hold the Prince's attention, a first instinct would be to trash it instantly. Whatever the King felt like he needed to say fit perfectly on the bite-sized paragraph, just enough for the bite-sized Prince.

Now, to find some chump to go to Earth and give it to him.

Chapter Text

Two weeks, right?

At first, the King only felt like it was two weeks, and in his own little reality, it had only been three days - nope, a fast glance at the calendar was just what was needed to shut that down, which only filled the royal giant with more distress. The Prince still wasn’t speaking to him, he refused to be in the same room with him, and if Foomin’s words were anything to go by, the pint-sized boy didn’t even want to be a foot near the castle.  How absurd was that? And to make matters worse, some of the cousins had also reported that the Prince wouldn’t play with them as much as he normally would, either claiming that he was busy or was merely too tired. Not able to get any answers from the Prince, they were starting to search for answers from his father instead - a remarkably sharp chill rushed through his body when Dipp asked if falling down the stairs had scrambled the Prince’s head. He knew?! Right before he could bust out a reasonable explanation for everything, it turned out that Dipp only knew that his cousin fell down the stairs, not how it happened…good, good, the King almost forgot that the cousins were well aware, how could he be so silly? It should remain that way for as long as humanly possible.

The Queen, over time, was thankfully finding herself less and less angry with the King (he was still forced to sleep on the couch, so he wasn't completely out of the doghouse yet), knowing that he was doing everything he could think of to tell the Prince that he was sorry. Besides, he still had the righteousness to look out for him - periodically watching the Princedom from his throne to make sure he was playing safely, quietly leaving his dinners and breakfasts at his door, small stuff. Was the Prince even eating? Said plates would disappear whenever he came back, but that didn’t mean he was necessarily eating them. He’s been so paranoid, he could sometimes see it on the Prince’s small face as he went to visit the space mushroom - oh, he has to be angry still, and he’s still trying to set him up. That gift could’ve been filled with all types of hazards, and the food, what if the vicious old King poisoned it? He hoped the Prince had at least been making his own meals if he deemed the ones from the castle too untrustworthy.

While observing his stressed-out goatee in the mirror, he heard little footsteps reminiscent of the Prince’s. Whipping his head around only led to a huge disappointment. It was only Macho, though come to think of it, he hasn’t seen the muscular cousin since that awful day either. “Oh, it’s only Macho. Is there something troubling you?”

“Yeah, Uncle King. I hope I’m not bothering you or anything, but…well, I thought that you’d want to know this…the Prince has been having these nightmares recently.”

Didn’t take rocket science to figure out the cause of them, the King hesitantly bringing himself to answer. Yes…We see…and how did you come to this conclusion?”

“He came to me last night after just having one I guess, it’s been going on since he fell down the stairs.”

“Is that so?”

 "Very.”

The strange Macho thing was starting to make him uncomfortable, he was not very fond of the blank stare the cousin was giving him. Nervously clearing his throat, he assured him, “We’ll…uh, be sure to talk to the tiny Prince about this soon, thank you for bringing this to Our attention.”

“No prob, your majesty,” Macho finally smiled, making his way back out the door…wait, no, it almost looked like he was smirking. 

“Oh, by the way, I love what you did to the curtains in the throne room. They look very…worn and beaten. Really fits you, y’know? Nik certainly thinks so.”

Unexpectedly, the King’s facial hair became the least of his concerns at the moment.

A tiny council had been called today, and hurrah, Odeko was brought into things once more. He wasn’t excited to go knowing good and well about the topic they would be discussing…still, it could be interesting, and the word around the cosmos was that Nik had been the one to blab about what happened…or so, just the main aspects, the orange cousin had enough dignity not to give everything away. While being clueless on whether or not the Prince knew about this, it’s been two weeks since he’s heard from him, Odeko now had the comfort of knowing that Nik would be there to take some of the royal’s anger. That wasn’t so wrong to think, right? Nik wasn't forced to tell, he did it by his own will. 

With Macho calling the board, they (being Velvet and Nik, the latter looking as guilty as ever) met up at his house within a few minutes.

“Hi everyone, sorry for doing this on such short notice,” introductions were rushed,  three out of the four already knowing the issue at hand. “We all have some idea of what’s wrong, right?”

“The Prince barely comes out of that house, and it’s worrying me,” Velvet expressed meekly. “He won’t eat with anyone, he always looks like someone is out to get him, that’s just…nothing someone his age should be doing, right?”

“I thought he didn’t want to eat with us because he doesn’t want to answer any questions about what happened,” Nik added, though a hint of shame slid into his voice. “Well…they know what happened, but they just don’t know how .”

“And we should keep it that way. If the Prince finds out that such a humiliating secret that he entrusted us with has reached the inquisitive ears of our fellow cousins, it could impact him in a way that he will never want to speak to anybody for a month or two.” Odeko dared anybody to find that ironic, they’re the ones who forced the truth out of him.

“Odeko makes a good point…I think, but it’s fine Nik. But like Velvet says, something’s wrong with the Prince.”

“The answer is simple, based on everything Velvet has revealed to us, it has led me to believe that the Prince is scared of the King, and understandably so,” Odeko diagnosed nonchalantly, even if he was just as frantic as his cousins on the inside. “And no, Nik, it isn’t like your fear of vegetables or anything nutritious, this is far more severe.” he sighed, seeing Nik’s raised hand. “Anyhoo, if I’m right, the Prince is having nightmares about said issues, he looks like he hasn’t slept for days.”

“He just came to me about them last night…he wouldn’t say what it was about, but it’s clear it had something to do with that.”

“Of course the poor thing’s having nightmares,” Velvet grumbled, now she has another thing to be upset about. “And look at the King…he’s the reason the Prince is all shaken up, and he hasn’t done a single thing to help him!”

“He can’t, Velvet, not unless he wants to send the Prince into a fit of panic,” Odeko leered at the silly statement. “I don’t know how it took that long for it to happen, but getting pushed down the stairs-”

“Or so, we think he pushed him.”

“Right Nik, it seems like that was his last straw, and it's shaken him up. I’m confident that he’s not going to acknowledge any apology that comes from our uncle anytime soon."

Just like that, their worst fear came - a chorus of shocked gasps came from the other side of the door. The three could only look at one another with shock and thread, knowing that they now had yet another nuisance to deal with. Someone had to take a risk and open the door first  - if the now angry banging from the other side was anything to go on,  if they didn't open it, it would be bust down. Nik silently volunteered, most cousins found it hard to be upset with him when he wasn’t taking everyone's food, so perhaps his presence could calm their nerves. With his circle of a hand,  he grabbed the handle and swung open the door,  narrowly dodging a punch from…

Oh, it's just Foomin. And Ace. And Opeo, Marcy, and Dipp, only the least preferred cousins that could possibly get wrapped up in this. "Um…hi? H-how much did you guys hear?"

"Don't 'hi' us, Nik," the blue cousin pushed away his extended hand. "We heard everything we needed to."

"What are you even doing here?" Macho questioned her, a look of offense drawn on her face as if that should even be a question. 

"If you must know, I was worried about what was wrong with the Prince, so did Ace and these guys," she motioned towards the two brightly colored cousins.  "And Opeo wanted something else, I don't know.  I thought that it was pecul…cular…WEIRDLY suspicious that you four were meeting in private, I saw you guys through my window. You three, " she looked at everyone but Velvet, "Were like, the only people around when The Prince fell. Put two and two together, you all must know something! "

"And you did know something after all!" Ace added loudly. "Guess I'm not the only one the King pushes around. "

"I just wanted milk…" Opeo looked down, partially because of what he just discovered, with a tiny part of him longing for the milk. 

Didn't matter - they didn't bother telling Ace to shut up or finally getting Opeo his drink so he could skedaddle. No, there's far more shocking things to focus on, being that Foomin was able to use context clues for the second time in her life. Had this happened any other day, they would've celebrated it. 

"So the King did that to him?" She asked again to confirm. "His own freaking dad?"

"Yeah, but we're…we're handling it? "Nik shrugged sheepishly. "I guess we're not doing much. Odeko said we should stay out of things regarding the King and the Queen…he never said what to do with the Prince, so we just…don't bring it up. "

"Yeah, and how's that working out for you? He's terrified to leave his house because he thinks his dad is gonna beat the stars out of him, you're all just okay with that? "

"He doesn't want to talk about it either, we're just respecting his wishes," Velvet sighed - the other bystanders had remained quiet,  either because they were confused about everything or afraid to say a single word that could start a bigger argument.  She was thankful for that, but the talkative Foomin was starting to grate on her nerves, even if she did have somewhat of a point. Sure the Prince had been very vocal about not wanting to step a foot out of that house for too long no matter what,  even if it was just to talk…and, well, they just went with the flow since they didn't want to overstep any boundaries. "But…I do admit that we should've done more to console him…"

"You think?!"

"I, for one, would like to thank you guys for waiting so long to take action, Ace shook Nik’s hand with unbeatable glee. "I mean, I don't like the nightmare stuff or him being afraid to be around the castle,  but ever since he's been out I've been making so many Katamaris, our uncle's impressed!  But um yeah maybe try to do something before he goes insane - OW."

A swift punch in the arm from Foomin silenced him at once. 

"If we knew how to help him, we would," Macho said cluelessly with a scratch on the head. "I doubt Odeko knows how himself. "

"So none of you know what to do? "

A collective silence was her answer. 

"Then call a council," that was something they'd expect her to say, a completely insane suggestion that left them all flabbergasted. Just when they figured that they might’ve misheard her, she said it again,  adding even more malarkey in the end.  "Call a council, a bigger one. "

"Foomin…you are aware that the Prince is already struggling with some type of trust issue as we speak, correct? And we've assured him that the truth would only be between what was supposed to be four people." Odeko looked at her slowly, maybe she didn't realize how ridiculous she was. 

"Yeah, I know."

"And revealing that to all of our cousins could send him into a never-ending frenzy of panic, right ?"

"Yes, yes, I know, hear me out! The Prince doesn't want to go in the castle because he knows the King is there, and the moment he's alone with him he thinks he'll get hurt. So one day, preferably today, we all tell the King that we know what happened…and we'll make him feel like the biggest lowlife scum on the face of the cosmos! We'll destroy his perfectly chiseled chin, then his collection of tights, and then -"

"Getting off-topic, Foomin."

"Shut it, Ace, I'll explain my ideas the way I want to. Anyways, after we get our awesome revenge, we can force him into some kind of agreement.  The King can leave right around dinnertime,  we get the Prince to eat there, and if we believe in things super duper hard and nobody does anything stupid, at some point he'll okay again! "

"Sounds substantial and treacherous all at once, " Odeko hummed in partial amusement. "It does sound like the best alternative we have regarding gradually getting him out more…but what if the King doesn't leave in time, or he comes back too early? "

"Simple, we distract him. Don't make it too obvious,  just make sure he doesn't catch a single glimpse of the King. The more cousins we have, the easier it'll be to take his mind off things. A team effort, y'know? Just to start out with until he's comfortable being in the same room with him."

"While I am very impressed with the astronomical quantity of brain cells you're using today and wholeheartedly believe that what you're proposing is sweet, I still can't say I'm thoroughly on board with this, " the intellectual stated, the other three cousins behind him slowly giving looks of agreement. 

"Not all of us are good at acting casual, Foomin,  you know how…unique Huey is," Velvet struggled to find an accurate word to describe the y-shaped cousin.

"Please, guys, I promise it'll work out! I know I probably shouldn't, but I trust every single one of our cousins, they've never done anything awful, have they? "

"I heard Kuro killed someone once, " Dipp shivered from mentioning his name. 

"That's just a normal Kuro thing, but anyone else? If anything backfires, I'll take the blame for it, but I don't want the Prince to be scared of dying every second of his life. Call a council, please? "

Some thought it was a foolish mistake, others seeing it as a leap of faith that would eventually lead to a huge mess, but the four cousins decided to go with the preteen's pleas.

Chapter Text

"Where's the free punch? "

"No, it was ice cream. "

"I thought it was pizza?!"

Commotion came from left to right  - who would've imagined that Macho's room was spacious enough to where almost all of the cousins could sit on the floor at once? Some were laying on each other due to how quickly crowded things became, and if he wasn’t in a rush, Macho would kindly offer them a seat. Foomin stood next to him in the front of the room, looking at the floor with shaky hands. He couldn't put it past her, this was quite an interesting crowd to not only reveal the news to, but also place hope that they would all agree with the plan she recited minutes ago. Everyone in this room could be very unpredictable at times, which was why Macho took the liberty to support her in case anything were to go wrong. 

"Foomin’s thing first, then we'll pass out ice cream, Honey," Macho assured the clumsy cousin, who settled down with a smile. 

"Speaking of that, can everyone shut up for a moment?" After pleading with all the niceness she could muster, one by one the cousins' chatter abated. Pairs of curious eyes were now on her. "Cool, thanks. So, uh…I'm guessing mostly everyone here knows what happened to the Prince a while ago, and if you don’t, he fell down the stairs. I think he's okay on the outside, he's not dead or anything. "

"Then what's wrong with him? He's been all self reserved and quiet, he's like a tiny Kuro," complained Marny, Kuro giving him a cold glare in return. 

"Okayyyy so, about fifteen minutes ago, I found out that the King did something to make the Prince fall, so there's a huge possibility that the Prince is so scared of him that he's refusing to leave his house…and he's having nightmares…and who knows what else. "

Nobody had much to say at first, a few of the aliens murmuring words into the other's ear, some looking shocked,  and others being just as upset as Foomin when she just found out. 

"An accident right? " asked Lucha with hesitancy. "The King is tough on him,but he wouldn’t hurt him like that on purpose."

"He poked me until I fell one time without thinking twice, of course he did it on purpose," Ace grumbled at the memory, nobody called a council for him when he told them what happened. 

"I TOLD you guys there was something off with him! " Jungle shouted, fed up that for days, everyone had been blowing off the observations he made at dinner as crazy theories. "The King basically got crumbs compared to what we eat!"

"Good, he deserves it, that rotten, good for nothing King!" 

"If I was the Prince, I wouldn't want to be around him either. "

"Scratch that, I'd give him a piece of my mind! "

"Great, so if we all know the King is an asshole, we know what needs to be done," this went better than Foomin expected, and with growing confidence, she pointed to her outraged crowd as she waited for their answer. 

"Yeah…WE'LL START A RIOT! "

"YEAH!"

"LET'S THROW HIM DOWN THE STAIRS! "

"I know just the place to buy some pitchforks! "

"No, NO, no rioting!" Macho grabbed Foomin’s shoulder before she could rush over,  attempting to quiet down the rest. "Foomin, are you out of your mind?!"

"I'm sorry, you want us to be peaceful about this or something? The King certainly wasn't in a peaceful mood the day he hurt the Prince. "

"I'm not happy with him either, but starting a surprise attack isn't helping anything!  The Prince is lucky that all he got was a concussion and a wonky wrist, if we storm up to the King and he does that to you or anyone else, you'd think they'd end up the same? "

"Of course they won't, so we gotta teach him a lesson so he won't do it again! Then we'll do the deal, just like I said. "

"And if he refuses? "

Never getting that far in her thoughts, Foomin’s daring mindset shrunk just a tad. "I don't know…but it's not like that'll happen, I know he doesn't want the Prince to freak out every time he looks at him."

"But if he does, he might get upset that everyone knows, everyone attacked him for it, and he'll take it out on the Prince again.  And I don’t like thinking about it either, the King at least looks regretful about what he did…but he can change his motives in a snap, you know that. Call him anything you want when you get there, but please, for once, don't do anything stupid for safetys sake. "

No, she wasn't willing to just let things go that easy. The King was dealing with whatever the Queen was punishing him with, and that knowledge should be enough to make her feel satisfied- but also knowing about the potential sleepless nights the Prince was suffering with along with forcing himself into isolation out of fear, a few measly nights on the couch or a silent treatment simply wasn't enough.  Has the King even checked on the Prince since then? Written him a letter? Knowing her uncle, the answer was no - a letter from that old man possibly wouldn’t do much to calm the Prince’s nerves anyways.  The boy was far too young to stand a fighting chance with his father,  but she could with the help of a few cousins. Was it wrong to want to get payback? Macho and Velvet didn't think so,  but to Foomin, she was extremely in the right. 

Arguing would not be worth her time, so with a defeated expression, she agreed.  "Fine…we'll just talk." She mocked the last word in disgust. "Alright,  all, let's head to the castle and get this thing over with. "

"You!"

The King looked away from his compelling magazine in search of the voice who shouted his name  - whoever it was, they'd better have a good reason. This was the first moment he's had to relax in weeks (not really, the news of the Prince’s night terrors was still fresh in his mind), and if another issue was thrown his way, he'd lose it. Closing the mysterious book full of strange yet wonderful tacky fashion, he was somewhat wary upon seeing Macho…along with a very peeved-off Foomin. Aware of how…challenged the teal cousin could be when it came to conversating, the King made a mental comment to be exceedingly patient when talking to her.  "Oh…hello again, Macho. And look, you brought a weird magnet thing, good evening, Foomin. Has another emergency arrived, or are you all here to bother Us?"

"You call it bothering, I call it a well deserved telling off!" Foomin yelled without skipping a beat "You have a lot of nerve to just sit here and read a magazine after everything you did to the Prince!"

With a sputter, the King dropped the book, eyes wide with stupefaction. It all made sense now, how could the all-seeing King be so blind - Macho's prolonged absences from breakfasts and dinners,  the peculiar way he was acting this morning, and Foomin’s bizarre anger, it was all plotted to lead up to this very moment! The tiny Prince, his precious son, must've been terribly disoriented and hurt after waking up from that nasty fall, and with Macho being a cousin he trusted dearly, he must've told him everything! Macho, ever so angered, gossiped to Foomin in return, and they must be here to have a grueling intervention.

Not a smidge of blame was placed on his dearest son, though the King would be lying if he said he wasn't scared of what would happen from this point onwards. He rested his head in his hands as the heated glare from the two cousins beamed on him. "Well…isn't this a pickle We're in…if the two of you are here to try and make Us feel bad about what We've done, don't worry. Our stunning Queen has done a good job of making Us feel like trash."

He still wasn’t looked at with the same affection he once was, the Queen only smiled at him nowadays whenever he brought up his attempts to aid the Prince. All of it makes him wonder if not only had he impaired his relationship with the Prince, but his wife as well. That didn’t go to say that he thinks he doesn't deserve such treatment, quite the opposite, and it made him want to fix things with his son quickly…but he missed everything he had before the who fiasco started.

"Good, you should, because the Prince feels ten times worse! How can you do that to a kid?! You beat him so hard that you knocked his lights out, a-and you just left him there?!"

Keeping his impatience in check proved to be harder than it sounded - by this point, a little zap with a laser would've ended this useless tangent seconds ago…though that wouldn't make the Prince feel more comfortable with forgiving him at all. "Moronic Foomin, don't be so confident about things you aren't aware about. We didn't punch the Prince,  oh no, We haven't done that in months! Oh, NO NO,  did We say months? How silly of Us,what on earth could’ve made Us say that? Rest assured,  We have never put Our powerful fists on the Prince. He's far too minuscule to handle those punishments."

"Like he was able to handle whatever you did to him before?! Where'd all those bruises come from, how'd he get that black eye if you didn't punch him?!"

"We…sorta…kinda…blasted him with lasers…guessing We aimed one the wrong way and it hit him in the eye. But We didn't mean to, We thought he was fast enough to dodge it!"

"Yeah right, just like you didn't mean to ditch him after he fell," at the very least, the vexed King would expect Macho to be neutral on things, but now he's starting to berate him too. "Hitting him with lasers isn't any better than punching him around, man. He's scared of you because of what you’ve done, he thinks you're gonna hurt him again the first chance you get!"

"And since you don't want to seem to do anything about it,  we're here to present a…ultomato thingie, whatever Odeko calls it," many bitter words rested on the tip of the dull cousin's tongue, but Macho's silent reminder to keep things quick rang in her head. "The rest of our cousins don't want Princey to hide forever, so we've decided to help him get over his fear ourselves. Starting tonight, If you leave right around dinnertime, we can bring him over to eat, and then we can do the same for breakfast."

"Breaking his fear one step at a time, how… uncomfortably clever of you," The King mused in disbelief, shocked to hear such words from her. On some days, she was one to think that a nickel was five dollars, and who can forget the incident when she was annoyingly confident that it was possible to make a brownie out of cookie dough and a muffin tray? The girl couldn’t even tell the difference between her right or her left, she’s always been that one dull light bulb in the box, so how did such a big idea come to those two, rarely used brains of hers? Ugh, freaky. Pushing those thoughts aside before he went into some type of crisis, the King focused on the proposed idea, raising a brow. "But if We don't want to oblige? "

"Simple, Macho is gonna wreck your rare tights collection. "

A knot formed in his stomach, images of ripped, sparkling fabric flashing in his head. The plan, even if it did have some good outcomes, didn't sound very reliable to him, and he failed to see how it would make the Prince less scared of the giant watcher of the cosmos by not being around…but was he truly in a position to say no? He was unable to think of any other solution that didn’t involve making the Prince cry in fear. Plus, his tights were being put at risk, favorites at that. "Alright, We're in. We'll be sure to hide at around…hmm…5:30, try to bring him five minutes after." He put out a royal pinkie for Foomin to shake. 

"You better not show up at all, I mean it," Foomin shook it briskly with both of her hands, letting go with a glare. "Not even to take a peek."

"No peeking, yes, We aren't immature."

Foomin gave a tiny grin to herself- guess she couldn’t be considered the dumb one around town anymore, not after having the brains to plan this out on the fly.

Chapter Text

How was she supposed to restrain herself?  Knowing how exactly the Prince got hurt didn't do much to ease her into a state of tranquility, and if it weren't for Macho being there to act as her impulse control, she would bombard the Prince with questions about the other awful things his father did to him as soon as he opened the door. No, doing that would be very un-Foomin of her to the Prince, as Macho clarified, so instead, she leaned against the open door with a smile and a wave. "Hey there, your highness. Everything alright? "

Asking that felt wrong too. The Prince, with eye bags that were more prominent than the ones she's often seen on Velvet, was still sweet enough to lie with a similar little smile.  "I'm great, Foomin…just exhausted. "

He said the same thing to her the day she pushed him,  had the bad dreams been going on then? A pang of guilt hit her when she remembered how annoyed she’d been with him panicking over dirty clothes. The fear had been with him then too, of course he’d be strictly against not following his father’s orders. "Figured, you look rough. Soooo…we were just thinking that maybe you can join us for dinner tonight instead of eating here? Everyone misses having you around, and I miss having someone to tell jokes to.  Marcy’s been so boring to sit next to, she keeps stealing things off my plate. "

"We mean, you don't have to if you don’t wanna," Macho quickly added in case it looked like they were forcing him to make up his mind. "I know that it's not easy with… y’know ."

"N-now?"

"Sure, if you want…your mom's making your favorite… " Foomin shrugged, drawing out her words. 

Bro can these guys even smirk 😏 

“Only if you want to.”

"Alright…I'll go," even if the answer had a tone full of uncertainty, a look of victory was still shared between Foomin and Macho. With a sudden request, the Prince pointed to Macho. "But he sits next to me, near the end of the table."

"Sure, I don't mind," Macho agreed with a nod, though he'd make sure that Opeo was on the other side to avoid getting him ill. Not everyone had built an invincible immune system to the disease-riddled cousin. "But we better get there first if we want the end seats. "

A huge accomplishment,  the two had made, finally getting the Prince out with…guilt-tripping? Nah, maybe not that, just a few little persuasions, all for the greater good.

 As soon as they walked through the castle doors, The Prince became a nervous mess - not bad or noticeable enough to where he was having a breakdown, but it was clear that he didn’t feel completely secure here by the way he dragged his feet. He didn't speak for a good few minutes,  glancing at every window, every curtain, anything King sized he could get his eyes on.  It was so quiet in the living room that you could hear paper drop, Foomin noticed, and that couldn't be helping his nerves either. 

"Kitchen's this way, Princey, "she had to grab his hand at some point when he began to wander down a hall, insistent on checking every nook and cranny for danger. "Hurry, before everyone else gets here. "

With a lack of thunderous footsteps flooding the halls,  all three of them inwardly doubted that would be a problem. Quiet, oh so still, and to be frank, it was making Macho feel unnerved as well. They did tell the King to hide somewhere, so could he have discussed this with the Queen as well? Keeping things quiet, the two might’ve assumed minutes before the cousins arrived, is the best way to keep things…unsuspicious? Those two always had such a wayward style of thinking, going out of the box for the simplest things, though one of them must’ve had to take a second to consider that maybe keeping things too quiet would come off as creepy, right?

"Is he here?"

Macho looked down at the on-edged Prince, who frantically tugged at his sleeve. A glance to his left, then to his right - nothing was there, not a shadow to be seen."Your dad? I don't think so, normally you can hear him stomping around wherever he goes."

Reaching the table, it was evident to the two that the Prince was slowly starting to regret his decision to join them, from the way he kept glancing at every doorway, or how jittery his movements were. The Queen was nowhere to be seen,  yet with an active oven, they were self-assured knowing she wasn't too far away.  

"Y’know, Prince," Foomin went to any option she could think of to get the Prince’s attention away from searching the dining room, and that option was an overdue apology.  "I just wanted to say…sorry for tackling you that day, I thought it wouldn't be a big deal since the dirt was soft.

"You tackled him?"Macho inquired, curious yet discontented. 

"Yeah…but not hard enough to hurt him, I was just playing around."

"His wrist is sprained,  Foomin."

"I didn’t even push him on that side, I saw the cast! He’s fine, aren’t you Prince?”

“M’good,” came his snappy response, refusing to look his cousins in the eye as he fiddled with the already laid-out silverware. “It’s fine, Macho, she does it all the time. She doesn't mean to hurt anybody.”

If Macho wanted to bring up how foolish she had been jostling with the Prince when they were alone, then she wouldn’t hesitate to mention how he wasn’t exactly gentle with him at times either.  Nobody was really, except for Shy and Honey, and the Prince horse played with them too, the kid wasn’t a wimp.  With a faux smile, she added, “But if it makes you feel any better, Macho, I’ll try not to shove anyone else to the ground for the rest of the week.”

At last, they heard movement, the three of them tensing up seeing the tall shadow cast on the wall. Breaths of relief were let out once the Queen revealed herself, perhaps the King would hold true to his words after all. “Hi, darlings, aren’t you all a bit early?”

“Oh, y’know…we just wanted to be the first to get a plate this time,” Macho answered, thankful that the Queen didn’t question their awkward seating choices - piecing everything together wasn’t hard for anybody, and certainly she would’ve expected this if the King filled her in on everything. “Nik is usually asking for thirds by the time we get here.”

“Fourths if we arrive a second later,” Foomin added.

(I’m very sorry for the constant Nik slander guys I promise I don’t hate him he’s my fifth favorite cousin)

“And Princey, has everything been okay? It’s been a while, love.”

“Great, everything’s great,” getting the same question thrown at you every day wasn’t something to enjoy, neither of them failing to miss the irritation in his words. “Is, um… he gonna eat with us, Mama?”

“I’m afraid not, darling, your father’s had a very busy day and he needs his rest.”

Foomin fought the urge to snicker - if what she saw earlier was anything to go by, the King had done nothing but lounge around the castle all day. With the convincing(she hoped) act they had going so far, she didn’t want to mess everything up with a single giggle. At least the Prince looked more relaxed now with the thought of his father being in a deep sleep, and they wouldn’t have to worry about him trying to make a run for it halfway through dinner. Buuut, he’s still in the castle, and the Queen forgot to leave that detail out…as long as the King was extra careful not to make s peep, and the cousins made sure to be just as noisy as they usually were, nothing should tip the boy over the edge.

  That being said,  they soon heard tiny knocks along with muffled gaggles of chatter. The Queen excused herself to go open the door, and the familiar, stampede-like footsteps that filled the room seconds later were like relief. Plenty of cousins, 58(?) of them at that, more than enough people to keep the Prince’s mind off of the head honcho upstairs. Foomin, despite having confidence in her cousins, had no idea how well they could mask themselves knowing that big of a secret. They were going to put a great effort into doing so, though, right? Ace was a huge worry with how covetous he could be of the Prince, and Marcy tended to say outlandish things by accident when stressed. Ace wasn’t horrid enough to go so low, would he? And Marcy was bright enough to know that it was better to keep her mouth shut than risk ruining their plan, she's not that ditzy.

Much to Foomin's shock, as everyone went to the table and slid into their seats, the chatter didn't die down in a way that was clear that they knew something was up. No wandering eyes made their way to the Prince - never mind, Johnson tilted forwards to look, though it was only an attempt to take a glance at the cast - and when greeting the Prince, all of them sounded as mellow as ever. 

“About time you start showing up, Prince! Thought that you might’ve presumed that you're too good to eat with us. ”

“Yeah, dinner felt super weird without you.”

“You’ve been missing out on all the good stuff, you should’ve seen Dipp choking yesterday!”

“Does your eye hurt?”

“Can I sign your cast?”

Well, they never brought it up to the other cousins, but Macho and Foomin thought it would be best not to bring up any injury-related questions…though now that it was out in the open, Foomin had been thinking about asking to sign the cast herself. Signing Opeo’s was fun sometimes, but with how often he got them it was hard to find a spot to write on, the other cousins always beat her to the punch.

"It doesn't hurt as bad as it did then," he exhaustingly answered the curious cousin's shout, whoever that was.  "And sure, Honey, you can sign it later."

"Were you scared?!" Dipp called from the further right side of the table "Like, from falling,  or when you got up. "

"I guess , I wasn't awake when I  reached the bottom or anything. It was scary waking up to have everything hurting, and Nik was acting like I was about to die."

"Yeah, because I was scared too! You weren't moving a-and when Macho woke you up you were all confused-"

"But he's fine now, and that's all that matters," Odeko shot his orange cousin down before his ramblings spiraled out of control.  "And I think the Prince would very much appreciate it if we didn't mention his mishap at all. "

A glare. Right, the Prince wasn't very happy with him right now, trust was broken or something of the sort. Why wasn't he on Nik too? He told everybody! "It's fine, thanks. They can ask me whatever they want. "

"Did you break your arm?"

Not even a second after the Prince finished, questions were fired off again. They should've talked this over before coming to the castle,  at least to take a few minutes to go over dos and don'ts. Were they trying to set something off?

"It's just sprained, "the Prince took a look at his wrist as he shook his head. "It doesn't hurt that much either, as long as I don't bend it too hard or anything. "

"Oh, my arm's like that too! I dunno if it's just a me thing, but it never really stops hurting, even when you unwrap it." Opeo poked one of his many bandages, "It doesn't feel broken, but it never feels normal either."

"He didn't break his wrist, Opeo, he sprained it!"

"They feel the same way…or, mine does. Don't worry, Princey, your's is probably way different. " The frequently ill cousin caught the few, urgent looks that told him to knock it off, ending things off on a positive note.  

"If it isn't hurting you that much, I think it's fine to take the bandages off sometime this week. "

Again, the Prince wasn't very thrilled to have Odeko speak to him. He saw it in his face, and some other cousins could too. "And I can roll Katamaris again, right? " at least he was kind enough to respond, even if the voice was apathetic.

"Technically, with two free hands you can …but I wouldn't recommend it.  The pain hasn't gone away completely, correct?  Only when you bend it? "

"I can still roll, it’s not that bad."

"No no no, absolutely NOT! " Ace objected as attention was drawn to him. Had they had the remotest idea of how hard it was to get the King to recognize his hard work? For the humans to give him praise instead of the Prince? It took many hardships and trips, tumbles and blisters, oh the blisters. Blisters on the blisters, and those blisters had their own baby blisters, the rabbit hole never ended. No way was he going to drop out just because the Prince thought he was good to go  - one look was all that was needed to know that wasn’t the case at all. The Prince looked tired in the eyes, how can somebody roll a Katamari like that? So barren, the Prince might decide to nap when he's supposed to be working, and that would leave a poor human without a ball of joy. "You heard him,  Prince, he doesn't recommend it! What if you do something that's too much for you, and you accidentally end up breaking your poor, fragile wrist? We can't have that happening, dearest cousin. "

"Give it another week, Prince, don't rush it, "  Velvet advised, three against one. Fortunately, her words were enough to get the Prince to drop it, muttering words of acknowledgment. 

When dinner itself came, they all had small beliefs that with how many meals he had skipped, the Prince would be more than eager to eat. It was the Queen's cooking, how foolish would one be to just pass it up without care? If they were starving just looking at it, the Prince had to be ravished. For a while, it seemed like it, eating generous portions of the yakisoba the Queen managed to whip up in record time. He wasn’t acting odd anymore either, Foomin saw while sneaking glances as unsuspiciously as she could. No searching for a way to escape.  He'd even laugh at something Ace said, an event that happened every blue moon. Expectations were blown away, that’s for sure - after not seeing the Prince in so long and knowing what he went through, it’s a pleasant sight to see him happy. Not quite normal, but not the anxious little boy from earlier either. 

 From there, nobody kept track of what happened, too caught up with the incessant chitchats. They had stopped trying to peek at him long ago, fearing that a simple glimpse would turn into a stare of worry  - what they did know was that at some point, the Prince’s head slumped to the table, and BAM. Lights out, fast asleep. If anyone else would've done it they'd laugh, but now they only felt… pity, possibly? He hasn't slept well in who knows how long, and even if this was the most bizarre place to doze off in, waking him up would feel like being a nuisance. Some cousins were a bit let down by it, there were lots of questions they wanted to ask that didn’t regard those stupid stairs this time. What kind of important prince stuff could he possibly do in that house? Was his head scrambled? 

"Can I have the rest of the Prince’s plate? "

" No,Ace."

"But it's getting cold! Either he wakes up, or I'm taking it."

An arm reached out to nudge that showoff cousin of his, Foomin catching it with her hand before Ace could touch him. "He'll eat when he wakes up, just let him sleep!"

Disgruntled, Ace slowly took his hand away - oh, he’s fallen asleep at the table before, and his other cousins would damn near race each other to be the first to startle him awake. But the Prince was too invincible, he could probably sleep on the kitchen floors and everybody would leave him in peace.

Never mind, the nightmare situation had completely slipped his mind. Whoops. Thing is, he wasn’t fond of thinking about all of that super sad stuff - with everything he’s heard lingering in his mind all this time, he felt awkward. The Prince was still his rival, forever and always, but as of now, it was getting harder to see him in such a way. Whatever jealous thoughts he had, he would quickly humble himself and feel like a jerk instead. He’s so stupid, what was he thinking wanting to tag along with Foomin today? Eavesdropping was one of his best features, that and being awesome 24/7, but things would be soo much easier if he had just told her no. Stupid curiosity, getting the best of him. Now he probably wouldn’t be able to even tease the Prince without a form of guilt settling in. 

How can everyone else do it? Acting normal wasn’t a struggle for them, even Pu was good at it. Had they rehearsed everything while he wasn’t around? Ha, likely, the love to pretend he didn’t exist at times. But, believe it or not, he’s fine, that’s their loss. Including him in this one instance would’ve been a nice change of pace though, at least he wouldn’t have to force himself to be quiet so he wouldn’t screw up Foomin’s plan. A joke or two had been made by him, but that seemed like he was taking a risk too, even if the Prince had laughed. If these three were gonna make a plan on the side to help the Prince with his father issues, they’d better do it quick. He can only hold back his Aceness for so many days.

Chapter Text

Eons after dinner was over, with the other cousins going to their shared planets and the Queen going off to tidy up the mess, Macho scooped the still sleeping Prince from the table. The plate was there and was beyond cold by now, but a quick throw in the microwave could take care of things if the Prince got hungry in the middle of the night (mind you, however, leftovers just aren’t as good as something coming fresh out the pot). “Thanks for dinner, your majesty. Do you want me to take the Prince home?”

A few scrubs of a dish. She thought hard - with everything going on, it would be best for the Prince to continue resting in the comfort of his own bed, and it wouldn’t be fair to the King to keep him up in his room for any longer…even if he more than deserved it. It’s been so long since she’s been able to talk to the itty-bitty Prince, and she’s been so worried! The clock read 6:30, and that wasn’t late at all, not one jot. The King would understand, he can wait up there just a bit longer. “Actually, darling, be a dear and put him on the couch for a while, okay?”

“...the couch? In there? You sure?”

The Queen knows that they know, right? The King couldn’t have left that detail out. 

“He hasn’t eaten the rest of his dinner yet, it couldn’t hurt keeping him over for a bit to see if he wakes up. The King can stay upstairs, or if he needs something, he’ll sneak by. The Prince is sleeping, he  won’t notice.”

An order was an order, even if Macho wasn’t sure if it was a reasonable one. Taking careful steps to the couch and flying up to the mentioned couch, he laid the Prince down - had there been any bite-sized blankets around, he would’ve grabbed one for his cousin the first chance he got.

“Hey. Hey, you, weird Macho thing! Can’t you hear Us?”

Macho looked to his left, the source of the whisper shouts, spotting the King grabbing a stair banister. “Finally! We were starting to feel like candy corn, eugh. Anywho, is it safe to come out now? Even the endless amount of entertainment in Our room is starting to feel limited. Books? Movies? Patterns on the ceiling? Boooorrrring, booo.”

“Uh…I don’t think you can come out yet, the Prince is still here,” moving back, he pointed to the tiny figure on the couch cushions. “He’s sleeping.”

“Sleeping…he's too cute. Any idea on how long he’ll be staying?”

“No clue.”

“Try to get him home before it gets late. We both know how much he would hate to spend the night here, yes? He’d be having nightmares every hour, yes? Tell him We said goodnight, and We love him.”

“Sure, man, seeya later.”

The King slid back up the stairs without noise as Macho gave a brief nod as a farewell. Weirdo. 

The pink cousin must’ve dozed off himself - he closed his eyes, he could remember that much, but everything else drew a blank. It was a lot quieter now, with most lights in the castle being out, and the Prince was nowhere to be found. Geez, how long had he been out for? Long enough for a catnap, or late into the night? Instincts were followed, and he had luckily found the Prince in a corner finishing off whatever he didn’t finish eating. “Oh, there you are.”

“I didn’t wanna wake you, you looked tired.”

Right, like he was the one who earned a bit of peaceful rest. Taking the Prince’s silent offer to sit by him (why exactly he chose a corner of all places, he didn’t know), he grinned. “That’s sweet, you could’ve shaken me or something. Taking that long of a nap will leave you up all night. But I’m not tired, really, you need more sleep than I do.”

Was it just them? He couldn’t hear the Queen, nor the King for that matter. Maybe they had just gone off to bed, assuming that Macho and the Prince would stay over at the castle tonight. Like that was gonna happen anytime soon - even now, the Prince was still nervy, the adrenaline of having fun with his cousins fading away after that nap. They weren’t supposed to bring it up, not so blatantly, and he could see Velvet’s reasoning for not wanting to do so. And he didn’t want to upset his younger cousin by prying, not and all, but it wasn’t a secret that something was bothering him. Maybe it was how bad his nightmares had gotten? If they had been so frequent, how awful was the one from last night for the Prince to fly to his planet and beg to stay over?

“Prince, are you okay?”

“ Everybody keeps asking that,” finally he voiced his annoyance, poking a few of the noodles around with his fork. “I’m okay, Macho. My wrist hurts some, and I guess my head hurts sometimes, but I’m good.”

“No, no, I’m not talking about that, Princey,” he corrected his second cousin, although the headache thing didn’t sound so good. “Are you okay? Like, on the inside?”

He got a tiny shrug as a response.

“You know that if anything’s bothering, anything at all, you can tell me, right?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“And you know that I’ll try to fix it, yeah?”

“Yeah, but I’m fine,” The Prince insisted, did his voice waver? “On the inside and outside.”

“Look, man…I don’t know what your dad has been doing to you, how bad those punishments are or anything, but..I dunno, keeping all that stuff in isn’t good for you. Like…your nightmares and stuff? How you don’t want to be around him? You don’t have to say anything, I get it if you don’t, but this doesn’t feel like some tiny thing. Really, what’s wrong?”

Not a word was spoken between either of them unless you wanted to count the scraping of a plate, just to be extra. 

“I-I’m scared,” he murmured, bringing a hand up to brush off what Macho assumed to be a tear.”It’s silly, because he’s my father, but I still think h-he’s mad at me for messing up my Katamaris, or for ratting him out.”

“That’s not silly, Prince,” Macho shook his head, patting his cousin on the back. “Everyone’s scared of something, and for good reasons too.”

“Not him. He never gets scared.”

“He’s a grown-up, you’re only a kid . If he had done that to Pu, or Dipp, they’d be scared too!”

“Not this scared. Pu’s a tough baby thing, s-she’d get over it quickly, and Dipp can just dance his troubles away. I can’t…a-and it’s stupid. It was my fault anyway, but mama’s been so mean to him because she thinks he’s mean too. “

What did he mean by his fault? It was easy to get on the King’s bad side, but what could the Prince have possibly done to make the man so angry that he blasted him with lasers until he tripped? “What he did to you was messed up, Prince, it’s okay to be scared. And however that happened, it’s not your fault. So what if a Katamari wasn’t just the way he wants them to be? They still turn out to be pretty amazing stars anyway, don’t they? Besides my point, but you shouldn’t have to think that fearing him is silly or anything, don’t blame yourself.”

Ignoring the plate, Macho brought the Prince in for a tight hug, mindful of how much strength he was using. “Whatever he gets, he deserves it, okay?”

“ ‘kay…”

Another beat of silence.

“If you don’t mind me asking…are your nightmares about him too?”

“Y-yeah. Before now, I’ve had nightmares about hiim too, and the one’s I’m having now are like those…but w-worse. Sometimes, he just yells at me. Other times, he’ll just strike me with lightning or lasers.”

“He’s stricken you with lightning before?”

With a nod, the Prince continued. “I’ve had two dreams where h-he punched me, but he doesn’t really do that anymore unless I did something really bad. I’m used to those dreams, t-they aren’t so scary anymore, but… the new ones…”

Whatever appetite he had left was long gone, the small royal pushing his plate aside as Macho kept his arms over him.

“I-I can’t sleep, Macho. Every time I do, they just get worse. He’s either like a supervillain, o-or his normal self, but it always ends up back a-at those stairs. I don’t really wanna say what happened in the last one, but h-he hurt Mama, s-so now I’m scared it’s gonna happen for real!”

Macho let him cry against his shoulder without a problem, taking a moment to process everything the Prince had just told him. He was beating him. Actually beating him, fists and all, and that sorry excuse of a father had the dignity to lie about it and giggle it off. How long was he treating the Prince like this for nightmares to become a normal thing?  The Queen, had she always been so naive to these punishments, or had she always known, waiting until things went too far to take action? Or, more likely, the King had threatened the poor Prince with god-awful things if he ever went to tell a soul. Foomin’s anger had been justifiable after all…that riot didn't sound so bad now.

“It’s gonna be okay, Princey, I promise…I’ll stay the night as long as you need me to, alright? Hell, we can throw an entire sleepover if you want, anything that’ll help you sleep better. How come you never told us this earlier?”

“It-it wasn’t that bad then,” the Prince hiccuped through a sob, making fruitless attempts to wipe away the streams of tears. “And I-I thought they would just go away…”

“Don’t keep that kind of stuff to yourself, Prince, okay? Especially something that huge, we would’ve done something earlier about the nightmare thing if we’d known about it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t fret it, it’s fine.”

Staying here in the castle wasn’t helping, Macho took a second to think as he tried to calm his cousin down. Knowing that your fear was only a few feet away couldn’t bring the best feeling in the world. “Hey…you wanna go home? You can finish eating there if you want.”

“I’m not hungry anymore…”

Pulling tissues out of his conveniently placed pockets, he gave them to the Prince. “Here, dry your eyes and then we’ll head to my house. Sounds good?”

The Prince mumbled something lowly, gently moving out of Macho’s hold as he wiped away the streaks. “Okay…I-I’m ready.”

Foomin had nothing but good intentions, Macho never stopped believing that for a second, but now it didn’t sound like it would lead to nice impacts. Macho had doubts about it before, only giving Foomin his approval because he wanted to have faith in her. She was only trying to help, it wasn’t like they had any notions of their own. After everything the Prince revealed to him, forcing him into a place where his biggest fear lay wasn’t helping, certainly not after his last nightmare. Should taking him back for breakfast even be considered? He glanced back, his cousin fiddling around with a sleeping bag. “Hey, Prince? I’m sorry if it felt like we were forcing you to come to dinner, I didn’t…know all that was going on.”

“It kinda felt like it at first, maybe it was just how pushy Foomin was…but a bit of me wanted to go anyway. I don’t want mama to think I don’t love her either, and I miss her.”

She misses him too, Macho wanted to say, it was written all over her face. 

“You wanna go back for breakfast tomorrow?”

Shockingly, the Prince slowly nodded, “I think so… I don’t know if he’s gonna be there or not…but it’s fine, because mama won’t let him do anything. And…I guess if I don’t wanna be scared of him anymore, I should be around him a lot to face my fears…he said he’s sorry, he’ll try not to hit me anymore.”

The Prince looked unsure of the old man’s sincerity, and so was Macho. How many times had the King apologized for destroying the stars, only to do it again months later? How often would he say assuring things just to get him out of trouble? Perhaps he was truly sorry, perhaps he wouldn’t harm the Prince so much, but what if it was just a way to make the Queen happy? Worst case scenario, he’d only stay honest to get the Prince to warm up to him again. And if the Prince doesn’t meet his Katamari expectations the next time he's sent out to roll? Another punch, another laser to the eye. Whatever stopped him from causing great harm to the Prince last time, Macho had no clue.  But if that doesn’t stop him the next time though, then...

 “He better.”  What could he do at his minuscule size? Probably not much, but he’d try.  Foomin was always his go-to person to cause chaos of vengeance, so he didn’t have to worry about doing it alone. Who else, Kuro? Lucha, definitely him, Macho saw the guy wrestle an entire bear with his own eyes.

“Sometimes I wanna forgive him, sometimes I don’t. It’s wrong to be unforgiving to someone who takes care of me and gives me gifts…but to forgive him, I’d have to talk to him independently, and h-he might get mad about me avoiding him and he’ll punish me again… maybe we can do it over letters?”

“But if you’re so scared of him that your nightmares keep getting worse, do you wanna rush it?” No use of the green royal getting too over his head only for things to backfire. The Prince shot him a look of confusion. “Forgiving him, facing your fears, all that stuff.”

“I can’t hide from him forever…and even if I don’t like him that much anymore, I should at least try. Is it okay not to like him?”

“I wouldn’t either if he did that to me.”

“Yeah but…it’s not the kind of dislike I have for Ace. I love my father still, and I love mama too, but that’s just because I have to, since they’re my parents. But I also love mama because I want to, and right now, I only love my father because I have to. But that doesn’t mean I hate him! Or…I don’t believe it does…I don’t know.”

“Maybe you should try to get some sleep, Prince” this wasn’t a type of discussion to go into grave detail about deep into the night, and he didn’t want the Prince stressing himself out. Macho was a bit confused himself, not sure whether to blame it on his exhaustion or the Prince’s weird way of explaining things.  “If you wanna go tomorrow, you can, okay?”

“Same seats?”

“Exactly the same, I promise.”

How many promises had he made today? Or was that a different cousin? It was starting to become harder and harder to keep track. 

“‘Night, Macho.”

“Goodnight, Princey.”

Chapter Text

Ack, last night’s game of hide and seek (without the seeking) wasn’t very fun. B-O-R-I-N-G. Every hour was uneventful. Oh look, a star twinkled. Good heavens, someone tripped on live television. The most excitement he had that night was tracing the weird patterns on his ceiling with his finger, but what else was there to do once there was nothing less to trace? The floors? Trace those patterns? Ha, no thank you, imagine if someone were to walk in on him doing that? He’d look like a madman, he’d be sent help immediately. The King didn’t like hiding out in his room, hearing everyone else hoop and hollow in joy from below -- he used to think this room was the best, a room that was fit for the royalest of the royal,  but that was only when he slept in it. All of it was to help his darling son, he thought fondly, but couldn’t he venture out elsewhere sometimes? The cousins, can’t they take the Prince to another room so he could live his normal life? A word with Foomin was necessary. Very important, no way could he do this again in the morning. Did they want him to go mad? 

Washcloth here, toothbrush there, a few kisses to his wife's forehead, and he’s out that bedroom door. How lucky was he, finally being able to sleep in there? And how unfortunate was he as well, being held captive there, not able to make a single sound lest he wanted the Prince to scream and tremble. A man of his size, with his energy and importance, shall not be confined in a single place for hours -- the cramps from being statue-still did a number on his joints.

“You’re so evil Nik, gross!”

“What did I do?”

“The cereal’s gonna get nasty!”

One voice, two voices, three?! And one of those voices sounded like the Prince, but he wasn’t supposed to be here yet, was he? No, not unless the King overslept…but not like that was possible, he hasn’t been able to get a single good night's rest lately, the most sleep he’s been able to get being just a few hours at most. They didn’t sound too close to where he was, the kitchen at best, so maybe he could zip back to his shared bedroom before the teeny tiny Prince could notice-

“Don’t be so picky, Prince, the cereal ends up being way dryer this way!”

“That’s his point, idiot, it’s gross.”

“Like you have room to talk about brains, Foomin. You guys like eating your cereal moist ?”

“Don’t…don’t say moist ever again, it sounds weird coming from you.”

They’re getting closer. Fast. How much land could those tiny legs cover?! Nik caught a glance of him, almost choking on the bite of cereal he was working through. Thinking quick, no, quicker than quick, he frantically stepped in front of his two cousins. Laughing in an odd frivolous fashion, he waved his arms. “Um…a-actually guys, I don’t think we should eat here! Don’t wanna waste anything on the carpet, do we? Isn’t it new?”

“We can eat in the Prince’s other room then, no problem.”

“Yeah, it’s okay to make messes there.”

Okay, it wasn’t, but the King was certain he was the last person the Prince wanted to hear that from. Making a mental note to thank Nik later, he rushed back to his office(the bedroom was so far away, they’d see him in no time), closing the door with just enough force that they couldn’t hear it. That was close, he shivered inwardly with a racing heart.

 A little too close for his liking.

Nik was already on his wit's end ever since he found out the Prince had been getting mistreated, and nothing from the following weeks helped him feel any calmer. Foomin figuring everything out was almost enough to make him weak in the knees, and watching her tell all 58 of their cousins gave him a sensation he never wanted to go through again.  So yes, a pre-breakfast breakfast was necessary, he rightfully deserved every bit of it. Foomin met up with him during the flight to the castle, and to his surprise, the Prince was right by her. Dinner had gone well, but it looked like it took a while for him to fully relax. How can he be willing to eat breakfast a day later? Was Foomin’s plan actually working? Y’know what, he’s a little confused, but all of this thinking was starting to make his head hurt. Eating was so much easier.

While the two cousins ridiculed him for his weird cereal preparation styles, he caught a glimpse of fancy white leggings, with fancy golden anklets to match. And that posture…that shadow…the King?! With luck on his side, he acted fast enough so the Prince couldn't see him, nudging them to go back into the kitchen and wait for the others. It worked, phew, and the three of them stepped right back around from whence they came. The rest of their relatives came soon, keeping up the same amount of noise from yesterday. This time, nobody stared. Not a question about his injuries, not a single one…aside from the small bunch that excitedly wrote their names and doodled on his bandages, wondering if it still hurts. 

“Does this mean you’ll eat with us every day again?” Marcy spoke hopefully while signing her name, taking painstaking care with her cursive. “I know being a Prince is hard and all, but we really missed you.”

“I’ll try to, sorry for not being around that much.”

“Ahh, don’t worry about it now, man, can’t blame yourself for it.”

“Did you sleep okay?” Honey, being Honey, didn’t think anything of the question she had asked…but then she caught sight of the tense, warning looks some cousins sent her way, along with the Prince’s befuddlement.  “You looked really sleepy yesterday, so I was just wondering!”

 “I slept fine…thanks?”

The Queen was thrilled to see that the Prince had returned, looking loads more lively than he did yesterday. She’d be fibbing if she didn’t have any confidence in Foomin’s little idea at first, yet with how well dinner went last night along with today, perhaps the young girl had saved their relationship as a family after all. A gift of appreciation would have to be issued out to her whenever she got the chance, the rest of her nieces and nephews would get something too. Giving everyone their retrospective plates and meals, the Prince caught her off guard with a small question.

“Where’s father?”

“He’s…uh…still in his office, sweetie, you know how things are. He’d take a break, but he doesn’t want to intrude on our breakfast with any negative energy.”

“He…he can eat with us.”

That time, things did die down, all giving querying glances, or for Odeko’s case, skeptical. 

“Oh, I don’t know darling…he’s already stressed out enough as it is.”

Going with the Queen’s words, Odeko leaned closer to the royal cousin. “Yes, P-Prince, don’t you think you’re jumping the gun a teeny bit?”

“Yeahhhh, if he wants to focus on making those humans happy, we should let him.”

“But it’ll only take half an hour!”

“Maybe the Prince isn’t thinking straight, detachment issues are common with children I suppose,” in hindsight, that sounded ten times ruder than Odeko meant it to be, but it was all for a good reason. How is he going to go from having night terrors about the man to wanting to see him overnight? It’s ridiculous, and would completely destroy the purpose of Foomin’s strategy. Alright, they had agreed that they’d take this one step at a time, but the brainiac was also under the assumption that those steps would happen over the span of weeks, even months! The dirty look the Prince shot him silenced him quickly.

“I don’t need you speaking for me, Odeko, I know what I want. He’s my father, he should eat with us.”

Silently, everyone distrusted if this was a good idea. Lie again? Or go with what he wanted? He was insistent, stern in the voice about his decision…so there wasn’t a big chance of them being able to persuade him. With reluctance, the Queen nodded. “Very well then, I’ll speak with him. Give me just a moment.”

Her footsteps faded.

“Now Prince-”

“He’s gonna eat with us, drop it,” The Prince muttered before Odeko could get the third word out, spiking a fork into his food. “Just shut up and eat your pancakes, okay?”

“I’m just looking out for you!”

“I don’t need you to, I’m fine!”

"Sure you’re fine, Prince.”

“Y’know what else is fine? Um…the way Lucha totally wrestled that alligator last week, it was so cool,” Foomin gave a desperate grin to the shirtless cousin beside her, who chugged the rest of his milk down to snappily go along with her story.

“Oh, oh yeah! I almost forgot about it, that shark I took down yesterday is all that’s been on my mind, haven’t even thought about that alligator!”

“You fought one for real?! Was it huge?”

Thank goodness he was easily distracted by these kinds of things…

“You bet your stars it was huge. Y’know how tall humans are? The alligator I fought was like, ten times that, maybe even bigger .”

“How’d you run into it?”

“Your d- I mean…I was sent out to roll a Katamari, full of whatever danger I could get my hands on. Some rebellious little boy wanted one, and of course, I was the perfect guy for the job. Y’know where I had to start? Nowhere else than the thickest jungle -- no, not you, Jungle -- I’ve ever been in. A five-centimeter Katamari, and that demon of a human wanted 80 in five minutes. Scorpions were here, campfires were there, but then, THEN, I saw this nasty scaly thing coming out of some water.”

The King was here. He wasn’t very confident if what was going on was a good thing either, his face wearing an expression of caution as he quietly sat in the head seat of the table -- a good thing, however, was that the Prince was far too invested in Lucha’s ramblings to notice the giant on the other side of the table.

“I thought it was an old rival of mine from the boxing ring, waiting for the perfect moment to get his sweet taste of revenge. Though how sweet can revenge taste when it’s out of envy? Anyways, the thing revealed itself, but it wasn’t that rival after all! It was the biggest alligator to ever exist, with teeth that were sharper than a million knives. My Katamari was way too small to just roll him up, so I had to take down this fiend with my own two hands.”

“You weren’t afraid of that thing?”

“Afraid? Ha, no, never! I flipped that thing right out of the water before it could even make a sound, bonked him a few times, and…a few other things I can’t go into detail with. He’s all kinds of battered up, wimps right on back to that pond with his friends, and all of it got wrapped up in two minutes.”

“I saw all of it from a tree, the most nerve wracking thing I’ve ever seen,” Foomin concluded with semi-forged enthusiasm. Hard to be hyped for a fight that didn’t really happen…or did it? Lucha was always finding things to beat up, who knows how many alligators he’s come across in his wrestling profession?

“You thought that was nerve wracking, wait until  I tell you all about the shark!”

The King was speaking to the Queen now, Foomin took a second to peek in that direction. Not too loud, the cousins talking and the noises of forks scraping against plates were more than enough to drown him out. Great, they had this thing all figured out, didn’t they? As long as Lucha kept prattling on with his numerous stories for just a little bit longer, the Prince wouldn’t even notice his dad. 

“Foomin!!”

Someone kicked her, and as she turned her head to tell of the asshole who did it, she was met with Velvet’s nervous stare. Secretly, the maturest cousin jerked a thumb towards the Prince, and that nervousness spread to her when she saw the boy shifting his attention elsewhere.

“And this thing was huge, amigo, a skyscraper would cry if the shark towered over it! I really thought  I was done for, it looked like it had a hankering for blood. You’ve seen those hostile sharks in those movies before?”

“Oh, yeah yeah, those are the meanest ones. A-and the shark you fought, it was a mutant too, wasn’t it?”

“Whew, thanks for reminding me, Foomin. You should’ve seen it, Princey, five arms,  it had more muscles than me, and not those little floaty fake ones. Those babies were real.”

“They could crush steel!”

“More than steel, titanium!”

The Prince turned towards Lucha with a curious muse. “What’s that?”

“The heck if I know, it’s tougher than steel, that’s for sure. But the question is, was he tougher than me? ‘Course not, I punched that shark right in its face, but it came back for more. Y’know, it almost tried to take my arm, then I gave him a black eye that he won’t be able to get rid of for years.”

“And he was totally toothless by the end of it."

"Yep, not a single fang in sight. "

"And right after the shark sank, there was another shark."

"Oh, stop lying," Ace snorted briefly, eventually having enough of all the bragging Lucha was doing. "Nobody can fight two sharks in a row, you'd still be tired after the first one. "

"Not the King! OH NO, no no, I-I meant,  um, I uh…."

"Shy meant to say, um, the King could do it, but not as well as Kuro could, or Lucha. But enough about him, he's boring. "

Shy was no longer allowed to speak at the table either, Foomin decided. 

Lucha went on and on, trying his absolute hardest to keep the Prince’s concentration by making the story more and more insane. Even with those wack-ass details and Foomin’s attempts to assist him, they could see that he was starting to get bored. Now what, kick someone out of a chair to see if that did the trick?  Honestly, if Foomin was in the Prince’s place, those stories would be enough to hold her in place for hours straight, fake or not. Another royal thing she'd never understand, she supposed, never finding things interesting for too long. Checking again, the King had his eyes on the Prince too, not making the slightest effort to make the staring less suspicious. Oh, he better not think about trying to talk to him.

"Princey, um, how did you like your present?"

Goddammit, Foomin. All of that had been the King’s idea, and of course that wouldn't be a pleasant thing to bring up with everything that was going on…

"I liked it...all of it, thank you."

At long last, the Prince caught a glimpse of his father, who quickly averted his gaze to make it seem like he had been observing the chandelier the entire time. A very kingly thing to do, yes? He wanted to believe that he had looked away fast enough, or it had been his mind playing tricks on him and the Prince hadn't looked his way at all…but he had sensed it, just a bit, sensing that the Prince was disturbed. The boy must have felt singled out, thinking that at any given moment the King could strike him. But no, he'd prove the mini Prince wrong! This seat, he'd stay on it, and he'd keep to himself. He didn't have to actually talk to him, right? He was simply invited to eat with them, which in some ways felt awkward being that this was his own family. 

"He's not gonna hurt you, Princey, " he could hear Macho whisper to him, a soft hand on his shoulder. "He'd have to get through us before he can get to you."

Like that was going to be a challenge,  when all he had to do was knock them down like bowling pins. Maybe it was the cousins' fault for failing to keep him preoccupied. Or was it the Prince’s fault for inviting him in the first place? Ew no, putting blame on the Prince was something the old King would've done, and his son didn't like the old King at all.

The King of All Cosmos did a swell job not looking down that table for a great amount of time.  It was so easy, pitifully easy, a baby could've done it. 

What wasn’t so easy was dealing with the awful feeling that struck him when, out of the blue, the Prince excused himself to leave with urgency in his voice.  Even then, he dared not to glance away from his plate, but that didn’t stop his peripheral view from picking up the tiniest green speck rushing past. 

"At least he's making an effort, dear, " came the Queen’s words of comfort, a sad smile to match. "He's able to be in the same room with you now after two weeks, that's something. "

Something yes. An improvement, yes. But a hopeful one? Not to the King.

Chapter Text

"ODEKO! WE ARE IN DIRE NEED OF YOUR FREAKISH INTELLIGENCE AT ONCE!!"

Late in the evening, Odeko had been putting all of his focus on creating a brand new snife (a spoon that could transform into a cutting knife at the flick of a button, something the world needs), but at the loud bellow of his uncle, Odeko dropped what he was doing immediately and flew off his planet. He wasn't particularly peachy keen with his uncle either, but If he was just a second late, he'd probably end up down those stairs too. What could the royal master of screw-ups want this time? Did something need fixing? 

"H-here I am, your majesty! " Out of breath and struggling for air, the second tallest cousin still made sure to kneel as he slid through the throne room. "How may I be of your assistance on this sufficient evening? "

A sigh. The King crossed one leg over the other, seemingly struggling with finding the right words to explain the situation. "To begin….you are aware of the problem between me and the Prince, yes?"

"Oh nooo, it's only been the one thing everyone's been talking about for two days straight…how could I have known, your greatness? "

"Spare Us your witty remarks, yes? We must ask a favor from you. An urgent favor, for We aren't sure if We can take much more of this. "

This should be rich, Odeko thought with partial amusement as he gazed at the Kong, curious of what the favor could be.

"We appreciate all of the cousins attempting to help the Prince get over his fear…he's even starting to push himself, he wouldn’t dream of being near us a few weeks ago. "

"But?"

"Buutt, it's about time We take direct action, yes? Call Us insane, wanting to rush things so soon… but do you know how to get the beloved Prince to warm up to us once more? Oh, and We don't want to hear anything that involves us hiding, that's soooo lame."

"If the severity of the situation wasn't so elevated, I would suggest for you to walk up to the Prince and talk things out like a traditional family. But, well, I guess that's not the case, huh?  Thanks to your unbridled actions of outrage, the Prince doesn’t trust you, maintaining the fear that you'll abuse him again if you see him.  Therefore, while I'm not entirely comfortable with this advice,  you and the Prince should try to have a monitored intervention. "

"....are you telling Us We need a shrink, Our insignificant nephew? "

"If that's what you would like to name it, sure. And if that turns out all swell, you should try spending more time with the Prince doing…dad things, whatever. You know what he likes, right? "

The King would've laughed if he was in a joking mood, though clearly, he wasn't. Odeko was the brains in the family, yes? Runner up to the brainiac King himself? Such a moron, Odeko was when it came to reading the room. This was the Prince's wellbeing they were talking about, not a funny matter at all. Not only that, but the unsturdy quill substitute had the nerve to shoot daggers at his parenting knowledge too? He might not know how to deal out punishments correctly, he was fine with admitting that loud and clear, but what kind of dad didn't know what their children liked? A deadbeat dad, an awful dad, that's who.

"What kind of father do you take Us for? Of course We know what Our own son likes! The thrill of rolling, yes, that's what Our little superstar enjoys. "

"Other than rolling, your airheadedness."

Spotting the King’s icy glare, Odeko corrected himself with a clear of the throat. "I meant…your majesty. The Prince is interested in other things that don't involve Katamaris, as all children are."

"Pfft, We knew that! The Prince, so tiny and cute, he absolutely adores ...."

A beat of silence took place instead of words, but it wasn't a silence of forgetfulness, okay? Yes, really, there are so many things that the Prince loved to do, it was hard to pick a favorite to talk about. Odeko gave a sigh of impatience, sitting crisis cross applesauce on the ground, taking the liberty to finish the sentence.

"Photos."

"What?"

"The Prince loves to take pictures, or that's what I inferred from how often I used to hang out with him. Have you seen his scrapbook? "

"The Prince has a scrapbook ?!" The shock, the disbelief! He's known the dashing Prince for six, long years, almost seven. That was enough time for him to know the boy like the back of his hand, wasn't it? Does the Prince not come to him about the things that thrill him? The King had the sharpest memory around, even with the occasional slippage of memories, and he could recall many instances of the Prince running up to him, bouncing in joy as he rapidly talked about some new thing he learned about. Several drawings had been lifted up to the King's eyes, all while the infinitesimal Prince waited for praise. If he heard every word or not, that detail probably wasn't so important, but he knows the Prince. Where did this scrapbook come from, then? How could someone all-knowing be so clueless about this photo-taking hobby of the Prince? "How come We've never heard of this?"

"...oh man, this is worse than I thought. So not only do you seem to be unaware of the Prince’s interests, but the Prince also feels as if coming to you with these interests would be a waste of time…or rather, perhaps he did bring it up to you, but you didn't care."

The King was silent this time, so Odeko took it as a sign to continue. "Excluding the numerous times that you've wreaked havoc on those poor stars, how often do you just spend time with the Prince? "

"Well…We read stories to him sometimes during the day when he asks for one. And we've flown around earth a few times together. Doesn't that make the very definition of the father-son bond?"

Bedtime stories too, but that was rare. The Prince didn't sleep over at the castle much, though that was more so a fault of the King's than the Prince. Sending your boy out so soon wasn't too mean and bitter, he highly believed this at some point in his life. The five-year-old Prince was so pitifully feeble back then, and that just couldn't do. Wanting to eat clouds? Hugging things? No, he had to learn how to be tough, self-independence needed to be placed in him as soon as possible. As of now, in this very chair, none of it sounded very good...

"If those are the only non-katamari filled memories you have, I doubt it."

"So now what?"

"What do you think? Try doing stuff that he likes when he's comfortable talking to you again. Take a look at his scrapbook, make him feel proud, something . And regarding the monitored intervention I brought up earlier, I will be the monitor. Makes sense, doesn't it? When it'll happen is totally up to you. "

"Yes…" Well, his evening is definitely set - the King’s chat with Odeko had been brief, yet it still gave him tons of things to think over. "If We want to do it sometime today, that shouldn't be rushing it, yes? The Prince is mature enough to want to invite us to eat with him. He stayed for such a long time! We're so proud. Shouldn't he be more than ready to talk to Us now?"

"Keep in mind that when you initially sat down, the Prince had no idea of your presence thanks to Lucha keeping him preoccupied. I'd say if it weren't for Foomin mentioning your gift, he wouldn't have seen you the entire time. The Prince is trying, I can't say he isn't, but if he can't stay near you for more than three minutes, we shouldn't try to force him to talk to you so soon."

Wow, okay, wishy-washy much? If the decision was totally up to the King, how come this decision wasn't so suitable? The Prince can only stand around him for three minutes tops, but that didn't pose the slightest problem to the ever so confident King. A three-minute intervention could take place, perhaps even two if greetings and formalities were thrown out of the way - they're still family, so why bother saying hello like they were strangers? A perfectly comfortable amount of time for his little Prince, yes?

"We can risk it. All of this icky tension needs to be out of the way as soon as possible."

"If that's what you want..."

"You are going to find the Prince later this afternoon after dinner, and bring him to Us in this very room," the King pointed at Odeko, who nodded as fast as he could muster. "We hope you know what you're doing, complacent Odeko. If this ends up with the Prince hating Us even more than he already does, We'll have to break Our promise to the Queen regarding the anti-violent streak We got going. Understood?"

"Yes, sire, affirmative, sire...may I ask you a question?"

He had been planning to send Odeko back home, considering that the conversation had been wrapped up already. There wasn't much they could do to make process while the Prince wasn't around, and the King yearned for a little time alone so he could think about the things he'd say to his son when the moment came. With a tone of unamusement and the look to match, the King lent a royal ear."Oh, sure. Make it quick, We have things We need to consider."

"The Prince isn't bad, is he?"

Depends on what everyone's definition of bad was...the Prince wasn't a straight-up arsonist or anything of the sort, the boy doesn't yell at his parent or breaks lamps on purpose. And he doesn't act too different when his cousins are around, either, not unless he wanted to impress one of them. So no, the Prince wasn't too bad, not on a daily basis...but then, something had to be up with those awful Katamaris. So tiny, so naked, just the mere thought of the past balls of clumped Earth was enough to make a shudder travel up the King's spine. Every single time, the King gives criticism on how to make the pitiful Katamris way fancier, and when he looks at the Prince's face, it seemed like he was paying attention very well. Apparently, he wasn't taking those criticisms to heart, because he'd still make the same mistakes over and over again. Didn't he care? Doesn't he know that he's breaking those poor humans' hearts every time he presents those sad Katamaris to them? A thought came across the King's mind - the young Prince was tired of rolling Katamaris, yes, and failing was his silent little way of letting him know. Nah, no way, everybody loves Katamari Damacy. So many humans from below would want to take the Prince's place in a heartbeat, there's no way his son was getting sick of it.

Oh right, Odeko asked him something. "Hmm...no, We suppose not."

"Then what could he have conceivably done to warrant you lashing out at him in such a violent way?"

"Easy, we misunderstood the reason why his Katamaris were constant failures, and We punished him before he could properly explain himself. Waiting would've been the smart thing to do, We see that now, but We honestly didn't mean to make him fall down the stairs."

"And before then?"

"Before what?"

"You've beaten the Prince prior to that day, I believe."

There it goes, another cousin who thinks he's using his fists as a form of punishment. Don't they know anything about being fabulous? Punching gloves didn't clash well with his royal attire, big yuck. Once was enough, never again would he put on those things to hit the Prince...not that he had plans to hit the Prince again anytime soon, no, he needs to make progress. "We'd never hit the Prince with Our bare hands, Odeko. What're you getting at?"

"If the Prince hasn't done anything to merit these penalties, yet you're continuously subjecting him to them, something has to be a link," Odeko brought his hands together to go along with his explanation.  "And that link could quite possibly come from your end, perhaps originating from a few personal issues from your past and such. Hope you don't mind me inquiring for such information, but are you treating the Prince like our grandfather treated you?"

Nah. Right? He never made the Prince wear ballerina clothes or forced him into wrestling contests. He doesn't forbid the Prince from hanging out with the earthlings below...he had his two little friends down there, didn't he? The King shook his head...annoying or not, the man was still his dad. "Nonsense, We're simply raising the Prince to succeed in life, why would We be inspired to take that old man's way of parenting?"

"How are you raising the Prince to succeed?"

"By..."

Lasers. And lightning strikes. But his father didn't do any of that stuff to him, so that couldn't be an influence...but his father also had a tendency to belittle him. And yell. Hitting... he hit the Prince. Again, only once, but that didn't make it any less impactful. It wasn't a hard punch, the King didn't like to think it was...the Prince was fine afterward, just a little sad, but he got right back up and got to work. Or was he truly hurting on the inside, and was afraid to show it for the slight chance that he'd get hit again if he did? 

His staple idea of parenting came from his father after all...the King never took a step back to notice it before, having such a hectic life...but it's not like he knew. Was this worse than the things Papa did to him? Had he asked this to anyone else, he just knew they'd give him a look, shouting their answer. Yes, of course that's worse. 

"We hurt him. We didn't think it was too bad, but We truly did..."

No wonder the Prince had this fear of him harbored in his mind. Seeing someone so tall and overpowered blasting lasers at you wasn't a very calming sight, and everything else he's done to the Prince before probably resurfaced in his mind the moment he woke up.  A heartwrenching thought, a very uncomfortable - the Prince thought of him as some kind of...of monster, even more frightening than the one that was allegedly camping out under his bed! The Prince wasn't going to get over this unless he saw some active change from the King...so it was time for yet a new era of parenting. No more punishments that didn't involve corners or a night without suppers, no more showing disapproval to anything the Prince makes. "Go now Odeko, leave Us alone right now. We have things We need to plan."

A little confused about the sudden conclusion of their conversation, yet not wanting to start anything, Odeko nodded quietly as he got off of the ground. "Very well then, your greatness, I'll be sure to talk to the Prince soon." With a bow, he left the castle.

Chapter Text

Even with the hectic life that had been thrown at the cousins lately, everyone still had enough spark in them to find excitement when evening arrived. Lots were hopeful that the young Prince was getting better already, paying absolutely no mind to the unsure words from Macho, or even Odeko. Rude, ugh, but the tall cousin couldn't bring himself to be annoyed with them for looking at the bright side of the situation. All in all, this entire situation was sad to think about for a long period of time, and just a single look at the Prince could be enough to make the coldest hearts wrench. If they wanted to be positive, he'd let them, what did it matter to him?

He shouldn't be interested, because he had different things on his reserved mind. With the promise of a 10-star meal waiting for them at the castle, it was no shock that his cousins would be chanting words of anticipation on the way to the castle...but honestly, dinnertime came a little too quickly for Odeko's liking. The King's demand was fresher than a fish in his mind, and he often found himself getting more and more nervous as time passed.

He wanted to bring the Prince over. Okay, that's all good and dandy, but Odeko was the retriever this time, not Foomin. With the few hours he once had, the purple cousin had silently gone over what he'd say to the distrustful Prince, eventually landing on a mental debate about whether or not it would be better to mix up the truth a bit, or to just come out with it. He didn't want the Prince to dislike him more than he already did, so Odeko went with the good choice. The Prince wasn't very fond of him right now, and he definitely won't want to follow him to his father's room...but an order's an order, right? When that time came, the Prince should understand the entire situation after he hears Odeko's wonderfully crafted explanation. 

The Prince shot him a dirty glance when they first sat down. Then another one when the King sat down and Odeko asked if he was alright. Three, then four, eventually he lost count. The dreadful dismissal came, he quickly grabbed the Prince's arm before he could skedaddle, and he was predominantly not amused with the contact. "What is it, Odeko? Make it quick, I have things to do."

"Oh yes, unquestionably. Forgive me for such an interruption, but I do think you can hold off playing with blocks for ten minutes," he's supposed to be nice, just a good act to hopefully win the Prince over, but he just couldn't help himself. Hurrying with his request before the Prince could snap at him, Odeko bit back a smile. "I've been ordered to take you to the throne room this instant. The King wants to speak with you."

He could hear his cousin's breath hitch quite dramatically, whatever annoyance he was feeling before being washed away like wet paint.  "H-he does? What'd I do?"

"Nothing at all, Prince, don't panic. He just wants to discuss what transpired, and since I have his authorization to be in the same room while he speaks to you, I can safely assure you that no acts of violence will be committed during your stay in the throne room. 99 percent guaranteed, my fellow cousin!"

"Oh, noo no, I-I can't go there, he's still mad at me!"

"Nonsense, Prince, any bitter sentiments he once had towards you are long gone. I've just had a conversation with the King not too long ago, and from the looks of it, he's sincerely sorry and wants to change for the better. Obviously, I'm not saying that those words would unexpectedly be of consolation to you, but that should be something to contemplate. If he wants to be a better parent, he's going to have to talk to you sooner or later...and in this case, it's sooner."

The Prince did take a moment to process everything, averting Odeko's expectations. "You'll...you'll be there the entire time?"

"Affirmative, Prince."

"Promise," it wasn't a question or a plea, but a straight-up demand as the Prince held out a hand to shake. "Promise you'll stay and he's not gonna try anything, 100 percent guaranteed."

"But 99-"

"100 percent."

At least the Prince wanted to be around him instead of constantly giving him looks of distaste...granted, this could all be fueled out of fear and the Prince only wanted him there to stop anything bad from happening...but that's something, way better than the treatment he's been getting lately. Odeko gave the Prince his hand before giving it a firm, proper shake. "You have my word, Prince. Nothing bad is going to happen, and I'll retain my position next to you the entire time. Swell?"

"Peachy."

"Great, then let's stop dragging around and actually get going, shall we? Just because he won't get mad it you doesn't mean he'll be the same for me."

Being patient wasn't very easy, all the King could do was share his attention between the ruined curtains and the door. Bringing the Prince to the very room the catastrophe started in wasn't exactly the wisest choice to settle on...but the King had only noticed that way too late. By now, Odeko was probably talking to the Prince to persuade him to come along - which was taking a huge amount of time - so changing plans wasn't a choice. The Prince should be okay, the large royal thought to himself to stay positive. Who knows, he probably won't even notice all the burn marks, or at the very most he'll forget where they came from and assume that it's just a tacky fashion statement. Curtain fashion. Was that a thing? They were very dress-like, even shirt-like, and the King would be a liar if he didn't think that those scorch marks would make one hell of a pattern for some pants-

"Your majesty."

Oh, there they were. Odeko stood nearby, his posture abnormally straight, with an arm thrown around the Prince's shoulder. The boy himself didn't look too enthused to be here, holing his wrist close to him - the King quickly looked away from the wrist before unpleasant thoughts could form - as he looked upwards. "Yes, Odeko, thank you. Remind us to give you some taxes as a reward, yes?" The King acknowledged his nephew's efforts, who brightened up with joy upon hearing his soon-to-be present. With that aside, the King shifted focus to his slightly shaking son. "Hey there, stranger."

"Hi." Well geez, never had his son waved to him like he was an actual stranger, a timid voice to match.

"Dear Prince, your father has something he would like to talk to you about, remember?" Odeko nudged the Prince forwards just a few more inches. "Don't be scared, he won't harm you. Uncle, get on with it, please."

That was easier said than done - suddenly being put on the spot, the King didn't have the slightest clue on where to begin. Why did he knock the Prince down the stairs? wait, no, he had already done that the first time he tried to apologize, that hideous failed attempt. Try again? Eh, redundancy was not something the King was a huge fan of, it took sooo much energy out of him. Oh, think, he had to say something that wouldn't make him look like a total idiot, not with his three-minute time limit. "Prince...you're afraid of Us, yes?"

The Prince nodded.

"Of course...We know that the awful thing We did that day is the main reason why you're so cautious...but, well, before that happened, were you afraid of Us then?"

"Um...s-sometimes...no...i-it's not entirely you, just..."

"It's fine, We get it. You aren't the problem, small Prince, not all the time. We use all those super intense punishment methods on you because...they were used on Us, and We figured since they helped formed us into the glorious figure you see in front of you...maybe it would work for you too? We didn't think it would scare you too much or anything, you never looked scared then, so We figured that was the silent sign that things could continue the way they were."

"Papa punished you too?" aw, his little voice of disbelief and shock, the King would smile a teeny smile any other day.

"Yes, even We weren't spared from treatments of shame."

"So all kings are supposed to treat Princes like that then, so they'll be tough and good at ruling the cosmos and stuff."

All of that made the King tough alright, he loves that about himself. But, surely, the Prince didn't need to grow up thinking that harming people was the only way to get them to toughen up. With the Queen as his mother, the Prince should have that principle nailed in his skull already, but it was more than clear now that the boy believed that everything the King was doing was...right? He's never seen him hit any of his cousins before, so the King didn't know how true his accusations were, so maybe the Prince didn't look up to him that much for it to influence his behavior. 

"No! No, silly Prince, that's not right at all. Your grandfather had his own troubles, and he didn't know how to deal with them, so he took that out on Us. Yes, he wanted Us to be just as great as a King as he once was, he wanted us to succeed with the best of the best. But you know what he did to make us succeed? He made us dance, he gave us thousands of papers to do for homeschooling, piano lessons, wrestling, and so much more. Our wrists were crying for mercy. And, ugh, he wouldn't't let Us play with the other kids no matter how outstanding We did with Our tasks, can you believe that?!"

He was quiet for a bit.

"That doesn't sound too bad compared to the things you do," was he jealous? No, never mind, he sounded upset. Upset with envy, actually, or possibly something else. Had he any idea of what it was like to have carpal tunnel by the age of four? "Papa doesn't hit you or strike you with lasers, and he doesn't yell at you for being just an inch short of his expectations."

"He punched Us, tiny Prince, shortly after he found out about Our relationship with the Queen...or maybe he was still angry about Us running away, never too sure...oh, he yelled at Us too. Like, all the time, it got so annoying."

"And punching and yelling at you was his way of helping you succeed, so that's why you're so awful with me."

"No no, punching is wrong. So are lasers, lighting, and those spontaneous speeches of shame. Papa wasn't very good at parenting, Prince, and he probably wasn't the best person to take influence from when you were born...but what other parent did We have as an example? He sucked at being a father, yes, very sucky, and so are We. We don't mean to hurt you the way We do, it feels worse to Us than it does to you...We want you to be a great ruler, but is that goal worth it when all it does is make Our own child fear Us? Not a jot," the King paused, clasping his hands as he recollected his thoughts.

The Prince was reserved, still a bit unsteady, but placed his keen attention on the King's explanation regardless. If the cosmic being didn't know any better, he'd say the Prince was a little confused too. Oh, no wonder, having the belief that everything your father did was exemplary only to be told otherwise must be a hard pill to swallow for such a young mind.

"We didn't want you to hate Us, Prince, We want you to think of Us the same way you think of your mother. And that can't happen unless We turn over a spanking new leaf, yes? Bright green leaves, they're so pretty...but anywho. We know We've said it before, but We're deeply sorry...not only for making you fall, but for the way We've been treating you for all this time. From now on, We'll be super duper nice. No more painful punishments, no more hitting, and We'll try not to be so harsh with Our criticisms. You work on your fear, We'll work on Our parenting. Deal?"

The Prince thought everything over in silence, was he looking for sincerity? He put his entire UMPH into those words, words that came from the heart...there's no way he could possibly be more truthful than that. The Prince looked at his wrist again - oh, maybe that was going into his decision too, oh god - just as unconvinced as ever.

"You're not...mad at me or anything?

"Nope."

"And you really mean it?"

"Positutely."

Taking a deep breath, his son uttered a response. "It's a deal, I guess...but um, I-I can't really forgive you right now." 

Ouch. Understandable, but it still stung.

"Of course, We don't expect it so soon. Forgiveness is an award that has to be earned,yes? A hard journey, hard indeed, but it'll be sooo worth it. Anything else on that teeny mind of yours you wanna speak about?"

"No, father."

"Well then, We're glad We were able to have this talk with you, little one. Go off now, seeya later." That went a lot quicker than the King expected. Where were the tears? The dramatic revelations with dramatic gasps of horror to match? Nobody died? Everyone is okay? Huh, goes to show that movies were nothing but fat-faced lies. That's the last time he'd let those silly pictures morph his expectations. The Prince nodded, bowed, and with Odeko following closely, they both left the King by himself. A weight had been lifted off of the King's shoulder - not a huge one, he could still see the fear written on the Prince's face, but at least the boy was aware that his father was going to make a change for the greater good. A small weight was good, yes.

Very extraordinary.

Chapter Text

The walk down the hall was filled with thick tension, or so it was in Odeko's eyes. He stayed behind the Prince instead of trying to get close, pretty much the first time he's done this ever since discovering the Prince was upset with him, picking up the negative energy immediately. Was it because the nerves from the meeting with the King finally ebbed away, and now he realized that he was near Odeko far longer than he would like to be? And fine, that would hurt a smidge, but he'd understand. But then, the Prince would've voiced those thoughts, wouldn't he? Odeko didn't see why that would change all of a sudden, not when his cousin had no problems expressing how much distaste he held for Odeko prior to now. It might be the King that's on his mind, that's what's got him so uncomfortably silent...but he looked mad too. Taking a risk for his life, Odeko took a few brisk paces to catch up to his royal cousin. "Hey, Prince...um...I know you're not very delighted with me right now-"

"And I probably never will be."

"Nice, and just know that I'm sorry. I never wanted to release such confidential information to our cousins, I-I really tried to restrain myself from doing so...but do you know how inquisitive they can be? Macho was going around the planets with Nik kicking down doors for explanations, they were even starting to blame me for what happened to you!"

"I trusted you."

"And I let you down. I'm aware, and I feel downright condemnable."

"I wouldn't have said anything if you told me something like that," the Prince muttered, Odeko biting back the snicker that almost revealed itself. Oh sure, the Prince was very wise and honest and all, but even he wouldn't be able to hold back the fact that his cousin was getting mistreated by his father if someone asked him to keep a secret. Wasn't that one of his weak points anyways? He heard Marcy mention something about having to keep the Prince and June distracted when it came to planning surprise parties, the chance of one of them letting it slip was far too high to just let them roam freely.

"Never?"

"Never."

"But if, by some chance, you did tell someone-"

"You'd be mad at me too."

"Yes, for a while. Yes, I wouldn't like you very much either, and I wouldn't want to even be in the same room with you, but sooner or later I would come to the culmination that in the long run, you told for a good reason. Because now I wouldn't have to keep it all to myself and have only one person to confide in, I'd have four. And those four people would do anything in their power to try to help me get over a fear, and they're the reason I'm able to even be within five inches of my dad. Can't really be too cross with you after all that, can I? You'd be the reason for all my progress. All is forgiven."

They walked in silence again, which, after giving such a rhetorical view of their situation, didn't exactly make Odeko feel very relaxed. Oh god, did he upset the Prince even further? He couldn't really see his face...but his hands weren't bunched up into tiny fists like they were before, that had to be something. "...so, y-you told Foomin? he's the one who always comes with Macho to my house, a-and she came to get me this morning."

Holy shit he catches on way too fast.

"No!" Odeko urgently denied, he didn't need yet another reason for the Prince to give him the cold shoulder. With the teeny tiny success he's made so far, watching it crumble would be oh-so upsetting. "We were...well, talking one day, the four of us, and we only mentioned the incident one time...and...we found out that she was spying on us. She had gotten particularly suspicious about the plenitude of people going over to Macho's house, and she thought that they type of people that was meeting up were weird too. We didn't tell her straight to her face, we all promised that it wouldn't leave the room..."

"Foomin knows...a-and she's always glaring at people whenever they bring up something bad, a-and she was trying so hard not to make me look...she told everyone?!"

"No, never! Well, not really? Prince, please understand that she had nothing but pure intentions!" Making attempts to put a halt to his cousin's paranoia-fueled thoughts were absolutely fruitless -- nobody else needed to receive the cold shoulder from him either, not even Foomin.

Having her find out about everything thanks to her own morbid curiosity annoyed him more than anything else...and even afterward, her pushiness and partial abrasiveness made it difficult to get along with her in so many ways. The Prince gets pissed off at her, she catches on, then she'll get pissed off at him, and nobody knows what kind of freaky, unspeakable things she would do to him if she catches him within her rage-filled sight. Pain. Won't be any worse than what the Prince had to deal with on a daily basis, but it would undoubtedly leave him looking identical to Opeo for a few weeks. A little Marcy 2.0, some had the toughest guts to say that loud, and if he wasn't slightly intimidated by her, he'd go with that opinion awfully quick.

"E-everybody knows, Odeko! if my dad finds out-"

"He knows."

"HE WHAT?"

"He's fine with it! I-it was all a part of our tactic, we had to intimidate him a little to get it to work!"

"Get what to work?!"

Slippage. Again.  "Foomin was worried about you, we all were, so she told all of our cousins what happened in order to successfully string our plan into helping you get over your fear, getting you into the castle, that sort of stuff. Foomin's not that far gone, she wouldn't be so bold to make such a risky move if she didn't have trust in us. "

"...she thought of all that?"

"Shockingly, yes. For my safety..and others, please don't start anything with her that might be dramatic. She wasn't doing this to humiliate you or anything, Prince, I'm sure of it. I didn't mean it, she didn't mean it, so can't we just get rid of whatever anger there is between us and focus on what actually matters? Like..." he grabbed the wrapped arm and held it up for a lookover. "Your wrist, as an example. I think it's safe to take the cast off now, and being that I'm the only one who is trained for situations like this, I'll be the one to do it."

"You don't call the shots around here, I do," the Prince seized his hand away from the purple intellectual. "And I order you to take this off right now."

With a voice that didn't sound anywhere as mean as it had been for the past few days, Odeko allowed the slimmest of smiles to show. "Sure, your highness, whatever you say."

There was a comforting silence instead of a tensing one, both of them sitting on the floor in the living room --  to Odeko, true professionals could do this stuff anytime, any place, he scoffed at the ones who couldn't -- as Odeko worked. The Prince didn't seem so peeved at him anymore, or so that's what he interpreted the few seconds he glanced at his face. Some traces of it was still there, though frankly, Odeko believed that it was just a font. Oh, knowing the Prince he'd probably demand a gift before he could 'really' give his forgiveness. Such a fun thing to look forwards to, emptying his pocket for everything he had. And could the King stop it? The Queen? Not quite, they still weren't over their sympathy and guilt phase.

 "How's your eye, can you see well?"

"Yeah."

"And your head's fine too?"

"Nothing's scrambled."

"As if there was anything to scramble in the first place," he gave a totally not goofy and nerdish laugh, almost distracting him from his job. Everyone says Foomin's the funniest out of them all, but that had to be thanks to all of the nonsensical things that left her mouth 24/7. Please, she'd never get a chuckle out of someone who wasn't used to her. "But good, you got over it a lot quicker than I originally expected....o-oh, like, injury-wise, of course," he hastily corrected himself, that sounded a bit too insensitive in some way. "I mean, you're doing better in other regards too, way different from how things were two weeks ago. Being able to talk to him so quickly is great!"

"That's just because you were there," the Prince said, keeping a watchful eye on the scissors in Odeko's hand -- yes, being fingerless meant that it was quite hard to get a good precision when using them Odeko's a self-taught professional and all, even going as far as to give himself his own license in everything cool he could think of, but nobody was immune to making mistakes. "What if he wants to talk to me again when nobody's around?"

Alright, so that's the main issue -- with company around, no matter how scarce, the Prince had no issue going to the King as long as he was a safe distance away. The King's punishment happened while they were alone, and with how his uncle more than often contradicted himself with promises and speeches, it was no wonder why the Prince wouldn't want to spend any father-son bonding time with that man anytime soon. Odeko was skeptical of him too, even after he witnessed the King realizing his faults and hearing them admit them to the Prince with a straight face.

"We've been putting a lot of effort into making sure that doesn't happen..." he needed to mention this to the King sometime later, Odeko noted silently, "But if he does, I doubt he'll do anything as awful as he did that day. Just make sure he keeps the door open, tough it out like you've been doing, you'll be fine. He sounded pretty genuine with his apology."

"I know, but he's good at acting. It didn't even make sense!"

He paused with his cutting as he looked up. "Yeah? How so?"

"So what Papa did to my father was bad, and my father knew that it was bad when he was older and had me, and he knew that being like that won't make people happy, but he did all that stuff anyway! I thought everybody gets punished the way he punishes me, but nooo he just did what Papa did to him and made it ten times worse! And he looked so sad about his old punishments, how's being forced to take ballet any worse from getting lasered down the stairs?!"

"He...er...probably decided to just reveal the gist of his childhood to you, Prince, just to keep things short," Odeko spoke carefully after the brief outburst of ranting, even if he halfheartedly agreed. Nobody can have a villain origin story from being forced to do less than favorable activities, there just had to be more that was spared due to his young age. "There's absolutely no way he is the way he is just because of a few activities and questionably strict parenting. Even if there's more, I disbelieve it would be something you'd want to dig into at the moment."

"No, I do, because if he thinks I'm old enough to live by myself, then he should think I'm old enough to know grown up stuff too."

"...maybe it just pains him to bring it up, dear cousin," was he defending him? Kinda? Not genuinely, he simply didn't want the Prince to bring any more stress on himself that wasn't necessary. "Kinda like how it pains you to bring up his punishments. He'll let you in on everything when he thinks you're ready, don't stress yourself out over this."

"Fine, whatever. Are you almost done?"

"No, and unless you'd like to lose an arm I presumably wouldn't rush it," he joked as he made another 1 (whatever tf is smaller than a centimeter) cut, just 50 more and he'd be finished. It wasn't truly his intention, but those few words were enough to startle the Prince into silence, being observant of those scissors more than ever. Truthfully, that was fine with Odeko -- it was a lot better than an angry silence, something he hoped he wouldn't deal with for a long, long time.

Chapter Text

There's another pickle.

A conundrum-shaped pickle, dill scented and flavored, and the resolution for it didn't seem very well.

The King, even if he was so wary, had sent his nieces and nephews to earth - mostly Ace, who was more eager to do it than anyone else - to take place of the tiny Prince and roll Katamaris for the loyal subjects below. B-U-T, the King had slowly started to second guess his doubts once he saw, or assumed how well the cousins were rolling. Look at that size! Oh, their exquisite rolling techniques were something he's never seen before! so elegant, so speedy, and still managing to keep a pretty close accuracy to whatever the mortals wanted. He probably shouldn't think this if he's trying to be a new and better King, but some of them rolled even better than the Prince. They looked splendid, most of them did, and the King had figured that the earthlings shared those opinions as well. But guess what? Guess? They didn't.

They took them at the end, giving praise to the King and the selected cousin as the Katamari turned into a star, but there was always a comment or two that didn't sound so peachy and pleased. 'Oh, this is nice and all dude, but aren't they normally a lot bigger than this? Hey, how come the Prince doesn't roll these things? I think he does them best. Where's the Prince? Is he ill? Has he retired?

And the King had nonchalantly shrugged off these questions with whatever first came into his mind, but eventually, that didn't work. No, not when the questions turned into demands. 'We want the Prince!' they'd cry, no longer satisfied with the work of the cousins. Ungrateful little pigs, that's what they were, having the decency to have complaint after complaint even after witnessing the King's phenomenal star puffing power. 'Marcy is so nice, but she isn't a very good listener, huh? The Prince always listens, he barely even talks!' 'That Lucha bloke went off and rolled up any piece of danger he could get his hands on!' 'Tell Ace to get ahold of himself, I don't want a Katamari made of sunglasses!'

Look, the cousins were good, even if most of them were pretty apathetic in rolling. Dare he say it, they were amazing at this. He was supposed to be a new King, leaving all of those old distasteful traits behind and picking up qualities that would make him the best dad in the world...but if there was one thing that he'd like to keep, it must, absolutely MUST be his endless trail of adoring fans. If those Katamaris kept coming out the way they were, Princeless, then bam. No more fans, they'd vanish just as quickly as the stars once did during his drunken rampage.

What kind of King would he be then? A desolate, unloved one, and he couldn't have that at all. They wanted the Prince, he needed the Prince in order to be likable. A bit of him wasn't so sure if he should search for him himself...sending out a cousin again was easier on his part, but were good dads always lazy like that? He didn't think so, not in the movies he's seen. He can go to the Prince himself for once like the mature adult he was. He was quickly able to spot him at the Princedom with Marcy, banging drums as if they weren't people napping at this hour. Children, yes, only children, consideration wasn't a thing that kicked in for them. Maybe for the Prince? Just the teensiest smidge? Whatever, that's not what he's here for. The small Prince looked up from his drum as a large shadow was cast over the two of them, the drumming ceasing instantly.

He wasn't so jittery upon looking at him, no timbers were shivering and no tears were trickling. At most, he seemed to be...irritated at his presence? Ugh, rude, surely playing with Marcy couldn't be more important than ensuring the happiness of his fans. "Do you need anything, father?"

"Yes, Our good Prince. There's an emergency, a crisis, way too many things on the line! Stop being silly and get off the floor, We have much to go over with you," he held out a hand, ignoring every red light in his head that told him not to. Was there some hesitation? Only a few seconds, maybe five if his sometimes unreliable memory was right, but right as he expected the Prince to back away and say words of rebuttal, he carefully brought himself up to the gloved hand before him.

Love♥

So fuzzy and ticklish, even from the slightest action that he's seen many times before. It's been so long though, hasn't it? Weeks can feel like years. Had his little talk to the Prince opened his eyes to new perspectives? Did he no longer see the King as the big monster with no heart? If that view of him still existed, then fine, but it had to be fading away just a little bit. He did it! He got on his hand, such a proud moment! He didn't even scream, no bites or attempts to run away. The King was more than happy, yet he would have to relish in this feeling of progression later when his awesome reputation wasn't at risk of going down the drain. Neither of them spoke a word to each other on the way back - the Prince still looked annoyed from being ripped away from Marcy so abruptly, and the King didn't really know what else he could say. Strange, he normally didn't have a problem letting himself ramble to the Prince, who would sit there and take in every word without a sound. Never a sound. Kinda creepy.

"May I ask what the emergency is, father?"

Oh, finally. The thoughts on the Prince's silence were starting to weird him out for some reason. "Right, that. Beloved Prince, you know how adored We are on planet earth, yes? They admire Us, they really do! Our strikingly chiseled chin, Our bedazzling package...of, um awesomeness, like Our crown, and Our mustache! They just can't get enough of it! Oh, they love you too, Prince, they think you're adorable. A hard worker too, yes? However, ever since your cousins started taking over...great heavens, it makes Us feel all gross inside just thinking about it. We think Our popularity is starting to wane because of them, Prince...they haven't called Us cool in days! Erm, how is your wrist?"

"It's all good, Odeko took the bandages off."

"Great, wonderful...are you in a rolling mood?"

"No."

"No? Why not? Katamari Damacy is fun, Prince, We thought We established that years ago! You can still roll to your heart's contents, and We won't even give you time limits for a while! Just one Katamari, whenever that time comes. A small one for the small Prince, then that's it! Do whatever you want to do until the fans start to uproar again...please? We know that We're the ones that owe you a lot, but you know We can't lose Our fans, yes? It would make Us sad, very sad."

"I like my break, I get to play with Mama a lot," came his son's answer as he crossed his arms, back turned towards him...he didn't sound very sunny either. "And you told me that you shouldn't do anything for anybody until they do what they owe you."

"We said that? Really? Okay, scratch that, it doesn't apply to Kings, yes? Just roll up one katamari for Us, Prince, you're the best at making them!"

"That's not what you've been saying for half of my life."

Wowies, the shade. Wowies, the absolute unpleasantness in his style. Triple wowies, he was able to recall everything that's happened for three years straight! The King could never do that, old memories only resurfaced when it revolved around birthdays and such. Maybe the Prince's mind was the same way, only he could remember all the bad things instead of the good things...not something to go wowies over, huh? 

"Oh, Prince, We never really mean the things We say 24/7! We just say those things to make those yucky Katamaris glorious. Motivation!"

"Well if they're always so yucky, just let my cousins keep doing it, you think they're better at it anyway."

What's with the sudden attitude? Alright, the King wouldn't be very happy with someone who treated him like so either, but what about all of the promises he made? All the sweets, the money, the paper crowns, and the speech! A speech that his royal magnificent mind was able to whip up on the spot, all for his son. And the thanks he gets? Nothing but snark, a tone that made him sound as if he was less than happy to be here, and now he won't even turn to face him. Ah, his old counterpart would've corrected all of this with his normal punishments...but would the Queen do that? That's who he needed to think of if he wanted to be a good parent, he admitted. No no, the Queen would be so patient....something about talking things out regardless of the other person's feelings? Worth a shot.

"Exactly! But, don't tell anyone, they're starting to stink at it...bad. It's not even their rolling skills that are severely impaired, it's...everything else. Y'know how you're nice to the humans, and you always try your best to do what they ask? Your cousins, bless their failure-filled hearts, they can't seem to understand the requests.  Shy gets so nervous, she starts freaking out before I can even give her a time limit. And have you any idea the reasoning behind Ace's obsession with things that are cool? He's starting to worry Us. Yes, your Katamaris aren't very good sometimes, but at least you actually try. Super sorry for any not-so-cool things We probably said to you before. Wanna roll? Preferably before We become a laughing stock?"

"Just one Katamari," he agreed with a noise of annoyance, "Only one, an easy one, and that's it."

"You're so sweet, Prince. As sweet as ever, We're so lucky!"

A racket, so quiet and faint, but the King swore that it had a slight, 0.5% resemblance to a disrespectful scoff. Not very Princely, definitely not something you should do to a King...but he guessed he deserved it? No matter, at least he got the boy to agree with everything. Of course he would, the King's fans were fans of the Prince, and he was aware of that too, yes? 

"Is there anything else you want from me? The humans don't need a Katamari for the time being," he noted, the normal obnoxious shouts and pleas the humans would make being absent.

"Ah, We suppose We did already sort things out about Our popularity issue, didn't We. Just...stay over for a bit, Prince, We'll  do something nice."

"You and me?"

"Nothing more, nothing less," Odeko mentioned something about doing whatever the Prince liked once things were starting to move along. Was there any point in waiting now? The Prince was able to climb on his hand without a problem, not a single second of doubt raced through his mind. That's good enough of a sign that they could talk more, he was sure of it. "No rolling this time around, We promise. It's all on you."

And then, he got the Prince to glance up, doubting the sentence to leave his father's mouth. Was he that shady? That untrustworthy? "Okay."

Okay. That's the bar the King needed to break. Kinda-sorta? NO, that's no good. This evening needed to be absolutely perfect, fun, and...whatever exciting adjectives existed in the world!

Don't laugh, don't even grin, but the King had no idea what to do. Neither did the Prince, to be honest, but he couldn't really shift the blame on him this time around lest he wanted to revert back to the old King's ways. Color with him? Read him something, perhaps tell a story from his own life? Oh, he had no idea, why hadn't Odeko gone into further details with all of this?! The inexperience was practically reeking in the throne room at that moment, it couldn't have been hard for his genius nephew to spot it. Maybe he did notice and was simply too tired to care or bother to help. Mmm, how normal for him. What else did he say, what else...ooh, right, something about pictures? An album...no scrapbook! It was the same thing to the King, pictures in a book, yes? But at least he had something to go by - the Prince likes pictures, so he can take pictures with the Prince! Pfft, so easy, now he was a little embarrassed for not realizing this sooner. 

The Prince sat by a wall in the throne room, sitting all crissed and crossed with hints of applesauce, hands folded neatly across his lap. Maybe a little too neatly, who taught him that? "So, uh..." the King stopped admiring his fine curtains and went to sit by him, sliding down said wall until he hit the floor. The Prince shuffled a few inches to the right, and the King didn't want to think about whether it was to make room or because some traces of that fear still lingered. Not showing on the outside, no, but instead seeping out as little, subtle hints. "We heard that you have a scrapbook. Just as itty bitty, full of finger sized pictures. How come you never showed Us? We are quite the fan of pictures, yes, We live for them!"

"No you don't," the Prince glared at him, shutting down his claims, "I did show it to you, once...you said it was a waste of time, and I shouldn't slack off to take stupid pictures."

Such a monotonous voice, how robotic, as if he had memorized those words the very day he heard them. Did he always make those words stick like so? He certainly wouldn't believe so, who can remember everything somebody tells them every single day? The King could barely remember half of the second cousins...third cousins...were there fourths? Distant? Wowies, he can't even recall that. 

"Oh...yes, it appears that We did say that... We were totally joking with you, inchling Prince...We didn't think it would lower your picture-taking spirits. You still have that book now, yes? Let Us see it."

"You wouldn't like it."

"Nonsense! We believe that you're a great little photographer," all in all, he had no idea how great he was - for all he knew, the pictures would end up being nothing but blurred flashes of landscape and people, and then it really could be considered a waste of time. Not like he could say that, he promised he wouldn't be so mean in his criticism. Kids loved nice people, that's why his nieces and nephews showed their fathers in adoration and love. They weren't scared, why would they be? Nice, kind, that's what he needed to get into his mindset. "Run off and grab it, We'd like to take a look."

"You mean it?" how could he be so confused, the most flummoxed he's ever been? The King knew good and well that it wasn't that rare for him to want to do something with the Prince that didn't involve Katamaris. Ahem, the stories..and the flights...and did all those games of peek-a-boo he played with the Prince as a baby not count as quality time? The Queen wasn't involved in it, so it counts in his book. "How many times do We have to say it? Yes, Prince, We mean it, go grab it."

The King didn't really understand pictures anyways. Or so, the weird ones - he could understand wanting to capture the beauty of a loved one or a role model, but why grass? Or clouds, or sunsets, normal things that you can see literally every day? Was it worth dropping whatever important job you were doing? Dropping it like a weight, a useless weight, to look at some clouds...nope, the King didn't see the purpose for it at all. Although, clearly the Prince saw something in it if he was able to develop a whole ass hobby from it. When the Prince returned with said book, holding it up to the King with shaky hands, the King opened it up to be...remotely surprised. Perhaps a little amused. 

Sections, tons of them in the book, ranging from all sorts of different things. Foomin was throwing Ace in a puddle in one picture, and Ace was flexing his forever-imaginary muscles in another...just a bunch of cousins in general, a nice balance of those who weren't aware of the camera being aimed at them, or those who were, being sure to strike a fantabulous pose. Oh, and look! There's the Queen! Drinking tea, making desserts, or checking on flowers. And, gross, was that an ant? It looked remarkably gargantuan, but then again, this was from the angle of an itty bitty kid. At least the colors looked pretty, even for something as disgusting as an ant. Wildlife and stuff aside, the King noted that this was mostly a family-orientated scrapbook...and oddly enough, he found that to be adorable. Where did such an idea come from in the first place?

There was one flaw...just a little one, maybe he was just being nitpicky, but it scratched his brain in a very unpleasant way.

"Do you like it?" He almost forgot that his son was down there, nervously awaiting the type of feedback he would receive from the King.

"Hmm..yes. It's a very nice picture book,  creative Prince, not too shabby at all. But...We see that there's something missing from these array of photos. Nothing too big or anything, y'know. Doesn't feel very awesome, this book, does it? Don't worry, We've figured out the reason why as soon as We said the previous sentence. Where are We?"

"In the back...the very back, I'm sorry...I thought that you'd be unhappy if I tried to sneak pictures of you again, and I didn't think you'd ever want to see them."

Hurridly, the King skimmed the pages with a thumb until he reached the very back - ahh, much better, there's the awesomeness he was looking for. Were his robes always so eye-blindingly immaculate? Not a single wrinkle, not a stain to be found, not to mention the way it flawlessly flowed in the wind. Why in the world would the Prince want to hide something like this? Discouraging words or not, he out of all people should know that the King was a huge fan of pictures that showed only the best views of him.

"Well...there's room for improvement, as with all photographers," he closed it neatly, passing it back down to the Prince. Oh, he needed to smile as well, that would really make the point. All good fathers smiled, the Queen smiles all the time. "But We like it, Prince, honest. And...if you'd like to continue taking pictures while rolling, you can, okay? With all of that practice, you'll be the best little photographer in the cosmos."

He didn't believe that was a genuine comment either, the hesitant thanks the King received sounded more unsure than anything else. He went off after making sure the book wouldn't slip from his hands, stating that he wanted to show them to the Queen as well. The excitement, the smile, the King didn't get any of that when he offered to hang out with the Prince. He had been super duper nice to him all day, yes? Where are his smiles?

This wasn't the excellent, mind-blowing, and exciting evening the King had in mind...he thought of streamers, fireworks, forgiveness, and cakes. Lots of cakes.  Something happened, at least - he now found out that the Prince is a bit upset with him, and having that mix with fear? Probably not a good result. But y'know what, that's alright. He just....yes, he needs to try harder with his niceness, simply follow the Queen's parenting techniques! Easy, oh so easy!

Chapter Text

At long long last, the Queen has forgiven him.

She hasn't made him sleep on the couch, there hadn't been measly crumbs on his plates when dinner rolled around...and to top things off, the grand cherry of everything, she looks at him with nothing but happiness. No longer did she try to dismiss his kisses during the day or night, and she's no longer locking her love behind how many times he attempted to apologize to the Prince, his attempts to become a better parent. She's seen it, everything - she revealed this to him one night, right before they went to bed. The small(although awkward) talks at the table, the leniency that he's been practicing for when the Prince made a small mistake, and the praise he gives him for the tiniest tasks. A bit much from what she expected from him, and she wasn't so thrilled to find out about the Katamari agreement but it was still enough to make her happy. He's trying, even if it were baby steps. There was a spark in him after all, he was willing to change...she couldn't really find it within herself to hold too big of a grudge. She'd keep an eye on him, not having that much trust in him yet, though that didn't bother the King in the slightest. He'd take it, as long as the Queen wasn't relentlessly giving him cold looks? He was down with everything.

That little rough patch in his relationship was fixed, thank goodness for that. He was starting to get lonely, ick.

He wishes the Prince would like him again too.

According to Odeko, the Prince was still scared of him...though, ever since he had that small chat about parenting and whatnot, some of that fear had manifested into anger. The Prince thought that his entire reasoning for the terrible parenting was stupid, absolutely bogus. That's why he was so annoyed with him when he was pulled away from Marcy. Having time to think about everything the King has done prior to now, it was nothing but fuel to an angry fire. He could see it, everyone could - sometimes the Prince would casually bring up some not-so-kind quote the King said to him while eating, a glare to match. It got a laugh out of some cousins thanks to the delivery, and a glance of confusion out of others thanks to how...meanspirited they sounded. The Queen would often scold the Prince for being so unfriendly, threatening to send him to his room without dinner. The threats worked, the King assumed that it was a child's worse nightmare to be dessert-less...but it didn't ease any tension between the two. Not gonna lie, the King was a bigger fan of a scared Prince than an angry one...at least he wasn't so mean when he was scared.

But that shouldn't knock down his spirits any, yes? Even if the Prince was all bratty and ill-tempered, at least he was talking to him instead of shrieking at his presence. Besides, he can't do too much anyway - yeah, he can't be so rough with his punishments anymore, but that didn't cross out all punishments altogether did it? Ha, dare the Prince decides he wants to get mouthy again, the King would...ban him from playing with anyone for a day? Three? Having this much power was exhilarating yet exhausting. 

Oh, the cousins exist too. Let's see...Foomin was still mad at him, giving him the evil eye every moment he could, taking the Prince elsewhere whenever he was around. God, she's probably telling him things too, making the King seem ten times as evil than he really was. Macho was more disappointed than anything else, but he was starting to come around too once he noticed the changes that were happening. Odeko was just Odeko, cracking jokes, being a smartass, an annoyance overall. Some cousins feared him just like the Prince did - Marcy froze like a deer caught in headlights whenever he called her name, and Dipp did everything he could to be a kiss-up...almost enough to beat Ace, how sad. Other cousins were simply wary of him, either watching out over his actions for the Prince's safety, or their own.

Not a very nice reputation to hold in the cosmos, being a deity that everyone feared.

Foomin didn't really understand why most of the cousins were shocked by the Prince's shift in attitude. Getting treated like crap by your own father for years wasn't something to take with a positive attitude. And then, get this, she overheard the Prince telling Odeko that the reason he's so mean is all thanks to his grandfather. Ballet lessons, boxing matches, whatever. Like that was enough to excuse everything he's done to her cousin. Y'know, before hearing all of that, she was gonna be a bit forgiving and at least try to get along with him. But now, why should she? She's glad the Prince was finally angry, he had every right to be mad! 

'Aw, but Foomin, he's trying to change! Quit egging him on, you'll get the Prince in trouble!' Who gets in trouble for getting mad? Huh, she'd like to see him get punished for saying something awful when the King's been doing that...presumably ever since the Prince was little.

Alright, it wasn't totally her business, and encouraging the Prince to continue this rude streak of his wasn't very swell either...but, like, it bothers her. She doesn't know why it just...does. The King has been causing that dude's nightmares, he's the reason the Prince has been all paranoid and strange. And thinking about the things the King has done to him only made things worse...getting yelled at, punched, electrocuted and all, what kind of father is he? No, she doesn't care that he's making an effort to be nice to the Prince, nor does she care that he's apologized to him. Why did this happen? Because he hurt the Prince enough to the point where he knocked him out. What if the Prince stuck a perfect landing? Nothing would change, nothing, and the King would go right back to using the Prince as some punching bag. That was the King's breaking point, not all the times he's probably made the Prince cry or left him with dozens of scorch marks. Nope, it just wouldn't leave her mind, it's a huge bother. The Prince should be mad, and he finally breaks, but he gets chastised for it? Who's side was the Queen even on?

At least the Prince has her to rant to,  and she made sure that he knew it. Talking shit about someone together was actually pretty satisfying - she can't say anything too aggressive since that would let on that she knew, and he always made sure to give out just the right amount of information to not make himself sound off, but it's still nice. 

"Y'know what you should do?" she began one night,  laid out on his bed while he rested on the carpeted floors. "Write a letter. Like the ones you write Ace, where you make fun of him and stuff. Write one to your dad, all of the things that you can't say to his face, whatever he did! Oh, but like, don't give it to him, that'll be a death wish."

"Then what do I do with it?"

"Keep it, man, duh. Whenever you feel really pissed off at him, just read it and imagine you're saying it to his face, something like that. I think it helps."

And so, he did - she'd never seen someone write with so much aggression, such speed and passion! She's a huge fan of it, even lending a hand on giving some dirty adjectives...or all the adjectives she knew. In the end, they had probably the nastiest letter she's ever seen the Prince write...definitely something to keep to himself, showing that to the King would be a death wish. Forget stairs, he'd have bigger things to worry about. "This is sick, Princey," she grinned as she read over it, "The good kina sick, I mean. But yeah, don't show this to him unless you wanna get grounded for life. Nice poetry potential you got there."

"Thanks," he folded the letter once Foomin returned it with a smile, shoving it under the mattress - she prayed he'd take the time to find a better hiding spot later, was he trying to get himself killed? Oh, maybe the King didn't really check his stuff as often as he checked the cousins, always suspecting that they were the ones to steal a slice of cake or one of his millions of rings. The Prince caught on to those unspoken concerns, assuring her that a mattress would be the last place someone would check when looking through a room - he had so much to learn. With fingers as big as the King, why would he even bother? There's reasons, alright. Way too many reasons for her to even remember.

Macho, who she somehow formed a close friendship with during this whole ordeal, wasn't exactly too happy to hear about the letter. He doesn't like the King that much either, but he was willing to give him the atom of a chance if he kept up all this nice stuff. Personally, she saw it as an act - Katamari's had been the root of the problem, or to her knowledge, was the sole reason why the Prince got hurt. And the King practically lost everything. A bed, a nice portion of food, the Prince's affection, maybe even the Queen's.

The King had his fans still, who she guessed had no idea about what was happening in the cosmos, and he was so, soo desperate to hold onto the only people who didn't dislike him. Soon as the Prince got that cast off, he's ordered to roll a Katamari. That showed his motives alright, definitely didn't have much to do with the Prince's wellbeing. Weren't wrists supposed to hurt a little bit, even after the casts come off? Shame on him, using his son as a way to keep his fans. Weren't they doing a good enough job, because she certainly thinks so. 

Macho's cool and all, but he's so blind to the obvious. The King just wants to make amends to the Prince so he can get his food back, his bed, his fans, all the stuff he doesn't deserve. Maybe forgiveness was just a part of his kindhearted nature? Guess she can't argue with that.

At least some of her cousins understood her. Ace didn't like any of this, claiming that if the Prince rolls again, he'd never earn the Earthlings' respect. And Shy was mostly scared, as she was with everything, wondering when this nice act would break...or who would be next to fall down that flight of stairs. Odeko often rolls around to insert his unwanted opinions - so silly, they were being, having all these concerns and superstitions.  Is it really thinking too much into it when the King has been known to have the worse mood swings in mankind? Doesn't matter if he was the one who spoke to the King the most about everything, or if he was the one to inspire this fake nice act of his. It could switch off at any time, then what? Odeko would be satisfyingly humbled...so that's one positive that could come out of this. The only one, the bad outcomes outweighed the good.

The punishments, the scolding, everything reverting to how it once was. 

The only pang of joy she's gotten from all of this was seeing that the Prince himself, only being half her age, was smart enough to catch onto his father's motives. So yes, Prince, call him all the awful names you can think of, even if you can never say them in his face. Bring up those nasty old quotes, as many as you can remember! What could the King do while people were around? Would he dare harm the Prince while his dear wife was around? Nope, nada, won't even leave a single scratch. Encouraging this abrasiveness might end up biting the Prince later on, depending on what he says...but the King wouldn't dream of doing that so soon, right? Especially right after he assumed he has everyone's forgiveness. If this was making the Prince happy, if this was his small payback for all the stuff the King put him through? Foomin's all for it, 100%.

"You got a...nerd card, you lose a turn and you have to go back 5 spaces."

As always, Odeko could continue to count on his predictions. Should he even have doubted them in the first place? Never missing, right on the dot, and it was a quality of him he normally admires every second of his existence. Why, it was solid reasons why many of his cousins asked him questions, wanting a prediction before they can act out on something potentially stupid...even if some of those questions could've been answered with the power of using common sense. He'd been right about the Prince's terms for forgiveness - it was gonna take way more than a small sorry to make up for his accidental snitching, and an IOU written on paper wasn't gonna be enough either. The Prince knew what kind of advantages he had, Odeko could see the little smirks on the kid's face every time he asks for a favor...and what were those favors? Ah, y'know, only the most wayward problems or questions he could think of.

For a few days, it wasn't so bad. Piggyback rides, candy, and occasionally he'd ask for the tall cousin to play with him in some game. it was quite a hindrance when it came to Odeko wanting to continue on with his everyday amusements, not to mention tiring with how much energy a crumb of chocolate could give the Prince, but it was manageable. Sugar crashes were a thing, so at the very most Odeko would be forced to put up with the Prince's command for approximately 45 minutes. But then, out of nowhere, he started wanting more. More candy, no, cake too! The biggest cake the alien eye could find, that's what the Prince yearned for. And...the board games...the freaking board games.

Handwritten cards that were filled with curses and misfortunes, all adding up to make an unbalanced stack of adversity and fortune. Sometimes, just for giggles, the Prince would change up the rules halfway through the game, or even right as Odeko was moving a piece. Drawing extra squares when the card says so, making Odeko take walks of shame, the guilt-tripping the Prince would use every time he was called out by Odeko. The Queen knows about this, she walked in on them once, but did she do anything to help? Nooo, why would he ever raise his hopes so high? She thought it was cute, only seeing it as the two playing together, going on with her tasks without a second glance. Or, who knows, perhaps she did know what her son was doing, and telling him to knock it off would feel mean.

"Fourth time in a row, Prince," he mumbled dryly, complying with the card nevertheless. Being just one spot away from the starting line again was only starting to eat at his patience. Was what he did really that awful? So unforgivable that the only reasonable form of payment was to sit through this madness?

"Was that a complaint, Odeko?" His face was hidden, cast downwards as he shuffled through those damned cards for the eighth time in two minutes, but Odeko could almost hear the smile. "Because, well, I don't think I complained so much when you went and told everyone my secrets."

"Really?!"

"A grudge, that's all. I only brought it up that day...wait, you brought it up."

"I said I was sorry!"

"But I never said I forgave you, so here we are," The Prince shrugged with a poorly softened snigger, placing the cards down to roll the die. "Just think of it as debt."

"How come you aren't cross with Foomin? She told everyone!" This was unfair, unbelievable, outrageous if he's ever seen it! Foomin did what she did for good purposes, sure, but she also went and told the cousins willingly. Of course, the worst-case scenarios had to have gone through her mind at least once during the entire council. If someone had used that information against the Prince and managed to make their situation worse? Well, he certainly wouldn't force her to play rigged games after a good few weeks of hatred. She deserved to go through this torture too, maybe even more.

" Foomin's not mean."

"And I am? All the times I helped you out with your homeschooling assignments, or wrapping your bandages, was that mean? I doubt Foomin could do any of that."

"Foomin didn't threaten to cut my arm off with scissors, so there."

"...I was joking."

"Well, you aren't funny. Foomin is though," a brisk read of a card and moving a piece later, he's almost at the finish. Again. At least the first time felt believable, and the second...even the third, but he was absolutely trying to get a rise out of him. "Your turn again, don't screw it up."

With a grumble, Odeko hurriedly grabbed a die and rolled it, grabbing a card from the stack just as fast. Much to his oh-so-pleasant surprise, it was a jail card, thus making him lose three turns. "How much longer?"

" 'til what?"

"You know good and well what I mean."

"Nooo, haven't got the slightest clue," please, he absolutely knows what he's doing at this point - the sing-song tone, the grinning, folding his hands like he was some kind of villain. Children were so evil, Odeko never understood how most people could be so patient with them. Were they all subjected to these punishments once upon a time? Being forced to sit in their child's room to play a game they could never win, with the child being well aware that the chances of success were below zero. The Queen herself probably went through this, if he wanted to start reaching for thoughts here, and that's why she didn't think anything of it when walking past...understandably, she didn't want to get wrapped up into it a second time. "Cool, I won! You owe me a soda."

"My good Prince, seriously, haven't I been through enough? How much longer do I have to go through this?"

"Until I forgive you, duh. And that could take...well...three more days? NO, weeks...months...when's your birthday?"

"Janurary."

"Alright, so three years after that, then I might consider forgiving you."

"This is THE MOST-"

"Oop, are you complaining again?"

"Sorry if it doesn't feel like I'm showing the best sportsmanship around right now," if he could roll his eyes, he would, biting down anything that felt like anger. He couldn't snap at anyone, really, it would completely break the cool, chill, and just a little intelligent image he had going for him. And he most definitely couldn't snap at the Prince, looking past how uncharacteristically bratty he was being - weeks later, he still felt bad for everything that's happened to him, knowing the type of relationship he had with his egotistical father. "But it's hard to fathom how anybody can be joyous when they're a playtester for the next dungeon torture method."

"Four years."

"Please, I'm getting blisters from the die!"

"Then get better at rolling it, genius."

"You have an extraordinarily generous amount of sass to be five."

"Six!"

"Sure don't act like one."

He had him there, Odeko thought with a grin as the Prince shot him daggers of annoyance. Satisfaction, at last, seeing him snatch the cards out of Odeko's reach and into some random bag. Quite humorous too, but he often found it funny getting under any cousin's skin. Everybody needs a side hobby, alright? That just so happened to be his... besides the trillions of other things he just so happened to be talented at.

"Fine, I was gonna give you three and a half, but since you wanna be sooo mean, you're getting five."

"Oh, like your age! I see, very clever of you."

"Go away." It didn't take long to reach a breaking point, not like Odeko expected it to be much of a challenge. Was it part of some master plan of his? No, not at all, but he sure as hell felt a wave of relief when the Prince shoved an angry finger towards the open bedroom door. Opportunity knocks, he'd be stupid not to take it, right?

"Deepest apologies if I've offended you in some way, your majesty," he bowed after standing up, wincing from the slight ache in his knees from sitting on them for such a long time."I was merely playing around, no hard feelings."

"Go away!" he swatted away the hand Odeko tried to place on his back, acting like it was the nastiest fly he's ever seen, pointing to the door again with more aggression. "Leave, go, bye."

"But-"

"Bye!"

So, um, from totally unintentional actions, he might've dug himself a deeper hole of depts. Whoops!

Chapter Text

The Prince sat in his elegant chair, picking and attacking his food with anger-filled stabs, not once bringing his gaze up to meet whoever spoke to him. The King could see it no matter how far away he was, and instead of being the teensiest bit of concern, he could only be vexed. This was, what the fourth day of this?

 Four days of the Prince ignoring him, four days of his son seemingly doing everything in his tiny power to make himself unpleasant to be around. All the quips and the scoffs, the random bouts of aggression and the attitude, it was like as if Marcy and Odeko had combined their personality into one…and, mind you, just dealing with one of them was enough to drain a person for an entire day. How could Dipp deal with having her as one of her best friends, or even sharing a planet with her? The cosmic giant was going to assign him with Peso at first, really, but then he stopped to consider that nobody wanted to hear them partying it up at three in the morning. At least all of that fashion stuff was quiet, that never interrupted his much-needed beauty sleep. An ugly King is a solemn king, everybody knows that!

Oops, wait, lost his train of thought.

The Prince, yes. Whatever kind of phase the young royal was going through, it was no longer confusing nor amusing to the King. 

A fixing, a talking too, a few minutes in a corner, whatever…all he knew was that he wanted this era to end, and he wanted it to end quickly. Now, the Queen does get onto him sometimes, forcing him to mumble half-hearted apologies and such, but did the Prince ever take those scoldings to heart? Did he dare go against the words of his sweet, caring mother?

 Why yes, the King quickly learned, a thousand times yes. He proceeded to go against those words the very next moment he could. No amount of warnings or quick reminders was enough to stop his wrath. Why? Just why? The King had done every single thing he was supposed to do, did he not? He apologized, check. He’s realized where he went wrong in his parenting and has made countless efforts to better himself, check. He stopped being mean to the Prince, even bothering to spend time with him looking at those silly photos! 

All of that was on his checklist, and he’s been doing extraordinarily, absolutely amazing at doing all of those things! And so, in turn, that had to mean that he was a good father…like all the other guys, yes? Then what was he doing wrong? His brothers and sisters were nice to their kids, showering them with gifts and love, and they get all the hugs and kisses they could ask for! The King does the same thing, and what does he get in return? A grouchy, pouty son. Sooo not the reward he was looking for…perhaps he needed to look into those strange, earthling parenting books as well?

“Prince, don’t eat with your elbows on the table,” he heard the Queen admonish from his right - curiously, he took a peek away from his magazine to look at the boy, seeing if he listened or not. And guess freaking what? He did, taking those arms right off the table as soon as he heard it, uttering a much more genuine apology to the damn table before continuing to pick at his food. Oh, so that’s how it is. Poor table, this unsentient object, this thing clearly mattered more to the Prince than respecting his own damn father. Fine, he could be that way, see if he cared! 

“We don’t see why he should feel obligated to say sorry to the table,”  he spoke with a mouth half-full of eggs, all of those tiny little eyes landing on him. “Having sharp little elbows pressing on you can’t feel too nice, but, who knows, maybe it deserved it? People who deserve apologies should be those who have been the kindest of kind, yes? Specifically a kind authoritative figure?”

“Dear, he's a child,” the Queen hurriedly whispered to him, in which the King had to hold back a chuckle of disbelief. Right, like that could be a sole excuse? If he just let things go on the way they were, supposedly letting this phase ride its course, who knows how long he’d have to put up with it! Weeks or months, years or decades, the normally patient King did NOT want to wait this out.

“Actually, the table does deserve an apology,” the Prince replied with a sardonic tone, the cousins' chatter coming to a screeching halt to pay attention to the brewing argument. “The table’s pretty nice to me, holds my food all day long without a single complaint.”

“The table doesn’t get that food for you, though, does it? No, your mother does.”

“Then if I ever did anything wrong to Mama, I’d apologize to her, but I didn’t . The table’s hurt, so I must apologize.”

“The table doesn’t give you gifts.”

“The table doesn’t call me a failure every single day.”

Someone ooh’ed, others awed, and most tried to discreetly urge the Prince to stop before he could get himself into deep trouble. Admittedly, even the King himself was slightly taken aback from how sudden it was, never had the Prince been that straightforwards. Right before the Queen could get onto him for the umpteenth time this week, the King held up a hand to silence her. “No, no no, We’ll deal with this. Yes, Prince, the table might’ve been kind in that regard, but at least the person who did call you that came to their senses afterward, right?”

“Only when it got bad enough.”

“Explain.”

“Well for starters, the table didn’t tie me up with a string and punch me.”

“The table didn’t give you ice either.”

“The table doesn’t strike me with lightning!”

“The table didn’t apoligize to you later, forgetful Princeling.”

“At least if it did, it would actually mean it!”

“Oh please, like you’ve always been one hundred percent sincere with your apologies?”

“More sincere than you’ll ever be.”

Somebody choked on their water, yet the King could not be bothered to care.

“We are sincere, Prince. Have We done anything to harm you since then? Any lightning scars or bruises? Because honestly, We don’t think We have. Mmm, nope nothing but nice.”

“You’re only being nice ‘cause you want me to roll your stupid Katamaris, all you care about are your fans!” the boy pointed out angrily after committing fork abuse, slamming it to the table he just apologized to. Ha, take that table. The King held up a royal hand once more when the Queen looked like she was going to speak.

“Oh, so that’s the problem? That’s what’s leaving you in such a sour mood? If We care so much about them, why do We give gifts from them to you? Not Paula or that weird elf abomination that claims to be Our nephew, you. Ooh, and Our hand-me-downs, how many of those have We given to your ungrateful behind? Has this useless table ever given you all the royal pleasantries you could ever ask for?”

“The table would be a good enough father to realize that just because you give someone a bunch of gifts, doesn’t mean they’ll think you're a great person the very next day. And the table wouldn’t punch their kid, or yell at them, or call them a disappointment or a failure, o-or leave them out in the rain, or act like they don’t love them just because they can’t roll a silly ball of trash right-”

“Prince, go to your room,” if the ranting didn’t stop, somebody was gonna get hurt…physically or emotionally, take a guess. “You don’t raise your voice at adults, you know that.”

And of course, as the now grudge-holding King expected, the Prince didn’t have not one itch to spout words of disrespect to her. He was a bit confused, sure, a bit hurt too, but resorted to sucking it up and doing what she asked instead of starting an argument with her. After watching him storm away from the table and out the kitchen, the Queen gave the King a not-so-happy look. And for what, defending himself? "What? He was totally out of line, yes?"

"You did all of that?"

"We, uh, We used to! Lightyears ago, and We apologized for it the day We talked to him about it! And he gets mad at Us for that?"

"Sire, if I may specify something-"

"Refrain from telling Us whatever nerd thing you're going to say, Odeko, We aren't in the mood."

"My bad."

"We'll discuss this later," Everyone was still around, they forgot quickly with all the hubbub, so the two would have to put this chat on hold until they were alone. Nodding in agreement at the Queen's statement, the King went to address the still captivated crowd. 

"Does anyone else have something they would like to say?"

Like a scrawny pool noodle, Marny raised his hand."Y-your majesty...can we, erm...throw a slumber party tonight? I'm asking for someone."

"And that someone is?"

Terrified to know what would happen if he didn't answer the question, the tennis ball-shaped cousin shot a finger at Dipp. Dipp pointed to Shy, Shy pointed to Jungle, then his finger quickly went to Ace. He said this, no, she said it, they said it, so many zigs and zags that it was getting hard to keep up with who was getting the blame shifted on them. And then, much to his sore eye's relief, the line stopped at Marcy...would've been a lot easier if she had spoken up in the first place. Eyebrows raised in a DreamWorks fashion(minus the smirk), he interrogated the nervous cousin. "Right, the rainbow one. And just why exactly would We let you do that?"

"For...Princey? We still feel bad about the sta-I, uh, like, his ankle and stuff."

"His wrist, she meant!"

"Oh, yeah, that! A-and We think it would really cheer him up if we threw him one, ya know? Just a thought."

The timing just couldn't be any more perfect.

Sleepovers were sooo energy-draining, that's what he's inferred from the things he's seen and read...and his father didn't even consider letting him go to one, his training came before anything else. Besides, other than his fit from this morning, why would the Prince want to go to one of those things in the first place?

Eating all the sweets to your hearts contents, staying up until the break of dawn(why are they even called sleepovers? Not even he could figure that out.), and heaven forbids having enough trust in everyone in the room to tell awful secrets to...excluding the last one, all of those things sounded like it was more fits for adults than little children. Why should they get so much candy when all it does is turn them into frenzied ninjas? And he couldn't imagine the things they'd do in the middle of the night, probably sneaking around each and every hallway to mess with things that they shouldn't. No, the Prince probably wouldn't like it, he's always been a calm green thing.

"The Prince doesn't need it, not after today, We believe," he gave his final answer, not missing the drooping faces of his nieces and nephews. "Besides,it wouldn't be beneficial for him. We don't like grouches, and We particularly don't like grouchy sons who hasn't had enough sleep."

"You may," The Queen opposed with elegance, as if she wasn't the one to send the Prince to his room minutes ago."I'll get onto him about what he did later, but he can go."

"But...he totally disrespected Us! You can't just reward that by throwing him a party!"

"You're not exactly innocent either," the Queen shot down his retorts before he could even fully explain them, pointing towards the cousins. "it takes two people to have an argument. They want to do something sweet for their cousin to cheer him up, and who knows how much he needs that."

"Our sire would probably know more than anyone else."

Odeko was going on his bad list tonight, the King would be sure to remember this in the future. Annoying long-headed nerds aside, the King was well aware that unless he wanted to end up on that repugnant, rock-hard couch for a month or two, he'd better not speak a single word against her decision. Reluctantly appeasing the pleading crowd, he sighed. "On second thought, We suppose a late night of fun could be what he needs to get him out of prick phase. Yes, very necessary, such a good idea, Marcy. We'll allow it as long as everyone here agrees that they will NOT use the sink as a swimming pool again when unattended."

Yes, they've tried it. Twice. And who knows, they might've tried to do it a third time. All of those attempts either ended up with Opeo nearly drowning, cousins getting injured because the Price and Lucha kept throwing unsuspecting victims in, or water getting splashed on even the most questionable places. How they managed to get it on the ceiling will be a mystery for years. Nobody was thrilled to find out about their new lack of sink privileges, but brought themselves to agree with choruses of 'yes sir, yes sire.' With the plentiful amount of mature cousins that roamed around here, he certainly hoped that the poor sink would be spared this time around.

That seemed to make them happy with him for once, even if it was just for a brief moment. But oh, boo hoo, now the Prince is going through something, and he's probably at risk of leaving the bedroom judging by how unhappy the Queen was. So much for trying to change, guess it was a lot harder than he thought it would be.

Who’s the better parent? The favorite, the fair one, the safe space where anyone could be vulnerable?

The Queen had never really put such a question into consideration before - from everything that she’s seen and heard, the small Prince appreciated and adored both of his parents equally, even if one of them couldn’t exactly help him out in certain professions (man talk or sports, or tea time and feelings stuff.) As she saw it, the Prince went to her if he was bored or felt lonely, or for comfort, as all children did. And the King, even with his supposedly full 24/7 schedule, had been his role model, and was basically who the Prince wanted to be when he grew in inches instead of centimeters. Talks about morals and girls, toughing him up and such, that’s what the boy goes to him for.  

Like, she knew that said methods of doing so were a bit extreme, to say the least - she just about questioned if he had lost his mind when he announced that the Prince should be ready to live on his own planet at such a young age before he also clarified that he would still be close to the castle. The criticism, always so rugged, she knew of that too…but she never thought that he would be so degrading, speaking to the Prince like he was the Empire of All Cosmos. Nope, terribly clueless, blind as a bat about the speeches, and the lightning, the punching, all of it.

She’s his mother, the one person he could cry to about anything that was bothering him, and that’s what he always does no matter how small the matter was. So did the King ever threaten him if he spoke about those treatments? Or was it just the constant pattern of his father's “tough love” that instilled such a fear into him? Whatever it was, it was in no shape or form the Prince’s fault…and conceivably her own fault instead. How hard would it have been to just step him aside and ask? Or to just check for any bruises or lightning scars, or think back to see if he ever had any strangely timed colds?

A good parent, yeah, only when it came to the bare necessities for childcare and treating him like any parent was supposed to…but that’s it.  Sending him to his room for seemingly nothing wasn’t a good argument to go against this either, no surprise that she felt so awful. And so, she didn’t have a single problem with the cousins' ideas for the night, it was the least she could do.

He was right where she expected, sitting in a corner while drawing. Sounds like that would mean that he wasn’t so heavily affected by what happened, but then she saw him raise a fist to his eye and that shattered her beliefs completely. Noticing her, the first priority on his mind was to ask for forgiveness. “I’m sorry for yelling,” he said half-heartedly, though she wouldn’t be so forthcoming if it was an apology to the King either. “I promise I won’t do it again.”

“Don’t be sorry, love, you’re not in trouble,” Kinda sorta, the way he’s spoken about his father’s intentions didn’t sit right after witnessing all of the changes he's been trying to make…but eh, that’s probably as true as the other things. After being so hush-hush about the punishments with the fear of his father lashing out at him, the Queen believed there was no reason why the Prince would lie about everything.  “But your father isn’t the type of man who likes to be yelled at, that goes for anyone.”

“ He gets to yell at anyone he wants,” he muttered with a few angry scribbles of a crayon. “He always yells at me, and nobody cares, but when I do it, it’s bad.”

“It's not that nobody cared...nobody knew, that's all," Or maybe some people did know since the very beginning, cousins and animals alike.  Not like she had any expectations for a rat or a dog to do anything about it,  they were probably just as scared as the Prince was…though if the cousins really were aware, it would be a bit upsetting that they never thought to help, or even alert her.  "I promise you, sweetheart, if you told me about the things he did way before any of this had happened, I would’ve put an end to it before things could escalate. Did he ever say he would harm you if you told anyone? "

"I mean, sometimes, only if I really messed something up. But then other times he just wants me to keep quiet so you won’t be mad at him. Not that it would’ve mattered if I said anything or not,  he’s still gonna do the things he does no matter what.”

Well was he wrong? She was just starting to have some hope in her debonair hunk of a husband…aye, he was being the great father that he always wanted to be. The good father that years ago, would only slimmer through after astronomical achievements or ego-building praise.  The gifts, the compassion, he hasn’t said a single rude thing to the boy ever since he spent those few, back-breaking nights on the couch. With how fast such a happy mood switched when the Prince gave his sorrows to a table of all things, the young royal was likely not too far away from certitude. All of this could be an act, after all, only wanting the forgiveness of his dear family so he could earn back the things he craved oh so dearly. The adoration and honor from fans, his nice warm bed, a heaping amount of food on his plate for all three or four meals…a very Kingly thing to do, especially when it came to the King everybody knew and loved. 

The Prince shouldn’t have that implemented in his head at such early age, there has to be at least two of them who could see the good in most people, family included. Wasn’t he already like that before all this mess started? Some believe that it was the sole reason why he hasn’t acted on his impulsive thoughts and smacked the lights out of Ace. How exactly would one go about this when talking about the King…as smart as a lot of people claimed she was, even she was clueless. She carefully let him up onto her hand, and with a few soft pats on the head from her pinkie, she struggled to think of a defense.

“He really is trying, love…he genuinely wants to make things right for your sake, not the fans. He loves you just as much as I do, okay?.”

She’d have to go bigger than the couch of doom…the couch of torture, perhaps? Or a full day without his chin care supplies, now that can wither down his spirits faster than someone could blink. The Prince didn’t sound very convinced - it hurt, not a good feeling at all, when normally he’d take in her words without even thinking twice. 

"I don't think he does," the Prince spoke after some thinking and reflecting, sounding so chill with his answer that it was almost worrying. What kind of godforsaken things was the King saying to him for these thoughts to be a consistent thing? "But it's fine. I don't think I like him very much either."

Not wanting to offend her in case she took that the wrong way by filling in the dots, he quickly flashed a smile at her. "But I'm not mad at you or anything. I still love you lots, Mama, always."

"That's sweet of you, Princey, I love you a lot too...and truthfully, your father does too. He doesn’t know how to show it very well, but if he wants to sleep in a bed every night, he’ll work on that as soon as he can. Today was just one of his bad days, I’ll be sure he doesn’t speak out of line anymore," she didn't speak on the other aspects of his words, the not liking him bit, knowing that those feelings likely wouldn't change unless the King blew his mind with normal childrearing.

“Thank you, Mama,” he only gave two pats as a return for her ‘hug’ instead of the normal three, sounding just as dejected and upset as he did when she first walked in…if not more. A smile was as transparent as air when she kissed his forehead, yet he felt the need to say his sorrows once more for good measure. “I’m truly sorry, for everything, I’ll try give him the benefit of the doubt next time.”

He wanted to be left alone after their chat - no longer wanting to play with his cousins or roll up any more stars, just him and his thoughts and some crayons that he could vent to. Figuring there weren’t too many bad things he could get into on his own, wasn’t like he would try anything, she respectfully left him to himself.

After getting the okay from the higher-ups, the nieces and nephews all scurried off to the space mushroom to go over everything they needed to. Who would do this, or who would do that? Generally, they would all assign tasks to themselves, the small bout of independence felt nice and not embarrassingly hand-holding, but then they would end up forgetting what they had to do ten minutes later, or they would accidentally end up doing someone else's job.

Minutes and minutes of debate later, they all decided that Velvet would be the one to assign things, being as she was the fairest out of the bunch and was the best at ignoring even the loudest of whines. And if, by any circumstances, a cousin were to get bonked on the head and suffer from a severe case of amnesia as a result…or in Huey’s case, get distracted by more interesting things, then Odeko would be there to remind them, a checklist with names and tasks and all sorts of neat little things.

 Some were hesitant to put such trust in their 40ft tall cousin - what if he decides that a certain cousin has been getting on his nerves one time too many, and switches their name to do a task he knew they would fail at? The humiliation, the agony, the others wouldn’t let that go for years! That gave Velvet two jobs, although she begrudgingly took the new one, it felt more than unnecessary to her. Assign stuff and make sure Odeko doesn’t try anything sneaky. Said cousin was very offended at how deceitful his cousins deemed him to be. Was this his new title now? A cousin who couldn't hold water to save his life? He'd done it time and time again prior to this, fine, but nobody ever made it his full-on characteristics. Who wants to be known as a snitch, that's Ace's thing!

Jesus christ how many times did i type the word cousins

Saying that assigning jobs was a piece of cake would be far from the truth - so many faces that looked exactly alike, running around and talking over each other, it took more than three tries to get everyone all organized. From mistaking Slip and Odeon as the Prince himself, losing Pu a concerning amount of times, or losing the list over and over thanks to the number of people passing it around, it took a total half-hour to set things straight. No confusion, no questions, just an entire mob waiting for their next word of order.

"Wait, wait," Ace interjected the silence, much to Odeko's annoyance. "So I'm sneaking in the junk food and all, but exactly how much of this food goes to me?"

"Ughh...who knows, Ace? A quarter, half, a few crumbs, you'll know when it happens."

"A crumb?!"

"Sounds pretty good to me, "Nik found it to be incredibly ungrateful of Ace, heists like this only happened a few days out of the year.

"Well of course it does to you, Nik! There's no way I'm paying for food I probably won't even get to eat! Can I switch with Dipp? He has the easiest one."

"Duh, what makes you think I'll give it to you?"

"We're family!"

"Switch with Pu, her's is easier than mine."

"I'm not switching with a baby!"

"That's a baby??"

"Never heard her talk before."

"Fine, Ace, if you can infiltrate the base and sneak in the goods successfully, you can have...hmm...how does first dibs on everything sound?" They would often slip into discord on whether or not Pu was an actual baby. One day, she would be seen as a spy from some other planet, taking the clever disguise of a baby to collect data without dragging any attention. Or she was actually ten times older and liked the attention. They got grating quick, and there was too much to take care of for the topic to devolve into this right now.

Also, Odeko really didn't care for any of it.

"Oh. Yeah, that's fine, never mind Dipp."

"Thank you, finally! Now, as as was saying before I was oh-so-RUDELY interrupted, somebody has to go get our down in the dumps cousin later on so we can set up."

"Is this a birthday party or a slumber one?"

"Probably both."

"Him being aware of everything the entire day won't make the real thing a suprise, will it? I think not, simple-minded Columbo. If you would all be considerate enough to lengthen your barely existing attention spans to go over this method I  accumulated inside my mind in thirty seconds..." A chalkboard arrived with Odeko's pure willpower, and he flipped it like a globe. Is the board too blank? Don't gotta worry about that anymore, now there's scribbles and smudges galore.

"This, my fellow cousins, is a castle. The Prince sometimes lives here. As far as I know, he's still here, but we wanna keep him away from there until evening. Preferably night, but can't raise those expectations too high, right? His favorites have the easiest job, do what you guys normally do until the clock hits six or seven. Foomin is one of the best liars I know, so I don't have any doubts that she won't be able to get the Prince back to the castle!"

"Thanks...I think. I'm clearly his number one favorite, but who're the others?"

"Marcy,I wanna say Dipp, June...Lucha, maybe Ace, and Macho? But Ace is gonna be pretty busy, along with Macho and Lucha. Guess it's just you three."

"We can't take June, she sucks at keeping surprises."

"I do not!"

"Fine, take Shy, she's quiet."

"He doesn't like me..."

"Nah, don't be such a downer, he likes all of us! Just some more than others, me the most of all....you'll be fine," Foomin comforted the girl with a pat on the shoulder, and was hopefully a bit persuasive. Social issues or not, she was their safest bet if they didn't want their efforts to be a waste of time. Not to sound like she wanted to agree that Odeko was right, it would only add fuel to his neverending vainness, but it would be soooo lame if they just let the Prince know what they were doing right off the bat. He'd be happy about it, just for an hour, and then go right back to moping the entire day until the party. And who was to say he wouldn't be moping then either? The excitement should be saved until the end of the day, after all the moping. Much more impactful, that's certainly something she would want.

"Oh, alright...if it's for the greater good..."

"That's the spirit, thanks Shy!"

"If all of you went off at once, it would give everything away," Odeko carried on after the switch was confirmed, "So as of now...pick straws, flip a coin, fight to the death, figure something out. Then, later on, all of you should coincidentally meet up at the same place and time, then continue with your daily fun lives."

"I'm going first, Marce always plays with him. And ever since he fell he's always been hanging out with Foomin instead of me!" Dipp complained, stepping forwards before anyone else could.

"Ever stop to consider that it's because I'm funnier?"

"Yeah, for reasons we'd better not get into."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Please, please, what's a fight if there's no popcorn to enjoy it? if the final two is Dipp and Foomin, just choose any of the following tie breakers I listed before. Perhaps a game of rock paper scissors?" Odeko ended the squabble - he preferred fights to be on days when he wasn't busy.

 "With what fingers, bro? Nevermind, it's not worth arguing over. Let the little disco ball go, I'll help Ace with his sneaking stuff."

Good. Nice. Now everything was settled.

Chapter Text

Sometimes, only sometimes, Dipp wished that he had never agreed with Foomin and Marcy to go eavesdrop on that wretched conversation. Bad, very wrong of him, prying in the privacy of people who had never ever wronged him in his life. Nik gets annoying with how frequently he tries to take everyone's snacks to sustain his never pleased appetite, but he was still a nice guy all-around. Velvet was like...uh, a grown-up most of the time. Boring. Eck. But he likes her too, she always solves spats between him and Marcy in under a minute. 

Odeko was Odeko.

Oh, and Macho was super cool and strong, maybe even stronger than Lucha when it came to muscles. The worst he's ever done to Dipp was freaking him out with a fake spider...but that had to be at least five months ago. That wasn't really enough to justify going along with what Foomin wanted, was it? No. Not even close, and he knew it wasn't, but...he wanted to know what was wrong with the Prince, and Foomin was carrying herself as if she was confident that eavesdropping would be their answer to that question.

At least she was right.

He felt bad. Maybe he didn't look it all too well, standing at that door with whoever else was with him, but he did. The King was scary, uncle or not, and he knew that he was terribly strict whenever it came to the Prince and his Katamaris. Not too small, not too blah, not too poor - no, ew, it was to be colorful and huge and eccentric! Those rules went for any cousin who wanted to roll one, but at least if they messed up, he would simply berate them until they felt like shriveling up in a hole of embarrassment. He'd been silly enough to think that the Prince goes through that too, never would he expected that being blasted down the stairs was his punishment. And then, from that day forwards, he started thinking about things that would only leave him staring at his ceiling in the deepest bits of the night. How many times did the Prince fall down those things anyways? Or how long was he subjected to all of that other stuff?

If it was just when it came to Katamaris, it couldn't be too often, right? Just...

Almost every day of the year. Twice a day, maybe more...

Not to sound mean or anything, but yes, Dipp was mad for those first few hours upon going home that day - at himself and the Prince. How dumb could he be not to notice that, oh, just maybe the Prince could be getting hit by his dad? Were those abnormal silences not enough? Or the abundance of times he would ask to be left alone even when getting an offer to do something fun? Or those weird limp he'd initially mistook as the Prince playing around, or the random scars of the week, literally anything that held even the slightest resemblance of a red flag. They're best friends, he'd like to think, so how could it be so hard to notice any of it? And...how come the Prince never told him himself? No, he wasn't too insensitive, being bold about saying anything about it couldn't be too easy. The King himself might've played a part in why he was so persistent on keeping things to himself, that's something Dipp had to consider as well.

They tell each other everything, though. Who broke that vase, who suck out where, secrets that they swore would never be leaked, everything. Perhaps the hitting stuff was a bit more hardcore than the secrets the Prince normally told him, but really? Dipp would've told him if he was going through something like that, for he deemed the Prince as one of the most trustworthy people ever. Guess he didn't feel the same.

Trust and secrets aside, Dipp figured that someone being mad at him was the last thing his cousin needed right now, so eventually he made himself get over it. Even if it was thanks to less than willing circumstances, at least he knew what was wrong. And he was working with his cousins to try and fix everything too, and the Prince looks a bit happier than he did that week so it's a win-win for everybody! Though truthfully, he was glad that for once it would be him that would make the Prince happy again this time, not the self-acclaimed favorite, Foomin. Just them, for an hour, finally. 

The Prince was thrilled when he came to the Princedom, claiming that he missed playing with him just as much as Dipp did, pulling him inside one of the cake-like houses to show off one of the gifts he found laying around.  "I'm not really supposed to be happy about it, trying to hold a grudge against him and all, but i found one of the crowns my dad gave me. You can wear it for a while if you want to."

"What did he do?" he asked with faux curiosity as he took the miniature crown - Foomin didn't want anyone to let on that they knew, which wasn't as fun as Dipp once thought it would be. Princey kept secrets too, but he highly believed that he did so for good reasons. What was their reason again? Unless he missed a memo or something, Dipp was certain there was nothing at stake. Did he just forget? "I've never seen you talk to him like that before...it was kinda satisfying."

"Don't tell anyone else, but it's everything. He’s always been so grouchy and rude and hard to please, he's been such a prick for years, and I’m sick of it. I’m tired of everything being my fault.”

“I’m sorry, Princey,” for more reasons than one, mind you - he sat next to his royal cousin against one of the bean chairs(those little fresheners they put in purses to make them smell nice y'know) as he patted his knee. “If it makes you feel any better, he’s at fault for wayyy more things than you’ll ever be. You’re not mean and dumb like he is.”

“I know he’s at fault for a lot of things too,” the royal acknowledged with irritation, fiddling with the sunglasses in his hands. “ ‘Oh, it’s not Our fault the cosmic belly is so flabby, it’s your fault for being so lazy!’ Lazy, yeah, like I’m the one who can make Katamaris appear out of thin air by myself. He gets to do all sorts of awful stuff, stuff that lots of dads aren’t supposed to do, and no matter what, somehow I’ll deserve it. Maybe occasionally I do, but why should I get punched just because I was one centimeter short from some stupid Katamari he wanted?”

No, Dipp came to an answer after taking a moment to ponder it over. Definitely wasn’t the most fatherly thing he’s ever heard of, his dad never hit him or yelled at him, whatever the Prince was describing. He was a King, so technically what he does is the right thing…something like that, he heard it from Colombo some time ago. Nobody can go against him, nobody can truly voice their distaste in a vulgar manner...excluding Foomin and the Queen. But even then, Foomin had to be holding back with her words if she made it out alive, and as for his aunt...speaking up seemed to work, huzzah. Only, well, she sure decided to say something about it a little too late, didn't she?

“I wish I had your dad, instead, Dipp…or someone like him. He’s nice.”

“We could swap places for a while if you’d like.”

“No, then he’d just be mean to you instead. Nobody needs to experience that.”

“I’d tough it out. Dodge those lasers or something.”

“And then what, trip down the stairs?”

The crown he was gazing at nearly slipped from Dipp’s hand, the sentence catching him completely off guard. “Oh geez , uh, no? I didn’t mean lasers, Princey, I meant…lightning! Yeah, that, I get the two mixed up sometimes.”

“It’s alright, Dipp, I know that everyone knows,” he admitted to the sparkling cousin with a flick of the wrist, as if it was all old, casual news. News that they all spent stress-filled effort to keep hidden. “Odeko told me about it when I had a meeting with my dad one day. And I know that my dad knows that you guys know too.”

“I’m really really sorry, Princey! It was all Foomin’s idea, you see? Yeah, sh-she was the one who was all like, ‘let’s go eavesdrop on ‘em and see what’s up,’ oooh, but I tried to stop her! But she was too strong, a-and she overheard some things she was never supposed to hear, and she was the one who decided to call a council to tell all of our cousins what happened!”

“Yeah, I know, he told me that too.”

“And she was the one who -oop. For real?” Well, that was unexpected, normally people would be way beyond hurt about something like this. “So…you’re cool with it?”

“I’m alright, I get it,” the Prince shrugged as Dipp gave a bright smile, thrilled that he was nowhere near making his friend as upset as he thought he would. “I can’t be scared of him forever, and if she hadn’t done what she did, it would’ve taken me ages to get this far. And really, I’m thankful for anyone who was a part of this…Odeko too, I guess. Though I wish you would’ve said something about it sooner, I don’t get why that would be such an awful thing to spill.”

“I dunno, ask Odeko.”

 "Whatever he said, he was wrong, as always. For a self-acclaimed genius, he sure has a lot of stupid thoughts.”

They both laughed at the comment like it was the hottest joke of the century, a knee-slapper, dare I even say it, a gutbuster. Not too loud, no no no, there was always a bit of nerve that nestled on the edge of their minds whenever it came to joking about their cousins...more particularly the ones who couldn't take a joke. Aw, why did that matter? Dipp knew it wasn't anything harmful just to laugh, and surely the Prince didn't mean anything of it. For once in the entire month, he didn't look like he was faking his smiles, so Odeko would just have to suck it up.

"So, the actual reason you're mad at him..."

"No, I was being honest then. The stairs thing just adds onto it, that's all."

"Are you okay?"

 "No, not really. He already stresses me out every day of my life, but ever since he went that far it’s all, pshhewww. Mad at him for everything he’s done to me ever since I learned how to talk, but also scared to be mad at him ‘cause if I say something too bad, he’ll hurt me again. How can you be scared to be afraid? Wouldn’t ever think that it’s possible if he wasn’t the way he was. Who knows, maybe he wants to hurt me now?! He just can’t do it, Mama’s gonna see the marks and put him on the couch again. Or maybe he’ll do it anyway and take the consequences like a man. And maybe that’lll make him hit me more since he’ll think he has nothing else to lose, and it’s just this constant rabbit hole of him being a jerk for years and years, and I can’t do anything about it ‘cause I’m literally the size of a thumbtack - oh my bad.”

He shot himself up with a hand over the mouth when he caught on to his rambling, previously showing no signs of stopping. “You didn’t come over here for a rant session, you wanted to play or something, sorry.”

“I don’t mind. It’s uh…good to air this stuff out, y’know? Besides, I asked.”

Stressful. He always thought that being a prince was the coolest thing in the world. Was he wrong for having those assumptions for all these years? You can have anything you could ever want if you were a prince, with only the finest of fine toys or drinks being allowed. None of that boring flat sodas that earth would have an infamous amount of times(or could it just be that single store? So pretty, but crappy food was all that it could offer.). Capes and crowns and presents that awaited you every day, that's what Dipp assumed it was like to be a Prince. 

Well, if we aren't talking about the King, the Prince does get those types of things, right? From his mother or his grandpa, that's the source. And those things probably make him happy when they first arrive, Dipp never doubted that, though he did believe that the Prince spent more time stressing over how to keep his own father from hitting him out of uncontrollable rage. 

“Right…long story short, I’m not really okay right now. But eventually, I will be, nothing for you to fret over.”

“Can’t really tell me that your dad’s beating you up and expect me not to fret.”

“Well it’s not like you can do anything to stop it. Or me, or anyone at that. He’s always mean, and if three years can go by with no change, it’ll probably never happen.”

He's right too, or at least he was to Dipp, and he hated that. Foomin yelled at the King all that time ago, and she's the scariest thing ever when she yells. And Macho was there too, with their ungodly powers combined, it would be enough to scare the atoms off of anyone they encounter. A very lethal tag team, one of the top three. That won't be enough to change him - he didn't want to think so negatively when nothing drastic happened yet, but was it not just seeping through this morning? Getting jealous over someone apologizing to a table was just like the good ol' King, didn't it? Who knows, in a few more weeks he'll be right back to the same old tear-inducing shenanigans. So much for their efforts.

How was anybody supposed to answer that? No clue. Dipp went over many things in his head, but they all either sounded too stupid or accidentally mean, and saying he was sorry again won't make everything sunshine and rainbows again. Though with how the Prince was speaking, maybe his home life was never like that in the first place.

"It only happens when you roll Katamaris for him, right? If he asks again-"

"I can't say no, not again. He was chill about it the first time, but that was when he was trying to get on my good side again. Now? He's in,like, a way worse mood. I want to, I'm tired of rolling them for his satisfaction, but I can't."

"How good is he at figuring out lies?"

"Fifty-fifty? Whenever I try to tell the truth, he normally thinks I'm lying. That's how I ended up getting hurt in the first place...but when I lie, he thinks I'm being honest...mostly. Oh, but then again, I think that all comes down to how silly they sound, truth or not."

"You broke your ankle."

"Nah, then I'll have to put on an act, won't I?" the Prince thought it over, every little outcome that could come from those four words. A tiny little sentence composed of tiny little syllables, would that get him in a heap of trouble? A punch? Berating? Ultimately, the bad outweighed the bad by a ton. "Odeko's so nerdy and boring, he'd never give me bandages to make a fake cast. He'd just...go on and onnn about some geeky statistics and how it's bad to waste resources when other people need them, I hate that about him. And I'd have to get crutches too, there's no way I'm getting that from Odeko either.  For some reason he doesn't think they're for playing with, it's 'strictly for business'.Then my dad is gonna test to see if it's really broken...or maybe ask how I broke it in the first place."

Boo. And to think that Dipp was actually proud with coming up with what was once seen as a foolproof plan...

"Sick! I can just say I'm sick!" his cousin suddenly exclaimed, as if the answer was right under their little triangle noses the entire time. A good idea, Dipp liked it, though he couldn't help but be the slightest bit confused. "But won't that mean you'll have to put on an act for that one too? And people only normally get sick for a few days."

"Pretending you broke something is hard 'cause you can't move that specific part, this is just faking sick! A blowdryer to fake a fever, Marcy took some makeup from Earth, it's easy! I've done it before, he believed me then, maybe I'll get lucky again. Opeo's cool, I'll just say I caught something from him and he'll go along with it! And...the flu, that takes a while to go away, doesn't it?"

"I guess, Opeo had it for a year once."

"Oh, my dad won't believe that...a month? Is that good? Yeah, must be, Marcy was sick like that last year. It's not forever, that's a bummer, but a month-long break is better than nothing I guess."

"But you won't be able to leave your house, will you?"

"I mean...Opeo's sick everyday, but he doesn't stay home. Even then, dad doesn't have to know I'm out, I can just have another cousin take my place whenever I feel like leaving. Slip looks a lot like me, don't you think? He's just missing a few dimensions, that's all," the Prince squashed the air between his hands, rest in piece. "Not like he can tell from a distance, as long as Slip doesn't turn sideways he'll be okay, yeah?"

From the looks of it, that was the plan the Prince was content with, smiling with pride for coming up with such an idea. And honestly, Dipp was quite impressed - such a nice feat, thinking up an idea in only seconds, even having the time to go over anything that could go wrong...he hoped. The Prince never voiced those cons, though he surely went over them in his head, right? He's been so cautious regarding everything else, he didn't know why that would change now.

They're only a good month apart age-wise, but the Prince was far more clever than Dipp could ever be - such a fast thinker with or without pressure. Did that just automatically come with being a prince? Wait, no, because that would mean that the King would've been smart at some point too, and Dippp couldn't imagine that no matter how hard he tried. The Prince is smart though, very, he catches on the fastest to whatever big-worded speeches Odeko rambles out...most of the time. Maybe Odeko's so sarcastic and dry because the thought of having another cousin as smart as him bothered him to no ends. 

They decided to drop anything that had to do with the King for the moment - for one, any more discussions on how the King was a huge jerk would only lower their spirits more than they already were, and the Price looked as if he wanted to move on from that more than ever. If he was right, Dipp only had one measly hour left before Foominn came over to hog the Prince's attention, and he'd really like it if they didn't spend that time moping about beatings.

Chapter Text

 Foomin arrived an hour later with Marcy and Shy, only making Dipp realize that time passed way faster than he thought. it wasn't that late already, was it? Didn't he have more time? Oh, please, it could be a case of Foomin rushing things, heaven forbid she has to wait for something for any more than an hour. And the worst thing about it? They weren't even finished playing yet, the knight he held in his hand had yet to save the princess(the Prince wasn't very thrilled to play that role, though it was his own fault for being so god awful at flipping coins. Besides, what was he even doing with a doll in here the first place?)

Whatever, there Foomin was, interrupting them for she had no consideration to wait and let them finish, only to say the least comforting thing in the most euphoric tone of voice.

"Hey, Princey, guess who had a talk with your daaaad...."

"Oh no -- Foomin, what did you do?" the royal jumped to the worst conclusion, who could blame him? 

"Relax, relax, it's nothing like that! Marcy over here was bored, right?" she threw an arm over the fashion expert's shoulder, also pushing her forwards a speck. "Sure, she loves the thrill of uh...looking at pictures of dresses, whatever she likes to do-"

"It's not just 'pictures of dresses', Foomin, it's art!"

"That's subjective but whatever -- anyway, the dresses start to get boring after a while, finally, and she wants to do something else. Don't just stand there, Marce, tell 'em."

"I, um, w-wanted to go to Earth for some candy."

"And it was the best idea for fun she's ever had in her life! But we can't really get there on our own, obviously, and as per usual we had zero clue of the Queen's whereabouts. Your mom sure gets around, doesn't she? So, we had to persuade your dad to take us, Paula owes him 60 bucks...and I know you don't wanna see him, Princey, but it'll only be for a split second. You don't even have to talk to him, just leave that to me."

"Seems to be your only talent-"

"You don't gotta talk anymore, Marce, they get the gist of it," Foomin shushed the sarcastic remark with a few brisk pats on her cousin's back, "How about it, Princey, you'll go? Please? I promise you'll have fun."

"Well..." the Prince put down whatever he was playing with, looking away from Foomin so her pleading looks couldn't cloud his decision. "Fine, yeah, I'll go. But we're getting ice cream too."

Getting to the castle doors themselves, the other four cousins made sure to push Foomin out in front to knock on the doors, giving many far-fetched excuses such as 'elderly first', or 'tallest first'. She scoffed lightly at all of it, teasing them and calling them wimps for doing so, yet still went forwards to knock. A big relief, the Queen was there for what had to be the first time in forever, warmly inviting the children inside.

And the bigger treat? The cherry on top, almost like a buy one get one free thing? The King wasn't there at the moment, supposedly going off to check in with other planets. Nothing new there, it seems to be one of his many priorities -- go over every little flaw that his nieces and nephews would make and use said criticisms the next time he saw them.  Dipp found himself getting irritated at the remarks rather than getting sad over them, almost having the right mind to say something back. Though thinking of the Prince's situation was just what he needed to keep his mouth shut, and hopefully, that would be enough motivation for his other cousins too. 

"He'll be back soon, darlings," she announced apologetically, "He takes star gazing really seriously nowadays."

"You don't say," Marcy was abruptly silenced by Foomin with the same razor-sharp elbow she normally uses on Ace. 

"Not a problem, Auntie, we don't mind waiting. The candy shop's not going anywhere."

Maybe they should've brought Nik along too. Sure, he wasn't as close with them as he was with Macho or whoever, but he would've killed for the King to let him down to Earth to get as many sweets as the eye could see. Odeko and his strict, ordering plans, only asking the so-called favorites to go along just felt kind of stupid. Who can have a favorite cousin anyway? Didn't he read somewhere that you have to love your family basically all the same? Best friends exist, sure, but that's just a super close bond, not favoritism. Marcy's his best friend too, and he likes her just as much as he liked the Prince, even though one had better fashion sense than the other, or that one would always have the most toys. Man was the Prince right, Odeko really does have a lot of stupid thoughts to have trillions of licenses. 

They all waited in the living room with the Queen, who wasted no time telling them stories - they all ranged in genres, some being obviously made up, some being legit, and others that were too hard to take seriously. One day, she and the King got into an argument over the right way to fold laundry, and that lead to the silent treatment and many other things Dipp wished he could've seen for himself. The Prince wasn't as cheerful as the others, cracking a smile at most things and snickering at others, yet they would only last for no longer than a second. He guessed the breakfast thing was still on the cousin's mind, and the talk they had just hours before only added to that. Even when they were playing, his enthusiasm wasn't completely there...so a good move on Foomin's end, candy can lift the spirits of even the coldest people. Except for Kuro, nothing new about that.

The Queen rarely spoke to the Prince directly, either. She'd look at him now and then for questions that were meant for all of them, and she asked if he was alright for what had to be the trillionth time since the incident happened, though anything else? not a word was spoken between them - his best guess was that the talk his Aunt had with the Prince only ended up making things worse...and now he's peeved off at the King and the Queen. Huge respect to him, Dipp would be scared to show anger at even one of his parents, never mind both.

Alas, the moment finally arrived. With the smallest shuffles being heard, the cousins all turned their heads to see if their suspicions were right. In his full self-proclaimed glory, arms crossed and face blank, the King stepped out into the living room. The Queen took her leave, though not without mumbling a few words into her husband's ear, wherever that would be. "Took you long enough, your majesty," Foomin smiled at her uncle as she walked over, looking back to motion towards the others to do the same. "I hope the stardust Jungle and I made earlier was to your liking."

"Such a pleasure to see you all," he ignored the girl's little remark for now, a huge disappointment for her. He eyed them all, the Prince the most of all - his son refused to look him in the eye, seemingly finding the little paintings on the wall way more interesting. "Even with our less than nice breakfast. We're so sorry, very sorry, unpretentiously sorry for exposing you lot to those extremely gross and immature behaviors. Now, fork, you wanted something from Us, yes? An outing?"

"We're going out for candy, maybe some other stuff. Can you give us a royal rainbow? I swear we won't be out long."

"A fun day of some sorts...cute. Why yes, We see no problem with it, a little candy never kills anyone, all of you are living proof of that. Yes, go off, have as much fun as you want! And since We're feeling oh-so generous today, the kindest of the kind, as We ALWAYS are, you can play about down there for as much as you like. A fair award for such hard little workers, always rolling Katamaris without the tiniest of fusses. So sweet, We will never know what We could've done to deserve such nieces and nephews. "

"I rolled them too, father."

"Oh, Prince. Yes, We supposed you do your fair share as well. Good for you."

It was funny. Scary, for the Prince had just mentioned and proved how violent his father could be when provoked, but funny to know that the entire reason this argument happened in the first place was because the Prince apologized to a table. He knows the Prince wasn't very buddy-buddy with the man, and the King was basically asking for him to talk back with how blatantly petty he was being, a drawl being laced into almost every sentence....though if his cousin was scared, just a little, shouldn't that be enough to stop him? Like, before he says the wrong thing?

Dipp didn't intervene, he wasn't crazy, and Marcy and Shy were just as rational. If anything, he would've expected Foomin to put a stop to it all, but then he remembered that she was most likely the one who encouraged the Prince to say stuff like this in the first place. Who else?

"You say that like you do more, father."

"Who makes them into stars and stardust, ignorant Prince?"

"Who makes the Katamaris in the first place?"

"Oh, We don't know, everyone?? You just so happen to do it the most, what a shocker, yes? A future King needs to have as much experience with the Katamaris as he can, nobody can be a great ruler if all they do is watch! Though...fantabulous future Kings also tend to have the greatest cosmic bod the world has ever seen, like Us...and a snazzy yet enchanting sense of fashion...and ladies, loads and loads of...WAIT, scratch that, sorry," he paused to be sure that the Queen wasn't nearby to hear the little slip-up before going on with his rambles, "Um, fans, yes, FANS. Excluding fans, you don't seem to meet any of those requirements, though We shouldn't be so surprised."

"Why, your majesty, that wasn't very fatherly of you," oh, now Foomin wants to interfere, bringing the fakest scolding voice she could think of. "If anything, I'd say that's more...what, mean? Terrible? Rotten, almost something a jerk would do? Auntie would faint if she ever heard such a big gentle giant saying those scathing, shocking words...twice in one day...woke up on the wrong side of the bed?"

The two stared each other down in silence, the faintest of smiles showing on Foomin's face when she knew she had him. What he did this morning probably had him in enough trouble with the Queen as it is, and her caching word of another report could have him sleeping right outside the castle doors. He gave a fake smile to match Foomin's, dropping the once aggravated tone he used with the Prince. "You got Us! Having a pillow that's warm on both sides is gross, We totally need to get that fixed if We want to maintain Our essential beauty sleep. Now, like the nice and generous father We are, We'll give you the ride to Earth. Feast your unclutured eyes on Our one and only Royal Rainbow!"

Y'all know what the royal rainbow looks like right I'm trying to get to the therapy chapter already

They waited. Seconds and minutes, then more minutes, then more, wasting said time walking in silence -- they wanted to be certain that the temperamental giant had enough time to get bored of watching them from the clouds, for him to finally leave and do his dull things. A bit much to some, excessively paranoid even, but could you blame them? He watches them for Katamaris, especially when more than one person is rolling.

Did someone make you angry and you wanna talk about it with your cousin? Too bad, legitimate death wish, there was a high chance that the King would take that out of context and think that you're talking about him, and he won't shut up about it for weeks. They all had a little something they wanted to discuss with one another, the Prince most of all, and they did not want to take such a big risk by getting impatient. Where they were going? No idea, the four younger cousins were simply following a silent Foomin's steps. A possible mistake in the future, she's gotten lost several times before, though you have to give everybody the benefit of the doubt sometimes. Mostly everyone.

"You think he left?" Marcy questioned as softly as she could, the others taking subtle looks at the sky. No mustache. No chins.

"Uh...yeah, I think so," Foomin nodded with an assuring smile, "I mean, I hope so."

"Took him long enough. You know where you're going?"

"Yeah, Dipp, relax! A few lefts then, like, one or two rights, it'll come up eventually."

The sparkling cousin quickly turned to the Prince -- always out and working for his never appreciative father, if anybody knew which places were where, he would. "Didn't your dad take you to one for a Katamari, Princey? You remember what it looked like?"

"Only on the inside. It was pink, I think? Or gray, and there were these...things on sticks, these Jumboman looking-things, I don't know if they were candy or not. No, hold on, the FLOORS were pink and the walls were gray, or the other way around..."

"A remarkable memory you got there, your highness," she snarked, though really, she didn't have that right. Was she constantly moving from place to place like the Prince does nearly every day? The cousins are only called in for emergencies, or they can step in on their own accord if they wanted to, but even then it wasn't as frequent. The Prince has been everywhere at this point, probably getting his fair share of looks at candy shops and whatnot, no wonder he couldn't draw any exact details. Said cousin stopped to look at some random sign.

"I know where we are though, I've seen that sign a lot. Not the name or anything, but my dad takes me here a lot for rolling," he looked back and pointed, "I know someone down that way too, I rolled her entire family one time. We can get her to come with us and get the candy, she won't mind!"

Thank goodness for that -- it just came to the attention of the offbrand magnet that her pocket was empty, and she doubted that any of her other cousins bothered to bring anything with them. Odeko was the brain behind the planning, so if anything he should've been considerate enough to give just a little bit of cash. Better yet, did the genius even think to give Ace any money? The one who would be bringing all the goods? So much for being well organized, they'd better get a little extra just in case Ace showed up empty-handed. A few pieces are better than none. 

"A girl?"

"Shut up, Foomin, it's not like that."

"Yeah I'd hope not, the Princess might get upset otherwise."

"So you're friends?" Marcy became intrigued rather quickly. From his own words, the Prince never spoke to a human face to face before -- why bother when they couldn't even hear him? He gives small nods to a few, bows of courtesy to others, but that was pretty much it. But he had to do all that fancy schmancy stuff anyway since he's a Prince, all royal people are like that. Dipp never spoke to a human either, and he knows that as talkative as Marcy was, she tried and tried. But what did they hear, the humans? Who knows, probably just a bunch of squeaks. How on earth did the Prince manage to befriend one?

"Yeah, don't really know how. I think she gave me a strawberry one day as a thank you gift but it had a hole in it, so we went to her house to get another. She talks a lot, kinda like Foomin, but she's fun."

Hearing the comparison to Foomin only made things more worrisome. 

Getting to her house, the Prince encouraged them to hop up onto the windowsill, peering into the window. "There she is, see?"

"Man, she's tall."

"Literally everyone is tall compared to us, Foomin," Marcy gave her questioning, albeit concerned glance.

Methods of catching the human's attention were brought up -- throwing rocks, a stick, a fellow unwilling cousin, then the Prince had the idea to simply bang on the window and hope for the best. That'll work, definitely simple in the long run, but Marcy thought that her cousin idea was way more fun. They did what their royal cousin asked, balling their hands into fists before exposing the window to the worse beating in its entire life, whooping and hollering the best they could. And they succeeded alright...the very moment the banging began, Michiru jumped from her spot on the floor with a terrified shriek.

"Cool, she saw us!"

For unknown reasons, she was a bit shaken up, yet she was still chipper enough to eagerly greet the Prince and his cousins. At least they know he wasn't lying with the vague description he gave of her -- she does like to talk a lot, to the Prince most of all. Having many cousins to interact with day in and they out, they were all fortunately used to such chattiness. And fine, some Foominish things were there, but at least she came with common sense. With greetings and introductions out of the way, the Prince sprung the question on her, offering her most of the candy as an apology for scaring her. As with anyone, it was enough to seal the deal, letting them rest on her shoulders. 

Michiru didn't have too much on her, fine with them, though that would mean they won't be able to get the finer things. Originally, they planned to have the Prince go in with her -- with the store owner realizing that royalty was present, they'd get whatever candy they want without even having to pay! Then again, other people would notice too, then that meant there would be hoards of folk asking questions, wanting autographs, the normal. They opted to stay out instead, and were surely not disappointed when the girl returned. Two bags of gold rested in her fingers. True to the deal, they let Michiru keep one for herself before parting ways.

"It took us a bit longer than i thought it would, but we did it," Foomin cheered with wavering enthusiasm -- even with Marcy and Dipp's help, carrying this bag was something a lot easier said than done, "I guess your friend isn't all that bad, Princey. How come you don't wanna play with her tomorrow, embarrassed??"

"No, ew!"

"Awee, I was just joking earlier, your highness, everyone knows you wouldn't drop the Princess for some random girl, right?"

Looking past the weight in his hands, Dipp shared a look with the Prince, both wondering if it was a good move to simply go ahead and tell her everything. She played a heavy part in things too, didn't she? Getting him back to the castle, back to eating meals at the table, there's no way Odeko could've done all that stuff on his own. Would she care? She snitched too, so what mind could she have if she got mad at Dipp for ratting on what she did?

With that in mind, Dipp took a second to realize that his entire family had problems with keeping their mouths shut.

"Foomin, if I tell you something...you won't be mad?"

"Kinda hard to be mad at any of you, you're so tiny. Shoot."

"He knows, Foomin," Dipp took over, letting everything out in one rush. "A-about what you did, the council, we talked about it before you came"

"Oh, come ON Dipp-"

"I didn't tell him though, Odeko did! 

"Odeko...really?" It didn't come as a shock to her, knowing that this was only one of the countless times their brainiac cousin couldn't be bothered to keep a secret. She couldn't find it in her to be upset like she initially was at Dipp, being more annoyed at the purple thing than anything else.

Was she used to him at this point? With the stairs thing, she guessed she's been near him almost as much as she's been near Macho...the only difference was that one was easier to hang out with than the other. Or maybe it's just because if she was upset, she'd pick an argument with him, and everybody knows that starting an argument with Odeko and hoping to win was a lost cause -- everybody either accepts defeat or cries in anger, sometimes even both. Ha, one of her two brains must've been behind this, protecting her from such torture. No, she wasn't exactly gonna let it slide, she'd bring it up to Odeko later on, why wouldn't she? "Wouldn't be the first time. I'm sorry, Princey, I didn't tell them to embarrass you or anything! I was worried, and it's not like they were gonna do anything to help."

"It's alright, it would've taken me way longer to even look him in the eye again if you didn't do anything," he wasn't mad either, yet she sorta expected that too. She never saw the Prince as the kind of kid to get...MAD mad over something, like, the punching brick walls kind of mad. He'd tell some cousins to shut up now and then, and he punched Ace one summer, thank goodness,  but even with those moments, he was just mildly upset. Bland. The dullest of vanilla, the unspiciest of Cheetos. A not-so-nice thought came up regarding the King teaching him to hide his emotions, and maybe that's why he's like that. He's scared to even be angry at someone, maybe even at the King himself. "Thanks."

"No no, thank you. Now we can finally stop all the silly stuttering and the lies, you guys suck at lying. But with that all out, can I ask you something too? You still scared of him?"

The King was a King, Kings love power. And what power did he have over the Prince? Everything, exactly. He'll do anything he's asked of, and why? The King's bigger, he's meaner, and he'll always be stronger by default. And most importantly, his cousin was scared, and that's the biggest advantage her uncle used. The Prince never detested the absurd requests the King would often give him for Katamaris, and the King never eased up knowing that the boy was too frightened to speak back.

 All that icky stuff about him was coming back, and she wanted to get one thing straight with her cousin before the man's mask dropped completely.

"Yeah...I'm mad at him too, but I'm kinda scared to be too mad at him. One wrong word and he'll lose it all over again."

"That's your problem, Princey," Foomin let go of her end of the bag unexpectedly as the other two cousins screamed and crumpled, and she grabbed the royal by the shoulders.

"You're scared of him, yeah, I'd be scared too with everything he's done. And I know he's this big and scary monster who can shoot lasers out his eyeballs and bullies children for a living, but guess what? He knows he's scary to you, Princey, and he likes it. Why were you rolling Katamaris for him almost every day, even when you're tired? Because he knew that you're scared of something bad happening if you said no. How come he talks to you any way he wants? He knew you were too scared to talk back."

She lightly pressed the end of her totally existing finger onto the middle of his forehead. "Where does fear come from? Here. All in your head, or at least blown so out of proportion that it stops you from seeing every angle of the problem. You can't give him the joy of seeing you scared, alright? That makes him glad. You're mad too, that's cool, but you can't be scared to be mad! He can't kick your ass just for that, especially when everything's his fault. There's not much he can do, one wrong move and the Queen will wring him out. Show him you're not scared, then he'll see he doesn't have much power over you, alright?"

Maybe she should add motivational speaker to her growing list of potential careers to her list too, this stuff was way easier than the shows she watched with Shikao made it out to be.

"Even when we're alone?"

"Even when you're alone, if you don't, he'll only think it's an act."

"What if he hurts me?"

"I'll take care of it just like how I've been taking care of things so far, no problem," By her, that more so meant Macho, but she'll be there with him for the threatening stuff. "But I don't think he's crazy enough to do it. You're tough, right? Just keep talking to him like you've been talking to him if he says something first, he'll cave in and apologize eventually. Then he'll back off. Trust me?"

"Yeah..." the tone of voice told a different story, but at least she got a confirmation. "Yeah, I trust you."

"Good," she smiled before turning back, almost forgetting about the two cousins she dropped the candy on...and Shy? Was she there the entire time? What a mouse, the embodiment of a library, noticing her presence gave her a bit of a fright. "Oh, Shy! There you are, go grab the other side of the bag. I think we oughta head back home now, your highness, this bag is a lot to carry around. I'll show you how to make ice cream later on instead, okay?"

He knew that it wouldn't be quite the same as the fresh-out-the-bin ice cream that he was used to and worshiped, but getting any was better than nothing at all. And how fabulous would it be to no longer ask the King for money to buy it once he knew how to make it himself? "Father!! We're ready to go now!" he shouted to the sky with a cupped hand. The King peeked through the clouds, mildly confused with how fast they wanted to return.

"You got it? That fast? What happened to that other stuff Foomin mentioned? We assumed you all wanted to play?"

"Changed our minds,we're tired," Foomin spoke for them, which couldn't be more true for Dipp and Marcy, the cramps in their arms turning into full-on burns. "Did you know that we had to carry this thing for seventy footsteps straight??"

"We see, carrying it together like a bunch of ants. But We don't see the Prince helping, not a jot, yes? Was the single bag candy too much for your fragile arms to handle, feeble Prince? Getting a little sluggish, aren't we? Just because you're of royal descent doesn't mean you should expect everyone to work for you, haven't We raised you better than that? A travesty, such a huge stake to the heart  to see that Our parenting has only led to  Our son choosing the lazy path in life."

"That's your fault then, isn't it?"

"And defiance, it's seems like it's led to that too. But We'll suck up Our tears of heartbreak and push forwards, and maybe, just maybe, if We cross our fingers and every single toe, Our amicable endeavors will get through to you. Let's get you all home, the clouds could look like they might shed a few tears too, yes?"

With a flashing and sparkling rainbow, the King of all Cosmos whisked them all back home.

Chapter Text

Setting up should’ve been fun.

Odeko was technically in charge, since he was the one to give out the most important orders and whatnot...Velvet was in charge too he supposed, though he was certain there was never a verbal confirmation of the sort. A good thing really, Velvet was all talk, what kind of leader would that make? Foomin was no longer around to make fun of his forehead, the uncanniness of his height, and for once just his mere existence wouldn't be the biggest laugh of the century. Oh, nor could she divert any cousins from doing what they needed to do, and focus is the sole thing they must have a firm grip on if they wanted to finish this up neatly and nimbly.

And Ace, ACE, he wasn’t here either!  No, if Odeko was right, the orange cousin was in the kitchen with Nik, trying to stash as many things as they could into their sack before they were caught. Those were the main two, the worst of the worst, and with them gone the genius should feel more at ease…

But he wasn’t.

Neither were his cousins, he could just feel how nervous they were just from the atmosphere of the room - silent as mice, constantly picking their heads up whenever their uncle shifted positions.  The King had been insistent on keeping an eye on them, that he would be the one to keep things to be certain that everything is in tip-top shape for his beloved son. They begged him to leave in the nicest way possible, plastering nervous smiles on their tiny faces and being on the brink of tears. If they were being too obvious, some believed, he would’ve caught on to not being wanted, and did they want to know what he would do to them if the godly giant got his feelings hurt?

Their pleas failed, PLONKED, and now they were stuck under his supervision. Eyes were following them, unreadable eyes that could shoot lasers whenever he pleased. Now the other cousins had nothing to worry about - most had been so worried about meeting the Prince’s fate, that they only spoke to their uncle with only the greatest respect. Foomin was on thin ice, but can he do anything to her? Yell at her, hit her as he does to the Prince?  As dull as those two brains were, they never failed to let her down when it came to blackmail, and she’s shown that skill more than enough times. 

Regardless of what their tiny, hysterical senses told them, Odeko could safely say that all of his cousins were out of harm’s way.

Odeko, however, had the nasty feeling that he wasn’t.

The little private moment he had with the King came to mind as he worked, the one where he was ever so desperate to get the Prince to warm up to him again, to finally break that fear…that King felt loads different than the future King, all sour and angry for the Prince’s snark.

Who’s side was he on? That took a while for Odeko to figure out, trying to place himself in both of their shoes - on one hand, the Prince had a good reason to act the way he was.  The excuses the King gave as to why he was the way he was weren’t exactly things you would get sympathy from, and more so befuddled looks instead. ‘Yes, We were forced in a bunch of activities We didn’t like as a kid, so that’s why We’ve been beating you up for the past six years of your life. Sorry!’

 Odeko would’ve laughed, smiled even, but held his straight face for his safety. Wasn’t all that funny to the King, apparently, and it certainly wasn’t too funny to the Prince. The King could've noticed his faults and tried to correct them, though Odeko feared that such hope would only become a reality in an alternative universe. He couldn't see any other possibility, the King would have Odeko on a t-shirt since it was his advice in the first place. Funny how even when he tries to do the nicest things for his family, they always have a way of causing him adversity in the future. As the sad life as an underrated genius...

It was Foomin’s fault too, couldn’t the King see that?! So blind, a bat would sneer at him, who else would be behind all of this? She’s been the one encouraging him to bring up the King’s mistakes the most, though Odeko was confident that half of that rudeness came from anger he’s been forced to bite down for years. Anger that the King himself caused him to bottle up - and if he didn’t, the kid would’ve been seeing lasers for hours.

But now he’s in trouble, stuck in a world where he had to keep a hold of his violet problem-solving methods.  Any form of physical mistreatment? If a black eye revealed itself, or the Prince began to shy away in his house? The Queen would give him the cold shoulder, the forgiveness would vanish, POOF. Again would he have to rest his back on the couch of depression, and his one-crumb edibles would quite possibly be reduced to frozen meals from Earth, which was the lowest one could possibly go. The King - or anyone who was sane - would never want to go back to a lifestyle like that, not when he just got the Queen to smile at him again. Everyone knew it, and so did the Prince, so he took the chance to retaliate the moment it opened.

But the King’s trying, Odeko had to give him that…or rather, he used to try. He’s been nice to the Prince for weeks, putting effort into doing things he likes, talking to the boy without making a single remark about his appearance or actions. For anyone else, it wasn’t all that remarkable, other parents did these sorta things 24/7 since it's literally their job. But for the King of All Cosmos? Short time aside, it was outstanding, most of the cousins thought he wouldn’t even make it past a day.

It wasn’t a surprise why he was bitter either - all of his hard work was only being met with less-than-desirable results. Snarks instead of thank yous, or glares when getting praise. Though could the King really expect anything else? Was he hoping that a few nice deeds would undo all of the awful stuff he did to the Prince? Wouldn’t be too out of character for him, but come on. He had to be on his cousin’s side, he'd be an absolute jerk if he wasn't... though, he didn't dare make that too obvious when the King was around…the man already wasn’t pleased with him. On that day, there was a threat, a chilling threat that would pop up in his head on many nights as he tried to sleep. If the Prince ended up hating the King even more, then it would somehow be Odeko’s fault…and those two didn’t really seem to be too happy with each other, did they?

That’s why he’s standing there, ready to fulfill his promise. The purple quill wasn’t paranoid, never, he’s not like his younger cousins..he’s simply being candid, that's all. Why else would he be guarding them, wanting to get things right for the Prince when he just had an argument with him hours before? A case of mistrust can’t be it, everyone’s been in this room, with pint-sized pockets that couldn’t hold any goods to steal even if they tried. He’s there for him, just him. And his company was a reminder - as soon as all of those eyes were shut and snores were shared, the King was taking him out of that room to give him a piece of his mind…or fists.

No worries though - as with all problems he has encountered, there was an easy solution to this. With his life at risk, Odeko decided to put his priority on what he would say at the inevitable quarrel, the chatter of his cousins sounding more like a background movie than anything else. What else was there for him to do, though? He made sure to explain to the cosmic royal why the Prince was upset with him the very day his behavior changed.

The King knows that his own excuse was the reason why the Prince was so moody, so shouldn't he be the one to solve things instead? Though once he briefly thought it over, he realized that would mean his uncle would have to take responsibility for everything,  he’d have to do things all on his own. The tallest cousin had been way too expecting,  the King couldn't even think of ways to be a better father without Odeko’s help. Tell him to keep pushing on? His previous attempts to start anew seemed to work well enough to where the Prince no longer cried at his presence. Yeah, some fear turned into reasonable anger, but that was loads better than the way he was on day one.  

Yet again, trying to give that guidance could only enrage his uncle even more - 'Why should We keep being nice when all it gets Us is discourtesy??!' was his mindset at the moment,  and having the nerve to recommend such a thing would appall him. It was all so hilariously stupid how easy it was for him to give up on something after a few days of pettiness. 

If that was out of the picture, then the only other logical solution Odeko could think of was to have the two talk again. The Prince clearly had a few things he wanted to spit at him  - and truthfully, Odeko looked forward to hearing it - and the King had quite a few details he needed to fill in about his childhood. Tell him just how bad their grandpa was, don't mention any of that ballet mess, and maybe the King would have the slightest teensiest chance of getting the Prince to understand. It won't get rid of that anger completely, that'll be there for who knows how long, but he'll at least be a bit nicer than he was right now.

A party like this was nothing out of the ordinary to the Prince - with Dipp being his closest friend, random parties were a thing he had no choice but to be accustomed to. Always with the lights that were soo flashy, even Marcy got a headache from them. And the dancing, do you know how long he can go without feeling a hunt of exhaustion? The royal cousin enjoyed them, all of them, even the not-so-fun ones - he held a grudge against his father at the moment, but he did keep that piece of advice about always appreciating his gifts in his head. A Prince, a princess, whoever the royal subject may be, must show gratitude towards whatever they were given, no matter how tacky or tear-shedding hilarious they may be. And the same thing...went for his own father too, right?

The young Prince received many presents from his father that made him scrunch his nose or try to hold back a snicker of disbelief. Hand-me-downs were apparently gifts in his father's eye, and if there were even a resemblance of displeasure on his face, it would send his father into a royal rage, and one could only handle his fists of fury for so long before breaking. But at least that was a good enough reason for those punishments- some of those gifts came from fans that were once for his father, and the man had been uncharacteristically kind enough to pass them on to him when it was more than clear that his big ass couldn't wear it himself. And if he didn't like them, if he showed that disgust, it would be rude, he'd be the baddest of all Princes. And bad Princes, as his experience told, never got good things.

Was it worth stressing over at the moment? Right now, right as he was surrounded by people who took time out of their day to give him a surprise? He didn't mean to, honest - having a father like the King, having these kinds of frantic thoughts were normal.

Worried that he didn't get enough things for his Katamari, scared of the punishment he would receive if there was a single meatball missing from his spaghetti, scrambling to clean extra crumbs from the floor before he could catch a glimpse of them. Whenever they were within two feet from each other, these were his thoughts for every ticking minute, failing to cease until he was either away from the castle, or his father found something to occupy himself with. And now, with the giant being devoted to proving how much he could change, he was sticking to the Prince's side almost every moment he could...or at least that was how it was before he started getting mean again.

The fears kept him up at night, regardless of how comforted he was in Macho's presence. For a bit, the exact night he fell down the stairs, he was thankful for it - it seemed like he finally outsmarted his nightmares, can't be frightened awake if you can't fall asleep in the first face, ha. But then that night turned into two nights, then a week, and then the day he finally did manage to go to sleep, it was 3 in the morning. Or was it four? Right, straight between the earliest times of the morning, he would never be able to sleep until the depths of the day since there would consistently be a cousin who wanted something from him. He could never bring himself to ever shift the blame to some of them, that's something his father would do - from that day he silently swore that he would never, EVER be anything like him. 

It's the King's fault, ALL of it was his fault, he's the reason the Prince was such a sorry mess. It's been like this from the very beginning, the exact moment he learned how to utter a word that wasn't complete gibberish. He calls his parenting tough love, that since his father fathered him that way(and apparently "worked") it would be best for him to take those stupid fathering techniques to father his own son.

But oh, poor old unsubstantial King, having his ankles tortured in those blindingly pink shoes...watching waterfalls of tears fall from his fingers as they were mercilessly forced into piano keys - years of that, and just about anybody could turn out like him. But the King never had to worry about getting hurt during lunch, or at night, or when playing with friends, overanalyzing every little thing to be sure that his next action wouldn't upset his father. Maybe the King was a bit older than the Prince was when his grandfather first started laying out those punishments, so he wasn't as petrified of doing the wrong thing.

Grown-ups weren't afraid of most things, just bills and taxes or whatever he sees on his mother's nightstand. And then there was a stage when someone's almost a grown-up, but still on the short side, like Velvet or Macho…or maybe they really are grown and were destined to never be more than two inches tall. Whatever the deal was, his grandfather was merciful enough to bring his reign of pain later in the King's life when he was tougher and taller. 

Yet the King didn't want to wait that long, did he?

Now the Prince had to take everything he did into consideration, because heaven forbid anyone makes a mistake in his self-acclaimed grandiose presence. Leave too many crumbs on the floor? 'Ugh! Who was the despicable slob that left this mess? Prince...oh Prince, of course it was you. So lethargic, so inconsiderable, were you expecting the mess to clean itself?! Now it's up to Us to tidy everything up before someone comes by and thinks We're messy. Poor Us, going through the bother to clean, all because We were unfortunate enough to end up with a loser like the Prince. Go. Leave Us alone right now, just looking at you fills Us with so much disappointment, We just might cry." 

If he felt like he needed a small break and played with his cousins for too long? ' All play and no work, that's what you are. Always making time to act the fool with your cousins, but when it comes to Us? Your own overworked father? Suddenly you're too tired, you're hungry, some messy excuse like that. If you'd put effort into fixing the sky like you do with those drawings, the sky wouldn't look anywhere near as detestable as it did right now! See your cousins? See their stars? Why can't you be more like them?"

And of course, those quotes were the realest of real, whenever the King began to berate you, it was hard for the words not to stick. With pure luck, both of those instances only involved shouting instead of scorching burns or frostbite - if there was one thing he could count on, it would be the King's attention span, never wanting to waste his time on one thing for too long. Hurtful on some days, but an absolute blessing on most. It didn't matter how nice the king pretended to be, or how much his mom promised that he would never be harmed again, how were those little bits of comfort supposed to make him forget the years of mistreatment from before?

Foomin's right, which has been happening an awful lot lately. Lots of his cousins would get on his case if he ever said that out loud, and Odeko would only see him as a joke if he ever had the insane mind to speak to him, but she was. His father loves that fear, it's his power, and he feeds off of that to make himself scary. Break the power? Break the fear. it was gonna be way harder than she made it out to be, but she never would've bothered to suggest it in the first place if she deemed such a task impossible.

All he had to do was pay no heed to the King's threats, and from this point on, never be alone with him.

EVER.

He foolishly did so the day he showed his father his photo album, only because he genuinely believed he was starting anew...but that's it. Don't quote him on that, but he meant it, he'd never step foot in an empty room with him ever again. And...right, he has to be mean too, even meaner than he was right now! The Prince didn't have the slightest clue how this would all end up being in his favor, some alarms begging him not to go through with it. But it's Foomin! She never lead him wrong before, and that wouldn't start now either. She's not book smart like Odeko (a lucky feat in the case of her social life), but she had an extraordinary handle on things like this. Who was the one to end the five-month quarrel between Macho and Nik, a quarrel that would leave jaws dropped if anyone went into the nitty-gritty details? She did it, using methods that she still refuses to disclose to this day. 

If anyone had his back, it would be her, and she knew what she was doing when it came to these kinds of situations.

Magazines weren't very fab anymore.

They talked earlier, a talk that the King had dreaded the entire morning. The Queen had been furious once more, asking...demanding if he was in his right mind all those years ago. She hit him on his now tender head with a rolled-up magazine she grabbed from his side of the bed, being sure that not a single spot was left unharmed.  But he didn't dare try to defend himself this time, he didn't deserve to have such a privilege.

It was such a terrible thing to hear, the waver through the anger of her voice as she put the magazine through the worst hell of its entire life. He would never dream of leaving the Prince out in the rain long enough for him to get terribly ill, and the lightning bolts he did send at his small frame only came from .5% of his power, really! Was that too much, and the feeble Prince couldn't even handle such a soft strike? None of the things the Queen mentioned actually ensued, but just knowing that there was an equal chance that those instances could've gone wrong only made him feel worse and worse with every passing second.

Scratch that, actually. One had gone wrong, rottenly wrong, awry enough to have his family frightened and angered. Those stupidly handsome stairs, a permanent reminder of the biggest mistake he's ever committed. He always thought that a slide would've been a much more lavish way of conveyance, and he wishes that he would've gone through with those plans ever since March. The stairs had been a result of him getting too reckless, and just what exactly occurred before that? He yelled at the Prince, called him out of his name, he punched and he scratched and he said whatever came to mind. He wasn't very fond of this deja vu, not one bit. 

A little murmur of a sorry wasn't enough to get her to look at him. They sat just inches apart on the bed, with the once smooth magazine now being a shell of its former self, crinkled and torn from where a few pages became snagged on his crown.  The yearning to reach out for it was tempting - he could only find so many details about his slippers before getting bored - but the Queen's blank stare at the door ahead was just the encouragement he needed to keep his hands to himself. What could he say after what just happened? Should he even attempt to speak, or would that result in her beating up his tongue too? Microscopic papercuts were no joke.

"I know it was a while ago, I-I know that you've stopped as of now, but why? No, how, how can you do those things to him for years straight?!" she spoke, minutes after he just gave his apology. Wise to avoid getting yet another beating, the King kept his eyes on his ring-cladded hands...was one missing? He had just gotten a new one a few weeks ago, plucking one off of the sparkly planet he had sent Marcy off to create. Call her what you want, but her taste in jewelry was outstandingly fabulous! A fetching ring, with so much bling, gone just as he was starting to get attached. Stolen? Misplaced? It was so hard to hear the footsteps of his nephews and nieces unless his mind was completely zero, and even then it was tough to distinguish whose footsteps belonged to who.

But then, if he saw them almost every day, how come he failed to familiarize theirs when he knew the Prince's like the back of his hand? A funny walk could be the thing, though the Prince was so itty bitty that the King would have to strain his eyes to even notice such a detail, and it would be a shame if such dazzling orbs lost their specialness all because-

"King!" she was always horrifying when she yelled, so far(and embarrassingly) being the only person in the world who could startle him to the bone. Ah, had he blanked out again? She noticed?!

"We heard you, don't worry. And We know, yes? We...We shouldn't have treated Our dashing son in such a despicable way, and We're the sorriest We've ever been. But We've been changing, see? We haven't done any of that stuff in months, We just send him to the corner whenever he gets out of line! And We've also taken away his milk privileges, and there will be more more taco tusedays for him until he's seven. Those parenting movies are like cheat sheets, it's a shock that some people find it to be so difficult."

"Calling him ungrateful and a failure was a tip you got from a movie?"

Only one, which was the point since it was one of those comedy things that Foomin enjoyed, but the King decided that it would be best not to tell her.

"He thinks you hate him, King, and he sounded like he's been thinking it for a while."

"What? US?! No, We make it perfectly clear to the Prince that We cherish him every day! We gave him his own Princedom because We love him that much, a-and surely We've said it during conversations or when We tell him stories at night," the King could name out dozens of more instances when he proved his adoration for his son, finding the Queen's revelation to be the most shocking thing he's heard all week. Has he ever given the Prince too big of a reason for him to think such a thing? He always apologized after his old disciplines, and he made sure to praise him for every accomplishment that was made. And now! Ignoring today, he's up so much effort into shying away from the man he used to be. What kind of father would go the extra mile if they didn't love someone?

The Queen felt as if the conversation was starting to take a dive into a depressive territory, and she was visibly quite frustrated for reasons he didn't understand. Whatever it may be, he'd much rather drop it now and find out later. The ticking of a clock was all they could hear for a few minutes, though the guilt-ridden king didn't miss the hand that went up to wipe his wife's eyes. Leave it, yes - for the sake of potential tears and going in circles, perhaps it would be the right thing to do for the time being. Besides, wasn't it wrong? Strange even, to have such a discussion when their younger relatives were just a few jumps away? A de-stressor was the next idea to come to the King's mind, and what was better than a puzzle?

The King usually adored making puzzles with his wife on the carpet of their bedroom. How can all of those jagged prince-sized things make such detailed pictures of swans and rainbows? Oh, or the one he saw when there was an entire inside of a hotel, all being able to fit in just 30 pieces! It was quite fascinating, almost feeling like a type of trinket Odeko would invent on a rainy day, and they should've filled the king with the fascinated excitement like always. He shouldn't mope, moping was only a thing victims should do. What could be wrong? The beloved Queen was right in front of him with a smile that he loved more than his chin (though it was definitely aimed towards the pretty pictures instead of him)...and he could even hear the Prince and his cousins, their muffled little screams and thumps as they played. The Queen's words left a  rather depressing image in his mind of the Prince, so hearing him happy was the littlest spark of joy he felt today.

With his Queen waiting and a silverfish puzzle piece in between his fingers, there was suddenly this icky feeling that was striking him from everywhere too. Clammy, was that it? Cold but not cold enough, and the slightest bit of unwanted warmth that refused to let him be was like a rotten cherry on pistachio ice cream. 

"We'll apologize to him," inside thought, outside thought, the case for this one didn't matter to him. The Queen lifted her head away from the puzzle, quickly catching on to what he was getting at. With the pause for her to speak her opinion not being taken, the King went on, "Perhaps We've been too harsh with the Prince lately, everything's getting too close to Our old parenting for Our liking...We just want him to warm up to Us again. This could be an apology, yes? The party?"

"I don't think so," The Queen took the piece from his hand when he had taken too long to place it down...it was only, ONLY because of their talk, not because he couldn't figure out where it was supposed to go. The age thingy on the box was totally wrong, if he was on his own the puzzle would be finished in mere seconds. His Queen's words were a bit of a letdown though - his hypersensitive and colorful niece had been the one to spring the idea in the first place, and if Marcy has an idea that would bring someone joy, she'd claim it faster than his royal blink. The Prince, loving his cousins dearly, wouldn't like the King trying to cash in her idea as his own peace offering. 

"The Prince looks like he's a fan of glitter...is he lacking sparkles in his wardrobe?"

"None of your tights would fit him," she gave a soft laugh, the second blow of the minute. Long-term presents were a thing, and just like the bed, he could easily grow into it with time...lots and lots and lots of time, in which the King could only hope his bucket would be nice and unkicked by the time the Prince reaches an inch. "Though I suppose I could make one..."

"Wonderful!"

"...but gifts aren't what he wants, you know that. He told you then and there."

Ugh...he really didn't want to think about that nasty little spat anymore than he needed to, it was definitely awful enough to end up on his list of rare embarrassments. At least this mentioning wasn't for no reason - in fact, he's lucky, another instance of his wise wife saving him when his mind was in befuddled shambles. So no gifts, no words...um...what? nothing? No no, well that couldn't do, nothing would mean that there would have to be another silent treatment, and witnessing the Prince isolate himself for those first few months was concerning enough.

You know who was good at figuring this stuff out? Tall and purple, bearable on some days and unbelievably insufferable on others? What's-his-name, yes! With far more important matters being in the King's head, he had forgotten what terms he was on with the geeky little nephew. Hopefully, they were all buddy-buddy, ready to share a smile and a laugh at any given moment...the Queen, bless her beautiful heart, there couldn't have been a better person to come to when the conversation revolved around their son. But specifics, elaborate tips, that's what the desperate King needed first and foremost! He had been thinking it over while resting on the door, watching the cousins scramble to get things perfect before the Prince returned home - he found it adorable despite all the things he thought they could do better....the crooked drawing on the wall was still agonizing to think of.

Odeko seemed a bit too busy at the moment, making sure that no cousin got confused or lost their train of focus. Oh, but there's no way he would try to go in there and pull him out now, not when the Prince was having the time of his life. What if the two were playing? A game of tag or the new board game the creative Prince made, the King couldn't take Odeko away without upsetting the infinitesimal child.

Tonight? Tonight, certainly, he'd make it an absolute must to catch him before he left! Hours of precious sleep would have to be sacrificed, but he couldn't live knowing that his son felt like he was hated. 

Chapter Text

Odeko abhorred overnight parties, finding it a waste of time to spend the night goofing around when he needed those hours for far more important things. Licenses to get, chemicals to hide from whoever felt curious enough to roll into his planet, it was much more consuming than one might think. There were things that he needed to get a headstart on now - he had once hoped that he would have enough time to make a few notecards for the session with his uncle, but Foomin was annoyingly insistent on making him stay for, in her words, a few minutes. What was even left? The tasks were done, the Prince was back, and Odeko still wasn't sure if the cousin would show the same playful smiles as he did to everyone else, or make it his top priority to bug him. Foomin didn’t seem to care, the grip she had on his wrist didn’t loosen up at all as she shoved him away from the door with way more aggression than was necessary. 

“Princey wanted to talk to us about something once he comes back. Or, he wanted to talk to you guys, I already know,” the girl had started to become a little too pretentious lately, and now it was only getting harder to tell if she was joking or not. That aside, at least the genius couldn’t be too irked by the forced prolonged visit. The Prince, who was at the bathroom sink with a few other cousins to try to get the frosting off their clothes…yes, there was a food fight…he wouldn’t demand to speak with all of them if it wasn’t crucial. Then again, the Prince wasn’t the same once he’s jacked up with sugar packets and icing, whatever  Ace managed to smuggle in…so this could end up being a big waste of his valuable time after all. Heedless, they were.

“Probably just a proclamation of appreciations. I still fail to see why I can’t leave.”

“Applause? No, its got nothing to do with that, whatever it is… he knows that we know about what the King did and our plan to help out, and now he wants us to know that he knows that we know, know doesn’t sound like a word after you say it a few times, does it? Anywho, he’s cool with it, I think he just wants to get everything on the table so we can finally stop acting so ridiculous.”

Oh, now he understood. It was quite difficult to tell all of the cousins at once, never knowing how drastic they would react to thinking that the royal might feel betrayed, but Odeko probably would’ve chosen the same route as well. But then if that was it, was there even a reason to stay put? He was the one to let the Prince know what was going on in the first place, sitting through this council would only be like a repeated lecture.

“Like that's a surprise, he was serene about it when I told him.”

“Right, just reminded me! About that…”

Her hands might be tiny, but those palms could leave a sting sharper than a piercing needle, a pin even! Odeko quickly drew back with a shout of pain as his hands flew to his sizzling forehead, catching a frowning Foomin standing ahead, arms behind her back as to erase any traces of her even attempting to strike him. “What’s your problem?!”

“My problem, what’s yours, idiot?! ‘Erm, we shouldn’t reveal such embarrasshing information becaushe it could shend the Prinche into a panic! Pleashe guysh don’t tell him about any of thish!’,you’ve been pushing this secrecy thing on us like a sargent just to go and blab yourself, like always!”

“So? I see the duplicity, I can partially comprehend why you’re sore, but if the Prince is fine with it like you claim, what’s the trouble?”

“You could’ve messed everything up, duh! What if the Prince did freak out over it and got worse because of you?”

“Then I’d take the blame for it, Foomin. But he’s okay, so I really don’t get why this deserves so much uproar,” he spoke her name through slightly gritted teeth, taking a few steps back in case she decided to sporadically slap him again.

“Nobody’s making an uproar, geek, it’s just annoying as hell you're always doing this!” there was a momentary satisfaction as Odeko eyed her holding the hand she used to hit him with, which was without a doubt hurting way more than his forehead with how hard she struck. “Don’t say this, refrain from doing that, do you even remember the things you tell us most of the time? If you can’t practice what you preach then maybe you should shut up more often.”

“Like you’re any better? You were purportedly concerned about the Prince getting freaked out only to tell everyone anyways??”

She froze, the frown lightening up as a tiny smirk began on Odeko’s face. “That…that was different…yeah, it totally was!”

“Enlighten me.”

“I only told everyone because I wanted to help him, something that you couldn’t seem to do on your own,” Foomin retorted with a move of her hand, catching Odeko off guard by just how fast she was able to think of a justification. “Why’d you tell him, huh? Did it slip for the billionth time this month or what?”

“He nearly forced it out of me! I barely gave any details at that, he was able to piece everything together on his own!”

“Yeah right, with the way you speak? Whatever, man,” At least she was aware enough to notice that she was starting to make a bit of a scene, Velvet and Macho briefly looking away from their card game at the sound of the racket. He would be grateful for this, knowing that an altercation with Foomin would only go in circles with how often she tended to contradict herself, but who to say she wouldn't try to start again once they were alone? "Princey's alright, so I'm alright. Just think before you speak next time, Mr. Hypocrite."

There were tons of things he wanted to spit out too, that she was a hypocrite calling him a hypocrite - all in all, he felt like she needed to be humbled as well... yet decided, for once in his life, to have some dignity and be the better person. His younger cousins would return any minute, and he didn't want to disturb their happy moods with his and Foomin's nonsense, so he shot up. On his accords, not because Foomin suggested it, get that straight.

The group returned in varying moods - The Prince was more immersed in wringing the water out of his sleeves than anything else, Opeo had the 4th broken bone of the hour, Marcy was still picking bits of now soggy cookie crumbs off her dress with a disgusting twist of the nose, and Dipp just couldn't seem to stop coughing up water. 

"Where's Ace?" Foomin inquired to the others as she went over to smack Dipp on the back, "And...how did Opeo break something in water?"

"Ace is still in the sink, and Opeo tried to do a cannonball off the tap thingie and landed on the Prince," Marcy sighed with a shake of her hands, giving up on her endeavor to get the ant bait off. "And I almost drowned because he decided to push me in!" she snapped at the regal cousin. (yes yall my Grammarly works now)

"I said I was sorry!"

"As long as nobody died again everything's cool, right?" Foomin wasn't so sure about how true that statement would hold up with Dipp's coughing, but nothing wrong with having hope, was there? "Lay down for a bit, Marcy, you'll live. Get on with the council, your highness, apparently somebody has something important they need to do." she spoke loudly as she looked over her shoulder with a glare.

"What about Ace?"

"What  about  him? It's not like he'll have anything useful to say, it's not that big of a loss," she shrugged, setting Dipp aside once she felt like he would be okay. Getting into it with Odeko already took enough out of her, and knowing him he would have loads of disfavored remarks to share. And adding a richphobic Ace on top of that? She could only punch so many people in the arm per day before she reached her limit. Much to her gratitude, the Prince nodded, walking off to the front of the room like Macho had done weeks ago...she hoped that the riot idea would resurface, it sounded like an awful lot of fun before Macho put a stop to everything.

"Hear ye, hear ye," she shushed the cousins' chitchat with a yell, cupping her hands over her mouth as a budget-cut megaphone. "His shortness, his pint-sizedness, the leader of ants and dust bunnies and air particles alike, the master of stilts, our Prince!"

"That's enough, Foomin, thank you," the Prince waved her down with a less-than-pleased glance.

"What's on your mind, Princey?"

"If it's about that stain in your carpet I  swear  it wasn't me."

"I'm not the type to point fingers but if any of us were to be a chip stealer, it would be Marcy."

"It's not about any of that, Honey, relax," the prince looked as if he couldn't exactly find the right way to break it to them without having them break out into a frenzied argument upon another, shifting the blame from one cousin to the next without a second thought. Foomin had to speak up for him instead, shutting down the sweet cousin's concern. "Something else, way more important...I think. Not really, it's dumb once you really think about it. They don't bite, your highness, tell them."

"Um...I-I know about the council from a few weeks ago..."

"It was Foomin!"

"Yep, all hers."

"She forced us to comply!"

"He knows it was me, guys, shut up! And of course, our dear cousin Odeko gets the credit for spilling everything to him in the first place," speaking his name, the girl spotted him not too far away in the middle of the crowd, with him returning the same sour look that she gave. "I bet that's not too big of a surprise though, isn't it? Yeah, all of that priceless knowledge up there must take up  sooooo  much space, no wonder everything just so happens to slip out all the time. The Prince is okay with it, no hurt feelings or anything, and the council was probably the best move we could've made."

Tick. Another tick. Clocks could be terribly noisy sometimes, they hardly even noticed until all the words left the room. Foomin didn't want to show it since it could lead them to think the worse, but it did bother her that she couldn't read the silence well enough to think of something to say next. Were they thinking too? Wondering what to say, what to do, where to go? She wished that was it, if they were waiting for her to add to the announcement they'd be terribly aggrieved.

"I'm so sorry that happened to you, your majesty," the one brave sole, the one to start an effect like dominoes, a very neat role to have, was it not? Miki decided to take it first, though her voice was a bit cracky. Was she going to cry, or was it only because she had been resting her voice for so long? "We knew the King wasn't exactly the kindest dad around, but we never expected him to go and do something so..."

"Sick," Ichigo continued right where Miki stopped, her hands balled into little fists, "Sick and awful, that's what it was! Princey why didn't you say anything sooner?! Is that why you're always so 'sleepy' whenever you're finished rolling Katamaris? Was he giving you black eyes then too?!"

"No! It wasn't bad then, h-he only yelled!"

"Yeah, he yelled. And he electrocuted you. And left you in the rain,  that's where all these random colds are coming from. Not that bad is still bad, dad's aren't supposed to hurt you like that! I would've sorted him out way sooner if you told me!"

"You come up to the Prince's waist, Ichigo, I doubt you would've made a difference," Foomin knew it wasn't funny at a time like this, but imagining someone so tiny and bratty try to take on the freaking King was enough to bring out a grin. Infuriated, the strawberry-obsessed cousin turned to the tween with a look that questioned her decency.

"And you are?!"

"I got him to come to the castle again, so..."

"I hate you. And as for YOU," she pointed at the Prince with so much vigor it was enough to make him jump. "What about now? Is he still hurting you  when nobody's looking?"

"We can rough 'im up a bit if he is, mate, I always have that pitchfork place on speed-dial," Columbo chirped hopefully, reaching for a hairy pocket.

"If we all pack together I still think we can throw him down the stairs!" Havana punched the air with a shout.

"He's been...nice-ish lately, Ichigo," he bared a smile to the fuming cousin to ease her nerves, "He's not hitting me or anything like that, he's just being mean again."

"Dads aren't supposed to be like that either! They're supposed to smile and give hugs any time you ask for one, not when you finally do something of their standards! The King barely even hugs me, and I'm the cutest of them all!"

Once he saw Marcy look up with pure disfavors in mind, Macho thankfully tended to Ichigo before the girl ended up in a blinded rage...or before Marcy could round on her next, both were things that nobody wanted to see again eight times in one month. "Woah woah, Ichigo it's fine! He knows the King's an ass, he deals with him every day and he doesn't need you nailing that in. The Queen's had a talk with him a while ago, would he have come to make sure the decorations were good enough if he didn't take what she said to heart?"

Ichigo was quite scary at times if you somehow ended up on her bad side - lots of cousins either fixed their language to entirely yeses when she was nearby or run to safety if there was even the remotest feeling if they did something wrong. The weightlifter never felt so intimidated by someone the height of a cherry, with the girl having a stare bad enough to keep him in place. Would a smile help?

"Prince," oh thank god it was over, Macho gave a quiet sigh of relief as she looked at the Prince instead. "It's your call, do you want us to do anything to the King? Or is your mom doing a good enough job already?"

"Mama's got it all under control, I promise." the Prince begged with a look he knew Ichigo couldn't resist as he grabbed her hand. She groaned in disappointment with the less-than-desired answer, snatching her hand away.

"Alright, fine! But what's to stop him from doing it again, Prince? That's what I'm worried about, he's going right back to the way he used to be!"

"He's going in circles, she's right there," Foomin agreed with a swirl of the finger, "Isn't this exactly what he used to do before the stairs thing happened? The Queen wasn't enough to stop him from talking out of line the first time, so will she really make that much of a difference now? Nah. So that's why he has to push back, even if he could-"

"Snap. He could snap?! You didn't think to mention any of that earlier?!"

"Well sorry,Dipp, but I was focusing on positives since they were like, way higher. Yes, okay? He could snap, it doesn't feel like he's too far away from doing so. But I don't think that should be too big of a worry either, right? Macho and I already agreed that we'd handle things if he hurts the Prince again. Ya know, physically." 

"W-we did? Again??" Macho perked up nervously when said agreement only drew a blank in his mind, but he quickly got the message once Foomin sent him a look. "Oh yeah, we did! Don't worry, little guy, we got your back. Foomin, uh, what plan did you think of now?"

"A brilliant one, of course," she beamed at the question right when she was going to forget to explain it, abandoning her spot next to the Prince to be near Macho. "So check it, we just got all of our secrets outta the way and whatever and just like that," she snapped her fingers, "I thought of a way to get the King to pipe down...hopefully. The King only picks on the Prince so much because, surprise, he's a king. And kings loveeee um...I don't know the exact word for it, but power? Yes, power, and the power he has over Princey is his fear."

"Uh-huh, so if I act all mean like I've been doing and pretend im not scared anymore, he'll see that he's just wasting his time and come back around...I think that's what she said," the Prince finished for her, sounding just as proud as she was to make her more confident.

"Mmm-hmm," of course Odeko had to say something, Foomin saw it coming from a mile away. With sickeningly sweet fluttering eyelashes she peered in the vain cousin's direction. "How much is Foomin paying you to audibly agree?"

"Shut up, Odeko, I don't see you trying to think of something!"

"I have actually, genius. Something that won't have him down those stairs again."

"AH my feelings!" she gasped sharply as she grabbed her chest, "What, you're gonna make them talk it out over a cup of coffee? Like that's gonna leave a mark."

"It worked the first time!"

"Obviously it didn't work well enough if he's talking to the Prince like he's nothing again!"

"Foomin knows what she's doing," the Prince frowned at Foomin's defense, only irking Odeko more than he ever envisioned. "And if something bad does happen, who's scarier than her and Macho?"

"Prince, your majesty, please! You have better sense than this, I know you do! Foomin? You're going along with her?"

"At least my idea's helping him stand up for himself!"

"That pathetic justification of an idea will have him gone before he's seven!"

"Mines?!"

"Mines isn't a word."

"Mines is the best shot he has getting through to him, what right does the King have getting all pissy because the Prince is mad? He has a right to be mad, I'd be mad and his parents act like it's punishable!"

"Prince - and I'm asking HIM only," he snapped at Foomin, "Did you ever tell her why you're upset with him? Does she know what went down before?"

"Mmm...I don't think so?" 

"The King told him why he is the way he is, Foomin, and he gave the poorest explanation he could think of.  That's  why his majesty is angry...or that's most of the reason. A simple case of misscommunication that can be resolved by having the two speak again, see? Do you think forcing him to act out is going to solve his issues any better than my solution would?"

Odeko got her to simmer down and think for once in her life instead of being the Prince's voice. She keep her eyes on the carpeted ground for a while as she thought things over. And her answer? "Yeah, I know his excuse...don't ask how. And it's stupid, and it's something to get mad over. Are you gonna make him say sorry again like it's actually gonna mean anything? Is he gonna see the error of his ways and turn over a new leaf for a week and a half until the Prince does something he doesn't like? How many chances was he given to clean up his act, anyways...like,two? I'd rather have him stand his ground now than let this cycle go on forever."

"You have an ideal future for him! What a consolation. This will be the last time we'll ever have to speak about it, I can vow that much," he prayed such a phrase wouldn't be brought back up in the future if everything ended up failing after all, because knowing Foomin she'd be sure to make him pay for it with cash only. "And on the infinitesimal circumstance that things don't turn out to be as optimistic as I ensured, then the Prince can do whatever it is you want him to do, I've always believed that you'd be a remarkable puppeteer. How about it, Prince? I know you're still resentful, but at least hear the rest of the story before you decide to do something."

The royal looked up at Foomin to see if she was on the same page, only to be met with a defeated and coveted shrug. "Okay. The last one, alright? And you still have to be there."

Well wasn't that nice? Odeko fought through his prior frustrations with Foomin to give a light smile, it felt like it's been eons since he heard that request from him. "If you insist, sure. You're not busy tomorrow, presumably, are you alright with doing it sometime then?"

"He can't," Dipp spoke up, "Remember, Prince, the thing?"

"The thing...OH, that thing, I'm sorry," it clicked, yet Dipp was surprised that it slipped his cousin's memory at all. Wasn't their playdate only a few hours ago? "That can be used as a last resort since I'm actually talking to him, yes? If Odeko and Foomin's thing goes wrong."

"Awe, you guys thought of a thing too, that's adorable. Share with the class," the magnet exhorted.

"We can't stop the King from saying the things he does, it's a part of nature unless Odeko's plan solves everything. But if that messes up and Foomin becomes the main reason why the King wants to hit him again, the Prince and I...moreso him than me, I think, but me being there technically makes it my idea too. He gets punched around only if the Prince makes a wonky katamari, so while it won't last forever he thought of a way to at least hold it off."

"I'll 'catch' a cold from Opeo and play sick for a month or two, simple as that. Opeo gets them all the time and it lasts for decades, and if that's believable this should be too," the duo were quite proud of themselves for figuring that they could finally one up the King, even if the results would be short-term.

"Faking for that long would be hard, wouldn't it?" June questioned with a tilted head, "I could...I mean, if I were to do it i doubt I could make it to an entire day. Sleeping everyday? Faking coughs everyday? Drinking soup everyday?"

"I'm wouldn't hold myself hostage in my house that long for real, silly, just for a day or two to make sure my father fell for it," he explained before pointing to Slip, "He's the closest thing I have to an identical twin, so for the days my father would come around to check on me and I'm not there, he'd be my replacement for a bit."

Bless their nonsensical hearts, Odeko couldn't find it in him to point out the problems this time around...it seems like he's spent all of his good arguments on Foomin. And besides, they mentioned that they'd only resort to it if worst comes to worst, and with him behind the best plan that's been presented today, what were the chances of that happening? "Sounds like something you'd think of, alright. POSITIVELY, I-I meant that positively," he quickly corrected himself at the Prince's offended look.

"Yeah, like a prank I'd pull on someone I hated, only I'd pretend to have some fatal disease and die. It's a classic," Foomin commended, blind to Shikao's quivering upon hearing the painfully familiar example. "If we've sorted all of this out, I can show you how to make ice cream now, your highness."

"Ice cream? Don't you think he's had enough sweets for a lifetime? He hasn't even had dinner yet!" Velvet wondered as the two began to take their leave, Foomin turning on her heel in vexation.

"I said we're gonna make it, not eat it, chill. You can hold off 'til dinner, can't you Prince?" she questioned the now disappointed Prince, who could only nod lest he wanted to be bombarded with Velvet's scolding.

"Then take the others with you," Odeko caught on to what Velvet had in mind, they wouldn't be able to get too far into their introspections with all of these juveniles around."Don't you think they'd like to know too? Be sweet and take Pu, Prince."

"But babies can't make ice cream, she'll just make a mess!"

"Prince."

More than disgruntled, the Prince held his arms out for Pu to fly into before hoisting the goofy slobbering unproportionate beast onto his hip. Velvet almost told him to put it back on the ground out of caution - the Prince had a bad habit of dropping babies whenever something abruptly caught his attention...but Foomin was the oldest out of them, surely she'd make sure the baby thing would be safe...oh, was it smirking? Did babies usually do that? How odd...

"Foomin was just joking, right?" Jungle asked Shikao, who would know her the best with how often they watched movies together. "She's a really good actor, and I know she's not all that bright, but she wasn't seriously considering going through with that, was she?"

"She meant it," Odeko answered instead with a breath of exhaustion as he crossed his arms, with the tv-shaped cousin near him giving a reluctant nod. "Of course, she meant it, when's the last time any of you heard her defend an idea so hard? And in such an unnaturally controlling way at that? All this stuff regarding the Prince and she barely lets the boy talk!"

"Nah, she doesn't mean to be so pushy," Shikao differed kindly, going about this like it was a defense he constantly had to bring up. "She just likes having someone to look after, that's all! Seeing him or Dipp or June, anyone that little get hurt like that gets her all worked up. Her plan was dumb... please don't tell her I said that... but there were pure intentions, y'know?"

"I think it's sweet, at least they know that they always have somebody to talk to," the pink catapillar shaped one awwed with a bright smile, "Plus, it's loads better than when she used to bully everyone. Now she saves all of her hate crimes for Ace!"

Pluh-ease, there were other, more reliable individuals his younger cousins could go to with their thoughts other than Foomin...others who wouldn't think of a downright hazardous way to fix their problems. Was the Queen not a good enough alternative? Or Odeko himself? Nowadays He thought that he was the perfect person to go to for any troubling ideas that entered the mind, he didn't have that fresh and authentic therapist license on his wall for no reason. It was just the paying attention part that was the hardest, but can you really tell when you're talking?

"What's the plan, mate?" Columbo wondered, "Same thing as last time, isn't it? You're gonna let the lad finish his story and hope for the best?"

"There's no hoping, simple minded Columbo," was that doubt? A sprinkle of distrust?! If it's because the first meeting only led to the Prince going into his rage era, fine, raise a brow or two...that didn't mean it was entirely Odeko's responsibility, it was the silly King that couldn't get his words right! "It'll work, the percentages simply never lie! After tonight I suspect that the Prince will be less malicious to his father, and vise versa for the King. It's quite bittersweet, the past few breakfasts and dinners have been the best things to witness firsthand."

"For the Prince’s sake, it better work," Velvet didn't sound all that confident in him either...with skin as thick as his, such attitude only left a mere scratch....he still thought he'd at least have her on his side. "I mean it, Odeko, I don't want him or anybody getting hurt. "

"Yes, yes! All of this time being wasted for doubt, I assure all of you that nobody will get harmed as a result. Not a scratch, not a pinch, not a tear. Good?"

That settled it - completely down with it or not, there were lots of mumbles forming the exact same answer, all the conformation he wanted. He'd show them, alright, all of them! He'd see their faces of shock once they saw the Prince go right back to his sweet...sweetish and polite self, and maybe then he'd get an ounce of respect too. 

Chapter Text

Hiiii hello miss author here. I know it's been a few hours since the last update very sorry for that I'll have one by sometime ever god strike me down if I don't🙏

BUT but but as of 15 seconds ago I've been feeling very thankful and instead of waiting until Thanksgiving to do all that shit like a loser I was sitting on the toilet thinking "Why golly why don't I do that right now???"

Anyways yeah everyone at home!!!! live audience. thank you very much it was very nice of you to give kudos and hits and whatever and the comments have inspired me to pick this back up at last can y'all believe that???

it feels very weird to look at the hits thing and see that wow it's in the thousands. why? no clue but thank you guys anyways.

I don't know when the next chapter will be bc believe it or not 11th grade is very draining even if it's only been a week. i might be able to get work done on breaks but I have no idea when that's coming up so don't piss your britches.

I will however write oneshots for whatever cousins I feel like doing (you can request creatures too just not the naked one), and for that I can get that out on the weekend. Probably.

I am working on the next chapter of this it's super cool the king talks about mac and cheese for a while. 

So yeah that's all really just a small word of gratitude for you all, thank you for reading :)