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Chapter Text

Yu Junghyeok should've realized that it was strange.

He should've suspected something was suspicious the first time he met Kim Dokja.

Because, what was the chance of him meeting a stranger who knew him inside and out despite never even once seeing each other before?

It should be zero.

Yet it happened.

Yu Junghyeok's past was a mystery. When he was 15, he woke up in an apartment bed with some of his memories missing. No parents, no family, no clear background. Yet somehow, he knew that his life was rather ordinary and that he had never encountered many difficulties in life, despite being essentially abandoned.

When he was 20, a child no older than four was standing on his doorstep, anxiously saying that she was his little sister. That sent his life down a flurry, because he'd never interacted with any children, ever. But anyway, it was still a peaceful and normal daily life once he got used to his little sister's presence.

His life was normal. Going to school, establishing himself in the gaming world, doing house chores, streaming, going to his little sister's parent's day, competing, occasionally dodging rabid fans, investigating his parents' whereabouts… very normal.

When he was 25, his mundane daily life was shaken when he met a certain man after signing a beta-test contract with a third-rate gaming company.

This man, Kim Dokja, was like a contradiction incarnate.

He was polite yet rude, passive yet stubborn, lazy yet diligent, apathetic yet compassionate, weak yet strong, cunning yet sincere, bold yet lowkey, kind yet ruthless, dim yet bright… and he was incredibly lonely.

Yu Junghyeok should've had nothing to do with him, but the moment he laid his eyes on that face, Yu Junghyeok felt like breathing for the first time.

Yu Junghyeok should've realized that it was strange.

He should've questioned further why meeting Kim Dokja made the ever-present fog inside his mind to clear away. It was as if he had been waiting for so long just to meet Kim Dokja.

That man just stirred him in a way no one ever could.

The slightly-older man claimed that his over-familiarity came from the fact that Yu Junghyeok was ridiculously similar to someone he knew, who turned out to be a protagonist of a third-rate apocalyptic webnovel. How absurd.

Yu Junghyeok should be angry over that novel. It was as though someone was writing an alternate universe fanfiction of him. Not the first time it happened, but still, this one was pretty shameless. He should be hunting down the author, who had likely been stalking him for quite a long time to be able to write such a detailed characterization (no, he didn't read it, he just heard all of Kim Dokja's babblings.) He should be grossed out, should be doing all he could to get Kim Dokja and his trash webnovel out of his life.

Yet here he was, listening to Kim Dokja rambling about his trashy protagonist and paying attention to his every word.

He would never admit that he was jealous of that other Yu Junghyeok whenever he saw Kim Dokja's eyes sparkle with admiration every time he talked about that novel.

Yu Junghyeok should've realized that it was strange.

He stared with bated breath when Kim Dokja gave him his first genuine smile.

"Thanks," he said, something in his eyes incredibly soft and melancholic, "It's the first time someone doesn't try to fake their interest—or the lack of it—when I talk about this."

And like a fool, Yu Junghyeok fell into the orbit of this star.

When he was 27, Yu Junghyeok steeled himself to ask his first love out on a date.

When he received a bewildered nod paired with a completely flushed face as an answer, Yu Junghyeok's world seemed like it tilted back into the right axis.

When he was 28, it began.

Yu Junghyeok grumbled as he took out his phone and informed his boyfriend about yet another failed attempt to locate his parents.

He didn’t want to dampen their mood, as they were nearing the first anniversary of their relationship, but Yu Junghyeok couldn’t help but long for the silent embrace of Dokja. There was nothing he wanted more than to let Dokja whisper sweet comforts as he enveloped him in solace.

See, that was something that a normal Yu Junghyeok would never do; to show his insecurities and frustration out in the open. But Kim Dokja, like the weird natural force that he was, made it so frighteningly easy to just melt into his care.

Yu Junghyeok should be afraid of how tightly—and easily—Kim Dokja grasped his heart. He should be afraid of how much reign Kim Dokja held over him, but he couldn't help but yearn for him like a dying man in a desert over a glass of cold water.

Hell, he would still give the glass of water to Kim Dokja even if he was dying in a desert.

Junghyeok looked at his own reflection on the phone's surface.

He had become too pathetic.

(He had become too happy.)

The dull life he once had seemed like a pale dream now that Kim Dokja had painted his life in a myriad of colors.

The phone's vibration jerked him out of his reverie, the screen lighting up to view Dokja's message.

[Wanna go on a quick date?]

Without him knowing, the edge of his mouth twitched up. It was frightening how accurate Dokja could read his mood and how easy it was for him to lift it. So Junghyeok sent a quick reply, pocketed his phone, and strode to the subway station, trying to not visibly skip his steps.

When he stepped into the subway car of the 3rd line—the same line Dokja usually rode home from work—his mind was full of a weird mixture between his disappointment over his lack of progress in finding out about his origin and the giddy excitement to meet and bask in his boyfriend's presence. A quick text told him that Dokja was in the next car. He was too focused on trying to get to where his boyfriend was that he failed to notice the ominous man holding something shaped like a bomb from a common mystery film until someone smacked his shoulder and screams filled the air.

But he didn't have time to react to the sudden terrorism attack, as a furry white creature suddenly manifested above their heads and introduced themself as a 'dokkaebi'.

Dread filled Junghyeok's chest the more he processed what the dokkaebi was saying.

They had to kill to survive.

Somehow, a faraway piece of his mind vaguely recognized this scene; this scenario.

Ah, yes, it was similar to that story Kim Dokja used to talk about all the time.

His face paled, the fear of death and the horror of the scenario the dokkaebi just gave them sent tremors into his fists.

This was real.

He didn't know how it could happen, but this was real.

His clarity of mind came crashing down soon enough, however, because the bomber was cackling madly as he made his way towards the door that connected this cabin to the next one, all while swinging his weapons and killing the still shell-shocked people.

The fear over his own death flew out of Yu Junghyeok's mind as a flash of urgency and determination lit up in his eyes, because he remembered that Dokja was in that other cabin. If the bomb exploded over there, there was no way the other side wouldn't be affected.

That absolutely couldn't happen.

Stilling his shaking fists, Yu Junghyeok reached over to pick a weapon the terrorist had dropped. A wrench.

He didn't want to take a life. He didn't want to become a murderer. But when he thought about Kim Dokja, he found out that he was willing to stain his hand with blood if it meant he could protect him. It was alarming how easily he came to that resolution; however, he had no leisure moment to ponder over it.

Determined, he broke to a sprint, and before he knew it, he was face to face with the mad bomber.

There was a particular pair of eyes that was staring at him, sending an unknown jolt through his spine.

In an instant, the world was morphing. Everything felt so sharp, so vivid, so graphic. Immediately, in a slow motion, he could read everything about himself and his surroundings as stats and analysis. The world had become digitized, and it was as if he was moving his avatar's body inside a game.

He blinked.

It was over in a flash.

Alas, even his newly awakened attribute couldn't detect the sudden explosion of the bomb, which should be fatal, because Junghyeok was the closest from it. Yet strangely, there was something enveloping him and protected him from the force of the explosion.

At the same time, that unknown stare was back on him. However, he didn't see anyone standing in the direction of that gaze.

"...Who?"

His attention was soon pulled back to the dokkaebi, however, much to his irritation. Still staring at the direction of that unknown gaze, Junghyeok listened to the dokkaebi's explanation about sponsor selection.

Yu Junghyeok gritted his teeth. This was unnecessarily long. He needed to quickly confirm if Dokja was okay. There was also Mia, who should still be in her dorm. He had to quickly get out of here and take Dokja to get Mia before making new plans for survival.

Flicking his eyes back to the task at hand, Junghyeok activated his attribute and analyzed the choices in front of him.

Junghyeok blinked.

This new constellation's modifier was a little too arrogant for his tastes. However, it was the most safely-normal one among the four. The Abyssal Black-Flame Dragon sounded impressive, but he had an inkling that there was a catch to a power as great as a dragon.

Dokja's distant murmuring came into his mind. His boyfriend used to talk so much about this event, blabbing about the constellations and what move he would take to get the best results.

Yu Junghyeok's left eyebrow ticked.

"I've made up my mind. I will…"

Something slammed the back of his head.

When he came to, the sponsor selection was long since over and there were messages from the system to wait for the second scenario. He should be upset that he missed the chance to get a sponsor, but well, he had chosen to not pick a sponsor anyway, so it wasn't like he missed much.

Besides, all of it didn't even cross his mind as the urgency to confirm Dokja's safety was pushed to the forefront of his mind. He didn't like the cold foreboding that slowly churned in his gut.

He ignored the Demon King of Salvation as he frantically searched the next cabin. There were two survivors, a burly man and a high school boy. He ignored them as well, inspecting each corpse in search of a familiar face, dread filling his lungs and hindered his breathing the longer he searched.

Kim Dokja was nowhere to be seen.

The two survivors from the next cabin were called Kim Namwun and Lee Hyeonseong.

Yu Junghyeok had interrogated them about Kim Dokja, of course, but both of them repeatedly said that they didn't see anyone with his description on their car. The thorough investigation towards other cabins yielded no results either.

It was as if Kim Dokja had never ridden that train in the first place.

The Demon King of Salvation was a weird constellation.

Not only did he give revelations and hints for the upcoming scenarios, the Demon King also insisted on taking some random people with him. A high-school girl, an ex-bartender, a former landlord… Yu Junghyeok couldn't figure out what was so special about them.

Even though he could only read the indirect messages of the constellations' interactions, Yu Junghyeok had heard enough to guess the general behavior of the Demon King.

He was a poor constellation, never sponsored him any coins or bribed him with items. But instead, he sent little hints and instructions whenever he was stuck with a problem.

(It was painfully too late when he realized just how insane exactly the amount of plausibility sacrificed by the Demon King each time he sent those little revelations through a private channel.)

"By the way, how come you know so much about the scenarios, captain?"

Yu Junghyeok stared at the Great Hall for a long time before he answered.

"…Someone is helping me out."

Through Demon King of Salvation's guidance, he managed to recruit Han Donghun, the Hermit King, into his group.

Yu Junghyeok's hope was faint, but still existed.

Despite his appearances, Kim Dokja was a cautious man. Even though the internet had been rendered useless in this apocalyptic world, he wouldn't just throw his phone away.

Whatever flimsy hope Yu Junghyeok had, he'd take it.

The phone in his hand trembled as he connected to the internet using the Hermit King's skill, trying desperately to reach Dokja's number.

The line said the number he dialed didn't exist.

Yu Mia asked first.

"So, oppa, where is the person you really wanna introduce to me?"

Yu Junghyeok disguised his grimace as a strained smile.

"He's not here right now. I promise I will introduce you right after I find him."

Yu Mia hummed. "So it's a 'he'?"

Yu Junghyeok had stopped asking out loud about Kim Dokja.

For some reason, the information about Kim Dokja was erased, and even saying his name out loud would result in censorship.

The fire was still burning inside his chest, but it was hard to keep hoping about someone in a world that had forgotten that they existed.

He was a King of a Kingless World.

What a useless title.

His world had been kingless ever since that fateful day.

The first time he met Lee Seolhwa, he saw his own reflection on the woman’s dull eyes.

"You’ve lost someone," she said.

"I’ve lost someone," he echoed.

Lee Seolhwa smiled, bitter. "Similar people are drawn together, I see."

Both of them were drawn together by the same pain.

The second sponsor selection was commencing. Yu Junghyeok's current status made dozens of constellations flock onto him like ants, competing on bribery. His eyes blinked at Demon King of Salvation's modifier, now perching first on the list of his candidates.

Strangely, something warm curled in his chest at the sight.

So Yu Junghyeok did whatever he wanted.

"That's not enough."

He could practically hear the gasps of the constellations.

"There are far too many willing to give me such useless things. Isn't there anyone willing to share information on hidden pieces?"

He might come off as way too full of himself, but he didn't care. He needed a backer that wasn't just strong, but also knowledgeable.

A certain someone had blabbed about this certain story to him an eternity ago.

There were so many hidden pieces and intriguing slivers of censored information throughout that novel. But sadly, Yu Junghyeok didn’t remember them well because Kim Dokja mostly preferred to talk about the protagonist—the one that had the same name as him, the irony—than about the actual story and the worldbuilding. It also didn't help that he'd always gotten sucked into staring at Kim Dokja's eyes more than actually processing his words. Besides, it had been so long since Kim Dokja stopped talking so much about it.

He needed all the secret information if he wanted to find out what happened to Dokja.

"Is there anyone who can show me something similar to the revelations of the future?"

Since the beginning of this apocalypse, only one being had given him this kind of help.

"You all are worse than this Demon King of Salvation, then."

A smug smirk ghosted the end of Yu Junghyeok's lips. This unofficial backer of his seemed way too content in stirring up the <Star Stream>.

"Demon King of Salvation, I have a question."

He was a coward. He'd never tried to ask for a confirmation despite knowing the way.

Tightening the hold on the hilt of his sword as he forced his face to remain neutral, he muttered, "You said that you are very strong. You also have a nearly omniscient knowledge about this world."

He ignored the Demon King's attempt to lighten the mood. That fool must've heard the desperation in his voice. As always, that constellation noticed everything.

"Then do you know about a man named Kim Dokja?"

A barrage of indirect messages flooded his view, expressing interests and speculations about the mysterious person who was the longtime obsession of the Supreme King. But none of them were from the constellation he asked the question to.

For some reason, Yu Junghyeok believed that only the Demon King of Salvation could hear Kim Dokja's name through the censorship.

The Demon King was silent for a minute too long. Then a message dinged.

Yu Junghyeok closed his eyes. A droplet of water fell from the gray sky.

"I see."

"We did it," he whispered among the loud shouts of triumph the Pacheonmaeng members were yelling.

They couldn’t go past the Final Wall, for some reason, but Yu Junghyeok wasn't that disappointed.

They had destroyed the <Star Stream> anyway. All of the people he loved were safe and sound.

(All but one.)

Yu Junghyeok was looking out to the remnants of the world he used to live in, reminiscing the embrace of a person he loved most, when a little private message dinged in front of him.

Yu Junghyeok felt the tip of his lips curling upward as he read the message. His heart swelled with an overwhelming feeling to kiss the hand of this star.

His constellation really did give him salvation.

And Yu Junghyeok yearned.

Yu Junghyeok frowned at the indirect message.

"Why are you so nosy?"

He rolled his eyes. For some reason, this particular constellation was very invested in his love life. That ticked him off somehow.

"The story had ended a long time ago, Demon King of Salvation."

A melancholic smile graced Yu Junghyeok's face.

"You know my happy ending lies with someone else."

At that, the star didn't answer.

He married Lee Seolhwa, knowing far too well that both of them yearned for someone else.

"Strength in numbers," she said, slipping the ring onto his finger.

Because grieving together was easier.

"Must you go?" Lee Seolhwa said, gently combing the grey hair on his head.

Junghyeok said nothing, thumbing a soft wrinkle under her eyes in apology. She, along with the rest of them, had aged very little these past few decades.

Seolhwa smiled. Wry.

Junghyeok had never picked up another attribute to counter his [Life Lived to Its Fullest]. Even though the existence of <Star Stream> made it possible for gaining longevity, Yu Junghyeok saw no charm in it if he was to live without the one he had always yearned for.

"Go, then," Seolhwa whispered. "Chase the one you have lost."

"I'm sorry…" he whispered back.

"Don't say it as if I was the one who kept you away from him." She huffed, but then added, "…Thank you for staying with me."

Junghyeok kissed her forehead.

He understood how much it meant for a brokenhearted person to see another unwilling to give up.

They were both halves that could never be one, but at least it was better than nothing.

He didn't know when exactly he had begun to harbor this suspicion, but he guessed, he had always known. Deep inside.

Someone who knew so much about this goddamn world had to be none other than that fool, the only reader of that story.

Yu Junghyeok was tired.

"Demon King of Salvation," Yu Junghyeok raised his head to look at the sky. Only a few stars were still present in the once mighty Hall. "Are you still curious about my story?"

The reply came delayed, as if the demon king was hesitating.

"This world is no longer mired in scenarios. There are no stimulations, nor any irregularities. Yet, why do you still wish to watch this story?"

A smile threatened to escape from Yu Junghyeok's lips. Somehow, he had expected that answer.

"You're truly a strange creature," he said, fond.

With a fleck of his arm, the stories he had accumulated throughout the apocalypse bared their words for the constellation to see. All of them were proof that they had walked through it all together, like companions.

They were a grace from his star.

"Sometimes, this peace feels like an illusion…" Junghyeok started. "And every now and then, I get the feeling that my life has been completed by someone else."

These feelings had always been there, even far before the world fell into ruin. Ever since his eyes landed on the face of a certain man.

"I didn't mean to say I'm unhappy," he cut off the blinking message.

The fond smile finally bled through his lips. How could he be unhappy, when he knew that this star had always been with him? How could he be unhappy, when he knew he had someone who cared about him more than anything in this universe?

"I was always worried about how I should live my life."

That was true. Even when he had his life together, a fog was always clouding him, shrouding him in confusion. It was as if he was living a predetermined life. No choice. No free will. No purpose.

Not until he met him.

"A fight that can't be won holds no meaning to me."

He flicked his sword lightly. The demon king was silent.

"However, I've grown curious lately. What would've happened to me if you didn't help? What kind of a life would I have lived if I didn't win?"

What kind of a life would he have if he didn't meet Kim Dokja?

The prolonged silence of the constellation told him that the fool had heard the unspoken question as well. There was no need to tell him that they were imagining the same thing.

His sword faltered slightly.

"You probably are aware of it already. I do not have much time left to live."

He had humored the demon king enough for these past few decades. He had stopped prying into his origin, his past, his purpose. He had lived a predetermined life without complaints, and he had been living his happiness to the fullest.

It was the time he wished to be selfish.

"If I choose you as my Constellation sponsor, will I get to finally meet you?"

Yu Junghyeok's smile softened even more. He was still endearing.

And Yu Junghyeok still yearned.

"Just where are you exactly? All the stars in <Star Stream> have fallen, so from where are you watching over me?" Yu Junghyeok continued to mutter out, his glazed eyes staring into the dimly lit sky. "No, wait. I know the truth already. You are… probably beyond that [Wall], aren't you."

He didn't even phrase it as a question, because nothing in this world could convince him otherwise.

Whatever had happened on that fateful day had separated them beyond common sense, beyond comprehension, beyond worldlines.

Something must have happened to erase Kim Dokja's existence and bring this star into his life instead.

"Something felt off to me about this world," Junghyeok hummed lightly despite the weight of words he was about to say. "One day, I suddenly came into existence in this world."

His tone was casual, just as though he was merely talking about the weather while he idly played with his sword.

"Without any memories of my childhood, I was suddenly cast into this world. I wandered around an illegal work site, and through sheer luck, got spotted by the director, and thus became a pro gamer. But then out of the blue, someone abandoned a child on my doorstep. A child, supposedly my younger sister."

Even now, he had only told this story to a single person.

"Once, I searched for my parents. However, no matter how hard I searched, I couldn't find them. Even the professionals that could unearth the president's hidden illegitimate child couldn't find my parents. It was as if such things didn't exist in this world, to begin with."

"So I ask you, 'Demon King of Salvation'. Who am I?"

He wondered when he realized.

Everything in this universe couldn't exist by itself. They were all following the pull of a greater existence, a bigger system. Even galaxies clustered around each other and moved in an organized celestial dance. Every stardust, every matter, was born, lived and died following a certain rule.

The world had always been revolving around a certain being.

"Does the secret of this world lie beyond the wall, where you are?"

"I am happy," he replied without a shred of hesitation. "And that's why I'm even more curious about what lies beyond the wall."

He was curious. Just who was Kim Dokja? Who was this man who suddenly walked into his life and took everything in it with him?

"I'm curious about the reason behind all the goodwill you've shown me. I'm also curious about the meaning of my life, where I was born, and why I had to come here. If I had one more chance…"

Just who was this man, who had always loved him so dearly?

If he had one more chance… he wanted to know and understand this person closer. Properly, from the very beginning.

"Why not?"

"An arduous path?"

"Regress?"

That… was the attribute of that other Yu Junghyeok, wasn't it?

He might have forgotten many things about the novel Kim Dokja used to chatter about, but Kim Dokja made it impossible to forget about the protagonist; a regressor. Someone who had the ability to turn back time every time he died and repeated the tragedy of the universe again and again, centering the story around his hell of an endless life.

Did that mean he had to be that very protagonist?

"1864? What's that supposed to mean?"

Ah… so that was it.

The truth of the universe was more ridiculous and crueler than he'd thought.

It confirmed the fact that the reality and the novel had been mingled far before the start of the apocalypse.

Then what was the meaning of his existence, he wondered? Was he just a character made for Kim Dokja's convenience? Did he even have a free will at all?

Fool.

"I don't care even if the odds are low."

He couldn't care less about his origin. Not after he knew why he existed in the first place.

It was enough for him to know that he was created for Kim Dokja.

If he was indeed the protagonist of that novel, then he was glad. It meant he was the one who saved Kim Dokja from the darkest phase of his life. It meant he was the one who accompanied Kim Dokja throughout the latter half of his life before they could meet in person.

It meant that he was the one who kept Kim Dokja alive.

If that was the purpose of his existence, then Yu Junghyeok would gladly walk on that arduous path. It was a small exchange for Kim Dokja's life.

He chuckled lightly. So all of those times, he had been jealous of himself.

And maybe, at the end of that arduous path, he would see his star again.

A warm surge of power filled Yu Junghyeok's body.

Ah, it was so strange but familiar. As though he was engulfed in an embrace he had yearned for so long.

He missed him.

Maybe it was their newly sponsorship bond, but Yu Junghyeok could feel the pulse of emotion from his star. So distant yet achingly close.

That fool was frustrated, it seemed. Yu Junghyeok smiled fondly. What an idiot.

[Yu Junghyeok.]

Oh.

Yu Junghyeok opened his eyes when a soft voice reached his ears. It was graceful and gentle despite brimming with power, unlike the prideful and destructive true voices he used to hear back when the <Star Stream> was still active.

"...was that your true voice?"

[That's right.]

"…I can hear it surprisingly well."

Yu Junghyeok could feel a faint crease on his face.

He had missed that voice so excruciatingly much.

If there was some doubt left in him that the Demon King of Salvation was Kim Dokja himself, it was completely obliterated now.

Even though he was going deaf with age, it was impossible for him to mistake that voice as someone else's.

It was him.

It had always been him.

[I can send you back. However, if that happens, I won't be able to help you from the next turn onwards.]

He had expected it, somehow. Given that there was no Kim Dokja nor Demon King of Salvation in the novel.

Yu Junghyeok wanted to ask so many questions.

What happened to you? Where are you? Are you really beyond that [Wall]? Why are you there? Can't you go back?

Are you okay?

I miss you.

Tragically, they had no time left for those questions.

[You'll have to use nothing but your own powers to break past the scenarios. Those scenarios will be far worse than you can ever imagine, and… And, you might end up encountering something you didn't want to at the conclusion you'd eventually reach.]

Yu Junghyeok could hear Kim Dokja's voice shaking at the last line. A wave of immense guilt and sorrow swam through their bond into Yu Junghyeok's bones.

That idiot, what was he feeling so guilty for?

[And if you do choose 'regression', then… You will lose the majority of your memories as you cross over.]

Ah. So that was what it was.

[Only the tiniest fragmented memories from the scenarios will remain in you.]

Yu Junghyeok remained silent.

[Meaning, everything precious to you will disappear. Lee Seolhwa you remember, Lee Hyeonseong, Lee Jihye, all of them will…]

"Just because I will forget about them doesn't mean they'll suddenly stop existing."

Maybe he had to go smack it into Kim Dokja's senses that it wasn't just a mere novel already.

The thing that was lost was his memory, not the reality.

"They will definitely continue to live in this world."

If Kim Dokja had forgotten that he was the most precious thing for Yu Junghyeok, then he would really punch that fool on his gut.

Him existing as Demon King of Salvation was enough proof that Kim Dokja would not cease to exist even though the world had forgotten about him.

Their new bond allowed Yu Junghyeok to feel the faint but stagnant loneliness in the corner of this star's being.

It must be very lonely, wherever he was.

How was he feeling when he watched Yu Junghyeok clearing those scenarios and building the world back together with all of his companions?

How was he feeling when he saw Yu Junghyeok desperately searching for him yet unable to reach back?

Yu Junghyeok had to tell this personally to that stupid man, that this was all real, not only a fragment of imagination, and he better prepare himself to live in it too someday.

For this lonely man, who had been alone for so long… and who would continue to be alone while Yu Junghyeok went through his regressions… Yu Junghyeok would pull him out of that place. Out to wherever 'reality' was waiting for them.

[…You dumb bastard.]

Yu Junghyeok's smile widened just slightly when he heard the frustration in that voice, along with the obvious fondness and longing underneath.

Yu Junghyeok stared at the system message with satisfaction.

But his heart trembled at the way their bond swayed, as though Kim Dokja was fighting very hard not to break.

"You said earlier that I'll lose my memories."

[…I did.]

"Will I lose everything related to you, too?"

The constellation was silent, as if the fool was hesitating again.

"Even all that convenient information you told me, too?"

[…Yes.]

"I see."

[If you regret it, then it's not too late to…]

"You also said you won't help me from the next regression turn onwards."

[I can't help you.]

"It's fine to help, however."

[Even if I want to, I can't.]

"I heard that the scenarios exist not just for the Incarnations, but Constellations, as well. Maybe, it was the same story for you."

It was a faint suspicion, but maybe Kim Dokja had encountered his own scenarios somewhere, battling his own enemies, making his own companions. There were many times when the Demon King of Salvation acted as if he had known many people from another lifetime, such as Uriel, the Great Sage, or the dokkaebi Bihyeong.

When his constellation failed to answer, Yu Junghyeok hoped earnestly that wherever it might be, there was another him walking that path alongside Kim Dokja, just as how Kim Dokja always did.

"Tell me, you fool. If I continue to regress, will I ever get to meet you again?"

Ah, that idiot was certainly crying.

Yu Junghyeok reached his hand towards the lone star in the night sky as his body began to disappear.

Oh, how badly he wanted to wipe those tears, to tell him it was going to be okay, to assure him that they would certainly see each other again.

"Demon King of Salvation."

As his body rapidly scattered away, Yu Junghyeok let all of his affection show on his face. His devotion, his vow.

"I shall pray that you may continue to exist somewhere, too."

Wait for me. I'll go to where you are.

Both of them heard the unspoken words.

Yu Junghyeok stared at the vast clusters of galaxies and nebulae, floating aimlessly as he waited for his stigma to send him back. There was a train among the stars, and Yu Junghyeok couldn't help but approach.

He touched one of the windows, and slowly, he knocked.

Chapter Text

Kim Dokja should've realized that it was strange.

He should've suspected something was suspicious the first time he met Yu Junghyeok.

Because, what was the chance of him meeting a stranger who was basically the exact real-life replica of his childhood idol?

It should be zero.

Yet it happened.

Still, their first meeting was quite ordinary.

Kim Dokja was just bored waiting for that day's update of his favorite web novel, Ways of Survival. So he swam through random videos until he stumbled onto Yu Junghyeok's streams, purely because he was intrigued by the streamer's name, which also happened to be Ways of Survival's protagonist's name.

It was inevitable how Kim Dokja got attracted to the streamer almost immediately. Every cell in Kim Dokja's body was made to worship a man named Yu Junghyeok, apparently, whether it was inside a novel or in real life.

He found out a while later that the pro-gamer was one of the professionals his company hired to beta-test their new project. Maybe that was one of the reasons why the company had been so lively lately. Kim Dokja understood. Yu Junghyeok was indeed a strikingly gorgeous man.

Not that Kim Dokja was included in the said project. He was just a new contracted worker in the company.

Nevertheless, it seemed like someone above really wanted him to get entangled with Yu Junghyeok. One thing led to another, and before he knew it, Kim Dokja's team was appointed to supervise Yu Junghyeok's team during the beta-test, much to many of his coworkers' envy.

Needless to say, they gravitated towards each other quite seamlessly.

It was interesting to observe this Yu Junghyeok and compare him to the protagonist Yu Junghyeok.

Dokja was almost 100% sure that tls123, the author, based their novel's protagonist off of his new not-quite-friend, but he didn't have the heart to call them out. Maybe tls123 was a fan of Junghyeok or something. As he'd long since admitted, Yu Junghyeok did have a protagonist aura around him.

But Dokja was quick to stop comparing the two Yu Junghyeoks as he came to know the pro-gamer better. It was funny to rile him up with WoS facts at first, but it felt like a huge disservice to both of them if he kept comparing.

Besides, this Yu Junghyeok and the novel's Yu Junghyeok's similarity only lay in their hazy past, their pro-gamer background and their little sister Yu Mia. Dokja supposed it was because tls123 didn’t personally know Yu Junghyeok, hence they didn’t know the little tidbits of Yu Junghyeok’s daily life.

Sure both Yu Junghyeoks were grumpy, crude, and could kill with a single glare, but their mannerisms were worlds apart.

The Regressor Yu Junghyeok was ruthless. Cold. Cynical. Distant. Wasn't capable of trust and kindness anymore. He had cared too much, and that resulted in his heart being broken more than a thousand times. At this point of the story, people were either tools or enemies for him. He locked his heart and threw the key into the ocean. His eyebrow twitched when he made a big decision, he dragged the tip of his sword when he was happy, and he was an arrogant master chef who refused to eat anything made by other people.

The real life Yu Junghyeok was rough, yes, but he was also secretly soft. Gentle. Understanding. Very much capable of trust and kindness. His eyebrow also twitched when he made an important decision, but he smiled and hummed lowly when he was happy, and his cooking was just normally decent at best. He ate from the company's canteen sometimes and even enjoyed Kim Dokja's subpar cooking (even though it looked like he would rather die than admit it.) He was also not quite a loner. He was a great team player and held silent respect for the people in his team.

They were different. They both played a big part in Dokja's life, but they did it in a completely different way.

The Regressor Yu Junghyeok taught him to hold on, to be strong, to push forward, to not wallow in past failures and to keep fighting even if there were no light of hope ahead.

The real life Yu Junghyeok taught him to cherish the present, to love himself, to make amends with his insecurities, and to live his life to the fullest.

One was a character written in letters, the other was a living, breathing human.

A living, breathing human who had made Kim Dokja fall hopelessly in love.

Imagine his surprise when Yu Junghyeok cornered him after the ridiculously long project was over, rubbing the back of his neck and nervously asking him out on a date, grumpily admitting that he'd been attracted to Dokja since their first meeting.

Under his mess of a flustered mind, Dokja chuckled. Yeah. The Regressor Yu Junghyeok would never do something like that.

He said yes.

But Kim Dokja should've realized that it was strange.

His life was never easy. The world was never kind. Not to him. There had to be something fundamentally wrong for him to be suddenly blessed with a loving boyfriend and a passionate relationship.

But he had ignored those thoughts.

For the time being, he was very content with his life.

Time passed by and soon they would celebrate their first year anniversary, which would include Dokja's first meeting with Junghyeok's little sister Mia.

It was a bit shameful to admit that Kim Dokja had been very hesitant to meet Yu Junghyeok's only family even after all this time, but Kim Dokja had never really had a good memory of a 'family,' and he was very hesitant to acknowledge the concept. Call him pathetic, but he was simply not ready.

And stupid Junghyeok, so gentle and understanding, just let him be and patiently waited, making sure Dokja would never have to do anything against his will, doing all he could to ensure that their relationship remained private.

Dokja couldn't help but fall uselessly deeper.

So now, after one long year, Dokja decided he was ready to meet Junghyeok's only family, implying his willingness to take their relationship a step further.

Junghyeok had Mia enrolled in a boarding school while he flipped over the country in search of their parents, but she would come home for a semester break soon. They had planned a little picnic for her.

Ah, yes, speaking of, his boyfriend's biggest problem was his hazy past and his nonexistent parents. There should be something traumatic that happened in his past for Junghyeok's parents to essentially abandon him, not to mention that he couldn't recall any of his childhood memories.

When he thought about it, this point was also rather similar to the Regressor Yu Junghyeok's life. Maybe because the author also had no idea of the real life Yu Junghyeok's past, but it had never been clearly mentioned in the webnovel.

When Dokja walked out of his company's building, Junghyeok messaged him to inform him of the lack of progress in his search, saying that he just got back from the empty apartment the detectives led him to.

The content of the message was short and direct as always, but Dokja knew Junghyeok enough to see how greatly it affected his boyfriend's mental state. Junghyeok always got so depressed and lost whenever he tried and failed to find out anything about his origin, despite his great efforts to hide it behind his smoothly cold facade. Dokja exhaled a breath in worry. He hated seeing his boyfriend so upset and unsure.

Sighing, Dokja closed his eyes.

That day was supposed to be the final chapter update of Ways of Survival, a novel he'd read for over ten years and had helped him so much in going through his horrible, pathetic life. He was readying himself to accompany his protagonist through his epilogue.

But his Yu Junghyeok needed him.

His Yu Junghyeok, who had actually changed his real life and gave him genuine happiness, needed him.

So Dokja closed the webnovel app and tapped open the chat window.

The final chapter would still be there when he read it in the morning. Regressor Yu Junghyeok wouldn't know or even care that he was late. Tls123 wouldn't really mind if he submitted his comment a little late.

So he sent a reply to his own Junghyeok, offering to go out on a quick date to lift up Junghyeok's mood and distract him from his frustration.

The immediate reply of 'We're going right after you get off work,' made him chuckle. Dokja could perfectly picture a smile his boyfriend would cover with a slight pout as he glared at his phone, an imaginary tail wagging behind him.

A quick chat told him Junghyeok had hopped into the same subway as him. Just in the next car. His mouth broke into a tiny smile as he tried to make his way to the next car, but to his disappointment, the subway was rather full of people.

Before he could text his boyfriend about his inability to meet him, a coworker, Yu Sangah, approached him with a beaming smile, asking what he was reading on his phone. Dokja quickly swiped back to the webnovel app, nervously hiding the chat with his boyfriend.

It wasn’t as if he didn’t trust Yu Sangah, but it was just easier to keep his personal life private. He was happier that no one knew about his relationship with Yu Junghyeok.

But apparently, the universe decided that he had no right to be happy for too long.

As soon as he read a strange e-mail sent by tls123, something cold ran down Kim Dokja's spine.

A fluffy white creature appeared above their heads, announcing the end of the world.

Dokja felt like he was slapped out of a long daydream. Of course. These past few years were like a dream for Kim Dokja. Of course there was a catch for his life to suddenly turn so smoothly. Of course there was something wrong with the world.

It was weird that he was processing all of this so calmly.

Hiding his growing anxiety, he flickered his eyes left and right to search for a solution, eventually finding it in the hand of a silent boy.

Grasshoppers.

Despite his calm demeanor, the inside of his head was rather chaotic with all the information he was filtering. It was even more jumbled when the author of WoS sent him the text file of the entire webnovel. Yet it felt so surreal, as if he was just watching from the sidelines. It felt like he ran on autopilot when he faced a book character, Kim Namwun, and activated his initial skill for the first time.

There were five survivors in his cabin, four of them from the 'reality' and one was a 'character'.

His clarity of mind came back when he remembered that his boyfriend was just in the next cabin. A bigger anxiety gripped his heart as he wondered whether Junghyeok had completed the first scenario safely or not.

Well, Junghyeok was rather talented in self-defense, at least.

The sponsor scenario felt too long when he was anxious to meet his boyfriend. Still, despite his growing anxiety, his heart thumped wildly at the level of his constellation candidates displayed in front of his eyes. They were crazy.

He might get a little teary because he managed to snatch such powerful constellations. Kim Dokja had always been average throughout his entire life. Was this how it felt being a main character?

But alas, he was no main character. He was just a reader. It wasn't as if he had a plan to sign a sponsor contract anyway.

A strange pull made his eyes linger at one modifier; the Secretive Plotter.

As the sole reader of the webnovel for over a decade, it was pretty strange that he had never seen the modifier before. Nevertheless, he had no desire to find out just yet.

He knew too much to believe any of them.

A part of him chuckled when he entertained the idea that his boyfriend could possibly be the new world's protagonist, but he was busy thinking about how to escape this cabin before the real protagonist showed up and slaughtered them all. If Junghyeok's last message was to be believed, then he should be in the next cabin, 3907.

Kim Dokja should've realized that it was strange.

How come he was in the cabin number 3807 while two Yu Junghyeoks were in the two cabins next to his?

That was the first hint.

Unfortunately, he got no time to think further as the pounding from cabin 3707, presumably from the more murder-happy of the two Yu Junghyeoks, became louder.

After pushing Lee Hyeonseong to use his stigma, Dokja and the rest of them escaped out of the subway. He anxiously checked the next cabin from outside, but he couldn't see any survivors. His eyes darted to the corpses littering all over the car floor. There was none similar to Junghyeok's build.

That was the second hint.

But the subway's windows were smashed and several doors were crooked open, maybe from when the train previously crashed to a stop.

Had Junghyeok escaped already?

But that couldn't be. His boyfriend was stupid enough to think of Dokja first before fleeing. It was most likely that Junghyeok was also searching for him.

Did he miscalculate Junghyeok's car number?

He anxiously waited for his boyfriend to come out of the train. They had to flee before the Regressor Yu Junghyeok came.

His boyfriend might be skilled in basic martial arts, but Dokja doubted he could do much in the face of a regressor on his third turn.

"Dokja-ssi, let's hurry!" Yu Sangah called him.

"Right," he distractedly replied, still staring at the train.

But of course, now that the world had snapped back to its rightful course of continuously making his life difficult, the bridge they were about to cross got destroyed by the newly emerged monsters around the Han river. The dokkaebi cackled as the corpses of the first scenario victims wriggled alive, charging blindly at their group.

A Deux ex Machina was activated.

Dokja blinked. Was it Yu Sangah?

When he tried to see her attribute window with his [Character List] skill, it failed. His head was full of questions, but he couldn't just stay put as the horde of zombies were starting their attacks.

When he tried to see the bastard Han Myeongoh's attribute window and failed, he came to a conclusion. Ah yes, how foolish of him. Of course [Character List] failed on them because they were not 'book characters'.

Then what line distinguished a real life person from a book character, he wondered?

Yu Sangah had crossed the Bridge of Even Numbers with Han Myeongoh, leaving him alone.

Dokja tried his best to not panic, remembering that Junghyeok might still be somewhere around the subway train. Maybe if he waited a little longer, they could cross the bridge together.

But damn. Even with his newfound [Bookmark] skill and coin-bought stamina, Kim Dokja was just an average salaryman with a body resembling a matchstick. His greatest form of working out was to run into the station to catch the subway because he was late for work. He couldn't possibly keep fighting the neverending number of zombies while waiting for Junghyeok to catch up.

Besides, they had another Yu Junghyeok to worry about. He was far scarier than the zombies, to be honest.

"C'mon Junghyeok-ah… Where are you?" Dokja hissed under his breath, kicking a zombie on its chest.

His heartbeat slightly slowed down with relief when he spotted a familiar figure walking leisurely in the distance, parrying the zombies away with relative ease. Dokja felt like he could collapse with joy.

Waving his hand eagerly, Dokja shouted, "Junghyeok-ah!"

Or that was what he intended to do, but before he could even open his mouth, a hand clamped tightly around his neck, and next thing he knew, he was dangling above the Han River.

"You, how the hell are you alive?"

What?

Dokja's mind was far too chaotic to process the question.

Because the person who choked him was none other than his own boyfriend. His own Yu Junghyeok. 

"Name," the person choking him demanded again, tightening the fingers around Dokja's throat.

He wanted to shout 'What the hell are you doing?!' but he only managed to choke out a strangled, "What?" like an idiot.

The [Character List] was still blaring next to this 'Yu Junghyeok's face.

That skill wasn't supposed to work on him, because his boyfriend was certainly a 'real person', not a 'character'.

That was the third hint.

"What is your name?"

Huh. Look at the way he talked. Even the Yu Junghyeok he knew didn't sound this arrogant when they had first met.

Was Junghyeok playing a mean prank on him because he left him in the subway and ran ahead first?

His boyfriend wasn't that petty, was he?

Regardless, it was best to play along, so Dokja croaked, "Kim Dokja."

"A strange name."

"I've heard that a lot."

Suddenly his stomach lurched and a sharp pain rattled his body as 'Yu Junghyeok's fist hit him.

This asshole?!!

"You have a solid body. Have you already mastered the use of coins?"

"It is the same with you…"

Then he hit him again. Bastard. Having a solid body didn't mean he was incapable of feeling pain!

"Stop the unnecessary answers. Only answer what I ask from now on. Understood?"

Dokja bit his lip and stayed silent. Partly out of pettiness and partly out of bewilderment, because he knew for a fact that his boyfriend would sooner slit his own throat than to physically harm him to this extent. Being one of the few people who was privy to Kim Dokja's entire past made his boyfriend very gentle with him. There was no way he would risk triggering Dokja with any form of abuse.

This Yu Junghyeok, however, was far more similar to the Regressor Yu Junghyeok at the start of the story.

That was the fourth hint.

"Your answer?"

"…I will."

"Use honorifics."

"What if I don't want to?"

Before a fist could punch his stomach again, Dokja guarded with his free hands, recalling how his boyfriend taught him the basics of how to block a punch.

What wouldn't Dokja give to have him here instead of whoever this crazy person before him was.

Good. That made it two of them.

"I'm sorry but you are younger than me, pro-gamer Yu Junghyeok-ssi. So you should be the one using honorifics." Dokja couldn't help his pettiness surfacing.

The man narrowed his eyes. "…You know me?"

"I know. I’m an employee of a game company." What a lie. "You are famous. At one time, I was a fan."

Well, it was a white lie. A ridiculous lie with various nonsensical layers.

Besides, it was true that he had been a fan. Kim Dokja liked, hated, resented, and cheered Regressor Yu Junghyeok on for over 3000 chapters.

How ironic.

Even though he had mellowed out a bit since dating Yu Junghyeok, Kim Dokja was still a little shit.

Every word said by this mysterious Yu Junghyeok was answered with even more sass and snark. Kim Dokja wasn't sure why, but he felt like riling this damn bastard up was the best course of action.

…Huh?

Then after a moment, the thoughts of the man before him flowed like a waterfall into Kim Dokja's head.

Ah… what dense flickers of thoughts. The corner of Kim Dokja's mouth went up shakily.

That was the final hint.

One thing he knew for certain: This was definitely not his Yu Junghyeok.

It took four days inside the Ichthyosaur for Kim Dokja to come to terms that the Yu Junghyeok who had dropped him into that very Ichthyosaur's mouth was the protagonist of Ways of Survival.

He wasn't sure if it was a dream or not, but when he was unconscious inside the Ichthyosaur, he felt like he saw the bastard protagonist atop the broken bridge. His vision had also floated back to the abandoned subway cabins, as he frantically searched for his boyfriend and found no one.

Still, he couldn't understand why that Yu Junghyeok had the same fucking face as his Yu Junghyeok. Had the ruined world finally ganged up to fuck with his life? Not that the previous world hadn't done that already, but this was a whole other level of fucked up.

If he didn't have the [Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint] and [Character List], he would never believe that this protagonist was not his Junghyeok. He would've probably thought that Junghyeok was just playing a mean prank on him.

But that [Sage's Eye] and the Regression stigma on his [Character Summary] were enough proof to draw the conclusion.

Did this man somehow replace his Junghyeok? Like those premises in isekai webnovels where the main character was transferred into another person's body? But that would mean his Junghyeok was dead, wouldn't it? If he wasn't, where did he go, then? Who was this Yu Junghyeok?

Dokja had many things to question, but his current priority was to find out what happened to his Junghyeok.

So Kim Dokja stepped into the Main Scenario area with a firm resolution to smack that bastard protagonist in the back of his head.

Kim Dokja was terrified.

When he saw Yu Sangah stare at Yu Junghyeok with nothing but a polite look of unfamiliarity, a block of ice slid down his spine.

Yu Sangah had been one of the newbies selected to work with Yu Junghyeok's team on beta-testing for that one project three years prior. There was no way she wouldn't recognize Yu Junghyeok's face.

She was even the one who had almost guessed that he and Junghyeok were dating.

"Sangah-ssi, haven't you met him before?" he asked cautiously.

Yu Sangah tilted her head in mild confusion. "No? I think I would remember if I ever met someone as intense as Yu Junghyeok-ssi." She laughed softly, then asked with interest, "Is he Dokja-ssi's friend? You two seem rather close."

Dokja swallowed the horror in his throat and forced a smile, ignoring the blaring warnings of his [Fourth Wall] as he hid his trembling hands by placing them casually inside his pockets.

"We are pretty close."

He sent Jeong Huiwon to get Yu Mia, who was in the same area as the school that his boyfriend's little sister was supposed to enroll in.

Kim Dokja should've realized that it was strange.

The horror he felt when he witnessed Yu Sangah forget about Yu Junghyeok from before the apocalypse was back in full force when Kim Dokja was sent to the Minosoft building after he finished the fourth main scenario.

After he confirmed his whereabouts, Dokja practically dashed into the building. Ignoring the bodies of his former coworkers that were scattered all over the place, he scrambled to his department to search for archives of the project Yu Junghyeok had contracted with them three years prior.

He found nothing.

"D-Dokja-ssi?! Are you Dokja-ssi?!" a voice exclaimed.

It was Deputy Yun, another coworker who had also been a part of the very project he was trying to find.

He listened to Deputy Yun's excited explanation of his first scenario, mildly disgusted with how scummy the man sounded.

His eyes widened when he witnessed the coin farm.

Ah, so this was why that bastard dokkaebi sent him to this place.

Unfortunately, Dokja had more important things to confirm.

He stared at the unconscious Han Suyeong inside a cage.

"By the way, Deputy Yun…"

"Yes?"

"Do you know a man named Yu Junghyeok?"

The former deputy raised a brow, recalling. "No? Is he from Minosoft?"

Dokja exhaled, a little shaky. "I see."

Then he drew the Unbreakable Faith.

Yu Junghyeok asked him, "What are you up to?"

"I'm just looking at the world. Isn't it beautiful?"

Dokja was looking at the city of Seoul that was destroyed by the monsters.

"It was originally a beautiful place."

Yu Junghyeok’s response was cold. "I don't like landscapes."

"Why?"

"They are things that will disappear someday."

Dokja thought he had come to understand the third regression Yu Junghyeok a bit more after fighting against Shin Yuseung. He wanted to believe Yu Junghyeok was a person who could love this world without giving up or feeling despair.

But he might have misunderstood him a bit.

So Dokja told him, "But we need to protect these things."

The regressor beside him grumbled, "Kim Dokja, you don't know."

Yu Junghyeok could give up at any time because he was still in the midst of his regressions. In the end, Yu Junghyeok's purpose was to prevent the 'destruction of this world'. Paradoxically, he could give up on this world at any time. His essence was regression and this fact would never change.

"No, I know," Dokja replied.

"What?"

"The fact that you can regress at any time means that death is meaningless."

Yu Junghyeok's regressions were surrounded by death. No matter how hard he tried, how far he reached, how long he persisted, death was always there. Death of innocent people, death of his companions, his own death… they would still haunt him and degenerate his mental state.

And in the end, everything would lose its meaning.

"If there is no sense of death then the value of life also disappears."

"What do you know…" the regressor still grumbled like a petulant child, and that ticked Dokja off.

What did Kim Dokja know?

Kim Dokja might only be a reader of Yu Junghyeok’s story, but he was also a lover of another Yu Junghyeok who was sacrificed to make this story happen.

If the protagonist of this world abandoned it, what was the meaning of his Junghyeok's sacrifice then?

Dokja gritted his teeth, "Yu Junghyeok, wake up. Don't think things will improve if you repeat them a few times."

Yu Junghyeok remained silent like he was surprised by Dokja's hard words.

"There's a chance that you can do better in the fourth regression. But there's also a chance that won't happen. Have you already forgotten the Theatre Dungeon? If I hadn't appeared at that time―"

"The next regression will obviously be better. There were many unexpected things in this round so the next round will certainly be better."

"Why? Do you know the future?"

That was when Yu Junghyeok began to look properly into Dokja's eyes.

Dokja continued, "Yes. It might be as you say. If you repeat it 10 or 20 times then it might get better. You'll experience more scenarios and know more of the future. But the real problem is when you someday save the world in this way."

"What do you mean?"

"At that time, do you really think you saved this world?"

Yu Junghyeok was silent.

"Do you think you will be able to keep the same mindset after repeating it 100 or 200 times?"

"I won't regress that many times."

Dokja just silently stared at Yu Junghyeok.

Yu Junghyeok's eyes slowly widened.

Seeing Yu Junghyeok's crumbling resolve, Dokja continued, "Are you having nightmares these days?"

The regressor kept quiet.

There were too many instances in Ways of Survival where Yu Junghyeok was plagued with nightmares. The weight of his sin and failures slowly dragged him down as time went on.

"You won't be saved, even if you save the world. The moment you save it, the worlds you have forsaken will come to you. Despite saving one world, all the other worlds you abandoned will drag you to hell."

Yu Junghyeok's pupils trembled. Perhaps it was something he was already dimly aware of.

"So live this round properly. Shin Yuseung was destroyed after wandering for countless years. You will be worse than that. The more you repeat the turns, the more out of control you will become. Ask yourself. How different are you now compared to the beginning?"

"That…" Yu Junghyeok's expression hardened. His eyes were shaking violently. The Yu Junghyeok from the beginning wouldn't be affected by this, yet look at him now.

"Don't imagine that you will get better if you throw away this round. Maybe this is the round where you will see the end of this world as a 'human'."

Yu Junghyeok opened and closed his mouth. Dokja could see the intense conflict on his face.

Dokja didn't have to do this, honestly. If he were to accompany Yu Junghyeok in later regressions, he surely could help him to not stray from his path or to fall into the pit of regression depression.

Yu Junghyeok must be wondering why Kim Dokja talked as if this was the only regression they would meet.

Dokja just smiled quietly at him. Yu Junghyeok's entire body froze as his eyes widened in surprise. If Dokja were insane, he would probably say that Yu Junghyeok looked afraid.

But Dokja wasn’t insane.

Yes, Yu Junghyeok. Feel conflicted. What would happen to this world if you regress? 

Dokja would never let the world where his Junghyeok once existed to be abandoned.

Good for him.

Dokja could see a faint light of determination in Yu Junghyeok's face.

A cool wind blew as they looked down at the ruined city together.

As he lay on the ground, bleeding, Dokja wondered if he would meet his Junghyeok in the afterlife, even for just a second.

But that couldn't be.

That would mean his own Junghyeok was really dead, his existence erased by the current Yu Junghyeok, and Dokja wasn't quite ready to accept that fact.

The fleeting light of something familiar inside the protagonist's eyes was what intrigued him the most.

It rarely happened, but it was there. Occasionally. Like when he flashed a bloody smile and asked the Regressor to kill him, or when said Regressor held his breath as he saw Kim Dokja's coffin being lowered into the ground.

It was sometimes intensified, like when they met again in the constellation banquet, when Yu Junghyeok stared at him with unreadable eyes after thinking that Kim Dokja had died.

Sometimes, it made Kim Dokja wonder if his Junghyeok was the same person as the Regressor.

But of course he wasn't. There was nothing indicating that they had met before the first scenario.

He'd know. He could literally read Yu Junghyeok's mind.

Sometimes, when the [Fourth Wall] was shaking, he wondered if the boyfriend he once had was merely his imagination.

The heavy longing he would feel afterwards didn't make it all easier either.

[Ah, yes. Speaking of which. Did you get my previous message? Stick to my side. I particularly want to give you the story of 'Bacchus' …Why is your expression like that?]

Kim Dokja rearranged his face into a neutral expression and shook his head.

"No need."

Even though Dionysus was one of the 12 high ranking constellations of Olympus, the story of Bacchus was out of the question. 

[Aha, I get it. Look at you. Are you comparing it with the stories from Eden or Vedas?]

"No, that's not it…"

[Hey, it is because you don't know anything! Do you know what will happen if you receive the story of the resurrected Messiah? You will have to live compassionately your whole life! It is the same after you die. Yes? You will have to live like a priest! God!] Dionysus shouted loudly.

[Huh? Do you know how great the Bacchus story is in contrast? Don't you know my goddesses?]

"The goddesses who ripped apart homosexuals?"

Dionysus jumped with surprise. [Ah… Y-Yes! You can spend frenzied days and nights with them. I can give you an endless refill of wine! Have you heard of the Olympus orgies? Do you know Aphrodite? If you want, I will invite her…]

[…Let's just pretend I didn't say that. What do you think?]

"It doesn't appeal to me."

The Dionysus wine shook uneasily.

[…That reminds me, an angel of Eden says that you are interested in sodomy…]

Kim Dokja wanted to gently smack a certain archangel.

"I think I know who spread it but ignore that girl. I want to know the real reason why you came to see me."

Kim Dokja was falling, and he was very, very afraid.

He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to. He really didn’t want to.

The one he loved was the Yu Junghyeok from before the apocalypse. The one who worked with him on that game project. The one who nervously asked him out on a date.

The one who had loved him back.

He didn’t want to fall in love with this Yu Junghyeok.

He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to. He really didn’t want to.

This Yu Junghyeok would never be his Yu Junghyeok. They were not by any means interchangeable.

Yet he was hopeless to keep his heart from falling.

How funny, Kim Dokja, his mind traitorously mocked, how you managed to fall for two different people with the same name and the same face.

How funny.

How unfaithful.

His Junghyeok didn’t deserve someone like him.

When his party asked him who he loved the most, he could only stifle down his aching heart and acted dumb.

He watched Jeong Huiwon growl, "You have to say it precisely. There is no one 'right now', yes, but according to the Fate, Dokja-ssi will surely come to love someone."

Kim Dokja smiled helplessly. She was right. There was no one right now. The one he loved the most was nowhere in the present time.

She was right. She had to be right.

He forbade his eyes from searching the figure of a certain someone.

He convinced himself that it wasn't a lie.

Kim Dokja laughed as Yu Junghyeok's sword pierced his heart.

His body slowly sank down and Yu Junghyeok held onto him. "Kim Dokja."

Kim Dokja was still laughing.

He knew.

If he was in the mood for denial, he would say that this Yu Junghyeok was only representing the story, the thing he truly loved the most. That was why he became the one who drew the last strike.

But he wasn't in denial.

He loved all of them. He truly did. But he just loved this man a little more.

He knew that his love for this Yu Junghyeok had grown the same size as the one he reserved for his lost half.

How truly pathetic of him.

"It was a really great story. Isn't that right?"

The blurry edges on his vision made him dizzy, but he could still make out the face of the shaking regressor. That cold and expressionless face was slowly crumbling.

Ah. He had never seen that face twisted in that much despair.

He hated it.

He laughed again.

"Let's meet again, Yu Junghyeok."

Huge sparks appeared around Yu Junghyeok, startling Asmodeus enough to move back. Something blinked inside Yu Junghyeok's eyes as another being woke up.

[You…]

Kim Dokja's wrath thrummed along Yu Junghyeok's blood, making his veins pop up in anger.

How dare he.

'Yu Junghyeok' stared at Asmodeus with bright eyes.

It was the first time Kim Dokja experienced such an intense need to possess Yu Junghyeok.

With raging sparks of plausibility, Kim Dokja spat in a cold fury, [Don't touch my incarnation, Asmodeus.]

The terror he felt when he opened his eyes was devastating.

His face was drenched with tears.

His mind turned into chaos when he saw the updated version of Ways of Survival.

Yu Junghyeok couldn't be dead.

He couldn't.

The fingers that were holding the smartphone trembled uncontrollably. Lines upon lines that implied how he had affected Yu Junghyeok in his next regressions were cutting his chest.

He was there. He could protect Yu Junghyeok. But he failed.

He let Yu Junghyeok die.

Again, he lost the one he loved most.

How could he continue from here on out? What was the use of going on with the scenarios if the person he most wanted to see the conclusion was gone? Was there a reason for his existence? Should he just—

The door was kicked open and Yu Junghyeok stood there, a little breathless but alive.

Kim Dokja didn't realize how clear the immense relief shown on his face was. He just sat there, mouth gaping, staring at Yu Junghyeok as if he was seeing a ghost. He didn’t even hear Mark and Aileen hurriedly leaving the room when they saw the thick atmosphere between the two men. He was too busy restraining himself from throwing his body into Yu Junghyeok's chest.

There was something flashing inside the protagonist's eyes. If Dokja didn't know better, he would assume that it was longing.

It felt like an eternity before Dokja managed to rasp out, "When did you come here?"

Yu Junghyeok's voice was a bit softer than he'd expected. "Two days ago."

A wave of embarrassment washed through Dokja's mind because he had been freaking out like an idiot when the man he'd been worried about was walking around the same industrial complex.

They fell back into an easy exchange after that, squabbling about how Yu Junghyeok had managed to survive Asmodeus's attack, but there was no denying the awkward tension between them.

The last time they properly faced each other was when Yu Junghyeok had stabbed his sword into Kim Dokja's chest, after all.

The revision of the novel he just received was still fresh in Dokja's mind, filling his lungs with the heaviness of anxiety and fear. He wanted to ask what Yu Junghyeok would do in the future. What if he failed this turn? What would he do if he was to regress to a world without Kim Dokja?

Kim Dokja wanted to ask why he came here. Why did he search for him? Was Kim Dokja that important?

But he couldn't bring himself to say any of it.

Completely different words emerged from his mouth instead. "The others… are they doing well?"

With a soft exhale, as if he was expecting those words to fall from Dokja's mouth, Yu Junghyeok began to tell him what the others were up to, how the world still went on, how people kept on living while he wasn't there.

As he listened, Dokja felt somewhat sweet, sad and nostalgic. "Everybody is busy living."

His absence didn't hinder the story at all.

After all, he was but a reader. A reader was always outside of the story.

He had always been okay with that, but somehow… this time he felt a bit lonely.

Without him, people were still continuing the scenarios. Just like Yu Junghyeok repeated the regressions, the 4th, 5th, 6th rounds… it led to an endless story where someone like Kim Dokja could be easily forgotten. The story would always move towards the ending. It was natural.

Even in the revision of the novel, Yu Junghyeok kept on walking forward as if the changes that happened in this turn were almost nonexistent. It was as though everything Kim Dokja had done could barely make a dent in the course of Yu Junghyeok's story.

It was obvious.

Yet he couldn't help the pain at the reminder.

Biting his lips, Dokja tried to say something. I'm glad, he wanted to say. The words couldn't leave his mouth.

Was Yu Junghyeok also okay? Did he continue to live on, unaffected by Kim Dokja's death?

But if he really did, he wouldn't be here, would he?

Then Yu Junghyeok suddenly said, "Also, everyone is telling your story."

Dokja slowly raised his head at the words. Yu Junghyeok's face was still expressionless, but there was something in his gaze that set Dokja's chest on fire.

"They say it a lot. Your story."

Dokja covered his eyes with both hands.

He wanted to say that he was smiling, but there was no denying the wetness in his eyes and the rasp in his throat.

Yu Junghyeok mercifully refrained from addressing it, only sipping his tea instead.

"Let's go back to Earth, Kim Dokja."

Ah fuck.

He couldn't stop his tears after all.

Caressing the hair of the sleeping protagonist, Dokja felt his lips forming a sardonic smile.

Ah, he hated this man.

He hated how this man seemingly brought the apocalypse into his life when Dokja had finally started to be happy.

He hated how this man suddenly erased his own Yu Junghyeok from existence and replaced him.

He hated how this man refused to regress and risked his life to see the conclusion in this worldline together with him, just as what Kim Dokja dearly wished.

He hated how this man constantly reminded him of the love he had lost.

He hated how this man had managed to make him fall so easily, betraying the one he should devote his love to.

He hated how this man had forced him to move on.

He hated this man.

He hated him.

He hated him.

Kim Dokja left to face a possible death after kissing the forehead of the unconscious protagonist, slipping a newly-made pocket watch into the limp hand of the Regressor.

Kim Dokja stared at the 1863rd Yu Junghyeok, who was standing in front of him with a blank gaze.

He had questioned it multiple times, but seeing this Yu Junghyeok deepened his suspicion.

They all had the same face.

That was a given, because Ways of Survival revolved around one man, but still. Why did they all have the same face as his Junghyeok?

Was his Junghyeok also a part of Regressor Yu Junghyeok's numerous lives? Did that mean his past life was a part of the novel? How could that be?

They were so similar…

But they were different people…

Different…

Different…

Dokja blinked.

Where was the line that separated reality from the novel?

Had his reality been mingled with the novel since the very start?

Were they currently just separated by the worldlines?

Was his Junghyeok, somewhere in this vast universe, still alive? Still searching for him, like how he was desperately doing?

Would he ever get the chance to meet him again if that was the case, then?

Would it be alright for him to keep hoping?

Stepping forward, he caressed 1863rd Yu Junghyeok's scarred cheek.

Would his Junghyeok look like this too without him? Lost and angry? Devoid of any human feelings?

Broken?

"Rest," he whispered. "I will finish your story."

"Yu Junghyeok," Kim Dokja called out.

The man in question did not answer, still staring expressionlessly at the portal where Anna Croft had just vanished into.

So Kim Dokja called out again, his voice a little trembling, "Please, at least listen to what I have to say. You used to call me your companion, once upon a time, didn't you?"

Yu Junghyeok shifted his gaze towards him and slowly unsheathed his sword.

"That was in the past."

The icy-cold rage beneath his tone wasn't something Dokja could readily unpack. The tips of his fingers quivered slightly, and it took everything in him to not step back in fear. (In guilt.)

Instead, Kim Dokja took yet another step into the curse of omniscience.

Unfortunately, Yu Junghyeok's inner thoughts blocked his spying attempt, as if to declare that the person in front of his eyes was no longer the same man that he knew all this time.

"I can already guess what you want to talk to me about. It's probably about that book of yours."

At that, Kim Dokja's faint trembling stopped. Instead, a nauseating feeling of shame climbed up into his chest, blocking any words from leaving his throat.

"Through that book, you peeked into my life, and used me as your entertainment. Is there anything else I should know?"

Kim Dokja couldn't say any excuses. Because those were all truths. What he did was indeed no different from what other Constellations had been doing. And worse, he had been doing it far before their worlds collided.

"I…"

He knew that. He definitely did. But…

But, was the sense of betrayal everything Yu Junghyeok felt?

Yu Junghyeok was waiting silently as if he was a judge looking for yet-undisclosed opportunities to frame Kim Dokja even further. Too bad for him, because the man in question completely had no idea of what to say.

Instead of thoughts, emotions came from Yu Junghyeok through 'Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint' in waves, crashing through Kim Dokja's body and destroying everything in its way.

Anger. Betrayal. Heartbreak.

The words Kim Dokja wanted to say died and were buried under the violent waves of emotions.

Yu Junghyeok raised his blade.

The moment Kim Dokja saw the blade flying right in front of his nose, a guilty conscience, as well as a sense of unfairness, welled up inside his heart.

He knew he was in the wrong, but must Yu Junghyeok discard everything else and just blindly charge at him as if he had committed the greatest sin ever existed?

He did his best in his own way. After those scenarios got underway, Kim Dokja really tried his best. In his own way, he did his best to put what he read to practice.

Even after losing the one thing that he held dear, even after trying so hard to bury the enormous hole in his chest and dedicate every strand of his being to push forward, even after he had gone halfway insane over the loss of his lover, almost convinced that it was all just a sick delusion his twisted brain came up with to fill in his pathetic life, even after he was forced to put behind the memories of the only times he was truly happy in favor of helping his companions, to help 'Yu Junghyeok', Kim Dokja had never protested.

He had silently endured all of it.

Never did he trouble Yu Junghyeok with the disappearance of his lover, nor did he even ask for assistance. Never did he lash out about how unfair it was for Yu Junghyeok to suddenly barge into his life, taking away the person he loved most and leaving him so, so painfully alone.

Never once did he think about hurting Yu Junghyeok or any of his other companions. All he ever thought about was these scenarios—what should he do to minimize the harm? What should he do so that they could safely reach the true end of everything?

That was all he did. Nothing more. Yet…

Just what made things go so wrong?

"Why are you standing around dazed like that, you dumbass?!"

A voice that he vaguely recognized as Han Suyeong rang beside him, but Kim Dokja just dazedly stared at her with a hollow look, still deep inside his wrecked mind.

With a glance that Dokja did not know how to translate, Han Suyeong pursed her lips and shoved him aside, facing Yu Junghyeok and started to take over the fight.

Dokja didn't know what Han Suyeong and Yu Junghyeok argued about. He just stood there like a lost child, trying to gather himself and silence his muddled mind. However, it proved to be a difficult task.

"All Kim Dokja did was read a novel! A stupidly long and boring novel!" Han Suyeong's loud exclamation suddenly reached his ears, each word trembling with anger.

Ah…

But actually, that wasn't all what Kim Dokja did, was it?

The unfairness that previously welled up in his chest was suddenly replaced by waves of guilt.

Kim Dokja did not only read the novel.

"What are you so pissed off about? About Kim Dokja approaching you while knowing everything about you? But aren't you the same? Just like him, you got info for yourself and have deceived everyone else until now, haven't you?" Han Suyeong yelled at the frowning Yu Junghyeok.

No. Han Suyeong was wrong.

"Of course, I know you were being sincere. I know that you did those things to save people, to reach an even better world… But what about Kim Dokja, then?"

Dokja wanted to tell her that she was wrong. He did want the best ending for all of them, but he was not that innocent. He was not that sincere.

Dokja also used the novel to approach a certain man with the same name as the protagonist.

He then abandoned the protagonist and fell in love with that other Yu Junghyeok, leaving the sanctuary the novel had granted him for years to chase his own happiness.

Then he also abandoned that Yu Junghyeok in favor of the protagonist, selfishly moving on and falling in love with another man with the same name, whilst also manipulating said man to not abandon the world where his lost love once existed.

And even then, he almost went to abandon that protagonist's worldline to save yet another man with the same name.

He wanted to say how disgusting he was.

But his voice wouldn't come out and his body didn't listen.

"Tell me, just which idiot would throw his life away because a character from a story is about to die?!"

Kim Dokja's mind was blank.

Han Suyeong talked as if he had some redeeming qualities, as if his actions were justified, but frankly, he didn't know anymore. What was the use of throwing away his life for someone if he ended up abandoning them?

Kim Dokja continued to stand on the sideline as his emotions were trashed all over by the wretched fruit. It swayed violently, pulling all kinds of dark thoughts to the forefront of his brain. Yet he felt like dissociating from his body, too numb to feel all the clashing emotions.

There was so much he wanted to say, but why couldn't he?

Why couldn't he even fight alongside Han Suyeong?

Said woman crashed in front of him, and only then did Kim Dokja manage to stumble beside her.

And he still had no idea what to say.

"You suck at telling your own story, that's why," she answered through her bleeding mouth.

That might be true. He was only a reader, after all, not an author.

"Kim Dokja. I know the end you've been wishing for."

Did she really?

She formed a smile as playful as ever. As if to wipe the blood on his cheek, she rubbed Dokja's face while murmuring, "What a pitiful guy you are…"

No. He wasn't pitiful. He was just pathetic.

When Han Suyeong's hand slumped lifelessly, Dokja was slammed back into reality.

He called Han Suyeong over and over again, but she didn't wake up.

What he heard was Yu Junghyeok's voice instead.

"Stand up, Kim Dokja."

Whichever version of Yu Junghyeok it was, Kim Dokja was always the only person who knew him best. And within that voice, Kim Dokja couldn't sense any guilt, no shaken emotions.

It was at that moment something inside Kim Dokja snapped.

There are some Stories that are simply too big and are difficult to read properly. If your mind isn't centered right, you will end up getting swept away by the Story, instead. That was one thing his Great Master Yu Hoseong had told him.

Kim Dokja was well aware of the danger. The greater the Story, the larger the burden he had to carry.

That was why he sought to make companions, to work together to create history, to create their own Stories. All for the sake of reaching a different conclusion than that of Yu Junghyeok's from the original storyline. That wish was what brought him this far.

And the end result of that wish was this.

He had forsaken his love, his happiness, his hope. He had buried the yearning he kept for his lost half, and had tainted his love just to continue this story.

He had understood that he would probably never meet his own Junghyeok again. He had started to believe that his own Junghyeok was a sacrifice for this story to happen. He had heartbreakingly accepted that he had lost him forever.

But the one he did all of that for had now trampled all over his efforts.

Did he need to keep reading this story, then?

Even though it broke his heart to vision a future without his other half, Dokja had genuinely imagined the final goal where every one of their companions would be there together. He truly believed that such a story was definitely achievable.

However, if that was impossible, then…

If all the histories that he had created so far were completely useless, then…

If the loss of his own Junghyeok and the breaking of his heart were for naught, then…

Then, the end he'd been dreaming about no longer held any meaning.

[I shall kill you, Yu Junghyeok.]

With that, both of them let go of any restraints they had been holding, charging towards each other with the intention to kill.

Or that was what Kim Dokja believed, because even as fierce as Yu Junghyeok was attacking, he did not exactly exude any thirst for blood. He fought as if he was desperately standing his ground, wanting for justification, wanting to seek answers, wanting to be heard.

Yet it was unfortunate that Kim Dokja was so lost in rage to see his desperation.

Yu Junghyeok didn’t bother to ask, and Kim Dokja didn't bother to reply.

Their identical stories fiercely told their narrations one after another, clashing so horribly yet strangely slotting back together like puzzle pieces, filling the blanks in each other's narrations.

The times they had lived through didn't match up with any of the pages Kim Dokja read in the past.

That was terrifyingly bizarre.

Yu Junghyeok's stories were told differently than Kim Dokja's despite having the same titles. There were some emotions present within them that Dokja did not dare to look too closely, lest he lost his stance.

"Come at me with everything you've got, Yu Junghyeok! Because I'll do the same, too," he spat out those words instead as his status continued to rise.

Yu Junghyeok's eyes shone with a strange light at those words, and their statuses rose to their highest before they collided.

His blade moved so fast that Dokja's eyes couldn't even follow it.

Then when their blades met, Yu Junghyeok started to tell his story.

Dokja tried to guess which words would follow that, which was an easy thing to do. Without a doubt, Yu Junghyeok would blame him. Just as Han Suyeong had said, he was that kind of a person, after all.

But…

At that, Kim Dokja's entire body froze.

The memories of his time in the 1863rd worldline surged through his chaotic mind and flashed vividly in front of his eyes. Faint cracking noises were echoing from the Unbreakable Faith.

Back then, Dokja thought it was the best choice available. He thought that after witnessing the end of the 1863rd turn, he would be able to return to the 3rd turn safely.

That was why he tried to find the story where everyone could be happy.

But what if Yu Junghyeok of the 1863rd turn didn't help him out back then?

What if Han Suyeong of the 1863rd turn wanted to kill him?

Would he have been able to return to this world unscathed?

Even though he thought that he knew the scenarios better than anyone, could it be that Dokja just got lucky enough to survive until now?

Yu Junghyeok's first sword slash sliced apart his shoulder.

The second strike split open his elbow.

The third strike punctured a hole in one of his wings.

It hurt like hell. But what was even more painful than that, however, was the rage and disappointment contained within Yu Junghyeok's voice.

In front of him was the Yu Junghyeok who gave up on the path of regression and decided to live out his 3rd turn because of him. In front of him was the Yu Junghyeok who loved this world more than anyone, and wanted to protect it because of that.

Ah…

So that was it.

In front of him was Yu Junghyeok who wanted his feelings to be answered.

Kim Dokja couldn't bring himself to return Yu Junghyeok's attacks.

There were more sounds of breaking, and distantly Dokja wondered if it was his heart.

He couldn't.

What would he answer with, anyway?

It was true that Kim Dokja had trampled all over Yu Junghyeok's emotions by choosing to stay in the 1863rd timeline. It was true that Kim Dokja had set aside his efforts and sacrifices to complete another world's ending.

And before that, Kim Dokja had set aside his goal to find out what happened to his own Junghyeok by choosing to pursue the ending of this world with the person in front of him. He had abandoned his hope and love.

He had betrayed them all. He had abandoned them all.

Yu Junghyeok still hadn't ceased his attacks, still desperately pouring all of his emotions, knowing far too well that Kim Dokja was reading him.

Just like how Kim Dokja observed him past this 'wall', he too was ceaselessly writing something just beyond it, hoping that someone would get to read it sooner or later.

Unfortunately, Kim Dokja couldn't reply. Because if he did, then…

Then, you'd end up becoming a mere character of the story.

Because… you definitely couldn't become a mere character.

If Yu Junghyeok was to be a mere character, then Kim Dokja would be able to justify his actions. Kim Dokja would be able to withdraw his guilt.

Yu Junghyeok's words floated above the 'wall'.

Kim Dokja did not wish to be forgiven.

Yu Junghyeok's words were like a sword that delivered the final blow to both of their hearts. They shattered like glass, scattered all over like sand in a desert. But Kim Dokja could do nothing except stay silent. If he were to say something, anything, as a reply, it was possible that Yu Junghyeok would have forgiven him. Maybe, a miracle might happen and Yu Junghyeok would accept him, even.

But they couldn't go back.

Yu Junghyeok had killed Han Suyeong, and Kim Dokja had once abandoned this worldline. Whatever they would do, they couldn't go back to being companions.

They collided for the last time, creating an enormous impact that destroyed their surroundings.

Kim Dokja was the first to stand back up. He staggered towards Yu Junghyeok, who was laying on the ground with injuries all over his body, not offering any resistance as Kim Dokja pointed his sword at him. Instead, a flash of something akin to want flickered in his eyes.

Kim Dokja's hand trembled.

This man was his father; his brother; and his oldest friend.

For a long time, Kim Dokja had been looking at him through this thick, thick wall. He was saved by him many times, and while looking at his story, he managed to survive, long enough to be given a chance to taste genuine happiness.

The Unbreakable Faith slowly clattered back on the ground.

He couldn't kill this man. Nor could he beg for his forgiveness, either.

Kim Dokja had never learned to be that cowardly. On the contrary, he was taught to pay the price for the things he had done. Multiple times.

They were still staring at each other.

Why are you staring at another person?

Why are you denying me?

Because that is our way of living. You acted, and I read you doing it, Kim Dokja did not answer.

It was always like this.

Kim Dokja refused to acknowledge the other meaning of Yu Junghyeok's words.

They couldn't be together. They were not meant to be.

They had their own roles, their own places, and Kim Dokja knew his place was not at this Yu Junghyeok's side.

Yu Junghyeok slowly got back up and grasped his blade tightly.

Dokja thought he could hear the sound of a story coming to an end. If this place was the endpoint for all the stories, and if he was destined to die right here, then wouldn't it be fine for him to at least say one thing?

So he dropped everything and said in a quiet voice, "Hey, Yu Junghyeok."

Yu Junghyeok stopped.

"You probably know this already, but I'm not a prophet. No, I'm as far as it can get from such a being."

Ever since they got into a tussle back on the Dongho Bridge, Dokja had never even once introduced himself properly. He was too caught up with the disappearance of his lover and everything was all a mess ever since then. To this Yu Junghyeok, Kim Dokja was the prophet, a man with a mysterious background.

"I'm not the 'Demon King of Salvation'."

"I'm also not the 'King of a Kingless World'."

One by one, his Stories stopped their storytelling. Excluding himself, everything else became dead still.

"My name is Kim Dokja."

The wings on his back disappeared, and the muscles shrunk back too. He looked rather similar to his appearance before the apocalypse. His plain, average, pathetic self.

Then he recalled the silly words he said out of nervousness back on his first date with the pro-gamer Yu Junghyeok.

"Twenty-eight… No, wait. I was twenty-eight, and I was an employee of a game company. My hobby was reading web novels…"

Inwardly, he chuckled. Who would introduce themselves to their date after knowing each other for two years anyway? He was such a trainwreck back then. Not that he was that much better now.

Despite the irony of doing this again in front of another Yu Junghyeok, Dokja told his own story as if he was talking to someone he met for the first time.

"It's pathetic, right? Well, this is who I am… Yu Junghyeok, who are you?"

To Kim Dokja, this Yu Junghyeok was someone he 'knew' since a very long time ago. To be more specific, he was someone he read about all by himself.

That was why he had never heard about Yu Junghyeok's story in his own words.

Then Yu Junghyeok finally opened his mouth, "I am Yu Junghyeok."

His blade slowly moved and cut Kim Dokja down.

"Yu Junghyeok, a former Regressor."

Dokja was lying in pitch-black darkness by the time he regained his consciousness.

Did he die?

Did Yu Junghyeok kill him?

With jumbled thoughts swirling around his mind, he slowly stood back up. He was in complete darkness, but just as when he felt lost, a bright light from a lantern lit up in front of his eyes.

⸢(Dokja-ssi, so this was where you've been all this time.)⸥

Dokja doubted his ears. 'Is that you, Yu Sangah-ssi?'

Yu Sangah's familiar face approached, full of worry.

⸢(Are you alright?)⸥

Dokja wasn't quite sure. 'Where am I…?'

⸢(You're inside the Library.)⸥

Ah. Most likely, he got sucked inside [The Fourth Wall] when he blacked out again.

'By the way, is it always this dark inside?'

⸢(No, it's just that the Library is in a state of chaos at the moment. The aftershocks of the battle this time killed off all the lanterns inside, and all the bookshelves have fallen down. Everyone is doing their best trying to restore everything right now.)⸥

Shame creeped into Dokja's chest. Ah, so Yu Sangah had witnessed his and Yu Junghyeok's embarrassing fight.  'My apologies. I have created a lot of trouble for you'.

Yu Sangah grinned softly and shook her head.

⸢(No, not at all.)⸥

Still, he was particularly guilty and ashamed. 'Is there anything I can do to help…?'

⸢(Oh, no. It's fine. You should lay here and rest. I'll sit here and take a short break, as well.)⸥

Dokja's shame only climbed up at her words. He tried his best not to flinch when she sat down next to him.

⸢(You really did well.)⸥

'…In regards to?'

⸢(When you said those things.)⸥

Dokja didn't need a lot of time to figure out what she meant by those words. That proved the fact that she had indeed witnessed everything from behind the [Fourth Wall].

⸢(A proper relationship starts from the act of introducing oneself first, doesn't it? It's possible that you two might become real friends this time.)⸥

Dokja was skeptical. '…That would be great if such a thing was possible, but…'

He did not dare to expect much. Honestly, Yu Junghyeok's anger getting soothed was already a big relief, but any more than that was unthinkable. No matter what he said, it'd be quite impossible to soften the sense of betrayal Yu Junghyeok must have felt.

And he only knew half of the story.

Trying to steer the topic away, Dokja stared around. Books were discarded on the floor, rolling around everywhere. Without thinking too much about it, he picked one up.

He sneakily closed the book and chucked the damn thing deep into the darkness.

⸢(Uhm, excuse me, Dokja-ssi?)⸥

'Yes?'

⸢(Actually, well, I read that book. Just a little bit.)⸥

'…How much did you read?'

⸢(…Almost the whole book, if I'm honest. I find these more interesting than the 'Ways of Survival', you see… I'm sorry.)⸥

This time, Dokja's face reddened from a different kind of embarrassment, but there was little that could be done when she had already read it. If only the 'Library' came with a feature of an instant grave, he would definitely jump into it.

'It's fine. I do feel a bit ashamed, but still,' he managed through pursed lips.

Dokja did think that, with Yu Sangah being a part of the 'Library', such memories would end up getting exposed anyway. Every book contained inside this space, they were all his memories.

Yu Sangah's expression was hard to see in the darkness, but Dokja could feel the waves of guilt from her direction, so he picked up a book from the floor, as casually as he could manage, and opened it.

Kim Dokja, 15 years old. 18 years old. 23. 28…

Dokja slowly flipped through the pages.

Kim Dokja, who didn't have a father.

Kim Dokja, who didn't have any friends.

Kim Dokja, who lost his mother.

It was a life that always lacked something, or a life where something kept disappearing from it.

What sorrowfully reasonable words those were.

Dokja felt his lips curled wryly.

Sensing Yu Sangah's gaze, Dokja consciously sat up straighter. He wasn't sure why, but it felt like other Librarians were also looking at him.

Carefully, Dokja shifted his gaze away and mentally checked the secret place deep under his consciousness, a hidden room where he kept all the memories about his own Junghyeok sealed tight. It didn't seem like any of his Librarians were aware that some of his memories were missing.

Good.

Yu Sangah tried to distract him by talking about what they would have become if the world did not fall into the scenarios. She told him about her imagination, how they would still be friends, getting old together in a peaceful and mundane world.

Dokja smiled slightly.

That could be true. But it wasn't the only thing that could happen.

If the scenarios didn't start, Dokja would still be in a happy relationship with Junghyeok. He would have met his little sister Mia and went to the picnic they had arranged for her. Maybe Dokja would be brave enough to let their friends know about their relationship.

Maybe Junghyeok would have succeeded in convincing Dokja to move in together, living a blissful domestic life. That had been his not-so-hidden agenda ever since they started dating, after all. Dokja kind of regretted that he was too shy to accept Junghyeok's invitation back then.

Maybe, years later, Junghyeok would even propose. Dokja had always thought that Junghyeok was the type of person who was into marriage.

Thinking of that now only emphasized how big a chance in happiness he had lost.

So instead, Dokja smiled and said, 'I don't think I'd have gotten married. I couldn't even take care of myself properly back then.'

When Dokja opened his eyes, a few days had passed since his fight with Yu Junghyeok and Han Suyeong was sitting beside him, waiting for him to come back to the world of the living.

His confusion and shock over her survival was soon replaced by a numb feeling once he saw the date on his phone, however. He just followed Han Suyeong's attempt to lighten the mood by joking about the possibility of him receiving a new constellation modifier after eating the 'Fruit of Good and Evil'.

"Should I make one up for you, then?" Han Suyeong said mockingly, twisting her face as if she was really thinking hard to give Dokja a new modifier.

"Mm… What will sound nice on you, I wonder. How about 'I Pass Out Too Often-Man'? Or 'Miraculous Piehole'—eh? H-hey, are you… crying?"

Dokja's tear-filled face was reflected in her widened eyes. Ah, he did not realize he was crying.

Actually, Dokja wanted to ask her, an author. As she was a writer, maybe she'd be able to tell him straight.

Tell him that he did good until now—whether he made the wrong choices or not, whether he would get to see the desired conclusion when he reached the end of this story or not.

Tell him that he did good enduring everything.

"Hey, why are you crying like that? I get it, okay? I get it, so stop. There, there," Han Suyeong frantically said, looking horrified.

It was the first time Dokja had seen Han Suyeong so flustered, as if she had no idea how to console a crying child, not sure if she wanted to pat his head or his shoulder. Dokja kind of wanted to laugh. Then she began rummaging through her pockets. Next thing he knew, something sweet and slightly sour entered his mouth.

"Why are you crying on a nice day like this? I mean, it's even snowing, too… I promise to think up a nice Modifier later, okay?" said Han Suyeong, before avoiding Dokja's gaze to stare into the snowy city outside.

Dokja swallowed back the weary laugh and instead smiled slightly, sucking the sour lemon candy.

Nothing important, really.

That day was the 15th of February. And Dokja just remembered his boyfriend had promised to spend this day together, once upon a time.

His mind was shaken again when he felt the familiar status approaching him, along with a painfully familiar silhouette of the one he loved most.

Ah. They did all indeed possess the same face.

By this point, Dokja had come to a conclusion he was afraid to embrace.

How ridiculous your life is, Kim Dokja.

His mind flickered shut as he felt the Secretive Plotter lift his dying body.

Kim Dokja stared out of the subway window to the retreating backs of Kim Dokja's Company.

He smiled at [Fourth Wall]'s message.

This was his atonement. He couldn't save any other Yu Junghyeoks, but at least, he had the chance to give this one a proper ending.

"This was the only way."

It was just a sliver of responsibility, an innocent wish to see a story closer.

How ironic was that?

Kim Dokja was floating in the Bulgwang station like a ghost, knowing far too well about what would happen to the clueless people around him.

His gaze instantly locked to the one he knew so intimately, to the one he loved most.

Yu Junghyeok was staring outside the subway window, a faraway look on his face.

To other people, Yu Junghyeok's gaze would appear disinterested. If Kim Dokja didn't know better, he would think that Yu Junghyeok was very nonchalant about the apocalypse that would soon happen.

But Kim Dokja wasn't other people. He knew Yu Junghyeok thoroughly, enough to see the faint excitement among the deep contemplation beneath the stoic gaze, as if this fool was excited and full of hope about something despite another distress.

Was it an early regression, then?

It was the only explanation why this Yu Junghyeok was still somewhat relaxed and carefree, still full of hope.

It somehow reminded him of his lost love, once upon a time.

Still, Kim Dokja couldn't stop the wave of affection and admiration towards the man. He was trembling just thinking about the scenario that was about to begin in a couple of minutes, but Yu Junghyeok was so calm and collected despite having gone through it a few times.

…You're really an amazing guy, aren't you.

Kim Dokja started to speculate which regression this was. If it was the original third regression, then Yu Junghyeok would start it by killing everyone in this subway car. But he was too relaxed. Maybe it was the 2nd turn? Or any other turn after the one that ended rather peacefully? Where Yu Junghyeok's mind was still pacified, probably? Maybe the 1000th?

As Kim Dokja was busy thinking, the mad bomber Choi Hangyu had begun his action.

Kim Dokja watched in confusion when Yu Junghyeok remained frozen in his place instead of starting his murder spree. 

What happened?

Yu Junghyeok's face, which he thought was calmness personified, was actually ashen white with fear and anxiety.

What is he doing?

Something cold creeped along Dokja's metaphorical spine when the train car's light flickered shut and a dokkaebi—Bihyeong, that idiot—appeared with the first Main Scenario.

Yu Junghyeok hadn't done anything. He was still frozen in shock.

There had to be something very wrong here. There was no way Yu Junghyeok didn’t know what to do.

Unless… It was the only turn where he didn't have any memories of a past life.

Dokja watched with bated breath when Yu Junghyeok showed no sign of movement. If it continued like this, Yu Junghyeok could end up getting hurt from the explosion. Was he really supposed to just watch Yu Junghyeok die before he even completed the first scenario? What would happen to the rest of the regressions?

His body moved before his mind finished the thought.

Kim Dokja removed his hand from Choi Hangyu's neck. '…I know already, so don't worry.'

He mustn't change the story.

He was only a reader.

Still, when Yu Junghyeok picked up a wrench and activated his initial attribute to defeat the terrorist, Kim Dokja couldn't help but wonder where was his sponsor right now.

Yu Junghyeok was supposed to form his contract nearing the end of his first life.

'Does Yu Junghyeok's sponsor exist in this world?'

The 'Oldest Dream' existed in this world.

The being that became the 'Oldest Dream' much earlier than him—the younger version of Kim Dokja, or something that was presumably his 'younger version', definitely existed. He was the sole existence that allowed Yu Junghyeok to regress, starting the entire story in the first place.

But his lack of presence had been bothering Kim Dokja.

He had inherited the [Final Wall] and could sense everything in this world's <Star Stream>. There was no being that he couldn't sense.

Yet the 'Oldest Dream' was absent.

Except if…

Huh.

Someone had said that Kim Dokja was an expert in denial, once, but he was never oblivious.

Was that his own Junghyeok?

All Yu Junghyeoks he had met had called him a fool, but none of them actually doubted his intelligence. Kim Dokja was naturally talented in reading between the lines and drawing conclusions.

He was now the 'Oldest Dream'.

Whatever fuckery would happen in the future, the most important thing at that moment was he currently possessed the power to interfere with this worldline.

With a spark of plausibility, Kim Dokja activated a Deux ex Machina to shield Yu Junghyeok from the debris of the mad bomber's explosion.

His fingers were tingling from the impact of a sudden plausibility storm, but the pain was worth it to see Yu Junghyeok standing unharmed without serious injuries.

For a moment, their eyes met. For a moment, the world seemed like it came to a standstill. A wave of hot emotions surged through Kim Dokja's being as he properly looked at this Yu Junghyeok’s face. There was innocence and genuine wonder beneath that bewildered expression, something that Kim Dokja had known to be missing in other Yu Junghyeoks he had met.

Yu Junghyeok shakily whispered, "…Who?"

Kim Dokja longed.

He had been ignoring the [Fourth Wall]'s warning when he slipped into the <Star Stream> with his first constellation modifier and slapped Yu Junghyeok's head as he was about to choose a sponsor, but Dokja didn't really care. He had initially wanted to use the modifier 'Oldest Dream', but it seemed like his mastery over the skill [Overwrite] wasn't yet high enough to use that modifier.

If Yu Junghyeok couldn't get the Oldest Dream, then he shouldn't be contracted to anyone.

However, when Yu Junghyeok ran into the next cabin and questioned Lee Hyeonseong and Kim Namwun, his blood went cold.

Yu Junghyeok was searching for a man with a certain description.

His description.

What was the meaning of this? What?!

Dokja tried to coax him with some indirect messages, but Yu Junghyeok ignored them all, still frantically searching for a certain man.

Dutifully, Kim Dokja guided Yu Junghyeok and his companions through the scenarios, ensuring none of them suffered from big casualties.

The longer he watched, the higher his suspicion became.

This Yu Junghyeok wasn't like any other Yu Junghyeoks written in the Ways of Survival. Even many of his little mannerisms were different from Yu Junghyeok he was used to back in the 1864th worldline.

If anything, he resembled the one Yu Junghyeok he had lost on that fateful day.

Even after he essentially ascended into godhood, it seemed like the universe was still hellbent on fucking with Kim Dokja's life.

His suspicion was proved true once and for all when Yu Junghyeok used Han Donghun's skill to call a number.

His fellow constellations wouldn't be able to look at what Yu Junghyeok was doing with his phone, as all the information about 'Kim Dokja' was strangely censored and erased from this worldline, but the man in question could see it clearly.

Yu Junghyeok was calling his old number.

Plausibility sparked around him as he lay on the subway car floor. He ignored [Fourth Wall]'s warning as he curled into himself, shaking and crying over the realization that he was really seeing the worldline he had lost.

There was nothing he wanted more than to incarnate into that worldline and hold the one he had lost with his own hands, but the universe was cruel. Reality was cruel. Even though he was omniscient, he wasn't omnipotent.

Why was that when he had a genuine wish, it was always something that he couldn't get?

Plausibility sparked brighter, along with his growing desire.

The pain reminded him that he no longer belonged to that worldline. His new status wouldn't allow him to leave this subway train anymore. Not until his infinite journey ended. Not until all of his sins were atoned.

Among his agony, an old guilt reappeared. He had found his own Yu Junghyeok again, but he had also betrayed him.

His Junghyeok was right there, trying his best to survive and was searching day and night for him with desperation. Yet, what had he done? He went and stayed at the 1864th worldline, meeting and falling in love with another man with the same face as his past lover, sacrificing everything for that worldline, even leaving almost half of himself to stay there, unaware that he had abandoned his most loved one.

Maybe it would be slightly better if he knew which one of the two worldlines he loved more, but he didn't.

The [Fourth Wall] was uncharacteristically silent, watching over him muttering apologies until he fell asleep in exhaustion.

Ever since realizing the true identity of this worldline, Kim Dokja ceased all restraint when helping Yu Junghyeok.

For once in his life, he wanted to give this Yu Junghyeok, whom he loved and who had loved him back, a proper conclusion and a happy ending.

When Yu Junghyeok finally asked about 'Kim Dokja', he could only fight the wave of pain in his chest as he sent an indirect message.

If he couldn't go back to Yu Junghyeok, then it was better to make him stop hoping.

When Yu Junghyeok told him about his past, finally asking to be his incarnation, Kim Dokja felt like his heart was crushed to pieces.

Ah, he knew.

Yu Junghyeok had realized who he was.

Since when, Dokja didn't know. He kind of expected it, somehow. He was never the best at pretending in front of Yu Junghyeok, ever since they first met.

"Does the secret of this world lie beyond the wall, where you are?"

Kim Dokja was a uselessly selfless person, who cared about his loved ones' wellbeing more than his own happiness, so he pleaded. Please, no.

"I am happy," Yu Junghyeok replied without a shred of hesitation. "And that's why I'm even more curious about what lies beyond the wall."

Please don't go over here. Please don't. Please.

"I'm curious about the reason behind all the goodwill you've shown me. I'm also curious about the meaning of my life, where I was born, and why I had to come here. If I had one more chance…"

Kim Dokja heard the underlying meaning of those words. He didn’t have to be told explicitly to understand that he was included in that wish. He was the source of Yu Junghyeok’s existence, wasn't he? And Yu Junghyeok knew that.

Why was he going this far for someone like him?

"Why not?"

But Kim Dokja was also a liar. A pretender.

Kim Dokja was also a selfish person.

Kim Dokja also wanted to be happy.

I want to go back to you. I miss you. I wanna be with you.

Yu Junghyeok furrowed his brows, thinking. "An arduous path?"

"Regress?"

Kim Dokja was going to doom the one he loved most with the cruelest of fate.

Sparks of plausibility stung his limbs as he sent the forbidden number. The storm was so bad it burned his skin and flesh, but all of his nerves were numb, too used to the abuse.

"1864? What's that supposed to mean?"

Ah… Kim Dokja blinked.

Even if this Yu Junghyeok did reach the 1864th turn, there was no guarantee that he'd meet 'Kim Dokja' in possession of the [Fourth Wall].

Dokja's eyes widened at [Fourth Wall]'s message. Hadn't this one been trying its best to keep him from interfering too much with this worldline?

Goosebumps broke out all over Kim Dokja's skin.

If so, the worldline would think of this Yu Junghyeok as the 'original' Yu Junghyeok.

He'd be incorporated back into the original's world-line, and live through the first and the second regression turns without any memories from this life.

Kim Dokja laughed, the sound twisted and sour.

If this Yu Junghyeok was going to end up as the one in the 1864th worldline, then that would mean he had fallen in love with the same person, hadn't he?

Like a man losing his sanity, Kim Dokja continued to laugh out loud at the ridiculousness of it all.

All these times, he was despairing over a useless guilt.

He had never betrayed Yu Junghyeok, after all. He was just falling in love with the same person all over again.

The laugh turned into choked sobs after a while. He was freed from one guilt. But at what cost?

"I don't care even if the odds are low," Yu Junghyeok firmly said, breaking Kim Dokja out of his maddening reverie.

Ah…

Kim Dokja chuckled in bitterness. What a fool.

He didn't know if it was the universe or himself who was crueler. His entire existence seemed to be a joke for the universe.

Except he knew that it was all his fault. No one forced him to make these decisions. No one forced him to grant this ridiculous wish of Yu Junghyeok. There was literally no one who would punish him if he didn't start this tragedy all over again.

But Kim Dokja was a selfish man, wasn't he?

He might reason it as his inability to deny Yu Junghyeok from anything. But he knew the ugly truth.

Despite dooming the person he loved most with the cruelest of fate, Kim Dokja still wanted to be saved.

He still wanted to have that tiny light of comfort that they would probably meet again in the far future.

The Story began its storytelling, and the starlights seemed to extend even further.

Kim Dokja felt a part of him extending to envelop Yu Junghyeok's body.

Ah. He missed him so badly.

There was no use for staying silent, was there? He knew that Yu Junghyeok knew who he really was.

So Kim Dokja used his true voice for the first time in a long while.

[Yu Junghyeok.]

It had truly been a while. An incredible storm of plausibility raged on around him, as if telling how big of a tragedy he was about to cause.

No need to remind him, really. He knew it best.

Yu Junghyeok opened his eyes wide and looked up at the sky. From where Dokja saw him through the screen, it looked like Junghyeok was staring straight into his eyes.

"Was that your real voice?"

[That's right.]

"…I can hear it surprisingly well."

A faint crease spread over the old man Yu Junghyeok's expression.

If there was some doubt left in him that the Demon King of Salvation was Kim Dokja himself, it was surely obliterated by now.

Dokja pretended to not see that, lest his composure break.

[I can send you back. However, if that happens, I won't be able to help you from the next turn onwards.]

The only way to make him reject the offer was to tell him the truth. Even though Kim Dokja knew there was no use.

They were both stubborn, but Kim Dokja was weak to Yu Junghyeok. Always.

[You'll have to use nothing but your own powers to break past the scenarios. Those scenarios will be far worse than you can ever imagine, and… And, you might end up encountering something you didn't want to at the conclusion you'd eventually reach.]

The despair of 'Yu Junghyeok' was unimaginable.

Even after reading his story for over ten years, Kim Dokja only knew the surface of the sorrow Yu Junghyeok had felt.

[And if you do choose 'regression', then… You will lose the majority of your memories as you cross over.]

This… would surely make him rethink his decision.

Kim Dokja didn't know why he was still trying to change Yu Junghyeok's decision when they both knew it was impossible. Inevitable. It was as though the will to chase Kim Dokja was written in the core of Yu Junghyeok’s being, and would remain unchanging no matter what world or life he was in.

Kim Dokja wondered what he had done to deserve such a devotion.

[Only the tiniest fragmented memories from the scenarios will remain in you.]

Yu Junghyeok sucked a sharp breath.

[Meaning, everything precious to you will disappear. Lee Seolhwa you remember, Lee Hyeonseong, Lee Jihye, all of them will…]

"Just because I will forget about them doesn't mean they'll suddenly stop existing."

Kim Dokja shut his mouth.

"They definitely continue to live in this world."

Like branding a seal, those words slammed into a part of Kim Dokja's head and burrowed deep inside. It felt as if a gigantic hand of fate was pouncing upon him.

Ah, fate truly was cruel.

The reason why there was no trace of the 'Oldest Dream' in the 0th turn, the reason why, despite that fact, Yu Junghyeok still managed to cross over to the first and then, to the second regression turns…

Kim Dokja had always known.

[…You dumb bastard.]

Shaking, Kim Dokja gathered his hands and used the power to manipulate the dream.

The storm of plausibility's aftermath caused his whole arms to tremble in pain as if it was getting electrocuted, twisted and torn off from his body. Yet, what was that pain compared to what Yu Junghyeok would go through?

He recalled all of Yu Junghyeok's regression turns that he knew and read. He gathered all the lives Yu Junghyeok had led, as well as the Stories he knew, and created a certain Stigma.

This Stigma was the motive power of this world, as well as the source of all of Yu Junghyeok's tragedies.

Yu Junghyeok stared at the system message with satisfaction.

As his incarnation accepted the stigma, Kim Dokja curled up in a fetal position, feeling the bolts of physical pain and waves of emotion crashing through his trembling body.

He was truly a despicable being.

"You said earlier that I'll lose my memories."

[…I did.]

"Will I lose everything related to you, too?"

Kim Dokja would remain as the only one who remembered their entire story.

"Even all that convenient information you told me, too?"

[…Yes.]

"I see."

All of Yu Junghyeok's memories that couldn't be recorded anywhere would be lost forever. And then, after an eternity, when Kim Dokja had fused into his new role as the 'Oldest Dream', the last memories of them would be lost forever as well.

In that case, where would all those memories go?

[If you regret it, then it's not too late to…]

"You also said you won't help me from the next regression turn onwards."

[I can't help you.]

Kim Dokja was certain that he wouldn't have the power to interfere with the 'closed worldlines' like he had done with this one. Even just interfering with a single turn had caused him to lose so much plausibility.

He was now visibly younger than how he had been when he first found this worldline. His coat and shoes had been a few sizes too big for a while.

If he continued to recklessly challenge his own role, he didn't know what would happen to him. To other worldlines. To the people he had left behind. To Yu Junghyeok.

All beings in the universe had to follow a certain role, even the gods. And Kim Dokja's role from here onwards was to only be a reader. A watcher. A dreamer.

"It's fine to help, however," Yu Junghyeok said, a faint light of hope—of plea—was flickering in his eyes.

[Even if I want to, I can't.]

"I heard that the scenarios exist not just for the Incarnations, but Constellations as well. Maybe it was the same story for you."

Kim Dokja couldn't say anything.

These were utterances of someone who didn't know anything. In every sense of the word, he was the 0th turn's dumbass continuously babbling on while having no clue about his own future.

He had no clue of all the sins Kim Dokja had committed, all the tears he had shed, all the lives he had sacrificed, all the tragedies he had caused.

He would become the 'Secretive Plotter' someday, the King of Outer Gods and Master of N'Gai's Forest, and…

And at the same time, also become the 1864th turn's Yu Junghyeok that he knew; his Life and Death Companion.

He would grow to resent Kim Dokja, all forms of him, and eventually reach the truth of this world.

Along with the words that hadn't been said yet, Yu Junghyeok's ears began disappearing.

"Tell me, you fool. If I continue to regress, will I ever get to meet you again?"

Yu Junghyeok reached his hand towards the night sky as his body began to disappear.

Kim Dokja was certainly crying, shaking so badly and all choked up with his uneven breathing. His hand was desperately touching the screen where Yu Junghyeok was standing, looking at him so tenderly as if he was personally wiping Kim Dokja's tears.

Kim Dokja yearned.

"Demon King of Salvation."

All of the raw feelings, the devotion, the affection, the vow, all of them were laid bare on Yu Junghyeok's face as his body rapidly deteriorated into silver sparkles.

What a strange and mystifying expression.

"I shall pray that you may continue to exist somewhere, too."

Wait for me. I'll go to where you are.

Both of them heard the unspoken words.

It was always empty inside the subway car, and he slowly lost count of how many millenia it had been.

Somewhere among the darkness, Kim Dokja heard a knock.

Chapter Text

In a particular world, Yu Junghyeok, once known as the Great Plotter, King of Outer Gods and Master of N'Gai's Forest, grunted and touched his temple after a big wave of memories assaulted his mind.

When the memories had settled down, he couldn't help but laugh, eyes looking down at the face of a child who was slumbering in his arms.

The child blinked awake, seemingly dazed for a couple seconds before his eyes widened in surprise as he smiled serenely, touching Yu Junghyeok's scarred cheek.

"Junghyeok-ah…" the child said, soft. The different manner of addressing surprised Yu Junghyeok.

Suddenly, the eyes of a child he'd been raising were nowhere to be seen. In their place were the eyes of a man—a star—he loved so dearly many eternities ago.

No. He wasn't quite surprised, actually.

"You were a little late… I had forgotten all about you…"

Ah, he remembered too.

Yu Junghyeok took the small hand on his cheek and kissed its palm. "Sorry it took me so long… And sorry for letting you forget…"

The child shook his head. "You're here now, aren't you? That's all that matters."

Yes. That was all that mattered.

After thousands of years of bitter resentment and fruitless revenge, Yu Junghyeok had found the person he had lost on that fateful day, and Yu Junghyeok vowed to never lose him again.

Chapter Text

In another world, Yu Junghyeok, a former Regressor on his 1865th turn and the Life and Death Companion of a certain constellation, violently woke up with an aching heart.

He remembered.

He remembered everything.

There was nothing he could do except bark a sardonic laugh, because he would be crying like a dying beast otherwise. But even that pathetic laugh was quickly extinguished.

His memories of the 0th turn had been coming back gradually since before they went with the group regression, but they were always in small flickers, not enough for them to make sense. Not like this.

He remembered everything right after they got back to the 1864th worldline, right after they took back a slumbering child from beyond the Final Wall.

Right after he had lost his Life and Death Companion from between his fingers again.

How ironic.

All this time, he had already found the one he'd been unknowingly searching for ever since that very first life.

And he had lost him.

Again.

Without even a chance to realize how much deeper that person’s existence meant to him.

It had always been him. In thousands ways more than one.

There were no tears, no sound, nothing. He was silent, as if nothing could come out of his empty shell of a body anymore.

If the feeling he'd had when his sponsor was cut off from him was a complete loss, then this feeling he was currently experiencing was utter despair.

Yu Junghyeok gathered his things and left the industrial complex, an old pocket watch in hand.

Yu Junghyeok, a former Regressor on his 1865th turn and the Life and Death Companion of a certain constellation, gripped his sword tight as he approached the museum.

He would die today.

He was tired. So unbearably tired.

Two years of fooling himself was enough.

He had roamed without destination for the past two years, mourning, visiting each nook and cranny of the world to search for something. Anything. Anything that could give him closure.

It was fruitless, of course, because he knew Kim Dokja had taken his ■■ away with him.

No matter how hard he tried to search for a reason, a purpose, they were all futile.

He was lost, like a sailor in a dingy boat in the middle of a starless ocean.

So he would die today.

He ignored Han Suyeong's taunts, charging forward to the [Final Ark].

Han Suyeong growled at him. "Yu Junghyeok. I'm sure you already know this, but… I really, really hate to see a rotten apple spoiling the whole barrel."

He hated it too.

"You know, I was feeling pretty good up until a few minutes ago. Specifically, before you started doing this crap, that is… I guess the peace of the past two years has been too sweet for me, seeing how I've completely forgotten about what kind of a bastard you are."

Yu Junghyeok almost snorted.

Peace, huh.

He had never known peace ever since he looked back at that train with half of Kim Dokja inside.

Maybe that was why he left the industrial complex. He couldn't stand seeing other people move on with their lives while he was still lost chasing the light of a dead star.

Grieving was harder to do in a world that had moved on.

"Speak up! Why today, of all days? Why have you been staying quiet for the last two years only to start this crap today?!" Han Suyeong barked, her voice shrill with rage.

Because that day was supposed to be his and Kim Dokja's anniversary.

"None of your business," Yu Junghyeok replied instead, expressionless and cold, belying the raging anguish inside him.

He was the only one left who remembered it.

"Aha, is that so."

Han Suyeong charged forward with everything she had. Neither of them held back, one out of anger and one out of resignation. They conversed with slashes, punches and kicks, each attack strong enough to destroy a building.

"I always hated you. And regretted it, too. Why did I write the story of someone like you with my own hands?"

Yu Junghyeok was never close to Han Suyeong, but years of planning and leading the company in Dokja's absence made him familiar enough with the author. He knew she would never say these words in normal circumstances. Yet Yu Junghyeok stayed silent, receiving all of her anger and sending back his despair.

"I cursed my other self. If this story didn't exist, none of these things would've happened. No one would've died. And Kim Dokja might have…!" she faltered as her face twisted.

That was the catch, wasn't it?

The world might have survived, no one would've died, and Yu Junghyeok wouldn't have to go through thousands of hellish lives, or he might not even exist at all.

But Kim Dokja might not have survived.

Without that story, Kim Dokja might have perished long before he even had a chance to be loved.

Was it such a bad thing that Yu Junghyeok was relieved the novel was written?

Han Suyeong growled in frustration, "We already failed. Since we came home with our tails between our legs, you should've quietly accepted it and moved on. Have you really forgotten everything the [Fourth Wall] said to us?"

How could he forget?

But Yu Junghyeok had tasted how it was like to have all of Kim Dokja, once.

"Spoken like a true loser. You simply gave up, that's all."

And Yu Junghyeok was a greedy man.

Han Suyeong stepped back with wide eyes, seeming like she was truly looking at him properly for once. Yu Junghyeok knew how he must've looked. He was a mess.

Pathetic.

Speaking of, Han Suyeong's power hadn't diminished that much compared to how it was at the height of the apocalypse. Before, it would be impossible for her to fight evenly with him, but now she could actually keep up with his diminished Transcendent status.

Ah, she had inherited this Story, hadn’t she.

"This world no longer needs the system. Yet, why did you receive that Story from him?"

The author spat, "Obviously to maintain Kim Dokja's life."

Was that truly the case?

"Why did you do something like that? You should know this. That fool cannot wake up again," Yu Junghyeok said back, emotionless.

"Kim Dokja isn't dead y—!"

"If you really believe that, then why are you stopping me?"

Han Suyeong stopped dead at his words.

That was the problem with both of them, wasn't it?

Two of their wishes clashed painfully against each other. They simultaneously wanted to keep hoping and wanted the hope to crumble for good.

Only the both of them couldn't take any step forward since that day.

"…Yu Junghyeok, wake the hell up! You think this is what Kim Dokja really wants? He told you, didn't he? He told you not to abandon this world. And you also agreed!"

"That's right. I agreed not to regress."

He didn't come here to regress.

"Don't make me laugh! You can't regress anymore, that's what. If you still could do it, you'd probably have gone back!!"

His answer was shot without delay, "I may have."

If there was the littlest sliver of hope that he could save Kim Dokja, or even just see his smile and hear his voice once more, he knew he would jump in without hesitation.

"Are you any different?"

Han Suyeong looked like she was stabbed from the inside.

Kim Dokja had said it in another life; you don't have to regress to become a regressor.

The both of them were still trapped in the loop of regression, couldn't take any step forward from that certain point and carve their own ending. They were stuck, couldn't let go of the cursed hope and the weight of their failures.

Han Suyeong panted breathlessly and spoke, "What do you think will change if you do this now?"

Yu Junghyeok didn’t answer.

"Even if you leave, you won't find Kim Dokja. And you can't even go anywhere."

That was true.

"Besides, this world-line's [Ark] is already destroyed. Did you forget what happened back during the final battle? That isn't an ark. And we can't leave this world-line even if we wanted to!"

He did not need the reminder.

The powers of the two people collided once more. Their magic powers were just an echo of what it once was, yet it was enough to shake the peace of this new world. It clouded the area with extreme plausibility sparks and summoned a magic storm.

Standing at the center of this storm, Yu Junghyeok said, "I've compiled so many Stories up until now, but I still do not know what my ■■ is."

The vigorous, ferocious Story exploded within the air. He didn't pay any heed to the precious Stories being damaged and simply swung his fists.

Every being that was present in the final moments of <Star Stream> had reached their ■■ and received their conclusion. Even that outer god version of himself had finally been granted a liberation, stepping out of the 'story' and into an unknown beginning.

But not him.

Yu Junghyeok had spent the latter half of his 1864th regression trying to prove that he wasn't just a mere 'character'. Yet now that he had broken free from the confines of the 'story', he was clueless on where he should be heading.

What was the purpose of an existence that was made to clear scenarios in a world without scenarios?

What should a regressor who couldn't regress anymore do?

What path should a person who has lost his conclusion take to gain a closure?

"You wrote my story. In that case, you should also know where my story is supposed to end."

A spark of surprise flashed through Han Suyeong's face when their eyes met. Ah. She had realized his real motive.

"Hit me with everything you've got, Han Suyeong."

This was Yu Junghyeok's last stand.

The fighter who had endured countless battles, the leader who had continuously lost the ones he wanted to protect, the regressor who had repeated lengthy lifetimes…

The man who had lost the one he loved most…

He was tired.

Han Suyeong's lower lip trembled slightly as Yu Junghyeok watched her piecing it all together.

Yu Junghyeok wished to die in this place.

Not by the hands of anyone, but by the existence who had written his very first sentence.

Maybe it had begun way back when he first considered Kim Dokja as a companion.

Once upon a time, Kim Dokja had convinced him to not regress anymore. The thought of not having Kim Dokja in his next regression had filled him with indescribable fear that made him swear off regressions for the rest of his life.

Really, Yu Junghyeok wasn't afraid of death. What he was truly afraid of was to live a life without Kim Dokja.

He stared into Han Suyeong's eyes with resolution.

There was no meaning to his existence anymore.

Han Suyeong screamed, "Screw you!! You've never, ever done what I wanted from you, so what the hell!!"

They started their fight again, more ferocious and desperate than ever. Every single one of their Great Stories was being told, screaming and shrieking every bit of emotion they had bottled up ever since the beginning.

Both of them knew; they were the last people who were unable to forgive themselves.

The rest of the Company stood silent on the sidelines, watching the Stories they had compiled together cry their words one by one.

This was the end of their mourning.

It ended in both of them being carried away in gurneys as the rest of the Company dealt with the aftermath of their fight.

Yu Junghyeok stared at that spectacle for a long while before he opened his mouth, "…Kim Dokja is supposed to be scattered throughout the rest of the universe."

Han Suyeong, who lay on the gurney next to his, with the same forlorn eyes as him, stayed silent.

Kim Dokja's soul was scattered away into fine little pieces.

How much of him truly remained within those tiny fragments? 

All they were sure about was that those tiny 'Kim Dokjas' had been reborn in foreign worldlines. Maybe he was reborn as a human, or a demon, or a grasshopper, or who knew? Maybe a squid.

He could be reborn as a human outside of the Korean peninsula, maybe even in a different kind of earth.

"Do you think that that fool has become happier now?" Yu Junghyeok murmured distantly, not really expecting an answer.

At that moment, Yu Junghyeok felt that something had finally come to an end.

Even though something was coming to an end, the ache of a closure was really excruciating. Their truly long mourning was finally drawing to a close.

Yu Junghyeok was a regressor, someone who had always been living in his past. And now, he was ready to let go of that very past.

Yet what was this?

There was a bizarre guilt of corruption—of betrayal—creeping along the hollow of his heart.

By letting go of the past, he had to abandon the last sliver of hope and close the chapter of 'Kim Dokja' in favor of a new epilogue.

Yu Junghyeok wasn't sure if he had the confidence.

Once upon a time, he vowed to go where Kim Dokja was. But what should he do now that Kim Dokja had gone somewhere he couldn’t follow?

Han Suyeong rasped, "Kim Dokja, he…"

What if Kim Dokja didn't want them to give up?

Could it be that even if everyone else let go of their long, agonizing sorrow, that fool still wished for just one person to continue on with these acts of sheer stupidity at the cost of ruining their life?

Perhaps.

Ever since regaining the whole memory of his 0th turn, Yu Junghyeok was confident to say that he was the one who knew Kim Dokja the most. He knew enough to say that Kim Dokja had never truly expressed something he genuinely desired.

Contrary to the common beliefs, Kim Dokja was able to imagine his own happiness and have his own wishes. But he never took the step to claim them as his own.

Repressing the agonizing pain in his chest, Yu Junghyeok coughed, "I'm sure he's doing well. He's a tough guy, after all."

Kim Dokja was a man who had been too used to letting go.

"He's probably living a life of his own out there, and living it happily, too. Who knows, he might be reading some other weird book in the meantime, too."

He heard a snort from the author's direction.

"Even if we find him, the fool probably won't remember anything."

In the end, Yu Junghyeok would remain as the last person who carried all of their memories.

Yes.

This was the end of their mourning.

It had to be.

There was no meaning in crossing the world-line anymore. Even if they did find that 'Kim Dokja', what could they possibly do? They couldn't certainly impose the past on someone who didn't remember. The reincarnated Kim Dokja wasn't the 'Kim Dokja' they longed for. The one they knew no longer existed in this universe, no matter where they looked.

But just as Yu Junghyeok had started to accept this ending, Han Suyeong blurted out something strange.

"We don't know that. If the 'Ways of Survival' also exists in the place where he's reincarnated into, then…"

Yu Junghyeok's mind grinded to a halt.

No. No, he shouldn't.

There was no meaning to continue hoping.

"That guy, he… Is he still curious about the conclusion to this story, I wonder?" Han Suyeong asked.

Yu Junghyeok didn’t answer.

"Why are you going so far to save Kim Dokja? You've lost many companions by now already."

"Having lost many companions before doesn't mean you become accustomed to the pain of loss. And also… I have something I need to ask that fool."

Yu Junghyeok, a former Regressor on his 1865th turn and the Life and Death Companion of a certain constellation, stepped into the ark with Han Suyeong's manuscripts in his hands, opening the first page of a pilgrimage.

Despite all of his words of ending a mourning, it turned out that Yu Junghyeok was incapable of giving up his yearning.

He might be ready to let go of the past, to move on, to forgive himself, but one thing he certainly couldn't do was to stop his love for Kim Dokja.

He needed to go on this journey.

Flashes of his very first life and his 1864th life swarmed his mind as the ark lost its course inside the Dark Stratum. By the time he managed to open his eyes, he was already lost in space.

He realized that the ark had completely lost all its functions. The navigation system was unresponsive, and he couldn't see a single thing nearby. As a matter of fact, he couldn't even see a single planet nearby.

He needed to somehow find his original route.

As the days of his Story needing to be exhausted went on increasing, fatigue began accumulating in his body. He lost consciousness more and more frequently. The darkness was eating away at his mind.

Why did he come this far?

There were moments when his purpose would become blurry, uncertain. He came this far to carry out his mission. To deliver a 'story' to the reincarnated Kim Dokja. To revive the 'Kim Dokja' his companions remembered.

Why, though? He still had something he had to ask Kim Dokja, that was why.

But what was the question?

The moment he saw a wan face reflected on the ark's window, Yu Junghyeok recalled the forgotten question.

In a world where the scenarios had come to an end, what should he do to go on living?

Ah, yes. That was what he wanted to ask Kim Dokja. Because that guy knew everything.

Kim Dokja, always thinking about the end. The man who planned for everything, and didn't hesitate to sacrifice his own life to see the conclusion of a certain story.

Kim Dokja, who had loved his story so dearly that he had imagined an entire universe just so they could meet even just for a moment.

Kim Dokja, who had loved too much and too strongly that it literally broke him to pieces.

A fool like that should know, he thought.

Yu Junghyeok began reading Han Suyeong's novel.

He thought that by reading it, he would be able to endure against time, somehow.

While reading about Kim Dokja's story, he began to harbor this faint hint of anticipation.

He thought that the Kim Dokja from this story should be able to answer his question, so from the first episode onwards, he studiously read about Kim Dokja's life.

Some events he already knew, while some others were unfamiliar to him.

Some of them were absent.

To him, the figure of Kim Dokja relying on nothing else besides the 'Ways of Survival' to survive came across as alien. He read it so many times, yet he just couldn't understand it very well.

How could a mere story like this be able to support a life?

Little by little, Yu Junghyeok grew accustomed to reading the novel.

He even found some passages that he liked reading over and over again.

It was a scene that happened early on, when Kim Dokja and the companions had recently entered the scenarios—when they roasted the meat from the mole rats.

Yu Junghyeok pulled out a slice of dried meat from inside his coat underneath the spacesuit and began chewing on it as he read that passage again.

He should've cooked more for that fool.

When he opened his eyes, he was still all alone.

Yu Junghyeok dazedly sat there and began reading the novel again.

He continued to read this story all by himself, and…

...And read the story again.

He finally understood Kim Dokja just a little.

Yu Junghyeok, a former Regressor on his 1865th turn and the Life and Death Companion of a certain constellation, ran down the hospital wards alongside the people who used to belong to a certain Company, following the flow of those achingly familiar stories.

He stopped beside Han Suyeong, who was standing nervously with a hand hovering over a doorknob.

They exchanged glances, and Yu Junghyeok nodded.

Han Suyeong opened the door, but she didn't take a step forward. She was just frozen there, eyes locked onto the figure atop the hospital bed, who was dazedly looking at them while his stories circled around him, seeping back into his body.

The blinding letters of Han Suyeong's narration glowed around that person.

The heart of their nebula had awoken.

A strangled sob was heard from one of the party members, breaking the dam.

Soon, the room was full of crying people, yelling in frustration and sobbing in immense happiness as they reached for their missing star.

Yu Junghyeok was the only one who was still standing on the doorway, seemingly forgetting how to walk or how to speak.

He just stared at his Life and Death Companion.

Those star-filled eyes were crinkling with tears, a small smile leaking from those thin lips. His body looked older than the slumbering child they’d gotten used to seeing, but still far younger than how he looked back in the middle of the apocalypse, as if he hadn’t quite adapted to his reawakened stories.

Still, their star was home.

The reunion was long and intense, but eventually, their star gestured for them to step back as he shifted his gaze to Yu Junghyeok.

[Junghyeok-ah…] Yu Junghyeok heard the message from the old and rusty [Midday Tryst], coaxing him to get closer.

He didn't even know that their [Midday Tryst] still existed.

It was as if that one message had snapped him out of whatever daze he'd been in.

Yu Junghyeok strode towards the newly awakened man and hugged him tight without warning.

Desperate. Melancholic. Afraid. Relieved.

Euphoric.

Yu Junghyeok vaguely heard the others' gasps of surprise and Han Suyeong's particularly loud yell to not break a certain squid's wimpy body, but he couldn't care less. Not when he finally held the world in his arms.

The man he held in desperation tensed for a few seconds, squirming in confusion before freezing still, and then a weak hand was patting his back, its movement choppy and holding no strength.

There was a chuckle beside his ear.

"T—took you... long enough... J-junghyeok-ah…" the man in his arms rasped, playful but undoubtedly emotional. He stuttered his words, a little slurred and awkward, as if he was having difficulties forming them. As if he had forgotten how to speak in the first place.

Yu Junghyeok hated the implication that his failures had let this man forget.

"I t-told you... it would be an arduous path… d-didn't I?" The words were slowly becoming stronger, more coherent, more solid, as letters and sentences seeped back into the constellation's skin. Those eyes curled into crescents. "Quite th‐the delay… f-for our first anniversary…"

Yu Junghyeok blinked.

Ah. He also remembered.

Yu Junghyeok was furious.

Yu Junghyeok wanted to kiss this man.

So he did.

Loud gasps and bewildered shrieks filled the room again, but both of them didn’t pay any attention except to each other.

When they parted away, Yu Junghyeok growled into the man's shoulder, "You didn't exactly make it easier, bastard."

The man in his arms hummed.

"Thanks f-for finding me…"

Yu Junghyeok's response was to seal their lips for the second time.

After 1865 regressions and a hundred years floating in space, Yu Junghyeok had found the person he had lost on that fateful day, and Yu Junghyeok vowed to never lose him again.