Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Waverly clicked on the notifications button of her facebook account and was surprised to find a friend request from a person whose name she did not recognize.

Marjorie Cantrell has sent you a friend request

Normally she would just delete such a request when she didn't recognize the name but something about this person's profile picture made her hesitate. She clicked on the picture to get a better look and her jaw dropped.

“Holy shitballs,” she whispered as she looked at the picture of Marjorie hugging a man that Waverly was sure was Michael Haught, Nicole’s father. She contemplated her next move for a moment. The right thing to do would be to talk to Nicole before accepting or declining the request but she had a strong idea she knew what Nicole would say. Nicole would most likely tell her to decline the request because…”fuck him.” She would be right of course, fuck him for sure but something inside her was curious. Who was this woman to him? Obviously a love interest but how close and for how long? It must be serious if she even knew to look for them on facebook. She must know something about their family construct if she knew to search for Waverly since Nicole didn't have any personal social media accounts. Even Waverly’s account was under a fake name at Nicole’s insistence for safety purposes. “A.P. Love,” was the name she used for her facebook and instagram accounts, the AP stood for Angel Pants of course and Wynonna had insisted she use it. Even with the fake name it wouldn't take much investigating to figure out who she was. She was active on the Purgatory Sheriff’s Department site and the Purgatory School Board site and her picture was a selfie of her and Nicole by a lake they hiked to years ago. Anyone searching to find Nicole would easily find Waverly.

Out of a sense of intense curiosity Waverly clicked on Marjorie’s profile and was disappointed to see it was private. No surprise really, so was hers. She shook her head at the thought of both she and Marjorie clicking on each other's profile and sighing in disappointment at the sight of the words, This account is private.

What harm could it do to just check it out? She thought as she impulsively pressed the accept button and then immediately regretted it. It was the wrong thing to do and she knew it from the moment she saw the request but it was done now, no sense dwelling on it. If things got weird she could always unfriend her.

Waverly visited Marjorie’s facebook page for almost thirty minutes. She saw that it was indeed Michael Haught in the picture and that they were married about two years ago. Marjorie was a widow with three children, two girls and a boy (what a coincidence) until she met Michael at a 5k run/walk for Brain Cancer which is how her husband died and apparently how Nicole’s mom died.

It was a lot to digest. Michael’s family was much different than anything Nicole knew and, from what Waverly could see, Marjorie was a kind and loving person who was obviously interested in learning what she could about her husband's estranged daughter and her family.

When she heard the familiar sound of Nicole’s cruiser pulling into the lot she frantically closed her facebook page and slammed her computer shut. A flash of guilt washed over her and she decided she would tell Nicole all about it first thing …tomorrow.

Tomorrow came and went with no discussion of Marjorie. There simply hadn't been a good time to bring it up. In the meantime, Marjorie was clearly checking out Waverly’s page and soon after Waverly accepted her friend request Marjorie Cantrell began liking posts.

The first like was a picture of Gus and Alice in their Hockey uniforms on the ice looking into the camera with their best game faces on. The post read, “Ready for the draft.”

Then, “The Haughts take flight.” That was a picture of the whole family in a hot air balloon as it appeared in the Purgatory Gazette. The by line read, “Sheriff Haught and her family (pictured here left to right) wife Waverly, son Gus and twin daughters Kate and Wynonna took a special trip over Purgatory during the county fair last week.”

Another was a picture Waverly had taken of Nicole relaxing on the hammock on their porch. She had one arm over her head and was looking into the camera with a casual half smile that seemed to make her dimple pop right off the page. She looked absolutely beautiful and Waverly couldn't help herself. “My beautiful bride is enjoying some well deserved R&R. 😍💘”

Marjorie liked just about every picture Waverly ever posted including every new one. Waverly herself refrained from liking any of Marjorie’s posts, she preferred the role of silent stalker for now.

Then, about a month later, long enough that Waverly had almost forgotten about Marjorie and her husband Michael, IT happened. Waverly received a notification that Marjorie Cantrell sent her a message.

Fudgenuggets! she thought as she slammed her computer shut. Nope, not gonna deal with that now.

A busy life saw to it that Waverly didn't have time to address the message for three days. The tiny number one that was ever present attached to her messenger app weighed on her mind for the entire time but she knew she needed to give herself time alone to read it and between practices and work commitments that time hadn't presented itself until this very moment. Waverly took in a deep, nervous breath and opened the message.

Hello Waverly,

I have been desperately trying to work up the nerve to contact you. Even as I sit here typing I have to admit to my shaking hands and nervous thoughts. I guess I should start by introducing myself. I am Marjorie Haught. I married Michael Haught two years and four months ago. As you have probably already surmised, Michael is Nicole’s father. I am aware that he was not a good father to her, he has talked to me at length about his failings in that category and I completely understand if you choose to delete this message. If I never hear back from you I will leave you all alone and never mention anything to Michael about this message. No pressure, no strings.

I have thoroughly enjoyed the pictures of your beautiful family. You should know that I have shared them with Michael and he cried with love and joy at the way his daughter’s life has turned out despite his lack of involvement in it. We have spent countless hours enjoying the snippets of your lives. Your children are beautiful and clearly adored. Thank you for allowing us that pleasure and again, if it is all you can give I understand but I would be lying if I said it was all we hoped for.

Michael has been through a great deal in his life. By his own admission he was not a good man. Not a good husband or father and he has much to regret. When I met him he was completely alone and completely broken. I can’t say for sure what drew me to him. He is handsome for sure and that certainly helped but he was so closed down. There were days that I felt like he was a lost cause, those days I thought to end it and one day I did. I told him I wasn’t sure I had enough left in me after the loss of my first husband to be with someone so shut off, so full of self-loathing. I guess that was enough for him. A month later I received a letter in the mail. It was the most open and romantic gesture I ever received from anyone. He spoke about starting therapy and how it was helping him come to terms with himself and his actions both past and present. He admitted how important I had become to him and how very much he dreamed of one day reaching out to his daughter and begging for her forgiveness. There was still a lot to work on…is still a lot to work on but he is putting in the effort. He still sees a therapist and I can say unequivocally that he is a changed man. I tell you this because I am aware that for him to even have a chance at re-entering his daughters life it will require your approval and your assistance.

I would not ask if I did not believe that Michael loves Nicole. He may have not shown it when he could have, when he should have but he does. With all of his heart. It is my hope that you would reach out to me and that we could talk about possibly starting the long journey to forgiveness and reconciliation. As mentioned, I have not mentioned this message to Michael. I am aware that it may be an emotional journey that neither you nor Nicole is at all interested in embarking upon and though I would understand I know it would break Michael’s heart and I would prefer to let him go on thinking there would someday be a chance even if I know there isn’t.

Despite never having met Nicole I feel like I know a bit about her through Michael and now through your social media posts. She seems every bit as amazing as Michael describes so I know you must be equally as special for Nicole to have fallen so deeply in love with you. It would be an honor to get to know you both but if it never happens please know that you are all loved from afar and will always have a place in our lives if anything should change.

Thank you for your time,

Marj

Waverly read the message three times. She knew her next move was critical. Any real contact with this woman without Nicole’s knowledge would be wrong. It was one thing to casually peruse her facebook page but another thing completely to engage in a secret plot to reunite Nicole with her father. She knew the extreme emotional response Nicole always had to the mention of her father and Waverly knew a thing or two about abusive fathers. Enough to know this was not a decision she could make on behalf of her wife. It would have to be something they agreed upon together and the final decision would be Nicole’s to make. She thought of Ward Earp. Ward had been a drunk and in addition to the emotional abuse he levied upon his family he was also physically abusive but abuse is abuse. The physical violence made her situation more dangerous but not more impactful, not more significant. She searched her own heart as she asked important questions of herself. What would she want for herself and her family if he were still alive and wanted to re-enter her life? Would she trust him with her heart? Would she trust him with her family?

She pressed the reply button and stared at the blinking cursor for a moment.

Marjorie,

Thank you for reaching out to me and for your kind sentiments. I agree, my family is beautiful and my wife is amazing. I am sure you will understand that I feel like I cannot engage in any further communication with you until I speak to Nicole. It would be duplicitous and wrong. I will show her your message and allow her to decide for herself if she wants to welcome Michael back into her life and into our family’s lives.

Sincerely,

Waverly

Waverly waited until Friday night to speak to Nicole about Marjorie and her request. She wanted to be sure they would be able to talk openly and at length without the worry of work the next day. She sat with her back against their headboard and her computer open in her lap as Nicole settled in next to her.

“Sweetie, we need to talk but before we do I want you to know I love you and I support any decision you make…ok?”

“Ok…but now I’m terrified to hear what we need to talk about. Are you ok? You aren’t…sick or something.”

“No, it’s nothing like that. I think it’s best if…here…”

Waverly hands her computer over to Nicole with the message from Marjorie opened on the screen, “read.”

Nicole takes the computer with a confused look on her face that transforms almost immediately to a look of confusion mixed with anger. For a moment she looks as though she is going to just stop reading and push the computer back into Waverly’s lap but she doesn’t. Waverly can see the moment her wife actively wills herself to read on. She clearly finishes the message and looks up from the screen into Waverly’s eyes. There is something there that makes Waverly’s heart ache for her wife. Nicole blinks hard a few times then looks back at the computer, clearly rereading the message. She scrolls further this time and Waverly can see she is reading her reply to Marjorie. Without a word Nicole closes the computer, hands it to Waverly and leans forward until her elbows are resting on her knees. She runs her hands through her hair, a gesture Waverly recognizes immediately. Nicole was upset and struggling to find a way to articulate her feelings. Waverly places her computer on her nightstand and moves close to Nicole pulling her body into her own.

“I know this is a shock and that you are probably feeling confused and…”

“Confused? You got that right. I’m confused for sure. Confused as to how it is that you felt like it would be ok to invite these people into our lives. You know how I feel about that man. How could you think it would be ok to let them…let him into our lives?” she says as she pulls out of Waverly’s embrace.

“First of all, I didn't invite them in. She sent me a friend request…”

“When? How long ago Waverly? How long have they been able to see me and my family without my permission?”

“About a month ago.”

“A month? You have kept this from me for a fucking month?” Nicole breaks free of the last bit of hold Waverly had on her and gets up from their bed. She is red with anger but her eyes betray her conveying her predominant emotion, Nicole is hurt. Hurt by the idea that Waverly still could not understand the emotional beating she took at the hands of her parents.

“I haven’t…I accepted the friend request about a month ago but this is the first communication I have had. This came only two days ago. I wanted to wait until we could talk. I never meant to hurt you…I…”

“Well, you have. This hurts more than…” Nicole’s voice breaks and takes Waverly’s heart along with it, “...I think I need to go.” Nicole says as she crosses the room, opens her dresser drawer and removes a pair of jeans.

“What? Go? Go where? Nicole please, can we talk about this. I’m sorry, I know it was wrong to not tell you about the request. To not tell you I had accepted it but I didn’t see the harm in it and I was curious about it all…about him.”

“You didn't see the harm because it wasn’t you in harms way Waverly. You of all people should have seen the harm in this. Just because he never touched me or my Mom doesn't mean it hurt any less. Sometimes I wish he had touched me…at least that would have had an emotional edge to it. I got…nothing. No touch, no feeling, no emotion and no love…not ever.”

“That is so unfair Nicole. I have never made light of what you went through as a child. I have never compared it to mine or viewed it as anything less. I admit I was wrong to not tell you right away. I should have and I should not have accepted the friend request without asking you first. I know that and I really did almost just hit decline but then I thought of your Mother’s death. Despite everything she did to you you wanted to run to her in her final hours. I know you did, I could hear you crying that night. Yes, I knew if I asked you you would say no without thinking and I guess a part of me thought I could spare you that feeling someday. Spare you the regret of not ever seeing him again until it was too late. When she reached out to me I knew I couldn't continue without telling you. If you need to leave, to go somewhere and think I guess I can understand, although I wish you wouldn’t. Running has never been your style, you’ve been the only one in my life that has never run, it’s part of why I love you so much. Just promise me that wherever you go, be it back in this bed or not, you will think about the way you felt when your mother passed and perhaps consider the fact that people can change, they can grow and learn and become better people. And, most of all, promise me you will come back.” The last part nearly gets cut off as Waverly breaks down.

Nicole fights her initial reaction which is, of course, to go to Waverly and hold her. Instead, she quietly returns her jeans to the drawer. She turns and looks to Waverly and the sight of her wife upset and alone in their bed breaks her resolve.

“I’m going downstairs to get a glass of water. Do you want anything?”

“No thanks.” Waverly responds through tears.

Once downstairs Nicole allows herself a moment to really think. She can see the words on Waverly’s computer as clear as day in her mind. Words like, “Michael loves Nicole,” play on repeat and she finds herself softening for a hot minute. What if that’s true? Does she love him back? It’s a silly question really. If she didn't love him it wouldn’t have hurt so much to believe he didn’t love her.

A glance at the clock indicated it was nearly one in the morning and she yawned audibly. She was exhausted by the end of a long week and by the news of her father’s desire to get to know her but mostly by the thought of Waverly alone and upset in their bed. At the present moment there was only one part of the entire scenario that she could control, that she could make better and she was no longer willing to fight against her desire to return to her wife and just touch her so she put her empty glass in the sink and made her way back upstairs.

Waverly was lying on her back still crying, waiting for Nicole when she returned. They were both too tired to continue their conversation so Nicole just silently slid into bed next to her. Without a word she reached out and took Waverly’s hand in hers. She heard Waverly sigh in relief and felt herself relax. Waverly pulled their intertwined hands onto her chest and held on tight as they drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Text

A week would pass with no further discussion of Michael or Marjorie Haught. Nicole said nothing because as far as she was concerned there was nothing to say. With each passing day she felt more and more comfortable with the status quo. She didn't need Michael before, she doesn’t need him now and she was perfectly fine with that.

Waverly avoided the topic because she knew she made a mistake in the way she handled the situation so far and she had no idea how to make any of it right. She hadn’t sent any more messages or even checked Marjorie’s page since her argument with Nicole. She hadn’t unfriended Marjorie either but she would if Nicole asked her to, she thought it was interesting that Nicole hadn’t done so yet.

Waverly smiled at her brother in law as she entered the familiar darkness of Shorty’s. He was standing behind the bar, holding a clipboard and scowling. John Henry Earp Holliday delighted in the social aspect of owning the local watering hole. He loved the citizens of Purgatory and reveled in his interactions with them but this part of the job he despised. When he looked up at Waverly a large smile crept across his face.

“Good morning Waverly,” Doc said as he placed the clipboard down and motioned to a seat at the bar, “can I interest you in a cup of tea?”

“That sounds great…Thanks!”

Doc bought himself a fairly fancy coffee machine for the bar after he returned from the Garden. He found himself needing a caffeine boost now and again to keep up with his schedule of late nights and early mornings. It had been many years, hundreds of them really, since he felt the exhaustion that came with being all human. When he had his ring and then again when he was a vampire he was spared much of the limits of a human body. Mostly he was ok with his current state but occasionally he missed the feeling of…not feeling. So he let himself rely on some very human aids when needed such as painkillers, cold medicines and yes, caffeine. He was no barista but he could make a fairly mean espresso shot. He began the process of making himself a coffee and then turned on the electric kettle to make Waverly’s tea.

He passed the tea and an envelope across the bar then leaned against it as he sipped his drink.

“Thanks Doc and thanks for the support.” Waverly said as she sipped her tea and held up the envelope.

“My pleasure…Shorty’s is proud to sponsor the Junior Blue Devils.” Gus and Alice both played for the Blue Devils so it was a no-brainer that Shorty’s would be a sponsor but it was still a kind and fairly expensive gesture.

Waverly put the envelope carefully into her bag and returned to her tea. “Wait until you see the new uniforms. They are pretty cool. The kids are going to love them. Personally, I can’t wait to burn the old ones. Lord do they stink…no matter what I wash it in. Nicole says that’s the way Hockey players are supposed to smell but…ick, I’m not looking forward to another 20 years of that. I can’t even imagine what a teenager’s Hockey gear is going to smell like.”

Doc nodded in agreement and they both laughed. “Indeed… my daughter’s hockey gear has a special storage place…outside. Wynonna and I secretly hope Alice decides to stick with soccer but whatever she chooses I will make it my mission to be there to see it, to support her in everything she does.”

“You, John Henry, are a good Daddy. I’m so happy for Alice that she has you. So different from what Wynonna and I had.”

“And what Nicole had…” Doc adds.

“Yeah, of course. Nicole too.”

“Thank you Waverly, that means the world to me. I have to admit, I surprised even myself when I took to this fatherhood thing. I was worried I would be unsuitable for the job. I guess I’m just thankful for the opportunity.”

Waverly looks sadly down at her tea, “Yeah, I get that. I’ve been thinking about Nicole and her Da…her…Michael.”

“She still doesn’t want anything to do with him?”

“No…I mean, I guess not. She hasn’t spoken of it since the night I told her. I don’t know what to do exactly. It’s not for me to decide and I don’t know if I should try to talk to her about it again or just leave her be. I just don’t want her to have regrets someday.”

Doc leaves his place on the business side of the bar and sits next to Waverly. “Waverly, I think it is time for me to tell you a bit about your great, great grandaddy. You see, there is the popular version…husband, law man, some would even say hero and then there is the version I saw. Wyatt Earp was a scoundrel. Domestic life did not suit him and he was a lousy and unfaithful husband. He slept around often and with many women of ‘ill repute’. He was a hypocritical asshole who condemned many men, including yours truly, for sins he committed on the daily. He was all of those things but still people were drawn to him, still they loved him, myself included.”

He paused and pushed aside his coffee cup as he stood and leaned over the bar to retrieve a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. He poured himself a drink and offered a glass to Waverly. She waved the offer away and Doc just nodded and put the bottle down. “Some stories require a drink to tell Waverly, that is a historical fact.”

Waverly just smiled, “No judgment here John Henry, what happens in Shorty’s stays in Shorty’s.”

“Yes, I guess that is true.” Doc takes a swig of his drink and winces slightly as the brown liquid warms his belly and gives him the strength to continue his story.

“I was there the day the curse was placed on Wyatt’s kin. It also just happened to be the same day, same moment, he found out he had a child. Wyatt laughed in Clootie’s face when he put his curse on him. He laughed and called him a fool. ‘It has been my true curse that I have no heir, no kin to carry on my bloodline.’ He was wrong, of course, and Clootie told him right then and there about his son Josiah born of a common whore in Arizona. The news shook Wyatt to his core. He had a child, a son and he became obsessed with finding him. He rode to Arizona the very next day. Asked me to join him, begged me to join him but I was sick and even if I hadn’t been I still would have said no. I was good with a gun…the best in the land but when it came to affairs of the heart…well, I was no good for anyone back then. Not to mention the bit of trouble I managed to get into the last time Wyatt and I rode into Arizona. So he set off alone and when he returned he was a changed man. He went on mission after mission to find out the details of the curse and what exactly it meant for his son and the generations to follow. He desperately wanted to be a part of his son’s life but he thought if he could keep him a secret, that if no one knew he was an Earp he might be safe. Sounds familiar doesn’t it? So he kept his distance. Somewhere in the middle of all this the Stone Witch offered me her deal and I was so, so sick Waverly. I tasted death every day. Saw evidence of it on my pillow every morning. I took that deal, I took it thinking maybe somehow it would give me time to help my friend. When Wyatt came to me upset because he learned that his son had been found out and was in danger I knew I had to go with him. I couldn't say no. Constance Clootie heard of my plan to accompany Wyatt so she paid me a visit early the next day. She threw me in that well because I would not listen to her when she said I couldn't leave the Triangle to help my best friend. The last thing I heard your great, great granddaddy speak of was his deep, dark regret over never having a real relationship with Josiah and he swore that if he ever got the chance he would be better. I believed him Waverly. I still believe that if he had been given a chance he would have done right by his child. I have no doubt that he died trying to earn that chance. I do not know the details of what followed. I know nothing of how Josiah learned of his heritage and I know nothing of Wyatt’s grandson Edwin. I don’t even know anything about Ward except that he was an asshole. What I do know, what I know for sure is that from the moment Wyatt found out he was a daddy he was a better man.”

Waverly picked up the bottle and poured herself a shot then topped off Doc’s. Doc let out a deep sigh that caused the hair of his mustache to blow outward in such a way that Waverly might have found it comical were it not for the seriousness of their conversation.

“Now, you may be wonderin’ why I have taken up so much of your time with my story of time gone by…I can only say that since the events of those days, long ago, I have learned a great deal about myself and about love and family and…fatherhood. I now know one thing to be absolute when it comes to being a father. It never goes away. It is with you always, on some level. Being a good Daddy has been my greatest accomplishment, my proudest moment. It is the title by which I define myself. When I watched Alice being taken away that day it filled me with such regret. It was damn near unbearable. I hated myself for letting her go even though I knew Wynonna was right. I knew our daughter would never be safe but I wanted her to stay anyway. I wanted her all to myself and I stayed up every night fearing I would never ever see her again or get the chance to love her. Being a bad father, not being in my daughter’s life was my greatest regret. I am not a religious man but I tell you that I prayed, I prayed every night that someday she would forgive me and welcome me into her life. I got lucky Waverly, my prayers were answered. I got my second chance. I don’t think Wyatt ever did. He died with that regret, hell, maybe that’s what killed him. I guess I’m telling you this because you have a chance to facilitate a second chance for someone. Michael Haught may have been a son of a bitch, he may not deserve his daughters love but maybe he deserves a chance to prove he does. A chance to do what’s right by his child. Just…maybe. You are correct when you say the choice is Nicole’s to make but I see no wrong in you encouraging her to give her father a chance. A man’s heart can change Waverly, it can be better, it just takes the right people to help it happen. Wynonna’s forgiveness was the greatest gift I ever got, it helped me be worthy of my daughters love. It brought my family to me and I am thankful for everyday I get to spend with them. Maybe I would just like to think other people can get their chance too.”

Waverly puts her hand lovingly onto Doc’s shoulder, “I’m glad you got your second chance Doc. I’m glad you are Wynonna’s husband and Alice’s Dad. I love you very much but I kind of think you may be the exception to the rule. I’m not even sure Ward would have wanted a second chance, no less done right by it. What if Michael fails again? What if he breaks Nicole’s heart? This time bringing the hearts of my children along with it. I’m not sure I have it in me to ask my wife to expose herself to that. I don’t want her to get hurt all over again.”

“If that happens you will be there for her. You will hold her and help her pick up the pieces. She knows that and it changes everything. Nicole’s heart is yours baby girl and you are the only one that can break it now. She knows you never would, we all know that. You can break her heart but you can also hold it together because she is yours and you are hers. If Michael fails her again it will hurt but not like before. Not like in the past because she has you and her children. She is surrounded by love that she knows is true. That will make all the difference.”

Waverly closes her eyes and takes in a deep breath as if she is inhaling the truth in Doc’s words. When she opens them she looks deep into Doc’s piercing blues, “How is it that you know so much John Henry?”

“I am nearly a century and a half years old, Waverly. Need I even mention the perspective that comes from being trapped in a well for a large portion of that time with nothing but your thoughts?” He replies with a laugh as he notices Waverly glance at her watch. “I have kept you long enough and I suspect I have about twenty missed calls waiting for me from your sister. I hope I haven’t overstepped today. I can safely say that whatever you decide to do will be correct because it will be made with Nicole’s best interest at heart.”

They both stand and Waverly wraps Doc up in a tight hug. “Thank you Doc, thank you for sharing all this with me.”

Once outside Waverly squinted in reaction to the bright sun. She and Doc had been talking for nearly two hours and she was now way behind in her list of things to do. The first thing she did was call her friend Chrissy.

“Hey Girl! Where the hell are you? I thought we were going to meet for lunch.”

“I know, I’m so sorry. I’m running way late. Any chance I could get a rain check?”

“I suppose I could be convinced to give you another chance…drinks on you…say next Thursday?”

“Oh you are so on! I could really use a drink with my bestie.”

They chatted for a few more minutes while Waverly drove through town to her next appointment and when she hung up she smiled, Chrissy was a great friend and she was thankful they found each other again when Chrissy returned to town. Life was all about getting the chance to make things right.

Waverly arrived at her final meeting of the day which just happened to be at the Library. She was surprised when she looked at her watch and saw that she was actually early. She decided she would make use of the time by allowing herself a few moments of rest in the garden behind the building. Her excitement for the opportunity dulled when she heard familiar sirens in the not too far off distance. A closer look revealed what she feared. It was her wife, in her cruiser, driving lights and sirens to yet another emergency.

Waverly had years of experience dealing with the wild spectrum of emotions that came with being the Sheriff’s wife, knowing every morning she left for work could be the last time she saw her alive. But seeing her in action, speeding towards danger hit harder. She said a silent prayer to whatever higher power might be listening that her wife would come home to her safe and sound. She watched until the car was out of view but she could still hear the sirens. The sight of the Ambulance several minutes later amplified her fear and by the time she looked down to her ringing phone and saw Wynonna was calling she thought for sure she was going to pass out or throw up or both.

“Where are you?” Wynonna blurted out the second the call connected.

“The Library. What’s…”

“Get to General…now.”

“What? Why? Wynonna is…”

“Alice fell at school, she cracked open her head. Nicole is headed to the school and they are taking her to General. She may need stitches. I have your daughters with me and I need you to meet me at the Hospital.”

Waverly took a deep breath in an effort to clear her spinning head. She was relieved her wife was ok but felt a fresh sense of worry for her niece.

“Yeah, of course. I’m on my way and Wynonna, you know Nicole will take care…”

“I know, it’s the only thing keeping me sane right now. Those two have something…if it has to be someone else with her right now your wife is my top pick. No offense.”

“No, none taken. They are definitely soft on each other. If anyone can make her feel better it’s Nicole. It’s going to be Ok. Please drive safely.”

“I promise Waves, these little humans of yours are safe. I wouldn’t risk a hair on their heads…not even the red head.”

Waverly shook her head, only her sister could find it in her to make a remark like that in a time like this. She laughed and replied, “I know and I trust you always. See you in a few minutes. I love you.”

Wynonna quickly returned the sentiment and the line went dead a moment later.

Nicole had no idea she had just driven by her wife. She was laser focused on the road in front of her. The cop in her wanted, no, needed to get to the scene as quickly as possible. She needed to see her niece and know she was ok, safe and ok. The Mom in her took her foot instinctively off the gas and slowed her speed when she was on school property. The last thing she wanted was to put other kids in danger. She shut off her lights and her siren so as not to scare anyone and parked in front of the door of the school that her niece and her son attended. She ran through the door and made her way directly to the nurses office. She had responded to other calls here and knew the terrain all too well. To this moment she never had to walk this route to get to one of her own kids and yes, Alice was hers as much as Gus and Wyn and Kate were. Nicole loved Alice with a passion she couldn't explain. Maybe it was her role in getting Alice to safety just after she was born. Whatever it was, they had a bond and she would do anything…whatever it took…to keep her safe and happy.

Alice looked up when Nicole burst through the door and a small, shaky smile came across her lips. She was holding a bloody bandage to her head. Her beautiful brown hair was caked with blood and there was blood on her clothes. Nicole fought mightily with a wave of nausea as she tried to remain calm at the sight.

“Sheriff Haught!” The Nurse exclaimed a tad too enthusiastically. Waverly always contended that the school nurse, Miss Scott, had a MAJOR crush on her but Nicole honestly never noticed it…until now.

“Miss Scott, Hi. I’m here for…” She motions to her niece, “Is Alice Ok?”

“Yeah, she is ok. I think she may have a concussion and she is definitely going to need stitches'' She said softly so Alice wouldn't hear.

Nicole nodded and went to Alice’s side. Her proximity broke Alice’s resolve and Alice began to cry into Nicole’s shoulder as they hugged.

“It’s ok Al. I’m here and your Mom is going to meet us at the Hospital.”

“Hospital? I don't want to go to the Hospital. Please Aunt Nic can’t you take care of me?”

“I’m afraid that’s a little out of my pay grade.”

“Huh?”

“I don’t think you want me helping you with this. A doctor is a much better option.”

“You helped me with the bee’s. Daddy says you saved my life. Can’t you just help me now? I don’t like the hospital.”

Nicole actually felt her heart ache in her chest. She would if she could, she would make Alice all better and see to it that she never, ever had to see the inside of a hospital again.

“I wish I could Al, with all of my heart I wish I could but I really do think it’s best if we go see a doctor. I promise I will stay with you the whole time and your Mom will be there when we get there.”

“Mommy will be there?”

“Yes, I promise.”

“Ok, will you go in the ambulance with me?”

“Of course, I wouldn’t have it any other way.” She picked Alice up in her arms and made her way out of the building to where the ambulance was just pulling up to the curb.

Waverly beat everyone to the Hospital. She used the time to actively work on calming herself down. She was seconds away from actually succeeding when she saw Wynonna pull into the lot and stop in front of the entrance. She got out of her car and ran towards Wynonna’s truck. She could tell her sister had been crying as she jumped out the truck.

“They aren’t here yet Wynonna.” Waverly said as she pulled her sister in for a hug.

“How do you know? Are you sure? I…did you talk to Nicole?”

“No, I can’t reach Nicole but I’ve been here for a good ten minutes and there has been no sign of the ambulance or Nicole’s cruiser.” She no sooner finished saying the words when they saw the ambulance coming down the road. They weren’t using their lights or their sirens and Waverly knew from what Nicole told her about first aid calls that meant the call wasn’t very serious.

The ambulance came to a stop just in front of Wynonna’s truck and when the doors opened they saw Nicole strapped to the stretcher holding Alice lovingly in her arms. Wynonna and Waverly both exhaled a sigh of relief when Nicole smiled at them.

“Hey, she’s ok.” Nicole said just as Alice saw her Mama and started on a fresh round of tears.

“Mama!” Alice called as she stretched out her arms to reach for Wynonna.

Nicole stood up and leaned out of the ambulance to hand Alice over to Wynonna who swept her daughter into her arms and followed the paramedic into the hospital.

Nicole and Waverly could hear Wynonna consoling her daughter as they disappeared beyond the doors. Waverly looked back to her wife and couldn't help but notice the blood on her collar and shoulder. Waverly shuddered. It wasn’t the first time Nicole had blood on her uniform. Sometimes it was hers, sometimes not but it always made Waverly’s stomach churn. She pushed the thought aside and moved forward to embrace her wife.

“Are you ok? I know that couldn't have been easy.”

“I am now. Now that you are here. It’s embarrassing how much better you make me feel.”

“Same Nicole, same.”

They stayed that way for a few minutes. Waverly broke away first and turned back to Wynonna’s truck to look in on the twins who were still sleeping in their seats.

“Wynonna was watching them for me while I ran some errands.”

“Shit, were you done? Do you need me to take them?”

“In what? You rode here in that thing.” Waverly giggled as she pointed to the ambulance.

“Right…Fuck. Well, I can…I don’t know…call a deputy to bring me my car and…”

“Nicole, baby, I love that you want to help but it’s ok. I canceled my last appointment and I can reschedule for next week. I just want to get them home. I kind of want to spend some time with them now. You know? I think I might even go pick up Gus early from school. If he hears about Alice it will probably upset him.”

“You are so right, he loves his cousin and if he thinks she is hurt it will worry his little heart. God Waves, you are so…you always think of everyone. I…WE are so lucky to have you. I love you so much.”

“I love you too. Maybe you could come home early tonight? How good does some family snuggling sound?”

“That sounds like Heaven. I will make it happen. Once I get my car that is.”

They both laugh as they grab the girls and transplant them into Waverly’s car. Waverly stopped before she got into the driver's seat. She grabbed Nicole by her blood soaked collar and planted a deep kiss onto her lips.

“That’s a promise for what's to come once the kids are in bed tonight.” She says seductively and then lowers herself into the driver’s seat. She winks at Nicole before she drives off leaving a flushed Nicole standing in the middle of the hospital parking lot.

When the last bit of Waverly’s kiss faded Nicole’s thoughts returned to Alice so she made her way inside the hospital to the small, private room toward the back of the ER. She knew this room. It was the same room she and Waverly were moved to when they lost their baby. She hesitated for just a moment before entering. Only Alice could get her to ever come into this room again.

“Hey you two. How’s it going?” Nicole asked.

“The Doctor just left. She said she wants to get a CAT Scan of her head just to be safe and that they are calling in a plastic surgery consultation because she will need stitches and since it’s on her face they want to reduce scarring.”

“Oh…yeah, that’s smart.”

“Yeah, I thought so until your niece put in her two cents. Tell your Aunt Nicole what you said to the Doctor Alice.” Wynonna was clearly holding back a laugh while she looked at Nicole and waited for Alice to repeat what she said.

“I just said it was ok if it leaves a scar cause my Aunt Waverly always says chicks dig scars when she talks about yours.”

Nicole can’t help herself as she starts to laugh, “That is very true Alice.”

“Nice…see what kind of influence my sister has on my daughter? Next she’ll have her falling in love with gingers. I may have to have a serious talk with her.”

Nicole and Wynonna laughed for a few moments and when things quieted again Alice broke the silence with a question that had been burning in her mind since the doctor left earlier.

“Aunt Nicole…do stitches hurt?”

“Hmmmm…I would love to tell you no but I don’t want to lie to you Alice. It’s not so much the stitches that hurt but…before you get them you get a little medicine, a shot, that makes the stitches not hurt. The shot hurts a little bit. You feel a little pinch and then a bit of a burn but once that’s done it doesn’t hurt anymore and I promise it’s only a few seconds of hurting.”

Alice’s eyes filled with tears again but she fought them off. She sat up straight and looked at Wynonna.

“Mama, will you hold my hand while they do it? I promise to be brave but I would like you to be with me and hold my hand.”

Wynonna tried to answer but her voice broke with emotion. She took a breath and pulled a smile out of nowhere. “Of course baby girl. I will do you one better…” She took Alice’s hand in hers and kissed it before proceeding, “I will hold your hand anytime you want me to, anytime you need me to… now, then and always and forever. I love you Alice Michelle. I love you so, so much.”

Alice smiled softly and fell into her mother’s arms and allowed herself to relax. She drifted off to sleep to the sound of her mother and her aunt talking. She had been sleeping for about ten minutes when a tall, thin man came into the room.

“Hi, I’m Travis from Radiology. I’m here to take Alice for her scan.”

Alice grumpily complied when Wynonna told her it was ok to go with Travis. “I will be right here when you get back, I promise.”

Wynonna stood in the doorway and watched as the stretcher with her daughter on it disappeared down the hallway. She wrapped her arms across her chest and started sobbing. Nicole reacted immediately and moved to Wynonna’s side. Not knowing exactly what to do for her friend she placed her hand lovingly on Wynonna’s shoulder. She was surprised when Wynonna turned and threw herself into Nicole’s arms. They leaned deep into each other.

“Nicole that…that tiny, fucking human is just…she’s everything. She’s everything. I think about her every minute of every day. I think about the moment she was born and how in the very next moment I was handing her to Waverly. I thought I would never see her ever again or even worse, that I would finally get to see her and she would hate me. She would hate me for sending her away and she would tell me she didn't want anything to do with me…not ever. My greatest fear was that sending her away would be the biggest mistake of my life and that she would never forgive me for it. That day, when Doc and I walked into Gus’s house she…she just came to me. Right to me, like she knew me, like we were never, ever apart.” Wynonna pulled away and wiped her face. “Fuck, it was like…you know that part in the The Grinch when they show the actual picture of his heart growing? It was just like that. My heart…Nicole, my heart always had all these holes. One for Daddy, one for Mama…Willa, even one for Waverly. That day, when I really held my daughter, when I knew I would never have to leave her again…that day all those holes filled up. My heart was whole again. I don’t think she will ever really know how much her instant love, her instant forgiveness in that moment changed my life. How much it changed ME. It has made all the difference. She is the most precious thing in the world. She’s my child. I pray everyday that I can be a person who deserves her.”

Nicole stood and listened. She listened with the ears of a sister, a best friend, a mother and…a daughter. She was a daughter to flawed parents. A daughter to a father that was asking for a chance to make things right. She couldn't help but wonder…what if Michael…what if her father’s heart was full of holes too? What if her forgiveness could bring him the same peace Alice’s brought to Wynonna?

“Wynonna, you absolutely deserve her. Her forgiveness, her love…every bit of it. You did what you had to do to keep her safe. It was the bravest, strongest, most loving act I’ve ever witnessed. You said she forgave you instantly, what a wonderful gift. Maybe we all deserve some forgiveness. Maybe we all deserve the gift of a second chance. So now it’s your turn…forgive yourself Wynonna. Forgive yourself and let yourself believe that you deserve her and she deserves you.”

Wynonna shook her head as if she was struggling to believe what Nicole was telling her as she continued to wipe tears from her face.

“Thank you Nicole for saying that and thank you for the part you played in getting Alice to safety and for the role you continue to play in her life. My two favorite people in this whole world love the shit out of you and the truth is…I couldn’t be happier. You are a good person Nicole Haught and I’m thankful for you and I love…”

The sound of Alice’s voice filled both their ears as she was returning to the room. Wynonna stopped mid thought and turned her attention to the door as the stretcher wheeled back into the room. About a half an hour later the plastic surgeon came in. Alice was very brave and only cried a little while she got twelve stitches just above her left eye. Her mom and her aunt both held her hand through every minute of it.

Wynonna and Alice dropped Nicole off at her car and before Nicole got out of the truck she turned to Wynonna and whispered, “I love you too Wynonna.” She winked as she opened the door and jumped out before Wynonna could say another word.

Hours later, after their kids were sleeping, Waverly remained true to the promise she sealed with a kiss outside the hospital. They made love and when they were done they laid in each other's arms blissfully exhausted. Waverly could tell by the repetitive way Nicole’s hands stroked her arm that something was up. She lifted her head off of Nicole’s chest and,even in the dark room, could tell she was staring blankly up at the ceiling. Waverly propped herself up on her elbow.

“Hey you…are you ok?”

“Huh?”

“Nicole, are you ok? Did something happen at the hospital? Something you aren’t telling me? Is Alice really ok?”

“What? No…I mean…yes, Alice is fine. Nothing happened. It’s just, Wynonna was telling me about how thankful she is that Alice forgave her. That she got a second chance with her.”

“Oh, and maybe you know someone else who asked for a second chance? Someone who asked for a chance at forgiveness?

Nicole rolled her eyes. It would appear that once again her wife knew what she was thinking before even she did.

“Do you think maybe you could reach out to Marjorie for me? Maybe I could talk to Michael…give him a chance to explain.”

Waverly smiles her goofiest smile. “I think this is a good thing Nicole, I really do. If he turns out to be the shit you think he is, the shit he was, we will just delete him from our lives and I will be here for you through it all.”

“I know you will. That's the only thing that gives me enough strength to even try. But there has to be rules, Waves, and I want to see him alone first.”

Chapter Text

Nicole gave Waverly a very specific list of rules for any and all future interactions with Michael and Marjorie Haught. Never, under any circumstance was Waverly to give them their phone number or address. The last thing Nicole wanted was a surprise phone call or, even worse, a drop in visit. She was not to phone or meet either of them without Nicole present and Nicole wanted to speak with Michael herself, just the two of them, somewhere outside of Purgatory. Lastly (and most importantly) their children were to be kept out of the entire situation until they both decided it was safe to involve them.

Waverly went so far as to write the rules down so she wouldn’t forget or step out of bounds. She was cautiously optimistic about the whole thing but she was also keenly aware that her wife was putting herself in a precarious position and she wanted to make sure it went exactly as Nicole needed it to.

Marjorie,

Hello, I apologize for the delay in writing this. I wanted to give Nicole all the time and space she needed to think about what she wants out of all of this. I can tell you that she has already run through a large gambit of emotions regarding Michael and your request. Nicole is the kindest, most generous, loving and beautiful human being I have ever met and, as such, it is no surprise that she has decided to give Michael a chance at forgiveness. She asked me to inform you that she would be interested in hearing what your husband has to say but she wants to meet with him alone first. This meeting would take place in the City near our home but not in our hometown. She also asks that neither of you make any effort to visit our home, our places of work or our children's school before the meeting and, if after the meeting occurs, she does not feel comfortable continuing a relationship with Michael that you agree to cut off all further communication.

I support her decision now and always. I am happy that she has decided to see Michael and give him a second chance. That said, I would like to emphasize to you that I am also feeling incredibly defensive of my wife’s well being through all of this. My one and only priority is keeping her safe physically and emotionally. If, at any time I find her feelings compromised I will put an end to all of this. So, I ask you, wife to wife, to please be sure. Be sure that this man is the changed man you say he is. If you still feel confident, if you still know in your heart that he is, then you are welcome to message me back. If you have even the slightest doubt please just end it here. Continue to follow us on social media if you like, enjoy our pictures and the small glimpses into our lives but do so from a distance. Spare my wife the heartbreak of being abandoned by her father a second time.

Sincerely,

Waverly

It took Marjorie no time at all to respond. Later that same afternoon Waverly received her reply.

Waverly,

Thank you for your message. I completely understand the delay and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I have to say, the timing is exceptional. Just last evening Michael was sharing stories of Nicole with me as we sat on our deck enjoying a few glasses of the “Good stuff,” as he calls it. It never ceases to amaze me how a person can be so happy and yet so sad while telling a story.

This particular story was about the first time he ever saw Nicole ride a bike. Sadly, it was not Michael who taught her to ride (he nearly cried when he mentioned that part. He said to this day he doesn’t know how she learned) but he was so proud of her. She rode that bike right by him and on up their driveway then jumped off while the bike was still moving. She was still holding the handlebars as she guided the bike up to the side of the house. He told me he failed her so many times but each time she managed to rise above it. He spoke of her smile and how often he wished he could have had a hand in seeing it more. He said she was so beautiful, already taller than her friends and was very athletic but also sneaky smart. They bought her the bike in the Spring but he hadn’t had a chance to put it together for her so she put it together herself. Way too often she would have to rely on her own intellect, her own ingenuity to get what she wanted. He told me he wanted to be a Dad to her, wanted to teach her things and do fun family things like game nights but something always seemed to get in the way. He allowed things to get in the way. Some of his fondest memories are of when they would shoot hoops together in the driveway but it didn't happen often enough. He said he made it to her various games once in a while but…again…not often enough.

I see the look in his eyes everytime he speaks of Nicole. Everytime we look at the pictures on FaceBook. You asked me a question in your message and I will answer it with all of my heart, as a wife and as a mother…

I am just so very sure.

I love that you are defensive of your wife’s heart. I respect your need to keep your family safe. Nicole is lucky to have you. I assure you that Michael is a changed man and that his desire to reconcile with his daughter is pure and sincere. I believe with every ounce of my being that this will end well for all of us.

As for a potential meeting. I am amenable to doing whatever makes Nicole most comfortable. You say when and where and I will make sure we get there. Perhaps you could recommend a place to stay a night or two that is driveable to a suitable meet up place. Please let me know if that sounds agreeable to you and Nicole.

I will wait to talk to Michael about this until you get back to me. I know Nicole gave you the ok to come this far but I also know that setting a real date may feel like a lot and I would never want to pressure her (or you).

Thank you again for getting back to me. I sincerely hope this all works out if , for no other reason, than I would really love to meet you in person.

Marj

Waverly had plenty of time to think about Marjorie’s response as she made the hour’s drive home from the Museum. Marjorie said she was sure Michael was a better man and Waverly had no reason not to believe her. Still, she felt an ache in her chest thinking about Nicole meeting up with this man all alone. She wished she could be there but she understood Nicole’s desire to keep them away from Michael so she promised herself she would stay away but stay close should the meeting go badly. She decided she would recommend to Nicole that the meeting take place on a day that she had to work at the Museum. Nicole could accompany her into the City and they could spend some time together before and after the meeting, just the two of them. Nicole had already mentioned she would prefer a weekday so wherever they met would be less crowded. Waverly knew much of this was out of her control but she wanted to help as much as possible, as much as Nicole would allow.

It was almost 7:30 by the time she finally pulled into the driveway of their home and she was exhausted and starving. The house looked so calm and inviting. Nicole left the porch light on for her and she could see the only light on in the house was the lamp in the living room where she imagined Nicole and Gus were likely watching TV. She let out a content sigh before she opened her car door. She was home. Sheriff greeted her almost immediately and Waverly knelt down to love on her. She was a good dog, great actually. She seemed to instinctively know not to bark when she and Nicole came home despite her obvious excitement but she never hesitated to bark when a visitor she didn't recognize came around. Waverly will never forget the way Sheriff defended her home and her family when Terrance Hanley and his demon hordes came knocking. Sheriff fought with them, growling and biting at them until they beat her into silence. Waverly thought for sure she was dead, yet another victim of the Earp curse. She was so thankful she had survived and will never forget the look of joy and unadulterated love on Gus’s face when he first saw her after she lost her leg. He was so gentle with her and she refused to leave his side for a long time after all that.

“Come on girl, let's get in the house.” Waverly said as she waved Sheriff toward the house.

When she opened the door she smiled wide at the reaction of her wife and son. They were seated in front of the TV on the floor putting together a puzzle. It was one of Gus’s favorite things to do with his Mom. Their current masterpiece was a large image of a Cardinal perched on a fence. Gus and Nicole had so much in common. In addition to puzzles and sports they shared a love of the outdoors and of all animals but especially birds. Nicole was actually really good at identifying birds and Gus was learning all he could. He himself could identify several species by sight and even a few by sound alone. One thing Waverly knew she would never tire of was watching Nicole teach their children what she knew.

Gus and Nicole quickly abandoned their puzzle when they saw Waverly enter the house. Gus ran to her and threw his arms around her. Nicole followed close behind and placed a short but loving kiss to her lips then she took Waverly’s heavy work bag from her shoulder and placed it down for her in their coat rack/cubby stand by the door.

“Hello my loves!” Waverly hummed, “What have you two been up to?”

“Doing a puzzle.”

“Nice, let me see. What is this one?”

Gus leads Waverly to the living room and shows her their work. “It’s a male Northern Cardinal. The males are bright red like this one and the females are more brown but they have some red and they both have this really cool crest on their heads.”

“Wow, he’s really beautiful. You two have been busy, eh?”

“Yeah, I worked on it some by myself while Mom put Wyn and Kate to bed. I think we are done for tonight though, Mom said I could stay up a little with you when you got home.”

“She did?” Waverly smiles at Nicole and winks, “That’s so nice. I would love to hang out with you both for a while before bed.”

“Are you hungry?” Nicole asks.

“Ugh, starving!”

“Let me warm up some leftovers. Gus and I had pizza but I got you a pasta dish and a salad.”

“Sounds amazing, I’m gonna go change real quick, I will be right back.”

By the time she returned the table had been set for one, her salad plated and Nicole was pouring her a glass of wine.

“The pasta should be ready in just a few more minutes.” Nicole said as she put the bottle down and moved to start massaging Waverly’s shoulders.

Gus watched his parents and smiled wide. Nicole and Waverly were hell bent on making sure his childhood was much different than the one they had. All he ever saw was two loving parents. Even when they argued they made sure to resolve it before things went too far and made sure Gus knew they were ok. He would only ever know love. The love they had for each other and the love they had for him and his sisters.

Waverly ate her dinner and they all talked and laughed and Waverly couldn't help but be reminded of this time last year when they were still a family of three (with two buns in the oven) and she smiled so wide it almost hurt. She watched as Nicole ran her fingers through Gus’s hair and knew instantly her wife was thinking the very same thing.

Their night time routine proceeded as always. Waverly read to Gus until he fell asleep, kissed him on his cheek, petted Sheriff on her head and then retreated to her own bedroom. She barely mustered the strength to brush her teeth and wash her face before she fell into bed. Nicole joined her a few minutes later after she cleaned up the kitchen and locked up the house.

Waverly instinctively nestled close to Nicole. She wrapped herself around her wife and rested her head on Nicole’s chest. There were nights when this move would lead to something else but tonight they both seemed content to just enjoy the closeness as they drifted off to sleep. Waverly had decided somewhere in the middle of dinner that any discussion of Michael Haught could wait until morning.

Chapter Text

Waverly spent a lot of time thinking about how she wanted to handle things the day of her wife’s big meeting. She knew all too well how small and insignificant Nicole seemed to feel in the presence of her father when she was growing up. She knew because she felt it with her own father. She wanted to make sure her wife knew that she wasn’t that little girl anymore. That this man no longer had that power over her and he never would again. She wanted to be sure Nicole walked into this meeting with confidence and maybe even a little swagger. She wanted to give Nicole all of that, she just wasn’t sure how.

So she decided to seek advice. She decided to ask Wynonna...

“Jump her.”

“Excuse me?”

“Jump her bones…ride her like a bucking Bronco…”

“Wynonna I don’t see how…”

“Look Babygirl, you have always told me she is phenomenal in bed. You can’t be that good at sex without having confidence. Rent a room or take her to that little office of yours at the museum and just fucking jump her. “

“I mean…I guess it’s not the worst idea. It would definitely distract her and she is REALLY good at…all that.”

“See…it’s a win, win. She finds her mojo and you get to have…you know what you get to have.”

“Multiple, mind-blowing orgasms.”

“Bleh, stop before I throw up on your shoes. Seriously though, aside from the obvious advantages there is the fact that you two are ridiculously in love, still, after all of these years and all of the shit you’ve been through. What better way to remind her of that than to share yourself with her? Remind her that she is Nicole Haught and you are Waverly Haught and that will always be no matter what happens in that meeting or anywhere else for that matter.”

When it came to all things Nicole Haught, Wynonna always seemed to prefer the direct route. Waverly speculated through the years that the relationship between her wife and her sister became something different, something special and maybe even something beautiful the day Wynonna asked Nicole to find a safe place for Alice Michelle to go when she was born. The level of trust she had in Nicole to ask her to do that for her was bound to change both of them forever. So, when it came time to ask for help in her own relationship with Nicole, Waverly never hesitated to ask Wynonna and almost always took the advice she was given. This time would likely be no different although Waverly had to admit, the idea made her nervous and she had no idea why. Sex for she and Nicole had always felt so natural, so amazingly great and it’s not like she had never been the aggressor before. She initiated just as many of their encounters as Nicole did. Still, this was different. This encounter would have a purpose. Waverly would need to pull every bit of Nicole’s confidence to the surface so that it was at a full on rolling boil when she left to meet the man who seemed to be able to squash her wife’s swagger with the mere mention of his name.

As she drove home from her sister's house, Waverly decided that she would take Wynonna’s advice. A part of her was afraid that it would completely backfire and Nicole would just get angry at her for even thinking of sex in that moment but her only other idea was to follow her wife to the meeting and just kick the shit out of Michael Haught and that wasn’t exactly a viable option.

When the day of the meeting finally arrived, Waverly didn’t waste any time when they got into her office. She locked the door behind her and turned toward Nicole with a sly smile on her face. She started unbuttoning her shirt as she spoke with a lust filled voice she barely recognized as her own.

“Sit.”

Nicole appeared slightly confused but complied with Waverly’s command and licked at her lips in anticipation. Waverly dropped her shirt to the ground and straddled Nicole making quick work of Nicole’s button down.

She knew she made the right decision when Nicole immediately began moving her hands wantonly over Waverly’s body as she kissed her with intent. She didn’t stop to ask Waverly if she was sure or if someone might hear or walk in like she normally would. She wanted this, wanted her and Waverly smiled triumphantly as she felt Nicole’s heart nearly pounding out of her chest as she pressed her own body against Nicole’s. It had all the makings of the hottest sexual encounter they had in a while.

Their position on the chair made it impossible for Waverly to touch Nicole in any meaningful way but she could tell Nicole was good with that. It was what she wanted at that moment. Nicole wanted to touch Waverly, to take her in the way only she could, only she was allowed to for the rest of their lives. Nicole wanted to touch her wife and watch her as she came onto her hand which had found its way quickly into Waverly’s pants. Waverly felt more than happy to oblige. Nicole thrust two fingers into her wife and Waverly placed her hand on top of Nicole’s hand encouraging her to go deeper and harder until she came so hard she thought she might push Nicole right out of her.

Just as the aftershocks of Waverly’s first orgasm began to die down Nicole grabbed onto her, holding her tightly as she flipped their position. She sat her wife onto the chair and removed her pants completely. She pulled Waverly’s hips forward and took every last bit of her into her mouth. Waverly saw stars. Nicole relentlessly moved her tongue through Waverly’s folds then settled on her clit as she again slid two fingers into her. She expertly angled her fingers forward to the spot she knew would send her wife plunging over the edge. Waverly barely had time to catch her breath when her second orgasm hit her…hard. She only partially stifled the sound that came from deep inside her and she couldn’t find the energy to care if anyone outside her office heard her.

Nicole returned her lips to Waverly’s and kissed her with such passion that Waverly knew this was not over. Nicole stood abruptly and pulled Waverly forward into a standing position then picked her up and carried her over to her desk. She swiped away some papers and knocked over a lamp as she placed Waverly onto her desk. Nicole undid her own pants and allowed them to fall to her ankles as she pressed herself into Waverly. They both gasped at the feel as Nicole relentlessly thrust herself forward. Waverly wrapped her legs around her wife in an effort to open herself up wider to fit all of Nicole between her legs. Neither one of them held out long and when Waverly felt her third orgasm overtake her Nicole wasn’t far behind. They held each other tight as their bodies calmed and Nicole couldn’t help but smile.

“Wow, that was…I needed that.” Nicole said, still catching her breath.

Waverly smiled back as she slid herself off the desk and led her wife back to the chair. They both got dressed silently then Nicole sat down and pulled Waverly lovingly into her lap. Waverly placed a long, passionate kiss to Nicole’s lips then rested her head on her shoulder.

“That may be the best sex I’ve ever had. I mean, I’ve said that a lot, since I’ve been with you but…just, WOW.” Nicole whispered.

Waverly, still a little giddy from the encounter, could only reply with, “Mmmmhmmm,” as she ghosted her lips over Nicole’s ear and settled deeper into her lap. She wanted desperately to just tell Nicole to stay. To say fuck it to the meeting with the man who was stupid enough to not love Nicole as much as she deserved. As much as Waverly loves her. Instead she remained quiet and continued to run her fingers through Nicole’s soft, red hair. They stayed that way for a half hour before Nicole began to stir.

“Well, this isn’t going away. I suppose I should head over.” Nicole said softly as she leaned forward which prompted Waverly to break away from their embrace and stand.

“This was…perfect…you are perfect…thank you for this Waves.” She tucked her shirt neatly back into her pants and brushed her hands over her pants as if to straighten them. “I have no idea what to expect from him. I…I guess I just wish I didn’t want it so much.”

Waverly moved quickly to her wife and pulled her in close. She took Nicole’s face in her hands and moved the fingers of her right hand softly over Nicole’s scar and then her cheek while she looked deep into her brown eyes. “Nicole Haught YOU are the best person I have ever met. You walked into Shorty’s and swept me right off my feet. No one has EVER made me feel the way you do…so happy, so loved. You are my wife and mother to my children. I love you so much. NOTHING that happens in this meeting will change ANY of that. Whatever happens, we will get through it…together. That's the way we will live the rest of our lives Nicole. You and I together, forever. Michael Haught will never be able to take that from you, he can't take anything from you ever again because you are mine now and I am yours.” Waverly nearly choked on her last word as tears began to well in her eyes.

Waverly had kissed Nicole and sent her off on way too many dangerous occasions (the worst of which was the raid on the demon hideout) but this was different. It wasn’t physically dangerous but emotionally…she had never before sent Nicole out to potentially have her heart broken and it was killing her. She kissed Nicole and mustered every last bit of strength as she pushed herself to smile. “Now go, show that man what he has missed all these years. Hold him accountable and when it is done, I will be here, waiting for you.”

Nicole pulled Waverly into a deep hug, “I love you so much Waverly. That really is all I need.” Nicole smiled and then turned and left. Her absence in the room was palpable and Waverly found she suddenly felt painfully lonely so she grabbed her phone and her keys and left, desperate to find something to occupy her mind.

Michael Haught stood when he saw his daughter approaching the table. He smiled tentatively as he offered his hand to shake. Nicole was thankful that he spared her the awkwardness of a hug. She shook his hand and smiled softly.

“Hi Nicki, thanks for agreeing to see me I…”

“Hi, yeah about that, this…this meeting. I think we should get something straight right up front. I asked to meet you alone because I don't want to involve my family in any of this. I need you to know this entire thing…it’s only happening because Waverly asked me to give it…to give you a chance. I’m still not sure if I am up for this little family reunion you are seeking and I thought maybe I would know the moment I saw you but…I just don't want to mislead you or give any false hope.”

“Understood. Would you at least sit for a little while and maybe we could talk. I do still love you Nicki, I have always…”

“Stop. First of all, I have told you a million times, I hate being called Nicki. It’s Nicole, please, only Nicole. Second, let’s table the love talk shall we? Let’s stop pretending our house wasn’t cold and devoid of such talk, such feeling.”

“Ok, ok Nicole. I will give you that, all of that but Nicole I would like a chance to change that. I would like a chance to…to get to know you, the person you’ve become.”

“Are you expressing interest in me? That’s a first.”

“That’s not true.”

“It’s how it felt.”

“I’m sorry.”

For reasons Nicole can't quite put her finger on, that statement stops her in her tracks. She feels a sudden burst of affection and a strong desire to just say fuck it and wrap her arms around this man in front of her. She wants to hug her Dad. Instead she just shakes her head and forces herself to look away from him as she responds.

“That’s great but it’s not enough.”

“No, of course not but it's a start. That's all I ask for Nicki…Nicole. A start.”

“How do I know that you aren't just doing this so your new wife doesn't think you are a piece of shit?”

“What? I…I’m not sure how to answer that. I just…I think about you, everyday, well before I met Marjorie. Our relationship…”

“What relationship?” Nicole bites.

Michael looks at her pointedly, tears begin to well up in his eyes and Nicole instantly regrets what she said.

“...Our relationship, or lack thereof is the single greatest regret of my life. I think…I know I let your Mother control so much of our life, so much of how I felt and what I did that I let the greatest person I ever knew walk right out of my life and yes, I have regretted that every day since.”

“Are you really gonna push this off on Mom? Correct me if I’m wrong but you have had ample opportunity to reach out to me. To tell me this and you didn’t. The only time you called was to tell me my mother was dying…was dead. Don’t come at me with “I’m sorry” and then blame someone else…be better than that Da…Michael.”

Michael winced at the way Nicole resisted calling him Dad but refused to let that stop him.

“You are right, I know, I should have done this sooner but I…I guess I just wasn’t really a good man before. I wanted to be, maybe I even thought I was but I know I wasn’t. I wish I could go back in time and change it all. Every bit of it. I wish I could have been better and stronger for you and for your Mom. She wasn’t always the person you knew. Neither of us were. We were fun and in love and so over the moon when we had you.”

“I can’t imagine any of that, least of all the part where you were happy to have me.”

“I know and that makes my heart break Nicole but it doesn’t make it less true. You were our baby and you made us both so happy that we wanted more.”

“More? More kids?”

“Yes, we tried so hard for so long and just kept failing. You have no idea what that does to a person…to a couple. You want to give each other everything and it hurts when you can’t and no one could tell us why.” Michael pauses as he struggles to maintain his composure. “Then the worst happened. By some miracle your mom got pregnant and everything was perfect for what felt like exactly one second. She lost the baby one week into her second trimester and that was the end. She never made it back to us Nicole and I…I missed her everyday but I couldn’t help her. I couldn't help and I couldn't leave so I just went numb. I should have focused on you. I should have known that you would miss her too but I failed. I failed both of you. I never told her how I felt, I never apologized and begged for her forgiveness, even as she died in my arms. I can’t change that but I can change this.” He points his finger between them. “At least I can try. Marjorie already knows I am a ‘piece of shit’ Nicole but she stayed and she has helped me be better, helped me heal…that much is true but she is not the reason I’m here. I’m here to tell you I’m sorry, you deserved…deserve better and I would like to show you who I really am. I would like to find out who you are and meet your family. I would like all of that. I would like it very much but I will walk away clean if you can’t give it to me. I would understand completely.”

Nicole feels herself well up with emotion and despite her best effort to not let this man know he still affects her this way she starts to cry.

“Actually, I do have some experience with the kind of struggle and loss that you speak of. Waverly and I, we went through it, all of it and I…I worried for a long time we wouldn’t make it, that I would lose everything. I never knew you and Mom…”

“We thought it was best if you didn’t know. Yet another mistake I guess. I just never wanted you to think you weren’t enough, that we wanted more children because you weren’t enough. Fat load of good that theory did us. That’s exactly what you felt…what we made you feel, like you weren”t enough but you were everything Nicole. You were everything and we failed you miserably. I wish I had been there for you and Waverly when that happened to you. I wish so many things Nicole.”

Nicole stood up abruptly and Michael looked up at her clearly startled until his face shifted and it was clear he thought Nicole was going to just up and leave.

Barely able to speak Nicole just excused herself and walked briskly to the bathroom. Michael just sat and waited not knowing what to do and not willing to leave until he was told there was no place for him in his daughter’s life.

Nicole was thankful for the private bathroom as she gripped the sink and her shoulders sunk. She allowed herself to cry…to weep really for the life her father and mother led. She found herself longing for what her family could have been. Once upon a time she had two loving parents and almost had siblings. There would have been birthday parties and Holidays…knock down, drag out fights and movie nights. All of it torn from her, from the Haught’s, by a series of circumstances that she was all too familiar with. She wanted desperately to call Waverly. To hear her wife’s calming voice. To hear Waverly profess her love to her and encourage her to just come pick her up and take her home. She pulled her phone from her pocket but then immediately put it back. She needed to go back, to talk to the man still sitting at the table just beyond the door. She needed to be sure and she needed to know he was sure before she gave him the honor of meeting her wife and their children. She splashed some cold water on her face and then took a long hard look at her reflection in the mirror. She thought about when her mother died, about how much she would have given to be with her in her final moments. "I would have run to her," she thought as she willed herself into acceptance. She wanted this. She hated herself a little for it but she was helpless to deny that she wanted a relationship with her father. Even now.

Michael couldn’t stop his hand from reaching across the table to touch Nicole as she sat back down. When he did Nicole didn't pull away, in fact, she couldn't help but notice the warmth of his touch, something she never felt before.

“Are you sure?” She spoke the words softly and Michael couldn’t help but hear the hope in them. “It’s not going to be easy or quick. We have a lot to fix and I don’t want you meeting my family and then disappearing when it gets hard. I need to know you are sure.”

“I’m sure Nicole. I have never been more sure of anything in my entire life and I will do whatever you need me to do at whatever pace. I don’t ever want to make you uncomfortable or sad again. I love you Nicole…I will do anything.”

Nicole stood again, much slower this time. “Ok, ok, yeah. I want to try. I need to talk to Waverly and I will call you.” She dropped some cash on the table and before Michael could protest she started walking away. She stopped half way and turned to face him. “There is a really great Italian restaurant just down the street. It’s our favorite, you might want to take Marjorie there tonight or…whatever.”

Michael smiled at his daughter’s thoughtfulness but before he could thank her for the recommendation she was gone.

Chapter Text

Most of the time when Ward Earp looked at Waverly he saw the face of another man looking back at him. The face of a stranger who impregnated his wife and then left town leaving Ward to raise another man’s child. Most of the time Ward hated Waverly for it.

If Ward had been a good man or even a decent man he would have put his own hurt aside to do what was right by the tiny girl who was desperate for love but Ward was neither good nor decent. In fact, most would agree (even he himself) that Ward Earp was a real piece of shit.

His daughters lived in fear of him. Even his eldest Willa who was most like him and the only one of the three he paid any mind to feared him. She loved him but she feared him. He was a mean and nasty drunk of a man.

He was meanest to Waverly.

Nearly every memory Waverly has of her childhood is centered around feeling frightened and neglected on good days and downright terrified and beaten down on bad ones. The recent events involving Michael Haught’s desire to make amends with his daughter and to try to establish a new relationship with her has led Waverly down a spiral of memories. Desperate to find a good one, one that would help her believe that if Ward were alive maybe he would want the same thing Michael wants.

One such memory came to her as she sat at the counter of an ice cream shop eating a small dish of vegan mint chip while Nicole was meeting her father for the first time in years.

A five year old Waverly Earp sat in the chair outside the Principal's office while her father was inside. Her shoulders were slumped over and she was nervously kicking her feet. She was too small for her feet to touch the ground so they just swung back and forth. She was shaking with fear. Her Daddy had to come here on his day off and she knew he would be extra mad. He always told them to never bother him on his days off. Those were his days to “rest”. Wynonna and Willa knew rest really meant getting wasted drunk so they made sure to steer clear of him. Wynonna warned Waverly many times to stay extra far away from their father on his rest days. She would often take Waverly to visit their Aunt and Uncle on those days just to be extra safe.

In this moment, Waverly knew she messed up real bad. She got into a fight and despite her crying and begging the Principal called Ward to come and get her.

During recess Waverly heard Champ Hardy making fun of her sister Willa. He said she was crazy like her Mama and mean like her Daddy. Waverly told Champ to stop, in fact, she told him to shut up but that only seemed to fuel his fire. He kept at it and when he added Wynonna’s name to the mix Waverly had enough. She kicked him square in the “balls'' as Wynonna had called them. Wynonna told her if she ever got into a fight with a boy she should kick him in the “balls.” Waverly had no idea what balls were of course but she knew from Wynonna’s example that they were somewhere between a boy's legs so that's where she aimed and that's where her kick landed. Champ dropped like a hot potato. He grabbed himself and started crying, right there in front of a playground full of their classmates. Champ Hardy had been beaten up by the smallest girl in all of Purgatory Elementary. Word spread like wildfire and when the teachers responded they helped Champ to the Nurse and Waverly to the Principal.

As she sat in silence she could hear grumbling just beyond the door. She recognized her fathers raised voice and for a moment thought of running away. The moment passed though, as it always did. Waverly knew she was stuck here for now but Wynonna promised her it wouldn't be forever. Wynonna promised her she would get out of this town someday. She couldn't have been more wrong.

When the door opened and Ward started walking towards her she saw a look on his face she absolutely did not recognize. She had never before seen it. Ward Earp was looking at her with pride. Turns out the only thing Waverly ever did to make Ward proud of her was to kick Champ Hardy in the balls when she was five years old.

Ward took her by the hand and helped her down from the chair.

“Let’s go.” he said simply and…Kindly?

Waverly held her father’s hand as he triumphantly led her down the hall and out of the building.

“Turns out you have the rest of the day off little girl. What do you want to do?”

“I don't know Daddy.”

“Hmmmm….” Ward Earp had no idea what little girls wanted to do with unexpected days off. He guessed drinking was not one of them. “Do you want to get some ice cream?”

Waverly almost squealed with happiness. “YES!”

Ward found himself laughing out loud at his daught…at Waverly. “Ok, ice cream it is.” he said as he swung Waverly’s arm playfully in the direction of the ice cream shop in town.

Waverly got herself a giant cup full of Mint Chip ice cream and Ward ordered himself a similarly sized cup of Chocolate. They sat across from each other and Waverly ate in absolute bliss until the worst possible thing happened. Waverly dropped a spoonful of her ice cream into her lap. She tried desperately to get it off before it left a stain but she had no such luck. Terrified that her Daddy would be angry she was on the verge of tears when she looked up to see her Daddy, Ward Earp, take a spoonful of his chocolate and intentionally drop it into his own lap. He smiled at her. “Uh-oh, now we match I guess,” he said as he started to laugh. Waverly giggled with sheer glee. This was, by far, the best day of her life.

Waverly Haught was pulled from her memory when her phone began to ring. “Just as well,” she thought as she searched for her phone in her purse. If she had been allowed to continue any further with her memory of that day she would have just been transported back to that night when Champ Hardy’s dad called the house and a yelling match ensued. Ward Earp hung up the phone and threw it across the room, he grabbed a bottle of something brown and stormed out into the night. They didn't see him for three whole days after that. Willa blamed Waverly, Wynonna blamed Champ and Waverly just hid in her room and cried. For three whole days she cried.

She smiled when she saw the picture of her wife light up on her phone and quickly pressed the green button to accept the call.

“Hi my love. Are you ok? How did it go? She said a little too anxiously for her own liking.

“Hi. I am ok…I think I am good actually. It was…cathartic, yeah, that's the best way to describe it I think. He was…better than I expected. Honest and apologetic and…loving. I learned a lot about him and my Mom and how and why they were who they were. It’s definitely a start and I feel good about it.”

“Sweetie, that's great. I'm so happy for you and for him. I hope he knows how lucky he is…he got to meet the best human being in the whole wide world.”

Waverly said the last part in her cheeriest tone and Nicole couldn't help but smile on the other end of the phone. “Well, I don't know about that, he hasn't met you yet.”

Waverly giggled slightly before proceeding, “Hey, I spoke to Wynonna earlier. She said the kids are doing fine and we should take our time. Any chance you want to take me out to dinner? Maybe our favorite Italian place? I just finished a scoop of ice cream but I swear I could house a plate of their spaghetti and a nice glass of something red.”

“I would love to take you to dinner but…maybe another place? I kind of recommended it to Michael. I think he may take Marjorie there.”

“Oh, yeah, ok. Anywhere is fine.”

There was a brief moment of silence as Nicole watched Michael emerge from the cafe on his phone.

“Unless…” Nicole said as she closed her eyes and thought for a moment. “Unless you would want to meet him. He is still here, I could ask him if…”

“Nicole, I would love to meet him…them, but I don't want you to do anything you aren't ready to do. I don't want you to feel rushed. There are plenty of other places, or we could just head home if you want, if you are tired. Anywhere is fine as long as I am with you.”

“Thanks Waves, I know you would never rush me. I just…I think maybe I want you to meet him. I want you to meet him and tell me what you think. I know I can rely on you to help me know if he is genuine. You are such a great judge of character and I know you will protect me from my own blind desire to welcome him back into my life…into our lives…our kids lives. If, at the end of the night, you feel comfortable with him, if you like him and trust him then I will know that I can too.”

“I want whatever you want Nicole. If you feel like you want to do this now, tonight, then I am all in. I love you so much and I want you to be happy and feel safe and loved and I want to be one of the people who makes you feel all those things.”

“Waves, you are not just one of the people…you are MY PERSON and I couldn't have done any of this without you. I love you too and I really think I want you to meet Michael, my Father. It won't be real until you do.”

Nicole caught up to Michael just before he drove off from the cafe and invited him and Marjorie to dinner with her and Waverly. He was clearly surprised by the invitation but also very pleased and thankful.

“I would love to meet your wife and I can't tell you how honored I am that you would ask. The only person who may be happier to meet her than me is my wife who can't seem to say enough about how kind and compassionate Waverly has been and how fiercely she loves you.”

“Yeah, Waverly is pretty great, the best really and she seems to feel the same about Marjorie.”

“I have a feeling we are about to learn a whole lot about each other,” Michael says with a tentative smile.

“Yup, and it’s terrifying.” Nicole replied and they both laughed heartily.

It was already almost five thirty so they agreed to meet at the restaurant in about a half an hour before they parted ways.

Waverly was already walking back to her office when Nicole called back to inform her of their new plans for the evening. They decided that it would be easier if Nicole stopped off to get some wine and Waverly would just walk to the restaurant and meet them after she locked up at the Museum. It would be fair to say that it occurred to everyone involved that it was all a little too real and everyone involved was experiencing a fair share of nervousness. There was no going back now.

“Hi, I’m meeting my wife and her…and two other people here…”

“Ah yes, you must be Waverly.”

Waverly looked quizzically at the host, “Yes, yes I am how did you…?”

“Your wife told me you would be arriving shortly and that I should look for the most beautiful person I ever saw. She was correct, with the exception of my own wife of course.”

“Of course,” Waverly said with an embarrassed smile. Her wife was a charmer even when she was stressed out and nervous. She made a mental note to be sure to thank her wholeheartedly for the ego boost later tonight.

Waverly followed her new friend through the restaurant toward the back where it was quiet and more private. Something her wife probably requested. She could hear Nicole talking before she could see her and she smiled. She loved her wife’s voice. She saw Nicole seated with her back to the wall so she could see anyone approaching the table first. Nicole told her once that it was a “cop” thing and she always sat that way to protect her family so she could see danger approaching before it got near them. Nicole was talking with her company and her face looked more serious than Waverly would have liked. Her worry disappeared when Nicole looked up and immediately saw her. Nicole smiled wide and in that moment Waverly knew she was ok. This was all going to be ok. Nicole stood and put her arm out to welcome her wife. She placed a chaste kiss on Waverly's lips and turned to present her to her guests.

“Waverly, this is my…” Nicole hitched for a moment on her words but proceeded almost immediately, “my father Michael and his wife Marjorie.” Then she turned to Michael and Marjorie, “ and this is my wife, Waverly.”

Michael smiled as he stood and shook Waverly’s hand and Waverly lost herself in the image of the person standing in front of her. Michael Haught had red hair that was infused with a healthy amount of gray. Just enough to be sexy but not old. He had soulful and kind brown eyes and a terribly handsome dimpled smile. He was, physically at least, everybit her wife’s father.

The entire way here she worried about what she would feel and what she would do in this moment. Would she hate him instantly and kick him in the balls like she did to Champ way back in grammar school then grab her wife’s hand and run them both out of the restaurant and straight home? Or would she feel ok, comfortable even in the presence of the man who helped create the absolute love of her life? Fortunately for everyone it was the latter response that prevailed. “Very nice to meet you Mr Haught.” Waverly said as she shook his hand.

Before anyone had a chance to say anything further Waverly found herself being swept into a warm hug. Marjorie Haught had decided to forego any pomp and circumstance and move right in for affection.

“Waverly, it is such an absolute pleasure to finally meet you. You are every bit the beauty your wife proclaimed. Thank you so much for meeting with us on such short notice and for helping us all heal enough to get here.”

Waverly couldn't help it, she hugged Marjorie right back and smiled at Nicole over Marjorie’s shoulder. She liked this woman…a lot. “So nice to finally meet you too and I believe you had a hand in the healing part as well.”

As the hug broke Waverly felt the familiar comfort of Nicole’s hand on her lower back guiding her to her seat. They sat and Waverly immediately took a sip of the wine her wife had already poured for her.

“Waverly, please, call me Michael.” Michael said as he held Marjorie’s seat for her as she settled back into it.

“Michael, yes, of course. Nice to meet you Michael and Marjorie. This is…I’m very happy this is happening.”

The night flowed easily and they did indeed learn a great deal about each other. They learned about how they met each other as couples and shared some details of their weddings. They talked about their children. Michael couldn't get enough when it came to the details of his grandchildren.

Marjorie shared details about her own children. Waverly knew from her FB page that she had three just like she and Nicole did and that they were also two girls and a boy. Marjorie beamed as she spoke of them. Her oldest daughter Meghan is a General Surgeon at one of the largest hospitals in New Jersey. Her second born, her son Joe, is a State Trooper also in New Jersey and her youngest child Elizabeth is a teacher in Vermont. They are all happily married and Elizabeth’s wife just gave birth to their second child and Marjorie’s fourth grandchild.

Michael spoke a bit about Nicole’s Mom and how she became sick and eventually died and how that loss eventually became the catalyst to Michael meeting Marjorie since her husband also died of brain cancer. Marjorie became emotional when she spoke of her husband's struggle and his final days. “There is something about seeing a person you love lose themself like that. Something that you can only share with someone else who went through it. That shared experience, shared grief, brought Michael and I together but it was our desire to move on and to live life to its fullest that kept us together, that led to us falling in love.” Waverly found herself captivated by this couple. She thought that they were people she would have found eventually and really liked even if they weren't family. They were…nice.

They ate and drank and laughed at stories of the kids and life in general. There had been only one brief moment of discomfort as Michael shared the story about when Nicole told them she was going into law enforcement. Waverly saw Nicole’s expression and knew instantly that her recollection of the events Michael was describing were very different from his. Nicole had clearly decided not to share her side of the story and Waverly reached under the table and took her wife’s hand and squeezed it lovingly, a gesture that seemed to soothe Nicole’s heart and mind. Waverly thought to herself that someday she might ask about what really happened but not now and not tonight. She would give Nicole a chance to tell her on her own if and when she wanted to.

Aside from that brief moment things were going great, so great that Waverly lost her grip on reality just long enough to blurt out, “The girls turn one this week and we are having a big party to celebrate this coming weekend. If you are still in town...”

Before she could finish her sentence Nicole and Michael both reached for and downed the remains of their glasses of wine as if they were a mirror image of each other and both Waverly and Marjorie watched in awe. Michael spoke first as he placed his empty glass back on the table.

“ We are only in town…I mean we only planned to be here for a few days.”

Nicole could feel her heart beating out of her chest. She felt herself suddenly start to sweat. She was vaguely aware of the fact that Michael was talking but she had no idea what he was saying. This was all too real, too much, too fast…

Waverly recognized her wife’s distress and instantly felt guilt for being the one to throw the otherwise pleasant evening completely off kilter. She looked into Nicole’s eyes apologetically as she moved in close to her wife. Their bodies touched and that was it. That was all it took to pull Nicole back from her downward spiral.

Nicole could feel her focus return as her heart rate stabilized. She returned to the conversation in time to hear Michael desperately trying to provide his daughter with a safe way out of this situation.

“…driving out to Vancouver to visit with…”

“You should join us.” Nicole said, surprised at the sound of her own voice speaking these words to this man. “If you can that is…you should come to our home and meet the kids…your grandchildren.”

Michael was speechless. His eyes began to fill with tears. He tried desperately to compose himself but with every intake of air he felt himself come closer to full on crying right there in front of all of them.

“Ex…excuse me,” he barely managed as he stood and made a B-line to the bathroom.

Marjorie stood to check on her husband but before she left she turned to Nicole, “It may not be my place to say and maybe he would be angry with me if he knew I did but you should know that what you just did, it’s maybe the greatest thing that has ever happened to him. In his wildest dreams he hoped to have this chance. To meet your family and have a chance to be part of it. You are a great person Nicole, better than I ever imagined you could be. Both of you are extraordinary. Thank you for this, for all of this. “

Once she was gone Waverly pulled Nicole in for a hug. “I’m so sorry Nicole. I don't know what got into me. The night had gone so well and I…I really like him…and her…both of them. I should never have mentioned it and then when I did it felt shitty to not ask them but then I realized you might not be ok and I…”

“Waverly…”

“I ruined everything Nicole…”

“Waverly!”

Waverly snapped out of her hysteria.

“You didn't ruin anything. It’s ok. It’s really just…it’s better than ok. I am happy that you brought it up. I’m happy I asked him. I…I hope he says yes. We still haven't heard back from Kevin and we have no idea what will happen with this whole Eve thing. If I agree to get involved it could take months or years before it's resolved and that would just be more time missed. I want him in my life, I hated not having a mom or a dad. I can't change the mom part but I can change this. I want my father Waverly and I want our kids to have a grandfather. If you feel ok about inviting him then I do too.”

As she finished her last sentence Michael and Marjorie returned to the table. Michael spoke, eyes red and voice still a tad shaky.

“If the invitation still stands I would very much love to attend my Granddaughters birthday party.”

Nicole smiled as she replied, “That makes me very happy Dad.”

Waverly choked back her tears as she watched her wife interact with her father. She was happy for them both but she found herself only able to think one very specific and somewhat terrifying thought. This man is about to meet Wynonna.

Chapter Text

In the days following their dinner with Michael and Marjorie, Nicole began slowly sharing parts of herself with Waverly. She shared stories about her youth and about her parents but it was all mostly fluff. Waverly was happy to hear about what Nicole’s house looked like and what her neighborhood was like. She was finally getting glimpses into Nicole’s youth. Nicole had already told her about some of her boyfriends and about the first time she had sex. She knew about the first girl she ever kissed, ever loved but she never knew the name of Nicole’s best friend. She only just this week found out that her best friend's name was Dina and that they played basketball and softball together growing up and all through high school. She spoke of sleepovers and even vacations with Dina and her family. Dina was the person she went to when she was freaking out because she had just kissed a girl for the first time. She had been her person, her best friend, her go to and she loved her. They had fallen out of touch when Nicole all but ran away the day after graduation, never looking back and never to return. Losing Dina had been a consequence of her decision to leave and for a long time had been the only part of her decision to leave home so abruptly that she regretted. Nicole mentioned that she might want to look her up someday soon and Waverly expressed her full support of that idea.

Waverly knew Nicole played basketball but she never knew what position she played or that she still held the record for scoring at her high school. She also never knew that Nicole was an honor student and got accepted to every school she applied to. There was so much about Nicole, her wife, that she did not know and she was thankful to Michael for opening her up. She was thankful but also more than a little angry. After all, it was he and his wife that shut her down in the first place.

Truth be told, it bothered Waverly that Nicole shut her out of her past so much. She knew so little about her wife. She herself had been an open book…literally. There had been an actual book. She felt like she was always sharing her story with Nicole, the intimate details of her youth and what it was like growing up an Earp in Purgatory. Still, Nicole remained radio silent. Waverly wanted to know her wife through and through. She wanted to hear the stories that shaped her, even the painful ones. Especially the painful ones. The stories no one else in the entire World knew. She wanted to be the one, the only one to know. She wanted that very badly but she also knew sharing stories like that couldn't be forced, they couldn't be asked for. Those stories had to be willingly shared at their keepers pace, in their keepers time. She herself had stories like that. Parts of herself that were simply too much to say out loud. But she did tell her story, she did say it out loud, only ever once and only ever to one person. She told her story to Nicole…

One night, about four months into their relationship Nicole woke Waverly from a particularly bad nightmare.

“WYNONNA! NO!”

“Baby, baby, wake up. You’re safe Waves, I’m here with you, in your bed. Wake up Waverly, it’s ok, everything is ok. Wynonna is ok, she’s asleep downstairs…I think.” She whispered the last part almost inaudibly.

Waverly jerked out of her sleep and with wide, terrified eyes scanned the room until they settled on Nicole then she began to cry. Nicole just held her unsure of what else to do. She loved this woman but it was very new, especially for Waverly and she didn't want to overstep in this moment.

As her crying seemed to calm, Waverly pulled away slightly from Nicole’s arms. She looked into her eyes, “Nicole…I…I need to tell you what happened to my Daddy. To Ward.”

Her voice was so soft and so tiny, almost like she was a terrified little girl all over again and it nearly broke Nicole’s heart in two. She would do anything to take this memory away from her, to make it all just go away but she knew that was not possible so she did the next best thing, the only thing…she listened.

Nicole listened as Waverly told her about the night the Revenants raided the Homestead, the very place they were in right now. She listened to every detail as told through the eyes of a six year old. The bullets, the fire, the scary, red eyes.

“They pulled Willa out through the window and she screamed so loud and so hard. That was when Daddy went after them. They were yelling back and forth for a few minutes and then they were taking Daddy too. I tried to hold Wynonna back. She was all I had left and I was so scared but she couldn't help herself, she took Daddy’s gun and she ran towards them. When she called out with the gun held up aimed at no one in particular they laughed at her and teased her, they teased me too. I remember the moment I knew Wynonna was going to pull the trigger. I screamed for her to stop, ‘Wynonna, NO!’ but she fired the gun and Daddy fell almost instantly. She didn't aim that gun Nicole. She didn't aim, she practically had her eyes closed. The chances of her hitting our father…it’s almost as though…” Waverly shook her head and a fresh set of tears welled up in her eyes, “...it’s almost as though that gun, Peacemaker, took over. Like IT decided our father needed to die. Like IT knew he was not going to be able to break the curse. I think, on that day, Peacemaker chose Wynonna and it did it in the cruelest way possible.” Waverly pulled herself completely from Nicole’s arms and fell onto her back staring blankly at the ceiling.

“You can run now…you can run and I would understand. I can hear it, how crazy it all sounds. I know how crazy it all sounds, how crazy I sound. I’ve never told anyone my side of it all, my memory of that night, my theory, because I know it’s too much, I’m too much, too broken. So, yeah…you can run and I would understand. It would break my heart but I would understand.”

Nicole sat up and moved closer to Waverly. When Waverly turned her head away Nicole gently reached out to touch her. She was propped up on her right arm as she softly turned Waverly’s head back towards her with her left hand. She looked down into Waverly’s eyes, “Waverly Earp, you are so many things. You are kind, you are smart, you are ridiculously fun to be around and you make everything and everyone better. You are also the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes upon. You are all those things and more but you are NOT crazy. The shit you’ve lived through…crazy for sure, but YOU…not you. You are extraordinary. You are a once in a lifetime. I would be the crazy one if I left. I am not going anywhere Waves. I am going to be here…right here for as long as you’ll have me.”

“I love you Nicole.”

“I love you too Waverly.” Nicole smiled reassuringly as she brushed tears from Waverly’s cheek. “Try to get some sleep my love.” she whispered as she kissed the tip of Waverly’s nose.

Waverly forced a smile and nodded, “You’ll be here, in the morning, you’ll still be here?”

Nicole fought off tears of her own. The thought that this amazing woman had been so damaged. That this woman had been left by so many people, so many stupid people that were only interested in the pretty package but didn't stick around for all the fascinating, surprising and breathtaking parts that existed inside was mind-boggling to her. Her emotions rendered her practically speechless and when she finally spoke her voice broke slightly.

“I promise Waverly Earp, when you open your eyes I will be the first person you see. I will be here, holding you. I am your person and you are mine.”

That was all Waverly needed. She pulled Nicole’s body the rest of the way on top of her and held on so tight. Nicole allowed just enough of her weight to rest on Waverly. Enough to be comforting, enough to allow Waverly to feel her there until she felt Waverly’s body relax underneath her, until she heard her breathing steady, until she knew she was asleep. She slid to Waverly’s side making sure to maintain some form of contact so that Waverly would know she was still there. She allowed herself to process the information she just received. She was madly in love with the person asleep beside her but she was also in awe of her. Waverly’s story was…a lot, Waverly was a lot but Nicole wanted it, all of it, all of her.

Nicole made three promises that night. The first she made to Waverly, that she would be there in the morning and the other two she made to herself. The first promise to herself was that she would get to know Wynonna Earp better and be kinder to her, maybe even become a friend to her. The second was that she was going to marry Waverly Earp someday.

Nicole Haught always made good on her promises.

Chapter Text

It was Thursday evening, two days away from the twins’ birthday. Two days away from the day Nicole’s father was set to meet their children. Thursday, as it turned out, was also the day that Nicole decided she needed to tell her story to Waverly.

When Nicole walked in through the door Waverly immediately noticed she seemed off. Preoccupied. Nicole kissed her, as always, but it felt different…it felt like love, it would always feel like love but there was something more…it felt like need. Nicole doted over the kids and listened to Gus’s stories about his day but Waverly could tell her head was a bit of a mess. She thought to ask, to check in on her wife but decided not to. This felt like something Nicole had to do at her own pace. It felt…big.

The rest of the night went much as most others. Waverly read to Gus while Nicole closed up downstairs. Normally, Nicole would be making her way up the stairs just as Waverly kissed a sleeping Gus goodnight and Waverly would emerge from Gus’s room to find her wife checking on their daughters. She would smile and watch silently for a few moments before Nicole would notice and smile back. They would retreat to their room and fall asleep in their bed. Both would agree, they had a pretty amazing life.

This night however would not be sticking to the script. Waverly slowly and quietly pulled Gus’s door partially closed behind her and made her way to the girls’ room, she peeked in and was disappointed to find her wife was not in there. She crept in and checked on them herself then left to look for Nicole. She checked their bedroom and was surprised when she wasn't there either. “Oh boy.” She thought as she made her way downstairs.

She found Nicole sitting on the couch. The light was on but the TV was off and she was blankly staring at the bottle of beer she held in her hand as she peeled at the label.

“Sweetie?”

Nicole looked up, startled and flashed a broken smile, “Hey, you scared me.” She chuckled half heartedly then took a sip from her beer.

“Whatcha doin’ down here?”

Nicole shrugged, “Just…just having a beer.”

“Ok. Mind if I join you?”

“That would be nice actually. I’ll get you a…”

“No, sit, stay…I mean… just relax, I will get it. I’ll be right back.”

Waverly went into the kitchen and caught her breath. Whatever was on Nicole’s mind was WAY bigger than she thought earlier. Her wife must have some serious stuff going on. Waverly opened the fridge and scanned the possibilities. She hated beer. Really didn't care for the stuff. It always reminded her of Champ Hardy shoving his tongue into her mouth tasting like cheap beer and tobacco dip. She much preferred wine but there wasn't a bottle open and she wanted to get back to Nicole as quickly as possible. She thought about forgoing the drink completely but thought back to the image of her wife on the couch in the next room and decided she didn't want Nicole to drink alone. At least her wife kept the selection top notch. There was nothing cheap about Nicole’s taste in beers and she almost always had one or two Stella Artois on hand because she knew if Waverly was going to drink beer she preferred a Stella.

Waverly grabbed herself a beer, popped the top and took a long, slow drink. She winced at the coldness and the slightly sour taste. “Ugh that’s just not my favorite thing.” She whispered to herself as she put away the bottle opener, discarded the cap and headed toward the living room. She took another long pull from the bottle before she took her seat next to her wife on their couch.

“I could have opened you a bottle of wine. I know you hate beer.”

“No, it’s ok. You know I don’t mind a good Stella every now and then. I know it’s the only reason you buy it.”

Nicole proffers up another half hearted smile and Waverly finds herself genuinely scared. She takes in the sight before her. Nicole is sitting slouched down on the couch, her right arm is on the armrest and she is holding her beer in her right hand. She is allowing the bottle to tip forward so far it looks like it may spill. Her legs are spread but not in a confident way. More like in a way that is begging for space. Begging for Waverly to keep her distance. Nicole has not reached for her or even really looked at her since she got home this evening. Waverly is trying desperately to give Nicole time and space but with each passing moment she finds herself getting more and more anxious. Maybe even afraid. She takes another long swig from her bottle and surprises herself when she discovers the bottle is already more than half empty. She puts her drink down on the floor in front of her and breaks. She draws a breath in to speak and…

“Waverly, I’m scared.” Nicole cuts in nervously and leans forward. “Terrified actually.”

“What? Of What? Whatever it is we…”

Nicole falls back against the back of the couch. She covers her face with her hand and starts to cry. “That I fucked up. That I invited this man into our lives, into the lives of our children and he is going to be the same…the same man that let me leave. The same man that ignored me my whole life and then when I told him and my mother that I finally found myself and figured out what I wanted to do with my life refused to accept me. They cut me off then they watched me leave. I thought it was fucked up before but now…now that I have…that we have our own kids. How? Waves, how do you do that? There is no scenario that I can imagine that would make it possible to lose interest in our children, to destroy their hopes and their dreams then watch them leave…forever. Never knowing if they were safe or happy or even…frigging alive. Who does that Waverly? Who does that and can a person who does that ever really be sorry or change? I’m afraid that the answer is going to be no. I’m afraid he is going to come here and then leave and never come back. I swear Waverly, I wouldn't care…I wouldn’t give a shit if it was just about me. I have you and I have our children but this…Gus is already asking about his Grandpa. If he hurts him it will be MY fault. I will have hurt our son and for what? For a chance at knowing what it feels like to be loved by a parent? I feel so selfish, Waves. That's so selfish of me.”

Waverly was stunned into silence. She found herself unable to move. In all the years she has known Nicole she has never seen her like this, so pulled into herself. Nicole’s body language seemed to beg for distance but her tone and her words conveyed something else entirely.

“Nicole, sweetie, can I…can I touch you?”

Nicole didn't speak and she kept her arm across her face as if she were ashamed and didn't want Waverly to see her but she nodded her head and Waverly understood. She slid herself across the couch and sat facing Nicole. She slowly placed her left hand on Nicole’s thigh and with her other hand she began stroking her hair.

“Nicole, there is not a selfish bone in your body. Wanting to believe the best about someone is not selfish, wanting to feel your fathers love is not selfish.”

“It is if you know it could hurt someone, hurt your child. I’m supposed to protect him. Protect all of you. That should be all that matters…ever.”

“Nicole, you have done everything right here. If there is anyone to blame it’s me. I got us here with friend requests and messages. I arranged the meetings and mentioned the party. I pushed and I pushed and I feel like I put too much pressure on you.” Waverly starts to cry as she continues, “And as far as protecting us…Nicole, you bound yourself to this place to protect me. You protect us-your family and everyday you leave this house to go protect this town as its Sheriff. My God Nicole, when I failed as the Angel you agreed to become the Shield… you protect the World. Without you the Garden would have fallen many times over. Terrance Hanley would have succeeded, he would have ended the World. You protect us Nicole and you are not selfish. You are a hero, you are my hero and I’m sorry for making you feel this way. I’m just so sorry you feel this way. If you have changed your mind about having him here I will call tomorrow and cancel with them. They will understand, I know they will.”

Nicole seems to calm as Waverly speaks. She practically melts into Waverly’s touch. As she relaxes her arm drops from her face and she looks at her wife with so much emotion that Waverly almost gasps.

“You didn’t fail us, Waverly. I stopped you, I stopped you from taking your fathers seat in the Garden. You had accepted your fate and I stopped you, I begged you to stay. I would do it again too, over and over. This isn’t your fault, it’s his fault, he and my mother, they were the ones who pushed…they pushed me to be something and someone that I wasn’t, that I could never be and then, when I wouldn’t comply, they pushed me away.” Nicole’s breathing seems to calm and she takes a sip of her beer before placing it down next to Waverly’s.

“Waves, I don’t know that I ever really told you about why I walked away for good. I’ve told you that I left for University as soon as I graduated but I never told you about what happened after. When I decided that I wanted to go into Law Enforcement. I’ve never told anyone that story but I feel like I want to…I want to share everything with you…”

Nicole Haught was well into her sophomore year at University when she had an epiphany. Even though she walked out of her parents home over a year ago they were still controlling her life.

She was still tucking in her shirt after sneaking out of the bed of another woman she slept with but whose name she couldn't remember when she realized she was not even a little happy. She should have been - happy that is - she was kicking ass at life. It just wasn't the life she wanted. She was a pre-law major and top three in her class. Her sex life was better than most though it lacked any real connection and she tried to be ok with that. She was “sowing her oats” as it were but it wasn’t her, none of it was.

She started having dreams, almost nightly, of herself in a perfectly put together uniform with a polished badge clipped over her heart, protecting people from harm. And there was a woman in those dreams. One woman who made her feel complete and loved and at home. She was the kindest, most beautiful person she’d ever seen with a smile that lit Nicole’s heart on fire. She desperately wanted to find her and get on with her life as she dreamed it to be.

Nicole knew if she were to have any of that life she needed to talk to her parents. She dreaded that with every ounce of her being. Despite the fact that she left under not so great terms her parents continued to finance her education and provide her with a monthly stipend to cover her housing and living expenses. Every once in a while Nicole felt just a little guilty about taking the money but that feeling would pass pretty quickly. In the back of her head Nicole knew that nothing was free and that the financial assistance undoubtedly came with a price. She had a feeling she was about to find out exactly what that price was.

Laura and Michael Haught were surprised when their daughter informed them of her plans to come home for the Holidays. After all, they hadn’t seen her in over a year and a half. Their phone conversations were always short and usually focused on a bill that needed paying or a document that needed signing.

When Nicole walked into her childhood home to find dinner on the table she decided her news could wait until the following day. She found she didn't have the strength to engage in that particular conversation after a long day of travel so she sat at the table with the strangers she called Mom and Dad and exchanged small talk for as long as any of them could bear. Eventually she excused herself from the table citing exhaustion from her travels and retreated to her room for the remainder of the night.

Nicole spent most of the next day going through some of her things in her room. She was not an overly sentimental person and so she deemed most of the stuff to be garbage and planned to tell her parents they could just get rid of it if they wanted to. By three in the afternoon she had a small box packed to take with her back to her apartment at school. It contained two journals, her basketball trophy from winning the championship her senior year and a few random articles of clothing that included a Hanson concert t-shirt. Holding onto the shirt she thought back to the night she bought it. That night she had snuck out of her house to attend that concert with some of her friends. One of her friends brought her cousin Celia who was visiting from out of town. At the end of the third song Celia turned to Nicole and planted a kiss to her lips that sent Nicole reeling. They made out for the rest of the concert and the entire ride home. Celia was the first of many girls Nicole would kiss over many years until the moment Waverly Earp pulled her into Nedley’s office and officially became the last girl she would ever kiss.

Nicole checked her watch and decided she had just enough time to go for a run through her old neighborhood before she had to shower and dress for dinner with her parents. While she ran she prepared herself for the conversation she intended to have later in the evening. She planned out exactly what she wanted to say and how she wanted to say it. By the time she was done showering and dressing the butterflies in her stomach were swarming and she felt a wave of nausea hit her. Dinner tonight would have very little to do with eating.

Her parents were placing the last bit of food onto the table when Nicole finally made it downstairs. They all smiled somewhat tentatively at each other as they took their seats. It was already a wholly uncomfortable scene and it was minutes from getting infinitely worse. They made some small talk as Nicole picked at the food on her plate for almost fifteen minutes and it was almost pleasant. Nicole felt her resolve falter for a moment before her mother asked the question that sent the night reeling.

“So, do you have a boyfriend yet?”

Nicole felt herself get hot with anger and she decided it was now or never.

“Really Mom? I believe I have mentioned to you that I am a Lesbian so no…there is no boyfriend. No girlfriend either, just a ton of sex with random women. Apparently Im pretty good at it…the sex…so I am going with it.”

“Nicole…” her father says with an authoritative tone.

“What? What Dad? She asked and I answered. If you don't want to hear about my dating life dont ask because it's always going to be women.”

“Don't you want a family? To get married and have children?” Her mother asks.

“Someday I absolutely want to get married. I want to have a wife and yes, I think I want children. I don't know if I ever want to carry a child but I definitely think I would like to have children.”

“Come on Nicole…how will that work? Why do you always insist on taking the hardest route?” Laura says with an exasperated tone.

“Can you even hear yourself? I can have all of those things and if being part of this family has taught me anything it's that blood or genes mean nothing when it comes to defining a family. I feel closer to some of my friends at school than I do to anyone at this table. They know me better than either of you and they love me, they are there for me.”

Nicole can feel the conversation completely derailing and she hasn't even mentioned what she came here to talk about. She shakes her head as she collects her thoughts and forces herself to focus.

“You know what? I dont have time to explain family dynamics to you two or to revisit the fact that I have told you both time and again that I am queer and that is never going to change. Get over it already.”

“Nicki…” her father begins, “...we understand and I…we are fine with it. Your mother and I just worry about you.”

“You may be fine with it Michael but I am not. Life is hard enough, dangerous enough without adding to it. I just worry about your safety Nicole. The world is not a safe place for people who are different.” Laura adds.

Nicole laughs sarcastically, “Well Mom, if your problem is that you are worried about my safety you are gonna hate the rest of this conversation.”

Michael looks up from his plate directly to Nicole then to his wife with the look of a man who is watching his entire world explode right in front of him.

“I am changing majors…to criminal justice. I want to be a Police Officer.”

“But you are doing so well. We talked…we talked about a job after you graduate. What about all of that? What happened to that?” Michael asks clearly trying to understand.

“We talked about it Dad but it was a pretty one-sided conversation. None of this was ever what I wanted and I am tired of pretending. For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a cop. I just never had the guts to say it.”

“A cop.” Michael echoes softly as he leans back in his chair.

“The hell you are.” Laura chides.

Michael looks to his wife with a mix of surprise and sadness. He knows in that moment that he is sitting front row center for the spectacle that is to be the end of his family.

“Excuse me?” Nicole had not expected this conversation to go well but even she is surprised at the amount of venom in her mom’s voice.

“Correct me if I am wrong Nicole but I believe we sign the checks for that education of yours and for your car and apartment. All of that is based on a future that we discussed for years. Do you not recall those discussions?”

“What I recall is you telling me ad nauseam what you expected of me. Never once did either of you take a moment to ask me what I wanted and I was too young, too insecure to protest but I’m not that lonely, timid little kid desperate for your approval or your love anymore. I’m a grown woman and I know what I want. I feel it inside of me, I can be a good police officer, maybe even a great one. I want to protect people…to help them.”

“And you think that's what cops do? Have you watched the news lately?”

“That's not fair mom. Sure there are bad cops but there are bad lawyers too. If enough good people enter the field maybe it could be better.”

“You are living in a dream world Nicole. That's not how this world works. This world doesn't change and I will be damned before I let my daughter ruin her life because of a childish dream.”

“Really mom? How do you intend to stop me?”

Laura leans forward placing her elbows onto the table, “I suppose I can’t but I will be damned if a penny of my money goes to such frivolous pursuits. I can't have a hand in you entering a field where you put yourself in danger day in and day out. If you do this you are on your own. We will cut you off completely.”

“Laura, we should talk about thi…”

Laura waves her hand toward Michael effectively silencing him and he looks like he wants to protest further but doesn't.

Nicole feels her chest about to explode with anger. “Are you fucking threatening me? You will cut me off? You know what…let me save you the effort, I cut myself off. Keep your money. I have taken care of myself all my life. Why should now be any different?” She stands quickly and in doing so knocks her chair over. “I’m fucking out of here. Thanks for proving once again that I am not the child you wanted. For the life of me I can't understand why you had me at all. It's a real shame you didn't have more children, maybe you would have gotten at least one you genuinely cared about. One that wasn't just always a huge disappointment.” Nicole notices a flash of pain in both of her parents' faces at her statement but cant find it in her to care.

She throws her napkin onto her plate and runs up the stairs to get her things. Laura empties her glass of wine then refills her glass to the rim. When Nicole comes back down the stairs moments later she heads straight for the door. Michael stands and follows her.

“Nicole, wait…”

Nicole stops for a moment in the door.

“What dad? Do you finally have something to say?”

“I…I…do you have a way to get home? To school I mean? Do you need money?”

“Money? I thought we established I wasn't getting anymore of your money.”

“I never said that. Just let me…give us time to…”

“Dad, we both know this is… that this has alway been inevitable. I’m tired of not being enough. You know where I am if you change your mind but if not…I’m not coming back.”

Nicole finished her story then knocked back the last half of her beer. She had stopped crying somewhere in the middle and just sat there in front of her wife silently resolute for a few moments before she began to speak again.

“It was the perfect culmination of a lifetime of being Michael and Laura Haught’s only child. The perfect end really. I was finally free. For the first time in my life I didn't need their permission or their acceptance. My life was mine. I always thought that would feel amazing, empowering. All of my life to that moment had been spent asking them for permission to do what made me happy and being denied, shot down. I forged names on permission slips for everything from sports to class field trips. To this day my school doesn't know what Laura Haught’s real signature looks like. It was always, ‘What if you get hurt?.’ One year my class was going on a trip to a swimming hole in a rock quarry. It was the same trip that every fifth grader at that school had gone to every year for six years. A right of passage for all fifth graders before they moved on to middle school. I couldn't wait for my chance and when it finally came my mother wouldn't let me go. She said it was too dangerous. ‘What if you drown? What if no one was watching for just long enough and you drown in the water surrounded by your classmates?’ She refused to sign the permission slip and kept me home that day. I hated her for it. I swear, if she could have, she would have locked me in my room forever. For most of my life I dreamt of walking out of that house but that day, the day it really happened…it was one of the saddest days of my life.”

Waverly listened. For hours she held her wife and listened all the while feeling an ache in her chest for the beautiful woman in her arms. A week ago she was contempt to hate Laura and Michael but today, armed with the knowledge of the loss they endured when Laura had her miscarriage and the struggle to conceive again that followed, she felt something a little different. Something that felt a lot like…empathy.

“The girls are walking.”

“OKaay?” Nicole replies a bit confused as to why her wife picked this moment to share that information.

“I know you've seen them dabble in it but recently, today…especially Kate. It's official, they're mobile.”

Waverly smiles nervously at her wife as she continues.

“I still remember when Gus started walking…we were scared to death. You went around putting padding on every hard edge you could find. All those feelings are bubbling back up. It’s exciting and I’m happy for them, proud even but it also makes me worry. What if they fall? What if they wander off? A million what if’s? I suspect all parents go through this but I can't help but think that it's a little harder for me because of…because of our daughter that we lost. Michael and Laura knew that pain and I think they never let go of it.”

Waverly paused for a moment to compose herself. She didn't want her emotions to stop her from saying what she felt needed to be said.

“And then there is you. I worry about you everyday when you leave our home to go looking for danger.”

“Waves, I sit at a desk and push paper.”

“Now you do…mostly. It hasn't always been that way and you know when big calls come in you are the first one there. It’s not easy-being a sheriff's wife-and if I’m being honest, I find myself terrified that one of the kids will want to follow in your footsteps. I try not to imagine being a sheriff’s mother.”

“I…I guess I never really thought about any of that.”

“I know, I know you haven't and I have purposely never talked about it. I don't want you worrying about me. I want you to concentrate on yourself when you are at work. I know you are good at your job…better than good and I know I can talk to you about it if I get scared. Still, I kiss you goodbye every morning and my breath catches for just a moment with the thought that it could be the last kiss we share.”

“Waverly I…”

“Nicole it's ok, I'm ok and I would never want you to be someone different or give up something you love just like I would never want the kids to not walk, or run or play even though I worry they could get hurt. It’s not easy sometimes but I have support. I have you and my sister and that makes all the difference. I don’t think your parents had each other the same way we do. Maybe they didn't have someone like Wynonna…”

Nicole shoots her a look and Waverly chuckles.

“Ok, they DEFINITELY didn't have someone like Wynonna. My point is, maybe they never got over the miscarriage. Maybe that loss made them feel over protective of you. They were so worried that you would get hurt or…or worse that they just couldn't get past it. I dont think your Mom ever made it back to you and your Dad after her loss and I feel like I can understand that. I was there Nicole. I was there and for a while I walked on a ledge that scared me. I wasn't sure I could ever feel ok again. I wasn't sure I would ever feel worthy of you and Gus because I couldn't protect my daughter, I couldn't keep her safe and…alive.”

“Waverly you don’t…”

“No, Nicole. Please, let me finish. I wasn't sure I could ever heal but I did. I did but I can see…I can understand why some people maybe wouldn’t, how maybe she couldn't. I also remember how much you struggled and I knew it wasn't just about the baby. I knew you were worried about me and we have no way to know what would have happened to us, to our family if things went a different way. I climbed down off my ledge into your arms but I think Laura sort of fell off hers and maybe it broke Michael that he couldn't catch her. Maybe neither of them ever made it all the way back.”

Waverly places a soft, affectionate kiss on Nicole's forehead. “I’m not saying any of that makes it ok. They made you feel lonely and scared and unloved and a part of me will always despise them both for that. I just…I’m just saying life throws a lot of things our way and not everyone handles it the same way or at the same pace. Maybe it has taken Michael ALL of this time to heal and if you feel like it was too long and you don't want him in our lives that's ok. It's ok and I support you but if you feel like even a part of you still wants to try then I support you in that too. Either way, it's not selfish, you are not being selfish and I PROMISE YOU our family will be just fine, better than fine because we will always have each other.”

“So you think I should let him come?” Nicole said softly.

“No. I mean I think you should do what you feel in your heart is right because if there is one thing in this whole wide world that I have faith in…that I trust…it’s your heart. Whatever you decide will be right Nicole. It may not be easy but it will be right and your children and I will be here, by your side, for all of it. We love you Nicole. I love you.”

“I love you too Waverly. My life with you is so much more than anything I ever dared to hope for and there is nothing and no one that could ever change that. I want him to come. I want him to see what I have and who I have become and if he chooses to end it there I will know that I did what I could. That I tried, that I was the better person.”

Waverly pulls Nicole into a hug so warm and full of affection that Nicole feels instantly sure she has made the right decision.

“Then it’s settled. Now there is just one thing left to figure out before your Dad comes here on Saturday.”

“What’s that?’

“How do we keep Wynonna away from him for an entire day?”

Chapter Text

Ward Earp never considered himself a smart man, still he chastised himself for his own stupidity at this moment.

Stupid, stupid, stupid idiot… He thought to and of himself repeatedly as the scene around him unfolded. He had been stupid enough to think he could broker a deal with a bunch of demons. He had failed, of course, as he had done with every other endeavor in his life. This time though, the consequences were much higher. He watched as the Seven pulled his eldest daughter from their home. He felt her screams in his bones.

“Stay here.” he grumbled to Wynonna as he ran out the door.

“This wasn't part of the deal, let her go. Let all of them go and you can have me, we will work it all out…”

Ward was still begging for the life of his daughters when the shot rang out. Every demon within earshot turned to see where it had come from. They knew it was Peacemaker, they all knew the sound of that particular gun being fired. They heard it in their nightmares.

It wasn't possible. They had Ward Earp in their grasp which meant they had the Heir in their grasp which meant…

“Wynonna.” The name escaped Ward’s lips seconds before the bullet split his skull open.

Wynonna.

The Heir apparent.

A new, healthy dose of terror raced through the sclerotic veins of every revenant in the Triangle. They had just moved from the frying pan to the fire in a matter of seconds. Each of them spent multiple lifetimes living in fear of Peacemaker but that fear depreciated with every day Ward Earp wielded her. Now though, they shuddered at a glimpse of the potential new heir.

Wynonna fucking Earp.

She was a force. She could actually break the curse. She could send them all to hell forever.

On that day a hero’s destiny was laid bare. A true heir emerged to end the Earp curse and keep her family safe from any and all threats.

All threats including emotionally abusive fathers suddenly vying for a place in her best friend's life. A place in her sister’s life. She wasn't having it…not yet.

The announcement that it was time to open gifts presented Wynonna with the opportunity she had been waiting for all day. Some alone time with her best friend's shitty father.

She darted straight to her truck to retrieve her trusty side piece to assist her in driving home the point in her planned talk with Nicole’s father.

The feel of Peacemaker in her hand felt so natural. It’s presence in her life had brought many hardships but she couldn’t deny that she felt powerful when she held it. She and Peacemaker have been through some shit and somehow found their way through - together. Thanks to Peacemaker she was the Goddamn Heir and the Angels Champion.

She stood tall and tucked Peacemaker into the back of her pants as she strode confidently in the direction of a completely unsuspecting Michael Haught who had made the epically bad decision to finish his whiskey alone on the porch while everyone else was inside.

Wynonna couldn’t help but smirk as she closed the distance between them. Michael Haught was about to get roasted like a vegan marshmallow.

As she passed by one of the tables she picked up a half empty bottle of whiskey and a glass. She poured herself a shot as she climbed the stairs of the porch and knocked it back without flinching.

”Haught.” She said solemnly as she poured herself another heftier shot. Michael looked up just in time to watch Wynonna reach out to fill his nearly empty glass.

Michael put up his hand to indicate he was all good on the whiskey front, “Oh, thanks but I was just about to…” he began as he gestured toward the door.

Wynonna shook her head and touched the back of the chair in front of her. “Take a seat Mitch, have a drink with me.”

“It’s…uh…it’s Michael actually.” Michael offers as he reluctantly takes a seat.

“Right…whatever.” Wynonna makes a move to sit next to him but jumps up quickly when Peacemaker blocks her from doing so. She laughs maniacally as she reaches back and makes a show of pulling Peacemaker from her waistband. She makes sure Michael Haught gets an up close and personal view of every inch of the buntline’s impressive barrel before she sets it down on the table in front of them. If she wasn't a little bit of her father’s daughter she might have felt a little bad for Michael as he took a long swig of his drink and swallowed it down hard. Wynonna could swear he was sweatier than he had been a few minutes ago.

This was going swimmingly.

“That’s…that’s an impressive weapon you have there.”

“Yep, she’s something alright.”

“It’s in amazing condition considering how old it must be. Is it accurate?”

“Dead on balls…it’s been known to kill deadbeat dads at twenty paces.”

Michael nearly chokes on his drink, “What?”

“What?” Wynonna answers.

“Did you just say…”

“Never mind that Martin. You and I need to have a little talk.”

“Michael.” He whispers under his breath.

“Right, isn't that what I said?”

“No, you said…”

“Anyway, Mitch or Martin or…whatever…we need to talk and you should listen closely because there WILL be a test.” They both settle into their seats and Wynonna fills their glasses.

“When Nicole first came to town I wasn’t a fan. She was straightlaced, bossy and a little cocky. At least, that's the way I interpreted her. The first time I saw her interact with my baby sister I knew she was in love but I didn't think anything of it because Waverly was about as straight as they come. Dating a super macho Rodeo cowboy and everything. When I found out they were a thing I got defensive. Waverly has lost so many people in her life. Even I left her when she needed me most.

Our family is…it’s special, this town is special and I thought for sure Nicole would run the second things got real, the second they got hard. She didn't. She didn't even blink. She stayed and she loved Waverly the way Waverly always deserved to be loved.

Along the way, it became clear that her love didn't stop with Waverly. She helped me with the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. It’s a long story but she helped me keep my daughter safe and I will NEVER forget that. I will never EVER forget that.

I’ve said it before and I say it again now…the two most important people in my life love your daughter with all of their hearts which means that I…that I love her too. She is one of the best people I know. She is my family and my best friend and I will do whatever it takes to keep her safe, physically and mentally.”

“I understand…” Michael begins but he is quickly cut off.

“No, Michael, I don't think you do. Not yet. You broke Nicole’s heart. It’s despite you that she became the amazing human she is. It’s taken her a lifetime to get here and she is risking it all by giving you this chance.”

“And you dont think she should.”

“Fuck no I dont think she should. I don't think you deserve her and I know you don't deserve Waverly and those kids but fortunately for you, I don't get a say.”

Micheal puts his drink down next to Peacemaker and faces Wynonna head on. “You are right, I dont deserve any of this. I was a weak and broken man and I failed her with everything I did and everything I didn't do. A lesser person than Nicole would never have allowed me the honor of being here today and I am so thankful. I have changed. I have worked my ass off to be better. To be worthy of every minute of this day…including this one.”

Wynonna reacts to the last part with a surprised but respectful nod.

“I deserve this moment and I am happy for it because it means my daughter is safe. That she has people who love her, who deserve her. I am not going to fail at this. I am not going to fail her and her family, not this time, not ever again. I’m terrified by all of this and it has nothing to do with the extremely large gun on the table in front of us. I’m terrified that my daughter will send me away. That she will decide she is better off without me because she will be right, up until now she has absolutely been better off without me. I can't change who I was but I am not the same pesron and who I am now…I’m better and I know I will be even better with Nicole in my life because she makes everyone around her better.”

Wynonna squints her eyes at Michael as though she is surveying him. “Fuck.” She says. She picks Peacemaker up off the table and returns it to her waistband as she stands.

“Is something wrong? Did I say something…” Michael says warily as he watches Wynonna stand.

“No! That's the second time a man has shut me down with the perfect response. I’m not kissing you though.”

“Kissi…no, no we definitely won’t be…”

“Relax Maude, I said I’m not going to kiss you and I’m not going to kill you either…at least not tonight.” She says as she opens the door to go inside.

“Ok, Maude isn't even a man's name,” he whispers shakily under his breath as he follows Wynonna inside, fearful of protesting too loudly but smiling widely.

He doesn't know Wynonna but he knows she is important to his daughter and he feels inexplicably in awe of her. Michael Haught knew it was significant that Wynonna was letting him follow her into the house, to her family. He promised himself he would never let any of them down ever again.

Chapter Text

Nicole was sitting at her desk trying desperately to make a dent in the giant stack of papers that littered it. The meeting with her father, the twins' birthday party and the ever looming Eve situation (as it had come to be called) had combined to distract her just enough from her work that it had grown into this mess and she chastised herself for allowing it to happen. She huffed under her breath as she signed her name to yet another report and was in the process of placing it back into its file when the knock on her door came.

She had been so distracted that she hadn’t noticed her father walk into the station. She smiled hesitantly as she stood to let him in.

“Hey D-Dad. Come on in.”

Michael pretended not to notice Nicole’s stutter and chose to bask in the fact that she called him Dad. He smiled as he slid past her.

“Hi Nicole. Sorry to catch you off guard. I hope I’m not bothering you.”

“No, no, it’s fine. I'm just catching up on some paperwork. Truth be told, I could use the break. I thought you’d be on the road by now is all.”

“Yeah, I did too. Turns out that party took a lot out of us so we slept in. Remind me never to drink with Wynonna again. I’m still feeling it and Marjorie is sleeping in the car as we speak.”

They share a laugh, “Yeah, I probably should have warned you about Wynonna.”

“No worries. I really liked her and she sure does love you. It makes me feel a little better knowing you have her in your life.”

“Honestly, Waverly and I were pretty terrified to have you two meet. Wynonna can be…she is pretty fiercely loyal and protective.”

“Oh yeah, I got that. She gave me a shovel talk.”

“No! When? I thought we did a pretty good job at running interference.”

Michael laughs at the memory, “It was while the girls were opening gifts. It was also VERY sincere and compendious. The very large gun was a bit much though.”

“Oh my God, I'm so sorry. She definitely has a flair for the dramatic.”

“It’s fine, like I said, I’m glad you have her and so many people around you who love you the way you deserve to be loved. It’s something you never got at home so it’s comforting to know you have it now. I hope to be a part of it all moving forward.”

“Dad…” Nicole starts but Michael cuts her off as he pulls an envelope out of his pocket.

“Nicole, I…your Mom and I made a lot of mistakes in our lives but never one bigger than the mistake we made with you. With the way we treated you and the way we failed to treat you. But it was never because we didn't love you. I think it was more that we forgot how to love you-and each other for that matter. I can never take it back but I can be better moving forward. I want to very much and I think…I KNOW your Mom wanted that too. She just ran out of time.”

He holds the letter up to give it to Nicole and she immediately recognizes the handwriting on the front.

“Things got pretty ugly towards the end Nicole. Brain cancer is a vicious disease and it stole just about every part of your Mom from me before it finally stole her body. She made me promise not to call you. She didn't want you to see her like that and she didn't want you to feel like you had to forgive her-forgive us because she was dying. She wrote this letter to you in one of the last weeks of coherency that she had. She told me I was to hand it to you someday. She was very specific about that. She did not want it mailed to you. She said she wanted me to make my peace with you in person someday and then give you this so she could make hers.

That night I called you to tell you she was dying…I broke my promise to her but I was so afraid. She was going fast and I didn't want to give you another reason to hate me. I didn't want to let her die without you knowing. It was stupid and weak of me. I failed her right up to the end.”

Michael wiped the tears from his cheeks and shook his head, “Anyway, I’m here. I hope you can forgive me Nicole. You are my daughter and I have always loved you and I will love you forever. I have made my peace and now I can give you this, I can give your Mother a chance to make hers, at least I can do that for her.”

Nicole stood in stunned silence as she listened. She felt tears in her eyes and a very large lump in her throat as she took the envelope from her fathers hand and before she could stop herself she pulled him into a hug.

“I forgive you Dad, I love you too. We can work on this. I want to work on this.” She held him there for a long time and they just cried. When they finally pulled away there was nothing left to be said.

Struggling to pull himself back together, Michael straightened his shirt and motioned to the door, “Well, I guess I better…Marjorie is waiting and…”

“Yeah, you two have a long trip ahead of you.”

“Ok then. Goodbye Nicole.”

“Goodbye Dad.”

Michael smiled when Nicole didn't stumble over the word Dad for the first time since she walked out of their home all those years ago.

As he walked out the door to her office Nicole called out one last time.

“Let me know when you make it home.”

Michael stopped and turned back to Nicole with tears once again threatening to fall. “I will. Give everyone a kiss for me.”

And moments later he was gone.

Nicole sat at her desk and stared at the envelope before her. She picked it up to open it but found she simply couldn't. She couldn't open it and see that handwriting, smell the faint odor of her mothers favorite soap that was bound to still be present, read the words of a woman who had always been such a mystery to her. She wanted to know her mother but she never did and now that she is long gone she never will know her. This letter was all she had left of the woman and she found herself incapable of facing that fact. At least, not alone, so she called her wife.

On her occasional visits, Waverly noticed that sometimes the place where Nicole buried the necklace her mother gave her and the picture of their baby was always meticulously maintained and sometimes, if Alice had been there, it was decorated with notes or flowers or drawings. Whatever the decor, it always had an air of reverence and Waverly felt a little heaviness in her chest when she visited. It was her wife’s special place. It was a place of peace and quiet and she felt safe there.

She wasn’t sure what to make of her wife’s request to meet there today. She could tell by the shake to Nicole’s voice that something emotional had happened but she didn't ask any questions. She didn't want to upset her wife any more than she clearly already was. So, she asked Rachel, who had come to town for the party to stay with the kids while she made her way out to wait for Nicole to arrive.

Nicole couldn't help the smile that pulled at her lips when she laid eyes upon Waverly sitting with her back against the tree. She found she was helpless to stop smiling anytime she saw her wife.

“Hey Sheriff, welcome home.” Waverly chirped when she saw Nicole approaching.

“Hi.” Nicole said simply as she took a seat beside her wife.

They made some small talk for a few moments. Waverly not wanting to push Nicole to share anything before she was ready and Nicole being…not ready. Eventually a calm silence fell upon them both and they basked in its peace for a while until Nicole decided it was time to share the details of her day with her wife.

“My Dad stopped by the station on his way out of town.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. He said…he reiterated that he was sorry and he told me he loved me. He said he always loved me and he always will.”

“And how did that make you feel?”

“I feel…same as before…like I don't need him. I have you and our kids and Rachel and Wynonna and Doc and Alice. I don’t need him, Waverly.”

“That’s all true. You will always have us. I love you so much Nicole. But I'm sensing there is more to it than that.”

“Yeah, I guess there is. I don’t need him but I…I can’t seem to stop myself from WANTING him. I WANT to have my Dad in my life - in our lives. He wants it and I want it so I - I forgave him. I forgive him Waves. I want to show our kids that I am strong enough to forgive. I have spent years running from my parents, hoping that the distance would somehow make me love them less but it hasn’t. I missed them and I don’t want to miss him anymore.”

“I’m happy for you Nicole and I always knew you were strong enough to forgive. You are the strongest person I know.”

“You know, despite everything my Mother said I still wanted her to meet you. I always felt that if she had just met you once…she would have loved you. Everyone does.”

Nicole takes the envelope out of her pocket and hands it to Waverly.

“Dad told me things got pretty bad for my mother in the end. He said she wrote this letter to me a few weeks before she passed, when she was still pretty lucid. She told him he had to hand it to me in person after he made his peace with me. This is her effort at making peace with me.

They both look thoughtfully down at the envelope.

“I can't Waverly. I can’t read it so I did the only thing I could. I called you. Will you read it to me? I feel like I can handle whatever is in that letter if I have you to help me. Will you…please?”

Waverly moves herself closer to Nicole and gently wipes the tears from Nicole’s cheeks, “Of course I will my love.”

Slowly and carefully Waverly opens the envelope. Her hands are slightly shaky and she fights back a wave of emotion. She was about to get her first glimpse into the psyche of the woman who brought Nicole into the world and she had absolutely no idea what to expect.

She glanced at the first few lines to get a feel for the handwriting and tone then she began to read…

Dear Nicole,

Lately my mind has been failing me. I find myself forgetting the most basic things. It's scary and it's humiliating but through it all the one thing it has not been able to take from me is you. I remember everything about you. The way it felt to give birth to you and hold you while you slept. I swear that I can remember your smile as though you were standing in front of me. You were so kind and smart and so, so beautiful. I have no doubt that you are still all of those things and more.

I wonder what has become of you. Have you found that woman you dreamt of? Do you have children? Did you become a Police Officer? Most importantly, are you happy? I hope you are. I hope you have all of those things and that they make you happy. You deserve it all, my beautiful daughter. You deserve all of the love and happiness in the World. All of the things that I never gave you.

I know there will be a part of you that thinks it's easy for me now that I face death to have regrets and feel remorse for the relationship we had. I assure you, I have had these feelings for much longer than just the past few weeks. I recall the day you left, it felt as though the air had been sucked right out of my lungs. I felt at that moment that the damage had become irreparable. I was so embarrassed by my words and my actions. I should have stopped you. I should have pulled you into my arms and apologized for so many things…for everything. I didn't and I have regretted it every single moment since.

There is no excuse for any of it. I should have loved you better. I should have loved you and your father better but something broke inside of me long ago and I just couldn't get myself back. I spent most of my life blaming myself for things that I see now where out of my control. I couldn't convince myself that I was worthy of joy or of love - especially your love. I believed you were better off without me so I removed myself from your life in the cruelest way possible and I have hated myself for that for a very long time.

I have a disease that is eating me alive from the inside out. It is taking away the last remaining joy I had left, my mind. A part of me feels as though I am getting exactly what I deserve. Still, another part of me recognizes that I am human and as such I have made mistakes. So I am writing to you today to tell you I am sorry. I am so very sorry for not showing you and telling you every day that I love you. You are my greatest accomplishment, my greatest joy, the love of my life. I hope that as you read this you can find it within you to believe me. I hope you can look past my deeds and see the broken woman behind them. The woman who would have given anything to figure out a way back to you and your father.

Speaking of your father. I robbed him of you and you of him. I was the iceberg that sank this family. He would never have let you leave if it weren't for me. I think he always hoped I would just snap out of it one day and that we would find the happiness we once had. He believed in me, he believed I would recover from our loss. I failed him just as I failed you. He’s a great man and he loves you more than you will ever know. Forgive him for the sin of loving me so much that he let you leave. I never knew a man could break into so many pieces as he did that day.

I made your father promise me he would not call you and that he would someday hand deliver this letter. I do not want your pity and I don't want you to forgive me because I am dying. If you ever find it in your heart to forgive me I want it to happen organically. It should be because you feel it in your soul. When that happens, if it happens, I promise you I will know it no matter where I am.

All the love in my heart,

Mom

They were both openly weeping as Waverly reverently placed the letter back into the envelope. They sat beneath the tree in Nicole’s favorite place and held each other.

“I forgive her, Waverly, I forgive them both.”

“I know Sweetheart, I know.”